#i talk wayyy to much in thoses posts

[sweetsweetbumblebee]

unrelated but i DO kinda feel guilty for my little crush for reasons i will not explain. but. yeah its wild over here tonight

[lieutenantselnia]

If I could ask just one thing of the German film industry it would be a movie (or series idec) involving a gay couple played by Rolf Kanies and Justus von Dohnányi

[charmedbystars]

Hey darling! Do you think you could write about e-42 miles realising his girlfriend needs glasses and having to force her to the opticians,please?

pairing: e-42 miles x stubborn reader

summary: miles realizes you need glasses, but you're adamant of not needing them.

content: no warnings!

a/n: i absolutely loved this request and i FEEL this because i hate glasses and live off of contacts only. i hope this is close to what you wanted:))))

miles and y/n had been dating for a couple of months now. it wasn’t a recent relationship where they both needed to be hesitant around each other, you guys were wayyy past that stage as shown by each other’s constant teasing and messing around. of course, miles was a bit closed off and reserved, but you were breaking down his walls surely and you were positive you guys had no boundaries at this point. 

everyone at brooklyn visions academy was shocked when they found out you two were dating. you were pretty known around school and were nice to everyone, being the opposite of miles, who had a small group of guys that he didn’t even hang with outside of school.

now, you guys didn’t announce it and it was more of a “private but not secret” relationship, so you nor miles paid attention to the chatter. 

which brings everything to you sitting in math class, the only class you have with your boyfriend. thankfully there was no assigned seating in that class so you sat next to miles. as much fun as it was sitting with miles, there was a problem… being that all you wanted to do was talk to him all class period. 

“i was thinking we go to that new bakery that opened and drop some off at your mom’s wor-”

“y/n l/n, would you please tell me what’s the answer to the equation on the board?” the teacher cut you off, obviously annoyed by your chatter.

standing up, you walked to the board and looked at the equation before telling her the answer, there was no way you got into visions and didn’t know how to answer this question. “mmm teacher think she slick trying to embarrass me,” you thought. the teacher raised an eyebrow, confused as to why you stood up and walked all the way to the board when you could’ve told her the answer from your desk. honestly, you didn’t even notice what you did. you just walked back to your desk peacefully and sat down again. 

“ma, you know you could’ve just told her, no need for all that walking up and down like this is a fashion show.” rolling your eyes at miles, “the school is my runway,” you responded.

the rest of that class zoomed by and it was time for lunch. you and miles had your own little schedule for lunch, some days you guys would sit together and other days you would sit with your respective friends. today was one of those days that you guys would sit together though. walking together to the lunch line, there was a menu posted up on a board. usually, you just look at the board and go tell the lunch ladies what you wanted. looking at the menu, you squinted and looked at the menu for a couple of seconds before rubbing your eyes and going to the lunch ladies. normally, anyone would’ve ignored that small gesture, but miles being very observant of everything, noticed your action. 

getting your lunches and walking over to a bench to eat lunch outside, miles gave you a nudge, “you good, ma? no headache or somethin’?” 

“huh? no, i’ve been good all day, how come?” you asked. 

“nuthin’ just askin’ amor.”

and that was the end of that. the rest of the school day went by pretty quick too, which then came up your idea of going to the bakery that you were talking about in math class. walking to the bakery was pretty peaceful and it wasn’t far from the school, only a couple blocks down. the bakery was cute and it’s design being very minimalistic, other than the glass case full of different pastries. 

immediately walking up to the glass case to take in all of its beauty, miles walked up behind you, “get whatever you want, mama. let’s pick up something for my mom too, just like you said,” you looked over your shoulder and grinned. there was so much to choose from that you didn’t even know what you wanted. deciding to get something to eat there and getting a box to go, you ordered a strawberry cupcake, miles just went with a classic cheesecake. 

“they have milkshakes and smoothies. do you want something to drink with your cupcake?” 

glancing over at the overhead menu, you squinted and squinted, but nothing helped. “uhm, do you mind reading out the flavors for me please?” you asked miles politely.

“can you not see the board?”

“i can, i just want to hear your voice,” you tried defending yourself, but miles already seemed suspicious of you. deciding not to point it out in that moment, miles read out the menu and you made your choice. 

wrapping everything up and going back to miles’ place, walking in you both greeted rio. miles let her know about the pastries you guys brought back before heading to his room (door has to be cracked open, according to rio). in miles’ slightly tidy room, you sat yourself on the ground and proceeded to pull out all notebooks to work on all the homework you were assigned. while looking over your notes to get started on your homework, miles suddenly interrupted your train of thoughts. 

“hey ma, i was thinking you should get your eyes checked,” he said. 

“miles what did you just say?” 

“not in that way, but like go to those doctors and get glasses. i’ve been noticing you squinting or not being able to read boards and stuff.”

you glanced over at him and shook your head, “i think i’m fine, i don’t need no doctors or anything.”

miles just shrugged, deciding not to argue with you at that moment. it definitely wasn’t the end there especially when miles cares about your well-being dearly, but he just put it on the back of his head for now. 

skipping to the next day, you were in class with miles when the teacher decided to do powerpoint notes. you groaned in your mind at the fact. you didn’t want to admit you needed glasses, plus it’s completely normal for people not being able to see far away. there’s literally nothing wrong, is what you continued to tell yourself. trying to jot down the notes as best as you can, you snuck a look over at miles’ paper, deciding to copy his notes since you couldn’t really see the board. suddenly, miles shifted his position causing you to not be able to see his paper. 

“psst, miles can you please let me copy your notes?” you whispered. he shifted his paper back to you so you can copy his notes, before saying, “what did i tell you yesterday, y/n?” you chose not to reply, pretending that you didn’t hear him, continuing to copy his notes. “i know you hear me, babe,” he kept on trying to tell you until you asked the teacher if you could use the bathroom. your thought process being that leaving might get him to drop it. miles just huffed knowing that you wouldn’t listen to him, when an idea popped in his head. 

you returned from the bathroom around seven minutes later. knowing that you had even more notes to catch up on, you picked up your pencil and quickly dropped it when you looked down at your notebook. 

your notebook was flipped to random page and the words, “GET UR EYES CHECKED” was written across the page. you sent a glare over at the only person that could be the culprit. 

“if i make an appointment, will you get off my back?” you asked.

“of course, baby,” miles gave you the purest smile as if he has done no wrong. you rolled your eyes at him before bringing at hand to sit over your mouth, trying to hide the smile growing on your face. you knew your boyfriend meant well, so there was no way that you were actually mad or annoyed at him. 

the rest of the class went by fast now that you had miles cooperating with you and willing to share notes quickly. by the end of class, miles pulled you out of class quickly with a tug of your wrist to the cafeteria. getting your lunch and going to your bench, miles pulled out his phone, shuffling through apps and the internet looking for the nearest optometrist. finding one and pulling up their phone number, before he called them to book you an appointment, he told you, “sabes que lo hago porque te quiero mucho? i love you.” you simply looked away, hiding your face and mumbling the three precious words back. 

miles booked you an appointment about three days later from when he called. there was no doubt that miles was going to the appointment with you. you would've asked to come with you if he hadn't anyways.

you've never been to an optometrist before so naturally you were nervous. you thought you would be able to have miles with you the whole time, but your lifeline was broken when you were pulled into a room in the back and miles couldn't go with you. frowning when you had to let go of your boyfriend’s hand, miles gave you a reassuring squeeze.

the whole process was weird for you, the drying eye drops, looking into a little hole and seeing a hot air balloon, and the constant asking of "which is better? one to two?" but finally everything was over. you went back to sit in the waiting room with miles, telling him about the weird experience. a couple minutes of waiting around when the optometrist called you back and miles was allowed with you this time.

"well, you do need glasses and here's the prescription. we have a couple options of glasses out on display that you can try on or order some elsewhere simply with proof of your prescription."

you took the paper and thanked the doctor. leaving hand in hand in miles, you didn't even wanna look at his face knowing that he would have a smug "i told you so" look on his face. you walked in the direction of the display glasses, looking at each one by one. grabbing a simple one with your favorite color as the frames, you tried them on and looked in the mirror before looking over at miles.

"sooo, what do you think?"

"i think you look like a cute nerd."

"shut up because both of us know who the actual nerd is here," you crossed your arms.

"i'm just joking, mami. i like those on you."

you hummed before going to the front desk and asked for those frames. the lady at the counter put in an order for you and told you that it would take about a week and a half for them to be ready. you nodded and proceeded to pay when miles grabbed your hand and moved it so he could pay.

"i'm paying babe. you look cute in them so it's on me," he said and tapped his phone on the card reader before you could protest. you were thankful that the optometrist here didn't charge you a whole kidney for them because you knew glasses could be expensive.

walking out the optometrist, you wanted to hold your tongue but you knew miles had a point in it all, "thank you for taking care of me, amor," you mumbled. miles stopped on the sidewalk and pulled you into a hug.

"i would say i told you so after everything, but i'm always here to you, mama." giving you a peck, you both continued to stroll down the sidewalk, holding each other's hands on the way to the dorms.

"miles?" he gave a hum in response. "can we get ice cream before we go back to the dorms?" you asked.

[livelovecucumber]

a question related to your post about hitting your ugw, do you have any big regrets about your weight loss process in particular or advice you'd give to your past self (or someone with similar goals)? and, since most of us are at least partially motivated by the idea of being less of a target for negative attention if we get thinner, would you say hitting your ugw actually made your life easier socially or just came with different problems?

First of all I’ll make a separate post on my advice and what helped me get to my ugw, but as for my regrets on my journey; I regret eating the way I did. I was vegetarian at the time and ate a lot of very processed vegetarian food and meat substitutes, which is not good for you, and lacks nutritional value. I also drank a lot of caffeine. I will not be doing any of that this time around as my health got greatly affected last time.

I would also say I regret not being more mindful of others, how my 3d behaviour affected others. Others seemed like they weren’t prone to this behaviour so I could say whatever I wanted and talk bad about myself or food around them. It’s extremely egotistical to think this way bc any small thing you say can affect someone negatively. So this time around I will keep all food and self hate chat to myself and those that specifically ask. I am not a victim and shouldn’t feel sorry for myself. All that does is make my behaviour towards others distasteful, pathetic and non-compassionate.

As for how it affected my social life: I’d say it created a different problem. Food became such a central theme that I neglected my mental health and my relationships, so they collapsed. I also felt like everyone around me either seemed envious, lustful or worried, which none of those were pleasant. I felt like I was constantly being worriedly watched over by the people around me or just judged/envied by them. It was isolating. People assume you can take more shit, at they same time they feel sorry for you (or pretend to). It’s a weird thing. I found people made wayyy more comments (negative & positive) abt my body when I was underw8 compared to overw8. No one would talk about my looks when I was overw8. I was at school at the time so the social dynamics didn’t really change THAT much as we all had established relationships. But you will find people that are worth keeping, that really are there for YOU, not ur body. Those are the keepers.

PS: Don’t talk shit abt food or ur body in front of other people that don’t ask for it. It’s egotistical and you can seriously damage someone, even if they don’t say it bothers them. Just don’t do it. Don’t infect other people.

[shakingparadigm]

no one’s talking about that half-naked alien petting till and i am both glad but also haunted by that. please tell me that wasn’t implying what i think it is. till has gone through wayyy too much and i will literally sob if it turns out he’s gone through this too

I had a post drafted about that but I didn't know how to feel about posting it at first. I'm just gonna reiterate it here though.

The entire first verse of ROUND 6 was actually pretty uncomfortable to watch, at least for me. I genuinely thought we were going to delve into that territory, you know. And I wouldn't put it past VIVINOS of all people to do it. The dim lighting, alcohol bottles, the very familiar environment of private rooms and drunk cruelty, it all resembles certain acts and situations that are unfortunately common within the performance industry. ALIEN STAGE obviously emphasizes the horrific aspects of stardom and could be read as a commentary on that kind of culture as a whole (constant performativity, lack of autonomy, performers as objects possessed by those of higher power, literal cutthroat competition, etc.), so exploring the topic of assault isn't unlikely, especially when it's so prevalent in that kind of fame. Still, I was jarred when I first watched the video.

The way that they handled Till was upsettingly familiar to me. It was slightly easier to bypass when Urak was simply shoving him via telekinesis. But a group of large, drunk aliens violently putting their hands on him, grabbing him by the neck and bending him on the table (it was at this point I began to feel a bit squeamish), it became a little too real? For me at least. And then there's your main point, the assaulting alien that was clothed in the scene before is now naked in the next, save for the open, unbuttoned shirt. And Till is on the ground next to him, his hair carded through and scratched by giant hands. Till is disheveled and sweating. It seems this was the lowest point of his night, seeing as how he dreams up an angelic apparition of Mizi. An escape, a salvation. Someone that could offer him a soft, gentle respite to balm the pain of his abuse. The way he desperately reaches out, shaking and exhausted, it's painful.

I know it's not explicitly shown in the video. It's not implied in posts (although from what I hear, there's traces of something similar in the Anakt Kit book), but you can't deny the thoughts that the imagery brings to mind, especially when said imagery is so vivid and visceral. I won't claim that this is the absolute message the team was trying to convey, nor that this is the correct way to perceive that scene, just that the pieces leading to this interpretation are there. VIVINOS videos are meticulously crafted, and the whole collection deals with disturbing concepts and topics. If they wanted to imply something, they'd know how to do it. Anyway, the first scenes struck a chord in me, to say the least.

[alexging]

sean diaz + daniel diaz modern hcs

i kind of forgot this was exclusively modern at the end just ignore that LMFAO

- sean has no social media presence whatsoever

- a lot of people from school follow him but he only follows lyla and his track team back 😭 popular loner energy 🥀🐺

- i feel like if sean went to hs now hed be sm more popular esp w girls but hes rlly humble so he doesnt see it at all

- hes stupid and just thinks theyre being nice

- it gets on lylas nerves bc he refuses to believe anybody wants him 😭

- all his stories are like fireworks he posted when he was thirteen that he never bothered to delete

- its titled Highlights bc he doesnt know how to make an aesthetic instagram

- if anything, if he posts now its skate videos, drawings, or funny pics of daniel

- sean def takes 0.5x photos of daniel where his eyes go two diff directions and threatens to send them to lyla whenever he starts acting up

- daniel always throws a tantrum and esteban gets mad and tells sean to delete the pics (he doesnt)

- speaking of daniel he def got wayyy into skibidi toilet

- daniel tries to explain skibidi toilet n sean just tunes him out and says “uh huh” every so often

- hes those impressionable kids that gets into literally anything on the internet. among us, squid games, ROBLOX FOR SURE. sticky ipad baby energy overall!

- sean plays roblox with daniel on very rare occasions. i can imagine daniels avatar is decked out with limited items and sean is a bacon haired woman 😭

- daniel has definitely swiped estebans card a couple times under his nose for his robux…

- daniel purposely chooses games hes good at to watch sean struggle and die over and over again

- daniel watches weird kid youtube videos like… among us 24 hour challenge with spiderman and elsa giving birth kind of videos. sean gets really pissed off partly bc theyre rotting daniels brain and partly bc daniel always put it at max volume in the living room

- once sean gets paid he always goes thrifting. he fs goes to the bins and finds dirty dookie drawls every weekend 😭 but its worth it bc he finds cool shit

- as a skater boy i feel its obligatory for him to wear those afflication types of clothing as well as ironic graphic tees

- sean def wears baggy jeans in 2023 🙅‍♀️ none of that straight leg jeans from the game!!

- he also probably loves those ironic wolf shirts w the galaxy print n thinks theyre so funny

- sean also buys clothes in his style for daniel from the thrift n records 360s of daniel in his skater outfits

- “can i go play roblox now?” “no u have to cover ur nose when u turn around”

- got a buzzcut and surprisingly it looked really good

- esteban, daniel, lyla, and practically everyone else in his life kept making fun of him for being bald and would rub his head like a genie bottle tho

- daniels go-to is “well- well at least i don’t look like… look like caillou!” bc i imagine he tries to make funny comebacks but always stutters in the middle 😭😭

- eventually grew it back out bc he got annoyed at everyone making fun of him. they dont see his blond album cover early 2000s vision 💔

- daniel has no room to talk bc sooner or later he goes to the barber and gets a fucked edgar bowlcut

- sean laughs until he can barely breathe 😭 when lyla sees she TRIES to cheer him up about it but its too late

- even esteban laughs a little but only when daniel cant see bc he knows how much itd hurt him

- back to the blond album cover… sean LOVES music. his playlists are hours long

- i feel like he indulges in a super LARGE range of music likeee from bad bunny to deftones to pinkpantheress

- everybody hates it when he has aux and boos him off

- when esteban orders mexican food, sean and daniel both get horchata. sean dgaf if hes grown he still loves it!!

- i imagine esteban slowly stopped enforcing mexican food and culture overtime. bc of this, daniel knows barely any spanish and has 0 spice tolerance. sean always makes fun of him bc he goes gets water after a couple hot cheetos

- daniel tries to recreate those videos of people eating carolina reapers in hot sauce to prove a point and almost dies

- sean absolutely LOVES halloween. horror movies, costumes, the weather, everything abt it

- a part of him always gets jealous of daniel bc hes no longer considered trick or treating age anymore

- lowkey hed be willing to pull up in a full body costume just so he can trick or treat again

- when watching horror movies, sean will get way too immersed and start judging the people in the movies 😭

- daniels not allowed to watch but he peaks around the corner when estebans not watching

- “why the fuck is she just standing there? RUN! WHAT THE FUCK DUDE?!”

- “language mijo”

- he acts like he cld fight off the killer and explains his mastermind plan during the movie

- he doesnt admit it but he gets jumpy after a horror movie 😭 esteban and daniel take advantage of this every single time

- sean daniel and esteban are a tight knit family REGARDLESS of sean’s moodiness and daniel’s annoying gen alpha brainrot theyre so 😢

yes im aware that 2016 wasnt tjat long ago but i dont want to imagine sean diaz enjoying dank memes and saying boi 💔

[thegreatpapaya666]

Hey so I was really curious because I was looking in your pinned post. Like a creep. I saw that you shipped...fresh x nightmare?? And like over my years in the undertale fandom I never even began to think of that..I'm. so curious why??? If you don't mind sharing? ??? Like I can ...kinda. maybe see it

LMFAOOO IT'S OKAY WE STAN CREEPY NERDS HERE (i'm one myself >:3

So I can't even begin to explain how much thought I've put into this silly goofy little crackship

And I have a bunch of different headcanons about it and it doesn't quite make sense but here you go! I love talking about this because I have wayyy too much knowledge of Undertale AUs XDDD

I like the headcanon of them both being somewhere on the aromantic and asexual spectrums. For Fresh, he's canonically said to be a parasite rather than an actual Sans, and since parasites proliferate asexually, he has no concept of what sex is. And because of this, he has no concept of gender, either. The only reason he uses he/him pronouns is because the first thing he possessed was male. Fresh is also emotionally stunted and has a limited understanding of people and how to navigate interactions with them. The creator of Fresh, LoverOfPiggies (formerly known as CrayonQueen) has even said that Fresh enjoys kissing because he thinks it's fun, but he doesn't understand why people make emotional connections because of it. As for Nightmare, he seems to have little to no interest in romance or sex. Since he feeds off negativity and both of those are generally associated with positivity, there's a low chance he'd want that kind of relationship with someone else.

Fresh is an intelligent, go-with-the-flow type parasite who struggles with empathy, receiving affection, and understanding other people's emotions, though the longer he stays in one body, the more human-like he becomes. The only emotion he can easily comprehend is fear, specifically the fear of dying, and when Fresh delivers this monologue, his need for survival, want to be entertained, and pessimistic outlook on existence are highlighted. Even the form he takes and the silly weapons he uses (like wiffle bats and furby bombs) are calculated moves meant to appear non-threatening and help make as little enemies as possible, all coming back to his need to survive. And being a parasite, he needs to harm others to live. He enjoys tormenting people, though he doesn't do it often because he wants to stay on as many people's good sides as he can. When addressing his point of view that everyone is selfish, the monologue touches upon his existential dread when he recognizes that his place in the universe is relatively meaningless. This shows that he wants to mean something and he wants to have more power and influence than he does, especially to secure an environment where he doesn't have to worry as much about death or eventually becoming bored.

Nightmare is the guardian of negativity and completely devoid of empathy. He only feels pure hatred and wants the entire multiverse to be subjected to eternal suffering, and he takes pleasure in other's pain. Due to his sadistic tendencies, his main goal is to take over the multiverse and inflict suffering on every AU in existence, corrupting positive AUs and subjecting them to eternal pain. The only obstacle standing is his way is his brother, Dream, who is the guardian of positivity.

Fresh and Nightmare have similar ideals and outlooks on life. They're also both sadistic in nature, take pleasure in hurting others, and feel little to no emotions, let alone romantic or sexual attraction. They also both have a limited understanding of other people's emotions and have no problem using others for their own benefit. In his monologue, Fresh states [I’m better and I deserve to get what I want, and I wanna mess with people and I want to hurt people, and since, ey, I gotta possess people to survive, I might as well ENJOY the process as well, ya know dawg? I wanted to take over the multiverse because yeah, it extended far beyond somethin so noble as ‘helpin’ people, I wanted to take over because I COULD, and because it was FUN, and because I couldn’t be STOPPED. I wanted the power to enslave E͏̷͏V̨̀͜E̸͠͠R̡̢͠Y̸͢͟T҉̢͠H͏͜͞Ì̴̕N̡̨̕G͡. The power to enslave everything. But. I can’t do that. Can I?] Keeping in mind that Nightmare is one of the most powerful beings in the multiverse, and his only opponent is Dream, and the Bad Sanses aren't quite enough to help him obtain complete control of the multiverse, if Nightmare and Fresh were to team up, that would greatly improve both of their chances of getting what they want. Fresh on a base level wants to survive, be entertained, and have unrivaled power. Nightmare on a base level wants to survive, subject the world to endless torture, and have unrivaled power. And because Fresh is a sadist, Nightmare's goal of subjecting the world to endless torture would be his idea of entertainment. So if Nightmare, Fresh, and the rest of the Bad Sanses had a shot at removing Dream as a threat to their plan (not necessarily killing him, seeing as Nightmare is the only one who can combat Dream's 'immortality' and there's a chance he may not be able to defeat Dream alone), they would have little to no setbacks in their pursuit of ultimate power.

So, all of this to say that Fresh and Nightmare's transactional relationship keeping them both alive, entertained, and unstoppable, would make them a good fit for a queer platonic relationship, or QPR. A QPR is a partnership between two or more people that exists in the gray area between a platonic relationship and a romantic and sexual relationship, which is very common with aroace people

And by "good fit," I mean the most toxic, hilarious, entertaining, confusing, and thought-provoking QPR in the history of the entire world.

Thank you anon for keeping me up until one in the morning because this ask interested me so much <3

This is usually where someone says "careful, papaya, your autism is showing," but oh well.

Anyway, I hope this character analysis gave you some insight on why I think this ship is cool! I spent three hours researching and finding credible sources, so I'm really pumped to be able to share my work with you!

Thank you so much for the ask this absolutely brightened my day ilysm anon

[agirlwithglam]

what to do when someone makes you feel insecure

✧*. * · ~ thewizardliz 💋💜

✬ i very very very very highly recommend thewizardliz. shes been so helpful to me this past year and if youre not watching her, then what are you doing with your life?? she is the secret which gave me self love and confidence in myself!! i love this woman so much, when she uploads a video my day just brightens☀️.

This post is going to be completely about her video and the points she made. These are just some summaries but it’s best to watch the video bc the way she says it makes all the difference. full credits to this stunning queen for this post. ✬

★ look at the kind of insults someone gives you;

most people hate on others and say nasty things about others because they feel bad about themselves.┊ so what are they insulting you about? your looks, your intelligence, your personality, what is it? remember that "everything someone is insulting you about with no reason- that is something that they are insecure about with themselves." when someone says something to you, understand that it's just a reflection of themselves. and then just pity them and leave bc u dont need that kind of negative energy around you baby💅

★ find yourself. create yourself. KNOW WHO YOU ARE.

"when you know who you are without this person, no one can shake or rock your boat! your boat has to be stable first." you need to learn to be so stable and secure in yourself that whatever comes in, it cannot affect you in anyway! if someone comes up to you and says "you're purple" would you take it seriously? no ofc not!! you may even laugh in their face because you know that you're not purple so whatever anyone says- it does not affect you. so those insults would go 1 ear in, and through the other ear out.

★ never allow anyone to talk down on you.

when you allow someone to talk down at you for the first time, then it wont stop. they will just keep going on and it will only get worse down the line. "toxic people dont get nicer down the line." so once you tell them to stop and they continue, that is officially disrespecting me. you can leave, cut them out of your life.

★ give them a passive aggressive comment back.

(in the video liz gave some examples of things to say back and DAMNN she ate it up!) just adopt the ✨bimbo mentality✨ and act stupid :) example from her video:

someone: "you dont look good today... you look kinda ugly" liz: "aww thankyou, you know i love to look at you and everyday you just give me inspiration to be confident because if you look like that and you can be confident, then i can too."

UMMM OKAYY SHE ATE THAT AND LEFT NO CRUMBS 😋😍

★ are they even worth your time and energy??

absolutely not. those people are WAYYY beneath you honey. walk away. just walk away from these pathetic people. you will find SO MUCH better than them for they are literally UNDER THE BARE MINIMUM. "if someone has to insult you to bring you down, girl you're already above them" also look at the people you're constantly spending your time with. do they help you? do they grow you? do they add ANY kind of value?? no? then why are they still there?? why are YOU still hanging around them??? bc when does your life change? when YOU change.

★ we accept the love that we think we deserve.

why on earth do u think that this is the best you can do?? why do you think that someone who disrespects you is the best you can do? do you really think you're not worthy of the same amount of love you give out?? there are literally people out there who believe that they deserve the best and they get that! but you here are doubting yourself?? huhh?? honey what??

★ what do YOU want?

so many times we're constantly thinking 'how can we make this person happy' , 'what does this person want' , etc etc. but what about you honey? what do you want out of life, out of your relationships, etc.? genuinely, they should actually feel BLESSED to be in the same room as you, to breathe the same air as you. and here you're letting people come and talk down on you? like are you serious? PROTECT YOURSELF.

★ surround yourself with people that grow with you.

people who you surround you with, they should make you feel like the king/ queen of earth! they are meant to hype you up! they should tell you that you're amazing and beautiful! because if you don't then theres no benefit. why be with icky toxic people when you can be with people who will love you the way you love them? "im too pretty to accept this behaviour".

★ lead with your actions, not your words.

its time you stop saying stuff like "im gonna leave if you continue doing this" , "i will do this... i will do that.." no. just leave. you've said it once and they continued? shut up and leave.

start to create your exit plan. i understand that for some people, they arent able to just leave because of problems related to money, health, knowledge, a community etc. so thats why you need to start creating an exit plan.

if its money you need then start thinking: how can i get money? what job? how can i save up to live on my own? if its friends so you don't feel lonely: how can i make friends? can i join a club or a community with people like me? how can i start to meet new people? if its knowledge so you understand more about it: how can i start to educate myself about this? can i go to a library and find a book on this? can i search it up online? is there anyone else who's been through the same think and i can take advice from them?

★ not everyone you lose is a loss.

sometimes a loss is a gain. if people in your life right now have been disrespecting you and now they've left or you've left, thats a gain!! looking back the people i was friends with before- i needed them so i could grow and gain knowledge. and when they stopped being a significant part of my life, that was a gain. "it wasnt a loss, it was a lesson"

"just know that you're the queen of the earth and you can do and get anything you want if you set your mind to it."

"if you have a good heart and pure intentions, then you deserve people with the same intentions and the same heart."

[foreverisntenough]

what is your fav Trent lore?

Oh my god... What a question... I need people to send me theirs!

Often when I think about lore unfortunately a lot of insane things come to mind lol like bad things but I'll choose to not talk about those RN. I already shared some today lol.

Honestly.... Trent lore for me often falls into a group of just attributes of his whether that be physical or like circumstantial. I will reblog this again with example links another time BUT for now...

Liking being alone. This always gets me or reminds me of the theragun video but like this boy actively tells other people he's with he'll just be like nah, not interested in all that. like okay we get it??? Leave you alone got it 😂

How shit PLG is honestly just jokes... but in general his ties to family. On the flip side of PLG but I love big brother Trent. Like sharing his clothes with Marcel or when he says 'my little brother' Honestly, family Trent is my favorite. It makes me melt. so in lieu of of that... UNCLE TRENT 🥺🥺🥺 Aura baby has my heart.

Bow Legs, Tummy, Lips... all of it. You know when you see clips of Trent's lips and you're like wow those lips yum but it's from ages ago but it's just quintessinal Trent. I don't know how else to articulate this

His like... what I would call 'catchphrases? The accent? Him saying 'nah' or 'seee' or 'wow' I could go on whenever he speaks. Someone just recently posted a compilation.

Speaking of him talking...But the way he speaks about football. I have to find the clips but it's so on brand for him to deliver like lengthy monologues about footy. Like as cheesy as this sound he is such a student about the game. Like he's so educated in it and the way he speaks

Any nerd core always get me. Like when he talks about liking to watch certain movies, or like just even nerdy behavior if he's speaking about a topic that he knows wayyy too much about. There are times were I feel like he momentarily forgets his 'nonchalant' persona

Trent's giggles send me. Like him cracking from trying to be 'cool Trent.' because it's just genuine Trent coming through. Like he can't help himself from thinking something is funny, or he's being cheeky himself.

Sorry this was longer and terribly articulated but I hope you get them. I'll grab links later. xx

[sirenc0re]

hello, sirenc0re! i come here to ask if you have any RTC character headcanons that you wouldn't mind divulging?

ohhh i have a few! these are somewhat disorganized, i dont think ive really shared these outside of a single reddit comment. anyways:

penny loves boybands ofc (backstreet boys, nsync, obviously 'seven up' before it split) but further than that i think she likes 60s-70s pop too- fleetwood mac, kate bush, the beatles, etc

ezra is the one that's genuinely really into gangsta rap. NWA, tupac, snoop, dr dre... and of course eminem (though he isnt really a gangsta rapper. it's adjacent) i think rap in general is something he likes. though he's like, a smartass. so i think that at least early on he would "like" it the same way he likes penny's boybands (something to mock as the pinnacle of empty and vapid commercialism) before he actually starts appreciating it as art (JK-47 notwithstanding) and not something he has to prove against. so im saying he would genuinely like tribe called quest. it's in my mind. i am manifesting it. as a side note, i jokingly wanted to be like AND HE LISTENS TO MACKLEMOREEEE but im a hard ass and in the timeline that exists in my head it's 2009. and in 2009 mackle had the penis song as the first track of his debut album. make of that what you will

ocean's whole straight-lace schtick is her twisted version of a teenage rebellion against her hippy parents. she also makes herself seem better off than she actually is. im of the firm belief that pretty much everyone in uranium (except perhaps constance's parents and misha's adoptives) is broke. and i think that with her parents lifestyle, ocean would be on the lower end of that spectrum and it's a big insecurity of hers that she tries very hard to project against to varying degrees of success

noel says he was saving up to go to france, but if you looked at his bank account there would be maybe 200~ saved there. most of his wages went to supporting himself and his single mother

post-cyclone au, i think ocean would shift away from politics and become a personal injury attorney

post-cyclone au, ricky becomes a sci-fi erotica author… i like to think he's extremely successful in that particular niche

post-cyclone au, ocean and noel's relationship becomes wayyy less hostile. they still 'fight' but all the venom has been sucked out of their words. one time he tripped her in the hallway inbetween class periods, which prompted her to halfheartedly kick his ankles, which leads to a 'fight' that gets her in trouble in school for the first time in an actual decade (she's pissed)

post-cyclone au, constance's epiphany about life being beautiful makes her a lot more bold. which is to say she now has the confidence to go on a million little sidequests for no other reason than to experience the bounties of existence. penny wants to go to a concert 3 hours away but she's still banned from the bus? constance knows how to drive and the unlimited trust of her parents, hop in

very much inspired by ray winter's take on misha when he was answering asks about it so i've absorbed it because it makes sense: misha was a class clown back home and pretty well-liked. he's such a solid and passionate dude, and way more kind than he's allowed to be because everything in canada seems to hate him. i believe that his 'attitude' problem mostly stems from loneliness, (which is kinda exerted on him but also enforced by him after a certain point since i think he retracts himself into his phone with talia rather than be in the real world where he is miserable) and that he would have done so much better if he had one genuine friend he could talk to. in a post-cyclone au, he gets a bunch of those, and no longer feels like all of those emotions are being stiffled or bottled up

those are all the HCs that are relevant i think ^_^

[stuffzwithazz]

little hu analysis time!

i love hu, she’s grown on me a lot since pt2 dropped ehehe heh i’d like to make a formal apology to her for thinking she was the culprit for a year

this is just an analysis about hu’s secret/secret quote because i’m a freshman sem 1 psychology major and i like this stuff ^^

spoilers for drdt obviously ^^

tw for suicide

as a quick recap: hu’s secret is “you were quite the hopeless child. dying once wasn’t enough, so you attempted suicide 3 times” and her secret quote is “i want to pay for what i did. but i still want to live” (something like that)

i’ll start w the secret quote bc it’s the simpler one^^

by “pay for what i did” i think she means laying up her life as comeuppance for her actions, whatever they might be. now im not sure if by attempted, it’s failed attempts or hu wanting to but chickening out at the last minute. either way my point stands

now onto the secret!! this is a bit of assumption and i could just be looking into it wayyy too much but ykw? its fun!

there’s one specific phrase i’d like to look at: “*dying once wasn’t enough*, so you attempted suicide 3 times”

if the wording is meant to be very specific, then this raises a question. those question being; what does she mean by “dying once”?

for this next part: spoilers for both corpse factory (the game) and the silent patient (a book by alex michaelides)

i’ll explain it in brief terms w/out any spoilers after those sections dw!! i just like using examples for things

CORPSE FACTORY SPOILERS:

near the end, noriko talks about aoi’s childhood and how aoi is under the impression that noriko’s childhood was better (it wasn’t but i digress) noriko mentions aoi said something like “my dad killed me, but i killed him, so it’s okay.” ignoring the last bit, what does aoi mean by “killed me?”

aoi’s dad was quite the violent and both verbally and physically abusive guy. there are things that people can say that are equivalent or even worse than being stabbed or shot upfront, like things such as

(tw for verbal abuse(?) i actually dk how to categorize these im sorry)

“i wish you were never born” or “i wish you died instead of ____!!”

these things hurt like hell, and in some cases you feel like it would have been better to literally be murdered

SILENT PATIENT SPOILERS

near the end of the book, alicia recounts the experience she had growing up with her dad and how one day, he killed her. sound familiar? it’s a similar story to what happened with aoi. then, when alicia writes in her diary about what theo did 5 years ago, she brings up this specific thing: theo had made gabriel choose between himself or alicia post finding out gabriel was having an affair w kathy. gabriel chose his own life over alicia’s, therefore proving he did cheat and shattering alicia’s hopes that gabriel really did love her. in her mind, it felt like being killed. again. in her words, “the dead doesn’t speak. gabriel has sentenced me to death.” hearing that the man who she loved for so long was going behind her back and would choose his life over her’s, when she knew she would value his is worse than being just brutally killed.

(SPOILERS OVER!!)

being said something so hurtful it feels like a stab in the stomach is a similar feeling that i think is the reasoning for the specific words of “dying once wasn’t enough”

im admittedly a bit sad that hu’s secret wasn’t talked about whatsoever during the trial, especially considering its subject matter, but it’s what she wanted so it’s okay

again, all of this is purely speculation on my part, and o could just be looking into the wording a bit too much…

ok analysis over!! lmk what you think ^^

[thatdeadaquarius]

HELLO IT IS I AGAIN (Razor's mom /real)

So you know those imposters aus where characters chase the reader for being an 'impersonator'?

What if... It's a continuation from my ask (where we meet Razor first before everyone), and Razor is just confused at the patrolling knights near Wolvendom constantly asking him if he have saw 'the impostor'

Tbh he just shakes his head. Who tf is the impostor????? Wtf is an impostor???????

Many question marks later..

He had encountered an epiphany (not really it's just the Springvale ppl talking about someone copying the creator's looks).

The 'Impostor' they have been searching is you.

But you're not an impostor! Razor knows it! Andrius knows it! And with how the nature and the monster responded to you, Teyvat knows it too!

So like the good son he is, he sheltered you even more severely.

Ur not allowed to go out of his sights at this point (he'll still take you to places with many lampgrasses if you still wanna make a crown w it)

And my imagination ends there, do you think there's something else he'd do?

Ty for answering my last request btw, ur the best and I hope you get your favorite characters w one 10 pull and your desired artifacts w the best stats <3

Much love and sweets

-Razor's mom

RAZOR'S MOM!! HELLO aw im so glad u liked it :)

Srry about the late reply! 💜💜💜

Ok, so I think this is a good time to point to my shiny

Writing Requests/About Me Post I have pinned on my 👉 blog!!👈💅 taaa daaaa :) i did it guys here ya go

Yall have been GREAT so far abt keeping the requests chill and fun, and i dont have that many "Donts" that arent obvious (homophobia, transphobia, ableism,etc)

♡

Dont worry Razor Mom, i just wanted to use this as a way to talk about this!! /nm /gen

♡

About Imposter AU, there are plenty of other blogs/posts that write for that or posts under SAGAU tag! :)

I said wayyy earlier on in some of my first asks, but basically I really want to lighten up the Genshin SAGAU / Isekai tag and branch out from all these darker Imposter AUs :)

And also add more world-building posts or AUs <3

(language brainrot for example)!!

◇

TL;DR: I am not accepting hunting down/yandere/cult au/imposter au Genshin Sagau, only a funny or chill version of it.

Please check my writing rules post :)

Example: u look like Creator, but everybody's like, "oh lucky them wow rlly blessed, have a free drink, etc.

OR omfg where r they?? They descended to Teyvat oh fuck we lost our god-"

♡

Heres the Razor post !!!

If u wanna check it out :]

Cracks knuckles, Saddle up Baby, bc its time for my version of the Imposter AU 🤭😋😈

(and sorry for answering super late/possible scare Razor mom anon!! :'/ )

♡

So it begins rlly small right?

Like, Razor does not know the new knight patroling Wolvendom's borders

,, weird but ok, he thinks basically

And then when it was time to visit some domains a little closer to Springvale for grinding

(Or rlly just to get some of their tiny restaurants homemade food yumm)

He notices more Favonius knights lurking around than usual

Or at least widening their patrols

And hes like wtf?

Ur like, huh.

I'll ask Springvale ppl wtf goin on

The locals respond that the search for the Great Creator has begun.

...

...you and Razor: 👁👄👁 w h o m s t ❔️

◇

Upon further questioning

(which was apparantly weird that yall didnt know, but eh, u just used the whole "feral wolf child with feral blacksmith parent living in woods ignorance" excuse)

Admittedly yall, quite literally, live under a rock lmao

They explain theres a whole ass prophecy

Abt how the Great Architect would succumb to a long slumber somewhere else in the vast universe after making the planet.

And when the time is right, they will reconnect to Teyvat, and awaken, and descend in a mortal form

(like the archons)

◇

..but the kicker is nobody knows wtf they look like bc:

1. All that lore is hella crumbly and old, and very hard to translate

2. Mortal forms sometimes look different than god forms, so even if they did know some defining features of the Creator, that wasnt guaranteed to be them...

◇

(i.e. they will have brown eyes, well. Thats a fuckton of ppl with brown eyes innit? 💀)

♤

So thru certain signs, that this mysterious prophecy wooooo

Said would happen, the nations of Teyvat and their many supernatural inhabitants are aware the ultimate god has descended

(The crops flourished? Animals got more wily, many of the sick ppl got better for no reason, the Irminsul started regrowing/filling out its base- like how it looked like a lightning struck tree rn 💀)

So every country are now trying to find them to be the first to welcome them home

Needless to say its lowkey a competition

◇

Meanwhile you and Razor are just:

... (゜▽゜;)

"Haha yeah cool..."

(Andrius already told u what u r to Teyvat and explained to Razor)

Ur both immediately slapping a cloak on u and keeping the hood up all the time

Yall dont wanna be seperated :(

Ur both paranoid for diff reasons,

Razor's just scared his Lupical is going to be taken from him again bc there r better, more refined humans wanting to be ur Lupical ;-;

And ur like-

Omfg that sounds like sm work 💀

While its nice to daydream abt what itd be like to be famous, realistically,

U could not handle that shit.

People crowding you all the time?

U cant just look busted anywhere u go, like a midnight snack run

Ppl would also expect u be,

Responsible??

To act like a competent ruler maybe???

Hell no.

U just wanted to play a pretty gacha game and spoil ur skrunklies

(At least, if they do wanna call u that, they dont make u do anything political 💀 but u doubt it)

◇

Needless to say, Razor is glued to ur side everywhere u go.

A domain a half mile away? Oh he'll come with dw

Ur gonna go stop by that food merchant further up the road for ingredients? Cool he'll sniff the best ones!

Ur going to see Andrius??

Oh he needed to see him too-

😭😭🥺🥺 poor babe

♧

Surprisingly enough,

Or maybe not his house is right tf there

Diluc is the first person to actually recognize you.

Razor had been subtly steering u away from Mondstadt for 3 weeks now, ever since yall talked to the Springvale locals

An u cant say u didnt notice, but u werent rlly stopping him

You wanted to be like Venti, chillin among the ppl regardless of ur powers, not the Raiden Shogun :/

And maybe shock some ppl who dont know ur a god like him too lol

◇

Diluc had been looking around the lesser patroled areas of Mondstadt to search for the Architect

He didn't even need those incompetent knights to tell him their god had finally descended

He already saw the signs long before Mondstadt

Bc youve been in Wolvendom, the area has flourished over time, more fish in the water, more game to hunt and bigger, crows making circles in the sky despite there being no corpse

And one of the closest places to you,

Is the Dawn Winery.

Diluc's security against Venti began to hold up better, the staff didn't have to clean as much things like dirt or weather damage to the manor,

His hawk had never been faster delivering his letters, he almost thought the little guy had been drugged with something

◇

He patroled Stormterror's Lair, and deep in the woods surrounding the manor that the knights hadn't bother to go into

Afterall, he figured you'd never had a mortal form before, so u were unlikely to fend for urself for very long in the woods lol

so he wanted to find u quick (aww softy :')

He even made a trip out to the Thousand Wind Temple and Dragonspine (he did report that one to the knights, he didn't want Amber, Bennett, or Creator-forbid Klee, being the few pyro users to have to explore it)

Finally, after doing the further away locations, siginificant in history and rich with leftover magic

Diluc figured that's where you might land first, so he saved Wolvendom for last

It would at least let him check on that wolf kid and maybe get to talk to him long enough to ask him if he's seen anything unusual.

The lord of Dawn Winery manor heads into the Wolvendom woods, just as sunset colors the trees...

◇

It was a Friday evening, the sun was setting, the weather was pleasant and it was time for all of the Lupical to come together and eat a big feast!! :)

About once a month, Andrius will come out for a few nights and dine with all of yall

Hes an old wolf give him a break, he takes long naps

So u cook lots of Mondstadt favorites to eat on and a few Liyue dishes too

Razor, ur favorite helper, has helped u finish the last dish and is now romping around with the puppies bless <3

U guys have dragged ur coffee table dining table setup out to sit and eat at

Andrius lets out a not too loud, not too quiet howl, and as the wolves, Razor and you lmao join in

Yall dig in, bones flying everywhere, spagetti noodles flingling around, it would put toddlers to shame lol

◇

Diluc hears a howl that is too... big to be a regular wolf.

It filled the air of Wolvendom like no howl before it, as he used the glowing lampgrass to help light the path deeper

He sneaks past a hilichurl camp or two, all fast asleep

He scans the woods, and figures he'll search the woods besides the path after he gets to that old stone carved pit-

Food?

Diluc sniffs the air, and squints deeper into the forest

The black branches shade the way ahead, but just barely... he can see the flicker of orange and blue light?

He summons his claymore, bracing it on his shoulder, and creeps into the treeline to better hide him

◇

You swear to god (dammit swear to.. you??) someone is watching you.

You look around the piles of fluffy doggos, happy and stuffed full they r slowly forming puppy piles

Andrius is finishing his meat platter, also sitting on all four legs on the ground

Razor is splayed on his back beside you, eyes closed, his feet sticking out the other side of the table, u chuckle at him

But not a single Lupical seems to be looking at you.

Gulping down your last few bites, you scan the treeline

U refuse to be that bitch in a horror movie where their gut says smth is off and they brush it off or barely look at their surroundings

Turning around to the treeline behind you, u see something... red fur?

U sit up some more, peering over the bushes at the bottom of the trees

You meet a pair of warm brown eyes, widened like they're just as shocked to see you

As u notice his familiar red high ponytail (but also not?? Its weird going from 2D to 3D and still recognizing bitches)

U peer down at his chest, as he carefully stands out of the foliage-

That familiar star shaped button that u can press for the character menu screen, the same thats on Razor, on Benny, on Fischl, on Lisa-

Hovers over Diluc's chest.

◇

Diluc is in the bush, observing the human(???) stranger (he really doesnt want to attract the attention of that.. giant spirit wolf thing)

The figure sitting at a ... table?? (He can barely process all these absurdities at once, hes only got so much brain space)

Has sensed his presence, and as he grips his claymore, ready to demand answers,

Razor startles, and jumps up, smelling the pyro user, he summons his weapon-

The figure locks eyes with him, and all he sees is gold.

Diluc drops his claymore.

☆

♡

☆

Have a cliffhanger bc idk 🤷‍♂️ Also srry it wasnt exactly Mondstadt finding u, and it somehow turned into a whole scenario?? Idk man

🤧 welp i hope that was decent Razor mom! Tysm for ur sweet feedback abt our beloved son 🙏💜🐺

Feel free to always talk again, thru comments, asks whatever!! :D

♡

Cheers,

💀♒️

(guys im so stupid i coud've been signing off with this simple emoji combo the whole time,, 😭i didnt actually think abt emojifying my name, just making it look pretty with some of my fav emojis... 😔)

If anyone reads this u should let me know which one is better lol

💀♒️

OR

🌒🌧🌊Aquarius♒️🌌🌘

OR like a combo???

♡my beloved♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist

[charmac]

What was was experience like when you met Charlie? I’ve only met Glenn but I’m seeing Charlie this week and I’m nervous lol

Prepare yourself... because he is the most genuine celebrity I have ever met in my life, lmfao.

I honestly, confidently can say that there is no greater person to meet than Charlie Day. He really is exactly what you'd expect and then some.

I've met him a few times at this point so in terms of the experiences I've had, I'll direct you to this post from October and the day following that. I feel like I didn't explain too much of the context here, but basically he organically noticed me in the audience and stopped the on stage convo to ask me if I got the tattoo yesterday, which was really cool, and then after the panel he came up to me at the stage to sign my S10 DVD and then asked if there was anything else I wanted which was just so insane and then we went to the pop up bar and got a ton of free shots and what not. You can see my immediate thoughts after all of that:

The next week following was the NYC TASP live shows, and again he remembered me when he saw me at stage doors and came right up to say hi, which was awesome, and I talked to Mary Elizabeth separately too and she told me Charlie told her about the tattoo which is insane?? There were just a lot of small interactions those two nights between us that were really awesome, again just genuine shit.

March, again, so much shit happened that it would just be an essay to write out so I'll direct you to my posts about it from then, when I saw Charlie again after months and he immediately recognised me and remembered my name, then when he asked me for my input on the Mac and Dennis furniture situation (and agreed with me lol), and during that he took so much time with me like wayyy more than he should have lol, and then later that night at the bar was even more insane. I am not exaggerating when I say he spent a solid fifteen minutes just talking to us about Sunny. Like an insane amount of time where he was just this extremely genuine guy who was talking to us like we were friends just chatting about the show. I have never had that intimate of a conversation with anyone as famous as Charlie Day, and it was a real back and forth. Another ask regarding interactions with Charlie that night.

In summary, after meeting him I would lie my life down for that man anytime anywhere. It might be cringe to say but the days/nights I got to interact with Charlie are some of the greatest days of my life. Not just because of him, because there were a million other factors at play there, but he contributed largely to how fucking amazing my experiences at Sunny-related events have been.

AND I get being nervous, I am nervous every single time I meet any of them, but don't fret too much! I'm sure it will be a great night and I hope you have a ton of fun! He is the most chill, coolest, kindest guy I have ever met, and I hear that from sooo many other people too. Take photos and videos for us!

(And remember he will be in the writers room only a few days after you meet him... so plant some seeds... hah jk..)

[fizz-pop-thwip]

Trans Sam headcannies blink blink batting eyelids (BC I don't talk abt the TRUTH enough)

Binders wouldn't have been super accessible in the 90s-00s so I imagine he used some less safe methods.

He'd bind for wayyy longer then he was ment to

If he was on a hunt he kinda didn't have many options

He'd sit on the bed finally when they got back to a motel and just breathe deep breaths for a while

His ribcage just perpetually hurt, he was used to it

He started T in college and got top surgery not long after

Dean had known about him being trans long before Sam left for college but he didn't really understand how serious Sam was about it until he came to get Sam to find his dad and 'oh my god that's a whole ass man'

Dean helped him cut his hair real short tho when they were young

John was not very impressed when that happened

John didn't know until they saw eachother post college

John didn't really get it. He was a very 'your ruining your body' type dad but honestly I think he would have had bigger problems on his mind to make a big fuss out of it (John winchester makes a big fuss out of everything so maybe more, he wouldn't make a MASSIVE fuss)

Sam was disappointed about his dad's lack of support but it was expected

Dean was very impressed by the top surgery job. Actually, considering he had never even seen one before, he was probably amazed.

Sam used to do research about what a trans person was in libraries on the computers

Most of his gender envy (/jealousy?) would have come from dean

Sam didn't really realise till he hit his pre-teen years

But he only found a name for how he felt at like 13-14

He told Dean about a year later

"I don't really understand much of what your saying, but if that's how you feel I just want to know that if that's what makes you happy.. I can get behind that, okay?" -Dean

Sam didn't cry but he gave Dean a massive hug. Emphasis on DID NOT cry those little water marks on Dean's shirt must've already been there.

Sam could only get so much from the internet so when he met another trans guy at college he was super excited and was able to learn a lot

He hated it when the showers in motels had mirrors right across from them

He'd leave the fan off intentionally so the mirror would fog up

[kaddyssammlung]

Im the stc lore anon. Im very aware of the old interviews. In fact thats exactly part of why i get so frustrated with the fan interpretations of lore. Because its one of the things in my view that debunks the romance about sleep theories. Its just very frustrating feeling so strongly about my theory the fan lore is not canon while seemingly most of the fandom assumes the fan lore is absolutely 100 percent canon and just needs some more puzzle pieces to unluck the True Story. I used to believe the fanmade lore, but i no longer can do so especially when ive seen various bits of concerning behavior in the fandom where i think people take it wayyy too far. I think the only "canon" interpretation of the lyrics is the real person behind the masks life story, otherwise theres no "canon" and we are supposed to do whatever we want. But i think things have just gotten wayyy out of control with the its about a romance with sleep theory. What makes me actually hate it is how much people insist the people on stage are "characters" (i regularly see disclaimers saying "dont worry im just talking about the characters not the real people" when i really dont think they are "characters" in the way people think... this is not an anti fanfic/shipping/headcanon about real people stance btw i dont care about that as long as you dont go too far, i just dont like the insistence theyre "characters" because that feels so dehumanizing) and how rude people are if you dont agree with the fanlore (the vitriol aimed at alternate interpretations is really disgusting, especially the "why are sexualizing the lyrics, youre a bad person" crowds vitriol and insistence theyre the Good Fans while if you dont agree you deserve awful things). Otherwise, i just get *personally* annoyed with how often i come across the "its totally canon that its about sleep theories" when i dont want to *personally* hear those theories at all. I hope im making sense, and maybe im being an asshole in how im expressing my views idk. I just really feel like an outsider in this fandom and get so happy when i come across people who actually agree with me because it makes me feel less alone and like im not stupid or whatever. Just have fun, let the music mean something special to you, and remember the band (and their fans for that matter, going back to the vitriol thing) are human beings, thats what ultimately matters. I just think the lore as the fans see it has gotten into concerning territory. Wont leave any more anons about this for now because i dont want to drag this out more, i just saw your replies/post and wanted to respond in hopes what im trying to say will finally come out right (im not always the best with words, im very blunt, im very opinionated, etc)

Good Morning or Guten Morgen or Happy Timezone

I get your point and I don't think that you're an asshole.

I think you are struggling with something that many struggle and the fans that you call out also struggle with that: it's acceptance. Or accepting what is; in that case it's fan's who act a certain way or have different opinions or see things in a different way.

Acceptance is a mastery. It's something that is very hard to achieve.

Your situation reminds me of something that I could not accept for a long time in that fandom. So I'm going to talk about that.

This will probably be a long post so I'm hiding this and also mental health topics will come up.

I always had this assumption that everyone could see what I see when I look at Vessel. I'm talking concerts photos and “peeled Vessel” and the things that get revealed when the paint comes down. To me his scars are one of the few things that I can observe and so can everyone else, right?! There are so many even the ones from a certain attempt on both his right and his left forearm.

Well...right?! They are right in your face....

No! They are right in my face. I got into weird arguments about this topic. Which is a weird thing to argue about because this topic is a very painful one and also a strange one. There is a giant stigma around it. There are even “mental health professionals” on YouTube who refuse to talk about that topic and pretend that it does not exist because YouTube does not like these topics. It's a weird topic.

But it was exactly that what got me into the lyrics so much. I wanted to figure out the story behind what I could see.

All I found was myself and the parts of me that I denied that even existed. I stopped searching for the story and started to face myself instead.

I found a great new spiritual teacher because of that. She teaches acceptance and also sacred neutrality.

It's been almost a year now with her teachings and me finally accepting that not everyone can see what I see when I look at Vessel.

There will always be humans out there who call all of this an assumption. To them he did not self-harm and does not have scars from a certain attempt. To them that's an assumption while for me it's a fact.

Those fans are not worse then me and I'm not better then them. I can accept that they just have a different view on everything.

It's the same with lore interpretations or the way that some treat them in a (your words) dehumanizing way.

I can accept all that I just don't read it or interact with them. I let them have their view on things and I have my weird view on things.

I argued with fans that said things like: I don't even like their music or listen to their music but....

They are a thing, too btw.

When it comes to Sleep btw. To me it's an entity. They are very real btw. I learned how to deal with them, too. But I can totally understand that many humans out there just don't get topics like entities or idk...I mean I saw fairy-like beings right in front of me one day. 99% of humans would probably just say that I just made this up. I can understand that or rather I learned how to accept that.

When I first heard about Sleep I thought about that day and the fairies. I just thought...maybe that guy is a bit weird like me?!

We all had different experiences that shaped us. And also some fans really are just 14.

One of the reasons why I left the big Discord for example was because they allow all ages. I had an argument with a nine year old! That's when my alarm bells came online and I thought to myself: no...not okay! Some fans act a certain way because they are actual kids.

Like I said....I found a place within me to accept all that.

But it took a lot of facing myself to find that acceptance. And it's a process that is on-going.

Maybe this helps you...maybe not....maybe it clarifies something...maybe not.

I'm learning everything from her btw. It's energy work....energy work means you work with your soul, your higher self, higher dimensional beings....all theses things.

One thing that I forgot....accepting something and agreeing with it is not the same thing. I can totally disagree but still accept that something.

[actual-changeling]

In a pervious post you said "the implications throughout the show that Crowley was a pretty powerful and high-ranking angel, and is still one of the most powerful demons". Where/what are those, exactly? How high are we talking, because I don't think the opposing ranks are equal to one another. Like, if Crowley had been an Archangel he isn't an Archdemon now, right?

Hell has a completely different kind of command structure, yes!

It seems to be wayyy more democratic for one, and has varying kinds and levels of ruling authorities. They have proper trials and rules, contracts to sign, several demons working on earth, a multitude of positions of employment (for lack of better words), provide living spaces for their earthly representatives, and overall function, while heaven seems to have—well, none of those things.

Figuring out a demon's rank is—in my opinion—pretty easy because of that.

Crowley makes a comment about bottom of the barrel demons, we see different jobs and how respected they are (e.g. Furfur being stuck in admissions, which is more of a grunt job, while anyone in temptations is in a more desirable position pun intended), and if we make some smart guesstimations, we can probably figure out the job & relative rank of any demon we're introduced to.

So—where does Crowley fall?

His position in heaven as the Starmaker may or may not have had an influence on his position after the fall, but we do know that he had and still has strong miracle powers. Let's take a look at the tasks hell assigned him:

a) the Serpent of Eden and Original Tempter

b) a long-term and (assumedly) one of the main representatives on earth

c) he's not just in Temptations, he works on a global scale and regularly impresses his bosses back in hell

d) he was tasked with helping Satan win a bet against God by taking care of Job's property, house, and family

e) Satan personally chose him to deliver the Antichrist and start Armageddon, which is THE job in the history of heaven & hell.

Hastur and Ligur are also explicitly jealous of the kind of jobs Crowley gets to perform, and while there is a general 'he's gone native' sentiment, they leave him alone as long as he does his job and doesn't break the rules in a way that fucks with hell's plans.

In season 1, we are told that Crowley is partly as powerful as he is because he has an imagination, which allows him to navigate the burning M25 while Hastur gets discorporated. When hell is told about the 25 Lazarii miracle that was performed, Crowley is seen as a viable candidate for either having done it himself or working with whoever did it.

Beelzebub also decides—for good reason—that if ze wants to find Gabriel, ze'll need his help:

They hold a trial when they could have just killed him like Hastur melting the Usher to test the holy water, but because of his rank Crowley gets a (more or less) fair trial. If you think about it, deciding he's guilty and then giving him the same kind of punishment he used to melt Ligur is actually not too bad of a treatment; lower demons, on the other hand, are punished on the daily without as much as a blink.

Crowley solves the mess in the bookshop, Beez and Dagon listen to him when he talks and explains, they see him as someone almost equal to them. It is believable to Hastur that Crowley is involved with the Dark Council and capable of recommending him for a promotion.

If Crowley had been a 'better' and more ambitious demon, he probably could have been a Duke of Hell even before Job. He can stop time, he can stop Satan himself in his tracks, and he is respected by both heaven and hell—so whatever you want to call his rank/job/position, it is undoubtedly one of high regard and power.