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a-night-at-the-0pera · 6 years ago

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Stress Relief, Part 4

PART 1, PART 2, PART 3, Chapter Playlists

Pairing: College!Joe Mazzello x Reader

Summary: The start of senior year of college is usually full of bittersweet moments, but returning to campus without your best friend by your side is as bitter as the burnt dining hall coffee. With Joe busy with orientation activities and you unsure about what you want, it is hard to tell whether this last year of college will get off to the right foot, and if the two of you can repair your relationship.

Warnings: BIG EMO ANGST (sorry, but it had to happen), alcohol consumption, some smut (18+ please!), fluff fluff fluff

Word Count: 10.4k

Author’s Note: Thank you all for waiting so patiently for this final chapter in the series! The past few weeks have taken a lot out of me, but I’m excited to share this last piece of the story with you. I’m honestly sad it’s over! I’ve sort of fallen in love with Joe and Y/N myself, and I’ll miss writing their dumbass adventures. I hope you all like this last chapter. Thank you for coming on this ride with me! I’ve been floored at every turn by how much people like this story, and I am so grateful for you all. As always, special shoutouts to @sweet-ladyy, @denimmay, and @o-holynight for being talented people and amazing friends...without you guys and your love, I honestly don’t know if I would have had the energy to finish this story. And, of course, thank you to @o-holynight, my graphic design queen, for the beautiful moodboard! Comments and reblogs are always appreciated! I love to hear what you all think! <3

~~~~~~~~~

To say you are restless is an understatement. It is 2am and you are wide awake, trying to not think about the alarm set on your phone for a bright and early 8am wake-up call. The car downstairs is packed, crammed full of boxes and bags, ready for the drive back to college. You even have an outfit for tomorrow all laid out, the comfy pair of shorts and soft t-shirt folded nicely on the chair in the corner. It’s not like this is your first rodeo. After all, tomorrow is the start of senior year. Shouldn’t you feel like a professional at this by now?

You roll over onto your stomach, grabbing your phone from the bedside table and unlocking it. Instinctively opening Snapchat, you scroll to the Discover page and click on the first little Story circle at the top, the screen flashing snapshots of the past 24 hours in your friends’ lives. Mara is watching Dirty Dancing with her sisters. Dylan is at his band’s last concert of the summer. Wren is already back on campus and unpacking their stuff, rocking out to their latest Spotify playlist. Sage’s story is punctuated with giggles, showing her mom attempting to roll a joint, captioned “last night in Colorado.” You smile to yourself, feeling your pre-move-in anxiety beginning to fade a little, replaced with excitement to see your friends again.

Until you reach his story.

Joe’s face fills your screen, surrounded by a swarm of eager, smiling freshmen, all cheering and laughing. “I met these kiddos today but I would already die for all of them,” the caption says, cutting off a few millimeters of the cute orientation Geotag in the corner. Your heart pangs seeing him smile, even in his goofy orientation leader uniform. Especially in his goofy orientation leader uniform. And, on second inspection of the snap, you notice that Joe has a mustache, too. That’s new. A not-so-subtle reminder of the fact that you have barely seen his face in over a month. Your finger hovers over the screen, debating whether or not you should reply to the video clip. It is really cute, and you could send some innocuous message about the new kids or something. Or you could roast Joe on his new facial hair.

Honestly, all you want is a response. Ever since your visit to New York, you and Joe have barely talked. No more dumb comments on each other’s summer Instagram posts. No more midnight FaceTime calls. Just a handful of Snapchats and texts, most opened and never answered. The lack of communication, quite honestly, is killing you, but you know that it’s all your fault. You’re the one who built the walls.

Fuck it, it can’t hurt to send him the message. The worst that can happen is that he opens it and doesn’t respond, and at this point, you’re used to that. You swipe up, typing in the little grey chat bar.

omg look at the babies!!! can’t wait to meet them!

It’s wishful thinking to expect a reply, especially at this hour, so you double-check your alarm and place your phone on the nightstand again, fidgeting to find a comfortable position on your mattress. Your eyes are just starting to drift shut when your phone dings, causing your eyes to fly open again. It can’t be. You snatch up your phone, nearly knocking over the water bottle on the table.

Snapchat from Joseph Francis.

It’s almost embarrassing how fast your heart is beating as you swipe open the notification, refreshing the page to load the message. The little blue speech bubble pops up, indicating a typed response instead of a picture. Okay, cool.

Haha yeah, they’re great

Definitely a lackluster response, but still something. You quickly type out another message, hoping that maybe you can start an actual conversation.

Why are you up so late?

You keep the app open, eager to see if Joe will respond again. After a minute, the little dots appear.

Orientation activities

I could ask you the same thing

Again, weirdly succinct for how Joe usually texts, but at least he is texting. Your fingers fly across the keyboard once again.

Guess I’m a little anxious about move-in tomorrow…I mean, it’s senior year, just one year left with everyone. But I’m also excited because I get to see you tomorrow! You’re living in Kennedy again, right?

The little dots immediately spring up, but disappear again after a few moments. You can see that he’s thinking about how to respond, and the waiting is excruciating.

“Come on, Joe, say something,” you whisper aloud to yourself, chewing anxiously on your lip.

Yep, Kennedy again…they renovated the bathrooms this summer, it’s really nice

That’s awesome! Well, I’ll be in Stafford, so we’ll be just across the green from each other. I’m getting to campus around noon tomorrow…after I move my shit in, maybe I could swing by your room to say hi?

Ordinarily, you’d cringe at your paragraph texting, but you are so desperate to talk to Joe that you don’t even care. The little dots pop up again, just for a second or two.

I’m busy, but I’m sure we’ll see each other around

Your heart twinges a little at that message. It is just so…dismissive? Flippant? You know he isn’t lying, since being an OL means he’s busy all the time until classes start, but it feels like he doesn’t want to make time for you.

“Well, even if you aren’t gonna make an effort,” you mutter, “I will.”

For sure! I’ll find you tomorrow somehow…probably by following a pack of lost freshies lmao

Joe’s response is a singular thumbs-up emoji. How can you even respond to that? With that one little picture, he’s basically told you he’s done talking. You sigh, closing the app and placing the phone on your nightstand again. For the first time that evening, a wave of exhaustion washes over you, although whether that’s from genuine tiredness or from trying to interact with Joe is hard to say. You yawn, snuggling into your pillow. Senior year may already be off to a rocky start, but that is definitely a tomorrow problem.

* * *

“I think that’s the last of them,” you pant, wiping a few beads of sweat from your forehead as you straighten up. The friendly sophomore who volunteered to help you puts the box she’s carrying on your bare mattress with a little grunt, turning to you with a smile.

“Well, if you need any more help, let me know! I live just down the hall.”

You smile back at her, “You really are an angel for helping me move in. You’re the RA for this floor, right?”

“Yep,” she nods, pointing at the plastic nametag dangling from the lanyard around her neck, “Kiera, Room 321, at your service!”

“How do you feel about being a sophomore in a building full of seniors?” you ask, beginning to unpack your clothes.

“A little nervous, if I’m honest,” she says softly, “you guys are all cool and smart and I’m just some dorky sophomore who’s job it is to make sure that you all don’t die.”

“Well, I promise that I won’t die on you,” you giggle, “and everyone I know who is living on this floor is pretty chill. I think the worst thing you’ll have to keep an eye out for is a repeat incident of the Walden Shitter.”

“The uh…the what?” Kiera asks, her eyes widening in confusion.

“My freshman year, there was a student who kept…relieving themselves in buckets and leaving said buckets all over Walden Hall. It was disgusting.”

“Did they ever catch them?” the RA squeaks out.

“Nah,” you giggle, “but they did send a hilarious email to the entire campus, and the Shitter was dormant after that. They’ve probably graduated by now. Unless, of course, the Shitter is in my class. Then they could even be living here in Stafford!”

Kiera stares at you, unsure if you’re joking or not. You smile at her, unfolding your tapestry.

“I think the best part of being a senior so far is passing on the lore to the young’uns like you,” you tease.

“Well, if the Shitter makes a reappearance, I’m blaming you,” she laughs back, “thanks for the heads-up, I guess? Anyways, I’ll get out of your hair, but I’ll see you around (Y/N)!”

You give her a little wave as she trots out of your room. It feels weird to have a student two years younger than you in charge of your floor, but you don’t envy her. In your previous three years of college, you’ve seen some really heinous situations that RAs have had to deal with. You smile to yourself thinking about the time someone set a notice board on fire in the student center during sophomore year. College really is a fucking zoo sometimes.

A familiar voice drifting in through your open window snaps you out of your reminiscing.

“…and on the left we have Stafford, one of the most popular dorms on campus. It’s mostly full of seniors though, so I’d call it more of a retirement home than a dorm! Haha...that was a bad joke, okay, yikes…moving on….”

You dart to the window, leaning out and craning your neck to see a mop of auburn hair passing by.

“JOSEPH FRANCIS MAZZELLO, YOU BETTER STOP RIGHT THERE!” you shriek, waving like a madwoman.

Joe turns around and looks up at the dorm with confusion, scanning the windows to see who is yelling at him. The moment he catches your eye, you spin on your heels and run out of your room and down the stairs, throwing open the heavy front door and sprinting down the path. You leap at Joe, enveloping him in a huge hug.

“I fucking missed you!” you breathe out, squeezing him tightly.

“It’s good to see you too,” Joe smiles at you, patting you on the shoulder.

“And I see you’ve decided to grow a new little friend, huh?” you tease, reaching up to poke at his mustache. However, before your finger can stroke the thin strip of reddish hair, Joe jerks his head away from you, clearing his throat. You’re suddenly very aware of the group of freshman staring at you, your arms wrapped around their orientation leader. You laugh awkwardly, stepping back from your friend.

“Hi everyone, um…welcome to campus!” you offer, smiling at them, “uh…I’m (Y/N), I’m a senior here. Sorry, I just got so excited to see Joe! You know, these are the kinds of friendships you’ll make here at…”

“Why don’t you save the cheesy Dean of Students-style speeches to me, huh?” Joe mercifully cuts you off with a chuckle, squeezing your arm lightly, “don’t wanna ruin your cool-kid senior façade now, do you?”

“As if I ever had that,” you snort, rolling your eyes at Joe before turning back to the freshman, “you all are seriously lucky to have this dork as your OL, he’s the best guy on campus.”

Joe blushes a little at that, digging his toe into the dirt.

“Thanks, (Y/N). Uh, we gotta keep moving though, there’s a barbeque in twenty minutes that we can’t be late for.”

“Oh, can I meet you there?” you ask, “I’m starving, and I can’t wait to catch up with you!”

“I’ll be working,” Joe states plainly, “and it’s just for new students.”

“And what, you won’t sneak me in?” you tease, poking his shoulder.

“No, I won’t,” he says through gritted teeth, looking at his orientation group, “I can’t, (Y/N).”

Your smile falls from your lips and you take a step away from Joe, shocked by his change in tone. Last year, Joe would have offered to sneak you into the barbeque before you could even ask. Maybe it’s just the fact that he’s supposed to be a good example to the new kids. Or maybe it’s because…

You shake your head, plastering another smile across your face, before responding “Of course, I was just joking, Joe! Well, I’ll let you guys get on with your tour, I guess. Um, text me later, okay?”

Joe nods and waves as you walk back to the front door of Stafford. As he walks off with his gaggle of excited freshman, you feel a pang in your heart. A naïve part of you had hoped that perhaps Joe’s lack of communication this summer was just because he was busy with his internship, but it’s pretty obvious now that something is very wrong between the two of you. The idea of Joe hating you is too much to bear. Who is going to call you for 2am pizza parties? Who is going to go to Senior Ball with you? Who is going to be your rock for this final tumultuous and all-important year of college?

There’s only one other person on campus you want to talk to right now. You pull up your video chat app, clicking on Sage’s icon. A few rings later, her beautiful chocolate-brown curls fill the screen, and you smile.

“Hey, gorgeous, how are you?”

She sighs, angling the camera so you can see the stacks of boxes behind her, “Sweaty as hell…unpacking is the worst thing about moving back to college.”

“I thought the worst thing about moving back to college was having homework again.”

“Actually, I take it back, the worst thing about moving back to college is hearing my next-door neighbor fucking her boyfriend.”

You nearly choke from laughter, “Already? Are you kidding? We’ve been back for two hours!”

“Love finds a way,” Sage drawls, rolling her eyes, “anyways, what are you up to?”

You shrug, pausing on the dorm stairs, “I was just going to go back to my room and unpack, I guess.”

“Well, why don’t you come to my room and help me unpack?” she suggests, “we haven’t seen each other in forever, and I can always use an extra set of hands for untangling my necklaces.”

“What an offer,” you reply sarcastically, “unpacking your boxes to avoid doing my own.”

“Hey man, you don’t have to,” she responds, “but I can pay you in summer gossip and chocolate.”

You giggle, “fine, you’ve convinced me. You’re living in Howser this year, right?”

“Yep, second floor. I’ll see you soon, babe,” Sage confirms, smiling as she hangs up.

* * *

Your hand has barely grazed the door of Sage’s room before she calls out, “It’s open!”

“Sage!” you squeal, swinging open the door and holding out your hands, pulling your friend into a tight hug. The two of you bounce around, clinging to each other and laughing, before collapsing on Sage’s overcrowded single bed.

“I missed you, (Y/N)! Looks like you had a good summer, though,” Sage sighs, turning to look at you.

“Yeah, it was okay,” you demur, “mostly working, interning, avoiding my parents…typical stuff. How was working at that summer camp?”

“Kids love me,” she laughs, “can’t say I love the little monsters back, but hey, I made serious bank. Guess that makes getting poison ivy on my ass worth it!”

The two of you spend a few more moments lying on the bed before Sage hands you a fabric bag full of jewelry. You reach in and grab hold of an earring, but when you try to yank it out of the bag, a giant tangled ball of necklaces, bracelets, and other shiny things emerges. As Sage puts on a playlist and gets to work unpacking her suitcases, you diligently start to untangle.

“You went to go see Joe in New York sometime in July, right?”

You nod silently, digging the corner of your nail into a particularly difficult knot in the jewelry ball.

“So…how was it?” Sage presses.

“Fine,” you say simply, “we got ice cream and went roller skating and watched movies…it was fine.”

“Just fine?” she teases, “come on, that must’ve been, like, the most exciting weekend of your summer.”

You shrug, avoiding her eyes. Sage stares at you for a few moments before starting her line of questioning again.

“So are you guys gonna hang out tonight?”

“Why would we hang out tonight?” you splutter out.

“Gee, (Y/N), why would you hang out with your best friend after months of not seeing him?” she drawls sarcastically, “it’s almost like, I don’t know, people can miss each other?”

Again, you shrug, desperately struggling with a particularly knotted necklace to try and divert attention away from the fact that you are avoiding answering. You can feel your friend’s eyes boring into the top of your head.

“Did something…happen? Are you avoiding Joe for some reason?” she asks, dropping the sarcasm in her voice.

You flop backwards on the bed with a sigh, giving in to the pressure to share. If someone has to know, it might as well be Sage.

“I’m not the one doing the avoiding…things got weird over the summer.”

“Ah! The truth comes out!” she grins, turning to face you with her hands on her hips, “alright, spill. Weird how?”

You grimace, hiding your face in your hands. Guilt wracks your body as you realize just how much you’ve hidden from your friends, especially Sage, who has really been there for you ever since the fall of sophomore year, when you suffered through a hellish macroeconomics lecture together. To stay awake during the brutally boring 9am course, the two of you would pass notes back and forth. They initially started as questions about the lecture, but eventually blossomed into little doodles of your horrid professor, hungover confessions about what had happened the night before, and scribbled admittances of classroom crushes. Sage was there for you when you were on the brink of failing Ancient Greek, and you were there for her when her girlfriend broke up with her out of the blue over Snapchat. And she could be there for you now, if you just let her in.

You shakily exhale, sitting up on the bed and pulling your legs under you.

“It’s a long story.”

And it practically spills out of you. The finals week stress in the library. The party with his stupid unbuttoned shirt. Him wiping off your make-up so sweetly. Him making you moan his name, your first orgasm washing over you courtesy of your best friend. The trip to New York, with its movie nights and reciprocal blowjobs and strawberries and roller skating. Its disastrous ending on that moonlit golf course, your best friend’s cum dripping out of you as you biked back to his house in tears. The fact that you barely spoke for the rest of the summer. And throughout the whole re-telling, you keep coming back to how it’s all your fault. You, with your stupid guarded heart and fear of intimacy, are the one who destroyed your friendship before the sex even had the chance to. If it even would have.

When you finish with the story, you let out a deep breath, turning to face Sage again. The sun has begun to set, the golden rays filtering through the leaves outside the window to dapple the walls and linoleum floor. It feels like you just ran a marathon, but it feels good to finally let everything out, to confide in someone. Even if you can’t see this problem being fixed.

“But it would be safer to just be friends, you know? And I’m sure he’s thinking the same thing,” you murmur quietly, grabbing the ball of tangled jewelry again to give your hands something to do.

“But ‘just friends’ don’t look at each other like that, (Y/N), and you know it,” Sage says, flashing you a knowing look.

“Like what?”

“You really are clueless, huh?” she teases, “I swear, I thought you and Joe have been endgame since sophomore year! When you were talking about having crushes on guys, you’d always compare them to Joe.”

You stare at her, “I would fucking not.”

“Yes, you would!” she nods furiously, “Always saying things like ‘Peter and I laughed all class today, which reminded me of the time Joe and I…blah blah blah’. Or ‘Taylor asked me out, but I said no, because I had plans with Joe that night’. Sister, are you serious? Best friends cancel plans with each other to let their friends go on hot dates.”

“Well, I never told him about Taylor asking me out!” you say, throwing your arms up in exasperation, “I’m sure if I did, Joe would have been fine with me bailing.”

“But you didn’t tell him,” Sage says pointedly.

“No, I didn’t, but that doesn’t mean….it doesn’t mean I have a crush on Joe. It’s just my personal business! He doesn’t have to know everything about me,” you huff indignantly.

“Best friends know that shit, (Y/N). The fact that you care so much about Joe but chose not to tell him about Peter or Taylor or anyone else who you’ve hooked up with is kind of telling, isn’t it?”

“I…I…,” you stammer, unable to come up with a reply.

Sage sighs, smiling sweetly at you and squeezing your knee before standing, busying herself with unpacking again.

“I mean, I get why you’d have a crush on him,” she shrugs, “Joe’s really cute. And a good kisser, too.”

You stop dead, the charms of the necklace you’re untangling clinking together. Sage’s words are processing in your mind, the gears turning embarrassingly slow.

“How do you know that?” you venture tentatively, setting down the tangled mass of delicate gold chains.

“What, that Joe’s talented with his tongue? We hooked up a few times freshman year, like super messy, floor-of-the-frat-house make out sessions. He’s a sweet guy, but he definitely wanted something more serious, so we had fun and went our separate ways,” Sage answers nonchalantly, continuing to fold t-shirts into her dresser.

You take a shaky breath in, the world spinning a little around you. The image of your two best friends as stupid, drunk freshman rolling around together on some sticky floor would ordinarily be an equally embarrassing and hilarious thought, but it makes you sick to your stomach.

“You never told me,” you mumble, fidgeting with the hem of your shorts.

“I didn’t?” Sage asks, looking at you over her shoulder, “I thought I did.”

“Why didn’t you guys tell me?” you hiss, gritting your teeth to try and keep tears from falling.

Sage crosses her arms and cocks out her hip, clearly a little frustrated by your reaction.

“Babe, in all fairness, I didn’t know you then. And I didn’t know until five minutes ago that you had feelings for Joe, on top of already having fucked him! I love you, but it’s my business who I hook up with, and to be perfectly honest, I thought Joe would have told you by now, considering he knows how often we hang out.”

You just shake your head, the first few hot tears beginning to slip out. You know she’s right, that it’s unfair of you to be so angry when all this happened years ago, but you can’t help feeling betrayed somehow.

“Still, Sage, you should have…”

“(Y/N), you are getting angry at the wrong person,” she begins, sitting next to you on the bed, “Of course, if we had known each other then and I knew you had feelings for Joe, I never would have made out with him. You know that. But you can’t retroactively call dibs. Plus, you weren’t even friends with him freshman year. But clearly the boy is in love with you, (Y/N), and it’s pretty obvious that you lo…”

“Everyone needs to stop telling me how to feel!” you yell, jumping to your feet, angrily wiping at the tear tracks on your cheeks.

“I’m not trying to…”

“Yes, you are! And Joe tried to get me to admit it that night by the fucking golf course pond, too! Why can’t…why can’t I just…,” you stammer angrily, unable to pin down your emotions.

“Why can’t you just be honest with yourself?” Sage snaps back, “what the hell are you afraid of, (Y/N)?”

Silent, open-mouthed sobs are wracking your body, the swirling cloud of emotions too much for you to handle. You sink down onto the ground, pulling your knees to your chest.

“What are you afraid of, (Y/N)?” Sage repeats, softer this time.

“I…I d-don’t know.”

“Well, sweets, I think you need to talk to Joe,” she suggests, kneeling next to you and pulling you in for a tight hug, “I know it’s scary, but the only way to fix this is to be honest with him.”

“B-but what if…”

“No,” Sage cuts you off with a kind but stern look, “you’ve had enough ‘what if’s’. Why can’t you finally have a ‘why not’?”

You just cry, clutching onto the front of Sage’s sweatshirt as you stain it with tears. She just hums softly, rubbing your back.

“I’m s-sorry that I d-didn’t t-tell you sooner,” you stammer out, the apology punctuated by hiccups.

“It’s okay, (Y/N),” she says, “I mean, am I a little pissed that I missed out on all this tea over the summer? Yes. But I’m happy you’ve told me know, and honestly honored that you confided in me like this.”

You nod, wiping away the tear tracks on your cheeks, “Thank you for listening.”

“Anytime, lovely. And now, the best part about telling me begins.”

“What do you mean?” you ask warily, a little afraid of the plan Sage is undoubtedly cooking up.

“Because now I can help you get him alone,” she says, flashing a wicked grin, “And I just so happen to know where he’s going to be tonight.”

* * *

How you always end up on the porch of Beta Theta Pi is beyond you, but there you are again, nearly four months after that last fateful visit, ready to finally talk to Joe about how you feel. Well, as ready as you can be, six vodka shots deep.

The pre-game at Ollie’s apartment off-campus definitely got a little out of hand, the alcohol flowing freely during some wild games of King’s Cup as ABBA blasted in the background. By the time Sage suggested Strip Go-Fish, it was time to get going to Frat Row, so your small group staggered out the door, cheering incoherently about the first big bash of senior year. Sage kept whispering in your ear about how important it is that you find Joe at the party, and you nodded, the alcohol in your system carrying away your fear of confrontation.

But now, standing on the porch in the rapidly cooling early fall air, seeing the party raging inside through the open front door, your confidence falters. Even through your alcohol-induced haze, you can feel the anxiety bubbling up, burning your throat. Or maybe that’s just the vodka. At least you can get rid of that easily.

Sage and Ollie seem to sense your hesitation and each take a side, grasping you firmly and pulling you into the house.

“I think maybe…,” you begin, looking around at the familiar surroundings of the frat house. Did they clean this place over the summer? Wild.

“Maybe what? We should dance?” Sage offers, grinning at Ollie, who eagerly nods.

“Come on, Y/N, they’re playing Ke$ha,” he adds, pulling you in the direction of roaring music. The darkened living room that’s serving as the dance floor smells of stale beer and weed, the two strobe lights perched on the table in the corner illuminating the room with flashes of rainbow-colored light. The bass line begins to flow through your veins like the alcohol, and you are transported, immediately giving into the music. There’s plenty of time to find Joe, right? You might as well enjoy the party first.

As you, Sage, and Ollie swing your hips and sing along to “Your Love is My Drug”, a smile spreads across your face. This is how the beginning of the school year is supposed to feel; carefree and wild, blasted off your ass and listening to mid-2000s hits with your friends at a smelly frat party. The three of you go absolutely bezerk during the last chorus, jumping up and down and grinning madly at each other, sharing a moment of complete euphoria.

The next song starts, the bass boosted to 100. Your ears prick up, the telltale intro to Beyoncé’s “Drunk In Love” blasting through the frat house’s speakers. Sage taps you on the shoulder and gestures to the kitchen, signaling that she is going to get a drink, and Ollie follows suit, miming that he’ll be back in a minute. Ordinarily, you’d be a little anxious to be on the dancefloor on your own, but for some reason, tonight you feel totally fine. The floor of the house is vibrating from the bass, and you dance to the beat, your eyes closing as you get into the music.

Suddenly, a cheer goes up from the other side of the dark living room, where a huge gang of freshman has gathered. They have formed a circle, dancing up on each other as they yell at the figure bobbing wildly in the middle. Your eyes feel a little fuzzy and you can’t see too far, so you inch your way over to see what the fuss is about.

Lo and behold, the boy you came here to find is breaking it down in the center of the ring of freshmen, still in his orientation leader uniform. His orientation group is shrieking with laughter, clapping and grinning at their OL’s goofy antics. Several of them have whipped out their phones, and Joe hams it up for the cameras, pulling ridiculous faces and winking as he drops to the ground and begins to do The Worm. You can’t help but laugh.

Joe’s eyes immediately snap to you, the laughter sparkling in them quickly fading to apprehension. He scrambles up from the floor, plastering on a fake smile and clapping one of the boys near him on the back.

“Tyler, you take over!” he laughs, his eyes still locked on yours.

Tyler immediately jumps in and the group cheers as Joe slips away. He comes towards you, but swerves left, giving you a weak smile as he tries to skirt around you.

“Hey, (Y/N),” he mutters, heading towards the kitchen.

“They finally played Beyoncé for you, huh?” you say quickly, grabbing his wrist, “that’s why you were dancing, right?”

Joe nods, another tight-lipped smile playing across his face as he tries to pull his wrist gently from your grasp.

“Th’ kids seem to really like you,” you slur, “shouldn’t be surprised.”

“How much have you had tonight?” Joe questions, worry flashing briefly in his eyes.

“A lot, Sage and Ollie and I played King’s Cup, ‘n I had to drink the cup, so” you explain, gesturing vaguely, still holding his wrist.

“Do you wanna dance with me?” you ask, tugging lightly on him.

“I’m working,” Joe answers flatly.

“Come on,” you whine, “you were dancing jus’ a second ago, why won’t you dance with me now?”

“Because I’m busy,” he states impatiently, “gotta make sure no one overdoes it. And I have to make my rounds, so please let me go.”

“No,” you pout, your grip tightening, “dance with me!”

“Let me go right now!” Joe hisses, twisting out of your grip, “What is your problem, (Y/N)?”

“What is my problem?” you repeat back to him, eyes widening, “my problem? No, it’s our problem, Joe. Our problem. The two of us, together.”

He groans, stepping away from you, “I don’t want to talk about this right now.”

“So when?” you spit out, “when can you pencil me in, Joe? When can you make time for me?”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” he hisses back.

“You’ve been ignoring me all summer, ever since New York, and I fucking missed you,” you say, feeling a few tears starting to prick in your eyes.

“Oh, so now we care about feelings, I see,” Joe bites back, rolling his eyes and turning away from you towards the kitchen.

“You don’t care about my feelings at all Joe, so stop pretending like you do,” you yell, a few heads whipping in your direction, equally excited and repulsed by the unfolding drama.

“When were you gonna tell me about you and Sage, huh? Or did you keep that from me because you care about my feelings?”

Joe stops dead in his tracks, his back to you. Over his shoulder, you can see Sage and Ollie, gaping at the scene in front of them. The music is still blasting, but all chatter has stopped, every eye in the room trained on the meltdown in the middle of the dance floor.

“That really isn’t any of your business, (Y/N),” he spits out, his tone ice cold, “And besides, you fucking hated me freshman year, so what does it matter?”

“Yeah, I fucking hated your mustache freshman year too, but that doesn’t stop you from growing another set of pubes on your face now, does it?” you shriek back, “it looks like a caterpillar crawled up your neck and died, Joe! It’s fucking disgusting!”

“You know, I really don’t have to stand here and listen to this right now,” Joe retorts, still not looking at you. He walks towards the hallway, clapping another OL on the shoulder, muttering about how he has to go.

“Next time you make out with my friend, you fucking tell me!” you shout at his retreating figure, tears beginning to stream down your face, “you talk to me, Joe!”

The front door of the house slams shut, the sound making nearly everyone in the room wince. Your chest is heaving, tears flowing freely from your eyes as you stand frozen in the living room. It feels like you blacked out. Everything moved too fast. What just happened?

Sage snaps you out of your thoughts by grabbing your arm and pulling you out into the hallway.

“What the fuck was that?” she growls, “that was not what we talked about.”

“Yeah, well, I’m drunk, Sage, and your plan was shit to begin with,” you grumble, eyes lolling shut to avoid the harsh overhead light.

“No, that went to shit because it wasn’t the plan,” she hisses, shaking you a little, “and you really didn’t need to bring mine and Joe’s history into it.”

“Oh, fuck off,” you moan.

“Fine. I will. I’m washing my hands of this whole fucking situation, (Y/N). Good luck. Text me when you’ve fixed it, or when you’re ready to apologize to me,” Sage says coldly, dropping her hands to her side and stalking back to the kitchen.

You stumble down the hallway, flinging open the front door and clambering down the porch steps. All you can think now is that you want to be as far away from this frat house as possible. You wander down the street and turn left onto the main campus, which is softly illuminated by the yellow glow of the streetlamps. The leaves rustle overhead as you walk, kicking stones with the toes of your shoes. A bench appears on your right, and you immediately collapse onto it, pulling your jacket tighter around your body. It’s wet, and you register that you’ve been crying this whole time, tears soaking through the light material.

Tossing your head back, you stare at the moon, rising full and round overhead. It was under this same moon that you and Joe walked home from the frat party in May, giggly and softly wrapped up in each other. It was under this same moon that he filled you so completely for the first time, down in the soft grass on the Hyde Park golf course.

And it’s under this moon now that you realize, fully and honestly, how badly you fucked up. You let your fear of rejection completely take over your life, torpedoing your friendship before any romantic feelings even had the opportunity to consider doing so. Self-sabotage is one hell of a drug, and you’re feeling the effects now. You need to talk to him. You need to set things right if you have any chance of salvaging this friendship.

Heaving yourself up from the bench, you begin to tread in the direction of Joe’s dorm. Kennedy House is an old, imposing grey stone building in the center of campus, famous for its palatial single rooms and horrendously small showers. The façade of the dorm looms like a castle wall, cold and imposing in front of you as you fumble in your pockets for your keycard to swipe into the building, finding nothing but an old gum wrapper and your earbuds.

“Fuck,” you sigh out, “must’ve dropped it at Beta.”

If you knew which window was Joe’s, you might have resorted to throwing pebbles, but just as you were dangerously eyeing the gravel in the flowerbed, another student walks up the front steps of Kennedy, brandishing her keycard. You smile at her.

“Hey, I dropped my card at Beta, could you swipe me in?”

“Uh, sure,” she says, looking you up and down once before swiping her plastic ID through the slot next to the door, the lock releasing with a loud clunk. You thank her and begin to roam the first floor, checking the little nameplates on the bedroom doors. The RA on this floor apparently chose a Disney theme, with each student getting a different character from the most popular films. Tragically, amongst all the princes and animal sidekicks, there is no Joe to be found. You decide to try your luck on the second floor, the doors filled with images of famous cereal brands. The third floor is equally adorable with zoo animals, but equally frustrating with its lack of Joe. You’re starting to believe that you misread his message about where he lived. Finally, while roaming the fourth floor, you find his door. A little paper peach is taped to the painted wood, his name spelled out in thick, inky block letters. Farmer’s market theme? How wholesome.

Your fist hesitates in front of the door, your mind racing as you pray that he is in his room. It’s now or never.

“Joe, it’s me,” you say softly, knocking gently on the wood.

No response.

“Are you asleep?” you ask, knocking again, “Joe, I really wanna talk.”

A few faint voices float in from the open hallway window. The students smoking on the front stoop are loud enough that, if you hadn’t been listening to the door so intently, you would have missed it. The tiniest of sniffles from the other side of the peeling paint.

“Joe, I know you’re in there!” you bark, voice cracking in desperation as you begin hammering on the door, “please open the door.”

The creaking of bed springs and the shuffle of feet alert you to the fact that Joe has gotten out of bed. You step back from the door, ready to see him, but the door does not open.

“Go away, (Y/N).”

“Did you seriously get out of bed to tell me that?” you scoff, banging on the door again, “I am not gonna go away until we talk, Joe!”

“So now you want to talk?” Joe bites back. You can almost hear the angry curl of his lip.

“Yes, Joe, I do,” you say firmly, “please.”

There is a long pause, punctuated with shaky breaths from both sides of the hard wood. Finally, the lock clicks and Joe opens the door just a crack, his eyes peering out from the darkened room.

“So talk.”

“I’m not doing this out in the hallway, Joe.”

“Fine,” he mumbles, opening the door further and turning quickly around, flicking on the string lights by his bed before sitting heavily in the wooden desk chair, “close the door behind you.”

You shut the door as you step into the dimly lit room, the orangey glow of the lights flickering across Joe’s stone-cold and clean-shaven face. You blink your eyes rapidly, staring at the newly-bare patch of skin on his upper lip. He must have just shaved it when he got home from the party.

“Your mustache…” you murmur, absentmindedly reaching out to cup his cheek, your thumb grazing lightly against a bead of blood weeping from a razor nick. Joe’s eyes flutter closed at your touch, a tiny sigh escaping his lips as he lets himself be held by you. But the moment does not last long, his eyes flying open wildly as he swats your hand away.

“I shaved it off, “he spits out, shrinking away from you, “because it was just so ugly, right? Are you happy now?”

“I…I didn’t mean…”

“To fucking roast me in front of my orientation group? In front of every goddamn person in Beta? There’s an awful lot you do that you don’t seem to mean, (Y/N), and I’m really tired of you making a fool out of me,” he says, eyes full of fire.

“What have I done to embarrass you, Joe?” you return, heat rising in your cheeks, “you’re the one that started all of this last May! You’re the one that permanently fucked up this friendship, you and that mouth of yours. So why am I the one to blame now?”

“Oh, please, (Y/N), you’re the one that said yes!”

“And you’re the one that said it wouldn’t change anything between us.”

Joe swivels in his chair, his hands fisting frustratedly in his auburn hair, squeezing his eyes shut and tugging at the roots as he responds.

“We both chose to believe that, though, didn’t we?”

He’s right. If you had truly thought it was a bad idea, you wouldn’t have accepted Joe’s offer, right? But you did. And you enjoyed it. A lot. You exhale a shaky breath, leaning against the wall near his bed.

“But why would you offer to do that, then, if you…if you maybe thought things would be different after?” you ask, your eyes searching for Joe’s.

There’s a softness to his brown eyes when he finally meets your gaze, a softness that betrays more feeling than he probably would want to, if he could see himself.

“Maybe…maybe I wanted things to change.”

His words squeeze the breath right out of your lungs.

“(Y/N), I’ve been crazy about you ever since Spring Weekend during Freshman year. Why do you think I was standing outside your room before vomiting all over it? I wanted to ask you out even then. I just…just used too much liquid courage to hype myself up for doing it, and well…” he pauses, scratching the back of his neck.

Your back starts sliding down the wall, your legs folding under you as you sink slowly to the floor. What is happening right now? Did Joe really just confess that he has feelings for you? Everything needs to stop. You need time to catch up. But Joe just keeps talking, a freight train of emotions barreling out of his mouth.

“And then when I saw you in that English lecture the next fall, I swear I truly believed there was a God. I was so pumped when the professor sat us next to each other, so I could apologize for being a dick in the spring and maybe get to know you. The more I learned about you, the more I wanted to spend every minute of every day around you. And finally you wanted to hang out. And finally we got closer. But the closer we got, the more you started to see me as a friend.”

You nod your head slowly, eyes glazed over. It feels like you are a million miles away from campus right now, with Joe’s voice seeping hazily into your brain. You wish he would stop talking.

“And I love being your friend, (Y/N)! I’m not saying this to make you feel guilty or anything, or to make you feel like you owe me anything…god, I really sound like an incel piece of shit. I just…that night last May, after the party, it broke my heart to see how stressed out you were, and my idiot brain just blurted out whatever it was thinking. And when you agreed, all I could think was ‘finally, I get to worship this beautiful girl like I’ve always wanted, like she’s always deserved.’”

“Joe, please…” you moan weakly, head resting in your hands.

“But then, you didn’t want anything between us to change. And when you visited me in New York, you kept saying that, too. So I tried my best to just enjoy what we were doing, and believe me, it was great,” he chuckles, running his hands through his hair again, “but I had to try and squash down all these years of feelings, and they all came spilling out on that golf course. Seeing you on top of me, your eyes shining in the moonlight…God, (Y/N), you really don’t know how amazing you are. And I tried again to be vulnerable, to let you know how I feel, but you clearly didn’t feel the same way. That hurt. And it still hurts. But if you really want us to go back to just being friends, I’m willing to try. Because I can’t lose you...because…because I...”

“Joe, please stop,” you croak out again, tears flowing freely, “I can’t do this.”

Joe snaps out of his monologue, finally realizing that you’re slumped on the floor at the side of his bed. He slips out of the desk chair, kneeling in front of you and gently placing a hand on your knee.

“What are you afraid of? Please, (Y/N), just tell me…”

“We are running out of time,” you choke out, digging the heels of your hands roughly into your tear-soaked eyes. You can feel the fine, dark grit of running mascara on your skin, but there isn’t really a point now of trying to not make it worse. Joe tries to pull your hands away from your face but you jerk away from him, curling in on yourself. A few tears start to prick in the corners of his eyes.

“What do you…”

“There’s an expiration date on all this, Joe!” you explode, whipping your face to look at him, “We get one year together, just nine more months! And then what? We find jobs, go to grad school, get scattered everywhere across the globe? How can I feel good about starting a relationship that I know will end in heartbreak?”

Joe recoils from your outburst, sitting back on his heels as you seethe in front of him.

“So you’re saying that no matter what, we would have to break up in May?” he begins slowly, clearly trying to keep his temper, “What if we ended up in jobs in the same city? We could do long distance. Are you really saying that this wouldn’t be worth it? That we wouldn’t be worth it?”

You groan, throwing your head against the wall, “It’s fucking hard, Joe! At graduation, you say bye to your friends knowing that when you see them again, it’ll be just like old times! You’ll pick up where you left off. And I don’t want us to change. I don’t want to leave you in May and drift apart because of distance or whatever.”

“I wouldn’t let that happen,” Joe grits out, firmly grabbing your leg.

“Well, you let it happen this summer.”

That makes Joe freeze. Anger is dancing in his eyes, and you can tell you hit a nerve.

“I was fucking hurt, (Y/N). You crushed my heart that night on the golf course.”

“Oh, boo-fucking-hoo, Joe! You ambushed me with wanting to talk about your feelings, apparently feelings you’ve had for forever. You can’t just do that!”

“Well, what was I supposed to do then, huh?” Joe fumes, his voice full of acid, “just keep fucking you, pretending there wasn’t any emotion in it? Keep biting back all the things I wanted to whisper in your ear while I was deep inside you? Where would nine more months of that get us, huh? Because just a few months of that has gotten us here, and I fucking hate being here.”

“So then go!” you shriek, scrambling to your feet, “you got what you wanted! You got to fuck the girl you’ve had a crush on for years, and you even got some free fashion advice and a trip to the roller rink out of it! You basically just admitted that that was the moment you’ve been waiting for for all these years, so just check me off the conquest list and fucking go! But I’m not going to spend my last year of college playing ‘will-they-won’t-they’ with someone who doesn’t respect my need for time and space and…and…”

“You aren’t making any sense, (Y/N), just listen to yourself!” Joe yells, jumping up and gesturing wildly at you.

“Well if I’m so fucking insane, Joe, just tell me to shut up and kick me out of your room, then!” you shriek back, stepping towards him. Joe growls at you, low and deep from the back of his throat, his eyes dangerously dark.

“I’ll make you shut up.”

And suddenly, his lips are on yours, feverishly angry and hot, pressing you up against the wall. One of his hands immediately finds your hip while the other tangles in your hair, tugging harshly. You moan into his mouth, your teeth grazing his bottom lip. This should not be happening, but both your bodies are saying quite the opposite. Joe grinds against your thigh and you whimper, reaching down to palm him over his jeans, but as your fingertips graze over his hardening length, he breaks the kiss and pushes you away, blinking rapidly.

“No. No. This…this can’t happen again,” he stammers out, shaking his head with wide eyes, “I can’t.”

You just stare at him, your lips swollen and still hanging open.

“I can’t do this anymore, (Y/N).”

“Well you’re the one who kissed me just now, Joe,” you reply, matter-of-factly.

“I know, and I’m sorry,” he says, sinking down onto his bed, “I just want to know what this is. What we are. If this is going to go anywhere. Because if it isn’t, we need to stop this. Quit cold turkey.”

You nod silently, praying that your mind could stop spinning for long enough to make a decision. It is now or never.

“Can you say something, please?” Joe whispers, picking anxiously at his nails, “I just want to know what you’re thinking.”

On shaky legs, you slowly walk over to the bed, sitting gingerly down on the soft comforter. Joe’s eyes are glued to you, desperate for any indication about where your mind is at. You pick a spot on the wall to stare at, stabilizing yourself.

“I’ve known…ever since I visited you, I’ve known that I really like you, Joe. And ever since we fought at your house, I’ve known that I don’t like my life when you’re not in it. I just…”

Joe visibly deflates, sighing, “There it is. The whole ‘I like you, but’ speech.”

“Joey, let me finish,” you plead, gripping his thigh, “please.”

He nods, delicately placing his hand over yours, squeezing lightly.

“I like you. I want this. I don’t know how long I’ve wanted this, but I know it’s what I want. But I don’t think you want me.”

“What? (Y/N), that’s ridiculous!” Joe scoffs, “haven’t you been listening to anything I’ve been saying?”

You just shake your head, feeling your throat close up as the tears return, streaming in torrents down your face. It is just like the night in Hyde Park all over again. Joe being his sweet, earnest self, and your brain trying to take you down from the inside. But you can’t stop it.

“I’m not enough for you. I’m not good enough. And I don’t deserve someone like you, Joe! You are the kindest, sweetest, funniest person I’ve met. Everyone you meet likes you, and I’m just…me.”

“Don’t say that, please don’t…” Joe begins, but you cut him off with a shake of your head, self-hatred spewing like venom from your lips.

“And if we start dating, sure, it’ll be fun, but one day you’ll wake up and realize just how fucking mediocre I am and you’ll leave! I can’t handle that, Joey, because I wouldn’t just be losing my boyfriend…I’d be losing my best friend.”

“(Y/N)…”

“No, Joe, I can already see it happening!” you choke out, gesturing at him, “it already happened. This summer. I was a piece of shit who couldn’t commit and you just left. And I don’t blame you, I really don’t. Why would you want to be with someone who can’t make up her mind? But when I left New York, we stopped talking. And I can’t lose you like that again. The hole you would leave would be too big to fix, so why even open up the space in my heart in the first place?”

This last sentence hangs in the air like a crystal chandelier, costly and deadly heavy. So there it finally is. The real reason why. Free from the swirling currents of anxiety in your mind, released into the stillness of Joe’s dorm room.

“So, dating would…not be…worth it?” Joe asks, slowly and without malice. He genuinely seems to want to figure out why you feel the way you feel.

“No, no!” you moan, squeezing your eyes shut, “I want to be with you, Joe, really. But I don’t want to burden you with me. With all this.”

“What if I told you,” Joe smiles softly, gingerly taking your hand in his, “that you would never be a burden to me, (Y/N). Never. In fact, you’re the opposite of a burden! A, uh…balloon? Free ice cream? A day with no homework?”

For what feels like the first time in forever, the two of you giggle together, genuine smiles spreading across both of your faces.

“You’re really dumb,” you sniffle, playing with his fingers.

“Yeah, I really am,” he grins, “but dating you would be the smartest decision I would ever make.”

“Oh, stop.”

“I won’t! Not until you know how much I love you.”

At those words, your eyes snap up to his, round as saucers.

“Joe, you don’t mean…”

“Yes, I do mean that. I love you, (Y/N). I have for a long time, and I never stopped,” he insists, “not even when you were roasting me at the party about my shitty pube mustache.”

Still dumbfounded, you giggle again, “you looked like Michael Cera.”

“Hey, I’m a firm believer in a relationship having a solid flirt-to-roast ratio,” Joe jokes, “so I’ll take that with grace. As long as you’re okay with me saying that you look like a raccoon right now. Just like you did in May.”

You pull away to try and scrub at your face, but Joe gently grabs your wrists and pulls them into your lap, smiling sweetly at you.

“Stop it, (Y/N), you look beautiful.”

“No I don’t!” you gasp, playfully wriggling away from him.

“Most beautiful raccoon this side of the Atlantic!”

“Ew, don’t say that ever again, Joe,” you tease, “people will think you’re a furry, and then I’d have to break up with you. My reputation is on the line.”

“Oh yeah?” he scoffs, tackling you on the bed, “and what reputation is that, exactly?”

“Okay, you got me there,” you laugh, looking up at him, “I’m a woman of ill-repute.”

“Perfect,” he hums, “just how I like ‘em.”

Joe leans down, kissing you for the second time that night. While the kiss before was undoubtedly hot, the sincerity of this one sends heat rushing through your entire body. Of all the kisses the two of you have shared over the past few months, this one feels the most perfect. The most complete. It makes all the heartbreak and anxiety worth it, in a way. You feel like finally, you’ve found each other.

Joe’s thigh is perfectly situated between your legs, and you scoot down the bed, beginning to rut your core needily against his khaki shorts. He moans into your mouth, squeezing your hips.

“We don’t need to do anything tonight if you don’t want to, (Y/N), I know it’s been a lot.”

“Clearly,” you pant, circling your hips again, “I want to fuck you right now, Joe.”

“Well, if you insist,” he chuckles, helping you sit up and remove your shirt before ripping his own off.

“I’ve missed this,” you sigh, running your hands across his smooth chest.

“You could’ve had it for years, you know” he teases, his usual Joe humor returning at full force.

You groan from both frustration and the friction between your thighs, “Don’t remind me. Next time I’m being such a dumbass, please tell me.”

“With pleasure.”

In between heated kisses and soft moans, both pairs of shorts are haphazardly tossed to the floor, wandering hands making up for months and years of lost time. It feels as if you two have never touched each other before, each stroke and squeeze sending sparks shooting through your bodies. Joe’s fingers find their way to your core, rubbing your clit firmly through your panties.

“Fuck, (Y/N), you’ve soaked these all the way through,” he murmurs, tugging the material to the side to swipe a finger through your folds.

“So take them off then,” you moan, back arching off the bed, “I need you, Joe.”

“Ordinarily, I’d tease you for being so needy,” Joe pants, “but I’m pretty fuckin’ needy too.”

The bulge in his boxers is too prominent to ignore. You reach out to touch him, but he pulls away, fishing through the bins under his bed.

“Joe,” you pout, “come back, I can…”

“No need, babe, I swear if you put your lips on me I’ll come right then and there. And, as lovely as those lips are, I would much prefer to be inside you.”

You swallow thickly as you shimmy out of your panties, a sticky thread of your wetness pulling away with them. Joe has been busy unwrapping the condom, but when he sees you, lying ready, eager, and soaked in front of him, he stops mid-roll, cock twitching.

“You’re so fucking hot, (Y/N). God, I’m lucky,” he groans, hastily rolling the condom fully on.

“Stop flattering me and fuck me instead, Joe.”

“Why not both?”

“Touché,” you grin, reaching out and grabbing his biceps, pulling him in for a rough kiss. The feeling of skin on skin sends another thrill through you and you grip him tighter, looping a leg around his hip and nudging him towards your core. Joe lays you back on the bed, softly, pressing kisses down your chest as you squirm underneath him, gasping.

“Are you ready?” he asks between kisses, murmuring gently against your skin.

“God, yes,” you keen, running your fingers down his back, “I want you inside me, Joe.”

“Whatever you want, gorgeous,” he smirks, running his cock through your slick folds a few times before pushing inside you in one fluid motion.

The sensation of being so completely filled by Joe makes you cry out, your nails digging sharply into his shoulder blades.

“You okay?” Joe asks, concern overtaking the pleasure on his face.

“Yes, yes,” you sigh out, “it feels so good, Joe. So perfect.”

“I was gonna say the same thing,” he smiles, a bead of sweat trickling down his temple, “I’m gonna start moving now, is that good?”

You nod, eyes squeezing shut in pleasure as Joe sets a steady, deep rhythm. With each stroke, his cock brushes against your sweet spot, causing your pussy to clench tightly around him.

“Fuck, (Y/N), I’m not gonna last long if you keep doing that,” he growls out, reaching a hand down to rub furious circles on your throbbing clit.

“I’m not either,” you whine, “I’m so close, Joey.”

“Are you gonna cum for me, princess? All over my cock?”

You nod silently, feeling your orgasm build with shocking speed in your core. Joe keeps thrusting into you, hips stuttering as you come undone around him. As you arch off the bed with a scream, he grabs your waist, pulling your body flush to his as he releases into the condom inside you, a deep, satisfied groan coming from the back of his throat.

The two of you come down from your highs together, sticky and sweaty and tangled in each other’s arms. Joe’s breathing is ragged in your ear, his nose rubbing against your temple softly.

“That was…”

“Really fucking…wow,” you finish, smiling lazily at him.

“No regrets yet?” he playfully asks, pulling at your waist gently to get you to roll onto your side and face him.

“No regrets yet. And I have a feeling that I won’t have regrets ever.”

Joe rubs small circles against the soft skin at your waist, humming softly, “You’ve really changed your tune, huh?”

“It was a little off-key before,” you mumble, pressing a soft kiss to his lips.

“Well, good thing I have perfect pitch,” Joe smirks.

“Oh, as fucking if, Joe!” you gasp, smacking him lightly on the chest, “I’ve heard you sing in the shower.”

He feigns hurt, collapsing backwards on the bed, “you wound me, woman! I shall never recover from your barbarous implication.”

“How tragic,” you mock, a sweet smile dancing on your lips, “just as I was starting to fall for you.”

“Really?” Joe sits up, staring down at you with wonder. Years’ worth of hope is beaming from his beautiful brown eyes.

“Yeah, really, Joey,” you murmur, reaching up to run your fingers through his hair, “I love you.”

No words are needed from Joe for you to know he feels the same way. He peppers kisses all over your face, brushing your sweaty hair away from your forehead. He curls up next to you, pulling you into his side as you rest your head on his chest. The two of you stay there together, bathed in the warm glow from the string lights overhead, breathing in each other’s scents as you drift off to sleep.

“Joe?”

“Mmm?”

“I think senior year is gonna be really, really good.”

“Yeah,” he chuckles sleepily, “I think so, too.”

~~~~~~~~~

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makeste · 6 years ago

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BnHA Chapter 192: The Only Path Forward

Previously on BnHA: Dabi confronted Endeavor and Hawks following Endeavor’s victory over the High Brow Noumu. But then my girl Miruko the rabbit hero showed up, so Dabi fled the scene courtesy of some very familiar black ooze warping. We then cut to the League’s mysterious hideout, where MOTHERFUCKING HAWKS was meeting up with Dabi after the fact to complain that Dabi pulled some bullshit with their AGREED-UPON SECRET PLAN by attacking in the middle of a city with an experimental Noumu. Dabi in turn accused Hawks of playing games because he failed to mention Endeavor would be involved, and he also managed to prevent even a single casualty during the resulting chaos. So neither of them fully trust each other, but in the end Dabi sent Hawks off and agreed to call on him again. We then learned that Hawks is actually working undercover at the request of the police, who need eyes and ears within the League to prevent another disaster like Kamino. Hawks agreed to this knowing it would mean he’d have to make some hard decisions and turn a blind eye to some of the League’s antics. It’s implied he’s feeling guilty over what happened to Endeavor, so I have completed the adoption papers and had them notarized. Oh yeah, and speaking of guilt, for some reason Dabi is standing out looking at the night sky and being weirdly sentimental. So yeah, I basically have no idea who is on whose side at this point, but I’m fucking living for it you guys.

Today on BnHA: The world moves on from this latest incident of high profile villain destruction. Recovery Girl heals Endeavor and Hawks accompanies him to the train station while the two of them discuss the suspiciously coincidental appearance of the Noumu. Hawks manages to dismiss Endeavor’s suspicions, and Endeavor bids him farewell, but not before suggesting that Hawks should find somebody to help him with his investigation. We get an extremely intriguing Hawks flashback and learn that he was groomed to be a hero from childhood due to his talent, but that he never wanted it and longs for the day when society doesn’t need heroes anymore. We then cut to the Todoroki house, where Endeavor greets his three Children With Known Whereabouts and has an unpleasant confrontation with Natsuo, who hasn’t forgiven him despite his seeming change of heart and lets him know that in no uncertain terms. Shouto thoughtfully says that “Endeavor the hero” is amazing, but as far as Endeavor the person goes, his feelings are in line with Natsuo’s. However he wants to see what kind of dad he’ll become from here on out. Endeavor realizes that his new purpose is to secure a good future for his children, and that the only thing he can do is continue to move forward. That night we cut to Deku, who finds himself in a strange dream with his body is covered in black smoke. Shimura and the other OFA users are there as well. And then all of a sudden he’s watching a scene from the past -- All for One standing against his younger brother, the first OFA user.

This chapter is so fucking good and this recap is so fucking long you guys lol. because it’s just so good ahhhhhhh.

(As always, all comments not marked with an ETA are my unspoiled reactions from my first readthrough of this chapter. I’ve read up through chapter 212 now, so any ETAs will reflect that.)

Izuku got the cover of Jump on account of the BnHA movie premiere! congratulations Izuku

and young All Might is in the upper right hand corner looking like a vintage Ken doll as always and weirding me out

I still like young All Might, but idk you guys, there’s just something about the black sclera that just cranks it up to 11 for me. really is a shame that only happens as a result of his injury

and there’s a page with some blurry clips from the movie, and then this awesome color spread celebrating 4 whole years!

it just hit home that I have less than 30 chapters left until I’m all caught up oh shit

fourth popularity poll! YOU CHUCKLEFUCKS BETTER SHOW MIRIO SOME FUCKING RESPECT THIS TIME AROUND YOU HEAR

I see Bakugou is wearing a clip-on tie here. for fuck’s sake you’re sixteen years old learn to tie the damn thing already

what the actual fuck is happening with Todoroki and Deku’s pants. and for once, not Bakugou’s. like seriously what the hell, this is unnerving

okay guys, poll time: which of these hand gestures indicating the number four is most valid. is it Deku’s, even though he’s doing it with both hands and thus arguably indicating the number eight instead? Ochako, who has the opposite problem and is going for a 2+2=4 thing? or Jirou, who opted to be asymmetrical and do three on one hand and one on the other?

why do only the girls have hats. and did Deku really insist on wearing his trademark red sneaks even though they clash so fucking horribly. why did the others allow this to happen

(ETA: you know what, given the outfits they wore during the A Band performance, they probably did not give one single fuck)

anyway, I love this page from the bottom of my heart, but we came here today to learn more about Dabi’s weird angst and to find out how screwed Hawks is and exactly how hot Endeavor is going to be once that scar heals over. so let’s get to this

so now it’s two days later and Endeavor is all healed up thanks to Recovery Girl! the perks of being a U.A. alum and the number one hero whom everyone now loves

oh mama

okay guys but I need someone to tell me right the fuck now how this man still has an eye. and an eyebrow. you’re telling me they could heal the eyeball just fine but not the rest of his face

(ETA: I actually got an ask explaining this, but I haven’t gotten a chance to take another look at the scene where he gets wounded yet. but thank you anon!)

it looks like he actually did lose half of his mustache though omg

anyways I fucking knew he was going to come out of this just unfairly hot. and just fucking look at him. smdh

as for Miruko, she just fucked right out of there to continue doing her thing afterward. lol I’m glad they bothered to tell us but honestly I wasn’t that curious, that’s basically what I assumed already

son of a bitch

dsflhlk okay JUST STOP, Horikoshi. who the fuck do you think you are making Hawks apologize so fucking casually even though we now know that in truth, he actually is responsible on a level Endeavor has no clue about, and actually has some grounds for feeling guilty even though he wasn’t to blame. like, here he is slyly making it out to be an apology for calling that meeting where they got attacked, even though in reality WE KNOW THE TRUTH

speaking of that meeting, I wonder if Endeavor has put the pieces together yet that Something Was Not Quite Right About That

also what the fuck is in this giant wheely suitcase. is it his suit?

anyway, so he’s telling Hawks that his injuries are his own responsibility

and Hawks is all “ooh that’s a good response, can I use it next time I’m injured”

ah here we go

look, Endeavor may be a lot of things, but he’s not stupid

Hawks is all “lmao fuck my life”

well you’ve had two whole days to come up with some kind of story so let’s see what you got. if it were me I’d tie it in to your investigation

he says that they were bound to draw some attention as the #1 and #2 heroes, and they probably just caught the villains’ eye

and he’s thinking to himself that that’s the whole reason why he drew so much attention toward them while they were out, so he’d have an excuse

this sounds considerably less plausible when you just got attacked by a goddamn Noumu though you know. and clearly a new breed of them no less

now Endeavor’s telling him to be careful with his investigation

don’t mind me, I’m just sitting here trying to figure out whether this has a double meaning

probably not -- I did say he wasn’t stupid, but I doubt he’s that smart to have figured the whole thing out either. still, this gave me pause lol

(ETA: yeah, on my second readthrough this just reads to me like “if you ever need backup, call me before you go and do anything stupid.” tsundere affection from someone with almost no prior experience in showing that he cares. I don’t think he has any idea what Hawks is really up to, but I think he has an inkling that there’s more going on than meets the eye, and he wants him to be careful.)

Hawks’s reaction is interesting too

and now he’s grinning in that you-like-krabby-patties-don’t-you-squidward way

he just cares about you and you’re young enough to be his son so he’s looking out for you

SPEAKING OF HIS SON are we gonna get to that anytime soon. is that where you’re headed off to now Endeavor? to be with your family? oh to be a fly on the wall during that meeting. oh wait, we’re reading a manga and I’ll literally get to read all about it in just a couple of pages, probably. fuck yeah

so Hawks says that he’ll be back on the job once all his feathers grow back

“it’ll probably be another day or so” holy shit. that’s some crazy fast recovery time

and now he’s bidding Endeavor farewell

...did Endeavor just adopt Hawks too

(ETA: he sure did. this is not a man who just waves at people. this is a dad wave. it’s weird you guys, it’s so fucking weird, but that’s what it is though! at least that’s how I read it)

don’t tell me I’m gonna have to co-parent this in-over-his-head too-smart-for-his-own-good bird child with the world’s second worst dad (yeah, Overhaul’s still got that #1 on lockdown for the rest of eternity though)

now we’re flashing back to that meeting with the cops when they first told Hawks about the undercover assignment

they’re calling it a “proposal” and Hawks is mildly objecting to that term

(ETA: “despite knowing I can’t possibly refuse.” oh my god I have so many feels for this boy. he has no choice in any of this. I just want to wrap him up and keep him safe and just let him rest and chill out and play video games and eat tacos and not have to worry about villains and secrets and keeping his damn guard up all the time and being discovered or killed or getting someone else killed. HORIKOSHI. PROTECT HIM!!)

the woman says she won’t deny that Hawks coincidentally not being in Kamino worked out well for them

oh shit! now we’re cutting to a car accident scene, and at first I thought ‘oh so is this why he wasn’t in Kamino, was he saving these people’ but no!

so this woman basically sponsored him to be a hero then? interesting

holy shiiiiit

so he genuinely does want that, what he was talking about before. but it’s because this is all he’s been doing for his whole life, and it’s simply because he felt obligated to do it because he had the talent and was pushed into the “with great power...” mindset

like, he didn’t really have a choice, is the vibe I’m getting from this? it was the right thing to do and it’s what everyone wanted and he was good at it. but that doesn’t mean it’s what he wanted. but because it’s what was needed, he went ahead and did it

jesus christ. no wonder he can’t muster any genuine starry-eyed enthusiasm for the profession the way all of the other hero characters seem to do. it’s not his dream. it’s his burden

(ETA: yeah so. imagine saving someone’s life when you’re still just a child. being put on the spot and acting without any training, but doing your best because without you these people would die. and imagine that as a reward you’re told you have an obligation to take up the most dangerous occupation there is, and sacrifice your freedom and potentially your life in order to serve the greater good. and having no choice, because you are a good person, and so you can’t just refuse, knowing that there are more lives that you could save.

and as far as everyone else is concerned, you’re a prodigy, young and bold and gifted and living your best life. living a life that many others would envy. but the reality is you’re trapped, with no possible escape in sight other than the precarious hope that one day things will be good enough that your services will no longer be needed.

ladies and gentlemen, if I may hit you up with a blast from the past for one moment, please consider this quote from All Might all the way back in chapter one:

Hawks may have never been much of an All Might fan, but as it turns out, the two of them may have more in common than he ever realized.

yeah, so needless to say I’m watching you very closely Horikoshi, and if you so much as sneeze in a way that looks like you might be considering doing our lost little Icarus any harm, you and I are going to have words.)

and now we are cutting to the Todoroki home!

look at these sweet angels

Endeavor how did it take you so fucking long to realize what you had. you had it so fucking good, dude. these kids are all beautiful and smart and kind and talented and yet you either ignored them or treated them like absolute shit. god, man, you fucked up so bad. this is a second chance that you arguably didn’t deserve! but here you have it anyway! do not fucking waste this, dude

also loving that the Todorokis have such a traditional house but they still have the big flat screen TV right there. because they may be traditional but they still like to watch the cooking channel while they eat

so Endeavor is cautiously saying “long time no see” because you gotta start somewhere, huh

OH MY GOD

AIZAWA DROVE HIM HERE. AND THEN WHAT, JUST STAYED OUTSIDE TO WAIT?

(ETA: because who the hell would want to go and talk to Endeavor when you could stay outside and play with a cat instead)

DID THEY HAVE A MEANINGFUL CONVERSATION ON THE WAY OVER. OR WAS IT QUIET AND AWKWARD. PROBABLY A LITTLE OF COLUMN A AND A LITTLE OF COLUMN B. OH MY GOD. someone better have written fic about it!!

OH MY GOD

TODOROKI SHOUTO IS THE SASSIEST FUCKING CHARACTER IN THIS ENTIRE GODDAMN SERIES CONFIRMED. PACK IT UP BOYS. AIN’T NO ONE EVER GONNA OUTSASS THAT

ENJI I LOVE YOUR FUCKING KIDS SO MUCH YOUR FAMILY IS PERFECT YOU DON’T DESERVE THEM GODDAMN YOU

“JUST BECAUSE YOU HATE HIM”

oh shit Natsu’s getting to his feet and apologizing to Fuyu and saying that he just can’t do this

and he’s walking out the door, but Endeavor’s putting a hand on his shoulder as he leaves and telling him that if he has something to say to go ahead and say it

YOU GO AND PREACH IT, NATSU. YOU DESERVE TO GET IT ALL OFF YOUR CHEST AND HE NEEDS TO UNDERSTAND JUST HOW BADLY HE HURT YOU OR YOU ALL ARE NEVER GONNA HEAL

and I mean, damn. if he didn’t even know Shouto’s favorite food was soba then that basically means he never so much as spent five minutes together with his little brother. Shouto fucking loves soba in the same way Deku loves All Might. it’s probably the purest love in the entire series

yet again the series gives us a glorious scene of Shouto eating food during a time of serious discussion. hungry boi Todoroki Shouto. Todoroki “are you going to finish that” Shouto

and Natsu’s thinking back to what Rei said about Enji trying to face his past and his family head on

but he’s not that forgiving

OH SHIT!?!?

TOUYA. THE FINAL TODOROKI CHILD. AND JUST LIKE WE SUSPECTED, HE IS THE OLDEST

and I get the feeling that whatever happened there is the real reason why Natsu has so much rage built up toward his dad. not that the rest of it wouldn’t be more than enough to make him feel that way, mind. “mom screaming and Shouto crying” holy shit. this family has so many fucking demons

this child needs some hugs people. not from you Endeavor. but maybe Fuyu can go comfort him later. you are valid Natsu and this rage is completely justified. 100%

oh my god this scene, though

this, right here, is the difference between redemption and forgiveness. I’ve essayed about this before. but here it is, vividly on display. Endeavor is actively working toward redeeming himself now, and yet he may never actually be forgiven. he can’t change the past and he can’t erase the hurt emanating from his son. pain that he himself caused. Natsuo may never forgive him, and he’s justified in hating him

but at the same time the only thing Endeavor can do is try anyway to be a better person. he came to all of these realizations much too late, and the damage was already done. but it’s not too late to do whatever he can now. and he clearly is trying to do that

just, it’s such a sad situation, and some really poignant writing, honestly

anyway, Natsuo’s just sarcastically screaming “oh, is that so?” and then storming out and tossing a belated apology over at his sister and thanking her for the food

wonder if he’ll run into Aizawa on his way out. Aizawa will no doubt be in for another interesting conversation with Shouto on the way home. someone write this fucking fic. if they haven’t already. holy shit

now Fuyu is holding her head frustratedly and saying that she was hoping that somehow they would finally able to become a proper family after all this

hey. don’t put this all on Shouto. he has even less reason to forgive Endeavor than Natsuo does. don’t pressure him, let him sort out his own feelings goddammit

...

Todoroki Shouto are you honestly a robot though

now the TV is suddenly cutting to the news and talking about Endeavor! what a fucking coincidence!

and it’s showing all these people giving their opinions after the most recent battle

the newscaster is all, “as you can see, the voices of anxiety haven’t changed”

but! “on the other hand...”

oh my god, Endeavor’s awesome fan now has his own fans. GOOD FOR YOU, CAN’T-YA-SEE-KUN

oh my fucking god

we have reached the point of in-universe memes. this is amazing. this kid’s face is plastered all over the BnHA universe’s version of tumblr. he is the new must-use reaction image. people post their faves struggling followed by “CAN’T YA SEE?!” and they get 100,000 likes. oh my god. this is magnificent

do you all realize what this means. there are memes in the BnHA universe. that means that there is a good likelihood that a number of the U.A. kids, who as we all know have risen to quite the level of fame and prominence themselves in a very short time, have their own memes

the sports festival was broadcast on national fucking television after all. you guys. what is the likelihood that broken-arms Deku became a meme (similar to the way he is in real fucking life). or chained-to-the-podium Bakugou. Bakugou would have been the perfect reaction image for any number of “I don’t want to be here” memes. “when your girlfriend wants to introduce you to her parents but you don’t want to go.” “when you’re in the car and your friend puts on a song you hate and you can’t change it because you don’t have the aux.” “when you’re streaming something and the 30-second ad break comes on and you can’t skip it”

oh my god. Bakugou Katsuki is famous for all the wrong reasons you guys

his mom probably saved all of her favorites and spams him with them constantly

anyways. gotta refocus here lol

so the interviewed people are continuing to gush about the battle. they’re hyped not just about Endeavor, but also Hawks and CYS-kun. “everyone was like, in unison, ‘let’s cheer him on!’ it was crazy!”

so here at least is a little bit of comfort for Endeavor. maybe some broken things can’t be mended, but at least he’s finally learning what it means to be a hero! AFTER TWENTY FIVE YEARS Y’ALL. LATE BLOOMER OR WHAT

-- oh my god!?

he can’t make eye contact while saying it. but he still said it. oh my god

and yet the fact that he made a point of clarifying that he was speaking of Endeavor the hero and not Endeavor his father implies a “but” coming on

yep

what kind of dad. can you become a good dad. you’re finally starting to figure all this shit out, but now here comes the biggest challenge of all

also Shouto is so fucking pure and precious, holy shit. “I haven’t forgiven you for how you tormented mom.” not himself. his mother. he doesn’t even bring his own abuse up. even though he has every right to point out that Endeavor specifically made his life a living hell from the time his quirk developed until the time he went off to high school

and is it because forgiveness for that is not even on the table? or is it because he’s already forgiven him? or is it just that he doesn’t even want to think about it because he’s not ready yet? and I sure hope it’s not because he doesn’t realize just how bad it was, though

just, oh man. so much to unpack here as usual with this family

oh my god Shouto

ENDEAVOR YOU SON OF A BITCH YOU DON’T DESERVE THIS GENTLE, THOUGHTFUL, COMPASSIONATE ANGEL OF A SON

and it’s clear he has no idea what to say in response to that, so he’s just standing there while meanwhile Fuyu is tearing up and telling Shouto she’ll bring him some more soup

holy shit we’re getting Endeavor’s first person thoughts now oh my god

like I said, all of this was brought on by him finally achieving the thing he’d sacrificed everything to achieve, only to come to the stark realization that it wasn’t worth it. at all. so a pretty painful catalyst, all things considered, but if any asshole ever needed that kick in the pants it was this fucker right here

oh fucking shit, fuck me if I’m not getting Endeavor feels oh fuck

“for what reason”, All Might asks. and Endeavor realizes: for our children

oh fuck oh fuck

okay so while I so far have very much liked the delicate way this whole process has been handled as far as his children go, when it comes to his wife that’s a whole nother story. that’s going to be even trickier to pull off, and just. oh boy I’m nervous now

(ETA: still nervous tbh. but I guess we’ll see)

so he’s turning to leave, and Fuyu is like “DAD NOW YOU TOO??”

-- and holy shit, he’s apologizing

for everything

bastard finally got those words out. I can hardly believe it

OH DAMN

FUCK ME IF THAT ISN’T EXACTLY WHAT I’VE BEEN SAYING THIS WHOLE DAMN TIME?

holy shit. holy fucking shit this is too damn good and I love it

oh fuck and now we’re cutting back to Heights Alliance. this may just be the one and only time I’ve ever been slightly disappointed to cut back to 1-A and their antics

and we’re cutting back to Deku, who’s wiped out from the day’s training and promptly collapsing into bed upon returning to his room

HOLY SHIT WHAT THE

WHAT THE HELL KIND OF SPOOKY FUCKING DREAM IS THIS. DEKU COVERED IN SOME KIND OF MYSTERIOUS BLACK FIRE??

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

SHIMURAAAAA

HOLY SHIT, IT’S CLEARLY HER. AND DEKU HAS NEVER SEEN HER FACE BEFORE AND YET THIS IS UNMISTAKABLE

IS THIS THE PAST AVATARS SHIT AGAIN AT LONG LAST?? HOLY SHIT?

OH MY GODDDDDDD

IS THAT ALL MIGHT!?!?!?

and he’s remembering that he’s seen this before. and of course we all recall back during his fight with Shinsou when this happened and he was suddenly able to activate OFA and break Shinsou’s mind control

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

HOLY SHITTTTTT

I HAVEN’T CLICKED TO THE NEXT CHAPTER THIS FAST SINCE FUCKING DEKU VS KACCHAN PART TWO. HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!!!! I’M NOT EVEN GONNA FUCKING ANALYZE ANYTHING, FUTURE ME CAN FUCKING DO THAT. I’M JUST HYPED!! YESSSSSSSS. DEKU’S DAD VS HIS UNCLE LMAO

(ETA: well, future me isn’t going to add anything either, since this recap is long enough as it is. but this really is a great ending to an outstanding chapter you guys)

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binnie-binnie-bambam · 6 years ago

Note

I have been so curious on your tags you have for groups...... can you please tell me a few because I am genuinely curious what you have for them. They are great and hilarious. Like baby nunu boulder I can think about at 3 am and laugh over it

Lmao, yeah I have a weird brain 😂 and I’d love to tell you! Idk what groups you’re into so I’ll just go through them all haha Some have stories, some are just obvious. But I’ll just give the rundown since I talk a lot anyway 😂

UPDATE: I have to put a keep reading thingy because, oh my god I wrote so much. I’m terrible.

Astro

MJ: Happy Virus

That’s a given I think since it’s something he’s known by but he really does make me extraordinarily happy so it fits.

JinJin: Smiley Jinwoo

I love his full name and I almost always use an idols full name in any situation. I mean “JinJin” is adorable obviously, but “Jinwoo” makes me real soft. And he’s a smiley puppy and I can think about his smile anytime and it will automatically make me feel a million times better.

Eunwoo: Prince Dongmin

Again with the full/real name. And “prince” because not only is he very princely in appearance, he also has, in my opinion, some of the most important qualities a prince should have. I’m all about appreciating him for more than just his face!

Moonbin: Binnie Bug

So I have this thing where I only call specific people “bug”. Like it’s not a nickname I use lightly, it’s special to me for a reason that I’m not even able to describe. Binnie just happens to be one of those specific people. And my favorite name to call him is “Binnie” because it sounds cuddly and cute and I call him “Bin” or “Moonbin” when he’s being rude 😂

Rocky: Dancing Minhyuk

Real name again 👍 and he’s extraordinary at dancing. Nothing exciting about this tag, honestly. It doesn’t mean I love him any less!!! I would protect him with my life.

Sanha: Bbu Bbu Sanha

Sanha is captain of Astro’s boat. 👌 And he’s beyond adorable when he says “bbu bbu” so every time I tag it it makes me giggle and smile because I think about how cute he is and how much I wanna pinch his cheeks urghhhhhh I love him.

Got7

Mark: Quiet Sparkle

Mark can sometimes be super quiet and reserved and I really like that side of him. I mean I love his weird loud side too but something about quiet Mark is oddly soothing to me. And to me, he literally sparkles at any given moment.

Jaebeom: Jaememe

I genuinely think it’s impossible for him to avoid being a living, breathing, walking meme and I love it so much.

Jinyoung: Heavenly Jinyoung

Another pretty generic one. He’s just straight up heavenly. In all the way omg (he’s such a great bias wrecker 😩 aghhhh save me from himmmm).

Jackson: Wang Puppy

A given. A typical nickname of his but I just think it’s so cute and accurate. I like to think he’s mainly cute and adorable considering I qualify him as my best friend and most people want to avoid falling in love with their best friend, but I will admit that he messes with my head sometimes and thus, the tag is far from accurate in those cases…

Youngjae: Happy Sunshine

The light of my life (well one of them. MJ and Yeonjun and Youngjae are all one giant sunshine of my life). And happy is my favorite look on him. Excuse me while my heart flutters because I love him so much.

Bambam: Damn Bambam

I actually say this multiple times a day. And more than just for when he’s doing something ridiculously attractive. Sometimes it’s “damn Bambam, why are you so cute and dumb?” other times it’s “damn, Bambam is the best meme.” just to name a few 😂

Yugyeom: Brownie

I know this is also a common nickname for him, although I think people spell it Browny, but for some weird reason, when I first got into Got7, I don’t remember exactly what Yugyeom did, but it made me think of a cosmic brownie, ya know the little debbie snacks, and that’s what was in my brain when I thought up a tag for him 😂

TXT

Yeonjun: Baby Sunshine

He’s the baby out of my three sunshines, the other two as previously stated being MJ and Youngjae. He seriously makes me giddy with happiness and, like I said before, he lights up my life and makes it better.

Soobin: Cucumber Watermelon

I read somewhere when they first debuted that he has a nickname of “cucumber” because he’s tall and I thought it was cute and went with it. The “watermelon” part is because one of my favorite outfits he’s ever worn reminded me of a watermelon. I shall include a photo to illustrate my point, but also because he’s adorable.

Tadaaaaa!!!

Beomgyu: Fluffy Sparkle

Because he’s fluffy and cuddly and cute and squishy and I just wanna squeeze him. Plus fluffy hair on him is my favorite. And he’s another natural born sparkler. Idk how he and Mark do it!

Taehyun: Doe Eyes

They were the first thing I noticed about him. They always look so gentle. Even if he’s bursting with happiness and laughing away, his eyes are still so sweetly soft. I love them.

Hueningkai: Dollbaby

I took one look at this boys face and thought he was an absolute doll. That perfect porcelain skin and those defined petite features, he’s just beautiful and a lot of the time he doesn’t even look real to me.

Monsta X

Shownu: Baby Nunu Boulder

I too laugh at this on a regular basis lmao. He seriously has such a baby face though. Like it’s so cute and his eyes when he laughs I just *squeals into a pillow* “Nunu” because it’s a nickname of his and “boulder” because he’s, well, very large 😂

Wonho: Sin Axolotl

I explained this recently but I’ll just say it again since I’m on a roll lmao. He’s, a lot of the time, sinful to look at. But he’s also basically the cutest living being. And if he was an animal, I know everyone says bunny which I totally agree with, but in my brain, he’s an axolotl. I made a post about it a while back with photos side by side and, quite frankly, I cried a little about how cute I find the comparison to be. Maybe I’ll look for it, and cry again, and repost it.

Minhyuk: Soft Angel Face

I don’t mean this in a negative way so I’m not really sure how to word this without it sounding that way, but 95% of the time, I’m not wildly attracted to Minnie. It’s not that I don’t find him attractive at all, it’s just he’s more often than not extraordinarily adorable and pretty to me. There’s still that 5% of the time where he messes with my head but for the most part, he’s very soft and sweet and angelic looking to me.

Kihyun: Hamster Clam

This is one of my personal favorites 😂 This is the one I think about at 3 AM and laugh about. He’s compared to a hamster all the time and I love it so much and think it’s so accurate. But the clam part *starts laughing again* There’s this moment in some interview of MX’s, I have no idea what it was since I’ve never seen the full thing, just this clip that’s permanently ingrained in my mind, but Kihyun says something about like clam chowder or something and than Changkyun takes the mic and says “You look like a clam. Sorry.” It makes me laugh randomly and that’s why I chose it. Every Monbebe knows about that clip I’m sure. I’m still relatively new here so I don’t know everything and feel like I have to explain what I do know lmao

Hyungwon: Anime Prince

He’s so princely to me. Like he just looks regal. Don’t get me wrong, he’s a complete dork, but he looks very princely in my opinion. And to me, and probably other people, he looks like he just stepped out of an anime at any given moment of any given day. As an anime and manga lover, it makes me feel some type o’ way.

Jooheon: Joobee

Obviously known as JooHoney, I wanted to go off the beaten path and this is what my brain came up with. It’s not very creative, I’m aware of that. But I think it sounds really adorable and it fits him and I’d probably call him that if I knew him irl too.

Changkyun: Crisis Causing Boy

Curse this boy, I swear. He messes with me sooooo much. One minute he’s squishy and so so cute and I just wanna cuddle with him. The next minute he’s *string of curse words*. A demon. A demon, I tell you. He has caused me to have more crises than I can count so that’s why his tag is what it is.

As for tags for members of other groups I don’t stan yet, I only have one because I couldn’t pass up the opportunity when it presented itself in my brain. Also, I consider Ateez to be one of the groups I stan but I don’t have tags for them other than their names yet. Anyway, the one I have a tag for.

Woozi: Oojigoojigoo

I both hate myself for this and am impressed that I’m crazy enough to think of this. I just had to find out that his name is pronounced “oo-ji” and not phonetically. My exact thoughts when I discovered this are as follows: *gasp* “Ooji.” *has epiphany* *another gasp* “A baby.” *fawns over his cuteness* “Ooji - gooji - goo!” *is ashamed* “I’m a disgrace. I am the scum of the earth. I’m a genius!”

So yeah, I wrote a fucking novel I’m sorry 😂 You probably didn’t want all of this information. But now everyone knows my secrets…..? Are they secrets? Not really. Anyway, I’m sorry this is the longest post ever but I hope you at least find something of this entertaining or cute or any positive emotion really. And thank you so much for asking. I love exposing my horrible mind and terrible sense of humor to the world.

No seriously thank you. I’ve got questions about my tags before so I’m glad people are at least somewhat interested in them and what they mean/where they came from. I might update this is I think of more tags for the groups I get into in the future. This was fun. For fucks sake, I need to shut up, I’m so sorry.

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ryouverua · 6 years ago

Text

Chekhov’s Bathroom

RECORD SCRATCH -

so you may be wondering how I got myself into this situation -

PREVIOUSLY ON DANGANRONPA V3...

... we found out the classroom has an incredibly interesting mechanism that not only creates flashback lights, but immediately transforms the whole setup back to normal the moment someone comes in. WHICH. UH. IS HUGE.

Also, we’re nowhere near the girl’s bathroom - but we’re getting to that, I promise.

.... Also also, Himiko is alive, which is very good! And I’m super happy for her! I’m just, uh, distracted, that’s all.

L-LOOK HIMIKO I AM REALLY HAPPY TO SEE YOU BUT I DON’T THINK YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT WE’VE JUST UNCOVERED HERE -

Oh crap that’s right though! I guess we aren’t assuming she was able to dislodge it enough from her side by way of time and effort? .... I did just associate the word effort with Himiko, didn’t I. T-TO BE FAIR THOUGH, SHE HAS GOTTEN CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT -

sweetcheeks has the cutest little ‘e-eto...’ sound clip istg

Aaaaw Shuichi! He’s gotten so much better at expressing his feelings!

LMAO HIMIKO

WE’RE TREADING INTO UMINEKO TERRITORY WITH THAT SORT OF LANGUAGE man she really is trying to change the genre even now

I was going to say you really need to tell her about the flashback light machine you found but now I’m afraid of bursting her bubble. 8′D

....

You know what? Speaking of adorable sound clips, her ‘KA KA KA - !’ is also cute af. Equality!

- another seacats references

sweetcheeks I’m sorry I can’t help it

okay I know that it’s just the building collapsing from the damage but at the same time -

“K1-B0 CAN YOU PLEASE WATCH YOUR AIM!”

“SORRY CAN’T HEAR YOU, I ONLY LISTEN TO PEOPLE WHO ACTUALLY FINISH MY FTES -”

I was just one away k1-b0 I was just one away -

“And how crazy would it be if someone died in an investigation, anyway - oh wait -”

Yet another bone for the my fellow Umineko fans but man I can’t get over the similarities between Maria and her - I honestly wonder if she was inspired by her at all. 8′D

ANYWAY IGNORE ME TIME TO DECONSTRUCT THE MAGIC SOLUTION -

..... you lost me. But I suppose that’s why she’s inviting us to investigate the bathroom with her -

HIMIKO. HIMIKO. FOCUS.

......... this would be a bad time to bring up the Love Hotel, huh.

It would also be a good time to bring up the whole flashback light situation too, but??? We don’t? Okay, fine. Moving on, I suppose.

MORE RUNNING - though at least it’s a lot closer than the other spots? LIKE A CERTAIN ASTRONAUT’S LAB LOOK I LOVE YOU KAITO AND TSUMUGI BUT FFS WAS THAT NECESSARY -

Omg I love Shuichi’s internal monologue here as he stares at the bathroom door and tries to psyche himself up after going in -

Full disclosure Shuichi? It’s just a room. I’ve accidentally walked into the guy’s room myself. It’s... just a room. It’s not a big deal. Just. Just go in there, dude.

SWEETCHEEKS. YOU ALSO NEED TO FOCUS.

IT’S REALLY NOT A BIG DEAL UNLESS IT’S IN USE.

One step two step three step you can do this Shuichi Saihara this bathroom’s got nothing on you, we have the Detective’s Authority on our side - !

“Please tell me quickly before I pass out from stress.”

................ this sounds more like the Chamber of Secrets to me, but okay.

Wait, no, seriously, were they connected? Since when was Junko’s hidden room connected to the bathroom? I swear they weren’t??? Wasn’t there a special control room and everything? Am I misremembering?

?????? Seriously, though? W-What in the world are you talking about???

Honestly if this appeared behind the sink I would have freaked out. .... Well, more than I’m freaking out, for multiple reasons. There’s the general ‘oh shit a secret passage’ and then there’s the more specific my brain associates two characters with this room because of a certain scene for shipping purposes and one of them is still alive, currently with us, and incredibly suspicious -

Oh goodness, how fitting that they left finding the hidden passage for the Ultimate Magician. 8′)

Where’s the exit then? Like, the hidden one that leads to the bathroom? Was it also concealed in case this room was discovered?

.................wait,

wait

WAIT

I NEED TO LOOK UP SOMEtHING -

BECAUSE I SWEAR

TSUMUGI SAID SHE WENT TO THE BATHROOM IN CHAPTER 1 WHEN WE WERE COLLECTING ALIBIS - or someone said she did? There was the whole group that went downstairs, Kaede and Shuichi in the classroom, and the ones left upstairs were Kokichi, Miu, Korekiyo, Tsumugi, and... Ryoma? K1-b0? Did Ryoma get invited down? He seems like he would’ve been an asset but okay now’s not the time to criticize Kaito’s ‘best fighters’ choices -

oh god where’s the screenshot I really didn’t document anything in the first chapter at all lmao -

I just - I just remember it being so weird at the time? Like a random tangent that went nowhere? She just said she went to the washroom, they followed up for like, five minutes, and then that was it - or... or something, right? Because she never went past Kaede and Shuichi? And then there were apologies passed around for accusing her, and I thought it was cute at the time, and I thought she was kinda cute, and Ryoma too, and oh god I miss them but I’m getting distracted -

OOOH MY GOD I ALWAYS THOUGhT THIS WAS WEIRD POInT BUt ULTIMATELY DISMISSED IT AS UNIMPORTANT WHEN THE GAME SEEMED TO MOVE COMPLETELY PAST IT

Enter through the bathroom.... run out and grab the handbook.... sneak back up while no one’s the wiser? What if Kaede’s plan had failed???? Then again, Tsumugi said she had the aura of a protagonist.... did she have that much faith in her to succeed? this is some twisted Kaemugi at work lmao

And omfg it wasn’t included on Rantaro’s map for the sole purpose of setting him up for some kind of ambush -

A mastermind who, honestly, was heavily hinted to be female with the initial ‘mother’ comments in Chapter 4 but has definitely been confirmed.

Also this game is really driving over how badly the mastermind screwed Rantaro over. what was it she said, backflip onto a landmine and die or something -

SWEETCHEEKS DID YOU REALIZE TOO???

Then again you didn’t have the benefit of being with me for the Chapter 1 fanservice scene... 8′D

GOOD.

T... thanks for confirming I suppose.

.... ew. Why can’t being busted stop you from talking, too.

Wait... really??? Why? Shouldn’t you and the mastermind have the same shared interests at heart?? Even if you’re at your end, shouldn’t you want to protect the identity of the mastermind - or at least keep on with this whole Kaede frame-job?

... But yeah, okay, I get it now - they’re trying to drive that phrase into my brain, and I think I understand why. I just, uh, wish there was another way about it, or that the wording could be a bit different, that’s all. 8′D

BUT WHY

OH NOW YOU’LL SHUT UP

oh ew it vomited like, motor oil or something. Eeeew.

>:|

Man K1-b0, even though I’m pretty sure it was Monotaro that caused the explosion, you really... really aren’t being careful with your classmates’ lives anymore, huh?

J-J... Just let her have this one, Shuichi. It’s okay to add a layer of fantasy as long as we can get the answer. 8′D

I’m so glad we have a little chance for sassy Sweetcheeks to rear his head.

I still want to get a visual on what the pathway looks like from the mastermind’s end but I guess just knowing it exists is enough. 8′D Ah well.

And then Shuichi says nothing LMAO SHUICHI SHE IS BEGGING YOU FOR SOME EXTERNAL VALIDATION

He.... he’s getting better, but man he’s still pretty obtuse when it comes to emotions. I’m glad that while he’s showing some improvements, he didn’t just transform all at once.

Anyway, after Shuichi and I try to leave and Himiko literally doesn’t move Shuichi realizes that there’s some emotional work he needs to do on the side of his detective work. Himiko still has to spell it out for him though. B-Baby steps, kid.

LITERALLY. HAS TO GUIDE HIM THROUGH HER VULNERABILITY. LIKE, HANDHOLDING HIM THE ENTIRE WAY.

.... Though this made me smile. Aaaaw, that’s pretty sweet. Just a thought, but I wonder if this is another case of him thinking everyone else is on the same page as him and projecting, the same way he does with his anxieties? ‘This is the clue that will change everything. And now that I know that, surely Himiko does too.’ It’s another example of him diminishing his own skill as a detective - “if I could do this, anyone can” - so naturally, he had already assumed Himiko understood this. Why would she be worried if she already knew the huge contribution she had just made, after all?

anyway small tangent ignore me

You’re the Ultimate Mage. :D

Sometimes I’m a little worried about indulging in her magic/escapism fantasies but then she smiles like this and I can’t help but think it’s worth it ~ she has been through so much, you know? She needs something familiar lol to lean on and as long as it’s not impending the investigation like it did in Chapter 2.... 8′D

Adrenaline is disappearing, huh? Well, keep that energy up - now we have to be nearly done, right? .... Right? What else could there possibly be?

“Shuichi come quick there’s something weird in Hotel Kumasutra -”

“NO. NO, I REFUSE!!!!”

“OH GOD COOTIES, THERE ARE DEFINITELY COOTIES EVERYWHERE -”

lmao Shuichi never change

#Ryou plays drv3 #Shuichi Saihara #Himiko Yumeno #drv3 spoilers #spoilers

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aharris00britney · 7 years ago

Photo

ASKS 08

rip it’s a lot of stuff, some good, some weird….

Anonymous said: do you like eating ass? I bet your booty is thicc and juicy :)

idk who would even send this but ummm I’m a bottom so yeah.. that answers that wedhfnsh have u nice day/night <3

@thesimpley2k said: your cc is so beautiful! and you’re a britney stan :) ily sis

thank youuuuu omg ily2 lmao I don’t voice my Britney stanness much but once B10 starts getting more hyped up I’ll be back up there! Thank you again and rip original make me MV

Anonymous said: Oof I need all of your wip hairs right now

oof you haven’t even seen half of them sweetie ;) I have 10 wip hairs as of now so like… you’ve seen 4 on this blog through edits/playlists. the rest are on my patreon and some go on my wips section in my discord (omg shameless plug im sorry but its true)

Anonymous said: Can we gift you packs through origin?

if u want?? idrk how that works tbh ;-; if u did tho like rsdfgfbvc thank you!!! I prob will only buy packs that I can use for cc from now on tbh ;-; my computer is at that point where i need to be really picky about stuff, plus imo they arent worth it wedfgdbfn i regret buying most of the SP’s

Anonymous said: Are you posting a shorter version of the Zoey Hair as shown in your latest post because it looks amazing?!!!!!

thank you!!! That is basically what the idea of it is lmao, but I think im gonna make an accessory hair clip for it too. Not 100% sure yet tho

@agentwashsims said: Crying over the wip hair and the grimes reference! Okay you’re still perfect and ily that it all okay bye.

aaah thank you! grimes is so good omg Art Angels is my favorite album but there are a lot of ongs on Visions I like as well. I like a little bit of Halfaxa toooooo

Anonymous said: Hi, would it be possible for you to just reupload the lydia hair post? As it’s marked as sensitive content, I can’t see the picture and I’d really like to be able to have a look at it before I download it.

Hi! I emailed tumblr support about it since it has been over a month since it has been up for review. Hopefully they get it worked out soon <3 there is a picture of it on my download page if you want to look at it there

Anonymous said: Hey, how do I do Patreon? I want to but i’m new to all those things of Patreon cause now I want lots of hairs that need it, and I wanna learn how can I Patreon you!

Hello! Hopefully you see this haha. Patreon is sort of like Netlfix in it is a monthly charge for goods. To get 3 cc hairs early each month, it is a $1 pledge. Higher pledges get better rewards(such as watching me work on cc, getting to vote on hair releases, and more). I think that Patreon is a great way to help support creators as long as they do it right (no exclusive CC). I really hope this helps you and thank you so much if you decide to pledge any ammount <3

Anonymous said: When are going to upload your maxis match hairlines? Like in a post

oml I am horrible lmao I deleted them and don’t seem to have them backed up, but I will maybe make more in the future?? I honestly don’t find them that usable on most hairs but everybody is different so we will see <3

Anonymous said: Is the black braided hair on your April Playlist a WIP? If not WCIF it cuz it’s gorgeous <333 Ily.

issa wip for Juneee

Anonymous said: how old are you?

18 d2f m4m

Anonymous said: What is your Origin ID?

spotharris

Anonymous said: Hey! I 🖤 ur content btw and I wanted to just like clarify something. Ur posts say u can recollect but don’t include the mesh. What does that mean exactly??? Do people still need the mesh for the recollections to show up in game?? Sorry if this is really dumb, I’m a new simblr. Thx!

hey!! sorry for the super late reply omg, welcome to simblr!! it is kinda crazy here but hopefully u can find ur peeps and make a nice home :) anywaysssss i think u mean recoloring, which is like when people add different colors other than the 18 EA base colors. I don’t allow people to use the meshes mainly bc I know that sometimes I have to go back and update things and this way the recolors don’t have a broken mesh and require that person to redo their package.

Anonymous said: whose ur fave member of lOoNa

my rankings as of right now: Kim Lip, Go Won, Olivia Hye, JinSoul, HyunJin, Chuu, HeeJin, Choerry, HeeJin, HaSeul, ViVi, and then YeoJin

also omfg if u have jinsoul/kim lip/choerry limited edition mix&match photocard and would like to gift me it then umm PLEASE they are impossible to find and i need for my collection ;-;

@disneynsims said: I am also a massive Britney Spears fan, and I have to say I appreciate you naming your hairs after her songs. I do make one small request, that a hair eventually be named after one of her best bonus tracks, “Up n’ Down”.

omg Up N’ Down is one of my least favorites on femme fatale grfbg but thank you!! I don’t really name hairs after her songs anymore :(

@issharky said: you’ve improved so much over the time! ive been following (on tsr and tumblr since i joined) since like 2016! ♥ still love your blog!

ygvhbjn i didnt have a tsr but go awf lmao thank you!!! i was a mess in 2016 and a lil of 2017 <3

Anonymous said: Ur such a babe austin

thx for sending this @dogsill ur a babe too 😘

Anonymous said: Discord? Patreon? And this are how a good simblr die

oof discord is literally like a groupchat thing but go off also patreon makes it so i release 3 hairs a month when before it was like 1 or 2 so ummm

Anonymous said: I have recently downloaded blender to make cc hairs, but I can’t zoom in, rotate, or do anything basically. Do you know of any tutorials that explain how to use it well/ in detail? (I have a windows laptop). Anyway, I recently discovered your hairs and I am in love!! Thank you for making so many beautiful pieces of cc!

urgg i really wish i could make video tutorials and stuff for blender and hairs :( I have tried about 3 or 4 times to record/stream and it is so laggy and just pure shit on stream and twitch. I kind of just learned stuff as i went in blender but a must have is a mouse of some kind, otherwise it is 10x harder

@alexschmidt629 said: Hey! I hope you’re doing a bit better than the last time you made your last post! I’m sorry to hear about all of that, being a senior is so difficult and college stuff is even more difficult. I hope you’re doing better!

thank you! I’m doing a bit better now :)

Anonymous said: holy shit it sounds like everything that literally could’ve gone wrong did. wishing u love and luck bb. and also i think its absolutely FINE that u put ur stuff up on patreon early, it’s still free in the end!! its just a choice to actually compensate cc creators for all that they do for us. god that person was just so rude and im kinda surprised at how kindly you took it. props to u xx

yeah dsgf everything kinda went shitty the past few months but hopefully it all turns itself around :) and I try not to pick at any rude anons/asks in general bc I feel like by doing that it just causes more attention on the issue and more people/trolls want to jump on the band wagon. Thank you!!

Anonymous said: Oh honey, you need prayers and I wish you the best of luck with fasts, college, moving, and the rest of your life. Stay strong hon you got this!!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

thank you <3

Anonymous said: hi is there a version off the Ella hair that has a bun in the back or am I crazy? probs crazy honestly, but thx for answering

I think you are thinking of my Maja hair? It has a different bottom but it has those same bangs! It is here

#asks #oml it was at 247 so im sorry if yours isnt in this

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astronomyparkers · 8 years ago

Text

The Upside of Falling Down {II}

Warnings: Language

Pairing: University!Peter Parker x reader

Word count: 3.1k

A/N: Guys!!!! Thank you so so much for the positive response to pt. one of TUoFD!!! I’m so so so glad you guys liked it!!! Just to let you guys know, I’m going back to university in a few days, so I won’t be as active as I’d like to be :( I made a full post about it here, so check that out if you want to know my update schedule and ask answering schedule. Also, shout out to everyone who is going back to school this year, and I especially want to send all my love to everyone going into their freshman year at university!!! I get lots of messages from you guys asking for advice, and I just want yall to know that I am so proud of you for continuing your education, and I’m rooting for you!!! You’re killing the game, yall. And I’m sure university!Peter would be proud, too (didn’t know there would be so much discourse around where I decided to send him for university??? lmao oh well). All my love.

{masterlist}

You had been in awkward car rides before. There was the time that eight year old you threw up all over your friend’s cute older brother on a family road trip, or the time when you had accompanied your cousin and his girlfriend on a lake trip where she said no when he asked her to marry him. Once, on a high school band trip, you accidentally gave a boy a boner the night before travelling home, and spent the rest of the next day avoiding him over the entirety of the bus and the plane rides with the help of your friends. All of those experiences were sufficiently awkward, but, you had come to learn, none of them compared to the bus ride back to Columbia after you discovered that your biology partner was Spider-Man.

Each of you were tense in your stance, not allowing any parts of your body to touch the other, even on the small faux leather seat. You kept your gaze glued to the scenery outside your window, watching as the trees by the side of the road flew by. You were hyper aware of Peter next to you as he sat with his arms crossed, eyes firmly staring at his planted feet. He hadn’t shifted since you had settled into your seats an hour and a half ago, and neither had you. In your mind, you couldn’t help but reply the event that had unfolded in the cave, your discovery, and what had followed.

The moment the words, “You’re the Spider-Man,” had left your lips, you knew that you had crossed a line in yours and Peter’s relationship (a relationship that should have been over by the end of that field trip. A relationship that shouldn’t even be big enough to have lines.) As the boy stared at you with a mix of shock, anger, and fear, you had wished, not for the first time in your life, that you weren’t so impulsive and curious. You had to know the answer to everything the moment you asked a question, and it had always gotten you into trouble; this, however, had been the first time that the need to know the answer had been at the cost of someone else’s safety.

“I knew this cave was a dumb idea,” Peter had started running his hands through his hair anxiously. “I knew this was going to end badly, I could sense it—”

“Is that your Spidey Sense?” You interrupted him before you could stop yourself. “I read an article on arachnids last year that mentioned how spiders can sense things with the little hairs on their bodies, through vibrations—” Peter had given you an incredulous look, and you bit your lip. “Right, sorry. Not the time to discuss arachnid abilities.”

“Y/N,” Peter grabbed your shoulders, gripping them tightly as he looked into your eyes. The fire raced again from where he touched you. “You can’t tell anyone. No one can know about this.”

You had taken a step back at that moment, out of Peter’s reach, as you tried to focus your thoughts. “No shit I can’t tell anyone! I shouldn’t even know! Parker, seriously, this just made our relationship so much more complicated than it should be.”

“Are you really blaming me for saving you from a fall to your death?” Peter asked in disbelief, crossing his arms.

“No, I—” You took a deep breath and closed your eyes, pinching the bridge of your nose. “No. Thank you for saving me. I’m sorry, but I don’t really know how to react in this situation, okay? There’s no WikiHow on what to do when you find out your biology partner is Spider-Man.”

“How do you think I feel?” Peter had laughed once without humour, raking his hand through his hair again (it seemed to be a nervous tic). “Only three people in the world outside of the Avengers know about my abilities, and they’re all people I would follow to hell and back.”

“Well, how did they react when you told them?” You questioned, wondering if there was a correct response that you weren’t seeing.

“I, um—” Peter looked at the ground sheepishly. “Well, Aunt May and Ned kind of…walked in on me in the suit. And MJ just…figured it out.”

“So you’ve never actually told anyone on purpose?” You scoffed. “Parker, for someone with such a huge secret to keep, I thought you’d be better at actually keeping it.”

“I—we shouldn’t even be talking about this,” Peter had glanced around the cavern, then at the passage behind him. “We need to go catch up to the class, but I need you to promise that you won’t breathe a word of this to anyone. Seriously, Y/N. Just…forget what happened in here, okay? Pretend you didn’t see anything, please.”

You sighed in defeat. “Fine, I promise. Lead the way out, Spider-Boy.”

Peter flinched, shaking his head. “Don’t call me that.”

By the time the bus pulled up to the school, he still hadn’t said a word to you, and the moment the vehicle had parked, he was out of his seat and heading towards the front of the bus. You stared at his retreating figure with a mix of curiosity and perplexity. Despite thinking about the events of the day the entire ride back to Columbia, you still had trouble wrapping your head around what had transpired.

You made your way off the bus and back to your dorm, shutting the door tightly behind you. Yesterday, Peter Parker had barely been a blip on your radar, but now you couldn’t get him off your mind. You knew that he wanted you to just forget about everything that had happened, but how could you? You were curious and inquisitive by nature, and had to know everything about everything. There was no way you would be able to make yourself forget about Peter’s secret, nor would you be able to stop yourself from trying to find out everything you could about how he got his abilities and what it was like as an Avenger.

You passed the rest of the day in your dorm, researching Spider-Man and watching clips on YouTube. You’d seen many of them before, but now that you knew who was underneath the mask, it was like a whole new perspective. Like you’d only ever seen the videos through muddy, streaky glass, and now you were watching them clearly for the first time.

Whenever Spider-Man was hit or seemed to be hurt, you felt your breath catching in your chest. It had never occurred to you that there was a real boy in there—a bit of an annoying boy, if you were being honest with yourself, but a real one nonetheless—and knowing the face underneath the mask made you so much more anxious.

For the rest of the weekend, you tried to put that anxiety behind you, and continue with your regular routine. You met with your study groups, you went for lunch with friends, you stayed up much later than you should have (with the help of three pots of coffee) to make study cards for an upcoming physics quiz—overall, a typical weekend in your life. Who cared if you were now a keeper of one of the biggest secrets of someone you barely knew? It was fine. Everything was fine.

Except, it wasn’t, because it seemed that while you were dedicated to keeping things as normal as possible, Peter had decided to become dedicated to watching your every move. You could tell he didn’t trust you with the knowledge of his powers from his body language on the bus ride back to campus, but your theory was confirmed that weekend. No matter what you were doing, or where you were, Peter seemed to show up. He was sitting in a corner with a book and a coffee cup when you met your friend Sadie for lunch at a café on campus. He was typing away on a laptop (and peering at you from over the top of the screen) while you and your study group compared notes in the library. On Sunday night, when you opened your door at 11:30 to pick up more creamer for your coffee, Peter was standing outside, trying to act like he hadn’t just been standing patrol outside your dorm room.

“Okay, Parker, this is getting weird now,” You rolled your eyes and shut your door quietly behind you, trying not to disturb the other students in your building. “When your stalking was happening in public places, I could ignore it, but camping outside my dorm room is a bit much, even for me.”

“I’m not stalking you,” Peter shook his head and crossed his arms, following you as you began to walk down the hall.

“Oh, sorry, does it have a fancy new name now?” You raised an eyebrow. “Like how people are saying they’re ‘alt-right’ instead of Nazis? What would you call this, non-consensual hanging out?”

“Surveillance.” Peter cut in front of you, stopping you in your tracks. “I need to make sure you’re not spilling my secret to anyone.”

“Listen, I’m not the Avenger here, so I don’t really know much about surveillance and secret keeping,” You shrugged your shoulders and flipped your key through your fingers over and over. “But I would think that surveillance is supposed to be more incognito than following me everywhere in plain sight. And a secret doesn’t stay a secret if you keep bringing it up.”

“Well, what am I supposed to do?” Peter replied angrily. “A virtual stranger now knows the most private thing in my life; excuse me for being anxious about it.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” You questioned, crossing your arms. “That always helps when I’m anxious about stuff. I’m down for talking about it, if you want.”

“I feel like that’s not a good idea,” Peter shook his head, causing you to sigh in return.

“Parker, come on, I already know your big secret,” You rubbed a tired hand across your eye. “What else could possibly come out from talking that could be more dangerous for me to know?”

Peter didn’t respond. You uncrossed your arms and held out the key card to your room. The boy stared at the card uncomprehendingly until you spoke.

“Here, I’m room 29B, although it seems you already knew that.” You held out the key card until Peter took it, looking back up at you with confusion still in his eyes.

“What—?”

“I have to go get more coffee creamer, and the convenience store is only open for another—” You pulled out your phone to check the time. “Twenty-seven minutes. I’ll be back in about ten, so just…make yourself at home. I’d say don’t go snooping, but…I feel like I don’t have a right to say that? If you did, at least it would make us even. Sort of.”

“Oh, yeah, because going through your panty drawer to find your diary is totally the same as knowing I’m a superhero.” Peter nodded his head sarcastically.

“Actually, my diary is underneath my mattress,” You began walking away, throwing a smirk over your shoulder as you left for the convenience store. “It’s my vibrator that’s in my panty drawer.”

The convenience store employee’s name was Isaac, who was a fellow student. He obviously seemed to be having a rough night, as he was slumped over the counter nursing a cup of coffee the size of your face. You greeted him as you entered the store, heading to the refrigerated section.

“Hey, Y/N,” Isaac yawned as he scanned the plastic container you set on the counter. “Ooh, caramel flavour. Splurging tonight, aren’t we?”

“What can I say; I live a life of luxury,” You smile wryly as you hand over a few dollar bills. “Keep the change.”

“Thanks, big spender,” Isaac took a sip of his drink. “See you in Calc on Tuesday?”

“Wouldn’t miss it.” You picked up your creamer and waved goodbye, exiting the store.

You made your way back to your dorm room as fast as you could, pulling your hoodie tighter around you in the chilly night air. When you reached your door, you raised a hand to knock, but paused upon hearing Peter talking inside the room. Intrigued, you pressed an ear to the door, trying to stay as silent as possible.

“No, I haven’t told Mr. Stark yet,” Peter’s muffled voice seemed irritated. “Why? Ned, are you crazy? Because he can’t know that some random girl knows about me!”

There was a pause, and you assumed the person on the other end of the phone call (Ned—that was one of the people that knew Peter’s secret identity) answered back.

“I just—I just have to make sure she won’t tell anyone,” Peter sighed, and you could hear him pacing slowly. “I’m kind of freaked out, man; I don’t even know her. It would be different if it was Liz or someone I was friends with. When MJ found out, at least I knew that—hey, don’t tell her about this, okay? I’ll never hear the end of—you already told her?” Peter groaned. “Oh, come on, Ned, whose side are you on?” Another pause. “I don’t blame you, man. If I had to choose sides, I’d pick MJ, too.”

Deciding you had heard enough, you raised your hand to the door and knocked quietly a few times. Inside, you heard Peter’s pacing stop.

“She’s back, I have to go,” Peter whispered, but you could still make out his words. “I’ll talk to you later. Good luck on your coding test.”

A moment later, the door opened up to reveal Peter, curls a mess as he stood back to let you in. You entered the room, surveying your home to see if anything had been touched or moved. Everything looked to be in place…except for your diary, which was laying on top of your bed and opened to the middle of the book.

“Find anything interesting?” You asked, making your way to your coffee maker. You began filling a coffee filter with grounds before starting the machine up and turning back around to face the boy. Your diary was more of a venting space where you kept track of classes, exams, dreams, and events of the day. You didn’t expect Peter to find any deep, dark secrets.

“Not really,” Peter shrugged, not bothering to pretend he hadn’t sorted through your personal items. “Except for the fact that you have really weird dreams. What’s up with that one about the cat and—”

“I read a lot of books with talking animals as a kid,” You interrupted, crossing your arms as your coffee maker beeped from behind you. “Coffee?”

“Sure,” Peter sighed, running a hand through his hair (seriously, this kid was going to make himself bald before he was thirty if he kept doing that). “Cream and sugar, please.”

You made a cup for Peter and a cup for yourself, making sure to be very liberal with the cream and sugar (you actually didn’t like coffee that much, but it kept you awake). You handed a mug to Peter and sat down on your desk chair, surveying the boy.

“So,” You blew on your coffee before taking a small sip. “Tell me about your friends.”

“What?” Peter’s brow furrowed as he took a sip of the drink you handed to him.

“Look, I was happy to never be more than casual classmate acquaintances with you,” You rested your head on your propped up hand. “But then all this spider bullshit happened, and you decided to stalk me—”

“Surveillance.”

“—so it’s obvious that we are now in each other’s lives.” You finished, glaring at Peter when he interrupted you. “I’m worried about you in the suit, you’re worried about me telling people about you in the suit…we have to coexist somehow. As annoying as it may be. So tell me about your friends.”

“But why—?”

“Because knowing practically nothing about you makes this a lot weirder than it already is!” You snapped, setting your mug down on your desk. “Do you know what you’re supposed to know about acquaintances? Their name and, like, where they’re from. That’s pretty much it. Do you know what I know about you? Your name, where you’re from, and the fact that you’re fucking Spider-Man!”

“Keep your voice down,” Peter hissed, glancing around the room. “Dorm walls are fucking thin!”

“Like. Full disclosure? This entire thing is freaking me the fuck out and I’m trying to stay calm, but it’s still weird. So, Parker, for the last time,” You inhale deeply and breathe out slowly. “Tell me about your friends.”

Peter sighed, took another sip of his coffee, and began to talk. He told you about his best friend, Ned, who was in California majoring in computer science at Stanford, and his other best friend, Michelle (“But we all call her MJ.”), who was a political science major at Princeton (“Didn’t Michelle Obama go to Princeton?” “Why do you think MJ picked it?”). He spoke about his aunt, who had raised him all his life (you didn’t want to ask about his parents; you had a feeling it was a touchy subject.), and a little about the Avengers. But just barely.

“Mr. Stark is kind of—” Peter cut off his sentence abruptly, glancing back up at you. “Um. I don’t think I should talk about that.”

“Whatever, Parker,” You twisted your hair into a bun and tied an elastic around it. “You should probably get going, anyways. It’s late.”

Peter nodded and stood up from his seat on your bed, setting his mug down on your desk.

“So,” He began as he walked to the door. “I’ll save you a seat in class tomorrow?”

“Why?” Your eyebrows furrowed as Peter opened the door. “We’ve been sitting apart for the entire semester so far.”

“No matter how many cups of coffee you make me, or how many diary entrees I read,” Peter paused in the doorframe. “I don’t know if I’ll ever really trust you. No offence, Y/N—”

“Some taken?”

“But I still need to keep an eye on you.” Peter walked through the door and set a hand on the doorknob. “So I’ll save you a seat in class tomorrow. Sleep tight. And don’t let the bed bugs bite.”

You watched in disbelief as the door closed in your face, and Peter Parker was gone.

{part iii}

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wanna1things · 7 years ago

Text

Prince!Ren AU

this was such a GOOD look for ren please bring this back amen thank u

Genre;; royal!au ++prince!au fluff uhhhh aka my fave

Warnings;; none,, i mean not that i know of??? It’s pure fluff?? maybe a tiny bit angsty idk but if u dont like boys who can’t cook dont read??

Pairing;; Choi Minki/Ren x reader

Requested;; yes (by anon)

Summary;; Ren is a prince who has moved to your country to study to be a King, and he happens to be your neighbour. Things don’t go too smoothly when you find out his identity...

Style;; bullet point + stuff

Word Count; 2530

AHHH i love royal aus so expect this to be;; long and detailed;; because i also stan minki,,, and he is already a prince,, coming up with a plot for this wasnt hard lmfaoooo;; i got my big ass 2litre bottle of water ready its 1am and its WRITING TIME

Ren was born into the royal family of a small country in East Asia

He was originally second in line until his brother Minseok gave up his right to the throne so he achieve his dream (that didn't involve being king lmao;;)

So little 8 year-old Minki is now thrust into the spotlight

Up until this point he’s had like;; no training on how to be a King

So he decides when he gets to his twenties he’ll go abroad to study politics and languages and stuff

So he can still be a good king when the time comes;;

But he doesn’t want to be treated like a prince wherever he goes so,, he instead decided to go by his real name rather than his royal name when he’s abroad (which less people know)

(okay it is a thing like prince harry’s name is actually henry FUN FACT)

But he’s super talented like;; he has a way with words and he’s really popular in his country

Because not only is he really beautiful but he’s also amazingly funny with a great personality

Like I mean it when I say he could probably make friends with a brick wall

He’s a little;; weird;; but it just makes him even more loveable sdjhfgjsd

He’s honestly treasured by his country because he just seems like a normal human he doesn’t try to act better than anyone else uh BLESS how kIND

ANYWAY

So the time comes for him to go;; and he chooses on going to your country!! (and your university what a coincidence am i right)

Now you’re just a lowly university student living in a block of flats not far from the campus

And it’s a nice block of flats but you’re on the 8th floor and the lift doesn’t work;; yikes

I mean at least you’re not on the 10th floor right??

So when you see someone moving into the flat next to your with boxes and boxes of stuff you are overcome with pity like;;; yeah you did that once before too

And you muster up the courage to go and help out this guy who is reALLY struggling with his suitcases

He nods a thank you as you pick up one of the suitcases and carry it up the last flight of stairs,, too tired to even speak (i feel u bro)

When you both reach the top he points out which room to take his bags to and guess what

He’s your new neighbour! (yay)

You help him put all the bags in his room and after about 3 minutes of trying to get all his breath back he manages to whisper a ‘thank you’ and offers you some tea

Obviously you take him up on the offer I mean you’re a uni student free sustenance is v good

BUT you have to go back to your room because;; well;; a welcome gift??

All you have in your room that's suitable are like candles and stuff but… don’t get me wrong but this guy doesn’t seem like the biggest fan of candles especially after walking up 8 flights of stairs

So you decide on giving him some of your sweet potatoes and a cute little keyring that your friend gave you that you’ve never used

It’s a little rabbit with a tiara on how ;; cute ;;

When you return to his apartment suddenly the shaggy looking guy who you helped carry his stuff up the stairs is now;; this beautiful man;;

Hes mid-way through making the tea when he notices you’ve returned

And he looks up and flashes you the cutest lil eye smile lol

Oh my god are they the same people even

He finishes making the tea and walks over to shake your hand

‘It's a pleasure to meet you!! I’m Choi Minki~’ he smiles, taking your hand in his

Shfsdhfjgshdjfh his hands are soft what (listen my fave hc is that minki has super super soft hands @ me on this gn)

‘Ahhh hi yes,, i’m y/n and i’m your neighbour!! I got you a present’

His face lights up when he sees the present sdfhdjhf

‘How did you know i love bunnies??’

You both sit down on the sofa in the middle of his flat surrounded by boxes

Drinking your tea and talking about life

You discover he’s attending the same university as you;; studying politics and modern languages

He’s like;; super smart but he doesn’t show it off at all??

But there’s something about his face that seems really familiar

Like as though you’ve seen him before but you don’t know where

So you just assume he reminds you of an old friend or something

As time passes you get really close

You walk with each other everyday to campus and back, you tell each other absolutely everything and you even cook for one another on alternate nights

One night when it was Minki’s turn to cook he was making some food from his home country;; cold spicy noodles (i love those pls omg)

And ahh he is not at all good at cooking but he tries hard so;; let’s let him off yeah

But he concentrates so hard but he genuinely just;; burns everything like idek how he does it don’t let minki cook;;

In the end he just;; gives up so you cook together!!

And as you’re quickly making a batch of pancakes together he decides yeah good time for a food fight

Proceeds to chuck flour all over you

And as he’s laughing at your pain you realise wow okay yeah his laugh is cute oh nOOOO you got a crush on your weird neighbour????

Obviously you ;; don’t make this known and eat your damn pancakes in peace

After chucking flour right back at Minki of course

Over the next few days he just suddenly stops coming into uni because;; he’s in a couple classes with you let’s just say you’re a politics student lol

You try knocking on his apartment door a couple times and nobody replies even when you call his name

You basically put 2 and 2 together

And make 5

And assume that he’s deliberately avoiding you because he realised your crush

In reality there’s been a minor problem in his country;; a law is being passed through government that’s quite controversial to do with like;; minority rights and stuff;; so he’s had to return to fight to get it passed and he didn’t really want to leave without saying anything but;; he also didn’t want to reveal who he was to the whole world

It’s a constitutional monarchy and democracy thing okay pls; i can’t explain political systems;

One night about a week after Minki’s sudden disappearance

You decide to turn on your tv because damn life is boring when you can’t go to Minki’s house and play snap lol

And on the news they’re talking about minki’s country bless where the spicy noodles come from

But the news report tells the story of this brave prince who is attempting to pass a law to protect the rights of the people of his country and wow this prince is a nice guy

And they show a clip of a press conference he held earlier on in the day

And

Wow

Okay

That prince looks suspiciously like your neighbour Minki???

Wait

THAT IS MINKI??!!

Minki = Prince Ren what the ??

Not long after this the law is passed and Minki returns back to his apartment next to yours and oh my god

You see him walking up to the entrance and you freak out again because

You have a crush on a prince???

He didn’t even tell you he was a prince???

What??? Is???? Going????? On??????

He comes and knocks on your door like usual and as you swing open the door he quickly pulls you into a hug

‘y/n!!! I missed you so much!!! I’m sorry for disappearing i had family stuff but I’m back now!!!’

And you just tense up a little because oh god this is a prince who basically lied to you for your friendship so far

‘Hello, Ren.’

Uh oh

You can feel Minki just tense up slightly and pull away from the tight hug

And he kind of just stands there awkwardly looking at the floor wondering what to say next because oh my god how did you find out

‘Y/n, please don’t treat me differently now you know who I am… I wanted to tell you I really did… How did you even find out?’

He looks into your eyes like he’s searching for something because uh oh the girl he’s liked for a while and the only girl who treats him like a normal human being is reallllllly pissed off with him and he,, doesn’t have any idea how to fix it

‘You were on the news, Minki. How long were you going to keep it from me? Were you even planning to tell me at all?’

‘Listen, I was going to but there was never a good time and honestly, I thought you wouldn’t want to be friends with a Prince?’

You just sigh heavily at his answer and go to slam the door in his face but he stops it with his foot and holds on to your wrist tightly

‘Please, y/n, can we talk properly?? I’ll make food.’

You take your hand off the door and stand back to let him into your flat and he immediately heads to the kitchen and pulls out a ramen packet

He starts to cook it all while you sit at the kitchen counter, watching him as he tries desperately to not burn everything sdjhfgsjdgh poor minki

He manages to,, kind of make it (well done minki)

And he places the bowl in front of you and sits down next to you in complete silence like ok this is getting a little awkward

So perk up the mood he just managed to cook without burning the whole block of apartments down

‘So, the prince can cook ramen but nothing else hm?’

He giggles slightly at your comment and nods

‘Yeah my parents always tease me about it too, especially since my brother is amazing at cooking’

He laughs again and picks up his chopsticks to shove in a whole load of ramen

So you finally turn to look at him and you notice his eyes are red and oh my god you made him cry??

Part of you is like yeah but listen he deserves it he lied to you for like 6 months

But then again;; it is understandable that he wouldn’t want everyone knowing he’s a prince

And it doessssss make you feel a little special that he didn’t want your relationship to change at all

You do what your heart tells you to do

And you pat his head and ruffle his hair a little

He looks comPLETELY BAFFLED LIKE,,, WHERE DID THIS COME FROM

But he smiles really wide and giggles again

‘Is this how you show your forgiveness?’

‘No way Minki, I want at least 5 more meals cooked by you before I can get over this’

And omg

He doesn’t get that you’re joking at first

And you just see this look of absolute terror go across his face like

Ohhhh no if he even tries to cook another meal the whole building is going up in flames like

Ramen was hard enough he had to keep checking the packaging every 5 seconds to make sure he was doing it right

Then he realises you’re joking

And he laughs because oh my god

What kind of gullible-

Sooo as time passes from here you get even closer

Some people suspect his identity but you vouch for him and say that ahh no he’s no prince lol i know he’s beautiful but nooo you’re mistaken

And minki is sooo thankful for you and you both just fall in love with each other even more compLETELY OBLIVIOUS TO EACH OTHER’S FEELINGS (idiots)

That is until one evening Minki announces out of the blue that he’s going back to his country

And he wants you to come with him

And you’re leaving tomorrow

He leaves you with a ‘pack quickly~~’

Like wow thanks for the suddenness of this i hAVE TO PACK EVERYTHING IN LIKE 3 HOURS

But you manage;; somehow

And you get on the flight and Minki is so damn nervous for some reason

Like is he scared of flying??

What??

So you hold his hand during the take off and landing just in case lol

Minki would never admit it but that made his heart race even more

As soon as you land he takes you straight to the palace and walks you into this big ballroom and asks the servants to call for his parents

And you just assume like ok yeah

He’s just introducing me to them as his friend from abroad thats cool

But when they turn up Minki suddenly stands up all stiff and proper which is like

Woah okay

And he kneels down before his mum and dad and starts to say something which is almost inaudible

‘Mother, Father, I have brought before you today the person I told you about, the one I am in love with. I intend to marry this person once the time is right but I thought you should meet them in person first. I am very sorry for rejecting the many royals you previously brought before me, but it is because of them that I felt I had to turn them down.’

Yo yo

Hold up a second

Minki??? Told his parents about you??

He is in love with you too okay what???

He turned down other royals because he liked you?? Okay wow

Shooketh

‘Please, let me introduce the light of my life, y/n’

Woah okay

You step forward to stand next to minki and oh my god his face is like a bright red it’s so cute

‘Your Majesties, it is a pleasure to meet you.’

You bow, curtsey whatever idk I’m not a royal person idk how this works

They smile and just say

‘Ahh, Minki you didn’t have to go to so much trouble!! We would’ve accepted pretty much anyone as long as you were happy!!’

And this look of relief washes over his face and he turns to you and grabs your hand, dragging you out of the room

You reach the palace gardens and you’re surrounded by cherry blossoms and roses

And he doesn’t let go of your hand but instead brings it to his lips and kisses it gently

‘I should’ve confessed to you first but I wanted to get this out of the way… In case you didn’t catch that, I am in love with you, y/n’

Ahhhhhhhhh

Heartbeat rises

‘You could’ve at least given me a hint! I almost had a heart attack!! But… yeah… uh… me too’

He giggles lightly and leans in to press his lips against yours

It’s a little cheesy but

It’s Minki what do you expect

And you couldn’t ask for anything better

DHSGJFHGSJDH I CANT DO A PROPER ENDING BECAUSE I’LL START BLUSHING SORRY;; i hope this is good lol ++ that yall enjoy it but it’s like time to sleep now here so goodnight!! other requests will be posted as soon as possible but i’m a little busy still so;;

#nu'est #nuest imagine #nu'est imagines #nuest #nu'est w #ren #choi minki #minki #nuest ren #nu'est ren #produce 101 imagines #produce 101 imagine #p101 imagines #au #royal au #prince au

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