#i think another influence on my writing is just that i've been doing it for years (just without sharing any of it lol)

[bambiraptorx]

Hey, I'm curious to what you think (of past fandoms or whatever) has influenced your writing the most.

Also, hope you're doing alright! Have a good day!

I think the one of the most influential would have to be Voltron Legendary Defender, because that was the first show where I actually got involved in the fandom. It was also the through that fandom that I found out about fanfiction at all, and I read fanfic for years before ever writing anything. There's several others that I've got invested in over the years (Villainous/Vilanos, Avatar the Last Airbender, and Wonder Over Yonder being some of the bigger ones) but VLD is where I really started interacting with online communities around media.

And of course before getting into fandom I was the kid who would go to the library and check out twenty books at once. It's hard to point out specific influences because I would read so fricking much. At one point I had a notebook I would use to write down cool quotes from the books that I read, kinda like a commonplacer.

[hamsternella]

maybe headcanons of Bill Cipher being obsessed with us for being Ford's wife, but at first he feels jealous and gradually that changes as he finds we have equal things (e.g. we are blind, and that makes Bill start to want to get more intimate with us as he has with Ford because he finds that we have also been despised/put aside because of that difference), and maybe he wants to make a deal with us but we refuse out of loyalty to Ford and that makes Bill jealous- but now of Ford, not of us lmao sorry if that is confusing or too specific.

Are you going to write any Gravity Falls fanfic on the side? I've seen your poll and I'm very excited

HELLO, and no problem. Here it is, I hope you like it.

As for the fanfic, I do plan to write one. Actually, it's in drafts; I just need to correct what I have written. I don't know if I should make it long or cut it and put it in chapters.

Bill Cipher being obsessed with you [headcanon]

cw: fem!reader, non-con touching, possessed body, jealousy, maybe a bit of ooc(?

The reason Bill begins to feel his plan is threatened is because of you. As much as Ford has him on a pedestal, you are still the main reason for his early accomplishments. The special person who has been with him since his college discovery years.

You're not like McGucket; your judgment carries paramount weight in Ford's most decisive decisions. You're not a mentally dazzling woman, not like him, but your claws keep you firmly entrenched behind Sixer's back. Bill repudiates that—it makes no sense at all!

As if that weren't enough, the affair culminates with you being blind. Can there be anything much more repugnant than a romance fueled by misfortune? Ford is drawn to your sincere heart, and you support him unconditionally because beyond your husband's obsession, your love for him seems to break down the most terrifying walls. And how can you be afraid of something you can no longer see?

Bill feels he has the enemy breathing behind his back. For the first time he thinks he can't solve everything with a kick to the rock in the middle of the road.

The closest thing to a tantrum you get from him —unknowingly— are regular nightmares, a weak body and constant paranoia about unfamiliar sounds and sensations. Your home is suddenly a new world; frightening and strange. Because of this you become clumsy and unpredictable, and even your husband doesn't understand what it is that has you so off track.

Bill can't use his influence on your reality at all, but through Ford and other extensions, as well as fine print manipulations, he manages to reach you without arousing suspicion.

''I've told you many times, Bill,'' sighed Ford with his back turned, both hands placed on his journal. ''I don't think I can go through with this completely until I manage to find a way to help my wife.''

''Isn't this a sign that it's time to get her out of your way?''

"Excuse me?’’ The man turned his attention to the demon; his eyes laden with bitterness and desolation. ''What do you mean by that? I can't abandon my wife, Cipher—she would never do something like that to me.''

''Well,'' Bill chuckled, ''it's not like she's really done anything for you all this time. This project is our thing, Fordsy, and it shouldn't be interrupted by a little stumble that doesn't even belong to us. Or are you going to give up everything you've sacrificed for this?''

''You have understood me like no other, Bill; I admit that there is no person or creature existing on this planet who can do all that you have done for me,'' admitted Ford solemnly. ''But she's my wife—she's been around even before you, when I was nobody. When I had nothing. And even when I came to Gravity Falls and left everything behind she was always there. Bill, I... I can't, I'm sorry.''

Bill held back another complaint, beginning to notice that things were not working out the way he had wanted. Your clumsiness didn't kill Ford's patience or control, but what little sanity —if any— there was in him. It was humiliating; Bill Cipher losing to a human being, a random woman—blind, to make it worse.

The demon was beginning to withdraw in on himself, frustration rising to anger, when Ford's voice from the entrance to the room drew his gaze back. There was a different gleam in his companion's, and Cipher understood with annoyance where the conversation would end up now.

Your husband introduces you to the possible solution to all your problems: Mr. Cipher, a doctor and close friend of Stanford. A mysterious man with a booming voice that makes your hair stand on end, but at the end of the day a man of studies and degrees. Of course you were going to trust your husband's recommendation.

''What a coincidence that you happened to be passing by, sir! Thank you for offering to help me. That's very kind of you.''

Bill starts pretending to be your personal doctor in search of a miracle solution to your problems. It's not hard to avoid contact with you to hide the truth; Ford tries hard to keep the situation straight.

If the demon hated you before, now you better start praying.

Cipher understands that he needs to play along with Ford if he wants the project to stay on track, even if that means starting to help you heal while containing his desire to get rid of you.

Maybe if he possessed Stanford and took advantage of you during your naps.

Maybe.

But he knows better than that—Ford isn't stupid. Not stupid enough, at least.

It was humiliating to have to take care of what he himself had caused, but it's not as if Bill could afford any other way to get back on the project. Ford was all he had. Where was he going to get someone else capable enough? This had been fate; interrupted at the last minute by the appearance of a bad third. This was all your fault. Blind little rat—woman busybody with a sweet smile and giggly voice. Cipher understood why Sixer was where he was with you, on the one hand. On the other it was all the same: a whim that cost dearly. Who needed someone like you? What was the benefit? Sex, maybe? But Bill Cipher was a thousand times better than something so banal! Please…

Bill rolled his eye, snapping his fingers to undo the nightmare you were in. As soon as your dream was undone you let out an exclamation of surprise, jumping on the bed. You brought a hand to your face, feeling the sweat, and almost immediately moved your body to where he lay. Cipher held back surprise, finding himself genuinely intrigued.

''Doctor,'' you whispered hoarsely, ''good afternoon. I... Forgive me, I think I fell asleep—it was sudden, I don't know what came over me...''

''Did you know it was me here with you?''

The smile you gave him threw him off. A ''Well, yes, isn't it very obvious?'' kind of grimace.

''Does your husband know that you have these nightmares during our therapies?''

'Therapies' sounded fancy, but it was shorthand for the tortures Bill forced you to go through; a theater of supposed recovery to cover up his need to hurt you.

“He doesn't know, doctor. I haven't told him, if I'm honest,'' you replied. ''Please don't tell him anything.''

''It would be unethical!''

‘’Pretending to be a doctor is also unethical, sir,’’ you laughed. ''I am blind, not stupid.’’

Killing you was going to be the only solution to all of this—although from that day on nothing else ever happened.

Bill has to accept that you have a lot of tricks up your sleeve. You're not just any woman anymore; being Ford's wife had to have been warning enough for him.

You continue to not remind him of his charade and allow him to continue 'treating' you, while your husband resumes the plans for the portal.

Surprisingly, Bill seems to have found interest in something much more striking.

You.

The nightmares subside, your mood and judgment improve, and Cipher finds a strange pleasure in this new side of you: much more alert, more talkative and wittier. You have your charm.

But it's your husband who pulls the reins. Bill gets it right away.

Evenings with you aren't exactly revelatory like they are with Ford, who always has enough data and information to surprise everyone with. With you it's different; it's something much more intimate and almost forgotten by Bill. He knows so much that it would be impossible to be taken by surprise—but you manage to do it.

He is overcome with a nostalgic and unpleasant feeling, but which ironically keeps him alive as he decides to lie to Ford.

Bill doesn't want to let you go. It's strange. Maybe he got used to another glaring presence besides Sixer? Torturing you a little more in silence to keep you under his care should not be a stupid thing to do at all.

Cipher encounters another particular feeling: curiosity. He needs to know why you know what you know; and what it is, above all else, that keeps you here.

What keeps you with so much power over him, Bill Cipher.

''Are you saying that I have tricks up my sleeve? I don't get it, doctor...''

''Oh! Oh, please,'' Bill interrupted, thunderous laughter bouncing across the room. ''You know I'm no doctor; the title is ridiculous.''

''Should I call you 'Mr. Cipher' instead?''

Bill held back a sigh, rubbing his eye for a moment before orbiting around you. If you had noticed, you didn't say or do anything. Your eyes, white as opaque pearls, remained fixed on a corner of the room.

''Since when did you know I wasn't a doctor? No, better yet, since when did you know I wasn't human?''

''Well, it's not quite like that either,'' you replied under a soft laugh. ''You just revealed to me that you are not human. As for the doctor thing... Well, don't take this the wrong way, but I don't think that dream therapies and transverse snoring with citrus scent induction while dipping my feet in spoiled milk is something a professional would recommend.''

Bill pretended not to be offended.

''Besides that,'' you continued, ''I know my husband very well. I know that he hides dangerous things down there, where I cannot reach by myself, just as I know everything that has been happening is not the product of chance.''

''Did you know all this time that your nightmares and fears have been my doing?''

‘’No, not really. You just confessed it to me.''

‘’Oh, come on!’’ Bill shook his fists in the air, abruptly remembering that you couldn't see him. It was strange, you seemed to know the world you inhabited even though your eyes wouldn't let you. The thought made the demon orbit around you again, returning in front of you. Opaque pearls; gaze lost in the open. "I've had a majestic revelation at this very moment! Do you want to hear it, or will your big, bold woman brain let you know in advance what I have to say?”

"I have a slight feeling you don't like me.”

“Yes or no!”

“Of course, tell me.”

"I have to assume you weren't born blind; this must be the product of an accident," Cipher began to say. "That would explain why the hell you do everything you do, and why the fuck you know where I am.”

"That's right, Mr. Cipher," you nodded. "I've had an accident, though I suppose you know that because you've infiltrated me. Either that, or my husband told you.”

"So you did know that I'm a demon?”

“You just—”

“Oh, shut up! Don't fucking say it again.”

Your coexistence with Bill becomes pleasant, despite the early revelation of his nature and his having been the cause of your misfortunes.

Cipher comes to believe that he may have been wrong; maybe you were stupid after all.

But that would be crazy! Unlike with Ford, with you the feelings are extremely nostalgic and warm. There is no trace of some kind of farce or genuine morbid interest behind your words. You believe everything you say.

Bill, who despite not sleeping or dreaming, being haunted by the memory of screams and an old distorted and flat reality, finds in your company a comfort zone that makes him delirious.

Sadly, your heart and your judgment is still tied to Sixer—as if that brainiac cared at all!

Bill begins to drive Ford crazy; he feeds him extensive knowledge, possesses him more often to enjoy the benefits, and then alters his memories, making it difficult for him to know what is truth and what is a lie.

Where he can no longer meet your needs, Bill is always there to dazzle you.

You jumped in your seat, feeling your husband's warm hands wrap around your neck. Fingers, rough from machines and dust, caressed your skin awkwardly, drawing a chuckle from you. His breath came to you from above, as if he had just sighed in delight at your reaction. When you felt him rest his hands on your shoulders, you slowly brought one of yours to caress the back of his. You felt him tremble.

''I thought you were sleeping?'' you asked with genuine interest. ''Is everything all right? All these days you've been doing the same thing.''

''Do you mind, beautiful?''

You stifled a laugh.

''No, Ford, your company would never be a bother to me... Are you smelling my hair?''

‘’I just can’t get enough of you.’’

You felt him circle your body, delineating one of the chairs near you so he could relax his body in it. You didn't last long without his hands—as soon as he resumed his seat, you felt his fingers intertwining with yours. This time it was more consistent and comfortable; not like all those days where it seemed like your husband had forgotten how to use his own body.

''Oh, dear! Seeing you with these two orbs of nerves and membrane is amazing! You look even more dazzling.''

Although the comments without any context or sense were still there.

''I'm not that great,'' you said with a small laugh. A little shy. Ford didn't used to give you so many compliments. “How's your project going?’’

‘’That thing? Good, very good. Excellent, my dear! Maybe you could see for yourself—oh, well, you can't,'' he guffawed. ''Right. Whatever! Hey, uh, can I ask you a question?''

‘’Y-Yeah, sure, honey.’’ You cleared your throat. ‘’What’s the matter?’’

''Hypothetical scenario. You're married, but you're not quite fulfilled. Suppose someone comes along who is much better than your husband,'' he explained. ''He's smart, funny, multifunctional, powerful, extra-dimensional, or very soon will be, and also very stylish!'' Silence. Moments later an exclamation. ''Do you have a favorite color? His favorite color is yellow!''

‘’I… I mean, sorry, but I actually don’t understand at all where’s the question.’’

‘’Don’t be silly! Would you leave your husband for this entity—excuse me, for this person?''

‘’What?’’

‘’The heck.’’

Another booming laugh, and though you tried to accompany it with your own, the sound that came from you was choppy and awkward. This exchange was strange.

''I can't find a reason to leave my husband for this so-called mystery person,'' you replied. ''I am supposed to have married him for a reason which should be more than enough. Ford,'' you rushed on, ''is this regarding Mr. Cipher?''

''Why?'' he asked at once. ''Why do you think of him all of a sudden? Do you feel something forbidden about him in this marriage?''

''But of course not!''

''What do you mean ‘no’?!’’

His hands let go of yours. The chair in front of you seemed to be dragged, the wood against the floor squeaking with the sudden friction. The movement had taken you by surprise.

‘’Ford?’’

''Why are you so happy? Why, huh?'' he sighed, frustrated. ''Haven't I abandoned you every night in a freezing bed, while I prefer the company of machines? Cipher has been very kind to you and kept you company!''

''Ford, what are you—wait. Wait a moment... Bill, is this you?'' You covered your mouth, terrified at the discovery. Your companion didn't respond and you simply let out a shaky breath. ''Are you possessing my husband?’’

‘’Damn, that was fast.’’

‘’That’s awful!’’

"There was full consent!" added Bill with a chuckle. "This is a man-to-man thing, my pretty little fleshbag. Something between colleagues, plain and simple. You needn't fear—Bill Cipher is taking care of everything.”

"But it's horrendous anyway!" you exclaimed with your voice splitting. "It all makes sense now... The words, the touches, the way you acted—it was all a sham! You were using my husband!”

"Oh, please, little one. Wasn't it you who dreamed of being able to touch me?”

"You, not a substitute class using Stanford's body! Have you two been doing these kinds of exchanges all along?”

"It's just that there was a change of plans!”

“A change? What—”

“I mean, I tried to kill you; but it's not that easy now,” he laughed.

You tried to calm your breathing. Your heart was beating painfully against your chest, and your whole body was trembling. This wasn't right, obviously. It was like a vivid nightmare.

“Not that I want to do it, of course.”

“Why?” you asked after a long silence.

You felt the presence of your husband's body very close to you. A pair of hands rested on your cheeks, caressing them with his fingers very softly; the touches getting lost under the trembling of your figure when you heard again a sigh of delight. Something was up.

“You know,” he whispered, “I think we could make a deal. A little, pretty one, and just for you.”

“A deal? A deal with a demon, you mean. No, thank you.”

“Oh, come on! It will be fun!”

“And it makes no sense.”

Bill turned away from you, returning to his chair to take a seat across from your body.

"What exactly is it that Ford gives you that I can't manage to satisfy? Because very soon the little project will be complete, and I will have full disposal of many wonderful tricks to take care of you, my dear," he continued. "An eternity together! We'll be able to create and tell thousands of new stories; to travel across the world and let you experience hundreds of new sensations. We'll be unstoppable! Incomparable!”

"That's not the way things work, Bill…”

"Things work because of the strongest. I will soon be the only one with that title.”

"What will happen to Ford?" you asked haltingly. "What will you do to my husband?”

"He's my co-worker, dear.”

"You're hiding something from me.”

"So what if it is? He doesn't matter here! It's our time... You're mine.”

The way your husband's voice was beginning to distort sent a shiver through your body. You loved Ford—you missed him. The idea that you had been kissing the lips of a man possessed a couple of days ago was turning your stomach. Your silence seemed to feed something inside the demon; his voice thundered, totally changed, across the room.

"A few weeks ago you said you missed the stars," added Bill. "The last time you saw them was when you were a teenager. I miss the stars too—the ones I saw with a different eye. It's not the same anymore. Nothing is, since..." Silence. You didn't dare interrupt the creature who seemed to be drowning in bitter memory. It took him a while to pull himself together; a split laugh piercing your ears like an arrow. "Oh, the misery! I thought it repulsive the way you two looked so united over something so pathetic. Anyway, what does the past matter now, what does misery matter! There's no such thing being with Bill Cipher. You'll want for nothing.”

"I refuse, Bill.”

"And I refuse too," he laughed. "See? We can play the same game, silly. I don't recommend testing my patience, though.”

The touch of palms against the warm skin of your neck took you by surprise. The roughness of those fingers you loved so much were now forbidding you to breathe; the softness of moist lips pressing against yours, taking advantage of the way you parted yours to find a sliver of air. You soon struggled against your husband's body, desperate to deny the foreign tongue that flicked unseemly and inexperienced inside you. Bill was drowning in an unfamiliar feeling that felt too good. You were soft, fragile. Your flesh was tender and warm, quivering like an animal about to die—he was going to devour it to the bone. Was this what Ford had been doing with you? You liked it?

He could kill you. He could end your life when the portal was complete; he could take advantage of Ford, as he had been doing all this time, and keep the prize all to himself. Why was it so hard? What was it you had done to him? Was Ford a victim too? The thought burned like a fierce fury at the back of his mind—jealousy once again. The need to own even the crumbs. Ford wouldn't have the right to be your victim anymore. This feeling was too good for that brainiac to understand, surely he never did.

But Bill understood everything. He was incomparable. He could dominate your life and hold the reins as well as Ford had been doing. No. Cipher was going to do better! Did you miss your husband's domination? Bill would be your ruler; he would destroy obstacles and build better ones to keep you in check. Maybe a little training and you'd become a beautiful little bag of flesh and muscle—tight, warm and obedient. And who knows if you'd end up exceeding his expectations! Who knows if a little gift occupying your orbs would give you the chance to enjoy the same star-studded sky together.

"Don't think too much," whispered Bill pantingly. "There's plenty of other things to do than something as dull as that. Don't worry your pretty little head.”

You shook your head, surrendered to crying. Your husband's hands had left your neck, but now they wrapped around your wet cheeks, offering shy caresses.

"From now on you're going to use it when I say so. Everything will be that way, and you know why?”

A crooked laugh vibrated against his chest, reaching you through his hands.

"Because now you will be my new pet. A special one! The best of them all… You could say ‘muse’, even. Isn't that beautiful, dear?”

A cold kiss. The last one.

“Aren't you, above all, beautiful too?”

[deception-united]

Hello! I've been enjoying your writing posts a lot. Here's my question: How do you exactly write a character profile? Getting one from the internet feels like feeling out a resume, but trying to create one myself leaves me hanging in with the question “what should I be putting here?”

Thanks for asking! Crafting a character profile can indeed feel like navigating a nebulous space, but it's a crucial step in fleshing out your characters and getting to know them better. Here's a breakdown of what you might include:

Basic information: Start with the essentials - name, age, gender, and any other pertinent demographic details.

Physical description: Provide a brief overview of what your character looks like. This could include height, build, hair color, eye color, distinguishing features (scars, tattoos, etc.), and typical clothing choices.

Personality traits: Think about your character's temperament, quirks, strengths, weaknesses, likes, dislikes, and any notable personality traits. Are they introverted or extroverted? Optimistic or pessimistic? Adventurous or cautious?

Background: Delve into your character's backstory. Where were they born? What was their upbringing like? Do they have any significant life events that have shaped who they are today?

Motivations & goals: What does your character want? What are their ambitions, desires, and fears? Understanding what drives your character can add depth to their actions and decisions within your story.

Relationships: Explore your character's connections with others. Who are their family members, friends, enemies, or love interests? How do these relationships influence your character's actions and emotions?

Skills & abilities: What is your character good at? What are their areas of expertise? Do they have any special talents or abilities that set them apart?

Character arc: Consider how your character will change and grow throughout your story. What obstacles will they face, and how will they overcome them? What lessons will they learn along the way?

Internal conflicts: What internal struggles does your character grapple with? These could be doubts, fears, moral dilemmas, or unresolved traumas.

External conflicts: What external challenges does your character face? These could be adversaries, societal pressures, or environmental obstacles.

Another thing I like to do is find an online personality test, like 16Personalities or Truity, and fill it out on behalf of my character. Both the process and the results can give further insight. Websites such as Campfire have full character profiles that you can complete. Or try filling out this character ask game!

Remember, this is just a starting point, and you can tailor your character profile to fit your specific needs and preferences (e.g., fighting style, fantastical conditions, supernatural abilities, character archetypes, interpersonal values, leadership style, phobias, habits, etc.). Feel free to add or omit sections as necessary, and don't be afraid to let your characters surprise you as you write!

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[tangents-within-tangents]

Hot take:

Crosshair does not have the Imperial disillusionment and redemption arc of The Bad Batch

Emerie does.

Crosshair has an arc for sure yes but it's not that.

I was thinking about this scene:

and how it got right what this scene kinda didn't:

(It was so close but then bad writing decided to undercut the moment with a joke rip)

And I think it's really interesting that these characters who were more or less raised into the Empire/First Order and chose to leave it are all directly asked why.

But take a look at Crosshair's answers in comparison:

Different context for the asking, yes, but still, compare that to clones like Howzer, Cody, Slip and Cade who left or turned against the Empire because they knew what the Empire is doing is wrong and they weren't just going to blindly follow orders:

Crosshair - Loyalty, Purpose, and Survival

Crosshair didn't choose to join the Empire (though the show isn't very clear or consistent about how much control the inhibitor chips have) but he did, for whatever reason, choose to stay. By the end of S1 we know his chip has been removed and as he definitively says "This is who I am." There were likely still other influences on his decision, but listen to how he talks about the Empire in the S1 finale:

Hunter: Crosshair, I've seen what the Empire is doing. Occupying planets and silencing anyone who stands against them. You know it's not right. Crosshair: You still don’t see the bigger picture, but you will. Hunter: Can't you see they're using you?

Crosshair: We’re not like the regs, we never have been. We’re superior. The Empire can’t protect the galaxy without strength, this is what we were made for. Think of all we could do, together!

Crosshair: You all are meant for more than drifting through the galaxy. It’s time to stop running. Join the Empire, and you will have purpose again.

Hunter: They destroyed an entire city! Crosshair: They did what needed to be done. Kamino, regs, the Republic, that time is over. The Empire will control the entire galaxy, and I am going to be a part of it. Hunter: Don't fool yourself. All you'll ever be to them is a number.

He undeniably knows what the Empire is doing, but he does not care. In fact it sure sounds like he actually supports it and finds self-meaning in it. Hunter spends those episodes trying to convince him it's wrong, he doesn't change his mind. In the end they offer him an out and he doesn't take it.

Wrecker: You coming with us? Crosshair: None of this changes anything. Hunter: You offered us a chance, Crosshair. This is yours. Crosshair: I made my decision.

The next we see Crosshair in "The Solitary Clone" (S2:E3) he follows orders and shoots the Desix governor, right after Cody heartbreakingly tries to do what's right and find a peaceful solution.

Cody: Tell me something, Crosshair. This new Empire, are we making the galaxy better? Crosshair: We’re soldiers, we do what needs to be done. Cody: You know what makes us different from battle droids? We make our own decisions, our own choices. And we have to live with them too.

After this (glorious!) conversation, Crosshair stays. Maybe this began to seed some doubts, but he actually smiles a few scenes later when Rampart assigns him another mission. It seems like for him it truly is as he said in S1:E1 (chip not enhanced yet but still influencing him enough for his brothers to notice he's acting strange):

Crosshair: Republic, Empire... what's the difference.

Crosshair: Orders are orders.

This unethical mission that finally pushed Cody over the edge does not change Crosshair's mind about the Empire, at least not enough for him to take action.

But what does?

Mayday: And here we are, the survivors. Combat troopers stuck babysitting cargo shipments. Crosshair: Mission’s a mission. Mayday: Yeah, I used to say the same thing.

Mayday: After all the clones have done, all we’ve sacrificed. We’re good soldiers, we followed orders. And for what?

This mission has nothing to do with how the fascist Empire treats the galaxy, it's about how they treat their soldiers. It's about how Mayday loyally fought and served his whole life and Lieutenant Nolan let him die

Lt Nolan: He served his purpose as a soldier of the Empire. Crosshair: You could have saved him! Lt Nolan: Perhaps you didn’t hear me, he is expendable, as are you.

Crosshair thought he could find purpose within the Empire, and Nolan shows him exactly what that will be.

His turning point is accompanied with this powerful visual of the ice vulture, a symbol (and threat) of death, and also set up within the episode a symbol of survival:

Mayday: Vicious creatures, but you have to admire ‘em. They find a way to survive.

This critical moment (that gives me chills, oof this episode is a masterpiece!) comes right after Nolan calls him expendable and directly threatens him:

Lt Nolan: And if you speak to me again with such disrespect I'll see to it you meet a similar fate, clone.

then Crosshair sees the vulture's shadow and turns to Mayday's dead body (ahh visual storytelling my beloved) then makes his decision:

Crosshair turns against the Empire not because he believes Hunter was right about this:

Hunter: I've seen what the Empire is doing ... You know it's not right.

but because he was right about this:

Hunter: All you'll ever be to them is a number.

Redemption (both in fiction and irl in my humble opinion) comes with making amends and reparations (which is why death 'redemptions' bother me so much but that's a rant for another time). Unlike Emerie, Crosshair never explicitly denounces the Empire or his own actions within it. He never says anything to specifically show if and how his views have changed from what he said on Kamino. He makes amends with his family (sending the warning message, helping Omega escape, making up with Hunter) but that's about it. The most we get in terms of acknowledgement is this:

Crosshair: I thought I knew what I was getting into with the Empire. I thought I was being a good soldier. Hunter: Nobody really understood what was happening back then. Crosshair: I’ve... done things. I’ve made mistakes. Hunter: I have regrets too, Crosshair. All we can do is keep trying to be better, and who knows there just might be hope for us yet.

Which is nice and all but it's more about them making up as brothers so it's way too excusing tbh ("no one knew what was happening back then" ummm? "The Empire will control the entire galaxy, and I am going to be a part of it" remember? And even if at first Crosshair was being controlled by the chip, the fact that he chose to stay after it was removed* means he condones and is therefore still accountable for those actions).

There's also a bit of self-destructive guilt:

Crosshair: Omega, don't risk anything for me. I belong in here.

Crosshair: Omega needs you both. So I’m doing this alone, it’s what I deserve. Hunter: Don’t even think about plan 99, Crosshair. Omega needs all of us.

(which thank you Hunter for pushing back on the death redemption bs and oh look is that a wrap up for the purpose thing?)

But there's no action taken on his part to make up for what he's done or to stand against the Empire (aside from the bare minimum of help with Tantiss, only after it became personally relevant, which like yeah he had trauma to deal with but still).

While I do think the implications/follow-up of Crosshair's turn should have been handled better in S3 (like rip Howzer! he deserved an apology, but that's a rant for another time), I don't necessarily** think this arc is a bad writing choice. It's just saying different things than we expect:

Maybe Crosshair's story is not about standing up against an unjust system, like we see with many other characters (who deserved more screen time but that's a rant for another timeeee). Maybe his story is about how even those who are loyal to the Empire, who actually believe in it, still suffer under and within it's rule. Not to garner sympathy, but to show that there is no winning.

Crosshair has another 'so what changed' convo in S3:E14 with Rampart, in which they draw parallels to each other:

Rampart: You used to believe good soldiers followed orders. Crosshair: Depends on who's giving them. The Empire betrayed us both. Rampart: And you think you can fight them? That's not you. You're like me, loyal to no one but yourself. Crosshair: I've changed.

(note how he says who's giving the orders, not what the orders are)

"Loyal to no one but yourself" describes Rampart much more than Crosshair, since we often saw Crosshair pride himself as a loyal soldier of the Empire whereas we saw Rampart abuse power to be self-serving within the Empire (like when he killed Wilco to save face). But they were both betrayed either way. Vice Admiral Rampart, snively Imperial opportunist through-and-through, shouts "I was following orders!" as he is arrested for the Empire's purposes. (Edit: and where Crosshair rejected the Empire and found new purpose fighting for his family, Rampart was still self-serving in the finale. He still tries to gain power for himself and he gets his comeuppance).

Even Hemlock, the final boss immoral Imperial scientist, who has to be benefiting the most from this system, echoes the expendability idea:

Hemlock: What I am working on is beyond your understanding. Something so vital to the Empire it makes me indispensable.

Then there's CX-2, also set up as a parallel/foil to Crosshair (fight me), who in the end is discarded as no more than a weapon, a tool that served it's purpose, showing us what would have become of Crosshair if he had stayed.

There is no winning in the Empire. Loyalty is not rewarded, it "doesn't go both ways." Everyone has to fight for their value. Even high ranking individuals** who for a time benefit from the injustice, in the end are just pawns to be used up and cast aside at a whim for the Emperor's gain. Even people who are motivated by self-interest alone cannot survive within this system, the only viable option in this galaxy is to fight the Empire and dismantle that system. (unless you conveniently find a magically safe island to hide away on but that's a rAnT fOr AnOtHeR tImE)

Which brings us back to...

Emerie - Cooperation, Compassion, and Choice

(Okay this post has already gotten away from me but I still want to talk about her to show the contrasts.)

Emerie may not have been given a lot of screen time to really flesh out her development, but there is a lot that is pretty clearly implied with her:

Crosshair: They’ll never turn her [Omega] over. Hemlock: They don’t have a choice. She is a clone, and therefore Imperial property. *Camera cuts to an angle more centered on Emerie’s face*

Crosshair: Give me your access card! Emerie: It won’t get you outside!

Emerie: I tried to warn him what would happen if he did not cooperate with the Doctor.

Emerie: Prisoner? Omega, you are no such thing. It will take time to adjust, but you will acclimate. It is far safer in here than out there.

Emerie: You should go back to your room. Crosshair: You mean her cell?

Emerie: Why children? Hemlock: Children are easier to attain and more agreeable to the subjugations. They are unaware of why they are here and what they possess.

Emerie: They're children. Like I was... Was your plan to discard them too? Nala Se: The Empire will keep them in order to control them.

We don't know a lot about Emerie's background, but it's clear that she had a lot less choice than Crosshair and less opportunity or ability to leave. Unlike Crosshair, we never directly hear Emerie's views of the Empire (and she was most likely 'taken under Hemlock's wing' before the Empire even came to power), but lets look at how she talks about the Tantiss:

"Remain calm. Cooperate and you might survive."

"Don't make this worse, Crosshair! There is no escape!"

"All of us serve a purpose here."

"The Doctor will inform me, if it's necessary."

"It's best not to ask questions."

"Escape is not possible, Omega. This is for your own good."

She honestly does the best she can within the system she is also trapped in. She tries to help Crosshair, Omega, and the vault kids in the only way she knows how (warns Crosshair about the hounds and security, tries to protect Omega from Hemlock, tells Scorch his "actions were extreme" with Jax, insists on overseeing Bayrn's retrieval, double checks his m-count (to give him an out), and tries to find out where he came from). When she gives Omega, and later Eva, the doll, I think it shows just how little she really is able to do here (and it's kinda heartbreaking imo).

The framing of this shot especially (after Jax's escape attempt) visually shows how Emerie herself is trapped/imprisoned:

Despite the fact that very little of this is Emerie's fault, she has very little power and she is doing all she can, the narrative does not excuse her role in the Empire:

Nala Se: What will you do, Emerie? Emerie: There is nothing I can do. I don't have that kind of power. Nala Se: Don't you?

Emerie: I- I was doing my job. Echo: Yeah, I’ve heard that before. You’re a clone. How can you be part of this?

These fighting-the-Bystander-Effect conversations parallel these exchanges:

Hunter: We made a choice, and so did you. Crosshair: Soldiers follow orders. Hunter: Blind allegiance makes you a pawn.

Crosshair: We’re soldiers, we do what needs to be done. Cody: You know what makes us different from battle droids? We make our own decisions, our own choices. And we have to live with them too.

which did not change Crosshair's mind. And honestly, all respect to Echo's disappointed mom glare™ but I think it's clear Emerie had already made her decision, she just needed help to actually be able to do anything about it. When she stopped Echo, with her voice wavering on the verge of tears (ahhh v good voice acting), she clearly had no intention of turning him in. She's on her own in the Empire's most secure facility with very little resources, if she had tried anything on her own she most likely would have failed and been killed

Omega: Emerie, you don't have to do this. Emerie: (sigh) I’m sorry, but I do.

but as soon as she is enabled by an ally, she immediately turns around to help: giving information and getting Echo through security, helping the kids escape, and giving Omega the tablet that allows them to free the other clone prisoners.

Where Crosshair's turn is accompanied by the symbolic imagery of the ice vulture, Emerie's is the removal of her (literally rose-tinted!) glasses:

Symbolizing how she has shed her previous views/indoctrination that altered her perception of the Empire and blinded her to it's wrongs. It's disillusionment.

Emerie's story shows us that even those who are raised and indoctrinated into this system can, should, and will escape (with needed help). Even those who did not choose to be apart of the Empire and are not making the decisions still have the responsibility and ability to act on what they know is right.

Emerie, whose name means 'Home strength' 'Brave' and 'Powerful', and "reflects the importance of leadership and authority in the workplace".***

While Emerie is only in one more scene after her turn, so the wrap up is a bit rushed, she still very simply does what Crosshair does not:

Emerie: Because I was wrong about this place. And I'm trying to do the right thing.

Echo: I’m sure Senator Chuchi would find what you have to say very helpful for our cause. Emerie: I have a lot to make up for. I’d like to help out however I can.

She admits wrong, takes accountability, commits to making amends, and leaves with Echo to go take on the Empire (which hopefully we will get to actually see more of some day).

So, in short, she's showing us how redemption is done right!

---

Notes:

*Whether this writing choice was good/logical/in-character or not is another discussion entirely, but I'm going off of what we were given, what the show is presenting in the canon text and (reasonably inferred/intentional) subtext. Crosshair is pretty multifaceted and I could only touch on so much here. There's a lot of ways to interpret his character/choices, but I tried to avoid the realm of speculation or fanon explanations (even if they sometimes make more sense lol).

**History and political theory are not my area of expertise at all, so I have NO idea how well this aligns with real-world fascism stuff and therefore what implications this storytelling choice could have. I think the message of like 'if you think you could survive or gain power by doing what the Empire/fascist system wants you are wrong' could be good (like how everyone is actually harmed by the patriarchy type of a thing), but I hesitate bc maybe there are those who would benefit, since it's a hierarchal system, right? If anyone more knowledgeable than me has incite to share, by all means

Either way, I do think it works in-story and in-universe though. It's just in the execution. The main problem (even from a strictly theme/character arc stand point) is the lacking follow-up/consequences for Crosshair in S3. Like you gave your character accountability by removing the chip and I think that's great setup for an arc but you gotta follow through with that and actually hold him accountable!

***I'm always curious when clones have 'normal' names, like why did they chose the name Emerie of all things? So I looked it up. Idk how reliable sources are for name meanings so take it with a grain of salt but it's still fun. Fits pretty well, and clones names have definitely had significant meanings in the past (like how Rex and Jesse both mean 'king') so I'm pretty sure it was intentional.

Anyway, thanks for coming to my tedtalk

[princesssarisa]

My post about whether or not Lydia should be saved from Wickham in modern Pride and Prejudice retellings has gotten more likes and reblogs than I expected. It's made me think of another possibility of why Austen didn't save her from him.

Presumably, Lydia and Wickham's marriage could have been avoided in only three ways that would have left Lydia's reputation intact. The first is if they had only been planning to elope, but it was prevented, as with Georgiana. The second is if they had been found earlier and separated before Lydia lost her virginity. Or else Lydia could have listened to Darcy and left Wickham, and then Darcy could have used his influence to protect her honor: e.g. by claiming that she was kidnapped, or by arranging a decent marriage for her.

If Austen had wanted to make any of those choices to free Lydia, she could have done it without drastically changing the plot. But if she had, it might have felt a bit too "literary" and unrealistic.

I've just been re-watching some of Dr. Octavia Cox's literary analysis videos on YouTube. They reminded me that Austen always loved to skewer the tropes and clichés of other literature, especially Gothic melodrama, whether in outright parody or in subtler deconstruction.

Dr. Cox's video on the elder Eliza's fate in Sense and Sensibility particularly highlights this trend in Austen. She argues that Eliza's story is a classic, clichéd Gothic melodrama (a beautiful orphan, an abusive uncle, thwarted romance, forced marriage to a cruel man, a "fall" into a life of "sin," and ultimate illness and death, all narrated by Colonel Brandon in heightened, poetic language), and that Austen's point in including it was arguably to highlight that this wouldn't be the fate of her heroines. Marianne comes close to it with Willoughby and with her near-fatal illness, but in the end she's saved. Austen's point was arguably to say "Yes, I know all about this type of melodrama, I know all the clichés, but I'm relegating it to the backstory, because that's not what I want to write."

(I don't know if everyone would interpret the elder Eliza's storyline this way, but it's how Dr. Cox reads it.)

Maybe with Lydia's fate, and with the backstory of how Georgiana was freed from Wickham, Austen was doing something similar.

I'm not enough of an expert on Georgian literature to know if the rescuing of girls from predatory men with their virginity and honor intact was a cliché or not. But it does appear in late 18th century comic opera. For example, Mozart's Don Giovanni: the title character is the ultimate womanizer, but he has no success with any of the women he tries to prey on over the course of the opera. His seductions are stopped by the timely, chance arrivals of his enemies, his victims get away unscathed, and he pays for his crimes with his life in the end. Or The Marriage of Figaro: the Count's designs on Susanna are thwarted, and he's humiliated and forced to beg his wife's forgiveness.

If stories of womanizers being thwarted and punished, and their female victims saved with virtue intact, were as common in the literature of the day as they are in opera from that era, then maybe Austen used Wickham and Lydia to deconstruct them.

We definitely see some skewering of poetic cliche in the fact that despite Mrs. Bennet's fears/hopes, Lydia's honor is saved with a bribe instead of a duel.

Maybe like the Eliza backstory in Sense and Sensibility, the backstory of Georgiana's near-elopement can be read as a more perfect "literary" example of a girl escaping a cad's clutches. The elopement was thwarted partly by pure chance, as Darcy paid a surprise visit just before Wickham and Georgiana meant to run off, and partly because Georgiana was a “good victim,” whose conscience got the better of her and who chose her family and honor over her whirlwind romance.

But similar luck isn't on Lydia's side, nor does she make the right, “virtuous" choices. Darcy doesn't find the lovers until Lydia has already been living with Wickham, and like a typical reckless teenager, she cares nothing for either her reputation or her family compared to her infatuation with him. So Darcy is forced to bribe Wickham to marry her, Wickham goes unpunished except that he loses his hope of marrying rich, and all the characters have to live with the results of the scandal for the rest of their lives.

By having Georgiana's successful escape from Wickham be mere backstory while foregrounding Lydia's lack of escape, maybe once again Austen was saying "I could have freed Lydia this way – I know the tropes other authors might have used to free her – but I'm a more cynically realistic writer than that, so I won't."

I have no idea if this is valid or not, but it's a theory.

[literaryvein-reblogs]

more commonly confused words

this time, with examples

affect vs. effect

Usually affect is a verb meaning "to influence," and effect is a noun meaning "result." But effect occasionally is used as a verb meaning "to bring about."

Example: Social activities may affect your grades, but the effect should be small!

than vs. then

Than is used to indicate a difference between two things and is usually used in the phrases “more than” or “less than.” Then indicates a sequence of events or items.

Example: The data indicates that Americans work more hours than Europeans.

Example: Add the butter then the sugar to make the cookie dough.

farther vs. further

Farther refers to additional distance, and further refers to additional time, amount, or other abstract matters.

Example: You may be further from an "A" than you think, so when you study, go no farther than the best place to concentrate.

loose vs. lose

Loose means that something is not firmly in place or could be removed easily. Lose means to no longer have something or to have misplaced it.

Example: This bracelet is loose on my wrist; I hope I don't lose it again.

its vs. it’s

Its is the possessive of “it,” and unlike other possessives, does not use an apostrophe. It’s is the contraction of “it is” or “it has” and is never used to mark the possessive. 

Example: It’s been many decades since the college changed its graduation requirements.

less vs. fewer

Less refers to bulk amounts and uncountable items, or nouns that can’t be quantified by just putting a number in front of them. Fewer refers to countable items, or nouns that can be quantified just using a number.

Example: After inventory, there are fewer guavas and less flour than we ordered.

entitled vs. titled

Entitled means to have a right to do or have something. Titled refers to the name or label of something.

Example: I feel entitled to own this book, because it is titled “Dimitri” and that’s my name also.

between vs. among

Between is used when two things are concerned (the word comes from "by twain" in Middle English), while among is used when more than two things are concerned.

Example: Between you and me, these mistakes are common among all of us.

feel vs. think

In common usage, feel means to sense, to be emotionally affected by something, or to have a general or thorough conviction. Think means to use reason or to examine with the intellect.

Example: I think that you can write better than you have, though I feel encouraged by the improvements in your writing.

which vs. that

Use that in restricting (limiting) clauses: "The rocking chair that creaks is on the porch." In this sentence, one rocking chair is singled out from several – the one that creaks.

Use which in nonrestrictive (in effect, parenthetic) clauses: "The rocking chair, which creaks, is on the porch." In this sentence, the fact that the rocking chair creaks is tossed in; it is not added for the purpose of identifying the one chair out of several. 

Important Note: Use who for people, in both restrictive and nonrestrictive clauses.

A technique that can improve your writing is proofreading, which can show you unintentional errors.

since vs. because

Since is often used to mean because: "Since you ask, I'll tell you." Its primary meaning, however, relates to time: "I've been waiting since noon." Most people now accept since in place of because; however, when since is ambiguous and may also refer to time ("Since he joined the navy, she found another boyfriend"), it is better to say because or after, depending on which you mean.

Example: Because you are intelligent and careful, your writing has improved since the beginning of this course.

commonly confused words part 1

[howtofightwrite]

Missing an Eye

So, a weird note, I can't find this ask anymore. I think it might have been deleted. Anyway, that contributed to the delay in getting this live on Tumblr tonight.

EDIT: I just found the ask. I answered this on Monday. I am deeply sorry for reposting the ask again. This has been a hell of a week, and this just goes to show how fried my brain is from the stress.

So, again, mea culpa. I did not mean to spam out this post again.

Hello! Thanks a ton for all the work you guys do! It's been very helpful to read through your blog and adjust how I write action. What would you say is the best weapon for someone with depth perception issues in a pretty straightforward fantasy setting? I've got a character with horrible depth perception, but he's in a position of power/influence where he needs to be armed and can't always have guards around.

Depending on the level of sophistication, I'd say that's a pretty good setup for an enchanted prosthetic eye. Depth perception does effect melee combat, but the loss of peripheral vision is probably the more pressing issue.

Really, the time when depth perception becomes a serious consideration is with ranged weapons, where judging the appropriate fire arc is as important as the horizontal angle.

Intuitively, your audience is more likely to recognize that depth perception is likely to be an issue with polearms, more than blades or axes. Then again, a lot of readers often won't really pick up on a character's loss of depth perception as important (even in situations where it is.)

I suspect that a dagger would be the weapon that suffered the least from a loss of depth perception, if the character is using it as an assassination tool, rather than getting into actual combat. Failing that, a sidesword of some variety would probably be one of their better options if they did find themselves in full on combat, though, as mentioned, the loss of peripheral vision on the side with the missing eye would be a more severe vulnerability, especially in mass melee.

Now, the best weapon for someone missing an eye is a retinue of well trained and loyal soldiers who know that your character's experiences make them more valuable as a leader than as just another fighter. That is somewhat how this visual coding works for characters. So, while it's possible that this is some loner, very often that eye patch doubles as a bad of senority.

Also, it is worth considering that someone may wear an eyepatch specifically to prevent night blindness in that eye, when they expect to transition between bright and dark areas in quick succession. One (possibly apocryphal) example were marines who expected to fight below decks during boarding actions during the Age of Sail. Being able to flip up their eyepatch as they went below decks would help reduce the advantage that defending sailors with acclimated vision would enjoy.

-Starke

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[alchely]

My Top Gallavich fics

So, under the advice of the lovely @iangallagherisadeadman I've decided to compile a favorites Gallavich fic list along with a brief rec of each, this won't be a strict top 10 cause I'm not gonna torture myself into excluding some of these stories on some made-up self imposed arbitrary rules.

A bunch of disclaimers: most of these fics are long fics, going from 30k words up, I'm not purposefully excluding shorter fics, I have read plenty of them, but they do have a harder time sticking in my head months after reading.

Most of these fics will be explicit, just read the tags on the fic itself if you want to find out more.

Some of these fics don't have links because the authors chose to lock them and as such make them unlinkable, in order to read them you will need to go through the author's page while you're logged in your AO3 account.

This ended up ballooning out of control and is A LOT longer than ten fics, I apologize in advance :p.

YOU'LL NEVER SEE US AGAIN – spoonfulstar - 231k words

Mickey and Ian have been students at Marceline boarding school their whole lives, as their time at the institute draws toward the end they will start to discover many things, about themselves, about each other and about the world they live in.

THIS FIC! I CRIED! The number of fanfiction that are able to make me cry can be counted on a singular hand, the emotional stakes get higher and higher as the story goes on, leading to a beautiful and bittersweet climax.

This story will make you think and feel deeply about topics you'd never think a shameless fic would delve into.

I am obsessed with Mickey in this fic, he and Ian grow up in an environment that could not be more removed from South Side Chicago and yet his personality is still so recognizably and distinctly Mickey.

The story goes very dark at times, and the fic itself could be considered lengthy, but I assure you the author has made sure to not make you feel it. Those 200k words flowed so well the story did not feel long at all.

HELP ME (TEAR DOWN MY REASON) – wehangout - 34k words

Mickey is a detective and Ian becomes a suspect in an investigation except Mickey already knows him because he's his favorite dancer.

This fic falls under the umbrella of fics where “Mickey is so in love with Ian he does something unbelievably crazy”.

Oooh boy, this fic, it's written in second person (yes you've read that right), tbh out of all fics I've read from this author I think this one was the easiest to adjust mentally to the change in perspective.

I loved Mickey’s “love” in this, just… This raw connection to Ian, the perfect cocktail of feelings, I could read that all day long.

IN ANOTHER WORLD – Roryonic - 249k words

Mickey does not get sent to prison at the end of S5, what happens after and how his presence influences future events (mostly Ian, but also every other Gallagher as well as his own family).

As far as I'm concerned this fic is the closest to a perfect S6 and beyond fix-it. The dialogue writing in this story is so close to canon Shameless that I could picture entire scenes in my head with the actors playing the characters, with their body and personality quirks.

Sometimes I find myself describing this fic like it's the actual show's deleted scenes, “Look, Mickey has his own storyline! And Mandy is here! And the existence of Yevgeni does not become a plot hole!”

There are some Mickey lines in this fic that to me are as canon as if they'd been in the show. Absolutely iconic writing.

I love this author so here's a rec of some of their other longfics, however I highly suggest a lot of their other much shorter stuff as well:

BATTLESHIPS AND LOVE BOATS: Ian and Mickey start their “no strings attached” kind of sex relationship a little later than canon but their attraction and love is just as strong. This is a sort of High School AU that turns into a Prison AU that turns into something else and every shift is just as lovely as the next.

YOU SMELL LIKE LOVE: Ian and Mickey are childhood friends, to the point that the rest of the Gallaghers might as well consider Mickey a seventh brother, mmmh, I sure wonder how things will start to change. Look, I never thought I'd love a childhood friends AU for Gallavich yet here I am, if it's good it's good.

ME AND THE DEVIL: Mickey unconsciously calls for a vengeance demon and Ian Gallagher shows up at his door, because Mickey is a stubborn dumbass they fall in love instead. This story has a lot of twists and turns and the premise is only the very beginning of the story. I LOVED it!

THE INCREASINGLY POOR DECISIONS OF IAN GALLAGHER – Shamelessquestions - 309k words

Ian is a dancer in a club, he accidentally gets involved in the affair of a dangerous mafia don, but the true danger is the attraction he and the mafioso’s right hand Mickey feel for each other as soon as they meet.

What. A. Classic. Truly, an unforgettable story, and I don't mean this in hyperbole, I read this story around… 2016/2017 during my second round in the Shameless fandom, then I read countless other fics in a lot of other fandom and yet this story was the only one that my mind retained from back then, to the point that I could still remember some of the finer details as well as the final plot twists when I came back to reread it.

The plot is constructed beautifully and the original characters (part of the Shamelessquestions fanfiction universe, as they come back time and time again in every one of their AU to fulfill their role in the story) are just as vibrant.

What a story, truly.

Favorite original character in this AU: Sal, his downfall is so satisfying and yet so pitiful to read.

TEENAGERS SCARE THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF ME – Mellow_Yellow - 221k words

Ian finds something scary and calls Mickey for help, even though they had only reconnected that very day after two years of not seeing each other. Together, they get sucked into a situation they weren't at all prepared for. Can they even admit that they're in over their head?

The very beginning of this fic is SO cinematic it grabbed my interest from the very first scene and didn't let go until the end, DO NOT search for spoilers.

The only warning I'll give is that it does deal with a bit of gore and what I'm personally gonna define as slight psychological horror. That's it. Enjoy!

BROKE STRAIGHT BOYS – dancermk - 66k words

Mickey becomes a porn actor for a site where he has to pretend he's straight and not enjoying the copious amount of gay sex he's having on camera, enter Ian, another actor under the same agency and their off the chart physical chemistry.

This story has, needless to say, some really, really good smut. I especially loved their first time together, but every sex scene in this story is seared in my mind.

ETHERIZED AGAINST THE SKY – Snarfle - 213k words

So, I debated whether I should add this fic or not, but I think if there is one fic that will stay in my mind long after this Shameless binge of the past couple of months it's this one, and it should absolutely become one of those fic that everyone in the fandom should read.

After Mickey gets shot by Kash his life takes a completely different direction and he ends up in a group home where, through many difficult times, he turns his life around.

So many iconic moments in this fic, some funny as fuck, some sad, some so absurd that I'm surprised they weren't lifted straight from Shameless, one so gruesome in the very first chapter that I was surprised to have such a visceral feeling from just words on a screen. Yeah, this story will stay with me for a long time.

OLD RULES FOR NEW SIDE PIECES – Shamelessquestions - 217k words

Ian is a Fed and he spots Mickey looking suspicious in an art museum, the mutual attraction is overwhelming, Mickey is not what he seems and Ian is already with someone else, but that's not gonna stop him from pursuing what he and Mickey have.

Putting it as bluntly as I can, this fic made me face the realization that I love cheating fics (if the cheating happens to someone else to bring together the endgame couple). I have already reread this fic twice and I could probably go for another one and not get tired of it, it's that good, and out of all this author's fics it's probably my favorite.

Favorite original characters in this AU: It's a three way tie between Dre, Ivan and Carrie, they're all very captivating in this story.

Other fic from this author I'd recommend cause I really love their style:

LOST IN TRANSLATION: Ian meets a very attractive man while he's in Ukraine who doesn't speak English, a mere language barrier won't stop him from flirting for hours. (adorable)

YOU MAKE ME FEEL HUMAN – Dragona - 66k words

Ian is an assassin, he meets Mickey and thus begins a very sick love story.

To say I'm obsessed with this fic is an understatement, I suggest to everyone to just go read the original author’s own description of the fic, it sets the tone of the story magnificently.

This is an Ian Gallagher that almost resembles Jerome (also played by Cameron in Gotham) but like… a slightly more subdued and saner S1/S2 version of him. I love the layers that get peeled right in front of my eyes, the madness that creeps in a bit more every chapter. I LOVE this story.

DRIED INK - 87k words

This fic combines my two favorite Gallavich-specific tropes, one being ‘Mickey comes back from prison after s6, Ian is with someone else’ and ‘Ian cheats on that someone else for Mickey’

I love the Gallaghers in this and how unsurprised they are at Ian going back to Mickey right away. It's a little jewel of a fic.

Mickey tries SO hard to stop himself and Ian in this but their love is too magnetic, they're irresistible to each other.

THE QUESTION OF NORMAL – blue_newman - 92k words

Ian is a prison counselor, Mickey is in prison, they fall in love and it's beautiful and Ian is incredibly devoted to Mickey in this fic and I fell in love with them both in this.

KINDA RAW – catgrassplantdad - 6k

Quite simply this is my favorite short pwp fic.

Illustrating those “five times” in one night that Mickey references in 11x01.

This fic is so hot, I love it <3

QUATERVOIS – DodgerBear - 51k words

Soldier Mickey gets stationed in the middle of nowhere and meets a farmer called Ian who makes him question everything.

Falling under the same umbrella of “Mickey does something crazy for Ian” fics and this is why it stuck in my mind even if it's been a while since I've read it.

I LOVE this story, their dialogues and everything that happens in it. The setting is lovely and you will fall in love with the description of Ian’s farm.

Other fic by the same author that I also loved:

BURDEN OF PROOF: Cop Mickey gets caught in a legal battle between the two oldest Gallagher brothers, something doesn't feel right though…

THE WORDS HE DOESN'T SAY: Mickey is released before Ian in s10 and has to meet a court-mandated therapist. The story is from the therapist POV and goes AU from the beginning of s10 in that Mickey gets involved back into Yev and Svetlana’s life, the dialogue is, quite obviously, the main attraction of the story and it's really well done. (Also, written in first person).

THE MENAGERIE – CrossMyDNA - 147k words

Ian decides to re-explore his bdsm preferences at The Menagerie where he meets sub extraordinaire Mickey on his very first visit.

Shameless is undoubtedly the fandom that opened my eyes to what bdsm could be back in… approx 2016? When that other popular bdsm fic was still around *ahem*.

So it definitely feels like a sign that coming back into the fandom this fic now exists and is SO GOOD.

Obviously it's very explicit, the smut in this fic is one of the best I've ever read.

The chemistry between Ian and Mickey sizzles off the screen and can absolutely be felt even in moments not of the nsfw variety, absolutely recommended!

MICKEY MILKOVICH’S GUIDE TO FLIRTING – whatwouldmickeydo - 40k words

An s2 “missing moments” between Gallavich, completely canon compliant, all under the pretense that Mickey is following a step by step guide to flirting.

I wish this fic was describing canon moments, not kidding a single bit, I wish I could somehow magically manifest these scenes into existence they're that good and fit that well into canon.

M8TE – gallawitch - 53k words

Omegaverse fic where Ian and Mickey both start using an app and end up matching with each other, even though a connection is made almost instinctively, coming to terms with it with a sound mind will take a bit longer…

Hey,had to have at least one of these on here lol

I love omegaverse and this was everything I wanted from it, couldn't have asked for anything better really <3.

SHACKLED – MyRelapse - 19k words

Ian has a change of heart and he decides that Mickey IS the one he wants, even if he's still in prison, so he keeps in contact and goes through every hoop imaginable to have him back as soon as possible.

Reading this made me so happy like I could burst, love it.

WAITING ON MY OWN TOO LONG – Ride4812 - 266k words

This rec more than any other on this list is what I'm gonna consider self indulgent because it covers the trope I always craved to read in such a satisfying way: Canon AU where Mickey comes back from prison after 8 years, Ian has found someone else but the moment the two meet again they fall back into each other right away.

The series is made up of 4 smaller fics:

One more night

Something more this time

No more lonely nights

Ain't this life so sweet

(I will point out here and nowhere else that the last installment of this series has some segment that probably needed to be re-read a couple more times, but by that point I was too invested, and the quality fluctuates a lot only in certain parts)

The writing style is very direct and to the point, which I love, the smut is very present and written beautifully and most importantly never boring.

Ian is a MESS in this fic and had me Stressed™, mostly cause for some reason I can't handle too much casual depiction of drug abuse and addiction (I know, ironic considering the fandom).

Conflicts and resolutions are never clean cut, they don't necessarily resolve quickly or definitely or the way you probably imagine they should and I find this level of realism very satisfying.

Taking a bit of space here at the end to also rec a couple other Ride4812 fics that I also loved:

COUP DE FOUDRE - A model/photographer AU where Ian and Mickey fall in love the instant they meet and do some crazy things because of that.

HOPE HE MIGHT - A lawyer AU where Ian and Mickey are on opposing sides for the same client, an interesting murder mystery steeped in a religious cult.

Generally I feel like this author is really good at depicting just how unapproachable Mickey can be to anyone that isn't called Ian Gallagher and I eat it up every time.

WHAT THE NIGHT DOES TO THE DAY – andchaos - 9k words

A Gallavich childhood friends AU with a quite original arrangement for the story and the various segments of their lives. Very satisfying read.

RANSOM – BeckyHarvey29 - 112k words

Terry sends his sons to kidnap a Gallagher child to force Frank into paying back the money he owes, unfortunately for him Mickey and his brothers kidnap Ian, and a whole other kind of story unfolds.

Mickey and Ian falling in love in this fic is such a good read. I don't wanna spoil anything of how that or the kidnapping plot goes, since the two are so intertwined. Just know that it will be worth it.

UNDER LOCK AND KEY – Suzy_Queue - 106k words

Ian is assigned the night shift at his new job where he provides spare keys to his fellow college students stuck outside their dorm rooms. To make matters worse his shift coworker is the oh so infamous Mickey Milkovich.

I am magnetized by the way this author writes their pining for each other, their attraction and obsession, how it blooms and unfolds. This fic in particular had me develop a very bad case of tunnel vision, couldn't really turn away until I finished reading it all.

I still haven't read everything this author has to offer, but so far I also loved:

INHUMAN: A mysterious force starts attacking people close to Mickey and it all seems to lead to a mysterious redhead Mickey is oh so coincidentally obsessed with. Very cool paranormal story.

THESE FOOLISH GAMES: Mickey takes over as the boss of the local branch of a trampoline park, where Ian is one of the employees, they annoy each other to no end but what they don't know is that they're secretly texting each other.

IS THERE SOMEWHERE – andchaos - 48k words

Mickey is born with no words on his skin, convinced he's going to live a life of misery cause no one will ever say the words he's destined to hear, he's not a very happy guy. Here comes mute boy Ian who crashes into his life and won't let go.

A classic Soulmate AU, I love that like in a lot of other Gallavich fics their physical connection and compatibility usually comes before their emotional one, it is one aspect that I feel distinguishes their relationship to many other fandom’s ships.

LAST NIGHT AT THE VERONA GRAND HOTEL – the_rat_wins - 27k words

Mickey starts working at an ancient hotel who's supposedly haunted. Mickey doesn't believe in ghost stories, he is much more interested in this one guest he meets at night during his shift.

What a cinematic experience this fic is! Absolutely recommended, the length of it makes it so you can read it in the same time it would take to watch the same story in movie format.

Other fics by the same authors that have impressed me:

FADE THIS ONE TO BLACK: Ian dies of overdose in a pile of snow outside the club, when Mickey finds him there he vows to do anything to get him back.

I don't know why but this fic in particular gives off the vibes of being a pilot for a ya urban fantasy TV series, except we gotta imagine everything that comes after the first episode lol

NO LIE: Ian and Mickey are Soulmates and as such they can't lie to each other. This series is short and sweet and full of feelings, perfect

PARAGRAPHS – pink_ink - 100k words

Ian becomes a reading tutor for ex-convicts, Mickey is among them and Ian starts paying him more and more attention.

This is a story where they meet under very different circumstances and where they've lived slightly different lives compared to canon and yet they're still able to find each other in the end.

Also, sign me up for every fic where Ian has to work just as hard to help Mickey and care for him as the opposite, where Ian's brand of stubbornness is the only way to get through to Mickey.

I'm also adding a couple of ongoing fics, just two to not overwhelm too much.

NONE THE WISER – Loftec - ~218k words

Ian starts visiting Mickey’s diner, it takes a while and yet no time at all to warm up to each other.

I'm captivated by the author's writing style. I love Ian's and Mickey’s relationship. I love how they sort of take their time and yet pine helplessly for each other.

I'm obsessed with the fact that the whole point of the fic doesn't appear until two thirds of the way in cause the diner scenes were just too good to pass up on lol (and I 100% agree with them).

INTRO TO QUANTUM DATING – spoonfulstar - ~563k words

Canon Mickey and Ian meet in University. A college slice of life but drenched in the casual (and not so casual) darkness of canon shameless.

The dark humor in this is fenomenal and left me gasping laughing so many times.

Unexpectedly Ian in this fic is pursuing a linguistics oriented degree, which was what I studied when I tried university, the topics are explained in such an accurate way I have to assume the author studied them themselves and that this story is somewhat a reimagining of their own college experience because if not this would be an absurd amount of accurate research to make.

Reading this fic feels like living through the American college experience from the comfort of my home lol.

As I said before, this author's way of writing does not weight you down even with its length, the story flows perfectly from one scene to the next and before you realize it you've reached the end and you have to accept that 500k words weren't even enough.

Let's end this list with some quick recommendations

WHILE WE'RE MAKING OTHER (PEOPLE'S) PLANS - kyasticlikestea

Mickey is volunteered to organize someone's else's wedding after he managed to salvage his own so well, he'll do it, but his own Southside way.

THIS IS THE ROAD TO RUIN - bricoleur10

Ian and Mickey never go to rob Ned, the story unfolds differently from there. A fix-it with a lot of Gallavich longing , very good smut and some really good dialogue.

HEY, HONEY MINE (I WAS THERE ALL THE TIME) - serveteas

Mickey talks about his crush with Iggy and accidentally pronoun-slips. Short, to the point, funny af and I just really love it. Takes place after their fight at Kash’n Grab in s2.

AGAINST GLASS - AllThatMatters

Ian gets traded from one club to another as a dancer (and more) and ends up in the Milkovich family's club. This is a Mafia!Mickey story with some pretty tight sub-plots, I love his brothers in this.

ONE OF A KIND - fckyeahgallavich

Mickey breaks his finger and it has to be set in the hospital, chaos - of the homophobic kind - ensues. Protective!Ian, I wanna hug Mickey in this.

IAN THE FRIENDLY GHOST - Ravenheart

Ian is haunting an apartment and Mickey starts living in it, Ian is maybe starting to have a crush on him. This isn't angsty!

BLOOD IN, BLEED OUT - brewrosemilk, Whatsastory

Historical AU. Perfectly innocent bystander Ian Gallagher is thrown into the affairs of the Ukrainian Mafia back in 1954, his relationship with Mickey will span decades and he won't remain innocent for long, the mafia can corrupt anyone.

TEENAGE RUNAWAY - sadwhales

Ian comes to live and finish high school with his half siblings on the South Side, he's immediately captivated by a boy sitting under the bleachers, maybe his North Side naivety will catch his attention too.

GARDEN SONG - melwrtiesthings

A glimpse into their lives in their West Side apartment, a lot of initial angst due to a manic episode and then a lot of recovery and healing and learning more about themselves.

[songbirdseung]

chapter closing / park sunghoon

Synopsis: a series of awkward encounters with your ex who happens to also be an idol under hybe.

Pairing: idol!sunghoon x idol!yn

Warnings: angst, break ups, second chances, being followed at night, pranks, scheming behind backs

a/n: this is a long one, I got carried away with how fun I was having while writing it.

Fate, the unfolding of circumstances outside of an individual's influence, believed to be dictated by a divine force. That's what you believed when it came to your relationship with Park Sunghoon.

In the very beginning, you thought that fate was kind to you enough that it brought you to him or vice versa. Something told you to walk the line, despite the obstacles and in the end, you were given you the love of your life but so viscously have him taken away from you.

"YN, Let me in" your boyfriend said in a hurried way, most likely not wanting to get caught by dispatch and stalkers outside your dorm. You run to the door and open it and closing it as quickly as you could. "What are you doing here, are you insane?" both of you knew that if anyone to find out, your careers would be dead, and so after, you two as well.

But let's start from the beginning, 10 months before you became a trainee, a friend of yours wanted to meet at a skating rink, it was a fun, but it didn't stop there. After dropping her home, which was only a few blocks away, you just then noticed how late it has gotten and the sun was no longer up. But the moon was giving you enough light to realize there was someone following you, the streetlights that flicker did not help the ambiance and the anxiety that was creeping in you.

You started walking faster and constantly looking back, he was still behind you. Making turns only made your suspicions become a reality. He was now walking faster and coming closer to you.

At this point, you thought to run but before you could do so, another man your age comes up running behind you. "Babe, there you are, I've been looking all over for you" the guy says louder for the other man to get the message. "don't worry, I'm just trying to help you" this time he whispers it.

Later after that, he still accompanies you on your walk home just to make sure no one follows you. He tells you that his name is Sunghoon and asks why you were out so late. "Oh really, I'm actually a figure skater, I go to that rink every day."

A friendly conversation between you two was put to a stop when you reach your parent's house. "Thank you so much, Sunghoon. I really owe you one" He denies it and tells you everything was alright, but you insist, so you exchanged numbers and he watch you cross the line, walking over to the side of the road.

Sunghoon did not expect to save a girl that night but even more, he did not expect to receive the invitation from you, to go to the cafe your family owns. A week after, when is schedule is clear and he has time for himself, he finally stopped by the cafe.

Hearing the doorbell ring, you greet the customer without looking up, as you were still making an order. "So, you don't look at your customers when you greet them?" to say you were drunk and dazed was an understatement. Sunghoon didn't reach out or replied to you, so you thought he never ever was going to show up. "My bad I didn't want to spill the coffee I was making." ending it with a chuckle.

Since then, your acquaintance with Sunghoon turned into a friendship that felt too good to be true. In a short amount of time, you let him see you in your worse and vice versa. Like the time when you got a fever, and he came over to your apartment because your parents went on a business trip. Despite your rebuttal and telling him you could take care of yourself; he missed a skating practice to be with you. "you're still pretty even when you're sick" he whispers under his breathe think you didn't hear him. "What was that?" flustered, he faces you again "Nothing, I said you look so horrible" then went back to play games on your console.

He definitely gave you mixed signals as he became very flirtatious with you and go the extra mile for you, beyond friendship. For example, when he rode a bus for basically the whole day just to find your favorite snacks that were not for sale in your local area anymore. Or when he would get jealous when another man asks you out or when you tell him about a date you went on. When asking him about it, he'd say that you just got it all mixed up. Either way, Sunghoon felt like he was sucked into a wormhole with how the first moments with you felt like an instant and intense connection, almost as if you've known each other for a long time even though you've just met.

It was hard to make that transition of friendship to relationship because you had the idea if you two were ever to break up, you wouldn't just lose your lover but a best friend. He showed up at your parents' house holding 'forget me not' flowers asking if you would go on a date with him. With that gorgeous smile, you could not say no.

He was determined to make you his, nothing made him wary, and he was set in making you believe that nothing can ruin the bond you had together, even sacrificing his safety driving in the snow in a complete whiteout. One day, you left the city to go on a short break, away from work and all. Although you had to admit that you were getting scared by the strong winds and heavy snow fall. What did Sunghoon do? drive to you and keep you company in the Airbnb, of course.

The second he finished reading your message he tamed and dashed to the Airbnb and swooped you into his arms. "Just say you missed me and wanted me here with you." being with you made Sunghoon feel like he was the upper side of life, dreaming. "Just a little bit"

Down the line, everything felt like it came straight out a fairytale, until one day when you were met with the option to go big and go home, you chose to go home and cause the first big argument you would share with your boyfriend. At this point it has been a year since the start of your relationship and 2 years since the day you first met. You two were discussing the trajectory of your relationship and how you two were going to make a big sacrifice for the career paths you both were going to take. Being a trainee in a K-pop industry is one of the strictest and maybe one the busiest jobs to have, and to have you both want to audition. Where was this relationship heading?

Everything was perfect, a blockbuster if you will. You believed the universe and fate brought you here, to him. So, why was it also the one to lead you away from him? "Babe, your attention, please?" Sitting on the opposite end of the bed, he holds your hand and tries to keep it together. "Can we just try to make it work, cause right now it seems like you just want to give up without even trying" your voiced cracked in between the words since you were crying but the emotions were controlling you than you were controlling it. You had to ask him the question if he even loved you, it was rude to ask but the situation felt like you were blessed and cursed at the same time. Getting the email that the company both wanted you two for a second audition felt like a blessing but looking at the love of your life right now felt like a reminder how the world put a curse on you.

The next following days, in between your practice days, you found yourself locked inside your room, alone. Looking at a box of pictures of you and Sunghoon, but the one that caught your eye the most was the polaroid you took of him when he was practicing his routine for his ice-skating performance. Your own little polaroid love.

Day 2 finally arrived, and day 2 meant the second day of auditions. You were standing in line for the female applicants and adjacent to you was your boyfriend. He was silent next to you since this was the first time seeing you after the little dispute you both had the other week. But he was still holding your hand and giving you comfort since he knew you were nervous, soon enough your name was called and before you could walk away and let go of his hand, he pulls you back and kisses you on the forehead and whispers, "I'll always be your biggest fanboy."

Fast forward to when you both became trainees for Be:Lift Lab under HYBE Entertainment. You supported him when he was on I-Land, and he supported you. Both of you tried your best to make time for each other and sneak around during work hours, you though everything was fine until he brought you over to one of studios to talk.

"Sunghoon, what's wrong?" Your voice trembled, betraying your fear of the answer you already feared deep down.

Sunghoon took a deep breath, steeling himself against the pain he knew his words would inflict. "YN, we need to talk," he began, his voice barely above a whisper, as if afraid to shatter the fragile peace between you both. Heart clenched at the seriousness in his tone, at the distance you felt creeping between the two of you. "Is it about us?" He nodded, unable to meet her gaze. "I… I can't do this anymore, YN," he confessed, each word tearing a piece of his soul apart. "I thought we could keep this secret, but… but we were caught."

Tears welled up in your eyes, a silent testament to the pain that threatened to consume you. "I don't understand, I thought… I thought we could make it work."

Sunghoon shook his head, his heart breaking at the sight of her anguish. "I wish we could, YN. I wish I could defy everything and everyone just to be with you. But I can't risk my dreams, my career… not anymore."

That was it, all the effort you put into keep the future perfect, went down the drain. It was all now feeling like a paradox invasion with how you had to walk away in order to gain more.

Since then, you have been changing your efforts of "being with him" to efforts of "avoiding him at all costs". That feeling when you would take the longer route as long as you did not bump into him in the hallways and even taking the stairs instead of the elevators, so you did not have to stay in that small space with him.

One day as you were choosing a song for your monthly evaluation, your adviser gave you a song. You agreed that it did suit your voice very much and it was easy to sing but the thing was the song was basically a shout out to an ex-lover that was deeply cherished and love. Wishing that this foreshadow of a song showed up a month before, so it prepared you for the unfortunate event you faced.

Eventually, you both made your debut. Everything changed except the awkwardness between you two. And today's event did not help with that. "YN, can you on that, I need the light" your group member asks, but you weren't listening. Too busy looking at the text your manager sent you.

Manager: You'll be a MC with ENHYPEN's Sunghoon

"Oooh, being an mc with your ex-boyfriend. That's interesting" the same member looks over at you, worried. "Maybe fate wants you two to work it out?" Scoffing and replying back with a sassy answer of how fate is a bunch on nonsense and how it screwed you over last time. She chuckles and resorts to teasing you about your new MC job with Sunghoon.

One in a billion tasks as an idol, and they gave you this one? with Sunghoon? You thought as you held your cue cards, re-reading them over and over again in the waiting rooms. "YN, they are going to start filming soon so we need to rehearse with your MC partner" the staff says as she fixes your hair and leads you to the filming area.

You make the change in attitude once you saw him there, trying to not show any anxiety and nervousness. Being professional and reminding yourself that this was your life now until one of you gets too busy that they can't be an MC anymore.

He sees you as you walk onto the platform, offering you a hand to get onto the set. You take it and the feeling of holding his hand still felt the same. Immediately you stopped your feeling of familiarity and focused on your job. "It's been a while, yn"

Filming went well, and now you were at the dorms with your members who decided to show you all the comments and posts of fans that saw the episode where you and Sunghoon were the new MCs for KBS' Music Bank.

"Okay but can we talk about the chemistry between Sunghoon and YN on Music Bank? They were practically glowing together, and I can't help but ship them so hard!" "Sunghoon and YN as MCs on Music Bank? More like Sunghoon and YN as the cutest couple ever! They were so adorable together, and I can't stop imagining all the cute moments they must have behind the scenes." "I know they're just co-hosts on a music show, but Sunghoon and YN have some serious on-screen chemistry. They just seem so comfortable and natural together, like they've been best friends for years. Low-key shipping it!" "Sunghoon and YN hosting Music Bank together? Yeah, I'm officially aboard the ship. They're too cute together, and I can't wait to see more interactions between them in future episodes. #SungYN for life!"

Just bite me and kill me at this point, you thought. People were now shipping you with your ex-boyfriend. "You guys think he'll see these comments?" covering your face in distress as your members agree and nod. "Just sacrifice me now, how am I going to face him?"

Yes, Indeed. He did see them.

As Sunghoon scrolled through Weverse, he could feel his cheeks flush with embarrassment as he stumbled upon more and more comments shipping him with YN. Suddenly, his phone buzzed with a notification from the group chat. He opened it to find messages from his ENHYPEN members, all teasing him about the shipping rumors.

Jake: "Hey Sunghoon, looks like you and YN are the new power couple according to fans!"

Sunghoon couldn't help but roll his eyes, knowing his members wouldn't let him live this down.

Sunghoon: "Yeah, yeah, very funny. It's just fan speculation, nothing more."

Sunoo: "Come on, Hoonie, we all know there's no smoke without fire! Maybe you two should give it another shot!"

Sunghoon: "Thanks for the advice, Sunoo, but I think we're better off as friends and colleagues."

He typed back with a smirk, hoping to put an end to the teasing before it escalated any further.

Ni-ki: "Aww, don't be shy, Sunghoon! We'll support you no matter what. Just promise to invite us to the wedding, okay?"

At first, Sunghoon chuckled at the playful comments, finding it amusing how fans could easily create pairings based on professional interactions. However, as he continued to read through the posts, he couldn't shake off the memories of his past relationship with YN.

Sunghoon felt a mixture of nostalgia and discomfort as he came across fan-made edits and speculative theories about his current relationship status with YN. Despite their amicable breakup and professional rapport as co-hosts, Sunghoon couldn't deny the complexity of their history together.

Taking a deep breath, Sunghoon closed the Weverse app, feeling grateful for the support of his fans but also recognizing the need to set boundaries when it came to personal matters. He knew that while the shipping was all in good fun for fans, his real-life relationships were more nuanced and deserving of privacy.

But for some reason, he decided to do something. Maybe he shouldn't but he does anyway. Holding his phone and looking into his contacts until he finds your number, the contact's name still the same as when you guys were dating. Hoping you did not change your number; he sends you a text. "Seems like our fans want us together."

You don't see the text only after a few days, you're sitting on your bed, scrolling through your phone after a long day of rehearsals. As you open the messaging app, a familiar name pops up: Sunghoon.

Your heart skips a beat as you read the message, feeling a mixture of surprise and curiosity. It's been a while since you last heard from him, and the timing couldn't be more unexpected.

You stare at the screen for a moment, processing his words. The mention of your fans shipping you together brings a flood of memories rushing back—memories of late-night conversations, stolen glances, and shared dreams. Despite the breakup, a part of you still holds onto the connection you once shared with Sunghoon. But you also know that revisiting the past could reopen old wounds and complicate things further.

Taking a deep breath, you type out a response, careful to keep your emotions in check. "Yeah, it seems that way. But we both know our relationship is more complicated than fan speculation," you reply, adding a smiley face to lighten the mood. As you hit send, you can't help but wonder what Sunghoon's intentions are behind reaching out. Is he just reminiscing about the past, or is he hinting at something more? Only time will tell.

Unfortunately, the next day you have to see him again at Music Bank to film another episode. When you get there with a nervous heart, it gets worse as you meet your manager with Sunghoon in the room already. "You're going to be filming a TikTok challenge with Sunghoon." Following orders, after filming the show's interview and awarding, you two were practicing for three TikTok videos. One for his song, your song, and a random trendy challenge with a song that had a repetitive chaconne composition.

And obviously those three videos blew up, and there was more posts and comments seen and to be read by you and Sunghoon.

"OMG, did you guys see the TikTok videos with YN and Sunghoon from Music Bank? Can we please get more collaborations like this in the future?" "They make such a cute pair, and you can tell they have so much fun dancing together. Low-key shipping it 😍 #SungYN" "The TikTok videos with YN and Sunghoon are giving me life!"

As the ENHYPEN members piled into the van after a long day of filming, Sunghoon couldn't help but feel a sense of relief wash over him. The intense schedule had left him exhausted.

As the van pulled away from the studio, the atmosphere inside the vehicle quickly shifted from exhaustion to playful banter. "Hey Sunghoon, did you have fun filming those TikToks with YN?" Jake asked with a mischievous grin, his eyes twinkling with amusement.

Sunghoon felt his cheeks flush with embarrassment as all eyes turned to him, knowing full well where this conversation was headed. "Yeah, it was fun," Sunghoon replied, trying to keep his tone casual despite the butterflies in his stomach. "Fun, huh? I bet it was more than just fun," Sunoo chimed in, winking at Sunghoon from across the van. "I mean, you two looked pretty cozy in those videos."

Sunghoon couldn't help but roll his eyes at his members' relentless teasing, knowing there was no escaping their playful banter. "Come on, guys, it was just work," Sunghoon protested, though a part of him couldn't deny the truth behind their words. "Sure, sure, just work," Ni-ki chimed in with a smirk, earning a chorus of laughter from the rest of the group.

As the van hummed along the road, Jay leaned forward from the back seat, his eyes gleaming mischievously. "Hey Sunghoon, did you and YN have to practice those TikTok dances in front of a mirror for hours to get them just right?" Jay teased, unable to resist poking fun at his friend.

Sunghoon let out an exasperated sigh, knowing he was in for more teasing from his fellow members. "Actually, we did," Sunghoon replied with a smirk. "But only because YN kept forgetting the steps."

Jungwon chuckled from the passenger seat, unable to contain his laughter at the banter unfolding in the van. "Ouch, Sunghoon's got jokes!" Jungwon exclaimed, earning a round of laughter from the rest of the group.

As the van rumbled along the road, Heeseung couldn't resist adding his own playful jab into the mix. "Hey Sunghoon, do you think all this work with YN means you two are getting back together?" Heeseung teased, a mischievous glint in his eye. Sunghoon's cheeks flushed with embarrassment at the suggestion, but a small part of him couldn't help but entertain the thought.

"Come on, Heeseung, don't be ridiculous," Sunghoon replied, attempting to feign indifference, though his heart raced with excitement at the possibility. "Hey, you never know," Heeseung countered with a grin. "Stranger things have happened."

Sunghoon chuckled nervously, trying to play off Heeseung's teasing as mere jest, but deep down, he couldn't shake the hope that maybe, just maybe, there was a chance for him and YN to reconcile.

As the conversation shifted to lighter topics, Sunghoon couldn't help but steal glances out the window, lost in thoughts of what the future might hold for him and his former flame.

You thought you paid all the bills life gave you, but here you were in an interview and or variety show with your group and Enhypen. Was this karma from something you did in your past life? Cause the directors, staff, and managers knew what they were doing when they sat you next to Sunghoon. Although, despite it all, filming was going great, and it was like everyone was having fun. That was until it came to the sit-down interview portion and for some God forsaken reason, the interview had to ask romance questions. "Sunghoon, if you had a girlfriend, what would be her contact's name in your phone?" He laughs it off and as he says, 'One and Only', you try your best to keep your composure and keep a straight face. Sunghoon also tries his best to not look at you and your reaction as he casually said the name he has saved on his phone for your number.

It felt like you were going to be a criminal if you still were in love with your ex. Unfortunately, everything was working against your favor. "YN, if you were to compare a relationship to a flower, what would that be?" No thinking was required because before you could answer, Sunghoon was answering for you. "A blossom" Everyone's eyes were now on you and Sunghoon, his eyes just as wide as everyone else's. "How did you know what?" the interviewer and host asked. Saving his ass, you had to make up a lie how since you two have been spending a lot of time together, working; you two just happened to talk about certain things like that.

But deep down you knew, certain people can see through your bluff. Shipping and speculation would just go more haywire and insane. After the variety show segment aired, fans took to social media to share their reactions to the tension-filled interview between YN and Sunghoon.

"OMG, did you guys see that interview with YN and Sunghoon? Talk about awkward! You could cut the tension with a knife when they asked about romance." "I can't believe they asked Sunghoon about his ideal girlfriend's contact name! And YN's reaction when he answered 'One and Only' was priceless. It's like they were trying to torture us with the shipping feels! 🤣" "I swear, that interview with YN and Sunghoon was straight out of a K-drama. The tension, the chemistry, the unresolved feelings—it was all there. Can someone please give these two their own rom-com already? #SungYN" "I'm convinced that interview with YN and Sunghoon was orchestrated by the universe to torture us SungYN shippers."

Let's just say you both did not get out of that situation without some angry words from your managers. At this point you were happy you were just a mortal, meaning you'll die and forget these things ever happened. But that didn't comfort you that until death, you'll have to deal with Park Sunghoon.

Back to the present. Good thing, now in 2024; you both were no longer MCs for music bank. Although, that did not stop the shipping and speculation since you two were still seen together often due to being under the same company. Recently you've been under fire for a solo song you have posted, and fans are thinking about the lyrics on how it's about a sad relationship break up. "Maybe if you guys can say you dated, I feel like they won't be mad, they love you both together" you member hands you back the phone showing news articles of your recent song. Which was somewhat true since any interaction you had with Sunghoon was like sweet venom for them.

But in a perfect world, there would only be nice and loving comments. Unfortunately, for you, you were still the monster starring in other people's stories. Blinded by the unspoken truth to their theories and rumors, they lean towards hating on you for even being around Sunghoon.

As you walked into the cafe section of the entertainment company, you scanned the room for an empty table, their heart skipped a beat when they spotted Sunghoon sitting alone at a table by the window.

With a deep breath, you made your way over to Sunghoon's table, their heart racing with anticipation. Sunghoon looked up as they approached, a surprised smile spreading across his face. You greeted softly, voice barely above a whisper.

"Hey," Sunghoon replied, his eyes twinkling with warmth. "Fancy seeing you here." you couldn't help but chuckle nervously at the serendipity of their encounter, feeling a rush of emotions bubbling up inside them.

"Mind if I join you?" gesturing to the empty chair across from Sunghoon.

"Of course not," Sunghoon replied, sliding over to make room. "It's been a while since we've had a chance to catch up."

Settled into your seat, you couldn't help but notice the easy familiarity that still lingered between you and him. Despite the years that had passed since their breakup, it was as if no time had passed at all.

"So, how have you been?" Sunghoon asked, breaking the silence that had settled between them. "I've been good, busy with work and life," you replied, their voice tinged with a hint of wistfulness. "And you?"

Sunghoon nodded, his expression thoughtful. "I've been keeping busy too. Lots of projects and schedules to juggle."

As you guys talked, the conversation flowed effortlessly, each word feeling like a natural continuation of the one before. You two laughed, reminisced, and shared stories of their lives since you both had last seen each other.

And then, in a moment of vulnerability, you couldn't help but speak the words that had been weighing on your heart for so long.

"You know, despite everything that happened between us, I've always treasured the memories we shared," You confessed, voice barely above a whisper.

Sunghoon's gaze softened, his eyes locking with yours in a silent understanding. "I feel the same way," Sunghoon replied, his voice filled with sincerity. "No matter where life takes us, you'll always hold a special place in my heart."

Bathed in the warm glow of the cafe, you couldn't help but feel a sense of peace wash over you. Despite the ups and downs of the relationship, both of you knew that some connections were simply meant to endure, no matter what.

In another part of the entertainment company, the other boys were huddled together, their heads close as they plotted their mischievous scheme.

"Okay, so here's the plan," Jay began, his eyes sparkling with excitement. "We're going to have Jake fake confess to YN while Sunghoon is nearby. We want to see if he'll get jealous or if he still has feelings for YN."

Jungwon raised an eyebrow skeptically. "Isn't that a little mean? What if it backfires?"

But Heeseung grinned mischievously. "Trust me, it'll be fine. Besides, it'll be fun to see how Sunghoon reacts."

Jake chuckled nervously, feeling the weight of their plan sinking in. "Wait, you want me to fake confess to YN? What if it gets awkward?"

"Don't worry, Jake, you got this," Sunoo reassured him, patting him on the back. "Just think of it as a performance, like we do on stage."

With their plan set in motion, the boys exchanged knowing looks, their excitement building as they anticipated the drama that was about to unfold. As the clock ticked closer to the designated time, the boys couldn't contain their excitement. They watched eagerly as you and Sunghoon at the cafe, unknowingly walking straight into the trap they had set.

"Okay, everyone remember their roles," Jay whispered, his eyes darting between his bandmates. "We need to make this as convincing as possible." As YN and Sunghoon settled into their seats, Jake took a deep breath, steeling himself for the task ahead. With a nervous glance at his bandmates, he approached YN's table, his heart pounding in his chest.

"Hey, YN," Jake began, his voice slightly shaky. "I, uh, I wanted to tell you something."

You looked up, surprise etched on their face as you turned to face Jake. "What is it, Jake?"

Taking a deep breath, Jake launched into his carefully rehearsed confession, his words tumbling out in a rush.

"I've, uh, I've had feelings for you for a while now," Jake confessed, his cheeks flushing with embarrassment. "And I couldn't keep it in any longer. I just had to tell you."

Eyes widened in shock, mouth falling open in disbelief. Beside you, Sunghoon watched with a mixture of confusion and concern, his eyes darting between Jake and you.

Before you could respond, Sunghoon stood up abruptly, his expression unreadable as he stormed out of the cafe, leaving you and Jake stunned in his wake. The boys exchanged nervous glances, realizing that their plan had taken an unexpected turn.

As Sunghoon stormed out of the cafe, you sat there in shock, trying to process what had just happened. Jake, on the other hand, was left feeling guilty and unsure of how to proceed.

"I… I'm sorry, YN," Jake stammered, his voice filled with regret. "I didn't mean to upset you or Sunghoon. It was just a silly idea we had…"

But before Jake could finish his apology, you held up a hand, silencing him. "It's okay, Jake," said softly, eyes clouded with uncertainty. With that, you got up from the table and hurried after Sunghoon.

"Wow, I can't believe that actually worked," Jay commented, his eyes wide with surprise.

"Yeah, but did you see the look on Sunghoon's face? He was not happy," Jungwon added, shaking his head.

Jake, feeling a pang of guilt, couldn't help but speak up. "Guys, that was a stupid idea. I shouldn't have gone through with it."

Sunoo placed a comforting hand on Jake's shoulder. "Hey, it's okay, Jake. We were all in on it. Besides, we didn't expect Sunghoon to storm out like that."

"Yeah, well, now we know not to mess with people's feelings," Heeseung chimed in, his tone serious.

Jay couldn't resist a teasing jab. "Looks like Jake's love confession didn't go as planned. Maybe he needs some tips from Sunghoon on how to win someone over."

Meanwhile, Sunghoon had made his way to a secluded spot outside the building, his mind racing with thoughts and emotions. He couldn't believe what had just happened, and a part of him couldn't shake the feeling that maybe there was still something between him and you.

Lost in his thoughts, Sunghoon didn't notice you approaching until you were standing right in front of him.

"Sunghoon, I…" you began, voice trailing off as you struggled to find the right words.

Sunghoon looked up, his eyes meeting yours, and in that moment, all the walls he had built around his heart came crashing down. Without a word, he pulled you into a tight embrace, holding you close as if afraid to let go.

"I'm sorry, YN," Sunghoon whispered, his voice barely above a whisper. "I never stopped caring about you… I just didn't know how to show it." As you two stood there, wrapped in each other's arms, the rest of the world faded away, leaving only the two of them and the promise of a new beginning.

The car ride home was awkward as hell, best believe Sunghoon told them off. The atmosphere was thick with tension. Sunghoon's usually cheerful demeanor had been replaced with a steely resolve, and the rest of the boys could sense his frustration brewing beneath the surface.

For a while, the van was filled with awkward silence as everyone avoided eye contact, knowing that Sunghoon was seething with anger. But eventually, Sunghoon couldn't contain his frustration any longer.

"Seriously, guys? What were you thinking?" Sunghoon's voice was laced with barely concealed anger as he addressed his bandmates.

"We were just trying to have some fun," Jay attempted to defend their actions, but Sunghoon wasn't having any of it.

"Fun? That why I'm the leader of 02z and you're not, that was not fun, Jay. That was incredibly immature and disrespectful," Sunghoon snapped, his frustration boiling over.

The rest of the boys exchanged nervous glances, realizing that Sunghoon was not going to let them off the hook easily.

"I can't believe you would pull a stunt like that, especially involving YN," Sunghoon continued, his voice growing colder with each word. The guilt weighed heavily on the boys as they listened to Sunghoon's scolding, knowing that they had overstepped their boundaries and hurt their friend in the process.

As the van continued on its journey home, the silence that filled the air was deafening, each member lost in their own thoughts of regret and remorse. It was a harsh lesson learned, but one that would ultimately strengthen their bond as a group.

As the tension in the van reached its peak, Heeseung could sense the heavy atmosphere weighing on everyone's shoulders. Wanting to break the tension and lighten the mood, he cleared his throat and spoke up.

"Well, that was certainly an eventful day, huh?" Heeseung said with a wry smile, attempting to inject some levity into the situation.

The rest of the boys glanced at Heeseung, grateful for the attempt to ease the tension. Sunghoon's expression softened slightly as he turned to look at Heeseung, curious to see what he had to say.

"Who knew our little prank would turn into a full-blown drama?" Heeseung continued, his eyes twinkling with mischief. "I guess you could say we really know how to make an entrance."

Despite himself, Sunghoon couldn't help but chuckle at Heeseung's joke, the tension in his shoulders melting away as laughter bubbled up from deep within him. The rest of the boys joined in, the sound of their laughter filling the van and washing away the lingering awkwardness.

Settled into their dorm, the tension from earlier in the day had dissipated, replaced by a sense of camaraderie and warmth. They lounged around the living room, chatting and laughing as they decompressed from the events of the day.

Jake, always one to dive headfirst into conversations, couldn't resist bringing up the topic that had been lingering in the air since their encounter with YN and Sunghoon.

"So, Sunghoon, how did things go with YN earlier?" Jake asked casually, though his eyes twinkled with mischief.

Sunghoon rolled his eyes at Jake's persistence but couldn't help but smile at the genuine curiosity in his friend's voice.

"It was… interesting," Sunghoon replied, choosing his words carefully. "We talked things out and cleared the air, I guess."

Jay perked up at Sunghoon's response, a playful smirk tugging at the corners of his lips. "Ooh, does that mean there's a chance for a SunYN comeback?"

The rest of the boys chuckled at Jay's teasing, knowing full well the speculation and shipping that would inevitably follow their every move.

Sunghoon shook his head, though a small smile played at his lips. "Let's not get ahead of ourselves, guys. We're just friends now."

But deep down, Sunghoon couldn't shake the feeling that maybe, just maybe, there was a chance for something more. As Sunghoon's phone buzzed with a new message, he couldn't help but smile when he saw that it was from you. With a quick glance around the room to make sure the other boys weren't paying attention, he opened the message.

"Hey, just wanted to make sure everything is okay after your argument with the boys. Did you manage to keep the dorm intact? 😜"

Sunghoon chuckled at your playful tone, with a few quick taps on his phone, he composed a reply.

"Hey, everything's fine. No fires, I promise 😂 Thanks for checking in though, it means a lot. Let's catch up soon?"

With a sense of warmth spreading through him, Sunghoon hit send, feeling grateful for the unexpected but welcome connection he shared with YN. As he tucked his phone away, he couldn't help but feel a sense of excitement at the prospect of rekindling their friendship, and maybe even something more.

Now we are at the point where there is no need to hide away from Sunghoon in the hallways and rooms of the company. Things seemed like they were looking up and everything is naturally easing into place.

As you step into the elevator, you're surprised to find Sunghoon already inside, holding a beautiful bouquet of orange flowers in his hands. Your eyes light up at the sight of them, but you can't help but tease him.

"Wow, Sunghoon, are those for me?" you ask, a playful grin tugging at the corners of your lips.

Sunghoon meets your gaze with a confident smile, his eyes sparkling with mischief. "Actually, yes, they are."

Your heart skips a beat at his response, but you try to play it cool as you accept the bouquet from him.

"Well, thank you, but you didn't have to," you reply, trying to mask the fluttering feeling in your chest.

As the elevator begins its ascent, Sunghoon clears his throat, his expression turning serious.

"YN, I wanted to talk to you about something," Sunghoon begins, his voice soft but determined.

You turn to face him, curiosity piqued by the sudden change in tone.

"What is it, Sunghoon?" you ask, your heart pounding in anticipation.

Sunghoon takes a deep breath, steeling himself for what he's about to say.

"I know we've been through a lot, and I understand if you're hesitant," Sunghoon starts, his gaze unwavering as he speaks. "But I can't shake the feeling that maybe we're meant to give this another shot. I still care about you, YN, and I'm willing to do whatever it takes to make it work this time."

You feel a surge of emotion welling up inside you at Sunghoon's heartfelt words, but you can't help but voice your concerns.

"Sunghoon, I… I want to believe that too, but what if history repeats itself?" you admit, your voice wavering with uncertainty. "What if we end up sneaking around again, only to get caught and have our hearts broken all over again?"

Sunghoon reaches out to gently cup your face in his hands, his touch sending shivers down your spine.

"I won't let that happen, YN," Sunghoon says firmly, his eyes locking with yours in a silent vow. "We've both grown and learned from our past mistakes. This time, we'll face whatever challenges come our way together, as a team."

As the elevator reaches its destination, you find yourself lost in Sunghoon's gaze, feeling a glimmer of hope blossoming in your heart. With a nod, you take his hand in yours, silently agreeing to give love another chance, knowing that this time, it just might be different.

As months passed, your relationship with Sunghoon secretly blossomed beautifully. You found comfort and joy in each other's company, navigating the highs and lows of life together with newfound confidence and trust. Despite the occasional challenges, your love for each other only grew stronger with each passing day.

One evening, you found yourselves attending an award show together, surrounded by the glitz and glamour of the entertainment industry. His eyes lit up with anticipation as the lights dimmed and the stage came alive with a dazzling display of lights and music. And when your turn to perform finally came, fans in the crowd could see the pride and admiration shining in Sunghoon's eyes as he watched you take the stage, giving it your all with every dance move and note sung.

As the night progressed, fans shared their excitement over the award show, particularly Sunghoon's enthusiastic support for YN's performance. Fancams of Sunghoon's delighted reactions began circulating online, sending waves of joy and admiration through the fandom.

"OMG, did you guys see Sunghoon's reaction during YN's performance? He was literally glowing with pride and excitement! 😍" "I love how Sunghoon can't contain his happiness while watching YN perform. It's so refreshing to see idols supporting each other like this! 🥺" "Sunghoon's smile during YN's performance is giving me life! Who knew idols could be so openly supportive of each other? This is the kind of energy we need in the industry! 💖"

As the award show continued, fans were quick to notice YN's undeniable affection and admiration for Sunghoon as he took the stage to perform. Fancams capturing YN's reactions to Sunghoon's performance began to circulate on social media, sparking a frenzy of excitement and adoration among fans.

"OMG, YN's love eyes for Sunghoon during his performance are everything! I can't handle the cuteness! 😍" "YN is all of us watching Sunghoon's performance. The way they can't take their eyes off him is the ultimate ship confirmation! 🚢 #SungYN" "I swear, YN's smile during Sunghoon's performance could light up the entire room. It's the most precious thing ever! 💕"

Even when it came to each other's live streams, they would be filled with the other's name. As you settled in for a cozy livestream session on Weverse, chatting with your fans and sharing updates about your day, you couldn't help but feel a sense of excitement bubbling up inside you. The familiar hum of the chat box filled your screen, the messages from your fans scrolling by in a flurry of emojis and enthusiastic comments.

But as you read through the comments, one in particular caught your eye. "Did you see Sunghoon's latest Instagram post? You guys would make such a cute couple! 😉"

Without thinking, you read the comment out loud, your cheeks flushing with embarrassment as you realized your mistake. But before you could backtrack, the chat exploded with questions and speculations about your relationship with Sunghoon.

"Wait, are YN and Sunghoon dating?!" "OMG, my SunYN heart is screaming right now! 😱💕" "Please tell us if you're dating! We need to know!"

As the questions continued to pour in, you felt a knot forming in your stomach. You hadn't intended to spark rumors or speculation about your relationship with Sunghoon, but now that the cat was out of the bag, there was no going back.

With a nervous laugh, you tried to deflect the questions, but the curiosity of your fans was relentless.

"I… um… we're just friends," you stammered, your voice barely above a whisper. "Nothing more."

As you struggled to address the flood of questions and speculations from your fans about your relationship with Sunghoon, a familiar notification popped up on your phone screen. With a quick glance, you saw that it was a text from Sunghoon.

Curious, you opened the message, your heart fluttering with anticipation. "Having fun with your livestream, YN? 😜"

A soft chuckle escaped your lips as you read Sunghoon's teasing words, you didn't realize that your reaction had sparked even more curiosity among your fans. Before you knew it, the chat was flooded with messages from eager fans, all desperate to know who had sent you a text.

"Omg, who was that? spill the tea, YN!" "Was that Sunghoon? Are you guys texting each other right now?!" "Tell us who's texting you, we won't stop until we find out!"

As the messages continued to pour in, you couldn't help but laugh at the frenzy your fans had whipped themselves into. It was both amusing and overwhelming to see their excitement over something as simple as a text message.

With a mischievous twinkle in your eye, you decided to tease your fans a little more. "Hmm, I wonder who it could be? You'll just have to keep guessing 😉"

It was a funny little game you and Sunghoon liked to play with your fans.

"Sunghoon, did you see YN's livestream? Are you guys dating?!" "Tell us the truth, Sunghoon! Are you and YN secretly in love?!"

Sunghoon couldn't help but laugh at the barrage of questions, his cheeks flushing with embarrassment at the sudden onslaught of attention. But he knew he had to address the elephant in the room.

"Alright, alright, calm down everyone," Sunghoon said with a chuckle, trying to regain control of the chat. Sunghoon did his best to answer their questions with a mix of humor and sincerity, knowing that his fans were simply curious and excited to be interacting with him.

-

"Hey, Sunghoon," Jungwon began tentatively, drawing Sunghoon's attention away from the game he was playing on his phone. "I've been thinking… do you ever worry about accidentally revealing your relationship with YN?"

Sunghoon furrowed his brow in confusion, his mind racing as he processed Jungwon's question. He hadn't given much thought to the possibility of accidentally revealing his relationship with YN, but now that Jungwon had brought it up, he couldn't deny that the idea made him uneasy.

Jay, who had been listening in on the conversation, chimed in with a concerned expression. "I mean, it's not like we're just worried about our careers or anything. We just don't want anything to happen to you and YN because of a slip-up, you know?"

Jungwon nodded in agreement, his eyes filled with genuine concern for his friend. "Exactly. We just want to make sure you guys are okay."

-

With a contented sigh, YN snuggled closer to Sunghoon, resting her head on his shoulder as they gazed out at the breathtaking view. In that moment, surrounded by the beauty of the city and the warmth of each other's presence, they felt a sense of peace and tranquility wash over them.

Sunghoon couldn't help but smile as he wrapped his arm around YN, pulling her close and pressing a gentle kiss to the top of her head. In that simple gesture, he conveyed all the love and affection he felt for her, the depth of his feelings shining brightly in his eyes.

YN glanced up at Sunghoon, her heart swelling with love as she returned his smile with one of her own. In that quiet moment, as they watched the world pass by below, they knew that they were exactly where they were meant to be: in each other's arms, surrounded by love, and ready to face whatever the future held, together.

[alinawritess]

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐅𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐟 𝐎𝐥𝐝 𝐅𝐥𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐬 ❀

❀ pairing. Vinnie Hacker x fem!reader x Matt Sturniolo

❀ synopsis. Four years ago, Vinnie and you, were once deeply in love, but had to part ways as both your skyrocketing careers in Hollywood and LA strained your long-distance relationship. The breakup was heartbreaking, leaving Vinnie with unresolved feelings. Now, at a glamorous Hollywood party, he unexpectedly encounters you, his former flame, who is now with the charismatic YouTube star Matt Sturniolo. As old emotions resurface, their polite yet charged interaction hints at unresolved tension and nostalgia.

❀ word count. 3.2k

❀ warning(s). Heartbreak┆︎ Emotional Distress ┆︎ Long-Distance Relationship Challenges ┆︎ Regret┆︎ Unresolved Feelings ┆︎ Nostalgia┆︎ Emotional Vulnerability┆︎ No Use of Y/N.

❀ authors note. Was I high writing this? very much so! (who knew what 4 Advil pills can do to a girl) ┆︎ If there are any spelling mistakes- blame Grammarly, girly was supposed to fix them!

Four Years Ago

Vinnie and you had been together for two wonderful years, just starting out in the influencer industry. Nobody really knew you two were dating; it was something private, a decision both of you had made. People and fans knew you were both seeing someone, but they just didn't know who. Your relationship felt like a perfect fit, filled with love and understanding.

Today, as you come through the apartment doors, exhaustion is written all over your face after a long day of practicing your lines for your upcoming movie. The filming is in Hollywood, and you haven't figured out how to tell your beloved partner that maybe you should take a break while you're filming. After all, he had his days where he seemed busy too. To say that your relationship was perfect would be a lie; recently, both of you had been busy with your hectic schedules, barely having time for one another.

As you walk through the door of your shared apartment, Vinnie looks up upon hearing it open.

"Hi, love," he greets you with a smile.

"Hi, Mr. Hacker," you say, playfully using a new nickname.

Vinnie chuckles. "That's a new nickname. Not really your style to be calling me by nicknames," he adds.

He walks up to you and gently wraps his arms around your sides, but you pull back slightly. "Do you hate it?" you tease lightly.

"I never said that," he says, planting a kiss on your forehead. "So, what's on your mind today, my love?" he asks, seeing your hands fidget and sensing your distracted thoughts. He truly knew how to read you like an open book, understanding your every emotion.

"We need to talk," you say, slipping from his embrace. Vinnie's teasing expression fades into worry and concern.

"A talk? Is something wrong, love?" he asks.

"I feel like we're not on the same page in life as we used to be," you say, your voice tinged with concern.

Vinnie's expression becomes gentler. He lifts his hand to gently caress your face. "Oh, love... What makes you think that?"

"You've been pretty distant with band things and photoshoots," you explain, "and I guess we only see each other once or twice a week. None of us have even brought it up; it's like we don't care that our schedules mess our relationship up and we don't even try to fix it or talk about it. Every time we do see each other, we just act like we're some perfect couple, like nothing's tearing us apart beneath the surface."

Vinnie takes a deep breath and nods, understanding what you mean. "You're right... I've been distracted with band stuff and photoshoots. I never meant to make you feel like I was neglecting you. I'm so sorry," he apologizes sincerely, his voice quiet and gentle.

"It's fine," you reassure him. "I'm not saying stop chasing your dreams. Go for it. But what if we took a break?"

"A break? You mean from the relationship?" Vinnie's voice is barely a whisper, his expression one of heartbreak.

"Yeah..." you hesitate. "You know, maybe try things, chase our dreams."

Vinnie stands frozen, his wide eyes looking at you with disbelief. He clearly wasn't prepared for this conversation.

"You... want us to break up?" he asks, his voice cracking.

"Kinda," you admit. "Maybe you'll finally be the model or singer you want to be. Maybe your band will finally hit the top 100 charts, maybe even number one. And maybe, just maybe, I can be on TV."

Vinnie's expression falls even more, and his eyes plead with you. "But what about us? What about what we have? We're good together, aren't we?"

"We are, but the truth is we've been so distant from each other. We barely have enough time for this relationship," you explain. "I'm going to be in Hollywood for a while for my upcoming movie, and you're going to be in LA. Is it truly going to work?"

Vinnie's jaw clenches tightly in disappointment, tears welling up in his eyes. "But... I love you," he whispers quietly, almost like he wanted you to hear him but not at all at the same time.

"I thought... you loved me like I loved you," he continues, and now tears roll down his face. "But I guess I was wrong... I'm sorry I wasn't enough for you..."

"Vinnie, it's not like that, you know it," you say softly, trying to comfort him.

"I really don't," he chokes out, shaking his head. "How can you just throw away everything we had? What's wrong with me that you don't love me anymore?" He lifts his palms to his face and scrubs away his tears, though they keep spilling out in endless waterfalls.

"I never said I don't love you," you clarify, "I just don't think I can do long distance."

"So... this means I'll never get to hold you again? Or touch you? Or kiss you? Or hear your laughter and jokes that make my day?" Vinnie's voice cracks as he struggles to hold back his tears.

"I don't know, Vinnie," you admit, tears welling up in your own eyes, "I don't know what the future holds. I know because of this movie role, I'm going to be away for a long time."

Vinnie nods slowly, his eyes filled with a mixture of sorrow and acceptance. "Yeah... long distance is tough. I'm just scared of what happens if you... you know... find someone new while you're away?"

"If I come back and we both have the same feelings for one another, maybe we could be... maybe," you suggest tentatively.

He nods ever so slightly again. "I guess this is it then," he whispers, his voice cracking as he struggles to speak. "But... can we at least have one final kiss? To cherish this moment and keep it forever?"

"How about a hug? A kiss would feel too intimate, don't you think?" you suggest.

"Yeah... a hug," he chokes out. Vinnie steps forward and wraps his arms around you in a firm embrace. He buries his face in your hair, his whole body trembling as he fights away tears.

"I'm sorry," you say softly, tears streaming down your face.

"No, I'm the one who's sorry I wasn't what you needed," he whispers, his voice cracking once more. "I loved you so much, and I promise I always will. I hope you find everything you're looking for."

"I hope you do too," you whisper back.

He holds you tightly for a few more moments, the embrace feeling like a bittersweet mixture of love and pain.

Eventually, he releases you, his expression a mix of sadness and acceptance. "Goodbye, my love..."

"Bye, Vin," you say softly.

Vinnie slowly walks towards the door and opens it, pausing for a moment to look back at you one final time. His tear-filled eyes meet yours for a few seconds before he steps out the door, disappearing into the unknown.

Present Day

Four years had passed since you and Vinnie had gone your separate ways, but the memories of your time together still lingered like ghosts from the past. You found yourself at a lavish Hollywood party, surrounded by the elite and celebrities, trying to navigate through the crowd with Matt Sturniolo, your new boyfriend. Matt was introducing you to various people, his hand possessively on your back as you made your way through the crowd.

Amidst the glamorous chaos, you spotted a familiar face—the one you thought you'd never see again. Vinnie stood out among the Hollywood elite, his charismatic presence and undeniable good looks drawing attention wherever he went. He was surrounded by people, laughing at his jokes and eagerly listening to his stories. It was clear he was thriving in the industry.

As if sensing your gaze, Vinnie glanced up and briefly met your eyes. For a moment, time seemed to freeze as memories flooded your mind. But all too quickly, he tore his gaze away and continued chatting with his entourage, as if nothing had happened.

Matt brought you in front of Vinnie, and you had to muster all your strength to act as if this was your first time meeting. Your eyes locked onto Vinnie's, and you could see a flicker of recognition in his gaze, but he played along.

"Hey, nice to meet you," he said smoothly, offering a polite smile and extending his hand for a handshake.

You politely declined Vinnie's handshake, keeping your hand firmly clasped with Matt's as he introduced you as his girlfriend. Vinnie glanced at your intertwined hands, a subtle flicker of disappointment crossing his face before he quickly masked it with a neutral expression.

"Ah, got yourself a nice catch, Matt," Vinnie joked, his voice casual but his eyes betraying a hint of envy. He gave Matt's hand a firm shake before turning his attention to you. "Congratulations to you both."

As the conversation continued, Vinnie tried his best to maintain his composure, engaging in small talk with you both. But beneath the surface, he couldn't help but feel a pang of longing and regret. He had lost you, and now, seeing you happy with someone else hurt more than he had anticipated.

Matt turned to Vinnie and asked, "So, have you found yourself a special someone yet, Vinnie?"

Vinnie chuckled, his eyes twinkling with a hint of humor. "Oh, you know me, Matt, always the bachelor. Haven't found the right person to settle down with yet."

"Ever did?" Matt asked.

"Well, there was one person," Vinnie admitted, his voice quieter, the hint of a smile playing on his lips. "We had something special, but life took us down different paths. Sometimes, I wonder if what we had could've been something more."

"What happened?" Matt asked, as you looked away, clenching your hand tighter around Matt's.

"We both had dreams and aspirations," Vinnie explained, his expression tinged with a hint of sadness. "I was focused on my music career, and she wanted to pursue her dreams in Hollywood. We tried to make it work, but the distance and our conflicting schedules made it challenging. In the end, we had to make a choice to follow our own paths."

"So, did you find what you were searching for, and did you ever see her again?" Matt asked.

"After her, I've had a few relationships here and there, but none quite like ours," Vinnie mused. "As for her, our paths have crossed at a few parties or events over the years, but we've kept our distance. Maybe one day, fate will bring us back together."

"It was nice chatting with you both," Vinnie said, his tone laced with a hint of sorrow mixed with acceptance. "Enjoy the party."

Matt nodded in agreement, expressing his parting greetings as well, and gently led you away to find a quieter spot for that much-needed breather. As you walked away, Vinnie found himself lost in his thoughts, unable to shake off the bittersweet memories of what once was. He took a deep breath and pushed the past aside, plastering a smile on his face as he turned back to the party, trying to revel in the present instead.

The rest of the evening passed by in a blur for Vinnie, his mind preoccupied with the unexpected encounter. Seeing you with another man had stirred up a myriad of emotions within him, forcing him to confront the lingering feelings he still harbored deep down. He tried to engage in conversations and interactions, but his thoughts kept drifting back to you, the one who once loved him. As the party drew to a close, Vinnie felt a sense of relief mixed with a bittersweet tinge. He knew that seeing you tonight had only served to reopen old wounds. As he made his way out of the venue, he couldn't help but wonder if fate would ever bring the two of you together again.

Sitting on the steps in your black dress, you wondered what was taking Matt so long. He had told you to meet him outside, but he still hadn't appeared. You contemplated whether you should go back into the party and search for him, even though everyone appeared happy in front of you, things were going wrong inside their relationship. As you looked up from the steps, there he was, looking down at you—an old love.

"Hey," he greeted softly, his voice tinged with both warmth and hesitation. "Mind if I join you?"

"Go ahead," you replied, a hint of bitterness in your voice. "It's not like my boyfriend is anywhere, and it's not like the spot's reserved."

Vinnie let out a small chuckle at your remark, sensing the hint of bitterness in your words. He took a seat beside you on the steps, respectfully leaving a little space between you two as he gazed out at the cityscape before you.

"It's nice out here," he commented softly, before adding, "Not much of a party person, are you?"

"Never was, even with you," you replied, a wistful tone in your voice. "But neither were you."

Vinnie smiled softly, the corner of his lip curving up in a bittersweet smile. "You're right, I never was much of a party person," he admitted, his gaze distant as he reminisced about the past. "I guess some things never change. Neither of us was meant for the Hollywood spotlight."

"I don't know about you, but I look great on the big screen," you said, trying to inject some lightness into the conversation.

Vinnie chuckled and nodded, his eyes gleaming with pride and admiration. "No doubt about it," he agreed. "You shine bright like a star on the big screen. It suits you. I always knew you were destined for greatness."

"Even if it caused our relationship to end," you said quietly, your voice tinged with regret.

Vinnie's expression turned solemn as he nodded slowly. "Yeah, the industry can be demanding," he admitted. "It took a toll on our relationship, on both of us. We had different dreams, different paths. Sometimes, I wonder what would have been if we had chosen differently."

"Like normal people with ordinary jobs," you added, a wistful tone in your voice.

Vinnie let out a deep sigh and nodded. "Sometimes I miss those simpler days," he confessed, his voice tinged with a hint of nostalgia. "Just the two of us, living life without the fame and the busy schedules. It was simpler, I guess. But who knows, maybe things happen for a reason."

"Maybe," you said softly, not entirely convinced. "Though I'm surprised there's no lovely woman by your side tonight."

Vinnie chuckled, a sheepish smile tugging at the corners of his lips. "Oh, I could have any woman I wanted," he joked, feigning confidence. "But maybe I'm just waiting for the right one to come along. Someone who appreciates the real me, not just the celebrity persona."

"You mean the anime nerd behind all that mystery," you teased, a hint of a smile playing on your lips.

Vinnie's laughter filled the air, his eyes twinkling with amusement. "You always knew me too well, didn't you?" he said, a hint of warmth in his voice. "Yeah, the big secret no one knows is that I'm just a regular anime nerd underneath the glitz and glamor."

"Wouldn't that be what we would have been doing right now, four years ago? Fighting over either Attack on Titan or Sailor Moon?" you mused.

Vinnie grinned wider, his eyes lighting up as the nostalgia washed over him. "Yeah, those endless debates over which anime is the best," he mused. "You and your love for Sailor Moon, and me passionately defending Attack on Titan. It was always a tie between us, wasn't it?"

"I don’t know, feel like I won most of those rounds," you said with a playful challenge.

Vinnie chuckled softly, his eyes gleaming with playful mischief. "Maybe you won a few, but I still hold my ground that Attack on Titan is the superior anime," he quipped, a hint of a challenge in his voice. "I mean, come on, the story, the characters, the action – it's just unbeatable!"

"Come on, like you didn't drool over Captain Levi every time he was on the screen," Vinnie teased.

"Levi Ackerman, huh? Can't blame me there," you admitted, a playful shrug. "He's a hot badass, for sure. But let's be real, even he couldn't steal me away from you."

The light-hearted mood shifted suddenly as Matt's voice interjected, "Steal who from who?" cutting through the conversation like a gust of cold wind. Vinnie turned to face Matt, a flicker of surprise crossing his features.

"Baby, what took you so long?" you asked Matt, kissing him on the cheek as he pulled you closer to him.

Vinnie watched as you kissed Matt, a whirlwind of emotions stirring within him. He forced a strained smile, his eyes betraying a hint of jealousy and longing hidden beneath the surface.

"So, what were you talking about?" Matt asked.

"Just catching up with Vinnie. After all, we did work on that one music piece," you interjected.

"Yeah, just catching up on the old times," Vinnie managed to say, his voice steady despite the turmoil inside. He cleared his throat, attempting to divert the conversation away from the awkward tension. "So, how's the industry treating you, Matt? Any exciting projects coming up?"

Matt talked about his YouTube channel and the one he shared with his triplet brothers, Nick and Chris, who appeared behind him. Chris gave you a pat on the shoulder, commenting on how lit the party was, joking that you'd be his sister-in-law soon if you kept up your relationship with his brother.

Vinnie nodded intently, listening to Matt's excitement about his growing success on YouTube. He managed a polite, encouraging smile despite the gnawing feeling of jealousy brewing within him. As Matt's brothers appeared behind him, their presence created an even more convoluted atmosphere, with Chris's comment about you being his future sister-in-law making things even more awkward.

Matt turned his head to you and Chris as he heard his comment and whispered, "Maybe one day, my love," kissing your cheek. But all you could think of at that moment was Vinnie as he stared at you. Matt's comment brought back memories for both of you, as "my love" was Vinnie's favorite nickname for you.

You remembered the first time he called you that name, back in high school. The wind was blowing hard, and the flowers had bloomed even though it was the first day of spring. You were supposed to meet at the botanical gardens for your first official date. As you tried to find where he was, a soft, comforting voice said, "Hi," tapping your shoulder and causing you to turn around. Before any word could come out of your mouth, he picked a leaf that had gotten stuck in your hair and spoke gently, "I think something got stuck in your hair, love." That was the first time anyone had called you that, and at that time, you really believed he would be the only one calling you it. Snapping out of your thoughts, you smiled softly at Matt to reassure him. Vinnie interrupted the moment, reminding Matt they were in the middle of a conversation.

"That's great to hear, man. I hope your channel keeps growing. You've got a long road ahead of you," Vinnie responded, his voice neutral despite the emotional turmoil roiling inside him. He tried to focus on the conversation, asking questions and engaging in small talk, but his thoughts kept circling back to you, the one who once loved him. As the conversation continued, Vinnie began to feel increasingly out of place, his presence becoming more of a hindrance than anything.

His mind raced, weighing the options for escape. Glancing around, he subtly scanned for a way out. Seeing an opportunity, Vinnie excused himself abruptly, offering a hasty excuse about finding the restroom or chatting with his manager—anything to leave this awkwardly tense situation.

"Take care Vin," you say as Vinnie passes by you once again.

"Thanks, you too," he replied, his voice carrying a hint of unresolved emotion as he walked away, leaving you to grapple with the memories and emotions that had resurfaced.

[i-love-your-light]

too many thoughts on the new hbomberguy video not to put them anywhere so:

with every app trying to turn into the clock app these days by feeding you endless short form content, *how many* pieces of misinformation does the average person consume day to day?? thinking a lot about how tons of people on social media go largely unquestioned about the information they provide just because they speak confidently into the camera. if you're scrolling through hundreds of pieces of content a day, how many are you realistically going to have the time and will to check? i think there's an unfortunate subconscious bias in liberal and leftist spaces that misinformation is something that is done only by the right, but it's a bipartisan issue babey. everybody's got their own agendas, even if they're on "your side". *insert you are not immune to propaganda garfield meme*

and speaking of fact checking, can't help but think about how much the current state of search engines Sucks So Bad right now. not that this excuses ANY of the misinformation at all, but i think it provides further context as to why these things become so prevalent in creators who become quick-turnaround-content-farms and cut corners when it comes to researching. when i was in high school and learning how to research and cite sources, google was a whole different landscape that was relatively easy to navigate. nowadays a search might give you an ad, a fake news article, somebody's random blog, a quora question, and another ad before actually giving you a relevant verifiable source. i was googling a question about 1920s technology the other day (for a fanfiction im writing lmao) and the VERY FIRST RESULT google gave me was some random fifth grader's school assignment on the topic???? like?????? WHAT????? it just makes it even harder for people to fact-check misinformation too.

going off the point of cutting corners when it comes to creating content, i can't help but think about capitalism's looming influence over all of this too. again, not as an excuse at all but just as further environmental context (because i really believe the takeaway shouldn't be "wow look how bad this one individual guy is" but rather "wow this is one specific example of a much larger systemic issue that is more pervasive than we realize"). a natural consequence of the inhumanity of capitalism is that people feel as if they have to step on or over eachother to get to 'the top'. if everybody is on this individualistic american dream race to success, everyone else around you just looks like collateral. of course then you're going to take shortcuts, and you're going to swindle labor and intellectual property from others, because your primary motivation is accruing capital (financial or social) over ethics or actual labor.

i've been thinking about this in relation to AI as well, and the notion that some people want to Be Artists without Doing Art. they want to Have Done Art but not labor through the process. to present something shiny to the world and benefit off of it. they don't want to go through the actual process of creating, they just want a product. Easy money. Winning the game of capitalism.

i can't even fully fault this mentality- as someone who has been struggling making barely minimum wage from art in one of the most expensive cities in america for the past two years, i can't say that i haven't been tempted on really difficult occasions to act in ways that would be morally bad but would give me a reprieve from the constant stress cycle of "how am i going to pay for my own survival for another month". the difference is i don't give in to those impulses.

tl;dr i hope that people realize that instead of this just being a time to dogpile on one guy (or a few people), that it's actually about a larger systemic problem, and the perfect breeding grounds society has created for this kind of behavior to largely go unchecked!!!

[hippolotamus]

Sentence Sunday ✨

I can show you lies 'Cause I'm a real tough kid, I can handle my shit They said, "Babe, you gotta fake it 'til you make it" and I did Lights, camera, bitch smile, even when you wanna die I was grinning like I'm winning, I was hitting my marks 'Cause I can do it with a broken heart

Beloved mutuals and pocket pals... I honestly don't know what to say for myself. This is a case of 'I listened to a song too much, I had an idea I knew I was never gonna write' turned 'I'll just throw it out as a prompt' --> 'I'll just make a moodboard' --> 'Oh god, I've written over 1k words in place of a summary'. SO. Have... whatever this is, T Swift influenced Buddie actor au. Under the cut to save your dash.

Honestly, if the world still exists in the morning, Eddie Diaz doesn't really give a fuck. His girlfriend left, claiming he's still not over his late wife, and his teenage son, the last thread connecting him to said wife, went to go live with his grandparents. After, of course, blaming Eddie for pushing 'yet another one' away. Christopher wouldn't even look at him before he went.

Then there's Anita Mills, his agent, who is probably a few blood pressure points away from a stroke at this point. Assuming she doesn't fire him first.

Let her, he thinks, grabbing a bottle of Maker's Mark from the cabinet. He has a string of blockbuster films to his name, not to mention a commendable collection of Oscar's and Emmy's. Not that they made his parents proud or kept his wife from leaving him before she died. But they exist as proof that he's had a successful career. Between investments and liquid assets he has more money than he would know what to do with in a hundred lifetimes. So, fuck it.

Eddie breaks the wax seal and twists off the red cap. He doesn't even bother with a glass, not really seeing a need. He's never been a big drinker, but lately his tolerance has grown considerably. Indulging until he passes out seems like an ideal use of his time right now anyway. If he wakes up after? Well, he'll consider that a success.

------------------

"Hey! What the hell?!" Eddie manages, coughing and trying not to choke on the ice cold water hitting his body. He opens his eyes to see Mills towering over him, glowering and holding an empty vase. He swipes a hand across his face. "Seriously, Anita, what the fuck was that?"

"I don't know, Eddie, you tell me." She disappears for less than a minute, returning with a hand towel she unceremoniously drops on his chest. "Help me out here. What's today?"

He wriggles himself to something resembling sitting and leans back against the coffee table. "What's today?" He parrots back dumbly.

Anita crosses her arms and quirks an eyebrow. "I asked you first."

Today, today, today. Where was he supposed to be- "Shit! The interview with, uh, fuck." He snaps his fingers and racks his brain trying to remember a name or a face. All he knows is they're important.

"Claudette Collins. Very good, Eddie, you got it part way."

"Give me ten minutes, I'll put myself together and we can go," he says, fighting the violent wave of nausea that hits as he scrambles to stand up.

"Save your poor carpet from getting puked on and sit the hell down."

"What? No, I can-"

"Eddie," Anita interjects, "the interview was five hours ago. The interview with the Claudette Collins. The one that took me months of phone calls, groveling and cashing in favors to get for you."

Fuck. "Anita, I'm so sorry. How-"

"Save it." Anita holds her hand up, effectively silencing him. It takes him back to being seven years old and having to explain why his dad's truck had an enormous dent in it. She rests her hands on her hips, pacing back and forth as she purses her lips. Eventually she sits in the leather armchair situated in the corner. "Eddie, you and I have known each other a long time. A long time. I've been your agent since you walked into my shitty office back in Dallas. Given your impressive display of awards, I'd say we've done pretty well together."

She inhales sharply, rubbing at her temple. Anita doesn't mince words, it's part of why he's always liked her. He never has to question where he stands. She says 'jump' and he knows exactly how high. It's not difficult to guess what's coming next.

"Eddie, I know you're going through a rough patch. What you're dealing with is hard enough without seeing it splashed on every tabloid and trashy website. Not to mention none of those places knows the real story, so it's all a bunch of 'she said he might have said' bullshit. But you've made it through tougher things." Anita doesn't need to clarify that she's talking about Shannon's death and how his parents tried to take Christopher. "I don't know what's happening this time, but I need to take a step back. My wife has made it very clear that all of my attempts at stress management are not working and that if I can't get it under control I shouldn't be surprised when I come home to an empty house. So."

Eddie swallows, waiting for the inevitable and cursing himself for pretending he wouldn't care.

"I've talked to a few friends in the business and found someone willing to take you on."

What?

"What? You're not firing me?"

Anita's features soften. "Technically, yes. I am very much dropping you like a scorpion I found in my boots. However, like I said, I found someone willing to work with you. The name is Bobby Nash. He runs a smallish agency but don't let that throw you. He's cobbled together some pretty impressive talent. I assume you've heard of Evan Buckley?"

Eddie scoffs. "Of course I have. Who hasn't? Christ, he's everywhere you look. I can't pass a damn bus stop without seeing his face." A few details begin to click into place within Eddie's muddled brain. "Bobby Nash is his agent?"

"Sure is. And we all know the stories about Evan's past aren't the type you trot out at parties. My advice is that you don't look a gift horse in the mouth, go with Nash and do whatever he tells you to do. He even has a role in mind for you, costarring with Buckley. What do you say?"

What else was there to say? If Eddie didn't want to get blacklisted or wind up as some washed up tragic Hollywood story, being gossiped about where everyone - including his son - could see what a failure he was...

"I guess I say- when can I meet him?"

"Good answer." Anita clasps her hands together and gives him her signature smirk that tells him she approves. "Just leave everything to me."

Up to this point, Eddie has trusted Anita implicitly with all the messy business that comes with having him for a client. Why stop now?

tagged by @loveyouanyway @spotsandsocks @wikiangela @tizniz

np tagging @actuallyitsellie @epicbuddieficrecs @a-noble-dragon @mountedeverest @fortheloveofbuddie

@weewootruck @saybiwithme @bidisasterevankinard @shipperqueen6 @ramonaflow

@taketheplanspinitsideways @dangerpronebuddie @theotherbuckley @stereopticons @kitteneddiediaz

@daffi-990 @diazsdimples @your-catfish-friend

@thekristen999 @filet-o-feelings @underwaterninja13 @lizzie-bennetdarcy @rainbow-nerdss

@steadfastsaturnsrings @inell @jesuisici33 @rmd-writes

@shortsighted-owl @eddiebabygirldiaz @queerbuckleys @bi-buckrights @elvensorceress

@bucksbiawakening @giddyupbuck @hoodie-buck @indestructibleheart @ladydorian05

@lemonzestywrites @monsterrae1 @statueinthestone @slightlyobsessedwitheverything @the-likesofus

@thewolvesof1998 @watchyourbuck @welcometololaland @wildlife4life and anyone else who wants to 😘

[cerridwen007]

Unwind.

*Images are from Pinterest and are used for aesthetics only.

Pairing: Boyfriend!Dieter Bravo x f!reader (afab)

Word count: 4.1k (18+) MINORS DNI!

Summary: Your boyfriend, Dieter, has come home early from a project. Hoping to surprise you, he instead gets a surprise of his own when he discovers what you like to do unwind alone from a long day.

Notes/warnings: Smut, fluff, DUB-CON (one party is under the influence of ouid but they are both very into it), established relationship, accidental pervy!Dieter, accidental exhibitionism, pussy drunk Dieter, masturbation (f and m), sex toys, descriptions of smoking the devils lettuce, mentions of other drugs, porn with little plot, oral (f!receiving), piv sex, cumplay, they are both just super horny and sweet for each other, swearing, no y/n. 

a/n: My first Dieter fic, I can’t remember really where or when I got the idea for this fic, but I knew it just screamed Dieter. This is probably quite up there with the filthiest thing i've written, and i'm not sorry, lol. Also, I apologise for my very long absence in posting writing. Life just got the best of me, and I lost all motivation pretty much to write. Ngl I don't think this is my best work, cause I'm a little rusty but it's fun and I enjoyed writing it. But anyway, I hope y'all enjoy, and any interactions with my posts mean the world to me. Love yall so much! <3

*******

Now that his months-long project had wrapped up early, all Dieter wanted to do was surprise you. The both of you had long played the game of hiding behind corners and hiding in all sorts of spots to try and scare each other, all throughout your relationship. 

But more often than not, it was you that made his heart jump out his chest, and a long list of swear words leave his mouth as he over-dramatically clutched his chest. To which you always laughed so hard you cried a little at another successful scare and his reaction. “I'll get you next time.” he mumbles, under his breath, a cheeky grin on his handsome face as he plans when best to get you back.

So now, with an upper hand, he was hoping that he could give you a big fright and jump out of your closet when you least expect it. But what happened was so much more surprising.

You had just gotten back to your shared apartment after what felt like the longest week of your life. You had been drowning in deadlines at work and were so glad that it was friday evening so you could finally get a proper break. After ‘gracefully’ hanging up your jacket on the hooks near the front door and tossing your keys into the bowl on the entryway table, you immediately take off your bra as you walk into your apartment. Throwing it on the back of one of the barstools sitting in front of your kitchen island.

A loud sigh exhaling from your mouth as the pressure is released from your sore shoulders. It had been a long day at work before you ran around afterwards, getting a whole bunch of errands done that you had been putting off. So you were exhausted and understandably so. 

You kick off your shoes as you walk through the messy apartment, not bothering to put them away where they belong or tidy up the growing mess just yet. No, first you need to unwind from the long ass week you had. Besides, the weekend started tomorrow, and you would have plenty of time to clean up then and before Dieter came back a week and a half from now.

You sighed again sadly thinking about your boyfriend. God, you missed him. He had been gone about 3 months now, and each day didn't get any easier. When the two of you were together, you were attached at the hip. Spending all the time you could together; talking, laughing, cuddling and fucking.

So it was quite a change the last few months going from spending almost all your time with your favourite person to almost none, except the few short calls Dieter managed to find time to have with you amongst his very busy schedule. 

You tried to remind yourself of the fact that Dieter would be back before you knew it, and then you could once again spend all the much needed time together that you wanted.

You opened your fridge looking for a snack. You could have to tie your over till dinner that you would order yourself later, a treat for the end of a busy week. 

You picked a few string cheese packets from the chilly shelves of your fridge before closing it shut with your hip as you walked off into your living room. Sitting down with a big “oof” on your couch and immediately sinking deep into the plush cushions as far as you could.

Dieter's heart was beating fast as he watched you through the horizontal slats of the storage closet door. He waited with baited breath, trying to find the perfect time to jump out and give you both the scare and surprise of a lifetime. He had been lucky enough to arrive an hour or so before you got home, which gave him plenty of time to get ready and pick the best hiding spot before you arrived.

He bites his lip, trying to hold back the chuckles wanting to escape as he imagined your hopefully soon to be shocked face. He watches as you get comfy on the couch and can’t help but look at you with adoration, even with dark circles under your eyes and your hair slightly untamed, you looked like a dream, the prettiest thing he has seen. 

You quickly finish your cheese sticks, hungrier than you thought you were, and toss the wrappers on the coffee table. Yet another thing to be cleaned up tomorrow. You let out a long yawn and stretched your arms above your head. A cheeky smile graces your mouth as you realise how you're going to spend the rest of your night unwinding.

You waste no time in reaching into the draws of your coffee table before you and pulling out a dark green bong with small red flowers decorating it that Dieter got you for your birthday last year. You put it down the top of the coffee table briefly as you pull out a matching glass box with your stash in it and a red grinder. 

Your fingers are working swiftly in their practiced work as you get your first cone ready. You pull out your black zippo lighter with your and Dieters' initials and the day the two of you started dating engraved on the front. You flick your thumb over the flint wheel a few times until it ignites. You take in a fraction of a breath before putting your mouth on the end of the glass tube, tilted towards you.

Holding the flame over dried grounds, watching as the white smoke slowly crawls up the neck of the bong. You let the smoke enter your lungs, filling you with warmth.

Your lips only disconnect when all the smoke is gone and you breathe in a little of fresh air. You hold it in your mouth for a few seconds before you tilt your head back and exhale all the hazy smoke. Your loose fist covers your mouth when you let a small cough. 

You decide to do one more hit before you put down the ‘vase’ and let your head rest against the center of the back of the couch. Your legs spread wide, carelessly, as you wait for the drug to slowly take its effects. You groan as you lie back on the couch with a mouthful of smoke. You tilt your head up to look up at the ceiling as you let the hazy white cloud float from your parted lips.

Reaching down beside you, your fingers find something from out under your couch, a rectangle box. You open it to reveal a matte purple 8 inch, life-like, dildo. Fit with veins, balls at the base, and all. Your mouth waters just from the sight.

You have been extremely horny as of late. You always are when Dieter goes away for long periods of time, and you don’t have him to give you toe-curling orgasms all the time. You can never make yourself cum quite as hard as Dieter can make you come, but not from lack of trying. You lazily scoot down the couch a bit so you can take your pants and underwear off. 

Dieter eyes bulge in head when he realises what you about to do and he swears his heart skips a beat when he sees that you're wearing his boxer briefs, even more so when he sees a glistening line of arousal, saturating them. He palms his now fully erect cock through his jeans, as his eyes connect with your glistening folds.

You take the hefty dildo out of the box and half haphazardly toss the container to the ground. Your breath hitches in your throat as you make quite work of sliding it through your folds, the tip catches deliciously on your clit.

You toss it to the side for a quick sec and reach down to your bong on the coffee table, after taking another cone you put it back on the table and grab the remote of the table, flicking on the tv and putting on one of your favourite vibey sex playlists on spotify on.

You sigh as you lean back and you take off your work shirt, leaving you in nothing but a flimsy old tank top, which you nipples prominently stick out of and some cosy socks. You pull your breasts out of your shirt and start groping yourself while watching the screen playing at a low volume, with hazy eyes.

You soon pick the silicone dick up again and slowly tease yourself by tracing around your lips and through your dripping seam. Your head lulls on the back of the couch. You tease around your aching hole with the tip before pushing in ever so slightly. Your eyes roll back for a second as you moan at the slight stretch. “D-dieter.” You softly call out.

His eyes bulge out of his sockets watching you, his hand unconsciously reaching down under the elastic of his pants to feel his rock-hard erection. He swipes his thumb over his weeping tip and has to bite back a groan.

You pump in so slowly, only till it reaches halfway before you pull it out further again. You continue this to help work yourself open.

He watches you intently, stroking himself to the slow rhythm youv’e set for fucking yourself. He uses his other hand to pinch his base every few minutes, to keep from blowing his load, so close just from the sight of you.

God, he doesnt even care about scaring and surprising you anymore, all he cares about is watching you as you fuck your self, quietly calling out his name as you take your time in getting to your release. He has half a mind to just jump out now and fuck you himself but the sight of you spread out for him, caught up in your own little pleasure-filled world is a sight to good to be true. 

He studies your form like he doesn't know it like the back of his hand, like he hasn't spent hours upon hours coaxing the prettiest little moans and whimpers from you, caressing over every single inch of you.

His eyes will never grow tired of the sight of you, your centre gushing with arousal, your eyes fighting to stay open, your mouth on the other hand, fighting to stay closed as a beautifully orchestrated ensemble of curses, moans, groans and his name come flooding out of your mouth.

His mouth waters as the ring of your arousal grows thicker around the base of the silicone cock. He missed the taste of you so much, while he was away. He loved spending hours between your legs, until you were shaking and overstimulated and had to beg him to stop. Crying out “Dieter! Please!” as you struggled to push away his starved mouth.

Your head is feeling quite light now, and the pleasure is rushing through your veins as you increase the speed of your strokes. You keep chanting Dieter’s name, over and over again, softly as if it will summon him somehow. Well shit, maybe it does.

Before he even realises what he is doing, his hand is fumbling for the doorknob of the closet, and he is stepping out, sweaty, and disheveled, all just from watching you. Your heart stops for a second as you hear the closet door near you open, your brain unable to come up with any sane reasonings until Dieter walks out flushed and sheepishly in a trance, consumed by his love and lust for you. 

“Dieter?” You whisper, shocked to your core, that he is standing in front of you and still not entirely convinced that he isn't a hallucination caused by your hornyness and longing for him. And also maybe the drugs too.

He swallows harshly, his throat dry. All the liquids in his body seemingly have traveled lower in anticipation. You're about to jump up from the couch and squeeze him till his ribs break, but he beats you to it, sinking to the floor in front of you and hugging your calves tightly. As much as you missed your baby, you can't help but feel a little awkward, having been caught masturbating and still with the dildo between your legs, no doubt.

Before you can even clear your throat and try to explain yourself, Dieter starts kissing along the tops of your thighs, up your stomach, then sternum, up your throat till his lips lock onto yours. He kisses you with such meaning and passion as he tries and conveys all the feeling of how much he missed you and is so glad to see you now into a single kiss

“God. I. Missed.You. So. Much. Baby.” He says in between quick pecks before once again consuming your mouth with his own, trying to make up for all that lost time he wasn't able to taste your lips on his.

You break the kiss with a gasp, looking down to your legs where Dieter is spreading them to see the current state of your throbbing pussy. “Fuck and it sure looks like she missed me too, huh sweetheart. Just oozing and weeping, begging for my touch. Ain't that right baby?” He lovingly teases.

You grin and spread your legs even further to let him get an even better look at you swollen, glistening folds, still clenching around the girth of the dildo. He reaches his hand up between your legs and pulls the toy in and out of you slowly, eliciting a whimper from you.

“Fuck.” He groans, completely enthralled by the sight of you, and the growing creamy ring of arousal you have created around the base of the cock. He continues to slowly pump it in and out of you, as you squirm above him, your once lost orgasm now coming so close to grasp again. 

“Dieter...please.” You croon, begging him not to stop as you feel the edge of your high starts to wash over you.

“Atta girl, fuck just like that. Cum for me baby.” He softly demands, as he works the now shiny dildo hard, fast and deep into your cunt. He sits up a bit on his knees and hovers over you.

Leaning his head to the side he starts to suck on your pulsing clit. His eyes roaming between your leaking hole and trembling thighs, up to your red, cloudy eyes struggling to stay open with your brows furrowed above them. Your mouth agape, curses and whimpers as your orgasm hits you full force. 

He watches with blown eyes, mouth hanging open, nearly drooling at the sight of your back arching off the couch, as the waves of your orgasm crash over you. He slowly pumps the cock in and out of you, prolonging your high till your legs close firmly around it. He carefully opens them back enough so he can pull out the cock.

He palms himself as he inspects the aftermath, mouth watering from the sight and smell of your creamy residue slathered upon the tip to the flared base of the slick silicone. He sticks out his tongue and brings the base, where most of the cum has gathered in a band round the bottom, to his mouth. You watch stunned and too aroused to speak as he licks it clean of your sweet drippings. 

“God baby, missed the taste of this sweet pussy.” he groans. You clench around nothing as you watch him, eyes fluttering behind closed lids, messily tongue the silicone like one might lick brownie or cookie batter of a spatula.

After he finishes with the lower half, his lips pink and shiny, he wordlessly brings the tip up to your face. You grin devilishly before opening your lips wide and sucking the fat head into your mouth. You too moan at the sweet taste of yourself, not often shared directly from the source but usually from Dieters tongue do you taste the sticky release of your climax.

He palms his painfully hard cock through his pants, before spreading your thighs wide once again, and feasting on the remaining juices. You moan as best as you can with the cock down your throat, before removing it from your mouth and sitting it beside you as you watch Dieter's beautiful curls bob up and down between your legs. 

His tongue slides from your quivering hole to your clit, licking flatly. He alternates between sucking your nub, to fucking into your wet hole.

You fight to keep your thighs open, to not crush his head or let the gorgeous sight below you be hidden, but you can’t any more as the drug haze inside your veins seems to have taken all your strength. Sensing your struggle, Dieter curls his arms around your thighs, holding them open and drags your center closer to his hungry mouth.

You whimper at the dull pain that you feel from his tight grip holding you apart, just under your breaking point. The aching soreness from your legs being spread so wide, only adding to the intensity of pleasure rolling around in your stomach. 

He alternates between eating you messily, and slowly picking you apart. Motorboating his lips and nose between your folds, and precise and firm licks on your clit while curling his thick fingers up into that sweet, sweet spot inside you, that has you moaning, incohesive gibberish from your pleasure and drug intoxication.

Even with Dieter being the sober one (surprisingly), he sounds just as wrecked as you, if not more. So drunk and intoxicated on you and your pussy, something he and you both thought he was deprived of way too long.

Soon you are reaching yet another, and surely not the last of night, orgasm. Your thighs shake with the intensity of the pleasure seeping into your veins. Your lips go from being an wide ‘o’ shape to a cheesy wide grin as the dopamine and endorphins flood your system. 

Dieter makes sure he licks up every single drop of your essence before he rises off his knees slightly and encases you in a massive, big bear hug. Feeling what little air was left in your lungs, you giggle along with Dieter breathlessly as you squeeze his middle just as hard.

He lifts his head to plant the softest, sweet kiss on your lips before rubbing his nose against yours. You take a deep, tired breath in and your eyes flutter close, his delicious musky scent filling your nostrils once again. 

“I missed you so much too, baby.” You whisper. You admire the deep crows feet around his eyes as he grins, his dark rich eyes sparking as he beams with happiness, love, and lust. His smile turns into something that of the devils as he begins to caress your body.

He lifts up your arms and takes off your tank top, throwing it on the ground somewhere. Before his lips lock onto your pebbled nipples. Groaning as he squeezes and plays with the other one, before switching his mouth over. After leaving your tits a glistening, saliva-covered mess he descends further down your body, his kiss-bruised lips planting themselves on every single inch of skin he can see. 

“Mm need to fffffuck you sweetttt thing, and ffffeel that heavenly p-pussy wwwrapped around me againnn.” He mumbles, his lips smushed against your stomach. You softly laugh and nod your head. Getting the gist of what he was saying and knowing him well enough to know what he said that you didn't catch.

“Please Dieter. Please fuck me. Need… to feel you. Missed you…. and your cock…. so fucken much.” You garble out in your own form of a coherent sentence.

Dieter can’t help but whimper listening to you, his cock pulses with need for release as he listens to your confession (although mumbled) of need for him.

He can’t wait any longer.

He reaches under your ass and lifts you up and shifts you so you're lying on your back longways on the couch. He quickly shucks his shirt off, getting a little stuck in the process as he does so. You both giggle and laugh as your hands go up to help him. He soon pulls it off and makes quick work off, shoving his pants and boxers off his legs.

Both of your eyes are shining with something so deep and emotional as you admire each other's naked bodies. A sight seen countless times between the two of you but one that neither would ever grow sick of. You reach up and stroke your hands up and down Dieter's front, feeling his strong chest and plush belly that you love very, very much. He whimpers as your hands trail down into the coarse hair at the base of his leaking cock. 

Even as he towers over your relaxed form, there is an air of submission to him still. The way his eyes are glazed over with no other drug than love, pupils blown wider than when he was higher than a kite on LSD. His eyes brows slightly furrowed in, his chest moving fast as he pants. His bottom lip trembling with anticipation of connecting your bodies together so intimately once again how they should be. How they would always be if Dieter got a chance. 

He shakes himself out of his love trance and lowers himself over you, his forearms resting on the couch beside your head. You close your eyes and kiss him deeply, giving him a piece of you that no one but him gets to have. Literally and spiritually. He groans almost pathetically when you reach your hand down and swipe his tip through your once again dripping folds. 

Your squinting and red eyes look up at him pleadingly, just begging to put the both of you out of the agonising wait and finally feel each other. He smiles a soft smile before he lines himself up and slowly pushes into your pulsing cunt. 

“Ohhhh….ohhh…oh…yeah, honey.” He moans out as he slowly bottoms out in your cunt. You gasp as you adjust to his considerably large girth. Something you truly will never fully get used to. Your hands clutch as his biceps, grounding yourself as your fluttering pussy adjusts to him.

“God….fucken hell, baby. You feel somehow even better than I remember. Jesus christ.” He pants, his face screwing up from the pleasure just simply inside your beautiful heat gives him. He desperately tries to think of anything else other than your stunning form below him and just made for him cunt, feeling already so close to blowing his load.

He reaches down and pinches his base and quickly begins Jack hammering into you fast and hard, to hopefully get you off before he ultimately finishes way quicker than he intended to.

“Oh f-f-fuck, Dieter!” You cry out, eyes squeezing tight at the immediate hard and fast pace Dieter has set while fucking you.

“Im s-sorry b-baby. Fuckkk. You just feel too damn good. I just n-n-need. Ahhh. Need you come before I-I-I do.” He stutters. 

Your heart and cunt clenches around, eyes rolling back from the pure ecstasy coursing through your as Dieter repeatedly stuffs his fat tip into the squishy part deep inside you.

“OoOoh shit, baby. Can feel you clenching real good around me, god damn!”  He groans.

You lay there bonelessly, whimpering as Dieter’s fingers circle you clit just right. Sending you over the edge into the deep depths of mind-numbing pleasure. Your body shakes as your orgasm comes crashing down and over you, with Dieter only seconds after.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. Oh oh oh shit,” He wails out with every rope of cum that spurts out of him, his hips almost unconsciously thrusting themselves as deep as they can go every time, only stopping on the last rope of cum, burying his now spent cock deep into your pussy. He lets his full weight drop on top of you as he catches his breath from his own high. 

You breathe out with a soft smile, feeling such bliss and warmth from Dieter being here with you. He moves his head from your neck and looks at you. You both smile wide and break in hearty chuckles, before kissing each other.

You relish in the feeling of Dieter’s chest booming with laughter pressed up against yours, feeling his beating heart beat under you hand, showing that he is here with you now and just Dieter in general, his body fitting on top of your like a puzzle, like two pieces that you never would’ve known hadn't always been connected together like this. 

And that’s exactly how you fall asleep, entwined in each others arms, connected in all ways possible, smiling to yourself as you listen to Dieter’s soft snores and you feel his heart beating strongly against yours, before you two let the sweet blissful temptations of sleep take you too. Everything was going to be okay now that your love was back with you. 

*********

[helenstudies]

These are my language learning timelines and how long I've studied to get to that level!

English: fluent C2 > about thirteen years. I started learning when I was 5 (in kindergarten). I got to this level by age 18, when I started working as a professional English - Burmese translator.

Korean: fluent TOPIK 6 level > eight years. I taught myself how to read hangeul at age 15 and achieved TOPIK level 6 in 23. It should be noted that I attended a language program in Korea for nine months to accelerate the process. I started from level 1 and ended in 4/5 in nine months.

Chinese: advanced HSK6 level > eleven years. I started learning chinese when I was 13 and now I'm 24. And no, my chinese ancestry didn't help because no one in my family speaks Chinese.

Japanese: Intermediate JLPT N3 level > nine years. Like Korean, I taught myself how to read hiragana and katakana at age 15 but I prioritized Chinese and Korean. It should be noted that I really struggled with Japanese and had to attend basic classes three times to get to an N5 level. And then twice more to get to N4.

I think this is important for all langblrs to realize! I am not "gifted" at all. I just started studying a bit earlier than y'all because I knew my life long interests are in language, literature and translation. I learned all these so that I could read books in their original language.

It should be noted that in Myanmar, I graduated high school at age 16/17. Since then, I've been attending a distance education university (before I dropped out in 2021 of course) and I've been working freelance or part time jobs. So this is an actual realistic timeline as an adult who also has a life outside of studying.

If you work full time, study full time or have responsibilities in your life that you have to prioritize, you might need to take a few years longer than me. You might even need to retake classes and fail a few tests. And it's okay.

I can't emphasize this enough so I will do this again and again: not being able to quickly learn language is not a failure on your part. Don't fall into ageist traps because you really do retain your brain functions well into your years. You can keep learning and keep improving as an adult. Look up neuroplasticity and stop listening to "polyglot" influencers.

Another thing I want to mention is in my last post, I wrote that language learning takes years and you'll just have to make these years bearable and I mean it. Just sitting down and studying for hours is annoying to me. So, I personally make it bearable by reading stories and translating songs or poems because that's what my brain likes. I like writing chinese characters but it's boring to just sit down and write them. So I write them while watching tv because I have adhd and I need to fidget anyway. My goal is to read books in their original languages so I read, read and read. You have to figure out why you want to learn these languages and see how you can make it bearable.

[mysadcorner]

Oh wow! I'm so excited to see someone else writing Black Butler fics! I felt alone </3

I have a request for some headcannons!

How do you think Sebastian would react to fem NewDemonMaidReader?

Newborn Demon?

Reader is aloof and often slacking in servicing her contract, only really doing anything for said contract if she finds it entertaining.

She teases her contractor a lot with "should've read the fine print", stating that she's not fully bound to them, but they are bound to her.

Would Sebastian enjoy her shady nature, or find it distasteful?

I've had this idea for a while, but I can't seem to find a way to execute it properly. So I pass it to you :) if you want it of course

Sorry if it's too long! I tried to condense my creative thoughts!

From: @luckyladylottie

Sebastian Michaelis x NewBornDemon!Reader Headcanons

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- Credit to the images owners - Please be specific about characters wanted in headcanons and read request rules -

Masterlist Navigation

• Sebastian will be quite apprehensive when meeting with another demon, especially one contracted to someone just like he is to ‘Ciel’. However, seeing that you’re a recently new demon raises a lot of concerns for him, he’s quite aware of how obvious or vindictive some demons can be, and will definitely try to keep an eye on you when you’re around to see if you act out or misbehave by his own standards.

• He certainly won’t agree with your styles of being a butler or maid, if that’s your method of blending in. He holds himself to quite a high standard, especially since the social circles his master is from is quite significant and valued as important. Anything less than absolute dutifulness, at least for appearances, will be judged by him.

• He’s surrounded by a lot of people with questionable personalities, and certainly those that are more than annoying. However, no matter what kind of personality you have, he wouldn’t really mind. He mainly bases his judgement on people by their actions, not by how they are generally perceived.

• The relationship between the two of you would gradually become that similar to mutual enemies, despite usually being civil to each other. This would especially be the case if you’re usually defiant, refusing to follow his lead or accepting his methods of doing things and behaving.

• He would always be expressing his disapproval of whatever methods you’re using or your behaviour, but he would keep this for in private. Usually he would just give you a horrendous glare and occasionally steps in when you’ve seriously gone too far in his opinion - as subtly as he can intervene, though.

• He would want to set a better example for you, even more so since he knows that you haven’t been a demon for nearly as long as he has. But eventually he will just settle to letting you do your own thing, knowing that trying to influence you at all would just be pointless.

[ilsolefiesta]

the unpleasant thing about asteroids

hello-hello, long time no see! this month has been crazy, but here we are again. today I want to talk about an important topic that might make some people disappointed or even angry with me. some might say that I don't understand astrology at all.  the issue I want to raise is the total madness surrounding various asteroids and their persona charts. take it easy, it's not more than a fun addition to "real" astrology. 

however, the fact that people have become suddenly obsessed with finding their Aphrodite asteroid in order to check if they are necessarily extremely beautiful... (note: guys, Aphrodite is simply the Greek name for Venus, which was already occupied...)

or Boda, for example. how will my wedding look? c'mon, Boda was only discovered in 1938. unlike the main planets and objects which have been observed since ancient times, and some for at least 200-400 years, modern asteroids discovered recently may not actually have any patterns yet. and the names are mostly given according to astronomical standards and the imagination of those who discovered them. sometimes, I come across really bizarre and far-fetched facts that are presented as genuine astrological observations. and many people become really disappointed when they don't find Fama in their 1st house/Leo/5 degree. do you want me to create a similar "100% true" fact right in front of your eyes? if asteroid Mr. Spock (2309) forms a conjunction with your Venus, then "Star Trek" is destined to be your favorite movie. (well, the asteroid actually gets its name from the discoverer's cat)  absurd, right? another example: there's an asteroid named Tomhanks (12818). oh. my. god. it falls to my 1st house! (I'm not kidding, btw) does it mean Tom Hanks has a great influence on my life or personality? I couldn't even remember his face until I looked up a photo...

want more? my best friend has a slightly unusual internet nickname. she calls herself "Stasik", which is a diminutive of a Russian boy's name. she has her own funny story about how and why she chose this nickname, and it has become strongly associated with her personality. guess what? exactly. there is also an asteroid called Stasik (4131) and it makes me feel cringey even to write that I've checked it... well, this name is literally a part of who she is, so there must be some connection, right? it's just in her 9th house. that's all. NOTHING special. I want to emphasize one thing: I'm not against asteroids, and I use them myself often. however, there is a point where it can become a strange form of self-made astrology with even less evidence than traditional astrology. everyone has the right to believe what they want, but my opinion is like that:

some asteroids, such as "Starr" and "Glo", don't necessarily make you a star, even if they are in a harsh conjunction with your ASC. and the absence of these asteroids in "important" houses doesn't mean you lack star potential. btw, why is "Glo" associated with popularity, actually? why can't it simply represent the fact that you smoke a tobacco heater of the same name lmao? I hope you understand what I'm saying. astrology is more complex than people think, which is why it's easy to manipulate facts. that's okay, but please stay rational. I always say this, but astrology can help provide insights, but it shouldn't define or rule your life. 

take care and thank you for reading! Picture credits: mine