#i think I'm going to make a commonly asked questions post
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Haii! This isn't really a request but i was wondering how you made the moodboards so lined up? I was also wondering if you had any tips? I really want to start making some ^^ /gen /nm /genq
This is a really good question!! And because I wanted to answer it thoroughly, this answer got really really long lol so the it's under the cut!
The short answer is that I crop all of my pictures manually! I usually do that in the gallery on my phone, but it can also be done here on Tumblr. The aspect ratio you're looking for is 1:1, which makes a perfect square!! If you scroll through the pictures on (most of) my moodboards, you'll see that they line up uniformly as squares, which lets me make perfect 3:3 grids! Also, I don't usually use gifs, but those need to be cropped by a third-party app or website most of the time if you plan on using those.
As for general tips, I gave some advice here! I don't have much advice on how to make moodboards because I think everyone has a unique style that they bring to their content. I'll tell you a few things that I do for my stuff, though!
I usually stick to about three main colors per moodboard, unless it's supposed to be colorful specifically!
I have a few go-to items that I put in my moodboards: blankets, stuffies, pacifiers, sweaters, books, and sometimes also lights!!
I add as many tags as I can think of to my stuff! That's how people discover new content!!
The last thing I can think of is I always try to make the theme of moodboard clear. Like, I ask myself 'if there was no title or request attached to it, would people still be able to guess what it's supposed to be?' This is easiest with characters because you can just put their face in there! Idk thinking about that helps me sometimes with sticking to a theme!!
That's all I got. I hope this helped at all!! If you have anymore questions feel free to ask! If that's all, I hope you have fun making stuff!
#this got so long#i'm sorry about that#i hope it at least helps you a little!!#I'm excited to see what you create!#Pip's barks#i think I'm going to make a commonly asked questions post#maybe that will help some people out#anyway thanks for coming to my ted talk#this was a fun question to answer!!#ps i hope this is what you meant by lined up#if not let me know and I'll try to help!#this wasn't edited there's probably grammatical errors
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The Absence of India in Discussions on Queer Asian Media
So, yesterday @lurkingshan tagged me in an ask she got from @impala124 about the absence of India when we're talking about queer Asian media. I was intially just going to reblog it with my thought, but as it kept growing I figured it'd be best to just make my own post. Please read the ask linked above first so this makes sense.
*cracks knuckles* this is going to be the most fun I've had writing a post in ages. (For a little background, I'm a queer Indian, born and raised)
So, this is a very interesting question on a subject I've been rotating in my head for the past several months. There's a lot of different variables that contribute to the noticeable lack of discussion on Indian and South Asian queer media in general, so I'm just going to talk through the ones I've noticed a little randomly.
Talking about Asian media in general, it's well known that the mass popularity of kpop and anime has contributed massively to the increase in popularity of Asian media. If you've been in the Asian media fandom for any amount of time at all, you'll have noticed that media from Korea, Japan, and China gets by far the most attention from international audiences; all East Asian countries. There may be several reasons for this, but in particular, it's no secret that the fetishization of East Asians is a massive proponent in the popularity of media from these countries, while there's no such interest in South Asians. If we shift our focus to queer media specifically, media from these three countries is still extremely popular, with the addition of Thailand and the Philippines to some extent; both South East Asian countries. From what I've seen, there's very little international interest in media from South Asian countries (although, if we're talking about India specifically, I can't exactly say anything. Bollywood has not been good lately). If we talk about queer South Asian media, the scope of interest falls even further. If you'll notice, MyDramaList, one of the most commonly used websites for finding and tracking Asian shows only allows for East and South-East Asian shows. So, that's one reason—there's just not much international interest in Indian media in general. As Shan said in the initial post, it's partially because of a difference in priorities. Korea is notorious for using media to gain global standing, the role of the 'soft power' of Thai bls in the recent bills for equal marriage in Thailand has been widely discussed, the list goes on. Could racism also play a part in the massive gulf of interest in media from East Asian versus South Asian countries? Probably. But I'm not going to get into that too much.
Moving on, there's obviously a massive lack of queer media in India. I think this is greatly exacerbated by the fact that it's very hard to support the people making queer media beyond buying and/or streaming their work. The majority of people engaging with Indian queer media are queer Indians, and a lot of us have to do so in secret because of the society we live in. This means that creators that have to push through several obstacles to publish their work often receive little incentive to continue doing so because of the lack of engagement. Because of the lack of media, international fans are less likely to become interested in queer Indian media, and the cycle continues.
I will say though, contrary to what Shan said, I think Indian media, particularly anything that came out post 2019 might actually be on the easier end of the spectrum when it comes to access. This may simply be bias, so forgive me if I'm wrong here, but from what I've seen, a lot of queer Indian shows are in fact available on streaming sites, and at most you'd need a vpn to access them. I think the two main things that actually hold back queer Indian media from becoming more popular are a lack of noise and it's relatively lower quality.
The main way we find out about new shows in this space is through either word of mouth (well actually, post) or because we follow production houses known for producing media. Because of the sparse nature of both the media and the consumers, there's very few people who learn enough about the media to want to give it a shot. For example, there's a film on netflix called Badhaai Do (hindi for Congratulate Us) that I've been meaning to watch for a while. It centers around a lavender marriage and I've heard a lot of good things about it, so I was slightly surprised to see that most of the people on tumblr I interact with who have been engaging with queer media for far longer than me had never heard of it. There's also a, Indian BL from 2017 called Romil and Jugal that I've written about before here, and I would've never learned of it's existence if not for a friend hearing about it from another friend of hers.
Because there's so little queer indian media, it's natural that the quality leaves much to be desired. The main issue is, because the queer asian media market has become so saturated lately people are becoming a lot more selective with what they watch, and for good reason. This means that queer media from india is simply unable to grow and improve over time, leaving it stagnant. Back in 2016-2018, the overall dearth of queer media from Asia meant that a lot of people were willing to watch shows that were average or even worse. Thailand particularly seems to have benefitted from this, being able to grow and evolve its queer media due to the successes of shows like SOTUS, 2gehter, TharnType and more even recently, KinnPorsche. Queer Indian media will have a much, much harder time with this because of all of the factors I've talked about and more, meaning that it is much harder for queer media to evolve. Honestly, though I haven't been able to watch/read much queer media from India, the stuff I have seen is really quite decent, it's just that it tends to fail in comparison to some of the brilliant stuff we're seeing from other countries. A while a ago, I bought four queer books by Indian authors, and of the three I've read so far, I'd genuinely recommend two, albeit one with quite a few reservations (I'll be writing about them sometime in the future, just haven't found the time yet). While talking about this with @neuroticbookworm, she brought up the excellent point of how Indian media in general has just been of fairly poor quality lately. It seems to me that a lot of it is catered to more conservative audiences, which results in people like me becoming disillusioned with Indian media and simply moving onto things from other countries. It has been a long time since I've watched anything worthwhile come out of Bollywood. So, it becomes even harder for queer Indian shows to be found at all; a majority of their target audience has already forsaken Indian media as a lost cause.
So, those are a bunch of reasons because of which there's not a lot of discussion about queer Indian media in fandom spaces like Tumblr. Something else I'd like to point out is, it's very hard for queer shows in India to gain much traction whatsoever. Live television slots are ruled by the infamous Indian serials, the majority of the audience being people in their late thirties and older, particularly women. And while homophobia is just as prevalent amongst the youth of India as it is amongst older generations, younger people are far more likely to be engaging with queer media, in India at least. This means that it would be near impossible for queer shows to air on live television the way they do in countries like Thailand and Japan. The majority of Indian youth use global streaming services to watch shows, hence the greater concentration of queer shows on service platforms. (Romil and Jugal is something of a dark horse here—I don't believe it was ever aired, but it was produced by a producer who has a few decently popular serials under her belt and is available on an Indian steaming service—another reason I'm determined to research how tf this show ever came into existence) If we talk of movies, the industry is limited by the iron fist of Bollywood, another reason it's very hard for queer movies to be produced and why they're generally found on streaming sites.
There's just not a lot of people who have the balls it would take to make a queer Indian show/movie and push it to the Indian public beyond a streaming service. I mean, we're all seeing what's happening with the Love in The Big City drama right now, and believe me, public backlash in India would be the same, if not much worse. And if no one in India is watching these shows, why would anyone in any other part of the world? There's barely any public figures that would be willing to participate in such a project, so queer media stays underground. Currently, Karan Johar is the most popular—and one of the only—out celebrities in Bollywood, and, well, he's treated as something of a laughing stock by the public. He has one or two queer adjacent shows under his belt as a producer, but once again, they're barely known and available only on Netflix. There was a movie called Dostana in which he played a straight guy pretending to be gay but, well, that speaks for itself. And well, I can't exactly blame him for it, knowing how the Indian entertainment industry is.
To talk a little more about the specific comparison between India and Korea, I think you're fairly accurate in saying that the two countries seem to be roughly on par in terms of homophobia, although that's an extremely vague statement that's rather hard to either prove or disprove. While the difference in international attention towards Korean and Indian media is certainly a major component of the difference in discussion about the queer media from these countries, there's obviously other things that go into it as well. There's this video I watched some time ago on the progression of queer representation in K-dramas that's quite well researched. It's an hour and a half long, so in case you don't have the time to watch it (though I do recommend it), it basically talks about some of the dramas with queer rep that have aired on Korean television and their impact. While it's hard to gauge the level of impact of these shows on the availability of bls and gls in Korea, they certainly had an effect, if only telling the queer population of Korea that they are seen and heard. To my knowledge (although I may be mistaken), no such queer rep has ever aired on Indian television, meaning that there's nothing to push creators to put queer media out there. There have been old movies and shows that depict queerness, but none of them ever reached the sort of the scale where they may have some sort of impact on the industry. As I mentioned earlier, the widespread popularity of K-dramas (and k-pop) does make it easier for creators to make queer media since there's a much higher chance of the shows being successful thanks to the international audience. Bringing back Love In The Big City, the success of the book abroad and the high probability of the show being well received internationally is probably one of the reasons it was able to be produced amongst domestic backlash.
Now, I've been talking a lot about how it's difficult for queer Indian media to gain any sort of international recognition with domestic attention. However, it's not necessarily the case. Here's where I start rambling (I say, as if this post isn't verging on 2k words). It's been proven that the presence of the international market allows for greater creative freedom in spaces beyond television. The best example comes from Korea's very own 'soft power'; K-pop. There's a K-pop group called Dreamcatcher that debuted in 2017 with a rock sound and horror concept that was extremely rare in kpop at the time. They succeeded mainly by focusing most of their promotions to the foreign market, knowing that their concept would not be well liked in Korea. And they succeeded. Today, Dreamcatcher has a sizeable fandom and has even been growing in popularity in Korea, with the Korean public warming up to their genre and having influenced other girl groups to try out similar sounds. We've already talked about the lack of international attention for Indian media, but there's also the issue that the producers of queer Indian media aren't marketing to foreign audiences, which remain ignorant.
That's all I have, this is so long good lord. All in all, there's a bunch of factors that feed into each other creating a cycle which means that, unless there's a break somewhere, queer Indian media will remain unrecognized. I'm excited to see what other people have to say, because this is a topic close to my heart and I'd definitely enjoy seeing more discussions around it.
#yet another 2k post by yours truly who apparently Does not Have Self Control#this was fun though!#uffff im tired#this is not edited so forgive me if there's error or i repeat stuff#how do i even tag this#queer indian media#queer media#desiblr#fandom#bl meta#ql#meta#indian media#asian media#asian dramas#asian lgbtq dramas#bl industry
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Aventurine... You've Gotta Hand It To Him
An in-depth analysis of Aventurine's hands and why they're critical to his character.
Was asked if I could post this (VERY LONG) analysis I made all about Aventurine's hands - niche, perhaps, but I love him very much and he has a LOT of focus placed on his hands in almost every aspect of his story/design! I think it makes for a really neat insight into his character. Let’s go! 2K words or so so we're under a 'read more', folks :P Hope someone finds it interesting :)
Content warning for (very brief mentions of) sexual theming and violence.
I MIGHT be reaching with some of this but I tried to make sure everything was in order, so if there are any inaccuracies lmk! I'm Always on the lookout for more valuable Avencheem lore 😋
The Avgin - Culture and Symbolism
Kakavasha was born 'blessed' with unnaturally good luck by the Avgin goddess, Gaiathra Triclops, who is often depicted as a left palm with three eyes upon it. If we assume that therefore, someone’s left hand is representative of Gaiathra, then we can draw some interesting conclusions!
When reciting Gaiathra’s prayer, the typical accompanying gesture is for two participants to put their left palms together while saying it, which - by ‘covering’ Gaiathra’s eyes with each other’s palms, they are (as per the words of the prayer) ‘keeping their schemes forever concealed’.
In the version of Aventurine’s boss form that was removed from the Divergent Universe, he has an attack that changes name for each phase of the fight, as follows:
Phase 1: “Eyes Once Closed for Lies”,
Phase 2: “Eyes Twice Closed for Trickery”
Phase 3: “Eyes Thrice Closed for Schemes”.
This suggests that the symbolic act of Gaiathra closing her eyes is blessing the person in question not to have their lies, trickery, or schemes revealed - “I do not perceive it, nor shall anyone else.” This is important to the Avgin, as they seem to have a cultural focus on underhanded methods of achieving their goals, although this was blown greatly out of proportion by prejudice from other Sigonians, and (later) the wider cosmos. The game’s loading screen description of the Avgin is as follows:
“‘Avgin’ means ‘honey’ in the Sigonian language, yet those who irrationally fear Avgins unjustifiably distort the word's meaning to perpetuate Avgin stereotypes that portray them as crafty, smooth-talking, and capricious.”
Sparkle, when talking to Aventurine, also describes the Avgin as “...notorious throughout the entire universe! Liars, thieves, social manipulators, wolves in sheep's clothing... You're really living up to the reputation.”
The Avgin’s reputation as essentially ‘evil’ people, and the clear cultural and religious importance they place upon one’s left hand specifically, can reveal some interesting things about them (and therefore about Kakavasha):
In the real world, the left hand is very commonly considered to be the ‘wrong’ or ‘evil’ hand across many religions and cultures. The word ‘sinister’ (which may be a good descriptor for Aventurine’s behavior, or at least peoples' perception of him given how other characters react to him during the main questline) comes from a Latin word that means ‘on the left side’.
The French word for left, ‘gauche’ was borrowed back into english to mean ‘lacking social grace’ - and with Aventurine’s way of getting all up in peoples’ faces, grandstanding, being provocative, etc., it seems that ‘gauche’ isn’t a bad descriptor for him, either.
In the early 20th century, left-handedness was identified as ‘a biological anomaly, associated with deviancy but something that could be corrected away with behavioral reinforcement’.
Likewise, in the middle ages in England, left-handed people were more likely to be accused of witchcraft and burned at the stake. Sounds familiar when compared to the way Sigonia treated the Avgin - as evildoers, tricksters, backstabbers, etc.,
If the Avgin were so ‘left-handed’ in all senses of the phrase, then… perhaps the ‘behavioral correction’ they received could be justified...?
It is reinforced several times throughout both written lore and during gameplay that the Avgin’s beautiful appearances and high emotional intelligence were a source of jealousy to other clans and races, hence the perpetuation of the Avgin’s negative reputation - one that Aventurine ends up playing into, often intentionally.
Why bother trying to change the stereotype if he can use it to his advantage? Besides, it’s not like getting rid of the Avgins’ negative rep will help them now, anyway.
All this is to say that the concept of hiding your true intentions with your left hand - ‘keeping your cards close to your chest’, ‘bluffing’, ‘having an ace up your sleeve’, knowing when to ‘show your hand’ - is a huge overarching theme for the Avgin, and therefore for Aventurine.
Notice that a LOT of sayings to do with hiding things from others or manipulating people’s impressions of you and what they think you might do come from poker or other card games! I can’t think of any universe where the devs did that by accident. Nice work, devs!
The Left Hand
‘Sleight of hand’ is the name of Aventurine’s game, and he sure knows how to play it. ‘Sleight’ means “the use of dexterity or cunning, especially so as to deceive”, so naturally the suffix ‘- of hand’ brings Aventurine’s hands to the forefront as one of his main tools of the trade!
However, the devs once again outdid themselves - each of Aventurine’s hands is representative of parts of his character in very different ways.
Everything about Aventurine is designed to cleverly divert attention away from his real thoughts and feelings.
I’ll get the obvious out of the way: Aventurine’s left hand (as previously discussed) is critically important to his character. It represents so many things for him both visually and otherwise.
If you’re a regular Aventurine enjoyer it’s likely you know about his habit of hiding his left hand behind his back when he’s nervous or making a big (or life-threatening) gamble - but why?
He’s specifically hiding Gaiathra’s hand. I don’t think it’s a coincidence; Aventurine - by hiding away what is essentially a physical representation of his goddess - is ‘closing her eyes’, so he cannot be seen through (even if it’s purely subconscious).
He wants people locked onto his gaze and away from the hand he’s clutching Gaiathra’s ‘blessing’ of good luck so tightly with. (Note: the ironic nature of Aventurine’s relationship with his cursed blessing isn’t lost on me, but that’s another day’s essay. :))
This habit of hiding his left hand behind his back is (once you’re looking for it) very common in the majority of his animations, art, cinematics, and other various media, like in his character trailer when he’s about to reveal the result of his big dice roll; in a specific animation during his bossfight, where he’s actively banking on losing so he can carry out his ‘grand death’ (‘clutching his chips for dear life’, as his future self put it…); the idle animation where he’s fidgeting with one of his poker chips; or in the ‘Final Victor’ light cone, where he is playing russian roulette with his own life just to prove a point to Dr. Ratio (which was a little excessive, perhaps…).
Usually, having a hand behind your back is considered to be suspicious: you’re hiding something, perhaps a weapon.
And for Kakavasha, out of fear and knowing it’ll give him the upper hand, he hides his own weapon behind his back: the physical representation of all his schemes, strategies, lies, trickery, and tactics - and the last Avgin palm to touch another’s.
Perhaps in relation to his particularly strong connection with Gaiathra, Aventurine is also left-handed! Evidence? Sure!
As a general ‘fashion rule’ (and for practicality), wristwatches are worn on the non-dominant hand, and someone as fashion-conscious as Aventurine would very likely be aware of this. His watch is on his right wrist.
Additionally, he wears no rings on his left hand because writing or similar activities would be a pain to do with that much jewelry on. Further evidence can be found in this phone wallpaper of him released by Hoyoverse: he’s holding his phone with his left hand, and people usually operate their phones with their dominant hand. Similarly, in one of the many videos on the Hoyoverse YouTube channel (I’m sorry I don’t know which one it’s from), he goes to grab his tablet off the bedside table with his left hand, too.
The Right Hand
Aventurine’s character is, at its core, is all about defense. Protecting himself from harm, shielding his thoughts and feelings from others, creating an impenetrable barrier of flashy clothing and fake smiles to conceal his true self - this all presents in his moveset in battle, too.
He’s a preservation-class, shield-providing character. The critical thing to note is this: his defense all happens on the right hand. This includes his skill (throwing out chips with his right hand to shield his teammates), and his technique, which generates an additional shield for the team before the start of battle.
His right hand ‘shields’ him both literally and metaphorically in this sense. He wears all his rings on his right hand, because that’s the hand he wants you to focus on, the pretty, sparkly one with all the flashy jewelry and expensive wristwatch, the one that’s extended for you to shake (he shakes with his right hand), the only part of him most people get to touch. A part of the body furthest away from his heart, dazzling and defensive.
The outermost, superficial layer.
It’s the hand that more often performs captivating little coin tricks out in the open to catch people’s attention, keeping them focused on something that’s within his control, because so much of his life isn't.
On The Attack
Here’s the kicker though - this makes his left hand the attacking hand. When push comes to shove (or when he feels he needs to strike first), Aventurine lashes out with Gaiathra’s hand.
As mentioned before, his weapons are his schemes, his secrets, his tricks, his lies - and the hand holding all those chips so tightly is his left, the lucky hand, the one that has brought him success and saved his life time and time again.
Ultimately, it all comes down to relying on his raw luck to push him through (whether he's happy about that or not) when all his other methods of attack have been stripped away - and his hand trembles, because having to make a blind bet that his goddess (who did nothing to stop his family being massacred, yet is both cruel and benevolent enough to keep him alive) will save him yet again must be really fucking terrifying.
When Your Hands Are Tied...
Looking at both hands together, a design choice which I believe to be deliberate is the way he has bracelets of some variety over both his wrists. It’s a subtle imitation of manacles; he may have escaped his iron ones, but Aventurine now lives in golden handcuffs instead, bound by social shackles instead of physical ones.
He’s still a slave - just not in the traditional sense.
To my understanding (someone please correct me if I'm wrong, his timeline has some annoying gaps in it even though I tried very hard to figure it out ;-;), technically Aventurine legally belongs to the IPC.
He killed his most recent owner and so escaped his that particular ownership, sure, but when he barters with Jade, he asks her to pay him the ‘remainder of his market value’, which insinuates that it would therefore give him ownership of himself.
However, Jade doesn’t simply hand over the money: she pulls him into a job contract - a new form of imprisonment - without ever giving him real legal autonomy, never officially declaring him a free man. His hands are invisibly tied - bound by corporate and social 'manacles' to his job.
"Out, Damned Spot!"
Speaking of manacles, let’s talk about the ‘Hunger Games’, shall we?
Kakavasha is, at some indeterminate point, entered into a spectator sport where he is forced to fight thirty-four other slaves to the death.
It is mentioned that he has no other weapon than the bindings on his wrists and the chain between them - and he emerges ‘victorious’ (physically the victor... perhaps not mentally or emotionally, though).
In the quest notes during Aventurine’s (literal) trip through the maze while he’s making his way to the stage for his grand finale, he describes himself with the word ‘murderer’, showing that he’s clearly distraught by what happened and resents himself for it.
Following on from this, a possible interpretation of the design choice to have Aventurine wear gloves is for him to (figuratively) hide the blood on his hands.
Aventurine’s gloves simultaneously create a literal barrier between himself and the world, and work as another piece of fancy clothing to add to his impenetrable, sparking defense. The closest match I could find to the style of Aventurine’s gloves are short dress gloves or wrist gloves, which are specifically fashion items as opposed to practical ones.
(As a cheeky little aside, the absolute closest style match I could find for his gloves are latex or leather womens’ gloves most commonly used in BDSM, which is fun! Maybe I’m reaching, but I like to think it’s a subtle way of making him more effeminate - and in Aventurine’s case, therefore a subtle call to his sexuality imo - and also another little detail to help push his ‘provocative’ appearance and demeanor.)
Conclusion
Our hands are how we interact with the world. In Aventurine’s case, they’re how he keeps the world pushed as far away from himself as possible, all the while gripping onto his ‘good luck’ for dear life.
Aventurine’s hands are his weapons, his shield, his faith, his fear, and his guilt, decorated with jeweled rings and bound in golden handcuffs.
Ultimately, when Aventurine offers to lend a hand to the Trailblazer, when he shows Sunday his hand (and a bit more besides) during their meeting, and when he forces Acheron’s hand during his bossfight, it's so that his own hands are free to do whatever he needs to orchestrate his greatest scheme yet...
...for better or worse.
#I would apologise for this being so long#but im not going to :) I put a lot of effort in hahah#wont apologise for all the 'hand' puns either#roxirinhsr#hsr#aventurine#aventurine hsr#aventurine character analysis#character analysis#honkai star rail#aventurine honkai star rail#honkai star rail aventurine#hsr aventurine#LONG POST#roxirinother
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i honestly know little to nothing about actual irl sex, or my own body. i feel like I have a whole series of questions to ask you, but I want to start with, what are things commonly put in smutty fanfiction that are genuinely NOT REAL irl?
I did record a 'Vagina Masterclass' video for a group once. Perhaps I'll post it on here. It covered a little section of how the vagina is actually shaped, where the cervix sits within it, etc.
It made me laugh as it's my bread and butter to know vaginas back to front. We shall see! But, here we go for your question...
ADVANCE WARNING OF GRAPHIC SEX DESCRIPTION, INCLUDING THE PHYSIOLOGY OF THE MALE AND FEMALE FORM, AND THEORETICAL SEX-RELATED INJURY.
You don't actually feel a cock twitch inside you, nor the feeling of them ejaculating inside you. It's just...not a thing, at least for every woman I've ever spoken to about it.
Most men cum very little, like a teaspoon worth at most. Fanfic makes men cum gallons.
Very very few women experience vaginal orgasms in the absence of clitoral stimulation. While some do, and most do feel a degree of pleasure from penetration alone, it's uncommon, and most men's penises are not long enough to stimulate the g-spot (soft spot) well enough to give much pleasure. Certain positions can alter the natural curve of the vagina to make it easier to reach that spot.
Most men struggle to make a woman cum even with clitoral stimulation.
The refractory period (the period after a man orgasms, before he is able to become erect and ejaculate again) is usually at least an hour, and most often longer. Usually, the shorter times are seen in much younger men, under 21 years of age. So, male multiple orgasms and round after round after round, where they just keep ejaculating and keep going? Not very accurate.
Most men have zero interest in 'aftercare'.
There is no such thing as a 'belly bulge' or pressing on a woman's belly to make it feel like the penis is deeper. Sex takes place entirely within the bony pelvic frame. It does not extend up to the abdomen; the top of the non pregnant uterus sits way below the brim of the pelvis.
'Cumflation' (where in fanfic, the uterus is so filled with cum, that it swells) would be physically possible (if that much ejaculate was actually left behind, but there isn't, so...) but the woman would likely die of organ damage and shock.
I bore myself.
But it's fanfiction, right?! Have fun!
This is all I could think of off the top of my head. I'm sure I've missed plenty!
Love,
-- Haitch xxx
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✧∘* ✧・゚bigger guys✧∘* ✧・゚
you meet me at the gym. maybe i caught your eye from the squat rack or maybe you watched as a downed a bottle of water during a break. it doesn't matter--we get to talking. eventually, you realize, i come to that gym everyday, and soon we get to exchanging numbers. i come across as this demure, young cardiobunny with a bit of an obsession for you, and maybe you're just looking to score.
it doesn't matter. i tell you that i like bigger guys. you ask me about my opinion of you, and i suggest that you could eat a few more calories. after all, it's bulking season. you don't really think that your 10% body fat is gonna maintain all the way to summer, do you? i suggest a mass gainer shake brand, and although you forget most of our conversation, on your way home, you couldn't help but stop by a grocery store and pick some up.
that's when i start asking you about it. i recommend, after our respective work-outs when we're downing out protein shakes, you take your mass gainer at the same time. it's efficiency, after all. you say you want to ease into it, but after meeting my eyes as the bottle touches your lips, something changes in you.
i go to the gym everyday, and when i see you enter, i ask about the shakes. you did bring some with you, right? you won't get any gains if you don't eat right after! didn't you know that? and that brand isn't even that good anyway. who told you to get that? let's head to your place after--i'll show you how to make a real shake.
that's when it becomes a daily routine--well, it started to, before your lethargy got to you. post-workout, i'd head over and whip up something special for you--gobs of peanut butter, mass gainer, heavy cream, protein powder, the works--all in the comfort of your own blender. you start to question if all of this is really necessary, but i did tell you big guys were better, and are you gonna tell me i'm wrong? look at you. don't get self-deprecating now. i like how much you've gained!
the daily work-out dates turn to me seeing you after, crashed out on the couch. you head to the gym a few times a week, but not as commonly as before. you've just been so tired lately, i get it. rest days are even more important for recovery, though. it's doctors' orders-you need more sleep, and you need more shakes. when you're not ordering DoorDash, i'm the one cooking for you. a shake goes with every meal--it's mandatory. and you love it. they taste good! why think so hard about it when i'm smiling when you do it?
in fact, going to the gym at all is just cutting down the muscle you already have, don't you know that? you need some time to regain mass. you might as well quit your job--it's so demanding, isn't it? i could support both of us easily, and why would i want you to risk burning more calories out and about? it'd be much easier for you to sit on the couch and regroup, watch some TV, watch some porn, and eat.
you quit your job, because it's sucked the soul out of you, honestly. you've moved in with me, because there's no reason to live separately when we spend all our time together. you can't go five minutes without one of my shakes or my meals, after all. you're honestly a real glutton now, if i'm being honest. whenever i return from my daily gym visit, i make sure to bring you plenty of take-out, or three pizzas, or a few Subway footlongs, just to make sure you're well-fed. you've added probably 100lbs of mass at this point. it'd be a shame for all that hard work to go to waste.
you barely move from the couch, and i think it's starting to get to you. your gym buddies are all wondering what happened, and you can barely get the strength to sit-up by yourself, but that mental turmoil seems to dissipate when you're eating. it just tastes too good, doesn't it, baby? you're so full, but you love when i bring a fork to your lips, or a slice of pizza to your mouth. you love when i nod affirmatively, smiling as i watch you down another one of my shakes.
you especially love when i ride you. all those past memories, memories of athletic prowess, of high school cheerleaders, of locker room chats, all seem to fade away. the rush of a new PR, the delight in pumping iron, it's all gone. you spread your thick, plumped-out thighs outward and i straddle you as the TV plays. it's hard to get a good hold on your cock with that gut in the way, but you're so hard, so needy, so hot--i plunge myself on it right away. you feel my tight, toned body squeeze the life out of you, hearing the wet slaps of your balls on my defined, perky ass. you might not be able to move as well now, but i certainly can. i'm the tightest you've ever had, and my tits are pressed up against your face.
you're sweating, and you're not even moving. well, not intentionally, anyway. your tits are bouncing more than mine, let's be honest. everything about me is perky and defined, firm--even my ribs are apparent. but you? you're a pig. your moans almost sound like oinks, that's how much pressure you've put on your body. you stare up at me riding your cock, and because of your porn-rotten brain and how pathetic you are, you cum almost immediately, like always. doesn't matter. i give you a hearty dose of Viagra with your mass gainer shake after, and i use your cock for the next few hours. i get horny after the gym, what can i say?
you've blown at least four loads into my wet cunt at this point, and although my stamina hasn't faltered, you're completely spent. your cock is so overstimulated, you wince at the slightest touch. i know this, baby, and i care about you so much, so i make sure i've licked every inch of it clean. i stare up at you from this angle, but i can barely see your face behind your gut. you've really let yourself go, haven't you? you're shaking, overfed, overstimulated, bound to this couch under your own poor decisions. why even leave the house? they're all just gonna make fun of you. you think your gym buddies won't have a few choice words to say about you when you make your return?
you don't care about this, about any of this. your brain is so melted from the constant dopamine, the constant pleasure, that you've lost all self-awareness. your daily schedules consists of cable TV, countless hours of porn and touching your pathetic cock, and, of course, eating everything in sight. you're a complete degenerate, but you're my complete degenerate.
i did tell you i liked bigger guys.
#feedee encouragement#feedee feeder#feedee piggy#feederist#feeding kink#ffa#male feedism#male feedee#gaining weight on purpose#chubby guy#gaining kink
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I don’t know if you already wrote about this so forgive me if this is a repeat question but, what do you think about Leona’s depression? I feel it’s pretty obvious in game and yet it’s always glossed over as him being ‘lazy’ idk but I don’t find many talking about his really shitty mental health with any seriousness.
Surprisingly I haven't addressed this (at least not in detail)! So thank you for bringing this to my attention; I definitely feel like I've heard people (especially Leona fans) discuss this quite frequently. If you look in the right places, you’re sure to find insightful commentary on the subject! I know I certainly have, but I've yet to say my own piece on it yet.
Now, before I actually get to actually rambling, I want to preface this post with a few points so we can walk in knowing the perspective I'm coming from. Analysis isn't a "one size fits all"! My experiences and background will color the lenses through which I view Leona’s mental health.
First and foremost, I usually don't go out of my way to claim, "this character has X condition" beyond what is outright stated or implied in canon. That does NOT mean that I disapprove of fans who may have their headcanons that say otherwise or project onto or relate to characters' mental health. You can consume the media you like however you want! I am just saying that I don't have this preference so I feel somewhat uncomfortable speaking on this matter.
Secondly, I am trying to approach this situation from a very clinical viewpoint (as I do have knowledge in this area). This means that when I look for “implications” or read between the lines, I am doing so as objectively as I can. It’s how I choose to process and understand characters from a health angle. This does not mean that my opinion is certain; you could very well find someone else in this area that gives you the opposite opinion. As always, I warn you that my response is for fun, it is NOT meant to be taken as medical advice.
Lastly, PLEASE READ THE ENTIRE POST before you comment or share your own thoughts. I'm up for having a discussion, but I ask that you not do so without getting the full context of my thoughts. It’s a lot of information, and I did my best to break it down in a way that (I hope!!) is easy to understand.
CONTENT WARNING: due to the nature of the question at hand, I will be discussing or mentioning potentially triggering topics such as ***depression, suicidal ideation, dieting, homophobia, and substance abuse.*** Please look away if you are not in the right headspace to read about such topics.
Okay, let's rip the band-aid off now: I don't think Leona is clinically depressed.
Pause. Rewind. Take note of my careful wording there: clinically depressed. I don't think Leona is clinically depressed. What does that mean, and how does that relate to "being depressed"?
I think when people describe Leona as "depressed", they commonly mean that he "has depression", not that he is just feeling sad or has low self-esteem. By "having depression", I'm going to assume they are referring to "major depressive disorder", which is the technical term for the condition.
"It's just an abbreviation of the longer term. What's the issue with using 'depression'?” you're probably wondering. “You understand that we mean major depressive disorder.” Well, equating the two does NOT a diagnosis make.
Mental conditions such as major depressive disorder are documented in a handbook known as the DSM (or the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders). The latest version, the DSM-5-TR (5th edition with text revisions), was published in 2022. The DSM is a manual that sets forth criteria for each diagnosis in its pages. Of course, this includes major depressive disorder—and it may surprise you to learn that Leona does not meet its diagnostic criteria.
A diagnosis of "depression" (the term I will henceforth be using as shorthand for the disorder) is much more than having persistent feelings of sadness or hopelessness, being unmotivated/lazy, and wanting to sleep often. (I bring up these three things specifically because they are the ones I see being pointed at most frequently to “prove” the diagnosis.)
In order to be formally diagnosed, an individual must be experiencing at least 5 or more of the following symptoms during the same 2-week period:
Depressed mood most of the day, nearly every day.
Markedly diminished interest or pleasure in all, or almost all, activities most of the day, nearly every day.
Significant weight loss when not dieting or weight gain, or decrease or increase in appetite nearly every day.
A slowing down of thought and a reduction of physical movement (observable by others, not merely subjective feelings of restlessness or being slowed down).
Fatigue or loss of energy nearly every day.
Feelings of worthlessness or excessive or inappropriate guilt nearly every day.
Diminished ability to think or concentrate, or indecisiveness, nearly every day.
Recurrent thoughts of death, recurrent suicidal ideation without a specific plan, or a suicide attempt or a specific plan for committing suicide.
At least one of the symptoms should be either 1) depressed mood or 2) loss of interest or pleasure in activities they previously found enjoyable. Furthermore, the symptoms must cause what is known as "clinically significant distress", which is defined by impairment in important areas of functioning. This includes, but is not limited to, socialization, occupation, and/or education. The symptoms must also not be the result of substance abuse or another medical condition, and the individual must ever have experienced mania or hypomania.
Let’s briefly go through each criterion + additional documents and see what evidence there is or isn’t to support it:
We do not have his medical records to cross reference, so for the sake of convenience let’s assume no underlying or additional medical conditions.
We must consider additional context about family, lifestyle, etc. which can confound his symptoms. For example, as a prince, Leona has grown up having most things done for him by servants. This is what he is used to. So when we observe Leona not doing basic things for himself (getting food, doing laundry, making his bed), how much of this can we truly attribute to an underlying condition and how much of this can we attribute to Leona being accustomed to a certain kind of lifestyle?
Leona (at least from what we know of) does not experience mania, nor is he depicted as taking mind or behavior altering substances.
Of the first two criteria, Leona must fit into one: either 1) depressed mood most of the day, nearly every day, or 2) markedly diminished interest or pleasure in all, or almost all, activities most of the day, nearly every day. These depend on how you interpret his actions and behaviors. Personally, I don’t think Leona strongly fits into 2 because he still has an interest in his hobbies like Magift/Spelldrive and playing chess (though his involvement in it varies depending on the context). I will concede that there is stronger evidence for 1 over 2, as Leona has definitely expressed sadness and despair regarding himself and his future prospects. It is these thoughts that drive him away from home and keep contact with his family at a minimum. It is these thoughts that prevent him from seeing himself as worthy or even capable of change—a sentiment he shares in book 6, when he encourages Jamil but does not grant himself the same kindness or optimism. For this reason, we will go with the first criterion.
He has not experienced notable weight loss nor gain, nor a notable increase or decrease in appetite. Regarding his general diet, Leona has expressed a preference for meat and rejects vegetables. This by itself does not really provide any useful information in of itself; many people have this preference.
Leona does not experience a slowing down of thought. He is still very sharp and quick-witted in responding to his surroundings, especially in potentially dangerous ones, and coming up with an appropriate plan to counter. It can be argued that Leona has had a reduction in physical movement, as many characters often make remarks about how they perceive him as lazy or not doing much. However, this criterion actually refers to the speed at which one completes an activity and as far as I know, Leona is not said to be moving sluggishly, he only conducts himself in a manner that can be described as "lazily elegant". Even if we stretched the definition to encompass long-term goals he is putting off (like graduation), this criteria is still not counted for Leona since the wording used in the DSM-5-TR states “slowing down of thought AND reduction in physical movement” must be present. In other words, both must be true, not just one of them.
Leona does seem to experience some level of fatigue or loss of energy. This could be one way of interpreting his desire to sleep excessively instead of tending to more meaningful matters (like class). Fatigue, in this case, can also refer to emotional or mental fatigue. The sleep, then, can serve as a means of escape from reality for Leona, but it does not indicate actual physical tiredness. Rather, the tiredness can be intangible. This is also a potential explanation for his lack of motivation when it comes to some activities, especially those that demand him to take charge.
Leona does appear to experience feelings of worthlessness, though perhaps not excessive or inappropriate guilt. In fact, I would wager Leona does not demonstrate the latter, although this could be attributed to the fact that we are not in his head and he does not open up to others about his feelings. For example, we still don't know what his feelings are on almost killing Ruggie in a fit of rage. This does not discredit this criterion though, as the wording in the DSM is “feelings of worthlessness OR […] guilt” meaning one or the other suffices. It is no secret that Leona seeks recognition for his skills—something he was denied as a child and even put down for. While he is aware of his strengths, he has moments when he doubts himself (stating that he can’t change, or giving up when he realizes his plans won’t work so what’s the point in trying?), the contributions he can make (even when his older brother reassures him he can help their country), and encouragement from others (Jack telling him his play inspired him).
As I've said before, Leona does not have a diminished ability to think or concentrate. It has been shown to us time and time again that he doesn't do schoolwork not for lack of trying or lack of understanding, but because he thinks of himself as above it. Leona has already been tutored by the finest teachers royal money can buy, so he believes there is not much else for him to learn. He is also not shown to be indecisive--he can make decisions very quickly and can guide others or at least convince them to go along with him.
Leona does not have suicidal ideation or have recurring thoughts of committing suicide/death. While it's true that this is a game rated for ages 4+ (and therefore has restrictions on what content is and is not allowed in it), TWST has demonstrated to us that there are ways to imply suicidal ideation and other dark themes without explicitly saying it. (One notable example is Idia in late book 6, where he drops lines like "I'll go with you" and expresses dissatisfaction with "this world" to Ortho, who is known to be dead. To this, Ortho reassures him and encourages him to keep living. In fact, I could go on a whole tangent about how Idia better fits the criteria for major depressive disorder, but we're not going to get into that here.) The fact that TWST does not really imply this about Leona makes me think this is not true of him.
It can be said that the symptoms Leona does have are clinically significant, as his behavior is shown to have significant impact on his studies to the point where he was held back a grade. This was not because he did not know the material, but because he failed to find the motivation to attend class and to do his assignments. It also appears that Leona didn't really make an effort to work toward his future until book 7, when he actually talks his internship plans and about wanting to graduate.
We may guess that the symptoms persisted for two weeks or more (given Leona’s history and involvement in the main story), but the frequency of the symptoms is unclear since the game controls what we see of Leona and what we don’t.
Taking all of that into consideration, Leona does in fact exhibit depressive symptoms, but only 3 at most (I say “at most” because we have no idea about the true frequency at which some behaviors occur; we aren’t with Leona 24/7, nor has he reported it to us) out of the 8 total criteria. That’s 2 short of a diagnosis.
“But wait, there’s a lot of information missing here! We don’t have medical records, his weight and appetite changes, etc.” That’s true—but see, the main issue I take with diagnosing fictional characters in the first place is that we oftentimes do not know a character in detail enough to understand the full scope of their lives and symptoms. Noticing a few details is one thing and valid to an extent, but to evaluate an individual is not purely observational. This is particularly true for TWST characters, as even though there is plenty of content to refer back to for behavior, there is still a lack of really going into daily activities or deep feelings (beyond the one post-OB flashback for the OB boys). We cannot observe their behavior extensively. Because of this, tons of key criteria may not be visible to us from the audience’s perspective, let alone a medical history or other data to consider for assessment. We will almost always have an incomplete profile of a fictional character. Health is holistic and not entirely based on what we as individuals see or on all anecdotal evidence.
Just as health considers all parts of the individual, we, too, must consider individual cases of depression. It is possible for depression to exist without a diagnosis—many people (especially older adults), unfortunately, go undiagnosed for their condition. At the same time, it is possible for Leona to have depression which manifests in an atypical way. Each person with depression presents differently than the last, so I so not intend to make any blanket statements about the general population with this condition. The only statement I am making here is that based on my own interpretation of the current lore TWST has granted is, Leona Kingscholar does not satisfy the criteria for a formal clinical diagnosis, at least not for major depressive disorder as is defined by the DSM-5-TR.
Interestingly, Leona does fit the diagnostic criteria for a subclinical form of depression in a 1994 version of the DSM (IV). Minor depression or minor depressive disorder, colloquially known as “everyday depression”, is defined as having 2–4 depressive symptoms persisting for more than 2 weeks. One of these symptoms must be either depressed mood or loss of interest. It should be noted that this terminology is no longer recognized, as new information is added and dropped from the manual all the time. The information is flexible based on the consensus of a panel of hundreds of experts. Older versions of the DSM can be horribly outdated and it is not advised to reference them over newer ones. (As an example, "homosexuality" was legitimately listed as a mental illness in the very first version of the DSM. Yikes. Thankfully, this was dropped from the DSM-II. Other conditions like "multiple personality disorder" are granted new names like "dissociative identity disorder" or reworked altogether as our studies and understanding of mental health and science improve. It is important to keep up with the research coming out and update our approaches accordingly.)
We do not currently have a label for Leona’s situation aside from perhaps experiencing depressive episodes (periods of notable sadness lasting under 2 weeks) and exhibiting some depressive symptoms. I must stress that just because we lack a full-blown diagnosis, it doesn’t mean that it doesn’t impact his life. Leona is shown to very clearly be struggling with his mental health. He spends a lot of time in bed, typically cannot be motivated to attend class or do complete assignments, and has moments where he thinks very lowly of himself in spite of the confidence he exudes to others. What's more is that because Leona does not speak to others about what he's going through, it comes off as laziness or arrogance to his peers. Think of it this way: if you have a bad day and snap at a stranger or an acquaintance, the stranger/acquaintance is far less likely to grant you grace or forgiveness for your behavior compared to, say, a friend. They are not as familiar with you, so they will have less patience and are less likely to consider what you may be going through on a personal level. This also applies on a fandom level; if a fan is not actively reading between the lines, they, like Leona's peers, may miss the depressive symptoms he is displaying because they aren't looking for it. How many people can we say are close friends with Leona for him to open up to them about his circumstances? I would say Leona barely even lets his own dorm members be intimate enough with him to let them know about this part of himself. He has Savanaclaw backing him, but he probably does not talk to the mobs extensively. Ruggie is his errand boy, but I doubt Leona pours his heart out to him. And Jack is the newbie who did technically betray their dorm, so Leona might not trust him. Forget about people beyond his dorm. Even his family is not much better off; we've seen that Leona tends to brush off his brother's friendliness and attempts to make amends. There is no strong support system in place for him, which is tricky because Leona perpetuates it by keeping others at bay. In the light novel adaptation of book 2, Leona has an inner monologue about how he is afraid of letting others give him hope because it will encourage him to try again, only to fail another time. I imagine similar logic applies here; he is afraid of showing his vulnerable side because it might give him hope for change when he as late as book 6 expresses that he has given up on himself. I think that this is the detail about Leona most look to when they consider his mental health. The hallmark of depression is, after all, the feeling of perpetual sadness and despair itself. Most do not realize that other factors are considered.
From a clinical lens, it is not “obvious" that Leona is depressed. However, I understand why the prevailing sentiment tends to skew in the opposite direction. For the layman, it may be difficult to distinguish what is and is not clinically significant enough to warrant an actual diagnosis. Again, most will cite the same three pieces of information to support the depression reading: Leona's irritability, his unwillingness to participate, and the rejection he experienced as a child (which has now manifested as self-doubt and low self-esteem). Characters are often judged based on fans' own experiences, and this naturally comes with biases and subjectivity. Thus, some fans may project their own understanding or preconceived notions of what the "typical" depressed person acts like in their head onto Leona. This is normal human empathy at play. I believe that other fans see depression in Leona either because they experience it themselves or are familiar with someone in the same shoes. It can be difficult, and at times we can find solace and solidarity in fiction, especially if we find a character that “speaks to us” and seems relatable. That character may be Leona for some people. If you see do see him in this light or relate to his situation, I’m not invalidating your feelings. On the contrary, I'm happy that you were able to find comfort in him and that a piece of media you love can serve as a coping mechanism. You keep on doing you!
It is at this point that I will reiterate what I said at the start with a little extra nuance: I do not think Leona clinically depressed BUT I do believe he has depressive symptoms and poor mental health as the result of his cumulative circumstances. It is possible for him to have major depressive disorder, but we cannot determine this for certain with the information available to us right now. We are still missing several key components that would typically be considered in the evaluation process.
I think it's important to step back from focusing on labels and instead focus on the individual experience, and how you can still grow as a person and not let a perceived label define you. Leona is definitely working on himself! Changing, particularly changing a deeply ingrained mindset, takes much time and effort. We may not see the progress since Leona tends to hide it and/or we have limited intractions with him. We may not always see giant strides because the process is difficult. Even so, Leona is trying to jump over those mental and emotional hurdles. He's putting his all back into Magift/Spelldrive training. He's attending classes and doing the assignments. He's going home for the holidays. He has an internship planned. He wants to graduate. I've enjoyed following Leona's journey of growth and self-development and seeing all the intense discussion surrounding that. It all comes from a place of love and wanting to support the characters we care about, no matter how we may individually view him.
#twst#twisted wonderland#Leona Kingscholar#disney twisted wonderland#disney twst#twst character analysis#twisted wonderland character analysis#notes from the writing raven#question#tw//depression#tw//suicidal ideation#tw//suicide#twst analysis#twisted wonderland analysis#Cheka Kingscholar#Falena Kingscholar#Farena Kingscholar#tw//substance abuse#tw//dieting#Jamil Viper#Idia Shroud#Ruggie Bucchi#Jack Howl#Savanaclaw#tw//homophobia
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Howdy! I am considering submitting manuscripts I've written to a publisher or possibly self publishing. The publisher states on their website that authors must maintain an active social media presence. I'm not normally a social media type, Tumblr is my only one. What would you reccommend for such? Is it worth it to pay someone to make a website for me? Thanks and many virtual kisses for Dot and Deebs!
Honestly, I haven't submitted to a publisher since before a lot of modern social media existed. :D
It is my understanding, but this is secondhand information, that publishers want you to have either a twitter or a tiktok, preferably both, where you're frequently active and have a high follower count, because they want you to be able to publicize your book on it. One of many reasons I don't even consider trad publishing anymore is that I don't want to spend a significant chunk of my time filming videos for the sole purpose of hawking my books.
Now, as I said, that's an inference I've drawn; you may want to speak to someone who has been trad published recently to get the inside scoop (readers if you work in publishing or have been published recently, feel free to add commentary; remember to comment or reblogs, as I don't repost asks sent in response to other asks). I do have an author website but I built my own; I don't know what the going rate is for paying someone to build one these days but most website platforms are pretty intuitive to use -- I built mine on Wordpress and I'm building a new one on Wix currently, and at this point both are very drag-and-drop oriented. I do think a website is a good thing for an author to have, but I wouldn't pay someone to build one for you until you've taken a swing at DIY and decided it's not where you want to spend your time and energy.
In terms of self-publishing, the good news is that none of the rules apply; this is also the bad news. :D Because the thing about selfpub is that you either pay or DIY for...everything. It can be very inexpensive; when I publish a book the only direct monetary cost is what I pay for an ISBN and a proof copy of the book, which I will make back in the first 10 sales or so. However, I am "paying" in man hours in terms of typesetting, cover design, uploading the PDFs to lulu.com, proofing the initial copy, correcting the proof and reuploading (which usually involves further typesetting), and of course all the publicity -- website design and redesign, copywriting, tumblr posting. And while my profit per copy sold is well above what most authors with traditional publishers will make, that's because the publisher is doing a lot of the work for you. And, because I don't have an active twitter or tiktok or a publisher, my books are not very widely publicized. Undoubtedly I sell fewer copies than I would if I had a robust twitter following, but catch me touching that rancid wasteland without inch-thick gloves on.
So -- I think it's probably pretty important to understand that I have deliberately rejected trad publishing for good but not lucrative reasons, and I'm considered at best an iconoclast and more commonly a crank for having done so. If you can go the tradpub route, I would, but I also wouldn't put any money you're not prepared to write off as a loss into that pursuit. Definitely I would see if there's anyone in the industry you can reach out to who can answer these questions with a more thorough understanding of what publishers look for in an author and how to go about achieving that than I possess.
In any case, good luck! It's a journey regardless and I hope you enjoy your time on the path wherever you end up. And I'll give the cryptids a special cuddle for ya.
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sorry if this has been asked before, but i wanted to ask about your lineart! the weight and line economy are just so nice, i get stars in my eyes looking at your lineart and doodles. could i ask what your approach to lineart is and what tips you might offer?
Wow I love these questions - Line is so interesting!!! It's a really big topic so I feel like any tips I give will be just barely scratching the surface. It's like deceptively simple...any given line drawing is essentially taking all the information we glean from seeing something irl ie light, shadow, dimension, texture, perspective, etc and boiling it down to the simplest possible visual information.
I think most commonly my line is informed by light source so like. thicker more continuous lines face away from the light and thinner more broken lines towards. and a lot of my spot blacks r simply cast shadows.
here's a more extreme example
BUT like everything to do with art there's no hard and fast rules. I use blacks when I think it'll be effective or interesting and I leave them out when I don't need em. umm couple things I find myself doing a lot... using spot blacks to make the separation between characters clearer. I like casting shadow in between characters so its easy to separate and read their silhouettes even when they're mashed together.
u can go even further to purposely create a silhouette like
to draw attention to a finger or tongue LOL. There's some comic book artists who are absolute masters at this type of stylization. Alex toth and his spiritual successor Chris samnee come to mind for me right away.
(toth)
(samnee)
I feel like I'm also often using line weight to separate planes receding in space
im naturally a really heavy handed and scribbly drawer(...?) draftsman. and im nearsighted so when i see things i percieve and break it down into big shapes over thin contours. so stuff like spot blacks and shadows came easy to me, the tricky part was making the rest of the lines lighter when they needed to be so the blacks could actually have impact LOLL. a lot of effective visual communication is about balancing contrasts. like I had to really train myself to press less hard on the pen. I think this is actually really evident if u go back in my archive to older sketches LOL
I actually feel like a lot of how I trained my hand to tackle line weights was thru stuff like hand lettering where you rly have to focus on being sensitive to that kind of thing.. contrasting strokes etc.
also exercises like figure drawing will have you flexing those muscles constantly
I'm starting to just regurgitate lessons from freshman year of art school so I'll stop here with the demos but yeah...I hope this was helpful!? I love line!!! I want to get even better at line work so I can feel confident posting work that's only line no color or value... I'll leave you with a bunch of artists who I think have particularly expressive and beautiful linework (not including toth and samnee who I already mentioned and who's work I love so much). You can probably learn much more from them than you can from me...!
Charles dana gibson LOL
Matias bergara
tonci zonjic
naoki urasawa
Daniel warren johnson
shiyoon kim
michel breton
also yoji shinkawa, tomer hanuka, leo romero, I feel like I'm gonna post this and think of so many more. there's so many good artists...!
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MAKE A FULL GUIDE BRO PLS PLS PLS PLS PLS I WOULD EAT THAT SHIT UP!! /nf
oh man, this gonna be a long one but ty for letting me infodump about my interests </3 my overall advice would be to be creative, and DON'T underestimate how intertwined social media is with everyday life. Experiment, see what works, and good luck <33
so a lot depends if you know the person in question irl or online and i'll go over both but first, here are some things that help in both cases: -names are not necessary to find people, useful af but info like what school they go to, class they're in, clubs they're in etc do better -look at their friends, their friends' friends, family, tagged photos, followers and following list (if they're active online), info doesn't just come from them, if you can't get in contact with them you can learn a lot from family, friends classmates etc
-intelius.com
-please PLEASE keep track of what info you found out and what they told you, don't accidentally drop that bombshell
-i have a folder where i keep my fp's information saved, all the "useful" images they sent me, link to their social medias, school website and more so i'd suggest making one of those
if you only know them online, here are some cyberstalking tips that don't rely on being close and location (all this assuming they're active online):
-look up their username(s) and variations everywhere. literally every platform you can think of, i had to sign up to 3 platforms i never used just for that
-look up their friends' usernames
-look at tagged photos, mentions and interactions they have with others in the comments under their posts to find out who they're friends with
-if you can see previous usernames (like on instagram) look up those too
-you might get lucky with wayback machine
-if you can find their reddit, twitter or any social media that shows their post and comment history study that shit
- if they haven't shown their face but have photos including any other part of their body that isn't usually covered up, even in colder climates (like hands most commonly) save those too, if you manage to find a school website or something later on that might have photos of their face you could match them up. it's difficult af but never give up, if there's a will there's a way
-reverse image search all the images they posted
-try images on geoimgr.com. photos taken on phone or camera will sometimes have GPS coordinates stored in the metadata of each file, but there are some websites that encrypt this
-anaylze the background of images, especially if they're taken outside
-trying to pinpoint a location (town or country they live in) would be good but not necessary: • if they posted screenshots that aren't cropped and include the time, it will be easy to figure out the general area because of timezones • use google maps to match up the background seen in images
if you wanna figure out an email or number: • log out of your account, put their username in in the login section, press "i forgot my password", the next part may vary from platform to platform but select the option for their the recover of their password to be recieved through email and it will display the first and last characters of their name, as well as what domain they're using. same with the phone number
next, in real life, i'm not really an expert in this since i've never stalked anyone irl for as long and as much as i have online but hope these help too!:
-eavesdrop
-if you're not close or to them (as in not in the same class, school, workplace etc) look for someone that knows them in any way.
-assuming you found that person, don't directly ask about them. let's say, your fp likesa art, so you ask that person about art clubs. chances are, they'll mention the one your fp is in. very vague example but it works with almost everything
-ask your parents about your fp's parents, works well if you're younger and still in school
-VERY carefully try to glance over at their phone's screen as much as you can, it could make finding social media accounts 10 times easier
-use all the info you manage to get for cyberstalking. don't follow them around, especially don't follow them home, you don't need to do that to figure out more about them. again, don't underastimate how ingrained social media is in our lives. Cyberstalking is much more easier and safer.
#actually obsessive#yanblr#yan blog#jiraiblr#jirai girl#jirai kei#jiraiblogging#landmine blogging#landmine kei#landmineblr#landmine girl#obslove#obsessive stalker#stalking tips#stalker yandere#favourite person#bpd fp#obsessive behavior#obsessive yandere#irl yandere#yandere blog#actually yandere#landmine type#landmineblogging#jirai onna#jirai#landmine
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so this is an honest question because you seem to understand the ToSD really well, and this is something that has always confused us; is there a specific reason for the idea that identity integration can only be interupted by trauma and not a neurological or biological issue?
We ask because we have autism which has affected almost everything about our existence and functioning from how we process information and sensory input, to how we learn, and even how we experience emotions and more complex things like our self perception and gender.
It is confusing to us that all these other things, including identity and perception, can be changed by something biological/neurological, and thats generally accepted to be true but the idea that and extremely long and complex process that also depends on feedback from other people can't be?
We get specific trauma responses and symptoms but the whole "the only way for states not to integrate/integrate fully is trauma in one specific window" seems to make integration one of if not the only processes in the brain that can't be disrupted by neurology and that is confusing to us
This is a good and valid question.
And here's the truth.
We don't know that it's the only way.
However, that conversation is 100% completely separate from structural dissociation.
It's so important to remember that structural dissociation is specifically and solely focused on dissociation in response to trauma.
Nothing else. It can't be compared to anything else.
I'm genuinely not sure how to structure this post, so I'm going to talk about a couple different theories/ideas, in no particular order. Give it a chance and read to the end, where we talk about the flip side.
I think we need to first talk about trauma in relation to developmental and neurological disorders.
As a reminder, trauma is not an event, but a reaction to things around you.
For children with things like autism, ADHD, anxiety, OCD, they're not only at a higher risk of being abused and traumatized, but they're more easily traumatized by a wider range of things. They're the populations most prone to pathological dissociation.
Did you daydream a lot as a kid? Does MaDD kind of hit hard? Did teachers and parents get really mad at you for your dissociation?
I hate to tell you this, but there's a high chance you're traumatized.
And the thing with CPTSD, what is essentially a precursor to DID and (largely considered) to be a dissociative disorder, is that it can be so hard to pinpoint where and how it started. It's a lifetime of papercuts vs a car accident. Do you remember every little cut? The cause can seem invisible.
The leading cause of CPTSD is emotional neglect, something even the most well-intentioned parents can do without ever meaning to. It's called the invisible abuse for a reason.
And emotional neglect happens so much easier when your child has additional needs that are commonly missed and not diagnosed until adulthood, long after the crucial period where they needed the most help.
All that said, we need to talk again about how many of those disorders include dissociation already.
Not only is dissociation common, but things like autism are highly recognized to affect a person's sense of self, specifically in childhood, but now you're getting into "chicken and egg" conversations.
In my own opinion, I would think that if autism alone could result in dissociated identities, we would know that by now. I mean, look at BPD, we know what happens with trauma in childhood that doesn't result in DID. There's an incredible amount of discussion about whether certain cases of BPD are actually sister-versions of OSDD (think OSDD-1c, the less defined alters seen in 1a, plus the lack of amnesia seen in 1b).
All THAT said, we're talking about dissociation and trauma.
This doesn't touch on the way people define and interpret their personal experiences. It seems completely plausible that people could simply just be more in tune with aspects of themselves, and view life through a comfortable, happy lens of multiplicity.
The multiple self theory has been around as long as the ToSD.
And that discussion doesn't necessarily need to be separate from dissociation and trauma, but I think for some it just is.
In every sense of the word, it just... is.
It simply is that way for them.
I firmly believe these two concepts would be 100% separate and different (acknowledging that for some, these can and do overlap, but I'm talking about brain scan level differences)
Unfortunately, words are limited, and there's only one perfect word for both experiences.
"System".
I hope this was some food for thought. I encourage people to get involved in the conversation!
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DP x DCMK (x DC)
Where Danny and Shinichi meet at the Hawaii where's a Ghost Convention (pre-portal and Conan, when they're both around 11–12 years old) since both sets of parents are invested in the topic. (The Fentons because they're the Fentons and Yusaku because he's researching for one of his books).
They become friends and keep contacts through messages, sharing school shenanigans, crushes, cases and family mishaps.
The One Thing that Danny doesn't share, though, is his halfa status.
First, because Shinichi doesn't believe in the supernatural (according to him, magic is just unexplained science) and second, because his change is far from any kind of "normalcy" and Shinichi had categorically stated that he doesn't want anything to do with superheroes, he's just a "normal" detective and they (the Justice League) save the world.
Though, it's not unusual that, if something weird happens in a case, Shinichi asks Danny's opinion and intel since the Fenton's library has "weird"/obscure material. (If the answer gets him too close to superhero-stuff, Shinichi passes the ball to the JL, more specifically to Red Robin, but that's something for a following reblog of this thread.)
So when Shinichi becomes Conan and settles in Ran's home, he contacts our favorite boi.
(A bit late to the @crossoverdanuary party... (^~^;)ゞ Anyway, long post in chat-style, plus an extra, so I decided to use the read more function because it was getting out of hand... (≧▽≦) )
Shinichi: Hey Danny, do you know anything that should be killing you, but instead it shrinks you? Danny: Shrink as in size or age? S: Age D: Hold on, gotta check some books to be sure, but usually anything age-related is dark shit. What's for? Fun or case? S: ...It's for a case D: Well, that didn't sound ominous at all, then gotta go *faster* *few minutes later* D: Okay, the closest thing (still in the Mortal Realm) to what you asked is this jewel most commonly known as "Pandora" (if she knew, she would definitely lose her shit) D: it's a gem hidden inside another gem that glows red under the moonlight D: "if bathed in the light of the Volley Comet, it would shed tears capable of granting eternal life" S: This doesn't sound anything like what I asked you (눈‸눈) D: Cut the sass beanpole and let me continue D: since the legend exist and it's documented, it should be reasonable to presume that someone managed to attain it, right? S: ...right *squinty eyes* D: So if some scientist tried to reproduce the same results in the *scientific way* instead of the magical one, they could have either the original "Tears" or the one who consumed them and run test and experiment on them D: whatever the case, there would be either some inferior or failed products that instead of making you immortal, *de-ages* you, which is the next best thing (i.e. you would live longer) D: but since they were "failures" compared to the immortality elixir, they could definitely become poisons. D: So! Since you were so ominous, was it really for a case or did our dear Professor Agasa dabble in alchemy? 👀 (read) D: Beanpole, I know you read my explanation and since this is really dark shit you *have* to at least give me context D: because among the warnings that the grimoire gave me, there's the thing that you become somewhat cursed S: ...Or you're cursed or you're not, there's no "somewhat" D: He speaks! 🙌 D: Give me *the deets* *long pause* D: *Shinichi Kudo* ಠ_ಠ S: Okay, fine! I can feel your disappointed stare all the way to Japan, stop! >Д< D: Then explain S: Okay S: so you know how I can't leave things alone when they have suspicious all printed on them? D: Your worst defect, yes, but continue D: ...wait D: Shinichi no D: HOW OLD ARE YOU NOW?? S: Still 17, thank you very much D: I mean physically, you little shit, don't dodge the question! S: ... S: ...we think 7 D: What in the Infinite Realms everloving fuck, Shinichi D: Okay, you know what? D: I'm coming to Japan and you can't stop me, you *midget*, I know what you're already going to say D: it's dangerous, yada yada D: nothing I've already seen and fought S: What do you mean?! D: Since you're *such a good detective*, deduce it yourself D: give me your coordinates in the meantime and don't you dare move from that spot S: If you send me Superman or anyone of his creek, I swear to Kami, Danny D: Please, Superman could only desire to be anything like me, now *coordinates* ಠ_ಠ *coordinates sent* D: good boy D: now get ready in 3 S: 3 what? D: 2 D: 1
🕵️👻
A full body shiver run over Shinichi as soon as the "1" appeared on the screen, so he looked up from his phone, searching for where the cold draft could have come from. However, the agency toilet window was closed and the closed door had a good insulation, last time he had checked.
So what...!
"Boo."
Shinichi shrieked with all the high pitch of an elementary schooler, as he whirled around to look at what, or better, who had whispered by his ear.
A white-haired green-eyed floating teenager with a black hazmat suit with white accents grinned almost maniacally at him, showing their fangs predatorily.
Anatomically they looked male and despite the unhinged expression, the body language didn't project "danger". If anything, it was loose and casual as if he (until otherwise stated) belonged here.
The unearthly glow suggested either some substance coating him that gave him that illusion, or there was magic afoot.
Irritation surged inside Shinichi: Danny knew his rules! No direct superhero meeting, only exchange of intel!
"Who are you and why did Fenton send you?" Shinichi gritted, crossing his arms to appear less like a 7 years old.
"You disappoint me, little detective, I thought you would have figured it out at first glance!" The supposed hero pouted, crossing legs and arms midair and staring back at Shinichi. "I guess that your fame had been an exaggeration, after all. Some East Highschool Detective you are!"
The teasing little smirk incensed Shinichi more than alarming him (the other knew his secret!), but the last thought made him pause.
Danny wouldn't betray him like this by informing whatever "superhero" of this situation just to help him without his consent. Their boundaries had been awesome like that and had been respected so far, despite the many trials both had faced.
So who was this person really?
Shinichi's mind focused back into deducing the teen before him, and the more looked, the more disbelief made way in his heart. (...He had said he would be coming to Japan, but not in that instant!)
"No way, Danny?"
"Fucking finally, midget! What took you so long?" Danny huffed, untangling then touching down on his feet and looking him over. "It even gave me time to take a look at your situation!"
"Hey! Your voice is different, so I could deduce it only because "if you exclude the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the Truth"! Since you would never spill my secrets to anyone, this must have been you!" Shinichi gestured to his friend, who flushed green when he registered the meaning of the words.
"Wow," he breathed, sounding pleased, as he scratched his nape, "you would believe that a ghost of me is still me instead of me betraying you, wow!"
"Wait, ghost? I thought you just become a superhero, not that you died!" Despite his insistence on not believing the supernatural, Shinichi had read the Fentons' papers on ghosts (the most recent ones, AKA the "no more biased version" as Danny had called them). And, while he hadn't told his friend this, the scientific breakdown of what makes a ghost what they are, had made Shinichi believe in the existence of ectoplasmic beings.
But to discover that one of his best friends had died, he hadn't known or could have done anything, plus Danny hadn't felt safe enough to tell him until it had become unavoidable, made Shinichi clutch his heart in agony and despair.
Probably sensing the shift and interpreting the action for what that was, Danny's face shifted into regret, as he knelt down before the shrunk detective and a ring of light lit up at his waist, washing over him and leaving a hoodie-and-jeans-clad raven-haired and blue-eyed teenager.
Slowly, as if not to spook a frozen Shinichi, Danny laid a hand on his shoulder, while the other took the free little hand to his NASA hoodies chest and splayed it there, allowing him to feel his heartbeat. As if he had known that only words wouldn't have been enough to convince the detective.
Slowly but surely, feeling Danny's sluggish but steady heartbeat, made Shinichi unclench, then lean against his friend's chest, head tucked under his chin.
Carefully, Danny wrapped his friend in a hug, knowing well that, while physical affection was welcome from him, Japanese social conventions and the Kudo's upbringing had left Shinichi a little adverse to prolonged contact.
As the apparent 7-years-old melted into the embrace and clutched Danny as well, followed by a suspicious wet sensation on his chest, the halfa realized that this was bad.
Shinichi had never sought comfort like that, according to professor Agasa (who Danny did keep in contact with, since he was more a parent than the Kudos), so to do this now...
"It's okay, Shinichi, I'll explain better what happened to me, but it's not your fault." Shinichi shuddered at these words and buried deeper in the embrace, making guilt shoot through Danny. He had caused this breakdown. The least he could do was to help him through it and some.
"And we're gonna find a way to solve what happened to you, I promise."
#the dragon writes#xover danuary 2024#danuary 2024#could be seen as#free day#or#rough#danny phantom#dcmk#dcu#dpxdcmk#dp x dcmk x dc#dpxdc#dcxdp#angst#hurt/comfort#Fenton's A+ parenting#Kudo's A+ parenting#danny fenton#kudo shinichi#tim drake#Danny and Shinichi are friends#Shinichi and Red Robin are online acquaintances (friends)#but here in this ficlet isn't specified#it's for a later reblog#otherwise this would have become too long#you can blame this crossover on dcmk Movie 26#I saw it yesterday and made me *write*#chat fic#ficlet
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Do you think Azul is capable of falling in love? I mean, the way he sees love as transactions and weakness to be exploited makes me question this thought.
Oh my god anon I'm so happy you asked about the transaction thing because I have SO many thoughts...
Can Azul Love?
This is just a quick analysis my brain spurred off into.
First there's this scenario I made specifically about this concept - Azul Falls In Love And Can't Handle It (Just wanted to link it instead of repeating everything in this post)
But even in other fics, I love exploring that concept! Because - to me, at least - love isn't always a choice. It becomes a choice later on. That sounds confusing but allow me to clarify.
There are two types of feelings commonly known as "love" that I'm referring to - Infatuation, and love. These two have nothing to do with age, or even a person's maturity level. Infatuation is the first part of a relationship or a pre-relationship stage, where every interaction gives you butterflies, you feel like you're on fire every second you spend, and all that good stuff.
Love is a choice you make. You're not getting butterflies anymore. You are choosing to build a life with someone, to be there for them even without the boost of infatuation.
Infatuation can come and go - it's pretty short-lived, in all honesty. Love, on the other hand, is stable and much longer-lasting when requited. You care deeply about a person, in spite of all their flaws or weaknesses.
Very few people can't feel infatuated - even Aromantic people can end up experiencing the same thing, just from a platonic angle, where you really admire someone to the point of glossing over their flaws.
Azul is no exception. He can get infatuated with someone too. He's not immune, and god, he hates it. Seeing you gives him butterflies, he wants to do everything in his power to make you happy, but why? This isn't supposed to be how he acts!
Love is a separate matter. Love requires a level of emotional maturity that - let's face it - not many Night Raven students have. Azul would have to care for you in spite of your flaws and choose to invest his time into a relationship with you despite potential losses like time for his business. He'll have to choose you despite the lack of chemicals in his brain encouraging him to do so. And, in his current state, I'm not quite sure if Azul is capable of that.
But the thing is, Azul isn't stagnant. It may not seem like it, but he is gradually growing. And he's definitely capable of love - even if it isn't romantic - just look at the way he talks about his family! I meant it when I said I wasn't sure. Though there's a chance he might not be able to make that choice, there's a chance he can, too.
And hopefully, when the time comes, and Azul and whoever his partner is are a good way in their relationship, and the chemicals finally wear off, he can make that choice.
#azul ashengrotto#twisted wonderland#not a fic#twst analysis#twst azul#twst#disney twisted wonderland#azul#btw just wanted to mention#this applied to platonic love too ^^#friendships take work#and they can also often have the kinda honeymoon phase#before it starts to fall apart bc you don't really know what to do once the dopamine rush wears off#you know their flaws too well#anyways this was all just my take#feel free to discourse as always
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Oh yeah! Since I have no clue if/when I'm ever finishing these and I've had them laying around for forever by now- here's the adult IT metaverse outfits I've made! They're all based on their ultimate personas and the concept of heros! Since these were made for an aged up p4 cast, these aren't quite what I'd put their during p4 time selves in- some changing more then others- but if you wanna follow me into design details, that'll all be under the cut!
First off to get em out of the way- Teddie is very largely the same as his p4 time metaverse outfit I made for him back here . The design is still meant to be inspired by magical girls, but the biggest change is that while the old one was meant to look like a magical girl protagonists outfit, this one I tried to lean a bit more into the older/more experienced cast member of the magical girl group type design. Overall a pretty minor change (and I will admit, largely because I'm still incredibly happy with that old design) but it felt fitting!
Chie and Yukiko were, as always when I work on them, designed to match. Their masks specifically mirror eachother with the opposites sides sticking out, and they both have a golden dragon pattern on their clothes as a reference to the twin dragons move! Chie was... honestly one where I had to sacrifice my goals a bit. Like mentioned before, these were meant specifically for an aged up cast. And while p4 era Chie I would absolutely imagine in a kung fu Chung-Li type outfit, we know what a more mature version of her action hero dreams look like; the police! And I.... really did not want to put her in a cop outfit, Ill be real. Instead I just tried focusing on making the outfit look more mature. Also tried to combine a practical and strong look with a more feminine aesthetic, since she struggles pretty badly with her femininity in p4 and I like to think she'd grow more comfortable with her own brand of it over time!
Yukiko is perhaps one of the most drastic one for changes compared to her younger self- if you asked me to design a p4 era outfit for her, it would look nothing like this, hah. Anyways, she's definitely inspired by onna-musha! Compared to Tomoe who was a full on commander of an army going out there, for Yukiko the idea was more the women taking up arms to protect their home when the battle comes their way. Fully having embraced the role she has as the next owner of the Amagi Inn and the responsibility and want to protect it, it's meant to be somewhat of an outing of that!
Fun fact: She has two color schemes! Because uhh I did not know what to go for at all. Her ultimate persona is like a single solid color and I kind of panicked and just ended up winging the colorscheme. One is more red since, y'know, thats her color! The other is more white gold to match her actual persona better. Included at the end of this post for the curious
Rise was based on a greek goddess- though not any particular one, moreso how they're commonly depicteed in art and old statues. Pretty, holy, someone you'd go to for advice and help (someone just out of reach from the general public) It just felt like a good combination of something she'd like to be seen as and percieved as as well. She gets two outfits- for scan and fight mode! Kouzeon has no canon fight mode, thats just for Himiko, but man it exists in my heart. The transistion between the two is literally just her throwing off the long overskirt, hah.
How does her mask work? Excellent question. The p5 idea of having it there when vibing but gone when the persona is out feels a little awkward when her persona's whole thing is putting a visor over her face. Quite frankly I have no idea. Sorry folks. Have all concept sketches for the outfits I've done as compensation with a bonus Noot in there that I never continued on and finished.
#persona 4#persona 4 golden#p4g#rise kujikawa#chie satonaka#yukiko amagi#teddie hanamura#naoto cameos in the concept sketches but dont percieve them too hard#they were in the very early stages of being made before i got distracted by new projects#i feel like i explained the concepts kind of badly above here i have a really hard time putting into words what i think about#when i make outfits designs#sorry if it sounds awkward or slapped together. i promise each of these took an embarrassing amount of time to think out#also on a note not disclosed in the text above here. teds adult outfit is also meant to be a combination of the girl and boy seperate#outfits he has for p4 era. this is headcanon galore land however so dont worry about it. shh. it is a treat for me
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Moon Boys with a Goth reader
Warnings: mentions of things like specimens, teeth, embalming, and other macabre things. Reader being heckled at a bit. Reader is said to where makeup but like with goths that means nothing because they/we tend to were makeup regardless of identity sometimes.
Author’s Snip: I as goth person or someone who's into some of the same things that are commonly in gothic culture I wanted to make this. It also works with my accidental postings last night. Feel free to request stuff involving a gothic or macabre reader if y'all want.
I’ll shut up now. Enjoy! And don’t be afraid to request.
Steven Grant
I'm going to be honest, he was kind of scared of you
Not like, full on terrified, he just didn't know how to approach you
He admires the look you have whatever that may be with both makeup and clothing but he's scared that you'll shoo him away
I mean yeah he's a nervous curly haired nerd but he doesn't know how far that gets him
I like to think that he started small talk with you and then gave you a fact about ancient Egyptian embalming or something and that opened up a conversation about funeral rituals and embalming across the different cultures and the whole time he's thinking "I can't believe that worked!"
If you have a collection of anything like wet specimens jars or if you're part of vulture culture (aka you go out and collect animal bones) he wants to see
He asks a lot of questions, of course, about... well... everything. Both about your collections, interests, and how exactly you got into the gothic lifestyle
If you have gothic books you know he's losing his mind and asks about what your favorites are and what you think about various ones. Oh my god if you are down for a long talk about the meanings behind some gothic books and stories he just... good lord he's gonna melt
Steven gets a bit surprised when he sees you without makeup for the first time (if you wear heavy makeup, I know of some people who don't do all that). Of course he KNEW that you didn't look authentically but it just gets him a bit when he sees your natural and bare face for the first time
He'd actually love to watch your makeup routine to see the whole process
Of course you'd be used to getting stared at if you have a certain fashion and makeup but if someone tries to say something in public he gives them a disapproving look. However if someone's actually harassing you then yeah that's when he gets more defensive
Don't take him to goth clubs though. Not cause he'll get scared but more so he knows that he doesn't exactly belong and feels like he's in someone else's space in which he's not meant to be in
Marc Spector
I'm not sure how he'd feel upon first meeting (feel free to discuss) but he definitely has that "Woah!" reaction when he sees you like some people have
He's heard about goth people and all that but his knowledge comes from things like common knowledge and some stereotypes like the wearing of black, heavy makeup, nihilistic views, all that
Marc definitely thinks it's neat though, and maybe you start talking just because he's curious and he starts asking you some questions and then the relationship just forms from you guys getting to know each other
Marc doesn't really know how people get into "the whole goth thing" and asks if something "happened" and your answer is whatever it might be for you. However, you do quip back at him a bit for asking that saying that things have certainly happened to him and yet he's not goth or part of the community so...
He secretly thinks the whole goth thing is hot (they all do). There's something about it but he doesn't fully say it
Thinks your collections are cool as hell. Though if it's things like bones he gets a bit, just a bit, creeped out and asks how exactly you got them and what bones they belong to
I'm sorry but when you invited him over he's 100% pulling out the "I was expecting a coffin" joke when he sees your bedroom
Marc would be down to watch goth/horror films with you. Burton, black and white monster films, horror/thriller, more modern stuff, maybe even some foreign films too. He's for sure more into adventure films but he won't say no to Night of the Living Dead, maybe even some Elvira too
He's hesitant to kiss you if you wear makeup, heavy or not. As nice as it sounds, he doesn't wants to walk around with spots of white foundation or black lipstick on him
You two look so weird when you go on dates. He's just dressed like a normal everyday guy, completely unsuspecting clothes. And then theres you in all black/dark colors and accessories galore
If someone tries harassing you he'll tell them to fuck off himself. Though I'm sure he's had some people heckle him too. A few people have told him that he should keep you out of the sun. You know
You could not get him in a goth club. Genuinely feels weird in there. He likes blending in, and for once, he does not
Jake Lockley
Okay hear me out. He actually likes goth people and thinks their hot as fuck
He roams around at night, he's seen some about and maybe cabbed a few, had some talks
When he meets you, he's not at all scared. He just walks up and starts talking
Like literally has a conversation and casually asks you out and even jokes that he's okay with it being at a graveyard or cemetery
He's into it as much as Steven is, he actually admires the goth lifestyle a bit himself and thinks you being a part of it is rad, in whatever way that is
Jake also likes watching you put on makeup whether it be just eyeliner or the full face
Actually would like it if you did some makeup on him, both to maybe have you guys be like that one photo of the girl doing the other girl's makeup, you know the one, and also because why not. He's always been a bit curious about how it would look
He doesn't mind if some makeup gets on him when you kiss, wears it with pride
He listens to the music with you, he strikes me as the type of guy that enjoys all types of music and so he's down to listen to your favorite artists and bands
If you have a weird collection like most do he also loves that
He'd be into the bone and specimen collecting stuff
Genuinely asks if you want him collect teeth for you. He's the hard hitter of the system so if he knocks out someone's tooth he would take it and wash it for you if you wanted
He'd also help you with your collection by buying you stuff that fits into it
Will fight someone if they bug you about your outfit or looks while in public. Maybe even give a dirty "The fuck you looking at" stare if an older person is judging you
Y'all know that meme of Tiffany Valentine doing the voodoo ritual with the caption "My goth gf and me letting her do whatever she wants"? That's you guys /hj
I'm kinda joking
But like if you want to get freaky, he's down
Oddly mingles well in a goth club. I feel like he enjoys parties and clubbing of any kind and he's down with the gothic shit and knows some songs so like he's lowkey vibing and having a good time
#moon knight x reader#moonknight x reader#moon knight#moonknight#marc spector#steven grant#jake lockley#steven grant x reader#marc spector x reader#jake lockley x reader#goth reader
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hey guys, this is a post about side order and what we can somewhat gather about it so far. this'll be a long one, so hang tight. i've seen others vaguely talk about these ideas, so i decided to go all-out.
this image is of what i'm going to refer to as the 'landscape of thorns,' which is a 'long-term nuclear waste warning message.' these being used to sway humanity from intruding on highly dangerous sites.
as certain kinds of radiation can stay toxic for thousands of years, a warning of the dangers of this plant were needed. non-linguistic messages were attempted at first by a report from the sandia national laboratories, one of the three development and research laboratories of the department of energy's national nuclear security administration. {DOE, NNSA} the aim of this series of messages were to warn later visitors to any waste site. they recommended that messages include each of the following, gradually increasing complexity.
{much more under the cut.}
"1} Rudimentary information: "Something man-made is here"
2} Cautionary information: "Something man-made is here and it is dangerous"
3} Basic information: Tells what, why, when, where, who, and how
4} Complex information: Highly detailed written records, tables, figures, graphs, maps and diagrams"
the issue with worded messages is that they're unlikely to be comprehensible in thousands of years. considering how much the english language has changed, and will continue to evolve, would those of the future be able to understand what is being said? because of this, symbols were also considered.. but another problem arises with that. no symbol will be universally understood to mean one thing, even something such as the jolly roger. {☠️} using it to warn for risk of sickness, or general harm would serve useless as time passes. especially nowadays, while the jolly rodger still is seen as a danger symbol somewhat, is used more commonly as a cool design thing.. at least in the USA. and again, that's the problem. no symbol is universally known for one thing, no matter what.
i believe it was also a thought to not warn at all, and just leave it there.. but that questions ethics.
eventually, physical markers were explored, giving ideas such as the forbidding blocks, rubble landscape, the landscape of thorns, and a few beyond those. these ideas carry similar characteristics to each other.
from the official trailer.
in 1992-1993, a poll was issued by the zeitschrift für semiotik of tübingen germany, asking the following question:
"how would it be possible to inform our descendants for the next 10,000 years about the storage locations and dangers of radioactive waste?" and received answers such as artificial satellites, atomic priests, and 'ray cats.' i'm going to further talk about ray cats, as i think, considering the themes, it would be a good opportunity for side order to delve deeper into li'l judd, and his current whereabouts or motivations. as it's very vaguely hinted that he owns grizzco industries, and with that presumably dead fish in the trailer, it could be explored. i hope they won't make it weird though, as you know.. the whole thing with mammals has been a bit bizarre..
anyway, it was suggested that a species of cat should be bred that changes colors when exposed to radiation, so essentially a living sign of nuclear threat. as things such as nursery rhymes have been culturally significant in some way for many, many years.. in 2014, the musician 'emperor x' was commissioned by the podcast '99% invisible' to create a song about this idea for an episode about long-term nuclear waste warning messages.
whatever this fucker is. they could be completely done with grizzco, but who knows.
{edit 8/23/23 i've been told it resembles the bake-kujira. the ghost whale which is accompanied by "weird birds or fish."}
giving us the song '10,000-Year Earworm to Discourage Settlement Near Nuclear Waste Repositories {Don't Change Color, Kitty.}' the gist of this track being "if the cat turns bright colors, run!" and was designed to be "so catchy and annoying that it might be handed down from generation to generation over a span of 10,000 years."
youtube
so, themes of radiation are very likely to be present. this brings us to our next section, the coral bleaching.
as you may know, healthy coral has beautifully bright colors. this is due to microscopic algae known as zooxanthellae, which lives inside of the algae's polyps. it is also a major source of food, and nutrients. coral bleaching occurs when coral reefs are under stressful conditions, a huge one being climate change, which i will get deeper into that specifically. if the waters it lives in heat up too much, the coral will begin to expel this zooxanthellae.. leaving it completely white, and exposing its bone-like structure.
healthy vs partially bleached coral.
while bleached coral isn't quite dead, the aftermath of said bleaching makes it much more susceptible to disease and malnourishment due to lack of nutrition. if the waters stay too warm for too long, or if the bleaching is too extreme, the coral will die.
images from the official side order trailer, showing us bleached and possibly dead coral.
coral bleaching is an ongoing issue, and efforts have been made to conserve and regrow the coral reefs.. this brings us to a shorter section, but one worthy of a mention.
coral cloning. coral cloning is a phenomenon where a small bit of a healthy coral is cut, and grows into a full piece. it helps when this, sometimes miniscule, piece is placed next to another. this speeds up growth almost rapidly. however, it is not too easy to grow, and this method isn't totally fool-proof. coral requires very certain conditions to flourish, such as not being placed on an open ocean floor, but instead in an already established habitat. also things like water temperature, pH levels, pollution, all can stunt growth. this is a very vast oversimplified explanation, but i believe you get the picture. have you wondered why i am bringing this up? here is why..
am i saying this directly implies cloning? not exactly. it's an interesting thing to note, though, as you might know how octarians {NOT OCTOLINGS!} are born.. via severed tentacle. coral can sometimes be born via severed piece. i'm not going to go into this much more, as it's kind of an out-there comparison. do with that what you will.
continuing on with the radiation and infectious theme, i feel i should mention ultraviolet radiation. the sun produces these UV rays, of course, and they can be good in moderation. if it's too much? it can be absolutely killer. you guessed it, ultraviolet radiation does play a part in warmer waters, which aids in bleaching coral. however, that's not all.. the state of inkopolis square we see in the side order trailer could very well also be due to residue of nuclear radiation from the human society's many wars. before humanity's fall, natural disasters were more prevalent than ever, and we still don't really know what exactly happened besides the massive flood. the sea levels rising was the reason the great turf war, the deadliest war to strike inkadia, even happened. things like oil spills could possibly be going on too, as in some photos, you can see this black liquid.
i'm going to state the obvious and add on that oil spills are incredibly dangerous to marine life, and that includes coral reefs.
remnants of human life have not disappeared from inkadia, or anywhere in this world dominated by marine life. it's not far-fetched to say they could still be affected by anything else left behind, climate wise.
the landscape of thorns has not been built, to my knowledge, but maybe it was here. this could be a rediscovered nuclear plant, who knows. especially as certain kinds of radiation, again, can stay hazardous for upwards of ten-thousand years, and possibly longer. you may have caught that ten-thousand is an important number for multiple reasons, especially with the possibility that this octoling is eight. the human race has been extinct for longer than ten-thousand years by this point, but it's something to remember. but there's still questions.. where do pearl and marina fall now? what is their role? is this an infection only targeting octolings, and other octarians? what's going on with marina? only time will tell, yeah?
there you have it, if you read this far.. definitely tell me what you think. i've still not covered everything in the trailer, so any add-ons would be cool if you have any. this took a while to research and write, so thanks for reading.
sources:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coral_bleaching
https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/scientists-are-taking-extreme-steps-to-help-corals-survive/
https://www.worldwildlife.org/pages/everything-you-need-to-know-about-coral-bleaching-and-how-we-can-stop-it
https://response.restoration.noaa.gov/about/media/how-do-oil-spills-affect-coral-reefs.html
https://youtu.be/JENUAv0w8Q4
https://youtu.be/ZiULxLLP32s
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Long-term_nuclear_waste_warning_messages
https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20200731-how-to-build-a-nuclear-warning-for-10000-years-time
https://youtu.be/dDIMYAYSGCo
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Hi! Sorry to bug you but I had a question about the mask trope for people with facial differences.
I have a character in my story and I'm not sure if he counts as that trope or not. He has a large scar across his face (not a burn scar) that he hides with a magic spell (not a physical mask).
He's very self concious about it but he doesn't hide it for that reason, he hides it because he's in disguise and he can't risk being recognized. If he trusts the person he's talking to and they ask about it, he'll show them and explain why he hides it.
There are multiple other characters in the story that have scars (including facial scars) and make no effort to hide them and aren't uncomfortable/self concious about them at all.
Is that still a problem? At the end of the story, once he's no longer wanted, he's going to stop using the spell to hide it.
Also welcome to all the new mods! So many new friends here :D
Hi,
to answer your first question - does he count:
"He has a large scar across his face [...] that he hides"
This is quite literally the definition, so yes, very much so. "Mask" in this context isn't to be always taken as a physical object.
I urge you to go look into why he is self-conscious about it. Does he, to put it simply, get over it? Or does he stay ashamed of being disabled the whole story? I'm not the biggest fan of writers without this kind of first-hand experience writing a whole story about a character who goes through that. Most of the time, it falls flat and circles back to the same "facial difference=ugly" problem I mention in a lot of my posts.
My second point would be - this is, more or less, disability erasure. Facial difference is a disability, and "magic that gets rid of the disability" is probably one of the most commonly talked about tropes in writing disabled characters. Why is this the "fix" you decided to go with? Are other disabilities also able to just be wizarded away for convenience? If spells are so powerful, then why not make it so everyone who sees him forgets he was there anyway?
Last thing would be - honestly: does he need to have that scar? He's embarrassed about it, he makes it go away with magic, why bother? I just don't understand what the reason for it is. Now, I know that there doesn't have to be "a reason" for a disabled character to exist, but you have to ask yourself if you even want to write this character to be disabled. Sometimes it's fine to left things out. You don't have to include every group ever "just to do it", it should be done with care.
I would probably stick to the representation with the side characters who don't have those issues.
If you haven't read one of my previous posts about disfiguremisia, I think it could explain some of my issues with these things better.
mod Sasza
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