#i still need to look at a reference when drawing some other GoD characters
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Some Narinder character analysis for yâall.
This is a slightly re-edited excerpt from a much longer post of mine where I was specifically trying to provide a rebuttal to someone else. Iâm kinda proud of some of my takes here and the write up took me hours so Iâm gonna repost it here on its own.
Iâm going into specifically into Narinderâs
Speech patterns and way of expressing emotions.
Implications of his post defeat dialogue
Relationship with Aym and Baal
Feelings on Ratauâs death
And a little extra on why do we âbabygirlâ Narinder
Full analysis under the cut.
The way Narinder expresses his positive feelings
First I gotta establish Narinderâs voice. Narinder seems almost incapable of giving a genuine compliment especially without turning it into something about himself.
Hereâs three examples of him giving a complement to The Lamb. Taken from after defeating Amdusias and Shamura. He also complements The Lamb when you sacrifice Ratau but Iâll come back around to that.
I wanted to grab the entire quotes so it didnât look like I was nitpicking.
"Very good, my vessel. It seems I chose well when I kept you from Death.â
First example, âvery good,â is the complement, but immediately after he takes credit for this by calling you âmy vesselâ thereby claiming ownership over you. His vessel did well. And again âI chose wellâ doubled down and complemented himself.
âI admit, you have worn it (the red crown) almost as well as I could have myself.â
Again we see the complement layered in ego. âAlmost as well as Iâ in other words you did well, but donât forget Iâm better. Also important to draw attention to is âI admitâ this is a very explicit statement of his refusal to acknowledge the success of others.
"Your appetite for death is something I can admire, Vessel. But the Crown is mine, and none - NONE - are worthy. None other than I.â
Here he almost lays down a complement. âYour appetite for death is something I can admireâ straight up, states his admiration. He seems to almost realize what heâs done and quickly pulls back into his ego, âBut the crown is mineâ â-none are worthy- None other than I.â
These are the three of the four ONLY times that Narinder ever says anything explicitly positive about someone else when he is a god. Thus establishing that the head ass cannot give out a compliment to save his life. The one time he gives you full credit for your actions he immediately pulls right back into his ego.
I cannot stress this enough. Someone who is characterized as cold and emotionally closed off as Narinder is WILL NOT suddenly undo this characteristic when they try and express a positive feeling.
Okay with that established we can look at his follower dialogue. Specifically these two examples from when you resurrect a follower and allow him to go on a mission.
âI cannot begrudge supplantation by one such as yourself.â
Literally saying I donât resent you for taking my place. Itâs not an explicit statement that he respects you but this is he weird fucked up little way of saying it. Of course he still lays it out in a way thatâs self centred but we know from the way he has spoken that this is about as much verbal praise he is capable of giving.
The other one is a less explicit statement but I think itâs a interesting reflection of the final place of his character.
ââŠmy thanks, Lamb.â
Being his last bit of unique dialogue, itâs an incredible ending to a character. He thanks you. Thatâs all he needed to say.
Narinderâs reaction to his defeat that he would rather die.
Letâs go over his dialogue in some depth.
"You weak, snivelling, foul thing. You - wait! Waaaiiiiiit!"
Iâm starting with this line as it compels me the most. I find that there are two separate readings of this and I canât really point to one above the other. On my play through I had assumed his wailing was more in reference to being denied death. It could also be read as him not wanting to be reduced to a follower and realizing what your mercy really means for his future.
â-are you to be a vengeful false idol, or a merciful coward? No longer can you blame your vile acts on me."
Okay, looking at the way he presents your two options he seems to push more for the murder action. â-vengeful false idol,â is how he refers to murder. Itâs not exactly a glowing review but his use of the word vengeful is important. We know that one of Narinderâs main goals in the game is revenge, we he already acts with revenge I canât say that heâs using this word as an insult. The false idol part of this statement seems like heâs attempted to separate himself from you, again for is ego.
Then he presents the spare option by calling you a âmerciful coward.â The flow of this full sentence puts more pressure on this option. He presents it as the âorâ the second option. This is the bad option, the option of a coward.
âSo. vou are no different to me after all. You have become as I am."
I know this is a deranged order to go over these quotes but last we got murder. Compared to his spare dialogue this is incredibly sombre. We know from already establishing how big his ego is that saying you are the same as him is almost a compliment. I do find this dialogue incredibly interesting tho, I canât exactly explain why but I canât help but read this as damning as well. Itâs like he means it in both ways, the ultimate fuck you. You are just as I am, for better and worse.
But from what we know about Narinder his edgy ass cannot express emotion. He wraps his statements in layers of irony and selfishness. Unless it supports the persona he puts on or inflates his ego he WILL NOT right out state his feelings or needs, especially when he was a chained god.
Relationship with Aym and Baal
Aym and Baal are incredibly hard to characterize. They donât have much dialogue to work off of and only three characters every speak on them, Shamura, Narinder and Forneus. The context of the game does present them as more Narinderâs first (and second) hand, less followers more apprentices, almost, but whereâs the fun in assuming.
"Intended as keepers, perhaps, but they were young and in need of guidance. Must I be blamed for my influence?"
I wanna draw attention to the specific wording of keepers. Again, based on the way Narinder speaks its safe to assume he means the formal meaning of a keeper, meaning a caretaker. It is unclear if Narinder was told they where his keepers or if he assumed so, but either way he still speaks on them as such.
For the sake of argument (and I donât wanna rewrite this bit entirely) Iâm gonna put the idea that Narinder brainwashed Aym and Baal against my presented idea of them being his keepers or apprentices.
The proposed idea of the brainwashing angle can be developed based on Narinder saying that âthey where young and in need of guidance, must I be blamed for my influence.â This implies that, as much as Aym and Baal may have been sent as keepers, they where still young and Narinder could not help but be an influence on them. I am gonna come back around to this thread so hold onto this for a moment. Moving on.
âTwo kits I did have, true love found! And yet one lackadaisy summer day, my beautiful children were taken away... a gift, they said, for the one they loved most, the one that waits...â
âOoh, kits... I remember, I remember... two kits in my claws... a gift.."
It is unclear and morally dubious how Aym and Baal came to Narinder. First weâre not 100% where Narinder is chained. The wiki lists it as the afterlife and in dialogue Narinder refers to it as âat the gates between this life and the next, trapped at the nexus of what was and what wasn't.â (When he asks you to send him on a mission.) We can travel there both by dying and being summoned there by him.
Either way the assumption is that Aym and Baal had to die. (As an aside I have my own speculation on the conditions required for a person to be presented to Narinder or to be resurrected but thatâs off topic.) The horrific implications being that either Shamura themself killed the kits or that they where already dying. However you cannot blame the reaper for ushering the dead away from life.
Iâm going to work off of the cult specific definition and characteristics of brainwashing. Itâs hard to characterize where Aym and Baal sit here as, again they have little dialogue and due to the nature of brainwashing itâs hard to spot. First I wanna grab my brainwashing resources.
Iâm using Encyclopedia Britannicaâs page on brainwashing, cults, indoctrination, manipulation as my primary resourse.
Again I kinda wanna apply a layer of irony to how literally I apply real life tragedy to this game that obviously uses cults in a comedic manner. I wanna focus in on the characteristics displayed by victims of brainwashing and the techniques used in brainwashing by an abuser.
Looking at the elements used in brainwashing the only one I can say off the bat that is present is isolation, obviously. But with that letâs grab all of Aym and Baalâs dialogue.
What is clear from their dialogue is their obedience to Narinder. They call him master while his keepers and still when you meet them later when adventuring. And physically we do see them by Narinderâs side the entire main game and they fight the Lamb first. But if we add some nuance and look at their role as keepers or my own theory of being apprentices both actions of obedience make sense still for those roles. On the same note they also donât display traits you would expect for someone fully under Narinderâs control. They speak to the Lamb out of turn and attack without prompting from Narinder.
Other characteristics are hard to imply. With torture I do want to pass it off an unlikely as based on the way Narinder tries to manipulate the Lamb itâs only verbal and he cannot attack while chained and I donât see that changing with the keepers. Traits like sleep, water and food deprivation canât be applied for various reasons (mostly the being dead one) and we donât know anything about Narinder and the keeperâs interactions in the past so Iâll have to disregard other traits like suggestion.
Baal: "It's you. Usurper of the Red Crown. The one who freed us."
Aym: "Ha! You are nothing compared to our Master. We have not been in this world long, but already I can tell you are weak. You lack discipline. Our Master wielded Death with precision and control. You allow chaos to reign."
Baal: "What my brother means to say is thank you."
Moving onto groupthink I can pretty comfortably say that this is not a present characteristic of Aym and Baal. In their limited dialogue we can easily characterize Aym as more outwardly defensive of Narinder but Baal is more reserved and even contradicts Aym and is able to speak freely of Narinder.
Looping back around to the way Narinder speaks on his influence on Aym and Baal. Again we know how Narinder speaks, he cannot give honest compliments and dodges affection like itâs a professional sport. With the way he will outright tell the Lamb to manipulate followers and then uses the words âguidanceâ and âinfluenceâ about Aym and Baal, he has to be avoiding admitting affection to the keepers. He does follow that up with âDo what you wish, scornful God. I care not for them.â But again does Forneus not also allow her kits to do as they wish?
My own reading of Narinderâs relation to Aym and Baal is that of mentorship but it could also be read as parental. But saying brainwashed is a big stretch.
His feelings on the death of Ratau
This is like another example of like, yeah, wow, an evil character does evil? Who couldâve possibly foreseen this? Sarcasm aside I do see his comments on this being a lesser evil.
First I do have to ask why, if Narinder held strong sense of unrest against his former vessel, did he not have him struck down? The main reason I can see is that Ratau is still devoted to the red crown, most clearly seen by the statue at the lonely shack which generates devotion.
Second, Ratauâs death isnât on his hands, itâs on yours. I find his pride here is from The Lambâs actions not the death of Ratau. You killed your mentor, he describes your actions as âtreacherous opportunismâ and says âA great Vessel takes their master's will as their own.â Based on his later dialogue this is likely more foreshadowing the Lamb becoming as Narinder is. Narinder tried to kill his siblings, and you did kill your mentor. âYou have become as I am."
Iâm gonna tangent quickly cause thereâs a line here that is incredibly interesting.
"He renounced his position after striking a bargain that resulted in the sacrifice of a Follower. He was weak."
Incredibly interesting the way he condemns Ratauâs sacrifice of a follower. Narinder directly contradicts himself. It is implied that the follower was lost to another being that did not benefit Narinder, but the Lamb also sacrifices followers to the Fox and Midas. Just something to chew on.
Why do we âbabygirlâ Narinder and other evil characters?
This is kinda the last bit Iâm gonna get into before I cap this off. It is incredibly funny for me to say âI babygirl Narinderâ only to get a reply thatâs like âI donât think you babygirl him on purpose.â But I wanna talk about why this happens and why it happened to specifically Narinder.
When people complain about the fandom interpretation of Narinder I think they forget the tone of cult of the lamb. The closest thing I could think to call it would be a dark comedy kinda energy.
The game has very dark themes going on. Mentions of real horrible things like genocide, cults and religious abuse. But also just like look at the game, itâs visual style is so cute and non threatening, the bird characters have two mouths to commit to the bit. If you look at the way it depicts cults itâs very surface level, itâs more focused on being a satire on the common satanic media kinda look of a cult. Visually it bathes in its aesthetics, taking names from books like The Lessee Key of Solomon, uses villainous depictions of symbols like the pentagram or old Hebrew script, disregarding its nuanced origins.
And then they go onto do the funniest thing ever. The other bishopâs? Gross little freaks, based on commonly disliked animals, worm, frog, squid and spider. And then- and then they make the god of death, who they characterize and manipulative and evil, they make him a catboy. You cannot tell me they did not know what they where doing.
Why have I shot Narinder with the babygirl beam? CAUSE THE GAME DID IT FIRST!
Iâm gonna call the god of death my little meow meow and point out his status as a Tumblr sexy man cause heâs a little guy and I wanna give him head scritches. But Iâm also gonna call him a layered, fucked up and an incredibly interesting character in the same breath.
#my post#cotl#cult of the lamb#cotl narinder#cult of the lamb narinder#cotl the one who waits#cult of the lamb the one who waits#character analysis#Malachi Why?
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Never Shall We Die (3; final)
«« Nothing is too outlandish when itâs a life of liberty on the line. »»Â
PAIRING: kwon soonyoung x reader
PLAYLIST: right here!
pirate lingo glossary (pls refer!)
SYNOPSIS: Deadliest pirate on the high seas or a damn fool? The stupid King and his men have snatched Hoshi's precious pirate ship with their too clean, too soft hands; grounds to question his own vices. Except, when he and his crew land in the quarters of a navy ship, revenge on their roster, they stumble across a princess in its gallows. Hoshi wonders if he's just struck gold, or if you'd become the final tread to his downfall.
GENRES: pirate!au, enemies to lovers, slowburn, angst, fluff, smut [minor dni], some pirates of the carribean vibes but ? idk
WORD COUNT [full fic]: 48.1k
Part 1: 17.07k | Part 2: 15.2k | Part 3 [final] : 15.8k
@highvern's out of context comment box: new fear unlocked: hoshi with explosives, victorian ankle moment, HATE HIM (need him carnally), hoshi covered in soapy water would distract me enough, strip for me pirate mingyu [hes litrally taking off his jacket], your honor hes a bitch, freaks!, mingyu crushes hoshi's head like a grape, WONWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, massive dick, the way i literally gasped like an old scandalized woman
masterlist
WARNINGS: slowburn, plot heavy, happy ending bc no angsty endings in this household, being taken hostage, knives, bombs, and guns, mentions of blood, mentions of SA (does not happen and it is not explicitly mentioned), alcohol, mentions of death (patricide), hoshi is âšselectively moralâšbut kind of moral nonetheless, side character death, [pls lmk if im missing something its alot] smut tags: hoshi loves thighs, corruption kink to the mAX, clit stimulation, oral (f. receiving), breast play, p in v sex (unprotected, 1800s contraception will make you prefer it but pls dont do this irl), making out
[AN]: final part oh my god if youve read the other parts up till now, THANK YOU SO MUCH I LOVE YOU i hope you guys enjoyed reading this as much as i loved writing it, im really proud of this fic and im so happy so many of you have enjoyed it so far. @highvern betaing as always ty for not giving up on me. AS ALWAYS, PLS TELL ME YOUR THOTS IN THE RBS OR THE REPLIES OR SEND ME AN ASK LITERALLY WTV MUAH MUAH HAPPY READING <3
THIS IS THE NICEST PRISON Hoshi has ever been in, which was saying something, because he had been in quite a lot of prisons.Â
But it was uncomfortable nonetheless, six grown men tied up and shoved into a crouching space to be done with as the men that prowled above pleased.Â
Hoshi would be lying if he said he hadnât had to restrain from pushing some of those sorry soldiers into the ice waters beyond the glaciers. He had resisted, the crew had resisted, but just enough to convince them of their unwillingness.Â
Hoshi had realised early on that there was no possible way of getting aboard Tigress without somehow climbing aboard the Kingâs boat first. The king wasnât about to simply hand Hoshiâs ship over, and there was no indication that they'd wait till after nightfall to depart.Â
Hoshi also knew that the King would refuse to have him die so easily in the waters of the Green Islands, his pride depended on it. He imagines the man drawing up the specifics of the most gruesome execution the Kingdom would ever see. Hoshi was counting on it.Â
The bounds couldâve been broken out of and the locks somehow picked, but Hoshi also knew that he had to wait. Wait for you to find him first.Â
âWhatâs taking her so long?â Jun asks. Heâd been the most anxious out of all, the shaking feet and restless moving making it clear.Â
âThe bomb wonâtâŠgo off still strapped to her, will it?â Minghao asks and Hoshi isnât quite sure he wants to know the answer.Â
âIt shouldnât. Not until she pulls the tab. ButâŠâ
âBut?â Hoshi whips around. âWhy is there a but? You were supposed to make sure there was no but!â
âBig bomb, more boom, less predictable!âÂ
âAre you sure we canât break out and look for her ourselves?â Mingyu grumbles, the most compromised with his longer limbs folded in uncomfortable positions.
âThe minute they know weâre loose theyâll swarm her. There wonât be a way to get to her, not without fighting off every last bastard on this ship. Theyâve taken our stuff too, we donât stand a chance.â
They did, actually, stand a chance. But that was only if they were to break away and head straight for Tigress that was empty and standing right beside this very ship. But they couldnât. Hoshi couldnât. Not without taking you with him.Â
Nobody dares to suggest the easier route, and he doubts itâs just because of what he wants.Â
But panic was beginning to trickle into Hoshiâs veins anyway, the closed off brig refusing to give him any indication of the time of day.Â
The sun was only beginning to set when they were taken to the ship, and he knew they were near done for if they didnât finish what they started before nightfall. He canât tell how long itâs been, and it eats away at his insides.Â
Please be okay.Â
And then he hears it, the sound of a body hitting the floors with a loud thud, a chortle of air before itâs knocked out. He finds himself sitting up straighter, pressing his hands to bars of the prison, trying to peer out the narrow walkway that leads to the doors.Â
And then you appear in the lamplight, haphazard and ruffled up beyond measure.Â
The knife in your hand drips with blood, your shirt torn at the arms, your hands bloodied and bruised.Â
When Hoshi sees your face he almost doesnât recognise you.Â
Thereâs angry blooming marks of red and purple all across your neck and collarbone, your eyes bloodshot and red, watering like youâd been swimming in salt water.Â
âWho did this?â he asks before anything else, watching you drop to your knees in front of the prison, unanswering as you fumbled with a giant ring of keys in your hand.Â
You jam each key into the lock, twisting it to no avail. Your hands are shaking.Â
The crew finally twist out of their loose bonds, Minghao lurching forward immediately, swatting your hands away. He picks out a few skinny pins from his boot, picking the rusty lock. Despite the strange angle, the bars creak open within seconds.Â
âThereâsâŠThereâs ropes hooked onto the ship on the main deck.âÂ
Your voice sounds like youâre speaking through sandpaper, talking while struggling to emerge with the bomb you had.Â
Hoshi doesnât know what to do when he crawls out of the space.Â
Heâd had it all figured out in his head, what would happen in every possible outcome. You getting hurt wasnât in any of his universal conclusions; especially not on this ship. Theyâd kill his crew, they might even kill the King with themselves, but you were meant to remain unscathed.Â
âWhyâwhy do you look like that? What happened?â Nothing registers in his head, not even when Jun is pushing him out into the hall.Â
âGet up to the deck and get out across the lines!â Jun gruffs in his ears. âThat bombâs gonna go off with us still on here.â
He sees the canister that lies in the same prison they had just exited, he sees your mouth moving without sound. All he can think of are the distinct fingerprints around your throat and how it looked like somebody tried to kill you before they tried to kill him.Â
âSoonyoung,â he hears you say in a broken voice and thatâs all it takes for him to snap out of it.Â
His crew is looking at him expectantly. He looks back at the door and sees the crumpled bodies of the prison guards.Â
So much for leaving quietly.Â
The minute Hoshi is out the door of the brig, he finds a chest next to the collapsed, bleeding soldiers. Kicking it open, he can only scoff as he finds the entire crewâs weapons in such close vicinity.Â
He feels better with his dagger at his hip, along with the rest of his knives that he slips into the loops. Even more so with the rest of his crew armed and ready.Â
âWe know where the deck is.â He swallows, eyeing his crewâs weapons in their ready hands. He knew theyâd agreed to ensure the clean sinking of the ship, but the fallen bodies on the floor were an ode to a different route theyâd have to take. âDonât hesitate if someone gets in your way.â
Taking cautious steps to the upper decks, he finds more bodies collapsed onto the floor, bleeding and unconscious. He opts to ask you the details later, wondering how you were able to take down all these guards by yourself.Â
It isnât until they reach the stairs that lead to the main deck that he comes across a guard.Â
Before the witness can raise any alarm, Hoshiâs slamming the butt of his dagger into the side of his head, knocking him clean unconscious as he falls off the side of the short railing.Â
Clambering up the steps as quietly as possible, he raises a hand behind him to signal his crew to halt, peering into the main deck first.Â
The sun is still out, but low in the sky as it dips in the sky. Thereâs a few people on the deck, pacing and moving about in preparation for departure. Angling his gaze, he finds ropes suspended over the edge of the railing, parallel to the water.Â
He canât see Tigress, but he knows thatâs what the ropes are hooked on to.Â
âJun,â he beckons. âHow long till the bomb on the other ship goes off?â
The bomb Jun had planted in the first ship they had arrived in should be going off any time now, and Hoshi finds himself needing it to go off now.Â
Jun barely opened his mouth to reply when the ship shuddered.Â
For a moment, Hoshi thinks the bomb in the brigs had gone off, but when he finds the clambering of boots to one side of the ship, opposite to where the ropes tied to Tigress, he realises their surrogate ship had given its last gift to the crew.Â
The rest of the ship would be bounding to the main deck to inspect the noise soon, so he shoots a quick, âHurry!â behind him before stepping onto the main deck.Â
The entire deck is occupied with the ship that lies a ways away across the expanse of sea, the beginnings that would soon lead the entire ship to be engulfed in flames. Itâs tilting at a dangerous angle.Â
Hoshi stands as he uses the crew straight towards the ropes that lead to Tigress. Glancing, he finds Mingyu and Chan already hanging on the suspended ropes, making their way towards the empty deck of their ship.Â
Hoshi keeps his eyes on the occupied men on board, still staring at the lightshow that was their old ship. It isnât until one of them turns, eyes towards the stairs that lead to the lower decks, that his eyes dart to the unfamiliar men on the deck.Â
âFuck,â Hoshi curses, before lunging, grabbing the man by the shoulders and covering his mouth, dragging him wordlessly to the edge before throwing him off the ship and into the icy waters below.Â
âGo!â he hears you rasp brom behind him, ushering him to the ropes.Â
The crew is gone, Jun making the last jump to land on the deck. Theyâre running around, pulling ropes and fastening the sails to push the ship off into open waters as soon as possible.Â
Thereâs two ropes that tie the two ships together, and Hoshi ushers you onto one of them, pushing you to suspend yourself before he follows.Â
âThereâs not enough time, go to the other one!â you tell him, pushing him to hold onto the other tattered rope.Â
Soonyoung eyes your state, âAre you sure you canââ
âYes! I promise I can, please, before they cut both the ropes.â
So he trusts you, eyes straight ahead to the railing of his ship, gripping the rough, frayed rope to push himself towards the deck. His hands burn, but he finds himself moving ever closer to his final destination.Â
His hand grabs hold of the wooden railing of his Tigress at long last, pulling himself onto the deck of his beloved ship. Immediately whipping his head to his right, he tries to find you reaching the ship with him. The crew is preoccupied in attempting to get the ship ready for departure, he finds your form nowhere.Â
When he looks back, the rope he had climbed was gone, leaving gaping space in its absence. He trails the second rope, from the hook that had dug into the railing of Tigressâs wood, trailing it to the naval shipâs deck.Â
What he sees puts his heart in his throat.Â
You stand on the deck of your fatherâs ship, swarmed by now alert guards and soldiers who swarm you, yelling profanities and orders as they watch their prisoners get away right in front of them.Â
Hoshi watches as you lift your dagger, and cut the last rope that ties you together, free to fall and hit against the hull of his ship.
He calls out your name in what could only be described as a guttural scream.Â
His crew halts whatever it was they were doing, taking the steps to realise what had just happened.Â
Hoshiâs boot meets the top of the railing, ready to take the plunge into the water. Heâd climb back up the ship and get you out. He doesnât know what you were thinking, what he was thinking when he left you there, but heâd get you out.Â
Arms pulling him, heâs yanked back and positively thrown onto the deck.
âWhat is wrong with you?â Minghao yells, pushing his captain back as he springs up.Â
âSheââ
Your father emerges from the crowd of guards and soldiers that run rampant on the deck, approaching you at the railing of the main deck.Â
Hoshi sees the hand that remains on his shoulder, the blood that covers the still bleeding wound, the effort it takes him to simply walk.Â
The bruises on your neck, the wound at his shoulder that looks like it was slashed through by a knife.Â
And then it clicks in Hoshiâs head, what had truly happened in the hours that you were out of his sight. And all he sees is red.
WITH THE WAY THE words on the pages seem to double, you wouldâve thought you were going mad.Â
Youâre a child, barely grown into your own body as you sit in the dimly lit library of the palace, utterly exhausted, wishing to be anywhere but sitting at the wooden desk with your name on it. The moon barely shone through the window, your only source of light the fireplace that burned in the corner and your lamplight.Â
It was a time where you felt like you could prove yourself, that perhaps, the reason your father refused you his approval was because you were simply not working hard enough. And now, at an hour where you should be fast asleep in your four poster bed, you attempt to understand diplomatic structures and everything that made your country what it was.Â
It was late, and there was nothing you wouldâve liked more than to put your head on the table and rest your eyes for a few tantalising seconds, which you do, right over the book you were reading.Â
You awoke in the same place, shaken awake by a panicked looking servant, the sun shining through the great windows of the palace library.
It seems your disappearance from your bedchambers had put the entire palace in disarray, not realising the princess was fast asleep behind the giant pile of books other servants had already skimmed past thrice.Â
Not only were you unable to recite the rankings of the constitutions with the vigour your father required, but you were unable to give him a reason as to why you were absent for both breakfast and morning lessons.Â
He made the servants kneel in the throne room for hours, and did not fail to tell you that it was all your fault.
And now, in the ice cold of the Green Islands, old and wise enough to know that your father simply needed a reason to despise his heir, you accept the hands around your throat as his final act of terror.Â
Red faced and arms shaking, your father does not speak to you as he presses down on your windpipe with all his might. Your vision is going dark and splotchy, and you decide, for a moment, to let him have this moment.Â
Heâs too preoccupied in applying his pressure to realise that youâve raised your right foot enough for your hands to fish out your knife from its place, taking positivity in the handle of your knife that fits in your hand.Â
Before you can lose consciousness, you raise your arm high, and plunge it directly into his neck.Â
Howling, he releases you from his hold, both of you dropping to the floor of the ship with a resonating thud. You cough, sputter and hack, cold hands finding your now warm neck.Â
Your father lays clutching his shoulder as he remains in agony on the floor, and you realise you missed the crucial plunge in your own disarray.Â
It was good enough, rendering the old man incapable of finding his bearings.Â
You watch as he writhes on the floor of the quarters that almost became your figurative deathbed, the same hands that wrapped around his own daughterâs throat now clutching the shallow wound that renders him useless.Â
Standing over him, throwing your own shadow on his body, you feel a surge of power, a rush of adrenaline that shoots straight to your head. Perhaps this was your circulation returning from the deprivation, but you let the feeling imprint in your soul, let your fatherâs broken figure bring you satisfaction.
You leave him there, writhing in pain, digging your knife under the lock of the quarters, pulling back to break it away from the door. The guards stationed outside do nothing as you leave, and it isnât until youâve taken to lower decks that you hear the distinct yell of, âYour Majesty!â
Two more guards, who donât expect an altercation from their princess, simply buffer as you send your knife plunging into them both. You do it deep this time.Â
Nobody was innocent, you knew these people as your fatherâs closest men, and knew that all of them were to remain silent as their King murdered his daughter. And when the remorse doesnât do that thing where it trickles in after doing a bad thing, you decide you werenât part of the innocents either.
Itâs easier than you wouldâve expected to get to the crew in the brig, letting out a sigh of relief as you appreciate the familiarity of people on your side.Â
And when Hoshi took his place to guide everyone out and into the open space of the main deck, you let your racing mind rest and decide to trust the man in whatever decision he made to lead you all out. And he did, he led himself and his crew right into the ship that was theirs, safe and where they would have the upper hand.Â
Hoshi didnât know it when he climbed onto the ropes that lead to his boat that he wouldnât have made it if you hadnât stayed, hadnât used your voice of authority to keep the soldiers from attempting to shoot at the escapees, cut the rope while Hoshi remained suspended from it, still only halfway there.Â
You didnât look at him when you sliced both ropes before either party could pull back, didnât register him screaming your name across the void, pretending it wasnât taking everything out of your strength.
But you couldnât jump into the water, not now when a dozen of the royal guards remained ready to take the plunge to save their princess as their duty. The same guards that would comply with their king when told the princess was dead for reasons they all knew but were to forget.Â
The bomb had to go off first, and you had to keep them away from hooking another line to the ship in the meantime. You were operating on a flawed plan and an overenthusiastic crowd of guards that were moments away from shooting a canon straight into the side of the disconnected pirate ship. Â
The distraction comes in the form of your father parting the crowd of soldiers like the red sea, swatting every soldier that attempts to help his bleeding form for anything it was worth. He approaches you at the railing, and for once, you donât look at the ground in his presence.Â
âBold,â he heaves, the effort in his voice apparent. âBold of you to think you could slip away.â
âI havenât tried to slip away, father,â you correct. âIâve stayed right here, even after you failed to kill me. And I, you.âÂ
âNobody is going to listen to you, child. Give in. This is the easy way out,â he says.Â
As if on cue, Junâs bomb goes off for the second time, but this time the ship shudders with more force. It has your father unbalance and fall, along with multiple other soldierâs stumbling. You grip the railing tight, counting on your fatherâs need to live.Â
Despite your horrid throat and the ache in your body, you announce as loud as you can. âThe bomb is in the brig, this ship is sinking.â
The fallen king trembles in a rage you had never quite seen before. Any other time of your life, you wouldâve wished for the ground to swallow you whole to be the subject of such anger.Â
Except, in the setting sun, a burning ship in the background, a pirate ship that awaits you, and the ground beneath your feet that was actively sinking into the freezing water; you smile at your doomed King.Â
âGet to the brig! Secure the lower decks, do not let this ship sink or so help me God!â His voice rings across the deck, spittle blowing from his mouth at the situation.Â
And just like that, your father gives you the final gift of clearing the main deck out for you, leaving but a few straggling soldiers that are too preoccupied with either the sinking ship or their bleeding sovereign.Â
Looking back, you find the crew of Tigress standing at the railing, you find Hoshi already half over the edge and send him a slow nod.Â
Turning back to your father that remains on the floor of the ship that would become his coffin, you utter your next words; for yourself, and the girl that was every second before this, all the way to her first ever memory of sad:
âYouâve taught me to be a ruler fit to be the best for our Kingdom. Consider your death my first act of service for the Crown.â
And then you jumped into the darkening void of the waters below.Â
THE COLD FEELS LIKE every nerve in your body ceased to work.Â
It was nothing at first, the temperature so intense it had your body numb in the face of shock. And then it grew, to a striking cold, and then a feeling that pricked every inch of your skin like a million needles plunging into your body. It was only getting worse with each passing second, before it was so painful it was hot, going from cold to searing and blistering like youâd plunged into the licks of flames.Â
Nowhere in your body did you find a rational sense of mind, something to tell you to kick, flail or float. The warped sky was an orange through the green, only more vibrant. Like there were two ships actively burning on the surface of this water.Â
Hoshiâs face appears behind your closing eyelids, like a mirage or a taunt. Like he was there with you when he wasnât.Â
Would he come for you? Would he take the plunge for the girl he held in his arms, promising her something to fill the gap of a companion, right before she killed her own?Â
Youâd given him what he wanted; your father, his worst enemy, dying as he sank slowly into the bottom of the ocean. Youâd run your course of use, and if he was as smart as people claimed, heâd leave you to suffer the same fate as your father.Â
He could find his freedom elsewhere.Â
And you would find your freedom in the close of your eyes, and the sinking feeling of nothingness.Â
Except, you feel a hardness against your body, stronger even than the current of the waters. Moving impossibly upwards, you remember opening your eyes to find a leather cord suspended in the float of the water, before you remember nothing.Â
THE GREEN ISLANDS WERE on fire. Â
But as unnatural as it seemed, Hoshi had no inclination to register anything but the way the ship in front of him tilts so far out it's already half submerged in the waters. Heâd assumed they might have to ready the cannons, but with the way debris and hollowed wood floats in the waters below, they would not need to.Â
The King was about to be introduced to Davy Jonesâ Locker at the hands of his enemy and successor, but Hoshi could not care enough right now to relish in it.Â
Right now, he stares at the direct circumference of water your body had made contact with and disappeared into, like the world would explode if he lost his place.Â
âShould I jump as well?â Mingyu asks, already half taking his boots off. However, when the man turns to find his captain gone, he lurches over the railing to find his captain diving into the water through all the debris.
Hoshi lets the momentum of his dive take him as further down as possible, whipping his head around as soon as his eyes open into the abyss. The water ripples and erupts in showers of bubbles as broken pieces of ship come apart to fall into the water. It blurs his vision immensely, any ripple that could be you in the water coming out to be yet another piece of wasted wood.Â
The deeper he goes, the more the water presses into his ears. He was a good swimmer, good at holding his breath when needed, but even he had limits.Â
When he cannot see any sign of you, he begins to feel the churning of something skin to panic brew. Panic was never good, not this deep in the water.Â
Twisting and turning, flailing about in place, moving dangerously closer to the burning ship that continued to drop flaming bits of killing slabs, he finds no sign of you in the water.Â
Instead, he watches men in uniform sink deeper and deeper in their failed attempts to stay afloat.Â
All he can think about is if they were losing the battle for air, then so were you, somewhere deeper in the void than he was. He prays that heâs looking aimlessly, that youâve already somehow made your way to the surface by yourself, and you were safe on the deck.Â
The beaded bracelet that remained on his wrist, but belonged to you.Â
âA reason for you to come out of this alive.â
Even without the encasing on his wrist, you had given him more than enough reason to want to come out of this alive, to want to live beyond just for himself and his duty to the crew heâd taken in.Â
He chose the life of a pirate because it was his only out, and every member of his crew that he recruited in succession, he acted as the hand he had needed so desperately in that awful brothel where his mother despised him and his father, a faceless man of Port Ash.Â
Amphitrite was not kind, it was a lesson he learned quickly in his first ventures out at sea. So he too, had to learn to be unkind, to survive in the horrid bellies of ships that werenât his own. And when Tigress came into his life like a vessel of hope, he found a home in her merciful wood, in the ship that he could call his very own.Â
Hoshi lived as a free man on his ship, with his crew that had become his brothers in ways beyond what the thick of blood could offer. He did not care if he lived or died after that, as long as it was on his ship, in the waters that held no quarter for anyone, but gave him everything that nothing else could give him.Â
And so when you approached him with a proposal so bizarre yet so apt for a man like him, he could not refuse. It may have been the way he saw himself in you, terrified of the prospects but thirsting for an escape more than the fear that came with it.Â
Besides, the king was a nuisance that needed to go, and he found himself agreeing to play the hand too complicated for you.Â
What he did not expect was to end up here, in the depths of the ocean in the most uninhabitable part of the earth, trying to pull you out of the cold, unrelenting sea.Â
Hoshi realises in that moment that this might ruin him, the possibility of breaking the surface without you.Â
He decides that if the heavens do not let him find you, he would simply drown in the same waters that gave him purpose, and find peace with the idea that he would lay rest in the same waters as the person who might have given him something more.Â
Kwon Soonyoung, the deadliest pirate to cleave the seas, was in love with you. A princess, so undeserving of a man like him; a bastard, a rogue, a good for nothing criminal.Â
And when he spots the all too familiar build of your form, the linen shirt under the corset he had tied for you just hours ago, the dark brown trousers that signified the change heâd brought into your life, he swore to leave everything heâd ever known to thank the skies and seas for bringing him to you.
His burning lungs, screaming and searing for air, grabbing for your suspended arm that looked as defeated as your closed eyes. Tugging you towards him, he wraps his arm around you to press you to him as tight as he could.Â
Relief. And with the warm sting in his eyes that he doubted was from the salt in the water, heâs sure of everything heâs felt with the feeling of you in his arms.Â
With the bruising on your neck, the bleeding wound in your fatherâs shoulder, he finds it within his breaking body to begin kicking upwards.Â
Every limb, every cell, every hint of life in his body shrieked with its efforts to make him stop. There was no air in his lungs and heâd lost track of time in his search for you, he doesnât know how long he has.Â
But if the blots of nothingness in his eyes were anything to go with, he doesnât presume he has much. In a last ditch effort, he attempts to kick his boots off to weigh him down a little less, holding your dead weight tighter than anything.Â
He was so close, he could feel the warmth of the upper levels of the water change in its temperature on his skin. The glow was near blinding as the orange refracted on the disrupted surface of the ocean, so close yet so far.Â
Inch by inch, kick by kick, memory by memory, he does everything left in his drained power to touch the surface.Â
And he does, breaking out hand first into the burning air of the world above, taking the longest gasp of air he ever has in his life. Once heâs sure he knows where he is, he pushes you up further on his chest, your head resting against his collarbone, still unconscious.Â
âStay with me, princess,â he pants into your ear, hoping you could hear. âIâve got you.â
Chan and Mingyu are in the water beside him, pushing him towards the pulley that awaited them.Â
Mingyu makes an attempt to take your weight of his already struggling captain, but Hoshi finds himself holding on to you tighter, simply urging him to help him back on the deck.Â
The minute your head hits the wood of the deck, heâs checking your pulse. Thereâs no regard for the chaos that ensues around Tigress, both him and his crew too preoccupied with the way you were not breathing.Â
âIâI canât feel anything,â he stutters his words as Seungkwan places a less panicked hand at your neck, under your nose.Â
âItâs weak, sheâs taken in too much water.â
In an instant, he reaches for his knife at his hip, only to realise it was gone, lost somewhere in his rescue.Â
âKnife,â he rasps before repeating louder. âSomeone give me a knife!âÂ
The minute a hilt is in his hands, heâs pushing you over, to reach the back of your constricting corset, pushing his knife into the complicated sailing knot heâd tied it into before, breaking it free. With both hands, he takes hold of the top of the corset and rips it clean in half.Â
Turning you back over, he presses his hands over your clothed stomach, pushing into it with all his strength in an attempt to get the water out of your system. He keeps his eyes on your face, and when he sees no sign of you coming round, he feels another set of hands pushing him off.Â
Seungkwan takes over for his weakened captain, pushing into your stomach harder, attempting to get a break out of you.Â
âWhy isnât she coming around, whatâs going on?â He throws the question aimlessly as he takes your unmoving face in his hands, trembling from everything.Â
Only a moment later, he hears the glorious sound of you sputtering like something was stuck in your throat, promptly spilling out an ungodly amount of water onto the deck as you retch loudly.Â
Sitting up from the force, your hands clamp onto the deck as you cough and heave, Hoshiâs hand coming behind you to thump your back hard, pushing you to throw up any remaining seawater from your body.Â
The sight of your back moving up and down, the audible sound of you taking in air; it was enough for Hoshi to simply lay on the deck and pass out.Â
You rear your head and look up at him, both of you still breathing heavily.Â
âYouâre okay,â he assures, gulping. He takes your face in hands cupping it very gently as he speaks to you. âGo with Seungkwan, youâre okay, youâre safe.â
Nodding, you let yourself be helped up by the rest of the crew, watching as youâre led to the lower decks of the ship.Â
âOpen your shirt, let me see the wound,â Mingyu says, and Hoshi doesnât know what heâs talking about. Looking down, he sees his shirt soaked in red, sticking to a wound on the right side of his torso. He didnât even know where he got it.Â
It looks like a shallow gash, but enough to leave a scar. He takes it better to have it tended to while he was still high on adrenaline and he couldnât feel much of the pain.Â
By the time Mingyu and Minghao are done cleaning him up and Hoshiâs standing upright with wobbly legs, he finds the two burning ships beyond his own mere floating structures of wood that were in slow flame. Thereâs too much debris, too many bits of everything that bob in the large expanse of water to make out any bodies.Â
âThereâs nobody,â Mingyu tells him. âMost of them were in lower decks when it all went down. Trapped themselves.â
âAndâŠ?â he asks in silence.Â
âHe stayed on the deck until it sank,â Minghao informs. âYelling about how heâŠabout how he shouldâve finished her when he had the chance.â
âHorrible king and somehow an even worse father,â Mingyu scoffs. âMade it better to watch him die.â
âHe didnât suffer enough,â Hoshi croaks as the marks on your throat dot his vision.Â
Just then, floating in the water, illuminated by the final streaks of setting light, Hoshi sees it. A darkened purple cloth right next to the hull.
âThat,â he points out. âGet that out of the water.â
The late kingâs purple cape laid on the deck of Tigress, darkened with water, but also with his blood.
To the Kingdom, this cape would be the last piece of their King that was gone too soon. But for every person on this ship, it would forever be their spoils of war.
Hoshi makes sure the cape will be dried and stored, ordering his crew to begin their slow journey out of the Green Islands, before he too crumples onto the deck unconscious.Â
IT WAS A SPECTACLE to see Hoshi in his element.Â
Something about how he seemed to beam, like this ship was charging him a different kind of energy. It was infectious, the rest of the ship decreasingly sour as they put on musical performances on the main deck while they cleaned the floors.Â
As relieved as you felt, the tight ball of anxiety refused to leave the pit of your stomach as you grew closer to the Kingdom. Nothing could prepare you for the shitstorm youâd have to deal with the moment youâd step onto the soil off a pirate ship of all thingsâlet alone as Queen.Â
The first few days following the ship's exit from the Green Islands were difficult, if that was all you had to describe it. You took to your hammock for most of the day, curled up as you pretended to sleep, only waking up when one of the crew would come down to force feed you and to make sure you hadnât died.Â
You knew they were doing all this to make you feel better, and somehow it was working. More than halfway through your journey, you began to feel more like yourself, emerging from your cave to visit the deck on times other than the nights.Â
Even now, as you sit on the floor of the deck with Seungkwan, who hands you an all too familiar stack of parchment, you feel nothing as you take them into your hands. As you read his handwriting scrawled in ink, you appreciate your past self for having the sense to keep them all.Â
âIâm glad youâre feeling better now,â he says to you. âHad us worried for a while there.â
âSorry.â You smile weakly. âBut thank you forâŠeverything. I donât think I could ever express how much I appreciate everything youâve done for me. All of you.â
âIâd like to think weâve gone past the status of mere business partners,â Seungkwan chuckles. âLion befriends the bear? Whatever it is. But know weâd do it again.â
Blinking back the sting of tears and doing your very best to not let the warm feeling in your chest overwhelm you, you place the letters on the floor next to your folded legs. When you look up, Seungkwan's eyes are on your neck.
âTheyâre taking their time to fade, arenât they?â you say.Â
Seungkwan has a hard look in his eye, âI guess you didnât need your letters to remind you of anything after all.â
Your mind wanders, drifting past how easily this crew could have been forgotten in the unforgiving elements. Perhaps you would have let the man that wrapped his hands around your neck finish his job.
âWas getting captured part of your grand plan?â you ask Seungkwan.Â
âHm?â It takes a moment to realise what you may be questioning him about, smiling slightly. âWhat makes you think we went in with a plan?â
âI thought I asked you to man the wheel?â Hoshi stands above the both of you.
âNot to batten down the hatches,â he side-eyed his captain. âClear waters ahead, the wheel does not need manning.âÂ
You zone out as they squabble over nothing, not finding the heart to be entertained by their back and forth. Seungkwan either loses or forfeits, because you feel him rise from next to you, only for his captain to take his place.Â
âWhat are you thinking about?â Hoshi asks.Â
âEverything,â you sigh.Â
âHow come Seungkwan gets a thank you for your service and I donât? Need I remind you who jumped for you and who didnât?â
Rolling your eyes, you answer him, âThank you, Captain Hoshi Kwon, I am forever indebted to your service.â
He chuckles in exaggeration, âOh please, all in a day's work.â
âI mean it.â
âHm?â
âI never did say thank you. But you did jump for me when you didnât have to.â
âWho said I didnât have to?â
âOur deal was done.â
âOf course not,â he scoffs. âOur deal was to get you out when you jumped. I merely honoured that promise!â
âMerely?â you raise a brow. âWas it all merely a matter of conscience?â
His gaze locks with yours. âDonât ask questions you know the answers for. I wouldâve jumped even if you asked me to rope myself to the mast.â
âPlease. I have enough blood on my hands and I havenât even sat on my throne yet.â
âBlood is only on your hands if you tell a soul of what youâve done,â Hoshi utters. âYouâre the only living soul who knows.â
âAnd you areâŠ?â
âPirate. Our word means nothing.â Hoshi smiles.Â
The thought hangs in the air as you take in the man in front of you. Heâs changed an eraâs worth, yet all the same. His hair is longer, going from his initial shorter crop to curling around his ears, shielding his eyes. It makes him look younger, like a boy with much to live for.Â
That, and the multitude of notable scars heâs added to his collection, many of which have somehow been because of you. The wound at his torso is doing better, but far to go in its quest to heal.Â
Hoshi senses something amiss even after his sermon. Breaking his gaze, he turns to look straight ahead at the raised bow of the ship instead.Â
âDo you know how I got my splendid reputation for being the filthiest pirate on the seas?â
You can only stare, âI have a few guesses.â
He chortles, âOther than my criminal status.â
âTell me.â
âUnnamed sailors have the odds of a peanut facing its inevitable fate of being crushed under a straggling boot. Pirates donât see the government as their enemy when theyâre own supposed brothers are more likely to jam a cannon in their mouths.â
He lets out a heavy sigh before continuing, âMy mistake wasnât that I was on the losing side in my early days, but more about how I was leaving nothing behind when I was done.â
âHow humble,â you hum.Â
âDead men tell no tales. When itâs worth it, it might be better to leave a straggler or two to live to tell the tale. A routine stab in the jugular can turn you into somewhat of a myth.â
âAm I a survivor?â you question.Â
âYou may be sovereign on land, but youâre also an unnamed pirate,â he responds, turning back to lock eyes with you. âAnd youâve left nobody to tell the tale.â
No one listens to a pirate, and everyone listens to a Queen.Â
âThis isnât to say there wonât be a legend that follows you.â He quirks a brow as he speaks. âShows up and claims her father and his entire ship and crew sank at sea, only to befriend his sworn enemies in the aftermath. And then it evolves; she sent a cannon through her fathers ship, he died at the end of his own daughter's sword, she cursed him to captain a crew of the undead for eternity.â
âHave I planted the seeds for yet another ghost story?â Itâs difficult to not giggle at the thought, despite how morbid.Â
âYouâve given yourself substance,â he says, a little stronger than before. His eyes too, wander to your neck and the bruises that refuse to budge. âBeyond just a royal or even a pirate. You did it for your honour as a human being, and that may be braver than anything I have ever conquered.â
In your anxiety ridden, feeble mind, your thoughts had convinced your conscience that everything would be over the minute your fatherâs heart stopped beating. That it would bring you peace at last.Â
And it did, especially when it felt like youâd gotten rid of this constant monster under the bed that had followed you far into adulthood. But from the bleeding heart of the creature emerged yet another one of its brethren, and then another and then another.Â
Smaller albeit, but monsters nonetheless. Problems nonetheless.Â
Weeks of this, and in one short interaction, Hoshi seemed to have given you the key to turn this monster into a pet.Â
On instinct, you feel your hand reach up, brushing against the skin of his cheek. Itâs an all too familiar setting, seated on the deck of a ship too close for anybody but yoursâ comfort. But without the rum and resentment, of course. And how you doubt heâd pull away this time.Â
Very lightly, you brush your lips against his. It was nothing but to simply feel him again, to feel a semblance of familiarity.Â
You feel him take your hand that rests on his cheek to place a kiss on your palm, nuzzling his nose into the concave of your hand.Â
Everything that was to come seemed a little more possible in that very moment.Â
Even more so when his fingers found the sensitive areas of your coloured throat, when his lips closed against your jaw, only to trail lower and to press into the marks his fingers continue to trail tucked into your neck.Â
That night, when slipping into your hammock felt like the most unbearable prospect in your near future, it couldnât possibly be worse than uttering your next question to the man that seems to fix it all. Â
âWill you stay with me?â
With nothing but the light snores of the rest of the crew and the creaking of the ship, both you and Soonyoung laid in a hammock most definitely not meant for two. Head on his chest, ear pressed against where his heart beats under his scar, itâs bliss.Â
The feeling of his warm body against yours and the scent of him settling in your lungs, you decide that this was enough. At least for now.Â
IT WAS DIFFICULT TO give yourself the full list for obvious reasons, but it does seem to help when you tick off all the possible reasons why your patience has run as thin as it has.Â
Sitting at the decorated seat at the convened court of old men appointed by your father, you briefly wonder if you should finish them off too amidst your flash of anger. The men continue to squabble and babble about the next course of action, slamming their wrinkled hands on the pristine table and sending their own daggers of threats to the other inhabitants of the table.Â
âIf youâd like to send a search party for the Kingâs body, be my guest,â you finally speak, having had quite enough when the throb in your temple worsens. âBut remind me what troops youâll be sending to the North if your best men will be gone for months attempting to find a body they never will.â
The dispute in the North side of the Kingdom was taking up most of the conversation anyway, and you doubt theyâd put customary burial rites over their own glory of victory the North would bring.Â
âYour Majestyââ
âI would happily jump on the next search ship for my father,â you lie through your teeth. âBut I watched him drown in front of my own two eyes, and as the next sovereign I cannot let you waste our resources for something that will both risk our soldierâs lives and have them come back home empty handed.â
Perhaps you had come off slightly more heartless than you intended, so you quickly add, âPlease, let my father rest in peace.â
That seems to end the conversation easier than you had expected, but theyâre quick to jump to the next issue not long after.Â
âThe court would also like to bring light upon the palace guests.â
Tightening your jaw, you slump against your seat slightly. âWhat about them?â
They remain silent as their mouthpiece attempts to form the right words for the following question, mostly because youâve addressed this multiple times beforehand but they continue to sit restless.Â
âAllow me to help you, Lord Bridge,â you sit up straighter, intending to put this matter to rest. âMy guests will remain here for as long as they do, and if you have any more arising issues towards my guests I will only take it as your collective issues towards me.âÂ
In the moment of silence, you continue, âThe Kingdom is in a place of instability as we are all well aware. I find it most appalling that you remain fixated on trivial matters of the palaceâs domestic code of conduct than you do for the wellbeing of this country!â
Silence yet again as you wait for their forcibly rehearsed chorus of apologies.Â
âOur greatest apologies, your Majesty.â
The pain in your temples becomes near unbearable as you dismiss the table after that, screeching your chair as you push it back as loud as you possibly can to do nothing but spite the men.Â
Turning the corner out of the room, you catch the open gates that lead to the paved gardens outside, the sun seeping into the marble floors indoors. Taking an instinctive step towards the gardens, you find most of the crew sprawled onto the grass as they soak in the sun.Â
Chan and Seungkwan look like theyâre wrestling, their laughter ringing throughout the open court while their captain snaps at them to cut it out, only to get roped under one of their headlocks all the same.Â
Thereâs a call of your name and a giant wave from Mingyu, who spots you from beyond the flower beds. Still leaning against the gates, you smile and wave back.Â
Years the halls of the palace had gone, never hearing laughter in its walls. And something about watching them let themselves ruin the petunias and laugh so loud it echoes, heals you just a bit.Â
Even that night, when you find yourself in your giant four poster bed youâve slept in since you were a child, this time dozing under the arm of another, you feel the itch of a healing wound somewhere in your heart.Â
Soonyoung laid with you for every night on the ship since that night, and stayed even here where the space was big enough to host the ghosts of your worries if not distracted.Â
He had found you on that first night in the palace still awake, haunting the library fireplace with another stack of papers to keep you company.Â
âCanât sleep?â heâd asked as he picked up some of your documents.Â
âClearly not,â you huff. The papers were mere decorations as you attempted to find an excuse to leave your rooms.Â
âYou realise you wonât be much of an effective monarch if you exhaust yourself to death?â Â
There was no answer to that, especially when you were absorbing nothing of your new duties. Youâd expected to fall asleep on the armrest of the uncomfortable settee whenever it was that you exhausted your brain of thoughts, even then refusing to sleep in that large bed.Â
Heâs awfully persuasive, because as he tucks you into those very sheets, about to leave but not before placing a kiss on your forehead You stop him.Â
âStay. Please.â
True as he has always been, he does.
THE CROWN IS HEAVIER than you had expected, even more so when it remains on your head for longer than your previously practised sessions walking around the throne room. The crew was exceptionally good at giving you things to train with, including fraudulent rodent scares to ensure the crown would not topple from your own head the minute you rise from your coronation.
And now, as you finally remove the decorative piece from your head after your actual coronation to replace it with something lighter for the following ball, you find relief in the fact that youâd only ever have to wear the actual thing only a few times in your life.Â
Everything moves as smoothly as it could, the decorated pirates that saved their Queen from a horrid shipwreck taking up most of the attendees attention as they either question inquisitively or send snarky remarks to the men who are well versed in how to rebut in true informal manner.Â
The past months had taken up more of your time than you had anticipated, and during the latter half of the still twinkling party, you attempted to spot the person youâve been trying to corner all night.Â
Soonyoung stands at the edges of the gathering, empty handed as you watch him reject yet another offer for a drink from the trays that float about. His attire is the most formal you had ever seen, his face scrubbed and hair pushed back for the glorious occasion.Â
Approaching him from the sidelines, you take hold of his wrists and pull him towards one of the many doors in the ballroom and into a hallway you knew for a fact was rarely ever frequented.Â
âI feel I havenât seen you ages,â you say once youâre sure youâre alone.Â
âProbably best for you to keep busy,â he replies with the smallest smile.Â
âHave the wrappings on your wound come off?â
Looking at his covered torso, he runs an instinctive hand over where the wound was. âJust a smaller patch now, but itâs nearly there. Disappointed it wonât scar too much.â
âDisappointed?âÂ
âThese are my spoils of war, miss princess,â he adds with a smirk, before correcting himself. âAh, miss queen?â
âDoesnât have the same ring,â you comment.Â
âThe crown suits you.â His voice is soft and sincere.
Scoffing a little, you answer, âI would hope it did.â
âAlthough, I do prefer you in trousers and a knife.â
Laughing, you can only agree. Especially in your heavier than yourself dress and jewels. âI think I prefer them too.â
At the mention of your new status, he asks, âShouldnât you be milling between your new subjects?âÂ
Keeping your eyes on his face, you wait until he meets your gaze. âI have more important things to attend to.â
He breaks eye contact first, and you can feel the distance grow further. One reach and you could take his hand in yours.Â
But you donât.Â
âI know Iâve been quite busy, butâŠâ you trail off as you attempt to find the words. âIs something the matter? Whatâs going on?â
With a long sigh, he runs a hand through his kept hair, effectively tousling it a little. âI was going to wait until after the ball to tell you.â
âTell me what?â
He makes no moves to look at you when he utters his next words. âThe crew and I will be leaving at dawn tomorrow. Weâve taken up enough of your space and itâs best if we donât intrude any further.â
Itâs like youâve taken a blow to the chest, the air knocked out of your lungs as you register what heâs just said. âYouâreâŠ.youâre leaving?â
âI would think weâve both gotten what we wanted. We had a deal.â
Deal? Why was he mentioning that now?
âAre you going to abandon me too?â
His head snaps up to finally meet your eye, mouth opening closing as words betray him.Â
âWhat happened to what you said about gaining you? All of you?â Thereâs a blatant accusation in your words.
âAnd you have! Weâll visit. Assuming the state doesnât want my head on a pike anymore,â he chuckles uncomfortably.Â
In a moment of desperation, you take his hand in both of yours; his scarred, gnarled hands that tell you even in the dark whoâs warmth it is that you feel every night next to you.Â
âStay. Stay with me, please,â you plead. âI canât live in this place alone, I despised it when I was young and Iâll only despise it even more now.â
Soonyoung brings his other hand to clasp over both of your own, eyes closing as you hear him take a somewhat shaky breath. âIâm doing this for the both of us.â
âSo am I! I canât possibly rule a kingdom by myself.â
âIâm sure youâll find someoneââ
âI donât want someone! I want you!â
He begins to whisper your name, moving his face away to blink rapidly.Â
âHow do you feel about becoming a pirate king? I can never forbid you from the waters, thatâs your home, and you will have it.â
He does not look at you, but you know heâs listening more intently than ever before.
âBut I ask you as someone who loves you more than I have ever anything else, will you stay and marry me?â
Soonyoung falters as he absorbs the fact that youâve just proposed to him.Â
âIââ he stutters. âThe courtââ
âThe court wouldnât dare to deny me the man that saved my life.â
You squeeze his hand tighter, moving impossibly closer.Â
âAnd even if they do, I'm ready to fight for the man who fought for me. So answer me as a man and not a pirate, Kwon Soonyoung, will you marry me?â
Soonyoungs mouth enclosing over your own is all the answer you need as you feel him break free of your hands to let them find your waist instead. Amidst the pile of fabric he pushes himself into you as close as possible, letting your hands guide his head to move against your mouth.Â
Itâs everything, as you grip onto the back of his shoulder, pressing unforgettably into his open mouth. He takes in your bottom lip between his own, sucking before letting go, only to engulf your mouth once again.Â
âWeâll figure it out,â you whisper against his lips, feeling the nuzzle of his nose against the apple of your cheek, hot tears spilling from your eyes. âI promise, weâll figure everything out.â
He shushes you when he feels you shudder in his hold, pulling away to rest his forehead against yours. âNo need to torment your pretty head. Not right now.â
For once, you listen to your pirate captain without a fight, simply feeling the stretch of your lips as he moves down to capture them once more.Â
The pressure of his hands isnât nearly as strong as it wouldâve felt without the layers upon layers of fabric that cover your form, but standing in this desolate hallway, you swear his fingers might as well be caressing your bare skin underneath.Â
The thought sends your mind into a dazzling spin, letting go of his mouth with a gasp, suddenly needing to take a step back.Â
âI have toâI have to go back inside,â you breathe into his slick mouth. âMeet me outside my quarters at midnight.â
As scandalous as it was, you could not deny how alive it made you feel to be like this, meeting in darker corners in the dead of night. But for now, you allow him to fix the bits of your ensemble you could not see. With the bad of his thumb, he blends in the smudges of your rouge, swiping at your lips ever so delicately to ensure he leaves no trace of himself. Tucking the loose strands of hair back behind your ears, and finally, fixing the encrusted crown on your head, a flash of one of the diamondâs gleams reflecting onto his perfect face.Â
âYouâre beautiful.â Thereâs a dazed look that graces him. âBeyond beautiful.â
With one last innocent press of your smiling mouth onto his, you promise him your midnight.Â
BY THE TIME IT was finally an appropriate hour for you to excuse yourself for the evening, you were near to exploding entirely.Â
Whispers of âAre you alright, your Majesty?â plaguing you through your already racing mind. It was beyond difficult to keep the constant shaking of your foot unobvious, however you could not simply up and leave whenever you wantedâat least not yet. The monarch would remain in an unstable authoritative position for quite some time after ascension, and with the unorthodox situation at hand, you assume youâd really have to push yourself if you were to be of any use as sovereign.Â
But when the time finally came and you were escorted out of the grand ballroom, only mere ticks away from the resounding bells of midnight, you were holding back from breaking into a sprint. Outside your quarters it was empty, but you remain steadfast in your refusal for your ladies in waiting tonight, promising you could dress yourself for bed on your own.Â
Standing at the double doors of your rooms, still the princessâ quarters as you refuse to move into the Queenâs rooms, you stand waiting. The two guards remain staring straight ahead, and you wait for the clicking of your ladies to go muffled before you ask.Â
âHas the Captain approached?âÂ
âNo, your Majesty.â
You try not to feel disappointed, despite knowing the midnight bells were yet to sound. âIf he does, allow him in, please.âÂ
Opening the double doors, you half wish you had let your ladies help you out of the god awful dress, tight and loose in all the wrong places. The jewels are thrown haphazardly on your vanity, needing the heavyweight of them off of your body.Â
Perhaps months of little to no bedazzling had rendered you incapable of wearing anything mildly less comfortable than linen and leather, but you suppose youâd slip back into the habit just as easily as you slipped out of it. Your nightgown feels like heaven on your tired, tired body, and the dimly lit interior of your bedchamber is only encouraging you to slip under your covers and fall deep into sleep.Â
That was one thing about the ship you doubt youâd ever miss.Â
Three rapt knocks outside of the heavy double doors have you sitting rapt at attention, hastily making your way to the door from your vanity. Pressing the front of your nightgown down, you open the door slightly and poke your head out.Â
Soonyoung stands at the door, nervous of all things, still clad in his full suit. You smile as you let him in, closing the door to turn the lock.Â
âYour guards mortify me.âÂ
âOh? So theyâre doing their job right?â You walk up to him and grasp onto his lapels, pulling him down to meet the lips youâve missed so much despite only being hours apart. âWhy? Has this big bad pirate found his match in the palace guards of all places?â
âHmm,â heâs humming against your lips. âI could take them both.â
Giggling like you were in love, you wrap your arms around his neck and hold him close.Â
âI hope you werenât bothered too much,â you say. âThe aristocracy seem to have being a pain in the ass written in their birthrights.â
âI think they were too scared to approach, probably thought Iâd start swearing and snatching the pearls right off their necks. Some of them were bearable, asked me how long my sword was.â
Itâs difficult to not laugh at that, âWell?â
He raises his brows unceremoniously, âWonât you like to know?â
Taking the opportunity while you giggled uncontrollably at the situation, he goes back placing never ending kisses to your mouth. Sighing involuntarily, you melt into him once again, infinitely more relaxed than in the hallway.Â
Soonyoungâs eyelashes brush against yours in a whisper of their own, only reminding you how close you were to him in the moment. His kisses go from soft and fleeting to something with a little more vigour. The warmth of his mouth goes back to overtaking the lower half of your face, sucking and licking into your mouth like his life depended on it.Â
If your mind was reeling when his hands were merely ghosts of pressure over your heavy dress, the feeling of his palms and fingers so distinct over your nightgown, the only thing separating you two, is enough to have your knees begin to buckle.Â
From your waist, they move to your back, before caressing back to the sides of your waist, thumb running in circles. Gentle handfuls of your flesh, bunching and letting go of the material of your nightgown. Very soon, his mouth leaves yours and instead moves to your jaw, the air in the room letting you feel the wetness that he leaves behind as a passionate trail.
He soon reaches the junction of your jaw and neck, leaving a particularly long suck in the area that has a gasp leaving your mouth. Remaining in that area, you feel the pleasant graze of his tongue on your skin, only making you tilt your head farther out to let him carry out his loving.Â
Your mind wanders back to the hands that grope you in ways that would defame you, the unseemly palms that have you needing to feel him all the same.
With grazing hands, you slip your fingers underneath his jacket, pushing it off one shoulder. He understands the message, flicking it off of his frame before loosening his cravat and throwing it somewhere behind him.Â
Unlatching from your neck, he comes round to face you to find your face the epitome of disconnected and dazed.Â
âCan you wait for me on the bed, my love?â
âButââ The thought of him being even an inch away was most aggravating, but he cuts you off before you can refute.Â
âIâm not going anywhere, I promise.â Soonyoung rests his forehead against your own, taking your hands in his. âIâm right here. I just need to take this awful suit off.â
Your face must have been peculiar because heâs immediately jumping, panicked. âUhâdo you not want me to, we donât have to, I just thoughtââ
âNo!â you yelp, wide eyed. âI, um, Iâll wait. On the bed, I mean.â
He lets you walk over to the giant four poster bed, pushing the flow of your gown down when you realise how high it had ridden, cheeks burning scarlet at the thought of exposing so much.Â
Hearing ruffles from behind you, you cannot bring yourself to look back at him, already extremely lightheaded and afraid that the sight might make you faint altogether.Â
Perhaps you were experiencing a delayed case of sea legs, because itâs more difficult than usual to make yourself comfortable on the soft beddings. You make a futile attempt at slowing your breathing.Â
By the time Soonyoung is done, meeting you in the middle, you keep your eyes on his face as heâs immediately climbing over to kiss you softly. Hand on the back of your head, he guides you to lay flat, adjacent to the headboard so youâre laying on the breadth of the bed.Â
He handles you like you were made of glass, and it only makes the strange ache between your legs increasingly present and uncomfortable.Â
Noting a cool feeling on the base of your throat, you open your eyes and catch the leather cord that dangles from his neck, the letter opener charm thatâs attached to the end of it connecting you two as your lips part. Just beyond, through the dip of his collarbones and the valley to his chest, you catch the scar that curls above his heart. Even lower, you find the smaller wrappings of his scarring wound.Â
You trace over the edges of the new addition, shaking hands as you try your best to not brush over the wound.Â
On the other side, Soonyoung has his hands on shin as his body hovers over you between your legs. Curling around, he caresses the skin of your bare calf, drifting to the back of your knees. He takes the opportunity to lift your leg, urging you to wrap it around his waist.Â
The action has gravity doing what it does best, the hem of your nightgown dropping to bunch over the junction of your leg, your entire thigh exposed for the air.Â
Soonyoung takes no time to let his hands wander higher, taking light handfuls of the flesh of thighs, dragging his grip further and further up.Â
âNearly tipped the ship over when I saw you in those fucking trousers,â he says, eyes closed as he drags his mouth over the inner part of your thigh.Â
The sound that leaves your mouth is breathy, mind preoccupied with how quickly he was making his way towards the apex of your thighs. Heâs using his mouth like he used it on your own lips, nipping at the flesh before biting down hard.Â
âSoonyoung!âÂ
Tongue running over the patch, he sucks on the area to sooth the bite. Itâs taking everything out of you to not twitch uncontrollably in his hold, the heat in your core reaching temperatures youâve never experienced.Â
Unlatching himself from your thigh, Soonyoung rears his head slightly. The sight has your head rolling back, mind drifting to the face of the man whoâd visited you in your dreams, the same man that had now made home between your legs.Â
Before you realise it, the bunched hem of your nightgown is flown upwards entirely, fluttering as the fabric lands on your stomach.Â
Your heat is bare underneath, evident with the way Soonyoung keeps his eyes on the now fully exposed part of you. Your chest continues to rise and fall as you lift your head to look at him, eyes half closed and mind muddled.
âWhatâŠWhatâre you doing?âÂ
Soonyoung looks like youâve disturbed him from a trance, snapping up to look at you as you ask him your question.Â
It hardly registers in his mind. What was he doing? Was it not obviousâ
Ah.Â
If the mere sight of your bare thighs werenât enough for him to release his load onto the sheets untouched, your unawareness might just end up doing it for him.Â
Of course you didnât know why he was at eye level with your cunt; women from this world were not supposed to know.Â
The buzz in his mind renders him useless for a few moments as his vision blurs, the pain in his lower region unbearable. The thought of him being the first person to do this to you, to pleasure you like this; he wasnât sure if heâd make it till the end of the night alive.Â
Screwing his eyes shut, his palms full of your thighs, he drops his head and counts to ten.Â
âWill you let me show you how a Queen is meant to be worshipped?âÂ
Wet mouthed and unhinged eyes, your arousal was doing nothing but multiplying at the sight of him.Â
âDo you trust me?â he asks. âI promise Iâll make you feel good.âÂ
It takes you less than a moment to nod your head, eyes locked with his.Â
Bringing a hand closer, he dips one finger into the beginnings of your hole. Bringing some of the glisten onto his fingers. Your lips are parted and he brings a second finger to gather your arousal, rubbing over your entrance ever so slowly.Â
The motion makes you let out a heavy exhale, gripping onto the bunched fabric at your stomach till your knuckles turn white.Â
With little warning, you feel his fingertips push and drag upwards, right over the sensitive bundle of nerves. Immediately, heâs rubbing your arousal all over the area, rubbing your clit in rhythmic circles with both fingers.Â
You canât stop it when you throw your head back and let out a slight whimper, relishing in the feeling that overtakes every last sense and capability, anticipating the next surge of pleasure that courses through your entire body like you've been struck by a bolt of something.
Vision obscured, you loll your head to the side when you feel his fingers retract, confused.Â
All you catch is the outstretched nature of his tongue, and how it lands directly where his fingers were.Â
You let out the loudest moan yet, back arching off the bed as he licks a forceful drag up your cunt before moving back down your clit, circling your hole with the tip of his tongue, right before repeating. He flicks your nub right where heâs found you twitch the most, back and forth as your hips begin to fail at your suppressed stutters, his hands needing to pin you down onto the sheets to continue.Â
He becomes more generous, laying his tongue flat now as he massages your nub so good. Your thighs are closing around his ears and he does nothing to stop you, nearly suffocating between them. Hips going from their stutters to a grind, you find your hands flying to his hair, grip tighter than you thought youâd come down with. It doesnât help that heâs now taken a finger to circle your entrance while his lips suck on your clit.Â
âSoonyoung.â Itâs all you can say, throat incapable of forcing anything but his name, the burn behind your eyes only making it harder to not say it louder.Â
When he pushes the finger in, it has you letting out a moan, the foreign feeling against your walls only forcing them to clamp onto his digit. Gradually, you feel his pace quicken as he slides his finger in and out of your hole, his mouth still doing beautiful things to your cunt.Â
It doesnât take long for him to shove in another finger, stretching your hole as you let out a constant string of noises through the pleasure, ever-building as every passing moment only scrambles your brain further.Â
And then you feel him groan, a vibration throbbing through your system.Â
Itâs suddenly all too much, and before you can tell him whatâs going on, youâre rendered incapable. You donât know where your limbs fly, but all you feel is white hot and overwhelming to an unbelievable degree.Â
âOhâunghââ Your body is telling Soonyoung all he needs to know as he only pushes into your pussy even further, letting you ride out your high as you claw at him in every way possible.Â
Inevitably, the feeling subsides and you realise youâve been reduced to sobs, tears streaking the sides of your face. Laying flat with your head still on the sheets, you stare at the ceiling of your four poster, trying to remember where you were.Â
Barely noticing the man that now hover above you, you hear him whisper. âAre you alright?â
Nodding weakly, you donât even try to lift a finger in the remaining aftermath.Â
âI need words, my love.â
Swallowing thickly, you give him a breathy, âYes.â
The lower half of his face glistens in the light like unorthodox diamonds, and all you can think about is how you need him closer to you.Â
You make an attempt with your nightgown, your trembling arms, still coursing with the aftershocks of your orgasm.Â
Soonyoung decides to help, hands pushing your spine into an arch as he pulls the slip up and over your head, now entirely bare in front of him.Â
You watch as instead of throwing the fabric away, he brings it to his mouth to wipe the slick off, tainting the gown with your essence.Â
Mouth over yours in a salty kiss, you pull him into you as close as humanly possible, needing to feel his heat, his weight, his scent as close as possible. His mouth reaches your throat again, lips brushing over the expanse as he places open mouthed kisses over the nearly faded marks.Â
His hands are lingering once again as they ghost the sides of your breasts, thumbs coming close to your nipples before retracting in a caress. He takes them in handfuls as he goes back to busy your lips with his own, massaging the mounds with a pressure just enough to have you reeling.Â
Flicking your nipple lightly, he goes back to circle the bud with thumb again. Making himself further familiar, his fingers begin to pinch and pull at them, pressing down to get a noise out of you, one that you sound as you breathe into his mouth.Â
Trailing over your stomach, he pushes himself off of you. On his knees, he takes the distance as his chance to look at you in your entirety for the first time. Your fucked out expression and your lack of words is doing nothing but fueling him, your loud breaths somehow more sinful than anything he could ever do to you.Â
In one swift motion, heâs slipping his arms beneath you, pulling you up so he can lay you against the headboards and pillows. You barely register whatâs happening, having given yourself up to him long before.Â
Grabbing one of the millions of cushions on the bed, he swings one over. Using no strength of your own, he lifts your hips and places it down beneath you, effectively propping you up.Â
And then heâs meeting you at eye level, hands cupping your face. âI need you to listen to me, darling.â
He waits for confirmation, of which you can only nod, still seeing mild stars. âDo you want to stop?âÂ
It's a visceral reaction; the violent shaking of your head, the hand that flies to his bicep. âNâno!â
You pause as he grips onto your upper arms tight, right as you continue. âI justâa moment. Donât stop, please.â
Leaning down, he places a long kiss on the corner of your mouth before moving his head to fit into the crook of your neck. He nuzzles his nose against the skin below your ear.Â
âIâm right here,â he whispers. âFor as long as you want me.â
His kisses go from desperate to something with a little more intent, pressing his lips into your neck consistently. Oh so gently, it begins to feel like a draught. He turns into calm just as he could become chaos, bringing you down from the after effects of his own actions.Â
The hum that leaves you is unthinking, fingers remaining deep in the roots of his hair. Your own nose is pressed against his hair, his scent mixed with sweat infiltrating your nostrils. It fills your head with a pleasant buzz, one that you feel force a pull at the corners of your mouth.Â
âI meant it when I said it,â you murmur into his hair. âI donât want anyone but you.â
Raising his head, he meets your eye, smiling slightly. âI believe you. Forgive me for making you believe I was trying to leave you.â
âYou werenât?âÂ
He presses his lips into a line, exhaling as he drops his chin to his chest. âIâve needed to be selfish my whole life just to survive. LeavingâŠI wasnât sure how I wouldâve gotten on that boat in the morning without taking you with me somehow.â
Moving back to look at you, you realise very quickly thereâs more to the mere glassy look in his eye. âFor once, I wished to be anything but a pirate, to be anywhere but near the sea. Not when you wouldnât be there with me.âÂ
Taking one of his beautifully decorated hands to your mouth, you kiss the soft of his palm. âYouâve done more than anyone ever has to protect me.âÂ
You laugh against his hand, âThis is my turf, captain. Let me protect you⊠protect us.â
Something injects you with a dose of bold, and you find yourself wrapping your arms around his raised shoulders. âButâŠI believe we were in the middle of something. Iâd hate to ruin the mood.â
The smirk that graces his lips is immediate, pushing you back down onto the sheets as you let a laugh escape you.Â
And then you feel something warm graze your bottom lip, pointed in the way it pushes inwards. Heâs brought the glinting letter opener charm up to your lips, the trinket pinched between his fingers as he continues to keep it on your mouth. He kisses you deep as the metal remains between you two, your hands run across the expanse of his back, feeling the muscles ripple as he props himself between you.Â
âI love you,â he cuts between the kiss to groan, the charm dropping from between your mouths to your chest.Â
âI love you, mmhââ His fingers have found your clit mid confession, rubbing quickly as he attempts to get you all hot and withered again.Â
Your legs raise on instinct, back arching as he rubs you mercilessly, the pressure building quicker than it had before.Â
âIâI thinkââ you start to tell him, and it seems itâs all he needs to remove his fingers entirely.Â
âSoonyoung!â you yelp, landing on the bed with a thud.Â
Looking down, you find his hands wrapped around the length between his own legs, and you realise this was your first time seeing it. Past the white-oozing slit, his tip is a painful looking red. If his hands werenât already pumping and he hadnât already lined himself up to your hole, you wouldâve taken him into your own palms, done exactly with your mouth that heâd done with his own.Â
But you canât find it within yourself to stop him when you feel the initial push of his bulbous tip against your hole, the stretch causing you to drop your mouth open.Â
âFuck,â you hear him curse, and when you look up you find his own eyes screwed shut. His hands grip the plush of the pillow beside your head as tight as ever, face askew like he was holding himself back from combusting entirely.Â
Slowly, you feel the stretch turn into something akin to a burn, a sting in the back of your eyes. You let him push himself into you at his own pace, the never ending battle between your mind and your refrained hips ever present as you attempt to keep them at bay.Â
He keeps his pelvis flush against yours ince heâs sheathed himself inside you entirely. BOth of your pants fill the thick air of the room, the throb of your walls around his shaft leaving a tremble in his forearm despite your forsake.Â
Hand somewhere above your head, you feel Soonyoung pull out ever so slightly before pushing back in. Just like this, in shallow thrusts, he pumps himself in an out of your walls in a slow pattern.Â
It begins with a simmering tremble of pleasure that prolongs as he drags his cock in and out, and then in and out, and thenâ
Your eyes fly open when you feel his hips slam against yours with a resounding sound, fingers gripping his arm as he does it again, your moans penetrating the air. Before you know it, heâs hiked your legs up to wrap around his waist, ankles locking as he goes back to snapping his hips into you.Â
âOh, Soonyoung.â
Your nails are digging into his bicep like it was the only thing tying you to this earth, the only thing keeping you from passing out entirely. Heâs taken up a brutal pace, pistoning into your clamped walls with a vigour unmatched.Â
All Soonyoung can hear is the stretch of your moans and groans directly in his ear, the obscene squelch of both of your fluids mixing at your middles. Your hands have migrated to his back, clawing at the skin like youâve been utterly possessed.Â
He canât seem to mind, not when theyâll simply become reopening wounds every time heâll have you like this, all to himself and no one else. He wonders vaguely if your guards outside can hear the way youâre losing yourself in him just as he is in you, wonders if it appalls them that a filthy pirate gets to have their Queen in his arms as her vindictive pleasure.Â
One hand rubbing over your slick clit, he pulls back to sit on his heels, the angle allowing him to keep ever part of you occupied, his spare hand coming up to toy with the pillow of your breast.Â
Itâs all too much, for the both of you as your collective noises become increasingly frequent and high pitched.
And then heâs pushed you over the edge, the shake of your thighs electrifying as you nearly scream out in the bliss of your high. Hands moving every which way to find a grip as you let the feeling crash into you over and over again.Â
âOh, thatâs so good, so good, oh my goodness.â
Youâre still in the middle of your climax when Soonyoung canât take it anymore, letting himself release his load inside of you like a mark. Itâs a mess of force and pleasure as the both of you lose sight of your strengths and weaknesses, the feeling of his hot cum shooting into your walls only prolonging your orgasm even further.Â
He continues to thrust, continues to play with your nub, continues to flick at your nipples despite the orgasm subsiding. Itâs all suddenly too much all at once, the sharp jerk of your body and your voice asking him to stop.Â
âSoonâSoonyoung, itâs too much.â
Hands coming to a halt and his thrusts slowing, you feel him ease himself out of you.Â
Itâs a sight Soonyoung doubts he could ever forget even if he tried, your still pulsating walls doing everything but keeping the milky white of his load inside you, globs of the liquid spilling out as you shudder near lifeless on the bed. His hands grope at the inside of your thighs, pulling your lips apart to take in the mess heâs made.Â
He canât help himself when he pushes two fingers into your hole, feeding his cum back into your hole right where it belongs.Â
Youâve only barely started to come round when he meets you at eye level, plopping next to you on the bed.Â
âHi,â he grins.Â
âHi,â you breathe back, hands coming up to touch his face.Â
He lets you breathe for a few moments as he finds himself getting off the bed to find your tainted nightgown, moving back to you to spread your legs and wipe you clean as best as he could.Â
You find it within yourself to allow him to pull you into a sitting position, a cup of water from the nightstand pressing against your tired mouth.Â
âCome on, just one,â he urges as you slump against his chest.Â
You take a few sips as he coaxes you into drinking the full cup and half of the second helping.Â
He gives up as he holds you against his chest, brushing his fingers through your tangled hair to push past your face.Â
âAre you alright?â he asks you. Your eyes are closed when he leans down to place a peck on the apple of your cheek.Â
âMhm,â you muffle. âWant to sleep.
âIâd let you, butâŠâ
âSoonyoung, I canât go again,â you whine.Â
He chuckles, âI meant to ask where we could find some sugar around here. You barely ate anything at the ball.â
âThe kitchens?â you answer with a floating question mark.Â
Soonyoung canât help it when he squeezes you so tight it has you complaining loudly, not being able to sustain the love just in the tiny expanse of his heart.Â
âCome on, letâs get you some cake before both our hearts give out.â
BUNDLED UP IN WARMER clothes, the only thing the palace walls hear is the tiny whispers and giggles of you and your lover as you make your way to the kitchens.Â
Itâs empty at this time of night, the dying embers of the fireplace the only source of light. Soonyoung uses every last bit of his thievery to manage to find a basket of dough balls, the syrup more readily available at the table in the centre.
The tingling in your brain canât seem to decipher the overwhelming happiness that floods you from the ends of your hair to the tips of your toes. Especially when you call out his name amidst his shuffling, your heart canât take the grin on his face as he hurries to join on the floor in front of the fireplace.Â
Arm looped through his own and your head on his shoulder, you decide youâd be quite okay dying like this.Â
The dough balls are cold and the syrup is probably a little too sweet, but you canât possibly complain when it warms you just the same.Â
âIâve despised my name my entire life,â Soonyoung starts in the silence, picking at the insides of his treat. âSome old merchant sailor was giving his ship away in exchange that the taker would take care of it. Heâd built his Tigress from the first board to the last sail, but the years had made their mark. It was practically falling apart when I took it off his hands.â
He pushes the remaining bit of the pastry into his mouth, muffled as he continues, âHe had a strange name, said it was given to him by his crew when they realised he was born without a name. Hoshi. I liked it well enough so I kept it.â
âSoonyoungââ
âThat one. I wanted to replace the name I loathed, the one my own mother gave me.â You watch as his throat bobs as he swallows. âAsh is my birthplace, my mother worked in the brothels where I was born only because she couldnât get rid of me.â
Taking one of the hands that wrap around his arm, he brings your fingers to your mouth, kissing the tips of each one. âI despised that name, until I heard it from your lips.âÂ
âSoonyoung.â It felt right on your tongue, like you were destined to say his name.Â
âYes, my love?â He smiles softly.Â
âI love you.â
âI love you more,â he says as he kisses you again. âThank you for keeping my name, thank you for giving it life.â
You take the opportunity to grab one of the syrup soaked dough balls from the basket and stuff them into his mouth. âEnough, donât tell me all this luxuryâs made you soft.âÂ
It was a jab but a lighthearted one in any case, you loved to see this side of him and you doubt you would ever get enough of seeing him like this. Vulnerable with his softer smiles and squinted eyes.Â
Bringing one of your digits to your mouth, you suck the remaining syrup off your fingers.Â
Soonyoung is quick to take notice as he takes your hand and brings your fingers up to his mouth, running his tongue over the pads of your fingers to take in the remaining sugar left on your fingers.Â
He keeps his eyes locked onto yours as he sucks on the tips of your fingers, making sure every last hint of sweetness is gone.Â
And then heâs kissing you, tongue in your mouth as he moves against your lips slowly.Â
Breaking apart, you whisper, âAs much as Iâd love to, the bakers will be coming in any minute now.â
Soonyoungâs grin is dangerous, and you find out why the minute you feel his arms loop around your waist and under your thighs, lifting you clean off the floor of the kitchens.Â
You squeal before you can help it, his lips finding home in your neck as you laugh as loud as your chest would allow.Â
You could get used to this. And you will.Â
THE SERVANTS CARRYING THE giant stack of plates nearly topple over when you sprint past them, yelling a loud apology over your shoulder as you do nothing but hasten your pace.Â
The paper in your hands is clutched tight in your fists as you run to where your carriage awaits, near yelling at the driver to make it to the docks before the streets would be full of the early morning merchants and bakers, slowing the gallops of the decorated horses.Â
The town is waking as your carriage races past, the beginnings of the new day making itself known as the sun peers through the gaps of the houses. Youâre incapable of sitting still, your heels tapping against the floors of your cabin incessantly as the docks grow nearer and nearer.Â
And then you see it, the rush of dock handlers that see the royal carriage slow to a stop in front of the boardwalk. You slam the door open before any of the tens could do it for you, breaking into a sprint as you find the distinct flag of the royal crest wave high on the other end of the docks.Â
You had already seen Soonyoung off in the dark of the night as he made his way to the ship that was near ready to depart as you slide to stop in front of the anchored ship.Â
There was nothing sane about what you were doing, the chortles and shocked noises of sailors and merchants deaf to ears as you finally spot him near the prow.Â
His eyes meet yours and he has to do a double take.Â
Panting and needing to hold onto your knees for support, you peer up as you watch him run towards the ramp that leads down to the docks to see you, to ask why you were here when heâd kissed you goodbye mere hours ago.Â
By the time he meets you at the wobbly boardwalk, youâve somewhat recovered.
âAre you alright?â he asks you as soon as youâre within earshot, hands grasping onto your upper arms in evident concern.Â
âI had to tell you, this came in right after you left.â You brandish the paper clutched into your fist, smoothing it over as the light catches the red stamp at the bottom.Â
It takes him less than a minute to realise what it said, eyes blinking rapidly and mouth gaping like a fish. âTheyâŠThey said yes?âÂ
âThey said yes,â you repeat, nodding furiously as you break into a smile. âWe can get married, Soonyoung, they said yes.â
His arms are crushing you before you know it, wrapped around you so tight as he buries his face into your neck, repeating it like a mantra, âThey said yesâŠâ
By the time you part, he keeps his arms around you, still embracing you in front of the entire port. You take hold of his face bringing it closer to you.Â
âThree months, and then you come home,â you breathe. âAnd I get to marry you, in front of everyone.â
Soonyoung lets his lips meet your own in a chaste kiss as he corrects you, âI get to marry you in front of everyone.âÂ
Thereâs a thud of something nearby, and you look up to find the crew of the Tigress hanging over the railings of the newly appointed naval ship that looked suspiciously like a pirateâs.Â
âHe canât come back home, if he doesnât leave!â Seungkwan yells over cupped hands.Â
Youâd like to send him an affectionate gesture involving your middle finger, but choose to save him in front of the crowded port.Â
âYouâll miss me, Seungkwan, just you wait,â you send him a pointed glare that he simply scoffs at.Â
He might miss you, but youâll definitely miss the lot of them when you return to a significantly emptier palace.Â
âDonât let the royal snobs walk over you, youâre a better sailor anyway,â you tell Soonyoung. âNot that I needed to tell you, anyway.â
âI promise on our future wedding to be a complete menace.â He grins at the declaration as you admire him in the morning light.Â
One last time, you memorise the dips and hills of his features, pressing your final kiss into his lips as the voices telling him to hurry it up grow louder.Â
He blows you a kiss from the railings as the anchor is hoisted, and you send him one right back.Â
As your carriage trudges its path back to the palace, at a pace more acceptable for both the stamina of the horses and the integrity of the structure, your eyes remain glued to the shrinking ship that fades into the distant horizon.Â
Thereâs a pang in your chest, one that brings a tear to your eyes. Itâs all very dramatic, the way the melancholy makes a home in your heart. An inkling tells you how youâll probably become quite used to the feeling, learn to greet it like a friend.Â
For now you enter the lighter palace, and take your place on the chair in your study and find solace in the ideas your mind brings.Â
That no matter how long Soonyoung will remain far from you, he will always come back home to you.Â
Always.Â
[AN]: ty for joining my babies on their journey, i cannot thank you all enough for reading all 48fuckingK words of this i love you guys truly!!! thank you for all the reblogs and comments on the other parts, it makes me genuinely so happy to see you guys enjoy this universe that i've built. I read every single comment and know i appreciate all of it so so much <3
#svthub#hoshi fluff#hoshi smut#hoshi angst#hoshi fic#hoshi imagines#hoshi x reader#hoshi#soonyoung smut#soonyoung fluff#soonyoung scenarios#soonyoung imagines#soonyoung x reader#seventeen#soonyoung#seventeen flluff#seventeen smut#seventeen angst#seventeen fic recs#svt#svt smut#svt fluff#svt imagines#svt scenarios#svt x reader#em.writes
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who is #43?
Hello !! First off thank u for visiting. If you clicked read more by accident rip sorry itâs a lot of text. ENJOY!!! <3
1. This was the photo reference I used. I really did mean it when i said he photographs well!! I really like how scrungly he looks at times lol. v paintable
2. hereâs a timelapse for your viewing pleasure in video + gif form <3
3. Process breakdown below. I am not formally trained, so donât take any of this as professional advice!! The way i paint has been compared to channeling some evil contract with a demon also. So um . Im saying that i dont remotely think that this is efficient or correct, its just whats comfortable for me <3
3a) the dreaded lining phase. I have 2 modes of operation when it comes to painting - either i go full-dick with fancy inking/sketching + cel shading (rare, unrefined, havenât figured out a nice workflow yet) OR i do a very very basic chicken scratch set of lines like so:
Itâs less about being realistic here and more about laying down some guide lines for the chaos ahead. If i thought i could get away with it, I would start every rendered painting i do with laying down colours â but unfortchh ive tried that before and it usually ends in really weird proportions. Even with the lines i still need to make adjustments. This is something no people except me would notice but look at the above sketch; the eyes are too big and slightly too far apart, the forehead is too small and thus the hair is also not quite big enough⊠I have a bad habit of drawing eyes too big on faces, theyâre my favourite facial feature to draw.. i barely resisted giving him big cow eyelashes (I love big cow eyelashes⊠all of my OCâs and most of my more stylised fan art of characters get big cow eyelashes⊠godâŠ. Big cow eyelashes SAVE MEâŠâŠâŠ.)
Anyway. Structure of the face + hand somewhat established. <3
3b) Underpainting!! Okay stay with me here . Ever since i figured out i dont have to paint in 03925893853 different layers, Iâve joyfully painted on 1 layer as much as possible. I dont have the brain power all the time to be managing layers so I simply dont work with that many layers. For this painting, the skin in its entirety was painted on one layer, the hair on another layer, and the effects on the last layer. There was a placeholder background off-white/grey colour for a while there, and I duplicated the line layer â one for figuring out where to lay colours, and one hidden for later so i could check back to see how accurate to the sketch/proportions were to the actual painting. 6 layers, 2 of which i painted the bulk of the piece on, 1 more at the end.
3c) hereâs where I started carving out features. I think about objects in terms of volumes and light rather than lines. i love painting and sculpting because of this!! Here you see where Iâve begun to define his features â his eyelids, his bags, his nostrils. Just refining what was there before. The suggestion of facial hair before i gave it up and left it for later (his face is so naked the WHOLE time)
3d) nose bridge highlight, suggesting his eyebrows, a cheek highlight. A touch more coral red and muted yellow pull away from the grey/blue underpainting. Strategically leaving some of it peeking through.
3e) i truly start messing with the fidelity of his features here. Red lipstick <3 and some violet/blue for shadows on the right side of his face.
3f) the part where it starts looking like q.hughes to me (though, my friend said i got his vibe pretty early on which is such a compliment.. waaaaaâŠ..) I love this part of every painting i do. I know itâs definitely not the Correct order since other parts of the entire painting are simply Not Rendered or Done, but whos gonna stop me?? :3
I love love loveeee painting faces. Adding the little shinies to his eyes + lips + upper lip + nose ⊠you donât know how much of a difference it makes until you do it. Also i snatched his eyebrows
3g) i really pushed the red/coral/ochre/orange here. Note the yellow highlights on his cheekbones, the forehead, and the thin thin line of pink right between where his bottom lip ends and his chin shadow starts <- very important . To ME!!!!!!! Also highlighting his waterline and adding his lashes was so so fun <3
3h) FACIAL HAIR!!! And I started rendering his hand. Some micro adjustments made to his face for proportion check.
3i) i start painting his hair in earnest and realise his forehead is too small so i make the adjustment. I really love how it falls into his eyes in this photo. <3
3j) i make some final adjustments to his eyes â a bit smaller, closer together. And i refine the outline of his jaw, push the stylisation of it just a little.
3k) Finishing details; his flyaway hairs, his moles, a bit of texture on his face, shadows cast by his hair, his little forehead cut <3
3l) i adjusted his hand here, added more texture to his skin, refined his hair a tiny bit more, and made the decision not to fuck around painting his jersey because i wanted the focus to be his face <3
3m) Canucks blue and green. Captain at 23. His form bleeds into the background. He is the franchise.
theee most fun ive had painting anything. and i finally feel... warmed up? if that makes sense. art for me is like. if i dont do it in a while it feels like nothing goes right when i come back to it. i hate that feeling, and the most difficult hurdle to clear is letting myself feel that until i get back into my Zone. after all this time i feel like im BACK !!!!!!!
i loved painting this fella. hes SO Shaped. <3
Apologies i simply do Not have the energy to write the alt text for all of these so i hope the little blurbs are okay aslkjasdklj. i gotta post and go to bed . if u made it this far, thank you for reading!!
#details and process under the cut âŠ.!#god⊠it really is like . they let anybody be in their mid 20s these days??? (<- guy in his mid 20s)#quinn hughes#vancouver canucks#hockey art#puckpainting#<- abandoned wet rat of a tag. rarely used
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Kinda oddly embarrassed to send this but oh my god your art is so pleasing to look at for some reason
I think it's just the soft shapes you use and how amazingly 3D everything tends to look?? Like the angles and proportions are just so perfect that I find it easy to imagine most of what you draw as a 3D model or something
And like I don't think I could nail it like you (maybe with time!!) But I am definitely taking inspiration from it because it DOES get me thinking about how you use shapes and angles and wonder if I could practice that because oh my god I wish I could absorb your art
Do you have methods or techniques to make it look so 3D? if you know what I mean? I tend to use grids to try and map out the shapes in a vaguely 3D plane, so I was wondering if you had tips kinda like that to share with the class? or if you're just winging it and it's a lot of practice?
Thank you so much!!! It really means a lot to me when others take inspiration from my art, it reminds me of all the artists I used to look up to and emulate when I was first starting out on MSPaint with a broken trackpad for a pen, you donât have to be embarrassed! Youâll definitely be able to harness 3D space and create fantastic work, youâre already well on your way! Having passion and a desire to learn will take you far :)
My biggest focus whenever I draw is to make the characters feel real, as though you could reach out and enter the space theyâre in to sit next to them on the couch. Iâm so glad that Iâm able to pull it off! Thanks for the rose, Iâll be sure to cherish it :)
As for my methods and techniquesâŠ
Drawing on a 3D grid plane is definitely something I do! Its perfect for comic panels or storyboards, to set the scene and ground characters or props to their environment.
I did a lot of classical study, that is life drawing and still life drawing, but simply using reference for buildings and anatomy also helps a lot and is a lot easier to find. Iâd also sketch my hands, plastic animals, and my surroundings, as well as people watch for inspiration for character mannerisms or fashion. Itâs useful to know a little bit about the inner workings of anatomy, as there are places were bone makes a person inflexible, while places with more muscle or fat are affected by things like gravity or pressure that change their shape. Drawing a flour sac to act out different emotions is a great way to practice weight and character acting!
Having studied animation, I did a lot of turnarounds to get characters consistent and able to be rotated in 3D space. It can be pretty tedious for some people, but it really does help solidify the charactersâ shapes and design, and serves as great reference to look back on if you need it! If you donât want to do something so stiff as a turnaround, simply drawing expressions and poses from dynamic angles helps too. Iâve found that breaking a character down into basic shapes that are easy to draw in a 3D plane also can help my anatomy and foreshortening be more accurate.
Most importantly, find something that brings you joy to draw! Every âtraditionalâ method of study can be applied to things you like, so donât feel the need to burn out thinking you can only draw the Mona Lisa or whatever. Iâve done anatomy studies on the Rise turtles to figure out their skeletal structure, and friends of mine have painted some mind blowing concept art inspired by Sonic and D&D!
I hope this helps some? Best of luck, and have fun! :D
Below are a couple of examples of some of my studies:
#ask#art tips#thank you!#itâs also definitely a lot of practice and winging it lol#i still donât know how thighs and calves work sometimes
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âïž Â°. âą Thank You Neil âą .° âïž
I pushed myself to finish this in time, and I did! I met Neil, and gave him a physical copy. Till this day, I just freak out when I remember⊠I really admire him! Iâll talk about that and this art piece after the Read More if youâd like to hear about that.
This art piece started in October, last year as an Astarion fan piece, but overtime I realized I wanted to do something more meaningful. Iâve known of Neil since DBH, so why not create something for him? So I added in Neil, and then I left it alone for months. Didnât really think anything of it since usually all my art follows this treatment. I focus on it for a whole two weeks and then it fades into the background. However, I got word that Neil was coming to my area, and thatâs when I started freaking out. Like, oh my god, I need to finish this⊠can I give this to him? Iâve never gone to a convention before⊠what am I gonna do?
So I kept debating to finish this, because I didnât know what was allowed, and if I could even finish in time, how would I even print this? I mean, I can just finish it at my own pace and tag him or something. In the end, I decided that itâs more important to me to get it to him in person, that way I can also get my copy signed. I had to plan this all out, and long story short, I rushed it in a week. I pulled two all-nighters, and just REALLY rushed on poor Gavin in the background. Gavin was actually a last minute decision! I wouldâve added Kamski, but heâs literally just a face copy of Neil so I decided against that, and Gavin was the close second. The reason I chose DBH was because thatâs where I first discovered Neil. I was a fan of this game when it first released. Heisenberg was another option, but I never got to his part of the game so I felt it wasnât a good pick since I was going under personal limitations. Not to mention, really low on time. However, I added some references on the wall, specifically the ones where it was games that I had played! I couldâve added more, but again- time. I drew them in a motion capture studio, because I envision Neil practicing and performing with the characters he had worked on. I just felt like It was a cute little idea, and I admire Neil for his motion capture the most. Itâs something Iâm trying to get into, or some form of it at least.
Then. The Day.
AHHHHHH. I was starstruck. Iâm just going to sum it up and talk about this specific moment. Iâm next in line and I just blurt out, âIâm trying really hard not to get starstruck!â But Iâm already shaky and half my memory gone. I was so anxious, trying to get through the moment that I didnât really get to enjoy the moment, but man, am I still happy. I tell him about the piece and heâs like oh, what have you been working on? The drawing got jammed in its protector, so I was just struggling with it. âOH, sorry, itâs stuck!â And he thankfully found it funny. Gave it to him, got my copy signed and perfect. But AHHHH, Iâm anxious right? I ask him if he could sign the back of it, because I was worried Iâd cringe at the piece in the future. I normally donât call my art cringe but why, why was I THAT honestâ
Heâs so quick to reply, super sweet man, just tells me no, donât cringe. He also asked me about my focus in motion capture, but thatâs another post for another day. I have something in the works for that!
Look, in my defense! I RUSHED the piece, so I knew Iâd get a bit irritated in the future seeing my art and knowing I had the time to really do a beautiful job! I just meant that knowing how much potential I had, had I taken advantage of that, it would have turned out so much⊠not better, but to my liking. Iâm content, considering the limitations, but⊠yâknow? Anyways, I still wanted to look at his signature and proudly display that, like aye, I got to meet him!
Considering that I rarely draw real people, Iâm definitely proud with how Neil turned out. Just like Neil told me, and many others, canât be too harsh with myself. When working on this, I was super excited and actually thrived while working on it. Yes, under pressure, but dedicated. I canât remember the last time I ever fixated on an art piece like this. With that said, I definitely want to try again in the future and get better at drawing semi-realism. And Neil is coming back to my area next year so⊠ideas.
Anyways, thank you for reading my little journal entry! Back to work I go~
#neil newbon#gavin reed#astarion#digital art#character illustration#drawing#rendered#clip studio paint#artwork#full body#bg3 art#bg3#bg3 astarion#detroit become human#dbh fanart#dbh gavin#baldurs gate 3#baldurs gate fanart#baldurs gate astarion#fan art#illustration#original art#art#journal
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I don't see this topic discussed very often, but Alastor is such a great foil and antagonist for Charlie, and a catalyst for her character arc.
In any narrative, a foil is a character who contrasts with another character, typically, a character who contrasts with the protagonist, in order to better highlight or differentiate certain qualities of the protagonist. A foil to the protagonist may also be the antagonist of the plot. [...] A protagonist is the story's main character, whose actions help propel the plot forward. An antagonist, while often a secondary character, is pivotal in creating compelling narratives by introducing challenges and conflicts for the protagonist to overcome. These two characters are seen as opposing forces serve as the driving forces behind the plot; with the protagonist representing the hero or central figure of the story, and the antagonist acting as the main adversary. Together, they create a dynamic, and often complex, relationship that draws readers and audiences into the narrative, leaving them invested in the outcome of the conflict between the two. [...] The protagonist's journey often involves some sort of personal growth or transformation, as they learn important lessons or face significant challenges [from the antagonist] that shape their character.
When we look at Alastor and Charlie as separate characters, they couldn't be more opposite from one another. Whereas Charlie is sincere, genuinely friendly, innocent, naĂŻve, trusting, believes that there is good in everyone, finds hope in redemption, and is one of the most pure-hearted souls in Hell, Alastor is steeped in sin. He is a remorseless narcissist and sociopath who enjoys torturing and killing others; in life, he was a serial killer who targeted the "scum of the Earth" - abusers, rapists, murderers, etc. - for amusement, entertainment, and to enact his brand of "divine justice" on the guilty.
He is someone who is unapologetic, or even gleeful, about giving others the comeuppance that he believes that they deserve. Alastor thinks that "there is no undoing what is done", and that sinners in Hell - himself included - deserve eternal punishment, whereas Charlie wants sinners to be redeemed, and find eternal happiness, peace, and bliss in Heaven. There two couldn't have more opposing views that clash with one another; and, yet, Alastor and Charlie usually get along quite well, and are well-matched in other personality aspects, such as enjoying music, dancing, and working as business partners.
Alastor's character traits also balance out Charlie's traits well. Whereas Charlie is innocence, Alastor is experience; whereas Charlie is naïve and trusting, Alastor is shrewd, calculating, and mistrusting; and, when Charlie needs assistance in her darkest hour, Alastor appears to help her, serving a role as both her friend (i.e. shared interests) and her antagonist (i.e. having conflicting goals and beliefs), with the latter role being important in Charlie's character development in Season 2 and beyond. Without Alastor, there is no development for Charlie.
The entire purpose of the antagonist in a story is to shape, mold - or "guide", as Alastor puts it - the protagonist (Charlie), and serve as a catalyst for character growth. In Charlie's case, we have a classic case of what the Germans call a blindungsroman, or "a story that focuses on the psychological and moral growth of the protagonist from childhood to adulthood". From a character standpoint, Charlie is still in the "childhood" stage, but Alastor wants to help transition Charlie from "childhood" into "adulthood", and from "innocence" into "experience", in what one writer termed "the crucible of youth".
"The German word 'Bildung' is both a thing and a process, originally referring in a Medieval Christian context to how God actively transforms the passive soul of the believer. If sin deforms the believer, the sinner must passively prepare to receive God's grace, and this passive reception is a kind of molding by God to prepare the sinner's soul for redemption. From the very beginning of the idea of Bildung, the word identifies how people become who they are, and it has always assumed that 'becoming' is never simply an act of the individual will. [...] A universal truth seems constant...reaching maturity is often achieved at great cost, and only after severe heartbreak."
#hazbin hotel#alastor#hazbin alastor#hazbin hotel alastor#charlie magne#charlie morningstar#hazbin charlie#hazbin hotel charlie#charlastor#radiobelle#opposites attract
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My Thoughts on The Playbill Character Bios (Part 2):
Overlord and others Time!
-Carmilla Carmine: Most decorated? Do Overlords get awards or is just she gets awards and happens to be an Overlord too? Either way, good for her. Also I was wrong, she isn't the defacto leader when it comes to Overlord meetings there's an actual Board of Overlords and she's the host for them. I NEED more info on how that works. Also made me feel even worse for Pentious, you got a former boss that could easily get you to be considered an Overlord but she decides not to.
-Rosie: Hahahaha, I'm genuinely gonna be kinda pissed if that stupid leak turns out real! I love how much of a saleswoman she is and the cute reference to one of the songs that was inspiration to her character creation (Vivziepop said she was inspired by 'Hello Dolly!' And made some old drawings with her next to lyrics of 'Hello Dolly!' songs. The song referenced here is probably, 'Just Leave Everything To Me').
-Sera: Is it bad the only thing that grabbed my attention about her is the hint of another character existing? I thought SHE was the Speaker of God. If not that does make me curious about a thing (it probably won't happen but it is a neat concept I can use for fanfics and headcanons until proven false).
-Mimzy: I love Mimzy and don't doubt she's talented...But I think she was a background actress or dancer or something because her need for attention (and troublemaking AND attitude) probably makes people not want to work too much with her. Even in comparison with other divas at the time. Though, it is impressive she owns her own business despite it all! I'm curious if that Radio special was either made specifically for Mimzy as a gift or if Alastor was making a radio special when he was alive, needed a singer, happened to know Mimzy a bit from the club, and they became closer while working on it. I also agree, she needs to be in more future episodes!
-Vox: My lord...This man and Alastor are both so egotistical, no wonder they're in the entertainment industry. And again, people with power don't constantly repeat that they're the most powerful (Not just Alastor but Zestial could also probably beat him). Surprised by the actor part, but it makes sense if his Pitch Bible backstory is still accurate: A lot of cult leaders began their insanity when they failed as entertainers (specifically acting or singing).
-Valentino: When it says "Shooting up the night" does it mean that in like a literal way (He likes shooting people), in a drug way, or in a filming way? All of the above, maybe?? Interesting, that he lazily adds Vox too. Maybe he's being sassy but you'd think he would do that with Velvette not the guy he depends on for equipment for his job.
Velvette: I love that it looks like a Twitter or Insta bio. Curious if she actually uses 'spells' or if it's just a sales tactic. Either way, she's still my favorite Vee.
[Longest one this time was Mimzy I think, which is fitting. Emily's my favorite angel but her bio is just a repeat of what we already knew about her.]
#hazbin hotel#playbill#first thoughts#mimzy#hh#Vox#hazbin velvette#valentino#the vees#carmilla carmine#rosie#sera
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The Eclipse team!
Myrvin McGrove a star mage apprentice and next in line for fox protector of the local forest.
Jaxie Richard a knight in training who also works really hard to have a social life
Lemon âLemyâ Blixt a lemon orchard farmer who is very tired and is the life that gives you lemons
Charlotte Richard, a sneaky rogue of the land and also Jaxieâs sister!!! Family dinners are a bit tense
And now things Iâve changed for the design and whyyyyyy and how it fits in the storrryyyyyyyyyyyyy
First off! I had no desire to draw these characters for a while which told me that I needed to change some things to make them exciting to draw again.
Now originally this story was set in a modern world and the characters were placed into a fantasy world. I apparently donât like modern settings for my stories so full on fantasy we go! Iâm also a SUCKER for fantasy give me full control of the world to sandbox in
Because of this some designs were changed.
I changed Myrvins deer mask to fox because I feel like itâs a better insight into this guys character and there is a fox constellation! I also already have a deer character in my other story Opal Reapers and I didnât want repeats
And due to my experiences with (hopefully temporary) vision loss I wanted to change a bit on how Myrvins vision loss worked. Such as having a short white ID cane thatâs great to help with depth perception and having his mask cover 1 eye to make things easier for him. I did change his scar to be more star shape and his cape to look like that of a fox!
Now Jaxie, jaxie has been the one name from when these guys were septic ego OCs that kept the name so I also switched it and put an x in there. X marks the spot for Myrvins affection apparently and also probleeeemmmsss. He needs a break! đđđ went for more knight armor but kept some elements from his previous design such as ginger hair and his double lit candle tattoo. And the red hoodie that is his STAPLE
LEMY!!!!!! I love Lemy. So I never shared this character but they were suppose to be a guide for Myrvin in the original fantasy world. But now they donât need that and I still wanted a reference to the original title dealing with orchard. But we already got our red character so yellow it was! Our sour lemon lantern orchard farmer. I designed her hat to look like a straw hat but still be part of her head design I am so happy with it. Also gives scarecrow vibes
AND CHARLOTTE!!!!!!!!! GOD SHES FINALLY BEEN GIVEN TRAITS DEAR STARS. So originally went from being Jaxies brother, to goth sister named Charlie, to now Charlotte problem was that I didnât know what role she played in the story. Sheâs a lesbian mess with a knife I love her. Sheâs a rose both pretty and will slice ya. Big dramatic anime villain vibes for someone who is not a villain. Both Charlotte and Jaxie are trans because I think itâs funny to think that they were told to share as kids and shared everything including their gender and never asked for it back.
The story is still gonna revolve around the Solar and lunar Eclipses drama and poor communication skills and take up Myrvin and Jaxie as there champions as celestial entities DO. Which I shall designâŠ.. eventually
ANYWAY if you made it down here thanks for reading let me know what you think.
#please click on the image for high quality#I LOVE CHARACTER DESIGN#art#my art#artist on tumblr#character design#Starry Orchard#Myrvin#jaxie#Lemy#Charlotte#oc
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Amaiâs Week
I didnât even know until today that Amai had a week, thatâs how hard this game fell off. Anyway, boy do I have some criticisms.
1) We need that many ways to enter a building in a mission? Why? It ends the same no matter what. The mission is still linear.
2) The dialogue in this game is so stiff and not how people talk. Never played a Hitman mission where the target said âIâm going to be here at X time, doing Y thing, blah blah blahâ but Amai is kind enough to specify the times sheâll be serving food. Yeah, itâs kind of intuitive to not exit the classroom and start serving octodogs, the cooking club should know itâll only be at morning, lunch and after school.
3) Amaiâs sabotage events are so silly. I remember jokingly thinking âwhat? are we going to be giving him a pink apron or something?â as a JOKE. And then it HAPPENED, essentially. These characters are meant to be adults LARPing as teenagers but even a teenager has more maturity than âoh, you made an apron I didnât like!â What? Did Ayano draw a swastika on it or another hate symbol? The game refers to it as a âlameâ apron, which implies itâs more likely that Ayano used a bland colour scheme. Iâm sorry, but âI wanted a black apron but you made me a pink one, that offends meâ is not on the same level. And by the way- if Amaiâs food is giving people food poisoning due to Ayanoâs sabotage, why is she still allowed to run the bake sale???
I was genuinely thinking âsurely, itâs more going in this directionâ during the picnic talk. It was. So, what? Amai is supposed to control the insects?
If you sabotage all of Amaiâs events, Senpai should get the sense that sheâs a BAD COOK. Literally all. Her sabotage events are NOT enough to warrant being cut off or rejected.
4) I like how no one in this game questions a giant ass water fountain placed randomly in a room.
5) THE LOVE CONFESSION DOESNâT MAKE AMAI LOOK GOOD, EITHER. Who the FUCK says âyeah, I know Iâve known you for a week, but I was actually pissed at you for mourning your dead friend because⊠what about me???â
OKAY, TO BE FAIR, THAT âMAKE SURE YOU KEEP THAT IN MINDâ LINE FROM AYANO GOES HARD ASF đ„
6) Okay lol I just. I love how funny Kizana is.
I like to imagine Ayano and Senpai are in some Truman Show situation where Info-chan is just hiring all these colourful personalities to rizz Senpai to create the craziest situations ever. Like Ayano is just some institutionalised person who was dragged out by a studio to be exploited in her dire mental state. Canât wait to get Kizana in 2025 and Oka in 2026.
Look Iâm an Amai defender but spitting in someoneâs food is VILE. The reason I donât go to⊠letâs call it OldRonalds is because three employees spat in my food. I had three occasions. Yeah, wasnât risking a fourth. AND ITâS IMPLIED SHE DID THIS SEVERAL TIMES. That is NASTY.
7) Yeah I definitely talk to myself when cooking. Thatâs totally normal.
8) SHE TELEPORTS IMMEDIATELY TO THE FLOOR. ALSO HOW WOULD NO ONE HEAR THAT???
9) A small pet peeve of mine over the years is the line âoh my god! is that a dead body?â when talking about their classmates. Akademi is a small school, where everyone should know each other. Maybe- like âOh my god! [characterâs surname, because itâs Japan, or whatever their nickname is considering Akademi has nicknames]? A-are you okay? I need to get help!â
10) Ben Shoku-ro asks us to essentially stalk Amai. Very normal. See, this is why I headcanon that Akademi is just a mental institution disguised as some⊠high school LARP. A very ineffective one, too.
11) I like how everyone has the exact same criticism with the exact same wording towards Amaiâs cooking.
12) âYou shoot 100% of the takes you donât missâ is such a funny quote. No shit Sherlock.
13) âjuvenile delinquentâ arenât they 18? Câmon, if youâre gonna use the âtheyâre actually 18â excuse, be consistent about it.
14) Welcome to Writing 101. In Inkyu and Sakyuâs conversation on Friday, the pink one (Inkyu, I believe) says âhowever?â While Inkyu is gathering her thoughts. It doesnât add tension to the scene, theyâre talking about fucking studying. It happens twice, actually. Itâs awkward and drags on too long. Iâm a writer, not a programmer, but surely there has to be a way to make the dialogue end faster?
Also Horuda canonically drawing kill art is real asf. She is not okay in the head and is expressing her emotions to avoid doing something dangerous. This is what we call showing, not telling. This is something this game struggles at.
15) Wait, Kyuji stalking Osana is a bounty? What if the player match made them? Is the game seriously gonna punish you for doing the pacifist route?
16) Why can Toga walk on bushes???
Okay if Senpaiâs new personality is himbo than I kinda fw him.
HELP DID YANDEREDEV FORGET TOGA WASNâT A CREEP SO HAD TO RETCON IT?? Same with Horo, though I think Horo being weird was inferred by the demon Easter egg.
17) Also, another general criticism, but the dialogue in this game is so wonky. Instead of âHey, blah blah, did you know blah blah dislikes gossip?â It could be âHey, blah blah, X said to me gossipers were all evil people. Ridiculous, right? Who doesnât gossip from time to time? Guess thatâs what Iâm doingâ or something shorter than that. And things like money and violence shouldnât even be discussable topics. Iâm sorry but âHey, Horuda Umetsu, did you know Amai Odayaka dislikes violenceâ would receive an âokay? donât we all?â IRL. Like even though Horuda is prone to violence no oneâs going around shaming people for disliking it WTF.
(Edit: Btw, before Amai came out, I made my own version of Amaiâs week a year ago, along with the other rivals, but honestly? They suck. Iâll add them anyway, if you wanna check them out, but I got lazy halfway through and began half assing stuff: Amai, Kizana, Oka, Asu, Muja, Mida, Osoro, Hanako, Megami. Iâm not saying these are better than the game. The way I characterised Kizana, for example? Canon Kizana is much better. The writing on these posts were somehow cringier than the actual writing. Why share it then? Dunno. I like humiliating myself? Oddly, I got a lot of nice DMâs from people about them at the time. I also made a shitty AU.) (I have more posts over there, like a mission mode concept ending) (also, it was only a year ago, but I feel like my writing has improved a ton since then)
Addendum: Not sure if I gave the impression I support YandereDev. I donât.
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Orokapi in Chapter 52 reminded me of something:
Names.
The topic of names when it comes to bodysnatchers is very important to me, as many of my favorite characters fall into that category. Some body snatchers draw a clear line that they are not their body, some others become their body. Orokapi seems to blur this line.
This excuses characters like Hikaru, who lives on pretending to be Hikaru, thus taking on his name,
But includes characters like Kenjaku or Void Archives that are mistakenly referred to using the names of the body of the host despite them stating they donât align with that identity.
Kenjaku switches bodies for a purpose. She doesnât care to upkeep her own identity. If she wants to see something that amuses her, she will go to any length to see it. This includes letting go of any identity she might have had before becoming someone else. It includes letting go of her connections to the world. It includes relinquishing morality.
Man is a moral animal, yet, she forfeits that natural order for the sake of nothing more than the fun of it. Thatâs her driving force: if it amuses her, she must obtain it. Let me stop here before this turns into a Kenjaku character analysis.
Void Archives is different. The identity of Otto Apocalypse does not belong to them, nor do they want it. They resent him; they hate him. They wear what was once his body, nothing more, covering his face with a mask of their own making so they may not see him in their reflection. So others may not look at them and see him. Void Archives is Void Archives, no matter what apocalyptic traits bleed into them, yet so many perceive them as someone they are not.
This misconception in which bodysnatchers are mistakenly referred to by the name of their host, or even perceived as such when theyâre not actively seeking to live under their name, is usually due to the reveal of their identity being later in the story, despite their appearance being distinctly different, one way or another. This is something Iâve always disliked, so Orokapi has always tormented me with the question of which name is more appropriate to use for him. Let me talk about it:
He adopted the identity of his host, Obikawa Kiyoshi, as a sort of disguise to live amongst humans so he could hide from Alula. The important part to me is that he chose his host specifically because he liked the name of it.
It didnât seem like Orokapi made much effort to mimic the behavior of his host. He was and still is friendly, energetic, overwhelmingly familiar as opposed to the harsh and distant persona his vessel had.
Tokinaga met Obikawa Kiyoshi, then he met âObikawa Kiyoshiâ, then finally encountered Orokapi. Though he had only gotten a brief glimpse into Obikawa Kiyoshiâs life, he accompanied Orokapi through the entirety of his life as the human called âObikawa Kiyoshiâ.
Once his identity as a God was revealed, heâs mostly called by his real name, Orokapi, when the big shots are speaking of him. It seems that no one sees him as âObikawa Kiyoshiâ any longer. No one, other than perhaps Tokinaga whom, despite the betrayal, still sees him as his friend. Orokapi, to them, is a potential threat as well as a potential ally, or more accurately, a weapon.
This drives me to remember this important moment:
He states heâd like to teach his name to Tokinaga, which is the last pointer I needed to reach my conclusion:
It would be more appropriate for me to use the name of Orokapi when talking about him, rather than that of Obikawa Kiyoshi, but itâs not wrong to call him that either. He had become Obikawa Kiyoshi, but he was still Orokapi.
#after god#obikawa kiyoshi#orokapi#rajatalk#kenjaku#void archives#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#hi3#honkai impact 3rd
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Hello! I just did yet another reread of your comic, so here's a list of random things I love about it!! Sorry if this is a bit uuuhhhh MUCH but I just love your comic a lot, and want to share some of that love, and this seemed like the best way to go about that. So:
-The way Azazel's wings are so fluffy and Jophiel's are so sleek! Your stylization of them is so pretty.
-How you draw Azazel's hands always folded as if in prayer, or fiddling...even though the rest of him is often so still. Very true to Aziraphale, of course, but also fitting of an owl - still and always observing. But still, something that betrays that vigilance.
-Jophiel's honest-to-someone mullet in Mesopotamia. I love him so much. His little curls give me life.
-How Jophiel is always moving, angling his head in funny ways, pulling absurd expressions! He's so fun and mobile, which is just perfect to contrast our very sad and stationary owl.
-just a second being overwhelmed again at the fact that Azazel risked and gave up everything for Jophiel and continues to do so after Falling for him I'm fine I'm fine I'm fine this is fine.
-The way they are so in character in this!! I love reverse AUs but it's very hard to keep them in character in them. You do so flawlessly, to the point that as I find myself trying to imagine future story beats, I struggle to because I just see them acting the way they do in the canon. Stellar writing.
-Jophiel's wink in Mesopotamia. This deserves its own point in this list. As does Azazel finally getting to look happy in the frame after, even if it doesn't last...oh sweet owl...
-Azazel tugging on Jophiel's abaya in Golgatha...completely unnecessary to get his attention, didn't need to pull him closer or anything, but it's like the fiddling of his hands wasn't soothing enough and he needed to reach out in this moment of fear for Jophiel, always asking questions.
-The return of Jophiel's mullet in Heaven! Hell yeah
-help you draw Muriel SO cute.
-Azazel's "I've personally witnessed an Angel become an owl" PLEASE it's so devastating yet so funny
-Every time we get a little frame of just Jophiel's eyes reacting with sorrow and anger at moments when it's so, so clear Azazel was never meant to Fall. His eyes are SO expressive. I don't think your future sunglasses are gonna hide the fact that you're constantly glaring at god my guy.
-I really love the way you draw Jophiel's nose, it's gorgeous!
-Jophiel. Calls. Him. Angel. Need to lie down
-Seriously, I should've anticipated it, and I didn't, that's on me, but my HEART was not READY and I'm obsessed with this scene and its implications. The way Jophiel, deep down, doesn't even see Azazel as a demon ("you were an angel once" "that was a long time ago"). How pleased and adorable Azazel is at being referred to thusly (the little hair poofs!!!). The care they have long held for each other, in its unique and strange manifestations, revealing itself as a tangible burgeoning affection.
-Jophiel's declaration on the most recent page to protect Azazel, having no freaking clue that he's frankly 4500 years late to the game. Glad to have you here, your demon friend has been protecting YOU since before time was invented! Woo...but seriously, such a powerful and touching moment all around.
Anyway, I know this is ridiculously long, but goodness knows long comments on my GO fics always make ME very happy, so I figured you wouldn't mind. ;) I eagerly anticipate every update and bit of art, and when you make this comic into physical form, I will be camping out front of the pre-orders like it's a Black Friday sale. Tent and all. And snacks.
Take care!
đ„čđ„čđđ THANK YOU!!! This is super super sweet thank you for taking ur time to do this!!! I think Iâd create the first physical copy when we finish season one of the show in the story, and then if interest is still high, a second physical copy for when we tackle season 2!
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guide to surlis sonas
aka an excuse to Poast Images and drone on because I love to do that!
current main sona I think and closest to a truesona: this otter guy who remains unnamed because all the names that are my name have already been used at this point LMAO
art by nepeteaa and by me! I'd honestly draw him more often if he weren't hard to draw? surli was easy because. Fox. (and Generic Thin whereas my body type is, while still pretty thin, specific in a way that's hard for me to draw) and honestly I enjoy drawing him more oTL.... otters are super hard to stylize cutely + in a way that looks Like Me... surli does not look Like Me teebeehaiche
surli fennec surlifen main sona of the past and still like... kind of me it's complicated
imbages by jilf and vhsdruid
i kinda ended up disconnecting from his Design as a Whole and the alt palette didn't really fix it but nonetheless he's never leaving my possession. it's weird cause my brain can really only connect fully to one character per Thing/Setting as a Sona who is Me so ever since splitting off into otter I don't feel FULLY connected to either the way I once did to surli :( but I am experimenting with having multiple sonas and maybe ill try that thing people do where they also do sonas for different Aspects of themselves so I don't just have an army of Normal Nice Blonds
pokesona: liam
art by me, cicadaghost, me
not much 2 say he is me pokemonned! he's much Smaller Cuter than I am and I really enjoy his simple design + imagining him in the pokemon world :3 like what berries he'd like best and what specific cities/landmarks he hangs out at... hiking in ilex forest and visiting the national park yk
lee: bunny....sona....?
art by me, purrker
he was a bit of an experiment in "CAN I have more than one fursona?" and also "CAN I make a sona who isn't Exactly Like Me?" i've always seen people whose sonas have Supernatural Elements and been like how can you do that. I respect it so much but if EYE am a normal human person how can I connect to something with strange abilities and qualities. and I still couldn't go so far as like... my friend whose sona is an honest to god several stories tall kaiju with a backstory and shit, but lee has supernatural luck and a connection to/control of storms/lightning because that's sick and awesome and cool. and also glows and has cool antlers when he wants. he's not as me as the others but he's there and he's not... NOT me?
fucking... willie dustice, silver city "self-insert" joke guy
unfortunately I DO love his stupid ass. you know how sometimes in a comic or animated show there'll be some obscure reference to one of the creators or someone on the team like as a gag that goes over most people's heads well he's supposed to be that. his appearance is me at my worst (needs haircut + shave) and he has the OP superpower of putting people in pocket dimensions of altered reality he controls entirely but he ONLY uses it to make stupid filler bottle episodes like They All Have To Play Softball or Beach Episode or whatever. represents my oft-abused ability as a creator to Put Those Guys in a Situation. he's not so much a sona (cause if I made a silver city sona it would be genuine not this greasy freak) but he sure is Representative of Me.
horse: horse
i was challenged to make a horsesona. I don't plan to do anything with him but kept him around because I liked his design. someday I might make a more natural horse sona for in case I ever joined some kind of equine rp setting or some shit equivalent but for now my sparklehorse
spinxynsona: coast
art by capricorne, me, me
coasty woasty... made for the nephfei world for the spinxyn closed species. first closed species sona ive ever had and i think hes neat! nephfei is such a well designed world that is really conducive to stories and characters influencing each other's arcs but coast is just some guy he's just there. he just lives there and minds his own business. (he has no gifts or curses so nothing really requiring a Story) but maybe i should get him some Friends at least maybe i can have a sona who has Story OC Friends from other people and still be like yes thats me if i was friends with everybody's ocs
dnd character who was based on me: august
art by me, thembodino
it was suggested since I have a very hard time being In Character (i get so self conscious) that I start with a character similar to myself! so august is incredibly Just Me FR. if i were to go on an adventure i would be bad at it and terrified. his campaign is suspended due to Life but i accidentally, due to knowing nothing, picked a pretty OP blend of stats that has made him bizarrely competent (not like. the best in the party or anything but he really can hold his own and once like critted twice and turned invisible and flew and killed a dragon) and honestly that's hilarious and I like it for him
that's it! the rest of my characters are just characters not sonas though I still love them dearly, some of them even more than some of my sonas i won't name names though ty if you made it this far. i love to Talk
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Lore Olympus Episode 254 Spoilers
So, Apollo succesfully poisoned Zeus and, through a series of extremely convenient coincidences, has managed to get Eros and Psyche, the only two deities who know it was him, out of the way for now.
Does he...
A) ...keep away from the scene of the crime, so as to not be associated or draw suspicion onto himself
B) ...pretend to not know what Zeus is afflicted with and call emergency services together with Hebe to feign being a worried son so that he's less likely to be suspected by the authorities
or C) ...unecessarily frame someone else with no solid evidence whatsoever and call not medical services or the police, but the media, in the process getting as many eyes on him as possible which is the last thing a murderer should want?
If you picked anything other than C), congratulations.
Not only do you still have some good faith left for this comic, you're also a better writer than RS. (Not that the last one is a high bar to cross.)
So Apollo wants to frame someone else for his crime. Well luckily for him, there is already an established deity among the cast who doesn't get along with Zeus, has expressed the desire to overthrow him multiple times and is known for having a bad temper as well as having a grudge against hi-
It's Hebe.
He chooses to frame Hebe.
You know, one of the few gods on Olympus who has absolutely no reason to want Zeus dead and gone.
Just... why?
Ares was right fucking there!
If you absolutely needed to frame someone (which, just as a side note, you absolutely didn't) why not choose the war deity who everyone knows gets regularly banished to the Mortal Relam because of how much he doesn't get along with Zeus???
I mean, the best explanation I can think of is that this is supposed to reference how Hebe lost her position as cupbearer of the gods because of Apollo in one version of the myths, but if that is the case... wow, that's an extremely contrived and clumsy way to incorporate that into LO.
So, Persephone's deal with Erebus somehow altered her powers and now she can no longer make plants grow and only causes cold and decay whenever she tries.
And the winter that was essentially Demeter's power play in the original myth is now not only given to Persie but made into a terrible consequence of wanting power for herself. To save everybody she loved, might I add.
So empowering.
So feminist.
And as always when Persie screws up, she does what she does best:
Cry foul and beg someone else to fix it, then throw a tantrum when said someone else actually does try just that.
RS really misses no chance to try and villainize Demeter. Even if Demeter is absolutely, completely, undeniably in the right, she always has to be the eeevil mother-in-law making Hades feel bad.
And that's no different here.
Demeter is right, this is Hades' fault.
If he'd kept his damn mouth shut about the pomegranates or at least elaborated on the price one has to pay to get the Underworld's power, maybe his noveau riche wife wouldn't currently be killing all life in the Mortal Realm.
And the way he doesn't even try to dissuade Persie from "helping" and just watches as she keeps making everything worse because "lulz, I'm not gonna be a controlling husband and stop my wife from killing people".
But hey, this is the same guy who rewarded Persie with sex for breaking and entering and making death threats against a nymph. At least we're keeping it in-character. /s
Oh look, Persie has conveniently passed out from the strain so she won't have to deal with the direct consequences of her actions.
Wonder what kind of deus ex machina will absolve her of all responsibility this time.
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Hi! Can I ask a question?
How do you deal with posing your drawings?
I wanted to get back into drawing, but I struggle so much with poses, and I find your drawings so dynamic.
:OO!!!
Oh my god! For some reason I keep being surprised that im an artist?? I HOPE I CAN GIVE YOU GOOD ADVICE FANG! Thank you for asking!!
What I tell myself when I begin thinking about what im gonna draw this time, is "i need something happening in this art", my mind goes to, for instance, "autumn themed...snuggling, warmth, cuddles" so i try to transform this into a specific action instead, if they're snuggled maybe "let's make mc hold a mug, omg maybe it can hide her mouth as she's lifting it to her lips to take a sip" and my next thought that just came to me right now is "or maybe napoleon stealing the mug and mc making a surprised/angry expression at him" - which is close to that dynamic you're looking for, I hope! this was my thought process #1 showcased in action... now, if your imagination doesn't happen to work today, your second best option is to get inspired from elsewhere - my go-to account for pose references is kamitokatachi on twitter!
(i forgot the username and. i follow 1600 people on there. i went to my gallery to find one of their pics i saved so i could reverse search it. i suddenly remembered that i wanted to see on which date last year i put up the xmas decorations at home, so while i was already there... i started stopping at nearly every photo along the way in my gallery. then a song came up on my playlist that i havent heard in ages and i just had to stop and listen and.... 20 minutes later i found the username! I still wonder why i dont just keep a note with it somewhere. This happens every time i start drawing, fang. save me, fang)
Dynamic poses are pain in the ass, so dont be afraid to look at references, otherwise you'll piss yourself off and it would lead to nowhere. look at other art (twitter artists, pinterest, zerochan, even google might do the trick...) until you find that one where the character is facing the exact way you want yours to face - remember to only take small details from there and there and twist them into something original and yours. for me this happens naturally because as much as i try to duplicate a pose, i never do it right and it becomes a whole another pose HAHAH
if you want something simple but still dynamic, like a character standing prettily but not like, just standing, think about it like a movie scene where the director really wanted to make them look nonchalantly sexy while going through their day, and you have to pause at one frame, and that movie still is your drawing!
anyway, that's how my brain works! hope it was helpful!
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Talk to me about BtOM and/or its sequel? I've seen some of the webcomic and would love to know more
Hooo boy! Thank you so much for your interest! This is going to be a long post! BtoM is my original webcomic, set in the Aztec empire in the 15th century, before the arrival of the Spaniards. It's not trying to be historically accurate but I did quite a lot of research at the time to get cultural stuff and place settings right. It features, as main characters, Metztlitototl, a boy who fell from the sky; Mictlantecuhtli, god of death; Tezcatlipoca, god of, heh, a shitload of things LOL, and his highpriest Itztli, a human. They try to navigate their feelings for each other while finding out where Metz came from. It's a gay love fantasy drama. (while I and the characters often refer to Metz as a "boy", he is not underage) I came up with the basic story idea over twenty years ago and developed it over the years (with the help of a writer who is not part of it any more) into a fully fleshed out story. At the moment it spans six full chapters with about 30-40 pages each; the seventh and last chapter is still unfinished. I have taken huge breaks over the years, coming back to it again and again. I have always promised that I will one day finish it and I still intend to keep that promise. The shutdown of smackjeeves had me loose my main platform for hosting the comic and while I have plans to make my own website, at the moment it's hard to direct people to where to read it easily. That's why I set up a new tumblr for it, but editing all the pages and making the posts is also a huge effort I struggle with. (So sorry!!! I will try and be better!)
It's hard to share stuff because it's a comic script, not a novel, but I'd like to share something from chapter seven, Mic and Itztli trying to figure out who or what Metz actually is-
Itztli is sleepless, he roams the temple grounds restlessly, deep circles under his eyes. He coughs violently and spits but doesn't see the blood mixed with his spit. At dawn he comes upon a secluded area where a fire must have been burning not long ago, a qualming brazier and lots of footprints make him curious. He inspects the scene and finds almost but not completely erased drawings in the earth, depicting... Metztlitototl? What is the meaning of this? Is that... the boy? "It is as I thought." Itztli whirls around at the voice, and Mic stands before him (not the skeleton, but the "nice" Mic). Itztli squats down immediately, heart pounding. "Lord of Mictlan." Mic ignores him. He looks around, sees traces of burnt incense, and even a feather of a bird, hinting at a blood sacrifice. Without looking at Itztli, still studying the area, he says: "Tell me about the night you found him."
The sequel is a very indulgent PWP that has them figuring out their feelings even more and basically all four of them end up in a polyamorous relationship haha. It was my pleasure project to write when the mood struck and has reached the same length as the main story document (oops LOL)
My favourite is not the main character Metz but Itztli, my precious poor boy who'd do anything for his capricious master. He's probably the reason the sequel exists because they needed more space to flourish <3
The main characters, Metz and Mic, are soft and lovely and I love them to bits but they are also, well, easy. Also, Mic is obviously inspired by Dream. My teenage self had a type (and still has). xD
Feel free to ask me more detailed questions! I will endeavour to post more comic pages soon!
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Hey! I've seen all your posts about how Greek gods and characters in mythology should be depicted more like, you know, Greek people, and l just wanted to ask if you think the Trojans would look Greek too :) love your posts btw
Hello! đIt's important to remember that the large majority of ancient Greeks didn't have a good idea of how people from far regions looked. The further back in history you go, the less they are exposed to other peoples. This is to preface that Greeks' references for foreigners were limited. And if someone was to be very different from the average Greek, they got their own special description in the narrative. (Like the warrior Memnon.)
Of course, Troy/Ilion was very close to Greek areas in terms of latitude. There is almost no difference in geographical latitude, and the people of this area looked like Greeks anyway. It's the distance from the equator that makes people lighter or darker. But when they are the same distance from the equator they evolve similarly in skin tone over thousands of years because they have the same needs for sunlight. Trojans were so close to Greeks that the mixing with other peoples would have been similar. More Eastern peoples might have found their way easier to Ilion than to Greek areas, so there would a difference lie. But due to traveling distances, it wouldn't be very notable, I think, more so if these eastern areas were at the same latitude
But still, the Greeks didn't have much exposure to foreigners, and traveling to Ilion was a feat. From Argos to Ilion it's almost 1.000 kms and it would take 10 months to arrive there by land. Traveling by ship is faster but still not exactly easy, considering the travel to Ilion with the Greek ships was still a daring expedition for their time.
So it's logical to assume that the Greeks drew inspiration from their own people when making these foreign characters. In the text the Trojans are not differentiated in looks and some even have descriptions that show they were fair (whatever our ancients considered fair anyways). They share the customs and pantheon of the Greeks, albeit not being Greeks. Trojans and Greeks understand each other without translators, although their tribes would speak different languages historically. Paris' name is "Alexandros" ffs đThis shows that the Greeks didn't have a good picture of Trojan (probably Hittite) culture and they didn't wish to delve that deep. It was just a story about a war with "the foreign peoples over there".
Drawing from native culture and appearances when depicting foreigners of other lands has been the go-to for people of old times. It's shown in the text and also in the ancient/medieval art of the native culture. The Persians and the Chinese making tales come to mind but I also imagine that if an ancient Yoruba tribe were to tell a tale of "a very beautiful prince from a faraway northern land" they would depict him as one of their own, and not like a north Egyptian or like an "white" Italian. It comes down to what nations the natives have been exposed the most. If this figure had been established through millennia looking like a native, I'd go by that when depicting them.
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