#and now today shit is too expensive at the store!! im living little treat to little treat over here

[cherrydott]

Not wealthy enough for the Mid Life Crisis and also life is unpredictable so I will be having an ongoing crisis

[nobutfredweasleytho]

YOU JUST DON’T LISTEN(F.W)

Summary: Fred’s ex girlfriend writes him a letter to explain the how him using her wrecked her emotionally.

Warnings: angst, like a lot of angst, depressed Y/N, mentions of self doubt, a little swearing, mentions of parents not loving correctly, used reader. Let me know if I missed anything.

A/N: Major thank you to Gabriella @onlyfreds for being an amazing person and encouraging me to write whatever this mess is. I am forever grateful to you

(The font is terrible Im sorry im just getting used to working on tumblr)

Fred Weasley checked the muggle clock on his nightstand. 10:30 AM. His mom will call him for breakfast anytime now. He has been awake for quite some time if he can even count the 30 minutes he tried to sleep but couldn’t, not when every time he tries to close his eyes his mind and eventually dreams are clouded by her. By the last time he looked at her, how devastated she looked, How her face was wet from her tears and her eyes bloodshot red, but the thing Fred will never be able to forget is her voice. How raw and vulnerable she sounded while saying the most horrible thing’s anyone has ever said to him, but he can’t blame her, he has no one to blame but himself because in the end it was he who caused all of this and now its come to bite him in the ass. He hears the door open and his twin brother George enters.

“Mom says breakfast is ready and she wants you downstairs. She says she’ll drag you herself if you don’t show up again today.”

“Tell her I’m not hungry and I’ll come grab a bite later.” I really don’t feel like being surrounded by other people right now. Not in this pathetic state I’m in. Besides it will take me willpower I don’t have to not hex Ron into oblivion.

“Well she will not take no for an answer and I wont either. What’s done is done now and you’ll have to face the world someday so start with your own family because everyone down there is worried sick about you and the least you can do is show your face once in a while so they know you haven’t died of starvation or sleep deprivation.” George has worry written all over him and I’m sure the rest of the family has it too. I feel even more like shit for worrying them.

“Fine. But I come back here if she is mentioned are we clear?”

“We weren’t gonna mention Y/N anyway now lets go moms worried sick for your dumbass.”

Breakfast was going smoothly with Ginny and Ron being exited for Quidditch season, Harry and Bill discussing the unfortunate events of the Triwizard tournament last year, dad asking Hermione about a rubber duck whatever that is, but the most shocking thing is mom asking me and George about the joke shop products. George is doing most of the talking but still the fact that shes even asking is awesome. I was finally feeling peaceful this whole winter break until I heard a hoot outside the window.

“I thought it was Tuesday but since mail is here does it mean its Friday already? Oh how fast time is going.

“No Arthur honey you are right it is Tuesday, Bill or George can one of you see if that owl has the owners name attached to it and bring whatever letter he has here to see who is it for.”

Bill got up from his seat and went to the window next to the countertop to look at the mystery owl. “Do we even know a Y/N Y/L/N?”

The room went quiet. The only thing that could be heard was the owls hoot asking for its treat. Bill seemed not to realise this as he took the letter from the owl, gave him a treat and sent it on its way.

“To Fred Weasley from Y/N Y/L/N… Who’s Y/N is she the girl you’ve been crying over this whole time huh Freddie?” Bill chuckled but I just grabbed the letter. I had no time to even be mad at him because once again my mind fogs up with only her. I couldn’t help but feel relieved and the happiest I felt in a long time. She has forgiven me. Y/N forgave me. That has to be it. Why else would she send me a letter?

“I had a great time with you guys but there’s important matters for me to attend so I have to go to now. Thanks mom the breakfast was amazing as always.” And with that I sprinted towards my room, locked the door and examined the letter in my hands. It was a bunch of them in here. I went to mine and George’s worktable threw some papers that were on top of it to make room for these letters and carefully opened the envelope.

The first thing that I grabbed was a photo. It was a polaroid of me and Y/N on the Gryffindor common room. Happiness filled my heart when I started remembering this night. I looked at the back of the polaroid and surely enough there was a writing on it.

Fred and Yn on the Gryffindor common room at 1 AM the night she turned 17. Listening to ABBA’s “Dancing Queen”. Picture taken by major 3rd wheel George Weasley.

Tears filled my eyes when I remember this night. It was the night I looked at her the way I always should have. Not as a replacement of someone who didn’t care about me.

The next one was also a polaroid photograph but this one I don’t remember being taken. It’s a picture of Y/N teaching me how to play the guitar. I can make up that we are in her dorm but not more as the picture is taken in black and white. I look at the back and surely this one also has a writing on it but the handwriting doesn’t look familiar at all.

A drunken Y/N accompanied by a even drunker Fred trying to play the guitar in the middle of the night. If I fail my charms exam tomorrow I’m killing you both but right now you two look adorable. Picture taken by Cho Chang.

The third one is an actual letter. I chuckle looking at the handwriting. Always so precise and not even one line out of place. I always thought Y/Ns handwriting always contradicts her hot headed persona but it’s actually really cute. I start reading the letter and my heart stops.

Dear Freddie,

I can only imagine the shock that receiving a letter from me would cause you right now especially after our last conversation.

But I have a lot to get off of my chest and I wont be able to move on if I haven’t said it all. Call me a coward but I was really scared to ask you to meet me so I can say it in person, but maybe that’s what I have always been. A coward. A coward because I get scared when someone wants to enter my life, a coward because I hate trying new things at the expense of failing, a coward because I should be able to confront people who brought darkness and sadness to my life.

But one thing I will admit Fred Weasley is that I wasn’t a coward when It came to loving you. It was the first time that I let someone come into my life and heart the way you did, and it will probably be the last. Throughout our “relationship” if you can even call it that as it was more of you customizing me to be her, to be someone I’m not. But that’s why you even talked to me is it, because I reminded you of her.

The signs were right in front of me and I feel stupid enough not to have seen them. But I guess people are right when they say love is blind. Love is such a funny thing to me as the first time I experienced the right kind of love was through you. But that was me creating stuff in my head. You didn’t love me no, you loved the idea of me. But I loved you. I loved you more than anything or anyone I have ever loved, I loved everything about you. But you just don’t listen. You don’t listen to anyone around you. Not George, not your other siblings, not Lee or any of your other friends for that matter, not your professors, but most importantly you don’t listen to me.

You didn’t listen when I told you that the love my parents gave me was only because I reminded them of my brother, the love my old friends back home gave me was one of interest. Everywhere I go no matter who I talk to no one will love me for me. I came to accept that until I met you.

You were funny and crazy and brave and oh so gorgeous. You were basically everything I looked for in… well everything. In a friend or in a partner it doesn’t matter. I thought you saw me for who I am. A broken teenager with issues but that at the end of the day was deserving of love. Oh how wrong I have been but no more wrong than you. You knew this but you just didn’t listen.

That makes us both horrible people now does it. Me who thought you were some kind of savior or some kind of saint and selfishly wrapped myself around your love and you who used me because I remind you of your ex girlfriend who broke your heart. But mine is excused I feel like and yours isn’t.

You would have kept me going for who knows how long just so you can live your imaginations you had for someone else.

Did you think about her the first time we slept together?

Was I not enough for you Freddie?

Was I too clingy too soon?

Is it my hot temper that gets the best of me?

So many questions will be left unanswered on my end because frankly, I never want to speak of you again. Sure I am deprived of love but I will not take it if its not directed directly at me.

I still care about you and will continue to support you and George on whatever you set your mind into. I was waking through Diagon Alley last week and saw this little store with a “for sale” sign. It’s right in the middle of Diagon Alley. I hate how my first thought went that you would have loved it but I seem to do that a lot recently.

I’ll get dressed and think would Fred love this skirt or this shirt.

I start applying lipstick and I’ll think will Fred love this color.

I start eating and I’ll think does this look good enough that Fred would’ve stolen a piece of it when I’m talking to Ginny.

I don’t even know why I am telling you this. How pathetic I’ve become clinging into someone that doesn’t want me.

Anyway I’ve probably bored you enough with my ranting but I wouldn’t have been able to move on unless I said everything that felt heavy on my heart. I also attached some photos I thought you’d like to keep seeing as now you can see yourself with Kayla without having the burden to be near me.

Say hi to your siblings and Harry for me.

Have a nice life,

Y/N

[hueman-blog]

Answering Personal Questions

I made a user I follow, @razzledazzlefoshazzle , answer all of these on his blog. I’m feeling guilty so I’m gonna do it too. I know none of you asked but HERE GOES MY PERSONAL INFO!!!

200: My crush’s name is: Averi 
199: I was born in: Place? Lancaster, PA, USA. Year? 1999 
198: I am really: Bored and unmotivated 
197: My cellphone company is: Apple 
196: My eye color is: Brown 
195: My shoe size is: 8-9 Women’s US 
194: My ring size is: Idk, something little 
193: My height is: 5'4" I’m little 
192: I am allergic to: Stupid people 
191: My 1st car was: Never had one 
190: My 1st job was: Cashier at California Tortilla (a fast food Mexican franchise around D.C.) 
189: Last book you read: Cradle and All 188: My bed is: My safest place, my true home, and also too empty 
187: My pet: Doesn’t do much 
186: My best friend: Is my girlfriend 
185: My favorite shampoo is: Shamu 
184: Xbox or ps3: Deck of cards 
183: Piggy banks are: Cute decoration, inefficient coin collector 
182: In my pockets: I’m in pajamas 
181: On my calendar: Work, as that’s the only thing in my life scheduled. Also a haircut within a few days 
180: Marriage is: Great for legal benefits, stupid for expensive ceremonies 
179: Spongebob can: Please end soon it turned idiotic long ago 
178: My mom: Is abusive (sorry to bring the mood down) 
177: The last three songs I bought were? Who buys songs anymore?? 
176: Last YouTube video watched: History of the World 
175: How many cousins do you have? On my dad’s side, 8. On my mom’s side, no idea 
174: Do you have any siblings? An older brother 
173: Are your parents divorced? Nope 
172: Are you taller than your mom? Probably not 
171: Do you play an instrument? Nope 
170: What did you do yesterday? Absolutely nothing just like every day

[ I Believe In ] 
169: Love at first sight: Nope 
168: Luck: Yes 
167: Fate: Nope 
166: Yourself: Not really 
165: Aliens: Yeah there’s gotta be some life out there 
164: Heaven: No 
163: Hell: No 
162: God: The Flying Spaghetti Monster? Hell yes. Be boiled for your sins 
161: Horoscopes: Nope and frankly if you do I find you uneducated 
160: Soul mates: No 
159: Ghosts: Nah 
158: Gay Marriage: Believing??? In love,??? And commitment??????? Between two people???????? Obviously! 
157: War: Never 
156: Orbs: I believe in Orbeez 
155: Magic: No it’s just science we can’t explain, or illusions we can’t see the entirety of

[ This or That ] 
154: Hugs or Kisses: Kisses 
153: Drunk or High: Music 
152: Phone or Online: Online on my phone 
151: Red heads or Black haired: Black haired 
150: Blondes or Brunettes: Brunettes 
149: Hot or cold: Hot 
148: Summer or winter: Summer 
147: Autumn or Spring: Autumn 
146: Chocolate or vanilla: Chocolate 
145: Night or Day: Night 
144: Oranges or Apples: Apples 
143: Curly or Straight hair: Straight 
142: McDonalds or Burger King: McDonalds 
141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: Milk Chocolate 
140: Mac or PC: Mac!! 
139: Flip flops or high heels: Flip Flops 
138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: ugly and sweet are opposites now?? I guess sweet and poor 
137: Coke or Pepsi: Fruit Punch 
136: Hillary or Obama: Obama 
135: Burried or cremated: Cremated 
134: Singing or Dancing: Singing 
133: Coach or Chanel: Money to spend on actual useful things 
132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: Who??? 
131: Small town or Big city: Big City 
130: Wal-Mart or Target: Target 
129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: Both suck, but I’d choose Stiller 
128: Manicure or Pedicure: Manicure. My feet are too ticklish 
127: East Coast or West Coast: West Coast USA 
126: Your Birthday or Christmas: Christmas, I don’t like being the center of attention 
125: Chocolate or Flowers: Chocolate 
124: Disney or Six Flags: Disney 
123: Yankees or Red Sox: What is a sport? How do??

[ Here’s What I Think About ] 
122: War: What is it good for? Absolutely nothing 
121: George Bush: “Mr. President, what are your thoughts on Katrina?” “We’re gonna find her. And we’re gonna bring her to justice.“ 
120: Gay Marriage: Its a marriage between two people in love. Celebrate, but don’t go broke in one day 
119: The presidential election: Media and rich people control it basically, and I’d rather it be an actual democratic popular vote. Trump is a clown and should have never won 
118: Abortion: Its a woman’s right to choose. Personally I think the world is overpopulated anyway and more people should adopt rather than try to conceive 
117: MySpace: Never had one 
116: Reality TV: Scripted, not reality 
115: Parents: Good or bad, they influence your whole life because they were there at the start. Mine went bad and ruined me 
114: Back stabbers: Oh I love them- what?? They suck. No one should be betrayed like that 
113: Ebay: Never used it but it got the ball rolling for Amazon 
112: Facebook: I only use it to message/call my friends, and to see unlimited amounts of dogs 
111: Work: It’s a necessary evil 
110: My Neighbors: Quiet, the only one I met was a total bitch though 
109: Gas Prices: I don’t drive 
108: Designer Clothes: C'mon people there are way better uses for your money 
107: College: Shouldn’t be expected of teenagers 
106: Sports: Boring, overhyped, the players overpaid 
105: My family: Worthless, judgmental pricks 
104: The future: Uncertain

[ Last time I ] 
103: Hugged someone: Sunday (3 days ago), when my friend picked me up from work 
102: Last time you ate: Italian ice about 1.5 hours ago (8:15pm) 
101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile: A month ago 
100: Cried in front of someone: A month ago maybe?? 
99: Went to a movie theater: Many many months ago 
98: Took a vacation: A year ago 
97: Swam in a pool: Two years ago? 
96: Changed a diaper: Never 
95: Got my nails done: My 16th birthday I think (almost two years ago) 
94: Went to a wedding: Eight years ago? 
93: Broke a bone: Never 
92: Got a peircing: I was 14 and got my ears pierced (almost 4 years ago) 
91: Broke the law: Never 
90: Texted: A minute ago

[ MISC ] 
89: Who makes you laugh the most: My friend Brad. He’s so inappropriate but his jokes I cannot stop laughing at 
88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: Not paying bills other than Internet 
87: The last movie I saw: Coraline 
86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: Moving to California 
85: The thing im not looking forward to: Paying for rent in California 
84: People call me: To friends: Lys. To family: Alyssa. To my girlfriend: Lyssy. To everyone else: annoying 
83: The most difficult thing to do is: Get up out of bed every day 
82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: Nope I do not drive 
81: My zodiac sign is: Cancer 
80: The first person i talked to today was: My friend Jessica 
79: First time you had a crush: Preschool, this boy in my class Marshall 
78: The one person who i can’t hide things from: Myself 
77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: Yesterday, idk? 
76: Right now I am talking to: My phone in the way of typing 
75: What are you going to do when you grow up: Survive hopefully. I also wanna be a flight attendant 
74: I have/will get a job: Have a job as assistant manager of an arcade 
73: Tomorrow: I’m going food shopping and seeing my annoying cousin Barbara (she has two boyfriends and they both treat her like shit. It’s not poly it’s just cheating) 
72: Today: I actually made a meal that was nice 
71: Next Summer: I’ll be living in California 
70: Next Weekend: I have to face my parents for the first time since February. I hate it 
69: I have these pets: A ball of moss named Mo 
68: The worst sound in the world: My girlfriend crying 
67: The person that makes me cry the most is: My father 
66: People that make you happy: My girlfriend Averi 
65: Last time I cried: A few weeks ago?? 
64: My friends are: Averi, Raven, Jessica 
63: My computer is: My phone 
62: My School: Is nonexistent 
61: My Car: Is also nonexistent 
60: I lose all respect for people who: Hate on others for no reason 
59: The movie I cried at was: Toy Story 3 
58: Your hair color is: Black 
57: TV shows you watch: None 
56: Favorite web site: Tumblr usually 
55: Your dream vacation: California 
54: The worst pain I was ever in was: Once I got constipated a few months ago for 48 hours. I screamed 
53: How do you like your steak cooked: Medium 
52: My room is: Either super messy or super clean. Right now messy 
51: My favorite celebrity is: Jacksepticeye 
50: Where would you like to be: In my girlfriend’s arms on a beach 
49: Do you want children: Right now I don’t think I ever would but if I ever did I’d adopt 
48: Ever been in love: Yes I am now 
47: Who’s your best friend: My girl 
46: More guy friends or girl friends: Girl friends 
45: One thing that makes you feel great is: Sleeping 
44: One person that you wish you could see right now: AVERI 
43: Do you have a 5 year plan: Stalin did 
42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: Nope 
41: Have you pre-named your children: I did with my ex. Never again 
40: Last person I got mad at: My grandmother 
39: I would like to move to: California 
38: I wish I was a professional: Sleeper [ My Favorites ] 
37: Candy: Swedish Fish or Nerds 
36: Vehicle: Volkswagen Beetle 
35: President: Biden 
34: State visited: California 
33: Cellphone provider: Cricket 
32: Athlete: Me, running from my responsibilities 
31: Actor: Eddie Redmayne 
30: Actress: Anna Kendrick 
29: Singer: Laura Jane Grace 
28: Band: Against Me! 
27: Clothing store: Thrift shops 
26: Grocery store: Safeway 
25: TV show: Adventure Time 
24: Movie: Wall-E 
23: Website: Pornhu- I mean Tumblr 
22: Animal: Red Panda 
21: Theme park: Disney World 
20: Holiday: Christmas 
19: Sport to watch: Extreme Chess Mega X 
18: Sport to play: How Late Can I Get Up Before Concerning My Family 
17: Magazine: :enizagaM 
16: Book: The Underneath 
15: Day of the week: Saturday 
14: Beach: Any beach 
13: Concert attended: Fall Out Boy x Paramore 
12: Thing to cook: Pasta with alfredo sauce 
11: Food: Bacon egg & cheese on a bagel 
10: Restaurant: TGI Fridays 
9: Radio station: Night Vale Community Radio 
8: Yankee candle scent: Ass 
7: Perfume: Averi’s 
6: Flower: Averi 
5: Color: Orange - the color of Averi’s voice 
4: Talk show host: John Oliver 
3: Comedian: Bo Burnham 
2: Dog breed: Corgi 
1: Did you answer all these truthfully? Hell yeah I wouldn’t lie to you