#i suppose this is something to take into consideration when we talk about characters like him

[beevean]

Honestly I feel that if someone were to face Guts about all the shit he's done as the Black Swordsman he'd probably just...grimly accept it and move on

He wouldn't be consumed by guilt and begging for forgiveness, he'd just accept that he did what he did while also insisting that he has no intention of just getting stuck in his past actions or, I dunno, do jail time.

That's not necessarily because Guts feels no guilt about his past transgressions (his whole "weaklings who can't defend themselves" mentality was just a rationalization to protect his conscience from guilt, he felt awful about the priest and his daughter and about Vargas, not to mention the kids of Misty Valley), it's just that, as he tells Casca during his breakdown, he has killed so many people due to his life style that it's easy for him to just stop thinking about it after a while. Even back in Golden Age: he's traumatized after accidentally killing Adonis, a few days later however he's already gotten over it

It's both a result of Guts being accustomed to killing people since he was a child and also due to Guts' philosophy about always moving forward and living life how you want to no matter what, whose only obstacle is Griffith.

Remember: the deciding factor for him to abandon his path of revenge was just Casca being in danger, not him realizing he was ruining people's lives and needed to stop. In the end the Beast of Darkness can be viewed as a form of retribution: it was born due to the Eclipse but it only got as strong as it is due to Guts living such a hate filled bloody life as the Black Swordsman, and if he thinks he can just walk away from that with no repercussions then the Beast is there to remind him of what he used to be. It threatening to kill his new friends is Guts having to come to terms with the monster he had allowed himself to become, except now the target is not just apostles with a bunch of nameless civilians in the way that he can cause the deaths of while having a detatched attitude about it,the target is now his family, every time he dons the Armor Guts gets to experience what it feels like to have the Black Swordsman come in and kill your loved ones while in a blind rage

Now if CASCA were to confront him about what he's done during those years...I feel that would be a much different story...

I can't add much.

At the end of the day, Guts is a child soldier. He was trained to kill, and to kill for trifling reasons like money. While he has a soft spot for children, which is why the entire ordeal with Rosine was so harrowing for him (and while he stopped torturing himself over Adonis quickly, killing him still left an impact on him, not helped by hearing Griffith accidentally dismissing Guts as a friend), death as a whole has no meaning on him. He's used to being hated, which is probably why he has already forgotten about the trauma he left on Theresia.

It's interesting to think Guts and Griffith share a similar "no point in looking back, the only way is forward" mentality, but for different reasons: Griffith has tunnel vision, and he's projected towards the future (he's a pretty skilled manipulator and plotter for a reason), while Guts lives in the present, day by day.

I think his way of thinking can be seen when Farnese pledges her alliance to him, and he says "eh, I killed some of your men, we're even, do what you want", matter-of-factly... while inside he's much more tortured inside over what he has just done to Casca, which is the real reason he's even entertaining changing his lifestyle and travelling with the people he has both hurt and helped.

[xenodile]

"Shuro loves Falin for the same reasons he hates Laios" Completely and utterly wrong, could not be further off base.

I get the impression a lot of people watching Dungeon Meshi as it airs, or are a bit removed from its original manga run, have forgotten that Laios and Falin being monster freaks wasn't actually apparent until the events of the story. The only person that knew Falin loved monsters as much as Laios was Marcille because they were best friends at school.

Once Laios and Falin were in an adventuring party together, they both had public facing personas because they had both learned through their separate upbringings that being super interested in monsters and dungeons wasn't normal. Laios is the blunt but well meaning, outspoken and opinionated guy we all know, but Falin was way more withdrawn and soft-spoken, non-confrontational, easy to get along with. Everyone that interacted with Falin would say she's a sweet, gentle girl that everyone likes. Because she was, frankly, kind of a doormat.

The whole thing with Toshiro's infatuation with Falin is he doesn't actually know her. She is outwardly very polite and reserved, and that appeals to Toshiro because it meshes with his cultural sensibilities and how he was taught people are supposed to behave. Then he sees her marveling at a caterpillar in a private moment and decides on the spot that she's the ideal woman and proposes without actually talking to or getting to know her.

And his lack of understanding of Falin as a person is brought to the forefront in every action he takes after she gets eaten. He leaves the party and makes no attempt to contact the two people that Falin loves the most. Whether it's a matter of him just not knowing how much Falin cares about her brother and Marcille, or actively avoiding Laios to rescue Falin himself, he's demonstrating that he doesn't actually know what's important to her or understand how she feels.

Then when he meets Laios's party on the lower floors and they go over what happened, it's made even more blatant that Toshiro's affection is shallow and half-baked. He came into the dungeon a week too late and neglected his health the whole way down, so he was in no state to actually try and save Falin when he got there. When Laios talks about eating monsters, something Falin was thrilled about, Toshiro is disgusted. He threatens to kill Laios and turn Marcille in, which would never fly with Falin. His anger at the use of black magic is entirely based in his selfish idea of Falin being tainted and blaming Laios and Marcille for "ruining" his attempt to rescue her, as Kabru points out that Toshiro would have done the exact same thing in their shoes and that he's being a hypocrite. To say nothing of how he'd rather kill Falin after she's been transformed and "put her to rest" rather than put any effort into saving her, because that would require further involvement from Laios and Marcille and methods that Toshiro doesn't approve of.

And there's the fight he has with Laios, and Toshiro's subsequent confession that he had hoped to just take Falin home with him. He at no point gives consideration to what Falin feels or what she might want, only what he has decided about her based on the most surface level observation. Just like how his problem with Laios arises from his refusal to just talk to him about his boundaries, he has no actual connection with the woman he claims to love because he just wouldn't actually talk to her.

Like it's not a coincidence that every time his attraction to Falin is brought up, another character goes "yeah he's being weird about it".

[konpeitonom]

Hi I’m the OP who requested the recovered Curly hcs and I LOVE THEM SM!!! It’s so cute how clingy he became and how he tried to make amends for his inaction he absolutely would!!! There needs to be more love for disabled characters ✨✨✨✨

I’m going to take you up on your offer for a first time meeting after his recovery if you don’t mind your writing is so lovely!!! Maybe something about them meeting and their first date

Also age gap…40s/middle aged curly and late 20s reader… middle aged men save me ough

first meeting/dating recovered grant curly.

sfw— lowercase intended ^_^

fem reader —

requests are open and heavily encouraged, i write for every mw character ^.^

notes; hi anon! this has been sitting at the bottom of my inbox. just decided to work my way up. sorry this is late haha i hope you enjoy nonetheless. writing for recovered curly is very, very fun. i’ll admit that.

— i think id take him a couple years, closer to a decade, to start dating again! he doesn’t wanna burden anyone with his emotional state, so he’d wanna make sure he’s okay and happy before doing so.

— i like to think you guys met naturally. no dating apps, he’s too old for that. perhaps you guys frequent the same hospital, like you have an older relative there you see from time to time. whatever it is, he managed to land a date!

— he’d be so nervous! not in an insecure way, but in a, “it’s been a long time since i’ve done something like this.. i can’t mess it up.”

— he’d want to talk to you, get to know you just a little more than average before asking you out. yes, he’d ask you out. he wouldn’t be offended if you asked him out (and he’d actually appreciate it a ton) but he’s the guy! he’s supposed to be courting you.

— he’s traditional, so maybe a coffee shop- or lunch out. or in people-pleasing curlys case; whatever you wanted to do! even a walk in the park would suffice. and of course he’d always grab the check.

— he’s the type to ask very important questions on a first date. he never wants to waste anyone’s time, or waste his as well. like, what’s it you’re looking for? what do you value? just stuff like that. but only if the mood calls for if, if the date is very, very casual- then he’d bring it up later.

— he’d also ask you if you’re okay with how he looks. again, he isn’t insecure, but he understands the culture we live in.. but he’s certain you don’t mind, since you’re literally on a date together..

— would insist on taking you home, to make sure you get home safe. that’s a man’s job after all. he’d wait for you to walk in, and even then just wait a tinsy bit longer to make sure you’re 100% okay.

— he’d text you the morning after to make sure you slept well, ask you how you felt about the date and such. he’d ask for a second if you give a good response. this time something less formal, like maybe at a garden nearby- or at a bookstore.

— i think he’s really, really into books. he’d be so happy if you read anything he recommended. he’s a considerate man, so all your preferences would be taken into account.

— kisses on the cheek, or on the hands.. he’s a very sweet guy. won’t be so touchy if you resist in any way, but if you allow him, he’ll be all over you.. loves holding your hand! wouldn’t be afraid to initiate it first.

— he would send roses/your favorite flowers to your workplace! maybe a bit early on, when you start dating. he’s a very romantic man, and he isn’t afraid to show you that.

— he’s very particular about sending flowers. would understand flower meanings and everything! classic roses is always a good pick, but further on he’d move onto other things. like red carnations for when you’re on a business trip of some sorts.

— first kiss on the lips would be, a bit emotional for him, maybe? it’s been a long while since he’s done any of that, really, so the fact he can experience what love feels like again at such an older age? he feels lucky, very lucky.

— of course a fancy dinner date would come much sooner rather than later. would do many things to see you in a fancy dress, eating nice food. he’d feel so proud to be seen with you, how pretty you are.. and he can’t wait to spoil you for the rest of his days.

[thebibliosphere]

Hi! How are you doing? Sorry to bother you, but i dont know many scottish people and idk who to talk to about this book I found on audible. It's called Imogène, by french author Charles Exbrayat. Do you know him /the book? I've started reading it but I had to pause because, while being sold as a "humorous spy story" I find the protagonist, a "very proudly scottish" woman, to be... an offensive caricature? Like she acts like a fool, honestly. This book contains some interesting points about sexism (it was published in 1959), and ridiculous british habits (such as employees forced to give money for princess anna's birthday or being socially scorned). I'm sure the shared dislike / distrust the protagonist and her british colleagues feel are (were?) realistic. But she is so extra, and the story keeps telling how lonely she is, even after working 20 years in london. She has No friends, most acquitances dont talk to her for various motivations, her bosses hates her ... idk I feel this book is actually mocking scottish people? Or scottish women??? I was SO there for a "strong woman protagonist who gives cutting remarks to her boss or peers", but this looks wrong. Idk. I didnt know whom ask for inputs. Maybe i'm reading too much into it. Feel free to ignore this mega rant. Have a good day!

I think cultural and historical context and time of publication-- which was almost 70 years ago --are important factors to take into consideration when we look at fiction through our current expectations.

I can’t speak to the book as I’ve never read it, but speaking as a Scots woman who worked for an English publishing house for a while, being made to feel alienated by my boss and others due to being Scottish was unfortunately still something going on in 2011.

I’d get lots of “Oh but you sound so eloquent” remarks regarding my thinned-out accent (something I did on purpose to avoid being told to “speak properly” which was also something I heard a lot in school if I ever used my native Scots language instead of “Queen’s English.”) and one time my boss referred to me as “their civilized Scot” to an American author, whose Scottish romance book I was supposed to be fixing the dialogue on.

The phrasing was along the lines of, “Don’t worry, you’ll be able to understand her. Joy is our civilized Scot.”

The author laughed and made another derogatory comment about how they just loved Scottish accents even if it was unintelligible a lot of the time. I kept my mouth shut because I didn't want to lose my first career job.

I kept my mouth shut a lot in that job.

In that regard I could very well empathize with the character being lonely and not engaging with anyone, even after 20 years.

The proud Scottish woman can be a bit of a caricature, but that doesn't necessarily mean it is intended as mocking.

Again, cultural/historical context matters.

I wasn’t alive in 1959, but I know there was a lot of Scottish media about the time that leaned into the stubbornness and pride of Scots women both for humor and to make societal commentary on the fact that women were strong and more independent than they’d ever been following two world two and a lot of men weren’t happy about it and wanted them to go back into their boxes. As a result the mouthy, proud Scots woman became a mockable caricature that turned women into shrill, over proud scolds.

Get back in your box or we’ll make fun of you, basically.

So is this book being mocking, or is it employing popular tropes of the time, knowing that audience will understand what it means and that the female protagonist is being subversive despite what others expect from her?

I can’t say. Again, haven’t read it. It could be utter dogshit and making total fun of my culture. But I do think when looking at older media we need to put our thinking caps on and think, “How would the audience of the time, 1959, have viewed and engaged with this?”

Expecting a “strong female protagonist” as we know it from media today isn’t going to work with media that’s almost 70 years old.

Hell, the “strong woman protagonist” wasn’t even something any piece of media could agree on when I was growing up in the 90s.

Times change. Literary tropes and preferences change. It helps to keep that in mind.

[lasiocampa--quercus]

For all those stuck in 2019...

I have been very reluctant to share any art / writing for — oof, five years. First because it was plain awful, then because it was not good enough. It still isn't, but as the years passed I got increasingly lonely on other social media, so this is my last resort. After I've failed smashingly here, well, I guess I'll just have to stop trying altogether.

Anyway, a first time for everything. So here's one for you.

[Detail. Scroll down (I mean to say, read the whole post) to see the full artwork]

We don't choose what we love, now, do we?

For five years I've been desperately in love with the idea of putting two brilliant characters — Eggsy from Kingsman (2015, 2017) and David from Bodyguard (2018) — into the context where they could meaningfully interact and explore one another's worlds. Such a context has been established (it is not the subject of the current post but I'd be willing to tell all about it later), resulting in their taking a shine to each other almost immediately. For Eggsy this acquaintance was something excitingly in between the two class extremes he was most accustomed to, sabotaging his life-long distaste for having anything to do with coppers. For David it was a breath of fresh air. He'd been two years well into therapy after the events covered in the series, and he was still struggling to get back on track when he met Eggsy, arch and lively, and at the same time so dashingly insightful as he was. Somehow it felt like they'd known each other for years as they talked throughout afternoons and after-work hours over a pint of lager somewhere in North London. David, usually rather inhibited, smiled and laughed at Eggsy's jokes, charmed by his candour and straightforwardness, taken aback by his astute remarks often delivered in a childlike unassuming manner. To be sure, he'd never met anyone quite like him. The prospect of friendship was an enticing one despite all their differences and despite the pressures of their jobs. While at first one was suspicious of the other's occupation (David, of course, more suspicious than Eggsy, being inherently averse to secrecy of any kind), they soon grew to respect the boundaries imposed by respective lines of duty (David was inclined to believe Eggsy's agency couldn't be that bad seeing as it employed such a brilliant lad). In effect, Eggsy trusted him more than he could ever trust any of his old mates and occasionally slipped into the conversation uncanny details of his field experiences. But best of all he liked exchanging ideas, relaying to David something that Harry had told — or taught — him, expounding on his reflections that were philosophical or even biblical in essence, although he couldn't ever say whom he unwittingly quoted. David would recognise a concept or two, but he never abashed him by mentioning the fellow's name. Over time the content of their communion had got more intimate, insomuch that Eggsy took to dedicating a huge chunk of time to moaning about his relationship with Harry which had gone on for quite a while after he split up with Tilde.

One such time, fuelled by a considerable amount of drinks, Eggsy set to illustrate the supposed reasons for Harry's recent aloofness. He clamorously hurled his jeerings and complaints at David, impinging on much-cherished privacy of the pub tables. Before it started to wear on virtually everybody in their proximity, David took his noisy, fairly plastered companion outside for a breather. The cool evening air didn't seem to have the desired effect of sobering him up a bit as Eggsy nearly blacked out after a brief (but crucial) exchange between himself and David. That occurrence prompted David to call a cab and take him to his place to recuperate. He reasoned it would not be wise to let him dart off home to Harry in such a flustered state, for it appeared as if the conflict between them was merely an ember, or rather, a heap of embers waiting to be stirred. From then on David's conduct was laced with strange acts of gracious benevolence, such as taking Eggsy's trainers off before laying him down, sleepy and a tad confused, on his sofa and leaving the keys to his flat for when he woke up and presumably wished to go home, with little trim notes strewn around telling about it, as well as where to look for aspirin if his head was giving him a hard time after the other night's drunken debauchery. At the time David didn't question his actions, although they clearly ran counter to his long-conditioned circumspection and, to a lesser extent, his vague views on male intimacy. If anything, the day when he, trying not to disturb Eggsy's healing sleep, snuck away for work he couldn't shake off a quaint feeling of invigoration which seemed to permeate his otherwise dull routine of desk duty. Later that day, confident that Eggsy had left, he got back to a startle in the form of his coyly looking, supper-serving friend with unkempt hair and a crumpled white T-shirt. Eggsy stayed not only to defer having to face Harry, but to show gratitude for David's kindness the best way he knew — by doing a kindness in return. He furnished their dinner table with a bottle of wine, promising to go easy on it and proposing a toast to David's general gemness. There they were, having another quiet night of good conversation, the homely setting and their tipsiness conducing to even more warmth and unrestraint, when Eggsy accidentally tipped over his half-emptied glass and stained his T-shirt. If one could ever be sure of such things, one would say that exact moment was the point of no return, the moment of truth. A simple, ordinary incident that tore down a facade with the light tinkle of glass as it touched the floor. From lighthearted jocularity Eggsy went on to unbosom his brooding insecurity. The change in his disposition was so thunderboltingly sudden it made David somewhat uncomfortable. It made Eggsy uncomfortable too. The only suitable course of action suggested they should comfort each other, so Eggsy placed his hand in David's. A bashful kiss ensued. Once it was reciprocated, little smiles creased their flushed faces. Both hardly had an opportunity to process what was happening, but it somehow felt ridiculously, madly right. And peaceful, too.

Well, now that all the heavy lifting is done by that snippet above we can sit back and (hopefully) enjoy this little picture depicting David and Eggsy decently progressed in their ‘comforting each other’. I must point out, however, that what you've just (hopefully) read is really only a summary, a squeeze if you will, of what transpired, produced specifically for purpose of acquainting you with the context. In actual fact the story is teeming with dialogue and detail which, with your kind permission, I would like to show you some other time.

[still-a-morosexual-help]

Remember this post where I talk about the points "for" and "against" who Nightbringer could be, with the obvious choices being Barbatos and Michael (seriously read that post, so that this post will make more sense)

Ok so more points! To be honest though, this post is less about Barbatos vs Michael and more about Demon vs Angel

1.) MC actually meets and talks with Nightbringer who says he's a demon

BUT he says it like this:

• Barbatos should know by now that MC has never had a problem trusting demons. They're literally in the situation they're in now because they gave a book that could have easily stopped him to the demon that was trying to kill them 5s ago and then pledged to protect that demon & his family and keep them happy

• Angels on the other hand do think like this. We see it from what Luke & (to a lesser extent) Raphael say. From what Lucifer says when he first meets Diavolo. From the (pretty fucked up but also lore/relationship building) angel event. Even from Simeon every once in a while.

2.) It's (probably) not present Barbatos because Nightbringer says that the new path that MC is on will bring about true happiness, whereas the path MC was already on (post s4) was already steadily moving towards what Diavolo wanted (they had a human employed in a high position in the Devildom hello???), and so was also what Barbatos wanted. I'd say it's also probably not past Barbatos (and I talk about why in the post I linked up top)

3.) Nightbringer, also tries to guide MC and get them to do what he wants because he thinks that's the best path, even when they repeatedly say they don't want this. This also feels like something an angel would do? Like demons make pacts with humans and then they have to listen and do whatever the human commands them to. Angels become guardian angels for certain humans, they're not supposed to interact with the humans but they are supposed to protect them - that sounds like there's a lot less of the human's decisions/choices/free will being taken into consideration than when in a pact with demons.

4.) Adam says he heard trumpets right before he met Nightbringer. And look it's been like over a decade since I read the Bible (so please correct me if I'm wrong) but aren't trumpets very famously associated with angels?

5.) Say we take Nightbringer's name very literally, as in Night - Bringer. And Nightbringer's little slam poetry sesh after talking with MC implies it should be taken literally. He brings darkness. And um....

??????

Now I'm not placing all my bets on Nightbringer being an angel.

There's always the possibility it's a third secret Barbatos (which I think would be very funny) or a completely different character

Right now, I'm just simply laying out all the facts that we've been presented with. Eiher way I'm excited to find out who it is (and punch him in the face. I think MC deserves to break his jaw)

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9.) Presumably-Michael says that the MC allying with Nightbringer would piss the Celestial Realm off

[maxdibert]

Actually yes if you'd call someone a misogynistic slur, even while experiencing trauma, you would be misogynistic. Because that comes from your subconcious. Severus was a victim and the reason he joined the death eaters was due to his social and economic victimization, however he was not a complete mindless idiot who didn't understand anything. He was clearly anti muggle (and although yes his prejudice was influenced by his horrible father and home he still encountered normal muggles so he didn't only have negative experiences with muggles, he could clearly see that some of them are not violent. He was an intelligent man I believe his brain could work this out.) And even when he's a big victim it doesn't mean he is entirely blameless of his words and actions and what they say about his morals. Him calling Lily a mudblood is a clear indication that he doesn't view muggleborns the same way he does other wizards and has clear prejudice. He did not only use that word once but many times - according to Lily. I'm not denying your other claims, you just seem to talk about Severus as if he wasn't an asshole who held bad views, because he was victimized. Do you think he was a good person in a bad situation? Not at all. It is fine to criticize his actions and morals while still taking into consideration that he was a victim and a lot of his decisions were a result of that.

I don't see it that way, but this is a matter of perspective. I might have internalized misogyny or internalized racism, but literally everyone has this, absolutely everyone. It's not the same as, at some point, saying a misogynistic slur to a friend in a moment when I'm about to lose my mind, versus constantly doing it. There's a difference between having a generalized attitude and letting something slip at a specific moment. And if we’re going to start categorizing people or characters based on something they say at a particular moment, then I’m sorry, but we should accuse everyone because there’s no one, absolutely no one in this society, who, even if they are very conscious and deconstructed, hasn’t made problematic comments or used harmful adjectives at some point.

I don’t deny that Severus had prejudices against Muggles, but his prejudices stem from a completely different basis than the prejudices Lucius, for example, might have had. Severus’ prejudices come from his own negative experiences with Muggles, from the fact that the Muggles he’s known were literally awful. Is it wrong for him to have prejudices against an entire population because of that? Yes, but it’s also understandable that he has them. I mean, I spend my life insulting cis-hetero men because they’re the types I have sex-affective relationships with, and I’ve had countless bad experiences with them. Could I be labeled as misandrist? Probably. Am I a bad person? I don’t think so. The problem with these issues is that people tend to see things in black and white, but real life is very diverse. You shouldn’t focus on the tree but on the forest. But well, that’s just my personal opinion.

Deep down, I’m very critical of Snape, even though it might not seem like it. What I don’t like is when people make arguments without considering the context and criminalize him without exploring the reasons for his actions. Was it wrong for him to call Lily a Mudblood? Yes, but we must take into account the context of when he did it, and the fact that it was an isolated incident, not a constant. It’s likely that what he wanted was to hurt her, just like when I call my friend a slut, and sometimes you say things to people because you know it will hurt them, not because you genuinely think that way. Anyway, I would be more critical if it were someone else, but in Lily’s case, it’s hard for me to be completely impartial because she ended up marrying an unpleasant, bullying, abusive person, and honestly, I think Severus fell short. If I had seen my supposed best friend half-smiling at my bully, I would have punched her in the face. I swear, I would have destroyed her and then publicly humiliated her, making her wish she had never been born. But as I’ve said before, I’m a very resentfully aggressive person xD.

[ilikekidsshows]

Ok. So. Maybe you can clarify something for me?

I've always had a hard time understanding Ladybug's level of self-confidence (or lack there-of), especially in Season 1. It borders on cocky at times (for example, the whole "I'm better than both of you" thing in Copycat, whistling her theme song confidently to herself in Puppeteer, generally the smug looks whenever she succeeds, etc) and I guess I have a hard time reconciling it with the Marinette who apparently doubts herself all the time (and constantly needs pep talks from Tikki, Chat Noir, Alya, Luka and etc. to function). If we especially take the movie songs into consideration, I understand her story is supposed to be about believing in oneself. But most the time this doesn't seem to be something she (at least as Ladybug) genuinely struggles with? Honestly I find her borderline arrogant at times.

....notable exceptions being the times she makes a mistake, does a complete 180 and calls herself the "worst" and requires a pep talk reaffirming her that she's the "best ladybug ever" or something similar to get going again. I guess this is where the whole "believe in yourself!" message is supposed to fit in.

So, why then, is she so self-assured otherwise? Is she confident in herself or not? Am I supposed to interpret that she's...faking the confidence? She doesn't really give me false bravado vibes, so I find this angle difficult to accept. It seems like she's genuinely impressed with herself and self-congratulatory a good chunk of the time.

The self-doubt just often feels forced to me. Like, in Stormy Weather: she's smirking confidently as she tells Chat Noir to "just follow my lead". Chronologically this is right after Origins, wherein she was apparently near crippled in fear that she couldn't do it. She just...gets over her self-doubt, near instantly, apparently? And is now a borderline arrogant girlboss?

What am I missing? I'm trying to find a better faith interpretation than just...bad writing, but I'm struggling.

---

I’m trying to remember how I interpreted this aspect of the character before the retool, and I think I saw it as another aspect of her being a coddled child. Her self-image is incredibly fragile, but she’s also getting constant consolation, support and praise so that her failures don’t really register long-term. This is why, when she messes up, she feels like it’s the first time every single time and she’s embarrassed and scared of what everyone will think of her, but, once she gets the reassurance that no one thinks badly of her, she can just brush it off like it didn’t happen, until it happens again. Children with coddling parents are very focused on what others think of them, because they’ve been raised to rely on external validation. Seeing the results of a working plan also grants her that external feedback.

The lack of confidence is also something that’s more closely tied to her life as Marinette. She never makes nightmare scenarios where she embarrasses herself in front of Adrien and has to move countries as Ladybug. This is the Spider-Man effect. As a superhero, she is anonymous, so anything she does doesn’t come to embarrass her as Marinette, which is where that smugness comes from. In the original show, Marinette barely acknowledges that she’s a superhero on the side as Marinette, because she’s separated everything about it from her day-to-day self. She feels untouchable, because she can always retreat back to being Marinette if she looks embarrassing. There’s also the fact that the Miraculous increases her physical capabilities so that she isn’t an embarrassing clutz as a hero.

There’s also another meta reason for it, however. Here’s where I remind people that Miraculous’ narrative structure is copied from elsewhere. In Miraculous, anything fantastical that happens is only relevant in how it affects the mundane aspects of our protagonist’s life, like her status in school and what the boy she likes thinks about her. This is why Gabriel can destroy the world but it’s a happy ending because Marinette gets to kiss Adrien in the end. This is actually a common aspect of the “my dear diary” sub genre of the school drama genre (like Dork Diaries). In the original book of the Princess Diary, the protagonist being a princess was only important in how it complicated her school life, with the actual princess side of things getting a lot less attention. This is also why Marinette doesn’t worry about consequences as Ladybug; it’s not narratively relevant. There’s even a writing tip about not including unnecessary details that’ll bog things down.

Here’s where my salt side comes in some more. I have repeatedly said that the Miraculous writers kind of want to have their cake and eat it too in terms of Marinette’s character. They want her simultaneously to be the greatest girlboss ever who needs no help ever, but also vulnerable so that she can win the audience’s sympathy. This is why Marinette can be downright arrogant in one moment, and a complete emotional wreck that constantly needs and gets validation in another. They want Marinette to be an admirable, competent hero, like the pop culture image of Batman, who the girls watching the show can look up to and want to roleplay as, because that’s how you sell a superhero character. However, they also want Marinette to be that pitiful social loser who never gets her way that school drama genre audiences always root for to just get a break, because that sells the protagonist in that genre. This creates a Frankenstein’s Monster of a protagonist, cobbled together from parts that don’t fit together when used this clumsily.

Astruc is a simple writing guy, he insists Miraculous as a simple show, but combining two completely different protagonists into one isn’t simple and it shows in how sloppy the result is. Because, here’s the thing: the show only has characters say things that lean into either of these presentations of Marinette, while never actually committing to them properly in what happens in the story. Marinette can say she’s better than Cat Noir and everyone can say she’s the best Ladybug ever all they want, but she’s still a complete nervous wreck when the chips are down who got the world destroyed through her incompetence. Ladybug doesn’t have many impressive accomplishments under her belt that would make her a competent hero. Similarly, the characters can act like she’s the perpetual bully victim, but that doesn’t change the fact that Marinette easily beats Chloé every single time outside of a single flashback. Marinette complains about every minor grievance she has, but almost every single character around her has worse problems and makes her look like a privileged whiner instead of someone actively suffering. Marinette doesn’t have real problems that would make her a “loser” as a character archetype.

The thing is, this type of protagonist combination can be worked with, and it is, in fact, one of the more common teen superhero archetypes. Look no further than Danny Phantom to find the perfect combination of a cool superhero and teen loser. Danny is a superhero who, while occasionally needing help, never makes the audience question his morals or competence. He's also a normal guy struggling through school life as one of the less popular kids in school who can’t seem to get the girl he likes to notice him and who never manages to improve his social standing long term, all culminating to him learning that he doesn’t have to be the most popular kid in school as long as he has real friends. He has actual fights with his friends that they need to discuss and work through instead of every conflict being resolved by him crying and being instantly forgiven. His parents are also loving but clearly don’t understand him, explaining him keeping his double life a secret from them and they often cause complications with their expectations, instead of catering to Danny's wants all the time. The only time Danny wanted to quit on something was in the grand finale, as the darkest hour moment. Danny's life is hard, but he'll still save the day.

As I said, the big problem is that the writers don’t commit to Marinette actually having a bad life that would make her a social loser as a civilian. She’s the most popular girl in school, she’s a rising star designer, she beats her bullies with ease every time, she has supportive parents who cater to her every whim, she has a great relationship with all the boys she likes and none of her friends ever get mad at her for anything. Marinette’s life is practically perfect once you actually stop to think about it instead of implanting the typical school drama mold onto her that she’s a miserable wretch who never gets enough support. You can’t even say she’s a loser as Ladybug because everyone is constantly giving her unearned praise, including herself. Every time she has a nervous breakdown, there’s people practically lining up to console her and make her feel good about her failure so that she never has to actually own up to it and grow from it.

The only thing about Marinette that makes her a “loser” is her incapability to accomplish her main goals as a protagonist, but no one in universe is meta enough to point that out. In-universe, Marinette isn’t a loser at all, even though, by all rights, she should be, because the writers are shielding her from having anything too bad happen to her. She always lies to and ghosts her friends and they are never even mildly offended. She hurts people every other episode, only to be instantly forgiven. She messes up important tasks but the people around her planned for that or coddle her through her failure. Every time she’s miserable, it’s a self-caused misery of thinking everyone will hate her and how bad she has it, and every time it gets resolved by some more consoling, validation and unearned praise.

I’ve never seen a fictional character get treated as gently as Marinette, and it’s so weird, because that’s not a trait of superhero or school drama protagonists. If anything, these two arc types both tend to have the worst of luck to get the conflict ball rolling. That’s what you get when you make the protagonist the child you thought you’d have one day; you get invested in her comfort over what makes sense as a story.

[linkspooky]

hi Spooky! I just read your meta about Gojo's motivation in the fight and you brought up interesting points.

I thought Gojo was fighting in a way that he's trying to save Megumi, because if Gojo is really trying to eliminate Sukuna for good he would go for the most fatal blow, the brain, he knows that Sukuna can still come back even without heart (lungs and liver)... so I thought Gojo is probably trying to weaken Sukuna to "make room" for Megumi. Even if his facade is "carefree", at first he already warned Sukuna that he won't hold back, he seemed worried when he realized that Megumi is the one that got hit by UV. But now I'm worried about his character growth, is it like he's decreasing? or at least he's not showing something better than the Gojo who killed Toji - teen Gojo; what happened to the Gojo that claims to protect his students' youth and who is supposed to be the "good guy" in this fight...

I still think Gojo is fighting with the belief he can revive Megumi after he takes down Sukuna, but I agree with you anon his attitude towards the fight shows his lack of growth after Toji. Not only does Gojo reference Toji a couple of times like the battle is still fresh on his mind but his emotional state resembles the way he was when he fought Toji post-awakening as the "strongest." It wasn't just a happy-go-lucky facade at that point Gojo stated in his internal narration he wasn't fighting to avenge Riko: it really was just about defeating Toji and using his newfound power to reach his full potential.

It's understandable Gojo reacted that way in the moment though. He's seventeen, and it's probably alienating to have that much power thrust on your shoulders at seventeen. However, Gojo shows a clear lack of progress since that battle. Eleven years have passed since the battle with Toji, and Gojo's kind of trapped there mentally. He's still fighting for the same reasons he fought against Toji. Those lines could be applied to how he feels via Sukuna's possession of Megumi.

"Right now I'm not angry for you. Nor do I feel vengeful toward anyone. Right now, it's just that everything feels right."

Word of god supports this: Gege was asked directly if Gojo matured after the battle with Toji, and Gege explained instead of maturing he left the decision making up to Geto.

This is pretty consistent with Gojo and Geto's foiling with one another. Geto tends to be a deeply self-reflective character almost to a fault. While I'd argue that while Gojo is known by the fandom as the more selfish one, he is oddly someone who doesn't self reflect at all.

We know far more about Geto's internal world and how he sees things because of his internal narration. Honestly, if you compare the short time he's a focus character in Hidden Inventory to the entire rest of the manga Gojo receives a lot less internal dialogue. When Gojo does have internal narration it's almost always just him strategizing for a fight. He doesn't have the same richly developed internal world that Geto has because he doesn't really think or reflect on those things. When he does give insight to himself and his belief it's almost always himself talking aloud to other people.

Which neatly dovetails into my next topic re: Gojo's tendency to mask his true emotions under a light-hearted facade. I think it's inarguable he does that, Gojo was acting happy-go-lucky in front of his students about five minutes after killing Geto. Geto commented in the beach scene in Okinawa that Gojo goofing around on the beach was his way of being considerate to Amanai, and that while pretending to be carefree he'd been exhausting himself keeping the limiitless active for days not even sleeping. Gojo even downplays the burden of that in front of Geto, the one person he allows himself to be vulernable with.

However, I don't think Gojo's tendency to mask his true emotions is because he's crying on the inside during his fight with Megumi and at some point he's going to have an emotional breakdown over it. That interpretation I think comes from the fandom's tendency to woobify Gojo because they want to make him a more relatable and easy to understand character when Gojo is supposed to be alienating and off-putting.

He's an exploration of what being the strongest would due to a person's mind, and how much that would alienate a person from the people around him. Gojo's defined by his inability to relate to others, especially the people he finds as weak so it only makes sense he'd process his emotions in a way that's different from most people.

If people learn and grow and change by their interaction with others, then Gojo who's very cursed technique itself makes it so nobody can ever touch him unless he wants them too does not interact with others and therefore does not change.

It's interesting if you look at things from a budhhist perspective, because there are heavy themes of budhism present in the text of JJK itself. Let's say that Gojo attained enlightenment at seventeen. If he's already enlightened then why would he need to grow any more past that point? The ultimate goal of budhism is to escape the cycle of karma entirely, so from that perspective Gojo untethering himself from the world and earthly concerns and other people is his ideal endpoint.

On the other hand Gojo is like a person living in the world - he eats takeout, goes out drinking with his friends, has a job, pays his taxes. He didn't escape life and worldly concerns, because life went on, he's still living in the world and eleven years has passed since the moment he "attained enlightenment."

If he's already enlightened then he shouldn't need to grow, but considering hes still living in the world you need to grow and change with the world and people around you otherwise you're going to be left behind.

From what we've seen in canon Gojo changed a little bit. His ideals changed in the fact he adopted Geto's sense of responsibility and judgement of good and evil. He also witnessed Geto's fall and lost his friendship which is clearly what influences his current beliefs on wanting to protect the childhood of sorcerers, and that there's something rotten about the Jujutsu Society surrounding him.

I don't mean to say that every change in Gojo's life comes from Geto, but rather Gojo's current sense of beliefs are based around what happened to him in his youth. He wants to protect children because his youth was ruined. If Geto never fell and became a curse user would Gojo see anything wrong with the current system worth rebelling over?

Put better in another better meta here.

Still, my point is that... Gojo simply never cared enough about things like ideology. [...] He tried to internalize Geto’s original values of protecting the weak since he could sense some merit to them, finding joy in entertaining Riko and later his students, but he completely missed the reasoning behind those values. This is why he spouted all those things about not saving/reaching Geto (without having attempted it in the first place) and about becoming a teacher to prevent young sorcerers from missing out on their youth (immediately going to indoctrinate young Megumi into their messed up system as a pretext of saving him from the Zenins. [...] The only way he can empathize with them is by remembering what he himself enjoyed in his youth, that being companionship with his bff and his growing power. And when some of them don’t show interest in that (like poor fucking Megumi) Gojo is simply not interested in exploring alternatives.  To him, it’s not a question of ‘why’, it never was.

Gojo is extreemly self-oriented in all the good and bad that entails. Good because it makes him an extremely strong, and self confident individual that allows him to pursue those ideals (and his ideals are still pretty good) bad because he easily loses sight of other people's feelings.

A gojo who truly changed after the fight with Toji would have reached out to Megumi in an attempt to break the cycle that started with the Zen'ins abuse of TOji. A true example of being the bigger man by going out of his way to help the son of a man who in a lot of ways caused permanent damage to his life and the people around him.

However, that's blatantly not what Gojo did. Once again we have Word of God on this.

Gojo hasn't matured past his mindset of seeing people in terms of "strong and weak" and as a natural extension of that he tends to treat the same kids he's trying to help as assets so he's not living up to his desire to be the responsible adult in their lives. Because he's not really an adult. His growth stopped in the fight with Toji.

Gojo's solution to the problem of Jujutsu Society's use of child soldiers and treating children as expendable is... to create stronger child soldiers. I don't think Gojo does this maliciously, it's just he has no self-awareness whatsoever. He is Jujutsu Society's ideal and constantly praised as such and because of that can't see the flaws in his own ideology and actions. That's also the way Gojo was raised, pushed to be the strongest and to build his entire life and self-worth around being the strongest he can be. People who lack self-awareness tend to unsconiously recreate the circumstances under which they were raised because it's familiar to them. Do unto others what was done unto you.

To return to my original topic though Gojo has a tendency to make his true emotions but I don't think it's done because he's secretly crying on the inside.

I think Gojo's complete lack of reaction to Nanami's death was his genuine reaction. He's not putting on a brave face or anything. He probably does care that Nanami died, but this is just how Gojo processes his emotions. I also think there's a couple of times where Gojo is disturbed during the fight against Megumi such as when Sukuna used Megumi as a shield for the limitless, but at the same time he's clearly having the time of his life with this fight.

I don't think he's faking that. He shouldn't really be enjoying this battle because there are simply more important things right now than whether or not Gojo finally gets to have fun in a fight and be challenged against someone who's his equal - but apparently Gojo didn't get that memo.

Gojo is probably masking his emotions to some extent, but there's a difference between text (what is stated) and subtext (what is not stated and instead relies on reader interpretation). Gojo visibly enjoying himself in the fight is direct text. Gojo announces out loud that he has no problem beating up Megumi, the narration tells us that Gojo is feeling deeply satisfied with this fight.

While characters do sometimes hide their feelings and lie, and narrators are sometimes reliable, subtext is still an interpretation and it doesn't trump what is directly stated by the work.

The text has already told us directly that number one Gojo doesn't feel any hesitation to fight Megumi, and number two Gojo's first priority is winning and his second priority is worrying about Megumi.

Anything that contradicts that is fandom interpretation of the text. I don't think Gege is trying to pull a fast one or unreliable narrator trick here. Gege has always been blatantly honest about Gojo's flaws as a character, hence why I constantly cite his responses in interviews.

I think it's Gege's intention here to show us how Gojo's priorities are eschewed. You can make an argument that Gojo has to worry about defeating Sukuna first above everything else because of utiliarian reasons. If he loses here then everyone else dies. He may have to sacrifice Megumi to stop Sukuna from killing anyone else.

However, those utilitarian reasons are in direct opposition to Gojo's ideals. Gojo wants to create a world where children aren't sacrificed for the common good. In Gojo's ideals chidlren shouldn't be sarificed for adults, but rather it's adults who should protect children so they can live out their youths. If Gojo fails to protect Megumi here he's going back on everything he supposedly stands for.

So while you can make an argument pragmatically Gojo has to worry about winning the fight first. Idealistically he should be fighting to save Megumi, not to win against Sukuna. However, he's not doing that. By having him care more about the fight itself then Megumi, it shows that Gojo's pragmatism often is in conflict with his own idealism. Which is something we've always known about his character. He wants to help kids but at the same time he's using them as tools to further his own agenda.

Again a lot of Gojo's flaws arise from his own lack of self-awareness. Gojo does conceal his own emotions a lot, but I don't think he's hiding a crying child inside. Instead it's more like he's so alienated from both the people around him and his own emotions that he can't process them or self reflect.

Gojo is blind in a lot of ways, like it's made clear by Shoko that Gojo's isolation doesn't just come from being the strongest. There are people around him actively trying to connect with him and Gojo just kind of ignores them because he's too caught up in the idea that only someone like Geto who was as strong as he was could ever understand him.

Gojo doesn't show his own emotions or make deep emotional connections with others because he probably doesn't understand those emotions himself. He's not only alienated himself from the people around him, but he's alienated himself from his own feelings to such an extent that even when he does care it's difficult for him to show it.

[friendly-stardust]

These incompetent showrunners really went in for the kill with Aegon II's character assassination

I know this has been said over and over again already but I am actually truly amazed at how far the showrunners/writers went to completely assassinate Aegon's character to make sure that he is portrayed in the worst possible way. As this has already been highlighted numerous times, he is characterised even worse than Mushroom's degenerate description of him in Fire and Blood. They really went as far as presenting us with a caricature, a monstrosity that cannot be believable to be human.

This claim of wanting to make a grey character out of this mustache-twirling villain stereotype they have created to put up against a heroic Disney princess, is just an insult to audiences who came in to watch an actual intelligent and well-written show.

I have never seen such blatant character assassination disguised as some profound creation of a grey character.

In this inconsistent fanfiction seemingly made for the glorification of Saint Perfect Girlboss Rhaenyra, her direct foil and opponent Aegon II is made to be:

A sexual deviant, masturbating out of a widow in his teenage years, and maybe a pedophile (with that ridiculous sentence from the Brothel Madam in the horrendous episode 9).

A bully, mercilessly bullying his younger brother  Aemond.

A rapist, of course! How best to destroy a male character in this day and age if not by making him an obvious rapist! And then they want to talk about complex characterisation? LOL! Sara Hess knew what she was doing here.

Of course, a sadist who enjoys watching brutal children's fights (also including his own bastards) in a pit - the epitome of a laughingly cringe tentative to paint a character as the ultimate villain.  

An abusive husband to his sister-wife, obviously! let's just pile on, shall we, even when nothing in the text in F&B suggests or supports any such claim.

A coward, willing to abandon his family and his dragon (his pride) to sail away and hide, leaving them at the mercy of Daemon and Rhaenyra's whims and wishes - the complete opposite of his character in F&B!

A great work of destruction indeed!  All of these are just blatant and obvious willingness from these showrunners/writers to obliterate his characterisation in order to prop up Saint Girlboss Rhaenyra, but nothing makes my blood boil more than the multiple sexual deviances (the abject rapist characterisation being the worst offender), and the implied abusive relationship with Haleana they completely created in order to drive home how awful Aegon is supposed to be seen as opposed to the complete whitewashed version of their favorite girlboss. Maybe next season, Aegon will be shown to be someone who loves torturing puppies, who knows?

And even when the actor TGC made his concern well known, those amateurish writers just brushed it aside, while someone who is on record for saying that she has not even bothered to watch Game of Thrones (the incompetent Sara Hess) decided to tarnish and destroy his character even more by claiming to want to make it more like GoT. Absolute joke this one!

I just recently read something about how Jesse Amstrong (Succession) listened to Arian Moayed (playing Stewy Hosseini) and respected his decision to not be depicted as a typical bad representation of Iranians in Western media and this just made me realise even more how inept HotD showrunners/writers are at taking into consideration valid concerns from one of their own actors.

Overall, HotD has just been a massive disappointment on the writing side. The writing is cringe and horrendous, making it just an expensive CW-level show with a bigger budget. A huge letdown and an absolute travesty of the book characters.

[cleromancy]

still thinking about (always fucking thinking about) what i posted here, on mia's explicit on-page murder vs. jason and felipe and how it's treated both by ollie and bruce respectively, and also by their respective *narratives*.

one of the things i loved about winicks ga/ga&bc run in general was like. it was so uninterested in punishment. when someone did something harmful the emphasis was on the consequences--material and emotional--rather than issues of Right vs Wrong. it focused on who was hurt, where to go from there, how to fix it, and i found that especially 🥺 when it came to mia killing.

because the reaction is so compassionate to her. like, no one is like shaking their finger at mia like You Did A Bad Thing, it's like ollie and dinah *both* immediately are horrified by the fact that she's going to have to live with this for the rest of her life and moreover that ollie put her in that position in the first place.

i already posted these panels but. look again.

and mia and jason as characters were in conversation with each other from the instant mia started being built up to be the 2nd speedy--the same way roy and dick were always in conversation with each other (because everyone knows the REAL second robin was the first speedy). and doubly so when winick took over and tweaked her backstory so she was also homeless. (gonna make a post on the HIV development at some point and how starlin openly talked about wanting to give robin AIDS...)

but like. look

vs

*Jason* couldn't handle it so now *i* can't keep him as my partner compared to. the blame falling directly, and rightly, on ollie for putting mia in that position in the first place... *and* this is the arc preceding the one where mia actually takes the speedy mantle! she wasn't speedy yet! she killed someone on her test run! and she still becomes speedy! and she does a fucking phenomenal job as speedy! tied for first fucking place if you ask me and roys my most favoritest and specialest guy!

and like. god. they don't linger on whether or not mia was wrong to kill that man. ollie clearly thinks there was another way, but he's not going to drill that into mias head, unlike someone else we could name, *bruce.*

"consequences, robin, such as me accidentally crushing a man to death by climbing a teetering stack of cars like a moron. for some reason i am heavily implying that this is your fault."

like ... come *on.*

and yknow. a lot of this is just that starlin was a fucking hack. but what we have here is still that bruce would rather bash jason over the head with moral lessons than ever give more than a cursory consideration to how hes fucking feeling.

(which is also, btw, such a stark change from how bruce still was in the contemporaneous tec run or even the batman run directly preceding it where when bruce screws up by not telling jason willis was (probably) dead, he admits he screwed up and apologizes. like, its such a tangible, jarring shift from bruce being a flawed but loving dad into whatever the hell this is. --lets not start on wolfman here because he did a better job than starlin, not that thats a high bar. im not opposed to the bad mentor/dad bruce character development *in principle*, its about the execution.)

but yeah, like, just the way like... its about who put mia in that situation. its about how jason just wasn't good enough. its about how mia gets to keep trying to be a hero. its about how jason is benched (<- he was supposed to stay home in 425; officially benched in 426). its about how it didn't matter whether or not jason killed felipe, because jason "couldn't handle it." its about how it mattered that mia killed someone, because she shouldn't have ever been put in a situation where she felt like she had to.

the discourse about ga 69-72 is always so tedious and always so thoroughly misses the damb point. but putting aside the whole like yes yes naughty jason he shouldn't have done it or at least shouldn't have done it like he did it--namely scaring the ever-loving crap out of her--what happened was jason came to her while she was in uniform (<- NOT EVEN KNOWING ABOUT THE MURDER!! HE DIDNT EVEN KNOW!!!) and among other things that was him going, i'm like you, what happened to me could happen to you, and she said i'm nothing like you and it won't, and he said, are you sure.

but when it comes down to it if mia died and came back and set up an elaborate murderous rube goldberg machine scheme to get to ollie it wouldn't work because the first damn thing ollie would do when he saw her would be to give her a famous arrowfam hug and blubber all over her. and. i mean. come on, the jokers ass would be grass, you know it i know it, ollie would have rather caused a diplomatic incident or whatever the fuck than let the man who killed his kid live. (<- i say kid over daughter deliberately btw. genuinely don't think mia was in the market for another dad after the first one. ollies still her family, shes still his kid, thats how it is. i probably wouldn't be so inflexible about this if fandom wasnt fucking obnoxious about insisting that she *is* and *must be* his daughter, but they are so i am.)

anywayyyyyyyy speedy sweep! wahoo

[travelingtwentysomething]

NYONG’O: Yes. I remember when we were shooting, you whispered to me that you were up for this thing. I loved how honest you were about wanting it. And then you got it!

QUINN: Yes. Well, it was a very quick process. I was up for it for a week, and then within two weeks I had it. But that’s the thing, sometimes you’re wanting to be a part of an experience, and there’s something about it that you just want to–I hate using the word “explore,” but explore.

NYONG’O: Why do you hate using the word?

QUINN: I think it’s a little pompous. 

NYONG’O: Interesting. You’re allergic to grandiosity.

QUINN: Can’t do it. Well, because with acting, the medium is insular. With music, you’re playing an instrument. With art, you’re painting or you are sculpting something. The thing you’re being creative with when you’re acting is yourself, so it’s inherently self-indulgent. You must indulge yourself to express yourself. But if you’re kind of shining a light on it and saying, “Look at all the work I’ve done,” that just distracts me. I find it very hard to talk about it myself.

NYONG’O: I feel the same way with talking about my process. In fact, I’ve made some mistakes and talked about it more than I should have, and I’ve regretted it. It takes away the magic. Do you feel that way about your process?

QUINN: I don’t have one.

NYONG’O: What do you mean? You don’t have a process? Liar.

QUINN: I don’t have one.

NYONG’O: Are you serious?

QUINN: I don’t have a thing that I do, no.

NYONG’O: What are you talking about?

QUINN: What am I talking about? I don’t have a list of things that I have to do to access a character. It’s just consideration. It’s reading it a few times. Every role requires a different route in, but I don’t have a process.

NYONG’O: You don’t have some touch points that you find yourself getting to?

QUINN: There are stages, definitely. I suppose that is a good way of referring to it. It feels like it’s cooking, like it’s in a place where I can present it and not feel overwhelmed by insecurity. But I don’t have a process or a way of approaching characters.

NYONG’O: I am fascinated by this response.

QUINN: Why?

[odusseus-xvi]

Wanted to talk about q!Forever and his presidency seen from the pov of someone who mostly experience it from outside percepctive as I'm incapable of understanding Brazilian. SAYING IT RIGHT NOW I'm not here to say q!Forever is wrong or evil (as I'm convinced he is not, no need to come and tell me), this is not what's it's about, this is about how lost he seems when you are looking from the exterior.

So I know drama is brewing because people are fighting over who's right and who's an evil virus of satan, and I don't care, I'm not interested in this. I want to talk about the characters I love, because I love q!Forever, and his story makes me so sad.

I want to explain to those who wouldn't know, I'm a mostly french viewers, I follow Etoiles, Baghz, Antoine, Aypierre and Phil (mostly, I try to follow everyone's storyline and povs), the last two are not important here as Philza doesn't interact with the president storyline at all and Aypierre's involvement can be resumed to "I don't care who's in power and what they do, I'll be nice to them because I want power". But basically what the Forever Presidency feels like is not evil, or corrupted, it feels WEIRD :

Because obviously he is kindhearted, he has saved the eggs multiple times, he has done a lot for the island, and has said multiple times he wants to help everyone, and I believe that. But then in some of his actions and speeches, there is so much stuff that we are weirded out about. First how he told Baghera how he wanted to make everyone vote etc. That's okay, but like she said herself "Well that was my campaign idea..." And that's true, and that was also a thing Him and Cellbit used as way to descend her campaign, so that felt like a light knife in the back. But that's the least worrying thing.

There was then the whole deal where from what I understood he felt betrayed by Baghera and Bad as they didn't share everything and witheld information. And from Baghz pov that felt like it came out of nowhere because... Well she didn't ! That was simply miscommunication. And ensued the whole deal where he talked about how he felt about the arrival of the new people, and how he didn't trust them and didn't want to help them unless they had an egg. That was a weird thing in itself, he is supposed to be the president of the island and he is the one least willing to welcome new people.

There was also the nerfing armor stuff. At first we thought he said that as a joke you know, he is just not saying no to Quackity because that'd be rude. But who in their right mind would do that right ? Right... ? And then yestedray he asks Etoiles to do a debate with Quackity to discuss it and everyone went "Wait, he's actually considering it ?" And that was weird because... Well Forever spends most of his time in his base. Isolated. And when you watch Etoiles you know that even with the strongest suit of armor in the game you CAN die everyday. Is... Is Forever asking for a death sentence ? Has he been living under a rock ?

The last thing was yesterday, when Etoiles wanted to ask him a few things, he arrived when Forever was having a secret discussion with Cucurucho, and he ordered the construction of a prison he would have access to. And THAT was so WEIRD, everyone in chat and in reaction were like "WHAT !!??? WH... WHY ??", and then followed by "could I have a gun to defend myself ?" and everyone went "Oh. He... He doesn't trust us !!!", Etoiles himself went *raises eyebrow*. There is something REALLY going bad with q!Forever. And then he immediatly follows by taking in consideration Etoiles' request to allow Dark Metal for his fight against the code, so he's not evil, he's not corrupted... And that's where I realised what it felt like, it feels like he is lost.

It seems he want to do good, but takes weird unnecessary decisions after weird unnecessary decisions that in most cases fucks over other islanders more than it helps, and the important thing to remember is that he is not doing that purposefully, again it seems he is lost, it feels like he doesn't know what he is doing, because of that people are more wary of him, and it leads him to become more paranoïd and he makes even more bad decisions, wich leads to more people being wary of him and it creates a vicious feedback loop that constantly raises the tension. (also having the big PRESIDENT sign next to his name creates an epidermic reaction in every french that makes us want a revolution /j) And it's so sad because the only exit I can see is for the tension to be released in an explosion, a revolution, and THAT could be interesting because for once neither side is truly evil per say. They can be misguided, but not outright evil. Like Baghera said herself "I... I don't understand where he is going."

What's terrifying is what we foresaw with the election is happening, the islanders are driving themselves apart and turning against each other. I don't think the Federation wants to avoid a revolution, I'm pretty sure they would be rooting for it.

(HOWEVER next time I see someone saying q!Forever is this perfect little guy that did nothing wrong... PLEASE. The guy was vicious during the election arc. With how much misinformation he spread on Etoiles most notably.)

[awinterrosesstuff]

Hiruzen Sarutobi... or the character that confuses me the most. I don't know what to make of him. Let me explay you why.

When we're introduced to him, he's pretty old, wise and powerful. He even seens nice. He is amused by Naruto's antics. You want to sympathise with him. And honestly why not ? There are things that infuriate me during the chunin exams (the fact it even exists). Then you have his ending. It's executed very well. I did find it badass. You see his regrets, his weaknesses (with Orochimaru), his summon clearly tells him he's weak or pathetic (I can't remember the word) but he does the sacrifice. You can see it's very difficult for him, he struggles a lot. During the chunin exams, we get to see how scary Orochimaru is. Everything is made to show that Hiruzen was very powerful in his days and became weak with getting old. But still, he does his best and makes the sacrifice with the hope of a better future. Plus the fight between Gaara and Naruto does a great work as a parallel of this one.

It's actually interesting to see that even if Hiruzen can be powerful and brave, he can be very weak and a coward in so many ways. You do see it with Orochimaru, but also with how he let Danzo do whatever he wants, and how he let the villagers and everyone in Konoha treats Naruto like shit. It doesn't show him in a positive way obviously, but it makes him interesting, even human I'd say. But I have a main beef with him or the way he's written.

I think his role is never properly adressed in everything that went wrong in Konoha. Danzo and Orochimaru are treated as the villains they are. The narrative put the blame on Danzo for the Uchiha massacre - as it needed. But it kind of forgets Hiruzen in the process.

Sasuke, when he ressurects the kages with Orochimaru's help, questions him. And he's fucking right to do it. Why did the hokage let the massacre happen ? We're said that Danzo ordered the massacre and manipulated Itachi in doing it. But what about Hiruzen ? We get to learn that he wanted a diplomatic solution, but never had the occasion to find it. Is it because he didn't really bother or because Danzo didn't take his decision in consideration ? Probably a bit of both. But why did Danzo have such power in the first place ? Because Hiruzen is a coward. That's it. But the narrative doesn't really blame him, as if he's supposed to be the good "guy". We even have Minato put the blame on himself. And I was like "what ?". Minato has faults, that's not the subject. But the massacre happened because Hiruzen didn't do his job (protecting his villagers). I would have prefered if Hiruzen was clearly blamed for it. And it's actually insulting for Sasuke who is just there to be honest.

I'd like to add Hiruzen letting Danzo do everything he wanted (like having his fucking army) did cause problems to other problems. Kabuto and Sai come to mind.

I want to talk about Naruto. It's never (but really never) adressed that Hiruzen failed Naruto. The boy was ostracised because he was the host of Kurama... and what did Hiruzen do ? I'm not saying he should have adopted him... but he could have done more (like finding him a family). And the secret was obviously revealed, or no adult would know Naruto had Kurama sealed in him. Hiruzen was the one with the power there, he could have done something more. Well, what really bothers me is the fact that it's not said that Hiruzen failed to keep his promise and to protect Naruto, the jinchuriki of his village. Naruto never had the opportunity to do. He's angry against the villagers, but never the hokage. And I do find it weird. The narrative could have so easily done it. It would have even been better for Naruto's dream.

He wants to be hokage to protect his friends, and his village. That's great. But imagine if Naruto said something like "I will find ways to be better than Hiruzen. I don't want the children to be treated like they were during his time". It could have been a parallel to his resolve at the ending of Zabuza arc when he says he wants to find his nindo and be the ninja he wants (not the other way around). It's badly written, but do you get the message ?

Anyway... I do believe Hiruzen could be a great character if he wasn't praised so much in the manga. And I hope I made my opinion clear with this post.

[half-dead-writer]

https://www.tumblr.com/half-dead-writer/765380870575161344/do-we-fuck-with-patelgraves-patelgraves-frotting?source=share

me again, i didnt think far enough ahead and i didnt expect a reply uh, do whatever you please with the prompt i guess :3 i read the rules after and realised its an x reader only blog so you can have it x reader too if you want i got too silly and let the demons win by asking im sorry LMAO

At first I was writing my own thing but realized it would fit to Anon's ask sooo here you go! Gideon's relationship with Julie is up for reader's interpretation whether he's not dating her, in an open relationship, or maybe even cheating on her if you're into that who am I to tell u?? one important thing tho is that it's NOT supposed to be a non-con fic - they all CONSENT, they wanna fuck each other aight?? Both Matthew and Y/N probably had some sus moments with Gideon previously but now since they're in a relationship there was never any talk of "hey um actually have u ever considered dating Gideon too??" simply cuz the topic never came and not like either of em had the guts to admit they think Gideon is hot this was supposed to be just a hot scenario of all of you three fucking after doing something risky but I took into consideration Gideon's character (also included the part about cameras only because I think it'd be in his style to do so) and how serious the situation would be IRL - HOWEVER, this is fiction, and aside acknowledging the possibility of Gideon blackmailing you, I wouldn't even call it dubcon. If Matthew or the reader refused, I didn't intend to write Gideon who would actually proceed with the blackmailing, it would just be an awkward situation for all of you. Fortunately it isn't! well now that's out of the way enjoy the self indulgence

It's Worth The Risk (NSFW)

You got invited to Gideon's party, you and Matthew get frisky in the middle of it, Gideon catches you, spontaneous threesome happens

characters: Matthew Patel, Gideon Graves (Scott Pilgrim Takes Off)

words: ~8,2k

reader: gender-neutral

warnings: brief degradation kink mentioned, drunk sex, being walked in on, voyeurism (?), public sex, overstimulation, crack treated seriously?? no beta

𝔯𝔲𝔩𝔢𝔰 + 𝔪𝔞𝔰𝔱𝔢𝔯𝔩𝔦𝔰𝔱 / 𝔖𝔠𝔬𝔱𝔱 𝔓𝔦𝔩𝔤𝔯𝔦𝔪 𝔗𝔞𝔨𝔢𝔰 𝔒𝔣𝔣 𝔪𝔞𝔰𝔱𝔢𝔯𝔩𝔦𝔰𝔱

A few years of working for Gideon brought you many things. Mostly money, but also a lot of time to teach yourself how to be patient, even at the worst moments. Being his assistant, you were by his side almost 24/7, you were pretty sure you knew him better than most people, saw him in his glory days and even when he fell down from grace as Matthew took everything away from him. Seeing Gideon lose all of his possessions was pretty shocking, especially when you got to witness your boss hanging from the rooftop, being overpowered by a man he used to call weak. Even though their combat happened mostly out of your sight, them fighting all over the facility and all, you couldn't deny worries began to flood your head the moment Matthew dared to challenge him. Gideon, used to being the one in charge, didn't even think of a potential loss from his side. He underestimated the odds, and suddenly he was left with nothing in the span of a few minutes.

Even though Gideon was a professional asshole, you didn't know what to expect from Matthew Patel. He probably wouldn't be as much of a menace as Gideon, but still, your boss changing was not something you expected. After just a few days, you noticed how clueless Matthew was as a CEO. He obviously didn't have the experience and it showed with how much money he lost in a single day. Given no choice, he reluctantly had to ask you for some guidance. Seeing him lowering to your level gave you much more confidence, which helped your overall image of him. He wasn't a big, scary boss anymore, but something of an acquaintance. The acquaintance status soon changed to a friend, and then a friend changed to a boyfriend.

Fast forward to today, your life turned out to be pretty great. Instead of being an assistant, having to tolerate Gideon's antics all day, your only duty was to be a stay-at-home-partner for Matthew, who was now a Broadway star. Aside of him having to leave on tours, you were pretty happy.

★ ★ ★

Receiving a letter with both your and Matthew's name on it would not be so shocking if it wasn't from the Gideon himself. He had invited you both on a party, something about all exes gathering together and just having a good time at his headquarters. He already went thru the trouble of getting back all of his empire from Matthew legally, but he had to make a point, throwing a big get-together to show them all of his regained power under the pretext of wanting to catch up. You acknowledged Gideon was a big part of your life, even if nowadays he was just a mere face on countless posters and magazines. It was pretty surprising when he seemingly confirmed to have the same opinion about you, bothering to include you along with Matthew in the invitation. Perhaps he allowed all of the exes to bring a plus one to the event?

Turns out, he didn't.

Arriving at the place in your nicest outfits, neither you nor Matthew noticed anyone else along with the other exes. Perhaps Gideon just had the courtesy to invite his former assistant due to all the years you worked for him, as much as it was out of character for him. You didn't have a reason to complain, even if Gideon wanted to flaunt with all his possessions, who were you to turn down free food and booze?

Although it was a bit awkward at first, the party was a nice change of pace. Happening in the Chaos Theater, it had all the necessities needed for a party. A big, open dancefloor, a barman, loud music and couple of electric faces. You were thankful he didn't go as far as to include a cage dancer into the package, knowing it was a regular occurence from your time as a worker in G-Man's media. Both you and Matthew had to agree - it was a good time. Especially when the alcohol began to properly course through your veins. Seeing Matthew on the dancefloor was probably the highlight of your day, he was in his element, even if other exes had a good laugh about his (more than charming to you) moves.

Exhausted from all the dancing and having too many drinks, you had to remove yourself for a moment, disappearing into the bathroom after giving Matthew a quick heads up about your whereabouts. He nodded, choosing to occupy a free space on the nearby couch as he waited for your return. Seeing the party bustling with life, he was far from being bored of it yet, but the slowly rising buildup in his abdomen was getting really distracting. He should've foreseen this would happen.

Due to Matthew's recent musical hit, your relationship didn't have much time for any intimate moments. Of course, previously, that didn't bother him, the importance of his plays overshadowed any need for sexual release, he simply paid no mind it. Unfortunately, the drinks seemed to bring these nasty thoughts out and he feared his body would soon start to betray him.

He really didn't wanna think about it. The night was going great, he didn't wanna ruin it by being a perv. Subconsciously beginning to tap his foot, his mind raced with every possible thing to distract himself with. Work. Musicals. Anything that would still entertain him while staying as far away from the topic as possible. Unfortunately, nothing worked. All of the thoughts just seemed... annoying. Curse his undignified body for forcing him to go through this embarrassment.

Having enough time to think over his options, he finally deducted - he had to talk to you. Yes, it was embarrassing, but he trusted you. The night was still young, but perhaps he'd be able to convince you to go back home, as rude as it would be to the other guests. He mentally blamed himself for having such a low alcohol tolerance. He really wanted to be focused on the party and everything else going on, but the itch inside persisted with determination. He had to get himself together.

Scanning the crowd, your figure managed to hit his eyes just before you emerged from the corridor leading from the bathroom. He approached quickly, pulling you gently onto the side, hidden from the other guests. What was he even gonna say? He looked at you with something akin to fear, gaining a worried head tilt in response.

"Is something wrong?" You asked, fully taking into consideration the way his brows furrowed with anxiety. It was unlike him.

"Um... actually, yeah." He avoided your piercing gaze, uncomfortably scratching the back of his neck. He balanced his weight on his foot, swinging on one side as he tried to push out his next words. His stare bored onto the wall before him, as if looking for the answer that would magically form in it.

"You know how... we- we didn't really do anything, uh, in bed, recently?" He muttered out at just enough volume for you to hear him.

"...Yeah?" You questioned further, cocking your brow.

"I'm- I-" He stuttered, the words just refused to eloquently be put into a clear sentence, "I would- really wanna go home, and... D-Do something about it. Like right now."

You stare added even less confidence to his already tipped off nerves, feeling as if he was just caught robbing a bank, and the surprised chuckle hitting his ears after was just the cherry on top. He was about to sputter more explanatory rambles until he was cut off by the gentle tone of your voice.

"My plan was to throw myself at you right after we arrived home after the party, so I get what you mean." You smiled, amused at the red that coated his cheeks after his confession. "But the party just started-"

"I- I know!" He exclaimed in annoyance, clenching his fists, embarrassed and under the impression you didn't take his words seriously. "But you just look so pretty tonight, and I don't want the others laughing at me when I can't control what my own body does!" He softened his features after a moment, they were harshened by the scrunch of shame on his face.

Tapping his foot as a way to calm himself down, he continued. "It's embarrassing." He muttered, the sentence feeling wrong on his tongue. "I feel like a damn teenager."

"Okay, okay, calm down," you took his face into your hands, reassuring him. "Let me think."

You couldn't deny, you were in a similar situation, but the urge wasn't as strong as Matthew's. You did your best to occupy yourself and wait for the main event later. But now, your boyfriend coming up to you with such a request pushed your lust up to the surface, and you couldn't ignore the thought of doing something right this moment seemed very appealing. Taking a second to respond, you thought of all the possible solutions in your mind. The party was blooming, catching up with the rest of the exes was fun, especially when their personalities shined more with the alcohol added into the mix. You didn't wanna leave yet, but you also didn't wanna go home, you probably wouldn't have the strength to come back, and it would be hard for you to explain your momentary disappearance.

Pouting your lip, you hummed in thought. You knew what you were gonna say was a stupid idea, but you decided to do it anyway. It was worth to get a second opinion.

"...What if we'd be quick about it?"

Matthew's face contorted into shock right after he heard you. "What?" He had to ask, the reply seemed too outrageous to be serious. "Here??"

The bashfulness soon overtook your face, smiling with just a bit of shyness after being met with such a response. "...Yeah. I- kinda wondered how it'd be like." You felt the need to clarify.

"B- But- Won't the others be wondering where we are??" He struggled to keep his composure, his eyes still conveying the everpresent nervousness, yet now also showing something else. Spark of interest, maybe?

"Not if we hurry up. Then we'll say I was getting you some fresh air after you got sick from the alcohol." You made your plan on the spot, an easy excuse.

"Wait, why would I be sick so soon?" He said before fully processing his question. Your look made him quickly rethink your idea. It's true, if anyone at the party were to be sick at the start of it, it would be Matthew. Sighing, he had to agree with you. "Okay, maybe that would work. B-But where...?"

"Hm... The bathroom seems too risky. Someone could come in." Instinctively, you looked both ways, expecting someone to ruin your perfect plan. Thankfully the corridor was still empty and quiet in contrast to the muffled music coming from the end of it.

"...What if we searched for some private room?" Matthew suggested meekly. "Gideon has some of those, right? I saw them... I never knew why does he need so many rooms when he only uses half of them. It just makes the place look bigger than it actually is." He thought, recalling his brief as a CEO.

"No, he keeps them closed," you disappointingly brought up the fact you remembered from working as Gideon's assistant. "But... He doesn't lock his office."

Matthew tilted his head in disbelief. "Really?"

You nodded. "Yeah. I don't really know why, but I've seen him leave it open. He doesn't bother to close them, I always had to do it for him."

"Well- If you think that's a good idea..." He looked around, freshly filled with anticipation. Even though it was a very stupid idea, one that could backfire very easily, you ignored the possible repercussions, mind clouded with adolescent-like excitement of doing something risky.

Taking Matthew's hand, you tried to refresh your memory of a path to Gideon's office. You knew the way pretty well, being forced to go through it everyday back when it was your job to do so. Would it really be so easy? Or would Gideon add to your misfortune by locking the doors on this particular night? Thinking about it, you hardly seen him mingling at the party. He was there for sure, you caught some glimpses of him interacting with other people, but somehow, you and Matthew haven't spoken to him since you entered the building. You really hoped he wouldn't be standing in the doorway, just waiting for you to make the wrong move and enter the room. You decided to blame it on the alcohol paranoia for both of your sake. Even if he did catch you, you could think up some sort of excuse, right? Reaching your hand towards the doorknob, your question was about to be answered.

And... The doors let out a satisfying click. No Gideon in sight upon letting the doors part even more. Sighing with relief, you entered the room. Matthew looked around, familiar with the place. He switched on the lamp laying on Gideon's desk. It provided a dim light, perfect for staying inconspicuous. It shouldn't be as visible from under the doors.

Matthew's sight remained on you, searching for further instructions. He wanted to do everything and nothing at all, the intensity of the situation getting to him. He was nervous, but his mind begged to finally touch you. Deciding to take matters into your own hands, you approached closer, started the fun with a kiss, pressing your lips into him with a hurry in your movements. You had to be quick, after all.

Matthew's muffled moan at the sudden speed sounded beautiful, only fueling your need to have him. He got lightly pressed into a wall, your hand brushed over his chest, feeling it rise and fall rapidly. His hands grabbed your hips, eagerly wanting to feel more of you. No matter where. His touch felt electric, the alcohol only intensified the already steamy moment. Nothing mattered, not even the possibility of being caught, fully covered by the way Matthew's lips felt on yours. It was a thrilling experience, as selfish as it was.

The passionate kisses soon turned into a clumsy dance of tongues, the hesitant yet desperate touches replaced by the need to feel the skin hiding under the fabric of your clothes. The way Matthew squirmed with each brush of your fingers on his bare stomach was intoxicating, even more than the alcohol. It didn't take long for you to feel the noticeable tent poking your leg. Not taking a break from mixing saliva with him, your other hand palmed the neglected spot. He whined, finally feeling a bit of release. He was almost aching, and your hand was just the thing he needed.

Continuously assaulting the place, your lips moved lower, feeling bold enough to take your kisses onto his neck. He shivered, leaning onto the cold wall behind him. His legs felt wobbly and his entire body was on fire. You just knew how to rile him up with almost no effort. Of course, you made sure to not leave any hickeys, or else your story wouldn't be so believable. His nails started to lightly dig into your skin softly, not being able to contain himself when all he perceived was you teasing him. His pelvis moved on it's own, grinding onto your hand with embarrassing need.

Swiftly unbuckling his belt, you reached into his pants. He held back the volume of his sound as he felt you slowly jerk your hand. The stiffness and warmth felt illegal in your grasp, only adding to the fire rising in both of you. He rested his chin onto your shoulder, breathing out almost pornographical, quiet moans into your ear. Alcohol loosened him up to the point even most embarrassing noises travelled across the room. Him turning vocal was a turn on for sure, but you had to remind him of the situation at hand.

"Try to be quieter, love," you whispered, deliberately brushing your thumb over the head.

"Nff," he bit his lip. "Y- You're making it really difficult..."

He took a moment to calm down his panting, huffing out his plea, "...I- I need you so bad."

His words were raw, sincere. You wanted him just as much as he wanted you. Not being able to hold yourself any longer, you grabbed him by the shirt, pulling him onto the chair near the desk.

You got onto his lap, grinding your crotch against his still clothed dick. You just had to get some friction. Matthew grabbed your hips again, panting shallowly as your bodies did the work of granting you pleasure. The spinning chair rocked slightly under your weight, but the thought of it breaking didn't even cross your mind. Hopefully, it wouldn't.

"...H-Hold on, I'll take off my pants." You panted out, feeling your underwear already getting ruined. Well, you'd have to deal with it later. He frantically nodded his head. Getting off of him for a second, you quickly lowered your pants along with your underwear. In the meantime, Matthew made it easier for you by taking himself out of his boxers.

Granted a couple of seconds to take in his environment, he looked around. Was he really gonna do this? Have sex in Gideon's office, while at his party? He once sat in this exact chair, so maybe it wasn't that bad, despite everything? Yeah, no, it was totally out of place. And the worst thing is, he enjoyed this situation. Perhaps it was his ego, poking out from the depths of his drunken mind, as if doing that would show Gideon who's still the boss, or maybe it was the possibility of beight caught, exposed as a pathetic loser who can't keep it in his pants even for a minute. Of course, if only the latter wouldn't destroy his whole reputation. Admitting to himself he had a slight degradation kink sounded much easier while intoxicated.

Getting thrown off from his train of thought by feeling your weight back on him, he let out a soft gasp. All of his previous ruminating being drowned by your body pressing against him, lower half feeling the familiar sensation of your bare skin. Preparing yourself accordingly with a bit of spit, you waited for the moment where you'd finally connect.

With bated breath, Matthew's hands on your hips lowered along with your bottom half. Both of you let out the held back exhales, adjusting to the sudden warmth and pressure. You finally felt him inside. It was wrong, which only added to the intensity of the act. With his mouth parted, Matthew watched as your pelvis moved, slowly at first, gaining speed after some a few humps. It felt good, but it wasn't enough. The pleasure was constant, yet not quick enough for you to achieve your climax in a timely manner under the current circumstances. You cursed mentally, placing both of your hands on Matthew's shoulder for support.

"...We probably should have just gone home," you panted out, not fully regretting your decision, yet suddenly too aware of the potential risk.

"You think?" Matthew deadpanned, not able to stop staring at your moving body. He knew it as well, but wasn't willing to break whatever you two had started.

You chuckled weakly. "Not like I dare to stop now, though..." The situation was bizarre, yet somehow very connecting. Like doing a crime together. Which probably was true. You weren't really sure. At least you weren't doing it in a random stranger's bedroom, but it still spoke poorly of your morality. You'd have to make it up to Gideon somehow, even if preferably, he would never hear about it. It would leave a bad taste in your mouth if you didn't. Even more so considering the fact you used to have a crush on this guy.

"...I love you so much-" You rambled, feeling the need to voice your thoughts. In return, you heard a chuckle of his own, the flustered kind.

"I love you too," he responded with a tired smile on his face, closing his eyes as he tried to focus on the sensations, all too ready for the orgasm to hit him, yet still being so far in sight. "Your body, your everything- You're just, perfect-"

The praise coming from Matthew's mouth pushed you to envelop your lips on his once more, interlocked in a passionate kiss. At least this way both of your moans would be muffled.

Opening up your eyes to an alarming noise, your stare fell onto the door. With the way you were sitting, you had a clear vision, directly at it. And what you saw almost made you faint.

"Yoohoo~ Am I interrupting something?" With an expression that slowly morphed from disinterest to amusement, Gideon leaned against the door frame, arms crossed in an unimpressed display of dominance. He got you. You were officially fucked.

Caught like a mouse in a trap, you felt the lump forming in your throat, stopping you from making any sound. You lifted your hips, too embarrassed to keep sitting on Matthew. His head whipped back the second he heard the familiar voice, even if the chair was covering most of his view.

"GIDEON?!" He shouted, harshly digging his fingers into you out of shock. He could officially die now. He even went as far as to go back to the time they both fought for the league. He had troubles deciding what would be worse, if he would have lost that time, or the exact circumstances he found himself in right now. He should have seen it coming, and he knew that. Only thing he forgot to do was get prepared for this to happen.

Gideon only snickered in return, closing the doors behind him to not make a commotion out of the current conundrum.

"Fuck, Gideon, I-" Your compromised position, still resting on Matthew, only fueled your desire to vanish. "W-We're so sorry, we shouldn't-"

Seeing the smug smile on his face felt even worse than being outright yelled at. That meant he enjoyed seeing you struggle, and you knew it. But maybe if he wasn't mad, the outcome wouldn't be as punishing as you initially expected.

"I see you both really enjoy the party, huh?" He clicked degradingly with his tongue, getting closer to the chair you occupied. "I really didn't take you'd have that much audacity, yet here we are."

You didn't really know what to do. Should you get up? The way you sat made you somewhat covered, with your bodies bent in a way that would hide at least a bit of the shameful display away from Gideon, mostly thanks to the chair's back.

"We- I'm sorry, we will see ourselves out," you submissively admitted your defeat, not wanting to be put on the spot anymore. You lost. Preparing for the shameful scurry, you tried to get off the chair.

"Hey, hey, why the rush?" He leaned his hand on the top of it, looking you straight in the face as he narrowed his eyes with a grin that fully expressed the power he had over you right now. Matthew flinched. It felt like a life and death situation, even if you had a spark of hope Gideon would take mercy on you and not babble about it to the whole crew. You learned your lesson. "Didn't the fun just start?"

You were flabbergasted. Did you understand him right? Did he know how long you two were here? Did he see you both coming here and decided to just... not do anything?

"...What?" You said, anxious for the other man's response.

The confidence in his chuckle made you feel even smaller than before. "Oh, lovebirds, nothing goes unnoticed by me in here. I own this place."

"B-But how-" You meekly continued, too shocked to stop the words from spilling.

"Cameras, baby." His response was too quick and nonchalant for your liking.

"In here??" You almost shouted back, feeling Matthew tensing underneath you. He let you continue the convo, too stunned to voice his own thoughts.

"There's no need for shouting. Yes, in here." He emphasized the last words. "I keep all the corners of my facilities covered."

Physically, you felt really warm. Not only from the blood rushing to your cheeks, but your whole body felt painfully hot. Like riding a rollercoaster and plummeting down. The time felt like it stopped, dreadfully extending each second. Getting caught by Gideon with no evidence of it happening was bad enough, but having it recorded was crossing the line. You knew Gideon, and it was obvious to you how serious this situation could be. He was an asshole. Getting blackmailed with a sextape was not something you fancied on a stupid Friday night. However, you were strongly prepared for this reality to become true with the next sentence that would fall out of his mouth.

"Y- You can't!" Matthew suddenly spoke up, not as worried for himself as he was for you. He could not let this happen. "Don't you dare show it to anyone! I'm serious!" He threatened, fully aware how little his words would affect Gideon's already established plan.

"Woah, buddy, calm down." He looked down, towering above the sitting Matthew. "I'm not here to blackmail you or anything. Don't worry, I'll make sure no one will be able to see your moment of weakness."

"Y- You're not?" You said with hesitance, not fully trusting Gideon was telling the truth.

"Even though you massively disrespected me with your little mishap here, I'm willing to forgive and forget. Let bygones be bygones, you know? I'm not such a bad guy, after all." He spoke effortlessly, staring at your slowly changing expression as he explained.

"So- You're just gonna let us go and delete the recording, like that?" You dared to ask.

"Just so we're clear. I didn't do anything for this to happen. That's all on you. Clearly, I'm the victim in this situation. So, I think a favor would be fine for me to ask in return, don't you think?" He smirked, knowing how much of your attention clung to the words he was saying.

"What favor?" Matthew asked, staring at Gideon warily from his compromised position. His imagination ran wild with all the things Gideon could force you to do, and it wasn't pretty. Even though all of the exes, specifically Matthew and Gideon, were now friends, he knew how far Gideon could go to humiliate someone that went against him.

"Oh, I don't know, some favor I'll think of in the near future. Whenever I'll need something from either of you." He stopped for dramatics, seeing how the cogs in your brain turned. "Or, we could all do something about it today and move on with our lives. Your choice, really." He shrugged, leaving you the time to process what he just said.

"What? What do you mean, do something today?" You asked, almost too afraid to speculate.

The light reflected in Gideon's glasses, accentuating his growing, cocky grin. "Let me join the fun."

The moment Gideon finally disclosed what was on his mind would probably stay with you until your death. Both you and Matthew had to process what was being said to you. Did Gideon just offer to have a damn threesome?

"Tick-tock, sweethearts, I still plan to get back to the party." He obnoxiously looked at the nonexistent watch on his wrist.

Matthew's lips felt dry, but he was finally able to utter something back, escaping the incapacitating shock that held him previously.

"I won't do anything Y/N isn't okay with!" He furrowed his brows and rushed with his response, expectantly looking at you after. Not being comfortable with the sudden spotlight thrown at you, you spoke just as quickly.

"I-" The words stuck in your throat, the situation turning into a different shade of stressful.

It'd be a lie if you said you didn't imagine fucking your former boss, as much as that thought embarrassed you while working for him. He was chasing Ramona, not you. Having a crush on a person who wasn't interested was pathetic enough, so you just muted this part of you. Not like you believed Gideon could sincerely reciprocate the affection, there would be an obvious power imbalance. Then things changed, you got to know Matthew, he made you feel all bubbly inside, and there was no shame that came with that. You stopped working for him as soon as you both started dating. Gideon fell from his first place as your love interest, and now, he was offering you the thing you'd accept in a heartbeat not that long ago? The fate played tricks on you. The trick being, you were inclined to accept. It would probably be the first and last time you ever got to fulfill this wish of yours, as bad as the current circumstances were. Perhaps it was due to the alcohol, or maybe the relief knowing you weren't completely screwed that made you more susceptible to his suggestion. The only thing that worried you was how Matthew would react. Would he take it as breaking his trust? You still loved him, more than your silly fantasy of fucking Gideon, and you had to make sure you were on the same page

"W-Well, how about you?" You looked at him, avoiding the obvious elephant in the room regarding this question. "Would you be fine with this?"

His mouth remained opened for a brief while before he put his vocal chords to use. "I- If you are, then... I guess I would be inclined to do it... too." He said, or moreso asked, not totally sure of the words spilling out of him. His sight nervously jumped around, not focusing on anything else in particular. He wanted it too, yet shared a similar worry.

"Are you sure? Like, honestly sure?" Your gaze remained on Matthew, searching for any sign of being pushed. He was your biggest fan and would even punch the 3rd hole in the moon if only you asked for it, so you knew how much power your opinion in the situation mattered. However, you did not want him to feel forced with the decision, only because you wanted to experiment.

He swallowed a hefty dose of saliva before replying. "Yes, I'm sure. It'd be just a favor, like Gideon said, right...?"

"No strings attached. I wouldn't want to cause problems in your lovely relationship. Think of it as a... bonding experience. For all of us." Gideon coaxed, a sly grin remained on his face. He knew he would get what he wants.

You coughed awkwardly, trying to clear your throat. "Well- I- I guess, then... we... accept...? I-If we can stop at any time." It was hard to formulate words when the emotions raced like wild horses. Was it excitement, anticipation, fear, both?

"Oh, of course, that goes without saying," he purred, lightly leaning with both hands on the chair you both sat on.

"Well, now that it's established... Get the hell off my chair." His tone changed into a harsh annoyance, forcing you both to finally stand up. "I will hold you accountable if you break it."

Both of you uttered a quiet and hurried sorry, standing out like sore thumbs, halfly naked. Neither of you knew what to do, pushing Gideon to do something about it. He considered your lack of direction pathetic, but cute with how easy it would be to mold you. He thrived on telling people what to do. Coming closer to his desk, he looked at the papers laying on it's available surface before throwing them off of it with a quick swipe of his hand. Guess they weren't that important.

He patted the now unobstructed space on the desk. "Y/N, if you would."

Halfly unsure, you trusted your reasoning that he wanted you to sit on it. It was a correct assumption. Gideon went behind it, facing your back. Matthew watched, trying to decode what he had in mind. Suddenly, Gideon grabbed your shoulders, swiftly pulling you to lay on your back. Seeing the ceiling made you flinch, until Gideon made an effort to explain what's happening.

"You, pretty thing, don't have to do anything. Just stay still." He looked at you from above, enjoying to the fullest the way you reacted to his pet-name. "Your boyfriend will take care of you, won't he?" He looked at Matthew, who felt more than clueless.

He was just in the middle of fucking you, but felt too embarrassed to continue doing it while Gideon was watching. He knew he would get carried away with his sounds if he did so, and it was too early into your newly formed situationship for him to be comfortable enough to do so.

"...C- Can I at least sit on the chair?" He asked meekly, already settled on what he was about to do.

Gideon raised his brow, thinking about it for a moment before he allowed it with a brief nod of his head. "Go ahead."

Spreading your legs, Matthew scooted closer, now sitting comfortably on the cursed chair that would surely fall apart any minute, if only Gideon hadn't stopped you in time. At least that's what his thought process was with how fearful Gideon's words made him about it.

"...What are you- Oh-" You were about to ask, until you felt Matthew's tongue brush against your groin. Feeling the kitten licks starting to build up something in your abdomen made your face contort into expressions you were too embarrassed to think about in Gideon's presence. You had to hold yourself back from squirming. Gideon, on the other hand, was clearly pleased with the action happening before his eyes. Hearing the faint sounds of a belt being messed with, it didn't take you long to notice his almost fully standing erection pressing against your cheek. It seemed pretty big, at least from the upside down angle. Did he get excited in such a short span of time or did you just not notice it before?

"I don't think I have to tell you what to do?" Gideon looked at you expectantly, adjusting himself so he'd have an easy access to your mouth. Hesitantly, you parted your lips. He shoved himself into you, slowly at first. He thrusted his hips, exhaling contently as your mouth covered half of dick. Saliva pooled at the corner of your lips, it was hard to focus on correct breathing while Matthew busied himself between your legs. Fortunately, Gideon was kind enough to notice that, not pushing you too much in the moment where you were still acquainting yourself with the situation.

Matthew occupied his whole attention with making sure he was pleasing you right, even if Gideon using you at the same time was making him emotions he didn't think he had in himself. He didn't even touch himself, as if waiting for someone's (this someone being Gideon) permission to do it. He wanted to be good. Hearing your soft, muffled moans sent jolts of electricity right to his dick, which was just begging to be touched - a big contrast to how not too long ago it threatened to get flaccid.

Feeling the licks of Matthew's tongue on your sensitive nerves while having your mouth used felt almost overstimulating. You let out weak whimpers, not able to control the sounds escaping you. Gideon, seeing how much you've grown accustomed to the manhandling, let himself increase the pace, shoving his cock an inch deeper with each roll of his hips. You closed your eyes, fully letting both boys work their way towards your orgasm. As much as it was degrading, you liked how Gideon took charge. You didn't really have that experience with Matthew, as your sex was usually pretty vanilla and passionate, mostly from his side.

Not stopping his movements, Gideon kept his composure while speaking up.

"Enjoying yourself?" He looked at your face, seeing how you opened your eyes once he started talking, "I knew this was what you wanted."

Of course, with mouth full of dick, you weren't really in a position to respond, nor wanted to give him the satisfaction of your honest opinion.

"Even when you were working for me. You probably wished this happened sooner, huh? On this desk." He pushed himself deeper. "I've seen you staring at me with those eyes." He mused, moreso to himself.

Matthew raised his head a bit, hearing Gideon's rambling was pushing it a bit, given both you and him were now in a relationship. Gideon noticed this little change of scenery, and was quick to add,

"Don't worry, Matthew. Y/N isn't the only one I had my eyes on." He shot him a knowing glance, the sentence rolling off his tongue effortlessly. He had no trace of embarrassment on his face, fully knowing the outcome of his confession.

Unsure what to do with this unexpected information, Matthew opted for burying his head between your thighs once more, blush coating his cheeks. He wanted to argue, to say Gideon's flattery wouldn't work on him, but unfortunately, it did. Even though he felt jealous, he let it slide. Gideon noticed that, feeling his grin grow wider. He had both of you right where he wanted, and it only added to his ego.

You didn't have time to ponder his words, nearing closer to the finish. The wet sounds, the speed at which Gideon and Matthew were going, it was all just too much. Matthew insisted on licking that one, particular spot that quickly rose the tension in your muscles. Your legs began to shake, your whole body squirmed on that wooden desk. Gideon saw the opportunity to hear your moan, unobstructed, quickly pulling himself out of your lips. You'd be embarrassed at the sound that just left out of you if it didn't feel so damn good in the moment.

Matthew wiped his mouth, now covered in your essence. He was embarrassed at how hard he was, especially with Gideon there to witness it. The only hearable sound was your labored breathing, slowly coming off the high that hit you so strongly just a second ago. Staring at the ceiling, Gideon made it hard for you to avoid his grin.

"Now didn't that feel good, sweetie?" The way he was looking at you made you feel ashamed, but the words coming specifically from him also added something else. A thrill? It still felt wrong, but somehow, you enjoyed this. It was a break from the norm, which was probably why the whole experience felt so ecstatic.

"Mattie, give back Y/N the chair. They're probably exhausted." You weren't sure if Gideon's care for you was sincere, but he was right. You were exhausted.

Matthew got up with some hesitation, the spotlight now embarrassingly thrown at his still aching erection. You had some troubles when your foot touched the ground, getting to your seat with wobbly legs. It was probably one of the best orgasms you had in a while.

"Sit down." He patted the same place you were in not too long ago, signaling for Matthew to switch places with you.

He meekly obeyed, sitting on the desk. He didn't know what plans Gideon had prepared for him, but at this point, he was willing to do anything to get off. With tensed shoulders, his sight dug a hole in Gideon's face, only showing the everpresent satisfaction of the effects he had on both of you. With a swift motion of his hand, he reached for Matthew's dick, starting with rapid jerks. Matthew's response was an alarmed gasp. Seeing Gideon go easy on you made him drop his guard, which had him totally unprepared for his turn to be so intense. His fingers grabbed the corners of the desk, curling.

"...N-Not so fast!" He managed to squeak through gritted teeth, his bangs briefly falling on half of his face. Surprisingly, Gideon listened, slowing down to a sensual up and down movement. He got to hear the sweet sound of Matthew's surprise, free to continue with his pace now. He mostly focused on brushing his thumb against Matthew's tip, feeling the gross precum coating his skin. That did the trick, getting Matthew's moans to shine through. He tried to stop them, to no success. Gideon got closer in between his legs, and Matthew couldn't help but briefly close them around his waist, squirming with each stroke of his palm.

Getting jerked off while in your presence, by another person, letting the slutty, embarrassing noises were enough for Matthew to feel guilty, even if all of you agreed to this sudden fun. He knew that his decision to proceed with the events was not random. Gideon was someone he used to admire, right until he lost the fight for everything that he owned. In that moment, he knew he was above him. He proved it by winning the fight, fair and square. Yet still, there was something lingering in the back of his mind. A foolish desire to feel the same adrenaline he felt while throwing punches at him. Only now he fully realized it wasn't completely about the fighting.

You thought seeing Gideon take care of Matthew would wound your pride much more, to see your boyfriend intertwined with another man, but it was more so fear of missing out. You already exhausted your body enough, though. Even if there was still some jealousy involved, it was certainly less than what you originally expected. It all got clouded by how cute Matthew looked in the current moment. It was easy to see how he fell apart with Gideon's touches. He just had a way of getting into people's heads, even without the use of his Glow. Besides, seeing two boys you considered attractive, entangled in the fun you also experienced not too long ago? It was hot. Seeing Matthew come apart, was hot. Perhaps it was the alcohol speaking, but you weren't against it happening again, sometime.

Although Matthew was in no position to complain, being given gratification with each jerk of Gideon's wrist, he couldn't help but notice Gideon's fully visible erection as well. He wondered, why didn't he do anything about it? How much did he plan to prolong the fun? His speed, even though slow, per his request, was painfully taunting. He knew Gideon had something else in mind, which is why he dared to ask,

"Wh... Why aren't you..." His eyes fell upon Gideon's crotch, leaving no room to debate what his question was about.

"Aw, worried about me getting off Mattie? How considerate of you." He chuckled, his ego growing. As if on command, he raised his unoccupied arm, aligning their members together. Matthew gasped at the sudden warmth pressing against him, feeling way too intimate with the position.

"W-what are y- ah!" He squeaked, feeling the way Gideon wrapped his hand around both of their dicks, increasing the speed to his liking.

"Didn't want to overstimulate you too soon," he huffed out, "but I see you're eager."

Matthew's legs clasped around Gideon even tighter, not being able to keep himself from spilling all the shameful moans. He closed his eyes, not wanting to think how pathetic he must have looked to you. Gideon added another wave of sensations by grinding his hips, helping himself get off faster. He was into rough play, opposite to Matthew, who was slowly losing control with how fast it all unravelled.

"G-Gideon, y-you're going too fast-" he whined, yet wouldn't dare do anything to stop the man's actions. Hearing the sweet sound of his name rolling off Matthew's tongue only fueled his desire to pick up the pace.

"Don't lie," he inched closer towards Matthew's ear, whispering his next sentence, "you're enjoying this just as much as I am."

"Fffuck-" He cursed, feeling the brush of Gideon's tongue on his neck. He could only hope he wouldn't be so bold as to leave hickeys on his skin. That would be crossing the line.

Seeing and hearing the two boys in the middle of their fun made you feel wet again. Were you being a voyeur? Probably, even if all of you were entangled in this. Nonetheless, your hand lowered down to your groin once more, not being able to hold yourself back from the shameful urge. Thankfully, the boys were too occupied with themselves to notice.

The desk began to move rhythmically, shaking just like Matthew's legs. He was on the brink of exploding, as did Gideon. Eyeliner began to spill down Matthew's cheek, the act too intense for the tears to be held back. He let out a choked gasp right before a string of white flew into the air, dirtying Gideon's still moving hand in the process. He wasn't done yet, ignoring the mess and nearing even closer, faintly leaning against Matthew's chest. He grabbed Gideon's arms, digging his fingers into the white sleeves.

"Gideon-!" He whimpered, the pressure on his still sensitive dick drove him crazy. Gideon ignored his plea, too focused on chasing his own climax.

Hopefully, with Matthew's mind occupied, he wouldn't notice you nearing your own orgasm on par with Gideon. With both of their labored breathing, you felt it just around the corner, which added another form of stimulation. You'd come at the same time with Gideon. The thought pushed you to quicken the movements of your hand, all too eager for it to hit you. Hearing a content groan coming from Gideon's mouth, he slowed down his movements, his dick sliding up and down, until it finally rested still in his hand. He leaned his chin on Matthew's shoulder, panting like a dog into his ear, and Matthew was no different.

Given a moment to gather his thoughts, Matthew heard your stifled moan, feeling the blood rush to his cheeks. Oh. You were having your fun too. He felt coy realizing what drove your actions.

Gideon soon retracted away from Matthew, feeling the sweat cling uncomfortably to his fancy clothes. He couldn't wait to take a shower, and so did both of you. Unfortunately, there was none available at the moment. The other guests would just have to excuse your messy states. At least Gideon was kind enough to provide you some tissues. All of you silently agreed the fun time was over, making yourself decent before exiting the room. He locked it this time.

"I suppose this concludes your part of the deal." He spoke nonchalantly while briefly fixing his clothes. He also took out a comb out of his pocket to make his hair look less messy, yet didn't bother to share it - brushing his hair after you used it would be crossing the line.

"How about your part of the deal?" You looked at Gideon, Matthew joining your stare. You had to make sure he would upkeep his promise of deleting the video.

"Don't worry, I remember our arrangement." He lazily took out his phone, the app showing a name of the camera in his office. Thankfully you didn't have to cringe at your compromised position on a little image preview, as there was no visible thumbnail.

"Unless you want me to send you the video first?" He teased, although it wasn't clear whether his words were just to bait your reaction.

Both you and Matthew spoke hurriedly in unison "NO."

"That- won't be necessary." The awkward grin forced itself on your face. He only snickered, pressing the delete button. You watched as a little popup appeared, text "video deleted" fully on display. That calmed down your nerves substantially.

"Well then, if that's all, you may be excused. Feel free to enjoy the rest of the party." He turned on his heel, intending to go back to the bar, but not before inserting a quick quip. "I'd recommend asking someone for a comb though, your hair looks really messy."

You chose to use your well trained patience and not respond anything back, too tired to start anything. Matthew just sighed heavily in annoyance, following your steps of keeping quiet.

Abruptly facing you one last time before heading off, Gideon spoke again. "Oh, and if you ever feel like trying to fuck in my office again, try asking me first, hm?" He half-closed his eyes, looking at you for a moment with a sickeningly sweet expression. Then, he left you no room to respond, already trailing back to the party.

Your stare met at the same time with Matthew's, mostly just appalled. You actually didn't have a clue if it was a warning, or his way of inviting you to another session of...

"What the hell was that?" Matthew finally spoke with both amusement and shock in his voice.

"I- I don't know?" You reciprocated the intense emotions in your tone. "But... It- it wasn't that bad...? I mean, I was terrified at first, but- I'm not traumatised?" The confused laugh fell out of you, probably the adrenaline.

"Well- yeah... I mean- at least Gideon is an attractive guy-" He hesitantly spilled out his thoughts, an embarrassed grin present on his face.

"Oh, so you think that too?"

"Wh- O- Of course I do! I mean- I wouldn't consider it otherwise!" His cheeks instantly turned redder.

The sound of your soft chuckle managed to calm him down. "Well- I'm glad we both got to experience it."

[originalqueenhottub]

So, I'm going to post this picture that I did, just to double as a warning since I'm getting close to posting my first volume of the Pegasus x oc fanfiction I wrote. It's going to have some major dark themes to it. So I wanted to give a heads-up to anyone who may have a sensitivity to s/a or other heavy or dark themes retaining to substance abuse (most likely alcohol) psychological abuse, and any other suggestive themes.

(I think I said this next bit before, so I apologize... I sound like a broken record!)

I want to take a reminder to most fans if they aren't aware of Yu-Gi-Oh's back story, that it's was originally intended to be a horror esque type of manga before the card games. (think of the Saw movies) I want to kinda stick to that format and explore some more of the character personalities we never got to see due to how the focus shifted to more of the card game(s).

I feel like we lost a lot of dynamic, especially with one of the main villains, who was supposed to be this big bad boy, but when we get to his arc, we got diddly squat. I want to make him more sinister, but also make it to where we want him to be redeemable.

I want to raise a lot of questions that involve the psychology of morals and +/- in the grey area of them. For example, when we are not in the proper headspace, via the oppression of a darker entity or even mental illness; how are we supposed to be held accountable for our actions? What needs to happen to be "redeemable" to others around you? What are things that make you WANT to be redeemed for things you have done? Especially to the ones you may have inflicted suffering upon while not at your best self?

If you look into yugioh, you would see these are some undertones less talked about unless you talk to other diehard fans that also have a interest in psychology and sociology.

Anyways, the song referenced in the above picture I will drop below. However:

⚠️THIS IS YOUR TRIGGER WARNING NOW⚠️

This song has obvious tones of s/a, and from what I understand, mur*er and "canni of the bulisim" are also from what I understand are linked to this song.

This song inspired a huge scene in my writings, I already had a scene written out, but... this song helped me go back and capture something I didn't know how to write exactly. Only for the fact it is something you might unfortunately go through when dealing with a certain event. I couldn't describe it in full words since it's something you can only "feel" in certain ways. Then I heard this song... And was in pure awe on how well crafted it was in putting feelings into perspective.

But yeah! I hope this doesn't scare people away 😅 I just want to be considerate to those who aren't ready to go through a nightmare like this.

Love u all! Stay safe!