#i swear it happens every other day
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being a polyglot or someone learning multiple languages at once is NOT going "hola! oh wait i mean hello!" it's going "isn't venti twenty in italian. why am i saying it in that accent. benti. what is that. which language pronounces v as b. it's not german, their v sounds like f. it's not french. is it spanish?? that can't be right. maybe korean. but im not saying the other letters in a korean accent?????? or maybe i am???? benti. 밴티 (baenti). yeah that's different. then what accent is this???? benti. benti. benti. im gonna lose it. benti. benti. UGH. benti benti benti. bro what the hell *looks up what language pronounces v as b*. oh it is spanish."
#also the time i spent several minutes staring at a russian keyboard wondering why the korean looked weird#and assumed it was just because the keyboard was in uppercase korean#.....#korean does not have an uppercase letter system#and that other time i spent half a school day with the word 'son' in a specific accent stuck in my head#but that pronunciation and similar ones are found in many languages#so i was like 'i mean in french it means 'his'? no it's not that'#'in korean it's 'hand'????? no not that son either'#it was the spanish 'son' for 'are'#and i'd just left my spanish class right before i started thinking about 'son' too#also the many times i try to think of a word in any language and i can only remember the ASL sign#i swear it happens every other day#like 'what was the word for cat in french again? its umm its uhhh *pulls at invisible whiskers*'#BRAIN#THATS NOT FRECNH#or the time i tried to remember the ASL sign for something and only remembered BSL#polyglot#foreign language#language learning#french language#german lang#korean language#spanish language#american sign language#british sign language#italian language
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I can't stop thinking about how the Macallan people really missed a trick by not having Michael in that advert. You could've had him and David sharing a glass of whisky and staring into each other's eyes in front of a roaring fire. Michael as a repressed Welsh sheep farmer who meets whiskey distiller David up in the Highlands in the past and then crosses paths with him again in the present. They end up together living in a cute little cottage and raising sheep, and Repressed Michael fulfills his secret dream of becoming a drag queen with flat cap-wearing bisexual David's encouragement and they open a gay nightclub/distillery in town together. I've been calling Staged 'Brokeback Mount Him' for the last four years. Do you see the vision here...
#david tennant#soft scottish hipster gigolo#michael sheen#welsh seduction machine#just FYI that a 'flat cap' in Wales is called a Dai cap#i swear to god i did not make that up#why are they so meant for each other in every way#let me live please#i'm feeling a lot of feelings#also who cares if that isn't Macallan's actual history#we can retcon it#please universe make this happen#yes#ineffable lovers#discourse
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Truly from the depths of my struggling heart. Viva La Vida by Coldplay belongs to one Toshinori Yagi aka the one and only All Might.
Coldplay should just sign over the rights of the song at this point promptly too.
#the song just works on so many levels#cause yeah there’s the grander theme off glory days gone past#but there’s another layer of was; I really effective or good if the minute I left everything that I had built crumbled around me#because Toshinori was the symbol of peace but any peace that can’t survive without one man isn’t true peace at all#it’s a stalemate#hero society#should never have been so easy to collapse without all might#and honestly even though it was never really fully explored that was always a layer of the story I enjoyed#the ways in which a complete dominance in a field especially one as important as heroing can hurt just as much as it can help.#because if yagi had actually let people stand beside him if he hadn’t helped to create a space where other heroes could grow complacent#because all night was there. hero society would never have collapsed so easily without him.#it’s touched on but not a lot not dope if icalry about all nights dominance#it’s why I feel like if you watched the show and your geniune conclusion was that Deku should have become the new symbol of peace#then I just think we didn’t watch the same show#And don't get me wrong I'm not saying that yagi was wrong for saving people or using his powers to the max but it was touched on repeatedly#this kind of deep fear/belief that he had. That only he could save these people and if something happened to them it was on him.#Like every case could only be solved by him and it wasnt a pride thing if anything it was a trauma response same with Izuku#the tags for this got so long i swear i don't mean to do this😭#the symbolism#symbol of peace#all might#yagi toshinori#mha toshinori#mha#bnha#boku no hero acedamia#my hero acedamia#mha analysis#music#coldplay
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okay, I promised I was gonna do the outline for my fic today. so that's it. i'm gonna do it, and i'm not gonna draft a word of actual fic until i do
#i've been BAD about this one#and i'm coming up on a point where like...#i really can't easily write more of this fic without a real outline#i enjoy what i do write for it every day but this specific fic takes SO MUCH of my writing time bc#i have to figure out where to write and what happens each day#this thing is half done! and i don't know key events in the middle!#some events have a range of a full year they could happen and i haven't just PICKED one#because i need to know most of the other events to decide that#so today for real i'm doing this outline i fucking SWEAR
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#military surplus store trip 2 days ago#I got a very pink cowboy hat despite questioning everything about how I present myself. it was Calling to me#multiple people loved it and when I got home and put it on my 3 yo sister stopped in her tracks and said 'wow... you're soo pretty'#that has never happened before#so I Guess the pink cowboy hat will be a Special Fashion Thing#despite the little existential crisis it gives me every time I think about being a pink cowboy hat girl#which is a bit ridiculous but there you go.#I was so secretly dedicated to looking either vaguely emo (<333) or cuttingly defensively professional for a long time#that the idea of being COWBOY-aligned (CONSERVATIVE IDOLS UGH) and not only that but PINK (feminine??? >:O) really did not appeal#but it looks GOOD on me and... sigh. I don't have to make people know my personality by my clothes. I can just wear what I WANT to#and I really do LIKE the pink cowboy hat!! it's silly and awesome and goes clink and it's a COWBOY HAT man!!!#I get to be BOTH pink cowboy AND every other thing I am. I can still be CoolTM. I can still be completely myself.#those who love me will understand me. those who don't... don't have to understand me.#goodness gracious that was a lot of soul-searching over a HAT#I also got very very tough Army jungle combat boots#I am expecting them last well >:D and they make me feel SO POWERFUL#Robin processes emotions on main#I Guess XD#I only meant to tell y'all about my cool new items I swear
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there is not a single soul on planet earth who would be told by someone who is more or less a stranger, 'i know that you and x fucked in a car' and think 'oh he must have bugged it'
NOT A SINGLE SOUL NO ONE WOULD COME TO THAT CONCLUSION WITH THAT INFORMATION THEY'D JUST ASSUME THEY'D SEEN THEM FUCKING IN THE CAR BECAUSE THEY WERE FUCKING IN A CAR OUTSIDE
#''he told him'' YOU LITERALLY MADE THAT UP#IT NEVER HAPPENED#ofs liveblog#this isn't even the first time i've seen someone completely make something up too#like it happens every other day i swear#only friends the series#YEAH IM TAGGING IT AND WHAT ABOUT IT
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i had dinner at like 11pm, why the fuck am i hungry at 2am!!! why am i always so hungry at 2am!!!!!!
#my body's internal clock is so fucked up#i can't eat shit in the morning#and sometimes i can easily not eat till like 5pm#but no matter how late i had dinner or how much i ate#90% of the time i WILL be feeling hungry once midnight comes around#why the fuck is this happening in the EARLY ams and not at a reasonable time like idk!! 9am or so!!#airenyah plappert#i swear to god i go to bed hungry every other day#ughhh
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this election feels so hollow even though it’s likely ostensibly gonna be a good outcome. labour really just sucks fucking ass rn huh
#if the tories lose bad enough to make lib dems the opposition though… a guy can hope#I think it’s the fact that this is the first general election I can vote in that’s making me lose my mind a little here#I have done basically nothing but read today. I DO know a whole bunch more abt voting systems and the nightmare the tories have been now tho#I’m just kinda like. okay so what happens next? bc labour WILL do some decent shit but they also. fucking suck.#planning to look into the local green party once I’m back at uni bc I could actually do stuff there#I think I’m just dealing with a little bit of whiplash going from doing a biology degree where Everything is about climate change#like unambiguously it gets brought up in every topic (I DO focus on ecology and agricultural stuff and not like genetics but still)#clear consensus from literally everyone you talk to that shit has to happen right the fuck now.#it’s not even like I’m unaware of the state of policy rn I KNOW it’s a nightmare to do anything but we at least TALK about it#and then this election where it’s barely a footnote. biggest thing is the sewage dumping everyone’s talking about and yeah fucking finally#but is that all you’ve got?? the labour manifesto is bleak. it has a section and the stuff they’re proposing isn’t bad but it’s so little#and yeah no they’ve changed the official line on the manifesto to ‘make Britain a clean energy superpower’#I SWEAR it was different a few days ago#maybe I’m being pessimistic bc their plans for clean energy if they actually do them could be huge especially if they manage it by 2030.#it’s just that I know what the targets are and they’re already pulling back on shit like EVs bc of the shift right and I am So Tired#two party politics is a curse. as much as reform is an actual nightmare them getting a decent vote share might actually be the thing that#gets people talking abt proportional representation again bc they are nothing if not good at being loud#did you know we had a fucking referendum in 2011 bc what the fuck. and it went SO BADLY even though people generally supported it#god idk I think I’m once again being naively optimistic about people and election coverage has been very good at knocking me down a bit#people generally are good. I have to believe this. but man the british public is making that really fucking hard#genuinely I think a good chunk of that is down to first past the post driving politics to be divisive and aggressive#like is it the only problem? fuck no. but it’s definitely poisoning the way this shit goes bc when all the parties do is jab at each other#what are we actually doing here#idk I’m gonna stop now but this is taking up a ridiculous amount of bandwidth rn I can’t wait for it to be over#already dreading what the next election could look like in 4 years if starmer continues to suck ass bc I don’t trust him to not like at all#luke.txt#I said i was done but I just looked at the lib dem manifesto and oh my god it’s actually pretty good on this? holy fucking shit
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ok. giving myself 4 minutes to make this post and then i finish my homework. i just am so deeply miserable. i really think i made a mistake. i should not be in grad school. i only took a year between this and undergrad and i am still so burned out and mentally ill. im working full time. im only taking one class and this program is supposed to be so good and aligned with what i want and all of that. but i just cant stand having homework. i just cant stand it. i think i am not cut out for academia even though i work in academia. i think i will never get better as long as im still living at home but i have to get better before i can no longer be living at home but i cant get better until im not living at home and every day i still live at home saps away at my will to live quite literally. i should not have started doing grad school without regaining my will to live. without restoring my love for reading and writing that i used to have voraciously when i was younger and less deeply miserable. without recovering from the burnout. i think i made a mistake. i need a masters degree so bad so that i can be safe but i need to not have fucking homework when i already struggle to get through my days without school. i feel so stuck in my life and hopeless and helpless. i dont know what to do
#purrs#i cant drop out or anything because. lol and this class isnt even that big of a deal like i TRULY am freaking out over nothing. but my life#situation is so bad rn bro like i cant get my parents to take me out to drive and i cant get myself to get my parents to take me out to#drive and every day i am guilt tripped berated etc etc and i feel like i am never ever ever going to be able to have my own life where i a#stable and safe and happy. it can happen for other people except for me and my siblings. i dont know. im not explaining anything well.#i just cant do this. i need to not have this one more thing on my plate but i have to because if i dont have a masters degree in my field i#am nothing even though everyone is telling me that isnt true and all of them are credible but im just so mentally ill i cant believe anyone#and icant accept any advice or hope or whatever good about me i just. am stuck. this is as good as it gets and its not even good.#delete later#that was 7 minutes not 4 and i didnt even write anything substantial. nutshell. i just have been so fucking depressed lately oh my goddddd#this is maybe too strong of a thing to say but like. i know it isnt technically neglect if i am an adult but... i think i may kind of be#neglected by my family in some ways a little bit and always have been but like. emotionally. like in the ways in which im never a priority#and the things i need are seen as burdens etc etc. and theres nothing anyone can do about it even myself because im an adult but like lol.#24 year old dependent moment <3#well there is one thing i can do about it as an adult actually. its called move out. but that requires strength i will#never possess unfortunately due to the inherent flaws in my character and constitution so. guess this is it lawl 🥰#side note (and i swear im done after this lol): i think i was doing a lot better mentally over the summer. funny how when the semester#starts i get depressed and the depression just gets worse and worse until the end of the semester 😻 funny how this is my seventh year like#this. willingly subjecting myself to this. that should be a clue no? but i love my job and if i could just have my job and be stable in it#would be happier but also im lying to mysaelf and i will always be unhappy but its because of my mental illness not my job being bad or#anything its like. i am just sick in the head with impostor syndrome and thats how i got myself into this whole mess. lol#well that and the not moving out thing which is partially my fault but also because i live in hell as described earlier! <3
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#I'VE GROWN INTO A DEEPLY UNLOVABLE ADULT: playlist.#I know this is kind of a weird place to start with misao BUT I swear this song is relevant to her character jsjsj#During the 400 years she spent in Japan after she left home she had actually become acquainted with Japanese Pirates.#And she had joined them on their ' travels ' ( which basically just means raids / illegal exploits JSJSJ ).#But something unexpected happened during her time spent with them. There was one other woman on the ship and of course Misao wanted to try-#to connect with them as a result. And Misao was left being in complete wonder of her as she had never seen someone be so agile with a sword#before that point since the other woman in question ( her name was reika ) was known for being a BRILLIANT swordfighter. and due to her-#bunk being right above reika's they often found themselves have late night convo's with each other. And over time Misao felt this-#overwhelming feeling of warmth within her heart whenever she was around her as they soon began spending pretty much every single waking-#moment of their time together. And because Misao had never experience romantic love before this point she had thought she just held a deep-#admiration for Reika for a while. But then Reika volunteered to show Misao how to sword-fight and that's when she knew that she loved Reika#Because every single time she would physically correct Misao's stance with her hands or show her how to do a move more properly-#Misao felt this uncontrollable desire to kiss her. She just thought that Reika was so beautiful. And she wanted to have the spirit-#of a ' warrior ' just like her. So she reallyyy wanted for Reika to be her gf and after having a nightmare one night-#(because she is unfortunately plagued with them sometimes) and Reika expressed her concern for Misao by telling her that she could sleep-#in the same bed as hers Misao could've sworn that her heart stopped for a second and she was hesitant to at first but crawled in bed next-#to her anyhow in the end and after just laying there for a bit Reika turned to face her + just look into her eyes for a moment Misao asked-#if she could kiss her and Reika laughed and said something akin to ' oh if you only knew how long i've wanted for you to say that. -#of course you can ' and from that moment on Misao + Reika were a couple. And Misao was sooo in love with her that she wanted to find a way-#to make her immortal too. But decided not to when the topic was met with Pity by Reika whenever Misao finally revealed to her what she-#really is. Though the years that Misao spent with her were perhaps the happiest she's ever had. And she still loves Reika to this day.#She is also the reason why Misao wants to perfect her sword-fighting skills. Because she wants to make Reika proud of her.#... wherever she may be.#NO SLEEP OF THE INNOCENT. NOT FOR YOU: character study.
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I leave for twelve fucking hours and someone sabotages the shower heads again. Whoever left the new recruits unsupervised is in for one hell of a spar when I get my hands on you.
#I swear this happens with every other batch of initiates#why the hell do they think it's funny#no by all means go ahead and glue them shut#see how many laps around the village that earns you#hint: as long as it takes for the janitorial rotation to fix it#in the winter days || lonesome ramblings#hatake kakashi#anbu days#naruto rp#rp chain#state: injured
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if i dont see my friends tomorrow i will literally die
#i know im always so dramatic about this but im so alone it's pathetic.......#like everyone always has other people and im always asking people to pleeeeease pay attention to me like a pathetic dog#i keep asking people 'so are we meeting this week' 😥 like i swear im always asking this#and i just feel so pathetic about this like. heeyyy hiii please meet me someone im so normal hahaha pleaseeee 😥#and i dont want to blame people because like yeah. life. in general#but also it just keeps happening how we specifically set up a possible time and#then that time comes and TO ME it's supposed to be like the best day ever. literally the only time i can ever feel happiness. ONLY time fr#and then it's just another thursday for them like they promised someone else something.#and then i have to be like okay :') what about next week x day then :')#and then i ALWAYS end up making myself believe that this time it's actually gonna work out!!!! really!!!!!!!#and then it never does!!!!!! for such a long time!!!!#and i know like. whatever. life. it's literally normal i know and im not blaming them i really am not#but im just blaming myself for being so pathetic that the only sliver of happiness in my life is#meeting other people every few weeks if im lucky lmao#like. truly loser behavior#before anyone says i should meet new people maybe. that's true probably#but. :')#that post that goes like 'how it feels to be in a transitional period in your life' lmaoooooooooooo ooooo ooooo you know#anyway. i will probably delete this when i realize how unwell i sound but. well#🗒
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Not wealthy enough for the Mid Life Crisis and also life is unpredictable so I will be having an ongoing crisis
#why is allergy medicine like that#claritin smoking crack if they think im being robbed $25 for half the amount that id get of the generic for like $15 get real babe#dont mind me this is just the my bday is approaching and it is always accompanied with dread post#not necessarily afraid of aging just of the other things that happen like car maintenance and the general state of the world#i never feel Great on my birthday yknow#i started new meds so i can blame every weird feeling on those for the time being#yeah sorry im just the exact age where junior and senior year got screwed up by covid and now im almost 20 so!!! fuck! lmao#2003 babies deserve free therapy i THINK#actually everyone does but whatever#and i wonder why the top of my head is thinning. maybe bc feels like yesterday i barely graduated with some gifted burnout spice#and now today shit is too expensive at the store!! im living little treat to little treat over here#'hurr dur if those kids stopped buying starbucks every day' no sir i cant afford that but what i Can afford is popsicles so i stay alive#thank you very much#something about not having a lot of cash makes a bitch feel overly guilty about buying snacks i swear
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I always know which songs are gonna be underrated/slandered on an album because they're my favorite song(s) 🙃
#i swear every time I watch a reaction video to an album#my favorite songs are always the ones that are either deemed skips or not very good/the best or could've been taken off the album#I watched a reaction video to 5sos's SGFG my favorite 5sos album and the guy said that airplanes and san francisco were the weakest songs#on the album and I was just there like ''...of course it's my favorite songs you're saying that about when you loved every other song😑🙃''#and then I realized it really was a pattern because the same thing happened with emotions on 5sos5 and lover of mine on CALM#graceland too on phoebe bridgers' punisher is another example#THANKFULLY no slander for new years day when my boy HTHAZE did his rep reaction I would have LOST IT#he did slander call it what you want tho so#among other songs and albums but my point is that if a song is my favorite 9 times out of 10 it will be an underrated and/or slandered song#and that has really started to bug me a lot#abby's just rambling don't mind her#abby fully admits she's an idiot
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going to bed before i burst into actual tears of helpless frustration because for the third time in as many weeks, my computer has decided that despite paying for 500mbps internet, i'm only allowed an oscillation between 2.4-40mbps for absolutely no valid reason, and whatever i did to somehow make it work again last time absolutely will not work this time
#first time i got told by several folks i must be in a wifi deadspot#nevermind that for the two days prior it had been entirely fine in that spot#so i moved the computer and rearranged every single item of furniture in my bedroom#and it worked!#LAST week i uninstalled and reinstalled drivers; let hp examine my device through their site and find me missing drivers#shut down and restarted so many fucking times#changed network bands#disconnected from the network and made my computer forget it and then connected fresh#did all the refresh signal and restart gateway bullshit#and at the end of all that the drivers thing seemed to work!#NOW? THIS WEEK? TONIGHT????#literally fucking nothing is fixing it and every diagnostic tool under the sun swears everything is completely fine and working normally#i am going to dissolve into exhausted tears#apparently what i won't be doing is ANYTHING online on my personal computer for... however long this goes on this time#(and btw literally every other device in the house has zero such issue#work laptop three feet behind me? fine. personal laptop? fine. switch? fine. kandi's pc/xbox? fine.#my phone while sitting directly in front of my computer twelve inches from it while it gets 14mbps?#ALSO COMPLETELY FUCKING FINE. i am beyond at a loss and i'm so goddamned tired)#(this computer is less than 2 years old and i paid over $800 for it WHY IS THIS HAPPENING 😭)
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Sorry to all the people who I follow by accident and immediately unfollow, my fingors are large I guess lol
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