#i still love this podcast but i just dont really feel like posting about it anymore?🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️ i feel like a lot of u migjt agree

[daphnalia]

found this in my drafts from march 2023, are the dndadders still alive

[kaceythecrunch]

RANT. (sturntok.)

Yall. Im so mad. Sturntok pisses me the fuck off to the point it isn't even funny anymore. This might be messy, so bare with me.

Tara. Why the fuck is everyone pressed about Tara hanging out with the triplet, specifically matt and Chris. Yall are acting as if it was only two of them, like they're on a date. They were with fucking I don't know, 8 other people? Like why does Sturntok care who they hangout with? Did you not learn from elementary school to mind your bees wax, or business? You're probably 15. They're literally 5 years older than you. There is no way, in any universe they're gonna date you girl. ALSO TO SHIT ON TARA?? LIKE GIRL. FIND SOMEONE ELSE TO SHIT ON CUZ HOMEGIRL DONT CARE. SHE DONT CARE. SHE IS STRIVING AND LIVING LIFE LIKE YOU SHOULD GIRL. Live life and don't care. You'll probably have a positive outcome. No cuz y'all know how Chris owns the Saturn necklace thing? Its vivienne underwood. It's less than 20 bucks on Amazon. Also when was the last time y'all saw Chris wearing that necklace girl. Also there's a post from like months, or I think a year ago of Tara wearing the same necklace. These fucking tiktok girls are so annoying. Like we get it, everyone wants to be Tara. (she's my gf.)

Podcast. I saw a bunch of btiches shit on the podcast. Like cmon. THEY ARE PRODUCING AN HOUR LONG VIDEO FOR YALL EVERY WEEK. Mfs are burnt out, you're lucky that they even produce content for you ungreatful hoes. Like lwk, I'd rather have them remove Wednesday videos. I remember when they first started their podcast that they were really excited to start and stuff. I also remember, I believe it was their earlier vlogs. When they were still living in Boston and they haven't like went to LA yet, they were talking about turning their basement into a podcast room. Like cmon. This is something they've been wanting to do and you hoes just don't appreciate anything. Like have y'all's mama's not been pissed at y'all for not appreciating her food. Live life positive and not negative tf. But ofc, I respect their decision.

Intro. Yall just love to shit on everyone. Ruining the party. Sturntok reminds me of the kids-the class "clowns" who would be so shitty to the teacher for no reason and would ruin fun things for everyone. Like guys, I think we should all as a community bully Sturntok. It requires a bit more bullying, just to knock some sense into their heads. Anyways, back to what I was ranting about. I loved their new intro. its a new era. A new them. Change. Is. Fucking. hard. I understand that you love the teens from Boston running around making fools of themselves. Me too, I shall admit it. But in order to get sponsorships, to get the little paring things. (For example, them sponsoring Celsius, even becoming the youtooz thing.) Like they gotta act more professional.

Change. This tied in with the last few things. CHANGE IS HARD. CHANGE IS A DIFFICULT THING. But how the fuck are you gonna live life, and enjoy life when your stuck on one thing forever. Change is needed for growth, and for learning. Like guys, THEYRE 20. I think that's something y'all forget. They aren't teenagers anymore. Its kinda like how when everyone went into middle school and started to not like kiddy things when you still liked kiddy things. When I was in middle school I still like to play with Legos, draw, watch anime. Until I hit 7th grade, aka everyone's downfall. I still enjoy some of those things today but I changed because people in middle school stopped like those things and its embarrassing (well for me at least) to show up in school with anime shirts cuz I'm getting older. Thats what they're feeling I guess. Again, theyre 20 now.

Crazy ass mfs. Crazy, as in them soft mf's on sturntok. Also what pisses me off more is that they're coming here on tumblr. Like no, I know your soft ass belongs on Wattpad bffr. I have a long rant about this one, so bare with me again. They are so so so so so SOOOOO sensitive about the "spicy edits." Sometimes the fucking video frame isn't even about something "spicy" aka- them being shirtless, video frame near their crotch. It was when there was a song about sex. How soft can you be. Most songs these days are about sex. Some songs y'all probably didn't know about was about sex. (cake by the ocean for example.) LIKE LETS ME FOR REAL. MOST SONGS ARE ABOUT SEX. Also with the tiktok audios being removed like cmon. Not everything is about sunshine and rainbows. I remember I commented on a Chris edit and I was like.

"I need this man in my life. He's so hot."

"you're fucking gross. He's a human being and do you know how grossed out he would be if he saw that you said this? (bullshitbullshit,morebullshitandstupidness.)"

Yeah, keeping fucking running your mouth. THIS TIKTOK HAS LIKE 4K VIEWS. DO YOU WANNA KNOW HOW MUCH FUCKING FOLLOWERS THE TRIPLETS HAVE? YEAH. THAT'S NOT EVEN A QUARTER OF WHAT THEY HAVE. THIS VIDEO HAS 1K COMMENTS. ARE THEY FUCKING HUNTING ME DOWN?? MY COMMENT HAS 3 LIKES. WHY WOULD THEY CARE TO FUCKING CHECK GIRL. ITS ALSO TELLING THE FUCKING PERSON WHO EDITED THIS THAT THIS EDIT WAS FIRE AND THAT THEY MADE THE EDIT HELLA GOOD. UR FUCKING LUCKY I KEPT MY ANGER TO MYSELF CUZ OH GIRL. I WOULD SUCKER PUNCH YOU. You know whats also funny? They're the same people who will be pissed with when they see matt or Chris with a female. Like girl. You're calling me fucking gross? Do you think how much more worse that is than my comment? You ruin friendships. OG sturniolo fans know that they've been friends with girls. If you genuinely care, yall would know that nick made most of matt and chris' friends. Meaning most of them were females. SO OBVIOUSLY THEYRE GONNA HAVE GIRL FRIENDS. I remember watching the Zach sang pod when nick was on and he explained that matt usually doesn't make the friends. Theres a joke where matt says "I'm gonna make a friend that wasn't originally nick's friends." smth like that. Anyways, off topic. Just because they are seen with a girl, doesn't mean they are fucking dating them. Like shut the fuck up. please. Respectfully shut the fuck because I'm a nice person. Also Chris gives off major virgin vibes lets bffr.

Madi. Yall hate so bad on Madi and its fucking grossing me out. Why do you have to ship her with matt and chris??? Literally to the point they can't even put her in photo dumps or videos. You just gotta ruin it for everyone, huh? shes fucking gorgeous, and she's so funny in videos. Plus, when she does talk shes hillarious. She literally reminds me of Matt. She doesn't fucking talk much because she is more of a listener.. Like guys bffr. How can you hate her when she barley spoke in videos. Like respectfully, shut the fuck up. Yall just jealous shes pretty.

Calling Nick fine. I also hate them mfs who are always running their mouth about girls calling Nick fine. Lets bffr. Y'all didn't think a gay guy is fine? I'm sure you've had a crush on one gay person before. And if you haven't trust me. You will. I had a crush on my gay friend in 8th grade. I feel like its a canon even in every girl's life. anyways, I hate when girls will be scared to call nick hot.

"Nick is so fine. But like as a cool guy friend way. Please don't attack me."

POOR GIRL BELIEVES SHE IS GONNA BE ATTACKED IF SHE CALLS A GAY MAN FINE. Sturntok leave her the fuck alone. He's hot as fucking and I will kill civilians if I'm not given more nick edits. He's so fine. Literally the hottest triplet.

If u made it here thanks. There was shit on my chest that I really needed to let out. What have we learned today?

Sturntok can suck my fucking dick.

Thanks goodbye.

Me to Sturntok :

[casual-socks]

HI IVE BEEN MASSIVELY HYPERFIXATED ON TMA FOR ABOUT A YEAR AND IVE SEEN MAYBE ONE (1) SINGULAR PERSON TALK ABOUT THIS and i am not even kidding when i say its been a passionate topic of conversation for that entire year. people know me for this. it comes up and my entire friend group SIGHS AUDIBLY because they know the 20 minute tangent i Will be taking

WHATTTTT IS GOING ON WITH GERARD KEAYS NAME. what. what???? okay i

youre telling me jonathan sims went to oxford college (relatively prestigious if my memory serves me correctly) for RESEARCH. for, to put it simply, READING. and he looks at the name gerard and goes Yeah looks like jared to me lets go with that!!! HELLO?? NO?? not even mentioning the fact that he is being what could easily be called possesed when reading these statements which leaves us with two options

1. the ENTIRETY OF ENGLAND CANNOT PRONOUNCE THE NAME GERARD.

2. jonathan sims is so monumentally stupid that he is somehow breaking this possesion for the 2 seconds it takes to say the name gerard (i love him i swear i will sound so so hateful for this entire post but its out of love)

and like??? its not even that EVERYONE is calling him jared? elias and gertrude have both called him gerard and thats just off the top of my head. i also think jon said it correctly ONEEEE SINGULAR TIME. Just the once.

now i feel it necessary to mention jared hopworth here as well. because why, why on gods green earth, would you name a character gerard. pronounce it jared. TURN AROUND AND GO. lets make another jared but this ones made out of meat and is sort of implied to not be too fond of gay people. Yeah he steals peoples bones. Yeah.

SO LIKE GERARD KEAY IS THE OBJECTIVELY SUPERIOR JARED EXCEPT HES NOT JARED HIS NAME IS LITERALLY GERARD?? FUCK YOU SO MUCH

so okay. sure whatever this podcast is sooo british that a bunch of people are just completely failing to pronounce gerard. sure. whatever you say.

GERRY?????? HIS FUCKING NICKNAME IS GERRY???????????? NO!!!!

NO. no. LOOK ME IN MY EYES. LOOK AT THE NAME GERARD. GER-ARD. AND YOURE TELLING ME YOURE GONNA CALL HIM JARED. SND THEN YOURE GONNA CALL HIM GERRY WITH A G???? gerry with a g. that is utterly ridiculous i cannot even believe this that is monumentally frustrating i cannot even begin to describe to you all the anger i have experienced over this particular bit because why on earth would you take that particular extra step??? gerard -> gerry. sure. thin ice, but sure. jared -> jerry. sure! yeah! makes sense! GERARD -> JARED -> GERRY? you must be playing some sick joke jonny sims. seriously. you are a cruel and usual man

now this is when i start to wind down, but far from where i finish. lets take a moment to really pause and soak in his actual name here.

gerard.

that is so unfortunate already i mean really, gerard is such a…. a name…. i mean his mom skins people and puts them in books and the cruelest thing i think she ever couldve done is honest to god name her son gerard.

keay.

now dont get me wrong. theres nothing seriously wrong with spelling it keay on principle. but god, really? youre gonna shove all this gerard gerry jared business in front of me and tell me his last name is just key but gone the extra mile. really feels like the cherry on top of a shit cake.

now if you consider gerards character i truly feel as though thats the deepest disservice here. gerard keay is an incredible character whos short appearance is so memorable and charming, and despite his VERY little screen time he still has an intriguing and well fleshed out character. really, gerard keay is so excellent character wise. But, every time i think about him for any more than 5 minutes, almost this exact rant is being told to whoever is unfortunate enough to be near me at the time.

another thing i think also really adds to this is just the nature of gerard keay. everything you can say about that guy could be ended with “and everone calls him jared for some reason”. hes emo and everyone calls him jared for some reason. his hair dye job is so miserable that EVERYONE mentions it and everyone calls him jared for some reason. he has mommy issues and everyone calls him jared for some reason.

okay i need to wrap this up before i start just repeating WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY for thousands of words but heres a graph i made for my friends in october 2022 when i was going on about this in the middle of my spanish class 👍👍

[pearl-likes-pi]

i honestly dont know hoe to say this, but you really had a hand in shaping my brai chemistry while i was growing up, no kidding. i remember when i was 13 or so and whenever you posted a pearl rap career chapter it would unironicaly make my day (specially when you dropped the peridot chapter i had a stomach infection or smth, so that video and the last one out of beach city episode were on replay for me for a few days). its really weird seeing that rebecca managed to make a safe space for lgbt folks (it was really hard for me to accept myself as gay, it seems really simple nowadays but back then it was so discomforting to even thinm about it so su and its fandom, and by some extent, your vids, helped me externalize some feelings or queernes i guess, do you remeber when someone said your video editing was raw and masculine? lol). anyways, its wild to think i was in 5th grade when i first watched laser light canon and now im finishing my journalism course in college and seeing how this show raised me in some way and helped me to be aware of my own mental health i only have good memories, thankfully, and its really sad to see that it ended, but i honestly wouldnt have had it any other way. its kind of a long rant but id like to thank you, mackenzie, your videos made me laugh a lot when i was a teen and they still make me now. this show was truly a gift, it made us connect to something bigger and magical. this was kind of a long rant since ive kinda forgotten that su existed and remined that it existed because of some dreams lol. i remembered back then when i was super anxious about the cluster episode, i remeber checking your tumblr everyday and seeing fanon content. i really dont know how to express myself since english is not my first language and i tend to ramble on a lot on my native one, but id like to say youve made me smile a lot, it was so cool seeing you present the su podcast and being an intern at CN. i honestly wish you the best.

Dude it means so much to hear that my lil shitposts have had an impact on people!!!! I completely understand where youre coming from re: SU's impact on your life (and acceptance of queer identity) and feel the same way!!! im so grateful for this show and everything it represents. in a world without Steven Universe my current life would be completely unrecognizable. like genuinely I dont think any single aspect of my life would be the way it is without SU. which is nuts but it's true!!!

I love engaging with this community and it gave me a lot of support when I was at a place in my life where I felt pretty isolated. I'm kind of rambling now too but this seriously has been sitting in my inbox for a bit now and I just knew i needed to respond and say thank you for sharing. <3

ALSO LMAO I FORGOT ABT THE RAW AND MASCULINE COMMENT THANK YOU FOR REMINDING ME HAHA

[adviceformefromme]

Hi bestie. I’m having a hard time rn and it’s very embarrassing, I’ve gained a lot of weight and I’m already trying to lose it but it’s just so hard for me. I feel really ugly and recently there was a guy who has been pursuing me this entire year but I was turning him down. we have mutual friends and they were throwing a party, so they were pushing me to go and they were making it seem like he was genuinely interested. Night of the party everything was fun, friendly flirting, but I knew he was still seeing his ex so I mentally decided not to pursue it. He didn’t text me after the party, and it’s making me feel very ugly bc I know I gained weight. So it’s a mix of my ego being hurt since he didn’t try to pursue me afterwards and hurt my feelings too bc now I’m wondering if my friends did that for a laugh. just feeling really down about myself and dont know how to navigate this. any advice? thank you

Hey sweetie, definitely sounds like some self-concept work is required. If this weight gain is really bugging you, you need to get into a space where you feel healthy and confident in how you look. Are you exercising? Are you eating unhealthily? Are you speaking words of love or hate to yourself as you look in the mirror? The self-love journey begins with you. These external situations become a mirror, showing you where you need to do work. Use Sunday's as your re-set, to get organised, to research meals, to plan your exercise schedule, to charge your headphones so you have a motivating podcast to listen to on your hot girl walk. Get into the energy of your highest self. Create a vision board. Remember to dream and take action, your life is never meant to be one of feeling ugly and self-conscious. That is not your purpose, and letting this energy consume you for a moment longer is doing yourself a diservice. Start following positive influences on social media, personal trainers. Right now I am loving the advice of Josh Holt and Shenese Case (videos below). Get into the energy of people that MOTIVATE you, create a plan, pull out your journal, follow the weekly glow-up I am posting. There are resources, but ultimately, YOUR actions are going to dictate the outcomes your future has. More feeling crappy or more getting into hot-girl-ima-need-to-reintroduce-myself energy? The choice is yours.

[holyblanchett]

I have mixed feelings about Aubrey Plaza but that’s a discussion I am keeping off your account for both of our sanities sake :) agreed tho, if Lady Death ever returns, i dont think it’ll be Aubrey, unless we do get aaa s2 somehow.

I also agree with you that the casting of Aubrey and Kathryn and the fact they just both did really damn good with their characters and dynamic is the main reason people are so okay with letting Disney get away with lacklustre representation. Hell, they still somehow get flowers for it as if the homosexual tension all season to lead to a single kiss (if at all) to lead to one of them dying storyline isn’t a tale as old as time. It’s not that revolutionary and it plays into doomed Yuri and bury your gays and its just straight up not enough anymore in this day and age. Especially in this day and age. But i said I wouldn’t get political here.

Overall im super happy Wandavision and now AAA have made me notice and get into Kathryn Hahn, she is such a joy and i do love an unproblematic fave to get into, I am but a simple faggot after all.

But, and this is also about fandom culture overall, I do see a surprising lack of productive discussion on AAAs problems. People were really mad and then everyone just shut up and was fine because the showrunner said something about cottagecore on a podcast(or article i am not looking that up rn lol).

When we could very well be like No Jac, they didn’t actually live in a cottage because you didn’t write that in your script when you might as well could have. Own up to that Queen. It’s not 2015 anymore, if your queer rep sucks then you gotta take accountability. We deserve better. Always have.

I dunno, I dont like queers as a money maker in media, even tho its actually such an interesting topic too, i could go on forever (clearly). Look guys were so woke! Kind of! A little bit! Don’t look too close and by god, be grateful!

Long Story Short, the more Schaefer tries to sell us this lesbian wives love story epos the less I buy it. Still hoping for season 2 but not optimistic thats actually gonna happen.

Remember kids, Big Corp just wants your money, they dont care about your feeling at the end of the day. Do with that what you will.

- 🐇

Thank you for sparing us both the future discourse her fans are insane lmao. At the time, it honestly felt like I was the only one upset after the episode aired. If you followed me during that time -- I apologize, I think my crash out lasted like three days 😭 I still refuse to rewatch the show because of the way Jac/Marvel treated their relationship. It is by far one of the worst things I've seen in a long time. And before people come for me, yeah you can cry in my comments about censoring all you want. Jac literally said the reason there wasn't more Agathario was because she didn't think people would actually care. So if you're easily triggered, I would suggest you skip this post cus I'm not arguing with yall in the comments today.

Now back to your point. The bury your gays trope, particularly involving wlw ships plays into decades of exploitation of the queer community. Also let's be real, it's such a cliché and for someone that had queer writers (allegedly) on the show idkw no one told her how detrimental and insulting it is. I honestly wouldn't have been as upset if Agatha had died any other way. But killing her while she's essentially vulnerable and in the arms of the woman she has so much unresolved conflict/feelings with is just nasty work. Jac knew Agatha was supposed to die from the beginning. Which means she could have written it any other way. Hell, the final battle should have been against the Salem Seven and I stand by this.

There's going to come a time when playing both sides isn't going to work. I can only hope that in the future Marvel gets with the times and puts more care into their queer ships. It's what we deserve and we shouldn't settle for anything less.

[delliebre]

what the f i just stumbled upon ur profile today and i have to say its the most gorgeous art ive ever seen im being serious i am in absolute awe.. i need to have it hanged on my wall omg you are so talented!! if you dont mind could you share a little bit about your art journey/how long youve been actively practising and how you found your style?

Hiii wow thank you!! I had made an art journey post a few months ago but deleted it I think.. but basically I started like how most artists do with paper and stuff. I began as a small child, inspired by my father, wanting to impress him and to overall create things.

I have been actively practicing digital art since 2018 that is when I got a drawing tablet and wanted to seriously improve.

See my instagram acc: nonnydoge. Most of my old works from when I was...12 to now? Idk but I kept some up despite embarrassment. The first ones I did on my phone I loved using Ibispaintx but I started digital art with the sony sketch app.

I have always loved thick-like brushwork in art. But I thought I should not pursue it because I was not very good and pursuing a style before finding footing in fundamentals, I knew, was not how I wanted to stump myself. So I did not focus much on style for years as means to improve. But I felt really bad each time I made high detail, rendered work... despite how silly and stupid that sounds. It was not the look I wanted to create with.

I look up to some artists with high quality, super detailed work, but I do not want to create like that. My favorite painting I have done, it is an acrylic painting I did in like 10 minutes... it is simple.

I am a nerd lol I get emotional looking at some paintings of trees simply because they are painted so well.

I just really love looking at paintings that do not do all the work for me. I love finding it. I love mess.

And yet when I create work that is like that, I still feel really bad. I think others will then think I do not even know how to "render" or detail. But I can... I have done it for years.. and it is my own self-doubts and insecurity that stop me often from just leaving paintings that are messier, that I enjoy the look of... so I end up rendering them further, pushing them into a style that, when it is done and I step back from, I hate.

It is stupid. I feel bad when I create high-detail, sharp work, and I feel bad when I create messier, painterly work... I think then you can understand my hatred for my art every day lol....

It does not help with the things I have been told, either, since creating looser work :/

But anyway. It took maybe 3 years for me to feel a bit happier since starting with ps in 2018 with my improvement. I think my most popular work is from 2021? It is detailed. I do not think it is bad, I just do not, and I know at the time did not, want to draw like that and was upset with myself at the end of it.

2018 - 2021 so 13-16 here

but this is also a 2018 😂:

In checking the profile, you can determine when I started to make "decent" work lol.

In recent years, I have not been "grinding" learning art any much more.. I am just coasting ig even tho ik I shoulddd be practicing more. My friends, like, everyday practice for HOURS in a discord call and wow I don't even like drawing for more than 30 mins☠️ Sometimes I join them but they are just my podcast lol I love them and their art <3

anyway.. I am SO happy that when i was 17 I made this blog because it allowed me to draw and post humans more!

Thank you again!!

I am very thankful for all who have been so kind to me and my art!! I never would have imagined!! I also never would have imagined my absolute favorite digital painters, those who I have looked up to since beginning my journey saw my art and followed me!!!

It is crazy.

Yeah I feel like an absolute shit artist every day LOL but still I do appreciate everyone who is kind to me I am just my biggest hater and doubter.

[irlactualhuman]

I dont post mcyt stuff normally, but I've heard Rendog say a few times now that he's been unlucky in love in the past and is still somewhat looking for a lady.

Let me preface what follows by asserting that I'm not delusional and what follows is merely a fantasy that is absolutely how I feel, but still only just a fantasy. Sadly. But like. If it did happen... who knows?

...I have had the biggest crush on him for so long. omg he's just the sweetest and most caring and also quite a funny guy. He's also super cute.

And like. I watched his episodes on the Imp and Skizz podcast. He's a baddie. A baby girl. Would let eat crackers in bed. Would overcome my misophonia to catch the crumbs.

Anyway. Ugh. He makes me thirsty in a wholesome way that kind of subverts a lot of things I thought about myself. Wild. And really nice.

Okay. Now that that is outta my head, ima go back to wistfully catching up on season 10 on my lunch break.

Haters will be kindly but firmly forwarded to the furnace of my everlasting indifference to suffer until they somehow find love in their cold and broken hearts.

[jerreeeeeee]

i also read the suffering game graphic novel. here's praises and criticisms. this one is also more negatives than positives unfortunately, i tried to be fair and thoughtful but i did not like it very much

things i liked:

-lucretia prologue establishing that she went to wonderland + talking abt missing the crew. fun & mysterious

-hi mavis and mookie :) they are cute

-HI BARRY sometimes i forget he stalked merle’s family outing. i love that freak

-magnus and angus scene!! fisher showing angus the statue drawing!! ango detective subplot!! this is a nice and natural addition since we know he was sleuthing around the BOB

-merle teasing taako about his date is kinda cute actually love seeing them be friends

-thank god they got rid of the chimera. idk if this is a hot take or anything but its probably my least favorite fight in the podcast its so out of place and unnecessary. there are lots of fights that didnt really matter in the beginning like all the gerblins and the slime swamp in rockport but they were still like getting their bearings and the show was more like a real dnd campaign than a typical actual play, but by the time you get to the suffering game there’s more interesting things to do and you're like god why are we still doing random forest encounters just get to wonderland already

-not a positive per se but i’m not that upset about sterling and his party being cut. i feel like an adaptation would’ve had an opportunity to make that little c-plot matter more, and that would’ve been awesome, but as is in the podcast, i never felt particularly strongly about it? not enough to miss it. idk like magnus and merle were already for ‘trust’ even if it were strangers and taako never seems all that regretful about it (which like. fair. he’s the pragmatist and that’s how the prisoner’s dilemma works. he played the game right because he couldn’t afford to lose, knowing they hurt some slightly-less-strangers doesn’t really change that).

-i dont remember which of the boys discovered it in the podcast but merle noticing the smoke thing is good. he actually is competent and especially in an arc that’s meant to make him feel useless that’s a good little reminder

-i do like that the liches say the bell is very powerful & is threatening to destroy them like both keeping in theme with the rest of the relics and an introduction to the idea that sharing an incredible and dangerous power between two people makes it easier to keep your sanity, similar to lichdom

-griffin getting cut off with the hunger is awesome finally we’re taking advantage of the medium. nothing more to say that choice rules

-posts on tumblr hyped me up for taako recognizing barry’s dick but unfortunately that’s not really what happened and now i’m disappointed. but the graphic novels arent canon so i’ll just have to continue with my barry/taako awkward past one night stand agenda despite it all

-i dont quite know how to feel about the umbrastaff leaping to barry to replace the “love barry, trust barry” moment. on the one hand, having lup actually speak to taako wouldn’t work super well in graphic novel form, not to mention the whole band of projected thought thing was kinda convoluted and they are clearly very limited on time, and taako choosing to trust the umbrastaff in this way is a creative way to get that same effect. on the other hand, its so unclear what even happened or why it changes taako’s mind without podcast context. that’s one of my big gripes, you’re expected to be familiar with the story already, but if you’re familiar with the story, the graphic novels are… worse in every way. also, i really really liked the original scene so even though it doesn’t work, i miss it. this isn’t as effective—we don’t find out there’s a person missing from taako’s memory, his heart doesn't swell at the sound of her voice, he doesn’t know with certainty that she’s someone dear to him. it's just like, another instance of the umbrastaff acting weird. maybe you put together that 'LUP' is a person but you don't have any indication until the moment of remembering how important she is. all of that would be really difficult to get across in a visual medium anyway, but still, yknow, it doesn’t hit as hard.

-ango!! his mage hand is coming along so well!! although. why is his wand just like a stick. did he pick it up off the ground. taako needs to take better care of his boy this reflects badly on him as a teacher lmao

-i felt this way about the eleventh hour too but there’s so many little details of taako and merle’s friendship i feel like they have little asides and jokes together a lot and i love that

-the looming dread of the hunger is done pretty well (as well as it can be with such time restraints)

-merle trying to commune with pan and seeing john instead is good. very ominous and intriguing for new readers and exciting for podcast listeners

-really liked the panel of barry in the red robe against the stars and the bond engine’s white ring as he’s remembering. very cool very cinematic

-i actually also really like the framing as taako remembers, filling in the memories we’d seen previously and clearing out the static while he looks so broken, and merle asking him what he’s remembering, and then finally speaking his sister’s name. its framed very powerfully. i wish he and lup didn’t look awful so i could actually feel something at that part. like they are my favorite characters ever their story makes me so emotional and i just. they’re unrecognizable. the character designs are terrible and taako has spent 6 books now being mischaracterized and flattened to hell so i just can’t muster any emotion. maybe i'll redraw that page someday though because the panelling is genuinely very good

-the ending lucretia monologue is good she's the narrator she's the main character she's everything. love the portraits staticking out and mirroring and changing, and ending on the beach painting is great. very cinematic and a natural way to phase into the stolen century

things i didn’t like:

-i dont think taako’s deepest desire is his own brand of fashion forward athleisure wear if i’m being quite honest. these little things irk me

-why is liches get stitches all the way in the beginning… ill portent for how the rest of this book will go

-i think they shouldve introduced the flaming raging poisoning sword of doom way earlier. the payoff isnt nearly as good without the setup of having been magnus’ white whale for like fifty episodes. maybe they did mention it in earlier books and i just forgot though

-^ i hate his stupid ugly oversexualized stereotyped ass so fucking much its unreal

-why are edward and lydia ugly :( —(they're not ugly because they're chubby they're ugly because their color schemes and outfits are fucking awful) (fr though why are all their colors so muted and dingy?? why are their outfits boring?? at least their heart attack looks are fun)

-oh so there’s just no trust or forsake at all. yeah i don’t like that. in the end no great loss since i don't think it really says anything about thb's characters that hasn't already been said, but so much of thb's characters and arcs have been cut from the gns already

-i get that they’re low on time trying to fit in reunion tour but like come on part of the suffering of the suffering game is how long and painful it is cutting it down really just. makes it not matter as much

-magnus looks no different after aging LMAO he gets like 2 gray hairs and that’s it

-edward and lydia’s lich forms are also boring unfortunately

-no tasha’s hideous laughter on the heart attack mannequin? lame. although i have for the first time realized that dnd shows kinda have a thing for characters uninterested in romance being forced by mysterious powers to be haunted by creepy puppet-like “romance partners” huh

-magnus doesn’t forget kalen?? why cut that out? i guess because there was never closure for it in the original story?

-no boss rush?? that was fun :(

-magnus and taako aren’t surprised merle has kids??? did they know???

-dupree looks terrible but i guess props to carey for giving him feathers even though it looks bad

-just axed the liches’ backstory?? that was kind of important?? the fact that they turned to necromancy out of love for their family & powered themselves with positive emotions too? that like, has relevance later…

-NO BAD LUCK FOR ARMS OUTSTRETCHED? COME ON

-the framing of magnus’ soul being removed is so anticlimactic in general like the POINT of a VISUAL adaptation is to have interesting & cinematic VISUALS its just so messy

-all of arms outstretched didnt look very good in general sorry. its just such a big important moment and to make it so mid… a tragedy

-“i guess we still needed each other after all” doesnt work anymore because they removed all of edward and lydia’s backstory and character but it was an interesting line to me that i wish had been kept. hammering in that liches need anchors is, again, pretty relevant later on, getting rid of that foreshadowing sucks, and it also humanizes these villains in an interesting way that really highlights their powerlust as their downfall rather than just, like, cruelty for evil’s sake. like yes they torture people and find it fun because they’re so distanced from their own humanity but they also truly believed it was necessary for their own safety and seemingly only became sadistic after they desensitized themselves. i wrote a post about this a while ago but idk if i’ll ever post it

-not a fan of barry killing lydia either. idk why, its not like he hasn’t killed other people to protect the boys before. but that’s earlier in the show before we know he’s not just a villain and is in fact meant to introduce him as a villain. now he’s a friend so idk if you can just go back to having him murder people? again its not a wrong choice but it feels like messy storytelling. also like i think seeing a lich grieving her anchor and a sister grieving her brother would pull some heartstrings for him. it would maybe remind him of some people he loves and garner some sympathy and give him some pause. and i liked that in the podcast even though lydia was so distanced from the idea of positive anchors, killing edward just immediately undoes her, fits in with the themes and the way we understand liches to work, another powerful example of what bonds can do, and that's kinda lost here

-magnus’ answer to the bell sucks so badddd lmao when these books NEED context they’re devoid of it but when they actually have the necessary plot points/character arc established for the reader to put something together they have to go and spell it out like the audience is stupid. there was something so raw and powerful about magnus’ original “i’d hate it. shut the fuck up.” like just shutting it down and not even considering it. that’s completely lost when he has to be like “recap time! my wife, julia,” eugh just didnt like that. there are so many powerful lines from balance that i don’t hate on principal that they’ve changed, but there was no good reason to change, and so the new version just falls flat and there was no reason not to include the original lines verbatim? i get not wanting to just deliver a podcast highlight reel and have the gns be their own story or w/e but if you’re gonna do that you have to do it well, and they just keep being worse unfortunately

-they don’t get the chance to go off the grid themselves and choose to trust barry?? come the fuck ON that is IMPORTANT to the STORY

-this may or may not be an unpopular opinion but i’m not a fan of barry’s design either. i don’t like the hair and he’s not fat enough. less egregious than others but its still another instance of being like who tf is that

-barry’s little coin monologue was kinda fun and dramatic and i (finally) liked the visuals of him falling from the sky/silhouette of the starblaster against faerun’s single sun. but i wish they’d kept more of the original. add drama that’s fine but the point of it is to humanize him after we’ve spent so long thinking of him as a villain and a ghost and a force of the story and now it turns out he’s barry bluejeans. he’s just a guy. he loves his mom. he’s allergic to dairy. he’s afraid of the dark.

-especially not a fan of cutting out the “love that defined and redeemed you” and “dull weight in your chest” in barry’s coin monologue. those are important parts of his character. whether you interpret the love and the weight to be for lup or for the whole crew, you need to know that the red robe has lost people, and that everything he does is to try to get them back. he’s the lover and he’s grief personified. his mission is to save the world AND recover his family. thats like. kinda important for his character and role in the story. if you ask me.

-again the “we’ll get em next time” magnus flashback is not BAD but it could’ve looked so much better? carey definitely has strengths as an artist but her fight scenes and character design tends to be very weak so its unfortunate that this is an adaptation of a dnd podcast where those 2 things are like, the most important. idk i feel like i should be articulating what i mean better but i’m not sure how. the fights just are often really cluttered and framed in an odd way that doesn’t look very good or dramatic or dynamic. i don’t want to say carey is a bad artist, i really don’t think she is! but i think she was not the right artist for this project. the magic of a visual medium is, well. the visuals. when they’re mid the whole story suffers.

-taako and merle not just saying magnus is dead is sorta unnecessarily confusing since everyone like assumes he’s dead anyway? idk i don’t understand that choice. kinda fucks with his moment with carey. not a big deal in the end but it does seem unnecessary

-MAGNUS DOESN’T GO SEE FISHER?? the mannequin dies in fantasy costco??? what about johann???

-“you stole half of my fucking heart” i know a lot of people loved this line but it genuinely baffles me. Why Only Half. not only referencing one of the most heartwarming (and heartbreaking) lines in the original show with no context for why its meaningful at all yet—but also minimizing it? why soften that blow? why detract from the raw intensity of that grief? why reduce a very powerful sentiment? an adaptation of balance that doesn’t allow itself to be earnest and wholehearted (ha) about its platonic bonds is not a good adaptation, straight up. maybe its not that deep but it is To Me. maybe it has no real import and i’m just being stupid but like they made that choice to write half instead of just “my heart.” Why, genuinely

-hey what the fuck happened to johann for real though. that was a really important part of the story. hey. hey. what about johann. like are we just ignoring johann. am i insane. how has no one mentioned this. what’s up with johann

-

so all in all, again, rushed pacing, axing of a lot of very important plot points, shoddy visuals.

it did not make me relive the emotional journey of the suffering game and reunion tour. it inspired a vague nostalgia for the first time i experienced reunion tour, reminded me of how much i love the original show, and made me want to listen to the podcast again. especially reunion tour good god i love reunion tour. and it made me desperately wish for a good adaptation. i would do fucking anything for a good adaptation. the longing is making me sick. at least we always have podcast reunion tour.

the graphic novels are just so empty and soulless compared to the original show. i wouldn’t have an issue with changes, except that the changes, at every turn, gut the emotional core of the story that makes it so special, and ruin the strong themes throughout the story. they fundamentally misunderstand what is so good about balance. and also, like, basic storytelling. they’re poorly designed and poorly written, so they don’t even stand on their own as a different story. i'm not expecting an exact replica, but i am expecting good writing, good changes when necessary, and respect for the original beloved story. without those, the soul is gone, the spark of what makes balance so compelling and emotional.

i am dreading the story and song graphic novel. i don’t think it will be any good. the themes and character arcs and plot of the show have been mangled beyond belief so nothing is really meaningful anymore. can we go back to the johann thing for a moment—

[raven-the-claw]

A Complete Guide To Chaotic Academia

bc its my fav aesthetic and there is not enough content about it

Outfits

most people say that chaotic academia is just dark academia but a little bit more messy, and, well, chaotic. the truth is, chaotic academia is A LOT more messy than dark academia. you can still use dark academia as kind of a "base", but you are going to replace your blazers with flannels, your turtlenecks with tshirts. as for pants, you can go with litteraly anything: cigarette pants, tailored trousers, ripped-up jeans or normal black leggings. i personally really ike ripped up overalls bc they give that "i dont really give a damn, im so misunderstood, my parents didnt love me, im a crazy lonely introverted teenage child" vibe...idk. whatever you wear, make sure you feel comfortable in it! even tho in chaotic academia there are almost no rules at all, here are some things that might help you!

colours: any earthy tones are fine, brown, caramel, dark green, dark red, white, etc etc

fictional characters that might inspire you:

-remus lupin

- any dpc character

- jess mariano

- sydney novak

accesories: flannels (a personal fav + they make even the most boring fit look better), cardigans, converse (bonus points if you draw/write on them or if you have them laced in a weird way), bracelets or necklaces that mean something to you, harry potter back packs, tote bags...

hairstyles: whatever you want, just make sure your hair is ALWAYS messy, looking like you just fucking woke up

Activities and Traits

ok now we're getting to the actually important part bc (repeat after me): chaotic academia is not about how you look, its about how you live and how you act. so here r some thing that might help:

- annotating books with the most unhinged random thoughts

- learning poetry or speeches word for word but not remembering most of the things for school

- studying in the (school) library and being besties with the librarian (optional)

- leaving notes (on trees, mailboxes or library books) for strangers to find

- "studying while listening to classical music" and then instead of studying you end up agressivly mouthing your favorite song

- im sure yall already heard this one, but yes, swearing and slag while discussing deep academic topics is incredibly important

- speaking of important topics: posting something important on social media knowing no one will read it

- doodles on your hands 24/7 (NO SUSAN, I DONT GIVE A DAMN THAT ITS BAD FOR MY SKIN)

- sarcasm. a lot.

- random thoughts

- random quotes

- knowing a ton of conspiracy theories that you dont even beileve in by heart

- listening to all different types of podcasts

- one day reading the classics, the next ya fantasy and day after that ao3 smut

- multifandom, multishipper

- tea/coffee addiction

- adding b.c. to todays date when writing it in school

- random thoughts and the weirdest annotations in your school notebooks, especially the classes that you find boring

- "going to the bathroom" and then spending half of your math class drawing/reading/smoking/crying/thinking/whatever the fuck you wanna do there bc ur tired of everything

- stealing random stuff from stores (tho it is not encouraged blah blah blah)

- watching gilmore girls every fall

- telling people ur favorite colour is green even tho it isnt just to let them know that ur gay

- reading in class, on breaks, at home, parks, meetings, aethletic events, and generally all the fucking time

- doing (mostly) everything last minute

- bad at photography, but you enjoy it

- cold tea my beloved

- wearing one item every day: it can either be a necklace, a flannel, a bracelet, a badge, headphones, earrings etc etc

- extremely messy handwriting, always writing with black pen

- crying at least once a day, but only when ur alone, being super emotional but never showing it

- hobbies include reading, screaming in your pillow, learning unique languages that you will probably never use, rewatching dead poets society, harry potter, enola holmes, end of the fucking world and gilmore girls

- massive bookworm, reads all the time, always has a book with them

- skipping class, not that often tho

- 💫anger issues💫

- hyperactive and lazy at the same time

- uses big words but makes fun of other people when they do it

- writes (rebellious) book quotes everywhere, every single one of their notebooks had IF WE BURN, YOU BURN WITH US written in them lol

- random useless powerpoints

- analysing taylor swift's folklore and evermore instead of sheakspeare because its just better

- retired almost-emo, had a phase when they wore black and acted all mysterious but were never really emo i cant explain it

- likes mcr. this one speaks for itself.

- gay and sad. no explanation needed.

Books, Movies and Music

Books:

- Harry Potter by you know who (WE DONT SUPPORT HER THO)

- The Secret History by Donna Tartt

- Night School by CJ Daugherty (is that how u spell it lol)

- The Ninth House by Leigh Bardugo

- Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo

- Heartstopper by Alice Oseman

- Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen

- Emma by Jane Austen

- Hamlet by Do I Really Need To Say Who

- The Perks Of Being A Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky

- The Picture of Dorain Gray by Oscar Wilde

- Frankenstein by Marry Shelley

Movies/TV Shows

- end of the fucking world

- heartstopper

- harry potter

- enola holmes

- dead poets society

- gilmore girls

- httyd (no kidding lol)

im not really a film girlie so if yall have any recs please lmk

Music:

- Mother Mother

- Taylor Swift (obviously)

- Lana Del Slay

- Conan Gray

- Olivia Rodrigo

- My Chemical Romance

- Lovejoy

- Bowie

- Queen

- Radiohead

- Björk

- Those random Disney songs i know you scream to at 3am

also whoever sings the IMJUSTATEENAGEDIRTBAGBAABBYY song

here is my playlist if yall wanna listen to it

hope that helps lol

[saym0-0]

oh my god. oh my GOD mechs esmp crossover. this is for SUCH a niche audience the esmp fandom is dead i dont care mechs esmp crossover

LISTEN TO ME okay ill have to add a sci-fi element to my established esmp world i am OKAY with this, grimlands are already victorian steampunk its not that big a stretch to add space travel, especially in the place of dimension travel.

okay so in my esmp lore the emperors are blessed by the gods with conditional immortality and flight, they know a new ruler has been born by if they're born with wings. i bet though i could twist that into the king cole/olympians idea of trading their citizen's lives for immortality. although it is kinda reversed? (mechs immortals tend to stop aging but can be killed, emperors still age and can die of old age, but cant be killed). hmm i mean theres definite differences between king cole and the olympians so maybe its just another variation, or something closer to the mechs themselves? though that ones less likely

honestly there literally is an esmp1 musical so i reckon its interesting enough to attract the mechs

but lets be honest with ourselves here, the only reason im doing this is so i have an excuse to draw grimlands!marius lmao

i think raph would be interested in it too though, with how they're so much more reliant on technical advancement than magical.

ivy would love the rivendell library, and crystal cliffs

hmmm jonny might have fun between mythland and the cod empire,,,

hmmmm brian would maybe like to hang out with shrub in the undergrove? he does like his garden,, maybe the overgrown with katherine too,, or gilded helianthia!

hrm,, i keep wanting to put people in the grimlands but i know thats only because its my favourite so therefore the most developed and also the most similar in vibe to the mechs

with that said though, tim really would have fun there,, like hes the gunpowder guy!! fwhip is the gunpowder guy!! they both r in charge of weapons!! guns, crossbows, same difference really

oough back to raph i think she and fwhip would bond over making their own wings,, fwhip made his to prove that he is fit to rule after gem fucked off to wizard school and raph,, uh actually i never found out raphs backstory beyond the fact im like 78% sure she made her and marius' mechanisms,, although that could be widely accepted fanon who knows not me

i think marius would also enjoy mezelea

but OH MY GOD TOY SOLDIER IN MEZELEA,,, i cant believe i almost forgot it,, i think it would immediately blend in with the clones and pretend to be one right up until they leave the planet, and have the time of its life the whole time,,

i dont know where ashes would go either.. i cant just say grimlands again because theres like four of them there already but,, the explosions!!

maybe mythland, or rivendell, those both seem like they'd appreciate a good mob boss taking over the place tbh

i think brian would get along with pix also

okay this isnt mechs but the fandom is a circle so if theres actually any fans of both out there reading this post, has anyone else noticed just how similar pix and jon's (tma) voices are?? genuinely when i started listening to the podcast i had to double check the va wasnt pix (and imagine my confusion when they share the same name too..)

anyways if anyone wants to scream about this with me please do, or if you want to know more about my esmp expanded universe feel free to do that too! in asks replies or reblogs idm

[swiftfootedachilles]

Hi! 47, 48 and 49 for the headcanon tag if you are still writing them please ty ily 🧡🖤

47. AU if they had a more normal childhood- How would they be in high school? (Would Ian be a jock? a cheerleader? would he be popular? Would Mickey enjoy studying? what's his favorite subject?) i don't think there's a universe where ian and mickey have normal childhoods and still come out the other end as ian and mickey. but if they had somewhat-stable childhoods? i think they would still be the goofy army kid and the drug dealer. mickey would barely make it to graduation and he would be a class behind, but he wouldnt drop out without even finishing freshman year like in canon. ian loves rotc but he doesnt have tunnel vision fkr joining the military, because hes not as desperate to get away and start a new life. maybe ian gets his math tutoring from mickey, and mickey studies for english tests with ian. i love aus where they are more than just secret fuckbuddies in high school. i need more of them holed up in ians room at dinnertime, passing cigs and joints, teaching each other about inverse trig functions and symbolism in the great gatsby. yeah a lot of things are still shit and they still make a lot of mistakes. yeah mickeys dad is still a piece of shit and ian barely makes it through senior year from the stress of his diagnosis. but it's better. and they are still ian and mickey. so it's all still worth it in the end

48. After awhile, do you think people got to Ian and Mickey for relationship advice? (Gallaghers / friends / franny ) i definitely think debbie tries to subtly hound mickey for info about sandy. what she's doing, where she's at, who she's hanging out with. at first mickey tells her to ask sandy her fucking self, but he realizes 1. he has to be nicer to the only free welder he knows 2. nothing he does to deflect the questions actually makes debbie leave him alone. so he answers her curtly and holds in his annoyance for debbie's obsession with his cousin. eventually he actually tells her something worth listening to, and debbie takes the hint and tries a new tactic for approaching sandy (debbie hasn't been able to get her out of her head and she needs closure or she's gonna combust)

i think lip and tami also sometimes try to drag gallavich into their fights. "you know what it's like living together in a small space, tell her im right." "you've made your relationship work for a while, why dont you give him some advice on how to do the same thing." ian tries to stay out of it because hes very biased toward lip, but mickey honestly dgaf about lip and tami's relationship so he tells them they're both equally and dumb and annoying and they better find someone else to talk to about all this relationship shit before he rigs their duplex with c-4s

49. Gallaghers post canon: Does Lip go back to school/ gets a profession? Do all of them talk to Fiona? What happened with Debbie and Heidi/ Sandy? Franny? Does Carl open the cop bar/ stays a cop? Does Liam live with Lip and Tami? How does he deal with Franks death? okok i have many thoughts about post-s11. i will be as succinct as possible as to not write a 10 page essay about my fanon theories. if y'all want that you'll have to pay me to go on a podcast or smth.

i don't think lip goes back to school, at least not in the near future. maybe further down the line, but for now he's in the mechanic and refurbishing business. which honestly he can make a hell of a lot of money doing so i see no reason why he would feel the need to go back to school and burn himself out and be in debt all over again.

the siblings keep in contact with fiona. i like to imagine she eventually moves much closer to chicago like fort wayne or springfield. somewhere that makes long weekend visits possible. they definitely facetime and are on good terms. if she moves closer i can see liam possibly moving to live with her? or at least stay with her during summer break

fuck heidi i really dgaf about her. i hope debbie and sandy can at least make up and be cordial with each other. i think they are very off-and-on for a looong time. toxic situationship that neither can seem to get away from. they both got shit they gotta figure out if they ever wanna be girlfriends again. sandy throwing debbies trauma in her face was FUCKT UP. and what the hell was with her secret son?? that plot was weird as hell😭

carl dont need to be a cop so yeah i will make him a bartender instead. fuck the cop bar thing, but they can have, like...a cop night or something. like tuesdays and thursdays during happy hour they get a discount or smth. but i REFUSE to turn it entirely into a cop bar. carl lives in the apartment above it

ummm okay so first and foremost lip is NOT selling that house idc what anyone says I AM NOT LETTING HIM DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW BAD THE HOUSING MARKET GOT IN 2021? FUCK OFF. he and tami are either gonna have to suck it the fuck up and live in the gallagher house (ITS A FREE FUCKING HOUSE!!!!) with liam and probably also debbie and franny at least for a little while longer, or lip has to stop being an idiot and live in one of the MANY FREE HOUSING OPTIONS TAMIS FAMILY GAVE THEM. DONT piss me off phillip. with carl, ian, and mickey out of the house i don't see why they can't live there for at least a couple years. debbie can take her time finding an apartment while still living there, liam can have some semblance of normalcy in his life without having to move schools, the older sibs can get their own room (lip and tami, debbie, liam, franny and fred), if they can't make it work then they can't make ANYTHING work. it's literally half as crowded. and i think liam takes franks passing really hard, but i like to think everyone is much more supportive of him than ian was toward mickey when terry died. liam, carl, and mickey can have a heart-to-heart about their complex relationships with their dads. i dont think fiona comes up for the funeral - she probably goes on a bender in miami lbr. but i imagine liam has a decent enough support system that he won't be traumatized by franks deathl

[lendmeurheartandilljustletufall]

‎‎‧₊˚✧ Charlie's Intro Post! ✧˚₊‧

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺₊

"And how odd it is to be haunted by someone that is still alive."

"If I'm so smart and I'm so pretty, damn this town and damn this city."

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺₊

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺₊

☽｡⋆ basic stuff ☽｡⋆

Name: Charlie

Pronouns: she/her

Sexuality: bisexual icon ✰ obviously ✰ *insert hair flip*

Age: I AM A MINOR. A MINOR. NOT ALMOST AN ADULT. A TEENAGER. A YOUNG TEENAGER. My birthday is July 9th, but I AM STILL A MINOR! Please be conscious about this, I’m on here for ✰ fun fandoms ✰ and ✰ fun fandoms ✰ only 

Speaking of that!

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺₊

☽｡⋆ fandoms ☽｡⋆

Riordanverse (I'm Cabin 7, 9, or 6, not really sure!) Harry Potter (I'm a Ravenclaw!) Hamilton Kotlc Httyd Grishaverse (mostly Six of Crows duology AHHH ITS SO GOOD) Amrev (idk if this counts as a fandom but I’m putting it on here anyways) Stranger Things House MD (MOUSEBITES iykyk ;)) The Hunger Games (SO EXCITED FOR THE NEW BOOK!) 911 (the TV show on Disney omg I have to get back into this whoops) EPIC THE MUSICAL SDIFLKHALHFLJSDHGJK The Magnus Archives ARCANE LIVE LAUGH LOVE ARCANE The Lunar Chronicles Princess Academy Most stuff by Kate Milford

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺₊

☽｡⋆ ships ☽｡⋆

SOLANGELO OMG Valgrace for sure Ronance  Steddie Platonic Stobin Lams FOR SURE GAY REVOLUTIONARY WAR HEROS Hamliza (think I spelled that right, idk) Buddie  Sokeefe (though I prefer Team Foster-Keefe) Whatever Jesper x Wylan is called Hinny Romione Ginny x Luna Hilson (toxic old man yaoi for the win lmaoooo) Hiccstrid Percabeth/SmartWater lmao JMART I LOVE THEM JAYVIK ALL THE WAY Timebomb they’re so adorable CaitVi I suppose … fine they’re cutesy

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺₊

☽｡⋆ fun facts ☽｡⋆

I am currently working on a novel and I have around 50,000 words written My friend and I are making an apocalypse podcast My other two friends and I are making a goblin book I am trying to write fanfic, right now I have a couple OC works in progress for Epic and PJO, the beginnings of smth for Lams, a Library AU going for TMA, and an idea of a high school Au Solangelo fic. And like a million other things SHHHH WE DONT TALK ABOUT THAT... I have a college reading level and have since I was in fourth grade (✰ I’m not like the other girls chat ✰) Speaking of those fun little symbols I FOUND A WEBSITE OF THEM AND IM GONNA ABUSE THIS POWER SO MUCH OMG YOU GUYS DONT EVEN KNOW!!!

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☽｡⋆ fave music artists ☽｡⋆

The Oh Hellos The Crane Wives Rabbitology Måneskin MARINA Naethan Apollo Paris Paloma Imagine Dragons (FIGHT ME BRO THEY'RE SO GOOD) Mumford & Sons The Lumineers The Head and the Heart Eminem AJR Florence + The Machine TV Girl

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☽｡⋆ DNI ☽｡⋆

just the usual: racists, homophobes, pedophiles, ableist, sexists, the like, haters in general yk, TRUMP SUPPORTERS FUCK OFF

unfortunately also people asking for donations, DNI. I cant give but I am so sorry for your situation and I really hope you get the money you need, I'm just not able to donate myself.

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☽｡⋆ other ☽｡⋆

Please do not send asks regarding donations, like I've said a couple times, I have no money and like three followers and really I just get crazy guilty cause I can’t do anything Any other asks are always appreciated though! Feel free to ask for a fanfic to be written, yap about your day, ask me stuff, or vent! I will pretty much always respond! I’m gonna update this a lot, so be on the lookout!

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"Are you drunk?" "I'm a poet.”

[landscaping-your-mind]

i dont want to talk about scrutiny

WHATEVER, FINE, OKAY, WE'RE DOING SCRUTINY, OR SOMETHING, FINE, WHATEVER, WHAT EVER

i love scrutiny, i do, but in the way that i love threshold, and nothing beside remains, and seeing it through, and a guest for mr spider. meaning I really do, but I also hate it with vitriol. Not really? It's complicated. I have Some Feelings Towards it. Yep. Look this podcast makes me feel happiness and sadness and anger at the same bloody time, but it's all confused because it's overridden by being Very ADHD about it, so like, they're all rattling around in there. I hate it (affectionate), I love it (derogatory), you get it?

Anyway, y'all know how I feel about Jon already, and if you don't, it's love and only love, so uhm, yeah, let's just get on with it already, rambling and mostly rambling, attempts to set aside my undying love for the Jarchivist for like a day, etc.

@a-mag-a-day

Firstly, I'd like to draw attention to the posts I made on my instagram story about this when I was first listening to TMA, because I was Not Alright.

The first was highlighting the description of the episode: "Statement of an unknown bystander, regarding an encounter with The Archivist." "The Archivist." Not "Jonathan Sims," not "Jonathan Sims, Head Archivist of the Magnus Institute, London," not even "Jonathan Sims, The Archivist."

Just... The Archivist.

The second was regarding the first, saying that I knew it was deserved but he should be allowed to eat a few fears. As a treat.

I didn't say anything to my partner (who you should follow by the way, they're scarandjoelenthusiast), cause I think I was still attempting to be spoiler free for vex at that point, lol. And I had no other... friends. At all. Um. Yeah.

So, onto the relisten! Oh boy.

MARTIN Ah, alright, did he... did he look like he hadn't slept in about a week?

I absolutely love that Jon's descriptors are looking like shit, and looking like Jesus. That's just amazing.

Also uh,,, why did Martin immediately go to Jon? Hm..

Everything, every bit of light or sound or, or anything that changed, that said time was passing. There was nothing. Before that I never really thought about time, you know? But now… Yeah.

that must have been terrifying

So, it, it took a long time to get over that. I mean, that’s not weird, right? I me— It was a bad time. You know, it, it stays with you. Was signed off, what, I think about six months with the injuries. Had pretty bad, uh, nightmares, claustrophobia, I mean, obviously, right? But, uh, but, but I did my physio, and, you know, talked, talked with the counsellor they gave me. Look, I did everything I was supposed to and, and yeah, I… I guess I was fine. You know, once the bruises were gone I— Well, it’s easy to blame memory, right? You know, ha-hallucination, coincidence, all the classic shite you tell yourself. Life went back to normal. I— I was fine. Until about two weeks ago.

Jesus fucking christ, Jon. She was fine, trying to get over it, Floyd was fine and that's just it, because they think they're safe, and-

She was fine, she was okay, and he took that from her, he took that from her, he made it so she couldn't be fine anymore, he made it so every god. damn. night she'd experience that again, the bastard.

There’s this creep in, in the corner. Your guy. He just… keeps staring at me, like, like properly staring. Like, it is super intense and, and real weird. Like he knows me, but I sure as hell do not know him. I— I try to ignore him, look, I just, I just read my book, and every time I look up there he is, watching me.

Girls when they realise oh yes, he's an avatar.

So… Look, I’m packing up, all done and, and I just, I just sorta turn, you know, just, just to check if he’s still there and he is standing right behind— Like, like a few inches from my face. Look, it’s messed up!

That's??? Terrifying?? I mean, look, like, my sisters jump whenever I quietly stand behind them and stare intently, and they're my sisters, they know me, they know I only joke about stabbing them with a knife, Jon, that's freaky, stop being freaky, you have trauma at home. Go eat a stale trauma for gods sake.

Like, okay Mr. "I don't think it's me doing it." Who sat at a bloody coffee shop for an hour.

I. Understand. That there is a certain. Need. To cause and feed on fear. As an Avatar/Monster/Whatever. And I mean like it's pretty hard. To admit you're in the wrong for something. Even if you think you're in the wrong for other things. But like. None of this matters to Jess, to Floyd, to the three other people whose lives he ruined. He can try be better, he can never do it again, but he can't go back and fix it.

And I start to ask him, you know, what the hell, man, you know? Like— But he just starts talking. Slowly. But real intense. He says, he works here, at the, the Magnus Institute, and I say, what even is that and he says, he wants my story. He says he needs to hear what happened to me. And I— I want to tell him to jj-just go away. I want to, to, to kick him and run. But I— (long sigh) I sit down. And I start to tell him everything. About the job, about the collapse, a-about the hand. More than I told you, even, and, and as I do— it’s like I’m there again. Like I can feel it grab my ankle, th-th-that cold, dead hand and I just… I just can’t stop talking. I cannot shut up.

[ID: A blurry photo of CC!GoodTimesWithScar with his head in his hands. /End ID]

And then it was over. And he looked— He looked at me like he’d just eaten, like a perfectly cooked steak. You know what he said? He said, “Thank you.” “Thank you.” Just like that. Like, like reliving the worst parts of my whole life were just a bit of a… a favour that I’d done him. And then he left and I— I just sat there and cried for a while.

i don't know what to say im just sitting here with my head in my hands.

And he’s there the whole time, just… watching me. Watching me scream and thrash and… He’s all eyes. He’s all eyes.

I kinda want to punch him right about now, because how dare he do that to her, how dare he ruin her life just because he wanted to. Whatever, avatar, feed your god or it'll feed on you, I don't care, that's his business, not hers. She wasn't involved, she didn't have to be involved, she was fine and he took that from her, the bastard!

How dare he sit there talking about choice, how dare he feel all guilty for ruining her life, how dare he! He doesn't deserve to feel bad about it. Christ, Jon, what the fuck.

But I feel like I’m seeing him when I’m awake as well. I’ve been… I’ve been having a lot of problems since he talked to me. Since I talked to him. Since I told my... story. The, the claustrophobia, it’s back, worse than it ever was and I can’t do my job. I have these, these screaming panic attacks every time I try and— What am I supposed to do? Like, feels like, like every time I’m even slightly underground I— Can’t even go into a shop basement more without feeling that… (sniffs) hand. Every time I do, every time I get that panic just rising up my throat, I see him. He’s there. Not when I look properly, but just at the edge. The corner of my eye. Then he’s gone.

(MAG 142 - Scrutiny)

Since then, she said she’d been seeing that woman everywhere she went.

(MAG 6 - Worm Sex Episode Squirm)

✨ becoming what you hated ✨

No, but I have a lot of feelings on becoming a fear entity Avatar and the cycle of violence. Of how Avatars often only became Avatars because of previous trauma, because they had no other options. Of how they often don't see themselves as victims, for example Annabelle Cane describing herself as manipulative, even as she was a child trying to cope in an abusive household. And I think that Jon being like Jane Prentiss, following his victims like her, starting to understand her... that ties into those themes. I love this podcast <3.

MARTIN No, no, it’s— Thank you. I just— [Agitated clatter] For god’s sake, can he not just stay safe for like, like ten minutes?! DAISY I don’t think that’s an option for him anymore. MARTIN Yeah, I mean, sure. But he just… he doesn’t think! He always just immediately charges straight off into danger with whatever, whatever half-arsed plan occurs to him at the time! I don’t get it! DAISY What’s to get? MARTIN What? DAISY I, I mean, it’s pretty standard stuff. MARTIN What? DAISY Used to see it all the time back in the force, especially with the sectioned. Not like there’s ‘normal’ trauma, you know, but it’s pretty common. The most important thing becomes control, engaging on your own terms. Even when it’s stupid or dangerous. Anything to not feel helpless. MARTIN Oh god… DAISY And of course for Jon’s there’s survivor’s guilt in there too. He thinks he’s not human. Makes him very… self-destructive.

PODDED CAST!!

Thank you, Jonny.

Like hgnhhrnhhnr <3 yep. mhhnm there's another post that talks about the meaning of putting that in with scrutiny, I'll tag a mag a day in that.

Like! Aa! Thank you. Don't really have much to add, I mean I said a bunch in other episodes rambles, specifically the MAG 131, 132, and 136 ones.

I mean you know, the whole spider thing, a bit of his self-blame about... the end of season 4... could come from... if he's not to blame, then he didn't have any control, then all of this was out of his control. If he couldn't stop it, if Jimmy Magma's plan was that good then... well, then he was helpless, and there's nothing worse than being helpless.

in conclusion, disregard the above Jon did nothing wrong- no, he's... he doesn't get to be forgiven by Jess, by Floyd, by the others, not unless they choose to forgive him. But he can work on doing better, you know? He's allowed to not wallow in guilt the whole time, he's not irredeemable, he just did bad things -- bad things he can't fix -- but he can work on never doing those bad things again, on mitigating the damage as much as he can. He's not a bad person, just a person who did bad things.

I dunno, I'm more interested in the metaphysics side of philosophy. You know there's a branch of philosophy called metametaphysics? I think it's so funny.

[burningvelvet]

okay more thoughts on pride and prejudice as i begin chapter 39

1 i want to see lady catherine, mrs. bennet, and miss bingley in the same room together on a podcast panel debating things like marriage and childrearing etc but i dont think the world would be able to handle it

2 i’m interpreting mr. darcy as either being neurodivergent (possibly autistic) and/or having severe social anxiety — and this is really informing my entire perspective of his character (as a core theme to his character is being socially understood/misunderstood). however, i know its still very controversial to “diagnose” fictional characters and i don’t want to come off that way — but historical complications aside (the field of psychology didn’t exist back then how it does now) it’s really obvious to see that he’s not neurotypical, although i don’t know if this is an accepted thing in the austen world though!

3 i’m not buying that mr. darcy’s letter was only 2 pages long. 3 pages minimum with tiny handwriting maybe.

4 this entire novel really highlights the importance of social communication more than anything imo

5 mr. collins is fucking hilarious and his interactions with elizabeth are so accurate/relatable of what it’s like to deal with oblivious men as a female, esp. men who dont know how to take a hint — i was actually laughing out loud through his entire proposal sequence, especially at the line where it says elizabeth is trying hard not to laugh too. so familiar.

6 i wish we could see more of charles i actually like him — i also like colonel fitzwilliam and kind of wanted him to marry elizabeth - its kind of hilarious how casual the topic of marriage is with people you’ve just met & i really want to read more about regency history on marriage specifically now to figure out how much is embellished for satire purposes & how much is true to life

7 i have many thoughts on wickham but thats for a separate post

8 from what little i’ve read about p&p analysis/consensus so far, it seems mrs bennet and some other characters have already been torn to shreds over lit history to the point that its become more common to defend them & mrs bennet in particular, which i understand bc she’s supposed to be a satire on women of the time period but of course her concerns are valid and there are real economic reasons for her actions and societal norms that pertain to them. i’ve also read that it’s common for people to prefer mr bennet over his wife and to pit them against each other which can lead into misogyny & i can see this. however (im sure the bennet family ends up happy at the end, but at this point in the story) i think there are valid reasons for these interpretations which lead people to like mr bennet more than mrs bennet. after the ordeal with collins i really lost respect for mrs bennet for threatening to disown eliza & treating her so harshly, and i gained respect for mr bennet for sticking by eliza. i continuously defended mrs bennet and her behavior up until the collins proposal. i understand she’s desperate for eliza to marry so that she doesn’t become destitute etc. but mr collins simply isnt an ideal husband

9 eliza’s feelings on her friend marrying collins are so sad and relatable of how all of us feel when we watch a friend or loved one enter a shitty relationship and/or betray themselves or lose a part of their personality + the idea of having to mourn your friend especially upon growing up etc. but particularly as it relates to the lonely woman’s experience of finding one’s friends starting to center males & prioritize romance over friendship the older you get.

hope some of this is semi-intelligible - i save the grammar for my real essays - but felt like rambling

i think in my last post i was spelling “bennet” as “bennett” so i apologize for that lol - pls dont kill me janeites, i’m new here!!!

[notafunkiller]

For someone who spoke so fondly about an ex when they are supposedly ‘dating’ is 🫣 let’s just say that Seb and AW are dating, you would be a bit worried with what he said the interview even said he looked hard in thought, he then said it was a simpler time then that’s also weird.. did he mean that now it’s a harder time to be in love as in it’s not easy anymore? and then said that’s the first time he was in love nothing about his supposed current ‘love’ no story’s no antidotes nope nothing everyone else but her? Strange! I get everyone has an ex one you think about a bit but not when you are suppose to be in a loving relationship and not to say it so publicly. And not to be so deep in thought about it in an interview. The Deux was revenge definitely why now? Why wait for this time to say anything, you wouldn’t unless you want to make a statement, not unless you want control a narrative could it be used for future reference to reason why this ‘relationship’ ends. We know Seb has friends who follow deux so we know this will get back to Seb so he will know about it hell they probably listened to the podcast/ i think in my eyes sebastian act single. Its the mentality of a person, when you single you live for yourself and dont watch out for other person and you dont need to think about other peoples feelings and all. And thats how seb act, if he thought about aw feelings and how she might be seen he wouldnt talk so much about his ex, plastic surgeries, addiction to sm and all, he would think that his gf do all of that and people might see and compare her to it what happened yet he didnt care. Because even if aw is around seb in his head is not in rs, he think about himself as single and thats how he act, not commited at all. Aw is the one who reach for him every time, he is just there, she is the one who mention bf, post him and all, and he had a chance to say something about her but never did, he never defend her from anything, hell he couldnt even open the door for her, push her in at last party and drag her threw hotel loby in cannes so fast she need to fast walk to keep up. Its really sad and i would feel so dissrespected if i was aw i would cry. But i guess she whant that because she whant the attention, but the irony is the longer she stay the less she get, people are droping like flys, no likes, no press attention, no articles, no new fallowers, and even her new movies are not talk about or gave negative comments.

And also to the other anon who say about private couple. I totally agree, there is difference in privare and pr. If someone is private they dont bait all the time, dont call pap, dont scrool threw ig just to find and like the commemts that mention your bf, provate is staying silent going to events together as a couple and maybe talking about each other in interviews. What they do is oposite of private, the fact seb dont allow her next to him on most of his work events is telling, he couldnt even pose with her in cannes and he had time for that. Plus the articles, they are so pr it hurts, all of them use the same terms: private couple, loved up, in love, going strong, all of this and aw and seb still dont act like couple, they even sometimes use a pic of them looking unhappy as hell and call it love or try to bend the reality like when they say they walk the canes read carpet together, that they make the apperence yet only if you saw the vid you know that never happened. Everything is stage and bought but still suprose me why they keep this up.

And now aw get less and less attention, sebs movie flop in box office, adm also dont do that well, the deux add too, plus seb is going around making all this big statement yet still is around aw who is oposite of whar he whant, it dont paint good picture of him now, its like he dont practice what he preach. I just whant to know how long and where this will go

!!