#i still have trauma from the nina arc

[jeffthekillerzblog]

a major plot point or like the entire thing about my au is just the creeps moving on and having their own character arcs throughout the years and finally heal from their past trauma

(rest is me rambling about my au...u don't have to read if u don't wanna its pretty long)

Jeff's arc is big on him finding his brother and coming to terms with what really happened. jeff is so incredibly stubborn and a big (very) egotistical. he finds it hard to open up and after what happened he feels that there's no point opening up anyway bc he's literally a famous asshole serial killer who's messed up SO many people's lives. another big thing about his arc is just owning up to his actions and apologizing to the people he's hurt. for example, nina. he led her on, treated her terribly for no reason, and was overall just an asshole. after they get into an argument he'll eventually apologize bc like he didn't HATE nina, he's was and prob still is in a terrible mindset and copes in such unhealthy ways. IDK OK I'm rambling but my point is he does eventually apologize to nina not because he needs her or like wants to use her again. he apologizes because he genuinely misses her and BOOM they become besties again after jeff properly apologizes and ya. BUT basically jeff's arc is him finally finding liu after all these years and yeah he apologizes to all the people he hurt (or the IMPORTANT ones) like nina, liu, and EVENTUALLY... jane. but that's WAY into the future (besides nina) he's way too full of himself to apologize now.

Nina's arc is her getting over JEFF. her love for Jeff began when she met him. she already admired him, but he turned into a full on crush. he did lead her on, and it hurt her a lot. shed spent tons of nights alone when jeff was supposed to be sleeping next to her, and she just felt so lonely, especially since jeff was so neglectful. She talks to clockwork about it and they help her realize her self worth and comforts her (she's terrible at it). Nina starts hanging out with Nat and toby more often, and it makes her feel SO much better about herself. Eventually she does get fed up of jeffs bs and they get into an argument and nina decides to leave. she kicks him out of her apartment and she doesn't let him come back. (she does....when he apologizes.....) She eventually learns to love herself and realize she doesn't need a stinky man's validation. Theres also a bit of her coming to terms with her own trauma, but I haven't fully fleshed that part out yet.

BEN's arc is probably my favorite. he's lost all his memories of his past life, and now after he accidentally found out he's NOT just a computer AI program, he decides to take it on himself to find out who his family was, how his life was, and how he died. I wont say as much bc I want to keep it a surprise, but in summary it fucks him up LMAO

ok that's it. OBVIOUSLY the rest of the creeps are healing as well BUT I have not fleshed out their stories yet...oops. so its just three for now. Except MUCH more stuff about the trio bc I love them with my all.. if u have any questions feel free to ask :3

[sebadztian]

Another week, another episode. Let's go!!

Spoilers for episode 4 below (and the manga too!)

*press the 'Skip Recap' button* - where was this button last week?

I've read the manga, I know what's going on, but it still strange to see Sebas serving morning tea to someone who's not Ciel...

Ah, so Sebas knows that Sieg & Ciel are roughly the same size... His Bocchan is really tiny.

I'm pretty sure it takes more than a bedcover to make a dress, but whatever.

"A skill a dressmaker could do better."

1. Nina will agree, 110%

2. Humility doesn't suit you, sir.

Even going to breakfast has to be accompanied by sparkles... The DRAMA...

Wolf looked like he wanted to punch Sebas in the face. I don't blame him.

*Skip Intro*

I've got to admit, when I first read about this whole 'Formal Table Setting' thing in the manga, I learned a lot.

What is it with Sebas and his tendency to get into someone's face? An intimidation tactic? A decline in his vision? Or is he just weird like that?

Ofc she doesn't know anything about table manners. She was raised by a Wolf (Get it?)

I call bullshit. Sir, you don't even have a heart!

Ah, he's dangling the 'knowledge' carrot in front of her. I think he was testing the water here, to see how she'd react, if she'd take his bait. And she did. Enthusiastically too.

It was her weakness and he exploited that. I talked about this some time ago, about how Sebas had seduced Sieg with the promise of 'more knowledge' and 'the outside world' to get her to cooperate.

Bard, if only you knew... Sebas was crying inside. "Bocchaaaan.... Bocchaann... Please let me touch you...!"

Tanaka is highly underrated just because he's half-chibi. One of the reasons why I love this arc is because we get to see the servants in action. We did see that in the Circus arc too, ofc. But this one is different. They weren't at home, they were stuck in a foreign territory, battling an army of German soldiers, and they still kicked ass!

*Professor Michaelis flashback*

A solid proof that Sebas does care about Ciel. He brings that book with him everywhere so that he can be prepared if Ciel was having another asthma attack or any other illness that the little lord might've neglected to mention because Sebas 'never asked'.

I'm sorry... what did they do to people with sore throat back then?!

Neither have I, Sieglinde. Neither have I. But bacon does make me happy, so...

Wolf has been demoted from 'butler & caretaker' to 'errand boy'.

Babyyy....!!

Sebas is missing out!

Seb: I KNOW! BOCCHAAAANNN...!! 😭😭

Please don't scold Finny. He's trying his best... He's so sweet!! I love him!!

It is really hard to believe that this was the same boy who stood his ground against a literal demon. I did some research on mustard gas and yes, this is one of the effects. Basically it enhanced the negative feelings, such as fear or anxiety tenfold and that's why Ciel is like this. The 'werewolves' were there to further worsen this effect.

This is truly heartbreaking. Ciel's crying and feeling that he didn't deserve any of this, that he wasn't good enough. This gas is enhancing his childhood trauma and opened the dam of three years of suppressed emotions. This arc really shows how much Ciel had sacrificed and how hard it was to maintain the image of 'Ciel Phantomhive'. He lost his entire personality, the sweet, caring, and wonderful younger brother.

So, back then, Ciel & Seba were sent to investigate and dismantle the lab in Germany, just like how the queen was sending him to Germany again to investigate about the werewolf village. Somebody really needs to call child service...

Sebastian looked way too happy to fight a child test subject...

He really was adorable. No wonder everyone wanted a piece of him...

I might've misheard it, but I thought I heard Ciel say 'Shieru' (as in RC) and Sebas. Due to the way Japanese sentences are structured, the object was said first before the verb and he did say something about RC. But the translation didn't mention it because it wouldn't make any sense because he hadn't utter the verb.

Ciel-shaped lump on the bed. (Why does he look like a turnip?)

I should've hired Sebas as my English tutor, or read that book about the bacon. I've been learning English for 20+ years and I still can't speak it perfectly, but Sieg spend the morning (3 hours at most?) learning the language using a single book and she's now fluent in English.

Well, that's a unique, not weird at all, thing to say to a sick person, don't you think? And she did well on not mentioning the marked eye. Sebas looked somewhat worried, but mostly kept his poker face. I bet it took everything in him not to reach out to touch his little meow-meow.

Sieg knew some things about various rituals to conclude that Seb & Ciel were devil worshippers based on the marks on Seb's hand & Ciel's eye. She even recognized the symbol as demonic signs.

I wonder if this knowledge would come up again in the later chapters of the manga...

Painful memory? Actually, it was a fond memory. It was the day he met his future husband!

Dear lord, what on earth was Wolf doing?! Was he wighing the salt?! Why?!

I don't know why Yana said that Sebas acted without thinking. He's shown that he was quite knowledgeable and he can think on his feet. He came up with a strategy when battling UT on Campania, and he knew that there was something hidden underneath the manor, so he utilized Snake's snake to investigate further. The man is a smart cookie and combine that with his experience, he's actually very clever and sly.

This is way funnier in the anime than in the manga. And look at that ass!

Snake looks like he got some sort of a revelation... and fangs.

And that's it for this week. It was overall a great episode. Everyone got some decent screentime and some scenes are much better animated than they were in the manga. Like Ciel's grief and his helplessness. It was much more pronounced in the anime.

I think they did a great job with this arc. They're clearly more comfortable with drawing the characters because they look much better than last season's.

And I'm happy that they're staying true to the manga. At this point, I don't want to see an AU of any sort like S1 or S2. I just want to see the manga panels come into life and hear the characters' voices. Some might not agree with me, but that's just my personal preference.

See you next week!

[winters-rose-daughterofcain]

Current 3 AM thoughts: Sapphic Helnik with female Matthias

THINK ABOUT IT THINK ABOUT IT THINK ABOUT IT-

Tall buff blonde lesbian with religious trauma and a degree in repression? Obviously she wouldn't be a full on member of the Druskelle because Fjerda hates woman but like she can still be connected to Brum/ the Druskelle and end up on the ship another way. Have a look at the unseen labor woman are absolutely contributing too even if they aren't aloud to fight. Still like grew up indoctrinated and shit and the same redemption/unlearning arc and stuff, have her disapprove of Nina because of how she's taught woman should behave still but like, also envious of her freedom in how she can act and express herself and the confidence she has in who she is, them still bonding over being children forced to participate in a war while contrasting the differences. Nina being almost more hurt when she insults her on the ship because the men she expects it from, but she thought the only other girl here might have been an ally and then instantly feeling stupid about it. A definitely not casual low-key wlw situationship as they travel together. THE FUCKING YEARNING AND BETRAYAL in hellgate and all throughout the first book tbh, just so so much sapphic yearning, the pull of Fjerda and Druskelle traditions being not just familiarity but also the comfort of heteronormativity even if just metaphorically, standing up to and betraying Brum being not only about Grisha and the beliefs she was taught about others also being about recognising her own autonomy and power and the ways in which his ideology has hurt her. THE FORBIDDEN LOVE OF IT ALL HELLO?

There's so more okay and I still love Matthias and his/their original story and think its quite important and some things don't perfectly translate (and I can't have more sapphics dying on me okay) but like I thought of it and I can't unthinking it now okay so just think about it THINK ABOUT IT-

[thesummerpetsalamander]

Don’t get me wrong, I’m living for Frenchie and Colin but I wish they’d explored a different aspect of Frenchies back story this season. like how he finally escaped from his dad (did he kill him in the end or run away?) or being homeless and having to become a prostitute to survive when he first came to the states.

I’m also convinced that Frenchies dad actually killed his mom but he’s blocked it out due to trauma. If they went down that route then that would have been an interesting way of linking his and Colin’s storyline.

THISSSSSSSS!!!!!!

when little nina mentioned his abusive father, and when he mentioned turning tricks’ in a flashback, i instantly wanted to know so much more about his backstory. those were two story arcs that were already set up for him to explore! but instead we get him and colin, which feels a bit rushed and kind of pointless anyway since we know nothing about colin. we know frenchie is going to lose colin, there’s no way this will work out. but we don’t care if he loses colin because colin has no emotional weight on the story. maybe if we got to see colin and frenchie’s relationship develop from the start we’d care more about them, but it was thrown at us just for it to be taken away immediately in an attempt to force the audience to pity frenchie. but we already know frenchie feels regret for his kills. i want to see how other aspects of his past shape him as a person.

we could still delve into frenchie’s guilt for being a hitman — but let’s explore what drove him to become a hitman. like you said, anon, did he have to kill his dad to finally be free? did this + turning tricks in america make him feel like the only thing he was good for was his body — his physical form, only made to please or hurt others, only made to follow commands. we see how he yearns for true individual freedom, but he struggles so much to actually free himself from those who hold the end of his chain. why is that? why does he not let himself to decide his own fate when that is all he wants? does he not trust himself — after a life of listening to others, does he not feel he can think for himself? does he think that if he tries to make his own decisions he’ll fuck up, so he only lets himself do what others tell him? or does he think he doesn’t deserve it — after killing so many people, does he think he deserves to be kept on a short chain for his sins?

frenchie is SUCH an interesting character, and they could be doing so much more with him. i’ve loved how they’ve explored his character over the past three and a half seasons, but i wish they would keep going further. clearly he has issues with his perception of his own autonomy. how did an abusive, controlling father affect this? anon, if your theory about his father killing his mother is true (it makes sense to me), how would that knowledge affect frenchie? how did turning tricks to survive in america impact his own self image and worth. how does selling his body for survival — first as a prostitute, then as a weapon — affect his perception of autonomy and identity? who does frenchie think frenchie is? these are all the paths i want to be explored with his character. if the writers wont do it, give me the pen.

all my kudos to the writers and the actor for creating such a great character. to leave the audience wondering more about your character like this is a compliment — it means we’re invested and we want to see more!!

also anon, feel free to message me to talk more about the show!! having the boys brainrot rn and id love to discuss it. or you can keep sending anons!

[suusoh]

Im so conflicted!!! Anna’s such a delicious concept but i’m so salty about Nina being insufficiently explored in monster and i feel guilty for enjoying Anna so much. I mean by all means Nina should’ve had plenty of her own batshit moments given her trauma and the fact that she doesn’t is a disservice to her and to us all. Ughhhhhhhhhhh

Look I love monster and naoki urusawa's writing. But if there's one thing. ONE thing I could criticize about it. It would be not expounding on Nina more. Like she honestly should have been the main character in my eyes. There were some characters who I've thought shouldn't have had screen time and it should have went to Nina instead. Like that's literally????? the other twin??????? like you're gonna drop a mirror analogy, make a theme about the effects of nature vs nurture, and then not- i don't know, SHOW MORE OF IT? OF NINA? If Johan shows the possibility of what could have happened to anna given certain circumstances, THEN NINA IS ALSO THE POSSIBILITY OF WHAT JOHAN COULD HAVE BEEN TOO. LIKE WHY DID THEY NOT PUT ATTENTION TO THAT.

Like it's fine if they don't want to make her main character, but it's a sin they didn't give her much... dare I say, depth. I feel like the fandom gives way more depth to nina than the actual source material. I know what they were trying to accomplish in that Czechoslovakia arc, but I still can't help but feel how repetitive their treatment with Nina was in making her just moan in pain and anguish over and over again. She really shined so much in that turkish district arc, that one episode dedicated to just her, and rurenheim.

I love dr tenma but I really do think that some moments of his could have easily just been given to Nina instead. And I do think some characters screen time could have easily been replaced with Nina time instead.

And to think the only glimpse we have of the monster "anna liebert" is just that one therapy session ARHGHGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Like it may not be a fair comparison, but sometimes I can't help but think of Vash the stampede from trigun. Vash and Nai. Like that's what could have been for Nina!!!

Her character was so under utilized that I just wanna slump into my bed and weep.

[booknerdium]

It’s really interesting to me how the first time we are introduced to Matthias, he is fighting the wolves. Like, he’s being fighting these beings that are so sacred to him, he takes the time to say a prayer over them, and we are reminded several times of his reluctance to do so. But he still does it. This both shows his devotion to his religion, which is a major character thing, and make us expect Matthias to be nicer than he is when we first officially meet him, in his pov (where he tries to kill Nina), while sneakily being like, he’s not the perfect druskelle he used to be, because not only did he aid a Grisha, he killed wolves. Killing the wolves is where he really reaches his breaking point, and his arc in the books is about acceptance of Nina and getting over his religious trauma and building himself back up from the boy fighting the wolves in Hellgate, the fallen druskelle who betrayed everything he once stood for. Idk, I just think Leigh was really smart for showing his lowest moment first, so we could focus on Matthias’s growth and have hope that he and Nina could work out.

[tealmoth]

also "darkfic au that got out of control" is such a funny description to me 😭 im curious as to why you think so personally i thought it was pretty balanced in heavy and lighthearted moments and considering the themes like the effects of imperialism i dont see why it wouldnt be handled as such. havent watched in a while tho idk

oooohh okay so this’ll be a fun thing to answer because i’ve been desperate to ramble about ‘03 plot points to anyone who will listen all week. so for me, honestly, the darkfic vibes come more from how deeply it dredges into the dark aspects, if that makes any sense?? most of what’s “dark” in ‘03 already exists and is explored in brotherhood, like the imperialism aspects as you mentioned, as well as grief and trauma and everything else that comes prepackaged with fma’s core story. but brotherhood handled these in a very shonen way (which is to be expected, of course). the darkness pushes the characters forward, makes them fight on. even when they’re at the brink, they’re called back by a loved one, or by their own convictions, and it retains an overall positive feel.

meanwhile in ‘03, i get the specific vibe that the writers looked at the story they already had, and asked themselves “how can this be worse??”

(inserting a read more because i’m about to go on a MASSIVE tangent, sorry.)

and so, here are some of the specific darker aspects that stood out the most to me:

the build-up to nina is given far more screentime and its place in the timeline is totally different. not only are the elrics so much younger here, but they’re also essentially a part of the tucker family for the better part of several months iirc. they also witness the direct aftermath of her death at the hands of scar (which is also implied to be FAR more gruesome here), whereas in brotherhood they find out from riza the morning after it happens.

there’s the whole barry ordeal which afaik doesn’t serve much purpose other than it, well, being kinda neat to see pre-armor barry. and i could totally be misremembering here and/or missing something important but the whole episode just stands out to me as “hey, i don’t think that ed’s had enough trauma yet. let’s sprinkle in some attempted murder.”

everything with the laboratory, holy shit. tucker’s reappearance, the attempts at recreating nina, the prisoners, everything with kimblee, the way ed almost activates the array, ALL OF IT is insane in this version.

al’s doubts about his memories and his origins is a longer arc and leads to more conflict with ed in this version.

mustang and winry’s parents. mustang’s suicide attempt. everything with mustang that’s not comic relief (which there’s still plenty of).

as stated in the tags of my first ‘03 post, the utilization of rose’s character is a really intense departure (while interesting!!) that completely took me aback.

the entirely different lore surrounding the homunculi is both incredibly fascinating and a lot to take in, and it leads to them being far more mentally vulnerable and tormented characters than they are in brotherhood. the contrast alone between the development greed gets in brotherhood (using him as an example since he effectively has the most character growth out of the homunculi there) and the development that lust, wrath, and sloth get in ‘03 stands out the most to me.

sloth in general. it’s a wildly fascinating take and, in addition to REALLY hammering in the themes surrounding their mother’s transmutation, also stands to provide even more trauma for the elrics.

and on that subject, the adults are far less present for the boys in this version. that’s not to say that they’re like “parents” or anything in brotherhood, but they’re a lot more openly concerned for them in a personal, affectionate way in that show. whereas here, especially in the early segments, i’m pretty sure that ed could have died in a ditch somewhere and they wouldn’t have noticed for at least a week.

scar’s characterization is more vulnerable here and both his death and the events leading up to it are insane.

and that’s not even getting into everything with dante, which deserves its own post.

with all that said, i’m also not even done with this show yet. i still have four eps left!!

but, all rambling aside, that’s what specifically gave me the darkfic sort of vibe. not to demean the show or reduce it to fanfic terms, or anything; it’s still very interesting and competent writing. but it just gives me so much whiplash when compared to brotherhood’s overarching feelings of hope and the ability to fight back and change the future for the better. it feels soul-nourishing to me, in a way. meanwhile, ‘03 is like a cavalcade of trauma, all provoked by the question “you know what’d be really fucked up??”

[felixcloud6288]

Fullmetal Achemist Chapter 95

This is such a Royai chapter.

Look at Riza's gun. She had the hammer primed and her finger was on the trigger.

Riza's father was the original creator of Flame Alchemy. She watched him be driven to madness by it and is witnessing it all again.

And I'd say Envy isn't even trying to save it's life anymore. It just wants to sow misery and strife among the group even if it dies doing so. They all have so many reasons to hate each other, and them not reacting to his taunts at all is what frustrates Envy the most. Ed doesn't even respond to being called short.

Envy is a being that seems incapable of kindness. The closest it's ever come is when Envy purposely addressed Ed politely when it had consigned itself to death in Gluttony's stomach.

Like all it's siblings, Envy has a sort of ego that makes it feel superior to humans. That sense of ego stems from them existing for a purpose rather than being born by sheer chance. I've mentioned how I think Wrath hates how his life has been directed for his purpose, but maybe all of the Homunculi hold similar feelings.

Envy has had to interact with people. It's an agent of strife and discord. But Envy has seen how humans, born with no purpose, can still come together to lead fulfilling lives. Meanwhile Envy, a superior being, is empty inside. Instead of thinking on these feelings, Envy decided to lash out at humans to ease the pain. And it found some degree of happiness to drag others down.

And when Envy was brought low, Ed expressed pity and compassion instead of the cruelty and mockery Envy expected. And that was the last straw.

As Envy died, it referred to Ed by name for the first time.

Roy's eyes are hidden after watching Envy commit suicide. He called Envy a coward for doing so. Was he grieving or angry. Or maybe he was reflecting on his own life. I wonder if Roy's ever thought of taking his own life. Has he ever had moments where the guilt of Ishbal was so great he considered if he should just die right then?

We don't see him alone often, but when he was reminiscing about Ishbal in chapter 58, he looked like he was struggling to not break down and cry.

And that's another plot thread resolved.

Back in Central HQ, the Central troops have decided to ally with Major General Armstrong.

She's lost the use of her right arm, likely broken when she fell through the rubble in chapter 92. She's still very capable with a sword in her off-hand though.

And when Alex Louis Armstrong regains use of his left arm, he puts on a display of his strength and Alchemy. But he doesn't refer to it as a technique passed down from the Armstrong line. It is HIS perfect muscles and superior Alchemy.

Alex believes his skills are worthy to be called his own because he now fights for a cause he believes in.

That scene with the tank firing on Central HQ seems to be the exact same scene of it from last chapter. The same guy is even reporting in.

FALMAN YOU TRAITOR!! Are you sticking with Briggs cause they made you a 2nd Lieutenant?

It’s the final arc so everyone is returning.

Nina Trauma Count: 8

back

[tonydaddingham]

My analysis on their psyche was right but at what cost..

I expected it to happen but I failed to realize that they would start it so late in the season and conclude it in s.3. But in this misery I decided to do more analysis and theorizing. In the context of the ending of s.2 (it's stupidly long and yet this is only half my ideas)

I do feel this was both of their lowests and super dysfunctional, but it needed to happen. Crowley needed to finally talk about his feelings and what he wants because it's valuable. In my opinion that kiss was less of a tempt and more a moment of consolation for himself. "This might just be the last time we talk, I might never get the change, maybe this can change things" he definitely still has his issues. Aziraphale as a character who currently has the arc of someone indoctrinated ends up dismissing and putting down Crowley's entire being.

As for s.3 I think we're definitely seeing them apart for a while. I said it from the beginning, they need to grow by themselves, they cannot dump their problems on each other (parallel to Nina and Maggie). They each need to have their character arc, aziraphale is definitely going to be more overt considering how much we saw how his philosophy is all over the place (the amount of mental gymnastics thus man goes though to maintain his beliefs just reeks of religious cults) but still is stuck in this toxic relationship with heaven.Yeah Neil is definitely gonna make this hard for aziraphale

But Crowley I think is gonna be less overt, though this definitely confirms to me atleast that we need to see how Crowley falls. Every issue stems from there. Both of them need to realize that being kind, nice and loving isn't a "angelic" trait. Crowley makes this reasons to why he's never good enough or unforgivable  and has tendencies to worship aziraphale, trying to do everything he can. While aziraphale thinks that means Crowley wants to be an angel and that he'd be better as it (more into the superiority issue). And then that feeds into Crowley's issue and becomes a whole mess.

Taking time away for aziraphale to realize what heaven truly is BY himself. Yeah it's the reality check he needs. Honestly both of them should just go to therapy. Ones indoctrinated other ones got religious trauma.

Ps: metatron planned this, that look he gave Crowley and the music getting sinister. I almost expected him to walk out and tell aziraphale to kill him off. He knew what he was doing.

@ocean-cloud im so sorry im only getting to your ask now, it's been a mad 36 hours for my inbox✨ i 100% agree with you on every single point; s3 imo really needs to be the complete stripping down and rebuild of their characters, separate from each other, and then look at building them back together as a couple!!!✨

[getosugurusbangs]

Do you mind if I ask your top 10 favorite characters (can be male or female) from all of the media that you loved (can be anime/manga, books, movies or tv series)? And why do you love them? Sorry if you've answered this question before.....Thanks....

thank you for the ask! and no, i haven’t answered this question before, i rarely get asks so it’s never come up lol

a couple disclaimers before actually getting into the list 1. these aren’t in any particular order, more just in the order i thought of the characters. 2. from most of these, there are other characters that i love just as much if not more than the character listed, i just put a certain character on this list for more specific reasons, or because i have a better understanding of them. 3. i tried to refrain from adding too much jjk, but it still happened so… i apologize 😔 i can’t help myself (and also, all characters listed are from anime/manga)

list under the cut!

satoru gojo from jujutsu kaisen. what hasn’t been said about him at this point? he’s a very lovable and endearing character in general (obviously) but one thing that’s very cool to me about him, is that a lot of his character is left up to the viewer’s imagination. he’s definitely a character where you can project a lot, and make really whatever you want of him. it can be a double edged sword sometimes, but i still think it’s something cool about him.

suguru geto from jujutsu kaisen. can’t have gojo on the list without his soulmate. there’s so much to me that’s interesting about him that it’s hard to narrow it down enough for this list. as sad as it is to watch, i do really like his spiral at the end of hidden inventory arc. i think it’s very neat how his mental decline really shows more of the true nature of the jujutsu society they’re part of, and how cruel it is to it’s own people. on a similar note to that, it’s very interesting seeing the way geto truly is (his mentalities, his personality, etc. not his morals) get continuously revealed during his defection and post jujutsu high.

maki zenin and mai zenin from jujutsu kaisen. if i was already putting multiple jjk characters on this list, they had to be here too. i looooove their arc together, and everything they’ve (whether on purpose or not) done to each other. i honestly do just think the concept of two cursed twin girls coming from a horrible, at the top of the food chain clan, and attempting to thrive outside of it despite everything, is super cool. i love them separately as characters, but them together makes me even more deranged…

nicholas d. wolfwood from trigun/trigun maximum. apparently i have a thing for dudes who have big tits, are doomed by the narrative, and are associated with a religion 💀 also whenever i talk about trigun, unless specified otherwise, i’m specifically talking about the manga or og anime, not the reboot. anyways, i really like his development as a person over the course of the series. and how in the end, he ended up adopting more of vash’s ways than he may have anticipated. vash and wolfwood’s relationship, considering who they are as people and what they have going on, is crazy to me ngl

anna/nina liebert from monster. i love naoki urusawa’s portrayal of women, and just people in general in his work, and how realistic it is. if you haven’t read or watched monster, GO DO IT!!! it’s one of the best manga i’ve read so far. i haven’t seen any of his other works yet, but i’ve heard good things. i love how she’s an overall badass, kind and compassionate person, while still working towards her goals and simultaneously working through her trauma. she’s just a very neat character to me!

shinji ikari from neon genesis evangelion. i may sound insane saying this depending on how you feel about him but hear me out 😭 he gets a lot of hate, which i do understand, but i do like him, okay? (i’m not going to acknowledge the end of evangelion movie. i will NOT watch it) i think with him, and other teenage characters going through very traumatic situations like him, people forget that they’re literally children going through that? and treat them like they’re adults going through it when they’re absolutely not, and that really bothers me!! despite how he can come off as pathetic sometimes, i do appreciate the way he’s portrayed. he’s overall a very relatable character, and is (at least to me) pretty endearing at times. i like how in the endings of both the anime and the manga, it’s pretty open-ended for him. most of what i say about his character could be applied to asuka, too.

hitori gotou/bocchi from bocchi the rock. she’s just a teenage girl who loves music and has social anxiety and she’s so real for that!!! it’s been a while since i watched bocchi the rock, and i also just don’t have a lot to say here, i just really like her and the way her social anxiety is portrayed, as someone who goes through it myself.

reki kyan from sk8 the infinity. again, i don’t have a ton to say here honestly. he’s very personally relatable to me, especially in his relationship with langa and such. as a queer person who skateboards, sk8 the infinity is the shit!!

yatora yaguchi from blue period. i love his character development in the beginning of the series, but in general too. i just love how he goes from a (slightly boring) respectable highschooler, on his way to a normal job and life, to then suddenly having a passion for art ignited within him, and changing his entire life’s path. i love how his art’s progression is shown, and various other conversations about art. blue period is one of the reasons i never want to go to art school lol

reigen arataka from mob psycho 100. what can i say, he’s just a goofy con man!! i love the additional comedy he adds to the series, despite his character being a little… sad and pathetic all things considered. he’s a wet cat of a man, but i love him for it, yknow? i also love the voice acting for him in the japanese dub of the show. (sakurai takahiro kinda sucks as a person, but he’s still a talented voice actor) there are also certain things about him that are kinda hilarious ngl..

i hope this is what you were asking for, or at least that you enjoyed this because this took a while to actually write out LMAO

[sainteda]

Hiya! I saw this gifset of Kit speaking about the Wesper slow burn romance in the book vs the fast-paced relationship in the show, and I just thought I'd share it with you 😅

[Link]

hello! <3

thank you for sharing!! i don't keep up with panels or cast stuff at all anymore so i prob would have never seen this otherwise.

i've seen a few people make the same point kit makes, and i think what frustrates me is that the problem with show!wesper isn't necessarily a lack of realism or age-appropriateness (i don't actually know who is arguing that) but the error in the heart of the adaptation. because yes, sure, with older characters certain behaviour will change, so the new dynamics makes Sense (although i would like to say adding more sex is quite literally just the least challenging way of portraying an aged-up character, it is absolutely not a requisite for maturity or realism lol) — but why should it have to?? why adapt a series with the crows as half-fledged, aged-up backdrop characters (who later overshadow the supposed central plot in repeated bouts of cheap fan service) instead of one where they keep their original ages? in the duology, the crows being teenagers is literally crucial to the theme of the story. everything is 10x more impactful and devastating because of how young they are. those ages have purpose. changing them has more consequences than just changing wesper, but i'll never shut up if i start talking about them and i briefly mentioned a few qualms in The Essay, so...

obviously i don't expect kit to say/believe that the show is splintered at its core and tear apart the whole thing but yk 😭

yes, based on the changes, there's nothing illogical about a fast-paced wesper, but also — "if we're a slow burn, everyone's a slow burn" — GOOD?!!!! i have never ever met anyone who doesn't like a slow burn. it's not like slow burns pigeonhole their ships into repetitive tropes; they're universal and can be done a thousand different ways. show!wesper, however 'logical' their development may be as adults (and i'd argue the rush, the forgotten one night stand, the appalling lack of wylan as an individual and the half-hazard attempt at jesper's arc leaves Much to be desired) lacks the deliberately paced mutual longing, (mis)understanding, acceptance, trust, and love that makes book!wesper so great.

i've already talked about my discomfort with show!wesper as the only built and established lgbtq+ rep considering fivan vanished this season and if you blinked you could have missed tamadia entirely, but i will reiterate again that i think that's where A LOT of people's discomfort stems from as well. i think some people arguing in favour of show!wesper might be missing that aspect because it's a very individual, personal gripe. i won't pretend six of crows didn't lean into the bi promiscuity stereotype occasionally, but i've always loved nina and jesper and honestly never felt misrepresented or offended reading either of them. they were both capable, full characters with plenty of other attributes, virtues and vices like all the other characters. on the other hand, a fast paced lazily aged wesper, the liberal handling of jesper as comedic relief with an established pattern for sleeping around (including during important missions), the lack of mention for nina's sexuality OR explicit recognition of jesper's for that matter, all rubbed me the wrong way. personally. and that's not to mention wylan's disability being used as a prop for wesper angst, making me get angry all over again about the way kaz's disability was handled and inej's trauma and and and...

listen, i could complain forever and still find more to complain about. it'll just go on and on. sorry, once i get started i don't know how to be normal or rational about this show, i hope you don't regret your message and ty again 😭

[casliveblog]

Custom Toonami Block Week 202 Rundown

Code Geass: Rozé of the Recapture: We start out with a cold open of CC and Lelouch in a place that looks remarkably like Ahch To from the Force Awakens, guess they’re off in the land of banished original series characters with Luke Skywalker, doesn’t really tell us much except ‘hey shit’s happening’ and I still haven’t seen Resurrection so idk how that’s even possible and I’m kind of ideologically opposed to resurrecting Lelouch especially if he’s just here to be an emotionless guide like CC. Meanwhile Cornelia meets with the other Black Knights and turns out THE DAMOCLES AND FLEJA ARE STILL AROUND!? I thought the first objective of destroying Lelouch’s reign of terror would be dismantling the giant nuke satellite that nearly plunged the world into Authoritarian Terror but that’s just me. While everyone’s debating whether Fake Sakuya will have a Britanian or Japanese allegiance, Rozé shows them the evidence that Sakuya is a figurehead and while she won’t be of much help to the cause as Empress, their real enemy is the Char Aznable knockoff pulling the strings. The new Knights flush the remnants of the other resistance groups towards the Seven Stars so they have no choice but to join forces in an uneasy alliance, planning to use their bickering and the Fleija to wipe them all out at once. Rozé finally decides that purple-haired girl will be the ace pilot since the machine will bring out her hidden strength but none of these side characters have been developed enough for me to particularly care about that decision, personally I was just rooting for Discount Alexis Rhodes because titites. Nina arrives to show off the new Anti-Fleija tech which makes it so they don’t have to do Lelouch’s insane typing shit anymore and they just have to get it within 100 meters which they still say is really hard but considering Lelouch did noclip speedrunner frame perfect typing to do it the first time this is a hell of a lot easier. I’m kind of on the fence about Nina like I like that she’s doing her best to help but I feel like the pace of the show doesn’t really let her explore her feelings about it because they just have her burst into tears at the drop of a hat about all the blood on her hands, with as much time has passed I feel like she should be on a more solemn quiet determination route and not just bawling every time she thinks about it but I’m not the trauma police. Britannia reveals its goal of bombing the same ghetto for like the third time and keeping the Japanese inside in the most telegraphed trap in the world but hey, gotta beat the Nuke Satellite sometime so might as well. This is legitimately the same thing they did when they found out Ohgi’s group came from there before except they didn’t announce it so everyone just died, like is there even anyone left in that area?

Ranma ½: It’s time for another arc and after Pig!Ryoga is left in an ice skating ring he gets abducted by a bratty figure skating pair who quickly get on Akane and Ranma’s respective bad sides and apparently you can just slap martial arts into anything because they’re also ice skating martial artists and prove it by doing a 100-man Kumite (whacha wah). Only problem is Ranma doesn’t know how to skate so he turns into a girl to try and learn since he’s more comfortable being clumsy without his toxic masculinity getting in the way. And this just makes me wonder shouldn’t he turn into a girl as soon as he falls on the ice and his body heat melts some of it? How much water is needed to transform him because it’s probably a thin layer but it’s across several points of his body but he also obviously doesn’t work when he sweats or cries or anything so they say he has to be “splashed” with water to transform, does the splashing motion actually contribute something, does it have to be enough water to make a splash? Either way the guy figure skater hits on Girl!Ranma and Ranma ends up joining Naruto and Sasuke in the club of having a quirky technically gay first kiss. Was figure skating really this big in the nineties because Sailor Moon did an episode basically exactly like this, I guess that was around the time of the whole Tonya Harding thing so maybe? Either way Ranma and skater boi fight and even though Ranma can’t skate he still gets enough hits in to knock the guy out while getting tossed around. Akane and Ranma do have a nice little heart to heart about kissing and almost kiss before quirky shenanigans ensue, it goes to show they’ve advanced from genuinely begrudging allies to more deep into awkward tsundere territory.

Arcane: It’s timeskip time, apparently about seven years or so is all the time Piltover needs to basically use instant transmission to warp shit across the globe in what I can assume the gates from Cowboy Bebop were supposed to look like before they fucking exploded, but I’m sure the radical technology all the wise old elders are worried about will not cause any devastating problems and everything will be fine because that’s how these series work. Jayce has gone from guy everyone wants locked in his room to the new Steve Jobs ready to give a speech about the new Hexphone 7, Cait has gone from basically not existing narratively to cool CSI lady and I am enjoying her greatly, and Jinx is… ummm doing kinda rough. Like she’s gotten a lot better at fighting and has fallen into her Harley Quinn archetype pretty well complete with awkwardly intimate connection to her boss but she’s also gone full Gollum when talking to herself and botches a hijacking when someone reminds her of a much less jacked Vi. Either way Jayce has made NEW orbs of destruction that are less explody and more powerful than the old crystallized nitroglycerin and Professor Porg gives a projected estimate that reflects his Yoda-like lifespan which doesn’t exactly sit well with him despite there clearly being some bugs, like maybe split the difference and go with a two year rollout instead of ten years, like it took SEVEN years from creating the shit to making the whole city run on magic wifi so I think upgrading to the next model shouldn’t take more than half that. In the end though Jayce does agree to not unveil the new super orbs even though if video games have taught us anything it’s that you can reveal a number floating in space and say “comes out whenever” and people will still be hyped, you’d think a video game property of all things would know that. Still Jinx’s daddy issues get the better of her and she blows up the place containing the new shit and steals them just like she did before, murdering dozens of people in the process. Jayce’s reaction to tis is so humble and reserved they promote him on the spot given he is kind of the science guy that has the workings of all the shit their city runs on so that’s probably fair. Cait’s caught up in the explosion and it only redoubles everyone around her trying to put her in a lame duck job where she won’t actually do anything despite her being the cop trope of “I GOTTA BE ON THE BEAT, ON THE STREETS BRO THE STREEEETS!” and given that Jinx has literally painted her calling card all over all of her shit, she’s able to follow the trail and go visit the guy they captured from the botched robbery only to find Prison Vi has already beaten the shit out of him and is currently sexily punching shit in a jail cell as you do.

Dandadan: Now that things with the Silky are cleared up, Aira still thinks everyone involved are demons but has fallen in love with Okarun and thinks she’s in Inuyasha and vows to wrest control of him from Momo. Meanwhile they also play baseball to get him his first ball back but are quickly out of leads on the second. Okarun makes excuses to get out of hanging with Momo because he wants to do his Deku nerd to jock transformation as quickly as possible and unfortunately ends up in a falling on top of Aira situation when she wants to reenact porn with him. Momo sees this at JUST the wrong time and ends up getting pissy about it despite not actually being in a relationship with him yet, though it’s understandable she is also mad he lied to her and even though Okarun doesn’t get to explain he at least admits that part was wrong but it doesn’t change much except flipping the ‘train more’ switch in his brain. While experimenting on Super Shrimp, Momo, Okarun and Aira are all transported to a pocket dimension of the school where the water’s about ankle deep and rising, Momo getting stalked by a Nessy that’s firin’ its lazor and the other two combating a boxing shrimp and the Pixie Aliens from before, convinced of the worth of Okarun’s dick because of his transformation. Just when they have him on the ropes, Aira activates her own Silky transformation and is ready to combine skillful acrobatics with her own unique brand of sociopathy to save the day.

Gleipnir: The gang find Shuuichi and Chihro out in the woods and it’s quickly obvious Shuuichi doesn’t remember going all Hollow but Chihiro does, and there are several blank patches in Shuuichi’s past regarding Claire’s sister and their friend group that only become more obvious the more people he talks to from Sayaka’s group. Claire confronts Chihiro about it but she’s kinda cold and just tells her that since they work more like a ying and yang than being on the same wavelength they’ll never be able to transform like that. Claire brings a lot of her sexual baggage into this exchange and says some weird stuff but I’m kind of used to that from this show by now. Shuuichi is slowly coming to terms with the fact that between his powers not fitting his personality and now the new transformation, he’s not someone with superpowers but someone to be used as a superpower by others, he’s basically a projection board for anyone he can sync up with and that’s kind of a neat angle on it, like I don’t expect it to actually play out with anybody except a handful of the hot girls of the show because of the sexual metaphor he’s not gonna be doing it with any of the dudes but it is a mildly interesting angle to take it on. Chihiro calls Claire’s sister because… she didn’t change phones after joining Organization XIII I guess, like she said she never even gave Claire her number but Chihiro got the number from Shuuichi’s memories so anyone who had the number, few and far between they may be, still has it. You’d think the first thing you’d do after becoming a domestic terrorist would be get a burner phone but okay. Chihiro tells her about the blanks in Shuuichi’s memories and believes she’s the one he needs to combine with in order to be complete and I was just kidding with the Organization XIII stuff but this did get all Kingdom Hearts very quickly. She says she’s gone full villain now so she’s not going to hesitate to kill even him now which I highly doubt given she basically creamed herself the first time they saw each other and saved him the last time so it’s pretty doubtful she’ll be kill on sight this time regardless of how she fronts to the Organization.

Trigun: Vash kinda walks right in on a hostage situation because he has his airpods in and as always it’s hard to tell how much is cloaked instinct and how much is dumb luck with Vash. The mayor’s daughter is the main hostage while Milly and Meryl are along for the ride as always. They send in a bunch of psycho mercenaries who shoot first and ask questions later but Vash takes them out while notably not shooting them and Milly gets to fire her claw gatling gun thing and it’s really pretty cool. It’s always really hard to do gun anime with a pacifist protagonist but if Lycoris Recoil can do it then Trigun can do it, and at least Milly says she’s glad he didn’t shoot too. The head robber reveals he just wants to hurt the mayor since he killed everyone who built the town after taking over so he had sole rights to the place and his daughter’s mostly an innocent spoiled child in all this. Vash negotiates the demands and the robber gets to draw on the mayor to get his revenge but both he and the sheriff note he’s not the same man anymore and time and love for his daughter have changed him and orphaning a girl as revenge for being orphaned isn’t right, so he lets him off with a shot in the shoulder. The sheriff tries to turn this into a police escalation case and Meryl reveals she’s fucking STRAPPED with dozens of noisy cricket sized guns and disarms everyone so Vash can gloat over the sherrif about love and peace and how this was all solved without bloodshed. Good episode, I like that we finally have Milly and Meryl’s skillsets set up and that they too are designed for non-lethal gunplay probably even better so than Vash’s weapons, starting to lean more into the themes of pacifism despite an unjust world and I’m enjoying it.

Revolutionary Girl Utena: So Juri’s old crush Shiori is back at the school and keeps trying to make up with her, with Utena even telling Juri to forgive her since she did that thing where she sits in the girl’s room and talks and now they’re friends forever. Meanwhile Nanami has taken over for Touga and actually starts investigating the whole ‘Miki got a sword yanked out of him’ case two episodes too late but to be fair last episode she was busy being a cow. Juri finally tells Shiori she’s not mad about the boy because she never liked him anyway, no one knows that it’s actually Shiori Juri loved. With this reintroduction, Juri’s pain is too much to bear and she tosses her locket with Shiori’s picture into the lake, only for it to mysteriously show up on Shiori’s desk still wet from the lake. And then we get to what’s probably my favorite Interview sequence so far, so Shiori is FUCKED FUCKED, since Juri was the talented and strong one that always protected her, she wanted to take the love of someone she perceived she liked to equal their dynamic by being better than her at something, but now that she knows it’s herself that Juri loves, she holds Juri’s heart in the palm of her hand with all the sadistic glee that entails. Now instead of hurting her by stealing something away from her, she can hurt her just by existing because she is Juri’s most precious thing and that gets Shiori off HARD, it’s unclear how much of this is true and how much is the black rose’s manipulation but it’s kind of unsettling to watch as she takes pleasure in making Juri’s stoic demeanor crack and making her vulnerable and in pain. She gets the sword out of Juri and fights Utena and you know how that goes, blah blah absosulte destiny apocalypse, gold-plated Shangri-la, Dios Thrust. Shiori and Juri recover and are at least on speaking terms but not as close as before and Juri can’t bring herself to cut Shiori off and their toxic-ass relationship is free to continue another day and I am kinda here for it.

[riverofempathy]

Okay, but with the pic of Nina and Maggie, I desperately wish they had switched spots because Nina only seems angelic because she’s nice and optimistic and Maggie only seems demonic because she’s jaded and rarely smiles. But Nina is the one who flips off the demons and is so desperately in love that all of us can see it but she’s scared to confess (plus the actress’ role in S1 was a Satanic nun who wasn’t particularly nice). Maggie is the one who stayed in an abusive/toxic relationship despite other people trying to show her the red flags and she tried desperately to live according to that partner’s impossibly high standards, and she isn’t ready for romance yet because of that toxic relationship—she wasn’t even ready to be stuck in her shop with someone else because of what that partner would think (and the actress’ role in S1 was a Satanic nun who was incredibly nice and sweet and cute).

Technically, they both have parallels to Crowley and Aziraphale. Just like Crowley and Aziraphale each go along with hell or heaven as far as they can but do/say things that go against their alleged “nature.” But I think that only proves my point more.

At the surface, Aziraphale and Maggie are sweet and bubbly and prone to bawling in front of others; but they will absolutely cut a bitch to protect their own, so they don’t really belong to heaven. Maggie certainly doesn’t. She asks just enough questions and is even getting bold enough to express her romantic feelings even if it’s not the right time… just like Crowley.

At the surface, Crowley and Nina are rough around the edges and not afraid to speak their mind about controversial opinions, no matter how blunt or rude they come across. They use the pet name Angel for the person they care about because that’s how they see them, and regardless of their doomed love life, they still get all soft and smiley about other people falling in love… which is actually something an angel would do. Crowley would have stayed an angel if he’d been allowed to (ask questions) but he most certainly does not act like a demon, not at his core. And neither does Nina. She’s always trying to do the right thing (what she believes/has been told is the right thing), even when it hurts her, even when it’s actually obviously the wrong thing… just like Aziraphale. And we start to see Nina have the arc that Aziraphale will have once he breaks free from heaven. Nina goes from being devastated that her relationship with Lindsay is over, to realizing Lindsay never actually liked her very much, to knowing that she deserves better, and that one day when she’s ready, she could be with someone who does love her very much.

Maybe Maggie represents Crowley with less trauma, or the Crowley before he fell combined with some snippets of how he is after he fell, and maybe with a century or two of therapy. And Nina represents Aziraphale as he is now, and as he will be.

HI CAN WE TALK ABOUT HOW THE METATRON IS THE DEMON ON AZIRAPHALE'S SHOULDER IN THIS SHOT

literally has anyone done a full analysis of the shoulder symbolism in this show yet it's so- 😭

like, s1 we have

And of course my beloved

and now in s2 we have this

and this

does this count?

also THIS from the edinburgh minisode (crowley is the angel on aziraphale's shoulder here)

what does it all MEANNNN

[sixofbabycrows]

the thing is even if the writing of the soc spinoff is supposedly better, it doesn’t really change things for me cause the things they did to the crows’ character arcs in sab s2 are pretty much irreversible. they killed off tante heleen, barely addressed inej’s trauma in general and already put her on a slavers hunting ship, so they basically sniped her entire arc and scenes like climbing up the chimney just wouldn’t have the impact they’re supposed to. jesper’s inner struggle with his grisha powers was solved by one pep talk from the shu saint and suddenly it’s not a problem anymore. yeah wylan still has the whole thing with his father, although the way they used his dyslexia only for wesper conflict was in really poor taste in my opinion. kaz already had his face-off with pekka, which also removes his main motivation for everything he did in the books and they used some of the most pivotal scenes of ck already. they haven’t butchered nina and matthias entirely cause they were pretty much sidelined the entire season so there’s that ig.

the thing i love the most about the books is the character arcs and relationships. yes the ice court heist is cool, but it was never the main thing that made these books so lovable - it was always the characters. so they might still recreate the plot somehow, but the essence that made it so great in the first place will be missing.

[actuallyidontgiveadamn]

Really out of nowhere but I rewatched some of fma03 eps and im gonna rant

I'm just so done with smiling politely saying that fma03 and fmab are both great sorry i cant anymore. Just no

So if you in love with fmab im warning you it probably won't be a good read for you, so feel free to ignore this, block me or idk read this and give it a thought

0. I really dont understand the glorification of manga over anime adaptations. Like people who are making the adaptation are not artists and creators themselves? What makes mangaka better than others and absolutely indisputable, seriously?

1. 'Oh no long introduction and fillers' that actually allowed for Hughes' character development before his death. Seriously if i mention his death among my homies I'll get lots of faces clearly going through some ptsd level flashbacks, it was that impactful. I still need to take a breather when im rewatching before diving into that ep.

2. Nina. Yet again got more time to grow on us and thus aquired higher trauma inducing levels.

3. Ishval massacre and aftermath are WAY MORE VISIBLE in fma03. First of all Ishvalans are depicted as human beings, and not some background, and we get lots more on their sufferings, raids on camps, racism towards them, etc etc etc

4. Scar. Oh boi how do i even go about this. So without raging much about that beefy obviously wrong dude who got 'sense' bitten into him and started working with the oppressing gov in fmab, we have a wronged and tormented survivor of a genocide, who was justified in his vengeance and rage, was depicted as an attractive person of color despite his antagonistic role and was seriously almost cheered on in his actions by the narrartive. His interactions with his people and his moral dilemmas made his character possibly the deepest and most thought out one in the series.

5. The Rockbell doctors being killed by their own government. That's a waaaaay more interesting and damning detail on our government affiliated protagonists than just dumping their murder on a delirious patient.

6. Homunculi had their own will and desires and a way more developed story arc that had a huge impact on protagonists' morals. Being created by the humans who were desperate to bring back their loved ones and both parties are getting tormented by it?? Characters strongly driven by their own goals and staggered by their relations to their creators vs some indifferent goons in fmab. Just compare Sloths and their impact on the stories and protags.

7. Final conflict being a fight with god and his intricate plans in fmab, versus final battle vs a selfish pretty much usual person who had thrown everyone under the bus in pursuit of immortality. Adds so much more desperation flavor. Suddenly your hero journey doesn't end in epic battle for the sake of the mankind, as you would like it to be. It's just to oppose one awful person with too much power and zero care about anyone else. That's raw and that's way more plausible and relatable in our mundane lives.

8. Overall darker tone and themes of the fma03.

9. MUSIC. I dont remember a single track from fmab, but i went really out of my way in my teenage years to find internet access and pirate fma soundtrack and cry listening to it

10. ART. Sorry but don't tell me fmabs flat colors are anything to 03's soft tones and lighting

So yeah sorry, but I'll take the dark and gritty tragedy over just another shounen with doubtful messages each and every time

[givehimthemedicine]

❤️ Max is El's heart ❤️

Let's talk about El, Max, Mike, Vecna, and hearts.

For all the talk of Mike being the heart, do you wanna explain to me why there's a literal heartbeat sound effect used in Vol2, and it doesn't involve Mike whatsoever?

We hear it prominently when El finds Max tranced out in the void, takes hold of her hand, and commences piggybacking. And later when El spins the coke bottle and goes looking for Max in the void. (video down below because I can only put one per post)

The second one's like, ok sure, naturally El would have a specific interest in Max's heartbeat at this point, she restarted it herself. But why do we hear a huge heartbeat noise in the first clip, before it's relevant?

Which of their hearts is this supposed to be?

Is it El's heartbeat, like to illustrate that she's concentrating really hard? I'm not sold on that, because there was no heartbeat noise the other times she piggybacked.

Is it Max's heartbeat? Like, El literally feeling her pulse? If so, they passed on the most obvious applications for it (the heart-restarting scene, and the hospital scene where her heart is definitely beating again - El is touching her both times. In the coke bottle clip she isn't).

I think it's both. Like, their hearts syncing up when El is channeling her. If you listen really close in the coke bottle clip, this time the heartbeat is paired with a faint beeping - Max's heart monitor. It's an elmax heartbeat, both of them together.

That'd be a bit cheesy, these two are bffs and all, but why would they have some random special cardiac bond?

El and Max's hearts both stopped. Because of Vecna. On the same day.

When El uncovered her repressed memory of getting Vecna'd, it was so traumatic that she went into cardiac arrest.

It was that night that Max also suffered such trauma from getting Vecna'd that her heart stopped.

Narratively, Max had to die a death that El could fix (I don't think you can telekinesis your way out of exploded eyeballs). El evidently took a minute to combine realizations that Max was dead because of a stopped heart, and that that was something she could do something about. She remembered this happening to herself literally just hours ago, and that it involved not just mechanical intervention but love.

The elmax memory montage is not pure sentiment to pass the time while she does whatever hocus pocus with her hand - it actually plays a role (or at least El thinks it does).

Where else do we hear heart noises in V2?

El uncovers her full 001 showdown memory in which she's about to be killed, but then remembers um her own birth, where we hear baby El crying, the beeping of her mom's heart monitor in the delivery room, and her mom saying "Jane, I love you."

Love gives young El the power to "no u" 001 and yeet him through the wall, but the trauma sends present El into cardiac arrest and the lab folks fish her out of NINA and put her on the table and shock her heart back on. And now we hear El's heart monitor as well as a couple isolated heartbeats as she comes back to consciousness, crying a little bit, still thinking about the memory of her mom loving her.

In the void clip, we hear the heartbeat after El says "it's okay, I'm coming" and Max might be crying a little bit? Not sure if that's crying or just trance-distress noises idk but I'm trying to find a pattern here. In the coke clip, El is crying and there's both heartbeat and heart monitor beeping. And she's obviously thinking about how she loves Max in both scenes.

El got her heartbeat (love) from her mom and then gave it to Max.

Here's everything: (you might need earphones or good speakers, my phone misses the heartbeat completely)

This is a picture of familial and platonic love

the importance of which I think has been key to Max and especially El in 4, and which I think and hope will be the conclusion to El's arc, as she realizes romantic love isn't the end-all. Romantic love plays no role in El's heartbeat thing.

Interestingly, Max's Vecna escape does include romantic love, because that lesson isn't hers to learn. She already knows romantic and platonic are both important - besides including clips of the whole party, Lucas and El hold roughly neck-and-neck importance in her memories. Equivalent memories for El would have been of the party in general but especially Mike and Max, and... no, not at all. 100% Max.

During the monologue there's only one flashback (the party finding El in the woods), but it seems more likely Mike's memory because he brought it up. Anyway, what he says in reference to it is a lie, so even if that is her memory, she feels no love from it - in fact, when she's staked everything on those words, finally hearing them and knowing they're a lie has to hurt more than not being told in the first place.

So for El that's a win for platonic, a win for familial, and a fail for romantic. I don't think their point here is "platonic/familial rules and romantic drools" but rather that milkvan is not a specimen of true love.

Run to the light

Some very similar imagery of Max and El's visions as they escape Vecna.

Where is El headed? To the delivery room, being born, where she takes her first breath and starts crying, and there's someone there who loves her.

Where is Max headed? To the graveyard, deciding she doesn't wanna die after all, where she takes her first breath and starts crying, and there are people there who love her. Also, at moments, that hole is shaped sorta like a heart

Mike is the heart, but not for El

Will thinks Mike being the heart is a universal thing, when really it just applies to him, which is why this doesn't work for El. (I made the ultimate sacrifice and watched the monologue to make sure there was no heartbeat. if you're reading this you owe me a dollar)

If anybody is "the heart" for El it's Max, which is why she gets the power to fight only when she quits looking for love in Mike's speech where there is none, and looks over at Max where there is. Like how Max gets her breakthrough power predominantly from an El memory. ❤️

Speaking of hearts and old memories,

Can we talk about this moment real quick before we go?

Why did they have El say "your heart" here? because A) nowhere in that scene did anybody use the word heart and B) nobody has ever said "heart" to or in front of El in a non literal context and I would've been iffy about her being familiar with this use of it. It's almost like they really just wanted the word heart in there?

Anyway, El's only concern at the time is Mike, but you gotta love the visual hint that she has Max in the back of her mind.

So what happened in that scene El is referring to?

If El knows Mike was talking to Max that day at the cabin, it means she heard that entire conversation. In addition to Mike blurting out that he loved her, she also heard Max sticking up for her and caring about her having her own identity and agency and independence.

You know, the same topics that held a lot of emphasis in the memories El had of Max while she was restarting her heart?

There's more to life than stupid boys! (The fact is, she's not yours.)

Not Hopper. Not Mike. You. (She's her own person,)

Holy shit, this is insane. Is this really gonna work? (fully capable)

Which one? (of making her own decisions.)

Against the rules? We make our own rules. (I did not make her. It was her idea.)

El didn't just restart Max's heart to a "good times El had with Max" montage - it was a "reasons El loves Max" montage.

❤️❤️❤️❤️