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peralta-guaranteed · 3 years ago

Note

hc of jake and amy hand holding before dating (i’m convinced they did a few times before they ever dated) and also in the beginning of their relationship + getting teased by the squad 🥰

(this has definitely turned out far more emotional than you’d probably thought, anon, but I don’t make the rules when it comes to fic inspiration)

Amy Santiago is sitting in a booth at Shaw’s, laughing at something one of her friends has said, and she feels a warm hand slip into hers under the table. Jake Peralta is laughing next to her, too, but then he’s also smiling at her only, and his hand wrapped around hers squeezes three times. It hits her like a brick to the face, those three little squeezes. She finally understands them.

-*-

He’s lying in a hospital bed, and Amy thinks she’s never seen something more unsettling than a quiet Jake Peralta. The only sound in the room is the beeping of some monitors he’s hooked up to, and the only movement is his chest rising slow and steady. Something it didn’t do about two hours ago, when she was kneeling over him in some alley and screaming while the medics finally arrived and brought him back. It was a fairly ‘minor’ injury in the end, one bullet wound that the doctor’s had to close up, but it had hit some sort of vein that was important and that lost a lot of blood and that stopped his heart for the few moments she remembers stretching like hours in her mind. She doesn’t remember much else, especially not the medic’s or doctor’s explanations. They’d taken her along in the ambulance, because she was his partner, and she was allowed to sit in the hospital room he was recovering in now, because she was his emergency contact, too. She could’ve been nothing after today. Because the bullet from that gun wasn’t aimed at Jake before he pushed her to the side.

Amy looks down at her hands, folded in her lap, pinching each other to remind her she’s awake, she’s here, and so is Jake. Not awake, but here. Still here. They’re squeaky clean, her hands, because she’s spent a good fifteen minutes in the hospital public toilets scrubbing them free of his blood after he was rushed into surgery and she was left behind, alone in the waiting room, her sensible grey pantsuit coloured red all over her arms. She had a list of things to do in her head - contact Captain McGintley to follow the chain of command, and Terry so something would actually get done. Figure out how and who can transport Peralta home and take care of him, if he gets to go home. (He will. He has to. She will take him.) Call Rosa to find out if they booked the perp properly, and that they add assault with a deadly weapon to his rep sheet (not murder, although that’s what he did, that’s what happened). But she couldn’t do any of that, because she was still shaking, her heart was still racing, and all she could see was his blood on her hands, warm and sticky and dark and drying into a rotten brown shade already. So she washed them clean, and then scrubbed some more, and some more, until she felt as red and raw as the wound in his chest had looked in the ambulance when they got his shirt off. (The jacket of her suit is rotting away in the toilet trashcan now, and she’s shivering ever so slightly in only her short-sleeved blouse, but it is clean and there is not a hint of Jake’s injury anywhere anymore, except in his gaunt cheekbones and the pale colour of his face, and the silence of the room.) His hand twitches while she’s staring at her own, and if it’s instinct or reflex of whatever that makes her reach out and grab it immediately, she doesn’t care. His hand is warm under hers, and it twitches again and then wraps its fingers around her and holds her, steady and calm. He blinks awake, a little disoriented, but then he focuses on her and - smiles.

“You’re okay.” He says, and that’s what breaks her in the end.

She doesn’t outright sob or anything, but she does let her head drop so her hair is hiding her face, hiding the tears he doesn’t need to see first thing after waking up from literal death. She feels his hand pull on her to make her look at him, though, and she can’t deny him, even if her tear-streaked face is probably not a good view.

“Hey, no- don’t-” He rasps, his voice still coming back, “I’m okay too.”

She laughs through her tears, a short little snort, but it helps calm her down - and him too, it seems, because he smiles again.

“You’re far more than just okay, Peralta.” She smiles back, and feels his hand tighten around hers, three little, but distinct squeezes.

-*-

She shouldn’t feel this nervous. She’s a cop, a detective. A good one. She’s done this before, and it’s never been nice, but it’s always something she’s gotten through.

But she fears tomorrow’s court date more than anything else in her life right now, which is why she’s trying to drown the thought of it at Shaw’s. The hangover will probably not be helpful with her witness statement that could possibly make or break this ruling, but her panic demands more alcohol. However, the next beer she orders at the bar is intercepted by a larger, more calloused hand than hers.

“Alright, Santiago, that last one was your sixth, and I really don’t need to deal with Seven Drink Amy tonight.” Jake says as he settles down next to her, hands the beer over to Rosa, who leaves them alone at the bar before Amy can whine and complain.

“I need that drink, Jake. It’s my only friend right now.”

“We both know that’s just Six Drink Sadmy speaking.” He pats her arm as she spreads out over the slightly sticky bartop and whines some more.

“You’re worried about tomorrow.” He continues, reading her thoughts like he sometimes does, which is such an annoying thing he can do. His hand is still on her arm. “You don’t have to be.”

“That girl’s entire life is at stake. And the gang boss is going to kill me and her if he gets off-”

“He’s not going to get off. Not if you tell them exactly what you told the lawyers taking your written statement.”

“Says you.”

“Says Sofia.” There’s a weight to those words that hits her stomach, and it’s only partially the fact that a damn defense attorney is on her side. The other part of why those words from the woman Jake started dating just recently hurt her, she doesn’t want to think about. “Look, I’m gonna drive you home, you’re gonna take a hot shower to detox, then you’re gonna get your perfect 8 hours of sleep, show up at court tomorrow in your best, darkest pant suit, and rock this like you rock everything else.” His hand has wandered down her arm to her hand, now, flips it over to hold it, and it’s pure coincidence that their fingers spread and interlock, surely. “Okay?” He asks one more time, and she sighs.

“Teddy can pick me up-”

“Teddy’s at that conference, remember.”

Oh, right. Something that had been lost to memory between drink three and four, the fact that her boyfriend had booked himself into a seminar the week the court date was announced. It’s a really good one, he’d said, if she wasn’t already busy he would’ve asked her to join, too. Already busy. Regular Amy doesn’t get punchy a lot, and maybe it’s her closeness to Seven Drink Amy right now that makes her want to knock him out for that, but she felt that way when she helped him pack his luggage two days ago too, and she was stonecold sober then.

“Okay.” She nods and tries to get off of the barstool, wobbles quite heavily. “Take me home, Peralta.”

He snorts a laugh and obviously swallows down some sort of joke as he pulls her into a standing position, their hands still locked together. She thinks she imagines it at first, but even after she’s sobered up the next day, she remembers those three short, tight, almost painful squeezes before he let go and steered her to his car.

She doesn’t have much time to think about it, or about how she basically held hands with her best friend while both of their partners were out of town, either. Or how he helped her into her apartment and waited until she was showered and had downed some water and aspirin before tucking her into bed. She can’t think about any of that, because she has to get ready for court.

And when she sits down in the witness’ chair, the gang boss on the bench before her staring her down with murder in his eyes, she notices a set of dress blues in the otherwise thin crowd of people who were allowed in to watch the trial. Three rows down, Jake gives her a silent thumbs up when their eyes meet, and she feels the phantom of his hand again, squeezing hers three times before she begins to speak.

-*-

They’re gonna die. She’s certain. They’re gonna die in here, in this cramped little closet, wedged between some industrial shelving and a broken down sink.

Jake had pulled her in and locked the door behind him, squished her against the wall and himself against the door, and killed the radio on her shoulder as well as his own. The last thing they’d heard crackling through it was “four officers down”. Someone had fallen behind her when she ran for safety, and for a second she thought it had been Jake. That he was standing here now, almost pressed against her in the tight space she would usually panic in, that she could feel his erratic breath on her ear, his racing heart under her hands, was pretty much the only comfort she had left.

She wonders how long it’ll last.

The mission had been an absolute bust. They had expected a gang. They had not expected a well-armed mafia. And now officers were wounded, or dead, and they couldn’t use their radio to find out anything, for fear of being discovered. She can hear gunshots and shouts from further away, and it’s only her paranoia that make them sound as if they're getting closer, but Jake is listening just as intently. Amy thinks of Rosa and Charles, who were on the other side of the building. She thinks of Terry, who’s probably trying to reach any of them by radio from his station in the surveillance van. She thinks of Holt, and can’t see where he might be right now, still next to Terry or commanding whatever backup might be coming in or-

She feels Jake’s hand wrap around hers, still pressed against his chest, and realises that she’s been hyperventilating. If she gets any louder, she’ll give away their position. His forehead against hers is cold, colder than he usually is, clammy with sweat, but the simple pressure of it helps her focus. She can hear him breathe deep, slow, exaggerated, and understands that he’s doing it for her. He probably thinks she’s having a panic attack because of her claustrophobia, or maybe all things at the moment combined. He’s not that far off. She breathes with him, feels the air from their exhales swirl between the few spaces were they don’t connect. There aren’t many. If she looks up, she could kiss him. She’s not quite that sure that she’s going to die in here anymore, but she would definitely hate herself if she did and never found out what that felt like, or if her last kiss on Earth was really from Teddy the night before they broke up. But when she moves her head, she meets his eyes instead, pupils blown wide in the darkness around them. He looks scared and terrified, and his heart under their combined hands is still racing, and the last thing he needs is for Amy to confuse him before they go out in a hail of bullets, action-movie-style, which he’d probably love if it wasn’t so real right now. She wants to say something, anything to calm him down, but she can’t speak, and not just because there are footsteps approaching outside their door.

She feels his hand tighten around hers, three times, faster than before. And then he pulls her into a close hug when the door behind his back opens to reveal blinding light, and she realises he’s shielding her, has been ever since he pushed her first into this storage space. He only lets go when they both hear Terry’s voice, and the Captain’s, the first telling them they are safe, the second immediately trying to update them on the situation with the SWAT team. He holds her hand a second longer than the rest of her, and the three squeezes that follow are far softer and slower than the ones before.

-*-

Amy Santiago and Jake Peralta are sitting in a booth at Shaw’s, laughing at something one of their friends has said, and she feels his hand slip into hers under the table. For only a split second, she’s tempted to pull her hand away. It’s still so new and shaky and unsure, their whole thing, yet at the same time it isn’t. It’s been growing for so long, between them and around them, it feels like it’s always been there. But the rest of the squad is still pulling excited faces whenever they get a little closer, Charles still squeals at every mention of their ‘evenings together’, and Rosa has rolled her eyes so hard she almost strained a muscle the first time she heard Amy refer to Jake as ‘babe’ in front of her. It’s all a little bit embarrassing, and sometimes she wishes they’d stuck to just one of their rules, of not telling anyone until they figure it out. But then she wonders, what was there left to figure out? She was with Jake, and she wanted to be with Jake, and deep down, she could see none of that change at any point in time. Forever, possibly.

Charles is still talking, riding the wave of getting their laugh, but then Jake’s smiling at her only, and his hand wrapped around hers squeezes three times. It hits her like a brick to the face, those three little squeezes. She finally understands them. She remembers them from before, from tense moments and situations of fear, from where he’s been there for her at the worst parts. Holding on tight and feeling the three little bursts of pressure, only wondering a long time later if he did it on purpose, or if it was some sort of reflex.

She feels it again now, and she can finally hear it.

I. Squeeze. Love. Squeeze. You. Squeeze.

#B99 #Brooklyn 99 #Peraltiago #Jake Peralta #Amy Santiago #my writing #ficlet

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early20thcenturynerd · 5 years ago

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“Margetta Hirsch Doyle ’45 was a regular student at William & Mary. Her friends called her 'Getta' and she was a Kappa Delta. Doyle kept a diary and wrote about her philosophy quizzes, described how much she enjoyed making Red Cross surgical wrappings and mentioned hours spent spotting airplanes from campus buildings. Doyle was a student during World War II.

During the second World War, William & Mary became a predominantly female campus. While many college-age males fought abroad, women kept up the war effort from Williamsburg. In between their studies and social life, students volunteered with the Student War Council and the American Red Cross. Along with other service work, they, like Doyle, made surgical dressings and spotted airplanes, sometimes in groups and sometimes alone.”

Margetta Hirsch Doyle's Entries for May, 1943:

MAY 1

Happy May Day! It was Saturday and so we didn’t do much. Cary, Beth, Mrs. Dalthud and I went marketing and made out pretty well. Cary and I made the first major mistake of our careers as housekeepers. We bought birdseye fish for dinner (no points) and naturally thought we should keep it frozen in the ice box. By the time Lizzie and Flora arrived there were just so many chunks of ice lieing there. We all howled hysterically over it and had a vegetable plate dinner (I hope the fish will thaw by Monday!) This afternoon Cary and I went down town and to the Wigwam. I wrote some letters, changed the bedding on my bed and generally wasted time - worked tonight. I received a card from Bill Brennan - his 29 day training is almost up.

MAY 2

Such an unusual little day! We slept unusually late and then Beth, Punchy and I dressed to go to church. As we came out of Bruton, Joy Allen pounced upon Punchy and me saying Cary had walked by with two ensigns and a lieutenant j.g. and wanted us to walk up to the Lodge and meet them. Bewildered, we looked at each other with a what-the-heck attitude and walked on up. Sure enough, there was Cary with three naval officers! We soon became acquainted and had loads of fun drinking champagne cocktails and eating dinner. After awhile we came back to the house and played the vic. It was really a terrifically pleasant afternoon. Cary, Punchy and I pored through the want ads and I wrote six or seven letters of application to see how the land lies. I tried to phone Bill Brennan to wish him a happy birthday but couldn't get the call thru.

MAY 3

Things may seem “awfully dismal” at times but I’m really so very lucky and the bright spots of life are so nice. Tonight - brazen hussy that I am! - while down at work I placed a call through to Bill Brennan again. It wouldn't come, but the little operator kept trying (pull!) and finally just after I got back to the house the phone rang and a voice said “Boy! This is wonderful!” Ya huh, ‘twas Willy and gosh it was super talking to him. It wasn't at all like a typical long distance conversation - we just said dumb old things and deep things and you’d have thought we were both in Hollis rather than in Billsburg and Atlantic City respectively. So nice! Oh I forgot to mention that I got a perky letter from him too. I’m beaming obnoxiously. I wish…….. My life has a mysterious element too. This evening while I was out two darling marines came to see me, one of who “was a very good friend of a girl from home.�� Vague, but I hope they come back!

MAY 4

I’ve still glowed all day from last night’s phone call, and even now nice things keep happening. At lunchtime the package man came bearing a gift for me: a lush "bon bon" spoon with an awfully sweet note from “Mom” Brennan -- I was so tickled with it, and love her good. We rushed today informally - Betty Marie Ellett for lunch and two other girls for dinner with the usual accompanying intra-sorority feeling. Initiation for Jinx Richardson, Ann Wilson and Eleanor Ramsdell was last night and so we had a cup service at seven o’clock this morning - then classes, marketing, fun and work. I received real nice letters from Mother and Daddy and a faintly perky one from Bill Boyd. He is trying to stall off his furlough until June when I’ll be home. Gosh, I hope it’ll work. I’m so lucky! Flat Hat mentioned Punchy’s & my badminton defeat.

MAY 5

This morning was the annual convocation for the tapping of the members of the junior class chosen to be Mortarboard and ODK. It was very impressive and full of suspense, since supposedly noone knew who was to be selected. Fran Pendleton was one of the five girls to get Mortarboard and we’re all very thrilled about the whole thing. The other girls were Margie Lentz, Katie Rutherford, Marion Ross, and [Lebe] Seay. Mary Wilson Carver is the new president. Punchy, Carolyn Harley and I went up on Barrett roof sunbathing and got faintly tanned. Then we went shopping for Mother’s Day gifts and had our pictures taken at the telephone office. Per usual when having our pictures taken, Punchy sneered and I had “my fixed look” sat on the camera, but we’re celebrities anyway. Beth & Marty won badminton matched over Gamma Phi.

MAY 6

“Rabbit - rabbit” really worked this month cause things keep getting better ‘n’ better. Today was a usual Thursday: marketing classes (Econ outside in the Sunken Gardens), archery (I’m off the 30 yd line at last) and swimming. After that we went downtown to the official dedication of the U.S.O., with music and speeches, including one by John D. Rockefeller, ‘Jr. ‘Twas sort of impressive. Yearbooks came out today and it’s the best Colonial Echo in years. We spent considerable time in poring over it, laughing and "ohing" and "ahing". Remember the marines I wrote about Monday night? Well, Warren Ripley came back this evening and is awfully nice. He knows Mary Claire Willard from St. Mary’s and she gave him my name. -- small world. He, a goon, Mavis Bunch and I went to the movies (”Truck Busters” was horrible) and then to the Lodge coffee shoppe

MAY 7

I’m awfully tired, and in a bad mood though still awfully happy about everything. Such a nice life? Nothing exciting happened today. I didn't go marketing, but instead went up in the Library tower for two hours - once with Cary and once with Midge - spotting airplanes. I managed to get a bit of studying done for my philosophy quiz which I sleepily took. (B- on last week’s) I went over to the office to get a social card for Warren and ended up talking in Louise’s room; then I wrote letters to both Bills and fooled around. Holly Rickis has come back for the weekend - it’s natural to have her here. Work was bitter - everything went wrong and the time dragged. A “nice voice” called me up and chatted and a sailor walked us home. Such a masculine life as I’ve been having glimpses into. I can’t get over it! Floyd wrote me from Hunter Field, Georgia

MAY 8

The weekend has come and I’ve resolved to purely have fun - and how it has started! This afternoon Beth and I went downtown to do our weekly shopping for odds and ends and then she Punchy and I went sunbathing by the practice house with Danny and Eleanor Ramsdell, It’s really hot too! Warren came by with two other marines to tell me that they were going to Richmond and he mightn’t be back right on time for our date tomorrow night. Seeing the other two marines I promised Beth & Punchy dates tomorrow night - and I dood it. Every few minutes, after we were all together I would say “Do you really want to do to Richmond?” and finally we talked them into staying for a howl of an evening. We saw “Air Force” one of the best pictures I’ve ever seen, and went to the Lodge. Ray and Dick kept wanting to be in Richmond, and kept making all sorts of classic remarks! Such fun!

MAY 9

Happy Mother’s Day -- and what a day! Being hot, we lazily relaxed around the house and didn't quite get to church. I wrote home and Bugsie, changed the bedding on my bed and dressed for dinner. In the middle of it Warren (who wasn't supposed to arrive until late this afternoon) came with Ray, and thus began the second day of my truly unusual experience. Since there isn’t much to do with a date here on Sunday afternoons we went for a walk through the woods and then sat and watched people playing tennis, after which we went to the movies and saw “Air Force” again. Then we went up to the Lodge for champagne cocktails and a howl of a dinner - amusing (!) episode about the time and the tip. What a boy! Mother phoned tonight - and then Harold from Camp Peary phoned me. He sounds nice but you can’t tell. He phoned the telephone co.

MAY 10

Nothing at all new again. Classes, marketing and quite a lot of studying this afternoon! I actually did some English Lit and then typed away on an interview for Psychology, letting my imagination run rampant with information. I really did get from Warren on the subject “Alcohol and You”. This evening there was the last W.S.C.G.A. meeting of the year, and then we went to an Economics makeup, disturbed by retreat’s being blown from the naval chaplains in our right ears. After that, we had song practice and sorority meeting, made vivid by stirring remarks about the state of the treasury and the consequences of not paying fines and the like. We had a dreamy serenade by Eddie Anderson and two other boys complete with guitar and drooled out the window at its romanticism.

MAY 11

I went to classes, and then as usual went downtown with Cary to do the marketing - was amazed that some boxes of puddings had arrived in town - it made our housekeeping have a bright spot for the day. Archery was nice in that I got off the 40 yd line in one try. I must have just been jinxed by the 30 yd line - I have a new lease on life now though. On the way back from archery, I stopped in to see Holly, Kay and Louise and talked to them for awhile before coming back to the house and getting ready to have my picture taken again for the Transmitter, the Telephone Co. periodical. Speaking of pictures, the Flat Hat came out today with our crummy picture and the writeup. Punchy and I are celebrities! Mother phoned about Daddy’s maybe coming down and to say she has the measles - imagine! Harold also phoned me!

MAY 12

Another awfully nice day! After classes and marketing I did my philosophy and then Beth and I rolled bandages for the Red Cross with Mrs. Pomfret. Beth and Punchy played badminton intramurals with Theta and won - I silently stood by and cheered. Warren was here when we got back & stayed till I had to go to work. He wanted a date tonight and Friday night too but I work both nights and so I got out of it very easily. He’s a nice fellow but a little too eccentric to be very enjoyable. In the mail I got a “big” picture of Bill Brennan in uniform. He looks good and it’s interesting to compare it to the other big picture I have of him. He’s so neat and how I’d like to see him! He enclosed a note as did his mom.

MAY 13

Gad! I’m weary! Today was another one of those days where nothing noteworthy happened but little thing after little thing kept piling up till I haven’t got much energy left. Why do I bother to mention classes, marketing and my athletic afternoon? I’m stuck on the 50 yd line in Archery and in swimming after I emerged from the pool, I slipped, leaped into the air and fell completely flat on my back -- I’m sore and my posterior hurts! At work everyone seemed irritable (probably just because I was) and things didn’t seem to get done right. It’s being paycheck night was the one bright spot -- by the way, with my remaining checks I’ve decided to pay for my $25 room reservation fee besides my ticket home. Then I’ll feel I’m doing something worth while and useful with my earnings.

MAY 14

Life keeps getting better ‘n’ better, excepting for some things of course, the chiefest among which being a meeting of two representatives from each sorority to which I went with Dr. Pomfret, Miss Wynne Roberts, Charlie Duke and Vernon Nunn all about eating in the dining hall next year and reductions (?) in rent, involving all sorts of amazing involvements. The fur was flying as we got in truly deep discussions. There’ll be another even hotter meeting next Monday evening. All the things that keep happening! Such a nice thing happened at work tonight! A Mr. Curyea, who has been calling New York to his wife quite frequently from Camp Peary asked me my number and when I came back from my relief a lush box of candy was waiting for me with a card which said “In appreciation of the service that I have received in my calls to New York City”. It was one of the sweetest things anyone’s ever done for me. Bugsie comes tomorrow! Life can’t get much nicer!

MAY 15

Such a beautiful life. Bugsie was supposed to come this morning but got lost through connections and finally arrived at 3:00 P.M. on the bus; Gosh! It was super seeing her again! We came back to the house and then walked around campus -- had a screwy time at dinner and afterwards getting dressed for a mass blind date - eight couples. It was super with us walking to the Lodge, Chowning’s, Rexalls #2 and going to the dance in Blow Gym with eight army lieutenants. It was a crazy evening but loads of fun, and I hope Bugsie had a kick out of it. Other lovely events: a cute letter from Jimmy Mooney and a perky one from Bill Boyd signed “All my love”. (slurpy, huh -- I’m so glad!) News that Bill Brennan is stationed at Hamilton College, N.Y. Oh things can’t get better

MAY 16

My poor feet! We crowded so much into this little day! First we went to Bruton for a service made completely memorable by the presence of British Admiral Pound, General Wavell & others. It seems that General Marshall and the other important allied military leaders have conferred in Williamsburg about future campaign tactics. As we prayed in church (all of us) it made me realize how insignificant I am in the powerful drama being enacted now. After church Bugsie and I went to the Lodge for dinner and then went sightseeing at the Capitol and Governor’s Palace, stopping at Lavery’s on the way. We went over to see Dossie and had supper with her in the dining hall. We had a typically crazy evening together in the house - Kay came over and we walked her home. Whee - so much done this weekend.

MAY 17

Still everything keeps on happening! Bugsie and I went downtown and did some marketing before I saw her off on the morning train - it was so swell having her here! This afternoon I attempted to do some studying and ended up by writing letters and indulging in bull sessions - also became a bit dreamy over a card and six page letter from Bill Brennan from Hamilton College announcing that things look awfully good so far as our seeing each other once or twice this summer is concerned. (Lovely thought!) This evening Becky and I went to the sorority representatives meeting for setting the rent problem with the administration. They’ve made concessions but even with having 2 extra girls in the dining room our individual room & board will increase about $25 a semester. Oooh! Touching last sorority meeting of the year.

MAY 18

Ooooh! I’m tired! Punchy and I slept through Philosophy, and I got up for the marketing sort of sleepily. In Economics I hesitantly began to read my report on Agriculture (1940-1942) and Doc Heidingsfield said it was one the best: therefore I love him good. This afternoon I graduated from the 50 yd line in archery and was happy to go in swimming on account of its being so very hot. At work tonight there were too many of us to record so I just sort of sat and was errand girl - terrifically boring - it’ll be sort of good not to work anymore. Mother called tonight to tell me that Daddy’s coming down this weekend - it’ll be swell and I’m awfully glad, but I can’t push off studying for exams much longer!

MAY 19

Today was the day when my conscience finally pushed me to the point of doing some studying - English Lit. - and I really got quite a bit of it accomplished, considering all that I have to do. So much work all at the end of the year (I know: it’s my own fault!) at 3:30 P.M. Beth, Punchy Carolyn and I took time out for trek towards the Wigwam for milkshakes and tin roofs to brighten our dreary outlooks on life. At work tonight I learned Rate and Route and that’s all the news there is about me. Mimi Jardine became engaged to MacGregor (a lieutenant in the navy who seems swell). Gollee - that’s the third in one little week for the KΔ house. Carolyn Harley agreed to take George’s miniature on her five hours off “campus” with him Saturday night, and Marty and Tommy are finally all set too. Such romance!!

MAY 20

No more classes or anything, ceptin’ exams - I still can’t believe it -- Honest! ‘Tis all over but the shouting and I’ve even made up my double gym. Archery, with a tournament, was terrifically hot, and so it was super indeed to go swimming even though we didn't have a regular class. Now I can go on towards being a Junior (depending on my exams natchally!) I got a letter from the New York office of the American Tel and Til Co. telling me to come in, in June to see about a job. At least it’s something definite that I can look into to see what they have to offer instead of wandering around completely aimlessly. Mrs. Dalthud took over the marketing today; and we’re really elated about it. Three cheers! I washed my hair tonight and am comparatively smooth! So much studying to do and so little time to do it in.

MAY 21

So many things have happened again today. I went downtown and then paid my $25 room reservation deposit out of my savings. At ten o’clock the train came in and Daddy got off after a hectic trip. He, Cary and I went to the Lodge and found he’s rooming with a Marine major who is quite a character and has wild parties each night. Poor dad - he came here for a rest too! We had lunch in the dining room and then I read over some philosophy notes, just for the heck of it. More relaxing and then Punchy and I went to work for the last time. I’m glad it's over in a way cause it’s getting sort of boring not to be doing anything new, but we’re going to miss the neat gang down there. A senior party back at the house with lush lovely reminiscences, singing, munching on candy bars, punch and lollypops. Such wonderful girls!!!

MAY 22

Day after day, things pile up! I went up to the Lodge and met Daddy for lunch, then coming back to campus for an Economics Review class. Warren Ripley and his mother (down to see him) came over to the house and then they went to the movies with Daddy and me to see “American Empire” one of the corniest Westerns I’ve ever seen. - ‘twas horrible. Beth and Punchy went up to the Lodge to meet us and we had a hysterical evening, including a yummy STEAK dinner, a trek to the major’s room, (meeting him and some of his gang.) and chatting with Chuck Gondak and other interesting people. We laughed and laughed together and really enjoyed ourselves. Marty became officially engaged to Tommy with a lovely ring. Mmmm! Perky letter from Floyd.

MAY 23

Another day at the Lodge! Carolyn Harley and I walked up to Bruton to meet Daddy for church. Reverend Wood, from Toronto, Canada, preached the sermon which was one of the best I’d ever heard (personification of the Cathedral in Coventry and St. Paul’s in London - most unusual but stirring!) Kay, Lou Holly and Danny came up to the Lodge for dinner and more idle chitchat. Kay, Lou and Holly left soon after dinner to do some studying. but Danny stayed and the three of us relaxed in the sun. We had a bite (a bite, I say?) to eat in the coffee shoppe and then I came back to the house and dove into my English Lit. - my mind’s bleary as it always becomes at this stage of the game (and I haven’t even started to study yet!) Harold called tonight!

MAY 24

All morning I grinded over English Lit till I could scream - I’m so sick of the darned stuff! Daddy came up to the house to meet everyone and then we had a sandwich in the Greek’s. This afternoon we went back to the Lodge and sat around talking. Oh, and yes, I did some more English Lit. Dossie Hostetter came up for dinner and we reminisced some more. All the gals down here are so neat! I said Goodbye to Dad till a week from Thursday, and then came back to the house to cram some more. Such monotony! I received another cute letter from Bill Brennan and mail from mother.

MAY 25

Dad left this morning on the morning train but along that time I was hibernating in Wren with my English Lit. exam. Twas really a corker - most of it was fair, but as always I met my Waterloo on the spot passages. At least the darned thing is over and I’ll never have to think about English Lit. again. (one exam down and four to go: Eureka!!) This afternoon I stopped at Barrett with a birthday present for Holly, went to the Wigwam and eventually settled down to studying Psychology of the interview, rather halfheartedly. My brain can’t stand too much concentrated studying all at once. Gee, I’m living and breathing for a week from now when it’ll be all over. Such fun as it’s been though. A postcard from Harold.

MAY 26

Apologies, Diary, for the monotony of these entries but the fact remains that I’m a study bug and nothing else. My only communion with the outside world was a trek to Casey’s for shampoo with which to wash my hair; and after that I returned to Philosophy and Economics. Such a broadening intellectual viewpoint as I’m developing! Much excitement over Jinx Richardson! Supposedly she spent the night in town with Bill Lugar already married and is being shipped. Rumors are spreading fast and furiously. ‘Tis a shame cause she really is a neat girl inspite of all the confusion in which she’s been involved. Letters from Mother and Bugsie, saying she has to have her wisdom teeth dug out of her jaw. Poor gal! Also packages & empty cartons from Dad.

MAY 27

Another day of pure studying! I’d much rather have exams day after day, than sit and cram Psych., Econ. and Philosophy into my head at the same time and then wait to find out how much I don’t remember. I can picture me writing Psychological answers on my Economics exam! All morning and part of this afternoon I spent over at the Practice House reviewing Econ. (see! I said I was in a rut!) with Danny. It helped to see the various emphasis placed on things. Then this evening inbetween perpetual feasts (from boxes à la Hollis) and a phone call from Mother, Beth, Punchy and I rambled over Psych. I got a card from Bill Boyd - he’s been on maneuvers and is going out again - doesn’t lead to a very satisfactory correspondence; but when the real time comes……

MAY 28

My brain just keeps on getting wearier and wearier. This morning I had my Psych exams, and this afternoon Econ., both of which were entirely different from what I’d expected. Unless Doc Heidingsfield is terrifically lenient - there goes my A! Good and amazing news though: I got a B as my final grade in English Lit. Dr. Crane mustn’t have counted all my mistaken spot passages very much. I love him dearly for it. - for bringing my C up to a B when I hadn’t expected a C definitely. Then too, I learned I’d gotten B on my last Psych exam (taken weeks ago!) So, excepting for what I did on my exams today, scholastically life’s looking up. After supper, Beth, Punchy and I took a longish bike ride and it was such fun! Twas my first actual ride and rather long too. A letter from Colbie and cards from Dad.

MAY 29

All my stiff exams are now over. Three huzzahs! Philosophy this morning was completely fair and one of the nicest exams I’ve taken this period. Now there’s only Spanish left. This afternoon we were fed up with the utter filth of the room (I’m not kidding either.) and so again moved beds, dusted, vacuumed, and rolled the rug in moth balls. Then the trunks were moved in and the room looks like a confused mess of the nth degree. I thought I’d lost my keys of the trunk and called home; Mum is sending down the duplicated and “All’s Well that Ends Well” We packed, sold our books in the Wigwam (only collected $2.55 for three books though!) and revisited the telephone company.

MAY 30

The last day of studying and working a la intellect until September - I can scarce believe it yet!! We didn’t go to church but personally improved ourselves, while I did Spanish and Beth and Punchy finished packing their trunks. Then Janie Beth Punchy and I ran a final hasty comb through our hair and went to the Lodge for claret and dinner. It was smooth and we had a lovely reminiscent time, catting and chatting about people. Gad, how I’m going to miss the super Seniors. I’m not at all anxious for the end of the year to come. It’s all been one continuously mellow feeling full of laughs and a few almost-tears which have made Kappa Delta and all the super gang in the house so near and dear to me!

MAY 31

Such a snap of a Spanish final with translations of sentences like “How are you?” - would that they all had been like that! Anyhoo, it’s over and I’m beautifully and blissfully free. This afternoon I pulled open drawers; dumped things on my bed; and by a process of elimination, packed my trunk. I love to pack, and really enjoyed it. With frequent trips to town for returning extra board money and doing last minute shopping, the afternoon sped by till time for Cary, Janie, Mimi Boone and I to see “The More the Merrier,” a howl of a movie about the Washington housing problem, starring Charles Coburn, Jean Arthur and Joel McCray. Darling. Letters from Daddy, Audrey and Bill Brennan.

#1943 #1940s #history #diary #diaries #journal #historical diary #william & mary #womens history #long post

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calleo-bricriu · 5 years ago

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Don’t ask why I keep subjecting myself to this, because I don’t have a good answer.

More of this awful book.

Skimmed the rest of chapter 13. Nothing terribly interesting, Mizpra being all excited for her mother possibly having a stroke when the train's altitude changes, talk about how weak and pitiful Burke is (and, for some reason, to keep him from "catching cold" she makes him strip and wrap up in two wool blankets which seems like it'd be incredibly itchy), Mizpra tries to hasten the whole "give mom a stroke" thing by getting her mother day drunk.

A lot of references to alcohol being a stimulant again which, no.

Burke shows a little concern for Mizpra keeping her mother drunk and outside on an observation platform all damn day, so she tells him to go back inside and stop bothering them.

Wasn't at all concerned that her mother's face was turning blue because that's a normal thing I guess, shakes her mother awake, and of course her mother has the sroke and now she's just, "Oh shi--wait a minute, I didn't consider what might happen if the stroke kills her!" Not the best planning, Mizpra.

So she starts drinking and talking at her possibly dying mother about how she's going to ruin Obera's life.

And, like every poorly written villain in fiction, she says something ridiculous to herself: "Hell hath no horror; Heaven hath no hope."

At this point, I'd agree with her, only just in regards to this book.

Chapter 14 and we're back to Leigh.

Rev. Bald, we find out, knows a lot about alcohol and doesn't like his collar or waistcoat.

Finds out in a letter from Mizpra that he'll get paid once she's got proof of her brother's life being in shambles again.

For the time, five thousand per year as long as Leigh is in prison isn't all that bad; he really needs to step his game up because so far all he's done is invite the guy to hang out once, got shut down by Obera, and left.

"[...] literally poured the liquor down his throat," yeah, that's how drinking works.

He goes off for a good eight or so pages about how it's no crime to be poor out of absolutely nowhere. I mean, he's not wrong but why is he talking about it to the walls of his library?

Oh look, Leigh came to visit under false pretenses and seems to suspect that's the case but decided not to worry his on vacation wife and did exactly what he told her he wouldn't: Hang out with Rev. Bald.

Because he's a genius, he suspects Rev. Bald is being paid off by Mizpra to fuck up their lives and also thinks he'd sell her out if he was ever discovered. At this point you know damn well Leigh is basically the author because there's no reason at all Leigh would even HAVE that suspicion unless he'd been reading along with the rest of us.

Anyway, he got lured out there under the pretense of seeing or looking at some case of a morphine addict who isn't actually there.

So, because Leigh is a genius and understands everything, including more than most of those who study theology, Rev Bald pretty much plays right into that and says vague, sort of wrong-ish things just so Leigh the Genius will be compelled to correct him at length to, you know, remind everyone that he's a genius and better that everyone at everything.

Because he's a genius and you're not.

And Leigh sits there picking apart religion which might have been interesting if he weren't just sort of repeating himself with more and more pretentious wording.

"Do you know of any religion that has really made man better?" is a perfectly reasonable rhetorical question, at least.

Ah, and Leigh is into Darwin.

But, hey, Rev. Bald tricked Leigh into going out with him. I mean, Leigh would probably just say he's playing along but, you know...

They end up going to a dodgy district where everyone still somehow remembers Leigh from his drinking days. Probably should have picked a different neighborhood, Rev. Bald. It's like you didn't even research your mark.

We find out Leigh doesn't want to go to the first bar because he legit spent an entire week there without bathing or eating or sleeping just drinking and, I have to be honest, if I'd done something like that and was sure the people there would remember me, I probably wouldn't want to go back there either.

They end up in a bar and Leigh is, so far, being good and not drinking and has decided that Rev. Bald was going to be HIS victim--not sure what kind of victim, probably just to out him as working for Mizpra.

Oh hey, it's not just a bar, it's a brothel! Or, as Leigh's narrative describes it, a "dark, opprobrious den of crime and shame." Turns out he doesn't like makeup either, especially red lipstick because, as we all know, only whores wear that.

And now he's remembering some murder scene in the same place because not only is he a doctor, author, scholar, philosopher, and Merlin knows what else, he's ALSO a detective I guess!

I have to admit the memory of one of the workers at the place punching an actual, been there long enough to be bloated corpse because when you do that it makes apparently amusing sounds for the crowd of other people there who also found this amusing was, in and of itself, so absurd it made me laugh.

I'm sure it was meant to be horrifying but you can't read something like, "Over the prostrate victim bent the diseased-eaten harridan. She was amusing her companions by punching the inflated tissues, laughing and shrieking at the crackling, whistling effect it produced, while the dank denizens of the place gave vent to their pleasure by libidinous expressions and Paphian oaths," and NOT laugh.

Also the author is trying to tell us that, when he went to pull the punchy prostitute away from the corpse, her wig came off and her brain was straight up exposed through her "rotting skull".

For a fucking doctor you'd think he'd know that there is no actual way she'd be alive so unless he hallucinated this zombie prostitute...

So he thinks he's being taken to see the morphine addict and, of course, it's just a prostitute. She might also be a morphine addict but not the one Rev. Bald was describing as near death.

"Various odors in the room seemed to run in strata, as each step brought visitors to a different zone of pungent, offensive odors."

What are they?

Cigarettes, beer, lobster somehow, butter, cheap perfume.

I've been in worse rooms.

So she apparently IS the morphine addict he was talking about earlier, not like Leigh believes it, and Rev. Bald is going to just go ahead and leave the good doctor alone with her.

Leigh's first, uh, method of examination is to lift her arm, stroke her armpit, then drop her and move closer to the light to...look at his fingers. What the hell?

She was cool with it the first time but when he did it again she kind of freaked out which is perfectly understandable.

So there was a guy hiding in the curtains that was meant to jump Leigh but, Leigh being Leigh and good at everything, noticed him first and gave him a one punch knock out because Leigh is just that awesome.

And somehow Leigh, Rev. Bald, the woman, and the unconscious man are all locked in this nasty little room, the woman is going to apparently beat the hell out of Bald and broke a bottle over his head then, satisfied with that, shouts over to Leigh to continue beating the hell out of Rev. Bald because he'd set up the other guy to jump him.

Probably not a good idea to take Leigh to a brothel where everyone knew him.

She keeps smacking Bald in the head with a glass bottle and finally Leigh stops her before, y'know, she kills him. His reasoning for that was that killing him would be inconvenient for everyone which is fair enough.

Short conversation of, "Well if either one of them is dead we're both screwed, let's clean up the blood and I'll go get a police officer or whatever."

He comes back and--she's tried to redo her makeup to get back to work but there's this line about her hiding her powder puff: "[...] which she quickly hid in the bosom of her waist"--I don't think I want to know where she put that powder puff but I really hope she washes it before using it on her face again.

The lady then starts lecturing the mostly not conscious guy on the floor of her room about how it's his fault she's a prostitute somehow; based on how she's talking about money, sounds like she's one of his girls.

And that's it for chapter 15.

Chapter 16 is some flashback from the brothel woman about how she met Leigh; of course, since he's a genius doctor he offered, for free, to give her "deformed and useless" child whatever operation it is he needed. It's never specified, just that the kid is "deformed".

Also a lot of references to "dirty Poles" because it's gross to have to listen to Polish in an emergency room I guess.

Anyway, he's like The Saint Doctor who gives free medical care to everyone because he's a genius (of course) and none of the other doctors understand him. Also, he was just paying for everyone's medical care out of pocket because at some point, through one of the time skips, he went from jobless drunk to highly esteemed and rich author, lecturer, doctor, and scholar.

Getting really tired of Leigh.

She gets jolted out of her daydream when the train stops.She asks the "kindly old Irishman" who was cleaning up the station if she could hang out, he figures she's sober, so he says she can and she goes back to daydreaming about Leigh.

Whatever was wrong with her "deformed" kid was fixed and he's apparently recovered and Leigh arranged for the kid to be basically put in a foster home at some farm because that was apparently legal at one point, to just--give other peoples kids to someone else with no oversight.

Her name is May, we find out two chapters fucking late.

And she was somehow the thing that got him to clean his act up because that's how addiction works.

Now she's not daydreaming anymore because the train is about to arrive.

Chapter 17 is more of the same of these two catching up and talking about Rev. Bald being kind of a dick.

Also, who talks like this? "In his presence the finer feelings of her sex were aroused, her self-respect was active; and he knew it."

REALLY tired of Leigh now.

Basically, between really awkward sort of flirting we find out what anyone reading figured out several chapters ago: Mizpra is a terrible planner when it comes to remotely murdering people and Rev. Bald is proof of that because he basically fucked it up the first night.

And now he's going to go introduce his prostitute friend to Mops.

I feel like that's something he should have discussed with Obera first?

Ah yes, back to "masculine voiced women" who are, of course, matrons at some kind of--I don't even know what at this point, and I don't really care but of course, the women the author wants to have us view as bad are always mascluline in some way and are occasionally also fat and clumsy.

Like he's got any room to talk. I've seen photographs.

Oh of course, a religious boarding house for children of prostitutes where the manly, fat, clumsy women routinely berate the children.

In fairness, places like that did exist until fairly recently so I'm okay with the author kind of dragging them.

Ah, yes, Obera, gone from child-like and saucy to, "[...] radiantly beautiful, and in that full activity of healthy womanhood, which only true love and motherhood can develop."

Anyway, she starts begging Leigh to just straight up murder Mizpra, has a crying fit, then falls asleep and he starts waxing poetic about how her tiny little woman brain can't fully understand the situation.

Of course, Obera doesn't want the prostitute to see Mops because she's a "horrid, bad woman".

And that's it for chapter 17.

#this is the worst #books #antique books #I mean at least de sade got straight to the point of boring people by seeing how edgy he could be #this has been 17 chapters of nothing

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spooky-ghostwriter · 6 years ago

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Dressed to Kill - Chapter Eighteen

<– Previous Chapter

Next Chapter –>

It was not exactly forty years before the conversation between Vercingetorix and Garrick on the cactus farm, but it was close enough for all intents and purposes. At that time, Garrick's primary assistant was a woman. Garrick thought back to what her name had been. Helen was what Garrick remembered, so that was what he chose to tell Vercingetorix.

Garrick kept the original dryad seed, the one that had ignited all of his research, in a small glass cube on his desk. It was a memento for him – the ultimate catalyst that had led him into the world of the impossible. Whenever his research failed to progress as quickly as he'd like, funding was low, or there was some other kind of undue stress, he could always gaze at the seed and remind himself of his greatest accomplishment.

This was one of those days. Garrick exhaled deeply. He felt his frustration subside as he stared at the seed.

To his slight embarrassment, Helen had chosen that moment to enter the office.

“You'd have something to watch if you actually planted it,” said Helen.

Garrick laughed.

“Maybe,” He agreed. He leaned back in his chair. “We're so close, Helen. The merging of animal and dryad DNA is theoretically possible. But to create a true dryad, like the ones from the legends, an insect or a mouse won't do. We need a human.”

“I know. You've said that before.”

“Ideally a child. Someone young who can adapt to the process as they grow.”

“A... child,” Helen repeated. “How old?”

“As young as possible,” Garrick said, leaning back in thought. “A newborn would be best. But even... six, no, five years old. Five would be the cutoff.”

“Garrick, you can't subject a five-year-old child to – ”

Garrick tried to keep from rolling his eyes as Helen began her speech. He caught a few words about consent and medical ethics, but for the most part it was the same boring monotony that he'd heard countless times from all sorts of people. Evidently, and to his incredible disappointment, Helen was no different. He made a note to himself about finding another new assistant.

One word in Helen's diatribe caught Garrick's attention – the word 'parents'.

Ah, Garrick thought, watching in interest as the woman tried to hold back tears at her own rant. Perhaps that's where I should start – children with no parents.

“Once I had that thought in mind,” Garrick continued, “I did what I could to find and secure an orphan child. Eventually I found one to my liking – a young boy who was abandoned by his parents so young that he didn't even know his name. I'm curious, John Doe, did you ever look into finding them?”

“I did not,” Vercingetorix managed to say. The pain in his chest had improved, but only marginally; it was now a burning sensation instead of a piercing one. “I found a new family.”

“Yes, and I was very proud of you for that!” Garrick said. He sounded oddly genuine.

“Now – do you honestly expect me to believe your story?” Vercingetorix asked. “That you implanted some seed into me forty years ago, when you look younger than me now?”

“You do realize you're holding my notes on how a girl in your employment turns into a tank, don't you?” Garrick countered. “Is it truly that hard to believe that I, a person who attained knowledge from mythical beings, was able to modify my own aging? It would certainly benefit the dryads if their emissary was not affected by the pesky human concept of age.”

Vercingetorix grit his teeth. It was easier to tolerate Garrick's story when he'd felt it was a complete lie. But when he had such a simple answer for the main hole in his story, Vercingetorix felt he had to reconsider the entire thing.

“So you planted some seed in me when I was a child, and then just let me run off to create Alesia,” Vercingetorix reiterated. “Without monitoring me or anything of that sort?”

“I monitored the seed's development over a few months,” Garrick said idly. “When I found that it hadn't actually integrated itself into your biology, I called the experiment a failure and let you go along your business. It was only recently that I found out where the dryads I revived were going, and that they were chasing after that seed. However, given that you put so much effort into seeking out the impossible, as dryads like to do, it could be that the dryad seed has affected you in some way.”

No... there's no reason to believe what this man says.

“Still skeptical?” Garrick asked. “Let me ask you this, then. What made you think that this cactus farm was suspicious? I just told you that dryads seek out other dryads. Perhaps you had a feeling – some sensation – that this farm was worth investigating? I wonder how far in advance you knew that dryads were approaching Alesia each time they came.”

Vercingetorix recalled each and every one of those events in perfect clarity. He could no longer completely deny what Garrick told him.

The look on Vercingetorix's face must have told Garrick what he wanted to hear, for he now wore a sickening smile.

“I've been thinking,” said Garrick, “Perhaps my experiment ended a little too soon. What would you say to coming back to my new and improved facility? If the seed has indeed begun to influence you, I'm curious what wonderful things I could learn about you now.”

Vercingetorix shot Garrick a stare as piercing as Garrick's own. Thinking back to this moment later, he felt that he may have missed an opportunity to get even more information, but his reaction was immediate and instinctive.

“Like hell.”

“To be honest, that's about what I expected you to say,” Garrick said, sounding crestfallen. “Still, between my progress over the past forty years and your combination with the seed not being as complete of a failure as I'd expected, I've decided that there is more I can do even without you. I've researched dryads in all of their possible forms, but I must have missed something when it comes to humanity. Humans are indeed capable of things that even I, with my knowledge gifted from the dryads, could not have imagined. I want to see just how far dryads can be advanced.”

Vercingetorix stared at the paper in his hand in horror.

“You want Tsukiko.”

“Yes, that's right. I first realized what I may have missed when I saw your other stage magician transform into a tank. Freya, was it? A shame the dryads weren't able to capture her alive as I'd wanted. But that's all right. I have you to thank for this second chance.”

The farmhouse door, a floor above, slammed open.

“Vercy!” Galen's voice cried. “Are you here? We've finished up with the cacti!”

“I see those were a failure,” Garrick said. “Oh well. It's all a learning experience, is it not?”

“Galen! Ravindra! Henry! All of you come down here!” Vercingetorix ordered.

“Oh?” Garrick asked. “I was hoping we could talk more, you and I.”

A faint wind began to blow through the basement. The papers in Vercingetorix's hand and those on the desk behind him started to flutter. Then, the wind picked up. A trail of leaves blew from what looked like out of Garrick's suit. With each one, Vercingetorix realized that less of the man was visible; he was like a jigsaw puzzle falling apart. After a dozen or so large blue leaves fell onto the wind and began to get swept away, Garrick was gone completely.

Galen hurried down the stairs, but paused in confusion as a trail of wind and leaves blew past his face.

He, Ravindra and Henry made their way down to the basement, but it was too late. Garrick was gone; the wind carrying the leaves died down as suddenly as it had picked up.

“What... was that?” Galen asked.

Vercingetorix shook his head.

“Flesh and blood, he said...” Vercingetorix muttered.

He looked at the stagehand, firebreather and mime.

“We need to get back to Alesia. Now.”

“I don't see why I'm here,” Tsukiko said in frustration.

“Because,” said Stiletto. “You don't stay still properly during shows. We need to practice.”

Tsukiko frowned, staying as still as possible as a knife flew by her ear and sank into the crates behind her. Miss Isle, standing a couple crates higher on the stack, jostled slightly at the force of the knife, but still continued to juggle her bowling pins without issue.

“Not what I meant.”

“Oh, you mean why are any of us here?” Miss Isle asked. “Like – what's our purpose in life? I think mine is to juggle stuff, personally. Yours is probably stage magic, right?”

“No,” Tsukiko said dully. She found it hard to properly express herself without raising her hands, but kept them at her sides so that Stiletto could toss a knife below her armpit.

“What I mean is, why aren't I at the cactus farm with Galen and the others?” Tsukiko asked. “Why am I here, at the circus, in this very instant?”

Miss Isle caught her bowling pins.

“I'm no philosopher,” She said, “but wouldn't that just be because Vercy didn't ask you to come along?”

“She's not wrong,” Stiletto agreed, weighing a couple knives in her hand. After a moment, she threw both with the same hand and they embedded themselves into the wood on either side of Tsukiko's throat.

“I'm serious! Why didn't Vercingetorix ask me to come along to the cactus farm?” Tsukiko cried. “Why did he bring Galen and his punchy-pants instead of me and my military vehicle?”

“Okay, first of all, I'm going to start calling Galen 'Punchy Pants' from now on,” Miss Isle promised, beginning to juggle once more. “And second of all, you can't spend all day every day killing dryads. Take a day to yourself once in a while. Sleep in, plan some magic, hang out with your snake, have Stiletto chuck knives at you... you know. Relax.”

“Besides, we're the main people who can defend the circus while they're gone,” Stiletto added.

“Maybe I should just start wearing the Tank Top by default,” Tsukiko muttered.

“I'd totally do that if I were you!” Miss Isle said. “Religalia don't work for me.”

“Oh? Why's that?” Tsukiko asked, looking up to meet her eyes as best she could without moving her head. From Vercingetorix's earlier explanation, she understood that Freya's death had affected the other performers too much for them to use Religalia, but from what she knew, Miss Isle was a recent hire who probably would have never met Freya in the first place.

“She doesn't trust herself with a tank,” Stiletto said simply.

“I do too!” Miss Isle retorted. “I just don't trust that anyone else would trust me with a tank!”

“Aw, that's not true. I'd trust you!” Tsukiko said sympathetically.

“Hey Miss Isle, how many injuries have you had this year?” Stiletto asked.

“Uh...”

Miss Isle began counting on her fingers. As she did, one of the bowling pins she'd forgotten she was juggling bounced off her head, and the other two rolled off the crate.

“Including that one,” Stiletto said.

“Well fine, if you're counting all the minor bumps and scrapes and shrapnel, it's a lot, okay?!” Miss Isle sputtered. It was hard for Tsukiko to tell if she was actually angry, for her high voice and smile-exaggerating make-up would have hid it, but Tsukiko knew her well enough by now to guess that she was joking around.

Distracted by the thought, Tsukiko nearly forgot about Stiletto's knives. One flew by her nose, and she flinched.

“Okay, we're done,” Stiletto said. “You're too daydreamy right now.”

Tsukiko was not entirely unhappy to hear this. She stepped away from the crates and turned. She had a very noticeable outline by now; nearly fifty knives had traced a near-perfect silhouette of Tsukiko in the wooden boxes.

“Why is it so hard to find people who stay still for long enough?” Stiletto asked wistfully.

“I can stay still!” Miss Isle offered, sliding off her crate perch. “Can I juggle grenades while you throw knives at me?”

“No.”

“Come on!”

Tsukiko left Stiletto and Miss Isle to their bickering and weapon tossing. As Miss Isle had suggested, she wandered to the bestiary to see Gary. She didn't see her snake in the shelter at first. She knelt down to eye level, and spotted Gary curled up in his hollowed rock hideout. The snake noticed her as well and poked its head out of hiding.

Tsukiko picked the snake out of his terrarium and draped him across her neck and shoulder. Gary relaxed, being kept warm by Tsukiko's all-too-plentiful hair, as his owner recounted her complaints and day plans.

“You know, you're a better listener than Henry,” Tsukiko said. “We should do this more often.”

Gary flicked out his tongue. Tsukiko took that as an agreement.

A few paces later, her cell phone rang. Tsukiko poked at the screen, recognizing the number.

“Yo, Galen,” she said.

“Tsuki! Are you okay?” Galen's voice asked frantically.

“Er. Yes?” Tsukiko guessed, looking to Gary for confirmation. “What's up?”

“We found some weird stuff at the cactus farm,” Galen said. “There's this guy called Garrick. He works with the dryads and he's been researching all of Alesia's acts.”

“Well, that sort of makes sense,” Tsukiko said. “Anyone working with the dryads would have to know by now that we're the ones killing their stupid plant monsters, right?”

“Yeah, but – look. As far as we can tell, Garrick is targeting you specifically. He doesn't know how the Religalia work, so he thinks you're special.”

“You say that like you don't think I'm special!” Tsukiko gasped in mock-offence.

“Yeah yeah. Just do me a favour and stay away from any plants until we get back. Vercy wants to hold a meeting. We're going to go over what we've learned and how to make sure you stay safe.”

“That's sweet and all, but is it really necessary?” Tsukiko asked. “I've fought dryads before. You saw me do it. I'm actually pretty good at it.”

“You're right,” Galen said. “Sorry. It's just that seeing all of this has really freaked me out. It's one thing for you to fight monsters, but when they're coming for you specifically... makes me worry.”

“Aw. I was worried about you too. Someone said you were fighting cacti?”

“Oh, yeah, they were a pain in the ass.”

“Hopefully not literally pains in your ass. I'm not High Healing ass injuries.”

“Luckily, no. And we're all fine, so you don't have to worry either.”

“Well,” Tsukiko said. “I'll do my best to avoid plants.” She looked down at the grass beneath her feet; the field extended for hundreds of meters in any direction. “No promises, though.”

“Yeah, you're right, I'm just being paranoid,” Galen said. “We're almost back at the circus. We'll talk then.”

A pause.

“Tsuki?” Galen's voice asked through Tsukiko's phone. “Are you still there?”

Silence.

Gary the snake slithered around the grass. The snake didn't understand why he was suddenly on the ground, even being used to Tsukiko appearing and disappearing during magic shows. He wrapped around Tsukiko's fallen phone. The battery's warmth did a good job of emulating her body heat.

“Tsuki, come on,” Galen's voice rang out through the phone. “This isn't funny.”

Gary poked up his head. His owner wasn't in any direction he could see.

“Tsuki...?” asked the phone.

“We found Tsukiko's cell phone and her pet snake near Pierre's tents.”

Jeffery placed the device on Vercingetorix's large circular desk, facing the rest of the group. Vercingetorix, Ravindra and Henry all looked at the device with grimaces on their faces.

Galen, on the other hand, looked simply empty. Even Gary, sitting on his shoulder and tickling his ear with his tiny forked tongue, did nothing to change Galen's expression.

“Stiletto and Miss Isle said they were talking just after lunch,” Jeffery explained. “Going by the length of the call between Galen and Tsukiko, it seems like she disappeared at one thirty four.”

“And no one saw anything?” Ravindra asked.

“There were no dryad sightings,” Jeffery confirmed. “Some stagehands saw Tsukiko wandering around with Gary, but that's all.”

“What of the Religalia?” Vercingetorix asked.

“Stiletto and Miss Isle said that Tsukiko was wearing her normal outfit when she was captured. They thought that might have included the Bow Tie, but we checked storage. All of the Religalia are accounted for. She must have been wearing her non-Religalia bow tie,” said Jeffery.

“That's a relief,” said Vercingetorix. “Now – ”

Galen stood, slamming a palm onto the desk.

“Is that what you care about?!” He demanded, startling the poor snake on his neck. “God knows what happened to Tsukiko and you're worried about her bow tie?!”

Henry held up his palms, motioning for Galen to sit down. He made a few more gestures, but at Galen's level of stress, he found he couldn't understand a single one.

“Henry's right,” Ravindra said. “The dryads likely captured Tsukiko, as opposed to killing her. They believe she has the ability to transform into a tank and conjure the Bow Tie's compound bow. If they were to learn that the powers come from the Religalia, and not Tsukiko herself, that's when she'd be in true danger.”

Galen looked back at Vercingetorix, trying to decide if the manager had meant the same thing. Galen saw no change in his expression, and so sat down with the same frustration with which he'd arisen.

He looked around the table, but none of the others seemed to blame him for his outburst. Each of them was silent, completely immersed in their own thoughts.

#dressed to kill #original fiction #tsukiko

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howtohero · 7 years ago

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#103 Going to Jail

Prisons, they’re where all the people who try to poison the oceans or kidnap the mayor at harpoon-arm-point go. They’re also, believe it or not, the place where a large number of superheroes spend some time at some point in their careers. Which honestly isn’t that surprising when you consider that most superheroes are actually illegal vigilantes and are constantly 24/7 breaking so many laws. (Just because you’re wearing a costume and your fists glow in the dark it doesn’t mean you can park in the orthodontist’s parking lot, it specifically says “Patients of Dr. Bill Timetravel Only Violators Will be Towed.” So say goodbye to that sick flying squirrel shaped dune buggy, it lives in the impound now!)

Superheroes can find themselves in prison for any number of reasons. Perhaps they were falsely accused of crime, framed by some nefarious juggling serial killer named Chanice. Maybe it was a classic “wrong place, wrong time, and yes granted I am wearing a blood stained face-concealing horned helmet but I swear officer it is not what it looks like” situation. Perchance they actually committed a crime but it wasn’t like a supervillain crime, nothing even exploded! It was some harmless trespassing mixed with some light mail fraud, all in the name of justice of course. Mayhaps they’re going in because they’ve boldly sacrificed themselves to save their superhero friends by throwing themselves on the ground in front of a bunch of cops and screaming “I am a thief” over and over again (it is unclear how this was supposed to help their friends). The point is, with so many superheroes ending up in jail for so many reasons (“they were charging $3.99 for my theme song! Of course I’m going to illegally download it! It’s for sure not good enough to pay four dollars for!”) you’d better make sure you’re prepared for when it happens to you.

Let’s first assume that you’re being arrested as a civilian. Nobody knows that you’re a superhero, not the cops, not your lawyer, not the jury not the judge, and certainly not anybody in the prison. You’re trading in your union jack jumpsuit for a bright orange one and nobody’s the wiser. Now, if you watch a lot of movies, you’re probably thinking “pfft I know what prison is like, I will just punch the biggest guy I see right in the face and gain everybody’s respect forever,” and I am going to shove that pfft right down your throat because you are not allowed to do that. You are a superhero, and while I know punching criminals in your face is literally your job, remember, you are a superhero in a regular person jail, if you punch someone in the face they can die. Your fists have caused trucks to explode, you once punched a satellite into space because there was a problem with the launch pad (the problem was Carrie the Pigeon and her whole family of pigeons refused to move because they had reserved the launch pad for a picnic, and it’s true, they had all the proper permits. Someone had double booked the launch pad for that day!) you once fist bumped a dinosaur! Clearly some regular old convenience store holder upper’s face is not ready for your fists! And if you don’t have super strong or explosive or atomic or spiked fists then guess what? That large felon will most certainly punch back! That’s not what we want. What we want is to keep a low profile, don’t make any enemies and certainly don’t use your powers. Keep those things a secret, all of your neighbors are criminals, you don’t want them knowing your secret. Just chill out until your support squad or your super buds or the harried detective that pretends to hate you but secretly he appreciates all that you do for the city, can pull some strings and get you out.

If you’re not content with just sitting around all day twiddling your thumbs and playing poker with people who are definitely cheating then you can try looking for other people like you. If there’s one falsely accused civvie-mode superhero in your prison there may very well be others. And then you guys can be pals! Or stage a jailbreak together! So fun! If you want to find another secret superhero in your prison be on the lookout for any of the following:

People who keep trying to break up prison fights with their words but refuses to get punchy. (Maybe they read this blog!)

People who don’t even seem a little bit afraid of anything. (Due to the fact that they know they could just torch the whole place with their eyes and then disappear should the need arrive).

People named Bruce. (Studies show that 87% of all people named Bruce are secretly superheroes.)

Once you’ve found yourself an ally you can commiserate and organize your resources on the outside to try to get you out. You can even work to make life better for inmates within the prison if you’ve got the time. Just because they’re criminals doesn’t mean they’re not included in the oath you took to protect all life (except mimes)

If you’re arrested whilst in full costume then you’re secret identity is pretty much shot, so nice going. You’ll probably be shipped to a maximum security superhuman prison. Which is a lot less fun than regular prison, since everybody there is a supervillain and therefore probably hates you and wants you to be dead. Also usually they’re in the middle of the ocean. So I hope you don’t get seasick. Your powers will almost certainly be negated in some way. Most prisons use super stylish collars or bracelets that are really scratchy and also not actually super stylish. Yeah! That’s right! I was lying! Welcome to prison bucko! In superhuman prison superheroes that get arrested are generally kept in a separate wing from all the supervillains, for obvious reasons, but the guards will gladly transfer you if you give them a hard time. So now you have to be polite too! Ugh, prison suuuuucks. But worry not (y’all best not be worrying!) maximum security superhuman prisons have mass jailbreaks like every other Wednesday. These generally occur in the supervillains wings of the prisons so try to find out when the next one is scheduled for so you can use your sickest yo mama joke and get your butt transferred so you can participate. Just make sure you have some way of getting back to the mainland (or your home dimension, some superhuman prisons are in pocket dimensions). Otherwise you’re kind of just... still trapped. And also in more trouble than you were in before. Which kind of defeats the point of breaking out in the first place. Always plan ahead people!

Hopefully, if you’re innocent, your allies should come to your aid relatively quickly and you can return to regular society no worse for wear, maybe having even gained a deeper appreciation for life and freedom. Maybe you’ll even have made some new prison friends. Maybe you’ll have joined a gang! [Don’t join a gang]. While going to prison might seem bad it’s important to keep your chin up and make the most of it!

#superhero #superheroes #comics #comedy #humor #funny #prison #jail #captivity #superheruman prisons #Chanice #the juggling serial killer #harpoons #mimes #Bruce #people named Bruce #pigeon picnics #Carrie the Pigeon

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preservationandruin · 7 years ago

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Oathbringer Liveblog, Part Three: Chapters 68-76

I’m not sure where half of these plotlines are going, but I’m intrigued! That’s how it always seems to go with these stories, isn’t it?

Shallan goes out for lunch with a bard, Kal makes some friends, we meet Highmarshal Azure and I fall in love instantly, Dalinar has flashbacks, Shallan is having some identity trouble, and Dalinar burns a scar into Alethi history, and I cut this off because I’m legitimately too nauseous to keep reading.

So Shallan and Wit are going to go out to eat. Not a sentence that I expected to write, but here we are. Apparently Wit promised the owner that he would draw patrons, and not only was bullshitting (of course) but also is now trying to use Shallan as proof he did what he said. He also lifted her purse at some point. Shallan is so confused.

Wit is such a fucking bard.

As he ushered her in, he raised a fist toward the innkeeper. “I’ve had enough of your oppression, tyrant! Secure your wine this evening, for the revolution will be swift, vengeful, and intoxicated!” Closing the door behind him, Wit shook his head. “That man really should know better by now. I have no idea why he continues to put up with me.”

I mean, I’m not wrong.

Shallan asks if he’s a Herald; he replies no, because “the last seven times” he tried to get involved in religion were all disasters.

“I believe there’s at least one god still worshipping me by accident.”

The worst thing is, this is probably true. He reveals to Shallan that he’s far, far older than the Heralds, and notes that when he was young, he made a vow to “always be there when he was needed” but has realized that he should have been way more specific, because “there” is usually somewhere useless.

Shallan and Wit are great snark companions, though. Shallan has to break the news to him that Sadeas is dead.

“Someone offed old Sadeas, and I missed it?” “What would you have done? Helped him?” “Storms, no. I’d have applauded.”

Adolin has unknowingly gained a fan.

Anyway, Wit knows which spren is in the palace--it’s called the Heart of the Revel, and it’s dangerous; it reminds Wit of something he used to find, and he tells Shallan she’ll need to bring food for their revels to get in. The Heart of the Revel seems to spur on hedonism.

...it may have been controlling Aesudan for far longer, now that I think about it, and only awoke to full power with the Everstorm. Only Rei-Shephir was bound, after all.

Also Wit stole some of Shallan’s money. Of course.

Over to Kaladin! He tries Lashing, and notes that it seems to attract the shrieking spren. Kal also approves of the Voidbringer’s spear--it’s a good one for battle. Lightweaving, being “quiet” (according to Pattern) doesn’t attract them, but actively Lashing does--although just holding stormlight does not.

Makes sense that fucking with gravity would be “loud,” though.

“A party,” Kaladin said, pacing back and forth in the tailor shop’s showroom. Skar and Drehy leaned by the doorway, each with a spear in the crook of his arm. “This is what they’re like,” Kaladin said. “Your city is practically burning. What should you do? Throw a party, obviously.”

I’m with Kaladin on this one. First of all--the palace is inhabited by a spirit of hedonism called the Heart of the Revel and you throw a party? Second of all, this is high-quality “Nero fiddles while Rome burns” action happening.

Drehy and Skar point out that it’s sort of like going out drinking during war, which is a good point, but still.

[Casper gestures furiously toward the giant evil party spren in the castle while making a noise like a boiling teakettle]

Anyway, Adolin got a new outfit! Kal gives his opinion:

“You look like you tripped and fell into a bucket of blue paint,” Kaladin said, “then tried to dry off with a handful of parched grass.”

“And you look like what the storm leaves behind,” Adolin said, passing by and patting Kaladin on the shoulder. “We like you anyway. Every boy has a favorite stick he found out in the yard after the rains.”

Adolin also has started to call Kaladin Kal. He also talks to Skar and Drehy and get their requests for food he can steal from the lighteyes’ table. I’m so glad that Adolin gets along well with Bridge Four now. He also offers to take them drinking the next day--apparently the three of them have gone drinking a few times since the pair of them stopped Adolin’s ass from falling in a chasm at the end of Words of Radiance.

Anyway, we get that Kaladin doesn’t like lightweaving over his face--because it feels like lying to him, which makes sense. Interestingly, if you put all the orders in a circle, windrunners and lightweavers are opposites. I know this is news to nobody ok.

Also, summoning the Sylblade doesn’t draw screamers, so at least Kal has that to fall back on.

He felt good lots of days. Trouble was, on the bad days, that was hard to remember. At those times, for some reason, he felt like he had always been in darkness, and always would be. Why was it so hard to remember? Did he have to keep slipping back down? Why couldn’t he stay up here in the sunlight, where everyone else lived?

THIS IS A BIG MENTALLY ILL MOOD Y’ALL. Like, god, if that isn’t the story of my life.

C’mon, Kal, we can do it.

Anyway, Adolin notices that Kaladin is upset, and drops back to talk with him. They discuss whether or not Kaladin should train in side sword, then--

“Maybe I’m one of those punchy guys.” Adolin stopped in place and grinned at Kaladin. “Did you just say ‘punchy guys?”’ “You know, ardents who train to fight unarmed.” “Hand to hand?” “Hand to hand.” “Right,” Adolin said. “Or ‘punchy guys,’ as everyone else calls them.” Kaladin met his eyes, then found himself grinning back. “It’s the academic term.” “Sure. Like swordy fellows. Or spearish chaps.” “I once knew a real axalacious bloke,” Kaladin said. “He was great at psychological fights..” “Psychological fights?” “He could really get inside someone’s head.”

This is too good for me to leave it out look at these pun idiots making jokes at each other. Anyway, Adolin is really excited about possibly teaching Kaladin sword, and also points out to be a good warrior he’s going to need to learn how to fight all kinds of people--and the best way to know how to do that is to practice with their weapons himself.

When I was imprisoned for daring to accuse Amaram, he was the only lighteyes who stood up for me. Adolin Kholin was simply a good person. Powder-blue clothing and all. You couldn’t hate a man like him: storms, you kind of had to like him.

As I’ve said before: this is the good Kaladin and Adolin content I love to see. Shippy or not, it’s just good content.

Anyway, Kal feels sick at the idea of going into the non-noble lighteyes’ tent like he’s supposed to, so he borrows a spear and decides to walk the block. Kal goes over to the wall, and Shallan’s illusion over his brands has dropped. It might just...work less well on Kaladin?

Anyway, there are apparently free meals for deserters. He heads over and decides to talk to them to get his information on this Azure.

The epigraphs from the gems are mentioning something called “the Sibling” that has withdrawn some from them.

Anyway, Kal’s with the Wall Guard now. He also notes that he’s been spoiled by Rock’s cooking. Anyway, the state of the men speaks well in Kal’s mind of Highmarshal Azure, who he assumes is some midrank officer thrust into power by the chaos.

Kal tells the basic truth about his shash brand--got in a squabble with Amaram, who killed some of his men. The sergeant keeps trying to recruit him, and Azure apparently has a Shardblade.

And then Azure appears and I shriek, because she’s a lady.

fuck YES. I feel like Eowyn is an appropriate reaction image.

She’s orange-eyed, with short hair; she wears her Blade and doesn’t dismiss it, but it looks like a Shardblade. Weird. Anyway, have I mentioned that I’m perpetually gay for women and swords? Because I’m in love with Azure now.

Anyway, she takes Kaladin up to the top of the barracks. Apparently it’s a “secret” that she’s female, despite her, well, obviously being female. Well, if that’s what it takes for the Alethi to rationalize it. She says that the wall is redemption--they’re the only thing between the Voidbringers and the people, and she trusts that Kaladin will be back to help eventually. Anyway, Kaladin suspects that she is a Radiant--which she honestly sounds like.

Back to the Blackthorn, eleven years ago, in case seeing a female possibly-radiant being badass made you think everything wasn’t shit.

Dalinar’s sent Adolin back to Kholinar, and has his forces attacking from the west while Sadeas’ attack from the east and have I mentioned that I do not trust any plan that a) has already been foreshadowed to end badly and b) involves both Blackthorn Dalinar and Sadeas in the same area?

Anyway, Dalinar notes that Evi is being the “perfect Vorin wife” and that she’s so clearly miserable that it’s crushing him. Hey, bright idea, asshole--tell her she doesn’t have to and actually support her for once. Just saying.

He notes that this is the first time an argument has bothered him this much. Maybe it’s because she made good points that you can’t dismiss by hitting things with a sword, Dalinar. Maybe you’re actually feeling guilt. Consider that.

Anyway, he goes to talk to her. Evi says that she was praying for Dalinar’s heart to soften--not for her sake, but for the men he was riding out to kill.

“I hate what this does to you,” she said softly. “I see beauty in you, Dalinar Kholin. I see a great man struggling against a terrible one. And sometimes, you get this look in your eyes. A horrible, terrifying nothingness. Like you have become a creature with no heart, feasting upon souls to fill that void, dragging painspren in your wake. It haunts me, Dalinar.”

It seems a lot to me like Evi--coming from a culture where the Thrill isn’t normal--has a much clearer view of it than any of the Alethi. She sees it as the monster it is. She asks Dalinar to hold back, saying that his mercy against Tanalan--the boy--before was a sign of humanity, not a mistake. She asks him not to “feed it”--feed the darker version of him. Feed the thrill and, by extension, the Unmade that controls it.

God, the thrill is toxic and awful. The more we see its effects, the more it makes my skin crawl. And it’s so normalized.

Anyway, Dalinar notes that many of the men do see the Thrill as something external to them, a companion, which isn’t creepy at all. A silent companion with you always, rewarding you with euphoric highs when you slaughter people? One so regular that not feeling it is seen as strange?

This is horrifying. It blatantly rewards slaughter and viciousness--and explains why Alethi culture is so combat-driven and violent. They’re all trained to think that this druglike high is the best reward possible, the most normal reaction to battle.

Does Dalinar forget, sometimes, that it almost made him kill his brother?

Dalinar asks to walk with Tanalan, reminding him that the last time they met, Dalinar should have killed him, and didn’t. Tanalan agrees; Dalinar compliments his forces, saying it will be a pity to kill them, and Tanalan asks if he can.

Dalinar points out that he has never lost a battle.

“My brother attempted words and politics to bring you into line,” Dalinar said. “Well. I’m good at only one thing. He builds. I destroy. But because of the tears of a good woman, I have come--against my better judgement--to offer you an alternative.”

A great man battling a terrible one. That’s really the story of Dalinar. This time, it seems that for a moment, the great man won.

Tanalan doesn’t accept the parlay, of course, but he says that it could have been a trap--one decided to catch the traitor, who, he says, was Sadeas.

I wholeheartedly believe that.

Anyway, Dalinar decides he’s going to check this out, following the caravan that they missed leaving Rathelas. I hope this works. I hope it works so, so much.

Back to Shallan.

Veil says that the city has a heartbeat, one she can hear when she closes her eyes. She’s investigating a noble house--but her illusions and roles are getting to her more and more. That’s alarming. For a moment, she even refers to the actual lady of the house as “an inferior version” and considers taking her place, and hurriedly drops the illusion.

That’s very not good.

“Sorry,” Veil said, grabbing a sack of grain. “That woman’s head is a frightening place.” “Well, I did say Nananav is notoriously difficult.” Yeah, Veil thought. But I was talking about Shallan.

ANYWAY. They were doing a Serious Food Heist, but are about to get caught and thus are sprinting out of there. They nearly get caught, and Shallan makes herself look like a horrifyingly melting Nananav, who then gets shot in the head.

YIKES.

The stormlight healed the crossbow bolt inside her head holy fuck, so she needs to pull it out. She’s starting to worry Vathah. Anyway, Shallan asks the kid she gave food to earlier if there’s other people who need it, and gets the name of a seamstress, some refugee kids, and a cobbler, and she gives it to them. Veil likes doing things, helping people.

Over to Kaladin. He seems to be back in the barracks, and one of the soldiers--who tells tall tales--is saying he met the Blackthorn. He’s officially joined the Guard, because Elhokar asked him to, and almost seems to be making friends there. Anyway, the guard sees and shit-talks Adolin a little, and we get that Kal is shit at acting lighteyed.

“But,” Kaladin said, “how can you say that? I mean, he’s lighteyed. Like us.” He winced. Did that sound fake? it sure is nice being lighteyed as I, of course, has light eyes--like you, my eyes are lighter than the dark eyes of darkeyes.

I’m fucking wheezing. And Kaladin is legitimately wanting to defend Adolin Kholin and his stupid bright clothes.

Side note, everyone uses he/him pronouns for Azure. I’m not sure if that’s the soldiers just doing it because it’s weird using she/her for a general, or if that’s what Azure actually uses? I’ll try to use “they” to be safe until I get an actual verdict on that one.

Anyway, their shardblade doesn’t have a gem on it, which is one reason Kal thinks they’re a Radiant. He notes that if they have Soulcasting, that would explain why the screamers haven’t come, although it looks like they do have a soulcaster.

Although--they can’t have soulcasting. We know that Jasnah at the moment is the only Elsecaller, and Azure doesn’t seem like a Lightweaver. A Lightweaver would be wearing a disguise.

Apparently, if you get too close to the Palace Guard, you hear whispering voices telling you to join them, but according to Azure they can’t get you if you don’t listen. Beard, as a side note, seems to be a Rosharan atheist. Kal seems less certain.

Kal immediately starts acting as a commander when there’s an alert and then sheepishly realizes he’s not a commander. He’s also not used to forces that actually have surgeons.

Back over to Veil. In the epigraphs, we get the melancholy musings of a Windrunner as they leave Urithiru:

Today, I leaped from the tower for the last time. I felt the wind dance around me as I fell all the way along the eastern side, past the tower, and to the foothills below. I’m going to miss that.

Veil is starting to regularly supply food to some people, when she can. People are calling her the Swiftspren--a Robin-Hood-esque figure robbing the rich, uncatchable because she’s a spren. White hat, white coat, looking and acting different sometimes. She knows she’s thinking too small-scale--but still, it’s something she can actually do.

She gives herself the illusion of being a cultist herself, but as Swiftspren--a beautiful glowing arrowhead, golden-tasseled with arrowhead designs. And, maybe, gets a little too far into it, because she hears what they hear whispering, and it calls her by name.

So she stops, still looking like an actual spren, and changes the chanting.

“There are spren,” Shallan said to the gathered crowd, using Lightweaving to twist and warp her voice, “and there are spren. You followed the dark ones. They whisper for you to abandon yourselves. They lie.” The cultists gaped. “We do not want your devotion. When have spren ever demanded devotion? Stop dancing in the streets and be men and women again. Strip off those idiotic costumes and return to your families!” They didn’t move quickly enough, so she sent her tassels streaming upward, curling about one another, lengthening. A powerful light flashed from her. “Go!” She shouted.

She’s still shaken by how quickly their thinking wormed its way into her head.

Anyway, Elhokar says that the pattern on her skirt--which is Pattern--is familiar. We get that Elhokar’s son will be three now, and he’s so concerned. Shallan gets her sketchbook. It’s him kneeling, beaten down, but he’s looking up. He looks regal.

She gives it to him, and he’s almost in tears. And finally, Shallan gets a note--from the Cult.

Man, a lot is happening. Shallan is losing herself. Elhokar seems to be finding himself. Kaladin is working with the guard. Kholinar is still choking to death on its own secrets.

And, of course, we go eleven years ago, to Dalinar hunting down the team from the traitor highprince; he’s brought his elites. Unfortunately, the idea that Sadeas betrayed them--it gives him the Thrill, pumping it through him. He thinks it gives him focus.

I doubt that. Anyway, he was drawn into a ravine, and just as he realized that none of it made sense--why would they wear Sadeas’ colors if they were a secret envoy, their uniforms are wrong--the ravine lip collapses into a landslide. For the second time, the Rift uses its own land against him. He survived--barely.

But it was a trap. Designed to draw him in and crush him. The men are trying to dig him out--because he has Plate and Blade. They rush him, and he sees only red--and comes back to himself pounding a man’s head against the stones repeatedly. There is an entire pile of men lying behind him. The gemstone on Oathbringer cracked; he can’t dismiss it normally and, uh, I just want to re-state, there is a pile of corpses of men he killed behind him.

Evi looks at him, and she goes pale. She’s terrified of him, how he looks now. He made it back, barely. Evi tells him to rest, to sleep, to think. Sadeas tells him to push on now, to punish them.

A great man fighting a terrible one, and we see who backs each side. Sadeas was always a terrible influence on Dalinar.

“No, [make] oil. As much as we have gemstones for. Oh, and someone take my wife to her tent so she may recover from her unwarranted grief. Everyone else, gather round.”

And we see which man wins, and it sure isn’t the great one. He’s going to torch the Rift.

Oh, Dalinar.

I’m glad that this is the third book, and we’ve had two books to learn to love him as he is now. I’m also glad that he didn’t remember this, that thinking about it gives him PTSD attacks, because I’m glad to know the man he has become would be as appalled by this as I am.

Because if those weren’t true, I’d hate him.

There’s a red mist clouding his vision. It won’t let him sleep. An envoy comes to fly the flag of truce, and Dalinar says to shoot them dead. Sadeas approves, of course.

This is the Dalinar Sadeas missed, isn’t it? The strong one. The one who he thought could help Alethkar. Sadeas missed and idolized this fucking monster.

Dalinar is specifically misleading Gavilar to think that he’s still dead, so Gavilar can’t supercede his direct orders. He knows Gavilar wouldn’t let him torch the Rift. So he’s making sure Gavilar thinks he’s dead.

Oh, and in case this scene could get any worse, guess who is of course with Sadeas’s army.

Amaram turned from where he stood with the other generals.

Of course Amaram is there. Of course he is. He isn’t even doing anything particularly bad, but it’s like Brandon went “oh, what could make this scene worse? I know. Putting Meridas Amaram in there.”

God. Did Amaram learn his “do things for the greater good” mentality watching at Sadeas and the Blackthorn’s side? He very well could have.

Tanalan is trying to save his family. He didn’t hide in the saferoom.

Dalinar was going to call the attack off, but Sadeas reminded him that he set a battalion to kill anyone escaping. Thanks to Sadeas’ actions, there is no way to save the city.

“At least this time you didn’t hide in your hole. I don’t know who you let take cover there, but know they are dead. I took care of that with barrels of fire.” Tanalan blinked, then started laughing with a frantic, crazed air. “You don’t know? How could you not know? But you killed our messengers. You poor fool. You poor, stupid fool.” Dalinar seized him by the chin, though the man was still held by his soldiers. “What?” “She came to us,” Tanalan said. “To plead. How could you have missed her? Do you track your own family so poorly? The hole you burned...we don’t hide there anymore. Everyone knows about it. Now it’s a prison.”

Oh god. Oh no, no, no, no, no.

No.

Evi defected to try to plead for mercy. Dalinar shot all the messengers. They imprisoned her in the safehouse.

Dalinar burned his own wife to death, blinded by the Thrill.

I. I have to cut this here. I’m legitimately nauseous and shaking. Damn it. Damn it.

No.

God, do Adolin and Renarin know? They can’t. They must think Evi was assassinated. They don’t know that their father burned their mother to death.

I can’t think about this anymore or I will, actually, puke.

#oathbringer spoilers #stormlight archive liveblog #What Did Dalinar Do #we learn what dalinar did and im sorry i asked #veil doing ghostthings #kaladin has a saving people thing

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nightblink · 7 years ago

Text

Blink Reads Oathbringer - Chapters 69-74

In which Evi Kholin still deserves better but at least Dailnar’s a smidge more worthy than last time, I delight in how close Kaladin and Adolin have become, and Shallan and her mental state deteriorate further and worry me even more.

Also, Azure.

Chapter Sixty-Nine – Free Meal, No Strings

Considering what we’re getting from the Elsecaller here, apparently Urithiru has the ability to affect not only the general climate either in or around the tower proper, but also the “pressure” which I assume means air pressure, since we know that that’s what’s manipulated by adhesion. Which. Interesting. If the tower really is located up at an altitude where breathing would become difficult, I can definitely see why they’d need that ability there, especially when Oathgating directly from sea-level Thaylen City up to Urithiru or vice versa. (what is acclimation, much?)

Ooo, so the Voidspren can sense Surges then, and not just fabrial use? It’s just that Shallan’s Illumination Surge is somehow sneakier than – at the very least – Gravitation. And they’re definitely drawn to the Surges and not the mere presence of stormlight (nobody could keep their spheres infused otherwise).

Gotta admit, while those flying-Fused clothes are hardly practical, they do have a fantastically dramatic style.

Kaladin is not happy over the lighteyes throwing their end-of-the-world parties while Rome Kholinar burns, understandably so. It’s dumb, but rich people.

“Please tell me that you didn’t bring us to live with your tailor because you wanted a new wardrobe.” Kaladin, even you have to admit that he likely looks stunning (and not just because it fits tightly through the chest). Powder blue over the dark bronze of his skin, gold embroidery accentuating the glint of his hair? Seriously. The man knows how to dress. Well. Kaladin might not admit that (to himself, aloud, at all, whatever) but these two have obviously settled into a comfortable level of teasing each other, and it’s fantastic. (Also, comfort on the level that Adolin is calling him Kal, and Kaladin hasn’t said or even had a thought of telling him not to. None of the bridgemen even do that, not after Moash left.)

So much physical contact from Adolin this chapter, dang. Ahhh, but he made friends with Skar and Drehy after the Battle of Narak! It does remind me of the time way back (I think in the first book?) when Dalinar was grumbling about(?)/noting him being companionable with the lower-ranking Kholin officers and rank-and-file soldiers. Those three at a tavern though, oh man, I may have to write fic about that.

OOP, AND JUST AS I BRING THAT UP-

Oh, Kaladin. Depression fucking sucks, and while I'm so glad you've been having a lot of good days, stormlight can't wipe that away like it can with scars.

Adolin notices! And drops back to check on you! Ahhhh, honestly, with how you two are getting to know each other well, I feel like you'd start picking up on each others' tells often and come to help in what ways you can, and I'm so glad to actually see that happening.

PUNCHY GUYS, I'M DY I N G

“talk like a girl” is definitely a compliment when it's sort of the default cultural assumption that women are more intelligent (and I'd bet good money that Adolin's been the butt of wordplay jokes enough when they knew he needed a moment to Logic It Out in his head, but in this instance Kaladin gives him that moment, and doesn't scoff or demean. You two have come so far.)

Please become sparring buddies, I beg you Sanderson. Kaladin's got powers but Adolin's better with technical skill; it would be a great matchup for them to improve.

Kaladin: [just goes out for a moment to patrol around the block] [immediately gets stopped by a squad from the Wall Guard] ….you have some strange brand of luck, Kal. At least it still counts as getting information on the Wall Guard like your part of this mission tonight is?

Storms, but that shash brand is persistent.

Chapter Seventy – Highmarshal Azure

AIGHT WE MIGHT FINALLY FIND OUT WHO THIS AZURE PERSON IS AND WHETHER THEY'RE A NALTHIAN

“the Sibling” again. What on Roshar is that referring to? And the state of the Radiants can affect whatever-it-is somehow, or at least is perceived to maybe have an effect?

At long last, Kaladin finds somewhere in this eerily-shadowed city that he can relax. Alas, it doesn't have the true comfort that is Rock's cooking.

These soldiers seem like they're probably a ragtag bunch of misfits as well, anyone who had decent training cobbled together to help man the walls when the Fused and Parshmen started attacking, adding people to their ranks as refugees trailed in. Beggars can't be choosers, and Kholinar is besieged. Still, their comportment does speak well of Azure.

….[squints] Either the Guard has a way in and out of the city that you're not telling anyone, or you have some way of creating food (that you're also not telling). I'm not getting a strong vibe as to which it may be.

All of them are lighteyed? Is it the entire Wall Guard or just these two platoons? That's… well, where's all the darkeyed soldiers?

Kaladin is definitely suspecting Azure to be a Radiant, and that's sounding more and more like a possibility, but that name still niggles at the back of my mind; I'm keeping my money on Azure being a Nalthian, even despite the Shardblade. A foreigner, who just happened along by and showed enough military ability and savvy to organize the soldiers and hold the gates? That's fishy.

AND AZURE'S A LADY. EXCELLENT.

Average to just-under-average height for an Alethi woman. That's still hella tall for just about anyone else. Orange eyes though? That's odd – we've seen shades of yellow all over, but orange… I don't think so. And a basket-hilted sword of all things – screw whether it's the Shardblade or not, is it a saber, a rapier?

Her soldiers still love her, no matter how much of Vorin society would be outright scandalized (and probably up in arms) over a woman being highmarshal.

If Azure is a worldhopper, she's been here long enough to get a handle on not only Vorin curses, but the political and military situation of the past few years – enough to ping damn close to Kaladin's actual backstory, which he now realizes was an active effort on Sadeas and Amaram's part (nothing personal, and there are bound to be many more who were affected in much the same way he was in those border skirmishes). That leans the possibility a little more towards native-Rosharan, but still doesn't discount other possibilities.

Azure makes a hell of a plea to one's honor and common sensibility.

Oh Kaladin. They have; the Parshmen that you so hoped would survive have been pulled into what you never wanted for them.

Chapter Seventy-One – A Sign of Humanity

ANOTHER FLASHBACK ANOTHER FLASHB-

And it's set very, very soon after the last flashback chapter we got – not immediately as the timeline goes, but probably only a few weeks, maybe even as much as a month.

Evi is crying and once again I feel the great need to punch Dalinar. YOU SHOULD BE FEELING CRUSHED, YOU COMPLETE ASS. Look at what your argument did! Look at how heartbroken and withdrawn she's become, trying even harder yet even more painfully than before!

Dalinar is so detached that he can hardly believe that their argument 'bodes ill for their relationship', he can't even tell how bad it's already become when his wife breaks down in front of him! When he doesn't even go to see his own son, much less care about him! Ugh.

At least he's going to talk to her, and is cognizant enough to do it in what is essentially what little territory she has in all this army. Not quite a supplicant, but as close as he can get (and without that attitude, of course).

“I like it when you fight.” [winces] Dalinar, Dalinar that is the absolute wrong thing to say. She doesn't want to fight, it hurts her to fight, and you can't see it! Like she said last time, the Alethi take everything as a competition, but you have to remember that she's not, and she doesn't want this. At all.

The way that she describes the times when 'nothingness' flares in his eyes is oddly specific, and that can't be a coincidence. Branderson has something going on here, more than just Dalinar's own self, more than just the Thrill and his addiction to it.

His hand against her safehand. That should be a sign of utmost trust, and yet…

Are… are you actually going to try talking them down first, rather than attacking without giving them a chance to surrender? Also, this is the first time you've noted it, but even you feel like the 'hunger' of the Thrill is something external (but it still feels like it's different for you, more focused than it is for others)

You can't blame the Rifters for not trusting him. His reputation alone would merit such, not even counting what he did to them personally. But, Dalinar is trying to negotiate. Amazing.

Ooof. Tanalan really didn't understand what the rebellion could mean for his people and city.

A duel. This, despite the indifference/contempt he holds for dueling. But the Thrill – or whatever it is (something definitely focused on him specifically) does not want that to happen. ….this does not bode well.

Despite how good Tanalan's plan sounds, there is definitely something wrong here, some underlying current that says 'I have a bad feeling about this…' even beyond the fact that we already know that something terrible happened at the Rift.

I'm not sure Sadeas is the 'traitor' like they say. Despite the fact that he was a conniving, slimy Pus of Man that got an all-too-justified death, he was dedicated to the power of Alethkar. Whether at this point he believed that rested with Gavilar or with Tanalan's Rebellion, I'm actually putting my spheres on him being on Gavilar's side. Perhaps he's spurring this on, but Gavilar does want an example made, and it could very well further some secret plans of his that we don't know about.

This whole thing reeks of about to go to absolute shit

Chapter Seventy-Two – Rockfall

Another Stoneward recording, and an explanation for why none of the Edgedancers have recorded any of these gemstones (they're out actually Getting Shit Done). And apparently Urithiru once had a dedicated population of non-Radiants – servants and farmers and the like – which again makes sense since the tower needed to be self-sufficient.

A Shallan-Veil chapter this time, and they're on a mission. To an elaborate mansion, apparently – one that's still occupied. You have to admit, those former-waterfalls do sound like amazing sights, no matter how frivolous (and expensive) they were to create.

“Veil took a deep breath, then let Shallan bleed back into existence.” I don't like the wording of that. I really don't like the wording of that. Veil 'let'? 'Bleed back into existence?' Both the tone of authority in the first and the visceral nature of the second – as well as the implication that Shallan didn't exist while the Veil-personality is in control – are worrying.

In relation to the above: “...she was an inferior version, obviously. Just deal with her, take her place. It would feel right, wouldn't it?” D u d e. I'm not sure if some outside force is affecting Shallan (very possibly the Unmade in the palace), but that is beyond anything she's felt or thought before, and it's disturbing, especially if she unconsciously has Veil (and to a lesser degree, Radiant) start applying it to herself. It's good that she felt how wrong it was immediately and cut it off at the start.

Huh. Pulled into crisis here, she reverts to her true, core self.

DUDE. WHAT- WHAT THE FUCK. WHAT THE EVERSTORMING FUCK

SHALLAN

...are. are you oka- that's not okay. That. That is not okay in any way shape or form you still have the bolt sticking out of your h e a d

(also, she deliberately shifted back to Veil just then, but absently noted that Veil was also an illusion)

So. Uh. How… how unkillable are Radiants with a decent supply of Stormlight, exactly? And what on Roshar is going to necessitate Plate on top of healing like that?

“You worry me sometimes.” Vathah, you don't even know the half of it.

Wit, please

Well, that's one way of making a scene, as well as not-so-subtly letting the Cult know that you have food, real food.

[sighs in frustration and continued worry about Shallan's separation of self. yet again.]

Chapter Seventy-Three – Telling Which Stories

A Lightweaver asking a serious question at the start of this chapter, which of course lead to more questions – first among them being: what protections did the tower have, and can they be reactivated?

YESGOOD ANOTHER KALADIN CHAPTER

I really love Beard and his obviously-fake stories. “You did not meet the Blackthorn.” Kaladin, standing right next to this guy: [somehow manages to keep a completely straight face]

Oh, and now you have to stab my heart again by mentioning Sah and the group of Parshmen you wanted to help save. Thanks bunches, Brandosando.

ADOLIN THE 'ROOSTING CHICKEN' I'M WH E E Z I N G

Shallan even made his and Drehy's illusions opposite heights or something like that this time omg (unless Drehy's taller now because Adolin's lounging but I like to think the former, because even the though of it is hilarious) Or does he mean that Drehy's several inches taller than he normally is. Either way-

Beard going on about 'the time he met the Blackthorn' when Adolin Kholin is right there and he's shit-talking his coat this is ama z i n g

Kaladin learning about the interactions of the low-ranked lighteyes though – I feel like just a few more steps, and he'll adopt these too. Knowing how they act and how they feel about the higher ranks, he can use that when he eventually gets to Social Revolution once Odium's dealt with, right?

This whole “fellow lighteyes” routine is hilarious and terribly embarrassing at the same time

Kaladin wanting to stand up for Adolin, be still my heart

Ahhh, so it's the Wall Guard that's supplying (all?) the food to the city with whatever their mysterious ways of obtaining it are that don't use Soulcasters?

Oh, great, at least some of the Cult practice self-flagellation in order to draw the altered painspren. Well that's lovely.

'Rock would have laughed [the beard] to shame and euthanized it with a razor and some soap.' HAH, now there's an image! Rock taking one look and carting off this airsick dolt for a trim and a lecture on proper Beard Maintenance.

!!! Now there's an interesting idea – I thought all the Honorblades save Jezrien's were in the keeping of the Shin, but maybe not…? Still, I thought the hilts of the honorblades were all way more elaborate than that, and no basket-hilts.

Kaladin always worries too much, it's who he is. That tidbit about the 'whispering voices' doesn't sound good, though; could be the Unmade, could be something to do with the Fused and Voidspren outside.

Bless Sanderson again, this time for continuing to write a good, believable agnostic in Kaladin

WHOOP, ACCIDENTALLY TAKING COMMAND. And by serious force of will managing not no keep it or shout out orders again.

“Keep your head, and I suspect you'll end up as a squadleader before long.” Help me I'm d y i ng

Chapter Seventy-Four – Swiftspren

Shallan is really cultivating her 'disturbance' as a Robin Hood-like figure to the point where they've given her a name, even a bit of a legend! It's a good one to have, in all, even when not considering that she needs it to get into the Cult. And since the Cult revere spren, being called as such gives them even more reason to notice her.

Ooof, correcting even Pattern when he doesn't refer to her as Veil when she has the illusion and personality up? That's… Shallan, dear, that's not a good sign. Listen to your spren, your soulbonded partner – remember the Truth of yourself.

Okay, that Swiftspren costume sounds really cool.

Ooooo, shit, those whispers are actually whispers, inaudible. The Unmade? Or even the echoes of Odium? Either way, it's not nothing, and certainly not benevolent.

“Was her mind so quickly corrupted?” ...an interesting question. On one side, the multiple personalities seem to make it easier to slide from one mask to another, even if there's 'only' the three, disregarding temporary ones. On the other, you use the word 'corruption' here, and I'm led to think of the 'corrupted spren', and of the people at the palace, so it could also likely be an effect of the Unmade that spreads its miasma over the city.

Ohhhh, and she's been Shallan ever since the voice whispered to her.

I wonder if that feeling of '[feigning] humanity' is how she feels about her branching personalities – if they feel like imitiations, or skin-puppets of what she wants to be, as opposed to distinct forces of their own in her head. (I don't know; I'm no therapist- This, Shallan, is obviously why Sanderson needed to consult heavily with specialists while he was writing, because this is… ooof. Shallan, I worry so much for you.)

'And Shallan… what did Shallan want again? Did it matter? Why bother worrying about her' SHALLAN, I AM WORRIED. VERY, VERY WORRIED.

And then we get this distinction of Veil '[layering] an illusion of Shallan and her havah over top of her trousers and shirt'. Not letting go of the illusion, but layering. Fuuuuuuuck….. Again, I'm sounding like a broken record but Shallan. Dear. This is not healthy.

And here's another one I worry over. Elhokar, it's… as much progress as you're making, this whole 'sitting alone drinking in the dark' doesn't bode well for you either.

Cultural Note: “[W]ishing and expecting is of the Passions. A heresy. A good Vorin worries about transforming themselves.”

...it's been a while since you drew someone Transformatively. And Elhokar… he needed this.

(he saw Cryptics in the mirror and lurking in shadows back on the Shattered Plains. maybe, with a little bit of help, he'll start shining garnet too…?)

#blink reads oathbringer #oathbringer spoilers #I've got Theories #but mostly an overwhelming worry because despite all problems with shallan's personal issues #and the stabbing and the shooting #this is going down far too well to continue that way for much longer

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jandjsalmon · 8 years ago

Note

What other fics are your faves/masterpieces?

Oooh grayface! You ask the hard questions.

I struggled with answering this over the last couple days for a couple reasons. FIRSTLY - as I tried to compile the list, I got caught up rereading a bunch. I’ve spent the better part of three days either refreshing my Instagram to flail over lilicole at Coachella, or rereading old favourite fanfics. Total time!suck. lol.

Also, like I’ve said in the past, I read A LOT of fic. Like, I think I was several thousand fics last year (Completed and WIPS) on top of the 53 original novels I read for my goodreads challenge in 2016). I read a lot of fic and honestly, I *like* most of the fics I finish because if I hate something or it doesn’t give me joy, I’m not going to continue reading it. (As an example, just recently, I stopped reading a fic by a friend of mine - not because it’s terrible writing (because it wasn’t) or because I don’t love my friend (cuz I do - she’s talented and wonderful and kind and every good thing) - but because every update of the story was giving me anxiety and literal rage at the characters to the point where I was unproductive in real life because I was so mad. Fic is supposed to be fun - even angsty and emotional fic - so I literally had to unsubscribe and take a step back a bit. I still love her, and will read other stories by her - just not that one anymore. It’s a complex thing. So, there’s that.

And then there is the fact that I like a lot of fics that I wouldn’t call MASTERPIECES but… I *liked* them. It’s hard to know what crosses that line into epic awesomeness. I generally bookmark my particular favourites but again - does that mean I think they’re all MASTERPIECES? What does being a MASTERPIECE entail? And maybe there is fic that I absolutely am over the moon about - that other people wonder “What’s the big deal?” There are several favourites of mine that could be like that.

And what if a fic is short? Most Masterpieces are usually Tolstoy length, aren’t they? Sometimes. But sometimes they’re short and perfect and speak to me RIGHT NOW (before more canon makes them suddenly AU) but reading them after isn’t as gut punchy. And sometimes they start as AU and yet they’re still freaking spectacular.

And I hate to throw even one more wrench into the problem - but here’s another: I’ve been around fandom in general for a LONG time. Like 12 years. 12 years where I was really active in fic writing/reading/reviewing/betaing/reccing etc. That makes for a LOT of different specific fandoms. Are you interested in the fics I fell in love with 10 years ago when all I read was Draco/Ginny? Or what about my Sherlolly love? Or Hiccastrid? Or Gendarya? Or Violate? Or Shenny? Or Reylo? Or most recently Bughead? Like - I have a lot of favourites that I read and reread over and over again in all of those fandoms.

And what if a MASTERPIECE is a fan favourite? Does it HAVE to be a fan favourite? Maybe it was written by a BNF and maybe it wasn’t. I was accused of BEING a BNF once (which is laughable - as I’ve mentioned in posts before, I’m a collector of BNF friends - I don’t claim to be one myself) - but does that colour whether I think something is a MASTERPIECE or not?

Does my opinion even matter for that matter?

One last thing before I actually give you a mini list of just a FEW of my favourite “Masterpiece” fics. As I’ve said, I like to collect writers. It’s kinda selfish of me - but I like to surround myself with fandom friends who have so much talent that the metaphorical room is thick with it. Probably because I’m only a mediocre writer myself - but I sure do know how to fangirl people who deserve praise. So, sometimes I love an author so much that every thing they write is a Mastepiece to me. How can I choose when everything they write is so perfect?

You see why this is a SUPER tough question?

ANYWAY - if you got through that, you deserve some links. Remember, some of these will be in fandoms that you aren’t into, greyface. But I hope one or two of them catch your eye. I loved each and every one of them.

And if you’re a writer, and I’ve loved on one of your stories with comments and praise and yet it’s NOT mentioned right here - that doesn’t mean that in the eyes of “Jandy Salmon” it’s not a Masterpiece, it just means that I had so much to choose from and such conflicting feelings about which/how many to share that it didn’t get mentioned. But remember, I’m sincere in every review I leave - and I try to leave at least fangirly squeeing on like 95% of the stories/chapters I read (which is a freaking lot). It’s been a while since I posted fic, but I /still/ receive reviews that make my heart happy and I think being actively engaged with reviews helps build connections with the authors I love.

Right? Okay Right. Here’s the list of just a FEW of my favourites (fics that I would probably call MASTERPIECES) that I read over and over again because I love them THAT much:

List Compiled April 17/2017

Jane Austen

The Effect Series by Shem (Kitty Bennet/OC, Lizzie/Darcy)

http://archiveofourown.org/series/115954

Everingham by katharhino (Fanny Price/Henry Crawford)

http://archiveofourown.org/works/279556

Mansfield End by Ione (Fanny Price/Henry Crawford)

http://archiveofourown.org/works/1072559

How to Train your Dragon

Simple Gifts by Ecoutez (Hiccup/Astrid)

http://archiveofourown.org/works/1925469

The Element of Surprise by Ecoutez (Hiccastrid)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/4343291

Game of Thrones

Not Today by ebmordecai (Arya/Gendry)

http://archiveofourown.org/works/407295?view_full_work=true

Pretty much any (Jaime/Brienne) fic by SigilBroken but especially these two series’:

Honour Thy Regard http://archiveofourown.org/series/48322

In this Light http://archiveofourown.org/series/53759

Sherlock (Sherlolly)

Longer Than the Road That Stretches Out Ahead by sunken_standard

http://archiveofourown.org/works/434802

In the End by Lono

http://archiveofourown.org/works/671569/

The Deaf and the Blind and the Color Red by Solshine

http://archiveofourown.org/works/375335

The Falling by Petra Todd

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/8455202/1/The-Falling

The Full House by Emcee

http://archiveofourown.org/series/18800

That 70s Show (Hyde/Jackie)

Hyde’s Long Way Home by MistyMountainHop https://www.fanfiction.net/s/7072364/1/Hyde-s-Long-Way-Home

Sky High (Warren/Layla)

Why Villains Have A Better Life By KFD

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/4297395/1/Why-Villains-Have-A-Better-Life

It Just Takes Some Time By Half-elf

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/3878294/1/It-Just-Takes-Some-Time

The Office (Jim/Pam)

Oracle Mom By time4moxie https://www.fanfiction.net/s/3893458/1/Oracle-Mom

In My Life, I Love You More By bluelimit https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6420571/1/In-My-Life-I-Love-You-More

Laugh this Life with Me by shannanagin https://www.fanfiction.net/s/2853729/1/This-Life-With-Me

Big Bang Theory (Shenny)

the paladin protocol by spaceanjl https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5623923/1/

miles to go (before i sleep) by medusa20 http://archiveofourown.org/works/250535/chapters/387524

& light is only now just breaking by allthingsholy http://archiveofourown.org/works/154681

the road ahead is clear again by notalwaysweak http://archiveofourown.org/works/250525/chapters/387513

Doctor Who (mostly Ten/Rose)

Chaos Verse by earlgreytea68 (The whole collection is AMAZING) http://earlgreytea68.livejournal.com/82528.html

Welcome To Your Life by cenowar https://www.fanfiction.net/s/3130472/1/Welcome-To-Your-Life

Life As You Know It by cenowar https://www.fanfiction.net/s/3575257/1/Life-As-You-Know-It

Battlestar Galatica (Lee/Kara)

Alone Time by alissabobissa http://beyond-insane.livejournal.com/601124.html

Any and EVERY Starbuck/Apollo fic by hackaddict (Freaking MASTER of BSG fic) http://hackaddict.livejournal.com/tag/starbuck%2Fapollo

Harry Potter

For our allotted time is the passing of a shadow by florahart (Cedric/Hermione *whut?*) http://hp-springsmut.livejournal.com/79314.html

Under by Tudorrose1533 (Draco/Ginny)

http://dracoandginny.com/viewstory.php?sid=5065&chapter=1

The More is My Unrest by Arabella and Jedi Boadicea (Draco/Ginny)

http://www.sugarquill.net/read.php?storyid=848&chapno=1

American Horror Story (Violate)

Sucker Love by Tjoek *Incomplete but still a Masterpiece* https://www.fanfiction.net/s/7612662/1/Sucker-Love

You have been Weighed by Shootingstella http://ahs-exchange.livejournal.com/8634.html

Then anything written by @lolableu (who also writes awesome Divergent fanfic btw), GrayGlube @whatwouldflorencedo (also awesome GoT fic), ScarletWoman @feelavalanche (also started one of my fave Veronica Mars WIPs), and OhYellowBird @ohhyellowbird (also wrote a freaking AMAZING Reylo fic too). These girls are my Awesome Nerds - my Lunchtable girls and I love them. There is no higher praise than that. Read them.

Veronica Mars (Dick/Mac)

Sinclair-Mackenzie by BIFF1 https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10127131/1/Sinclair-Mackenzie

Mercy on the Undeserved By LVfangirl https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10310550/1/Mercy-on-the-Undeserved

Star Wars (Reylo) - probably the hardest section to choose from - because I’ve literally read over 1000 fics in the last year and bookmarked nearly 100 which I *liked/loved*.

Firstly - read anything by diasterisms (kylorenvevo) - especially Ghostwalks (Gin and Fog) http://archiveofourown.org/works/6931657 (there are only like a dozen stories so I’m serious when I say read them all. *waves fangirly flag*

when there’s nothing left to burn, you have to set yourself on fire. by ohyellowbird (told you she’d show up down here) http://archiveofourown.org/works/5564245

Forms by Trebia (a fandom staple) http://archiveofourown.org/works/5454443

Isolation by TearoomSaloon http://archiveofourown.org/works/5937457

Sky Marked Souls by AnonymousMink http://archiveofourown.org/works/5816995

On a White Horse by ms_qualia http://archiveofourown.org/works/5863972

Ahgh - there are just so many Reylo fics. This is definitely not a definitive list. Read terapid, corariley, and perrydowning too. I promise I love SO many and all of you writers are freaking brilliant.

OKAY - and lastly Bughead (Riverdale). I am still very active in this fandom, and it's constantly evolving - so I recommend you check out my Mod Faves tag at the @blueandgoldoffice for my current favourites. 🤙

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sueboohscorner · 8 years ago

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#Gotham S3 Ep. 16 "These Delicate and Dark Obsessions" Spoilers, Recap, and Review

Alrighty, nerds and geeks alike, let’s get back to Gotham. The sixteenth episode of the third season is titled ‘These Delicate and Dark Obsessions’, and it was directed by Jim Gordon himself, Ben McKenzie; a fantastic episode given direction by a fantastic actor in my opinion. We got the Court, we got Bruce, we got a guy called the Shaman, a Gordon family dispute, goons, mazes, and a strange partnership between Poison Ivy and Penguin! Let’s get started.

We are informed by the Court about the apparent and poor status of Gotham and the Court of Owls has so graciously taken it upon themselves to obtain some sort of super weapon to destroy the city. Oh, and since the Court does not seem too worried about the real Bruce Wayne (David Mazouz), there’s no reason we should worry about him, right?

Now, the last time we saw Bruce, his clone had sedated him in order to carry out the Court’s plan. And once again, the Court took it upon themselves to take the real Bruce to some unknown location. He just wakes up inside some sort of temple cell overlooking a snowy, mountainous area. Isn’t the Court of Owls just so freaking nice?

We quickly find out that Bruce is not alone when he comes to. The Shaman (Raymond J. Barry) informs Bruce that he has been waiting for him for a long time…..kinda creepy but at the same time, kinda cool and stoic.

Let’s get back to Gotham and see what’s going on there. During Oswald’s “absence”, Aubrey James has been reinstated in office…..yay. Jim is investigating in his father’s murder case; a supposed “car accident”. The man that was apparently drunk while driving and who killed Jim’s father had a chronic persistent hepatitis.

I’ll say that again: The driver who killed Jim’s father was diagnosed with chronic persistent hepatitis.

If some of you readers notice something wrong with that police report, don’t worry, so did Harvey Bullock (Donal Logue). Anyone who has chronic persistent hepatitis, or “the Irish Curse”, they are unable to drink. So much as a tongue dip could kill anyone with it. Jim takes Harvey’s alcoholic trivia and figures out that the man who killed his father was never drunk and that he had to believe his uncle Frank’s (James Remar) words.

Jim decided to have another chat with Frank. He admits that there is a weapon that the Court plans on using on Gotham City, although he has no idea what the weapon is exactly; but he does know who paid the lawyer of the supposed drunk driver: Carmine Falcone (John Doman). Dun dun DUN!!!

Let’s take a breather from all that for a minute and get to the hijinks!

We cut to see Ivy Pepper (Maggie Geha) wheel in a newly revived Oswald Cobblepot (Robin Lord Taylor) into her greenhouse to give him some fresh air and to show him her friends. By friends, I mean plants. A lot of plants. Remember she’s not Poison Ivy just yet, she’s just making her way. But hey, I think it’s cool that Ivy is good to her plants and that she’s close to them. Sometimes real friends or real people can be mean, plain and simple. She’s found her knack in life and more power to her, I say!

Instead of being grateful to Ivy for saving his life, Oswald decides to be a bit of a prick about her friendly, naïve, and enthusiastic nature. Although, I’d be mad too if I lost my political status, both in a mayoral sense and in the criminal underworld and if I was shot point plank and left for dead by someone I loved. But that’s no excuse for turning away an herbal beverage when it’s offered.

We all know that Penguin wouldn’t be Penguin if he didn’t have some sort of plan any time of the day, and Oswald aggressively expresses his need for his newest plan: Get an army of loyal goons and thugs and kill Edward and Barbara Kean. Simple, yet effective. He urges for Ivy to call in Oswald’s most dumbest and loyal follower Gabe so his plan will be properly and quickly executed

Gabe is so happy and excited to see that his old boss didn’t bite the big one! However, Ivy feels very distrustful towards Gabe. Oswald’s frustration comes to its end when he decides to give her the brush off, in a very prickish manner I might add. Ivy legitimately feels hurt and states that she thought they were friends. To which Penguin scoffs and tells her,

“You’re a bit of a freak.”

I don’t know about you, but the words “weird” or “freak” kind of trigger me. Much like several people in Gotham City, I am learning to own up to it and make it sort of my own; but you know, words still hurt. Oswald, I love you, but damn dude!

Understandably, Ivy leaves in a huff. Gabe inquires to Oswald if she didn’t trust him. Oz shrugs it off but is abruptly bopped in the head by Gabe. Turns out, Ivy was right.

Back to Bruce, he is confronted by the Shaman. He presents Bruce with a set of what look like acupuncture needles with strange symbols on each end. Bruce is hesitant when the Shaman pokes Bruce’s forehead. His eyes turn white, he gasps as this transcendent force runs through his mind.

In a flash, Bruce looks around to see that he’s not in the cell anymore. He’s back in Gotham City. A look of dread washes over his face when Bruce realizes that what he’s seeing is not happening in real time.

Bruce is standing, watching the memory of a lone thug shoot his parents in an alleyway.

Bruce is revived back into the present completely shocked and dumbfounded by what he saw. The Shaman tells Bruce to rest for he will come back and try again.

As we resume the story through Gordon’s perspective, we see him confront Carmine Falcone in his home about his father’s death. He demands the name of the person who ordered the hit in the first place. Falcone is a bit miffed to see Jim, to say the least. After all, he did murder his son on his wedding day; but he gives up the name anyway: Frank Gordon.

It’s Frank’s turn to be confronted by Jim. Frank admits that he was the one who initiated the hit on his own brother, Peter because he was planning on exposing the Court of Owls. Now, anyone in this situation would want to just beat up Frank right there on the spot, but not Jim. Above many things, Jim is a cop. He tries to put Frank under arrest, but Frank reluctantly puts Jim in his place, revealing where the weapon of the Court will be. Jim and Harvey realize that neither they nor the GCPD can just go down to where the weapon is without bringing too much attention to themselves from the Court.

So…..Jim has to ask for help.

The new Barbara Queen of Gotham (Erin Richards) happy agrees to assist Jim. She and Tabitha (Jessica Lucas) play a good round of punchies while interrogating one of the workers who work where the weapon is supposed to arrive: Dock 19. The worker admits that the weapon has already been shipped in. He gestures to a large crate labeled:

Indian Hill

But before anyone can do anything else, a single Talon appears with a sword and, at the risk of sounding like a kid being impressed by a cool assassin with a cool sword taking on a bunch of guys with guns, he was all *WHOOSH* *SWING* *JUMP* *STAB* and it was totally awesome!!!! When the Talon took out all of the guys with guns, Barbara and Tabitha make a break for it and get out of there.

Meanwhile, the Court of Owls let Frank know that they are aware of Jim’s actions about investigating in his father’s murder and order Frank to kill him.

Ivy, along with Oswald gets captured and restrained by Gabe and a few of his goon friends. While he’s reeling over the betrayal, Ivy remains cool as a cucumber because she just so happens to be wearing her special perfume. She gets one of the guys to come over and take a whiff, putting him under her complete control. She orders him to shoot and kill everyone but Gabe and untie them.

Ivy holds Gabe at gunpoint as Oswald considers reenlisting him. He tells Ivy to use her perfume to make Gabe tell the truth. Even though Gabe said he would go back to Penguin and be completely loyal, Ivy’s perfume made him sing. Gabe reveals that he never intended to remain loyal to Oswald and that the only reason that he and other would follow him was because they all feared him.

They feared him, but they never respected him.

Gabe also says that he always saw Oswald for who he really was: just a weak umbrella boy. A freak.

Needless to say, reminding Oswald of his past that way did not set well. In his anger, he kills and hacks Gabe with a gardening tool.

Now left with no men, no goons, Oswald is back to step one. He still needs an army to kill Edward and Barbara. Ivy gets a bright idea to recruit an army of freaks from Indian Hill that were driven out of Gotham.

Jim and Frank confront each other once again. He tells Jim that he has orders to kill Jim since he could not persuade him to join the Court. Frank finally fesses up and tells Jim that he need to join in order to finish what he and Peter wanted to do from the beginning: take the Court down. For extra insurance for Jim’s sake, Frank shoots himself in the head, making it look like Jim killed him in rage over his father’s death.

Back in the cell, the Shaman makes Bruce relive his parent’s murder. The Shaman inquires that Bruce has never let go of the pain of that night, and that he needs to in order to become something bigger: a protector. He needs Bruce to become a symbol in Gotham so that it can be reborn.

For a Batman fan, like myself, this is where I was squeeing and flipping out going “He means Batman! He means Batman!”

The last scene that we see is Jim Gordon visiting his father’s grave when he receives a phone call from Kathryn (Leslie Hendrix). Gordon does what his uncle asked of him when got the call. He made it seem like Jim killed Frank in an act of revenge for his father and he asks to meet her and the Court. Jim turns to the side and he sees a limousine waiting for him.

I can’t express how great this episode was and I give major applause to Ben McKenzie for his directing skills as well as his acting. Bravo!

Things I liked:

The dynamic and partnership between Jim and Harvey.

The newfound team and relationship between Ivy and Penguin.

The chance to see Bruce take his steps in becoming “a protector” for Gotham. I never really wanted to see Bruce become Batman when I first heard about this show, but it is evident that the people working on Gotham have a specific plan for Bruce and I love seeing that plan come to life.

James Remar and Raymond J. Barry. That’s it. They’re frigging awesome.

Loved seeing some Penguin rage.

Love what Maggie Geha is doing with Ivy Pepper. She may have aged, but she still kind of has that child mentality and maturity in her mannerisms. And yet she keeps the appearance of a street-wise woman. I’d like to think that if Ivy was still a kid and she went about in the same manner, no one would take her seriously or even look her way. But even though she still is somewhat a kid, since she has the body of a grown woman, Ivy will feel more heard.

Things I did not like:

Even though I agree Gabe got what was coming to him, I’m going to miss that lug.

8/10 for the sixteenth episode of the third season.

And as always, stay weird!

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happymetalgirl · 8 years ago

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Thoughts on Suicide Silence’s self-titled album

I can feel it already, this is going to be a big one. I put a summary in bold at the bottom in case you don’t have time for what’s ended up being 5 pages. Suicide Silence’s new self-titled album arrives at the climax of a controversial album-release cycle that has been typical in just as many ways as it has been atypical, and being the center of so many different kinds of attention, it is arguably the first majorly significant release of 2017. It was announced that their new self-titled album would feature, for the first time in the band’s history, a significant prominence of clean vocals, to which many fans reacted skeptically or even immediately stiff-armed and which many other fans expressed their openness toward. The new album’s promotional phase took a turn down dangerous roads when the band debuted their new sound via the release of the first single, “Doris”. The heavily Korn-channeling song ushered immediate criticism of Eddie Hermida’s brief uses of a Deftones-imitation brand of falsetto, the switch to a style closer in resemblance to nu metal than to deathcore, and the lackluster production.

This is really what’s made this such a massive album to discuss. Since “Doris” was released, the flurry of negative opinions has prompted dialogue on numerous topics, with some of the most restated mantras being that this “is not Suicide Silence”, that Mitch Lucker would be appalled by this new direction, that “the band should just change their name now”, and that Eddie’s joining of the band has done terrible things for them. These kinds of responses are, of course, not unheard of when it comes to a group sharply altering their stylistic trajectory, but the referendum on this new direction was so overwhelming that it could not end at just that. Prominent YouTube comedian/musician/metalhead Jared Dines gave his thoughts on the song, prefacing his video with the assurance that he likes Suicide Silence and was not making the video to bash them. That video, however, ended up spawning the “TEEHEE” meme, if you will, (onomatopoeic of Eddie’s falsetto on the song) that spread across discussion boards everywhere the album was being promoted. Unlike most instances of negative preemptive reception, however, the band (primarily Eddie and drummer Alex Lopez) lashed back at critical fans, repeatedly fanning the flames of dissent over the new song, even going so far as to drag other deathcore bands into the conflict, namely Thy Art Is Murder. A few weeks before the album’s release, the band released the second track of the album, “Silence”. Because “Doris” had already whipped up the frenzy it did, “Silence” was to the internet firestorm “Doris” created what a jug of lighter fluid would be upon an already engulfed office building. The moody, eerie track, once again exuded tons of Korn influence, drawing inspiration seemingly from Korn’s 2010 “return-to-roots” album, Korn III: Remember Who You Are. Eddie channels the sporadic, schizophrenic crying shouts that Jonathan Davis has made a trademark of his, and the rest of the band backs Eddie up much of the way Korn would probably back up Jonathan, making for a song that neither rekindled damaged or obliterated hopes nor exponentiated the pre-existing rage surrounding “Doris”.

I’ve no doubt been keeping up on all the unfortunate drama surrounding this release, mostly unintentionally. It’s been everywhere, and it makes me wonder if at this point the band just figured any press was good press and decided to just roll with it. On the issue of them changing sounds, I think I’ve made it clear in other discussions that I appreciate bands’ adventurousness and ambition to forge new territory for themselves and for metal, obviously with criteria beyond simply being a new sound in some context, so I had no issues with the premise of Suicide Silence introducing clean vocals and experimenting with their sound when they announced it. When “Doris” came out, however, it was clear that Suicide Silence “experimenting with their sound” was more accurately described as imitating Korn’s sound and/or Deftones’ sound, which they have every right to do if they feel inspired to do so. My issue with it, which was expounded upon with the subsequent release of “Silence”, is that it sounds uninspired beyond the band’s explicit admiration of their prominent influences. It sounds like they just wanted to play Korn/Slipknot musical dress up, and it’s not an outfit that looks good on them. Eddie’s vocal imitation of Jonathan Davis and Chino Moreno sound contrived, and it is the authenticity of the pain in Jonathan’s and Chino’s performances that made them so captivating on songs like “Daddy” and “Be Quiet and Drive” (as well as Corey Taylor’s performance on “Iowa”). With Eddie, and the useless lyrics, the grit-toothed vocal inflections are quite evidently feigned, and they don’t accomplish what Korn and Deftones did as a result. I’ll save as much discussion of the music as I can for later when I get into the rest of the album, but I think I should say that despite sounding unoriginal, “Doris” is not the train-wreck so many people are making it out to be. It’s nothing spectacular, but it’s well-structured, and at least it is an accurate Korn/Slipknot/Deftones portrayal. They retain the punchiness that made No Time to Bleed so enjoyable, and their taking cues from Korn’s Head and Munky in the guitar ambience department was crucial to both their taking on of that nu metal cloak and to keeping the listener’s attention for the song’s entirety, despite being so short. Without the Munky-esque guitar tweaks, the song would be so much more flat. And while we’re on the topic of the singles, the heavily Korn-traced “Silence” does nothing more in the way of convincing the listener that Eddie’s Jonathan-Davis-imitating screams truly coming from a place of torment, and the near-absence of any deathcore elements (even more nu metal centric than “Doris”) certainly hasn’t lifted any disappointed fans’ hopes. It’s an alright song, but the vocals don’t sound nearly as tortured as I’m sure Eddie and company would like to think they do, and nothing exciting is going on in the instrumental department with the open-7th-string half-step chugging and the rudimentary mid-tempo drum beat following a basic verse-chorus song structure with lyrics that aren’t quite as meaningful or well-delivered as what would deserve their mentally-broken-down-type shouting and moaning.

The band’s course of action after the backlash from “Doris” is understandable to a degree, but the level to which they were unprofessional in their defense of their work was inexcusable. Plenty of bands have weathered waves of disdain for disappointing fans, be it changing their sound or refusing to budge and settling for a career of redundant imitations of their past. Even Gojira had some fans worried when they released “Stranded”, but they let Magma speak for itself and that album definitely ended up winning most people over in the long run (I wrote a little discussion about it a few weeks ago, being that it was my favorite album of 2016). And that’s what I think Suicide Silence should have done. If they are truly confident in this record, they should just sit back and let their work do its work. Unfortunately, the band, in their press presence, has been coming off as very, for lack of a better word, butthurt. It’s the nature of music that people will have their criticisms, and sometimes it’s a lot of criticisms, but the band seems to take it personally and they have not handled it gracefully. I understand that having something you worked on being spit on is hard to deal with, but it would likely have fizzled out or plateaued if Eddie and Chris had not aggravated the already upset fans. And redirecting onto another band and taking an unprovoked, cheap, low-brow shot at their artistic integrity is, unnecessary to say the least.

To shift gears and address some of the cliché fan complaints, I don’t think Suicide Silence’s musical shift obligates them to change their name any more than Sepultura is obligated to do so (they aren’t, they can do what they want). And any collective should be able to venture into new territory as said collective even if their adventures prove fruitless or counterproductive.

I also have no idea what Mitch would think of what his bandmates are doing these days, and I think bringing him up relentlessly is about as productive as speculating about what Metallica would be like if they still had Cliff or Jason. I do find it a bit irksome that so many people are quick to invoke Mitch in these discussions, assuming that they know how he would feel about all this, when the bandmates who knew him personally and artistically still have his passing fresh in their mind and are aware of Suicide Silence as a part of his legacy. I think it’s disrespectful on a certain level to try to speak for a man who died, who you didn’t know apart from his music and his public persona, to the people who knew him closely, both to him and his bandmates.

That’s just the context, and that’s about as much as I want to get into it with this discussion, if not more than I’d really like to. So, with that let’s get into the music…

I’ve already discussed “Doris” and “Silence” in the paragraphs above, so I’ll jump to the album’s third track, “Listen”. On “Listen” the band actually sounds more accomplished and more genuinely experimental, seamlessly blending their obvious nu metal influences with the sinister deathcore they’ve come to be known for. The song is soundly-structured with an eerie chorus and outro on which the creepiness of the guitars just absolutely shine, and for the first time on the album the band actually achieves what they set out to do on this self-titled mission, sounding like a band with reverence for their idols but the artistic dignity to not just copy them. Eddie can still be heard doing his best Corey Taylor impersonation when screaming “the perfect storm will never be good enough”, but it’s brief and he spends plenty of time doing low death growls which, in coordination with the bi-polar guitar assault, makes for the most dynamic song on the album. “Listen” would have been a much more convincing single than either of the two preceding tracks and is my favorite song on the album. The band hits a bit of a bump in the road moving into “Dying in a Red Room”, trying without as much original conviction to do their best version of an ambient Deftones song. Again, the guitar work is decent, but overall, the song makes little progress and doesn’t captivate in the territories in which it lingers. It picks up some tempered intensity by the end, but it peters out quickly without making any real impact on the experience of the song.

The mid-point of the album, “Hold Me Up, Hold Me Down” turns the nu metal heaviness back up, and the pre-chorus of sorts is laced with some tasty wailing guitars and very Fieldy-esque bass slapping. The song meanders sort of awkwardly around Eddie’s pig-squealing during its deathcore-ish breakdown and his faux-tortured delivery of the titular refrain. It’s a bit of a strange spot on the album that kind of serves best as a transitionary moment to the next half of the album, but even at that it fumbles around cluelessly and flails around just doing everything the band can do to put a song together.

The following track, “Run”, is more put-together, but still a bit awkward musically and lyrically. The guitars don’t save the song from its boring fate during the verses as they often do throughout much of album. The distortion on Eddie’s voice during the groovy bass line of the chorus makes the song so uncannily nu metal it’s hard to hear it as Suicide Silence and not a Korn knock-off band. The groove is there in the chorus and it’s catchy, but it kind of makes you wish it wasn’t because it emphasizes the unoriginality of the performance. The song brings no surprises to the table and leaves the listener shoulder-shrugged by the end, leading into “The Zero”, which, luckily, is a bit more intriguing. Eddie still delivers some flounderingly poetic lyrics in the early-years-Moreno style he’s been delivering them in under the guise of conveying intense emotion, and there’s a little bit more voice distortion in the pre-chorus here too. But the song does shake things up a little bit more during the bridge and the pull-off guitar parts during the calm sections keep it above water, and the band finally builds to and pulls off an impactful heavy outro by the end. It pushes back up, not colossally, against the downward slip of the string of 3 lackluster songs.

“Conformity” is the band’s attempt at a Vol. 3-ish vocal-focused ambient “ballad” if you will. Eddie actually sounds a lot like the Slipknot frontman he’s clearly paid so much tribute to on this album and the acoustic guitars resemble very closely those on “Circle” and even give hints of Opeth-influence. The trajectory of the increasing density of the electric instrument and drumming presence that culminate in Eddie doing some more distorted shouting by their climax are no shocker and definitely tired at this point on the album, but before that Eddie sings the best he has on the whole album during the mellow parts, an ability crucial for him to prove after the numerous shaky performances leading up to this one. Aside from that, though, the song leaves little to be remembered by and fades out almost unenthusiastically. Closing the album up, “Don’t Be Careful, You Might Hurt Yourself” ramps up the heaviness and the deathcore vibe with blast beats and guitar riffing that fans of The Cleansing and No Time to Bleed should be plenty familiar with. Eddie still uses some clean vocals and his nu metal-ish shouting, but the band as a whole sounds a lot more comfortable on the closing track, and not just because it’s more proportionally deathcore-esque. The middle portion of the song quiets down to the spooky and then anticipatory mosh-prepping that the band has mastered, ending the album on a very necessary high note (before it whistles off merrily as though to remind everyone to not take it so seriously and type pages upon pages over it… whoops).

Overall, Suicide Silence’s self-titled album accomplished some of what it was meant to, toying with the more respectable side of 90’s nu metal with mixed results, with the project seemingly bogged down by creative corner-cutting that left many parts feeling like cheap imitation when it was supposed to be Suicide Silence being as Suicide Silence as they could be. What was probably meant in tribute to bands like Korn, Slipknot, and Deftones instead often came out hollow and sometimes flavorless. There are a good deal of moments on the album that show the band as being capable of melting these sounds together into a unique dish, but only a few times is it done consistently throughout an entire song. It made for a pretty uneasy 45 minutes, and I think most fans who were scared by “Doris” will still not be thrilled, even by the stronger parts of the album. I think the band shot themselves in the foot a bit with their promoting the album as kind of their “true sound” to fans who they probably didn’t expect to be so damn fickle, and then engaging negatively with these fans who were still throwing their temper tantrums. The album is not a disaster, nor is it a spit in the face of or an uprooting of the band’s status as a deathcore-focused band, and, personally, I found it to be a small step up from the snoozefest that was You Can’t Stop Me. That’s not saying much, however, and I don’t think I’ll be revisiting this thing ever after the tedious listens I gave it to write this, and if fans are as stubborn as they were when “Doris” was dropped, it might be hard for the band to convince them with this album to stop pouting until they get their way on the next album. On one hand I disagree with many of the points the fans have made about how disastrous this is, but on the other, it’s a tough pill to swallow and the way the band shoves it down its fans’ throats is only serving to make the next appointment all the more stressful.

#suicide silence #new album #album review #deathcore #nu metal #self titled #metal

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dazombi3fari3 · 5 years ago

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Hey doll hey!!! How are you today? Great I hope. I’m a little nerve racked at the moment. I called my doctor to ask for an appointment since my flu is still pretty bad. They made me answer a heap of questions and then told me that I can’t be seen by the doctor until I call to get the Covid-19 testing done. I was shocked because I haven’t traveled abroad nor has any of the members of my household, the only contact I have had with the outside world has been to the local food store, my mailman, and tons of food deliveries. But because I couldn’t answer as to whether or not the people I have come in contact with have travels abroad or not, the doctor’s office can not see me until I’m tested…. I have the flu … I have the freaking flu! I feel bad having to take a spot and a test away from someone who may truly have the Coronavirus and is in need of the test, but because I have an autoimmune illness the doctor’s office wont take the chance and so here I am having to get up early to get tested…. I have already self imposed the social distancing and now will have to also quarantine myself until the results come back. I’m sorry if it sounds like I’m whining, I’m truly not, I’m just super frustrated and just had to vent. I promise I’m not feeling ungrateful for a diligent health system, I just feel like I’m taking away from someone who needs that test and that time slot. OK…. rant over…. Today I wanted to do a glam look but I just didn’t have enough energy and I couldn’t stop sneezing so I just decided to do a soft cut crease instead…. Let’s jump into the scent and Face of the Day …..

Estee Lauder Modern Muse Perfume. I sill have a sour belly so I chose another softer cleaner scent today. I purchased mine at Sephora for $95 for 1.7 fluid ounces. The notes are: EXOTIC MANDARIN, HONEYSUCKLE NECTAR, DEWY PETALS, JASMINE SAMBAC, CHINA ABSOLUTE, TUBEROSE, FRESH LILY, PATCHOULI COEUR and PATCHOULI CRIST, AMBER WOOD, SOFT MUSK, and MADAGASCAR VANILLA. This scent is simply put exotic. It has truly the right mix of floral and woody scents to it. I have repurchased this perfume 3 times since first trying it a few years ago. It’s classy with a hint of free spirit and goes with anything you wear. I’m almost out of the bottle I have and have a new bottle in my Sephora cart ready to purchase when I run out.

Base: I primed my face using Catrice Cosmetics Prime and Fine Poreless Blur Primer ($7.99 at Ulta).My foundation today is a combo of 2 pumps Catrice Cosmetics Light Correcting Serum Primer ($10.99 at Ulta) in the shade Candlelight, 3 pumps of the Physicians Formula Spotlight Illuminating Primer ($14.39 at Walgreens) in the shade Glow, 2 droppers of Cover FX Custom Cover Drops ($29 at Ulta) in the shade G Medium 1, and 2 squirts of ELF BB Cream ($6 on their website) in the shade Nude. I concealed my under eyes using Too Faced Born This Way Naturally Radiant Concealer (I believe this concealer had been discontinued) in the shade Light/Medium. I set my full face using Believe Beauty Matte Blur Loose Powder ($5 at Dollar General) in the shade Translucent and warmed up my face using MAC Bronzing Powder ($30 at MAC) in the shade Matte Bronze. For touch up powder today I am using Flower Beauty Light Illusion Perfecting Powder ($13.99 at Target) in the shade Beige L4-M1.

Eyes: I primed my lids using NARS Soft Matte Complete Concealer ($30 at Sephora) in the shade Medium 1 Custard and set that using RCMA No Color Powder ($15 on the Beautylish website) For today’s eye look I used the BH Cosmetics Ultimate Matte 42-Color Eyeshadow Palette ($28 but on sale for $19.60 on their website). For my transition shade I used a combo of the 1st shade of the 2nd row (a dusty tangerine matte) and the 4th shade of the 2nd row (a mid tone camel brown matte). For my second transition shade I used the 1st shade of the 5th row (a dusty mid tone taupe matte). To deepen the crease and the outer 1/3 of my mobile lid I used the 6th shade of the 5th row (a mid tone chocolate brown matte). I cut the crease to the inner 2/3 of my mobile lid using more of the NARS Soft Matte Concealer and then I applied the L’Oreal Infallible 24-HR Eyeshadow ($7.99 at Walmart) in the shade Amber Rush (a rose gold with a champagne flip creme pigment). I created a drop shadow on the lower lash line using the 4th shade of the 1st row (a red based terracotta matte) and then line my lash line using more of the 6th shade of the 5th row (a mid tone chocolate brown matte). I set my brows using Maybelline Great Lash Mascara ($6.99 at Ulta but I purchased mine from Amazon) in clear and then filled in my brows using Benefit Precisely My Brow Pencil ($24 at Ulta and Sephora) in the shade 4.5 and then I carved out my brow line using the BH Studio Pro Brow Highlighter ($5 on their website) on the matte side and set the brow line using the 1st shade of the 1st row (a creamy vanilla matte). I highlighted the inner corners using Hikari Cosmetics Creme Pigment ($15 on their website) in the shade Honeydew (icy pink with silver and lavender reflect). I lined my lower waterlines using Charlotte Tilbury Eye Powder Pencil ($22 at Sephora) in the shade The Classic (a mid toned brown). I popped on a pair of Ardell Studio Effects Lashes ($5.99 at Ulta) in the style Wispies and coated my upper and lower lashes with L’Oreal Voluminous Carbon Black Mascara ($8.99 at Ulta).

Cheeks and Lips: For blush today I am wearing the ELF Primer Infused Blush ($6 at Ulta and the ELF website) in the shade Always Punchy (a bright coral matte). Today I highlighted the tops of my cheeks, center of the chin, bridge of the nose, Cupid’s Bow, and high points of the brow using the Glow shade from the Too Faced Born This Way Turn Up The Light Highlighting Palette ($42 at Ulta and Sephora). I then used the Soft Focus powder from the same palette to blur the skin a bit and buff all my products in together. I lined my lips using ColourPop Lippie Pencil (only available in the Lippie Pencil Vault now) in the shade Lumiere (dusty mauve pink) and filled in the lips using ColourPop Lippie Stix ($7 on their website) in the shade Ziggie (dark terracotta matte).

Final Thoughts: SAVINGS ALERT!!!! Joah Cosmetics is currently having a sale on all their cosmetics. It’s buy 1 get 1 half off. This is a drug store brand that you can also find at CVS and the buy 1 get 1 half off is also available on their website and in stores. I just purchased a full face of products to test out and review for you… 25 products and I only paid $20!!! I just figured I’d pass this sale along to all my makeup dolls out there! The sale ends March 30th.

Well that’s all for now dolls. Please stay safe. Hope you have a great rest of your day/night and that you are in good spirits. Remember…. Save a spoon for a bit of lipstick.

XOXO

Soft Cut Crease Face of the Day Hey doll hey!!! How are you today? Great I hope. I'm a little nerve racked at the moment.

#Beauty #Face of the day #Makeup

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elenetzteil-blog · 5 years ago

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ASUS Chromebook Flip C434TA Review

The Asus Chromebook Flip C434 is usually a sequel that surpasses the original in virtually every single capacity.Changing your cash maker in any considerable way is like playing with fire.The flame could puff out,change right into a warming blaze,or spiral uncontrolled and turn into a harmful inferno.Asus took just such an opportunity updating its beloved C302CA convertible,and people accu asus a32li9h would be the types who should really experience all warm and tingly with regard to the success.Below is Asus Chromebook Flip C434 overview.

Design

The Asus Chromebook Flip C434 has two principal positions.It needs to convince more and more people Chromebooks aren't low cost tat for people who spend for his or her weekly store with coppers simply to experience the excitement of scrimping.And it must be cheaper when compared to the almost disastrously high-priced Google PixelBook.The Chromebook Flip C434 has an all-aluminium shell that appears and feels sharp,and isn't going to flex too significantly.There isn't any bendy lid or a keyboard that bows underneath finger pressure here.If it had been slightly slimmer and lighter it would hold the design chops to match up with Home windows laptops very well.Even as it is the Asus Chromebook Flip C434 retains its possess just fantastic.The 'Flip' element of the name tells you this is a hybrid.Its hinge may be flexed completely,hence the underside finally ends up beside the lid.Individuals hinged details are chunkier than common for a reason.Google Assistant oplader lenovo an2005we is steadily coming to Chromebooks,and whilst it really is not in our Asus Chromebook Flip C434 still,it'll supply another excuse to employ it hybrid-style,with the keyboard propping up the display like a huge picture frame.Google's Chrome OS software would not by natural means invite tablet-like use,as its dwelling screen is nearly bare.Connections are quite generous,too,with over some high-end Home windows laptops offer you.There are two USB-C Gen 1 ports,a single older-style USB-A port in addition to a microSD slot.There is not any committed video clip output,however , you can often hook it approximately a keep an eye on or Television set applying a USB-C adapter cable.There is extra to making a laptop oplader microsoft surface professional 5 appear high-end than steel panels.Currently the screen ought to seem appropriate way too,as well as Asus Chromebook Flip C434's definitely does. It's an edge-to-edge glass surface,so no lifted borders,and the surrounds are thin in all directions.This notebook might not have all that a lot layout temperament,but it really will not glimpse low-cost.The monitor by itself is nice also.It measures fourteen inches throughout,color is punchy and distinction strong.In the cost Asus could theoretically almost have got away with using a show panel with somewhat confined colour saturation,but there isn't any noticeable not enough that here.Brightness could potentially be a little bit much better,but it really still compares fairly very well to other sub Windows laptops.Dimension is really just one of the most important variables.We would be delighted to work all day,daily on a monitor similar to this.You can find plenty of house to arrange apps accu acer aspire v7-582p and workflow,and even though the complete High definition resolution won't leave textual content seeking as sharp as,say,a MacBook's display,you are paying out 50 % the cost right here.

The keyboard cements the Asus Chromebook Flip C434's prospective as being a real work laptop computer.There's a good total of vacation,and it feels not too dissimilar from the vintage 2015 MacBook Pro.This keyboard responses is ever so somewhat deeper in tone,but it's a dilemma of character relatively than quality.The keys are backlit as well,but as opposed to Home windows laptops there isn't any committed important to show that on and off.Press Alt and F4 and the degree adjustments: professional tip with the working day.The trackpad underneath is just one component that won't really a match to the higher-price adapter samsung s34e790c this Asus is supposed to match.It truly is huge,and appears the part,but the surface area is plastic fairly than glass,and its clicker doesn't have a super-high-quality experience.There is a lot of give to it at the base,none in the prime.A fab pad would've concluded off this Chromebook superbly,but this one particular is simply Alright at finest.

Display

With these slim bezels on this machine,my eyes have been drawn on the Flip C434's 14-inch,1080p touch screen,that is pretty vivid and vivid,if limited of groundbreaking.After i watched a trailer for Detective Pikachu,nearby skyscrapers forged a lurid blue glow around the Pokemon's electric-yellow fur.A more in-depth inspection on this sharp display screen unveiled a delicate oplader dell da150pm100 chevron pattern while in the lovable Pokemon's detective cap,which sat above cute watery eyes that rival in cuteness all those of Puss in Boots.The glossy panel is quite reflective,so that you would not wish to utilize the Flip C434 exterior with a sunny working day.The 14-inch screen addresses 93 per cent with the sRGB color gamut,as outlined by our colorimeter.When the Chromebook x2 and Chromebook Professional have more-vivid shows,the Chromebook Flip C434's panel is much more vibrant than those on its predecessor,the Chromebook Clip 302CA,and also the average Chromebook.The Flip C434's exhibit equally falls from the middle from the pack for brightness.Having a peak rating of 286 nits,the Flip 434's monitor is much more luminous in comparison to the average Chromebook; however,the shows about the Chromebook Professional,Chromebook x2 and Flip C302CA glow brighter.The contact screen exactly tracked my erratic swipes as I navigated from just one Google Chrome tab towards the subsequent,examining sports scores and viewing Overwatch on Twitch.Even though the Flip C434 is modest for your 14-inch notebook,it truly is still rather cumbersome as being a pill.All of the substances adapter microsoft floor pro 3 are listed here.Regardless of whether you need to drown out the din at your local espresso store or settle in for just a late-night film,the C434's assortment of audio solutions have you included.I am constantly happy to discover a headphone jack on laptops - there is certainly only no justification to depart it from the spec sheet.Cleanse seem pumped by way of my favourite set of wired headphones by way of the C434's 3.5mm jack.You may as well tap in the Bluetooth radio in case you want,nevertheless the wired port delivers substantially excellent seem.The integrated stereo speakers will not be your normal tin cans.Asus says the C434 has huge resonance chambers hiding within the chassis and that i imagine it.The Chromebook Flip provides a lot more than ample audio to fill an business office,resort,or dorm area.I used to be delighted together with the well balanced profile accu lenovo u330 with the seem,it failed to lean also seriously towards bass or treble tones.It can be would not rock your globe,nonetheless it suffices for daily listening.

Performace

The plan of that significant conserving could be the main reason you purchase a Chromebook.But precisely what is its Chrome OS software program actually like The greater you pay back for it,the more serious it appears: which is the blunt fact.It really is fantastic in the event you hop in between general public Wi-Fi hopper,or stay off Google Docs,as the Asus Chromebook Flip feels a little bit like Android which has a appropriate Windows-style front stop.You'll be able to operate various applications at once,in scalable home windows,equally as you'll having a usual laptop.And it supports adapter dell 689c4 Android apps.This opens an entire globe around the Asus Chromebook Flip,whether or not it can be just the cellular phone and pill application entire world instead compared to the just one of more "serious" stuff you have on Home windows.For example,it is possible to down load Microsoft Term and have a completely serviceable version of that phrase processor,if Google Docs seems just a little flimsy.We downloaded the first Sonic the Hedgehog from Google Enjoy,plugged in a very PS4 gamepad over USB and relived the 90s for 10 minutes.We tried out some races accu lenovo z710 in Asphalt eight.It operates just dandy other than the odd dropped frame and looks superb on the 14in monitor.It is possible to use a lot of entertaining with a Chromebook,and it nails gentle get the job done,juggling all those Google docs people today hold sharing along with you.But remember what it can not do.An Acer Swift three,a less expensive Windows notebook,allows you to make use of the same new music output application as Calvin Harris.It lets you utilize the same photo modifying software program as,properly,whoever shot past month's Vogue protect.A Chromebook won't.In addition it stumbles with fairly lots of Android apps.Some you should not scale properly into the complete display screen sizing,and other individuals are only not appropriate.You are able to perform Gameloft's Asphalt eight.But Asphalt 9 That is off restrictions.Ark:Survival Advanced installs,but it really would not operate.Minecraft Story Mode has really serious touchscreen challenges and Munch's Oddysee isn't going to even make it to your title display in advance of closing alone down.Within this context,the place Google Perform appears to be a selection box of biscuits someone has dropped en-route,raw electricity oplader lg lcap39 would not really necessarily mean that much.Nevertheless the Asus CHromebook Flip's CPU is barely good.It is really the Intel Main m3-8100Y.This is often a processor designed for light-weight jobs and very low power use.The more affordable HP Chromebook X360 has an Intel i3-8130U,that's a lot more powerful.But does it issue You could argue Chrome OS in its present-day condition adapter lg 24mn33dpz won't seriously do considerably that warrants a blistering CPU.Along with the m3-8100Y isn't "cheaper" when compared to the i3-8130U.It is just distinct.

The Chromebook Flip C434 is my new favored Chromebook.The 2-in-1 laptop improves on its by now superb predecessor by presenting a bigger,14-inch display within a likewise sized aluminum chassis.Together having a somewhat shiny and vivid 1080p panel,the Flip C434 has effective speakers and lasts for practically ten hrs with a demand.But no laptop is perfect.The Flip C434 is over the pricey aspect to get a Chromebook,and it scored combined final results accu asus tf201 on our overall performance benchmarks.However,the Chromebook Flip C434 is often a standout 2-in-1 that provides Mac and Home windows consumers a compelling motive to change to Chrome.In case you choose a detachable and also have some room in the funds,then go with the HP Chromebook x2,a 12.3-inch hybrid pill which has a bright display,lengthy battery existence along with a relaxed detachable keyboard.And when you would like to conserve cash,then the Samsung Chromebook three might be the laptop in your case.Even though the Chromebook three doesn't offer you the identical effectiveness as being the Flip C434,this is often a steal thanks to its long battery daily life and vivid display.Overall,the Chromebook Flip C434 is definitely an excellent 2-in-1 laptop computer as well as the system I'd recommend to any individual creating the switch to Chrome OS.Asus packed in a reasonable 48 watt-hours of battery ability into the Chromebook Flip C434's chassis.Combined with the low-power CPU as well as the normally efficient nature of Chrome OS,we hoped that the 2-in-1 might get us via a functioning working day away from the charge.That's specifically since it turned out,although we hit a snag as we commenced our testing.Usually,we utilize the Basemark world wide web benchmark to check battery everyday living underneath load,but the Chromebook Flip C434 wouldn't finish the examination.So,we stepped to our net searching test that operates via a collection of well-known internet sites right until the battery operates out.Here,the Asus lasted for a very fantastic 10 in addition to a 50 % hrs.Which is greater than the Acer Chromebook 13's 8 as well as a fifty percent hours,plus the HP Chromebook x2's just one hour extended.It's also aggressive with top quality Home windows 10 laptops like the Dell XPS 13.Inside our video clip looping examination that runs via a nearby Avengers trailer right up until the machine oplader dell dw5g3 shuts down,the Chromebook Flip C434 managed around eleven.five several hours.Which is nearly three several hours for a longer time compared to Acer Chromebook 13 and close to two hrs longer as opposed to HP Chromebook x2 and Google Pixelbook.High quality Windows laptops do past more time on this check,even so.All round,you're likely to acquire a reliable functioning day from the Chromebook Flip C434,as long as the majority of your operate is designed up in the common Chrome OS productivity responsibilities.Fan the flames of Android online games,and you will find the battery to burn off out a great deal a lot more immediately.

Verdict

Just like Home windows and Mac laptops,Chromebooks change a good deal in regards to selling price.There are bottom-of-the-barrel solutions that should not be regarded as by any one,and within the flip aspect,you could commit nicely in excess of in case you want one thing truly premium and high-end.On the subject of very affordable styles that happen to be still worthy of a darn,however,Chromebooks have got a lot to supply.You can find a good deal of great Chromebooks at various rates,but from what we have seen,the best student-friendly Chromebooks charge underneath.That is extremely reasonably priced to get a high-quality notebook accu hp 14-p001xx that'll last for years to come,and when you consult your wallet,we're certain it's going to be quite happy with that range,too.In truth,with a thing like the Lenovo Chromebook C330,you could expend properly less than and nonetheless get an unbelievable device.Also,because Chrome OS is actually a significantly lighter functioning process than anything like Home windows,Chromebooks with lower-end processors and less RAM are inclined to conduct a lot better as opposed to similarly-speced Home windows equipment.

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mediacalling · 6 years ago

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7 Instagram Content Ideas for Creatively Blocked Social Media Managers

Keeping your Instagram feed fresh with diverse content can be taxing—especially when your time and budget are tight. So what happens when you’re feeling a creative block, too?

To help you create Instagram content, I’ve put together seven ideas with examples that really work, so you can try them out for yourself.

First, let’s take a quick look at what the most successful Instagram posts cover.

What Instagram Content Does Well?

Time spent watching video is up 80% but photos still see more engagement than videos.

Pizza is the most popular Instagrammed food, with sushi and chicken taking 2nd and 3rd places.

The most popular hashtags on Instagram are #Love, #Instagood, #Me, #Cute, and #Follow.

Posts that include another handle gain at least 56% more engagement.

Posts with at least one hashtag gain 12.6% more engagement.

And posts that tag a location receive 79% more engagement.

Photos with faces get 38% more likes.

The most popular picture on Instagram is currently a picture of an egg with over 40 million likes. (True story.)

Let’s assume that you don’t have big brand’s budget or advertising revenue. Now, let’s look at some ideas that won’t break your budget but will nab a lot of engagement.

1. How-To Posts for Instagram

If you have a product that can be demonstrated, Instagram Stories and saved Stories are perfect placements for your tutorials. A how-to tutorial will provide your Instagram fans with plenty of info about your product (its design, packaging, colors, and size) while also giving insider tips and tricks.

A how-to post would work well for beauty products, fashion, crafts, hair, cookery, tech, or any other gadget that can be demoed.

Clinique rocked the how-to theme with 5 Genius Foundation Hacks. (This is something you can do for your own products.) The key is to keep your how-to simple, focused, and fun. Remember, your aim is to make people aspire to own your product!

How to Ace a How-to Post

Show off the product from every angle and every shade or type available.

Keep the video short and punchy. (Fewer than 2 minutes is always best.)

List the details and purchase link in the description.

2. Behind the Scenes

Behind-the-scenes photos and videos are ideal for giving your fans a feel for your brand personality, amazing team members, and awesome working environment. They also foster transparency making you appear more trustworthy and authentic.

At Contentworks Agency, we dedicate our Instagram feed to “behind-the-scenes” footage capturing the real and funny moments of working in digital marketing. Here’s Business Director Niki fronting out a dinosaur over coffee:

How to Ace a Behind-the-Scenes Post

Keep the content real; forget official statements and scripted videos for this one.

Share your fails as well as your glossy victories. (There’s a huge market for humor. )

Interact with commentators or fans who will then become loyal to you.

3. AMA (Ask Me Anything)

Feeling brave? If you are, then AMAs are a tried and tested Instagram page idea for you to explore. They are also highly engaging and easy to shoot from a good camera phone in your office.

You can do an AMA with your team members, bosses or technical team. Just make sure you have people with a good knowledge of your brand and its products. You can keep the AMA to one topic such as “Ask our CMO about our rebrand” or keep it open for any questions.

General AMA sessions are a great way to learn more about your audience’s interests and can help form future content if you notice recurring questions or themes.

I love Siemens Gamesa who got just the right balance of hype on its AMA. The company has a team-centric Instagram account that makes the company appear open, caring, and honest.

How to Ace an AMA Post

Use the #askmeanything #AMA hashtag in your posts, and create hype before you go live.

Eliminate background noise or interruptions during your AMA. If they happen, roll with it. (After all you’re live.)

A word of caution: Think carefully about doing this type of Instagram content if you’ve recently had a PR crisis. If you choose to go ahead, you should expect questions to be about the crisis, and be ready to answer them.

4. AMA Account Takeovers

An account takeover can be a little like the AMA or it can be completely different. How you do this type of post depends on your brand and how adventurous you are!

To do a takeover, hand the camera over to an interesting individual on certain days or for special events. If you make it a regular thing (for example, #TakeoverTuesdays), you’re set for a regular Tuesday content plan.

If you’re working with influencers, then consider this to be cross marketing, and expect to increase your channel’s followers and engagement. You will attract fans who might otherwise not have found your brand (which is awesome).

Takeovers create a sense of urgency because the brand’s followers and the influencer’s followers have a very short window of time to catch the takeover live.

When beer brand Stella Artois teamed up with Matt Damon in an effort to help end the global water crisis, it was an absolutely epic Instagram Account Takeover. Now, we don’t have Matt on our side (*cries a little inside*), but that doesn’t mean social media managers can’t steal the style of this account takeover.

How to Ace an Account Takeover

Team up with your chosen charity or a local conservation group to help spread awareness. Allow their coordinator to take over your channel.

If you’re a business brand, give one of your clients a chance to introduce its services or products. Twitter co-founder Jack Dorsey’s company @Square posts photos of the businesses and people that use its products.

Let different teams (e.g., IT one week, Marketing the next) in your company takeover your account. Don’t forget the people behind the scenes on your factory floor or delivery service.

5. Food Pics, Videos, Everything Food

Whenever I’m tagged by our content manager Kelly on Instagram, the post is always about food like juicy burgers, beautiful ice creams, syrupy delicious waffles. Why? We love food—so does everyone else!

So, if you’re running a café or restaurant, posting tantalizing photos of starters, desserts, and cocktails is absolutely the way to go.

And even if you’re not a food brand, you can still do this type of post. Sharing photos of your team lunch, a company birthday cake, or branded cupcakes will absolutely get eyes on your posts. Why not make it a regular thing? You could travel around the office to see what everyone’s eating for lunch or tag local eateries that your team likes to visit.

How to Ace a Food Post

Timing is everything. Restaurants post photos at around 11 AM because followers are hungry and thinking about lunch at that time. If they showed them at 2 PM, followers have already chosen where to eat.

Always use food hashtags in photos like this, even if you’re not a food-based company. You will attract higher engagement and perhaps some new followers.

You don’t need professional camera equipment, but you should aim to take clear, bright, and fresh photos. (Nobody wants to see Kevin from Accounting eat a dry tuna sandwich. Sorry, Kevin.) The idea is to make your audience hungry for your product!

6. Boomerang

Have you tried Boomerang yet? It’s an Instagram camera app that creates short, auto-looping videos. (It’s a bit like a GIF, but those are less easy for Instagram.) Your brand can experiment with Boomerang to introduce people, demonstrate a skill or technique, or show off a new product.

Mumm Napa Winery uses the short looping videos on its Instagram channel to show the wine being opened, fizz bubbling up, and glasses being clinked. This type of post ideal for these little snapshots in time. The great thing about Boomerang is it creates a studio feel without the need for expensive equipment. You can easily stage the perfect Boomerang from your office.

How to Ace a Boomerang Post

Don’t try to get information across or to tell a story. Boomerang just captures a snapshot or gesture.

Remember that Boomerang plays forward, then loops backward and starts over again.

Make a live photo more interesting with Boomerang. Just open Instagram and swipe right to access Stories. Then swipe up on the screen to choose from the pictures in your camera roll taken within the 24-hour bracket. 3D Touch the screen to convert the picture to a Boomerang and post it to your Story.

7. Make a Slideshow

Instagram slideshows are great because you don’t need to make a video. So, if you don’t have the videographer and the studio but you want the effect, then this is for you.

Here’s how you to make a slideshow post:

Hit the plus button to add a photo or video.

In the photo window look for “select multiple.”

Choose up to 10 photos or videos.

Edit the order, add filters, write captions and tag people.

And you’re done!

Slideshows work well for countdowns, top 10 lists, and step-by-step instructions. Slideshow posts are also incredible for showing before and after transformations or action shots that may be difficult to film. Check out Jason Paul, legendary parkour athlete and how he uses slideshow combinations of photo and video.

How to Ace a Slideshow post

Post pictures that share a theme. For example, a diner may share berry-flavored drinks or a small salon will share pastel nail polish choices.

Create a powerful story, and take your followers on a journey. Why not show the creation of one of your products, for example? Or the process of performing a service? If you are a hair stylist, show the color transformation from start to finish.

Use slideshows for panoramas. You can do classic panoramas, show them in bigger scale, or show different parts of an action shot. This would be perfect for outdoorsy brands like car companies, hiking equipment or sports accessories.

* * * Instagram provides an ideal platform for you to get creative, and you don’t need a big ad budget to get your brand noticed. Keep these Instagram content ideas bookmarked for those moments when you feel creatively blocked.

7 Instagram Content Ideas for Creatively Blocked Social Media Managers posted first on http://getfblikeblog.blogspot.com

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vivamaisfeliz-blog · 7 years ago

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Seja Feliz

How about we simply say… first thing when you flown out of bed toward the beginning of today, you woke up and found a little yellow post-it note stuck on the lavatory reflect that could change your life. You grinned, in a flash perceiving this extremely recognizable word.

What's more, on the back were directions on the most proficient method to join a greater amount of it in your life so you'd feel less anxiety, torment and pressure… more lighthearted, fun and fiery.

Indeed, even without the helpful dandy guidelines (you ponder internally)… including somewhat more is no enormous thing. All things considered, you've done it each and every day of your existence without contemplating it. It comes as normal to you as flickering. It's as much fun as a long past due visit with one of your dearest companions, as shoddy as an evening daydream, as bravo as a 15 minute exercise, yet as essential as the air you relax. You look once more… it says L-A-U-G-H-T-E-R.

Giggling is the no cost, no exertion, super straightforward, astonishingly fun, overnight answer for more joyful, more beneficial, alegria de viver. American logical and restorative diaries have refered to the therapeutic and mental advantages of chuckling. This is no snickering issue.

Giggling can mend your torment… decrease your anxiety… enable you to rest like an infant… diffuse tense in troublesome circumstances… support your resistance… encourage imagination… duplicate your profitability… broaden your life… grow your perspective… bond you to others… increment your appeal and mystique… make you feel more joyful… and enable you to live at the time.

With such a great amount to pick up and literally nothing to lose, would you say you are prepared to appreciate these 10 hints so you can laugh a bit, giggle a few, laugh tumultuously, chuckle boisterously, grunt out of the blue and hoot and holler through upbeat tears of satisfaction? Wrap yourself in a funny point of view and giggle your way to a truly sound, glad and energetic life!

Here are 10 simple approaches to get more snickers and exercise your entertaining bone…

1.Get a Funny Buddy. Join yourself with a chuckling accomplice, companion, pal or partner that you generally know you can swing to for a giggle. Make a chuckling understanding and shake on it, at that point encircle yourself with more clever individuals. Attempt to be around these cheerful people each shot you get.

2.Lose your minds. Be super senseless for 10 seconds and let your splendid absurd child out to play.

3.Be a Silly Spectator. Remain back and investigate the amazing, over the top and insane entertainment of people. You will express gratitude toward me whenever you are attempting to avoid sentiments of disappointment and fatigue in line at the DMV, out shopping or in the holding up room of the specialist's office. Take it up a score and carry your excitement home with you and mimic their characteristics, qualities or eccentricities that made you giggle before in the day.

4.Make Over the Ordinary. Relate your ordinary encounters in a fun way and remember them! Individuals snicker at the stuff they can identify with. It's the conventional, ordinary, common things we discover clever. A portion of the best sitcoms and most amusing comics (Seinfeld is an impeccable case) make material out of the regular risks of life. It's their obsession and solid perspective that strikes a passionate string in us and makes us blasted out with giggling. Put it all on the line and liven your stories up with states of mind, feelings, voices and vernaculars. Be unconstrained and given it a chance to fly!

5.Give Your Stories a Pay Off! The best stories have a punchy point, a significant lesson or an extraordinary dramatic conclusion. Begin in light of the end. Give your companions a result for their consideration. When you draw near to the end, stop, take a full breath and give the story a snapshot of quiet. Give them a chance to dangle in expectation before you end with an enormous detonation! Including more vitality, effect and volume will give your story importance, conclusion and give you the prizes of chuckling.

6.Make it Big! Depict something immense. On your regularly scheduled drive to work (obviously while exploring your vehicle with the most extreme in mindful care and alert), depict something humongous. Possibly it's the greatest phone, espresso producer or Fourth of July sparkler ever to be seen at the World's Fair.

7.Demand Door to Door Comedic Entertainment. Lease your most loved great drama flicks or a couple of the new ones you've been significance to get around to. What some may consider the downfall of America, I contend could be the comedic cure. Blockbuster now offers boundless way to entryway conveyance benefit with your most loved DVDs with no troublesome late charges or due dates. No joking! You're in for some genuine top notch livin' when you consider the films, giggles and life amusement that will be sitting tight for you on your doorstep.

8.Fake a Roll or Take a Part. Play Scarlet O'Hara or simply ham it up for the day and stroll through existence with a specific perspective, solid assessment, sharp persona, amusing accent or issue that you should comprehend. Juice it up and host a supper gathering where everybody needs to keep up a character for the night. I have a New York City cowgirl (don't call me a urban clasp bunny) persona in my hip pocket simply enduring to come. "This young lady just ain't certain how she's going to rope herself up a ride on one of them brisk four wheeled, yellow stallions."

9.Let Off Some Silly Steam. Before things get excessively warmed up consider something eccentric, cool, humorous or witty. Have a couple of entertaining episodes arranged in your mind that you can glimmer to before you deviate, squabble or grumble. Indeed, even the smallest grin will ease sick emotions and spread goodwill all through the land. The most awful circumstances still have a silver coating… you are getting some truly awesome comedic material for some other time. Concentrate on the interesting or out and out odd minutes that you'll need to recap with your companions and giggle about later.

10.Hunt Down the Funnies. Viva mais feliz for cleverness wherever you go. Stalk it, seek after it and pursue it down 'til you fall over with giggling. Consider what makes you chuckle, the incongruities of life that entertain you, the humorists you love, the books that make you snicker out loud and which amusing shows you decline to miss. Read, watch or do the majority of the above as frequently as possible.

With grown-ups snickering all things considered 15 times each day and kids giggling around 450… we are very brave work to do. Attempt a tip, get a laugh and go. Track your snickers the fun and loco way.

Exercise your comical inclination so you can trim your body, increment your delight and be an attractive compel that draws in others to you. Let your fun, gregarious side sparkle and give spouting advantages of giggling to everybody around you.

Alert: Laughs have been known to be infectious. So keep an eye out, you may even taint the grumpyArticle Submission, crabby and bearish people throughout your life who dependably appear to have something to grumble about.

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