#i talk too much without saying anything substantial i'm so sorry

[manyaccidents]

"All done cutie, you can go back to coloring now" said Alyssa as she finished doing the last tape on my fresh diaper.

"But it's no fair!" I whined, all too aware of how childish I sounded. Trying my best to come across more mature, and wanting to be taken seriously, I continued in a slight huff "I don't even need a babysitter. I'm a big girl and I can take care of myself". The situation I found myself in painted the opposite picture, but I was still trying desperately to hold onto the few last crumbs of dignity I had left, and even those were quickly slipping out of my grasp.

"Oh you're a big girl?" Alyssa said with a hint of a smile. "I'm so sorry sweetheart, I didn't realize. Tell you what, why don't you explain to me why you're a big girl who can take care of herself. If you are able to convince me, I'll convince your Daddy for you!"

Excitement bubbled up within me. Finally! A chance to get out of this! But almost as soon as the feeling came, it was replaced by one of unconfident apprehension. "What am I even supposed to say now?" I thought to myself, starting to panic. I had to say something, Alyssa was waiting. I couldn't waste this opportunity.

"um.." I started "well you see, um...".

I was totally blanking. I swear I had good reasons, but now that they were actually being put to the test they sounded substantially more flimsy and not thought through.

"It's alright darling, take a deep breath and begin from the top" Alyssa instructed comfortingly. This was not starting off well.. I took a shaky breath. The stakes were too high, I couldn't mess this up.

"um.. so well.. first I can.." - why was it so hard to think of something?? I stood there desperately trying to think of at least one thing I could say, aware that every second that passed was making my reward less likely. My heart was pounding and my thoughts racing. Without giving it any thought, desperate to at least say something, I blurted out the first thing that popped into my mind.

"I can eat meals by myself!"

A look of slight incredulity could be seen on Alyssa's face but she stayed quiet, waiting for me to continue.

"Um.. and I can... help with laundry! And cleaning up my room! And... I can even use the microwave and toaster by myself! I've been practicing! And... I can take care of my pets!" I finished in a rush.

Alyssa nodded her head slowly. "That's quite a list you've got there cupcake, but I just want to ask you a few questions about it okay? I just want to make sure I understand"

I swallowed hard, feeling a mixture of fear and hope in my stomach. "Okay..." I managed to squeak out.

"Great!" Alyssa smiled warmly. "Now, let's see. First off, can you tell me which meals can you eat by yourself? The ones that are already cut up in bite sized pieces?"

Her question caught me off guard, and I felt a twinge of panic. I knew I had to be careful not to say anything that would give away too much. "Um, well, s-sometimes it's c-cut up..." I stammered, trying to think of an answer that wouldn't make me sound too incompetent. "I mean, I can eat some meals by myself, like macaroni and cheese or chicken nuggets.."

Alyssa smiled at me "Thank you sweetie I think I understand now. Alright, next question; Have you ever done the laundry by yourself?"

I took a deep breath before answering. "Well, I helped Daddy put clothes in the washing machine and dryer a few times, and last time I did it all by myself!" Raising her eyebrows, Alyssa replied

"Your Daddy told me about that.. He said there were soap suds everywhere and that a certain someone used a little too much soap" I looked away, not wanting her to see how pink my face was getting. She chuckled, continuing "Well, I'm sure your Daddy was very proud of you for trying at least. Now, let's talk about cleaning your room. Do you clean it every day or just when you're told?"

I shifted uncomfortably. "Um, well... "I try to keep it clean, bu-" Alyssa nodded, seeming to accept this as my answer. "And what about taking care of your pets?"

Finally confident in one of my answers I proudly state

"I pet them and I play with them all the time!! And they go outside and I watch them to make sure they are ok!"

"It sounds like you love them very much, but do you feed them, clean their litter box, and give them fresh food and water every day?" Alyssa inquired, already knowing the answer.

I felt a pang of guilt. "Well... um... I usually just play with them... but I thought that was taking care of them isn't it..?"

Alyssa smiled sweetly "So those are the reasons you think you're a big girl? You think you'd be okay by yourself for a few hours?"

I nodded shyly, looking at my feet.

"Well, I'm not quite convinced sweetie. Can you use the stove by yourself? Or the oven? Alyssa asked, her tone gentle but firm. "And what about changing your diapers? We wouldn't want someone's wet diapee to give them a rash right?" I felt my face flush even more. "I... um... I don't really know how to d-do those things..." I admitted, my voice barely above a whisper.

Alyssa nodded, her expression sympathetic. "I know, and it's okay honey, I understand. You're still just a little girl, and there's a lot you don't know how to do yet. But that's why you have a babysitter here to help you when Daddy's not around, okay?"

I wanted to argue, but though I didn't want to admit it to myself, her words rang true. I looked down at my lap, the infantile garment stark proof of Alyssa's assessment.

Alyssa, noticing my silence, gently took my hand in hers. "I know it's hard to accept, sweetheart, but you're still just a little girl, and that's okay! Don't be in such a rush to grow up, being an adult is so boring... I know! Why don't I make us some popcorn and put on your favorite movie until your Daddy comes home, how does that sound?" Alyssa suggested animatedly, already knowing how easily my attention is diverted.

"Tangled?!" I squealed excitedly, forgetting everything temporarily. "Yeah, that sounds like fun!" I beamed up at Alyssa and ran to the living room to get ready, forgetting my skirt in my excitement.

Alyssa shook her head, smiling. "A big girl indeed.."

[marshmallowprotection]

Jihyun's new birthday CG is out! I am surprised that it doesn't fulfill the theme that we have used thus far, the theme of the characters being children. However, I'm going to comment on something that I don't think anybody is going to talk about since this is V, after all.

First of all, you guys should be jumping up and down at the moment because this is the first time he's ever had a kiss picture. I am so sorry it took this long for you guys to get a sweet kiss with your very tragic artist, but this is your lucky day. I never thought he was going to get kiss contents so I am pleasantly surprised in the best way. 

Second of all, as I saw this picture last night, the first thing that came to mind was that whatever painting was going to be on his easel, was going to be something significant in my head no matter what.

This is just my conclusion, and it's something that I'm going to continue to keep in my brain no matter what since it can't be proven one way or the other, but I do believe this painting is a recreation of the one he ripped to shreds after that final argument with his mother. 

Here's the crucial detail, he's not trying to recreate a one-for-one copy of what he created. I believe he is revisiting it because what is a better homage to his childhood than going back to the very thing that caused the Catalyst event in his life in the first place? He denied himself the ability to be the painter he wanted to be when he was young, and he said awful things to his mother that he could never take back. 

Revisiting something he tore to shreds would allow him the opportunity to have something substantial to look at, to say to himself, “I am no longer denying my creative process, and as I remake this painting that my mother loved, I want nothing more than to be able to feel that same liberating feeling I felt and tried to crush because I was too insecure to live my dream.” 

Even the event is him learning how to be a better partner who communicates with you. That's something he has to do in his good ending, and that's where this takes place. I want nothing more than for him to finally have some peace in his heart about what happened to his mother, and now that he's come full circle and learned that her sacrifice wasn't a sentiment he needed to take to heart as a lesson to never abandon people, even if those people hurt you. 

That wasn't why his mother sacrificed her life for him. She did that because she loved him and that was her only child. She was his mother and she loved him no matter what. The horrible words he said out of insecurity were never something she was upset about, she was saddened, more than anything.

She wanted her son to follow his dreams, even if one day he couldn't continue those dreams.

Much like how she had to stop her passionate career as a violinist because she wasn't sure how to continue playing after losing much of her hearing. But she still got to spend so many years of her life following her passion, and even if she couldn't continue it, she still had the chance to do it. She didn't want her son to snuff out his own passion well before he even tried. So, by revisiting that painting, doing it again, and putting back in what he's learned over the years, it's the opportunity of a lifetime to make peace with himself. 

He's living as himself and I think that's a nice way to tie in the childhood theme without actually having him be a child. It's not like we haven't had a photo of him as a child on the title screen before, actually, one of his last birthdays gave us a photo of him and his mother. 

[felinecryptid]

Revelations

(or how Pav and Miles Fucked Up and Maya Auntie Fucked Miguel Up)

Maya did not think her day was gonna end with her trying to chuck a belan at a thug wearing a blue and red body suit.

But then again, she was not expecting to find herself another nephew and a niece too.

Perhaps she should rewind a bit.

***

Maya's eyes opened to the light of sunrise shining through the thin curtains. Her phone rang with bird whistles under the pillow, and she stepped out of bed, already thinking about what to put in Pavitr's lunchbox. She loved her nephew, her baby since- since everything, but he ate like a buffalo and yet, he was still wasting away.

She could make him his favourite Pav Bhaji, she thought, taking out the vegetables to warm them up before she cooked them. Lord knows he suddenly started loving it out of nowhere, some months ago, around the same time he started staying out late and coming home exhausted and screaming 'Auntie, kuchh khaane ko hai kya, itni bhook lagi hai, pura imarat khajaun,' and proceeding to finish the entire contents of the refrigerator, including the karela bhaji. Pav never looked at karela bhaji. Even when there was nothing else in the house. It was very suspicious.

At first she thought it was that model girl, what-was-her-name, Gayatri. Maya warned Pavitr to not get very attached to her, she did not want her boy to get hurt, no. But this change of heart couldn't be because of Gayatri, no matter how much she snuck around when Maya wasn't home. She could smell the designer perfume in her nephew's room, the boy wasn't sneakier than his aunt. Pavitr looked visibly happier on days the perfume smelled the strongest. He laughed louder when she was over for snacks or homework, and Maya couldn't fault him for that. She might need to have a little talk about girls with him soon, Maya thought, spitting out toothpaste and rinsing her face.

So it wasn't the girl. Maya refused to think it was his other friend, Hobie. They were so sweet, even if she thought they could do with a little more substantial clothes than thin stockings and ratty jackets. She had mistaken them for a robber the day she met them, but hey, all that ends well? Right?

She walked back to the kitchen, in time to see a curly haired boy swing in through the window, barely missing her pudina plants.

"Are- arey?! Aap kaun?" Maya reached for the ladles she kept in the left drawer, fingers scrabbling at the smooth handle.

"Woah! Sorry for this, Maya Auntie!" The boy raised his hands. "Didn't think I'd run into you, I'm so sorry-"

"Who are you?" Maya pointed the potato masher she'd grabbed at him. "Why do you know my name?"

"Pav talks about you a lot, I'd be a bad friend if I didn't know your name," The boy said, tilting backwards over the water filter to avoid her potato masher. "I'm Miles,"

"Eh, I don't know how much is a mile, convert to kilometers."

"No, no, my name, its Miles," The boy looked at him, eyes wide. "Didn't Pav tell you?"

When did her boy start hanging out with another American boy? "He didn't say anything about you-"

"MILES!" The pink spidergirl Maya saw swinging around sometimes, landed on her sill, almost flipping all her pudina. "Miles, you're not supposed to be here!"

"And you are not supposed to be there, beta, khidki se utar jao," Maya gestured at her to get down, fearing for her plants. "Who are you now?"

"Ummm, I'm Spiderwoman?"

"Dikh raha hai. I meant who are you, not what do you do, dear."

"Oh, I, um-"

"Gw-wanda!" Pavitr called out, barging in unceremoniously in his sleep pants, without a shirt.

"Hey, um, Pav-"

"Pavitr beta, baniyan daal ke aa, kitni baar bola hai ladkiyon ke samne nanga mat ghoom," Maya stopped every conversation happening, pointing back at his room.

"Nanga kahan hun main," Pavitr muttered, pulling on a shirt lying just out of sight in the kitchen. Teen boys, kab sikhenge saaf safai. "Abhi thik hai?

"Han." Maya nodded at him, before turning to all three of them "What is happening, Pavitr dear, why do I have a random boy in winter clothes and spider didi standing in my kitchen?"

"It's a long story?" Pavitr tried.

Maya thought for a second. "You don't have to go to school today. Take the day off, explain this to me."

Maya definitely heard him cursing as he left to freshen up.

***

Maya set down plates full of poha and tall glasses of orange juice for everyone while they told her their 'long story'.

Handing out spoons to everyone, she sat herself down on the last armchair, reaching for the achaar jar on the table. "So Pavitr, why don't you introduce me to your friends? I would love to know how you are friends with- What's your name, honey?" She directed the last part at the girl in the spider suit.

"Gwen."

"Right, with Gwen."

Pavitr had stuffed his mouth full, chewing slowly. Gwen had taken her mask off, gingerly biting a piece of carrot picked out from the poha. Miles answered with something that made Maya almost spit out the spoonful of poha in her mouth.

“Uh, Pav you haven’t told her that you are spiderman yet?” Pavitr choked, and Maya thumped him harder than strictly necessary. Even if the Miles boy was lying, clearly Pav knew these kids and didn't tell her. Miles muttered a soft ‘ow’ as Maya turned back to him.

“Miles, beta, what are you saying?”

Miles looked like a deer in headlights, as Pav sunk down his seat trying to stuff even more poha into his mouth, giving the unmistakable impression of the squirrels she likes to feed on her walks.

Gwen shifted around like she would love to be anywhere but here. Maya stared at them, waiting for one of them to explain something about the situation.

It was Pavitr that finally broke the tense silence with a “I’m spiderman, Bua.”

Maya stared some more.

“I’m the kid that’s been swinging around the city, fighting the gundas, the bad guys. I hid this from you, because it wasn’t safe for you to know, so I won't ever be sorry for that, but I'm really sorry for hurting you by hiding a part of who I have become now.” Pavitr looked down at his lap, his voice hoarse like he was trying to not cry and Maya couldn't hold back anymore. She leaned over and hugged Pavitr tight, feeling his sigh of relief as he went limp in her embrace. Maya mostly felt, rather than see, the other two kids leave.

“I love you, beta, I’ll love whoever you are and will be, there is nothing in this world that could make me hate you or love you less.” Maya murmured, petting her nephew’s, no, her son’s hair.

Pavitr’s laugh was the best sound she had heard in months.

***

Pavitr called Miles and gwen back in after 3 minutes of intense embracing. They strolled in looking thoroughly uncomfortable. Maya glaced at the clock. It was hard to believe it had been only 20 minutes since Miles crashed into her kitchen.

“Im really sorry Maya Auntie, but we need to get going, or Miguel will-” Gwen clamped a hand over Miles’ mouth.

“Could you please stop revealing everything to her immediately before Pav’s had a chance to explain to her?”

“Who’s Miguel?” Maya asked.

“He’s like our employer? in a way, Pav can explain better,” Gwen looked pointedly at Pavitr.

Pavitr looked long suffering as he turned heavenwards for strength maybe, or just moral support because he knew Maya was not one for employment before he was an adult. Way too many people out in the world to take advantage of minors and their naivety.

“Miguel is like our organiser, he lets us know when there’s a job to be done, like assigns us on different vil- uhm- people,” Pavitr scratched his neck.

Maya has seen that exact tell since Pavitr was old enough to lie- from getting caught with malai around his lips at age 5 to sneaking gayatri or hobie into his room to turning his face away only months after his uncle, her husband had passed, hiding the tears still streaming down his face- all accompanied by the same scratch of his neck. She knew he was holding something back. “Pavitr, beta, organiser? Tu dallon ke saath kaam karta hai? Aur jobs? Kis tarah ke jobs?”

Pavitr turned red, but continued bravely, “Miguel dalla nhi hai! I mean, ek tarah se hai par, woh hame bas kuch bure logon ko marne bhejta hai aur mujhe toh itna zyaada bhi nahi bhejta, bua, mein baba ka kasam khake bolta hun, mujhe kuchh bhi nahi hua hai,” Pavitr wasn’t looking at her anymore.

Maya was furious. Not at Pavitr, never at him, but this random man, whom she has never met, told her nephew, her son, her baby, got him running around, doing his bidding? No way she was going to stand that. “Marne? Kya matlab? Jaise laat ghusa ya jaan se? Nahi rehne do, jo bhi karwata hai, dallali hi hai. Pavitr, you stay away from that man, and keep your friends away too.”

“I can’t, he is the reason we met in the first place,” Pavitr went on with a voice Maya couldn't quite place.

“What do you mean?”

It was Gwen who spoke up next. “He gave me a place to belong to when my dad was going to arrest me because he thought I- when he thought I k- killed someone dear to both of us, without ever hearing me out, and it is because of him and another woman that I met this bunch of nerds.”

“Are we just forgetting the fact that he also tried to kick you out of the society because I fuuh- ruined some stuff? And you actually were rooming with Hobie?” Miles frowned at Gwen, and it felt like they had had this conversation before and this conversation was going down the exact same route as the previous ones. Pav nodded along, agreeing with Miles.

Maya was furious and lost. “Wait, you were rooming with Hobie? As in Pav’s friend Hobie?” Gwen and Miles nodded. “What society? Why is Hobie associated with it?” She whirled onto Pavitr.

Pavitr shrunk like he wanted to melt into her kashmiri carpet instead of having this conversation, again. “The Spider-Society. A club, kinda, for all the spider people and spider animals and spider objects. Hobie is also spiderman, for their- place, in London. They travel here frequently because they have speciality transport clearance as Hobie’s crew. Well, ex-crew as of some months ago,” Pavitr shrugged. “They still have some perks for travelling, but they stay over sometimes.”

“When did they last come over?” Maya asked, doing some serious math mentally.

“Uhh, Thursday?”

“And what was the last time Gayatri came over?”

“Monday.”

“And what did Gayatri gift you for your birthday?

“A perfume from Versah- oh, shit. Sorry, uh, I'm just, gonna shut up now,” Pavitr blushed so deep, Maya was worried for his heart.

Maybe she should have a talk about boys with him instead.

“We are discussing this later, I want to know what exactly you've been doing with them that requires spraying half a bottle of perfume after they’re gone,” It was Gwen and Miles’ turn to look confused. Maya didn't bother to clarify anything.

“Tell me more about this Miguel dude,” Maya leaned back in her armchair.

“He tried to throw Miles off a train.” Gwen said, looking Miles straight in the eye.

“And sent all the society after him, like two thousand people,” Pav added.

“More like two hundred but go off, I guess,” Miles muttered, avoiding Gwen’s eyes

“Wait, how are you still alive? And how old is he?” Maya asked incredulously. These kids needed better guardians, and she was adopting them immediately. They can't be running around with this Miguel guy without adult supervision-

“He’s maybe thirty three? I’m not sure, Peter would know,” Miles shrugged, forgoing the first question entirely.

“He is an adult? And he tried to throw you, a kid, a child, off a train? I need to meet this guy, maybe have a little talk,” Maya Auntie stood up, fuming.

“What they didn't tell you, that Miguel also put Miles in a cage, so he would be unable to go save his loved ones from certain disaster,” Spoke a familiar British dude on her windowsill, thankfully not on the one with pudina on it. Maya’s favourite friend of Pavitr’s, though she wasn’t sure if friend was the correct word anymore, if it ever was.

“And Auntie, if you really wanna meet dear ol' Miggy, I can take you,” Hobie grinned, holding up a watch that glitched in and out of reality.

Maya missed the terrified looks on Gwen, Miles and Pavitr’s faces as she reached for it.

*****

Part 1 of 2

translation (as always, this is not direct translation, just close enough, or whatever fits better in context) (non direct translation marked with [])(also jsyk, everything is pronounced, exactly the way its written):

beta- son / [means as good as son]( i bet yall have this memorised)

belan- rolling pin

pav bhaji- buttered and toasted buns with curried potatoes and vegetables (as much as it pains me to describe it so, its simplest explanation and i have no patience its nearly 6 in the morning and i haven't slept a wink)

Auntie, kuchh khaane ko hai kya, itni bhook lagi hai, pura imarat khajaun- auntie, is there something to eat, im so hungry, i could eat a whole building

karela bhaji-spiced stir fried bitter gourd (which is very bitter, as you might have guessed, i personally like it, most people hate it)

pudina- mint plants (lmao)

Are- arey?! Aap kaun?- hey! who are you?

beta, khidki se utar jao- child, get down from the window

Dikh raha hai- i can see that

Pavitr beta, baniyan daal ke aa, kitni baar bola hai ladkiyon ke samne nanga mat ghoom- Pavitr dear, ive [literally told you so many times] to not roam about naked in front of girls

Nanga kahan hun main- [how am i naked]

kab sikhenge saaf safai- when will they learn cleanliness

Abhi thik hai- [is this fine?]

didi- older sister (term of respect, usually)

poha- stirfried soaked flat rice flakes and cubed vegetables with spices (again the simplest description)

Bua- aunt, who is the sister of your father (yep hindi has a word for that)

gundas- goons

malai- cream from milk

Tu dallon ke saath kaam karta hai? Aur jobs? Kis tarah ke jobs?- you're working with [ring leaders]? and jobs? what kind of jobs? (bc dalla (dallon- pl.) famously means pimp, but it actually also means 'person who leads extremely questionable stuff')

Miguel dalla nhi hai! I mean, ek tarah se hai par, woh hame bas kuch bure logon ko marne bhejta hai aur mujhe toh itna zyaada bhi nahi bhejta, bua, mein baba ka kasam khake bolta hun, mujhe kuchh bhi nahi hua hai- miguel is not a ring leader! i mean, he is kind of, [but he tells us to deal with bad people, and i don't even get assigned a lot, auntie, i swear on my father, nothing bad has happened to me]

Marne? Kya matlab? Jaise laat ghusa ya jaan se? Nahi rehne do, jo bhi karwata hai, dallali hi hai.- [deal with? as in beating them up? or taking them out?, no stop, i don't want to know, but whatever hes been doing, he is brokering you out, using your services]

kashmiri- [from Kashmir]

A/N:

i havent forgotten miles’ hypocrisy, we’ll definitely come back to that

the reason maya auntie didnt call miles out in the first place is that she doesn't know what is the etiquette for someone coming out as spiderman ( i say it like thats a new category in the alphabet mafia lmao) and she is a desi gossip queen, shes not refusing any source of information about anything (one thing i know that if desi aunties ran intelligence services, we’d all be fucked as hell) , we love her in this household

more seriously tho, family dynamics in india is just on a different plane of existence, and privacy, until like 20 years ago, was a ‘western’ concept, ‘made to weaken the integrity of society’ and as maya auntie is a product of that generation, she doesn't see anything wrong with miles exposing pav like that

i, however, know that is very wrong, and do not endorse or encourage it in anyway, and miles would be getting his sweets bc of that lil moment of breaking trust

it is just plot babyyyy

a little bit of explanation of the employment thing, bc the norm for employment is like 16 right? in india it is 18, or more normally 22, being a third world country, exploitation, generational trama and everything, yk

if there's something that's missing or wrong just lemme know bc im editing this at no sleep in 72 hours, pls don't be shy ��

[shrimplymoray]

Perhaps a Deimos x reader where it begin with a car chase, and ends with a calm moment between them? You can add any spin you want on it, be creative :)

Hiiii!! Thank you for my first Madcom Request!! It genuinely made me happy and i've been cooking it on my head all day lol

Deimos x Reader - Calm After the Storm

It was supposed to be a quick mission. Go in, fuck up the cloning machines with the hacking stuff Deimos does while you made sure his back was covered from those damn L33T Agents but oh boy, were you in for a ride. Literally. "Are the Engineers still on our back, sugar?" Deimos asked, barely glancing at you while you made sure to aim at either heads or tires of the classic AAHW Trucks. "That motherfucker is still on the back. Think we can get the rough route to get some time?" You asked while doing the quickest reload you possibly could. Time is imperative to not have a bullet between both of your heads. "I mean, sure, but ya think ya can take care of aiming at em like that?" The teasing tone of Deimos was always present, even during a fucking chase, but you should be used considering you two get paired often enough for missions. "You almost make me want to shoot you instead" "Ya wouldn't do that, i'm too pretty to die" His raspy laugh was met with the side mirror getting shattered by a bullet. With a rough turn, you try getting a good aim at the driver engineer, managing to miss his head and shoot the passenger seat engineer. 1 down, at least. "One down." This kept on for another ten minutes, with a couple broken glass, one broken mirror, one bullet just missing your arm, and the truck front tires being shot near one of the classic Nevadean Cliffs. You didn't even get back on the HQ, just resting for a while to catch your breath. "Fucking damn, we could've like, get a warning of 'Hey there is a high chance of having Engineers there after Hank went for a random walk and came back with two Grunt heads'" You sighed, while bandaging some small injuries you had from the building raid before. "Yeah, well. Nothin' much to do, right?" Dei gave a small chuckle, lighting his cigarette, and coming near you. "Need help there, sugar?" "Nope, all done. Now gimme your hand" "What? Why?" "Just do it, Deimos." Without further resistance, he did, and you just put something on his hand. After he took a look, it was a small mixtape. "Aw, i didn't knew ye were the romantic type, sugar~" "Shut it. This is just so I don't need to pay the broken mirror..." you took a look back at all the fucked up-ness on the car "... mirrors." "Aham... Just say you like me, it's not that hard." "What if I get that broken mirror and shove it far up your ass?" "Aight, A man can try~" Even though you banter a bit, and maybe amuse Deimos a bit, it's not like you hate each other. Perhaps, in other circumstances, you would be able to talk without... "Hey! It's the Wanted guys! Get them!" Well... that.

I AM SO FUCKING RUSTY ON WRITING, I'M SORRY IF IT IS NOT UP TO MY USUAL STANDARD AAAAA. I never wrote anything substantial for Madcom, so this was certainly new for me, and i need to get a little bit better on my personal characterization, but so far I'M PROUD!!

Hope you Enjoy!

[gingerjolover]

prompt: any of the boys take care of reader after noticing she has disordered eating habits

Trigger warning: disordered eating habits and eating disorder talk, nothing too graphic (your girl is emetophobic lol)

As someone who has had and recovered from an ED, if you need any support or resources please feel free to reach out and if this will trigger you, please skip!!

since I have a lack of Phoebe content I will be writing her first, BUT i do plan to do this prompt with all the boys.

Phoebe:

I'm imagining a scenario where Phoebe keeps pretty good tabs on you, like always checking in and making sure you're okay and taking care of yourself, especially when she's touring and just not around as much. And this isn't because she thinks you're incapable, but she strikes me as the type of partner/lover who wants to be very involved, especially when she's not physically around.

The why isn't so much important as the what. Because she's not around and the boy's busy touring schedule, you've been able to dodge situations where she might've picked up on the fact that you were skipping meals and meticulously tracking what goes into your body, if anything substantial at all. It isn't until she comes home, and she doesn't really notice the first day because you spend most of the day in bed and you narrowly avoid your first mealtime together by blaming eating a big lunch before you picked her up from the airport.

But she knows something is up the next morning when she wakes up early (on purpose) to surprise you with your favorite baked good and presents it to you in bed. You offer to walk Maxine first, saying you missed the pup and walking with your girlfriend, which Phoebe believes, but there's something gnawing at her gut because you left the pastry on your nightstand, not even sparing it a second glance.

You'd both be walking Maxine, hand in hand, when Phoebe tells you one of the few times Julien fell hard on stage, and you laugh a little too hard that you get lightheaded. Phoebe is immediately on high alert and may be coming off a little aggressive in her questioning, "No seriously babe, don't say you're fine, you chuckled and almost fucking passed out," and you immediately close in on yourself, wanting to hide but she keeps pushing and pushing until the dam bursts. You're literally in the front yard when you just spill how you haven't been eating, and she's instantly riddled with guilt, scooping you up and rubbing your back. "Baby, hey... I need you to talk to me... you know I love you, I want the best for you, what's going on?" just so supportive and soft and sweet with you, the side of her you don't see super often since she's so nonchalant and chill normally. She doesn't immediately force you into a program or into a big meal; she does convince you to get checked out at urgent care, where they give you resources and fluids before she finds a safe snack for you to slowly reintroduce.

When you get home she lets you talk it out, letting you rest your head on her chest, her fingers massaging your scalp and back. She feels guilty for being so aggressive, knowing you're a bit ashamed of your recent habits. She does her best to console you without reinforcing any of your behavior, "I know you're struggling baby, I do. I'm sorry I couldn't be there for you, but I'm here now, and I'll always be here, even when I'm not physically home," and "You're stuck with me forever, I need you healthy babe," trying to make light of the situation. She's googling the best way to support you when you eventually fall asleep on her chest; Maxine snuggled with the two of you on the couch.

She tries not to be overbearing as you slowly work out of your habits. she'll be on the road again, you'll be at work getting a random series of texts along the lines of "good morning my dude," "make sure you eat today," "love you so much," and then when you don't answer her texts she'll call, sheepishly asking you what you had for breakfast.

She tries not to watch you like a hawk, but there's always a part of her that's a bit overprotective, especially when you start eating intuitively and listening to your hunger cues; she gets a little flighty when you tell her you're not hungry, but she knows to trust you, and if you needed help, you would ask. At the end of the day, she just loves you so much, and even if she is chill about it, she's obsessed with you and only wants the best for you.

[dwreader]

Anne rice based lestat on her husband. I'm sorry but she always had louis stuck on that man even in the first book already its not like she changed her mind later on. Lestat was the looming husband figure. It's just so sad to see yall turn on the writers when the thing is yall have been chronically online + nursing resentment toward lestat&his fanbase and are now mad he doesn't get his comeuppance by louis having a much more passionate relationship w/ armand.

anon pls tell me when i have ever said loumand would ever take precedence over loustat on this show alsjsjajkas lmao like the ppl behind the show have announced multiple times that it’s about loustat and like primarily lestat i would argue based on rolin’s comments. literally the ONLY part of the book that i had any expectation wouldn’t be completely turned into a lestat extravaganza is the loumand courtship in paris where there is no indication that his ghost/memory stands in the way of louis accepting armand’s advances. he may feel guilt and worry over the consequences of what they did but if anything the fact that lestat was such an awful husband/mentor is what drives louis to be MORE receptive of armand and hopeful for their relationship. it makes him easier prey for armand because he wasn’t given any proper mentorship from lestat so unless you wanna enter into “louis just lied about everything” territory TO ME that’s an aspect of their relationship that should be preserved in order to have any impact (and i don’t see why louis would be lying when he’s very honest about lestat haunting him in the prior segment).

and not only is this louis’s only other substantial romantic relationship outside of lestat but this is also the last part of the entire series in which there’s any substantial writing of louis AT ALL… to dramatically increase the presence of lestat when the rest of the book series is already 99% his story just rubs me the wrong way. like we’re always talking about how this show is possibly going to work around the fact that anne never wrote about louis again after this but not even allowing what little independent story he does have in the books to be told w/o shoehorning lestat is again why this question keeps coming up.

yes lestat was always based on her husband but she wrote iwtv when she had a much more pessimistic view of their marriage and it wasnt necessarily a given that loustat were meant to be together in the long term (she literally tried to get rid of louis a million times in the subsequent books anyways) so this idea that they were always meant to be OTP4ever is just silly. the ending of iwtv works bc neither armand nor lestat could bring any passion back to him. it’s not a romance novel and even in the end, while he feels sad seeing lestat in such a rotten state and when armand leaves, he is too hollowed out to do anything about it and doesn’t stay with either of them. of course the entire series isn’t going to take that view but this season is not the entire series it’s just one part of the book that IMO is incredibly effective as it’s written without the overarching loustat otp narrative in its way.

also that woman tried to find a louis replacement in every single book she wrote and only gave up when her fans hated it and complained enough i guess. but even disregarding all her bad writing, everyone involved in the show has talked about how it was a challenge to account for the massive retcon she did after tvl. these are all choices that were made on what to prioritize and to deal with the fact that the books aren’t consistent about the characterizations or relationships. and they’re going to have to make even more decisions going forward when louis completely ghosts off the page in anne’s writing and all im saying is what im seeing so far makes me wary of those future decisions they’ll have to make s3 and beyond. (not even getting into the fact they’re shoving dm/lesmand/nickistat/etc into this season too like that’s just compounding the same issue)

[j-a-nuary]

Date Roulette: Jiyong

Tuesday

Intro Week Start

Seungri Week Start

Daesung Week Start

Taeyang Week Start

Seunghyun Week Start

Jiyong Week Start

Next

=====

Warning level: suggestive (higher end of suggestive)

=====

I woke up with my head smushed against Jiyong's shirt, and his arms wrapped tightly around my body. Which is to say: I woke up confused. I remembered everything, but I couldn't really make sense of it.

I was not the type to back down from a building argument. At least, I tried not to be. And kissing him again? I knew how I had gotten there, but in the light of day I just couldn't make the logic work out the same as it had last night.

But I could work that stuff out later. Right now, I had to peel a human banana clip off of myself and track down a production… assistant? Director? It occurred to me that I didn't actually know what Chul's job title actually was.

Again, not a priority at the moment.

I shook my head, trying to knock loose the cobwebs that had accumulated in there overnight. I immediately regretted the action as an invisible band tightened itself around my temples.

Muffling a groan, I rolled towards the edge of the bed, finding my escape from his clutches easier than I had expected.

Jiyong only let out a soft whine, but stayed asleep. I grabbed one of the pillows and pushed it towards his arms. He readily accepted it, pulling it into his body in a stranglehold.

=====

Once I was above deck, I located a staff person that I vaguely recognized. I had seen her around a few times, typically with an assortment of cords in her hands.

This morning however, she was leaning against a railing. In one hand she had some sort of snack bar, in the other she seemed to be scrolling through sns.

As I approached, she gave me an apologetic look - covering her somewhat full mouth and bowing. I waved a hand and shook my head, hoping I was coming off as nonchalant and not grimacing too much from the growing dizziness between my eyes.

"Sorry for interrupting," I started, "I just wanted to know if Chul is around."

"Mm," she paused, finishing chewing before continuing, "he's still downstairs. I guess he's got motion sickness pretty bad."

"Ah," I frowned, "I was hoping to talk to him before everything really got started today."

"Hmm…" she looked a little unsure.

"Please."

After a second, she nodded. "I'll show you," she offered.

I followed her back below deck.

=====

The room was smaller. Substantially so. Obviously meant as staff quarters.

It annoyed me, but I figured I'd gone on enough anti-capitalist tangents before. Besides, if Chul wasn't feeling well there was no reason for me to bring more negativity to him.

I also had something more urgent to address.

Chul looked like shit. He was rumpled. Hair stuck out at odd angles, wrinkled clothes, and that wince of illness. He was busy shaking some tablets onto his hand.

"Hey," I took a seat on an empty bunk, "anything I can do to help?"

He shook his head, wincing again.

"I've got dramamine and pain killers," he huffed, "I'll live. What's up?"

I sunk into myself slightly, feeling a little guilty that I was - once again - coming to him for a favor.

"I…" I paused as another staffer came in for a moment. They grabbed a bag and left without a word. Wordlessly, Chul handed me the bottle of pills. Taksen. I took two, nodding in thanks as he handed over a bottle of water as well.

I waited an extra second after swallowing the pills before starting again.

"I'm worried about this week."

Chul nodded, silently urging me to continue.

"I woke up and…" I blinked, brows dipping as I thought it over again, "I can't make sense of last night."

"Yeah," he agreed, "I didn't expect you two to get over things so quickly."

"Exactly!" I nodded - ignoring the headache, "it's like Ji… he just knows how to get past my guard somehow."

Chul hummed, a thoughtful look taking over his features.

"But… what does this have to do with me?" He asked.

"I… I don't know. I just wanted…" I frowned. What did I want? Someone to keep an eye on me? Someone to talk to?

"I just wanted to know if I was crazy or not for thinking it was strange."

He laughed. Not at me. More of a what can I say sort of laugh.

"The whole thing is strange. Has anything happened to you this last month that isn't strange?"

I rolled my eyes, huffing at him and crossing my arms.

"Okay," I conceded, "but this is extra strange. I couldn't stand his jealousy, but one conversation later I let him sleep in my bed?"

Chul lifted an eyebrow, teasing me.

"Shut up," I snapped, "nothing happened. Just sleep."

He shook his head, raising his hands as if showing his innocence.

"But it's still weird!" I pushed. "I remember the conversation. That one bit shouldn't have been enough."

He sighed, shrugging.

"This whole thing between you two has been a roller coaster. Maybe this is just another up."

I groaned, but didn't speak. He had something close to a point.

"You just have to survive a few days. Tomorrow is a group day, then Sunday as well."

"You know that this won't just end on Sunday," I grumbled.

"True," he leaned forward, patting my knee reassuringly, "but we can worry about that next week. For now, let's just focus on today."

"Fine," I agreed, "but just…"

I stumbled over my words again.

Luckily, Chul knew what I was getting at.

"Hey, I can always make up some technical interruption if you need me to. Not forever, but for five minutes at least."

I nodded. Standing up, I placed a hopefully not overly familiar hand on his shoulder.

"Thank you Chul," I squeezed his shoulder slightly, "seriously."

He nodded.

=====

I had hoped that Jiyong would be gone by the time I returned to my cabin. Or at least still dead asleep. Instead he sat up when I entered, pouting over my pillow at me.

I froze, just for a second. Thankfully, he seemed sleepy enough to have missed it.

"You left me alone," he croak-whined.

"I figured you could use the sleep," I shrugged. I sat on the edge of the bed and hauled my backpack from where I had stashed it on the little armchair yesterday.

His pout stayed in place as he shoved the pillow behind himself and lifted his arms towards me.

"Come back to me, my love."

I cringed at the endearment. It sounded hollow somehow.

"Luna?"

I looked up, meeting his gaze. His eyebrows were drawn together, and he appeared to be giving me a thorough looking over.

"Hmm?"

He didn't immediately answer. Instead, he sat up and leaned forward. Supporting himself on his knees and one hand, he reached forward and pushed the hair out of my face.

"Are you not feeling well? I'm sure I have medicine or something with me."

I shook my head, pulling away from his hand.

"No," I turned my attention back to my bag, "I already got something from Chul."

Jiyong crawled forward, invading the space next to me.

'What did he give you?"

I shrugged, still searching through my bag. "Just something for my headache. You know how it i- Ah there it is!"

I held my toothbrush aloft in triumph.

Jiyong smiled, presumably at my antics, but continued his questioning.

"But what specifically?"

"Why does it matter?" I retorted, moving towards the ensuite so I could finally brush my teeth. I laughed at Jiyong's expression, now looking extra concerned. "I doubt he'd try to drug me or something."

"Of course," he nodded slowly, "he'd have to be a psycho to do something like that."

He moved awkwardly, getting himself untangled from the bed so he could follow me.

"Still," he took up residence behind me now, sneaking a hand around my stomach as I brushed my teeth, "it might react poorly with that tea."

I rolled my eyes at him through the mirror. I felt crowded, but resisted the urge to push him away. Maybe it was the… was this a hangover? PMS? Regardless, there was an uncomfortable feeling lingering through my body that I couldn't help interpreting as danger.

Jiyong took my lack of rejection as encouragement. He hooked his chin on my shoulder and lifted his free hand to brush my hair back from my face.

"I want to make sure that you're safe, my love."

That was going to get real old, real fast.

I shrugged myself from his clutches, spitting and rinsing my mouth before speaking.

"It was just Taksen," I turned to face, fixing what I felt was the fakest smile I had ever worn onto my face, "I'm sure I'll be fine Ji."

=====

We had lunch on the boat, a vegetarian take on naengmyeon.

"You know," I broke a not quite awkward silence as we ate, "I used to hate soup."

Jiyong looked up from his dish, frowning slightly.

"I'm sure they could make something else."

"No," I shook my head, "this is fine. I just was against soup on principle."

Jiyong blinked, squinted, and finally placed his elbow onto the tabletop and his chin into his palm.

"On principle."

It wasn't exactly a question, but it was clear he wanted further information.

"Well," I lifted my spoon, observing its contents closely. After a moment, I downed the liquid before continuing. "Soup is different back home." I held the spoon up, now watching the way the sunlight reflected off its surface.

Jiyong patiently watched my antics.

"Mostly it just seemed like someone made a meal and then," I shrugged, "decided to put it in water."

Jiyong looked down at his own bowl, brows drawing together as he considered the food before him.

"How is that different than this?"

I shrugged again. "Soup here seems to be done on purpose."

His frown deepened for a moment. Then, after shaking his head, he burst out laughing.

"What?" I asked, unable to remain serious in the face of his outburst, "what's so funny?"

"I just," he shook his head again before leaning forward and resting his chin in his palm, "never know what you're going to say next."

A month ago - hell even a week ago - I would have expected that sentiment to be accompanied by a frown. Disapproval of what and how I choose to be. Now however…

He seemed to have forgotten his food, simply gazing at me with something like wonder writ across his face.

"Eat," I nodded towards his bowl.

His smile deepened. Shaking his head, his lips parted to speak.

"I-"

"Don't tell me you're full by watching me," I cut him off. "You need to eat."

He let out an abrupt laugh, but lifted his spoon regardless.

=====

I wasn't sure if it was exactly typical for yachts to pull up on Sindo. From what I could see, the boat that we were on was the only non-ferry visible. There was some discussion between pier staff, show staff, and even Jiyong himself at one point, before we were able to fully… park? I made a mental note to look up proper boating terminology.

Something about the way that Jiyong returned from the conversation sent a flag up in my mind. He looked sheepish, but happy - victorious, but a little shy. He had a bounce in his step that translated to his silly straw sun hat flopping slightly as he approached.

He looked like a dad on vacation that had just gotten a bargain.

"Is everything okay?" I asked as soon as he was close enough to talk to.

"Yes," he quickly answered. "I just have to, ah…" that slightly embarrassed look replaced his smile for a second.

"You didn't bribe them, did you?"

He laughed, but didn't answer. Not directly anyway.

"The manager's wife is a fan," he explained. "I just offered to sign a picture."

I squinted at him, trying to play up my disapproval.

"Jagi~," he stepped closer and wrapped an arm around my shoulder, "I got us a spot, right?"

I pursed my lips, letting out a "hmmph" noise.

"I did well," he wiggled my shoulders back and forth, teasing, "right jagiya?"

"I guess it's okay," I gave him a sidelong look, "as long as we're not breaking a law or anything."

A slightly confused look took over his features for a moment as he tilted his head.

"I don't think so," he murmured, "even if there is one, it will only be a fine."

I sighed deeply, remembering a phrase that my friends back home and I used to say pretty often: 'Punishable by a fine' just means 'legal for rich people.'

=====

We navigated renting some scooters, including two bigger ones that were more like golf carts for the staff and their gear, and headed out. It was already near noon when we had arrived, so we stopped in a small cafe for something to eat before heading towards Modo.

It was something like a break, but not really. Jiyong had suggested we share a scooter, but I had wanted a little bit of extra freedom.

"Think of the show," Jiyong pouted.

"I am," I countered. "Just imagine how fun it will be for the audience when I inevitably run off on my own and you have to chase me down."

I heard Chul snort out a laugh somewhere off camera at that.

"My love," Jiyong's pout deepened, "think of the way their hearts will flutter when you put your hands around my waist."

I shook my head, rolling my eyes for good measure.

"That's actually dangerous. If anything I'd have to grab your hips or shoulders," I shrugged. "Holding your waist messes with your center of balance."

The pout was gone. In its place was a blank stare, seasoned by a few blinks.

In the end, I allowed him to "convince" me. Truth be told, I was beginning to have a headache again, and I figured I might be better off if I let him "drive". I also begged another painkiller off Chul, who made a point of holding the back of his hand to my forehead and squinting at my eyes and hands.

"Do I pass the inspection?"

Chul's eyes narrowed, "for now. Here."

With that, I was handed a tablet, a bottle of water, and a helmet before settling in behind Jiyong on the little moped.

=====

The air on my face felt nice, doing a little bit to clear the ache in the center of my forehead. It also helped that most of what I could smell was salt, mud, and algae. I breathed deep, shutting my eyes to block any potential motion sickness from compounding the horrendously loud pounding of blood in my ears.

I was a little disappointed at missing most of the view while we rode. I had searched the island online when the plan was initially proposed and knew that I was surrounded by greenery and farms. I hoped I'd be able to see them on the way back.

At first, I was a little bitter about going to Modo with Jiyong. It was on my list, buried in my liked photos on my private Instagram. Somehow, I doubted Jiyong knew that though. Much more likely was the chance that he simply looked up day trips on the islands and things to do.

Not that that was a bad approach. I had simply been spoiled by Seunghyun and Daesung's attentiveness.

I allowed myself a moment of malcontent before convincing myself not to let petty details ruin Baemikkumi for me.

Getting an afternoon snack also helped. I excused myself to the bathroom after ordering, taking an extra moment to pat some cool water over my face and neck. The day was hot, extra humid due to being on the series of islets.

It also gave me a moment to respond to messages that I had been ignoring.

From: Hugeboy Any clarity on that mysterious situation you were in? σ(^_^;)? From: Hugeboy Ah… I know you're probably just busy but still it feels a bit… From: Hugeboy I want to call you From: Hugeboy But I don't want to be a bother From: Hugeboy I miss you ｡･(つд`｡)･｡ From: Hugeboy Maybe I should be embarrassed about saying that From: Hugeboy No! I don't care if it's embarrassing! From: Hugeboy I! Miss! You! ♡♡♡♡♡ (*T^T)

I couldn't help but to half smile, half pout, at his messages. Reading back over them I couldn't help but feel a little bad about not having responded. Still, I supposed I had a pretty good reason. At least on Sunday.

To: Hugeboy Would you believe me if I said I miss you too? To: Hugeboy I had a sort of… medical issue?? To: Hugeboy Nothing serious. Just stress. To: Hugeboy Honestly, I think I'm still recovering.

For perhaps the second time ever, he didn't instantly respond. Well, that's only fair. I checked my other messages.

From: Zico You know what I'm going to say, right? ㅋㅋㅋ From: Zico I think he's really lost it this time From: Zico Seriously… are you a witch or something? ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

That last message had been accompanied by a blurry video of what appeared to be Mino. He sat with his phone in his hands, staring at it with an obvious pout on his lips. I couldn't truly make out what he was saying, but I could tell it was something like:

"... doesn't… nothing…"

A few seconds before the video ended, a new message came in from Zico.

From: Zico

I would ask why Mino just texted me asking for advice on playing it cool, but I think I already know the answer.

I snorted a laugh and quickly typed a reply.

To: Zico Why should he start now?

To: Hugeboy I like that you're embarrassing~~ ♡ To: Hugeboy Better to be embarrassing and real than to be cold and uncaring From: Hugeboy Fine! I miss you more than makes sense (*T^T) From: Hugeboy When can I see you? To: Hugeboy I don't know. I'm sorry. From: Hugeboy It's not your fault ＼(_ _) To: Hugeboy Still… To: Hugeboy I have to go. I'll message you again soon I promise.

With that, I clicked my phone back to locked, and headed back outside.

=====

Jiyong insisted we rehydrate, a set of iced teas mixed with fruit juice already on the table when I returned.

"Making sure to take care of me?" I teased him.

"I always take care of you."

At Jiyong's suggestion, plenty of photographs were taken. Primarily of me. I did offer a few times to take pictures of him, but he'd simply shake his head and say he had enough photos of him to last a lifetime.

That seemed both reasonable and a little unfair. Not to him. He was right. Nobody needed more photos of him. But it was unfair to put me in the spotlight with so little warning.

Once we were in the park, it was every few minutes with him. He'd point at something and ask me to pose next to it. As if I knew the first thing about posing.

I tried to push the negativity out of my mind. For years I had been the photographer for my friends. Ninety percent of the photos that existed of me were mirror selfies, or taken using a makeshift tripod and the timer function. I took a moment to be grateful for the influx of proof of life provided over the last few weeks.

Besides, the picture of me being held in giant metal hands did come out nicely.

=====

Just a short while later, Jiyong was sulking.

Well, not actually. He was playing it up for sympathy, scowling as the yacht pulled closer to the dock on the mainland. I pretended that I hadn't noticed.

"It's a shame," I said as casually as I could.

I was rewarded with shining puppy eyes from Jiyong.

"We didn't even get a chance to go into the ocean water this whole time."

Jiyong grimaced. Obviously, this was not what he had been hoping to hear. No doubt he would have liked for me to say I wished we could spend another night on the boat. Or perhaps that I didn't want to return to the house.

Truth be told, I was itching to get into the giant tub in my room. I couldn't wait to stretch out in a familiar bed again.

But the summer sun was still well above the horizon, so I was willing to bet that the approaching dock was not the end of the day.

=====

We ended our day at a bar masquerading as a barbecue restaurant. Nothing fancy, thank god. Just a little meat, a few vegetables, and a small gas fire to cook them over.

And soju.

Of course soju.

I contemplated the mushroom tipped shaft before me, pretending to ignore the shot that Jiyong had placed beside my plate.

"Come on," he whined slightly, meat tongs now back in hand. "Don't make me drink alone."

I sighed, biting the earthy brown cap off the skewer in my hand before turning to down the drink.

"That's my girl."

I made a point of rolling my eyes at his words. He just laughed and tossed back his own drink.

He's in a good mood. We had been in that weird confrontation for so long that I had forgotten about this version of him. Relaxed, happy, not mistaking jokes for attacks - this was the version of him I had fallen for in those early days.

"Hey."

I blinked, shaking my head slightly as I came back into the moment. The cup next to my plate was full again. I reached out to take it, but two fingers fell across the top to stop me. Looking up, I saw Jiyong watching me with that soft look he had been wearing for the last two days.

"Where'd you go?"

The seat I was in didn't really have a back to it, otherwise I would have leaned back. As it was, I supported myself with an elbow on the edge of the table.

"I was just thinking. About the beginning."

A moment of silence passed between us then. For me, it was reflective. For him… well…

He shook himself out of it and set the food aside so it didn't burn. After making sure everything was safely set, he sat down facing me. He shuffled to the edge of his seat and reached forward to grab the legs of mine to pull me closer.

"What?" It felt like a reasonable enough question.

"It can be like that again, jagiya."

He picked up my hand from the table, winding it into his own. His thumb brushed over my fingers for a moment before he pulled my palm to his cheek. Quickly, he pressed a kiss against my hand before securely holding it against his skin.

"I can make it like that again," he stared, an intensity that made my skin flush but also crawl.

"Ji," I tried to pull my hand away.

"No," he renewed his grip, pressing another kiss against my fingers before continuing, "I'll do whatever I need to do to make you realize that it should be me."

I experience an odd mix of reactions to that. My neck tensed, hairs prickling up off my skin as if his words had sent a cold breeze across my back. I felt goosebumps raise over my arms.

On the other hand, my stomach swooped and fluttered. A warmth spread down from my gut, part of my body clearly reacting well to the earnestness of his words.

"Just let me prove it to you this week."

=====

I silently wished that we had taken one of the company cars to the pier yesterday. Not necessarily one of the giant vans, but just something with another driver. A chaperone.

As we hadn't, I was stuck in Jiyong's car with him. Not that I thought he'd do anything too scandalous. There were still cameras in his car after all.

No, it was a more internal issue than that. With an external cause. That I was internally incapable of solving.

Jiyong's hand was on my thigh.

Which was fine. It was fine. It was a respectful enough distance between my knee and my hip. It was simply resting there, largely inactive save for a few swipes of his thumb over my skin. It was fine. I could deal with this.

Except for that gut churning warmth from before that was still sitting behind my waistband. Except for the tell-tale sensation of my body preparing itself for something that it was not going to get.

But it was nice. In a way.

I glanced at Jiyong, which may have been a mistake. I don't like to think of myself as being shallow but good lord the budding tension would be easier to prune back if he wasn't so fucking pretty.

=====

Finally we were back home, as much as that word meant anything anymore.

I was glad to be back in the house. I tried to remember where I was in my cycle. Had I last had my period during Seungri's week? Maybe it had been Daesung's? It wasn't totally out of the question that my hormones were simply amped up.

It usually wasn't this noticeable though. I was overtly aware of the wetness between my legs. Every step I took was accompanied by a naggingly persistent glide of self-lubricated flesh.

In a number of different situations, it would be titillating. In this one it was almost concerning.

"I'm going to head to bed," I was perhaps a bit curt with my words, but I was aching to get into the bathroom and clean myself up.

"Are you feeling okay?" Genuine concern filtered through Jiyong's words.

Maybe I wasn't doing as good of a job covering as I had thought.

"I'm fine," I cleared my throat. Doing my best not to meet his eye, I came up with a weak excuse. "I'm just tired from traveling and everything."

In the periphery of my vision, I was aware that he was nodding. I pretended to focus on putting my shoes away neatly.

"Jagi," his hand found my wrist, "I…"

I forced myself to meet his eye. He really was so fucking pretty.

I wasn't aware that my mouth had opened until I felt his thumb brush over my bottom lip. When had his hand reached my face?

Against my better judgment, my tongue dipped out - primarily to wet my lips, but incidentally lapping at his skin.

He even tasted pretty.

This close, I could see the blemishes underneath his makeup.

"Oh you guys are back."

Jiyong pulled away from me, scalded by embarrassment or annoyance.

Taeyang stood in the openway, in all the glory of what I was sure was one half of a matching couple's pajama set, holding a glass of water. His eyes shifted between the two of us. There may as well have been chemical formulas flying around his head with how hard he was staring at us.

Good lord I was glad to see him. His presence had been exactly the shock I needed to escape whatever was going on with me. Hormones, alcohol… whatever it was, I was glad for the distraction.

"I'll go first," I mumbled, carefully avoiding touching either of them as I moved.

=====

My body bounced with the force I had thrown myself at the mattress. The inspection I had given myself in the shower had confirmed what I already knew. I debated texting Daesung, weighing the chances of us somehow getting caught. Typically I'd have no problem staying quiet, but with how amped up I was… there was really no telling.

Though I had teased him about tying him to the bed. What better time to try it than ri-

My thoughts were cut off by a tapping at the glass doors. Scrambling for decency's sake, I retracted my hand that had been making its way between my legs of its own accord. I tightened my robe around myself before pulling the curtain aside just enough to see who was there.

I was greeted by raised eyebrows paired with one hand holding a bottle, and the other holding a pair of wine glasses. The eyebrows jumped comically. Laughing, I took a step back and unlocked the door to pull it open.

"I thought you might need to debrief."

I shrugged, making my way to the seat by the vanity.

"It's legitimately strange how well you know me sometimes."

Seunghyun just smiled as he toed off his shoes and slid the door shut behind him. After being prompted by a pointed nod from me, he made sure the curtains were back in place as well - a shield for our private conversations.

"I heard he took you on a boat," Seunghyun stated it like a fact, but I could tell he wanted confirmation.

I hummed, watching him uncork the bottle and pour us both a glass. His fingers were deft and swift. They moved with confidence through the series of motions.

"-by? Yah…"

I shook my head, pulling myself back to the moment.

"Sorry," I frowned, "what were you saying?"

He chuckled, holding a glass out towards me. I stood to take it, standing perhaps a little closer to him than was absolutely necessary.

He held his glass towards me. Raising my own, I lightly tapped it against his.

He gave me a pointed look.

"No," I said, "you should drink first oppa."

He raised an eyebrow at that, but he also raised his glass. After allowing him to take his time to taste the wine and swallow, I spoke up again.

"How is it?"

"Jammy," he said after considering his words carefully, "a little tart. Not bad."

I hummed.

He had to have known what I was doing. No way was I subtle about it.

He didn't stop me though.

I couldn't really make out such details that would lead to the descriptor of "jammy", but I could taste the remnants of sweetness and sourness well enough on his tongue.

After a moment I pulled away. Lifting my hand, I thumbed away an invisible droplet from his lips. The thumb was then placed against my own, my tongue coming out to taste it in a much more acceptable adaptation of the earlier moment with Jiyong.

Trained as they were on his face, it didn't escape my eyes the way Seunghyun's attention was locked onto the movement.

"Put that away before you cause trouble," his voice sounded strained when he spoke.

"Hmm…" I smiled up at him, "don't want to."

He took a moment to carefully place both of our glasses further back on the vanity. Straightening up afterwards, he took another moment to look me over. One of his arms looped around my back, pulling me close as his eyes ran over my face, neck, and assorted other spots of exposed skin.

Eventually, his eyes landed back on mine.

"How are you feeling?"

What a loaded question. I had already been fighting a losing battle against an unexpected wave of arousal when he showed up. I was a little embarrassed that all thoughts of Daesung had been pushed from my mind until this exact moment. That of course led to a brief detour into shame. That particular spiral was then cut short by how good Seunghyun's fingers felt on my skin when he reached up to brush my hair from my face.

His stern features were soft. It was a look that I kept seeing from him more and more often. A look I could see myself getting used to.

A look that simplified my answer.

"Good."

He nodded, serious as ever.

"A little more…" I tilted my head, thinking of how to describe it, "awake than I expected," I admitted.

There was a moment then. We both seemed to be waiting for something, but I didn't know what that might be.

It turned out to be my tongue. Once again, I slid it over my lips. More from nerves than anything else.

Seunghyun dropped his head slightly to press his lips against mine.

I hoped he wouldn't hold the sound I made against me. It was embarrassing enough just to have such a strong reaction to him. My head spun, thinking about the ups and downs of our dynamic over the last month. Or maybe it was from the kiss itself.

We had kissed before. Obviously. But this was different. This was a fight against a riptide, and I was more than willing to drown.

"Baby," Seunghyun was mumbling against my lips.

I groaned, annoyed at the attempted interruption.

"Baby."

He forced us apart this time. It was like he was determined to ruin the vibe.

"What?" I couldn't help the annoyed tone that slipped into my voice.

Confusion flashed over his face for a moment before he hardened his gaze.

"What happened?"

I blinked. I was not following his train of thought at all.

"What… you mean with Jiyong?"

He nodded, solemnly watching me.

"Nothing," I shrugged. "We went on a boat, we went to a sculpture park, we…"

I cut myself off. Did it really matter? A momentary lapse in judgment in a yacht hot tub with a man who was functionally my ex?

"Baby," softer this time, "you don't have to hide anything from me."

"We…" I huffed, then started again, "I…"

Seunghyun maneuvered the both of us, moving so he could sit at the vanity and pull me onto his lap.

"Take your time."

I let him pull me into him. Resting my head against his shoulder, reveling in the feeling of his hands soothing down my back. Breathing deeply, I could smell some faint cologne struggling to cover up that ever present tobacco scent that clung to him.

"It's stupid." I was pouting again, but trying not to let it color my voice too much. I'd much rather go back to the kissing than talk about how Jiyong could seemingly climb inside my skull at will.

"What is?"

"Me," I moved against him, getting my head into a more comfortable position. If that position also put me in closer reach of teasing his neck and ear… he didn't seem to notice, "probably."

"We both know that's not true," he laughed.

I didn't protest, but I didn't agree either. Instead, I simply sighed heavily, trying to sneak my lips onto where I could feel his pulse in his neck.

"Baby," he gently admonished me. His hands pulled me upright to meet his eyes again. "You know I'd love to keep going, but you also know this is a coping mechanism."

I rolled my eyes, "don't pretend you know me better than I know myself."

That got a reaction out of him.

His hand raised, tightly gripping my chin so there was no way I could look away again.

"Listen to me baby," his voice had gone deep with the intensity of his message, "I would have no issue fucking you until you couldn't walk, if that's what you truly wanted."

Another embarrassing sound eked its way up my throat and out from between my lips.

Seunghyun paused his lecture to kiss me, rougher than I had expected. He bit my lower lip, pulling a groan from me as he pulled back.

"However," he shook my chin slightly, demanding my attention raise from his lips to his eyes again, "I will only do so when I am one hundred percent certain that it is what you want and not just a distraction."

What was there for me to do besides blink? And after that, what option did I have but to start crying?

"Baby," he dropped his grip from my chin and tugged me against his body in a tight hug. "Oh, sweetheart, don't cry. I'm sorry baby. Please don't cry."

"I… I just don't understand…" I sobbed, embarrassment no longer a concern. "How…. He… Ji…"

"Deep breath baby," he crooned into my ear. He started rocking slightly, obviously going all out in his attempt to comfort me. "Breathe for me. You have all night to tell me what happened."

I'm sure all eloquence was lost as I tried to explain through unintelligible sobs and the deep breaths that Seunghyun would occasionally remind me to take, but eventually I was able to explain my concerns. At least to the point that Seunghyun eventually started telling me that I didn't need to explain anymore.

"It's okay, baby," his voice was low, quietly reassuring me, "I understand."

"The worst part is I don't even know why I care," I whined, "I just want him out of my head."

By now, we had made our way onto my bed. Seunghyun laid on his side, arms pulling me protectively into his chest while I had rambled out my complaints.

"Just being around him is like getting drunk," I mumbled. "I feel defenseless."

"You-"

A knock on the glass doors interrupted him. He frowned, looking down at me questioningly.

"Did you invite Daesung down?"

I shook my head, nerves twisting my gut.

"Maybe he want-"

My text tone interrupted me. Shuffling to free my hand from between Seunghyun's and my bodies, I turned to grab it from where I had dropped it on the mattress earlier.

From: Llyong Boho Awake?

I shut my eyes, holding my phone up for Seunghyun to see. I felt the soft vibration of another message coming in while he looked at the screen.

Seunghyun's jaw tightened. He took the phone from my hand and sat up.

"Don't…"

He leaned down to press a kiss against my forehead.

"I'm not going to message him. Just wait here for a moment, okay? I'll tell him you're sleeping."

I nodded, wondering why he looked so tense.

He stood up and ran his hands through his hair a few times. Back and forth, messing it up and then smoothing it back. After a second he undid the buttons of his shirt, all of them undone before he misbuttoned one near the middle. He paused for half a second. Nodding to himself, he then took his belt off. He let the leather strap land on my floor before he turned his attention back to me.

"Unlock your phone."

I pressed my thumb against the fingerprint reader and handed it over to him.

"Thank you baby. Pull the blanket over yourself, okay?"

I did as he asked, going as far as turning to face away from the sliding doors so Jiyong wouldn't see my face.

I heard the plastic rattling sound of the curtain runners, followed by the whooshing noise of the sliding door opening.

"What do you need?"

"What are you doing here?"

The crunching of gravel, followed by the whoosh of the door. I assumed Seunghyun had stepped outside.

It was a little disappointing to not be able to hear the conversation. However, I could appreciate not being drawn into it at all.

After maybe fifteen minutes, there was that whoosh yet again. I felt my body tense up.

"Baby?"

I relaxed, turning over to look up at Seunghyun. He gave me a small smile.

"He went back upstairs."

I nodded, "you didn't have to do that."

He placed my phone on the bedside table before unbuttoning his shirt again.

"I know, but I'd rather I deal with him than make you do it."

He moved as he spoke, draping his shirt over the seat by the vanity before turning back towards me. He nodded at the space next to me on the bed.

"Can I?"

Rather than answer, I simply opened my arms towards him.

His smile was wider this time, as he bent down to crawl up the mattress and over my body.

Supporting himself on his knees and forearms, he brushed his nose along my neck. It was followed by his lips pressing against my jaw.

"Hyun…" I sighed out his name as what had started as me baring more of my neck towards him turned into a stretch.

"Yes?" He asked, pulling away to watch me.

I traced my fingertips over his ribs and onto his back, pouting slightly. "Don't stop."

He moved, working one of his knees between mine and coming in for a kiss.

Just shy of my lips, he spoke again.

"I'm still not going to fuck you tonight."

I whined, digging my nails into his back to further express my annoyance.

He laughed, leaning onto his side slightly so he could run a hand down the side of my body.

"If you need me that badly," he paused to kiss my cheek lightly, "there are other things I can do."

His fingers paused, dipped just slightly under the waistband of my pajama shorts.

"Would you like that baby?"

[i-literally-cant-with-this]

A/N ::: I haven't written anything for like, a week now? I mean, nothing substantial. I started this 4 or 5 days ago and dropped it until this morning where I finished the last 3-5 pages. Anyway. I never write "Asshole Draken" because I really just don't see him pullin' that shit. But we all have bad days. And I guess this was one of his. But don't worry, it turns out so, so good (I think).

C/W ::: Asshole Draken x F.Reader, saying mean shit to each other, without saying too much, he gets a teeny itty bitty bit physical with her but that's all. He doesn't hit her so don't be completely deterred by this if that's what you were thinking. Uh, M->F and F->M Oral. Slight face-fucking, name calling (but it's ... ok? Idfk. Shut up.) I proofed this once cuz I got a sick kid that wants me to play roblox with her so I gotta go do that. If I missed anything shoot me a message and I'll check it out. I hope you guys like this!!

WC ::: 3,314 *roughly 8 pages on Google Docs* Sorry not sorry it's so fucking long.

He sat in the corner of the garage, working in near total silence on his bike. 

You came over today because he invited you. You thought it was going to be fun, sitting in there with him while he fiddled away with the machine. Boy, were you wrong. 

He was quiet for the most part. But when he did speak, he had nothing nice to say to you. He was really short for someone who was so much fucking taller than you.

You looked over at him, watching as he pulled the old engine out of the bike. He had a rag in his mouth and grease on his face. His hair was messy and his eyes were focused on the task at hand. You admired that determination. Still, you couldn't figure out what the hell his problem was.

You leaned back in your chair and crossed your arms over your chest. A question sat on the tip of your tongue, threatening to pass the closed threshold of your lips and enter the shared space. God you wanted to talk to him. Maybe you could help him find out what was wrong with the bike. You knew a thing or two about mechanics. Sure, not as much as he did. But a second set of eyes and hands rarely did more damage.

But then, the question died on your tongue. Because you knew why he didn't want your help. You're not even sure he wanted you there. You stood and headed toward the door to the house. Then and only then, did he finally speak up.

"The fuck you goin'." He said quietly.

You turned around and glared at him. "What?"

He set down his tools and pulled the rag out of his mouth. "Said, where you going? You're supposed to be helping me. You said you’d come over today so you could fucking help me with this goddamn thing."

"Helping you? Helping ...? Ken, you won't so much as even look at me. You haven't smiled at me, you barely said hi when I got here. And you're pissed at me?"

Ken stood up and walked over to you, towering over you as he wiped the grease off his hands. "I asked you for help and you said yes. I didn't ask you to just sit there and look pretty. Speakin' of, what the hell you wearing today, anyway? Is this supposed to be cute or somethin'?"

You rolled your eyes. "Yeah, I am just here to look pretty, Ken. I'm not here to do anything else. I'm not here to actually do anything."

Ken took a step back and scoffed. "Are you serious right now? Are you really just gonna act like this? You don't wanna be here. I can see that. You can leave, g'head. Get out."

You stepped away from him and squared your shoulders. "Fffffine." You challenged. "Your wish is my command, my King." Turned away from him now, you muttered under your breath what a dick he was being and how you didn't know for sure if he wanted your help today with this. If you had known, you wouldn't have dressed the way you did.

"Sorry? Did'n hear ya jus’ now. What was that?" He said it louder than he needed to. 

You spun around and met his gaze with your own. "I said, you're being a dick."

"Well, if the shoe fits, babe. And you're being a bitch. So, let's just wear these shoes, eh?" He shot back. “Let’s wear these shoes and jus’ walk away from each other.”

You were both silent for a moment. The air between you thick with tension. You could feel the anger bubbling up inside of you. Who the hell was he to speak to you like that? You came here to see him and he was treating you like shit.

You wanted to scream. You wanted to hit him. But you didn't.

Instead, you turned on your heel and stormed out of the garage, slamming the door behind you. He yelled at you to come back but you ignored him. You were done. Done with his shitty attitude and his shitty behavior.

Grabbing your jacket and your purse from the couch, you threw them both on and headed for the front door. You could hear his footsteps coming from the laundry room into the kitchen and sooner than you expected, they were right behind you.

"Jus’ gonna leave, huh?" He growled. "That's it? You're gonna walk out of here and leave me to finish this stupid fuckin' thing on my own?"

"You don't want my help, Ken! You don't even want me here right now! You've made that painfully obvious. So ... yeah. Yeah. I'm going to go. And you can call Mikey and have him suck you off while you two idiots do whatever it is that you do when you're toget---"

He grabbed you by the jaw and brought his face down to yours. "You … don't fuckin' talk to me like that. You understand? You're the only one who sucks this cock. An' right now I feel like you should be doin' a lot more of that than mouthin' off to me the way ya are. Gettin' on my las' fuckin' nerve righ' now, princess."

You looked up at him, shoving his hand away from you. "Ken." You said softly.

He pulled his hand away from your face and took a step back. "Mm? ... Ya got somethin' to say? There's a surprise."

You shook your head and bit your bottom lip. "I'm ... I didn't mean to ..."

He raised an eyebrow. "Oh, so you're ... what? You're sorry now? You always know the right things to say to me at the right times, don't ya? Yeah, yeah ya do."

You nodded. "Yeah. I guess."

He leaned back against the wall and crossed his arms over his chest. "So, what? You're gonna come back ...? You gonna help me with this goddamn thing like I wanted ya to? You think I want you here now after ya actin’ like such a shit?"

"Oh my fucking god, Ken. Make up your mind, would you? This conversation is like watching someone on a swing that's out of control. I don't know which way to look and I'm getting nauseous. Just fuckin’ …tell me what you want." You rolled your eyes so hard at him it felt like you pulled a muscle in your socket.

"Tch. There go ya world famous eye rolls again. You look like ya do when 'm fuckin' ya real good. You're good at those." He smirked. "You're so goddamn dramatic. Always making a scene. Just come back here and help me with this thing. I'll even let you hold my big, heavy tools, k, princess?"

You stood there, arms crossed over your chest. You were ready to throw hands with him if he said anything else. But he didn't.

Instead, he walked over to you and wrapped an arm around your waist. He kissed the top of your head down to your neck and whispered an apology. You could feel his breath on your skin and his body pressed against yours. You couldn't believe he was acting like what happened didn’t just happen between the two of you. 

"What the hell was that, Ken? You're such a ... a ... an asshole!"

He chuckled softly and kissed you on the lips. "I'm sorry, baby. You're right. I am an asshole. But you make me crazy, ya know? Ya little hissy fits irritate the shit out of me sometimes 'n I just explode."

You shook your head. "I don't want to be the one who makes you explode, Ken. Not like that, anyway." You giggled. "That's not why I came over today. I came here to help you. But I didn't even get the chance to. You didn’t give me the chance to. You were in a bad mood when I got here."

"We’ll get back in there and you can hold my tools like you always do. And I'll show ya what to do. Deal?" He looked down at you with a soft smile.

You smiled back. "Deal."

"Think you needa learn a little lesson about how you need to not take that bitchy ass little tone with me, hah? Follow me, now."

You watched Ken walk away and disappear around the corner into his bedroom for a second before what he was implying was registering in your brain.

"Oh. OH, shit." You caught up to him and found him sitting on the edge of the bed, his coveralls pulled down to his waist, he was leaning back on his hands. A vicious smirk set on his lips.

"Yeah, 'Oh shit.' Come here, brat." He reached back and took his hair out of its braid and tossed the tie onto the bed.

You walked over and stood between his legs. His hands were on your hips, gently caressing the  silky fabric of your dress. You were already wet for him and he knew it. It was written all over your face. The way your hips swayed when he touched you. 

"'M sorry I said what I said about what you're wearing today. You look really fuckin' sexy. It's distracting. I think you should take it off f'me." He gestured his hands downward, "C'mon. Get outta it."

You smiled and slid the straps off your shoulders one at a time. Then you slipped the dress down to your ankles, exposing your tits and pussy to him.

“No panties today, hm? You really had no idea I wan’ned your help with the bike?” His eyes were glued to your body. He stared at the roundness of your belly, rubbing it with the palms of his hands, sliding them around to the fattest part of your ass. He squeezed it gently and pulled you toward him, placing kisses on your stomach, moving down to your pussy.

His stubble tickled your skin as he kissed you. You sighed as he slipped his hands between your thighs and spread your legs apart a little more.

"What's this?" He dipped his fingers into your pussy and pulled them out, pressing them against his thumb again and again, holding them up to your face to show you how wet you were - like you were completely unaware of it at this point.

"You know what that is, dummy." You threw your head back, forcing your chest out a little bit more.

He laughed. "Yeah, I know what that is. What I don't know is why. Why ya so goddamn wet when you were just so fuckin' angry with me a minute ago. You like it when I yell at ya?" He was teasing, you knew he was. But his expression was anything but playful.

You shrugged. "It's not like I want you to be mean to me, Ken. But, I do … I kinda like the way you get when you're mad. It's ... hot."

Ken rolled his eyes. "Of course, course ya like it ... little freak like that. Just like when I fuck you hard and call you names." He licked his fingers and grabbed up your ass with a loud smack, making you yell out and jump closer to him.

You nodded. "I can't help it. I like it. And now? Well, now I know you like it too. You wanna fuck me like that, don't you? Fuck me hard and make me scream? Tell me what a perfect little slut I am for you? Tell me what a horny little bitch in heat I am? Fuck, Ken." You lowered yourself down and climbed onto his lap, straddling him. You could feel his hard cock strain against his clothes and he winced as you ground against it.

"Can't help it. You look at me an’I get wet sometimes. Can't fucking stop it. It's like my body is under your control." You whispered. "You know what I like."

He looked up at you with a wicked grin on his face. "Yeah, I know what you like. You like to be told what to do. You like to be bossed around. You like when I put you in your place, princess. An' I'm gonna do that. Righ’ now."

He stood, hoisting you up with him and turned around. Facing the bed, he lowered you down onto it. "Fuckin' slut. Startin' a fight with me just to get this cock. Tch. You asked for it, sweetheart. Fuckin' asked for it today ... 'n you're gonna get it." He shoved his coveralls down the rest of the way, leaving his boxers on and climbed down between your knees, kissing your thighs softly.

He rubbed your pussy with his fingers, ghosting them around your clit, teasing you, making you buck your hips up into his hand. He held your legs down with his other hand and sneered. "Did I tell you to fuckin' move like that?"

You raised your head off the pillow and looked at him, "N-no. Didn't."

"Sorry? N-no? N-no WHAT?" He mocked.

"NO SIR, you didn't tell me to move like that. 'M sorry." You smiled.

"Good girl ... learnin' fast. I like that. Good fuckin' girl. Keep it up, keep learning, keep behaving for me." He leaned down and kissed your pussy softly, moaning quietly into you.

"Hngh, fuck, Ken. Wanna move, please lemme move!"

"Mm-mm. No. Did'n tell ya to, did I? Hold the fuck still, princess." He smiled that smile at you and you could feel your cunt clench up immediately.

"Oh fuck, oh fuck, Ken." You whined. "I w-, I want it, fuck, please."

He sat up and shook his head. "Nah, nah. Not yet. You're gonna have to wait for it. Be patient."

You groaned and slammed your head back down onto the pillow. "Ken, please. I can't wait. Please, please, please ... fuck you. Holy shit."

He laughed harder than you thought he should have. "F- ... fuck me? You come over here and get all uppity and have the audacity to say that to me. Goddamn it. I don't understand why you keep making me teach you these lessons, baby girl. It's like you need to be taught the same shit over 'n over 'n over again."

You couldn't speak. You could barely breathe. You were so worked up and so ready for him to fuck you relentlessly. But he wouldn't. Not yet. You had to wait. And that was driving you crazy.

"Fuck, Ken. PLEASE. Please fuck me, fuck me. I wanna ... ngh ... you ... so fucking bad. Please, fuck. Ken. PLEASE." You begged.

He chuckled and stood up, motioning for you to take his boxers and pull them down. "Fine, fine. Since you asked so nicely." Take 'em off." You sat up and pushed his boxers down with both of your hands and kissed your way down his abdomen until they were all the way off and his cock slapped against your chin.

You took it into your mouth and sucked on it, swirling your tongue around the tip and then taking as much of it down your throat as you could.

"Fuck, fuck ... that's it, that's it ... suck that cock, suck thatttt cockkkk baby." Ken growled. He pulled your hair back and held it tight in his fist, moving your head up and down on his cock. You moaned and choked, your eyes watering as he fucked your face.

"Mmmm, fuck, you like that, don't you? Like when I fuck this pretty little face of yours. Fuck, it's so fuckin' perfect. Fuck, baby. Look at me, look at me." He lifted your chin and forced you to make eye contact with him. He groaned as you whimpered.

He let go of your hair and backed away from you, standing at the edge of the bed. "Get over here."

You crawled over to him and sat up on your knees in front of him, waiting for him to tell you what to do next.

"Suck that cock s'more, baby. I want to see that make-up fucking ruined on that sweet face of yours."

You took him back into your mouth and sucked him harder, faster. You moaned and whimpered as you bobbed your head up and down on his cock.

"Good girl, g-hah fuck-good fucking girl. Righ' there righ' there righ' there FUCK ... fuck yes."

He held your hair back and thrust into your mouth, making you gag a little on it. You looked up at him, tears streaming down your face. His eyes were closed and he was panting heavily. He was close. You knew he was close. You felt his cock begin to twitch against your tongue as you doubled-down on your efforts. 

He pulled out of your mouth and turned you around, bending you over the edge of the bed. He rubbed the head of his cock up and down your pussy, teasing you, making you moan and cry out for him.

"Ken, Ken ... ple- goddamn it! Ken, pleeeaaase." You whined.

"Mm-hm mm-hm, beg for it, bitch."

You both stopped and stared at each other when he said that.

It kind of surprised you. The both of you.

He furrowed his brows and opened his mouth, but nothing came out. He couldn't think of anything to say after that.

You had never been more turned on than at that moment.

You jumped up and quickly positioned yourself over his cock, sitting down just enough that you were sure he could feel you as much as you could feel him. Both of you pulsing over the touch of the other.

"Ken, Ken ..." you whined against his lips.

He kissed you and pushed your head back with his hand, forcing you to look up at him. "Mmm, fuck, baby. What do you want? Tell me what you want, slut."

You moaned at that and sunk yourself down onto his cock, taking him all in at once. "Wan' this, fuck ... wan' you s'bad."

"Yeah, yeah ... you fuckin' do. You want me to fuck you so hard you can't fuckin' move anymore. That's what you want, right? That's what you want, sweetheart."

It was not a question. He flipped you over and onto your back and he began fucking you at a brutal pace. "Fuckin' wanna get wrecked by this dick. Gonna get so fucked out you can't do anything but drool. Fuckin' slut. Fuck ... fuck yes."

You could barely speak. You couldn't form a coherent thought. All you could do was moan and whimper and whine.

He fucked you so hard and so fast, you weren't sure how he was able to keep going. He leaned down and kissed you, his tongue in your mouth, his cock in your pussy. It was bliss.

You screamed out and he bit your bottom lip, growling at you, "Fuck! Fuckin' love it when you scream like that, baby. Keep doin' it, keep cryin' 'bout how good I fuckin' feel n’side of you."

You wrapped your arms around his neck and held onto him for dear life as he fucked you into oblivion. He was relentless and unforgiving. You could feel him tense up and you knew he was about to cum.

He groaned loudly and thrust into you a few more times. You could feel his cum rush into your deepest places. He collapsed on top of you and you both gasped for air.

"Holy shit, Ken. Jesus fuck." you said through deep breaths.

"Right." He chuckled. "Gonna have to be an asshole more often."

You reached down and pinched his ass between your thumb and index finger.

"Hey! The hell ...?" He kissed the tip of your nose. "Did'n mean it. I know better 'n that."

"Yeah, don't forget who this pussy is attached to, princess." You laughed and shoved him off of you so you could help him finish the work on the bike before the day was over.

@kazutora-kurokawa @ryuuc00chie @katkusuo @darkstarlight82 @viburnt @southside-otaku @arlerts-angel

[kenxmatsui]

"Hey, I smell nice," he protested, "Perhaps not like chocolate martinis, but at least it's not smoke." Which he had only stopped smoking for her sake. Ken didn't really have much of a substantial answer when she asked again, it wasn't as if it was a hard thing to do, to head back inside to fetch drinks both of them, "I'm not saying I don't want to drink with you…" he began, however before he could complete that sentence, he felt himself becoming undone by the teasing tone of her voice, "Leyla…" he drew out her name, features, tone, even thoughts softening with the way her fingertips brushed over him yet he knew his answer would disappoint her, because not only wasn't he in mood but Ken knew were he to take up that offer, were he to give into such a moment, to such a romantic setting, under candlelight and starlight, there'd be very little stopping the question to voice itself, it sat perched on the tip of his tongue ever so impatiently, how could he resist? It already proved so difficult, "Rain-check?" he posed the reply extremely apologetically, "I'm just…tired."

As silence seeped in her voice drew him away from own head, hushing the thoughts that kicked up in the static stillness. Expressing had always been a issue for him, not just concerns but even just talking about feelings felt exhausting, something he was maybe one percent better at since she came into his life even then, such a thing took time to voice. And were it not for her saying his name in is entirety he would've liked brushed it off with some ill-fitting excuse. "You. Mostly on the many times I worried you." He sighed a little, turning to look at her properly, brushing a lock of her away from her face as he continued, "When I went to check in on Dilan, her tantrums shed some clarity on things, I didn't make it easy for you did I? Can't even recall if I properly apologised for that behaviour." He had been grateful of course that she made sure he was still alive, but there had been moments where he held her at a distance and wanted her to stay away seeing as nothing good ever came to anyone for being around him. But she stayed. "Does it count for anything if I say I'm sorry, now? I try not worry or burden others, but you've been through far too much because of me."

That was the start of it, rolling onto his back to face upwards, he closed his eyes for a a beat of quietness to weave through before voicing the rest, "There's Rohan, he's been feeling off for a while and I worry it hasn't improved after recent events. Meena too, especially since searches have been futile, it's infuriating. Then there's Dilan, she's… I don't know where to begin with that one." Everything she had said near mimicked his outlook and concerned him greatly even if he had been too annoyed to show it at the time, it pooled into his features now. "Haru as well." While he had been extremely glad they left during the chaos of the night, he knew Haru was still trying to wrap their head around everything, and Ken had not helped the situation with dumping everything onto them. There were others too; Billie, Jas, even fucking Song that he had been thinking about. "Is this what caring for people feels like?" Ken mused out loud.

"Good, I'm glad you're saying it. I didn't want to push you but I didn't want you to retreat into yourself either. You don't have to hide with me, okay? Whatever you're feeling, even if it's nothing, tell me and I'll do the same." He would try as best he could at least, and no sooner had he said that, the test came to prove it. He took a minute, because he had, admitting to such a thing, even if it was Leyla was difficult but pushing past all he had been taught to not show emotions, to not admit weakness, Ken jerked his head to what he hoped resembled a nod, "Yes. It's not something that'll ever go away. You make it better though, make me happier, but that feeling still sits within me. I don't see it ever going away." In a way, he didn't want it to, who would he be without it? He had no intention of finding out.

Thankful to divert his mind, he followed along as she connected twinkling dots to what formed the constellation, how she could figure that out he had no clue but closing one eye he too drew the outline with her in the darkened sky, "Mhhm, I think I got it." Ken repeated the movement, a peaceful task that resulted in a slow smile to creep along and dimple his cheeks, "Why is that your favourite?" Hands soon dropped to interweave with hers, "There's a story? Tell me."

"Maybe," She peeked up at him. The corner of her lips itched innocently up at him as she gave him the best pleading look she could muster. "Okay, but why can't you smell like chocolate martinis or Marlow or Cabaret? Wine smells nice," She reasoned. "But- but why?" Her gaze narrowed in on his. Trying to no avail to hide the amusement in her gaze as she watched him teasingly reach toward the door. "Don't you want to drink with me?" She blinked up at him, rolling over so that her petite frame was now sprawled across his chest. Her fingers all the while trailing up his arms as she continued to make her pitch. "It could be romantic? I could light the candles, you could pop the bottle and we could watch the stars or we could even get the bathtub going?" She tried to tempt him.

"Kenji," She whispered softly up at him as she asked him once more, "Talk to me. Please? What are you worried about?" While months ago, she knew hearing his worries would only make her more worried herself on both of their behalves, now she just wanted him to want to tell her what was on his mind, even if she might not always like the answer.

"Yeah, I do. I need to say it. Even if it still doesn't quite feel real." She knew what he meant. She knew he was trying to let her know that she didn't have to push herself to say it out loud if she wasn't ready to, but as the words left her mouth, she realized she had needed to say for herself just as much as for him. "And you're allowed to worry. I think it's only naturally to? It just sucks, I guess? To know there are some things we might be afraid to tell one another because of how much we love each other?" She admitted quietly. "Do you still feel numb? You can answer honestly. I promise," Leyla brought herself to ask after a prolonged moment.

"Right there," She reached up to the sky, tracing the constellation with the tip of her fingers. "It's the five bright stars here. They make a W shape. Though, you can see them better from the telescope. You know the story, don't you?" She tilted her gaze back up at him from where her head still rested against his chest. Her wide brown eyes, all the while, soaking in his expression, as if to commit the way he looked when he soaked in her favorite constellation to memory.

[froggysoup]

wowee

Alrighty I’m just gonna ramble on about my thoughts on the new quest (and things in general because I talk too much) and pray that at least some of it ends up coherent. Spoilers, by the way.

I’ve had this first theory since the last archon quest but got nervous and didn’t share, so here it is now. Maybe it’s an obvious thing that I’m just in the dark about, but I’m fairly sure that Dainsleif’s “Boughkeeper” title has a large part in explaining why he knows so much about things he really shouldn’t. From the newest quest, we learn that he is actually cursed with immortality, which could explain some it, but the guy still knows too much for it to simply be chalked up to his age. He’s literally the designated narrator for half of the official videos and knows a lot about what and who he talks about.

I suspect that the ley lines serve as an information network of some sort, and that Dainsleif’s position as Boughkeeper allows him access to it in one way or another. The only other places we really see the whole tree/branch thing is with the ley line branches, Irminsul trees, the Frostbearing Tree, and the tree who once had roots that spanned the whole continent (which we know the ley line branches were once directly a part of), all of which are connected in a way that I haven’t quite figured out yet. 

Now, from those screens that come up while the game is loading, we know that supposedly, the intertwined roots of the Irminsul trees far beneath the earth determine the pattern of the ley lines above, and we also know that ley lines are a “mysterious network that links the whole world together” and that they are said to remember everything that happens in the world. From this, I don’t think it’d be that much of a reach to say that Dainsleif can access that somehow.

Next. I do think there’s a pretty good chance that the Archons were involved in the destruction of Khaenri’ah. The Viridescent Venerer set actually tells us how the former Dendro Archon died during the cataclysm while in Khaenri’ah, which. Uh. That’s kind of really incriminating. 

However! Obviously, we’ve only heard this from Dainsleif’s point of view and he’s pretty biased considering his whole thing. We don’t know how much control Celestia has over the Archons’ actions, either, and I’m about 98% sure that some of them weren’t into it, and likely didn't even have a choice. Like, look at the Tsaritsa. Her whole thing is that sometime during the cataclysm, she witnessed something so view-shattering and unjust that her whole thing now is to “burn away the old world” and overthrow Celestia. 

I also can’t see Venti and Zhongli going along with the destruction of an entire nation with no hesitation. Like, obviously, again, Dainsleif is going to be biased, but from what we’ve been told Khaenri’ah didn’t even do anything divine-retribution-worthy. Celestia just seems be into dropping skyscraper-sized pillars and other things onto nations who get too good at being independent, for whatever reason. The new quest is definitely supposed to make us question the current systems of this world but I don’t think we’re meant to hate Venti or Zhongli, at least yet. I think they’re even kind of meant to be seen as the “best” out of the Archons, so to speak. (Not that I think they’re perfect, by any means.)

Like, just look at the way they’ve been presented to us, versus how some of the other Archons have been introduced (Storyline Trailer, my beloved). 

Raiden Shogun is made out to be some self-absorbed divine ass-kisser who doesn’t have humanity’s best interests at heart (which we know is supposed to be a thing you do as an Archon). She’s doing her whole confiscating visions and oppressive rule thing in an effort to be seen as more divine, but, as Dainsleif puts it, “what do mortals see of the eternity chased after by their god?”

The Dendro Archon/God of Wisdom is implied to not actually be as smart as somebody with that title is supposed to be, one way or another, and either has turned a blind eye to or blatantly encourages the “push for folly” in Sumeru. Can’t tell exactly what that would mean or entail (thanks, Dainsleif), but obviously. Doesn’t sound good.

Dainsleif says of the Hydro Archon that she “lives for the spectacle of the courtroom, seeking to judge all other gods. But even she knows not to make an enemy of the divine.” While the not making an enemy of the divine thing I get (I guess, coward), the whole “seeking to judge all other gods” bit seems very “remove the log from your own eye”-y. Like, you’re an Archon, too, what are you trying to prove here?

The Tsaritsa is- well, the Tsaritsa, as we know. While I do think we are meant to sympathize and agree with at least part of her core ideals and motives, she still is the one behind the Fatui and is, by extension, a war criminal. She also apparently has “no love left for her people”. It’s a bit of a complicated relationship that we have with her.

The only ones who Dainsleif does not directly slander in the trailer are Venti, Zhongli, and Murata. While I don’t think we have enough on her to come to any conclusions about her character yet, Venti does say of her that she is a “wayward, war-mongering wretch”. Now, he does also jab at Rex Lapis during this voiceline, but unlike with Murata we know that those two are buddy-buddy and it was very likely that it was “buffoon (affectionate)”.

Venti and Zhongli are also the first two Archons we encounter, which is important for multiple reasons.

Gonna derail for a bit because I don’t know where to start. But. The game very likely will (or at least should) end with no Archons.

Obviously, especially in light of the new quest (although this stuff has been floating around since the Dragonspine update and even before that), Celestia Bad. Like, cataclysmically bad (lmao). In fact, I’m highly certain that you could trace basically every problem in this game back to them, some way or another.

Even our main “villain” groups all seem to be gunning for Celestia. The Fatui obviously work for the Tsaritsa, who’s made it very clear that she plans to rebel against the divine. The Abyss Order, too, has their Deeply Upsetting plan of creating a mechanized god with the power to “topple the divine thrones of Celestia”.

Evidence points to an overthrow of Celestia at some point in the game, and considering how being an Archon or even a god is directly tied to Celestia, yeah. No more Celestia means no more Archons.

But even besides that, there’s a lot there to suggest that that’s where things are going.

I find it interesting how Mondstadt’s our prologue chapter, or that there’s even a prologue chapter of the game at all. Prologues are meant to set up ideas that will be present throughout the rest of the story, and Mondstadt does exactly that. Venti’s let the people of Mondstadt govern themselves and has almost completely been out of the equation for millennia, even if that means he is significantly weaker than his godly peers. When asked why he chose to do that instead of remain in charge and just give them freedom, Venti responds that “freedom, if demanded of you by an archon, is really no freedom at all.” This sentiment is also brought up in the Mondstadt portion of the storyline trailer, and the traveler even has a whole voiceline debating what Venti really meant when he said that.

This idea of freedom and that humanity is capable on its own is further reinforced in Chapter 1, in which Liyue learns to move on from the death of its Archon. Zhongli set up his plan with the intention of testing if his people could stand on their own legs without him there to guide them, and they do. He even expresses how pleasantly surprised he is that the Qixing were able to take advantage of the situation and seize control like they did. Keqing gives us this whole speech when we first meet her about how the adepti and gods underestimate humanity’s capability and how Liyue’s future is meant to be a godless one. This, in a way, extends to the rest of the continent as well.

In the storyline trailer (which I quote too often, I’m sorry. My favorite and only party trick is that I got bored one day and memorized the whole thing), Dainsleif spends the entire Khaenri’ah section musing about something similar. 

“In the perpetual meantime of a sheltered eternity, most are content to live and not to dream. But in the hidden corner where the gods’ gaze does not fall, there are those who dream of dreaming,” is obviously about the people of Teyvat vs. those in Khaenri’ah. While a future under the care of the Archons is a safe and reliable one, is it one that allows humanity to chase its potential to the fullest? Khaenri’ah was destroyed for flourishing like it did without gods, both as a punishment and a warning to everybody else.

“Some say a few are chosen and the rest are dregs, but I say we humans have our humanity.” This is in reference to visions. Throughout the game, this idea that, at least in the eyes of the gods, vision holders are more important than those without them, is constantly brought up.

In the commission “Leaves on the Wind”, Dr. Edith expresses how it often seems as if vision holders are the main characters of this world. From the notebooks we receive during the “Time and Wind” world quest, we learn that the Sumeru Academia actually discourages non-vision holders from conducting outdoor surveys, and how “these days... trying to be an academic when you don't have a Vision, it's really restricting...” Dainsleif even just straight up asks us what we think the gods think of vision holders and people in general during question time in that one quest.

In Lisa’s stories, we learn that the reason for her laziness is that a part of her is afraid of learning or doing too much, after witnessing what “uninhibited erudition” can do to people during her time in Sumeru. She also senses that something beneath the surface is happening regarding the distribution of visions. “For whatever reasons, the gods gave humans the key to changing everything, but they did not explain the cost involved. Lisa grew fearful of the truth.”

I forgot exactly where I was going with that last paragraph, but yeah. There’s definitely sketchy shit going on behind the scenes in regards to visions, possibly to keep people either quiet or complacent. I suspect it may even be to restrict access to certain knowledges or even the elements themselves. Anyways.

I lose track of my thoughts too often. Fuck. Right. Mondstadt and Liyue served as good examples of society under the rule of the Archons, and in Chapter 2 we will encounter our first bad example, showing us the pros and cons of the current situation. However, despite Zhongli and Venti seeming to genuinely care for their people, humanity’s wellbeing shouldn’t be reliant on how their god is feeling that day, and they shouldn’t have to look to the gods for a chance to become something greater than themselves, either.

Um. All that’s to say I’m just very excited to see where the story will go, and if Zhongli’s contract with the Tsaritsa is any indication then it’s gonna go somewhere good. Celestia bad, Archons bad but also not bad but also bad, I don’t know if what I just wrote actually even counts as understandable, thank you and good night.

[ohthemis]

Hey I don't know if you're taking requests, if not then please ignore this ask :)

Can I request a scenario where the tot men forget their s/o birthday due to being busy with work? Maybe angst to fluff? It was my birthday today and no one besides my mom and sister remembered so I'm a bit down

Love your writing and keep up the great work :D

tot boys and forgetting your birthday

characters: artem wing, marius von hagen a/n: this is soooo late, but if you’re reading this, i hope that looking back, you still enjoyed ur birthday <3 super belated birthday from me, anon

ARTEM WING

you absentmindedly press the power button on your phone, once again checking for notifications. you’re greeted by celestine’s name, followed by kiki’s, then captain morgan’s rather short but nonetheless, meaningful, message. even kanon’s message appeared not too long ago. “happy birthday to the best legal consultant!” his happy message reads.

despite all the cheerful messages that have popped up anywhere between 12:00AM last night to a few hours ago, you can’t bring yourself to check the message, or even clear them out of your notifications. the stinging ache of the fact that artem had forgotten. 

you swipe up, unlock your phone, and give him a call. it’s 6:00, he should be on his way home since most of your cases are already or almost are on the process of being cleared up. “mc? i’m on my way home, love.” he’s smiling at you, not a single sign of guilt or anger or anything that might make you think it was deliberate. you think that your birthday just slipping his head might actually be worse.

it’s silent for a while, and when he looks at you, his heart feels a pang at your crumbling face. “mc? what’s wrong?”

“do you know why i had a day off today? or did you forget that too?”

silence. 

the calm. 

then followed the storm.

“i am so sorry. i’m on my way home. i’ll take you out tonight, alright? i’m so sorry, mc. a client called and i’ve been driving back and forth from the firm to wherever and-, i am so sorry.”

you nod because you’re not sure he'll even understand what you’d say between your teary babbling and muffled sniffles.

“i’ll be home soon. i love you, ok? and happy birthday, love.”

then followed a night of good food, good company, and heartfelt apologies.

MARIUS VON HAGEN

“marius,” you hiss under your breath, “where are you?”

“no need to sound so mad, jiejie! i’m just finishing up here, i’ll be home soon.”

“home? marius-,” you take a sharp breath, “marius, what do you mean you’ll be home soon?”

“uh...should i not drive home?”

you hang up. you’re in a dress HE got for you, sitting on a table HE reserved, and all you wanted was for him to show up. so much for “i’ll make this the perfect day”.

but if there’s one thing you know, you’re not going to let that ruin this moment. if he forgets, that doesn’t mean you can’t still enjoy your day. you order and eat. because hell, nothing was going to stop you from claiming what was rightfully yours. a good fucking dinner, even if it was without your good fucking boyfriend.

you storm in your shared home, marius jumping from his seat on the couch. “are you mad?”

“check the date today, marius.”

maybe he just didn’t feel like it, or maybe it was the unbridled rage in your voice but he does as you say without any further questions. he visibly pales, “oh.”

“yeah. oh.”

“something came up, i-”

“don’t even bother marius. it’s my birthday and you’re not ruining this for me twice.”

“mc, i’m so sorry.”

“let’s talk tomorrow, yeah? good night.” you don’t wait for his response before heading up the stairs.

“good night, i love you.”

“not right now, marius.”

later that night, you’ll feel the bed behind you sinking as marius gently slips in, and if you hear a few stray “i’m sorry”s and “i love you”s, marius can just wonder why you’re in a substantially better mood in the morning.

[hotch-stufff]

Surprise, Surprise

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x F!reader

Warnings!: there are no warnings, im not telling you a single thing. It's a surprise. Just read and find out ;)

Also, as much as I love him, Jack does not exist in this story, wasn't really sure how to write him in.

Author's Note: I'm so sorry that I haven't written in a while, I have had no inspiration and my bf dumped me so... ya'know that was nice. Anyways, finally getting some inspo, hopefully I will be writing more. Hope you guys enjoy this one :) Also, the mood board is mine, but the images are all from pintrest.

Word count: 1.4 k words

This is an emotional roller coaster

------------

You couldn't breathe.

You couldn't move, or speak.

Your knees gave out as you fell to the floor, sobs racking your body.

You felt arms wrap around you, but it didn't help. You were suffocating. He was your air, and he had just been ripped from your lungs. 

He was gone, dead.

Your husband.

The love of your life.

Aaron Hotchner was dead

* * *

You don't remember anything after the doctor uttered those words. You don't remember Rossi picking you up and holding you. You don't remember the sad glances, the tears shed by your teammates. You don't remember the car ride to your now empty shared apartment. You don't remember lying down and sobbing into the pillow for hours.

No, you only remember the pain. The unbearable pain of loss.

He was gone. Really gone.

You cried and cried for hours on end. Until you had no tears left to shed. 

Then you just lied there, staring at the wall, gripping his favorite shirt in your arms, remembering every little moment with him.

And it hurt like hell just thinking of everything you did with him. The day you met. Your first kiss, your first date. The day he proposed. Your wedding. Every little thing. 

And you wouldn't be able to do anything else. You wouldn't have kids with him. You guys had just talked about having a baby just the other day. He wanted one so bad. 

You shouldn't have waited.

Because now, now he was gone.

* * *

The next few days were a blur. You found yourself with home-cooked meals overflowing your fridge. A team member at your house every night. But it was all a blur.

All meaningless without Aaron.

The funeral was coming up. You didn't make any arrangements, you asked Rossi if he could handle it and he quickly agreed. 

He had taken care of finding the casket, picking a place, and finding a burial site. Everything. 

The only thing you had asked for was a closed casket.

You couldn't handle looking at him.

* * *

On the day of the funeral, the girls all came over to help you get ready. 

"Alright y/n, do you have a dress?" Penny asked as she walked out of kitchen.

"In the closet." You croaked. Your voice being hoarse from the crying and lack of speaking for the past two weeks.

"Okay I'll grab that, and shoes. Jj is going to make you breakfast and Em is going to do your hair okay?" You gave her a sad smile and a small okay.

Penny quickly walked back your hallway as Em began pulling your hair back in a low ponytail. You felt the tears begin slipping down your face once again.

Jj saw as she walked back in the room with a bagel and coffee.

"Oh sweetheart." And the dam broke. They comforted you the best they could. But they couldn't even imagine what you were going through, because he was gone.

* * *

The funeral was a blur. It seemed like everything was these days. 

It was a beautiful service. You don't remember much. Lots of hugs and 'sorry for your loss's.

It had gone quickly, and soon you found yourself in Rossi's living room. Everyone but the team had left, you sat alone. The rest were in the kitchen cleaning up.

You didn't move from your spot, sipping your wine.

Everyone walked in, and found spots around you.

It was silent. Not a single word was spoken.

"I'm taking a leave of absence." You spoke.

6 pairs of eyes shot to you, but they couldn't say they were surprised.

"It's just too much. I'm not ready to come back." Your voice was quiet. Rossi was the first to say anything.

"Take all the time you need." 

* * *

And you did. You spent about 3 months in that apartment, alone and sad and heartbroken. 

But you realized that Aaron would never want you to live like this. And you really needed to be able to pay the bills.

So after those 3 months, you gave Rossi a call. He had become until chief since you had left, and he instantly accepted you back to the team.

You were slowly getting better. 

Each passing case a distraction. 

Each one fixing you just a bit more. 

Each one giving your life a purpose, a meaning again.

And you felt better. You stopped crying yourself to sleep. You stopped sitting in silence for hours on end. You stopped crying every time you thought about him.

But you still visited him every week. You still thought about him everyday. You still wore your wedding rings, refusing to take them off.

But you were better. 

* * *

A few more months went by and you started going out with the team again. You spent more time with them. Almost every weekend. And you were somewhat okay.

And it wasn't until about 8 months after his death did your world come to another crashing halt.

You had been called in to the BAU, not entirely sure why, but you came in none the less. 

You figured it was a case, but Jj hadn't specified on the phone, which was strange.

You had walked up to the conference room, and were surprised to see the whole team sitting there ready to go. 

"Hey guys, do we have a case?" You asked, but Jj sent you a sad look causing you to grow worried.

"Y/n, you should sit down for this." You had no idea what was going on. What on earth was happening. "Peter Raymond recently resurfaced, and was taken into custody this morning about an hour ago. He resisted arrest and pulled a gun on an officer. He was shot and killed." Your heart hammered in your chest. He was gone. The bastard who killed your husband was gone. Rossi stood walking towards Jj.

A pit grew in your stomach, there was more, something you didn't know.

"8 months ago I made a decision that greatly affected this team. Aaron Hotchner received substantial injuries from the wounds he endured, but his surgery was a success and he was airlifted to an unknown location. His identity was changed in order to keep him safe. But he is alive." 

You couldn't believe your ears. He was alive. Alive? 

Your eyes shot to the door and there he stood. 

Aaron Hotchner. 

You couldn't breathe. 

You couldn't move or speak. 

He was alive, you should be ecstatic.

But you only felt anger.

Your eyes shot to Rossi.

"How dare you." You whispered out, surprising the team. You weren't an angry person, you never yelled at your teammates. But you, you were seething. "How could you do that. You knew he was alive and yet you let me suffer. You watched as I cried day and night. You watched as I let myself go, as I lost myself." You shook your head in anger.

Aaron stepped forward reaching out for you, but you shook your head.

"Dont touch me. Don't fucking touch me." You felt the tears fall down your face. Again. "You left me. You're dead. You're gone. Y-you left." You were shaking and crying and once again Aaron reached out for you, but this time you let him.

He brought you into a crushing hug, holding you like you had begged to be held for months. 

He was here, really here. You could smell and feel and see him. He was really here.

"Y-you bastard. You left me." You whispered desperately as you cried into his shirt. 

The team was quick to disperse. They too were mad at Rossi, and they wanted to reunite with Hotch. But they left you be, at least for now.

Aaron pulled back slightly, looking down at you.

"Sweetheart I'm so sorry. I wish I didn't have to. But he would have killed you and then he would have killed me." He had tears running down his face as well now. But you were so angry at him.

You pushed him away.

"I could have gone with you Aaron. You could have gone into witsec. You didn't need to fake your fucking death Aaron!" You yelled at him. you couldn't even believe you were eating this conversation.

"Y/n please, I'm so sorry." You were mad yeah, but you were so overwhelmingly relieved that it overpowered your anger. "I missed you sweetheart." He whispered out and you broke just a little bit more.

"You bastard. Y-you stupid man." You pulled him back to you and slammed your lips together. "You stupid, stupid man." You gasped out between kisses. 

"I know, I'm so sorry. I love you." He stated after you pulled away.

"I-I love you too." You were sobbing at this point.. "Don't ever do that to me again." He nodded, leaning in to kiss you again.

And you kissed your husband.

Because he wasn't gone. 

He was right here.

And god did it feel amazing to have him back

------------

Thanks for reading! Requests are still open, so ask away! Currently I'm only taking requests from my prompt list, which is right here! School is starting up soon though, so i may not be writing very often, but i will definitely try! Anyways, if you would like to read more of my work, here is my masterlist.

[lesamis]

"recoiling from self-recognition through the other etc etc" please talk about this more 👀

ohh i'd love to! thank you anon, i'm desperate to unleash these thoughts on someone. sorry if they're a bit long, i unfortunately care deeply about stede and izzy and the Things They Share.

to start with: stede and izzy are obviously extremely different people. that's like, 90% of where their conflict stems from, and i'm not trying to argue that they're in any way on the same journey, so to say, from a narrative point of view. still, i think it's fun to wonder if there isn't some element of inward cringing to their very visceral hatred of one another. these two loathe each other before they're even competing for anything substantial, certainly before it becomes clear that they're both in love with ed. so what else is there about the other person that sets their teeth on edge so much? in part, i think the polarity's off; they're quite similar in a few ways that neither of them likes, or cares to look at too hard.

a few things izzy and stede have in common, some more and some less significant, all of which notably also set them apart from ed and the rest of the crew:

they're neat – ed cares about how he looks, so do all the crew, to some extent, but most of them tend to have some level of artful dishevelment going on. the crew don't really have the means to not look grubby, ed does, but still wants his appearance to seem effortless, but stede and izzy visibly care. stede with his meticulously coordinated wardrobe and outfits matched to occasions, izzy with his perfect posture, his One outfit and its neatly tied cravat and securely placed ring, both of them with not a single hair out of place. looking at izzy, you just sort of know that this man would love a manicure. you'll just never hear him say it.

they're intense, in ways that maybe don't seem immediately similar because their intensity has such different expressions. you can tell from izzy's stance, from his outbursts and his snappiness and bullying how tightly wound he is; with stede, it really tends to show more in his thin skin, his over-eagerness, his bossy little fits with the crew. “is he always this highly strung?” ed asks about stede, and who might that make him think of?

in connection to that last point: they're both so repressed, and so disastrously bad at saying what they want out loud. barely anyone on this show has a tighter lid on their more intimate emotions than stede and izzy do between eps 1 and 9. two events s1 shows us in direct succession are 1. izzy trying to manipulate ed into killing stede, then stabbing stede himself, in order to separate him from ed; and 2. stede contriving an entire treasure hunt in order to get ed to stay with him. these aren't equally deranged responses, izzy clearly takes the cake here, but they're both very elaborate ways of failing to say one and the same thing to ed, which is basically just don't leave me.

to end on a lighter note, they're extra. their entire first meeting is them trying to out-drama each other (and not hating it at all, for a second there). we only see this a few times, but whenever izzy thinks he has the upper hand, he's kind of funny and almost like. playful? in a way that i find mostly comparable to stede when he's planning his fuckery in ep 6. so when the two of them meet in ep 2, they're actually so fun and dynamic together! izzy's silly little flourishes when he shreds stede's shirt, stede's stupid haunted island story, “this isn't over mr bonnet” with that evil little smile. “good, 'cause i kind of enjoyed it”. they both did. i know this

i think especially on izzy's part, there's an element of “i have that same weakness, but i repress/handle/ignore it as any man/pirate should” to his abject loathing of stede, a begrudging of liberties taken that's not entirely without envy. stede cares a lot less, which is where their differences come in again; stede is nowhere near as obsessive, possessive, or angry as izzy. he is, for all his hard-headedness, a lot more well-adjusted, and has no real reason to single this one man out as the bane of his existence. but i still think their few similarities play some role in their (imo endlessly entertaining) relationship – they did, after all, fall for the same complex, difficult, layered and loveable man.

[wowsoboring]

Deconstructing baseless Harry Potter arguments #1: Harmony Edition

There’s a very helpful account on instagram (this instagram page merely gathers toxic harmony shippers, they don’t ship Harmione or hate all Harmione shippers, please don’t send them hate, show them love and support) where you can essentially find stupid fucking bashers who make baseless arguments. I’m all for Harmione shippers, as long as they don’t denounce Romione, bash Ron and just peacefully co-exist. To my pleasure, such people are out there: they just dont seem to be seen as often as the ones that are not nice. Maybe all I see is the mean people and the majority is nice, but in this post, I am attacking those who make baseless claims and bash Ron/Romione/Hinny/Ginny. I don’t myself hate all Harmione shippers. On top of that, as a Romione/Ron fan, i do acknowledge Ron’s character flaws along with Hermione’s and I hold them on the same pedestal.

This is copied directly from my own instagram page, granger.weasley_ on ig.

Anyways let's get deconstructing

1)

rebuttal:

Yeah okay mf; maybe don’t compare real-life relationships with fucking fictional ones. Your relationship going wrong has nothing to do with Ron/Hermione. It has everything to do with you and your ex: the *real life* people involved in it.

2)

rebuttal:

The weird subreddits and discord servers also seem to have a lot of die-hard Harmione “non-canon” shippers. They bash Ron and Romione (along with Ginny and Hinny) with a burning passion without any objective sense of remorse. They ignore all the merits of Ron’s character and bash him to push their agenda. They can’t even do so much as fucking acknowledge any of Hermione’s character flaws but still somehow manage to fixate on that one time when 11 year old Ron just shit-talked one line while Hermione had just publicly humiliated him in front of the Charms class and practically shouted at him for doing the spell wrong just before. I personally don’t because Hermione was 11 too and wasn’t that good at social cues that early on, which is more than okay. Neither am I.

Only a few people in the Romione fandom bash Hermione. And it’s not like Harmione shippers (most, not all!) don’t bash Ron and Ginny remorselessly, right? The fucking hypocrisy.

If someone considers Ron as the best member of the trio, it is their own opinion and not a fact. I do that. If you consider Harry and Hermione as the best member of the trio or in the whole wizarding world, most people don’t give a flying fuck and probably won’t argue with you because it is simply an opinion. That will only happen when you pass that off as a fact.

Statistically speaking, most (not FUCKING all) Harmione moments are in the movies. The weird dance scene especially. The passionate kiss that happens in Ron’s vision, shit like that. Ron is pushed to the sidelines in the last set of movies while Harry and Hermione show each other endless love and support. “I’ll go with you”. The books on the other hand, describe Harry and Hermione as siblings multiple times, with very little Harmione references.

3)

rebuttal:

So you don't want us to fixate on the large majority of Harmione shippers who do the exact same thing, just kissing Hermione's and Harry's ass and hating on Ron. However you will fixate on people who are most likely not EVEN bashing or hating but pointing out a few character flaws in Hermione in a fair and unbiased way. I would know, I'm a huge fan of Hermione as an individual character (in the books). The only criticism I've seen of Hermione to this day has not been bashing. In the comment section of my own fics (shameless plug) I've seen some Hermione bashing. On an ao3 comment section. And I've seen so damn fucking many people bashing Ron, Ginny, the Weasleys etc. and garner tens and thousands of upvotes on quora.

What does Ron even need excusing for? The running away incident and Krum. What does Hermione need excusing for? Canaries, contributing to Ron's insecurities by making him jealous through Cormac and Krum even though she didn't even like them (especially not Cormac, she fucking hated him). Ron wore a locket that literally highlighted his fatal flaw (insecurity) in an echo chamber. Harry kept getting annoyed when Ron wanted to check in on his family. Harry asked Ron to leave; Ron didn't say that shit in the books about Harry's parents being dead: that was plain shock value.

And sorry for repeating myself but I have seen quite a few Harmione shippers bash Ron and Ginny and excuse every single thing Harry and Hermione have done.

4)

37 upvotes on this weird comment that makes no sense? Echo chamber alert! You know what us Romione/Ron fans all have in common? We have never experienced such an echo chamber. I made a pro Ron/Romione post on reddit and got a considerable amount of people who bashed Ron and Romione in the comments.

The amount of Hermione haters is very few compared to Ron bashers. Nobody hates Hermione for being independent, determined, etc. We dislike perfect movie Hermione who’s an unrealistic image of females and seems like some sort of agenda than a real woman. Most Romione shippers/Ron fans and book fans in general (except for you apparently) dislike movie Hermione and still are fans of realistic book Hermione. Most, not all. In general, we do not claim anyone who does the exact same thing to Harry and Hermione that these sorts of Harmione shippers do to Ron, Romione, Hinny and Ginny. I say this on the behalf of all Romione shippers and Ron fans.

Ron's not a bitchy lay-about drama causing loser. That's Steve Kloves's movie Ron. In the books Ron is realistic and simplistic and apologizes whenever he causes problems. He acts up substantially twice in a span of 7 years where he is also a hormone-fuelled teenager.

This is so contradictory and juxtaposed to the point of near delusion. First you talk about how Romione shippers bash Hermione and then you bash Ron as a Harmione shipper. Mate, fighting fire with fire will get you called a hypocrite. Fix yourself.

5)

So the movies are fine when they work according to your agenda? And yes how dare he add such a (fake) chemistry fuelled moment between Harry and Hermione while defeating the entire purpose and groundwork for Romione, the sadness caused by Ron leaving and so many more things? Those Harmione moments you mention seem friendship -esque more than anything else.

Steve Kloves's moments ruined many things while just paying fan service to the Harmione fans he'd birthed through years in the course of 6 movies where he showed Ron as a, how you so eloquently describe it, lay - about drama causing bitchy loser, Harry as one dimensional and Hermione as a zero - dimensional Mary Sue who might as well be the main titular character. Obviously Harmione fans such as yourself don't see the problem with it as it fits your narrative

6)

We do care about Harry and Hermione at large. Most Romione shippers rightfully bash Draco, Pansy, etc. not particularly Harry and Hermione, that's quite rare. Harry and Hermione can get along without Ron as friends. Ron and Harry can also get along without. Hermione as friend. So can Hermione and Ron without Harry as friends or more. I don't understand your point and how what you said is any different than Romione or Ronarry’s friendship.

7)

Constant arguing is not what they do. They bicker, they apologize, and sometimes they just do it for the heck of it. They are argumentative teenager. Opposites attract doesn't work in the sense of fire and ice, it works in the case of Brownie and ice-cream. Ron is passionate, laid back and insecure. Hermione's passionate, a workaholic and not as insecure. Ron can help her get calm and composed and get her to give herself a break. Hermione can motivate Ron and re - enforce his confidence.

It wouldn't be step incest. Harry and Ginny do not regard each other as siblings. They do not look similar whatsoever. And a Harmione shipper also bashes Hinny and Ginny along with Ron and Romione? Checks out

" that fucked up Harmony" hahaha. What?

8)

Are you literally going to date someone on the basis of what Harry Potter ships they prefer? That is so shallow end depraved. Your Harry Potter ship preferences should not be the groundwork for your dating life. Please understand that. Harry Potter is a fictional world which is not real. Hogwarts doesn't exist. Magic doesn't exist. I sound like a Dursley but that's what it is: a fictional realm with fictional character. I would personally not give a fuck if my best friend or significant other was a Harmione shipper. In the case of them being a Ron basher, I would ignore it as if it was just a minor inconvenience and something we wouldn't be discussing and that's how it should be with you. Fuck BuzzFeed, your opinion on what Harry Potter ship / character is your favorite says squat about your personality and relationship with others in a romantic or platonic context. But who cares? Live your life however you want. I'll be stoic.

9)

It's not opposites attract rubbish or high school opposites attract. Ron and Hermione aren't polar opposites like I said, they are a bit different but similar too in many ways. They have a lot more in common than Harry and Hermione. Ron and Harry have the most in common. Both Ron and Hermione are passionate, loving, argumentative, caring, etc. Your argument lacks substance. It's biased trash. And what does “obhwf " mean?

---------------------------------

at the end of the day, i’m just an annoyed teenager. I try my best to be open-minded to people but only as long as they are too. I tried to use my brain more than my feelings for this post. 

[boxofbadaddiction]

Trust You to Cheapen the Moment

George Weasley x Reader

This story is inspired from a request of my F.R.I.E.N.D.S Themed Prompt List.

Prompts: 8 & 12

"Come on, [y/n or Character] just take off your shirt and tell us!"/"you're over me? When were you...under me?"

Warnings: Sexual innuendo. Swearing.

"Congratulations on a great game tonight boys!" Lee Jordan called as Fred and George entered through the portrait hole, still sporting their Quidditch uniforms which were currently soaked in sweat.

"Thanks mate" the Twins replied in unison.

The match had been against Ravenclaw and although Gryffindor naturally won, it hadn't been an easy feat. One which involved George coping a rather nasty bludger to the ribs. As such their win inevitably concluded with a stern lecture from their team Captain, Oliver Wood who remarked their performance as "sloppy". This being the reason as to why they were late to their own victory party.

"Well, hello boys" [Y/N] called as she made her way toward the three boys by the entrance, accompanied by a friend of her own. "Playing a tad messy these days, aren't we?" She goaded with a cheeky grin.

"Oh, alright [Y/N]! Red Hot you are. Sounding frightfully like our beloved Captain." Fred replied as everyone laughed.

[Y/N]s attention fixed to George as her face wore a notably more sincere expression. "How you feeling, Georgie?" "Like I took a bludger to the guts." He chuckled somewhat painfully. "I'll live, just need a good hot shower and to get out of this sweat drenched uniform." He tugged at the tight fabric which clung uncomfortably to his skin.

"I'll happily help you out of it, if you find yourself in need of a spare set of hands?" [Y/N] wriggled her eyebrows. Smiling at his friends innuendo George ran his tongue over his bottom lip before raising his own brows, as if contemplating the girls offer.

"Yeah, alright you two, wrap it up!" Fred intervened pushing the pair back by their shoulders as if stopping a fight. "George, as much as I'm with you on that shower and change idea, need I remind you we have a...previous engagement to attend to." He pointedly looked to his brother.

"What 'previous engagement'" Lee questioned.

"Super secret Weasley Twin Business." Fred winked.

"I can't believe you're leaving me out of your super secret twin business!" Lee protested, feigning dejection.

"Sorry, Lee" George offered a consoling smile. "Forget you. What about ME!" [Y/N] interrupted. "Come off it, there's no way you planned a prank without me..."

"But we did" they shrugged. "It's nothing for you to worry your pretty little head over" George teased with a pout. "What is it?" Lee asked, but the two remained quiet.

"Oh, come on, George. Just take off your shirt and tell us!" [Y/N] spat with a wicked grin. George stepped toward her slowly placing both of his large hands either side of her jaw and peering into her eyes. He leant down so his mouth was centimetres from her skin, whispering into her ear "Not happening, lovely." His hands slid down her neck, passing over her shoulders before finally retreating at they met her elbows. He smiled at the ever so faint blush that fanned her cheeks. "Okay, fine. So you won't tell us. But seriously...where'd we land on the shirt situation?" [Y/N] yanked on the uniform fabric playfully while biting her lip.

"Oh would you two just fuck already! This whole teasing thing makes my stomach turn." The other Weasley rolled his eyes before grabbing hold of his brothers wrist, "come on, lover boy. We've got mischief to attend to." He pulled George away from the group of friends, but not before he was able to send a suggestive wink to [Y/N] over his shoulder.

Fred did have a point when you thought about it. [Y/N] and George had been friends since first year after spending a day in detention together for being caught out past curfew, for separate reasons. [Y/N] and the Twins always had a playful relationship and it seemed impossible for them to go more than three minutes without making a joke or coming up with some new prank idea or bet between the three of them. The relationship between [Y/N] and George however, over the years, became substantially more provocative. Never becoming physical by any means, mainly they just threw a lot of innuendos toward one another. Just a bit of harmless, totally platonic, flirting really.

It'd been that way since their fourth year which makes it a few years now that Fred has found himself uncomfortably situated between the two obviously pining best friends, whom continuously deny any such feelings of course.

While the Twins had set off on their...other business, that left the remaining three to enjoy the Post-match festivities currently unfolding within the Gryffindor common room.

A little while into the celebrations, [Y/N] and her friend found themselves accompanied by some of the more eligible bachelors of Gryffindor Tower, about ankle deep in discarded Butterbeer and Fire Whiskey bottles.

"Come on, [Y/N] how's about a dance?" Dustin, a rather attractive boy she knew, spoke with an endearing smile gracing his face. "Flattered as I am by your proposal, I must decline." She slurred. "Why not?" The boy reached for her hand tracing small circles on the soft skin with his thumb while he stared into her eyes. "Because I don't fucking want to." The girl laughed retracting her hand from his. "Excuse us, won't you boys?" Her friend stood, pulling [Y/N] up with her. "Uh-oh...I'm in trouble" she faked concern before breaking into giggles as she was pulled from the common room.

Finding herself promptly being dragged down a flight of stairs into the adjoining corridor which, given the time, was obviously eerily abandoned.

"What's the matter with you?"

"Uuhh you mean aside from the fact my buzz was just absolutely murdered after being ripped away from a party I was thoroughly enjoying? Not much." She rolled her eyes. "I mean, why do you keep turning Dustin down? You know he fancies you! Why not give him a chance?" Her friends voice was sincere and a little giddy as she questioned. "Because I am not interested in Dust Bin." [Y/N] doubled over in laughter at her own joke. Latching on firmly to her friends shirt in an attempt to remain upright. Cackling styled laughter reverberated off the deserted corridor walls as [Y/N] was being shushed and told to compose herself. "Quiet [Y/N]!" her friend giggled at the state of her. "Is it, you're not interested in Dustin, because you're still hung up on George?" "Pffft, Pah-LEASE I am so over George." She slurred with a dramatic shove of the friends shoulder.

"You're over me?" The words called from behind her and like a cool breeze on the nape of her neck chills ran sharp through her spine. [Y/N]'s eyes widened while the friend infront of her smiled brightly, sending a taunting wave her way before disappearing back up the stairs to the common room. "When were you...under me?" The girl couldn't bring herself to turn around, she could practically hear that devious smirk playing on his voice. Her body was rigid as her blood ran cold. Talk about a sobering experience. Shutting her eyes tightly to muster the courage she tentatively began to turn her body, facing the boy with a painfully embarrassed grimace.

"You heard too much of that for me to get out of this on some elaborate lie, didn't you?"

"Yep." George stood smugly before her. Hands deep in his trouser pockets as he'd obviously had that shower and change he were so desperately craving. He looked good. White button up with the sleeves scrunched above his elbows haphazardly and a lazy Gryffindor tie around his neck. [Y/N] found herself having to swallow a lump in her throat at the sight. "Right from the rather insensitive comment made of my good mate...Dust Bin." The ginger chuckled taking a few steps forwards.

[Y/N] let out a long, defeated, sigh turning her head over her shoulder in thought. Her jaw clicked as she contemplated her next words carefully. If only she could think of anything to say. She was fumbling over various syllables, all of which were incoherent. George laughed at her nervousness and held a hand out for her to take, "Come here." He spoke softly. What else was there to lose? She accepted and felt as her body warmed from the feeling of his hand gripping hers tightly.

Neither said a word as George lead her quietly further away from the Gryffindor Tower. It wasn't until they approached the Astronomy Tower stair case [Y/N] made to speak, but was promptly shushed. 'You'll see' he told her.

The Weasley stopped at the top most stair, watching her as he slowly opened the door leading to the balcony. Eyes never leaving her face, smiling sweetly as he witnessed her expression shift slowly from one of bewilderment to awe.

Laid out in front of them was an abundance of pillows, set upon a thick blanket, surrounded by various sweet platters and floating candles like the ones in the Great Hall only much smaller. [Y/N]s hands sprang to her mouth in shock, she'd never seen such a romantic setting. Staring from the picnic to the stars that shone so brightly over head, with every Galaxy and Constellation clearly visible, she was lost for words. A startled gasp was the only noise to peirce her lips silence.

George watched fondly at the sparkle held within her eyes. Nothing but love in his as he stepped behind her, hands gently resting on her shoulders to move her forward. He nestled into the side of her neck while he walked her slowly so he could whisper in her ear, "I had actually planned on telling you first, tonight, about how I feel. But it seems you've unwilling stolen my chance." "Oh George..."

"I know, it's bloody good right?" He commented cockily. "Come on. Sit."

"So I take it this was the super secret twin business you had to attend to?" She said smiling as he made himself comfortable beside her gazing towards the sky.

"Yep. That and Fred wanted to set off some Dung Bombs in Snapes office. He's down there now." [Y/N] began to laugh and she suddenly captured every ounce of Georges attention. It's in moments like this he found her most beautiful. When she were genuinely happy. "You shouldn't have gone through all this trouble." She spoke earnestly. "You're worth it."

"That's so cheesey."

"You love cheese!"

"I do don't I?"

The two laughed, [Y/N]s head dropping as she did so before George raised her attention back to him with a finger placed delicately under her chin.

"[Y/N], I've liked you for so long now that I-I can't even remember when I realised. I just...did. You mean so much to me that it's scary" he was kneeling before her now. Hands grasping hers, "and I don't want to hear that you're over me because I don't think that I will ever be able to get over you." [Y/N] was staring fixedly into his eyes, heart thundering in her ears. Unable to believe this were happening. "I fall for you a little more everyday. I fall with every smile. Every laugh. Every sleazy innuendo you throw my way. I can't help falling and I just couldnt go another day without knowing if there were even a possibility that you may feel the same way. If you fall for me the same way I do for you. It's why I took that hit today, on the pitch, I was so distracted about tonight that I-"

"You saying that was my fault are you? That you got hurt." [Y/N] was smiling widely, eyes glistening with tears she knew were unlikely to fall but were there nonetheless.

"Ab-so-LUTE-ly it's your fault!" George continued her teasing with a beaming smile that shone nearly as bright as the stars above them.

"I do George. Feel the same. I'm not over you because...because there's just no getting over you."

George let out a relieved and amazed breath. He doubted he'd ever felt happier in his life than in this moment.

Both his hands came to rest either side of her face as he hastily leant his face towards hers before restraining himself. Eyes pouring into hers as hers were staring back. "Can I kiss you?" He whispered.

[Y/N] smiled softly, hands coming to lay gently on his elbows, "yes" she breathed before nodding quickly. A hand shot up behind his neck to bring their faces together, lips meeting for the first time. He pulled her into his lap swinging both arms around her waist as her free hand tugged on his tie.

[Y/N] pulled back to catch her breath while George peppered soft, frantic kisses down her jaw and neck.

"So tell me..." her head fell back in pleasure as she clung to him for support and felt as he hummed against her skin in response, "now that we've established I'm not over you. When can I get under you?" She smirked chuckling slightly. He rolled his head up to meet her gaze, staring unbelievably at her words as a reluctant smile crept across his lips. George groaned at the pun before pushing her down into the pillows, body hovering above hers as she left out a squeal at his action. Laughing in a way only George could ever make her.

"Trust you to cheapen the moment."

[roomeight]

*i’m sorry in advance for the really long ask !

i just wanted to ask you something/ hear other people’s thoughts. with these allegations with graham and everything going on, it’s very confusing and really upsetting to hear really.

(i haven’t really kept up with all the allegations all that well, but it does seem suspicious that these kinds of things have been going on for years at this point.)

it’s also low key scary that people are just realizing what this means for graham and how we perceive him, and what this could mean for people like them (ex: the other blur members — i’ll get to that point in a little)

(right now proving the allegations isn’t really the point of this ask, but this doesn’t mean that i’m denying the believability or anything like that.)

recently it just feels weird to listen to graham’s music, and i’ve been starting to listen to blur and other things he’s worked on less and less. i’ve been so disturbed by the allegations and this bigger issue of perhaps even more allegations and disturbing things from others that we haven’t heard of.

(like the fandom has already “disowned” alex james, and now people are doing that with graham .) i think its a disturbing issue that i don’t think i’m the only one to notice.

i was talking to another person about these whole allegations, including how alex james was kinda “disowned” from the fandom (like i said before) and they were like “well yeah that’s how things were in the 90’s, damon and the other members of blur (and hell other bands, even, and all the iffy behavior back then - the first thing that comes to my head was when people were talking about alex’s weird behavior especially with the whole, “your ugly but i’m going to fuck you anyway” and other weird behavior) was more normalized back then”

and in a way, yes, they do have a point, it was probably more normalized,

but i can’t help but have a feeling like this is a bigger issue, because we’ve seen these things happen time and time again.

so now i’m just like, “who’s next?”

This has been a long time coming for Graham I think, and I'm sorry cause I know this is hard af to stomach esp if you are finding out about it for the first time. I talked to a few old Blur fandom friends who were active around 2008-2015 and the Graham stuff is kinda traumatic (for lack of a better word) for us because it dredges up a lot of difficult feelings we tried to bury. All of us older fans took some sort of sabbatical from the fandom to cope with the reality of Graham's behavior, and now most of the older fans need some distance from Graham's b.s. cause it is really upsetting. Personally I'm sad because I thought Graham had gotten better, so while I wasn't the super Gra fan I used to be, I could enjoy his music. Now it's pretty hard to listen to Blur or Graham.

As far as the fear of other members being canceled, yeah, it's scary. But I do think Graham is an outlier because he played with fire a lot and was too public with how he cheated on Essy. I mean, in the early Twitter days he was very blatant and that wouldn't swing now with call out culture. He knows that, which is why he's way more under the radar with his tweets. This has come up a lot, and he's been protected by the fandom every time. If someone is an older fan, you know this, and if you can you can say something substantial about the Graham situation - without risking your mental health too much - please do. It's important to say something. He needs to be held accountable. I'm trying to do what I can but it is really taxing.