#i suppose i must get used to plugging my ears when they bring up the age when I'm playing a character thats in their 40s or older

[vangbelsing]

Actually you know what? Be silent bioware, let a master cook.

Emmrich still calling an older Rook "bright eyed" and "fresh faced" because he not only finds them stunning, but is showing them their beauty isn't tarnished by age. Emmrich clearly feels a degree of insecurity in respect to himself, so imagine. He doesn't want his partner of a similar age to feel that. Their soul, that which encompasses their being, sparks with all the vibrance of youth and beauty to him. They invigorate him. They restore that vigor to one another.

Thank you for coming to my Tedtalk

[foldingfittedsheets]

The dog I think of as My Dog was picked up from the shelter when I was about 16 and he was six months old. He was a cattle dog mix, which at the time was really uncommon in our area.

We were only getting a dog because my mom was worried about home invaders which was a bit insane as we were out in the country and we’d left our German Shepherd down in Arizona with my dad for complicated reasons.

I turned the corner and saw him. Instant connection. He was curled up dozing, all blue and white freckles with red ears and feeties. His clipboard said “SLY” in huge red letters. I called it softly and he opened his eyes, ears perking. He roused to sleepily amble toward me, lick my fingers, then go lay back down.

My mom joined me in dismay, seeing the love dripping off of me. She hadn’t wanted a puppy but it was clear which dog we were going home with.

Sly was a monstrous puppy. Fans of cattle dogs will be unsurprised to learn he was exceedingly clever, mischievous and Bored a Lot. It turned out his name hadn’t been Sly. It was Billy. But I think we all know why a huge red warning had been applied to his kennel. We named him Sly anyway.

My mom doesn’t remember threatening in earnest to bring him back but it happened. Sly loved to chew. He had no interest in fetch or most toys but he adored chewing. I lost headphones, backpack straps, and pillows to his voracious teething. We tried to dissuade him. He just learned to chew when we weren’t looking. Then one day, clever but not smart, he set his teeth to a plugged in cord and electrocuted himself. He was fine, just really startled!

Thus ended the chewing, forever.

He wouldn’t even pick up toys. He was fully convinced having things in his mouth was only a matter of time before they turned on him. He’d run after a ball at dog parks, grab it in the euphoria of the chase, then immediately spit it out.

He was still a lot of dog and my moms rumblings about his poor behavior led me to join 4H with him. My friend Lia was in with her spaniels so I had an in. We did twice weekly training in obedience and showmanship.

That was it. Sly transformed into the best dog. From a bored unmanageable puppy he became a partner, ready to work on whatever we needed to work on. He learned buckets of commands, eager to please. Sit, down, wait, stand, front, back up, shake, roll, heel. The only thing we could never convince him to do was speak. His bark was reserved for Danger.

We went to compete in the county fair together, entering obedience trials and dog show portions.

The instructions are clearly stated before obedience testing. A dog must stay sitting for two minutes when told to stay, and three minutes for laying down. If our dog broke we were not supposed to speak to reissue commands, simply wait quietly.

It was us in a line with five other dogs. He passed the sitting part just fine. The down one was longer and a wretched golden retriever broke. But then his trainer pulled out a ball and started trying to redirect him with it. The other dogs watched with interest but stayed down. Sly started up. He desperately wanted to herd the golden back into place.

With elbows off the ground he froze, realizing his mistake. His head whipped to me. In silence, I swept my arm down in the nonverbal command for down. He dropped obediently and watched me fixedly for the rest of the time. I think he could feel my disappointment.

We failed.

But the judge came up to us afterward as I was petting him and said, “I was so impressed your dog knows nonverbal commands, and that other dog was so distracting! Let’s retest with the next batch.”

I was thrilled and Sly was steadfast, staring unblinkly at me for the full three minutes with utter determination. He won blue ribbons in obedience and got later best in breed since there was no other cattle dogs.

[woso-dreamzzz]

Ruin

Alexia Putellas x Pre-Teen!Reader

Jenni Hermoso x Pre-Teen!Reader

Summary: Your guardians fight for custody

You had dealt with lawyers before.

You had dealt with case workers before.

Nearly your whole life in the system meant you were familiar with both.

Seeing them never got easier as you sit outside the meeting room, hunched over as you stare at the phone battery that's rapidly depleting.

You'd plugged it in to charge last night but it hadn't.

The wire's been faulty for a while now, one of those chargers that you have to move to the right angle to make sure it works.

You suppose it must have moved in the night.

You can just about hear the low murmur of conversations if you strain your ears but you don't.

You don't want to hear what they're saying.

"Drink? Food?"

"I'm fine."

"Are you sure?"

You turn away from your case worker, angling your body as far away as you can get without falling off your seat.

She'd been responsible for you for eleven years, right back to when you were a baby and your first set of parents had their rights terminated. You thought last year would be the last you would see of her.

"I'm fine," You insist.

"It's okay not to be."

"I know that. It still doesn't change the fact that I'm fine."

You both know you're lying.

She knows you well enough to not bring it up again, merely offering you a few of the hard boiled sweets from the reception desk.

"They won't decide anything without your input, you know."

"They're adults," You say dismissively," That's all they ever do."

"You're twelve now. Your wishes are taken into account."

"Only if it goes to court. Only in front of a judge. If they sign an agreement here and now, they don't have to talk to me about it."

Your caseworker looks like she wants to say something but a bang of a table has her stopping.

Jenni's voice in the meeting room is raised and Alexia's rises to meet it.

The fractures in the relationship were already there by the time you arrived. Small at first but steadily growing bigger and bigger.

You hadn't known it at the time but you know it now.

You had been adopted to salvage their relationship.

It's what a lot of people did. Have a child in the hope that it would bring the relationship together again.

It had worked, for a short while but the cracks hadn't healed. They'd simply been painted over for a little while. All it had taken was a little rock of the foundations, a little change in the norm.

They always came back and soon Alexia and Jenni were arguing where they thought you couldn't hear them and driving separately to practice.

Now, Jenni was moving to Mexico and the tender hooks they were on were failing.

You were hanging on a cliff and they were too busy arguing to notice your grip slipping, ready to plummet into the abyss below.

"You're not taking my daughter from me!"

You stand, unwilling to hear anymore.

"I'm going to the toilet."

It's a single stall, a door lock that you use as soon as you're inside.

You sit on the toilet lid, willing your shaking hands to stop as you clench them into fists. Your fingernails dig into the soft flesh until you're almost certain you've broken skin.

You hate this.

You hate the lawyers and their cool indifference towards you.

You hate your caseworker and her faux sympathy.

You hate Alexia and Jenni for putting you in this situation in the first place. You hate them for thinking a child would salvage an already broken relationship. You hate that they've made you their daughter. You hate that they've tied themselves into you in a way that you can't get away from.

Your phone dies, the music from your earphones cutting out instantly and you sigh, tugging them out of your ears and wrapping them around your phone.

They're an old pair, still wired and plugged in.

Jenni and Alexia have showered you in presents since the moment the adoption went through. You had a pair of Bluetooth ones but you've never used them, not since the presents stopped coming from them together and started coming separately.

They were always one upping each other.

If Alexia bought you Airpods, Jenni bought you a pair of Beats.

If Alexia bought you a Switch, Jenni bought you an XBox.

You blow out all your air noisily, the shuffling at the door alerting you to the fact that your caseworker is outside.

You flush the toilet to keep up appearances, washing your hands and stubbornly not looking in the mirror.

"They should be finishing up," She tells you and you glower.

"For now."

They're not finished up in the slightest and you slump in your seat.

There's no music to distract you from their raised voices, tension and anger building between them.

"And what about her training?! You'd take her away from all that? To what? Gallivant around in Mexico?!"

That's Alexia now, you'd recognise her anger anywhere.

You imagine she's standing now, palms flat on the desk as she gets as close to Jenni as possible. Her lawyer, a straight laced man in a fancy suit and a disinclination to children, probably sits back in his seat, arms spread in a 'how could you tear Alexia away from her child?' pose at the other lawyer.

"Mexico has pools, Alexia! They know how to swim! She can train there!"

That's Jenni.

She's still as angry as earlier, bubbling and boiling inside of her. She's probably standing up too, finger pointing towards Alexia in a brutal jab. Her lawyer pretends he likes kids, pretends to greet you warmly and act like her actually gives a shit about your feelings.

He doesn't and he doesn't even do a good job of pretending.

He's more condescending than anything, talking to you like you're five and don't understand why your guardians are fighting.

"And you'd have her make new friends? Put her in a new swimming club? Her life is here!"

"No, Alexia, your life is here!"

You've never felt more weightless than you were in the pool, just floating around on your back as the water laps at your skin.

You're the fastest swimmer in the region for your age group. Especially in long distance.

Your coaches say you have the stamina.

You think it's because you want to be in the water for as long as possible.

It comes easy to you, mindless, repetitive.

You like to do things you're good at.

The door swings open, slamming against the wall and you sigh.

The yelling has stopped.

Neither Alexia nor Jenni want to make a scene in public.

The meeting room is a free-for-all but outside they can pretend to be civil. Everyone will pretend they didn't hear them at each other's throats a few moments ago.

You stand, plugging in your earphones even though your phone is dead.

You've found that neither of them want to talk to you if you've got your earphones in.

"Say goodbye to your mother, y/n," Alexia says, already strolling over to wait for you by the door.

Your eyes linger on her before they flick to Jenni.

You shove your hands into your pocket and mutter," Bye."

She's still looking at Alexia too, eyes narrowed in anger before they softens a fraction as she turns to you.

Her hand rests on your shoulder, thumb rubbing ever so slightly.

"I'll see you tomorrow, yeah? You've got that competition."

"Yeah, I do."

"I'll be cheering."

You manage a weak smile.

Alexia and Jenni will be on opposite ends of the room, pretending that the other doesn't exist.

"I love you," Jenni says and you sigh.

"Yeah."

Alexia is waiting by the door, impatiently, foot tapping. When you join her, she starts off again, down the stairs and to the car parked up front.

"Not sitting in the front with me?" She tries to tease as you slip into the seat behind her but you're in no mood," I'll let you choose the music."

You hold up your dead phone, earphones in and her small smile turns into a frown.

"Well, if you're sure..."

"I'm sure."

"So..." Alexia drums her fingers on the steering wheel," That competition tomorrow...You excited?"

You stare out the window. "I guess."

You're in no mood to talk, clearly, so Alexia settles on looking back at you through the rear view mirror periodically.

"Don't worry," She tells you," This will all get sorted out soon."

You wish it hadn't happened in the first place.

You with you had never met them.

[tigergirltail]

TIGER HRT CHAPTER 6 - MONTH 6 - THE CAGED BIRD

CONTENT WARNING - This chapter contains mentions of medical injections, bigotry, child abuse, self-harm, and attempted suicide. Reader beware.

FIRST - PREV - NEXT

I had my six-month check-up with Dr. Erian, an online appointment just like last time. No particular medical issues this time around, bloodwork checks out, genetic reconfiguration is stable. We can't do a thorough physical exam over the internet, but according to him, I am "the very picture of health, by the standards of your species". I'm a bit curious what standards those are, given that I have yet to hear about any other tiger therians. Hopefully there ARE standards, and he's not just giving me empty reassurance.

We also spent some time going over dietary concerns - am I getting enough meat, am I reducing my fruit and grain intake appropriately, that sort of thing. I assured him that I'm eating real meat with every meal, just like the booklet said to, I've been limiting fruits and vegetables, and I don't even have an appetite for anything grain-based. I'll probably miss what fresh bread used to be like, but I just can't bring myself to want it anymore. Apparently not every therian is following the diet they're supposed to, but the doctor didn't have any concerns about me, "assuming your answers are honest, Miss Alexis". What, does he think I'm about to lie to the one person who knows how species transition works?

At one point during the discussion I thought I heard him mutter something about a "foolish undine", but I must have misheard. Undines are water spirits or elementals or something - a fictional creature. Then again, so are dragons and lamias, but the first well-known humanity remover was a dragon-girl, and I've been hanging out and playing online games with a lamia. At this point you could tell me there's someone out there transitioning to Sonic the Hedgehog, and I might actually believe you.

I've hit the point of full fur coverage, so no more awkward bald patches! Unfortunately, this does mean I need to start taking my estrogen in a form other than skin patches, because there's nowhere left to stick them. After a lot of agonizing over the pros and cons of potential liver damage from pills versus facing down my needle phobia, I opted to ask my endocrinologist to train me on injectable estrogen. She made a somewhat tone-deaf joke about not being trained in veterinary medicine, but she was otherwise very patient and reassuring, so I let it slide.

I do want to state for the record that I am a big scary tiger who's not afraid of anything and I only cried a little bit the first time I injected myself.

My ears are definitely becoming much more sensitive - I keep hearing really annoying high-pitch noises when I'm around heavy machinery, and that happens a lot more often than you might think. My office at work is right next to an elevator, and whenever someone uses it, the motor lets out this gods-awful whine and I have to plug my ears until it stops moving again. My local grocery also has a few freezer units that give off a similar sound, constantly, and I've had to start wearing earplugs to go on food runs.

As for visual changes, I can see in the dark reasonably well, but I've also started getting headaches and discomfort when I squint or try too hard to focus on something. I guess I should probably just… try to not do that. I have spent a significant portion of my life staring at a screen, so my eyes probably aren't in the best shape overall.

Now that my physical changes are pretty much done, most people just assume I'm wearing a very intricate costume - at least, until they get close. No costume has mouth movements or facial expressions this realistic, and believe me, our top furry scientists and engineers have tried.

At one point there's a conversation on the humanity removal chat server about the political climates in our respective areas towards therians. Obviously, a lot of the right-wing talking-head shows have been shitting themselves inside-out about the idea of people giving up their humanity, especially the ones with a more religious bent. "How dare these freaks forsake God's holy image", "Humanity is a divine blessing and must be cherished", "We call on the one true God to smite these worshippers of the Beast", and so on like that. Excuse you, but I've never worshipped your discriminatory god and I'm not beholden to their 'holy image'. My goddess is one of beauty, love, and artistic expression, and the entire reason I'm changing myself in the first place is as an expression of self-love.

Most of us agree, though, that the absolute worst of the 24-hour news cycle doesn't have anything to do with how regular everyday people see us. In fact, we're rare enough still that a decent proportion of people don't believe we exist - they think that tabloids made us up to sell more copies. I don't know if that's better in terms of acceptance, but I'll take it over a torch-and-pitchfork mob running me out of town.

The conversation shifts to us sharing our locations, those of us who are comfortable doing so at least. We generally keep it vague, but most of us are at least alright with saying which country we live in. I narrow it down to a province for myself, mainly because my province alone is larger than some countries, but also because once we start to get noticed by the media and the world, there'll probably be no stopping our locations becoming known.

It's also going to get interesting if anyone starts asking how most of us are going to the same medical provider when he requires that consultations be done in person, or why the location he operates out of - Hyper City - doesn't appear on any map. Truthfully, I'm still trying to wrap my head around it myself.

The next day, I get a private message from the girl with the corvid avatar:

"Hey I saw your post when everybody was talking about where they are! I live there too!! We should totally meet up sometime ^v^"

…This is a dilemma. Obviously, I'm worried about the optics of a teenager meeting up with a 39-year-old she met on the internet, there's all kinds of ways that could be taken the wrong way, but dammit, I still don't know anyone like me in this part of the world, who knows if I'll ever find anyone else who's local? …I really want to try, but I should at least give her a warning, and a judgement-free out.

"Uhh I get wanting to meet up, but I'm more than 20 years older than you, would your parents be anywhere near cool with that??"

There's a long pause. I see her start and stop typing multiple times. I'm worried I've upset her. Eventually, she sends another message:

"I don't give a fuck what they think"

I'm taken aback by the harshness of the reply, and don't manage to type anything before another series of messages pops up:

"and they don't care what I do anyway so it's whatever" "if anyone asks I'll just say you're my weird aunt" "you have no idea how bad I want to meet someone who GETS IT" "humanity is a curse and I want to be free"

'I want to be free'. Something about that phrase hits somewhere deep, in a source of pain that never fully healed. Freedom from pain, freedom from self-hatred, freedom at any cost, even if it meant my life. I remember how that desire for freedom feels.

The only thing I can think to do next is ask if she's okay. Her response is to ask if I can go on a voice call. I'm not sure if she wants some confirmation that I'm a real person or if she just doesn't want the next part of the conversation preserved in the text log.

"Hey…", I begin cautiously as the voice call starts. "Can you hear me okay?"

There's a suppressed sniffle on the other end. "Yeah… I hear you."

For a moment I entertain the thought of going all 'when I was your age' and explaining that I was always cautioned against talking to strangers on the internet, but it's probably not the time for that. Read the room, Alexis.

She's not saying anything. I'm going to have to start this off, I think. Something harmless, something value-neutral…

"So from your icon, I'm guessing you want crow HRT? Raven HRT, maybe?"

"Crow HRT.", she states simply. "Crows are everywhere here, and I've always loved them, always been jealous of them. They get to go anywhere they want, do anything they want…" She lets out a groaning sigh. "Augh, this is stupid. You probably think I'm stupid for wanting this."

I can't hold back from giving a little bit of a laugh. "Hah! Young lady, one year ago I went to a doctor and told him to his face that I wanted him to turn me into a recessive-gene variant of an endangered species that doesn't even live on this continent, and then I threatened to bite him if he wouldn't do it. Fantasizing about being a crow is just about the normalest thing I can imagine compared to that."

"…You said you'd BITE him?"

I grin, though without a camera set up she can't see it. "Every one of us who seeks out humanity removal therapy is already a little bit inhuman, even if we don't fully know it yet. After all, why would we remove something if we felt emotionally attached to it?"

Another audible sniffle. "Holy fuck, you DO get it…"

"I sure hope I get it, it's not like I can un-grow the fur and the tail."

She gives a laugh, then there's a long pause. "…Does it hurt? Is it scary?"

"Sometimes. My fingers were REALLY sore while my claws were developing, and having your entire facial structure rearrange is no joke. As for scary, well, I sure get stared at a lot more, but I think I scare people a lot more than they scare me."

"Heh, maybe I want to be scary."

I frown a little. "I don't. I just want to be true to myself."

There's an awkward silence. After a while, I decide to bring up something I was curious about:

"So I remember you asking if there was a way to get species HRT without your parents noticing. I'm guessing they're not exactly supportive?"

She lets out an uncomfortable groan. "Mmmngh… They watch a lot of those news shows, you know, the ones that only run angry sensationalist bullcrap? Dad gets furious at the idea of anyone changing themselves, something about the 'holy sanctity of the human body' or whatever. He even thinks tattoos are blasphemy. Mom says it's the most horrific thing she can imagine, she nearly fainted when she caught me watching a stream of this one dragon girl talking about her changes."

"And here you are, wanting to be a bird… I'm sorry, that sounds really rough."

"It… It is." I can hear her voice faltering. "Hearing nothing but how terrible a waste it is, and how awful and horrific they are, and the whole time knowing that I'd give ANYTHING for it to happen to me, I just… I'm sorry, I just…"

"Hey, you don't need to apologize… I'm not going anywhere."

"I just… don't know how much longer I can take it!"

"…Take what?" I'm afraid to ask my next question, but… I just have to. "…What are they doing to you??"

Somewhere deep inside her, the dam just… breaks. She starts sobbing as she tells me about how her parents yell at her over every single mistake, how she gets shoved or hit just for being in the way, how she hurts herself just so the pain gives her something to feel and to focus on, and how she… How she once climbed up to the roof of her building and took a flying leap off. She had every intention to end her own life, but in the moment her feet left the ground and she felt the air under her arms, she experienced a rush of euphoria, for the first time she can remember.

…And a moment later, she broke a leg and several ribs when she hit the ground.

She explains that she spent over a month in hospital, a captive audience for her parents to yell at more, when they even bothered to show up at all. I'm too stunned to even react.

She's spent the years since then chasing that high, climbing trees and jumping off, finding rooftops and hilltops to go stand in the wind, looking up online videos of parachuting and wingsuiting and hang gliding, and when she first heard rumours about medical treatments that can alter one's very species, she started frantically researching. That's how she started finding other therians to reach out to, how she got involved in the group chat.

"Have you… had an appointment with Dr. Erian yet?" I have a feeling I already know the answer - something something, 'letter from a physician, two psychologists, live as your preferred species for at least a year'. The same horseshit I had to listen to.

"No… I tried to get one, but he won't see anyone under 18 without parental consent, and fat chance of ever getting that."

Huh. I hadn't expected that, it feels surprisingly principled for him. Though at the end of the day, it's probably just another liability thing - ol' Teddy Erian covering his own ass as usual.

"I just…" She's started crying again. "I just want to turn into a beautiful black bird and fly away from all this, forever… I just want to live my life on the wind, going wherever I want, never having to see a single human again…"

I can feel my own tears welling up, and that's the moment I make my decision. I'm going to meet up with this girl, and I'm going to find a way to help her. Maybe she doesn't need humanity removal, maybe she just needs to know someone who understands.

We decide on a place and time to meet up. There's a little cafe I like nearby, run by a trio of neurodivergent queer women. It's a public place, and about as safe for weirdos like us as you can get. Corvid-girl tells me she'll be the one with a feathered headband and a crow-skull necklace. I tell her I'll be the one with white fur and a tail. That manages to get a laugh out of her. I choose to take that as a victory.

There's something about the way she laughs that sounds a bit like a crow's call. I wonder whether that's intentional on her part…

A few days later, I'm sitting in the cafe enjoying a hot chocolate and a roast beef sandwich - extra meat, naturally. Dr. Erian said I have to start cutting chocolate out of my diet because cocoa is going to become toxic to me, but… chocolate! I did ask for a lighter mix though, so what I'm drinking is actually mostly just hot milk. Maybe there's a cocoa-free substitute out there I can look into…

I'm snapped out of my thoughts by a squeal of delight emanating from the front door. There's a teenage girl standing there, staring directly at me with a look of amazement on her face. Dark clothes, pale skin, black hair, headband with feathers in it, and hanging from her neck, an amulet in the shape of a bird skull. I smile and wave a paw at her. She practically bounces as she walks up to my table and takes a seat.

"Holy SHIT, you're… And you even have the… Your face looks just like… Can I touch your paw??"

I laugh and hold out my paw. "Haha, sure, just watch out for the claws, they don't stay all the way inside just yet."

"Oh, it's okay, I'm used to sharp things!"

I wince as I think back to our voice chat from the other day. I REALLY hope she doesn't mean what I think she means, but I can't help noticing she's wearing long sleeves, even though the weather has been getting warmer.

She turns my paw over and squeals. "OHMYGOD you even have the BEEEEANS!" I can't resist smiling as she starts poking and prodding at my pawpads. "You look SO!! AMAZING!!"

Corvid-girl starts frantically complimenting all my animalistic features - "Your stripes are so pretty!" "I love your tail!" "Ohh, your fangs, they're so COOL!!" - and I start uncontrollably blushing. I never would have thought species affirmation would feel this euphoric… Naturally, being a teenager, she takes this as an excuse to push even harder, and I start covering my face with my paws, thoroughly embarrassed.

"You look just like the tigers they have on stage for those shows in Vegas!"

"H-hey, that's actually not okay…"

"You know, I bet you'd look good up on a stage too! Everyone would love to see you!!"

Instinctually, I let out a growl, louder than I actually want to. It has the intended effect, in that she stops dead and stares at me, but so do a few other cafe patrons. Oh gods, here comes the embarrassment again… "H-hey, look, it's just…"

"Sorry." She's gone completely deadpan, and stiff as a board.

I close my eyes tightly. Gods, why did I DO that?? First the waitress at that seafood place, and now an actual CHILD. I REALLY need to start getting a handle on these predator instincts. When I open my eyes again, she's still standing there, and she looks like she's on the verge of a panic attack.

I need to calm her down, need to bring her back. "No… I'M sorry. I shouldn't have done that, I just… The animals they use for those stage shows get abused all the time, and it's kind of a sore spot for me."

"…Really?"

Okay, she's talking, she's distracted, maybe I can still salvage this. "Yeah… Every species has baggage, it's one of the shitty parts of being therian, and tigers, white tigers especially, they're treated like show pieces, or worse."

"…Well shit, I knew they're endangered, but… fuck."

"Yeah, it's a whole thing, I try not to -"

Our conversation is interrupted by one of the staff tapping corvid-girl on the shoulder and asking to talk privately. She reluctantly agrees to go to the back of the store and talk. At first I think maybe she's being chastised for being a disturbance, but the barista who pulled her away is giving me some very pointed looks. Worried looks, I might even say.

If I angle my ears just right, I can almost hear them through the noise of the rest of the cafe.

"…other patrons were concerned… …young lady so close to a dangerous creature…"

I wonder if the barista notices the indignant look that crosses my face when they describe me as a 'creature'.

Corvid-girl lets out that bird-like laugh of hers. Her voice is a lot more distinct and easier to pick out:

"It's just my aunt! She's not a 'creature', she just takes meds to look like that!"

The barista doesn't protest as corvid-girl returns to our table, but they're still giving me a very 'You'd better not try anything' kind of look.

Corvid-girl sits down, seemingly a little more grounded, a little more sobered. "…I guess I never thought to ask, why a white tiger?"

I lean forward, head in one paw, and give a bit of a shrug. "I relate a lot to them."

"To… being treated like a show piece, or whatever you said?"

"…Yeah. When I was little, they called me 'gifted' and put me in a separate school. I remember being excited about it, but it turns out it just meant getting more homework."

"…Ew."

I smile a little bit. "That's what I thought too! They wanted me to be some brilliant prodigy, a genius in the making, but the reality is I was just more observant and better at math than most people, that's all. I actually had to take an extra year of school because I was so bad at it."

"EWW!!"

"I KNOW, RIGHT?? But, then I went to college and graduated at the top of my class, so the joke's on them in the end."

"I wasn't even planning on staying around long enough for college…" She still has a bit of a depressed air about her, but she's not going into a panic. Maybe I'm better with kids than I thought.

"Yeah, I remember, you were going to turn into a beautiful crow and fly away forever." I try to give her a reassuring look. "But hey, the human world isn't ALL bad."

"Says the woman who's turning herself into a wild animal."

I snort quietly as I hold back a laugh. "Okay, fair, but wild animals don't get the internet, or nice little cafes where weirdos like us can just sit and talk."

"Hah, yeah… Weirdos like us." She gives a smile. An actual, genuine smile. Suddenly all the awkwardness is worth it, to see someone so deeply unhappy smile. "That reminds me, I saw on the server you're into witchcraft, can you… teach me?"

Somehow I feel like I should have expected this. The goth-looking crow girl is into witchcraft, big surprise. "I… guess? Maybe? I'm not like an expert or anything, I've just read a few books and cast a few spells is all."

"Ooh, what kind of spells??" And now she's back to her enthusiastic self.

"Just some protective charms on people who needed them, a few card readings with a tarot deck, nothing much really…"

"Does it really work??"

"I mean, the people I cast those charms on ended up safe in the end, but who knows if what I did made a difference? Some of the card readings were scary-accurate though, I think I might have a talent for divination."

She laughs. "Gonna have to get you to read my future sometime."

We end up spending the next hour or so making small talk, getting to know each other, talking about the ins and outs of humanity removal, complaining about Dr. Erian, until…

"Hey, I gotta go catch the bus back home, but… this was nice." She gives a bit of a smirk. "Cool to meet another weirdo."

Before she leaves, I ask her name - I still don't know it, I've been internally calling her 'corvid-girl' this entire time.

She gives me a disgusted grimace. "Ugh, it's 'Margaret'. I'm named for my great-grandmother, it's SUCH an old-lady name."

"Margaret, like Maggie, as in magpie?" I smile a little. "Those are corvids too, you know."

Her expression softens a little. "��Never thought of that. Still don't like it, though…"

"Well, is there a name you'd like better? I can start calling you that if you like."

She freezes. Somewhere in her eyes I can see her mind working to process what I've just said. "…Nobody ever asked me that before. I'll… think about it." She turns to leave.

"Wait, hold on a sec."

"WHAT!?" She outright glares at me, then seems to soften. "Sorry, it's… never mind."

That… was an EXTREMELY sudden mood shift. Trauma response, maybe? "I… was just going to ask if you wanted a sandwich or something to take home."

"…Didn't bring any money…"

I shake my head a little. "That doesn't answer my question. Would you like me to BUY you a sandwich or something?"

"…Egg salad if they got it I guess…"

I go up to the counter and buy her an egg salad sandwich to go. She looks like she's going to cry when I hand it to her. I… probably shouldn't make a big deal about that, but somewhere deep inside, my heart breaks a little. Does she never have anyone just… offer her food?

I'm beginning to understand why she wants to leave behind the curse of humanity. I chose this path, I wanted to be a tiger, I'm running towards something. Corvid-girl, though? She's running away from something.

I walk her outside, and she starts to walk away, but suddenly stops, and turns back to me. She walks resolutely up to me, then grabs me in a hug.

"Soft…" Her voice is muffled against both my shirt and the fur underneath. "You're very soft…"

Once I get over my surprise at the sudden gesture, I hesitantly put one arm around her shoulders and pat her on the back. She pulls away after a few short moments, and walks away down the sidewalk without another word.

I touch my shirt where her head was leaning, and notice a small wet spot.

---

Time to play "Spot the References!" Intentional references below:

"something about a 'foolish undine'" - welldrawnfish (Fish HRT)

"the first well-known humanity remover was a dragon-girl" - ayviedoesthings (Dragon HRT)

"I've been hanging out and playing online games with a lamia" - ariathelamia (Lamia HRT)

"someone out there transitioning to Sonic the Hedgehog" - sonic-spirit (Sonic HRT)

"watching a stream of this one dragon girl talking about her changes" - Rain, by Jocelyn Samara D. (Dragon HRT)

[the-iceni-bitch]

Every Little Thing

Pairing: Colin Shea x fem!Reader

Words: ~4.3k

Summary: You and Colin are two slutty pea in a pod neighbors, but maybe you could be more?

Warnings: explicit language, explicit sexual content (fingering, f receiving oral sex, unprotected vaginal sex), idiots in love, excessive alcohol consumption, SMUT!!! 18+ ONLY!!!!

A/N: Ugh, I love Colin and I can’t believe it took me so long to write him. Before I get a bunch of notes about it, they’re gonna realize their feelings eventually but it might take a couple fics because they’re both morons, but they’re pretty morons so it’s fine 😉

Check out my masterlist and join my taglist if you want!!!

Divider by @firefly-graphics

Oh god, what the fuck was that noise? Why was your phone ringing at 8 AM on a fucking Sunday?

You picked up the offensive object and growled when you got a look at the caller ID.

“Colin, it’s Sunday morning, this had better be really good. I didn’t get home until 4 AM.”

“She won’t fucking leave.” He hissed over the line. “She wants to go out for waffles.”

“I fail to see how this is my problem.” You grumbled, rolling over onto your back and flinging your arm over your eyes. “Just ditch her at the fucking waffle place.”

“C’mon, Y/N, that’s like a second date. What about our deal?” That fucking deal, he definitely benefitted more from it than you did.

“You’re an asshole.” You mumbled, sitting up with an exhausted groan. “Gimme 5 minutes.”

“You’re the best!” You could hear the fucking grin in his voice and rolled your eyes at him.

“Yeah, I fucking know.” You didn’t wait for him to confirm before you hung up on him, stretching your whole body as you moved to put on some clothes.

It only took you a few minutes to pull on some old jeans and a sweatshirt and then you were stomping across the hall to Colin’s apartment, determined to make this as uncomfortable as possible for him. 

“Colin Shea!” You pounded on the door viciously. “This is your wife! I found your little love nest! What hooker do you have in there now?”

You couldn’t help but grin to yourself as you heard a commotion from inside, someone was cursing up a storm and you were pretty sure you heard a couple of slaps.

“I can hear you in there.” You tried to make it sound like you were on the verge of tears. “What about Colin Junior? I’m not raising that baby on my own, you bastard!”

The door slammed open and a very angry looking woman stormed out, shooting a glare over her shoulder and calling Colin a motherfucker as she scurried down the stairs. He came rushing after her with a frustrated look on his face, rubbing the side of his jaw and scowling when he got a look at the shit eating grin on your face.

“My wife?” He asked incredulously, grabbing his hoodie and pulling it over his naked torso as you just continued laughing at him. “That was kinda mean.”

“8 AM on a Sunday, Shea.” You booped his nose with your finger and winked at him before turning to head back to your place. “You wake me up before 10 AM on a weekend and you take what you can get. I’m going back to bed.”

“Wait, Y/N, don’t you wanna have breakfast or something?” He jogged after you, ignoring the glower you shot him as you opened your door. “I’ll make you my famous eggs.”

“Did you not hear me when I said I got in at 4 AM?” You frowned at him when he kept you from closing your front door. “Colin, quit being so clingy. If I wanted to have breakfast with some annoying dude I would’ve actually brought that lawyer from last night home.”

“A lawyer, huh?” He was giving you one of those stupid looks that he typically reserved for girls he was trying to bang but that he definitely knew didn’t work on you. “And that didn’t even do it for you.”

“I mean, I still rode that beard for a good hour, but he was super depressing.” You kept knocking your door against his foot with an annoyed air. “Which is why I need to sleep, so get out of my fucking doorway.”

“Fine, we’re hanging out later though!” He called as you slammed the door in his face.

You just ripped off your clothes and crawled back into bed, burying your face in your pillows and cursing the sun as you did your best to fall back asleep.

It must have happened at some point, because you woke up six hours later with a mouth full of cotton and absolutely drenched in sweat. Why was it so fucking hot?

The pillow case tried to come with your face when you rolled out of the bed and you threw it away from you with a huff as you padded to inspect your air conditioner. 

It wasn’t on. You knelt in front of it and whined as you tried flicking it off and on and nothing happened. This could not be happening, not with summer just about to start. It was supposed to be in the 90s today. No matter what you tried, it didn’t turn on. Granted, all you tried was unplugging it and plugging it back in, but that always worked with your computer.

The call to the repair company was no luck, they were closed for the weekend. This was going to suck, you fucking hated being hot. You moved to your kitchen to try to find some way to cool off after opening every damn window in your place to hopefully get some kind of air circulation going.

That’s when you spotted it. 

The frozen margarita machine you had bought on an absinthe fueled online shopping spree and never gotten around to returning. It was like a little miracle right there in your kitchen, designed to help you cool off and get drunk so you could forget about how fucking hot it was while you did the week’s worth of chores you had been procrastinating.

You hummed happily when that first gulp of frozen tequila goodness slid down your throat, and maybe you shouldn’t have chugged the whole thing but who fucking cared, it was hot. Time flew by as you downed those things like it was your fucking job, scrubbing your pots and pans and singing little songs to yourself.

Music started drifting through your open windows but you barely registered it even as you started singing along because it was Queen and how could you not.

It was the third time you had filled that margarita machine and you were feeling fantastic, dancing around your kitchen as you continued cleaning your dishes. Whoever was playing music was still going strong and you began belting when they started doing Seven Seas of Rhye.

“You are mine, I possess you, I belong to you foreveeeEEER!”

“Hey, Y/N!”

Your badass high note devolved into a shriek and you turned to chuck the cup you were holding at the intruder on the fire escape, cursing when you saw it was Colin. He managed to duck out of the way at the last second with a muttered fuck and you sighed as you watched your mug sail over his shoulder.

“Fuck, Shea, that was my favorite mug!” You pouted, stamping your foot a little and taking another gulp of your margarita. “What the fuck are you doing on my fire escape?”

He gave you a stupid cocky grin as he watched to try to lean on one hand on your counter and almost go down when you missed it at the last second.

“Are you drunk, honey?” Fuck him for calling you honey, that wiley asshole. “We could hear you singing from the roof.”

“I’m just a little buzzed.” You hiccupped. “Who’s we?”

“My band.” He crawled into your apartment and caught you when you tripped over your own feet again, still grinning at you like an idiot. “The ones you were singing along with.”

“That was your band?” You had never realized how blue his eyes were. “You guys sound great!”

“Yeah, you sound pretty good yourself.” He grabbed the cup you were holding and gave it a sniff, coughing a little before he set it on the counter. “Maybe you should come hang out with us instead of drinking what I think is blended jet fuel and ice all by yourself.”

“If I’m gonna hang out with you guys I think I should bring a pitcher of margs.” He was really fucking pretty, had you noticed that before? “Don’t wanna be a bad hostess.”

“Oh, baby, you’re wasted.” He tucked a stray lock of hair behind your ear and you felt your chest flutter a little bit. “No more margs for you. Come sing with us while you sober up. No, no.” He pulled you back when you tried to crawl out the window and started dragging you towards your door. “Ladder doesn’t really seem like a good idea right now, let’s take the stairs.”

You tossed your head back as you laughed, slapping his chest while you leaned heavily on him and let him guide you through the hall and to the stairs to the roof. Those were some firm pecs, you were a little marvelled at the way your palm just bounced right off so you slapped it again.

“Wow.” It was like your hand was moving independently from your brain as you gave him a pretty brazen squeeze. “Your tits are fantastic, Colin.”

“Holy shit, Y/N!” He was laughing hysterically when he shoved the door to the roof open. “Your drunk game is on point sweetie. Guys, this is Y/N, the killer vocals you heard from downstairs. She’s a little tipsy.”

They introduced themselves and you promptly forgot all of their names, your hand trailing down Colin’s chest until you could press it against his abs. This was getting weird, it’s not like you hadn’t seen him naked before. But seeing and touching were apparently two very different things.

“We still doing Queen, boys?” You said, finally tearing your eyes away from Colin after poking him in the bellybutton and grinning when he made a noise like the Pillsbury doughboy. “Cos I’m good with whatever.”

“What about some Journey?” He slung his SG over his shoulder and watched you carefully as you grabbed the mike one of his bandmates was handing you. “You wanna sit down, hon?”

“Don’t call me hon, sweetheart.” You teased, giving him a wink and tapping the mike a couple of times. “I’ll be fine. Journey feels a little basic but ok. Faithfully or Lovin’ Touchin’ Squeezin’?”

That grin he gave you should not have been affecting you like this, maybe you did have too many margaritas. The bassist started playing the opening riff to Lovin’ Touchin’ Squeezin’ and your grin got even wider, your hips moving to the beat as you kept your eyes on Colin. You laughed happily when he joined in with the guitar part, joining in after the piano had done its thing and losing yourself in the music.

He could not take his eyes off of you, he was pretty sure you’d never been this fucking cheerful around him before. Not that you were especially grumpy or anything, or that your typical dry wit didn’t immediately endear you to him. But seeing you with that goofy grin as you sang every fucking Journey song they had in their roster until the sun set was not helping the already prodigious crush he had on you. 

Now the two of you were sitting on the couch he had dragged up there months ago and watching his bandmates pack up their gear, saying goodbye to each of them as they headed down the stairs and left you two to lean against each other and sigh happily. You had your legs flung over his lap as he plucked at his guitar strings lazily, kicking your feet slowly and leaning back on the sofa as you watched him closely and sipped on a bottle of water.

“You ever do any actual performing, honey?” He asked, his fingers running over your calf absentmindedly. “Cos with that voice you could probably line up some gigs.”

“Just karaoke.” You murmured. You were definitely sobering up now, but you were still hyper aware of his hands on your skin and it was giving you some feelings you weren’t totally sure about. “Lemme see that thing.”

“What?” He gave a little huff when you grabbed the neck of his guitar and pulled it into your lap. “Baby, do not tell me you play.”

“I mean, it’s been a little while, but I think I remember a couple chords.” You gave him another grin and his chest started to hurt.

“Jesus, a couple chords?” He laughed to cover the absolutely filthy sound he almost made when you started playing, it was like he had made you on a computer. “Honey, that’s Led Zeppelin.”

“Yeah, but it’s easy Zeppelin.” You teased, turning your body so you could lean against his chest and not missing the low rumble you felt when you tucked your head against his shoulder. “It’s Coda.”

“Uh-huh.” Being this close to you was doing something to him, he suddenly had the overwhelming urge to smell your hair. 

“Why haven’t we slept together, Col?” Fuck it, you might as well do this.

He choked on the water he was drinking, turning his face so he didn’t spit it all over you as you stopped your playing and grinned at him.

“I seem to remember giving it a good try when you moved in.” He managed to get himself under control and turned his face back to you. “But you said you had a rule about not fucking people who live in the same building as you. Something about not shitting where you eat.”

“That’s about sex with coworkers.” You said, scrunching your face up as you tried to remember what your exact justification had been.

“Which is what I told you.” He tried to scoot away from you but you followed after him. “To which you replied, ‘doesn’t matter, not gonna happen’.”

“Huh, that seems awful short-sighted of me.” You scooted closer again and this time he let you. “C’mon, we’ve fucked almost everyone else in this city, we’d have gotten to each other eventually anyways.”

“Jesus, what a romantic sentiment.” He was trying to focus real hard on his softeners, but they weren’t working with you squirming against him like that. “You really want to do this?”

“I mean, I think we’d enjoy it.” You set his guitar aside and turned so your chest was pressed to his. “It’s not like we’re gonna catch feels, or anything. Just gonna see what all the fuss is about.”

“Right.” Maybe this would get his little crush out of his system. “Let’s not do it on the roof, though.”

“God, no. My place?” You stood up and started heading towards the fire escape.

“Yeah, ok.” He watched you climb down to your apartment before sliding down the ladder after you like the damn frat boy he was.

As soon as he climbed in the window you were dragging him towards you, swallowing his tiny cry of surprise when you pulled his mouth to yours. His lips were unbelievably soft against your own, and when he opened up and stroked your tongue with his? 

Fuck.

“Shit, Colin.” You purred when he started trailing his lips down your throat. “I feel like maybe we should’ve done this sooner.”

“Yeah, maybe.” His voice was muffled as his mouth moved to your chest, one hand moving to hook under the neckline of your camisole and pulling on it until your breasts popped out. “Well fuck me. No wonder you know so much about fantastic tits.”

You laughed at that, arching into his face and grinning down at him as he buried his face between your tits and gazed at you through his lashes. Those stupid, long as all fuck lashes that were brushing against your skin as he mouthed at your soft curves. 

“Jesus, fuck.” You wound your fingers through his hair when he dragged his tongue over your nipple, tugging on it softly and guiding him further into your apartment. “God, you really know how to use that mouth of yours, sweetie.”

“Oh, honey, you don’t even know.” He teased, moving his face back to yours and lifting you to wrap your legs around his waist as he started carrying you towards your bedroom.  “You wanna find out, though?”

“You tease all the girls you fuck this much?” You nipped at his lips and grinned when he moaned into your mouth, reaching behind you to open the door to your bedroom. 

“Nah, that’s just for you, baby.” He cooed, giving you a quick peck on the lips before dropping you on the bed with a huff.

Every place his fingers touched sent a jolt of heat through your body straight to your core, your eyes never leaving his as he started kissing and nipping his way down your torso after pulling your cami over your head. He grinned against your thigh when you moaned after he yanked your shorts down your legs, sucking a soft bruise into your flesh before rubbing his face over your clothed core and inhaling deeply.

You throbbed under his lips as he pressed gentle kisses over the fabric that covered your mound, hooking your legs over his shoulders and trying to grind into him when he tugged at your panties with his teeth and let them snap back into place teasingly. His fingers skimmed up your legs until he could hook them under the band of your panties and drag them off you, sighing heavily when he settled back between your thighs and got a good look at you.

“Fuck, you’re so pretty.” He spread you apart with his fingers and flicked his tongue out to run over your slit softly, moaning when he finally tasted you. 

“I bet you say that to all the girls.” You ran your fingers through his hair and beamed at him, rolling your hips against his face when he sucked your pussy lips into his mouth with a low hum.

Colin chuckled into your cunt at that, pressing gentle kisses all over your soft folds before dragging his tongue over you in a heavy stripe. Your body reacted immediately when he reached your clit, your back arching off the bed and your legs curling around his neck as he repeated the same process but at a much slower pace. 

Two of his fingers slid inside you as he wrapped his lips around your clit and you keened, gripping his hair by the roots and tugging hard when he started stretching you open while his lips drove you wild. The rhythm of his suction and release matched the curling of his fingers inside you and made you want to scream, your free hand reaching above your head and digging hard into your pillow as your body tried to rise off the bed when he brought you right to the edge of your peak right away. 

“Col, Colin, oh fuck.” He felt like your thighs were gonna suffocate him but those sounds you were making for him had him past the point of caring about a silly thing like oxygen. “Oh fuck, I’m gonna come.”

Your whole body seized against his face as you let out a gorgeous fluttering moan, soaking his lips and chin in your release as he hummed with satisfaction into your pussy. He sat up when you finally released him, removing his clothes in a rush as he watched you pant underneath him and run your tongue over your lips. God, you were fucking beautiful, he couldn’t believe he’d waited so long to do this.

Before you had a chance to say anything he was hooking your knee over his elbow and thrusting into you, sheathing himself to the hilt in one smooth motion and releasing his breath in a thin hiss when he felt your satiny walls flutter around him. 

“Ah, fuck, you feel amazing.” He ducked his face to catch your lips with his before pulling back with a groan. “Shit, I forgot a condom. Uh, I’m clean, just got tested last week.”

“God, you’re fine sweetie.” You brought a hand up to cup his jaw and ran a thumb over his cheek in a soothing gesture. “Also clean and I have an IUD, so we’re peachy. I am a little mad at you though.”

“Yeah, why?” He wasn’t too worried, you were still grinning at him as he started moving his hips slowly.

“Well, Jesus, fuck, you’re big.” You almost lost your train of thought when he tilted your hips just a bit and his cock hit you deep. “I usually like to reciprocate oral, sweetie. I barely even got a look at what you’re packing down there.”

“You’ve seen it before.” He groaned when you wrapped your free leg around his hips and rolled your body against his.

“Just glances though.” You gripped his biceps and dug your nails in, biting your lip as he continued dragging his length over every inch of you at an agonizing pace. “And never hard.”

“Honey, there’s no way I’m pulling out for you to take a good look so you’re gonna have to make due.” He teased, grinding against your clit and grinning when your eyes fluttered closed.

“Fine.” You huffed, frowning a little before winking at him. “We’re switching then.”

“What?”

You didn’t answer, just giving him a cocky grin and gripping his hips with your thighs. One quick move and he was under you, a small sound of surprise leaving his lips when you were suddenly straddling his hips and grinning down at him.

“Oh yeah, that’s better.” You placed one palm on the center of his chest and curled your fingers through his chest hair as you rose up on your knees before sinking down again nice and slow, loving the low groan you felt reverberate in his chest when you clenched around him. “Good for you, Col?”

“Yes, yeah, s’ good.” He was completely mesmerized by you, his eyes trailing over your body as you arched your back and continued to ride him. 

The way he was reacting to you was making it hard for you to focus on what you were doing, his eyes soft and relaxed on yours and his bottom lip tucked between his teeth as he slowly moved his hips to meet your own. You could’ve lost yourself in those eyes if you really wanted to.

Shit, none of that.

His fingers started trailing up your sides when he fucked up into you suddenly and he lost it at the way your tits bounced for him, sitting up with a whine and nuzzling into your chest before wrapping his lips around your nipple as he started bucking wildly.

“Shit, fuck, Colin.” He was hitting your cervix with each punch of his hips and it was taking all your self control to not pass out from how hard he was railing you, wrapping your legs around him and dragging your lips over his jaw. “Baby, you’re gonna make me come again.”

“Yeah? Good.” He cupped your jaw and brought your face back to his, tugging at your lips with his teeth while he gazed into your eyes. “I wanna watch your face while you come.”

You kept your eyes open and trained on his, worrying his bottom lip with your teeth and resting your forehead against his as you felt a warm coil gathering in the pit of your stomach. It was like you were falling into those lust blown pools as he took you apart, your lips crashing against his as the coil snapped and you gasped his name into his mouth. 

The feeling of your entire body fluttering around him was too much, and he followed you with a low growl. He muttered your name under his breath as he spilled his cum inside you, holding you close to his chest and rubbing his nose against yours.

You fell on top of him when he collapsed back against the bed, the two of you laughing breathlessly as you tangled your limbs and molded your lips together before pulling back and gazing at each other some more. Both of you lost yourselves for just a beat, your chests heaving against each other’s before disconnecting and rolling off the bed in two opposite directions as you did your best to compose yourselves.

“I’d say you definitely earned all those screams I’ve heard coming from your apartment, Shea.” You teased, trying your best to lighten the mood and not dwell on the desire you had to ask him to spend the night. 

“Yeah, well I’ve always thought so.” He was avoiding looking at you as much as possible, searching the room for his clothes and fighting the urge to pull you back into the bed and snuggle with you. “Have you seen my converse?”

“Yeah, here.” You shoved his shoes at him after pulling an oversized tee over your head. “Well, I’ve got work in the morning, so…”

“Right, I’ll, um, I’ll talk to you later, I guess.” He shuffled towards your front door and pulled it open before leaning back to look at you one more time. “You can join us for band practice any time, by the way.”

“That would be great.” That smile you were giving him made him feel like his heart was going to break. “I promise not to be sloppy drunk next time.”

“Aww, drunk Y/N was pretty fun, but ok.” He winked at you then left in a hurry, slamming the door behind him. 

You fell back on your bed and ran your hands over your face in frustration, hating yourself for coming up with this stupid idea because now all you wanted was to have breakfast with that beautiful idiot tomorrow after sleeping on top of his chest.

“Goddamn it.”

Colin grabbed himself a beer when he got back to his apartment and chugged it, sinking into one of his barstools and considering the fact that he was absolutely not over his crush after everything the two of you had just done.

“Shit.”

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[beigehearts]

Multiple requests are fine! Requests are unlimited. 

This is a cool idea so hell yeah

Yandere Adult Trio finding you after a few years after escape CW: physical abuse, mentions of kidnapping, blood, needles

Hisoka

This is rather nice actually. A quiet life in the middle of nowhere where no one questions you. It’s somewhat of a farming community you live in. You work at a farmers market, selling fresh fruits and vegetables to the same people every day. Everyone here recognizes you under your fake identity, and treats you as part of the community. As if you didn’t randomly appear one day. As if you aren’t in hiding. 

It’s been about three years you would say. Three years since you escaped... him. You dyed your hair, wore colored contacts and completely changed your clothing look. You moved countries, learned a new language, and completely dropped your entire identity and life. It was the only way you could escape him. How you escaped him remains a mystery to you too. He was always attentive but- you escaped that last time. Slipped through his fingers. 

Mr. Grady, the oldest farmer in town hobbles over to your stand and smiles with his big loose mouth. He only has a few teeth but you don’t need many when you blend all of your food anyway.

“Oh hello Charlie. How are you today?” He asks with his frail old man voice.

You smile back and begin bagging up the usual for him. “Very good Mr. Grady. How are you?” 

Your conversations are never short but it’s almost become a highlight of your day to hear the old man ramble. “Oh you know. The sheep dog are sick, so I tried rounding those cows up with my cat. He practically got trampled!” He throws his arms up as if it’s unbelievable. You somewhat listen as he continues. “... moral of the story is, cats are unreliable and only have two lives.” 

As you hand the paper bag over the counter the old man stops to think for a moment. “I saw someone new up by the shops today, he was a real character. Quite tall too.” 

You nod and get the change for the money he hands you, “Oh really? Did you talk to him?”

“He wasn’t much interested in me. Though he didn’t seem like a normal traveler. He was much too eccentric for that.” He offers one last toothless smile, “Don’t work too late. It’s time for the foxbears to come out of hibernation soon.” 

Before you can further question him, he hobbles off pretty quickly for an old man. Of course you’re overreacting but someone eccentric and tall randomly coming to town? No it couldn’t be. It’s been over three years since then. And he wouldn’t go this far for you would he? 

After closing up the shop you grab the keys to your car and head for the ‘parking lot’. It’s a field with white lines spray painted on the grass with a single light to illuminate the whole place. You hop into your car and are just glad to finally go home after a long day. It was rather slow but that’s because it was a tuesday. It is very busy on friday-monday. You start your car, and turn on the air, you plug your phone in and relax some into your seat.

You adjust your rear view mirror and scream when you do. You just barely catch the reflection of someone in the back of your car. He’s sitting in the back seat watching you closely. You decide against turning around to face him.

“Hello y/n. Or is it Charlie?” He asks calmly, as if it were a casual conversation.

You clear your throat and try to control your shaking. “What are you doing here Hisoka?” 

He ignores your question completely. “You really know how to choose a nice town. Quiet, friendly, off the grid.”

“I suppose.” Your hands grip on the steering wheel tightens. “How did you find me?”

“Oh, well, it was quite hard really. You did a good job. But once I found the first person who helped you change your identity, it was just a matter of going down the chain.”

You’d rather not think about what happened to those people. “And what are you doing here?” You repeat your question.

“Well there’s only one thing I’m here for of course.” He leans back in the seat, just barely having enough room for his legs. “I’ve come to bring you home.” 

“I don’t want to. It’s nice here.” You state as if you have an option. 

He leans forward this time, and cranes his head around the drivers seat to whisper in your ear, “It’s really not up to you pet.”

Before you can even react, there’s a rope around your neck, and he’s pulling you hard against your seat. You claw at the rope and gasp for air. You try to turn some but the rope burn hurts too much. You manage to get your fingers under the rope around your neck, and throw yourself forward.

His head smacks the back of your seat but your head smacks the wheel, honking the horn. There’s no doubt that you’re bleeding. You throw the rope over your head and jump out of the car, and run. But he’s much faster.

He jumps out of the car and before you know it, he grabs the back of your shirt, pulling you to him. He holds you against himself with his arms, leaving no room for escape. But you have one more trick up your sleeve. You throw your head back as hard you can and headbutt his face. There’s a loud crack that you can only assume is his nose. 

He groans and his nails dig into your skin through your clothes. “You really got feisty while I was away.” His nails begin to pierce your skin, ripping through the cloth of your shirt. “But it’s no matter, it only turns me on more.”

Illumi

To say you’re on the run is an understatement. You’re practically sprinting away even all these years later. You know that if you stop for even a few days that he would find you. You spend no more than three days at a time in the same place. You’ve travelled half of the world by now- and quite honestly it has been somewhat nice. Not just the freedom from the suffocating grasp of your captor Illumi, but being able to see the world. You would never have done this if not for the situation you were in. Maybe things happen for a reason.

It feels like forever since you’ve been travelling. But the reality is that it’s only been two years. Two long years of not stopping. You have a new name and often go days without eating. It’s not easy getting money when you aren’t in the same area for long. 

It was late night when you escaped from him. He never let his guard down so you just had to go for it. He wasn’t expecting you to make a mad dash out of the manor, and hide out in the woods for a few days. Slowly but surely you managed to get out of the mountain prison, leaving through the small door next to the office. The man working at the entrance was sipping tea and reading the newspaper when you left much too busy to pay attention to you. You’re more than sure he was punished for missing you leaving. But sometimes you wonder if he chose to ignore you on purpose, and let you escape. 

It’s a beautiful morning. You slept on a few blankets and a sweatshirt as a pillow on the ground of a cave. It was hard to get any sleep at first but you managed to get used to the back pain. The sun is shining through the canopy, streams of light illuminating the cave. The grass outside of the cave is wet with dew droplets. It’s only slightly humid but the breeze with the warm weather is heavenly. It’s not every day you get good weather like this. 

You sit up and stretch your arms in the air, yawning tiredly. Your usual morning routine was to get a fire started, and put the tiny kettle above it. In your small backpack you have a few essential items. Coffee being one of them. You get out your tin can after jimmying a fire and filling the kettle with water from a nearby stream. You drop some instant coffee grounds in the kettle and bask in the aroma of coffee. 

You pour yourself a cup and put some powdered milk packets and splenda in the cup, stirring it with a stick that looked relatively... clean. But you had a feeling that today was the day. You weren’t sure why this morning you knew he would find you. But you did. Almost on cue, you hear footsteps approach behind you.

You bring the tin cup to your lips, taking a long sip of the hot coffee. 

“So this is where you’ve been.” You don’t even flinch at his words. You knew this was inevitable. 

The coffee burns your tongue. “Yes, I must have stayed here for a day too long. Don’t you agree Illumi?”

“Yes. It was quite stupid.” There’s a silence between the two of you. You continue sitting on the ground with your back facing him. “Are you ready to leave?” He asks as if he’s picking you up from and elementary sleep over. 

“May I finish my coffee first?” 

“I suppose.” Though he doesn’t move from his spot, his gaze staying firm on your back.

Luckily you haven’t spent all this time just running, but training. In self defense to be specific.

Quickly you jump up and turn around, you move your arm to throw the coffee on him in hopes of burning him. He grabs your wrist, but the coffee does land on his forearm. You bring your leg up to kick him in the side but he grabs it right as you make contact. The only hit you actually manage to land is when you throw a punch with your free hand at his throat. If it were anyone else they would be stunned for at least a few seconds. But this wasn’t anyone. He shows no sign of flinching. 

“Are you ready now?” He asks.

You allow your body to relax and he lets go of your limbs. “Go ahead, put a needle in me.”

He doesn’t argue with your point, pressing a needle to your chest and the last thing you hear is “Don’t fight it.”

Chrollo

The very thought that all of these people by his side had no qualms about you being kidnapped makes you sick. All of them had many chances to set you free and yet they stayed loyal to your captor, as if this were normal and okay. So many people witnessing this unhealthy obsession and not even muttering a word about it. Honestly you find it more ridiculous than you do sad. How did he have all these people under his thumb? Was he really just that powerful? 

Wherever he went, you went. One day he had what they called, ‘a mission.” You had caught a cargo train out west and jumped on, as stowaways. It’s not as if anyone checked each boxcar. All of you had fallen asleep in the small space of the boxcar. The train was at full speed, with no sign of stopping anytime soon. Cargo trains were much faster than you anticipated. Once you were sure everyone was asleep, you stood up casually as if you were just stretching. In case someone woke up. Which they did. Nobunaga peeled his eyes open and examined you. But he was too slow, you leaped out of the car before anyone could grab you. You went tumbling through a field after hitting your head very hard against the ground. It wasn’t the perfect escape but it was an escape.

After that you found a nearby farm, and while it was still night you stole a horse from a barn. You rode for many miles, until days later you found a very busy city. Somehow you managed to make a life for yourself, becoming a low grade secretary. 

Today was a slow day, your employer did not have many clients today. You checked in on your boss to see if she needed anything but she waved you away. You decided to play solitaire on the computer, a perfectly valid way to waste time. 

The phone rings and you pick it up while still keeping one hand on the mouse to play solitaire. 

“Hello this is the Seedling Lawyer’s Office. How may I help you?” You stick the phone between your ear and shoulder, playing solitaire. 

There’s a chuckle from the other side of the phone. “So it is you.”

Your blood runs cold, and the only thing that your head is telling you is ‘run’. “I’m not sure who this is, could you please state your name and purpose for calling?” Playing dumb seems like the only decision right now. 

“My darling, there’s no need for the semantics. I’m coming to pick you up right now.” Perfectly on cue, the sliding doors of the building open and you drop the phone, standing up abruptly. 

His eyes show affection and kindness, but there’s a glimmer of... rage. You look around but no one is in the waiting room and you know the cameras are fake for security. This is a cheap layer’s business after all. 

“There’s no need for the semantics Chrollo.” You try to say mockingly but it comes out more as fearful and unsure.

His smile drops and he begins walking towards your desk. “Do you understand the consequences of your actions y/n?” He scoffs kicks the heavy desk to the side as if it weighed nothing. “I missed you of course.” 

“Ah well, maybe I needed a break.” It comes out as a question. 

He corners you against the wall and places a rough hand on your cheek. “Oh darling, oh my sweet darling.” His smile reappears, as sweet as it always has been. “I’m going to kill your entire family.” His hand grips the side of your face roughly and he tilts your head back. 

“You really are something. I would never hurt you, you know.” He places a gentle kiss against your cheek despite his tight grip on the side of your head. “But that doesn’t mean there aren’t consequences for what you’ve done.” 

You swallow the lump in your throat and grab his wrist. “Well you’re hurting me right now.” 

Immediately he drops his hand and sighs. “I would never hurt you intentionally, or if not necessary.” He grabs your throat, holding it so tightly you wonder if you’ll ever be able to talk again. He’s crushing your air ways and vocal cords. You claw at his wrist but its useless. “Disciplining you does not count as hurting you.” He leans forward, and if you could yelp you would.

He bites your cheek, definitely leaving a mark. After drawing blood, he licks it up. Your vision is going dark but you’re simply not strong enough to fight back. “Do you understand darling?”

[adventuresinwonderlust]

Title: Studio Session

Pairing: Idol! Yoongi x reader  

Warnings: smut, fluff, oral (f) receiving, unprotected sex (wrap it up folks)

Rating: 18 and over

Permanent Tag List: @mochilicious-yoongi​ @heyimtavia​

You grip Yoongi’s hand tightly, leaning into his shoulder as the barrage of camera flashes surround you both. You groan at the thought or tomorrow's headline on Dispatch, whining at how once again another date night is ruined by nosey journalists trying to get front page news.  

You both finally make it safely to the car, Yoongi assisting you into the passenger seat, braving the crowd alone to get to the driver's side. He enters the car in a huff, starting the engine and honking on the horn for the crowd to back away. “I suppose they are happy to get run over.” He grumbles, arm gripping the passenger chair as he veers out the back windshield, backing out of his parking spot slowly. You look over at his stoic expression, wanting but deciding not to ask if he’s ok.

You arrive back at the Hybe building and up to Yoongi’s studio. He plops down in his chair, releasing an aggravated sigh, his fingers typing furiously on his cell phone. He places it down on the panel in front of him, swiveling in his chair to face you. “I’m so sorry jagi. Are you ok?” You look up at him and nod. “I’m fine. Why are you sorry?” He trots forward in his seat, gripping your knee, squeezing gently. “Another date night ruined. I know you're thinking it. I'm sorry, I really though I kept everything under wraps. I have no clue how the fans found out, let alone those journalists. You must hate dating me.” He pouts, looking down at his hand around you knee.

Your eyes widen and you rest your hand on his cheek, lifting his face to meet your gaze. “I love you so much. I don't care about fancy dinners at a fancy restaurant. I much prefer it being just the two of us here in your studio or under a bridge. Why don’t you play me something you’ve been working on?” He chuckles, turning to look at his new setup. “No, I don't want to make tonight about work.” “It’s ok Yoongi. I want to hear what you’re working on. Please.” He takes in a deep breath and trots himself back to his equipment. He opens his laptop and scrolls through his latest works. “This one I’ve been working on recently but I’m not really happy with it. I feel like, its missing something.” He complains from behind the hand covering his mouth.

“Well now you have to let me hear it so I can tell you how horrible it is.” You tease, moving to sit beside him on the desk. He laughs freely, his teeth on display as he clicks play. The track soon filling the room, followed by Yoongi rapping free style. “I’m just fooling around. This isn't the finished product.” He explains. You nod. The track ends quickly. “Play it again.” You nod. He plays it again and you listen more intently now. A sly smirk spreads across your face, a dirty thought entering your mind. You remove your foot from your slide, biting down on your bottom lip when you bring it up to rest on Yoongi’s thigh. He looks down at your roaming foot, swallowing hard when you wriggle your toes against his belt. “I know what's missing.” You whisper. “What’s that?” He inquires, grabbing your ankle to move your foot to the other thigh, spreading you wide so he can sneak a peek under your skirt.  

“Me.” You shrug. Yoongi wheels himself forward, “Is that so?” He questions, reaching behind you and pulling out a small black recorder. He places its beside you on the desk, raising his brows attempting to test your resolve. You simply glide your hand over your thick thigh, lifting your skirt to reveal your blush thong to him. He licks his lips, pressing record on the device before sliding towards you. He lifts your other leg from the floor, forcing you to sit completely on the desk, resting your feet on the arms of his studio chair. Before long, he dips his head between your thighs, shoving your panties to the side.  

He licks your slit with the whole of his tongue, parting your lips with his fingers, to reveal your hardened clit. He wraps his pout around your nub, sucking on it, humming happily when you moan out loud. Your legs fall wide, your hand digging into his hair when he rolls his tongue quickly along your sensitive bud. You moan freely, hoping the small recorder is catching every sensual sound that leaves your mouth. You buck into Yoongi’s face, feeling your walls quake with the threat of your impending orgasm. He moans into your cunt, entering you with two fingers and rubbing along your g-spot. You pant wildly, fucking Yoongi’s face now, your orgasm building quickly. “Yoongiiii-ahhhh.” You cry out, white waves of pleasure coursing through your body. You are a panting mess when you come down from your high. Yoongi licking his lips and fingers, stands, frantically undoing his belt. You look over at the recorder, reaching to stop it. Yoongi stops you sliding it over and shaking his head at you.  

He lowers his pants and underwear just enough to free his fully erect cock, moving forward to kiss you hard. You reach down to stroke his length when it stabs into your belly. Yoongi moans into your mouth, grabbing and squeezing your ass before spinning you around. He lifts your skirt, slapping down on the plump flesh of your bum. He grips and spreads your cheeks to reveal your swollen pussy to him, leaning his hips forward until just his tip enters you. “So, pretty. So, tight.” He whispers, pushing his full length into you now. You both groan at the feeling, Yoongi reaching up to tug your shirt down, your full breast spilling out into his large hands. He begins to thrust into to you hard, teasing and tugging at your pert nipple. “Ah, jagi, you always feel so good around my cock. Tou...touch yourself, I need to feel you cum around my cock.”  

You moan at his neediness, reaching down to rub at your swollen clit. You move your hand faster to keep in rhythm with Yoongi’s desperate thrusts. “Yoongi, so close.” You mewl, feeling your cunt become slicker the closer you get to climax. Yoongi releases a long wild groan, the lurid sounds of your copulating surely turning him on. Your body gooses and your head prickles and soon you feel the buildup of your release. “That’s it jagi, cum for me.” He pants, feeling your walls quiver around him. “Yoongi, Yoongi. I'm cumming!” You cry, rubbing your clit quickly and roughly as Yoongi fucks into you wildly. “Jagi, fuck, that’s it, milk my cock. Fuck, I’m cumming.” “Yes, please fill me up.” Yoongi grunts unabashedly into the studio, his head falling back, then dropping onto your back. His thrust soon slow, although he remains inside of you until his cock soften and falls.  

He reaches under the desk for a box of tissue, yanking a few out and cleaning you up. “I love you.” He whispers, kissing your forehead and then your lips. “I love you too Yoongi.” “I promise, I'm going to figure out how to have the perfect date.” You laugh, pulling him close. “Don't worry about that you silly man.”  

A week later, Yoongi asks you to meet him at a local restaurant. You enter surprised to find it bustling. You move through to the back to find Yoongi sitting in the back with his cap low and mask high. “Wow, incognito much?” You giggle, leaning in to tug his mask down and kiss him. “I promised I would figure something out.” “Will you eat with your mask on?” You tease. He laughs, digging into his bag. He pulls out his headphones, plugging them into his phone and handing them to you. “Here listen to this. I fixed the track.” You place the buds into your ear and Yoongi plays the track from the studio a week before, only this time there is an undertone. You squint to hear what it is, since it's so faint you could miss it. “Play it again.” You instruct. He does as he is told, a smirk planted on his face. You concentrate hard, hearing a faint familiar pant just below the bass. Your eyes widen and you look over at Yoongi, who smiles wide. He tugs the bud from your ear. “You were right jagi, it was missing you.” “You’re such a perve! If your fans hear this...” “Don’t worry jagi, its very faint. Only we know what it is, but I have to say I enjoyed it so much. When do you think you can come back and join me for another studio session?” “Never! You have enough on that one recording, I’m sure.” “I could never have enough of you.” He bites his bottom lip, leaning in to kiss at your neck.  

[strangerivy]

The Titan Boy

Summary: After the Scouts gain custody of Eren Yeager and Y/N witness the beating her boyfriend, Levi inflicts on him to do that something buried deep in her heart, breaks through the cracks that she and Levi must overcome to move forward. Warnings: Swearing Pairings: Levi Ackerman x Reader (y/n) Genre: 18+ | Fluff | Angst Word Count: 4.2K Author’s Note: Guys, I actually cried writing this. I hope you guys enjoy, let me know what you think! Also I can do a tag list for any Levi fics I writing if people are interest just ask!

|| Masterlist | AOT Masterlist ||

Year 850 - Summer

It was supposed to be just like any other expedition, reclaim a town that would be lost once you left. You would rechart the area taking note of what had changed and what had been found in the time that area had been abandoned all those years ago.

You stood behind Levi watching around you to make sure no titans came out of nowhere while he did his best to comfort the dying soldier. Petra glanced up at you meeting your gaze, tears slowly falling down her cheeks as she listened to Levi. You quickly looked away tensing for a moment when you saw movement but relaxed seeing it was Erwin. Everything was going okay, until this moment.

Erwin approached with a grim look on his face “Levi!” He shouted; Levi stood up turning to face the commander with a raised brow. Erwin stopped his horse just in front of us. I turned to help Petra up as she patted off the dirt from her pants.

“We’re pulling out,” Erwin announced making both you and Petra snap your heads up to look at him.

“Sir?” Petra questioned.

“What the hell I-” Levi stuck his hand out in front of you silently telling you to stop.

“What do you mean? You damn well know we can push further? My men didn’t die to pave our retreat,” Levi shot a glare up at Erwin at that last part and Erwin gave just as serious a look back, he looked between the three of us before answering.

“There’s a swarm of titans moving north, there bearing down on the city,” You sucked in a breath, and Petra’s eyes widened. Levi grimaced at the news, you were the first to move grappling back through the buildings heading towards where your horses were being watched, Levi shouting after you.

Just as Erwin had predicted, the titans had breached Trost but to your surprise, the hole had been plugged by a boy. A boy that had the ability to transform into a titan.

You couldn’t help but pace as you waited for Levi and Erwin down in the basement talking to the boy that you now knew, was named Eren. A recruit from the 104th cadet corps hadn’t even made it to selection night. He was just a kid. Hange hummed calmly leaned up against the wall Moblit right beside her as you all waited.

“What’s taking them so long,” You grumbled and Hange chuckled

“Careful Y/N, don’t get to worked up,” She warned with a cheeky grin and you rolled your eyes dragging your feet towards her falling back to leaning against the wall with an over-extracted huff. You had questions, questions you knew you could discuss with Hange but, you glanced over at the MP’s guarding the door to the basement, you didn’t want them listening in on your conversation.

The door opened and you all stood up straight as Erwin walked through followed by Levi.

“We’ll discuss the details more later, Levi,” Erwin instructed him before turning giving you a nod before heading off somewhere.

“Y/n,” You turned to look at Levi again and he motioned his head for you to follow. You said goodbye to Hange and Moblit before following Levi back to your temporary quarters while here in the interior. He held the door open for you shutting it once you both were in. You went and sat on the armchair waiting for him to inform you of what was going on.

You tapped your foot impatiently as he made you both some tea handing you yours as he sat down with his cup. You took a quick sip staring him down.

“Stop staring,”

“Levi.”

“Fine,” He set his glass down on the small table in between you both letting out a small sigh, “We are going to petition for the boy to be released into the custody of the Scouts-”

“That’s it?”

“Would you let me finish?” You sealed your lips motioning for him to continue, he shook his head taking another sip of his tea.

“He will most likely be released into my care and will become part of the squad.” You nodded your head at this information expecting it really, “There won’t be any room for error however if something goes wrong, we’ll have to put him down.” Your eyes widened as you sat back in your chair staring at the empty fireplace.

“He’s just a child,” You whispered mostly to yourself not liking the sound of this plan. Levi really expected you to be able to put down a child if it came down to it? Your frown deepened at the thought and you were so lost in your thoughts you didn’t notice Levi get up grabbing your empty cup from your hands.

He leaned down kissing the top of your head gently, “I need to speak with Erwin more, I’ll expect to see you in the courtroom when the time comes y/n”

Saying you were pissed was a slight understatement, shooting Daggers at the man next to you as you walked down the hall with Erwin and Hange. Erwin noticing your glare but not letting up on the conversation with Levi regarding your new Titan shifting recruit. Eren Yeager. Also, a 15-year-old boy that you just witness your boyfriend beat nearly to death with not an ounce of regret.

You didn’t really know why you were so mad, really you didn’t. But it just really really irked you. You let out a frustrated huff turning your attention back to the steps in front of you and Levi snapped his head towards you with a frown and small glare of his own.

“Will you drop the dramatics?” He ordered and being the obedient Scout you were, you didn’t listen scoffing at his words forcing an irritated growl from him stopping in his tracks Hange and Erwin stopping a few paces in front of you watching the scene play out at a safe distance. “Care to explain why the hell your acting like this?” Levi spat eyes narrowed at your back as you were turned away from him arms crossed over your chest.

You quickly snapped your head to look at him cheeks reddening from anger as you took a step closer to him. “You nearly beat him to death Levi!” your voice raised a few octaves and Levi was not a fan of that taking a step closer so you were almost nose to nose, neither of you backing down from the other.

“What the hell did you expect me to do?” He questioned you through gritted teeth “You heard Erwin, it was the right card to play.” You let out another scoff not believeing your ears. You jabbed his chest with your finger knowing what kind of button you were pushing when doing it. Hange making an ‘Ooo’ sound as you did, waiting in anticipation for your next words.

“What,” Jab “The hell,” Jab “kind of card is that, Levi? He’s 15 years old! What if he couldn’t regenerate! What if you beat him to a pulp and he couldn’t recover! You played your card on a damn WHIM!” You shouted the last part hands on your hip as you waited for his explanation. Levi was calm. To calm really at your outburst. Normally by now, he would have pulled you to a private room to have this kind of argument.

“Wow y/n, I never knew you could be so motherly,” Levi and you both froze, eyes widening at each other, cheeks turning bright red at Hange’s statement. You panicked unable to look at Levi now turning to face her and a smirking Erwin.

“Tha-that isn’t wha-t-t th-is is,” You stuttered cheeks growing redder eyes darting around the room,

“Now that you say that Hange, I have noticed that you have been quite more attentive to the children in the city than usual, y/n.” Erwin pointed out the sly smirk never leaving his face as he spoke, and you wanted to punch it right off his face your cheeks feeling as if they were on fire at this point.

“I have to go,” You huffed quickly walking away from them leaving Levi to deal with them, your argument completely forgotten. You march aimlessly down the hall with no destination in mind but to be away from them.

You ended up on a balcony overlooking the interior letting out a heavy sigh leaning back against the wall resting your head against it letting the evening sun warm your skin. You slid down the wall resting your arms on your knees once seated.

You looked up at the sky thinking back on the situation you had just escaped from trying to place why it bothered you so much. Deep down you already knew why, a longing for something more buried deep within you knowing in the world you lived now it would be impossible. You couldn’t justify bringing a child into this dark world no matter how much you craved it.

Levi and you had been together 5 years and the conversation has never come up, never really being an issue till recently when your want to be a mother started breaking through the cracks of your heart. Wet droplets hit the stone beneath you as the tears fell from your cheeks mourning the life you never could have.

Levi searched up and down the halls and rooms of HQ looking for you, growing ever the more frustrated with each empty room. Deciding to head back to your shared room to wait for you. He scolded himself knowing he should have gone after you the minute you ran off but was frozen by both Hange and Erwin’s words. Was that something you wanted? A child? A family, with him?

A scoff left his mouth at himself, of course it was what you wanted. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have reacted in such a way. He wasn’t blind, he knew something was bothering you lately, you thought you hid it well, but he could see it, he would always see. The way you spoke with the few kids that came up to you both when in uniform excitedly asking questions before expeditions. The way your smile would falter just a bit when their parents rounded them up.

His frown deepened with each memory that passed through his mind of all the signs of the secret that you held so close to you. He passed a hall pausing his step when the faint sound of a sniffle caught his interest. He turned taking light steps to you see you sitting on the ground, knees held tightly to you as you silently cried to yourself. His chest tightening at the sight.

“Y/n,” You stiffened at his voice quickly looking up at him with tear-stained cheeks, you looked away quickly wiping them away trying to pretend that he didn’t just walk in on you like this.

“Levi, I didn’t hear you,” You forced yourself to smile as you looked back up at him, his expression blank and unreadable as he stared down at you a hand slowly moving from his side to offer to you. You took it pulling yourself up and when you were almost standing his grip tightened before pulling you end to him arms wrapping around you tightly. You stared in a bit of shock not sure what to do as he held you.

“I’m sorry,” He whispered into your ear. You didn’t need to ask what about already knowing. Sorry for not being able to give you the life you craved. Sorry for this shitty world. You wrapped your arms around him gripping at his jacket as you buried your face into the curve of his neck fresh tears falling.

“Me too.”

You and Levi headed out the next morning with Eren riding silently as you met up with the rest of your squad before heading to your new temporary living situation. The old abandoned former Scouts HQ in between Hermina District and Trost District. Far enough from any towns, just in case the worst-case scenario happened.

Your grip on your reins tightened at the thought but you were quick to push it aside relaxing. Your rode next to Petra behind Oluo and Eren and Levi right behind you. Petra noticed your slight change in demeanor giving a concerned look that you shook your head to let her know it was nothing. Being the only two females in the squad you had a closer bond from the others.

Oluo was going on about how Eren shouldn’t expect a royal treatment from us despite his importance to the Scouts or Humanity in general. In a moment of attempted intimidation from Oluo, his horse hit a rock jerking him forward making him bit his tongue once again sending him screeching in pain sending you and Petra into a fit of silent giggles.

You arrived at the old HQ getting off your horse staring up at the old castle. From years of being vacant, it was overgrown with weeds and no doubt did it have a thick layer of dust all over the inside. You directed your horse towards the stables tying her up so you could clean out a stale for her. Eren walked past you, hood of his new Scouts cloak still up as he looked around at the team.

“Hello,” You greeted he jumped at the sound of your voice not noticing you, he turned to face you

“He-hello,” He greeted tying his horse up as well to get the stall next to yours cleaned out. You finished your stall untying your horse leading her in and start taking off her reins.

“I don’t believe we have formally met yet, my name's y/n,” You greeted with a soft smile, you didn’t want him to think you all were only here to be his killers if it came to it. The way you saw it, he was still a boy. Despite his gift. If that’s what you would call it.

“You’re the second-in-command, right? I- I um saw you next to the Captain at my trial.” He was shy and a bit awkward which you guessed was normal for a teenager. You finished up walking out of the stale, you shook your head going to help him.

“No, that’s Eld’s job. Levi and I have just- we’ve known each other a long time,” You informed him, and he seemed a bit shock at the information. You didn’t blame him, the way you carried yourself, and the way the others respected you it made seem as if you were the second in command, but you turned down the position when Levi offered it saying you didn’t want that kind of responsibility. Even so, the squad still treated you as such knowing about your relationship with the Captain.

“Y/n,” You looked up seeing Levi not too far off from you, he stared at you before looking over at Eren and then back to you “We have some cleaning to do, you too Eren,” You nodded falling after him into the castle.

After a long day of cleaning and organizing and getting rooms ready, you all sat at one of the tables drinking some tea that Levi made in the old dining room. You silently took a sip avoiding Levi’s gaze on you ever so often. You hadn’t really spoken much since he found you crying. Not ready to talk about what never could be, but he waited as patiently as he could.

You set your cup down leaning back in your chair relaxing a bit. You stretched out one of your legs ready for when you could take the straps off.

“It’s safe to assume our orders will stretch into next week but word through the grapevine is we’re gearing up for a big mission a month from now,” Eld informed your ears perking up a curious glance over at Levi through the corner of your eye, “One where a bunch of wet-behind-the-ears graduates are slated to be our main backup.” Levi noticed your stare shooting you a look to tell you that the two of you would speak later about it.

“Well, that can’t be right,” Gunther spoke up now and you turned your attention to him “why do something like that? The cadets have been through enough with the last Titan attack. Why subject them to that kind of danger again?”

“Perhaps the uppers feel that since they have had their exposure that they can handle a mission right out of the gate,” You spoke up attention turning to you as you spoke, “We all know the ones that survived have the skill at least,” You took another sip of tea.

“You have to wonder how many of those snivel-drop runts peed themselves,” You smirked into your cup at Eld’s words knowing full well that he was one of those Cadet’s not long ago.

“Surely this can’t be the case?” Petra turned to Levi in disbelief at the news. Levi sat relaxed in his chair one arm resting against the back of the chair the other on the table.

“Mission planning is my responsibility, but it is Erwin’s. And you can bet the man has obsessed over every angle.” Levi answered and you nodded in agreement. Eld rested his arms on the table his hands held together as he rests his chin on them.

“Well, that’s the truth,” He responded, confirming Levi’s statement “Especially given how unique the situation is. Considering how many people died on the path to taking back Wall Maria, then hope comes in a form no one expected.” Eld shifted his gaze to Eren “One we’re not even really entirely sure on how to deal with,” Eren visibly tensed as the gaze of the whole squad turned to him.

“Eld,” You warned a sudden sense of protectiveness running through you and Levi was quick to notice.

“Y/n,” Levi warned you and sunk back in your chair arms crossed as you stared at the ground.

“Most of us still find it hard to believe,” Eld continued “So, how does it work? This whole changing into a Titan trick. Really?”

“Wish I could tell you, but the fact is my memory’s not clear, guess it’s kind of like being a trance. I do know the trigger seems to be hurting myself in some way. Like biting my hand.” Eren held his hand up staring at it as the others all looked at him wanting more answers than they were going to get out of him.

“You’re not going to get anything out of him. Apart from what the scribblers have laid out in the reports,” Levi grabbed a hold of his cup letting out a hum,” Not that you-know-who won’t have a go at it.” This brought a smile to your face as he spoke about Hange as if saying her name would summon her from thin air. “You’ll be lucky to come out of it alive if that one lays into you, course it's only a matter of time.”

Eren got visibly nervous at Levi’s words looking over at you who tried to suppress the grin on your face. “I’m honestly surprised they aren’t here yet, I expected them hours ago,” You played along with Levi’s game of teasing Eren seeing it as harmless knowing full well Hange would never really put Eren in any true danger if she could help it.

“Who’re you talking about?” Eren asked leaning forward and as if on queue a loud bang hit the door behind you with a loud shout of pain behind it, Petra getting up to remove the wooden bar that kept it locked.

Hange walked in holding her forehead and you couldn’t help the small chuckle that escaped your lips.

“I’m so sorry. Good evening, Team Levi!” She greeted walking into the room, Levi looking both annoyed and unsurprised by her “How is castle life treating you all?”

“You’re too early.” Levi complained and Hange smirked at him walking over to the empty seat across from you.

“Am I? S’pose I couldn’t help myself.” She joked and you smiled over at her

“Well, I say you are late, what took you so long?” You asked finishing off your tea.

“Ah you know, paperwork this and paperwork that,” You nodded knowing the feeling, Eren stared at Hange a bit confused as to why she was here.

“Section commander Hange?” He questioned and Hange turned her attention to him

“Hello Eren,” she greeted “In the event, you haven’t pieced it together yet, it's my job to spearhead the Scout Regiments research efforts. Essentially, I poke and prod our captive Titan specimens. I’d very much like your help.”

“My help? In what way? Like what would I have to do?” Eren questioned obviously not sure on how he could help himself

“Join me, of course!” Hange was getting excited her voice raising a little “On a quest of scientific discovery!”

Eren leaned back getting more nervous as Hange went on “Well, uh… I’m happy to help, except it's not up to me. I’m on strict restriction by order of the higher-ups you see,” Hange smiles looking over at Levi.

“Levi! What's on the docket for him tomorrow?” She asked excitedly looking over at the Captain

“Clearing out all the weeds.” He answered unamused

“Excellent, then! It’s cinched!” Hange leaned down to Eren grabbing a hold of his hand “Young man, tomorrow will be grand.”

“Hange calm down, you're going to scare the poor boy,” You pointed out and Hange nodded relaxing just a bit and Eren shot you a quick look of thanks before turning back Hange.

“Uh, okay but just so I’m clear, what exactly will I be doing?” He asked and Hange hummed letting him know to continue his question “Are you running experiments or something?”

“Idiot. Shut Up,” Oluo whispered head resting on his hand

Hange sighed looking over at Eren overjoyed by his question “Ahh I knew it! You possess a singularly curious mind, don’t you?”

You let out a sigh pushing your way up as did the rest of the squad not wanting to stick around for what was going to be a long night of Hange go over her experiments with Eren.

“Hange,” You started, and she gave a hum to let you know she was listening “Let him get some sleep tonight, yeah?”

“I can’t promise anything, y/n! You know that!” She beamed and you shook your head following Levi out the door that he was waiting for you by. The walk back to your quarters was quiet as you walked next to each other, he opened the door once you arrived and shut it once you were in. You walked over to the bed sitting down on it with a sigh of relief ready to take off your uniform for the night.

You pulled your shoes off, setting them neatly next to the bed, and started to unbuckle your straps when Levi walked over smacking your hands away to do it himself. You looked up at him curiously noticing a very faint blush on his cheeks.

“We need to talk about this, y/n.” He pushed and you let out a heavy sigh starting to pick at your fingers as he gently removed the belts from around you, he tugged at one that signaled for you to stand up and you did, your chest pressing against his as you did from how close he was standing to you. You felt his breath on your cheek but didn’t want to turn your head knowing if you did you would break down again.

“I know your smart, so I know that you are aware that we can’t fulfill that dream of yours, and I- I don’t know if we ever will,” He started, you bit your lip as you tried your best to hold back tears. The last buckle coming undone sent your straps falling to the floor and Levi sighed grabbing your chin gently to turn you to look at him.  “the is one thing though I am willing to do for you, one thing I’ve always intended to do with you,” He walked over to the dresser in the room digging through one of the drawers as you back down on the bed staring at him curiously something grasped in his hand as he turned back to face you.

“I know I am not good at expressing my love for you,” He walked back over kneeling down to your level grabbing a hold of your hand, “and perhaps I waited far longer than I intended to do this but the timing never felt right.” He reached up cupping your cheek leaning in for a kiss and when he parted he opened up his hand to reveal a simple silver band, the one you actually saw a few years prior. You looked up at him with wide eyes recognizing the piece of jewelry and he smirked knowing how confused you were.

“I bought it when you went to get those pastries for lunch,” He admitted to you

“That day was two years ago, you’ve held onto it all this time?” You asked in disbelief, he nodded shyly.

“I- I can’t give you children y/n, not when the world is so fucked up but-but I do want to marry you if that can be enough?” The tears flowed freely down your cheeks as your lips spread into a smile nodding your head. It would be enough, as long as Levi was there. He would always be enough.

[writethelifeyouwant]

Femme Fatale - Ch 2 / 2

Pairing: Alex x Reader Rating: 18+ Tags: Sub!Alex, Domme!Reader, pegging, blow job on a dildo, praise kink, bondage, cock bondage, spreader bar, dirty talk about exhibitionism, degradation Word Count: 3.2k Created for: @spnkinkbingo - Praise Kink | @anyfandomgoesbingo - Blindfolds

A/N: Thank you so much for being my first ever commission Sin! I've had a lot of fun tackling this challenge because I've never written a Domme!reader before but I really appreciate you trusting me with your idea, and I hope I do it justice ❤️

Series Masterlist

Alex has been waiting so patiently. Since he and Y/N had gone to Femme Fatale a few weeks ago, he hasn’t been able to stop thinking about everything he saw there. He hasn’t been able to stop thinking about what he saw Jared doing – or more accurately, what he saw being done to Jared.

Seeing Jared submit so publicly to all those people had been mesmerising; Jensen watching on proudly from the sidelines, offering Jared encouragement and praise when Jared finally couldn’t take it any longer and asked permission to cum. Jared had spurted into Jensen’s hand, held just below him while some tiny thing continued to pound into him from behind, her own domme egging her on the whole time, and then Jared had dutifully licked Jensen’s hand clean for him when he was finished. Alex had thought he was going to cream his shorts just from watching but he’d managed to restrain himself until they got home and Y/N had ridden him until they were both shuddering and sated.

He’s been dreaming about it, waking up hard every morning since that night. And not just semi-chubbed up – achingly, maddeningly, rock-solid and leaking. It’s gotten him into trouble, because he hasn’t been able to resist touching himself when he’s that hard up, and he’s not allowed to do that. Y/N had actually brought home a cock cage the night before for him to sleep in, so he didn’t wind up breaking his rules and ruining her plans for him. She can’t very well give him what he’s been dreaming about for weeks if he’s misbehaving.

Y/N had brought home a few other things last night along with the cock cage – she’d clearly enjoyed her shopping trip a little too much. The object of his fantasies is now sitting in front of him in the centre of their bed, black and threatening against the crisp, pale linens of the rest of the bedroom. The strap-on was a good size. Alex had been nervous that Y/N would be too cautious, too gentle with him, and get something shamefully small, but she hadn’t. Caution has never been her style anyways. He’s already getting ahead of himself imagining what it will be like to take something even bigger.

Alex is wearing the other new addition to their collection, a silicone plug that has been holding him open for the past hour or so while he kneels, waiting, at the foot of the bed. He had settled easily into the familiar position, his ankles and knees spread wide and in line while he sat back lightly on the spreader bar holding his legs apart. Being held open like this, he has to concentrate on staying tight so the plug doesn’t slip out. He knows if it does, he’ll be punished.

Y/N is in the shower, part of her ritual when they plan longer play sessions like this. She leaves Alex to sit and settle into his headspace while she uses the steam and the quiet to find her own. At the sound of the hairdryer, Alex feels his cock try to harden inside its restraint. That sound means Y/N is almost ready for him, and it’s a conditioned response by now, the excited heat he feels creeping under his skin. The sound of the door opening and closing comes a moment later, and Alex’s cock gives another smothered leap. She’s in the room with him now.

The scrape of blunt nails across the short hairs at the nape of his neck makes Alex shake, and the cuffs on his wrists and ankles rattle. He tries to crane his head back to see her but she pulls away, and he knows that means he’s not supposed to look yet.

“Have you been good for me, baby boy?” Y/N’s voice rings sweetly above him, sinking into his veins like a shot of something cool and calm. She’s using Jensen’s nickname for Jared again, the name he’s come to associate with this act. With dildos and harnesses and boys on their knees showing off how good they can be when they’re told what to do – when they’re owned like he and Jared are.

“Yes, Mistress,” Alex answers steadfastly. He has been good, he knows he has. He has been perfect for her.

“Yes, I can see you have been,” and he can hear the smile in Y/N’s voice, even though she still won’t move to where he can see her. He gasps suddenly but manages to choke it off before he gets too loud. Y/N had bent down to tap against his plug, nudging it maddeningly close to his prostate. “Good boy,” Y/N drops a small kiss to his shoulder in recognition of his efforts to keep quiet.

Alex savours the compliment, smiling proudly until a wisp of black trails up his back and over his eyes – his blindfold. He instantly deflates as Y/N secures the tie at the back of his head. He wants to see her. Well really, he wants to see her with a cock jutting out from her hips. He desperately hopes this doesn’t mean he won’t get to do that. A sharp tug on his cock sends Alex’s back rigid again as he tries to hold in the cry of shock at the sudden pain, however short lived.

“If you’re going to mope, we can stop right now,” Y/N speaks gently against his ear. She’s not mean about it, not cruel or teasing, she’s simply informing him.

“No, sorry, I’m sorry,” Alex sits as straight as he can manage, shoulders back, thighs and spine tensed.

“It’s okay, baby boy,” Y/N slips the back of her hand across his cheek and down his chest before pulling away. The creak of the bed springs tell Alex that she’s climbed on, hopefully, he prays as fervently as he can, to retrieve the strap-on she’d left him to contemplate this whole time. There’s moving and rustling and breathing but it’s all muddling together in his ears. He can’t make out where anything is, what anything is. He can only wait.

Something firm brushes against his lips. Y/N is in front of him now, and, he hopes, wearing the harness. The dildo is what’s pressing at his lips, and it is pressing now, not just brushing against them. Y/N wants him to let her in. He does, with relish.

“Good boy,” Y/N intones above him, her hands reaching for his head and combing through his hair. She doesn’t try directing him at first, just lets him explore the toy on his own. The silicone feels odd against his lips, it dries too quickly every time he pulls back so his mouth catches against its veins on each push back in. He isn’t sure how much of it he’s managing to fit into his mouth but he finds his limit fairly quickly, accidentally gagging himself and having to pull off.

“Sorry,” he pants, wishing he could wipe the spit that’s dripping down his chin, but his arms are still tied to the bar behind him. He must look so pathetic right now. His cock gives another twinge in its cage.

“It’s okay baby boy, try again, you can do it.” Y/N reassures him gently and pulls his mouth back to the toy. This time, when he reaches his limit and starts to pull away, Y/N stops him. She grips his hair tightly and holds the back of his head still on her cock. Alex gags again but stays still, and after a moment the intrusion doesn’t feel as bothersome. “Good boy,” Y/N murmurs above him, and Alex’s chest swells with warmth. “Just take a little more for me, baby boy. There we go,” Y/N eases him down just a fraction, and Alex starts to suck to distract his throat from wanting to push the toy out the other way.

“Fuck, you look so good like this baby,” Y/N sighs above him, petting his hair in appreciation. “Can just imagine how jealous all those guys at the club would be, seeing you suck me down so good. They’d all want a turn. It’s a shame to have you waste such a pretty mouth on a cock that can’t even feel it.” Alex moans around the toy and Y/N lets him pull back to suckle at the head. “You tryin’ to make me cum, baby boy?” Y/N laughs as Alex nods. “Such a fucking cumslut, aren’t you? Perfect fucking toy for that club.”

Alex’s mouth is suddenly empty and the air around him grows still and cold. He wants to call out, ask where she’s gone, but he doesn’t dare. Y/N keeps him waiting, testing him to see if he can behave, if he can keep quiet.

He passes.

The restraints holding his wrists to the bar click as Y/N undoes the buckles. She carefully rubs each wrist and moves the arm gently back and forth so she doesn’t shock his joints, before placing each hand palm down on the bed in front of him.

“Stand up, and keep bent over.” Alex pushes up from his knees onto his toes gracefully, in a move reminiscent of a yoga transition, and sinks his head and shoulders to the mattress, back arching and feet still widespread, leaving his ass open and on display. Arousal courses through him from the depth of the submission in this position. “So pretty,” Y/N coos. “I’ll have to bring a camera next time.” Next time. Alex’s blood sings at the promise, and he hasn’t even been fucked yet.

A fingernail trails lightly over the head of his cock through its cage, and he groans, unable to hold it in. That earns him a smack right over the plug sticking out of his exposed hole. He can’t stop the moan that follows that either, and Y/N repeats the motion harder, and harder again.

“C’mon baby, if you’re gonna moan like a little bitch then at least try to sound sexy while you do it,” she sneers behind him. Alex feels his body flame red under the insult. “You just sound like a slut. There’s plenty of those to go around, nothing making you special.” Alex cries out at the next hit and feels a spurt of precome force its way out of his cock. “That’s more like it,” Y/N praises, and he sighs in relief that he got it right.

The next sound Alex hears is the snick of a plastic cap – lube – he clenches just thinking about it. Then the plug in him is being twisted, swirled and thrust in and out of him teasingly. He moans again, now that he has permission, and Y/N pumps the plug in even harder as a reward. His ass doesn’t want to let it go when she pulls it away, oh so slowly, but it’s almost immediately replaced with her finger. It’s much thinner than the plug, and Alex feels his hole fluttering around it wantonly, silently begging for more, which she readily gives.

A second finger follows quickly and easily. The third is tougher, this time it’s a stretch, but the tight pain sends another shot of warmth through his cock and leaks out of the tip onto the bed. Y/N notices.

“You like that, baby boy?” she asks, sugar sweet. Alex nods and whines, and her fingers leave him instantly.

“Yes, Mistress!” he corrects, arching his back to try to find her fingers. She obliges him and pushes them in again.

“You think you’re ready?”

“Yes, Mistress,” he answers properly, fucking himself back into her hand.

“Okay,” she withdraws her fingers and gives his butt a soothing pat. “On the bed, on your back for me, yeah?”

“Yes, Mistress.” Alex turns to sit on the bed and hoists himself back until he can feel their pillows and headboard behind him. He lays down, bending his knees and pulling them back to his chest. The bed dips below him as Y/N climbs on too, crawling between Alex’s legs. Another click, more lube drips down his ass, the cool liquid pooling on the covers as it runs off his ass. He feels the dildo press against his hole and he holds his breath.

The first nudge inside of him is strange. It’s thicker and rounder than anything he’s had back there before. The second little push is uncomfortable, and Alex scrunches his eyes shut, even though, with the blindfold on, it doesn’t make much difference. Y/N’s hands smooth up the backs of his thighs, rubbing gently, soothing the tension that had rocketed through them a moment before. After a few seconds of sympathetic touching Alex manages to relax, and he feels the dildo slip a little further inside of him.

Y/N keeps up soft cooing noises under her breath, making sure Alex knows how good he’s being, what a perfect baby boy he’s being for her. The praise makes him glow, and helps him forget the pain that’s still pulsing dully between his legs.

“I think you deserve a little reward, for being so good,” Y/N whispers when she’s finally pushed the toy all the way in, her hips flush with his.

“Can I see you?” Alex asks desperately. “Wanna look at you Mistress, please.”

“That’s what you want?” Y/N laughs, a little creully. “I was going to take this off,” her fingers skim over his balls and the cock cage keeping him soft and Alex jumps under the touch, “but if you want the blindfold off instead…” Y/N trails off, leaving the choice up to him. Alex falters, caught out by his own eagerness. If Y/N doesn’t take the cage off him now, she might not take it off at all. But on the other hand, the thought of not being able to see her the rest of the night… not being able to watch her fucking him, to see the cock pushing in and out of his body, the same sight he’d been so transfixed by when he was watching it happen to Jared… he needs to see it.

“The blindfold,” Alex whimpers as Y/N continues to tease his cock through the metal rings clamped around it. “Take off the blindfold, please, Mistress.”

“As you wish.”

Alex blinks up at Y/N’s smiling face as his eyes adjust to the light in the room. She looks fucking sexy. She’s in the same lingerine that she’d worn to Femme Fatale that night, the set he’d picked out for her to wear, and the addition of the leather harness at her hips is unfairly attractive. Alex glances down to their hips, takes in the sight of his cock lying limp against his stomach in its little metal prison, and skims further down to catch a glimpse of shiny black poking out from between their bodies. He swallows hard. This was absolutely the right decision.

“Like what you see baby boy?” Y/N taunts, swivelling her hips just a little to pull a groan from him as the dildo rubs against his prostate.

“Fuck yes,” Alex whines, the sound catching high in his throat and pouring out of him raggedly.

“Gonna let me fuck you now?” she asks sweetly, swinging her hips again.

“Fucking please, Mistre– fuck!” Alex shouts as Y/N pulls out and pistons her hips back in harshly. The pain is still there but the sharp strike of the toy inside him sends something like lightning up his spine that drowns out any other feeling his body is trying to conjure.

“Such a dirty mouth,” Y/N pants, beginning to sound out of breath as she fucks his ass relentlessly. “Love that about you, baby. Let me hear you.”

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.” That’s the only word Alex can remember right now. He’s been waiting for this, dreaming about this, for so long and now it’s finally happening he can’t hold himself back. His cock aches and his head goes fuzzy as all the blood in his body tries to drain to his groin to get him hard but the cage keeps him soft and passive. It doesn’t stop him from leaking precum all over his stomach though. It’s dripping down his side, pooling in his belly button, leaving him slick and sticky and fucking humiliated the more he looks at it. Y/N catches where he’s looking and smirks, running her fingers through the offending liquid and bringing it to his lips.

“Look at this fucking mess, such a needy little slut aren’t you?” Alex whimpers and nods, head jerking back as Y/N pushes his hips up so she can get even deeper. “Like my cock in your ass baby boy?” Alex nods again, lost for words and breath. “Can’t wait to see how much more this slutty little hole can take. Maybe it can take two? What do you think about that, me and someone else fucking you open so you’re all loose and used up?”

Y/N’s monologue has Alex gasping for air. He’s always found her voice sexy, and when she paints these pictures for him, how can he not fall straight in and give himself up to the pleasure she’s promising?

“Wanna get you a cock that’s so big I can see it inside you.” Y/N runs her hand over his stomach, through the sticky mess he’s leaking over his happy trail. “Wanna see it right here, punching up inside you, filling you up so good.” Alex groans, pushing up into her hand and pushing his hips back onto her cock. “That’s it baby, fuck yourself for me, good boy.”

Alex is starting to get dizzy. The physical exertion and the immense pleasure and the tinge of pain and lack of hard on to channel everything into has him thrown off, and achingly desperate – obviously just how Y/N wants him. Then, without warning, the pressure on his cock disappears and it fills so rapidly it’s painful and without the chance to even think about asking for permission he’s cumming in long pulses, shooting up his chest and onto his lips and his chin. He thinks he screamed but he can’t be sure and then everything goes orange and red and splotchy, and then white.

Alex blinks awake in the semi-dark, the blue glow of Y/N’s laptop illuminating her baggy t-shirt and messy hair as she sits up in bed reading. It takes him a moment to orient himself, to remember how to move his fingers and toes but he finally manages to drag himself closer to Y/N.

“Hey there, sleepy head,” she grins down at him, and reaches out to stroke his hair off his forehead. “How are you feeling?”

“Completely dead,” Alex breathes. “In a good way,” he adds when he catches the tinge of worry flit across Y/N’s face. “Thank you.”

“You’re very welcome, baby boy,” Y/N leans down and brushes his lips in a soft kiss. “So, you want to do that again?”

“Absolutely,” Alex sighs, snuggling into Y/N’s side and wrapping his arms around her like a teddy bear.

“Good,” Y/N pushes away her laptop and settles into the cuddle, curling up in Alex’s arms like a happy little spoon. “Because I’ve got some ideas.”

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We’re All Mads Here: @vulgar-library @tintentrinkerin @negans-lucille-tblr @fandomfic-galore @petitgateau911 @schaefchenherde @kickingitwithkirk @little-diable @laxe-chester67 @kassyscarlett @austin-winchester67 @flamencodiva

All SPN: @cemini-winchester @akshi8278 @stoneyggirl @deandreamernp @lyarr24 @lovealways-j @slamminmine @all-alone-he-turns-to-stone @eddiesgirl @raidens-realm @delightfullykrispypeach @05supernatural20

[meltwonu]

| 🍒 CH-CH-CHERRY BOMB! 🍒 |     [CHAPTER 𝟙𝟛]

pairing; dom!seungcheol x camgirl!reader

this chapter’s notes; camshow, breeding kink, sir!kink, pet play(kitten), v small amt of anal play, dirty talk!!! HAPPY FRIDAY THE 𝟙𝟛TH! 😗💕 Here we are with ch 13 on Friday the 13th, I didn't even realize it but man my ✨brain✨just planned that out so perfectly LOL 💕 I just wanna apologize for any grammatic/spelling errors in this one and it’s a bit shorter... I tried to proofread this all day but I'm also watching unus annus’s livestream at the same time and my peabrain cannot multitask but I TRIED!! let it be known 😩😭 Anyway, I hope ya’ll have a great weekend, stay hydrated and safe! Enjoy~! 🍒 

chapters; 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11 - 12 - 13 - ?

alphagyu97: oh fuck oh fuck

alphagyu97 has donated $100

hoshi_tiger_xx: oh??? Cute lil kitten ears????

A moan floats past your lips as you sit in Seungcheol’s lap; his cock already snug inside of you before you’d even turned the camera on. “Ah, ye--yeah, we thought we’d, mmh, try--try something n-new…”

Seungcheol smirks although neither you nor the camera catch it as he holds you still. Much like before, he’d started working you up before you got on camera and this time he’d asked you to sink down onto his cock and wait patiently until it was time to begin; neither of you saying a word or moving an inch as he peppered kisses along your shoulders and neck.  “Why don’t you show them your cute ‘lil tail, kitten? It’s getting squished between our bodies...”

universe_WZ: yes yes yes

tangerine_kwan: show us your cute tail princess

therealchan99: thank u for the pics btw i scream abt them every 30 minutes

therealchan99 has donated $50

You reach a shaky hand behind your back for the fluffy material as you show it off to the camera to the best of your ability; making sure to not move it around too much or else you knew you’d cum too soon. “I, ah, it’s--it’s keeping me s-so full…” He makes you answer a few more comments as you sit on his cock; blunt nails digging into the skin of your waist when he feels you trying to get him to move.

artist8hao: so so so pretty baby

kitty_junjun: cute little kitty

kitty_junjun: should come and play sometime ;)

xcaliburDK has donated $75

The way Seungcheol has you in his lap is a little uncomfortable for you and he quickly takes notice of the way you start to squirm more and more with each comment or question you reply to. “Kitten, it looks like you hit your donation minimum already. Should we start?” He coos.

You can only nod in return as you squint your eyes to check the laptop screen to see how you were doing. “Ngh, p-please… I--I’m so f-full I can’t wait any l-longer…” Whining, you clench around his cock and the toy as he chuckles lightly behind you. He’d purposely asked if the two of you could sit further back on the bed and further from the camera and laptop and you’d raised an eyebrow but agreed.

“Sorry, the angle’s not going to be very good for this but you’ll understand why.” Seungcheol comments.

The laptop screen is full of questioning comments and donations that beg Seungcheol to hurry up and fuck you.

His grip on your waist tightens a little before he’s slowly lifting you off of his cock and you let out a disappointed noise when he’s completely pulled out. “Nooo~ I w-want--”

“Ah, ah, I know what you want, kitten. But you need to get on your hands and knees for me. Facing the camera.”

Oooh, that’s why he wanted space.

You nod frantically as you easily get comfortable on your hands and knees in front of the camera and laptop; fluffy tail resting against your spine as the bell on your collar jingles.

alphagyu97: oh god please breed her

angelhan: yes god please

Seungcheol kneels behind you; already easing his cock back into your tight pussy as you mewl straight into the camera. “Our cute little kitten is already squeezing my cock so tight…”

You feel his fingertips on your skin before he’s reaching for the fluffy tail and he gives it a small tug as you whine and whimper in return.

“No, no pl--please, sir, I’ll cum if, ah, you p-play with my--my tail!”

Your eyes clamp shut just as Seungcheol starts to play with the anal plug; tugging on it and moving it slightly in order to get you to squirm a little more before he gives you want you wanted. He smirks at your back as he hears the sound of donations and comments flooding the screen in rapid succession.

“Oh? But they seem to like when I play with you like this.” You clench around Seungcheol and the toy, small cries on your lips when your sensitive body already wants to give in to the pleasure. “So fuckin’ pretty with your cute tail and ears and your pretty ‘lil collar on.”

chwenon: shes gonna cum so fast lol

gentleman_josh95: i kno, u can already tell she wants to

hoshi_tiger_xx has donated $50

xcaliburDK has donated $50

sleepy_wonu: look at her cute fuckin face while she tries to not cum haha

Seungcheol draws his hips back slightly before slowly thrusting into you from behind; fingertips still playing with the tail as he moves it around in tandem with his slow thrusts. “Oh kitten, you’re so fuckin’ wet for me, baby~” You can only moan back in response as you resist the urge to meet his slow movements with your own, much quicker ones.

“Ah, s-sir, please…”

tangerine_kwan: so cute when she's whiningggg

angelhan: dont give into her so easily~ make her work for it ;)

kitty_junjun: aww but shes so cute like this

Your fingertips dig into the bed sheets and you peel your eyes open as you attempt to read off the comments flying across the screen. “Mmh, ‘m so full… and sir won’t s-stop playing, ah, with my--my tail…” You can see Seungcheol’s form behind you on the screen, hips slowly moving as he plays with the tail.

You slowly find yourself moving with him and meeting his thrusts; chasing your pleasure as Seungcheol seemingly takes his time.

“Ngh, s-sir, can I c-cum?”

Seungcheol grins at your back, suddenly picking up the pace as he finally leaves the anal plug alone. “I don’t know, can you? Why don’t you ask them?” You blink your hazy eyes at the camera before flitting towards the comments section of your camshow.

“P-please tell s-sir to, mmh, let m-me cum…” You beg; unintentionally sending the comments section and donations into a flurry of yes’s and no’s.

artist8hao: let her cum but dont let it be the only time

alphagyu97: aww princess dont forget he still needs to breed your cute lil cunt

universe_WZ: she can cum but she still needs to be a good girl and let sir get what he wants

“Mmh, of--of course I, ah, w-want sir to b-breed my pussy… I, hah, want his--his cum i-inside of m-me…” You start working your hips back as you meet Seungcheol’s pace that speeds up at your words and the two of you fall into a rhythm as he works to get you off first. His hands grip your waist as he angles his thrusts to tap your g-spot and you mewl and whine in response; careful to not accidentally call Seungcheol’s name in the midst of the moment.

“Fuh--fuck, sir, ‘m g-gonna cum… please…”

“Cum whenever you want, kitten.”

You nod shakily; head falling forward as you let yourself get lost in the pleasure.

Your eyes flutter shut as various thoughts flood your mind. The main one being how seamlessly Seungcheol fit into your camshows and how much easier it was to film with him than you ever anticipated. The two of you easily forgot that the camera was even rolling most of the time, whether it was live or pre-recorded for your channel and now that he was always with you, it was hard to imagine filming without him.

“Ah, kitten, your cute ‘lil cunt is, ah, sucking me in deeper… You must really want my cum, huh?”

His words bring you out of your thoughts as you bite your lip. “Mmhmm, I w-want sir to c-cum, hah,  inside my p-pussy and b-breed me… wanna be, ngh, filled with your---your cum…”

“Why don’t we cum together then, hmm? Bet you wanna feel my cock throbbing in your cute ‘lil cunt, huh, kitten?”

The warmth blooms inside of you as you nod; cheeks hot as you peer straight into the camera. You readjust slightly, the bell on your collar tinkling as the set of cat ears on your head slip slightly. “Y-yes, sir… Please cum w-with me…”

Seungcheol doubles his pace and you quickly feel one of his hands leaving your body as he wraps his hand around the fluffy tail again. He starts to move it around again, slightly tugging on it as you cry out. “Ah, s-sir!”

chwenon has donated $75

angelhan has donated $50

universe_WZ has donated $100

artist8hao has donated $75

“Fuh--fuck, sir, please! P-please breed me, please, ah, c-cum inside m-my little cunt and--and fill m-me up with your c-cum!”

Tears blur your vision as you’re quickly thrown over the edge and into an orgasm; ears ringing when your entire body goes rigid. Seungcheol finds it harder and harder to thrust into you as your walls flutter around his cock and he soon finds himself cumming with you too; cock throbbing as he unloads all of him cum inside you. “Oh, fuck, kitten…” He moans; eyes rolling to the back of his head as he lets the pleasure wash over himself as well.

The sound of donations and comments drown out your soft cries and Seungcheol’s deep groans and you’re almost positive that you’d made at least a couple thousand off of tonight’s show.

alphagyu97: holy shit look at her face, fuck

kitty_junjun: is she crying?

hoshi_tiger_xx: damn, shes so drunk on cock shes crying

therealchan99: aww poor kitten~

You let out a stuttered breath as your body starts to relax; soft sniffles following right after. “Ngh… sir…”

Seungcheol smiles softly when he hears the way your voice trembles and he’s gentle to slide his cock from inside your cunt; groaning when his cum immediately drips down onto the sheets from how much he’d cum inside you.

“Ah, kitten, what a waste. How am I supposed to breed your ‘lil cunt if you’re letting my cum spill out of you already?”

You lick your lips and despite the tiredness, a new wave of arousal pours over your body at the thought of Seungcheol cumming inside of you a second time. You shake your hips; foggy eyes staring straight into the camera.

“You’re just going to, ah, cum inside me again… and let e-everyone watch...”

The next morning, Seungcheol drives you over to the diner to start your first real day at work and you feel downright nervous once the car stops. You’d gotten so used to camming and being alone that this new foray into normalcy was making you think twice, even just momentarily.

“You gonna be okay?” He turns to you, concern obvious on his face when your eyes meet his. “I can always take you straight home or take you back to the roller rink with me if you d--”

“No! No, I wanna do this... I know we made a lot of money off of the show last night but... But I think this’ll be good for me. Both of us working so we can afford rent ‘n stuff!” 

“We should like a married couple.” Seungcheol jokes. 

Your cheeks burn hot at his comment as you bite your lip. “Ehehe~” 

Seungcheol grins at you, hands still on the steering wheel. “Just let me know if you need anything, okay? I always have my phone on me anyway, Namjoon doesn’t really care.” 

The two of you share a laugh as you slowly reach for the door handle. 

“I will, I promise!” 

“I still do not get why you want to work here.” 

Jun laughs, hands on his hips as he watches you adjust the short dress uniform you’d put on, moments before. 

“It’s just... something to keep me occupied, is all.” Smoothing down your uniform, you do a small spin for Jun who nods back in approval. “And I wanna make friends! Aren’t we friends?” 

Jun’s eyes twinkle with playfulness as he gestures you over to the front of the diner. “Of course we are! Which by the way...” He pauses, looking over the relatively full diner to make sure nobody caught your conversation. “Is... Seungcheol-hyung okay with y’know... You working here and me... Being one of your viewers leaving comments ‘n stuff?” 

A genuine look of concern crosses his features as he waits for you to respond. 

You puff your cheeks as you think, “I think so? I mean he hasn’t...” Memories of Seungcheol saying he’d kick Jun’s ass immediately flood your mind as you laugh nervously. 

“Y-yeah, he didn’t say a word!” 

After two hours, you decide to take your 15 minute break; waving to Jun before you head towards the employee backroom to grab your phone. 

You check your notifications, surprise on your face when you see Seungcheol’s already messaged you a few times. 

cheollie ✨: have a good day!

cheollie ✨: u okay over there, baby?

cheollie ✨: dont feel pressured to answer asap lol 

You laugh under your breath, typing up a response as you take a seat in the break room.

‘It’s been going okay! I’m taking a short break right now tho!’

Shockingly, Seungcheol response only after a few seconds.

cheollie ✨: oh, thats good! I take it no issues?

‘Nope! my feet kinda hurt tho lol’

He asks you a few more questions; one about Jun keeping his distance, to which you shake your head and laugh. 

cheollie ✨: you never showed me your uniform btw 😏

You let out a noise of realization, fingertips already swiping through your phone to get to your photos as you send him one that you’d taken earlier. 

‘How's it look? 🥺’

It goes quiet for a couple minutes and you half-wonder if Seungcheol got in trouble for having his phone out. 

‘Cheol, u ok?’

cheollie ✨: is it bad I'm already thinking about lifting that cute little skirt up 

cheollie ✨: fucking you nice and hard with your panties just pushed to the side

cheollie ✨: fuck, and making you go back to work with your pussy filled with my cum 

A shiver rolls down your spine at his words; gulping as you check the time for how much you had left before you had to get back out onto the floor. 

‘what if I bend over and someone sees my panties all wet n soaked thru with ur cum...’

cheollie ✨: then they’d know you’re mine. 

cheollie ✨: I mean most of your viewers already know that 

cheollie ✨: but I want everyone to know, yknow?

cheollie ✨: god the way I wanna fuck you on the hood of my car

cheollie ✨: your cute little whines while you try to keep quiet 

You let out a shaky, quiet moan; thighs rubbing together when you notice you only have about three more minutes before your break was up. 

‘Cheol... I have to get back to work 😭 how could you get me horny before I have to get back...’ 

You pout your lips at your phone screen as you wait for his response.

cheollie ✨: 😈 

cheollie ✨: I have an idea 

cheollie ✨: for later 

cheollie ✨: I hope you can wear your uniform home 

cheollie ✨: see u in a few hours baby 

[i-see-you-now-you-see-me]

Awaken the World Part 2 (requested by anon) All for Love

Pairing: Wayv Ten (NCT Ten) x Reader

Warnings: Filth, a lot of kissing, masturbation, unprotected sex, a lot of it...

Word count: aprox 6k

*10043567901;1102033149001. PLANET DYVLONY*

The White walk, as they call it on DYVLONY, supposedly should be one of the most beautiful days in a person’s life. That of course depends on if you find someone to spend it together with. Wedding. A wedding ceremony of different kind, that’s what it is.

Today you were supposed to walk the distance hand in hand with Ten, but instead you found yourself knocked out and only later awake in a different place. You know the place though, this is where Detective Ten interrogates his criminals, and right now you had a feeling, you will be tortured the same way.

-You really are something, - a voice spoke but you couldn’t make out a silhouette yet, - I wanted to see you for myself, and I am very disappointed in Ten. His taste is not as I had imagined. Just tell me, how you did it?

You couldn’t speak yet either, so the voice continued.

-Ah, I wish it was me, you know, - she sighed, you understood now, it was a woman, and somehow her voice seemed too familiar. – I too know how to make a man happy, and before you, he was always satisfied. Did he do it to you? Did he tie you up here with these chains while he fucked you raw?

She pointed to the chains coming from the ceiling and laughed, waiting for your reaction.

-Did he cum inside you, or on your face, hun? – she bit her lip, - you know what he loves about woman is the way we beg, how we get on our knees for him. How I would lick the tip and swirl my tongue around his dick, he loved it when I squirted, he would take me on that table after, one dick in my ass while the other worked in my cunt. Ah, remembering it makes me want to sit on his face, and ride his tongue, he ate your pussy, didn’t he? Dirty bitch, you loved it, didn’t you?

You watched her more closely, but still couldn’t place a name to a face. You definitely had not seen her before. She sat on the table, her hands slowly working downward her trousers.

-Ah, Ten-ah, - she slipped her hand in her pants, a moan slipped passed her lips, while she touched herself, closing her eyes, she whispered, - so wet and ready…

Her moans filled the room, the wet squelching noise was there too, she was occupied with her own thoughts, while you tried to make sense out of it all, drifting away many moons ago.

*

-This is different, - Ten spoke behind you, while you ran towards the water at GYPE beach.

-It’s fun, Ten! – you giggled, dragging him along.

-No, - he sighed, - it is not, there is more fun things that I would rather do with you…

You turned around to face him, he had that smile on his face, when he was thinking of something dirty.

-Hey, - you shouted, - I know you, you pervert!

Ten grabbed you by your waist and tickled your sides, while you were down in the sand laughing your head off. His face somehow ended in between your breasts and Ten out of habit did a motor-boat joke, while you playfully smacked him on his head.

-Not here, Ten, we are in public, - you said.

-So what? – he got back at you, - I could take you here, and fuck all the consequences…

In his eyes you could see the truth behind his words. His smile was there again to tease you.

-I might give you something in return for taking me to the beach again, - you said, bartering.

-And what would that be, - he smiled, - remember, it must be so… so good to tempt me enough, yeah?

-Hmm, - you giggled, - how about…

You leaned closer and whispered in his ear.

-I could let you do to me whatever you like.

Ten bit his inner cheek.

-Very tempting, - you saw how his eyes changed, he was a predator, and you were his prey. He devoured you with his eyes, and later he would certainly devour your body, he leaned in to whisper back at you, his hand slightly touching your butt, - how about I play a little…?

You understood the meaning straight away, he fancied trying anal with you, and would slowly move you towards the idea every time you had sex. It started with his fingers playing with your butt, slowly turning into butt plugs, his taste for you was insatiable. Once you even proposed trying strap-on to work on him, which he turned down for “unknown reasons”, and you left it at that, not asking anything else.

-Maybe… - you said and ran towards the water, Ten had confused look on his face but he still chased after you, picking you up, bringing you towards water himself, - nooo, Ten! Not with clothes!!!

His face lit up at your words, and you made a mental note to rephrase all that you say.

-Not like that, Ten, I don’t want our clothing to be soaked, - earning a little pout from him, Ten let you back on your feet.

-Alarm, alarm! – Ten’s phone went off, and he stepped away from you.

-Detective Ten speaking, - on the other side he was greeted with Xiao Dejun from high court.

-Can we speak? – Ten whispered “give me a minute” and walked further away, while you sat down to wait a bit for him.

-Yes, I am listening.

On the other side was heard a sigh, and then a long pause.

-What’s up? – Ten said, - Is it a new case?

Silence.

-You alright over there? – Ten continued talking, - come on, tell me what’s up.  Go on, tell me…

He was really dragging the words out of his friend’s mouth. Xiao on the other end was scrunching up his nose thinking of the best possible way to tell what was on his mind.

-It’s Anna, - he said, - she’s pregnant.

Ten would not believe the words he just heard. His face was dumbfounded, eyebrow arched, lips pursed together.

-I don’t understand, - Ten stated.

-Anna is pregnant with my child…

-What? How? Is it even… like how? – Ten abruptly stopped.

-I know, - Xiao spoke, - it just happened, and I am confused, but we are expecting, and I thought I let you know… I mean, this means you gotta wrap it up, can’t let the ninja in with no gear…

Xiao let in a pause.

-You know, it is ok, she feels fine, we already went to see the doctor, so we are fine, - Ten still couldn’t form a sentence. – it’s a lot to take in, I mean, you are a half-breed, how… uhm, can I ask this?

No answer from Ten’s side of the phone, and Xiao continued.

-Ten? You there? I don’t know, like, I mean, your mom… how did she get pregnant, how did they know?

Ten breathed in, putting his hand against his waist.

-My mom?

-Yeah, you know, with your dad, maybe there is something you have to know… before, like in advance…?

-I have no idea, man, honest… - Ten said, letting the information sink in.

“Was this even possible?” he thought to himself, turning around he saw you by the beach. Your hair was let down your back, the dress you wore reminded him of summertime, he saw children passing by, could you get pregnant?

Ten minutes later you were both in car, driving towards where Ten’s parents live. The trip to the beach was cancelled, but you hoped it was just postponed.

-Ten you look worried, - you said softly, - is everything alright?

He didn’t respond, instead, he jumped out of the car when you stopped at his parents. Like a gentleman he was, he opened the door for you and unbuckled your seat belt, taking you by your hand.

-Hello, wasn’t expecting to see you today? – his father greeted you both by the door.

-Can Y/N get pregnant?

His father was dumbstruck to say the least.

-Excuse me? – his father said.

-Excuse me? – you said the same time as his dad.

His father opened the door wider for you both to walk in.

-Honey, can you come downstairs, we have visitors…

His mom came down the stairs, seeing you and Ten she smiled.

-Do you want me to make anything to eat?

-No, love, come join us, - Ten’s father lead you into living room, where you sat down, you and Ten on one side and his parents on the other.

-Y/N, sweety, how are you doing?

-I am… - you started, - confused…

Ten stared at his father. His mother looked equally confused as you.

-What is going on? I am sure whatever this is, we can talk it through. – she stated.

-Ten it’s not that simple, - Ten’s father spoke.

-But it is possible?

-Me and your mother went through quite a bit to have you, so yes and no, but it is not that simple.

-What is going on, Ten? – his mother asked.

-Magistrate from high court called me, his human partner is pregnant…

You turned to Ten mouthing “what?”. Ten didn’t respond.

-I suppose the younger generation is different, - his father referred turning to you, - since technology seems to be more up to date, I assume, some things have changed in that department. Me and your mother used DYVLONY females’ hormones as well as perfect timing with her periodical cycle.

-So, it is possible?

His father nodded. Ten looked over at you.

-You are getting pregnant, - “I will stuff you full of my sperm”, didn’t leave his mouth, not to disgust his parents, and then he walked off.  

-What? – you looked at his parents, facepalming yourself on the way, standing up and running after Ten, - TEN!!!

*

-Giselle? – you spoke softly.

She stopped straight away and stared at you.

-How do you know my name? – she took her hand out from her panties, - how the fuck do you know my name?

You were silent. She slapped you. Thank god she hit you with her clean hand.

-You called Ten, I remember your voice, it said on the screen, Giselle is calling, - you stated, and another slap reached you.

-I want him back, - Giselle said, - I WANT HIM!

She shouted straight in your face, grabbing your collar.

-But he doesn’t want you, - another slap on your face. It was the truth, though, Ten had made it clear with her, he had mentioned his partners before to you, not their names, but it made sense now.

Who else would kidnap you on your wedding day, right? But… did she know?

-Listen here you dirty whore, - she literally spat the words out, - I will do whatever it takes to ride his cock again, and no cunt of yours will stop me.

You laughed, receiving another slap.

-Something funny?

-Not really, - you said, - I admire your stupidity.

-Who? Me? Ha, ha, - Giselle straightened herself up, then you realized her height. She was tall and good looking for sure, it was clear, even to you. So why did Ten want you? All the insecurities were coming back, seeping through the pores of your skin.

You watched Giselle walk back to the table, wiping her hands in her shirt.

-Ten used to say, he cannot get enough of my nectar, - she smiled, remembering fond memories of nights with him. Sweating on the same table where she sat on now. She took a remote controller, you remembered it from the last time you were here. – tell me, who are you, and I might let you go, but… if I do, you can never come back here, come back to Ten I mean. You will get out of here and never return, right?

If she would understand that you are a different species, what would happen? She would kill you; she could do whatever just to get back at Ten, and if she let’s you go, is leaving Ten what you truly desire?

NO.

You… you loved Ten, with all your heart. Doesn’t matter that you only realized it now.

-Let us play, - Giselle whispered and pressed a button. Sharp stinging feeling reached your back, tears were flowing down your face, you held back a scream. Pain. So much pain.

*

Mornings with Ten was something else. Tangled together in the bed sheets after sweet love making, or even after a quickie before dinner. He would press kisses to your back, holding you against his own body, holding your hand. How he kissed your lips when you were eye to eye. He would let his fingers through your hair.

-I am serious about the baby, Y/N, - he said.

-Ten, listen, your father said it would be complicated thing to do.

-So what? I would want a baby from you, - he said back, caressing your cheek in sweet manner, your eyes travelled elsewhere. – what is it? Tell me, Y/N, come now, what’s up?

You bit your lip.

-Where I come from, but its not that important, - you lowered your voice to whisper, - I am not saying I want that but... I somehow feel like I…

Ten stared at you. He was trying to encourage you to speak to him, he leaned in to kiss you again.

-We should, - you didn’t look him in the eyes, - we should get married… - you finally managed to say.

Ten didn’t say a word. For his family the wedding happened only a few years after Ten was born. He remembers the day as well, even when he was around five years old. It was a simple ceremony, that included walk from chapel to the engaged couples new home (or the same one where they lived), while wearing white clothing, making wows in front of a priest, and signing some papers.

-You want that? – Ten asked.

-I… - you breathed in, - like I said, we don’t have to.

-But I am asking you if you want that.

You nodded. Somehow it made you feel shy. You were to accept Ten as your future husband, father of your children, if you would be blessed, a partner for life.

-Yeah, let’s do that, - Ten finally said.

-You are serious? – you looked at him with that “spark” in your eyes, that Ten had noticed you have when being excited for something. He nodded, leaning in to kiss your lips again. – hmm, are you saying that because you want a baby…? - you teased him.

-I want to fill you up so badly, you have no idea, - he said.

-I am pretty sure I have a clue by now, - you giggled.

-Are you sore? – he asked when getting up.

-Mmmh, - you nodded. All of the sudden you were on your back, with your legs spread opened. -Ten what are you…?

His lips kissed your inner thighs, you were trying not to cringe. Only after Ten licked up a strip between your folds, you breathed in sharply, your body was still sensitive from previous orgasms. Ten licked up everything, your essence with his cum, diving his tongue inside of your walls from time to time, to gather more of whatever he could get.

-I have an obsession, - he spoke softly. You looked up, propping yourself on your elbows. – I don’t know why, but I love seeing how my sperm drips out from you, I don’t know why… it turns me on so much, - with that he dove back in while you moaned out loud. Ten held your hips down to stop you from moving.

-I want your belly swollen with my child, Y/N, - his lips attacked your clit again, circular motion yet again bringing your body pleasurable pain and stinging. One finger eased itself inside you, your pussy clutching around it, while he massaged the spongy spot on your vaginal walls, with more and more motions with his finger, you were getting closer bit by bit. You could almost taste the mind-blowing feeling.

Ten added another finger, and another, now lost in making you come, moving his hands faster, latching on your abused bundle of nerves, sucking, till you swallowed your moans and came with a force so strong, it knocked the air out of your lungs. He thrusted more of his fingers while riding out your orgasm, when you started to open your eyes again, he was looming over you.

-Just like this, - he whispered kissing you. You could taste yourself on his lips. – I am ready to have family with you.

*

-Nnngghghhghhg, - you were holding it in, you needed to hold on, Ten probably was on his way to finding you, you just had to hold on a bit longer, he was a detective after all.

-Scream, bitch, - Giselle laughed over your pained expressions.

At that, the doors on your right opened, Detective Ten running in full S.W.A.T gear on him, gun in his hand. He was accompanied with other officers and a … priest?!

-Drop the remote and stand away from the girl, - Ten announced in a low voice.

-I don’t want to, you know, - Giselle poked her tongue in her cheek, - this bitch needs to die first.

She grabbed a hold of your throat choking you, pushing you more onto the needles in your back. Ten was acting fast, and soon Giselle was knocked down on her belly, her face pressed at the floor. Ten turned around to let his partner tie Giselle up, while he helped you. Once of the chair, you were taken to his car, soon in the hospital, Ten’s father by your side in the emergency room.

-She will be alright, you know, - his police partner said, Ten was pulling on his hair, pushing his fingers through them from nervousness.

After a couple of hours, Ten was greeted by his dad, who came to see him.

-She is ok, Ten, she just needs some rest, she got scared more than she got hurt, she is tough you know, - he leaned in, whispering, - humans tend to be like that…

His father put his hand on Ten’s shoulder, tapping on it lightly, unexpectedly, Ten’s hands reached around his father’s shoulders in a hug. He was crying. His father didn’t say anything, he let his son cry.

From the corner of Ten’s eyes, he spotted the priest. The priest who was supposed to lead the ceremony of White. Ten stepped away from his father, wiping his tears away.

-Sorry, - he apologized, priest came closer.

-I am sorry to disturb, - he smiled and walked closer, - I am sure you are quite shook at this time, but we should arrange another time for your ceremony, if you could take a look. We are busy at this time of year, so, it would be better to know… even approximate date will do.

-Thank you, pastor Kun, yes, let’s re-arrange.

They sat down on the chairs not too far away, Kun passed Ten paperwork, which he signed, sighing.

-About the date, I don’t know, really, - he whispered, - maybe in two weeks?

-Alright, - Kun said smiling, - I will write you down for Thursday in two weeks, if by any chance something changes, let me know, yeah?

Ten nodded, pastor Kun got up and walked away. Ten noticed a red strike on Kun’s neck, not too red to be a fresh scratch, but something else.

“What could that be?”

Later on, the nurses were trying to keep Ten out from your room, long story short- they failed. Ten was by your bed, holding your hand, kissing it, waiting for you to wake up.

-I’m ok, you know, - you whispered, and Ten got up.

-Do you need anything? – he asked, you nodded a “no”.

-Really Ten, I am doing good, the doctor says so, you can go home…

-No, - was his answer, short and simple.

-Give me a kiss? – you asked, and he replied with a simple smooch over your lips. – that’s not a kiss, Ten, - you laughed, encouraging him, pulling him closer to you. Your lips touched, and you deepened the kiss when Ten wanted to pull away.

-I am truly sorry for what she did to you Y/N, - Ten said between the kisses, - I won’t let anyone hurt you ever again.

-I know, - you simply stated, - do not worry that much.

Ten sat back down on the chair. He looked lost.

-That bad huh, - you whispered.

-You don’t know how much I love you, - he stated, - I fucking love you so much, I cannot imagine my life without you in it, - Ten sighed, - I love you, Y/N.

-I love you too, - his lips crashed on yours again, - now go home and get some rest.

-Will do, - you could see the struggle, he didn’t want to leave you, but you mouthed a “good night” and he finally slipped through the door.

*

-I do.

-I do, - a quiet giggle left your lips after saying your wows.

-I pronounce you husband and wife, you can kiss your beloved now, - pastor Kun said, and Ten leaned in to capture your lips in a kiss that really sealed your marriage.

You started your walk then. Hand in hand, while looking at each other from time to time. Ten was smiling, and you were happy, some moments he let go of your hand just to hold you by your waist, or grab on your bottom, biting his lip in the process.

You took his hand in yours again and continued your walk.

DYVLONY people you met, greeted you with smiles on their faces and congratulations were in order, some kids even treated you with candies. Tens’ mom and dad disappeared after a couple of minutes and you walked alone.

Giselle was quiet in a prison cell, she heard that you were meant to marry Ten, her hate was a venom, but she realized the truth, which was indeed what you told her – Ten does not want you. She had to swallow that and move on.

Behind you, a bit further down, Xiao Dejun was walking hand in hand with Anna. Her baby bump was now visible, and Xiao’s hands kept massaging her belly with his other hand, he was wearing a smile that would not fade away.

It felt right at that moment.

Everything was where it should be.

Your walk was ending, a couple more minutes and you would reach your home. Ten squeezed your hand a bit tighter, taking it up to his mouth, kissing your knuckles. Him wearing white was a sin. You were ready to jump the guy once the house was reached.

Ten unlocked the doors, stepping in first, closing the door behind you both, leading you up to your shared bedroom. Once sat down, you made your way to sit on his lap.

-What’s going on now? – Ten asked surprised.

-Hmm, I was thinking, - you started.

-About what?

You were formulating a good answer, before kissing his lips, your hands around his neck.

-Fuck me Ten, - you spoke loudly, ready for everything, - I want your baby.

-What?

-Take me like you wanted to all this time, when you first wanted to impregnate me, - your voice was bold, you were sure of this.

-Fine, but there is no opting out now, do you understand, we are now married, so really you are mine…? – you nodded, Ten was serious, (behind of his serious face was actually a massive dork, who really wanted to fill you up).

-Yes, I am yours, but you are also mine, - you stated and kissed him again.

-Alright, - Ten whispered, - take off all your clothes, there won’t be a slow build up, I will give you all, and you will lie on your back and take it…

-What if I really want to ride you? – you said pouting.

-Nope, not today, - he said, - I have gathered a lot of information on this, so I tend to impregnate you, that’s my aim today, so don’t make me wait.

Somehow it made you hot, the heat creeping up your face. He reached to open the drawer, taking out butt plug and lubricant. You were stripping slowly on purpose and Ten clicked his tongue.

-No, - he said, - no teasing, faster, naked on the bed, legs spread opened.

As much as you would have loved to drag it even more, the staring Ten gave you, made you undress as a secretary – fast and effective. On the bed, you could not open your legs, Ten took off his trousers, looking back at you.

-Legs opened, - he said, when you shied away, he got on the bed, grabbed your legs, dragging you down, till you were on your back, your head on the pillows, his hands on your knees, opening your legs, you couldn’t even say a “whoop” from the unexpected surprise. Without any hesitation, his lips went straight for your core, tongue delving right inside your tight hole. Out of reflex your legs wanted to close, but Ten’s grip stopped you from doing so. He only stopped to lick up your pussy lips, latch on your clitoris, getting you worked up quickly.

He stopped, sitting back on his heels, taking the butt plug, lubricating it.

-Lift yourself up a bit, - he ordered, his two fingers now covered in lube, prodding at your ass hole. When you lifted yourself up, he eased a butt plug inside your ass without any stopping, you choked on a moan, and Ten let you back down. He was watching you, starting from your eyes to your lips, lower to your boobs, as his both hands worked on his cocks.

-You wanna be a good girl? – he offered, you slowly nodded, - touch your nipples for me, massage your breasts, imagine me doing that to you and do it.

To lead him on, you playfully bit your lip, your palms touching your breasts, Ten swallowed, he wanted to eat you whole, your breathing got a bit more rushed, he himself was struggling not to attack you like a man starved.

-You make me crazy, - Ten bit his lip, he was hard now, both dicks ready to enter you, to fuck you into oblivion. Only then you noticed a cock ring and some object you had never seen before.

You watched him place a cock ring on the thickest of his counterparts, and carefully placing a rubbery object (looked like a thinner version of pencil) inside his urethra.

-What is that? – you asked, Ten scrunched up his nose enjoying the feeling.

-It is called a urethral vibrator, I am using it to post pone my ejaculation, because today you are getting what you bargained for… - he leaned in, making space between your legs, kissing your stomach first, then going higher, enjoying how responsive you were to his touch. Attacking your breasts with his lips and hands, your moans led him on even more. Twisting one of your nipples between his fingers earned a yelp from you, as you tried to suppress the feeling of screaming out loud.

-I thought you said there will be no slow build up, - you giggled, a kiss on your lips stopped you from teasing Ten, turning this into serious matter. Kiss was passionate, his tongue exploring your mouth, his lower body rutting against yours. Tens’ hand reached down, aligning his cock with your entrance as he pushed in, you both holding your breaths until he was settled snug inside of you.

-Ahhh, - you moaned, Ten slowly starting up a rhythm, your legs wrapping around his hips. Ten was kissing your neck, moaning in your ear, licking up your chin before entering your mouth with his tongue first. It was filthy, but at this moment, you couldn’t care less.

With Ten by your side, having a child, bringing him/her into this world did not seem like a bad idea, your biological clock was ticking after all, and you loved Ten, the walk of White proved that, not only to you yourself, but to other people living on this planet.

Push after a push, Ten’s cock head repeatedly hit your cervix, with each thrust your body arching from the bed, whimpers leaving your lips. Your hands were roaming his back, your walls clenching down on his dick, sucking him in deeper.

-Ah, I love it when you do that, - Ten moaned out, he changed your position, your legs were now pressed against his shoulders, - cannot let nothing to spill, - he inclined.

This angle allowed him to reach deeper spots within you, that had you crying out like never before, Ten felt his own climax building up, but he intended to make you come first. His hand reached for his other cock, tapping it on your clitoris, then returning back to the rhythmic thrusting, his other counterpart brushing past your clit.

Your core was tightening, it was getting harder for Ten to move, and you climaxed moaning out Ten’s name. your body sending you in a frenzy of aftershocks, core clenching feverously around Ten’s member. His lips found yours as he continued, finally spilling his seed in your body, white, hot fluid filled you up, but Ten didn’t stop, instead he made sure his other cock had enough friction, before he would put it to work.

Your senses were overwhelmed, you nearly missed that Ten’s hand grabbed a hold of yours, gathering the slick from your entrance, to provide his other cock with it generously, then putting your hand around it, fisting his cock, setting in a pleasant movement. His other cock was still providing you with overstimulation inside of you, your moans mixed with Ten’s grunting was all you heard, felt like it even echoed in your head.

-I’m close, - he stated, stopping your hand, he removed the ring and took out the urethral vibrator, swapping over his dicks. The thicker one was now being pushed inside you, your body instinctively moved back, but Ten held you, pushing you back onto him. Your head fell back, your body twisting, your legs were against his shoulders again, and soon Ten was coming, coaxing another orgasm from you, your walls were pulsating, pushing Ten out together with the mixed liquids. Ten quickly grabbed a pillow from behind, putting it under your but, your legs back in the air.

-Cannot waste any, - he said, still catching his breath. He found your lips again. – how do you feel?

-Tired, - you whispered, - you made me very tired, - you laughed.

-Ha, - he laughed back, - this is nothing, we going to do this every day now…

The look on your face dropped.

-Every day?

-Every day, 24/7, 24 hours daily, - he warned kissing you again, - you know what it means now…

-Mmh? – you questioned, he got down to be eye level with your core, seeing how your juices were dripping, he was fast to lick them up, kissing his way up, your stomach, kissing it for a longer time, then going up to your breasts and to your lips again.

-I know you are pregnant…- he said, and you bit your lip. – you have been since before Giselle took you.

You bit the inside of your cheek.

-How did you know? – you asked.

-If it wouldn’t be for you being so tight down there, I would have no clue, but really my father told me when you were in hospital.

-What?

-Yes, so I know, - he whispered.

-Are you happy? – you asked.

Ten nodded and kissed you again.

-But that does not mean I won’t do what I promised, Y/N, twenty-four seven in this bed, - his body crushed yours, your legs wrapping around him, his head a top of your breasts. – thank you.

-For what?

-For giving me all of you…

-All for love Ten, - you whispered, your hand touching his hair in peaceful manner.

-All for love…

[honey-hippie-harper]

Successful Parenting

MY DEAREST @the-wee-woo-rita​ I HEARD IT’S YOUR BIRTHDAY TODAY AFGSHAGASHA

I’m coming back from the death just to give you this, because you asked for it some time ago, and agshjaghsj I’m sorry I couldn’t give you something better, I’m super busy finishing HCTTR :’) But yeah, here is it!<3 I translated it from the start because the original translation was awful and you deserved something better than that x’d Still, I really hope you like it.

Rita, you’re super important to me :’) You have no idea on how much your comments make me happy, and I love you dearly even if I’m mostly dead because school’s been driving me crazy afsghjafgsh but yeah, you’re very kind, and sweet, and I hope you know your existence makes me very happy afghjaysu so, I wish you the best of birthdays! <3

Take care :’) <3

Successful Parenting.

Two days after the event, they start calling it The Day of Triumph. It’s only in that moment that Nova experiences that annoying itch people refer to as “resignation”, and she lays in her side of the bed she shares with Honey, with her arms at her side, limp, staring at the mold that grows in the ceiling of a house Nova can’t identify, which is the same one she was taken to while her eyes were folded. They knew she wouldn’t dare to do it, but they still feared she would try to find her way back to Gatlon to go look for Uncle Ace.

The many –and long- hours she spends laying, she feels nothing. She’s so invested in her own pain, that she doesn’t even notice the moment when Honey doesn’t lay next to her, nor does she curl up in a ball and spends the rest of the night bawling. 

Even when Ingrid comes into the room and violently takes her out of bed, wrapping her up in a blanket, Nova has no idea of what’s happening. 

Her heart is racing aggressively, but she can’t move, not even when the blanket falls into the floor and Ingrid almost stumbles the moment she steps on it. She doesn’t fall, but she does bark a couple of words Nova is sure she’s not allowed to repeat.

And then, among the bumpy ride, she sees them there. 

The air smells weird, and these people are screaming, like they always do. 

Nova spots Honey down on her knees, hugging herself and shouting up to the sky. Leroy Flinn is standing in front of her, and next to them both, there’s his yellow car. 

Winston, nonchalant and chewing on gum, is removing the tube that peeks from the car’s gas tank. 

And Honey is just there, repeating the phrase “Make it stop” like a mantra, shaking her head and screaming as if one of her knees was being amputated. Nova stares at her from Ingrid’s arms, still not knowing what’s happening, until she puts her down with such violence she ends up hiccupping.  

“LET ME GO! I DON’T WANNA BE HERE ANYMORE!”

“Look. That’s fine by me. You can go if you want to. But don’t drag us into it. Some of us want to stay here. You understand?”

“Leroy, where should I put this?”

“SHUT THE FUCK UP, WINSTON!” Scream Honey and Leroy at the same time. For a second, it almost seems like Honey is lucid. 

“Geez.”

That’s when Ingrid intervenes too. 

“You are such a useless prick. Go on, Winston! Bring that thing over here!”

Nova jumps, because her voice sounds louder out of a sudden, and then she starts walking towards Winston, stomping her feet like she is marching, until she’s close enough to take the tube from his hands and start taking it to the trapdoor by the side of the house, which, Nova supposes, leads to the basement. 

For Nova, it’s a scene that’s as surreal as it is bizarre, with Honey knelt down on the ground that way, and all the windows and doors wide open. Then, everyone acting as if that tube thing peeking out of the car and getting into the house was such a big deal. 

After trying to connect the dots for a while, Nova decides she doesn’t understand. 

It’s only then that she hears a very familiar “Bang!” that deafens her for a couple of seconds. 

Frowning and taking her hands to her ears, Nova looks ahead. 

In her hands, Honey holds the gun Leroy always has in his belt, and Nova doesn’t need to be any more clever to know who was she aiming at; it wasn’t Leroy, or Winston, or her, Nova. 

Honey was aiming at herself. 

Leroy throws himself at her, to grab her, while Winston tries to snatch the gun from her hands, and she fights back so much it reminds Nova of a whirlwind. She’s screaming again, and she’s crying a lot, to the point the long lines of mascara are starting to reach her neck. 

She looks so sad and ready to die, that Nova knows she should be feeling some type of sympathy for her.

Yet, she doesn’t. 

She doesn’t, because bullets were the ones to take everything she had away from her, and the mere idea of somebody thinking about ending their life that way repulses her. 

So Nova stares at her with teary eyes while she wishes something would fall on top of her and kill her for real this time, because if she’s dead she will stop crying. 

She says something intelligible yet again (probably a very dumb thing) the moment Winston manages to take the gun out of her hands and, for instance, out of her reach. 

Now that she’s defenseless, Nova gets closer to her. Honey seems reluctant to calm down at first, but when she stares at Nova she recognizes the features papà got from Uncle Ace, and that at the same time Nova got from papà. Then, she goes still. 

Just like that, she becomes quiet, though still breathing like an angry bull and with the tears rolling down her face. 

She looks at Nova like she’s an odd being who just came through a portal from another dimension, and Nova feels her entire body catching fire. 

There’s so, so many ways to release her power on people...

And yet, she chooses the bad way, and she slaps Honey so hard that by the time she collapses into Leroy’s arms, the palm of her hand is itching.

-.-

The ladder trembles, and Nova holds on to it, even when she feels that, on the floor, Leroy has tightened his grip. 

Once settled down, Nova gulps and continues going up. 

“That’s it, sweetie! That internet won’t connect itself!” Screams Honey Harper, in a melodic voice. 

Stars. Nova hoped it would connect itself. 

It’s been a couple of weeks since they’ve moved down to the tunnels, and their condition could be better. However, Nova considers they’ve been managing perfectly well with almost everything, except this...electricity issue. 

And, apparently, these people are very dependent from their electronic devices. 

It would’ve been easier if they had money but, evidently, they don’t have any; and it could’ve been easier, too, if they had access to any of the public services, but it seems to be they don’t have such thing either. Nova doesn’t know much about that, but she remembers her father explaining some of it to her. 

There’s no water or electricity down in the tunnels, nor gas or those type of things. It reminds her of everything she’s been told, about how, before Uncle Ace, Prodigies were treated this way.

The Renegades are gross.

For that reason, and that reason only, Nova agrees to climb up the ladder to steal some power and internet from the fuse box from a restaurant that happens to be close to the tunnels.

It’s not like she had another option whatsoever. Even if she had said no, they would’ve forced her to anyway. She was starting to get used to that. 

Feeling her legs shaking from the effort to keep her balance, she continues going up until she’s face to face with the fuse box. 

“Okay, Nightmare. Can you see anything?” Asks Leroy. 

Nova narrows her eyes and, after analyzing the issue, she concludes: 

“Just a little.” 

Immediately, Honey enhances the flashlight’s illumination and rises it up to the fuse box, to which Nova nods. 

“That’s better.” 

“Great. Now, you should plug in the wire you have in your right hand to the ports at the bottom of the box.”

It doesn’t take much searching for her to find them. There’s a couple of available ports, and the fact she can’t stay here longer, to analyze how do they work, makes her really sad. 

Nevertheless, it doesn’t make her sadder than what comes next. Apparently, they didn’t took the time to research about the restaurant’s owner before sending her up here, but the very moment a wire separates from the box, in a physically impossible way, and whips her face, Nova suspects that must be an electric prodigy work, who was able to alter the fuse box to turn it into a security system that...does this. 

The burning sensation in her face comes immediately, and Nova screeches so loudly she can’t even believe that terrifying sound is coming from her (Because she knows she’s way better than this). 

By instinct, she lets go of the wires and even from the ladder, but before a disaster can happen, Leroy intervenes. 

“Don’t let go of the ladder, just come down here! Quick, Nighmare! Get down here!”

Hiccuping and feeling ridiculous, she obeys, and when she’s –more or less- five steps away from the ground, she feels someone grabbing her by the waist and putting her down. At first, she thinks is Honey, for the smooth way their hands feel, but once the person tightens their hold, their arms brush against hers, and she can’t help but remember how Honey rips every hair that grows in every part of her body except her head. 

Even if she didn’t do that, Nova highly doubted her body hair would be this curly. 

So, carefully, Winston places her on the ground, on a sitting position, and Nova presses her hands against her face, still screaming...though, not much time has to go by before somebody else tries to pull them away, grabbing her by the wrists.

“JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!”

“LEROY, ACE IS GOING TO ANNIHILATE US!”

“Hey, little flea, let us see your face.” 

“IT BURNS! IT BURNS REALLY BAD!”

“WOW, THAT’S SUCH A TRAGEDY! WHERE DID THIS GIRL COMES FROM!? WAS SHE RAISED BY THE RICH?!”

“INGRID, THERE’S NO TIME FOR THAT!”

“JUST...JUST BRING HER WATER! SHE CAN’T CRY AND DRINK WATER AT THE SAME TIME!”

“OF COURSE SHE CAN! AREN’T YOU SEEING HER?!”

“YEAH, BUT SHE WOULD CHOKE!”

“EXACTLY! SHE’S CHOKING ON HER OWN SALIVA! SHE’S DRINKING SOMETHING, CRYING, AND CHOKING BECAUSE SHE’S CRYING WHILE SHE’S DRINKING SOMETHING!”

“NIGHTMARE, LET US SEE YOUR FACE!”

And amongst the chaos, they get her to do it. Nova stares at them with one single eye, for she’s not able to see with the other one. 

They remain in silence, just looking, and Winston runs his finger throught the upper part of her forehead, on a spot she can’t identify. She just knows it hurts a little. 

“We just need to disinfect it. It’s not too bad.”

“Eugh.” Honey frowns in disgust. “Will that big ass browless chunk grow again?” 

Winston tilts his head to the side, and touches Nova’s brow again, carefully. His hands are so cold she even finds them conforting. 

“Yep.” He saids, very casual. “It should grow again in no time. No biggie.”

But it doesn’t.

Nova’s eyebrow gets scarred. 

And that one specific chunk never grows hair.

-.-

“Don’t expect other people to respect you just because you’re young. That’s not how the world works.” 

Nova gulps and tries to dry her face with her hand, putting on her better brave face while Leroy graps her ankle (that’s starting to turn purple) in some bandages that Lord-knows-where they came from. 

“So if you want to learn how to take care of yourself, you’ll have to obey Ingrid. And she won’t have pity on you either, because nobody had pity on her when she was your age. Bear with her.” 

That is such an awful advice. It’s so awful, that Nova feels her eyes becoming blurry with tears again, but she manages to make them go away. 

“I don’t have to bear with her. In fact, she could break my other ankle and that would be completely fine by me because it didn’t hurt when she broke the first one.” She said, in the most broken voice she had ever heard coming from herself in her entire life. “If she breaks my two ankles, I’ll still have two arms.” 

“Mmhm.” 

“And two balls.” 

“Nova, you don’t have balls. You have ovaries, and you can’t walk with them. Are the bandages too tight on your foot?”

“Can I kick Ingrid on the ovaries?” 

Leroy doesn’t respond. At least, not for a couple of seconds. 

“Nova, are the bandages too tight on your foot?”

“...It didn’t hurt, Leroy.” 

Leroy shoots a glance at her again, mockingly. 

“Good. That means you can still train today. Do you want to run a marathon through...?”

“NO!”

“Go to sleep, then.” Says Leroy.

And it’s not funny.

It’s not funny at all.

-.-

It’s a ridiculous backpack. It’s too shiny, too colorful, too…too much. That’s the word.

At least it doesn’t have any of the member of the Council’s faces on it. Though, undoubtedly, she has to give them some credit for their merch-making choices, because the only colorful things they sell are the billion photoshoots Captain Chromium and Dread Warden do during Pride Month, every single year (Ingrid uses the magazine covers to throw darts at them). 

Nova respects every fool whose personal taste combines with these types of backpacks, but she’s not one of those fools.

It has a unicorn with mobile eyes, and every time she moves, the little bells make too much noise. As if that weren’t enough, the unicorn’s tail is made out of threads that hang from the backpack.

It’s disgusting, and though the only thing she wants at the moment is to throw it at the trash can, she limits herself to place it next to her, carelessly, and then she sits in the worst humanly possible position one can think of, sitting on her right leg, and putting the left one over her right thigh. 

The pigtails are resting over her shoulders, but since the scrunchies aren’t helping at all, she feels as if her hair were dong. Besides, these clothes are itchy on her. What can one expect from an outfit that has been put together to fit with the backpack?

Mad at life, she sighs, and instead of staring at the road, she looks at the opposite way. 

Right across the imports market, which is where she’s sitting, there’s a small park. From here, she can see a small group of children playing, while their parents watch over them from the benches. One of the couples has a baby carriage. 

It’s not the best park to take your children to, and it occurs to her that it’s so ugly there’s no way this would’ve been anyone’s first option. Maybe she went there with her parents, but, if she did, she doesn’t have any memory of that day. 

By the time she hears the commotion, she’s looking at how one of the kids helps his little sister move on the swings. She immediately knows that’s her cue, to which Nova glares. 

Here comes Winston, dressed in full black, using a facemask to hide the most eye-catching elements of his makeup, wearing sunglasses, and with his hair looking like an orange broccoli, because it’s tied on a ponytail. 

He’s crossing the street like he is the reincarnated Messiah. At the same time, there are at least five cars honking at him, to which he responds standing in the middle for a couple of seconds, before walking like he’s carrying the Prophecy again. 

Once he arrives, he removes his sunglasses and glares at Nova so bad she almost believes it’s her fault. Nevertheless, all his chances of winning reduce to dust when he says: 

“For fuck’s sake. You know I have a shit memory. If you see I’m walking away without you, you have to scream.”

Nova frowns until she feels that her forehead is catching flames, and throws the hideous backpack at him. 

“Here’s your crap.” She tells him. “I hope your blood sugar levels go all the way up to 400 and you get all comatose.”

She doesn’t have the guts to wish the Hi-Chew candies he asked her to steal for him are expired, because it took a lot of sacrifice from her part to put the candy in the backpack. And, after all, she already had to dress like an idiot not to seem suspicious.

-.-

Honey’s relapse into depression is so severe she can’t take care of herself. She can’t bathe on her own, she forgets about basic things, like drinking water or eating, and she’s not even in the mood to play around with her bees. 

They’re both staring at her. Nova is sitting on the floor, while Ingrid is by the edge of the old bathtub (which Winston and Leroy stole back when they moved here), running a sponge through Honey’s back. In the end, she stares back at Nova, who does her best to smile at her…or, at least, to put on something similar to a smile. 

Honey has her legs up to her chest. She looks spaced out, but Nova wouldn’t say she’s uncomfortable. Thanks to that position, it’s easy for her to see the exact moment when she sighs, because her whole body goes up, and then down again. 

“I can sense my time has finally come.” She says. “I’m finally gonna die.” 

Ingrid clicks her tongue, and presses the sponge tighter against Honey’ back to get rid of the water excess. 

“Quit it with the bullshit.” She tells her. “We need honey. That’s one of the few things stopping us from starving to death.” 

“Can you believe that, for a second, I actually thought you were referring to me in third person because you cared about my well-being?”

Nova rolls her eyes, deciding she has had enough of this conversation, and then she goes back to her ball of wool and her knitting needles, taking the last to detach herself from the situation. Life can become boring when you don’t sleep at all, so Nova tries to keep herself busy when she isn’t training or stealing things, following the commands of these adults that are supposed to be taking care of her. 

She just wishes she had inherited her mother’s patience. She still remembers the story about how, when she met her dad, she made a very long blanket, saying that would be her wedding blanket, and one day she left the tent for a couple of hours, somebody stole it from her and then, in her words, she wasn’t the same after that.

For a moment, Honey follows Nova’s fingers with her eyes; how they manipulate the needles and the wool, awkward at times. She stares in an absent way until, from one moment to another, she asks: 

“What are you knitting, Little Nightmare?”

Nova stares back at her, and lifts the wool square so she can look at it. 

“It’s a blanket.” She responds. “I think.”

“Pff.” Ingrid scoffs. “Why does it have that many types of wool? Uh?”

“Pardon me for not stopping to carefully choose what type of wool I’m stealing.” 

“Perhaps you should.” Honey says in a hoarse voice. “Because that thing is hideous.”

“…Thank you.”

That’s why, two weeks after that, on Mother’s Day, Nova gifts it to her out of spite.

-.-

During her eleventh birthday, she doesn’t ask for anything besides ice-cream that doesn’t taste like garbage, so, reluctantly, they cramp themselves up in Leroy’s car. 

Honey is on the passenger’s seat, wrapped up in the ugly blanket Nova gave her two weeks ago, like it is a cocoon, annoyed to death thanks to Winston, who is behind her in an almost fetal position, with both his legs up to the passenger’s seat backrest. Very, very close to his face, there’s the Nintendo DS with a case that says Evander; Ingrid is staring out the window, and Nova is in the middle, like a very uncomfortable ham.

Nova doesn’t know where they’re planning to get her ice-cream but, at this point, she just wishes they don’t kill each other before they get there. 

After a while, she stops trying to guess where they’re taking her, and limits herself to sit still. If they want to take her to cross the gates from Hell, then she will just let it be that way. 

At some point, Honey asks Winston, in a very rude way, to get his legs off the backrest, but she’s not obeyed, so they begin having the type of discussion kindergarten children would have in the playground, going all like “Leroy, do something! It’s your car! It’s YOUR car, just kick him out of here!”. 

Half an hour later, they finally stop, and Nova recognizes the humid smell, not from the sea, but, more likely from a river or a canal. Then, Winston finally sits properly and proceed to damage his image once again, by opening the door with his foot. 

“You’re an animal.” Honey spits.

“Eat dirt.”

Honey manages to escape her blanket burrito in less than a second, and tries to slap Winston or at least poke one his eyes out with her nails but, first: Her seatbelt starts suffocating her as soon as she stretches back and, second: Winston is already out of her reach. At least, until he comes back, saying: 

“That is, if we don’t have to cover you in dirt first, you old mess.”

Honey goes berserk. She whimpers and screeches so much Nova feels a migraine growing at the back of her head, and Ingrid starts massaging her temples and threatening Honey, telling her that, if she doesn’t shut her ass she will make that wrinkled face of her explode (which, of course, doesn’t help at all). 

With all that chaos going on around her, Nova is barely able to witness the true tragedy. Nevertheless, she’s “fortunate” enough to look back, the very moment Winston and Leroy take the black garbage bag that seems to contain a body out of the trunk, and then they throw it directly onto the water. 

The weird sounds she had been hearing at the back of the car throughout the whole ride suddenly come back to her and, suddenly, she doesn’t feel like eating ice-cream anymore.

In fact, Nova doesn’t feel like eating anything in weeks.

-.-

She sees the whole scene from the roof, like a stray cat, attired in the costume they gifted her barely a couple of hours ago. Nightmare’s official costume. Because, of course, there’s no better gift for a child during Christmas. 

It is cloaked as a normal, polite conversation, but truth to be told, if it weren’t against the peace treaty, there would be heads rolling. Simon Westwood –The Dread Warden- and Hugh Everhart –Captain Chromium- are right there, at plain sight, talking to Honey and Leroy, who have their arms crossed across their chests, and frowning deeply. The rest of the Council members are inspecting the wagons, allowing, at the same time, Ingrid and Winston to supervise them (Lord-only-knows where Phobia is). 

Upon confirming everything’s under control, Nova manages to jump through the structure and stops where she can see Evander and Winston, inside the wagon of the last one. 

“You’re not gonna find it, egghead.” Says Winston, in an almost singing voice. Nova can spot Evander on the floor, looking for something under the few pieces of furniture he owns. 

He’s not going to find it, indeed. Nova can see the Nintendo DS in his back pocket, inside a Pop Tarts wrapping. 

“But if I find something else, you’ll be fucked.” 

“And your mom too.” 

“If you keep talking to me that way, I’m gonna fuck your mom.” 

Nova rolls her eyes, and decides this isn’t worth her time, so she chooses to place on a spot where she has a clear view of Ingrid’s wagon, looking at Tamaya Rae –Thunderbird- and Kasumi Hasegawa –Tsunami- going through her stuff. 

“If you think what you’re seeing here is interesting, just wait until you see Queen Bee’s wagon, she—“ 

“What is this, Detonator?”

“That’s the device I use to pull drugs through my eyes. I can get you one if you want to, Angel Fish.” 

“Ugh.” Nova groans under her breathe and adjusts her hoodie, before coming back where she started, to focus on Leroy and Honey.

“I don’t know how much damage was caused by this shooting/explosion you’re talking about, but we’ve been here all night.” Says Leroy with a monotonous, yet calm and almost soothing voice, in a volume that was nor too high or too low. 

“Even the Detonator?” Asks Hugh. “How sure are you about that?” 

“Very. If Ingrid’s not here by this hour, she doesn’t come back until the next day. So, it’s safe to say we’re very sure.” Honey answers. “Go on and “investigate” other people. It’s Christmas, there are many drunk people out there. And alcohol does weird things to your brain, like making you think starting a shooting it’s a fun thing to do.”

“Don’t you have better things to do?” Leroy asks. “Taking care of that zygote you adopted, for example?” 

“Let’s calm down, Cyanide.” Simon warns. “We don’t intend to cause conflict.”

“I see. Well, if you weren’t intending to cause conflict, you wouldn’t have come here in the first place, my little honeydew.” Says Honey. “We’d normally appreciate the company, but it’s getting late. You better leave.” 

“We’re not leaving until the inspection concludes.” Says Hugh. “You think you’re very clever, don’t you, Queen Bee?”

Honey laughs graciously, taking her hand up to her chest. 

“We find our own flaws in the people who don’t have them, Captain.”

“Captain, just…don’t. Bring the breathalyzer.”

“Stay there.” Leroy said, talking to Hugh. “You’re not bringing anything.” 

“And why is that, exactly?” Hugh challenged him.

“Because you don’t have our permission, and you’re in our territory.” 

Simon Westwood sighed. 

“Mr. Flinn, this isn’t personal. You have to understand this is just part of the protocol, established by—“ 

“Shove your protocol up your…”

But just as he was about to finish his insult, his gaze finds Nova’s shadow, who stares back at him from the darkness, immutable. Honey follows his stare, trying to go unnoticed, but when she sees Nova, her face expression becomes somber. Nevertheless, Nova can’t think of another thing besides all the insults she has heard coming from them, and tries to think about the most creative one. 

Then, it hits her. 

And it’s perfect. 

“Shove it up where Hugh shoves it.” She says, out loud, and then she jumps out of the scene, just as Leroy and Honey smile at her with so much pride, that Nova feels they could’ve hugged her. Hugh, from his part, turns around like a bull. 

“Who said that?! Was it the Puppeteer?!” 

“Alright, guys. Who said that?” Simon asks, way more calm than Hugh, even if the insult has been directed at him. 

“Shut up, you fucking bottom.” Honey smiles.

Nova has to choke back a laugh upon noticing the way Simon’s face becomes wrinkled, not it a pout, but in an expression of pure rage. 

“My husband is not a fucking bottom.” 

Oh?” Leroy smiles too, showing all his missing teeth. “So you’re the bottom then?” 

“OF COURSE NOT!”

Leroy and Honey stare at Hugh, and their grins almost look like an evil cat’s. From her part, Nova stares at Simon. 

And in the moment Hugh stares at him too, she knows that he knows what he did wrong. 

“Wow.” Simon takes his hands up his hips. “Wow.”

Hugh rubs his nose. 

“Honey…”

“Ow!” Honey screeches. “You’re using my name as his bottom nickname! That’s lovely!”

“Miss Harper, you stay out of this!” Hugh screams. 

“That’s what you always tell Simon, don’t you?” Leroy mocks. 

And that’s enough. 

Simon bumps his foot against the ground and spins around his own toes, already leaving. 

“SIMON, PLEASE, DON’T BE LIKE THAT!”

“HUGH! CAN YOU PLEASE STOP TALKING TO ME?! I’M MAD AT YOU AND IF YOU KEEP DOING THAT I’M GONNA START CRYING!” 

Naturally, Leroy and Honey laugh a lot.

-.-

It’s a really bad day for Winston to be home. Or, at least, for him to get out of his wagon. 

The tea is getting cold in front of her, intact, while she just looks at it. Ingrid’s is intact too, Honey’s cup is half empty and Winston doesn’t even have one because, at the moment, he’s not welcome here. 

The way they have chosen to let him know, is by ignoring him, but Nova still directs her best death stare at him, which go unnoticed because Winston is too busy trying to access his brand new stolen computer. 

“So, Little Nightmare.” Honey clicks her tongue. “What is it, that you wanted to tell us?”

Nova opens her mouth, but then closes it again. She shoots a glance at Winston, and then comes back to them. 

Then, she finds herself going back to Winston. 

“Winston.”  Nova says, in a flat tone. Upon hearing his name, Winston responds with a mild head movement, letting her know she’s been heard. “Would you mind?” 

“No, not at all. Go ahead.”

Nova has to bite her tongue to avoid telling him he’s not understanding anything, but Ingrid intervenes before she can. 

“Nova, just...ignore this clown and hurry up. We have things to do.” She says, rolling her eyes all the way to the back of her head. 

Maybe she’s right. 

Like, she can’t think of a way in which people that literally live in tunnels like sewer rats could be busy. But, after all, Ingrid is the one who leaves the tunnels the most. Sometimes she brings food. Sometimes she brings clothes…things like that. 

Besides, she’s not in the mood to dance around the issue for long. For that reason, she just lets it out. 

“I think I’m menstruating.” 

And after a couple of seconds of silence, the phrases arrive at the same time. 

“ARE YOU?!”

“Lucky are the ones who bleed.” 

“Holy shit. Monstruation.” 

Nova stares at all three of them in disgust, but they’re too busy minding their own businesses. Honey’s smile falls immediately, and she turns to Ingrid, who at the same time is looking at Winston, who’s looking at Nova. 

Knowing they’re about to start making it about themselves, she interrupts. Not today. The one having the crisis is her.

“So? What we going to do about it? Are you gonna help me with it or do I have to go and steal my stuff alone?” 

Ingrid finally gets the courage to face Honey, who blinks one single time. 

“Who’s not bleeding?”

“I don’t know.” Ingrid responded, no hesitation. “Are you still?” 

“No. No. No. No. This isn’t about me, you little shit.” 

It’s not, indeed.

“…So don’t you go a try to pull that card.”

“You were the one who asked.”

“Why aren’t you bleeding, Ingrid?” 

They all wait for the answer, but the answer never comes. And, she has to admit, she’s as surprised as they are, but that doesn’t change the fact this is not about Ingrid. It shouldn’t be about Ingrid, at least. 

“Guys.”

But they don’t mind her. 

There are more important things to pay attention to, apparently. 

For example, the way Honey gets up and crosses her arms over her chest. 

Then, after groaning, she turns around and presses her palms over her eyes, and exhales loudly, before spinning on her toes again. 

“I need my pills.” She whispers under breath, but not enough for them not to hear her. “Get your fucking coat.” 

“Uh?”

“GET YOUR COAT, AND PUT YOUR SHOES ON!” 

It escalates so fast, that Ingrid has no choice but to obey. But, even as she’s walking away, Nova can’t help but think she’s relieved. She looks relieved. 

Good for her.

At least someone is getting what she needs. 

-.-

Nova is trembling on her “bed” by the time Winston comes into her wagon. She tries to ignore him, and he doesn’t talk to her either, but he does place the black bag he’s carrying in his hand next to her. A big black bag. 

Then, he sits on the floor, and starts playing with a rubik cube. That’s, in fact, the first time he talks to her. 

“I don’t know what’s that thing about wings, and some of them might be adult diapers because all the models on the boxes were girls. I also brought those ghost thingies because they’re funny, and I’ve brought them a couple of times for Ingrid.” Says Winston. 

A couple of seconds later, he adds: 

“I tried.” 

She blinks and gulps, before answering. 

“I know. Thanks.”

-.-

As the hours go by, the pain gets worse, and worse, and worse, until she’s shaking even more, and she’s basically curled up in a ball.

Once the sun goes down, Nova hears Ingrid and Honey outside, but she doesn’t mind them. For a short while, she hears them talking to Leroy and Winston under their breath, to then go on with their lives. It’s in that very moment, that Nova hates everything.

She hates the way in which Ingrid has to make everything about herself. She hates the way in which, once again, she’s not coming first. She hates that it hurts…

And she hates that, when Honey comes into her wagon, she stares at her, and Nova can’t help but to stare back.

Then, she comes into the mattress, holding a white plastic bag, where Nova can see she’s carrying some pills. Honey is already in her pajamas, and her face is free of makeup. 

As the mattress shrinks beneath her weight, Nova tries to pull away from her but, for some reason, she’s scared she’ll make a mess because of her…situation. Honey remains right where she is, and, a couple of seconds later, Nova feels her hand over her back. She’s very cold. 

Very cold.

But she doesn’t mind. It’s relieving.

It’s relieving until Nova remembers she’s mad at her. 

“Do you need a painkiller, honeybun?” 

And Nova takes it irrationally personal. 

“Oh, so…now you care.” She snaps. “Now you care about me. Weren’t you too busy with Ingrid? Why don’t you ask her if she needs a painkiller?!” 

With that being said, Honey goes silent, until she just…finishes laying down, and she feels her hand over her again. This time, on her shoulder. 

For a second, Nova feels lucid, but all that lucidity is blinded by the overwhelming pain at the bottom of her stomach, and how everything is horrible and sad and everything hurts. 

And when there is nothing left, she still finds Honey. When the first tears start flowing from her eyes, Nova turns around, and allows her body to interlock between Honey’s, and accepts her hug. Honey stroked her hair and hummed in her ear. 

Nova doesn’t fall asleep, of course. But Honey does. 

And even then, they don’t move.

For the longest time, they don’t move. 

Two blocks later, Ingrid’s limp gets worse. 

And worse. 

And worse.

And worse, until Nova’s own ankle starts hurting just by thinking about in how much pain she must be in; so she tries wrapping her arm around her waist so Ingrid can use her as a human crutch, but in the moment she feels Nova’s touch, Ingrid snaps. 

“Let go. You’re short. If I try to hold on to you, you’ll break my spine too.”

Nova rolls her eyes. 

“Fuck you, then.”

As expected, it takes them forever to get to the tunnels, and they finally arrive, Leroy’s waiting for them awake, and it takes Winston and Honey less than ten minutes to wake up too, when they hear all the movement coming from Ingrid’s wagon. 

Once they’ve arrived there, Leroy dismisses himself from the duty of taking care of Ingrid’s swollen ankle, and throws the ball to Honey instead, who doesn’t complain, but she doesn’t treat Ingrid more tenderly than Leroy either. 

Nova watches the scene as she bites her nails. Ingrid’s ankle has gotten so big she can’t help but compare it to a frog, and as Honey pokes it (instead of massaging it) to try to find out what’s wrong with it, the bruises on her skin become more evident. 

“I don’t think it’s broken.” Honey concludes. “It’s more likely…”

“Sprained.” Leroy nods. 

“Yes. Sprained. Little Nightmare, would you please hand me some bandages?” 

She skips the part where she asks Honey to not call her that (Little Nightmare) and obeys without hesitation. After all, she knows where Ingrid keeps that type of stuff. She’s been here bleeding or with injured limbs many times before. 

“What the hell happened to you?” Winston laughs. “Are you still this dumb? Really?”

Nova holds her breath as she takes the bandages. 

“Actually, no. Like, you’re not gonna believe what happened.” 

“Please, if any of the Renegades’ little brainless patrolling units did this to you, just…skip the story, because I’ll get really mad.” 

“Nova tackled the shit out of me during training.” 

She hugs the bandages really tightly against her chest, waiting for someone, anyone, to say something. It feels like a small piece of glass trapped in her skin and she wants it out as fast as possible. She wants the lecture to be over before it has even started. She wants…

“She did?”

“She did. And it was awesome.”

What the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the

“OH MY GOSH! NOVA!” Ingrid screams in pain as Honey violently lets go of her ankle and runs towards Nova, who turns around and accepts her effusive hug just because it’s too late to reject it. The bandages fall to the ground as she pats Honey’s back, confused. 

“Really, you should’ve seen her!” Ingrid screeches, already recovered. “She was great! HECK, WAS I IMPRESSED.”

“Ingrid, what the fu—“ 

“SHE TACKLED ME! TO THE GROUND! THERE’S NO WAY SHE COULD’VE DONE THAT LAST MONTH! SHE WAS AMAZING!” 

“Sounds like she was.” Leroy smiles. It’s not a wide smile, but still a smile. “Congratulations, Nova.”

Honey, who has stopped hugging her and now has her arms around her shoulders, laughs. 

“We knew you were better than that. You were just playing dumb, weren’t you?”

“I…”

“So…she…sprained your ankle when she tackled you to the floor?” Winston asks. 

“NO, NO, NO! BECAUSE AFTER SHE TACKLED ME, SHE MANAGED TO THROW ME OFF A FUCKING FENCE! I MEAN, HOW COOL IS THAT?!” 

Winston blinks. And for a moment, she sees something weird in his expression. Something…different. 

But maybe she’s just paranoid. 

“…Yeah. Pretty cool.” 

Nova blinks too. 

And the only thing she knows right now is that…

Well.

Perhaps she doesn’t know anything. 

“Heck. I’m proud of you.”

And Ingrid smiles. At her. 

And Nova feels the corner of her lips shaking as they correspond that smile. Next thing she realizes is that that’s how it feels to get it right for the first time. 

“You’re finally getting stronger. Next time…” 

“Next time I’ll wreck you.” Nova says, her smile widening. “And there’s nothing you can do about it.”

Ingrid raises an eyebrow at her, jokingly. 

“Promises, promises, Nightmare. I hope you can keep them.”

Oh, she will.

-.-

At sixteen years old, a few months prior the parade where they plan to assassinate Hugh Everhart, Nova comprehend they’re doing the best they can. 

But she doesn’t tell them that. 

[plaidbooks]

Feeling Cold

A/N: I just can’t stop writing Sonny Carisi, especially fluff. Because this man deserves fluff and happiness (okay, everyone on svu deserves that). Anyways, here’s some fluffy Sonny fluff.

To my non-American crowd, 5⁰F = -15⁰C

Tags: none (it’s implied they have sex at the end), alcohol mention (Bailey’s is an Irish cream liqueur)

Words: 2577

Taglist: @witches-unruly-heart @beccabarba @thatesqcrush @itsjustmyfantasyroom @stardust-fray @permanentlydizzy @infiniteoddball @ben-c-group-therapy @glowingmess @whimsicallymad @lv7867 @storiesofsvu @cycat4077 @shroomiehomie @alwaysachorusgirl @glimmerglittergirl @joanofarkansass @averyhotchner @redlipstickandplaid @mrsrafaelbarba @detective-giggles @crowleysqueenofhell @reading--mermaid @dreamlover31

It was one of those days where Sonny had arraignments all morning, then no court the rest of the day. Normally, he loved that; it’s not that he hated trials or courts, but he felt like it was, well, a time sinkhole. He had so much paperwork and stuff to do, and sitting at a table, listening to the defense drone on and on, made him more anxious as he thought about the stacks of files in his office. When he was up in front of the judge and jury, it was fine; he was getting things done. Any moment not actively working felt like a waste, though.

But today, he was leaving the warmth of the courthouse to half-jog through snow and 5⁰ weather. He checked his watch as he entered One Hogan Place, seeing that it was his “normal” lunch time; he was planning to take a quick lunch break, then dive into work. Plus, his lunch break meant he got to call you.

You had the day off, so he called you while in the elevator, heading up to the eighth floor. “Hey, doll. I’m done with court and just heading up to take my lunch. How’s your day?” His voice was a little unsteady, his teeth chattering. He had his normal peacoat over his suit, but he had forgotten both his scarf and gloves, and he was freezing.

“Fine…. You sound cold, Sonny. Are you outside?” you asked.

He huffed. “Not anymore—I’m just getting to the eighth floor,” he explained. The elevator doors dinged open, and Sonny let out a hiss as a blast of cold air hit him.

“What happened?” you asked, hearing his exhale.

He let out a shiver. “It’s fucking cold in the office.” Hurrying to his door, he unlocked it with numb fingers, and it was even colder inside. “The heater must be broken.”

He noticed everyone on his floor bundled in various coats and blankets, some even with personal heaters. Sonny moved behind his desk, sitting in the chair and feeling another shiver move up his spine from the cold leather.

“Would coffee help?” you tried. You had just made a huge batch of soup—for lunch and dinner tonight—and you wished Sonny could have some.

“Y-yeah…good idea.” He stood and went to his coffee maker. “Aaaand, it’s broken. Holy shit.” He clenched his jaw, feeling tears in his eyes from frustration.

“Oh god; I’m sorry Sonny. Can you leave early? Bring paperwork home to work on?”

“No—I have a meeting in two hours, and I need to be here. I-it’s fine. I can deal with this.” He grimaced, running a hand through his hair. “Look, I’m gonna go—eat my lunch. I’ll talk to you tonight, doll. I love you.”

“I love you, too, Sonny. It’ll work out; I promise.” You hung up, thinking. Sonny sounded so upset, and you knew him—he got cold easily. The downfall of his lankiness. It was only a 10-minute drive to his office; you could easily make it before his meeting. Hell, he’d probably still be on lunch.

You ladled some soup into an insulated thermos, then pulled on Sonny’s coat—which was much too big on you. And then you pulled on a second of his coats. You stopped by the store on your way, buying literally the last space heater on the shelf, and ordering an extra-large coffee—with a tray.

You put the thermos on the tray, opposite the coffee. Tray in one hand and space heater in the other, you made your way to the eighth floor of One Hogan Place. It was freezing in the building, and you felt bad for the various workers you passed by, all bundled up.

You made it to Sonny’s office, putting the heater down to knock on his door. He called out to you, and you opened the door, stooping to grab the heater as you entered.

“D-doll?” Sonny asked, shivering. He took you in—the two coats, the tray and box. “Wh-what—?”

“I figured you needed this,” you said, smiling. He shook himself, standing and hurrying around his desk. You handed him the tray with coffee and soup, then placed the heater on the desk.

Sonny put the tray on his desk, still looking confused. “What i-i-is all this-s-s?”

“Drink some coffee—warm up. The thermos has minestrone soup,” you instructed. He didn’t need to be told twice, taking a deep gulp from the coffee cup. You shrugged off the top coat, laying it on the desk. Then, you shrugged off the second coat—the one that was insulated between your body heat and the top coat. Sonny stood stock still as you slipped his arm through one sleeve, then pulled the other one on.

“Better?” you asked, grinning at him. You pulled the other coat back on—it was cold in his office. Sonny nodded, just barely, and you turned to the desk, ripping the space heater box open.

Sonny was so stunned by your act of love; you were here to make him warm, to make him feel better. His mind was spinning—he was the one that did this for others. No one had taken care of him like this…except for his Ma when he was little. He didn’t quite know how to process it.

You finished “building” the space heater—you simply shoved the base on—then stood it by his chair and plugged it in.

“Is this a good spot?” you asked, turning to look at him. But Sonny hadn’t moved, his brow furrowed as he looked at you—no, he looked through you. “Sonny?”

He visibly shook himself. “I-I’m sorry, what?”

You gestured to the heater. “Sit in your chair as if you’re working and tell me if this is placed right.”

Sonny moved back behind his desk, pulling his coat closer around him, then sitting. “A little to the left?”

You moved the heater this way and that until Sonny announced it was perfect. Then he stood once more, coming over to you, and wrapping you in his arms. He kissed your cheek, his lips cold still.

“I love you so much. Thank you,” he muttered in your ear.

You smiled against his shoulder. “Of course, Son. I love you, too.” He held you for a long time, both of you warming from the contact. You kissed his cheek, your lips warm against his cold skin.

Eventually, you pulled back. “Text me when you’re coming home—I’ll have the heater on and a bath ready for you, okay?”

“Y-yeah, okay. Thank you again. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“Freeze to death, apparently,” you teased, and he chuckled. “Now drink that coffee and that soup before they get cold. And don’t be too late tonight—it’s supposed to get colder and snow more.”

You moved to the door, and he croaked out another, “I love you.”

You paused and turned, giving him a soft smile. “I love you, too. See you tonight.”

 *********************

Sonny texted you that he was heading home. The soup was simmering, the heater was on, and you made hot chocolate. The bath, you’d wait until he was home, so that it’d be steaming hot. Still, you got a towel ready for him, and you grabbed his favorite sweats and his Fordham hoodie, throwing them in the dryer.

You heard Sonny’s footsteps in the hallway outside your shared apartment, and you went to grab a mug. The front door opened and shut as you poured some Baileys into the mug, then the hot chocolate.

“I’m home, doll,” Sonny announced, shrugging out of his two coats and suit jacket.

“In the kitchen,” you called back. You met him as he came in, handing him the hot chocolate. Sonny was shivering again, his nose and cheeks bright red.

He cupped the mug with both hands, groaning as the warmth seeped into his skin. “Th-thank you-u-u,” he breathed.

“Mhm—there’s Baileys in it, too,” you warned, and he took a grateful sip. You smiled as he made a happy sound, then took another sip. “I’ll get that bath ready, and then you can have some soup.”

You headed for the bathroom, then turned the water on. As soon as it was hot, you plugged the tub, letting it fill. Sonny joined you in the bathroom, and you swore you saw tears in his eyes.

“Are you okay, Sonny?” you asked, worried.

He nodded, blinking rapidly. “Fine; just something in my eye.”

You gave him a look before brushing it off. “Okay, well, bath’s almost full if you wanna strip.”

He placed the empty mug on the counter, then started pulling his clothes off. He was still trembling slightly, goosebumps on his skin even in the warm apartment, and you were worried he may get sick. Once undressed, you helped him into the bath. He groaned as he sunk down, letting himself slide until he was almost fully underwater. You smiled at him, leaning down to kiss the top of his head. Then, you took the empty mug, and went to refill it.

You brought a full mug back, and Sonny’s eyes were closed as he soaked. “This water feels amazing,” he moaned.

“I’m glad,” you replied, passing him the mug. “How was the rest of your day?”

“Soooo much better with that space heater. Thank you so much for that—I can’t believe you found one.”

“It was the last one on the shelf. But if they were out, then I would’ve just dropped off the coffee, soup, and coat, then gone out to find one for you.”

Sonny blinked, staring at you. “You’d do that for me?”

“Of course, I would—you’d do it for me,” you replied, chuckling in disbelief that he asked.

“Y-yeah…I would…” he trailed off, sipping his hot chocolate.

You smiled at him. “Then why is it so shocking?”

He shook his head. “Don’t worry about it. I just…never mind.” You gave him a stern look and he sighed. “I’m just…I should be used to this by now.”

“Used to what?”

“Someone taking care of me…someone who cares….”

You softened at his words. You had been dating for a few years now, having just moved in 7 months ago. And while it’s true that Sonny went above and beyond in the relationship, you tried your best to do the same for him. The only issue was that Sonny usually brushed off your attempts, not maliciously—he just wasn’t used to it, like he said. You’d try and cook dinner after a long day, and he’d take over once home. You’d plan to have his suits dry cleaned, and he’d snag them on his way to work, picking them up on his way home. Sonny didn’t like people waiting on him; he felt like it was a bother to have someone do something he could easily do himself. Your only time to “take care of him” was while he was at work, or holding him after a long day.

“Listen to me, Sonny; a relationship shouldn’t be one person doing everything for the other. There has to be a balance. So, let me take care of you. Let me do things for you, even though you can do it yourself. I want to do things for you, okay?”

Sonny turned to look deeply into your eyes. He scanned your face for a long time before he eventually nodded, a small smile on his face. “Yeah…okay. I can do—I can try and do that.”

“That’s all I ask,” you replied. You stood, turning to leave the bathroom.

“I’ll be out in a moment—the waters getting cold,” Sonny said.

You turned back, smiling. “Okay. I’ll get your clothes ready.

He raised an eyebrow at you as you left, heading for the dryer. You pulled out his hoodie and sweats—both steaming hot. By the time you came back to the bathroom, Sonny was out of the tub, drying off. You passed him the clothes, and he smiled softly as he felt the warmth in the fabric.

As he got dressed, you went back to the kitchen, stirring the soup. Long arms wrapped around you from behind, and Sonny’s chin went to your shoulder.

You chuckled. “Feeling warmer?”

“I always feel warmer around you.”

“Awww, that’s cute. But I’m serious,” you said, turning in his arms.

He grinned at you. “Yes, I’m warm now. Thank you, doll.” He leaned down and kissed you tenderly, putting all his love and affection into it.

“Good,” you whispered against his lips. “Ready for dinner?”

Sonny gave you another kiss before pulling away, heading for the cabinet with bowls. “Starving.”

 *******************

Sonny caught you up with his day during dinner, then asked you for yours. Your day was a lot more boring, so there wasn’t much to comment on. Even so, Sonny hung on every word, as if you had traveled the world in 80 days rather than make and simmer a soup, and do some small jobs around the apartment.

Once done eating, you cleared the bowls, rinsing them out and putting them in the dish washer. Then, you went back to Sonny on the couch, throwing a blanket over him, and cuddling next to him. He chuckled, moving the blanket so that it was covering you both, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you against his chest.

“I love you so damn much,” he murmured against your head, pressing a kiss to your temple.

You chuckled. “I love you, too.”

You both sat there a moment longer, watching whatever Sonny put on TV. You could hear him humming—something he did when he was thinking hard. You were just about to ask him what he was thinking about when he whispered, barely audible, “marry me.”

You let out a surprised huff of laughter. “I think you’ve had too much Baileys.”

“I’m serious. Marry me.”

You turned to look at him, finding his eyes on you. “You’re serious?”

Sonny rolled his eyes, the corners of his mouth twitching upwards. You sat up as he got off the couch and disappeared down the hallway to your room. There was some shuffling, and your heart started beating faster. He came back soon enough, a small ring box in his hand.

“Yeah, I’m serious,” he announced, dropping to one knee in front of you.

Tears sprung to your eyes as you gasped, your hand coming to your mouth. “Oh my god! Of course, I’ll marry you!” you tearfully said, hands shaking.

Seeing you cry made Sonny start crying. He sniffled loudly, blinking his eyes rapidly as he took the ring and slid it on your finger. He got up, and you pulled him right back down into your lap, holding him close and kissing him.

“Well, I guess now I have to get used to you taking care of me,” he muttered, and you laughed.

“Yeah, you do. I want to take care of you, love. You spend so much of yourself, taking care of everyone. Let me return it.”

Sonny nodded. “I will. I promise. But right now, I want to return the favor. You warmed me up, and I have an idea of how to warm you up.” He leaned in to kiss you deeply, and you gripped his hair, tugging gently. He groaned into your mouth before urging you to stand, dragging you to bed.

[managedmischiefs]

BAD DAY//MATTHEW GRAY GUBLER

word count: 3k

warnings: body image issues

before we get into the writing i just wanted to say that i’m not, in any way, criticizing mgg’s body in this fic. it is never my intention to make others feel bad about their bodies. i have plenty of experience w that and it feels awful. if anyone has a problem w this fic then please let me know. thank u.

i collapse onto the couch after a long day of cleaning the house, blasting music and dancing around while i have time alone. the house has been in need of a serious cleaning and when i woke up this morning with the energy to be productive, i didn't let it go to waste. the dishes were washed, all the laundry washed and folded and put away, rugs vacuumed, trash put on the curb, bathrooms scrubbed down, and mirrors cleaned of scuffs. and by dinner time, i've finished and feeling accomplished.

matthew has been away at work all day and was only able to spare me one text around lunchtime to tell me that he might be later than usual. i responded with a text that was far sweeter than it needed to be, professing my love multiple times and adding a slew of cute emojis. days that run long typically mean bad days, and bad days mean a very upset boyfriend. that never ends well.

when matthew doesn't arrive home by six, i send him a text to let him know that i'm going to order chinese food for the both of us, and that he can eat when he returns home. i get nothing in return.

i watch tv while i wait for the food to arrive and only half pay attention to whatever is on the tv. my only thoughts are of my boyfriend and how horribly his day must be going. the food arrives and i put it away for later so that neither of us have to eat alone. i take my place on the couch again and wait anxiously for the door to open.

surely enough, the front door swings open and matthew comes stomping in. i hear his backpack hit the floor and then his keys following, and then the door slams closed. he doesn't come into the living room where he know i always am when he gets home, and instead goes rushing up the stairs and presumably to the bedroom. surely enough, the door slams shut a second later.

a heavy sigh falls from my mouth. i shut the tv off and go to pick up the things he had thrown onto the ground. i give matthew a moment alone to collect his thoughts and once i've tucked away his keys and hung up his backpack, i make my way up the stairs and to our bedroom.

i knock on the door softly before entering, my heart breaking at the sight before me. matthew is sitting on the edge of the bed with his head in his hands, arms trembling and shoulders shaking. i can hear him sniffling softly, fighting back tears. he looks so helpless and so broken and in the five years that we've been together, i don't think i've ever seen him like this after a day at work.

i close the door gently behind me, and when the door clicks, i see matthew flinch slightly. "hi, sweetheart," i whisper, walking a few steps closer. "can i do something for you? can i help?" matthew hesitates with his answer, sniffling before nodding a tiny bit. "yeah? okay, what can i do?" i move to sit next to him now, a few inches away. i know he won't give me an answer when he's in this state, but sometimes, just asking helps. so i just sit and wait with him as he fights off his tears.

"you can cry, you know?" i whisper. "you can cry if you need to. don't hold it in." matthew shoulders start to shake even more, his hands sliding up and into his hair. he tugs on the strands, letting out a strangled sob for the first time. my heart absolutely breaks, and i reach forward to place a hand on his back, stroking up and down the fabric of his tee shirt. "baby, i'm here right. it's okay. you're okay."

he reaches his hand back and clutches my hand, tugging on it, but not lifting his head. i scoot closer, but as soon as our legs are touching, matthew's other hand starts pulling at my thigh, trying to get me even closer. so i move to stand in between his legs, pulling his hands out of his hair so he won't give himself a headache.

and once his hands are away from his hair, he grabs my waist and pulls me right into his lap, tucking his face into my neck. this is the time that he finally lets himself go, sobbing into my shoulder and holding my waist as tight as he possibly can.

"oh, my love," i coo, brushing my fingers through his hair and running my fingers up and down his spine, "i've got you. i've got you. just let it out. i love you so much."

he hiccups and trembles as he cries, and cries, and cries. i rock him back and forth just slightly, hoping the movement will bring him some sort of comfort and tranquility. and i'm not sure how long we just sit like that, holding each other as i whisper sweet nothings into matthew's ear. but eventually, his cries slow down and he's just shaking in my arms, clutching my sweater.

"can you look at me, baby? it's okay, i've got you," he lifts his head slowly, staring at me with bloodshot eyes and wet cheeks, pretty lips pouting and nose scrunching up as he sniffles. but i give him a smile, raising my hands to wipe the tears off his cheeks and brush his hair off his forehead. "hi, my love."

matthew's lips quirk up in the slightest but they don't stay that way. "hi," he whispers, voice cracking.

"so do you wanna talk about it or go do something else?" i keep touching his face, wiping the new tears away and letting his nuzzle his cheek into my hand.

"something else, please." he says.

"okay, that's fine. are you hungry? do you want dinner? it's in the fridge, i can go heat it up."

"no, no, i'm not hungry." he shakes his head, turning his head to place a kiss on the palm of my hand. "i think i wanna go take a bath, if that's okay?"

"of course that's okay. you do whatever you want. do you want me to come or do you wanna be alone?" matthew just shrugs in response. "okay, well, why don't you go alone and i'll come by in a little while?"

"yeah, okay," matthew nods and slowly ushers me off his lap, dragging himself into the connected bathroom. he closes the door behind him and i hear the water running a few seconds later.

i can honestly say that i've never seen him so upset, at least not in recent times. he's had his fair share of breakdowns over the years but this feels different. he's been upset over a bad day at work or not getting a role, but i can't recall a time when he cried that much.

i go downstairs and, regardless of what matthew said, heat up the food i ordered. i know that he doesn't have time to eat on busy days and usually tears through the fridge and pantry when he gets home. he didn't do that today so i can only imagine how hungry he is.

i leave the food in the microwave so it will stay hot and then head back upstairs. i knock gently on the bathroom door, waiting for a response that i never get. "matthew?" i crack the door open just the tiniest bit but don't poke my head in. "is it okay if i come in for a few minutes?"

i hear the water sloshing around before he hums. "mhm."

i enter the hot bathroom and close the door behind me. matthew's legs are pulled up to his chest, forehead resting on his knees and arms wrapped protectively around himself. i sit down beside the tub and reach over to run my fingers through his damp hair.

"sweet boy," i coo softly, "i know you said you don't wanna talk about what's making you upset, but i think it'll help. i don't wanna force you, but i wanna help you feel better." he leans into my touch when i trail my fingers down his cheek, almost purring like a cat.

"m'dizzy," matthew murmurs so quietly i barely even hear him.

i furrow my eyebrows at him, cocking my head to the side. "you're dizzy? from the heat in here?" i jump up and open the bathroom door so some of the heat can travel out. "did you drink enough water? have you eaten enough today?"

matthew shakes his head no, sniffling yet again. "no."

"no," i repeat, defeated. "well, i heated up the chinese i ordered and i left it downstairs. so maybe you can jump out of the bath and come eat and you'll feel better? sound good?"

i stand and hold matthew's towel out for him as he slowly climbs out of the bathtub. i watch him carefully, making sure his dizziness doesn't overcome him. not that i could do anything like catch him if he fainted. he’s too tall and i’m too short. i pull the plug on the drain and usher matthew back into the bedroom.

i watch in careful silence as he pulls on pajama pants and an oversized sweatshirt, scrunching up his nose in the most adorable way. and once he's dressed, he turns to me with his shoulders hunched forward, almost like he's waiting for me to tell him what to do and where to go. i've been doing it since he walked in the door so i suppose he's too far gone that he needs me to continue.

i give him a small smile and grab onto his hand, leading him down to the kitchen. i point to a barstool in a silence instruction to take a seat, and retrieve our food from the microwave.

"so," i state as i sit down and dig into my fried rice, "i finished the next chapter of my book today! it's not the best writing i've done so i'm gonna do extensive editing on it, but at least it's done. i've been stuck on this chapter for weeks and i'm just relieved that i can move on."

"i'm sure what you've already written is amazing," he half heartedly, stabbing a piece of chicken before pushing it off his fork again.

i keep talking about my writing process, and observe him as he plays with his food and doesn't eat anything at all. i've finished my food in ten minutes and matthew hasn't eaten anything. he responds every now and then with short sentences or one word answers, and doesn't lift his head much.

i throw out my containers and fill up a glass with water and ice, placing it beside matthew's hand. i sit on the barstool beside him, facing him instead of forward. "you haven't eaten anything, sweet boy. you need to eat. did you eat anything today?" matthew ducks his head even further down and shakes his head no. i resist my urge to sigh. "okay, can you tell me why? i made breakfast for both of us and i thought you ate."

"no," he shakes his head again. "i don't- i just don't wanna eat."

he's never acted like this before and it's truly heartbreaking. he doesn't seem like the man i feel in love with and he's even a completely different man from the different man he is when he's upset. this is a new version of my boyfriend that i hope makes a one time appearance.

matthew takes a long breath and pushes around his rice before starting to speak. "last week, on set, i had a fitting for outfits for the episode we filmed today. and the kevlar vest that i've been using for years didn't fit. it was too small. so i," he hesitates, and then tilts his head a little towards me. i instantly bring my hair up to his wet hair and start scratching his scalp, "i just, well, this past week i just decided to eat less and hope that i could fit into the vest today. but it didn't work. it was still too small and it looked absolutely horrible. i looked horrible. ugly."

and yet again, my heart breaks for him. i've never really heard of matthew having issues with his body, except for the off comment that he didn't look good in an outfit or that it didn't flatter him. nothing to this extent. but i've had my fair share of body image issues over the years and matthew has always been quick to remind me that i'm stunning, regardless of whether i'm wearing an extra small or a large.

"i'm sorry you feel this way, love," i drag my hand back to the nape of his neck and play with the short hair there. "and i know exactly how it feels to not fit into clothes that you used to fit into. but you've helped me realize that we don't keep the same body every year. our bodies change as we get older. remember that red dress you really liked on me? it doesn't fit me anymore because i'm not as skinny as i was when we met. but i got a new one that suits me better. it's okay for your body to change and there's nothing wrong with it. you're beautiful no matter what, or handsome, if you'd prefer that."

matthew nods, wiping his cheeks when he finally lifts his head. "i just looked so bad today."

"i'm sure you didn't. i always tell you that i look horrible in outfits you think i look good in. everyone is always really hard on themselves and that's natural."

he drops his head again and let's go of his fork, letting out a heavy sigh and resting his hands in his lap. but i stand, moving his hand away and sitting down on his lap, placing my hands right on his ribs. "when you filmed season twelve, you started to work out more. remember?"

matthew nods. "yeah, of course. what does that have to do with anything?"

"you thought that you would put on weight in muscle, and that's exactly what happened. your shoulders got broader, your thighs got thicker. and you know what?" i lean forward until our noses are touching. i manage to get a tiny smile out of him when i give him an eskimo kiss, our noses rubbing together. "i absolutely loved your body before and after you started working out. you know how much i love your thighs. they're sexy, baby. i know that me telling you things like this doesn't really help but i love your body, no matter what it looks like. what your body looks like doesn't define you."

"really?" he gives me the most adorable puppy eyes. "you like my, you know, my body?"

"i love your body, matthew," i move my hands down from his ribs to his stomach, slipping them under his sweatshirt and placing them on his bare skin. "i love everything about you." matthew lets his head fall forward and presses his forehead into my shoulder as i let my hand continue to roam his skin. "i'm not gonna force you to eat if you really don't want to, but i don't want you to starve yourself either. so i'm gonna go, okay? i'm gonna go sit in bed and you can either eat or not and not feel pressured by me staring at you, and you can join me when you're ready."

i place a kiss on matthew's nose before retracting my hands and heading back to our bedroom. part of me wants to hold him down and force him to eat all of his food and another part of me knows that letting him make his own decisions is the right choice. forcing him to eat when he feels badly about his body is the worst thing i could do. it could make him spin even further out of control and that is obviously the last thing i want.

so i curl up under the duvet on my side of the bed and flip the television on, skimming through the channels until i find some random romcom that i watched with matthew years ago. i leave that on and start scrolling through my social media.

just a few minutes later, matthew comes wandering into the room and closes the door behind him. when he walks towards the bed, i notice he's holding his pint of fried rice in his hand, and while i would normally not support eating in bed out of fear of getting the sheets dirty, i make an exception for this.

he gives me a weak smile as he climbs in beside me, instantly tangling his legs with me. i roll over and rest my head on his chest, bringing my arm around his stomach, resting my hand in his sweatshirt pocket. i try my hardest to ignore it as matthew scoops rice into his mouth slowly. i can tell it's a little bit of a chore for him to be eating, but nonetheless, i'm proud of him for doing it, even if he only eats a few pieces of rice.

"we watched this movie a long time ago. one of our first dates, right?" matthew mumbles.

"mhm," i nod against his chest, "we watched this in your house in the living room and ate pizza and complained about the acting."

"i love you," matthew randomly confesses, leaning down to press his lips to my forehead. "thank you. i don't know what i'd do without you."

"well, you'll never have to find out because you're stuck with me," i quip, leaning up to kiss his cheek. "and i love you too. a whole lot. and i love your tummy too. i think i might love your tum more than i love you. no offense."

[liquid-luck-00]

Crossing Worlds

This all started because of this

~~~~~~~~~~

Damian Wayne, age 18, son of Bruce Wayne the Batman. Was surprisingly walking aimlessly through the manor. He knew his father was in his study, Tim was in the cave, Jason, Dick, and Alfred were somewhere but that didn't matter to him. It was a rare moment where the manor was quiet, but his mind was anything but.

He found himself in one of the music rooms.

He went over to a blue and silver Stratocaster, what looked like two small earring hoops were pushed through the strap, the blue metal with each having three onyx bats shown against the matte strap. He plugged it in and begin to strum, after a while a melody was in his mind and he followed the song in his head. He was vaguely aware of his family coming in during the song, but he continued, his mind solely focused on the music.

"Wow I didn't know you could play Baby Bird" Grayson complemented after he had finished.

"Tt. I am proficient at many instruments" he responded calmly.

"Okay Demon Spawn is good at guitar" Todd started "Do you know any Jagged Stone songs?"

"Who?" he asked confused, this was apparently the wrong thing to say.

"What!!!" all three of his brothers shouted simultaneously.

It was Todd that spoke up again "We are totally listening to his albums now" Todd pushed and guided Damian to the game room and placed a CD into the player, tossing the album case to him. After a three full albums Damian spoke again "I've never heard any of those but they were good I suppose" again that was the wrong thing to say.

As all three yelled "What" again.

"How hard did Croc hit you yesterday?" Drake asked.

What I had a run in with Ivy. And that was just to help her find Harley.

He must have shown his confusion because his brothers were about to descend on him but then all of them heard a crash. That sent everyone into alert. Within a moment Damian took point his katana in his hands, Drake and Grayson behind him, and Todd brought up the rear a glock in each hand.

They heard a high pitched chirping from the music room, so it was as good a place to start as any. They opened the door to see a...is that a bat. The bat must have noticed them because they were now facing them just floating there.

"Wait why are you floating not flapping your wings?" Damian didn't realize he spoke aloud but he didn't expect it to answer back.

"I don't need to" it answered gruffly.

"It can talk. Why can it talk?" Grayson shrieked behind him.

"First off it has a name and it's Damon" the little bat, Damon, crossed it’s wings "and second I am a Kwami."

"And what is a Kwami?" Drake asked.

"Simply put Kwami are pocket sized gods bound to miraculous or jewelry." Damon explained "I am the Kwami of space, sorry for pulling you with me pup." By now the little god was floating in front of Damian.

That was when he realized he was talking to him. "What do you mean?" he asked and held out his hand and the Kwami hung upside down from his fingers.

"Essentially my miraculous was lost in space and ended up in your world. You unconsciously activated my miraculous which allowed me to come home but you were pulled into it with me." he explained.

"So this isn't Demon Spawn" Todd spoke the question on everyone’s mind.

"No. He is saying this Damian is from an alternate universe" Drake explained "its the multiverse theory."

"Exactly but unless you want to go back there are no consequences"

"There is always an effect with magic though." Grayson added intelligently.

"That is true for magic wielded by mortals" he answered "but I am not. My powers in this form are unlimited and volatile but not without balance. You pup exist in both so it has no consequence."

"Would this affect my memories?" Damian asked the god.

"Yes and no. Major events of an individuals past and character traits tend to stay the same. Smaller and more trivial events may be different" Damon explains. By this time Pennyworth and Father have been caught up and were listening. "More likely there are people added into this world who did not exist in yours."

"That would explain why you never heard of Jagged when we are always blasting his songs" Todd grumbled.

That was when an alarm sounded from Drake's phone.

"Speaking of which Jagged's concert is in two days and our flight to Paris is scheduled to leave in three hours." Drake informs us all.

"Shit" Todd yells as he runs out at the room.

"I'll bring the car around." Pennyworth spoke to no one in particular. Drake and Grayson followed him out. Leaving Damian, Damon, and Bruce in the room.

"Father" Damian didn't get to say any more before he was stopped.

"Yes" he answered.

"What? I'm confused. Father"

"Damon you may stay with Damian" he answered "Alfred explained a bit more about the miraculous and spoke fondly of one Duusu."

"So he was a past bird" Damon hummed "that would explain the trace magic on him." His father left and Damian was about to leave when Damon floated in his face "You might want to put on the earrings pup."

"Alright. Wait earrings does that mean" he couldn't help the shock in his voice.

"You need to get your ears pierced" Damon smirked, "seems so."

How can something so cute look so smug at his displeasure.

He could either do it in Paris or here in Gotham. You know what, why prolong the anticipation. So he went to find Todd. Granted he would never have willingly sought him out. But for this he trusted his brother's judgement. Surprisingly Todd didn't make a big deal of it. A quick shout to Pennyworth and they were out of the manor. Within 15 minutes they were in front of a Tattoo Parlor.

"Tt. I said I wanted a piercing, Todd, not a tattoo."

"I remember Demon spawn. You got the earrings."

Damian nodded and they went in. The whole process took about 20 minutes and was relatively painless. He got a double cartilage piercing on his right ear. He was given instructions for care and cleaning and a warning it would be sore for a while.

All in all, Todd isn't always an asshole and gave him some suggestions. Mainly that since he had wanted the cartilage pierced to only do one ear so he could sleep on the other until it is healed.

Back at the manor his bags were already packed. Whether it was Pennyworth or him from this world he didn't know but was grateful. Damon had taken to sleeping and hiding in his jacket pocket.

The airport and flight was uneventful. But it wasn't until they exited the airport when they noticed something was wrong. Well that wasn't hard when there was a giant baby on a rampage. Two figures one in red and one in black made quick work of the giant. A swarm of pink fixed the damage and were gone. Damian looked towards his father and brothers whose expressions mimicked his own shock.

He felt his phone vibrate, signaling a message. He was going to ignore it when he felt Damon poke him.

The message read :

Something is wrong, there are miraculous active.

Once in the hotel Drake went through the records from Paris while father went through the JL system. Damon had taken his phone and seemed to be writing, when he was done he flew over dropped his phone and shot him a smirk but his eyes were calculated.

"Damon" he called but the Kwami gone with only a salute and phased out of the room, so he opened the phone

If I'm not back in an hour get in uniform with the Big Bat and go to the inner floor of the Eiffel tower. I'm going to find the guardian to get a meeting with the heroes. To transform say or mumble 'Damon, Night Terror, to de-transform say 'Day Break' . Your weapons include dual swords and a grappling hook. Your powers allow you to open small pocket dimensions but in battle you can create shadows of yourself and whoever you want. Shadows are corporeal for about five minutes or until they receive enough damage to use it say, 'Shadow Runner'

Delete this.

Damian sighed, erased what was on the unsaved document and closed the application. He went back into the main room to see his Father in a meeting with Wonder Woman, Superman, Flash, and Green Lanterns (Bravo and Foxtrot).

"We need to find out how we can help" Bravo, Hal Jordon, commented.

"All we know is that the miraculous are in play" Batman responded.

"Do we know which ones" Wonder Woman commented.

"Right now no."

"So asking for those of us who don't know, what is a miraculous?" Foxtrot, Jessica Cruz, asked.

"Essentially jewelry, like the lantern rings, but are powered by pocket sized gods"

"Heroes are called Ladybug and Chat Noir" Drake supplied from the other side of the room.

"The Ladybug and Black Cat then. Do we know who they are fighting?" Wonder Woman asked.

At that point in the conversation Damian noticed there was 30 minutes until the meet up so he went to get dressed in his Robin uniform.

"Honestly Bats if you don't like outside heroes in your city. How would they react to outside heroes who have never heard of them?" the Flash made a valid point.

Batman hummed and was going to speak, but Damian beat him.

"Then it is a good thing that Father and I are meeting the heroes in 15 minutes.” By now Damian was standing behind his father in full view of the league members. Everyone stared at him, he was pretty sure Superman was going to say something about his piercing. As the boy scout was pointing to Damian's right where two hammered platinum earrings were.

"Then we will give a report later then." his father signed off and turned to him expectantly.

"Damon" was his response.

'sigh' "Alright lets go."

The two of them slipped out of the hotel and made it to the Eiffel Tower unnoticed. They waited a few minutes until they heard what sounded like a grapple wire and a thump they couldn't place. Two teens no older than him were in front of them. The thump must have come from the baton the blonde boy dressed as a cat in leather was holding. The girl was in a red spotted spandex suit with hair so dark it shone blue.

"Pup" he heard Damon shout before flying over and hanging upside down from his bracer.

"Tt. At least you left a note before zipping off." Robin scolded the kwami.

"Yes and it worked out."

"You didn't know where to start did you?"

"No, but..."

"It worked"

"Exactly"

That was when they noticed the two Parisians laughing and giggling respectively. A small smile, not smirk Damian can tell the difference, played an Batman's lips.

"So Monsieur Robin, you are the pup this one spoke of" Ladybug finally pushed past the giggles.

"Tt. you didn't introduce your self" he scolded yet again.

"Nope" Damon smirked popping the 'P' "that's why I have you pup." he flew up and landed on his head laying down.

"Tt. This" Robin pointed to the crown of his head "is Damon, Kwami of space" said Kwami lifted a paw and dropped it again.

"Why come and offer help now when you hadn't responded to our pleas before." Chat Noir seemed to bite out.

"Damon noticed the miraculous were active so we dug into it." Robin shrugged.

"Because a kwami tells you you believe it, when we have been asking the Justice league for help these past five years." Ladybug tried to remain calm, but there was a hard edge to her voice.

"The aren't any records for Paris from the past five years" Batman stated.

"What!" both Parisians yelled.

A chuckle escaped Damon, as he floated in front of the Parisians. "Its because of you little bug."

"What! I didn't do anything" she shook her head.

"Not consciously. You subconsciously erased those videos to avoid an akuma that was already empowered before turning. The same goes for the news outlets. You are unconsciously restricting the news of akuma to prevent already super powered threats." Damon explained.

"Oh" was spoken so softly Damian saw more than heard her say it.

"Robin why don't you transform and LB can catch Batman up on the situation while we patrol." Chat Noir attempted ease the group of the revelation Damon provided.

He looked to his father who gave him a nod. In a flash of indigo blue he transformed. A charcoal loose shirt, pants, and gloves. Black reinforced boots, vest, and greaves. The vest had a dark blue center, like the boots across the top of the foot. The greaves had a shocking blue cuff matching the blade edges of his twin swords, and the bats on both his boots and belt. A navy blue cape hung at his shoulders ending at his knees was held in place by two shoulder plates. A black mask covered the bottom half of his face, his hair turned midnight blue, and his eyes a haunting icy blue.

"What should we call you?" Ladybug asked him.

"Bat?" he answered slightly unsure.

"Maybe add a descriptor." his father stated a smirk on his face.

"Blue, no Nelly." He decided. "My name is Nelly Bat." His father nodded and Ladybug gave a wave as Chat Noir dragged him away to patrol.

This was shaping up to be an interesting world he fell into.

[chaseatinydream]

sleazy seonghwa who sneezes (i) || p.sh (atz)

➳ pairing: reader x park seonghwa (ateez)

➳ word count: 7146

➳ genre: badboy au; fluff

➳ synopsis: by the intervention of fate (namely Choi San), you see a different side to the school’s resident bad boy that you weren’t aware existed.

>>>

Park Seonghwa is, decidedly, what most of the school population would call a bad boy.

With his jet black lip piercing and dyed blonde hair that is clearly in rebellion against every dress code in school, he’s exactly the sort of boy your parents warn you against. The black leather jacket he wears in place of his uniform tie and blazer doesn’t really help his image at all, and you’re sure you’ve seen him step into school at precisely twelve in the afternoon from the window of your classroom, long after lessons have started.

You’ve known Seonghwa for a long time, since elementary school, back in the days when his hair was still its natural shade of soft ebony and his lips curved up in a soft smile instead of the thin, sharp line it does now. With silent eyes you’ve observed him over the years, watching as the death of his mother struck him as hard as a speeding car and doing a million times the damage, witnessing his transformation from the boy with the cute, candy like smile to the young man with hard, cold eyes and even steelier fists.

A few years, your heart broke for him as you watched him turn away from the light and walk into the shadows without a backwards glance, casting his life away into a hopeless abyss. But as time passed, the memory of that young, lost boy reaching out for his mother’s hand faded, replaced by bruised and bleeding knuckles, split lips and cold eyes.

You had stopped keeping track of how many piercings he’d gotten when you couldn’t count them on your fingers anymore.

Students whisper about him behind closed doors every time he passes them in the corridor, citing unknown sources and rumours about smoking, gang fights, drugs, the usual deal. Girls chatter mindlessly about his good looks, he’s strikingly handsome, you have to admit, but his arctic gaze is enough to keep them at least five feet away. No one dares to cross him, not even the teachers and school authority, and honestly, it’s a miracle he’s still even in this school.

He’s part of a circle of friends the school calls ATEEZ. Their leader, Kim Hongjoong, has kept his mullet for the last three years of high school, completely ignoring the repeated warnings that the school gives him, because who dares to touch him anyway as the eldest son of one of the richest men in Korea? Some you know by face, some by name, but you’ve never met, much less talked to any of them before. Instead, you keep your distance, not wanting to be mixed up in their troubles when they come roaring into school with jet black motorbikes, smirks and bruised fists.

It’s been exactly six years since Seonghwa’s mother passed, and you’re walking to school in the morning. Your earbuds are plugged in, the radio’s on and you’re just listening mindlessly to anything that comes over the station, scrolling through your Instagram feed. Oh. San is considering adopting his third stray cat, the ‘vote yes or no’ option beneath his story.

You click ‘no’, your best friend already has two stray cats and a Shiba Inu in his house, and Shiber is terrified of the felines. It’s a miracle how Shiber even got used to Darong and Puchi, but you doubt that he’ll get used to yet another stray invading his personal territory.

Turning and entering the back gate, you’re stepping across the grounds to your classroom block when your phone suddenly pings with a flurry notifications.

It can only be one person.

[Green Mountain] how could u not let me adopt yobu hes gonna be so sad u know TT

[Green Mountain] retribution on you and your kids and your grandkids and your great grandkids

[Green Mountain] why are we even friends

You roll your eyes, feet crunching on the dry leaves under the soles of your shoes as you type out a reply.

[You] What’s the point of asking for my opinion if you’ve already named him and adopted him San

You’re nearing the back of the school building when you hear a sniffing sound. You pause in your tracks for a moment, wondering if someone is crying from the stress of the exams that are coming in a week, before a soft achoo reaches your ears.

You barely have time to be surprised before the little sneeze is followed by a rapid series of more, each sounding more adorable to your ears than the ones before. There’s another sniffle and a sneeze, and you can’t help your lips curving up in a smile. Perhaps spending too much time around San has made you soft, but you wouldn’t trade him for the world.

You fish out a handkerchief from your pocket, since it’s the first day of the week, you haven’t used it yet. The person behind the noise must have gotten a cold from the chilly autumn weather, so you think they might appreciate the gesture. Stepping up the stairs to your classroom block, you turn the corner around the building with your handkerchief outstretched and a gentle smile already in place.

“Hey, I heard you were sneezing so I thought you might want this...” Your voice trails off as your eyes widen, seeing the infamous Park Seonghwa leaning against the wall, hand over his mouth and nose, your own shock mirrored on his face.

For a moment, the two of you simply stare at each other in stunned silence.

You’ve always admired him in the same way people appreciate statues in art museums, from afar, studying each and every feature but never quite understanding the full story behind the carved jawline, the sculpted nose, the mysterious dark eyes. But this is the first time you’re seeing him up close in the dappled morning rays, someone so far away and untouchable, and you see the flaws that mar what you had once thought was near perfect skin, a bruise at the corner of his mouth, a scrape on his cheekbone, the white scar across his left eyebrow.

His handsome features pinch into a wary scowl when he sees you, straightening up his originally relaxed position against the wall. You’re a little intimidated by his height as he towers over you by at least a head, giving you a dark glare. “Get out of my sight. I don’t need your help-” The words are cut off by a massive sneeze that sends him burying his face in his hands, before he starts hacking furiously, alternating between adorable sneezes and baby-like coughs.

A snort escapes you before you can stop it and he actually pauses to give you a murderous look, right before he goes back to sneezing.

Oh my god, you think in your panic induced haze, he’s going to kill you to stop rumours of his childlike sneeze from spreading around the school.

You fight down the urge to laugh in this terrifying situation, instead focusing on the predicament you’re in. You’re trapped between a rock and a hard place, right before a person with one of the most feared and sordid reputations in the entire school. Give him the handkerchief and risk his anger, or leave without lending him a hand and still perhaps bring his wrath down upon you?

In the end, you simply do what you had set out to do in the first place.

“Here!” You practically shout in his face, trying to muster as much courage as possible so your voice doesn’t tremble, but it betrays you anyway in spite of your efforts. Thrusting the white handkerchief into his hands, you do some sort of awkward bow before the idea can run through your mind fully and your face turns tomato red in embarrassment. “I hope you get better soon!”

And then you spin on your heel and dash into the classroom block before you can die from shame of it all.

“Hey, wait-” Seonghwa calls after you, but you’re already gone, leaving nothing but your white handkerchief in his hand.

“You’re late today.” San remarks in a surprised voice when you slide into the seat next to his, panting for air from your little dash to class.

“I was lending someone a handkerchief. And you’re early.” You turn to the window, making a big show of searching the sky. “I don’t see any pigs, falling or flying… so I must be dreaming.”

“Well, I had to come early to school so my chauffeur could fetch Yobu back to the mansion for me.” Your best friend remarks with a shrug, and a silly, goofy smile crosses his face for a moment at the thought of the adorable one eared ragdoll cat. “I couldn’t leave him waiting here in the cold.”

“I swear the reason all these cats relate so much to you is because of this.” You tug at the thick leather choker resting against his throat, fingers brushing the cool metal of the round, silver studs on it. “If we just add a bell to this, you might as well be an actual cat, Sanie.”

Your best friend merely grins, cocking his head to the side as he looks at you expectantly. “And I suppose that’s…?”

Laughing, you pull a small cardboard box from your school bag, opening it and presenting it to San proudly. It’s a small silver bell, one that reminds you of one on a cat’s collar. The moment you had laid eyes on it at the mall, you had known it would be perfect for him. You gesture for his arm and he stretches it out to you with an amused smile on his face, your fingers fiddling with the friendship bracelet on his wrist. Undoing the clasp, you slide the silver piece onto the bracelet with nimble fingers where it rests next to the Siamese cat charm, the bell making a soft jingling sound.

“Ooh, pretty!” San inspects it with shining eyes, smiling broadly at you. He then takes out his own box, a red jewelry affair with the name of some expensive brand stamped on the lid in bright silver. Your breath catches in your throat as you catch a glimpse of it, the box is probably worth more than the entire charm you bought San.

“Sanie, you know I don’t like it when you buy me stuff like that…”

Your best friend pauses in opening the box, mouth turning down in a sad frown as he looks at you with earnest eyes. “But I want to do it for you. You’re my best friend, and I want to spend my money on you to show you how important you are to me.” You waver at his words, heart sinking as you feel like you’re making use of him for his wealth. But you know San is determined, and besides, he’s already bought the charm, so you sigh and try to fix him with a stern gaze.

“This is the last time, alright?”

San’s face cheers up in a split second.

“Alright!” He whoops, putting the charm of a Norwegian Forest Cat on your bracelet. It feels heavy, probably made of silver and custom made to boot. It’s been your tradition for the last two years of school. Every day, on the first day of a new semester, the two of you had promised to buy each other a charm to celebrate your friendship. Somehow, every charm the two of you had bought for you had ended up being some breed of cat, so you suppose that you’ve broken tradition for the first time today by giving him a bell instead. When San fixes the clasp of your bracelet, he grins at you and pats you on the head.

“There, that wasn’t so difficult, was it?”

You kick him in the shin. “I said this is the last time, you goof. Don’t go getting any ideas.”

San pouts at you, shaking his head so that his dark brown hair falls into his eyes, showing off the red streaks in them. Your eyes widen in alarm and smack him on the arm as he lounges back in his chair casually, placing his booted feet on the table. “I thought I told you to get rid of those last week before school started!”

Your best friend whistles cheerily, feigning ignorance. “I promised nothing.”

San, for all the adorableness he holds, is too, part of ATEEZ. A certified bad boy, a definite troublemaker. Everything on him, from the designer white shirt with scrawled designs all over it to the multiple silver piercings in his ears to the striking red coat he has slung over his chair, screams rebel in response to every dress code in existence. San rebels, but he at least does it with style.

On the first day of school when the two of you been assigned to seats next to each other in class, the very first thing he’d done upon meeting you was to rip off his tie and declare to you loudly about how the colour scheme of the tie was absolutely hideous when matched with the shade of the blazer. He had then proceeded to rant to you all about the material of the blazer and the undershirt, and you don’t think you’ve seen him in uniform since that day.

Well, you suppose he knows what he’s talking about, considering that he’s the heir to one of the biggest fashion conglomerates in the country. Besides, you’ve stolen that red coat more times you can count on cold days and it often spends the night over at your house when San makes you wear it home.

“What kind of name for a cat is Yobu, though?” You ask San, shaking your head at him as the teacher walks into the classroom. He simply grins at you, tweaking one of his many earrings with amusement.

“A friend of mine chose it-” He begins to explain excitedly, but then your teacher clears her throat in front of the two of you hesitantly and San’s expression darkens, looking up to glance at her as if she’s a pesky fly he’d like to smack. The teacher’s face drains of colour.

“What is it, Ms Kim?” His voice is dripping with venom and you feel your face flush at his bad attitude. You tug on his ear and he yelps in pain, turning back to pout at you.

“Ow! Why are you bullying me?” San sulks like a little kid and you can’t help but swat at his arm. The teacher, drawing a little courage from seeing San being steamrolled into submission by you, pipes up.

“Mr Choi… you’re not supposed to be sitting there-”

That’s her mistake.

San’s eyes turn glacial as he turns to face her slowly, gazing down his nose at her imperiously, dangerously like a cobra waiting to strike. San isn’t loud and quick to anger like some of his other friends are, but he’s no less dangerous with that vicious, poisonous mind of his. The teacher falls silent immediately, none of the other students willing to help her out lest they get on his bad side.

“I’ve said it at the beginning of term and I’ll say it again.” San enunciates every word slowly and precisely, his dark gaze never wavering from the teacher’s eyes. You can almost imagine it, a monstrous serpent like aura looming behind your best friend, frightening everyone before him into submission. You’ve never been on the receiving end of his gaze, but you hear people describing the experience to be akin to staring down the barrel of a gun. “I’m sitting besides her and no one else. Did you not hear me the first time?”

“Mr Choi, I’m just doing my job-”

“Do. You. Understand.”

His last words are nothing like a question, instead carrying a more mocking tone. The threat is like a loaded gun, the bullet unseen and hidden in the chambers of the weapon, but the finger is already resting on the trigger, eager to fire. Your teacher pales at his words, fingers trembling against her binder.

You feel bad for her, so you gently tug at San’s sleeve, pulling his razor sharp gaze away from your teacher. “Hey, San, I’m not going anywhere. How about you start thinking about ways we can get Shiber to warm up to Yobu when we go over to your house later while I have lessons?”

His face brightens right away, the icy look melting right off like snow in the summer at the thought of Yobu and Shiber playing together. “Of course! Why didn’t I think about that?” Pulling a piece of paper from your bag, he swipes one of the pens off your table and begins jotting down ideas and names of cat treats. His attention off the teacher, the entire classroom heaves a simultaneous sigh of relief.

Your teacher takes five minutes to calm her racing heart before the lesson begins.

Seonghwa sits at the bench at the school gates, waiting for the rest of his friends.

Golden and red leaves spiral through the air, caught and tossed around by the autumn winds as they flutter to the ground like clipped butterfly wings. They fall to the ground, devoid of the green freshness of spring, dead and utterly lifeless. He remembers the limp hand of his mother, her fair skin drenched in crimson lifeblood, the drunk driver having crashed right into the side of his mother’s car as she returned home from buying him supper. She’d died on the spot, right before any the ambulances and paramedics arrived.

His fingers curl around the dry maple leaves, crushing them and scattering them with the wind. He hates the autumn. All it brings is death and pain.

“Hyung!”

He’s pulled from his thoughts and turns around to see three of the five 99’ liners stepping out of the school gates, arms slung over each other’s shoulders. A smile crosses his face briefly. No matter how terrifying of an image he might have to others, he has a soft spot for the rest of the boys in ATEEZ. All of them have stuck together through thick and thin, supporting each other no matter the struggle, Wooyoung through his addiction and Jongho through his fits of violent rage, Hongjoong with his familial conflicts at home and so much more. They’re like family to him, he briefly wonders, before his eyes darken at the thought of his drunken father back in the house they share.

He forces the thought from his mind, instead looking upon his friends’ faces, frowning in confusion.

“Why are you smiling so much, Sanie?”

The boy in question merely grins wider, tucking his hands into his pockets as he dodges a kick Wooyoung aims at him. “Wooyoungie tripped on Mingi’s shoe and fell down the stairs earlier.”

Mingi stifles a laugh at Wooyoung’s flat expression.

The sleeves of San’s white shirt are rolled up, showing the cat charm bracelet dangling from his wrist. The silver bits and bobs usually tinkle and jingle, letting everyone in the area that San is coming, but today, the sound seems to be especially prominent. Seonghwa’s eyes rake over the charms, counting five, six, seven…

He spots a silver cat bell dangling at the end.

“Did you get a new charm, San?” Seonghwa asks, curious and San nods proudly, preening in front of his hyung. The bell jingles once more, as if showing off to Seonghwa.

“She got it for me!” He smiles widely, stuffing his hand back into his pocket. San doesn’t need to say who it is for Seonghwa to know. Aside from ATEEZ, San has no friends… except a mysterious girl that San doesn’t want mixed up in their business.

“Can’t have Wooyoung seducing her from me.” He’d joked once, to Wooyoung’s not so amused amusement.

But Seonghwa can understand why San wouldn’t want his friend to be associated with them. From the way San speaks about her ever so often, she seems to be a quiet, mild tempered girl who focuses hard on her studies and can even miraculously convince San to revise for the upcoming exams with her in the school library. Being related to them in any way could stain her pristine reputation, make it difficult for her to attain any student leadership positions in the school that were vital to a portfolio, or even make any friends in general.

Honestly, Seonghwa doesn’t know why she would stick with San.

But San is happy when he speaks about her. He’s clearly fond of her, he’d even dragged all of them to search for a suitable charm for her birthday gift.

Then a ticklish feeling rises in his nose and he pulls the handkerchief from his pocket, sneezing into it. He doesn’t want to admit it, but the piece of white cloth has saved him so many trips to the convenience store nearby to buy a pack of tissue. Looking down on it, he sighs as he looks the handkerchief over. It’s a piece of plain white cloth, without embellishment or embroidery, nothing outstanding to set it apart from others physically, but unique, because it was there for him when he needed it. Just like the girl who’d given it to him, he thinks to himself with another sigh, wondering how exactly he’s going to find her and return the handkerchief to her.

He doesn’t remember much about how she looks, having been trying to stop himself from sneezing in front of her when she’d literally thrown the handkerchief in his face and shouted at him to get better, before she dashed away faster than Usain Bolt on steroids.

Honestly, who still uses handkerchiefs in this day and age?

“Did you catch a cold, hyung?” Ever perceptive Wooyoung asks curiously, before spotting the handkerchief in his hand. “I didn’t know you used handkerchiefs, though.”

For some reason, something in his voice is completely judgemental and even though Seonghwa feels the same, he can’t help but feel like he needs to defend the girl who gave it to him, at least. Then he catches himself, frowning. Wooyoung’s too curious for his own good, tell him a little and the he’ll have her name, class, blood type, age, address, favourite food down to a tee tomorrow.

Besides, Seonghwa wants to do this by himself.

So Seonghwa shakes his head.

“It’s not mine. A girl gave it to me in the morning, but I don’t know who it was. I owe her a word of thanks, at least.”

Mingi raises an eyebrow, teeth fiddling with the silver piercing on his lower left lip absentmindedly. “Someone approached you, hyung?’ He sounds as confused as Seonghwa feels.

Curious, San glances over at the piece of white cloth for a moment, staring blankly. Then something in his dark eyes glint minutely, the side of his lip quirking up in amusement. Is it fate?

A thought forms and the cogs of his mind start turning, building upon that wisp of a thought until it turns into an idea, then a plan. Seonghwa catches sight of the little smirk on San’s face and frowns in confusion, opening his mouth to ask the younger boy exactly what he’s thinking. He’s a little afraid when San smiles like that. It usually means he’s up to no good.

“San, what is it?”

But San shrugs playfully, eyes shining with glee.

“Oh, it’s absolutely nothing, hyung.”

Seonghwa’s been searching for you for a week now.

For the first time, he actually attends school regularly even if it isn’t to go to class. Standing at the main gate at the crack of dawn, his eyes rake the faces of the students who walk into school every morning. All of them give him a wide berth, wearing the same terrified, yet befuddled expressions, similarly confused as why to the one of school’s bad boys would actually be in the school compound before the bell rings.

Regularly, at that.

About fifteen minutes before the bell rings, he hears the familiar thrum of an engine and raises his head to glance at the driveway outside. Just as he does, a sleek black Jaguar purrs into sight, coming to a stop. It’s presence still causes the same ripple of excitement and anticipation as it did three years ago, and Seonghwa can see all the students in the front yard of the school whispering behind their hands as they discuss the boy inside, wondering whether he’s going to abide by the school rules for once.

The driver, dressed impeccably as ever in a black, custom tailored suit and white gloves, crosses over to the passenger’s side and opens the door for the person inside with a deep bow.

“Young master.”

Kim Hongjoong, eldest son to the CEO of one of the most powerful business empires in Korea and probably the world, steps out with a yawn, rubbing at his eyes as if he’s still half asleep. Then he turns to the chauffeur, who Seonghwa recognises now as Hongjoong’s personal assistant and bodyguard, and gives him a nod.

“Thank you, Jaebeom.”

Jaebeom falters momentarily, head rising a little as he looks at his master. “Young master, you know your father does not like it when you thank me… I am a mere household servant-”

“Who gives a damn what that old fart wants?” Hongjoong grabs his bag from the backseat, adjusting the silver beads and tags in his mullet. “I’ll see you later, Jae.”

The chauffeur can’t exactly argue with his employer, so he merely sighs a little and nods, bowing once more. “As you wish, young master.”

Seonghwa watches quietly as the car zips off down the street.

“Still here, Mars?” His best friend steps up next to him, bag casually slung over one shoulder as he quirks a brow, showing off the eyebrow slit at the side. Seonghwa lets his face relax into a small smile, adjusting the collar of his maroon turtleneck.

“Yeah.”

Hongjoong merely sighs in exasperation, waving his phone in hand. “You know, like I told you at the beginning of all this nonsense, I could have just given Jaebeom a ring and you would have your mystery girl’s identity in a folder on your lap within ten minutes. It would have included handphone number, siblings, hospital records and financial accounts and you wouldn’t be standing here like some lovesick goof every morning.”

Seonghwa doesn’t take any offense to his friend’s barbed words, knowing they stem from genuine concern for him. In fact, Hongjoong only uses his glib tongue and charisma when it comes to charming people into doing things that he wants. He’s not quite as skilled a manipulator as Wooyoung, who can puppet any person like a marionette on strings, but then again few are.

Seonghwa prefers it when Hongjoong takes on this tone with him. It’s more casual, more informal and Seonghwa doesn’t feel like he’s at risk of being played. When he speaks like that, he’s not the heir of the Kim Corporation, Kim Hongjoong, but instead he’s just Hongjoong, Seonghwa’s best friend.

“You know why I want to do this myself.” Seonghwa says softly and Hongjoong pauses a moment, because he does. He understands all too well just having everything presented to him on a silver platter with a golden spoon, not having to put in effort for any of it. Things lose their value that way, and he knows Seonghwa is determined not to let this happen.

Hongjoong merely sighs as he glances at the white handkerchief in Seonghwa’s hand.

“Well, I doubt anyone’s coming in now, it’s pretty late.” He tells Seonghwa, who nods and tucks the neatly folded cloth in his pocket. “Let’s get to class.”

San calls you at approximately five in the morning. On a Saturday morning, in fact.

Groaning as you roll over in your bed, you reach for your phone, the silver cat charms clicking against the screen as you put it to your ear. You’re thinking of a hundred and one ways to slowly butcher him and rip him into tiny little pieces when his cheerful voice comes over the phone. “Hey, my dear best friend, what are you doing up so early in the morning?”

A growl tears from your throat. “It’s 5:16 AM, Choi San. If you don’t have a good reason for waking me up at this time of the morning I’m coming over to your house, I’m going to rip out your throat and I’m going to steal Shiber from you.”

A horrified squeal comes over the phone. “Don’t steal Shiber!”

You almost sigh at how he completely missed out the ‘I’m going to tear your throat out’ bit, but you pinch the bridge of your nose in exasperation, sitting up on your bed as the blanket falls to your lap. “What is it, San? If you tell me now that you want to watch reruns of the Golden Girls at this time of the morning, I’m going to strangle you in your sleep.”

“Oooh, kinky.” San whistles and you groan, smacking your head against the bedside table. Murder does really seem to be a tempting option now.

“Choi San I swear if you do not give me a good reason right now I’m going back to sleep-” You begin but then San cuts in more quickly than a swerving F1 racer.

“No no no, please don’t! Well, you see, one of the maids back at my house just told me that Yobu fell sick and needs to see a vet, but none of them are open at this time of the morning.”

Your jaw drops at the news, heart thundering in your chest. “I can’t believe you wasted all my time talking nonsense when Yobu was ill! What are we going to do, San?” You’re honestly worried for that sweet mannered ragdoll cat, fingers drumming anxiously against the table when San continues.

“But I have a friend knows about veterinary medicine since he works part time at a vet, so could you please bring Yobu to him? I’ve already told him that you’re coming.”

Something strikes you as odd and your eyes narrow suspiciously. “San… why can’t you just bring Yobu there yourself?”

“Ahh…” You hear your best friend falter a little over the phone and from the sheepish tone in his voice, he’s up to something again. You’re about to question him when you suddenly realise that there’s the thumping of the bass in the background, synthesizers screaming and the sound of drunken singing. Your heart falls.

“You’re in a club, aren’t you?”

San pauses uncomfortably. You’ve made it clear multiple times that you don’t approve of his partying lifestyle, but you’ve also told him that it’s his life and he needs to make choices for himself. “Yeah… “ His voice is soft over the phone, but then it tries to cheer you up a little. “I swear I didn’t even drink a lot! I’m not even drunk right now! I just came for a bit of booze and the atmosphere.”

At that, your smile softens a little. You know that San is desperately trying to change his ways, but it’s only the beginning, the first step of a long journey. “I know. Be back before sunrise, okay? Stay safe and don’t make me worry about you.”

You can hear San’s smile over the phone. “I promise. Now then, I’m leaving our child in your hands, alright?”

You’ve barely agreed when the call ends, the beeping of the phone all that’s left of your conversation.

You’re standing outside an apartment building at seven.

Yobu lets out a little mrrow from the basket under your arm and you stroke him on the head gently, checking the address on your phone. He looks perfectly fine to you, but then again you’re no doctor. Glancing at the block number and the unit, you’re indeed at San’s friend’s house. What friend, you have no idea, but you really need to get Yobu checked up as fast as possible.

Stepping up to the door, you press the bell once.

There’s an electronic warble and some shifting coming from behind the closed door. “Wait a moment, please-” You hear and you frown, the voice sounds male and vaguely familiar, as if you’ve heard it before. But before you can remember where, the door swings open to reveal the resident of the house.

You nearly drop Yobu in your shock.

You’re so going to murder San in his sleep.

Because it’s Park Seonghwa standing there, blonde hair mussed from sleep, dressed in a soft grey sweater and sweats, staring back at you with equally wide eyes. No leather jacket, no silver chains around his neck, simple black piercings in his ears. To your surprise, he looks soft as a kitten, not at all like that bad boy image you’re so used to seeing in school.

You glance down at his feet. He’s wearing freaking Gundam cartoon themed socks.

“Mrrow…” Yobu meows plaintively from his basket, as if demanding for the two of you to stop staring at each other and get a move on. That’s enough to jerk Seonghwa out of his shock and he opens the door a bit wider to let you in. “Uhh, please come in.”

You do as you’re told, slipping your shoes off at the door and stepping inside. The house is surprisingly bare, a pair of folded mattresses against against the wall and a lumpy couch in the corner. There’s a vet’s bag on the floor, stethoscope already laid out. You glance to the shelf at to your left as you set Yobu down on the ground, there’s a picture of a woman who you assume to be Seonghwa’s mother, and next to that is a collection of assembled Gundam models.

It seems as if someone is a fan.

You’re briefly afraid if something bad is going to happen to you when Park Seonghwa closes the door behind you, but as much as San enjoys playing pranks on you, he’s never one to put you in danger. Seonghwa sit down before you, cross legged, looking painfully awkward for the first time you’ve seen him.

“Umm… Hi…” He greets you softly and you stiffen to attention, Yobu curling in your arms and you hesitantly stroke the tiny cat gently. “So… Yobu is sick?”

Your eyes widen a little in surprise. “You know Yobu?”

Seonghwa nods slowly. “Yeah well… I was the one who named him.” He holds out his hands for the grey ragdoll, looking at you hesitantly while you’re still staring at him in shock from this unexpected information. His tongue darts out to wet his lower lip nervously, dragging across the black piercing there. “May I?’

You somehow regain enough cognitive function to place Yobu into his arms, the small feline nosing into Seonghwa’s chest and he lets out a gentle laugh, nuzzling the kitten with his nose. “Let’s see what’s wrong with you, little guy.”

Your mind is still reeling from all of… this. From what you know, Park Seonghwa is a mysterious bad boy who is a member of a terrifying group called ATEEZ that your best friend also happens to be part of. But even after knowing San for three years, he’s never really exposed you to any of his other friends, so you still steer clear of them whenever you see them in school.

But this Park Seonghwa before you is looking at the tiny kitten like it holds the moon and stars in its tiny paws, humming a soft tune under his breath as he reaches for his stethoscope. He’s nothing like the Park Seonghwa you’re familiar with, bruised fingers gentle as he checks over Yobu for any physical ailments, cooing to the cat in a sweet voice when it attempts to squirm out of his arms occasionally. You usually never say this… but you’re quite mindblown.

“There doesn’t seem to be anything wrong with him.” Seonghwa muses after a while, setting his tools down. You’re jerked out of your stunned stupor, letting out a witty ‘eh?’ as he puts Yobu down on the ground, the kitten batting at his sweater sleeve with its paws.

Seonghwa tugs his lip piercing between his teeth and for a second, you’re raising your eyes to heaven to ask exactly what you have done to deserve this punishment, but then he’s speaking once more. “I don’t see anything wrong with Yobu… He seems perfectly fine. Did San mention anything?”

You shake your head. “No, San just told me to bring Yobu over to you.”

“That’s odd…” Seonghwa frowns, fingers fiddling with the piercings on the shell of his ear before he lets out a sigh, rising to his feet. You keep your remark of ‘yeah, that sounds like San’ to yourself as you follow him with your eyes, watching as he steps over to the shelf, opening one of the drawers. “Anyway, I’m glad you came. I’ve been looking for you for a couple of weeks now.”

You pause, a little confused. Looking for you? What would the Park Seonghwa be searching for a person like you?

When he turns around, he’s holding your white handkerchief in his hands.

The two week old memory comes to the front of your mind and your mouth falls open. You remember walking to school, hearing someone sniffing quietly behind the school building, offering them a handkerchief… only for the person to be the one and only Park Seonghwa.

“Ahh…” Is all you manage to say, a little stunned as you accept the handkerchief back. It smells of clean cloth and soap that you don’t quite recognise, meaning that Seonghwa must have cleaned it for you. “You didn’t have to, but thank you anyway.”

Seonghwa shakes his head firmly as Yobu paws at the hem of his sweats, whining for attention. “No, I needed to. Thank you for lending it to me. I really appreciate it… could I repay you somehow? Maybe bring you out for a meal tomorrow?”

Your brain hits the brakes, all activity coming to a screeching halt as the words ‘meal’, ‘tomorrow’ and ‘repay’ bounce around your head like rubber balls. Thankfully, you’re saved from having to answer from the sound of your ringtone, although the second you hear it, you’re tempted to kill San right this second, and maybe yourself too, to save yourself the shame.

“You have a call! You have a call! Hey! Answer it! Don’t ignore me! Pleaseeee~” San’s voice comes from your pocket and you freeze in embarrassment, as Seonghwa stares at you in shock.

Your face turns red and you rush to answer the call, cheeks heating up in horrified mortification. Jabbing the little green icon with as much fury as you can muster, you hiss into the phone when the call comes through.

“What the hell did you do to my phone, San?”

“Hello! How’s my dear Yobu doing?” He sings, completely ignoring your furious question. You pause in your tracks, wheels turning in your mind as you put all the clues together. His too cheerful voice, the handkerchief, how he didn’t tell you Seonghwa was this veterinarian friend…

“Choi San.” Your voice is literally bubbling with mounting vexation and your rage must be clearly heard, because there’s a gulp over the phone. “Did you plan all of this?”

The line goes dead and you stare at your phone in shock.

Then you shriek in fury.

“I’m going to kill that slimy worm! That little bastard! Playing me like this!” Your fists are clenching around your phone, dearly wishing they were wringing San’s scrawny neck instead. You’re about to throw something when a warm hand settles on your shoulder and you whirl around in shock, suddenly remembering that Seonghwa is still in the room with you.

“Is everything alright?” He asks hesitantly, dark eyes wide and concerned and your rage dissipates into thin air, replaced by all too potent self-consciousness. He’d just seen you screaming your head off like a mad woman, for god’s sake.

“Yeah...I’m just going to have to kill that bastard the next time I see him.” You mumble under your breath, turning your phone to silent before savagely shoving it in your pocket. “Yobu is fine, San just played a massive prank on us.”

To your surprise, Seonghwa doesn’t even react in the least, clearly expecting something like this after having known San for so long. He merely presses one hand to his face as he shakes his head in exasperation. “I knew something was up when he was smiling so much that day. That kid, honestly…”

“Sorry for the bother.” You apologise quickly, scooping up Yobu in your arms and placing him in his basket. The ragdoll lets out a soft meow, as if confused as to why you’re leaving so soon when you practically run for the door in shame. But right before you can leave, Seonghwa’s hand grasps your wrist lightly, pulling you back, and you make a soft ‘eep’ in surprise as you turn to face him.

He actually looks painfully nervous, teeth toying with the black piercing on his lower lip as his gaze moves around shiftily, his toes scrunching up under Robot Man’s face. “Well… will you… will you let me bring you for dinner tomorrow? To thank you?”

You freeze awkwardly, the tension between the two of you thick as sauna steam. After a long, awkward pause of silence, Seonghwa finally seems to realise he’s holding onto your wrist and drops it like you have the plague, scooting back several steps to a more respectful distance. His tongue swipes across his pink lips shyly as he musters up the courage to speak again. “Please? I mean, if you’re uncomfortable, you don’t need to, I completely understand-”

You’re snapped out of your lip piercing induced shock when you finally realise that Seonghwa thinks that you’re reluctant to go with him. Not that you aren’t slightly… but maybe it’s time to give San’s friends a chance and get to know them. From what you’ve seen of Seonghwa, he doesn’t seem that bad to you anyway.

Awkwardly, you unlock your phone and pass it to him.

His eyes widen in surprise when he sees a blank contact open, the tiny line hovering at the ‘Name’ bar. Then a smile, one real and genuine, settles on his face as he enters his name and phone number, saving it before he passes it back to you.

“I’ll call you?” He asks as you slip on your shoes, balancing Yobu’s basket in one hand and your phone in the other. You nod in reply, a little breathless from his radiant smile.

“Yeah.”

From the basket, Yobu gives a smug mew of affirmation. His mission is complete.