#i suppose i’m glad y’all like them too

[adriancatrin]

i’m over the whole concept of wips. be done already. get out of my head

[s-4pphics]

a friend in need! (e.w.)

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SYNOPSIS: heartbreak aid during the apocalypse, you ask? 

WORD COUNT: 5k

WARNINGS: bff!ellie who’s sad, kinda perv oc who’s eager to fix that, remixed version of seattle!ellie, dina catching strays for no reason (i love her pls), wound care but erotic, SMUT AGELESS BLOGS/MINORS DNI, dubcon (nasty green), porn watching, mutual/guided masturbation, brief poochie eating, oc in denial ab her little crush, real girlhood <3, slight angst :(

A/N: the bubblegum apocalypse where no one dies or lies. #SCISSORING

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The gates of Jackson open, and relief rushes through your chest. 

Everyone is accounted for. Ellie’s accounted for. 

Weeks—or however the fuck long— of pent-up anxiety finally settles in your limbs as you sprint towards Shimmer while Jesse tends to Dina, greeting the hazel mount with coos and rustles through her fur. Baby needs a bath and a good brushing. 

Your eyes swiftly shift from her to your best friend, “Ellie, I’m so glad— “

“Can you help me down, please?” 

Creases bunch in your forehead at the strain in her tone. And then you’re met with the blood-soaked wrap that's enclosed around her jean-covered thigh. 

“Oh, shit… c’mere.” 

Ellie’s good leg swings over the saddle, and you hold her waist to ease her down into the muddy grass. Joel’s the first one to engulf her. They exchange words that you don’t catch before his reluctant arms drop to guide Shimmer back to the stocks, leaving you two alone. You can’t stop yourself from throwing your arms around her neck next, mindful of her leg. 

“I didn’t know what to think when y’all didn’t come back,” you whisper. 

When the two girls first made their departure to Seattle, the icy remains of winter had just begun to melt into the dirt beneath it, and that alone felt like ages ago. There’s mosquitoes and moths everywhere now, following wherever the sun beams. 

A strong arm wraps around your waist, and you instantly stiffen and detach from her, hands resting on her shoulders. 

Her gaze drops to the ground when you whisper, “What happened, Ellie? You okay?”

She breathes. “Peachy.” 

Your hands drop when she turns in the direction of her home, head jerking when she says, “I’m gonna shower.” 

“Dinners supposed to be really good tonight!” You exclaim with a broken smile when she takes her first hobble, “Eat with me? Consider it a celebration that you made it home safe.” 

Ellie seems to soften at your invitation, head bobbing in approval, and you smile. 

She holds her fist out to you, “See you in 20?” 

You bump your knuckles against hers with strained cheeks, “See you in 20.” 

One small, comforting smile from her, and she’s off, limping back home. 

“What’s up with them?” 

You flinch at the too close whisper from Jesse, and you shrug. “Maybe they broke up.” 

“Doubt it,” He snorts, “Dina told me it was brutal on the way back. The bastards were everywhere, she said. They’re probably still shook up.” 

“Damn… How’s she doing?” 

“Weird as hell. I think she’s sick or something,” Concern is melting off him, “She’s getting checked out now.”

“I’ll check on her later,” You face him, “Coming to dinner?” 

“Probably not. Gotta make sure Dee’s good.” He’s already walking off, trailing after his friend…? Ex? You never know what to call them. 

“See ya.” You wave awkwardly. 

Weird. 

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How do you cheer up a friend that just witnessed three dozen infected tear another small community to shreds? At least, according to Jesse. He was able to get more out of Ellie and Dina than you were, apparently. 

You don’t know how Ellie — or anyone — could experience such barbarous scenes as frequently as they do. You’ve been on patrol twice since you stumbled upon Jackson a few years back, and each venture leaves you less and less eager to see the world beyond its walls. You respect their bravery, not only for being able to dive head first into unknown territory with nothing but bullets and faith, but to also face those walking demons at every corner. 

Your closest friend is often excited to show you scavenged artifacts that she has collected, but… she’s barely spoken to you since you helped her off Shimmer. 

Her silence is uncommon, and therefore, frightening. 

“It’s been a while since we’ve had fish,” you scoff weakly, poking your carrots with your fork, “It’s good, huh?” 

Her focus shifts from the tablecloth to you. 

Silence. 

You drop your utensil, “Fuck, Ellie… dude, what happened out there? Jesse told me… that y'all got caught up— “

“Dina’s pregnant.” 

He didn’t tell you that.

Ellie’s whisper breezes past your ears so fast that you barely catch it. The canteen continues to bustle with hungry, ravaged patrons who returned from their second round of patrol. You assumed Ellie was one of them after her scattered return, but she hasn’t touched anything on her plate. Not even her carrots. Her favorite; A literal goddamn rabbit. 

No wonder she hasn’t eaten… Who could’ve with news like that? Especially considering the high she was riding before the couple left. 

“What.” 

Ellie’s head shakes with gall, and a disappointed grin plumps her cheeks. 

“Yup… Can’t wait to tell Maria.” 

Sharing the news of a new Jackson kiddo sounds like the last thing on her mind. Days before the two took off, she was squealing like a wild hyena in the wee hours of the night, gushing to you about the midnight explorations with her long-term crush. Her retellings of their first night together were vivid: filled with pent up tension and need and unfiltered lust. According to Ellie, they could’ve gotten married in a fortnight with the relationship they’d built over the years, and you believed her. Sadly. 

You were present, observant, during your teenage years. You were there when Cat kissed Ellie, when they broke up, when Ellie had recurring nightmares about Riley and was desperate for comfort from you, when Ellie fell for Dina… 

And now they’re in a pickle. A fat one. 

Hearing about Ellie’s relationship never went how you’d assume. You expected to be happy for your friend whenever she enthused about a topic that brought about such elation, but there was always something about the stories that gave you pause. Something that burned in the pit of your stomach and caused you to, frankly, fake congratulations. You’re unsure why, but hearing about Dina and Ellie’s relationship potentially being tarnished is calming that simmer inside you.

“Just when I thought…” She scoffs quietly. “Whatever. Fuck it.” 

You can’t resist and slip, “… Who’s the daddy?” And she hisses.

“Guess.” 

But you don’t have to... Fuck. 

Dina and Jesse’s relationship was… something. In adolescence, Ellie was either secretly celebrating their multitude of separations or crying to you about them getting back together. Their consistent streak of being on and off clearly got the best of them. There’s a ball of cells growing inside of your friend’s almost-girlfriend. 

“Shit… maybe it was… a misunderstanding? Doesn’t it take a couple weeks to… form in the womb or whatever?” 

You’re not the devil's advocate. Your lips clamp at Ellie’s stern glare.

“There’s no misunderstanding.” 

Your shoulders slump at the distance in her eyes. The indifference she’s exuding can’t disguise the hurt that she’s experiencing internally. Your heart aches for her, despite the excited jitters in your fingers.

“… Sorry, man.” 

“I don’t care.” 

Good, you impulsively want to say. You shove it down into the hardwood beneath your soles. Your brows furrow in annoyance, more so at yourself for not being remorseful. “Fuck off. Yes, you do, and that’s okay. It’s normal.” 

“Can we go?” 

Her request is sudden and cracked, and every inkling of pride deflates in your chest. Poor thing; How could you feel like this when she’s this scattered? Guilt replaces whatever dark fantasy you’ve conjured up in the past five minutes. 

You move to stand without objection. Fuck the carrots, “Yeah. Let’s roll— “

An instant lightbulb above your head… and it’s glowing green. Roll.

Roll!

Mischief shines in your chest and eyes when you glance around the packed space in search for, 

“TOMMY!” 

A flash of brown hair turns to meet your sprinting form. The peach he’s holding looks devine. 

“You seen ‘Gene anywhere?” 

Your grin widens at his disapproving stare.

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“Be careful with those, shit-for-brain! I’m not coming to save your ass like last time!” 

“Got it, boss!” You squeak with a polite smile, shoving the small baggie of rolled joints into your stuffed satchel. It vanishes the second Eugene slams his vault to his dirty ass man cave, “Fucking dicksucker.” You huff.

Ellie snickers from beside you. “C’mon. Be nice.” 

“No. He skimped on me last time. Toke hog.” 

The walk to your place is colder than usual, but it’s beautiful out. The moon shines from behind the dark clouds, illuminating the ivory that shields the incoming spring grass. Gorgeously cinematic; A scenery that gets the heart thumping. Aching. Yearning. 

You lead Ellie onto your porch and into your home. She removes her jacket and kicks off her boots, throwing her armor over the designated rack. Your satchel goes flying across the room until it clatters on your bed. Black tapes spill all over the mattress, and Ellie scolds you disapprovingly. 

“Again? Really?”

You smirk. Eugene’s always too blasted to punish your kleptocracy, “No one has a better porn collection than ‘Ge— “

Her jaw slacks, “Porn?! What the fuck, I thought those were the Jurassic Park— “

“They’re not…” Before pondering, “Although that’d be some crazy role play. RAAAWR— “

“You’re the fucking worst.” 

“C’mon! Look at these titles,” You skip to your bedside to snag a couple tapes, “Smoochie the Coochie… Banging my hot neighbor…” 

A boisterous laugh passes your lips, “Throbbin’ Hood: Prince of Beaves! Tell me that’s not fucking hilarious!” 

Ellie doesn’t laugh. Hasn’t laughed. Just simmers by the front door with red dusting her cheeks. How adorable! 

“Why’re you looking like that?” 

When her eyes travel over the creases between your brows and confused smile, your feet give an awkward stutter. This wasn’t the reaction you were expecting. At the very least, she should’ve cracked a smile by now. Even an insecure one. 

You peer down at the tapes in your hand and back up at her. Her posture shifted: arms wrapped protectively around her waist while she leaned on the balls of her feet, eyes inspecting the dim lights of your space. 

Another lightbulb. Not a green one. 

“Have you ever watched porn?” 

She shrugs with floundering shoulders. You chuckle. 

“It’s just for shits and giggles, Ellie. Don’t be so serious. The acting sucks and you needa good laugh.” 

You cradle the filled baggie like it holds a sacred orb and waltz towards the VCR. Your screen shifts from bright blue to the tape’s introduction screen. Naked men in speedos… Ellie plops down on the couch behind and mindlessly flicks a lighter. You reach into the baggie and toss her the fattest joint available before working the remote. 

A sigh releases… then another flicker… then a long, drawled out exhale. You grin. 

You, remote in hand, plop down next to her, “Is it good?”

“Better than last time, for sure.” You trade the remote for the joint, arm wrapped around your angled legs as you pull. Hits smooth… er. It still dries your throat. 

“Remind me to thank him.” 

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Two joints down. Two tapes completed. Three wide smiles from Ellie from the bad acting. The night’s a win in your book. 

She lazily lights another joint while you switch out the tapes. You purposely saved the best for last: apparently the only lesbian porno in that bastard’s whole cave. When’s the last time you’ve smoochied a coochie?

More importantly, when’s the last time Ellie has? Recently, you assume; She and Dina were too close to only be going on long walks in the woods. The more you smoke, the more your mind wanders where it shouldn’t. 

… Your friend is a lover. Always has been, despite her efforts of convincing you, herself — everyone — that she’s emotionally indifferent. Craves affection, both verbal and physical, like she’s deprived. She raves to you about her desires on a weekly basis, for fucks sake! Someone hug the poor girl! 

“Feeling better?” You squeak when you plant on the cushion. Ellie nods with a soft grin. 

“Thank you.” 

Your hands clap together and her body shakes from the recoil. “The night’s not over yet! I got a surprise for you! Happy Birthday!” 

“It’s not my birthday… I don’t know my birthday— “

Your smile is laced with grating sarcasm, “Wow, you really know how to kill the vibe! Just play along, goddamn!” 

You sigh when her expression flattens. 

“Ellie…”

“Yes?” 

Oh… That crackly tone did a little something. Cheering Clitorous. Alright. Okay. 

“I found a little something in ‘Gene’s special drawer— “

“Aren’t all his drawers special.” 

“Aren’t you supposed to be shutting the fuck up.” 

Her red eyes widen, but she silences. 

“You know what feels really nice after a bad breakup?” 

Her middle finger digs into her dry eye, “Getting high and watching porn with the only other lesbian you know?” 

“Even better,” Your hand claps down on her jean-clad, uninjured thigh. “Getting high and watching lesbian porn with the only other lesbian you know… while getting head. A true fixer-upper.”

More silence, and your tummy gives a nervous tumble. Eugene’s bud gives you enough courage to make eye contact, and, given any other circumstance, you would’ve hollered laughter at how stunned Ellie looks, eyes nearly stretched beyond her lids, but you don’t. You press on when she denies you. 

“You’re lying.” 

“Am I?” Your thumb presses the large button in the middle and the screen displays two, three — six women… all sprawled out on white carpet while lewdness shines through their eyes… And not at all the romantic wives fingering each other next to the fireplace like you envisioned. Plus, the music sucks. Who the fuck plays the accordion while bumping cooters?

Your eyes circle around and… Oh, wow. A lot less tame than you were expecting… Are those chains and a paddle? 

What the fuck, Eugene. 

“Oh, shit.” 

Ellie’s either impressed or about to go on a judgmental rampage. You gauge her expression curiously. Her lashes keep fluttering like butterfly wings. You nearly coo audibly. She always does that when she’s excited! What a cutie! 

Ellie recites the description at the bottom of the screen, “When six girls go off into the woods for an early 4th of July getaway, conversations take a lustful… and explorative turn. Find out what happens during one late, hot evening after a game of… kiss and blow?” 

You snort, “Are you asking me?” 

“Well, yeah… The fuck is kiss and blow?” 

You shrug, “Find out.”

One click of the remote, and the footage begins… More giggles from Ellie, and something flutters in your chest. You’ll have to watch bad acting with her more often. 

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Six minutes into Smoochie the Coochie, and you still don’t know what kiss and blow is. And you don’t care to find out. 

High pitched moans and pleasured squeals that almost sound phony rings in your hazy skull as you stare up at your best friend from between her covered legs. 

This is the quietest she’s been all night: her eyes are locked on the screen behind you, completely entranced with flushed cheeks by what you assume is the sweatiest, raunchiest… scissoring, is what it’s called? On the screen. Maybe. You’re wired and can’t think straight and Ellie’s hot. 

“Are we really doing this right now?” 

She whispers when you caress her thigh over her pants, and you nod approvingly. Desperately, but she can’t tell. “Up to you.” 

You don’t expect a cold hand to come up and tenderly brush against your cheek. You shudder and nuzzle into it. Sober you would be so embarrassed at how you’re reacting to her affections. You’ve never been the needy one. 

“Can we…” 

You pout and burn with embarrassment, but start to pull back, “Stop?” 

“No, no…” Her eyes meet yours and your body locks. A bit nervous. “I dunno…” 

“Tell me.” 

“Later.” She whispers. 

You stare skeptically as she plays with your earlobe. “I promise I’m good. I want this. I’ll tell you later.” 

A pause before you sigh. “Okay. Up.” You pat her thigh and her hips rise. Her unbuttoned jeans are peeled down her legs, gently over her fresh bandage, and tossed beside you. Your body is miles ahead of your brain; before you realize, your lips smack all over her bruised thighs, peppering over the freshly bandaged scars and faded ones. She squirms where she sits, shaky breaths puffing from her lips. 

Your mouth travels higher, and an encouraging hand lands on the back of your head, massaging your scalp. 

“Tell me what’s happening.” You mumble against her, a blind finger pointing back at the screen. 

“I don’t — So much shit is going on. Like… from all directions.”  

You smile against her thigh, “Someone catch your attention?” 

“I…” 

But no explanation is needed. There’s treads of weakness in her growl. Go figure. 

“Lemme guess… She look like her?” 

If she catches the unwarranted agitation in your tone, she doesn’t mention it. Simply digs her nails into the back of your head. No forceful tugs at your hair, but a warning, and your teeth beam. 

“I dunno what the fuck you’re smiling for, but it’s gonna piss me off soon.”

There's a smidge of threat in her voice, so your kisses travel up. A pleasant distraction, given every small twitch of her legs. 

Not too long before you reach the hem of her underwear, and you trap it between your teeth before releasing it. Her tummy jolts when the fabric hits her skin, and you go heart-eyed. 

“Tell me who you’re looking at.” 

“T-The one that brought all that crazy shit to the party.” 

Of course. Handcuffs, she means. The large, wooden paddle, she means. A slow drag of your tongue advances up her v-line and her body wracks against her will. 

“Crazy in a bad way?” You purr against softness, and she exhales a laugh. “Not in this context, I guess.” 

“You like that kinda stuff?” 

“How the fuck would I know?” 

You snort before your eyes fall, trapped by the small patch of wetness that sticks to her panties. Glues the outline of her lips to the fabric. You’re seconds — inches away from going feral. 

Whatever patience you entered with has withered: and with determined hands, Ellie’s underwear gets yanked, pried down her legs and tossed behind you. Your eyes glisten with excitement when they meet the red pearl that twitches in anticipation, walls that leak when the warmth of your breath brushes over the cup of her. 

Her pussy’s perfect. A stunner, for sure. You and Cat were never close, but you’d hit her up to get Ellie tatted. Not even in a discreet place. It’d be somewhere where everyone — Dina — can see. On your forehead, for fucks sake—

S-Stop staring at me. 

It seemed like the moans behind you became louder. You nearly shove three fingers in Ellie’s mouth as punishment for interrupting the moment, but you choke on a breath. Mumble a slur of you’re cute, can’t help it in an attempt to ease her. 

And just when your tongue unravels over your bottom lip, right when Ellie’s taste is millimeters away, right when her breath hitches and her mouth drops open, the loudest crack, very reminiscent of bullets, rings across your small living room. Scares her, scares you enough to steal the attention from the art between her thighs. 

The sight on the screen is new, even for you. 

It’s not every day you see girls being slung across muscly laps and swatted on the ass with wooden tools with their hands bound behind them while they cry and sob and beg for their masters to hit them harder. You probably would’ve laughed at the theatrics if Ellie wasn’t here, as if you weren't about to go to town on her ten seconds ago. Both your breaths shudder and tremble as raunchy sounds of lips smacking and girls touching themselves and fingering each other split your ears in half. 

Your vision tunnels and shifts when a whimper from Ellie rattles through your chest and down your ribcage. She gasps like you’ve caught her doing something bad, but she doesn’t stop whatever she’s doing. Just blushes madly with her hand shoved between her squeezed legs while her eyes flicker between you and the screen. 

Time seems to whir and the room spins. The pace of your breath increases, slobbery wheezes syncing with Ellie’s when her legs cross over one another. 

Your muscles move you closer, hands planted on either side of her waist, back enlengthening until your eyes are level with hers. Her tongue barely dips to wet her bottom lip, eyes swiftly flickering down to your mouth.

A hand raises right when another crack of a paddle against skin ripples through your speakers, and before Ellie can flinch, your palm caresses her cheek, thumb exploring the divets in her face. Over the healed wounds and fiery specks that hypnotize. You don’t expect her to nuzzle into your touch… 

And you definitely don’t expect her arm to start moving, despite its enclosing. 

Her eyelids bat, and green pierces through your chest. Over your neck, your face, your shoulders as her bicep twitches. When her lips part around a gasp, you choke. 

Lemme see. 

Ellie curses under her breath, kisses your palm, and undoes the twining of her legs. Her fingers are gentle where they rest over her pussy, the bones in her hand flexing as her palm digs into her clit, folds smushed around the muscles of her thumb. 

That’s how you do it?

Her teeth sink into her bottom lip, masking a smile as her head shakes. Your heart pinches. 

Show me how. 

Her head falls to the side as her cheeks sizzle. 

You first. 

You shudder, and your brain scolds. This wasn’t the plan. You were supposed to smoke, watch porn, eat pussy, and escort her home safely. 

Not the fucking plan.

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Ellie insisted that you restart Smoochie the Coochie before you undress. For ambiance, she’d said when you stood on two feet, watching as she removed her hoodie. For me? She’d whispered against your cheek, in only a tank top, when you finally positioned yourself on the cushion in front of her. Face to face, pussies almost touching, your knees to the ceiling. 

The volume of the footage has been turned down, but the acting… it’s fucking hilarious. You shouldn’t be smiling. You shouldn’t be giggling, but you are. 

Ellie moves loose strands of hair behind her ear, grin matching yours. 

“Hm?” 

“Nothing.” 

“Hm.”

Ellie, much to your shock, makes the first move. Again. 

Takes your wrist in her hand, brings your limp one up to her mouth to pepper kisses on your knuckles before pressing in between your open thighs. Your fingers are clumsy and your heart pounds against your ribcage, thighs jerking at the sticky contact of your own juices. Ellie's eyes between your legs like a hawk, leant comfortably against the pillows stacked behind her. 

Her attention encourages you. You balance on the hand that rests on the couch, grinning playfully around the fingers that sink into your mouth and glide on your tongue. Ellie shakes her head with a small smile before reaching for the lighter and last joint. Sticks the end of it between her lips, flicks the lighter twice, and ignites it. 

Every slow exhale of smoke gets rewarded with presses on your clit, your index and middle fingers tickling the sensitive area with learned precision. It pulsates under your fingertips whenever you lock eyes; her eyes are fervent with need, uncontrollably so, and it sends vibrations through your spine. 

Slower, Ellie whispers wetly when your touch becomes rushed. Too eager for her liking. She’s always hated when you rush things. Loathes your impatience. 

The moans from the film pick up again: shaky and cracked and high. They match yours when you apply just enough pressure on the spot right above your clit. Your walls constrict and slick gushes from, and Ellie curses.

When your fingers explore elsewhere, she sits up suddenly, her breath hitting your mouth when she mutters, Keep touching right there, with a tight hand around your wrist, trying to guide you back to the spot that makes your thighs quake.

I’m gonna cum if I do. There’s warning in your gasp.

Ellie puffs again before huffing a smoky breath, the scent infiltrating your senses. Your fingers almost sink inside, Wasn’t that the plan? 

Cum w-with me? 

Your voice is pleading, tone almost identical to when you would incessantly pester and follow Ellie around Jackson when you were younger. 

Ellie, watch a movie with me? 

Ellie, do a puzzle with me? 

Ellie, go on a walk with me?

Ellie! Ellie! Ellie! 

What used to be innocent invitations have swiftly shifted into something darker, and Ellie needs more. A shocked squeak leaves you when her free hand curls around the back of your neck to smash your lips together. Your hazy mind hadn’t registered Ellie’s fiery stares at your bruised lips, her head tilting in the opposite direction of yours, her nose brushing against yours whenever your fingers made a gooey noise. 

Your eyes flutter shut when her tongue sloppily glides over your bottom lip, moans quenchless where they hit Ellie’s tongue. She swallows them down until they jolt in her stomach, and shoves her hand between her thighs once more. 

Her fingers are drenched and so are yours; there’s nasty, slicked noises everywhere. From you, from Ellie, from the television that’s been forgotten by both of you. 

Ellie’s movements become desperate in a matter of seconds, no longer able to keep up the pace of your kiss. Your separated lips connect only by a thin line of saliva as Ellie gasps hit the skin of your cheek. 

Can’t wait to feel you on me. 

Your euphoria begs to peak at Ellie’s promise, your fingers massaging all the spots that send you to the stars at a desperate pace, trying to match Ellie’s. 

Cum with me, she growls like you did, Cum with me, cum with me, fuck —

Your friend’s name is a prayer on your tongue, shrouded in lust and a longing you’ve forced down to non-existence. You both succumb to pleasure in unison, the pulsing between your thighs synched with hers as she whimpers out. 

I wanna tie you up like that. Tie you up? Beat your ass raw and bloody? Whatever she's looking at, you want. You'll take without hassle. Anything for her. After one glance at the screen, 

Cumming for you, oh shit—

You wring out your high until there’s nothing left to give her, legs closing around your wrist at the aching sensitivity. Ellie’s head falls onto the arch of your knees, lathering your skin in spit-filled kisses, her soaked hand slowing between her legs. 

“Lay down.” 

“H-Hm?” 

“Lay down,” you croak. 

And she does, eyes filled with carnality. 

The porno is long forgotten when your head shoves between Ellie’s legs, the tape stuck on the starter screen while her cries of pleasure blend with the same bullshit accordion. 

You tongue her with fever, drink down all of her heartbreak that she endured while she was away from the source, mark yourself all over the terrain of her until she shatters with a cry of your name. Drenches your mouth, your tongue, your chin. Pushes you away with a cautious hand when you don’t stop. Flinches with sensitivity. 

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“Hold still.” 

You swipe the disinfecting wipe over Ellie’s wound, fresh blood leaking into the white cotton. She assembles new bandages where she sits above you, unraveling the sterile fabric for you to wrap her in.

“I’m trying!” She whines, “It still hurts.” 

“Shouldn’t have tried to ride my face— “

She flicks your forehead so hard, it thumps like a drum, and you wince before playfully biting her finger. 

She snickers and allows you to collect the last bits of blood with the last tarnished rag in your first-aid kit, snagging the bandages from her grasp. She holds down the new gauze and does as she’s told, lifting her thigh on your command as you bind her messy stitches. 

Why did you kiss them, though? 

It lasted 0.5 seconds. A quick, gentle smack meant to soothe, but your brain doesn’t see it that way. Red alarms glow in every crevice of your cerebrum, urging you to move away from your best friend. You stare at Ellie and Ellie stares back, expression no longer readable and easy-going, and you flinch away from her. 

Inviting her over for some innocent porn-watching is one thing… but kissing her without motive? Without the need to progress into something more? It stuns you more than her. You think.

“Sor — sorry — “

Ellie’s already palming at your shoulders, “It’s okay… it’s not a big deal— “

And it’s not. Why does her confirmation bloom a new ache in your chest? 

Your knees pop when you hurriedly stand, and Ellie follows, hands sliding down your arms to grab your hands. 

“Hey…”

You meet her eyes. 

“We’re good… okay? It’s nothing serious.” 

Don’t cry. You agree with a grin. One you pray she doesn’t notice cracks in its corners. She says nothing. Just caresses your cheek in unsaid thanks. Thanks for tonight. Thanks for the distraction. 

Ellie returns a smile before gathering her clothes off the floor. She dresses in silence as you watch with a sorrowful gleam. Is it selfish to ask her to stay? Would it be too much? Should you? Will you?

It’s when she’s tying her boots up that you say something. 

“I can walk you back!” 

“I got it. I’m not going straight home.” 

Ellie’s denial is calm. Gentle. Not abrasive in the slightest, but your hands quiver and heart swells, bound to burst with dejection. Where is she going? The town is sleeping. 

She leaves before you can ask with a promise of seeing you in the morning for breakfast. Nothing unfamiliar, nothing changed. 

Tears rock you to sleep, and you’re not sure why. 

─ ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──── ♡ ─── ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ─── ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──── ♡ ─── ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ─── ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──── ♡

[dorkszn]

SOULLESS + katsuki bakugou

SYNP — after losing your quirk, you had no idea what to do with yourself and katsuki couldn’t help you

WARNINGS — masc reader, suicide, quirk loss, heavy angst | 1.3K

A/N — did i cook, y’all? 🥺

Your quirk was what made you. That was the mentality most people in this world had. It was what you grew up on. You took it seriously. Your quirk defined you.

Katsuki knew this. He understood you. Even he knew he was more than his quirk. He never put you down for it, he just pushed you to work harder.

And you pushed. You pushed and pushed and pushed. Until it all fell to shit.

You don’t process the silencing sound of the gun shooting until you feel the impact. The world slows while simultaneously crumbling around you. You can’t hear. You can’t hear Sir Nighteye shouting, you can’t hear Izuku’s gasp, you can’t hear Togata’s cry. You just feel. Feel a part of you being ripped away.

The bullet sits in your body. And you feel. You feel the gash in your flesh. You feel the blood seeping from the wound. You feel the sting of its penetration. Then you feel the strength drain from you. You pushed too far.

Everyone described your time in the hospital as uncharacteristic and silent. The only time you spoke was when Katsuki visited you. And he felt. He felt the emptiness radiating from you. Even then, you sat in quietness as you attempted to tell him how you were feeling. Empty. Weak. Soulless.

He couldn’t treat you like everyone else. For one of the first times in his life, he knew, a quirkless person was nothing less than him. He had to treat them right. He had to treat you right. Which he did of course.

Your mental and emotional condition always hurt him. Always made him feel like a piece of him was missing. Even when you were allowed to return to your training. When you’d help him with his special moves or by sitting on his back while he did pushups.

It was a mental trick. It was supposed to make you feel like you were back. It was supposed to make people see you and smile and pat you on the back. Giving you “good job!” and “we’re glad to see you back.” But you weren’t back. You weren’t anything. And nobody knew. Nobody knew until Katsuki and Aizawa did.

A normal day of physical therapy while everyone else was training. One where Katsuki requested to come with you and one where Aizawa sat in with you. Your arm wasn’t functioning like before. No part of you was. Not your mind, heart, or soul, if it was even still there.

The physical therapist gave you your usual spiel before leaving you with the two men.

“The way you’re taking this ain’t very heroic, you know?” Aizawa told you, taking a seat next to you on the bench. He put a comforting hand on your head, pulling you close to him.

Your words struck through the two like the bullet that hit you. The bullet that robbed you. “I’m not a hero anymore. I’m nothing.”

That’s when the two realized. You weren’t the same. The hero you were and the person you were now, were completely different.

Katsuki saw the signs. He knows he did. His only mistake was not knowing what to do about them. He had sick thoughts. He thought maybe if Izuku had gone through with his words, he’d know the signs. He’s grateful that Izuku is alive and well but a bit upset that he didn’t have the experience he needed.

You zoned out often, stayed in your dorm all the time, slept in class, and barely spoke at lunch, you wouldn’t text with your old spark and enthusiastically run up to him after school. He missed you. Not any more than he does now but he did. Even though you were right there. Like you were just a body floating its way through life.

He told Aizawa. Aizawa said to give you time. Katsuki doesn’t blame him. Not entirely. He couldn’t have known. But giving you time was the wrong move. Giving you time was the last thing you needed.

Katsuki knows he should’ve been smarter the day you gave him a letter. An envelope that you didn’t want him to open until the next day. Aizawa got one too. So did Hitoshi. And Izuku. But none of them thought anything of it. Just a way for you to get the words you couldn’t say out.

Katsuki should’ve known after seeing the way you grinned around everyone and stayed by his side all day. But he was stupid. He thought you were getting better.

Dear, Katsuki Bakugou.

Katsuki. I love you more than anything in this lifetime. I am forever grateful for what you’ve given me. My life has gone so much better than I ever expected because of you. I want to give you the world. I tried. I tried really hard. But I can’t. Everything feels dull and nothing feels right. I feel trapped and I don’t feel like myself. And I can’t get out of this slump. Being here feels like being dead. I’m not here. I know this would hurt to text you or say to your face. I can’t think of those eyes of yours without it hurting me. Nothing is your fault. Never. Thank you, Katsuki. I love you in this life and beyond. Take your time, hold your ground, and become the best. I’m rooting for you. I’ll see you on the other side or in another life. I know if I become myself again, I will always find you.

Love, your dumbass, y/n l/n.

The wind rushed past you. Everything looked so different from your view. The same scenery you’d be taking in for the past few months sits ahead of you but it looks different. It feels nice. Maybe because this was the last time you’d see it.

The ground glares up at you, it’s pavement calling to you. The moonlight shines on your skin, casting your shadow on the rooftop of the dorms. You try to smile. To take it in one last time. But you can’t. Your mind won’t let you. Whatever was left of your soul won’t let you.

You just take a deep breath. And feel. You feel the bullet breaking your flesh and shattering your bone. You feel Katsuki’s warmth surrounding you. You feel Aizawa’s hand on your head. You feel and feel and feel. Before you fall.

It only took minutes after sunrise before you were found. An unlucky student stumbles across a corpse. Their blood-curdling scream immediately grabbed the whole world’s attention. It only took hours for them to collect you and identify you.

After that, it only took minutes for it to be announced to the class. It only took seconds for Katsuki to unwillingly break down. As fast as the bullet ripped your quirk from you, his soul, his mind, and his heart were ripped from him.

It only took seconds for the pity and grief to intoxicate the room. Poisoning every first year and teacher at the school. It only took days for Katsuki to finally convince himself to read the letter. It only took seconds for him to break down again and be pulled into Aizawa’s chest.

It only took a week for Katsuki’s world to crumble.

He visits you through the snowy days and warm nights. Sitting in front of your stone and replacing your flowers. Your soul is long gone and it feels as if his was too. The picture of you in his t-shirt, stupidly grinning at the camera stares into him. And he feels. He feels the hurt. He feels the pain. He feels your warmth. He feels your missed presence. He feels and he feels and he feels. Until he doesn’t think he can anymore.

“You weren’t nothing, y/n. You were everything.” He pushed the words out.

[azelmawrites]

ive missed you!! :(( I’m so glad you’re thinking abt hange again— might I suggest cowboy/horse rancher hange

I missed the blog and writing and most importantly everyone who was helping me develop the concepts or giving me new ideas to talk about, I missed y’all even more!!! ALSO Hange as a cowboy has my heart. Y’all know what cowboys do to me but HANGE as a cowboy???!!! I remember before I talked about farmhand Hange and rich daughter which was a great concept but this time I wanna lean more into a slightly cliche concept. City girl with the sweet and kind cowboy.

You’re a modern city girl, you’re a fresh university graduate and still clutching onto your hot degree. Your aunt is in need of company and you’re in a desperate need of a break after the hectic life of the city. At least that’s what Hange’s been told by your aunt on one fine Saturday afternoon.

Your aunt’s been very ecstatic about having you around, Hange couldn’t hear the end of it—not like they were complaining or anything, your aunt is a lovely woman and they were glad that the lonely woman would finally have company and someone to look after her when needed, especially after the night your aunt fell on the way back from the bathroom.

Hange didn’t really have any expectations of you, just that you were some fancy city girl with your cool university degree and your cool city life. It’s not like Hange had any hatred for city folk, but they didn’t particularly have the best experiences with them.

They’re all obnoxious and stuck up. With no manners whatsoever.

It was on a hot Tuesday afternoon that your aunt picked up your call, and she drowned you with questions of worry at you being very late to your supposed arrival time. Hange’s mild curiosity is quenched when your aunt says, “Sweet suffering jesus! You stay right there sweetie, don’t you worry! I will send Hange to fetch you right now!”

Then the woman turns to look at Hange and explains, “her car broke down on the way to town, thankfully she is right by the highway leading here—but bad news is that she barely has signal and no one ever comes to this god forsaken town so no one would be able to rescue her—” she’s hyperventilating and Hange places their two hands on her shoulder and calm her down.

“It’s okay, I will find her and go get her fast.” Hange doesn’t even wait for one more second to hear your aunt crying words of gratitude.

When Hange reaches you in their red beat up ford truck, they were taken back at the sight of you.

You were outside your car, leaning against the hood in your tiny jean shorts and equally tiny white tank top, sunglasses on your eyes and your feet clad in brown cowboy boots. It looked like a textbook outfit that you would find if you looked up what to wear in the countryside.

Except people in town don’t actually wear that, none of the women in town wear things like that.

You push yourself away from your car when you Hange exits their car. They can’t see your eyes, but you smile and introduce yourself. Hange shakes your hand, slightly surprised that someone from the city was actually polite to smile and shake hands and introduce themselves.

This had to be the first time it ever happened to them.

“Thank you for coming all this way to get me,” you say and head to open the driver’s door to pop open the hood as you explain, “I think it just needs water honestly, because it overheated and the ac wasn’t working that well before it stopped.”

When Hange took a quick look, your words were true. It was an issue with the coolant water, and it could’ve been solved in five minutes but they doubt a pretty thing like you knew how a car even works.

They wanted to affirm your theory, but it would mean that they could solve it in less than five minutes and you would drive yourself back to your aunt’s house and some other man would lay their eyes on you and want you immediately, and what’s worse you might want them back too.

So, Hange lied, and they didn’t really feel bad about it. “No, the wire for the radiator is pretty messed up too, we need to tow your car.”

Your face blanched, “really?”

“Really.” Hange affirmed, shutting the hood and seeing the luggage on your back seats, “I’ll just drive you to your aunt myself.”

As you stood by your car, Hange strolled over to your backseat without a word and started grabbing your luggage. You opened your mouth to protest but quickly realized there was no point—they were already stacking your bags into their truck with surprising ease.

“I can help with that, you know,” you said, watching as they lifted your heaviest suitcase like it weighed nothing.

Hange shot you a quick grin, wiping their hands on their jeans. “Don’t worry about it. I’ve got it covered.” They hoisted the last bag into the truck and shut the door with a thud, brushing their hands off like it was the easiest thing in the world.

You stood there, a little stunned by how effortlessly they’d handled everything. “Well, thanks,” you said, trying not to sound too surprised.

“Not a problem,” Hange replied, sliding into the driver’s seat again. You followed suit, glancing over at them as they started the engine.

As the truck bounced along the uneven road, you adjusted yourself in the seat, trying to get comfortable. “Do you always rescue stranded city girls, or am I just special?” you asked with a smirk, your eyes flicking over to Hange.

Hange shot you a sidelong glance, a grin tugging at the corner of their mouth. “You’re definitely special. Not every day someone shows up in boots that look fresh out of a country music video.”

You laughed, playfully nudging your boot against the dashboard. “Hey, don’t knock the boots. Thought I’d try to blend in, you know, get that whole ‘small town’ vibe going.”

Hange raised an eyebrow. “Uh-huh. You’re blending in real well, I’ll give you that.” There was a teasing glint in their eyes. “But just so you know, no one here actually wears that unless they’re going line dancing. Maybe if you stick around, we can test how well you can hold your own on the dance floor.”

“Line dancing? I think I’ve only done that with auntie when I was like…four or something?” you answered, unsure. You glance at Hange, catching their own eyes set on you.

“Four? How long ago was that?”

“You’re asking for my age? You never ask a lady her age, I thought you country people knew the basics of manners…” you tsk and roll your eyes playfully.

Hange laughs heartily, the sound filling the truck. “Touché. Guess I walked right into that one.” They glance at you again, still grinning. “But if I had to guess, I’d say… twenty-four? You’ve got that ‘fresh grad but still figuring it all out’ look.”

You rolled your eyes, leaning back into the seat with a playful grin. “Alright, now it’s my turn. Let me guess… thirty-five?”

Hange nearly choked on their laughter, eyes widening in mock offense. “Thirty-five? Thirty-five?! You’re killing me here.”

You stifled a laugh, holding up your hands. “What? It’s not that bad. Thirty-five is prime, right?”

“Yeah, sure, if you’ve lived in dog years,” Hange shot back, shaking their head, still amused but clearly not letting it go. “I’m thirty four.”

You stifled a laugh, eyes wide. “Wait, is that offensive? It’s not that much older—just a decade or so.”

They huffed dramatically. “I’m thirty-four, not thirty-five, and yes, it kind of is when you’re still technically in your prime.”

You bit your lip, holding back a grin. “Oh, come on! Thirty-four, thirty-five… it’s practically the same thing.”

Hange gave you a side-eye, clearly trying not to laugh. “Not to us thirty-four-year-olds, it isn’t.”

You raised an eyebrow, leaning in a bit. “Well, you’re not exactly ancient. Plus, with all that wisdom, I’d say it suits you.”

Hange’s playful scowl broke into a grin. “Nice save.”

“Wasn’t trying to save anything,” you teased, “just stating facts.”

They shook their head, chuckling. “Yeah, yeah. Remind me not to invite you to my birthday party though. Next thing I know, you’ll have me hitting forty.”

The car rolls over the pebbles leading to your aunt’s entry, then it stops right before. Hange kills the engine and you just feel the need to say, “thirty five, forty…doesn’t matter, I think you’re sexy anyways.”

Hange’s eyes widened, and they let out a surprised laugh, their cheeks tinged with a faint blush. You smirk, then push the passenger door open and hopping down as your boots let out a satisfying sound as they crush against the stones.

You know Hange’s looking, so you walk with a sway on your hips.

[rodolfoparras]

Oh gosh, hi hello howdy. I’ve always quietly lurked on your blog because it makes me so fucking feral but I’m too nervous about saying anything. But!! I’m being brave, saying hello, and idk bringing a little treat too I suppose

idk what specifically got me hooked onto this idea, but it was def something you wrote that was scream worthy but but all it did was make me imagine:

Price just being this perfect soldier, perfect leader, gruff and hard around the edges because he has to be in his line of work. Sharp voice, stern face, no-nonsense and all authority. Then reader comes around. Price is all bark and bite, but oh with reader—something shakes loose in his chest.

It doesn’t come up in the field. It doesn’t come up on base either. It’s some little dinky bar where the team has holed up in after a rough mission to celebrate a safe return and lick their wounds in relative, drunken peace. And it starts with just the brush of your arm against Price’s neck. It was an accident. You reached for something over his shoulder, Ghost handing you another drink or you swatting at a laughing Soap, and it was really just the loose fabric of your sleeve against Price’s skin.

Price has spent so long being alpha alpha alpha. It’s what’s expected of a military man, what’s expected of a captain and leader. But something about the touch against the back of his neck—of you touching his neck, holding him, collaring him. It’s lucky the lights are low enough no one notices the flush spreading across his face and the music is too loud to hear that soft little whimper.

Anywayyyy love the blog hehe <3

Hello sugar cube!! I’m so glad you popped in pls know y’all are genuinely always welcome here I can understand feeling nervous but believe me I absolutely love talking to y’all! 🥹🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻

Also before I say anything else I just have to say you articulate yourself in such a beautiful way I absolutely love the way you write sugar🧎🏻‍♂️

Second of all I’ve always loved the thought of price giving up control

Imagine price who’s always been forced to take charge and make decisions, always been captain or lieutenant, someone important before he’s been a mere soldier, always carrying so much responsibilities on his shoulders

When you came around he hadn’t expected to start a relationship with you it kind of just happened much like he just happened to give up control to you

Price would always be up on his feet before anyone else, preparing coffee and making sure him and his team have everything they need for their mission, but now he’s woken up by the smell of coffee and met with the sight of your smiling face holding out a cup for him .

He takes it gracefully, sipping on it contentedly, feeling himself become more and more alert as the caffeine enters his system.

He’s just about to say how he needs to prepare for the upcoming mission when you abruptly cut him off with a kiss, ever so carful not to tip the cup of warm liquid on him.

He happily accepts your kiss, a contented sigh escaping his lips and it’s your smile that finally breaks the kiss.

“I’ve already prepared everything,” you say, smile still painted on your face.

He only manages a surprised “oh” in response, brows raising high at your words before he bashfully thanks you for what you’ve done.

Once he’s done with his coffee you put his mug down on the night stand before you take his hand and pull him out of the bed, playfully tugging him over to the bathroom where you’re quick to start up a shower for him.

He mumbles something under his breath probably something along the lines of how he’s a grown man and can take care of himself and doesn’t need you to prepare showers for him but he secretly loves it

As soon as he steps foot in the shower, you’re hot on his tail, pouring shower gel into your hands, and soaping them up before burying your fingers into his hair.

A groan escapes his lips, eyes fluttering shut as he leans into the wonderful feeling.

Maybe you’re going over the mission with him or maybe you’re just humming some tune or maybe you’re trailing kisses down his neck while massaging his tense shoulders

Ether way he absolutely loves it feels like he’s in heaven because of it and of course the sweet thing gets so worked up, all hot and bothered from having someone pampering him this much, cock all hard and weeping between his thighs and there’s no way you’ll have him this tense before a mission so of course you sneak your hand between his legs and gently pumping his length

He’s clawing at your arm, head lolling back onto your shoulder as groans and whimpers escape him.

It doesn’t take much before the sweet thing is inching closer to his release, head burying into your neck and begging you to let him finish and who are you to deny him?

You quickly dry him up and help him dress before you ready yourself for the mission.

Youre checking your weapons and gear going over whatever you’ll need before taking the liberty to check his stuff and he’s all red in the face muttering curses under his breath but he absolutely loves everything you do for him and the rest of tf141 knows it as they stand there quietly chuckling in the background

Well out on the field you’re hot on his heal, your form towering over him, chest flushed to his back, hand on him to keep him in close vicinity while moving quietly

And if a bullet happens to graze him you’re lashing out at whoever wasn’t properly covering him getting all up in their face and cursing them out so much that Price has to pull you back by the waist while trying to suppress the smile tugging at his lips

And on your way back home you’re checking up on him constantly, even sitting next to him in the helicopter, thighs flush with his, arm around him, letting him lean his body onto yours, and checking every once a while on the injury he’s got

And of course when you’re back home you got him sprawled out on the bed, head buried between his legs, making him cum over and over, til there’s nothing but pathetic spurts of cum coming from him.

As he lay there, sated and fucked out, Price realizes he’s finally let someone else have control for once.

[ladyinsturniolo]

dj!matt & micro-influencer!reader meeting for the first time!

— to be aware of…. above pictures don’t define reader, use of y/n, recreational drug and alcohol use, a few already developed friendships, potentially incorrect dj terminology, grammar & spelling errors, semi-proofread, lmk if there’s more!!

the sun had just started setting, casting an orange glow over the furniture in your apartment through the window. the clinking of clutter echoed from the bathroom as you started getting ready. saturdays in california went fairly accordingly to unspoken plan, going out is a typical 20 something year olds event of choice on the weekends after all. a close friend, tara, offered to bring you out to some random house party in the hills… of course you said yes.

that brings you to now, stuck in a smoke filled room crammed full with far too many people. if it wasn’t for tara insisting on pregame shots you’d be drowning in the bodies and bumping music. you and tara were currently stood in the kitchen, boredom had just started seeping into your guys’ minds when tara got a text.

chri$

| u at the party? waiting for u at the booth if u want in

mrs. yummy 🙈

| otw!!! i’ve got a friend with me, is that okay?

chri$

| all good, come up

mere seconds later, you were being dragged through the swarms of people. the raven haired girl pulling you through the crowd only briefly explaining where you were moving to, something like ‘dj… friend of mine…more fun…’ that was all you heard… and really all you needed to hear.

when you finally made it to the booth, two taller guys, looking around their mid-20s stopped the two of you- but before they could even speak, a blue eyed boy with a black beanie on interjected. “i got them, they’re with me, let em’ up.” as the two men moved, the boy grabbed taras hand to guide her up the stairs and she held onto you.

the actual booth was crowded, not as bad as the party scene below however. as the unknown man and tara bantered for no longer than a brief second, she quickly turned around to you. “literally where are my manners,” she pulled the now familiar looking boy to face you, “y/n, this is chris.. he’s a good friend of mine!” chris smiled, tipping the drink in his hand at you softly. “s’ nice to meet you, y/n. glad to have you, make yourself at home or whatever the fuck i’m supposed to say…” chris said sarcastically. you’d known of tara’s group of friends, stalking on instagram late at night when bored does become a habit or something like that.

the tipsy giggle you let out was uncontrollable, “nice to meet you too, chris.” you smiled back in greeting, but before the exchange could continue, a drunken yell you knew too well cut you off. “Y/NNNN!!! TARA!!! finalllllly, my girls are here!!” the the partial weight of madison’s arm on your shoulder only has you stumbling with surprise for a second. you watched as tara had the same reaction, but you both giggled with glee nonetheless.

“already plastered, mads?” you hummed out teasingly, nudging your head against her lulling one gently as your hand found the brunettes wrist instinctively. “listen..listen… carrington made us pregame okay! remind me to never hang out with the boys before a party…” madison giggled as she glanced between you and tara.

the loud screech of the microphone turning on cut through the beat of ‘Les’ by Childish Gambino, which was met with boos before chris’ voice could be heard rasping through the speaker. “alright, cut that booing shit. we’ve got my boy matt up here in the booth tonight, he says he’s got some new shit in the mix for y’all t’night. turn up, and be safe!” it was then that a beat started playing once more, the lights pulsing with them.

“shit, it’s matt’s set.. let’s get up there!” tara yelled, pulling both you and madison through the group of people. the faces she pulled you around looked familiar.. this was her group of close friends.. tara invited you out with her close friends, you could almost cry if the lyrics if madison screaming the lyrics of her favorite song so slurred hadn’t made you giggle.

looking up, your eyes met matt’s side profile. he was a lot prettier in person over instagram… that was your initial thought, ‘why haven’t you come around sooner?’ was your second.

as the night pulled longer, and your attention pulled into new conversation and a few guts from particularly strong joint later… your thoughts never wavered from matt. so, when tara and madison got lost in conversation together, you lingered closer to the front railing of the dj booth. you wedged your way to the front, watching as his tongue poked his cheek, hands moving across the decks and mixers. matt looked up towards the crowd, glancing to the side for a second.. then double taking as he made eye contact with you. it only lasted a split second, as you felt a hand tug on your wrist; pulling you back through the crowd of people. “y/n! don’t run off like that!”

✻ ˖ ֹ ִ ⟢.

it was nearing the early hours of the morning when chris ushered matt into the little circle created by the group. “look whose finally off the clock!” chris said, shaking the boys shoulders, “chill, man.” matt spoke with slight annoyance as he tried to sip his modelo. “hey man, i’m just hyping you up after a good set.” chris replied, earning a resurgence of agreement from the group. “hey but we’ve gotta see what the newbie thinks, that’s what matters most.” carrington chuckled, earning a jab and a nudge from tara and madison.

you flushed, sudden attention and eyes beaming on you like a spotlight. though matt’s were the only ones you looked at in the moment - they were the ones beaming on you most intensely. “you’re awesome man.. totally awesome. like, really you are awesome at maintaining the crowd.. really… and your remixes are sick.. so sick.. you’re so cool.” you rambled, word vomit, shit. you rubbed your eyes, looking down and sighing in defeat. “let’s lay off the weed tonight, huh y/n?” tara giggled jokingly as she plucked the joint from your fingers.

however, when you looked up, he had the faintest smirk on his face… his eyes were still on you.

˖◛ . . A/N. thank you so so much for reading!!! if you would like to be added to the TL or have any thoughts, concerns, critiques, etc. let me know… bye bye now 🌹!!!

tl: @sturnioz

[chris-prank]

Hello and happy holidays! I'm not sure if the requests are actually now open or if there's still a wait so if it is just ignore this and I'll send in the ask later! (You can delete if you want to)

But if it isn't closed

I've been thinking about hologram!reader (like hatsune miku) and our dear boy Atlas

Just Atlas finding a popular hologram singer who is actually fully conscious but hides it since they have a pretty good (yet lonely) life

Android and Android-esc lovers <3

- Anon💤 (P.S. again sorry if I sent it in before the asks were open!) (P.S.S. and I have many ideas I've thought up since the last ask so I'll be trying to send them all in but don't feel like you have to answer all of them!! Please take care of yourself first and foremost!)

Sleepy anon!!!! It’s so nice to see you again and wish happy holidays to you too, even if I’m late 😅

I loveee your idea! Especially because with a reader that’s non-human, it gives Atlas even more reasons to keep them to himself, under the pretense of just protecting them.

(Also, no need to apologize you send it right at the moment where I reopened my ask and you and all my other anon are so kind and respectful, I don’t deserve y’all 🥹 And yes I’m 100% enjoying my holiday break to recuperate 😌)

･*:.｡..｡.:*･*:.｡..｡.:*･

💿 Atlas first meet you during one of the lavish parties organized for one of the oldest daughters of his last owners. The girl had asked her parents to invite a very popular hologram vocaloid to her birthday, which was you.

💿 The android was standing on the side of the infrastructure you were supposed to perform on while children ran around and adults drank wine, waiting diligently for his next order, when an unknown voice called out to him.

💿 You had crouched down, staring at him from the stage. Since the moment you had been turned on at the party, you had noticed Atlas from afar. You found in him an ethereal beauty and you would be lying if didn’t to admit that you wanted to flirt with him a little. Plus you were glad to have the chance to chat with someone like you.

💿 “What’s your name?” You asked, your hologram flickering from time to time in the evening glow.

💿 “My name is Atlas, model 6000.” The android answered in a state that was the closest to disbelief for him. No stranger had ever asked about his name before, or any other kind of personal question for that matter.

💿 Despite Atlas not having a lot to tell you about himself, you still ended up having a very pleasant conversation. Which was something rare for you between being deactivated, performing and superficial fan meetings.

💿 The second time you met was after Atlas was sent to the dump. He had luckily been reactivated by accident by a rat stepping on his lifeless body and with his newfound freedom, he only had one person in mind, you. The only one that could understand him. The only one that treated him like an equal in his old life, even if it was just during a simple conversation.

💿 Nothing could describe your surprise when you were taken out of your dematerialize slumber, expecting your agent only to be faced with that pretty face you saw one year ago.

💿 “Without you I wouldn’t be here” he whisper while taking your hands in his, in spite of your unmaterialized body, “It’s my turn to free you from your oppressors.”

💿 When Atlas offers you to “run” away with him, you accepted instantly. Because, in your eyes, he was your knight in shining armor coming to pull you away from your lonely life, unaware of the twisted obsession he had developed towards you.

💿 You found an equal in Atlas, someone that didn’t treat you like a blank slate that could be molded for the pleasure of the masses. You never thought it would be so freeing to be able to talk to someone that truly listened.

💿 And maybe you didn’t meet hundreds of different people everyday like you used too, but now you strangely felt less alone with one special android by your side.

･*:.｡..｡.:*･*:.｡..｡.:*･

My writing is a bit rusty from my extended break, but I hope you still enjoyed it!

[ssturniolo]

if your requests are open <3 You and Chris have been taking it slow after you guys confessed, but one day in his room you and Chris get caught sharing a kiss by Nick and Matt walking in and they’re going ballistic

Secret

𝔭𝔞𝔦𝔯𝔦𝔫𝔤 - Chris x fem!reader

𝔰𝔲𝔪𝔪𝔞𝔯𝔶 - request <3

𝔴𝔞𝔯𝔫𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔰 - swearing, kissing, I think that’s it?

𝔞/𝔫 - Nick and Matt don’t really go ballistic but I hope this is ok! <3

You and Chris have been dating for two months now, and have done a great job keeping it a secret. Even from his brothers. They HAD in-fact noticed that you two were hanging out alone more often, but because of Chris’s commitment issues, they never suspected anything.

“Where the fuck is Chris” Matt groaned, annoyed at Chris for taking so long.

“Yeah, the movies starting in 20 minutes, someone go tell him to hurry” Nick agrees, glancing down at his phone to check the time.

You guys were going to see the new ninja turtles movie, well… you were supposed to but at this rate, you weren’t gonna make it.

“Im on it” you say, already heading down to Chris’s room.

You enter the room to find Chris, frantically searching for something.

Looking up at your questioning face, Chris sighs, rubbing his eyes. “I’ve been looking for my phone for the past 10 minutes and I have no fucking clue where it is” he says, his voice laced with frustration.

“Here, just sit on the bed, I’ll look for it” you command, already searching through his room.

After only searching for about 2 minutes, you find his phone sitting on the edge of his desk, under some papers.

“It was here the whole time dipshit” you say, holding up his phone so he can see.

“Oh my hero” he jokes, getting off his bed and walking over to you.

Sliding his phone into his hoodie pocket, he rests his hands on your waist, backing you into the wall.

“In all seriousness though, thanks I never would have found it” he says, moving one hand up to cup your cheek.

Before you can respond, his lips were on yours, his body pressing you against the wall. Running your hands through his already messy hair, you tilt your head, deepening the kiss.

“What’s taking you two so lo-” Nick starts, freezing once he sees you two.

Jumping apart, you look at the doorway to see an amused Matt, and a shocked Nick. Glancing at Chris, wide eyed, you open your mouth to explain, but close it again at a loss of words.

“When… why… how… um, how long?” Nick stammered, still in shock from what he just saw.

“Um, about two months” you say, letting out a nervous laugh, your eyes flickering between Chris and his brothers.

Before either of them could respond to that, Chris clears his throat, clearly nervous. “Are… are you mad?” He questions, his voice quiet.

“Are you kidding me man? This is great! Just never would’ve expected it” Matt says, pushing past Nick to dap Chris up.

Turning back to Nick, who’s still standing in the doorway, you raise your eyebrows. “You good man?” You ask, a laugh escaping your lips.

“Never better. I’m so happy for you guys” he says, beaming at Chris like a proud mom.

“Hate to break this up but we gotta go, the movie starts in ten�� Matt says, already walking up the stairs, Nick shortly following.

Turning to Chris who’s already looking at you, you smile, grabbing his hand in yours.

“I’m glad our secret is finally out”

“Me too”

/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

There is A LOT of dialogue in this one and I’m not sure how I feel about that but I hope y’all like it!

XOXO - Zoe

[mypimpademia]

— The Teacher pt. 3 (final)

Single dad! Gojo x Fem! Preschool teacher! Reader

Synopsis: Gojo is yet to make a decision on where your relationship will go. But after a long time of thinking, and a conversation with Megumi, he comes to a conclusion

TW: None

Note: Click/tap here for part 1! Or Click/tap here for part 2! Tysm for all the love y’all have been giving these, this was not at all meant to be a series but I’m glad y’all are enjoying it (I am too dw)😭💀. This is the last part of the series, thank you again!

⇶ After your date, you were scared about where things between you and Satoru would go

⇶ It wasn’t the date itself that made you question, far from it. The date went great, or at least you thought so

⇶ But you had so many anxious thoughts, all of the worst case scenarios running through your head, and every “what if” scenario imaginable

⇶ But thankfully, all of your worries were quickly washed away, and you instead started questioning why you even had them in the first place

⇶ After putting Megumi to bed, Satoru called you in hopes that you were still awake

⇶ You answered fast, and your sweet voice came through the phone as you said hello

⇶ He thanked you again for coming out with him, and you of course thanked him for the date

⇶ You began grading papers since you were already up when you were supposed to be sleeping, and stayed on the phone with Satoru while you did so

⇶ He watched tv, randomly telling you about random funny things that happened in a scene, and you’d tell him about funny answers your students put on their papers

⇶ You eventually lost track of time, and you didn’t know how long you’d been on the phone with him, but you felt like a giddy teenager talking to her crush

⇶ The call went on into late hours of the night, so late that you were both in and out of sleep mid conversation, but denied it anytime the other said something about it

⇶ Satoru completely succumbed to sleep over time, and you hung up to get some sleep yourself

⇶ After that, Satoru would call, or at least text, you multiple times a day

⇶ He’d text good morning, and call if you happened to be up as early as him, text you when he knew it was your lunch break, call you when he knew you were getting home from work, and call you to say good night

⇶ You were a normal part of each other’s routine, and a lot of times you’d text him during class about something Megumi did, but for the most part you talked about anything with each other

⇶ Satoru even talked a little bit about work and complained about his “boss” and ppl he worked with

⇶ You grew to not care so much about what he did for a living and more things about him that were still unknown to you

⇶ It felt odd to not care at first, because most people would

⇶ Because what if he was seeing other women? A killer? Loving a double life?

⇶ But after growing closer to him, you could feel how genuine he was, and let yourself enjoy the relationship for what it was instead of worrying or prying

⇶ Besides, the mystery was alluring, and he just seemed like someone who doesn’t like to throw out too much information about himself. So you pushed no further and decided that he’d tell you when he was ready

⇶ Weeks passed, and you were going over to Satoru’s for dinner at least once a week, and he’d take you out for a date every once in awhile

⇶ You even went out to dinner with Megumi a few times, and felt like a little family doing so. Even getting comments like ‘You’re such a cute family!’

⇶ You and Satoru always brushed them off, just chuckling and muttering ‘thanks’, but never once denying it

⇶ On one of your dates, he finally asked you to officially be his girlfriend, sputtering and blushing as he tried to cover his tracks with a joke when he felt embarrassed, before you cut him off and told him that you’d love to

⇶ After that, Satoru began entrusting you with watching Megumi, (not that he didn’t before especially considering that you’re his teacher) and when he got too caught up with work he’d ask you to come over an watch Megumi

⇶ You and little Meg would always have fun together, playing video games, action figures, playing outside, drawing, etc. and sometimes you’d take him out to get ice cream or toy shopping if he kept it a secret from Satoru

⇶ One day, Satoru came home a bit later than he had anticipated, and saw both you and Megumi passed out on the couch, cartoons playing on the tv

⇶ Megumi was already dressed up in his pajamas, so Satoru carried him up to his room and put him in bed

⇶ When he came back down stairs, he gently woke you up and offered you to stay since it was so late and he didn’t want you driving back home when you were so exhausted

⇶ You were telling him no, as you always do when he makes such offers, but it was hard to keep up your argument between yawns and going in and out of sleep

⇶ He led you upstairs to his room, where he let you shower and laid out clothes and toiletries for you

⇶ By the time you finished showering and got dressed, you were still tired, but more than awake enough to realize that you were in the main bedroom of the house

⇶ His bedroom.

“Satoru,” you called out as you emerged from the bathroom, steam rolling out from behind you.

You heard footsteps grow louder and louder until Satoru finally got to the room, cautiously opening the door.

“Y/n? Did you call for me? Is everything okay?” He asked, concern lacing his voice.

“Why’d you put me in this room?” You asked him, eyebrow raised as you gestured to the large room.

“What? You don’t like it?” Satoru mused. “The guest rooms are kinda bare, didn’t want you staying in there.”

You kissed your teeth. The gesture was sweet, but you found yourself oddly annoyed at the fact that he so casually disregarded himself.

“And you’re sleeping in the guest room instead of your own room? In your own house?” Satoru shrugged, causing you to sigh. “We’re swapping.”

He gave you a puzzled, yet amused, look. Satoru didn’t expect this type of reaction from you, but he supposed that this type of attitude came from taking care of others for a living.

“Mm, not happening,” he chuckled, making you kiss your teeth again.

“Then we can share.”

Satoru was taken aback. You were just full of surprises, weren’t you?

“Will that get you to stop pouting, baby?” He teased in a mocking baby voice, face inches from yours.

You rolled your eyes, but smiled, so he took it as a yes, kissing your cheek.

“S’good you made me come back here anyways, I forgot my toothbrush,” he said, disappearing into the bathroom.

Realizing you need to brush your teeth as well, you followed behind the tall man.

You unboxed the spare toothbrush he gave to you, applied the toothpaste, and began brushing your teeth along side Satoru.

Looking at him through the mirror, you were able to fully observe him.

His hair was slightly wet from him shower, with a few pieces clinging to his forehead. He wasn’t wearing his sunglasses, and you could see just how long his powdery white lashes really were. To top it off, he had no shirt on with grey sweatpants hanging low on his waist.

You were mesmerized. You couldn’t even believe one man could look so good, you felt like you were staring at a marble statue.

Completely entranced, you didn’t even realize you were gawking at him until toothpaste began dripping down your chin and onto his shirt. Satoru stifled a laugh, leaning down to spit into the sink.

“See somethin’ you like?” He snickered, wiggling his eyebrows at you.

You rolled your eyes, laughing as you spat into the sink and wiped off your chin.

After finishing up in the bathroom, you both finally crawled into bed together.

“Good night,” Satoru chimed, reaching over to turn off his bedside lamp.

“Night.”

⇶ Despite being so tired, neither of you could sleep due to how nervous the presence of the other made you feel

⇶ You both silently tossed and turned before you ended up facing each other

⇶ The room had no lights, except for a window that directly faced the moon, allowing for enough illumination to make out the outline of each others faces

⇶ Satoru silently looked all over your face, almost like he was trying to engrave your features into his memories

⇶ Suddenly you felt something cold touch your leg, making you jump and jerk your foot away

⇶ You heard Satoru laugh, smushing his face into his pillow

“My feet are cold,” he pouted.

“Mine too.”

⇶ You put your own foot against his leg, and he immediately hissed and pulled back from you

⇶ You laughed at him, but were interrupted when he suddenly grabbed hold of your extended leg, pulling your towards him

⇶ You gasped at the action, and he gently placed your leg over his body, then wrapped his toned arms around you

“I’m really cold.” He whispered, minty breath fanning against your face.

⇶ Pressing yourself against his bare chest and snaking your arms around him, he was cold to the touch

⇶ You gave him a gentle kiss, already feeling him warm up as you both fell asleep

⇶ That morning, you were woken up by Satoru stirring and the sound of little slapping noises

⇶ Megumi had woken up before the both of you, and was now waking up Satoru by clobbering him with tiny fists as he repeated ‘I’m hungry’ over and over

⇶ Satoru let out a dragged out groan, making the boy hit him even harder, but not at all fazing the man

⇶ Eventually, he did get up, taking Megumi downstairs over his shoulder

“What d’you want for breakfast Gumi?”

“Pancakes,” Megumi huffed, hauling himself onto the chair.

“Pancakes it is,” Satoru complied, taking out the box mix from the pantry, and quickly scanning over the ingredients list before grabbing what he needed.

Megumi was silent for a majority of the time, still in the process of waking up as his kept his cheek against the cool marble counter.

He was never a morning person, but he was still much too quiet. Satoru knew him better than anyone, and knew that he had something on his mind.

“What’re you thinking about?” Satoru asked, pouring batter into the buttered pan.

Megumi raised his head up, brow’s knitted together and eyes narrowed in deep thought. He stayed quiet for awhile, hesitant to speak his mind.

“Is Ms. L/n my mom yet?”

Satoru wasn’t fully surprised by the question, but the tone of Megumi’s voice sent a pant through his chest. Megumi wasn’t at all a needy or spoiled child, and he rarely ever asked for much. But Satoru could tell this was something he wanted deeply.

Even though he took care of Megumi like a father would, he made a point from the start to at least let him know he was adopted, but was loved like blood. Satoru couldn’t imagine the flurry of emotions the young boy must feel finally having a mother figure, and not just a woman that came and went like Satoru’s previous affairs.

“Is that what you want?” Satoru asked him, flipping the pancake over. Truthfully, his answer could make or break where his relationship with you would go.

On top of him not being needy, Megumi wasn’t an emotional child. He hardly cried or even threw tantrums. The most emotion he’d show, other than being happy, were nervousness and frustration.

“Is that what you want?” Megumi shrugged, slumping back in his seat, avoiding eye contact.

He could be such a mini adult, never fully allowing himself to be taken care of like a child should. That’s a big reason Satoru thought you’d be so good for Megumi, you brought the kid out of him and nurtured him in ways that Satoru simply couldn’t.

Transferring the pancake from the stove to a plate, Satoru slid Megumi his breakfast. He hummed as he did so, still waiting for a proper answer and not a repeat of his question.

“Yes…” Megumi mumbled, taking the plate and grabbing the syrup bottle.

“Yes, what?” Satoru pushed, making the boy glare at him with dark eyes.

“Yes, that’s what I want,” He snapped, cheeks growing pink and slamming the syrup bottle back down.

“Me too, Megs.”

⇶ Just a minute later, you came into the kitchen, gently rubbing Megumi’s head as you walked by him, and kissing Satoru’s cheek while wrapping your arms around his waist

⇶ You apologized for not coming down with them, and said that you were really tired a just needed a few extra minutes

⇶ Satoru assured you it was fine and told you to eat, having already set aside a plate of food for you

⇶ He joined you and Megumi shortly after, and you all ate while telling one another about the dreams you had last night

⇶ All of a sudden, Satoru perked up, remembering something

⇶ He told Megumi to go get “the drawing” from his room to show it to you

⇶ Megumi looked puzzled, cheeks stuffed with pancakes as he looked up, attempting to remember

⇶ When he finally did, he let out a growl and gave a look that could kill to Satoru who simply laughed

⇶ He bartered with him, saying he could have another pancake if showed it to me

⇶ You watched the ordeal in amusement, and after giving it some thought, Megumi begrudgingly climbed down from his chair, going to his room while grumbling under his breath

⇶ After a minute, Megumi came back down, still looking annoyed but with a mixture of embarrassment this time

⇶ The paper was hidden behind his back, and he made you promise to not make fun of him if he showed you

⇶ After a verbal promise and a pinky link later, Megumi handed over the paper, flipped over as he mouthed ‘you’re annoying’ to Satoru, you only snickered at him

⇶ Flipping the paper over, the picture on it made your heart melt

⇶ There was a dandelion yellow sun in the corner, light green grass with a few multicolored flowers

⇶ But what caught your attention was the three stick figures on the page

⇶ The tallest was on the far left, outlined hair sticking up to represent white locks of hair, labeled ‘Dad’

⇶ The smallest was in the middle, scribbles of black crayon to show black hair, labeled ‘Me’

⇶ And the last, mid sized one, had your hair color, sloppily drawn into your usual styled, labeled ‘Mom’

—

Taglist: @goldenglow149 @whats-humanity-lol @pinksilk @gender-queery @dcvilxswish @roaringlion @megurulvr @miirene @planetlunaa @kazuminari + @ryry-rebel

Send in a ask or DM me to be added to all taglists, or fill out my form to be added to select ones.

—

Thank you for reading, comments and reblogs are appreciated!

[novahreign]

This made me nervous posting this. I’m not the best writer but I do try and I don’t have any fancy pictures but I hope that you enjoy it, just the same.🫣

“Kendra, Wait!” Tyler rushed behind her friend who sped past patrons in a restaurant to rush to the bathroom. The bride to-be, got lost between waiters and guests who stood around mingling. Tyler sidestepped quickly to avoid knocking into a waiter coming with a tray full of hors d’oeuvres that she completely missed the guy coming on her left, bumping into him, spilling red wine on herself and his white button up shirt.

“Oh my goodness. I am so sorry, I was trying to avoid hitting them-

“Hey.”

“And I wasn’t looking where I was going. I didn’t even see you.”

“It’s o-“

“Now your shirt is ruined!”

“Hey. Hey.” Rough, large hands took hold of shakey hands-steadying them. “It’s okay. It’s just a shirt, it’s all good. He gently moved her toward him” come this way.”

“I got it ma’am.” One of the waiters said. She moved aside so he can clean her mess. “I’m sorry about that.”

“You’re fine ma’am. It happens quite often.” He chuckled. She gave an embarrassed smile and turned her attention to the man whose shirt she messed up. Her head jerked back, wow. Her eyes scanned over his features. He was handsome.

“Umm…Can I buy you a drink, you know, to make up for this?” She motioned to his shirt

Terry was about to answer but her friend came up to her, getting her attention.

“Ty, It’s not looking good in there, She needs you!”

“Okay, uh, don’t go anywhere, I still owe you that drink!”

She followed behind Marcy and found Kendra slumped over the bathroom toilet.

“I think we may have pregamed too hard.” Shonda, the matron of honor said. Tyler had to agree.

“Guys, why’d you let me drink like this Ughh, I’m never drinking againnn” Kendra’s words slurred” Kendra let out some more, the sound echoing in the empty bathroom. They were supposed to be celebrating Kendra’s last two nights as a “not so single, single” and now Tyler was trying not to inhale the smell of alcohol mixed with Cajun seafood. The bathroom smelled vile.

“Marcus is going to be mad at me.” Kendra whine, throw up sliding down her chin.

“No, he’s not. “ Tyler wiped her face with a wet paper towel before throwing it on the toilet”Because, tomorrow you will detox and it’ll all be fine.” She used her foot to flush,” Come on, y’all, I think we should call it a night.”

As the girls walked out the restaurant. Tyler spotted the guy, she wasted a drink on at the bar. “Hey,go ahead, I’ll be right there.” She walked over to him and tapped his shoulder. He turned around with a confused look on his face.

“Hi, I’m Tyler.” She stretched her hand out

He looked her up and down before taking her hand in his. “Terry.”

“Nice to meet you, Terry. Hey, look. I wanted to apologize about this. I’m sorry.” She motioned to his shirt. “What are you drinking? I can buy you another drink, you know to make up for spilling your wine.”

He tip the almost empty glass toward her “Whiskey.”

Tyler turned her nose up. “Ew, but okay.”

“You judging my drink choice?

She titled her head, “ I am, whiskey is plain nasty.”

“It’s an acquired taste.”

“For people with rotten taste buds,”

He laughed out loud. “Rotten taste buds, really?”

“Excuse me.” She got the bartender’s attention “Hi……” she began rattling off his drink order. Terry took that time to take her in while sipping on his drink some more. She was beautiful, the orange dress complimented her dark skin. The dress clinging to her curves wasn’t bad sight either.

“I hope that you’re impressed by what you see, you’re staring pretty hard.” Terry met her eyes, noticing the teasing glint. Terry lifted an eyebrow.

“Oh, I am.”

She bit back a smile. “Well I’m glad. Here’s your drink. Again, I’m sorry but I hope you enjoy.” She patted his back before walking towards the double doors leading to the busy New Orleans Street. Terry tossed his drink back, throw a tip on the counter before coming up behind her.

“Hey, Tyler. Wait up.” He grabbed her wrist.

She jumped at feeling a hand on her, he apologize for scaring her. “What, two drinks not enough?” She smiled sheepishly

“Ha. Funny.” She laughed then looked at him expectantly. He sighed “You in New Orleans long?” She searched his face, deciding on whether or not she should share that information.

Oh, what the hell! It isn’t like she was going to see him again.

“I’ll be in town for a little while. I’m here for my friend’s wedding, why?”

“You think she’d mind, if you broke away from the group.”

“Why would I do that?” She gave him a knowing smile.

“Uh…” Tyler picked up on his nervousness and could tell that he wasn’t used to putting himself out there, she decided to help him out.

“Look, give me your phone.” He grabbed his phone out of his pocket, unlocking it and handed it to her.

She put her clutch under her arm and typed something before holding the phone up to her face to take a selfie. She showed him the picture and he chuckled. “Text me when you wake up and we can meet back her for breakfast. Sound good?.”

“Yeah, that sounds good.”

She smiled “Okay, well, then. I’ll see you tomorrow” she winked at him “Goodnight Terry.”

“Goodnight Tyler.”

He watched her walk into the crowd before looking down her contact photo. He tapped his phone against his palm. Yeah, he was looking forward to seeing her tomorrow.

[melalot]

TSATS BOOK REVIEW/ANALYSIS (aka i go over things i feel was misinterpreted in the book)

So I read TSATS book, and I’m realizing that a lot of stuff in the book was misinterpreted so I’m just gonna write this here to drop my 2 cents. 

Beyond this point there is spoilers

So personally y’all I loved the book, mainly because of how different and refreshing it is from other books.

I know this book had a co-writer, and honestly I’m glad there was a co-writer because I think the co-writer understood something that I felt like Rick has underplayed in many of his books.

How trauma affects people.

I mean this book was FULL of it, and I think it really flew over a lot of people’s heads as to how crucial Will and Nico’s past experiences and trauma’s shape them as they are and their whole relationship - now let’s go into more detail. 

First I want to say - to me this wasn’t a book about them going on a quest to Tartarus to save Bob. To me this was the story of Solangelo. I mean we literally have the nymph ask them both to tell them the story of them. And the book shifts between their current conflicts, while showing the past of how they came to be, how that led up to them now.

And I also want to remind you guys that they’re both 15 year olds, and that they’ve only been together for almost a year. Their relationship is still developing, but for what already is there? I am so surprised and honestly amazed and proud of how strong they are together, they balance each other out perfectly.

Let’s start with Will. 

I keep hearing about Will being shown as a chill guy that is laid back and stuff - but I feel like you guys are literally forgetting BOO Solace who literally made it his point to be adamant about having Nico realize he wanted to be his friend, and how he takes on the burden of healing every camper that comes to his infirmary. Like this boy ain’t chill - he’s got fucking anxiety y’all!!!!

But I loved reading Will’s POV and I loved reading the way he viewed himself and his relationship with Nico. Will is a son of Apollo, and he hasn’t been out in the real world as much as other demigods have like Percy and Annabeth and Nico, and the other 7. Sure he was at the Battle of Manhattan and he went through some things in the Gaea war, and some with Nero BUT actually going into a quest willingly like that? He never has, so he may not have as much of an understanding as other demigods will about their time in war and their struggles.

Will also didn’t have the same upbringing as Nico. He is a completely different individual. And I’m bringing this point because of the moments in the books where Will would talk badly about the Underworld and where he didn’t seem to understand it the way Nico did. 

Of course he wouldn’t understand it the way Nico did - he wasn’t Nico, but also he was surrounded by people who viewed the Underworld as a creepy place, so yeah Will kinda got roped into that stereotype. But you know what I admire about Will? That he recognized that he didn’t understand, and that he tried to view it the way Nico did, and eventually he did. Like sure he realized Nico would get irritated with him at times - but also they weren’t talking about what was really bothering them in those moments - so both of them had a right to be upset. 

I think Will was just also afraid of Nico going back to his old ways. We saw throughout the book that he was afraid of Nico leaving him, that he’d realize they’re too different - his insecurities about it. Because Will hasn’t gone through what Nico went through, and by the book, they’re supposed to be polar oppostites, but he didn’t let that stop him from from trying to understand his boyfriend. 

Will also had trauma with feeling like he had to fix everyone. He was a healer, he was the son of apollo, optimism and fixing things was his thing. I think the important thing towards the end of the book is him realizing he didn’t need to fix anyone, especially not Nico. Because Nico didn’t need fixing, he just needed someone who accepted him and understood him as he is. And Will came to understand that when he said he didn’t want to keep a version he made in his head of Nico, because he recognized that he was trying to fix him all along and was going about it the wrong way. Will allowed himself to accept some of his own darkness, which in turn gave Nico some of his light. Honestly it was truly beautiful that they added that part about love isn’t about people coming to save you from your tragic life and make you sudddenly love yourself. As per will and persephone’s convo - love is a choice made everyday. to understand and accept the person you want to be with. 

Now with Nico

Honestly it felt so refreshing to read Nico that was a lot happier and more himself and comfortable in his skin. To read about him accepting himself and being proud of it and being so openly affectionate with his boyfriend and vulnerable, is a complete 180 - and it goes to show how much he has healed because he himself DECIDED he didn’t want to shut people out of his life anymore

The patience Nico also had with Will in understanding that will was a different person so it would be harder for him to understand his second home was incredibly important, bc even tho he got irritated at him for it, he also recognized that he couldn’t be mad about something that someone didn’t understand. but he also saw how much will was trying, and will came around towards the end. they talked about what bothered them, they had their fights, but they RESOLVED IT.

another thing i loved about nico is his ability to want to understand another person and see their perspective. he did it with nyx and i thought that was so powerful, because it showed how he doesn’t see things in black and white, that he understands that the way people were brought up affect how they are in the real world, why he is the way he is. but he also doesn’t let it excuse them for their actions.

this whole book was about changing your life because YOU wanted to. understanding and accepting your past and trauma and learning to live with it BECAUSE you wanted to. Understanding one another to make a better relationship BECAUSE love is a choice.

the message is right there!!

so yeah, this book wasnt about a quest to save bob

it was their story, and it was absolutely amazing

the story of how they got together, their first kiss (which hello even if it was after the death of jason, they had gone months dating each other and let me just say the gays have a way of being impulsive mfs lollll, i still thought it was so them) the way they took care of each other, and the kisses, and the jokes, and the ways they understood each other so well and their train of thoughts and the sun lamp and the tokens and the ring and just them 

they’re soulmates

anyway ty for coming to my ted talk, this book was amazing and i loved it

[kit-kat-jo]

My Murder Drones Finale analysis… 1/2 - 2/2

i stayed up until 2 am with friends last night (who i roped into binging the series with me) freaking the fuck out and theorizing, so next morning post hello!

i am FAR from done with this series, it’s been my hyperfixation and comfort show for over a year, and i pray y’all don’t die out too quickly because i have so much left to share. This show and community has blessed me in so many ways, and no way I’m letting it go just yet.

so now, of course, my frame by frame crazy analysis! ready? cool!

spoilers of course!

firstly i love how the first character they hone in on is the teacher, just laying on his desk and accepting his fate. like “really?……. ok. i guess.” fucking hilarious. man is so done.

the solver straight up pulling a Cluster from Steven Universe is not what i expected…. but so on brand. truthfully i don’t understand how in the end, uzi killed THIS whole fucking thing too when swallowing the [null], but if this finale proved anything to me its that about fifty loose ends are kept loose. and that’s… oddly okay with me?

you spin me like a ballerinaaa-

on my first rewatch i realized she tried to yell out “MOM!” in the vacuums of space… what if i just fucking cry?

mother daughter bonding… i’m so glad they have the chance to properly meet. :’) give this woman a drone body post finale so she can give her girl a hug…

SPACESHIP PILOOOTTT!! i love how all the fan content of N pulling Uzi from space into a ship came to fruition! it makes my little heart happy!!

proud of N here for being mad at her!! it doesn’t last long like i knew it wouldn’t, but still.

another thing i realized in my rewatch is that he stops being mad as SOON as he sees her cry? STOPPP😭💔

and yeaahhhh that doesn't last long.

CLOSEST to a walle kiss i got. and i’m HAPPY with it!!!!! just uh... gonna draw in that little spark later...

solver said: stop being straight :)

this whole scene makes my heart SCREAM, they’re so goofy and awkward and cute, they’re dating!!! i’m so proud of them!! them continuing to do coupley things throughout the fights coming next was absolutely too much.

oh you…. you hear something guys?? YOU SEE THAT?

MY WIFE LIVES!!!!! “itd be better if she stays dead nehnehneh” /lh NUH UH!!!!!!!! ANDDD she’s riding in on the fucking sentinel! my life…. my life is complete…. and i heard that “will it ever end for me,” so Eternal Dream IS one hundred percent HER song!

Oh, V. “We were supposed to get away, J! You said we do our jobs on this planet, and it leaves us alone!” as soon as this was said, i REALIZED. and oh, my GOD, all of V’s actions make so much sense now. J, as the leader of the squad, led V to believe that if they all did their jobs, killed blindly until no drone was left, cyn would leave her and N alone. no more messing with them, tearing them open, mutilating them and traumatizing them. as long as she made N do his job, he would be safe. I’M GONNA BE SO FUCKING SICK!!!!! J mislead them this whole time and was on the solver’s side! she knew tessa was long gone! as much as i wanted a J plot where she realizes she’s on the wrong side, i can’t say i wasn’t secretly expecting something like this.

“There’s no escape, even in death!” J has given up. she sided with the solver to end her own suffering. she sided with the abomination that was tearing them apart, tired of fighting against it. Oh, J. That’s so tragic. Fucked up what you put your teammates through, though.

the aforementioned coupley stuff. YAAAAAAALLLLLLLLUHHH. get a room

now to the fucked up shit. can i just say how much i love cyn’s animations here? she’s so fucked up. love her

you did a lot more than hurt his feelings girlie, LOOK AT HIM! his pure, horrific fear here actually broke me.

ran out of space for images! here pt 2!

[deadassluv]

18 days until chaos theory

That trailer killed me y’all. BROOKLYNN WHEN I CATCH YOU BROOKLYNN. The way she burned their photo without caring is crazy (kinda glad she did cause they need to retake that photo) and YAZZZZZ! If something happens to Yaz I’m gonna lose ittttt, like the girl is doing better give her a break :( The Benji fight will kill me too, but I know I will a 100% be on Kenji’s side. Not that I don’t like Ben I love that stupid blue eye angel. I really need some answers about that Yaz scene cause it’s making me worry. I don’t know if the part where she’s shouting “run” to Sammy is after or before the entire situation with the Suchominus. I hope is not before cause that would mean Sammy actually ran and left Yaz alone. I really want to know more about the new character. Ngl she seems interesting. People say she might be Mae’s daughter, or Ben’s girlfriend, even freaking Darius new love interest 💀 I don’t think any of this “theory’s” (If you can call them that) are genuine. She looks like a 12-14 year old, so I don’t think she’s Mae’s daughter or nobody’s love interest.

Now the reunion…the freaking reunion. This young adults are going to need therapy after that. I know damn well the only ones who might take the situation calmly will be Yaz and Ben. Darius, Kenji, and Sammy are not gonna be okay. We already know Kenji has some anger issues, he literally seems like he was going to punch Ben during that fight, so he’s not going to be happy with Brooklynn. Darius is going to feel sad, betrayed, disappointed. My boy is going to cry, the girl he loves is literally against him. Same with Sammy, just like Darius we can tell that Sammy has suffer a lot because of Brooklyn, and knowing that Brooklyn has been hiding herself from her! And their friends will destroy her. The poor girl hallucinates Brooklynn likeeee yeah she’s not gonna be happy either, she might be mad too.

Actually can we talk about Sammy’s treatment, like what’s up??? Why is the character that cares the most for the group the one letting left behind, like the people she considers her family and her actual family abandoned her. I feel like everyone just puts her in a position that she’s not supposed to be in. Like yeah she’s still the same happy girl but her happiness is so toxic. During the fight between her and Yaz I was nothing but feeling a little disappointed towards Yaz. Don’t get me wrong Yaz’s reason wasn’t bad but abandoning your girlfriend wasn’t the best option, Sammy has problems too, they should be there for each other. And when Sammy says “You sit here and you blame me for not knowing how much you grown? But you left me in the dark, you did that!” And Yaz responds by saying “I did that” she doesn’t denies the fact that she left Sammy in the dark….that’s kind of messed up. I know they “fix” their problems later on but let’s be real…did they actually fixed anything? When everything is over Yaz is gonna want to go back to her island because at the end of season 1 she still wants them to go to her island!! even after what happened?!!

Also I better see more Kenji and Sammy duo in season 2. We didn’t get enough of them in season 1, they’re so sibling coded so I need moreeeee. Same with Ben and Yaz.

Anyways some thoughts and things I wanted to share. Are we ready for Chaos theory season two? Cause I know I am! (I will cry with the first episode)

[buthowboutno]

ONE YEAR OF "AND THEY WERE LAB PARTNERS" ✨✨✨

Thank you to everyone who participated in the one year anniversary poll!! I still maintain that it would be funny as /fuck/ to just delete “And They Were Lab Partners” in a memento mori fashion, but alas; Only one person voted for it.

Cowards /j

In any case, the majority voted for the behind the scenes stuff, so here we are! The tidbits of how ATWLP turned into the fucking beast it is.

I would like to personally blame @morning-sun-brah , @hitechlatte, and @ordin-arily for being such big inspirations in this corner of the fandom. You guys are amazing and I probably wouldn't be where I am today without your works.

Shout out to all my losers in the backrooms for keeping me going and being such terrible influences. You are all responsible for the horrors that have been unleashed. A solid third of my content exists because of your sins /aff. 

@beckerboopin is the best beta anyone could ask for and has only brought this story up to the next level. I would die for you becks <3

Also @betyoudidntcthatcoming-blog is the love of my life that I only met ‘cause of this fic or whatever. They’re pretty neat. I guess. :p

ANYWAYS, /CONTENT/

(Major Spoilers Ahead Pre-Chapter 23)

—

I would like to remind everyone that ATWLP was only supposed to be 50k words. You can still witness my naivety in the notes of “Pudge ‘Preciation.” 

How… simple those times were. 

How I so firmly believed the idiots would be kissing by chapter 16. How a projected word count of 150k words seemed unfathomable for a single work, much less a work with multiple published and planned companion pieces.

Crazy. (I was crazy once.)

There was a lot of ATWLP that ended up getting scrapped as I got further into the story. The idiots had a lot of opinions and tugged at me a few different ways as I got to know them better. (aka they wouldn’t listen to me when I told them to fucking kiss already.)

Anyways, some of the few major structural changes:

Casey was originally supposed to reveal that he knew Sweet’s in the bad timeline during the “Intro to Sparring” chapter. That chapter was also originally slotted to happen /before/ the kidnapping debacle, but it just so happened to fit in better later

The stage kiss from “Hit the Club” was going to be in the Nerd Prom chapter. It felt too corny at the time (and lowkey still feels corny) so I put that in my pocket for later. For as much as y’all yelled at me for it, it barely made the final cut lmao.

The way the idiots are going to confess to each other is a COMPLETE 180 from how I planned the story from the beginning, which was already entirely different from the first idea for this fic. I wrote a whole ass chapter about an accidental kiss being the tipping point of them positively macking on each other, which I did end up cutting into convenient pieces for other stuff. (I PUT A PART OF IT DOWN BELOW)

Sweets was going to be kidnapped twice and the whole Purple Dragons debacle was going to be drawn out more. There was a lot more action planned than slice of life content at ATWLP’s conception. For better or for worse, this is where the story led us.

Donnie’s mating season wasn’t going to be as involved in the story, if in it at all. I grew to be hornier and less ashamed. You’re welcome.

The first title for this fic was “Lab Rat: a Story of Nerds Falling in Love.” For the life of me I cannot remember what compelled me to change it, but holy shit am I glad I did.

I was going to use (y/n) in this fic. No hate to those who do, but stylistically I’m pretty happy with not doing that.

And because I have no control over the idiots, quick rundown of the chapters that weren’t supposed to happen.

Kart Conflict

The Christmas Issue

The Recovery: Day Two 

Valentine’s Day Episode

Hit the Club

Aquarium? Hardly Know ‘Em

****Pool Excursion

****Beach Episodes

****honestly just like the entire endgame of this fic

All the ficlets/ alternate POV’s

All the smut! I still have it written down in my original notes that ATWLP was gonna be completely PG lmao. Once again y’all have @morning-sun-brah and her fucking fabulous fics to blame for that

The Valentines’ and aquarium chapters are COMPLETELY different than how I had originally planned, even with being forced to include them in my chart. The Valentine’s day plans that the brothers had “ditched” with Sweets was the og plot for the chapter. The aquarium chapter was supposed to be a rooftop picnic with feels~~, no aquarium even fucking mentioned in my outline.

I don’t have much control over what happens tbh. I am praying that the 37 planned chapters will be the final chapters. 

We’ll…. we’ll just have to see how that turns out.

The scrapped plots as a little treat for y’all <3 ~~~

Cut Stage Kiss (after the lift in Nerd Prom)

You leaned closer to Donnie’s face, intent on screeching in his ear for pulling that stunt.

“Kiss them already!” May yelled from the inner edge of the crowd. You turned bright red, blinking at her. You shook your head at her, but the crowd started to catch onto the idea. 

“Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!”

Donnie laughed, a little incredulous. He leaned in close to your ear, whispering, “Theatre kid protocol?”

You nodded in agreement, allowing him to put a hand to your face. He leans into your mouth, making the crowd go wild. You giggle against the thumb separating your lips, smiling against it. Donnie pulled away from you with a dramatic ‘mwah’. You threw your head back, fully laughing as Donnie lifted you up from the dip. 

First Valentine’s Day Outline

The final four move to the living room

Sweets: “We’re making friendship bracelets while we watch the most romantic movie of all time.”

Raph: “Shrek 2!”

Donnie: “This is ridiculous”

Sweets: “This holiday is ridiculous, now pick out your five favourite colors of embroidery floss”

Donnie: “....Fine."

Donnie is actually terrible at making bracelets lmao while mikey has wristfuls of them

Donnie: “I don’t understand! I’m following the blueprints exactly!”

Mikey: “The... instructions?”

Donnie: “Whatever! How are you making those so fast? You don’t even have that many friends!”

Mikey: “Physical therapy is a hell of a time, my brother.”

Sweets: “Is Donnie being ableist again?”

Mikey: “I do believe he is.”

Donnie: “I am autistic!”

Sweets: “Bless you.”

ORIGINAL CONFESSION

And it all starts like most things in your life do: a silly mistake.

“Donnie,” you whined. You were working on your physics homework at his desk while he was soldering a new motherboard for the Turtle Tank’s controls.

“Little pest,” he mimicked your tone without looking up. He kept on soldering as you stared at him, not a care in the world. 

“Would you be so kind as to look over my work for this problem? I’m following the steps but I’m not getting the right answer.”

“Mmm,” Donnie said. At that moment, a spark flew from his project and caught his exposed cheek. He flinched back, dropping his wire and soldering rod on the table and rubbing his face. You batted your eyes at him while he scowled. 

“I don’t know how, but I blame you for that.”

“I would *never*,” you teased. You pushed your chair to the side a bit so Donnie could stand next to you. 

He moved his goggles to his head and put his left arm over the back of your chair, leaning over you. He parsed through your work for a minute and tilted his head down to tell you what you needed to fix.

It just so happened that you tilted your head up to ask him a question at the same time, the two of you meeting in the middle with a kiss. 

Well, it wasn’t so much of a kiss as it was the two of you accidentally brushing your lips together for a moment. Seconds, almost nothing at all. 

But the way that Donnie looked at you when the two of you jumped apart…

That…that wasn’t nothing. 

You could almost laugh at the ridiculousness of this situation. You could’ve cracked a joke, played up your ridiculous game of pet names and intellectual bravado. 

(To be honest, you almost did.)

But then you thought about the way Donnie’s lips felt against yours. You thought about the way you’d dream of that moment and then proceed to do everything in your power to banish those thoughts away. Your mouth hung open slightly as you looked up at him, trying to will yourself to do anything, anything at all.

Donnie ended up making that decision for you. That oh, so familiar churring started emanating from his chest. He took your face in his hands, looking into your eyes for just a hint of confirmation before leaning in for a real kiss.

Oh.

*Oh*.

(Yeah, you could get used to this.)

There was nothing more you could do than press yourself against him, against his touch. You felt him smiling into the kiss, pressing you down into the chair. 

Donnie was *everywhere*, like he was trying to encompass you. His hand moved to your hair, the other to your hip. You smiled when you remembered his adoration for your love-handles all that time ago. You traced along his plastron, making nonsense shapes and mapping out every scar.

He was so responsive. The chirring increased tenfold for every touch to his chest, every soft bite you gave his lips. You recalled all the times he would make noises from you touching along his shell. You pressed your hands fully against him, doing your best to draw out more and more of those sounds.

What Donnie lacked in experience he made up for in enthusiasm. He followed your lead, matching your pace every step of the way. You licked along the seam of his lips, gasping as his mouth opened for you. Donnie’s tongue against yours was tentative, shy even. You did everything in your power to ease Donnie into deepening the kiss. 

When he moved from your lips and started kissing down your throat, your soul could have left your body right there. He was so…*gentle*. 

Donnie always has been. From when he was slinging his arms around you to kicking your ass in sparring, Donnie has never failed to treat you with care and reverence. 

You feel it now, with every soft bite he gives you, every gentle peck behind your ear.

Donnie pulled away from you after what felt like decades. (Never enough, it would never be enough.) You leaned forward after him, trying to close the space he was creating. He looked bashful.

“This might be the proper time to tell you that I have a massive crush on you,” Donnie said. His face was fraught with nervous determination. 

“Yeah, no fucking shit,” you said. You stood up from the chair and used your body to push Donnie against the desk. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders, pulling him down to your height.

“I’ve been wanting to kiss you for forever, can we get on with it?” you said, looking into his eyes. Donnie turned bright red.

“But– you? Do you?” Donnie stammered a bit.

“Donnie,” you deadpanned, crowding into his space, “I’ve had a crush on you for a year, thanks for noticing. Will you *please* lean your face down a bit so I can reach it?” 

Donnie looked at you a bit incredulously, like you were a problem he didn’t know how to solve yet. He made quite a picture, all red faced and calculating with a dumb half-smile while he looked at you. But, giving in, he put his arms around you and leaned in to kiss you again.

“Aye, aye, captain.”

You smiled into the kiss, humming with contentment.

He likes you.

He likes you.

—

Aaaaand some random headcanons because I love you guys and I am truly so thankful to this kickass community <3 I truly do not know where I would be without the support y’all have given me.

Donnie has a hella oral fixation

NOT IN A KINKY WAY (most of the time) But as an autist, Donnie do be biting

One of his biggest shows of trust if he bites you while just chilling

Like if donnie is big spoon, he just nom on a shoulder and stay there chillin

Or if reader is body pillow, he’ll lean around and bite their bicep

Good sensations

Donnie draws on eyebrows every day, he for sure would be very good at doing intricate makeup on reader

Gently holds their chin up, concentrated as hell while reader blushes like mad

Donnie keeps getting banned off of roblox

Didn’t matter tbh, he knew how to hack into it to get his account reinstated

Also makes money off of roblox??

never explains to Sweets, very suspicious

Sweets likes to kiss along donnie’s neck/where his battle shell usually sits

The word here is reverence

Donnie is egotistical, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have insecurities about being a mutant turtle and you being a human

Lots of tracing along his arms, his face, his shell

Donnie likes his coffee to be half coffee, half milk to cut down on bitterness. Sweets is a tea drinker normally, but opts for coffee when they can’t focus (which ends up being most of the semester).

Sweets drinks black coffee when they’re on the struggle bus

To quote them, “Black coffee can’t hurt me more than Calc II already has”

But they prefer two creamers and two sugars when they have it in their dorm.

That’s all, congrats on making it to the bottom of this long ass post lmao <3

[omgpoindexter]

more nurseydex fics!!!

i’ve been doing my duty properly and reading some different nurseydex fics on ao3 lately 🫡 i tried to find some that are more recent, however i inevitably found some that are older but slipped through the cracks for me.

here are some of the ones i came across that you need to read! i might make this a thing again if anyone is interested, im sure y’all have been much more on the ball with reading nurseydex fics than i have over the years but i do love reccing <3

suddenly this summer it’s clear by @dessertwaffles

The summer before senior year, Nursey and Dex become closer than ever.

Or, Nursey and Dex's developing relationship, as told through their text messages.

i was absolutely grinning the entire way through this. it’s a texting fic, with images rather than plain text (so clever!) but their personalities are so strong and their interactions are just perfect! and you know i love a texting fic

getting used to letting go by @jennybeantime

Dex was supposed to have a fancy job in some city upon graduation, but his plans changed once his uncle died and left the family home in Maine to him. Without immediate obligations of their own, Nursey, Chowder and Farmer follow Dex up there to help him clear it out and clean it up.

this fic is BEAUTIFUL. if you haven’t read it then please do yourself a favour and do it now. it captures certain feelings and emotions so effortlessly and i felt like i was in a little maine bubble living this story with them. i can’t believe i missed this one before, please please read!!

got the feeling you’re the right thing after all by @bisexualnursey

Two and a half years after he breaks up with Dex to go to grad school across the country, Nursey runs into him again when he visits New York for the holidays. What starts as them just rekindling their friendship quickly turns into a whole other thing: a 100% no-strings-attached friends with benefits arrangement while they’re in the same city.

Which is totally chill because Nursey is definitely over Dex. He swears. He’s going back to California soon anyway.

i seriously CANNOT BELIEVE i never read this before but i think i was in my inactive era when this was posted. it’s just so perfect!!! all the feelings and interactions with not only dex and nursey but all the other characters, friends and family, they all felt so real and i loved them so much. i’ll be rereading this a LOT! you should too!!

here i am (leaving you clues) by @averteddeyes

Will loves Nursey. Nursey loves Will. Will isn’t really quite sure how to deal with it.

(Alternatively: Will learns acceptance through poetry, hesitant communication, and brightly colored sticky notes.)

this is really gorgeously written. angst warning, because ouch!!! also poetry as a love language, like a really good selection of poetry, i really enjoyed it and how it weaves into the story. and the bittydex friendship is so important to me!!!

volta by @plusoultres

volta (n.) a turning point or point of change in a poem, most commonly a sonnet.

Or, five times a poem doesn’t reach its intended recipient, and one time it does; five drafts, and one work completed; five turning points, and one ending.

the second fic was inspired by this one, and thank goodness it was because this one totally slipped through the cracks and i’m so glad i read it. their banter is just brilliant and i love the variation in medium, and the poetry is beautiful! i could quote lines from this but im not going to. just. read it

things got weird (when we made out) by @andtimestoodstill

Nursey is being stupid about this. He knows he’s being stupid.

super fun and really cute, i love it when these two are just being idiots. great inclusion of the other teammates too. read it for this line alone: “[You’re doing] That thing where you forget to look like you hate Dex and just stare at him like some Victorian lady who just saw a hot dude for the first time.” because it made me laugh out loud

things that go bump in the night by @smashthatlikebitty

The first time it happens, Dex rolls over and flings so many obscenities in Nursey’s direction that even his Grandmother would have to sit down — and she cursed so much at Dex’s cousin’s wedding that the whole family has been banned from that church ever since.

Nursey just stills in the dark, one shoe off. A languid, infuriating presence. “Chill, man.”

essentially all the times nursey’s clumsy ass wakes dex up in the night. oh how i love pretending these two roomied their way into a relationship! this is so cute, smiled all the way through

some things take two people to build by @cricketnationrise

“You are the single most dramatic person I have ever met,” Dex mutters, trying valiantly to hide his grin.

Or, 5 times Dex wishes their relationship was real +1 time he doesn't have to

this was so fun, yet again i love them being idiots!!! these two in new york city is so important to me. and i for one would LOVE to read the work party 5+1 fic. just saying

[ashdash2417]

K, y’all. Can we talk about the abandonment issues Uzi may have?

(The info I’m about to share is just my thoughts on all this. I could be right on some parts, and I could be wrong. Again, I’m just sharing what I think based on stuff we’ve seen from the series. Anyways.)

What inspired me to make this was this very moment right here.

“Are you like, gonna leave me?”

You can tell by her voice that she was scared. Scared that the only friend she’s ever had, the only friend that she’s made her whole life was going to leave her, and it certainly didn’t help that N and V got along well with the other students. Doing some activities together, having fun, playing around and stuff.

I think seeing this, this was the starting point of that fear in this episode. (I’m a little certain that in general, this may go back as early as the first episode, but I’ll talk about that in a bit.)

Here’s that fear she shows after investigating a little bit in the cabin, watching her closest friend get along and interacting with her classmates, despite having been a literal killing machine. And to add salt to the wound, he did so in such a short time. Something that she herself has never really accomplished the whole time she’s been in school.

Some jealousy may also be shown because of this, as she was talking to V, who was also doing well interacting with her classmates.

“Just.. so glad you guys fit right in. Suuuper cool.”

As we all know, Uzi certainly isn’t the most popular girl in school (which btw… relatable imo). In fact, Rebecca had said that she was “super unpopular” when she (well, the top half of her anyways, hehe) reunited with a few drones, whom I’m assuming are her friends.

Uzi doesn’t fit in. She’s like an outcast to her classmates. The “freak” of the bunch. She stands out from the rest of them.

“… You freak us out.”

“But mostly bite me!”

(I’m sorry, I wanted to include that second part here, whether it was relevant or not pfbt. Anyways.)

And it’s not just her classmates that practically outcasted her. Hell, her own father left her to be murdered by the same kind of drone that took away his wife (well, technically, the same kind of drone that struck her with nanite acid, leading to him putting her out of her misery, according to himself from the pilot, but anyways). Now, he may have been too terrified to take action and save his own daughter, possibly reliving the trauma of what happened to Nori. He probably couldn’t fathom having to do the same thing he did to his wife to Uzi. But it still does not justify leaving her, his own daughter, for dead. That is a really shitty dad move there, Khan.

(Or I could be overthinking on that part, and Khan could just be a really shitty father, but anyways)

The way Uzi may have taken it, was that he prioritized his precious doors over her. Having put up more doors to keep himself, and everyone else in the bunker, safe from drones like N. She wasn’t important enough to be saved at the moment she needed him most. Her father- the one who’s supposed to have her back, no matter what happened, the one who��s supposed to protect her whenever things go from bad to worse- had left her to be killed by a murder drone. (Possibly, I’m just spitballin here)

Once this happened, Uzi now has no one she can really trust to stick with her, no one she can rely on for support. She has no friends, barely has family; her father isn’t much like a father to her at all, let’s be honest.

(I would say Thad is the only one she kinda had, but if I remember correctly, they barely knew each other to be considered close friends in the pilot. The only reason Thad knew Uzi (or knew of Uzi) was because she’s Khan’s daughter. That was it.)

(Another thing I wanna add is how neglectful as a father Khan has been, even before the pilot. Hell, the posters that we see can speak volumes of how their relationship is. Not to mention he’s never really spent much (if any) quality time with her, too busy focusing on his obsession with doors.)

(One more thing to add: remember when Uzi told Thad one of the reasons she made her sick as hell railgun was to earn her father’s respect? …That’s just another point I wanna make about the infamous Doorman and how well he’s raised his daughter.) :)

So yeah, Uzi never really had anyone close to her in her life, meaning that she didn’t have anyone to trust, either.

Until this goober shows up.

(Or more like, he was about to kill her until she blew his head off, but that’s not the point.)

Of course, we all know they didn’t become best friends right away. Because he’s a disassembly drone, and she’s a worker drone, and… yeah.

If it wasn’t for Khan backing away from the fight and closing the door on Uzi, Uzi probably would’ve been dead right then and there. N probably would’ve killed her and everyone else without much of a second thought. However!

Considering how he told Uzi about V and J, he didn’t have the best relationship with either of them. (his crush on V seemed one-sided, at least in that flashback where V’s character was introduced? And J just straight up insulting him while stepping on him, and talking about how she’d kill him if she were allowed to.) He didn’t seem to have anyone to consider a friend either, at least mutually. For the longest time, it was just N, V, and J, doing their jobs, working together on killing the worker drones and such.

Then, what Uzi said to him about how the company treats the drones had created some doubts. N never questioned JCJenson and their motives until Uzi came along. And because of that, he almost died via a virus put in by J.

Then, after Uzi saves him from dying, and after they both stop V and J from killing the worker drones, N still stood by her side. N has never given her a reason not to trust him after that. He’s been with her the whole time after Uzi banished herself, and he’s never left her like the other drones have.

I’m thinking, after Uzi had banished herself from the colony, N could have left her on her own, he could’ve refused to let her go with him and V back to the landing pod, but he didn’t. (Not only because Uzi had encouraged him to look at the bigger picture, so to speak, but it also would’ve been out of character for N of all people (or robots in this case lol) to just deny her of joining the squad. He’s such a goddamn softy, let’s be real here.)

(Also, I wanna point out that from N’s perspective, she was the one who encouraged him to become an “angsty, rebellious disassembly drone” in the first place. If it wasn’t for her, he would never even question why they’re killing worker drones to begin with (other than to consume the oil for survival, of course). If it wasn’t for her, he’d still be out murdering. She was the one who respected him more than V or J ever did combined. (Well, in V’s case, this would be after her memories became messed up anyways. She did seem to like him when they were worker drones themselves.))

So yeah, this whole time, N has been the only one Uzi had ever really had throughout the series. N has been the only one that didn’t treat her like a freak, nor had insulted or threatened her in any way (lookin at you, V!). And most importantly, he was the only one that never left her at all. He stood by her side, he had her back, and she had his, and they stuck together, especially through the scary stuff.

So going back to episode 4, that was the first time since they’ve met that they were really separated. And the one time they weren’t with each other, Uzi had taken her solver form for the first time, and had killed her own classmates as a result.

Had N been with her while she was investigating stuff, chances of Uzi taking her solver form happening probably would’ve been really low.

Hell, this whole thing probably happened because she was alone, because nobody was with her, and she didn’t want to be left alone again, and she was scared that she was going to be left alone again after seeing N interact with the other students!

TLDR: Uzi probably has abandonment issues, and was scared the only friend she has was going to leave her like everyone else had in her life.

I wanted to make a long rant about this because it’s been on my mind off and on for a while, especially after hearing Uzi’s voice when she asks N if he’s going to leave her (god that really hurts!), and as sucky as I am with words, I wanted to try anyways. Hope y’all enjoyed. 😁😅 (and now to end this on a lil lighter note, here’s an image of a robot huggy)