Sometimes your wildly angry and hateful response to a piece of media has nothing to do with the actual piece of media and has everything to do with your own triggers.
Let me explain: sometimes a piece of media uses a common human failing. Something that happens all the time. To explore humanity within the confines of the story, as stories often do.
Sometimes, for you, that small human failing is the crux of the pain and anger you carry inside. Sometimes even the smallest and least harmful version of it, to quote RWRB, tears all the way down through the floor and into the sub-basements. Beyond where anyone would think that small human failing might go.
Because for you, it’s not what’s happening on screen but the painful things that have happened to you and you haven’t dealt with. You’ve locked them in a box or you’ve festered in them. Made it part of your personality to be against anyone or anything that carries this common human failing. Because the person that hurt you is, in your mind, a monster. You’ve divorced this action from humanity and you’ve made it that it’s only a thing that bad people or monsters do.
And the way the characters are treating this common human failing that happens every day is not how you want to handle it. Or is perhaps how you handled it and you wished you didn’t. And it makes you so incandescently angry.
When that happens, my loves, I want you to sit with it and ask yourself why you’re so incandescently angry or sad. Feel your feelings. Examine what it means when a character you love does something you equate with being monstrous. Or even more dangerous, when a character you love forgives something that you deem monstrous. Or if the failings of the characters remind you of yourself in some way. What is hiding underneath the anger and sadness? Is it shame? Is is loneliness? Is it worthlessness? Is it invalidation?
Because this is why the character who is genocidal mass murderer/serial killer is your poor little meow meow and the character with the every day failings is the worst character ever to exist. Because we look for the humanity in monsters, especially when we feel monstrous. But when a character is framed as human and shows a failing, we demonize them, because they remind us of our monsters who were also human. And I want you to think about it. Sometimes.
You have the choice at any time to stop engaging with a piece of media because it’s too painful or too raw or you’re not ready. But that doesn’t make that piece of media bad or evil (mostly there are some exceptions for the writings by the worst of humanity).
Take care of yourself. Please. 💜💜
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What makes you think that Arthur is a person of color? :0 just curious.
gladly.
so, at first, i thought it was me projecting but i think the first clue i got was eddie. yall might think i’m being dramatic but eddie was…suspicious from the get-go. in a normal situation like this, there’s actually 0% chance that it turns out the way it did for arthur.
but that’s beside the point. eddie knocks on the door and receives an unhurried response. he walks away to do.. whatever it is he was doing. arthur comes to the door, opens it, looks around and picks up some trash, muttering to himself. suddenly eddie has urgent business inside the office with a. flimsy excuse at best. strike one.
we, as the audience, know that arthur is being shifty because he’s just killed a man. eddie has been told, quite convincingly, that arthur was moving… boxes or something (im looking at the transcript, arthur just says ‘not furniture’ so…). and that arthur is working with sensitive documents. not sure if you know this but private detectives have to work with proper authorities to be allowed to operate legally. that means they work with the police and the courts. when a PI says a document is sensitive, they mean legally. they mean eyes only. they mean ‘come back later or i could lose my fucking license because you got the wrong look at classified documents.’ a building manager, especially their building manager, should know that. strike two.
he also asks for arthur’s partner, peter yang (who is, i can only assume, an east asian man). i should hope that i dont have to remind you that this is massachusetts in the 30’s we’re talking about, and what that means logically. but i will. america hated asian people the most they ever did until COVID in the 30s through the 60s. the only people they hated more were black and brown people. no matter how shifty and suspicious arthur was acting, eddie would’ve been… let’s just say ‘incredibly unlikely’ to ask for peter instead of the white man. strike three
there’s some little bits about subvocals and tone that i could say, but it’d be a lot and i don’t fully understand it enough to explain well why eddie set off alarms for me. because i dont have to. it takes 5 minutes (from 11:48-16:09 on spotify, so nearly exactly) for eddie to go from inconvenient, to annoying, to suspicious, to violent. and he ends the conversation with a very real threat of violence that essentially boils down to ‘don’t come back to the building again.’ eddie is a maintenance man. he did not have the power to evict anyone. unless, of course, they were a poc. so why was arthur worried about eddie when sneaking back into the building?
but, like i said, i thought i was projecting. projection and being-on-the-lam can easily explain arthur’s hesitance when delivering the baby and asking for a ride. or the gunshop in part 6. but the lighthouse? no, what really solidified it for me was the end of part 8.
here’s what officer collin knows so far: a visibly disabled man has stumbled, confused and upset, away from a lighthouse and a body that CANNOT have been killed by a human; and it is dark outside. that’s it. using this knowledge, he then proceeds to beat said man. brutally. repeatedly.
in part 9 they learn he is blind and when that timid little fucker (mitchell) expresses doubt, collin says this
this is something we like to call coerced confession. arthur did not kill that man (the lighthouse keeper). officer collin knows that arthur didn’t kill that man. (dont play, he knows.) but because it is convenient to say that he did, they’ll threaten and torture him until he says that he did.
now, friends, i’m not going to lie to your face and say that white folk are safe from the cops, youre not, i know. but what im also not going to do is pretend like there os any world in which this happens and arthur is visibly white. not in the thirties, not in america. despite being forgotten or unmentioned they are in the midst of the great depression, the exact last thing these small-town cops need is the arrest of a blind white man on their hands. regardless, i have never ever heard of a cop speaking this way to a white person unprovoked. i, on the other hand, have been spoken to this way myself.
this is already quite long and it doesn’t even cover the sheer magnitude of people who feel comfortable calling arthur (at his grown ass age of visibly-an-adult) ‘boy.’ or the wicked and downright racist way that larson says it, (genuinely. it sounds like he’s a middle school boy who discovered the word ‘fagg*t’ for the first time the way he says it. i couldn’t tell you how many times that word (boy) drove an ice pick through my fucking skull this season.) but i hope you can at least get the picture.
original post is here
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Happy Wednesday. Texting from zombieland because May just doesn't want too be gentle to me and I'm so achy.
But also enough whining. This is a rough excerpt from an upcoming chapter of First Aid <3
The metal railings force them to sit pressed in and with their legs dangling through the bars. Carlos’ hand winds over TK’s shoulders, one of the new ways they touch casually that he still has to talk himself into initiating, while TK’s palm warms his knee. A photo album is spread over their thighs.
TK truly was a cute kid, chubby and big headed and tooth-gap mouthed and rumple-shirted and messy-haired and absolutely recognizable still from the little mischief in his smile and eyes. He has story for every single photo. Carlos listens and learns. He wishes he could show his own now; his father used to be into photography and he has three albums to prove it.
The only photos he can offer on this borrowed phone, he finds his tia’s facebook page because she never fails to post an embarrassing picture of him each birthday. TK quickly clutches the phone and zooms in, cooing at the untamed curls he had as a toddler and laughing at him wearing his father’s ranger’s hat when he was five.
“I want a copy of this one!” TK says, tilting the screen so Carlos can look in horror at his fifteen-year-old self.
“No way!”
It's an old photo taken by his dad’s digital cam that somehow still captured the pimples on Carlos’ face and the awkward shadow of patchy stubble that was darker than most classmates (so he shaved, so he got even more pimples).
“Please!” TK begs, batting his eyelashes of his spring green eyes at him. “Look at baby-you and the tiny cow in your lap! I can't!”
“No.”
“And the giant cowboy hat swallowing half your face.”
“Kennedy-”
“Oh back to that name?” TK asks with a smirk. “Come on. You look so cute. If you’d have been in my class I would have pined over you. I’d have doodled little hearts on the sides of my binders that I wrote poems in.”
“Is that what you did when you had a crush?” Carlos asks, brushing a lock of hair from TK’s forehead that the wind blew there.
TK snuggles in closer, rubbing his head into Carlos’ shoulder like an alley cat he once proclaimed they both were.
“Not really.” TK mumbles against his shirt. “I was out, but I didn’t want people to know when I had a crush. I had a reputation to lose.”
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