#i think even if the video didn’t take a minute to load in and i understood right away it still would’ve gone down about the same way | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

ohsohoney · 1 month ago

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When it comes to love you're just as blinded.

Part Thirteen

Eminem x Musician

Summary: It starts with a drunk embarrassing video, it spirals into something a whole lot more.

Note: Thirteen!! I'm actually so excited to post this one. There's some angst, but like it's not all bad, this is actually probably one of my favourite updates to date. But this is just a forewarning! Lots of swearing too, to be expected really so.. Anyway, hope you enjoy it, have a feeling there's gonna be a lot of emotions over this one!

Thank you again for all the love this series has gotten, means so much and really does keep me writing:)

| Set in 2014, just after the release of LP 2

taglist: @thelastemzy @helloitsme1223

Masterlist

It was strained.

The entire house, its whole atmosphere. It was just incredibly heavy and strange.

It wasn’t hard to miss either, judging from the careful way Rosie had been watching the two of us since she’d first woken up this morning.

But last night hadn’t fared any better. Em had been weirdly distant; not meeting my eye, dancing around subjects, hardly speaking at all in actuality, and then he went as far as to avoid my touch— even as I’d handed him a fucking fork.

It was such a harsh reality check for me in truth, because suddenly, I felt like an intruder.

“El?” Rosie’s voice rang out, drawing me from my inner musings as well as the slice of toast I’d practically been burning a hole into.

“Hm?” I replied belatedly, dragging my eyes up and away from my plate to cast her a distant look, but Z was just wearing this perplexed sort of frown that had me blinking away any remaining haze as she dropped her spoon into her bowl of cereal. The splash sent a few drops of milk flying over the countertop.

“Called you like four times.” She sighed, that frown of hers still prominent enough for me to throw a small smile back in apology.

“Sorry, just– must be half asleep still.” I attempted to shake off the solemn feeling I’d been cast in, laughing faintly before I finally took a bite out of my own breakfast, hating the way the bread tasted like ash in my mouth.

She didn’t seem to take the bait though, not if the scrunch of her brow was any indication, or her next words, “Are you sure? ‘Cause last night–”

I didn’t know whether or not to be grateful for Marshall’s sudden appearance in that next moment because the girl swiftly cut herself off in favour of hurriedly spooning another load of cereal into her mouth.

Marshall whipped around the island without so much as a glance in my direction, opening up the fridge before he turned towards the coffee pot he had laid out but hadn’t used since my first day here. The kettle and the half-made mug of tea I’d set out for him either going unseen or just ignored. I was betting on the latter.

I opened my mouth to say something, if only to break the debilitating silence, when the man himself unknowingly cut me off. “You almost ready?” He questioned Z, who was still slurping up the remnants of her bowl.

The girl’s eyes darted towards him from over the porcelain brim of it before she dropped her arms to cast him a buoyant grin lined with, what could have only been, a milk moustache. I couldn’t help the fondness my smile gave way to, or how I reached out to wipe her upper lip with a nearby napkin.

Her expression softened at either the gesture or my laughter, I wasn't quite sure, but her bright eyes glanced back over to her Dad just as I withdrew my hand.

“Nearly, just my shoes.” Rosie told him easily enough, kicking her legs out beneath the table to better show him her shoeless feet. I saw Marshall roll his eyes out of the corner of my own eye and deigned to take a long sip of my brew if only to keep from flashing him the shared smile that threatened to break through. I didn’t think it would fair well right now, me trying to buddy up to him over his daughter's shameless antics.

“We got fifteen minutes ‘fore you’re late.” He replied to her as he all but drained his mug dry, the heady smell of coffee grinds polluted the kitchen's air. I bit the inside of my cheek when the familiar warning of scalding his mouth crawled its way out across my tongue, but I didn’t dare speak a word.

Rosie bobbed her head in a quick understanding, already jumping down from the barstool to run and grab the last of her things before she could set off for school, forgetting the dirtied bowl she had left on the counter.

I didn’t think much of my next movement, in truth, mostly looking for a reason to ignore the heavy cloud which had since settled over the shared space, as I picked up both the bowl, my plate too, to carry them both over to the bin and sink.

A sound had me glancing back over my shoulder instinctively once I’d turned on the taps though, surprised to find Marshall already looking in my direction, or rather the sinks, I supposed.

But maybe I was wrong about that, because my surprise jumped straight up to shock when I heard him speak, to me. “How many times I tell you, you ain’t gotta do that?” It didn’t sound much like the question it was meant to be, more of a grunt than anything else as his hard stare flickered up to meet mine.

It was instinct for me to frown, but as my forehead went to furrow I was quick to smooth it back out again and turn my back on him, knowing this conversation would be much easier if I made quick work of the dishes in the sink. “I don’t mind.” I muttered back, hands already covered in soap duds.

He didn’t deign to respond, just let the sound of the water fill the lengthy space that had been created between us so suddenly. My heart ached a little over it, in truth, as I wondered what I’d done so wrong to have fucked up the easy thing we had going on here.

Because look, it wasn’t as though I was new to quick snipes or heated conversations, or whatever the fuck this was. But it unsettled me enough to know that it was him that I was on the outs with. Marshall, he’d practically taken me in, done more than just house and feed me, but now he was just over it? Done with all the niceties because of an almost– what, kiss? If it had even been that at all.

But I didn’t, scratch that, I couldn’t linger on the thought because if I did, then I would be sure to start fucking throwing back words a lot more scathing than just ‘I don’t mind’.

I was broken from the way I was furiously scrubbing away at my plate with the scour when my personal space was suddenly invaded. I all but jumped out of my skin as my head shot over to the left to find Marshall now stood there, leaning over me in the tight corner which sat between the two adjoining counters, just so that he could drop his cup into the soapy basin.

His eyes met mine the second I looked up at him, mouth somewhat agape enough to have those icy blues of his dropping down to catch a quick look before they settled back on my own again. I went to swallow, confused and caught entirely off guard by the intrusion, but found I couldn’t. Which was good, in reality, seeing as I didn’t dare want to let onto the fact that he’d garnered anything more than surprise out of me.

“Seein’ as you don’t mind then.”

Marshall’s comment perplexed me further, before I caught wind of what he was really getting at with it. So it was in that next moment that I allowed my eyes to narrow, even as he brushed back against me slowly, almost languid in his retreat.

I huffed out a tiny, grim laugh, more air than anything, when I shoved the dish I’d been cleaning into his chest, flicking soap and water all over him. But it was missed only slightly by his moving form, catching his bicep instead and allowing a trail of water to drip down his bare forearm. “You won’t mind dryin’ then.” I shot back scathingly, clenching my teeth.

As much as my own action had surprised me, the drawl of my accent heightening in my anger gave way to the actual shock which lined beneath it, forcing me to turn back to the sink before Marshall could realise or actually comment on it.

I didn’t know what it was about what had transpired that kept him from jumping down my throat, but he kept quiet even as it took him a good second or two to grab the towel hanging by the draining rack and wipe at the sodden plate.

It was tense after that. Not a word was spoken, and so a shaky exhale left me the moment Rosie reentered the room, her shoes clicking against the kitchen tiles as she slung her school bag over a single shoulder.

If Marshall heard the reaction, he gave no indication, but was quick in the way he jumped back from the counter to meet her. “Let’s go.” He all but demanded after he’d chucked the towel down onto the side so that he could round the island.

I didn’t have to look back to hear the confusion Rosie obviously felt, “Is El not coming?”

Opening my mouth to answer her, my chest pinched when Marshall did so for me instead, “Not today. Come on, you gone be late.”

It was with that which he withdrew from the room with, leaving me blinking and Rosie gaping at his retreating figure. I wondered then where the hell it had all gone wrong.

When Rosie casted her eyes back to me, my hands were still hovering over the sink but I witnessed the way her usual smile had transformed into something more solemn, or perhaps just ruminative.

Being the adult, as well as the ‘bigger fucking person!’ I wanted to scream at his back. I forced my expression into something a whole lot sweeter than just the bewilderment that had plastered it a second before. I let go of a large breath and reached for the tea towel.

“I just got a new idea for a song, figured I’d write it down before I lost it, you know?” I attempted to reassure, brushing off how odd the entire situation must have seemed to her.

Because why was I covering for a forty-something year old man and his pissy demeanour? Well, one simple reason could be that it wasn’t Rosie’s fault that her Dad was being a massive prick at the moment, and that I for one wasn’t going to be shucking her with the bubbling irritation I felt for him. Something which I’d picked up from living in a house a whole lot worse than this, where you didn’t know whether a reply would earn you an outright laugh or something to tell your future therapist about.

Z was nothing if not perceptive though and so when she just hummed I was quickly taken back to my own childhood, to when some of my mum’s less shittier boyfriends had attempted to lie their way out of what was obviously happening between the two of them. My skin itched at the thought.

“You gonna be here when I get home?” She asked me before I could say anything at all, which broke my fucking heart, because Rosie was so quick to add to her question, if only to make it seem as though it had been something other that it was, “You know, ‘cause Dad’s talking to the school about what happened yesterday… So I just figured you might wanna hear about it when I got back.”

“Of course I do, Z.” I promised in one hasty reply, already moving to dry my hands before I could even really think about it. “Of course.” I repeated as I made my way over to her, smiling warmly when she met me halfway. “It’ll all be just fine, you hear me?” I murmured to her the second I let myself get swept up in one of her gentle hugs, “Your Dad will sort it all and I’ll be here waiting to hear about it the second you get home, okay?”

She was quiet for a long moment before she just whispered, “Swear it?”

My eyes shuttered closed and I buried a sad smile in the top of her head, already reaching out to lock my pinky with hers. “On my life.” I swore quietly, forcing myself to match the wry grin she wore when she pulled away to peer down at our interlocked fingers. Rosie giggled lightly, choosing to swing our arms back and forth.

I shook my hand in return, wobbling the pair of our limbs ever so slightly, before a slight cough gained our attention. I looked up whilst Z spun around on her heel to find Marshall stood waiting just outside of the doorway, a hazy shadow crossing over the bridge of his nose as he toyed with the set of keys he had in his hand.

His voice was all too soft when he spoke, eyes zeroed in on his daughter, “Time to go, bean.”

It took everything in me then to look away from him and over to the clock stationed on the far wall, letting Rosie’s hand slip from mine after I gave it a small squeeze. “He’s right.” I sighed lightly, “I’ll see you later, ‘kay?”

She was already peering back up at me when I looked over and so I wasn’t too startled by the sudden embrace she wrapped me up in before she hastily made her way towards the front door.

The quiet which settled in after her wake forced my gaze to return to the man who had yet to follow, his eyes faltering between my own before he dipped his chin in a barely there nod, a gesture which spoke volumes as he turned to leave.

–

Messages Lottiebug 🐞 In school!! Sorryyyyy didn’t mean to ignore u Was out late and passed out At lunch now, promise to call later xxxxx Love u don’t miss me too much:))

I actually wanted to wring the kid’s neck. She was such a stress inducer that I was sure to head back home to her covered in hives come this point. I mean, where did she get off on making me worry like that? Especially after all that had gone down, all that she had kept from me. And with Rosie last night too, her entire situation having flooded my mind with memories of the past.

Messages To: Lottiebug 🐞 You’re the actual antichrist I swear Where the hell have you been Lotts?? I’ve been worried sick just waiting for a text or a call, did your phone just die? Or did your charger break again? I swear I’m flying home if you don’t call me the second you step out of those school gates

Or you know, maybe sooner if things with Marshall carried on.

I sighed at the burst of adrenaline which had rushed and drained from me in a too short moment, before I tossed my phone down onto the couch I’d taken to sprawling on, a plethora of notes and pages dotted all around me.

I figured it was at least one less thing to worry about now though, even if everything going on with Lottie was still a rather large issue at hand. I wanted to scream about it all actually. But currently, my biggest problem was this song. And maybe the man who was set to return in the time between now and the moment Rosie got out of school.

Because see, I had a small hunch that Marshall was probably going to avoid me for as long as he possibly could, which would end up being the very second his daughter danced back through that door.

The thought had me groaning again, unhappy with how everything was turning out, as well as the lyrics that I just couldn’t get to sound quite right. See, I hadn’t been outright lying to Z when I’d claimed that I had an idea for a new song. Being unable to sleep truly worked wonders on the psyche and could send your imaginative thoughts into a whole other realm.

But still, I was struggling to get it all to fall into place, the verse sounding much more like a bridge and the chorus still lacking something. Even so, it was promising. That much I could tell. Only thing was, I was stuck on whether or not it was going to end up on Marshall’s scrapheap or my next album.

It was what I was here for, wasn’t it? To write, to collaborate. Even after we’d gotten a little bit side tracked the last few days. But I just didn’t know how much he wanted from me, we hadn’t really spoken about it or hashed over all the gritty details. And yet, even after last night and this morning, I was still here trying to pull something together for him to come back and hear. Even if I was sure that he’d can it the second he did.

“You look like someone just shit on your chest.”

I startled at the voice, flailing a tad to get a better look at the figure which now loomed behind the sofa, but it seemed as though the scare had been enough to send all my hard work flying.

Three things happened in the next moment: I gaped, frowned, and then ultimately topped it all off with a rather hefty huff, turning back to grab at the pages I’d just been scrawling on with my tongue tucked between my teeth.

“Shat on my chest?” I answered back in the same dull monotone he’d just used, face screwing up slightly as I stretched to collect the last page that had slipped its way further down the sofa. “You know that expression intimately, or just guessing?”

A breathy snort sounded just as the page I’d been reaching for was snatched up before me. My gaze snapped upwards in narrowed slits to scowl at him, unimpressed by the action, before I held out a hand towards him, silently asking for it back.

Marshall took no note. Instead his eyes flitted over the red ink I’d been working on, reading it at a mile a minute. He handed it back without another word said and then rounded the sofa to fall into the seat beside me.

He had picked up a couple drinks whilst he’d been out, it seemed. Just a couple of coffee’s from what I could first tell and so I wrinkled my nose at the obnoxious smell they let off whilst I settled the final page back into the pile I’d since formed.

“Figured you’d be gone longer.” I couldn’t help but mention whilst he settled in, taking a slow deliberate sip from one of the brown paper cups before he slid the other across the coffee table in my direction, an action to which I raised a brow to.

He shrugged languidly as though nothing had occurred between us earlier, like he had the entire world at his feet actually, and then gathered up the pile, flicking through the pages without much care. “Dealt with that kid and his shitty-ass father, stopped off to get somethin’ to eat when Paul called, then came home.” He quipped promptly enough, leaning forward in his seat to rest his cup back down on the table and shuffle the first few pages between the hands he now had resting on his knees, “This new?”

I flicked my tongue over my front teeth, harsh enough to feel it drag and keep my head from imploading, but careful enough that it didn’t bleed– just yet, I allowed myself to add on. Because honestly, if I had to refrain myself much more than I currently was it sure was going to.

“Yes.” I quipped shortly, picking up my phone to slide through the brief voice notes I’d made the previous night in bed and then again when I’d stepped out of the shower this morning. “It was just something I kept on replaying, a little melody.” I explained if only so that I wouldn’t allow myself the space to start pestering him with questions and his sudden switch up, because what was with that? “Figured I’d just get it down whether it was good or not.”

He grunted out a hum.

I gritted my teeth.

“What happened at the school then?” I asked in a mutter, feigning nonchalance even though my eyes were already trained on him reading my words and the fact that I was now dying to know what he’d been on about when referencing this kid’s ‘shitty-ass father’.

His eyes were slow in the way they sloped over to me, my own darting back down to my phone if only so that I could pretend to meet his stare. He looked away again a second later, rolling a single shoulder. “Some teacher caught the shove yesterday, principle was already waitin’ for me when I pulled up.”

Surprised, I blinked. “What, he dragged both you and the kid’s dad in?”

“She. Misogyny has no place in the modern world, Elia.” Marshall corrected all too easily with that curt smile of his that he was so used to using. Typically it would have had me chuckling, but now it just pissed me off further, especially with the use of my full name.

Instead of reacting though, something I supposed he was aiming for there, I rolled my eyes. “She, what the fuck ever. What happened?”

Marshall leaned back in his seat with a quiet huff, “Guy got what was comin’ to him, fuckin’ wrung him and his kid out. Bitch figured he could say a bunch of shit about me and my daughter and I’d just let him?” He blew out a small titter then, though his evident smile was grim, “Bastard’s jus’ lucky I didn’t throw him through one of them windows. Could pay someone more than what he earns in a year to chop his fuckin’ hands off for me.”

I didn’t know how to take his words, all I knew was that a strange emotion had settled over me upon hearing them, almost uncurling the coil that my shoulders had wound themselves into.

Still, I licked at my lower lip and reached out to take the other cup he’d pushed down onto the table, pleasantly surprised by the lack of coffee it offered. Infact, the sweet taste of chocolate started to chip away at the icy irritation that had been brewing since early this morning.

“So, no lawsuits?” I murmured over the brim, pulling up a leg to get more comfortable on the sofa, seeing as my little makeshift workspace had now been overtaken.

Marshall’s eyes caught on me in that next moment and, stupidly, I wasn’t put off by the way they were so clearly examining me. The grit of his jaw softened after a minute and so I figured he’d found whatever it was he was searching so intently for. “A fine for parkin’ in a no-stop zone. But nah, no lawsuits this time ‘round.”

One corner of my mouth ticked upwards impulsively, though I was quick to smother it behind the paper cup, feigning a sigh instead, “And here I thought I’d get to witness a real court in session.”

Em didn’t hide his own smile at my words, his eyes gleaming in a way that gave more away than he realised. You see me, they said.

I supposed I did.

–

Working on music had always been a way for me to channel or process my emotions and thoughts, whether it was when writing or just messing around. It was possibly the reason as to why I was constantly in a bubble of it, when working, when cooking, driving, when I showered or got ready for bed. It was just always there, a constant companion in a way.

Em seemed to be torn from the same cloth. In the days I’d spent with him and Rosie, I’d gotten to understand that in a whole new way, he played music almost as much as I did, even if it was barely audible, I could still see the way it settled him in the drum of his hand or the tapping of his foot. I guessed it was why we worked so well together, just in the studio of course.

Somehow we managed to leave whatever resentment and odd feelings we’d been experiencing at the door to the downstairs studio when we’d moved from the living room to get a start on writing again. The song I’d been working on earlier had been pushed to the side so that Marshall could show me the few verses and ideas he’d had for the song we’d been messing with previously, the same one he’d called Dre and practically fawned over.

“I figure it’ll open the album.” He explained from where he’d wheeled his way over to the sound deck, scribbling over the top of it with the pen he kept chewing on subconsciously. “Set the tone, then we can just work around it.”

I hummed noncommittally, rereading the chorus I’d jotted down and since toyed with. “Could have a big voice on it,” I suggested to him, “Like, it sort of feels like a symphony in the way it builds, I reckon a few people could be jumping over one another for a chance at it.”

When I was met by an immediate silence, the scratch of his pen having paused, the rustle of his papers too. I dragged my eyes up and away from my own page to cast him a sparing glance, but was evidently surprised to find him already watching me. Rather intensely.

“What?” I queried, dropping my hand away from where I’d been rolling my lower lip between my fingertips.

He levelled me with a blank look, “You’re fuckin’ stupid if you reckon I’ma ask anyone but you to sing on this.”

My brow furrowed, before I raised my hand in a placating gesture. “It was just a suggestion– a good one too. Song won’t get as much recognition if I’m on it.”

That blank look shifted so quickly that I could barely even blink before it morphed into something which visibly portrayed his inner irritation. “You think I give a fuck about shit like that? I care about how it sounds, not how much it can make.”

Rolling my eyes, I just shook my head and looked back down at the marked margain, not entertaining him with a reaction. I knew I was right in my words and hadn’t meant anything by it, he could take it how he liked for all I cared.

He didn’t appear to enjoy that though, seeing as he dropped the pen down onto the deck with a clatter to push himself to his feet and walk closer to the couch I was still perched on. “I mean that shit. What, you think I was jus’ gone push you aside? You think that little of me? Last I checked, this was your fuckin’ song.”

His voice was littered with misplaced exasperation and the way he chose to tower over me, even if he was still stood a foot and a half away, showed it too. He was looking for a fight, had been waiting for it, gearing up. I realised then, rather belatedly, that he wasn’t too good at holding onto his emotions. Sure, he could wait and bite his tongue when he chose to, but those feelings he had only seemed to bubble further the longer he held them in, as though they were stewing in the acid of his stomach, waiting to burn through.

I could really see it now. He was antsy, overassessing, overthinking this entire situation. I could almost smell the unease he’d been simmering in, and I knew it was all down to what had transpired the night before. Only now, he had a real excuse to bite back at me. Rosie wasn’t around to hear or interrupt, and me? I was done being impassive.

“Yeah, Em. Of course,” I drawled with little to no care as to how I was practically scoffing at his words, “I think you’re an egotistical prick who just wants to steal my work, wasn’t as though I was the one to suggest getting someone else on it or anything.”

He didn’t take too kindly to the sarcasm.

“You’re awful fuckin’ mouthy for someone who claims they a nobody, you know that?” He sniped back with enough heat to have my back immediately straightening, “All high and mighty, that it? Like you can do no fuckin’ wrong.”

My mouth fell open because– what?

“Just waltz in here,” He continued on in his tirade, “Into my goddamn life and jus’ throw your opinions out, then expect me to lap it all up. Well I ain’t your fuckin’ lapdog and I’m sick of listenin’ to you tell me what to do and how to do it.” He shot out, casting me away with a gesture of his hand which seemed so pointless, what with the way his unblinking gaze was still hooked on me.

“Me?” I bristled, my voice high in the face of his outright irony as I stared up at him. “You brought me here! You! You were the one to call me, Marshall. You were the one to ask me to collaborate. To come stay with you here. To invite me into your fucking goddamn life!” I mimicked callowly, “So don’t go throwing that shit back in my face just ‘cause it's blown up in yours now.”

“The fuck’s that meant to mean?” Marshall seethed, ridgid in his stance as I forced myself to my feet too, done with sitting below a man so full of anger.

I laughed bitterly and shook my head at him. “I don’t know what the fuck last night was, but since it happened you’ve been acting like a proper dick about it. An even bigger one than I’d been expecting, too.” I told him plainly, pointing towards his chest as I tried to bite back my gall smile, “And everyone else might be fine soothing your ego and apologising to appease whatever fucking delusions you’ve conjured up in that thick head of yours, but I’m not gonna let a grown man mess with my head and make out like I’ve done something wrong or acted inappropriately. ‘Cause look, I’m sorry if I offended your sensibilities, but again, you’re old enough to fuckin’ be able to work through your own feelings. I can’t be expected to read your mind!”

My chest was heaving with all the anger that fueled my words and I only realised a second too late just how close we’d grown in the short space that sat between his heated question and my reply.

I glanced up into his eyes, that familiar blue gone, now swimming in dark hues. They flickered between my own and for a split second, I wondered what he saw. He was breathing just as harshly as I was, lit by the intense conclusion we’d been pulled into.

It was make or break, I figured.

But then he met me halfway and suddenly I was drowning in him. His hands in my hair, tugging, my fingers digging into his sides. It was unlike the night before, where his breath had been teasing, ghosting over my skin in baited wait. His words soft and genuine. Now it was just sparks flying off– only not in that shitty Disney magic sort of way, but instead it felt like steel being forged in fire.

I couldn’t concentrate on the way he was biting at me, teeth clashing as he forced me to expose my neck, me responding in the only way I knew how, dragging his lip between my incisors and pulling. Tugging. Hoping it hurt.

He walked us backwards, feet encasing mine, drawing me up against the nearest wall. My fingers dug in harder, feeling the muscle of his torso jump beneath me. He knocked my head back and we both heard the collision it made with the concrete there but neither of us seemed to care. The sting was enough for me to sink my nails into the skin of his neck and he retaliated by dropping his mouth to my jaw, leaving me gasping at the ceiling that sat above us, pulling him closer even as his own hands started to explore.

“Bastard.” I blew out, voice hitching when his tongue circled around my pulse point.

He answered me by nipping at the skin there, not enough to bruise but to mark, dragging his mouth lower and lower, tugging at the hem of my top until he bit harshly into the collarbone he’d exposed. I choked on my next breath, clawing at his nape until he soothed the sting with a featherlight kiss.

I dragged his face back up to meet mine, his jaw in the palms of my hands as I knocked my nose against his, panting against his open mouth, not even questioning how I’d gotten this worked up by just his teasing. Because that was what this was, a game. The opener before the real show could begin. He seemed to know it too, smirking briefly at me before he slotted his mouth back over mine, dragging his thumb down my cheek to pool in the small dip there.

My hands fell too, they clung to whichever part of him they could find, but it wasn’t enough. It felt as though everything I’d been feeling, every emotion I’d experienced, not just over the past twelve hours, but during our phone calls, our texts, and the days I’d spent with him here, were pouring out of me. From crevasses that I didn't even know could exist until then.

He pushed and he shoved, greedy in the task of getting what he wanted, but I was just as bad. Just as eager. The moments over the past week where I’d lingered too long, looked too intently, were all making sense now. Silently, I hoped I left my own mark on him, something that was enough to have his mind lingering on me instead.

I wondered then if he’d known this had been coming. If all his irritation had just been pent up tension. If he’d been angered by the fact he’d given himself away last night.

But then he pulled away.

My eyelids fluttered.

His thumb dropped to swipe over my bottom lip. It settled there for a second, then two.

It withdrew, smeared in a sheer coat of spit. I watched on, jaw agape, as he lifted it up to meet his own mouth, wiping it clean in one swift suck all whilst he stared back at me, his eyes taunting. Mouth menacing.

My next breath escaped me in a silent shudder.

His eyes, dilated and glimmering, flickered between my own. Mirrored arousal looming over us like a thick fog, before he took another step back.

Away.

Retreating.

Only, was that what it was?

I watched, baited by his stance. By the devious look his gaze gave way to. The rest of his features were solemn almost, so blank that it was practically daunting. But his eyes…

They told a different story.

The studio was so quiet I doubted the thought that he couldn’t hear my heavy pants, or the way I swallowed around the lump in my throat. I waited, pondering over his next move, what he might say, before he tilted his head.

The motion caught me by surprise, ever slight as it was, before he spoke, “Times up.”

My face must have ploughed through a dozen different emotions in that brief pause, but confusion won out, head shooting to the right the second he decided to move, crossing the short distance which stood between him and the door.

“Z’s home.”

Ah.

Fuck.

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ieatedyourcrayons · 4 months ago

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hiii could you write something about quackity having a french streamer girlfriend who’s really kind and funny!! one day she decides to surprise him and go to LA without telling him, she asks for his friends’ help and everything!!! since she a streamer she updated her ig story but she blocked him so he couldn’t see her stories haha and alex goes on stream the night when she arrives, doing a cooking stream or wtv while renting about how his gf didn’t answered his texts and calls BUT he hears the doorbell ring and there she is haha

Across the world

!NOT SPELL CHECKED!

Quackity x FrenchFemale!Reader

You and Quackity have been long distance for a little over a year now. You met at little get together with mutual friends in Orlando. Since then you and Alex have been inseparable.. besides the ocean separating you.. but..

You have a decent following on twitch , of mostly women and other french people, you blew up because of your kind and carefree personality and how interactive you are with fans.

It’s been a few months since you’ve seen your boyfriend in person, you both longing for eachother, you decide to surprise him, and maybe make a video out of it. You immediately message quackitys friends to get some help planning this little surprise.

After a few hours of back and forth text with Quackitys friends you buy your plane tickets and begin packing your bag. You get your instagram and block quackity from your story before taking a picture of your luggage and clothes scattered all over the floor.

you giggle to yourself as you start folding clothes, bubbling with excitement as think about all the things you and quackity are going to do and how you’re going to surpise him.

Your thoughts are interrupted when a call from niki rings on your phone, you quickly answer the call from your best friend.

“sooo, where ya goin?” niki chirps through the phone. You squeal before responding, “I’m flying to california to surprise Alex!” you giggle out

“Ahh really!! no way y/n” Niki squeals back, “take me with you” she adds, joking.

“Yes way! and i would if it this wasn’t so last minute” you laugh back. At this point you’ve set your phone on the ground with niki on speaker as your fold your clothes into the suitcase.

After a few hours and lots is girl talk with niki, your bag is fully packed and ready for your flight tomorrow evening. You could barely sleep after you and Niki finally ended the call. You tossed and turned all night, managing maybe 4 and a half hours of sleep.

You wake up with a groan before remembering your plans. You spring out of bed, quick to get your morning activities done with.

After a few hours of pacing around the house and squealing to niki, you get in your uber, ready for the airport.

After you’re settled in your seat on the airplane you take a picture picture and post it on your story, adding a “😛😛” in the picture.

After the long flights you arrive in Los angeles the next night, you groan and stretch in your plane seat as you wait for your chance to get up and grab your bag from overhead.

After getting out of you seat and grabbing your bag you make your way out of the crowded loading dock and go over to wait for your main luggage and the baggage claim.

A bunch of notifications flood your phone, all the ones that were blocked from coming while your phone was in airplane mode, one of the notifications stand out to you, and thats quackitys twitch notification.

“Quackity is live! Cooking time”

Excitement fills your vein as you think of how perfect this is going to be. You click on the notification and the sound of Alex yelling at his chat fills your ears through your airpods.

“No chat I’m not making a cake! this is a cooking stream not a baking stream, yall are stupid!” He says with fake anger, hiding a laugh.

Quackity stands on stream with a flimsy chefs hat on top of his beanie paired with a white cooking apron that says “Kiss the chef💋” hung over his neck. His black hoodie and black cargo pants hang loosely on his body as he continues yelling at his stream.

You laugh lightly at his fake aggression before putting your phone in your pocket and retrieving your bag off the conveyor.

“Chat, tell me why, my girlfriend has not been answering in over 26 hours!” Quackity yells with more fake aggression.

“No chat that is not oddly specific- Shut up!” He adds while laughing.

Quackity continues his rant about you not answering the phone and you’re silently hoping chat doesn’t mess anything up by mentioning your instagram stories recently.

“You know what chat, maybe she’s doing something productive! let’s think positive guys! my girlfriend would never ghost me!” He laughs out. You’re fighting your laughter while in the backseat of the uber. You’re practically jumping out of your seat as the scenery on the way to Alex’s house becomes familiar.

You take a second to update niki and cellbit. Cellbit was the one who helped you plan everything out, so you gotta give him some updates ya’know.

Quackity is now in a hot mess with flour and sugar everywhere, he’s yelling and cussing at chat , blaming the mess on them.

“Chat why would you do this??” He yells sarcastically as slaps a pile of flour on the counter, causing it to go everywhere, which puts him into a dramatic coughing fit.

At that point you’ve arrived at Alex’s house, you had the Uber park across the street, you given the man a brief rundown of what you were doing and he loved it, you tipped him well for helping you with your plan.

As you get out the car you giggle to yourself quietly before making your way to the front door with all your things. You slowly open the door and mentally slap Alex for leaving his front door unlocked.

You silently step inside, shutting the door with so much caution then leaving your belongings by the door.

“Chat i am not making a mess!! this was all you guys!” You hear quackity yell.

You walk over to the kitchen, quietly , ready to surprise him, on stream too? even better

You come around the corner with a “Alex what have you done?!” As you dramatically look at the flour everywhere.

Quackity stops dead in his tracks, like he’s frozen, before his brian suddenly registers you’re there.

“Y/N?!? WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE????” He yells

“i came to visit you!!” you squeal back , jumping slightly

“IS THAT WHY YOU WERE IGNORING ME!!” He yells dramatically before running up to you bringing you into the tightest embrace ever.

You hug him back tightly, sighing into his warmth.

“M’missed you” he mumbles into your shoulder before breaking the embrace and dramatically dragging you to the camera view

“CHAT WERE YOU IN ON THIS!!?” Quackity yells at chat, you’re bent over laughing at his stupid antics. Chat is rolling, quackity and his kitchen are covered in flour and random ingredients.

#mcyt x reader #quackity x reader #fanfic #dsmp x reader #quackity x y/n #quackity x you #alex quackity #french #female reader #twitch streamer #cooking #quackity #niki nihachu #crayons writes #mcyt x you #mcyt #dsmp x y/n #dsmp x you

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ilikekidsshows · 5 months ago

Note

What do you think of the argument that Marinette keeps secret to benefit others while Adrien keeps secrets out of selfishness?

---

I think Adrien salters are so infected by bad faith criticism that Adrien could sneeze and they would claim he was just trying to get sympathy by faking an illness. Adrien can't do anything without them taking the worst possible interpretation and running with it. I also think that they have Adrien and Marinette confused. Adrien is the abuse victim who has been taught that his feelings don't matter while Marinette is the control freak in pigtails. Adrien lies because he has been taught to lie, while Marinette lies because her biggest fear is feeling uncomfortable for the 10 minutes it would take to explain the truth.

But, let's play a game of pretend. Let's pretend Marinette is a pure saint who only ever lies to bring happiness to others and never for her own gain. It still wouldn't matter. The argument has never been: “did Marinette lie for the right reasons?” It's always been: “did she have a right to lie?” and the answer is, unless you're a victim-blaming ghoul, a resounding “Fuck no!” Marinette’s good intentions don’t actually help any of the people she lies to, because things they have a right to know and that they need to know so that they can make informed decisions are being kept from them, by Marinette. The people defending her can’t even give any reasons for why the “logic” of her lies is sound, because they just make vague comments about the secrecy being “more secure” without giving any examples why Cat Noir knowing the two-man team is now a three-man team, there’s a potential backup Ladybug and who their allies are is such a security risk.

As I said, there is no point in arguing over selfless or selfish lies because that's not what the discussion is about. It's about lying about things the other person has a right to know. Marinette is not entitled to Adrien's personal life, any of the conversations he’s ever had about her or every thought he’s ever had, even if they’re negative thoughts about her, but Adrien, however, is entitled to know what the fuck is happening in the team he’s in. He’s entitled to know his father was a supervillain. And he’s definitely entitled to know that he's a remote control robot and his cousin can now snap him out of existence whenever he wants. Marinette causes problems by lying and no amount of good intentions will fix that. In fact, the good intentions make it worse, because now her victims feel like they have to give her a free pass because “she didn’t mean to hurt anybody”. Maybe people should get mad at her for once and maybe she’d stop being like this. Because Marinette lies constantly over the most inconsequential shit, so it’s not surprising she lies about the actually important shit too.

Because, like, let's not kid ourselves here; Marinette’s lies aren't within spitting distance of selfless. Marinette lies to avoid feeling uncomfortable, because the truth makes her uncomfortable or makes her look bad. This is consistent with her lies as both a hero and a civilian. Her reasons for lying include not wanting to deal with Chloé's reaction to being told she was off the hero team, not wanting to explain to Cat Noir that she isn’t the independent, perfect leader she portrays and actually buckled under the pressure and made Rena a permanent team member to take off some of the load, wanting to sabotage a girl who has a crush on Adrien so that they don't get to spend time together, lying about deleting the most important video Alya had filmed in her career as an amateur journalist so far because she didn't want her to be upset at her, and trying to avoid a preschooler thinking she's cringe. There is no greater good here. If there's a pattern to Marinette's lies, it's not selflessness, it's her fragile ego.

#ml salt #ml fandom salt

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jaehunnyy · 2 years ago

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Finally home

Genre: tooth-rotting fluff, crack, long distance relationship

Word count: 0.9k

Pairing: boyfriend!San × gn!reader (feat. the rest of Ateez)

Warnings: i guess nothing really just one curse word, pet names and a kiss, probably grammar mistakes

__________________________________ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐

There was a lot of chaos in the dorm Choi San lived in; hell, chaos wouldn’t even describe the mess in his room. Half of his clothes were scattered around the floor, while the other half was in his luggage, fighting to fit in the already loaded space. Wooyoung promised that he would help San, but his “help” felt more like a nuisance for the two-tone haired boy.

“Woo, I swear to God. Can you stop laughing and actually help me?” he sighed, looking at his friend—who only started to laugh harder.

“I can’t help it,” the youngest said between laughter “you’re just so funny when you’re serious.”

A defeated sigh escaped San’s lips again, but his face lit up when he saw Wooyoung coming in his direction, ready to help. A few minutes passed, and the door slightly opened, revealing a tall, blonde boy.

“San, we need to take you to the train station in a few—“

It took him a while to process what was happening in front of him. Wooyoung was sitting on the luggage, pressing his body on it, while San was struggling to close it.

“—minutes.” He managed to say, before starting to giggle.

All this agitation had a purpose, though. San was going to meet his lover for the first time, after three months of talking through video calls and falling asleep to the sweetness of each other’s voice.

“Hongjoong will make a big fuss about this. He told you to get everything ready by today, you know?” the eldest added, watching as the two finally won the fight against the suitcase.

“No need for him to find out. I have everything under control, see? Easy peasy.” San’s lips curled into a content smile as he spoke, before going downstairs with the others.

“San is ready, guys! C’mon,” Wooyoung said excitedly, grabbing Yeosang’s hand and dragging him to the door.

The others joined them not too much after, but they noticed someone who didn’t move at all, fixing them with his stare instead–Hongjoong. His mullet made him look a bit fierce in everyone else’s eyes, but his friends knew how much of a softie he was—so, why was he so serious then?

“You’re in pajamas, San. Do you want to go meet them like this?” he asked, fighting the urge to smile at the younger’s antics.

San gasped, running in his room and finally completing his outfit. He felt ready, but the nervousness he promised to leave home didn’t seem to let him go. “It will be okay, San,” he thought, then smiled and went to the others.

The ride to the station was a fun one, filled with laughter and the boys' teasing. San was going to miss them, but he couldn’t afford to refuse a one week vacation in the city where his lover lived.

“Take care of you, San,” Mingi smiled and patted his shoulder, to which San answered with a large smile, dimples on full display.

“And send pics!” Wooyoung shouted, making Jongho stare at him.

“I will, guys. Thanks,” he hugged them one last time, before getting on the train.

On the other side, you were more than excited to finally meet the boy who stole your heart. Even though it was hard to adjust to each other’s routine at the beginning, love made you get used to it quite fast. And now, there you were, waiting for him to finally arrive. All you could think about was hugging him and being able to admire his beauty in person; it made your heart speed up. You got more enthusiastic when you saw a train stopping, but then pouted when you realized it wasn’t the one you were waiting for. You took your phone from your bag and texted your friend, losing the track of time and failing to notice the smiley boy approaching you.

“Do you happen to be Y/N?” he asked in a teasing manner, already wrapping his arms around your waist.

You flinched at first, but forgot about everything else when you figured out it was him.

“Sannie, you’re here!” You shouted, legs instantly wrapping around his waist, while your hands found their way to his neck. You hid your face in the crook of his neck, inhaling the sweet perfume he was wearing.

“You have no idea how many times I’ve dreamed about this, sweetheart. Thank you for being mine,” he said while tightening his arms around you, spinning you softly.

Your chuckles filled his ears, and it was the sweetest sound he had ever heard. When he let you down, his hands grabbed your face softly, admiring your beautiful features, just like you did to him. He closed his eyes and got closer to you, your lips finally touching, turning into a sweet kiss, the love flame inside of you burning more than ever. He smiled, resting his forehead on top of yours. Your hands reached his dimples, poking them softly.

“It was on my bucket list, I needed to do it,” you smiled innocently, making him laugh softly: “but we have so much more on our bucket list, let’s go!”

You grabbed his hand, dragging him after you. God, he felt like he was meant to be there, like this was his actual home. Everything felt right, and he couldn’t wait for the day you could fulfill all of your dreams, together.

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moody-alcoholic · 3 months ago

Text

Special Delivery Service

Chapter 13 - The Gun

Summary: Simon x reader, 4.4k words. When retail therapy turns into needing actual therapy. CW: descriptions of weapons, fictional terrorist attack, blood, death, use of a weapons, vomit, bombs, implied suicide bombings, PTSD, I’m European I know noting about guns, hurt/comfort.

Previous - masterlist - Next AO3

Enjoy <3

You spend the whole morning watching videos on how to use a pistol. You think you’re getting the hang of it. It’s not too difficult, there’s the safety and then you pull back on the barrel to load it, or something. You’ve seen that in films people pulling back on the barrel. It’s harder then you think, maybe it’s because it has no magazine in it.

You spend the next few hours almost turning the flat upside down looking for some, eventually you find one in the sock door of all places. It has bullets in it, you take them all out and count them all before putting them back. So there are 10, you don’t know if that’s a lot or not.

You teach yourself how to load it and ‘cock’ it with bullet in it. You don’t even dare touching the trigger when there are bullets in it out of fear of it accidentally going off. After another hour or so of getting used it it you decide to do something else.

You look on your phone for nearby activities even though you don’t know what you want to do. There’s a shopping centre nearby you decide thats a good idea a little bit of retail therapy to take your mind off missing Simon. Maybe you’ll buy him something nice. That makes you smile, now it’s a mission; find something nice for Simon.

You go to put the gun back in the drawer but stop yourself. You should take it with you. It’s an intrusive thought if you’d ever heard one, it would be kind of cool though. Like spies from TV. No it’s dangerous. You feel a race of adrenaline at the thought of going out in public with a weapon hidden on you. Maybe this is good to get you over your awkwardness around them, exposure therapy.

It makes you smile, okay you’re going to do it. You go into the bedroom pulling clothes out. Tight jeans and a long baggy shirt. You stand looking in the mirror in the bathroom. You place it in the back of your jeans first, it’s uncomfortable and sticking out, besides if you bend down it would be easy to spot.

You take it out looking at it in your hand. You shove it barrel first down the front of your jeans against your hip. It feels better there and the baggy shirt hides it well enough. You grab your bag, yeah if you carry your bag on that side you wouldn’t even know. You feel an excited buzz run through you. You were actually going to do this. You smile psyching yourself up. You’re just going to the store, 20 minutes tops. No one will ever have to know, especially not Simon.

——————————

It had been longer then 20 minutes but you didn’t feel as worried as you thought you would on the walk to the centre. It's busy early evening people on their way home from work stopping off to do some shopping on the way home. You don’t really know what you want to get for Simon, you’re basically window shopping until you get drawn into lush just from the smell alone.

“Need any help?” The chipper employee asks. It’s the first time someone has talked to you. It makes the weapon feel suddenly heavy in your jeans. You move your bag to cover it.

“Just looking, thank you.” You say nodding back at her. There’s that spike of adrenaline again. You like the feeling of having something on you that no one knows about. It makes you feel strangely powerfully. You’re looking at the tubs of moisturiser as your phone rings It’s Simon, it makes you smile as you pull the phone up to your ear. You don’t even get chance to say hello.

“Where are you, I tried calling the flat you weren’t there.” He says, he sounds annoyed.

“Yeah I went out, I’m shopping.” You say stopping to look at the body soaps. Maybe you’ll buy Johnny one, his nickname being Soap, it makes you smile.

“Where?” He asks.

“I don’t know some shopping centre down the road.” You say frowning, now you can definitely hear an edge of something in his voice. It sends a shiver up your spine as you see a person running past the front of the store.

“Which centre is it called Mayland?” He asks quickly. You try to look out the front of the store to see but there are more people running. Then you hear it loud pops, people screaming. Your breath catches in your throat.

“I don’t know Simon, what’s wrong?” You ask. The woman in the store grips your arm making you jump.

“Hey,” You shout at her as she pulls you in the store hitting the button to close the store front.

“There’s a shooter in the centre.” Her voice shaking eyes wide. You don’t believe her for a second then you hear more popping making you gasp. The weapon you have stashed feels heavy and cold against your skin. You swallow hard as the metal grate slams shut on the ground.

“Simon there’s a shooter in the shopping centre.” You say following the woman who’s pulling you to the back of the store.

“I know we’re on our way where are you?” He asks. Your minds blank you can’t remember. You look at the employee as she pulls you behind the counter. You can hear screaming and more shots.

“Lush,” you whisper as she shushes you.

“Stay exactly were you are okay? We’ll come find you.”

“Okay.” You reply. “Come quickly.”

“As fast as we can.” He replies then hangs up. Your hands are shaking as you put your phone away.

“Do you think I should turn the lights off?” The woman next to you asks, she’s young probably the same age as you. Her name tag says Hannah, you look at her her makeup running down her face. You don’t know what to do.

“Where’s the switch?” you ask as quiet as you can. There are still shots going off, glass shattering, people screaming.

“In the back.” She says.

“Maybe we should hide in there.” You say, she nods. You both get up slowly creeping across the floor to the employees only room. You look out the windows as you pass. You can’t see anyone. There’s another scream another shot. You feel sick. She reaches up with her shaking hands punching in the door code.

The door clicks open and you follow her in closing it behind you. There is no window on the door so you can’t see out. She turns the light off going over to the computer.

“We can look on the security camera.” Her voice is still shaking as she types in the password to the computer.

“Where does that door go?” You ask pointing at the other door in the room.

“Access to the store room. like a big warehouse.” She says as she pulls up the security camera up. Good, there’s another way out we won’t get trapped here. That makes you feel better, the weapon on your waist doesn’t feel as heavy now. You have a way to protect yourself. And Hannah, you’ve decided you need to protect her too.

You look at the security camera, you can just about see out the front windows from the angle. With the lights off it makes it easier to see shadows of people running across past the windows.

“Should we call the police?” She asks. You don’t know, maybe you should. You have no idea what to do you just want to get out of here. Then you remember Simon is coming, which means the police are probably already on their way.

“I think they know about it. My boyfriend he’s.. army, he said he was on his way. We should stay were we are.” You say trying to sound reassuring. She nods looking back up at the cameras. You can still hear noise outside, not so much screaming any more but pops and smashing.

“How many do you think there are?” She asks.

“I don’t know.” You shake your head. You don’t want to speculate. There is a loud crashing noise so loud it makes you both jump and turn your heads to the door. It sounded like a bomb. Maybe that's it, it’s over. There’s more screaming. It’s not over. You look back over at the monitor.

Hurry up Simon, please hurry up.

You see movement on the camera, you have to squint to look but there is definitely something there. You’re holding your breath as the glass window of the store smashes. Hannah lets out a screech, you almost want to shout at her to shush her. Your heart is pounding too fast for you to think. You should leave, this door is only made of wood. It’s not going to hold off a man with a machine gun.

“We should leave.” You whisper, pointing at the door behind her. Your eyes are still glued to the monitor as the man steps into the store.

“What about your boyfriend?” She asks her voice catching in her throat. Shit, he did tell you to stay where you are. Maybe if he knew the guy was in the store he would tell you to move. You watch as he walks up to the counter, the out the range of the camera.

You sneak up to the door pressing your ear up against it. You can hear his steps. You’re holding your breath again, listening to each step, you close your eyes. Each step sounds almost deafening you’re listening so closely.

Then a phone rings. Your eyes snap open looking at Hannah.

You don’t have time to think, you don’t have time. You push yourself up to your feet rushing for the door in the room as you yank it open. Hannah is still fumbling with her phone. Shit shit shit. You don’t think you just run down the corridor hearing Hannah sobbing behind you.

There are loud shots behind you, your heart is going so fast you feel like you can't breathe. You realise maybe she should have been leading cause the next door you go through leads you back into the shopping centre. You feel sick seeing bodies with blood pooling on the floor. You don’t have time to stop grabbing Hannah's wrist as she sobs, pulling her through into the centre.

You’re looking round for an exit, your head focused on the ceiling as you hear more shots to the left of you. You slowly start to move to the right realising you’re still gripping Hannah’s wrist.

You see an open door to what looks like a service corridor. You pull her over to it. You pray this leads to the loading dock and you can get out. You go through the door at the very end it opens into a store room. It’s dark automatic lights flick on as you walk in.

That’s good it means no one is in here. You let go of Hannah’s wrist, she sits down on a box sobbing in her hands. You start making your way across the room weaving round the shelves, maybe you could just stay here, the room is big and it’s at the back off the centre. You see another door with exit above it.

You turn to call Hannah but when you do a door opens. You panic jumping over boxes tripping over goods as you hear screaming, then an explosion. You throw yourself behind a shelf the smell of smoke filling the room. You take a step forward tripping over a box. The gun flies out from the spot you hid it. You'd completely forgotten about it.

“Shit,” You cough feeling around for it while smoke fills the room. Your fingers find the cold metal and you pull yourself up. You take a look back as the other side of the store room, there’s a small fire starting you think.

You feel sick the smell of burnt flesh in the air. You’re too scared to look, you should look, you should check if she’s still alive. You know she’s not, deep down you know. You need to move that would have been loud people could be on there way over to you. You force yourself to move pushing open the door.

It’s another corridor. Maybe you should head back to the Lush store, wait for Simon. You walk through a door it leads into a room that’s clearly being renovated. You hear shouting, it makes you jump you look at the weapon in your hands. You can see the what would be storefronts are borded up. The place smells of paint and wood. There are temporary walls around the place.

You press the safety off and pull the barrel back just like you saw in the video’s you watched. It feels wrong in your hands. There’s more shouting, you’re not thinking just heading towards it. You don’t know why the voice sounds familiar, everything sounds wrong, sounds muffled in your ears the only thing you can hear is your pounding chest.

“On your fucking knees!” Someone shouts. Johnny? No way, it almost doesn’t seem real. You’re weaving round the wall’s as you see movement ahead of you. You freeze in place you see the back off a man, a terrorist. You don’t see Johnny but you hear them all shouting. There is another voice too. You bring the weapon up, its shaking in your hand, you aim for his back and fire.

The weapon goes off as you watch his body fall to the floor, you killed someone you’ve never done that before. You’re not paying attention your ears still ringing. You grip the weapon as hard as you can, it feels heavy in your hands, the metal cold like the first time you picked it up. You walk over to the man eyes locked on him as you watch the blood pooling out the mans chest. You did that. You killed him.

“Soap! Clear the room!” It’s Simon’s voice, it’s Simon’s hand on your shoulder. He pries the pistol out your hands standing in front of you. You look up at him, his scary mask all of a sudden doesn’t look that scary. His eyes are wide looking down at you, you can’t tell what he’s thinking, if he’s mad or scared. Maybe he’s happy, he doesn’t seem happy.

“I-I- didn’t-t-” You stammer as Simon holds your shoulders up, you feel tears come as your legs start to shake the smell of blood in air fills your nose. There’s a chill in the air it makes you shiver.

“You’re okay, I’ve got you you’re okay.” He wraps his arms round you, you’re not expecting it. Your pressed up uncomfortably against his vest but you don’t care. Your legs give way and you fall to the floor being guided by Simon’s arms.

“There was a bomb they killed Hannah, they found us in the lush store, I don’t know there was a fire.” You say sobbing into his chest. Your voice catching in your throat, all you can think about is the smell of burning flesh.

“Shh, it’s okay. You're safe.” You look over his shoulder tears still streaming down your face as you see the body laying still on the floor. He probably had a family, he probably had a wife and kids. You killed a father, a husband, a person. You feel sick, gripping Simon’s vest tighter.

“It’s clear.” You hear Johnny as he comes back into the room. You look over at him, you can’t tell what he’s thinking. You don’t care.

“What happened!?” You hear a voice behind you, a door closing. You’re still being pressed into Simon’s arms as you start to shiver feeling suddenly cold.

“She shot him.” Simon says.

“Shit, get her out of here. Gaz, Soap I want this place secure and no police til we’re ready.” You hear John shouting orders. Simon helps you too your feet, you look over at the man laying in a pool of blood as your legs feel like jelly and you’re forced to grip Simon’s vest.

“The weapon is it registered?” You hear John walk up behind you. You can’t bring yourself to look at him, or any of them.

“It’s mine.” Simon nods.

“Then how the hell did she get hold of it?” John says you hear him gritting his teeth as you shiver.

“I stole it.” You croak, you hear him sigh.

“Get her out of here.” John says before walking away. You hear him shouting in the distance as Simon leads you out the room.

“I’m sorry.” You say. He doesn’t say anything. The place is mostly cleared out now. You’re walking to the side of Simon with his arm round your waist. You wipe tears from your eyes as he leads you to the main exit of the shopping centre, there is a police cordon set up and you can see people looking around. His hand leaves your waist and he sits you down on a bench.

“Are you angry at me?” You ask still shivering. He sighs like he’s trying to choose his next words carefully

“What you did was incredibly dangerous.” He says, he doesn’t sound angry, his voice is low almost like he’s disappointed. It makes more tears well up in your eyes. You see an officer and paramedics come over. You don’t need them, seeing the officers makes you feel sick.

“Listen,” Simon says bending down in front of you forcing you to look in his eyes, they’re hard digging into you. Maybe he is mad, his hands grip your shoulders like he wants to shake you.

“You didn’t shoot any one okay? It’s really important you understand that.” You swallow hard nodding.

“Say it, tell me you understand.” He demands.

“I understand.” You nod as the officer makes it over to you, Simon’s hands leave your shoulder.

“She’s fine, just shock.” He says as he stands back up, his hands leaving your body make you feel sick and unsupported. Bile rises in your throat as you look up at the officer. You can’t stop it just having time to part your knees as you double over vomiting your stomach up.

You barely have time to regain your composure before you hear loud pops from back inside the shopping centre. Your head snaps in that direction as you see Simon already running back in. You feel the officer grabbing your arm trying to pull you up as you watch Simon disappear round a corner. You want to call out to him tell him to come back.

“Come with us love,” You hear one of the paramedics say as they drape a blanket over your shoulders. It distracts you reminding you how chilly you feel. The popping has stopped. You let the paramedics lead you to the back of an ambulance.

——————————

It feels like forever waiting for Simon to come back. You sit in the ambulance and get checked over while an officer interviews you about what happened. You tell him everything, well almost everything. About hiding in Lush, then running through to the store room, the explosion, then bumping into the masked man. You keep the fact he’s your boyfriend to yourself. And the fact you killed someone.

He was a terrorist, he deserved to die. Hannah didn’t deserve to die. You should have gone back and checked. You shouldn't have left her. What if she was still alive and you left her to die. Then you might has well killed her.

When the officer is done he offers you a lift home. You decline, telling him you’ll walk. Simon’s flat is just a few streets away anyway. You hop out the back of the ambulance when the paramedics give you the all clear. They give you some leaflet about mental health resources and ask if you would rather stay with a friend for the night.

You tell them you don’t live alone and they let you go as you hand the blanket back to them. You don’t want to go to the flat. You want to sit and wait for Simon, your body betrays you though forcing you to walk towards the flat. You don’t remember the walk clutching the flyer in your hand.

You make into the flat, it feels cold, empty. You take your phone out your pocket you see a missed call from Simon. You don’t want to call him back. You stand there looking at your phone not knowing what to say. You text him to say you’re at the flat then throw your phone on the sofa.

You don’t remember how you ended up on the bathroom floor dry heaving into the toilet but that’s where you are. You strip your clothes feeling like they’re sticking against your skin. You get into the shower turning the heat up and sinking to the floor pressing yourself up into the corner. You let yourself cry, sobbing as loud as you want letting the hot water sting your skin.

“Baby?” You open your eyes, the shower has been turned off and Simon is standing over you. You shiver as he turns round to grab a towel. You move going to stand up, your legs feeling stiff. He reaches down helping you to your feet, wrapping the towel round you.

“Hey, are you okay?” He asks pulling your chin up to look at him. His brow creased as he looks round your face.

“I killed a guy.” You say, you killed Hannah too.

“I know it’s okay,” he wraps his arms round you pulling you up to his chest. His hand strokes your hair. You close your eyes breathing him in, he smells of smoke.

He leads you out the bathroom to the bedroom. You sit on the end of the bed as he brings your bag over passing you your pyjamas. You take them sitting with them in your hand like getting dressed is going to take too much energy. You look up at him standing over you.

“I’m sorry,” You say. He bends down in front of you his eyes not leaving your face. His hand lands on your knee.

“You have nothing to be sorry about. Okay?” You look in his eyes you don’t know if you believe him. You just stare at him.

“I’m not angry at you no one is. You did what you had to do, you don’t get to feel guilty about that.” You nod at his words. His hand comes up to cup your cheek and he leans over kissing you. It’s a long kiss slow, one you let yourself melt into.

When he breaks away you change and crawl into bed. He gets in behind you wrapping you up in his arms. You feel his chest on your back as you stroke his arm, he plants little kisses on your head and neck. He lays there with you until you fall asleep.

——————————

Simon doesn’t sleep, at least not for a few hours. As soon as he was convinced you were sound asleep he slipped out of bed. He’s not sure what to do, he’s gone through the anger phases, the panic phases. Now he’s on self doubt.

It’s his fault you got the gun, he’s already had the bollocking from Price. He’s mad at himself for forgetting it was there, for letting you go out when they knew an attack was coming. He shouldn’t have bought you. It’s too late now, and now you’ve killed someone.

He picks up the leaflet about mental health thumbing through it. Maybe you’d be fine, maybe you’d just get on with life. When he came back after not being able to get hold of you and found you curled up asleep in the shower he knew it wasn't going to be that easy.

He sighs putting it down. Price won’t be mad at him for long in fact he’s probably already over it, Price would know what to do how to play this. Simon has no idea, PTSD isn’t really talked about much, besides when you get used to the killing it’s not a problem.

He was going to shoot him. Simon reminds himself. A second before you did he had already moved his finger to the trigger. His phone buzzes in his pocket. He moves out onto the balcony to answer it, it’s Price.

“Hey,” Simon says not knowing what to expect. It’s late he didn’t think he would hear back from him until the morning.

“Congratulations lieutenant, they want to pin medals on us all.” He says. Simon can hear the smirk in his voice.

“I don’t want any medals.” He replies.

“You and me both.” Price sighs. Simon just wants to get back to normality. Maybe this is the new normal now. Being called up anytime the government needs help. He matches Price’s sigh.

“How’s she doing?” he asks.

“I don’t know.”

“She talked yet?”

“No.” There is a silence on the line. Simon can hear Price inhaling, Simon smiles. Smoking a cigar after a job well done.

“Take her back down to London tomorrow, just be with her, try and get her to talk.” He says. Simon knows what he needs to do. He needs to figure out how broken you are. If you’re going to need therapy.

“What about debrief?”

“I’ll get MacTavish to take notes.” Simon smiles.

“Thanks cap.” He says, he’s happy, he wants to spend time with you be with you, close to you.

“Yeah well, could have gone a lot worse.” Price says, he sounds sad. It could have been a lot worse. You could have missed, killed him or Johnny. You could have been killed in the attack. Simon grips the balcony rail looking out over the city. A city that has once again been destroyed by another attack. He lets out a sigh.

“Get some rest Simon, don’t be too hard on yourself.” Simon smiles, Price knows him too well.

“Will do.” Simon says before Price hangs up. He walks back into the flat, through to the bedroom. He looks at your sleeping form curled up in the bed. He pulls his shirt off climbing into bed behind you pulling his arms back around you.

You murmurer pressing yourself up against him. He shushes you nuzzling his head into your neck, breathing you in. She’ll be alright, I’ll make sure she’s alright. He silently promises himself, closing his eyes and drifting off to sleep.

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coqxettee · 2 years ago

Text

Why I love being a girl ♡

- January 8th 2023 -

Written by Kellen-Pippa Beckett (@coqxette)

I adore being a girl. 💋

Since the beginning of the year, I’ve been literally living my mornings, afternoons and evenings on Pinterest, and as I’ve been scrolling, I’ve come across so many pretty pictures, of simple girly things that just make me so happy. Bottles of perfume, lipgloss, other pretty girls, pink clothes, bags, shoes, outfit combinations, pretty bedrooms, skincare, makeup. All kind of things I didn’t ever used to particularly romanticise and see the true beauty of up until this year. Since January I’ve not taken anything for granted, in terms of enjoying my life on this planet as a girl. There’s so many things I love to do, that I just don’t often think about. But since the beginning of 2023, I’ve been doing so many little girly tasks and activities, and I thought I’d share them with you 🎀

Girly habits to have: (@coqxette)

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ | ✧˖°. | ʚɞ ⁺˖

🎀 Take a shower every morning, using the sweetest, sugary, and most divine shower products you can

🎀 Invest in cotton candy scented soaps, scrubs, shower gel, body lotion, hand cream

🎀 Have pretty makeup products. This will motivate you to want to do your makeup on days your not feeling it

🎀 Lipgloss & Mascara are essentials. Keep them in your purse for quick top up’s throughout the day

🎀 In your purse keep genuine essentials. A tiny mirror, hairbrush, lipgloss & mascara, headphones, emergency money and tissues/hand sanitiser

🎀 Save up your money. You know that one thing you’ve wanted for ages? (Dior bag for me ) Put some money aside each month to eventually pay out for it

🎀 Devote every Sunday to a pamper day. (Or one day a week) Wash your hair, manicure, pedicure, exfoliate, moisturiser, do a face mask, hair mask The lot ✨

🎀 Get an early night for an early morning, and do one girly thing before bed. Read a beautiful story, listen to soft music or your favourite song, watch a comfort episode of your favourite show. But try not to go on a screen 45 minutes before you actually sleep

🎀 Take time out of your day to do things YOU enjoy, playing a video game, reading a book, whatever you enjoy doing. Self care is important too

🎀 If the weather is appropriate, go on daily walks. I live in the countryside in the UK, so the weather isn’t always on my side but for people that live in hot climates, don’t take your beautiful weather for granted!

🎀 Even on windy days, a compact brush goes a long way. Keep your hair healthy, maintained. Have a hair care routine, and go to the hairdressers every 1-2 months (if you can) if you want that extra pampering feeling

🎀 Thrift to find the best stuff! Designer clothes are heavenly, but nearly ALL of my clothes are thrifted! (Some thrifted things are cuter than designer) and you can find so many vintage sales! Check TK/J MAX for Juicy Couture)

🎀 Maintain a healthy diet, but never fear to compensate when it’s that time of the month 🤒 One of my favourite, (but healthy in moderation) sweet treats are dark chocolates and it can help with cramps, so it’s a win win!

🎀 Paint your nails pink. Baby pink, hot pink, dusty pink. Just… pink

🎀 Invest in some new girly stationary. Pink notepads, pink pens. Girly stationary = girly notes & girly planning

🎀 If it’s pink and girly, buy it :)

🎀 Collect pretty jewellery! Silver or gold, or pink :))

🎀 If exercise is your thing, invest in some pink gym wear

🎀 Always keep a pair of earphones/headphones/AirPods with you to listen to girly music wherever you go. The world can seem so boring without pink, bubblegum music

🎀 Bored? Go shopping. Day off? Go shopping. No friends? Go shopping. Loads of friends? Go shopping

🎀 Have a signature scent, so people always know it’s you.

🎀 Have a box in your room dedicated to hair accessories.

🎀 Make your room girly! Pink floral bedsheets, a vanity, and fairy lights are all staples

🎀 Boys are cute but don’t obsess over them. Obsess over pink instead <3

🎀 Watch girly cartoons! It’s not childish and if it makes you happy, then it’s worth it. I love ANYTHING Barbie, I watch all of her content religiously :)

🎀 Start watching Barbie life in the dream house. This sounds niche but it’s SO cute and watching Barbie being effortlessly girly will imprint in your brain, trust meeeee

🎀 Lastly, and the most important of them all. Don’t force any of this. If your a girly girl, your a girly girl and there is nothing you can do about it! But these are just habits I tend to keep up, because I enjoy doing all of them. Don’t take being girly for granted, even when your just putting your perfume or body spray on before you go out, that’s such a lovely girly act, and remember that. Orrrrr maybe I’m just queen of over romanticising everything. Either way just implant these habits day by day and you will start to see girly changes <3

All my love… your homework is to try and do ONE of these girly things today, love you always. Stay girly, stay beautiful. - Kellen 🎀🛼

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andydrysdalerogers · 10 months ago

Text

Cross-Checked - Chapter Six

Andy Barber x OFC Leighton "Leia" Andrews

Summary:

Andy Barber is having the best year of his life. His game is on point. It’s gets to play with his best friend and his fiancé just... dumped him?!.

Reeling from a sudden change in status, Andy decides it’s time to just focus on hockey. Until his best friend's sister comes out with news that rock the entire organizations world.,

Andy has always carried a torch for the untouchable Leighton but in her hour of need, is now the time to shoot and score or risk getting cross - checked again?

Warnings: Cheating (but not by the MCs); slow burn; friends to lovers eventually; SMUT!; pregnancy; jealousy; handsome goalies, evil exes...

A/N: The tag list is open!

I do NOT give permission for my work to be translated or reposted on here or any other site, even if you give me credit. DO NOT REPOST MY FICS. Reblogs, comments, likes, and feedback ALWAYS appreciated

Dividers by @firefly-graphics

Banners by me!

Previous: Chapter Five ~ Here For You ~ Leia/Andy

Series Masterlist // Main Masterlist

Chapter Six ~ A Swift Kick in the Pants ~ Andy

12 Weeks - December

For the first time in weeks, I’m not woken up to the sounds of vomiting. I blink a bit when I realize that I woke up because I could smell bacon. What an odd smell in this house. I blink again when I realize there is bacon being made in my house. I got up and threw on my shirt on and adjusted the morning wood I was sporting. I groan at how sensitive I am.

Did I relieve myself of that pressure?

No, no time.

Did I dream about a certain green-eyes brunette who happens to live in my house?

Of course not.

Am I a complete liar?

Absolutely.

I take care of my business before heading downstairs, hoping I don’t find what I think I am about to find. I make it to the kitchen, and I curse under my breath. I look up, asking God to give me the grace to get through the next few minutes. Because in my kitchen is Leia, wearing my shirt and those fucking tiny shorts again, dancing in my kitchen, making breakfast.

I ran a hand over my face before taking a deep breath and saying, “morning Princess. Someone’s feeling better.” I kiss the top of her head before reaching for the coffee.

“Andy! Yay! You’re awake!” As I sit at the breakfast bar, she slides a plate in front of me loaded with bacon, potatoes, eggs and toast. A small plate with a short stack of pancakes comes next. “We’re celebrating,” she tells me with a beaming smile.

If she keeps smiling at me like that, she could get me to do anything she wanted.

And she knows it.

“Celebrating what princess?”

“I woke up and didn’t feel nauseous. This is the first time in four weeks that this has happened. And breakfast is something I have been craving so when I woke up I knew exactly how to celebrate.” She took a seat next to me with the same all be a much smaller portions. “Cheers!” She lifts her orange juice glass and I mimic her to clink and drink.

We chatted through breakfast before I had to get ready for practice. Its November and we have a string of games at home, which I am dreading and grateful for at the same time. Grateful because worrying about Leia on the road is exhausting. Dreading because I will be aching for this girl and have no relief.

Whose bright idea was it to have her live with me again?

Right, that was my idea. I only have myself to blame.

As I drive us into the arena, Leia is going through her phone, making notes. “Whatcha doin’ Princess?”

She looks up and smiles. “Oh, I have a TikTok video I am planning out for you and the guys.”

I groan but don’t say anything. The one thing I have learned in Leia’s pregnancy is that I can’t turn down her ideas outright because then she tends to cry. And if she cries, I panic. “Should be fun,” I tell her, and she smiles bigger. Fuck, this is going to be torture.

At the arena, I head to conditioning room after I change and work on my reps. Luke walks in and takes the machine next to me. “How is she?”

This is a daily question. Luke genuinely fears his sister, especially now with her condition. “She woke up happy and hungry. I guess the nausea went away and she cooked a full on breakfast.”

“That’s great!” Luke starts working out. Soon, I can see the other guys doing their routines but everyone once in a while, one of them disappears. “Andy!” I looked up to see Leia waving me over. I grab my towel and wipe my face as I walk over.

“Sup Princess.” She rolls her eyes as I laugh.

“I need you for this TikTok.”

“Oh, come on, Princess. Do I have to?” I pretend to be a petulant five years old with the whiny shake and everything.

And then she turned the tables on me.

Her eyes get big, like doe eyes and her bottom lip juts out with the smallest of quivers. Fuck!

“No! No, don’t cry. I’m sorry. I’ll do anything just please don’t cry,” I plead.

“Is he making you cry Leia?” I hear the one voice I wish I hadn’t. Swayman. I turn to look behind me and the goalie is frowning at the scene in front of him. I gave him the perfect opening. No one to blame but myself.

Leia smiles. “No, Jeremy, I’m ok. Just the Captain here can’t handle when a girl cries.” Her fucking mischievous smile comes back, and I’ve been had. I hang my head in defeat when all of the guys start laughing. She turns on her heel and I follow like a bad puppy, flipping off my teammates as I leave the area.

“You are a cruel, cruel woman,” I mutter as we get in the area where she is shooting her video.

“You love me, get over it Cap.” If she only knew. She practically danced as we made it over to a setup of Christmas decorations. “Now, take a seat and we are going to record a greeting to the fans.”

I sat. “Do I have a script or just whatever comes to my mind?”

“Just blurt out whatever comes to mind.” Leia smiled and I got lost in it for a moment. I refocused on the camera. “Happy Holidays from your captain and the rest of... Holy Shit!” I jumped and fell to the side of the tree as the prop bear popped up and lunged for me. My ass smarted for landing on what I think is a toy train. I fell back, trying to catch my breath as Leia and the bear began to laugh hysterically.

“Oh my god... that was the best reaction yet!” Leia is bent over, trying to catch her own breath.

“You suck Andrews,” I say as I try to get up. “Who is under here?” I pulled the bear head off to find one of my defensemen, Baker, still laughing. “You son of a bitch! No wonder this is happening so far away from the locker room.”

“Yep,” Leia pops. "Keep a straight face, Barber. Luke and the goalies still have to go through this. Oh my god, imagine Linus tries to punch you,” pointing at Baker. He goes pale at the idea.

“Please let me come watch that,” I beg. “Linus loves a good prank, but he is hardly the one to receive it. Time for a little payback.” I rub my hands together.

“If you could send me Luke with a straight face, deal.” She sticks her hand out and I shake it.

“They’re cold Princess,” I frown as I hold on.

“I’m fine Andy.” Her eyes moved to a member of her staff and Baker. I know that look. Its because she hadn’t told the team yet. And she knew what he was going to say. “I have a meeting with them on Monday.”

“Ok, I’ll send Luke in.” I ruffled her hair, to which she tried to bite me. “Watch it, Cubby.” I ran as she tried to smack me, chuckling. I grabbed Luke and then headed for the showers. After I dressed, I grabbed the mittens I kept in my locker for Leia, because she always forgot hers. As I walked back, I heard a yell and smiled. She got another one. I rounded the corner and saw her laughing as she helped someone up.

I stopped as my heart dropped. Jeremy was holding Leia’s hand. I watched as he reached into his bag and pulled out a small object. He undid them and it was gloves. He took one hand and slipped it over it. He repeated the motion and then pressed them together between his and he rubbed them. Her smile was soft and shy. When he was done, she reached up and pressed a kiss on his cheek.

I turned and walked away.

I was on my third beer, watching God knows what as I burrowed deeper into my feelings. I didn’t have a right to feeling like this. If I was stronger, braver, then maybe I could tell Luke how I’m feeling and ask Leia out. My thoughts just kept spinning.

“Hey!” I looked up to see Leia bent over the couch, smiling at me. “Whatcha doing?”

“Sitting.” I watched as she frowned. I looked away from her. I couldn’t watch her getting upset. “How are you feeling?”

She came around and sat down, pulling off the gloves that Jeremy had given her. “I’m good. How was the rest of your day?”

“It was fine. Had a meeting with my agent and then chilled here.” I took another swig. “Was gonna order something.”

“Oh, can we have pizza?” I watched her eyes light up. “I have been craving the garlic knots from Tony’s.” She kicked off her shoes and put her feet in my lap, like we’ve always done.

“Sure, Princess.” I placed the order and then looked at her again. Maybe I took the Swayman thing the wrong way. Maybe he was just being a friend. The thought calmed me, and I was able to enjoy the evening with Leia. The Tampa Bay game came on. We watched as Craig took a shot into the boards.

“Have you heard from him?” Leia chewed her thumbnail. “I mean, after that one day.”

I shook my head. “No. He said bye to the team as a group but he didn’t call or anything. I’m not sure if I would have answered.” I took another pull of my fifth beer. I knew I needed to stop, if anything, just because if Leia needed me, I needed to be sober. Pizza came and we ate commenting about the show before we fell back into silence, watching the movie. Then Leia spoke again.

“So, Jeremy asked me out.”

Why does she do that? Why does she insist on dropping bombs on me when I am not ready? How about “hey Andy, something shocking happened today” instead of just dropping the news. This one caused me to choke on my beer. “What?”

“Jeremy Swayman asked me out on a date. Which is weird because at first, he was flirting with me on the plane and then he ignored me. Then he flirted again but as he was putting gloves on me, he asked me to dinner.” She said this one breath ladies and gentlemen. I would be hella impressed except there is only one thing on my mind.

She’s going on a date with Jeremy.

“Oh, wow. Are you going to go?” I fake interest because that’s what a best friend does. A good best friend. Not the “I’m in love with you” best friend.

“I think so. He’s nice and cute. But its weird, you know, because I’m pregnant and I haven’t told anyone about it yet.” She goes back to chewing her thumbnail. “What do you think?”

This is my chance. I could blow Jeremy Swayman up and get the girl. But then she could resent me and tell me to fuck off. I still remembered what he said in the locker room. But I had already promised. Why did I do that? Why did I make that promise to Swayman? I promised I wouldn’t stand in his way because she’s not mine. I sigh. “If you want to, go out with him. Maybe you won’t have chemistry and it's the end of that. Or maybe you have a spark, and you can tell him about the baby. Either way, it's up to you.”

She smiles. “Thanks Andy.” She turns back to the movie.

My chest hurts. “You know, I’m gonna head to bed. Early practice tomorrow and I want to get a swim in.” I get up and kiss the top of her head. “Good night Princess.”

“Night, Chewy!”

I walk up the stairs, get to my room and close the door. I sit on the edge of my bed and I feel numb. I just encouraged the woman that I am completely in love with to date someone else. I’ve officially became the dumbest man in Boston. I flopped back.

Kill me now.

Taglist:

@patzammit

@texmexdarling

@slutforchrisjamalevans

@firephotogrl74

@tinkerbelle67

@before-we-get-started

@bunnyforhim

@alexakeyloveloki

@sunnyhummingbee

@whiskeytangofoxtrot555

@peaceinourtime82

@saucy-sassy-sparkly

@kmc1989

@lokislady82

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imtrashbutcute · 1 year ago

Note

I have a request... 🥺

sooo y/n wins a fancall with seonghwa and jokingly gives him their number, but hwa actually messages them later 👀 please make it smutty if possible 🩷 thank you for your hard work 🙆🏻‍♀️

AAAAAAAAA thank you so much for this request!! I had a lot of fun writing this and I hope you enjoy reading

Need some help with that?

Pairing: Park Seonghwa (ATEEZ) x reader

Genre: smut with a little fluff

Warnings: MDNI, swearing, mentions of phone sex, mentions of using sex toys, oral sex (male receiving and implied female receiving), public sex (kind of?? it's in a practice room)

Word count: 3436

Who knew that such an embarrassing moment would lead to something like this?

After double-checking the audio on your computer and ensuring that your camera was set up correctly, you let out a shaky sigh. You were practically restless since you got the email that you won a slot for the upcoming ATEEZ fansign. You had been a fan of theirs since they debuted and had supported them through all the crazy moments they’d gone through.

A sound came from your computer, letting you know that your video call with the members was going to start in just a couple of minutes. Nervously, you wiped your hands on your skirt. These eight men had been an anchor for you during some of your hardest moments in life and now you were about to meet them. Words couldn’t even express the gratitude and respect you had for them.

You saw your screen change from the waiting screen to the loading screen before Mingi popped up. Seeing his wide grin eased some of your anxiety as the two of you chatted back and forth for a couple minutes. It felt so natural talking to him, almost like you two had been friends for years. He thanked you as you moved on to the next member.

***

You were about ready to crawl into a ball and disappear into the void, never to see the light of day again. You were for sure going to be banned from ever entering a fansign again, perhaps even from attending a concert.

Out of complete nervousness, you, for some reason, blurted out your phone number to Seonghwa. You were sure he thought you were utterly delusional and you made him uncomfortable. He kept looking away as you told him it. So clearly, he was uncomfortable. You weren’t entirely sure what had possessed you to do it. It just spilled out.

After the call had ended, you ended up texting your friends about it since they were eagerly waiting to hear how it went. You didn’t want to tell them, though. It was incredibly embarrassing and you were ready to take it to your grave. However, knowing these friends, they’d probably be more impressed than anything. Sending them a quick text, you plug your phone into its charger before curling up under your blankets and trying to sleep your embarrassment away.

***

“Hyung, are you sure this is a good idea? I mean, you only met her for a few minutes. And what if it’s not even her number?”

Seonghwa had put (y/n)’s number in his phone as soon as the last fancall ended and was now staring at the text box as he tried to think of a message to send. He didn’t know why, but he was actually a little hopeful about texting her. Maybe it was because it seemed like she didn’t intentionally tell him it but like it happened more out of nerves.

“I’ll be careful.”

Jongho sighed as he pulled out his own phone. “If the company finds out, they’re not going to be happy about this.”

“Well,” Seonghwa hummed, “I don’t plan on telling any of them. Do you?”

Jongho shook his head.

“Just make sure it’s actually her before you get invested.”

***

After what felt like 30 minutes, you were startled awake from your stress nap by your text ringtone. It was dark outside, indicating that you had been asleep for a few hours. You feel around for your phone before your hand lands on it. Turning it on, you have to squint as the light blinds you. You notice the 100+ messages from your friends.

“I’ll respond to them in a bit” you mutter as you glance up to see a message from an unknown number. ‘No way. I have to still be dreaming.’

[Unknown number]: Hey, I hope that this is actually your number and not a prank.

You scramble to sit up in your bed. “What the fuck? Holy shit, there’s no way this is actually happening right now.” Your hands were shaking as you tried to type out a response but your thumbs keep missing the keys you want to hit.

[Unknown number]: This is (y/n) from the fansign event, right?

[y/n]: Hi, yeah, this is the right number. Sorry, I’m just a little surprised you’re actually messaging me.

While yes, you may have spontaneously blurted out your phone number to him, you knew you weren’t delusional enough to think he would actually message you. There was no way your friends would believe you if you told them you were texting THE Park Seonghwa of ATEEZ. As fellow K-pop fans, they knew how strict companies typically were when it came to using their phones and having contact with someone outside of their team or their family.

[Park Seonghwa]: I understand. I will say, that took some guts for you to give me your phone number.

[y/n]: haha yeah, I’ll admit, it was kind of a spur-of-the-moment idea.

[Park Seonghwa]: well, it’s nice to meet you in a little less official way.

[y/n]: it’s nice to meet you as well!

After chatting a bit more to get to know each other, the two of you parted ways for the night. Deciding to respond tomorrow to your friends, you placed your phone on the table next to your bed and promptly fell asleep, albeit in a much better mood this time.

***

It had been a few months since the two of you had started dating and almost a year since you became friends. If you were being honest, you wouldn’t have traded it for the world. Seonghwa was the kindest and most supportive boyfriend you could’ve asked for. There were times when you felt like you couldn’t even reach his level, but he always managed to ease those fears, making you feel like the most beautiful, amazing girlfriend in the world.

After a month or so of your friendship with him, he finally introduced you to his members. They had been incredibly supportive and welcoming which had meant the world to you. The nine of you had quickly become close friends.

It was maybe four months after that when you realized you may have actually had feelings for Seonghwa. Sure, you had always found him attractive. It was kind of hard not to. However, this was past the point of just admiring his looks. Getting to know him made something awaken in you and it only got worse when you two started dating. The more you talked, the more you wanted to fuck him.

And it seemed as though Seonghwa felt the same way.

[Pretty boy💖✨]: Jagiya, please? We haven’t been able to call for two weeks 😭

[Pretty boy💖✨]: Please, I’m so fucking pent up, I need you so bad

[Pretty boy💖✨]: Even if it’s only through a screen

[Y/n]: I’m really sorry, baby, I’ve just been so busy lately with work and family issues and I’m probably going to be busy the next couple of days too 😭

[Y/n]: I miss you too, though 🥺

[Y/n]: I miss the way you tell me where to move my toys (and how to use them) as if it’s you moving them around my body. I miss the way your breaths get heavier the closer you get and the way your hand moves quicker when you know that I’m also close so we can finish together. I miss seeing your face scrunch as I tell you how to touch yourself, especially as your thumb grazes your tip and I see you shudder from it

[Pretty boy💖✨]: Fuck, you’re going to be the death of me, Jagiya

You smirk a little as you close your phone when you notice the luggage claim begins rotating around and you quickly notice your suitcase. As you reach for it, you feel your phone vibrate again in your pocket. You start wheeling it towards the main doors where Seonghwa’s manager was waiting.

A month or so ago, his manager had caught him texting you, and after a very lengthy discussion, the company decided that so long as you weren’t distracting Seonghwa from his practices and promotions, they’d allow the two of you to continue your relationship. You tried to take every precaution you could as you planned the surprise visit. You had been more distracted the past couple of weeks as you prepared, and you couldn’t help but feel bad for Seonghwa. At the same time, however, you knew that all the planning and communicating between you, the rest of the members, and their manager would all be worth it.

“They should all be doing individual activities right now. The boys will know what Seonghwa’s working on. I’ll let them know when we’re close to the company so one of them can guide you to wherever he is.”

You thanked him and buckled yourself into your seat before pulling your phone out, seeing several messages from Seonghwa ranging from him begging for just a few minutes on a phone call to him telling you just how badly he needed you.

[Y/n]: Aww I’ll help you out soon enough, okay? Just wait a little bit longer for me.

[Y/n]: Until then, would you like a few pictures? Just to help tide you over until we can call next?

You saw as your message went from delivered to read before the bubble popped up indicating that Seonghwa was typing.

[Pretty boy💖✨]: please…

[Y/n]: alright, give me a few minutes to take some

You tried to hide your smirk as you opened your photo album to find some of the more recent pictures you had taken a few nights before you left. They didn’t show anything, but you were clearly in just your lingerie or were wearing something with nothing else underneath. You posed yourself in ways that you knew would get to him quickly.

You may not have been dating for a long time yet, but you knew how to get Seonghwa going.

“Alright, we’re almost here. Do you want to text one of them, or do you want me to?”

“Huh? Oh! I can text one of them. Probably Hongjoong.”

Their manager nodded as he continued driving back to the company’s building.

[Y/n]: Hey, Joong, I’m almost there. Wanna meet us at the elevators coming from the parking garage?

[Mullet man]: Sounds great! He stayed back to keep working on the choreography for our upcoming comeback so I’ll take you there when you get here.

[Y/n]: Thank you, mullet man

[Mullet man]:... what did you just call me

***

“He’s just in that last door at the end of the hallway.” Hongjoong gestured down the hall. “I have to get back to my own schedule so I’ll let you find him.”

“Thank you. I really appreciate it.”

Hongjoong smiled and nodded at you before he turned and made his way back to his studio. You started walking down the hallway, following the sound of music coming from the last door. However, it seemed as though the lights were off.

‘Did he leave and forget to turn the music off?’

You opened the door and peeked your head in before glancing around. Not seeing anything immediately, you were about to turn around and leave when you heard a moan. You knew the song that was playing and knew that there wasn’t a moan in any part of the song. You turned to face the direction the moan came from and noticed your boyfriend seated on the floor and leaning against a wall. His sweatpants were pushed halfway down his thighs as he moved his hand up and down the length of his dick.

Your gaze moved to notice his face. The way his blush spread across his face, the glazed look in his eyes as he watched himself in the mirrors across from them. The way he threw his head back whilst biting his lip as he hoped to keep back another moan. You could tell he was close when his breathing got more and more erratic.

“Looks like you could use some help with that.”

“Oh shit!” Seonghwa, in a panic, tried to grab whatever was closest to him to cover himself up as he heard you. It wasn’t anything you hadn’t seen before, but it was still kind of cute the way he tried to cover himself up.

Unfortunately, in his panic, he ended up hitting his head on the wall next to him. Groaning in pain, he held his hand to his head, using the other to cover his still-obvious erection.

“Oh, Seonghwa! Baby, are you okay?” You rush over to him, straddling his legs as you reach up to feel the spot where he hit his head. You move his hand, hoping to see how bad it might be. Thankfully, there wasn’t anything there, so you brought your lips up and placed a small kiss on the spot that he hit.

“(Y/n)? You’re here?” Seonghwa’s voice was barely above a whisper as he looked up at you.

“I am.” You place a quick kiss on both of his cheeks. “Are you okay?”

Seonghwa nodded before looking down between the two of you. “Can… can you help me with this?” He gestured between the two of you and you immediately caught on to what he meant.

“Well,” you pulled Seonghwa into a deep kiss before pulling away. “I did offer, didn’t I?”

You immediately noticed the returning blush before Seonghwa placed his hand on the back of your neck and pulled you back into the kiss. You placed your hands on Seonghwa’s chest, humming into the kiss as his other hand trailed along your thighs. Pulling away, Seonghwa lets out a whine.

“Shhh it’s okay. I just can’t do as good of a job if it’s covered with fabric.”

Using your hands, you push against Seonghwa’s chest, lifting yourself off Seonghwa’s lap, and begin to shimmy his pants further down his legs. Untying his shoelaces and pulling his shoes off his feet, you’re finally able to fully pull his sweatpants down. You crawl your way back up and give Seonghwa another kiss before grabbing the bottom of his shirt and pulling it over his head.

Trailing kisses down along his chest, you make your way all the way down to his dick. You place a light kiss just on the tip and glance up as you hear Seonghwa suck in a deep breath. He looks down at you with hooded eyes and cups your cheek. You lean into it a bit before pulling away and begin to place kisses all around his thighs, getting dangerously close to his erection a couple of times.

“P-please…” Seonghwa panted as his hands slipped into your hair.

“Please what?” you hummed and looked up at him from your position between his legs. “C’mon, use your words baby.”

“Please stop teasing me.”

“Alright,” you nodded. Moving into a sitting position, you cup Seonghwa’s face so he’d look at you. “But, you can’t touch me, can’t hold my hair, you have to just sit there like a good boy until I think you’re ready to cum. If you do,” you leaned forward and gave him a small kiss on his lips. “I’ll have to start over. Do you understand?”

Seonghwa bit his lip as he nodded, clearly desperate for your touch.

“No, use your words. Do you understand?”

“Yes, I understand. Fuck. Please just touch me already.”

Smirking, you lower yourself again and place a couple kisses along his dick, your last one at the very tip, before taking it as far as you could in your mouth. You started slow, allowing yourself time to adjust and find a more comfortable position on the ground. You could hear Seonghwa’s breathing pick up the more you moved. Seonghwa’s dick was an average size, not too long, not too thick. Frankly, it was just the perfect size for you.

You hadn’t ever given a blowjob to another person before, so the sensation was certainly a new one. When the tip hit the back of your throat, you gagged a bit, causing your mouth to close slightly and you heard Seonghwa hiss from the sensation of your teeth touching his dick. You pull off and look at him, taking note of the way his eyes were glazed over as he looked back at you.

“You okay?”

“Yeah,” Seonghwa hummed. “Fuck you feel so good.”

You giggle a bit before leaning back down and taking him into your mouth again. Seonghwa lets out a loud moan and quickly tries to cover his mouth but you can still hear all of his little whimpering. All of a sudden, you feel Seonghwa’s available hand tangle into your hair, causing you to pull off. Seonghwa lets out a whine in protest before he notices your expression.

“You touched.”

“I’m sorry. I won’t do it again.” Seonghwa was close to tears at this point. “Please, keep going. You feel so fucking good.”

You move to kiss him again, holding onto his chin as you pull him in. “Since you asked so nicely, I won’t keep you waiting any longer.” With that, you slid between his legs again and began slowly bobbing your head up and down his dick. You felt the way Seonghwa’s thighs tensed the further you moved down his dick, the way his body shuddered as you hummed, and the way his breathing became more erratic as you picked up your pace.

You were thankful for the music still playing in the practice room because you were certain that without it, the noises Seonghwa was making would’ve been much more audible. He kept trying to muffle his whimpers, but you knew he was close and it made you pick up your pace a bit.

Seonghwa threw his head back, a loud moan escaping his lips. His hands were clenched at his sides, desperate to touch you, to guide you. He knew better, though. You knew he knew better.

“Mmmmn wait. I-I’m close. Please.”

Hearing him, you started going even faster. Your hands were gripping Seonghwas thighs. You were sure that your nails were going to leave marks. The tip of his dick kept hitting the back of your throat and your vision started to blur from the tears. Seonghwa started wiggling his hips, trying to move deeper, but he quickly stopped when your grip tightened on his thighs.

“Fuck, jagiya, you feel so good. Nnnnnnnn- I’m gonna cum. Fuck.”

You hummed again, sending vibrations down his dick. Seonghwa brought a hand up to his mouth in an attempt to muffle his moans. Sliding one of your hands up his chest, you start squeezing his chest, occasionally taking his nipple in between your fingers.

“I-I’m so close. Please, let me- let me cum. Please.”

You barely pull away, a strand of saliva connecting his dick to your mouth. “Cum for me, baby” you panted and took him back into your mouth. Seonghwa’s moans were high-pitched and desperate. You felt his hand grab onto your hand that was on his chest, almost as a way for him to stay a little grounded with you. Sure, it broke the “no touching” rule, but at this point, you couldn’t give two shits. You prepared yourself and not a moment too soon because the next second, you felt Seonghwa release into your mouth. You paused for a moment, letting him finish before you started moving again, milking the rest of his cum out of him. Seonghwa whimpered at this and pulled your head off.

You stared into his eyes seeing nothing but love and adoration for you. He pulled you in for a deep kiss and he could taste the cum still lingering in your mouth. Using his thumbs, he caressed your cheeks and you felt yourself melt into his touch.

“Hi,” you giggled as you pulled away, your foreheads against each other.

“Hi,” Seonghwa’s voice was soft as he stared at you. “Hell of a first meeting, huh?”

“Mmmmmm, I’d say it’s the perfect first meeting.”

Seonghwa chuckled at this, his hands moving from your cheeks to the waistband of your pants. “I think there’s just one thing that would make it even more perfect.”

Confused, you pull away, looking him in the eyes. Seonghwa stood, pulling you to your feet as well. You still weren’t quite sure of what he was talking about until his hands started pulling at the hem.

Oh.

Seonghwa made quick work of your shirt before dropping to his knees and pulling your pants down. He helped you step out of them before he turned his eyes to you.

“I have to return the favor somehow.”

#kwritersworldnet #ateez #park seonghwa #park seonghwa x reader #park seonghwa x y/n #ateez smut #ateez x reader scenario #ateez seonghwa

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lucy90712 · 2 years ago

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Insecure- Pablo Gavi

A/n: hey all this if my first Gavi fic if you have any requests for him or Pedri feel free to send them to me

Wc: 1600 There is no way to escape the news it's every Instagram, Twitter, the actual news and even texts from my friends. No one will let me forget about the fact that literal the princess of Spain has a crush on my boyfriend. I'm used to people having a crush on Gavi because I mean look at him but usually it's just random people not the princess of Spain. I have tried my hardest to not let it bother me as I know Pablo will think I'm being stupid but it's so hard when everyone is talking about how the two of them could end up dating and what that would mean for his football career and whatever else.

I had managed to sort my head out and convince myself that if Pablo didn't love me he would have broken up with me but when I woke up today to find out that the king had been to visit the squad and gotten Pablo to sign a shirt for his daughter all my worries came back. The more videos that came out the more insecure I felt as he had such a big smile on his face signing the shirt and taking a photo with the king. All of this isn't helped by the fact that he's in Qatar while I'm still back home in Barcelona as we don't get to talk as often because of the time difference and our schedules. Not getting much time to talk means I never bring up my worries as I don't want to waste the time we get to call on what is definitely me being stupid.

Despite all of this I'm still excited as I'm actually going out to Qatar to watch the next game which Pablo doesn't know about so I get to surprise him after the game. We haven't seen each other in ages as of course he's been at the World Cup and even before that we were both so busy we didn't get to see each other so it's probably been about a month since I've seen him in person. The only person that knows I'm coming is Pedri as I told him so that he could help me organise everything as I have no idea where the best place to stay is and I know you can't get tickets so last minute but he helped me with all of that. Having to hide my plans has been difficult as all I want to do is tell Pablo that I will be there especially when he says he wants me to see him play but I've stopped myself from telling him as I hope he'll like the surprise.

There was a a lot of delays on my flight as the plane was late to board so then we arrived into Qatar late and then it took ages to get my bags so my schedule has been thrown out the window as I need to drop my bags at the hotel and head straight to the stadium to make it for the start of the game. Of course there is a whole load of traffic but luckily once I made it to the hotel I could walk to the stadium so I grabbed my bag and sprinted to the stadium and just about made it before kickoff. There was no time to catch my breath as the match had started and it was already pretty tense as this game determines whether the team make it out of the group stages.

It was very tense the entire game as at times they were going out and others they were top of the group and then they were second. The guys were trying so hard to score another goal but Japan were playing really well and just not letting it happen. Pablo was subbed at 68 minutes which I could tell he wasn't too happy about but he still sat and watched the team for the rest of the game. The match ended 2-1 to Japan but the boys made it through 2nd in the group which means they will be facing Morocco in the next round which I think will be a hard game as they have been playing incredibly well but I know they will put up a fight.

After the match finished I left my seat and went with all the other family of the players to go and meet them outside the changing room. Up until I was stood waiting to see Pablo I was excited but standing there I got nervous because what if he doesn't want to see me? What if he has thought about our relationship while we've been apart and thinks he'd be better off with someone like the princess. So many thoughts were swirling around my brain that I didn't even notice Pedri come out and walk over to me until he tapped my shoulder which got my attention.

"Hey are you ok?" He asked

"Yeah I'm fine just nervous" I replied

"Ok well he'll be out in a minute I'll see you both later" he said giving me a hug and then walked away

Once again I was on my own just waiting which made all the thoughts come right even though it was just a few minutes I got myself so worried that my hands were all sweaty but also shaking with nerves. This time I was paying attention so when Pablo came out the door I locked eyes with him and tried my best to give him a smile. He came over right away and gave me a quick hug before linking our hands together and dragging me out of the stadium. I thought seeing him would make me feel less insecure but after that reaction I honestly feel worse. To me it just seemed like he didn't want me to be there and he didn't want anyone to see me there as normally after a game we will stand together for a bit before we leave but this time he just dragged me straight out. It also hurt as when he came out the dressing room he was smiling but when he saw me his smile seemed to disappear which almost made me cry but I held it together just about.

We made it back to the hotel and went up to the room together where I hoped he might actually seem excited to see me but no he just sat on the bed and went on his phone. I crawled on the bed next to him and rested my head on his shoulder to see that he was on Instagram looking at edits people had made of him and the princess together. That was the last straw for me and the tears started to fall rapidly down my face so I got up and shut myself in the bathroom where I just let all my pent up emotion go until I was sobbing. I tried to my best to be quiet but Pablo must have heard me as I heard him knock on the bathroom door before it opened as I didn't lock it. As soon as we looked at each other he came and sat on the floor next to me and pulled me into his lap. He tried to wipe the tears from my face but they just kept falling so he tried gently rubbing my back to calm me down.

"What's wrong mi amor?" He asked

"Do you still love me?" I asked back instead of answering

"Of course I do so much what makes you think I don't?" He questioned

"Well you didn't seem too happy to see me back at the stadium and when we got here you were looking at edits of you and the princess if you would rather be with her I'd understand but just tell me now" I said

"Oh sweetheart I'm sorry I didn't meant to give you the wrong impression I don't want to be with anyone other than you I promise" he said

"Then why did you act like you wished I wasn't here?" I asked

"I didn't mean to love I'm sorry I was just upset about the match and I wasn't expecting to see you I should have acted differently so I'm sorry but I'm very happy you're here" he said

We talked things through a bit more and he made me feel a lot better about my insecurity without making me feel stupid which I was worried about. Communication is all we needed but it was the one thing we weren't doing so when we actually talked about everything going on in our heads it made everything so much better. I promised to tell him when if I was feeling insecure and he promised to not let games interfere with our relationship which I think will help us in the future.

He said he wanted to make it up to me so he picked me up and carried me to the bed where he attacked me with kisses all over my face until I was laughing and smiling. When he'd cheered me up he turned the tv on and we watched a film together while cuddling. We also ordered room service most of which I ate as Pablo has a diet he is supposed to follow but I did make him eat a few things and promised not to tell anyone. We stayed up longer than we probably should of but eventually we fell asleep cuddling and much happier than we were a few hours ago.

#pablo gavi imagine #pablo gavi imagines #gavi imagine #gavi imagines #gavi oneshots #pablo gavi oneshots

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slowlyhardgoatee · 2 years ago

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Tim, I think it’s time we had a chat.

Listen, son, you can’t have failed to notice that your mum and I are going through a bit of a rough patch. When I met you guys three years ago, I knew your mum had had it hard - single mother, raising a boy on her own, all that. And I liked you, Tim. I do like you. Do you like me? Good. Good.

Look, you’re eighteen now, and old enough to know the truth. And I wanted to wait until this weekend, when your mum was away on business, so we could have a good talk about it all. See, the truth is, we’ve been in a rough patch for a while. We haven’t even slept in the same room for just over a year. And, well, then there’s you.

See, I know your secret, Tim. I know all about the false wood panel in your wardrobe floor, and I’ve seen the porn you’ve hidden beneath it - big, hairy men with bulging crotches. Oh yeah. And I know what else you’ve got hidden in there. What - you didn’t think I’d miss a pair of my underwear? Hehehe. I notice it was a dirty, used pair out of the laundry basket, too. Covered in the stink of my sweaty arse and crotch, and with a couple of loads of my cum in them, and all. I’ll give you three guesses who I was thinking about when I blew those loads, boy, and it certainly wasn’t your mum.

But I did notice some teeth marks on them, as well. Have you been sniffing and sucking on my used undies when you’re jerking yourself off, boy? You have, ain’t’cha? Dirty faggot boy, I fucking knew it.

Well, how’d you like to taste the real thing, eh?

Yeah, that’s your stepdad’s big dick, boy. I think you’d better get it in your fucking mouth where it belongs. Good lad. All the way down.

Now, I’m gonna record this on my phone, boy, and I think I’m gonna send it to your mum. Keep sucking, and don’t interrupt.

Mandy, give yourself a second to really look at this video. That’s your only son there, deep-throating his stepdad’s cock like the antidote’s in my balls. And his mouth is sweeter than your pussy by far. Also, just for good measure - keep sucking, boy - it’s nearly 3 on a Saturday afternoon. And you know what happens at 3 on Saturdays, don’t you Mandy? Yeah, ten of my mates come over for a barbecue and some beers by the pool out back. But I think this week, instead of the barbecue we’re gonna take your faggot son into your bedroom and pass him around until we break the fucking bed. Then when we’ve finished cumming in your son, I’m gonna let every single one of my mates spunk all over your sheets and wipe their cocks clean on your pillow.

Don’t bother responding to this, Mandy. As soon as I hit Send, I’m turning it off and throwing mine and Tim’s phones in the pool. Then we’re out of here as of tomorrow afternoon. You’ll never see either of us again. I don’t know quite what to do with Tim yet - whether to have him working every street corner in the city as a prostitute, or keep him as my full-time slave boy. Either way, I’ll be letting fat old men cum up his arse every day without fail.

Y’know what I always liked about you, Mandy? You were a sure thing. You were easy. A slut, really. You’d have your knickers down for the first bloke you saw. And Tim’s just the same. Isn’t that right, boy? Yeah, keep gagging on that cock, faggot. And now I’m -

Careful, boy, you’re going the right way to have me cumming down the back of your throat any second, you keep sucking me like that. Haha - is that what you want, boy? Eh? Your stepdad spunking all over your fucking tonsils while your mum watches? Dirty fucking faggot. Well here it comes, boy, hold still. Here it fuuuuucking comes, you cunt. Yeeeeahhh, didn’t spill a fucking drop, did ya, boy? Good lad. Open wide, let me and your mum see your empty mouth after you’ve swallowed my cream. Good boy. And there you have it. Mandy. Tim’s a cocksucking little slut, just like his mother.

Well, I’m gonna go now. My mates will be here any minute, and then we need to decide who gets to take Tim’s virginity - y’know, before the rest of us spend all weekend gang-raping him in your bed. Bye.

That’s it sent, boy - and there goes the doorbell. Run outside and throw both phones in the pool. Then come back in the house, go into your mum’s bedroom and get on your fucking back. I wasn’t joking about breaking the fucking bed, boy. We’ll be raping both your holes pretty much constantly for the next twelve hours at least. Obviously no condoms or lube, and I think I’m gonna let Steve - he’ll be the fattest, oldest bloke in the room - break you in first and take your virginity. Oh - and for the rest of the weekend, as far as you’re concerned my name is Daddy and everyone else is called Sir. That is, if we allow you to speak for the few seconds an hour that you don’t have a cock in your fucking mouth. And if we do allow you to speak, it’ll only be to beg for more cock. I can’t wait to watch Steve split your cunt in two with his fat baseball bat of a dick and then make you lick your own cherry off it. Get comfy in that bed, faggot, because you ain’t going anywhere for a good long time.

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itsclydebitches · 2 years ago

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RWBY Recaps: Volume 9 "A Place of Particular Concern"

Happy start of a new Volume, everyone! 🎉

Shaving off a little more than a month, it’s been two years since I was writing a RWBY Recap. Is that long enough to count as nostalgic? Definitely long enough to inspire a minor existential crisis on the passage of time, so how about we just collectively pretend it’s still 2013, yeah?

Of course, that would mean we were watching RWBY on YouTube and RT’s website, not... Crunchyroll. Listen, I’ll be real with you all and admit I know incredibly little about the site’s sketchy history which, from what I’ve gleaned lately, has led to a number of RWBY fans boycotting its use. Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum. However, I noted the two week free trial and decided to give that a go first, if only to make my life a little easier for the premiere. I’d planned to either shell out the 24-ish dollars necessary to watch the other eight episodes - which, honestly, isn’t much in the grand scheme of things, especially if we factor in my Starbucks addiction... - or don my parrot and eye-patch once I hit that two week mark.

So there was a plan!

This plan was a mistake.

I’m going to go out on a limb here and guess that writing, “Wow, Crunchyroll’s website doesn’t work very well, does it?” maybe isn’t news to anyone else? I read that the new episode was supposed to drop at 9:30am. I then tried unsuccessfully to get it to load through 4:00pm. During this, while trying various avenues in the hopes of getting this video started, I noticed a Google link with a four hour timestamp, which would have put the release at around 11:00 my time, closer to what we’re used to.

Regardless of when it actually dropped, I was finally able to start watching at around 4:00pm. By which I mean I watched the first 17 seconds of the episode. Then it froze. I made it to the minute mark using a different browser. Then it froze again. I let things sit for a while and finally restarted my original vid, completing the episode without any additional problems, but by then I was more than a little frustrated.

Was it my internet? Crunchyroll? The will of the RWBY gods who don’t want me critiquing the hell out of this episode? Who can say, but I think I’ll be hoisting the flag sooner than intended.

“This is the story of a girl who had a lot of problems.”

If you’re thinking that this line sounds at all familiar, it’s because we’ve heard it before. Actually, the entirety of the first seven minutes is made up of our promo clips which, in a fourteen minute episode without opening and credits, is a lot. RWBY has been gone (in its canon state, anyway) for two years. I can’t speak for anyone else, but my impression of the Ruby PoV clip was that it was purely promotional material, not the start of our far-off Volume. So it was more than a little disappointing to finally get my hands on new content only to realize that half of it wasn’t new at all. We’d already seen it, discussed it, dissected it weeks, or even months ago. Combined with how much of our starter material was in our trailer (two emotional shots of Ruby I’ll be unpacking later) and how much the fandom was able to easily infer (Weiss and Blake are captured while trying to retrieve her weapon) it almost didn’t feel like a RWBY premiere at all. There is, almost literally, nothing new for the fandom to sink their teeth into. We knew they were in this Ever After place, we knew the basic plot of the first couple of episodes, we’ve seen glimpses of all the side characters... I’d actually argue that there’s more to analyze in the opening than the totality of our first episode.

Not that that's going to stop me from writing a shit ton about it, you know ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

None of which bodes well and, frankly, this episode is enough of a mess that I can’t even take solace in RT executing the repetition well. Thus, I’m going to move fairly quickly (for me lol) through the first half of the episode, if only because I’ve already given my thoughts on it in other posts. So to recap within the recap:

Yang’s fall into the void and the ways in which this moment differs from the original animation is still a sore spot for me, especially given how the characters react (or rather, don’t) to finding her alive. While I commend RT for trying something different by giving us Ruby’s PoV, Lindsay’s acting grates here and the constant whimpers/gasps just highlight how much Ruby didn’t emote in the original version of the scene. Likewise, the halo of white around Ruby’s vision prior to falling proves that the writers were very aware of her silver eyes in that moment, yet inexplicably decided not to use them. As we’re seeing more and more lately, characters loose all their powers and strategic thinking the moment something needs to happen for the plot. Why craft a legitimate failure for the heroes when you could simply have them forget that their longest-running villain is in the city with them, or have Yang repeat a major mistake she’s supposedly outgrown, or have Ruby not use the one, unique ability that would save her from certain death?

As said, we know this old tune.

A detail I don't think I picked up on the first time around though is that Ruby is reaching desperately for Blake when they fall... and Blake just isn’t paying her any mind lol.

I mean I get it. Of course she’d be looking towards the villains/the bridges that represent safety, but given the non-relationship between Ruby and Blake, it struck me as funny that even when they’re “dying” together Blake barely seems to register Ruby’s presence. ‘I really look up to you!’ Yeah. Sure you do.

Ruby floats through the orange orbs of the void and, given that they show up in our opening, I hope we receive an explanation for what they are exactly. Perhaps the souls of other people who have fallen? Idk, I'm reaching. Neo shows up and fights in various disguises, blah blah blah. Ruby wakes on the beach to someone calling her name.

I feel like I asked this the first time around, but is anyone confident on whose voice that is? It almost sounds like Ruby’s own to me - perhaps heralding the split we saw in the trailer - but it could also be a repeat of Yang’s when she saved her? Honestly though, that second option feels too emotionally nuanced for what we got in the rest of this episode.

Right now, I’m inclined to ignore the voice until something actually comes of it. RWBY history has taught me that such minor mysteries may not last past the twenty minute mark.

As we saw in the released clip, we're immediately given some details of this strange land, including giant flora and twin suns. That’s... pretty tame. I’m of the opinion that if you’re going to do an Alice in Wonderland-inspired story, you’ve got two routes you can follow. The first (and for more satisfying option, I think) is to study the ways in which the original story functioned as a metaphor for the life of a child navigating an adult world and, similarly, use the weirdness of this land to impart some message. The second option (far easier, but still entertaining) is to really lean into the oddities, captivating your audience through the sheer WTF-ness of what you’ve put on screen, even if the strangeness isn’t actually representative of anything other than a "Well damn, that was weird" reaction.

Sadly, RWBY’s “A Place of Particular Concern” doesn’t seem to be achieving either. I mentioned when the trailer dropped that I don’t trust the story to say anything meaningful via its environments, but nor are the environments spectacular enough to engage us through novelty alone. Don’t get me wrong, I think the animators have achieved an impressive feat here, especially given the constraints and terrible working conditions we know they’ve faced before, but the oddness of the Ever After is mediocre at best. Oh look, small things like shells are now big. Real birds like the Dodo now come in flashier colors. A mouse talks!

...in a story where a main character is a cat girl.

Just like RWBY failed to distinguish how magic was different - and, ultimately, more shocking - than semblances, it’s now failing to inspire that sense of awe when our characters already hail from a pretty odd world. Sure, this is a different kind of odd, but the switch lacks any real punch. Compare RWBY’s Remnant/Ever After to Alice’s Normal World/Wonderland. She doesn’t have things like faunus and grimm, so something as relatively simple as a cat smiling unnerves her (and the reader). She doesn’t just see a slightly off bird, she finds out you now use them to play croquet. And she’s at the center of every oddity, experiencing these changes first-hand. Ruby sees a giant shell for a single shot. Alice becomes a giant and deals with the social horror of filling up someone’s house. I knew this was going to be a problem back when our clip dropped because despite being a separate realm supposedly governed by its own rules, we’ve still got a mouse terrified of cats. There’s this implication that the Ever After is oh so strange and horrifyingly unfamiliar... but then we immediately turn around and learn, no wait, most of what Ruby is encountering is familiar. At least enough to get by.

Ruby: “I should have known! I’ve seen plenty of cartoons!”

Volume 9 is playing it super safe with the Wonderland references and it’s really disheartening. If RWBY doesn’t have anything to say via this weirdness, I would have at least liked to see something truly weird.

To get back to the plot, Ruby immediately starts walking into the jungle and I - true story - groaned at the screen. Despite knowing it was coming! Because how can you have a character go through everything Ruby just did and not provide some reflection on it? This girl wakes up in a fantasy world after The Most Traumatic Fight Ever and waltzes off like an automaton following a coded directive. Where’s the shocked examination of her surroundings? Where’s the horrified, “Where am I? Did I die?” questioning? Where’s the post-fight panic where she desperately shouts for her teammates, begging someone to answer her? I literally can’t think of another instance in which a character goes through that much and then, literally, walks it off.

Later in the episode Ruby will inform Weiss and Blake that she spotted an overhang on the cliff and decided to try and get up there so she could survey her surroundings. It sure would have been nice to know about that while she was wandering. During the actual act of her travel I had no idea what Ruby was trying to accomplish other than, in true RWBY fashion, what I assumed was her most logical goal(s) - like finding her teammates. The kicker is that there are a ton of easy ways to keep the viewer informed despite lacking voice-overs. Let Ruby talk to herself as a way to self-sooth. Or use Little as a sounding board (why else is this mouse even here...) Show us a shot of Ruby spotting her target, taking a deep, fortifying breath, and going, “Okay... you can do this. Just make it to the cliff. One step at a time," a goal that’s ruined once her steps start going in circles. You can add a bit of character work by having Ruby remember Tai and Qrow’s training: always get a sense of your surroundings first. You can setup Ruby’s (presumably) Volume-long depression by having her just lie in the sand for a while, the suns passing overhead, staring at them listlessly, only moving when the surf starts hitting her mouth. Hell, is anyone even carrying their scrolls anymore? I don’t care how unlikely it is that it’ll work here, the first thing Ruby should do is whip that out and try to call her teammates.

Watching this moment in the context of the whole episode made it that much worse for me. It’s just so glaring how rushed this entire premiere was, with every logical reaction - to say nothing of the emotional beats necessary after that finale - getting brushed aside so that the team can get back together in under fifteen minutes. We’ve only got ten episodes, Ruby, so hurry it up. Go on, girl, give us nothing!

So we know the rest of this silliness, yeah? There’s the implication that a small amount of time has passed, an annoying dodo bird that must have been animated in later because Ruby doesn’t react to that either, a circular path of the jungle, and the soon to be named Little watching all this from a rock.

I want to emphasize that our first tonal emphasis here is humor. Having Ruby continually ending up in the same place, growing frustrated with cutsey voice acting, and the quick cuts of Little in various poses all function as lighthearted amusement for the audience... which is really fucking weird in a Volume following up on the trauma of last season. This is going to be an ongoing problem for the entirety of the episode and severely undermines the reveal that Penny has died (again). This is the exact thing RWDE folks have been worried about for literal years now, from the moment we realized we were getting a Wonderland-type world. I have little doubt that the fandom is right in saying that the rest of the Volume will likely get much darker than this (it almost always does nowadays), but that doesn’t matter because the damage has already been done. RWBY cannot continually flip-flop like this and expect its viewers to still buy into the serious moments. So many of us have lost faith in the writers’ abilities to treat these subjects respectfully and segueing from the (supposedly) fascist storyline that ends in horrific tragedy straight into, “What a whacky world, am I right? 🤪” is a damn good way to continually alienate viewers who want an emotional connection with this show.

Every time this criticism comes up there are other RWBY fans pushing back with the claim that a show - especially one that began so lighthearted and silly - simply can’t just be doom and gloom all the time. And you know what? They’re absolutely right. However, there are numerous ways to infuse comedy into your story without outright undermining the primary tone. Given that I’m reading it at the moment, I’d like to briefly use Kim Carnby’s Sweet Home as an example.

For those who are unaware, Sweet Home is a webtoon turned Netflix series that follows 18 year old Cha Hyun-soo after both his parents and sister die in a car accident. Given that he’s technically an adult, but without much financial support and already grappling with a deep depression, he moves into a rundown apartment complex and schedules his own suicide. Before he can go through with it though, a virus sweeps through the world, turning people into various kinds of monsters. These monsters - entertainingly creative - are modeled after whatever the infected person’s greatest desire is at the time of their turning, resulting in some benign beings... but much more hungry, violent, terrifying beasts. Thus, the story is centered around Cha Hyun-soo’s attempts to survive, the horrors found in his apartment complex, and the question of why he’s trying so hard to live when he’d already planned to die.

It’s dark, is what I’m getting at.

It also has moments like this:

And just a little while later:

Here, a generational divide infuses some much needed comedy into the story without detracting from the world’s overall tone (note too that Cha Hyun-soo remains looking stressed and anxious the whole time). It would be a problem if our depressed, terrified teenage suddenly started jumping like he’s having the time of his life (Weiss). It would be a problem if the entire first volume, which is meant to highlight the horror of this situation, was constantly peppered with lame jokes involving cutesy animals (the mice). If you’re going to add comedy, keep it subtle, relatable, and in this case bound to the characters’ internal monologue. By having them each compliment the other with age-appropriate comparisons that cause confusion, but without verbally acknowledging that confusion, the humor exists purely for the audience’s sake. The characters aren’t supposed to be laughing it up right now... so they don’t. The humor is for the reader alone, recognizing the miscommunication and enjoying it as an element separate from the dark tone of the characters’ world. Because this is the vibe of the scene directly before:

RWBY fails at this division. A lot. Like, that failure makes up the majority of this episode.

You know what? It’s easier to just keep a count going.

Little’s introduction is Ill-suited Comedy Example #1.

All of which means that when Ruby starts crying - and by that I mean a few sniffles and a single tear track - I have no investment in the moment. Even if the animation were close to what I’d expect after such a tragedy, its impact is obliterated by the, “Look! Cute mouse!” immediately proceeding and following it.

Also, love how Little has never seen a human before, is watching Ruby intently during this entire process... yet makes no effort to engage with her. I suppose I get it given the emphasis on how scared the mice are of predators, but from a character perspective it leaves something to be desired. In regards to Ruby not (yet) utilizing Little as a means of expressing her thoughts to the audience, our first Ever After character is just kinda... there. Ruby stumbles across them. (BTW, is they/them what the fandom is using for our first non-binary rep?) They only speak because they feel obligated to help Ruby after she retrieves the cheese. They come on this adventure because, by their own admission, they simply have nothing better to do. What’s the point of Little again? How are they serving the story? They don’t even lead Ruby to Blake and Weiss - she stumbles across them on her own while Little sleeps. In fact, it’s already a running gag that Little naps instead of doing anything useful. I wouldn’t care so much if RWBY weren’t already a show suffering from character bloat and an inability to manage that (because the former isn’t necessarily a problem on its own). Now that we’ve finally got the girls alone(-ish) and primed for some character development, I don’t want to squander it on stupid mouse jokes.

Given which: Little’s ‘Gimme The Cheese’ dance + accompanying sounds effects is Ill-Suited Comedy Example #2.

I mentioned the first time around that I am weak for a cute, animal companion. That remains true. Unfortunately, Little’s cuteness is only carrying them so far with me. Their negative impact on the narrative as a whole is, thus far, simply too much to fix with grabby motions and snot bubbles.

They ask the thematic, “What are you?” question and introduce a number of other theoretical ideas that, frankly, I doubt the Volume will capitalize on. Is your name your purpose? (Like Huntress Ruby Rose.) How does one "Little"? The team is “similar, but different.” Until the Volume actually does something with these questions, I’m inclined to read them as simple ‘nonsense’ language included to try and emulate Carroll’s style.

With Little planning to show Ruby her village (but doesn't actually succeed in that), we cut to Weiss and Blake traversing the jungle together. How did they find one another? No idea. Why did they find one another when Blake fell with Ruby? No idea. The story tries to bypass this by, as expected, leaning into the illogical nature of the world. If they somehow found each other, then they might be able to likewise find Blake’s weapon, despite the fact that it fell long after her. Honestly, this feels more like a very convenient plot device than an interesting characteristic of this world. Things happen so randomly here! Funny how that randomness seems to solely benefit the heroes.

Sidenote: I really like that Weiss says “Gambol Shroud” because the weapon names have felt only semi-canon for a very long time. Other than Ruby referring to Crescent Rose back in the first couple episodes, have we heard the names at all? I can’t recall off the top of my head, but regardless this makes for a nice moment between Weiss and Blake. It’s a small thing, but it helps sell the idea that they do actually know one another well.

The rest of the scene is... passable. Weiss has a “Blake... I’m really glad you’re okay” line and gets a “I’m really glad you are too” in response. This is one of those cases where I think fiction needs to deviate sharply from reality. Irl that’s probably exactly the kind of awkward, rushed line I’d give a close friend because I myself am awkward and struggle to verbalize my care for others (gift giving ftw!). But in fiction an exchange like that just comes across as wooden. “I’m really glad you’re okay,” says the girl who thought this friend had died and for real saw another friend get killed by a third like, an hour ago. Wow, what a reaction! This is also a case of RWBY’s animation acting as a constraint. As said earlier, I think the animators are doing the best they can under the circumstances, but better writing, time, and funds would likely lend itself to a more expressive reunion for all the girls. It also highlights how convenient the time-skip is. You can easily argue that these two cried and hugged and went through their Face Journeys when they first found one another. No need to rehash that though because it already happened off screen!

All of this is made worse for me by the fact that Blake says that if they’re fine, the others “might” be okay too. Might! That’s a loaded word choice with absolutely no follow up. Remember, this is the girl who was beside herself with anger and grief when Yang “died.” So glad to see that emotion carried over into the next Volume. I mean hell, give me a Blake who’s screaming at Weiss to just ditch her weapon. Why are they bothering with that when Yang is still missing?? Screw vines and mice, I’m going to go find my partner!

If only.

Everything in this episode just rings so hollow to me. I mean, I expected that given RWBY’s track record, but this is a severe failure to me given the intensity of Volume 8. From Penny's death to destroying a Kingdom, the fate of their friends to lost Relics, we needed a stellar start to this emotional journey and we simply didn’t get it.

That includes Weiss dodging the question of what happened after Blake fell. I really enjoyed this on the surface, just not - as is so often the case - in the context of RWBY as a whole. Because what is Weiss doing here except keeping another secret? In her defense, it doesn’t last long and there’s a case to be made about how difficult it is to discuss such things, especially after they just happened, so as said, I think that’s a compelling situation to put her in. It’s just one that also happens to poke at a RWDE sore spot because we had such a strong anti-secret rhetoric for three Volumes. Thanks to that arc, my initial reaction is not, “Poor Weiss. Grappling with this traumatic event.” It’s “See, Weiss? See how hard it is to discuss something horrific that you went through? But oh, you and the others had no sympathy for Ozpin in that regard, so just get over it and spill the crucial information already. Snap, snap, keeping Blake informed is more important than your mental health.”

All of which isn’t even touching on how she explains the situation... but we’ll get to that.

So they have this exchange that’s passable in many regards and fails largely due to the problems RWBY has carried with it for years now. They stumble across Gambol Shroud and proceed to spend a while trying to cut the vines/reach it from a nearby tree. This is how Weiss cheers Blake on.

Weiss: “Yah! Woo!”

Example #3, folks.

Weiss’ completely inappropriate cheer-leading aside, the entire time I’m going, “How is this in any way a problem?” I know Blake has become the useless fighter who can’t take out a single grimm without Ruby’s help, and Weiss has forgotten everything except her summoning, but has the audience forgotten how these girls used to fight? Anyone recall this moment from their very first battle?

Oh no, a giant pile of vines! However will we get past this obstacle?😱

I don’t know, maybe just... jump? Or you could get a little more creative by summoning a clone and doing a cool person-tower move to reach the top? That’s definitely not me pulling from my love of Yu Yu Hakusho or anything.

TEAMWORK, BABY!

My point is that moments like this fall flat precisely because RWBY has spent so much time showing us the group’s extreme abilities. Remember that scenes like the Ace Ops fight hinge on their presumed excellence. This is a group that beat the best team in Atlas! But now they can’t even bypass a pile of vines? The downside of giving your characters great power is that you then have to continually come up with ways for them to still face challenging conflict. Some shows handle this rather badly (like Castiel not just blowing up every demon/mortal that opposes them) and some shows handle it rather well (we establish early on that despite technically having the power to get the crew out of sticky situations, Star Trek’s transporter is prone to glitches and interference from the weather). Basically, you can’t go, “These girls are brimming with power because that looks awesome in a fight! But oh, now they can’t use that power because... uh... because that would interfere with our lame gag?” There has to be a reason. And this is far from the first time RWBY has conveniently forgotten the characters’ abilities. I still cringe at Ruby hanging off the cliff during the Cordovin battle. It’s meant to be a dramatic moment wherein she faces great danger from a fall, but they tried to give that to the girl who can fly.

So this is just incredibly stupid to me. Bad enough that we have gags following the intensity of Volume 8, but RWBY hasn’t even put in the effort to make them good gags. This episode honestly feels like RWBY satire to me, more akin to a Chibi episode, or a YouTuber poking fun, than the content fans waited two years for.

Right as Blake reaches her weapon they learn that the vines were a trap and they move, ensnaring both girls. We knew that was going to occur from the trailer and I thought that this was just another aspect of the Ever After. The vegetation (a bit like Alice’s flowers) is alive, sentient, capable of helping or hurting you. That’s pretty cool and, as I mentioned in regards to the environment responding to Ruby’s emotions, could be utilized in fantastic ways for combat.

However, this isn’t actually the case. Apparently the mice have sprung this trap because... Blake is a cat?

Wait.

So let me get this straight. This village of mice - who have never seen a human before, but have definitely seen cats - assume that Blake is exactly the same because she has cat ears. Then they found her weapon before her, somehow realize it is her weapon (even though Blake has yet to even stand next to it within the Ever After), and set an elaborate trap so that they can be the “hunters” for once, instead of the prey. Blake happens to come along with another human, but who cares? Capture her too! What are they going to do with them then?

Uh... the only thing we know about these mice is that they spend the majority of their time foraging for food and they struggle greatly to get the cheese out of the ground, and this would certainly be a way to both feed the village and eliminate a presumed enemy, so...

You know what? Never mind. I’m not going there lol.

This is stupid and illogical, but not in a wacky Wonderland way. Also, anyone else a little uncomfortable with the mice calling her a cat and Blake just going with it? Is that the stance we’re going with after eight seasons of a civil rights movement? That a faunus girl and an animal are fundamentally interchangeable?😬

They could have used this moment to let Blake explain her identity to someone coming from a place of well-meaning ignorance but noooo, why would we have an interesting conversation with the mice when they can just cheer about cheese instead? “She pulled the cheese out of the ground ON HER OWN!” Little cries, causing another mouse to faint in shock.

Example #4

While all this is going on Ruby shows up because remember, the premiere is trying to get the group back together as quickly as humanly possible. Or magically possible, in this case. We get Ruby asking if Little is drooling on her - “Yuck” - before spotting the village of mice about to do presumably unspeakable things to her teammates. Remember the shot from the trailer where Ruby looks properly horrified and I wondered what could possibly be causing that reaction? Yeah. It’s just this.

Example #5. Sigh.

If you were hoping for a proper reunion between these three, keep hoping. We segue immediately into a practical explanation where Ruby explains, about five minutes too late, what she was trying to accomplish while wandering around the jungle. Little has her freak-out about Blake, explains Ruby’s magic cheese gathering skills to the others, and then decides to tag along to find Yang because, and I quote, “I don’t have anything to do yet.” For a hot second I thought this was going to lead into more information about mouse culture. You know, how Little has already admitted that they don’t have a name, how they equate names with a purpose, and therefore if they have nothing to do in their village yet because they’re so young, they’ll find a purpose by traveling with these humans. We might have even put off Little’s naming to this moment, having them or one of the girls come up with something appropriate to the task ahead: something like Guide, or even Friend (of Humans).

But no, apparently Little is tagging along just because they literally have nothing better to do? In the sense that they’re bored and why the hell not? It’s not exactly a compelling reason and, given that they’ve yet to provide any actual assistance to the girls, I’m continually questioning their place in the story. This is what critics mean when they say that time is wasted with Volume-specific side characters when we could be doing more, better work with the core team.

Case in point: Little says that they’ll be “your trusty guide!” and then the joke is that they’re immediately asleep again once the girls set out.

#6!

I do like the following scene though. As the trio follows a path that they’ve found, Weiss walks ahead with her back (obviously) facing Blake and Ruby. When Ruby likewise questions what happened after they fell, there’s this long pause where Weiss considers how to respond, not turning around. It’s a powerful little detail, refusing to show us, or the girls, her face. It leaves her expression up to interpretation while maintaining the impression that she’s hiding from her teammates, due to not knowing how to address their failure. Her insistence on finding Yang first just highlights that avoidance. Really, I think this moment works quite well and I wish the whole episode had been treated this seriously.

Just as Ruby is about to press the issue they hear a roar from nearby. Following it, they discover a creature that fans have already dubbed RWBY’s version of the Jabberwocky.

"Beware the Jabberwock, my son!

The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!

Bewared the Jubjub bird, and shun

The frumious Bandersnatch!"

Kudos to RWBY for trying here. It’s no secret that I think one of the best grimm lately have been The Apathy, so having another horror-leaning creature was a good decision in my opinion. Unfortunately, I like the idea more than the execution. The twitching motion of the Jabberwocky could have been creepy, but it doesn’t quite capture that feeling of unnatural otherness that makes your skin crawl. A problem with the animation, or something the engine itself just isn’t equipped to create? I’m not sure. Its voice is also a nice touch, with the exception that it’s really hard to understand once it starts yelling. At first I thought RWBY was leaning into the Jabberwocky’s origins. That is, using nonsense words like those from Carroll’s poem whose meaning is understood only in context. Now though, I think it’s just a badly voiced character? I’m not sure because Crunchyroll’s subtitles wouldn’t work for me (of course) and all I got was the “Searching. Stalking. Detecting.” in the beginning.

Which, you know, is an interesting bit of dialogue. RWBY has always straddled the line between fantasy and Sci-Fi, so I’m pleased to see some of the latter worming its way into the distinctly fantasy setting of the Ever After. The Jabberwocky sounds like an AI creation following a coded command. Out of everything this episode, I’m most eager to learn more about it.

Of course, we can’t learn anything now. Despite the fact that Yang stumbles out of the jungle, arm gone, throwing a rock at the Jabberwocky, and looking like she’s been through hell and back. Would you like to know what Yang experienced while on her own here? Or how she came across the Jabberwocky? What she might already know about it?

Would you like to see an actual battle in the combat show’s premiere?

Too bad.

The Jabberwocky just runs off and we get an... interesting reunion for the whole team. First off, Weiss just isn’t a part of this. Given that she’s not Yang’s sister or the Schrodinger girlfriend, she’s shuffled off to the side. Second, Ruby is greeted with a, “Dammit! You weren’t supposed to be here” which I really like. Rather than going the pure fluff route, the writing seems to consider the fact that Yang (as we’ll learn soon) thinks she may have died, so of course she’s horrified to see her little sister here too. This isn’t a joyful reunion for her, it's evidence that her (stupid) sacrifice was in vain. As always, I wish we could have explored that a little more - specifically this idea that Yang thought she was dead and was still trying to defend herself against hostile creatures - but a single line is all we’re given.

Ruby gets that soft smile of hers, kneels down, and says, “If you thought we wouldn’t have come for you then you must have forgotten who raised me.” Aww.

...wait.

Hold up.

The fuck??

First of all, that is NOT what happened. Ruby didn’t come looking for Yang, she lost to Cinder - DESPITE HAVING A UNIQUE ABILITY TO BEAT HER, I WILL CONTINUALLY ADD - and failed to rose-petal her way to safety. Wow, way to imply a heroic rescue that doesn’t exist, Ruby. Also, this simultaneously implies that if they had won the fight Ruby would have dove into the void afterwards to try and find Yang which... you know... I highly doubt. Just given her non-reaction to her sister “dying.” If there was going to be any rescue attempts, give me a Ruby who jumps after Yang as she’s falling and they both go in together.

So that’s a huge misrepresentation of events and then Ruby follows that up with, “you must have forgotten who raised me"? What exactly is that supposed to mean? Because a lot of people raised Ruby. Is it Tai, Summer, Qrow... or Yang herself? This almost feels bait-y to me, in the sense that the writers must know that mom!Yang has been a huge debate in the fandom for years, so they toss in this ambiguous line that could go either way. Is Ruby referring to her many capable, loving, adult guardians? Or her older sister that maybe, sorta “raised her” while their dad was recovering from the death of his wife? I don’t know, why don’t you all fight about it ;)

But no, let’s talk about the actual bait: bumblebee.

Now, for a long time I’ve refrained from calling Blake/Yang queerbaiting for the simple reason that I’ve expected the show to follow through with the romance in a way I don’t expect that from “real” queerbaiting. Remember, the word originates from a hard “No” on the queer front, that’s why it’s baiting and not a slow-burn towards representation. However, we’ve now entered an age of television where, yes, many couples do become canon, but only in the final hour when the writers don’t have to actually write a queer romance. That’s the modern from of queerbaiting and goddamn, is bumblebee fitting it to a T.

I know the fandom has some memory problems, but everyone recalls the surety that Yang and Blake’s romance would kickstart after Yang “died” right? That having Blake mourn her and then discover her alive would finally push her to go in for a kiss? We pictured a plot where the girls were separated for the first couple of episodes, still believing the others were gone, Blake stumbling across Yang in the Ever After, the confusion and shock and relief at finding her again, the kiss that would finally bring RWBY into 2023--

Yeah. There’s none of that.

I myself said that THIS was the time to do it. If you ever needed an excuse to get the queer couple together (which you don’t) then the reunion after one thinks the other has died is 100% the time to do it. Emotions will never be stronger! Inhibitions will never be lower! Don’t pass up such a golden opportunity!

They totally passed it up.

This reunion is just as generically ambiguous as all the others, right down to Yang hugging Blake with a tenderness that’s equal to what she’s given other characters:

Friends. This is all the same hug. There is nothing coded romantic in this reunion, not unless we want to claim that Yang is also romantically attracted to Ren, Weiss, and her sister.

I’ve already seen some fans talking about the importance of Blake initiating contact when before she always held back and yeah, sure, that can be read as character growth, but that’s the kind of minuscule step forward we needed years ago. Not now. Now we’re firmly in bait territory and need confirmation.

“But, Clyde, it’s just the start of the Volume. They could still kiss!”

I don’t care. RT had an opportunity and they squandered it. If there's a kiss, a confession, or whatever comes later in the Volume, it’s still more time that the show has spent in a will-they-won’t-they dance. I’m so sick of it. RWBY’s queer rep is atrocious and I find that to be particularly insulting in a show that’s praised for and celebrates its own diversity. I watch plenty of television with no queer rep at all, but I don’t give them the same kind of shit because they’re not pretending to be the Pinnacle of Queer Representation. If you’re going to claim that you have a queer main couple, then actually give us a queer main couple.

God I was actually so hopeful I’d be writing a, “We’ve finally confirmed it!” recap. It’s beyond frustrating at this point and I’m continually shocked at the fans who are celebrating that hug like they’ve been given a feast and not crumbs. If I were more emotionally invested in bumblebee as a ship - meaning, if I cared more about the relationship itself rather than how it functions as representation for RWBY - I’d be pissed as hell. Yang “died,” Blake lost her mind over it, we waited two years, and then you give us... that? If I were a hardcore bumblebee shipper I’d be writing about my extreme disappointment in RT, not my happiness that Yang touched Blake’s hair.

Actually no, I grew up in the age of no rep/the original queerbaiting, so really I’d be rolling my eyes at anyone who expected a canonical relationship and instead going off to write it myself as fic. I still believe very strongly that ships don’t need a canonical basis and in some ways fandom has limited itself by only writing about what’s canon, or “realistically” canon ([waves old man cane] “In my day we shipped characters who were never even on screen together!”), but I acknowledge that we’ve entered a new age of television. Viewers expect more. They should expect more and they should get it.

With the disappointing hug behind us, Yang observers that if they’re all here then things must have gone really badly up top. This finally pushes Weiss over the edge and she starts the not-crying that all the RWBY girls do, where she has wet eyes and a single tear track. “Penny,” she says. “Jaune tried to help... but she scarified herself...”

And by that you mean Jaune killed her? Weiss’ recounting of events makes it sound like her own stabbing by Cinder: Penny was hurt and Jaune tried to heal her, only this time it wasn’t enough. When in reality we’ve got Jaune giving up because his “I’ve had a human body for twenty minutes” patient says there’s no hope and then slitting her throat because Penny mistakenly believes all she can do with her life is give it up.

Again: what happened to telling your team everything? Where did the importance of context and the complete picture go? For a team that’s so furious when others provide incomplete or misleading information, they sure do that themselves a lot. We can add, “Weiss horribly mischaracterizes Penny’s death” to the “Yang is keeping the Spring Maiden a secret, twists all their failures into victories to win a fight with Ren, and Ruby straight up lied to Ironwood” list.

In another show I’d have more faith that this would come back to bite Weiss; that the girls will later learn the truth and express some actual emotion at her inability to keep them informed... but who am I kidding. This is RWBY. It’ll be forgotten - or retconned - by next episode.

Ruby faints at hearing that Penny has died (again) and man, I really want to like this moment because it’s definitely more of a reaction than I was expecting based on our post-Volume 3 writing. However, this is primarily used as a way to avoid Ruby’s reaction, wherein she wakes up some undetermined time later and is allowed to pretend to be fine, thereby jumping over any conversation/crying/actual emotion we might have seen from her. I know that Ruby will be grappling with this for the entire Volume - our intro proves as much - but it’s still disappointing that we don’t get to see Ruby grapple with her initial feelings because she was too busy being unconscious.

Also, anyone else frustrated that the same action used to depict horror and grief is used for a gag just a few minutes earlier? A mouse faints at the thought of someone being able to pull up cheese with a single tug! Ruby faints at the thought of her dear friend dying for a second time! This is why all that earlier humor messes with the more serious moments.

Our final scene once again fails to convince me that any of these characters love each other outside of the Grand Gestures delivered post-tragedy. No one is holding Ruby while she’s unconscious. No one has made her a makeshift pillow or blanket. Yang asks once if she’s alright - when she’s clearly not - and then just drops the subject when Ruby says yeah, she’s fine. None of them waited until she’d woken up to have this important conversation. After Weiss’ tears and Ruby’s faint, there are no reactions to Penny’s death. Do Blake and Yang care? Presumably not considering they never had a real relationship with her, but RWBY likely wants us to assume that their reactions exist off screen. Remember, given that we’re primarily following Ruby as our protagonist, her being unconscious means that we also skip over how everyone else reacts too. The viewer only gets to continue seeing the story when Ruby wakes up.

I had low expectations for the Volume 8 follow up, but overall this is pretty bad even by my nonexistent standards. It’s not that the premiere doesn’t give us any worthwhile moments, it’s that none of them are capitalized on. They just sit, unexplored, or outright undermined by what the rest of the episode has produced.

It’s disappointing, to say the least. As are our final lines. Yang admits that she thought she was dead, but there’s no time to let her or the others explore that. We hear a throwaway line that her arm was stolen - which relies a lot on the viewer having seen the trailer to understand how and why that happened, at least until next episode. And then Blake follows a bit of light shining through to them, parting some of the vines to look out across the entirety of Ever After.

“I know how this sounds, but... I think we’re in a fairy tale.”

Our final line, folks! Is there anyone else that would have preferred ending on Ruby’s faint? Feels more dramatic and would have let the fandom theorize a bunch before she wakes up next episode (even if then, inevitably, there would have been disappointment that nothing was done with it). Really, I get why they want to end on the shot of Ever After, but all I could think was, how in the world did you come to that conclusion, Blake? Given that this is a world based off of a real fairy tale and not the fairy tales that exist in Remnant. I would 100% buy a character from our world recognizing that they’re in a place similar to Wonderland, but nothing we’ve seen here reflects the tales of Remnant.

Well no, there is one thing, but it exists in the opening. Blake’s been reading the script again.

So let’s unpack that, shall we?

(Sorry, I need to slam all the important opening screenshots together because tumblr won't let me upload any more images boooo).

Our first shot is of Jaune! 🤦‍♀️

Really? That’s the beginning of every episode’s opening? Jaune crying with his broken, bloody sword? Hmm, I wonder if the character imposing on the girls’ team journey will be important this Volume. We also get another shot of him with a clock motif, making me wonder if the theories about him having (somehow) spent longer in the Ever After will prove to be true.

This initial shot is paired with Neo looking sad, presumably over Roman’s death and her continued failure to avenge him. She appears in the trailer a fair bit which, alongside the Jabberwocky, is the thing I’m most excited for. I’m glad that, at least based on this, it doesn’t look like they’re going to squander her role as a villain here. We see Neo drinking her tea with a fantastic smirk, surrounded by a group of shadowy antagonists.

A huge list of one-off baddies, or the various looks she’ll be adopting to mess with the characters? I’m hoping for the latter, especially since some fans think that one of the silhouettes looks like Jacques. However, I do question whether she can actually pull something like that off. I love the idea of Neo manipulating the group, especially in a Volume hosting a grief arc, especially in a place that, as far as they know, might contain their dead loved ones. For a brief moment I even questioned if that other Ruby we see in the trailer was Neo. The problem is I’m pretty sure she speaks and, thus, it’s very difficult for a villain to pretend to be an ally for more than a few seconds when she’s mute. Combine that with the fact that Ruby knows Neo is here and that all just kinda... falls apart. Which is unfortunate because I would have loved to see a Neo using the Ever After’s impossibilities and her own semblance to mess with the heroes. Still, a final shot at the end appears to show everything stemming from Neo, which makes me think she’s going to be the major antagonistic force this Volume and/or gains control of the Ever After somehow. Fitting, for a woman with control over illusions.

Whether Neo makes much use of her semblance or not, I hope we don’t have another 8+ characters to introduce because there’s already Little, the other mice, the cat, racoon, the forge lady, the knight (same person?), the Red Queen, the creature hiding in the leaves, the caterpillar, the Jabberwocky, and this new girl. People get why that’s a lot to manage, right? Especially in a story with four main protagonists, with two others thrown into the void with them. I get that they don’t want the Ever After to be a wasteland, but RWBY continually has a problem with side characters eating up the time and focus. Then they’re left behind and that work feels wasted. Why spend a Volume developing Little (or Ilia, Sun, Neptune, etc.) just to drop them? This bloated cast means it’s a bit of a relief that Volume 9 doesn’t seem to be trying to jump between here and Vacuo, but damn. Three years to find out what’s happening with the others? The growing chance that there will be a time skip and that the girls will come back to find all these ongoing problems resolved off screen: We somehow rescued all the people from the desert! Ren and Nora are officially together! Winter has long gotten used to her powers! Oscar merged while you were gone and now we don’t have to worry about Ozpin anymore!

Not looking forward to it.

Out of all these new characters, the most important is the young girl. My current theory is that she’s the girl from “The Girl Who Fell Through the World,” with perhaps our opening line - “This is the story of a girl who had a lot of problems” - being the first line of her tale. We know due to Ozpin that many of Remnant’s fairy tales are based on true events, so it would make sense if that one came about after a young woman literally fell into a different world. We see her arrive on the beach before Crescent Rose shows up, implying that she’s been there a long time, and there are some implications that she’s a rather powerful figure now: she leads the group through the various environments (with Ruby lagging farther and farther behind. Perhaps the introduction of a new team leader will increase her feelings of inferiority and failure?), she appears right before an evil copy of Ruby turns around (love that grin), and she's in a painting with another, shadowed figure behind her. Despite the fact that we already have this reference (short of) it gives me Ozma/Tip vibes, wherein the original Wizard of Oz books Ozma is turned into a boy named Tip in an effort to keep her hidden.

Regardless of her role, I have the feeling this girl will end up being more of an antagonist than an ally; a representation of the ways Ever After can twist a long-term resident and likely a foil to Ruby (the true leader) and Jaune (someone who will overcome the world’s allure and return with the girls).

There are a number of other thematically significant shots throughout the opening. All the girls are shown in their various outfits, smiling or smirking, but Ruby grows sadder and her most recent counterpart hides in her cloak, facing away from the viewer.

Her tears - more than we’ve seen her actually cry in the show, I'd like to point out - transforms into Crescent Rose.

The girls try to navigate an impossible maze where the Ruby copy shows up, they run up the tree before being blown back (falling remains relevant then), the girls are once again gloriously saturated in their colors (even if Weiss is still more blue than white), and I really like the shot of Ruby falling past the rabbit. Actually, I like the painted style of that fall far more than I like the look of the rest of the Volume.

However, what interests me the most about this intro is a series of images that may well be connected: two streaks of blue falling through the sky, a massive explosion that engulfs the life tree, and the burning of a book of fairy tales.

Look, I don’t care how awful the gods actually are, especially when RWBY has done nothing to explore that. I don’t care if this is one of their realms and the heroes need to take drastic measures to escape it.

You are NOT going to have the girls destroy a whole-ass world after they destroyed a Kingdom, right?

Right?

On that thoroughly optimistic note, let’s end with a miscellaneous section because we are nearly 10k in and this poor recap needs to be put to bed. (As do I.)

Thanks for reading! :)

Misc. Observations

I enjoyed the little detail of Ruby wringing out her cloak as she surveyed the jungle. Nice job remembering she just came out of the water.

I didn’t enjoy the actual shot of the landscape though. I totally get that there’s wonky perspective stuff going on given how far back the ‘camera’ is, but am I the only one who thinks the jungle looks WAY too small in that opening scene?

I definitely mentioned this the first time I examined our promo clip (and briefly above), but I wonder if the weather here is influenced by emotion, given that the rain appears to start and stop when Ruby cries. I want to say “No” now just because this already isn’t consistent - there’s no rain when Weiss cries, you’d think we’d see some kind of weather influence when Ruby faints - but a part of me is hopeful just because it’s such a cool concept. Especially for a combat show where terrain can make-or-break a battle. As we’ve seen, each little bit of Ever After seems to function differently - Ruby doesn’t hit another patch of repeating jungle, for example - so maybe this is something that will return sporadically?

This is definitely me being nitpicky and petty, but you’ve gotta love that, other than the repeat dialogue of Volume 8 and the faint shouts of “Ruby!” our first words of the Volume are, “Now if only you could help me.” I don’t begrudge anyone help, certainly not the protagonist of a story that wants to be centered around unification, but Ruby has struggled with agency so much I can’t help but roll my eyes a little. Yes, why would we write our protagonist figuring out how to help herself when the random mouse she stumbles across can do it instead? And then, you know, not actually do anything, allowing the protagonist to instead just stumble on what she wants, rather than actively retrieving it.

So you know how Little not-so-subtly mentions that an easy way to get on their village’s good side is to bring more of that cheese? Surely then when we next see Ruby she’ll be animated carrying a couple of those cheeses as a bribe? Spoiler: she's not.

Anyone else feeling iffy about Blake’s description of Yang? The one where she refers to Yang as the scary looking one? As someone who has been frustrated with Yang’s lack of anger management the last couple of Volumes, I’m not a big fan of her “scariness” being played as a cute character quirk.

Ruby remembers right before the non-battle starts that she’s without Crescent Rose. Funny how she didn’t appear to notice its absence before, or go looking for her precious weapon like Blake did. (Seriously, I know I’ve said this a hundred times by now, but the girls’ reactions to landing here and everything they’ve lost are nonexistent.) This also highlights how useless most of the girls are without a weapon in hand. Didn’t we have a mini-arc back in Volume 5 about them learning hand-to-hand? Wasn’t that specifically labeled as Ruby’s flaw? Now it crops back up and she just hangs back, scared? Once again I'm asking what the point of any of that was if we're not going to see the development. Something something only the most recent Volume is canon.

#rwde #rwby #mymetas #RWBY Recaps

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