#i swear to god this is how shit that poor folks do that is just common sense gets turned into 'chic trends' like pallet wood furniture | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

transparentkinks · 3 months ago

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What if the pre-war government censored all information on sexual health?

You should know I wrote this with my entire p#@sy. MDNI

Nora never really considered herself sheltered. All things considered she thought she was rather open minded. Anatomy and burns never made her squeamish, she was a battle medic, and then a trauma surgeon for hell’s sake. When she served she was often praised for her ability to keep it together even in the most hellish circumstances. When it comes to injuries encountered in battle, especially in regards to prisoners of war or those left too long alone in drastic environments, Nora was who they called. When the wounds before them were so gruesome it got to even the most seasoned surgeon, Nora was one of the few members on staff that people could count on to stay composed till the patient was stable. The things she’d seen, god the things she’d smelled… and beyond just violence and gore, she’s cussed, heard locker room talk, mothered herself a child, and she’ll never really forget that time with her company crawling around in a field looking for the dismembered penis of the poor bastard who caught the business end of a pretty nasty car bomb. Despite the propaganda of her small town she liked to believe that she treated people the same no matter what they believed in or looked like. When she crawled out of that vault she managed to swallow down her grief and face the wasteland. She accepted that life would always be stranger than fiction and started collecting friends that looked like they belonged in comic books. She learned fast and adapted to a world that had changed plenty without her.

So what the fuck were her friends talking about?

“I mean it man, I swear to god when I went down on her that rug was braided”

“No way, who in their right mind spends time braiding down there?” Piper looked at Hancock like his ear just fell off.

“I guess some girls in the capital are just different” Hancock shrugged with a tipsy grin before talking another sip from his beer. “Different strokes for different folks and all that.”

“I call bullshit” Macreedy spoke up. “Some chick in the capital isn’t gonna have any more time to be so weird about her hygiene than anyone in the commonwealth.”

“They do got that bigass water purifier down there, maybe they get to shower more and it does something weird to their brain” Deacon interjected, shit eating grin having not moved from his face since the second he sat down with the group with his bowl of stew and a bottle of whisky to pass amongst the group. In fact Nora was fairly certain his distinctive grin had only grown as the conversation got more confusing.

“Before ze war, zhey studied people’s brainz and why zhey might do strange zhings. Some diagnozis did mention zat a persons’s environment can induze compulzive behaviors, especially vhen expozed to trauma. Most of zhe examples were concerning cleanliness and hygiene.” Curie spoke up, and finally Nora felt like she was understanding what was being said. Though, She wasn’t entirely sure how they got to their current conversation topic. “If a perzon feels such compulsizons and findz zemselves vith zhe means, zhey may indulge zhemselves even to zhe point vhere ve find zheir behavior strange.”

“Well, I guess she could be considered odd. Becoming a ghoul isn’t exactly non-traumatic, but if it really is because of the water purifier than I wouldn’t mind everyone getting a little more weird. She nearly tasted like water” Tasted??? Who tastes someone during sex? Well, she guessed Nate had liked sucking her breasts, especially after having shawn, but she thought it would probably taste more salty. They had to be talking about sex if Preston's face was anything to go by. The man looked like he was simultaneously trying to hide behind his drink and shrink back into his coat. Hancock was looking away fondly when Cait slugged his shoulder.

“Man I’ve seen you put a slice of cram in between two snack cakes and call it a fancy sandwich. And then ate it. I don’t trust your sense of taste”

“Yeah!” Curie spoke up. “You zaid zath you can’t taste anyzhing since you turned ghoul!” A choir of yeah’s arose around her from Piper, Macreedy, Deacon, and Cait.

“Those are the words of a person who has never tried a fancy sandwich.” John waggled a finger at Cait. “You should know that’s a ghoul delicacy.”

“What are we talking about?” Danse strode over to the group following the cheers from the corner of the settlement bar.

“Only the finest delicacies available to a person.” Hancock grinned at the synth cheekily.

“Danse you’ve been to the capital wasteland before, did girls start tasting different after that water drama?” Deacon stood to drag the synth down into the already crowded booth. Danse suddenly looked very much like he wanted to leave.

“I’m not telling you about my sexual encounters.” Ah, so It was about sex.

“Oh come on! You’re no fun.” Deacon laughed and shoved Danse as he squeezed into the booth.

“You know for all your expertise on retrieving important information I'm surprised you’re withholding this essential data.” Piper jabbed, and with a wiggle of her eyebrows passed the whiskey to Danse. “No way this reporter can get a scoop?”

“Wrong hands and all that.” Danse sniffed before taking a swig.

“And therefore!” Hancock slammed his hands on the table and looked pointedly at Macreedy Curie and Cait. “None of you can prove that pussy did not taste different after that water debacle.” Nora was trying to put it together in her mind what they were describing looked like, fighting off a blush as her mind wandered.

“Does it even matter if there’s a difference?” Nick sighed past his cigarette, adding another puff of smoke into the already slightly opaque air of the concrete building.

“Ov course it doze” Curie slurred. While she had yet to touch any chems beyond stimpacks and the occasional med-x after a rough fight, curie was clearly enjoying ‘zhe social ritual of zhelebratory inebriation’ as she had put it. Especially since John used his connections to find her some pot, a drug she apparently had medical reason to trust more than alcohol. The first time Curie tried a shot she spat it out and talked extensively about how it burned. Right now she was enjoying a small rum and nuka (The only way she could tolerate any alcohol) and passing a joint between herself, John, and Cait. “It could be a healtz indicator! In regardz to zex, zhis is important, yes?”

“Or” Macreedy interjected, seeming rather done with this conversation. “Maybe we’re all a bunch of gross fucks and pussy tastes good if its hydrated. For all we know that was just basic pre-war and we’re just now catching up.”

“Man, people really had it good pre-war if everyone tasted like that.” Hancock sighed whistfully before taking a puff of the joint as it was passed his way.

“Vell, I guess ve vill never have the data on zhat” Curie sighed.

“Nu-uh” Deacon spoke up, grin unmoving as he cast his gaze to Nora. Oh no. “We got ourselves our own repository of pre-war experiences right here.”

“Oh shit, yeah. What do you think sunshine? Do folks taste different after the bombs?” Hancock looked at her rather excitedly, and suddenly Nora felt quite a few eyes on her. What she wouldn’t give for a stealth boy right now. Or a much, much stronger drink. Speaking of…

“Well I don’t know, I wasn’t exactly walking around licking people.” Nora huffed and snatched the whiskey bottle before it could reach its next destination.

“What, Nate never let you get a taste of yourself? Kept you all to himself? Never told you what it was like while he was going down?” Cait jested, propping her head on her elbow and looking up at Nora with mischief written across her face. Taste herself? Going down? Nora was rapidly losing context as her anxiety grew.

“I-... I mean not really?” Nora stuttered, floundering for something to say that wouldn’t tip off her friends that she had no fucking clue what they were referencing. Oh no, now Cait looked confused. “I mean, people didn’t really discuss sex like people do now…” She trailed off but the eyes did not leave her. Normally she relished sharing her better memories from before the war with her friends, loved how they listened to her no matter what she wanted to talk about, but this time she just wished they’d ignore her. She took another swig to buy herself some time.

“Wait, Nate did go down on you right?” Piper spoke up, leaning forward in her seat with a look of concern and confusion. Damn her. Nora normally loved how quickly Piper could put pieces together before she could, but right now she wanted to strangle her. The table was silent.

“I uh, that’s slang right?” Piper nodded. “I don’t really know what that means.” Cait started cackling and Nora felt her cheeks flush.

“Girly it means eating pussy.” Cait giggled. Nora just blinked at her, embarrassment growing as she remained confused. Cait’s giggles died off, along with her grin. “Eating you out? Shit Curie you had a big word for it.”

“Cunilingus?” Curie studied her face. “Oral zex?” Curie probed fruther. How would she taste herself during a blowjob? “Providing physical pleasure to a woman by means of contact between the mouth and the vagina?” Curie clarified. When she just started at Curie confused John spoke up.

“Hold on, you really have no clue what we’re talking about?” He looked bewildered.

“...No” Nora wished the ground would eat her alive.

“Damn, you had that man’s kid and he never went down on you? Ever?” John looked shocked, and looking around the table she realized pretty much everyone was giving her some flavor of the same look. “Man maybe pre-war folk didn’t have it that nice of they didn’t go down on each other.” Hancock shook his head.

“We had the notion of oral sex before the war.” Nick clarified with a furrow in his brow. “I’m sure you ended up reading about it somewhere. You were a nurse right?”

“I mean, yeah…” Nora mumbled. “But it was mostly about ways people catch different diseases and how to identify symptoms.” The whiskey bottle was passed along, and Nora prayed the conversation would steer towards pre-war medicine. At least she could talk extensively about that. Curie suddenly looked a little mad.

“On vhat anatomy?” She questioned with urgency. “Your medical textbookz must have explained zhe affects on men and vomen, yes?” A beat of silence passed. Shit, her textooks were basically all male anatomy. She racked her head. There were diagrams of women, she knew it. Yeah, when she was learning basic gynecology. She saw plenty of diagrams of female reproductive organs. And especially leading up to their unit on delivery. Did they talk about diseases in women? She knew they discussed pregnancy effects…

“I mean I was first trained as a combat medic, so it was mostly male anatomy...”

“But they had women in the army.” Nick corrected. “Not just medics, they saw deployment. They were soldiers.” Nick stubbed out the last of his cigarette in the ashtray. “They didn’t really train their medics to only treat half of their army did they?”

“Well beyond genitalia there isn’t much difference between male and female anatomy-”

“Zhat is not true!!” Curie exclaimed. She definitely looked mad now. “Surely treating soldiers so vould result in more female casualties, yes?”

“Women in relationships were given the option to opt out of the draft, so it was a lot more men than women.” Nora explained. “And if you ask me the death toll of that war was pretty equal opportunity in the end.”

Curie frowned. “Hold on” Hancock spoke up, tucking his tin of mentats back into his pocket as he looked at her contemplatively. Nora felt like she would not enjoy his line of questioning with those in his system. “So let me get this straight, you knew about oral sex, but not on women?” Why did he look sad?

“Yes?” Nora suddenly felt very uncertain.

“Did you perform oral sex?” He followed her response rather quickly. If she wasn’t already clearly blushing she was certain she looked like a tomato now (Or she supposed, a tato fruit is the new word for the vegetable). She swallowed and felt like it was all too audible.

“Yes.”

“I hope he was a good lay then, fucker better have caught up if you weren’t getting any head.” Cait grumbled, leaning her head on Nora’s shoulder. “-‘Nough men up here don’t care if a girl cums, I’did’d hoped it was different then.” Nora was silent. Girls didn’t have cum, right? She’d never produced any cum with Nate, and her teachers were very clear. Men produced semen and women produced eggs, and sex required the male to ejaculate to enable procreation. Women couldn’t produce ejaculate. Nora must have been quiet too long, or maybe she still looked confused because John spoke up again.

“He did make you cum, right?” Nora sorta wished someone would just shoot her now and spare her this exchange. Still, they seemed willing enough to explain, right? And they were her friends, she trusted them.

“I thought only men could produce ejaculate?” Nora clarified rather quietly.

“Fuck, man.” Hancock sighed dissapointedly, leaning back in his seat and pushing his hat back. Nick shook his head as their friends began mumbles of ‘That’s fucked up/ Damn/ Fucking pre-war assholes.’ She found the whiskey pushed back into her hands, a rather clingy Cait wrapping her arms around her as she indulged, but no explanation offered. Nora was thankful when Deacon changed the subject, content to listen to his latest exaggerated story rather than think too much about the pitying looks she kept catching from her friends. She wasn’t quite sure what to think about this newfound revelation that she had far less experience than she thought when it comes to sex. Clearly she was missing a lot. Everyone was weirdly more polite to each other and her after the whole conversation, not that Nora was complaining, but paired with the glances she kept catching between her friends it was all rather strange.

She was one of the first to turn in, making her way to the large house she built with a room for each of her friends. Of course not leaving without everyone insisting on a parting hug, Cait planting a sloppy kiss on her cheek with a grin. It was a short but pleasant walk back to the house. She loved sanctuary and still kept a house there, but sometimes the memories were just too heavy. There was just something about the complex she built at starlight drive-in that felt so beautiful to her. Maybe because her only pre-war memories of the place were high school dates and the carnival that would come through town. Maybe it was because it had one of the best places to stargaze undisturbed. Maybe it was because it felt like she was building a new family here.

The building was mostly concrete, with lead lining on the exterior to keep out the wastes when they came in on the winds of a radstorm. Everyone had their own room, each decked out to their own tastes. The settlement had huge walls and enough missile turrets to send a sentry bot to abu dhabi. It was safe, and cozy, but not nearly as lively and green as Nora remembered from her childhood. There were people aplenty sure, but pretty much just robots, synths, ghouls, and folks just looking for some peace for once showed up to her settlements. No kids. Nora would always lament shawn’s loss of access to many childhood cultural staples. At least he had his pip boy and her entire game collection, and what child-appropriate media she had downloaded on there before the bombs dropped.She tried to make the compound fun, but her settlers seemed to enjoy her amenities more than her son. It's one thing to build your kid a playground, it was another to get them to play on it. She really wished that ghoul family would move in, or really any family. She really hoped the cure they sent out to Macreedy’s son worked fast. It’d be nice to have him here. She guessed she couldn’t blame people for choosing not to bring a new life into this hellscape, and to not risk talking about any kids they did have outside of settlements. At least Shawn seemed content with picking up stories from residents and playing games with Ada, Codsworth and the robots Nora built. Whenever she had to take off to make sure the peace she helped build would stick, she felt a lot better knowing most of her friends would be staying behind, and they’d be looking out for Shawn.

They understood how anxious she could get about him. Shawn wasn’t born to her, but her son never really bothered to consider the implications of what he made. Shawn did not ask to be built young, programmed afraid and terrified of abandonment. Nora had asked the railroad if they thought he could grow, mature, not be stuck as a kid for however many centuries he’d survive. No one had any clue, there were no other synths like him. She knew one day she would have to tell him, before all the years on ice caught up to her and he was stuck alone.

Except he wouldn’t be, Nora reminded herself. Her friends, they’d listened to her on many dark nights, listening to her grief and fears and anxieties. Nick had held her, promised her that no matter what reality lay in store for Shawn, if he was functional he would be there for him. John had similar sentiments, with the addition of a few corny ghoul jokes and a radioactive punchline. Strong, well… ‘No cry!!! Crying Weak. Human not weak. Strong is Strong! Strong smash anything that try to smash tiny robot child.’ Which she supposed was reassuring at least in regards to his safety. He was good at that, any time he was stationed at the drive in he insisted on guarding the front gate. She would have thought it would be easier to get a super mutant to party, but he generally did not enjoy any situation with too many humans he couldn’t yell at. In all honesty, when it came to helping keep her kid sane she trusted curie the most. She had taken her worries so seriously that she found a new research focus after her stimpack breakthrough.

Nora stopped by Shaun's room on the ground floor, peeking in the door happy to see him in bed, his desk still littered with nuka cola bottles and the various pieces of whatever technology he could get his hands on to fiddle with. When she had started construction he had insisted on having his own door out into the little village so he could look around for scrap without Ada or Codsworth lecturing him for tracking mud water dirt or oil into the house. It worried her sometimes, and seeing him safe and at peace always helped settle her. She knew that with Ada in charge of the household and the many robots she had built to help the community nothing would ever happen to him. Realistically, It would be really hard to even approach the settlement while presenting a threat without getting nuked to hell by the space sentry bot her son had lovingly named Jupiter. Still, she always indulged herself in checking on him before she turned in whenever she was home.

Four floors up the complex of concrete lead and steel, her room had a beautiful view of the gardens below, beyond them the marketplace. She watched as her friends spilled out the bar, one by one. Chatting amongst themselves as they made their way back to the house. John slung his arms around Nick and Cait’s shoulders before making a broader gesture towards the top of the house. The group paused and lingered, chatting in a large circle.

Looking down on them, Nora figured it didn’t really matter if they all were more experienced than her. None of them would think less of her for it. She trusted them not to tease her, they dropped the whole conversation when they found their answers. No one said anything teasing afterwards, and she felt more confident now that if she had questions they’d be forthcoming with answers. She felt some of the tension from earlier leave her as she changed into comfortable sleep clothes and crawled into bed.

‘So there has to be a way for women to ejaculate by their reactions from earlier’ Nora thought. When they were talking about tasting earlier, she now realized they meant tasting a vagina. ‘There’s nothing wrong with experimentation’ She assured herself, looking up at her ceiling she had painted with yellow stars and feeling herself over her clothes. Her hand felt a little cold as she braved the elastic of her waistband, feeling herself clumsily as she remembered what Nate had tasted like when she gave him a blowjob.

‘What do I taste like?’ She dipped one slow finger into her heat and collected what wetness she could find there. She raised her hand up out of her pants to examine her fingers in what little light that made it through the windows. They were covered in fluid, but that was lubrication, right? She sniffed her fingers, and she didn’t smell bad. A bit like water left in a metal bottle out in the heat. Bringing them to her mouth she was surprised at the flavor. She wasn’t quite sure what she expected. John had described it as water at the bar, but this was definitely not water. She wanted to say it was salty, but It had this sort of tang that tasted similar to some pre-war sour candy without any of the sweetness. It almost tasted a little meaty? Thinking back on her assessment of the smell, she supposed it tasted like salt water left out in the heat in a metal bottle. She had a pretty fancy water purifier setup at the settlement, so if that really effected taste she was pretty sure it wouldn’t be right to say it tasted ‘just like water.’

A knock sounded at her door and she yanked her finger away from her face with a jolt.

“Hey blue, can we talk?” Nora sat up quickly and climbed out of bed to greet Piper. Except it wasn’t just Piper she saw when she opened the door, it looked like most everyone were settling down further along the hallway in the sitting area near the stairwell.

“Yeah-”Piper stepped inside and just as quickly closed the door behind her, the quiet murmur in the stairwell dampening beyond audibility with the soft thump of the door. Nora could feel her face flushing again and felt grateful for the night. “Is this all about earlier?”

“Well, yeah, and some other stuff..” Nora could feel her stomach drop as she watched Piper turn around and sit in her desk chair. Piper seemed to notice something was off with her and quickly amended. “It’s nothing bad I promise! At least I hope so. Listen, first, personally. I need you to know that its really, really fucked up that from what it sounds like, you’ve literally never cum in your life.” Piper looked at her with a question clear across her face, like she was still expecting Nora to tell her that she had actually came before, because of course she has. Except she hasn’t, and Nora really didn’t know what to say.

Piper sighed and continued after a beat. “Things are different in the commonwealth now Blue, and I know you know that, but I don’t know if you understand the extent of it- culturally.”

“What does that mean?” Nora questioned, having found a seat on the edge of her bed. Piper leaned over, grabbed her hand and lacing their fingers together.

“Well Blue, for one. Not only did you walk into the commonwealth like a hurricane, but you started just helping people for no real apparent reason other than they needed help. People don’t really do that here.”

Nora chuckled. “You know Cait and I already had this talk-”

“Yeah, and we don’t think you really get it. Preston has told you something similar too. And you brushed them both off, and me just now, why?” Nora looked down at their hands.

“I-” Nora wasn’t sure she had an answer. It had to be her past, right? She did it because she knew it was right, it was what worked. “-just, its what you’re supposed to do where… I guess when I’m from. Politically, you know, at the time. Helping people became a form of rebellion. Helping one another, building up the people around you knowing they’ll do the same was the biggest fuck you the average person could manage without risking imprisonment.” Nora couldn’t quite meet Piper’s eyes. She’d spoken plenty about good memories, favorite movies and shows and songs, dances and the relative luxury afforded most people. It still felt illegal somehow, to talk about such seditious thoughts out loud. To speak the thing that held the little neighborhood of sanctuary together until the very end. Piper nodded along.

“So It was still dangerous then?” Piper asked. Nora chuckled and shook her head.

“Not in the same way it is now. It was freedom on the line, not necessarily lives.”

“Which brings me to the point, you know we all really care about you, right? Whatever you need from any of us, we’re there.” Piper squeezed her hand, placing her other hand over top of their two hands already intertwined. Nora grinned.

“Yeah, I know.”

“Which brings me to my next point. Blue, you’re beautiful. Its some sort of crime against nature that no one has ever gone down on you. I don’t know where you are with your husband stuff, if you’ll ever really feel ready to try and be with anyone ever again. That’s gonna be all up to you. But we were talking, after you left. Commiserating, really, over i'm sorry Blue, but the tragedy that is your sex life, and we all came to the in retrospect very unsurprising discovery that we are all heads over heels for you. You don’t really flirt back, so everyone kinda thought you were still caught up over Nate.- And don’t get me wrong! If it is still is about Nate, no shame that’s just the assumption.- But now we also realize it is completely possible you just still don’t understand that we love you a lot.” Fuck, was Piper trying to give her a heart attack? “And Im not saying this with any expectations blue. We love you, and that means we’re here for you anyway you want us, especially as friends. But that also means we want you to see all the cards on the table.”

“Piper, what are you saying?” Nora’s brain felt like it was going a mile a minute and everywhere this train of logic seemed to lead was confusing and quite flustering.

“I mean that me and everyone back there in that room, we all want you to have what’s best, we want you to be happy, and we’re happy when we’re with you. And I know this is probably insane to you, by your pre-war standards but if you wanted to be with any of us, for some forever after or one night stand or anything in between, you can, no hard feelings. No friendship lost. All you have to do is ask.”

Nora nearly felt at a loss for words, just staring at piper. How could that many people love her like that? She’d always found them all attractive in their own ways, but it felt wrong somehow. Wasn’t she technically a single mom now? None of it felt like it made sense. “Why? How?”

“Well, apart from single handedly taking down the institute, the brotherhood, restoring the minutemen, terrorizing raider groups and wiping out packs of feral ghouls and super mutants, freeing any synth you can, being the most thoroughly loyal and kind person any of us has met, skilled enough to build huge settlements across the commonwealth and face down some of the scariest shit i’ve seen, have you looked in a mirror lately?” Nora was at a complete loss of words.

“I know its a lot blue, we just felt like we needed to tell you. You know, you have options.” Nora nodded in awe. She realistically liked them all, and had equally squashed any notion of such relationships being possible for her. Women like her, they weren't supposed to move on, were they? Would Nate want her to move on? Nora honestly felt she couldn’t chose to date any of her friends with a clear conscience. It’d be horrible of her to choose one relationship and then go pining after any of the others, especially since she has learned the truly meager extent of her ability to lie the hard way out on her adventures into the commonwealth. Nora was certain her face was flushed as red as could be.

“I don’t know what to say I - Im so flattered.” Nora tried to steady her thoughts. “I just couldn’t though you’re all- You’re all really attractive.” Nora couldn’t meet Piper's eyes. Piper gave Nora’s hand another squeeze before Nora heard her giggle.

“So you do like us?” Piper said in a teasing tone.

“I love you guys, Its just that-” Nora wasn’t sure how to phrase it.

“Romantically?”

“Yea-Yes.” Nora stammered out. God that was so stupid to admit. Why would she-

“You mean it blue?” Piper had risen out of her seat, now gripping Nora’s shoulders.

“Yeah, so-”

“So what?”

“So isn’t that unfair? To be with one person and secretly harbor feelings for others?” Piper was looking at Nora now at eye level. Piper frowned at her words.

“Who said anything about one person?” Piper smirked, a determined look in her eyes as she stood and strode to the door, opening it. “Deacon, come here right now!”

“A please is always nice.” He teased as he made his way in the room. “What do you need me for?”

“Explain polyamory to Nora.” Piper commanded, closing the door firmly behind him. Deacon suddenly couldn’t stop smiling, looking between Piper and Nora before finally directing his thousand watt smile at Nora before taking a seat at her desk.

“So, I know when you’re from people pretty much exclusively only dated or were romantically involved with one person at a time, and having more than one partner at a time was taboo.” Deacon was watching Nora’s face, so she nodded.

“Well, I'm sure you noticed what was taboo then isn’t always taboo now. Being happy, even momentarily, in whatever way a person can is expected of people. You know how much people in the railroad have each other’s backs, right? A lot of people were together.” Nora looked shocked and she knew it.

“I never noticed.” Nora mumbled.

“Well, you know, when a hot lady busts into your base in the fanciest power armor you’ve ever seen and a goddamn plasma rifle, and instead of opening fire tells you they wanna help, you let them do what they want and leave out any details until it's pertinent or they ask.” Nora could feel herself growing flustered. Intimidation was nowhere on her mind when she strolled into railroad HQ. She’d followed the trail, and it wasn’t a safe or easy trail. Of course she wore her armor. She did walk around in power armor a lot for the fun of it, she mostly saw it as a more efficient way to traverse the Commonwealth. Before her in her time it was just another piece of military hardware like any amount of the rather absurd guns she now had access to. Stepping into that power armor felt just like the medic armor, and on the battlefield everyone knew what it meant to see medic battlearmor. She never really considered the intimidation factor. Looking back, the only people who reacted like that anymore were minutemen or settlements. It kinda made her want to laugh, thinking about a raider shiting themselves seeing her in her x-2 armor.

“So wait, who was together?” Nora questioned.

“Tinker tom, Carrington, Des, and I.” He paused, his grin going bittersweet. “And Glory.”

“I’m sorry Deacon.” Nora held out her hand and Deacon took it gladly. He shook his head but his grin didn’t fall completely.

“Thank you.” He paused. Nora knew Glory’s loss was a huge hit to the railroad, she didn’t realize the extent to which it impacted its top members personally. Everyone was grieving when the institute fell. “But you see what I mean. Happiness doesn't always last long, so if someone out here wants to love someone else no matter how complex we do it, no questions asked.” Piper snorted. “Well, some questions asked.” He added. “The problem is never really the number, but prejudice is still alive and well. A person would have an easier time keeping a harem than publicly being in a loving relationship with a synth, ghoul, or any other non-humanoid.” Nora nodded solemnly.

“Not to say that isn’t worth the risk.” He mentioned. “If you ask me any of it's worth it, however long it lasts.”

“So, Piper,” Nora started. “You’re- You’re saying that I can… or should, uh.”

“I’m not telling you to do anything Blue. I'm saying, we’re all saying, I think, that if you want something you should have it.”

Nora took a moment to think. Did it really matter what Nate or anyone from her past really thought? If they didn’t care that she was a widowed mother from a clearly different culture than the rest of them, then why should she?

“You think real loud Fixer” Deacon spoke up, apparently unwilling to go too long without attention on him. He lifted her hand and pressed a kiss to her palm, looking at her and taking a deep breathe. His gaze seemed focused on hers, as if daring her to look away.

“You” Nora started, shifting her jaw as she measured her words, praying her flustered mind wouldn’t say something too stupid. She turned her gaze to Piper. “-You all, feel this way?”

“Why not bring them in? Let them tell you themselves.” Piper looked pleased, and rather mischievous. Nora paused, glanced back at Deacon, and nodded. Piper strolled back to the door before throwing it open. “Why don’t you all come tell Blue what we came her to tell her. A quick shuffle of feet brought most of her friends into her room, pulling over her desk chairs and sitting on the edges of her bed and other furniture to make room in her room.

“So,” Nora panicked a bit over what to say. She felt many gazes on her, and her eyes inevitably fell to her lap. “You all feel this way towards me?”

“What way?” Cait teased, having claimed the spot on the bed to the right of Nora. She heard Deacon snicker before Hancock spoke up.

“Yeah sunshine, how do we feel about you?”

Nora felt a bit conceited even entertaining the idea that this many people would fancy her, but here they all were, in her bedroom telling her as much. Damn, how did this many people like her like that? Eight people? “You like me?” She spoke it as a question. Some of them laughed at her response, Cait included.

“Way more than like, love. You’re in my dreams, especially the naughty ones.” Cait leaned over to speak gently in her ear.

“I second that” Hancock raised his hand with a grin, apparently enjoying whatever look Nora had on her face while she processed perhaps the most flustering thing possible being said to her.

“My favorite dreams are spent covering your six when you’re wearing that tight ass blue suit” Macreedy spoke from his place leaned against the wall.

“I’ve had that same dream” Danse spoke with a smirk.

“God, don’t get me started on that suit” Piper sighed wistfully.

“We may need to lay off before we give our poor girl an aneurysm” Nick nodded towards Nora, her eyes big, face red, and utterly speechless. Preston nodded solemnly from beside Nick.

“We can’t overwork her” Preston warned with a tone of authority. Curie, having climbed onto the bed behind Nora, touched a cold hand to the back of Nora’s neck and Nora nearly jumped out of her skin.

“She is greatly flushed” Curie concurred, her hand not leaving Nora's skin.

“Oh, she’s fine” Deacon spoke, playing with her hand held between his. “She wasn’t too flustered to have some fun before we showed up. Isn’t that right Nora?” Nora tried to pull her hand back, but Deacon held it fast, pressing a kiss to the finger she had used to feel herself. She swore she felt his tongue flick out and touch her skin.

“I just-”

“Wanted to know what it felt like?” Deacon finished for her. The bed creaked as Hancock grabbed the footboard of the bed and leaned over it.

“Do you want some help with that sweetheart?” Hancock asked with mirth in his voice.

Nora felt herself work her jaw, finding the right words. “ I like you all like that, but I don’t really have the experience and I don’t know how well I’ll-” Deacon squeezed her hand as Curie wrapped her arms around her waist and began pressing kisses to the side of her neck with an excited giggle, with Cait seconds after doing her best to pull nora to her and press kisses under her chin. Nora had to fight down a rather undignified noise at the attention.

“We don't need you to do or be anything Blue. You’ve already done a lot. We just need you to tell us what you want. Now, do you want us?” Piper walked over to Nora, fingers lifting he chin a touch to give Cait more room for her conquest.

“Y-yes” Nora croaked out.

“Do you want us to make you cum?” Piper looked her in the eye in a way that turned the butterflies in her chest into something warm and intense pooling in her gut. She was suddenly very aware of her heartbeat. Nora swallowed before answering.

“Yes”

“All of us?” Piper clarified.

“I-” Nora paused. Would doing this make her a whore? Did stuff like that matter anymore? She can’t have sex with eight people in one night, she wasn’t sure her body could take it. “I can’t have, -Can’t have sex with eight people in one night.” She spoke worridly, and suddenly felt very embarrassed at the laughter that bubbled up at her response.

“Baby, she said make you cum, not have sex.” Cait clarified.

Nora furrowed her brow. “What’s the difference?” Curie suddenly pulled her back onto the bed. Deacon let go of her hand in favor of leaning over and grabbing her ankle.

“Why don’t you let us show you?” Cait leaned over and licked a stripe up Nora’s neck, forcing a gasp from her.

“Fuck” She heard Preston mutter somewhere off to the side of her.

She felt a sudden tug at her hair, and Cait forced her head up to lock their lips together. Cait quickly pressed a tongue into her mouth, and when Deacon leaned over and slowly pushed her shirt up she let out a particularly undignified noise into Cait’s mouth. Nora wasn’t sure when she closed her eyes, but she opened them in shock when two pairs of lips began working over her stomach. Looking down, Deacon was running his hands over her ribs, pressing kisses to her sternum and inching her shirt ever higher with his nose. She was suddenly all too aware of the noises around her.

“Fuck baby” Below him Hancock had climbed his way onto the bed and began kissing down over her belly to where the waistband of her shorts rested. Curie pulled Nora further onto the bed, lying back and resting Nora’s head on her chest. Many hands maneuvered her body into what they deemed an acceptable position.

“Good girl” Deacon praised. Her hands were pulled over her head as her shirt was stripped from her, and with another breathtaking kiss stolen by Piper she lost her shorts and underwear.

“So pretty Blue” Piper remarked, moving down her body and sliding a hand up her thigh. She hardly had a moment to be embarrassed at her naked state in front of her mostly clothed friends when Preston and Piper each took a leg and pulled them apart, kissing and biting as they wished at her flesh. She nearly jumped at the contact and fought back a yelp of surprise. With Cait occupied with her mouth and neck, Danse and Nick had their fun with her breasts, palming and rolling her till Nora let slip whimpers.

“Don’t hold back that voice baby, let us hear you” Deacon encouraged. Deacon took hold of her hand once more, and she could feel kisses pressed to her fingertips. Macreedy stole her other hand, lacing his fingers with hers and running a thumb over the back of her hand.

“I want you to sing for me sunshine” Hancock returned to his place nestled between her legs and Nora was glad for something to hold on for dear life to. Cait pulled away, yanking her head back so that Curie could kiss her forehead and so that she may return to kissing and licking Nora’s neck. Nora let out a groan, deep and gutteral and she felt herself arch into Curie’s grip around her waist. Hancock began running a hand over her, sliding just over her entrance and back up to her clit before repeating his path, and Nora couldn’t help but whimper each time he traced his path, the movement accompanied with a wet clicking sound.

Nora immediately felt embarrassed at her noises, doubly so when Nick pointed out her blush spread to her chest while he toyed with her pebbled nipples. However, looking up at her, well, she wasn’t sure what to call them right now, she felt a little less embarrassed when she realized they all seemed to be feeling even more aroused than her. And oh, she could see-, Danse and Preston, pleasuring themselves to her. She could hear Cait grunting against her throat and a light squelching sound that didn’t seem to be coming from what Hancock was doing to her. They were making noises right along with her.

Hancock slid a finger into her and she couldn’t help but wiggle her hips at the pleasure he was forcing upon her. He began thrusting, sliding in another finger before lowering his head and sucking. Nora had never felt anything like it and she damn Near screamed while he hummed atop her. Piper and Preston had to force her down where her legs met her hips to stop her from bucking away from the onslaught of pleasure Hancock was causing with his every move.

“I don’t know how you can be this cute and so damn strong” Preston mused as he held down her hips. He nipped at the skin of her inner thigh in mock punishment and a shudder ran through her. Nora began registering the growing states of undress of her friends. It just wasn’t fair how hot they were. It honestly felt like they were toying with her.

“Taking this so well” Cait paused her onslaught of kisses to whisper praise behind her ear. She could feel Hancock’s tongue work at her, felt the little puffs of air over her mound as he grunted into her flesh, and damn if the noises he made didn’t make it feel all the better. Nora had never felt anything like this before. With Nate, sex, it felt intimate but without fanfare. This, Nora felt like she could hardly stand it. Her toes curled, a heat in her belly got heavier by the moment, and it left Nora damn near sobbing at the pleasure of it. She had never heard anything like the noises she was making, it was involuntary and visceral with every suck and thrust.

“You’re shaking like a leaf doll” Nick spoke as he smoothed a hand over her ribcage.

“You’re feeling good?” Curie questioned her. She gripped the hands holding hers with a deathgrip and moaned when Hancock added a third finger. She nodded aggressively and was rewarded with a flurry of kisses wherever she was being held down. Her legs began shaking when Hancock picked up the pace, and the heat in her stomach coiled. She had no control, nor much awareness of the noises she was making at this point. Despite being held down, with the pleasure she was experiencing and the praise from her friends rolling around in her head she almost felt like she was floating.

“Please what?” Danse asked with a rough squeeze of her nipple. Coming back to reality a bit, Nora realized during her whimpering and moaning she had started to beg. Please what indeed.

“I-” Nora panted through another string of moans. Hancock was too skilled at this. “I don’t know”.

“She’s gonna cum” Cait giggled into the skin under her chin.

“Fuck” Piper cussed, looking down her body Nora realized that everyone was either watching what Hancock was doing to her or watching her face. While holding her down, most of them were working at themselves too and she couldn’t tell if it was embarrassing or arousing.

“Cum for us baby”

“Give us a show doll”

“Good Girl”

The coil building in her gut suddenly got more and more intense in a way Nora was unprepared for. She hardly had a moment to register her shock at this new bodily experience when It all came down suddenly, like being hit with a ton of bricks straight to the brain.

“Oh, Oh FUCK!” Nora screamed out, body convulsing and head flying back. Her eyes closed but her vision went white. White hot pleasure shocked through her, before turning into waves of bliss. When she opened her eyes she felt like she was floating. She felt curie tucking strands of hair behind her ears. Hancock worked her slower and lighter till she shook. Looking down she met his eyes and his hands and mouth finally left her with an embarrassing pop and a slight smirk before taking the fingers that were within her and sucking them into his mouth with a pleased groan. Nora could only whimper and close her eyes. She faintly heard the moans of some of her friends, felt Cait shake and groan into the crook of her neck.

“So, how was the first orgasm of your life?” Deacon teased, himself sounding a bit out of breathe. All Nora could manage was a grunt in response, apparently enough for him as he and some others began chuckling.

The world seemed to come more into focus as she took some deep breaths. What did this mean now? She’d never felt like that before, her friends went out of their way to make sure she felt like that. They enjoyed making her feel like that.

“You did so well” Piper praised, and many kisses brought Nora out of her thought process. Piper sided up to Nora, shoving Danse out of the way. Cait took the cue to so the same to Nick, and Nora was suddenly being held by three women.

“You guys are hogging her” Deacon whined, making movements to tug Nora his way and tuck his face into her neck.

“Says the guy who wasn’t shoved off” Danse ran a hand over her hip.

“Are you feeling okay?” Maccredy checked in on her. Maccready sat down on the bed next to Cait and began playing with Nora’s hair. Nora nodded. She felt boneless. It felt like her veins were buzzing. Beside her, she could hear whatever kept Nick running humming loudly.

“Any words?” Preston teased, rubbing at her ankle.

“-Wow” Was all she could manage. Giggles erupted around her. Nora tried to get her thoughts straight. “So, what now?”

“Like I said” Piper spoke up. “Whatever you want.”

“And- You all feel like that?” Nora checked, looking around at her friends, or were they lovers now? That’s a lot of lovers.

“Yep”

“Whatever you want baby” A chorus of agreements spoke up. Nora looked around, only to see those that were silent nodding.

“So I guess that just begs the question Blue, what do you want?” Piper questioned, and damn was that a hard line of questioning. What did she want? Piper talked about this all like it could be a casual thing, but would they be down for what she actually wanted from them? They all had lives to live, despite what she’s built here. Nora took a steadying breathe.

“I want us to be family” Nora spoke. “Like Shawn and Nate and I were, but bigger.” She felt a bit afraid of what they would say, suddenly very aware of her nakedness in comparison to her mostly clothed lovers.

“Oh Blue” Piper raised a hand to Nora’s face. “That sounds perfect to me.”

“I like the sound of that” Preston spoke with a smile.

“Me too” Maccready.

“Oh, vhe vill be zhe best family!” Curie spoke cheerfully, squeezing Nora around the waist. “I can make you packed lunches vith little notes and you vhill have to kiss me before you leave for vork”. Nora couldn’t help but giggle at the image. Before the war, that’s what she was expected to do. Now her synth, doctor, girlfriend? Wife? Did she just propose? How did that even work in the wasteland?

“I can’t think of anything I would want more sunshine.” Hancock spoke with a grin.

“Wait, did I just propose to you guys?” Nora spoke with an amount of shock. “How does this even work nowadays?”

“Well, considering you currently are the head of government, unless you want to join a religion or go do paperwork at diamond city, if we all agree to it that’s a marriage”. Nick explained.

“Oh god” Nora threw her head back and closed her eyes with a long-suffering sigh. “I’m the government and I married y'all after we had sex once. Why is the law like this?” Her companions quickly dissolved into laughter.

“Well I’m definitely not complaining” Deacon reassured.

“Me either” Spoke Nick.

“Isn’t this fast?” Nora asked. “I mean, I’ve been unfrozen maybe four years”.

“People feel lucky to be able to spend even a year straight at a time with those they love. People marry fast.” Deacon explained.

“Things move slower in the brotherhood, but I’ve known you over two years, and you’ve saved my life multiple times. Unless a brother has taken a vow of chastity, that’s more than enough time to decide to marry for them, and a lot of the wasteland considers them prudes.” Danse spoke up.

“So as long as we love you, and you love us, you could call us married. Or fiances, or dating, the label doesn't matter. I just know that I love you sunshine, I think we all do. Do you love us?” Hancock asked.

Nora felt very warm, surrounded by people she cared for, people who made her feel safe, people she would die for. She couldn’t help the small smile creeping on her face. “I love you all too.” She sighed. “I like the sound of married. I like the promise of it. But I think I’d want to do a ceremony or something. And I- I also want what you guys want. If we’re gonna call this that, we’re in this together, right?”

Amid many agreements and sounds of excitement and some of the best cuddles Nora had experienced in her life, Cait leaned forward to whisper in her ear; “I want to eat my wife’s pussy till she screams for me again. Care to make that happen, love of mine?”

Nora could feel the flush all the way down her chest. “Now what did you say to her Cait?” Maccredy questioned.

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slightly-warmer-hibiscus-tea · 6 months ago

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CW: OC talk + Rambling / Blood / Gore / Censored Nudity (character sheet) / Mentions of Drugging

(idk why these warnings are so intense, but I swear it's all just silly OC talk T^T)

I’m kinda sorta working on more (comprehensible) TS OC stuff in between studying right now… I wanna hurry and talk about them but without info dumping (if given the opportunity I will without hesitation 😔…) because in terms of the best stories I have conjured up for OCs in general Naudedel and Noble are surprisingly good and I’m very excited to share how deranged they are together…

Right now it’s just about making Naudy readable and working on extra fun stuff… like monsters!

I’m trying to work out his “monster” form…. The concept is there, but the execution is just not ticking the right boxes for me right now… also, the line art at the end is old and probably will go unused, but thought it was something to add here because like hehe look at my deranged son :)

When it comes to the writing I'm going to split it into two chapters. The first half will be a summary+ of his upbringing, and the second on how he fucked up his arm and why. Just enough info to get a read on what his deal is pretty much. I just need to edit the first chapter and rewrite some parts then it's ready to annoy the world!

I'm trying to think of a good design for his original mother... I'm thinking dark hair and milf (¬‿¬)･ﾟ✧ ... honestly I need to start drawing out the designs for all the other TS OCs I've accumulated over the year (?) here's a fun list-

Hickery (bloodhound OC... dilf oc...I've already been made fun of for his name, but it stuck to me so I'm keeping it!)

Maya (another bloodhound OC)

Cove (Hound's ex-husband)

Cetcher's gf + informant, who still needs a good name...

and that one guy! (doesn't have a name yet... but is important in Hound's part of the story... she bashed some of his guys in the back of head with a hammer... it was a whole thing... Leander got involved... gang war stuff, don't worry about it...)

There are technically more OCs, like that Hightown lady Noble befriended during their first few weeks in town. However, I'm not sure if I'm including her in the final plot meeting. But yeah, anyway I'm rambling so on to Noble news!

For Noble, everything is plotted out in advance surprisingly…character playlist and all... just need to find the words to explain their story other than “parasite with a weird God complex feels guilty” I do have some old memes and art of them though!

Noble curse stuff...

Childhood cult stuff...

Current reality...

Poor person masquerade dress censored for tumblr...

Noble folks!

I actually wrote out a whole little thing for the black dress in a what-if scenario of...

"Oh! ,,,What if there is a masquerade in Hightown and Noble sneaks in to get some information on a certain individual who might know a thing or two about curses, but turns out the whole event if devious and their all eating babies or some fucked up shit,,,, and what if while sneaking around they see Leander and are like 'what's he doing here?' and they lock eyes but he ignores them as he ducks into a closed off area with some important looking people,,, once he comes out he walks past them and they lock eyes again as he leaves,,, Noble chases after him and once they catch up they get to see his cold and detached side right before he hides them from the other guest,,, after they talk for a bit, or more like Leander talking over them and their worries as he slowly wipes their memories while they protest that it's not fair only to wake up the next day back in their room,,, thankfully their curse is good for more then just silly bouts of insanity so they have a hunch on what happened, everyone around them who knew where they went the night before were obviously worried and the general consensus is that they might have been drugged and should go check in with Kuras just in case (wow this is getting long...) but on their way to the clinic they run into Leander and of course discusses their current problem with him ,,, words are exchanged,,, a kabedon may occur,,, as he whispers in their ear,,, all fun till he erases their memories again, or at least tires before receiving a little gift that makes him look at this whole curse thing from a different angle." DEEP BREATH! ...Anyways... yeah.

But it was taking so long to write out that I ended up losing motivation so yeah... like everything else we will pray the motivation comes back so I can finish that... plus who knows, I might make an x reader version of it if I can. (don't hold your breath... I'm extremely slow)

Anyway, I'm gonna to shut up now because I've yapped enough. I'mma make some hibiscus tea (ironic) and head to bed... Night night, if you made it this far, thank you for listening to my craziness <3

#rambles #oc: naudedel #oc: noble #touchstarved oc

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secondhand-snow · 8 months ago

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♡The way ATN would sensationalize mencken and stepdaughter reader's story would be insane like its some sort of american royal love story just to paint this n*zi's image a little better for the public 😨

♡i didn't even think of this but you're so right! they would absolutely be shown as this perfect nuclear american family to further his public perception and back up his traditionalist ideals. and you know all the alt-right folks would eat it up, they would go so viral on twitter and reddit. reader would become this unwilling, accidental idol in american media.

----

♤ My dudes! I screamed at this! Because I was also thinking about it. First, poor Karolina has her work cut out for her, lol. Can you imagine? They definitely need a crisis manager to help them spin this tale. Of course, I see them sanitizing the shit out of it. Making this "Heiress with daddy issues and her manipulative cunt of a politician" into a love story for the ages. They would romanticize how they met and how they didn't go public before, because they're so private, blah, blah, blah. And the opposition! My God! Seeing through the whole thing and being very vocal about it, how obvious it is that for a traditionalist is better to be newly married than a divorcee, and that of course it's almost too convenient that the "blushing bride" is ATN's big kahuna's stepkid and how after this announcement Logan is not just a cunning businessman buying himself a president but a doting patriarch supporting his family, aka making his inlaw into the new Oval Office occupant. TMZ would hound them and the whole family, lol. And then you have Vogue doing a full coverage of the wedding. It's the new Kennedys, y'all! Your minds, guys, I swear ♡♡♡♡♡♡

i love the idea of them being kennedy-esque american icons. also obsessed with the way we've fully fleshed out their story from a 1k word drabble lmaoo!!

of course any opposing forces would point out how insane the whole thing is, but everyone acts so flawless in public it's hard to break into anything substantial. and i feel like mencken would weirdly get off with the pair of you being so perfect in public, when in reality your relationship is so incredibly deviant and scandalous.

#asks #succession #jeryd mencken #snow’s headcanons #arranged au

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inchidentally · 11 months ago

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tricky asks below to keep out of tags!

ok so full disclosure I do still ship them in an rpf way from their season together lasgfjlsaghfjl but absolutely, in reality I fully agree their dynamic was big brother and baby brother back then. they're definitely friends in an equals way now and I do like that Lando exerts a lot of confidence now and isn't just Carlos' satellite.

and no worries at all about me leaving the ship I'm honestly just not engaging for a while until pls god the larrying calms down. before Oscar that was my main hardcore rpf ship and I also love the real life friendship Carlos and Lando have. but if ever there was going to be a ship to cause a Kraken-type upset in F1 it's carlando. there's wayyyy too many ppl who are loudly convinced it's a real thing and about the same amount of ppl who think Lando's friendships should be ranked in order of "importance" to him. which would leave only Max F at the top so I guess by their reasoning carlando was fucked before it even started lmaoooooo

oh babe don't bother trying to bring logic into this!!!

I... don't know what this is supposed to be referencing bro? the quote was that people shouldn't assume that guys are friends just bc they're teammates so he didn't like, say that Charles and Carlos aren't? also this was all to do with the personal beef he has w Esteban so I think if he was deciding to say that Carlos and Charles hate each other it would've made waves??

and I gotta remind folks that galex seem to be the only two drivers who are friends the same during the season and off of it. I haven't looked crazy deep into the other friendships but pretty sure none of them really hang much in the off season?

fr I do not get them going after Oscar the way they did Luisinha and now Rebecca (and I'm assuming Isa). it's one type of crazy to hate on real life partners over delulu shit but to start doing that to a guy in another rpf ship??? poor Oscar is just standing there not doing anything and they're alternating between him being carlando ship captain or saying he will NEVER be Carlos to Lando.

oh my goddddd

how can someone want their fandom experience to be constantly getting enraged at reality intruding on a ship that I swear to god never had the remotest plausibility anyway???? considering they stopped existing to each other for the winter months apart from a little press during covid and Carlos was practically engaged to Isa the entire time like ???????

your ask and another I got (but won't post) was from today/yesterday so I'm guessing it was them seeing Carlos and Rebecca apartment hunting in Monaco has set off some fireworks. I saw a cute photo of Carlos and Rebecca chatting w Lando at the Netflix Cup thing and the comments were calling Rebecca the Steve in the situation. Lando literally is talking to the real life couple and that ain't enough to break the delulu.

anyway folks, that's why we look after Lily's remote presence in fandom. gotta keep the shit flying around trying to stick somewhere else lol

#inchreplies #never sure how to tag these but I guess gossip? wank? idk

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pstelwitchcraft · 2 years ago

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Critical Role - C3E52 (before break)

Its so weird to have just 4 people on the table I'm squirming

Poor Imogen just keeps taking L's man my girl can't catch a break

That little "please be okay" 🥺

Very worried about both imogen and laudna whenever they're separated but I guess that's precisely the point

And these are some damn good combinations

Already miss orym, ashton and laudna tho :(

I have a feeling the leylines are going haywire right now and that's why magic can't travel long distances

And/Or they're in the Shadowfell and it's hard for it to go to a different realm right now

Not even Dorian??? Yep, it's the leylines

I LOVE shoebills! Google their call, it sounds like a machine gun

Why do they keep getting attacked by subterranean monsters?? I swear it's a pattern at this point

Oooooo we're in a pretty snowy battlescape i love getting to fight in Santa's backyard

I love ashley's surprised little "ooooh! Oooh!" everytime she has to go

Yesss dominate beast!

Love how they always think matt's abominations are cute, i get it, it IS kinda cute

Damnit i thought we could get a pet :(

NO FCG! No, don't- don't do it- FUCK WHY

42 POINTS OF DAMAGE?? WHAT IN THE NAME OF-

Ya'll what if half the party TPKs. What then?

Imogen continues to be the hottest, like yes babe blow. Shit. Up

Yesssssss we have guests!!

It's Christian and Aabria!!!!!!!!

It's so cute all of them hugging 🥺🥺

Does this mean we're officially not gonna see the others until April??? Kinda sad I'm not gonna lie but I get it

These are COOL FUCKING CHARACTERS

Buff automaton 🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯

Nick Jonas spiritual weapon ��🤣🤣

The hottest legendary mage ever you heard it first here folks

Aabria is always so fun she's my girl too

I always get lost staring longingly at her tho

She's just so prettyyy

EXU was a doozy for my gay self with all the pretty makeup she had as a DM

It's going to be so fun to see FCG finally meet another automaton

Why do i get a feeling he's gonna be horny towards this buff robot? It's something in his eyes, he's plotting some bullshit

AAAAAND my girl fearne gets the hdywtdt

"Oooh, hello!"

I love her sm obliterate him queen

Old lover??? I love Deanna already 😍

Fcg and this robit rn:

Omg fcg is such a little shit stirrer

Fearne is gonna end up banging the new gnome isn't she

I feel like she's gonna bang the gnome

Oh it's been HUNDREDS of years??? I keep forgetting Chet is OLD old

I'm getting worried yall

The gods are being affected by this already?? A day ago??? I'm scareeed

I hate/love that flesh tongue is now canon, sams bullshit always gets carried away from even him i swear

The robot is a flirt 🤣🤣

The energy at the table right now is WILD

Not the HAT 😂😂😂 I am BAwLInG why is aabria so good at being a petty scorned lover 🤣🤣

Awn poor deanna 😞

This is gonna be awesome we now have this character that has been so close to divinity and can show them so much abt the perspective of life and death

Love the backstory dump

Feel like im walking around the hub in a videogame asking every NPC a 1000 questions

Oh my god this robot is so sweet 🥺🥺 i love him

Also VERY obviously sentient and emotional I'm SO interested to understand more abt the great awakening of the bots

Like, why would it happen? Who or what did this??

Oooooh that's what frida means??

I'm SO curious to know what FCG rrally means if anything

Love the cadence Christian gave this robot, i feel like the movements and voice are pretty monotone but not so much that it even feels robotic?? But it's still like something A.I would probably create? Like google translate voice but better.

Also I ship f.r.i.d.a and deanna a lot btw

Chet is going through it right now and honestly i feel like he deserves it 😂

FCG is such a little toddler trying to understand like and it never fails to be both adorable and terrifying

A killer robot with an existential crisis just does not feel good to me fellas

Love the confusing time frames at weekly d&d tables we really could be doing this for a month or a year we have no clue

Yall i'm nervousss there's GOTTA be another shoe about to drop

Like there HAS to be, right? It can't all be alright?? We saw shit blow up, we saw the key go off, so what happened?!

What do you mean imogen's scars are turning red???

#critical role #cr spoilers #cr3 #critical role spoilers #bells hells #critical role c3 #clara watches cr3

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mrchalamet-mrstyles · 2 years ago

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Jfc are y’all really this dense or just tryin to be cute. Be straight sure, fine, great, good, no one gives a shit. It’s the queer-baiting that pisses folk off. Like got damn why is it so hard to find anyone normal in this fandom it’s either you ppl with your head so far up his ass or a buncha damn pedos.

I swear to god if anything can ruin this poor man’s career it will be his stupid af fans.

While it might be frustrating to see celebrities whom we assume (key word being “assume”) to be cis and straight adopt queer aesthetics and practices, no public figure owes us any information about their sexuality. In the end, queerbaiting accusations strip public figures of their humanity and complexity and turn them into characters for our consumption.

Please, do tell me how Tim queerbaits in his personal life. Jfc, playing a queer character on film doesn't make him a queer-baiter. It makes him an actor, doing his job. Wearing women's wear on the red carpet, for his job, doesn't make him a queer-baiter when in his real life, he's in normal streetwear like any other random 20-something you would see in your hometown.

Your need or want for him to be gay is your problem and he owes nothing to anyone on how he decides to present himself. Read the article linked above and educate yourself and learn to mange your expectations of what you assume someone's sexuality is. You are owed nothing from him.

And his career is going to be just fine, even with so-called fans like you harping on this ridiculous bs.

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wench-and-jezebel · 2 years ago

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Dark Angel Reaction: Hit a Sista Back

Jezebel (@typicalopposite) reacts [with occasional asides by Wench (@scripted-downfall)]

Oooop 🙂

[Immediate OMax content] Yus

Bruh Cindy 😂😂😂 tell her what you really think [oof fair] I’d hate for her to see me [Ma’am, don’t even start; guarantee your skin looks better than mine] Hah! HAHAHA! No

[Zach be back ‘sigh’] 😂😂😂😂😂

“Something like that” WHY NOT JUST TELL HER WHAT’S GOING ON?? SHE KNOWS?! [Because Max has to be bitchy and mysterious or she ain’t Max]

Oh nooooo 🥺🥺🥺🥺

[Max, don’t fuck up her life please] I mean she’s not in the wrong to bring it up tho. But also 🥺🥺🥺 [I feel like there’s a difference between “you’re in danger; you don’t know me but the people who took your wife are dangerous” and “your wife/the mother of your child is not who you think she is and you’re all gonna die”] True

Oh boy… Kid’s gifted! Dads like ooop

Noooooo Lintlicker gonna want him! 😤 ‘sigh’ I say nothing

[Oh, look. Lintlicker.] DAMN IT ALL WHY THEY GOTTA KEEP BRINGING KIDS INTO IT 😂😂😂😭😭😭😭

Ugh the dreaded oooOoOooOo! It’s almost worse that the spinning baby [skdlafjlaksjdf wait til you hear the voiceover]

Oh boy. “Since I be broke now” Logan’s gonna be regretting coming out with the info

[Oh, no, not the hiding-things storyline] ☠️☠️☠️☠️

[“[Tinga]’d do the same for me” bitch, no she wouldn’t? You tried this. Multiple times. She was like, yah, no, I’ma dip] ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️ 😂😂😂 “one of them would surely do the same for me… I’mma keep trying til I get the right one” [YEAH. BUT IT’S ALEC. AND SHE GIVES LESS THAN TWO SHITS ABOUT HIM] ☠️☠️☠️ his not a sibling maam! It doesn’t count!😤😤😤 [You right, you right. Sorry, I forgot we just meant siblings and not generic discussions of Manticore folks] 😂😂😂😂😂😂

Oh, so Tings has told them, just a different way [:)]

Lie! No kid falls asleep that easy! [He’s gifted thus falls asleep quickly] ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️

[“These guys never learn” Max, ma’am, nor do you] Ooop

[“I don’t do guns” MA’AM.] Lol [Isn’t this the same logic she used against Logan?] ☠️☠️☠️☠️ [“You have access to money, thus it’s stupid to give it up out of a sense of justice/nobility” “You have access to a gun, thus it’s stupid to not use one out of a sense of… idk” Same argument, so why ain’t she listening to her own strategy???]

[Things were not safer this way]

Max is so emotionless I swear to god [I know! And we know for a fact that’s not a Manticore thing because Ben, Tinga, Alec… they have emotion. Too much emotion, technically. It’s just a Max (and kinda Zach but kinda not) thing]

Ack I hate herrrrrr [Renfro? She pisses me off so much]

[Tinga is. Very pretty. Just saying]

Oooop mama bear! And dad’s an idiot I see [alsfkjaldkfjlakdfj] Like the red flags that should have already been going off…

And you get your head shaved and a tattoo and meticulous training [“can my mommy be there” as;lkdfj;alkdfj;lkj Yes, actually, that’s his whole plan]

[I’m starting to think JamPony won’t be in this much :(] Oh noooo 💔💔💔

[Max, you’ve been there, but only ‘cause you’re not clear about stuff. OC woulda rolled with it and you know it. Kendra… less clear, but still.] Well tbf she did straight up tell them both once and they laughed [She didn’t really try, ma’am. If I wanted you to believe a story, even if you initially laughed, I could make you believe at least that I believed it] Well she didn’t try to explain but she flat out told them ☠️ [Yeah, but that’s what I mean by her a) not being clear and b) not really trying. She’s trying to get cred for not having been able to tell people because they’d not understand, but she literally never gave them the opportunity to.]

Tf! [Not sure that’s how physics works] The anxiety that gave me and it didn’t even show it [That was a very springy rope for tightrope walking, I feel] ☠️☠️☠️

Ma’am! Give them a — ok fair kinda but Hmph

[This poor dude tho getting sucked into it all] I know

– – –

Jezebel: Soooo! I have a feeling somethings gonna go bad! And either husband is gonna die or Tinga is gonna die! Mainly cause I highly doubt kid is gonna die

Wench: All this death!

Jezebel: So much!

Wench: I don’t fully remember how this shakes out — I know some, not the rest — so: You do know that them going back to Manticore is an option. We’re nearing the finale. It’s possible that they’re trying to rescue the kid

Jezebel: Yeahhhhh but idk! Unless they get the kid and he goes back! But they would never let that happen so again. Deth. When’s the last episode? Next one?

Wench: No, two left in the season

Jezebel: Ooooh!

Wench: But I think the last two are together? Iirc? idk for sure

Jezebel: Well, I’m trying to think of more past that, but this has been a very one-themed episode

Wench: No JamPony :(

Jezebel: I know… Is sad. But I’m done!

– – –

[Did. Did she say “objective: offspring” alskjdflaksjdf] ☠️☠️☠️☠️

Oh lord, big bro. Well. Big “bro.” Hubby better watch him

At least their not real or half- ooop 🙂

“They made me young again.” Enough to make any woman switch sides [“they brainwashed you.” Max, why are you surprised by this?]

Ooop! Max actually losing! [btw. Max winning any fight against a Manticore transgenic is so stupid. This woman has been out of the game for ages.] ☠️☠️☠️ [She beats Ben; okay, yeah, that makes sense becuase they’ve both been out for ages. She doesn’t beat Tinga: MAKES SENSE. She beats a number of other “true blue” Manticore soldiers: WHAT?! She should have some degree of advantage from knowing street fight moves but otherwise she should Very Much Not Win]

“He’ll get over it….” Um he might not [Some people actually value interpersonal trust. And don’t lie to their S.O.s] Exactly

I meannnnnnn Zach’s not wrong, but also they would need the protection too [Agreed]

“And then her prince peaced out cause she’s a liar” ☠️ [asldkfj]

💔💔💔

“No, we’re not “not like that” because she’s a transgenic; it’s because we are emotionally constipated please leave it alone” ☠️😂 [askldjflaksdjflkjadsf This kind of thing kinda annoys me though. Like… I get being pissed that someone lied to you. And I get that things might need to adjust. But. person is the same?] Exactly

Oh shit [Ruh roh] Well shit

[Zach is a dick btw] *simultaneously* Aight that was out of line Zach. Agreed until then

Damn [Yep.]

Don’t like Lintlicker anymore. At all [This virus is called foreshadowing (I’m not telling you of what, but it concerns Max. And Logan.)]

BRUH SHES NOT A BREEDING MACHINE [You haven’t seen s2 Dark Angel yet and it shows]

I’m so mad sweet lord. They fucked with the kid. They really fucked with the kid! 😤 [I didn’t remember this, for what it’s worth]

Good! Fuck off, zach

Nooooo! Watch the blonde lady want the kid so she kills Tinga! [I confirm nothing] Cause blonde lady has the murder drone

I hate himmmmmmm. Lintlicker- hmph. I don’t how much of a change he makes

Hmph, his fucking shit eating grin

Oooop look at that you have been double-crossed, asshole!

Oooop look at that! Zach is back... asshole

She’s not one of them; she’s one of THEM! LE GASP

[Guess 656 is Tinga]

I’m confused… Is Brynn dead, or just knocked out? [Knocked out]

Ewww sibling hug [...] Pssssh I know it means more than that. To him at least

Breeeeeeding machine 😦

💔💔💔💔 [“I get why she didn’t tell me. If she had, I would’ve gone the other way.” Yeah, dumbass, that’s why she didn’t tell you. Congrats: you’ve leveled up your empathy stat]

[Max, haven’t you learned about making promises?] ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️

I’ma be honest; I’m not sure the King is the one they should be worried about… I’d be concerned about the Queen

– – –

Jezebel: I feel so bad for Tinga omg! That fucking suckssss

Wench: Yuppppp. And I can’t say it gets better! You get no spoilers beyond that but ye

Jezebel: 😭😭😭😭😭 Honestly, though, this one was kinda boring. I guess setting up for the two-part finale. So I don’t have much to say past what was said

Wench: I don’t know for sure it’s two parts btw. But I think it is because I’m pretty sure they’re both centered around helping Tinga

Jezebel: “Helping” tinga

Wench: Aight… next episode(s) sometime soon, then?

Jezebel: YES

#dark angel #dark angel reactions #reactions #episode reactions #s01e19 #hit a sista back #max guevara #logan cale #jezebel (pr)

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a-gal-with-taste · 3 years ago

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Pretend (Pt. 1)

Summary: Drunk guys suck. It sucks to be around them, be one of them, or worse, be followed by one of them. After being tailed one-too-many blocks, you duck into the first bar you find and grab the most-sober looking man in the room to do a bit of acting. You find, it might have been a more dangerous gamble than you'd ever intended... (AKA, the Fake-Dating AU)

3K+ Wordcount/GN!Reader X Silco (slow-burn-ish)

Warning: SFW but A bit darker than normal, drunk-harrassment, minor descriptions of violence/blood, first-meeting, fake relationship, tension, set shortly after Act 1 yes because I wanted to check out more Act 1 Silco pics, don't act surprised

The door swings loudly, and the slam of it against the wall would be near-deafening, if the sound of the rowdy, pounding dancefloor wasn't already at least twice as noisy. You didn't care, and welcomed the peace of chaos, in fact, as you stormed in without even knowing the name of the bar. You just knew even from the outside, that it was loud, crowded, and easy to lose yourself in.

Immediately working your eyes to plot your escape, planning to duck into the rolling crowd and find an back-exit that couldn't be tailed by-

"C'monnn, ya really gonna be like that?" A hand snagged your sleeve, a paw that tugs you back before you could fully slip into the crowd. You felt your already sore-teeth grind down even more as a second arm snaked over your shoulder, limp but heavy as you were tugged back against an abnormally warmed chest. "Seriously dude, screw off. I wasn't in the mood at the last place, I am definitely not in the mood here."

Stiffening, you feel a pout against your scalp as he leaned over behind you, pressing his face against your hair as the hand on your shoulder started tip-toeing down your arm. It's as stumbling as his steps are. Your body shivers in disgust as you feel him sniff your hair, Gods... "I could make ya into a mood, just gotta say the magic word-" "How about if I say no?!"

"Hm... could be kinda sexy to work ya up to changing that-"

Revolted, you sharply snap your elbow back into his gut before sweeping under his grip and darting between the bodies on the dancefloor, leaving him as lets out an unintelligible, aggravated whine of complaint. You squeezed between a couple, earning their complains of ire before stumbling into the relatively calmer bar-area. Tables crowded and clustered as you glance around for an exit and you swear when you don't immediately detect one.

This place is not familiar, as you rarely go this deep into the city, and for good reason. This is ground-zero for the wildest, darkest and most dangerous folks in the Underworld to come out and play, especially in the more recent events. With Topside still on edge, any relative peace, or at least a handle on the more notorious of the Undercity, was loosened. Things were uncertain, dangerous, and you were the one stupid-enough to go just one-too-many miles down-deep for a night on the town.

But, you could still get out of this without further embarrassments, or worse, with a little help. No bartender worth his business wanted to cause trouble by calling out poor etiquette and lose a customer, especially during these times, so you turned your attention to the patrons. Your luck for the night was already shit, but apparently the universe wanted to really rub it in as you felt hope draining when you looked at your options.

Scanning the area, you felt frustration as you saw most were taking shots, or openly swaying, until your eyes caught a figure who was coming to a stop after a long, controlled stride to the bar from the stairs. No stumbling, just a confident and open swagger that caught your eye instantly as you zeroed your attention on him.

Tall, wiry, slight fraying at his otherwise refined clothing - no pushover, you could spot a slight curve of muscle in his exposed arms, sleeves rolled up as he braced them palm-flat on the counter-edges and leaned over to speak directly to the bartender. You don't particularly care what this guy's face looks like, only if he's got a bit of strength, a bit of intimidation and, gods-willing, a bit of pity in him to play along for five seconds.

There wasn't a lot of pity, nor compassion here. But you could hope, because you didn't know what else to do.

You were no true fighter, doing some manual work every once and a while to get by, but you lived on a higher level in the Undercity, that was almost akin to neighborly. Stabbings, muggings and high-tempered brawling still occurred occasionally, of course, but you were allowed some peace of mind in your daily walk from the apartment, to a market stall, and work, without needing to take a swing to the face. Or give one of your own.

Probably why you were in this mess in the first place, you were just too much of an easy target down here.

The bartender looks half-way to ashen as he's spoken to lowly by a stern man, who now leans back to cross his arms, but the only parts you care about are the fact that he is A: not visibly drunk, or holding a glass in a way that suggests he's about to be, and B: he's alone. No Miss or Mr to throw a fit over what kind of faux-role you're about to play.

You don't stop to think, or wonder if this is asking for more trouble then you're already in. You plastered what you hoped was a smooth grin on your face, half-ran, half-skipped over, and slipped your arms around the man's waist. Beneath his crossed arms, hovering just above actually-touching him as you loudly, and half-pleadingly informed someone who you prayed was sober enough to play along, "Sweetheart, this bum's been following me for three whole blocks! Could you help me out here?"

Your first clue that this was a horrible idea, was the bartender going from a greying-face of terror, to pure, white-faced shock at your open term of endearment. The second came when hands snapped down to yours that are interlocking at the front of the man's waist, grip tight. Unyielding and holding your wrists captive for clue number three...

A snap of a head to the side, just enough so the corner of the glowing red and black eye pierces directly through you like a knife to hold you in place.

The smile you had put on placatingly, to try and sooth him into agreeing to this little act, freezes in place under the simmer of hellfire in the ruined, scarred side of his face. You distantly see his mouth part open, once.

Pauses. Closes, then between slightly-clenched teeth, he growls out the next word in the lowest. Darkest. Most appalled, perplexed and overall stunned tone you've ever heard in your life, to come out of another person's mouth, "Sweetheart?"

Fuck. Fuck.

If the bastard tailing you isn't already an issue, you might just find yourself murdered at this psychopaths hands, based on the way the red eye is already showing you the depths of hell itself.

Still, you try again, widening your eyes and smile in what you hope is perceived as charming. Probably reeking of your desperation.

With your arms finally closing the distance to squeeze around his waist, feeling a jerk beneath your touch as his jawline goes wireline tense, you lean up closer under that impossibly burning red gaze, "Sweetheart. Lover-boy. Yessir. Handsome, literally whatever you want me to call you..." You subtly tilt your head to the side, breath caught as he turns to you fully, a second, human eye fixated on you in a low slit as he stares directly into your eyes. The grip hasn't loosened or removed from your wrists. "... there's a guy in a purple shirt following me, baby, and I really, really need some help."

There's a solid minute where he's just... staring at you. Boring holes into your eye-sockets in the most intense, duel-colored staring contest of your life, and you whisper hoarsely as your face struggles not to fall, "I will literally buy you the entire menu if you do this. Help me. Please."

A beat.

The green-eye slips fully closed and there's hot air brushing past your face as he scoffs out a breath, sounding in disbelief paired with a slight shake of his head. You feel your heart sinking down to your stomach, humiliation and nausea suddenly burning in your eyes, your throat, and go to try and free your hands from his burning grip, find that damn exit- "Water, on ice. Now."

The fresh drink nearly slides off the countertop with the speed it's made-in by a otherwise petrified bartender, and after freeing one hand, long-fingers catch the glass before it could fall and crash onto the floor.

The freshly released hand from the man's immobile grip is full of the frigid glass as he securely presses it into your hand, forcing your fingers to curl around it. You grip it like a lifeline as the world, or rather, he moves around you. A practiced arm curling smoothly close to your wrist, hovering like yours did, before he forces you to suddenly keep up close beside him as he strides from the counter. You see the free hand lazyily lift, give signal or two to some stonier-thugs near the wall, and they disappear.

Unable to find time to turn and watch where they're going, as your guide stops before your destination: a private booth in the very back of the bar.

"Purple, you say?"

Your head manages a nod as you all but crawl into the cushed seat, worn and a bit of thread poking out at the seams. More focus is given to the man who still holds your sweaty-palm, steadying your balance when you nearly slide off the seat. "Easy now. Take a drink, clear your head." You hear him mutter, "Purple, fix a glass." Assuming he's talking to one of the thugs, but you can't really care as you finally take a seat, leaning hard against the wall. Hands wrapped around the ice-water with a vengeance, you resolve to keep your head down and out of sight as your... the guy, takes a seat across from you.

Except he doesn't.

He smoothly slides into the seat right next to you, like he's always done that.

"Drink," The order is repeated, quiet and low, and the glass is halfway to your lips before you stop yourself. There's a sigh, and you catch a long fingers in your peripheral, before they disappear beneath the glass. Guiding the chilled material to your lips, the gentle but insistent force of his touch on the glass finds you automatically opening your mouth, and half-freezing your throat as you take a quiet drink.

"Slowly. I am trying to calm you down, not make you sick all over my booth..." "I'm not drunk," You rasp as you lower the glass with a clink back onto the table. Steeling yourself, chancing a glass towards him earns you a side-eye of epic proportions, the sea-green eye unreadable once more in it's slitted fashion, dark brow narrowed downward slightly.

He scoffs. "Based on the stunt you just pulled, I consiter you the most sobered drunkard to ever grace this pub." You drop your eyes back to your glass, ears and face burning. "Well, I couldn't find the other exit-" He interrupts, a bit disbelieving, "You've never been to The Last Drop? Thought all the fools end up here one way or another."

You find yourself scowling, watching the frosty perspiration build on the sides of your glass, "Well, I didn't expect assholes to make their home here either." There's a beat, and you suddenly feel that burning sensation at the side of your head. Akin to hellfire, and you sigh, ducking your head a bit, "Sorry, I just..."

It's not a laugh; barely a chuckle. It's a low rumble that sounds, that suggests your gall bemused him one way or another. Regardless of what it's classed as, you feel some tension released from you, even though you also get the feeling it really, really shouldn't.

There's a grunt and you look up, freeze as you see your catcaller, then stalker being shoved across from you at the booth. Hazed eyes take a minute, especially as he's visibly swaying, but he notes you soon enough, and the man who sits beside you, calm with hands folded atop one another on the table. "... you lil' bitch, ya ran off 'n called the calvary, didja?"

Any comment you want to make in your defense dies quickly. It's buried the moment he casually lifts his arm, up and over you, and around your shoulders. The half-scarred face man casually slips you down the seat until you're flush against him, hip to hip, as if he's been doing it for as long as he could remember. "That's not the nicest thing to call my partner. I suggest you use softer words from here on out. It's for your own benefit, I assure you."

His tone is nonchalant. Like he didn't just wrapped an arm around you. Like he didn't just say 'partner'. Like you aren't sitting there, flush against him, and he just sat there and called you his 'partner.'

It's what you wanted, yes. Needed, in fact, but...

But he said 'partner' like it was true. And a part of you liked the way he said it.

"Oi, they came onto me, man, I dunno whatcha want," Drink making the lie almost sound truth, but you still stiffen, bristle at the gall of this man as a large, thick-glassed cup is placed before him, filled with ale that he eagerly begins to chug. Intoxicated as he may be, you still hiss at him, "You bastard, that's not what the fuck happened-!"

"Sweetheart." Your mouth is dry, and then it's shut as the low murmur breathed close to your ear continues, "Let me handle this."

You quietly find yourself bringing the glass, ice clinking, back up to your mouth, focusing on chugging down the chilled water. And the thumb rubbing slow circles on your shoulder as he straightens, and looks across at your cat-caller, studying him with something akin to boredom.

"What's your name?"

"Geyre." You snort at the name, it earns you a small squeeze at the shoulder. "Hm. Geyre..."

Blunt nails tap on the tabletop, mixed-colored eyes watching the man impassively for a moment before he suddenly says, "Never liked sharing the Playground with fools. It's like working with children." "Oh yeah?" A dull thud as he plops the bottom of his glass on the table, sizing up the wiry man across from him with narrowed eyes, "Reckon I don't look like no kid."

"No, but you run around like one. Wailing for toys you'll break or smash, causing mischief that I have no time, paitence nor eagerness to clean up." He reclines back, and you, still linked to him by an arm across your shouldersz recline with him. The thumb never stops rubbing against your shoulder. "I get enough trouble from Topside coming down to have playdates, breaking toys, people and the like... I don't need a drunken toddler running about as well."

"Ya saying 'm like one of those damn topsiders?"

A frown, and you can picture the red-eye glinting, surrounded in black as the sea-foam one rolls up the the ceiling. "No, my analogy is on children, and the fact that you apparently seem to have the mental capacity of one. So, let me make this more clear..." He cleared his throat, and your eyes couldn't help but drop down to the white tie at his neck bobbing as it did so.

You took another drink of iced-water as he spoke, lowly, "Get out of my bar. Stay out of my side of town. Don't cause trouble. And if I hear more problems being caused by fools like you, I don't intend to ask around to see who did it, or if you were involved at all..." A small head tilt and a careless shrug. "I'll just kill you anyways."

The ice-chip feels like a knife going down your throat as you stare. One man going beet-red, hand tight and knuckles ashen around the glass in hand. And your so-called 'sweetheart' reclining with you halfway into his lap, while he's casually threatening to kill a man for giving him a minor headache.

Suddenly, you start to think perhaps you should've done a quick introductory before you chose him out of the crowd.

"... been 'ere before, did I mention that?" The haze seems to lift a bit, life and spite returning to the eyes that only held intoxication across the table. "Back before there was an ownership change..."

"I remember a Hound being 'ere... before there was a rat."

"Ah." The green-eye narrows, you can picture the red one blazing, and the soothing, petting motion on your shoulder finally stills. "Do you now? Well, I don't know if you've heard the rumor..." Geyre snorts, cutting off the low drawl, but you barely hear, as your mind begins to ring with the new, yet already familiar empty phrase that's been circulating these last couple months.

'Heard the rumor... heard the rumor yet.... heard it...?'

"Vander scared the livin' shit outta all of us from the glory-days, even when he was goin' soft. S'only reason we stuck together, did what 'e said even when times got tough... Vander was a scary sonovabitch, even spooked me..." The intoxicated man, eyes already going hazy as he wraps a hand around the handle of the glass, manages out a biting remark of scorn before his words start slurring again, "So trust me on this... ya ain't no Vander."

The air goes still. Cut by the guzzling of another gulletful of ale, and you suddenly realize something:

It's been awfully quiet.

A pub, and a dance-floor, have gotten eerily quiet at the height of the evening, and you figure out why when you glance around your 'partner' and realize the club has been entirely cleared out. Save for the thugs that were signaled to earlier, and a dozen of their brethren watching with cool, awaiting faces. They look on with anticipation, a challange or doubt in their eyes at they watch the man beside you, and see what his response is going to be... Some look excited, and you glance up at the man sitting beside you to see why...

And he's smiling. Showing off a low grin full of cracked, slightly crooked teeth, and a tooth gap that should not be as endearing as it is, consitering the nature of that smile on his face...

He smiles like a cat that just caught a bird. Like a shark tasting blood.

He smiles like he just found something that just made his evening a bit more exciting, even if his voice is as low, and cheery as the grave as he draws out smoothly between his lips, "No, I'm afraid I am not... unfortunately, I am nothing like Vander."

It's halfway over before you realize it happened.

Warmth fades from your shoulder as the hand retracts from you, while the other hand lunges, and latches onto purchase on the hair of the condemned bastard from across the table, as he rises halfway to his feet to dig claws into hair at the speed of a viper.

The large, thick glass cup is held just comfortably below the man's face. So when your 'partner' tugs down sharply, slamming him face-down onto the table, the glass is caught between the wooden surface, and face.

It shatters on the heavy impact of a booze-heavy head, at the same time you hear several sickening cracks. It's akin to the time you watched a neighbor get his nose broken.

A brutal tug up on short locks of hair, and the blood-steaked, glass cut face of Geyre is brought back into view. Before it's thrown back down onto a table covered in glass shards and blood, another sickening sounds.

And again, as his face is slammed back down again.

And again.

Again.

And again-

When he's limp, red, and the large glass shards scattered everywhere on the surface are nearly reduced back to sand, does the man you called 'Sweetheart' lean back, settle down in his seat. Does another small scoff as he languishly brushes a hand on his vest, clean off any remaining grease he imagines soiling his hand.

Doesn't do anything about the smear of flung-blood left on his unmarred cheek, or staining the arms from where his sleeves are rolled up, as he turns and gazes at the assortment of his goons around the rest of the bar.

He raises a nonchalant brow, and your stunned mind realizes that this entire show... it was as much an act as yours was, when you threw your arms around him and called him 'sweetheart.'

His goons are now staring at him in approval, grim satisfaction and renewed respect, might as well have been a standing-ovation, though his cool expression never changes for a moment to show his pleasure.

"The Last Drop is our new base now. Home, if you want to be sentimental. Base of operations, base of work, and while it can be a base for pleasure, I expect filth like this," He gestures vaugely to the limp form of the man, lying too still on the table with blood steadily dripping off the side, and onto the ground below. "...to stay on the streets. Set an example. Show control, especially in our own house. And if you see something like this again... well. I assume you all know how to make sure no one ever sees it again."

He doesn't need to order the body - or the unconcious man, you realize with a jolt as you hear a broken groan - off the table. Two are already plucking it off, with an equally unnerved, but unsurprised bartender coming by to quickly begin to sweep the glass, wipe down the blood and make the incident disappear entirely.

Long fingers reach over, and take your chin. It's a loose grasp, one you can shake off.

You can't and he knows it, as he turns your head back to him so he could get a look at your face.

The green watches you impassively, while the red burns through you. A small purse of his lips as he gave a consitering him, reaching up delicately to pluck a bit of glass of your hair. As his hand retracts, that warm thumb that had been caressing your shoulder trails down your face, and catches the splattered speckles of blood on your cheek.

He smiles, again. It's different from the one he gave the doomed man, but you still feel like prey.

"So, sweetheart... what am I going to do with you?"

#if anyone wants to get me ANYTHING for my upcoming birthday #please get me a soundbite of Jason growling out 'sweetheart'#i would die + be reborn and also cherish it forever #and i would make you cookies #i make kickass cookies #arcane #silco #arcane silco #silco x reader #silco x gender neutral reader #arcane fanfic #fanfiction #my writing #pretend!verse #also i set it after act 1 so i have more excuses to stare longingly at Silco's act 1 attire #i'm not ashamed to admit it #i wanted an excuse

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makeste · 3 years ago

Text

BnHA 323: “I Don’t Know How to Explain to You That You Should Care About Other People”

Previously on BnHA: Kacchan was all, “Izuku, I’m sorry.” Bakugou Stans were all, “[sobs for a week straight and tearfully awards him the Nobel Prize for character development].” Deku was all, “[faints in Kacchan’s arms].” Iida was all, “[trying to decide if Ochako genuinely tried to kill him a few minutes ago].” Horikoshi was all, “NO TIME FOR HUGS WE MUST GET BACK TO UA.” The civilians holed up at U.A. were all, “WE TOOK A VOTE AND DECIDED THAT WE’RE ALL GOING TO BE JERKS ABOUT THIS AND MAKE A BIG FUSS ABOUT YOU LETTING DEKU BACK INTO THE SCHOOL.” Deku was all “[stands there looking like he expected nothing less and breaking my heart more and more with each passing moment].” Ochako was all, “that does it, looks like I’m gonna have to do something about this... next chapter, that is.”

Today on BnHA: Flashback!Rat Principal is all “I just want you all to know that I spent nine million dollars turning U.A. into a giant Battleship-style grid that can burrow underground and zoom around in a giant subway maze because Horikoshi lacks a grounded understanding of both civil engineering and economics.” Back in the present day, Jeanist is all, “EVERYONE TAKE HEED, MY COMRADES AND I HAVE DEEMED IT EXPEDIENT TO CONVEY THIS AUSPICIOUS YOUTH BACK TO THIS STRONGHOLD. WE ANTICIPATE THAT WE MAY DEPEND UPON YOUR GOODWILL AND ACQUIESCENCE TO THESE TERMS.” The civilians were all, “NO.” Ochako was all, “EMPATHY, MOTHERFUCKERS, DO YOU SPEAK IT?!” The civilians were all, “oh shit.” Anyway so Ochako is a giant badass, but I’m a little worried that she’s going to get struck by lightning. Please come down from there.

so before we start this chapter, I would just like to apologize for having not posted the ch 321 recap yet, and would like to reassure everyone, and especially Iida who is staring at me with Sad Wobbly Guilt Trip Eyes, that I will get to that as soon as I can

OMG FLASHBACK??

yes please Horikoshi please show us more of class 1-A and their Deku intervention strategy jam sessions

oh dear

Iida you are too pure and good for this cruel world. [sprays the U.A. civilians with a water bottle] NO. BAD CIVILIANS! NO OSTRACIZING SCARED AND EXHAUSTED CHILDREN IN THE HOUSE

EXCUSE ME RAT PRINCIPAL WHAT’S WITH THESE MIXED MESSAGES

???

RAT PRINCIPAL: he’s free to return to us at any time!!

ALSO RAT PRINCIPAL: but it’s too risky for him to return to us

?? ??????? ?????????????????????

so now he’s going on about how strong the U.A. Barrier is, and how it’s comparable to the defensive capabilities of Tartarus. this would have sounded a lot more impressive before chapter 297 lol

OH!!!! HELLO, WHAT’S THIS!!!

A TIMELY CALLBACK TO A CERTAIN MYSTERIOUS EVENT WHICH HASN’T BEEN REFERENCED SINCE USJ? [U.A. TRAITOR MUSIC INTENSIFIES]

so now Rat Principal says he upgraded U.A.’s security systems with his own “modifications”, whatever the fuck that means. I mean look, I’ve been saying for a long time now that U.A. is the best place for everyone to hole up, don’t get me wrong. but that was mostly on account of there not being any other practical alternatives. but you’re making it sound like you figured out a way to actually make it Decay-proof or some wild shit like that

-- hold up, DID YOU ADD A FORCE FIELD. DID YOU TRICK THIS SCHOOL OUT WAKANDA-STYLE YOU CRAZY MARSUPIAL. HOLY SHIT. because that would actually be perfect

LMAO

WHAT KIND OF GALAXY BRAIN BULLSHIT. “NAH THERE’S NO NEED FOR A FORCE FIELD, LET’S JUST PUT WHEELS ON IT”

oh okay so the whole campus is basically capable of burrowing itself underground. that’s insane lol I wonder how they pulled that off. probably got poor Cementoss working overtime

blah blah blah so basically the entire campus is split into a grid and each section of the grid is capable of its own independent movement. lol this is just the Merone Base from KHR. you thought no one would notice this casual plagiarism ten years after the fact, but YOU UNDERESTIMATED YOUR AUDIENCE, HORIKOSHI

“joke’s on you imma just lampshade it” WELL ALL RIGHT THEN

“look at me I’m so fucking self-aware” fucking swear to god. I can’t believe this man is my favorite mangaka of all time smdh

“excuse me, I wasn’t finished describing all the rest of this bullshit yet,” Rat Principal breaks in impatiently. “we also added a steel wall all around the underground of the campus that’s 3000 steel plates thick. that’s fifteen fucking meters of solid fucking steel just fyi. and if anyone fucks around with any part of it the defense system will activate immediately! and also all of the plates are independently motorized, whatever the fuck that means!! in conclusion you’re gonna need a fucking tower crane to suspend all of your disbelief by the time I’m through with this paragraph”

“also Shiketsu is almost as reinforced as U.A. but not quite because we still had to make sure we were better.” but of course. and apparently the two schools are connected via a secret tunnel as Hagakure mentioned earlier

LSDKFJLSDKJFLK

“WAIT WHAT” LMAO YOU HEARD HIM, NOW INASA CAN VISIT YOU BOTH IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT AND TELL YOU ALL ABOUT THE WEIRD DREAM HE HAD. GOD BLESS YOU HORIKOSHI

(ETA: moment of appreciation for Shouto and Katsuki having the same thought at the same time and making Knowing Eye Contact and saying the exact same thing out loud in perfect unison like the best friends they are. what a blessed day.)

so Tokoyami is all “but wait if you engineered all this shit all the way back during the Band arc how did you even know that Tomura’s quirk awakening would become a thing, Horikoshi -- uh, I mean, Principal Nezu”

and Rat Principal is all “lol idk”

“basically I just woke up one morning and was all ‘say, you know what this school really needs? a fifteen-meter-thick underground steel wall, and the ability to break up into little pieces that individually zoom around wherever the fuck they want.’ jesus christ. lol if money and common sense were apparently no obstacle why didn’t you just teleport U.A. to the fucking moon or something. maybe I should shut up before I given him any ideas

dsfaelkjldkjgl

you heard it here first, folks, all of this cost a grand total of nine million U.S. dollars. well technically it cost “more than” nine million dollars. never has that distinction been more important lmao. are we sure this barrier was really made of steel and not cardboard? who the hell sold it to them, Ea-Nasir??

this is my favorite manga series of all time. yes I am ashamed

“in conclusion please do your best to reach Deku-kun” SO WHAT WAS ALL THAT NONSENSE ABOUT IT BEING TOO RISKY THEN. anyway thank you for this super informative and edifying flashback, Horikoshi. I will cherish it always. I don’t even want to read another translation of this absurdity lmao, there’s something special about it just the way it is. pretty sure Horikoshi just had a cracked out fever dream one night and transferred it to the pages of the manga verbatim

anyway so back to the unruly mob

not their finest moment. please excuse me while I cover poor Deku’s ears and give him a good shoosh pap

oh wow the parents are out here too

is Mitsuki trying to hold Inko back?? that’s the last thing this fandom needs right now is more Mitsuki discourse fffwlkjs. and even Jiroudad, scientifically proven to be the best dad in all of BnHA, is just standing there silently looking vaguely unhappy. way to rise to the moment you guys

MONOMA

so this settles it for me that Aizawa is not at UA. I know a lot of people have been wondering about his whereabouts, and if I had to wager a guess it would be that something happened with Shirakumo/Kurogiri. I can’t think of anything else -- even the loss of an eye and a limb -- that would keep him from his kids at a time like this

anyway but this is excellent Monoma content right here though. I love that he apparently adopted Eri after a single interaction with her. also WHERE IS SHINSOU DAMMIT. THE PEOPLE NEED TO KNOW

and Kouta’s there too looking like he wants to run over to Deku but Ragdoll won’t let him :/

it’s gotta be pretty upsetting for him to see his hero like this and not having anyone stand up for him. [taps megaphone] IS THIS THING ON. OKAY YEAH IT SEEMS TO BE WORKING. AHEM. PAGING URARAKA OCHAKO. GONNA NEED YOU TO GET OVER HERE ALREADY AND MAKE THAT BIG DRAMATIC SPEECH WHICH YOU ARE CLEARLY DYING TO MAKE. IF YOU DON’T DO IT SOON I’M GONNA HAVE TO STEP IN, AND YOU REALLY DON’T WANT ME TO DO THAT SINCE MY SPEECH WILL NOT BE VERY GOOD OR INSPIRING, AND WILL PROBABLY JUST CONSIST OF “HELLO, YOU ARE ALL STUPID, PLEASE SHUT UP AND GO AWAY”

so now Mic is telling them to calm down. at least someone’s speaking up here, geez

OH MY GOD

MY MAN JEANIST OUT HERE DOING WHAT HE DOES BEST: MAKING EVERYONE FEEL GUILTY AND JUDGED

OH MY GOD HE IS GIVING SUCH A LONG AND BORING SPEECH LMAO IS YOUR STRATEGY TO PUT THEM ALL TO SLEEP OR WHAT

truly in awe of this man’s ability to take messages which could easily be conveyed in ELI5-speak, and stubbornly convert them into incomprehensible language the likes of which you need a graduate degree in order to understand

“hey guys, so originally our plan was to use Deku as bait for the villains, but that didn’t really work and also we realized it was kinda dumb and was probably gonna get him killed, so we brought him back here instead.” was that really so hard, Jeanist. also are we all really just gonna sit back here and watch Jeanist take full credit for Bakugou’s plan just like that lmao

(ETA:

WHERE DID ENDEAVOR GO AND WHO IS THIS DIABOLICAL MASTER OF DISGUISE. lol I genuinely didn’t notice this because I was too busy digging through thesauruses trying to rewrite Jeanist’s speech; many thanks to @class1akids for pointing it out and making my day immeasurably better. take it easy there Dick Tracy.)

“anyway so please stop being dicks and let him fucking rest so he can save all your ungrateful asses” what an impassioned and inspiring plea. time to see if the masses will listen to reason

narrator: they did not listen to reason

oh my god finally Ochako is doing something. YEAH OCHAKO WOOOO SHOW THEM HOW IT’S DONE

hmm

this entire chapter is truly and utterly nonsensical to me lol

(ETA: on my second readthrough I’m fucking dying at how she stole the megaphone right out of Mic’s hand lmao. and how Kacchan is all “fuck yeah nothing I appreciate more than some quality fucking larceny.”)

oh I see she was jumping on top of the main building so as to scream down at them all more impressively

“ANYWAY DEKU IS PRETTY COOL ACTUALLY, YOU GUYS ARE JUST MEAN” couldn’t have said it better myself Ochako

lol uh

gotta say I did not have “Ochako reveals the secret of OFA to the entire U.A. Citizen Clown Parade” on my bingo card for this week. it’s a bold strategy cotton let’s see if it pays off

SDLFKJSL

“NO, SERIOUSLY, HAVE YOU LOOKED AT HIM YOU GUYS. YOU THINK HE LIKES RUNNING AROUND DRESSED LIKE A RUSTED OIL DRUM?? HE DID THAT FOR YOU YOU UNGRATEFUL SLOBS”

so she is basically explaining the entire Deku Angst arc to them and explaining what a good and selfless protagonist Deku is, YES, PREACH

OMG IT’S THE GIGANTIC FOX LADY

not to insinuate anything, but what exactly were you doing standing out here with the hysterical mob, Gigantic Fox Lady? you’re better than that

-- KACCHAN SIGHTING!!

sdlkfjl. thanks for weighing in with that helpful and important observation. where have you been for the last five minutes. were you asleep. was it Jeanist’s speech

never mind, now he’s yelling at the civilians so I instantly forgive him

THE FUTURE NUMBER ONE HERO, EVERYONE. THANK YOU, THANK YOU. HE’LL BE HERE ALL WEEK

“anyway so I’m just going to end the chapter here” lmao seventeen pages truly do go by so fast. at least he didn’t try to force in a cliffhanger at the end this time. dare I say, growth

so I guess the civilians are either gonna have a Kamino and/or Fukuoka-esque moment where they remember how to be decent people and apologize to this poor young man, or else they’ll remain unpersuaded, and so Kacchan will have to knock a few of their heads around until they become more inclined to be reasonable. either option is fine by me lol

#bnha 323 #uraraka ochako #rat principal #class 1-a #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #makeste reads bnha

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bakubub · 3 years ago

Text

In which Racer!Kuroo is your roommate and you finally learn more about him...

Warnings: Mentions of loss of loved one, disregard for own life, swearing, innuendos and implied nsfw (but sfw overall), fem!reader with she/her pronouns.

A/N: Idek what this is. Its literally a 4.6 k mixture of fluff, angst and comfort... I rewrote this like 4 times :,) being a perfectionist is so,,, tiring.

This takes part shortly after this, you can definitely read this without reading the 'part 1' if you will, since they don't depend on one another.

Art belongs to @aikk00 ,, and yes I am still in love with it :D

I stumble out of the lecture hall, my eyes so heavy I bump into about 3 other students and mumble my apologies until I fully wake up and snap out of my daze.

Walking down the stairs and making my way to the bus stop, I watch in horror as the bus I was supposed to be in drives off, going fast for once in its damn life as if mocking me.

Inhaling sharply through my nose, I manage to keep my composure and sit down at the bus stop, telling myself the next bus will be here in a bit.

It's fine. It's fine. I slept through the lecture, and I still have to catch up on 4 subjects and make dinner, but at least the house is clean and I'm caught up in that one subject I picked up for this exact reason.

It's fine. It's going to be just fi-

The rumble of a loud engine breaks my shitty but somewhat effective self-reassurance motto and I open my eyes to see a black and red sports car going 60 km/h in a 30 zone, effectively getting mine and everyone else's attention.

I watched in horror for the second time today as this time it stopped right in front of the bus stop. No, no, no, no.

No.

Please no.

He rolls down the passenger window with that ridiculous hair and a shit-eating grin, as he nods towards the seat, revving his engine.

I look away, pretending he's not looking directly at me and that I don't live with the guy, which I immediately regretted when he beeped the fucking horn.

What did I do to deserve this humiliation?

I hastily put my head down as he beeped it again, giving up and rushing towards his insufferable car, getting into the passenger seat and slumping in my seat to keep my head down low.

"What is wrong with you? What are you even doing here?" I hiss, my glaring up at him from my awkward, folded position.

He laughs, and when I hear the sound of a photo being taken in the split second I looked away to readjust my bag, I sit up straight, watching him continue speeding as he stuffs his phone into his pocket.

"Are. You. Trying. To. Kill. Me?!" I ask, my voice little less than a screech as I slap his arm with each word.

"Ow, ow, I just came to pick my roomie up! I sensed you needed a ride, and this is the thanks I get?" he asks, that smirk I have come to hate returning to grace his features.

I glare at him, but a small, sleep-deprived part of my brain is distracted by his appearance. A tight black tee adorning his built figure, his biceps are on display as he drives with one hand, the other resting on the gear shift. The air from his rolled down window is ruffling his hair this way and that, and I find myself wanting to run my hands through the raven strands, just as I had when I washed his hair that one time...

"Wait- how the fuck did you know I didn't have a ride?" I ask incredulously, my reaction time clearly delayed but here nonetheless.

I narrow my eyes as he hesitates before he answers, "I just knew, ok? It's not like it’s astrodynamics, not that I can't figure that out too."

"Kuroo, what the hell is astrodynamics? Are you like, spying on me or something?" I ask, pretending to look out the window so as to not get distracted by his appearance once more.

"What do you common folk call it? Rocket science?" He says, once again exceeding the speed limit.

"If I'm a commoner, does that make you a peasant? Also, stop going so fast, I feel sick and I do not feel like dying today."

He rolls his eyes in response as he slows down by a smidgen, the speed meter barely even moving. "Seriously, you may have no consideration for yourself, but I still have a lot of things to achieve with my damn life so slow the fuck down." My words finally reach the rational part in him and he slows down considerably, now going within the speed limit.

Taking a deep breath, I rest my elbow on my door and look out the window, my mind flooding with thoughts about Kuroo's reckless driving and how it can all go sour with one delayed reaction.

Before I know it, we're rolling up to our apartment building, driving into his private garage only the penthouse owners get to use.

"I'm sorry," he mutters, filling the silence in the car.

"It's ok. I just... I want you to be safe. I know its hard, but... just try," I say quietly, unable to look at him.

"That's what he said," he says hastily before rushing out of the car before I can hit him.

Getting out of the vehicle myself, I send a murderous look his way and run after his retreating form.

A small part of me is grateful that he's acting like his usual unbearable self again, but the rest of me is just mad at his relentless sex jokes.

He hits the elevator button before I can get there and I watch the doors close, his smirk practically shining through the crack of the closing doors. I jam my foot in the middle at the last possible second, and smile victoriously as I get into the metal box and slap his arm once again.

"Ooh, do it harder," he practically moans, and my eyes just about pop out of their sockets in embarrassment as my face flushes a deep red.

"Oh shut up," I mutter, turning around and waiting patiently for the doors to open on the top floor. I hear him snicker and then the sound of a photo being taken, turning around sharply. I yell in defiance and throw my bag on the floor as I jump onto him in an attempt to grab his phone out of his hand and delete the probably unflattering photo.

I straddle his back and reach for the phone he easily holds out of my reach. Leaning across his shoulder in a feeble attempt to reach it, my feet are hooked around his chest and my other hand is using his shoulder as a brace. He's laughing hard at this point, and I'm screaming at him to give me the damn phone. Neither of us notice the elevator doors opening nor the small woman standing at the threshold staring at us in shock and amusement.

"Kuroo Tetsuro! You let that poor girl down this instant, young man!"

We both froze at the authoritative voice, slowly turning to look at a small dark haired woman with a straight shoulder length cut and narrow gold eyes that were glaring at the man under me.

"MUM!" He exclaims, setting me down and running to hug and kiss the woman, his mum apparently. "What are you doing here?" I hear him ask as I straighten myself out, fixing my jumper and tucking my hair behind my ears, picking up my bag off the floor and quickly following them out of the elevator.

"What, a mother needs an excuse to come visit her boys? Where's Kenma?" She asks, looking in the elevator again as if to check if she missed him.

"Oh, he's at his own place. Apparently he has a booked in session with this famous gamer today. Did he say he'd be here?" Kuroo asks, letting go of the woman and leaning on the wall.

"No, I didn't tell anyone I was coming to visit. Never mind that, who's this pretty young lady here, hmm?" She asks, raising a perfectly shaped brow as she walks towards me, the click of her heels echoing in the lobby of the penthouse.

I smiled down at her, since she was considerably shorter than even me, and introduced myself. "It's very nice to meet you, Mrs. Kuroo." I say, bowing.

"Oh no, no, none of that. You can call me mum too, hmm?" She says, gesturing me up from my bow and pulling me down for a tight hug.

"Oh, um, actually, me and Kuroo aren't-"

"We’ll talk more comfortably inside, no? Tetsuro, is your plan to let me stand here all day?” She asks, letting me go and turning around to look at Kuroo.

Kuroo leaps into action, taking his mum's bag and unlocking the door, helping her out of her heels and leading her into the spotless penthouse.

It was all I could do to nod in response, closing the door behind us and walking down into the kitchen to prepare a meal.

It’s crazy how much I don’t know about this guy. He’d never mentioned his mother before, and briefly mentioned that he has a sister, whether older or younger I have no idea. Kenma, however, I know well. The guy was here all the time when I first started living here, but recently I've seen him less and less. Which is a shame, considering we actually got along quite well, with sharing eye rolls and bonding over our mutual love of Minecraft.

I don't notice silent footsteps following me until Kuroo's Mother says "now, why's a beautiful girl like yourself slaving away in the kitchen? Does that boy make u do all the cooking and cleaning like some mid-century housewife?"

I poke my head out of the fridge, smiling at her fair assumptions, "no, no, it's not like that at all. I actually-"

"Uh, mum! You know I'm incompetent with this stuff. This place would be a mess if she wasn't here to run things! Plus, she loves to cook and finds cleaning therapeutic. Hey, her words not mine," Kuroo quickly jumps in, putting his hands up defensively when she looks at him with a raised brow.

Looks like he doesn't want his mother to know of our little arrangement.

"Right. He's just so hopeless, I can't trust him to do anything," I add on, sending her a smile as I prepare the fish he likes.

"You're making grilled mackerel for dinner?! Oh that's gonna hit the fu- the fun spot," he says, saving himself at the last second.

I hold back a snort as I take out a pan, "open the window, fish boy. It's about to stink here and I can't be bothered with Mrs. Suzuki coming all the way upstairs just to complain about the fish smell, and then complaining that she had to come up here in the first place. God, I hope she isn't sitting on the balcony today," I ramble, trying to see her balcony from outside the window, but fail because of the private location.

Damn these amazing architects.

I hear his mum chuckle at my rambling as she begins to take out ingredients for a salad. "Oh, you don't have to help, please sit and make yourself comfortable," I say, moving towards her to take the lettuce out of her hands.

"No, no, I'd like to pitch in. Now what kind of mother-in-law would I be to let you do everything yourself?" She asks, holding the lettuce away from me and walking over to the sink.

I stare at the back of her head, a flush creeping up my neck, "m-mother-in-law?!" I ask incredulously, glancing over at Kuroo who looked suspiciously... Smug. I look away quickly when he meets my eyes, and I hastily hyper-focus on the fish in front of me, placing it on the heated pan, causing sizzling and popping to fill the awkward silence.

"I'm sorry darling, I don't mean to be overbearing. Tetsuro introduced you as his girlfriend, so I thought things were getting serious since he actually allowed us to meet one another. You see, he’s never introduced me to a girl before, so you can imagine my excitement. I can stop if you're uncomfortable-"

I cut her off, feeling even more embarrassed as I realise the role I am to play in Kuroo's life when his mother is around. I mean, it makes sense, he can't exactly just admit he took a random girl into his house.

"I, um, no really it's fine, I understand" I say, my voice small as I flip the fish.

She lets out a delighted laugh and pulls me down into a hug once more. The smile on my face is genuine as my embarrassment melts away, the bright smile of this woman comforting me.

"So, how did you guys meet?" She asks, chopping up the ingredients for her salad on the bench while I'm at the stove, Kuroo leaning on his elbows on the bench.

"At uni," I answer at the same time as Kuroo states, "at a party."

We both look at each other with wide eyes, and I clear my throat to clarify, "at a uni party. A classmate of ours hosted one and we met each other there."

"I see, so the old boozed up one night stand turned into quite a domestic relationship hmm?" she suggests, wiggling her eyebrows at Kuroo.

"What? No, no, I would never! A one night stand? Booze? Please, what kind of man do you take me for?" Kuroo complains, looking offended.

I turn around towards the stove and roll my eyes. I've heard the rumours around campus, practically every girl in my lecture hall can testify to at least making out with the man. He really puts up a façade for his mum.

I hear the doorbell ring, and quickly take the fish off the stove to go answer it as Kuroo bickers with his mother about how innocent he really is.

"Hello? Who is it?" I ask, pressing the buzzer.

"Uh, hello? Is this Tetsu's place?" A deep voice answers. I look at the camera, seeing Kenma and a bunch of men about Kuroo's age looking confused. The one who answered is a guy with a blond mohawk and piercings adorning both ears.

"Yes, just give me a second," I reply. "Kuroo, I think Kenma and the rest of your friends are here? Should I let 'em up?" I shout out.

"Yeah let 'em in," he calls back. I press another button, letting them into the lobby.

I need to make more food.

Quickly taking out my frozen dumplings I stocked up for emergency dinners for days I couldn't be bothered to make anything better, I whip up a quick sauce, thinking I could split the fish and put it in the middle of the table so everyone can take their share.

"I do apologise darling, I let my Kenma know that I came to visit and he must have told the boys. I think they've all come to see me," Kuroo's mum confesses.

"You must be a very loved woman if they came all this way to see you. And it's no worries really, I'm always prepared for guests," I say, putting her at ease.

She beams at me as the door is banged loudly.

Kuroo mutters something about “rude assholes'' as he goes to open the door, a group of tall men making their way through the threshold.

"Hiya cap'ain," the mohawk guy says, patting Kuroo on the back. A tall, light brown haired man was next to greet him, then proceeded to exclaim "MUMMA KOZUME!!" and practically jumped onto the poor woman.

Wait, did he just say Kozume? Isn't Kenma's surname Kozume?

"Hey mum," Kenma greets, kneeling down to hug Kuroo's mum.

Who's mum is this lady?! I swear to god I'm going to go crazy.

"Hello hello everyone," A massive grey haired guy says, kissing Kuroo's mum on the cheek and hugging Kuroo.

The last guy to greet them is a tan guy with a buzz cut, and he does the same as his friend before.

"So Kuroo, when di'ja get yourself a girl, huh?" The grey haired guy asks, looking offended that he didn't know before now.

I raise my eyebrows as Kuroo just smiles guiltily. He introduces me to his friends and I wave hello, as they all begin to introduce themselves.

The grey haired guy says his name is Lev and that he's half Russian. A weird detail to include but interesting I guess.

The light brown haired man introduces himself as Yaku, and says that he was Kuroo's senpai back in high school.

"Yeah a demon senpai," Kuroo mutters in reply. My smile quickly turns into a grimace as Yaku jumps on him and they both start brawling on the floor, making a loud ruckus. A loud thumping can be heard from downstairs as Mrs. Suzuki starts to lose her mind and continues to bang the handle of her broom to her ceiling.

"Ugh, you morons upset Mrs. Suzuki! She's going to talk my ear off next time I see her..." I complain, grabbing a cushion and throwing it at the boys.

They flinch at my anger and quickly get up, muttering a quick apology. My glare softens as mohawk introduces himself as Yamamoto, and the tan guy says his name is Kai whilst vigorously shaking my hand.

"It's very nice meeting all of you. Dinner will be ready in a bit so please just make yourselves comfortable," I announce, making my way back into the kitchen.

The boys, all sporting grins, make their way to the living room and sit on the couches, man-spreading and slouching all over the place, one person taking up the usual spot for two.

I sigh, focusing on the dumplings in front of me.

I stiffen as I feel large hands on my waist, and a presence behind me. Visibly relaxing once I realise it's Kuroo, I turn around, his hands still resting on my hips, and his face nestled in the crook of my neck.

"Please just go along with it. We have to act like a couple if they're going to believe us," he mutters, his hot breath causing shivers to run up my spine.

I simply nod, instinctively placing my arms around his neck and running my fingers through his hair, something I've wanted to do since that day.

He groans into my neck, and I find myself holding my breath as I continue my hand movements.

"OI LOVEBIRDS! MUM SAYS THE DUMPLINGS ARE GONNA FUCKIN' STICK! Ow! Oh, sorry," I snatched my hands back from Kuroo, pushing his chest, my cheeks flushing in embarrassment.

What the fuck am I doing?!

I turn around back to the stove, mixing the dumplings in the boiling water as my thoughts race.

That felt too real, too much like a real relationship.

And way too addicting, apparently, since I already miss his close proximity.

The warmth on my waist disappears as I hear Kuroo running back into the living room.

"SHUT UP YOU MORON, THE DUMPLINGS ARE FINE!" I hear him scream, and then a loud thud as he presumably tackles whoever yelled at us to the ground.

I sigh as I hear Mrs. Suzuki's muffled thuds from downstairs in record time.

"You know I'm going to have to make Mrs. Suzuki some kind of apology cake because you boys can't sit down and act like adults," I complained, my arms crossed and an unimpressed expression on my face.

Lev and Yamamoto are on the floor playing some kind of Connect 4 game I've never seen before, while Kai looks to be having a deep conversation with Kuroo's mum, who is perched on the single arm chair like the queen she is.

Kenma is hogging the tv playing some kind of video game on Kuroo's ps5 (which I've hogged on more than one occasion), and Kuroo on the other hand has Yaku in a headlock.

He immediately lets go and apologises, and so does Yaku, who even bows in his regret.

I roll my eyes and shake my head at his mum, who just laughs, and I make my way back into the kitchen, setting food on the table and calling them in to eat.

After dinner, I find myself showered in compliments and not a bite of dinner leftover for tomorrow's lunch. Damn I'm good.

I served up cake I had already prepared from earlier along with fruits I washed and set on plates, and watched as that was eaten and finished before I even sat down. Kuroo's mum scolded the boys for poor manners, and they all apologised. Well, all except Kuroo, who just wiggled his pierced brows and winked at me.

I sit down on the floor next to the couch, since it was all occupied, and hear a dissatisfied sound coming from Kuroo's mum.

"Now, now, sweetheart. You don't have to be shy around me, just go on and take your usual seat next to Tetsuro," she says, nudging her head in Kuroo's direction, where the only vacant spot was literally his lap.

I look at her with wide eyes, even Kuroo seems taken aback by her suggestion, and all the boys are immaturely ‘oohing’ loudly as they laugh and make fun of us.

Kuroo makes a gesture for me to come next to him, so I hold back my heavy sigh, try my best to hide the flush on my face, and walk towards him, awkwardly perching on his knee.

He chuckles as he grabs my waist and pulls me flush towards his chest, my butt in the corner of the couch and my legs resting diagonally over his, so that my head is directly in the crook of his neck.

I hate to say it, but this is actually really damn comfortable.

Conversation has started up again, but it becomes secondary to the beat of his heart right under my ear, and my eyes start to get heavy as his scent and warmth lull me to a comfort that is beyond being awake and alert.

---

Kuroo's POV

"What a cute girl she is, Tetsu. I'm so glad you've found her. And now that you've got her, you better. Not. Let. Go." She says, slapping me on the arm with each word of her last sentence.

What is it with women and slapping me?

"Ok, ok, I know mum, I won't stuff this up. I promise," I respond, smiling at her.

"Ok, well, I'm staying over at Kenma's house. Ah, no objections. You've already got your hands full, and I don't want to be in the way of young love. Plus, I'd rather listen to Kenma's midnight streams than you two in the middle of the night," she says, not accepting my objections and giving me a knowing look. My face warms to what she's insinuating, and I mutter a quick, "it's not like that," as I duck my head into Y/n's shoulder.

By this time the boys have all left, Kenma's downstairs waiting in his car for his mum to come, but she insisted on staying back for a few minutes to talk to me.

Y/n fell asleep a while ago now, still nestled on my lap, her head on my shoulder and her figure keeping me warm.

"I know exactly how it is, my darling. I've seen how you two act, pretending to be in a relationship just so we don't ask any uncomfortable questions. I won't meddle in your life, I never did, Tetsuro. But I will give you advice I expect you to consider. Don't let her go. Neither of you were pretending about your feelings towards each other, let me tell you that much." She says, knowingly looking at me.

I look up in alarm, which quickly morphs into a nervous laugh. She's good, I'll give her that much.

But, can Y/n really mirror my feelings?

"Ok darling, better not leave Kenma waiting any longer. I'll visit again tomorrow, or you can come over to Kenma's, whichever you prefer as long as she comes along too. I want to get to know my future daughter-in-law better!!"

With that, the woman who took me in and treated me like her own left my home.

I look down at my roommate, taking in the way her lashes are long enough to brush against her face, the way her brows are just a tad bit asymmetrical, the stroke of her nose and the bend of her cupid's bow.

I can't help but bring my hand up to caress the side of her face, content to stay here forever.

Mum would've loved her.

This thought broke the dam that held back my tears since middle school, and as they fell down my face I couldn't help but think of my own mother, coming in and hugging her, making her famous pie that I can't remember the taste of anymore. A sob racks my figure and I all of a sudden find a pair of e/c eyes staring up at me, my tears having dampened some parts of her face.

Wordlessly, she straightens herself and wraps her arms around my neck, running her fingers through the back of my head, stroking down towards my nape and up again. I cry into her shoulder, tears that I've bottled up, emotions I've ignored because I've had my dad, my grandparents and the Kozume's. Later, I even had the team, and they all followed me to the racing gig, a place where I can express my emotions through the reckless driving that could claim my life any second. I should have been grateful. Instead, the pain of her absence never ceased.

I clutch the back of her sweatshirt as I cry and cry and cry, eventually tiring myself out and running out of tears.

With dry sobs still racking my body every few minutes, she finally leans back, cupping my face in her gentle hands.

"What's the matter, Kuroo?" She whispers, looking up at me with tears shining in her own eyes. "You can tell me anything, or you can say nothing at all. Either way, I'm here for you. I'll always be here for you," she says, touching her forehead to mine and closing her eyes. She stays here for a moment before moving to get up and drag me up too.

"Come on, let's get you into your pjs and into bed. It's getting late."

---

Your POV

Now in his usual shorts and singlet, I drag him to his massive bed, opening the neatly made bed and gently sit him down.

His hazel eyes follow me as I go to close the curtains, his lashes still wet from the countless tears he shed, his body still hiccupping with dry sobs.

Once I've put his blankets around him, I go to leave, muttering a goodnight as I leave.

"Y/n," I hear before I close the door. I peek my head in, "please stay."

Without a pause to think about his request, and already in my own pyjamas, I go next to him and crawl into his open arm as if I've been doing it every night, snuggling into his shoulder once more and wrapping my arm around his chest.

After a few moments of silence, he begins to speak in a raspy tone, "she's not my real mum. She's Kenma's mum, and I've... I've called her mum since I was around 7," he takes a deep breath before continuing. "I moved in with my dad and grandparents next door to the Kozumes when I was 6. I was nervous and shy back then. You wouldn't even recognise me because of the 180 turn my personality's taken. Kenma was even more social than I was. He was my first friend, and when I got him into volleyball and we met Coach Nekomata. That man inspired me to be the man I am today, and was the main reason why I joined the volleyball team in high school, and made friends with the guys. He did what my mum should've, supported me and gave me the confidence to live my life," he says, his voice cracking with the last word. I hug him tighter, knowing not to say anything as of yet.

"I just wish... I wish she didn't go. I wish she could've met you, Y/n. She would've loved you even more than Kenma's mum does," he confesses with a chuckle, sniffling and turning towards me to look me in the eyes.

"She would've seen the way I was around you. The different man I become. You make me a better person, Y/n. I find myself wanting to be better for you. I could never thank you enough for that. Please, never leave. Just stay with me, and I'll always be here for you," he says, repeating the same words I said to him earlier.

I can't help the smile from taking over my features and I lean in to kiss his nose, his eyes, his cheeks and finally I press my lips against his, something I have been wanting to do for a very long time.

"I will, Kuroo Tetsuro. I'll always stay with you."

A/n: So, I don't actually know if his mum passed away or if she left them, so I kind of just,, did both ?

Taglist: @3daa & @itsgiorgiaz

Notes, interactions and reblogs are highly appreciated <3

#racer!kuroo #haikyuu x reader #haikyufics #kuroo tetsuro scenarios #haikyuu!!#haikyu imagines #kuroo x you #kuroo tetsuro x you #kuroo tetsurou #haikyu angst #haikyuu drabbles #haikyu x reader #haikyuu fanfiction #haikyuu au #kuroo angst #kuroo comfort #kuroo fluff #kuroo au

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hotdamnhunnam · 4 years ago

Text

Meet the Fuck-Ups

A/N: Here’s the winning fic from this poll that I posted for what to write next! In which you’re Jax Teller’s girlfriend, and it’s your first time meeting his parents... cue family drama followed by Jax making up for the trauma by treating you to especially epic sex ✨

Pairing: Jax Teller x F!Reader Warnings: smut, swearing, dirty talk (all in Part 2) – Part 1 is just the Teller-Morrow clan fucking around and being a traumatically chaotic bunch of clowns 🤡 Request: This anon request + follow-up + character pref poll

Word Count: ~3.1k

“Jackson.”

The prince of Charming stops mid-walk, blonde hair flipping around his head in sudden shock, as the queen mother unexpectedly attacks him.

He was just caught off guard, as he’d been mesmerized watching you from across the yard. Admiring from afar. Whenever you’re at an event where Jax’s folks are in attendance, you make sure to keep your distance, so as not to stir suspicions. He’s determined to protect his girlfriend from his toxic parents; it’s a secret love affair between you two. But he can’t get over just how gorgeous you are, at the far end of the backyard, gracefully grilling burgers at this big neighborhood barbecue...

And Gemma notices that he’s loving the view. “You’re fucking her, aren’t you.”

“What?” Jax huffs, pulling back to escape from her manicured hands on his kutte. “I—ugh...”

“Jesus Christ,” Gemma melodramatically sighs, seeing straight through the secrets and lies. “You’re not just hitting that. You’re dating, and you’ve got it bad. I knew it.”

“No, you don’t know shit—”

“She’s got you all giddy and googly-eyed. Now you go tell her she’s invited to dinner tonight.”

The poor guy looks like he just literally died. “But Mom, I...”

“Don’t you roll your eyes at me,” Gem snaps; she won’t take any crap. “What, are you worried it’ll go badly? You embarrassed of your family?”

Those blue eyes blink sarcastically. “Ya think?”

“Shit only happens when we drink.”

“Yeah, which is 24/7. Mom, I’m not even...”

But they both know the prince’s desperate protests won’t go over well. The queen has one last thing to tell. “Now go invite your girl to dinner, Jax, or I’ll do it myself. And spend the rest of my life making hers a living hell.”

Jax doesn’t doubt it, and he’s quite honestly terrified about it. “God, you’re so fucked up...”

“Apple, tree, and all that crap,” she deals his golden-stubbled face a playful slap. “You know you’re just as fucked as me. It’s time to see how well she fits in with our fucked up little family.”

***************

At the doorstep of his own childhood home... the badass biker known as Jax Teller—the fiercest and most fearless man you’ve known, ever—looks scared out of his wits. He tries to channel all his nerves onto his mother’s creepy garden gnomes. “Seriously, Y/N, this one is smiling like he secretly just murdered someone. Psycho piece of shit.”

“Hmm, I sense some deep-seated resentment here...” you tease him, softly squeezing at his arm to calm his fear. “Did this little bastard traumatize you as a kid? What is it, was he Mama Teller’s favorite?”

Sticking out his tongue, Jax rolls his beautiful blue eyes with a big sigh and plays along. “Yeah, kills me just to hear you say it...”

Leaning up to kiss his cheek, you guide him up the front steps as his knees start going weak. He is legitimately scared as hell. “Well, for what it’s worth you’re my favorite, and Mr. Gnome ain’t shit.”

“Thanks, darlin’,” Jax tilts his head to kiss the top of yours, slowing down as you near the front door; you can tell that he’s stalling. “Better not say that to my mom. She cut the last girlfriend I brought home who said shit about the garden gnomes.”

“Oh, God,” you mutter—whether that’s a joke or not... you’re honestly not sure. You’ve heard a lot about the infamous queen mother. “From what you’ve said of her, she’ll probably cut me if these roses are the wrong color...”

Jax beams down at the pretty pink bouquet you’ve brought for Mrs. Teller. You had hoped that this soft pleasant shade would be subtle and safe. “She’s a bad bitch for sure, but she’s got a big soft spot for flowers,” he reassures. “They’re perfect, babe. Just like you are.”

Although you know it’s far from true, you sure feel perfect when your boyfriend looks at you like you’re a shooting star. “Will your parents think so too?”

“Of course,” he coos, as you two finally step up to the front door. “Just look at you. What’s not to love?”

A lot, but Jax seems to think not. Reaching up to brush a random speck of dust off of his kutte, you murmur to him quietly, voice low and soft, in hopes of easing his anxiety. “...Then what’re you so scared of?”

He answers as if it were obvious. “That finally meeting my fucked up family will scare you off.”

“Oh c’mon, you think I scare that easy? Really?” with your free hand, you punch him gently in his broad muscular chest with a resentful huff. “Jax, you should know by now I’m big and strong and tough.”

Before your tall blonde boyfriend can respond... the front door suddenly swings open. That is not what Jax was hoping. Curses himself in this moment, as he knows he should’ve grown a pair and knocked before this happened.

But he hadn’t.

And now the proud lioness of Charming... has just pounced on your ass without warning.

Well, this is gonna be fun. Gemma is glaring daggers at you before the night’s even begun. “Beg your fucking pardon, but did someone just punch my son?”

“Mom, don’t...” your man groans, mortified to the bone.

You raise your hand up quickly, smiling innocently while admitting what you’ve done. “Guilty. Hope you’ll please forgive me?”

Gemma studies you up and down, shadowed brown eyes scoping out every weakness and flaw to be found. She’s a critical bitch when it comes to her baby boy’s girlfriends. “That depends. Was it your bright idea to keep this little fling a secret from his parents?”

Right about now Jax wishes he could disappear inside his kutte. “Mom, can you not—”

“Well, we make all of our big decisions together,” you candidly tell her. “But no, the idea wasn’t mine. I’ve been wanting to meet you and Mr. Morrow for a really long time.”

“So you’re laying the blame on my son, then.”

Your man is caught somewhere between cringing and fuming and looks like he seriously wants to punch this woman. Never mind that she’s his own mom, in her own home. He clearly wishes that you two had never come. “She’s not trying to blame anyone...”

“I’m pretty sure this little pistol can speak for herself,” Gemma cuts him off, bossy and gruff, cold as hell. Jax had described her like the evil witch out of a charming fairytale, and his description lines up well. “But whatever, I’m done. I’ve got some poison apples cooking in the oven. Extra poison. Come on in.”

She steps aside, and you put on a brave face as you nervously accept the open invite. Jax keeps one of his hands pressed against your lower back, a silent promise that he’ll jump to your defense in case the lioness attacks.

Once you’re inside, the queen proceeds as if these are your first words of the night. Extends her hand in introduction. Polite and forthright. Acting as if she had never accused you of laying a punch and a bucket of blame on her one precious son.

“Gemma Teller,” she proclaims, as if you’re not familiar with her matriarchal fame. “It’s a real pleasure. You must be Y/N.”

Jax blinks and steps in front of you all of a sudden. He had never mentioned your name; hearing it now awakens his instincts of protection. “Since when—”

“Calm the hell down,” his mother replies with a roll of her eyes. “I asked around. This little lady has a reputation in this town. Apparently I’m not the only one who figured out that you two are together.”

You hear a voice then from the next room, interrupting in a raspy boom. “Now did I just hear my woman introduce herself as Gemma Fucking Teller?”

The man of the house appears out of the hallway, joining the three of you in the foyer, with a half-empty bottle of beer in his hand. Gemma brushes away his theatrical alpha male anger. “My old man. Swears like a sailor.”

“You bring that shit out of me every damn day,” he tells her, extending his free hand to make your acquaintance. He’s clearly not sorry about the foul language. “Clay. And this is my wife Gemma Teller-Morrow.”

Gemma grabs the beer out of his grip, takes a sip. “If you say so,” she quips. “This old bastard is the President of SAMCRO, and a total fucking scumbag just in case you didn’t know.”

Oh, you knew it—Jax has filled you in on all the Sons’ business. You’re far from clueless.

But Clay doesn’t know that you’ve got all the dirt. “Whatever shady shit you’ve heard... don’t listen to a word. I’m a mechanic and a motorcycle enthusiast.”

“Of course,” you answer with a smile, well aware of Jax squirming uncomfortably beside you all the while. “It’s really nice to meet you two. I’ve heard so much about you.”

Clay is checking you out more than you would like. His sunken eyes survey your figure as if you’re some kind of bike, shiny and new. “Wish we could say the same. Jax keeping you a secret from his family is a crying shame.”

Your man cuts in then, all of a sudden. He’s sick of the blame game, and shifts his position to block you from his stepdad’s unwelcome view. “Alright, can you guys please just thank her for the flowers? Then let’s sit and grab a bite. We’re only staying for an hour.”

Gemma shoots her son a look of spite—planning to keep him here all night—but graciously accepts the roses. “Thanks, doll, these are gorgeous.”

Her husband mumbles underneath his breath, as if he thinks you’re fucking deaf. “Yeah, she really is.”

At that, Jackson erupts, pulling him furiously to the side. “You better fucking stop...”

The queen is taking it in stride. She’s used to Clay’s wandering eyes and doesn’t even care to listen. Beckons you into the kitchen, giving the men a few seconds to fight.

Gemma checks on the food in the oven and pours you a drink over frivolous chit chat. Small talk feels a lot safer than real talk with her, so if this is the course of the rest of the dinner, you’re quite fine with that.

She compliments your dress, which you had taken care to make sure wouldn’t come off as classless—you wanted to look casually elegant, dressed to impress, yet innocent and modest. When you had decided on it, Jax had joked that you look like a virtuous virginal goddess. Which is a big joke to be honest, given that you’re fucking addicted to taking his huge cock and giving him long filthy blowjobs...

“So you seem nice enough,” Gem interrupts your wayward thoughts. “Guess you’re all pink roses and butterflies and gumdrops?”

She has absolutely zero need to know the facts: that when it comes to Jax, you’re nothing but a dirty little slut. You keep your inner whore mouth shut, batting your eyes theatrically. “Yup—that’s just me. Ain’t nothing else to see.”

“Oh, and you’re sassy,” she laughs as she leads you into the dining room and gestures at your seat, now that the food’s almost ready to eat. Sets the bouquet down on the table as a centerpiece. “Sass and savagery are the key to surviving this family.”

The boys finally arrive, now that Jax is done verbally skinning his stepdad alive. Badly. In the heat of the argument, he had abandoned his kutte and is now wearing only his heather grey hoodie, which makes him look like such a soft cuddly cutie. But nothing about him is goody-goody; he’d made it clear that he will literally pull his gun if Clay dares to refer to his girl as a ‘hot piece of pussy.’

Jax just hopes and prays that Clay will keep it classy. When the old man starts getting tipsy—as he is tonight already, obviously—his remarks inevitably get a little nasty.

“Here I thought dinner would be served,” Clay grumbles, as he sits himself at the head of the table. He’s half-joking with his next words, but just half—there’s a bona fide dickbag behind that big laugh. “Shit’s still in the oven? Get back in the kitchen and do your job, woman!”

Gemma flips him the finger but doesn’t linger. Stows her lioness ego and goes to fetch dinner—she picks her battles, with this chauvinist asshole. When it really matters the queen will make damn sure she comes out the winner.

You motion to stand up and offer to help. But Gemma stubbornly insists that you should sit as she can handle it perfectly well herself.

The next minute or so is spent in awkward silence. Clay grabs another brew, and forces himself not to even look at you; the air is thick and tense. You clasp your boyfriend’s hand under the table so he won’t resort to violence.

When Gemma comes back to the dining room with heaps of food in hand, you notice that she’s taken off her slick black leather jacket, revealing a white floral blouse underneath it instead. You notice the side-eye she shoots at her man. Clay’s recent comments must’ve gotten somewhat into her head, got her feeling indignant and heated. She keeps a stone cold face, but you can see the fragile little girl behind her gaze—her heart is twisted, dark and fifty shades of fucked, but it’s an open book, for anyone who takes a good hard look. For anyone who cares to read it.

And somehow, having met the lioness who raised the man you love... you understand him better than you ever have, till now. Vow to yourself that you’ll spend the rest of your life giving him all the love he’s ever needed.

In any event, dinner is finally served and it’s time to eat it.

After a fair bit of small talk, Gemma has had a bit too much to drink and then suddenly brings up the subject of... well, Jax’s cock. “So tell me—what’d you fall in love with? His big heart or his big dick?”

You blink, then blurt out something without bothering to think. “Who says his heart is big?”

Clay bursts out into good-humored laughter at your unexpected answer. “Hah, I dig this chick,” he hollers.

Jax impulsively picks up a steak knife; his stepdad should honestly fear for his life. “Don’t you call her—”

Raising a hand to firmly press against his chest, you hold him back. “It’s fine, Jax; really, I don’t mind. ‘Chick’ isn’t even negative. Don’t get all oversensitive. It’s fine.”

He takes a seat, but still he seethes, growling through gritted teeth. “You on their side or mine?”

You shrug. Playing it cool so you can be his rock, though truly everything about this evening has you shook as fuck. “Just fitting in behind enemy lines.”

Jax releases a deep sigh, still breathing heavily. “Fine. As long as you know who’s the enemy.”

Clay shakes his head, snickering as he tears a crust of bread. “Enemy? C’mon, son, that’s no way to talk about your perfect white-picket-fence family...”

Everyone at this table knows full well that if the Teller-Morrows had a fence, it would be inked in black and stained in bloody red—permanently—from all the deadly crimes that SAMCRO has committed. Sure as hell wouldn’t be white.

The mood just got a little bit too heavy; tipsy Gemma tries to make it light. “Enemy’s probably right. It’s a damn war in this house every night. What fun is life without a little fight?”

She winks at you across the table. Just a friendly little gesture, girl to girl. And though she’s mentally incredibly unstable... that’s the first time this whole night that you’ve felt comfortable. That little gesture really means the world.

So long as you can count the queen among your friends, you’re on the right side of the Teller-Morrows’ bloody picket fence.

As dinner continues, the conversation takes a turn toward innocuous bullshit like weather and uneventful local news. Thankfully then the air in the room gets a little less tense.

... That is until Clay sets an ominous tone again, scowling across the table at his stepson. “Jackson. Lemme ask you a serious question.”

Jax is currently chewing a big piece of meat up. He stops; his face drops.

As you tremble in worry, the man of the house carries on with his critical inquiry. “You, uh... mind passing me some of that corn on the cob?”

Oh, that was savage. You can feel the blood return to Jax’s veins, heart picking up its beat again, as your tough guy boyfriend heaves a sigh of relief and pretends that he wasn’t just punked like a pussy-ass bitch. Tries to brush off the dumb prank with swagger and style.

“Now there’s that smile. Haven’t seen it in a while,” the queen mother gladly reacts, raising her cup. There’s nothing in the world that makes her happier than happy Jax. It’s all she ever really wants. And she’s proud of her husband, for once. “You got the kid to lighten up. Good job.”

“Yeah, I ain’t all bad,” Clay laughs, giving the room a rare glimpse of the zero-point-two percent goodness in him. “Now do I get some sugar for that?”

He puckers his lips, taps his pointer finger against them to request a quick kiss.

Gem pretends to resist, but in her twisted fashion she loves the man more than she cares to admit.

Of course he loves her, too. On some level even the most fucked up love built upon a whole lifetime of secrets and lies can be true. “I love you, babe,” he tells her as she pulls away, though she already knew.

And at that, Jax is happy. As fucked up as these sick twisted psychos may be, they’re his family. The love that they share is a sweet thing to see. And he’s fucked up too, obviously—the apple really doesn’t fall far from the tree.

The only person he loves more than them is you. And the way you’ve so bravely and gracefully handled his parents... honestly made him fall in love with his girlfriend all over again. Jax already can’t wait to get back to his place after dinner, and show you just how big his heart and his dick are. Remind you of all of the mind-blowing things that his big dick can do.

Now that you’ve survived meeting his fucked up family... finally... he can spend the rest of the night, and the rest of his whole damn life, loving you madly. And fucking you up, just the way you both love. Badly.

***************

... Continued in Part 2!

Hope you enjoyed this, and would love to hear if you did! 🤗❤️

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smoothpapertowels · 2 years ago

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my stranger things vol. 2 reactions

just thought it would be fun. i’m watching alone so i have to talk to SOMEONE about these emotions.

Episode 8: Papa

- disappointed robin didn’t come thru with the tidbit where she sees nancy’s tapes in her room and saves her from vecna with them (but my fic has that ;))

- eddies music line was hilarious

- enzo was hot asf

- poor joyce having funerals for both her boy and her love. at least they’re both not dead.

- “she missed her dad” waaaah

- the demogorgon absolutely clearing the floors of the prison was hilarious and sick

- how did the open heart surgery demogorgon die from one bullet

- the russian demogorgon lab reveal was GOOD

- eleven lifting up the tank was satisfying

- will just wants to play dnd with mike for the rest of his life.

- will is such a good friend. he’s a good LISTENER

- mike :((

- TENDER EMOTIONAL MUSIC

- OMG THE DRAWING

- are you kidding me. are you fucking kidding me. i’m crying

- WILL IS SO IN LOVE WIYH MIKE. THE GODDAMN HEART. HOLY FUCK

- omg mike is realizing

- NO DONT CRY WILL BABY. gay is different and OK

- noah u are so good at what u do

- OH MY GOD DONT CRY WILL BABY NOOO my little gay heart

- he’s such a good friend. he is helping mike with his relationship even tho he wants to be with him. like wow.

- “i’m not gonna lie to you eleven” bs.

- pls do true owens. not ominous at all

- nancy leaving out her dad…does she not…love him?

- THE SUSPENSE

- what bad skin robin??

- max. ur gonna die

- max bby ur so brave omg

- she’s preparing herself to die and it hurts so bad

- hop is free :)

- EDDIES TIME TO SHINE

- RED. max is now red.

- HELP THE MASK

- eddie motorcycle perchance?

- oh. eddie rv. slightly less cool but funnier

- eddie is abt to CRACK i swear

- BIG BOY?? BIG BOY?? HOLY SHIT

- steve’s bare foot💀

- Team Owens yass!

- steve wants a family😭it’s his babysitting gene

- omg if maxs memory is lucas-

- boy is BRAVE

- PRESUMPTUOUS😭😭

- stop lumax is supreme

- kate bush is also supreme

- is yuri Okay

- VICKIEEE!!

- vickie :((

- amybeth is the loml

- nancy pls beat up jason rn.

- jason is off his rocker!!!

- small woman.

- luv u argyle

- oh sam u are dust. wait who are these dickheads??

- BRENNER U ASSHOLE

- YAS ELEVEN SHE IS THE MOMENT

- she is such a slay rn. open that door girl.

- HOLY SHIT

- YOU MOTHERFUCKER

- KILL HIM GIRL

- GET HIM

- oh this is not good

- eddie! little shield boy!!

- omg eddie’s such a nerd.

- AW DUSTIN. so cute

- aw omg eddie munson heart of gold.

- erica is such a bad bitch

- AW SUPPORTIVE ERICA

- everything is so wholesome for a bit.

- steve trying to comfort robin :(

- not everything has a happy ending. i will cry

- SHE LOOKED OVER AT NANCY??

- robin. robin shut up. no. it will work out.

- they’re just kids man :(

- if robin or steve die i will kms

- tbh i totally forgot that military storyline was happening

- i hate the military btw :)

- california crew to the rescue!!

- YES GIRL CRASH THAT COPTER

- she is such a badass

- that was so cool

- millie has fallen to her knees so many times. get this girl some knee pads.

- she doesn’t even pass out after that? my girl gettin STRONG!

- will in the background of mileven i- (kinda have to laugh)

- will and el :’)

- a speck of redemption for brenner??

- kinda sad that she’s his family but like…why would you treat ur family like that🤨

- stop the music- the mike music :(

- oh shit. el is her OWN! PERSON!!

- GOODBYE PAPA INDEED!!!!

- i heart u and ur music kyle dixon

- who IS gonna die el??

- SEPARATE WAYS YEAHHHHH THIS IS SO GOOD

- also have y’all seen the spotify playlist it looks so cool

- THATS THE END OF THAT ONE??

- i’m so scared for the next one. here we go folks.

#stranger things vol 2 spoilers #stranger things #stranger things spoilers #stranger things season 4 spoilers #strangerthings4

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gallavictorious · 3 years ago

Text

Gallavich Week Day 2: Fantasy AU

Summary: Prince Ian is offered up as a sacrifice to appease one of the dragons that haunt his father’s kingdom. Rather than being burned alive or eaten he is inexplicably left to wander the dragon’s lair in peace, as long as he never tries to leave and never enters the mysterious tower chamber. Then he meets fellow prisoner Mikhailo and starts to wonder if maybe this whole sacrificial gig isn’t such a bad deal after all.

Or, Ian Gallagher tells a bedtime story, and Mickey Milkovich is himself.

Fair Warning 1: There’s some Mickey-typical homophobic language in this one.

Fair Warning 2: I wrote all ridiculous 5K of this today (work? what work?) and it’s a little bit of a curious mess. Like, the sort of curious mess you get if you take Lip’s Hall of Shame, @gardenerian’s lovely bedtime stories, the novel “Dealing with Dragons” by Patricia Wrede, the Swedish picture book “Bröllop i Marsipanien” by Lena Karlin, the Greek myth of Andromeda, a bunch of folk tales about shapeshifting lovers, and the questionable old practice of MSTing fics, and then you stuff them all into a Kee and shake her around for a bit and then you pour it out into the shape of a 12 hour long and highly inadvisable speedwriting session.

Read it at your own risk, below or on AO3.

Very Important Note: I make fun of fic writing in this fic. Please note that I’m only making fun of myself and general tropes; any and all allusions to actual fic in the fandom is entirely coincidental.

---

Lest They Say, Here Be Dragons

Hush now, child; settle down. Close your eyes – yes, just like that – and listen:

Once upon a time and elsewhere, there was a kingdom. The people there were no happier than people anywhere else, and poorer than most, but they made do and lived and danced and grieved and died as people have always done.

Jesus, that’s gay.

That is, until the dragons came.

Okay, now you’re talking.

Like a plague they swept the land, winged beasts with fire for breath and ice in their hearts. Every night the fields burned, and the villages burned, and the cattle burned and was eaten. Many a brave people took up arms and went to confront the monsters, and then they burned too.

Heart-broken and terrified, the people went to the king to plead for aid. “Send an emissary to the dragons,” they said. “Reason with them and strike a bargain, or else we are sure to perish.”

What a bunch of pussies. What they should do is, they should use a bunch a cow shit to build a bomb and nuke the hell out of those dragons. Problem fucking solved.

Now, this king was a scoundrel and a drunk and the queen had an unfortunate habit of turning herself into a bird and flying off to more interesting lands whenever the mood took her. They had six children but rarely paid them any mind and fair Princess Fiona, eldest of the six, was left to raise her younger siblings as best she could. False King Francis would have been perfectly content to turn his desperate subjects away if it weren’t for the fact the dragons unchecked rampage threatened the production of the spirits the king so enjoyed. So, donning a mask of compassionate concern, for he was a skilled liar, he promised the people that he would help them. But as soon as they had left, comforted, he turned the task over to his children.

The second oldest child, foxy Prince Philip—

Foxy Prince Philip?

Yeah, you know. Foxy. Like clever.

Why not just say clever then?

‘Cause it’s not alliterative.

Alliter—

Starts with the same sound. Foxy – Philip. Fair – Fiona.

Oh, I get it. Like, Ian – idiot. Ow!

Foxy Prince Philip was known far and wide for being the cleverest in all the land, and by using all his cunning he managed to strike a deal with the leader of the dragons.

“By using all his cunning.” Skimming over the details a bit there, huh?

You really want me to turn this into a Prince Philip story? Hear me go on and on about what a genius he is?

…

Yeah, that’s what I thought.

It was agreed that the dragons would spread out over the kingdom, each one building their own place to live near a village, and that the villagers would bring them food and drink. In turn, the dragons would refrain from casual pyromancy and protect the villagers from harm.

Protection racket, huh. Classic. Starting to like these dragons, man.

In addition, the cruel leader of the dragons demanded that each dragon be offered a child of the land in sacrifice. No matter how Prince Philip bargained he could not change the dragon’s cold heart on this—

Guess he wasn’t so clever after all.

—and so, with heavy hearts and much lamenting, each village drew lots to determine which poor child would be sent as an offering to their new resident dragon. However, in the village nearest to the castle the people grew angry when the beloved blacksmith’s only child, a small girl of just four, was selected, and they went to the king and they said:

“It isn’t fair that some people are asked to give up their only child to appease the dragons while you, who have six children, are exempt from the lottery.”

King Francis, fearing an uprising as much as he feared the dragons (since each was as likely as the other to leave him without a drink), quickly nodded.

“That’s true,” he said. “And fairness must ever be the true monarchs first and most important concern. Though it breaks my heart, I can’t in good conscience watch my people sacrifice their own children without offering up my own. You may take Prince Ian and give him to the dragon.”

At this, the other princes and princesses raised their voices in furious protest, for they loved their brother even if their father did not. But industrious Prince Ian—

Industrious? That really the best you can come up with?

—stepped forward and declared that he’d be happy to give up his life, so that the child of the blacksmith might be spared. And so, as the sunt set, he was taken away to the lair of the dragon that had made its home near the castle.

So let me get this straight… The king is happy to toss Prince Ian to the wolves ‘cause he hates him, and his siblings are all sad and shit but they still let him go off to get fucking eaten by dragons?

Yes.

Uh-huh.

What?

…

Oh, fuck you. It’s just a story.

Totally.

Stepping into the lair, with heart a-hammering but on stubbornly steady legs, Prince Ian set eyes upon the beast that was to be his destiny. He was momentarily relieved to see it was not the terrible leader of the dragons, as he had feared, but a smaller monster he did not recognize. Black was its hide, its eyes a cold sparkling blue—

Gallagher, I swear to god, if you turn me into some lame ass henchman dragon—

Keep interrupting, asshole, and it’ll be a pink fucking unicorn. And hang on, you’ll show up in a little bit.

Setting his jaw, Prince Ian prepared to die a heroic death—

‘Course he did, the stupid motherfucker. Hey, if Prince Philip was so fucking smart, and if he gave a shit about his brother, shouldn’t he have given him, I dunno, a knife or something?

Prince Ian prepared to die a heroic death, because unlike some other people he was not a selfish prick and he actually cared about the people of the kingdom, but much to his surprise the dragon did not burn him. Instead, it just stared at him for a good long while, until suddenly it declared:

“You must never leave the lair, and you must never set foot inside the tower chamber. Abide by these rules and you may live. Break these rules and I’ll rip your heart out and eat it while you watch, and then I’ll burn the castle down with your beloved siblings inside.”

You tell him, dragon.

With that the dragon took flight and disappeared, leaving Prince Ian to stand alone in the great hall of the lair, confused but alive. The young prince remained where he was for a few minutes, thinking that the dragon might come back, but when it did not he set out to explore his new home. It was big, with endless rooms and nooks and crannies, but it was badly kept, with strange bits and pieces cluttering up the hallways and chambers. Prince Ian found some old blankets and he used those to set up a pallet in one of the nicer rooms, one that had a view over a small, overgrown garden. And then, because it was very late and he was not dead, he went to sleep.

The next day he continued his explorations and managed to find the kitchen. It was full with the meat that the villagers brought the dragon once a month, and remembering that the beast had only forbidden him from leaving the lair and going into the tower chamber, Prince Ian helped himself to a piece of pork that he cooked over a small fire.

Hang on, was there a fridge in the kitchen?

No. This was the olden days.

But the villagers came once a month with the meat? How did the dragon keep from rotting?

That’s not really—

Was it dried? Like a Slim Jim?

… sure. It was dried.

As he was eating, Prince Ian heard a sudden scraping noise behind him.

The hell did he cook it over a fire for then, if it was dried?

He looked up and spied another young man standing in the doorway.

I’m just saying, it doesn’t make any fucking sense, man. Wait, is this me?

Prince Ian frowned. “Who are you?” he asked. “Are you a prisoner of the dragon too?”

The boy shrugged. “Uh, yeah. I guess. I mean, I do some work around here. Clean up and shit, in exchange for not getting eaten. Name’s Mikhailo.”

About fucking time. Only, how is it fair that you get to be prince and I’m a fucking cleaner?

Prince Ian tactfully did not mention how the lair was impressively dirty for a place with a fulltime cleaner but invited Mikhailo to share his meal. As they ate, Prince Ian studied his new acquaintance. He was the same age as but shorter than the prince, with skin as white as snow, lips as red as blood, and hair as black as ebony.

Hair as black as— The hell was that?

Nothing.

Yeah, okay, then why are you smiling? Eh, fuck you. Prince Ian’s fucking thirsty for Mikhailo, I get it.

Though his manner was somewhat brusque and uncouth, Prince Ian could not help but feel himself drawn to Mikhailo. The boy was funny and easy to talk to, even if he seemed reluctant to say too much about himself or where he came from. Prince Ian tried asking him about the dragon, but despite apparently having lived there ever since the dragon moved in, Mikhailo couldn’t tell him much.

“Hardly ever even see it, man. At dusk and dawn mostly, so I guess it spends the night flying around with the other dragons, terrorizing the peasants or whatever. During the day it holes up in the tower chamber. Guess dragons must sleep too, huh? Don’t fucking go up there,” he added sternly. “It ain’t fucking kidding about killing you if you do.”

Having found a friend, Prince Ian found that life at the dragon’s lair wasn’t all that bad. He missed his siblings and being outdoors and practicing with the soldiers at the castle, and he resented the loss of his freedom, but he enjoyed the peace and quiet, and enjoyed spending time with Mikhailo. However, one thing he soon grew very tired of was eating nothing but meat. The dragon didn’t seem to require anything else, for it was the only thing the villagers ever delivered, and Mikhailo – whose tasks included receiving the monthly tribute – just gave Prince Ian a weird look when Ian suggested he ask the people to bring some vegetables next month.

“That ain’t the deal they’ve got with the dragon,” he told Ian. “Ain’t nobody gonna listen to me if I go trying to change it.”

Yeah, real Prince Charming there, wanting Mikhailo to risk his life so Ian can stuff his face with fucking cucumber.

Undeterred by Mikhailo’s lack of enthusiasm and courage—

Fuck you.

—Prince Ian decided to take it up with the dragon himself. In the weeks since he arrived at the lair, he hadn’t met the creature again, not even once; he’d just heard the powerful swoosh of its wings when it came and went at dusk and dawn. Now he went up the stairs to the tower chamber and there he waited until night had fallen and he noted the scraping of claws against stone inside the room. Then he knocked at the door.

There was a long silence. Then the door slammed open with enough force to nearly undo it from its hinges.

“What are you doing here?!” the dragon roared, terrible in its fury. “I’ve told you to never come here!”

“You’ve told me to never set foot inside the room,” Ian reasoned, fighting to keep his voice calm. “And I’m not. I just wanted to ask if I may have the use of the small garden just outside the lair. I miss being outdoors and I could grow vegetables for Mikhailo and me.”

Jesus Christ, man, again with gardening? Thought you were over it.

“You may never leave the lair,” the dragon, a garden-hating meanie, snarled, and then he closed the door in Prince Ian’s face.

As he fucking should.

“Probably worried one of the villagers will spot you and, I dunno, mount a rescue,” Mikhailo said shortly the next morning when Prince Ian told him of his failed attempt. “Anyway, you’re a fucking idiot for going up there like that. You get it won’t hesitate to kill you, right?”

“Right,” Ian agreed. “But,” he added with a frown, “why hasn’t it yet?”

“You fucking complaining?” Mikhailo snapped, and then he stalked away, and Ian didn’t see him again for three days.

Listen, you get that I get that Mikhailo is the dragon, right? You’re not fooling anyone, Gallagher.

Then, one day, fed up with the dragon being a really annoying prick, Prince Ian grabbed a huge sword he conveniently found lying around in a cupboard, because the lair was a fucking pigsty, suitable for a pig like the dragon, and he went up the stairs and kicked in the door and he cut the dragon’s throat while it slept, and then he went off and found himself a nice prince to marry.

…

That’s not how the story ends.

…

Hey, where are you going? Come back- Jesus, I’m sorry, okay? Gallagher, I’m sorry. Just come back here. Tell me what really happened.

Prince Ian woke with a start on his pallet in the lair. He’d had the most vivid dream about killing the dragon—

A dream? That’s the lamest fucking— Ah, fuck. Sorry.

—but for some reason it hadn’t felt as satisfying as he had thought it would. For all that Prince Ian often fantasized about strangling the beast, it seemed he didn’t actually wish to see it dead. With that disconcerting realization in mind, Prince Ian went to break his fast, resigned to doing so on meat and yet more meat. But in the kitchen he found Mikhailo, and on the table in front of him was a pile of cabbage and carrots and onions.

“Guess the dragon must have talked to the villagers after all,” Mikhailo muttered, refusing to look at the prince. “And, uh, there was this thing I wanted to show you.”

Without waiting for a response, he spun around on his heel and walked out the door. Curious, Prince Ian followed, through doors and up and down stairs he never knew existed. Eventually, he found himself standing in what appeared to be an inner courtyard. It was small and the walls surrounding it very high, but up above the sky was blue. Prince Ian turned his face towards it and for the first time since he came to live at the dragon’s lair he felt sunlight on his face.

“It’s a shithole,” Mikhailo said. For some reason he sounded a little nervous. “But if you wanna go outside, you can come here. And there’s dirt in those bins, so I guess you could grow stuff in them? Just gotta wear this hat. Anyone sees you, they’ll just think it’s me.”

Privately, Prince Ian wondered who’d ever be able to see him behind walls that high, but he wasn’t going to argue. Wearing an ugly had was a small price to pay for being able to go outside, and to have a garden.

He gave Mikhailo a small smile; Mikhailo smiled back.

“Mikhailo smiled back.” Yeah, you bet he was laughing his ass off, ‘cause he thought Prince Ian was a huge fucking dork.

Things were good for a long while after that. Prince Ian spent his days in the garden and in Mikhailo’s company, and though he still resented being locked away from the world it was easy to ignore that when he had something to do and when his plants started to grow and when he was with Mikhailo. The two young men became closer and closer with each passing week, and soon it seemed to Prince Ian as if they had always known each other. He could no longer imagine a life without his friend.

He suspected that Mikhailo felt the same. It was there in the way he laughed at Prince Ian’s jokes; the way he sought him out to do nothing but talk; the way his gaze sometimes lingered on the prince, the look in his eyes unreadable.

Prince Ian suspected that Mikhailo too wondered what it would be like to press their lips together and hold each other tight. Sleep together; map every inch of each other’s bodies.

Hang on a minute, you’re telling me they haven’t fucked yet? The hell they’ve been doing?

I told you. Hanging out. Talking. Laughing.

Jesus Christ, that’s so fucking gay.

Two men not fucking each other is gay? Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. One day we really need to talk about all your internalized homophobia.

My interna-what? Ah, shut the fuck up. Continue with the story. All these interruptions ain’t doing much for the flow, you know.

Really? I hadn’t noticed.

Prince Ian became determined to find out if Mikhailo felt the same way as he did. He realized that he needed to be careful, however, and not push too hard, lest he spook the other boy. Even though he was almost sure he could see longing in Mikhailo’s eyes, there seemed to be some invisible hand holding him back. Every time Prince Ian was convinced they were finally getting somewhere, Mikhailo would suddenly pull back, as if stung.

Or as if remembering something. Himself, maybe.

Bu then came a cold, clear autumn day almost exactly one year after Prince Ian had been taken to the dragon’s lair.

Whoa, wait, now you’re telling me they’ve been hanging out for one fucking year and they still haven’t banged?

What can I say? Mikhailo’s a pussy.

Whatever. This story is unrealistic as fuck.

Prince Ian and Mikhailo had spent the afternoon together in the garden, as they almost always did whenever Mikhailo wasn’t busy with any of his mysterious chores (which he still refused to tell Prince Ian much about, but which sometimes took him away from the lair for days at a time). Once it started getting dark they went inside and dined on chicken and potatoes from Prince Ian’s patch, and as so often happened they started bickering and play fighting.

If that’s something that happens a lot you might have mentioned it earlier. Established it or whatever. Those mysterious chores too. What’s that all about?

Oh, my bad. Maybe I should start over? Once upon and time—

Nah, man, you’re good. Just a suggestion for next time.

Thank you.

You’re welcome.

They were chasing each other around the kitchen when Mikhailo tripped over the muddy shoes he’d lazily left there the night before and fell to the floor.

You know these meaningful little comments ain’t actually clever, right? They don’t actually add anything to the story.

I like them.

Prince Ian, ever chivalrous, grabbed hold of his friend’s arm to break his fall, but ended up going down with him instead, pinning Mikhailo to the floor with his big, strong body.

Fucking finally.

Their eyes met and Prince Ian felt his heart starting to beat faster. He could see a faint blush spreading over Mikhailo’s face. Neither of them spoke; neither of them moved. Then, slowly, slowly, Prince Ian leaned in to brush his lips over Mikhailo’s. Mikhailo lifted his head to meet him in a kiss to end all other kisses, a kiss to inspire a thousand love songs.

Uh-huh, and then…

And then they went to Prince Ian’s room and had sex all night long. But when Prince Ian woke the next morning—

Wait, wait, what? That’s it? “They had sex all night long.” How about some fucking detail, man?

Fine.

After having great sex using lots of good lube all night long, Prince Ian woke up alone in his bed.

I hate you.

He went in search of Mikhailo but couldn’t find his friend anywhere. He looked in the garden and in the kitchen and he went to the sad little cellar chamber Mikhailo called his room even though Prince Ian had never actually seen him sleep there.

Because he’s the dragon and sleeps in the tower chamber. Great hint, Gallagher. Real subtle.

Fuck off.

A week passed and Prince Ian was starting to suspect that Mikhailo was gone for good this time. Perhaps the dragon had found out about their tryst and had sent him away? Or maybe Mikhailo was disgusted with what had happened and wanted nothing more to do with the prince? Prince Ian wondered and worried and feared, and when finally Mikhailo returned, stepping into the kitchen like nothing had happened, Prince Ian was so exhausted with terror and regret that his relief immediately transformed into fury.

He yelled at Mikhailo, called him names and demanded to know where he’d been. He named him a coward and—

…

Hey, what’s the matter? You okay?

Yeah. Yeah, man, I’m fine.

You don’t look— Listen, Prince Ian’s just being an asshole, okay? He saying a bunch of stupid shit ‘cause he’s sick and tired of not knowing if he means as much to Mikhailo as Mickhailo means to him. He doesn’t mean it.

…

Mick?

I mean… He probably means it a little. He’s not wrong.

No, he’s— Fine. He means it a little right then. But he is wrong, okay? He doesn’t really understand what’s going on with Mikhailo, but he’ll get it later. He’ll know he wasn’t being really fair.

… yeah?

Yeah. Okay?

Okay.

Great. Maybe we should speed this bit up a little—

Once Prince Ian had finished shouting, Mikhailo just stared at him for a long moment.

“You have no fucking idea what you’re talking about,” he spat, and then he spun around and disappeared through the door.

Prince Ian was immediately overcome with regret, yet he was still too angry and hurt and stubborn to run after the other. He went about his day in a very foul mood and when he went to bed that night Mikhailo was still gone. Prince Ian slept fitfully and in the middle of the night he woke to a loud crash, soon followed by several more. He realized it must have come form the tower chamber and after a moment of hesitation he grabbed his nightgown and rushed up the stairs.

So, he brought a nightgown with him when he thought the dragon was going to kill him?

Of course not. He found it in one of the rooms.

Yeah, okay, but why are there so many rooms in this fucking lair anyway? What’s with all the old stuff there? Didn’t the dragon build the place to live in like right before Prince Ian was sent there?

Mickey. It’s getting late and I’d really love to wrap this up and go to bed. It doesn’t really matter about the rooms. Can I just continue with the story?

Whatever, man. Just thought you should know there’s a bunch of plot holes in your little fairy tale.

Once he reached the door to the forbidden room, the crashing noises had stopped. Instead, Prince Ian heard whimpers and moaning, as if from someone in great pain. It could only be the dragon – something must be wrong with it.

Yeah, ya think, Sherlock?

Prince Ian knocked on the door. There was no reply, other than more whimpers and moans. Steeling himself, he tried the handle. The door was unlocked.

That’s awfully convenient.

Stepping inside, Prince Ian found the dragon on the floor. It was clearly hurt, for there was dark blood pooling underneath it. As Prince Ian entered, the great beast lifted its head but said nothing and made no move to attack him. It seemed it was too badly hurt to pose any threat.

It occurred to Prince Ian that he could kill the dragon. He could go down to the kitchen and fetch the biggest knife there and then he’d be free and he could go back to the castle and his siblings and—

The dragon made a low, pained sound and let its head fall back to the floor, closing its eyes.

Prince Ian went down the stairs, but he didn’t fetch a knife, he fetched bandages instead. Though part of him cursed himself for a fool, he knew he couldn’t bring himself to kill the dragon, monster or not, and couldn’t bring himself to let it bleed to death either.

That’s a huge fucking mistake. Maybe the dragon never hurt him but it still kept him imprisoned. Prince Ian should be getting the hell out of there when he has the chance.

Hmm, yeah. Choosing to be locked up just to be the person you love does sound like a pretty insane thing to do.

Oh, fuck off. That’s totally different.

Sure, Mick.

By the time Prince Ian returned to the tower the dragon had lost consciousness. The prince set to cleaning and bandaging his wounds, having learned the art of it while training with a medical witch who lived at the castle. It took a great long while; the dragon was large and heavy and the cuts in its side long, if shallow. But Prince Ian was nothing if not determined and eventually he had the beast wrapped up.

As Ian moved to rise, the dragon stirred.

“The hell are you doing?” it muttered, blinking up at Ian. Then it spotted the bandages, and the ice blue eyes widened. “What the— Are you fucking insane? This is a... is a… real bad fucking idea… ”

It sounded… strange, and not just from the pain and blood loss, Prince Ian thought. Sounded not just slurred but softer somehow, in spite of the uncharacteristic cursing; sounded almost familiar; sounded like—

“Mikhailo,” Prince Ian whispered.

Ooooh, big surprise! I’m so shocked right now!

You know there are other uses for plot twists than to shock the reader, right? Or actually, I guess you don’t know, but if you picked up a book once in a while—

Yeah, yeah, whatever. What happened after this great and totally unexpected reveal?

The dragon lost consciousness again so Prince Ian went to bed and slept soundly and when he woke the next day he spotted Mikhailo leaning against the wall of his room, looking tired ad unhappy. He was even paler than usually and there was a stiffness to his posture that suggested quite a bit of pain, but other than that he seemed well enough.

“So,” Prince Ian said, trying for casualness as he sat up on his pallet. “You’re a dragon.”

Mikhailo shrugged. “Seems like it.”

“But only by night.”

“Yeah… We turn when the sun sets, and turn back again when it rises.”

“I didn’t know that about dragons.”

“No one around here fucking does. People realize how helpless we are during the day, they’d kill us in a heartbeat. My dad says— “

“Your dad?”

“The leader of the dragons. The really big, white one? This whole terror and extortion thing was his idea, once he realized that no one in this kingdom has a clue about dragons.”

“Oh.”

“He hates humans. Thinks they’re useless and weak. If he knew I kept you around instead of killing you, he’d have murdered us both.”

Jesus fucking Christ, laying it on a bit thick with the metaphysical shit there, don’t ya think?

You mean metaphorical?

I mean it’s fucking stupid, that’s what I mean.

Might be closer to allegory anyway.

Uh-huh. Nobody fucking cares, Shakespeare.

“So, anyway,” Mikhailo continued, “you should probably try to go as far away from here as possible. Find a ship and go across the sea or something.”

Prince Ian blinked. “What?”

“Yeah, man, you won’t be able to go back to your castle. No way to stay hidden there. I know this guy up in Dikno, he might—”

He fell silent as Prince Ian jumped up from the bed and crossed the space between them in two long strides, and then he gasped loudly as the prince’s lips found his.

It was another one to inspire love songs.

“You idiot,” Prince Ian said fondly when eventually they broke apart. “Of course I’m not going anywhere. Unless,” he added, suddenly shy, “you want me to.”

Mikhailo made a face. “No, you fucking moron, I don’t want you to go,” he finally said. “But my dad—”

“We’ll find a way to deal with him. We’ll figure out how to sort it out and set things right between humans and dragons. We’ll find a way, together. Okay?”

And Mikhailo the dragon looked at his prince for a long moment and then he smiled. “Okay.”

At his prince, huh. Surprised you got room for all those big words in your head when your ego’s taking up so much space. All right, then what happened?

They organized a rebellion against the leader of the dragons, I guess. I don’t really know. That’s another story.

What do you mean, another story? Is this it? You spend all that time setting it up but when you get to the good part with the fighting you just stop?

Yeah, it’s getting really late. Kid’s asleep anyway.

Kid’s been out cold since, like, before the dragons even showed up, man, don’t fucking pretend this story was for her. … you really not gonna continue?

Nah, I’ll continue. But for the next scene I figured we might try a little show, don’t tell…

Oh, really? What’s the next scene?

Make-up sex. Prince Ian fucking Mikhailo’s brains out. And hey, spoiler alert: Mikhailo comes four times.

Four times, huh.

Yeah. So… wanna know how it happens?

Okay.

Okay. It starts like this—

---

So, yeah. There we have it. The things we write for Gallavich Week… XD

I am halfway outraged that this is the longest fic I’ve ever written for Gallavich, but I’m rather pleased I managed to write something for this theme! Guess I’ll go to bed both proud and embarrassed and dead tired tonight. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Where I am, we’re half an hour past midnight, but seeing as it’s still Monday somewhere, I have decided that I’m posting on time. Yay me! @gallavichthings

#gallavich #gallavich week 2021 #gw2021 #fic #what have i done #my stuff

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