#i talk a lot about writing for a dude that's never had the guts to publish but i choose to view this as a form of hypnotic self suggestion

[2therazor]

smut prompt 8 x tbp era mikey way??!?!??! i feel lile tbp mikey is just so dirty nasty tbh like hes so dom idgaf

ignorance is your new best friend

"Open your legs for me, baby. I wanna see you."

(prompts originally from @delusionisaplace)

anon i could not agree with you more… so here we are!

w/c: 2,210k

content warnings: afab reader, rough sex, dom!mikey, brat reader, reader is a sound techie for the band lol, also mikey is kinda a jerk sorry, angry sex, kinda angst but a happy ending

a/n: (finally writing this like three months later.... oops.. sorry...) not proofread, so there may be some grammatical and mechanical errors. also don't rlly know if I like this one... oh well!

you are responsible for your own media consumption.

mikey had always liked to act oblivious. oblivious to your antics, more so. all day you'd been following him around backstage like a sad dog wanting attention, but still, he paid no mind.

was he ignoring you on purpose? trying to push your buttons? trying to see just how far he could get before you would fall right back into his arms (and bunk) for the night.

you tried not to dwell on it, after all if something was wrong mikey would say something, right? you dragged your feet around backstage to the catering table, picking at the stale sandwiches left behind.

"jesus, what's wrong with you dude?" a voice came from behind you, and from none other than frank, possibly the most nosy friend you've had in your life.

you quickly turned around, trying to hide the empty feeling that mikey was ignoring you. you had been sleeping together for some time but had never really had the "what are we?" conversation. you had kind of hoped it stayed that way though, you were just a sound tech for the band, but had known mikey for years.

shaking your head you murmured, "i'm fine frankie, besides it's not really your business anyways" slowly walking away from the catering table, head down. you loved frank, but you didn't really have the energy to gossip about your tragic sex life at the moment.

before you could walk even three steps away, a foot was placed in front of yours, causing you to look up, face to face with frank.

"you're annoying, you know that right?" his smile wide and as stupid as ever. you really weren't getting out of this one, were you?

surrendering your pride, you take a deep breath in, then sigh. "it's mikey, he's kinda just been ignoring me all day. it's pissing me off, and he won't really tell me why either. i dunno, I just wish he'd talk to me about it instead of acting like I'm some plague-ridden peasant or something."

frank looks at you a moment, studying your expression. for a moment, it looks like he's about to say something. then he just reaches out, puts his hand on your shoulder and calmly says: "it's not you, I promise. mikey just has a lot of things he needs to tell you, but instead of telling you, he likes to pretend his feelings will just magically disappear. but he's kinda a fucking idiot so…" he trails off then slowly pulls you into a hug.

you could probably cry, but whatever deep dark secret frank just shared was way too cryptic. what did he mean it wasn't you? what did he mean mikey had things he needs to tell you? it was all too confusing. god you wish mikey would just grow up and tell you instead of ignoring your advances all day. nonetheless, you let go of frank and wipe a small tear forming in your eye. "thanks frank."

"yeah," he rubs your back a bit. "just don't tell mikey I told you, or you might find my guts by your door tomorrow morning." he grinned, dragging his feet on the concrete behind him.

"five minutes everyone!" a loud voice rings from behind you. sound check was done, now it was time to sit through an hour and a half long show and pine over mikey for most, if not all of it.

you sigh, heading to your side of the stage. this was going to be the longest hour and a half of your extremely short lived life.

the show had come to an end, and you weren't really upset anymore, just very very bitter. you needed to talk to mikey or you would drive yourself insane the rest of the tour. so as soon as he stepped off stage, damp and sweaty hair, you grabbed him by the wrist and pulled him aside.

he glanced down at you, a smug look on his face. "hi.." he started.

"why have you been such a dick today mikey? you've been ignoring me since we got off the tour bus, and you won't even tell me why?"

again, he just looked down at you and smiled cockily. "you like it when I play games though don't you? you love having to beg for my attention," he leaned down so his mouth was in the shell of your ear "you love having to beg for my cock, don't you?"

fuck. he was such a fucking asshole. this is the whole reason he was doing this? to piss you off so you'd fuck him?

"grow the fuck up mikey. if you have something to say to me just say it. we're not 16 anymore, ignoring so i'd fuck you is beyond low."

"that's funny you say that," his hand reaches for your chin pulling it up so it faces him. "because you fall for it every single fucking time" before you can retort, he pulls you in for a kiss. not a tender one either, quickly opening your mouth with his tongue and grabbing you by the waist. your knees are weak, your heart is beating fast. he's right. you fall for it every goddamn time.

he pulls away for a second, setting his bass on a stand. "come with me to the dressing room, we have like 20 minutes max"

annoyed and horny, you oblige, quickly pushing your way past the rest of the sound crew and a few other unrecognizable faces.

as soon as the door swung open, you didn’t even have time to think before mikey pressed his lips against yours. the whole situation was so juvenile. sneaking off to make out, him ignoring you so you’d fuck him. you tried to ignore the pain in your chest as he slid his knee to your core.

you stifled a moan at this, grabbing his hair, pulling him in harder. if he wanted to get you worked up, he was gonna have hell to pay.

“god, you’re so pretty like this.” he breathed heavily into your neck after feverishly breaking the kiss holding you two together.

“are you gonna keep teasing or are you actually gonna get me off mikey?” you pushed your pussy further onto his leg, grinding on him as he casually left marks that everyone would defininintely give you shit for later.

“fuck,” he stuttered, moving his hands to remove your jeans finally.

you smiled lightly, knowing you had him right where you wanted him. you moved your hand to grasp his black locks once again, just to bask in the small noises he made, just for you. a ping of jealously hit your chest, just the thought of him making these sounds for anyone else made you want to fuck him harder.

he swiftly took off your underwear after making a show of taking off your jeans, pressing two fingers inside of you before you even had time to think.

“only i get to see you like this, you’re mine” he whispered in your ear as he worked another finger inside of you, slowly moving his thumb around your clit.

that sentence alone almost had you falling apart on his skilled fingers. you shuddered a breath at his possessiveness, knowing that deep down, no matter whoever the fuck else he was sleeping around with, you were his regardless.

“mikey please” you pleaded with him, not even really sure what you were begging for at this point.

“what baby? what do you want from me?” he spoke softly, genuinely sounding sincere. it broke your heart a little more than it should’ve, honestly.

you felt tears prick at the corners of your eyes, but bit your lip as hard as you could trying not to cry.

“shh… it’s okay baby. i’m sorry for being a dick all day, i’ll give you what you want. does that sound okay?” he brought a hand to your cheek, stroking it slowly.

you gulped quietly, nodding your head back at him.

“just- let me eat you out first. please?” he went to kiss your neck again, sucking down another bruise on your skin.

you nodded, trying really hard not to cry this time. he was so caring and sweet, even when you knew he wanted nothing more than to fuck you over the dressing room table.

he picked you up again, your legs wrapping around his hips as he carried you over to the dresser to prop you up.

once he set you down, you looked down at him as he started working you open once again, with his tongue this time. and god did he know how to use his mouth. you briefly locked eyes with him as he worked he licked a stripe up your pussy, occasionally adding a finger. your hand flew to his hair as he added two fingers and worked you open with his tongue. he was absolutely perfect in the dim glow of the dressing room.

“fuck mikey, i-i’m close.” you breathed heavily as he showed no signs of stopping.

“then come. come into my mouth baby, please. please i want you so bad.” he whined.

and just hearing his pleading, your hand gripped his hair tighter as you shook above him. he wasted no time undoing his belt and you couldn’t even register he had too, taken his jeans off as he pressed gentle kisses and lovebites up your thighs.

he grabbed a condom from his discarded jeans, quickly rolling it on and stroking himself a few times. he captured your lips in a kiss, brushing a stray strand of hair from your eyes.

“hey. you’re so beautiful.” he laughed

“yeah yeah,” you rolled your eyes playfully. “are you gonna fuck me now or what?”

“maybe if you’d stop being such a brat.” he was closer to your face now, slowly taking your features in.

“what, are you gonna make me beg again?” you scoffed, wrapping your arms around his neck.

“nope. just gonna fuck you until you cry baby.” and with that, he pushed into you, hard.

your breath stuttered as he continued to pound into you at an unforgiving pace, he was really serious about holding that promise, wasn’t he?

“fuck baby, you’re so tight, open your legs… wanna see you,” he grunted as he bit your shoulder lightly.

you moaned again, pushing him in further with your legs.

he didn’t slow down at all, fucking into you at a brutal pace. “tell me you’re mine. tell me you belong to me.”

“fuck, i’m yours mikey. all yours, please,” you whined, feeling yourself tighten around him.

“and who’s the only one that gets to see you like this?” he added, not faltering his pace as he continued to pound into you.

“you, you and no one else mikey-” you felt the tears that you held back earlier, threaten to fall again. you wanted to tell him so badly that you loved him, and you had secretly hoped he had felt the same way about you. sure, you were his during sex but the thought of being his all the time was making you cry.

“god, you’re so fucking pretty when you cry for me baby,” he wiped your tears gently with the back of his palm. “-m, really fucking close baby.” he added as he connected his lips to yours again.

“mikey please come-” you broke the kiss to say, letting more tears fall from your eyes.

“fuck!” he threw his head back as you felt him twitch inside of you. you came shortly after seeing the dark bruises you left on his neck.

after a few minutes of you both recollecting yourselves, mikey pulled out throwing the condom in the trash a few feet away. he slowly inched towards you again, pressing a gentle kiss to your lips.

“i’m sorry for being an asshole earlier, i just- sometimes i don’t know how to deal with my feelings and-” he blurted out.

“mikey,” you cut him off and said sternly.

“is this you scolding me or?” he started

“god,” you laughed at the absurdity of the situation, running your hand through his hair. “mikey, i like you. and i’m really tired of pretending that i don’t because it genuinely hurts me every time we hook up. i want you, i want to be with you..”

“fuck. i thought you would never say that to me. i thought that maybe if i was just a dick to you my feelings would go away but obviously that was terrible of me.” he caressed your cheek again, looking into your eyes.

“i love you mikey.” you said without thinking, your heart stinging after, scared he wouldn’t say it back.

“i love you too. i’m tired of sneaking around with you, i want to take you out and show you off, you know? i think i’ve been in love with you a little longer than i’d like to admit…” he smiled as he ran a hand through your hair. “i’m still gonna be mad at you for this, just so you know.” you smiled as you pulled him in for another kiss. he returned the kiss, sliding his hand down to your waist. and just like that, your doubts and worries washed away.

[dreamsofbroflovski]

Dude, I just— I made a Tumblr account to follow you JANDKSND and ask for a request 🤧🤧

Can we have some of Kyley-B x reader? 😵‍💫 I would like to read a cliché of the innocent girl and the bad boy who incites her to do illicit things (with smut, of course). 🙏🙏🙏🙏

Heeeeeyaaaaaa my first request! ❤️

I am so so so so sorry for taking so long to get to it. Really need to make my writing more speedy and efficient.

Hope you liked it, and once again, really damn sorry 😭😭😭

Also, a belated merry christmas/happy holidays to everyone!

Kyley-B x Reader - trinitrotoluene

Also available on ao3!

Summary: An innocent librarian's whole views on the world - as well as her guts - are rearranged when she takes into the equation South Park's resident New Jersey asshole. And she wouldn't have it any other way.

Warnings: Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content (everyone involved is above the age of consent), Penis In Vagina Sex, Vaginal Fingering, Semi-Public Sex, Doggy Style Position

A/N: Gods was this one hard. I never imagined writing Kyley-B would be this hard. Props to everyone who has managed thus far, because this guy wrestled against me in my mind for the whole 14 pages of the Google Docs and even now that I'm posting it I'm not sure I actually won.

I tried my hardest to put together what an adult version of Jersey Kyle would be if he really donned the mantle. Hope I did him justice.

The story of how my life changed forever was rooted in New Jersey, but happened nowhere near there.

When I applied to work at the South Park Public Library, I thought it would be an easy task. Library work in a small secluded town, in a day and age where people mostly forgot about physical books due to the convenience of Kindles or their own phones? How hard can it be? Turns out, very. The place greatly suffered from a lack of useful employees, so I ended up doing a lot of extra work that had nothing to do with what I was hired for, with no extra pay, when the salary was already not that stellar to begin with. Not a great headstart for a fresh-out-of-college English major such as myself, but it was this or the 7/11.

Days like that one kind of made the whole thing worth it, though. Summer weekends in the middle of July, when all the students were on vacation and people lacked the urge to read in favor of other activities, and the only people that would actually visit the library would be soft-spoken loners who just craved the social connection but at the same time didn’t want to chase it. In those days, I was able to just sit back on my chair at the reception counter and take full advantage of the amount of books around me, reading to my heart’s content for almost a full eight hours and getting paid for it.

Such a situation is how I found myself at that particular moment. Curled up as well as I could get in my tiny office chair, my shoes forgotten under the desk in favor of the comfort of being barefoot, yet another book in my hands that wasn’t part of my enormous ‘To Read’ list. It was all cruising up to be another quiet and peaceful day, just a few check outs and some small talk.

Except it wasn’t.

I heard the sizzling of a dynamite’s wick before seeing a full blown atomic bomb. Loud squeaky sounds of sneaker soles trudging across the hardwood, strings of profanities being spewed with each step, followed by the shocked gasps of some of the people seated nearby and their hurried movement as they got out of the way in every direction. Noise like this would usually have me kindly remind its emitter of the setting around them and beg for more silence, but as I raised my eyes from my book, I knew it would be of no use.

Already in front of the counter was one of the most obnoxious-looking men I had ever seen. His blazing curly red hair was slicked back with an obscene amount of gel on it, to the point where it made me wonder if it just started to stay that way after his showers. I couldn’t see him from the waist down, but he was wearing a loose fit wife beater, showing off the muscles of his arms in all their ‘glory’. A golden chain dangled around his neck, clearly fake, the paint already chipped in places where its links connected. His tanned skin already looked out of place in the cold town in the middle of the mountains, where its citizens were mostly pale due to never seeing enough sun to actually get a tan to begin with - but this man was just a few shades away from orange, painfully artificial, he’d stand out like a sore thumb no matter where he was.

“That’s right, you better fucking go, bitch!” The loud addition to my peaceful workplace called out angrily, looking over his shoulder, finishing up his threats on the last bypasser he could before turning his face forward again, which finally let me take a good look at his features. There I saw which had to be the only real thing about him - intense olive eyes that glinted with a fire unknown to me, pure passion and energy, the type that could either burn someone to the ground or keep them warm and safe in the winters. Right now, however, they could set the entire library ablaze by sheer feral glares alone.

I hurriedly scrambled to adjust my position in my seat and rested my book to the side of my computer. “Good afternoon and welcome to the South Park Public Library, restrooms are at the end of the first corridor to the left,” my explanation was kind and gentle, accompanied by a gesture of my hand in the general direction I spoke of.

“I don’t wanna know about no fuckin’ toilet,” the man spat, as if me merely opening my mouth to say something that was of no use to him was enough to make him angry beyond measure, “I’m here to return this.”

With an unneeded display of strength that made all the other items in the counter shake slightly, he slammed a book on it in front of me, his hand staying splayed on top of the cover, allowing me to see that his fingers were fully decked out in fake gold rings in the same fashion of his chain.

Even without seeing the full thing, I recognized that book immediately. My eyes widened. If I was to be honest, I didn’t even imagine the guy in front of me was capable of reading to begin with - and the book he brought was such difficult literature, even I struggled with it at first, so to imagine he deliberately checked that one out and allegedly read it to completion flabbergasted me.

I forced myself to blink and reel back from my shock before continuing the interaction. Get it together, I told myself mentally. My mother told me all the time to never judge a book by its cover - even if that defeated the whole purpose of book cover graphic designers to begin with -, and this was what I was doing right now; letting my prejudices get in the way of what could be a healthy interaction with a fellow bookworm.

Lightly, I placed my hands on the sides of the book and pulled it slowly towards me, letting it slide under his palm, which I avoided touching altogether lest it make him more angry. “Of course, sir,” I managed to assemble a gentle smile on my lips, trying my best to not let my previous thoughts show up on my face.

“Don’t call me sir, I’m not that old,” this complaint was slightly less persistent, but I was still not about to test his limits on it.

“Of course… Mister,” the word in that context sounded way too weird to me, but it was better than the two alternatives of either insisting on ‘sir’ or just not calling him by any title at all, “I’m just gonna need your library card, if you have it on you right now…”

His hand left the counter to retrieve something in his pocket, before swiftly passing to me a tiny rectangular piece of plastic - his library card, the old design of them at that, which meant he had it for quite a while now. My eyes narrowed as I scanned it, my brain multitasking with my fingers typing his card number on the database, and I found myself repeating the information out loud. “Alright, let’s see… Kyle Br-”

“Kyley-B,” his correction came harsh and immediate, stopping me from saying even one more letter of his government name, “And don’t you dare forget it.”

I really hadn’t. It wasn’t like I didn’t know his name, everyone knew it well - he was an infamous face in town. Originally from New Jersey and carrying with him every single terrible stereotype about the place, the man before me caused trouble wherever he went, having very little regard for anything that didn’t concern himself, and yet expecting everyone else to show him the respect he lacked for them. He had actually been in South Park longer than I did, but apparently what was said held true: you can’t take the Jersey out of someone.

“M-My apologies… Kyley-B,” I tried my best to abide by his request and use his nickname in a sentence no matter how ridiculous it sounded, while still typing on the computer to avoid enhancing his anger in any way, “It’s all set. Feel free to peruse the collection if you’d like to borrow something else.” Please don’t was the thought that came right after.

He nodded curtly, taking the card from me to put it back in his pocket, and I noticed his shoulders relaxing a little. Apparently, me being polite and understanding appeased him greatly, like he had understood that I wasn’t one of the assholes trying to get him pissed or something. For as long as I was respectful, I’d stay out of the path of destruction. I could swear I saw the intensity in his eyes shift a bit - but I avoided staring too long, both in fear of getting him angry again and in slight embarrassment at the thought that he might notice me doing that. “Thanks. I think I will.”

Leaning back in my chair and picking my book back up in my hands, I figured that was that. Kyley-B would go off somewhere looking for trouble and I’d be back to my silence and my reading. Yet I didn’t hear the same noises I had when he arrived; no cursing, no loud shoes, no nothing. When I raised my eyes again, he was still there - leaning towards me with his forearms on the counter and a curious expression on his face.

“Do you… Need any help?” I inquired, slowly placing the book on my lap and rolling the chair closer to the desk so he wouldn’t believe for a second that he didn’t have my attention.

A smirk curved his lips as he eyed me up and down. “Nah, just… Perusing.” 

Well, now that’s a word I would never hear out of the mouth of a Jersey guy.

“Okay…” My fingers nervously tapped the cover of my book. “If there’s anything I can do for you, then-”

“There is, actually,” his body swayed slightly as he shifted his weight on his feet, “Has to do with my phone. You can put your number in it.”

Another jolt of bewilderment crossed my features. Allowing myself to focus my eyes on his again, I then understood what it was I saw on them earlier. Attraction. Now that he wasn’t angry anymore, Kyley-B was allowing himself to see me as a woman instead of Personal Enemy Number Ten Thousand. And he made no attempt to hide that he liked what he saw. The blood ran to my cheeks and ears before I could compose myself, my body clearly not accustomed to such unabashed interest. “E-Excuse me?”

“Your number, baby,” he repeats as if it’s nothing, “Could say I’m tryna make a movie with you here, but you clearly rather have your erotica in book form.”

What kind of Jersey asshole even knows about the word ‘erotica’? “I-I don’t know what you’re talking about…”

A ring-adorned index finger pointed towards the book on my lap and I froze. I had deliberately chosen the version of this book - a rather obscure piece of erotic literature, the first of a series - that had a more passable cover, absolutely nothing in it that could give away its themes, in a way that they could only be known by someone who already knew the title. And there was no way Kyley did, right?

“I’ll tell you right now, stop at the first one. The sequels are garbage.” Kyley did. He shook his head with his own advice, like the memories of having to go through the continuations of that book brought stress back to his mind again.

My hands quickly grabbed the book and tried to hide it behind my computer monitor, away from his eyes, but the damage had been done. I tried to retort, but the words got stuck in my throat, coming out as gasps that enhanced further my petrified face, my wide eyes and the intensifying blush in my cheeks and ears. 

“Cat get ya tongue?” Kyley teased as if reading my mind, his upper body leaning over the counter so his pointing finger could brush softly against my cheek, “Don’t worry, your secret is safe with me. I’m no blabbermouth.”

Still I took a bit to relax and believe his words. This was a small town, gossip spread as easily as the snow fell, it would be hard to show my face anywhere without having jokes hurled towards me about being a ‘closeted freak’. Which was extremely far from the truth, to be honest - that genre of book was not amongst my most read, I was as vanilla as they came, it was literally an unfortunate circumstance that led to anyone finding out about this.

The fact that Kyley-B was so uncharacteristically decent and understanding about it too, despite the initial teasing when he was hitting on me, threw me off even more. He had no reason to help me, and he was notorious for being unhelpful, so this was odd behavior on his part. My mind raced with reasons as to why that would be, trying to make sense of the madness - maybe he had secrets of his own, or maybe he just understood how it was to be the subject of unsavory discussions everywhere he passed. Either way, I found myself thankful for his actions.

Eventually, I let out a deep sigh, my lungs almost hurting as I did. “Thank you… Kyley.” I murmured, nodding slowly, my eyes shining with the gratitude that I couldn’t express with words without sounding corny.

He brought his hand back to himself, and I looked at his face again, seeing the exact same intense expression as before. Maybe, in my slight delirium of trying to build up Kyley-B as an actual human being with thoughts and feelings instead of your stereotypical Jersey playboy, I had imagined it faltering.

“That’s something I like to hear,” the flirtatious tone of voice was back with a vengeance, “Now, about that phone number of yours...”

And just like that, I was avoiding his eyes once more, my hands drifting down to fidget with the hem of my skirt absentmindedly, making me look even more suspicious. “I… I don’t know if that would be appropriate.”

“We only have to get inappropriate if you want me to,” his smirk grew. His voice didn’t even drop in volume as he said this, like he was completely comfortable with talking to unknown women like that - which he probably was, “We can just go party, have a couple drinks, make some noise, shit, whatever it is you like.”

Whatever it was I liked did not involve any of the things he mentioned. “I… I’m afraid I might not be the ideal person for that.” As I tried to let him down easy, I felt a striking pain in my chest; like the act of refusing made me uncomfortable, like I somehow wanted to accept it, even though it didn’t belong to me at all. “But thank you for the offer.”

“‘Not ideal’? What the fuck is that about?” He retorted, and for a moment I thought I might’ve riled him up again - but, although he was still loud, he didn’t seem angrier. More so confused about what I said rather than the circumstances of it. “I’m inviting ya, ain’t I? How the fuck is that not ideal?”

“It’s not the invitation!” I was quick to respond, “It’s just I don’t think I’m the right kind of company for all that… I’m sure there’s better people in town who would love to go clubbing with you.”

“Well, I’m not inviting those other people, I’m inviting you!” It was clear the insistence would not wane anytime soon. He rubbed his eyes with his palms for a bit, his mind trying to come up with a solution, before taking a deep breath and looking at me again. “How about some coffee, or tea, then? You into that?”

My eyes widened in surprise and he probably knew he struck gold there. A coffee shop was much more up my alley, but never in a million years would I imagine the likes of Kyley-B in such an environment - somewhere with no alcohol, no loud music, and where fighting was not tolerated. “I… I am, yes.”

“Coffee it is, then,” his tone was every bit as comfortable as he was when he mentioned partying, “Just gotta avoid that one place near the movie theater. Tastes like shit and the owner is a piece of garbage.”

A small giggle left my mouth. I had been to that coffee shop and knew its owner personally, it wasn’t hard considering the town was pretty small. For once in his life, Kyley-B was right, even if I personally wouldn’t phrase it all like he did. The business was probably only kept standing due to the fact people were too used to it by now, but it was the one place where I wouldn’t mind seeing a Jersey-level rage outburst take place. 

My reaction was stifled by a glare Kyley shot at me, his eyebrows furrowing as he tried to understand if I was laughing at him or with him. “I’m sorry! It’s just… I don’t like that place either.” I admitted, immediately scanning the library hall with wide eyes, trying to see if there was anyone around that could’ve heard me say that. 

His expression relaxed and he nodded. “You ain’t gotta be so shy, you know,” he commented, his tone slightly more serious, “If you have your truth, then you gotta just say it. It’s how we do it in Jersey, and it works!”

It didn’t really work, but I wasn’t about to question him, not when the structure of his message was in the right place. My whole existence happened inside strict lines ever since I was a kid, I was one to keep my opinions to myself and rein in my actions to keep myself palatable to the people around me. This lifestyle had me sheltered to a fault, but until that moment I was fine with it; going through life avoiding trouble kept me healthy and safe, and I didn’t want to jeopardize that. However, Kyley-B’s advice still held some sort of water, and I found myself willing to hear more, even though it came from such an unreliable narrator.

“I know, I know… I just didn’t want anyone to hear me say that. It feels weird.” I shrugged.

“Well, maybe if that place wasn’t so trashy, you wouldn’t have to complain about it, it’s exactly what I am saying!” He retorted, the serious edge in his voice gone and replaced by the usual annoyance. “And I keep telling people that, but they won’t listen!”

With every passing millisecond, Kyley-B managed to confuse me more. While a part of me was stuck on the still present image of the annoying jerk who only knows how to pick fights and be rude to others, another part slowly took form; one that was intrigued about that man, knowing that although he could be a little too much, he was still completely true to himself, which is more than what can be said about a lot of the people around me. Right now, he carried his actions like a motorcycle zig-zagging through the traffic of my mind. Its destination? The inside of my skirt. 

“I’ll keep that in mind… Thank you.”

Kyley-B nodded with a smirk, content that I wasn’t disputing him like people usually seemed to do. Though something told me that even if I did, I still wouldn’t be subjected to the same type of verbal abuse others would if they tried that. “Now, back to that coffee…” 

I then managed to notice that we weren’t alone in our conversation anymore when a hand sneaked from behind the Jersey man, tapping his shoulder a bit. Immediately my brain was blaring sirens, the word ‘DANGER’ being transmitted by every one of my neurons. “Excuse me, sir?” Another male voice called out, well-mannered enough, yet still firm.

Kyley-B immediately turned to face the unknown third party, his eyebrows furrowing and whole expression hardening into anger. “What the fuck do you want? Can’t you see I’m in the middle of something here?”

Apparently the stranger had very little regard for his life, because he didn’t back out from the rude display, their tone instead becoming louder and more insistent in retaliation. “Well, your ‘something’ needs to happen somewhere else, because I have to check out this book and this is the only counter available!” He lifted his hand to show Kyley the book he was holding, as if that would drill the information into his skull.

All it did was make him more angry. He quickly snatched the book from the client’s hand, throwing it with such force it managed to hit the wall farthest from us, before stepping closer to the stranger and crossing his arms in front of his chest. “What the fuck did you just say to me?”

The client was stunned for a second, both from his book being thrown and from the sudden inferred physical threat. “What the fuck is wrong with you, dude?” Through his shock he still managed to spit back, trying his best to mirror Kyley’s body language and tone; but it’s hard to be as violent as a guy from Jersey. “Can’t you see you’re fucking wrong? Back off!”

“No, you back off!” Kyley used both his hands to push his adversary away - the other guy stumbled backwards a few feet, but luckily didn’t fall. However, the Jersey man was quick to breach the freshly created distance with hard steps. “I’ll fucking teach garbage like you not to mess with me!”

Right in front of the stranger again, Kyley cracked his knuckles and squared his shoulders. The other guy straightened his posture and balled both fists at his sides, prepared to strike the Jersey threat right back if it came to that.

Mustering the small courage I had in me and having to force my fear-frozen legs to move, I ran from behind the counter towards the two men, putting my hands on their shoulders and praying to all deities that my presence would make them back off instead of turning me into a casualty of the upcoming brawl. “G-Gentlemen, please, don’t…” My voice was thin and desperate, reflecting the state of my mind as I tried to diffuse this situation to the best of my abilities, “There’s no need for any of this! Please, calm down!”

Luckily, they heard me well enough, and my guess is having to acknowledge the presence of a woman put a damper, however small, in their urge to clash. For a moment, our little group was completely silent except for the heavy breathing noises coming from the three of us - the two men furious like bulls about to strike, and me in terrified anxiety over the situation. They maintained a quiet staredown for what felt like forever, and I knew that if they were telepaths, the offenses they’d be mentally hurling at each other would contain curse words that could make a sailor blush. Then Kyley-B did something I didn’t even think he could physically do - he took a step back from a fight.

“Screw this noise,” he huffed, before turning his face to me again and making a gesture with his arm that beckoned me to accompany him somewhere, “Come on, can’t fucking talk in here without a shithead butting in.”

“W-What? Come on where?” My hands gestured desperately towards both my counter and the client in front of Kyley, who the redhead was now clearly ignoring as if he was nothing more than a decorative piece of the library, much to the other’s confusion, “I mean, I’m working right now!”

Before I could stop him, he walked back to the reception and reached over to the space of my desk, his hand clumsily scattering a bunch of the items on it before he could retrieve what he wanted - a small desk sign that just said ‘Be Back Soon’. He placed it firmly on top of the counter, the text facing him. “There. Now you ain’t.”

Kyley-B didn’t even allow me to put my shoes back on before he grabbed me by the wrist and started taking me away from the reception. I sent the other client one last apologetic look over my shoulder as Kyley dragged me, his sneakers louder than ever as he brought a barefooted me all the way to the farthest hallways of the library, down the always empty and slightly dusty Latin Literature section. His hand only loosened its hold when we stopped walking completely. Place was empty except for me, him and one of the trustworthy metal library carts, containing an assortment of books that needed to be delivered back into their proper shelves.

When he put both his hands in his pockets, I realized that now, away from the reception counter, I could see the lower half of his body. Even though he wore a belt, his acid wash denim jeans still hung a bit low on his hips - when his shirt shifted slightly, I could see the top of his boxers’ waistband peeking out. A look that normally would have given me pause when it came to a guy, but at that moment, what paused was my gaze, that I had to forcefully tear away from the region as I imagined what he looked like minus the outfit.

“Fucking finally. Can’t stand those hicks sticking their nose in business that ain’t theirs.” He spat, looking over his shoulder a bit towards the direction from which we came, like he was still trying to send his message to the other man who couldn’t even hear him anymore. 

“I guess...” I didn’t really want to continue dwelling on what just transpired; Kyley’s anger was still fresh - was it ever not? - and the last thing I wanted was for him to decide to head back and finally start what he was about to before I intervened. Besides, from our small interaction in the reception desk, I had learnt that he had a ‘not complete jerk’ side to him that was much more tolerable to be around.

“I swear, people in this town stress me the fuck out. Gahbage, all of them.“ He shook his head and with that, finally turned his face back to me - his expression was still intense, but at least he wasn’t completely pissed off anymore, and a hint of that cocky flirtatious grin had returned to his lips. “Well, not all. But enough about that bullshit. What do they call you around these parts?”

The way he asked for my name sounded weird to me, but I guess that’s the type of sentence someone’s got to use when their name is ‘Kyley-B’ and they refuse to be referred to as anything else. “I’m Y/N.”

‘Y/N, huh? That’s hot.”

Of all the adjectives he could have chosen, he went for the one I had never seen used before to describe a name, especially mine. “What do you mean by that?”

Kyley frowned a bit in confusion. “I mean it’s hot, what of it?” The answer came with a dismissive shrug, as if it was obvious and I was dumb for even having something to question. “Your name is hot, you’re hot, there’s not much else to say.”

My mouth spoke before my mind could catch the words this time. “Well, that’s a surprise.”

His frown intensified and I put my hands over my lips, the mistake getting to me. “And what do you mean by that?”

“Well, it’s just, I’ve seen you around,” my brain cells worked themselves into overdrive trying to find a way to say it that didn’t sound accusatory, “With some girls, and…”

Lively laughter that almost seemed to rumble the books on the nearby shelves interrupted my train of thought. “Oh, so that’s what this is about?” Kyley ran his fingers through his own hair - it almost didn’t even move due to the sheer amount of hair gel. “Don’t ya worry about it, baby. I like the covered up look too. You’re really pretty.” 

He eyed me up and down slowly, still grinning, as if he truly appreciated what he saw. I looked down at myself as well, taking in my outfit - a loose-fitting blouse, a skirt that ended just barely above my knees, my bare feet that were earlier covered by a pair of flats. Miles away from the style of the women that I’d seen Kyley-B have in his arms - women who wore clothes with much less fabric, shoes with much higher heels, makeup with much more vibrant colors. Women that dressed like they wanted the attention, in the way that Kyley’s personality denounced the same thing.

Yet that Jersey man still looked at me like he wanted me in a much worse way than he’d want any of those girls, beyond just flirting for the hell of it or so he could add another number to his body count. And I was eating it up despite myself - having the undivided attention of Kyley-B in a somewhat private setting like this, instead of fighting other women for it at a club or something, was deliciously feeding into my ego, and it took everything in my mind for me to remind myself that this was my job and I was working and there is no way anything can happen and oh my lord his eyes are so gorgeous.

My eyes drifted to the floor, suddenly very interested in the nail polish on my toes and the small creases on Kyley’s Jordans. “Thank you…”

 “See? This is what I’m talking about.” One of his hands made its way to my chin, tilting it upwards just enough to bring my attention towards his face again.“That’s the fourth time you’ve thanked me now. Makes me wanna actually give you something to be thankful for.”

Now forced to look at him - honestly, I don’t know how ‘forced’ I really was, considering I made no attempt to dodge my head away from his hold -, the fire reddening my face was on full display for Kyley, a sight that made his smirk widen.

“There’s no need for that,” I murmured, though the little vain monster in my heart yearned for him to continue talking about me like that, to continue making me feel actually interesting, “It’s just… who I am.”

He stepped closer, keeping his eyes on mine. “Who you are? I wanna know all about that… Inside and out.”

My nervous hard swallow was audible. I was sure I could boil a kettle using only the heat radiating from me at that moment. His voice was dripping with desire; the double entendre almost making the air around us crackle with how charged it was. Despite my whole body presenting all my real feelings, my personality still clamored for some semblance of that decorum that Kyley-B was trying to make slip away. "I don’t know… I don’t think we should…”

“Why not?” This time, there was no anger in his voice as he questioned me; its volume had dropped lower, matching the ‘private’ nature of the conversation. “I’m into it, you’re into it, I don’t see the issue.”

I could’ve denied, said he understood everything wrong and I was just being polite, thanked him for his time and left that place with my decency intact. But I was always a very bad liar, and there was no denying the way my heart beated like a drum with his proximity, how my face got beet red just from our simple conversations, or the way I eagerly paid attention to every word that came out of his mouth.

Why was I feeling so drawn to his offer anyway? Was it the forbidden aspect of it all, the knowledge that I’d be going wild and letting loose while still maintaining the looks of a productive member of society? Did I internally enjoy the attention of someone who usually went for women that had nothing to do with me in either appearance or personality? Was the savior complex acting up again, the ‘I can change him’ mentality? All of the above would lead to the same outcome.

Another thing that really led me towards the path of surrendering to Kyley was the fact that, during all of this, he still hadn’t touched me in any way that was inherently sexual, despite all of his verbal advances. He was still waiting for my consent, exhibiting atypical patience, which made me believe he would’ve been okay even if I legitimately rejected him - the thing he couldn’t take was me hiding myself from the both of us, my attempts at masking my interest, and that’s why he was still pressing the issue. He wanted to take me, but he also had to make sure I wanted to be taken.

“Come on, baby… Talk to me…” His voice dropped even lower as he took the final step towards me, our bodies inches from each other now, “Wanna know what’s going on in that pretty little mind…”

The deep shuddering breath I took brought to me the smells of old books and some very strong cologne, the latter of which I could easily imagine on my pillow. “Need you…”

His hands grabbed both sides of my face and he pulled me into a fierce kiss, groaning into my mouth once we collided. His lips were surprisingly soft, likely due to a religious application of chapstick, but the kiss as a whole was still rough in a figurative sense; tough, possessive, everything that man was now being transferred to me through the clashing of our mouths, basically demanding me to respond in kind.

Which was something I didn’t even know I could do. I wasn’t necessarily a virgin, but that doesn’t mean I was all that seasoned, either. My years in university weren’t necessarily the great breeding ground for sexual experience that they seemed to be for everyone else - turns out all the other English majors were more interested in reading about steamy affection and whirlwind romances rather than actually living them. 

So that moment with Kyley-B, in the back of my workplace, was the first moment of my life I actually felt desired - like my whole presence did something for the man in front of me, something he couldn’t ignore. And I found myself in equal measure wanting him as well, entranced by his untamed nature, like a tiny wild side of me I didn’t even know existed was slowly coming to life now that he was close enough.

We needed to have each other. So, letting my last sliver of rational thought become dust and settle on the books in the shelves around us, I kissed him back, my hands resting on his shoulders and gently bringing him even closer. Kyley’s hands tightened around my waist and he pushed me backwards until I felt my ass lightly hit the library cart, hearing the faint squeak of the wheels as they moved a bit from the slight impact. His tongue led mine in a sensual dance, one that I initially didn’t know the moves to, but that quickly became second nature under his expert tutoring. His hips pressed against me and I was a bit glad to notice he was clearly affected too, seeking whatever friction he could get by grinding his bulge against my lower abdomen. 

Both of us had our chests heaving heavily when we pulled back in need of air, and that’s when I realized my whole body was trembling with a mix of nerves and anticipation. “Please…” was all I could manage to say, and I didn’t even know what I was begging for; for Kyley-B to calm down, to keep going, to do more, to bring me somewhere else or take me right there. Just whatever it was that would calm down the heat on my lower abdomen, since I knew only he could take care of that now.

“You really know your magic words, what a good girl,” Kyley murmured with his mouth still inches from mine, his words teasing, but with an undertone of praise. One of his hands slowly drifted down from my waist, pulling up the fabric of my skirt a bit just so it could slide under, a feather-light touch making its way towards my inner thighs until it settled right over my clothed pussy - the material already thoroughly damp from just his previous contact.

Two of his fingers traced my slit over my panties before they stopped right on top of my clit, applying slight pressure to it before rubbing tight firm circles over it, the fabric of my underwear providing even more friction against my extra sensitive bundle of nerves. My teeth dug into my lower lip as I stifled my whimpers, squirming quietly under Kyley’s teasing moves.

“You’re real wet, ya know that?” He moved his head so that he could whisper in my ear, his teeth grazing my earlobe. The tip of his tongue then slowly traced the outline of my ear, a seductive gesture that sent goosebumps through my whole body. “Love to see it. Basically dripping for me.”

His digits moved back lower between my thighs, tracing me yet again, but the pressure on my clit wasn’t missed for long, as his palm was now flat against it, applying a bit of pressure and moving just barely to still keep me sensitive. He pushed my very damp panties to the side, a finger now circling my entrance, the small wet sounds it made almost deafening to me, proving Kyley’s previous claim without a doubt.

When he pushed his index in, I grabbed hard on the library cart handle, making it rattle a bit with the sudden movement. My breath hitched with the sudden intrusion, and Kyley chuckled in satisfaction, his face lowering to my neck. The pleasurable pain of the bites he started to place on the sensitive skin came in tandem with his middle finger also plunging inside of me, all the way to the last knuckle.

Kyley-B wasted no time before curling his fingers in a come hither motion, pumping them in and out with a type of strength that made my whole body shake with each push inward. My hips moved towards his palm in sync with his ministrations, subconsciously trying to get extra friction on my clit. 

Despite never having seen me before, it was like he had a complete map of my body in his mind. He knew exactly what to do at all times to make me feel good, and handled my body with a type of care that I would never expect from the likes of him. My worries about his nature or his intentions were gone with the wind; he could be whoever he wanted, as long as he’d continue laying his passion on all the neglected erotic parts of both my body and spirit. Soon my nails started making scraping noises against the metal of the handle, like I wasn’t just holding on to it, but also to the last little bit of my sanity before Kyley-B would kick me right into the deepest ends of pleasure.

Then suddenly, it stopped. His fingers withdrew from me and he took them to his mouth, cleaning my whole arousal out of those digits as he sucked on them. Not saying a word, he then used both of his hands to hike up my skirt completely so that it would be bunched up on my waist, immediately pressing his body against me again while his fingers drifted to the side of my panties. With a fierce tug that would’ve made me lose balance if not for his presence, he tore the damp fabric clean off, dropping it on the floor near our feet.

“What… Why did you…” I stuttered a bit as I looked up at him with my mouth hanging slightly open, looking every bit needy and desperate for him, absolutely pathetic in my yearning for the touch of that man.

His response came as a series of quick yet sensual kisses, the last one prolonged by the soft pulling of my bottom lip between his teeth. “Think we’re both gonna like it a lot more if you cum on my cock, baby,” he cooed, “And ya want it too, right? Don’t think you’d want to come all the way here just to get two fingers in.”

My head moved in a meek nod. My brain would’ve normally scolded me for agreeing so easily to words like these, so overtly sexually charged, but I couldn’t exactly lie to Kyley, either. I wanted him to fill me up. Taking in my agreement, he pulled back just a bit so he could make quick work of the belt and buttons in his jeans and pulled both them and his boxers slightly down, just enough for his cock to spring free. 

A lot of times, when people see feisty men with boisterous personalities, they like to say that those men are compensating for a lack of something. Kyley-B absolutely was not. He had the inches and the girth to back up every single aggressive display and explicit word that left his mouth. I pressed my thighs together, both in a gesture of fear for my poor pussy and also as a way to create some sort of pressure in the area that could calm me down until he would finally give it all to me.

My light squirming did not go unnoticed by his ever observant olive eyes. For all his violent behavior, he was still a really sharp individual. “You can take it,” he stated in a way that left no room for questioning, “I’ll make sure of it.”

Kyley took my lips back in his as his hands then moved from my waist to my ass, the unfamiliar sensation making me gasp against his mouth. He kneaded the soft flesh a bit, feeling it around. Then, without warning, both his hands delivered hard smacks to each side of my bottom, and I broke the kiss with a loud high-pitched yelp - the sounds almost echoed in the quiet library. He immediately started rubbing circles with his palms on the areas he slapped, as if trying to soothe them, contented groans rumbling in his chest. His next sentence came as an order. “Turn around. Need to feel this ass on me.”

I spun 180 degrees on my feet without a second thought and he pushed my back unceremoniously, making me bend over the library cart in front of me before shoving my head down towards it so that my back would be even lower and my ass would be in a more prominent position. My face landed on its side on one of the books that I was supposed to put back in place - Don Quixote. I had the feeling that by the end of my encounter with Kyley-B I too would be crazy enough to fight windmills.

I could only hear the noises his shoes made as he settled properly behind me, the hand he had used to shove me now placed at my back, putting slight pressure to keep me bent. He held his cock with the other one, giving a few light taps with it on my ass, and I just knew his gaze was burning into me as he watched the soft flesh jiggle a bit. When he positioned himself to start dragging the head across my slit, gathering up my already plentiful arousal and spreading it around even more, I whined and bucked back a little with my hips, the library cart under me rolling a bit as well. 

Immediately the hand that had been resting on my back moved to my ass and grabbed it fiercely. “Damn desperate for my cock, are ya, baby?” I could almost hear the smirk in his lips as he said those words, “Don’t worry, Imma give it to ya… And you ain’t even gonna need to thank me for it…”

Fortunately Kyley-B did not make me wait much longer after that. He was all about that instant gratification, and my submissive behaviour fed right into it. He traced my slit a few more times with the tip of his cock before pushing it fully inside of me in one swift motion, taking advantage of my wetness buildup. 

Another yelp from deep within my throat, this time accompanied by a deep grunt from Kyley-B’s. Both his hands grabbed my hips with such ferocity it felt like he was trying to get his fingers to break through my skin - but he’d have to settle for them just leaving a couple bruises. The stinging sensation deep in my walls as they stretched around his cock was like nothing I had ever felt before; worse than it felt when I lost my virginity, yet it was better, as in, actually good. I took a deep breath, hoping the air coming inside my lungs might help ease the burning somehow.

“Fuck, you’re so fuckin’ tight,” Kyley-B grunted behind me, his tone of voice faltering for a moment, becoming less brutish than usual - he was lost in the feeling of being inside me just as much as I was on the feeling of taking him. “Gonna end up ruining ya… If I’m not careful…”

He already had.

His grip steadied on my hips as he pulled away from me, before slamming all the way back in, giving me no time to calm down as he quickly settled into a steady pace, each thrust burying his cock to the hilt inside of my cunt. He was so big I could feel his tip hitting my cervix, constant jolts of pain coursing through my lower abdomen with each hit - yet I didn’t feel any urge to bring myself away from it or make it stop. It was the best pain I had ever felt in my life, which is a sentence I never thought I’d put together. 

Before I knew it I was letting out loud pleasure whines, my perception of the environment around me slowly being lost. Kyley still seemed to maintain his for a bit, though - to stifle my noises, he quickly shoved his index and middle finger inside of my mouth, almost all the way to the third knuckle. As if on cue, I started sucking on those digits and swirling my tongue around them like it was second nature.

“Fuck, girl,” he groaned with a husky voice, “If ya pussy wasn’t this fuckin’ good I’d be using my cock on this great tongue ya got instead.”

His other hand grabbed a fistful of my hair and pulled it with reasonable strength, making me gasp and bringing my head up - my mouth opened wider and I could now taste the brass of his fake rings on my tongue as he pushed his fingers all the way inside, having the surprising care of positioning them in such a way that they wouldn’t make me gag, while I continued to work on them.

He didn’t keep my noises muffled like this for long. Soon he seemed to realize it was of no use and we were already loud anyway; so he let go of my hair and my face immediately fell forward, his fingers leaving my mouth with a wet noise and slight pain to me as his rings clumsily hit my teeth from the sudden movement. His hands slapped both sides of my ass again and I yelled with full force of my lungs - now that I was free to make noise, he seemed interested in testing my ability of it, and I could swear the squelching noises my pussy made with each of his thrusts became louder as he sped up a bit.

With each potent snap of his hips against my ass, my whole body would jerk forward and cause the library cart to hit the tall wooden bookshelf right in front of me, shaking the whole thing up and making it bang against the wall behind it. Heavy hardcover books rained from the shelves, hitting the parquet floor with loud thuds.

Completely immersed in the pleasure the Jersey man was giving me, I failed to notice the danger I was in, of a book striking my head and knocking me out cold. I only realized that situation when all of a sudden Kyley-B had the whole weight of his upper body against my back, his harsh breathing on my neck sending shivers down my spine while his arm moved at the speed of light to backhand a falling book out of its path towards our bodies, sending it flying a few feet away like it was nothing. He hissed between his teeth, likely from the pain of the smack, but didn’t voice any complaints besides that, his pounding against me not faltering for even a second.

I adored the new sensation. Though I was almost fully trapped against the library cart, him leaning on top of me like this was strangely comforting, seeing all of that oppressive strength being used for my protection. Kyley-B clearly took care of what was his, and at that moment, that’s exactly what I was.

Best as I could, I sneaked one of my arms over my shoulder, my hand clumsily grabbing a fistful of his gelled up hair. He grunted roughly against my neck, apparently not used to being touched like that - maybe it was usually the other way around - but making no move to stop my awkward attempt at a caress either. His thrusts slowed a bit as he stayed like this for a moment or two, before he straightened his posture back up with his chest away from my back and gave my ass another slap, picking up speed again - maybe that was his way of taking for himself the smallest bit of control over the situation I held for a bit. 

Not that I minded. Him taking charge was all that I wanted at that moment. Not a single useful thought graced my brain while he fucked me senseless, all of my neurons hyper-aware of how his cock felt when it pushed against the most sensitive spots inside of me and not much else. Everything was Kyley-B, the world around us irrelevant, merely a void environment that could absorb all of my moans and screams of pleasure, as well as the squelching and slapping noises of his thrusts, with no repercussion. Even the swear words he grunted every so often now sounded like music to me; because it came from a place of intense pleasure, which I was giving him, so he could curse as much as he wanted near me as long as he’d do it in that lascivious tone.

Kyley’s thrusts became even quicker and more erratic, as if he couldn’t bear to have a single inch of himself not buried inside of me for any amount of time. He bullied my walls and my cervix with wild abandon, and I felt myself tensing up under his chest, my toes curling against the hardwood floor as my body braced for the impact of the release that his cock was about to give to me. 

He noticed the physical aspects of my buildup and a hoarse chuckle cut through the sounds of his hips slapping against me. “Gonna cum for me now, are ya, babe?” He murmured huskily, giving the lightest of taps to my ass, an action that felt weirdly reassuring. “Told ya it was gonna be better with my cock… Go on, let me see ya…”

My eyes rolled almost to the back of my head and I let out a cry that made my whole throat quiver as the most intense orgasm of my life crashed on me like a tsunami, my spine arching and making my upper body press even more against the cart under me. While I whimpered and trembled through the ripples of pleasure in my system, Kyley-B grabbed my hair again, pulling my head back some more as he used the newfound reins to jackhammer into me with my cunt clamping fiercely against his cock, trying to make it a permanent attachment to my body - a very smart decision on its part, really.

Despite riding my climax out to the fullest, I did not get any time to catch my breath - Kyley-B’s attack on my walls had already started to cross the line into overstimulation, making me whimper from the continuing massage on the extra sensitive region, before he suddenly withdrew from me. Although I already had way too much everything considered, that action surprisingly made me legitimately angry for half a second - I missed him inside of me. His breathing shook and faltered while thick jets spilled over my ass and lower back, his seed warm against my skin.

As he came down from his high and his breathing became more steady, I heard him reach inside of his pocket again, then felt the slightly rough sensation of lace being rubbed against me - he was cleaning up his release with the very same panties he tore away. Seemed thorough about it, too, as he took his time and by the end of it I didn’t feel sticky anymore. Yet, the knowledge of what we did had painted my body forever, the warm sensation still very much psychologically present, even if I was physically ‘clean’.

I looked over my shoulder just in time to see him stuff the panties in his pocket. The normal confusion I’d exhibit if seeing such an act did not grace my features, either because I was too fucked out to care or because I actually liked it.

He tucked his softening cock back inside of his boxers and closed the buttons and belt on his jeans before leaning towards me again, this time to put his nose to the side of my neck, inhaling my scent sharply while his arms wrapped around my waist.

”Did so fucking well for me, baby. You were so damn good.” Kyley-B whispered against my skin, his voice once more taking that less rowdy tone I heard earlier. Hearing it again, in a full sentence this time, sent shivers down my spine - different shivers from the ones that had coursed through my body earlier. Like I could catch a glimpse of the man behind the fake tan. He made sure to leave one tiny nip at my skin before pressing a kiss right on top of that region - a surprisingly soft kiss, like he was now trying to be careful with me.

He stayed like this for a little more before straightening up again and letting go of my body, giving my ass one last playful slap, chuckling as he watched it jiggle. “You’re the real deal, Y/N,” the Jersey playboy voice was back at full force, “Let’s go out sometime. I’ll call you.”

Which was a weird thing to say, considering I hadn’t given him my number at all, but for some reason I just knew that was the least of his problems. He knew where I worked. He’d find a way, and I’d give him as much direction as I could for that.

As soon as I couldn’t hear his footsteps anymore, my knees gave in, and I fell right on them, letting the library cart hit the now much less packed bookcase a final time. My hands clung to the side of it with what little strength I had in my body, that still felt like it was made of jelly. I could’ve fallen asleep right then and there, the exhaustion from the unfamiliar ‘exercise’ getting to me. Dozens of books laid around me on the floor, waiting to be put back in their places, but I decided to just make that a problem for future me, instead choosing to let my muscles catch a break.

When I finally managed to pull myself together enough to return, alone, to the reception desk, I realized I was in deep shit. Every single set of eyes in the location turned to me, wide and horrified; apparently, the whole time I was with Kyley-B back there, my clients at the library were frozen in place listening to the whole thing. I tried to avoid my shame by looking elsewhere, but then my eyes rested on a decorative piece of mirrored glass at the wall; I could now see myself clearly. My hair was messed up beyond belief from all of Kyley-B’s pulling, my whole makeup was smudged - with special attention to the huge pink blur of lipstick around my very kiss-swollen lips -, my shirt was creased everywhere. Not to mention that now my underwear was hanging out in a New Jersey man’s pocket, leaving me totally commando. And I had a few more hours of my shift ahead of me.

It didn’t affect me as much as it should.

༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚𓆩♡𓆪༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚

Surprisingly enough, I did not get fired from my job after that. My guess was they knew they couldn’t find anyone else who could put up with the extra work that had nothing to do with my appointed position, not for the money I was paid. So I got to stay.

What did happen was the influx of people at the library augmented significantly. This did not mean a proportional increase in the number of books checked out, however - it just meant way too many people were suddenly interested in Latin Literature, and my workplace became a lot noisier.

Dividers by @cafekitsune

[flippinpancakes64]

Can you write about Bella loving horror movies, but the Cullens don't have a good tolerance to horror?

When Tastes Differ

I had such a hard time coming up with a name for this so… don’t be too harsh

Also sorry I haven’t uploaded in forever, it’s mid-semester exam season and it’s been kicking my butt

And we’re not gonna talk about how this has been sitting in my drafts for like half a year

Anyways thank you for requesting and I hope you enjoy!

Even before being turned, Bella always had a thing for horror movies

When she met Edward, she didn’t really have much time to watch them

Being obsessed with someone tends to take up a lot of your free time

But now that she’s a vampire and Renesmee is grown up, she has more ‘me’ time

Edward:

Tonight is date night, and Bella had asked if she could pick the movie

He said yes of course

But he’s shocked when she puts on an old slasher film that he remembers premiering in theaters

“Bella… what is this?”

“My favorite movie duh.”

“Eugh.”

He’s not a fan of all of the fake blood and guts

He’s a dark and brooding vampire

He has the whole emo ‘my life is darkness why would I want to watch more darkness’ thing going on

Don’t get me wrong though, he does still sit and watch them with her

He just wouldn’t ever choose it on his own

And he makes fun of them the whole time

Alice:

She’s been in the fashion world a long time

I would bet good money that she’s worked on a movie set before

So when she walks into a room and sees Bella watching a horror movie she’s just like ‘omg I was a costume designer for this one’

But she doesn’t really care about blood and guts

They’re not her favorite movies, but she’ll watch them

She loves Bella so whatever she wants to do, she’s happy to do it

She does make a lot of comments about the makeup and hair though

“That girl’s been running from the killer for like an hour now how is her hair still bouncy?”

Jasper:

He doesn’t really… care

He strikes me as the type who can sit and watch anything on the TV and not care at all

So if he’s in the living room and Bella asks if she can put on a movie he doesn’t care

He’s also quiet

Doesn’t complain, doesn’t say he likes it, nothing

He doesn’t laugh if there’s funny parts, doesn’t jump if there’s a Jumpscare

He’s like a statue

But hey at least he doesn’t disturb anyone

Rosalie:

Ok so

She loves horror movies

They’re so fun

But she can’t let Bella know that

They still have that little rivalry going on

So every time Bella puts on a horror movie, Rosalie makes a point of walking in and being like

“I can’t believe you watch that kind of stuff. It’s so gross.”

Of course, Edward told her the truth about what Rosalie’s doing

So she makes a point of putting on all of the newest ones that Rosalie hasn’t had a chance to watch yet

And if Rose happens to stand around at the back of the room silently watching the movie where she think Bella can’t see…

That’s no one’s business but her’s

Emmett:

He will never ever admit it

But this man is a big scaredy cat when it comes to horror movies

No one can explain it

But this big, scary man absolutely cowers at the thought of Chucky

So he’s not too happy to say the least when Bella starts watching horror movies all over the house

He plays the role of being super nonchalant

“Dude, turn that off.”

“Why? Are you scared?”

“What? No…”

No one’s convinced

Bella’s made it her personal mission to catch him as many times as she can

He’s almost home from the store? Time to put on a good old fashioned horror movie

He’s returning from a hunt? Time for Chucky

He wants to watch the game on the big TV? Okay, but Bella needs to finish the Shining first

Esme:

She’s also not a big fan of horror movies

But I feel like she’s way more scared of paranormal horror

Anything with ghosts terrifies her

After all, if vampires and werewolves are real, who’s to say demons and ghosts aren’t?

So if Bella’s watching a regular old slasher film, she’ll complain but hang out anyway

Now if she’s watching something like Lights Out or the Grudge…

Esme suddenly needs to go on a shopping trip

Carlisle:

He thinks they’re fun

He deals with blood and guts all day, and he’s endlessly amused by the fake stuff that movie producers make

Loves pointing out all the wrong parts

“Blood is not nearly that viscous, unless they had *insert medical condition here*”

I think Bella would appreciate the lessons here and there though

Now after a while, it does get a little annoying

But that’s her father in law and I feel like Bella would probably rather shoot her own foot than disrespect him in any way

[66sharkteeth]

OH MAN LET'S GET BACK INTO WEEKLY THOUGHTS, SHALL WE? I got told I gotta up my social media game for work so gonna be attempting to breathe some more life into these places.

Anyway... Weekly thoughts, ep 198!

Hey have you guys realized yet that my favorite genre of horror is body horror? I especially love body horror that manages to be unsettling or disturbing without being gory. And yeah, I'm sure this isn't that bad to a lot of people since there's absolutely no blood or guts, but I'm delighted that I see a handful of people saying it kind of fucked them up to see Jericho in this condition.

Also appreciating people acknowledging that while this backstory doesn't justify everything he did, it definitely explains it. I've talked about this a bit in the CoB discord server, but I think everything that happened at home with his brother did traumatize him and dude definitely needs therapy for it, but the lab is what broke him and made him a villain.

Now as for Claude... My precious stupid bird whom I love writing. Hm. I think one thing I do wanna clarify is like... when Jericho told him to become a blank, it wasn't an order like a lot of people seem to think it was. I think it's important to remember that the line before that (in a previous episode) was "What can I do to make you trust me?" so when Jericho said "become a blank" it was more like... "lol idk become a blank ig" with the expectation that it'd never happen. Kinda like telling someone "idk, give me a million dollars" when they ask "how can I help?" Jericho definitely didn't realize the power he had over Claude at that point (nor how unwell Claude was mentally).

Another thing I'd like to point out that I don't think anyone picked up on is the difference between an earlier Claude backstory ep and this one.

Ep 140:

Vs. Now:

He finally found the ONE person he cares about and he can't return it as long as he's human. Given that, everything he did wasn't a very hard decision for him.

[trialbywombaat]

👨‍🏫 👨‍🏫 👨‍🏫 👨‍🏫 👨‍🏫 👨‍🏫 👨‍🏫 👨‍🏫 👨‍🏫 👨‍🏫 👨‍🏫 👨‍🏫 👨‍🏫 👨‍🏫 👨‍🏫 👨‍🏫 👨‍🏫 👨‍🏫 👨‍🏫 👨‍🏫 👨‍🏫 👨‍🏫 👨‍🏫 👨‍🏫 👨‍🏫 👨‍🏫 👨‍🏫 👨‍🏫 👨‍🏫 👨‍🏫 👨‍🏫 👨‍🏫 👨‍🏫 👨‍🏫 👨‍🏫 👨‍🏫 👨‍🏫 👨‍🏫 👨‍🏫 👨‍🏫 👨‍🏫 👨‍🏫

Kinda hoping Make Me Write is open end

Omg, I am so sorry it took me so long long to respond to this. I've had almost no time this last week for any kind of downtime 😭😭😭. Please accept this nice little chunk as an apology:

So he swallowed his nerves and started typing. Hey Tommy, this is Buck. I just wanted to say I'm sorry again about last night. He read it over, trying to evaluate his message. It seemed like a safe enough opener. It wasn't like he'd be taking any real risk by sending it through. For a moment, he felt that same mix of push and pull he'd felt the night before at the bar. The battle between his instincts to follow wherever Tommy would lead him, to take anything Tommy would offer, and the rush of fear and uncertainty he'd felt that everything was too much, all at once. The sense that he'd been about to open a door without any guarantee that he was ready for what was on the other side. He wasn't going to let fear win again. He pressed send. Then immediately closed his phone and shoved it in his pocket. With any luck, Tommy would be too busy to reply just yet, and Buck would have another few hours before having to go through all of that all over again. The waiting might be bad, sure, but at least the ball wasn't in his court. He'd just managed to open his laptop and type in his password when he felt his phone buzzing against his leg. So much for a shot at peace. His heart was hammering at a hundred miles a minute, and he didn't even know it was Tommy texting him back, yet. For all he knew it was just spam. But...no. It wasn't spam. No need to apologise, the message read. Buck waited with baited breath as he watched those stupid, gut-wrenching three little dots bounce up and down as Tommy kept typing. Then more words popped up on his screen. Are you okay? Buck snorted out loud, and shot back a message without thinking. That's the million dollar question, isn't it? He was tempted to leave it there. Surely he'd already been brave enough for one day. But he wanted - needed - to talk about everything. And he wanted to talk about it with Tommy. He typed his next message out slowly, more purposefully than the last. He hoped that Tommy had something else to do and wouldn't notice how long Buck had spent typing. It's just that I've never hooked up with a dude before. He almost shuddered when he re-read the message. Swapped out 'dude' for 'guy', and then 'man'. Closed his eyes hard, so hard it hurt, as though that would help anything. And strongly reconsidered his choice of the words 'hooked up'. But then, what else would he say? That he's never met a man that he's wanted so badly before? That he's never kissed a man before, never been so intoxicated by a single kiss that he followed said man into a bathroom stall and almost immediately fallen to his knees and - and... It was the memory of kneeling on the bathroom floor, completely frozen, his eyes locking on Tommy's as if in silent plea, that had him pressing send again. Before he could even steel himself for a response, he was interrupted by the ringing of the school bell signalling the end of recess, and just moments later, the sound of shouting coming from down the hall. He heard a crash that was almost certainly chair being thrown across a classroom. And then all hell broke loose.

I'm having a lot of fun with this game and finding it really helpful, so I figure I may as well keep it open as long as people want to request things for.

Make me write

[howlingday]

Dig if you will this scene: here.

I know there's no one-to-one connections, but which RWBoys would best fit the scene?

Persemblance 4 Gilded: Ski Trip Gone Wrong

The sun is going to set soon... Should you ask somebody to accompany you down the slope?

=================

-Ask Yang -Ask Blake -Ask Pyrrha -Ask Emerald ->Ask the guys

=================

You decided to ask Neptune, Cardin, and Somewhat to ski with you...

--------------------------------------------------

You and the guys enjoyed your time together on the mountain...

Neptune: Considering we've been hitting the slopes for about two days straight, I think I've gotten a lot better. (Sighs) But, of course, just when I get the hand of things is the moment we have to leave. Happens every time...

Somewhat: Oh, what should I do...? I'm going to be head-hunted by the pros... I already have an exclusive contract with Coal & Sons!

Neptune: Dude, there are no competitions where you slide downhill on your stomach.

Somewhat: Snow is so weird... I've never seen it before. How does this stuff get in the sky in the first place?

Neptune: It's the same as rain, except when it's too cold, if just freezes and falls as snow.

Somewhat: Wouldn't that make it, like, little lumpy ice balls that bonk you on the head and stuff? Ouch!

Neptune: Why are you being so nitpicky?

Cardin: It is kinda mysterious, though. How these little, white water flowers just tumble delicately from the sky... When you look up, you don't usually notice it, but I can understand how deep the sky is... I feel like I'm falling in...

Neptune: Wow... I always had you pegged as one of those "warrior poet" types, but I didn't see that coming.

Somewhat: Cardin has the heart of a dreamy, little girl~.

Cardin: Shut the hell up! You started this stupid conversation in the first place!

Somewhat: I just asked where snow comes from. I didn't start writing "dairy" tales about white flowers and falling into the sky and stuff.

Cardin: Y-You pickin' a fight with me, Rat?!

Neptune: Look, it's going to get dark soon, so we should start heading back. I think today's dinner will have some actual meat tonight, and if we don't get there on time, that carnivore, Yang, is gonna get it all.

Cardin: Considerin' how active we've been today, it'll really suck if we don't get some dinner tonight. So, which way do we get back to the lodge?

Neptune: I... wasn't really paying attention... I wasn't expecting it to start snowing this much, and I thought we'd be able to see it from up here.

Cardin: How 'bout you, Arc? Do you remember the way?

=================

-"It should be right..." ->"I think it's left..."

=================

Neptune: Dude, are you sure? This might be a ski area, but one wrong turn and we'll end up in the mountains!

Somewhat: ...A-At least if worse comes to worst, I can just go into hi-brie-nation! I read about that in a book!

Neptune: That's totally wrong! You do that, and you'll wake up on the other side!

Cardin: In any case, let's get goin'. We can't dally around with it snowing this much already.

Neptune: You're right. Alright then, let's get going!

--------------------------------------------------

The snow is rapidly decreasing any visibility... You decide to somehow make your way to the lodge...

--------------------------------------------------

You've walked quite a bit, but the lodge is still nowhere to be seen... The snow seems to be coming down even harder now...

Neptune: Are you guys okay?! You guys are still here, right?!

Cardin: You two, me, and... Hey, where's Somewhat?!

Somewhat: (Trudging up. Covered in snow) Over here... And no jokes like "Ack! A talking snowman!" right now, please...

Neptune: This isn't good! We're c-completely lost a-and it's so cold, I feel like I'm g-g-gonna die!

Cardin: Don't give up so easy! Show some guts, dammit!

Somewhat: I remember reading that people who give up first are the first to die... Actually, Sir...? I think I'm all out of aura...

=================

->"Don't fall asleep, no matter what!" -"We should keep walking." -"Let's dig a snow hut."

=================

Somewhat: (Snores)

Neptune: H-He just said not to fall asleep! Quick screwing around, or else you'll die! For real this time!

Cardin: ...Hey! Doesn't that look like a cottage?

Neptune: Great, and now you're h-hallucinating... Y-You start dreaming on your f-feet and you'll be the next to d-die!

Cardin: I'm not dreaming, asshole! Open your frickin' eyes and look!

Somewhat: Whuh... EEK~! It really is a "snowy mountain cottage"! Suddenly, in the dead of night, the phone line gets cut and, one by one, the inhabitants are picked off and die by the fireplace poker...

Neptune: That'll be the least of our worries... Look, we can't stay out in the snow like this. Let's get over there, quickly!

--------------------------------------------------

Neptune: H-Hey! Excuse me! Is anyone here?!

There is no answer from inside...

Neptune: ...Wait, huh? (Walks inside with guys)

The door was unlocked, but there's no one inside...

Somewhat: I can't see anything.

Cardin: Wonder why it was open...

Neptune: I dunno, but it's better than freezing to death! Let's just consider ourselves lucky, okay? Anybody know the lodge's phone number? We can call them up and have them send some rescue services or something...

You shake your head with Somewhat.

Neptune: Seriously? Don't tell me... no one knows what it is?

Cardin: I don't have my scroll with me!

Somewhat: Me neither.

Neptune: Really?! Come ON, man! That's why scrolls were invented! You're SUPPOSED to keep it around!

Cardin: Who the hell would I call?! We were all hangin' around together! If you'd told me we were gonna get lost, then I'd have remembered to BRING IT!

Somewhat: I'm all naked in here! You should've told me this was gonna happen!

Neptune: How was I supposed to know?! If I'd known this was gonna happen, then we wouldn't have gotten lost! (Groans) Fine, I'll give Yang a call. (Opens scroll, Stuffs it)

Somewhat: C'mon, Neptune! Quit stalling! Hurry up and call Miss Yang!

Neptune: ...the battery's dead.

Cardin: AFTER ALL THE SHIT YOU GAVE US FOR BEING UNPREPARED, NOW THIS?!

Neptune: It's an old scroll, so it runs out, okay?! I can't afford a new one because I was saving up for a motorcycle! I never would've imagined something like this would happen!

Neptune: C'mon, Jaune! You're our only hope!

Cardin: Arc! You're our hero, ain't'cha?!

Somewhat: You always save us, Sir! I've always believed in you!

They're staring at you with such great hope in their eyes...! The screen reads "No service"... It seems there is no signal here...

Neptune: Welp, that settles it. We're dead.

Somewhat: I-I-I'm s-s-so c-c-c-freezing~!

Cardin: Even with all that fur?

Neptune: Who knows when this blizzard is going to let up... We're screwed if we have to spend the night here. Oh, well... There's a hearth right here, so let's start a fire in that. But how are we going to do that? I don't have a lighter or anything...

Cardin: Let's look around. They wouldn't put a firepit here if there wasn't stuff to use in it.

You find old newspapers and some matches... After some effort, you manage to get a fire going...

Neptune: Man... It looks like we're gonna survive this after all...

Cardin: I wonder where we are... Even if we do get in touch with the others, are they gonna be able to find us?

Somewhat: I bet we'll freeze here... Come tomorrow morning, we'll all be blocks of ice!

=================

->"Don't give up!" -"We'll manage..." -"Shut up, I'm cold, too."

=================

Somewhat: Sir... Your courage's paw-inspiring! I already feel a little warmer just basking in the glow of your awesomeness!

Neptune: But man, this little fire's too small to warm up the four of us...

Cardin: So let's light a fire on part of the floor, too. There's plenty of wood around.

Neptune: That's called arson! We'll just end up burning to death instead of freezing to death!

Cardin: Sheesh, all you do is complain... I don't see you coming up with any ideas! If we can't start a fire, then we just have to wear more stuff! Is there another coat around here?

Neptune: Oh, yeah, sure! Like there's a big fuzzy... thick... warm... coat...

Somewhat: ...Wh-Why are you looking at me?!

Neptune: Maybe... If we pass him around...

Somewhat: B-But I'm like a little boy! If all of you start grabbing for me, my innocence will be destroyed~!

Cardin: WILL YOU KNOCK IT OFF WITH THAT CRAP?!

BZZZT!

Neptune: ...That thing turned on just now, right? It wasn't just me?

=================

-"I'll go take a look." ->"Let's check it out."

=================

Neptune: R-Right! But why...?

Cardin: I'm comin', too, Arc!

Somewhat: Me three! This smells fishy~!

Neptune: H-Hey, wait up!

Neptune: (Runs up to look, Thud!) Whoa! Dude! Stop! What the hell are you doing?! Quit screwing around!

Cardin: But we have to find out. Right, Arc?

Somewhat: No! S-Sir! Stop it! You'll fall inside!

Yang: (Kicks down the door) H-H-H-H-HEY! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU GUYS DOING IN HERE?!

Pyrrha: JAUNE, NO, DON'T LEAVE ME~!

Pyrrha: (Blake and Emerald run in) Oh... They're still dressed...

Neptune: What are you doing here?! And, wait, what was that about our clothes?

Blake: Wait, why would they be taking off their clothes?

Emerald: (Groans) Do I really have to explain it?

Somewhat: Did you girls come to rescue us? I can't believe you came so far into the mountains to save me~!

Blake: What are you talking about? This little hut is right behind the lodge we're staying in.

Emerald: It looks like a storage shed. They don't lock it because the workers come here at all times during the day.

Yang: Anyway... What were the four of you doing, shoving each other around in here?

Cardin: Uh... We were checkin' the TV...

Emerald: Why? What's the matter with it?

Pyrrha: Oh! Is this one of those male-bonding exercises I've heard about? Should we come back later?

Neptune: What...? N-No! No! You're totally wrong!

The girls' stares are painful... You desperately explain what happened just now...

Yang: Okay, so you got lost, stumbled into this conveniently placed cottage, and needed to warm each other up...

Neptune: NO, DAMMIT! WEREN'T YOU LISTENING?!

Cardin: The TV just turned itself on! It makes no sense! Hasn't the case been over for months now?

Yang: So? Maybe the wiring's bad, or something. Or you saw some light reflected in it...

Somewhat: (Sniffling) This mouse-understanding is so heart-breaking... I feel so dirty... My reputation as a hero has been sullied...

Emerald: It looks like the TV isn't even plugged in... If what you all are saying is true, then we might have to reopen the investigation.

Neptune: That's what we've been saying from the start!

Yang: This TV, huh? Then let's take a closer look, shall we?

Neptune: H-Hey... Wait a minute...

[fitgirlfemdom]

hi! I’m just curious about something you mentioned about not being explicitly into everything you post - do you think it’s attracted unwanted attention? would you rather discuss non-kink topics on here as well? I think it would be cool if you incorporated some of the other stuff you’re passionate about (anime, music, etc) 🖤

The real me is not as sexual as this account displays. I've been celibate for half a year and I masturbate maybe once or twice a week for like 20 min. I still write and draw NSFW content, but that's for my main art account that isn't linked here (this isn't for privacy or anything--i just have art moots that probably don't wanna see fat bears eating cake on their timeline 24/7).

90% of the stuff I write/have posted about, I'm into, and I enjoyed writing, especially my longer posts! If I wasn't interested in something, I wouldn't write about it for free. The issue was messages in my DMs, especially near the beginning of this account. It's why I tried enforcing the rule that if you send me face pics, I'd block you, because a lot of the people that messaged me I did not find sexually attractive. Without a face, it's much easier to RP. Also because of the dick pics. Don't get me wrong, some of you guys had very respectable cocks but I can't deny that it made me feel gross to be sent them without my consent.

The worst part was actually enjoying talking to some of you, and then realizing you clearly just used me as a dumping ground for your fetish pics, without any consideration as to who I was. It was like my DMs were just "Send Photos of Your Gut to 19 Year Old Girl Here" without any personality, any interest in who I was. Just a nameless girl who you could imagine your fantasies with. I'd ask about your day or what you were interested in, and I'd get a pic of your gut in an office chair with "whoaaaaa just drank two liters of soda :/ so bloated rn." How do I respond to that? "Good"? 😭

I think the worst DM I got was a guy saying I was "in denial about being a housewife," which I mean, I've dabbled in misogyny kink content before. Bimbofication is literally on my profile. I've never brought up my feminist views or politics, although I would consider myself a feminist, since all people should have equal rights and freedom of expression. I also believe housewives can be feminists. There is nothing on my account about my political views, nor about my career or education, because it's not important to writing porn about feeding dudes cake.

When I brushed him off with a "Haha," he just kept going, paragraphs and paragraphs about how he wanted me to be his trophy wife and clean his shit out of a bucket??? You don't even know me??? And I never responded, but it really just made me realize--just saying I'm into femdom, no matter what it is, is seen as a political transgression to these people. I'm literally into gentle femdom and want a chubby hubby/wife that I can make happy and secure financially. None of my posts are "Women are superior, men should be locked in cages." Most of my posts are "I want a gym guy who enjoys my cooking and jerks off a lot."

I DO use female supremacy tags sometimes because I use dozens of tags, and that's on me. I just type "fem" and click the ones that come up. I've also written works that are VERY misogynistic, like calling myself a fleshlight or literally writing fics about me getting gangbanged. I feel like this guy just saw "femdom" in my username and lost his mind. By tagging my stuff like this, I honestly was asking for trouble to come, so yeah, I think I just got unwanted attention I wasn't ready for.

In regards to talking about others topics, I just figured no one gave a shit, and people probably don't, but I am very passionate about metal music and music history. I have a useless amount of knowledge about various 90s/2000s metal bands and music from that time. If I get asked questions about it, I'll answer, and I DO need to follow more people on this website, but my current answer is: I don't know, maybe. I'll see how I feel.

[1moreff-creator]

DR:OS CH2 Part 2 First Impressions

You know what time it is! >:D I may have finished my analysis on CH1, but there'll still be much to write about CH2! So let's go in!

CWs

"Mark: It says the motive announcement is tomorrow morning." Great! We're screwed even faster than in CH1! xD

"Kennedy: This motive… it’s about death. We should be ready.

Aidan: Not this again…

Vanessa: Why do you think it’s about death…?

Ellis: Dude, don’t indulge them…" Even Ellis is done with Kennedy's shit by this point :p

"Ellis: Perhaps eleven of us will expire by the end of this very conversation. Kennedy will survive; Vivi, perhaps… it’s just a question of who else has the guts to stick it out ‘til the end.

I look around.

Ellis: Maybe Jeff will manage to absentee himself just in the nick of time.

Taylor: “Dude, don’t indulge them…”" This is just funny xD

"Vivi: Why don’t any of you ever listen to her?

Aidan: ‘Cause she’s wrong.

Vivi: You don’t know that! You always just assume! Like, you hear “Conspiracy Theorist” and just tune them out, but they’re an Ultimate Theorist! Are you really going to completely disregard that just… just because his talent has a stupid adjective on it?!" I told y'all! The reason Vivi respects Kennedy is because their talent also makes them look worse! Mad Duo my beloved.

"Vivi: But it’s not about the associations, it’s about Kennedy! You’ve talked to her!

Aidan: Pff. Yeah, and that’s why I don’t listen." Aidan just never misses, damn.

"Taylor: “You’re not seeing the big picture! See, the mastermind knows that I’ll solve all their puzzles, so they had to discredit me the second I even walked in the door! It’s so clear that you all aren’t thinking hard enough about it, because you aren’t ready to handle the truth, which I’m telling you!”” :O Taylor went kinda hard ngl.

"Is that the Paris influence, or something they cooked up all on their own? Whatever the case, I’m intrigued to see what happens next." You and me both, Ellis :p

[Harper FTE] Wee FTE time! And Harper's one of the characters we know the least about, so this is cool!

"Harper: Oh, hello Ellis. I’m not sure who this is for yet. I sort of just… started making it.

Ellis: Eh, makes enough sense. I know a lot of people like having something to do with their hands.

Harper: Yes, I tend to feel restless if I’m not doing anything." We are. Really driving this point home, huh?

"Ellis: Yeah, I’m used to people blowing up my phone too… Crazy to not have anybody knocking at my door. Any of my usual admirers, I mean." Sure babe.

"Harper: All of you are so interesting.

Ellis: Eh? Yeah, I get that a lot, when you get rid of the “all of.”

Harper: Everyone has such specific lives and interesting stories about them. It’s been nice getting to know you better." Yeah that's a nice way of putting "everyone here is insane."

"Ellis: You fancy yourself a storyteller at all?

Harper: I don’t consider myself one, but if there’s anything you’d like to know about, I’m willing to answer.

Ellis: Oh yeah? What’s your type?" I wonder how many times I'll write "Ellis never lets one go" before the end of this fangan :v

"Harper: Oh. I haven’t given it much thought.

Ve thinks for a moment.

Harper: Probably… someone sweet and thoughtful. I think that caring for the other person is the most important thing." Yeah that tracks :p

"Harper: What about yourself?

Ellis: Anyone.

The answer, it leaves my mouth before I can process in the slightest.

Ellis: Anyone… worthy of my time! You know, because they’re… interesting. And down for whatever. Like that." This also tracks, massively xD

"Harper: I’m sure your partners would speak highly of you."Harper: I’m sure your partners would speak highly of you.

Ellis: Yeah. Obviously.

I purse my lips.

Ellis: You too, if you’ve…

Harper: I haven’t.

I kinda guessed." How awkward can one conversation get? Lol. At leaast we get a bit more info on Harper!

"Man, I hope I didn’t embarrass myself in front of ver…

Ah, what am I saying? Ve literally admitted to me that ve hasn’t talked much to other people of ver status ver age. I’m setting the precedent! If anything, I’m sure I’m setting the standards too high." Remember that thing I said about Ellis going back and forth between faux overconfidence and insecurity? Yeah that.

"Davis: Oh, hey Ellis. Are you busy?

Ellis: For you? Uh… I could make time, if you need me for something.

Davis: It’s nothing important. I was just going to go on a walk. You can join, if you’d like." ? Very curious about this. Even if the color coding’s gonna be awful :p

"Davis: …Is it nice?

Ellis: Not as nice as you.

My hand moves to form a finger gun, but I choose to slap my hand to my face instead.

Ellis: Gah! Sorry. Uh, I guess it’s nice? People say that ignorance is bliss, don’t they?" I do really appreciate that Ellis is trying their best to back off from doing their pickup lines on Davis, it's sweet :)

"Davis: …Hi, Jeff.

Jeff raises an eyebrow at him.

Jeff: Everything good?

Davis: It’s fine.

I notice Davis speaking with a short tone. Does Jeff… bother him?

Ellis: Y’know what might make us better? Bar snacks!" Okay Davis was confusing me before but now I genuinely have no clue what's happening anymore. I am very, very intrigued. Also good on Ellis trying to make things less awkward ig.

"Davis: …Is this really the best use of our time…?

Jeff: Nothing wrong with enjoying what we have, right? The others would want us to be happy or whatever." Is that what's bothering Davis? Jeff's nonchalance? But he didn't seem to have this issue with Ellis, who presents herself like that too, so... I don't know :v

"Davis: …Somewhere else. I wouldn’t want to… intrude…

Jeff: Nah, stay a while. What’s the harm?

Davis: …

He looks to Jeff, then to me, seeming a bit uncomfortable." Wait does he think Ellis and Jeff are flirting, because of the sunglasses and finger guns thing I kinda skipped over here? Is that what's happening? I can't think of anything else, so.

"Jeff: Everything’s chill. Honestly, life’s pretty good. It’s normal, right? Get what I can from the place before skipping out." Funny you use that word, "normal." I've talked about how a point that seems to be getting made is how different that concept is for everyone, and this seems to be furthering that theme, which is cool :)

"Ellis: Wait, are you planning to escape?

Jeff: …Someday, yeah, obviously? Like, at some point, one or more of us is gonna get out of here, and I’d like it to be me.

Davis: Even if you’re the only one?

Jeff: I mean… yeah? Everyone’s in it for themself. If everyone else goes and dies off, that’s not on me.

Too bad you’re not the lucky student, hot stuff." So we've decided we wanted even more parallels to Ellis' mindset, huh? Though if I understand the creation process correctly, this is more or less a coincidence, which is crazy. Point stands, though.

"Davis: Don’t you worry about them at all? Could you still see it as a good thing, if everyone else has to die for you?

Jeff: Sure. I’m in it for me, no matter where I am.

Davis: Don’t you think that’s selfish?

Jeff: I mean, yeah. But who cares? I’d expect everyone else to be acting in their own best interest all the time, too.

Davis: But… you’ve probably hurt people, haven’t you? The people you leave behind all the time… wouldn’t they miss you?

Jeff: Do I care?" Okay circle back, Davis doesn't think Jeff and Ellis are flirting. It's just that Ultimate Absentee is apparently a talent he really doesn't like, ig. Wonder if it ties into his Bachelor status in any way.

"Davis: Are you really just… going to ditch this conversation, too…?" Classic Jeff move xD

"Jeff: Geez, what’s his deal…?

Ellis: I guess he’s one of those “traumatized by murder” types.

Jeff: Ah. Sucks to be him, I guess." Bro???

"I excuse myself sooner than I’d like, though– for some reason, I’m feeling slightly nauseous. Must be the water." Uh... there's not already some kind of murder plan being set up, right? Ellis felt nauseous because of the conversation and is just doing his bravado thing when he says it's the water, right? Right?

"Unfortunately, tonight I find myself next to Vivi and Kennedy. At least Mark’s here." Speaking of murder, I'm getting really worried about the amount of screen time the Mad Duo is getting this chapter already. Surely, they wouldn't die yet, right? Right? x2

"Kennedy: Motive theories. Go." Hysterical. I love him xD

"Vivi: But, you don’t mean, like, death-death, right? Like, in a way we can’t still fix…? I wouldn’t just let someone die like that.

Ellis: Um… and what exactly does that mean?

Vivi: If someone’s still alive, I can save them, no matter what." I wonder if that idea will ever come into play.

"Kennedy: No, they’re onto something here! It wouldn’t just be them… Maybe, over the course of the game, different motives will only affect different people…" Why are we doing discussing this, anyways? Watch Kennedy be right about this lol.

[Motive Theory Discussion] There are some pretty good points being brought up here. I wonder if these characters did sign up for it. Knowing what we know about the Tragedy, it'd kinda make sense for followers of Junko to do some shit like that. But that's only a possibility. Who knows!

"Kennedy: True. But for now… You’re good at this, huh?

Mark: Me?

Kennedy: I’ve gotta get you up to speed. Together, the two of us could really figure out some big mysteries of this place." Get in loser we're going theorizing xD

Also what do you mean "two of us." Kennedy don't leave out Vivi like that >:p

Should I be worried that Mark is getting dragged into this sorta like Cass was, given Cass was the CH1 victim? Nah, surely not.

"Vivi: Still. [Kennedy's theories] all lead somewhere.

Ellis: Sure.

That “somewhere” is more like the middle of a mental desert with no gas, cash, or cell signal, but you can’t deny the journey." Lol.

"We’re really in the rat race now, aren’t we? While everyone chases after victory, morality, chill vibes, whatever, we’re all just becoming smaller creatures with pointier teeth, scrambling around the halls for nothing. I keep getting distracted by those damn pieces of cheese.

First, Harper diverts my attention with that colorful quilt and tries to lure me into ~emotional vulnerability~. Then, I bring Davis to the Pool, and he gets mad at Jeff and I for expressing our real emotions! And then there’s Kennedy, the wildest rat of all, chomping at the bit to try to outpace the scientists that have trapped us all. Good luck with that, Chuck E Cheese." Feeling poetic, are we? Pretty cool analogy though :)

"Monoquin: Greetings, contestants. Please enter the Movie Theater." Woo! Motive time! Everything's about to get worse! :D

"Right… just a few days ago, I was sitting here with both Vanessa and Antonia." Ouch.

"The screen displays what looks like a roulette wheel, but instead of the numbers, our faces sit at the ends of each of the fourteen slices." Oh hey it's the thing from the announcement poster! Minus Monoquin plus Ellis, presumably. Didn't think that would come up, but cool!

"It goes around, and around, and then, the screen goes black.

There’s a thud as something falls from a panel in the ceiling.

Ellis: Woah!

I instinctively lean away from where the object crashes down. No. No. No. This isn’t another of those crazy murder boxes, is it?" Alright I'm scared, what's happening.

"Grace: Justin? JUSTIN?!

Ellis: Wait, it actually IS another crazy body arrival?!

Noah: What?! Wait, no, that can’t…

Mark: This… this is the motive?

Monoquin: Yes. In the simplest of terms, this is the “Loved One’s Roulette.” Each day, at this same time, everyone will gather in the Movie Theater, and a randomly selected contestant will lose a loved one– whoever it would trouble them most to lose." ...Well there goes the Grace!MM theory! Sort of. And also Justin! Goddamn!

This is a pretty cool motive! THH just left the fate of the loved ones vague (and from UDG we know they weren't straight up dead), but this takes that and spins it! Now you don't know who the loved one is, but you know they're gonna die if you're unlucky! Adding that sort of random time limit is crazy, I love it.

Wait- Oh shit Kennedy was right! It did have to do with death! Crazy! Alright so now we know what the deal with the Show Room is, at least, which is neat.

Not only that, but it also only affects certain people! Mark, for example, wouldn't be affected because they don't remember any loved ones. I wonder if that really means there's only eleven loved ones in danger here, with five participants who don't have any loved ones to threaten them with. Antonia and Cass are probably two (not because they don't have loved ones, but because they're already dead), Mark's another, I'm betting Jeff is the fourth, and the fifth is Aidan maybe? Not so sure on those last two. That's kinda what makes the most sense to me right now, I wonder if they'll confirm or deny it.

Another point, sorta unrelated but still about the motive. Monoquin claims the loved one lost will be "whoever it would trouble [the participant] most to lose." Grace lost Justin, not their parents, which we know they have. Curious.

Also for some guesses as to which loved ones each person would lose:

Vanessa: Sister, confirmed to exist via Q&A.

Antonia: Sister (N/A since she's dead).

Paris: A friend? I don't think she's ever mentioned family.

Vivi: Family member, she's mentioned them a bunch.

Ellis: Step-siblings? Though the wheel probably won't land on them due to Luck.

Grace: Justin (obviously confirmed).

Noah: I would say sisters, but given his conversation with Vivi earlier, maybe it would be a friend.

Jeff, Aidan, Mark: N/A.

Taylor, Davis, Kennedy, Cass, Harper: No idea. (Cass is N/A anyways due to death).

Alright that was fun let's actually keep reading now :p

"They literally showcased this motive as a form of gambling. I’m the lucky one, and I’m great at gambling!" The point I made, yeah.

"This stupid wheel will never be able to lay its hands on my…

My…

…who?" Okay hold on maybe replace Aidan with Ellis in the N/A section lol. Does she really not have anyone, or does she just not know who it would be out of everyone she knows?

"Kennedy: Told you so.

Vivi: Kennedy!" I concur with Vivi, Kennedy this is kinda insensitive xD

"Aidan: Not the time for this, Rey." Yeah that.

"Grace: This isn’t fair! I… I should have had a chance, just like everyone else!

Monoquin: My apologies, Mx. Thomas, but it was random chance.

Taylor: Grace…?

Jeff: …You’d have done it, huh?

Ellis: Hey, hey, we don’t know that’s the “chance” that Grace was talking about. Maybe they just meant, y’know, a chance to process and… come to terms with it.

Who would it be?

Grace: I meant what I said. So what? It’s trading our lives for the lives of those we care about. Is it so criminal if the total number of lives lost would be the same thing?" Holy shit Grace was fucking ready. And you know they don't waste no time! If they hadn't gotten picked, come the next morning, there probably would have been a body to discover, and not from the roulette. Crazy. I wonder if Ellis' luck came into play there, to keep people alive for a bit longer by making the motive inapplicable to the one that hates wasting time.

Also yeah Ellis just straight up doesn't know who his loved one is, crazy.

"Vivi: …I can try to save him.

Harper: How…?

Vivi: I’ve never tried before, but it's possible… I don’t know how recently he died or anything, but… people’s hearts can stop and they can still be brought back, right? People can be temporarily “dead.” It’s possible…" Oh hey it did come up! Crazy timing ig.

"Grace: Absolutely not.

Vivi: Why not? If you care about him so much, isn’t it worth trying? Isn’t it our responsibility to do whatever we can to help these people?

Grace: And what would you do to him? If you fail, would his body still be intact? Would I even be able to recognize his face?

Vivi: H-hey!

Davis: This… isn’t really helping…

Vivi: So you’d kill for this guy, but now that he’s dead, you won’t even let me try to bring him back?!

Grace: Leave him alone!" Holy hell tensions are getting high, goddamn.

"Paris: Hey, you two, take a sec, deep breaths, chill, all that. Yelling isn’t gonna bring back the dead, y’know~?" This is not the time for a tilde (~), Paris! How are you still so unbothered by all this?! What?!

"I don’t have a boyfriend, or a girlfriend, or… anyone…" Huh.

"Grace: No." Don't worry Vivi someone will let you do science here one day, I promise. You couldn't at the talent show and you couldn't now, but I trust.

"Davis: This… you said this was every day?

Monoquin: Until someone commits a murder, yes.

Taylor: That’s… such a cruel motive.

Aidan: …Get used to it, I guess." First Davis line not to work perfectly with Davis!MM btw, but also Aidan is as insane as ever lol.

"Would my family still care about me, after I left home? I don’t check back in often. I mostly just hang out with an entourage now– My… friends…?" Well, there's... some people it could be, maybe Aidan really is the fifth "N/A". Assuming that's what the graves mean, anyways.

[Noah FTE] Well time to move on from the most horrific shit ever! Hurray!

"Ellis: Yeah, the people here are a little different than your typical frat. Like, can you imagine Taylor in a frat? Paris???" That would be an image, for sure.

"Noah: Yeah, that’d be wild. You’d fit in pretty well, but I take it you don’t go to college.

Ellis: Pfft. ‘Course not. I don’t need that when I’ve already got fabulous wealth and great looks.

Noah: Makes sense." Just in case anyone was wondering, lol.

"Ellis: What do they teach you in those fancy college English classes?

Noah: I don’t really pay attention to most of them.

Ellis: Ayy, up top!" No respect for the classics smh.

"I shiver as I think of Robert on the dance floor." Truly, a horrifying image.

"Ellis: And, what about you? I assume you must’ve started partying at college, if not before.

I hope he doesn’t realize that I didn’t mention a “before.”" Yeah, for all we know about Ellis, we know surprisingly little of his earlier years.

"Noah: Like ten or something. I went to the same college as my dad, and he’s, like, super big on our frat. He donates all the time and helps run events and stuff, so I pretty much grew up there. 

Ellis: They let a ten year old into a college party?

Noah: Just me. It wasn’t, like, a usual thing." ???? Bro??? I mean neat backstory but what in the actual hell???

"Noah: As long as people get to where they need to be, it doesn’t matter too much how long it takes, right?

Ellis: Ah. You’re one of those “destination over journey” types.

Noah: It’s not like life ends at the destination, right? You’re just moving on to a new part." Neat perspective!

"Ellis: Hey, Mark. Uh, Vivi…? What are you doing…?

Vivi: Trying to find a way to raise the dead." Yeah this is a normal topic of conversation xD

"Vivi: I’m not going to try to resurrect Justin without Grace’s consent or anything! I’m just… seeing what theories I might have, in case someone consenting does show up." Good! I was worried at the start of this scene that something really fucked was going on.

"I look at Mark in a way that says, “please don’t tell me you’ve joined them, Mark.”

Mark: I figured it’d be good for someone to keep her company. There’s a lot they’re trying to do." Mad Duo turning into Theory Trio let's go!!! (I'm joking I don't really think Mark's that insane yet).

"Ellis: We really don’t need to add a zombie apocalypse on top of everything else." That would be a hell of a plot point though xD

"Vivi: I mean, you can’t guarantee if a corpse gives consent to it, but that’s why there are powers of attorney and stuff, right? It’s not like this never happens in the real world. Loved ones can consent for those who are unable to." Ah, the ethical ramifications of attempting to raise the dead, lol.

"Vivi: At least one person cares about their loved one enough to try to save them. I guarantee it." I mean, yeah. Vivi themself would probably try this on their loved one, right?

"Vivi: …I mean, hopefully I’ll get some test runs in. I ordered some mice from the Customer Service Desk…" Of course you did. Goddamn, they really weren't kidding when they said the doctor was Mad, huh?

"Noah: …She’ll be fine, right? She’s not going to do anything completely unreasonable…" I am very worried about whatever's about to happen.

"Then again, it is kinda messed up. It’s like using someone as an organ donor when they didn’t check that box on their driver’s license." The ethics of the situation are all kinda fucked, yeah.

"Whatever. Whatever. It’s just me. I’m not the one who needs to be making decisions like these. Coast until the lucky end– that was my strategy from the start, and it’ll be my strategy until the end." Classic Ellis, really.

"Noah: Hey, uh… good food at the buffet today, right?

Noah nudges Vanessa gently.

Vanessa: Yeah, it’s nice, I guess." I like how Noah's trying to cheer Ness up, it's sweet :)

"Aidan: …Hey. Who do you think your people are?

Vanessa: Uh… I mean, my sister, probably…" Yeah... ouch...

"Noah: …It’s gotta be my dad. I’ve… sort of accepted it, if it has to happen." I kinda forgot about his dad earlier in this post oops. But yeah, this tracks with the FTE.

"Ellis: Well, uh… I care about all of them equally! So, still no leads." Sure babe.

"Aidan: Eleven graves, fourteen contestants. Three people don’t have anyone in the rotation." Oh so suddenly theorizing about the motive based on the Show Room is okay, huh? Funny how that workds xD

"Aidan: It’s gotta be, right? I assume one is Mark, because they wouldn’t recognize anyone who turned up for them. Then there’s me, and one more.

Vanessa: You don’t care about anyone…?

Aidan: I mean, who would it be? It’s not like I’ve consistently spent time with anyone recently, or ever. Hell, in the last year, I've probably had the most conversations with Davis ‘cause he keeps coming to me." Seems he and I arrived at the same conclusion about Mark, so the question is whether the last one is Jeff or Ellis (or someone else but I find the others a bit more unlikely). Also, I wasn't imagining it, Davis is sticking close to Aidan, cool!

"Aidan: Do you remember what Grace said earlier today? About the whole trading equal numbers of lives thing? It’s not one to one. Not if you try to actually win as the blackened.

Ellis: Well yeah, if you assume that each of us only has one person on standby. As far as we know, there’s nothing to stop Grace from being rolled again.

Aidan: Nah, I asked Monoquin. One slot per person. If we get through all fourteen days, the motive’s over, and we get a new one." I mean, the whole "one to one" thing really wouldn't last if a few more deaths happened before someone actually murdered, so. But cool to know that there's only one per person!

"Vanessa: If no one you care about is at stake, why do you even care so much…? 

He shrugs.

Aidan: I figured other people did." Right, Aidan acts on what he thinks other people care about, since he doesn't give a shit about anything, generally speaking.

"Ellis: Do you think… the mastermind has someone on the line? Or do you think they’re one of those three slots? [...]

Noah: I mean, couldn’t the mastermind, like… lie? They could have the randomizer rigged, or turn up some random body and be like, “oh no, my person!” We don’t actually know who anyone’s people are, let alone what they look like. 

Vanessa: If it’s like that, then do you think the mastermind would bother with all that…?

Aidan: It’s probably less suspicious that way, right?" Oh hey, maybe Grace!MM is back on, actually. Would make sense if they didn't want to risk Vivi actually raising the dead only for the corpse to reveal that he's not Justin actually xD I don't think that's what's happening, but y'know. Where is Kennedy when you need him?

"Aidan: Me, Mark, and one more. Probably Ellis or Jeff.

Ellis: Wh–hey! I just told you who my people were!

Aidan: Not really." Lmao. Also yeah Aidan and me are on, like, the exact same wavelength here.

"Super Vivi is here to save the day, defy god, and reverse the biological process that’s ruled the Earth since its creation! I’m sure a 20-something in a crop top with a scalpel dangling from her ear is perfectly equipped to handle that. Honestly, how do they delude themself so badly…?" Ellis just can't handle a death defying bitch, huh?

"But, what if? Luck can only carry someone so far. I can be delayed as far to the back as I please, but if no one kills for fourteen days, there’s no running or hiding from seeing my result, whatever it may bring. Does that just mean that somebody will kill before my sliver has the chance to yield results?

Who am I kidding? We’ve had two contestants die before there was even a motive announced. Somebody’s definitely going to snap if there are actual other lives on the line. There just might be a few more bodies than anticipated standing in the way between me and my freedom." Yeah, no chance it actually goes through all 14 lol. That said, I am very curious to see who'll be next.

-

Wow, what a chapter! Motive's getting announced pretty quickly, all things considered, but it makes sense with what the motive is. And it's a hell of a motive! I like it a lot! As always, excited to move forward, this chapter's looking even better than the last one! I'm just worried about how much we seem to be lining up for Vivi to die this chapter, but let's hope I'm just imagining things xD Thanks for reading, see ya'!

[neoyi-backstreetback]

Aephorul/Resh'an, 4, 10, 15, 20!

And Marine/Prima, 2, 13

*cracks knuckles* Let's start with Marine and Prima since there's less of that.

2) who says “I love you” more?

Honestly, both of them would be equally sharing that role, but in significantly different ways. Marine is much more outwardly and while it's not always a direct "I love you!" He is far, far, far more affectionate about it. That is, in a very blatant, glomping/planting dramatic kisses/locking-arms-out-in-public kinda way. He's a french robot, what'd ya expect?

Prima tends to be more subtle. He prefers the quiet "I love yous" in the privacy of their home (well, space ship in this case.) He tends to wordlessly wrap his arms around Marine or give him reassuring pecks on the forehead whenever Marine is sad or something like that. I personally like writing where the two don't necessarily say "I loves you" at the drop of a hat, but express it in their own ways through gestures and spoken reassurances/affections.

And without delving too much into spoiler territory, Prima would be the kind to softly tell Marine he loves him when the latter is asleep, for reasons I can't say yet since we're not at that part in the story.

13) who gives the most compliments?

This is the only one on the answer list that I did not draw art for, partially because after drawing everything else on this blog post, I started getting tired and partially because I could not really think of what to draw with Marine and Prima specifically for this piece.

The answer is, both would, but again, in their own ways. When Marine is especially happy Prima did something he likes, that bot is gonna be super giddy and enthusiastic with his compliments. Prima would dish out his more casually with a thumbs up; kinda like a "eyyy, that was the ritz, Fish Bot."

Okay, now for Resh'an and Aephorul.

4) who swears more?

Aephorul.

Resh'an tend to swear when prompted more than anything.

10) who usually makes dinner?

In his younger, pre-immortal days, Resh'an was a prince, so he had personal chefs literally cooking for him everyday, so dude never learned a damn thing. Obviously, also being a guy hyperfixated in alchemy meant he'd ignore food for hours at a time and sustain on coffee and whatever meals his servants left him that he only shoved into his mouth hole when he realized that, oh right, eating and drinking is what keeps you focused and not feel like dying.

Aephorul isn't a master chef by any means, but constantly traveling alone for so long and surviving harsh conditions meant he learned to cook what he could. We're talking camping, wilderness survivor levels, so he knows how to skin rabbits, pluck feathers from birds he's shot, and gut fishes he's killed. Most of them are just roasted over an open fire. Everything else is food he'll have bought from any towns and cities he's in and often ones that'll last, like dried sausages or cheese. ...He can fry eggs, but boiling them means he can store them to be munched on later.

Aephorul did try to teach Resh'an how to cook (survival and all), but it basically boiled down to Aephorul just doing most of it himself when it became clear that man would be likely to burn a house down with his lethal handling of a frying pan.

Post-immortal, Aephorul has an army of minions from all across the multiverse who often serve him food, half of which he doesn't really eat anyway because he just has a lot of work to do. Though the ones he does eat, he's actually very grateful for it. Aephorul genuinely has fond memories dining out in restaurants and bars in his travels, so he likes eating whenever he has the time. Sometimes, he actually will eat with his minions because he liked the bustling sounds of a busy bar in his youth. Aephorul doesn't really say much, he just lets Barma'thazel or the Acolytes chat about what Kevin's been doing to the office fern the other day or if any of them signed the card for Carol's retirement party.

Resh'an, being the kind of guy with a lot of time on his hands and genuinely appreciate of the world(s) around him, did eventually learn to cook and especially bake (hey, it's mixing ingredients, just like alchemy) which would prove useful a few times...........................but largely never really did make good use of it in favor of the truly heinous amount of take out he ends up ordering instead due to his literal centuries holed up in his library cave doing spacetime research and the shitton of endless money he can alchemy up whenever he damn well wants to pay for his umpteenth Chipotle burrito.

15) who isn’t afraid to embarrass the other in public?

Technically both. Aephorul, usually when he's the most angry; Resh'an if Aephorul pushed his buttons enough. There have been MOUNTAINS of arguments between the two of them out in public before they learned to at least STOP TIME so they could conduct their bitchfest without prying eyes or ears.

Pre-immortal days, it was usually Resh'an embarrassing Aephorul, but in a very affectionate way. In spite of being, like, 20, Resh'an would do that shit where kids would pull someone's pigtails or poke them with a pencil as a sign that they liked them. Past Resh'an would absolutely do that to Aephorul when they were slowly getting to know each other. Aephorul found it annoying, but damn it, he could not stop blushing at that guy For Some Reason.

Resh'an did stop eventually, largely because he outgrew it. Running away from home and learning to adapt to life outside a palace took the spoiled child out of him relatively quickly.

20) who is more ‘physically passionate’? (hugs, kisses, or maybe more…)

Aephorul without a doubt. And absolutely out in public. He will smother that man with kisses, hugs, and minor inappropriate touching until someone complained and the two of them would be escorted out of the park because damn it, they were warned about this.

Resh'an tries to put a stop to it before it gets too far and maintain some decorum, but he secretly feels validated that Aephorul, after millennia after millennia, has never stopped loving him. Resh'an adores the affection, he just won't admit it.

[whentherewerebicycles]

baby had his four-month vaccines today and did very well! some betrayed screaming (he looks so much like my italian grandmother when he's furious it's kind of hilarious) but he always returns pretty easily to equilibrium if you cuddle him a bit. chill little dude! i love that little guy.

he is napping now and i should be doing student work but instead i am going to do some reflective journaling about Parenting. i have not been writing about Parenting very much in My Public Diary for a number of reasons and i thought it might be useful to write through that hesitation a bit.

liz and i have talked a lot about how we imagine the emotional experience of parenting is going to feel a lot like the emotional experience of teaching. (bear with me on this tangent as i promise it circles back.) teaching is one of the best, most rewarding, most purposeful forms of work in the world, but you really earn the emotional highs through facing the extreme emotional lows lol. in teaching, you get very little external feedback on how you are doing. you have to trust your gut a lot and figure things out on the fly in the absence of genuinely helpful institutional support. you make a lot of mistakes (sometimes quite big ones) and you feel stupid and guilty about those mistakes (sometimes for years!). teaching feels intensely personal, both because you pour a ton of your own personality into it and because kids' reactions to their classroom experience are often framed as reactions to you personally (ie if they hate your rules or the way you do things or the subject matter you are teaching or the way you address disciplinary issues, they are often going to react in ways that feel like: I Hate You, Person Who Embodies The Things I Dislike or Feel Uncomfortable With). as a teacher there are SO many opportunities for public humiliation, in big and small ways. like, you are basically just on stage every day in front of kids who often did not choose to be there and do not always have a strong motivation to give you any positive reinforcement at all lol. also, while sometimes you are lucky and find really supportive teacher communities, you are also sometimes unlucky and find yourself in school environments where other teachers are really critical of each other or hostile to different approaches or so sensitive/defensive about their own work that even talking about teaching strategies together can feel super fraught. oh and also you have to deal with so much cultural NOISE because everyone thinks they can do their job better than you or knows how your job should be done even if they've never set foot in front of a classroom.

so often in teaching you find yourself facing a challenging audience, without much or any institutional support, with minimal external feedback on your work apart from the intensely emotional I Love You!/I Hate You! gut reactions you get from kids, in professional environments where trying to talk openly about your work or others' work can make people real real prickly real fast. this is obviously a skewed-negative framing (there are so many WONDERFUL things about teaching! the challenges are incredibly intellectually stimulating and push you to grow emotionally in ways that few professions do! the relationships you form with kids and with teachers who also genuinely love the work are unbelievably enriching and life-affirming!). but that's the way teaching can feel at its hardest.

i think that parenting, or thinking and talking about parenting, is probably going to feel a LOT like that at times. like, you are going to get LOTS of feedback on your parenting style from your kid... but that feedback is going to often be really personal and emotion-driven, and it will also be delivered by someone whose prefrontal cortex has not finished developing yet. there is no system of performance assessments where you can get feedback from a trusted "colleague" or recognized authority figure. we do not have strong cultural or institutional resources for coaching parents or helping them learn how to parent in more effective ways. and even the definition of "effective" is going to vary HUGELY from parent to parent, since we all choose to center different values in our parenting and to prioritize different life outcomes (just as teachers might choose to prioritize different learning outcomes and so emphasize different things in their work). i assume that parenting is also going to involve managing feelings of humiliation, guilt, shame, etc. at some points (even as it also offers incredible highs!). and of course there is an absolutely overwhelming amount of cultural noise around parenting styles etc especially online... and it's even more fraught than the cultural noise around teaching because at least with teaching the framing isn't "if you don't do exactly what I think is best you are going to permanently scar your child and irreparably damage their prospects in life." and then idk also just hard to talk to other parents about parenting even though i desperately want to! i want to talk these things out with people who are currently navigating similar issues or have just been through the same thing, as well as with people whose children are much older and who have had the time and distance to reflect on their experiences. but it can feel soooooo emotionally vulnerable to talk about your parenting values or your reasoning for doing things, in part because people can get super defensive about their own values or reasoning for doing something, even if you are not criticizing them for doing something differently.

anyway. this is all a long way of saying: i can't make sense of my own lived experiences if i'm not writing my way through them. writing is the way i untangle what i'm feeling and make decisions about how i want to move forward. i am also someone who craves detailed frameworks or mental schemas for what i'm doing. i don't want rigid rules, but i do want to have a loose, flexible mental framework that guides my decision-making. i want to think about the big questions a lot when i'm in a calm reflective headspace so that when i'm under immense pressure or in an emotionally fraught situation i can try to make choices that aren't just knee-jerk reactions but are aligned with the bigger-picture values and longer-term outcomes that matter to me. i also find a lot of value in documenting where my head and heart are at in a particular moment, even if i acknowledge that my thinking about things will evolve over time as i have new experiences or learn new things.

long circular way of getting to the question: why do i fear writing about parenting online? short answer:

I'm afraid of feeling judged!

I'm afraid of coming off as naive/stupid! I feel like so much of our cultural rhetoric around parenting is like, "you think being PREGNANT is hard? try having a NEWBORN! you think having a NEWBORN is hard? try having a TODDLER! you think having a TODDLER is hard? try having a PRETEEN. you think having a PRETEEN is hard? well you're gonna HATE how SHITTY and OVERWHELMED and INADEQUATE you feel when you have a TEENAGER!!!" and so on forever and ever. there's so little generosity or empathetic curiosity in the way we talk to & about parents or people who want to be parents. some of that is true! you can't really know something until you've lived it yourself, and idk, a lot of it IS hard. but i think often the way we talk to each other about parenting, or the way people talk to new parents in particular about parenting, gets kinda clouded by our emotional defensiveness around parenting and the general negativity with which we speak about parenting.

I'm afraid of making other people feel judged if I do things differently than they do or if I seem to be having an easier time with a particular stage.

however! here are some counterpoints:

people will judge you for anything and everything. who cares! i also think that carving out space for sustained reflection around parenting is going to help me feel more secure in my choices and therefore less scared about being judged. if i know why i am doing things and feel reasonably confident in my choices, i am less vulnerable to being emotionally buffeted around by the general cultural noise or other people's strong opinions.

feeling scared of looking stupid/naive/inexperienced is suuuch a core fear of mine lol. i really relish feeling competent and having others perceive me as competent. but this core fear is also a core thing i want to work on in myself. learning how to do something new (especially when the stakes feel so high!!) is hard, messy, vulnerable work. all learners entering a new sphere of knowledge bring with them preconceptions that will seem ill-founded or incomplete to more experienced practitioners. totally normal. totally not something to be embarrassed about. the goal is not to get it exactly right & be an expert the first time you try something. the goal is to be engaged in a lifelong process of learning, trying, reflecting, reconsidering, trying again, evaluating other approaches or perspectives, etc etc. i am sure that i will often write about parenting in the self-assured, know-it-all tones of a novice learner who's absorbed just enough to be really stupid about it lol. but life will teach me. i will learn to moderate my positions, to reconsider certainties i held sacrosanct, and to respect ways of addressing challenges that are very different from my own. but you can't do that from the sidelines or from that relentlessly bird's eye view/meta mode i love to inhabit. you gotta get in there and live it. gotta look like a dumbass in front of people and then get over yourself and become less of a dumbass in time. no way but through.

lastly, re: not wanting to make other people feel judged: I can't control how other people react to me! I can take care to try to be less of a serenely self-assured dumbass (lol) and to write about my own parenting choices in ways that communicate respect for other people's choices. but people can also just choose to not engage with stuff that isn't for them. or they can gently push back on what i say if that's important to them to see other perspectives acknowledged. that's ok! that's great.

idk. this is getting quite long! but as always, it was helpful for me to write through it -- and i guess maybe also helpful to give a sort of upfront disclaimer: I'm going to be writing a lot about parenting, probably for a while, because I find it endlessly interesting to think about and because this is the dedicated space where I think out loud about stuff. I'm going to be learning and reevaluating the way I think about different aspects of parenting as I go, and I'm going to give myself the space and grace to change my mind as I learn more and have new experiences. my decisions and reflections are specific to my life, my beliefs, and my context and are not meant to be generalized judgments on the "best" way to parent. they're just my choices. but also, inevitably, thinking about my personal decisions will involve thinking about the parenting cultures in which I am immersed and reflecting on why I might want to do things differently or develop different frameworks. so yeah. here we go! more to come but i really gotta get some work done before this baby wakes up.

[craetor]

What are your top 10 favorite media ever (can be anime/manga, tv series, books, movies, games, etc)? Why love them? Thanks ⭐

Hehe thanks for the ask! I'd be happy to comply!

I can't pick dude. If you just want me to ramble about media, I'll start by talking about some pieces that have positively surprised me.

• Spaceman

Tuned in for the hot spider from the instagram clips, stayed for the interesting social commentary. I'm sure it would help a fuck ton of cis men if they just watched it. I loved Hanuš even more than I expected. Turns out an emotionally wise & relatable alien is better than one that would gut me after all.

• Pop Team Epic (season 1 especially)

It's one of those out-of-pocket pieces of media that have a ridiculous production value and passion behind it. Like, genuine production value. It's like anything Studio Trigger has made. An old friend and I were obsessed with PTE during the pandemic and pretty much made it half our personality to like it and other media like it (e.g. Way of a House Husband, nyan neko sugar girls, Backstreet Girls (That was a solid 6/10. Good watch dude). I also have Cromartie High School on my watchlist we'll see how that goes)

Now onto some books & poetry

As some may know from reading my fics & following my Lawlight obsession, I'm a big fan of poetry. I enjoy Goete a lot. He's the only name I've consistently been satisfied by. Naturalism is just my tea, as is pretty plain to see in anything I create. I'm bad at reading due to ADHD but I get it done sometimes. Blood Meridian by Cormac McCarthy is insane. Paradise Lost is great. Can you tell I get my book recommendations from Wendigoon? Holes by Louis Sachar reminds me of kids at Wammy's House but also I like it because every plot point in it leads to a perfect circle and I never fail to be amazed by good writing like that.

My favorite music genre is anything that counts as goth music. Sometimes emo if MSI is emo (I know and I'm sorry. Guilty pleasure). Darkwave & Post-Punk are my go-to for over half the year, but I listen to anything if it captures a vibe well. Anything from Mitski & Penelope Scott to Depeche Mode, Twin Tribes, Vestron Vulture & Bragolin to Lady Gaga (empress of my childhood) to Odetari. Oddly enough, however, my favorite band is Glass Animals. Zaba is a masterpiece, but I love several songs from their other albums too (Hot Sugar, Pork Soda, Life Itself...)

I'm not a huge fan of irl shows but I have enjoyed all 6 seasons of Peaky Blinders for the second time last month and have seen Interview With The Vampire a couple months back. That one also left me extremely surprised with how good it was. I've been disappointed by 'queer' stories before. They were scrubbed of any realism and dumbed down to make them more palatable, which I just couldn't watch for the life of me. As you may know, IWTV is the complete opposite of that lol. I've also peeked into Hannibal a couple times. It was good but I don't have time like that.

Animated shows & manga that I enjoy are:

• Death Note ofc

• Kakegurui (I rewatch s1 & s2 every year. Last year twice, I think)

• [Naoki Urasawa's] Monster (animated by Madhouse♡ I've been considering rewatching that too...)

• Paradise Kiss (just hits different in summer. The outro is Do You Want To by Franz Ferdinand. Love that song)

• Madoka Magica (the themes are Crazy.)

• Chainsaw Man (as fucked as they are, Mappa's creative team absolutely devoured. The outros are all incredible)

• Buddy Daddies (>>>>Spy X Family)

• Dandadan is looking pretty good

• The Summer Hikaru Died manga (impressive pacing, stunning art work, stellar character writing👌)

• Over The Garden Wall🎃🍂🌲🖤

• Arcane (a masterclass in character writing)

Aaand • Gravity Falls because it's literally so good, not just as nostalgia

My favorite movies:

• ARRIVAL (man I have to rewatch that)

• every single Pirates of the Caribbean movie (how had I never seen them as a child? Kinda happy about it though. Now i got to enjoy it with my adult mind spoiler-free)

• Princess Mononoke (to the surprise of no one)

• Spirited Away

• Ponyo (the implied 'children can consent' part is iffy but it's magical. My first Ghibli movie)

• Shawshank Redemption

• Disney's Atlantis (yup. That's what I was super into as a child. Had those on cassette. Every Sunday... I'm convinced the whole experience of the misty town from the second movie has singlehandedly made me who I am today)

• Dou Kyu Sei

• Godzilla 2 (THE CGI???? Also I'm a monster enthusiast)

• Portrait of a Lady on Fire

• that fucking Czech Cinderella movie that's on TV every December

Thank you again for the ask, OP🙏🏻 I love sharing these things. Now my arm hurts

[freelanceexorcist]

Some more comments on the demo.

I'm not able to play it because I don't have a PS5 and there won't be one in the cards for a while, but I at least found a good, thorough playthrough that didn't have some streamer yammering over the dialogue, so that will have to do.

I'm writing as a I watch, so there's gonna be a lot here.

Cut for Rebirth spoilers (and a Game of Thrones one) and length.

-I loved seeing Sephiroth act and speak so casually! Back then, he really was just a guy, huh?

-And holy crap, is that seriously Caleb Pierce doing the voice of Shinra Security Officer Who Is Actually Cloud? Kinda on the nose, but I like it. Maybe in Cloud's dumpster fire of a psyche, not only does he remember being the SOLDIER 1st Class, but he remembers Zack as being the security guard.

-OMFG, Master Zangan! LOL, this fuckin guy. Three seconds after meeting Cloud he's feeling him up! And man, he's got some huge Patrick Warburton energy going on.

-Only three beds in the room at the inn? Guess one of the boys is gonna have to double up with Sephiroth.

-Let me just state for the record that I really like Cloud as a character. That said, when he was a teenager? He was, uh...a wee bit of a creeper. His favorite spot to hang out just happens to face what I assume is Tifa's bedroom window. And what does he do when he knows he's alone in the house? Goes into her bedroom and starts going through her stuff. At least the ladies called his ass out for that this time, because that sequence never did sit right with me.

-I'll bet Sephiroth was ready to buy Random Villager Guy a drink. RVG keeping those looky loos and stans away like a champ! He even had to keep them away from the INN! I really understand why he wanted nothing to do with the "hero" role. Yep, let Genesis go be the Taylor Swift of the FFVII-verse and see how HE likes it.

-Tifa is so tiny next to Sephiroth! Then again, everyone is. Dude's a freakin' TANK.

-Wow, that photographer's an even bigger asshole this time around. Seriously, dude? Taking a picture not only without Sephiroth's permission but when his back is turned?

-The "oh...FINE!" body language when Cloud asked, though.

-And I reiterate. Sephiroth. SUCH a bro here. All I hear is Clark Kent when he talks.

-So it just occurred to me that Sephiroth was deliberately the first one to fall in the river because he knew he'd have to save everyone and he didn't even know how far of a drop it was. That bridge collapsed under the sheer weight of his balls.

-And his horror and devastation at losing one of his men will never not gut me. Everyone was dry by the time he got back, so you know he was out there looking for that dude for a LONG time, too. That's a huge change from "sorry for your luck, pal, but we have a mission to finish." That's what makes his tragic fall all the more inexplicable. In the OG, his coldness had you thinking "yeah, I can see this guy having a Face-Heel Turn easy." But here? With him so protective of those weaker than him and his emotional investment in his people? You don't go from that to "burn them all," even when a severe mental breakdown is involved. I may talk more about this later. ("Oh. Yay." --everybody)

-*Sephiroth has joined the party*-

-Serious question: is there anything in the lore that I missed that states there's no PPE that can protect from mako? Because when Sephiroth said "mako this thick is very dangerous," I thought "maybe bring some respirators next time then?" Yeah, probably no NIOSH rating high enough to filter out spirit energy.

-Yep, definitely no love lost between Seph and the sperm donor.

-Yeah, Barret, it's not making a whole lot of sense to me either at this point.

-"Am I even...human?" Fuck. It's going even harder in Rebirth.

-And the library sequence. Double fuck. The rage in his voice at the end. The madness. And that strange breathing after he glitched? I'll bet he was trying to fight off Jenova and he failed. Sorry, Vincent, but I think Seph is the one that should be able to take out Hojo.

Aaaand that's enough self-imposed psychological torture for the day. I can't watch what comes next.

Jenova used his anger, his devastation and his sleep deprivation to get a toehold. Which makes me think, what if in the trilogy's lore she started piloting him? No, I don't mean controlling his mind or even heavily influencing him? What if she's using him as a vessel? I mean like the deities, angels and demons on Supernatural. She's driving the boat now, and he's in the back of his mind screaming, because he's aware of the things she's making her new meat suit do and he can't stop it.

I'm not trying to let anyone's dirty rotten CGI girlfriend-ganking butt off the hook here if anyone wants to accuse me of that sort of thing. I'm merely saying that burning a village full of innocents is not the actions to expect from the Sephiroth we've come to know in the demo. Yes, he's a SOLDIER who has probably had to do some very unpleasant things under orders, but there was no reason for this. Going from zero to genocide straight out of the blue is inexplicable, I don't care how bad the mental breakdown was.

It's just the only thing that makes sense at this point. People like him get angry, sure. They rage, sure. They swear vengeance on the people who wronged them, sure. But they don't kill innocent people because of it and in such a horrific way. At their most violent, they may find Hojo and try to see how loudly and for how long he can scream.

Bog standard villains don't get this kind of "good guy" lead up to their nefarious deeds, and he's getting that treatment big time from both Rebirth and Ever Crisis. That's usually only reserved for the Chaotic Neutral and redeemable types that were supposed to like. There's nothing in that backstory so far to suggest that he was capable of a Nibelheim-level mass murder. Sure, there's headcanons that he was just a fuse waiting to be lit, but nothing official even hints at that. This came out of NOWHERE.

Maybe I'm not seeing the big picture or whatever, but the extreme change in behavior, the senseless violence...why would FFVII do that to the audience? To torture us? That's just cruel. Even Game of Thrones didn't do the audience that dirty with Danaerys Targaryen (if you didn't see her Face-Heel Turn coming from a mile away, you were watching a different show than me, because she was always a Heel. She just brutalized people who had it coming until King's Landing.).

And I'm out. If you've managed to stick around this long or even read this at all, thank you. If you want to argue, please save it for another day because I'm REALLY not in the mood. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go drink. A lot.

[this-daydream-is-dangerous-13]

Rolling Stone Mitch profile!! Written by beloved Rob Sheffield!!

Some of these quotes legit made me 😭😭.

It’s a great rock & roll story — from slanging slices to conquering castles. But in typical understated style, he refuses to take any credit. “I’m only prepared to play a place like Slane because of all the places Harry’s taken me, and then I’m only playing my music to anyone because of him,” he says. He also won’t accept credit for the meteoric Styles phenomenon, despite co-writing and playing on so many hits. He’s still the same dude who didn’t want to quit the pizzeria. (“I needed the check for the rent,” he says.)

“Harry could have picked any group of people when he decided he was going to go solo,” Rowland continues. “He was massive — he was larger than life. I still can’t believe he wanted to make music with someone who had zero credit to their name, when he could have done the opposite so easily, and everyone would’ve said yes. I’ll never quite get over that.”

But Harry’s gut instincts about Mitch turned out to be justified, to say the least. “He just had a feeling, which says a lot,” Rowland says. “I’ve learned a lot from Harry, but a lot of the most important stuff is to just trust the people around you, and let something be whatever it’s going to be.”

And this Matilda quote!!

A few years ago, it might have seemed weird to cross over between pop and folk, as Rowland does on Come June. But it’s a sign that pop audiences have gotten more broad-minded. Whenever Styles sings the intensely emotional ballad “Matilda,” with Rowland on acoustic guitar, you can hear a pin drop in the room, even in a stadium. The hush is poignant — nobody even sings along. “Well, everybody’s crying,” Rowland says. “I never play that song facing the crowd. One night I thought, ‘Why don’t I just try it one time facing the crowd?’ But it was too much. It was deep into the tour, and all of a sudden, I’m paying attention, and I almost stopped playing. I thought, ‘God, this is what we’ve been playing every night?’”

He is such a good man; I love him and Sarah so much. Teary fans would stop them for photos this summer and Sarah would earn them “you’ll make me cry too!” when they sobbed out compliments.

Anyway - read it! Rob Sheffield (OG Haylor) 4eva.

[firespirited]

a vague post I made a year ago just got confirmed by hbomberguy's twist.

no-one will ever know but this is a note to myself that it's not the first time, more importantly it's also not the first time I tried to talk myself out of being a cynical hater.

I do NOT do vibes or gut based anything, I just keep a mental note of when people do something from the playbook of various manipulative people i've known and emotionally pull back slightly. (In this case I went down a rabbithole and found a lot of what's presented)

Sometimes, if it's closer to home, i'll write letters to never be sent; decide whether it's something I can move past when i'm done writing, because every circumstance is different. This is superficial internet entertainer stuff, i'm really gesturing to broader patterns about more personal and IRL stuff here.

-------------------------------

You know how I like to add "further reading" on some movie reviews? I like to go to video essay and article sources and do the reading if it's not too dense.

So I spent the first part of the hbomberguy video seething about a 2h video I once watched about end of the world theories in western culture that turned out to be ripped wholesale from early 2000s PBS that was a 30 minute read with many more sources for further research. It had seemed so legit, of course it was good, it was PBS: they cited experts in their fields.

There are other youtubers who make books or chapters from books digestible and I'm going to keep my mouth shut on that because youtube is full of regurgitated stuff (ever tried to get an ending explained and get a TTS wikipedia summary instead?), these are often people with less work options and sometimes the books are quite tough reads that I needed help getting into:

yeah i'm including the dude who did a read through of Dune while skipping all the boring bits and getting out the explanation charts when things got complicated because that's actually a great way to absorb Dune... while also very mildly side-eyeing everyone who read How to Blow up a Pipeline or All about Love by bell hooks and decided to spoon-feed its uncomplicated messages back without much transformative value.

But stuff like Foucault and Federici are so academic, I actively seek out the digested bite sized bits with examples of how it applies, it's practically written in a foreign language with how each term has its own history and meaning and you end up with twenty wikipedia pages open to get through 5 pages.

On a positive note: I would like to shout out delightful Tee Noir who releases pop culture videos that, let's say, spread the seed for other videos that often get more attention.

-------------------------

PS: Dear past!me, maybe you're not inflicted with a "spirit of bitterness" but have a good nose for spotting bullies who pretend to be nice people. Dear future!me, could you remember this for once or must we always do this mental song and dance?

[multimagical]

The Ghost of Melbrew

Book 1 of 12 in the Multimagical series by Lillian R.S.

Masterlist

Chapter 5 - "A Strange Book"

Word Count: 3,800

Wattpad / Main: @lillianrs

Friendly criticism welcome

Continue reading below the cut and enjoy! <3

●●●

       The next day, It was Wednesday, and I woke up to my alarm blaring at 5am as I went through my usual morning routine. Cameron and Dominik had given me their phone numbers the night before. That morning, I awoke with a text from Cameron.

       He texted me at like, two in the morning, to tell me to bring the book they gave me to school that day, and to be careful with it... Well, his exact text was:

       "Yo dude u need 2 bring the book tmrw I wanna read that shit w my eyes at lunch n kai ll be back cuz he told me n he never read the whole thin he has his own vers but that aint important rn yea thx m8 b careful bc if u ruin that bk kim ll be mad bc she ws the 1 who had the guts 2 steal it in the 1st place ok ye that it thx"

      ...I really hope Dominik is the one who types out those reports they were talking about.

      I placed the book safely into my backpack, said goodbye to my parents, and headed down the road to school. The morning announcements were as follows:

      "Good morning Melbrew students. Today is Wednesday, September 28th, 2016. For lunch today, the cafeteria will be serving hamburgers, tomorrow will be pizza. The breakfast for tomorrow will be French toasts sticks. If you are going on Ms. Hogg's field trip this spring, your permission slips are due before Christmas break. Sign ups for the book and history clubs will be tomorrow, and they will be meeting every other week. Have a good day, Melbrew."

      I went about my mundane day, and then lunch time finally came. I hadn't gotten a chance to talk to anyone yet, as the classes were busy, and the teachers were talkative. I was eager to start up a conversation.

      "Wassup my dudes!" Cameron said as a greeting as he practically threw his tray on the table, making a loud sound. He slammed it down, causing some of his food to fly off the tray, making a few people to look towards us due to the sound.

     "Jesus, dude. I thought you said the school's food was poisonous or something?" I said, Gesturing at his tray of lunch food.

      "I like to live life on the edge, gambling with death is my favorite hobby! And if I do get sick I can sue them. They actually stopped giving out broccoli because all of it always had mold on it. It was like that for a few months until the kids decided to start speaking up about it and became persistent. They literally did not care, like it wasn’t a big deal."

      "God, that's gross. They really didn't care?" I questioned.

      "Nope. Don't get it, never will. Blows my fucking mind, dude." He said, and changed the subject, "Did you bring the book like I asked you to?"

      "Yes, but you should be thankful. Trying to decode that message after just waking up gave me a headache!" I said, and pulled the book out of my bag. Dominik took it out of the case he gave me and flipped it open.

      "So, what did you think?" He asked.

      "It's pretty crazy, but definitely interesting. It feels like I'm in a mystery novel, but maybe that's just because I fantasize about it, like, all the time."

      "Well, you're definitely in the right town for a mystery!" Cameron said, "This book is full of all sorts of things. A lot of it is anonymous re-writes of people's experience while being on the property, or in the graveyard right next to it. It's like you're reading some kinda ghost documentary, but it takes place where you live. It’s fucking cool, dude."

      There was the gentle sound of a tray hitting the table right next to me, the complete opposite of Cameron.

      “Is that the book?" Kai asked, monotone as always.

      "Yes! It's here in all its glory!" Cameron said, and slid it over to him.

      Kai flipped through the pages, a blank expression on his face. "I've never read this properly. You said it's pretty much a collection of stories, right? The ones that we have, but with a professional analysis?" His voice still monotone, not even changing pitch when he asks a question.

      "Yup." Cameron said, "What about you? You bring yours?"

      He said nothing, and pulled a book out of his own bag, the same one that he was reading in the library on Monday, on my first day. He placed the book on the table, "Kimi took this from the library a while ago. I only found out about it recently because she didn't want me to know."

      The book looked incredibly old. Its grey, hardback cover was peeling back, and I could tell that it was a faded black, worn away over the years. Its thick pages were ripped, brown, stained, and wrinkled. It had scratches, and burn marks, and what even looked like blood stains. The previously golden accents of metal were now dull and bronzed. In the center of the book was the faded lettering of "Lord Lutho" both engraved and written over in black ink.

      We opened the book, and were greeted with an unfamiliar language. And when I say unfamiliar, I mean I've never seen it before in my life. It was in some kind of language we couldn't even try to read, it looked like the same alphabet we use, but not exactly, it was slightly different. It almost looked as if the person writing just took a keyboard and just began spam typing nonsense, but with a pen and their hand... while also not knowing what exactly letters look like.

      As we flipped through the old dirty pages, there were black ink drawings of different kinds of creatures, and what I assume to be a description of the magic they have, but we couldn't read it. There were pages on what I’d assume to be multiple mythical creatures, different kinds of aliens, different sections of angels and demons, it was weird. There was one page in specific that caught our attention, though. There was a drawing of two conjoined twins, holding a conjoined cat. The title read:

Sah Heirfix Gdrmhz: Prinsezzhz Noctis a Umbra Papilio. Lu sah mrtsg, drgs hszwvhz lu gris, za shadow dzh xzhg, a gsviv dvi gdrmhz.

      "The something something, princesses Noctis and Umbra Papilio? Is that what it says?" Cameron asked.

     "That's a good guess," Dominik said, "the only word I can make out in the second sentence is Shadow... isn't Noctis, Umbra, and Papilio Latin for Night, Shadow, and Butterfly?"

     "Bro who do you think I am, someone who speaks Latin?" Cameron said, "You're lucky I speak English!"

      "Are you sure this is real?" I questioned, skeptically.

      "Mayhaps." Cameron said. "Don't you believe these creatures can exist? Because if you don't, you're gonna have a hard time here, mate."

      "Who wrote this?" Dominik asked Kai.

      "Someone named Lord Lutho, I don't know. That's the only name on the book. Just the words Lord Lutho." Kai went and looked the name up on his phone, but strangely nothing came up.

      We didn't give the book much attention, it didn't seem real. Something like a fantasy book written to seem real for fun visuals. Couldn't quite figure out why it wasn't written in English though. Or any other known language for that matter. Or why there wasn't some actual name on it somewhere. Guess it was just for visual aesthetics, like an art book or something.

      The rest of the day went on, and the dreaded biology class came about. Veronica was very vocal about how much she didn't want to work with me, and how gross and disgusting these projects were. She said she would pay me to do the whole thing for her, by myself, which actually sounded like a good idea to me.

      This girl was a bitch, and an even bigger bitch to work with. She offered me 500 whole dollars right then and there if I would agree! You're telling me I don't have to work with her, and also get 500 bucks? Sign me the hell up! I took the deal. I decided to do the plant project, where I have to collect 15 different plants. That seemed like the easiest to me.

      Once that God awful class period finally ended, I went and exited through the back doors as I do. Cameron and Dominik met me, but today Kai was with them as well.

      "Hi, Emmy." Dominik said, exiting with Cameron and Kai.

      "Kai's comin' wit’ us today," Cameron said, "he just told us he's got some good ass story from when he and Kimi were gone from school yesterday. Ya wanna come with? We're going to the apartments again."

      "Pfft, you kidding? There's no way I'm NOT coming!"

      "Great!" Cameron said, "The more people in on this shit the better! Kimi doesn't seem to agree, though."

      "We ditched school and found something," Kai said, "we have to get Kimi now."

      He, Dominik, and Cameron began to walk down the street to the middle school, and Cameron gestured for me to follow them. I quickly finished up with texting me mom. I told her I would be going to the apartments again, and then quickly ran to catch up with them.

      "So what do you mean you found something?" I asked Kai when I reached them.

      He shrugged, "We looked around the woods and found something."

      "Okay but WHAT did you find?" Cameron asked, barely able to wait, voice laced with impatient, annoyed excitement.

      "We will tell you when we get there."

      We walked to the middle school, where Kimi was waiting. She immediately punched Cameron in the arm, gave me a dirty look, and went off down the wooded road leading to the apartments.

      I stood confused for a moment, "...Why did she do that?" I asked.

      "She fucking hates me, dude!" Cameron said, then laughed. We continued on and I followed the group down the streets, all the way to the apartments.

      "Hey Mrs. Johnson." Kai greeted Cameron's mother as we entered their apartment room.

      "Hello Kai! Hello Kimi!" She said, "And hello to you too, Emmy!"

     "Hello!" I said back, and followed the group into Cameron's bedroom, shutting the door behind me.

      "Gimme that juicy ass scoop, it should be illegal to make me wait this long!" Cameron said, crashing down on a blue bean bag chair, "Yo, Dom, pass me the cheese-its! Imma needa snack for this one."

      Dominik rolled his eyes a bit, but grabbed the box off a shelf and tossed it to him.

      Kai sat at his desk, while Kimi sat on top of it. Dominik took a seat on his bed, and I did, too.

      "Well," Dominik said, gesturing to the room, "go on, tell us!"

      "Kai and I were out skipping school at the baseball field yesterday. We were taking turns at hits until I got bored of it. We decided to go out and look in the woods around the place, but then we found something weird."

     Kai pulled out his cracked old phone, "I took some photos, but the quality isn't very good." He said as he flipped his phone to us. Through the cracks and bad quality, some sort of strange hole could be seen. "We got stuck in the rain so we couldn't stay very long."

      "Yo, dude, that looks like a portal to Hell or some shit." Cameron said, taking the phone from him. “Oh my God, I hope it’s a portal to Hell, that would be so fucking sick!”

      "I threw a stick down it. It's really deep." Kimi said.

      "That's not the only thing that's-" Cameron started, but Dominik threw a pillow at his face before he could finish.

      "What do you think it is?" I asked.

      "We have no idea." Kimi said, "We wanna go down and check it out this weekend if anyone wants to come with us."

      "Aw hell naw." Dominik said.

      "AW HELL YEAH!" Cameron yelled.

      I scoffed, "Oh, absolutely!"

      "Anyone except for you." She said.

      "Nope. She's comin' whether you like it or not." Cameron said.

      "Can confirm. I'm coming, no exceptions!" I said. "I've wanted this for ages."

      "I don't like her." She said, blatantly.

      "Well news flash, kid, you're not the person who gets to decide who's a part of this group or not." Cameron said.

     "I volunteer to not go in place of Emmy." Dominik said.

      "How about after school on Friday?" Kai suggested, changing the conversation.

      "Yeah, that should be good." I said.

      "I'm down to fuck with death any day!" Cameron said, punching his palm with his fist.

     "No." Dominik said. "I'm actually very busy on Friday, how about we change it to uhhh, to..."

      "Okay then, so Friday?" Kai asked for confirmation.

      "Yup." Cameron and I said.

      "I- no! I did not consent to this." Dominik said.

       "Friday!" Cameron and I cheered, while Dominik looked defeated. We continued to chant, "Fri-day! Fri-day! Fri-day!"

       We all went on to relax a bit. I properly introduced myself to Kimi and Kai, and we got to know each other a little bit better. Neither of them were really big talkers, so it was mostly me, but Kai was much more friendly than Kimi, even though Kimi was much more talkative than Kai.

      We all officially decided to come back to the apartments on Friday, after doing a bit of convincing with Dominik. We were going to take the nature trail that's down on that same road and follow it.

      Kimi and Kai said that they remembered where it was located, and that it shouldn't be a problem to stray from the path a bit to find it. That way it'd be harder to get lost. At five o'clock we all went home. The next day was Thursday, the day for the club sign-ups.

      The speaker beeped, followed by the typical static, "Good morning Melbrew students. Today is Thursday, September 29th, 2016. For lunch today, the cafeteria will be serving pizza, tomorrow will be ham sandwiches. The breakfast for tomorrow will be waffles. If you are going on Ms. Hogg's field trip in the spring, your permission slips are due before Christmas break. Sign ups for the book club, and History club, will be today in the cafeteria, and they will be meeting every other week. Have a good day, Melbrew."

      It had brushed over my head for the past few days, but I noticed it now. What was Ms. Hogg's field trip? She hadn't mentioned it at all during class, not even once.

       The day was average. I went and asked Dominik, Cameron, and Kai about the field trip, but they said they didn't know what it was for, either. Kai and I both had her as our biology teacher, but he said he didn't care enough to pay attention.

      I wanted to ask her myself, but approaching that teacher felt like it was a death sentence. Unfortunately, I didn't have any other ways of finding out. I was curious about it, and if I wanted to know, I would just have to find the guts to do it and ask her directly... oh boy, time to mentally prepare myself, I suppose.

      At lunch us four signed up for the history club, and a few other kids did, too. Kai snuck angry glances at them. Because of the presence of other kids, we'd have to hide the true nature of the club from them with a fake meeting. Once ninth period came to be, I took a few deep breaths as I walked down that silent, eerie hallway, thinking about what I was gonna say when I had to face that unsettling teacher.

      "Um, excuse me, Ms. Hogg?" I asked, walking into her classroom, then over to her desk. I felt so nervous, which rarely happens to me... yet it's happened constantly since moving here, and it's not even been a week yet!

      "What?" She said, voice lightly coated in annoyance, not looking up from whatever she was writing.

      "I noticed on the announcements this morning that you are going to be having a field trip this spring, may I ask what it's about?"

      She grumbled and mumbled a little bit before speaking, "I'm gonna be taking' everyone down to the ocean by the Pacific to look at all the different critters, but yins gotta pay for it. Ain't taking no one fo' free."

      "Oh, how much is the price?"

      She mumbled something under her breath, and went to dig through her desk before shoving a paper in front of me, "jus' take this and go sit down."

      "Oh, uh, okay, thank you!" I said, and took the paper to my desk. Veronica came in soon after and scoffed at my paper, disgusted.

      "Are you really thinking about going on that gross field trip?"

      "Huh. It's almost like someone is paying me 500 dollars to do the project." I said, "I think it would be a wise investment to get all the help I can with it." She rolled her eyes at me, the bell rang, and Ms. Hogg got on with her class.

      I thought a field trip to the ocean would be pretty cool! It also said the pay fee was only $20! I tucked the paper away into my bookbag, and walked home once the school day had ended. Completely opposite to Tuesday's pouring rain, it was a sunny sky with warm air and cool winds.

      "Wow, look hun! She's home today!" My mom said when I came inside.

      "Holy cow! Does she actually like us?" My dad said from the kitchen, preparing dinner.

      "Of course I like you."

      "Really?" My mom said, surprised, "You like us better than those boys?" She winked.

      I internally cringed and laughed awkwardly, "Yeah, okay. Is it okay if I hangout again tomorrow, though? We all have plans. Cameron, Dominik, Kai, Kimi, and I."

      "Of course you can, sweetie!" Mom said. "As long as you don't talk about murders or ghosts."

      "Okay thank you," I said, and ran up the stairs to my room. I rolled my eyes when I was out of sight. Oh, the cringe. I was ready to hit my head off the wall for three consecutive hours now.

      I changed into pajamas because I didn't have any other plans that evening. I decided to turn on the little television in my room and see what was on. All of my social media timelines were dry and I didn't feel like reading at the moment. I didn't have the mental capacity to actually do anything… maybe I should've went and hit my head off the wall for three consecutive hours?

      I began flipping through the channels, watching for a few seconds to decide if I wanted to stay, but nothing was really catching my eye. That is until I got to the local news station. How strange that the news is the only interesting thing on TV.

      I've watched the local station before, but usually it's nothing good. Just a dry old story of, "Wow, look at this beaver dam in the river!" Or, "This squirrel forgets how to climb! #funny" and small town stuff like that.

      This news story, however, was very different from the usual local reports. It was about this woman whose house was allegedly being haunted, according to her at least. I flipped to the channel when they were inside the house talking about the supposed spirit. She said that that she'll wake up and find the magnets on her fridge in different orders, or will hear strange bumps in the night. She said everyone in her family denied getting up and doing it.

      I wondered who she was, exactly. Her name was Laura Nova. I noticed that she lived in a house down at the base of the hill, by the library and mansion. The same side of town I was on. One of her daughters then came on screen, her name was Ava Nova.

      I knew that she was ten years old, and I think that was the age of a fourth grader. She showed the camera her scars on her neck, saying that she'll wake up with them randomly. They were in the shapes of scratches, but they didn't break the skin. Just red marks that seemed to stay. They then brought in a priest and were blessing the house and all that stuff.

      They went on to talk about how they found a mysterious little key that they hadn't seen before. Well, actually, it was anything but little, it was two feet long! Ava found it in the basement while she and her older sister, Nora, were cleaning up. It was old, gold, and didn't go with any lock in the house, obviously. They said it was weird but they weren't sure of what else it could be, that thing was huge! Because of that, I assumed it was just a decoration.

      Once that story was over, I got out my phone and went to text the chat I was added in. I didn't notice until now, but Cameron had named it, Stupid Name for a Group chat. I rolled my eyes and opened the empty chat.

You: hey first text

You: anyways

You: do you guys know Ava or Nora Nova?

Cameron: yuh ik nora y

You: Ava, Nora, and their mom were just on the local news station. Ava has scars all over her. They think they're haunted

Cameron: YO DUDE DAY SICK

Cameron: DAT

Dominik: I was watching that, I'm casual friends with Nora, she's a girl in our grade. Don't know her that well, though. It's been going on for a few weeks now, but the paranormal activity has only just started recently

You: I think she's in my gym class now that i think about it???

Cameron: u shld tlk 2 her

Cameron: in gym

You: I will

Cameron: Gud I gtg c u tmrw its sleepi time

You: It’s… five in the afternoon????

Cameron: i was up til 3 am yestefr day dont judge me

      The conversation ended there, and I turned off the TV. I decided to continue reading my book. I was still relatively at the beginning of the book. I started reading when I got here, called The MMR. It stands for Multicolored Monochrome room. It was about a 9 year old girl named Crynn who could see things that others couldn't, which led the cast somewhere strange, with even stranger people. It was a good book to put me in the mood of strange discoveries.

      As I slept that night I wondered if what those two found in the woods could be my world's MMR?

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[27-liter-horse]

10.10.24. part 2

Financial manipulation by my own father to not get an F (threatening to stop paying the rent on our old house and forcing us to move if I keep getting bad grades which literally consist of a single F in physics) was not on my 2024 bucket list but I got an F in maths today anyway. HOWEVER she wont write my grade until tuesday where I can fix my grade doing THE EASIEST question on the exam (which I still failed :,) ) also I severely cut myself and there are a lot of scars I am not sad or depressed and especially not suicidal (the last thing I want to do is to be remembered as the pathetic bitch who killed herself) its more of a boredom thing. Anyways my sister saw it and she just had to YELL out for everyone to hear that I cut myself. My mom later found out and will snitch on me to my father tommorow. Dear God...Also it is a perfect time for me to rant about my sister because I swear to God I have grown so distant from this girl despite us being in the same room 90 percent of the time when we arent at school. She is prettier than me, she is younger, she is the popular girl at her school unlike me and is daddys girl meaning that she will get to do so many things that I couldnt at her age. She also might be a lesbian, given how much she loves to take upon the role of being my second mother despite being a leap year younger than me. She always turns on me and always screams out the worst possible thing when she knows I am trying to hide something. She doesnt even tell me good morning anymore she just tries to start an argument with me. She hates my guts and I can feel it because we could be arguing about the dumbest shit ever and she is going to run out of good arguments to use against me so she just starts using personal shit I told her (AND TRUSTED HER WITH) and keeps telling me I am fucked up, invalidates me, calls me a creature, mocks me...Sometimes she talks to me like she is about to hit me 1950s husband arriving to a poorly cooked meatloaf style. And what does my beautiful father do? Keep telling ME that she wil be my only friend when we grow up (fucking socialize you psycho that isnt normal) and keeps dissmising everything she does because she is the favourite who will obey them and continue the family legacy while I am a failure.

Also the dude who gave me an identity crisis can lick my balls I am NEVER gonna stop obsessing over female rage and knowing women are better than men