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thenationaltreasuregazette · 1 year

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Abigail’s Accent: Diane Kruger and the Art of Accidental Nuance

While I consider myself something of a connoisseur of National Treasure, my expertise does not extend behind the scenes. Other than the DVD special features, I’ve never dug into the production realities of the film. (Yet.)

So I don’t know for certain what led Disney to cast Diane Kruger in the role of Dr. Abigail Chase. I can speculate, though, that her casting was an attempt to draw European audiences to an obviously America-centric film (even more-so than your average Hollywood fare). Kruger is hugely famous in Europe, where she stars in English-, French-, and German-language films. Damn girl.

While the powers that be might have been trying to boost their European box office, I don’t think they were intending to add an entire thematic subplot to the film, especially not one so tailor-made to flesh out the story’s existing themes.

But they did.

Because Diane Kruger has a slight but noticeable accent, this scene had to be written into the film:

—Please don’t touch that!

I don’t know for certain that’s how this scene came about, but I’d be willing to bet on it.

My main evidence is that Abigail’s heritage doesn’t play any other significant role in the story. Unlike, for example, Indiana Jones falling for the hot blonde Ph.d. with a German accent in The Last Crusade, Abigail being born outside of the United States has 0% bearing on the plot. National Treasure never asks us (or Ben) to question Abigail’s loyalty or ability to complete the treasure hunt because of her background. And thank god, cuz that would have sucked.

Like, the Abigail wasn’t written as a German-American character. You don’t purposefully write the Conservator of the Declaration of Independence as someone born outside the U.S. and then just…not follow up on it. Not in Screenplay Land. That kind of creative alchemy that only happens when you go to cast the movie.

In any other role I doubt they would have felt the need to mention it, but yeah, the audience might be wondering why the woman in charge of the Declaration of Independence has a German accent. So the movie hangs a lampshade on it by pointing it out as soon as we meet her. Basically, by calling out something that might interfere with the audience’s willing suspension of disbelief, the narrative is able to say, Yes, we see it too. Let’s move on. In National Treasure, Abigail’s introduction signals to the audience that they don’t need to keep track of her background as a plot point for later.

And I am oh so glad this scene exists, because it gives us two things the film wouldn’t have had otherwise: banter and subtext.

First, it gives us a delightful bit of banter between the three main characters that the film wouldn’t have slowed down long enough to allow if it hadn’t needed to. Even if similar dialogue had been in the script, it would have been cut somewhere between the draft and the final film. It’s just not necessary.

The common screenwriting maxim “come late, leave early” recommends entering a scene at the last possible moment (while still getting all the drama and information), and leaving as soon as the best stuff is over. Doing this helps keep a story moving and discourages movies from getting bogged down in unneeded pleasantries. Every moment should be conveying something crucial to the audience.

And because we have to hang this lampshade on Diane Kruger’s accent, this banter becomes crucial information. Dollars to donuts, a pre-Kruger version of this scene would have jumped right into the problem at hand: Hi hot lady, nice GW buttons; will you let us see the Declaration? Instead, the characters get to breathe for a moment, and we see all of their personalities come out.

Ben is eternally curious, not just about history, but about Abigail as well. He has yet to realize that she is a kindred spirit or someone willing(ish) to help them save the Declaration, and yet he’s already fascinated by her. The fact that his first guess is Pennsylvania Dutch speaks to his love of American history, and the people who make it up, but I really love how his immediate interest in Abigail isn’t related to the Declaration at all. It’s not even really about history; it’s about her. This sets a foundation for their soon-to-be-budding romance that is rooted in more than the adventure they’re about to go on together. Ben doesn’t have to ask about her accent for the purposes of saving the Declaration; he simply wants to know.

Riley is immediately skeptical. He is the foil to Ben’s curiosity, reeling him back and asking the practical questions like, Are you sure you want to be doing this? or What about prison? Ben’s curiosity seemed to be sated when he got his answer. He only wanted to know what Abigail’s accent was; he doesn’t seem to wonder why she has one. It’s Riley, resident skeptic (and conspiracy theorist), who asks the followup question: [You’re in charge of the Declaration of Independence but] you’re not American?

Abigail is clear and decisive. She leans right into Ben’s curiosity both literally and figuratively: she leans toward him when she answers, and gives a response she’s certainly given hundreds of time as if it’s their fun little secret. At the same time, she isn’t afraid to shut Riley down. Where her response to Ben’s question is playful, her reply to Riley is firm and even a bit worn; this is certainly not the first time she’s been asked where she’s from. And as the scene continues she’s not afraid to snap at Ben for touching her things and tell them both off for wasting her time. However, that initial note of curiosity continues to shine through, even as the guys’ story gets wilder and wilder.

Second though, this scene introduces an element of thematic nuance that I just don’t see the movie asking in any other context.

The questions at the core of National Treasure are not especially deep. As a whole, the thematic questions the movie asks run along the lines of:

How far would you go to find the truth?

What would you risk to protect something precious?

What if you believed in something no one else did?

And of course let’s not forget National Treasure’s key ingredient:

Wouldn’t that be fucking cooooool?

These are perfectly serviceable themes to create an over-the-top action romp. After all, this four-quadrant Disney blockbuster isn’t really looking to challenge its audience.

Then we have this scene, which asks questions more like:

What does it mean to be an American?

Who do we consider American, and particularly “American enough” to be in charge of our founding documents?

And while I think it’s an absolute crime that we don’t get to learn any more about Abigail in the sequel, I do think not bringing up her backstory any more in this movie was the right choice. In doing so, the film provides an answer to its own question: Abigail is American. It doesn’t matter where she was born, how she came to be here, or which way she got her citizenship. Of course she’s a high-ranking conservator at the National Archives. Of course she’s in charge of the Declaration of Independence. Of course she’s willing to put her life on the line to save the it multiple times.

By casting Diane Kruger, but not dwelling on Abigail’s background, National Treasure accidentally makes a much more inclusive argument for what it means to be American than it probably had any intention of doing. Abigail was born outside the United States. She has a noticeable accent and English almost certainly wasn't her first language. And yet she's an American history dork who can go toe-to-toe with Ben Gates. She's literally in charge of the Declaration of Independence.

By whatever twists of fate, capitalism, and casting, the Dr. Abigail Chase we see in the film is a walking symbol of a certain kind of America—one that welcomes and accepts. One where anyone can become a lover of and expert in our history, and even a part of it. For as much as we love to talk about American's immigrant narrative, we don't often depict this particular aspect of it on screen, especially not in a role like this. Especially not in a film like this.

And while that is definitely not the only America—like, yikes, definitely not—it is the America that Ben Gates, and National Treasure, believe in.

So, there you go.

Abigail's casting adds a level of depth to the story, a small hint of subtext that the movie absolutely did not need to function, and yet it’s all the richer for it.

We absolutely can and should talk about nationalism, the uncomplicated veneration of America’s founding fathers, and how race is portrayed in the film at some point, but that is not this.

#national treasure #the national treasure gazette #national treasure meta #ben gates #abigail chase #riley poole #diane kruger #articles

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blackgumball · 10 months

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whats ur thoughts on toh? out of pure curiosity

aaaaaaalright so. the short of it is that s1 was mid, s2 was pretty great imo, and s3 SUCKED.

the long of it is that when i found out Dana Terrace was making a cartoon, I was excited. I admired her work on GF (which changed my life when I first saw it), and was looking forward to the Owl House.

when I started watching it, I figured it just wasn't my style. I had graduated high school found that i wasn't really into the 'school' element of stories anymore (which I remember hearing that Dana herself not being too interested in as well, but execs forced the crews hand). I also just don't care about witches very much. Luz didn't move me in any particular direction, nor did Eda. The animation was cute at points. I would say the best ting about the first season was the fight scenes, specifically the ones between Eda and Lilith. other than that the show was just fine.

season two. I loved season two. I thought it got a million times better. they introduced Hunter, who was probably my favourite character in the show, the stakes got higher, as did the quality of the storylines and arcs. I don't know! the show just became so exciting to watch. I had to drag myself through the first season but I was locked in on season 2 and very excited whenever new episodes were coming out.

so natch this is when disney decides to cut their legs out from under them.

look a huge part of me feels horrible for the cast and crew of the owl house. they had a decently popular narrative show that was being talked about WEEKLY and that still wasn't enough to save them from the axe.

so unfortunately I was watching rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles at around the same time I was watching the owl house. these shows were both canceled before they really got to end their narratives, and were given a shorter season/tv movie to wrap things up. I might've been 100x more forgiving to the owl house if rottmnt didn't EXCEL. granted, they're very different kinds of show, but rise really used what it had and made a heartfelt ending that insinuated the continuing adventures of the turtles. It really fucking worked (i love rise, everybody go watch rise)

so owl house gets three forty minute episodes to end its story, and the crew promised that just because they were short on time doesn't mean the show would be any worse. and I believed them.

the problem was, everything they chose to focus on in these episodes felt like the wrong choice.

so, context. the villain of the show since season one has been Emperor Belos. he's this big, creepy looking fascist dictator who wants everybody to be learning ONE kind of magic. he gives people special tattoos on the inside of their forearms to make sure they can't use more than one (which draws some uncomfortable parrallels to the holocaust considering we learn that belos wants to commit genocide against the witches)

so that's our villain but at the end of season two a new villain is introduced. a little creepy jester God Baby (heretofore known as GodBaby.) GodBaby wants to play. GodBaby destroys belos in one fell swoop and literally kills all the tension of the season two finally with a twitch of his finger, then GodBaby enslaves the planet as his playthings. Luz and her friends escape to the human world, but find they can't return.

When they DO return to the human world, they literally just explain to GodBaby that you have to ASK if people want to play with you and GodBaby immediately stops being the villain. The villain is now, again, Belos, who has been crawling around as a rather pathetic piles of deer shaped goo. There's your narrative context.

I found this was a huge waste of tension. they destroyed their villain, taking away all his credibility, his power, everything that makes him threatening to introduce this NEW guy, the new guy is convinced to the good side in a four minute conversation, all so you can bring this entirely non-threatening guy back for five seconds. this might have been alright if it didn't take place over the course of two and a half episodes. it wasnt DRAMATIC nor was it SATISFYING.

so that's the villains, now for the protagonists. Willow and Gus, our two side characters of colour, are underfocused on (as they have been throughout the entire show). Hunter, my favourite character, has basically the entire first episode dedicated to his suffering. i guess im biased cause I love that kid, but forty minutes of him getting infected with UncleGoop, slowly becoming paranoid and losing his mind, and then turning into some kinda (POORLY DESIGNED) deer beast, and then trying to KILL HIMSELF and THEN his first friend and beloved pet bird sacrificing itself to save his life..... hoooooooooooo. it was farrrrr too fucking much in my opinion. my man just wanted to cosplay. but i guess that's more of a personal thing.

Luz is in her depression era. she's upset because she thinks that everything is her fault, completely understandable. was i moved by it at all? noooooo.

amityyyyy. exists to be a good girlfriend. and that's OKAY. i'd probably like her way more if they hadn't turned the cunt beam down. she used to be a real bitch and that's when she was at her most interesting TO ME. IMO.

the most egregious thing to me is episode 2. that episode focused HEAVILY on side characters and stories I have no interest in when the stakes were supposed to be at their highest. they give boscha (fucking boscha?) a redemption arc when I was moe worried about hunter killing his uncle and luz freeing all the puppeteered slaves. and why are you INTRODUCING STORYLINES WHEN YOU HAVE LESS THAN SIXTY MINUTES OF SHOW LEFT???? it was very veryyy fucking frustrating.

last episode. i barely rememeber it. luz has he depression healed by the power of becoming a kaiju. hunter can now use magic because he ate his magic bird to survive. i was yawning.

when i talk shit about the owl house its because I was so fucking let down by its conclusion. I understand that the team had less to work with, but so did the crew on Rise, and they made an excellent conclusion to their series. because 2/3 seasons in that show were mid (TO ME!!! IN MYYYY OPINION!!!) i don't value it as much as I value shows like gravity falls or infinity train or rottmnt. if you or anybody reading this liked it, that's okay! live your truth. i did Not fuck with it though.

#she speaks #hater tag #asks #ty for asking i love asks!#long post #cartoonists listen to me TAKE STORY STRUCTURE CLASSES #omg and i just remembered it was like a carbon copy of the amphibia finale which released like three months before it #THAT was crazy

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self-indulgent-paw-patrol · 3 months

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On the topic of 'child' fandoms and rule 34: I always remember this story (read it on tumblr, so it might not be real) abt a dude who was planning to make a show on Disney. Right before they greenlight it, a Disney exec was like 'are you SURE abt this???' And the dude was like 'why lol' and then the exec showed him a bunch of Kim Possible porn and went 'cuz THIS is what's gonna happen to ur characters'

Moral of the story being: Porn of fandom (even the incredibly icky kind) is so prevalecent that big companies are aware of it and let it be bc it can't be stopped, so no, not one specific fandom has a 'bigger' issue regarding it over any other. 'Tis the internet, every fandom sucks if you focus on the bad part. Use that block button liberally, and become pals w like 3 ppl, it'll be much more enjoyable -💖🌟✨️💫

HI SPARKLY o/

And YEAH this is literally what I always do XDD I get into a fandom, I meet people, interact, become friends with a bunch, get closer to like 3 or 5, and that's it.

Every fandom, every THING has its bad and dark sides. If you focus only on that, you'll miss all the good things that could also come with it. Gotta learn to enjoy things on your own accord instead of depending heavily on ONE HUNDRED PERCENT of what the fandom will throw at your face. Take all that through a filter and get only the 15% or 25% you'll actually enjoy and have fun with it!

Btw I remember a story like that too! But it was told by a comic artist at a con here. He said the company did something like that, showed him a bunch of nsfw arts and was like "THIS is what will happen, are you still willing to start?" And he said it was the best decision ever to start anyway because he got so many good things out of it, if he would focus only on the "oh no they'll draw porn of my characters" part, he wouldn't be where he is now. So YEAH, they do that XD

#Sparkly Anon #Thanks for the ask!!

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naumin · 2 years

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2022 in review

in an effort to blog about art on my art blog more i will be writing a post covering my work in 2022 and maybe some aspirations going forward into 2023

2022 was the year of learning to paint! at the beginning i was really frustrated, a lot of my pieces were very hit or miss and i couldnt tell why some sucked and some fuckd. i nibbled at some online courses for fundamentals, James Gurney’s Color & Light book and Marco Bucci’s painting videos, and was looking for a mentor at one point but i think i stopped cuz i broke my thumb briefly lol

a piece from december 2021 that is just a bit random and i think representative of my stabbing in the dark

studying...

in June i split a schoolism sub with emma and it was an amazing decision. i think if you have limited time to practice drawing or dont know where to go the best thing is to take a course, and ive taken cheap or free courses online but the tutors on schoolism are top of the industry and the quality of their teaching is stellar imo. literally felt my brain explode with knowledge they are the best of the best. i finished the painting workout course with wouter tulp and ive dipped in and out of numerous others since then. its cool bcus u can study at your own pace.

July was artfight, i did talk about it here so not gonna repeat myself heh

then i was really busy with my MA, its been so fun and so exhausting. a year is so short and i want to try all the printing techniques and ceramics and everything cry. but hey now i know indesign and can make my own zines and stuff which is amazing. i also tabled at my first market :) i did really like it and would love to do more, dont want to put pressure on myself to do that this year but at least wanna visit them and scope out the audiences and stuff.

school really is making me appreciate traditional art again, tbh it is nothing like digital. you just cant get that chaos or physical resistance from your materials in digital, everything is very deliberate and constructed and almost predictable. ive started to incorporate more traditional work into my pieces where i can, especially photobashing. i can use photos i offhandedly took years ago and it feels really nice to get to repurpose them.

a spread from my school project, a book about one of my passions (i chose the story of how i got into elden ring!!!) i made it from paper cutting, photobashing, and digital. (im going to sell pdf and physical copies in the new year)

so circling back to the start of the year, i think you can see marked progress in my illustrations that ive posted here. i think i learned a lot about techniques within a painting but i want to learn more about pictorial composition bcus my default tends to be 3:4, portrait, charas centre, and i want to break that habit and tell more effective stories :)

over the past 2 years ive been incorporating more realism into the characters i draw and trying to be really deliberate with what features, proportions etc they have.

a 2021 isa and a 2022 isa

i think i want to maintain this level of detail because its descriptive enough for my needs but i want to push it to be more dynamic and stylised. i really admire the way disney animators like jin kim do it. its because im not confident enough with structure and anatomy to really play with it.

on the other hand with life drawing i really want to do more realism and capture exactly whats in front of me because i think i rely on style as a crutch too much hahaha.

from december. proud of these!!!

thats whats on my mind really. again really dont want to put any undue pressure on myself and i am going to be really busy until october at least. i am seriously proud of my progress in 2022. and im really looking forward to playing bloodborne x

#diary

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allylikethecat · 11 months

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Writing asks I came up with:

1. What got you into writing fanfic in the first place?

2. What boundaries would you not cross as a writer regarding content?

3. Has a fic ever made you cry? And if so, what was it about that fic?

4. How do you feel about abandoning fics?

5. Are there any novel authors you like that have influenced your writing style?

YAY!! Asks!! Thank you so much for coming up with these! Get exciting for me to ramble and overshare (but do you expect anything less?!)

What got you into writing fanfic in the first place?

I have been writing fanfic since before I was even old enough to know what it really was. I was always day dreaming and drawing pictures inserting my own characters into my favorite stories, or forcing my favorite characters into my own situations (my mother used to transcribe the adventures of various Disney princess for me lol) the first *real* fanfiction I remember writing was in 5th grade for the book Eragon. My childhood best friend and I had a red spiral bound notebook that we passed back and forth and wrote our fic in. In terms of The 1975- I've been a fan of theirs since the Robbers music video started showing up on my Tumblr dash back in like 2014? (I couldn't figure out who I wanted to be more... Matty or the Robbers girl and years later I still in fact do not have an answer for that one lol) And I realized they were the same band that sang the song Chocolate. However, I didn't start posting my writing for them until last year when I was Going Through It™️ and my Bestie encouraged me to use it as an outlet (sorry Fictional!Matty! that's why your life sucks!)

2. What boundaries would you not cross as a writer regarding content?

I don't think I've actually killed off any *main* character or public figure yet and I can't actually see myself doing that? At least in something that I post for public consumption? Honestly that could change though. I don't really have any boundaries I'm not willing to cross because I am a firm believer that fanfiction is still considered art and art is supposed to make someone feel something and even make them uncomfortable. I actually have a fic that I've been working on that I'm hesitant to share because I'm not sure boundaries exist and I don't want to offend anyone (again) 😂

3. Has a fic ever made you cry? And if so, what was it about that fic?

This question isn't fair. I am a cryer, everything makes me cry. I started crying the other day because I love my horse so much (he's totally fine he was just looking super cute and was all happy I brought him carrots.) So yes, lots of fics have made me cry. Anything that I read that I can tell the author poured their heart into writing is honestly going to make me at least tear up and I am not ashamed to admit it. That's why I don't wear mascara on my lower lashes and only wear waterproof eyeliner 😂

4. How do you feel about abandoning fics?

I've only officially done it once, for a Hockey RPF fic that I just, wasn't enjoying working on. Everything else is just on "Hiatus" until I remember it exists again even if it takes years. I don't consider myself a quitter and abandoning a fic that I've started posting kind of breaks my soul. HOWEVER I do have a folder on my Google Drive that's just a graveyard of abandoned and half finished fics that I never posted that I go and visit sometimes.

5. Are there any novel authors you like that have influenced your writing style?

Yes! For sure 100%. However, I am currently sitting here going "I have never read a book before in my life" which is obviously a bold face lie you should see my GoodReads page but not really because there is a ton of my real life personal information on it lol Even though he's not (technically) a novelist (even though he did write a book!) can I say Pete Wentz? He's probably one of the writers I look up to the most. The way he bends words to pen lyrics just... scratch an itch in my brain and I hope I can one day make someone feel the way Fall Out Boy lyrics make me feel and I 100% feel like the flowery way he writes has influenced my to some capacity.

Thank you so much for sending these in! It was fun!

❤️Ally

#allylikethecat #ask ally #anon ask #fanfiction #keep it kind #matty fic #questions #answers #sorry for writing you a tiny novel lol #i hope it makes sense!

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h0oty · 18 days

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NEW PINNED POST :3

☆⁎⁺˳✧༚*༚✧˳⁺⁎☆Hooty/Sirius/Pickle/Whatever☆⁎⁺˳✧༚*༚✧˳⁺⁎☆

☆It/Hoot (they/them OK just not preferred) ☆

✧ 19 / palestinian-american / autistic + plural + xenogender ✧

☆⁎⁺˳✧༚*༚✧˳⁺⁎☆ ☆⁎⁺˳✧༚*༚✧˳⁺⁎☆ ☆⁎⁺˳✧༚*༚✧˳⁺⁎☆ ☆⁎⁺˳✧༚*༚✧˳⁺⁎☆

I LOVE GETTING ASKS AND REQUESTS I try my best to reply to them on time send me words

☆⁎⁺˳✧༚*༚✧˳⁺⁎☆LINKS ☆⁎⁺˳✧༚*༚✧˳⁺⁎☆

art tag / mlp redesigns / instagram / toyhouse

ko-fi

☆⁎⁺˳✧༚*༚✧˳⁺⁎☆ ☆⁎⁺˳✧༚*༚✧˳⁺⁎☆ INTRO ☆⁎⁺˳✧༚*༚✧˳⁺⁎☆ ☆⁎⁺˳✧༚*༚✧˳⁺⁎☆

Hi my name is Pickle and i am a weird autistic bird thing. I am aware hooty is a cartoon character (and i love him dearly) but my username is a coincidence dont sue me disney!!!!!!

I am a DID system host. I don't post about this often but to give some context as to why I refer to myself as a bird rather than a human LOL

I draw stuff! You probably know me from MLP art if you're on here but i work on all sorts of projects (i need to post more fr) please feel free to ask me about anything whenever i love it

I'd love to do art professionally some day, but for now im just a guy Feel free to send a dm at any time but keep in mind i have the social skills of a wet piece of bread and i might get too shy to answer. u have my explicit permission to spam me until i reply /gen

If you like my art, I do pwyw comms on my ko-fi, they start at $5! I can draw anything :3

^ u can also dm me if you don't have ko-fi but are interested...

BYF under the cut

Before you follow:

i don't have a real dni because no one respects it. if youre a creep or we disagree on important morals i will block you

this is not a safe space for bigotry (racism, lgbtphobia, ect.) and this extends to things like "contradictory labels" of lgbt people. (basically, idc if someone is a 'mspec lesbian' or whatever thats their choice and gender is made up!!!!)

i use my art to cope and therefore may explore dark topics in my art. im going to start posting more of whatever i want so if you need something tagged please lmk! anything generally agreed as upsetting will already have a warning

that being said i do NOT tag HEALED scars, deformities, or amputations. i believe bodies should not need to be censored like that its the same as saying "cw freckles" ☆⁎⁺˳✧༚*༚✧˳⁺⁎☆ ☆⁎⁺˳✧༚*༚✧˳⁺⁎☆ ☆⁎⁺˳✧༚*༚✧˳⁺⁎☆ ☆⁎⁺˳✧༚*༚✧˳⁺⁎☆ Not a formal DNI because I know people like this aren't gonna listen but I'll probably block you if:

you're proship OR antiship* ( i obviously dont condone proshipping BUT i don't condone harassing them either, as they're usually misguided kids or traumatized. its always better to let ppl know WHY stuff is bad and help them grow rather than just saying they all suck and should die.)

zionist (im palestinian why r you here)

believe in or condone "sfw fetish" content (this does not mean liking it means posting kink art with no warnings where kids can access it because its ""sfw""/non-sexual PLS KEEP KIDS SAFE ONLINE GUYS!!!)

☆⁎⁺˳✧༚*༚✧˳⁺⁎☆ ☆⁎⁺˳✧༚*༚✧˳⁺⁎☆ ☆⁎⁺˳✧༚*༚✧˳⁺⁎☆ ☆⁎⁺˳✧༚*༚✧˳⁺⁎☆

also note that among various horrors i have BPD so i can get emotionally driven and impulsive. i have gotten a lot better w/ it and am making efforts not to but sometimes i will vagepost on a whim if something upsets me or get argumentative with obvious anon trolls . i am working on it just hit me with a "stop that" if im being wacky

#pinned post #intro

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bluekat12345 · 3 years

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As you know, I have been trying to make Priscilla Pynch a more regular/important character in my Rescue Bots AU's, but I would like to know what is her role or just what she does in your AU's!

I want to know what this little devil and her demon mom do on the island to the Burns family!

Truth be told I haven't really thought much about the villains in my AUs, just when they're relevant. Fortunately, I have given Priscilla a thought or two. And here they are!

Techno-Organic Cody

I was actually inspired by Disney's Hercules for this idea. Basically, Priscilla's role would be like Meg.

One day, she was minding her business, but then something happens, and Cody uses his powers to save her.

Her mother found out about this, and instead of being happy her daughter is okay, she would be fascinated by what Cody did.

They would think Cody had used special tech and Madeline Pynch would want to get her hands on that tech and make money from it. And she would make her daughter help.

Priscilla would try and get close to Cody, under the guise of wanting to thank him for saving her.

Everyone would be suspicious, but Cody would give it a chance, wanting to the good in her.

The beginning would be awkward, but the two would bond and grow close.

Priscilla would be surprised that someone actually like for her, not her money or status, and she would allow herself to really open up to him.

Cody would be able to see past her mean girl exterior and would like who she is deep down inside.

Meanwhile, Madeline would be furious her daughter is wasting time, Frankie would be half-concerned and half-jealous her best friend is hanging out with an enemy, and Charlie would be worried of losing his son to possible criminals.

I actually imagine Priscilla telling him the truth and what her mother wants. She expects him to hate her, but she doesn't want to lie to him and get him hurt.

But Cody would be understanding, knowing it's her mother's idea and the two would actually grow closer, despite their families not liking the relationship.

He might even tell her what he is, and Priscilla would keep that secret with her life, no matter how much her mother demands her to tell.

Oldest Child Cody

Honestly, I was hesitate to share this since I've only thought of this recently but I decided to go for it.

For this AU, I'm gonna age her up so she'll be around Cody age, basically they're both adults here.

She would be something of a rival towards Cody. She would be one of the few to see though Cody' perfect facade, and one of the few people he wouldn't bother acting perfect around, since to him, she's not worth the effort.

She would also be a bit more of an active participant in her mother's schemes here, maybe not enough to put her in jail too, but still.

The relationship would also be rather complex. They act civil and polite in public, but behind closed doors, they are not shy about disliking each other.

But at the same time, Cody appreciates that there is someone he can actually be himself with and not worry about consequences. And Priscilla appreciates someone who doesn't try to suck up to her and get on her good side, someone who tells her to her face that they don't like her. And the fact that its resident Mr. Perfect Cody makes it rather exciting.

So they have complicated feelings towards each other. They say they don't like each other, but deep down, they actually do. Even they don't understand what they feel towards each other.

Empath/Telepath Cody (The AU you pitched a while ago)

Little Miss Priscilla would one of the many people Cody tries to help in this AU.

I actually got the idea from your drawings. Mainly the one where Cody is hugging Priscilla.

In this AU, Cody would be able to see how miserable Priscilla really is and would want to help her.

Priscilla would resist at first, but eventually, she would given in and seek Cody's help.

Cody would be her unofficial therapist for a while.

And after a while she would develop a crush on him.

Cody would be oblivious about this, he knows she crushing on someone, but not who, since he doesn't want to invade her privacy. And if he knows its him, he'll be hesitant because he doesn't want to feel like he's taking advantage of her.

They'd get together eventually, mainly because Priscilla can be persistent when she wants to.

You have made me ship these two. I hope you're proud of yourself.

#Answer #Transfomers #Transformers AU #Rescue Bots #Rescue Bots AU #Transformers Rescue Bots #Priscilla Pynch #RB Priscilla Pynch #Cody Burns #RB Cody Burns #Cody Burns/Priscilla Pynch

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denkis-sluttyboy · 3 years

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Caregiver Headcanons!

Okay so I’m an age dreamer and I was like obessesing over the though of some of the mha character’s being your caregiver so HEY CAREGIVER HEADCANONS! (Yes they are dating you but it’s not ddlg) Also, let me know if I should do oneshots or more caregiver headcanons with other characters (which I might anyways).

Characters: Bakugou, Izuku, Denki

Mentions - Littlespace, Age regression, Caregiver being referred to as daddy/dadda/dad, and Bratty little.

Bakugou -

Bakugou would be the type of caregiver that will punish you no hesitation, curses in front of you mostly because he forgets your in littlespace, and has his merch as your toys. The merch runs from Dynamight Pj’s, to Dynamight Teddybears.

Of course when you first told Bakugou you age regressed he looked at you like it was some kind of sickness. You spent a good few hours explaining what it was and asking if he could be your caregiver which you then again had to explain what a caregiver is.

“So... I’m your daddy? That is, when you’re in this state.” He seemed to understand well enough. Or.. so you thought.

Here came the first time you were age regressed in front of him and he literally forgot everything you told him.

“Shit. What do I do again?!” He stared at you, sucking on your thumb, for a good few minutes before you actually said something to him

“Dadda! Uppies. Im hungryyyyy!” You reached up for him and he quickly wanted to tell you that he wasn’t going to carry you but realized you were literally in the state of a child in this moment. Plus, you were adorable in your outfit.

He ended up carrying you everywhere. He didn’t complain though, it was nice seeing you so happy. Thoughhh, there were moments.

“No!” you shouted at him when he kept telling you to go to bed. It was past 8:30. “Just get in the bed! Or.. you’re getting a punishment” this man knew damn well he didn’t know how to punish a child properly because he was often punished with hits to the back of his head when he was younger. “Noooo!” You threw a teddy bear at him which... caught on his ear piercing and snagged it out. That pushed him over the edge.

“No?! Haha. Okay.” He picked you up and put you in a corner with a thick white gate that was set up earlier that morning. “Hey! Get me out of here!” You kicked, stomped, and punched but there was no use. “This is your punishment. Until you decide you wanna go night nights, you’ll be in this corner.” Well, barely a full hour later you were against the corner’s wall sleep. “Tch, you dumb rascal. Causing so much fuss.” He picked you up again this time, placing you on his bed. You looked so peaceful. Gently lifting you hair, he places a small kiss on your forehead.

Izuku -

Izuku is the type of caregiver that already did a bunch of research and knows what to do. Tries his best to compromise when your being bratty and always gives the best rewards.

When you told him you age regressed he lit up with happiness. “No way! I saw that somewhere and had to do tons of research on it! Is that why you love mr. might so much?” Mr. Might was a cute plush Izuku got you for your birthday. You often slept with it and took it everywhere, usually with the excuse “Ah, I didn’t mean to put him here!”.

Izuku spent many hours asking questions and how he should take good care of you. “I’m so excited. I bet you’re the cutest as a little. Just as cute as you are now! Oh my all might, I’d be your dad right? That sounds a little weird but I’ll adjust!”.

When you told him you could use just his name or refer to him as your caregiver he insisted you call him “dadda” or “daddy” or whatever you felt comfortable with.

When you first regressed in Izu, he though he’d be prepared but what he didn’t know was that you were a bratty little.

“Come on, please just eat this!” Trying to get you to eat any healthy snack was impossible. “I want that!” You didn’t specify but the fact you finger was leading towards the stash of small candies, it was clear what “that” was.

Eventually he compromised by letting you eat a candy first, then the healthy snack that was originally supposed to eaten alone, then again eating another small candy.

Constant small praises, rewards, and free time was earned when you did anything close to good. “Good job! Now you can draw for a little!”

Bedtime was a hassle. You wouldn’t sit down for even a second. “At least put your pj’s on!”, after running through the rooms he got you to put them on. “If I put on cartoons will you lay down?” You hopped into the bed and smiled, “Cartoons! Now!”. The rest of the night you two dozed off cuddled together watch Disney cartoons.

Denki -

Though he knew everything needed to be known about being a caregiver... was sadly mistaken. Loses literally anything or thinks he lost it when really you were just hiding it for the 5th time already. You both end up tired and drooling on each other at the end of the night because your busy trying to cause chaos while he’s busy just trying to keep you somewhat alive.

Well, when you told Denki you age regressed he seemed like it was an everyday thing. “Alright, I’m your caregiver then!”, you cocked your head when he said just that. “You.. have not questions?” He laughed. “You probably don’t remember but you age regressed in front of me before. I was confused them but I did a little research and I’m sure I nailed down what to do!” It was a relief..

Yeah no, he didn’t know what to do. “Whyyy are you being such a brat right now?!” You stuck your tongue out and blew a wet raspberry at him. “Gross yn! What do you want?! Milk? Candy? Teddy? Paci?” You nodded at the last option. “Okay! I can find it.”

No he couldn’t. You hid it. Under the bed. Which was dusty, gross, and weirdly smelled. The smell probably came from the sticky socks but whatever. “Crap, crap, where the hell is yn’s pacifier?!” You wiggle your toes acting oh so innocent as the poor boy looked up, down, around, and very much below everything.

Once he found it he tried to shove it in your mouth but when you pushed it away he realized you actually wanted it clean.

So he spent a good few minutes cleaning white gunk, dust, and spit off of your pacifier.

Thankfully bedtime rolled around. Denki was tuckered out and so were you. You both ended up cuddling on the couch, sleep, and drooling.

#bakugou #caregiver!bakugou x little reader #bnha bakugou #bakugou x y/n #izuku #deku #caregiver!izuku x little reader #bnha midoriya #midoriya x reader #denki #bnha denki #caregiver!denki x little reader #denki x yn #mha

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candychronicles · 5 years

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A little bit of love

hello dear friends! it’s been quite a stressful day for me and a lot of other people in the tumblr community for various reasons, so i felt it was imperative to write a little bit of comfort from some of our favorite characters. i got this lovely idea from the amazing @adoringwords pls follow if you don’t already hehe so thank you to evy!! hope you can all find a bit of solace in these words and feel a little more comfortable tonight.

TAGS: @katsukisprincess @togasknifes @redbeanteax @jojosmilktea @bratwritings

a soft huff left your lips as you wearily dropped your bag on the floor, kicking off your shoes and half-hazardly flinging your coat on the rack. life had been kicking your ass and you weren’t quite sure what to do about it. stress, anxiety and sadness weighed heavily on your shoulders and you were drowning in your feelings.

---

Sero Hanta

“babe?” a soft voice called out from the living room.

“hey,” you wearily replied, walking over and dramatically flopping yourself on Sero’s lap.

his hands immediately came up to your hair, running his long, slender fingers through it. he wasn’t sure what was going on and wasn’t really sure what to say either, but he could feel the tension slowly leave your body as you leaned yourself into his touch, eyes fluttering in relief. he continued his motions with one hand while another came to rub at your shoulder, your arms, your sides, simply trying to help and ease you even more.

“thank you,” you replied softly, humming in approval. despite the stresses of the day, you knew that your boyfriend would always find a way to make you feel better.

“anytime,” he whispered back, smiling down at your frame, heart bursting out of his chest. he wasn’t the best with words at times like this but he wanted to always make sure you knew you were loved and would have someone there to make you feel better.

Shinsou Hitoshi

Shinsou appeared in front of you, a frown on his face, lilac eyes attempting to peer into your own but your head was hung in pure exhaustion. a soft tsk left his lips as he crouched down, finally catching your eyes with his own. there was nothing but concern laced on his face, a small tilt to his head as he silently questioned what was wrong.

“‘Toshi,” you whimpered, chin wobbling as you tried not to cry in front of your love.

he immediately stood up, wrapping your shaking frame with his own, holding you close, chin on the top of your head, encouraging you to let it all out. it started with small hiccups but soon turned into great big heaves as you sobbed into his chest. he softly stroked your hair, kissed your head, held you close, anything he could do to give you some bit of comfort.

“i’m not sure what happened love, but i’m here for you. please know that i won’t ever let you be alone in these trying times. always come to me when you’re feeling down. you’re never a burden and i want to help you,” he murmured in your ear, reassuring you more than anything that he was there for you and not ever going to leave you alone.

Mirio Togata

“y/n?” Togata questioned with an unusual frown on his face, hands placed on his hips, assessing the situation.

“it’s nothing Mirio, just, not feeling good today,” you admitted half-handedly, not wanting to bother your boyfriend, especially knowing he dealt with a lot more stress than you on a daily bases.

“well you’re not feeling well, so that is something!” he exclaimed, not taking your nonchalance to heart and instead scooping you up with his arms, body cradled to his warm chest.

you squeaked as he effortlessly picked you up and placed you gently on the couch in the living room, bundling you in a blanket and promising a quick return with a small peck on your forehead.

moments had passed as you stared blankly ahead, but suddenly, your lover had returned, a smile on his face and a pile of drinks and snacks in his hand. he turned on the tv to your favorite Disney movie, snuggled in the blanket with you and, throughout the night, fed you your favorite snacks and drinks.

“thanks Mirio, i really needed this,” you admitted, smiling as you snuggled into his side more.

“of course love! i am always here to help!”

Tamaki Amajiki

you heard no one in the apartment, so you made your way towards the bedroom, being stopped as Tamaki walked out and bumped into you, surprise written on both of your faces.

“welcome home bunny,” he greeted, reaching forward to caress your cheek, frowning when he noticed the blank look on your eyes.

“a-are you okay?” he asked, internally slapping himself for even asking knowing full well that something was wrong.

“everything sucks,” you admitted bluntly, attempting to sneak past him into the bedroom.

you honestly just wanted to sleep your problems away and certainly didn’t want to bring Tamaki into the situation but you also knew you couldn’t lie to him. you were almost to the bed when a gentle grab of your arm stopped you.

“(y/n),” Tamaki started, turning you around and gently pulling you to his chest, kissing the top of your forehead, his body shakier than yours, clearly upset that you were sad. “let’s take a nap, yeah? and then we can maybe get some takeout s-snuggle some more, please?”

you responded wordlessly, slipping out of his grasp and moving back towards the bed. Tamaki beat you to it, pulling back the covers, helping you out of your daily clothes and into some pjs, tucking you into the bed before practically sprinting to the other side, slipping under the covers himself and drawing you to his side, wrapping his gangly frame around your body, essentially acting like a second blanket.

his warm body and slow, even breaths lulled you into a comfortable sleep and Tamaki verbally sighed, happy that you were, even if it was only for the moment, at peace.

Eijiro Kirishima

“hi babe! i made some cookies for today! would you like…” he trailed off, noticing your jutting lip and clenched jaw.

“aw babe, no i’m sorry! if you don’t want one you don’t have to have one!” he exclaimed, frantically waving his hands, attempting to hide the food from your sight.

you continued to watch the scene unfold, your hold on your emotions weakening before you dropped to your knees. well, you almost dropped, but strong arms wrapped around your body before you got a chance to fall, gently pulling you to the floor, rocking you back and forth.

“that isn’t about the cookies, huh?” Kirishima joked, sniffling with you, attempting to hold back his own tears.

seeing you in so much pain took a real toll on him, too, but he would never tell you, wanting to simply comfort you. he just loved you so damn much that he felt your pain.

for what seemed like hours but was really just a few minutes, the two of you rocked on the floor, Kirishima cradling your body with his own, his soft words of love and encouragement bringing you down to a sniffle.

“do you want to talk about it?” he asked, pulling his head away from your own and looking at you with a toothy grin.

“no, i think i’m okay, but i would like a cookie now, please.”

Kirishima, without warning, scooped you off the ground, setting you on the counter and pulled the cookies out, placing the whole plate in front of you. if cookies were what you needed, he would feed you the whole damn pile and more. anything to make you happy.

Denki Kaminari

you heard the sounds of video games being played in the living room, soft cheers and curses from Kaminari as he played. you attempted to sneak behind him into the bedroom but tripped over his shoes that were strewn about, falling to the floor with a thud, blinking owlishly as you tried to understand what was going on.

all the frustrations of the day caught up with you and, without even realizing it, you began to cry, throwing the shoes at what you thought was the wall but really was your boyfriend who came out to see what was going on.

“whoa, babe, i’m sorry, did my shoes make you trip? oh shit, oh shit, oh shit…” he rambled, seeing you on the floor, crying, hands and knees red from catching your fall.

he ran over to you, almost tripping himself, scooping you in his arms, apologizing over and over again about the shoes, not understanding what was going on but not wanting to leave you to cry alone.

“it’s not about your stupid shoes Denki,” you cried, pushing him away, frustration evident in your voice. he moved away, sitting crossed legged away from you, panic evident on his face. “it’s just, everything. i’m so tired, i don’t know what to do, but i’m not happy right now.”

“oh baby, fuck, and i just made it worse. i’m so sorry. here, c’mon, come lay with me,” he cooed, helping you up off the floor and to the couch.

your head laid gently on his legs, blanket wrapped tightly around his body, as he began playing video games, explaining the situation to you, making funny commentary and even helping you learn, cheering you on every time you did something good and encouraging you when you were struggling.

after a few hours, you two were sitting side by side, elbows bumping, competitively playing, lost in your own world, laughing and crying and screaming, letting your emotions out in a healthy way.

“i’m so proud of you babe!” Kaminari exclaimed after you finally managed to beat him, reaching up to give you a high five. “and not just because of the game. you’re so amazing and smart and i’m so happy to be with you. i’m sorry i’m not the best with words but i hope i helped you at least a little bit today.”

“you did Denki, you really did, so thank you so much. now stop changing the subject. i wanna play again, and i’ll beat you yet again!”

Bakugou Katsuki

“oi, quit making a racket out there, i’m trying to focus!” Bakugou called from the kitchen, presumably working on something important.

when he didn’t hear you yell something back to him, he cocked his head, confused, and scooted his chair out, walking out to investigate what was going on. he didn’t see you by the front door and that only confused him more. soft shuffling could be heard from the bedroom so he made his way towards the door, busting it open and seeing nothing.

“where the hell are you?” he asked, turning on the light and seeing a lump under the comfort, the bed softly shaking as you attempted to stop crying.

Bakugou sighed, heart breaking at the sight, feeling mad at himself for yelling at you earlier. he moved towards the bed, flinching as he saw you curl into yourself, pulling the blankets tighter around your body.

“shitty woman, let me in. i’m cuddling you,” he stated matter-of-fact, pulling the blanket out from under your body, wrapping his arms around you and dragging you close to him, a sigh once again leaving his lips.

“why didn’t you come and talk to me?”

“you sounded busy. i didn’t want to bother you,” you admitted, hiccuping as you attempted to catch your breath from crying.

“i know i act like an ass sometimes, but i want, no i need, you to know that you are more important than some stupid paperwork and i absolutely want you to bother me over that. do you understand? don’t come hide in here, i’m here to make you feel better, okay?”

“o-okay,” you cried, turning around and nuzzling your face into his neck, inhaling his caramel scent and instantly calming down.

“i love you, you dumbass, i really love you,” Bakugou admitted, kissing the top of your head and squeezing you tighter, signaling that he was not going to let you leave this bed anytime soon.

Izuku Midoriya

you grabbed the side of the wall, steadying yourself and breathing deeply, preparing to enter the house and face the ever cheery Midoriya. you knew even one ounce of sadness and he would pounce on you like a mother hen and, while that was probably what you needed, that was not what your boyfriend deserved, knowing he has his own stressful days often. you always kissed his scars, ran your fingers through his hair, did everything you could to make him feel good, and you needed to be able to do that today, no matter how you were feeling.

that plan went out the window, however, as you walked into the house, Midoriya instantly walking over to grab your face in his hands and reaching forward to plant a kiss to your lips.

“what’s wrong, my love?” he asked, eyes wide with concern, glassy from trying to hold back his own tears.

“Izuku, it’s nothing, really. how was your day?” you asked, putting on a fake smile, hoping that you would be able to trick him.

“my day was just fine, so don’t worry about me, okay? let me take care of you today.”

you sighed, shoulders sagging as you let go of the brave face, tears pricking the corners of your eyes. Izuku led you into the kitchen and helped you sit down, bringing you a cup of water and some food, watching to make sure you ate and drank something. once you were done and dishes were in the sink, he brought you into the bathroom, setting up a warm bath for you and leaving you to relax.

when you padded into the bedroom, adorned in a fluffy robe and silky pjs, Midoriya had soft music playing, sweet smelling candles and thick blankets all set up. he sat at the side of the bed, eyes hopeful and pleading, arms outstretched as he silently asked you to join him. you melted into his arms, limbs meshing together as you found a comfy cuddling position, a huff leaving your lips as you finally relaxed.

“thank you ‘Zuku,” you whispered into his chest, squeezing him tightly in a hug.

“you do so much for me (y/n), i wish i could repay you for everything you have ever done. i will go to the ends of the earth just to make you happy. i love you so much.”

Shouto Todoroki

you sighed, tension gripping your body, stiffly moving to the couch and sitting down next to Todoroki in the living room with a huff.

“what’s wrong?” he asked simply, turning so he sat cross legged on the couch, motioning for you to move and join him.

when you were resituated, you sighed once more, going into detail about everything you were feeling. you didn’t hold back on any detail, tears coming and going, a wide range of emotions flitting between your face, from sadness, to anger, to confusion, to defeat. through it all, Todoroki sat and listened, eyes never leaving yours, hands gripping your own, soothing circles being rubbed into them with his thumbs.

when you were done, he removed one of his hands from your lap and wiped your tears away, finally cupping your face and leaning in for a long and soft kiss, bringing your breathing down to a normal pace, your heart racing from love, not anxiety.

“what can i do to help you?” he asked once he pulled away, his hand staying on your cheek, other squeezing your hand in encouragement.

you blinked once, twice, three times. your brain simply couldn’t process the fact that you had such a wonderfully loving person in your life who just wanted to take care of you and help you.

“you’ve done so much just by listening. can we just eat and relax tonight? i know you’re really busy and if…” you began rambling, being cut off once again by a pair of lips on your own.

he pulled away, eyes twinkling in mischief. “i’ll order your favorite food and we’ll stay in tonight and eat on the couch. you can keep talking to me about your feelings all night if you want. i’m here for you and i’m going to make sure you feel better. don’t worry about my schedule. nothing is more important than making you feel better right now.”

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ordinaryschmuck · 3 years

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Starkid Musicals Ranked from Worst to Best

Salutations to you, random people on the internet who most certainly won’t read this. I am an Ordinary Schmuck. I write stories and reviews and draw comics and cartoons.

Welp. I finally did it. I've watched the entire Starkid musical library, and I must say, most of these plays fit my writing style perfectly:

Humor that is cynical yet random

Leaning in with comedy while sprinkling in some well-executed drama

An understanding that any type of story works as long as the cast of varying personalities of characters is dynamic enough to result in some phenomenal chemistry.

This is in almost all of their plays, excelled through fantastic writing and stellar performances driving the overall quality. And it inspired me not only to review each musical, but also ranking them all from worst to best. Or, more accurately, least good to most good. Because even at their "worst," Starkid still provides a funny, enjoyable experience that will keep you laughing with its comedy and your toes tapping with its catchy music. So strap in as I go in-depth into how Starkid proves how they are the masters of humor and melody.

(I'll also provide links to each musical, which is all for free on YouTube, so you can check them out yourselves. Just know that their early work is impossible to enjoy without subtitles, so you might want to have Closed Captions on when watching.)

#12-Holy Musical B@man-Everything about this play makes it seem like it's the weakest to me. The jokes, songs, and characters in Holy Musical B@tman just don't hit as hard as Starkid's other plays. It's still good, but compared to their best, the cracks show a lot more. That is, except for the ending. Not only is there a great speech that shows what makes superheroes so beloved, but "Super Friends" might just be my favorite finale song Starkid has ever put out. Holy Musical B@tman may not be the best, but it's at least worth the time.

#11-Firebringer-This was stupid. Really stupid. Funny as f**k, but still pretty stupid. Although I will give credit to one of the central pairings being LGBTQA+...Even though it makes little to no sense based on the characters' previous interactions. But in fairness, Starkid really sucks at writing good romantic relationships, so at least Firebringer has the benefit of being gay. And as we all know: The gayer, the better. The play is still stupid, though.

#10-Me and My Dick-The world in this musical makes little to no sense. Penises and vaginas are sentient and can communicate with their humans. And yet the penises and vaginas can also talk with each other, form relationships, leave their humans, and reinsert themselves into others--Yeah, it makes no sense...But, DAMN, is it funny! Every joke and innuendo Me and My Dick has about human anatomy works, and I could not stop laughing at each of them. Especially the names that were given to the vaginas, which are just...I mean, I'm laughing just by thinking about them. That should tell you how funny they are. This play might be illogical in every way, but if you turn your brain off and watch it for the humor, you'll definitely be in for something fun.

#9-ANI: A Parody-What's weird about ANI is that its best qualities are also weaknesses. A good chunk of the jokes are hilarious and expertly delivered. The issue is that most of them are about taking potshots at the Star Wars prequels, which might be the laziest jokes to make in a Star Wars parody. Then there's the soundtrack, having several songs that are a bop to listen to. The problem is that ANI suffers from the same issues as Tarzan and Brother Bear: Yes, technically, it is a musical, but it's one where none of the characters sing, and some people in the background do all the singing instead. It's all an odd balancing act of quality content made through questionable choices. ANI is still an entertaining play, but the force isn't as strong with this one.

#8-Black Friday-This might be the least funny play that Starkid has ever put out. Not just because it leans extra hard into drama, which was pretty effective during certain scenes. It's just when there are jokes in Black Friday, they tend to fall flatter more here than they did in other plays. Also, the plot of Black Friday might not be the best one to play straight. The serious moments work best when focusing on the characters and their personal struggles, but through the big bad that's supposed to be threatening? Not so much. Even if it was meant to be funny, well, I wasn't laughing. And believe it or not, I consider that to be the best judge of whether or not something is funny. That being said, while Black Friday isn't the most humorous Starkid musical, it's still pretty good. The characters are excellent, the songs are awesome, and the story is somewhat easy to follow. I would have appreciated a few more laughs, but I can respect these talented people wanting to challenge their strengths.

#7-Starship-This play feels very...Disney. It follows a familiar formula we've seen several times: The main character wants more than what he has in his crappy life, miraculously gets the exact thing he wants, falls in love with a girl in a short amount of time, faces off against a campy/over the top villain, realizes the hand he's been dealt isn't so bad, and in the end, gets what he wants anyway. Starship is still pretty entertaining through its jokes, characters, and songs, but it also feels weird that Starkid leans into these tropes when they would eventually make a much better play by making fun of them. The end result is not bad in the slightest, but it's also nowhere near their best.

#6-A Very Potter Musical-Starkid's first production, and boy, what a start to something wonderful. Every one of their gimmicks and motifs is present in A Very Potter Musical. The use of parody to playfully mock characters and stories they love, making songs that are as funny as they are emotional, and creating characters that work because of their lines and the actors' performances. Oh, and also, it's funny. And it’s not just through a parody angle, like making Cedric be a perfect boy who's always smiling. It's also funny through its jokes that work, even if you ignore the fact that it’s a parody altogether. Case in point, there are these two bits, one involving Voldemort and Beatrix with the other involving Ron and Hermoine, that are written and delivered so well that I was in tears much more than with any other Starkid play. When watching A Very Potter Musical, you'll not only understand how parody works, but you'll also gain an understanding of why Starkid turned out as successful as they did.

#5-The Trail to Oregon-What can I say? I'm a sucker for comedic dysfunctional families. And seeing a family of idiots make their way to Oregon via The Oregon Trail parody? Yeah, that's a win for me. The play may be another family road trip narrative, which some people might get sick of at this point. But because the dynamics and comedic chemistry everyone has with each other are on point, the end result proves that you don't need an original story to tell an entertaining one. Although I will say that out of all of Starkid's productions, The Trail to Oregon has by far the worst ending. Without giving anything away, the play spends way too much time on this one stupid joke that any of the characters could make. Comedy is defined by personalities, as are most things, so making the joke work for anyone is a bad move when this one, in particular, doesn't fit as well for some characters as it would for others. Plus, the finale song "Naked in a Lake" is a really poor choice to cap off this musical. It's catchy, but to me, a finale song should encapsulate everything about the story, characters, and themes. Not paying off a joke that I honestly wouldn't want the payoff for. So while the ending could have used a lot more polish, that doesn't change how The Trail to Oregon is a pretty funny play that I won't mind revisiting when I have the chance.

#4-A Very Potter Sequel-Hey, sometimes a sequel is better than the original. Sure some jokes don't land, and some story beats aren't as impactful as they thought they were (Serious Black's introduction, for example), but there are far more improvements to this play than the last one. The performances are stronger, the jokes are funnier, the music is catchier, and the characters are much more entertaining in this play than in A Very Potter Musical. Especially new additions like Lupin and Lucious Malfoy, who provide great comedy and sublime drama at times. And Umbridge. Sweet Mother of all that is holy, Umbridge. While A Very Potter Sequel never made me laugh to tears as the first play did, twice, Professor Umbridge carries the comedy so well that she surpasses all of that. Plus, on top of it all, this play nails its ending through a bittersweet note that really captures what makes Hogwarts so special to these characters. I always feel like Starkid's plays tend to lose steam during the last few minutes, but A Very Potter Sequel is one of the few instances that it just builds and builds to a perfect ending. A Very Potter Sequel might not always hit the right marks, but the results are just magical when it does get it right.

#3-The Guy Who Didn’t Like Musicals-This one is pretty clever. The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals is one of those stories that manages to be explicitly hilarious yet implicitly disturbing. For instance, people suddenly bursting into perfectly choreographed musical numbers in a world where songs are exclusively diegetic is pretty funny (especially through the characters' reactions to it). However, knowing what happens to these people and why they sing and dance so expertly helps make the whole situation pretty dire. It's an excellent balancing act that not many stories can accomplish. And while The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals leans one way or the other at times, it's still all handled really well. Oh, and also, you know how most people say the villain song is the best one in any musical? Well, technically speaking, nearly every song in The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals is the villain song. Including the finale, which is just too brilliant for me not to give a round of applause. If you're a person who unfortunately doesn't like musicals either, I'd say be more than willing to give this one a chance. It's funny, catchy, and if you think of the implications, pretty damn disturbing.

#2-A Very Potter Senior Year-...You know how Avengers: Endgame is a bit of a mess, yet people still love it for how much of a perfect (sort of) finale it is? It's the same regard with A Very Potter Senior Year in my eyes. It's far from a masterpiece, but the many, many solid scenes that cap off this series help make me willing to overlook the mistakes. The characters, callbacks, and overall message about how things end was done so expertly well that I physically can’t hate this one. I can understand how it's more of an ok play when compared to the rest of Starkid's productions, but sometimes, ok is wonderful.

#1-Twisted: An Untold Story of a Royal Vizier-...It's Twisted. Everyone loves Twisted! And how could they not? Everything about this play just screams Starkid at their best. The comedy is uproarious, added with the fantastic delivery of the actors and the characters' personalities. Everyone feels as though they have one step in reality and the other in insanity. This, to me, seems like the best type of character work when going for the parody angle. Parody is about giving slight yet snide remarks toward the work you're mocking, which I feel works best when characters drop the suspension of disbelief audiences have when enjoying such a story. And Twisted definitely nails its satire in not only poking fun at Aladdin but also making jokes towards Disney as a brand. From their movies to their inside jokes to their formulas to even their corporate dealings with Pixar, nothing about Disney is sacred in Twisted. But on top of being funny, Twisted might just be the most successful Starkid has been with telling some really compelling drama. The jokes allow themselves to take a back seat to let serious moments play out, and even comedy is added, it provides more for the experience rather than taking anything away. You see this not only through the actors giving it their all but even through some really gorgeous and heart wrenching musical numbers. Oh, and also, Twisted has the best Starkid soundtrack, featuring songs that are epic, funny, and, as I said, heartbreaking. You cannot get better than this and, if you want to get a friend interested in Starkid as a whole, this might be the play for them. Scheherazade may have a thousand tales, but his one is a tale I wouldn't mind hearing for a thousand nights.

And that's about how I feel about Starkid and each and every one of their plays. Odds are your ranking would be much different from mine, and I'm all for that differing opinions. Feel free to make your own ranking if you want because I'm honestly curious where fans would place these plays above or below others. I'm relatively new to enjoying their work, so I have no idea what the consensus is. I do know one thing, though: If Starkid can still be incredibly entertaining through over ten years of content, then I am excited to see what they can accomplish next in another ten years.

#starkid #holy musical b@man #firebringer #me and my dick #ani: a parody #black friday #a very potter trilogy #the trail to oregon #the guy who didn't like musicals #twisted: the untold story of a royal vizier

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cyclogenesis · 3 years

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I will be right there with you overthinking Rogers: The Musical and also hoping Disney releases it like they did the Zemo dance but longer. Did they talk to/try to talk to Bucky? Sam? The other Avengers? Who wouldn’t pick up the calls and they had to use a book? If this is a in-universe parody of Hamilton, which characters have a direct reference to the og musical characters? What did they use? What did they misinterpret? I HAVE SOO MANY QUESTIONS AND THOUGHTS LOL, MARVEL PLEASE I NEED THIS LMAO

YOOOOOO. On a weekly basis I'm like besieged by questions about what exactly the fame experience is of each individual Avenger, like everyone knows they are out here saving the world!! They have recognizable faces! I'm haunted by the moment from TFATWS 1.04 where Bucky's like "how'd you find us?" and Lemar's all "come on, you really think two Avengers can walk around Latvia without drawing attention?" because what theeeee fuck does that mean exactly, are Sam and Bucky getting Gawker Stalkered or whatever, are people posting blurry shots of them from a distance on Twitter like "Falcon and Bucky Barnes sighting!! it looked like they were on a date?" or like stealth livestreaming them on IG Live, location turned on all "AVENGERS IN RIGA? please don't let killer robots drop us out of the sky next lol #ripsokovia" - which, also, who is counting Bucky as an Avenger already, did the remaining half of the planet just assume everyone who fought in the Infinity War battle was an Avenger by default, DOES, THEREFORE, ROCKET THE RACCOON HAVE STANS, HOW MUCH DO PEOPLE KNOW ABOUT THE TALKING RACCOON IN HIS LITTLE OUTFIT WITH HIS BEST FRIEND, THE TREE -

All of which is to say that Bucky absolutely did not take any calls from anyone involved in that fucking musical, despite the fact that he's a prominent as hell part of that story, but like do we see anyone who could be Bucky here, because I don't:

Nor do we see Sam, so this musical is garbage and sucks (though decent Steve casting tbh), also, my kingdom to get Loki's thoughts on his representation here, ANY LOKI, PLEASE, LOOK AT THAT, WHAT IS HAPPENING LMAO

FURTHERMORE, what are the fandom wars going to look like between the OG Avengers stans who write RPF and the upstart Rogers: The Musical stans who write all the weird ships that are only musical canon, okay, because the musical took a lot of liberties, and shut up no it didn't invalidate any RPF ships, none of it is real anyway - excuse me, Steve and Bucky were definitely dating IRL, they just couldn't come out because of PR and Bucky's exclusion from the musical is just more evil management interference with their love, no Captain America's not a repressed homophobe, you're a repressed homophobe, anyway let's rehash the same tired arguments about the moral correctness of RPF that we already had and solved 25 years ago, get over it, then some people start RPF shipping the actors who play Steve and Tony as a joke BUT THEN it becomes a real fandom with their own tinhats -

ANYWAY, can't wait for Hawkeye: The Series About Rogers: The Musical to answer none of my questions at all, ever, and instead simply raise more questions, to torment me, for the rest of my life!

#anonymous #asks #hawkeye series #mcu #rogers the musical #well folks we've answered an ask this morning

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popculturebuffet · 3 years

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One Year Anniversary: Top 12 Ducktales Episodes!

Happy anniversary all you happy people! Yes it was one year ago today I started reviewing animation and it’s been a ride to be sure. I’d always WANTED to be a reviewer: I love going on and on about stuff I love, really digging into it and picking it apart... but I could never get started. I tried youtube but I didn’t have the money for the equipment nor a proper shooting space to record, so my efforts.. were not great. And while I TRIED text reviews, my own looming pile of self hatred meant every attempt I made was shot down when it got hard as me not being good enough.

But one year ago I finally got past that. I’d already been reviewing a bit, doing invididual issues of comics... but got way in over my head trying to do the current line of X-Men comics as it came out, and wisely bowed out of that. But that left a gap: I had nothing to cover week to week and with a demanding new job, I drifted into just doing in charcter chats, little fan fictions script styles. Not bad work, I should do some more at some point and I even got a comissoin once in a while, but nothing I could really live on and not what I wanted to do with my life.

Enter Ducktales. I’d always WANTED to review the show.. and when the double premire happened, I decided fuck it, and put up my thoughts. And then decided.. hey maybe I can do this every week.. and slowly.. my work evolved, getting better and better, getting more and more likes. I picked up Amphibia when that came by week to week.

And eventually.. this went from a hobby, if one I was passionate about to a career. Not a largely paying one, as only one person was really intrested in paying me for it, friend of the blog and our fincial backer @weirdkev27, but .. it’s money and i’m now making about 30 dollars a month due to a comination of comissions and patreon. Other contributers are always welcome mind you, my patreon is here if your curious and comissions are 5 dollars an episode, but i’ts just nice to have money coming in. To have gone from simply WANTING to review things and make a living off it.. to simply doing it.

And it’s been one hell of a year.. and not just because 2020 felt like hell or 2021 began with a full on insurrection. I feel like i’ve acomplished a lot in the year i’ve been doing this: I finished what I started with Ducktales season 3, getting better and better as I went. And I didn’t stop there with ducks: I started covering what brought me to Ducks in the first place, the Life and Times of Scrooge McDuck, and while that retrospective has slid a bit on the schedule, I intend to get it back on track this month. I reviewed a bunch of Darkwing Duck episodes leading up to the Just Us Justice Ducks.. chronologically anyway. The actual airing order reads like someone took 50 issues of a comic, made it rain with them, then just started reading whatever ones they picked up randomly. I also covered some of Duck Master Carl Barks work with the classics Night on Bear Mountain, A Christmas for Shacktown and Back to the Klondike, with more to come.

And the Duck didn’t stop at just reviews I did on my own: Kev comissioned two MASSIVE retrospectives from me: My first for him was Ride of the Three Caballleros where in just a few short months I covered the boys entire televisied careers together from the movie, to house of mouse, to mickey and the roadster racers, to ducktales (again) and finishing with the wonderful Legend of the Three Caballeros. It has probably the worst Daisy imaginable, but otherwise is really excellent and i’m glad I finally watched it. I also covered Don Rosa’s two stories with the boys as part of it. It was a fun ride and I enjoyed every minute of it... okay most of them again Three Cabs Daisy is the worst. And once that finished Kev started up another idea: Shadow Into Light: a look at Lena’s character arc from start to finish that has gone on to be my most popular series on this blog, and that finishes next week. And there’s more to come as after that there’s a short breather with a look at Lilo and Stitch’s crossover episodes.. folllowed by me looking at all three of season 2′s ducktales arcs. And I fully intend to have covered every episode of the series by this time next year, so stay tuned.

Outside of ducks though I didn’t slow down. I restarted my Tom Lucitor retrospective, covering what i feel to be one of Star Vs’ two best characters, tied with eclipsa, and my personal faviorite as he redeemeed himself, found love and I bitched a lot about the horrible directions the series took and probabably will more as that’s still not done yet. I did what I always wanted to do and started looks at some of my faviorite comics ever, starting with Life and Times and adding in New X-Men and Scott PIlgrim. I also threw in the awesome comic Blacksad. I did pride month for the first time and not only came out publicly, but also did two whole arcs i’m proud of with The Saluna episodes of Loud house and the rednid episodes of OK KO, and generally just had myself a good old fashioned time as an out bi man reviewing childrens cartoons.

I started Season 2 of amphibia with it’s lows of an endlesss road trip and highs of adding Marcy to the cast and giving us more of the silky voiced keith david. And finally Patreon wise Kev’s taken me on a hell o fa journey: In addition to the restrospectives i’ve covered some additional darkwing duck, and a simpsons homage to the duck comics... but also got a bit weird and obscure with detours like the lost animnaics sucessor Histeria, the apocalyptic comedy where Santa dosen’t know how doors work Whoops! and the adventures of Santa’s bratty teen daughter jingle belle. In short.. it’s been a long year but damn has it been fun and there’s more to come. I’d like to thank all of you for reading, thank my Patreons Kev and Emma for supporting me, and thank my family for doing the same. So with that out of the way, I figured the best way to celebrate was to do something i’ve been wanting to do for a long time, something honoring the show that gave me this calling in the first place. And with Season 3 sadly being the last, and enough weeks having passed for me to digest it between the finale and today, I could think of nothing better than my top 12 episodes of Ducktales.

Ducktales is one of the best cartoons of the 2010′s. Brilliantly taking EVERYTHING that had come before, the comics, the original cartoon and every bit of duck media period to craft a masterful, unique and wonderful reboot. It was funny, it was insane, and it had damn good character arcs. By the end every member of the main cast along with major supporting cast members like Fenton, Drake and especially Lena, had changed and signifigantly at that. The show was everything I could’ve dreamed of and more and I miss it terribly, hoping DIsney will do a revivial movie at some point. For now though, Frank and Matt’s run on ducktales, as they called it and I do too since i’m a massive comic book nerd, it’s time to look back on my favorite tales of ducks. So grab your sharks, your number one dimes and your friendship cakes with clear gay undertones and join me under the cut as I celebrate one of my faviorite shows and my anniversary in the best way possible.

12. House of the Lucky Gander!

So as i’ve gone on about before and no doubt will again, Donald kinda got the short end of the stick in season 1. While Frank and Matt had good story intentions, keeping Donald away from adventure since he had no interest in it, in practice it meant a beloved Disney Icon who they and disney HEAVILY promoted as part of the series and whose being here this go round was a big draw for fans of the comics.... was only in a quarter of the season and only got TWO plots centered around him in 23 episodes, with only one being the main plot of the episode. The PIlot and Finale both centered around the family more as a whole if your curious how I counted those so while he got plenty of focus in both, it’s still not a day in the limelight sort of thing.

But unusually for Donald, he lucked out as his one big starring role for Season 1 was both one of my faviorites and one of Season 1′s most inventive outings. A lot of the episodes enegy comes from a one two punch of a great guest star and one of the series best settings. The guest star is of course everyone’s faviorite overly lucky himbo Gladstone Gander. The show adapted the prick perfectly: The original Gladstone from the comics.. was the worst asshole imaginable, utterly insufferable. And for a villian, and Donald’s rival, that’s all well and good.. but his super luck meant he RARELY , if ever, suffered any consequences for being just...

The 87 series simply made him nicer, while Going Quackers simply removed his luck. No adaptation really got how to make this fucker work.. until this one. Here Frank split the diffrence: Gladstone is still smug.. but he’s no longer actively malicious. While he is an insensitive prick to Donald in this one, unlike the comics he’s not constantly bragging about his luck or how great he is or actively BAITING Donald to fight with him or trying to ruin his relationship or a million other reasons he sucks and I hate him.

This version by contrast... is generous. He’s not the most empathetic, because he doesn’t get how life works, but he does share the riches of the casnio with everyone and in a cameo appearance in “Treasure of the Found Lamp” gladly offers his nephews some diamonds. He’s got a nice surface level charm to him that makes you understand why people like him.. but it’s also clear ther’es nothing UNDER that of value, making you equally understand why Scrooge and Donald hate him. Gladstone in this reboot is a perfect example of why we need reboots or new adaptations in the first place: Because sometimes the original got something wrong or something can be done much better by the new writers.

He’s perfectly paired with the setting: The House of Lucky Fortune, a mystical casino with an East Asian astatic based in the country of Macaw and provides two great plots. Donald’s really highlights his character: His understandable jealousy at gladstone earning the boys love through nothing while he struggles to make a living for them, and how he feels like a looser and like Gladstone is simply showing that off instead of just not knowing what empathy is. Having Louie be the one to bond with Gladstone was also just pitch pefefct, as is showing some depth for the boy by having himr ealize his hero is an asshole and be the one to help donald in the end.

The other plot is just pure joy though and is where the setting REALLY shines: Scrooge and the rest of the kids try to leave.. but can’t find the exit. This is where the creative part comes in: The Casino simply morphs to keep people trapped, and caters to them, giving them whatever they want to keep them trapped. In the cases of the kids it’s all hilarious and adorably in character: Huey becomes entranced by a fancy water show, in one of his best bits of the season, Dewey gets a pet tiger who sadly did not come home with him and Webby gets to live the dream we’ve all had of stuffing her face directly in a choclate fountain. Scrooge’s escape is likewise clever: He simply prepares to get a room.. then books it as the check in desk is ALWAYS near the front.

We then find out Gladston’es trapped get the whole mystical contest with absolutely gorgeous animation, i’ll talk about it in full some time but this episode is just a treat to watch, has a great arc for donald and had some memorable gags. I can’t help but smile when I watch it.

11. The Dangerous Chemistry of Gandra Dee! As I mentioned before i’m a superhero nerd so naturally Fenton was one of my faviorite parts of the show. Frank and Matt were just damn good at crafting superhero stories, and like gladstone improved fenton turning him from an awkward donald stand in to an awkward peter parker-esque science nerd who just wants to be a good person and the best hero he can be. He got into science not just because he thinks it’s neat, but because he honestly wants to help people and you can’t help but foot for him whenever he pops up. Lin Manuel Miranda is a large reason for that, bringing his incomparable a-game to the character. While we sadly didn’t get a ton of gizmoduck focused episodes, the fatct we got AS MANY as we did and that Lin didn’t drop out for a minute even with his busy schedule was a miracle and I’m acknowledging that.

As for why this one, I feel it builds brilliantly on the previous Fentoncentric episode Who Is Gizmoduck?! which just BARELY didn’t make this list and uses the fact we haven’t seen fenton in a while as both a plot point and to move some things forward without having to spend screentime they clearly didn’t have. By having Fenton be just burnt out on superheroics it finds a way to both explain where he’s been, he’s been busy with his new job, and give us an interesting angle to the old “superhero is tired of the life” thing. He never once complains about saving people or stuff... it’s just like any job it gets tiring after a while. As someone who has his dream job but has struggled with it from time to time, I vastly relate.

Though while I love my boy and Lin is game as always, the episodes real MVP is my other boy Huey. The episode has moved Huey up from being simply Fenton’s fanboy to being his best friend, and adorable as hell relationship. The two clearly respect and appricate each other and Huey is looking out for his buddy the whole episode. His love of love is also just really cute. Added in the mix is Webby, who in one of my faviorite gags of the series, finds out Fenton is Gizmoduck because Huey is incredibly and insanely blatant with his unecessary coverup. But she of course is game to help while Fenton is trying to play it casual. We also just get a waterfall of great gags as everyone overdoes it wingmanning for fenton: Huey sets up an itallian bistro and tries to purposfully create a lady and the tramp situation, and sings opera (With Manny on acordian), the wonderfully 80′s suit from Fenton’s dad his mom gives him to wear, and Launchpad, who gives us a tremendous list of his exes, and plays my favorite song of the series: It’s a Date, a micheal mcdonnel riff.

This episode also wisely ups Mark’s Beaks game as Fenton’s arch enemy, still keeping him hilaroius, with the guy acting like a bored teenager and guzzling so much nanite jucie he turns into a hulk, as well as said hulk mode leading to a ton of great gags from kidnapping the children (”I got your kids.. are they your kids? I don’t know how this family works), to “take that coach dad” to eating a pie with tins and all and wondering about said tins. But he’s an actual threat now, taking on fenton in one hell of a fight, and having an utterly transcendent scene where he hacks his way past gyro’s security while dancing.. and dabbing because of course he does. It’s a fun, well done character piece that’s mostly here for i’ts laugh but Fenton’s struggle with Gizmo overtaking his life, and finding out someone he truly hit it off iwth only wanted him for that.. it’s really good stuff and Lin’s delivery after Fenton finds out, the pure pain and betryal in his voice, is just excellent. Also that opera scene is poetry.

10. Quack Pack!

One of the episodes that started my career naturally landed here. Not for that reason though: Quack Pack is a fun riff on sitcoms, specifically the tgif ones of the 90′s that Disney Afternoon Kids no doubt also watched, the kinds Disney Channel still makes today, and most importanly the kind the Disney Afternoon itself made like Goof Troop and well... Quack Pack.

Riffs on sitcoms are nothing new and the last year has been FULL of them. 2020 gave us this episode, Beef House and the wonderful “The Perfect House” episode of Close Enough, and this year gave us WandaVision, my second favorite MCU project so far, right behind Black Panther, which used the sitcom deconstruction to create one hell of a character study.

So you’d think with a year having passed and this concept happening as an entire mini series would dull this one.. but no. it’s still damn funny, having fun at the cliches while, again like WandaVision, having one of the main cast be responsible by accident but go along with it. The episode pivots from glorious affectionate parody of cheesy sitcoms, to that plus horrifying “Humans”, and a character piece for Donald. This brings Donald’s hatred and fed up ness with adventure to a head revealing his fondest wish is just to have a normal life and not loose anyone again.

It takes one of his best friends to snap him out of it. Look Goofy is my second faviorite of the sensational seven, an episode with him was already an easy sell for me.. but the episode uses him really well. First for laughs as he’s gentically dispositioned to be a perfect sitcom neighbor.. but also for heart. With his family preoccupied and a bit hurt, i’ts Goofy who cuts to the heart of the issue, pointing out NO ONE is normal and even his normal domestic life raising Max, who we see go to prom with roxanne eeeeee, has all sorts of chaos. Normal is what you make of it and pining for some ideal that will never happen was just tearing donald apart piece by piece and by letting go of that.. he finally begins to grow as a person throughout the season. It’s also a great thematic tie in to the season’s overall plot with Bradford and what Makes donald, despite also disliking the chaos his family gets into, different. Donald accepted it and grew as a person.. Bradford clung to his hate and it ate him alive. Or turned him into a non-sapient kind of vulture. Before I close this part out Jaleel White is also excellent and I wish eh’d get back into voice acting. He’s so freaking good at it. Seriously man i’d love to see him and ben in a sonic property together as a mythology gag. Same with Jims cummings and carey. Just think about it whoever owns the sonic movies.. think about it.

9. The Last Adventure!

Look I knew this was coming, you knew this was coming. But it had to be on here. The Last Adventure is not perfect: The lack of a build up episode like the previous two finales had really hurt this one: even at about 70 minutes, it still feels rushed in places and Huey, one of hte main characters of the season, dosen’t feel like he has a full payoff to his character like Dewey and Louie got.

But despite those flaws.. this episode is just a damn good ending. Almost everyone gets a big moment paying off their character arc, everyone in the party that comes to rescue webby and huey, along with the two themselves, gets a moment to show off, and everything comes together to give us one last epic sendoff. There’s just moment stacked on moment stacked on moment from Launchpads heroic second wind and donning of the gizmoduck armor, to Webby’s tearful confrontation with Beakley, to Huey using the greatest adventure of all line to foil bradford in one of the most deligfhully nuts moments of the series, I could go on for days with just how triumphant this finale felt. While it left a lot of doors open.. that feels like part of the design. It’s the end of the fight with FOWL.. but our heroes will never stop adventuring, never stop going and never stop being in our hearts and the curtain call at the end is now my faviorite bit of end credits ever, perfectly giving the main cast and friends one last chance to take a bow in their own unique ways. I will always miss this show but I will never be disapointed by the note it went out on.

8. The 87 Cent Solution!

Look some episodes are show stoppers, some are heartfelt tearjerkers, some are all this and more.. and some episodes are just clever and hilarious. The 87 Solution is the second funniest episode of Ducktales with me and my go to episode when watching the show. It’s just pure fun and with a clever premise: Scrooge notices 87 cents have gone missing, and already coming down with a cold, goes mad with paranoia as the kids slowly don face masks, something that has become even eeerier given everything, one by one realizing he needs to stop.

While David Tennant is an EXCELLENT dramatic actor, his comedy timing is really something that shoudln’t be ignored and i’ts on full display here as his performance gets more and more deranged, to thep oint he thinks an 8th dimensional imp is repsonsible. He nicely balances the disturbing side of Scrooge’s paranoia, his distancing from his family, with plenty of great gags about it too, the standout being when he offers 2 million dollars to whoever took the money like he’s publicly appeasing kidnappers. It’s fucking brilliant.

But while David is awesome as ever what really, truly makes the episode is my boy, one of my faviorite characters on the show if not my single faviriote FLINTHEART GLOMGOLD. Keith Ferguson is ALWAYS a dream as the character but this is his best performance by far. Part of this is the addition of Zan Owlson, Kev who I mentioned earlier’s faviorite Ducktales character. She’s not only throughly likeable in her own right, but provides the one thing Flinty was missing; a straight man.. or woman in this case. Scrooge wasn’t TERRIBLE in the roll, but can easily step away from his shit or foil it. Owlson has to put up with Glomgold’s nonsense while desperatly trying to stop him from undoing all her hard work with sheer force of jackass. The two jut play off each other brilliantly, Glomgold not getting sh’es not his employee but his equal and Owlson constnatly snarking at him.

And of course both things hit their peak in the climax with the family staging a fake funeral (Though no one told donald it was fake), and we get the funniest scene in the entire fucking show as Glomgold burts in in a white suit, money shades and full dance number to “All I Do Is Win’, which when first watching this I was convinced the song was somehow accidnetly on in the background but nope. They got it after using it in the test phase and the scene is better for it. Glomgold twerking on Scrooge’s casket, trying to get on it to dance, and having to be placated like ac hild is the icing on this very rich cake

And the reveal scene is also gold as Glomgold gets into a YEARLONG staring contest with a baby, fails to steal more than the 87 cents and, in my faviorite touch, put on an imp costume just to make scrooge seem crazier... then keeps the damn thing on the rest of the time for no explicable reason. The episode is the show at it’s comedic peak while giving Glomgold a chance to be a genuine threat and that’s Glomgood.

7. Let’s Get Dangerous!

Frank’s Rebooted Version of Darkwing Duck is probably his greatest achivment with the show. While this show is a team effort, something I slowly realized as I reviewed the show, it’s very clear from the way he talks, how well he knows the show and how much effort was put into porting Darkwing into the reboot that this was his baby. While redefining ducktales for the 2010′s was clearly a huge dream of his... doing the same for the master of suprise was an even bigger goal. And as a huge fan of superheroes i’ve seen my fair share of half assed takes on laired and complex characters. The XCU alone is one giant grab bag of missed opportunities for me.

So i’ts no exageration when I tell you Frank.. nailed it. In one of the most brilliant moves i’ve seen for a superhero work Frank worked his love of the show into the reboot.. by having Darkwing have been a show, one Launchpad loved.. and so did Drake, who was inspried by the show to become an inspriation himself and while his attempt to do that through a zack snydery reboot failed, Launchpad encouraged him to do it for real. Drake was still himself, but the meta aspect and the toning down of some of darkwing’s more obnoxious traits that didn’t work in a universe that, while patently rediciulous still took it’s characters seriously, he made a BETTER version of the character.

This is where all that comes to it’s peak, and hoppefully convinced Disney to let Frank , and possibly matt, run the reboot. And no, even if Point Grey is producing that dosen’t stop that: Thanks to Invincible i’ve now realized that Seth and his friend Evan producing the show dosen’t mean it’ll be RAN by them, nor unrelated to this. It just means their helping make it and if anything given how lush and gorgeous invincible’s animation is, it’s a VERY good sign their helping out with it if it’s true.

But wether this versoin continues or not, Frank gave it his best shot. Part of his diffrent angle is having Drake as a rookie here and as such here we see him truly struggle: he’s had his origin, he ahs the cape, he has the gadgets (in a brilliant turn thanks to fenton, who he actually likes... but is so far the ONLY person to not get he’s Gizmoduck), and the city.. but no crime to fight and no real idea how to go about his lifelong dream. The events of the episode slowly shape him: WHile he already had the spirit for darkwing, never giving up, looking good in a cape etc, this episode gives him the heart the same way it gave his original it: With Gosalyn. Dimantopolis and Beatriz just play off each other perfectly, as the two go from neimies to slowly bonding as Drake realizes this kid needs him and that he needs to fight for more than just filing the ohle inside, and goes to hell and back to help her get her grandpa back, with one of the best moments of the episode to me being when Launchpad helps her realize how hard he’s been working at it, an exausted drake refusing to acccept that he can’t get her grandpa back because he promised. He grows from simply trying to live the dream.. to surpassing the original. We also see more from Launchpad, who grows into his new family and helps push his boyfriend and newa dopted daughter in the right directions. The episode really evolves these characters from the simple disney afternoon versions, who while awesome were made into fully fleshed out characters. Gosalyn still has her edge but now has a hard lesson to learn about doing the right thing, forced to give up someone she loves for the greater good but finding a new family in the process.

Part of what makes the episode work though as while it is funcitonally one big darkwing duck reboot pilot that’s awesome, heartrending and a joy to watch... it’s still a ducktales episode in parts without either part hurting each other. Huey plays a vital role, figuring the ramrod is too good to be true.. and discovering just how it is, then when captured, slowly unravling why Bradford’s there and being at least in part responsible for outing him as a FOWL agent. While this is largely Drakes story the rest of the cast is still vital to it: Scrooge trusting in huey, Louie serving as his logical counter and Dewey meanwhile bonding with team darkwing and helping Gosalyn, knowing exactly where she’s been and providing a nice foil. The episode is just one long and impressive love letter to the original show while creating it’s own thing and that’s really this reboot in a nutshell. It also has some of the best fights of the series, with the first fight between darkwing and bulba, where our hero, unlike his original counterpart, easily troucnes bulba using his speed and skill, is the standout.

6. Woo-Ooo!

I covered this one recently so I won’t go on for too long.. but I will say I hold this one up as the gold standard for first episodes. In one hour, hell even in jus the first half we get a sense of the whole cast, the tone of the show, and the world we’ve been thrust into. It gets all the table setting out of the way by weaving it into a compelling story of Scrooge getting back in the game, finding a reason to get back to what he does best in those he loves most and setting up the season long arc effortlessly in the process. The worst I can say about the episode is it sets the bar a bit high for Season 1 and a lot of the first half really struggled to reach these heights. This episode is a masterwork and the perfect showcase for what the series would be at it’s height.

5. Moonvasion!

Speaking of Golden Standards, Moonvasion is one of the best season finale’s i’ve seen. it’s not THE best.. but that’s a really high bar to clear and that spots currently taken in my heart by “The Crossroads of Destiny” from Avatar the Last Airbender. But while not the best of it’s kind, it’s sitll the best the series put out and is an utterly satisfying epic that ties up season 2.

While I love the Last Adventure, it had a LOT to tie up and was really hampered by having to do all of that with no direct lead in. Moonvasion by contrast hits the ground running with the Moonlanders arriving on earth and all hell breaking loose, and the episode itself breaking into two stellar plots. Scrooge leading an army of every ally he has against the invaders, and Della seemingly going for reinforcements.. but really just trying to keep the kids safe from it, to their anger once they find out.

Both sides end up going badly: Scrooge looses most of his army as Lunaris was one step ahead of him and is left iwth Beakly and Launchpad, while Della ends up marooned.. and finds Donald. The reunion between the two is the highlight of the special, as the two argue as you’d expect (And Dewey cutting in seemingly to stop it.. only to rant at Donald for costing him “ten years of turbo” is the best gag of the episode), before embracing.

Our heroes naturally find ways to bounce back though. Louie, capping off his growth for the season, convinces his mom they can’t just hide.. and in the second best scene of the episode sings the lullabye she wrote.. one Donald sung them every night

And no sooner than Della gets her step back and realizes that dangerous or not she and her newly reunited family have to get back in there, do the cousins show up on Fethry’s giant shrimp/girlfriend Mitzi, and our heroes head back.

Scrooge’s plot hits i’ts peak though as he’s forced to accept the help of an unlikely and unwelcome ally: Glomgold, who turns out to be exactly what they need: While his plan is as stupid, short sighted and insane as you’d expect, complete with forcing Scrooge to dress up as santa just to piss him off and dressing his sharks in parkas (”I call them sharkas”), the sheer lonacy throws Lunaris off as he dosen’t know how to deal with this and Glomgold not only gets the better of him but gets his company back as part of his scheme. “You were prepared for our best but not our dumbest!” “And i’m the dumbest theirs ever been! Muahahahaha! Wait...”

And of course our other heroes arrive just in time to save things.. and the episode still manages to pull off what many works struggle to, something tha’ts very hard to: a SECOND climax. Lunaris decides to just say fuck it and blow up the earth and i’ts up to our core family to kick his ass in space. Epic space battles, Della’s girlfriend meeting the family and more insues and an emotoinal, action packed and fully satisfying finale is had by all... and it’s all topped with one of the best sequel hooks i’ve ever seen as FOWL makes themselves known to us.. and prepares to strike.

4. How Santa Stole Christmas! This one will also be short as i’ve talked about this one.. a lottttt. The initial review, my best christmas specials list and my best of 2020 list. I stand by all of that: this is a unique and wonderful christmas special, i’ll be watching it every year, and i’ts full of charm, humor and gay subtext. In short it’s this series but on christmas footing.

3. Last Crash of the Sunchaser!

Another one I covered very recently, this episode is a master piece of suspense, slowly building tension as our heroes get closer and closer to the truth about Della.. and to death, the simple but deadly stakes making this an absolute nailbiter from start to finish. This is some of the series best pacing bar none... but what seals it is the ending: the masterful flashback finally explaning whatever happened to Della duck, our heroes lashing out at each other.. all cumilating in the best Scene of the show. I said it might be in the review but no I can confirm: Scrooge bitterly ruminating over things while we find out just how much he’s lost... ending with him tearfully and angrily sitting once again alone in one hell of a powerful shot echoing Scrooge’s first apperance. Damn fine stuff.

2. Escape from The Impossbin Only one episode not only matches Last Crash in mounting tension and atmosphere but suprasses it. With FOWL and Bradford’s true nature now out in the wind, this episode uses that to create tension and rattles it’s two most unshakable characters: SCrooge’s normal boundless confidence is shot, not sure he can win this time against an opponent who knows him as well as he knows himself while Beakly slowly unravels, pitting Webby against the boys.. and pitting herself against Webby when Webby sees her terroizing them is only dividing them. Both plots start out funny enough but slowly escalate in tension and stakes until by the end your on the edge of your seat. The Beakly plot is the standout of the two, giving Bentina the starring role she badly needed, having gotten even better in light of the finale. Everyone is at the top of their game and everything builds up to one hell of a twist ending and one hell of a badass boast from our heroes: Their down.. but their far from out and this is far from over.

1. Nightmare On Kimotor Hill!

I”ll be reviewing this episode in full later this week as part of my Lena retrospective, but I stand by putting it up top. This episode is ducktales in it’s purest form and focuses on it’s best original character as Lena grapples with her self hatred and her past. That core helps anchor an amazing concept: going into the Kid’s dreams and finding out their greatest desires. The results.. are all gloriously rediclous and are easily the best gags of hte series as a whole: Dewey’s high school musical santa claus is going ot high school nonsense from getting a’s in Dewology to running away from the abstract concept of a love intrest, to not getting the sybolism of himself crying a moon made of his own tears. Louie quite literally becoming garfield, and my faviorite scene of the show: Huey, wanting to be the tall older brother..g iving himself horrifcly long leg. While everyone else is just understandably baffled, what makes the scene is the banter between Dewey and Huey, with Schwartz and Pudi at their best as Dewey first freaks out and then asks what the hell man, while Huey defends his weird decision (”I”m not good at imagination stuff okay!”), and then tries to get a jar of pickles. Each dream is just so oddly and wonderfully specific to each kid and each one of the triplests dreams, as well as violets being color coded down tot he backgrounds is a very nice touch. The visuals here are just peak ducktales, using the setting for all it’s worth and the climax is utterly emotoinal and heartbreaking... and Lena’s break from her abuser, finally realizing she has the power now is not only a wonderful metaphor... but also just so damn cathartic. And that’s why this one’s the best to me personally: it just packs so much into 20 minutes: some of the series best and most creative jokes, a gripping emtoinal arc, and so much more. It’s just that damn good and tha’ts why it’s the best... that and starting Huelet for me. Seriously that LIbrary scene is so fucking cute.

Thank you all for reading. If you liked this artcle, join my patreon and help me get to my stretch goal for monthly darkwing duck reviews, a review of super ducktales and more after! Until the next rainbow... it’s been a pleasure.

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sprnklersplashes · 3 years

Text

songwriter!janis fic (unrequited crush, no-very-happy-ending)

also on ao3

It all started because she loved Taylor Swift when she was in middle school. Who is she kidding, she still loves Taylor Swift, but that’s where all this began. A middle school girl’s obsession with Taylor Swift. A confused, sad girl with a broken heart and smudged black eyeliner, finding refuge in lyrics about loneliness and anger and revenge. They became anthems for her, mantras to mutter when the warzone of middle school became too much for her.

“Someday, I’ll be living in a big old city, and all you’re ever gonna be is mean.”

“Cause I knew you were trouble when you walked in.”

“I can still see you, this ain’t the best view.”

It amazes her. It’s honestly as if Taylor Swift has managed to look into her life and given her a bundle of songs for whatever she needs. For when Regina has thrown her one too many snide looks, for when she’s standing at the door of North Shore High on her first day, for when she eats lunch alone, for when her mom is the best mom she could have asked for, for when she and Damian are lying on the grass in her backyard, staring up at the sky, laughing at absolutely nothing. The songs become the soundtrack to her life, the chords and those raw, honest lyrics an emotional outlet she so desperately craves. Taylor, and her songs, become a confidant, almost a close friend who always knows what to say.

With all that in mind, perhaps it was only a matter of time before she asks for a guitar for Christmas. She’s fourteen, braces and a slight lisp, and jumps up and down like a mad woman when she sees it under the tree.

She practices for three days straight, until her fingers bleed, but Should’ve Said No is the first song she learns off by heart. She yells the lyrics with maybe a little too much passion, but her parents applaud her nonetheless.

Like she said, that’s how it all started.

Because that same Christmas, she realises that screaming her feelings while playing guitar actually feels pretty cathartic. And that if it worked for Taylor Swift, it could work for her. So she writes stuff down, plays around with chords and strumming until the beat on the guitar matches the one in her head. She grabs a page and a pencil and writes and re-writes her innermost thoughts and feelings on the page until they sound the way she wants them to. She plays around with rhyme schemes and structure and everything she’s been taught about in English class, and a thrill runs through her as she does so. It’s the same breathless high she feels when she paints or draws, the rush that comes from creating something.

Her parents sit on the other side of her bedroom door, no doubt exchanging worried glances as she repeats the same verse, same chorus, with only a word changed. She watches them when they think she can’t see, peering through the crack in her door. The conclusion they seem to come to is ‘well, as coping mechanisms go, it’s pretty good, and she’s happy, so who are we to stop it?’.

It takes her four days to finish her first song. And it sucks. But she keeps it, writes down the lyrics and chords in one of the few empty notebooks she has, and there’s no going back from it now. She writes, and she writes, and she writes, near enough every day. She likes to think she gets better with each one. She learns more chords, buys a cheap ukulele the summer after freshman year, tries her hand at piano during a particularly difficult few weeks. She doesn’t plan on doing anything with them. They’re just her little pieces to hold on to. Her therapy sessions outside the carpeted office.

No-one knows about it. She has a reputation to keep up, after all. The loner-by-choice, too-cool-for-school, aloof art freak. Everyone has their roles to play in the ecosystem that is high school and, much as she hates the entire system, that is hers to play. And she plays it well, if she may say so. The fact that hardly anyone knows her past that facade suits her just fine. After all, if people think she doesn’t care, she can’t get hurt. No-one needs to know that Janis Sarkisian actually has feelings.

Even less need to know that she writes songs about said feelings.

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By the time she reaches her junior year, she’s onto her third notebook. She keeps them tucked away in her sock drawer, expertly hidden so only she can find them. Damian teases her about it, calling her “the protagonist of a Disney Channel Original Movie”. She just rolls her eyes and reminds him that “if either of us is gonna be Disney’s first openly gay character, it’ll be you”. He can’t argue with that.

It should be noted that when Janis said that no-one knows about her songwriting, Damian was the obvious exception. He found out just weeks after she started. There’s no keeping secrets from him.

Between all her notebooks, she’s written around forty songs.

Then she meets Cady Heron one day. The human embodiment of a labrador puppy, complete with wide, lost eyes. She likes her instantly, decides to take her under her wing because Lord knows the girl needs it. Cady’s smile is infectious, her laugh like a summer breeze. She has dimples and caramel-coloured hair and really likes maths.

She meets Cady on a Monday.

By that Saturday, song number 41-titled “Dimples and Curls” is more or less complete.

She plays it for Damian, hands only slightly shaking as she changes chords, the strumming short and upbeat, the melody strangely happy for such a bittersweet song.

He applauds her, but the subject of the song hangs in the air even after she’s played the last chord and the music fades. Unsaid, but not unknown. Just like her songwriting, Janis couldn’t keep a crush from Damian if she tried.

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“Hey, check it out.”

Cady drops onto the seat across from Janis, the whole table shaking as she does so. Like a small meteor just hit Earth. Janis looks up from her lunch, pretending like she had been doing her own thing and not watching the door until Cady came in. Pretending like her stomach doesn’t do little flips at the sight of her crossing the cafeteria. She pulls the flyer towards her and hums in amusement.

“The winter talent show,” she reads before chomping off a carrot stick. “Oh, is it that time of year already?”

“Seems like only yesterday we was welcoming the young’uns into this brave new world during the harvest season,” Damian sighs, putting on a delightfully over the top Southern Belle accent, no doubt influenced by their reading of Streetcar Named Desire in English class. Janis cackles, and nearly chokes on her lunch as she does.

“And now the cold winds of winter are descending upon us,” she replies, her accent equally heavy. She bats her eyes for good measure, because she can and because it makes Cady laugh. “Oh but I pray the children will survive this season, it is often rough for them.”

“I am never showing you two anything winter related ever again,” Cady says.

Janis just shrugs and runs her hand through her hair before her eyes go back to the flyer. Clearly, whatever sophomore they got to design it this year did their best; found the prettiest looking snowflakes on Google Images to put on the cartoon stage, decided to write in some swirling, slanted font rather than the start-studded block lettering they usually went for. It’s still the same as it is every year, meaning just as mockable, but she’ll give them points for tying.

“Well, anyone here going for it?” she asks. She looks from Damian to Cady and back again, a teasing smirk on her lips. “Last year and all that.”

“Not sure I can,” Damian sighs. “I mean, I’m booked up with Spelling Bee rehearsals and spring cabaret auditions happening next semester.” He drums his fingers against his throat. “Gotta give the little vocal chords some rest, you know?”

Janis’ response is to sing the lowest note she possibly can before turning to Cady and giving her a pointed look, the corner of her mouth quirked up.

“Who? Me?” Cady’s cheeks turned crimson and she shakes her head so much that the caramel curls bounced around her shoulders. “No way. Damian can take the stage, I’m fine with my calculators and textbooks.”

“You could always solve equations in front of everyone,” Janis says. “I could call out college-level questions from the audience and you solve them in under 30 seconds.”

“I think I’ll pass,” she giggles. She leans forward slightly, eyes glittering, and Janis does her best not to squirm. The effect Cady Heron’s eyes have on her should be studied by scientists. “What about you, Janis?”

“I don’t know.” She thinks back to when she helped on stage crew last year, as well as helping out (or taking over) with the set design. It had been fun, the kind of challenge she needed to keep her mind off the slowly-going-off-the-rails plan. And she was told it looked good on her college applications, because all people can think about apparently is college, college, college. “Maybe. They might need another genius stage manager.”

“And you’ll step in if they can’t find one?” She digs Damian in the ribs for that comment.

“But not performing?” Cady asks, and Janis freezes. Performing had never even crossed her mind before. She’s used to backstage, hell, she likes backstage. It’s not that she has stage fright or anything, and if she had, her stunt at Ms Norbury’s little healing session would have squished it. She had just never thought about it.

But Cady had, apparently.

“I-No, I-I don’t think so,” she stammers out. “Um, I might do backstage again, but not actually doing something, you know, talent related.” She bites her tongue and clamps her lips shut before anything else can come out.

“Okay then,” Cady replies slowly. She gets up from the table, her little empty water bottle in her hands. “I’m going to go for a refill, save my seat.”

“No problem,” Janis says, but Cady’s already jogging away.

She doesn’t know if it’s good or bad that Cady’s known her too long to think of her as cool, and so this kind of awkward babbling isn’t really surprising to her. Instead of thinking about it, she just sets her head on the table and lets Damian rub her back.

“You were nowhere near as bad as you think you were,” he assures her.

“Title of your sex tape,” comes her murmured reply. Damian chuckles and runs his fingers through her hair, like she’s his pet cat. It helps.

“So you’re definitely not going for the talent show then?” he asks.

Her first instinct is to say no, because of course she isn’t, because she never has before and she sees no point in breaking a three-year streak, but the answer catches in her throat. At the same time, something begins forming in her brain, pieces of a melody she’s already known, words filling in blank spots in her brain, and her fingers twitch involuntarily, playing the chords on an invisible guitar. Without a word, she grabs a notepad and pen from her bag and scribbles the words down before she forgets them, quickly becoming breathless just by sitting there. She forgets, for a moment, everything else, the talent show, Cady, even Damian next to her, and just revels in the task and the quick buzz she gets just from writing. Just like that she has one eye on the clock, itching to get home and put her notes into the rest of the song.

But with those notes came an idea, an idea so completely out of left field she almost laughs at it.

“Janis?” Damian asks, just slightly unnerved by her. If anyone else were at this table, even Cady (especially Cady), she would have had to excuse herself and run to the bathroom, or just hope the words stayed in her head long enough for her to get a quiet moment. “Did the Goddess of Music just possess you again?”

“Maybe,” is her response. He doesn’t know it, but she answered both the questions he asked in the past minute.

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She sits on her bed that night, her homework half-done and strewn across the desk, abandoned in favour of the guitar sitting in her lap and notebook open on her bed. She’s been working on his song for the better part of a week, inspiration and motivation seemingly striking and then fading whenever she gets a free moment. Abandoning it has crossed her mind-she’s no stranger to abandoning things that aren’t working-but for some reason she hasn’t quite been able to shake this particular song off.

Maybe it is Euterpe, the Goddess of Music, descending upon her because this song has to be finished, it has to be, Olympus willing it so.

Or maybe it’s because this song is one of the most personal things she’s ever written, a love letter she’ll never send, and the idea of it sitting unfinished drives her crazy.

She plays another chord and sings the line again, changing the ending slightly, and makes the adjustment in her notes.

She’s crazy. This is already crazy, her secret double life as a wannabe T-Swift, but now she’s gone beyond that. Thinking of actually playing it. On a stage. In front of people. She doesn’t care what people think of her, she stopped caring about that a long, long time ago, but holy shit what will people think of her after she does this? Life isn’t like the movies, she knows that much. It won’t be some pretty, softly-lit moment where the crowd sits with teary eyes, Cady runs onstage and kisses her and she’s offered a deal by some big shot producer, and they all live happily ever after the end. What could happen is people think she’s even more of a weirdo than they do now.

Or she gets tomatoes thrown at her head and she’s booed off the stage. That’s a possibility.

She calls Damian, because that’s the only way she sees out of her little thought cul-de-sac. She puts the phone on speaker and props it up against a pillow, keeping her hands free for her guitar and her pen. He picks up on the third ring, just as she’s strumming out a G chord.

“Oh, is someone prepping for her Grammy?” he asks. “You’re still taking me as your date, right?”

“Only if my dog can’t go,” she replies. She taps her nails against the wood, the rhythm too fast and frantic to just be a habit. Yes, she can tell Damian anything, and being nervous in front of him is laughable, but sometimes her body forgets that. “So, I was thinking about the talent show.”

“Oh? You’re going for stage crew again? Cool.”

“No-not exactly.” She knows he can’t see the smile creeping across her face, but she’d wager he can hear it through the phone. A small swarm of butterflies flutters in her chest, leaving her just slightly out of breath. “I… I. think I’m going to try performing in it.”

A burst of laughter comes through the phone, slightly tinged with static, and Janis wishes he were here so she could slap him. Even if it’s not malicious in intent at all, and she’s laughing right along with him. Slapping is kind of a love language for them.

“Okay, okay cool. What’re you going to do?”

“I’ll give you a hint,” she says, and then she plays the opening chords to her latest experiment. She doesn’t add in the lyrics, not yet. Still, she sits back and basks in his applause when she finishes, cackling into her hand. He might be one person, but he’s got enough enthusiasm to match a packed auditorium. “What do you think?”

“I’m into it,” he tells her. “So… that’s the one you’re doing?”

“Think so.” She tosses the pick between her fingers. Like he could feel her smile, she can feel his raised eyebrow through the phone, the elephant in the room poking her with its trunk. “Yes, I know.”

“I didn’t say anything.”

“You thought it,” she tells him, and he doesn’t deny it. She looks back over the lyrics she’s written and re-written. Despite some adjustments, it’s still in essence the same. Still about a girl with pretty hair who smells like vanilla and cinnamon, who has a boyfriend and is unknowingly breaking the heart of a girl with black eyeliner and paint stained fingers. Because her boyfriend is pretty and clean and smells like soap and can do math, and how is the poor art girl even meant to compare to that?

“Yes,” she says after a while. “It is about Cady.”

“Aw, my poor lovestruck songstress,” he sighs. He shifts then, and the air shifts with him. “You sure that’s the one you want to sing? I mean you have dozens of other non-Cady related songs. I’m sure Mr Duvall would love to hear Angry Teenage Lesbian Anthem.”

“First off, I gave that one a title, it’s called Shattered,” she reminds him. “And-” She freezes, the rest of her sentence catching in her throat. He’s right. She could perform one of her other songs, that are already finished and therefore removing the pressure to have this one finished, polished and stage-ready. And of course, it would mean she wouldn’t be standing in front of her entire grade and telling them all how badly she’s in love with her best friend. Showing her deepest secret to the people who have already driven her out of school once. It’s a far safer, potentially less traumatic option for her.

But…

“No,” she says. “I know it sounds crazy but I feel like… I feel like I need to do this.” She swallows thickly and picks softly at the guitar strings. “It’s like… like this way at least I’m telling her, you know? Even if she doesn’t know it.”

Of course, Damian gets it.

“That’s beautiful, babe,” he tells her. “So you’re actually doing this?”

“I’m actually doing this,” she replies firmly. “And tomorrow, I need you to make sure I don’t chicken out before I sign up.”

“Got it. I’ll just order you to do it as Senior Co-Chair of the Student Activities Committee.”

“That’s an abuse of power.”

“Then consider yourself abused baby.” He laughs and she laughs with him, and then she hears something on Damian’s end. “I have to go. A certain little sister of mine has a princess costume that needs attending to. See you later.”

“See you later,” she replies before he clicks off the call. She looks down at her paper, then at her guitar, and thinks about what she just committed to. “I’ve got some work to do.”

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The song goes through four rewrites in the weeks leading up to the talent show. The whole first verse is changed, the chorus scrapped and replaced with a new one, then that one is scrapped and she goes back to the old one. She sits hunched on her floor with a pencil in her mouth, wondering if what she’s written is too personal or not personal enough. If it’s too obvious that Cady, smart cookie that she is, will work it out and that’ll lead them down a new, scary path. She cuts some lyrics that give the game away, opting to replace one about love for numbers with love for learning, because that opens up the pool to half their grade. She writes about Cady’s blue eyes rather than specifically those double dimples that make her melt. Maybe she’s compromising her artistic vision, but it might be worth it if it’ll keep her crush a secret. She keeps the old lyrics tucked in the back of her notebook, just to have them.

Meanwhile, she’s also dealing with the fact that people know she has signed up for the talent show. That Miss Too Cool For School Loner Art Freak Janis is actually performing at a school event. And she doesn’t even get extra credit for it. They’re surprised, and curious, and none more so than Cady. The other girl appears at her side almost instantly after first period, skinny little arms wrapped around her bicep and blue eyes alight.

Oh, the things those eyes do to her.

“Janis!” she squeaks. “I saw-on the sign up sheet-your name! Oh my God, is this a joke? Did Damian put you up to it?”

“No, no, I signed up of my own accord,” Janis tells her. That only makes Cady bounce more, ponytail bobbing up and down.

“Oh wow, that’s amazing!” she says. She stops then, her mouth freezing in its place and her cheeks turning pink. Slowly, she comes down to Earth, like a balloon that had the air let out of it. Janis can almost hear the wheeze. “I mean um, it’s pretty cool, I guess.”

“It’s pretty grool,” Janis replies, and just like that Cady bounces back up again.

“Oh my gosh, what are you going to do?” she asks. “Or do you want it to be a surprise?”

“You think I have some secret knife-throwing talent?” she grins. She hesitates for a moment, looking down at Cady’s excited face, because even if this isn’t telling her… it’s telling her. “I’m… I’m going to sing.” She pulls on the strap of her backpack and avoids Cady’s eyes. “Something I wrote.”

“Okay,” Cady says. “Who are you and what have you done with my best friend?”

“Hey!” she laughs. “I can write stuff. I can be deep.”

“Oh, I have no doubt about it,” Cady says, bumping her arm against Janis’. “But for real, Janis, I can’t wait to see it. I know you’ll be amazing.”

Warmth spreads across her pale cheeks, a pink blush no doubt colouring her face, and she somehow manages to choke out a “thanks” as her brain turns to static. Her only thought is ‘Cady thinks I’m going to be good’, and it’s written in glitter pen across her brain.

“This is going to be great,” she goes on. “Oh, wait until I tell Aaron. He’s got a break in his schedule that week so he’s coming up to see the talent show! Isn’t that great?”

And just like that, Janis’ good mood falls. Her face stays the same, because she’s trained to do it, but everything behind it crumbles.

“Yeah, that’s great,” she replies. Cady squeezes her hand, oblivious, and drags her along the hallway, chatting away about some lion documentary she had watched last night.

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She finishes the song that night. She arrives home with a heavy chest, so full of complicated, messy feelings, and her conversation with Cady still so fresh in her mind, her ears still ringing from the emotional whiplash. Her parents barely get a ‘hello’ as she enters and bolts up to her room, her hands shaking, the thoughts swirling around her brain desperate to be let out.

And let them out she does. She writes so quickly they look more like smudges than words, her fingers flying over rapidly changing chords, her voice broken and panting as she sings. The words almost write themselves, like the song has taken on a life of its own and she’s just along for the ride. She barely remembers to pause, to breathe, so wrapped up in the storm she’s created with just her guitar and pen.

It’s only when she finishes and falls back on her bed that she notices the tears in her eyes. She blinks them away and pulls herself up, her notebook in her hand. It’s done. The perfect blend of her own honest feelings and just enough smokescreen to keep people from knowing who it’s really about.

There’s no backing out now, she thinks. Her stomach drops, like she’s on the top of a roller coaster about to go down. A laugh bubbles up in her throat and leaves her breathless, her head spinning while she’s still laying there.

If holy shit were am adjective, she'd use it to describe how she feels. Because holy shit.

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Being backstage when she’s not on crew is a strange experience. She stands with her guitar slung around her body, in the middle of a current of students moving around her, half with the clunky microphones and walkie-talkies she’s used so many times before. She asks five of them if she can do anything to help-because they’re her people and she needs to do something to occupy her time-until she finally takes the hint and leaves them to it. Stagehands are the most efficient parts of any production, as she told Damian once. They’re a well-oiled machine at this point.

“Yo!” For a second, Janis thinks she imagined the whisper, just one in a jumble of backstage noises, until Damian appears at her side. A tiny ‘shit’ escapes her mouth, her body jerking. Barely anyone bats an eye at her, except him. “Sorry, didn’t mean to spook you.”

“Don’t worry. I think at this point a small breeze could knock into me and I’d crumble.”

“The great Janis Sarkisian gets nervous?” he asks, eyebrow raised.

“Only when she’s doing something incredibly personal and scary in front of her entire grade,” she whispers back. She swallows past the lump in her throat. “Aside from that I’m a beacon of confidence and unshakable will.”

“Hey.” He taps his knuckles against hers. “Remember how scared you were at Norbury’s assembly?”

“You mean after I had my picture all over the school with the d-slur written underneath it?” she mutters. “Yeah, I was shitting myself.”

“And yet, look what you did there,” he reminds her. “You were amazing. And you’re going to be amazing here too. Once you get on that stage, all those butterflies are going to make you fly, kid.”

She smiles, her heart warm, and pressed her face into the crook of Damian’s neck.

She doesn’t know how she got so lucky to have him, but she knows better than to tempt fate.

“Janis Sarkisian?” She lifts her head to find a freshman girl with a headset around her neck looking at her. “You’re up next.”

“Okay.” It’s only now she becomes aware that the last minute of Fairytale Of New York is playing, the notes will soon fade out, and that’s her cue. She turns to Damian and lets him straighten her black cardigan and fiddle with the collar of her shirt. “Wish me luck.”

“You don’t need it.” He drops a whisper of a kiss to her nose. “But good luck.”

She holds her half-heart necklace as he goes, the twin to the one around his neck. It’s as close as she can get to having him with her. Her chest tightens as she makes her way to the stage and she tries to breathe through it, because the next thign she knows, Mr Duvall is announcing her name, and she’s being greeted by a blinding spotlight that thankfully obscures most of her peers’ faces.

“Uh, hi,” she says into the microphone placed out for her. It’s just people , she reminds herself. Somewhere in that crowd, second row, seat 14, is Damian, and she breathes easier. And next to him is Cady, the girl this song is about, and for some reason that straightens her spine and irons out the shaking in her voice. She takes the pick out of its holder and tosses her hair back. “This is a song I wrote about being in love with someone who doesn’t love you back.” She blinks and hopes no-one sees the tears in her eyes. “So sing along if you get into it, because we all know it’s a shitty ass feeling.”

She plays the first chord, and then any and all doubts she had about this flee her. As cliche as it sounds, the song takes over her, and she blows through the nerves in the first verse. The experience becomes cathartic instead, like releasing a pressure valve on her soul. Even with the little diversions she threw in, she hasn’t felt this open and god damn free since last year, paraded on her peers’ shoulders with both middle fingers up. Except now she’s not flipping anyone off, or proving a point, she’s just finally telling someone how she feels, and holy shit, it’s amazing. Whatever the aftermath of this is, she won’t care, it’s worth it just for this feeling.

As she sings the last word, and that final note rings in the auditorium, her hands are shaking, her cheeks wet with tears and her hair sticky with sweat. She touches beneath her eye and her fingers come away stained black. She hasn’t cried in front of people since middle school. She doesn’t care.

The cheers of her classmates ring in her ears, Damian’s whooping the loudest of all, and as she takes her bow, she hopes she’ll remember this moment for a long time.

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“Oh my God!” she’s barely into the auditorium when Cady launches herself at her, arms wrapped around her neck and legs circling her waist. Janis nearly topples over, digging her back leg into the ground just in time, and hugs Cady with the same ferocity. “You were amazing!” she yells into her shoulder, the sound muffled by Janis’ hair.

“Really?”

“Absolutely.” She sets Cady down, but the other girl keeps a tight grip on both her arms. Janis wonders if it’s to keep herself from flying away, given the amount of bouncing up and down she’s doing. “I can’t believe you wrote that! It was so good! You need to record it, Jan. Do you have any other songs?”

“Just a few,” she says. “And I don’t know if I’m in the business of making an album any time soon.” She swings her guitar case a little. “This might have been a one-time thing.”

“Well, even if it was, it was awesome,” she says.

“Thank you, Caddy,” Janis replies. “That means a lot.”

Her mouth runs dry as Cady smiles, all baby pink lipgloss and sparkling eyes and full cheeks. If this were a movie, she thinks, this would be the part where they kiss. No need for talking, or an explanation. Because Cady would have just known. The music would turn soft and twinkly, and the lighting would match it and it would look like they’re in a dream and they’d just kiss, and it will fix all of Janis’ problems. Maybe a single tear will run down her cheek. And then they’ll run off into their new lives as the end credits roll.

How sweet that would be.

But her life isn’t a movie. If she wants anything, she has to go for it herself.

And that includes-

“Caddy.” Her name is delicate on her lips, handled with care. Cady looks at her, giving a simple ‘mm-hm’ in response, and Janis’ heart beats out of control. “That song I just sang, it-”

“Hey, guys.”

Also if this was a movie, Cady’s sweet, lovely, nice boyfriend would not be barging in right now. He’d either be a douchebag who she doesn’t feel bad about hurting, or he’d be nonexistent.

Unfortunately, this is not a movie, and Aaron Samuels exists and is the human equivalent of a squishmallow.

“Hey Aaron.” He slings his arm around Cady’s shoulders, and she leans into his touch almost instinctively. “Janis, you were great up there. I didn’t know you wrote songs.”

“It’s a bit of a new hobby,” she says, her voice hoarse. She clears her throat, and finds a bottle of water being handed to-thrown at-her.

“Hydrate those chords,” is Damian’s greeting.

“This is what I get for being friends with a theatre kid,” she sighs before she takes a drink. She hadn’t realised how dry her throat was until now.

“Okay, so we’re all going for pancakes,” Aaron says. “I take it you two are coming?”

“How can I say no to pancakes?” Janis asks. “Uh, you guys go ahead, I have to get my stuff from the green room.”

“Okay, we’ll wait for you,” Cady says. “Aaron brought his car so he can drive us.”

“Grool.” Cady and Aaron turn around together, Aaron spinning his eyes around his finger and Cady lacing her fingers through his, talking about something she can’t hear. It’s like watching them through a sheet of glass.

Not a movie. Not unless it’s one of those really, really sad movies. Sad homophobic movies.

“You okay?” Damian asks. She snorts at the question. Nothing has changed, so of course she’s okay. But then, nothing has changed, so she’s not really okay.

“I did it,” she sighs. “It’s out there. I told her, unofficially. Whether or not she works it out…” She runs her hand through her tangled hair. “That’s something else entirely.” Damian hums in agreement, a sympathetic look on his face that soon morphs into a grin.

“Hey,” he says. “I’m proud of you.”

“Thanks Mom.” They snort, Janis caught between a laugh and a sob, and squeezes Damian’s hand. She’s not optimistic about any romance in her future, at least where Cady is concerned. She and Aaron are still rock-solid and she’s happy for them, whenever she isn’t angsting about it. It’s a weird combination to have.

And at least she’s done this now. Despite a future for her and Cady not being in the cards for now, she’s glad she did it. The secret isn’t out, not entirely. Just written on the walls in invisible ink.

“Come on,” she tells Damian. “I actually do have to get my bag, and you can use this as an opportunity to double check the ghost light is on.”

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Cady and Aaron keep their promise and wait for them, waving off their apologies as they jog across the parking lot. Cady lets Damian take the front seat with Aaron and slides into the back with Janis instead. Janis frowns, confused as to why she isn’t taking her normal seat up front, and Cady rolls her eyes.

“There was a draw on the way here, and we lost,” she explains. “And now Damian has control of the aux chord,” She gestures with her head to the passenger seat, and Janis turns just in time to see him open his Spotify and scroll through his playlists. As the opening notes to Waving Through A Window fill the car, it’s met with three loud groans. Damian only turns it up louder, and adds in his own backing vocals.

“So, that song you sang,” Cady asks, leaning back in the seat. “Was it about anyone in particular?”

Janis looks down, her hands pressed together in her lap. If this is the moment the universe decided to give her, it’s a really terrible moment. Not only is Cady’s whole boyfriend sitting an arm’s length away from her, but she left her nerve back in the auditorium. Clearly, her and fate aren’t on each other’s wavelength.

“You wouldn’t know her,” she says. “She doesn't even go here.”

“Oh,” Cady replies. Her face falls, but she’s not too put out by it. Why would she be? She nudges Janis’ shoulder, a proud smile on her face, and squeezes Janis’ hand. “Well, if she has someone like you into her and she hasn’t taken the chance yet, then she doesn’t know what she’s missing.”

Janis only thanks her, and quickly changes the subject.

Someday she might tell her for real, but for now she'll stick to the songs.

#mean girls broadway #mean girls fanfic #cadnis #janis sarkisian #cady heron #cadnis ff #cady x janis #space safari #mean girls musical

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