#i still cant believe its real lol
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
finally my art residency is over, culminating in an exhibition. i created an installation about tech liberating women from a radfem perspective, through re-mater-ializing women's history. specfically female warriors, queens and goddesses from one matriarchal society that ACTUALLY existed in 400 bc. i remodeled and 3D printed artifacts of this society, depicting these warriors, goddesses and queens (the smaller parts of the installation). if tech in male hands can erase and dismember women, it can also do the opposite in ours. i succeeded in making a piece that doesn't mention moids at all and inspires #hopeforwomen by combining a futuristic aesthetic and ancient female history.
the installation is made from wood that i cut by saw and by laser. it's a shrine that is separated in three parts: the mother (bottom disk, depicting a vulva, symbolizing reproductive creativity), the maiden (the middle disk that looks like an electronic circuit, representing curiousity, thirst for knowledge, innovation - scientific and technological creativity ) and the crone (top parts, artistic creativity and history, features 3D printed Scythian artifacts that depict their matriarchs and goddesses, and laser cut red plexiglass that symbolizes menstrual blood and radiates technomatriarchal vibes from the top of the piece lol). the maiden/circuit part has an NFC tag. If you touch it with your phone, it opens the historical resources about the Scythian matriarchy&amazons. the maiden and the mother disk are connected by a reprinted Scythian artifact that depics the Great snake-legged Goddess.
the exhibition opening was a huge hit and there were several hundreds of people who visited it, a record for that gallery. i heard praise of my work and one woman was so touched (it reminded her of her spiritual yonic awakening) we exchanged contact information :) common radfem W all around
347 notes
·
View notes
Text
Me reading a fic where the person had an identidy realization that they were in he aroace spectrum and now they were figuring themselves out(I finally found something that understood me and a romance I could relate to after all these years)
#love loses! you're on the aroace spectrum and you dont fucking know what you are but you're definitely on the spectrum#but it's so hard to explain bcuz how do youve never had a real crush on someone but also have had platonic feelings for someone#and dont want to do the romance thing but also still want to have a queer platonic relationship and do romance things?#YOU DONT#IT DOESNT MAKE SENSE TO ME BUT I JUST KNOW#ESPECIALLY BECAUSE I CANT JUST GET CRUSHES ON PEOPLE IT TAKES YEARS I'VE ONLY HAD 1 CRUSH THROUGHOUT MY LIFE#AND I JUST WANTWD TO BE FRIENDS WITH HIM#I thought that was just me but the author was projecting and explained perfectly what i was going through#and ik i say “I cried” a lot when talking about something but i did actually cry#had to put my phone down bcuz it felt so nice to be understood#idk just venting and rambling lol#aroace#ace spectrum#gotta keep a journal on this bcuz i want to explain to people but it's so hard for even me to grasp#and i feel like they won't believe me anyways bcuz ive tried to himt st it but i just get weird looks#its annoying but it is what it is#aromantic#asexual#lgbt#queer#talking#rambling
122 notes
·
View notes
Text
examining a seemingly normal image only to slowly realize the clear signs of AI generated art.... i know what you are... you cannot hide your true nature from me... go back where you came from... out of my sight with haste, wretched and vile husk
#BEGONE!!! *wizard beam blast leaving a black smoking crater in the middle of the tumblr dashboard*#I think another downside to everyone doing everything on phone apps on shitty tiny screens nowadays is the inability to really see details#of an image and thus its easier to share BLATANTLY fake things like.. even 'good' ai art has pretty obvious tells at this point#but especially MOST of it is not even 'good' and will have details that are clearly off or lines that dont make sense/uneven (like the imag#of a house interior and in the corner there's a cabinet and it has handles as if it has doors that open but there#are no actual doors visible. or both handles are slightly different shapes. So much stuff that looks 'normal' at first glance#but then you can clearly tell it's just added details with no intention or thought behind it. a pattern that starts and then just abruptly#doesn't go anywhere. etc. etc. )#the same thing with how YEARS ago when I followed more fashion type blogs on tumblr and 'colored hair' was a cool ''''New Thing''' instead#of being the norm now basically. and people would share photos of like ombre hair designs and stuff that were CLEARLY photoshop like#you could LITERally see the coloring outside of the lines. blurs of color that extend past the hair line to the rest of the image#or etc. But people would just share them regardless and comment like 'omg i wish I could do this to my hair!' or 'hair goallzzzz!! i#wonder what salon they went to !!' which would make me want to scream and correct them everytime ( i did not lol)#hhhhhhggh... literally view the image on anything close to a full sized screen and You Will SEe#I don't know why it's such a pet peeve of mine. I think just as always I'm obsessed with the reality and truth of things. most of the thing#that annoy me most about people are situations in which people are misinterpreting/misunderstanding how something works or having a misconc#eption about somehting thats easily provable as false or etc. etc. Even if it's harmless for some random woman on facebook to believe that#this AI generated image of a cat shaped coffee machine is actually a real product she could buy somewhere ... I still urgently#wish I could be like 'IT IS ALL AN ILLUSION. YOU SEE???? ITS NOT REALL!!!!! AAAAA' hjhjnj#Like those AI shoes that went around for a while with 1000000s of comments like 'omg LOVE these where can i get them!?' and it's like YOU#CANT!!! YOU CANT GET THEM!!! THEY DONT EXIST!!! THE EYELETS DONT EVEN LINE UP THE SHOES DONT EVEN#MATCH THE PATTERNS ARE GIBBERISH!! HOW CAN YOU NOT SEE THEY ARE NOT REAL!??!!' *sobbing in the rain like in some drama movie*#Sorry I'm a pedantic hater who loves truth and accuracy of interpretation and collecting information lol#I think moreso the lacking of context? Like for example I find the enneagram interesting but I nearly ALWAYS preface any talking about it#with ''and I know this is not scientifically accurate it's just an interesting system humans invented to classify ourselve and our traits#and I find it sociologically fascinating the same way I find religion fascinating'. If someone presented personality typing information wit#out that sort of context or was purporting that enneagram types are like 100% solid scientific truth and people should be classified by the#unquestionaingly in daily life or something then.. yeah fuck that. If these images had like disclaimers BIG in the image description somewh#re like 'this is not a real thing it's just an AI generated image I made up' then fine. I still largely disagree with the ethics behind AI#art but at least it's informed. It's the fact that people just post images w/o context or beleive a falsehood about it.. then its aAAAAAA
30 notes
·
View notes
Text
My partner finally finished BG3 but has no idea that his ending was actually bad cause he was a pro-Vlaakith githyanki who rode off with Lae'zel but got NO EPILOGUE where Withers points out y'all died im 😭😭😭
they have no idea what happened with Gale or anyone else (who was still alive) after flying away 🙃🙃🙃
#i cant even tell him cause hes gonna play again more “normally”#its so tragic he would like skip dialogue and just fight to get the jump on boss battles instead of waiting for the cutscenes to start#and he didn't exhaust dialogue trees!! like... how... why...#and also he staked Astarion 😭 and p much never reloaded#and didn't clear the shadow curse so no Halsin#also everyone at Last Light Inn died so Dammon was gone and Karlach only got 2 upgrades#and he didnt know moonrise towers was basically a second town#and his game was buggy a lot maybe? cause he kept trying to be hella creative with things and do things out of order#like killing gortash before doing steel watch 🙃#it's fine it's fine everyone plays differently#he tends to care more about gameplay than anything else but still!!#i just want him to know all the character backstories and see everything that made me emotional#i mean he did say he was sad when Lae'zel broke up with him in act 3 and when Karlach died and when he had Gale use the orb in act 2#which he considered his canon ending :/ sigh#i dont think he got Jaheira's lines about death#and he didnt understand why Karlach wouldn't go back to the hells#and he thought Wyll was happy being the duke (and has NO idea you could save his dad cause the mission didn't happen!! 😭)#the iron throne was like my fave mission outside of killing Cazador and I can't discuss either one cause he didn't do them properly yet 😭😭#he also avoided talking to children so he missed those quests and yenna glitched so no cat appeared in camp 🙃#sighhhhh cannot believe he plays so differently than i do lollll#he didn't even do unlimited kisses with Lae'zel!! meanwhile im over here kissing Astarion every night hahahah#hoping my partner doesn't see IRL if I have the office door open as if it matters lmfaooooo#i need him to play again and see why im in love with a video game character lol#maybe we could both um... benefit from knowing more about all of Astarion's scenes lmao#but like he has NOT SEEN Astarion's silly or sweet side yet just him being a bit of a chaotic vampire#and thinks i like him cause of vampires WRONG!! play the game again and see that i love his silly & sweet real self!#bg3 spoilers#baldur's gate 3 spoilers#bg3#baldur's gate 3
14 notes
·
View notes
Text
people conflate being nice with not being critical. Being nice to people doesnt mean never presenting them with any kind of negative information or feedback it means don't be a prick while doing it
#.txt#i think thats the thing i dont like so much about the current culture of art on the internet#like its good people want it to be welcoming for new artists#but its kinda turned into an endless positivity echo chamber without any real substance#you cant get real critique on anything cuz people want to be 'nice' so they only mention the good things#which I guess will never offend someone but imo its annoying asf that you cant get honest feedback on anything#its just platitudes and so you get a ton of people who want to have high quality art#but are told theyre snobs and dicks for even believing in a hierarchy of art quality#when youre a beginner you can tell people are tiptoeing around saying the obvious thing#which is that its obviously made by a beginner#and thats fucking humilating tbh#to have people treat you like a first grader who'll break down into tears if you dont tell them theyre doing perfect and amazing#maybe this has just been my personal experience but I gave up art cuz I felt stupid taking it seriously#like no matter how hard i pressed for feedback or critique or tips people would just kinda smile and nod#tell me my art is AMAZING and soooooooooo so good but like. no it wasnt and still isnt lol#theyre crude and sure maybe theyre not garbage but I know they're not good cuz i have eyes#instead of trying to convince me that my opinion is wrong how about you just give me some advice#like any
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
im soooooo glad people are seeing my emdroid & infected paul vision
#GODD like im so obsessed with the idea#its potential to be soo evil or so angsty#like I see it as basically pokotho and emma pretending together#because pokey needs his leading lady! And Emma wants her fucking life back!!#And then Pokotho finds REAL Emma.... and well he doesnt need some android substitute anymore#But I feel theres some other ways to approach the idea too#I think Nick Lang said if Emdroid was in TGWDLM IN THEORY!! Pokotho could go digital and Em could still join the hive#Or we could go full crack and have Pokotho/Infected Paul develop feelings for Emdroid and Emdroid forget that Paul isnt actually Paul#Or do something with Half-Infected Paul & Emdroid oo#I cant believe I got on the bandwagon for Emma/Pokey faster than Paul/Pokey#But yknow the true crackship?#Emma/Pokey/Paul poly come on-#Anyways I know this is my blog but ill see myself out LOL
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
Okay so basically the United States MINT of all people is going to be working with DC to make a line of coins! These coins sadly won't be in circulation (the things I would do to live in a world where I could get Batman coins from the supermarket) as they're collectors coins, but will be releasing over the course of the next 3 years, 2025-2027.
Designs haven't been released yet (the same is true for all 2025 designs) but we know there will be 9 coins in total (3 each year) with the first year featuring (of course!!!) Superman, Batman, and Wonder Woman.
Although we know the first three heroes to be featured, the remaining six have yet to be decided, and it turns out the Mint is putting out a survey on their site to gauge which of a group of culturally significant heroes people want to see most! (link to the form is mentioned in the article above)
The considered group includes: Supergirl, the Flash, Green Arrow, Black Canary, Captain Marvel, John Stewart GL, Aquaman, Hawkman, Jamie Reyes BB, Robin (Damian?), Cyborg, and Batgirl, of which 6 will be selected.
As someone who does a bit of coin collecting myself (mainly circulation coins like the quarters sets, but I also have a couple proof and collectors coins) I think this is a really cool and interesting idea that showcases the history of the comics medium and these characters and their influence on American culture. Really excited to wait and see what the designs look like for the coins already announced!
#ABSOLUTELY INSANE TO ME#sorry just. only thing that could make this crazier is if these were circulating. i would fucking die actually lmao#i mean you could buy something with one of these legally but like youre an idiot if you do that so likeeee#someone showing up with the solid gold superman collector coin and its only legally worth a dollar lmao#not that someone would do this but future generations/archeologists finding a coin in some ruins and it just has like. batman on it#amazing to me#also just the transition from us currency having all fake people (lady liberty some random native american guy etc.) and then going to real#people and presidents then expanding that to honor people that they believe should be honored (think the harriet tubman coin set right now)#and representing beauty and innovation and culture through representation of the states#only through that lens to swing back around and have fake people on the coins again in the form of the freaking dc trinity. insane to me#no one ever gets me when im nerding out over coins its okay. at least its not postage stamps (i actually do have some special postage stamps#its like 1 sheet though it was for the 2017 eclipse and the image changes from totality to the moon with the heat of your finger theyre so#cool okay) anyways i like dont really know that much abt coins lol i originally saw a post abt this on reddit 💀 lol and had to check this#was real which is insane. anyways my dad got my all my coin stuff ive got a proof set from the year i was born albums to hold the 50 states#and national parks (america the beautiful but its 90% natl park designs lets be honest here) quarter collections as i find them irl#(dont have an album for us women yet sadly but do have some of the coins) as well as a few dimes and other circulation albums i havent used#much. and then i have a few collectibles like the hubble telescope $1 coin the 50th anniversary apollo 11 one and the 2021 anniversary peace#dollar. though like not the gold ones or anything like that lol but yeah. i talk abt coins every once and a while with friends and i know#things but then my dad is in the car and its like nevermind lol.#also put a ? after damian's name bc theres a chance it could be dick and they just used the wrong picture. because some of the character#bios had names but his didnt and seemed very dick grayson (acrobatics mention “batman's partner” etc) but not so specfic exclude either one#and the pick was damian. but then the ollie pick was goateeless for some reason so who knows#culturally dick is more important but dami is current so idk#dc comics#blah#ive really been learning so much today. first all in announcement and subsequent leaks and now this. what a ride#also love how im anticipating and know future comics things lol. when did that happen haha. ive really transitioned from only reading back#issues and never knowing current events to following a lot of releases lol and somehow finding out about the freaking coin collection...#crazy how that happens#cant scroll up at that first image without losing it a bit still actually. what a world we live in. anyways take your bets who is gonna be
5 notes
·
View notes
Note
heyy just wondering if you're gonna make any more random Carmen stuff? i love your crack vids, and if you aren't gonna make anymore Youtube stuff thats totally fine! just love your content. thanks Jackie!
thanks for loving my stuff! but im normal about carmen sandiego now so no more videos (frantically shoving 6 videos worth of notes behind my back so you cant see them)
#in case it wasnt obvious this was sarcasm#yes i will be doing more carmen!!#though the gap between now and my last video is only 2 months#like. come on ive gone way longer without posting#this isnt a dig at this specific anon as they were very sweet about it#but as a person who creates videos for youtube its so frustrating that i cant go more than 2 weeks without posting#otherwise i will get a million comments asking 'whens the next video? why havent you posted? do you not like carmen anymore?'#and then when i finally DO post its like 'oh wow i thought you died lol. i cant believe youre alive. you still like carmen??'#i have a fucking life outside of carmen and youtube! you arent happy about it and im certainly not happy about it either!#youtube audiences specifically are so awful about this because of youtubes awful design of rewarding a constant stream of low quality vids#and ppl cant tell the difference between lower and higher quality so ppl are expecting weekly 10min+ videos from me! i am 1 fucking person!#i never get this kind of shit from ao3 man#woah. got a little too real there. sorry guys#quick look at the funny man falling from a rooftop onto his car
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
“oh ha ha the theory where ashfur is dovewing and ivypools father is so cringe”
#but…. my melodrama….#real talk i like the theory but dislike whiteash. im not a believer bc i ship them im a believer bc its interesting to me#i see it as like. ashfur had a bruised ego and whitewing had had a crush on him since she was young#and he basically just. used her to restore his ego. bc hes a creep. he went to her not out of love not even as a second choice#but to go ‘’see? SOMEONE loves me so why cant that bitch love me? shes missing out on me#but he ofc wants squilf as a mate. so hes not official with whitewing he wont let her tell anyone#bc he wants her to come back to him and she cant do that if hes not available#so yeah means to an end situation. and when whitewing gets pregnant ashfur ditches her bc he wants REAL kits with squirrelflight#and whitewing is pretty sick of him but she still doesnt want to say who the dad is bc shes grossed out by him now#bc cant imagine he was exactly nice to her#and birchfall decides to be their adoptive dad bc he and whitewing are besties#and hes also in love w one of the shadowclan cats he traveled with so like lol works for him#and its not bc i want to put whitewing through that or something its bc i think the repercussions would be interesting#lionblaze and jayfeather try to be kind to dovepaw. but they look at her and see their murderer in their sisters place#dove and ivy being abandoned by their dad and only existing out of spite really. how that connects to the prophecy#and when it comes out that ashfur was an attempted murderer and they suspect hes their dad it just gets worse#and then in tbc two of the protags would be ashfurs grandchildren… they exist bc of him#and he uses both of them for his plans. may as well use his bastards for something in his eye#‘’oh but whitewing is cloudtails daughter and hes ashfurs foster brother-‘’ ashfur is already a creep lol#hes closer in age to squilf’s dad than he is to her so would u really put it past him#like the point isnt ‘’awww this ship would be cute’’ its ‘’ashfur is a sleazy asshole lets play with that’’
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
...
#how is it that i can get only like 6hrs of sleep. go for an hr run up a mountain and still b wired#like ??? make it make sense??? im not even a lil tired. im considering going up thr mountain again#how does my body do this? im not even euphoric. i just habe too much energy#i just wanna smash things with a baseball bat. its so weird. i guess its not really an issue. i just dont understand it which bothers me#its either a mood thing or the hyper disorder :-/ but like idk how i havent noticed it before#like have i always been like that? i have evidence going back to 2019 but i didnt actually notice it until the last year for real#...i guess there is maybe a reason i didnt have so much energy before this but ya kno#whatever. i can try to find a therapist in like 10 days or something. so ill try to figure it out lol#idk im just vibing bc im sorta unemployed rn. i mean ive been hired as a TA but dont meet for that until thurs but im not at my research#assistant job anymore as of Friday. so i can do whatever tf i want. except im still working on my data 🙃 bc im fucked up like that#hopefully the energy lasts. or maybe not bc idk how i would fucking sit in an office at a desk like this#jesus. im like: me having adhd is impossible. but also me: having to do 3 things at once to pay attention and fucking dancing while i liste#bc i cant sit still. listen. i wont believe it until someone diagnoses me. but it wouldn't not make sense#ugh. i wanna run up the mountain again. but last time i was running twice a day to get rid of energy i fucked up my leg and its still#fucked up. but like not enough thst it hurts to walk so i still run on it. maybe ill go see a doctor once my new insurance kicks in lmao#oh Jesus my brain. maybe im just happy to havr all my insurance bullshit cleared up. i guess thats a bonus to living in like libertari4n#land. less regulations than my last state in terms of car insurance lmao#or maybe im nervous abt thr start of the semester. its gonna b a fucking wild ride lol#unrelated
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
person al
how do i know if im actually nonbinary or if im just a girl faking it. i dont wanna be a girl sometimes but sometimes i do. sometimes i wanna be feminine. i dont know what nonbinary means. i will not have surgery, passing as a girl is convenient for me sometimes, just like passing is convenient for binary trans people. but it doesnt mean i wanna be a girl or that i enjoy it when its detatched from how much people respect me, i just dont wanna be disrespected sometimes and im not not a girl because what the hell even is nonbinary? but then i feel like a traitor and not a real trans person. i constantly feel like someones about to call me out on faking it. maybe i do fake it a bit and for example use only it/its instead of she/it (my actual preferred pronouns) because i feel like people wouldnt acknowledge it otherwise. i hate it here i hate it everywhere. i just wanna be myself but i dont have the courage to do it because the overlap of people who would support various aspects of me is very small and i have to lie a little bit every time i talk to someone (this also applies to things besides gender..)
but yea im not binary because i never enjoyed being a girl unless it was an opportunity to get praise from people i have to be around. i know this about myself. i dont experiance gender euphoria or dysphoria as far as i know. there are even aspects of my personality that i can make a nonbinary gender label out of, even though they might be fleeting so i usually dont.. but i should. but yeah im nonbinary
#my more defined nonbinary labels are currently a mistery but i used to identify as an artist#even before i gave myself permission to be nonbinary i would think to myself 'im an artist before im a girl'#and then today i posted (and then deleted) 'i identify as an evil monarch/overlord and sometimes a nerd'#i dont know how true is that#i also identify as a robot sometimes but i need to refine it bc i mean a specific way of depicting robots#+how i would affirm being a robot is a slippery slope (me @ myself: 'we are not getting a wrist chip we are not getting body mods')#i get to decide who i am and even if someone doesnt like it they cant stop me... heheheheeeehhehe thats wonderful#and you know what. im gonna go on a leap and say if someone tells me im not a real enby thats transphobic#even if its a fellow trans person. sorry. im serious! that should be my attitude#but im planning ahead for no reason. noone told me that yet lol#well. a person at school scoffed at me when i told it but it believes people are divided into men and non-men so😌idc#+like yeah no matter what bs it spouts its still an expert in its own gender. full respect. but! its not an expert on MY gender
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
hi again been a bit... uhhh why'd I wanna make this again? oh right talking about random shit. I do wanna get back into some things I left off with some friends of mine, but due to being me and it being a very hard existence things didnt go as planned and I kinda dropped it and lost interest.... which really sucks cause I have so many ideas for where I wanted to take my story ( working on a kirby au of sorts havent sorted out through the entire thing cause my brain doesnt wanna work with me :/ ) that I wanted to actually bring into existence instead of it all just being in my head or a rough draft. maybe I can push myself into gaining interest again by actually working on it again. what I had orginally thought up is no longer what I wanna go with so new things are hard to come up with. off topic from that I have so many fucking games I need to get back to and the game list keeps getting bigger and bigger its gonna drown me at some point :( whyyyyy do I keep doing this to myself.... doom I'm dooming myself this is what I'm doing. and cause I'm me I'm def gonna be forgetting that I made this post in the first place! dont you love being this mess of a person? isnt this FUN?!
#astralsys.tx#fronting astral: k#check dni /srs#the answer is no#I hate this so much#every time I think about how my life is goddamn awful I'm just fucking thinking about all the fakers ik in my life#if they fucking saw me and lived this life they would kts#clearly dont understand how this disorder works LOL#you all just think its “mpd” and all fun and dandy dontcha#even the personal fakers ik dont understand how this disorder works either I just wanted to fucking scream at them#and tell them their “case” is not real and they're being fictitious that this is imitative d.i.d. you're doing this on purpose#no you are not a minor discovered “d.i.d. system” who is “fictive heavy” with an obsurd number of “alters / headmates” actually stfu die#I just wanna slap them with sources of researchers of actual fakers and show them make them look in the fucking mirror#THIS IS YOU DO YOU NOT SEE YOURSELF IN THE MIRROR ARE YOU NOT LOOKING AT YOURSELF CLEARLY?!#even if I did that they STILL wouldnt back down and claim to my fucking face that they “suffer” from “d.i.d.”#yeah sure you fucking do with your 73pk+ which most of them are “introject fictives” from either your “HF / SPIN” or new media#and you act like youre rp'ing as them whenever they're brought up in convo and self dx'es with “osdd-1b” 1st and said you've done “research#clearly not good research if you didnt figure out that “osdd1b / osdd1a” are “community terms” and not actual dx'es also claimed self dx'ed#asd adhd anxiety depression & ofc “d.i.d.”. the other 2 are even worse all 3 of them “discovered they were systems” when they were minors#12pk rn but that number kept changing said 51 now 39 30 -> 42 -> 13 -> 12 yeah no way this is fucking real are you fucking kidding me?#all of them but ONE was a non “introject alter” yeah get fucking real buddy not even in active med help and your “member” count went down?#fuck off and then the last one's number keeps rising and rising this is like the worst one thats actually just screaming fake to my face#wow omfg 100pk now it was not like that a couple days ago you have got to be actually kidding me are you seeing yourself like actually rn#and ofc all of them are “introjects” from fucking somewhere and from very recent media too cause ofc it is cant even pretend right can you?#I cant with these fucking people man do you really think you can bullshit me like this to my fucking face with this shit do you honestly#think ANYONE ACTUALLY BELIEVES YOU#ALL THREE OF YOU ARE THE WORST PEOPLE YOU ARE ALL FUCKING DEAD TO ME#ok thats enough ranting out of me I'm just fucking sick of you people#get off the fucking internet#| ✨💫
0 notes
Text
Ooooooghhhhhhhhh stressed 🥺
#dont wanna see family tomorrow and im sleeping saur bad lately i couldnt sleep last night and then had a typical fever dream#which gave me a really cute idea for a movie so im gonna keep it in my pocket#but it was one of those things where its like it says a whole lot about me and my trauma and its stressful#um um um and also im juggling all these different things like im sewing im trying to finally write im trying to draw again#while feeling like im failing at it all and then like i still gotta find fuckinnnnn job i neeeeeed money#this time of year is always really hard for me i hate when its warm again i hate easter and i hate knowing that summer is coming#aaghhhh rn im ticking and stimming really bad and im having trouble breathing hnnghhh#and im very sweaty lol i always get so sweaty when i dont sleep good i dont get it#also i think im just horrible like the one person i wanna talk to probably is getting tired of my constant life crisis and how needy i am#and theyre probably off being better without me there and im just a burden and then my therapist idk about him#i dont feel like hes really giving me anything like when i talk about how stressed and unsafe i am hes like you gotta find a way to cope#and he doesnt really tell me how exactly i should do that like mate thats why im here i need the help you cant just listen to me panic and#go ‘wow you need to fix that’ ughhhh and i think hes mad at me because i dont think he believes me anymore when i say im in an abusive#situation and that ive been controlled my whole life by everyone and i have never felt safe#and its just like ughhh like i feel like no one believes me anymore and theyre all fed up with my bullshit incompetence and constant#bellyaching and im a horrible friend and a liar and probably just being dramatic as fuck making myself believe im being abused when in#reality im the abuser the ungrateful brat who treats his family like shit and cant trust them even though they seem so perfect to everyone#and im so stupid and toxic for trying to run away and for being scared to death here#thats how its feeling anyway idk everyone is just. weird and im losing my grip on reality and cant tell whats real anymore
0 notes
Text
wasn't me no one in this home of mine voted for anything of the sort and most likely anyone I know didn't either. I forget how many ppl live in the uk sometimes peace and love to the william wanters well and truly
#HONESTLY. not suprised though british mothers in their late 30s-40s i see you grandmas i see u the gay men peeping ur head out the corner#i see the princess fantasy it is not without its flowers i see it all and i meet u with acceptance#hes not ugly tho i'm the type where i don't think anyone really is or i haven't had that sort of reaction to anyone so idk though#also tbh idk how many ppl are actually taking those tests.. unless harry styles was on there because the fans the stans will get their favs#the acalades the little titles if they can with speed could be best juggler best dog shit picker upper best at climbing shit they love it#they love it all. their twitter handles at the top that shit gets cropped in obis paint on their iphone and put on twt like a proud parent#(i get it in that sense though its steering off the william topic matter)#with their kids art. was 1ce real in2 kpop and i got out to my benefit lot of shit long story i'm glad i'm in a better place now#since i got into in in probs objectively my darkest or some of my darkest not that u cant like kpop or talk about it or be in that scape#in a way thats positive or like healthy with me it was just not healthy unfortunately. my relationship is better with it now and i still#interact with content personally and more casually. i-#still have alot of love and appreciation for what ppl meant to me even if its different now i still have so much love for shit. just not so#deeply in the environment yk that round and round#standom as previous.. no doubt at the time i was thirsty for distraction i cudnt handle myself or my life basically my#life feeling like a fuckn tornado that was pissing on me so i probably no matter what were going to find vices but i have no doubt about th#talents and passion and artistry over there. all the racism and colourism n shit that just felt constant had a part#my conduction#what i surrounded me with my landscape because its a lot of inter like personal connections and heavy online bonding n just mess where its#like my fckn life force just i was screaming from the inwards outwards and still deaf to it. for me it was a host it turns out 2 be for man#cant track my gradual change really other than a year or maybe between 2 years we grow still thbink about stuff i hate myself for doing#the change happened gradually and naturally i feel though it all had dramatics its hard to track#there was shit before that when i was even younger and oh hellscape i fear it was bumpy i'm not gonna say it got better with age or smth#cause i dont believe thats true atleast not entirely i hate all of it i some of the connections i made are so key in my growth and i have s#nice wonderful like irrefutable memories i hope ppl r doing well so bad so bad some i even want to talk to again but i know for me i cant#give in 2 that pull and the day if i reconnect i will and hopefully there'll be wonderful ppl to reconnect with in that case to meet me#its all ever changing if i think differently in the future i do i just hope that will be me coming to understand myself and development#being hyper critical of myself tho i talk about me like i jumped through hoops to do detestable shit so its a balancing game and im wonky#its the fans the stans or its the royal family entourage they are vivid in my head or the ppl who came across it and decided to just add-#their 2 sence or saw it and were like hehe this is so unserious im going to be mischevious or take the piss lol#all of which get their acknowledgement its all fun and games truly those who take it serious will and shall however
62 notes
·
View notes
Text
Late night tilting in LoL
I still cant believe its canon he plays league of legends solo queue, that's his real villain origin. 😭
#my hero academia#mha#bnha#boku no hero academia#shigaraki#tomura shigaraki#shigaraki tomura#tenko shimura#shimura tenko#my art#artists on tumblr
403 notes
·
View notes
Note
or can u suggest any txt fic here (preferably the long ones w chapters) that u enjoyed?
sorry for the extremely extremely late reply but i’ll list some long fics + txt series’s that ive enjoyed with some comments attached to each one. spoiler alert, a completed txt series is pretty hard to find lol
series
lover = lo$er (sub!gyu, virgin fic)
it would be easy to just straight up recommend every @/wildernessuntothemselves series and i might just succumb to that later on but this is pure submissive beomgyu heaven, served as my first real awakening and i would probably attribute most of my sub gyu writing to this fic alone. 10/10, has a love triangle bit and beomgyus kind of insane
criminal conscience (dom!gyu, crime au)
on the other side of the spectrum, this is pussy clenching dom beomgyu goodness and i dont think it gets better than this. the writing is so compelling it fully immerses you in the narrative, even im getting sucked in to beomgyu’s manipulation (whats new really), blaring red flags and all. its currently on hiatus though but i would catch up either way beomiracles is a pretty consistent writer, she’d probably pick it up sooner or later :)
mosquito (soobin)
sorry this is going to be all over the place lol but this is also still ongoing (its only two parts in) but this writer is absolutely insane. narrative feels fleshed out and though it mainly follows soobin’s perspective and feelings, i am quite enjoying it so far. it has some idol x idol action as well, not the main focus of course but it is written in detail
one way (dom!beomgyu, themes of sadism)
this ones a three parter and its completed. by the same writer mentioned previously (soobrat), very very good storytelling, keeps you on your toes and has a hold on your emotions but like mentioned, it has a bit of an extremity in the smut and it is undeniably toxic but its good
sneaky link (dom yeonjun, the other woman trope)
i havent read this in a while but i remember staying up all night reading all of it lol. i would probably not recommend this to people who really cant read infidelity since thats what the fic is based around but it isnt cast in a very favorable light anyway. really toxic, seriously good
fuck you series (sub gyu, enemies to lovers, band au)
its really cute and the e2l set up is believable enough since theyre band rivals. beomgyu is so so so cute in this even if a little insufferable to mc lol. i would also recommend fairyofshampgyu’s now live series but its currently on an indefinite hiatus (its sooo good as well though so if youre willing, you should check it out)
nabi (best friends to lovers beomgyu, no smut)
two parts in, not completed but im following it currently and god i love them together their dynamic is soooo fun to read, you wont get bored
jerk! (enemies to lovers, beomgyu fic, no smut)
its another band au and its also ongoing. there isnt a consistent update schedule so that might be a minus but the most recent chapter was from a month ago so its safe to say it hasnt been left in the dust (thank god). very very good writing, excited to see how their relationship takes off
bullying choi soobin (sub soobin)
submissive soobin and its good, of course im recommending this. its finished and a 4 parter
sugar (dom!yeonjun, dom!gyu)
unfortunately probably forever incomplete but i love it and i might actually go back to reading it for the third time
let me into your world (non smut beomgyu series)
i havent read a soulmate premise in sooo long so this was refreshing to read, good stuff
supermodel (dom gyu and sub i believe)
its just. Amazing. a two parter but a goodie
the city that never sleeps (bsf smut)
also two parts but both parts are pretty long, really good stuff
ok for the life of me i cannot find this one huening series where he was getting bullied by reader and they were secretly fucking?? that one was literally perfect submissive men shit so if you find it if youve struck gold
long full fics (6k+)
telepathy (fantasy, dom!gyu)
a little out of the box compared to all the fics ive recommended so far and thats what makes it so special and good
duality (dom!kai)
i actually havent read this one yet but i will soon, i just thought id add it here anyway since i know ill love it
killer instinct (taehyun fic)
very plot heavy and it centers taehyun mainly. i could go ahead and cheat and just list out every single koqabear fic lmao but this ones a gem, very happy i set aside the time to read it
the redemption of choi yeonjun (dom!yj)
im not personally a fan of the trope but when it was originally teased the smut sounded heavenly and honestly, it is. such a good dom yeonjun here but beware hes a little (a lot) mean lol. he changes by the end
like cat and mouse! (sub gyu, inexperienced)
again, worth the reading time investment. i love submissive gyu, he is everything here and more
love love love (sub gyu, royal au)
i have probably read this a total of 30 times
i hate you (enemy!beomgyu, dom beomgyu)
ok sorry im cheating here a bit this isnt long but its so good you should check it out anyway
#hopefully this is a weeks worth of reading#i swear ive read more but combing my shit memory with tumblrs shit search function#is not the best#✶ ━━ rana ; answered
213 notes
·
View notes