#i theoretically have a list to get through but i just enjoy picking at random more i think

[starswallowingsea]

this might be sooo late already but im here to ask for any enstars story recs... Go off if you'd like 🛐 thank you user starswallowingsea

OH i feel you on that anon I try to keep up with all the event stories as they release in engstars so i can really get a feel for all the units and that's kinda how i ended up falling in love with some of the characters I wasn't expecting to ehehe. And since my favorite unit is exclusive to the !! era, I kinda just poke around ! era for what seems interesting. I'll throw some recs under the cut though for both eras!

! Era

Steampunk Museum: Focuses on 2wink and Valkyrie and is where the line where Shu says he can tell the twins apart by their hair length comes from! It's just about the two units doing a live to help out with a museum that has undergone renovations and is doing a grand re-opening basically. It's cute and light and really sweet.

Duel: Trickstar v Knights ROUND 2 I think this was a continuation of Sakura Fes which was the first event and I have not read it but it was still pretty easy to understand either way. It is from like 2015 though so fair warning for canon typical transphobia towards Arashi. Another pretty light event.

Kabukimono: Akatsuki v 2wink! Mostly a focus on Akatsuki's developments post-war but there were some really cute moments for Shu and Kuro's relationship as well, and some brief moments with 2wink, as well as Yuta and Souma interactions.

Aquarium: I so wish I read this before Meteor Impact. It does come after MI chronologically but it does a good job of like. Laying down all of Kanata's problems and relationships. If you haven't read MI yet, read this first it will make a lot of sense I promise.

Obligatory Reminiscense stories here. They're all good I haven't read all of them yet but I have read Meteor Impact and Checkmate and it's made me wish I waited to read them for the first time. Spend some time with the units before reading these is my advice.

!! Era

Okay full disclosure, I've only read the events and scout stories that have been released in Eng (and even then, only the scouts they did the auto unlock for the stories + like. Honey Bee and parts of Vagabond and Tales of the Moon) and Crazy:B events so this list is gonna be a little less diverse.

Any Crazy:B story: Literally my favorite unit of all time I cannot even tell you. My suggested reading order is like. Spider -> Hot Limit -> Night Club -> Ariadne -> Obbligato. The only one I haven't read is Sudden Death and that's only because I am Trying to Be Patient and wait for it to come out in Eng <- suffering greatly. Lumping them together so this part doesn't become Crazy:B infodump

Conquest: Hiyori's song event. The song is fantastic and the event did a good job introducing their dynamics in this era imo. Drop a like if you want Ibara to swear more often.

Twin Peaks: 2wink event! If you liked Night Club you should definitely read this since it expounds on a lot of stuff touched upon in Night Club (I really like Night Club can you tell). All about Hinata coming to terms with actually starting to grow apart from Yuta and become his own person along with one last hurrah as identical twins.

A Dark Night's Passing: Double Face introduction! Although DF stories tend to put a lot of focus on Madara, I did still enjoy this event for them. They both have people they want to protect and keep their darker sides away from and really set up some potentially good dynamics. I haven't heard that Spring Evening's Respite (Kohaku's center for DF) was great for them, since it continued to focus on Madara, but their intro event was great and it's pretty timely to read it with their Climax coming out in a few days.

And this will be a scout stories section! The scout stories tend to mix people from different units together for their interactions which is always really fun to watch how those play out. I particularly enjoyed Reloaded which was the Tomoya Izumi feature with the "Zombie Apocalypse" happening while they were handcuffed together. It's very silly but also has a really good Izumi Senior Advice moment at the end. Also shout out to Honey Bee and ASOBI-- *I am forcibly removed from the post*

[bootleg-nessie]

List of Extremely Cursed Knowledge

Having autism and ADHD is a blessing and a curse because on one hand, I’m basically a walking encyclopedia of random facts and information. On the other hand, a fair amount of that information is so fucked up that it’s not socially acceptable to share it with anyone. So naturally, I took every fucked up fact, every bit of twisted trivia, every bit of cursed knowledge that I could come up with off the top of my head and compiled it into one big list to post on the internet. Some of this information may permanently ruin your (you, the reader) perception of certain things. None of this information should have ever seen the light of day, and a fair amount of it was never, ever meant to be known by humans.

You cannot unlearn anything on this list. This is your chance to scroll past.

You have been warned.

\/ \/ \/

According to FDA standards, a jar of peanut butter is allowed to have up to seven (7) rat hairs before it’s considered unfit for human consumption. If it has 7 or less rat hairs it will still be sold in stores.

If I just ruined peanut butter for you, don’t google the FDA regulations on any other foods you enjoy.

Human teeth have 36 calories each.

The average human body has roughly 125,000 calories. This is actually relatively low, which makes cannibalism in humans generally unsustainable.

Human meat tastes like pork.

Penguins have been observed practicing necrophilia.

Dolphin vaginas secrete a substance that acts like an aphrodisiac on steroids. When scientists swabbed some of it on a chimpanzee’s penis, it masturbated so furiously that it had a heart attack and died.

Dolphins have been known to intentionally commit suicide if kept in poor conditions.

Scientists that work with cockroaches often become allergic due to exposure. Simultaneously, they also develop an allergy to chocolate and pre-ground coffee. Make of that what you will.

Dolphins have been observed masturbating using decapitated fish heads.

Dolphins have been observed getting high on pufferfish venom recreationally, sometimes even passing a pufferfish around like a joint.

There’s a LOT of rape across the entire animal kingdom. Like, a LOT. It’s especially prevalent in dolphins, otters, ducks, penguins, and primates, to name a few.

On a related note, female ducks have corkscrew shaped vaginas. Male ducks also have corkscrew shaped penises that measure in at a whopping eighteen inches.

The barnacle has the largest penis to body size ratio in the animal kingdom, with its penis being up to eight times as long as its body.

Chimpanzees have been observed using frogs as a fleshlight.

A disembodied human head weighs about 10-12 lbs and is balanced in such a way that requires you to use both hands to pick up.

Pigs will eat every single part of a corpse - including bones. In 2012 a farmer in Oregon was eaten by his pigs after having a heart attack and falling in their enclosure. This also makes pig pens a prime spot for dumping bodies.

A body will decompose faster if you fill the rectal cavity with yogurt before burying it

When burying a body, make sure to bury it in a heavily wooded area. If vegetation is too sparse and/or the body isn’t buried deep enough, it will be easily noticeable after a few months because plants will grow in much thicker directly above where the body was buried.

You cannot bury a body in sand, as sand is too porous. The smell will seep through and give away the location

The entire universe could theoretically exist as a false vacuum and collapse into nothingness at any moment without warning.

Any alien civilization advanced enough to detect life on earth is also probably advanced enough to destroy our entire planet almost immediately. At the peak of interstellar technology, the only limiting factor is the speed of light. If they decided to attack, we probably wouldn’t even know it was coming until the entire surface of the planet was already vaporized.

It takes three and a half rotations to fully detach a human head from its body.

Recently deceased bodies can experience rigor erectus, which translates to “death boner.” This is especially common in victims of hanging, as it’s primarily caused by trauma to the cerebellum or spinal cord.

There is an extremely real chance that you have unknowingly purchased a product that was made by modern day slaves at least once in your life. Coffee, cotton, fish, clothes, shoes, and technology are among the most vulnerable industries.

A decapitated head remains conscious for several seconds after separated from the body.

The entire koala population across Australia is currently undergoing a major chlamydia epidemic. It’s actually been extremely devastating for them and they’re currently facing the threat of extinction because of it.

[britesparc]

Weekend Top Ten #573

Top Ten Moments in Spielberg Movies – Updated 2023

Last week I celebrated eleven years of doing this daft blog by going back over nearly six hundred lists and choosing my favourites. And one of my favourites is – and always has been – the very first list I ever did. Top Ten Moments in Spielberg Movies (as Illustrated by a Line of Dialogue). Yes, going back to old Top Tens like this reveals how little I used to write, and sometimes that’s a negative; just a random list of ten things with no thought or nuance behind it. As much as it’s a faff nowadays to find the time, I do think explaining my thought process at least adds a little bit more interest and entertainment should anyone other than me be reading it.

Well, theoretically.

Anyway, sometimes the brevity of those early lists is actually a benefit, and this is one of those times, because I think just illustrating the choices with a line of dialogue could – potentially – make those moments resonate even more. That’s assuming you’ve seen the films and know what the dialogue’s referring to, of course; but if you have, then reading those lines – hearing those words, albeit in your head – transports you back to how you felt when you watched those scenes play out in front of you, perhaps for the first time. It’s a device I’ve used a few times, and the only reason I don’t do it more often is because it’s actually quite hard to think of lists where you’re talking about specific moments like that, moments that can be summed up in a line of dialogue. I mean, think about that three-way lightsaber fight in The Phantom Menace, or – to quote a more recent example – Maverick completing the training run to show his students how it’s done. What are the quotes there? They’re scenes of action and emotion and filmmaking technique rather than wordy-words.

Thank God Spielberg isn’t really famous for action-based set-pieces, eh? I mean, it’s a godsend that he’s not, like, directed a really terrific and largely dialogue-free action sequence where a guy goes through the windscreen of a truck and then makes his way underneath the truck and then climbs up the back of the truck.

Yes, if that last paragraph wasn’t a dead giveaway, I have been suitably inspired by the Ghosts of Top Tens Past to return to the scene of the crime and revisit the one where it all began. Largely because I don’t really remember the “moon on the rise” scene from A.I. all that well anymore, I thought eleven years was enough temporal water under the bridge to allow me to update the list of Spielberg moments for a new generation. After all, he’s directed six films in the interim; maybe there are some moments worth celebrating in there?

And so, in the spirit of that original list, I present to you here my new and improved (well, new) list of Favourite Steven Spielberg Movie Moments, once again Illustrated by a Line of Dialogue. And this time – because I’m nice – I’ve linked to the scenes so you can enjoy them once again. I’m just fab.

“I can do anything, I’m the chief of police.” (Jaws, 1975): probably my favourite scene in all of cinema. World-weary chief Brody sits wracked with guilt, drinking too much, but also finding time to play with his son. Hooper comes in and, with some nicely nuanced and very Seventies-style actorly cross-talk we get character development and exposition and a really subtle, quiet show of inner strength and resourcefulness from Brody as he picks at a label on a wine bottle. It’s also really funny as he pours himself a huge glass. And then, resolute, he declares they’re going to autopsy a shark. “Can you do that?” asks Ellen Brody. And he replies…

“Einstein was probably one of them.” (Close Encounters of the Third Kind, 1977): the entire ending of Close Encounters is one ongoing exercise in shared joy, an entirely secular religious experience. The aliens land, and the scientists learn how to communicate with them via music, and people come off the ship… all the while everyone is on the same page – including Dreyfuss’ Roy Neary. When the long-abducted people debark the mothership, having not aged in twenty or thirty years, one scientist muses that Einstein was right about the effects of time dilation when travelling at near-light speeds. Cue this excellent retort. But really this line just represents the euphoric optimism of this movie’s end.

“Boy, do I hate being right all the time…” (Jurassic Park, 1993): for about forty minutes or so the film slowly builds tension as we assemble our cast and then get them stuck in the rain on the island full of dinosaurs. All of them have their doubts, but especially Malcolm, who has been relentlessly sceptical about the whole affair – “life finds a way,” and all that. And then the film shifts gear into the gnarly monster movie it really is, and Spielberg pulls out all the stops – the glass of water, the sound of the cables snapping, “where’s the goat” – and then we see a revolution in visual effects unfold as an entirely computer-generated dinosaur walks out of her broken cage. Malcolm Was Right!

“One more person…” (Schindler’s List, 1993): although a dark and unflinching look at the horrors of the Holocaust, there’s an optimistic kernel of hope at the centre of this film – of love triumphing out of darkness – and we see some if here at the end, as Schindler prepares to go on the run and is overcome with remorse at all the lives he could have saved, down to selling a pin for one more person. Yes, it’s sentimental, as the Jewish workers crowd round to praise him; but Liam Neeson’s performance as he breaks down over not saving one more life is the stuff of tragic heroism.

“With a little luck, he’s found the Grail already.” (Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, 1989): I really struggled with finding a moment from one of the Indys because, well, there are so many. Some of the action is superlative – the truck chase in Raiders, the tank chase in Crusade – and there are other character moments (“It’s the mileage,”), set-pieces (“Anything Goes!”), or gags (“No ticket!”). But on reflection this is my favourite, a slow track in towards a captured Indy as he earnestly sings the praises of Marcus Brody before one of the greatest – and certainly funniest – jump-cuts in cinema history.

“I’ll be right here.” (E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial, 1982): whilst the ending of Close Encounters is emotional because it’s so optimistic, here the ending is bittersweet and tinged with sadness. Yes, they save E.T.; but he has to go. We have the breakneck chase to get him to his ship, and then the tearful goodbyes. “Ouch,” he says, because his heart hurts. But then he reminds Elliot that, to coin a phrase, no one’s ever really gone, because a part of them will always stay with us, in our memories. Sad, happy, beautiful; one of the great weepy endings. Be good.

“Tonight...” (West Side Story, 2021): this movie is just sheer filmmaking craft, an excellently put-together picture from start to finish. Every shot timed, framed, lit, scored perfectly. Here as Tony sings to Maria, he climbs the fire escapes up to her apartment window, the crooning lovebirds constantly separated by ladders and railings and gantries, their faces framed within frames. And it just looks gorgeous throughout, a bunch of people working at the height of their powers. Song’s a belter, too.

“When the horizon’s at the top, it’s interesting.” (The Fabelmans, 2022): the most recent one on this list and the only one that’s not really – not really – up on YouTube to watch (which kinda makes sense as it’s still in cinemas). Basically – spoiler alert, I guess – the film ends with a recreation of a young Spielberg’s meeting with an old John Ford, as Sam Fabelman chats to the man himself (played by David Lynch!), and is given a lecture on how to make a shot interesting. It’s hilarious, but then there’s the pièce de resistance: that exquisite final shot, one of the most knowing and self-deprecating things Spielberg has ever done, and a sure candidate for greatest final shot of all time. I won’t spoil it. If you know you know.

“You were on the Indianapolis?” (Jaws, 1975): good Lord, two moments from Jaws? And neither of them are about a bigger boat? Shocking but true, but then again how could I overlook this, one of the most famous speeches in history. This whole scene is tremendous, the subtle acting from everyone – drunken singing, the scar comparison (Brody looking at an appendectomy scar), Hooper’s “mother” joke – all leading up to Quint’s speech. The complicated history of its writes and rewrites, its multiple fathers, and above all Robert Shaw’s performance and Spielberg’s unshowy direction lead to a truly chilling, iconic moment of cinematic history.

“Here’s where it gets truly slippery...” (Lincoln, 2012): an oddly overlooked masterpiece, Lincoln is a stagey, theatrical film where terrific actors get to deliver a tremendous script, and Spielberg sensibly gets out of the way but also knows that it has to look really pretty, Janusz Kamiński’s cinematography making it look like a sepia-tinged painting come to life. Day Lewis’ Lincoln delivers a sprawling monologue about the ethics and legality of his Emancipation Proclamation, diverting to deliver aphorisms and daft gags and only tangentially-related stories. It manages to be a dense and layered investigation of executive power but also oddly tense, Lincoln himself both folksy and threatening. It’s a stunning performance, a tremendous moment, and another example in relatively recent years of Spielberg as a master craftsman who just knows how to put a film together.

Well, that was incredibly hard. I kinda wish I’d not bothered trying to find links as quite a few of those don’t do any justice to the photography of the films themselves. And there’s so much I’ve not had room for – Omaha Beach, “Everybody runs”, “I think we’re back in business”, the glass scene in The Lost World, the bike chase through the library in Crystal Skull, “Jesus is sexy”, “Smile you son of a…”, singing under the bleachers in West Side Story, the truck helping the schoolkids, the Tintin tank scene, Tim Robbins in War of the Worlds, even – I have to say it – pretty much every Bob Hoskins moment in Hook. And I guess “moon on the rise” from A.I.? I should probably watch that film again.

[washymylifeaway]

IwaOi fanfic recs: my top 10

Okay so I have like so many wips that I keep looking at and then I like don’t? do? them? It’s fine :’))))) But instead of me finishing those, here’s my top 10 picks for IwaOi! This will probably become a series for the ships I like, but we’ll see LOL. Usually when I rec fics, it’s just any that I’ve read and enjoyed, but these are the ones I keep coming back to! Also I made this cause the IwaOi ship has SO many fics and if I had to do a WHOLE fic rec list, I would never finish (ie. the sakuatsu draft ahahaha).

Let’s get this party started :D

As always, pls check WARNINGS, TAGS, and SUMMARIES for fics before reading and make sure you’re taking care of yourselves (since mental health is key!) Stay healthy loves <3

Ignore the fact that some of these are from my other posts OKAY :(

1. The Loyalty of a Traitor by DeathBelle (E) 76.9k /cp/ ok so does me liking this fic make me basic cause I feel basic LOL. I really love mafia fics, and the way the story line developed was SO good, like IN LOVE with this story. This is a fic where you should read WARNINGS, TAGS, and SUMMARY before diving in, but if the length scares you, don’t be. It’s so easy to fall in and get lost in the writing!

2. Conquering the Great King by SuggestiveScribe (E) 105.6k /cp/ I LOVE THIS SERIES AHHHHHHHHH. Honestly I know the 105.6k word count is SCARY I UNDERSTAND BUT it is SO worth it. This is the first fic of the series and it's mainly IWAOI, but there are other ships too so if IWAOI isn't your thing, check for the other ships :) Also if you don't mind smut (cause it is explicit for a reason LOL) then please I beg of you to read the whole series!!!!!!! I love love love this one and it really got me invested in the whole fanfic thing LOL.

3. Shiver by Yuu_chi (T) 16.7k // THIS UGH. I’ve BEEN in LOVE with this fic for like five-ever omg. It’s SO good and the character portrayal and plot progression in this is AMAZING. Whenever I come across it, I always reread it cause it’s just so worth it! (Also that paragraph about Iwa trash talking himself made me laugh OMG.)

4. the courtship ritual of the hercules beetle by kittebasu (chanyeol) (T) 66.3k /cp/ again, basic? Probably LOL but it’s good so I have no shame ;) Again, pls don’t let the word count scare you (cause it scared me LOL), you get really into it after like 2 paragraphs, so just make sure you have enough time to finish hehe.

5. dyspnea/arrhythmia by carafin (T) 10.8k // I adore medical fics and I also love Iwa being good with kids,,,, (I think it’s very fitting okay? And the pokemon cameo was great) This was such a great fic and Iwa + Suga being friends is SO CUTE (crying into his orange juice, I want to be). I REALLY loved this fic, and the ending was *chef’s kiss*!!!! (STAN PAEDS IWA)

6. Build A Temple In Me by Authoress (T) 39.7k // God Oikawa and idgaf Iwa is such a good combination. UGH. I loved the plot of this fic and the conflict was done SO WELL. I also loved how Iwa kept coming back and HIS GRANDMA IS THE BEST <33333 But also their friendship was SO CUTE (THE SONG GUYS THE SONG) and poor Kyoutani :( (There’s also a spicy second fic you should read hehe!)

7. i'm gonna be the man who comes back home to you by baekuugo (insxouts) (M) 22.5k // UGH SINGLE DAD IWA? Yes please!!! I really love the plot in this one and sassy Kageyama + Hinata + Yachi is such a cute friendship! Also a proud stan of the IwaOi + SugaDai friendship agenda,,,, I love them. (Beware some spice is included aka smut LOL)

8. to be first, to be best by kittebasu (chanyeol) (T) 26.4k /cp/ okay I think I've read this fic like 3 times already (4 now cause I reread it for this list and I remember why I love this fic AGAIN LOL OOPS), but the plot never sticks with me LOL. Not cause it's a bad fic, but because I have a crap memory. Regardless, I know it's a good fic because like I said I managed to re-read on 2 3 separate occasions so yea. (it’s a really cute fic and I really enjoyed the ending, esp the extra! Also stupid, oblivious iwa is bae)

9. silver tongue by ohhotlamb (E) 10.3k // OKAY THIS WAS FUNNY. Like the betrayal and such made me laugh and it was embarrassing. All the emotions in one LMFAO. And like everyone in this fic and the secret operation? OMG. Anyway, there’s a second fic and ITS PRETTY MUCH GOLD AS WELL so like go read them both (RIP pizza party) :D (SMUT ALERT AHAHA)

10. love me like you do by crossbelladonna (T) 100.5k // this fic was SUCH a rollercoaster omg. First, the concept itself was great and the execution was flawless and Ushiwaka was ajfnlajsdnf. AND THE ENDING!!!! THE ending omg. And Lev being a car made me laugh LMFAO. And we love f ups AHHHHH. If this made no sense, you’re right,,, it didn’t,,, so you should go read it so it does HAHAHA.

In hindsight, this 10 limit made me cry because I had like 20 of them and I had to sift through them but even then the 20 was from a larger pile which was in a larger pile.... TLDR: I wanted to put more fics :’))))) But honestly, the ranking of these are pretty loose and like when I say that I mean you could literally just randomize the numbers and I would accept it LOL. The way I might just end up making a pt 2 of IwaOi cause as I was making this list, I kept rereading all the fics (which is why it took so long to come out hahahahahahha) and I fell back in love with IwaOi (like I was ever not lost in IwaOi hell)...... But yea these are my “top 10″ theoretically (misinterpret that as you will as I cry over the fics I couldn’t/didn’t include).

[shadowthrone-ammanas]

Prompt: Post-game, Hat Kid joins in the endless Subconite bone-prank-war mailing list. With, like, fish skulls and stuff.

Thank you for the request! And this takes place after my fic Guilt and it’s part 2. I apparently like putting things in the same timeline.

Bones

There was a mail box in front of her ship now. It was made entirely of wood and had the words ‘HAT KID’ scrawled on either side of it. The Subconites must’ve put it up overnight because it hadn’t been here when she’d landed her ship yesterday. She’d have to thank them later even if she wasn’t sure it’d be used much because she doubted anyone would want to send her mail.

She was proven wrong a week later when she returned to her ship to find the mailbox had been jammed packed with mail. It wasn’t letters or boxes though but… bones. Femurs to be precise, six of them; three jammed into the mailbox, poking out and another three laid down beside it.

After a quick glance around to ascertain the mailperson wasn’t still in the area to question, she picked one up. There wasn’t a return address on it, just a bow and a tag reading ‘KID’S SHIP’. Clearly that was meant to be her address so… why had she been sent six bones in the mail? Was this some kind of threat or intimidation thing like she’s seen in a few movies? … No, couldn’t be, could it? Hmm… there was only one thing to do.

 -

“Snatcher,” she called as she poked her head into his favourite reading hollow. Good, he was in there.

He lowered his book with a sigh to look at her. “Yeah?”

Readjusting her grip on the bones – all six – she strode inside. “Why did I have six bones sent to my mail box?”

Snatcher lifted a hand in an unsuccessful attempt to hide a smile. “Don’t worry about kid, just mail them to someone else and then it’s their problem.”

She frowned at him. “Is this a joke or something?” It was a very strange one if so, morbid too. Though morbid made sense considering everyone in the forest expect her was dead.

“Yeah, I guess it’s a joke. The Subconites send bones around the mail all the time. It’s just a thing they do, I don’t know why. I allow it because they’d complain if I tried to put a stop to it. The fact that you have six means that they like you, think of it as a ‘welcome to the neighborhood’ type of thing.”

“Do they send you bones sometimes too?”

“It’s been going on for more than a hundred years now so yeah, I’ve gotten them mailed to me more than a few times. Honestly, it’s kind of annoying so feel free to trash them and end this whole dumb game if you want to. With how many you have, that’s probably most of them. As if he wasn’t participating in the whole thing too and enjoyed it.

“Hmm… I don’t think I will.” She lived here now because Snatcher was legally her father, so she wanted in on this hundred year plus game too. And she was for sure going to send Snatcher one. “How do I mail them to other people?” She already knew that Snatcher had been lying about source of the mail when he’d contracted her to deliver way back then. It was actually from other Subconites and Snatcher himself. Meaning she should be able to send mail too.

Snatcher half sighed, half groaned as he got up from his chair. “I’ll show you, I guess.”

 -

“How did the whole mailing bone things start?” she asked one the Subconites a few hours later while visiting the village.

He shrugged. “I don’t know. I don’t think anyone but the person who started it does, assuming they haven’t been destroyed in one of her attacks or gotten tired of existing and moved on.”

“Wait, you guys can die again?”

“No, we can be destroyed or we can choose to let go and move on, you know, like people who don’t become ghosts do when they die.”

“What happens to them?”

“No one knows. I don’t want to find out anytime soon either.”

Hat Kid glanced around Subcon Village. She’d always kind of wondered why there were so few Subconites when supposedly an entire kingdom’s worth of people had been frozen. Even if only a third of them had become ghosts upon death, there should’ve been more Subconites and Dwellers. But there weren’t. Meaning some of them had been destroyed, presumably by Vanessa because who else could ‘her’ said like that refer to, or decided to ‘move on’. And there was no way they could replenish their numbers either which meant theoretically one day, they could all move on or be destroyed and Snatcher would be alone in his forest. Thinking about that was too sad so…

“Uh… about the bone thing again,” she said. “Snatcher said you guys have been doing it for more than a hundred years now. Is it the same bones or do you guys get new bones sometimes?”

“The same bones but people add new bones sometimes. No one knows who though or when. So, no one really knows how many there in circulation expect for maybe the Boss. I don’t know how closely he keeps an eye on it.”

“Hmm… okay, thank you for telling me.”

 -

The next time mail came around, Hat Kid got three bones. She mailed one to Snatcher and the other two to random addresses. She mailed one more thing too, to the Subconite who’d kindly informed her about the whole thing; a fish skull. She’d found it while visiting the island to hang out with Mu for a little bit. It had been on the beach and she’d had a thought and decided why not go for it and see what happened. Mu had spotted her picking it up and had given her a hard time, especially when she didn’t explain what she wanted it for. Thankfully she’d quickly dropped it though.

Maybe someone would know she’d sent a fish skull instead of femur and she’d get in trouble for it. Or maybe the Subconite who got it would toss it instead of sending it to another person. Or maybe he would send it and that person would toss it. Maybe there was some reason they were only sending femurs around so her addition wasn’t a good one. It was worth a try though because why not?

Weeks went by and she didn’t see it again anywhere, in the mail or trash anywhere. At around the two month mark she was about ready to give up on it when upon opening her mailbox, she saw it. She grabbed it and pulled it out to get a better look.

Yep, it was the one she’d sent! It had presumably made its rounds through the mail just like the bones. Sweet! Her experiment had been a success. She was for sure going to add more things too just for the sake of it. Not yet though, she didn’t want anyone suspecting it was her adding non-femur bones to the bone pool. Or at least she didn’t want them to know yet, eventually they’d probably figure it out because she had a hard time controlling her impulses sometimes and would undoubtedly end up adding too many things and thus call attention to herself. Until then though she was going to enjoy her secret even if it was kind of dumb.

For this drabble event.

[choptopsbigstinkyslut]

A-Z for Daddy Otis PLZ 😭😛🤤

Headcanon Game - A to Z (NSFW)

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Unfortunately, Otis doesn't have a lot of compassion. So while he does enjoy screwing you up, he doesn't show much compassion for you. He'll probably pull out, sit back and ask if "Ya aight?" if you say yes, he'll probably go find himself a drink...say no and you'll get a pat on the back and then he's off to find a drink...and maybe he'll bring you back some water.

B = Body part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

This shouldn't be too complex to respond to simply because his favorite body part happens to be his hands...considering all the wild things he can do with them.

His favorite part of your body is more than likely your chest.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

Filthy. Bitter, thin, runny. Not necessarily the best thing to Swallow but you'll be Swallowing it if you like it or not. :-)

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

A dirty little secret? Well, I suppose you could say that Otis has a filthy little secret of a humiliation kink. What he wouldn't give to humiliate you by pounding into you in front of everyone. He just might do it too so uh, hope you like public sex.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

We know dear Otis has some experience. He knows what he likes and how he likes it. I don't see it necessary to elaborate too hard on this simply because as I go through this list I'll break it down basically...but yes, Otis knows exactly what he 's doing.

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

I'll say this once and only once.

D o g g y   s t y l e.

Capiche?

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

It's complicated. Otis can be rather bossy and kind of an asshole. Some of the shit he says can theoretically be funny but at the same time, it can be utterly disgusting. If you value that kind of humor that Brandon Rogers uses ( Dark, shock, offensive etc.) Then yeah, sure, Otis could be seen as Humorous, if you don't value that kind of humor than I uh-- what are you doing having sex with Otis Driftwood?

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

Oh ho ho, if you think this redneck devil shaves you are dead wrong. DE AD wrong. DEAD. Otis doesn't give a flying fuck about grooming down there and I mean- how often does he shower? Hardly ever...have you looked at that greasy ass hair? Yeah, there's a big 'ol bush down there.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

I feel like I should put no answer simply because I don't know if Otis is capable of intimate sex. I firmly believe he's in it to get off and that is that. Sorry.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

All the time. Any time. Otis has very little shame. He doesn't embarrass easily either. kind of funny honestly.  While he does beat that meat quite often it does NOT mean it doesn't take him six and a half years to reach his orgasm. Just pointing it out.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Blood Choking, Knife Play, Blood Play, Bondage, Branding, Nipple torture { Giving on that one}, Breathplay, Forced Collaring { Giving?}, CONSENSUAL NON-CONSENT, DACRYPHILIA, Exhibitionism, Face fucking, fisting {Giving}, Flogging {Giving}, Impact play {Giving}, Loud sex,  Needle Play, Orgasm Control, Orgies, Piercing, Queening, ROUGH SEX, Sensory Deprivation { Giving}, spanking.....Shall I continue?

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

Tough one to answer considering Otis will do it anywhere. Literally. Anywhere you ask him to. But if he had to pick a favorite probably against a wall in the hallway.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Big 'ol Tibbies and a big ol' booty thank you.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

It's hard to find some stuff that Otis would say no to but he probably isn't into that scation. If that makes sense.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

Otis preference for giving Oral is dependent on his mood. Truly. Sometimes he could be totally down for it, other times if you push too hard he very well may lose his temper and you'll end up dead. Now receiving Oral? You're forced to do that every single time the pants come off...just a fair warning.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

........Fast and Rough. There is no such thing as "Slow and Sensual" With Otis Driftwood. None.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

Quickies. All day. Every day. all the time. Quickies are good.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

Otis is down to experiment and is down to take risks but I suppose you could say he doesn't really care about your wishes to experiment.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

How many rounds can they go for? It depends on how intoxicated he is. If not at all, four or five if a little bit four or five if intoxicated maybe three or four--depends.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

Nope! none.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Otis is not a man to tease. He finds it stupid and a waste of perfectly good time he could be screwing his partners' brains out.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

Hell yes, Otis is loud. He is loud as all hell. Otis is a dirty talk king though. He'll make sure you know you are his dirty fuckin whore and that you belong to him. No doubt.

W = Wild Card (random headcanon)

I headcanon that Otis Probably had sex for the first time at around fourteen or fifteen. Not very old.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

Heh.

I can tell you that there's a half-erect half flaccid six-inch dick in there...if that's what ya wanna hear.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

High. Very high. Probably as high as a fourteen-year-old boy...Otis likes sex. Let him live.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterward)

Again, a hard dependency. How drunk he is really playing a big part in this. If he isn't that intoxicated the likelihood of him falling asleep is slim but if he's pretty fucked up he uh--he'll be out pretty early.

Thanks for the request love bug!! I hope you've enjoyed!!!

[dkronpa]

Chapter 3: Journey to Despair, Grave Secrets, Grave Lies ~Trial~

//Sorry for the long wait, but this is by far the longest chapter so far. It might be a little confusing but I think it starts to make sense in the latter part of the trial?? Sorry, this was the one case I really didn’t have the clearest plan of what I was doing.

//Hopefully you all still enjoy!

Bold = blue statements

Bold and italics = yellow statements

“Now! Let’s begin with a simple explanation of the class trial! You’re votes will determine the outcome of this, you will debate on a variety of topics regarding the murder and then try to identify ‘whodunit’. If you can correctly guess the culprit, then the culprit alone will be punished…but if you guess the wrong one. I’ll punish everyone besides the culprit! Hmm…the victim this time was a pretty big hotshot, huh? Pretty sad we lost such a big celeb. Our ratings are gonna go down for sure.”

 “Doubtful.” Sly-san said.

 “Indeed. I doubt Shinko-sama was the popular type.” Ishikawa-san said.

 “Geez, so much for having respect for the dead.” Kurohiko-san frowned, “Uh…I’m gonna be honest. Even after investigating, I don’t really know what to think about all this. I feel like the more I learned, the more confused I got.”

 “So, it wasn’t just me then.” Asano-san sighed. “Despite my best efforts, my evidence doesn’t add to anything…”

 “Then…let’s discuss…the location? Just to get the discussion going.” Ishikawa-san suggested. “It’s a mystery as to why the murder occurred in the history building. Shinko-sama was locking himself up in his room, so how could the killer manage to get him to the building?”

 …Shinko-san was careful. There was no way the killer could have easily lured him out…but then why was he at the history building…?

 -Non-stop Debate (1)-

Truth Bullets/Lie Bullets:

ElectroID Entrance/Tampered Card Reader

Crashing Noise/Silent Night

Blank Motive Card/Filled in Motive Card

 Tsukiko: Shinko-sama kept himself locked up in his room and wouldn’t see anybody. So, pray tell, why was he in the history building?

 Amaterasu: He probably just went by himself and got ambushed by the killer.

 Karma: Oh! Oh! Maybe the killer ambushed Toson beforehand…then they could have dragged him there whilst he was unconscious!

 Yuuki: I feel like there’s more problems with that situation. But, oh well.

 Ryuu: (Let’s figure this out first…I’m sure there’s evidence to disprove one of these theories.)

No, that’s wrong!

-

 “Graves-san, I don’t think Shinko-san was unconscious like you said he was. I got a copy of the card reader’s log and it said that on the night of the murder, Shinko-san used his handbook to enter the history building. So, he must have been conscious at that time…wait.” Why did I have this weird feeling?

 “Nagata-sama? Is something wrong with that deduction? I saw nothing wrong with the logic.” Ishikawa-san said.

 No…there is something wrong about that…is there not something else that might disprove that? “U-um…sorry, I might be wrong…I think? I dunno.”

 “H-huh? Nagata-kun’s confused?” Kirishima-san frowned, “And right off the bat too…?”

 Evidence that contradicts what I just said…?

-

Here’s my proof!

-

“Yokozawa-san, you remember that rag that was in the storage room…?”

 “Yeah, you picked it up and nearly passed out, from the looks of it…ah! You think…?” Yokozawa-san’s eyes widened slowly.

 “That rag might have been used to cause Shinko-san to pass out. After that, the killer could simply take his body all the way over to the history building. If the substance on that rag was something like chloroform or something similar…yeah, I think that makes sense-“

 That doesn’t add up!

-

 “Ah, contradictory evidence is waaay annoying! But I think its way more plausible that Shinko-san walked to the history building by himself. After all, that rag could’ve been planted later.” Kurohiko-san interjected.

 “So, you’re taking that stance, huh…?” I’ll have to argue this. This theory seems a lot more plausible in my eyes, so I just need to show Kurohiko-san why.

-Rebuttal Showdown Vs. Doi Kurohiko-

Truth Blades:

Monokuma File 3

Window Frame

Crashing Noise

Drag Marks in the dirt

Loose Bar

 Doi: No matter how I look at it, it makes way more sense for Shinko-san to have walked to the history building by himself. I can understand the idea behind him being ambushed in the storage room but transporting his body to the history building from there should have been impossible!

 Ryuu: How could they be impossible? Isn’t that a little presumptuous?

 Doi: Not at all! Shinko-san is a pretty in-shape guy. He would’ve been too heavy for anyone to carry all that distance. Plus the issue of the card reader still exists! It said Shinko-san entered, so it must have been Shinko-san! Not to mention that a rag by itself isn’t enough to convince anyone of a theory like that!

 Ryuu: (Kurohiko-san has some good points…but there’s more evidence behind my theory!)

I’ll cut through that argument!

-

 “No, it’s not just the rag that points to this happening! Just outside the dormitory building, right before the stone path up to the fountain, there are fresh drag marks in the dirt, as if something heavy was pulled through that spot.”

 “Something heavy like Toson-chan, you mean.” Amaterasu-san clarified.

 “Ah, really…? But…what about the card reader? It still said Shinko-san…” Kurohiko-san said.

 “That’s pretty easily explained. Shinko most likely already had his ElectroID on his person when he went to the storage room. Once he’s knocked out, the killer can just use Shinko’s ElectroID on the card reader themselves.” Sly-san said.

 “Wow, great deduction, Sly!” Graves-san cheered.

 “Even then, I believe there is more evidence to prove that Shinko-kun did not leave for the history building that night. I can say that for certain after seeing what was in his room.” Asano-san said. Right…in his room was…

-

Here’s my proof!

-

 “There were some plates of untouched food in Shinko-san’s room. It’s likely that Shinko-kun was getting ready to eat but forgot something from the storage room. When he went back after placing the food in his room, he got ambushed by the killer.”

 “I still have a few questions. You say that Shinko-sama was knocked out with chloroform? Where would the killer acquire such a thing? As far as I’m aware, there isn’t anywhere you could get such a substance.” Ishikawa-san said.

 Somewhere you could get chloroform…? I think there might have been one place…

-

Here’s my proof!

-

“In the history building, there are a number of different exhibits to check out. One of them is called ‘non-murdery murder tools’. Sly-san was telling me about that place and mentioned that it actually houses a number of different chemicals. It’s possible that chloroform is among those chemicals. In fact…knowing Monokuma, it’s almost definite.”

 “Ah?! You’re gonna blame me?!” Monokuma covered his mouth in shock.

 “He’s right though. I’ve been in that room before, and there was definitely bottles of chloroform in there. Even the chemicals needed to make it yourself if you’re a skilled enough chemist.” Amaterasu-san confirmed.

 “The distance might still be an issue. Like, theoretically, I get it. However, getting from the dorms to the history building, and then all the way up to the third floor? And into the iron maiden? That’s gotta be exhausting for anybody.” Kurohiko-san said.

 “So, the killer must have been a pretty strong person. Guess Yokozawa and Ram are out.” Sly-san said.

 “E-eh!? I’m out that easily?!”

 “Harsh.” Yokozawa-san said.

 “With that in mind, I’ll just go ahead and say it…Kurosaki’s the killer.” Sly-san said.

 “Aaaaand there it is.” Kurosaki-san shrugged to me as if to say ‘told ya!’.

 “Y-you’re accusing Kurosaki-kun? On what grounds, exactly?” Asano-san questioned.

 “He was in the history building on the night of the murder. I saw him there. It’s not too out of the question to think he’d be the murderer.”

 “The records do show that Kurosaki-sama entered the history building that night, however, we already established that the killer ambushed Shinko-sama and dragged his body to the history building and used Shinko-sama’s ElectroID on the card reader.” Ishikawa-san pointed out.

 “…what if Toson-chan woke up though?” Amaterasu-san suggested.

 “With Shinko’s body type, the amount of chloroform might have not been enough to keep him unconscious the whole time. If he woke up part-way, he might have ran to the history building to take cover.” Sly-san said.

 No…no there’s something wrong with that, and it clearly says it in this record.

-

My logic follows!

-

“That can’t be right though! In the records, it says that Kurosaki-san entered the history building before Shinko-san’s ElectroID was used.”

 “That’s not really too much of a problem to deal with. If Yuuki-chan took Toson-chan’s ElectroID after he ambushed him in the storage room, when Toson-chan woke up, he could have just grabbed whichever ElectroID in a panic.” Amaterasu-san argued. Agh…that’s…true. There’s no way to say that that didn’t happen…

 “Stop panicking, Nagata-kyun. I told you that my defence is in your hands.”

 “Eh…? The fuck you sayin’ all of a sudden? Don’t go shoving shit onto Nagata.” Okanaya-kun said.

 “No, it’s fine…” I really don’t think Kurosaki-san is the killer. I need to find a hole in Sly-san’s theory.

 -Non-Stop Debate (2)-

Truth Bullets/Lie Bullets

Window Frame/No Windows

Exhibit List/Unfinished Exhibits

ElectroID Entrance/Tampered Card Reader

Blood in the library/Shifted Bookshelves

 Sly: I’ll say it clearly; Kurosaki is the killer. Not only was he strong enough to have carried Shinko’s body, but he was also in the history building that night.

 Amaterasu: When it comes to the card reader…Toson-chan probably woke up…then he panicked when he realised the situation.

 Sly: And when he panicked, he stole a random ElectroID off of Kurosaki and fled to the history building, hence the contradiction with the card reader records.

 Rina: And if nobody else was in the building…

 Sly: The killer had to have been Kurosaki.

 Ryuu: (No…this is all wrong. Sly-san must know that I know, so why…?)

No, that’s wrong!

-

 “Actually, there was one more person in the building at the same time the records logged Shinko-san and Kurosaki-san. Sly-san, you also went to the history building that night.”

 “So? I already told you that I saw him there, didn’t I…? I saw Kurosaki enter the building.”

 “That cannot be right.” Ishikawa-san said, “No…the records said that you entered in between Shinko-sama using Kurosaki-sama’s ElectroID, who was first, and the vice-versa being second.”

 “Exactly. If you did see Kurosaki-san enter the history building, it would’ve been when Kurosaki-san’s ElectroID was logged as being used! That means, Shinko-san didn’t take his ElectroID!” What the hell…? Sly-san is being so quiet. It’s not like him to accuse anybody, especially when it’s so easily proven wrong…what gives?

 “But…that means that both Kurosaki and Sly were in the building right before Shinko got murdered, right?” Okanaya-kun asked. “What gives with that? What were you two doing…?”

 Both of them stayed quiet. Seriously, what is this bad feeling that I’m getting…? Like I’m gonna be sick…

 “Could it be…an accomplice?” Ishikawa-san said.

 “A-accomplice?” I repeated.

 “Allow me to explain. Monokuma informed us on day one that accomplices couldn’t be acquitted of the murder and win the trial, only the person who did the actual killing can…however, with this case, it may have been possible for there to have been two killers.”

 “Oh ho~?” Kurosaki-san smirked. “Mademoiselle, you want to accuse both myself and Herr Knives?”

 “Imagine this. The two of you manage to lure Shinko-sama to the history building, you work together to drag him to the torture exhibit. If you both opened the iron maiden, both of you threw Shinko-sama inside, and both of you closed it…then both of you would be equally as responsible for his death!”

 “Ergo, two culprits.” Sly-san concluded. “You’re delusional.”

 “H-hold on, is it even possible for two people to be the culprit?! Monokuma?!” Kirishima-san asked. Monokuma tapped his paw on his chin before speaking.

 “It’s not impossible if that scenario took place. After all, if two people really did work together to close the iron maiden door then they would have both violated the rules equally.” Monokuma said. “So, in that scenario…sure! There would be two culprits!”

 “But it’s unlikely.” Kurohiko-san said.

 “However, the possibility is there, and in the class trial, all possibilities must be explored.” Ishikawa-san argued.

 “Fine, I’ll play ball. I’m not the killer.” Sly-san said nonchalantly.

 “At least sound like you care, will you?! You could be sentenced to death!” Kurohiko-san yelled.

 “Losing my composure here wouldn’t do me any good. I’ll fight your accusation with a level-head and show you all why you’re wrong.”

 -Non-Stop Debate (3)-

Truth Bullets/Lie bullets

Iron Maiden/Locked Iron Maiden

Blood in the Library/Shifted Bookshelves

Rag/Clean Rag

Rock Pile/Undisturbed Rocks

 Tsukiko: I argue that both Kurosaki-sama and Sly-sama are the killers! If they committed the murder as I said, then they would equally as responsible for Shinko-sama’s death!

 Sly: I don’t like Kurosaki enough to work with him on something like this. Not to mention everything you just said is impossible.

 Karma: I don’t get what was so impossible. If you killed Toson at the history building, you could plant all the evidence later!

 Tsukiko: And with two people, you could fake the drag marks.

 Yuuki: What a theory!

 Sly: Like I said though, it’s impossible. After all, I was too occupied to have killed Shinko.

 Ryuu: (…both of them are hiding something. I don’t know why, but they must be working together…I gotta think of a way to find the truth of why they were at that building…)

I agree with that!

-

 “Sly-san, by ‘occupied’…the night of the murder, did you sustain an injury, by any chance?”

 “An injury? Be more specific. I’m an assassin, I’m covered in scars from fights.” Sly-san said.

 “An injury that would’ve produced the blood I found in the library. Something like that, perhaps? I was trying to figure out how it all fit in, but…let’s say there was in incident and you got injured somehow…”

 I’ll kill your theory!

-

“You’re an idiot.” Sly-san spat.

 “Is that really your whole argument?”

 “No incident happened. You’ve got nothing.”

 -Rebuttal Showdown Vs. Sly-

Truth Blades:

Blood in the Library

Bloody Book

ElectroID Entrance

Blank Motive Card

 Sly: You wanna claim that an incident, but can you prove when that blood in the library appeared? Better yet, can you prove it’s my blood? Kurosaki was allegedly in the building as well, so isn’t it just as possible that he’s the one that got injured doing something stupid, as usual.

 Ryuu: You stayed out of the investigation, saying you weren’t feeling up to moving about. If you got injured that night, then it makes sense why.

 Sly: Is that so? Maybe I just felt better watching the body…and that blood still doesn’t mean anything. It was the only blood…and it’s got no indication that it couldn’t have happened before the building became available to us.

 Ryuu: (There’s definitely a flaw in Sly-san’s argument. I’ll point it out and get to the bottom of this)

I’ll cut through that argument!

-

 “No, it wasn’t the only thing with blood. Underneath one of the tables in the library, there was a bloody book. A hardback book at that.”

 “…so what…? You’re saying I got assaulted with that book?” Sly-san raised an eyebrow.

 “I think it’s a possibility…if you were hit hard enough with the book, then it could explain the blood traces on the bookshelves.”

 “Then you’re also saying that Kurosaki is the one that attacked me, right…? After all, he was the only other person in that room according to your theory.”

 “Hmm? Couldn’t it have been the other way about? Maybe Sly-chan hit Yuuki-chan with the book?” Amaterasu-san suggested.

 “Nope. I did it.” Kurosaki-san said. Huh…? He’s…

 “Y…you’re admitting it?” I asked.

 “You’d figure it out eventually, after all, there’s evidence that I was the one who handled that book. The piece of evidence found alongside that blood book…” The evidence alongside it…? That was…

-

Here’s my proof!

-

“That book had a motive card inside of it…Kurosaki-san, are you trying to claim that motive card as your own?”

 “Indeed. I have an older brother who I care about very much. I’d hate it if anything ever happened to him!” Kurosaki-san smiled. His brother…that’s strange. After all…

-

My logic follows!

-

“But…that motive card was blank. How can you say that it was your card whilst claiming you were that close to your brother?”

 “Wouldn’t you say it’s more terrifying to have somebody’s name omitted from this motive…?” His expression suddenly darkened. “Before I entered Hope’s Peak, my brother Taro was perfectly fine…so to find that his name wasn’t on the motive card was just about the most haunting thing. I couldn’t help but theorise as to why his name wasn’t on the card…”

 “…when we spoke before, you told me you had the most dangerous motive out of everybody…did you mean it like that?” I asked.

 “Of course. What’s more terrifying…? One single name on the motive card…or having a blank card when someone you care about should be alive and healthy…?”

 “Ahhhh…that is pretty awful! I just don’t have anybody on the outside worth killing for, so I can’t imagine what your situation is like.” Graves-san said.

 “B-but…if Kurosaki-kun knocked out Sly-kun. That means he was the only one who was conscious in the building when Shinko-kun was there…d-does that mean…?” Kirishima-san twiddled with her thumbs as she spoke.

 “Kurosaki-sama. You killed Shinko-sama!” Ishikawa-san accused.

 “Oh~ Hohoho~ apologies, but Herr Shinko’s death had nothing to do with me! That scuffle me and Herr Knives got into just happened to occur today! You can tell he got injured after what he said at the start of the investigation. About staying at the crime scene because he wasn’t in a state to move about.” Kurosaki-san said.

 “You admit to injuring Sly-kun, but not to murdering Shinko-kun? And you expect us to believe that? You were the only one in the building at the time.” Yokozawa-san stated.

 “But don’t you understand…? If I was in the library at that time, there was no possibility for me to be the one to create the drag marks in the dirt, or to have dropped that rag in the storage room! My fight with Herr Knives is my alibi for the murder!”

 “You could have easily planted that evidence afterwards. Perhaps you were waiting for Shinko-sama to arrive after calling him out to the history building and Sly-sama interrupted that plan.” Ishikawa-san suggested.

 “Herr Shinko would have never gone to the history building just because somebody called him there. He was avoiding everyone, so he wouldn’t have gone along with such an obvious trap.” Kurosaki-san argued.

 “Then explain the fact that Sly-sama left before you!” Ah, I suppose it does say that.

 “Sly-san left…even though he was the one that got knocked out?” Kurohiko-san frowned.

 “Oh, that’s a simple one! I stole Herr Knives’ ElectroID whilst he was unconscious!” Kurosaki-san stuck his tongue out playfully.

 “You what?!” Sly-san growled. “I’m gonna kill you, I swear-“

 “Hey! No violence in the class trial! I swear, you kids are too gung-ho about killing!” Monokuma chastised.

 “I can prove it too!” Kurosaki-san held up the ElectroID that was in his pocket and showed Sly-san’s name when it turned on.

 “You really did take it then…” Yokozawa-san said. “Then…where does that leave us? It’s all so crazy, none of this makes sense…and yet…”

 “No, surely after all this, Kurosaki-sama must have been the killer! He was the only one in that building!” Ishikawa-san insisted.

 “But…that’s simply not his character at all.” Asano-san disagreed. “Kurosaki-kun is…confusing, unpredictable, and most certainly a danger to himself and others…however, killing Shinko-kun in such an awful way…I refuse to believe that Kurosaki-kun would do such a thing!”

 “All I can say is that after we fought, I simply went back to my room.”

-

What a messy situation!

-

“Huh? A standstill? Are you guys at a standstill now…? Well then, the only thing to do is really let you all duke it out here and now! Get ready for the trial morphing grounds!” Kurosaki-san trusted me with his defence…I can’t let him down at this point. I’ll believe in Kurosaki-san until the end!

 -Scrum Debate, Begin!-

"Should be believe Yuuki?"

"We Should Believe him!" - Ryuu, Yuuki, Kobo, Mami, Rina

"We Shouldn't Believe Him!" - Sly, Junpei, Tsukiko, Doi, Amaterasu, Karma

 Doi: Even after all this evidence, you wanna say that Kurosaki-san isn’t the killer?!

(Asano-san!)

Mami: The evidence also shows that it would have been impossible for Kurosaki-san to be the killer.

 Karma: He waited for Toson in the history building but Sly interrupted that plan!

(Kurosaki-san!)

Yuuki: Non, non! There is not a chance that Herr Shinko would have come to the history building without a very important reason.

 Amaterasu: Couldn’t Yuuki-chan have planted all the evidence we found after he killed Toson-chan?

(I’ll deal with this!)

Ryuu: Kurosaki-san isn’t the only person who could’ve planted that evidence afterwards.

 Tsukiko: The card reader records clearly show that Kurosaki-sama used his ElectroID to leave the building after Sly-sama, despite Sly-sama being knocked out!

(Okanaya-kun!)

Kobo: Kurosaki already showed us that he switched around their ElectroIDs, don’t start forgetting shit!

 Junpei: Kurosaki-kun’s the most dangerous person here, it’s not hard to believe that he’d kill someone so brutally.

(Kirishima-san!)

Rina: No…dangerous or not, Kurosaki-kun isn’t a killer! I believe that wholeheartedly!

 Sly: You’re all being fooled. He had motive, means and opportunity. He attacked me! He’s the killer!

(Kurosaki-san!)

Yuuki: You’re wrong. The killer is fooling us all, and I intend to prove that in this trial!

“This is our answer!”

-

 “…as I said before. I am not the killer. I won’t allow you all to die because of the killer’s trap.” Kurosaki-san said.

 “E…even if you say that…how are you intending to do that? We still don’t know anything about this whole murder plan…it’s like there’s no concrete at all.” Yokozawa-san frowned.

 “I disagree. Let us look at the facts. Herr Shinko clearly wouldn’t have left his room for anybody, oui? Ergo, he must’ve been ambushed in the storage room. Let’s roll with that theory for now and see where it takes us.” Kurosaki-san suggested.

 “Right. The rag that was doused with chloroform…which means the killer came up behind Shinko-kun and took him by surprise.” Kirishima-san said.

 “And off we go! Here’s the beginning of our journey to discovering the killer!”

 -Non-stop Debate (4)-

Truth Bullets/Lie Bullets

Rag/Clean Rag

Drag Marks in the dirt/Undisturbed Dirt

Dented Shelf/Food Shelf

Yokozawa-san’s Account/Yokozawa-san’s Mistake

Loose Bar/Iron Bars

 Yuuki: Now that we’re in agreement, let’s go over the events as if Herr Shink were ambushed within the storage room.

 Junpei: Nagata-kun already showed enough evidence to say that Shinko-kun went to get food for himself. That was when the killer ambushed him.

 Mami: When the killer ambushed Shinko-kun, they used a rag with chloroform on it…

 Doi: And Shinko-san went down without a fight.

 Mami: Then, the killer began to drag Shinko-kun’s body over to the history building.

 Yuuki: We never decided if he woke up or not, but either way, Herr Shinko’s ElectroID is used at the card reader.

 Amaterasu: The killer then managed to get Toson-chan into the torture exhibit…and they pushed him into the iron maiden.

 Kobo: Awful way to go…

 Ryuu: (This is a general gist of what could have happened…I need to see if anything contradicts with the evidence…)

No, that’s wrong!

-

 “Kurohiko-san, I don’t think Shinko-san went down without a fight. That seems really improbable, actually.”

 “Is this about the shelf?” Yokozawa-san asked.

 “Yeah.”

 “Basically, there was a dented shelf in the storage room that had appeared sometime last night. Based on the distance between that shelf and the floor, I figured it was probably caused by someone at least 6 foot hitting their elbow into it.” Yokozawa-san explained.

 “You were able to tell all that just from looking at the damage?” Asano-san tilted her head.

 “It’s cause Junpei-chan has no social life.” Amaterasu-san said.

 “Ah, I see. I too know a lot of general facts because of my restricted personal life.”

 “Please don’t compare our situations…” Yokozawa-san sighed, rubbing his temples, “anyway, it’s not as simple as who’s 6 feet tall. It’s also possible that Shinko-kun picked the killer up during a fight and the killer caused that during the struggle.”

 “So, it doesn’t actually narrow anything down. That’s unfortunate.” Ishikawa-san said.

 “No. That’s it. That finally puts the nail in the coffin that was necessary for a solid accusation against our killer. Merci, Yokozawa-kyun!” Kurosaki-san clapped.

 “K…’kyun’?!” Yokozawa-san blushed a little.

 “Ugh…finally.” Sly-san let out a sigh of relief, “You were really starting to get on my nerves, I never thought it would work out.”

 “Wh…huh?” Okanaya-kun tilted his head.

 “Sorry, sorry! I should apologise to all of you for taking you on that ride earlier, but it was necessary to get to this point! You see, Herr Knives and I…kind of acted out everything before in order to draw suspicion to the real killer.” Kurosaki-san said. What? What is he talking about?

 “What, like…you two were working together?” Graves-san asked.

 “This guy called me a few nights ago detailing that a certain someone was planning a murder. I didn’t really believe it, but…I guess I couldn’t chance it. Don’t get it twisted, I still don’t trust him. He’s a slimy bastard through-and-through.” Sly-san said.

 “Then why help him…?” Kurohiko-san asked.

 Sly-san twirled his chain around his finger, “…cause he knows stuff. That’s all I can really say about it. So, we staged a fight in front of the main bulk of the group. Figured nobody would bother us and we could figure out what to do in secret.”

 “You two faked that whole thing?!” Okanaya-kun said, “The fuck…if you thought a murder was gonna occur, why didn’t you stop it?!”

 “If we tried to stop it, we would have ended up victims instead. That was a guarantee. Either way, someone was going to die.” Kurosaki-san said.

 “How can you know that?!” Okanaya-kun growled.

 “He just can…I don’t like it, but…” Sly-san shook his head, “the point is, the killer’s messed up. What Yokozawa just said outs them as the killer.”

 “R-really…? You’re saying I helped out…?” Yokozawa-san was clearly trying to stop himself from smiling, “I m-mean…of course! You guys would be lost without me, right?! You should all be thanking me!”

 “What a tool.” Amaterasu-san said.

 “Nagata-kyun, you’ve realised it by, surely? Someone has been acting very suspicious ever since this morning. Not to mention that Herr Shinko being in a fight directly contradicts something you’ve heard before.” Kurosaki-san nodded to me. Yeah…I figured it out while they were talking. The killer…the one that killed Shinko-san like that, is…

-

The culprit…is you!

-

 “…Tsukiko Ishikawa.” The name caused a void in the room. Everybody’s eyes swiftly shifted towards the silent girl who stared at the whole group with vacant emotionless eyes, no smile or frown on her face. No sign of surprise or expectancy. “…I remember. In your autopsy report, you said there were no signs of a struggle on Shinko-san’s body. But, the dent on that shelf shows that he definitely fought with his killer. It’s a direct contradiction with what you told me! What do you have to say?!”

 “…Nagata-sama, come now. Is this a joke.” Ishikawa-san put a gloved hand over her mouth, suppressing the urge to laugh, “because of an error in my autopsy, I’m now a suspect? That’s completely absurd.”

 “But it’s not. Ever since this morning, you’ve been acting…cold. Almost on edge…I didn’t think much of it, that maybe being in here was just getting to you…but the murder was on your mind. You were acting differently without meaning to.”

 “…the issue here is with the autopsy, yes? That can be easily explained. If you will allow me to speak…?”

 “Go right ahead. We’ll reach the truth one way or another.” Sly-san said. Ishikawa-san’s brow furrowed.

 “Insolence.” She said.

 -Non-Stop Debate (5)-

Truth Bullets/Lie Bullets

Ishikawa-san’s Autopsy/Ishikawa-san’s Mistake

Loose Bar/Iron Bars

Monokuma File 3/Monokuma’s Mistake 3

Dented Shelf/Food Shelf

Iron Maiden/Locked Iron Maiden

 Tsukiko: There is absolutely no issue with me getting something wrong in my autopsy report. After all, I am not a forensics expert.

 Sly: Despite the fact that your field of expertise is dead bodies?

 Tsukiko: Be that as it may, even a professional mortician would have had trouble. Shinko-sama’s body was in an iron maiden. Ergo, holes were all over his body. I messed up the autopsy because of the holes in his arms. Nothing more.

 Yuuki: Ah…you really think it’s so simple. You can’t run away from the truth.

 Tsukiko: You’re a fool. You have no proof I was there other than circumstantial evidence.

 Ryuu: (Ishikawa-san…it’s hard to believe, but this seems to be the way Kurosaki-san and Sly-san were pushing the argument.)

No, that’s wrong!

-

 “Ishikawa-san, did you really think that would work?”

 She said nothing.

 “If you look at the Monokuma file, on the page where it shows the placement of Shinko-san’s injuries…you can clearly see that his arms didn’t sustain any injuries at all! There were no injuries to obstruct you from seeing signs of a struggle on his arms!”

 “And? There were no signs of a struggle on his arms. If there was a struggle, then he would have gotten injured elsewhere.” Ishikawa-san said.

 “Now you’re changing your story. Not looking good for you.” Kurosaki-san taunted.

 Ishikawa-san clicked her tongue. “Isn’t it early to accuse anybody? We barely have a picture of what transpired last night. All we know is that Shinko-sama was ambushed in the storage room, and because of a mix-up in my autopsy, I’m the killer? I think not!”

 “…fine. We’ll do it your way. Let’s figure out the rest of the events and show that Mademoiselle Ishikawa is the only person that could have done it!” Kurosaki-san said.

 “Then we should discuss the time of death. We still haven’t settled on when it took place.” Amaterasu-san said.

 “Yuuki should know, right? After all, the killer arrived at the history building with Toson’s unconscious body right before he left the history building!” Graves-san said.

 “Hmm…Herr Knives arrived around 12:30am. Then at some point the killer arrived. Herr Knives and I staged our fight and I left at around, say…12:40am. In that 10-minute time frame is when the killer arrived.”

 “It takes about two or three minutes to walk from the dorm building to the history building, but with dragging Shinko’s body…the killer probably would have taken double that. So, let’s say it took them five minutes.” Sly-san decided.

 The time of death definitely took place sometime after that 10-minute period between when Sly-san arrived, and Kurosaki-san left. If we can figure out when, maybe it’ll prove Ishikawa-san’s the killer…!

 -Non-Stop Debate (6)-

Truth Bullets/Lie Bullets

Window Frame/Missing Windowpane

Crashing Noise/Silent Night

Bloody Book/Regular Book

ElectroID Entrance/Tampered Card Reader

Exhibit List/Unfinished Exhibit List

 Karma: So, the killer definitely arrived at the history building between 12:30am…and 12:40am.

 Rina: Then they must have taken a certain time to get the body all the way up to the third floor. Ah…that must have been really challenging.

 Kobo: Depending on their strength, it could take up to 20 minutes for the killer to reach the torture exhibit.

 Rina: The problem is that there was no evidence discovered in the history building that could point us to the time of death.

 Junpei: Does it need to be the time of death…? Can’t we even estimate a timeframe?

 Amaterasu: It was probably after Yuuki-chan left the building. So, definitely after 12:40am.

 Kobo: But we have no idea when the killer left!

 Junpei: Surely not too soon after?

 Ryuu: (Establishing the time of death could help us discover the killer…I wonder is there any way to figure it out…?)

No, that’s wrong!

-

 “No, we do have an idea of when the killer left the building! That night, Okanaya-kun, Kirishima-san, and me were all out on the field when we all heard a crashing noise come from the leisure building. When we investigated, we found a broken window on the side that faced the history building.”

 “Huh…? You sayin’ that was caused by the killer?” Okanaya-kun asked.

 “Yeah, I’m sure of it. That crash happened somewhere between 1am and 1:30am, we weren’t keeping track of the time so we can’t make anything definite.” I said.

 “No, that’s fine. Kurosaki said he left the building around 12:40 and dragging the body from the 1st floor to the 3rd floor and then putting it into the iron maiden would probably take about 20 minutes, so it fits in with the time frame.” Sly-san said.

 “Preposterous.” Ishikawa-san said.

 “Oh? Why’s that?” Kurosaki-san smiled.

 “Do I really need to point out the obvious? The killer was in the history building, but the broken window was at the leisure building. How on earth would the killer manage that?”

 “…I don’t think that would be much of a problem in this case. You could probably hit the leisure building from the history building if you used…”

-

My logic follows!

-

“…the catapults at the top of the towers on the history building.” I concluded.

 “Oh yeah, if you used those catapults then you could definitely hit the leisure building window from the history building. So…the killer probably saw Ryuu-chan, Kobo-chan, and Rina-chan all out on the field and used the catapults to distract them for long enough to get back to the dorms without being seen.” Amaterasu-san said.

 “And there’s even evidence of the catapults being used, right Nagata?!” Okanaya-kun grinned. Ah…yeah, he’s right actually.

-

Here’s my proof!

-

 “It’s as Okanaya-kun said. There was a large collection of rocks underneath the broken window, and when I went to check the weapons exhibit today, the pile of rocks in there had been disturbed and were lying around on the floor. The killer most likely used those rocks and loaded them into the catapult.”

 “They didn’t clean it up…? That’s pretty unusual.” Yokozawa-san noted.

 “The killer was in a rush. They didn’t know how long that distraction would give them, so they had to get to the dorms as quickly as possible.” Asano-san took a moment to put the sequence of events together in her head, “yes, most likely…the killer launched the rocks, sprinted down the stairs and left the history building-“

 You’ve dug your own grave!!

-

“That’s impossible!!” Ishikawa-san suddenly yelled.

 “H-huh…?”

 Ishikawa-san took a moment and returned to her usual demeanour, “Ahem…what I mean is…the killer never shows up on the card reader records after Shinko-sama enters the building, correct? Or rather…it’s impossible to leave the building without showing up on the card reader. So that must mean the ones who show up on the card reader are the killers!”

 “You’re gonna throw the blame on Kurosaki-san and Sly-san again?!”

 “I believe the shoe has fit for a while. I will end this farce here and now!”

-

-Rebuttal Showdown Vs Tsukiko Ishikawa-

Truth Blades:

Iron Maiden

Exhibit List

ElectroID Entrance

Crashing Noise

Broken Window

Rock Pile

Loose Bar

Window Frame

 Tsukiko: To leave the building, you are required to scan your ElectroID at the door, there is no other way out of the building! If we are to follow that very simple logic, whoever shows up on the card reader must be the true culprit!

 Ryuu: That doesn’t account for all the logs on the records! Kurosaki-san and Sly-san both entered before Shinko-san arrived and didn’t leave until after he got there! What’s your explanation for that?

 Tsukiko: It is obvious. Shinko-sama went to the history building after all! Either Kurosaki-sama or Sly-sama ambushed and killed him! To think that you would all accuse me when the truth is as clear as day…

 Ryuu: (The further we go, the more agitated Ishikawa-san becomes…I’m convinced now that we’re on the right track…)

I’ll cut through that argument!

-

 “You’re wrong! There is another way out of the history building other than the ID entrance. Kirishima-san was investigating the ground floor and stumbled upon something really interesting; one of the bars on the windows was loose and could be removed pretty easily.”

 “Ah, yeah! I totally forgot about that! With the space between the bars, taking one out means anyone could have slipped through the gap!” Kirishima-san said.

 “Ishikawa-san, you objected because you knew that fact already. You thought if you threw off the argument now that we’d direct our attention back to Kurosaki-san and Sly-san, but it won’t work.”

 “So, what if the bar comes out? That doesn’t mean the killer actually used that route to leave the building!”

 No…she’s wrong, there’s evidence of the killer using that window!

-

Here’s my proof!

-

“There were scuff marks on that window frame as if something metal was scratching against the stone. Ishikawa-san…those buckles on your boots are metal, aren’t they?” I waited for a response, but Ishikawa-san remained silent, glaring intensely at me. “If you crawled out of the window, your boot buckles would have scraped against the stone which would explain those scuff marks that were found!”

 “You…” Ishikawa-san’s voice began to sound venomous.

 “God, this talk about the ID gate is really confusing me…hey, Nagata-kun, how do you even know about all these gate records anyway?” Yokozawa-san asked.

 “Monokuma gave us a sheet of paper with the record of the last 24 hours. I was supposed to share it with everyone cause it’s the only copy, but…I kinda forgot.” No, Kurosaki-san told me to keep to myself.

 “That’s weird…” Okanaya-kun murmured. Huh? What’s weird. “You didn’t show the records to anyone…?”

 “Only to Kurosaki-san, but that’s because he was with me when I got them.” I said. Okanaya-kun only frowned further. Something is weird about all this…what’s weird about this…?

-

My logic follows!

-

“…ah! Ishikawa-san knows about the ElectroID records!”

 “Wh-“

 “Actually…ever since the start of the trial, she’s been talking about the ID records as if she’s seen them, but if Nagata-kun is the only person with a copy then how-“

 “I have seen the records.” Ishikawa-san cut Asano-san off. “When I was performing my autopsy, I asked Monokuma-sama to bring me the card reader records because I believed it would lead to the killer. However, I returned the paper to Monokuma-sama once I read it. That is why Nagata-sama ended up with the records.”

 “But wasn’t Sly-chan in the room with you?” Amaterasu-san asked.

 “Not the whole time. Due to the head injury and the stench of blood, I had to leave the room for five minutes to get some air. I guess it’s possible in that time, Ishikawa asked for the card reader records. I hate giving it to her, but this is one thing we can’t disprove.”

 “Even so, pile it on with everything else…it’s more likely that she knew Sly and Yuuki were in the building because she saw them, right? She got there right after Sly arrived so she might have spotted him, and she hid from Yuuki after she got there.” Graves-san pointed out.

 “It’s all circumstantial! You’ve still yet to show any solid proof of me being in that building, let alone killing Shinko-sama! I’m really getting fed up with all these baseless accusations! I apologise for my mistake with the autopsy report, but we’re all guaranteed to faulter at some point, so just move on!”

 “We can’t do that. After all, Mademoiselle…you’re the killer.”

 “ENOUGH!!!” Ishikawa-san snapped, slamming her hands on her podium. “I’m sick of this! Sick of it all! Who are you to get on your high horse and accuse everyone?! If anybody in this group is suspicious it is you!! You’ve really pushed me to my limit!”

 “…Nagata-kyun.”

 “Is this the end argument…?”

 “I believe so.” Kurosaki-san nodded.

 “Then…I’ll take it head on. I’ll give you your proof and show you that you were present at the history building!”

 “You insolent boy…! You have no respect for your peers, I will prove you all wrong right here and now!!”

-

-Argument Armament vs Tsukiko Ishikawa-

 Tsukiko: All you have given to say I am the killer is circumstantial evidence! You’re all putting blind faith in baseless theories provided by Kurosaki-sama without showing any concrete proof and I refuse to stand for it!

 Tsukiko: I would never kill Shinko-sama! As a thanatologist, I have too much respect and value for life that to take away life would be a sin for me to do! You all truly believe that I would betray my own occupation for a chance to escape?! Preposterous!

 Tsukiko: The killer is Kurosaki-sama, or Sly-sama, or both! You have all been fooled by their craftiness! I will not allow them to pin all of their crimes on me! Stage a fight?! Predict a murder?! Who would believe such foolish nonsense?! You’re all smarter than that!

 Ryuu: This is the end!

 Tsukiko: Where is the proof, I was in the history building?!

In the rock pile!

-

 “I have it. Your proof that you wanted so desperately. In that rock pile that hit the window, there was something else mixed in there…a piece of black fabric. Ishikawa-san…I wonder, could that piece of fabric come from you…?”

 “I’m suddenly the only person that wears black?”

 “No, obviously not…but when launching the catapult, I wonder…is it possible your glove got caught on the catapult and tore when it launched? Or maybe it tore when you were carrying the rocks…? If we collected that fabric, would it be the same kind of fabric as your gloves…?”

“What kind of fabric are your gloves, Mademoiselle? Silk? I think you’d be the only person here that wears silk.” Kurosaki-san chimed in.

 “Th…that’s…” Ishikawa-san looked lost for the first time since she started to argue. “I…can explain-“

 “Ishikawa-san. Please…” Asano-san spoke softly. “It hurts to even accuse you, but seeing you argue like this hurts me even more. You must understand that there are no more arguments now that Nagata-kun has placed you at the history building.”

 “And as the one that pulled the lever on the catapults.” Graves-san added.

 “And left scuff marks on the window frame.” Kurohiko-san followed.

 “And with nobody there to back you up. Yuuki-chan and Sly-chan already said they were there together.” Amaterasu-san said.

 “Not to mention, I’ll gladly show everyone my wardrobe. None of my black clothing is damaged in any way.” Sly-san said.

 “Also, since you dropped the rags, you had your gloves to use for a replacement rag if Shinko woke up again.” Okanaya-kun said.

 “I…I…” Ishikawa-san’s clenched fists relaxed, her eyes exhausted, “…concede.”

 “…then let’s wrap this up. We’ll go from the start of the case and finish this for good.”

This is the truth of the incident!

-

Act 1

For the killer to guarantee that their plan worked, they needed to pick a victim that would be easy to ambush. Luckily, their observations allowed them to learn that our victim, Shinko-san, would go to the storage room at night to get cutlery for his food. It was the perfect opportunity, despite Shinko-san doing everything he could in order to avoid being killed. The night of the murder, the killer snuck up on Shinko-san and attempted to drug him by using a chloroform-soaked rag, however he fought back and in the ensuing fight before he passed out, he dented the food shelf.

Act 2

Next the killer began to drag his body over to the history building. Usually this would be hard for any normal person, but our killer was experienced in handling bodies. When they got to the history building they used Shinko-san's electroID to get inside and went to the ancient torture exhibit after hiding from Kurosaki-san who was leaving around the same time they arrived and then...they threw his body into the iron maiden and closed it over. I'm not sure if Shinko-san died whilst unconscious, frankly, I don't want to consider the idea that he regained consciousness.

Act 3

The killer then went to leave the building but spotted myself, Okanaya-kun, and Kirishima-san sitting outside at the fountain and realised they couldn't get back to the dorms without being seen, so they made an on-the-spot plan. They took a pile of rocks from the torture exhibit and loaded them onto a catapult at the top of the tower and aimed it at the leisure building. The released the catapult and began sprinting down the stairs, not realising a piece of their glove tore on the catapult.

Act 4

The rocks hit the windows of the leisure building, alerting myself, Okanaya-kun, and Kirishima-san and causing us to go and investigate. That's the opportunity the killer had to climb out of the window, to avoid using the electroID lock on the front door, scuffing the window frame as they did and ran back to the dorm building. All they had to do from there was wait until the next morning and discover the body and lie in the autopsy report.

 And the person who did all of this...was you, right?! Tsukiko Ishikawa, the Ultimate Thanatologist!

-

 “…I see. I…truly underestimated you, Nagata-sama…Kurosaki-sama.” Ishikawa-san giggled as if everything was normal. “I…thought that as long as I left no trace of myself, I could win. Then Nagata-sama, Kirishima-sama, and Okanaya-sama turned up and…I slipped up.”

 “Ishikawa-san…”

 “I did my best to fight it. I’ve abused my second chance at life…I’ll accept my fate now, it is alright.” She smiled politely, “apologies for my behaviour.”

 “…that’s gotta be the politest confession we’ve ever gotten!” Monokuma sprung to life. “Well, you all know the score by now! On your podiums are buttons of all the participants, it’s time to vote for who you all think is the killer! Will you pick the right person, or the dreadfully wrong person? Who’s it gonna be…? What’s it gonna be?!”

 We all locked in our votes and the roulette wheel started to spin around before eventually landing on Ishikawa-san’s face. The bouquets of flowers and coins showered out from the machine to celebrate the end of the voting.

 The third class trial had ended.

[apprentice-nylah]

Okay I’ve had a bit of time to digest Nadia’s complete route...

My thoughts are kind of fragmented since I wrote a bunch of posts about individual books. So this isn’t necessarily about any single things (with a few exceptions), more like an overall thought about how everything went down, presented in the form of a bulleted list. (Also these are my personal thoughts. Not trying to convince anyone of anything. But I also enjoy sharing).

- The biggest thing to me that I don’t think everyone either understands or chooses to ignore is that both the reversed and upright ending for Nadia are in character for her. I know I’m beating a dead horse to everyone who actually reads my posts about it, but I think it’s important. Neither ending is OOC for her, really. You might have opinions on Nadia in general or have a dislike of the way things turned out. But there’s a popular post in fandom that is something along the lines of “There’s a difference between bad writing and narratives that you didn’t like.” There’s a lot of criticize about Nadia and her route. Don’t get me wrong. It’s not perfect and I’m not trying to say it is. But this one particular thing I don’t think is the thing that’s wrong. The whole game is developing your apprentice and their relationship with your chosen love interest. It makes complete sense that depending on the choices you make in how you interact with your love interest, that they would develop into completely different people. Nadia in her upright ending is someone that the apprentice has changed from day one. The choices you have to make (in the extreme sense, not just picking slightly more “upright choices” than “reversed choices,” doesn’t count), turns Nadia into a person who values her family more, sees the apprentice as an equal and recognizes she’s not always right. Whereas the choices you have to make to get a reverse ending, the apprentice encourages Nadia to isolate herself, see the apprentice as a possession, and believe only she understands what needs to be done. You can criticize her characterization if you don’t like it, but I wouldn’t say it’s “bad writing”.

- That said, at times, Nadia’s route did seem the weakest of the three (this is coming from someone who really hasn’t played much of Julian or Asra. Rather gotten context from Tumblr and the fandom. And has played a handful of their books). Nadia is my vice, I acknowledge that. I like the kind of person she can be. I like a powerful woman. But comparatively, it seemed like at times she was not developed (character wise) as much as Asra and Julian. However, this could be fandom bias as Nadia seems to be the least popular of the main three.

- One thing I really did dislike was the reverse ending, making the Devil literally stupid. He’s this villain character they’ve built up for so much of the route and somehow he was stupid enough to give Nadia the power to defeat him, remove his heart. That just takes a huge amount of suspension of disbelief for me. He’s theoretically supposed to be this all powerful being, plays the long game, schemes and considers every outcome. And I’m not trying to belittle Nadia’s ability to trick him, rather criticizing how easily the Devil was defeated in this manner. That said, I can understand the thought process they went through to get here. In both endings, the Devil is an individual that is arrogant and thinks very lowly of humans. He obviously believes they’re incapable of anything meaningful. Hence why in the upright ending, he was surprised that the apprentice and Nadia were able to free themselves from his bonds and subsequently able to bind him. The same thought process gets us to the point where he underestimates Nadia’s will and shrewdness and doesn’t think she’ll kill him. Or rather that she even has the ability to kill him. Ultimately, I understand the logic behind the decision, but emotionally when I’m playing through the reversed ending, this particular part of it seems really empty.

- Portia has a crush on Nahara and no one can convince me otherwise.

- I wish they had explored Nadia and Lucio’s relationship a bit more than they did. Obviously, they shouldn’t be sidelining the relationship between Nadia and the apprentice in favor of Nadia’s failed marriage, but I think getting context to the nature of their relationship would have gone a long way to understanding both characters more. They obviously touched upon it towards the end of the route, specifically in the Hirophant’s realm, but getting a bit more of that context earlier in the game and then adding a bit more, I think would have been good. Especially as they’ve really done a good job of alienating a bunch of people off of Lucio in general, and given he’ll be a love interest at some point, it doesn’t really incentivize more people to play his route. Whereas you look at Portia and Muriel, I think playing through the main three, a random individual would be more interested in playing their routes from their roles in the routes of the main three.

- Similarly, I wished we could have gotten a bit more of Nadia’s relationship with Julian and Asra as well, but I understand that as they are the other two parts of the main three, you’d be hesitant to include them more in other people’s routes.

- Whilst I have some criticisms of Nadia’s route, I do have far more positive thoughts than negative ones. One thing I very much appreciated was that Prakra was a female dominated area. But yet Namar wasn’t a belittled or minor player. He was simply different from our stereotypical visualization of a male in a kingdom. It makes me want to get a tale or something of life is like in Prakra.

- Overall I very much enjoyed Nadia’s route. As far as an individual love interest, she’s probably one of my favorites from any game, not just the Arcana. I can definitely understand why people might not like her, but personally, I enjoy her very much.

- I still have gripes with Nyx Hydra as a company, to be honest, as well as having thoughts™ about all the discourse around a few of the individuals in the company, but that said, it’s also very difficult to find a good otome game that I connect with like this one.

- If any one has specific questions or stuff they want to share with me, please do. Inbox is always open.

[alittledizzy]

in the strangest locations rating: pg word count: 3k Summary: Dan's first week on the job. (A prequel to Celebration.) Notes: Written for @waveydnp for my thirty minute fics for charity fundraiser to benefit PhandomGives. 

[read on ao3]

The basement office smells of stale air and weirdly sweet, like the smell of Dan's grandmother's car when he'd leave a bag of sweets open in the summertime and they'd all melt together into a sticky sugar lump.

"Hello?" Dan calls out. His heart is tap-tap-tapping fast in his chest, the queasy beat of anxiety he can't shake in situations like this. His whole life so far has been about pushing past and working around this feeling, trying not to let it defeat him. It's the voice in the back of his mind and the sweat underneath his collar and the butterflies in his stomach. He's wondering if maybe this is the wrong office after all, or maybe it's the right office but his new partner isn't around, or maybe he-

"Oh, hi! You must be Dan!" A person pops out from behind a closed doorway. He's wearing a suit but there's a stain on his tie and one leg of his pants are rucked up enough that Dan can see a bright green sock, definitely not bureau standard. "Howell, I mean. Dan Howell?"

"Yeah," Dan says, holding out a hand. "And you're Lester?"

"Call me Phil," his new partner says, and closes Dan's fingers in the grip of his own. "It's nice to finally meet you."

*

Phil Lester is also British.

Dan had known that going in. He'd read Lester's - Phil's - file and then done what any millennial worth his salt does, and googled the fuck out of him. He knows where he's from and that he's got dual citizenship and that he likes leaving sometimes scathing hotel reviews.

He knows that Phil's last partner requested a transfer away from him, but the part of the file that listed why had been redacted. He's intensely curious; was being stuck with someone fresh out of Quantico a punishment for Phil?

Or was it a test for Dan?

If it was, he's not really sure what it's mean to accomplish because he's known Phil Lester for all of a day and all he has to show for it is a full belly - Phil values his lunch break and also values company while he takes it - and a growing sense of admiration for a man who seems to have been given the total shit end of the stick in terms of bureau assignments and still seems happy as a fucking clam about it.

*

It only takes two days for reality to settle in, consequently the same amount of time it takes for them to be given their first assignment as partners.

"We got a case!" Phil seems elated. "And I think this one got sent down to us especially for you?"

He slides Dan a folder. Dan picks it up and flips through it. "Phishing? We're investigating... an email fraud scam?"

"Yep." Phil still looks far too delighted. Dan doesn't get it. "Pacific Northwest. Oregon, I think?"

"Yeah," Dan mutters a confirmation, still skimming the file. "I don't get it. Shouldn't this be easy to shut down? This looks like your average Nigerian prince bullshit."

Phil shakes his head. "Keep reading."

Dan can feel his own brow wrinkling in confusing the more he gets into the file. "What?" He mutters, then a few seconds later more loudly, "What?"

"Yep." Phil grins. "It's fun, isn't it?"

"I mean, not if you're one of the people getting ripped off, but... how are they doing this?" Dan flips back to the start to see if he missed anything. "How did manage to phish seventeen high ranking cyber crimes assigned agents?"

Phil shrugs. "That's what we're supposed to figure out."

*

"So why us?" Dan asks, clipping the buckle of the airplane seatbelt together.

They're in economy. He's not sure why he's disappointed. When Phil said they were flying out that evening he'd pictured in his head some kind of Mission Impossible scene where they donned full suits and strode into business class wearing their sunglasses.

Instead Phil's in jeans and a hoodie and Dan feels overdressed in the button up and the same trousers he wore to the office.

"Because we won't be targets," Phil says. "I've not had any cyber crimes cases, and you're brand new so no one's going to have heard of you. The last three agents they put on the case of this guy all had their security breached before they checked into the motel in Oregon. They think we'll be able to go undetected. We're not technically undercover. We're just - not... overcover? Either? So... you might want to dress a bit less..."

Phil seems to flounder for a word.

"No worries," Dan says, face going hot as he feels every bit of his comparative youth and inexperience. "I brought some stuff."

*

He didn't actually bring some stuff.

He sits on the edge of his motel bed, staring at a stain on the carpet.

("Not much of a budget of us, I'm afraid," Phil had said, standing in the lobby area. It's an open plan, two long flat buildings parallel with doors all facing open air.

Everything about it feels seedy and cheap. It's not even properly in town, it's on the fringes where things begin to look a bit worn down.)

He's not sure what the protocol is now. Phil said goodbye to him in the car park, but - what happens next?

It's only half six. Does he get dinner on his own?

Does he meet back up with Phil tomorrow?

Is he meant to be doing something with the case file?

Why hadn't he fucking asked?

He has the strange urge to ring his mum just to hear a familiar voice, but he refuses to be the person who needs his mum to tell him that it's alright on his first week of being an actual employed theoretically functional career adult.

He could go get some clothes so he doesn't look like an idiot when he and Phil meet back up. He's got the keys to the rental car - which Phil, for some reason, put entire trust and faith in Dan to drive even though Dan's only six months past being old enough to legally hire a car to begin with. But what if Phil looks outside and sees the car gone? Should he just take an Uber instead, or call for a taxi? But then what if Phil came to his room and Dan wasn't there but the car was? What if Phil saw him being picked up, or dropped back off? What if-

He stands and starts to pace around the room. His heart is hammering too fast and he's got that queasy-sweaty feeling that he gets when everything starts to become just a bit too much.

He jumps at the knock on his door. When he opens it, Phil's standing there - still in the same soft looking hoodie with his hair pushed back off his forehead and glasses on, and fuzzy pajama pants from the waist down. "I can't believe it but we forgot to exchange mobile numbers. Also, do you fancy a pizza?"

"Pizza?" Dan asks.

Phil's smile falters a bit. "Unless you just wanted to do dinner on your own. I just thought-"

"No, pizza's good," Dan quickly says. "We could... talk about the case, too?"

They hadn't on the plane, of course. Sensitive, classified material.

Dan assumes.

"Great!" Phil says, shooting Dan one of those bright smiles. "I'll be back in a few minutes."

*

Dan changes into his own pajamas quickly before Phil comes back.

He can't be sure, having never actually had a partner before, but he's fairly sure pajama pizza parties aren't standard operating protocol on assignments.

But then Phil is sat cross-legged on the full sized bed chewing on what appears to be half a slice of pizza he just shoved into his mouth in one bite. "Sorry," he says, looking sheepish when he sees Dan staring. "I was really hungry, and this pizza's good."

It is good, actually, and if Dan can just relax for five goddamn seconds he might enjoy it. Instead his body feels full of jittery energy still. He folds one foot underneath him while the other rests on the floor, foot tap-tap-tapping away.

Phil pulls out the case files after a few minutes. There's not that much to talk about; they're here to monitor the situation and close in on the suspect once the bureau can get a lock on him.

"They wanted you," Phil says again, sounding almost proud.

Dan's not sure why that makes him feel so nice. "Why?"

"Your computer background," Phil says. "You specialized in profiling hackers, didn't you?"

"I specialized in whatever meant I got to spend most of my time alone," Dan says.

It's a bit of unintentional honesty, but it makes Phil laugh so he doesn't think it's that bad.

"What about you?" Dan asks, taking a bold step forward into casual conversation territory. "What's your specialty?"

"Linguistics," Phil says. "But I don't do much with it. Translations sometimes, but I'm sort of... I get the cases no one else wants."

"Like what?" Dan asks, settling back against the headboard.

"I had to investigate a comedian last year," Phil says. "Because someone reported one of his stand up bits. I had to track him for six months."

"Was he funny?" Dan asks.

Phil shakes his head. "Dead boring. All his jobs were about like, sleeping with women and disappointing his mum and sport."

"Not a fan of sport?" Dan asks.

"Or disappointing my mum," Phil says. "She gave birth to me, why would I want to call her stupid in front of people? Also she's not stupid. She probably heard me say that, using her mum senses. I wouldn't call you stupid, mum.."

Dan laughs. "I don't think she can hear you, but I believe you."

He thinks about the third thing Phil said the comedian talked about, and how Phil hadn't mentioned that at all.

But Phil's probably into women. Most guys are into women. Dan's really got to learn how to stop trying to project non-straightness on every man that talks to him for more than three seconds.

Especially his new partner at this job that, if all goes well, he'll be at for a very long time.

*

The rain starts around midnight.

Phil's been gone for an hour, the pizza demolished and the case discussed and almost another hour of random conversation layered on top of and in between the two.

It was nice. Like - proper nice, in a way Dan hadn't expected.

Phil's funny, and kind, and talking to him already makes Dan feel less scared.

The rain can fuck off, though. It's pounding against the windows, only drowned out every few minutes by massive cracks of thunder.

He can't take his eyes off the silhouette of trees across the way when the lightning strikes to accompany it. Framed by tall trees and threatening clouds, it looks like the setting of a horror movie out.

He hates storms at night. He won't sleep much, he already knows. He keeps the light turned on and his laptop up, distracting himself with music until he can't focus anymore and then watching youtube videos of fluffy animals.

It's fine - it's working. He'll be exhausted the next day, but he lives half his life deprived of adequate sleep. Adrenaline will save the day. It's fine, he's fine.

And then the power goes out.

*

He's shivering in front of Phil's hotel room, soaking wet from the dash across the half-full parking lot.

He doesn't even know what he's going to say when Phil answers.

That he's a fucking child and he's afraid of the dark?

He should just pack his shit up right now, go back home and tell everyone he couldn't do it. None of them thought he'd really be able to anyway. Even his nana, his biggest supporter and fan, made sure to tell him at least twice a year that failure's not the end.

They won't be surprised that he couldn't even hack it a week.

He feels sick and scared and ridiculous but self preservation kicks in two seconds after he knocks. His stomach lurches and he takes a step back, then another, and starts to walk away. He wishes there were a corner to turn, some way to hide.

Phil catches him before he gets too far. "Dan?"

He sounds sleepy. Of course he was asleep. It's fucking one in the morning.

"Uh." Dan turns around. "The power's out."

"Oh - wow." Phil frowns and looks behind him. "You're right. I slept through it."

"Sorry," Dan mumbles. "I'll just-"

He waves a hand, but just as he starts to walk away again thunder crashes. It's chased by lightning only seconds later, shockingly close.

Dan shrieks and drops his phone. "Fuck. Fuck!"

Phil steps out into the rain and grabs Dan's phone for him. There's naked concern in his eyes. "Come inside."

*

Dan stands dripping in front of Phil's door until Phil comes over with a towel.

What a fucking mess. He's a fucking mess.

"Here," Phil says, handing him a bundle of dry clothes. "You can change in the toilet. I always bring extras, anyway."

Dan slinks into the toilet. Every bit of him is drenched, hair and shirt and pants and socks. He leaves them in a soggy pile on Phil's floor, only keeping his pants on. He can live with that level of dampness.

When he steps back out, he's got apologies on his tongue but Phil speaks for he even has the chance.

"It's awful out there." Phil peers out the window. "It's probably good you came over here. My phone's almost dead, I'd only just plugged it in before I slept. Here's yours, by the way. You've got a bit of a scratch in the corner but I tried to clean the mud off."

"Oh," Dan says. He'd forgotten he'd even dropped it. He takes it from Phil. "Thanks."

"Did you-" Phil starts to ask something, then stops. "Are you alright?"

His face looks so, so kind. It's almost enough to break Dan.

"I'm okay," Dan says, nodding more to himself than Phil. "It's just a lot."

"It is," Phil agrees. He sits down on the bed and pats the spot beside him. "Come on, have a seat. Keep me company until the power comes back.

Phil wants Dan to keep him company. Phil, who surely can see the state that Dan is in, who can surely see how much Dan is struggling, is asking Dan to keep him company.

There's not much in the world that he's got any faith in, but in that moment he suddenly finds he has faith that Phil Lester is not going to make him feel as awful as most of the people he suffered through his Academy years with always did.

*

Dan wakes up with an ache in his neck from sleeping half propped up against the pillow. He's cold - body on top of the blankets of Phil's bed, still wearing Phil's pajamas.

He looks over. Phil's properly in bed, having apparently gotten under the bedding some time after Dan fell asleep.

He can't remember how many hours they stayed up talking, but by the time Dan's body did wear itself out the storm had faded off into a light patter of rain and the sun was threatening to come out. They didn't even talk about anything important - their respective childhoods in England, Quantico stories, Phil's seemingly endless recollections of strange and esoteric cases that have been given to him. The last thing he recalls if Phil grilling him on what his mum's dog Colin is like.

Apparently Phil really, really likes dogs.

Dan gives him one more look then gingerly gets out of bed and walks into the bathroom, collects his wet clothes, and retreats back to his own motel room.

*

He gets another three hours of sleep in his own bed before Phil's knocking wakes him up.

He's prepared for some kind of awkwardness, but instead Phil's fully dressed and smiling brightly. "I hope you've enjoyed our fantastic stay in Oregon."

"What?" Dan's confused.

Phil just shrugs. "They got him. They want us back home today."

*

"I can't believe we didn't even have to do anything," Dan says.

Local police made the arrest, and higher ranking field agents descended to take him in. Now he and Phil are sat on a plane back to DC.

Dan's full of restless energy, but in a different way than before in the motel room. Now he's just sort of disappointed that this was his first real case and the actual case part was... non-existent. All that hype and nothing to show for it. He wants a refund on the amount of emotional energy he's spent anticipating this.

Phil shrugs. "Sometimes assignments are just like that. It's not really like it is on television. Sometimes the agent who saves the day is behind a computer on the other side of the country. Is that... what you wanted, though? Excitement and like, guns and stuff?"

"Not really," Dan admits. "The guns freak me out."

He's still wearing Phil's extra hoodie from the night before. It's cozy, and he firmly pushes away that faintly giddy feeling inside that comes with wearing the clothes of an attractive man that he is rapidly realizing he mind find himself liking quite a lot.

He also pushes away the memory of Phil asleep in bed beside him. He's probably straight, Dan thinks. He probably thinks Dan is straight too. He's only got room in his head for one crisis, and not being an embarrassment as a special agent has to take precedence right now.

Phil is giving him one of those pleasantly surprised looks. "Me too," he says. "I'm also really bad at them. I'm a horrible shot. My last partner - he requested off me. Thought I was, I believe the exact words were, a fucking weirdo who has no place in the bureau."

Dan looks at Phil. He can see right away that Phil's struggling a bit with what he's saying.

"Jesus," Dan says.

Phil shrugs a bit, just a lift of one shoulder. "I don't try to be, but I suppose maybe I am. So if you want... if it doesn't end up... working out. It's alright. You do have options, they won't - they wouldn't question it, I think, if you wanted to transfer away."

"No." The pang of emotion Dan feels is as solid as a punch. He meets Phil's gaze directly and says, with almost a note of defiance in his voice, "I think this is going to work out just fine."

[ghostmartyr]

Pokémon White Randomized Nuzlocke Run [Part 4]

We have an invitation to run off and battle one of our rival characters for free exp, so in the immediate wake of earning the third badge, that is where those still remaining shall march off.

Still breathing:

Frogger (Seismitoad)

Ptera (Archeops)

Palm (Breloom)

Batman (Escavalier)

But instead of running where game progression wants us to...

Back to the bridge. I wish I had my bike. As much as I love these monstrosities in this game, I’ve done a lot of back and forth in my grinding quest. This should hopefully cover it for a while. One last time for grins.

Or. Not.

My memory was that this guy left after you earned the Bug badge. I guess that was mistaken. So I guess I get to run all the way back across the bridge, since I just wasted my time.

I know I can’t catch whatever’s in the dark grass he’s blocking off, but I still really want to know what’s available. I guess I am doomed to wait until later.

Off to fight Bianca.

I haven’t given my Amulet Coin to anyone yet. I’ll give it to Frogger. Ptera’s still batting first because there’s no reason not to, but he has Acrobatics, so no items for him. He will have to play with other people and pokemon, not toys.

Frogger has seniority. He will care for our finances.

Heeeeey, Bianca.

Give me levels.

I love how these fights always reference the mess me and my friends made of my room in the first five seconds. We’ve learned so much. Now we ask before we have fights indoors, and keep in mind the expensive electronics nearby.

She has a level 18 Herdier. It doubtless knows Bite.

That no longer concerns us.

Frogger is permitted to duel with her bloodthirsty level 20 Patrat. A dangerous foe, to be sure. Arrogance has been no friend to us in past altercations with it.

I am ridiculously overleveled.

A level 18 Munna and Pansear will round out her team, and Frogger will slay them both with distinction, granting us no levels and money. We can settle for money.

Bianca always makes me so sad. Watching a character’s enthusiasm dwindle is never fun, no matter the game, and she’s such a sweetheart. It isn’t her fault the plot won’t let her win. She calls me her friend and remembers to ask permission to have pokemon battles indoors.

Then she says more stuff and me being sad about her sad feelings is less important because she’s talking about all of her happy feelings thanks to the journey.

Maybe I should stop talking about parts of the story I barely remember as they’re happening and just read.

See now, you, you I have no problems beating.

Opening move is a level 20 Pidove. I think we can safely switch that to past tense. Same for the level 20 Pansage, level 22 Meganium I keep forgetting he has, and level 20 Liepard.

Palm was given the Liepard to feast upon.

The rest were tribute for Ptera.

Hello what is up, are we doing a thing?

Oh. No, she just called to let us know she’ll be waiting for us at the next city. You know, in the old days, professors would just show up unannounced and throw eggs at whatever ten-year-old happened to be closest and tell them to run around so it’ll hatch.

I’m not sure I like this more modern approach of politeness.

Three cheers for being allowed to move forward again. Onward, to trainers who will not expect a level 32 Archeops!

Naturally, what all this time I spend being ridiculously overpowered is going to do is build a false sense of confidence, and at some point in the future I will, once again, suffer horrific losses that shine a light on my hubris.

Then I’ll go through another grind session, whining all the way, and the segment after that, I’ll be back to being superpowered.

Knowing this should theoretically protect me from letting it happen. Let’s watch.

!

It’s a new area!

Is it... could that possibly mean...?

...

Hey Randomizer what in the fuck.

Uh.

Um.

...Game, the dramatic legendary music is not helping much with thought. At all. Let me think... I know it’s at least partly Flying (in as much as I know anything, so without looking it up, I don’t actually have a clue). I don’t know a thing about its moveset in general, forget at this level.

I guess before I start asking complicated questions like what’s best suited to wound it and not die, I should try throwing a Quick Ball.

I have those.

I sometimes have luck to go with. Let’s hope now is one of those times.

I do not foresee enjoying this encounter.

Adding to the trouble, whatever this thing’s typing is, it is not resistant to sandstorms. It’s going to take damage every single turn, and has an abysmal catch rate to boot.

I think Palm can get a hit in without killing it. Mach Punch is weak against Flying.

So it knows Gust and Swagger. One Mach Punch without the aid of Swagger got it to almost mid health. I don’t think I get to attack it again. I should just let the sandstorm do its work. Frogger knows how to stand still.

Add Bite to the moveset list, but nothing on my team cares anymore! Insert sobs here.

You know. I’m looking at the Poke Balls I have available, and I can’t help but notice that my stock does not have legendaries in mind. I have ten of the standard model, but everything else is in the single digits. Single digits that don’t even fill up one hand.

...It’s going to die to Sandstorm before I can catch it, isn’t it?

My only Ultra Ball is now gone.

I don’t think I’ve gotten a single roll for it yet. I have maybe four more chances.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GLORY TO THE POWER OF THE DUSK BALL!

Pure Flying, you do not fill any gaps in my team at all except for conceivably the most crucial: The number gap. If I’d lost another route, I would have been very sad indeed.

What do I name you, though?

Gelding.

Because I can’t look at this set of legendaries without thinking about Wind Waker, so you get Zelda, then gusts and gales and all things blustery tend to start with G, and ‘ing’ is just a nice finisher.

(Looking up pokemon stuff is against my self-imposed rules, but dictionary stuff isn’t. I knew when I picked the name that it was an actual word, and something to do with animals, maybe to do with leggy ones, but did not remember what, just that it is a nice sounding word. I was banking on it being deer related.

Nope.

Sorry about your name, Gelding. It’s staying now.)

Gelding is Lax and proud of his power. I never like seeing either of the Defense stats in the blue, but I have zero memory of what this legendary is good for anyway. Presumably you’re going to be an overpowered monstrosity that I accidentally kill.

I think, rather than exploring the Resort area further (there’s some sort of underground section that it’s own area somewhere in there, so maybe, maybe teammate number six lurks beneath), I’m going to head to the next town and buy some more catching supplies.

That was far from a chill catch.

In lieu of thinking, I’m going to throw the Exp. Share on Gelding. He is twenty levels behind. As a responsible trainer who is absolutely not going to be his leading cause of death, I wish to correct that imbalance.

Oh yeah, you wanted me for something.

Free stuff! Free stuff I actually want! Thank you Professor Juniper, I will remember this the next time I complain about you interrupting my wanderings with things like story progression!

ffs guys, I just want to hit the PokeCenter. Could you stop stealing things for five scenes?

Could you also stop having things like Watchdogs? I do not enjoy fighting such creatures, as they make me needlessly paranoid and cast lingering glances at the empty spots in my roster.

Yo, I have a bike! I didn’t think you got that so early in this one. Thank you, random old person. My bridge-traversing ways are forever in your debt. Oh, wait, not so random. He runs a Day Care.

The store in this town does not sell Ultra Balls.

I’m not going to stock up too much, just in case healing items become as desirable as I think they might in the future, but I grab thirty Poke Balls and twenty Great Balls. I might not need them, but I don’t want to be thrown into a situation where the one thing I can catch on a route is a legendary, and I can’t catch it.

Having said that, there will be no more legendaries anywhere in the rest of the map.

But okay, healed up, time to head back to the Resort and maybe meet lucky number six.

[Pictured above: First of the things not caught in Desert Resort]

I need to make a note to enjoy myself properly with the Randomizer at some point. Part of me is a little sad that my first experience is being spent on a Nuzlocke run.

Then the rest of me considers my self control, and considers that having some clear boundaries the first time out isn’t such a bad thing.

-rubs hands together-

Show me something good, game.

Excuse me, what in the fuck.

Quick Ball?

Yeah, that’s a strong no.

Ptera will chomp right through it. I don’t know its moves. Fire would murder Batman and Palm, but Frogger doesn’t have anything that wouldn’t murder Entei. Risking Gelding feels wrong, but Gelding has the best Type for this.

Okay, buddy.

Try. Not to die.

Entei has Bite and Ember.

Gelding at 13 HP put Entei just into the orange. So.

I’m going to use up my Premier Balls, because if it comes down to it, I do have a couple of Timer Balls. I don’t think I can do anything to damage it further without risking death on one side. Besides, who knows, maybe one will work.

(No.)

Entei also has Leer.

That’s a much scarier move when it has all the time in the world to use it.

...And it has Roar.

Oh please no. Do not let this fool’s errand end that way.

I’ve watched a Ultra Ball roll three times twice now. This is torture.

I am really glad Roar keeps failing, but I don’t know enough about why it is to know if that will continue or not. Usually with things in the wild, Roar just ends the fight, and I don’t have any Ability that I know of to counter it.

I have one Ultra Ball left.

Aaaaaand it’s gone.

Sigh.

Thanks, Professor Juniper.

Holy fuck, casual Heal Ball of despair for the win.

What to call you, what to call you...

You have a cloud on your back... Cloud is a Final Fantasy character... F is for... Fido!

Good dog!

Do you know what that means?

I have six!

Time for healing and grinding and finding out what non-legendary things I could have gotten instead, not that I would have preferred less heart stress in rounding out my team!

Having a Fire type is also really, really useful. I tend to use Fire as my multipurpose enforcers, especially against things like Electric types, so Fido is a high quality boon.

Is this Randomizer accidentally set to Badass Mode?

There’s also Altaria here. The first non-heart eyes option is Lickitung. Look at all these things that aren’t legendaries. Of course, now I’ve been spoiled, and just want to run ahead to the next area where I can catch a thing again. I want to know what it will be. The curiosity. It drives progress.

I found a Fire Stone in the Resort. This is worth mentioning because out of the options, a Fire Stone is the evolutionary stone I already chose to have in my collection.

A lot of my choices don’t seem to result in anything nearly as helpful as I intended for them.

I forgot out big the Resort area is. Or maybe it just feels larger because all the sand kills visibility.

I have no memory of this place.

Wait. Something about... the Fire/Bug type Alder has? Champion’s name is Alder, right? I think at some point in the game you can come across that somewhere in here? Maybe?

I dunno, let’s explore.

Still Relic Castle, so nothing to catch here, sadly.

Is this the way out if you go down the quick sand portals on the other side? Probably.

Aw, there’s Kangaskhan down here. I’ve never played through a game with one of those. I think I always trade to get it. That would have been cool.

Not that I’m judging Fido’s place in the team or anything. I am just providing color commentary.

There’s also Vanillish.

I need an area where I can catch something again. All this cool stuff is tormenting me.

The problem with Ptera being so strong, and resisting the Sandstorm, is that I’m coming up short on a compelling reason to swap him out for someone else. He’s just so perfectly competent.

Resort also has Mareep. So many treasures.

I’m trying to hit all the trainers here, but I think I’m mostly making myself lost.

Would this randomized mode perhaps like to chill?

It’s another Relic Castle one, so I don’t get to try to catch it, but honestly, what in the fuck. I am going to run out of legendaries to catch by my sixth badge at this rate.

...Well. Probably not. I don’t care to do the math on that, but there are kind of a lot of legendaries at this point. But still, what the heck.

Oh hey, a Walrein! That’s not a legendary! What a twist.

I should consider switching Ptera’s spot more strongly. He is four levels higher than the next highest.

Hello, there.

So it hasn’t really come up, but I think the rules I’m choosing to use are that I can use gift pokemon, but only if they’re randomized. I’m not sure if the fossils will be their usual selves or not. I’m going to pick the Cover Fossil either way, since Ptera doesn’t need to have an insecurity added to life, but it would be neat if it turned out to be something new.

Ugh, but that would mean going all the way back to the fossil gym.

...When do I get Fly?

Eh, I have six at the moment anyway. There’s no rush.

...

I need to know.

No such luck. Dear turtle friend, were this a normal run, you would be a grand addition, and I would love you muchly, but as we are doing what we’re doing here, you must go unnamed and into a box. Fear not, you are not dead, merely forever frozen and unused.

Back to Resort grinding.

(Hooray for bicycles.)

Relic Castle continues to astound.

This is so awesome. I hope whoever programmed Randomizer is out living their best life.

Okay, Ptera’s 35. I need to give something else a chance. Palm, show me what you’re made of and train up our new legendary pals. Though as long as I’m doing this in a specific area... I mean, I won’t go out of my way to EV train, but Palm is already swimming upstream with his Nature. Maybe I’ll just give him a level and switch over to Frogger.

Not that I even remember what any of these things dish out. HP, maybe?

...Ptera really is the best thing on my team to manage this stuff. Maybe I should just go deal with the next gym.

Batman, how about you go ahead and murder a bunch of Cresselia for me. It’ll be our bonding experience. You like killing Psychic things, right? I seem to recall something about our first meeting...

No, okay, fine, I won’t hold that grudge. We’re partners now, and that’s all that matters.

On fourth thought, I’m just gonna stay upstairs and let Frogger take out Entei when Fido isn’t clearing out the Budew. Gelding’s almost 30, so I won’t feel obligated to keep the Exp. Share on for much longer.

Fido is at a level where this is actually annoying. My kingdom for a legendary that learns good moves early. Ember is just not all that great, and Budew’s Water Sport is annoying to work through.

Roar keeps not working for the wild Entei. I have no idea why that is, but it’s convenient. Having my free exp scare me away every other time would be frustrating as heck.

Eh, Fido learned Fire Spin. Yay. Its leading quality is being slightly more appealing to me than Roar.

Wait a moment. Fido. I didn’t take a look at what you’re like. I was so excited to have six that I completely forgot to check up on you.

Fido is Sassy and often dozes off. What that means is largely lost on me, but in general losing out on some Speed to up a Defense stat is okay in my book. The ability never had the option of being something else, I don’t think.

A belated welcome, doggo.

...Good grief you need better moves.

...It learned Stomp.

Okay, everyone’s 30 or higher, time to return to the plot.

Wow, I did not expect that. It’s so weird when random NPCs just hand out HMs.

I’d forgotten about the stadium trainers. I think every day they have different sports going on, and each set contains trainers. I have vague memories of grinding using them. ..I probably could have just hung around here instead of Relic Castle.

Oh well, more levels for me.

Is this where we have our Ferris Wheel thing?

(I remember so little of these games, yet N possibly having a thing for the protagonist has stuck in the consciousness of the internet for so long that it is what sticks.)

Yeah, this happens.

Tale as old as time.

I want N’s hat. Will Pokemon Go make his outfit available at some point? That would be neat. The protagonist gear always looks a bit dorky. Unlike turtlenecks and button-up shirts.

He has a nice hat.

Elesa, why does your gym look like this. It makes me want to go play laser tag.

Time for some exp I don’t really need.

Nimbasa has a lot going for it. I think this is the generation where I realized how you could breed things and EV train them, so I spent a lot of time messing around with the subway features. I wasn’t very good. I think I wanted my trainer card to reach a higher tier of color?

Yeah, that didn’t work. It was all confusing, and mostly I just wasn’t good enough at coming up with strategies. Or copying them efficiently.

...Are there really only two trainers here? And the other sport court has a game in progress. Dang it.

I don’t remember if I have to participate in the Pokemon Musical.

I know I don’t wanna.

Bianca is walking me inward. This does not bode well.

I have a Prop Case now.

What part of “I don’t wanna” is so hard to understand. ;-;

Gelding, you want to put on a show? You’re probably most likely to be swapped out if I see anything I like in future routes, so we should treasure our time together while we can.

By which I mean we will participate in mutual suffering.

It’s an expression of love, Gelding.

Bianca leaves before I’m asked to do anything else. Do I stay and check it off the list, or flee and hope that this is not necessary to progress?

...Maybe I will go back inside.

Dude, all I remember about this encounter is that Elesa is better than you. And most everyone else. It’s time for Bianca to lay proper claim to her independence, right?

...Wait, this ends well?

Right, I guess all the truly terrible parenting has to be saved up for N.

Congrats, Bianca!

I think I’ll actually go ahead and deal with the gym now.

...No, I won’t. I want to check and see if I have access to the other routes yet. Mayhaps it is time to catch things. Or meet Alder. That’s his name, I think. I think we see him for the first time on the route to the left. So I shall go right.

Huh. This is a fun thing.

The next badge probably makes Strength usable outside of battle. So if I go and do the gym, I’ll have the choice between two spots of grass. Darker grass doesn’t necessarily have better stuff, because it’s all random, but it will have things of higher levels, which means less grinding.

...I’m gonna check out the other side. Possibly get a badge.

Then will come the decision.

Which may or may not be dependent on how much I want to put off giving something on my team Strength.

Here, things do not appear to be nearly so complicated.

There is dark grass, but I think it’s impossible to get to without walking through the normal grass. Maybe I’ll find something in the normal grass on this side, then use Strength and deal in the dark grass on the other side.

Plan? Plan.

...Still largely dependent on what I have that can learn Strength.

I guess that’s one nice thing about these legendaries with the awkward movesets. Fido can probably handle not fainting our new teammate. Probably.

...Hey Gelding guess what you get to stay.

I’m gonna name you Bandit. If we’re both very lucky, we’ll never, ever use you.

Next thing to pop up in the grass is a Maractus, then a Bonsly. This is like. A sane route. Weird.

Meanwhile, over in the dark grass.

Chikorita, Munna... Samurott.

By the standards of this run, I’d still call it pretty sane. The Samurott is darn near level appropriate. I don’t know what I would have picked out of this set. Bandit has some proper charm. That’s hard to say no to in the midst of such chaos.

OH!

Bandit can learn Strength!

Awesome!

Who’s a good girl? You’re a good girl!

Gym time!

This makes me want to hit the arcade so bad.

I haven’t really decided what to use here. Fido was the assumption, but Fido’s moveset is terrible. I think half the things in here are likely to have Static, and its only decent moves are all physical attacks.

Gelding shouldn’t go anywhere near anything here.

Ptera would probably be fine, but his Defense is abysmal, so all it would take is one round of not being fine to ruin that.

Batman would be pretty okay all around, but not a great damage dealer. She does know Headbutt, though...

Palm I’m paranoid about letting loose against things he doesn’t have a Type advantage with, but I think he’d mostly be okay. I just don’t want to risk my precious Breloom coming to harm.

...Fido and Frogger will have to do, I think.

What even is the deal with this gym. Elesa has so much style that it would cause poisoning in a real world setting.

The trainers so far have dealt in mid-20s pokes. Elesa’s might hit 30, but my guess would be that 28 might be closer to the mark.

...Elesa’s gym is full of neon, rich kids, and roller coasters, and I just love it so very much. And Ember isn’t doing too shabbily. I would still prefer having something better to work with, but as long as Emolga are so popular, Frogger’s not the best choice, so it’s good that Fido can put in the proper work.

Can I say for the hundredth time how much I love the work they put into the gyms in this gen? Because it is one of my primary joys of the games. Pokemon are great and all, but the aesthetic.

Firs up is a level 25 Emolga. With Volt Switch, so that will leave the stage after one Ember to let loose a different level 25 Emolga. Who will also use Volt Switch, bringing the first Emolga back out. That Emolga faints, Fido grows to level 34, and time to find out if that’s enough to push the second Emolga into fainting with two Embers instead of three. Apparently there’s a Special Defense difference between the beasts.

Yep, that did it. Emolgas down, and I’ll switch to Frogger for the Zebstrika.

Dang, I was off. It’s level 27.

Frogger downs it, getting up to 34 as well, and we have another relatively painless gym experience!

Go team!

Elesa also promises to deal with the pesky bridge problem I didn’t bother screencapping. I think the next Leader is a Ground type. Cowboy dude who has to be pestered into letting pedestrians use the drawbridge.

But that will have to wait for next time!

[unfortunatelysirius]

Chocolate Frogs and Love Notes [Remus Lupin - Marauders Era] [Part 1 of ?]

💟☼💟 PROMPT 💟☼💟 ☾ ¡Original! ☾ Remus Lupin and Y/N L/N have anonymously exchanged notes through a library table for over six months. When Sirius and James start meddling, will they put Remus’s love life in jeopardy or accelerate it positively? 💟☼💟 A/N 💟☼💟 In the comments below, tell me if you like this idea or not. Please, tell me if you want a Part 12 to Not Your Girlfriend and a Part 3 to Whispers in the Dark! As a tertiary question… do you all want an updated masterlist? I haven’t made one in a while, and I’ve uploaded a lot of imagines I’m sure you all have difficulty finding at times. Hopefully this isn’t complete garbage because I literally wrote it in under twenty five minutes. 💟☼💟 WORD COUNT 💟☼💟 1411 💟☼💟 TAG LIST 💟☼💟 @kapolisradomthoughts @rageofcaliban @saucyleftovers @bunnymother93 @siriuslyr5 @apareciumimagines @random-quartz @ruefulposts

          IF SOMEONE told you a year ago that you would be genuinely excited to study in the Hogwarts library, you would have physically balked and laughed aloud. “Sure,” you would have said, throwing in a scoff for good measure. “Totally.” Unlike Lily Evans, you would have rather spent your time reveling in solitude, reading a Muggle book or watching the scenery and movement of the clouds outside in the courtyard. Studying was a hobby you never wished to voluntarily participate in. It was a dull and horrid thought, sitting there and reading theoretical nonsense; the worse, unwanted alternative was having to write an essay on the ingredients to make an obscure potion you couldn’t pronounce. Most times, the latter was what you were given. Slughorn certainly knew how to get on your bad side.

         Of course, instead of a hypothetical moron barking up the wrong tree, it was you. Here you were, standing outside of the double-doors of the library, a nervous smile on your face. None of your friends were you in sight—not Marlene, not Lily, not Alice, not Mary. It was merely you, something that would have shocked a few persons out of their knickers if they were to know the true extent of your hatred of studying. But they wouldn’t have known what had gotten you to smile in such a way, or what had caused you to suddenly have a reason to study. It wasn’t studying. Quite frankly, it was an anonymous boy who loved books and Muggle music just as much as you did. And you were eager to read his note and write your next.

         You were very easy to read; your face could easily reveal everything with a single flicker of emotions. Because of this, Lily and Mary were constantly pestering you to spill what had gotten you into such a state of nerves. “Is it a boy?” Mary had teased just three days ago. She’d let out a burst of laughter when your face turned pink with embarrassment. You had to spend five whole minutes ranting about how they couldn’t tell a single person, especially those bastards called the Marauders. They would antagonize you for sure, and you certainly didn’t want Remus to overhear about it. You used to have the biggest crush on the bloke, and you didn’t want a harmless pen-pal to suddenly ruin your chances. Well, if you even had any chances. Remus was very hard to read.

         With a sigh at the thought, you pushed open the library doors. You were swept into a fortress of air that smelled like new books, old books, and bowls upon bowls of ink. Madame Pince immediately looked over with a sharp glare, her look dropping into a frown of disdain that read, “Oh, it’s you.” You merely returned the look before you power-walked towards the back-table, the one beside the shelf that held books on lycanthropy and goblin-hunting. You dropped your rucksack filled with textbooks and crumbled pieces of used parchment onto the chair nearest the shelf, then plopped down into said chair. With a deep breath of excitement, you reached beneath the chair and hunted for the familiar shape of parchment. After seconds of searching, you found what you were looking for—and you quickly jerked it from the metal bar of the underneath of the table, then unraveled it slowly onto your lap.

         In the first few weeks of writing notes to your mysterious pen-pal, he was worried about you figuring out his identity. You reassured him time and time again that you were patient and would wait for him to be okay with seeing you in person—and he retuned the gesture. You had anxiety when it came to meeting new people, so you promised that you wouldn’t try to seek him out, both for your sake and his. You had been fulfilling that promise for nearly six months.

         You excitedly removed the tape from the note, and you were beyond shocked when you found yourself looking at the petal of a rose inside of the note. A look of utter shock fell on your face, and you gaped, looking identical to a speechless and breathless flounder. You took the rose petal and lifted it to your nose, taking a minute to just inhale its scent, hoping to catch a waft of the boy who was slowly stealing your heart. No one had ever done something so kind and thoughtful for you.

         “Bloody hell,” you muttered to yourself, knowing you were in deep. Before you could pity yourself for being so moronic, you gently placed the rose petal onto the table and looked down to begin reading.

         Dear Rosy,          About your book recommendations a few weeks ago… I mailed my mum to buy them from the muggle bookstore and they’re sitting in my dorm as we speak. While all of them look very exciting, I especially look forward to reading The Importance of Being Earnest. You seemed very passionate when you spoke about your love for Oscar Wilde, so I know I will love it just as much as you do.          Truthfully, the best books I can recommend are Animal Farm, 1984, and The Old Man and the Sea. I’m a big Orwell and Hemingway fan, if you couldn’t tell. If you’re into dystopia and politics, then Orwell definitely suits you. Hemingway’s a big cynic, and I honestly don’t know how to describe his writing.          How much do you love The Beatles? You always talk about them in our letters, and I just want an estimate. Maybe it’ll give me ideas for your Christmas gift?

         As a side note, how is studying for exams going? I remember you mentioning your utter loathing for “reading textbooks.” So as a token of motivation, here’s a petal of your namesake. I hope it still smells nice when you open this note. If not, then I apologize in advance.          Love,               Moony

         A smile immediately fell into place, and you quickly quirked them downwards to avoid looking like an utter loon. You opened your rucksack and dug out a quill, a container of ink, and a piece of parchment. Then you began to write.

         Dear Moony,          I’m so excited for you to read those books! You will adore Oscar Wilde; he’s a divine artist of words. His book, The Picture of Dorian Gray, is also a classic. I highly recommend it, after you finish the rest.          Orwell—how have we not picked up on a discussion about him yet? I loved Animal Farm, but I have yet to read 1984. You said it’s a dystopian novel, right? I love dystopias, so I’m sure I’ll love the book.          If I had to rate my love for The Beatles, it would be a million out of ten. If they ever have a concert in Scotland, tell me, and I’ll make sure to sneak out of Hogwarts and buy a ticket. What are your favorite artists? I know you like Don McLean and The Doors. But who else? I hope you enjoy The Who because I adore them. Don’t we already have a very similar music taste?          This rose petal smells amazing, and I hope you know that I’ve never had someone do something so nice for me. You’re extremely smart so I know for certain you’ll pass with flying colors—a card full of Outstandings and Exceeding Expectations. We all need to hope and pray I manage all Acceptables!

         Love,                 Rosy

         You taped the parchment with the piece of tape Moony had used, and quickly crushed it into the nook beneath the table. You gathered up your things—making sure to be careful and meticulous with the rose petal—then left.

         What you didn’t notice was a familiar pair watching you from a nearby table. They saw the rose petal, and they remembered a certain werewolf plucking one from the courtyard when they were out walking earlier. They certainly remembered how utterly smitten he had been acting lately, and they’d finally gotten to the bottom of it.

         Sirius Black looked to James Potter and grinned. “It appears that Remus has acquired himself a lady friend,” he said in a mock, theatrical whisper.

         James returned the grin and glanced back at your retreating figure. “And it seems she has no idea who he is,” he observed. He glanced over at his best mate. “Should we meddle?”

         Sirius’s grin widened, if that was even possible. “Hell yes.”

[pass-the-bechdel]

Orphan Black season five full review

How many episodes pass the Bechdel test?

100% (ten of ten).

What is the average percentage per episode of female characters with names and lines?

57.62%

How many episodes have a cast that is at least 40% female?

All ten. Eight have a cast over 50% female, and four have over 60%.

How many episodes have a cast that is less than 20% female?

Zero, obviously.

How many female characters (with names and lines) are there?

Thirty-one. Eighteen who appear in more than one episode, twelve who appear in at least half the episodes, and three who appear in all the episodes.

How many male characters (with names and lines) are there?

Twenty-eight. Seventeen who appear in more than one episode, eight who appear in at least half the episodes, and zero who appear in every episode.

Positive Content Status:

As per usual with this show, it’s convinced that just having a lot of women around makes it a great feminist work, but its obsession with female biology and the reek of disdain for it kinda undercut that concept (average rating of 2.9).

General Season Quality:

It suuucks. Full of plot contrivances that go nowhere, random and useless events and characters, and vital development inexplicably happening off-screen while we’re stuck watching episode filler. This is a great season to watch if you want to make a list of all the things you should never do in a narrative.

MORE INFO (and potential spoilers) under the cut:

So, how about that Westmoreland bullshit? With the random old dude who they set up like some ultimate bogeyman, but then it turned out he was a fake and that all the dramatic science talk associated with his little island society was fabrication and the beast-man in the woods was inconsequential and the whole plot took half a season to resolve into actually just a smokescreen for the absence of any plot of actual value? But then they kept the bogeyman anyway so that he could STILL be treated like the ultimate villain whose death signals the freedom of the clones for, um, some reason? Why did they even bother having Susan Duncan survive last season’s stabbing just so she could have her her scientific creator position bizarrely retroactively usurped by ‘Westmoreland’ before she gets killed off for real? Why did they bring back Coady, at all?? Just to pretend that the idiotic Castor sterilisation plot could wedge sideways into a weak endgame idea of implausible longevity-science that doesn’t even exist yet in-story? How about Kira Manning, plot device? Remember how Felix got turfed for half the season so that he could money-trail his way to taking down a shadowy corporate cabal through completely off-screen shenanigans, because actually SEEING the machinations that bring about the culmination of a story is for wimps? Remember how Alison conveniently went soul-searching for half the season so that they didn’t have to write plot for her at all, and then she reappeared with a new haircut and threw out her old personality and still did nothing plot-relevant? I half suspected it wasn’t really her, guys. I thought they were playing some wacky twist where some eleventh-hour evil clone was pulling a Sarah and impersonating Alison, only doing it really badly with stupid hair. Tatiana Maslany is a talented actor, but I’ve mentioned before how huge a role character design plays in selling the idea that you’re looking at a different person, and damn, she did NOT sell me on the idea that she was still Alison, but with a new look. It’s small potatoes compared to the myriad other sins of the season, but it’s just such a dumb thing to fuck up. 

Meanwhile...how about how they brought MK back for one episode only, so that she could do nothing and then be violently murdered? Doesn’t stink like cheap drama at all. Neither does bringing back Gracie Johannssen for one episode and then killing her too, even though it’s illogical for her to return to the series, especially at this awfully-convenient moment. Mark was imminently dying for months and also under the impression that Coady was dead, how did they last-minute make contact with her, get coerced into finding Helena in order to get a cure, AND just-so-happen to know where to look? And then Mark dies too, without even discovering that Grace is dead, both characters just being deleted without fanfare. Cheap drama. As noted, Mark was already dying, so bringing him back to do it onscreen changes nothing, but Grace was eighteen years old, raised in an abusive cult, rendered barren - putting a bullet in her brain now for absolutely no narrative purpose is just cruel. Like MK’s death, and a little like Susan’s as well, the main drive seems to be some writer’s desire to create drama by unnecessarily and excessively harming women, to the point of death. Life is torturous and awful, they lose everything they ever had or valued, and then they get murdered. It comes off pretty misogynistic, to be honest. Pointless murders of female characters tend to get that air about them. Siobhan’s death at least feels earned in-story, insofar as we all expect the characters to lose a close ally by the end and Siobhan has always been the kind of character who plays the hard game and knows she’s more likely to run out of luck than to retire in peace. Coady, also, earned her way to a death (though she should have got it back in season three instead of being revived to finish out the series), however it is, again, a bit weird that she ends up playing second villain-fiddle to a man with no narrative credentials, no pull, and no reason why she - or Susan - should answer to him since both are aware that he’s a fraud. That, also, has a kind of misogynistic smell about it, like someone got antsy about the idea that these female scientists were being given the credit for creating the clones and decided they needed a master. Apparently, they also forgot about Ethan Duncan’s participation, which is doubly weird because he was anti-Neolution. Then again, they forgot that the clone projects were government-sanctioned with military oversight, too, so the whole ‘crazy dude on an island is the Big Bad in Charge’ doesn’t make sense. They also forgot that Coady didn’t know about the Castor pathogen until like, a few months before that plot started happening, so that could never have been her secret plan to sterilise everyone but the 1% who buy into Neolution science or whatever dumbfuck plot they pretended was going on in the end. Remember when this show was actually about clones, briefly, and it almost seemed like there was a plot?

Any discussion of the way a story ends tends to become a discussion of the story as a whole, so I’m not gonna drag this out. If you watched this season yourself, just, think about it: how many of the characters in this season had story arcs? How many of them impacted the plot in a meaningful way that drove the story forward? What was the story that drove forward, anyway? What can you separate out from that oft-maligned unnecessary, cheap drama, the plot events and threads that go nowhere and are not important to the central story or even tangentially to the development of characters who are important to the central story? Even in a season of only ten episodes, for a series which is making a planned ending and therefore should be at its narrative tightest as they squeeze in all the necessary stuff to theoretically finish in a coherent and rewarding way that ties off loose ends and concludes character journeys? How much of it actually needed to be there? It’s really slim pickings, guys. There’s a shocking amount of wasted time in there. I am BAFFLED that there are people who legitimately enjoyed this and thought it was deep. Diff’rent strokes for diff’rent folks and all, but honestly. Baffled. I’m taking the rest to the full season review.

[rigelmejo]

Another April Update Babey!

Upside: like March, I’ve been pretty motivated this month.

Downside: I wanna do Everything. I do NOT have time for everything.

A list of stuff I’m currently doing:

Going through Basic Chinese Radicals (Zhang Peng Peng textbook series) - its only 150 pages, but incredibly dense I did like 30 pages yesterday. Its excellent for writing practice as its a WORKBOOK, and all the radicals and example hanzi in it I should fucking know how to write T-T I don’t know how long this will take but I put it off long enough and its my SHORTEST chinese ‘writing focused’ book so I should use it. Its for the BASICS i should be past this already! But i’m not lol so I’m doing it.

Transcribing the pages in Japanese in 30 Hours with actual japanese under the romaji - good for picking up actual spellings of new words (and picking up the new words), grammar refresher, and I’m finally reading this book through (since the focus on transcribing is helping me be less perfectionist about memorizing everything before moving on). I’m about 1/4 through the book - it took a day. So I may well be done by next week. (Can you tell I’ve been in a really ‘writing practice’ mood lately? I think I just want to engage my touch senses more lately... might also be why active video games are easier for me to focus on, lots of actively affecting/moving things and doing something with my hands). 

Going through  Read and Write Chinese : A Simplified Guide to the Chinese Characters by Rita Mei-Wah Choy and writing the hanzi and mnemonics to remember them - this is actually going to be a very long process as the book has 3300ish characters. Also this book is literally JUST a reference - hanzi, pinyin, stroke order. Why am I doing this? Who knows man. I am writing out the hanzi like 20 times and making up my own mnemonic to remember the pronunciation (and meaning if I don’t already know it). Basically I just want to solidify my knowledge of the hanzi I DO vaguely recognize/partly know. And hanzi knowledge is basically my biggest issue in reading right now - running into new words with hanzi I don’t know, or running into hanzi I do know and forgetting how to properly pronounce them. 

Reading Guardian - I wanna finish this book so bad, like 90% of the rest of everything I’m doing in chinese right now is primarily an attempt for me to INCREASE reading speed somehow so I can read this easier. Also it is THE goal. The first goal I had in chinese, the BIG goal, the goal that eventually led me to my other goals. I want to do it. I’m currently well within the capability of doing it! So procrastinating has no excuse! Its just god it takes me 20-30 minutes to read a 5 page chapter and I am in agony over how long its taking. 

Reading hanshe - its going fine. Ultimately while i LOVE reading it, I don’t know if I should drop it because it is eating up time I could dedicate to other things - primarily Guardian at present. But at the same time I really want to finish it, and enjoy it. I would like to move onto extensive reading after this story for a while though (so no reading in Pleco for a while - I have print books I want to get through).

Nukemarine’s memrise courses - this is actualy going great. Not much to say except to myself: STOP procrastinating by trying to be a ‘prepared perfectionist’. If you can simply brute force the courses? Then do it. While reading Tae Kim’s Grammar Guide with it is ideal, as is reading the Memrise Website version (versus the app) which has all the course details, simply doing it is better than STOPPING to ‘prepare’ if you never actually are satisfied with enough preparation! JUST KEEP DOING IT MEJO I AM BEGGING. (Like... I literally was brute forcing the Tae Kim Grammar Guide portions and it went fine. Was it ideal? no. But I was actually studying versus just stopping out of fear of imperfection).

A list of stuff I WANNA do (not even like in a month, as in I wanna do it today/this month) ToT. Why am I listing it? Because knowing me, even if I have no time, I might do one of these things:

Read through Japanese in 30 Hours - this has potential to happen, as I’m transcribing the book into japanese instead of romaji and like 1/5 through already so like... good chance I’ll just happen to read it as I transcribe. I’ve felt compelled to do this so I might actually. Also! This book, ultimately, is for beginners, so if I keep making progress in the study materials I want to, idk how long this book will be relevant. What I’m trying to use to prevent procrastination: the book’s falling apart so I don’t need to feel bad for transcribing in it, its beginner material and a little out of date so I really should not feel bad if I just read through it without memorizing/re-reading until I’ve perfected a section!

FINISH HANSHE - I really want one book DONE, read and FINISHED. It being digital means a good chance I could do it. I just would... really like 1 book done, to say that I’ve read a full story, AND so as I’m going through Guardian I don’t have another BIG story I’m reading at the same time. I have a lot of books I plan to read/extensively read and they both go slower when I’m juggling multiple. 

Read Alan Hoenig’s Chinese Characters - I SHOULD have already done this. In fact I want to do this ASAP, and it would be great in combo with Rita’s book - because Alan Hoenig’s book has premade mnemonics to help me with memory and SIMPLIFED characters (Rita’s has traditional), but Rita’s book has stroke order and MORE hanzi. However both books are very dense reference materials. I want to read Alan Hoenig’s book. Do I have time? Well no because reference books take me like an hour to get through 5-10 pages lol. But will I read it anyway? Maybe...

Read the Little Prince, or Butterfly Lovers, or Journey to the Center of the Earth, or one of my Sinosplice graded readers - basically I sort of want to read something that is ACTUALLY a 98%-ish comprehension material for me. I’ve been doing some extensive reading, but by artificially lowering the difficulty by reading the english translation first. And I think if I read something ACTUALLY graded lower to level, I could work on improving my reading speed. Also it could be nice to FINISH those stories since I never did. However - that would be adding Yet Another story to the list of things I’m reading ;-;. I do sort of want to do this anyway though. You have no idea how much the biggest thing I wanna do right now is solidify pronunciation/recognition of hanzi I Already Vaguely Know, and improve reading speed. Both of those would make reading So much fucking easier. 

Read Le Francais Par Le Method Nature, recording audio for each chapter myself - while yes the second part could be optional, future me and any (truly lost) learner would probably appreciate an audiobook form of it. even if its pronounced bad, that’s more than currently exists (which is nothing at all audio wise). The textbook has a pronunciation guide under every word, but it would be nice to hear/say it out loud. Also I’ve been meaing to Finish the book for ages - it is over 1000 pages its a BEAST. But theoretically it puts you solidly into B1 or B2 by learning purely through graded comprehensible input that increases with your comprehension level. I am so in the mood to do it right now. I don’t have time. I do not have a solid reason to need my french better right now. But dang do I miss that book ToT

Things I kind of think I should want to do but also have had 0 motivation for:

**Finish reading Tae Kim’s Grammar Guide - I may not do this. Like I “want to do this” in the sense I feel a need. Its important, useful, will help. But actual “Random urge to do”? I do not have. Every time I read it I find myself doing my awful habit of wanting to reread from the very first section again, over and over. Wanting to reread each chapter multiple times and memorize, wanting to not move on to new more challenging material. I very easily stall ever studying new material when I get like this ;-;

**Listening-Reading Guardian - I literally tried a week ago. I got mad the english translation oversimplified so many sentences to the point lots did not match up to the audio, and gave up within a couple pages. Also this activity is time consuming. I’m probably going to put it off for later because honestly? As long as ONLY reading Guardian is an option - as in I can do it and skip the audio - I will tend to JUST read. Until the audio is the only new aspect, I’m likely to keep trying to read rather than listen-read. 

Thankfully, there’s some core stuff I’m managing to stick to doing:

Reading Chinese regularly

Going through the Nukemarine memrise LLJ courses

Who knows if I will stick to any of the rest. But at least I’m making solid Forward progress in each language in specific areas lol.

[theticklishpear]

Reading Meme

Tagged by @lizard-is-writing! Thank you so much, Lizard! I loved hearing about your adventures with books from your uncle’s store--so fascinating to think about the hands that have held those books and where they traveled.

1. Which book has been on your shelves the longest?

I still have a book about the tooth fairy and Good Night Moon from when I was really little, then Crocodile! Crocodile! Stories Told Around the World was gifted to me for Christmas in 1995 by my step-aunt, and then The Rough-Faced Girl gifted to me by my grandmother in 1998, and The Secrets of Vesuvius that I bought from a Scholastic book fair in 2001 (according to the order slip that’s still tucked in its pages).

2. What is your current read, your last read and the book you’ll read next?

Currently, I’m stalled out halfway through Tiffany Rose and Alexandra Tauber’s Hello World; last was Passenger by Alexandra Bracken; Magic Bites from Ilona Andrews is up next!

3. Which book does everyone like and you hated?

Truth be told, I dislike most classic literature. Not all of it--Crime and Punishment is one of my favorite books--but Jane Austen, Steinbeck, Fitzgerald, Ayn Rand, etc.... not my cup of tea. I can appreciate what they’ve done for literature and I can appreciate their historical context, but I am distinctly not a fan.

4. Which book do you keep telling yourself you’ll read, but you probably won’t?

I started reading The Arabian Nights as part of a quest to read the original stories that many Disney movies were based off of. I... I have theoretically been reading it since October 20, 2012, according to my Goodreads page. I have not actually read from it since 2014. Maybe someday, but let’s be real, here. Dyslexia and old styles of syntax are not my friends.

5. Which book are you saving for “retirement?”

I don’t save books I want to read for a special time, so I don’t know that I have an answer to this one, but Ken Follett’s The Pillars of the Earth duet has been on the list for a very long time. It was a favorite of my mother and grandmother, and I watched the TV series and enjoyed it, but I also know that they’re long reads, with an almost saga-like feel in that they actually follow the lifespan of a cathedral’s construction, which, by the way, lasts generations.

6. Last page: read it first or wait till the end?

Nah. I don’t need the end of the story that bad. I don’t even know these people yet! How can I appreciate the arcs and the foreshadowing and really feel the oomph of the end of a story if I’ve already peeked? Nah, I’m patient. I’ll get there.

7. Acknowledgements: waste of ink and paper or interesting aside?

Never a waste of ink. Those people deserve to be acknowledged! Publishing a book is a team effort, from the folks who read early drafts to any publishing/editing team you may have had. Always let those folks know they matter. Readers aren’t required to read them, either, you know? If you don’t care, don’t read! But from my perspective, if somebody wrote an interesting story, I want to know a little bit more about them, where they came from, and how the story developed within them. I love acknowledgements if they actually say something or tell a story.

8. Which book character would you switch places with?

Jill Pole from The Chronicles of Narnia.

9. Do you have a book that reminds you of something specific in your life (a person, a place, a time)?

I remember a summer my sister and I wound up with my paternal grandparents for a few weeks up at my family’s cabin on Lake Vermilion in the arrowhead of Minnesota. I want to say it was between sixth and seventh grade--we were in the middle of moving across the country and my parents were going ahead of us kids to find a house and dropped us with our grandparents who were already up visiting the cabin, so I guess that would have been 2002. I had the summer reading list for the new school I’d be attending when we got where we were going and literally none of them sounded interesting. I picked The Phantom Tollbooth on random, and it has since become one of my very favorite books. I must have been the pre-teen from hell that summer; I kept laughing and having my mind blown and reading sections aloud to my sister--a much more avid bookworm than me--who was also reading for her summer list. I’m sure she was very annoyed with me.

10. Name a book you acquired in some interesting way.

All of my books have either been ones I’ve bought or ones others have bought and gifted to me for birthdays or Christmases, so there aren’t really any interesting stories. My copy of Haints came from the publishers since I’d edited it; Dorrie and the Blue Witch was given to me after my cat passed away since he was named after the cat in that series.

I do have a set of all the Deltora Quest books that I believe my sister actually bought from Scholastic book fairs at school, but I kind of adhered to them more than she did. We moved every two years growing up, and on-base housing is small, so we couldn’t always have all our books out at each place we moved, so we would go through and pick out books for one small bookshelf each to have in our rooms for the two years we lived there, and then the next place we moved, we’d pick other books, kind of rotating through what we had available at any given place. Eventually, the Deltora books came to live on my shelves instead of hers, and when she moved away to college and eventually got married and didn’t come back home to live anymore, I asked her if she wanted them back. She didn’t really remember they’d been hers. So I kind of absconded with those.

11. Have you ever given away a book for a special reason to a special person?

Not my own copies, no. But I did give my cousin a new copy of The Amulet of Samarkand for Christmas one year, and on the following year a line item appeared on his wishlist: “Any book Pear recommends.”

12. Which book has been with you to the most places?

The Firebirds and Young Warriors anthologies have always been my go-tos for taking with me places. Their stories are short and satisfying so that if I don’t get all the way through the book during my trip, it’s okay. I can choose a story from them that I love to read again during the evenings and I don’t have to commit to finishing the book. Otherwise, these days, whatever’s on my Kindle comes with me for space reasons.

13. Any “required reading” you hated in high school that wasn’t so bad ten years later?

While I’m not yet 10 years our of high school, in the spirit of the question, I’ve never gone back to read any of those I hated that were required reading. There are too many other books to try and favorites to find. I do have a couple on my shelves that I did like.

14. What is the strangest item you’ve ever found in a book?

Nothing particularly strange. News clippings pertaining to the book, the Scholastic order form I just found, post cards from my dad while he’s been deployed, old bookmarks I’ve made.

15. Used or brand new?

While I love seeing used books and guessing their stories, I prefer to get myself new ones so that I can watch my own book’s story grow in its pages.

16. Stephen King: Literary genius or opiate of the masses?

I admit. I’ve never read a single Stephen King book, nor am I interested in doing so. I have no opinion except that I’m tired of seeing his name. I’m glad he’s found success. I do not appreciate that he’s labeled the end-all-be-all of writing success.

17. Have you ever seen a movie you liked better than the book?

Better than, no; as good as, yes. The Cadfael miniseries is A+; To Kill a Mockingbird is fantastic; and the two incarnations of Howl’s Moving Castle are very different beasts that are both lovely. But all of those are stories that I also enjoyed. I mean, I’m sure there are some movies of classics that would beat slogging through the reading of it all to heck.

18. Conversely, which book should NEVER have been introduced to celluloid?

The Dark is Rising, Inkheart, and The Golden Compass all deserved better. Frankly, I’m pleased The Dark is Rising movie has vanished from collective consciousness because those books are delightful and that movie was the worst adaptation I’ve ever witnessed.

19. Have you ever read a book that’s made you hungry, cookbooks being excluded from this question?

Not that I remember. Reading descriptions of food doesn’t do anything for me, not even on menus.

20. Who is the person whose book advice you’ll always take?

I never always take advice from anyone on anything, but I do take my sister’s opinion into account. My preferences are fickle and not even I can explain them well enough to always take advice from someone.

Tagging: @ancient-trees, @roselinproductions, @sapphicaquarius, & @panhasablog!

[imnoexpertblog]

Whatchya Watchin’?

5/11/18

Happy Friday! I want to remind everyone quick to take a look at my About Me and my first ever post Let Me Explain... if you haven't yet. You'll learn a little about who I am, what I do, and why I write. Thanks, everyone!

Okay. So. Remember when I said it’s hard getting me hooked on a show? That is true but there are shows that I have LOVED and I want to tell you which ones those are (not in any particular order). I really recommend you watch these if you haven't yet. 1) Dexter. I love the twist in this show; the fact that he works in criminal justice and kills bad guys that slip through the cracks. Sure, there are murder-mystery shows, but none with this plot. I love it. My step-mom (we will call her Mamy) is hooked and I couldn't be more pumped for her to see it all. 2) Desperate Housewives. I had watched this with Mamy here and there in middle school. Never paid much attention to it when I was that young, but I decided to start from the beginning back when I was newly single. I needed something to fill my time. I love how much is always going on in that show. There is no slow season throughout the entire series! 3) Bates Motel. I was always a fan of Psycho and Alfred Hitchcock, which is what Bates Motel is "based" on. I also really like Vera Farmiga, who plays Norma Bates. It's so interesting seeing the theoretical events that could potentially lead up to the movie Psycho. 4) Game of Thrones. I will be honest. I had no interest in watching GOT. AT ALL. My ex fiance brought it to my house one day and I was not thrilled. Reluctantly, I started watching it with him. It took me a couple of episodes to get into it, but I haven't stopped watching since. I even had long white hair for a little while and my coworkers called me "Khaleesi" and "Mother of Dragons" LOL. Lastly, I will say that I liked Breaking Bad but I don’t know if I would have kept watching it if my ex hadn’t forced me. It's not on my official list, but it's an honorable mention. I would say you should watch it. Friends is my all-time favorite sitcom, but that is totally different from TV dramas. My mom has always loved it since the beginning, so I have been watching it since birth. Baby (my man) has got me all about The Office lately. I avoided it for as long as I could because it made me feel very awkward while watching it but I am now 100% used to it. I like it a lot. Maybe give some of those a shot when you're looking for your next addiction.

I love movies. I mentioned that in Entertainment-Centered. I have always preferred them over shows. But you know what? Movies are EXPENSIVE. Going to the theater costs an outrageous amount of money today. That is why Baby and I signed up for MoviePass! You pay $9.95 a month and you can see one movie a day. No strings attached. No catch. If you see ONE movie every month, it will pay for itself! We have seen Black Panther, Game Night, Quiet Place, Acrimony, Ready Player One, Unsane, and Blockers so far in the past two months (all of which I have enjoyed). Seeing seven movies at $11 each costs $77. Subtract the $20 we have spent on the membership for two months so far and we both have saved $57 each. I think that is incredible. You check into the movie theater once you are there, you pick your movie and time in the app as well, and then you use the debit card provided to you by MoviePass when you "buy" your ticket. It's not a debit card linked to any account of yours. You are not charged whatsoever. Check it out, it's a great excuse for a bunch of cheap date nights! Here is my referral link that will get you a free month!

Baby and I have a book. It's not a reading book, though. It's a question and answer book that has you and your partner answer one question each day. It's set up to last you three whole years with different questions. Filling in our answers is one of my favorite parts of the day. Some of them are deep, some are funny, some are random. Some of them help you learn about your partner, too. We got the same one for Baby's favorite aunt and her boyfriend last Christmas and they love it, too! It give us something to do together and gives us more connection. And it's cheap as heck, only like $15 on Amazon! Three years worth of questions is well worth that cost.

Baby and I get to take Nugget (his son) to PJ Masks Live on Mother's Day! I'm so excited. The tickets are a birthday present to him. He is going to freak out when we see the live action characters. Nugget loves his PJ Masks. I know some of my readers don't have children and might not have any idea what I am talking about, but you moms out there know what I'm talking about! Speaking of Mother's Day and moms, I want to end with what has been weighing on my mind this week. It's tough being the girlfriend of the man with a son. We are in a very serious relationship and know we want to get married, but (contrary to popular belief) we aren't yet. This means I am not technically "step-mom" yet, not by definition. I love Nugget and take care of him like he is my own. I bathe him, dress him, feed him, play with him, take him to daycare, pick him up, take him with me when I run errands, teach him, console him, read to him, everything a mother does for a child. He knows I am a permanent fixture is his (and his father's) life now, but until Baby and I get married I am just dad's girlfriend. I'm well aware that we three know that it's much more than that, but I will admit that I am ready to be recognized as the step-mother by all. I don't remember when my siblings and I started calling Mamy our step-mom or when we started getting her Mother's Day gifts. She has been in our lives for about 16 years now. My parents split back when I was six and my siblings were too young to even remember that they were ever even married. Nugget will most likely only remember Baby and I being together, considering I entered his life when he was only a little over 3 years old. I know I'm kind of off on a tangent here but I guess I was just thinking about this a lot with Mother's Day coming up. It's definitely new to me and I'm doing what I can to handle it the best I can. I'm no expert, but I think I'm doing okay so far. ;) Just very excited to be a bonus mom and a wife.

You can look forward to the food blog next week! Xoxo.

[dothewrite]

Haru~~ what do you think will your mini volleyball squad major in university? :3

ohohoho! although this might venture into headcanon territory, i can’t speak for their interests, only what they’d probably be best at. so let’s give it a go!

Kuroo Tetsurou.

Ah this guy, I honestly do agree that he’s probably an absolute nerd when it comes to things he likes. I mean, it is canon that he referenced, and in fact, memorized like the lunatic he is, the whole term for DHA (I mean, maybe it’s a normal thing but I don’t think as a very average human being I’d be able to unless I did it deliberately). Of course, just ‘cus he knows trivia might not be because he’s dedicated but just because, y’know, sometimes we know random trivia, but I think it’s something to go on. We don’t have much evidence for anything else anyway!

Honestly I think he’d be great at physics. I know the headcanon is that he’s a chemistry nerd, but I think that although chemistry is really solution and equation based, with a lot of calculating and determining chemical sequences (or something, I can’t remember, all I remember is people’s lives being ruined by organic chemistry classes), but physics is a much more clear cut and potentially theoretical science. Chemistry is very abstract, and I think with Kuroo’s ability to literally come up with lame-ass phrases that are very long and actually require a lot of creativity to invent, physics might be a more flexible science for him because you can literally wrap your mind around a single problem with a dozen different ways to solve them (if you’re good). Also, what I gathered from his play style, it’s not technical as in, put your arms at a 47% angle with the pressure of a gently tap dancing elephant, but it’s practical, it’s logical and it’s simple enough that Tsukishima can understand- heck, that we as readers understand without much preamble. And that teaching method works. So I think that a science that has a good blend of theory as well as technical mastery, physics would probably be his forte. Imagine, astrophysicist Kuroo Tetsurou, but then again, that might be Oikawa’s (headcanoned) field.

Oikawa Tooru.

Speaking of Oikawa, although that it’s pretty much permanent headcanon that he likes space and aliens, factually, that all came from a single panel in chapter 67 that flashbacks to him as a child wearing an alien themed t-shirt. It’s cute! But I’m not sure that it’s enough for an actual character analysis to focus on.

Oikawa is clearly a genius. Sure, there’s the level of genius that instinctual like Kageyama with volleyball, but for someone like Oikawa to be so incredibly intuitive when it comes to other people and intelligent about a game he’s interested in (practicing is also a skill- there’s not going to be any improvement if you’re practicing wrong). This amount of knowledge and ease of which he accesses it definitely ranks him in the upper percentile of mental agility. We all know that it’s mostly agreed on in psychology (other than solid numerical and logical intelligence like IQ tests), there are many forms of intelligence. Oikawa definitely has at least an intrapersonal level of intelligence, and also physical intelligence to some extent. Perhaps not genius level but you don’t have to be an IQ of 185 to be considered extremely above average- a 130 or so will already do that. Honestly, with his level of dedication and IQ, there’s almost no subject that he’d be bad at. I think that because of his tendencies to practice and watch and research from case studies (aka. watching matches over and over again into the late night), he’d be more interested in a research and analysis based subject that doesn’t require too much abstact-ness (like pure maths), something that comes naturally to him. Art and literature would probably not be something he’d be interested in or good at. I think that what Oikawa might enjoy the most and do best at would actually be pyschology, oddly enough. This might be a slightly biased point of view but from personal experience, finding someone who is so naturally observant, intuitive, and to some extent empathetic, it would honestly be the most natural thing for him to study other people. Although many people think that psychology isn’t a hard science, it’s not numbers but it is incredibly scientific (clinical psychology is literally one of the hardest things to get into). Besides, if Oikawa isn’t interested in psychology, there is always neuroscience.

Bokuto Koutarou.

I honestly can see him as a professional volleyball player. However, that’s a career- he’s still gotta go through university (those scholarships he’d probably get with very little difficulty) so he must choose a major. Bokuto is a little more difficult to discern because all we see in canon is his attention to volleyball, and very little else outside of it. Almost in all the slides he’s playing, or he’s eating watermelon or meat, and there’s only five seconds in the anime where we see him in his school uniform. I’m basing this purely on his learning speed/ability as well as his work ethic and natural talent and picking things up. I recall somewhere that he’s… failing a class? But don’t quote me on that- that might be me conjuring up things, so I’m not going to take that into consideration in case it’s false.

However, what we do know, is that Bokuto is good at whatever he wants to be good at. Volleyball, of course, he has a natural ability in, but I think that if he chooses a subject he’s interested in, it’d work out well. Practically speaking, it can’t be something extremely time consuming like Medicine or Law, because volleyball practice for university level intramurals (I don’t claim to be a sports expert but people get scouted into national teams from those), I think they’d have to practice honestly extremely hard and very often. This would probably lead to a drop in grades because time-consuming courses definitely don’t let up on workload. Engineering, for example, would probably kill the guy. I think that something related to volleyball, because he has a such a one-track mind, might be of interest. Sports therapy, for example, or physical education. Or even in the future he might want to venture into physiotherapy or something- which does require medical courses but I mean, as a professional athlete your retirement age is extremely early and you’d have to find something else to do with the rest of your life. Something that he can apply to his passion, he’d probably excel in and naturally dedicate a lot of time into. Bokuto, in my opinion, has no issues with intelligence but probably has extremely selective learning preferences.

Akaashi Keiji.

It might be because of my terrible memory, but I honestly don’t know much about Keiji’s preferences or interests. I’m going to be extrapolating this purely from his personality and my own knowledge of university majors. He, as I mentioned before, seems to strike me as an extremely chill person. I, as a reader, know for sure that he loves his team (otherwise he wouldn’t put so much effort into such an excitable ace) but we don’t really hear about his love for volleyball. Is he passionate about it? Or is it just a thing that’s interesting to him and he kind of stuck around because he happened to be good at it and Bokuto was interesting/really needed him to function. I’m going to take it at face value, and say that he’s decently interested in volleyball, and he’s good at it, so he decided to stay. I think that’s quite some commitment that he’s taken on despite not having a burning love for a certain spot, because Fukurodani is definitely a volleyball powerhouse so they don’t take their practices easy. Imagine throwing so much time and effort into something that may or may not be your passion- that requires a lot of toughing through the bad times and choosing to stay loyal despite the ups and downs.

I think that Akaashi might just be a computer science kinda guy. Don’t let the common stereotype fool you (although… really, the labs were really dank during finals week), there are honestly a lot of extremely social and normal people that are interested in CSE. It’s a formulaic kind of subject, but at the same time it requires finesse, because you’re literally learning to create something out of nothing from several new languages you’ve learned from scratch. You can write messy code, and you can write extremely simple and elegant code. Akaashi strikes me as the type to actually enjoy the process of forming together pieces to create something. It’s an extremely soul-sucking subject, but I don’t think Akaashi will have any trouble with it because of his dedication. Another reason for CS, I’d say, is his strange split second calculation of Bokuto’s potential responses, and also his list of Bokuto’s #37 weaknesses. It’s… quite an interesting way of figuring out your best friend, and also a very interesting and mentally challenging way to come up with a decision when you’re a setter and you have literally half a second to make a choice. I think this proves that rather than instinct, he’s extremely capable of making well informed and analytical choices, so I think something equally analytical and logical would fit him best.