#i talk to people until we slowly drift apart

[acetheta]

does anyone even like me at all lol!

[vitiateoriginator]

Finding the blogs of some of your ex-friends is so wild

[crushpunky]

actress!reader and drew go public

masterlist | actress!reader masterlist

this takes place early 2021 from actress!reader and drew’s timeline here

The two of them had been going steady for nearly a year, spending nights in their shared apartment (and now shared bedroom) or on set for OBX season two, surrounded by the cast they’ve grown to consider family. Even if they couldn’t go out and have date nights at fancy restaurants or lively clubs, the two of them didn’t mind as long as they had each other.

“What are you thinking about?” Drew asked, his fingers brushing slowly through y/n’s hair as she rested her head in his lap. She peered up at him, the soft blue of his eyes looking down at her softly.

“I’m so happy, Drew.” Y/n whispered, her lips drifting into a smile. Things were so strange right now, the world slowly beginning to return to a new normal, but still she felt a comfortability despite this change. She had something she had never had before: Drew. Next to her every morning, invading her every thought, she had Drew, and she couldn’t be happier… but with the way things were changing, could that change too?

“Me too, baby.” Drew smiled back, pressing a kiss to the tip of y/n’s nose. She scrunched her face, her cheeks heating up as Drew straightened back up, his gaze still locked on her.

“I’m so happy, but what are we going to do?” Y/n said, playing with her hands in her lap nervously. “I mean, things are opening up, people are going to… notice.”

“What do you mean?” Drew asked, tilting his head and drawing his brows together. Her head was beginning to wander, wandering to thoughts of people talking, rumors, drama…

“I mean… we’ll have to tell people eventually. About us.” Y/n whispered, swallowing harshly as her eyes scanned over Drew’s face. He looked away from her for a second, taking a deep breath as he bit his lip, his own mind beginning to swim with questions. He had worried about how things could change between them when their relationship was no longer just between them and the people closest to them before, how it could scrape away at their connection until it burned up.

“I’m not going to lie,” Drew sighed, looking back down at y/n, “I’m scared, I’m nervous, but… I know we can do it.”

Y/n sat up, turning to straddle Drew’s lap, the two of them staring back at each other.

“I know we can, I just… everything is so, so perfect right now.” Y/n said, her hand moving to entwine with Drew’s. She didn’t doubt they could do it, could take the leap and let others know, she just didn’t want to lose this. These soft moments between the two of them, sitting on the couch or taking a stroll around the block, things so sacred that would inevitably become fewer and fewer when others would get involved.

“Things will change but… we won’t lose this. Us. I won’t let it happen. I can’t.” Drew whispered, squeezing y/n’s hand lightly. Y/n smiled softly, moving to brush a stray strand of hair back from Drew’s face. Sure, things would change, maybe they’d lose some of these moments, but would that make them and their relationship any less perfect? As long as they had each other, and the love they knew they shared, how couldn’t it be this perfect?

“You always know just what to say, don’t you, Starkey?” Y/n grinned, pressing a kiss to Drew’s cheek. The boy blushed, the familiar light pink she loved so much dabbing across his cheeks.

“I guess I’m just a perfect boyfriend.” Drew smirked, causing y/n to roll her eyes playfully and lean away from him. Drew snaked his hands out to pull her hips closer to him, chasing her lips with a kiss and sending tingles down her spine. She giggled against his lips, smiling widely before pulling away to look at Drew. She always thought he was hot, sometimes even ridiculously so, but this was her favorite look: lips kissed bitten, cheeks flushed, and hair lightly tousled.

“I guess you are.” Y/n grinned, pressing one last kiss to Drew’s lips before reaching over to the side table for her phone. She unlocked it and opened the camera, moving to rest her cheek against Drew’s before taking a photo.

“What are you doing?” Drew asked, peering down at y/n’s phone as she typed quickly, a small grin on her lips.

“I’m gonna share my perfect boyfriend with the world.” Y/n said, turning to look up at Drew, his own smile matching her own. The fears and worries that had flooded her mind suddenly seemed small to the warmth of Drew’s lips on hers, the smell of his skin, the sound of his voice, the way his words engrained themselves in her very soul… all things she knew nobody could take from her. She wouldn’t let them. She couldn’t let them.

Y/n finished typing, showing Drew her phone screen. He shook his head, kissing her gently before pressing “post”, not even bothering to look at the screen. It could’ve been the worst photo ever taken (it certainly wasn’t) with the most typo-riddled writing caption (it certainly wasn’t), but it was them. Authentically, stupidly just two idiots sitting on a couch… head over heels and ridiculously in love.

[lvrhughes]

Lost (In The Corn Maze) | J. Hughes

pairing: Jack Hughes x fem!reader

summary: Your best friend convinces you to go to a corn maze with him, while there he reveals his feelings for you.

word count: 1.04k

warnings: getting lost?

requested: no

not my gif!

“Come on, it’ll be so fun!” 

Jack's smile alone was almost enough to convince you that you needed to go with your best friend, however the fear of getting lost in there made the choice that you should not. 

“Even if we get lost, they have people who come to get you at the end of the night, it’ll all be fine.” Jack’s words were filled with reassurance, never making you feel foolish for the fear, only assuring you that you’d be safe with him. 

“Okay.” 

Jack could’ve jumped up and down at the word, fighting to keep down whilst he instead hugged you, spinning you around the small living room of his apartment, where he had lured you in with the offer of free coffee. 

“Jack, promise not to get us too lost.” Your voice was filled with a sense of dread, fearing walking into the tall stack of corn with Jack. 

“I promise we won’t get too lost.” He repeated back, holding his pinky out for the promise. 

“Okay, I trust you.”

He smiled at the words, trying to hide the butterflies that seemed to flutter in his stomach at your words. 

He grabbed at your hand, pulling you beside him as we walked, confidence oozing from his figure as he led. He walked slowly, mumbling things as you walked, keeping your hand tucked in his. 

“Jack?” 

Twenty minutes had passed, jack every so often talking back to you, assuring he knew where you were. 

“Hmm?” He paused, stopping to face you fully as he saw another dead end ahead. 

“Where are we?” 

There was a slight shake in your voice, the thought of being lost in the maze for any longer lingering in your mind. 

“Oh, lovie it’ll be fine, I’ve got you.” 

The return of the old nickname did not help the fluttering of butterflies in your stomach as Jack reached out to hold you, pressing your body against his to calm your nerves. 

“I’ll get us out okay?” 

You nodded at his words, matching his eye contact, before he surveyed the area, deciding that you two must go to the left. 

Yet another twenty minutes had passed before he stopped again, checking the time on his phone whilst he leaned against a stalk of corn, almost falling through the wall. Laughing gently at the sight of his fall, Jack smiled at you, his pupils wide and face illuminated. 

“Don’t look at me like that.” Jack only grinned more at the words, his movements fast leaving him holding your waist, keeping you pressed against the wall of corn. 

“What are you doing?” 

Jack was unfazed by the question, his hands still holding your waist, ensuring you wouldn’t fall into the maze. His eyes never left your face, occasionally drifting down to your lips and back up whilst you stared at him. 

“Something I should’ve done a while ago.” 

The words fell from his lips as he leaned in, slow enough to leave you time to back out, not that you did. Waiting for the feeling of his lips on yours whilst your hands moved to run through his hair, letting his arms completely wrap around you to hold you against him. 

His lips pressed against yours softly, keeping his hold on you whilst you sent a gentle tug to his hair, hearing the soft groan he released. 

“Don’t do that here baby.” 

The words had you blushing, Jack leaning back to whisper them against your lips. His hands moving softly along your back encouraging your body to relax in his hold. 

“I think we should get out of here so we can go home.” 

Jack nodded at the words, moving in such a way he never had to take his  hands off you, leaving them holding your waist whilst he paused to think. 

“You don’t know where we are do you?” 

Jack’s face flushed at the question, answering it without speaking, whilst you lightly smacked his chest. 

“You said you wouldn’t get us lost!” 

“I didn’t, until you distracted me then I forgot where we were.” “How did I distract you?”

“You let me kiss you.” 

Jack grinned as he spoke, pressing another chaste kiss to your lips before you could answer. He pulled back quickly, turning you in his arms to walk with you in his hold. 

“Where are we going?” 

“The exit.”

Jack pointed, the large break in the cornrows marked with a sign on the ground, about 10 feet away from you. 

“You knew exactly where we were.” 

Jack just smiled, leading you towards the light and the sweet smell of hot chocolate. Moving you towards the table of hot chocolate at the end, set up for the ones who finish the maze, to grab a cup. Letting the cup warm your hands from the October breeze that filled the arm, Jack’s hold keeping the rest of your body warm. 

“Let’s head home, hmm?” 

Jack hummed, his arms around your shoulders while you walked through the row of pumpkins that filled the rest of the farm, ignoring the corn maze behind. 

“Mhm.” 

You nodded, following his movements to lead you back to the car. Letting him open the door for you as you sent him a soft smile, one he reciprocated instantly. He was quick to move around to the drivers side, sliding into the seat with ease and starting the car in a fluid motion. 

The ride back to Jack’s apartment was short, filled with soft music as you fought to stay awake in the passenger seat. Jack gently waking you to get out of the car, grabbing your leftover hot chocolate for you while you headed inside. He was quick to follow you inside, watching you fall onto his couch while you waited for him, turning the TV on to some random halloween movie. 

“Jack, come lay down.” 

Jack turned at the words, removing his eyes from the kitchen to look at you, curled in one of the throw blankets you’d talked him into buying, waiting for him to join. 

“I’m coming.” 

He moved quickly, discarding his keys on the counter to lay with you, his head on your chest while you ran your fingers through his hair, lulling him to sleep.

[lesvii]

The Dinner

Valeria Garza x F! Reader

Valeria Garza fic… yeah this is the diner by Billie eilish😶‍🌫️… anyways hope u enjoy

Tw: toxic val, brief mention of smut (just touchy).

You’ve been living in a small apartment, big enough for two people. Waking up at 6am coming home at 2am. You’ve work two shifts at least to keep the rent going. Working in a coffee shop near by, at night on bar 5 min away from your place. Today was a calm evening, you sighed as you walked back to you place, fist clenched. You knew Las Almas wasn’t so “calm” at least at night… you knew you had to be careful, looking backward once in a while, just to be sure no one was following you. But that feeling of someone watching you didn’t wash away.

Don’t be afraid of me.

I’m what you need.

You’ve arrived at you place at 2:30 A.M. as you took your work shoes off and change to some comfortable pink fluffy slippers. You turned the TV on, exhausted as you stroll to the kitchen opening cabinets to see what quick meal you can make. Until something catches your eye.

“We been notified that a near squad militar unity had capture a cartel suspect, just a quick reminder on how Las Almas is quite a dangerous place—“

The TV when quiet for a second when you served yourself a bowl of fruit and yogurt as you sat on the couch near the TV. The lady on the screen looked nervous, quite astonished as she talked to someone behind camaras.

“I— um- we’ve been informed that the suspect we’ve mention has scaped the military quarters, we suggest you to no go outside past midnight, keep your doors locked, and don’t answer the door if you don’t know who they are”

“The characteristics we have been informed is a Tall woman, tan skin, tattoos in both arms, dark short hair, we repeat—“

I saw you on the screens.

I know were meant to be.

It got cut off by you changing the channel, but sadly this was all over the news, you groan as you finish your dinner.

A thunder straddle you as you jumped from the couch, you looked outside the living room window as a thunderstorm was covering Las Almas when a huge thump made you turn around in shock, you walked slowly as you tried to gather yourself, a cold breeze hit your body from behind as you turn to see the door was open.

“Fuck.. that scared the shit out of me”. You mumble as you came to close the door, this time with a lock, probably the wind made that.

You stood in silence as you decide to go upstairs to your room, wash off the stress, you took a shower, put on a set of black silky shorts and a top, quickly hoped to bed, closing your eyes, you drift to your dreams quickly.

A black shadow stare at the corner of the room, your breathing becomes heavier as you can see the woman described walking towards your bed, a knife at her hand, looking at you like a prey, the next meal she’s gonna have before disappearing into the darkness again.

You’re starring in my dreams.

In magazines.

Your looking right at me.

You scream, waking up cold sweating as you try and regulate your breathing back again, you groan as you rest you face in your hands. That’s why you don’t like to watch TV so often, too many deaths and negative propaganda. You sighed as going back to sleep wasn’t an option, finally your body stopped shaking. Nothing but a mare nightmare right?.

You sat up on bed as you turn to face your nightstand where your clock was at 3:33 A.M.

The devils hour.

What a coincidence you thought as a shiver down your back was known.

I’m here around the clock.

I’m waiting on your block.

You heard a weird creek on your stairs, strangely the same as when you set your foot cause by a weight, they are wooden stairs after all, they do made noices, you think. You stay silent for a second as you decided to be brave enough to get out off the comfort and safety of your bed, as if no monsters could ever get you there. You slowly open you bedroom door, as you peak your head a little to watch, not being at peace you decided to go downstairs quietly.

Step by step, slowly but calculating your way down to your living room, your breathing a bit on edge, you hear a noice coming from your kitchen, scared shitless you turn to see where the noice is coming from, but fear not, for your surprise was just a loose branch clicking the kitchen window, you decided to peak on the window.

“Care to have some company, chula?”

A husky voice straddled you to the point you were too scared to look back, you froze in the middle of the kitchen, as your worst fear came true.

But please don’t call the cops.

They’ll make me stop.

I just wanna talk.

You left out a trembling sighed as you turn around to face the femenine husky voice. You shook your head as you open your mouth to speak but for a moment nothing c,w trough.

“I— I don’t want any problems just take whatever you want and go-“.

Your voice practically trembling, fighting the urge to not look weak. She makes a low giggle, as she takes a step towards you.

“Really?, anything I want, careful for what you which for florecita”.

She grins taking a final step towards you, as she examines your face, the moonlight hitting your face in the most perfect angles. You stare right into her eyes, there’s something about them… something about the way they look at you, with desire, lust, possession.

“You know… I was planing to knock the fuck out of whatever perro was living here…”

Valeria makes a pause examining your apartment surroundings.

“But— I didn’t knew there was a pretty little thing living here, now you’ve just changed my mind?”.

She said as she caressed a strand of hair that was messy from the commotion.

“How about I bring you back to my place?, you can have anything with me, just name it.”

Bet I could change your life.

You could be my wife.

You stare at her confused of who she was, what was she doing here?, and now she was telling you she was going to take you away. What’s this a kidnapping of some sort?. You started to panic but something kept you grounded, the way her hands were now resting over your hips pulling you closer to the heat of the older woman’s body. You looked down to her hands as you looked away in shyness.

“Aww, no chula don’t go all shy on me now..”

Valeria said, making little circles with her fingers massaging your hips. You sighed at the touch, she leaned over as she dominantly kissed you, bitting your lower lip, her hand traveling down to your pajamas shorts. As things started to get more heated you pushed her away, as you try to make a run for it.

Bad decision

She was right after you, in a split second she cashes you like a lion stalking his pray, ready to make the last kill. She pushes you right into the corner of the living room.

Could get into a fight

I’ll say your right

And I’ll kiss you good night.

“And I thought we were getting along?, you don’t wanna get me mad princess..”

Your breathing accelerates, adrenaline pumping into your veins. As she Hoover over you, you manage to set a punch as she straddles back.

“get away from me !”

I waited on the corner till I saw the sitter leave.

Was easy getting over.

And I landed on my feet.

You scream hoping someone would come for your rescue, Valeria backing up from you finally when you see her walking to the kitchen, confused you stare at her not knowing what to do.

I came in through the kitchen.

Looking for something to eat.

As she comes back to you she grins, you hear some commotion outside, honking in general.

“My rides here… but you can call me if you change you mind sweetheart.”

She finally said as she caressed my lips, final look as she went through the front door and disappeared in the darkness.

I left a calling card so they.

Would know that it was me.

[sunshine-theseus]

That One Cat Meme | Ona Batlle x Reader

Words: 1.6k Summary: Ona gets angry when you randomly disappear but it’s hard not to find her adorable Warnings: idk overstimulation? Hints of being neurodivergent – based on my experiences as someone who gets very overstimulated and loves routine/thinks they’re ND but isn’t diagnosed with anything. Requested by - @dandelionlibrary - i really hope you like it!

It was a mistake. A very, very big mistake. There was so much noise and light, and people were basically stuck together like glue. It was hot too. How is anyone supposed to survive in this place?

The team had begged me to join them, just once, for a celebratory drink at a club in the heart of Barcelona. After months of refusing, always coming up with excuses and waiting for Ona to arrive home in the sunless hours of the morning, I finally caved. I regretted it the moment the uber turned onto the street. Lights were flashing through the windows and the music could be heard down the block. People were lined up as far as the eye could see. There was no way I was going to have fun.

But I went.

In the beginning it wasn’t so bad. Ona was with me at all times, and we spent a lot of time in our reserved, spacious corner of the club. Until Lucy and Keira grabbed us both by our hands and dragged us onto the dance floor. I tried to wriggle free, but their determination was enough to overpower a tipsy Ona and a vulnerable me.

“Isn’t this fun!?” Ona yells into my ear. I try not to flinch at the additional noise as I nod my head.

A lie.

“Muy divertido!” (very fun)

There was a small moment where I managed to slip away into the bathroom. By some miracle it was empty and seemed rather clean for a night club, so I locked myself in a stall and just sat on top of a toilet lid. I tried to monitor my breathing and block out the bass that travelled through the floor. I couldn’t survive much longer. I needed to come up with an excuse to leave.

I slowly emerge from the bathroom and go find the group of girls huddled in the corner. I had an excuse fully prepared but as I’m making my way, someone grabs me by the waist and starts kissing my neck. I’m about to turn around and wack them with my purse when they begin to talk.

“Mi vida! Where did you go?” the familiar deep voice of my girlfriend echoes from behind me and I relax.

I stop my shaking hands by placing them over her own that rest on my hips.

“Just the bathroom. I think I’m going to head home.” I turn and give her a smile that clearly doesn’t reach my eyes.

She says something else to me, but I can’t focus on anything specific, everything was too overwhelming. Eventually Ona walks off and I’m left in the middle of a crowd again. I can feel every place on my skin where someone makes contact with me, my clothes aren’t sitting well anymore, there are too many sounds, the lights hurt my eyes. I had to get out.

-

That’s how I found myself curled up in a ball on the rather small balcony of Ona and my apartment. My noise cancelling headphones were securely on my head and I’d successfully rid myself of the horrendously tight and itchy club clothes, switching into one of Ona’s oversized jumpers and some shorts. My phone was turned off and I was just embracing the small bouts of wind and the barely visible stars in the dark night sky.

I don’t expect my girlfriend to be home until much later, so I eventually tuck myself in under the blankets. I loved our bed; it was a lot less overstimulating than a club and usually had the girl of my dreams to hold me tight. Despite the missing final aspect, I drift off to sleep.

I wake up late, Ona by my side as expected. The day off means that my schedule is simply pushed back a few hours and I have spare time to fill.

9:30am – wake up

9:36am – have breakfast + talk to Ona

10:05am – shower and get ready for the day

The middle of the day’s schedule on days off changes depending on who I’m meeting or what I plan on doing. Most of the time it involves Ona.

But Ona didn’t emerge from the room at 9:40am like she usually does, instead showing her face at almost 10. I decide I can push back my day just once to still fit our morning talk. She doesn’t greet me first. Perhaps it’s the hangover, they often mess with our order. She also doesn’t kiss me on the cheek or offer me the glass of orange juice she does every morning, despite always already having a glass in front of me.

“What’s wrong bebé?” the older girl says nothing as she sits down at the table with a bowl to fruit and a glass of water. Odd. Not her normal hangover cure.

“I don’t have anything planned for today so we can just turn the lights off and watch a movie? If your head’s hurting.” I can see her lips twitch at the suggestion, but her face remains stoic.

“Okay, I’m going to have a shower. Maybe we can talk about what’s bothering you afterward?” once again, no reply.

-

I do just as I tell Ona. The shower is set to the correct temperature and my clothes don’t make me feel like I’m suffocating once I get out. I grab some pillows and blankets to lay out on the couch and turn off the lights, settling for the small lamps on either side of the living room. The curtains help block out the sunlight that would be streaming through the windows.

Ona is still sat at the table, fruit and water finished, scrolling on her phone.

“Coriño? Con qué película quieres empezar?” (Honey? What movie do you want to start with).

Usually, I would avoid encroaching on someone’s personal space when they are upset without them asking, but Ona made it very clear physical touch was something she embraced at all times. That’s what lead me to wrap my arms around her shoulders and press kisses to her cheek gently. Hoping for some reaction.

The only thing I get in return is her arms stubbornly crossing over her chest and her lips forming a pout.

Adorable.

“Are you mad at me coriño?” another kiss is placed at the curve of her jaw.

Her lips pull taut and her cheeks flush pink. It’s hard to be intimidated by someone so cute.

“Sí.” She stands abruptly and the sound of the chair scraping against our wood floor makes me feel sick.

“You disappeared last night without telling anyone. And then you didn’t answer any of my texts! Or the girl’s! Yes, I am angry because I was worried mi vida!” Ona’s arms once again cross over her chest and her foot stamps against the ground.

Despite the sight, I begin to feel bad.

“Ona… I didn’t mean to make you worry. I got overstimulated. Everything was just too much. But I told you I was going to go when we talked outside the bathroom.” A look of confusion is clear on her face, and I sigh, approaching her again.

“You asked me where I had been, I told you I went to the bathroom and that I think I needed to go home. I don’t blame you for forgetting, you’d had a few drinks, no thanks to Mapi.”

“Yo soy estúpida. I am sorry for being angry and ignoring you. And I’m sorry I forced you to go somewhere I knew would probably make you overstimulated.” (I am stupid). Ona’s head dramatically falls forward onto my chest as she groans.

“It’s okay. You’re very adorable when you’re angry.” I press a kiss to the crown of her head.

“No I am not!”

“Sí! Yes you are! You pout and cross your arms and you even stamp your foot. Tu tambien eres muy pequeña.” (you’re also very small). I pull away from Ona and smile at the blush that still radiates from her cheeks.

“You remind me of that little kitten meme.”

“What?” I pull out my phone and search for the photo I have in mind.

“What the fuck does that mean?”

“Just that you look very cute.” Another groan falls from her lips, and I laugh as I drag her to the couch.

She falls on top of me and I wrap my arms tightly around her, pressing kisses all around her face.

“You have to watch that silly adventure man movie with me.”

“Indiana Jones? You know I hate that guy. He’s so stupid.”

“But I like him, and you caused me great distress!” her laugh slips past her lips and I can’t help but smile and oblige with her request.

“You can only milk that so many times.”

“Mmmhmm.” Her head props up by her chin resting on my chest, and I lean down, pressing a kiss to her lips.

“Te amo coriño.” I smile brightly down at her as the opening music plays.

“Te amo mi vida.”

Ona turns her head to watch the silly movie, but I can’t look away from her. Her freckles seem to shine brighter despite the lack of light and the slope of her nose is so delicate. The way her eyelashes kiss her cheeks and lines appear by her lips when she laughs at some stupid joke. Her hair is in a messy bun, yet she still looks put together.

I can’t help but fall in love with her all over again.

@Y/N_L/N

@Y/N_L/N do you guys see the resemblance?

ona.batlle there is literally no resembilence stop marialeonn16 i see it

[witchygagirlwrites]

Every Time

Jay Halstead x Reader

@desimarie12 had an idea for Luke Combs song Love You Anyway

Yall this is pain. I apologize

Jay Halstead wasn’t a man that believed in true love. Too many relationships gone bad, too many horrors he’d seen. That was until the day he met you.

“We got a new addition” Voight announced at the beginning of the day. No one knew a new detective was coming in. They weren’t exactly one down but they did have an extra desk on the floor. The sound of boots coming up the stairs made them all turn their heads and Jay felt his heart do a flip the moment he laid eyes on you. The way you held yourself as you were introduced to everyone. You knew you were coming into a unit that had years together, trust built and was the new kid but you weren’t nervous. Your head was held high and your smile was in earnest as you shook everyone’s hand. When you greeted him you smiled “Halstead? I think your brother has patched me up a time or two” 

 He hadn’t meant to fall,never saw it coming and couldn’t pinpoint the day he fell. One day he just woke up and knew that he was in love with you, actual real true love. The kind he rolled his eyes at, the kind he thought people led themselves to believe in as a comfort against the loneliness in the world.

The light filtering in from the tiny crack in the curtain woke Jay up, any other time he probably would’ve been pissed seeing that he had a couple hours before his alarm would go off but when he looked down to see you any other thought escaped him. You were turned on your side, facing him. Your hair was draped across the pillow and even in your sleep your hand reached out for him. 

He’d never felt for anyone what he felt for you. “I love you” he whispered and was surprised when your eyes slowly opened “Did you just say what I think you said?” where any other time he probably would’ve backtracked, tried to cover it up but he didn’t. He simply smiled and smoothed a hand across your face “I love you. I never knew this type of love existed and yet here you are” the look on your face was answer enough even before a smile drifted across your features “About time you caught up Halstead. I’ve been in love with you for months”

Like with anything worth having, the good came with the bad. You argued, of course but at the end of the day you always made a point to never go to bed angry. You always told him “I’m not risking going to bed angry then something happening to you” 

He wasn’t sure what he’d done right to have someone like you placed in his life, after so much pain and heartbreak. Someone who saw past the anger, the walls he built and never let him retreat into his own mind. Someone who always let him in, who would practically run into his arms after a bad day, seeking solace.  You were everything he never knew he needed and made him want to be a better man every day. 

An undercover mission was what tore the two of you apart. A stupid undercover mission. You walked away from him, saying that you couldn’t face that he was so different coming back than he’d been leaving. The worst part? You still worked together.

He still sat across from you every day, still saw your smile, heard your light laughter from a joke Kim would crack. He knew you still loved him, you knew he still loved you. This was a side of love he never knew existed either. The fact that two people could be willing to rip their heart out for the other and not be able to figure out a way to find their way back to each other.

He glanced up from his computer and barely caught you glancing away from him. That hurt worse than anything. He just wanted you to talk to him because you hadn’t just been his lover, you were his best friend, his confidant, his everything. There was nothing he wouldn’t do for you. 

A fraction of a second, that was all it took for something to go wrong in the field. Jay knew this all too well. Not only from his time as a cop but from his time in the army as well. He never would’ve imagined he’d be on his knees, holding pressure to your side and praying the ambulance got there in enough time.

“Jay” you whispered and he shook his head “It’s ok baby. You’re gonna be ok” you smiled, tears slipping out your eyes ‘If you knew now what you knew then..” you trailed off to take a shaking breath, more blood slipping out from between his fingers forcing him to snatch his shirt over his head to use in an attempt to staunch the flow “What baby? If I knew what?” he had to keep you awake. The ambulance was less than two minutes out. 

“Would you still have fallen for me?” you asked with a weak smile and he felt tears slipping from his own eyes “Every damn time” you sucked in a harsh breath and he turned his head so you wouldn’t see him crying. You needed to see him calm “Jay?” you called lightly and he looked back at you “I love you, don’t forget that” your blinks were getting slower every time and your breathing was getting more labored with every breath “Then stay awake for me baby. I love you too. Stay awake please”  “I love you” you whispered weakly before your eyes fluttered shut.

[spadesolace]

analyze my heart

thomasian! chaewon x lasallian! reader

one thing chaewon developed while taking her undergrad course, she unintentionally psychoanalyzes the people around her, especially her girlfriend

word count: 1.4k

spade speaks: advance valentine’s day 🩵

chaewon isn’t one to make her feelings known that easily. partially that was the reason why she took psychology as her major, to better understand her mind and what she feels- only to end up psychoanalyzing everyone around her.

it started with her parents - her dad specifically. the small mood swings that always resulted in a screaming match only for chaewon to run back to her room and cry about it. every conversation would start with them having a lovely chat and one small mistake from her would lead to her father asking her credibility.

“oh- why aren’t you confident when we talk about these things?”

“dad, i just-“

something simply caused their relationship to be rocky. no longer was her father the same caring man that she looked up to when growing up...

but their fights slowly decreased, once she found a way to slowly manipulate her father that would benefit the two of them. one that would result in a peaceful evening with little to none fighting and for her mother to finally relax.

her mother was next - her own insecurities being the target in every conversation. one of which is how religious her mother is. the idea of her daughter liking women brought such a drift in their relationship that it was chaewon’s goal to find out how it all started. all it took was a few glasses of wine and the right questions just for her mother to spill everything to her. to which everything made sense - her own grandparents were the stereotypical traditional family.

chaewon understood that psychoanalyzing her parents let alone sometimes her friends are crossing the line but then - you.

for her, you were the biggest mystery she has encountered. for someone that goes at the university that is known as the reddest of flags, you were the same as your university. a walking green flag.

your first date within españa made her realize how guarded you were. little to no details but the basics being shared yet you had chaewon swooning over you within the course of three hours. a complete mystery that she wishes to unveil.

it continued on - as you slowly opened up to chaewon a part of her wishes to learn more how deep your thoughts go. there were little icks she had gotten but that was merely due to the status quo. all she did was analyze you, yet you ended up analyzing her feelings.

“y/n… gusto kita (i like you).”

“i like you too, chaewon.”

even when things were made official between you two, chaewon still tried her best to unravel the mystery that is you. to find an answer as to what makes you - you.

on the other hand, you were making sure that kim chaewon wouldn’t break your heart. the stereotype that thomasians are ghosters left a bitter taste in your mouth, and hearing your friends warn you while dating chaewon. your guard was up and even if you’ve shared sentiments and traumas to her, it wasn’t one that would make her break you that easily.

you’ve heard stories of psychology majors being the reddest of flags but you never believed in them until you experienced it yourself.

sure, her university isn’t the best considering the amount of dramas and conspiracies you’ve heard from your friends but you never once thought of it as something that could affect your relationship with chaewon.

you’re well aware that chaewon tends to bottle her feelings up, not until she explodes like a soda bottle shaken and explodes as you open it. here she was, in your apartment ignoring you as she sighs every other minute. chaewon and amongst all other students from her university despise the admins at how inhumane their workloads are or how students are treated like robots but here you are.

“chae, take a break for a bit? you haven’t eaten anything yet.”

chaewon choose to ignore you as she read through her assignment again and again, switching from one file to another but you only grow more concerned as she continues to ignore your presence.

“chae… come on, just eat something.”

ignored yet again, you would have let it slide if it weren’t so later in the evening that you caught her up at 2AM still doing her assignments and readings. you’re used to her ignoring you when she has a bunch of schoolworks to finish but you’re still concerned for your girlfriend.

“chae…”

“Y/N. STOP! can’t you see me studying here? ihave to finish this by tonight and I can’t focus if you keep on-“

a part of you blocks out the rest of what chaewon had to say. the last thing you wanted to hear from her is screaming at you and blaming you. you watch her spit venom at you, taking it all in and realizing this was the girl you’ve been dating for two years. she broke again and you could only see how fierce and annoyed she is at you.

you made sure she won’t break your heart - yet here you are standing still as she packs her stuff. feeling your heart break as you do nothing and let her walk out of your place like many nights before.

this wasn’t the first time it’s happened.

this wasn’t the first time kim chaewon walked out on you.

this wasn’t the first time you heard a knock at your door at 3AM with a drunk chaewon waiting for you to open the door.

this wasn’t the first time you kissed her back while she’s intoxicated in your arms.

it’s a cycle. she breaks then leaves for a couple of days, you ignore her and she comes crawling back to you asking for forgiveness.

you’ve long analyzed her heart and her desire to keep you around despite how toxic it has become - despite knowing she wishes to learn more about you to use it against you.

everytime it happens, chaewon can’t hate you. she’s aware that half of the time it’s her that’s the problem. you’ve been so understanding and just wanting to take care of her yet here she is fucking it up once again by screaming at you as you let her do it.

you aren’t a people pleaser.

“do you not care about people’s opinions?” chaewon could only watch you shake your head as you finish writing your paper and ignoring every message and plead your classmates send your way for help.

“let them talk, it’s not my job to remind them of their responsibilities.” there was no sign of caring for what your friend’s have to say as you leave them in the dark as you close your laptop and silence your phone. ending the day with chaewon in your arms as you lay in her bed.

your family is so supportive.

she hasn’t seen any parent that is so supportive of their child who went for their passion, even if it were a small thing on a paper once you graduate. still, it baffles her knowing that you wanted to venture out and although there were some restrictions that made your parents say no to your crazy desires. they were still supportive as you tell them your project for your minor program with a huge smile on your face as they listened intently and asked questions. she feels out of place whenever your parents would ask her questions about her life, is this what having a normal conversation with relatives feels like?

and you never mentioned anything that left you questioning everything in life as you hit a dark point in your life.

you’re a mystery to kim chaewon because how could you be so perfectly fine with her screaming at you at the top of her lungs and leaving you for days until she’s back at your place wearing your clothes.

you have her wrapped around your finger as she circles around looking for a way to be above you. one thing chaewon never accounted for is that you’re too self aware.

chaewon can’t find your issues, what makes you imperfect but you know well enough what those are to hide it from anyone but yourself. not a day goes by where you mentally beat yourself for things you have no desire of telling anyone and sure, chaewon loves to psychoanalyze you as you keep this facade.

at the end of the day, you have her heart, knowing what she wants in a relationship and simply taking it as it is. even if there is something chaewon could use against you - you’ve analyzed her before she could even realize it.

[ev3rgreenxtrees]

Violent Love

-M.S

Synopsis: Matt and you have been friends since kindergarten, but when his youtube career flew off, so did he. He moved to LA with his brothers, and when he came back to Boston for a visit, it doesn’t end in the most pleasant way.

Warnings: Foul language, Stalking, Murder, Phsyco!Matt

This story is NOT for the faint of heart. Its also really fucking long. like REALLY long.

“Teddy bear, you were my teddy bear

You were comforting and quiet

How did love become so violent?

Oh, teddy bear, you were my teddy bear

Everything was so sweet until you tried to kill me”

As you laid down alone in bed, you heard a faint knock on your door. You automatically assumed it was Matt, your childhood best friend.

Best friend. He was like a very overprotective big brother to you. When you had issues with people, Matt had no issue starting a physical fight. Unlike how most people would just say, ‘talk it out’ or even have a talk with them, Matt would immediately start a fight. He’d beat the shit out of them, until they were sobbing and rapidly apologizing.

You hated that Matt did this, but it also gave you a sense of security. Protection.

He always held you close to him as you two cuddled in his bed, watching whatever movie you wanted, while scarfing down popcorn. Matt was everything you needed.

He was there for you, and he always had been. Until he wasn’t.

He had a youtube career, with his brothers, Chris and Nick. You loved them, too, but not nearly as much as Matt. You were more than overjoyed when the boys’ youtube career took off, but the three decided it would be best to move to L.A. Simply because there were ‘more influencers’ there, making ‘easier content’.

Matt tried to get you to come with, even offering you a room in their house, but you declined. You were of course sad to see him leave, but you always felt you were holding him back. You would miss him, but you felt it was best. Besides, he said he’d take trips back to Boston often to visit you.

The longer you two stayed apart, the more you slightly drifted apart. You still talked, but you didn’t feel as close as you used to. So, when Matt told you he’d be coming back to Boston, you immediately invited him over.

And now he was here.

You threw yourself out of bed, quickly making your way to the door of your empty home, opening it quickly to see Matt standing there alone, a bouquet of roses in hand.

“Matt! I missed you so much! I haven’t seen you in forever!” You gasped, throwing yourself into his arms as you wrapped your legs around his waist, forcing him to catch you and hold you.

“I missed you too, Y/N,” He shook his head and chuckled, before slowly setting you down. “Here.. I got you these,” He says slowly, handing you the roses that were held tightly in his hand.

“Awe, Matt, you didn’t have to,” You gushed.

“I know, I just missed you so much.” He shook his head, and you backed up, allowing him a clear entrance to your house. You nodded, and he let himself inside.

“Nice house,” He smiled, as you followed him inside.

“Yeah.. It’s okay. Kinda out in the middle of nowhere though.” You shrugged, and he nodded. “Come to my room! We can watch a movie and talk. Like old times!” You suggested, and he nodded.

He followed you closely as you zoomed down the halls, eventually making it to your room.

“Sorry its messy,” You apologized, and Matt scoffed.

“Y/N, we literally made messes in each others rooms when we were younger what are you on?” He gently shoved you out of the way, throwing himself on your bed.

“C’mere,” He waved you over, holding his arms open for you, and you quickly threw yourself into him.

Just like old times.

You wrapped tightly around him, as his arms snaked around your waist.

“If you squeeze any tighter my eyes might pop out of my head,” Matt laughed, and you loosened your grip.

“Sorry, I just missed you soooo much!” You giggled, and Matt placed a kiss on your forehead, causing you to shoot up.

“I totally forgot to tell you, but I got a boyfriend!” You smiled brightly.

You got a boyfriend about two months after Matt left. Your boyfriend cared for you, of course, but not as much as Matt did.

Matt’s eyebrows furrowed, and he slowly sat up, and you tilted your head.

“I.. Um… I gotta go- I told my mom i’d be home for dinner,” He abruptly stood up, and you felt slightly hurt. Why was he being so… rude?

Yeah, sure, Matt was usually like this, but not to you or your family. Ever. He loves all of his family very dearly, and wouldn’t do anything they don’t want. Or deserve. Or need.

“Oh.. Okay. Text me later tonight, so we can make plans. Okay?” You asked, and Matt just nodded, before slipping into the hallway.

Later comes, and yet no text from Matt. You decided it was best to call him, and he quickly answered, but before you could speak, he did.

“What’s your boyfriends name?” He asked through the phone speaker.

“Um.. Kyle..? Kyle Spencer, why?” You reply, and you hear him sigh.

“I know him, Y/N. He was on my highschool hockey team. He’s bad news,” Matt was disappointed. You could tell.

“Matt.. You don’t know him like I do.. Trust me on this one. Please?” You pleaded, but Matt just hung up.

He never hangs up on you? Nevertheless when you were in the midst of a conversation. You stared at the phone with his contact showing, confused as you read the big bold letters saying ‘Call Ended.’

You debated on calling him again, and decided too. He was acting weird. You laid silently, awaiting to hear his sweet voice, but to no avail, you hear a loud beep, and his voicemail.

You let out a frustrated groan, before sitting up and calling one of his brothers. Due to alphabetical order, Chris’ contact was the first one you saw. The phone rang, but unlike his brother, Chris answered.

“Hey, Y/N! What’s up?” Chris chimes through the phone, his voice loud and cheerful.

“Hey, Chris! Is Matt around you?” You asked curiously, but the boy hummed.

“Umm, no.. He just left, actually. Sorry. Did you have plans with him?” Chris replied, and you let out an annoyed sigh. Who was Matt so adamant about meeting up with?

“No, not really. I’m just bored, I was gonna ask him to come over but he wont answer his damn phone.” You growl, causing Chris to chuckle.

“Me and Nick can come over if ya want, we don’t have any plans,” Chris offered, and you smiled at the thought of seeing them again.

“Yeah! I’d love that. I’ll send you my address.” You beamed with joy, and Chris hummed again.

“Cya soon!” He spoke before hanging up.

At least you wouldn’t have to be alone tonight.

Around twenty minutes later, you hear a knock on your door, and since it must be Nick and Chris, you practically throw yourself out of bed.

You rush down the hall, and throw the front door of the house open, and saw two of the same faced people standing aimlessly at your door.

“Y/N!” They both exclaimed, as you quickly pulled both of them into a hug. The three of you greeted each other, before you pulled them into your house, leading them to your living room.

They both plopped down on your couch, and you tossed the remote in-between them.

“Put on something to watch, I’m gonna go make some popcorn,” You told them and they both nodded. You heard them quietly speaking to each other as you rummaged through your cabinets, searching for some popcorn.

You finally found a bag, and tossed it in the microwave. As you waited for the popcorn to be done, you pulled your phone out of your pocket, and saw many messages and missed calls from Matt.

Odd. He just hung up on you a while ago, and left your house on a excuse, but now he wants to talk? You decided to open the messages anyways, if he wanted to be a dick you could just simply leave him on read, and thats exactly what you were going to do.

The messages read, ‘sorry i was really busy with something my dad needed help after dinner, can i come over?’ five minutes after that one, he sent another one. ‘hey? y/n im sorry i didnt mean to leave like that.’ Another five minutes passed. ‘Y/n. i know youre getting my messages please at least reply with a no or smt.’ You sighed, and slid your phone back into your pocket, not bothering to reply.

You carefully grabbed the hot bag of popcorn out of the microwave, and headed back to Nick and Chris. The two had turned on Edward Scissorhands, your favorite movie to watch together. You gasped, as you rushed over to the boys sitting comfortably on your couch.

You threw yourself against Chris, as you had done to Matt earlier, and Chris had quickly pulled you into him and adjusted himself, just as Matt had done hours before.

You couldn’t deny, you terribly missed Matt and did want him to come back, but you didn’t want any trouble. He was already acting off today, maybe he just needed rest. If you ignored him, maybe he’d give up and sleep.

You cuddled into Chris, as all three of you shoved popcorn down your throats and payed close attention to the movie. You missed doing this when you were younger.

You missed Matt.

You pulled your phone out of your pocket again, and saw more messages from Matt.

‘Y/n. Is he over? is that why youre ignoring me? i told you hes an asshole. he doesnt deserve you. hes just a whore that wants in your pants. youre better than that.’ You scoffed as you read the message. Who does Matt think he is? Sure, he may be your best friend, but he’s in no place to call your boyfriend a whore? ‘im sorry i took it too far. can i come over please. ill make it up to you, ill cuddle with you and rub your back, we can go sit on the roof and watch the stars like we used to. please.’

That one hit hard. You missed stargazing with Matt so bad. Neither of you knew anything about stars, but thats what made it ten times better. Using your imagination as you laid your head on his warm chest. One of his arms draped around your waist, his other arm holding your hand. You missed it so much.

‘Im busy’ you typed out, and quickly sent, pushing your phone back into your pocket, not wanting to be tempted by his reply.

You felt bad for being so petty to your best friend, but you didn’t want to ‘interrupt’ him. You felt your phone buzz a few times in your pocket, and you felt Chris’ eyes on you.

“Y/N, just answer your phone.” He chuckled, and you sighed. If only it was that easy.

“Has Matt been acting odd, recently?” You questioned, as you slipped your phone out of your pocket.

“Hm.. No. Why?” Chris replied, and you sighed.

“After I told him I.. have a boyfriend, today, he just got up and left. I called him later, he asked for his name and then he just hung up. He didn’t answer any of my other calls, but now he’s spamming me and apologizing.” You grumbled, as you read the messages.

‘Y/N, ill come over regardless i have ur address’ Now this was just getting weird. He was always sweet and caring, not forceful. ‘Y/N, cmon. im sorry. please let me come over. ill make it up to you.’ You contemplated on how to reply, before you just held your phone up to Chris.

“See? How am I supposed to reply to this?” You ask annoyed, and Chris just snatched the phone from your hands.

You didn’t reach to take it back, you trusted him. He lifted the phone at an odd angle, before snapping a picture.

His fingers tapped gently on the screen, before he handed the phone back to you, giving his full attention to the movie.

As you examine the screen, you saw the picture he took, with you wrapped around Chris, had a caption, ‘She said shes busy.’ Chris could be petty too, sometimes. Not that you minded, of course.

Matt quickly began typing, before his message popped up on the screen, below ‘yours’. ‘What the fuck, chris?? fuck this, fuck you guys.’ You read. You didn’t mind. You felt bad, but he just needed time to debrief, you thought. This will all blow over tomorrow, and you guys can hangout and stargaze, like Matt had offered earlier.

You slid your phone back in your pocket, pulling your attention to the movie, that was now almost over. Nick and Chris now started brainstorming the second movie to watch tonight, and you giggled at the two’s bickering.

You felt your phone vibrate in your pocket, before you pulled it out. You saw your boyfriends contact flash across the screen, and your eyebrows furrowed. You didn’t mind that he was calling you, but he said he wouldn’t bother you much, knowing you’ll have people over. He usually sticks to this.

You slowly stood up, and held up your index finger at the two boys as you accepted the call, indicating you’d be back in a moment. You walked off down the hall, as you pulled your phone up to your ear.

“Hey, baby!” You spoke loudly; making sure he could hear.

No reply. Nothing at all. No background noise, no voices, no reply. Maybe something had gone wrong with one of their phones?

“Baby?” You called again, and this time you heard something. Something unusual. As you turned your volume up, and held the phone speaker closer to your ear, you heard a ragged breathing.

Nothing you’d say was.. bad, more like someone just took a mile run and was trying to catch their breath. But no words.

“Um.. Hello?” You paused, but the breathing didn’t stop. “Kyle? Are you there?” No reply. You now began to worry. Kyle hadn’t done anything like this before. He was a very respectful guy. He knew something like this would scare you and push your boundaries.

You crept back into the living room, with Nick and Chris. You put the phone on speaker, and grabbed your remote, muting the T.V. Both boys understood, as they intently listened to the phone. The breathing only continued for about fifteen more seconds, before you heard the loud sound of the dial tone, making you slightly jump.

“Did you guys hear that?” You ask, and they both nod.

“Yeah, the weird ass fuckin’ breathing? Yeah I heard it. Whoever the fuck breathing that loud might need an inhaler,” Nick joked, but your facial expression stayed the same. Worried. Scared, even.

“Nick, this isn’t funny..” You sigh worriedly, before tossing your phone onto the couch.

“Sorry, sorry.. What even was that about?” Nick asked, and you shook your head.

“I.. I don’t even know. It was Kyle, my boyfriend. He told me he wouldn’t call, since he knew I had friends over, unless it was urgent. He called, I answered, but he didn’t say anything.. All I could hear was that breathing..” You groan as you sit back down on the couch, next to Chris. “He’s probably fine.. I’m just overreacting. Did you guys pick a movie?” You asked, trying to advert your mind from the topic.

“Yeah, if Spongebob is okay,” Chris giggled, and you nodded. As Nick looked for the movie, you so badly wanted to pull out your phone, make sure your boyfriend was okay, and tell Matt to come over, but you knew you should refrain.

You didn’t want to be too pushy. You had already been told by people that you worry too much, and you figured they were right. Plus, it’s not like Matt would do anything.

The further you got into the movie, you felt more and more unease, which is the complete opposite of what you wanted to happen. The compete opposite of what was supposed to happen.

You began to feel paranoid, feeling like someone was watching you. You kept pushing it off as Chris or Nick, but maybe you shouldn’t have. Maybe you should’ve paid more attention to who was watching you.

You finally finished the movie, your mind still racing with nerve-racking thoughts. What if your boyfriend was hurt? What if Matt was hurt? What if Matt wasn’t going to forgive you? What if.. No. Enough with the what if’s.

“I think i’m gonna go to sleep, now. You guys should stay. I don’t want you going home this late.. You recently got your license and its pitch black outside. You’d probably hit a deer.” You joked, but both boys agreed. Nick called the couch, and Chris called the spare bedroom, knowing Nick would end up sleeping in the spare room anyways.

You headed to your room, and started feeling slightly better. Slightly less like someone was watching your every move. Maybe it was just Nick or Chris, and since they weren’t around now, the feeling wasn’t either.

You quickly changed into your pajamas, just a black cropped top, and red and black plaid pj pants. You threw your hair into a messy bun, before flopping down on your comfortable bed.

You picked up your phone, and saw there were no missed calls or texts. Maybe everything was fine. Maybe you were just overreacting. Or possibly, you weren’t.

You pulled up your texts with Matt, and typed out a smaller message to send him.

‘hey. im sorry if i was being petty earlier, you were just kinda making me upset, yk? id love to hangout sometime tmrw if your not busy? i do miss you matt.’ You meant it all, so you sent it. You’d hope he’d forgive you and move on, even if there wasn’t much to forgive.

You laid in your bed, complete silence filling the air around you, allowing you to fall deep into thought. Perhaps too deep.

You awoke to a loud ringing from your phone, which was laying next to your head. You yawned, before reaching over to grab it and read it, only to find out it was Kyle, who was once again calling you.

It was three in the morning. Kyle had a very strict sleep schedule, he was asleep by now. You quickly answered, no doubt in your mind now that something was wrong.

The same thing that happened the first time happened. Just the same heavy breathing, but no speaking. No speaking at all.

You hung up this time, and you remembered you have Kyle’s location on your phone. You didn’t have it because you ‘didn’t trust him’, it was just a fun Life 360 group of him, you, and some of your other friends.

When the screen finally loaded, you squinted at the sight. Why was he here? At your house? At three in the fucking morning.

Your heart began to beat faster, and you wanted to cry. What was going on? Matt acting weird, Kyle.. heavy breathing, harsh paranoia, and now your boyfriend in your house, and three fucking A.M, with no explanation?

You wanted to go look for him, or at least warn Chris and Nick. Well, not warn. Warn was a stretch, there was nothing to be afraid of. So, why were you so scared? As much as you wanted to get up, your body wouldn’t let yourself.

You felt trapped to your bed, as if it was a pit of quicksand. You realized that you have your phone on you. You could call 911, but whats the use? They’re going to show up, check the house, find nothing, and everyone thinks you’re crazy.

You could at least text Chris and Nick, though, and just prey they have their phones on silent. Why were you so scared of your own boyfriend? He’s never done anything to frighten you or harm you, so you weren’t sure why you were this on edge.

You reached for your phone, before you heard a small shuffle by your door, and your heart dropped. Someone was inside. Someone was inside your home.

You froze, you couldn’t move. You began to shake slightly, your throat going dry immediately. Another decision hit you.

Do you stay quiet, or do you call out? Regardless; whoever it was had Kyle’s phone, and they were in your house. This was targeted, and they knew you were there. This was all planned out.

“Kyle?” You called out, your voice just slightly above a mere whisper. Your doorknob turned; and your heartbeat went from extremely slow, to one-hundred miles per hour. You felt your throat tighten, and your eyes begin to fill with water. Fuck, you can’t break down now. Not now, out of all times.

“My love, there’s no need to be scared. I’m here. I’ll protect you.” Matt.

You could tell from his fucking voice. It was Matthew.

“Matt, oh my fucking god. That wasn’t funny. I almost fucking cried..” You began to trail off at the end of your sentence, as Matt came into view. His blood stained shirt and bloody hands, the rips in his shirt and pants.

Your thoughts immediately went to Kyle. Where the fuck was Kyle, and what the fuck happened with Matt.

“M-Matt, this isn’t funny. This isn’t fucking funny.. Jokes over. Matt, stop. You’re scaring me,” You stutter, as the boy began to inch closer to you, now leaning over you.

“Mh.. Well, I love you. You know that. But you loved him.. There was no other way I could win you, was there? No.. I don’t think so, either. I did the only option. Get rid of all of my opponents. And now look at me. Look at us. Alone, together. No more Kyle, just us. Yeah?” He asked sultry; pulling a bloody knife out of his waistband, dragging it softly against your neck.

Your breath was lodged in your throat, and you couldn’t breathe. What do you do in a moment like this? You can’t run, hide, call the cops, you can’t do anything. You’re helpless, and Matt knows this.

“M-Matt- please, please don’t- don’t hurt me,” You plea, tears begin streaming down your face, as you fight back your sobs.

“Well, You’d like that, wouldn’t you? I would’ve liked the same fucking respect I gave you, goddamnit. I gave you all my fucking love. All my time, care, everything. I gave you fucking everything. And all I get in return? Nothing. Fucking nothing. You had so much to offer.. Such a shame it has to go to waste like this, isn’t it?” He pressed harder, the knife threatening to cut through skin.

Just the smallest movement, and you’d be gone.

“Tell me how the stars are up there.” Matt speaks, a single tear rolls down his cheek, as he quickly rips his arm sideways, slicing the knife.

And just like that, love can turn to violence.

“I threw you out, I didn't outgrow you

I just didn't know you

But now you're back

And it's so terrifying how you paralyze me

Now you're showing up inside my home

Breathing deep into the phone

I'm so unprepared, I'm fucking scared.”

@bernardenjoyer @lovely-calypso

[kingofpopmj]

hii. can you please do an imagine, where michael in his mature era (aka: mac daddy mike), has a naive soon to be wife, and she doesn't know ANYTHING about sexy times, so Michael decides to teach her. Please and ty

Oooo hunni! You guys keep summoning Naughty Nevaeh lol

Here you go! I hope you enjoy.. 🙈

Let Me Fill You With My Dreams

Michael and I had finally arrived home after a long day full of appearances. It was unlike anything I’d ever experienced before. The hysteria that follows Michael wherever he goes is unfathomable, yet he handles it with such grace. Usually, we keep a safe distance at public events, I appear more so as apart of his entourage than his partner, but it’s how we planned it. However, that was all in the past, now that I’m his fiancée we decided I’d be by his side. We were more than ready. As always he was extremely protective of me and made sure I felt safe. We announced our engagement only a few days prior. Michael and I were elated, the media on the other hand was relentless, I was labeled a gold digger, Michael was attacked and mocked— nothing too out of the norm, which pissed me off to no end, but he insisted I bite my tongue. He ensured me that he could handle it. It was tough to say the least. The noise surrounding us was so hateful— so loud and they were all rooting against us. It was infuriating. Unfortunately, as much as I tried to ignore the noise, it successfully added fuel to the flames of my own insecurities and I had no idea how to come clean to Michael, but it had to happen and soon.

“Baby?” I heard Michael’s voice, along with his footsteps nearing his— our bedroom— where I was currently hiding. “There you are! What’s wrong?”

“Hi. Nothing. Nothing” I answered quickly.

“You haven’t been yourself all day. I know these events can be draining. The crowds of people, the bright lights and the screaming. It’s a lot to get used to. If you don’t like them I promise I won’t force you to attend. I’ll understand. It won’t upset me.” The concerned look on his face made the knot in my stomach tighten. “Are you having doubts? Do you not want to get married?” My heart ached at the pain evident in his voice.

“No! Michael, of course not. I love you.”

“I love you more.”

“I’m sorry. I know I wasn’t the best date tonight.” I tried to ease my way into this conversation.

“Did I do something wrong?”

“No. It’s just last night—”

“I knew it. I’m sorry if I did too much. I was trying to be spontaneous you know? I completely understand if you want to wait until our wedding night. No matter what it’ll be perfect.”

“It’s not that I want to wait.”

“Talk to me.” He whispered with pleading eyes.

“I’m— I’ve never really— I don’t—” I began stuttering, unable to complete a sentence, my hands trembling as I tried desperately not to hyperventilate.

“Woah. Okay, breathe. Baby, it’s okay. Everything is okay.” Michael wrapped his arms around me, leaving a kiss on my forehead and began to sing to me softly.

Every night she walks right in my dreams

Since I met her from the start

I'm so proud I am the only one

Who is special in her heart

The girl is mine

“Keep going.” I smiled into his chest, loving the sound of his voice.

“Baby, if you wanted me to sing for you, all you had to do was ask.”

“You’re so annoying.” I playfully rolled my eyes, moving to sit on the bed.

“I’ll keep going if—” he paused dramatically, putting his hand in the air. “You tell me what’s on your mind. You can talk to me about anything.”

“I’m nervous about going further because—” I drifted off, feeling overwhelming embarrassment. “I’m a virgin.” I said barely above a whisper.

The only clue I was given that Michael heard my confession was how his grip on my hand loosened before pulling away all together. This was just what I was afraid of, he’s going to leave me.

“I should’ve told you sooner. I’m sorry Michael. I understand if—” I couldn’t bring myself to finish the sentence, so instead I slowly twisted the engagement ring off my finger, trying to fight the tears that threatened to fall as I reached my hand out to return the ring to Michael.

“No. No. I don’t want it back. No. Baby, it belongs right here.” He spoke softly, he sat down next to me as he slid the ring back onto my finger. “Thank you for telling me. I’m sorry if I pressured you. It wasn’t my intention.”

“I don’t feel pressured. I want to. I want to be with you. I just— I’m terrified of disappointing you.”

“You could never disappoint me.” Michael moved closer to me, pulling me into his chest. “I love you so much.”

Suddenly, I didn’t feel afraid, with the weight of my confession finally off my shoulders, I was able to feel something else. Love. Desire. Yearning. Craving. It was all I could feel and I couldn’t help myself— I couldn’t wait any longer. I looked up at him, his beautiful chocolate brown eyes staring back at me. I grasped at his collar with my fingers, pulling him into me, desperately needing him as close as possible. He kissed me back, his hands finding the small of my back, holding me tenderly. I moved into his lap, straddling him as our kiss intensified. I began to unbutton his shirt, before I heard Michael’s voice.

“Slow down.” He gently took my hands into his. “Baby, we don’t have to do this right now. I’ll wait as long as you need. You’re more than worth the wait.”

“All I need is you. Right now. I’m ready.”

“Are you positive?”

“Yes, just maybe talk me through it? Teach me a thing or two? I really want you to enjoy it.”

“Baby, I’m already enjoying it.” He smiled, gesturing to the erection poking into my inner thigh. “Just call me Professor Jackson.” He said, with a flirtation wink.

“You’re making me blush!” I giggled, burying my face in his neck. “I’m trying to be serious! Sexy even..”

“You’re always sexy. You don’t have to try.” He spoke lowly, picking me up, laying me back on the bed as he placed himself between my legs. “Oh, I can do serious.”

“Michael!” I yelped, feeling his warm hand slipping underneath my dress, moving up my thigh teasingly.

“Relax. Let me teach you.”

“Please. Teach me.” I begged, the anticipation building as his hand hovered between my legs, fiddling with the lace of my panties. Michael kneeled down in front of me, causing the air to get stuck in my lungs.

“Do you trust me?” He whispered, his breath tickling my thigh. I was desperate for more.

“Yes.”

“Yes what?” He asked, looking deep into my eyes, his long fingers slipped underneath the lace, his touch sending a shiver throughout my body.

“I trust you, Professor Jackson.”

“Oh, that sounds so much better coming out of your beautiful mouth.” He smirked, kissing me and quite literally taking my breath away. He ripped off the lace that covered my modesty, this side of Michael was quickly becoming my favorite.

I felt an overwhelming urge to scream as Michael began moving his fingers in a circular motion. My breathing becoming unsteady, struggling to process the pleasure I was feeling for the very first time.

“It’s all about touch.” He whispered. “It comes naturally once you stop overthinking.” His pace increasing as he spoke. “When two people are as connected as you and I— every kiss, every touch, everything feels— amplified.”

“Michael! Michael!” My body shaking, falling back into the mattress, suddenly I didn’t feel his fingers anymore. I felt something else— something even better. I slowly glanced down, seeing the top of Michael’s head, his face buried between my legs. The sight alone was enough to drive me crazy. I could feel his tongue, the way it curved, the way it moved, the way it sent shocks of electricity through me. My back arched, unintentionally thrusting my hips forward, locking my leg around the back of his neck. I began to curse profusely, feeling his hand slowly travel up under the fabric of my dress, the skin to skin contact made me shiver as he took a firm hold of my breast.

“Oh! My!” I felt a build up in my core, gripping the comforter tightly, attempting to ground myself, but there was no use. My thighs clenched around Michael’s head as a sound fell from my lips— one I didn’t know I was capable of.

“Just breathe.” I heard his voice, as his fingers slid the straps of my dress down my arms. He leaned down kissing and sucking down my neck. I squeezed my eyes shut. “I got you.”

“Please—” I pleaded between my gasps for air. I had no idea what I wanted. I just knew I didn’t want this to end. Not yet.

“I’m going to try something first.” Michael said before I felt his lips on my nipple. “How does that feel?”

“So good.”

“Open.” Michael murmured, gently tapping my knees. I did as I was told, watching as he removed his pants, taking a place in between my legs.

“Is it going to hurt?” I said quietly.

“I’d never hurt you.” He grabbed my arms, placing them above my head and intertwined our fingers. “I’ll go slow.”

As he looked into my eyes, the sensation of him entering me ignited a flutter in my chest, tears of pleasure puddled my eyes and I squeezed his hands so tight I began losing feeling in my fingers. Once he was fully buried inside of me he made gentle movements by rotating his hips in small circles. The tingle that raced through me was indescribable. I never knew that this feeling existed, but now that I do, I was sure that the reason was because subconsciously I was waiting for Michael.

“Michael!” I cried, ripping one hand free, tightly gripping his shoulder, digging my finger nails into his skin.

“Y/N, baby, you have to loosen up.” He said sweetly, unwrapping my legs that were locked around him. “Now, I can do this.” He started carefully moving in and out of me. As great as it felt I craved more. “How does that feel?”

“God. I love that.”

“I have an idea.” Michael said, moving away from me, I frowned, ready to protest until he laid on his back pulling me on top of him.

“What are you doing?” I panicked, at the extreme withdrawal and our new position.

“Teaching.” He smirked. “You’re going to learn how to ride me.” He said so seductively it gave me goosebumps.

“What if I hurt you?”

“You won’t. Just follow my instructions. All you have to do is—” He guided my hips with his hands, explaining what I had to do, but I couldn’t hear a thing. I was to focused on wanting him inside of me again. As he spoke I slowly spread my legs, coming closer to him until I felt his tip. The rush it gave me was so intense, my knees slid further across the silk comforter and I felt our full connection again. Michael’s eyes widen at my speed, he briefly glanced down, admiring how I took him whole. “Oh god!”

“Oh crap! Did I hurt you?” I panicked.

“No. No. It feels amazing. I just— wow. You’re a fast learner.”

“Well, I have a great teacher.” I slowly began to move my hips, watching Michael bite his bottom lip, his hands squeezing my thighs firmly.

“Baby. You’re gonna make me—”

“Make you what?” I questioned, slowing my pace, waiting for his answer. “Am I doing this wrong?” I felt my cheeks heat up from embarrassment as I stopped my movements all together.

“Don’t stop!” He moaned loudly. Holy shit. That was so hot. I began moving my hips like my life depended on it. Michael had beads of sweat on his forehead and his chest was glistening. “Baby, I’m gonna— I’m almost—”

“Michael!” I begged, Michael pulled me down onto his chest as I felt him twitch inside of me.

“You feel so perfect.” He purred in my ear as we lay still for a few seconds before Michael excitedly propped himself up on his elbows. He rolled us over, so he was now looking down at me. I laid against the mattress with a confused look on my face.

“We’re gonna be here all night.” He finally spoke as he touched my lips with his.

“Well, I do have more to learn. If you’re interested in teaching into after school hours.” I teased, wrapping my legs around his hips.

“Your wish is my command.” He declared, kissing me sweetly before he started up again, his quick pace taking me by surprise.

The wooden bed frame shrieked against the floor boards with each thrust. Our kiss becoming sloppy, needy even. Everything felt so intense. I couldn’t catch my breath, but I didn’t care. As long as Michael stayed on top of me, beneath me— inside me, I didn’t care about anything else. It’s just us.

“Amazing.” I breathed out, working up the courage to speak. “Can I— can I try to use my mouth?” I asked nervously, staring straight up at the ceiling. Michael slowed down, dragging his finger along my jawline, forcing me look into his eyes.

“Baby, you can do whatever you want to me.”

[shenanigans-and-imagines]

Curious, do your Tav ideas work with dark urge too? Also cuddles! Have any cuddling head canons you’d like to share? :)

I honestly haven't seen enough dark urge playthroughs to say for certain. If anybody has a dark urge Astarion romance compilation they want to recommend me I'll take a look.

I will say I think Ace!Tav would be a very reluctant durge. I can't imagine them enjoying the violence and actively fight it at every chance, at least in how I characterize them in my brain.

As for cuddles, stand back, I'm about to ramble.

Let's be up front about this, both Astarion and Ace!Tav are touch starved as fuck

Astarion might have had a string of lovers, but we all saw what he looks like when he first got a hug; man doesn't know what to do with his hands, he hasn't been properly cuddled in centuries

Meanwhile Ace!Tav has more or less trained themselves to hold back on touching other people

When hugs and cuddles are tied to romantic connection, and romance is tied to sex, it's hard to get cuddles without something more being asked for

They had more than one relationship where they said yes to sex because what they really wanted was the cuddles after; it's a mess

So when Astarion and Ace!Tav finally get the whole truth out in the open about how they care for one another and that neither of them are particularly interest in sex, a whole new world opens up

It's slow going at first, neither are entirely certain what the rules are

Ace!Tav starts first, a brush of the hand here and head on the shoulder there

Slowly Astarion starts to reciprocate, squeezing their fingers and pulling them closer

One night they stay out late talking; not about anything in particular, just to enjoy each other's company and pass the time

Ace!Tav starts to get tired and says they need to go to bed...and, if Astarion wants to join them, he can, if he wants

Astarion just nods, any thought of words escaping him as Ace!Tav leads him to their tent

It's a bit awkward at first; Astarion is unfamiliar with this and honestly annoyed with himself that he's so clueless, his only consolation is that Ace!Tav seems just as unsure as him

Eventually they lay down facing each other, with Ace!Tav asking him if this was alright

He then takes the initiative, pulling them closer so his arms can wrap properly around them; he can feel their heart beat against his chest, echoing inside him like a memory

It's only then does he relax, knowing for certain that this really is all either of them want

After that, they hardly spend a night apart

Astarion may not need to sleep, but that's not going to stop him from cuddling with Ace!Tav until they do

They switch big spoon and little spoon

Some times Astarion wants to drift off to the sound of their heart in his ear and sometimes he wants to wrap them in his arms, knowing he's trust enough to keep them safe

In all honesty, Ace!Tav prefers to be the little spoon, but they can't deny there is something satisfying in being the big spoon now and again

Both of them had fallen victim to the cat in the lap rule; if one of them in laying on top of the other, they can't move for anything, no excuses

This starts to slowly extend to outside the tent as well

In actuality Ace!Tav is a very physically affectionate person, and Astarion is more than willing to indulge them

What better way to announce to the world, "this person is mine and I am theirs"

Hand holding, hand kisses, and playful nudges abound

It takes a lot of patience and communication to get to the point, but Gods does it feel right when they do

[widemindeddreamer]

Quiet

(Danny Wagner x F Reader)

MINORS DNI!! 18+

Warnings: Smut. it's all sex. Oral if you squint (M Receiving)

Day-Jobs are shit. You work all day with shitty, uptight people for a paycheck that's just enough to make ends meet. You couldn't stand the place, a cubicle, all alone, with no scenery to look at but the picturesque landscape on your computer monitor. A dream it would be to just drop everything you're doing and dive into it, away from the dreary, boring, beige, black and white, depressing......

you snap out of it. 5:00 pm. your shift is over. You look over at the unfinished paperwork, already collecting dust. The library was calling your name. You collect your things and stride out the door, the cool fall breeze flowing over you sending chills down your spine and a wave of comfort through your soul.

The library was super old, and always empty, but you loved it. The aroma of old books always brought you a sense of serenity as you flicked through them, finding one that would spark interest, and as you read, you would dream of a life that was different than the one you have now.

You walk through the library door, the quiet jingle of bells ringing through your ears, and you see him. A new librarian, with long, curly brown hair and eyes that glow with a brown-green hue. He's quiet, different from the usual librarian you see: Mrs. Garner. You try to brush the thought of him away as you do the same thing you always do: Flick through the books and read until you think you might pass out. This time felt different. The thought of him couldn't leave your mind, his eyes burning a hole into the back of your head. You try to maintain contact with the books, but your eyes drift towards him like a magnet. shit...shit...SHIT. he's staring right at me already....How long has he been staring? you thought to yourself. You quickly turn away, face flushed in red, rifling through the books before you can even read the titles. You pick out a random book just to check out. To see him. You approach the desk and you're already trembling. You clear your throat; "Hi," you softly stutter out, "I'm...Y/N, I'd like to check out this ...book. Uhm...here's my uh..card"

He looks up at you and smiles. "I'm Daniel. Daniel Wagner, but you can just call me Danny". You smile back at him, and end up in a conversation, completely discarding the book.

"I'm actually working here as a part-time librarian." he says "I live in the next town over, and I figured since it'd be so quiet, I would never have to deal with anyone, especially since nobody ever comes here." he laughs with a shrug.

"I come here often. I work a full-time job downtown. It's hell, honestly. Co-workers are always rude, my boss is always yelling, piles of paperwork collecting dust bunnies and cobwebs, just waiting to be filled out. This library is the only thing that brings me comfort and feels like...well..home."

"That does sound like hell, I could never work in a place like that." a tone of sympathy in his voice. He glances down to his watch, and smiles.

"It's time for my break, do you," he pauses "do you want to come with me to the break room? We can keep talking and, y'know, get to know each other better" he asks shyly. A simple nod in approval was all it took. The two of you walked to the break room, you both sat on a small couch, with no space for either of you to be completely apart. The gap was completely closed. The conversation continues, sharing information about life outside of jobs, hobbies, the list went on.

It felt like hours had passed, eons, maybe. It felt like you had known Danny since you were children, even though you've only known him for a few hours. Something about him felt right. It made you crave him. He was consuming every thought you had until there was nothing else to think about but Danny and Danny only.

danny...danny...danny...

danny this...danny that...blah blah blah...

The conversation slowly dwindled into silence. Silence so loud you could hear your own heartbeat pounding through your ears. Air so thick with lust and desire you could suffocate. Each hair on your arm standing on end, each and every breath you took almost felt like not taking a breath at all. The anticipation was overwhelming and you couldn't take much more. You felt like it was time to go. You stand up to leave, dusting invisible lint off of your now wrinkled clothes from sitting. As you walk towards the door, swallowing the anxious lump in your throat, a hand grabs your wrist.

Wait.

Don't go.

You turn around to see Danny holding your wrist with almost urgency.

Don't go just yet. Please.

The begging hue in his voice grabbed you tight and reeled you in, you couldn't help but stay with him longer. You needed his presence more than anything now, anyway. You sit even closer to him this time, almost straddling him, and continue to talk more in depth about life.

closer....

closer....

fuck.

You're on his lap now. Straddling him. Nose to nose with Danny.

"when the FUCK did this happen??" you thought to yourself, it felt like you blacked out and the rest was a blur.

Your shirt is now half-buttoned and his hands are on your hips. Your face is a deep red, his face painted with a bright red blush. The "amnesia" of it all subsides as you dive into him feverishly kissing him. Waves crashing upon waves of fervent kissing and touching, it felt endless.

His hands unbutton the rest of your shirt, revealing your lacy blue bra, to which he undoes with one hand and discards to the side. His plush lips kiss down...

down...

down...

down...

They hit your collarbone with the softest kiss, eliciting a soft groan from your throat. He leaves blushing bruises on your collarbone as he moves down to the valley between your breast, giving attention to each on as he softly kisses and marks one, while fidgeting and pulling at the other. He switches, making sure both tits are marked to his satisfaction. He motions for you to stand up, as you do, you discard the rest of your clothes to the side of the room. He unbuttons his shirt, but leaves it

on, and undoes his belt and pulls his pants

down halfway, revealing his boxers and his toned chest. With one swift motion he pulls his cock out, giving it a few gentle strokes before motioning back for you to take a seat.

The way you sink down onto his cock is almost pornographic. His hands glide up from your ass to your hips, guiding them while he thrusts into you.

theres a fire burning inside your core with every thrust as he fucks you. Sweat beading on your forehead and dripping onto his chest.

that's it, baby. Take it just like that

Every praise made you immediately want to burst at the seams and come undone on top of him just like that. His praise was like heaven on earth.

He continues to buck his hips into you, slowly growing more sloppy as he's close to his own release as you are to your own. Your chests are both rising and falling together in heavy pants, both groaning and moaning from the friction.

F...fuck. Yeah right there.

You feel so fucking good on me

Keep going, i'm close..fuck

God, i'm gonna cum

His hips buck into you once more, your orgasms hitting you both like a freight train at the same time. A loud groan escapes Danny's throat when he cums, and it fills you up nicely and drips back onto his cock when he pulls it out. You're seeing white while riding out the high. You never thought you'd be fucking a man you had just met, let alone a librarian.

You weren't finished yet, to Danny's absolute shock you let yourself off of his lap, position yourself on the floor between his legs, and suck his cock absolutely clean, the flavors of both yourself and him colliding together. It was such a dirty acted and you loved it. Danny was absolutely engulfed in the moment, he probably would've came again down your throat, but before he could even put his hands in your hair, you release him from your mouth with a pop and smile as you get up.

You collect his clothes and your own off the floor to put them back on, then head back into the main library area. You picked up the books you discarded before and handed them to Danny for him to check them out.

He stamps the book and hands them back to you with a smile.

Come see me again sometime, will you?

Of course I will.

You smile and exit the library, finally heading home. You're comfy in your bed and crack open the book to read it, but the book wasn't stamped with the name or date.

It was Danny's phone number.

[quinngefail]

I’m having a very very bad Christmas. Can you please tell me some sweet and fluffy chainshipping stuff? What do you think they’re doing for Christmas?

Well first off I'm sorry to hear, and I hope everything ends up alright :(

So uh even if it helps a lil bit, here's some Christmas things that came to mind! Absolutely putting a cut. Because it is Yap City down there 😩

So just to preface (and just really explain this in more depth for the first time), the way I'm writing them is with my timeline of the Bathroom Trap in October of 2004. The two eventually go back to their lives after being separately released from hospital care. They (Lawrence) do periodically get in contact with (Adam) one another, just to check in and all that… But as time goes on, they (Adam) stop answering each other's (Lawrence's) calls, and they completely drift apart. It's not until about a half a year passes (so June or July of 2005), when Lawrence happens to encounter Adam again, and it's immediately clear that things have gotten bad on Adam's end. Not that Lawrence isn't suffering himself, of course, but it's very apparent just how bad Adam is doing.

From there, they begin to shakily reconnect, and realize that they're the only people in the world who can ever truly understand the particular horror that they went through... And it slowly becomes clear that there is something still very much lingering between them. An ache, a desire, a yearn that has never left either of them since that day... Which brings only more to this difficult road they're already attempting to navigate.

...So with that established, I'm just gonna fast forward to December of 2005, where they've been together for a few months now, and have become close enough to want to celebrate the holidays together :)

(Quick note that Alison and Diana are physically out of the picture at this point in time, that's a whole other ramble for another time- in short, they got the fuck out of Saw City a good few months back, and are doing their own thing to recover from that day)

So WITH THAT ALL LAID OUT, here's some First Christmas headcanons:

First off, with Adam's dysfunctional ass family (whom he's also only sparingly talked to over the past seven-ish years), I just cannot imagine he's ever had a 'normal' Christmas. It "doesn't matter though", as he's declared for years now that he doesn't give two shits about this "Commercialized Crap Holiday for Brainwashed, Bible-Humping Idiots" ("The term is 'bible-thumping', Adam"). While initially he wears this attitude around Lawrence, he decides to just sorta ease up on it for now- especially after Lawrence expresses this simple, genuine want for the two of them to just have a nice celebration together.

Lawrence, meanwhile, has this lingering complication with the holiday from his upbringing- but he's definitely not at a stage where he's ready to get into all that with Adam. However, what's more important to him this year is just wanting to provide a nice Christmas for the both of them. He's really not fussy about all the 'Traditional Christmas Stuff™️' and genuinely just wants nothing more than a pleasant time with the person he cares so deeply for. Besides, it's only been a little over a year since the bathroom trap- and while things have gradually gotten easier since then, there's still a long way to go for the both of them. He knows that they both get stressed and overwhelmed rather easily, so he's more than fine with something that is just simple and laid back.

I think too, after he hears about Adam never having even one good Christmas, it's important for him to just. Provide that experience, y’know,

(And not in a WE NEED TO CONVERT YOU INTO LOVING CHRISTMAS 😤😤😤 sort of way lmao, it's more just like Hey it's that time of year where we take time to express love for one another, we just also happen to bring a tree into our house and cover it in decorations Iol. And I simply want to express love for you, while I happen to have a decorated tree in my house)

((Okay but speaking of trees I can fully imagine Lawrence being the type to have fake trees, but like dude my family has been doing the same for years lmao. I think we all just collectively got sick of the mess and I feel like he would be the same way HSJRJGK))

Anyway. Adam initially has the idea of putting together this collection of photos for Lawrence, as well as burning a CD for him with a very intentional selection of songs; both with the goal of just sorta expressing the things he struggles with actually saying to Lar. He has a very hard time with vulnerability, but finds it comes easier to him through art. However, it does not take long before a little voice in his head is hissing that it won't be enough for Lawrence, someone who he assumes is 'so accustomed' to 'high-class luxury'. This will be nothing compared to all that. Still, he goes through with taking photos of things he finds as captivating as Lawrence, and narrowing down a small selection of important songs that just make him think of Lar, their relationship, the difficult feelings Adam is grappling with, and anything between (he even tries to stay within that sappy shit Lawrence is so into, just to be extra sure that he'd like the music)... All while that critical voice in his head just grows louder and louder. Finally, a few days before Christmas, he has that breaking moment of like I CAN'T GIVE THESE TO HIM,

He scrambles to try and find a different gift- something big, fancy, and expensive- but quickly realizes that he cannot possibly afford anything that feels 'good enough' for Lawrence. This, of course, culminates on Christmas. But y’know before they do gifts and stuff, it is just a nice, quiet celebration- just staying in together, having a good dinner, and enjoying each other's company. Nothing too crazy or overstimulating, and more just romantic than anything. Like they got that low lighting, candles lit and shit, they got the mf Yule Log™️ on the TV of course with the instrumental Christmas tunes going, ALL THAT JAZZ

But uh when it's inevitably gift time, the very thing Adam had been dreading all evening, he begrudgingly hands over the photos and CD- but with about 50 million disclaimers over how I KNOW IT'S NOT MUCH, IT WAS A STUPID IDEA, I'M SORRY I COULDN'T DO MORE, YOU GOT ME ALL THIS STUFF BUT ALL I HAVE IS THIS FOR YOU, YOU CAN JUST THROW THEM OUT, ETC ETC ETC...

But obviously the gesture and intention behind them mean more than anything else here, and Lawrence is absolutely touched by it all. In fact, they could even listen to the CD right now, because one of the things Lawrence got him was a new Walkman 😊 !!

(Which like either the one Adam has is on its last legs and only works about half the time anymore, or he had to sell it among numerous other things to make ends meet during the time he and Lawrence weren't in contact post bathroom trap)

Adam loves it, of course, but the idea of listening to that CD with Lawrence definitely gets him all embarrassed lmao. But, after a bit, he relents- again, with the 50 million disclaimers of I MAY HAVE BEEN A LITTLE HIGH WHEN I PUT THIS TOGETHER (he wasn't), I'M SORRY IF IT SUCKS, I REALLY DIDN'T KNOW WHAT I WAS THINKING WITH INCLUDING THIS SONG (he knew). Lawrence assures him he won't laugh or judge or anything.

So with Adam's worry quelled just enough, they sit back on the couch and get close, share a set of earbuds, and listen to it together :)

(And y’know it would be fun to actually put that playlist together myself for the immersive experience HSJGK....)

And I just have the visual in my head of Adam, arms crossed over his chest, eyes squeezed shut, rapidly bouncing his leg, heart pounding out of his chest, just being like this sucks this sucks this sucks this sucks this sucks this sucks this sucks this sucks this sucks he hates this he hates this he hates this he hates this he hates this he hates this-

Lawrence, meanwhile,

THERE'S EVEN A FEW BEATLES SONGS IN THERE...... LIKE OOKAYYY, 🥰😭 (which y’know they may sound rather fucked with the both of them only getting one earbud, but THAT'S OKAY 🙌)

(💥 This has been a Beatles left/right sound channel mixing joke 💥)

But yes when the CD ends, Lar is over the moon lmao. Happily going on about how much he loves it, this is going in his car and he'll love listening to it again; and these photos must be framed and hung up as soon as possible- this one here especially is going in his office, immediately- while Adam sits there, just silently staring at him,, and feeling himself finally just relax.

(For now at least huhehghgh)

But of course, they share that very tender kiss and embrace. So all in all... It's a good night :)

So uh!! I got a bit fixated on just that whole moment here, but I hope you enjoy regardless hehehehh

And I hope you all had a nice Christmas yourself, if you celebrate!!

[rafayelsbelovedbride]

Dragons and scapegoats

I made a post a while ago comparing Philos/Earth/Lemuria to Omelas here. And now that Sylus has his myths too, let me continue.

Special thanks to @ourlittleuluru for giving me more reason to talk about him. I was just going to reblog it with your tags but it got too long. So here it is~

While my expectations about the myths were way off for Sylus, I think, he still fits this theme really well. Because, yes, he was the child in the basement, and he was the scapegoat, along with all the dragons.

When humans first arrived in the past days of Philos, they probably came to this place to escape the wanderer-infested Earth and find a place where they could live a peaceful life. Maybe the public was told Philos would be a nice little utopic place where people could live without fearing for their lives. But they were sold a lie. What they found when they arrived at Philos was a dying planet where dragons ruled, with a hollow core that was falling apart into pieces. It was just fragmented landmasses slowly drifting apart as described in Xavier's anecdotes.

So, wouldn't the public be outraged? Defeated. Betrayed. Drained. Drained, because they still have to fight for their lives. Betrayed, because they were scammed out of a better future. Defeated, because there is no such thing as heaven, only a different hell.

So, of course, to prevent the public from turning against them, the people who brought humanity to Philos had to find someone to blame.

A perfect scapegoat. A scapegoat that can hold a mirror to all of humanity's twisted desires and yet still be blamed for it.

Dragons, the harbinger of war and conflict. Dragons, that could bring the darkest parts of one's soul to light. Of course, they're to blame. After all, anyone would prefer to say, it was not me who had these evil, heinous thoughts, my soul was corrupted by a dragon. No need to take responsibility for my wicked nature, the dragon made me do it.

So, they declared war on dragons, promising a better future once again. They killed every single one of the dragon-kind until there was only one of them left. Now, the last dragon cannot be killed. If all dragons were dead, then there would be no scapegoat. One of them must be kept locked in the basement to remind us all he's responsible for every evil in this world. We are not just locking a little child into the basement, we are locking the evil away.

So they made a spectacle out of the last dragon's demise and sealed him into the abyss with a claymore in his chest. A violent end for a vicious dragon. A constant reminder to all humanity to keep their souls untainted by desire. Of course, a puppet without a want is the easiest to control after all.

But, now, enough time has passed. Maybe the public is growing restless and no one really cares about the child in the basement anymore. So, the moment they find a puppet with a single desire, they frame her too. And burn her dragon. Burn her sympathy for the locked child.

And that's how it begins. For MC's and Sylus's story, they're both the scapegoats. And for their story, MC is the one who broke the child free out of the basement and brought doomsday to Philos. With Sylus, we take a closer look at the story from the child's perspective rather than the savior's, who set the child free.

And, we see that even freeing the child and destroying the people responsible for his imprisonment does not guarantee a happy ending. He is still a dragon who is destined to ruin anything he loves and everything he desires.

And, maybe that was the reason why he let himself be trapped by the sacred judicator in the first place. Sylus never accepted his identity as a dragon. He hated it. He fooled himself into thinking he was just like other humans, and cut up his horns every time they grow until he was a bloody mess. Maybe, that young dragon, while soldiers were chasing him with their swords, thought that this was what he deserved. Happiness and being satisfied with what he has is just not in his nature. That day, he was defeated not by an army of humans, but by his own hatred against himself.

So, loving her, with his own soul etched in hers, meant accepting his own nature. And maybe, that was how he actually broke free out of his chains. That's when he saw himself not as a scapegoat for humanity's sins, but as a lonely dragon who deserved this love he received.

At the beginning of the story, he did not try to break free from his chains until MC found him, he did not seek revenge unless MC asked for it. But by the end, he broke free when was imprisoned and burned down every city to the ground. By the end, he seeked MC when she was about to be executed and willingly fell into their trap. Only this time he did not accept his end because he hated himself, but he accepted it to save his beloved who owns half his soul. That was a sacrifice he made in the name of love, all with selflessness, while accepting his flawed nature. And that's how he broke free of the dragon's curse at the same time he escaped his fate to become a scapegoat for the people of Philos.

And I really love the current Sylus. He still longs for human connection just like his younger self. But his desire to connect does not bring self-hatred anymore. Instead, he rides the subway, takes the twins under his wings, and goes to karaoke with MC's coworkers.

Maybe, he feels at peace now. I hope he does.

He's reunited with the owner of his soul. And even if everyone blames him for what's wrong in this world, he has no desire to let them have their way. He will escape the space-time prison and chase MC to the ends of the worlds.

So, he will get the ending he actually deserves this time with his beloved by his side.

[asteiioss]

Spencer x BAUreader

ONE-SHOT

18+!!! CONTENT WARNING!!! Mature language, slight massaging, mention of rape, talk about past relationships, smut (fingering,oral sex, p in v, unprotected sex, praise kink)

After finally reaching the apartment door, she almost pushes it open with her body, groaning from muscle tension and pain in her toes after carrying her bodyweight for more than twenty-four hours. The key danced while still stuck in the keyhole along with all the keychains attached to it. She didn't bother getting it out or closing the door, she already knew her boyfriend was doing it while she left her bags by the bedroom door and turned to face the entrance when she threw herself on the softness of the familiar bed.

A hard breath left her lips, tension finally leaving her legs, which tingled from the sudden release of pressure. The dim light from the hallway outside was the only thing that helped to see in the darkness present in the room. Muffled noises coming from outside, rattling, and klacking of keys, sounding the front door locking meant Spencer has entered the apartment too, making the two officially home after the longest case they remember working on.

Her mind drifts to the timeline of their relationship. For an entire year, all she's done was avoid the feelings that she had. Spencer did the same. Both her and her now boyfriend were scared, not only of rejection but of their boss and peers finding out. Relationships within the unit were off-limits. This was a known issue for the romance they daydreamed about almost all the time while sitting across from each other.

Funny enough, the tension only grew until it was too much to handle, leaving the two to maintain a secret relationship from their work colleagues and friends. The job always came first in this situation. For almost six months now, their devious little plan worked, and their friends didn't suspect anything. The sly jokes that poked around about the two youngest agents were already a traditional addition to the everyday conversations they all had.

The word grateful was beyond small in comparison to what she actually felt for her FBI team. Those people accepted her and cared for her, something her family never was able to do, especially after what that high-school boyfriend did. Using the advantage of a woman for self pleasure just because he called her his girlfriend was also rape. Consent was something she never had the power to give or be asked for. After that, physical touch became taboo.

Ripped from her thoughts after the sound of footsteps approaching the bedroom door, she glanced up, not moving, her body still aching from the tensiom release, a tall figure with fluffy curly hair appears at the doorframe. "You do know you're laying in bed with your work clothes, right love?" His voice sounded tired and weak almost. In traces, she could hear the sleepiness and rust in his throat.

"Yeah, your point?" She answer him with a cocky tone, the tip of her lips tugging into a devilish smirk. She loved the teasing and arrogance of her personality towards him. In its own way, the teasing was her way of saying i love you.

"Even after everything we pulled through the past few days, you still have energy to give me attitude?" He almost spat out. His tone only feeding her intention to continue.

"I don't know what you mean, Spence. You pointed out I was laying in bed fully clothed for work, and I confirmed." She sat up in the bed, a small grin directly pointed to him.

And he knew it the moment she moved from the bed.

"You are a devil in disguise. You know that, right?" A chuckle escaped his throat as he turned to the night table and took off his watch. In response, she only grunted after slowly moving her neck from side to side, trying to free it from the tension that was still stuck in the sides, sliding down to her shoulders. "You okay?" He turned to you, concerned with the noises she made.

"I am, just really tense." One of her hands flew to the base of her neck rubbing small circles in the hardness of her muscles.

"Can I help?"

Shivers went down her spine as a few images raced through her mind. The most unholy things raced in her head. His touch on her skin, the tip of his long fingers pressed into her muscles. "I-uh.." Warmth of his touch was still unknown to her body. The most she felt was his hand in hers, nothing more. But she knew she'd be lying if she said she didn't imagine something more happening. Truth be told, those thoughts were what made her reach the feeling of euphoria when she were alone in her room, pleasuring herself alone. It was the only way she knew to achieve such pleasure. "If you don't mind. Sure, yeah." The words she wanted to sound firm and stable were nothing like what they did come out like. Praying he didn't notice was all she could do.

He came up to the bed, the mattress shifting underneath them with his weight. He sat behind her and slowly caressed the tip of her skin on the temple of her neck, feeling where the tension was mostly built up. After finding the spot, he gently started rubbing in it, pressing his fingers into her skin, unleashing the unpleasant pressure in her body. Her eyes fluttered shut with a deep breath as he worked his magic.

The operation of his hands was rough, enough to penetrate just the right amount of force to ease the pain, and still was delicate and amatory. After working on the upper part of her neck, his hands slowly trailed down to her shoulders, his fingers wrapping around her collarbone. The moment his skin touched that part, a muffled moan escaped her lips.

"Are you okay?!" He stopped any motion he was working. "Did I hurt you?! I'm so sorry if I did angel."

"No, no! It's actually really good. You're doing good." She slightly turned to see his face, kissed with the faint light coming from outside the room. His expression held tendency and concern. Her gaze softened as his hands stood still on her back. "Could you continue? Please?"

He smiled with the corners of his mouth and planted a kiss on her neck. The feeling of his lips made her flinch, the sudden movement of her body making him uneasy. "Love, what-" he stemmered, "what happened?"

"Sorry, I-I'm just not used to that kind of touch, I-" the haunting past corrupted the atmosphere around her body, making her feel small and chained up.

Spencer quickly shitfed next to her, wrapping his hands around her waist, hugging her tightly. "I promise you are safe." He whispered into her skin. "No one can hurt you while you are with me."

Her lips formed a smile as for the first time in someone's embrace, she felt safe. For the first time, someone's touch was pleasant. "Sorry about that." You said after pulling away.

"Can I ask you something? If you don't want to answer, I'll understand." He looked at her with a straight face. She didn't say anything, just nodded, looking at his face mostly in the shadows of the dark room. "Did anyone ever actually pleasure you?"

Taken aback by the direct question, for a moment, all she could do was stare at him with wide eyes. After seeing he was serious about having that answer, she slightly shook her head before inhaling. Air felt somewhat heavier than usual. "No." She answered, the two-letter word fell out like a rock. "What happened a few years ago was the only physical touch I felt. Aside from that, I never actually... did it."

Spencer looked away, his eyes falling to the floor, wondering around as if he was thinking about something. He licked his lips before pressing them together. "Could I try?" He looked back up.

Her entire body almost screamed the confirming consent that he was asking for. The small voice got stuck in the back of her throat. All she could do was slightly nod, approving whatever he wanted to do. And he obligated.

"Lay down for me." There was traces of comanding in his voice, but without questioning him, she did as she was fold. He followed after, climbing over her and shadowing her from the small light coming from the other room. Lowering his body, he connected his lips to hers, making her immediately shiver by the new feeling of his touch.

He backed away so his eyes met hers, "Calm down, enjoy the feeling." His words echoed as he came back to her lips, kissing them passionately. His lips moved slowly, like they were tired. Kisses turned lazy and sloppy. The breathing in her chest calmed, and he noticed it right away because he chuckled against her lips and almost whispered into them, "Good girl."

She smiled back against his lips when his tongue required entrance, which she granted with the same motion. Tongues dancing against each other, exploring the sensation of one another, his hand cupped her jaw, pulling her even closer into him, deepening the kiss, like it was possible to be more close to him.

His hand trailed down, caressing her shirt, going over the bare hips underneath her shirt, and his fingertips shortly found their way on the buttons of her trousers. His kisses left her lips and went the path down her jaw and neck, following all the way to the collarbone. The room filled the muffle moans and hich breaths that gave Spencer more affirmation to continue.

Taking off her trousers, he planted a kiss on the fabric of her shirt, directly in the middle of her breasts that screamed for his touch. Bare skin on her legs welcomed the cool air. Suddenly, the realization of her naked skin being exposed felt free, unlike the embarrassment that usually came along that feeling.

That realization was followed by another when she felt her arousal soaked her underwear. Blood rushed into her cheeks, giving them the pinkish tone that only defined more the messiness of her current situation.

His long fingers trailed the wet fabric, making her gasp as his tender touch came up to your core. "So wet. All this for me, angel?" He almost chuckled as he rubbed small circles against her most sensitive spot.

"Please -" the whispered whimper caused him to tugg onto the underwear and yank it off, exposing her completely his own mercy. A hich breath followed his action as he looked down at the bare skin.

"God, you're gorgeous." He said before lowering his hand back at the aching core, all drenched in the juices of her arousal. Long fingers slowly traced up and down before finding their way to the tense clit, making her squirm at his touch. Rubbing small circles, his other hand slithered up under her shirt to cup one of her breasts.

Soft moans and pleading filled the room the more he worked his fingers. Her body asked for more, the touch, the feeling, the aching was unbearable.

His thumb moved around, circling around and over her tense nipple, making her mouth fall open. Watching her body cry out for him just by the slightest touch, he lowered himself onto her, kissing the spot above his fingers between her legs. She trembled by the sensation of his lips against her skin. Shortly after, he removed his finger from her core and replaced it by his tongue. Whimpering, she arched her back at the new furor, but was quickly stopped as he left her cupping breast and held down her hips. Pulling her down to the edge of the bed, she felt more exposed, only for him to be able to take her more.

He lowered his hand to her entrance, teasing at her lips. She couldn't form words, but she begged. She prayed for more, prayed for him to do the most unholy and unethical things to her. He felt her body aching as he pushed his middle finger into her, her walls instantly clenching around him.

The double sensation on her most sensitive spot made her toes curl. His tongue licked her clit while pumping his finger in and out of her, making her whimper every time he went back in, going deeper with each thrust.

"Oh, God." She gasped as he kissed and sucked at her core. She took every moment in, feeling beyond pleasure, for this was everything he never was. The firm work he was doing was nothing like him. Holding her hips down, she couldn't move, but she wanted to. She wanted to grind on his face, feeling his mouth all over her. Her thighs wanted to close and hold his head just where it was now, never letting go.

He stopped, only to look up at her. "I didn't know you were such a slut." He grinned, pulling out his finger before looking at it, covered in her juice. "How about one more for my pretty girl, huh?"

Before you could answer him or even comprehend what he said, he went back down, passionately sucking her clit and thrusting in two fingers into her. Gasping for thick air, fer fingerst twisted around the sheets that she could clenched onto, gripping them tightly.

This time, he didn't motion his fingers in and out, but he thrusted the as deep as he could, curling his fingers inside her. Her shirt sweltered against her skin, perspiration escaping her body from the sense of everything Spencer was doing.

And, boy, was he doing a lot. His fingers curled inside her, then relaxing again, repeating it over and over. His mouth went from slight kissing on her lips to sucking on her clit and licking every inch of her sex. And the worst part? Or the best? His other hand pressed her lower stomach, making the curling fingers hit that most sensitive spot inside her.

Fastening his pace of twisting and untwisting his fingers, she could feel fer climax taking over her body. And he could, too. The trembling of her body and shaking of her thighs, her walls clenched around his two long fingers. "I'm gonna- oh God" she almost screamed.

"You like that?" He mumbled against her core. All she could do was nod and hum the answer he wanted to hear. She drifted into the void of the euphoria that was just beyond her reach when he suddenly stepped anything that he was doing.

He stepped back to look at her, her body desperately shaking for the return of his touch. "What did you do? Why did you do that?" She asked all flustered from the previous doing.

He grinned, "Did I say you could come?"

And it hit her. She was at his mercy. Her pleasure was in his control. Her mouth fell open when he started unbuttoning his pants before sliding them off, kicking them to the floor. "Look at you, all flustered because of me." He climbed onto the bed hovering over her. Tracing his fingers covered in fer arousal over her lips, slowly parting them. "Suck."

His voice was comanding, not giving her any other option than to obey. And she did. She opened her mouth, and he pushed his fingers onto her tongue. She licked the tip of his fingers, closing her mouth to suck on them. She could feel herself as he pulled them slowly out, caressing her lips one more time before kissing them hardly. "You take orders so well." He whispered against her lips.

His hands slithered to the ends of her shirt, thugging on it and yanking it off, exposing her naked breasts. She was now fully exposed to him. All his.

He broke the kiss and looked at her, taking her in. His hands flew to her chest, massaging them while his thumbs went back and forth over her nipples. Leaning down, he kissed one than the other befode going back again and sucking on her.

She moaned as he took in every inch of her, but she was still desperate. Her insides ached to feel him, especially after what he did before. She wanted to feel that euphoria take over her. Her hunger for him was her weakness. And he was feeding on it. He was making her desperate.

He was back between her legs, wearing nothing but a devilish grin when he placed his tip on her entrance. She looked down, almost staring at him. Trying to feel ahead of how he would feel inside, she was almost scared. His was gripping the sheets at the feeling of his two fingers. How would she take his hard member?

"You like staring at it?" He trailed his tip up and down her. But she couldn't asnwer, only moan. So desperately wanting to feel him, she bucked her hips up, almost jabbing herself onto him. He backed away just enough to stay out as he chuckled. "Just a little more. I like teasing you."

"Spencer, please..." she pleaded. Begged.

"Please, what? Use your words, darling."

She looked at him with desperate eyes before barely making the sounds of her voice, "Fuck me, please."

Grinning one more time at the pleading sounds, he adjusted himself before slowly going in all the way. She gasped as she took every inch of him. He held himself balls deep into her, watching as she gasped for him, taking her like this. He groaned at the tightness around his member.

Backing up, he thrusted back into her, making her moan out his name. That's exactly what she was. A whining, whimpering mess. Prompting himself up with one hand as he thrusted his hips with full force into her, he lowered his hand down to her clit rubbing small circles while she pleaded for more. She felt so full of him.

She threw her hands around his neck, reaching his back and leaving scratch marks over his shoulders and down his back. He almost howled at the marks she left, but it did stop him from hitting her with his hips.

"You're so tight. It feels so good."

The room filled was filled with whines and whimpers, backing up the sound of skin hitting against wet skin. For the second time, she could feel her climax taking over. Her walls clenched again around him, and she tightly gripped on his neck. "Hold on a little longer, angel." He wanted to feel her a little longer.

"I- I can't.." she whined into the skin of his neck, burying her face in him. The feeling of him slamming into the deepest parts of her only drew her climax closer. She wrapped her legs around his torso, forcing him to release his hands from her clit. She pulled him closer as she couldn't contain the feeling any longer.

"Let go, my love." With his words, she screamed out his name, emracing the feeling of euphoria that clouded her vision, unableing her to distinguish anything in her surroundings. Holding tightly onto him, her climax continued, and ao did he. He didn't stop thrusting enev after he felt her reach the pleasurable end. Hitting the most sensitive part, he could feel himself coming too.

"Are you still coming?" He grunted out, and all she was able to do was nod against his neck. He let out whines as he also could hold back himself any longer, having to release himself inside.

Panting, she felt his body almost crash onto hers as he finished. The, now, two lovers breathed heavily against each other as they tried to catch their breath after finally released all the tension of their bodies. Only after this did they realize how hungry they were for one another. After catching his breath, Spencer prompted himself on his hands and kissed her lips once more, smiling against them.

"You feeling better?" He mumbled against her lips.

"Much better."

[moociaoafterdark]

Happy 2025 y'all!!! Starting this year with this little HoruSang snippet. They say the way you spend the new year depends on how you meet it. Why not kick it off with some Warhammer?

First kiss, New Year/Christmas fluff, two Primarchs chilling in the garden 5 inches apart because they are gay, kiss under a mistletoe, English not Moociao's first language, also I'm tipsy and tired 😪

“What else has our Father told you?”

“I'm sorry, about what exactly?”

“The holiday! How else did people bid farewell to the old year and greet the new one?”

Horus nodded, looking away from his brother and taking another sip from his chalice. The air was cool and peaceful, something that can't be said about the inside of the Palace. A celebration was in full swing. He and Sanguinius could hear laughter, chatter and cheering. It was tolerable… well, until it wasn't. Sanguinius pulled the Luna Wolves Primarch to the side, leaning close to his ear. Horus could already smell the alcohol in the Angel's breath, though the latter didn't appear drunk. When the offer of taking a break from the small crowd that had gathered around the Emperor's first found son was voiced, Horus was already on the way outside, gently pulling Sanguinius with him into one of the Palace's gardens.

“It was a time for the creatives as well,” Horus said, frowning, trying to recall one of the many conversations he had with his Father. “Artists, poets, artisans, musicians. They held numerous festivals and celebrations, all around Terra,” the Primarch gestured to the Palace, “similar to this one. However, a lot of people preferred to spend time with their family or in the company of their closest companions instead. It was almost sacred to them.”

Sanguinius nods. “Sounds about right.”

“Father said that,” Horus continued, “how you spend the new year depends on how you meet it.”

The Angel chuckled, the feathers of his wings shaking slightly with each chuckle. “And how did that work?”

Horus shrugged.

Sanguinius hummed and turned away at the exact moment Horus looked back at him. “Why did people abandon all of these traditions? Why didn't Father bring them back?”

“Perhaps he has a sore spot for this particular holiday?” the Luna Wolf suggested.

“Did he?” Sanguinius looked at Horus again, locking gazes with him.

“I don't know,” Horus said, smirking and raising his chalice in the toast. “But I wouldn't put it past him.”

Sanguinius rolled his blue eyes and clicked chalices with his brother. “I think it wouldn't hurt to bring these celebrations back.”

Horus laughed. “I think so too!” He set the goblet to the side, while the Angel drank his share of wine. “Although it would, understandably, be difficult at first, I think we can do it. A day when the whole Imperium is brought together. Families, friends, comrades. A beautiful celebration of yet another triumph of humanity.”

“Getting through another year?” Sanguinius smirked.

“That too,” the Luna Wolf laughed again. “But I was talking about unity, the camaraderie. Brought once again into the light of progress and prosperity through mutual effort.”

The Angel shook his head. “You sound like him.”

“Like Father?”

“Who else?”

“Uncle?” Horus raised his eyebrow, his voice drifting off, like he was making a genuine guess.

Sanguinius laughed, throwing his head back. His brother admired the long blonde ringlets, the slight blush on the Angel’s tan skin, the pristine white feathers. The barely noticeable glint of fangs. Horus shook his head. “You didn't think I was serious, right?”

“Thank the Throne you're not!” the Blood Angel said as his laughter slowly died out. He leaned forward, as if he was about to hug Horus, but just kept getting closer and closer. The Luna Wolf swore he could hear his rapidly rising heartbeats, his palms growing sweaty, before his hands curled into fists. The Angel's face was mere inches away from his, to the point he could feel Sanguinius’ breath against his skin, the smile never leaving his face, his eyes half-lidded. But the Angel wasn't looking at him. Rather somewhere past Horus. “I still think you had a bit too much,” Sanguinius cooed and withdrew back, Horus’ chalice in his other hand, his smile growing cocky.

“Hey!” Horus tried to sound genuinely offended, but instead his voice came out in the single shocked breath. He didn't even notice himself holding back his breath. “How much did you drink, angel?” the Primarch finally found his words.

“Not that much, don't worry,” Sanguinius waved him off, already taking a sip from Horus’ goblet, the exact place where the Luna Wolf's lips were minutes ago. He stood up from the seat and walked off. Horus stood up and followed him.

“I think you did,” he argued. “I think you should maybe lay off the wine for the rest of the night. It's not good for you.”

Sanguinius scoffed. “We were made to withstand the worst of injuries, Horus,” the Angel argued, walking through the darkness of the garden. “And if I were to tell you about the things I survived at Baal, you wouldn't be chasing me around like a babysitter.”

There was a flash of frustration in Horus’ sea green eyes and the wolf pet draped around his shoulders looked as if it scowled for its owner. The Luna Wolf's hand grabbed Sanguinius’ arm and, despite both of the brothers being muscular giants, Horus was still slightly bigger than the Angel. “Sanguinius, I think you're forgetting something,” he said with a stern tone, like an older brother scolding his younger, unruly sibling would… Though, wasn't that exactly the case? “I am not just your mentor. I am your brother, first and foremost. My care and responsibility for you go far beyond that of a mentor assigned to you by our Father.”

“I am a grown man, Horus,” Sanguinius narrowed his eyes at the Luna Wolf. “I had fought for survival since day one, I had led my people to prosperity, I was worshipped as a saint by them!” He raised his empty cup. “You think I would embarrass myself after some wine?”

Sanguinius had a point, but Horus just couldn't let him go after that moment when the Angel reached out for Horus’ cup. There was something in the air between them, something in his sapphire eyes, his scent. There was something in the way Sanguinius put his lips in the exact place where Horus’ own once was.

“You already act weird!” Horus turned Sanguinius around, perhaps a little too harshly, so that the other was facing him. The tree they were under cast a shadow down on them, the round patches of parasitic plants with tiny white berries, loomed eerily above them all.

“Define ‘weird’, brother!” Sanguinius raised his voice, his annoyance turning into anger.

The next moment was a blur for both of them. Perhaps, Sanguinius was right and Horus did drink too much. Perhaps, Horus was right and it is the Angel that overdid with the alcohol, which caused him to act so provocatively. Whatever it was, the Luna Wolf pressed his lips against Sanguinius’. Frankly put, he was bad at it. He knew how to kill, how to pacify, how to negotiate and how to strategize. But kissing? Considering the sheer size difference between any of the Primarchs, especially ones like Horus, who were on the larger side, and the regular humans, it was safe to say that the sons of the Emperor were never made with this in mind. And kissing a brother, a fellow Primarch, in the way hot-headed young lovers do? It's degeneracy, a taboo.

Horus expected to be pushed away, but he was not. Sanguinius stays motionless and looks at Horus with a mix of surprise and… excitement? Yes, once the novelty and shock wore off, the Angel leaned into the kiss, closing his eyes and breathing out in what can only be relief. He didn't know how to kiss either, of course, but that didn't matter to both of them.

Once they withdrew from each other, Sanguinius drew in breath and went for another kiss. Horus didn't dare to stop him, even though the sober and sane part of his brain told him he should. He must. Instead, he responded, eagerly, for he knew he wanted this as much as Sanguinius did. His hands went to grab onto the Angel's arms, drawing him closer. They withdrew again, then came together once more. Each new kiss felt more like it's supposed to be, better than the last.

Horus was the first to speak when he realized that Sanguinius wasn't about to go in for another one. “Maybe… We both had a little bit too much,” he rasped out, his voice breathy.

“Don't say that,” Sanguinius frowned, sounding more firm. “I don't want this to be a drunken mistake, Horus.” There was a hint of fear and worry in the Angel's eyes.

“It's not,” Horus knew what to say, his grip on Sanguinius’ arms growing stronger. “Brother, this is not a mistake. Even if we shouldn't have done that, I don't want us to stop." He pulled his brother closer, their bodies now finally flushed against one another, only separated by their clothes. “I can't stop.”

Horus’ name echoed in the late evening air of the garden, as someone called out, seeking the Primarch's audience. The sound forced both of the brothers to look in the direction of it, fearing they have been caught. Luckily, there was no one… Yet. Their excellent hearing could make out the sound of approaching steps.

“My bed chamber,” Sanguinius said, looking back at Horus. “After the party, meet me there.” The Angel shoved a goblet into the hands of the Luna Wolves Primarch. “You can't stop? Neither can I.”

With those parting words and a promise still ringing in the air, Sanguinius hurried away from his brother, disappearing into the garden, supposedly done with the celebration and on his way to his quarters. Horus looked at the retreating figure of his brother and once the last glimmer of the white wings was gone, he looked down at the cup Sanguinius gave him. 

Last he remembered, his chalice wasn't supposed to be empty.