#i still dont know why they had to say those things
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Hello!! I just had the sudden urge to rewrite Side Order, and i dont know if it was from you but i once saw a post about an antagonistic Marina being an interesting concept... but I do know you like Marina a fair bit so I was wondering, what would be a good way to go about it?
And I mean an ACTUAL antagonist Marina. Not Order controlling her one way or another.
I would also like to try doing something with Side Order's creepy vibe we got from the trailer...
"Like Marina a fair bit." Oh buddy, oh friend, it's more that just a fair bit....
I was actually gonna make a post about something similar like this, but since you brought it up, I'll just go ahead and explain some of my ideas.
It has been hinted at and shown to us that Marina has a strong urge to maintain order and keep the newfound happiness she now has in her life.
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So what if this desire.... corrupts her? What if she becomes so stressed out and anxious that she descends into being an antagonist hellbent on making the perfect world? All born by her troubled upbringing in the Octarian domes and trying to make sure her life remains happy and safe. And for her Pearlie to be safe.
The dev diaries as well as Pearl's dialogue at the beginning of Side Order tell us that Marina after the Final Fest has been under a lot of stress due to balancing so many things and is suffering burnout.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/55044faf15ec8cd1367372cb631fde9e/cc05ea4a761bea27-00/s540x810/18f8594aca575046491dd3eeed74f496a982d1e4.jpg)
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Also Pearl and Marina do fight over music and this could have added to Marina's stress as well.
I think going about rewriting Marina Agitando is by showing Marina's stresses more clearly so that people can pick up on her motivation more. Also changing Marina Agitando to where Marina puts on the Controller VM willingly and instead of Order just possessing her body like a ghost, instead it allows Marina to communicate with Order and oversee the memverse as a whole. However because of Order's programming, they are more of a manipulative force, whispering and guiding Marina to what they want due to their goal of wanting a world under total order and "happiness." No stupid fucking "brainwashing" or "mind control" bullshit here. We doing something different. Order is just giving Marina a little push in a certain direction and Marina is going along with it because she's under a ton of stress and wants her life to be safe and happy, no matter the cost or how anyone else feels....
The developers did say in an interview that they wanted to tell a story about Marina getting lost in a machine of her own making and sadly Side Order doesn't really explore it all too well due to the short appearance of Marina Agitando.
All you gotta do to fix it is extend her runtime!! Make Marina Agitando a tutorial boss, but instead of you getting her out of there, you fail to reason to Marina and she kicks you out of the spire and it grows in size. And then you gotta go back up 30 floors while learning about why Marina is doing what she is doing and eventually learning about the ai Order. The final boss could be Marina Agitando and Pearl trying to reason with her and eventually break through Marina's anxieties and doubts. Marina breaks out of the Controller VM and Order turns into Overlorder and becomes the true antagonist in the end, feeling betrayed and hurt by their creator abandoning them.
Anyways. Those were my ideas. Much like Callie i do care a lot about Marina and thankfully Marina Agitando doesn't piss me off as much as what they did to Callie in Splatoon 2. But there's still a LOT of missed potential with an antagonistic Marina.
So yeah. Hopefully that helped your rewrite in some way. Hopefully.
#splatoon#splatoon 3#marina ida#marina splatoon#marina agitando#ask blog#ask me stuff#ask me anything#ask#side order#pearl houzuki#pearl splatoon#rambles#ramblings#ideas#overlorder#smollusk#callie cuttlefish#callie splatoon#rewrite
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If I had a chocolate bar for every time the female lead in a K-drama written by Park Hye-run says potentially hurtful things to the male lead to protect them, I would have two chocolate bars. It's not a lot but it is weird that it's happened twice.
#i still dont know why they had to say those things#both male leads had the same sad facial expression ??? crying#castaway diva#tvn start up#start up#park eun bin#seo mok ha#jung ki ho#chae jong hyeop#bae suzy#seo dal-mi#nam joo hyuk#netflix kdrama#kdramas#kdrama#nam do san#korean drama#kdramadaily#park hye-run
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🍀
I know that Clover's gender is up to interpretation (the devs DID say so themselves) but I still feel weird when people make them exclusively male or female LOL Like it's TECHNICALLY fine??? but it leaves a bad taste in my mouth.
more in tags as usual because I am a yapper. i am so sorry for having strong opinions about gender and representation. i am usually more fun than this 🥲🥲🥲🥲
#whenever ppl talk about clover being male it feels like they are unconsciously reinforcing gender roles???#vague sexist vibes yknow#this is such an innocent thing to complain about but i dont care!! i am a HATER!!!!!!#I think it bothers me so much because it reminds me of how Kris was treated and is STILL being treated. “well in my headcanon he is a boy”#again its technically fine!!! the devs said its cool and i wont hate anyone for it. but its still so weird yknow#especially cus most ppl reason them to be a boy because “well he likes guns and thats a boy thing!!!!!!”#“his design looks like a boy but his animations are like a girl”#“he is a cowBOY and he looks masculine so-” shut up i will stick your head down a toilet#many people think its an obvious fact that they are male.#whenever the cast calls Clover by he or a boy in fan content I can feel my entire face shrivel up#“THEY WOULD NOT FUCKING SAY THAT!!!” aka the curse that keeps me from enjoying anything thats just made for fun#i think its a case of self-insertiritis... even though clover is their own separate person as is UTDR's tradition#bonus points if they make them a boy so they can ship them with kanako without being gay 🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨#🤨🤨🤨🤨bonus points if they make them female so they can ship them with flowey without being gay 🤨🤨🤨🤨#female clover is actually rare and not nearly as problematic. i can tolerate female clover because luckypatch is such a rare ship anyhow#this does not even mention the weird ships with martlet and ceroba. yeah its the monster girls only. and in those theyre also a boy#never starlo or dalv which thank god but. guess why. go figure#ive had people headcanon martlet knowing clover as a kid and dating them later? i do not need to explain why thats grooming LOL#the undertale yellow fandom on reddit. is so bad. god. do not go there#i know its filled to the brim with teens who have the media literacy skills of a wet piece of paper and their minds in the gutters 24/7 but#cmon.#the things they have done to ceroba and martlet. the curse of being women. girlypops i am SO sorry you do not deserve it#undertale#undertale yellow#uty#clover#ceroba#martlet
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(Realizes that the most common transman experiences perfectly align with my life and feelings about myself and fascinations and who I want to be with) Ohhhh Okay i am fucked
#I do really wish i could just snap my fingers and pilot a cisman's body around#Rather than go through the crucible of visibly transitioning. it seems like a waste to do it when the times are so awful.#I honestly still doubt myself so much but#I can only do so many years of Why are you perceiving me as a woman#Before the shit starts getting real#People really just dont take you fucking seriously. Like even at this point where im at now i still dont know if im quote unquote valid#Because maybe its just a feminist issue and the misogyny is rampant#But an emotional sensitive defensive anxious reactive woman is what i am seen as. Somehow.#When I have gone lengths to ensure that even those close to me do not see a hint of my unchained emotional reality. Just really beats it in#I am entirely logical when I describe my experiences to my family. Clinical and detatched and intentional. And they think i am to be coddle#All the fucking time. Exhausting. I don't want that. I want to come to mutual understanding. Not to beg for emotional attention.#Thats the only thing that ever visibly cracks me. Being horribly misunderstood and taken out of context. Logical self defense being denied.#And being full of estrogen just reinforces that shit. Im a frustration crier. If I had testosterone maybe it wouldnt prove people right.#When you bite back as a woman you are just a bitch.#My fear is that I will be an emotional transgender man that wants to be coddled. I am afraid it will be worse to be that.#I really do just want to be able to live and work and be taken seriously when I say what I mean and what my mind is like.#I want a chance at life. I feel like I'm seen as a hapless girl. Damaged and begging to be freed of all responsibility#No bitch I want to move out and actively build a life for myself and RAISE MYSELF! after years of being misunderstood and alone#And also i want to do homosexual war reenactments with another man or something i dont know i just wish it could be me#Maybe ill just donate blood and faint again#Anyway. Joker. Society. I am the joker#Who wanna reply and tell me if im a valid transman or not. I get chest dysphoria when i have proper posture.#I get ass and hip dysphoria.#Low key having a bangin body as a woman though confuses me still bc maybe i just like being hot more than i gaf about transitioning#It reeeeeally helps that my face has an impeccable T zone. Its kind of masc as hell.
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at least if she does go through with it i can just go to seymour and no-one will know. what're they gonna do about it
#xoxo.monty#trying to look on the bright side#mostly failing#i feel. miserable#teenagers famously love it when you cut off their only communication with friends both irl and online for several weeks#and force them to only talk to their family#ik im probably being dramatic and stupid its just that most of my projects etc rely on being able to look things up or use websites#i guess i could go to the library and use their computers actually#so it wouldnt be . too bad. still definitely not GOOD#but i wouldnt be completely cut off#d'accord maybe i would be fine#like its only half an hours bike ride#oh wait the library is closed for a week#okay i changed my mind again definitely would not be fine#also what if its hot#EXCEPTING those two things i could prolly ride to the library every day#which sounds stupid but im worried that if i miss another meetup(????) with my friends theyre gonna think i hate them or that im a bitch#also like. i want to see them? well. mostly#bc the first time i was invited out i had JUST had dental surgery so i. could not go.#nd the second time i was still feeling bad (from the surgery) so i didnt go but that time i lied about why#bc i thought she might not believe me#and im scared that if i dont reply to another invite#they'll just stop inviting me#hell im scared thats already happened and i just dont know#i do have more to say but i have rambled for long enough lmaoo so i'll leave it at that
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i am actually so tired of the way westerners treat eastern europeans
#fair warning for. a very very long ramble and rant in the tags. apologies#westerner or russian. no other option#westerner because the only thought they ever have is 'but they had universal housing so if you oppose ussr you oppose that'#(which is stupid becuse you can believe in that WITHOUT WANTING LIKE 6 COUNTRIES TO BE FORCED TO BE RULED OVER BY RUSSIA)#(SORRY FOR WANTING TO LIVE IN MY COUNTRY WITH MY HISTORY AND MY CULTURE AND NOT RUSSIA!!) (poland was a sattelite state but GOD)#or russian because they have a victim complex and are convinced that they deserve to rule over the entire damn world#'well you had universal housing so you had it easy' right yeah. okay. forget about like. everything else that happened#to eastern europeans during that time#forget about the things that are STILL issues all these years later not only in poland but like the more eastern countries too#its not about. the fact that the houses 'didnt have 3 bedrooms and a jacuzzi' in them. you DUMB SACK OF SHIT#god sorry. sorry. i also know so very little but like god damn i fucking live here. i didnt sit thru all that modern history#for some dumbfuck to say that 'ohhh only rich and american middle class people are happy the ussr was dissolved'#'oooh the dissolving of the ussr was illegal and the countries within it actually liked being there'#im just so fucking tired man i need to. i need to start killing people#and this is all not to mention that theyll say this stupid shit and then deny eastern europeans the things they actually did that were good#FUCK french people for trying to claim maria skłodowska. fuck americans for trying to claim the witcher as their own fantasy world#fuck the way the west is allowed to claim and destroy eastern european culture without any consequence because we dont matter enough#vaguely related but ill throw this in here since anyone finding it is unlikely and im scared of having this opinion#i think one underappreciated aspect of DE (which might be underappreciated because its not actually there and im stupid)#is that its pro-communist while still also giving some criticism to how it was handled and acknowledging that its still not perfect#which makes the writers much better communists than any self-proclaimed one ive ever met in my life who just worships the idea#perhaps its because the writers of the game were not white upper middle-class americans living in the suburbs. among other things#idk de is a game for people far smarter than me and i only played it once and im sure anyone who played it well can clock me as a bad perso#horrible horrible person even which is why im scared of mentioning it. but its an interesting thing. to me#the main thing is that im just not. im not far left enough i suppose. i agree communism in theory is a great idea. as far as i know it#(which isnt very far)#but chances of implementing it correctly in a way that doesnt take away from peoples happiness in other areas is. low. very low#i wrote a short essay about how utopias are inherently contradictory ideas once it wasnt very deep or good but like#you cant have universal happiness without restricting certain freedoms. and when those freedoms are resticted not everyone#will be happy. and then theyre unhappy they will have to be somehow removed or ignored
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My partner finally finished BG3 but has no idea that his ending was actually bad cause he was a pro-Vlaakith githyanki who rode off with Lae'zel but got NO EPILOGUE where Withers points out y'all died im 😭😭😭
they have no idea what happened with Gale or anyone else (who was still alive) after flying away 🙃🙃🙃
#i cant even tell him cause hes gonna play again more “normally”#its so tragic he would like skip dialogue and just fight to get the jump on boss battles instead of waiting for the cutscenes to start#and he didn't exhaust dialogue trees!! like... how... why...#and also he staked Astarion 😭 and p much never reloaded#and didn't clear the shadow curse so no Halsin#also everyone at Last Light Inn died so Dammon was gone and Karlach only got 2 upgrades#and he didnt know moonrise towers was basically a second town#and his game was buggy a lot maybe? cause he kept trying to be hella creative with things and do things out of order#like killing gortash before doing steel watch 🙃#it's fine it's fine everyone plays differently#he tends to care more about gameplay than anything else but still!!#i just want him to know all the character backstories and see everything that made me emotional#i mean he did say he was sad when Lae'zel broke up with him in act 3 and when Karlach died and when he had Gale use the orb in act 2#which he considered his canon ending :/ sigh#i dont think he got Jaheira's lines about death#and he didnt understand why Karlach wouldn't go back to the hells#and he thought Wyll was happy being the duke (and has NO idea you could save his dad cause the mission didn't happen!! 😭)#the iron throne was like my fave mission outside of killing Cazador and I can't discuss either one cause he didn't do them properly yet 😭😭#he also avoided talking to children so he missed those quests and yenna glitched so no cat appeared in camp 🙃#sighhhhh cannot believe he plays so differently than i do lollll#he didn't even do unlimited kisses with Lae'zel!! meanwhile im over here kissing Astarion every night hahahah#hoping my partner doesn't see IRL if I have the office door open as if it matters lmfaooooo#i need him to play again and see why im in love with a video game character lol#maybe we could both um... benefit from knowing more about all of Astarion's scenes lmao#but like he has NOT SEEN Astarion's silly or sweet side yet just him being a bit of a chaotic vampire#and thinks i like him cause of vampires WRONG!! play the game again and see that i love his silly & sweet real self!#bg3 spoilers#baldur's gate 3 spoilers#bg3#baldur's gate 3
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i like overthink everything now it makes me feel so dumb. i used 2 be able to just talk 2 ppl but nowadays every single thing im like Is that actually going to make them hate me. Yes probably. and then i just dont respond which makes ppl hate me. this is how it is
#ive been overthinking 1 light and casual mildly funny response to something but im worried itll come off as disrespectful and dismissive And#make me seem stupid and uncaring all at the same time. and also be seen as insulting. but like idt itd be insulting right like. im not#saying what it is so ig for all you guys know im like I mean if i say All your shit suck ball and i hateit kys. <- thats not the thing i was#going to say#like it doesnt matter now the window for response is closed now but i feel stupid bc i shouldve just said it it was light and casual. im so#bad at keeping convos gojng im convinced im not going to survive. In like a light and casual way like in a He will not make it through the#winter joke way. dw. im not going to do anything bc i had One failed interaction. if i was going to do anythjng itd be bc of the 8000000#other failed interactions. But im not. anyways. it just makes me feel so useless 😭 like i want to respond i want to talk to ppl so bad but#i feel like i mess things up Irreparably every time i speak OR i take too LONG overthinking my response and then i just cant respond bc its#been too long and then its been 3 years and the only messages ive ever sent r my intro message and 1 message 2 years ago that nobody#responded to at all. or the conversation stopped immediately after. and like i used to be better at this i was lkke. talkative in a couple#muts servers like. i talked 2 ppl daily in those servers and i had fun and like. I was an important part of the group and i felt like it#but i just feel like such an outsider for Everything and its literally my fault bc i cant just like. Talk. The explosion. bc im always like#im gonna try im gonna do it this time im gonna get it back im going to finally be Good connor and im going to fix it all and make a Good#solid friend group and ill find HEALTHY LOVE and i wont selfsabotage and ill move out and have a job and ill balance it well and ill start#all my hobbies and ill have a great routine and be so loveable and on top of it and not stressed and content and happy and roll with the#punches and then theres a single hiccup and im like Well fuckinf whatever im going to be an unemployed hermit forever and im going to die b4#im 25 anyways so Who cares and also im digging a little hole for myself. and its like. AUGHH ik i just have to persevere and overcome but#even saying that feels so stupid its not fucking hard its Talking to ppl. like. i literally if ive ever said a word to you i had to think#avt it and strategize how to respond right even for like. like. it makes it sound like its not genuine it is#like for example i want to say hey i love your art! but then i freak out and im like thats not normal thats like a rly generic comment they#hear that all the time theyll thjnk im being polite and my brains like hrmmm rewrite Your art changed my life. It shaped me. Ill never be#the same. Nad im like ok too far overcorrected go back and the sentence generator is like Your art has colors 💯 like. GOD. WHY IS IT SO#difficult. and then usually i either just dont say anythinf and feel awful abt it 4ever OR i send it on anon and then i spend like 15#minutes ibsessively slightly tweaking the apelling and capitalization and punctuation to make sure it doesnt seem like its me just in case#it Is the worst possible thing to say but then i see the response and itll be like AWWW TYSM :] THIS MEANS A LOT or whathaveyou and i feel#stupid bc i couldve just Told them this to their face and it wouldve been a good positive interaction we had. but instead i had 2 hide and#tyoe entirely differently so they couldnt sniff me from my typing style. and it soesnt even feel like the thanks is actually 4 me bc i#tweaked the message sm. and it still makes me happy that the oersons hapoy but its like. that couldve been a nice mutual interaction#like not that i need a personal ty i compliment ppl when i Want to compliment ppl and when its genuine yk. i dont do it so i get mutualpoint
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"i don't think i'll ever understand musicals the way you do" is something i've heard from one of my friends a couple of days ago when i told him i'm about to cross the whole country just to see one of those (my favourite one!) live in theatre. and i can't blame him. if you'd have told me a year ago that i would do something like that, i'd probably have laughed in your face. life is so unpredictable. i guess i have changed a lot. and i could write thousands of essays about how musicals helped me get through the shittiest period of my life, but we are not going to talk about this today. today we are talking about in the heights, the first musical i got a chance to experience live in theatre, hopefully not last. so grab a cup of coffee and make yourself comfortable, this is going to be the longest essay you've ever seen, friends.
a little warning: spoilers. a lot of them actually. so if, by any chance, you haven't seen/heard it yet and you are going to, don't read it.
first thing i feel like i need to mention is that they had this mini bar inside the theatre and you could order a lot of different drinks there and one of them was called abuela's coffee. i heard one lady explaining to someone that it's actually coffee with condensed milk. my jaw dropped and i was like CAN I STAY HERE FOREVER, PLEASE? for those who don't understand why, here's a quote from the first song:
USNAVI: abuela, my fridge broke, i got café but no con leche ABUELA CLAUDIA: try my mother's old recipe: one can of condensed milk
so this was my first "OH! THEY GET IT!" moment (a little note here: i had a lot of oh, they get it moments, mostly because i don't have any people around me who understand musicals the way i do... honestly, you'd have to live inside my brain). that was the first time ever when i could actually be in the room where it happens with all those people who get it and care about it as much as i do (mostly actors and people responsible for the whole show tho, but we will get to this later).
let's get to the show. so when i finally went inside and i saw the stage, i already had tears in my eyes (don't judge me please). usnavi's store, abuela's door, daniela and carla's salon, all those puerto rican, cuban and dominican flags (one couple behind me was trying to figure out which one is which and it was funny because i knew and i wanted to scream)... listening and memorizing the whole soundtrack is one thing. being able to experience it all live is something else. all those things around me were so familiar and this was the first time in months (MONTHS! OR EVEN YEARS!) i felt really understood. after all, it was all like a little celebration of lin's story (the one i love with all my heart) and i truly felt like home. so that was another OH! THEY GET IT! moment.
i don't think i'm going to talk about every single song here, that's not the point. i will talk about my favourite moments, but also about things that didn't work very well in my opinion (again: this was a polish version so all the songs were translated into polish. and they did a really great job here, surprisingly. but it wasn't perfect, more about that later).
one thing you need to understand is that i will never be normal about musicals so of course i had to burst into tears at the very first song (i don't even know why, i think i was a little bit too excited). i was actually crying in the most random moments like when i first saw nina or at the end of carnaval del barrio because I KNEW WHAT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN NEXT (who the hell cries at carnaval del barrio when everyone is having the time of their lives lol, me apparently).
ok, so the first song. the choreography, oh my god. it was everything. the translation was also pretty good here, i need to say this was probably one of my favourite moments. imagine me leaving today giggling like a child when usnavi came on that stage and started rapping, i was in heaven. also, i have to admit, the cast was amazing. i could never imagine anyone better for this role (and again, i am talking about polish actors because everyone knows who's the best usnavi of them all). he was cute and charming and awkward and so adorkable and also really handsome. he was actually perfect in my opinion.
i kinda lost my mind when i saw nina for the first time. first of all: i already knew who was going to play her and let's just say i fell in love with this actress before i even saw her live on that stage. this was important to me, because (as some of you know) nina rosario is my favourite character. and oh my god, she was an absolute perfection. what a voice, sweet jesus. i'm being serious, this girl is so talented, give her every award (i honestly hope i will have a chance to see her again one day, i'm just crazy about her). and breathe was so good! polish version was amazing, i was so scared they would screw it up, but they didn't, so all's good (this song is very important to me, ok?). also, she's a phenomenal actress, i could feel all her emotions for real. and of course i cried, what did you expect?
i don't have that much to say about benny, except that he was really cute and he had amazing chemistry with nina, so once again, the casting was really good. i mean, he is not chris jackson of course, but i have decided i'm not going to compare all those actors because everyone knows at this point how much i love OBC, i was trying to have an open mind. vanessa was also pretty great, amazing voice and her dancing skills, wow, just wow. i could talk about all those actors for days actually, but i'm not going to do that, so i will just quickly mention that i absolutely loved daniela and carla, abuela claudia made me cry, sonny was the funniest character in the whole play and i don't think i will ever recover after piragua guy's performance (i was the only person in the audience who was laughing when he came on that stage, they don't get it, ok? polish people have no sense of humour and that's a fact). actually, there were a lot of funny moments (obviously) and i was the only person who was laughing, god help me.
so let's get to the first thing that was a little disappointing for me. you will not believe it, but it was actually... 96,000 (this is one of my favourite songs and i seriously can't live like this). it's not the translation tho (it was honestly fine), it's the voice overlapping part at the end (again, the best thing ever, just listen to we don't talk about bruno from encanto and non-stop from hamilton and you will understand why it works so well in every lmm's song). the thing is, you could actually only hear vanessa's part and i wanted to die, because EXCUSE ME. i always sing usnavi's part and you could barely hear a word from it. but apart from that, the rest was fine, the choreography was amazing and it's just something i needed to mention because i had thoughts about it.
paciencia y fe! ok besties, i have thoughts, again. abuela claudia was absolutely incredible, also, her relationship with usnavi is something that you can't see in the movie version (they were so sweet i wanted to curl up and die. i knew about it before, i saw slime tutorial with obc on yt, ok? i'm pretty sure lin would be mad at me for watching bootlegs lol. i just wanted to say this). the translation didn't work out at the very end of the song tho, because when in the og version abuela sings about the "winning ticket", everyone knows already she won the lottery. i don't remember polish translation exactly, but it was something with double meaning, depends on how you interpret it, and i'm 100% sure people who didn't know the plot just didn't catch it. the rest of the song was absolutely beautiful tho.
when you're home. i was so afraid of this one, because i am totally crazy about this song (did i ever mention lin wrote this one after one of his first dates with vanessa? no? yes? ok i'll shut up about this now). oh, they did a really great job with it and it's a relief. i have nothing else to say, except that i was crying like a baby, but this song always makes me cry so what did you expect exactly? one of the best moments for sure. again, nina and benny's chemistry was absolutely incredible.
as much as i loved the club, i was actually really disappointed with one part, which is usnavi's famous "jealous i ain't jealous, i can take all these fellas, wHaTeVaaaaa". i've been waiting so long for this! and they messed it up with their stupid cringy translation which i don't even remember at the moment but usnavi was actually mad at benny and he cursed? ANYWAY. the rest of the song was great and the choreography was absolutely phenomenal, oh vanessa! let me get the next one! (i love her so much, she was amazing here). a little note from me: no one was laughing at the "no hablo ingles" part, NO ONE BUT ME!!! THEY DON'T GET IT! WTF! i was so mad (i am aware of the fact that most people probably didn't even know this story before and they just wanted to see a musical, not THE MUSICAL, which is totally fine. but sweet jesus, where is their sense of humour? they left it at home or what?).
and blackout was that part where the voice overlapping effect worked very well, so all's good. actually, one of the best moments for me as well. people were actually so confused when all the lights went down, but that was just so amazing. all the panic! everybody was screaming, crying! WE ARE POWERLESS! THE END OF ACT I!!! oh, i had the time of my life.
i had this weird feeling that they didn't exactly know how to translate most of hundreds of stories so they just made this song shorter than it actually is. which is fine i guess. honestly, it's better than bad translation, so i can forgive them. what i absolutely can't forgive tho is that the audience wasn't laughing at US NAVY. polish people, you have no fucking taste. i said what i said. and then again, usnavi and abuela's relationship was so sweet this song actually made me cry (mostly because i knew what was coming but also, i was just this weird girl who was sitting there in the second row and was crying at the most random moments).
ok, guys, honestly. carnaval del barrio was the best moment from the entire musical. oh, how much i want to experience it again! daniela was absolutely incredible, carla was so sweet, piragua guy stole the whole fucking show for me (seriously guys! he was just so amazing!). also, those little details i have never noticed before? i can't even tell if the same thing happened in the original version (the quality of that bootleg is actually terrible), but benny dancing with american flag somewhere in the background was so fucking funny and i don't think i will ever get over that part where at the end they were all still dancing and celebrating and nina and usnavi just ran away as fast as they could because... because you guys know what just happened. also, this is the moment i started crying.
i was so scared of it. let me tell you one thing, i experienced abuela's death at least fifty times and i still cry every single time. so atención is something i have to mention, because all the emotions and kevin's shaky voice made me burst into tears right away, and this time i wasn't the only one because i saw a lot of people crying when they realized what happened (i also heard a lot of OHs when he said abuela passed away, so yes, most of them didn't know this story and they were surprised). and alabanza was something else. believe me when i tell you i am writing this with tears in my eyes, i have never cried so much in public. this was the moment i was the most scared of and i was absolutely right because holy fuck. i was a mess. all the actors with those candles singing alabanza a doña claudia! (yes, they didn't translate it, all the spanish parts were left like in the original version and i am so grateful for that), it was just so sad and so beautiful. and this time i was actually like oh, they get it now (everyone was speechless and people were crying).
everyone must know at this point how much i adore champagne and i wasn't disappointed (thank god!). once again, usnavi was absolutely adorable here and people were actually laughing this time (also thank god!). how do you get this gold shit off? (my favourite line from the whole musical) was translated really well and the moment when usnavi and vanessa kissed! with all lights on them! this was so emotional and the audience reacted so well! we were all clapping (it was so funny to pretend like i didn't know it was gonna happen haha i was just as excited as all of them and once again i was like OH! THEY GET IT!). 10/10, would recommend.
if you think i wasn't crying during the last song, think again. one thing i absolutely hate about the movie version is that they actually changed the graffiti that made usnavi stay in washington heights, but i'm not gonna talk about that and i'm not gonna talk about vanessa also being there in the movie. in the original version it was a portrait of abuela claudia made by graffiti pete and oh boy, i lost my mind (i knew about it but i still lost my mind because it was absolutely beautiful). i got the feeling it was a little rushed in our polish version, but i can forgive them because it still made me cry. also, at the very end, usnavi did not only finally acknowledge he's home, when the song was over he pretty much told the audience that we are all home right now and may i just say... i felt that. i was home. they made me believe for the first time in my life i was where i belong, and somehow that was everything.
one thing about me is that this is actually all new to me. this was my first musical i saw live in theatre (and also lin's first child, which is exactly how it was supposed to be i think), and believe me when i tell you i've never had this much fun in my entire life, not even at all the concerts of my favourite artists. it was worth every money. it was worth spending 11 hours on the train and 11 more on my way back home, which by the way we should normalize (people are doing crazy things just to see their favourite artists on the stage and it's considered normal, so why can't we consider THIS normal?). anyway, i don't expect anyone around me to understand it the way i do, but i feel like i really found my thing, and it's all because of lin-manuel miranda, our beautiful puerto rican genius. he made me believe musicals can be cool and i truly wish i could thank him for that one day.
and like i said, in the heights is my favourite story with my favourite characters and i listened to it so many times i have memorized all the little details. experiencing it live is something completely different tho and i think it's safe to say this was the best night of my entire life. even tho most of the people in the audience didn't really get it, i finally felt like i was a part of this world created by my favourite genius and for the first time ever i felt understood. so i think i can say that now: i found my island, guys, i'm there, i'm home!
#if you were able to read the whole thing: congrats#also another note from me: i apologize for all those “they get it” “they dont get it”#i swear to god i am not making fun of anyone#you guys just know how much i am into it#and if other people were just there to enjoy it it's totally fine!#not everyone has to be obsessed!#but i am!#so i just wanted to explain it ok?#good.#also i apologize for it being so long but i had so much to say and i still feel like i didn't say everything i wanted#feel free to leave a comment or ask any questions if you want#now if you think i will finally shut up about in the heights on my silly little blog think again#i love it even more now if that's possible#and another explanation: i'm gonna tag this as my countdown because again i want all my ith posts in one place#thank you for your attention#it won't be long now*#why do you write like you're running out of time*#(not gonna tag this as ith cause this is only for my moots cause you guys get it)#(the last time one of my ith posts was seen by people who dont even know what that is i was depressed for days but that's another story)#(iykyk)#(and you know cause you left me tons of sweet messages guys i love you)
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I'll never be able to take the theory that Vincent is Sephiroth's real father seriously cuz I cannot stress enough how important I think it is to the plot that Vincent wanted to fuck Lucrecia and did not get to.
#once again i jest but now i have to actually talk about it#like. okay we have no proof of any actual timeline for the dirge flashbacks other than. it was at least 30 years ago#so who knows how long they were at the manor. could have been weeks before The Incident. or months. or maybe a full year! who knows#but to me a timeline of like. they fucked and like a week later vincent found The Evidence and lucercia had her little breakdown#AND THEN EXTREMELY QUICKLY SHE AGREED TO THE EXPERIMENT AND IT COULD GO ONE OF TWO WAYS#1. she knew she was pregnant and thats why she agreed to the experiment cuz there was already a usable subject#and therefore she must have fucked hojo like a week after she fucked vincent AND THATS STUPID FAST FOR THESE EVENTS#or 2. she didnt know. agreed to the experiment. fucked hojo. and therefore thought seph was hojo's and NOT vincent's#AND BY THE WAY. i dont even actually believe hojo fucked either!!! cuz theyre both scientists so why wouldnt they think IVF was the best way#okay. well.... hojo is canonically a fucked up little freak. so. he might have taken the opportunity to... get in there.#also when did ivf even start being a thing? cuz that may play a factor into this if nomura even considered that#well either way lets just unfortunately assume hojo got in there#ITS STILL AN ODDLY FAST TIMELINE#also. fuck man doesnt lucrecia have a later line in dirge where she actually says shes in love with hojo? or something along those lines#IMPLYING ITS BEEN AWHILE SINCE SHE HAD THE FALLING OUT WITH VINCENT. YOU WOULDNT FUCK THE GUY AFTER ALL THAT SHIT#AND WHILE CLAIMING TO LOVE/CURRENTLY FALLING IN LOVE WITH HOJO!!!! LIKE CMON MAN!!!! SHE SUCKS BUT SHES NOT THAT KIND OF A MESS#i dont think vincent would fuck her until they sorted out their issues anyway and that CLEARLY didnt happen.#its VITAL that that did not happen!!!!#its just. if vincent and lucrecia fucked. everything would have had to happen EXTREMELY fast within like a 2 week timespan#and im just talking about up to when vincent learns shes partaking in the experiment. it was probably another week or two until vincent died#SO. logically it must have been like#fall in love->learn about the gimoire incident->refuse to speak to vincent->get obsessed with hojo->fall in love(?)#and then thats where i think its ambiguous on did the experiment become an idea before or after seph started to exist?#like chicken or the egg ya know. experiment idea or sephiroth zygote?#that feels fucked up to say. im so fucking sorry to seph to talk about this. yeah sorry i have to debate who fucked your mom bro#god imagine telling him that. like not even as a reveal thing cuz he knows who his father is. just like as a sick joke. your mom joke.#NO OH M Y GOD I HAVE A QUESTION NOW#in accordance to him having a photo of lucrecia in ever crisis. after he reads that jenova is an ancient (incorrect btw)#does he think that picture is still her? what about when he takes jenova's body from the lab????#oh my god 30 tag limit. FUCK. i need like a rant blog for all this vincent talk now. my brain is going a mile a minute
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ever since i discovered thrifting clothes online it is now a weakness of mine i’m like oh i can get this nice shirt for an affordable price? and then i have gotten 5 shirts at an affordable price and spent $80 😔✌️
#michelle speaks#it’s ok bc i have a lot of clothes i need to donate that are like really old & i don’t wear#bc i got them when i was 18 and was not dressing how i actually like to dress bc i didn’t know what to do w myself#so now i have a bunch of clothes that are like a little too feminine for me to wear so i need to stop hoarding them 😩#and then some other clothes that were not the best quality & i have worn them out at this point so like basically i need some new clothes#& thrifting is nice bc as i said i can get nicer clothes for a good price without promoting unethical practices ❤️ beautiful ❤️#but now that i have a better idea of things i actually like wearing it’s a lot easier for me to buy clothes & wear them a million times#but like. i have clothes i bought when i was still in high school lmfao. i still have the first plaid shirt i bought after watching spn 😭😭😭#it’s in my closet rn & i still wear it. bc it’s still good!!!!!!! i am just trying to emphasize that i am not like wasteful abt clothes 😭#idk why i think me saying i spent $80 on thrifted clothes comes across that i am wasteful abt clothing…….i am not the type of person to buy#clothes to wear it a single time i wear all my clothes a million times until i’m like oh i dont like this anymore :/#which is what happened w all of the more feminine stuff i had where i was like wait this does not align w my spirit at all#but like i wore all those clothes when i was first in college & was like why do i feel so uncomfortable all the time lol#but i also have stuff from then that i still wear. one of my favorite sweatshirts i bought when i was 18 and still wear#but yeah BASICALLY my point is that i have been hoarding a lot of old clothes that i don’t wear anymore that i need to get rid of#so i don’t feel bad abt buying a little more clothing bc i know i will have space for it. also i have been thrifting some professional#clothing which is nice bc that can be very expensive to get nice things so i am slowly building my professional wardrobe for when i need it#full time in the future. my mind basically. always 10 steps ahead. in clothing at least.#ok i have run out of things to say now if u have read all of this. idk. u r truly dedicated.#i only thrifted more stuff actually bc i didn’t get the youtuber sweatpants set lol. i had ordered a sweater i really wanted & i had a week#to add more to the order so bc i didn’t buy her stuff i added a few more things when otherwise i was only going to add MAYBE one thing if#there was smth i really wanted so um. i’m smart. i can budget. i can conceptualize things………
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heres my one page thesis on why hinomori mafuyu real
#back on this again. apologizes but the newest event hit me across the face#they found her in a wet cardboard box all alone…#also all of l/n call her babygirl its just that mafuyu only knows this from kanade who in turn has only heard honami say it#anyways heres my thoughts on the hinomoris and why they should get to keep mafuyu#uh.#so everyone knows how mafuyu has the mask she puts on yea. but i dont really see people mention how shiho and shizuku. also have that#in different but still similar ways#with shizuku putting on a perfect act where shes always smiling for her idol job and as to not worry her friends and shiho#while shiho puts on her act of not caring and pushing everyone way so they dont have to deal with her or the people who target her#so as we can see here. they both put on a mask and are self sacrificial about it for the sake of others#mafuyu does that too but instead of doing it for her friends and those that actually care about her. she does it for her mom who does not#idk. anyways something something these three have a similar way of dealing with things by bottling it up until they no longer feel it#do you get me#do you understand what im on about#if not idk i might be making it all up i havent had a chance to watch all of the events and ive been kind of skipping around on them#like watching the newer ones first which is probably not the best idea#okay im done now i just want others to see the vision and do my work for me#project sekai#mafuyu asahina#shiho hinomori#shizuku hinomori#oh last thing. shiho and shizuku absolutely beat up asahina its what they all deserve#asahina mother i mean. not mafuyu. they beat each other up in the losing at card games way while they beat up asahina mom with a steel chair
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am i so hard to care about?
#i need to vent and i know u guys cant stand me because i can feel it (and certainly from the anon hate) but i think im gonna have an ulcer#if i dont put this out somewhere#SH s*icide tw !!!!!#i need some advice or opinions because i feel like im losing it#i dont understand why my friends cant care about me#i know !!! i know i seem out of touch and insane because i say this so often and the question to someone reading would come natural: maybe#it is just ur perception…. maybe u suck ass as a friend too#and i do ponder about that!!!!!! i take those possibilities into consideration i do. and i genuinely dont think i suck as a friend. i always#check in. if they seem off i ask how they feel. i ask updates on their stuff. i dont think i deserve this tbh#but especially when i am struggling they just disappear#like even when i reach out and let them know im doing bad. they clearly read my measages and choose to ignore them#these are supposed to be my best friends#these days ive been so bad. and trigger warning again#i just feel so suicidal and i have been hurting myself in the desperate attempt to cope and manage these thoughts#and i dont tell them these things#i dont share the details because 1) it is too much to dump on someone and 2) they dont show any interest even on the surface level of my#problems so i just wouldnt tell them the deeper issues#i am just in so much pain. and i also feel a lot of anger because of their behavior. i feel so so hurt by it. so many years of this going on#of them just not even acknowledging my struggles while i was in the midst of them and trying still to support them and be there for e#whatever they had going on. and getting nothing in return#i hate that i feel so angry but i do. and ive been swallowing this anger and pain for so long i feel it eating my insides#even my therapist doesnt understand why i am friends with people that dont care about me#i dont know what i should do#i want to say something#actually i already talked about this to one of them one year ago exactly and i told her all these things and she just said she didnt know#why i was ignored. and then still kept being a part of it#the thing is i am so upset and my mental health is so so so bad. i am supposed to spend new years eve with them in two days but i dont know#how i can do that feeling like this#but if i speak to them about it i think it will also ruin the mood#if someone has any thoughts or advice it would be very welcome….
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Imagine saying the Gods from the Myths are not the embodiment of natural law because you don't like how they are portrayed in a children's book.
#honestly i refuse to believe someone can claim that so proundly and ask for proof#and ask for proof on why they are not#you are the one bringing mythology to the discussion#you should at least have studied about the subject if you are saying those things#the myths are the base of a whole religion lets start there it is not only a sleep story#they carry lessons and values of ancient greece p#they are also not to be taken literally#it is like a fable#second it is the very first thing you learn while studying the classics or if you're studying archeology#which means there is tons of thesis published proofing it you only have to search#if you want resources you can read Homer Aristophanes Euripedes Apollodores Saphocles#i will always recommend luc ferry books if you want to know the phylophical takes behind the myths#what is impressive this person still wants to be taken seriously after saying it#you are not slaying you are just being lound of your ignorance#hate pjo gods as much as you like#dont bring the myths - and the religion it comes with them - if you never had the work to open a book about the myths#I wouldnt say anything but saying that Zeus is pink octopus with a breeding kink therefore cannot be an embodiment of natural law#had me spiriling#as always#pjo gods ≠ real greek mythology#pjo#percy jackson & the olympians
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cleaning out my following list and am being reminded of the phase i had where i was trying to make myself feel about being wlw the way i felt about being mlm (which is not what i called it at the time and also i was bisexual at this time) and i did this by. following every random carol fan blog i could find jshdsjhshjdsdcjhsdjchsbjdcgshdcjsdghcjh
#to be fair this phase introduced me to some banger media#but i literally was like so disturbed by how i felt about mlm media that i tried to compensate by placing myself in as much proximity to wl#media/aesthetics as possible. which meant. LATCH ONTO THE FIRST WLW MOVIE YOU EVER WATCH APPARENTLY#i was trying to train myself to be sapphic/a better sapphic?? and present as such. Online#which i feel like sapphic is a different thing from being wlw/gay (for women) but thats another conversation#but yeah LMAO i was like i need to be reading/watching more WOMAN media. man PURGE#bizarre form of not quite conversion therapy i dont even know what to say lmaooooooo#karinyo.txt#but yeah no like the way i dressed was to an extent how i imagined a specific type of bisexual/sapphic woman might dress#and i was trying to seek out wlw media that was like. the wlw equivalent of the mlm media i liked. like i thought the issue was the type#of media i'd seen. this is how i got into within the wires#which is a BANGER podcast to be fair wtw season 2 SLAPS. love those insane old women <3#but no yeah i was like. it's hashtag carol christmas smiling emoji smiling emoji#literally hello fellow sapphics#this is why part of me is still like maybe the only reason i dont like girls is becuse i associate that with being a woman HJDHFJSHJ#like maybe when he gets on testosterone he'll be slightly more bisexual#may also have had something to do with the fact that most of my friends strongly preferred women and/or ided as wlw-adjacent at the time?#like i also just wanted to be seen by them as having good taste shdskdsjdkj#hence. man purge
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#I MEAN. I LIKE GIRLS. RIGHT. WHY DOES THIS FEEL SO WEIRD. I HAVE HAD ONE(1) CRUSH BEFORE AND THAT WAS A GUY.MAYBE BECAUSE OF THAT? BUT THEN#NOW WHENI THINK ABT IT WAS ONLY HOW HE LOOKED. ESPECIALLYY HIS EYES AND HE HAD VERY UHHH DRAWABLE FEATURES. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE#THINKING OF IT...I NEVER EVEN LIKE THOUGHT ABT CONFESSING OR DATING OR EVEN TALKING WITH HIM....I actively avoided even thinking about it#at that time i thought that was because in a way i was guilty of having those feelings for him considering we barely had interactedand it f#felt weirdly creepy thinking of osmeone that way without their knowledge(??)#now i still retain some of that sentiment but also...was i really romantically or sexually attracted to him at all?#when i see people and actors and characters online i do find them hot but irl...do I really want that sort of thing?#whenver i read stories of romance and close friendships too i aways want to have those in mmy life. but#like okay romance aside...even in friendships i.i just can't do them?#i like helping people and i o enjoy having casula conversations i like being nice to people too nut#but it. it feels sort of suffocating to be close to people emotionally?#i dnt know how to put it but there's always a limit after which it starts feeling weird. i want close strong bonds with people but ifeel so#uncomfortable when it starts happening.so many people around me love me in all different forms but o i really love them all back in the sam#intensity? I think I can only say that for my parents. my friends...i don't know.#do i really care about them asmuch as they care about me?#i do a lot of things...i say a lot of things that can only be said if i cared about the other person honestly and earnestly..#but. butto me it really feels like it isnt that deep#these ats of servic don't come from my heart nor my head#i just. do them because...i don't evenknow..that's just my response...i really dont think anything of it.#i don'tknw. this is all so stressful i wish icould just do whatever i ahve to do for a day interacting with peopel andleavingeverything beh#behind when icome home. but then it feelsso lonely but being around people also makes me feeluncomfortable when i try to establish bonds wi#them.#i don't knwo i wish i never gto close to them in first place.....life wouldve been so much easier
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