#i still hate her and she's still in the wrong boo hoo i don't care

[dragonhotcoffee]

I would have put "right people" instead of "haters" but everyone's entitled to their faves lol

[mrsriddles-blog]

bad idea right? | L.B

Pairing: Slytherin Fem Reader X Lorenzo Berkshire

WC: 6k

Warnings/Notes: Mild language, heartbreak, angst, fluff, smut, alcohol, trust issues…

Summary: After your painful breakup with Lorenzo, it seems that he has regrets and he’s not ready to let you go. But, you’re unsure if he can be trusted once more.

Hey

Haven't heard from you in a couple of months

But I'm out right now, and I'm all fucked up

And you're callin' my phone, you're all alone

And I'm sensin' some undertone

"Come onnnn! You need to let loose and have some fun." Pansy whines.

She had been trying to convince you for about an hour to come on the dance floor and dance with her, but you weren't quite sure how you felt about that. Granted, it had been months since you and Enzo broke up, but you'd be lying if you weren't torn up over it still. You weren't ready to get out there as Pansy put it. She was so desperately trying to get you to move on from Enzo, but you weren't ready for that.

"I don't want to. I just wanted to get out of that stuffy Common Room and I wanted to drink....and Mattheo stopped sharing his stash with me." You say, pouting at the end.

"Boo-hoo, your brother didn't want to support you drowning yourself in your sorrows. At least he cares about you." She says.

"Both of my brothers are being all weird about this. It isn't fair." You grumble.

"You guys have that weird triplet bond. They probably can feel how upset you are." She says, looking mildly disturbed.

You did have a bit of a strange bond with your brothers. You guys were always so close growing up, being able to sense when one was in trouble or if one was in pain or if maybe one was simply not feeling the greatest. It wasn't always the greatest thing because if you found yourself feeling sad, then your brothers were there demanding what was wrong.

"I just wanna have fun!" You whine, feeling that light buzz finally wash over you.

"And you can! On the dance floor, with me." She says.

   

"Fineeee." You grumble.

   

You take her hand, begrudgingly getting up as you walk with her to the dance floor. You were awkward, not really wanting to let loose. You tried your best to ignore that feeling of awkwardness as you tried to let loose and enjoy the music. You close your eyes, only to be met with flashes of you and Enzo at a party, dancing so sensually. You open your eyes, Pansy a little bit away as she dances with a random guy.

   

Your phone starts to buzz in your pocket, so you grab it and answer it, not bothering to glance at the caller ID.

   

"Y/n/n, love?" Enzo murmurs.

   

You freeze, unsure of what to do. You hadn't prepared yourself for this yet. You were already heading outside, hoping the cool air would be able to bring you back.

   

"Love? Are you there?" He asks again.

"Yeah." You say quietly.

   

"I was wondering if you would come over so we could talk." He says.

   

You could hear the nervousness in his voice. You could imagine he was pacing around at this very moment, playing with his family ring or running a hand through his hair.

   

"I...I don't know, Lorenzo." You murmur.

   

You heard his sharp intake and your own heart hurt. No one called him Lorenzo. But, calling him Enzo felt wrong if you weren't together anymore. Not to mention, you always called him Enz or Zo. He loved when you called him that.

   

"Enzo...call me Enzo, please...o-or Enz...or Zo...anything, but Lorenzo." He pleads.

   

Your eyes sting with tears, hating how hurt he sounded, all because you. You knew that despite everything that led to your guys' break-up, that he didn't deserve this. You knew Enzo was a follower, he always was. So, when his best mates joke around about him distancing himself because he spent too much time with you or to say something about your outfit or to joke around about you...it hurts, even if you knew he was a follower.

   

Maybe he regretted that now. But, even then, it wasn't okay. It hurt you and when you tried to talk to him about it, his friends laughed and he joined them. Granted, you saw that he didn't hang with those people anymore. He strictly hung with your brothers; Tom and Mattheo, and your close friends; Theodore, Blaise, and Draco.

   

"I...I don't know if I can." You admit quietly, your own voice cracking.

   

“Can you come to my dorm? Please...I just want to talk, love." He pleads.

   

"I...I don't know if that's a good idea." You mumble.

   

It was quiet and your heart was heavy with guilt. You take in a shaky breath, looking around for a moment. You almost thought he hung up when you heard a strangled noise from his side. A tear falls down your cheek, realizing that he was trying not to cry.

   

"I respect that...I hope you're taking care, love." He murmurs.

   

You open your mouth to respond, but you heard the line end. You pull the phone away from your ear and frown, another lone tear falling down your cheek.

And I'm right here with all my friends

But you're sendin' me your new address

And I know we're done, I know we're through

But, God, when I look at you

   

You tried to dance with Pansy, but you found yourself calling it a night early. On your way back to Hogwarts, you found yourself looking at old pictures of you and Enzo, a painful ache in your chest. But, you found yourself in front of Enzo's dorm door, softly knocking. He laid in bed when he heard it, but he wasn't so sure if it was a knock or if someone was walking down the hallway.

You knocked again, a little harder as your heart began to beat violently in your chest. You weren't ready for this in the slightest. But, at the same time...maybe this is what you needed...no, probably not...probably yes...you weren't sure. You just knew you missed Enzo.

My brain goes, "Ah"

Can't hear my thoughts (I cannot hear my thoughts)

Like blah-blah-blah (blah,blah,blah,blah,blah,blah)

Should probably not

I should probably, probably not

I should probably, probably not

   

The door opens to reveal Enzo. His eyes were puffy as if he'd be crying...you knew he had been. You try to give him a small smile, another way you tried to fight back your own tears, but really it just made a lone tear fall down your cheek. You quickly wipe it away, shuffling your feet awkwardly.

   

"I...after you called...I couldn't stop thinking...about us...so, I came to talk like...like you asked earlier...o-of course if you still want to. If not, I'll go." You murmur, your nerves getting the best of you.

   

"I still want to talk, love...I'm just surprised you came...after all...I hurt you. I don't deserve you giving me a chance to talk." He says, his face heating with his own embarrassment.

   

He moves aside, motioning you in. You step into the familiar dorm where you had spent most of your time. You take a seat on the edge of his bed, looking at him to ignore that he still had all of the pictures of you guys hung up. He sits beside you, leaving not much space between you both.

   

"Maybe...maybe not...but I feel like there is a lot being left unsaid." You say quietly, playing with the hem of your dress.

   

"I never should've attempted trying to impress them. If they were my friends, they'd be happy for me...for us. They'd treat you with the respect you deserve." He says.

   

"I'm glad you know that because it did really hurt me. I really thought we were going to be forever, Enzo." You say, smiling sadly.

   

"It's not too late for us to pick up the pieces, love. We can still be forever." He says.

   

Seein' you tonight, it's a bad idea, right?

Seein' you tonight, it's a bad idea, right?

Seein' you tonight, it's a bad idea, right?

Seein' you tonight, fuck it, it's fine

   

You knew things would never be how they were before. You weren't sure if you could ever trust him one hundred percent after everything. You were one who would protect themself with whatever it takes, even if that means keeping people at a distance.

   

You were trying to find the words to tell him your thoughts, but his lips were on yours, kissing you softly. You were frozen at first, before you were melting into the kiss. You found yourself straddling his lap as his hands found your hips as he slowly leaned back, your guys' lips never breaking apart.

Your hands slide up to his hair, gently pulling at the soft locks. He groans into your mouth, pulling you impossibly closer to him. Your hips roll against him, feeling the growing hardness beneath you. His hand sweeps your hair over your shoulder, unzipping your dress as the other hand held your head in place.

You pull back, your lungs burning for air. You shrug the straps off your shoulders, letting the dress pool around your waist. He groans, his eyes falling on your breasts. He rolls over, your back pressed against the soft bed. He sits up, gently pulling your dress down past your hips and down your legs.

          

"N-No panties either, love? This dress is so short, I might have to go beat up any guys that stared too long." He grumbles.

          

Your cheeks flush red, but nonetheless you roll over, crawling to the middle of his bed. You heard his pants unbuckle and you lay back, your heart beating against your chest like a drum.

Yes, I know he's my ex, but can't two people reconnect?

"I only see him as a friend," the biggest lie I ever said

Oh, yes, I know that he's my ex, but can't two people reconnect?

I only see him as a friend, I just tripped and fell into his bed

      

"You are so beautiful, love." He murmurs, hovering above you, having had finally stripped from his clothes.

      

"And you're handsome, Enz." You whisper, looking into those brown eyes that were soft and warm, eyes that lured you in.

       

You moan softly as he sinks into you. The familiar hardness of him sinking inside of you, bit by bit, was tremendously overwhelming. You body still fit with his like a puzzle, yet you always struggled with the thickness of him. It was like your body refused to get use to his cock, but the familiar stretch and sting was pleasurable to you.

You finally felt as if you were at home. He sinks the rest of the way into you, leaning forward and pressing his forehead against yours. Your breaths mingled as you both tried to recover from a sensation you both missed. Being this close was something you both didn't see happening again after the breakup. And the both of you feared that this would still be the last time.

He slowly moves his hips, lifting his head and watching your face for any sign of discomfort. Your eyes were closed, but he desperately wanted to see y/e/c, his favorite. Your lips part as he picks up the pace, a soft moan leaving you.

"Open your eyes, love." He murmurs.

And you did.

Teary eyed as you looked up at him, unsure of what this meant for you both. His hips stutter as his own eyes gloss over. He leans down, kissing you softly as he tried to reassure you that it was okay, they everything would work out.

You hold him closer, afraid that if you let him go that you'd wake up and that this was a dream. You let him make love to you, something he made evidently clear and that this just wasn't sex or a fuck to him.

You went from being underneath him, to him behind you as you buried your face in his sheets, to being on top of him as your rolled your hips and watching him fall to pieces, to his head between your thighs, only for you to suck him off and you found yourself sitting on his face as his tongue did what it usually did when you guys were together.

All the while you sat on his face, rolling your hips and grinding against his face as you held onto the headboard, his hands holding onto to your hips, tears fell down your cheeks as his tongue traced out "I love you" over and over. He did it often when you guys were dating, trying to express how much he loved you.

You let him hold you closer after, your guys' bodies spent as you laid in silence. Your head was rested on his chest, listening to his rhythmic heartbeat. He had an arm wrapped around you, tracing a heart over and over on your hip, your legs entangled with his as his other hand ran through your hair. You had a hand rested on his abdomen, just wanting to be closer to him as your eyes began to close.

Now I'm gettin' in the car, wreckin' all my plans

I know I should stop—, but I can't

And I told my friends I was asleep

But I never said where or in whose sheets

You quietly slid your dress back on, trying not to wake Enzo and to beat everyone before they woke up. You rather do your walk of shame from his dorm in peace. You weren't so sure of where things stood between you and Enzo. You look back to see that he was stirring in his sleep, a hand reaching out to search for you in the empty side of his bed. Your heart ached and you were torn on climbing back into his bed or to leave.

"Stay, a little longer." He murmurs, almost as if he could hear your thoughts.

"This dress is uncomfortable and I'm not sure if being naked again in the best idea right now." You mumble, looking at the heels you held in hand.

"You can wear one of my shirts if you want. I think you still have some clothes in the drawer we put together for you. Although I doubt the shorts fit anymore." He mumbles.

"What?"  You whisper confused.

"Not a bad thing, love. You've been working out a lot from what I've seen and then Pans told me. Your bum has gotten bigger. You can wear a pair of my boxers if you want." He murmurs, eyes still closed.

You were standing there, unsure of what to do. You look at the time and know you should leave because people will be waking up soon.

"Enz, people are going to be waking up soon. I should go." You whisper.

"Just a few minutes and then you can go. But, can we please talk soon? If not now, can we find a time?" He asks as you crawl back into his bed and curl up beside him. 

"Look what talking led to last night, Enz." You whisper.

"Do you regret it?" He asks quietly, but you could hear the fear in his voice.

"No, I don't regret it, Enz. But, I just...I'm so confused and I'm unsure of what I should do." You admit.

"I know, I know you are, love...but please give us a chance to talk. We can go out for coffee if you'd like? That little shop we use to go to." He says.

"Okay...just text me the details you have in mind. I should go. I need to get showered." You murmur, sitting up some to look at his face.

He opens his eyes, watching you for a minute. He brushes a strand of hair behind your ear, his other hands cupping your cheek as his thumb ghosts over your bottom lip.

"If you don't go now, I'll probably end up kissing you and who knows where that will lead." He whispers.

"Go back to sleep, Enz. You look tired." You murmur, kissing his cheek before getting up.

You get to your dorm, letting a breath you didn't know you were holding out. You hurry to your en-suite bathroom, quickly getting in the shower. When you got out, you dressed in a white deep v-neck crop top. You pull on black leggings and a pair of converse. If you could take your last day of the weekend to be in comfy clothes before a torturous week of the formal wear, you'll take it. You dry your hair, but don't have the patience to style it. You put it up in a messy bun before applying mascara and lip gloss.

You meet up with Pansy who was regretting her choices of drinking so much. You guys stop at the bathroom because she felt like throwing up. You waited until she was done and she looked at you funny.

 "I thought you went back to your dorm last night? Did you bring someone back? You've got a hickey." She says.

You go to the mirror and curse when you see a hickey poking out from the collar. You remembered that you'll curse Enzo later before turning back to Pansy, shrugging with a smile.

 "I met someone on my way out. Nice guy." You murmur.

"Mhm...right." She murmurs, not believing you.

You see that Enzo was sitting with your brothers and your guys' shared friends. Pansy tugs at your hand.

"Can we please sit with them today? I know things are rough between you and Enzo, but I really miss all of them." She mumbles.

"Yeah, of course. Enzo and I talked a bit last night. He called me while we were dancing. We are both mature people and we can definitely be friends after everything." You say.

It wasn't a total lie, but you also felt like this was convincing you to be more comfortable with him and the possibility of either being friends or a couple again. You take a seat at the table, surprising the boys before Theodore hugs your tight, leaving a big wet kiss on your forehead.

"Ewww, Theo!" You whine, wiping your head on his shirt.

"I've missed having you around, baby Riddle." He admits.

"You've got to stop calling her that." Pansy laughs.

"She loves it, don't you?" He says.

"I love you." You say, grimacing and he laughs, pulling you into a hug.

"I'll start calling you, bella ragazza." He says, and your lips part at his Italian accent being so thick which only seems to show with him speaking his first language.

 

"What's it mean?" You ask curiously.

"Pretty girl."  He says, smirking.

Enzo's hand tightens around his fork before tensing as a foot plops on his lap. He relaxes when he sees your familiar converse.

       

"No dating you two." Tom grumbles.

       

"Ew, no. She's like a sister to me. But, she hates being called princess, flower, rose, baby riddle, cutie, sunshine, and hun. So, it's pretty girl, but in Italian. It sounds cuter." He says.

       

"I'll try not to be offended that you said we about dating me." You pout.

        

"Oh, you know I love you, but I grew up with you and you were always like that annoying little sister I didn't  realize I wanted. Hey! I was kidding, no need to get violent. Sure, you're pretty and all, but you're not feisty enough for me. Nor, as badass as I prefer." He says.

       

"She is literally the feistiest person ever. And she's scarier than Tom...and our dad. You just have to push the right buttons." Mattheo deadpans.

        

"Hey! Making me grumpy like that makes me feel icky for days! No making me grumpy or you'll all suffer the merciless wrath and you'll understand why our dad fears me. There is a reason our mother is nameless." You say, grinning.

        

"You are the freaking devil." Mattheo grumbles.

You glare at him, making the guys laugh. You pout and Enzo smile slightly at you. Things were starting to feel normal now and it felt nice to be surrounded by your friends and your brothers.

An owl swoops in, dropping a bouquet of flowers in front of you. Your lips part in surprise and your eyes widen briefly before you reach out and grab ahold of the bouquet. You could feel the eyes of your friends on you, the nervousness rising as their gazes flicker from you to Enzo. Enzo's face had flushed red from anger, his eyes darker than normal, his lips in a thin line and his fork was severely bent.

You slide the letter out and carefully open it. You flick open the letter, seeing it was from Tevon Long. He was a Ravenclaw, a year ahead of you. He was asking you out to Hogsmeade because he thought you were pretty.

"Who is it from?" Mattheo asks.

"Tevon Long." You mumble, tucking the note back in the envelope.

"What's he want?" He asks, popping his knuckles.

"Mattheo, you aren't hurting him. He hasn't even done anything. He just want to go out to Hogsmeade. But, I'll just tell him in not interested. See, simple? Sometimes conversations are better than fighting." You say, quirking an eyebrow at him.

"Tevon has a bad temper. It's probably best to take one of us guys when you decide to tell him you're not interested. He gets a little...violent. Unless, of course, you want me to handle him." Mattheo says.

"I can handle it. If he even raises a hand, no promises there'll be a Tevon Long anymore." You say, smiling at him.

"See, the devil." He laughs.

You shake your head, seeing Luna Lovegood walking towards your table.

"Nice flowers, Y/n. I was wondering if you are okay? You seem to be glowing today." She says with confusion.

"Glowing is a good thing, Lu." Pansy says softly, a smile on her face.

"Oh! Okay, that makes sense." She mumbles.

"Here." You murmur, taking a flower from the bouquet and tucking it behind her ear once you broke the stem.

"Thank you, have a good day." She says before walking away while mumbling to herself.

"I've gotta go, see you later." You mumble, deciding to get to class and avoid Tevon.

And I pull up to your place, on the second floor

And you're standin', smiling at the door

And I'm sure I've seen much hotter men

But I really can't remember when

"So, Tevon, huh." Lorenzo says, falling into step beside you.

"I told him off. He didn't like it very much. Theo stepped in because as Mattheo said, he went to get physical. Don't tell Mattheo he's right though. It'll go to his head and that's all we need," you say as you roll your eyes before glancing at him and smirking, "jealous, Berkshire? Green doesn't suit you."

"Jealous? I'm not jealous." He says quickly, his cheeks flushing red.

"Mhm...sure. It seems all the guys have decided it's been long enough since we broke up and now I keep receiving bouquets of flowers and chocolates. I've given most to Luna." You say, deciding to test the waters.

"Most? What about the others?" He asks.

"I kept one...he's a rather sweet guy...shouldn't I open myself up and give them a chance?" You ponder aloud.

You gasp, dropping your books and bag to the floor as your pressed against a nearby wall in the empty corridor. You look up at Enzo in surprise to see dark eyes, ones you didn't quite see often, but you knew he was in fact jealous.

"Okay, you win, love. I'm jealous, but please...do not go out with them. Give me a chance. Let me make things right." He pleads.

"And how do I know you won't just break my heart again?" You murmur, your eyes flickering to his lips.

"Because it's been hell since I fucked things up. Please...just give me a chance. I'm begging you. I'll make it right this time. We can be forever just like we imagined. Please, love." He begs.

"I love it when you beg, Enz. Such a pretty boy. But, I can't just give in to your pleas...not yet. You'll need to prove your worthiness as to why you deserve a chance after the shit you put me through." You say matter-a-factly.

"God, you really are a Riddle." He chuckles, leaning down to kiss your cheeks before bending down to grab your school items.

"Yes, and don't forget that for your own sake." You say, walking away from him with your stuff as he gapes at you.

My brain goes, "Ah"

Can't hear my thoughts (I cannot hear my thoughts)

Like blah-blah-blah (blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah)

Should probably not

I should probably, probably not

I should probably, probably not

The music was loud in the Common Room and it was impossible to hear anyone. You were determined to have a good time though. It was a long week of testing and trying to continue to be stubborn to Lorenzo's attempts to prove he is a worthy of another chance. You were painfully afraid of him breaking your heart again. You weren't sure if you could handle it a second time. You wanted to be sure before making a mistake.

However, you might've forgotten to slow down on the drinks. Now you were dancing on a table with Pansy, a group of guys surrounding the table as they cheered you on.

The guys had assumed you two would be okay while they all went out for some fresh air, some of them just needing a smoke. However, none of them paid attention to the drinks the two of you downed before and during the party. Now you guys were drunk and the only thought on your mind was Lorenzo.

You couldn't stop thinking about his lips—god, his pillow soft pink lips, and not to mention his pretty brown eyes. You loved the way they were so soft, but there were the times you went crazy for those dark eyes staring down at you with desire as he fucked you.

You wanted his hands on your hips, loving how they were large and they were slightly veiny—something you were unaware you were attracted to.

At that very moment, Lorenzo walked in the Common Room first, the guys in tow before they all froze as they watched both you and Pansy in shock.

"Fuck, are they throwing money at us?" Pansy slurs, her lips brushing your ear as this was the only way to listen.

"Mmm, yeah I think so. Are we naked?" You mumble confused.

"No, no..." She mumbles.

"Do you think they can see up our dresses?" You whisper with wide eyes.

"Oh fudge nuggets." Pansy whispers.

They couldn't as the room was fairly dark, the green lights flashing amongst the dark room, but you guys wouldn't know that. The thought was gone soon after and you both were dancing sensually once more on the table as the guys pushes through the crowd.

Tom wraps a hand around your ankle, grasping your attention. He holds a hand out as Draco scoops Pansy off the table, handing her down to Blaise who gently sets her on the floor.

You wobble slightly, reaching a hand out and grabbing Toms hand. Mattheo appeared, taking your other one as you looked at the moving ground with a pale face. Lorenzo steps forward, his hands on your hips as he lifts you off the table and gently sets you on the floor. Your hands held your brothers tightly as you sway.

"Oh no, why's the floor moving...why's the room moving?" You mumble, looking around quickly which didn't help you.

"I can take her to her dorm." Lorenzo offers.

Your brothers accept the offer hesitantly, but they both knew he wouldn't ever hurt you. No, they knew it was eating him alive for what he did to you months ago. It was clear to everyone that he loved you desperately and he'd do anything to prove that to you.

He winds an arm around your waist, throwing your arm over his shoulder as he slowly makes the destination to your room. You finally felt like you could breathe.

"Drink this, love." He says softly, handing you a glass of water.

"You're so pretty, Enz. I've always wondered how someone could be so perfect. I love your lips, they are so pink and so soft. And your eyes, so warm and welcoming, yet I've gotten to see how dark and desperate filled they could be. And your hands...did I ever tell you how much I love your hands? They are so, so, sexy." You mumble as you grab his hand and look at it.

"Darling, drink the water." He urges softly, his cheeks red as he felt flustered.

You drink the water, unaware of the potion he'd put in to help sober you up faster. He sifts through your closet before finding one of his shirts you had stolen. He walks over to you, coaxing you to sit on the bed.

He gently starts to take your shoes off as you became more sober, but it didn't help with the feeling between your legs. He gasps lightly as your fingers tangle in his hair, lifting his head to look at you.

"I need you, Enz. Right the fuck now." You say, before gasping as he pins you to the bed, kissing you feverishly.

Seein' you tonight, it's a bad idea, right?

Seein' you tonight, it's a bad idea, right?

Seein' you tonight, it's a bad idea, right?

Seein' you tonight, fuck it, it's fine

"So...these mysterious hickeys?" Pansy asks as you both get ready for classes.

"Just having fun." You mumble tiredly.

"Whatever. Are you and Enzo back together?" She asks.

"I know he's my ex, but we are just friends trying to reconnect." You say defensively.

"Right, and that's exactly why when I went to sneak in this morning, you both were lying in your bed naked." She says sarcastically.

You sigh, knowing that it was eventually going to be found out. You just wished you had more time. You focus on your eyeliner for the time being as you tried to find words.

"Okay...I don't know what's going on between Enz and I. I love him...that never went away, but I don't quite trust him. Or maybe I do. But, I'm so scared he'll break my heart again. I'm suppose to be making him prove he's worthy of even having a chance, but we ended up having sex again last night. I just don't need judged or told what to do. I don't know what I want or what I want to do." You admit.

"Y/n/n, I'd never judge you. I think you need to do what's right for you. No matter what you do, I'm in full support if you and Enz end up back together, that's great! You guys were amazing the first time around, it was just his shitty friends. But, they are out of the picture now and he has better friends. But, if you decide that you need to move on from Enz and be just friends, I got you. I'll set you up, I could probably set him up so it isn't so hard to be friends." She says and you laugh softly.

"Gosh, I love you Pans." You murmur.

"Oh I know." She laughs.

Yes, I know that he's my ex, but can't two people reconnect?

"I only see him as a friend," the biggest lie I ever said,

Oh, yes, I know that he's my ex, but can't two people reconnect?

I only see him as a friend, I just tripped and fell into his bed

You continue walking to the Black Lake. Your eyes on the figure who sat right at the shore. Pansy told you he was being odd today—skipping classes, being quiet, being distant and not his normal self at all.

You take a seat next to him, looking out over the Black Lake that glistened under the suns beacon. You look at your knees and sigh.

"Enz, what's going on?" You ask.

He's quiet, unsure of what to say and if he should even say it. You wait patiently, looking back over the lake as you rest your chin on your knees.

"What am I to you?" He asks quietly.

"What do you mean?" You ask confused.

"I've been trying for close to two or three months since we started talking to get back in your good graces. When I think things are going good, we end up sleeping together and then you push me away again." He says confused.

You were quiet, knowing you couldn't be mad that he was growing impatient and upset. It wasn't really fair of you to keep pushing him away after you guys have a very intimate moment. You haven't been the most communicative with him, and you know that.

"Look...I'm sorry. You're right, and I understand your feelings there. I should've been more communicative of my feelings." You explain slowly.

Oh, yes, I know that he's my ex

Can't two people reconnect?

"What's bothering you then? Talk to me, love. I need to understand where your head is in all this." He pleads.

"Enz...I love you and I'll probably always love you if we are being one hundred percent honest. Yes, when we were together I thought we were forever. And yes, I want to give you this chance, but I'm...I'm scared. I hate saying that, but I am. It has been so hard for me to vulnerable and to be able to open up and trust someone enough to love them my entire life...until you. Then...things happened and you hurt me. I want to give you the chance, but I'm so terrified of letting you back in and you hurting me again." You admits quietly.

You close your eyes, hating this sense of vulnerability and emotion. You always tried to keep your emotions at bay and your head on right in order to protect yourself, but it never seemed to quite work out that way when you were with Enzo. He was staring at you, trying to find words of his own and you couldn't bare to look in his deep brown eyes.

You weren't sure if you could handle what his eyes had to say. Instead, your eyes were closed as you tried to ground yourself.

The biggest lie I ever said

"Love...I know I screwed up the first time around, but trust me when I say I regret it. I don't even talk to those people anymore. I realized that if they couldn't accept that I was happy with you and that you were utterly amazing and beautiful, that they didn't deserve to be apart of our lives. I however, realized that too late. But, I learned from my mistakes and I don't want to ever hurt you again, love. Nor, lose you. I realized how much I need you in my life. My heart is yours just as my body and soul and I couldn't have it any other way." He says.

Flashes of the past few months of him trying goes through your head and you smile slightly. He's bought you countless bouquets of flowers, your favorite chocolates, writing handwritten notes, taking you out for a date, giving you his jumper or sweater when your cold, sweet little kisses on your cheek or hand to make you less anxious...and you realize that he's serious.

I just tripped and fell into his bed

"Would you be my boyfriend?" You ask.

You open your eyes, looking at him to see his cheeks flushing red as embarrassment and shyness creep up. You were always direct and he wasn't as direct. It somehow still managed to catch him off guard, even now.

"Yes." He whispers and you smile softly at him.

"You're so pretty." You murmur.

My brain goes, "Ah"

You walk into the Great Hall, hand-in-hand with Enzo as you laugh softly at his story. He was always a brilliant story-teller and he had a lot to fill you in on. Your brothers and friends look at the two of you with dropped jaws as you both sit across from each other. You rest a foot in his lap as you ignore the quietness from your table.

"A-Are you two dating?" Mattheo asks.

"Again?" Tom adds.

"I thought you both were just friends." Pansy whispers confused.

"Yes, we are dating...again. This time will be forever though." You say, smiling softly at Enzo who grins and agrees.

If only you knew the plans of this boys dreams for the two of you.

Can't hear my thoughts

The biggest lie I ever said

My brain goes, "Ah"

Can't hear my thoughts

I just tripped and fell into his bed

Thoughts

Blah

Thoughts

Blah

[harukamitsuki]

saw people hating on Senor Pink and i just-

i don't really care if people don't like him, whether it just be because of the wrong vibes or they just didn't care much about him

but these people were going on about how his backstory was just 'boo hoo, the consequences of my own actions (ﾉД`)' and they didn't find it 'manly' at all

as if that wasn't the whole POINT!

the whole point of his backstory was that he brought it upon himself, that he didn't truly realise what he had until he lost it, that it's because of him that Gimlet is dead and Russian lost everything before her own death. it is his fault, nobody is denying that

if he had been honest with her, maybe Russian would not have left. maybe they would have been happy together, and maybe he'd have been able to leave Doflamingo. if he was able to put her above his life of piracy, if, if, if

his entire backstory is the consequences of his own actions, which is why i was so pressed about people complaining about it. it's perfectly fine to just not like a character, even if you don't have a reason. but to say the reason is because you believe nobody else understood that his backstory was him facing the fact that he brought his tragedy upon himself is-

it's just not it.

we find him manly and admirable because of what he did after. how he made a fool of himself just to see Russian smile, and continued to dress as a baby even after she was gone, because he truly did love her. he's manly because he's working on himself, not because he speaks tough

again, if you don't like him just 'cause, or you didn't care much about him, or you think his design is weird, (although, why the hell are you still watching One Piece if you think his design is weird?), or you just didn't like him, that's fine. that is your opinion.

but hating him because of what his backstory means? because you think Oda meant to portray him as a victim? he was never a victim, and nobody claimed he was. his tragic backstory was his own doing, and that is the point

[httpskarmaco-main]

CW/TW: Mentions of murder, incest, abuse, assault (physically and sexually) and stalking.

I genuinely hate how badly the DR fandom normalizes obviously toxic/harmful ships. "Oh stop trying to make a ship war-" It's not a ship war. You guys are out here literally shipping family members together and see no problem with it? Kanon and Kuwata, really? Korekiyo and his obviously abusive sister? I've seen some of y'all ship fucking Makoto and Komaru and post it like nothing is wrong with what you just created - it is so mind numbing how stupid some of you DR fans are.

Not to mention Murder x Victim. It's so stupid how much Ibuki/Mikan, Leon/Sayaka, are shipped or Chihiro/Mondo are. "Oh but my ship is in a non-despair setting-" I literally do no care. Your AU isn't canon, none of your guys AU's are - but you know what is canon? The actual universe where that person did kill the other. You AU's don't change anything about what's canon. I will say, with some ships like Nagito/Chiaki and Kaede/Rantaro are acceptable - 1, Chiaki didn't even know what she did kill Nagito and had no intent to ever kill Nagito and same with Kaede; she didn't even kill Rantaro, she was framed.

An honorable mention for this part is Ishimaru/Celestia. Holy fuck that ship pisses me off so much. Celestia didn't kill Ishimaru, I'll give you that, but that's the only good thing - she still planned out how to kill him but just got Hifumi to do so but you wanna know how she got Hifumi on board to do so? Lying about Ishimaru blackmailing her and assaulting her both physically and sexually. Not even that, she basically framed Ishimaru too for stealing Alter Ego.

You can see any of these Murder x Victim as close friends but for the love of god, do not ship them - it's toxic.

Lastly, a toxic ship that pisses me off so much; Toko/Byakuya. How the hell is this ship so popular and normalized? It's not only Stalker x Stalked but also Abuser x Abused. Byakuya literally gets physically sick from Toko just fantasizing about him and he can be miles away. Plus not to mention all the comments she makes about Byakuya to his face which he has shown great discomfort in and has told her to stop multiple times, but does she? No. "Oh but Toko has a mental disorder-" boo fucking hoo. You can't use a mental disorder as an excuse epically since it's literally only Toko doing this - Syo just wants to kill Byakuya and Syo doesn't make comments towards Byakuya like Toko does. And Toko has been told multiple times by Byakuya that he doesn't like it. Also may be wonder "oh, how is it Abuser x Abused? Toko doesn't hurt Togami physically." Yeah, PHYSICALLY. But she does abuse him emotionally - Byakuya would literally lock himself in a bathroom just to get away from her.

I'm just glad that I don't see Junko or Tsumugi ships normalized. They both literally made games to have people kill each other and Junko literally took over the fucking world.

Sorry, I just needed to rant because I've been seeing too many fanarts of toxic ships and it's pissing me off. Also hate me for this, I really don't care - it's the truth.

[deviantartdramahub]

Damn last time I posted here I said I'd see you the next evening but now I'm here 3 days later. Sorry about that XD

Life really will screw you over like that.

Anyways, now to the points...

0 notes

"Also I agree with the user, show proof or shut your mouth you dumbass." Lol that sure is ironic, considering the fact you give no proof of any of the claims in your post, especially when I know the stuff about Club and Tri is wrong, and you're also supporting the Probium person when all they do is scream baseless slander and isn't even brave enough to fully admit they're against Club, when it's obvious they are. Probium, very much like you, doesn't want to hear anyone but themself and spouts whatever bullshit they want. (And I'm not sure what pronouns Probium uses, so I'm just gonna use they/them for them for now. If someone informed me what pronouns they use, that'd be helpful. Bc I'm not gonna unblock them just to check lol.)

 5 notes

Nah the reason he was banned is bc you petty losers mass-reported him, smh. "I wont mention they are for their safety" You only care about their safety when they're on your side, hm? "Cuz tri twat stalks this blog like the petty bitch she is." Uhh no??? You're the ones who harassed her and the reason why her and everyone else against you looks at your blog is bc we want to prove your shit wrong and stop you. Keep crying over people defending themselves, lol. " those rp journals have been deleted, alongside his ‘pushing his special needs agenda woa is me boo hoo’ journals." Special needs agenda?? HELPPP these people are making up the new "gAy AgEnDA" over their bigotry LMAOOO. "Dont bother coming back, we will always be watching," Honey you can't say that then tell me you aren't creepy, obsessive stalkers lol. "WE WON." Yeahhh no you didn't, Club's friends, such as me, will always support him and remember him fondly. I'm still on DA and contributing to his group and also speaking up for him here, and you can't do nothing about it. Club also has amazing friends who miss him and still want to talk to him. And despite how big you talk, there's nothing you can do about it. It's pathetic.

3 notes

Ain't no way DADramaNow expects Club to be able to identify every single one of Sam's THOUSANDS of alts lmao. How the Hell is someone ALWAYS supposed to know???

0 notes

Lol here's an instance of DADramaNow attacking a kid just bc he's friends with Club, and also calling him a "pedo in training"?? Ew. "hey robert, if ya hate pedos, why ya hanging with club pedoverse? " Hmm maybe bc he's not a pedophile?? And once again, if Club WAS a manipulator and groomer, that would be fucking horrible to blame and attack the kids for being manipulated. Face it DADramaNow, you aren't the good guy either way.

1 note

Proof, lol? And remember sweetie, screenshots don't count!! <3

1 note

Tbh I wouldn't want to be in those groups anyways if they believed your ableist bullshit.

Anyways that's enough for now, I'll HOPEFULLY be here again tomorrow evening, bye Tri!

Looks like those criticizing our existence just want leverage, as always.

[ms-ninja-crab]

TO ELABORATE

I'm not hating on Fourth Wing because it's a "romantasy" book. Granted I haven't read a ton within the genre, but I have read books that I like (albeit in a guilty pleasure sort of way). Like, I call the ACOTAR series potato chip books because they don't really have a ton of substance and they're really not that good for me, but I can't stop consuming them. I bring up the Nesta ACOTAR book as one that I like because I'm really not trying to shame the "romantasy" genre for having explicit sex scenes (to the extent that the sex scenes are kind of the point of the book).

THAT BEING SAID

For me to enjoy the book, I have to actually like the characters. While this is kind of a low bar, it's SHOCKING how often the male love interest is, just, completely terrible. I like ACOTAR because I actually like Rhysand as a character (as well as the rest of his crew). Feyre is kind of boring (she's that kind of "bland but kind of blah badass female protagonist" that often heads up YA series) but she's servicable as a protagonist. I ALWAYS know how she feels about whatever situation she's in, and she acts in a believable way. She also has a decent amount of agency (from the second book foward anyway, but that's completely justified within the plot of ACOTAR so I'm fine with her lacking agency in the first book (to an extent)) and, like, solves problems by herself and stuff?

I'm still in the middle of Fourth Wing (it is SO HARD to motivate myself to read it lmao) but Violet is just handed EVERYTHING to succeed and it is so CLUMSY. She's wearing the wrong shoes to cross the parapet? She's given a better pair of shoes as soon as it becomes a problem. She's going to be targeted by the other recruits because she's the general's daughter? She's given an armored corset (?) as soon as it becomes a problem. Oh, her childhood friend's already a ranked second-year in charge of her unit, so that's nice. She's physically weak and can't spar very well? Oh, she's literally handed the information in a JOURNAL WRITTEN BY HER DEAD BROTHER that the sparring schedules are ACTUALLY set in advance, and she just so happens to have offhand knowledge about poisons (?? why???) so she can just poison everyone she has to spar with. It is actually infuriating.

It's also EXTREMELY transparent that the only purpose for this book to exist is the sex scenes. I can actually feel the author holding characters up to each other and going "now kiss!" And while the same can be said of ACOTAR to an extent, there is actually an interesting plot happening in tandem that CAUSES CONFLICT BETWEEN CHARACTERS, and more importantly, actually causes conflict between characters to evolve over time. So I actually have a reason to care about Rhys and Feyre. I don't know why I should care about Xaden Riorson (ugh) other than a vague "boo hoo his family is dead at the hands of Violet's mother" backstory.

Hey, Em! Great news!

Fourth Wing won best "Romantasy" of 2023 on Goodreads!

NOOO

Like. I have some Thoughts about Sarah J. Maas and ACOTAR, don’t get me wrong. But I actually overall enjoyed ACOTAR, and there are parts in it that I actually really like. Like, my favorite book in the ACOTAR series is the Nesta one which is literally like 50% pornography lmao despite the ending. This because I actually like the CHARACTERS.

THE MAIN CHARACTER OF FOURTH WING IS SUCH A NEPO BABY AND I CANT S T A N D HER

[onisiondrama]

Onision on Kermit and Friends - March 21, 2021

(This video only has 59 views on Youtube. This is probably the smallest audience I've seen for an Onision interview.)

Summary Part 1

The host seems to be a fan of Onision and the co-host says she saw the documentary so she is well aware of Onision, but the show is a safe space and they don't judge.

Host says her and Andy talked about The Banana Song all night.

Host really like that Onision said not to focus at negativity. Says he only focuses on positivity and he's an amazing guy.

The co-host jokes that they will "do the Onision thing" and shave Andy's head, make him film videos, then maybe he'll change his sex.

Andy can't figure out how to join the show.

James joins. It appears he is in his new house.

The host says he said "goodbye" 2 months ago. James says during one of his more dramatic moods. The host asks what inspired him to say goodbye to all of his fans? He says when you work at something for 12 years and it gets torn away from you, you want to take a break. Host asks why it was taken. James says he likes the question. He says the reason why people are losing content these days is cancel culture. Says people have share holders in the stock market and a risk of being canceled themselves and people attack everything they're associated with. He says recently David Dobrik was canceled and he was losing sponsorships because the company doesn't want to go down with them. The companies don't want to lose business when they see someone they sponsor is being boycotted. He says it's business smart, but morally disagreeable.

James says the Discovery+ documentary called for him to be removed from the internet.

Andy appears. Andy says it's a horrible situation for James to be in and tells him he will do fine. James says he fears for the host and Andy because they aren't taking the position of "Anti-Onision" and anyone who goes against them becomes the target of that community. Andy says he doesn't care and he's sticking up for Onision. James laughs and says Andy has his own extensive celebrity experience so he understands how things work in "the biz. "

The host says everyone is at risk of getting canceled and saying anything can get you canceled these days. She says she was pissed off when she watched the documentary because everyone had groupies who want to sleep with them. They come after him and want him, he ignored them, they kept coming, and now he's at fault? Says now he is canceled and Andy is already canceled. She asks who is not in danger of being canceled at this point?

James says people told him not to go on the stream because of Andy Dick. James laughs and says he was told he couldn't work with Andy. He says people hold serial killers and people who make people upset at the same level. He says they have no gauge for morality, it's all the same to them. Says when you cancel someone for being a law abiding citizen who does things by the book and ignore someone who isn't famous and does horrible things, it shows your priorities. He says it's not about right and wrong, it's about who will bring more attention to me and make me look better.

The host asks James to show her one guy who would decline an offer from a hot fan to meet up. Andy points to himself as she's saying this. James says he thinks there is a significant misunderstanding to what she thinks he went through. He says there were no groupies or hot fans.

He says 10 years ago he dates a Canadian pop star, but he uses the term pop star loosely because she never got that huge. Says she had one music video that got over 1 million views. He says she dove into his life, contacted him early December 2010. He points out they showed this in the documentary. He says he responded to her something inspirational because she was talking about how she was on the edge of suicide and he wanted to help her. He wanted to be the person he represented in his videos, someone who does suicide awareness, etc. He says full disclosure, he straight up left his spouse for this person. The host asks if this was Skye, his high school sweetheart. James says not exactly. He says he broke up with Skye when they were 18 and 19 or 19 and 19 because he told her he couldn't make her happy. He joined the air force and she would write him letters.

Drunken Peasants comment "Cry is Kai-ing now." is features. James says "nice" and laughs.

He says he saw there were a lot of military benefits to getting married. Skye was his best friend and he thought it would be great to get benefits and bring her wherever he went. Says he married his best friend, then he fell madly in love with Shiloh. Six months prior he threated divorce because she said because they were married, half of his stuff was hers. He says that wasn't the agreement because he asked for a prenup. He told her if she was in this marriage for half of his things, let's get divorced now. He says she said never mind and if they get divorced she wouldn't try to take his stuff.

James says when Shiloh came along he realized what a real relationship was supposed to be like. He says he could talk for 10 hours about this because it's such a thorough and rich story. Andy says you could talk for years about what it's like going after a girl. James laughs and says, "a little sexist there?"

Andy and the host talks about their relationship. The host says other men she's dated didn't like commitment and never proposed to her. The host says James likes commitment. James says he proposed to 4 people in his life. Andy asks if anyone said yes? James says all 4 said yes. Andy asks then why isn't he married to them? James says he's been married 9 years. Andy asks to all 4 of them?

James says he only knew Adrienne from Texas 2 weeks and he proposed to her.

The host says she's been talking to Andy about James all week, but Andy forgets. Andy says he knows, but he won't bring it up. James says he's willing to talk about almost anything. Andy says he loves this kid and the host says she knew he would. She says he has so many amazing videos and she wants Andy to collab with him. James says before he went on, he was joking if Andy was like "you're a POS" and screamed at him, he'd still be a fan. He says Andy is top 5 comedians. James says Andy's still a comedian because he's made millions laugh. Says Andy took social norm and threw it into a woodchipper and does whatever he wants. He says he never saw a comedian with no limits, other than Sacha Baron Cohen. He says some comedians pretend they have no limits, but censor themselves later on. Says Andy seems to be on the same path, which is amazing. Andy thanks him.

Andy starts to get upset with them comments on the live. James asks if there's comments and takes a look. He says "this is great" and announced he will give them a crash course on the internet. He says there is an algorithm that promotes whatever you want to believe, like if you're a conspiracy theorist that believe in aliens. You keep seeing videos about it and it's an endless cycle of telling you you're right. James says Andy would probably laugh at this concept, but they took countless clips from comedy sketches and framed them as if they were from real life. He says there's one clip where he says mean things to someone, but they don't address he's dressed as the Joker and they're dressed as Harley Quinn.

He says he did countless pranks where people thought they were real. He says he did meltdown video series, which was one of his favorite video series ever. He says he rubbed poop on himself, lived in a box, etc. He says people ate it up and believed it was real even though he left hints in the videos that it was fake because they wanted to believe their pre-existing narrative that he was a nut case. He says it was entertaining until someone showed up to his house, then he stopped doing it. They drank the kool aid to the extent that they brought it to real life. (He's talking about Chris Hansen.) The host asks if it's scary to have people show up. He says it is when you have small children. He says when people show up to your house you think these people need mental help because they don't understand this is fiction. The host asks if this is the main reason he said goodbye? He says it was more an assortment of emotions. The host says he's an emotional guy. James says it depends, he could be. He says he's chill until you put someone he loves in danger. He says on camera he is "whatever I wish to be" because being a character is fun.

The host says she saw him go crazy in a few videos and wondered if he was bi-polar or had depression. He laughs and she says that's something she suffers from, so that's why she asking. He asks, you're bi-polar? She says yes. James says he is not. She asks if he has depression or anxiety. He says he has major depressive disorder and he was diagnosed last year so existential crisis happen often with him. Andy says "boo-mother-fucking-hoo." James laughs and says that's the father figure he needed growing up.

The hosts says she knows his parents divorced when he was 2. She asks if that affected him. He says "probably." She asks if it affected his relationships because he seems to have volatile relationships. She says she's in one currently. Andy asks what does she mean? She says sometimes Andy calls her a cunt. James laughs and says "yeah." James asks if it's a comedian thing to call people cunts? She says it didn't sound very comical. James says he wouldn't take it personally because what matters is if they stand by you, don't hurt you physically, that they give you love, and they don't say anything out of pure hate.

Andy shows a pill to the camera and takes it. The host asks what it was and Andy says muscle relaxer. James looks a little shocked, but mostly amused.

They have fans on to ask James questions. The first one asks if he really chained a girl in his basement. James says that's another thing the conspiracy mill musters up and no one was chained in his basement. The fans says he doesn't get why they would demonetize him because his channels were dead and he wasn't making any money. James says he was actually making money, he was solidly making a living and it was taken away.

The fans asks about the 14 year old James and Kai groomed, he says he's not saying it's true but he was wondering. James says it's not true and that person ( Sarah ) swore on their grandmother's life it wasn't true. He says if you to to Onision.com/IRL it has videos footage and texts of them saying they were not. The fans asks if James thinks he could sue YouTube for suspending him for offline behavior. James says it's hard to find a lawyer that would not mind being bombarded by negative reviews. He says cancel culture affects people with actual jobs too.

The host talks about how she and Andy are trying to find Andy a new place to live. She jokingly says with Onision. James says he's not in an entertainment-friendly place to live. The host asks what he means. He says LA is more relevant. The host asks why he doesn't live somewhere like LA. James says he's more of a rain and clouds person. The host says she always thought he would make a great actor. He says going to LA feels like his eye are being melted.

Another fan comes on. She says she grew up watching Onision and used to be a Patreon of his on and off for a couple of years, but she's more indifferent now. She says she already knows both sides of everything, but she thinks it''s a lot of it is bull crap. She says as someone with a similar mental disorder as said person- she understand why they would flip like that, but it's extremely shitty. James says he wasn't the person who went through all of the horrible things. Yes, he was demonetized and lost a means to make a living off other platforms, but the person they betrayed was the person he's married to. Kai didn't insult or engage, or do anything bad to anyone ever. The fact that their life got ripped apart makes him feel bad that he ever spoke to them. They have a family so it's hard to regret that. He says that's the only person anyone should feel bad for. He kicked someone out of his life, then he made passive aggressive videos about dating people and it leading to the same result. That person took it personally and lashed out. He triggered them and they attacked. Kai did nothing wrong.

They get into a bit(?) about Andy cheating on the host and her exposing him with a video. James just kind of sits there and watches.

The host asks if James is in a committed relationship with his wife. James says Kai is transgender and identifies as a guy. He says he heard the person earlier that implied he changes people's scientific genders. He says he was confused by that. The host just says "yeah" and there's a bit of a pause. James says they are in a committed relationship. She says he used to bring in other people. He says he is committed, but sometimes they were not exclusive. She asks if he has threesomes and orgies. He says not orgies.

They bring in another guest. She says she is new to him, but is familiar with cancel culture. She says it has to have been hard for him and his family. She asks what advice she has for people dealing with this. He says to not engage with anyone. He says people would do things that were illegal and a danger to his family so he kicked them out of his life. He completely isolate himself from them and they would try to hurt him. He says when you are in the public eye and you have a falling out with someone they can destroy you by spreading rumors. He says the Youtuber Anthony Padilla was terrified of getting into a relationship because he didn't want it to go south and his life to be destroyed. He says if you get in a relationship with someone, don't get out of it.

[danganronpasurvivoraskblog]

RYOMA, DON'T...!!!!!!!!!!!!!

...

...

...

*WHAM!*

UGH!

*Ryoma is just about to bring his iron ball down on the drivers head, when suddenly, Leon runs up and smashes him round the head with a baseball bat. Ryoma tumbles along the ground, getting up again with a face like thunder.

WHO DID THAT!?

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!?

Leon, wait-!

For someone who nags me that I should take better care of my future, you seem all to eager to throw yours away!

Come on dude! 

...

*pant!*

You...get the fuck out of here, and if you come back, I’ll rough you up even more than him!

*The driver makes a run for it, wobbling away due to Ryoma’s attacks making him dizzy.

...How could you? I can’t...

I can’t just let it go man...I need to make Osone and everyone who works for her suffer.

...Ryoma...

Oh, BOO HOO! My family is deaaad! How fucking tragic!

LEON!

Oh fuck off Makoto! I don’t care if it’s rude!

You know what it’s like more than any of us to have dead people! I know your backstory!

And you told us earlier that Yozora was above and beyond against murder! What’s gonna happen if we save her and she finds out you offed a guy in the process! She’s gonna HATE you, and none of this would have been worth it!

You’re just repeating the same damn mistakes you made in the past! Are you really ok knowing that? 

...

???: Are you?

Huh?!

*The conversation is cut into as a familiar voice appears behind the group.

...

Kirumi!

That’s a side I haven’t seen from you before Ryoma...It scares me, I admit...

What are you doing here...!?

...

...If you wanna fight, then I’ll take you up on it! Ryoma’s spilled enough blood...

...I don’t wish to fight...Not here at least...

You want to get inside Shinitani Yozora’s mansion, do you not? Allow me to show you...

Huh? You’re...helping us?

Hold on, we can’t just trust her, can we?

...

I don’t see how we have much choice...We wouldn’t know where to begin looking for an entrance.

If Kirumi’s offering to help us get in, then we should probably take her up on it.

Plus, if she does try to betray us, not only do we outnumber her in people, we outnumber her in arms too.

You realize that I am ambidextrous, yes?

Doesn’t matter, it still leaves you at a disadvantage.

It was merely an observation. Follow me...

*Kirumi leads the way, glancing back once more at Ryoma. Makoto, Komaru, Toko, Sayaka and Yuta closely and suspiciously follow after her.

...If she’s helping us now, maybe we can make her tell us more about where Osone is and what she’s planning...

*Leon sticks out a hand...

Sorry I hit you with the bat...don’t make me take it a step further...

...Sorry...And...you’re right...I shouldn’t have lost control like that...

No, you should have lost control...It would be pretty weird if you didn’t...People do a lot of crazy shit when they’re angry, trust me, I know.

It’s about your morals as a person that keeps you from going over the line.

I didn’t think I’d be getting a morals lecture from you of all people...

*Ryoma takes Leon’s hand and he lifts him up.

[treadmilltreats]

Love is love; it comes in all regions, colors, and sexual orientations

Once again, during this Christmas season, I was on my Christmas sappy movie binge. So when Netflix suggested their new movie Single all the way, I was like sure, bring on the next sappy movie.

Well, I wasn't expecting this movie, but I was so glad that mainstream television is finally catching up with the real world more and more.

So if you haven't seen it, it's a Christmas love story about two gay men, the 2021 version, where their whole family is good with their sons sexual orientation. I know, imagine that? Unfortunately, it's still a fairy tale for many. Anyway, he is always picking the losers and getting his heart broken, so yes. I could relate. His latest heart break was when he found out that his handsome doctor's boyfriend was married and had kids!

So he needed to go home and lick his wounds, but his family was always on him about finding someone, so he roped his best friend to go with him to pretend that they finally fell in love. While home, he realizes what he misses and what's most important in his life. Even though he had a great career in Los Angeles, he hated it. He missed his family and his small town. Of course, you know what happens in the end, hello, it's a Christmas movie! He also realizes that he had always been in love with his best friend and that he felt the same way, too.

By the end of the movie, I was boo hooing, so happy that they got together. Now, did it matter that they were gay? If they were a heterosexual couple, an interacial couple, or an interfaith couple, I would have been crying as well because love is love.

It doesn't matter what color you are, what religion, and what your sexual orientations are. Love is love. Why is that so hard to see? Why is it such a big deal? Why are people still hating on this in 2021? Get over it already, live, and let live.

I remember my girlfriend always saying that if God sent her a little green man, and he was the man for her, she would be proud to love a little green man. That always cracked me up, but it's true; you don't know who you will fall for. They may be younger, older, fatter, skinnier, taller, or shorter than you usually pick.

They may be totally opposite of what you like or were looking for, but it's all about that soul connection. Either you have it or you don't but boy when you have it, all bets are off about your ideal person you had in your head. Love is two souls reconnecting, and it cares nothing about sexual orientations, your colors or your religion it cares about your heart, knowing this person, feeling like home when your with this person, this is what love is.

So today my friends, I will tell you that while watching this movie, all I thought about was how I hoped that I would find a love like that. That I knew what was most important in my life, love, and family, this is what I took away from this movie.

I ask you all to remember that love is love; it comes in all shapes and sizes, all colors, and all sexual orientations.

Love is love, love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy; it does not boast; it is not proud. It does not dishonor others; it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, and it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres. Love never fails”

"Be the change you want to see."

@TreadmillTreats

[isaaclaforeze-remade]

i don't know final fantasy, what's wrong with crisis core :o

this is like 3 pages long

let’s see. where do i begin...

Shin-Ra’s wrongdoing is completely swept aside, ignored, and even sometimes outright erased in the games narrative. This is because the main character, Zack Fair, is someone you’re supposed to like but who works for Shin-Ra. Shin-Ra was one of the main villains of the entire original story. Its status as such was not unfounded - it’s guilty of causing climate change on Gaia, imperialism / colonialism against Wutai (as well as everywhere else, just a longer time ago), human experimentation, genocide, maintaining a dictatorship, and basically every war crime out there.

Aeris Gainsborough is depicted as weak and is mostly just there in the plot of Crisis Core for Zack to have a love interest, which is super shitty. She’s someone who grew up in the slums after escaping a Shin-Ra lab, so shes tough in her own way in canon (i.e. in the original game.) This is more disappointing because she’s a very interesting character and learning more about her upbringing would’ve been really interesting if it wasn’t all about a man in her life. Crisis Core was released for FF7′s 10th anniversary, as a prequel. It would’ve been far better had it focused on the actual characters of FF7, rather than humanizing Shin-Ra for no reason.

As I mentioned before, Aeris exists in Crisis Core only to be a love interest for Zack. Zack is largely an irrelevant character in FF7, only appearing in flashbacks and occasionally alluded to in dialogue. Said dialogue was left ambiguous as to whom it was talking about, making Zack even more obscure. So, who was Zack in FF7?

If he is to be a sympathetic character, it’s likely that he was drawn in as a child by Shin-Ra’s propaganda for the Wutai War, enlisting for SOLDIER in his early teens. It’s unlikely he would have known the scope of Shin-Ra’s crimes or even the reality of what killing a person is like. It’s not hard to imagine he would come to regret his enlistment into SOLDIER, however, there exists within Shin-Ra an entire department meant to blackmail and threaten others not to cross the company. It’s likely that his parents or possibly even his entire hometown could have been threatened should he express any desire to desert.

This would be a fairly complex character with interesting and compelling storytelling, which, of course, Square Enix is too lazy to go for.

Instead, Zack is an upbeat, hyperactive teenager who fight with a smile on his face. He’s entirely loyal to Shin-Ra. The game is very careful not to let you see or play as Zack killing actual people, even though that’s exactly what SOLDIER is for. It instead opts for having him kill “clones” of other SOLDIERS (which is still chilling if you’ve actually played the original game, since Cloud is revealed to be a failed clone of Sephiroth. Cloud is his own person with his own motivations and morals, as we’ve gotten to know throughout the game.)

Cloud is in this game, unfortunately. I do not say this is unfortunate lightly.

From the original game, we have implications in dialogue that Cloud was “always picking fights,” and from the water tower scene we know he feels ostracized from other people and maintains a sense of arrogance as a coping mechanism for this. You’d expect this to be how he’s depicted in Crisis Core, right? Abrasive, tough, though perhaps knocked down a notch or two from working in the military. But, no, he’s actually depicted as timid and weak. It’s a huge disappointment when that’s nothing like the asshole Cloud everybody learned to love.

There’s these two new SOLDIER 1st Class characters that were never in or mentioned in the original game. Their names are Angeal Hewley and Genesis Rhapsodos. Yes, those are really their names. 

Genesis’ only lines, really, are him reciting this stupid poem / play they made up for the game. it’s the most pretentiously-written thing to have ever disgraced my eardrums and i hate him for repeating the same lines from it constantly. i hate this man with a rage so all-consuming and disgraceful that i feel actively demonic by how hateful he makes me feel. please do not talk to me about this man or i will stop being friends with you if i already am and i’m COMPLETELY serious when i say this

angeal is like.. all he ever talks about is honor, honor, honor. shut the fuck up dude, you sound like a scratched mulan CD. ultimately he turns into a monster because of the experiments shin-ra did on him and he kills himself by forcing zack to kill him, boo fucking hoo. you have the strength to snap your own neck don’t give your kid a guilt complex you pompous asshole

the nibelheim incident, a major plot point in the original game and a very chilling moment, is retconned so that genesis can be in it and look all important. the reason this was done was because gackt(?), a famous jrock star, played the mocap/voice acting for genesis, and square wanted as much gackt stan money as they could get. it was pathetic and an embarrassment then, and it’s pathetic and embarrassing now. 

on top of all this, there’s weird gay-coding thrown in there in between zack and cloud to make zack’s death seem more tragic and get more fujo money. it worked.

did i mention angeal and genesis are also made conventionally attractive? also sephiroth isn’t an ugly little hojo-spawn like i prefer to imagine him as with the low polygon OG. so naturally there are a lot of fujoshis that ruin the fanbase experience for the original game by hijacking it with their libido for some irrelevant, poorly written cc characters. over the years this has just amplified my disappointment / embarrassment towards crisis core into active hatred, because as a trans gay man my experience being soured by the excessive amt of crazy fujoshis in the tag is suuuuuper damaging. doesn’t help that they love to write awful fetishy porn of cloud as a trans man and that makes it impossible for me to look for actual content of the headcanon which is disheartening.

i think thats it. thanks for reading

[punkscowardschampions]

Buster & Rio

Buster: Are you gonna be on clean up crew? Buster: I have to be Rio: Was meant to Rio: but I'll leave you to it then Buster: Cheers Buster: You can always help with Jay so Nance can do her bit Buster: Nobody'll give you shit for that Rio: Maybe Rio: she'll be well fawned over so Rio: best out of it Rio: stay in bed Buster: Whatever Rio: Not free childcare Buster: Didn't say you were Buster: She has fun with you that's it Rio: She's a baby, she can't tell who's who idiot 😂 Buster: Tell that to everyone she hates Rio: Rather not start my morning having a chinwag with Chlo, tah Rio: too far Rio: ? Buster: Probably Buster: Woke up on the wrong side of the bed, yeah? Rio: Oh well, too late now Rio: Funny Rio: Wrong bed, init Buster: Not very funny to be fair Rio: Oh get over it, McKenna Rio: This is what you do Rio: what, really thought you'd changed? Buster: I was trying to Rio: N'awwh Rio: Single tear Buster: Glad you're loving this Buster: That's what you do Buster: revel in the fuck ups Rio: and what? Rio: sorry I don't jerk myself off, fist pumping every 'victory' Rio: not my crowd Buster: So you say Buster: Happy to crowd me though Rio: You can go fuck yourself Rio: like I forced you Rio: you're delusional Buster: No Buster: Much as you like to put words and thoughts on me Buster: I never said you did Rio: Then own it and move the fuck on Rio: you're turning into a real bore, you know? Buster: Good Buster: It'll keep you away from me Rio: Who you trying to kid? Rio: 'Cos newsflash, its only working on yourself Buster: Newsflash I only give a shit about myself Rio: I'm aware Rio: reckon your girlfriend ain't yet Rio: Give her time to catch up, eh? Buster: Planning to Rio: Save me another job Rio: 'cos cba to give her the lowdown Buster: You're welcome Rio: But like I said, not fooled here Rio: you'll just continue to be a piece of shit Rio: keep up the collection of dumb bitches Buster: Lucky you don't care then Rio: Didn't say that Rio: not about you Rio: I can feel bad for her though Buster: Bit late for that Rio: I'm not her boyfriend Rio: and doubt I'm the first or last betrayal so good one Rio: its all on you, dickhead Buster: You still knew I was Buster: Say what else you like Rio: And what? Not my responsibility to make sure you behave Rio: And if she's that girl that blames the other women then I take back any sympathy I had for her so Buster: And you didn't say no to spare her so don't act like you give any fucks now Buster: You're as selfish as I am Buster: Own that and move on Rio: Not claiming I love the bitch Rio: I can do what I want Buster: Then shut up about her Rio: Little late to grow a conscience Rio: you're SUCH a little bitch boy 😂 Buster: And you love it so get off the moral high ground Rio: Its mine to take Rio: if you're gonna pretend to be something you're not, tie yourself down, then you get the consequences Rio: Simple as Rio: Not going to console you Buster: I wasn't asking you to Buster: I only asked you one question Rio: Nah Rio: Not how I recall it Buster: Recall it how you want Rio: Fucking hell you're dry Buster: If you only wanna talk to me when I'm making you wet you're gonna have a long wait Rio: Big talk for someone who lasted a month being 'good' 😂 Rio: Pathetic Buster: That was then Buster: I'm over you now Buster: Over all of this Rio: That was a few hours ago Rio: You're actually derranged, called it in the air from the off Rio: you can't gaslight me like you can your bland naive little girlfriends Rio: Unlucky Buster: Yeah I am and now I'm sick of you too Buster: I got what I wanted a few hours ago Buster: So no need to string this out Rio: 😂 Brilliant Rio: what's the issue champ, can't get it up? Or just not enough fucked up shit for you to really feel more than a pump and dump? Rio: Poor girl Buster: Why do you care? Buster: Not everything has to be that deep Rio: Yes it does Rio: I'm not the one with delusions here, remember Rio: If you were happy, you wouldn't have done it Rio: Its that fucking simple, Buster Buster: I never said I was happy or unhappy Buster: Why would I to you? Rio: You didn't have to Rio: Actions speak louder Rio: Stop behaving like you're braindead, you're meant to be clever Buster: I had an opportunity and I took it Buster: There's the action Buster: Nothing else to say Rio: and if you were happy Rio: you wouldn't have Buster: How do you know? Buster: Maybe I was blissful and I couldn't handle it Rio: then you're more of a lost cause than you're acting Rio: if you're into someone, you don't cheat on them, its that straightforward Buster: For you Rio: You're sooooo complex 😂 Rio: for everyone Buster: Not for me Buster: I'm into her and I still fucked you Buster: End of story Rio: No it ain't Buster: Cause you don't want it to be Buster: But it is Rio: No Rio: fuckwit Rio: because you're not going to do anything about it cause you're chickenshit Buster: I'm not going to do anything about it cause it doesn't mean anything Buster: I'm not married to her Rio: She'd disagree Rio: and you're fully aware Rio: If she meant anything, you'd tell her the truth and beg for fucking forgiveness Rio: but that's not gonna happen, is it? Rio: No because she'll dump you on the spot for being such a fuck up Buster: You don't know her so don't give it out like you do Rio: You don't Rio: and she doesn't know you, the real you, cos you know what'd happen if she did Buster: Exactly Buster: It's been weeks not years Rio: She's still not going to appreciate being cheated on you absolute fucking tool! Rio: More so, maybe if you were in love you'd get passed it Rio: but it ain't that deep, honey Buster: Get over it Buster: There's no need for you to care Buster: Or give me this lecture Rio: No Rio: I'm not staying in the box you put me in for your convenience, I don't fucking love you either Rio: and I'm within my right to tell her, if that's what I want to do Rio: you have NO control over this, Buster, NONE Buster: Go on then Buster: Do it Buster: You're the only one who gives a shit about who has control Buster: I could care less Rio: When it stops being fun holding it over you, I will Rio: You'll find out by proxy, I'm sure Buster: Take that pathetic enjoyment and run with it Buster: If that's all you've got, take it Rio: Plan to Rio: 'Cos what have you got? Nothing more than what you lie and cheat for Rio: and that's all so easily taken away Buster: I've got everything I need Buster: You're the one grasping Buster: Trying to make me react Rio: You have NOTHING Rio: None of it is real Rio: and I don't need to lift a finger or say a word to make you Rio: you do it all yourself, no need for help Buster: Boo fucking hoo Buster: If I'd wanted real I'd never have gone near you Rio: Duh Rio: its all fantasy Rio: Best of all is the fantasy where you think you'll be a good guy with a 'nice' safe missus Rio: I'm not apologising for laughing Rio: What do you expect? Buster: Nothing Buster: I like the fantasy Buster: Paint me as being a devastated loser all you like but actually I'm fine Buster: Even better now I'm done with you Rio: You can't be Rio: Cuz Rio: 😂 you're the furthest from fine Rio: trust, I know Rio: you don't live around a trainwreck for as long as I did without learning how to spot the derailment ahead Buster: I'd tell you not to flatter yourself but that's all you've got so go ahead Buster: You don't know anything close to as much as you think you do Buster: If you had you'd have seen Drew coming for a start Buster: And Edie going Rio: Likewise, Mr Trinity College Rio: can't stop a trainwreck, everyone knows that Rio: can't look away either Rio: you and your saviour complex Rio: served you well, hasn't it? oh wait Rio: nah, nah it hasn't Buster: Again, you're the one putting that on me Buster: Worry about yourself, Rio Rio: I'm not Rio: can't take back the fuck, can't take back all the shit I know about you Rio: deal with it Buster: You see what you wanna see Buster: Deal with being wrong more than you're right Rio: I can only see and hear what you're putting out Rio: You're the twisted one, remember? Rio: I'm crystal clear Buster: Keep telling yourself that Rio: I shall Rio: keep telling yourself you're fine Rio: and all will be peachy Buster: Unlikely but it's the truth regardless Buster: Got to go get shit done now Buster: Bye Rio: When you out yourself as not being fine in a sentence Rio: Good Luck, kid Rio: You need it Buster: No doubting that Buster: Never have Rio: Right, the fight to the top Rio: I recall, we're not going over that again, PLEASE Buster: No we aren't Buster: I'm busy Rio: Carnage won't clean itself Rio: better to start with that mess Buster: Can't all lie in bed being a smug bitch Rio: oh, you want me to come now? Rio: wow, mixed messages, babe Buster: Like I've said repeatedly, I don't care what you do Rio: No, bitch, you only messaged me to make sure I wasn't going to show Rio: Cut the crap for a sec and be honest Rio: you've had no problem telling me graphically and repeatedly what a horrible mistake I was/am so let's not act otherwise now Buster: No I told you I had to be there Buster: I never said what you should do Buster: Thought you might not wanna come, but if you're that desperate to pick up empties nobody's stopping you Rio: And why else would you tell me that but to say don't come Rio: you're driving me insane, have you forgotten how to tell the truth, has it been that long? Rio: fuck Buster Buster: I figured you might not want to see me since I don't wanna see you Buster: It's that simple Rio: Well, you were wrong Rio: Again Rio: but whatever, understood Buster: More fool you for being surprised or bothered Buster: You should've known Buster: Seen it coming I'd be wrong, that's your thing Rio: No, I got it, you've hurled enough insults my way for one morning, thanks Rio: not expecting a good morning text but you know Rio: I'm the idiot who thought you might have some decency left in you, yeah, my mistake Buster: Yeah it is Buster: At least you won't make it again Rio: No Rio: I'm not fool enough to believe that Rio: but you're riding that hard enough for the both of us so maybe Buster: Believe what you want Rio: I don't Rio: and that's why you're so angry at me Buster: Don't flatter yourself Buster: I'm mad at myself Rio: Stop telling me what to do, and then telling me you aren't! Rio: and don't say such vile things to me and be so cruel, and then tell me you don't care! Rio: Just stop it Buster: What do you want? A declaration of love Buster: You wanted honesty Rio: No Rio: and you haven't given me honesty, you've given me nothing but contradictions, so only half of what you said can be close to being right Buster: If that's what you've heard there's nothing I can do about it Buster: I've been honest Rio: Yes, there is! Rio: Oh my god, why are you so infuriating? Buster: You tell me Buster: You're the one having a stroke Rio: Because you've treated me like shit! Rio: and you don't see the problem in that Rio: you only care about her Rio: whether you like me or not you could treat me like a fucking human being Buster: Like you've treated me any better Buster: Not my fault you can give it out but can't take it Rio: Nothing ever is Rio: I said some things that if I was in a better frame of mind, I'd probably be sorry for, yeah; but you literally started this Buster: I'm not going to be sorry for treating you how you deserve to be treated Buster: I've been defending myself this entire time Rio: Clearly Rio: No, I fully understand that you're just treating me how I deserve; what else would a sad whore like me deserve but a pity fuck when you were horny and inexplicably your girlfriend wouldn't do? Rio: and I'm even more of a sad whore for being offended when this is pointed out to me the next morning when you say you NEVER wanna see me again Rio: Gotcha Buster: It wasn't that Buster: I don't pity you, that's all you feeling sorry for yourself and me apparently because I'm so fucked up Buster: And I didn't say never, I just don't want to see you the morning after I made a mistake Buster: Get over yourself like Rio: I think you'll find you did but I'm not being the bitch who sends you screenshots, heaven help me, I'm already a whore and a jealous cunt Rio: can't add that to the list of my sins Buster: Well if I did add that to the list of mine Buster: Since you love my mistakes so much Rio: Gotta love myself, ain't I? Can't fault me that, you always extoling the virtues Buster: I'm not Buster: Come on, you're not the mistake, getting with you again was Rio: What's the difference? Buster: It's the timing it's not you Rio: C'mon Rio: that just means it was alright when nothing better was on offer Rio: appreciate the attempt at being decent but Rio: whatever, I'll survive Buster: She's not better, she's different Buster: And you know it wasn't just alright Rio: Nah, she is Rio: It ain't the first time I've been a side-chick Rio: Forever like, ahh, too early to crack open another bottle is it? Rio: Pity party that it is Buster: I'm not gonna sit here and listen to this bullshit Buster: You're better than this Rio: Evidently not Rio: but that's alright, not gonna rock your world at this point, you've been putting out as much Buster: Stop Buster: I wanted to hurt you Buster: You called me out on it already so don't buy in now Rio: What do you want me to say? Like, mission accomplished Rio: What's done is done Buster: Fuck's sake Buster: what do you want ME to say? Rio: I don't think there's anything else for you to say Rio: is there? Buster: Christ, now you're being infuriating Buster: I'm sorry, yeah? Rio: Yeah Rio: cool Buster: You're just gonna ice me out now then Buster: We're done talking, that's it? Rio: You said Bye like, 10 minutes ago so Rio: I assumed so, in fairness 😜 Buster: THAT you listen to Buster: Fuck Buster: I can't win with you Rio: I'm all ears, McKenna Rio: Its not a game, so you can't, I'm afraid Buster: Isn't it? Since when Rio: Since it has no end-goal Rio: and who decides who's won or lost Buster: We both lose according to you Rio: Well Rio: am I wrong? Buster: Why do we have to Rio: Because we set ourselves up to Rio: What else did we think would happen here? Buster: We weren't thinking Buster: I'm not sorry I wasn't Rio: Yeah you are Rio: but should be, at least you're trying Rio: Shouldn't take the piss out of you for it Buster: Like I said, only about last night Buster: 'Cause I am trying Buster: But I can't blame you for coming for my failings, shouldn't anyway Rio: I can't apologise for the gist of what I was saying, even if I did go too far at certain points Rio: even if it is one for you, and that's alright Rio: its not the best feeling in the world to be someone's 'failing' and 'mistake' Rio: is what it is but now you know Rio: said my piece Buster: yeah Buster: I don't want you to be sorry Buster: I don't want you to be one of my fuck ups either Buster: But I meant what I told you before, I really like Erin, and that is still true Rio: Yeah Rio: I just am, we can't take it back Rio: we thought we knew that but we didn't Buster: Fuck Buster: Tell me what you want me to do Buster: I can't fix it, I know that, but I don't wanna leave it like this Rio: I don't know Rio: I really don't think there's anything you can do or say Rio: It'll get better with time, doesn't everything? Buster: No Buster: It's a platitude Rio: Well Rio: Gotta take it Buster: Yeah Buster: Do you want me to go? Buster: I'll get out of your inbox, that's what you properly deserve like Rio: No Rio: of course I don't Rio: but you should Buster: You're right, you've been right this whole time Buster: But I don't want you to be Buster: Not about that Buster: I've changed my mind Buster: I do want to see you Rio: Buster Rio: Don't Rio: One of us has to be sensible Buster: One more time Buster: Please Rio: That's what you wanted last night to be Rio: wasn't it? Buster: I don't know Buster: But I know I don't want this convo to be it Buster: I do care about you Buster: I want to stop lying Rio: Okay Rio: Okay, I don't want it to be either Rio: lets just talk, in person Rio: we can be honest Buster: Yeah Buster: I owe you more than that Rio: Its a start Buster: Where? Rio: I don't know, don't care, anywhere Buster: Meet me outside, we'll figure the rest out when you get that far Rio: Okay Buster: Don't be long, yeah? Rio: I won't Rio: Coming now