#i suppose this is something to take into consideration when we talk about characters like him

[beevean]

Honestly I feel that if someone were to face Guts about all the shit he's done as the Black Swordsman he'd probably just...grimly accept it and move on

He wouldn't be consumed by guilt and begging for forgiveness, he'd just accept that he did what he did while also insisting that he has no intention of just getting stuck in his past actions or, I dunno, do jail time.

That's not necessarily because Guts feels no guilt about his past transgressions (his whole "weaklings who can't defend themselves" mentality was just a rationalization to protect his conscience from guilt, he felt awful about the priest and his daughter and about Vargas, not to mention the kids of Misty Valley), it's just that, as he tells Casca during his breakdown, he has killed so many people due to his life style that it's easy for him to just stop thinking about it after a while. Even back in Golden Age: he's traumatized after accidentally killing Adonis, a few days later however he's already gotten over it

It's both a result of Guts being accustomed to killing people since he was a child and also due to Guts' philosophy about always moving forward and living life how you want to no matter what, whose only obstacle is Griffith.

Remember: the deciding factor for him to abandon his path of revenge was just Casca being in danger, not him realizing he was ruining people's lives and needed to stop. In the end the Beast of Darkness can be viewed as a form of retribution: it was born due to the Eclipse but it only got as strong as it is due to Guts living such a hate filled bloody life as the Black Swordsman, and if he thinks he can just walk away from that with no repercussions then the Beast is there to remind him of what he used to be. It threatening to kill his new friends is Guts having to come to terms with the monster he had allowed himself to become, except now the target is not just apostles with a bunch of nameless civilians in the way that he can cause the deaths of while having a detatched attitude about it,the target is now his family, every time he dons the Armor Guts gets to experience what it feels like to have the Black Swordsman come in and kill your loved ones while in a blind rage

Now if CASCA were to confront him about what he's done during those years...I feel that would be a much different story...

I can't add much.

At the end of the day, Guts is a child soldier. He was trained to kill, and to kill for trifling reasons like money. While he has a soft spot for children, which is why the entire ordeal with Rosine was so harrowing for him (and while he stopped torturing himself over Adonis quickly, killing him still left an impact on him, not helped by hearing Griffith accidentally dismissing Guts as a friend), death as a whole has no meaning on him. He's used to being hated, which is probably why he has already forgotten about the trauma he left on Theresia.

It's interesting to think Guts and Griffith share a similar "no point in looking back, the only way is forward" mentality, but for different reasons: Griffith has tunnel vision, and he's projected towards the future (he's a pretty skilled manipulator and plotter for a reason), while Guts lives in the present, day by day.

I think his way of thinking can be seen when Farnese pledges her alliance to him, and he says "eh, I killed some of your men, we're even, do what you want", matter-of-factly... while inside he's much more tortured inside over what he has just done to Casca, which is the real reason he's even entertaining changing his lifestyle and travelling with the people he has both hurt and helped.

[xenodile]

"Shuro loves Falin for the same reasons he hates Laios" Completely and utterly wrong, could not be further off base.

I get the impression a lot of people watching Dungeon Meshi as it airs, or are a bit removed from its original manga run, have forgotten that Laios and Falin being monster freaks wasn't actually apparent until the events of the story. The only person that knew Falin loved monsters as much as Laios was Marcille because they were best friends at school.

Once Laios and Falin were in an adventuring party together, they both had public facing personas because they had both learned through their separate upbringings that being super interested in monsters and dungeons wasn't normal. Laios is the blunt but well meaning, outspoken and opinionated guy we all know, but Falin was way more withdrawn and soft-spoken, non-confrontational, easy to get along with. Everyone that interacted with Falin would say she's a sweet, gentle girl that everyone likes. Because she was, frankly, kind of a doormat.

The whole thing with Toshiro's infatuation with Falin is he doesn't actually know her. She is outwardly very polite and reserved, and that appeals to Toshiro because it meshes with his cultural sensibilities and how he was taught people are supposed to behave. Then he sees her marveling at a caterpillar in a private moment and decides on the spot that she's the ideal woman and proposes without actually talking to or getting to know her.

And his lack of understanding of Falin as a person is brought to the forefront in every action he takes after she gets eaten. He leaves the party and makes no attempt to contact the two people that Falin loves the most. Whether it's a matter of him just not knowing how much Falin cares about her brother and Marcille, or actively avoiding Laios to rescue Falin himself, he's demonstrating that he doesn't actually know what's important to her or understand how she feels.

Then when he meets Laios's party on the lower floors and they go over what happened, it's made even more blatant that Toshiro's affection is shallow and half-baked. He came into the dungeon a week too late and neglected his health the whole way down, so he was in no state to actually try and save Falin when he got there. When Laios talks about eating monsters, something Falin was thrilled about, Toshiro is disgusted. He threatens to kill Laios and turn Marcille in, which would never fly with Falin. His anger at the use of black magic is entirely based in his selfish idea of Falin being tainted and blaming Laios and Marcille for "ruining" his attempt to rescue her, as Kabru points out that Toshiro would have done the exact same thing in their shoes and that he's being a hypocrite. To say nothing of how he'd rather kill Falin after she's been transformed and "put her to rest" rather than put any effort into saving her, because that would require further involvement from Laios and Marcille and methods that Toshiro doesn't approve of.

And there's the fight he has with Laios, and Toshiro's subsequent confession that he had hoped to just take Falin home with him. He at no point gives consideration to what Falin feels or what she might want, only what he has decided about her based on the most surface level observation. Just like how his problem with Laios arises from his refusal to just talk to him about his boundaries, he has no actual connection with the woman he claims to love because he just wouldn't actually talk to her.

Like it's not a coincidence that every time his attraction to Falin is brought up, another character goes "yeah he's being weird about it".

[rustygem]

VOICELINES ABOUT YOU. ft various hsr characters.

warning(s): a little angsty (aventurine), slightly suggestive if you squint really hard and use a microscope (aventurine), mentions of blood (dr ratio)

notes: a little sumn sumn to get back into the groove of writing.

MARCH 7TH

ABOUT [Name]: 'WHO ARE THEY?' "Oh, [Name]? They're only the best partner in the world! They're quiet, but not rude like Dan Heng. They laugh at my jokes. Hmph. Dan Heng told them to 'be careful, she's a lot.' Hey, why're you laughing? That's not funny! Even if I was a lot, [Name] seems a-okay with it!"

ABOUT [Name]: 'FIRST MEETINGS?' "Hmm, if I remember right...they came aboard the Express about ten months ago! They looked uncomfortable-like they were scared of all of us. I felt really bad, so I tried talking to them. They weren't much of a talker, but they were a great listener. Y'know, the more I think about that day, I...I really hope I made them as happy as they make me."

ABOUT [Name]: 'PARTINGS?' " *Sigh* They like having their alone time, and end up being all cooped up in their room. But, it's okay. [Name] just needs a little relaxation! Miss Himeko and Mr. Yang do it all the time. I just...really wanna spend more time with them. Aw no, now I sound clingy.”

ABOUT US: 'SELFIES!' "Hehe, sometimes I take them by surprise when I snap a photo of them eating, or even sleeping! What? They look cute holding my Pom-Pom plushie when they’re asleep, it's not my fault! My favorite photo was when we were at the Xianzhou trying Berrypheasant Skewers, it was the first time I've seen them smile with their teeth!"

ABOUT [Name]: 'SOMETHING TO SHARE.' "Friendship bracelets, necklaces, charms, it's all so cute! We love exchanging charms with each other. Don't tell anybody, but I stole a bracelet they made for Dan Heng. Oh don't look at me like that! The colors didn’t match him anyway.”

ABOUT US: 'WORRIES...' "We all have our own insecurities. I’m worried that... that I might be overwhelming them. [Name] is worried that they're not doing enough for me, and I don’t want that at all! Sometimes… I wonder if they could do better than me. A-Ah, don't tell them I said that. I don't want things to get… intense between us."

ABOUT US: ‘PROTECTION.’ “Hmph, you’ll have to get through me–no–dozens of me to get to [Name]!”

VERITAS RATIO

ABOUT [Name]: 'WHO ARE THEY?' "You want to know about [Name]? They will always know themselves better than I. But, I suppose I am the second best option, aren't I? To put it simply, [Name] is a lovely individual. They are very considerate, but they do not lack common sense. Similar to myself, they do not enjoy being around the presence of idiots."

ABOUT [Name]: ‘FIRST MEETINGS?’ "I was at an art gallery, and I saw one of their paintings. It was a self portrait of [Name] themself. That was the first time I learned of their very existence. When they passed by me for the first time, they merely said they had hoped I didn’t hate the portrait. I told them whether or not I hated their art was irrelevant, that it was up to them to decide how they feel about their art. Once we got closer, they had asked me 'if I prefer them inside the canvas or behind it.' Had they asked this of me upon our first meeting, I originally would not have cared to give an answer such a question. Now… I will always prefer holding their face to caressing it on the canvas."

ABOUT [Name]: 'PARTINGS?' "A kiss. Be it short or long, face or lips, it is dependent on how we’re both feeling."

ABOUT US: 'HAND HOLDING.' "Normally, they like to interlock our pinkies together. Other times, they like to hold my entire hand. If they're feeling bold, they will also kiss my knuckles. Unfortunately, those moments of boldness are much too rare for my liking."

ABOUT [Name]: 'SOMETHING TO SHARE.' "One of their most admirable qualities is their creativity. From portraits to poetry. I wanted to surprise them, so I had them see one of their paintings in my office—framed. There were more…tears than I had hoped for."

ABOUT US: 'INSECURITIES...' "…You are interviewing me. I don’t believe [Name]’s insecurities are any of your concern. As for me… I only wish that my lover never sees me at my lowest.”

ABOUT US: ‘PROTECTION.’ “One should know that if they wish to make a fool out of themselves by trying to put [Name] in harms way, that my lover is not afraid to draw blood... and neither am I.”

AVENTURINE

ABOUT [Name]: ‘WHO ARE THEY?’ "Oho, you wanna know about my darling [Name]? Such a marvelous blessing, honestly. Such warmth ought to be cherished, no? Oh, do I sound...entranced? Maybe I am.”

ABOUT [Name]: ‘FIRST MEETINGS?’ "At a lovely little bar they run. They asked me what drink I'd like, I wanted them to surprise me. Sweet and tangy at the same time...said it was their own concoction. Didn't really like it at first, so I kept trying to get something different from them every night."

ABOUT [Name]: 'PARTINGS?' "Me being away from [Name]? Talk about a mood killer. ...I'm kidding, friend. A kiss on the lips from me and a hug from [Name]. Occasionally...it goes beyond a kiss if I feel like making them late for work. Hehe, apologies. TMI."

ABOUT US: 'SLUMBER.' “[Name] likes to sleep whenever they feel like it, and I’ve gotten used to doing the same as I spent more time with them. It is because of them that I feel much more satisfied sleeping throughout the day than night.”

ABOUT [Name]: 'SOMETHING TO SHARE.' "Did you know that [Name] can be exceptional at makeup? I normally don't go out with it, but my partner wanted to use me as their makeup tester for our first date. I never thought I'd look good in mascara and eyeshadow. On occasion, they also use makeup to cover up blemishes and bruises... whether it's mine or theirs."

ABOUT US: 'INSECURITIES.' “I often blame myself for being dishonest with them. I don’t doubt that they might have their own secrets, but I’d like to think [Name] has shared all the important details about themself…meanwhile, I haven’t even told them my true name. Imagine the kind of guy you have to be to treat a wonderful soul like [Name] the way I do.”

ABOUT US: ‘PROTECTION.’ “…Remember this, friend; A bet on [Name]'s life is a bet on your life.”

[heevee-likes-soup]

San x Reader |1K- 1 Trope|

>> 1K- 1 Trope series: A start of me to start publishing/ Get back into writing, 1 character, 1 Trope, 1 K words <<

>> First Kiss<<

>> Summary: Joining your friend as a plus-one at this random house party sounded like a fun idea. Something different, right? Well, what you didn't expect was to be left alone, and now find yourself serving your 7 minutes in heaven with the cute hallway-boy. <<

>> Rating: Fluffy/ SFW <<

It was such a stupid game, you thought to yourself. Such a stupid game that you didn't even know why you participated in. You felt pressured, that was it. You were at a birthday party, you tagged along as a plus one and after about half an hour your friend was nowhere to be found.

They took mercy on you, and let you join their circle, you should be thankful, and yet you couldn't help but fight the lump of nervousness inside your throat. You didn't really go to such parties that often. If so, you were usually accompanying a friend. It had little to do with how extroverted or introverted you were, but the prospect of sitting around and drinking with people you didn't know just didn't thrill you the same way it did some of your friends-

And see where that got you.

The closet was smaller then it looked from the outside, and the fact that you could feel San's body heat radiating onto yourself was enough to make you blush furiously and want to leave. On top of the small closet- San wasn't a small guy. Not anymore at least. The introverted guy who chattet you up at the beginning of Highschool about your Pokemon plushy keychain was only a memory by now.

This San, was broad, went out and was part of the sports team. Yet he still smiled just as cutely, and seemed just as nervous as you imagined when the bottle landed on you and him. To say he was your crush was an overstatement- a hallway crush was a better way to described it. The two of you didn't talk much, the occasional chat in the hallway or in class, but nothing beyond that.

To you, San looked like this since only yesterday, but most people only knew him as this athletic- arguably sexy guy.

"So… what do we do?" You asked, into the dark of the closet. You only got a small chuckle as a response. A laugh that was a little too adorable for the muscle mass that was rivaling your personal space. "You mean usually, or what we do here? Because we don't have to do anything." You could hear the smile in his voice. It made you huff out a small laugh as well. "I know what people usually do with seven minutes in heaven, San." You chuckled in response.

"So, do you want to?" The question hung thick in the air and made your mouth fall dry. Something inside you was nervous about being this close to each other- but your mind didn't even take into consideration that CHOI SAN of all people, might be the one wanting to-

"what?" you asked, a little in disbelieve, gaining a small laugh from him. "What do you mean 'what'? Y/N… only things you want to are happening in here." He was being so sweet, and something inside you felt a little bad that this was what he assumed you were nervous about. "No.. I-" it was laying heavy on your tongue. Because… "Do you"want to?" The way he let out a soft chuckle, made you feel warm. "Y/N, why would't I?" It made you blush, furiously, and it made you thank the heavens that invented this bullshit to not put lights in a closet.

"I somehow just assumed you'd not want to kiss me." you spoke truthfully. It was meant very matter effect.

"That'd be so foolish of me-" he said, one of his hands carefully raising up, very gently testing the waters as he placed it onto the side of your face. "Y/N, you're one of the nicest people I've ever met."

Your breath felt like it stopped- you felt like you had to reboot yourself. In no fucking way was this how your first kiss was gonna go. You felt nervousness settle in your throat like a thick slime, making talking hard. What were you suppose to do? Tell him not to do it? Ask him to do it? Should you instigate? In movies it always looked like neither of them thought about it much- so was this even the right moment when you were so painfully hyper aware and overthinking it, even?

"Y/N, are you nervous?" San asked, voice gentle, yet laced with a smile on his lips. He always was just so carefree- "Most people only started inviting me to things after they declared me with some official popular 'hot' mark" he spoke gently. "You never treated me any different, you were always… a ray of sunshine." This made the slime in your throat cloak up even more. What was he doing talking so sweet to you, while you could feel his warm hand caressing your cheek?

"I never kissed anyone" you blurted out a little. After a second of silence, it was San's soft laughter that filled it, as he retrieved his hand. "As I said, nothing happens as long as you don't want to." he smiled, and you could feel how he subtly tried to back off into the limited space of the closet.

"No" you then said, a little quieter then you anticipated. Because who else, then the sweetest person you knew, could make for a better first kiss? Then you wouldn't have the pressure on you anymore-

"Kiss me." you said softly, your voice a bit more strained then you wanted it to. The hand gently placed itself back onto your cheek, and you could feel his breath soon brush against your face. It was hot, pleasantly so. "Just relax." he smiled, before he leaned in, crossing the remaining space.

San gently put his lips onto yours, first just resting them there, warm and soft. Then he started moving them, and you soon understood and joined the gentle and slow rhythm- before you knew he pulled back again with a smile. "Was it bad?" you finally let yourself breathe again, shoulders slumping. "No… another one."

[konpeitonom]

Hi I’m the OP who requested the recovered Curly hcs and I LOVE THEM SM!!! It’s so cute how clingy he became and how he tried to make amends for his inaction he absolutely would!!! There needs to be more love for disabled characters ✨✨✨✨

I’m going to take you up on your offer for a first time meeting after his recovery if you don’t mind your writing is so lovely!!! Maybe something about them meeting and their first date

Also age gap…40s/middle aged curly and late 20s reader… middle aged men save me ough

first meeting/dating recovered grant curly.

sfw— lowercase intended ^_^

fem reader —

requests are open and heavily encouraged, i write for every mw character ^.^

notes; hi anon! this has been sitting at the bottom of my inbox. just decided to work my way up. sorry this is late haha i hope you enjoy nonetheless. writing for recovered curly is very, very fun. i’ll admit that.

— i think id take him a couple years, closer to a decade, to start dating again! he doesn’t wanna burden anyone with his emotional state, so he’d wanna make sure he’s okay and happy before doing so.

— i like to think you guys met naturally. no dating apps, he’s too old for that. perhaps you guys frequent the same hospital, like you have an older relative there you see from time to time. whatever it is, he managed to land a date!

— he’d be so nervous! not in an insecure way, but in a, “it’s been a long time since i’ve done something like this.. i can’t mess it up.”

— he’d want to talk to you, get to know you just a little more than average before asking you out. yes, he’d ask you out. he wouldn’t be offended if you asked him out (and he’d actually appreciate it a ton) but he’s the guy! he’s supposed to be courting you.

— he’s traditional, so maybe a coffee shop- or lunch out. or in people-pleasing curlys case; whatever you wanted to do! even a walk in the park would suffice. and of course he’d always grab the check.

— he’s the type to ask very important questions on a first date. he never wants to waste anyone’s time, or waste his as well. like, what’s it you’re looking for? what do you value? just stuff like that. but only if the mood calls for if, if the date is very, very casual- then he’d bring it up later.

— he’d also ask you if you’re okay with how he looks. again, he isn’t insecure, but he understands the culture we live in.. but he’s certain you don’t mind, since you’re literally on a date together..

— would insist on taking you home, to make sure you get home safe. that’s a man’s job after all. he’d wait for you to walk in, and even then just wait a tinsy bit longer to make sure you’re 100% okay.

— he’d text you the morning after to make sure you slept well, ask you how you felt about the date and such. he’d ask for a second if you give a good response. this time something less formal, like maybe at a garden nearby- or at a bookstore.

— i think he’s really, really into books. he’d be so happy if you read anything he recommended. he’s a considerate man, so all your preferences would be taken into account.

— kisses on the cheek, or on the hands.. he’s a very sweet guy. won’t be so touchy if you resist in any way, but if you allow him, he’ll be all over you.. loves holding your hand! wouldn’t be afraid to initiate it first.

— he would send roses/your favorite flowers to your workplace! maybe a bit early on, when you start dating. he’s a very romantic man, and he isn’t afraid to show you that.

— he’s very particular about sending flowers. would understand flower meanings and everything! classic roses is always a good pick, but further on he’d move onto other things. like red carnations for when you’re on a business trip of some sorts.

— first kiss on the lips would be, a bit emotional for him, maybe? it’s been a long while since he’s done any of that, really, so the fact he can experience what love feels like again at such an older age? he feels lucky, very lucky.

— of course a fancy dinner date would come much sooner rather than later. would do many things to see you in a fancy dress, eating nice food. he’d feel so proud to be seen with you, how pretty you are.. and he can’t wait to spoil you for the rest of his days.

[notmorbid]

we could be rats.

dialogue prompts from we could be rats by emily r. austin.

that's the most insensitive thing you could have said.

i never say the right thing.

i wasn't the type of kid who wanted to be a teenager.

there were times i thought i hated you.

maybe if we'd met as adults, things would have been different.

i was the kind of kid who believed toys had hearts and souls.

nothing is ever purely good, is it? there's always a rotten piece.

i'm not depressed. i feel great.

i'm not the same person you knew.

did you feel like you knew me, the last couple of years?

i don't think i've ever been described as 'smart' before.

would it help to hear a joke?

why didn't the skeleton go to the party? because they had no body to go with.

am i getting too morbid?

i have you listed as my next of kin.

do you think i'm being insensitive and gruesome?

just bury me in a garbage bag.

i never really honed being well-mannered, did i?

i think i've accidentally made up white lies that were ruder than the truth.

creeps like us have to stay alive.

we haven't put a label on it.

i think your definition of 'creep' might be different than mine.

say i was abducted by aliens, or something.

are you mad at me? it's okay, if you are.

is my tone making you madder? i bet it is.

i don't plan to haunt you.

____ is like a comic book villain. like a caricature of a bad guy.

listen to people who have different experiences than you do.

you're being an asshole.

we're supposed to examine what's wrong, or it festers.

i used to think i could do anything.

what happened? are you hurt?

do i look normal to you?

the actual experience is never quite what's promised, is it?

it feels like i'm not the target audience for a lot of life.

tell people to fuck off more. take what you want. stir shit up.

everybody knows you.

i feel like i'm still a kid here.

i always cared about you.

everything will be fine. we'll find our way.

it didn't occur to me that not panicking was an option.

i feel sort of reborn.

it's hard to balance being both happy and considerate.

it's kinder to lie sometimes, right?

i'd rather be a pig than a cop. pigs are adorable.

being grown up feels like playing a board game with no instructions.

masks meld onto your face.

let's egg their car.

remember swinging, when you were a kid?

'to thine own self be true', or whatever.

people judge others by their own standards.

i don't remember how i got here.

i feel like i was cast as a character i'm not able to play.

i wouldn't want to live forever. would you?

i'm not sure there's a way to be alive without upsetting people.

inaction is an action.

dying is less scary than growing up.

is this actually happening? am i dreaming?

the trick to lying is to convince yourself.

i don't want you to feel sorry for me.

i feel like i don't know the things i'm supposed to. i feel like i'm pretending.

revolution is about creation, not destruction.

sometimes it's kinder to let people believe they're helping you, even when they're not.

i'd like to see where you grew up.

it sounds like a lot of people want to help you.

do you have people who want to help you?

did you egg my house?

there's no way the moon is a dude. she's got a soulful face. she's gorgeous.

we don't actually get much choice in life, do we?

i think i'm gay.

thinking about _____ sort of knocks the wind out of me.

if i hadn't met you, i'd be a totally different person.

i know i'm unbearable, but what else can i be?

i have a history of bad judgment.

what the hell did you just call me?

i'm not interested in small talk with people who offend or insult me.

i used to believe everyone was good.

i thought everyone felt that way.

did you hear it was on the news?

deep down, we're all who we were when we were kids.

being an adult is about re-finding who you were when you were eight years old.

i don't want to be someone who hurts people. i don't think i was meant to be that.

have you been outside today?

[thebibliosphere]

Hi! How are you doing? Sorry to bother you, but i dont know many scottish people and idk who to talk to about this book I found on audible. It's called Imogène, by french author Charles Exbrayat. Do you know him /the book? I've started reading it but I had to pause because, while being sold as a "humorous spy story" I find the protagonist, a "very proudly scottish" woman, to be... an offensive caricature? Like she acts like a fool, honestly. This book contains some interesting points about sexism (it was published in 1959), and ridiculous british habits (such as employees forced to give money for princess anna's birthday or being socially scorned). I'm sure the shared dislike / distrust the protagonist and her british colleagues feel are (were?) realistic. But she is so extra, and the story keeps telling how lonely she is, even after working 20 years in london. She has No friends, most acquitances dont talk to her for various motivations, her bosses hates her ... idk I feel this book is actually mocking scottish people? Or scottish women??? I was SO there for a "strong woman protagonist who gives cutting remarks to her boss or peers", but this looks wrong. Idk. I didnt know whom ask for inputs. Maybe i'm reading too much into it. Feel free to ignore this mega rant. Have a good day!

I think cultural and historical context and time of publication-- which was almost 70 years ago --are important factors to take into consideration when we look at fiction through our current expectations.

I can’t speak to the book as I’ve never read it, but speaking as a Scots woman who worked for an English publishing house for a while, being made to feel alienated by my boss and others due to being Scottish was unfortunately still something going on in 2011.

I’d get lots of “Oh but you sound so eloquent” remarks regarding my thinned-out accent (something I did on purpose to avoid being told to “speak properly” which was also something I heard a lot in school if I ever used my native Scots language instead of “Queen’s English.”) and one time my boss referred to me as “their civilized Scot” to an American author, whose Scottish romance book I was supposed to be fixing the dialogue on.

The phrasing was along the lines of, “Don’t worry, you’ll be able to understand her. Joy is our civilized Scot.”

The author laughed and made another derogatory comment about how they just loved Scottish accents even if it was unintelligible a lot of the time. I kept my mouth shut because I didn't want to lose my first career job.

I kept my mouth shut a lot in that job.

In that regard I could very well empathize with the character being lonely and not engaging with anyone, even after 20 years.

The proud Scottish woman can be a bit of a caricature, but that doesn't necessarily mean it is intended as mocking.

Again, cultural/historical context matters.

I wasn’t alive in 1959, but I know there was a lot of Scottish media about the time that leaned into the stubbornness and pride of Scots women both for humor and to make societal commentary on the fact that women were strong and more independent than they’d ever been following two world two and a lot of men weren’t happy about it and wanted them to go back into their boxes. As a result the mouthy, proud Scots woman became a mockable caricature that turned women into shrill, over proud scolds.

Get back in your box or we’ll make fun of you, basically.

So is this book being mocking, or is it employing popular tropes of the time, knowing that audience will understand what it means and that the female protagonist is being subversive despite what others expect from her?

I can’t say. Again, haven’t read it. It could be utter dogshit and making total fun of my culture. But I do think when looking at older media we need to put our thinking caps on and think, “How would the audience of the time, 1959, have viewed and engaged with this?”

Expecting a “strong female protagonist” as we know it from media today isn’t going to work with media that’s almost 70 years old.

Hell, the “strong woman protagonist” wasn’t even something any piece of media could agree on when I was growing up in the 90s.

Times change. Literary tropes and preferences change. It helps to keep that in mind.

[laniemae]

An analysis on Ojima’s backstory and [Brusie]

Since the topic of Ojima’s trauma has been explored in the story more recently, I feel that this is a good time to do a proper analysis on it. Ojima’s trauma is a very heavy and taboo subject to talk about, so I figured that this’d need to be done, as you have to take it into consideration when trying to understand his character. Keep in mind I am not a victim of or know anyone who has been subject to abuse, especially not of this nature, so I can’t properly understand what Ojima has went through. I’m trying to be respectful and keep an open mind while doing this analysis.

[TW for discussion of: CSA, Rape, Incest, Physical/emotional/sexual abuse, gaslighting, derealisation]

I’m not exactly sure where to start with this, but I feel like we should take into consideration Ojima’s family situation. As we all know from now Ojima grew up in an incredibly abusive household. The majority consensus before [Bruise] was that Ojima’s father (Ojima Shigeo) was the one who was sexually abusing him. Even though we know that isn’t what happened that doesn’t make him any less of a horrible person, as in [Purple] when talking about the Ojima family Hiroaki mentioned that one of the charges Shigeo was arrested for was beating his kids along white collar charges relating to the company. We don’t know too much about Ojima’s mother, but since it’s been said that she was arrested as well despite not being part of the company it’s very likely she was abusive. Recently we learnt that Ojima’s uncle was the one who was raping him, from when he was three years old to fifteen years old, which is also around the time his parents were arrested.

It’s absolutely disgusting that Ojima was only three years old when this started, he was a toddler. Three years old is when long term memories start to form so it’s very likely that being sexually assaulted would’ve been Ojima’s first memory. He could barely even talk at this age and with how he put it he couldn’t even tell anyone for years, let alone have the slightest comprehension of what was happening to him. And when he did become able to tell his brother what was happening, he told his dad and as we know he got extremely angry and started accusing Ojima of lying, and even gaslighting him into believing that it never occurred while the abuse was very much still ongoing and was still putting Ojima with his uncle. Deliberately being ignorant of all the psychological and physical damage that he would’ve shown. So for almost his entire life Ojima was either stuck between being emotionally and physically abused by his father or being raped by his uncle.

Abuse like this, especially coming from a family member who you were supposed to trust is incredibly traumatic, and how Ojima remarks trusting his uncle when he was talking about his experiences. As even though the adults in his family have done horrible things to him, I could imagine it being a point of conflict for Ojima internally still craving his parent’s and his uncle’s love, as that’s what family members should do. And how horrific it was of them to take advantage of a child like this. It comes to me as interesting that Ojima said that he first told his brother about what was happening to him, rather than directly telling his parents. But even with how his brothers legitimately care for him it would’ve been hard for them to help Ojima specifically, as they were all under an incredibly abusive household.

Ojima’s maladaptive daydreaming as a trauma response is something to consider a lot. Maladaptive daydreaming doesn’t always occur as a trauma response and can just happen but in this case it is. It was a type of environment where he went through so much abuse that his mind had to split off into another world where he could feel safe and have control just to survive. Maladaptive daydreaming can start at a very young age (as young as 5 from what I’ve read) so Ojima has probably been living this way for a very long time. As with lots of trauma responses this which would’ve kept him safe throughout his childhood is now heavily hindering Ojima with his life after escaping the abuse. Ojima has talked about how much his daydreaming affects his life with missing out on deadlines and lots of his life in the real world from it. And even in the secret logs we see how he can go for days only daydreaming and how his grades are slipping, likely due to it as well. One thing that is particularly sad is that it definitely seems that Ojima’s daydreaming and his inattentiveness towards reality can be physically dangerous with him. As in [Two Truths and a Lie] we learn that he has broken a ton of bones, which likely comes from his dissociation causing accidents.

There’s also one thing I have been thinking a lot about with Ojima’s trauma response of daydreaming and ignoring all his problems. That perhaps one of the reasons why he developed derealisation and another world he can go to without thinking about his suffering specifically was influenced by how his father was gaslighting him into believing it wasn’t happening. And trying to repress the trauma that he went through and bury it down while being told he was lying when it was constantly happening could’ve lead to this. So if he could just not think about it, it’d feel easier for him. As I can’t believe how damaging psychologically for Ojima, who would’ve been really young and susceptible, to be told by his father that he was lying about the abuse his uncle was inflicting on him while constantly being subject to it. That he was made to blame himself for what was happening to him and believing he’s crazy, and since the abuse was happening throughout his entire life eventually it would’ve been normalised. I keep thinking back to [Lettuce] and [Breathe In] where in the auditorium Chiba accidentally triggered Ojima’s derealisation when she suggested that everything may just be a dream which lead him to have an anxiety attack. Ojima’s reaction here makes sense as it’s common for people with dissociative disorders or stuff of the liking to be triggered by the prospect of unreality, but I can’t help thinking that part of this could’ve gone back to how Ojima’s father was telling him that the abuse wasn’t happening, probably even telling him it was a dream as well. That what Chiba said could’ve set him off in both ways relating to his fear of unreality and his trauma relating to what he was told.

Ojima’s whole relationship to the idea of opening up to people definitely seems to have also been heavily influenced by the gaslighting as well. As he’s so against telling people about his problems as he’s been taught throughout his childhood that trying to talk to someone would only get you hurt more, and this must’ve internalised into him being so shut off I can imagine. There’s also what would’ve made things worse when how his parents were arrested and he was finally able to escape from the abuse. Due to coming from a rich and influential family his situation was highly publicised across the media and we’ve been shown how he’s been constantly pestered for interviews because of that. That not even being able to try and properly heal and with people trying to get an insight into his life would’ve made Ojima’s mentality on this even worse, and how he struggles so much to get help. With how he’s dropped out of therapy eight times from how he’s worried about telling all his feelings to a stranger, and as well his hatred of being pitied for his trauma and treated like a little kid. I’m also thinking back to a scene in [Tech Support] where when Ojima was trying to help Wada fix his computer he noticed how he was hurting. Wada panicked and said that he can’t talk about it when Ojima asked if it was Okazaki who hurt him. And how Wada should tell someone if she was hurting him. And interestingly enough when Wada said “I’m not supposed to tell” we saw Ojima flinch for a second then told him that he can always tell. And with the further context we have on Ojima the way he reacted here makes sense with what he know about his past and telling people. I find it interesting how even though Ojima is adverse to talking to people and opening up about his own struggles, he acknowledges that it is the best thing to do as with how he said Wada should tell someone if he’s being hurt.

Even how with Ojima is always very close to Hiroaki and even from their relationship we’ve seen, Ojima has a hard time opening up to him, often panicking and shutting him down whenever he gets close to bringing up his trauma. [Young Forever] was the closest we’ve seen to Ojima opening up to Hiroaki, but we still see how affected and scared he is of doing so. How they were talking about how Ojima must’ve felt when his parents got arrested and how he’s worried about everything suddenly changing in his life and how things happen too quickly, and how he never got to be a kid. That he’s missing his entire childhood which was stolen away from him and how he can never get back. That Ojima is stuck as a seventeen year old who never got to live as a child, whose innocence was stripped away from him so young and was forced to grow up too quickly. But simultaneously from his lost childhood you can still see that at heart he’s just a kid. How even as a teenager he takes comfort in illustrating and reading books meant for very young children and his daydream world is implied to be childish as well. That Ojima is stuck in the limbo between these two conflicting sides both having never been a child yet yearning for a sense of kindness and innocence still in his teenage years. That he’d just rather stay forever young in the safe space he has made for himself in his mind where he had nowhere to go in his childhood. And how the parallels of him painting a beautiful sky on the balcony shutter that is keeping him locked inside the school to how metaphorically he painted on the walls of the cage which was his home life into the view of a free, happy world. Such as he draws on the walls of his own room at his home.

In the same episode, Hiroaki suggests that Ojima really should talk to someone professional about his trauma and Ojima remarks how feels as he’s not ready to do so, that he just can’t and doesn’t want to think about it. That even opening up to a therapist or whoever is so scary to him from having to face his trauma head on instead of repressing it like what he’s been doing his whole life. But the only way you can properly heal from trauma is to face it and acknowledge it and to learn from there. It comes to me as it being incredibly impactful that Hayashi was the first person Ojima properly opened up to regarding his trauma surrounding sexual abuse as in that episode we also learn that Hayashi is a survivor of it as well. Everyone already knew about Ojima’s trauma from all the way back in [Confession Game] where his secret was leaked to everyone else. Hayashi had suggested telling Ojima her story in which I could see as even though they’re not close and have rarely talked to each other, that it comes from the understanding that they have been through the same thing. In which turn lead Ojima to properly open up to someone about his trauma.

Ojima envies Hayashi for feeling that she’s become so strong. That when Ojima figured out that Hayashi had killed the man who raped and abused her he started calling her incredible and looking up to her, and stuttering for a second that he could never [do something like that himself]. That Ojima jumped to viewing Hayashi as everything he isn’t, someone who was strong and able to fight back against who hurt them, to not let themselves submit to and be broken by someone who hurt them so badly and had a home to go to. He starts feeling bad about himself for how he can’t understand how she can just decide to be strong. That he feels so small and can’t let his trauma not overtake every aspect of his life. Ojima says he’s not strong, but in my opinion I really don’t think so. Despite how he views himself Ojima has an incredible sense of willpower. The fact that he’s been able to sign up for therapy on eight seperate occasions and keep going with the knowledge that he needs help and is actively seeking it out despite how closed off he his, just shows how strong he is despite how psychologically shattered he may be. That there’s still hope for him to keep reaching for.

Hayashi isn’t necessarily stronger than Ojima for how she’s learnt to heal as what Ojima thinks. Hayashi as a person has had a loving family who was able to support her and help her heal through her trauma and wouldn’t let it take over her entire life. And how she’s opening up to Ojima about her experiences, and how she sees that Ojima is still very much new to a life without abuse and is broken and suffering after everything. Hayashi hasn’t completely healed from her trauma, it’s impossible to properly recover from that. But she’s had a supportive system who has allowed her to come to a point in her life where she can feel strong again. And how she tells Ojima that despite how he had nowhere to go in his life, if at this point in time he’s living with his brothers who are very supportive to him that he should open up and let them help him. I think Hayashi said it best herself in this part.

“Y-you’re… so much stronger than me…”

“I’m not. I’ve just had more practice. You’re still you, Ojima. Even after all the shit you’ve gone through. You’re always gonna be you.”

This episode helps as a massive step in Ojima’s direction to help and begin to heal from the trauma he’s been through. For 12 whole years of his life he’s only known rape, physical abuse and gaslighting, but he’s not a lost cause. He remarks how he feels as if he can never be okay after that, that he can never feel strong and how he can never feel like he doesn’t belong in his own body anymore, describing as feeling infected. It’s hard to imagine how mentally and physically scarred he is from everything that happened to him. Ojima is 17 now, so he only had 2 years of his life that he could remember not being abused. I feel like that’s something not talked about enough, how scary it must’ve been when his whole life was flipped when his parents were arrested and he was taken into custody of his older brothers. Living a life where you only knew being abused, it eventually starts to become normal. That Ojima would’ve been so used to the abuse that the moment he was in a pain free environment it would’ve felt incredibly unknown and scary. It’s not that abuse victims would’ve preferred the abuse, it’s that they’d start to miss it because it was at least something familiar. That if they aren’t used to feeling comfort and love, it can feel alien to them. Ojima is still very young, and even though he can seem so put together and mature at times, it can really show how much he’s still adapting at times. That he’s afraid of getting older but mourns never being able to live the innocent life of a kid. And how he expresses himself through drawing illustrations for children’s books, manifesting art of kind and safe worlds which he years for.

Ojima is such an incredibly interesting character and he is so tragic yet so human at the same time. It was hard to write this type of analysis going over Ojima’s traumatic childhood and how it has affected him from what we know at this point, but it has to be done. I’d really love to see other peoples thoughts on this subject as well, that even if it’s upsetting to think about it, if you want to analyse Ojima’s character like this that you can. Ojima is a character very close to my heart so properly going over his life does make me sad, but I feel as we should appreciate how Tetro has written his character so well and realistically. I hope if you’re reading this you have a good day, as stuff like this can be tough at times.

[lasiocampa--quercus]

For all those stuck in 2019...

I have been very reluctant to share any art / writing for — oof, five years. First because it was plain awful, then because it was not good enough. It still isn't, but as the years passed I got increasingly lonely on other social media, so this is my last resort. After I've failed smashingly here, well, I guess I'll just have to stop trying altogether.

Anyway, a first time for everything. So here's one for you.

[Detail. Scroll down (I mean to say, read the whole post) to see the full artwork]

We don't choose what we love, now, do we?

For five years I've been desperately in love with the idea of putting two brilliant characters — Eggsy from Kingsman (2015, 2017) and David from Bodyguard (2018) — into the context where they could meaningfully interact and explore one another's worlds. Such a context has been established (it is not the subject of the current post but I'd be willing to tell all about it later), resulting in their taking a shine to each other almost immediately. For Eggsy this acquaintance was something excitingly in between the two class extremes he was most accustomed to, sabotaging his life-long distaste for having anything to do with coppers. For David it was a breath of fresh air. He'd been two years well into therapy after the events covered in the series, and he was still struggling to get back on track when he met Eggsy, arch and lively, and at the same time so dashingly insightful as he was. Somehow it felt like they'd known each other for years as they talked throughout afternoons and after-work hours over a pint of lager somewhere in North London. David, usually rather inhibited, smiled and laughed at Eggsy's jokes, charmed by his candour and straightforwardness, taken aback by his astute remarks often delivered in a childlike unassuming manner. To be sure, he'd never met anyone quite like him. The prospect of friendship was an enticing one despite all their differences and despite the pressures of their jobs. While at first one was suspicious of the other's occupation (David, of course, more suspicious than Eggsy, being inherently averse to secrecy of any kind), they soon grew to respect the boundaries imposed by respective lines of duty (David was inclined to believe Eggsy's agency couldn't be that bad seeing as it employed such a brilliant lad). In effect, Eggsy trusted him more than he could ever trust any of his old mates and occasionally slipped into the conversation uncanny details of his field experiences. But best of all he liked exchanging ideas, relaying to David something that Harry had told — or taught — him, expounding on his reflections that were philosophical or even biblical in essence, although he couldn't ever say whom he unwittingly quoted. David would recognise a concept or two, but he never abashed him by mentioning the fellow's name. Over time the content of their communion had got more intimate, insomuch that Eggsy took to dedicating a huge chunk of time to moaning about his relationship with Harry which had gone on for quite a while after he split up with Tilde.

One such time, fuelled by a considerable amount of drinks, Eggsy set to illustrate the supposed reasons for Harry's recent aloofness. He clamorously hurled his jeerings and complaints at David, impinging on much-cherished privacy of the pub tables. Before it started to wear on virtually everybody in their proximity, David took his noisy, fairly plastered companion outside for a breather. The cool evening air didn't seem to have the desired effect of sobering him up a bit as Eggsy nearly blacked out after a brief (but crucial) exchange between himself and David. That occurrence prompted David to call a cab and take him to his place to recuperate. He reasoned it would not be wise to let him dart off home to Harry in such a flustered state, for it appeared as if the conflict between them was merely an ember, or rather, a heap of embers waiting to be stirred. From then on David's conduct was laced with strange acts of gracious benevolence, such as taking Eggsy's trainers off before laying him down, sleepy and a tad confused, on his sofa and leaving the keys to his flat for when he woke up and presumably wished to go home, with little trim notes strewn around telling about it, as well as where to look for aspirin if his head was giving him a hard time after the other night's drunken debauchery. At the time David didn't question his actions, although they clearly ran counter to his long-conditioned circumspection and, to a lesser extent, his vague views on male intimacy. If anything, the day when he, trying not to disturb Eggsy's healing sleep, snuck away for work he couldn't shake off a quaint feeling of invigoration which seemed to permeate his otherwise dull routine of desk duty. Later that day, confident that Eggsy had left, he got back to a startle in the form of his coyly looking, supper-serving friend with unkempt hair and a crumpled white T-shirt. Eggsy stayed not only to defer having to face Harry, but to show gratitude for David's kindness the best way he knew — by doing a kindness in return. He furnished their dinner table with a bottle of wine, promising to go easy on it and proposing a toast to David's general gemness. There they were, having another quiet night of good conversation, the homely setting and their tipsiness conducing to even more warmth and unrestraint, when Eggsy accidentally tipped over his half-emptied glass and stained his T-shirt. If one could ever be sure of such things, one would say that exact moment was the point of no return, the moment of truth. A simple, ordinary incident that tore down a facade with the light tinkle of glass as it touched the floor. From lighthearted jocularity Eggsy went on to unbosom his brooding insecurity. The change in his disposition was so thunderboltingly sudden it made David somewhat uncomfortable. It made Eggsy uncomfortable too. The only suitable course of action suggested they should comfort each other, so Eggsy placed his hand in David's. A bashful kiss ensued. Once it was reciprocated, little smiles creased their flushed faces. Both hardly had an opportunity to process what was happening, but it somehow felt ridiculously, madly right. And peaceful, too.

Well, now that all the heavy lifting is done by that snippet above we can sit back and (hopefully) enjoy this little picture depicting David and Eggsy decently progressed in their ‘comforting each other’. I must point out, however, that what you've just (hopefully) read is really only a summary, a squeeze if you will, of what transpired, produced specifically for purpose of acquainting you with the context. In actual fact the story is teeming with dialogue and detail which, with your kind permission, I would like to show you some other time.

[slugtranslation-hypmic]

Hello! after seeing the translation req from the anon in the server and your reply to them, I considered asking for the same here. I'd like if you translated FP's 2nd stage song, 'bunch of roses', although I understand that you're not able to focus on this currently but I considered dropping in the req anyway. Thank you!!!

Sure thing!

I always get tripped up by FP songs because they're so vibes-dependent... Much of what makes them fun is the rhyme and wordplay, and without that, I feel like you're losing half the song. So for this translation, I incorporated simple rhyme and wordplay whenever the song uses either. I also tried to line up rhymes with the source whenever possible--ie, if someone says something weird for rhyming purposes in Japanese, that's where the rhyme would go in English. I did not incorporate rhythm or line length considerations because that way madness lies... (*cough* the beast of Torima sitting in my drafts *cough*) Finally, I made an effort to avoid my usual verbosity/line bloating with...somewhat middling results...and made an effort to stick very close to the source. I'm attempting a style more similar to Hypmic_en/official subs, basically.

Instances where I added ideas or wanted to talk about interesting wordplay are noted in the extensive notes. Casual readers are encouraged to skip them; I have made no egregious additions to the text.

The somewhat twee nature of this TL is the byproduct of me rhyming and not being an especially good writer haha. Similarly, slightly inconsistent character voice are byproducts of my limited abilities. I feel like this would be less obvious in subtitle form, but... Oh well. To the song!

Shibuya's bunch of roses Just a bunch of us blooming however we supposes [1] A bunch [2] of very different guys Who, together, can still harmonize [3] In a city that's hectic, [4] Its culture, eclectic, Each person's story stands the test of time And weaves together into a single rhyme. I know you, and you know me: Rows of different roses [5] in harmony.

Ramuda: Up first is me! Dice: Nuh-uh, I'm ready! Gentarou: If I may intercede... Ramuda: Whatever! Whoever wants to go first, you're free! Dice: This game gives me a rush; watch me throw down a fat stack. Next thing I know, I've got no money. But at least Gen's got my back! Gentarou: That I don't. You shirk your debts as a matter of course. These ideas then spray across Shibuya with a spatter of force. [6] Ramuda: We're the perfect pairing [7], a music-making clique! Our dope rhymes have a vibe that's perfectly unique! Dice: Which is what? I dunno, I'll just keep rolling the dice. Keep looking forward and never think twice! Gentarou: How quaint. Tonight's a party as short-lived and airy-fairy As a bubble, fictions, and truths floating down the Udagawa tributary [8] Ramuda: Anyone can pull the lever and set the reels a-trundle. [9] All: Even when we're doing our own thing, we make an awesome bundle!

Shibuya's bunch of roses Just a bunch of us blooming however we supposes A bunch of very different guys Who, together, can still harmonize In a city that's hectic, Its culture, eclectic, Each person's story stands the test of time And weaves together into a single rhyme. I know you, and you know me: Rows of different roses in harmony.

Dice: I'm the kind of guy who's gotta win it every minute. [10] Nothing to worry 'bout at all, I'll take home the whole haul! Gentarou: Gambling tales are no substance and all style While my stylish crew of friends are substantially worthwhile! [11] Ramuda: C'mon, let's go! All together now, not alone Chasing after freedom, bypassing what's set in stone Dice: Forget all the scolding and naysayers C'mon, Shibuya! We still gotta be the main players. Gentarou: Even if it won't last long, let's all make an accord That a friend is someone not to be hurt, but adored [12] Ramuda: That's the goal! That's the plan! Here in this culture center There's always something happening; everyone's welcome to enter Dice: It's 'cause we blend together that we're friends forever. Gentarou: When we go our separate ways, there's a part of you in me that stays. [13] Ramuda: When we each shout out our love the way it appears in our hearts, All: Each of our colors bleeds together into a whole bigger than the sum of its parts.

Shibuya's bunch of roses Just a bunch of us blooming however we supposes A bunch of very different guys Who, together, can still harmonize In a city that's hectic, Its culture, eclectic, Each person's story stands the test of time And weaves together into a single rhyme. I know you, and you know me: Rows of different roses in harmony.

Ramuda: C'mon, everyone say it with me! (Yeah!) [14] No more boring battles, do we agree? (Yeah!) Dice: Our Posse's ahead of the times! (Yeah!) [15] Dropping all the dopest, chicest rhymes! (Yeah!) Gentarou: Let's use our words and put this place to rights! (Yeah!) Let's do away with all the petty fights! (Yeah!) All: Let's put our heads together Ramuda: And dream up a universe Dice: Where no one, no matter how "unique," Gentarou: Is ever treated any worse. All: Help us make this world not a myth: a place where no one's laughed at, but laughed with! [16]

Shibuya's bunch of roses Just a bunch of us blooming however we supposes A bunch of quite different guys Who, together, can still harmonize In a city that's hectic, Its culture, eclectic, Each person's story stands the test of time And weaves together into a single rhyme. I know you, and you know me: Rows of different roses in harmony.

You're in the bunch too All of us blooming in one single crew Each of us different but sharing the same stance [17] And just foolhardy enough to think we may have a chance [18] To share our stories and look to tomorrow Wrapped tight in a light, a mutual glow R-E-S-P-E-C-T A bunch of roses passed between you and me. [19]

Notes: [1] わがのまま (waganomama, as we please) is evocative of わがまま (wagamama, willful). Wagamama often contains a childish connotation, hence why it's often used around Fling Posse and Ramuda in particular. It also means plentiful, which in this case suggests lots and lots of flowers blooming in many colors. Both the notions of lots of color and possessing a strong individual will, even if it's not as conformist as is maybe socially acceptable, are bylines running through the song.

[2] The chorus makes multiple plays on the similarity between バラ (bara, rose) and バラバラ (barabara, varied). Something that's barabara evokes an image of something scattered, like many flowers growing in different places before being gathered together into a single bouquet. Interestingly, barabara is usually negative connoted, and I think it's fascinating how things like this and wagamama appear so often in the song. There's a sense that FP and the Shibuya residents being sung about are acknowledging some societal expectation they're failing to live up to, but from that failure blooms something beautiful.

[3] "One balance" isn't a common phrase in Japanese either, but I'm working off of the idea that it's a singular, shared sense of 調和 (being "balanced," being in accord, sharing common elements). Like a oneness or a harmonization, essentially.

[4] I added the "hectic" idea for the rhyme, but that appears constantly in FP songs, so I don't feel like it's putting words in the characters' mouths.

[5] Same barabara/bara wordplay.

[6] It's vague enough here that I could see an argument for Gentarou saying ideas in general spray out of and across Shibuya, but this particular word for forceful splatter is most often used when other things are caught in the crossfire. Like "So-and-so was hit by a spray of water/so-and-so was embroiled in the aftermath of the murder case." So I applied it to Dice's idea/habit of reneging his debts, but I'm not married to the concept, and you should expect to see it rendered other ways in other translations.

[7] Pairing as in food-wine pairing, which works well with FP's and Shibuya's urban image, but マリアージュ (mariaaju, marriage) is playfully worded enough for readers to take away shipping meanings if desired. Incidentally, "music-making clique" was added for the rhyme, but it's nothing that isn't suggested from the source line which is, more literally, "a hot lyrics-producing pairing"

[8] 泡沫 (utakata) is both literally a bubble on the surface of a liquid and something as short-lived or easily destroyed as said bubble. Because Gentarou mentioned the Udagawa river, I had the means to tie both concepts together. Whoo! The Udagawa river is a tributary of the Shibuya river, so I borrowed "tributary" for the rhyme.

[9] As on a gambling machine

[10] More like he has to compete vs. win outright, but I needed "win it" for the rhyme... Forgive me... (The "minute" is from the source's "every instant," so I couldn't drop that.)

[11] Gambling tales are 徒花 (adabana, colorful flowers that don't produce fruit; style over substance). My 色鮮やか (iroazayaka, colorful) friends, my 同胞 (harakara, brethren/homies but ~fancy~). Gentarou doesn't outright say the homies are better like I did, but the notion of color is supposed to make the reader compare the two, and it's in-character for Gentarou to love his homies. See the rest of the song for examples.

[12] This stood out to me as one of the most interesting lines in the whole song. "Let's mutually agree to be people that don't hurt one another." The "hurt" concept isn't for rhyme, so it feels very deliberate. I added the "friend" and "adored" bits for rhyme and flow; as ever, I don't think this is that OoC. (Although "adored" is a bit openly mushy for Gentarou. Eh. Fuck it.)

[13] This doesn't sound quite as wistful in the source, but it's close. Gentarou literally says "[When we part at an] intersection, we don't just go our separate ways" wherein the "go separate ways" is also meant figuratively to not see eye-to-eye, to not be of the same mindset. I unfortunately had to drop the "intersection" idea for space, but FP mentions intersections a lot in their songs, usually as a nod to Shibuya's infamously busy Scramble Crossing.

[14] Part of the reason they're yelling "Yeah!" is because it rhymes with the last syllable of each line. I briefly considered doing the same here (probably with "Word!"; "Yeah!" and "Yes!" are abysmal for rhyming) but that would have taken more time than I was willing to commit. I try to spend no more than an hour on song TLs to prevent overthinking and keep it fun haha.

[15] Technically more like "better than all the rest" but I needed the rhyme... The word Dice uses here, 独走 (dokusou), is interesting in that it ties back into the notion of being unique or atypical that pervades the rest of the song. Literally, to be 独走 is to be running far ahead of the pack to the point of outstripping them. Kind of a lonely concept, right? Hypmic often flirts with the notion of being so good that it's isolating, although this is most often used in MTR or Ichirou's songs. Incidentally, I added "dopest" in the next line because I thought "chicest" on its own would be too OoC for Dice, but I wanted that specific word for the Shibuya-ness of it haha. 粋 (iki, chicness, smartness, fashionableness) isn't hoity-toity enough in Japanese that it'd sound weird coming from Dice's mouth.

[16] Another extremely fascinating concept. This is very, very close to being exactly literal except for the addition of "Help us make this world not a myth" for rhyme (again, the text supports this) and swapping Gentarou's "is ever made fun of" to "is ever treated any worse." for rhyme. I would've preserved Gentarou's concept of being made fun of if it wasn't repeated right below as it feels very deliberate.

[17] More literally, "barabara (scattered, varied) people bundled together." Because I didn't preserve the scattering image earlier, instead focusing on its meaning, I once again prioritized meaning over image here.

[18] There's a "because we're friends" here I wasn't able to fit in, but I also think that's so apparent in the rest of the text (esp. with slight additions like the "friends" in Gentarou's line in 12) that I'm not concerned.

[19] The question of where the roses are being passed to is more nebulous in the source. I see a strong argument for suggesting it's being passed to the future (and there's even a ready rhyme via "posterity") but I'm interpreting this notion of "toward the future" like the characters themselves looking toward the future, striving, always pushing forward. I also see a great argument for it being more open-ended, like a bouquet ready to be passed to anyone who wants to come along and pick it up. I went for "between you and me" both for the rhyme and to suggest some of that openendedness, like it's passing around and around among the listeners and singers. We're all in the bunch of roses today, baby... Yeehaw.

[maxdibert]

Actually yes if you'd call someone a misogynistic slur, even while experiencing trauma, you would be misogynistic. Because that comes from your subconcious. Severus was a victim and the reason he joined the death eaters was due to his social and economic victimization, however he was not a complete mindless idiot who didn't understand anything. He was clearly anti muggle (and although yes his prejudice was influenced by his horrible father and home he still encountered normal muggles so he didn't only have negative experiences with muggles, he could clearly see that some of them are not violent. He was an intelligent man I believe his brain could work this out.) And even when he's a big victim it doesn't mean he is entirely blameless of his words and actions and what they say about his morals. Him calling Lily a mudblood is a clear indication that he doesn't view muggleborns the same way he does other wizards and has clear prejudice. He did not only use that word once but many times - according to Lily. I'm not denying your other claims, you just seem to talk about Severus as if he wasn't an asshole who held bad views, because he was victimized. Do you think he was a good person in a bad situation? Not at all. It is fine to criticize his actions and morals while still taking into consideration that he was a victim and a lot of his decisions were a result of that.

I don't see it that way, but this is a matter of perspective. I might have internalized misogyny or internalized racism, but literally everyone has this, absolutely everyone. It's not the same as, at some point, saying a misogynistic slur to a friend in a moment when I'm about to lose my mind, versus constantly doing it. There's a difference between having a generalized attitude and letting something slip at a specific moment. And if we’re going to start categorizing people or characters based on something they say at a particular moment, then I’m sorry, but we should accuse everyone because there’s no one, absolutely no one in this society, who, even if they are very conscious and deconstructed, hasn’t made problematic comments or used harmful adjectives at some point.

I don’t deny that Severus had prejudices against Muggles, but his prejudices stem from a completely different basis than the prejudices Lucius, for example, might have had. Severus’ prejudices come from his own negative experiences with Muggles, from the fact that the Muggles he’s known were literally awful. Is it wrong for him to have prejudices against an entire population because of that? Yes, but it’s also understandable that he has them. I mean, I spend my life insulting cis-hetero men because they’re the types I have sex-affective relationships with, and I’ve had countless bad experiences with them. Could I be labeled as misandrist? Probably. Am I a bad person? I don’t think so. The problem with these issues is that people tend to see things in black and white, but real life is very diverse. You shouldn’t focus on the tree but on the forest. But well, that’s just my personal opinion.

Deep down, I’m very critical of Snape, even though it might not seem like it. What I don’t like is when people make arguments without considering the context and criminalize him without exploring the reasons for his actions. Was it wrong for him to call Lily a Mudblood? Yes, but we must take into account the context of when he did it, and the fact that it was an isolated incident, not a constant. It’s likely that what he wanted was to hurt her, just like when I call my friend a slut, and sometimes you say things to people because you know it will hurt them, not because you genuinely think that way. Anyway, I would be more critical if it were someone else, but in Lily’s case, it’s hard for me to be completely impartial because she ended up marrying an unpleasant, bullying, abusive person, and honestly, I think Severus fell short. If I had seen my supposed best friend half-smiling at my bully, I would have punched her in the face. I swear, I would have destroyed her and then publicly humiliated her, making her wish she had never been born. But as I’ve said before, I’m a very resentfully aggressive person xD.

[ilikekidsshows]

Ok. So. Maybe you can clarify something for me?

I've always had a hard time understanding Ladybug's level of self-confidence (or lack there-of), especially in Season 1. It borders on cocky at times (for example, the whole "I'm better than both of you" thing in Copycat, whistling her theme song confidently to herself in Puppeteer, generally the smug looks whenever she succeeds, etc) and I guess I have a hard time reconciling it with the Marinette who apparently doubts herself all the time (and constantly needs pep talks from Tikki, Chat Noir, Alya, Luka and etc. to function). If we especially take the movie songs into consideration, I understand her story is supposed to be about believing in oneself. But most the time this doesn't seem to be something she (at least as Ladybug) genuinely struggles with? Honestly I find her borderline arrogant at times.

....notable exceptions being the times she makes a mistake, does a complete 180 and calls herself the "worst" and requires a pep talk reaffirming her that she's the "best ladybug ever" or something similar to get going again. I guess this is where the whole "believe in yourself!" message is supposed to fit in.

So, why then, is she so self-assured otherwise? Is she confident in herself or not? Am I supposed to interpret that she's...faking the confidence? She doesn't really give me false bravado vibes, so I find this angle difficult to accept. It seems like she's genuinely impressed with herself and self-congratulatory a good chunk of the time.

The self-doubt just often feels forced to me. Like, in Stormy Weather: she's smirking confidently as she tells Chat Noir to "just follow my lead". Chronologically this is right after Origins, wherein she was apparently near crippled in fear that she couldn't do it. She just...gets over her self-doubt, near instantly, apparently? And is now a borderline arrogant girlboss?

What am I missing? I'm trying to find a better faith interpretation than just...bad writing, but I'm struggling.

---

I’m trying to remember how I interpreted this aspect of the character before the retool, and I think I saw it as another aspect of her being a coddled child. Her self-image is incredibly fragile, but she’s also getting constant consolation, support and praise so that her failures don’t really register long-term. This is why, when she messes up, she feels like it’s the first time every single time and she’s embarrassed and scared of what everyone will think of her, but, once she gets the reassurance that no one thinks badly of her, she can just brush it off like it didn’t happen, until it happens again. Children with coddling parents are very focused on what others think of them, because they’ve been raised to rely on external validation. Seeing the results of a working plan also grants her that external feedback.

The lack of confidence is also something that’s more closely tied to her life as Marinette. She never makes nightmare scenarios where she embarrasses herself in front of Adrien and has to move countries as Ladybug. This is the Spider-Man effect. As a superhero, she is anonymous, so anything she does doesn’t come to embarrass her as Marinette, which is where that smugness comes from. In the original show, Marinette barely acknowledges that she’s a superhero on the side as Marinette, because she’s separated everything about it from her day-to-day self. She feels untouchable, because she can always retreat back to being Marinette if she looks embarrassing. There’s also the fact that the Miraculous increases her physical capabilities so that she isn’t an embarrassing clutz as a hero.

There’s also another meta reason for it, however. Here’s where I remind people that Miraculous’ narrative structure is copied from elsewhere. In Miraculous, anything fantastical that happens is only relevant in how it affects the mundane aspects of our protagonist’s life, like her status in school and what the boy she likes thinks about her. This is why Gabriel can destroy the world but it’s a happy ending because Marinette gets to kiss Adrien in the end. This is actually a common aspect of the “my dear diary” sub genre of the school drama genre (like Dork Diaries). In the original book of the Princess Diary, the protagonist being a princess was only important in how it complicated her school life, with the actual princess side of things getting a lot less attention. This is also why Marinette doesn’t worry about consequences as Ladybug; it’s not narratively relevant. There’s even a writing tip about not including unnecessary details that’ll bog things down.

Here’s where my salt side comes in some more. I have repeatedly said that the Miraculous writers kind of want to have their cake and eat it too in terms of Marinette’s character. They want her simultaneously to be the greatest girlboss ever who needs no help ever, but also vulnerable so that she can win the audience’s sympathy. This is why Marinette can be downright arrogant in one moment, and a complete emotional wreck that constantly needs and gets validation in another. They want Marinette to be an admirable, competent hero, like the pop culture image of Batman, who the girls watching the show can look up to and want to roleplay as, because that’s how you sell a superhero character. However, they also want Marinette to be that pitiful social loser who never gets her way that school drama genre audiences always root for to just get a break, because that sells the protagonist in that genre. This creates a Frankenstein’s Monster of a protagonist, cobbled together from parts that don’t fit together when used this clumsily.

Astruc is a simple writing guy, he insists Miraculous as a simple show, but combining two completely different protagonists into one isn’t simple and it shows in how sloppy the result is. Because, here’s the thing: the show only has characters say things that lean into either of these presentations of Marinette, while never actually committing to them properly in what happens in the story. Marinette can say she’s better than Cat Noir and everyone can say she’s the best Ladybug ever all they want, but she’s still a complete nervous wreck when the chips are down who got the world destroyed through her incompetence. Ladybug doesn’t have many impressive accomplishments under her belt that would make her a competent hero. Similarly, the characters can act like she’s the perpetual bully victim, but that doesn’t change the fact that Marinette easily beats Chloé every single time outside of a single flashback. Marinette complains about every minor grievance she has, but almost every single character around her has worse problems and makes her look like a privileged whiner instead of someone actively suffering. Marinette doesn’t have real problems that would make her a “loser” as a character archetype.

The thing is, this type of protagonist combination can be worked with, and it is, in fact, one of the more common teen superhero archetypes. Look no further than Danny Phantom to find the perfect combination of a cool superhero and teen loser. Danny is a superhero who, while occasionally needing help, never makes the audience question his morals or competence. He's also a normal guy struggling through school life as one of the less popular kids in school who can’t seem to get the girl he likes to notice him and who never manages to improve his social standing long term, all culminating to him learning that he doesn’t have to be the most popular kid in school as long as he has real friends. He has actual fights with his friends that they need to discuss and work through instead of every conflict being resolved by him crying and being instantly forgiven. His parents are also loving but clearly don’t understand him, explaining him keeping his double life a secret from them and they often cause complications with their expectations, instead of catering to Danny's wants all the time. The only time Danny wanted to quit on something was in the grand finale, as the darkest hour moment. Danny's life is hard, but he'll still save the day.

As I said, the big problem is that the writers don’t commit to Marinette actually having a bad life that would make her a social loser as a civilian. She’s the most popular girl in school, she’s a rising star designer, she beats her bullies with ease every time, she has supportive parents who cater to her every whim, she has a great relationship with all the boys she likes and none of her friends ever get mad at her for anything. Marinette’s life is practically perfect once you actually stop to think about it instead of implanting the typical school drama mold onto her that she’s a miserable wretch who never gets enough support. You can’t even say she’s a loser as Ladybug because everyone is constantly giving her unearned praise, including herself. Every time she has a nervous breakdown, there’s people practically lining up to console her and make her feel good about her failure so that she never has to actually own up to it and grow from it.

The only thing about Marinette that makes her a “loser” is her incapability to accomplish her main goals as a protagonist, but no one in universe is meta enough to point that out. In-universe, Marinette isn’t a loser at all, even though, by all rights, she should be, because the writers are shielding her from having anything too bad happen to her. She always lies to and ghosts her friends and they are never even mildly offended. She hurts people every other episode, only to be instantly forgiven. She messes up important tasks but the people around her planned for that or coddle her through her failure. Every time she’s miserable, it’s a self-caused misery of thinking everyone will hate her and how bad she has it, and every time it gets resolved by some more consoling, validation and unearned praise.

I’ve never seen a fictional character get treated as gently as Marinette, and it’s so weird, because that’s not a trait of superhero or school drama protagonists. If anything, these two arc types both tend to have the worst of luck to get the conflict ball rolling. That’s what you get when you make the protagonist the child you thought you’d have one day; you get invested in her comfort over what makes sense as a story.

[half-dead-writer]

https://www.tumblr.com/half-dead-writer/765380870575161344/do-we-fuck-with-patelgraves-patelgraves-frotting?source=share

me again, i didnt think far enough ahead and i didnt expect a reply uh, do whatever you please with the prompt i guess :3 i read the rules after and realised its an x reader only blog so you can have it x reader too if you want i got too silly and let the demons win by asking im sorry LMAO

At first I was writing my own thing but realized it would fit to Anon's ask sooo here you go! Gideon's relationship with Julie is up for reader's interpretation whether he's not dating her, in an open relationship, or maybe even cheating on her if you're into that who am I to tell u?? one important thing tho is that it's NOT supposed to be a non-con fic - they all CONSENT, they wanna fuck each other aight?? Both Matthew and Y/N probably had some sus moments with Gideon previously but now since they're in a relationship there was never any talk of "hey um actually have u ever considered dating Gideon too??" simply cuz the topic never came and not like either of em had the guts to admit they think Gideon is hot this was supposed to be just a hot scenario of all of you three fucking after doing something risky but I took into consideration Gideon's character (also included the part about cameras only because I think it'd be in his style to do so) and how serious the situation would be IRL - HOWEVER, this is fiction, and aside acknowledging the possibility of Gideon blackmailing you, I wouldn't even call it dubcon. If Matthew or the reader refused, I didn't intend to write Gideon who would actually proceed with the blackmailing, it would just be an awkward situation for all of you. Fortunately it isn't! well now that's out of the way enjoy the self indulgence

It's Worth The Risk (NSFW)

You got invited to Gideon's party, you and Matthew get frisky in the middle of it, Gideon catches you, spontaneous threesome happens

characters: Matthew Patel, Gideon Graves (Scott Pilgrim Takes Off)

words: ~8,2k

reader: gender-neutral

warnings: brief degradation kink mentioned, drunk sex, being walked in on, voyeurism (?), public sex, overstimulation, crack treated seriously?? no beta

𝔯𝔲𝔩𝔢𝔰 + 𝔪𝔞𝔰𝔱𝔢𝔯𝔩𝔦𝔰𝔱 / 𝔖𝔠𝔬𝔱𝔱 𝔓𝔦𝔩𝔤𝔯𝔦𝔪 𝔗𝔞𝔨𝔢𝔰 𝔒𝔣𝔣 𝔪𝔞𝔰𝔱𝔢𝔯𝔩𝔦𝔰𝔱

A few years of working for Gideon brought you many things. Mostly money, but also a lot of time to teach yourself how to be patient, even at the worst moments. Being his assistant, you were by his side almost 24/7, you were pretty sure you knew him better than most people, saw him in his glory days and even when he fell down from grace as Matthew took everything away from him. Seeing Gideon lose all of his possessions was pretty shocking, especially when you got to witness your boss hanging from the rooftop, being overpowered by a man he used to call weak. Even though their combat happened mostly out of your sight, them fighting all over the facility and all, you couldn't deny worries began to flood your head the moment Matthew dared to challenge him. Gideon, used to being the one in charge, didn't even think of a potential loss from his side. He underestimated the odds, and suddenly he was left with nothing in the span of a few minutes.

Even though Gideon was a professional asshole, you didn't know what to expect from Matthew Patel. He probably wouldn't be as much of a menace as Gideon, but still, your boss changing was not something you expected. After just a few days, you noticed how clueless Matthew was as a CEO. He obviously didn't have the experience and it showed with how much money he lost in a single day. Given no choice, he reluctantly had to ask you for some guidance. Seeing him lowering to your level gave you much more confidence, which helped your overall image of him. He wasn't a big, scary boss anymore, but something of an acquaintance. The acquaintance status soon changed to a friend, and then a friend changed to a boyfriend.

Fast forward to today, your life turned out to be pretty great. Instead of being an assistant, having to tolerate Gideon's antics all day, your only duty was to be a stay-at-home-partner for Matthew, who was now a Broadway star. Aside of him having to leave on tours, you were pretty happy.

★ ★ ★

Receiving a letter with both your and Matthew's name on it would not be so shocking if it wasn't from the Gideon himself. He had invited you both on a party, something about all exes gathering together and just having a good time at his headquarters. He already went thru the trouble of getting back all of his empire from Matthew legally, but he had to make a point, throwing a big get-together to show them all of his regained power under the pretext of wanting to catch up. You acknowledged Gideon was a big part of your life, even if nowadays he was just a mere face on countless posters and magazines. It was pretty surprising when he seemingly confirmed to have the same opinion about you, bothering to include you along with Matthew in the invitation. Perhaps he allowed all of the exes to bring a plus one to the event?

Turns out, he didn't.

Arriving at the place in your nicest outfits, neither you nor Matthew noticed anyone else along with the other exes. Perhaps Gideon just had the courtesy to invite his former assistant due to all the years you worked for him, as much as it was out of character for him. You didn't have a reason to complain, even if Gideon wanted to flaunt with all his possessions, who were you to turn down free food and booze?

Although it was a bit awkward at first, the party was a nice change of pace. Happening in the Chaos Theater, it had all the necessities needed for a party. A big, open dancefloor, a barman, loud music and couple of electric faces. You were thankful he didn't go as far as to include a cage dancer into the package, knowing it was a regular occurence from your time as a worker in G-Man's media. Both you and Matthew had to agree - it was a good time. Especially when the alcohol began to properly course through your veins. Seeing Matthew on the dancefloor was probably the highlight of your day, he was in his element, even if other exes had a good laugh about his (more than charming to you) moves.

Exhausted from all the dancing and having too many drinks, you had to remove yourself for a moment, disappearing into the bathroom after giving Matthew a quick heads up about your whereabouts. He nodded, choosing to occupy a free space on the nearby couch as he waited for your return. Seeing the party bustling with life, he was far from being bored of it yet, but the slowly rising buildup in his abdomen was getting really distracting. He should've foreseen this would happen.

Due to Matthew's recent musical hit, your relationship didn't have much time for any intimate moments. Of course, previously, that didn't bother him, the importance of his plays overshadowed any need for sexual release, he simply paid no mind it. Unfortunately, the drinks seemed to bring these nasty thoughts out and he feared his body would soon start to betray him.

He really didn't wanna think about it. The night was going great, he didn't wanna ruin it by being a perv. Subconsciously beginning to tap his foot, his mind raced with every possible thing to distract himself with. Work. Musicals. Anything that would still entertain him while staying as far away from the topic as possible. Unfortunately, nothing worked. All of the thoughts just seemed... annoying. Curse his undignified body for forcing him to go through this embarrassment.

Having enough time to think over his options, he finally deducted - he had to talk to you. Yes, it was embarrassing, but he trusted you. The night was still young, but perhaps he'd be able to convince you to go back home, as rude as it would be to the other guests. He mentally blamed himself for having such a low alcohol tolerance. He really wanted to be focused on the party and everything else going on, but the itch inside persisted with determination. He had to get himself together.

Scanning the crowd, your figure managed to hit his eyes just before you emerged from the corridor leading from the bathroom. He approached quickly, pulling you gently onto the side, hidden from the other guests. What was he even gonna say? He looked at you with something akin to fear, gaining a worried head tilt in response.

"Is something wrong?" You asked, fully taking into consideration the way his brows furrowed with anxiety. It was unlike him.

"Um... actually, yeah." He avoided your piercing gaze, uncomfortably scratching the back of his neck. He balanced his weight on his foot, swinging on one side as he tried to push out his next words. His stare bored onto the wall before him, as if looking for the answer that would magically form in it.

"You know how... we- we didn't really do anything, uh, in bed, recently?" He muttered out at just enough volume for you to hear him.

"...Yeah?" You questioned further, cocking your brow.

"I'm- I-" He stuttered, the words just refused to eloquently be put into a clear sentence, "I would- really wanna go home, and... D-Do something about it. Like right now."

You stare added even less confidence to his already tipped off nerves, feeling as if he was just caught robbing a bank, and the surprised chuckle hitting his ears after was just the cherry on top. He was about to sputter more explanatory rambles until he was cut off by the gentle tone of your voice.

"My plan was to throw myself at you right after we arrived home after the party, so I get what you mean." You smiled, amused at the red that coated his cheeks after his confession. "But the party just started-"

"I- I know!" He exclaimed in annoyance, clenching his fists, embarrassed and under the impression you didn't take his words seriously. "But you just look so pretty tonight, and I don't want the others laughing at me when I can't control what my own body does!" He softened his features after a moment, they were harshened by the scrunch of shame on his face.

Tapping his foot as a way to calm himself down, he continued. "It's embarrassing." He muttered, the sentence feeling wrong on his tongue. "I feel like a damn teenager."

"Okay, okay, calm down," you took his face into your hands, reassuring him. "Let me think."

You couldn't deny, you were in a similar situation, but the urge wasn't as strong as Matthew's. You did your best to occupy yourself and wait for the main event later. But now, your boyfriend coming up to you with such a request pushed your lust up to the surface, and you couldn't ignore the thought of doing something right this moment seemed very appealing. Taking a second to respond, you thought of all the possible solutions in your mind. The party was blooming, catching up with the rest of the exes was fun, especially when their personalities shined more with the alcohol added into the mix. You didn't wanna leave yet, but you also didn't wanna go home, you probably wouldn't have the strength to come back, and it would be hard for you to explain your momentary disappearance.

Pouting your lip, you hummed in thought. You knew what you were gonna say was a stupid idea, but you decided to do it anyway. It was worth to get a second opinion.

"...What if we'd be quick about it?"

Matthew's face contorted into shock right after he heard you. "What?" He had to ask, the reply seemed too outrageous to be serious. "Here??"

The bashfulness soon overtook your face, smiling with just a bit of shyness after being met with such a response. "...Yeah. I- kinda wondered how it'd be like." You felt the need to clarify.

"B- But- Won't the others be wondering where we are??" He struggled to keep his composure, his eyes still conveying the everpresent nervousness, yet now also showing something else. Spark of interest, maybe?

"Not if we hurry up. Then we'll say I was getting you some fresh air after you got sick from the alcohol." You made your plan on the spot, an easy excuse.

"Wait, why would I be sick so soon?" He said before fully processing his question. Your look made him quickly rethink your idea. It's true, if anyone at the party were to be sick at the start of it, it would be Matthew. Sighing, he had to agree with you. "Okay, maybe that would work. B-But where...?"

"Hm... The bathroom seems too risky. Someone could come in." Instinctively, you looked both ways, expecting someone to ruin your perfect plan. Thankfully the corridor was still empty and quiet in contrast to the muffled music coming from the end of it.

"...What if we searched for some private room?" Matthew suggested meekly. "Gideon has some of those, right? I saw them... I never knew why does he need so many rooms when he only uses half of them. It just makes the place look bigger than it actually is." He thought, recalling his brief as a CEO.

"No, he keeps them closed," you disappointingly brought up the fact you remembered from working as Gideon's assistant. "But... He doesn't lock his office."

Matthew tilted his head in disbelief. "Really?"

You nodded. "Yeah. I don't really know why, but I've seen him leave it open. He doesn't bother to close them, I always had to do it for him."

"Well- If you think that's a good idea..." He looked around, freshly filled with anticipation. Even though it was a very stupid idea, one that could backfire very easily, you ignored the possible repercussions, mind clouded with adolescent-like excitement of doing something risky.

Taking Matthew's hand, you tried to refresh your memory of a path to Gideon's office. You knew the way pretty well, being forced to go through it everyday back when it was your job to do so. Would it really be so easy? Or would Gideon add to your misfortune by locking the doors on this particular night? Thinking about it, you hardly seen him mingling at the party. He was there for sure, you caught some glimpses of him interacting with other people, but somehow, you and Matthew haven't spoken to him since you entered the building. You really hoped he wouldn't be standing in the doorway, just waiting for you to make the wrong move and enter the room. You decided to blame it on the alcohol paranoia for both of your sake. Even if he did catch you, you could think up some sort of excuse, right? Reaching your hand towards the doorknob, your question was about to be answered.

And... The doors let out a satisfying click. No Gideon in sight upon letting the doors part even more. Sighing with relief, you entered the room. Matthew looked around, familiar with the place. He switched on the lamp laying on Gideon's desk. It provided a dim light, perfect for staying inconspicuous. It shouldn't be as visible from under the doors.

Matthew's sight remained on you, searching for further instructions. He wanted to do everything and nothing at all, the intensity of the situation getting to him. He was nervous, but his mind begged to finally touch you. Deciding to take matters into your own hands, you approached closer, started the fun with a kiss, pressing your lips into him with a hurry in your movements. You had to be quick, after all.

Matthew's muffled moan at the sudden speed sounded beautiful, only fueling your need to have him. He got lightly pressed into a wall, your hand brushed over his chest, feeling it rise and fall rapidly. His hands grabbed your hips, eagerly wanting to feel more of you. No matter where. His touch felt electric, the alcohol only intensified the already steamy moment. Nothing mattered, not even the possibility of being caught, fully covered by the way Matthew's lips felt on yours. It was a thrilling experience, as selfish as it was.

The passionate kisses soon turned into a clumsy dance of tongues, the hesitant yet desperate touches replaced by the need to feel the skin hiding under the fabric of your clothes. The way Matthew squirmed with each brush of your fingers on his bare stomach was intoxicating, even more than the alcohol. It didn't take long for you to feel the noticeable tent poking your leg. Not taking a break from mixing saliva with him, your other hand palmed the neglected spot. He whined, finally feeling a bit of release. He was almost aching, and your hand was just the thing he needed.

Continuously assaulting the place, your lips moved lower, feeling bold enough to take your kisses onto his neck. He shivered, leaning onto the cold wall behind him. His legs felt wobbly and his entire body was on fire. You just knew how to rile him up with almost no effort. Of course, you made sure to not leave any hickeys, or else your story wouldn't be so believable. His nails started to lightly dig into your skin softly, not being able to contain himself when all he perceived was you teasing him. His pelvis moved on it's own, grinding onto your hand with embarrassing need.

Swiftly unbuckling his belt, you reached into his pants. He held back the volume of his sound as he felt you slowly jerk your hand. The stiffness and warmth felt illegal in your grasp, only adding to the fire rising in both of you. He rested his chin onto your shoulder, breathing out almost pornographical, quiet moans into your ear. Alcohol loosened him up to the point even most embarrassing noises travelled across the room. Him turning vocal was a turn on for sure, but you had to remind him of the situation at hand.

"Try to be quieter, love," you whispered, deliberately brushing your thumb over the head.

"Nff," he bit his lip. "Y- You're making it really difficult..."

He took a moment to calm down his panting, huffing out his plea, "...I- I need you so bad."

His words were raw, sincere. You wanted him just as much as he wanted you. Not being able to hold yourself any longer, you grabbed him by the shirt, pulling him onto the chair near the desk.

You got onto his lap, grinding your crotch against his still clothed dick. You just had to get some friction. Matthew grabbed your hips again, panting shallowly as your bodies did the work of granting you pleasure. The spinning chair rocked slightly under your weight, but the thought of it breaking didn't even cross your mind. Hopefully, it wouldn't.

"...H-Hold on, I'll take off my pants." You panted out, feeling your underwear already getting ruined. Well, you'd have to deal with it later. He frantically nodded his head. Getting off of him for a second, you quickly lowered your pants along with your underwear. In the meantime, Matthew made it easier for you by taking himself out of his boxers.

Granted a couple of seconds to take in his environment, he looked around. Was he really gonna do this? Have sex in Gideon's office, while at his party? He once sat in this exact chair, so maybe it wasn't that bad, despite everything? Yeah, no, it was totally out of place. And the worst thing is, he enjoyed this situation. Perhaps it was his ego, poking out from the depths of his drunken mind, as if doing that would show Gideon who's still the boss, or maybe it was the possibility of beight caught, exposed as a pathetic loser who can't keep it in his pants even for a minute. Of course, if only the latter wouldn't destroy his whole reputation. Admitting to himself he had a slight degradation kink sounded much easier while intoxicated.

Getting thrown off from his train of thought by feeling your weight back on him, he let out a soft gasp. All of his previous ruminating being drowned by your body pressing against him, lower half feeling the familiar sensation of your bare skin. Preparing yourself accordingly with a bit of spit, you waited for the moment where you'd finally connect.

With bated breath, Matthew's hands on your hips lowered along with your bottom half. Both of you let out the held back exhales, adjusting to the sudden warmth and pressure. You finally felt him inside. It was wrong, which only added to the intensity of the act. With his mouth parted, Matthew watched as your pelvis moved, slowly at first, gaining speed after some a few humps. It felt good, but it wasn't enough. The pleasure was constant, yet not quick enough for you to achieve your climax in a timely manner under the current circumstances. You cursed mentally, placing both of your hands on Matthew's shoulder for support.

"...We probably should have just gone home," you panted out, not fully regretting your decision, yet suddenly too aware of the potential risk.

"You think?" Matthew deadpanned, not able to stop staring at your moving body. He knew it as well, but wasn't willing to break whatever you two had started.

You chuckled weakly. "Not like I dare to stop now, though..." The situation was bizarre, yet somehow very connecting. Like doing a crime together. Which probably was true. You weren't really sure. At least you weren't doing it in a random stranger's bedroom, but it still spoke poorly of your morality. You'd have to make it up to Gideon somehow, even if preferably, he would never hear about it. It would leave a bad taste in your mouth if you didn't. Even more so considering the fact you used to have a crush on this guy.

"...I love you so much-" You rambled, feeling the need to voice your thoughts. In return, you heard a chuckle of his own, the flustered kind.

"I love you too," he responded with a tired smile on his face, closing his eyes as he tried to focus on the sensations, all too ready for the orgasm to hit him, yet still being so far in sight. "Your body, your everything- You're just, perfect-"

The praise coming from Matthew's mouth pushed you to envelop your lips on his once more, interlocked in a passionate kiss. At least this way both of your moans would be muffled.

Opening up your eyes to an alarming noise, your stare fell onto the door. With the way you were sitting, you had a clear vision, directly at it. And what you saw almost made you faint.

"Yoohoo~ Am I interrupting something?" With an expression that slowly morphed from disinterest to amusement, Gideon leaned against the door frame, arms crossed in an unimpressed display of dominance. He got you. You were officially fucked.

Caught like a mouse in a trap, you felt the lump forming in your throat, stopping you from making any sound. You lifted your hips, too embarrassed to keep sitting on Matthew. His head whipped back the second he heard the familiar voice, even if the chair was covering most of his view.

"GIDEON?!" He shouted, harshly digging his fingers into you out of shock. He could officially die now. He even went as far as to go back to the time they both fought for the league. He had troubles deciding what would be worse, if he would have lost that time, or the exact circumstances he found himself in right now. He should have seen it coming, and he knew that. Only thing he forgot to do was get prepared for this to happen.

Gideon only snickered in return, closing the doors behind him to not make a commotion out of the current conundrum.

"Fuck, Gideon, I-" Your compromised position, still resting on Matthew, only fueled your desire to vanish. "W-We're so sorry, we shouldn't-"

Seeing the smug smile on his face felt even worse than being outright yelled at. That meant he enjoyed seeing you struggle, and you knew it. But maybe if he wasn't mad, the outcome wouldn't be as punishing as you initially expected.

"I see you both really enjoy the party, huh?" He clicked degradingly with his tongue, getting closer to the chair you occupied. "I really didn't take you'd have that much audacity, yet here we are."

You didn't really know what to do. Should you get up? The way you sat made you somewhat covered, with your bodies bent in a way that would hide at least a bit of the shameful display away from Gideon, mostly thanks to the chair's back.

"We- I'm sorry, we will see ourselves out," you submissively admitted your defeat, not wanting to be put on the spot anymore. You lost. Preparing for the shameful scurry, you tried to get off the chair.

"Hey, hey, why the rush?" He leaned his hand on the top of it, looking you straight in the face as he narrowed his eyes with a grin that fully expressed the power he had over you right now. Matthew flinched. It felt like a life and death situation, even if you had a spark of hope Gideon would take mercy on you and not babble about it to the whole crew. You learned your lesson. "Didn't the fun just start?"

You were flabbergasted. Did you understand him right? Did he know how long you two were here? Did he see you both coming here and decided to just... not do anything?

"...What?" You said, anxious for the other man's response.

The confidence in his chuckle made you feel even smaller than before. "Oh, lovebirds, nothing goes unnoticed by me in here. I own this place."

"B-But how-" You meekly continued, too shocked to stop the words from spilling.

"Cameras, baby." His response was too quick and nonchalant for your liking.

"In here??" You almost shouted back, feeling Matthew tensing underneath you. He let you continue the convo, too stunned to voice his own thoughts.

"There's no need for shouting. Yes, in here." He emphasized the last words. "I keep all the corners of my facilities covered."

Physically, you felt really warm. Not only from the blood rushing to your cheeks, but your whole body felt painfully hot. Like riding a rollercoaster and plummeting down. The time felt like it stopped, dreadfully extending each second. Getting caught by Gideon with no evidence of it happening was bad enough, but having it recorded was crossing the line. You knew Gideon, and it was obvious to you how serious this situation could be. He was an asshole. Getting blackmailed with a sextape was not something you fancied on a stupid Friday night. However, you were strongly prepared for this reality to become true with the next sentence that would fall out of his mouth.

"Y- You can't!" Matthew suddenly spoke up, not as worried for himself as he was for you. He could not let this happen. "Don't you dare show it to anyone! I'm serious!" He threatened, fully aware how little his words would affect Gideon's already established plan.

"Woah, buddy, calm down." He looked down, towering above the sitting Matthew. "I'm not here to blackmail you or anything. Don't worry, I'll make sure no one will be able to see your moment of weakness."

"Y- You're not?" You said with hesitance, not fully trusting Gideon was telling the truth.

"Even though you massively disrespected me with your little mishap here, I'm willing to forgive and forget. Let bygones be bygones, you know? I'm not such a bad guy, after all." He spoke effortlessly, staring at your slowly changing expression as he explained.

"So- You're just gonna let us go and delete the recording, like that?" You dared to ask.

"Just so we're clear. I didn't do anything for this to happen. That's all on you. Clearly, I'm the victim in this situation. So, I think a favor would be fine for me to ask in return, don't you think?" He smirked, knowing how much of your attention clung to the words he was saying.

"What favor?" Matthew asked, staring at Gideon warily from his compromised position. His imagination ran wild with all the things Gideon could force you to do, and it wasn't pretty. Even though all of the exes, specifically Matthew and Gideon, were now friends, he knew how far Gideon could go to humiliate someone that went against him.

"Oh, I don't know, some favor I'll think of in the near future. Whenever I'll need something from either of you." He stopped for dramatics, seeing how the cogs in your brain turned. "Or, we could all do something about it today and move on with our lives. Your choice, really." He shrugged, leaving you the time to process what he just said.

"What? What do you mean, do something today?" You asked, almost too afraid to speculate.

The light reflected in Gideon's glasses, accentuating his growing, cocky grin. "Let me join the fun."

The moment Gideon finally disclosed what was on his mind would probably stay with you until your death. Both you and Matthew had to process what was being said to you. Did Gideon just offer to have a damn threesome?

"Tick-tock, sweethearts, I still plan to get back to the party." He obnoxiously looked at the nonexistent watch on his wrist.

Matthew's lips felt dry, but he was finally able to utter something back, escaping the incapacitating shock that held him previously.

"I won't do anything Y/N isn't okay with!" He furrowed his brows and rushed with his response, expectantly looking at you after. Not being comfortable with the sudden spotlight thrown at you, you spoke just as quickly.

"I-" The words stuck in your throat, the situation turning into a different shade of stressful.

It'd be a lie if you said you didn't imagine fucking your former boss, as much as that thought embarrassed you while working for him. He was chasing Ramona, not you. Having a crush on a person who wasn't interested was pathetic enough, so you just muted this part of you. Not like you believed Gideon could sincerely reciprocate the affection, there would be an obvious power imbalance. Then things changed, you got to know Matthew, he made you feel all bubbly inside, and there was no shame that came with that. You stopped working for him as soon as you both started dating. Gideon fell from his first place as your love interest, and now, he was offering you the thing you'd accept in a heartbeat not that long ago? The fate played tricks on you. The trick being, you were inclined to accept. It would probably be the first and last time you ever got to fulfill this wish of yours, as bad as the current circumstances were. Perhaps it was due to the alcohol, or maybe the relief knowing you weren't completely screwed that made you more susceptible to his suggestion. The only thing that worried you was how Matthew would react. Would he take it as breaking his trust? You still loved him, more than your silly fantasy of fucking Gideon, and you had to make sure you were on the same page

"W-Well, how about you?" You looked at him, avoiding the obvious elephant in the room regarding this question. "Would you be fine with this?"

His mouth remained opened for a brief while before he put his vocal chords to use. "I- If you are, then... I guess I would be inclined to do it... too." He said, or moreso asked, not totally sure of the words spilling out of him. His sight nervously jumped around, not focusing on anything else in particular. He wanted it too, yet shared a similar worry.

"Are you sure? Like, honestly sure?" Your gaze remained on Matthew, searching for any sign of being pushed. He was your biggest fan and would even punch the 3rd hole in the moon if only you asked for it, so you knew how much power your opinion in the situation mattered. However, you did not want him to feel forced with the decision, only because you wanted to experiment.

He swallowed a hefty dose of saliva before replying. "Yes, I'm sure. It'd be just a favor, like Gideon said, right...?"

"No strings attached. I wouldn't want to cause problems in your lovely relationship. Think of it as a... bonding experience. For all of us." Gideon coaxed, a sly grin remained on his face. He knew he would get what he wants.

You coughed awkwardly, trying to clear your throat. "Well- I- I guess, then... we... accept...? I-If we can stop at any time." It was hard to formulate words when the emotions raced like wild horses. Was it excitement, anticipation, fear, both?

"Oh, of course, that goes without saying," he purred, lightly leaning with both hands on the chair you both sat on.

"Well, now that it's established... Get the hell off my chair." His tone changed into a harsh annoyance, forcing you both to finally stand up. "I will hold you accountable if you break it."

Both of you uttered a quiet and hurried sorry, standing out like sore thumbs, halfly naked. Neither of you knew what to do, pushing Gideon to do something about it. He considered your lack of direction pathetic, but cute with how easy it would be to mold you. He thrived on telling people what to do. Coming closer to his desk, he looked at the papers laying on it's available surface before throwing them off of it with a quick swipe of his hand. Guess they weren't that important.

He patted the now unobstructed space on the desk. "Y/N, if you would."

Halfly unsure, you trusted your reasoning that he wanted you to sit on it. It was a correct assumption. Gideon went behind it, facing your back. Matthew watched, trying to decode what he had in mind. Suddenly, Gideon grabbed your shoulders, swiftly pulling you to lay on your back. Seeing the ceiling made you flinch, until Gideon made an effort to explain what's happening.

"You, pretty thing, don't have to do anything. Just stay still." He looked at you from above, enjoying to the fullest the way you reacted to his pet-name. "Your boyfriend will take care of you, won't he?" He looked at Matthew, who felt more than clueless.

He was just in the middle of fucking you, but felt too embarrassed to continue doing it while Gideon was watching. He knew he would get carried away with his sounds if he did so, and it was too early into your newly formed situationship for him to be comfortable enough to do so.

"...C- Can I at least sit on the chair?" He asked meekly, already settled on what he was about to do.

Gideon raised his brow, thinking about it for a moment before he allowed it with a brief nod of his head. "Go ahead."

Spreading your legs, Matthew scooted closer, now sitting comfortably on the cursed chair that would surely fall apart any minute, if only Gideon hadn't stopped you in time. At least that's what his thought process was with how fearful Gideon's words made him about it.

"...What are you- Oh-" You were about to ask, until you felt Matthew's tongue brush against your groin. Feeling the kitten licks starting to build up something in your abdomen made your face contort into expressions you were too embarrassed to think about in Gideon's presence. You had to hold yourself back from squirming. Gideon, on the other hand, was clearly pleased with the action happening before his eyes. Hearing the faint sounds of a belt being messed with, it didn't take you long to notice his almost fully standing erection pressing against your cheek. It seemed pretty big, at least from the upside down angle. Did he get excited in such a short span of time or did you just not notice it before?

"I don't think I have to tell you what to do?" Gideon looked at you expectantly, adjusting himself so he'd have an easy access to your mouth. Hesitantly, you parted your lips. He shoved himself into you, slowly at first. He thrusted his hips, exhaling contently as your mouth covered half of dick. Saliva pooled at the corner of your lips, it was hard to focus on correct breathing while Matthew busied himself between your legs. Fortunately, Gideon was kind enough to notice that, not pushing you too much in the moment where you were still acquainting yourself with the situation.

Matthew occupied his whole attention with making sure he was pleasing you right, even if Gideon using you at the same time was making him emotions he didn't think he had in himself. He didn't even touch himself, as if waiting for someone's (this someone being Gideon) permission to do it. He wanted to be good. Hearing your soft, muffled moans sent jolts of electricity right to his dick, which was just begging to be touched - a big contrast to how not too long ago it threatened to get flaccid.

Feeling the licks of Matthew's tongue on your sensitive nerves while having your mouth used felt almost overstimulating. You let out weak whimpers, not able to control the sounds escaping you. Gideon, seeing how much you've grown accustomed to the manhandling, let himself increase the pace, shoving his cock an inch deeper with each roll of his hips. You closed your eyes, fully letting both boys work their way towards your orgasm. As much as it was degrading, you liked how Gideon took charge. You didn't really have that experience with Matthew, as your sex was usually pretty vanilla and passionate, mostly from his side.

Not stopping his movements, Gideon kept his composure while speaking up.

"Enjoying yourself?" He looked at your face, seeing how you opened your eyes once he started talking, "I knew this was what you wanted."

Of course, with mouth full of dick, you weren't really in a position to respond, nor wanted to give him the satisfaction of your honest opinion.

"Even when you were working for me. You probably wished this happened sooner, huh? On this desk." He pushed himself deeper. "I've seen you staring at me with those eyes." He mused, moreso to himself.

Matthew raised his head a bit, hearing Gideon's rambling was pushing it a bit, given both you and him were now in a relationship. Gideon noticed this little change of scenery, and was quick to add,

"Don't worry, Matthew. Y/N isn't the only one I had my eyes on." He shot him a knowing glance, the sentence rolling off his tongue effortlessly. He had no trace of embarrassment on his face, fully knowing the outcome of his confession.

Unsure what to do with this unexpected information, Matthew opted for burying his head between your thighs once more, blush coating his cheeks. He wanted to argue, to say Gideon's flattery wouldn't work on him, but unfortunately, it did. Even though he felt jealous, he let it slide. Gideon noticed that, feeling his grin grow wider. He had both of you right where he wanted, and it only added to his ego.

You didn't have time to ponder his words, nearing closer to the finish. The wet sounds, the speed at which Gideon and Matthew were going, it was all just too much. Matthew insisted on licking that one, particular spot that quickly rose the tension in your muscles. Your legs began to shake, your whole body squirmed on that wooden desk. Gideon saw the opportunity to hear your moan, unobstructed, quickly pulling himself out of your lips. You'd be embarrassed at the sound that just left out of you if it didn't feel so damn good in the moment.

Matthew wiped his mouth, now covered in your essence. He was embarrassed at how hard he was, especially with Gideon there to witness it. The only hearable sound was your labored breathing, slowly coming off the high that hit you so strongly just a second ago. Staring at the ceiling, Gideon made it hard for you to avoid his grin.

"Now didn't that feel good, sweetie?" The way he was looking at you made you feel ashamed, but the words coming specifically from him also added something else. A thrill? It still felt wrong, but somehow, you enjoyed this. It was a break from the norm, which was probably why the whole experience felt so ecstatic.

"Mattie, give back Y/N the chair. They're probably exhausted." You weren't sure if Gideon's care for you was sincere, but he was right. You were exhausted.

Matthew got up with some hesitation, the spotlight now embarrassingly thrown at his still aching erection. You had some troubles when your foot touched the ground, getting to your seat with wobbly legs. It was probably one of the best orgasms you had in a while.

"Sit down." He patted the same place you were in not too long ago, signaling for Matthew to switch places with you.

He meekly obeyed, sitting on the desk. He didn't know what plans Gideon had prepared for him, but at this point, he was willing to do anything to get off. With tensed shoulders, his sight dug a hole in Gideon's face, only showing the everpresent satisfaction of the effects he had on both of you. With a swift motion of his hand, he reached for Matthew's dick, starting with rapid jerks. Matthew's response was an alarmed gasp. Seeing Gideon go easy on you made him drop his guard, which had him totally unprepared for his turn to be so intense. His fingers grabbed the corners of the desk, curling.

"...N-Not so fast!" He managed to squeak through gritted teeth, his bangs briefly falling on half of his face. Surprisingly, Gideon listened, slowing down to a sensual up and down movement. He got to hear the sweet sound of Matthew's surprise, free to continue with his pace now. He mostly focused on brushing his thumb against Matthew's tip, feeling the gross precum coating his skin. That did the trick, getting Matthew's moans to shine through. He tried to stop them, to no success. Gideon got closer in between his legs, and Matthew couldn't help but briefly close them around his waist, squirming with each stroke of his palm.

Getting jerked off while in your presence, by another person, letting the slutty, embarrassing noises were enough for Matthew to feel guilty, even if all of you agreed to this sudden fun. He knew that his decision to proceed with the events was not random. Gideon was someone he used to admire, right until he lost the fight for everything that he owned. In that moment, he knew he was above him. He proved it by winning the fight, fair and square. Yet still, there was something lingering in the back of his mind. A foolish desire to feel the same adrenaline he felt while throwing punches at him. Only now he fully realized it wasn't completely about the fighting.

You thought seeing Gideon take care of Matthew would wound your pride much more, to see your boyfriend intertwined with another man, but it was more so fear of missing out. You already exhausted your body enough, though. Even if there was still some jealousy involved, it was certainly less than what you originally expected. It all got clouded by how cute Matthew looked in the current moment. It was easy to see how he fell apart with Gideon's touches. He just had a way of getting into people's heads, even without the use of his Glow. Besides, seeing two boys you considered attractive, entangled in the fun you also experienced not too long ago? It was hot. Seeing Matthew come apart, was hot. Perhaps it was the alcohol speaking, but you weren't against it happening again, sometime.

Although Matthew was in no position to complain, being given gratification with each jerk of Gideon's wrist, he couldn't help but notice Gideon's fully visible erection as well. He wondered, why didn't he do anything about it? How much did he plan to prolong the fun? His speed, even though slow, per his request, was painfully taunting. He knew Gideon had something else in mind, which is why he dared to ask,

"Wh... Why aren't you..." His eyes fell upon Gideon's crotch, leaving no room to debate what his question was about.

"Aw, worried about me getting off Mattie? How considerate of you." He chuckled, his ego growing. As if on command, he raised his unoccupied arm, aligning their members together. Matthew gasped at the sudden warmth pressing against him, feeling way too intimate with the position.

"W-what are y- ah!" He squeaked, feeling the way Gideon wrapped his hand around both of their dicks, increasing the speed to his liking.

"Didn't want to overstimulate you too soon," he huffed out, "but I see you're eager."

Matthew's legs clasped around Gideon even tighter, not being able to keep himself from spilling all the shameful moans. He closed his eyes, not wanting to think how pathetic he must have looked to you. Gideon added another wave of sensations by grinding his hips, helping himself get off faster. He was into rough play, opposite to Matthew, who was slowly losing control with how fast it all unravelled.

"G-Gideon, y-you're going too fast-" he whined, yet wouldn't dare do anything to stop the man's actions. Hearing the sweet sound of his name rolling off Matthew's tongue only fueled his desire to pick up the pace.

"Don't lie," he inched closer towards Matthew's ear, whispering his next sentence, "you're enjoying this just as much as I am."

"Fffuck-" He cursed, feeling the brush of Gideon's tongue on his neck. He could only hope he wouldn't be so bold as to leave hickeys on his skin. That would be crossing the line.

Seeing and hearing the two boys in the middle of their fun made you feel wet again. Were you being a voyeur? Probably, even if all of you were entangled in this. Nonetheless, your hand lowered down to your groin once more, not being able to hold yourself back from the shameful urge. Thankfully, the boys were too occupied with themselves to notice.

The desk began to move rhythmically, shaking just like Matthew's legs. He was on the brink of exploding, as did Gideon. Eyeliner began to spill down Matthew's cheek, the act too intense for the tears to be held back. He let out a choked gasp right before a string of white flew into the air, dirtying Gideon's still moving hand in the process. He wasn't done yet, ignoring the mess and nearing even closer, faintly leaning against Matthew's chest. He grabbed Gideon's arms, digging his fingers into the white sleeves.

"Gideon-!" He whimpered, the pressure on his still sensitive dick drove him crazy. Gideon ignored his plea, too focused on chasing his own climax.

Hopefully, with Matthew's mind occupied, he wouldn't notice you nearing your own orgasm on par with Gideon. With both of their labored breathing, you felt it just around the corner, which added another form of stimulation. You'd come at the same time with Gideon. The thought pushed you to quicken the movements of your hand, all too eager for it to hit you. Hearing a content groan coming from Gideon's mouth, he slowed down his movements, his dick sliding up and down, until it finally rested still in his hand. He leaned his chin on Matthew's shoulder, panting like a dog into his ear, and Matthew was no different.

Given a moment to gather his thoughts, Matthew heard your stifled moan, feeling the blood rush to his cheeks. Oh. You were having your fun too. He felt coy realizing what drove your actions.

Gideon soon retracted away from Matthew, feeling the sweat cling uncomfortably to his fancy clothes. He couldn't wait to take a shower, and so did both of you. Unfortunately, there was none available at the moment. The other guests would just have to excuse your messy states. At least Gideon was kind enough to provide you some tissues. All of you silently agreed the fun time was over, making yourself decent before exiting the room. He locked it this time.

"I suppose this concludes your part of the deal." He spoke nonchalantly while briefly fixing his clothes. He also took out a comb out of his pocket to make his hair look less messy, yet didn't bother to share it - brushing his hair after you used it would be crossing the line.

"How about your part of the deal?" You looked at Gideon, Matthew joining your stare. You had to make sure he would upkeep his promise of deleting the video.

"Don't worry, I remember our arrangement." He lazily took out his phone, the app showing a name of the camera in his office. Thankfully you didn't have to cringe at your compromised position on a little image preview, as there was no visible thumbnail.

"Unless you want me to send you the video first?" He teased, although it wasn't clear whether his words were just to bait your reaction.

Both you and Matthew spoke hurriedly in unison "NO."

"That- won't be necessary." The awkward grin forced itself on your face. He only snickered, pressing the delete button. You watched as a little popup appeared, text "video deleted" fully on display. That calmed down your nerves substantially.

"Well then, if that's all, you may be excused. Feel free to enjoy the rest of the party." He turned on his heel, intending to go back to the bar, but not before inserting a quick quip. "I'd recommend asking someone for a comb though, your hair looks really messy."

You chose to use your well trained patience and not respond anything back, too tired to start anything. Matthew just sighed heavily in annoyance, following your steps of keeping quiet.

Abruptly facing you one last time before heading off, Gideon spoke again. "Oh, and if you ever feel like trying to fuck in my office again, try asking me first, hm?" He half-closed his eyes, looking at you for a moment with a sickeningly sweet expression. Then, he left you no room to respond, already trailing back to the party.

Your stare met at the same time with Matthew's, mostly just appalled. You actually didn't have a clue if it was a warning, or his way of inviting you to another session of...

"What the hell was that?" Matthew finally spoke with both amusement and shock in his voice.

"I- I don't know?" You reciprocated the intense emotions in your tone. "But... It- it wasn't that bad...? I mean, I was terrified at first, but- I'm not traumatised?" The confused laugh fell out of you, probably the adrenaline.

"Well- yeah... I mean- at least Gideon is an attractive guy-" He hesitantly spilled out his thoughts, an embarrassed grin present on his face.

"Oh, so you think that too?"

"Wh- O- Of course I do! I mean- I wouldn't consider it otherwise!" His cheeks instantly turned redder.

The sound of your soft chuckle managed to calm him down. "Well- I'm glad we both got to experience it."

[linkspooky]

hi Spooky! I just read your meta about Gojo's motivation in the fight and you brought up interesting points.

I thought Gojo was fighting in a way that he's trying to save Megumi, because if Gojo is really trying to eliminate Sukuna for good he would go for the most fatal blow, the brain, he knows that Sukuna can still come back even without heart (lungs and liver)... so I thought Gojo is probably trying to weaken Sukuna to "make room" for Megumi. Even if his facade is "carefree", at first he already warned Sukuna that he won't hold back, he seemed worried when he realized that Megumi is the one that got hit by UV. But now I'm worried about his character growth, is it like he's decreasing? or at least he's not showing something better than the Gojo who killed Toji - teen Gojo; what happened to the Gojo that claims to protect his students' youth and who is supposed to be the "good guy" in this fight...

I still think Gojo is fighting with the belief he can revive Megumi after he takes down Sukuna, but I agree with you anon his attitude towards the fight shows his lack of growth after Toji. Not only does Gojo reference Toji a couple of times like the battle is still fresh on his mind but his emotional state resembles the way he was when he fought Toji post-awakening as the "strongest." It wasn't just a happy-go-lucky facade at that point Gojo stated in his internal narration he wasn't fighting to avenge Riko: it really was just about defeating Toji and using his newfound power to reach his full potential.

It's understandable Gojo reacted that way in the moment though. He's seventeen, and it's probably alienating to have that much power thrust on your shoulders at seventeen. However, Gojo shows a clear lack of progress since that battle. Eleven years have passed since the battle with Toji, and Gojo's kind of trapped there mentally. He's still fighting for the same reasons he fought against Toji. Those lines could be applied to how he feels via Sukuna's possession of Megumi.

"Right now I'm not angry for you. Nor do I feel vengeful toward anyone. Right now, it's just that everything feels right."

Word of god supports this: Gege was asked directly if Gojo matured after the battle with Toji, and Gege explained instead of maturing he left the decision making up to Geto.

This is pretty consistent with Gojo and Geto's foiling with one another. Geto tends to be a deeply self-reflective character almost to a fault. While I'd argue that while Gojo is known by the fandom as the more selfish one, he is oddly someone who doesn't self reflect at all.

We know far more about Geto's internal world and how he sees things because of his internal narration. Honestly, if you compare the short time he's a focus character in Hidden Inventory to the entire rest of the manga Gojo receives a lot less internal dialogue. When Gojo does have internal narration it's almost always just him strategizing for a fight. He doesn't have the same richly developed internal world that Geto has because he doesn't really think or reflect on those things. When he does give insight to himself and his belief it's almost always himself talking aloud to other people.

Which neatly dovetails into my next topic re: Gojo's tendency to mask his true emotions under a light-hearted facade. I think it's inarguable he does that, Gojo was acting happy-go-lucky in front of his students about five minutes after killing Geto. Geto commented in the beach scene in Okinawa that Gojo goofing around on the beach was his way of being considerate to Amanai, and that while pretending to be carefree he'd been exhausting himself keeping the limiitless active for days not even sleeping. Gojo even downplays the burden of that in front of Geto, the one person he allows himself to be vulernable with.

However, I don't think Gojo's tendency to mask his true emotions is because he's crying on the inside during his fight with Megumi and at some point he's going to have an emotional breakdown over it. That interpretation I think comes from the fandom's tendency to woobify Gojo because they want to make him a more relatable and easy to understand character when Gojo is supposed to be alienating and off-putting.

He's an exploration of what being the strongest would due to a person's mind, and how much that would alienate a person from the people around him. Gojo's defined by his inability to relate to others, especially the people he finds as weak so it only makes sense he'd process his emotions in a way that's different from most people.

If people learn and grow and change by their interaction with others, then Gojo who's very cursed technique itself makes it so nobody can ever touch him unless he wants them too does not interact with others and therefore does not change.

It's interesting if you look at things from a budhhist perspective, because there are heavy themes of budhism present in the text of JJK itself. Let's say that Gojo attained enlightenment at seventeen. If he's already enlightened then why would he need to grow any more past that point? The ultimate goal of budhism is to escape the cycle of karma entirely, so from that perspective Gojo untethering himself from the world and earthly concerns and other people is his ideal endpoint.

On the other hand Gojo is like a person living in the world - he eats takeout, goes out drinking with his friends, has a job, pays his taxes. He didn't escape life and worldly concerns, because life went on, he's still living in the world and eleven years has passed since the moment he "attained enlightenment."

If he's already enlightened then he shouldn't need to grow, but considering hes still living in the world you need to grow and change with the world and people around you otherwise you're going to be left behind.

From what we've seen in canon Gojo changed a little bit. His ideals changed in the fact he adopted Geto's sense of responsibility and judgement of good and evil. He also witnessed Geto's fall and lost his friendship which is clearly what influences his current beliefs on wanting to protect the childhood of sorcerers, and that there's something rotten about the Jujutsu Society surrounding him.

I don't mean to say that every change in Gojo's life comes from Geto, but rather Gojo's current sense of beliefs are based around what happened to him in his youth. He wants to protect children because his youth was ruined. If Geto never fell and became a curse user would Gojo see anything wrong with the current system worth rebelling over?

Put better in another better meta here.

Still, my point is that... Gojo simply never cared enough about things like ideology. [...] He tried to internalize Geto’s original values of protecting the weak since he could sense some merit to them, finding joy in entertaining Riko and later his students, but he completely missed the reasoning behind those values. This is why he spouted all those things about not saving/reaching Geto (without having attempted it in the first place) and about becoming a teacher to prevent young sorcerers from missing out on their youth (immediately going to indoctrinate young Megumi into their messed up system as a pretext of saving him from the Zenins. [...] The only way he can empathize with them is by remembering what he himself enjoyed in his youth, that being companionship with his bff and his growing power. And when some of them don’t show interest in that (like poor fucking Megumi) Gojo is simply not interested in exploring alternatives.  To him, it’s not a question of ‘why’, it never was.

Gojo is extreemly self-oriented in all the good and bad that entails. Good because it makes him an extremely strong, and self confident individual that allows him to pursue those ideals (and his ideals are still pretty good) bad because he easily loses sight of other people's feelings.

A gojo who truly changed after the fight with Toji would have reached out to Megumi in an attempt to break the cycle that started with the Zen'ins abuse of TOji. A true example of being the bigger man by going out of his way to help the son of a man who in a lot of ways caused permanent damage to his life and the people around him.

However, that's blatantly not what Gojo did. Once again we have Word of God on this.

Gojo hasn't matured past his mindset of seeing people in terms of "strong and weak" and as a natural extension of that he tends to treat the same kids he's trying to help as assets so he's not living up to his desire to be the responsible adult in their lives. Because he's not really an adult. His growth stopped in the fight with Toji.

Gojo's solution to the problem of Jujutsu Society's use of child soldiers and treating children as expendable is... to create stronger child soldiers. I don't think Gojo does this maliciously, it's just he has no self-awareness whatsoever. He is Jujutsu Society's ideal and constantly praised as such and because of that can't see the flaws in his own ideology and actions. That's also the way Gojo was raised, pushed to be the strongest and to build his entire life and self-worth around being the strongest he can be. People who lack self-awareness tend to unsconiously recreate the circumstances under which they were raised because it's familiar to them. Do unto others what was done unto you.

To return to my original topic though Gojo has a tendency to make his true emotions but I don't think it's done because he's secretly crying on the inside.

I think Gojo's complete lack of reaction to Nanami's death was his genuine reaction. He's not putting on a brave face or anything. He probably does care that Nanami died, but this is just how Gojo processes his emotions. I also think there's a couple of times where Gojo is disturbed during the fight against Megumi such as when Sukuna used Megumi as a shield for the limitless, but at the same time he's clearly having the time of his life with this fight.

I don't think he's faking that. He shouldn't really be enjoying this battle because there are simply more important things right now than whether or not Gojo finally gets to have fun in a fight and be challenged against someone who's his equal - but apparently Gojo didn't get that memo.

Gojo is probably masking his emotions to some extent, but there's a difference between text (what is stated) and subtext (what is not stated and instead relies on reader interpretation). Gojo visibly enjoying himself in the fight is direct text. Gojo announces out loud that he has no problem beating up Megumi, the narration tells us that Gojo is feeling deeply satisfied with this fight.

While characters do sometimes hide their feelings and lie, and narrators are sometimes reliable, subtext is still an interpretation and it doesn't trump what is directly stated by the work.

The text has already told us directly that number one Gojo doesn't feel any hesitation to fight Megumi, and number two Gojo's first priority is winning and his second priority is worrying about Megumi.

Anything that contradicts that is fandom interpretation of the text. I don't think Gege is trying to pull a fast one or unreliable narrator trick here. Gege has always been blatantly honest about Gojo's flaws as a character, hence why I constantly cite his responses in interviews.

I think it's Gege's intention here to show us how Gojo's priorities are eschewed. You can make an argument that Gojo has to worry about defeating Sukuna first above everything else because of utiliarian reasons. If he loses here then everyone else dies. He may have to sacrifice Megumi to stop Sukuna from killing anyone else.

However, those utilitarian reasons are in direct opposition to Gojo's ideals. Gojo wants to create a world where children aren't sacrificed for the common good. In Gojo's ideals chidlren shouldn't be sarificed for adults, but rather it's adults who should protect children so they can live out their youths. If Gojo fails to protect Megumi here he's going back on everything he supposedly stands for.

So while you can make an argument pragmatically Gojo has to worry about winning the fight first. Idealistically he should be fighting to save Megumi, not to win against Sukuna. However, he's not doing that. By having him care more about the fight itself then Megumi, it shows that Gojo's pragmatism often is in conflict with his own idealism. Which is something we've always known about his character. He wants to help kids but at the same time he's using them as tools to further his own agenda.

Again a lot of Gojo's flaws arise from his own lack of self-awareness. Gojo does conceal his own emotions a lot, but I don't think he's hiding a crying child inside. Instead it's more like he's so alienated from both the people around him and his own emotions that he can't process them or self reflect.

Gojo is blind in a lot of ways, like it's made clear by Shoko that Gojo's isolation doesn't just come from being the strongest. There are people around him actively trying to connect with him and Gojo just kind of ignores them because he's too caught up in the idea that only someone like Geto who was as strong as he was could ever understand him.

Gojo doesn't show his own emotions or make deep emotional connections with others because he probably doesn't understand those emotions himself. He's not only alienated himself from the people around him, but he's alienated himself from his own feelings to such an extent that even when he does care it's difficult for him to show it.

[awinterrosesstuff]

Hiruzen Sarutobi... or the character that confuses me the most. I don't know what to make of him. Let me explay you why.

When we're introduced to him, he's pretty old, wise and powerful. He even seens nice. He is amused by Naruto's antics. You want to sympathise with him. And honestly why not ? There are things that infuriate me during the chunin exams (the fact it even exists). Then you have his ending. It's executed very well. I did find it badass. You see his regrets, his weaknesses (with Orochimaru), his summon clearly tells him he's weak or pathetic (I can't remember the word) but he does the sacrifice. You can see it's very difficult for him, he struggles a lot. During the chunin exams, we get to see how scary Orochimaru is. Everything is made to show that Hiruzen was very powerful in his days and became weak with getting old. But still, he does his best and makes the sacrifice with the hope of a better future. Plus the fight between Gaara and Naruto does a great work as a parallel of this one.

It's actually interesting to see that even if Hiruzen can be powerful and brave, he can be very weak and a coward in so many ways. You do see it with Orochimaru, but also with how he lets Danzo do whatever he wants, and how he lets the villagers and everyone in Konoha treats Naruto like shit. It doesn't show him in a positive way obviously, but it makes him interesting, even human I'd say. But I have a main beef with him or the way he's written.

I think his role is never properly adressed in everything that went wrong in Konoha. Danzo and Orochimaru are treated as the villains they are. The narrative put the blame on Danzo for the Uchiha massacre - as it needed. But it kind of forgets Hiruzen in the process.

Sasuke, when he ressurects the kages with Orochimaru's help, questions him. And he's fucking right to do it. Why did the hokage let the massacre happen ? We're said that Danzo ordered the massacre and manipulated Itachi in doing it. But what about Hiruzen ? We get to learn that he wanted a diplomatic solution, but never had the occasion to find it. Is it because he didn't really bother or because Danzo didn't take his decision in consideration ? Probably a bit of both. But why did Danzo have such power in the first place ? Because Hiruzen is a coward. That's it. But the narrative doesn't really blame him, as if he's supposed to be the good "guy". We even have Minato put the blame on himself. And I was like "what ?". Minato has faults, that's not the subject. But the massacre happened because Hiruzen didn't do his job (protecting his villagers). I would have prefered if Hiruzen was clearly blamed for it. And it's actually insulting for Sasuke who is just there to be honest.

I'd like to add Hiruzen letting Danzo do everything he wanted (like having his fucking army) did cause problems to other persons. Kabuto and Sai come to mind.

I want to talk about Naruto. It's never (but really never) adressed that Hiruzen failed Naruto. The boy was ostracised because he was the host of Kurama... and what did Hiruzen do ? I'm not saying he should have adopted him... but he could have done more (like finding him a family). And the secret was obviously revealed, or no adult would know Naruto had Kurama sealed in him. Hiruzen was the one with the power there, he could have done something more. Well, what really bothers me is the fact that it's not said that Hiruzen failed to keep his promise and to protect Naruto, the jinchuriki of his village. Naruto never had the opportunity to do. He's angry against the villagers, but never the hokage. And I do find it weird. The narrative could have so easily done it. It would have even been better for Naruto's dream.

He wants to be hokage to protect his friends, and his village. That's great. But imagine if Naruto said something like "I will find ways to be better than Hiruzen. I don't want the children to be treated like they were during his time". It could have been a parallel to his resolve at the ending of Zabuza arc when he says he wants to find his nindo and be the ninja he wants (not the other way around). It's badly written, but do you get the message ?

Anyway... I do believe Hiruzen could be a great character if he wasn't praised so much in the manga. And I hope I made my opinion clear with this post.

[karlachbrainrot]

Hiiii I haven’t requested shit like this in ages lmfao, I have a Tav who’s a Changeling Blade singer wizard who’s romancing Karlach and Shadowheart.

I’d like to hear some headcanons on how these two would react (separately or together, I don’t mind) to this sweet Changeling in the beginning who, so painfully obviously, has a crush on em. She’s not exactly subtle lol, she’s just a sapphic disaster.

She’s good aligned with a background of a runaway noble turned entertainer. She’s a very musical and performance based character, and is surprisingly honest and anxious.

If you need more info feel free to shoot me a message, also take your time! Always take care of yourself love! ^^

@mythic-siren mmmmmmyyyyyyyyyyeaaas! Changelings are definitely one of my favorite races in D&D after watching a VOD like 5 years ago where one of the main characters was playing on, and when it was revealed- mind blown. Let's get into it shall we?

Shadowheart's first impressions

When thinking about our almighty Shar worshipping Cleric who secretly has a sweet-heart (pun intended). I would picture her looking at this girl who's not so shy with her emotions and nearly doubling over herself. There were probably many nights she spent in her own tent dealing with the unhealing wound sending pain up her arm whenever she thought about initiating something with Tav, and probably struggled inside and out when deciding to ask her to share a bottle of wine. Whether she remembers it or not- Tav probably reminds her of herself. Constantly changing on the outside, but at the core being someone overly sweet and considerate of others. Wanting them to find their best selves.

Karlach's First Impressions

On Karlach's end of things- she probably had a soft spot for Tav right away. Especially with how they backed her up when Wyll wanted to kill her outright. And of course while she has her moments of being oblivious and even child-like, she's not blind she knows Tav's got a thing for her. Though it probably didn't hit her over the head just how much she had a thing for Tav- until she saw her in combat for the first time. Magic and melee combat whoo-boy. That definitely gets things kicked up another notch for her. I can see her doing laps around camp talking to herself about Tav about how to go about this before she gets her engine upgrades. If she even says anything, acts on it- I mean it's not like she can touch Tav- but shit. To meet someone coming out of the hells who's genuinely kind, and up front on honest- it'd send her swooning.

Together

Now I figure the whole romance plot goes a bit something like this- before the tiefling party even happens, and before Karlach has realized her extent of feelings for Tav- Shadowheart finally caves to wanting to know more about Tav. Inviting her to split a bottle while overlooking the cliffside. There's just something about the way that Tav composes herself, seemingly so confident in herself when dealing with others- but how she seems so nervous around their companions she finds incredibly endearing- that she's just, to the point where she needs to know more. The conversation goes as well as you could expect with Tav tripping over herself often being in the same vicinity of Shadowheart, but over time and half a bottle of wine finally gets her to chill out after awhile. It seems that they can finally talk so smoothly, that it was meant to be. Waking up in the morning and seeing Tav still passed out on the cliffside next to her fully at peace, Shadowheart's incurable wound would probably act up again- because she dare to find herself wanting to do anything for this girl. When her devotion is supposed to be to Shar. I think Karlach the next day would notice the two had snuck off together, and would probably figure there's something more going on between them based on how Tav not only seems to drool over her, but Shadowheart too... and that's where she decides- that at the next opportune moment. She's gonna tell Tav. Because if she can't touch Tav, Shadowheart certainly can for her- until the engine thing gets sorted out anyways- Which leads then to the tiefling party. With everyone in high spirits, she'd seek Tav out and ask to speak with her that night.. just the two of them... alone for the time being- Probably mentioning off hand that she knows there might be something going on between Tav and Shadowheart- but it's just a chat... a friendly- harmless- chat- and when even that suggestion is made, sending Tav into spiraling giggles, Karlach is fully hooked. That night I can see her first romance scene playing out as it usually does... riding til stars', wishing that she could touch Tav, and each time she speaks watching Tav's cheeks light up with that beautiful red glow, makes her feel all giddy inside- even if she can't do half the things she wishes she could... I can imagine over the next couple of days there would probably be an unspoken tension between Shadowheart and Karlach- as Tav slowly descends into her own madness over two very hot (one quite literally) women having a thing for her. But Shadowheart and Karlach are going to have to come to an understanding of what all this is and what it means going forward. Especially when you have two people not very well versed in relationships who have their sights aimed at the same person. Personally, my head cannon for them approaching this would probably be pretty late at night after everyone has gone to sleep and both have gotten far enough into their own respective bottles to even approach the subject of Tav. Karlach would be the one to initiate first, not so gracefully saying what they're both thinking. They want Tav, but there's no way in the hells Tavs ever going to be able to actually choose between them- so to share is the best possible option. Whatever that means for the two of them- whether that's getting closer, or keeping it separate- they'll figure it out. But there's no way Tav's gonna be able to make it without slowly losing her mind if they make her choose. Shadowheart would probably agree, and she's a sucker for a good romance, so the whole thing she's noticed between the mutual pining between Tav and Karlach- it's good stuff. Full of the drama she remember's living for in those bad novellas, might be nice to have her own personal romantic tragedy playing out before her.

Over time their personal relationship would probably develop into something more too (Thank you sooooooo much Animated BG3 patch 8 video), but the two of them are gonna have to get a bit closer first. ~ But that's what I got! First impressions, how I think everything would all kinda need to kick off and how the whole arrangement got started :)) Thank you so much for the request!