#i still can't believe they actually set up a second pressing just because the first pressing sold so fast

[green-and-grey]

me in 3 months when my Joywave Cleanse Liquid Soap Filled LP arrives:

[sailor-aviator]

Meet Me at the Sea: Chapter Four

Meet Me at the Sea: Chapter Four

Pairing: Jake "Hangman" Seresin x Reader

Summary: Your best friend, Bob Floyd, had insisted you join him for the summer at his family's home along the Carolina coasts. You had been hesitant at first, but ultimately agreed to his request. Now, here you were in a new town with strange locals who spoke in hushed whispers and cryptic retellings about glistening scales, glowing eyes, and haunting songs that echoed from the sea. You didn't believe them at first, but when you wake up on the beach one morning after having fallen overboard the night before, you can't help but think that maybe you hadn't imagine the strong arms and deep, green eyes of the man that had saved you.

Trigger warnings: Language, talk of courting and mating, FBI, mentions of murder. Think that’s it.

Word Count: 3.87k

A/N: Here is Chapter Four! A whole lot of setting up what's to come, I think, but hopefully y'all still like it! If you're feeling kind/generous, please consider buying me a ko-fi! Also, if you DO NOT fill out the form below (Tag List) then you will not be tagged! I will be referring to that Google form from now on! As always, reblogs, comments and likes are greatly appreciated! Asks/requests are always open! 18+ ONLY!! You can find me on AO3 under sailor_aviator where I also post my updates!

Series Masterlist || Jake "Hangman" Seresin Tag List

“Are you still feeling alright, honey?” Susan asked you, checking you over. You gave her a small smile as she gave you a once over. Her green scrubs contrasted against her blonde hair, and the wrinkles around her eyes were more pronounced as she frowned at you worriedly. “You’re still taking it easy, right? Remember what Dr. Carson said when he checked you out the other day.”

“I’m fine, Susan. I promise,” you reassured the older nurse. She studied you for a second longer before turning to fix her coffee.

“You know, it’s a real shame about that Morris girl,” she continued. “She was always such a sweet girl. Wasn’t she in your class, Bobby?”

“No, she was a year ahead with Reuben, Nat, and Jake,” he muttered through a mouthful of Cheerios.

“That’s right,” she nodded.

Bob swallowed his mouthful and peered up at his mother. “Are you going to tell us what’s been going on?”

“You know,” she sighed exasperatedly, “I could have sworn I had told you. Or at least I would have if you bothered to answer your phone every once in a while.”

“You could tell me now?” Bob said sarcastically. Susan glared over at him.

“Tone, mister,” she warned before letting out another sigh and leaning against the kitchen counter. “I suppose it’s been a little over two months now since they found the first body. Everyone thought it was just an accident since it looked like a drowning. But then a couple of weeks later another body washed up, and then another one a couple weeks after that. They were all young women about the same age, and they all appeared to have drowned. Maverick was worried that there was a serial killer on the loose, so he called in a favor to Tom. You remember Tom, don’t you, sweetie?”

“Yeah, I remember Mr. Kazansky, Mom,” Bob nodded. “He was only the my baseball coach for most of middle school and high school.”

“Such a sweet man,” Susan nodded with a small smile towards you. “We were all sad to see him leave, but when the FBI offers you a job, what person in their right mind says no?”

“So he and that other guy are here because of this serial killer no one told me about?” Bob asked her, eyebrow raised.

Susan scowled at him, but let out a sigh. “Tom and his partner, Agent Simpson, got here about two weeks ago when the last body was found. I was talking to Tom the other day, actually, and he told me that there were signs of a struggle, which is why they got called in.”

“Should he be telling you that?” Bob frowned. She shrugged, sipping from her coffee mug.

“I think they’re holding a press conference today to discuss everything. He wouldn’t have told me if they weren’t already planning on telling everyone, I’m sure.”

“A serial killer,” you hummed, frowning. “That’s really scary, actually.”

“It is,” she agreed, eyeing you. “Which is why I want you to promise me that you won’t go off on your own at night, alright? You should be fine during the day time, especially with the summer crowds, but I want you to make sure you have somebody with you after the sun goes down.”

“I will, Susan,” you smiled.

Bob peered over at you from over his own coffee mug. “I promised Dad that I’d take the boat out with him today. I don’t suppose you wanted to tag along?”

“No,” you told him, shaking your head. “Nat actually texted me last night and asked me if I wanted to go and hang out at the boardwalk today, and I told her that I did. You’ll be okay without me, yeah?”

“‘Course,” he snorted, moving to take his dishes to the sink. “Wouldn’t be the first time you’ve ditched me for other friends.”

“If you’re talking about that time in sophomore year when I went with Abby and Rachel to the football game after you insisted that you would be a fourth wheel even though we all told you that you wouldn’t be, then this is not the same situation at all.”

“I beg to differ,” he laughed, heading for the back door.

“You can beg all you want, but it’s the truth,” you giggled. “Oh, wait!”

You got up from your own chair, moving to follow him.

“I think I left my bag on the boat last night,” you told him. “I’m going to grab it before I head out.”

The two of you walked down the stone path until you reached the small strip of sand that led out onto the dock.

“You know I’m not ditching you, right?” You asked him, suddenly worried that your best friend really did think you were trying to leave him behind. Bob snorted and looked over at you with a quirk of his brow.

“Of course I don’t,” he said, making a beeline for the boat that bobbed up and down with the waves. “I don’t expect you to tag along with me everywhere. I’m actually really happy that you and the gang are getting along so well.”

“Okay,” you trailed off. “Good. Because I really like hanging out with them.”

Bob chuckled as he stepped onto the boat, turning to face you. “I know. Stay right there and I’ll grab your bag, yeah?”

You nodded, turning to watch the waves as he disappeared towards the back of the boat. You glanced down when a shine of light danced in the corner of your eye. Sitting on the wood of the dock was a collection of more shells and pearls, and you immediately crouched down to take a better look at them. A couple of sand dollars were added into the mix this time and even more pearls of various shapes, sizes, and colors were mixed in with the lot. You picked each one up gently, inspecting them. Your favorite was the beautiful black pearl that rested in the center of the grouping. The oily colors on its surface danced as you inspected it, and you felt your skin prickle in delight.

Your gaze shifted to the breathtaking conch shell that rested near the edge, and you gingerly lifted it up to get a better look at it. It truly was a marvelous sight. One of the best specimens you had ever had the privilege of seeing.

“How much crap do you carry in this thing?”

You whirled around to see Bob grimacing as he made his way towards you with your simple hobo bag.

“I carry just what I need in it,” you replied to him, reaching an arm out to take the bag.

“What are you doing crouched over here?” Bob asked you, brow furrowing as he handed it off to you. He stopped short when he saw the collection of ocean treasures at your feet. He inspected them before moving his eyes up to meet yours.

“Look at these!” You grinned, gesturing down at them. “These are more spectacular than the last bunch! Have you ever seen such amazing specimens? And these pearls!”

“Yeah,” Bob said uneasily, eyes shifting to look out at the water. “They’re pretty great.”

You stood up suddenly, turning to fix him with a small glare.

“What is up with you?” You demanded, hands on your hips. “You love things like this! You’re the one person I know who gets more excited about this shit than I do, and you’re over here looking like someone just told you they were planning on kidnapping me. You did the same thing yesterday!”

Bob’s eyes widened at your outburst before melting into a sheepish expression as he looked away. He rubbed his hand on the back of his neck before letting out a sigh, looking back at you with an apologetic smile.

“I’m sorry, y/n,” he sighed. “The shells are great, really. I guess I just have a lot on my mind with the murders and all that.”

You felt a wave of guilt wash over you, replacing the annoyance. Your hands moved to pull him into a hug, one he returned.

“Nothing is going to happen to me, okay?” You told him, squeezing him tight. “I’ll be extra careful to not be by myself at night, so you don’t have to worry about me, yeah?”

Bob didn’t say anything for a moment. He pulled back to look at you, a fond smile on his face as he regarded you.

“I’m always going to worry about you, you know,” he smirked, something serious behind his eyes despite the teasing tone he used. “You’re like the little sister I never had.”

“Bob,” you scoffed, crossing your arms over your chest. “I’m literally three months older than you.”

He grinned at that.

“Semantics.”

The street was busy as people walked back and forth along the boardwalk, taking in the different rides and stalls as the excitement for summer festival began to grow. Several decorations littered the pathways, all of various sea creatures and more than a few mermaids. You watched the different families, friends, and couples run around to the different events, and you let out a sigh as you checked your phone once again.

Sorry, Skip! Mom needed help with some things at the shop so I’m running late. Give me half an hour!

That had been thirty-five minutes ago, and you hadn’t heard anything. Sighing, you wiped the sweat from your brow, deciding to take a break from the overwhelming heat. You spotted a familiar, little shop and began walking towards it.

The bell above the door rang out as you stepped inside, letting out a breath of relief as the cool air washed over you. The shop hadn’t changed much in the days since you had last been in. There were new novelty items scattered about, but for the most part, Mrs. Cambroni’s shop was still quaint and cheesy.

The old woman appeared from the backroom, giving you a warm smile as she gave you a once over. Her eyes landed on your neck, an eyebrow quirking as she took in the raised skin that still shone in the light.

“My, my, dear,” she hummed, leaning against the counter. “What happened there?”

“Oh this?” You asked, resting your hand over the mark. You suppressed a shiver as a oddly pleasant feeling washed over you. “I had a bit of an accident the other day. I fell of a boat and washed up on shore.”

“Oh, how terrible!”

“Yeah, but I’m okay!” You chirped. “The doctor checked me out and said I was fine, just a little bruised. Said I was really lucky that nothing worse happened.”

“I’m sure you were,” she murmured, eyes still locked on your neck.

“But I guess I must have hit my neck pretty good on some rocks because the bump hasn’t gone away and the algae practically looks like it’s a part of my skin now,” you joked. Mrs. Cambroni blinked at you.

“The…algae?” She asked. You nodded, and she threw her head back in a fit of laughter. You stared at her in confusion until she calmed down, wiping a tear from the corner of her eye.

“I’m sorry, dear. I don’t mean to laugh,” she said through bouts of giggles. “What brings you by my little shop?”

“Oh!” You cried, moving closer to the counter. “Nothing really, I was just waiting for a friend, but she’s running late. So, I thought I’d pop back in and say hi after I got dragged out of here the other day.”

Mrs. Cambroni gave another hum, a knowing look on her face. She took a sip from the cup of tea she held in her hands.

“Have you found any interesting seashells along the beach since I last saw you?”

“Actually, yes!” You smiled, digging through your bag to pull out the collection you were beginning to compile. “I found these over the last couple of days. It’s strange though, none of these were on the beach. I found a pile of them on our boat and then another pile on the dock this morning. My friend said it must have been the current-”

Mrs. Cambroni’s eyes widened as she coughed up her tea, nearly choking on it as she fought to regain control over her breathing. You reached out a hand to soothe her, and she gave you a grateful smile.

“The current, you say?” She said, barely hiding her amusement. You nodded self consciously, and the old woman shook her head with a chuckle.

“Seems to me like you’ve caught the eye of a sea person, my dear.”

Now it was your turn for your eyes to widen. “What?”

“I’m surprised no one’s told you yet,” she mused, setting her cup down and examining the shells and pearls. “It’s part of the courting rituals for their kind, after all. Just like that intention bite on your neck.”

Your blood ran cold, recalling how your first reaction to the raised skin was that it looked like a bite mark.

“But it’s not-”

“Oh, but it is, dear child,” she smiled, no hint of malice to it, just understanding. “I’m not sure why no one is telling you the truth. Perhaps it’s because you aren’t a local, and they don’t know if you can be fully trusted yet. Or perhaps it’s because you were chosen in a moment of frenzy. Choice is such an important piece of the courting ritual, after all.”

“Is that why you’re telling me all of this?” You asked her, brow quirked. “Because you think I should have a choice?”

“Precisely. How can you make an informed decision without all of the pieces?”

“Alright, then,” You started, deciding to amuse the woman before you, “what is it you can tell me?”

“What is it you want to know?”

“Tell me more about the courting rituals. What are they? What does it entail?”

“Well,” she smiled, “that certainly is an interesting first question. It’s simple really. It starts with the bite mark on your neck. What you have right now is called an intention bite. This bite is to let other sea people know that you have been marked as the intended mate for someone. As long as that bite remains on your neck, every sea person who lays eyes on it will know that you are spoken for. If that wasn’t enough of a hint, it changes your scent as well.”

“Are you saying that I smell different?”

“Oh, yes,” she nodded. “But not in an unpleasant way, dear. And as long as that’s the only bite mark that remains on your neck, it’ll fade after a few months along with it. The intention mark is only meant to be a placeholder for the permanent mark.”

“And what is that?” You asked her. Mrs. Cambroni turned her serious gaze to your face.

“That would be the mating mark.”

“And what does that one do?” You murmured, voice barely above a whisper. You weren’t sure why you were entertaining this conversation, to be honest. Maybe it was your longstanding fascination with mermaids that kept you rooted there, listening intently. Or maybe it was because a part of you, one that you were trying your best not to acknowledge in that moment, believed her.

Before Mrs. Cambroni could respond, the bell above the door chimed again, and you both turned to see Nat red faced and out of breath as she looked at you.

“There you are!” She smiled, relaxing as she let out a sigh of relief. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you!”

“Sorry!” You exclaimed, gathering your seashells and giving Mrs. Cambroni an apologetic smile. “I was getting really hot and I thought I’d stop in here for a few minutes.”

“No, I’m sorry,” Nat said, watching the older woman with a suspicious frown. “I lost track of the time after I texted you.”

You waved to the shop owner as you followed Nat out the door, the sun bathing you in its warm rays. You peered over at your friend, a mischievous smirk on your face as your eyes lowered to her neck.

“Wouldn’t happen to have anything to do with that huge hickey on your neck, right?”

Nat’s hand flew up to her neck, cheeks flushing as she tried to splutter out an excuse.

“So,” you chirped as your friend continued to recover her speech. “Which of the boys is it?”

“What makes you so sure it was one of them?” She muttered, the red on her cheeks growing more pronounced.

You ignored her. “My money is on Javy.”

“How did you know?” She shrieked, earning a couple of stares from passersby. You laughed at her expression.

“I didn’t until just now.”

Nat let out a long groan, hiding her face in her hands. You rested a hand on her shoulder to try and comfort her.

“Hey, it’s okay,” you said. “I think the two of you are really cute, and I don’t think the others have figured it out yet. I just see the way you two look at each other when you think no one else is. I wish someone would look at me like that.”

Natasha peeked out from behind her fingers, an oddly thoughtful look on her face as she studied you. Before you could ask, she was straightening up, a smile replacing her embarrassment.

“Do you think you could hold off on saying anything?” She asked you. You nodded, holding out your pinky to her. She wrapped her own around it, and the two of you shook on it.

“Scout’s honor, Nat!”

“Good!” She giggled, peering around the boardwalk. “What do you want to hit first?”

After Nat convinced you to take a ride on the tilt-o-whirl, you were sure you’d never walk straight again. You groaned as you fought to stay upright, nearly crashing into a man as you passed him. Your shoulder bumped his, and you turned around to look at him.

“I am so sorry!” You cried, hands reaching out to steady him, but stopping when you noticed that he was just fine. And staring at you. You gave him a sheepish smile, but the look on his face remained impassive. If the world wasn’t still spinning around you, you might have said that the green in his eyes glowed in the summer light. Natasha laughed beside you, throwing out another apology to the man as she dragged you off.

“Never again, Nat,” you said, suddenly feeling nauseous.

“I’m surprised you managed to make it without hurling!” She cackled, leaning you against the wood railing so you could catch your breath.

“I wouldn’t be too sure about that,” you muttered, leaning over the side.

“Natasha!”

The both of you turned to see the weathered face of the FBI agent and his partner strolling up to you.

“Oh! Hey, Mr. Kazansky!” She called out with a wave. You turned to face them just as they stopped in front of you.

“C’mon now, Nat. It’s Tom, you know that,” the older man chuckled, eyes moving to you. “And who is this?”

“Y/n,” you introduced yourself, reaching out a hand to shake his. “But everyone just calls me Skipper these days.”

“Ah! You must be the young lady Susan was telling me about the other day,” Tom smiled. “It’s good to finally put a face to a name. This is my partner, Agent Beau Simpson.”

“A pleasure,” the other man said as he shook both of your hands.

“So are you two enjoying the festival so far?” Tom asked, smile still on his face. “This small town isn’t too boring for you, is it, Skipper?”

“Not at all!” You assured him, shaking your head. “I think it’s quite a charming little place! And everyone has been so nice since I got here.”

“That’s good to hear,” he chuckled, eyes falling to your neck. “Where’s the lucky boy?”

You gave him a confused look, and Nat cleared her throat, stepping up.

“It’s so embarrassing,” she started, giving Tom a pointed look. “Javy and I have been seeing each other on the sly for a while now, and I didn’t even think he left a mark. I’ll have to tell him to be more careful next time.”

Tom glanced between the two of you, understanding dawning on his face. He gave another smile.

“Young love is such a wonderful thing, don’t you agree Beau?” He asked his partner, who just smiled in agreement. “Don’t keep it a secret for too long, Nat.”

“Of course,” she smiled.

“You two are being careful, aren’t you?” Asked Agent Simpson. Nat’s face could have been mistaken for a tomato from how hard she was blushing. Agent Simpson seemed to have realized what he said and a blush of his own crept onto his face.

“With the murders, I mean,” he explained quickly. Tom let out a chuckle as Nat cleared her throat. “We just got done giving a press conference. No curfew yet, but we’re advising young ladies to not be out at night on their own until we can find whoever is doing this.”

“Oh, of course!” You said, nodding your head in understanding. “We’re being careful! It’s such a shame what happened.”

“You two were there, weren’t you?” Tom asked.

“Yeah, we were,” you trailed off, feeling the nausea return at the memory of the girl’s body as it lay in the sand. You suppressed a shudder. “It was awful.”

“It was,” Beau agreed, giving you a sympathetic smile. “Which is why we don’t want to see anything happen to anyone else.”

“You don’t have to worry about us,” Nat said, a determined smile on her face as she looked at the two older men. Tom chuckled, eyes moving from her to you, still studying the mark on your neck.

“No,” he said finally. “I don’t suppose we will.”

You couldn’t help but think back to your conversation with Mrs. Cambroni.

As long as that bite remains on your neck, every sea person who lays eyes on it will know that you are spoken for.

“Well,” Tom started, eyes looking over your shoulder now, “you two ladies have fun! We won’t keep you any longer.”

He made to move, and Agent Simpson made to follow after him. The dark haired man stopped just after he passed you.

“Oh,” he said, “And don’t hesitate to let us know if you see anything suspicious, yeah?”

“We will!” Nat called after him as she started dragging you in the opposite direction. The whole exchange felt weird to you. Why had Tom asked Nat about who the lucky man was when he was looking at your neck? Why did he keep starting at it at all? What had he meant by not having to worry?

You took a deep breath, deciding that you were overthinking the matter and that Mrs. Cambroni’s stories had just gotten in your head. But even as you had made your mind up to ignore your questions, you couldn’t help but feel a pulse come from the base of your neck as if it were begging you to keep questioning.

Tag List: @jakeseresinlover @haley-hotchner @queerqueenlynn @dempy @fanficfandomlove @aworldwideapart @stoptaking-the-good-names @maximus890 @sky2nd @devil-angel-winchester @hopip99 @hookslove1592 @lemmons1998 @yuckosworld @uniquedreamlandcheesecake @imamomof8 @pietrothemovie @kmc1989 @mayhemmanaged @imnotcreativeenoughforthisblog @deliriousfangirl61 @hangmandruigandmav @na-ta-sh-aa @witchybabel @keyrani @i-wanna-be-your-muse @buckysteveloki-me @clancycucumber230 @dreamlandcreations @emotionallysalty @fandom-life-12 @a-girl-who-loves-disney @nouis-bum @topherwrites @squeaky-bumblbee22 @crybaby-21 @goldenseresinretriever @bobgasm @linkpk88 @number-0-iz @xl-pr @stillreadingfantasy

[babybluebex]

my latest dom “fantasy,” whatever you wanna call it, has been ur the actor who plays niece elise in the holdovers and you two like each other when filming but since your part is small you don’t see each other till a streaming of the movie when you reconnect. 🤗

oh my god stop the presses this is CUTE

you're kinda joking together and laughing inbetween takes, but you're both nervous because you have to kiss and neither of you have ever done that before (kissed other people, yes, but on screen, for the whole world to see, never) but dom's a sweetheart and you do the scene and it goes off without a hitch, and you're maybe a little disappointed when alexander payne says they got the shot they needed and that you don't need to do it again

and like yeah, you're only on set for like 1 day, and you managed to follow dom on instagram but like sorta forgot about him inbetween filming and release time?? like you both got busy and just, whatever, but then the movie comes out and at first seems like it's just gonna be any other movie, you still post pictures from set on your instagram and celebrate it, and, for the first time since meeting him, dom comments on your post "so much fun, if you're ever around my way, text me" and you're like ⁉️

and you shoot off a dm at him, sorta like "hey i was finally able to watch the whole movie and you did really good" and he texts back like "aw thanks, that's really sweet" and you ask "back then, you lived in massachusetts, where are you now?" and he says "i'm in philly right now for school, but i'm taking spring semester off, so i'll probably go back to jersey with my mom"

and you start talking like every day then, now that the door is open you can't stop, he's always sending you memes and telling stories, and you send him memes about HIM as you watch him become the new it boy (and maybe you're a little jealous bc he was YOUR boy first, he was YOUR little secret, but not so much anymore), and THEN the movie starts to get acclaim?? and it looks like it might be something more than some movie you made a few years ago for a single day?? it's turning into something bigger than that?? all your friends at uni knew that you were in the movie and had gone and seen it and teased you about the kiss, but now you're getting stopped by strangers on the way to lecture and asked about the movie?? like wtf!!

and you and dom are steady texting every day like "DUDE" "DUDE I KNOW", and it starts getting awards buzz, all the best actor and best supporting actress and breakthrough actor and everything is WILD, and you're always texting him to congratulate him winning this award or that award, and you slowly start to realize. oh shit i have a crush on him. oh fuck i'm whipped for this guy.

and the day the oscars nominees are announced, you're in lecture, and your phone starts ringing and yelling at you, and your lecturer is like "do you need to take that?" and you sorta laugh "no, whatever it is, it can wait..." and you finally dig your phone out of your bag and see it's dom wanting to video call?? which doesn't happen often, for as famous of an actor as he is now, he hates seeing himself on camera and even if you do video call, his camera is off most the time, so for HIM to initiate a video call is VERY bizarre "... actually, sir, i do need to take this, i'm sorry"

and you go in the hall and answer the call, and dom is yknow DOM, messy frizzy hair and his shirt on backwards and he's frantic, and you're like "did you just wake up, what's going on??" and he says "have you seen yet?!" "seen what??" "jesus christ, i can't fucking believe this—" "dominic, what's going on?" "holdovers has been nominated for best picture at the oscars"

and you black out for a second and snap back in and you're like "we're WHAT"

and dom says "what're you doing on march 10th?? can you come to the oscars?? do you even want to??" "yeah i'd love to, but i-i need to get to LA, and i need a dress, and i need a date—" "how about me? i'll take you"

and when you reunite in los angeles for the oscars, it's the first time you've seen him in the flesh in like nearly 2 years, but you run to him and hug him, and he hugs you back, and it's such a happy moment and you can't believe that this is your life

and all night, people are complimenting your dress and your hair and makeup, and dom won't stop trying to get people to pay attention to you, he's in a little interview on the carpet and he's asked who his date is, and he grabs you by the hips "my wonderful costar, she played elise in the movie" and everybody has the same reaction, they hear your character's name and then stare at you for a second until it clicks "oh! you did so good in the movie!!"

and dom is so nervous and anxious all night, he sorta joked "i know we won't win, there's no shot in hell, oppenheimer's gonna win, so why am i nervous??" and you hold his shaking hands in yours and try to calm him as much as possible, but cameras catch you holding hands and the way he whispers in your ear to talk to you, and like HALFWAY through the show, your friends sends you a link to a variety article that mentions the best dressed at the awards, and dom is on there, and the little text blurb under his picture says "sessa is attending the show with his girlfriend and costar" and your friend is like "GIRLFRIEND??" and you're like "wait" and apparently everybody online has mistaken your physical closeness for a relationship, and you show dom during a commercial break just to be like "oh haha look at this, they think we're dating"

and he hits you with the "are we not?" "what do you mean 'are we not'?" "i mean, i thought... i thought we've been dating for a while. i've been telling people all night that you're my girl" and you shiver with delight at how casually he says his girl, but like "you thought... well, when would we have started dating?" "you remember a few months ago, the conversation we had about how, like, i'm bad at relationships and you don't like commitment, and i said i'd try to be better and you said you'd try to commit to someone? i thought that was us agreeing to start dating"

and like shit yeah you DO remember that conversation, it was like 3am and you were on facetime for HOURS that night and you're like "oh! well... yeah, that can be it." and dom's like "sooo.... does that mean i can kiss you?" and it's a gentle, soft kiss, just like your first one so long ago

and that night, you reunite with paul and da'vine (who you had met in passing on set), and towards the end of the night, da'vine sends you a photo she took on her phone of you and dom, holding each other, foreheads touching, giggling together, and you hard launch your shit on instagram with that picture "we may not have won best picture, but i won best boyfriend <3"

[armpirate]

Anti-romantic || JJk | Ch. 32

Pairings: Boxer!Jungkook x fem!reader || Enemies to lovers, neighbors

Genre: smut, angst, fluff, curse, illegal boxing, violence

Warnings: fuckboy!Jungkook x reader, smut, dirty talk, curse, mention of tarot and fate

Summary: Jungkook had always been carefree when it came to love. He always believed he was worth sharing himself with everyone, and thought it was selfish of him to ever think of keeping himself exclusive to just one person.

And maybe that was exactly what got him into the big problem he was in.

A curse that kept him away from love didn't seem an issue for him. The fact that his ex-girlfriend thought he'd be affected by the idea of the girls he slept with running away from him after sex was ridiculous. She actually did him a favor, and took a burden away from him.

At least that was what he thought at first.

He had never found himself thinking of the possibility of repeating with neither of his hook ups, because they disappeared before he was able to even think about it. But when he makes the mistake of sleeping with the sexy neighbor that lives in front of him, he finds himself hoping to get the chance for a second round every time their paths cross.

Y/n hated him the second he set foot inside the building by the way he started making her life a miserable mess for no reason. Sleeping with him was a big mistake she wasn't thinking of repeating. At least not until he came up with the excuse that she rejected him for a curse. Not only she thought he was annoying, but she was also convinced he was crazy. 

There was no way she could take him seriously.

Aprox. time of reading: 16 minutes

Previous || Next

MASTERLIST

Chapter warnings: smut, explicit language, dirty talk, oral sex (female and male receiving), titjob, protected sex

The wind whipped through their hair as Jungkook and Y/n sped down the dark streets on his motorbike, the city lights flashing by in a blur. They had left the wedding in a whirlwind of laughter, the joy of the night still buzzing in their veins. Y/n held onto Jungkook, her laughter vibrating against his back as they joked about the awkward dance moves they'd witnessed and the overly enthusiastic drunk uncle who had insisted on sharing his life story, just like the bar moment also turning into another story to laugh at.

As they pulled up to their apartment building, the laughter continued. They bantered back and forth, replaying the most ridiculous moments of the evening.

—I still can't believe you actually caught the bouquet —Jungkook teased as they climbed off the bike, his eyes sparkling with amusement—. See how the universe is speaking to you?

—Thank god I'm not so witted to catch those signs —Y/n shot back, grinning as she pulled the helmet off her head, letting her hair tumble down.

—I was going to say you aren't dimwitted, but you're rejecting me, so... nevermind —Jungkook chuckled, running a hand through his own hair, which was a mess after the ride.

—Also, if that was a sign from the universe, it has a really good sense of humor —she continued, rolling her eyes playfully.

—The universe is sending you a boxer with a motorbike, and plenty of bad jokes. Why'd you take it as a joke? —Jungkook shook his head, taking that conversation a little bit too seriously as they entered the lift and pressed the button for their floor.

—The same guy who needed a curse to get his eyes on me? —her eyebrow arched with the sneaky question.

—3A, my eyes would've been on you, curse or not.

They shared a look, the kind of look that held more than just teasing, but before either of them could delve into it, the elevator doors opened with a soft ding. They stepped out, still grinning and jostling each other as they walked down the hallway.

But as they rounded the corner toward Y/n's apartment, her steps faltered. Jungkook noticed immediately, his smile fading when he saw what she was looking at.

Y/n's apartment door was ajar, the wood splintered around the lock as if someone had forced their way in. The door hung slightly off its hinges, creaking ominously as it swayed.

—Wh...? —Y/n whispered, her heart dropping into her stomach.

She instinctively reached out to push the door open further, but Jungkook grabbed her arm, stopping her.

—Wait —he said, his voice low and serious, all traces of their earlier lightheartedness gone.

He stepped in front of her, cautiously pushing the door open with his foot. If someone was still there, he wanted to be the first one to confront them.

The sigh behind him was loud, with the air escaping her lungs but still, somehow, ending up stuck in her throat. Her apartment was a disaster. Furniture overturned, drawers pulled out and emptied onto the floor, broken glass scattered across the hardwood. It was as if a tornado had ripped through the space, leaving chaos in its wake.

Jungkook's eyes scanned the room, his expression darkening as he took in the extent of the damage.

—Stay here —he instructed, his voice tense.

He stepped inside, ready to throw hands at whoever had attempted to break into her place and touch any of her things without her consent. Only to realize it was something deeper and more dangerous than a mere theft, aware of it as soon as he stepped inside her room.

It isn't so funny when others dig in your business, right?

The words were painted across the closet in front of the door, red paint and capital letters. It couldn't be more obvious who that was coming from.

His fist moved up instinctively when he felt something touch his back, relaxing when noticing Y/n's scared eyes looking at him from up close.

—I told you to stay back —he sighed—. Go back to the living room, there's nothing here.

But while Jungkook tried to push her back, she managed to see the red letters over his shoulder, a cold shiver running down her spine when she was able to read the whole sentence.

Y/n swallowed hard, unable to tear her eyes away from the warning. Her closet had been left untouched in terms of the mess, as if whoever did this wanted her to see this specifically. The message was clear -they knew she was getting close to something, and they wanted her to back off.

It was the first time in those two months Jungkook saw her in such shock, shaky hands letting go of him, while her eyes were kept widely open without moving away from the warning.

—Let's get out of here. You aren't staying here tonight —he assured her, softly pushing her away.

As they stepped back into the hallway, Y/n glanced back at the wreckage of her apartment, a chill running down her spine. The reality of the situation was sinking in fast, but she knew one thing for certain -whoever had done this wasn't going to scare her off.

Jungkook gently squeezed her hand as they made their way back to his apartment. Despite the fear gnawing at her, Y/n couldn't help but feel a small sense of comfort. Whatever came next, she wasn't facing it alone.

Her thumbs pushed against one another, pulse still racing up while sitting down in his couch, with her sight being overshadowed by the glass of water he placed in front of her. He sat next to her, unsure of what to do or say, because he knew nothing would change how scared to death she was.

—They want me to stop —she whispered.

—They're trying to scare you —Jungkook assured her—. I know who's behind this. I've seen these antics several times. It's their way of warning you before things get worse. Why don't you just give it up?

—I can't —she whined—. It's the first time in years I'm finally seeing some light. I can't do this to Noah —her head slowly shook while looking down.

An urge to protect her suddenly fell over him, invading each one of his thoughts while he looked at her. But, at the same time, he knew the relief, the feeling of closure, how much she craved them to be able to move on, and he just couldn't look away from it.

—Then I guess you know things will get tougher —he mentioned, trying to wash off the concern in his face to bring back the confident facade that made her feel at ease—. And I guess this is the moment you realize you need me more than ever.

—You'll help me?

—I have nothing to lose —he shrugged—, and that's my habitat. You won't be able to do anything without me. And also, they'll have to walk over me first to get to you.

As he pronounced those last words, his bratty expression slowly turned into a serious one without him noticing, eyes piercing through hers to make sure she understood how serious he was about his words.

But her mind had left behind the worry out of nowhere, only being able to focus on him, and how shiny his lip rings looked under the warm lights of his living room, in full contrast with his soft pink lips.

—What's that look? —his face moved back a little to be able to look at her face— Do you want to kiss me?

—Do you always have to speak so much?

The scoff was followed by a new advance that he didn't interrupt, feeling how his body turned warmer when her mouth covered his in a gentle kiss where their lips merely touched. The first brush of lips was tentative, almost as if asking for permission from each other, just to realize it was something they both had been dying to do.

The kiss deepened, becoming more urgent, more desperate as their hands began to explore, memorize, and claim. Tongues pushing against one another, while their hands ran over their bodies like it was an unconquered space they needed to own. It was like they had no control over themselves, the kiss was what dictated their next move.

His tattooed fingers ventured down the skirt of her dress, feeling like melting when he realized how soft her skin felt under his touch, and almost losing his sanity when he thought how soft she'd feel around his hips every time he pounded into her.

His touch was an invitation that Y/n took nothing to understand, moving over him to straddle his lap, not thinking a single time of breaking off the kiss. Jungkook's hands moved up her skirt again, tracing the curve of her ass, moving past the fabric to reach the zip on her back.

—Have I ever told you how good purple looks on you? —he smirked, teasing the sensitive skin on the back of her arms to reach the thin straps.

Before he could move them down, Y/n stood in the middle of his parted legs, slipping down her dress with such grace that Jungkook was thankful he wasn't standing. The fabric moved down her curves, exposing each centimeter of skin, while she was left only with white lace panties.

—Shit, you're going to look so beautiful in our wedding.

Y/n pushed him back to the backrest when he attempted to reach for her, being the one bending over him to kiss him again.

—Jungkook, don't you ever shut up?

—And not let the woman of my dreams know what I think? That's selfish.

—Fine. I'll have to find a way to shut you up.

At that point, Jungkook was expecting anything. Another kiss, maybe even another kiss, but not her sinking to her knees in front of him.

She was right: she found the way to get words stuck in his throat.

The way her smirk expanded when she was aware of how nervous he looked only worked to feel him tightening against his boxers. She could feel the way his muscles tensed as she moved her hands up his thighs, dangerously close to the bulge that was forming.

—Cat got your tongue? —she teased, unzipping his pants.

—If I say all the things going through my head right now...

His body squirmed, interrupting his sentence again when he felt the humidity of her tongue tracing his length over the black fabric.

—I don't think it's a good idea to suck me off.

—Well, if you cum —she started, moving down his boxers—, I might have to get you hard again.

Her tongue's first contact with the tip almost had his toes curling. It was a reaction he had never had before, and it only made sense for it to happen with Y/n. The licks started in circles, taking a taste of the sensitive spot before her eyes darted up to him when she started closing her lips around it, moving down to show off the bulge on her cheek, which she slowly gulped down until half of his dick was inside.

Jungkook was unable to hold eye contact, with his head falling back with a heavy sigh. Too lost already on the feeling to add something else to destroy him. The feeling of her mouth was warm and wet, tongue strategically moving down her lips to lick at the same time she sucked up and down slowly. And he also concentrated on the sounds, on every bit of air she took whenever she got the chance, on every wet sound coming from the spit in her mouth, which was slowly coating his dick, and every damned hum she made, making sure he knew how much she liked it.

—Babe, if you keep using your mouth, it'll be over faster than it started.

Her lips were parted when she moved away from him, eyes barely open while she cleaned off the drop of saliva running down her chin.

—I won't use my mouth, then.

Jungkook thought that was the moment she'd move up his lap to ride him, but he should've known better than to think he'd know her next step.

She moved her breasts over his length, at first brushing her skin against his, before she placed both of her hands on each tit, wrapping his dick between them. The movements were slow and relaxing, in wide circles, but she didn't take long to start moving up and down.

And whenever she thought she couldn't get encouraged to take the next step, Jungkook showed up hotter than before. There was something about that night, the words he said, the way he looked at her and the suit he was wearing that just made it click for her.

—You're looking pic worthy right now —he assured her with a raspy voice, thumb moving over her lower lip before she moved her head to trap it in her mouth—. Shit, who am I kidding? Not even a pic would be able to capture this. Fucking god. That's it, let me get a condom.

—No, I'll get one —she stopped him.

It was faster for her to look through her purse than letting him go to his room to find one.

As Y/n bent over the coffee table to reach the small bag, Jungkook thought it was too harsh to just stay still. His face sank in her buttcheeks, almost making her lose her balance when his tongue teased her entrance over the fabric. Her knees went weak, almost betraying her, when he moved the panties aside to be able to taste her, sinking his mouth on her folds so his tongue would be able to move around her entrance.

—Two can play this game, bunny —he hummed against her core, lips coated in her arousal before he licked himself clean.

His hand was firm on her belly, holding her when she was about to trip when two of his fingers digged inside her humid channel.

—Open it and hand me the condom —his other hand reached for hers on her side, grabbing the package carefully.

His breath was heavy when his fingers moved down to the base, wrapping himself with the latex while two of his fingers stretched her out, making him wish it was him doing it.

—Let me ride you —she asked with a weak voice.

There was no point in him fighting her command, she moved away, slipping his fingers out, before he could even open his mouth to complain.

—I need your cock —she said under her breath, straddling his lap again.

—You need me?

Y/n was too focused on moving her hips down, feeling the way the tip of his dick pressed against her entrance before it stretched her out until both of their hips met. Only then she was aware of the smirk and the cocky tone in that sentence, matching him by doubling down his smirk, tilting her head while she looked at him.

—You're going to use this against me, aren't you?

—I might —his hips thrusted up, making her gasp when their hips collided once again as she moved down— frame it somewhere.

Her lips collided against his as her hips started a hypnotic movement, curving her hips as she hopped on him. One hand on the wall to keep her balance, another one on his neck so he wouldn't move away and break the kiss, and he loved seeing her having everything under control.

But it wasn't enough, because Jungkook broke the kiss, pushing her a bit higher, bulking his hips against her with steady, yet slow and deep, thrusts. The hand on his neck fell to his shoulder, while some weak moans just sounded louder when his lips started kissing her side, moving up to her breast and getting dangerously close to her nipple.

—Move over the armrest.

It was like in that moment there was no point of thinking by herself, quickly moving to his orders, belly over the right armrest, while her ass was up in the air. Too tempting for him not to get a taste of her again.

Her eyelids fell closed when his tip pressed against her core again, digging deeper with one thrust.

He was a tease, but she was one bigger tease. Her eyes hunted over her shoulder, looking at him before she started moving back and forward around his dick, letting him enjoy of the way he kept disappearing inside of her, only worrying about cupping her ass, squeezing her cheek with his right hand before he traced a small line down her arched spine, reaching her nape.

Succumbing to him, after he made such a small gesture as closing his fingers around the back of her neck, while he bent her body forward until her torso was pressed against the furniture, was one of the best feelings, knowing it'd only lead to an unforgettable experience.

Her body bounced when he pounded into her with a harsh move, followed by another one, and another one, slowly increasing the speed of his hips until the constant clapping of their bodies filled the room, his groans and her moans creating a perfect synergy that only added more to their hunger.

—Huh, you're not so considerate to neighbors anymore —he groaned, four fingers holding tight on some locks of hair, while his thumb caressed the spot behind her ear—. Look at you being so loud while I pump into you.

Those words only worked to turn her on even more, making her aware of the lengths she always went when it came to Jungkook. She didn't know what he had, what was so special about him, but she folded whenever he tried enough. And she was starting to think there was no reason to keep fighting it anymore.

Her face was hiding in between her arms, belly over his mattress, while she tried to recover some air back. Her legs were sore, her throat was hurting, yet it was worth every second of it.

Jungkook stood at the door frame to his room for so long he lost count of it, finding himself smiling when he noticed the way her left foot rested over the right one, slightly curving when she found the right position a few seconds ago. His head was tilted when he pointed out the dimples on her spine. He had never found himself so mesmerized by someone else's body.

She was indeed perfect from every angle.

Her body squirmed when his fingers traced an invisible line from one mole on her side to another on her shoulder, ending up moving his fingers over the curve of her shoulder to get her attention.

—I brought you some water —he whispered, raising the glass on his other hand, as if the eyes on her nape would see it.

—Maybe a new pair of legs would be better —she mumbled, voice muffling against the sheets.

—Do you want a massage? —he sat next to her— I'm really good with those.

With that suggestion, her eyes peeked over her upper arm with a curious and smiley look, before she shook her head and clicked her tongue, forcing herself to roll over her body and rest her weight on her elbows.

—Some rest will make it —she smiled, pressing her lips against one another—. I know where that massage will take us and nope. Sorry, but I have to decline.

—Hmm okay. Will save it for the next time.

—Who said there will be a next time? —her eyebrows furrowed when he moved over her to lie at her right.

—Watch —he assured her, nodding while he rested his head on the pillow—. I'll make you never want to move away from me, just the same way I don't want you to move away a single millimeter right now.

Every possibility of teasing was erased by his expression, leaving aside his cocky nature just so Y/n would understand the seriousness in his words. She finally laid on her back next to him, staring at the ceiling.

—How will you do that with that, supposed, curse going on?

—I'll work against the curse —his eyes moved slowly on hers—. That's how bad I want you.

—That sounds like something that would be said in one of the teenage movies in 2012 —she whispered, getting closer to him.

—Y/n... I can't... —his overacted words, imitating any of the acting in those movies had her giggling—. I know you want to give me a chance —he went back to his normal tone—. How long do I have to crawl for you to take me in?

—Just a little bit more.

—Will you spend the night here?

—Do you want me to spend the night here?

—Isn't it obvious? —he scoffed— Feel lucky if you don't wake up tied to the headboard.

—That's... actually... making me think twice whether to stay or not —she hesitated.

—You can't walk. Your legs are hurting.

No reaction was allowed from her when his arms were already wrapped around her body to glue her to him, hiding his face in the curve of her neck while he felt the vibrations running through her as she giggled.

They stayed like that for a few minutes, in silence after he turned off the lights, until his brain went back an hour and a half ago, remembering something he had said.

—Bunny, of course —he clicked his tongue—. How did I not think of that nickname that night?

—What night?

—The night you tried to make me jealous while jumping on your bed.

—Oh, fuck off. I can't believe you're thinking of that now.

Jungkook held tighter to her the more she pushed to move away, making it impossible to keep a safe distance.

—I did get jealous though —he admitted in between her huffs—. Honestly, I was thinking of, at least, five ways to get that asshole to run away.

—Five ways, huh?

—I won't tell them —he quickly answered when he felt her eyes on him— I'm not giving you ideas.

Y/n didn't move when he took advantage of her position to slide his arm under her neck, she didn't complain when he squeezed his cheek against her head. She liked the rhythm of his heart against her back, she liked the way Jungkook felt skin to skin. She liked the feeling of reassurance he gave her with small gestures.

Did she... like Jungkook?

Taglist: @jk97bam @ttanniett

[dawndelion-winery]

I Like You! (Not)

Alhaitham × GN! Reader

College au! Academic Rivals to Lovers!

[5] - I Never Meant It!

So, Alhaitham seemed to be un-ickable once he set his mind - or heart - on you. You swore you tried everything: invading his personal space, stealing his food, pestering him to buy you things, etc. Somehow, nothing worked. Horrible, really. You'd never known his patience to be this boundless; it typically didn't take this much effort, if any at all, to bother him.

"Alhaitham, I'm cold," you complained as you tugged on the sleeve of his jacket.

"It's an air-conditioned lecture hall on a rainy day, which is why I told you to bring a jacket," he retorted.

"Yeah, but I didn't, and now I'm cold."

You were certain his eye twitched. Excellent. Until then he just sighed wistfully.

"What am I going to do with you, hmm?" he murmured as he pressed a kiss to your forehead. "My stubborn, spiteful darling."

If he noticed the way you blanched at his actions, he made no indication of it, merely scooting closer to you to bundle you in his jacket and embrace. "I don't suppose I need to make a habit of using oversized coats out to share with you?"

"I'm not cold anymore," you muttered as you tried to scoot away.

"Stay, it's comfortable like this."

His voice was soft. So were his eyes. Now that you thought of it, they had been for quite some time already. When was the last time you'd seen his cold, judgemental gaze? Moreover, when was that scornful stare last directed at you?

And so you stayed. Not knowing why or when everything seemed to have changed. Wondering just how much you ever actually knew about the man beside you, who so adoringly held you close to him.

The thought plagued you till the end of the lecture, and sitting beside him in the library for the nth time that month.

"Alhaitham?" You piped up.

Silence. A warm hand cradling your head, urging you to lean on him.

"Alhaitham. I hate you."

Another brief silence, and a barely audible "I know." It was neither upset nor offended, neither angry nor frustrated. Just a calm, factual, perhaps ever so melancholic "I know".

He knew? And he still acted this way?

"I also know you don't mean it."

"Alhaitham, if you think I like you because of that confession, it wasn't real. Alright? I lied. I wanted to distract you because you're infuriating, but I didn't think things would end up like this."

You'd expected your confession, the genuine one, to be met with anger, betrayal, anything of the sort. But all he gave was yet another almost apathetic "I know" as if none of it was important. The tense silence was begging to be broken, but your voice caught in you throat with every word you thought to speak. It ended being Alhaitham who spoke up first.

"And not even half of what you've ever said to me can be trusted. You don't mean it? I'm well aware. You almost never mean anything you say. I wouldn't know why - I couldn't - but I can only assume years of prattling fanciful sonnets and euphemisms have rendered words meaningless to you. Your words hold no weight."

Well, that sort of stung. But he wasn't done talking.

"Yet you never do anything you don't mean. When you were so one-sidedly absorbed in what little makeshift rivalry you'd come up with, you wouldn't so much as look at me for more than a few seconds. So I played along. You can't so much as force a smile for someone you dislike. So what am I to believe when you hiss that you can't stand me while cozying up in my lap?"

Ah. Curse him and his never wavering rationality.

Taglist: @vernith @bubblegum-angelquartz @ayanokomu @hannya-writes @oh-allie @sane-genshin-fan @makimakimi

[tremendouskoalachild]

Isabela Merced talked about tlou in a recent interview promoting her new movie, so i transcribed that part

Correct me if I’m wrong – are you in the middle of The Last of Us right now? Are you basically taking a break for press?

We are on the tail end of it, I think we're about to be done soon. I already saw the teaser, Craig Mazin showed it to me. It was phenomenal, and I’m really excited for the world to see it.

I got a chance to do the podcast with Craig after last season. I know you must now be an amazing fan, that guy's a genius. He's amazing and such a sweet guy. Did you go hard after this one? Were you a fan of the game?

Yeah, yeah. I never played the first one, I probably will after this. But the second one I played, and I loved it. And it was really cool to see how the sets look exactly the same. It's so neat. Every day on set is challenging, I will say. It's a show about fungus. So it's not glamorous by any means, and it's hard topics and conversations. Fear is one of the main emotions that we experience throughout. And I'm really proud of Bella. I think if I were to close this out, if this was the last interview I did about The Last of Us before he wrapped, I would say, you know, I really hope Bella gets their flowers. They're working really, really hard, physically and emotionally, mentally. One thing I've learned throughout this is like, wow, you can really admire people who are younger than you. You can really look up to them, absolutely.

Yeah, no, Bella is a special one. I also spoke to them after the first season and just the intense scrutiny too and, you know, there's toxicity out there. The stuff that you guys have to deal with, it's crazy. Just let the great actors act, and Bella is a great one.

Well, what confuses me is the showrunner and the creator of the video game, they work together to make this. So if you like what the guy made and he's making more of it, why are you mad? I don't know, I'm too opinionated to be on twitter. Like, I really need off, because I see this stuff, and it makes me just want to go Cardi B on them, you know what I mean?

I'm worried about your buddy Kaitlyn, Kaitlyn Dever, one of the great actors of our time. Abby – no spoilers – does some things that people don't necessarily approve of. Kaitlyn’s going to get some hate through proxy of just being Abby.

There's so many strange people in this world. There are people that actually, genuinely, hate Abby, who is not a real person. Just a reminder – not a real person. And so, you know, Kaitlyn had to be extra-secured by security when it came to the filming of this. Kaitlyn is such a cool person who just does not get phased by things, really has her head in the right place, and also is going through a lot right now, personally.

I know she lost her mom, yeah.

Yeah, it's devastating to see. But also, give her the damn Emmy, honestly. I’m so excited for people to see how incredibly well Bella and Kaitlyn did on this.

And obviously the relationship between Ellie and Dina is important. I assume you guys screen tested as well, you and Bella?

Oh, no actually. Craig and Neil came to me for a “generic meeting”, as they say. And I was like, okay. Then they kind of mentioned the show and how there's a character there that maybe… and I thought oh, even if the meeting goes well, I'll still have to audition and I'll do my research and whatever. And I guess they decided there and then that they wanted me. So that's wild. I don't even think I believe in myself that much. So I'm like, okay, sure, I'll accept it.

Is there something that you've shot that you're most excited for fans to see? I know we have a long way to go before we see it, but something that you took part in that you can't wait for the fandom to see?

I think it's the romance for me. I think it's the romance between the two of us that really brings a tear to my eye. I have a whole playlist for Dina and Ellie. It's beautiful, there's this one song that we would play on set, that I would play on set and that Bella really loved, by Adrianne Lenker, that really set the tone for us. It's beautiful. I think they did a really good job.

[a-mag-a-day]

MAG 63 - making apple pie in the kitchen

I just want to say right off the bat that this is one of my favorite statements!

"And if you don’t know what it is, well, the Internet’s a thing. Look it up." - so true, lmgtfy

"Everyone always forgets how much London is under London." - Foreshadowing? I mean, it's true, but still since this will become relevant to the plot.

"I took another picture before I followed him. The shadow was still there, and it seemed to be ever so slightly closer." - Aaaah, this is exactly the shit I love! xD

"I told him bluntly that I didn’t have enough, and if I didn’t get paid, he didn’t get paid." - Capitalism is the real enemy!!! Aside from that, it's so tragic that the Luke gets snatched. He wanted to leave.

"the third set of breathing. It was quiet, at first, long and slow, and very deliberate." - Jonny does love the words "slow" and "deliberate", preferably very close to each other, doesn't he?

"and I sank to the floor, clutching my camera to my chest like some sort of protective talisman." - I wonder if it was? Cameras belong to the Eye and that's the opposite of the Dark. The Dark is about the unseen, the Eye is about being seen. And the camera did make them visible to some point.

"As I pressed the button, the screaming stopped, with a wet snap, and for the worst moment of my life, an explosion of light shot through the darkness." - I love this so much _

"His eyes were staring at me as though pleading for my feeble, flashing camera to save him." - Firstly, again the camera being mentioned as a possible lifesaver. And secondly, and this is why horror writers say their search history is super fucked up: Luke's eyes were probably fixed on the statement-giver's camera because he was thinking just that. Yes, just the head. It is believed, that people (and animals) stay at least 2 to 3 seconds conscious before falling in a coma and dying from oxygen deprivation and sudden fall of perfusion of blood in the brain. This is a highly interesting topic physiology-wise that I have on some occasions been reading up about with fascination and dread alike. Because holy shit, this is so messed up.

MELANIE "The new girl let me in. Are you all right?" - <.<

MELANIE "No! I, um – I actually do need your help." JON "… Hm. Interesting." - He doesn't, but I feel like he really wants to be smug about it. Like, well well well, how the turns have tabled!

MELANIE "Georgie actually has some nice things to say about you." JON "Oh!" MELANIE "That came as a surprise." - Hahaha, that little "Oh" in there xD

JON "We didn’t exactly part on the best of terms…" - Well I wonder why that is… I mean, Jon can be a prick, but Georgie isn't a saint either. She's got a bit of a control problem going on. Ha… interesting… since it is said how similar Jmart is to wtgfs, this would make Georgie and Martin similar and control is a Web-thing, isn't it? It's just that Georgie can't quite succeed in it.

JON "I’m sorry to hear that. I noticed you weren’t updating anymore." - I know people in fanfics are always like "Oh, Jon only watches documentaries" and I think this was also said in a Q&A once that he'd probably be the documentaries-type but let's not forget what kind of a kid Jon was! He was a bookworm! He probably read a lot of fiction and I can't believe that he completely stopped that, fiction I mean. He may not have seen Kill Bill, but he knows the basic story of Spiderman, hell he's probably seen the first one with Toby Maguire! So yes. I believe Jon also watched some Ghost Hunting shows. It is after all that what he wants answers to.

"The new girl" line always sent shivers up my spine....

[theflikchic]

Okay food for thought: I'm rereading PoA, I'm almost done it, and I'm trying to read it critically. And this thought cannot stop bothering me:

Excluding the later books, speaking strictly from a character-writing perspective, does anyone else find it kinda weird and uncomfortable how glossed over the "prank" (basically murder attempt, Sirius doesn't even deny it) on Snape is?

There are definitely more pressing matters during the situation. Who really betrayed Harry's parents is the ultimate issue at hand. But I noticed that after Lupin, who is mostly very open about how the whole "prank" went down, explains why it is that Snape really hates Lupin and Sirius, Harry addresses this and even when he believes Sirius isn't guilty of murder, he still never gives Sirius' apathy towards almost killing Snape a second thought. And the narrative seems totally fine with it.

Like, this is a major revelation. Or at least, it should be. Harry has found out that the real reason James saved Snape's life is because James' friend- his best friend- used Lupin to try and harm another student. And despite this, the narrative still acts shocked when Snape looks "deranged" and "mad" when faced with Sirius, whereas Harry calls him "pathetic". Snape is obviously an asshole who has beef with a CHILD, so there's bias there from Harry but...

Okay. Snape goes way out of line during that Shack scene (imo, he deserved to get conked out like that telling Harry to actually die, SHIT). But I get why he goes that far even if it's awful.

At first, when he reveals himself specifically after the explanation behind the prank, the narrative seems set up for the reader to also gain some understanding for why Snape is behaving this way while still presenting him as in the wrong. He was nearly killed, Sirius got off, they hushed it all up, and he clearly has severe unresolved trauma from that. I can't see ANY other explanation for why he acts like that, and the same goes Sirius (who was younger than ME when he got put into Azkaban). So you'd think- with Harry's whole year being about trauma and the narritive focusing on it, you'd think the set up would lean more into setting up Harry considering the unresolved trauma Snape has about this.

But no. The narrative goes right back to only portraying him as "petty" and having to just get over himself, as someone now looking "deranged" because of a "schoolboy grudge". It's as if the provided info of the prank never happened and the only thing Harry heard was that Snape was "jealous of James' talent on the Quidditch pitch" (also Snape?! How?! Given what we know about him these past three books, this seems sorta out of character. Jealous of James' popularity definitely but sports ability?). Harry doesn't question the prank, even when his FATHER did, chalks up Snape's whole experience to being "made a fool of at school", and the narrative just... goes with it?

Whether or not you believe Snape deserved to get attacked by Lupin, it's very odd to me how this is a big reveal and then Harry's brain and the narrative alike switch back to "oh that Snape, just grow up" as if the reveal never happened and acts as if it's still shocking that a man forced to hush up his near murder would be..."deranged" (the small ableism in PoA is something else btw).

This was way longer than intended but from a writing perspective, does it seem odd to anyone else? Is it just bc the narrative is so heavily told from Harry's POV? If so, it doesn't always feel that explicitly from Harry. Maybe I'll add on more when I finish rereading it but for some reason, this is really bothering me.

[casspurrjoybell-33]

Wreckless - Getting settled

*Warning Adult Content*

Emmett

The chicken is cooked well and still juicy and even if it weren't, the amount of salad dressing that Finnegan dumped on his salad would have hidden it.

I tell myself that he's still getting all the nutrients and fiber from the salad which is what really matters.

I'm definitely going to need to buy more dressing.

Something has been floating around in the back of my head all through dinner and I finally realize what it is.

"I think Andy has an extra desk. I'll have him send over a picture and you can decide if it'll work for you or not."

"I can just buy one and get it delivered," he says as if it's not a concern. 

I will never get used to him having so much money. 

Furniture is expensive.

"Or we can save some trees and cash and have it here tonight and get you settled."

I'm already texting Andy.

"Do either of you have a steamer? My suits are probably a rumbled mess by now."

"Is that like an iron?" 

Steamers are yummy but that's definitely not what he's talking about.

"Yes and that question means you don't have one. No worries, Amazon will save us."

That I'm going to let him handle because I don't even know exactly what one is.

Andy comes through with the picture and I show my phone to Finnegan.

"Actually that will work great and I love that it has drawers."

A few more texts and it's set.

"I was going to borrow your fancy SUV and go pick it up but Andy's brother is over and offered to help load it so Andy's going to drop it off here which gives us a few minutes to get your office cleaned up."

"Not what I was hoping to do tonight, Emmett but thank you. Just tell me what to do." 

"Patience, darling, patience."

The first thing he needs to do is put on some pants.

He doesn't seem happy about that but soon he's presentable. 

It doesn't take us long to get ready, the room is mostly empty because it's ferret-proofed.

I keep the whole upstairs pretty sparse, actually.

I get the top half of the bookshelf cleared off and Finn vacuums while I empty out the closet except for the highest shelf.

I didn't realize how much shit I have.

Still, there's plenty of room for the desk and he decides to put it right under the back windows.

He runs extension cords and dusts while I wait for Andy.

He's right on time and ten minutes later the desk is up and in place.

He's even brought over a wheeled chair although it's definitely seen better days.

Finnegan tugs on my sleeve and whispers

"Should I tip him? Pay him?"

"No, darling, this is what friends do."

"My friends have never loaned me furniture," he replies and I believe him.

He's probably never used anything second-hand before but that's also a bit sad. 

Maybe his friends just loan him planes, I don't know.

"Nice seeing you again Finnegan," Andy says as he heads out the door.

He really is a good guy.

"You too, Andy and thank you."

As soon as the door closes, Finnegan is taking back off his jeans.

"I can unpack tomorrow, really."

"No, tonight."

"But why?" he whines.

Fine? He wants to know?

I walk up behind him and press my chest against his back.

"Because once we start making up for the past month, Finnegan. You're going to be in no shape to bend, lift or even think. I'm going to take very, very good care of you so you need to have everything ready for Monday. Do you understand?"

"Yes Sir. I'm going to need more hangers. Pants hangers too and a tie organizer. And a chair. I don't think I can sit in that one for more than an hour without my ass being sore in bad ways. And a steamer."

"I'll go get you some hangers and look for a steamer and chair. You'll have to order whatever I can't find at Walmart."

"You don't have to..."

He's being impossible.

"Finnegan? Let me do what I want."

His eyes cloud over and he's cute as hell.

"Yes, Sir."

"Get as much done as you can while I'm gone."

Against all odds... I get everything he's asked for and then some.

I get a little desk lamp and small trashcan for him.

I grab some curtains for the windows.

I never bothered before because I have mini-blinds but he might prefer curtains since his desk faces that way.

I get him a notepad and some pens because it just seems like something he should have and might not have brought with him.

Good enough for today.

When I get home he has one suitcase almost emptied and his laptop is set up on the desk.

He's sitting in the chair and turns, handing me a check.

"What's that for?"

"It's what I would have paid for my apartment this week. If it's not enough just let me know. How much do I owe you for all this?" he asks, smiling as he pulls out the lamp.

"So thoughtful."

I take the check and glance down.

"No, not happening."

"Emmett."

He's serious... Just saying my name like that says a whole paragraph.

"It's my room allowance and you are providing me room and board, plus laundry and shopping and all kinds of things."

He heads into the bathroom, then plugs the steamer in and starts hanging up his suits.

"It's too much."

"No it's not. I'll give you another one next weekend. Look, I want to pay my way while I'm here, it's the least I can do."

"This isn't paying your way, this is most of my mortgage."

That seems to surprise him.

"You got a good deal but it's irrelevant. It's what I would have spent. Just take it, Emmett. Take it and buy me toys and cute undies and gel pens. Put my chair together for me and take the fee out of that. I don't care how you work it out in your own head but I'd really like you to accept it."

It's not that I can't use it but not every week, no.

"This check is for the whole month. That's as much as I'm willing to take."

He turns and stares me down.

"Twice a month."

"What? That's your idea of compromising? Bartering like we're in a Mexican market?"

"If the shoe fits. Twice a month. That's my final offer."

He steps up to me and gives me a kiss on the cheek.

"I don't like worrying about you, either. I don't want to mentally keep track of how much the presents and yummy dinners cost. I don't want to feel bad about using a ton of electricity. I'm just not going to have much brain space to deal with it and it would make things a lot easier on me if I could just pay you enough that I know the little incidentals will be covered."

Incidentals? This is more than some people's paychecks. 

"I don't like the idea of being paid to take care of you."

"I pay Megan to take care of me. True story, my dad always says that every man needs a good woman in his life. When I came out to him I told him that I was just going to have to find a good secretary instead and he joked and said that at least he didn't have to worry about me getting her pregnant. Look, I'm not paying you to care, Emmett and I'm not paying you for sex."

'That's true, I suppose.'

"Okay."

"You say I'll get used to your cock and if I can do that, I think you can get used to this. Now, steamer time."

How can he just SAY that? But, he may be right.

He's also a little scary waving that steamer around so gleefully.

I make my escape and head into the hallway to put his chair together.

[casspurrjoybell-24]

Sugar Punch - Chapter 49

*Warning Adult Content*

- Theo -

The moment from where we left the gym, to from where we entered my apartment building, Maddox and I couldn't keep our hands off from each other.

Everywhere I touched on Maddox's body felt like the first time, every outline, every muscle, every area of skin I touched was electric, his moans with every touch were setting my mind on fire.

It had started to rain heavily once we arrived at my apartment building but that didn't stop us, not even for a second.

The moment we left the car my lips were on his, it was a miracle nobody saw us as we practically ran towards my apartment, skipping the elevator just to get there faster on the second floor.

We reached my door and by this time, I was super turned on, as was Maddox as he pressed his large erection against my butt, his mouth was sucking, kissing and nibbling my neck as I tried and failed to open my door.

Maddox chuckled in my ear once he saw how nervous I was, failing to open my door, then his hands hovered over mine and helped me open the door, as I held back a groan, thankful my apartment was dark so he couldn't see my face.

Once we both got inside, no words were said as we both took our t-shirts off, again, as much as I wanted to admire just how beautiful and sculptured Maddox was, we clashed together and started kissing as he walked backwards with me into my apartment.

"Bedroom?" he asked, between kisses, his hands on my ass and squeezing tightly.

Pulling back from his lips, fiercely dominating me, I dragged him towards my bedroom, near the front door as I started to kick my shoes off, I opened the door and turned the light on and that's when I finally got a chance to look at Maddox.

He was so sexy it was hard to believe that this was happening, he stood in all his glory and I really couldn't help but get incredibly nervous as he closed the bedroom door and walked over to me.

I sat down on my bed and started to feel strange and Maddox must have noticed as he kneeled down in-between my legs.

"Theo?" his deep voice made me snap back from my thoughts, and look at him. "Are you sure you want this?" he asked, as I swallowed hard.

Want this? It's all I've thought about for the past two years, only now... he's actually in front of me, and he feels the same as I do.

Or at least I thought he did, I didn't know.

My heartbeat was beating so fast I felt like I was going to pass out.

"Yeah, I'm just..."

God, I can't believe this, two years... two damn years and I'm still like this in front of him.

"Nervous?" he said, taking the words from my mouth as I looked at him, seeing him smile. "You think I don't feel nervous too right now? Here..." he grabbed hold of my hand and placed it over his heart.

His heart was beating so hard and fast that I thought it felt like punches against the palm of my hand, it was so strong and powerful, that I didn't for once second think that Maddox was also feeling like this.

"I'm always like this around you, Theo," he softly said as I watched him slowly crawl up and get on top of me, until I was laid on my bed with Maddox on top of me.

He leaned down and kissed me softly on my lips before he moved his lips from mine and started trailing soft, featherlike kisses down my neck, then to my chest, until he reached my stomach.

I wasn't a virgin but the moment his hands started to slowly pull down my pants from around my hips, it felt like the first time I was ever with Maddox, terrified, excited and extremely nervous.

So nervous, I thought I was going to die, especially when my erection came free and Maddox wrapped his big, strong hand around it.

Looking down at Maddox, it felt like I was dreaming because there was no way Maddox was looking up at me, smirking and wrapping his lips around the tip of my erection.

I've had guys do this to me before and it's always felt good but nothing and nobody ever made me feel as good as Maddox did, not even close, the moment his warm mouth wrapped around my dick, I could've died and went to heaven right there.

"W-Wait..." I groan but Maddox didn't listen as he sank my erection deeper down his throat.

Oh my God...

'What the fuck. How does he do that?'

I was so close already and there was nothing I could do as I enjoyed the overwhelming pleasure his mouth gave me.

Two years... and not once had I felt this turned on, it made me feel shy and emotional as I gripped the bedsheets and cried out as his tongue and mouth worked me over.

He growled and just like that, the moment the vibration hit me from his throat, I couldn't hold it inside anymore.

I tried to sit up but Maddox's hand pushed me down as he kept his mouth deep over my now throbbing, pulsating erection, greedily taking everything without moving an inch.

His eyes had never once left mine, he looked so incredibly sexy and seductive that I couldn't look away, afraid that if I did, he'd somehow disappear.

Maddox had finally freed me from his grasp and moved from between my legs to stand up and every with every movement, his muscles flexed in a way that was hard to not admire and get me hard again.

Maddox grinned as he slowly lowered his own sweatpants and underwear, until they were somewhere on the floor and his hand was wrapped tightly around his now, enormous erection.

I couldn't look away, I knew this wasn't the first time I've seen it but it still intimidated me, as it looked the same.

He really was big, it made me nervous all over again just looking at it's size, length and girth, held in his firm grasp.

"Where's your bathroom?" he suddenly asked, as I snapped my eyes away from his cock, to his eyes.

My bathroom?

"Uh... across the hall," I dumbly said, as he grinned.

Maddox leaned down and grabbed my hand to pull me up, my chest hitting his as he turned and dragged me along with him, both of us naked from head to toe and now walking out my bedroom.

"Maddox? What...?"

"Stop talking," he simply said, before taking my lips with his, his hands grabbing hold of my hands as he pushed me up against my bathroom door.

We were both soaking from head to toe, I should be cold but I felt as though my body was on fire with each and every caress of his hands and touch of his lips on mine.

Also, the fact that Maddox... someone this incredibly sexy and famous was standing in front of me naked, it helped to warm me up, that's for sure.

"Fuck," he groaned huskily against my lips, his forehead on mine as we both try and catch our breath, our chests rising rapidly.

"I've missed this."

I knew exactly what he was saying because I knew what he meant, there was just simply no way of putting how long these two years have been for me but seeing Maddox now, I see that I wasn't the only one thinking that.

Even now, I felt like this was a dream, only a few nights ago I saw him fight with my now ex-boyfriend and now he's in my bathroom naked and staring at me like he's about to eat me whole...

Not twenty minutes ago I wanted to punch him in his handsome face, now I want to kiss all over it.

"Come on," Maddox held hold of my hand and pulled me with him to the shower as he goes to turn it on.

"Um," I nervously looked at him, his muscles flexing as he pulled me into the shower with him.

"What?" he smiled cheekily, looking down at me, water droplets from his hair dripping onto my face. "This isn't the first time we showered together, or did you forget?"

'Forget... how could I?'

I didn't need to have a mirror in front of me to know that I blushed bright red as Maddox's smile turned into a smirk as he started laughing, reaching past me to grab a bottle of shampoo from the shelf.

"You've changed but you're still shy, huh?" he teased as I rolled my eyes and snatched the bottle from him.

"I'm not shy, you're just messing with me," I hit back, as he shrugged whilst holding out his hand.

I squirted some shampoo in his hand and then put some in my own and started washing my hair and the whole time I stood their inches from him, I couldn't tear my eyes away from his body and how perfect it was.

Maddox trained mercifully and it was noticeable the moment you looked at every inch of his body, the amount of dedication alone to achieve this level was impressive and after these years of not seeing him...

'I was still a huge fan of his. How could I not be?'

Once we were both showered, clean and warmed up from the rain, we both got outside and started to dry ourselves and once I was dried, everything started to sink in and that's when it all hits me.

Maddox is somebody who has went through so much, not only has he been hurt by someone he cared about, even loved but he had also killed someone, somebody who was supposed to be a protector.

Family.

These past two years I hated him so much for how he broke up with me, the past few months after the break up, I don't remember a time where I fell asleep without crying because I was still madly in love with him.

Only once I considered what he did was most likely for my own benefit but never did I think I would be right, eventually I stopped thinking about it and Maddox and why he did what he did.

He did it all for me, knowing that he'd only get hurt again by someone he loved.

Loved... he loved me and did all that for me.

I knew he was lying... when he said he didn't feel the same, I knew it.

Maddox suddenly wrapped his arms around me with his towel, cocooning me into his chest before leaning down to kiss me on my neck, his lips tickling me as I take a deep breath in, the scent of my shampoo and shower gel on his skin.

He smelled just like me and I don't know why but I loved it... it felt like before, just us and nothing else mattered.

"Can I sleep here tonight?" he asked, as I looked up at him to see that he looked genuinely anxious for my response. "Unless it's too soon, then..."

"No," I instantly said, before moving back shyly. "You can stay... but I don't know if I'm ready for... uhm... you know, that..."

How can I say it without feeling even more worse than I was currently feeling, as Arthur's face popped into my head, his crying face when I told him I was breaking up with him because I was in love with someone else.

That somebody else was standing in front of me but I just couldn't do it, not so soon, it felt... wrong and made me feel like crap.

"I really do get it, you don't have to explain it to me Theo," Maddox said, lowering the towel to wrap low around his hips.

I looked him in the eye and as much as I wanted to be with Maddox, what we were doing was too soon... and there was still a lot to talk about, like what happens next.

"We can talk about this tomorrow, if that's what you want to do, I'm not going anywhere."

With that, Maddox turned and walked back into my bedroom as I stood and watched his wide tattooed muscle back, he dropped the towel on my bedroom floor and then got into my bed once I walked into my room.

Looking at Maddox in my bed, I seriously wondered how I was going to survive or even sleep with him not only in the same room as me,but the same bed.

He looked so attractive, just lying there, I felt like I really was being punished, in the best way possible but I had to hold myself back, if we had sex now, I'd only be taking two steps back and going to how I used to be.

I've changed now, I'm not that weak boy he knew two years ago and Maddox wasn't that guy anymore either, he was being respectful and giving me space, rather than using his charm to get his way.

I climbed into bed next to him and then turned off my bedroom light, I laid down on my pillow and then complete silence filled the room and along with the silence came the thick tension sexual tension that always came whenever I was near Maddox Zane.

Looks like I'm not sleeping tonight.

It's going to be a long night... 

[voyager3rv]

Cold Start!

Day: 948

Location: 35.558, -75.462

Entry:

Well that was something ! ! !

We had known we were in for a bit of a challenge with the weather that had been upcoming in NJ. ( temps were going as low as 3F )

- - Pre - Departure - -

So we dragged the lines early, dropped all our water and had a small space heater in a cargo bay to distribute heat through while we endured the arctic blast. We held well between the shrubs during our last stay, Nebbie was able to kick consistent vibes at approx 50F and that was with two electric heaters at 2200 watts.

~ Due to limited electricity throughput from the line ( 20A ) ~

[ We would have rocked propane, but after 2+ months of usage we were pretty much beat ]

This essentially set the tone for our disembark,

J and I were both a little slow to get back into the groove, but we made due and pressed on. Leaving went pretty smoothly and we were greeted with driving head on with what was described as "gale winds"... (shrugs) you honestly can't make it up. But it was such a great test for all the work we had done, this old gal, prior to our renovation would have been ramblin' back and forth like she was busting a move. :D

- - Departure - -

Our initial heading had us arriving in ( 35.558, -75.462 ) by Sunday afternoon, so we decided to split the trip into two days, somewhere around 266mi the first day, and 220 the next.

We got to our first layover without any other excitement, we were lucky to have some really beautiful sunset views over farmlands in MD as we parked, plugged electric only and settled in for the night.

The second day was really when all the excitement happened, we had to plan a spot to fuel our propane before landing, and after having called the campground we were essentially told we were beat for a Sunday fill. So we hunted around... or more like, J hunted around, and after five or six different spots we were able to narrow it down to an Ace hardware, believe it or not.

(added to the list of places to stop)

I jumped up front and went to start Nebbie, but when I turned the key.... ( click, click sppzpzp cacsfma lfnskj ) was actually exactly how it sounded. Now I remembered what that one thing was I still had to do... replace the battery. No worries though, we've jumped before and today was no different. So after getting Nebbie started we hooked the smart car and rolled out to our first stop, the gas station!

The first one was not set up well for us, so we had to cross the highway and pulled through another.

So this might have come easier to someone else, but not to me that day, because I tell ya what I confidently turned that engine off thinking we would be swell, and guess what. We weren't! lol so I had to unhook the smart car, turn it back on, jump the RV and then re-situate on the opposite side of the gas station to rehook.

(just a good ol regular fill up in RV life)

We were only forty minutes to the ace hardware, and on the way we decided to get smart. I asked J to research about the (emergency start) switch on the dash and how it operated and how we might be able to use it. So after a quick youtubing we felt confident that it would be straight forward.

We pulled into the Ace lot which thankfully was pretty abandoned and did a whole two loops before arriving correctly at the side of the propane fill up area. The worker there had seen us driving and met me there at the side, he was super nice and we discussed camping, and the type of camper he had as well.

After I hopped back into the driver's seat, anxious and ready to DRIVE! I look at J and asked her "No but really, one whole minute", she responded "One minute", my eyes flipped around in my head while I pushed the button (emergency start) looking between J and the wheel, waiting for the go ahead.

At juuuuust about one minute I turned the key, ( du du duuuu ) no dice. After sitting for a second, and pushing the button again, this time for thirty seconds, we tried again before Nebbie roared to life!

We were in some kinda luck!

With a full tank of gas, and propane we made our way further south, taking in the ocean views from Virginia bridges to Virginia Beach, driving all along the sand bar by Kitty Hawk and through towards Rodanthe.

First trip back on the road in the books, we're parked about 200 feet away from the ocean and the sunrises and sunsets have been BEAUTIFUL, the next week days here are going to be so relaxing!

- Transmission End -

[spilledkauffie]

Wolverine (Logan Howlett) NSFW HC List 

xFemale!Reader || for anon — T/W: NSFW

Original list made by: @caitlinsnicket

↳ m a i n m a s t e r l i s t

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Quiet but cosy — he doesn't talk much afterwards, you'll get some deep throaty grumbles and hums as he nuzzles against your skin while you catch your breath. When you come back from cleaning up, he wraps you in his arms, pulling you back down by the waist. Cosying up to him, sometimes you stroke along his collarbones, talking and he'll just listen, happy to hear your voice and your little sighs in between long sentences.

He’s actually the needy one in the aftermath — Logan doesn't like just parting ways afterwards; he wants to stay close to you feeling your skin against his, it still feels so intimate to him, even if you fall asleep or get tired. If you decide to turn over, Logan's on it, tightening his grip on you, keeping his eyes closed. You have to giggle and explain that you're just turning over, when you do you're met with silence until a raspy "oh," as he loosens, but doesn't let go of, his grip on you.

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of their partner’s)

Hips — he loves grabbing you by the hips, literally squeezing his fingertips against your soft skin and pulling you closer, holding you in the perfect place, or using them to help guide the pace. (Even when it’s not sexy time, he always holds you close by your hips).

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically…)

Ladies first — you’re always the first to cum, usually that’s just because Logan can outlast you, but sometimes it’s because he’s just that good.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Doesn't mind being dommed — Logan will never ever admit it, but he loves when you take charge and decide to top. This is something you've learned simply by experience with him; he'll let you sit on his lap super easily, from there you tried it during foreplay, and then in bed and sure enough he loved it. However, it's something you don't directly bring up, the closest you've gotten to talking about it is saying, "I guess I'm the only one who gets to tame you."

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

He knows what he's doing — Logan doesn't talk about previous partners very much, if at all, in fact, he never does unless you ask and even then he tries to be as vague about it as possible. But he's been around for a good long while to have had quite a bit of experience.

Getting to know you — despite having a history, Logan believes in getting to know your preferences, not just applying what seems to work. He wants to know all your sweet spots, all your little turn ons, your body language, and sounds. Needless to say, after the second or third time, he's got it down to a science.

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying.)

Just about anything — truly when the moment strikes, he doesn't really care as long as his hands can be all over you. Typically you're the one who'll set the position and he just goes with it, whatever you're feeling he's pretty much down for. However, some of his personal go-tos are:

On your back — anything with you on your back, usually he crawls ontop of you, supporting himself on his forearms, and you can make the call if you want to spread your legs out, wrap them around him, or just leave your knees to graze against his sides with each thrust.

Side — one arm around you, hand probably against your chest or stomach keeping you in place, the other either hooked under your legs or between your thighs. He'll kiss the top of your shoulder or softly bite at the side of your neck as you arch your body, shoulder and ass pressing hard against him.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

Definitely more serious, but still fun — Logan is not dead serious, but he's definitely not telling jokes in bed. He likes to hear your pleasure happy giggles and see you smile while being intimate. He can't help but smile in response to some of your reactions, like when he hits that sweet spot a little early and send a jolt through your body, causing you to cling onto him for dear life, even though it only lasts a second before he pauses. He has to chuckle at the way you get a little shy during those moments, before he soothes your bruised confidence with deep kisses.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

He's way more romantic than he leads on — he loves carrying you off to bed, paying extra attention to you in the foreplay (and not rushing through it), and being incredibly romantic particularly for special occasions like anniversaries, your birthday, or if he can sense you just need a good pick me up.

He's not terribly verbal — but man oh man do his actions make up for it. Yes, he gives some "I love yous," but overall its in the way he treats you. This also translates to the bedroom, he may not lavish a bunch of praise, but he will physically praise your body and just make you feel fantastic.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

He can restrain — he'd rather wait, even if it builds up the sexual tension, he'd rather wait until he can absolutely spend a night of pure pleasure with you, and you can definitely tell when he's been waiting, the tone is entirely different.

However — should he stumble upon you having a little self pleasure, he's not opposed to lending a hand, in some cases your get so flustered that he has to convince you its perfectly fine with him, other times he actually offers to leave and let you have the self-care time. "I can stay, or I can leave," he says, "tell me which will give what you need."

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Silk / Nightgowns — maybe it’s because the fabric looks dainty and alluring, but Logan really has a things for railing you while you’re wearing something silky. Even if during all the action the fabric winds up being pushed up and pulled down so it’s just around your stomach, everything else bare, it’s still a major kink for him.

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

Someplace private — Logan likes to keep it behind closed doors and its almost never somewhere the two of you aren't familiar with (except hotels). It just keeps the atmosphere comfortable because you're not worried about anything other than each other.

However — that basically just means the bedroom, where in your bedroom is fair game, a desk, the bed, the floor, the bathroom counter, it doesn't matter if its familiar.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

A lot — you're surprised how easily he can get turned on, yet at the same time you're surprised at how well he can keep his composure in public. He'll squeeze your ass and whisper something only you hear in public, making heat rise to your face, meanwhile he's acting perfectly normal.

Looks — you and Logan have a lot of body language communication, but sometimes when you're in public you just shoot him a look that says it all; at first he'll just look over to you, and notice you're already staring at him. From there, he'll perk an eyebrow as if asking "really?" and from there he'll find an excuse to leave and be alone with you.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Public or remotely public — it can't be too risky as in being seen by someone, that's just an immediate no.

Too rough — Logan loves to squeeze a lot, even enough to leave bruises, but things like choking that could really hurt you are also a no-go. Not big on hair pulling, a hand in your hair is one thing, but pulling, nope. // He almost always has to be the toughie, in battle and in general to assert some authority, so when it's time to be intimate, he doesn't actually like being rough, it's a time when he can finally be gentle.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

Giving — not his strong suit, but takes your hints and reads your body language so he can get better!

Receiving — he’s definitely a fan of it, but doesn’t always ask for it. You found out that he’s super responsive during oral, even more so than during sex, so it can make it really easy to dom him, which is a rare situation to be in. It’s oddly attractive to for once have his pleasure at your mercy.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

It varies — its never just one pace, it either starts out really hot and heavy, then slows down with time, or it starts out slow and sweet and builds up to a heavy pace. It keeps the pleasure at a maximum, as just when you think you're going to hit your orgasm, he'll slow the pace, or just when you've gotten used to a slower rhythm, he'll hit deeper and harder.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

He's so down for it — loves to take time for it, and he doesn't need a lot of time, so quickies are perfectly fine with him!

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

Not his favourite — he’s not really down for anything to risky or experimental. Especially if it’s pretty far from what you usually do together. // Now things that are simply like new positions or maybe a location shake up (like the shower or during a bath etc.) that’s different and he’d be down with it.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

The question is more how long can you go — Logan's stamina is off the charts, so there's really no question if he's up for another round. It's how much you can take depending on the day. Literally Logan can last go forever and he can last a good long while!

Say when — it’s when you say you can’t keep going, shaking and panting, palms pressed to his chest, that he knows it’s time to cool it down, wrapping things up with some tender and soothing kisses, before helping you up and possibly carrying you to the shower.

U = Unfair (how much do they like to tease?)

He doesn't tease much — out of the two of you, you're probably the one who's more of a tease to him. When Logan’s in the mood he’s down to go, he doesn’t feel the need to tease you, just enough to get you comfortably wet for him. // However fe doesn’t take much teasing, he’ll literally just hoist you up and take control.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

He's not very verbal — there's not much "conversation" shall we say, there's not a lot of verbal praise and compliments, he lets you know in other ways.

Low growls , groans, and moans — he's definitely in the habit of more subtle sounds and signs of pleasure, such as throaty low growls before he noses against your neck, fingers squeezing your skin.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants)

You’re well taken care of — Logan’s all around a bit above average.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Pretty high — if you’re in the mood he’s in the mood, he’ll never not be if you’re game for a round or two.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

You first — Logan tends to get sleepy, but doesn’t fall asleep, he just really relaxes afterwards. So he’ll close his eyes and nuzzle up to you, but he’s perfectly awake. Usually he winds up feeling your breathing change from steady while you’re awake and talking, to soft and rhythmic.

[armpirate]

Anti-romantic || JJk | Ch. 33

Pairings: Boxer!Jungkook x fem!reader || Enemies to lovers, neighbors

Genre: smut, angst, fluff, curse, illegal boxing, violence

Warnings: fuckboy!Jungkook x reader, smut, dirty talk, curse, mention of tarot and fate

Summary: Jungkook had always been carefree when it came to love. He always believed he was worth sharing himself with everyone, and thought it was selfish of him to ever think of keeping himself exclusive to just one person.

And maybe that was exactly what got him into the big problem he was in.

A curse that kept him away from love didn't seem an issue for him. The fact that his ex-girlfriend thought he'd be affected by the idea of the girls he slept with running away from him after sex was ridiculous. She actually did him a favor, and took a burden away from him.

At least that was what he thought at first.

He had never found himself thinking of the possibility of repeating with neither of his hook ups, because they disappeared before he was able to even think about it. But when he makes the mistake of sleeping with the sexy neighbor that lives in front of him, he finds himself hoping to get the chance for a second round every time their paths cross.

Y/n hated him the second he set foot inside the building by the way he started making her life a miserable mess for no reason. Sleeping with him was a big mistake she wasn't thinking of repeating. At least not until he came up with the excuse that she rejected him for a curse. Not only she thought he was annoying, but she was also convinced he was crazy. 

There was no way she could take him seriously.

Aprox. time of reading: 17 minutes

Previous || Next

MASTERLIST

Jungkook woke up slowly, blinking in the soft morning light filtering through the blinds. The warmth beside him stirred slightly, and it was only then that he realized he was tangled around Y/n, his arm draped across her waist. Her back was pressed snugly against his chest, and instead of moving away like he probably should've, Jungkook found himself smiling and -against all logic- snuggling closer.

He could feel her slow, steady breaths, the rise and fall of her chest, and it was...comforting. Too comforting.

Y/n stirred, half-asleep, letting out a soft, sleepy murmur that made Jungkook chuckle under his breath. He had no intention of moving. The way her hair smelled faintly like cocoa, the warmth radiating from her -it was addictive. He allowed himself to stay in that bubble for a few more minutes, soaking in the closeness.

Eventually, Y/n began to wake up, her eyelids fluttering open. She realized the situation, felt the heavy weight of Jungkook's arm, and tensed slightly.

—Jungkook —she whispered, her voice groggy but cautious.

—Hmm —he hummed lazily, burying his face into her hair and pulling her just a little bit closer, ignoring the obvious shift in her posture.

—Kook —Y/n repeated, a little more firmly this time.

—What? —his voice was muffled, but she could hear the playful smile behind it—. I'm comfortable.

—I'm not asking if you're comfortable. We can't stay like this —she muttered, but made no immediate move to pull away.

—Says who? —he quipped, pressing a gentle kiss to her shoulder, earning an eye roll from her, though she couldn't hide the small smile tugging at her lips.

—Says me —Y/n finally sat up, reluctantly extracting herself from his hold and sliding to the edge of the bed—. And I need to get back to my apartment to get ready

Jungkook's brow furrowed as he propped himself up on his elbow, watching her with a frown.

—Your place is still a mess —he reminded her—. Why not stay here for a few more days?

She shook her head, pulling from the sheets to keep her body covered.

—I can't. I had enough with living with you the time we had to.

Jungkook huffed dramatically, falling back onto the pillows like a child who had just been told "no.", while Y/n walked outside to pick up her clothes.

—Come on, Y/n. Just stay a little longer. It'll be safer.

—You just want me here to keep you entertained —she teased, completely dressed with the clothes she was wearing the previous night.

—Partly true —he smirked, not bothering to deny it—. But also...I like having you here.

Y/n paused, her fingers stilling as she tried not to let that simple statement affect her.

—I need to go back —she said more softly this time.

Staying there wouldn't end well.

Sitting up, Jungkook threw his legs over the side of the bed and leaned toward her, his eyes gleaming with mischief.

—Fine, you win. Go back to your place. But only if you go on a date with me first.

Y/n shot him a look, her brow raised.

—A date? Jungkook, it doesn't work like this.

Y/n walked outside the room, which made him sprint towards the door to block it, making her huff -although, deep inside, she was loving every second.

—I'm not asking for anything fancy. Just dinner. Or lunch. Whatever —he shrugged, but there was an earnestness behind his casual tone—. I just wanna spend time with you outside everything related to the investigation.

She hesitated, fighting the fluttering in her stomach.

—It's not a date —she finally said, trying to sound firm but failing miserably.

—Sure, sure —he agreed with a teasing grin, clearly not believing her—. Not a date. Got it.

—I'm serious —Y/n narrowed her eyes on him.

—Okay, okay. Not a date. But I'm picking you up at work— Jungkook held his hands up in surrender, though the grin on his face widened.

—I can't stand you —she sighed, shaking her head in mock exasperation.

—And yet, you said yes

—You're blocking the door, and I'm gonna be late for work —she explained, pushing him aside while he chuckled—. And put some clothes on.

Y/n couldn't suppress the smile on her face as she left, knowing full well that Jungkook had won that round.

Jungkook parked his bike outside the gym, the familiar smell of sweat and leather already drifting through the open door. He strode through the doors, nodding at a few familiar faces who were already sparring in the ring. The sound of gloves hitting heavy bags made him feel at ease, the chaos of the last few days momentarily slipping away.

As he headed toward the back to drop off his things, a familiar voice called out.

—Jungkook! —he could perfectly identify the voice from that person, which made him sigh after knowing what was to come.

Jungkook turned to see Jimin leaning against the wall, arms crossed and an unusually serious expression on his face.

—What's up, bro? —Jungkook joked, lifting his hand for a handshake, but only ending up with a frown as he approached— Wow, I see you didn't sleep well. Did Allison keep you awake again?

But Jimin only responded with an ironic smile at the mention of his girlfriend, wishing she was the one who took sleep away from him.

—Elijah was here again. You could've told me. I've told you I don't like being alone with him.

Jungkook froze mid-step. Elijah. The name sent a chill down his spine, especially after what happened in Y/n's apartment.

—What the hell did he want? —Jungkook asked, trying to sound as calm and careless as possible, despite the concern putting him on high alert.

—He came looking for you —Jimin sighed, following him inside the office after glancing around, making sure no one was listening—. And since you weren't here to answer them, he kept asking me what you've been up to recently.

—Ah, really? —he asked, trying to relax the way his jaw tightened— And what did you tell him?

—Nothing! I told him you were late as usual, that you've been busy with... personal stuff —Jimin raised his hands defensively.

—Personal stuff... —Jungkook echoed, running a hand through his hair.

It was way too vague of an answer to calm the people on that side of the issue. If they went looking for him, it was because they suspected his involvement in all the investigation Y/n had going on.

—You wanna tell me what's going on? —Jimin's eyes narrowed— Elijah doesn't just come by for a chat. He knows something's up, and he's not the only one. Shit, I'm not in all of this, I don't even snoop around and I even heard rumors, people talking. You and this girl, Y/n... You're poking at things you shouldn't be.

—It's not as bad as it sounds —he tried to calm him down. Jungkook exhaled sharpy, leaning back against the wall—. We're not doing anything wrong. Y/n's brother was involved in illegal fights and she wants to know who was the person who threw him into the last fight before he died. I'm just helping her.

—That's worse than all the other things I've heard —Jimin exclaimed—. Not only is it looking for a needle in the haystack. What is she going to do with that information, huh? —Jimin stepped closer, lowering his voice even further— She isn't just going to sit on it.

—She's going to write an article about it —he confessed.

—Oh, great. Fucking great —Jimin applauded—. Now that means Elijah won't be the problem, but those over him. If Elijah should make us shit, I can't imagine what it could happen if they decide this is a bigger problem. Have you not thought of what they're going to do to her? Haven't you seen random people just disappearing out of nowhere? These people have the power to do that.

Jungkook's eyes darkened at the mention of Y/n being in danger. He'd thought about it himself, but hearing it from Jimin made it hit harder.

—I know what I'm doing —he muttered, though his voice lacked confidence—. I'll keep her safe.

—Yeah? And who'll keep you safe? —Jimin shot back—. This isn't a joke, Jungkook. This isn't messing with a win, or running out of fighters to send. These people have cops and politics on a payroll, that fucking article won't make a change.

—Look, I'll handle it —Jungkook said after a long pause, although he didn't trust himself at that point—. I'll help her find answers. The sooner she finds them, the sooner it'll be over. And once she knows all the truth, I'll convince her to backtrack on the article.

—You better —Jimin didn't look convinced—. All the times I've complained because you only thought with your dick... How much I miss those days —he sighed.

Jungkook thought that his friend was over when his hands fell to his hips, but his almond eyes were back on him before he could even think about it.

—What is her brother's name?

—Noah —he mumbled—. But she doesn't know much other than the first gym he was in, which is the same one I was in —he added— But she doesn't know that. And she also heard of Mortal Blow.

—And she doesn't know that's you either —his eyebrows lifted—. Are you leading her to her brother or to you?

—I don't know —he clicked his tongue.

—Maybe you knew her brother. Do you have a picture?

—No.

—You're such a dumbass —Jimin sighed—. That's the first thing you should've done.

—I want to keep him as anonymous as possible —Jungkook walked towards his table, sinking in his seat—. I've had too many problems with other fighters, the last thing I want is to relate Y/n to one. And I don't want her to link me to one either —Jungkook admitted.

—You have an advantage —Jimin explained—. If you don't use it, Y/n will get information somewhere else, and you'll be fucked. Which, considering some of the information she already has wasn't from you, you're fucked already. And so is she. I'm sure those giving out bits of information won't be as careful or conscious as you.

Jungkook clenched his fists, his mind racing with thoughts of Y/. He knew she wouldn't back down, not when she was this close to the truth. He needed to come up with a way that would keep her away from the truth on her way, so she could only follow the bits of truth Jungkook shared.

His phone rang, seeing his mother's name displayed on the screen once again. If he got his stubbornness from someone, it was definitely from her. The name of his father, along with a notification, at the top of his screen did get more of his attention.

He needed to urgently see him, which was out of character from him.

Usually, his father would set up a date for them both to meet, a day that wouldn't disturb either of their lives or daily tasks. Yet that day it was so urgent that Jungkook picked up his motorbike, canceling the few trainings he had scheduled, to drive to the cafeteria his father had sent him.

Jungkook sat at the small café table, absentmindedly stirring the ice cubes inside the glass among his soda. He hadn't spoken to his father in days -weeks, really. It wasn't that he didn't care, but every time they met, the conversation seemed to circle around the same topic: his mother.

Across from him, his father watched him carefully, the years of wear and sadness etched into his face. Jungkook tried to ignore the tension that hung between them, but it was impossible. He knew why his dad had asked him to meet, and he wasn't looking forward to this conversation. He wasn't going to stay there for long if his father's plan was to convince him to meet his mother.

—How've you been? —his father asked, his voice gruff but warm.

He was trying, but Jungkook could see the way his hands fidgeted, nervous for what was to come.

—Busy —Jungkook shrugged, avoiding eye contact.

His father nodded, but the pleasantries didn't last long. After a pause, he sighed and leaned forward, his expression more serious.

—We need to talk, son. About your mother.

Jungkook scoffed first, seeing that topic coming, before his jaw tightened instantly. He stared into his glass, the transparent liquid swirling, but his mind was far from it.

—I already told you, I don't want to talk about her.

—I know —his father said softly, choosing his words carefully—. But I need you to listen. It's important.

Jungkook clenched his fists under the table, feeling the familiar knot of frustration tighten in his chest. His mother. The woman who had walked out on them. The woman who had broken their family, leaving him and his father in the wreckage. But sure, he was dying to talk about her.

—I don't care what she wants —Jungkook muttered—. If this has any to do with all the calls I've been getting from her the past weeks, I have nothing to do here.

His father sighed heavily, running a hand through his graying hair.

—And I don't even know why you're doing all of this —he continued—. She cheated on you, she abandoned us to live with a guy she'd just met, she didn't care about how we'd struggle, she didn't care about how we were, and now she wants to hold a conversation for what? I'm sure she's just coming back because that asshole dumped her and she's broke.

The bitterness in his tone made his father wince. There was a long silence before his father finally spoke again, this time with a sadness that seemed to weigh down every word.

—Jungkook, your mother is dying.

There was no reason to drag the conversation around the topic, it made no sense to play around it -especially with how impulsive Jungkook was. Either he was going to keep dragging his mother through the mud or he was going to stand up and leave, there was no way his father would see him coming.

Jungkook's heart stuttered at the new information, but he didn't let the words sink in fully. He'd known. He suspected something was wrong. He'd known from the moment she'd started calling, but he hadn't wanted to face it.

—She's been trying to reach out to you, and I know you've been hanging up every time —his father continued, his voice steady but pleading—. I'm not saying you need to forgive her for what she did to us. I know it hurts. Hell, it hurt me more than anyone. But she's running out of time, son.

—Am I supposed to feel bad for her now? —Jungkook swallowed hard, the words sticking in his throat— What? Should I pretend I forgave her and I want to be next to her now?

—That's up to you —his father said, leaning forwards—. I already did what I had to. I didn't want you to have regrets. I don't want you to carry this with you after she's gone. She made mistakes, terrible ones, but she's still your mother. And she wants to talk to you. She wants to make things right before it's too late. And as your father, I had the obligation to tell you what's going on so you can make a decision wisely.

Jungkook's fists tightened even more under the table, his knuckles white as he fought back the emotions surging up inside him. He hated this -hated that he was being put in this position. Why should he forgive her? Why should he give her the peace she was asking for when she hadn't cared about the destruction she left behind?

But despite his anger, there was a gnawing doubt creeping in. His father's words echoed in his mind. Regrets. Would he regret this? Would he regret not answering her calls? Would he regret not hearing her out?

—I'm not telling you to forgive her —his father said softly, as if reading his thoughts—. I'm telling you to talk to her. Let her explain. Let her say what she needs to say. And if, after that, you still feel the same...then at least you'll know you gave her the chance.

Jungkook stared at the table, his mind a whirlwind of conflicting emotions. He hated the idea of seeing her, of hearing her excuses, of facing the pain that had shaped so much of his life. But he also hated the idea of living with the weight of unresolved anger, of never knowing what she wanted to say.

—I don't know if I can do that —Jungkook finally admitted, his voice raw.

For a long moment, Jungkook didn't say anything else. He just sat there, staring at the table, grappling with the storm inside him.

Y/n huffed when walking upstairs, feeling the weight of her disappointment at herself on her back, making that route even more difficult than usual.

She didn't even flinch when she suspected he was ten minutes late, but as the clock started running, and she kept waiting for him at the entrance of her building with almost five missing calls and seven unread texts at her back, she finally gave up.

There was no doubt in her mind that assured her he probably realized how dumb that whole situation was.

Her tracks stopped by her doorstep, surprised at the lock shining bright, the brand new golden metal adorning her full door. She was so surprised to see it brand new, that she didn't notice the small note hanging in the middle.

Jungkook bothered to call a locksmith, so they'd repair the lock. And, when she stepped inside, she also noticed he spent a fair quality of time on cleaning up everything inside. As much as she wanted to enjoy the peace coming from its tidy nature, her body froze at the door frame, fingers fidgeting over the wood as she tried to encourage herself to step inside.

The steps coming from the stairs were the only excuse she needed to keep herself from stepping inside, finding him with his head hanging low, shoulders slumped.

—I knew your head was a mess, but forgetting about your own idea? —her tongue clicked, walking towards him— I forgive you, because of what you did to my apartment, but you'll have to beg a lot for me to...

His eyes were red, swollen as if he'd been crying for hours. She froze, surprised to see him like this -raw, vulnerable, and completely unlike the teasing, confident man she was used to.

Hearing her voice was like someone throwing a life jacket at him in the middle of the ocean. He didn't say anything, didn't explain. He just wrapped his arms around her tightly, burying his face against her neck. It wasn't the usual teasing or playful embrace. It was different. He was seeking comfort, grounding himself in her presence as though he might fall apart at any second.

Y/n stiffened at first, caught off guard by how sudden and intense it was, but then she softened, wrapping her arms around him in return. She held him as he clung to her, his breath heavy against her skin, his body trembling slightly. She wasn't used to seeing him like that, wasn't used to him needing her like that.

—Let's go inside —she suggested softly, fingers caressing his nape.

He followed her inside, not wanting to do anything else that wasn't being by her side. Her hand closed around his, leading him to her couch. His grip was tighter when she attempted to leave to the kitchen to get him a glass of water, not wanting to let go of her, not even for five minutes.

After a long, heavy silence, he finally spoke, his voice weak:

—She's dying... my mom...

Y/n blinked, her heart aching as she heard the pain in his voice. She stayed quiet, giving him the space to open up, to let out what he needed to say.

—I've been ignoring her calls for months —he continued, his voice strained with guilt—. I didn't want to hear from her, didn't want to deal with the mess she left behind. But now... now she's dying, and I... —his voice broke, and he pulled back slightly to look at her, his eyes filled with uncertainty—. What am I supposed to do, Y/n? How am I supposed to... deal with this?

She stared at him, the vulnerability in his eyes piercing her heart. Jungkook had always seemed so invincible to her, always the strong one, the careless person who wouldn't be affected by anything. But now, sitting next to her, he was just a man who had been hurt, who was struggling with the weight of his own emotions.

She cupped his face gently, brushing away a stray tear with her thumb.

—You are allowed to feel hurt, Jungkook. You are allowed to be angry.

He closed his eyes, leaning into her touch, the exhaustion clear in every inch of him.

—I don't even know if I can forgive her —he whispered—. But I don't want to hate her anymore, either. It's eating me up.

It was a difficult situation and she wasn't sure she'd react the same way in his position. If her father showed up out of nowhere, telling her he's dying, she highly doubted she'd be that affected.

Y/n nodded, understanding.

—Then talk to her. Even if it's hard, even if it hurts. Tell her how you feel. You don't have to forgive her right away, but maybe... maybe you'll find peace in at least letting her know how much she hurt you. And maybe it won't make you feel better, but maybe you need to hear what she wanted to say when she came looking for you. Even if it's to give closure to this and start healing.

Jungkook swallowed hard, his hands gripping her waist as if she were the only thing keeping him steady.

—What if I make that decision too late? What if I never get the chance?

—You still have time —she said softly, her fingers tracing the outline of his jaw—. But don't waste it. Go see her. You deserve to say what you need to say, and she deserves to hear it. I'll go with you if you need it.

His eyes sparkled some hope when she said those last words, finally moving to rest his head on hers.

For a moment, they sat there in silence, his head resting against hers as he took in her words. He had been holding onto so much pain for so long, and now, with Y/n's arms around him, it felt like some of the weight was finally lifting.

—I'm scared —he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper.

He was scared of hearing her reasons and realizing he had wasted time hating her. He was scared of finding out he took a second chance away from someone who deserved it.

—I know —she murmured, pressing a soft kiss to his forehead—. But you're not alone.

Jungkook looked up at her, his eyes filled with gratitude. And for the first time in what felt like forever, he felt like he had someone who understood, someone who wasn't going to let him fall apart.

He didn't have all the answers yet. But in that moment, with Y/n holding him close, he knew he wasn't facing this pain alone anymore.

Taglist: @jk97bam @ttanniett

[lowkeycasanova]

tatted

plot: you finally get your first tattoo

-------------------------------------------------------

The idea of a tattoo had been on your mind forever. But in reality, you weren't too sure if you wanted one. Second guessing yourself with thoughts like, "Do I really want this?" and "What if it doesn't come out right?"

Ultimately you decided, fuck it, you were gonna do it.

When you told Vinnie, his eyes lit up. He was so excited for you, obviously.

You told him that you had been looking around at different parlors but there was no way he was letting you go to some random place. He insisted that you go to Arbel, the woman that has done all of his ink since he loved to LA.

He helped you get an appointment with her. She was booked up for the next two months and usually people had to submit a form when they want to book with her. But because Vinnie was a frequent client and friend, she made an exception. Perks.

In two days, you'd be getting your tattoo. Vinnie was enthusiastic, showing you different ideas but you had to remind him that you were getting one thing. One small thing.

"The only thing I'm concerned about is how much it would hurt." you told him.

He shrugged. "It depends on location and how high your pain tolerance is. Like this," he grabbed a mechanical pencil and gestured for you to give him your hand. He pressed the lead down like he was drawing.

"That's so uncomfortable." you retracted.

"It may not feel like that but it gives you an idea."

The afternoon of your appointment, Vinnie ushered you to the couch inside the warehouse as that's where it would be taking place.

"I can't believe you're just now getting some ink."

You got comfortable in your seat. " Well it would've been sooner if I could have made up my mind."

Arbel set up her equipment and smiled to herself as she listen to you and Vinnie talk.

"So what are you getting today?" she asked and put on her black gloves.

You showed her the picture saved in your camera roll. A small black diamond on the underside of the wrist.

"That's cute!" she exclaimed. "I like you. You make things easy for me unlike your boyfriend."

Vinnie rolls his eyes and scoffs.

You turn to lay your head on the arm of the couch while Arbel brings her chair over to you. Vinnie has a huge smile on his face.

She sanitizes the area and does the outline all until she pulls out the gun with the permanent ink. That's when the nerves start to kick in.

Like oh shit, this is really happening.

Vinnie hovers over you on the other side of the couch. "Do you wanna hold-"

You nodded without hesitating and grab his hand. Every so often, he'd give you a reassuring squeeze.

You look over at your wrist, watching Arbel being very focused. Then she noticed you watching.

"You know, most people tend to look away."

"It's actually not as bad as I thought."

"You're doing great." Vinnie chimes in.

When she finishes, you quickly look at her work. She did so good, looks just like the picture.

"Oh my god!" you gasp, covering your mouth with your hand. Vinnie is amused by your reaction. "It's great!" You nearly put your wrist in his face so he can get a better look.

Arbel then puts a sterile bandage around it. It creates an occlusive seal, so no air gets in and out. And makes sure that the temperature on the skin stays constant so it doesn't create a breeding ground for bacteria. Ultimately, protecting the tattoo while it's still fresh.

"Oh fuck, now I have to tell my mom."

"You didn't tell her you were getting a tattoo?!" Vinnie questions.

You shake your head.

"Oohh you're gonna be in trouble."

"Why don't we call your mom?"

He laughs. "My mom already knows about mine. She doesn't care...anymore."

"I meant we can tell her about mine."

"Stop stalling. I dare you to Facetime your mom right now."

He was right. Might as well get it over with.

You pull your phone out your back pocket and call her. But hoping that she's at work and can't talk. Nope.

"Hey mom."

"Hi Y/N, how are you?"

"I'm good, I wanted to show you something."

"Alright."

You hesitate for a moment just giving her a smile and she looks confused. "Stay calm, okay?"

"Don't make me nervous now. It's nothing bad is it?"

"No." you laugh nervously.

You held up your wrist to the camera and she brought her face closer to the phone to see better.

"What did you do?" she asked, but the tone of her voice gave away that fact that she knew.

"It's real." you said, still holding it up and Vinnie, out of frame, caressed it with his fingers, which she could see on screen and you yanked your arm away. "Stop, it hurts."

Your mom sighed on the other end.

"Do you like it?" you asked, really curious.

"Yeah...it looks nice." she replied. You could tell she wanted to say more but held her tongue back. You were an adult after all.

"Now Vinnie," she started. "Don't influence her."

"Hey!" he blurt out in defense open-mouthed, wondering how in the hell she knew he was right there.

[still-a-morosexual-help]

A Maskless Masquerade?

@wanderwelle

Dialogue is HEAVILY paraphrased & the events are HEAVILY summarised/edited so this is in no way a substitute to reading the actual Devilgram

Asmo invites Mammon & MC to his "new & improved" Masquerade party where the masks are provided at the party itself. Mammon picks out a raven mask that disappears the second he puts it on (then what's the fucking point of having a Masquerade!? The whole point is the mysterious masks! This is a fancy influencer party though so...).

"I can't believe Asmo just fucking scammed us wtf" says MC

"Right!? Where the fuck's the manager!? No wait fuck it where's Asmo!" screams Mammon

Which catches Asmo's attention, who basically says "I was wondering what all the yelling was about but seeing as it's the two of you it makes sense now."

Mammon complains about the mask and Asmo says these masks are meant to disappear once they're put on (are you sure this isn't a scam?") and that they also have magic powers (don't YOU have magic powers!?).

MC picks out a mask but all it does is turn invisible because this one's one of the duds that are mixed in with the rest.

"And :) you :) can't :) choose :) another :)" says Asmo

"This is fucking bullshit" says Mammon

Asmo says there's a button in the corner of the mask if they want to take it off. He tells them to have fun and leaves them to it. Mammon says he doesn't fully get the hype but they can still have fun with just his mask

< - >

Mammon's cussing Asmo out for not really telling them how to use the mask and MC suggests moving his arms about because it's a bird mask. Mammon does so and black feathers appear around them & he then asks MC to dance with him in a shower of feathers.

If MC takes the lead he laughs brightly and says they're feeling confident.

If he takes the lead he ends up dragging them too close (by accident? Because he seems surprised by them ending up so close to him. It feels/sounds like he grabbed their hand and maybe pulled them to him.) He blushes and looks aside and tells them that for this song they need to dance close together and then MC goes:

If they say the first one he snaps that they're wrong which makes them start laughing.

If they say the second one, they press even closer to him which makes him stutter & blush and say that he didn't mean that close but he doesn't mind.

The other masks are letting out bubbles and confetti.

MC says the masks look like they'll be a big hit & Mammon draws them closer to take a picture - promising to send it to them later.

< - >

The others masks can all do more than one type of magic and Mammon wonders what else his can do. He finds a sheet of paper saying that each mask has a specific set of instructions written on the inside. He says he can't remember seeing anything but takes off his to check again.

The instructions ask him to raise his arms above his head.

He says the instructions are vague because they don't really say what that's supposed to do. MC says it builds up more suspense that way and he smiles and says he didn't think about that & that they always find a way to put a positive spin on things, which is one of the things he likes about them.

Raising his hands makes a large fan appear and MC suggests he try fanning it. He agrees but asks them to get behind him first cause they don't know what the fan will actually do (🥺).

The fan makes him start floating and he waves it at MC to get them floating too. They say it feels awesome and he laughs and says they're good at it but to not get ahead of themself or they may crash

One of the masks has started conjuring up balloons but they don't stop, making the entire room fill with too many balloons and sending Mammon crashing towards the wall

< - >

MC grabs Mammon and pulls him closer to them and away from the balloons. They crash into each other and he thanks them before realising they're holding him really close and he blushes and snaps at them to let him go cause they're gonna give him a bigger heartattack than nearly crashing into the wall did

He distracts them by telling them they should get back to dancing and he conjures up more more feathers and MC easily takes the bait - happy to get distracted if that means they get to praise Mammon. He laughs and they end up dancing the night away.

They were allowed to take the masks with them as souvenirs, and on the way home Mammon suddenly gets serious and says he wants to try something.

MC, ever the opportunist and ever the simp, says : Like holding hands? *^*

He stutters and blushes and says that's not what he meant but if they really want to they can. He then notes that their hands are warm (this is the third Devilgram where Mammon's commented on how warm MC/MC's hands are and I dunno I just think it's neat).

Anyway what he actually wanted to try was to use his mask's magic to fly home (my guy, you have wings)

"Fuck yeah!" says MC

Mammon says that MC's got better at keeping their balance and asks how they're doing. But before they can reply a gust of strong wind blows towards them and in a parallel to the last time, Mammon ends up pulling MC towards him to keep them safe.

Mammon's expresses worry and MC, ever the opportunist and ever the simp, says "Hey how about I kiss you as a thank you for saving me?" And then they kiss him without waiting for a reply.

Mammon's taken completely by surprise and can only stutter out some noises before he sighs and tells them that they're playing dirty.

They kiss him again because they're an ass like that and he's shocked silent this time before he tells them there's something about them... He then snaps and tells them he wants to kiss them again and that he's not letting them go until they get home, wondering how many kisses it'll take till they have to land

And then to the dismay of everyone below them, they make out during the whole ride home

The End

In the first chat Mammon says that the masks are gaining a lot of popularity and that he bets the creator sponsored the whole party as a way to boost said popularity

He's proven right in the next chat when Asmo, on their group chat, says that he was given the masks and asked to invite a lot of influencers to the party.

~

The little brooch on the picture on the left is similar to the large one he had in his Lord of Fools costume. Though the one on the Fools costume is very obviously a sun.

It kills me that Lucifer's the "Morning Star" but Mammon's got more sun symbolism

[chaeryybomb]

TRAITOR

pairings: female reader x lee heeseung

summary: you thought lee heeseung was the best boyfriend you could ever wished for. but they did warn you about long distanced relationships. at first, you convinced yourself that it was just your insecurities taking over. but your gut feeling has never been wrong

genre: college au, lovers to exes, fluff, angst, sad ending

featuring: kang hyewon, shin ryujin, lee chaeryeong, lee daehwii, yang jeongin & zhong chenle

word count: 10.4k

warnings: breaking up, mentions of insecurity and cheating, arguments, strong language

the sour series masterlist

Setting down the final box on the ground, you released a sigh of relief and stretched your arms upwards. The satisfying sounds of your joints popping gave you a sense of relief as you stretched. Then you felt a pair of arms snake around your waist. You smiled as you took in his familiar scent. You reached up to touch his neck as Heeseung pressed a kiss to the side of your head.

"Thank you for your help, lovely," he mumbled in your hair.

You turned around in his arms and clasped your hands behind his neck, toying with the back of his hair. Lee Heeseung was looking at you with pure love in his eyes and you couldn't be more happy. "I can't believe we're both finally in university," he said, squeezing your waist.

"Hmm yeah, finally out of high school," you hummed. "It's sad that we didn't get into the same university though," you cupped his left cheek, rubbing his cheek lovingly with your thumb.

Heeseung nuzzled into your hand, slowly drawing you closer. "I can always drive to your dorm, it's just a three hour drive from here."

"Or I can drive to you," you replied.

He scoffed, "Yeah if you get your driver's license," he teased.

You rolled your eyes and softly punched him on the chest before pushing yourself away from his embrace. "Listen, not all of us can miraculously pass on their first try okay," you defended yourself but Heeseung just laughed at you.

Although you tried to act like you were mad at his joke, you couldn't wipe the smile off your face as you sat down on his bed. Currently, the two of you were in Heeseung's dorm. You wanted to help him move in before you had to leave. Heeseung and you were high school sweethearts, the school's loveliest couple. And you've been together ever since then. Today marked a new milestone for the both of you as you had finally graduated from high school and now both of you were accepted into different universities.

The both of you had decided to do what's best for each other and went to different schools. It was for the sake of your future, you didn't want to cause a commotion just because you guys were three hours apart. Plus, it was just three hours. Heeseung could always come visit you and video calls were a thing. You're friends were scared that the both of you wouldn't survive a long distance relationship but you had faith in each other. And that was enough.

Heeseung was lucky to have a room all for himself, whereas you had to share a dorm with two other girls. His room was small but big enough for one person. You knew Heeseung was a simple man, if it had a bed and a table, that would be enough for him. A knock on the door caught your attention, you suddenly remembered that you guys had left the door open when you were moving boxes.

Outside the door stood a pretty girl with long blonde hair. She was really pretty, you noted. She looked so natural as a blonde as well, you couldn't help but thought. The pretty girl sent both of you an awkward smile and waved. You stood up and walked to her, somewhat excited to make a new friend.

"Hi!" You greeted her with a smile, you felt Heeseung behind you.

"Hi," she mirrored your smile. "I'm Hyewon, I'm from the room next door," she pointed out.

"Oh! I'm Heeseung," the taller boy introduced himself. "And this is my girlfriend, Y/N," he smiled at you.

"It's nice to meet you, are you both music majors too?" Hyewon asked. It was common for Hyewon to ask that, considering the university Heeseung applied for is known for their music stream. Heeseung was extremely talented, being blessed with a heavenly voice and all. It was his dream to pursue a music career. Thanks to you, he found the courage to do so,

"Oh no, just him. I don't actually go here," you immediately told her. "I actually go to George University instead."

"Oh! So you're a theatre major then," Hyewon said, surprising you a bit. You nodded in return and Hyewon's smile seemed to grow wider. The university you applied to was quite well known for its theatre arts course. "That's so cool, I'm a theatre major too!"

Your eyes lit up in excitement and you stepped closer to the blonde, eager to learn more about her. But before you could ask her anything, your phone chimed. You gave her an apologetic look before checking your phone. "It's my mom, she's asking when I'll be home. I still have to pack up," you said disappointed. You really wanted to talk more with Hyewon so the both of you could geek out. (And spend a bit more time with Heeseung.) Hyewon looked disappointed too that you couldn't stay longer.

"Let me drive you home," Heeseung started to move to get his keys but you placed your hand on his arm to stop him.

"Nah, it's fine," you shook your head. "I can take the bus home."

"Then I'll walk you to the bus stop," Heeseung said with determination. He was gonna make use of whatever time he had to spend it with you, even if it was for five seconds.

You realised that there was no way of rejecting him, so you just chuckled and said, "Alright, let me grab my bag then." But Heeseung was already one step ahead of you as he had already gone to get it for you. You sent another smile to Hyewon. "It was really great to meet you, Hyewon. I hope we can talk again soon," you told her.

"Likewise Y/N, have a safe trip home," she bid you goodbye before returning to her room.

Heeseung appeared behind you once again, sneakily slipped his fingers through yours and pulled you out of the room. He locked the door with your bag on his shoulder, he looked like he had the intention of not letting you hold it.

"C'mon," he tugged your hand and you giggled, falling into step with him.

The walk to the bus stop felt quicker than it should be, much to your dismay. The bus stop was empty besides the both of you. As the two of you stood under it, you mindlessly swung your intertwined hands back and forth. Heeseung laughed at your action. He released your hand and you looked up curious on why he did it. Heeseung moved so he was standing behind you and wrapped his arms around you, effectively back hugging you.

Your lips tugged upward at the position you were and you held onto his arms. Slowly, he started to rock you back and forth. "I'm gonna miss you," he suddenly said.

You couldn't help but let your smile falter. You were gonna miss him too, you're gonna miss him so much. "This is the first time where we'll be so far apart, I think I might die without you," he rubbed his face into your hair as you laughed at his words.

"I'll call you everyday, Hee. I promised," you assured him with a pat on his arm. The taller boy only hummed in reply but you felt him move his arms to your middle so he could bury his face in the crook of your neck. You giggled when you felt him peppered small kisses up around your neck.

"I love you," he mumbled before pressing a loving kiss to the top of your head.

"Love you too," you leaned back into him.

Just in time you saw the bus in the distance, which meant your time with Heeseung was ending. As the bus slowed down in front of you, your boyfriend finally reluctantly let you go from his slip. "I'll see you soon, okay?" you promised him. He nodded and leaned down to give you one more kiss before you entered the bus.

Sitting down, you waved from the window and he gave you a smile. Oh god, you already missed him. Heeseung watched as your bus left the station. You sighed, leaning back into the seat. This was the beginning of a new chapter of your relationship, and you have faith that the both of you will be okay.

"Thank you," you said to the barista as she handed you your coffee. With your free hand, you pushed the front door open. The November breeze welcomed you once you stepped outside, your coffee warming your fingertips. Your phone then started to ring in your pocket. You fished your phone out and a smile crept onto your face when you saw the contact name.

"Hello, love," Heeseung greeted as soon as you picked up. You smiled at him, holding your phone in front of your face.

"Good morning, Hee. I just got my coffee," you showed him your coffee like it was a little trinket. Heeseung laughed at your child-like action. The second semester was almost ending and your relationship was still going strong. The both of you were consistent with the video calls and text messages. You'd be calling him at the end of every day and the two of you would talk about your day till one of you fell asleep. (Spoiler: It was usually you.)

And now your second semester as a couple is ending, the both of you had decided to retreat back to your hometown during the break like you did during your first break. So you could bask in each other's presence and visit some old friends. It was slowly starting to become a tradition and you couldn't ask for anything more.

"So, how was your audition?" Heeseung asked as you walked past a group of band kids, sending them a smile as they waved at you.

At the mention of the audition, your smile turned into a pout. "Rejected, as usual," you sighed. You have auditioned for almost every play in your school but you were always rejected or chosen as a background character if you were lucky. You knew that there were a lot of talented students in your school, but you felt dejected each time.

"Sorry, love. I'm sure you'll have better luck next time," Heeseung told you with a sad smile. "I wish I could hold you right now."

You looked at him with a sad gaze, "Me too, Hee." You couldn't lie that long distance relationships were hard, everyday was spent through a screen and you yearned to be next with him physically. During the first few weeks, you told yourself that you would get used to it after a while. Spoiler alert, you still haven't gotten used to it. "But enough of that!" You said, waving away the depressed aura and taking a long sip from your coffee before letting out a sigh. "Our break is coming up and I can't wait to see you."

At the mention of the break, you noticed how Heeseung visibly flinched. His eyes suddenly weren't looking at you anymore, averting his gaze to the side instead. "We are going to be seeing each other, right?" You inquired. But you were met with silence, you stopped in your tracks when Heeseung didn't say anything. "Hee?"

"Actually, Y/N," he started to say and you felt your heart sink already. He didn't call you "love". Some may say you were being dramatic, but Heeseung only used your name whenever something was serious. You're not going to be able to see him during break, your mind told you. You knew it was the most possible outcome, but you hoped that you were wrong.

"I'm not going back during break."

And there it was, what possibly could have been the worse news for you. "Oh," was all you could say, your fingers tightened slightly around the plastic cup before you plastered on a fake smile. "Well, there's always next semester," you assured him, but it felt more like you were reassuring yourself. This was going to be your first winter break without Heeseung.

Heeseung smiled at your reply, a twinge of sadness in him but he brushed it off. "The reason is cause a senior from the film department asked me for help," he explained. "You see, there's a music video competition and he asked me if I could write a song for it."

Your eyes lit up in excitement. "No way! So they're gonna shoot a music video for your song?"

Heeseung nodded with a big smile. "Yup! It's such a big project, like they're bringing in some of the theatre kids as the actors and we're gonna start filming, like next month."

"I'm so happy for you, love," you told him truthfully. Internally, you were scolding yourself for feeling sad that he wouldn't be free during the break when he has something big going on in his life. Stop being so selfish, your mind scolded. Of course you felt a bit blue but this was a big opportunity for Heeseung, imagine if they won the competition. He would finally get some recognition for his music. And the fact that the senior chose him to write the song meant that people were already starting to appreciate his songs and his voice. You were being selfish, like a child.

As Heeseung continued to tell you about the project, you resumed your walk back to your dorms. You listened to him intensively, capturing every small detail in your heart. It was rare for you to see him speak so passionate. Music was his passion, his safe place. You knew that and you wanted him to live a life where he could make his dream a reality. A singer on the bright stage with thousands, no, millions of fans to appreciate his vocals.

You managed to reach your dorm just as Heeseung was being called for off screen. A feminine voice was calling from him and you easily recognised it. "Is that Hyewon?" You asked.

A few seconds passed and a familiar looking pretty blonde came into view. "Y/N? Y/N, hi!" The blonde waved at you enthusiastically, Heeseung was slowly being pushed out of the frame. You could tell he was scooting over to make space for Hyewon. An uneasy feeling slowly sprouted in you when you saw how Hyewon and Heeseung were sitting too close, but you shoved it down when the blonde girl grinned at you.

"Y/N!"

"Hyewon!" You responded with the same enthusiasm, which made the two of you burst into a fit of giggles.

"I'm so sorry for disturbing your time but Chan is looking for you," she apologised, the last part directed to your boyfriend.

"Ah, it's okay, I understand," you said.

"I'll talk to you later, okay? Love you," Heeseung said once Hyewon was out of frame.

"Love you too," you replied and your phone screen turned black, your reflection staring right back at you. You were frowning. With a sigh, you stuffed your phone back into your phone pocket to unlock your front door. Your coffee was now cold in your hands and the uneasy feeling from before was slowly creeping back in. You did not like it one bit.

Chaeryeong and Ryujin thought you were being dramatic, they were right in a way. But you were too busy missing Heeseung to be bothered. You missed his warmth, his voice, the way his hands perfectly fit yours when he held them. you missed the way you laid your head on his chest when he sat behind you, you could always hear his steady heartbeat. It always lulled you to sleep in seconds.

You let out a long and loud sigh as you flipped onto your back on your childhood bed. You had returned to your hometown one week ago, which also meant another week without Heeseung. Your best friend and roommate, Chaeryeong, was the one who drove you both home. The last time you saw her was when she dropped you off at your parents home. And you've been dwelling in your Heeseung-less days ever since.

Reaching over to retrieve your phone, you moved to open your chat with Heeseung. The last text message from him was from this morning. It was just a simple "good morning" text, and you replied with the same message except you added a heart emoticon at the end. And the message was on delivered. Not even on read. You don't know which one was worse.

Your phone suddenly dinged and you immediately sat up straight, thinking it was Heeseung. But your shoulders sagged in disappointment when you saw it was just a message from Jeongin. If Ryujin had seen you right now, the short hair girl would have called you a "lovesick fool". She was right, of course but still.

[2:42 pm] jeongin: guess what

[2:44 pm] chenle: what

[2:44 pm] jeongin: guess

[2:45 pm] chenle: no

[2:45 pm] chenle: just tell us

[2:46 pm] jeongin: g u e s s

[2:46 pm] chenle: n o

[2:46 pm] jeongin: guess goddammit

[2:48 pm] ryujin: jeongin i stg

[2:48 pm] ryujin: i will break ur kneecaps just tell us

[2:49 pm] jeongin: ugh fine theres a amusement park and i wanna go

[2:50 pm] chenle: its winter

[2:50 pm] jeongin: yeah and

[2:50 pm] jeongin: is there snow? no

[2:51 pm] jeongin: so therefore, amusement park

[2:51 pm] ryujin: i-

[2:52 pm] chaeryeong: where is it

[2:52 pm] jeongin: its like a 2 hours away from here

[2:54 pm] ryujin: and who tf would be driving us genius

[2:55 pm] jeongin: y/n bc she loves us

[2:56 pm] y/n: since when

[2:56 pm] chaeryeong: and shes alive, great job jeongin

[2:57 pm] chaeryeong: u pulled her out from her depression

i[2:58 pm] y/n: hey im not depressed >:(

[2:59 pm] ryujin: hm sure

[2:59 pm] y/n: >:(

[3:00 pm] y/n: also i dont have my drivers license yet dumbass

[3:01 pm] jeongin: ah right i also forgot y/n cant drive

[3:01 pm] jeongin: ryujin it is

[3:02 pm] ryujin: whAT I DID NOT AGREE TO THIS

[3:03 pm] chaeryeong: lets meet up at jeongin's place then

[3:03 pm] chenle: cool with me

[3:05 pm] ryujin: HEY DONT IGNORE ME

[3:04 pm] y/n: sure!

You stifled a laugh as you read Ryujin's message. Then, you switched to check your chat between Heeseung and you. It was still on delivered. Maybe he's just busy with filming and recording. Yeah, he's probably busy. Stop being so selfish, Y/N.

Yang Jeongin just had to choose the coldest day of the year to go to the amusement park, didn't he. You silently thanked yourself for dressing up in an extra layer, unlike Chenle who looked like he was about to die from frostbite. Whereas Jeongin had a huge grin plastered on his face as he looked at the Ferris Wheel ahead. You rubbed your hands together, bringing it to your mouth to blow hot air at it. You heard the car door slam shut behind you and Ryujin walked next to you.

Families lined up at the ticket booth, laughter and chatter filled the atmosphere. You spot some couples around the area as well, the sight of them tugged at your heartstrings. You wished Heeseung was here with you, he would've wanted to go on the Ferris Wheel with you.

Chaeryeong linked arms with you and Ryujin, leading the two of you to the entrance. The boys already beat you guys to it, you realised. Once Chenle handed you your ticket, you were immediately dragged to the first ride that caught Jeongin's eye.

After a couple of hours, you found yourself resting on the bench with a cup of hot chocolate at your side. Your social battery was empty and you didn't know where the rest of your friends had gone. Ryujin may have mentioned going to the restroom, you're not sure, you were too tired to keep up. So here you were, on the bench next to the Teacups Ride.

You watched as the visitors walked past you. Some were students with their friends laughing as if it was their last day on earth, children giggling as their parents lifted them up in the air and couples sharing a loving look. You fiddle with your phone, debating whether you wanted to text Heeseung or not.

The both of you had called each other last night. You couldn't see him but his voice sounded tired. You felt bad for calling him. Maybe it was for the best if you didn't. You picked up your hot chocolate, the warmth spreading through your fingers as you blew on it. Your body relaxed once you took a sip, enjoying as the warmth spread through your body. Out of the corner of your eye, you noticed a very familiar looking coat.

You saw a couple walking together, he was wearing a coat that looked identical to the one you gifted Heeseung last year during Christmas. It was almost as if that was Heeseung, well his back kinda looked like his and Heeseung was about that height as well. But it couldn't be him, his school was almost three hours away from here. Plus the girl beside him was blonde, she kinda looked like Hyewon.

What are the odds of those two being here, you laughed. But when those two stopped in their tracks to look at the Ferris Wheel, your entire body froze right there and then. That was Heeseung and Hyewon together. What were they doing here?

Your body reacted immediately by standing up. Heart beating rapidly, you were about to walk towards them when you saw Heeseung laughing at something the blonde said. A gnawing feeling grew in you, he was laughing with her. He was at the amusement park with her. Not you. Her.

And he never mentioned anything about going to the amusement park, let alone the same one you were going to. Your feet stayed glued to the ground as you watched them get into one of the carts. Why was he here? Why didn't he tell you? Why was he with her? Why? Why? Why?

You saw Hyewon stopped from getting into the cart and she stretched her hand out while she looked up in the sky, Heeseung following her. It was snowing. It was the first snow. And Heeseung spent it with Hyewon, while you watched from the sidelines. They looked like an actual couple. Snow started to fall, your hot chocolate was losing its warmth and jealousy filled up instead. The noise drilled out of your ear so all you heard was a low buzz, your gaze burning on the two. You didn't notice Ryujin walking towards you.

"Jesus, the line was so long that I-" Ryujin stopped mid sentence, her eyes following the direction of your gaze. "Y/N?"

You walked past her without saying anything, chucking the drink into a trashcan.

Your phone felt heavy in your hands as you paced around your room. You knew your eyes weren't wrong. It was Heeseung and Hyewon at the amusement park, you could tell it was him from a mile away. After that incident, you went to find your friends and told them you wanted to go home because you weren't feeling well. It was partially a lie anyway, you didn't feel comfortable. You don't know what you would do if you had stumbled upon them.

Thousands of questions echoed through your mind. And you couldn't bear to ask Heeseung. You knew you had questions but you didn't know what to ask. Why didn't you tell me? Why were you with Hyewon? Why wouldn't you tell me?

Your phone suddenly rang, causing you to jolt in surprise. The phone screen lit up with his name in bold. He was calling you. Without thinking, you accepted the call.

"Hey, love," Heeseung's smooth voice greeted you.

"Hey," you replied, making sure your tone was steady. You were silently grateful that it wasn't a video-call so he couldn't see the nervousness in your eyes.

"How was the amusement park?" He asked.

You bit your thumb, hesitant to answer. Should you tell him that you saw him today? "It was fun, a lot of people thought," you hummed, moving over to sit on your bed.

"You know, funny story. Today we actually went to an amusement park too," he suddenly said and you froze on the spot. "They decided to film there so we went there in the afternoon, it started snowing too!"

You felt a weight was lifted from your heart. So it was just a pure coincidence. Heeseung never planned to go to the amusement park, he just went with what they said. "It would've been funny if we bumped into each other, don't you think, love?" He laughed but you couldn't find the energy to laugh along.

"Yeah," you mumbled, leaning back into your pillows. He was there to film for the music video. He's busy with the music video. It's always for the music video. You trust Heeseung, don't you?

Winter break went by like the cold breeze and now cherry pink flowers occupied the empty branches. Flowers were blooming from the left and right, the cold winter was now in the past and you welcomed (the still cold) spring into your arms. Which meant you left whatever uneasy feeling and doubts in the past.

You were currently in Heeseung's dorm. Today was a big day, it's the day where they were gonna upload the music video and Heeseung wanted you to be there to watch it with him. Heeseung picked you up from the bus stop and then took you out for lunch. Thankfully it was the weekend so you could stay for the night.

Heeseung was at his desk, his thumbs typing away as he laughed silently at his phone. You wondered who he was texting. Maybe he's texting Hyewon, your mind taunted. You shook your head to drive the thoughts away, you were not going to be paranoid. You already left the bitter feelings in winter, you agreed with yourself that you'll leave it behind. You trust Heeseung.

"Who are you texting?" Yet the question slipped out of you either way.

"Huh?" Heeseung looked up, like a deer caught in headlights. "Oh, uh no one," he quickly said, turning off his phone and placing it on his desk. "I think the music video is uploaded," he added before you could question him more.

He moved to his bed, where you were sitting. You scooted over to make space for him as he sat next to you with his laptop propped on his lap. He clicked into his senior's channel, Jeong Yunho, you took note. And there it was, the music video, uploaded forty five seconds ago. You let out an excited noise once you saw it.

"Not for sale," you read the title out loud. Heeseung had a proud look on.

The music video started off with a frame of Heeseung and Hyewon facing each other, then he handed her a note with the words "Not For Sale" on it. The camera then panned out to film the sky where the title appeared again in bold, and the song started to play. The song had a bubbly beat to it and Heeseung's angelic voice accompanied it. The music video was filled with pastels and some scenes were filmed at the amusement park. Specifically, at the carousel. There weren't any scenes of the Ferris Wheel though, you noted.

The video ended with Heeseung and Hyewon holding hands as they face the sunset, while the camera slowly zooms away from them and into the sky. The last scene was a black screen with all the credits listed out. When you saw Heeseung's name being credited for writing the song, you felt a sense of pride inside of you. Your boyfriend wrote this song, of course you're going to be proud.

Once the video ended, you threw your arms around Heeseung. Heeseung laughed as he wrapped an arm around your middle and the other holding onto his laptop. You planted a big fat kiss on his cheek and he tightened his hold on you.

"The song was so good, Hee! I'm so proud of you, babe," you complimented him, one hand reaching up to ruffle his hair while the other cupped his cheek.

Heeseung smiled and leaned into your touch. "Thank you so much, lovely. This song means a lot to me," he kissed your nose. "I actually thought of you when I wrote this song," he confessed.

You blinked at him, your heart beating faster as you processed his words. You were kneeling on his bed as he looked up at you, pink dusted on his cheeks. Instead of saying anything, you threw yourself onto him, tightly wrapping your arms around his torso to buried your head in his neck. Heeseung let out an "oof" when you knocked him back onto his bed, his laptop on the edge of his bed.

"I love you," you mumbled.

"I love you, too," he said. His hand reached up to stroke your head as the both of you laid there in each other's embrace.

A few minutes passed and Heeseung tapped on your head to get your attention. "Hm?" you hummed in reply.

"I need to go pee, love."

"No," you said stubbornly, tightening your arms around him.

"Please, love. I'll be back fast, I promise," Heeseung told you, looking down on you.

You lifted your head to rest your chin on his chest as you narrowed your eyes at him. "Hng, fine," you pouted before you rolled off him.

"Thank you, lovely," he pecked your lips before pushing himself off his bed, not before moving his laptop to his desk.

You watched as Heeseung left his dorm to go to the restroom. You stretched your arms upwards, making grabby hands in the air before sitting up. You reached over to his desk, which was next to the bed, to get your phone when you saw Heeseung's phone lit up. You knew you shouldn't have looked but when her name was in bold white, you couldn't look away.

[4:47 pm] hyewon: can't wait to do it again hee!

"Can't wait to do it again?" You read the message out loud. Can't wait to do what again? And since when did Hyewon called him "Hee"? That was your nickname for him. The bitter feelings from winter crept back into you like the cold seeping in through the crack of your window. Why did you feel so uneasy whenever Hyewon was alone with Heeseung? Was there something going on?

No, they're just friends, Y/N, you reminded yourself. Just friends.

The door opened and your eyes snapped up to see Heeseung returning from the restroom. Suddenly, you wanted to get out of here. You don't know why, but that text message from her just rubbed you the wrong way and you wanted to get out of there before you say something you regret.

"Ryujin just texted me that she needs my help," you lied. You stood up to grab your coat and bag from the chair.

"Woah, woah, what's with the hurry?" Heeseung took a hold of your wrist as he looked at you. But your eyes didn't meet his.

"Ryujin has an emergency, she needs my help," you said again, this time firmly.

"Oh," his grip on you loosened and you pulled your hand back to you. "I'll drive you back-"

"No, it's fine," you cut him off. "I-I'll take the bus home. I'll call you tonight," the words rushed out of your lips and soon enough you were out of his door.

You did not call him that night.

You ignored Ryujin's questions when you reached your dorm, she didn't press on. Now it was Sunday morning and Ryujin had left for breakfast. You felt bad for leaving Heeseung like that and ignoring Ryujin when she just wanted to help you. And you knew you should've talked it out instead of walking out. Sighing, you curled deeper into your blanket.

After a few minutes, you threw your covers off and sat up. Maybe some warm breakfast would make you feel better. So you went down to the cafeteria to see your friends all huddled up at the corner.

"Y/N, just in time!" Jeongin called out. Curious, you walked towards them and saw that they were watching Heeseung's music video.

"The song is so sweet," Chaeryeong cooed, leaning onto you.

You let out an awkward laugh, not quite sure what to feel because of the act you pulled yesterday.

"It has almost two thousand views. I bet you must feel so proud, huh," Chaeryeong said.

You bit the inside of your cheek as you nodded. Now you feel even more bad, Heeseung wrote this song for you and you should've stayed at his dorm to celebrate with him. Instead, you left because you saw one text message without context. You were being a bad girlfriend, you should apologise to him.

"Who's the other girl? She's really pretty," Jeongin suddenly asked.

"Ah, that's Hyewon. She's his neighbour," you explained.

"Hyewon? As in Kang Hyewon?" Daehwii suddenly said. He was passing by when he heard you say her name and pulled a chair across Jeongin. You nodded. "Oh, I know her," he casually said.

You tilted your head to the side. "You do?" Jeongin leaned forward. You heard Ryujin mumble "simp" under her breath, and you bit back a laugh.

"Mhmm," Daehwii nodded and pulled out his phone. A few seconds later, he showed his phone screen and it was Hyewon's Instagram. "I went to the same high school with her, she was really popular. All the teachers said she had the face of an actress. There was a rumour that she even got scouted by an entertainment company."

Ryujin reached over to grab his phone to scroll through her account. "Woah, she has like two hundred thousand followers," she said in amazement. You leaned closer to Ryujin to check, Hyewon sure was popular.

"Yeah, she's a free-lance model and I think she models for smaller brands," Daehwii added.

You couldn't help but feel very small next to her. She was beautiful and she had somewhat of a reputation in the entertainment industry, a rising model. Imagine what kind of connections she could get for Heeseung…

"I bet Heeseung wrote this song for you," Ryujin suddenly said, smoothly switching the topic back to the song.

You felt your cheeks to warm up at her words. Sheepishly, you nodded. Your friends immediately reacted with a chorus of "ooh"s and Chaeryeong playfully nudged your shoulder. "Fuck Romeo and Juliet, I want what these bitches have," Jeongin quoted and the rest of you fell into laughter.

After breakfast, you and Ryujin strolled back to your rooms with your arms linked together. She was telling you about what happened when you weren't here yesterday. "And then he said and I quote "sometimes bullying is okay" just as a family was walking by, the mom was literally glaring at us," you laughed as she told you. "And then- oh," she stopped, and you stopped as well. She was looking ahead of you so you followed her gaze.

"Heeseung?" His name left your lips before you could even process the whole situation.

Heeseung waved awkwardly at you, internally wincing when you used his full name. You and Ryujin exchanged a look before Ryujin pushed you towards him. You stumbled right into his arms but you took a step out of his arms, you rubbed your forearms instead.

"What are you doing here?" You asked him.

"Ah," he rubbed the back of his neck, "I wanted to surprise you since you left early yesterday. I hope you were able to solve Ryujin's problem."

At the mention of Ryujin's "emergency", you stiffened because you didn't mention that you had used her in a lie. You could feel her eyes on you and mentally hope that she got the message.

"Uh, yeah. It was solved," Ryujin replied with an awkward chuckle. "Actually, I forgot I had to meet up with Chaeryeong so it was great seeing you, Heeseung." You turned around and mouthed a "thank you" at her and she gave you a look as if to say "we are going to talk about this later".

And then the two of you were left alone in the empty hallway. Was it always this awkward?

Heeseung stood awkwardly in your room. This was the first time he looked so out of place. Usually, you were the one at his dorm. He doesn't come over to yours that often since he was more busy than you. So it truly was a surprise when you saw him outside your door.

"So, uh, how are you?" He asked.

You hummed in reply. "I'm doing fine," as you sat down on your bed.

"Great! That's great," he coughed while he played with his fingers.

And then the awkward silence returns. You knew it was your fault for walking out yesterday, you probably made him think he did something wrong. When really it was just you refusing to communicate. You gripped your sheets, your mind running laps on what to say. But he beat you to it.

"Did I do something wrong?"

Your eyes snapped up to finally meet his eyes, he was looking at you with brown innocent eyes. Your heart broke a bit at the sight. "It's not you," you assured him. "It's…it's just me," you told him truthfully.

Heeseung looked at you with confusion, he didn't understand what was wrong. He wanted to help but he didn't know how. So instead, he slowly moved to sit next to you. When you did not move away, he took it as a sign of permission. So he took your hands into his, slowly rubbing circles on top of your hand.

"I'm sorry," you whispered.

"Love, what are you even sorry about?" He softly asked.

"I saw you at the amusement park that day," you confessed.

Heeseung's fingers stopped moving. "Oh," was all he could say. You bit the inside of your cheek, the atmosphere shifted but you can't read him at all.

"I'm sorry," you whispered again because you didn't know what to say. "Ever since that day, I've been feeling weird whenever I see you with Hyewon and I don't like it."

"Love," he softly cupped your cheek to make you look at him, "are you perhaps jealous?" he asked with a teasing tone. You shifted your gaze to the side, you were jealous but you were reluctant to admit it. But your avoiding eyes already sold you out. Heeseung chuckled and brought you into his embrace. "There's nothing to be jealous of. Hyewon and I are just friends," he assured you.

His voice was genuine when he told you and you felt a sense of relief hearing him say those words. You fell forward to hug him and Heeseung immediately accepted you. He planted a kiss on the top of your head and sighed. "Next time we're gonna be honest with each other, okay?"

"Okay."

Heeseung was right, honesty was the key to maintaining a healthy relationship, Heeseung has been nothing but truthful to you since the start, and you allowed yourself to be overwhelmed by your insecurities instead of talking it out. This reminded you of when Heeseung once shut you out because he didn't want to burden you.

He hid his passion for music from you because he thought you would react like his parents, against him. He refused to tell you the truth which left you confused and hurt. Did I do something wrong? The question was constantly in your head. It wasn't until you forced it out of him, and it was the first time you saw his composed figure break down in tears. You embraced him and assured him with comforting words, you loved him at his worst.

And you told him the exact same words: "Next time we're gonna be honest with each other, okay?"

Exam season was the most painful time of your life. Everyday was the same routine: wake up, eat, study, sleep and repeat. You're starting to spend more time in the library than in the comfort of the dorm. Heeseung was just as busy as you, the both of you rarely have enough time to check up on each other. But you tried and so did he.

You plucked out your earphones and let it fall into your lap as you stretched your arms upwards. Chaeryeong and Ryujin were scattered around your shared room, with the latter laying face down on her bed. The three of you had spent your entire morning studying for your own examinations. You had sent Heeseung a quick good morning text before telling him that your phone will be on silent mode until you were done.

That was six hours ago. You pushed your laptop away from you as you reached over for your phone. You smiled when you saw your first notification was from your boyfriend.

[8:15 am] hee <3: okay remember to stay hydrated love! and take some breaks in between!!!

"Look at her, smiling all lovey dovey and shit," Ryujin sneered at you in disgust as she lifted herself onto her elbows.

You stuck your tongue out at her before typing a reply.

[3:52 pm] y/n: guess who's done studying?? 

While waiting for his reply, you decided to scroll through Instagram. Tapping through people's stories, you stumbled upon Hyewon's one. (She had followed you a few weeks ago.) Your thumb pressed down on your phone screen as your breath hitched. It was a photo of Heeseung, it looked like he was in the library and he was reading a book. The words "with mr. hardworking" positioned above his head. You tapped through to the next slide and it was a candid of Heeseung looking up at her with a smile, his hand outreached to grab her phone. This time the words "oops, got caught" were written on the side. You checked and saw it was posted ten minutes okay.

You frowned at the two photos. You knew Heeseung said they were just friends, but you couldn't shake that uneasy feeling away. Your mind was telling you that they weren't but your heart was with Heeseung.

"Who's that?" Chaeryeong suddenly asked.

You jump, startled. Since when was she behind you? Chaeryeong ignored your expression and leaned towards your phone. "Isn't that Heeseung? Who's he with?" She asked.

"Hyewon," you answered.

Ryujin crawled over to plop down next to you, her curious eyes peering up at your phone. "The same girl we saw at the amusement park?" The short-haired girl asked.

You looked down at her, shocked. You never told her about what you saw last winter. Ryujin understood your expression and rolled her eyes. "I'm not dumb, Y/N," she said.

Chaeryeong looked between the two of you with confusion. "Did something happen when we were at the amusement park?"

"Y/N saw Heeseung and Hyewon getting on the Ferris Wheel together."

"Ryujin!"

"What?" She shrugged at you. "We did see them there and it was the reason you were upset," she stated with her arms crossed, now sitting crossed legged next to you.

Chaeryeong gasped beside you and placed her hands in front of her mouth. "Do you think he's cheating on you?"

"Chaeryeong!" Ryujin hissed at the other girl. "Heeseung isn't the kind to do that," she defended him despite what she said before, "right, Y/N?" Ryujin nudged your elbow.

You opened your mouth to defend your boyfriend but no words were said. You bit your lips, Heeseung wouldn't be the kind to cheat, right? Then why were you hesitating? You wanted to agree with Ryujin and say that Heeseung would never cheat on you. So why were you doubting him?

"I'm just saying, long distance relationships never work out. Like Yeji and Soobin, they broke up like six months later," Chaeryeong shrugged innocently and leaned back on her hands as she spoke.

"But that was different, Yeji never really liked him anyways!" Ryujin countered.

"Vivi and Haseul! Everyone thought they were gonna last but they broke up the moment Vivi went home, and they were together for four years. Four years, Ryujin!" The younger girl exclaimed. "Point is, long distance relationships rarely work out."

Before Ryujin could retort, your phone lit up and all three of you looked down. It was a notification from Heeseung.

[4:01 pm] hee <3: hey sorry i was with taehyun

The three of you blinked at the message, Ryujin and Chaeryeong exchanged a look. While you just stared at the notification, refusing to tap into the chat. Did Heeseung just lie to you?

Something shifted in your relationship, you could tell. Calls with Heeseung were now cut short and text messages got short. At first, you blamed it on the upcoming exams and you told yourself that Heeseung was equally busy as you. Sometimes you were too tired to send a text because all you wanted was to sleep but when you tried to give him a call, he always brushed you off with a "I'm busy" text.

Text messages now never got past the "how was your day" before he said that he was going to sleep. Ever since that day with Ryujin and Chaeryeong, you turned a blind eye to the text message. Maybe he really was with Taehyun, you wouldn't actually know.

But that's the thing, isn't it? You would never know what really happens because you're not there with him, your mind taunted you. You shook away the thoughts and tried to be positive. Exams had ended a few days ago and Chaeryeong suggested that you should surprise him with a visit.

So here you were, on the bus to Heeseung's university. You could barely contain your smile, it's been so long since you last saw him and you just missed him so much. You could imagine how happy he would be to see you. An hour later, the bus came to a stop and you thanked the bus driver before boarding off.

Tightening your coat around you, you looked at the road ahead of you with a determined look. You were gonna surprise Heeseung today. And nothing was going to stop you from doing so. You reached the entrance of the school and sent a friendly smile to the security guards.

You made your way towards Heeseung's dorm, your feet have walked this path multiple times. You were familiar with these hallways. Soon enough you reached his door, you patted your clothes and fixed your hair before raising your fist. Your hand hovered in front of the wooden door, Heeseung was one door away from you.  Knocking precisely three times on the door, you took a step back and clasped your hands behind you. You couldn't wait to see his smile when he sees you.

"Surprise!" You said, doing jazz hands the moment the door opened.

"Y/N? What are you doing here?" Heeseung asked you.

You blinked, slightly lowering your hands. Heeseung wasn't smiling at you like you thought he would be, instead he was looking down on you with furrowed eyebrows. His hair was dishevelled, like he ran his fingers through it multiple times and he wasn't opening the door fully, like he was blocking something.

"I was going to surprise you, since exams are over and all-"

"Why didn't you text me beforehand?" He cut you off.

You narrowed your eyes at him and crossed your arms, annoyed that he was questioning you instead of being happy to see you. "Because it was a surprise, Hee, that's the whole point. I wasn't supposed to tell you, surprises don't work like that."

Heeseung opened his mouth but cut himself off with a sigh, he turned his head around to look inside then back at you. "I didn't mean it that way, I just wished you would've told me before," he repeated with a softer tone this time.

You frowned and dropped your arms, you shouldn't have listened to Chaeryeong. Maybe you should leave, the next bus would be in two hours. Heeseung was still leaning against his door, you couldn't see past him. "Whatever, I'll leave then," you mumbled and waved him off, turning on your heel to walk away.

"Y/N! Wait!" Heeseung called after you but you ignored his calls and just continued forward. The taller boy caught up with you and grabbed your wrist.

You tried to shake him off but his hold on you was strong. "Let me go," you said through gritted teeth.

"No, you're mad," he said.

"Of course, I am! I wanted to surprise my boyfriend after not seeing him for weeks but he doesn't even look happy to see me!" You sneered at him, still trying to shake his hand off your wrist.

Heeseung's hands moved to hold your shoulders instead to keep you in place, forcing you to look at him. "Hey, I didn't say I wasn't happy to see you. I am happy to see you, okay? It's just that today's a busy day, love," he explained to you softly.

You stopped squirming and sighed. "Sorry, I just…I just really missed you okay," you told him. You overreacted and got mad at him without letting him explain himself. "Sorry," you said again.

Heeseung smiled warmly at you and pulled you into a hug. "It's okay, love," he planted a kiss on top of your head. You rested your chin on his shoulder and returned the hug.

Then, you watched as a certain blonde walked out of Heeseung's room. Hyewon stepped out of his room and waved at you with a smile. Was Heeseung hiding her? You slightly pushed Heeseung away and he took a step back in confusion. He turned around to see Hyewon and then back at you.

"Hyewon and I were working on a project," he quickly explained.

"Yeah," the other girl nodded in agreement. "If I had known you were coming today, I wouldn't have bothered Heeseung," she said.

"Ah, no. I'm sorry for interrupting the two of you," you apologised, slightly ducking your head. You're not sure if you meant the apology. Should you be sorry that you interrupted them? But Heeseung was your boyfriend.

"Well, I'll leave you two be," Hyewon smiled at the both of you before walking away.

You watched as Heeseung smiled at her and how his eyes followed her figure until she disappeared down the stairs. You bit your lower lip and clenched your fist together, feeling uneasy in your chest once again. Your hand reached to tug on his sleeve and he finally looked at you, like he forgot you were there in the first place.

He moved to hold your hand and lead you into his room, not before smiling softly at you. Instead of the usual feeling of butterflies in your stomach whenever he smiled at you, there was a sinking feeling. Because he smiled at Hyewon the same way. Your lips raised a small smile for him but it didn't reach your eyes. He doesn't seem to notice.

The door closed behind the two of you and you swung your arms before clasping your hands behind you. "So, what was Hyewon doing here?" You tried to ask naturally.

Heeseung wasn't looking at you when he replied, "She was here for a project," he hummed.

"What project?" You continued to ask more.

"For school," he simply replied, taking a seat on his bed.

You leaned against his desk while nodding your head. "Ah, so you're helping her?"

"Uh huh."

"Ah, didn't know you guys were this close…"

"Well, we are neighbours so it's just natural that we grew close, you know," he shrugged.

"Close enough to get on the Ferris Wheel with," you muttered under your breath. You thought Heeseung wasn't able to pick up what you said but his eyes snapped to look at you. You gulped, knowing you were caught.

"Love, I already said that we were there for the music video shooting," he told you with a tired sigh.

"I know, I know but I can't help feeling jealous, Hee," you explained yourself.

Your boyfriend sighed exasperatedly as he ran his fingers through his hair. "I already told you that we're just friends, there's nothing to be jealous of."

"Well, you would be jealous too if your boyfriend didn't mention that he was going to the amusement park with you and you found him hanging with another girl!" You scoffed sarcastically.

"I already told you it wasn't planned, Y/N. Why don't you trust me?" His voice was slightly raised when he spoke the last sentence, his expression was begging you to drop the topic.

But your stubborn self refused to let it go and stood up straighter. "Because you're making it really hard to trust you."

"What?" He looked at you in disbelief as he stood up as well. "How am I the one being hard right now? You're just being paranoid and you're letting your insecurities get the better of you!"

"Can you blame me?!" You raised your voice at him. Anger clouded your eyes as you begged him to understand your point of view. "We're so far apart and we rarely get to talk to each other and you're always brushing me off! It's almost like you're cheating on me with Hyewon!"

Heeseung groaned in frustration and dragged his fingers across his face. "How many times do I have to tell you that we're just friends, Y/N? Hyewon literally has nothing to do with this! I don't get why you hate her."

"Cause you talk to her while we're together," you knew that sounded childish and selfish but you were blurting whatever that came to mind.

"Oh, so now I'm not allowed to talk to other girls?" He curled an eyebrow at you while crossing his arms.

Your words were caught in your throat. "I didn't mean it like that-"

"Then what do you mean, Y/N? You never acted like this before," Heeseung rubbed his temples.

"Because!" You threw your hands out in frustration, trying to convey your words out, "I don't know what's happening in your life because we're not in the same school and I'm scared that you're cheating on me with Hyewon!"

Heeseung knitted his eyebrows at you, you don't know if it was from confusion or annoyance, maybe both. "Cheating? No, you just don't trust me! Never once did I doubt your relationship with Jeongin, so why are you doing this to me?"

"Don't bring Jeongin into this," you sneered at him, "you knew Jeongin since we were in high school. Hyewon is a completely different story. You…you look at her like…you're in love," your voice slowly died at the end, it was the final hit on the nail. You looked up at Heeseung, his eyes widened at your words.

They said the eyes are the window to your soul. Brown guilty eyes just stared at you, because you were right. Heeseung couldn't figure out his feelings and you just did it for him. Your boyfriend was falling out of love with you and he was falling for someone new. And you watched as he realised it right in front of you. You swore you heard your heart crack.

He held his head and took a step back from you, silence fell upon the both of you. "I-I think you should go," he managed to say.

"Yeah," you croaked out, your throat was swelling up. You walked past Heeseung in hurried steps and out the door to the stairs. You never saw how Heeseung dropped to his bed with his head in his head as guilty tears slowly rolled down his cheeks.

God, you wished he had thought this through before you went and fell in love with him.

You haven't talked to Heeseung since that day, you knew that your relationship was over but your heart refused to believe it until those words came from Heeseung himself. A dark cloud hung over you and your friends didn't dare to ask. You felt betrayed by him.

You loved him at his worst, but that didn't matter. He gave you his word, but that didn't matter too. You were bitter, angry, devastated, heartbroken. But you couldn't cry, your heart was full of tears yet nothing came out. A single piece of tape holding back your fragile heart. A small sign of hope that you were wrong and Heeseung still loved you.

In the middle of a cold winter day, you were nestled between your warm sheets. Chaeryeong and Ryujin had left for lunch, not before promising to get you something. In the midst of your dark covers, your phone screen lit up and caught your attention.

[2:23 pm ] hee <3: We need to talk, I'm outside your door right now.

What? Your head snapped up to look at your front door. There's no way he was standing outside right now. Gulping, you pushed yourself up and walked to the door. Your hand hesitated, hovering right in front of the silver door knob. You already knew what was coming. Taking a deep breath, you opened the door.

The same brown guilty eyes looked at you, and the little white lies from before all came crashing down at once. You stepped to the side to let him in and closed the door. Your back was facing him, you refused to look at him. Your hope was wavering, you don't know if you accepted it or not.

"I'm sorry," he was the first to break the silence. you still refused to turn around. "I didn't mean to hurt you."

Lies, lies, lies. You shut your eyes closed, your hand was still on the door knob, holding it tightly.

He inhaled a deep breath before saying his next words, "This is the end."

The words pierced your heart and it started to fall apart. This doesn't feel like a break up, it was the end of your story. It was him telling you that he was removing himself from your life. Falling out of love hurts, but losing a friend is the worst.

"Do you still love me?"

"What?"

"Do you still love me?" You finally turned around, your glossy eyes looking right at him.

Without a heartbeat, he said, "No."

And when you were alone again in your room, your heart finally shattered and the tears poured out like a waterfall. You fell to your knees with your hands clutching your heart, ugly sobs escaped from your lips. You were crying out the pain as big fat tears dropped onto the wooden floor,

Chaeryeong and Ryujin nearly dropped the food when they found you broken on the tear stained floor.

Two weeks later (after being forced to get out of bed by Ryujin), you found your friends huddled at the same place of the cafeteria like when the music video was released. They were surrounding Daehwii with their heads ducked, whispering to each other.

"What are you guys doing?" Ryujin's voice caught their attention and their heads lifted to see the both of you, eyes widening at the sight of you.

Everyone exchanged nervous glances whereas you and Ryujin were left confused. You tilted your head to the sign to show that you were confused while Ryujin raised an eyebrow as if  demanding an explanation. Chaeryeong shoved Daehwii's shoulder and gave him a look, silently telling him to break the news.

Daehwii nervously looked between you and his phone before sighing, his shoulders dropping. Instead of saying anything, he showed you his phone. Ryujin reached over to take the device from him before you could see anything and squinted her eyes. The short haired girl inhaled a sharp breath and looked at your friends, finally understanding what was happening. She then looked at you, deciding whether she should tell you or not.

"What?" You asked her, your eyebrows furrowed as your patience was running thin. What were they not telling you?

But instead of telling you, she showed you. The phone screen displayed an Instagram post with a person holding hands with someone else. The caption was a simple "with him". At first you were confused on what it had to do with you, then Ryujin tapped on the post to show you the person tagged in the post. Heeseung's username appeared, your eyes travelled up to the owner of the post and it read Hyewon's name.

"Oh," was all you could say.

Your gaze averted down and you don't see how your friends exchange worried glances. "Y/N..." Chaeryeong softly called out to you while she walked towards you. She angled her head to look at your face with her arms around you.

Your mind was a mess, it took him two weeks to find someone new. No, not someone new. It took him two weeks to go off and date her. He talked to her when you were together. And you knew if he truly loved you, there was no damn way he could fall in love with somebody that quickly. Ryujin and Chaeryeong embraced you but you felt numb. He betrayed you. And you knew that he'll never feel sorry for the way you hurt.

"He cheated on you," you heard Jeongin say, but you shook your head as you tried to rub the tears away.

"Guess he didn't cheat but he's still a traitor," Jeongin rephrased.

The girls hugged you tighter when you let out a choked sob. Jeongin was right, he didn't cheat but he was a traitor. You played dumb but you always knew that he'd talk to her, maybe did even worse but you kept quiet so you could keep him.

God you wished that he had thought it through, before you went and fell in love with him.

© chaeryybomb 2021

a/n: this took so long to write and i wrote more than i expected. thank you for waiting and reading this, see y'all in "drivers license"!