#i stayed up until 6 am two nights in a row

[asexualcloud]

writing abt nevermore cuz i binged it in like 3 days TW

so specifically pluto (and his backstory) so, it was implied that he died via suicide, hence him manifesting and being pulled in the air via what appears to be a belt, and because of relief. however, in the story "the black cat" its about a cat named pluto, who eventually gets abused by his owner (i dont remember the details) and his owner ends up gouging out one of his eyes (hence why you only see one of plutos eyes) and plutos (the cat) owner ends up hanging him. so, pluto (the character) could have died via suicide, (i.e. the feeling of relief) but there is a tiny possibility that pluto could have been hanged, but not suicide. but, nevermore doesn't rely on the source materiel that heavily, (like with Annabel Lee, in nevermore, she was shot (i think) but in the original poem, she dies of an illness) so in conclusion, idk whats going on.

[ughgoaway]

playing on my mind- blurb masterlist

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hi yall!!! I am so glad you're enjoying the blurbs, so I figured I'd make a separate masterlist for them!! I try and tag anything relating to this au with #teacher au! so you can search that on my blog for any content of these two idiots <3

original full fic- here

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❀ General fluff blurbs

blurb 1- matty is late to pick Annie up from school, but you're there to keep her company

blurb 2- matty comes into school on career day to play some music for the kids, and maybe to see you...

blurb 3- it's parents evening and matty comes in to see you, and talk about his daughter

blurb 4- its the yearly nativity play, and little Annie has a starring role

blurb 5- it's Annie's birthday, and matty brings in cake for the whole class. Maybe he ends up staying a while.

blurb 6- trick or treating together on Halloween and getting mistaken for a couple.

blurb 7- pre teacher reader, new dad matty has a screaming baby and no clue how to make it better. that is until he discovers the magic of a baby wrap...

blurb 8- two possible scenarios for the first "I love you"

blurb 9- you surprise matty front row at a show

blurb 10- going to a theme park once you and matty get together

blurb 11- (not really a blurb more just a passing thought lol) Annie losing her first tooth

blurb 12- another "I love you" for the first time scenario, if it was said during a fight/apology. Annie breaks her arm, and matty is a dickhead about it lol

blurb 13- short thoughts about matty dad dancing at a school Christmas dance.

blurb 14- not really a blurb but some slutty thoughts lol

blurb 15- Annie doing ross' hair

blurb 16- running into matty at a coffee shop and meeting george

blurb 17- Annie calling you mum for the first time (older teenage annie)

blurb 18- Annie calling you mum for the first time (young annie)

blurb 19- baby Annie is ill for the first time, and matty has no idea what to do. cue a panicked call to Adam and 4 grown men worried about a baby with a cold

blurb 20- Annie finds out about you and matty, and not in the way you hoped.

blurb 21- telling matty you're pregnant, with the help of new big sister Annie :)

blurb 22- you are sick and trying to ignore it, but matty becomes a nurse very quickly and refuses to let you just sit and rot lol

blurb 23- what matty is like during your early pregnancy

blurb 24- (short) Christmas with your family vs Matty's.

blurb 25- girls night out ends up with you getting a lip tattoo for matty, and he loves it

blurb 26- Annie decides its time to trial haircuts in her spare time, and matty is her first victim.

blurb 27- Annie is performing in a talent show, and everyone comes to watch.

blurb 28- Annie meeting her baby brother for the first time

blurb 29- small thoughts about Matty's reaction to Annie dating.

blurb 30- radom thoughts about matty comforting teacher reader after a hard week.

blurb 31- pregnant teacher reader and her mourning Matty's curls: :(

blurb 32- Annie gets her first boyfriend, who just so happens to be George's nephew. and they were doing a great job keeping it secret, until now

blurb 33- short thoughts about Annie's first award show :)

blurb 34- valentines crafts with Annie for matty pre-dating, and all the yearning that entails lol

blurb 35- first time going out as a family after you and matty have officially gotten together!

blurb 36- jealous matty after you see someone you used to go to uni with at a bar. He's definitely hitting on you, and matty is not happy.

blurb 37- a little explanation on Annie's mum and what their relationship is like!

blurb 38- first fight after you've gotten together and your first time trying to build something together.

blurb 39- your parents meeting Annie and matty for the first time.

blurb 40- mayhem, matty, and annie come home covered in mud after a walk, and the three of you are left with the job of bathing mayhem...

blurb 41- matty is home from tour, baby healy is born, and annie is beyond ready for her whole family to be in one place. matty makes snoopy pancakes for a the peanuts obsessed Annie as a celebration of his return <3

blurb 42- not a proper blurb, but just little thoughts about teacher girlie and dlid!!

blurb 43- not a proper blurb again, but just brief thoughts on celebrating your 1 year anniversary :)

blurb 44- baby healy smiles for the first time, and it's all because of a new 75 track

❀ 18 + blurbs

blurb 1- matty tries on your labcoat, and you can't help but feel slightly embarrassed about how attractive you find it - matty takes advantage, obviously.

blurb 2- soft gentle sex with matty after you've had a long week.

blurb 3- pulling matty straight off stage after that grab he did...

blurb 4- morning oral w/matty and holding his hand as he's between your legs <3

blurb 5- matty gets angry on the phone and it's hot, so he decides to make you tell him what made you feel like this and make you feel good

❀ kink concepts

(I asked people to send a kink and I gave my thoughts on how each au would feel about them. explained more here!! also features pornstar au, so scroll down for teacher au thoughts <3)

thoughts on roleplay

thoughts on shibari

thoughts on temperature play

thoughts on somno

thoughts on cum play

thoughts on dacryphillia

thoughts on choking

[icarusredwings]

You asked, you shall receive. @exuberantocean

🌘Sleepy Doctor Head Canons 🌒

(And more)

♤ 9 barley ever sleeps when he has companions. He'd try to sleep the bare minimum that he could, hence why he was so tired as 10.

♤ 9 will lay with you if you asked, but you're hilarious if you think he's going to sleep. He has too much to think about, and if he falls asleep, there's a chance of grusome nightmares. Yeah, it's not happening, mate, sorry.

♤ When he does sleep its ussually sitting upright. The TARDIS has scolded him multiple times for dozing off while literally standing. He just crosses his arms and nods off like someone's uncle at a boring cookout.

♤ He slept a little more when it was just Rose and Him, but was far too nervous to let her near him when he was asleep in fear he'd hurt her from bad dreams. (He's strangled companions in the past and would be devistated if he did that to her.)

☆10 is a sleepy boy. He doesn't sleep as much as 12 or 14, but he definitely does try to get at least SOME sleep every day(night)

☆If for some reason he can't sleep that long for multiple days in a row, he becomes cranky. He needs at least 4 out of the 24 hours per day, He likes 6 every night (specifically if they're on earths clock) from 2 am to 8 am. Sometimes, he will sleep 8 if he's really tired, but often doesn't because he's far too busy or energetic.

☆ 10 likes sleeping with companions (OI! Knock it off, you nasty animals! Don't make me spray you.) This being said, Rose is definitely his favorite, and she is the only one he feels comfortable with being actually asleep.

☆ Meaning if Rose is not around? You will not catch him deep sleeping. He doesn't trust himself to fully sleep around others yet. He doesn't close off the cuddle pile, though, so anyone can join. As long as Rose is there to calm him if something goes sideways in his head.

☆ He really likes curling up and his hair being played with until he falls asleep. The second you stop stroking his head back cheeks, he likes anywhere, really. He wakes up and whines and asks why'd you stop.

♧ 11 is like trying to get.. well.. an 11 year old to go to sleep. It's going to take some work and some bribing. He's a "naps add up" kind of guy rather than a full term.

♧ Will he sleep in front of others? Yes. Will he also purposly stay up all night so that he doesn't have to chance a nightmare? Yes. Do I see him taking naps with Rory in random sitting upright chairs with his arms crossed and his fez tilted down? Also, yes.

♧ 11 much rather go Go GO than go to bed. When he does actually sleep in a bed, it's usually fully clothed so he can jump up if needed. Stuffies are optional but appreciated.

♧ If your goal is to tire him out for bed? Good luck. The only person who can successfully get him to go to bed is River, and even then, that's only if she plays with his hair and promises to him nothing will happen if he dozes off for an hour or two. That she'll "Watch the universe" for him. When he asks what will happen, she just smiles and says "Spoilers, sweetie. Spoilers."

◇ Despite the fact he jumped out the bedroom window the second anyone wasn't watching him, 12 has come to learn to like beds and sleeps like a mideval peasent whos been struck by plauge.

◇ He snores loudly, breaths heavily, grunts, rolls, kicks, you name it, he does it, but he sleeps with his mouth open, so most times he keeps water near him if hes in a bed. If he's in a chair upright, his snores are much quiter. Maybe it's because he's older, maybe it's because when he nods off, it's more of a passing out rather than a willing thing, so he never gets too deep into the RIM cycle.

◇ He claims that he doesn't enjoy touching or hugging, that he's "not that kind of person," but you can catch him hugging pillows as if they were people he once knew..

◇ If you're really lucky and he's having a bad time, he might ask you to sleep in the same bed with him, but don't expect to be cuddled rather than stared at the entire night.

◇The only person who has succeeded in cuddles is probably Missy, and it was by force. Missy likes her cuddles. (Maayybbee Clara, but he's kind of afraid of crushing her. Time Lords are heavy, you know.)

◇ 12 nods off like a grandpa in church after 2:15 pm. but not nearly as much as 14, and never mid conversation. Mid movie though? Always.

◇If he's having a hard time getting to sleep, he'll litsen to 80s rock.

♡ 13 gets anxious when asked to sleep. She had 20 years' worth of sleep already from Prison. She doesn't want to sleep any time soon. Bunk beds are not cool anymore.

♡ Much like 11, she would rather not sleep unless she has too and would prefer moving on and pushing through then sleeping. She can leave sleep for the next one (which she did)

♡ You can often find her staying up tinkering for multiple nights until she physically crashes while there's a tool in her hand and WHOOPS there goes the TARDIS!! Now something is on fire, but oh well. She'll be fine.

♡ 13 ADORES cuddling and holding hands while laying down. Just don't ask her to go to sleep or else she will become worrisome. She is the type of incarnation that needs to relax enough to fall asleep on her own, without prompt or mention of going to sleep. Yaz has gotten her to fall asleep a few times, and after that, it's cat laws. No moving allowed.

● As mentioned before, 14 is always nodding off in random places. The Noble's entire property is a big spot with the label "SAFE FOR SLEEPING" on it, whether it be the couch with Wilf, in a rocking chair, the kitchen chairs, the lawn chairs outside, up in his room in the attic, hell sometimes you'll catch him on the floor in Rosie's room.

● They *were* talking about homework and UNIT, but he got mid way through a story and passed out on the carpet in which Rosie put a weighted blanket on him and gave him some stuffed animals she made. This is usually how it goes. If he falls asleep anywhere but his own room, he can almost always wake up to a blanket on him (or his coat on him) and at least one plushie.

● About once a week, its not rare for Sylvia to come down in the morning and see him sleeping at the kitchen table in his robe, For Donna to find him snoring on the couch with Wilfred and make a joke about 'which one is grandad?' Or for Shaun to come home only to see a man cuddled up with his wife in their bed. At this point, he doesn't even mind it, just joins right in.

"Night terrors again?"

"Ooh.. yeah, Sorry. He just sort of crawled in."

"Like Rose used too?"

"Exactly like that. But if he comes tellin' me he threw up, I might slap him."

"Well, scoot over, This is my bed too innut?"

●The nighbors used to be concerned about an alien living in Donna's attic, but now they just adore him and give Donna a ring if they get too worried. Bassically, the whole neighborhood is on Doctor Duty. He aint dying on their watch.

"y'ello?"

"Ohh, Hello Donna."

"Hello Marjorie... is this about the doctor?"

"Oh yes Im sorry, I know you said he's alright, but it's been almost 5 hours, and he hasn't budged an inch."

"Alright, one second- OI!! GET UP AND GET YER ARSE INSIDE! YOU'RE SCARING THE NEIGHBORS AGAIN!"

And that's usually when he startles awake and is forced into the house. If he doesn't wake up from that, he gets a slap. If that doesn't wake him up, 15 is called to take care of it.

● Thursdays, he is especially tired because therapy causes him emotional disregulation, and crying that much can make someone tired.

(These specifc Head canons portrayed in "The Man in the Attic" On Ao3)

■ Take one look at this man and tell me if you think he sleeps on a regular schedule or not. The awnser is No. When 15 does sleep, it's either a long time for 1 day or short amounts for multiple days. No in between.

■ He likes sleeping somewhere cozy and dimmed with orange/ yellow lights. I can see him snoozing in the memory Tardis with Ruby. He also goes stargazing with Ruby and sometimes nods off after a few hours of that but him in a bed? Never.

■ Sometimes, he pops by to nap with 14 because what's more therapeutic than cuddling yourself? Can't be snuck up on and attacked if there's an angry red head downstairs willing to fight the ToyMaster himself if he decided to try and wake up her dear friends the Doctor.

■ He enjoys sleeping with someone he knows well enough not to kill him/ will protect him if someone tries. This list so far invovles Ruby, Mel, Himself, (and Rouge if he didn't immediately dip out), possibly Rose if Donna allows it. (Hes kinda scared of her)

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Am I the asshole for breaking up with my girlfriend?

I (24F) dated my ex-girlfriend (23F) for a year and a half. We moved in together after 6 months because she had to move to my city for a job and it was just easier. It was a great year together until recently.

Two weeks ago, she went out without me for three nights in a row (Friday, Saturday, Sunday), and wasn't back until late each night. She went to bars, clubs, and raves, and she met a bunch of new people. She told me where she was and where she was going, but it still felt awful. I was acting distant and crying a lot. She barely looked at me all three days. I was certain we were going to break up, and I was looking at apartments planning for where I was going to go.

Sure enough on Monday, after she got dinner with a friend, she came back home and we talked. Her friend had suggested it was time for us to break up, apparently. I admitted to thinking about it, and we agreed to break up. I left with some clothes and toiletries and went to my parent's house two towns over to stay for a while.

But on Tuesday when I went back after work to get some of my things, she begged me for another chance and told me she "would do anything" to make it right. I didn't give in and said we could take two weeks to think about it.

Fast forward two weeks. I haven't made a decision at all, but she is dead set on getting back together. We meet up for dinner and talk, and agree to get back together. But I don't feel right about it. I feel numb and gross. Holding her hand doesn't feel right anymore and I can't stand to look at her. When I got back to my parents', I talked to them, and then called her and we broke up all over again.

Now she is distraught and heartbroken, I feel like shit, and I am so worried about what the future is going to look like for both of us. But the biggest question have is - am I the asshole here?

What are these acronyms?

[optimisticabomination]

Optimistic abomination's awful 8 step plan to get yourself motivated to complete one (1) big task at ~60% effectiveness!!

This strategy relies on misusing the random 3 am motivation you get when you feel like you aren't doing enough with your life and slingshotting it, by abusing your sleep schedule, to an hour where you can actually make use of it to complete a small task. From there, the accomplishment of completing 1 task gives you the energy and momentum to complete the task you've been putting off!!! Somehow!!!

Have your internship professor go on holiday for the 4th of July, so you don't have any work to do for three days

Use this free time to mess up your sleep schedule badly. I would recommend staying up till 5 am three nights in a row, then sleeping until 1 pm

Its action time. On the fourth day, crash and sleep about two hours from 10 pm to 12 am

Use this small amount of sleep to stay up past your 5 am usual time

By this point you should have so much nervous energy you can stay awake for several more hours, and your body should suddenly release your 3 am motivation at around 6 am, a time when you can actually do something

Use this ability to make a great breakfast, perhaps half a loaf of French toast

Eat French toast, read a book, and crash for another two hours

Somehow, this gave me the ability to complete a single task at 60% efficiency

(optional) make a Tumblr post at 3:47 am detailing your experiences and get all of three (3) notes at best

Thank you for reading and please never do this to yourself. I do not feel good 👍

[alwaysahiccupandastrid]

“An Enemy of the People” + Meeting Matt Smith a THIRD time(?!?!)

I saw Matt Smith last night in his play, “An Enemy of the People” in London and I’m still super overwhelmed by it all, especially as I was up at 6:45am for work before I went to the show AND I ended up not getting home until 5am, but to sum up my experience last night with Matt:

I was sat in row A, which is the third row from the stage behind AA and BB, so I was SUPER close to the stage

THEY HAD A REAL DOG (German Shepherd/Alsatian I think?) ON STAGE IN SOME SCENES OMG OMG OMG I LOVED THIS SCENE STEALER

Matt was absolutely incredible, he had a full on like 5 minute monologue where he was shouting into a microphone about capitalism and the rot of government etc, and there was utter silence the entire time

It then turned into an audience trauma dump of sorts because they had some microphones given to audience members to air their grievances with the government/system/society, it was incredibly powerful

The rest of the cast were amazing too of course

I was in the “splash” zone because there was a moment where the cast were along the sides next to the audience while Matt was on stage and then they threw paint-filled balloons at him, and when they hit him they exploded so we had to have tarp pulled up over us just before it happened because the paint would have hit us

Matt has a DILF belly and I am 100% for it, at one point he lifted the bottom of his shirt to wipe the paint from his eyes and I nearly died

After the show, I went to stage door to try and meet him - but because it was a Saturday night in London it was a nightmare and so he could only do quick signatures and no pictures with people

I DID get my program signed by Matt ☺️🫶🏻

Also one of the other cast members (Zachary Hart) was talking a lot to my friend just before Matt came outside and he turned, saw me, looked me over and then went “I like your shirt! 🙂” (I was wearing a TNBC check shirt)

After the show, I was with some friends I knew from Twitter who were also huge Matt fans, and we went to a pub that was down the road from the theatre after they had changed clothes… and Matt and the cast were there?!?

Matt brushed up against me twice when he was going to/coming back from the bar and I nearly passed out like one of my friends had to take me outside because I was hyperventilating

(This is also an autistic thing though that’s unrelated to Matt because it was super packed and loud and hot in the pub)

After the pub closed, my friend said the bar in her hotel would be open until 2 so we went there, left our stuff in her room, and then we went down to the bar… and Matt and the cast were there too?!?

I’m genuinely not joking, we were NOT stalking him, we had talked about going to pub days ago and - as I said - one of my friends was literally staying at that hotel and the bar there was the closest one still open. To be honest, I was feeling anxious at this point because I was terrified Matt would see us and recognise us but also I was freaking out because I wanted to talk to him so bad as I didn’t get the chance at the stage door during the chaos

It’s a bar where they have music playing, like at a club, but there’s no dancing and they sit you at tables and take your drinks orders, and we were two tables away from the cast

Zachary walked past and said hello to one of my friends again, because he recognised them from earlier, and he grinned/shouted hello back when we waved and said hello

Matt walked past us and the friend mentioned above and I shouted hello at him and waved, but I didn’t want to bother him by going up to him because 1) it was nearly 2am, 2) I didn’t want him to be weirded out or think we were stalking him, and 3) I ’m 99% sure he was drunk because he’d been hanging about in the pub and then the bar for a total of four hours 💀 anyway, Matt smiled and shouted hello back

My friends went outside the hotel to smoke after the bar closed (I was the only one out of a group of 5 who didn’t smoke 😭) and the cast came out to leave, and one of my friends asked him for a picture but his co-worker Jessica Brown-Findlay apparently got mad at her and said “no, we are not doing that”. Matt was super nice to her though and said she looked great, and “know we love you!” before he left

(Side note: one of the other friends thinks Jessica was pissed off because when we were outside the pub earlier, her husband asked my friends for a cigarette and were chatting to him while they smoked (I was there under an umbrella absolutely freezing my tits off lol) and they said it might be a possessive thing? To be genuinely honest, none of us had any clue it was her husband even when he said “oh yeah my wife Jessie is in a play down the road”, like it genuinely didn’t click for any of us that he was talking about Jessica, and he approached us for a cigarette, not the other way around)

Unrelated to Matt but still relevant to understanding the night/my feelings:

I was very exhausted because I started my new job yesterday morning, was up at 6:45am because my dad insisted on dropping me off at 8am despite me not starting until 9, I was on my feet the whole day, I didn’t have time to run home and change so I had to do my make up on the train (luckily my uniform was given to me in the morning so I was able to wear my evening clothes, change into work clothes and then change back at the end of the day), my feet were super sore and blistered because I was wearing brand new trainers from work that didn’t fit properly… yeah. Anyway.

(Side note: I LOVE my new job so much, I am not complaining about it at all, it was amazing, it’s just unfortunate scheduling that I started on the same day I had the ticket for the play)

I missed my last tube and my last train home (last train was at 1am) and ended up having to borrow money to get a taxi to Piccadilly station from the hotel, at which point it was 3am and I was feeling very exhausted AND also emotional

There were issues with the tube because of the weather and so I had to wait an extra 30 minutes while also needing to pee and suffering from exhaustion, didn’t get on a tube until about 3:30? 3:40?

I think I was crying at one point after leaving the hotel because when I got to the tube station to wait for a train, a woman also waiting came to check on me and asked why I had been crying

I kept on dozing off on the tube between stops, and I’m very lucky I didn’t get robbed to be honest (probably because I had my bag on my lap and an arm resting over it)

I ended up in South Ealing at 4:15am, and I knew if I got a bus I wouldn’t be getting to the nearest town to me until 5am (and I still wouldn’t have been home) so I decided “fuck it, I’m spending £27 on an Uber I guess”

I fell asleep in the Uber and the driver was pretty annoyed about it, I ended up getting home at 5am - somehow I was able to remove the rest of my make up, message my friends to tell them I was home safe, get in my PJs and climb into bed

Here’s some photos of the stage before the play started, Matt at the end of the play (covered in paint), and Matt at stage door

(I did NOT take photos or videos of him in the pub or bar, because I want to respect his privacy 🙂🫶🏻 I am also NOT going to share the name of the pub or hotel/bar, not because I want to gatekeep or anything, but because of privacy and out of respect)

[rainchyna]

𓆩♡𓆪 episode five: WRESTLING WAR I.

i fought for my life so that y’all can see this so y’all better like it because we will fight >:( this ep is pretty uneventful apart from the promo but it’s kinda boring so i don’t blame y’all if you don’t like it LMAO we could’ve had FOUR EPISODES by now but tumblr stay being the biggest mf opp

6:47 am, training.

the nWo formed two days ago.

it’s been a really long time since you’ve last seen producers, writers, Vince and others be so panicked. it all happened so quickly too, the last thing anyone expected was for Hulk to be the the third man of the faction. it’s not like they can change anything now.

a day that has training usually starts at five for you and Bret. when you both arrived, Randy was there too. the place was a mess. there were a lot of employees running by, paperwork for upcoming storylines was being thrown around, rooms being turned into meeting halls. Randy explained that Vince, apparently, had trapped some people with him since last night and they’ve been writing and rewriting Raw for hours.

“I’ve never seen him so stressed” Bret said as he laced up his boots again, “it’s like his whole head of hair turned white overnight”. you hum, laid out on the ring mat. this meant a lot for you, you had to reinvent your character. introduce new moves, come up with some catchphrases, design some proper ring gear. last thing you need right now is for the audience to get bored of you.

“y’know” you sat up, “back in Japan, when I was in a mixed team with Shinya, we used to do this move where he’d power bomb someone then set them up on the turnbuckle, then I’d hit a running frankensteiner out in the concrete. do you think that would be too much if i do it here?” you ask.

“you worked with Shinya Hashimoto?!” Randy asked, “yeah?” you answer, “didn’t you know that?” you ask. Randy shrugged, “mixed matches are basically unheard of here” he says. can’t blame him, he’s right.

“I don’t think it’ll be too much, considering what will happen for this next period of time. I think Vince will be open to any type of exciting change” Bret says.

you began thinking of new things to add to your character and ways to introduce yourself to the fans, because up until now your gimmick just seems to be a shell of who you were in Japan. maybe you should just use your first name? or talk a certain way? maybe a major gimmick change! hm…

“Y/n?!” Bret called out for you, “huh?” you were zoned out. you look at him and there suddenly was a wild Vince Mcmahon standing outside the ring. his appearance made you jump a little, his hair was an absolute mess, his under eyes were dark and his eyes were red. his button up was wrinkly and the stress of work was showing on him.

“are you okay?” you ask, he nods with a hum as he rubs his temples. “I need all three of you in the office” he says, voice raspier than usual.

as you four walk towards the office you feared the worse, it was obvious that Vince was not in a great in mood at all. you were scared he’d ask you to do something stupid, or to change your gimmick and make a joke out of you.

you exhale, it was Vince McMahon. only so much can go wrong.

Vince begins scrambling for some papers as soon as you enter the office, you, Bret and Randy cram into a random couch in the room. it was something you guys always unconsciously did, cramming in one spot when there’s plenty of room around you.

“here” Vince hands you a paper, you quickly grab it and both men lean in with you to read as well. you frown, the paper was split into two parts, and names were arranged in columns and rows. Vince had picked out the teams for you and Taker.

“I thought you were going to let us pick out our own teammates..?” you half ask, it’s not like you hated your teammates, but you would’ve liked to have picked them out yourself.

“well, they’ve already been selected.” Vince said. you wanted to make him let you pick, but you didn’t want to argue with him today. “okay” you respond.

“why is my name on there?” Randy asked, “wouldn’t that be unfair to the other team?”

“don’t worry, I have a plan for you” Vince said.

please let this go well.

“for tonight’s Raw, I wanna see if you can do an unscripted promo. Taker’s part has been printed out but we left your lines out of his version.” Vince says sitting behind his desk.

“are you sure?” you ask, he nods. “I wanna see if you’re as reliable on a mic as you are in the ring” he explains.

please let this go well.

“okay”

10:22 am, y/n’s locker room.

“which one goes better with my shorts?” you ask holding up two tops in front of your mirror, both strapless, one is red leather and the other black denim.

“hello?” you look behind you, Steve had passed out on the couch while Owen was trying to shove what looked like a pen up his nose. “guys!”

Steve loudly snores himself awake while Owen immediately tries to look innocent. “you’re really not helping” you put the clothes down. “w-what? no, no, I am” Steve sits up, you roll your eyes. “you fell asleep” Owen says, “and you were trying to put a pen up his nose!” you flip on a chair near you.

Steve turns to smack Owen but you quickly jump between them, “you touch my baby, and I’ll smack the accent out of your speech” you threaten while Owen sticks his tongue out at Steve. “whaddya need help with anyway?” Steve asked.

“I wanted to know what I should wear for tonight’s segment” you say, “hasn’t your official gear come in yet?” Owen asks and you shake your head. “that red shirt looks alright” Steve points to your pile of clothes that was almost on the floor. “this one?” you pick it up.

“yeah” he nods, “what do you think Owen?” you ask the blond, “yeah, I think it’ll look cool, wear it with dark pants” he suggests.

“should I wear heels?” you ask, “high heels?” they both ask. “aren’t they a bit impractical?” Steve asks, “yeah, but we’re only doing a promo later, I’m not wrestling tonight” you reason. they both shrug, “go for it” Steve says.

you put on the outfit and your shoes, then unintentionally started an argument about cowboy hats between a texan and a canadian. Steve was raging about how you should wear a white one because it’s ‘classic’ and Owen wanted you to wear a red one to match your shoes.

never in your life did you ever think you’d hear Steve call Owen ‘maple syrup boy’.

“and what the hell do you know about cowboy hats, boy?!” Steve spat, “more than ya fuckin’ do!” Owen faked a southern accent. “guys?” you interrupt, “a red one would look better!” Owen said, “the hell it ain’t” Steve crossed his arms.

“guys!” you yell, they finally pay attention to you. “there’s hats of all colours in the dressing room” you explain. Owen gets up and grabs your arm, “then we’ll go and see which one looks better” he says.

hilariously, they’re both angrily stomping their way to the dressing room with you following closely behind them.

the door flies open and thank god there’s only two people in the room, it was Bret and Randy. y’all would’ve looked crazy in anyone else’s eyes.

as both men continue to argue while pulling out random hats from the accessories’ closet, Bret and Randy look at them confused, as if you could explain anything without them giving you their ‘really?’ faces.

you go and stand next to them, “Vince rewrote Raw” Bret said, your eyes widen as you look at him. “what do you mean he rewrote it?” you ask. you were supposed to be improvising, you weren’t worried that much, but you still wanted to know. “he printed you a promo I think” he added.

now you needed to know.

“when did he do that?” you ask, “like an hour ago” Randy said, “and why didn’t he tell me?” you sigh. “you should talk to him, me and Steve have a match later and he rescheduled it like five or six times so far” Bret explained.

you groan, head falling into the palm of your hand. “no I insist!” Steve’s voice bellowed behind you, a white cowboy hat was suddenly placed aggressively on your head. “not now, Austin” you mumble. “he rescheduled our match again” Bret told him, “jeez, what’s going on with him today?” Steve asks.

you leave the dressing room and head towards the office, heels clicking against the floor. the place was quite, it was still relatively early, only staff in sight. you knock the office’s door before entering. Vince, Pat and a producer were in the room, papers were scattered everywhere, and the atmosphere was tense.

“am I interrupting something?” you close the door behind you, the staff member excuses himself before walking past you and exiting the room. “no, not really” Pat said.

“I heard you changed tonight’s episode” you began, “ah, right. I forgot to tell you” Vince said as he shut his eyes and rubbed his temples. he picked up a paper and held it out in your direction.

you grab the paper examining it, “keep it with you” Pat began, “we still don’t know if we should let you improvise just yet” he adds. you sigh once more, “the decision is still not set though” Vince says. what the hell?

do they want you to improvise or not?

“I guess..”

you didn’t want to start anything with Vince today, the man seems to be going through it. you began walking back towards the door, “y/n” Vince stopped you, “please do your best tonight”, you raise an eyebrow before quickly nodding. “of course” you smile. “nice hat by the way”.

you wanted to grab some coffee to rehearse your lines with since you were feeling a bit tired. you immediately notice Chyna and Lita sitting at a table having breakfast. “where have you two been?” you ask as you sit at their table.

“we just arrived” Lita explained, “and I heard Vince is not having a good day” she adds as she pokes around her pancakes. “oh trust me, he not” you chuckle as you begin reading your lines.

it was generic promo, nothing too crazy, apart from making fun of Taker every now and then. “love the outfit by the way, especially the hat” Chyna said as she drank some orange juice, “you should’ve seen the war that happened for me to wear it” you respond.

“war?” Lita laughs, you nod.

you three just continue chatting and talking about your day, which was a bit hectic so far. “y’all wanna go out later?” you ask, “I don’t really have anything later”. Lita hums with a mouthful, nodding her head. “yeah, this day’s been quite something” Chyna says, “true honestly, Vince is going off of rage autopilot” Lita adds.

the man is clearly trying to get rid of the kiddy, family friendly taste the WWF has to counter the nWo’s renegade antics. every once in a while you could hear him yelling about something being ‘not controversial enough!’.

poor Vince, someone get him an ice cream.

“so a bar later?” Chyna asks, “yeah” you all agree.

3:21 pm, dressing room.

what was it with you and Shawn always being the dressing room together? it felt like you were destined to meet every time here.

“are you following me?” Shawn asked, you slowly turn to him giving him a mean side eye. “I came here first..?” you say putting down your blush palette. you did a plain look today, basic base and some highlight. you added three red rhinestones to the outer corner of your eyes.

“you’re always here when I’m here” he said, brushing his hair. “coincidences happen” you spray your face with setting spray. “nah, I think you’re following me” he reassures and you roll your eyes.

“why would I follow you?” you ask, “’cause you want me” he smirks as he flexes in front of the mirror, ‘I swear my eyes will fall out of my head’ you think. how many times do you have to go over this conversation?

you groan loudly then breath out, calming down. “for the last time Shawn, I don’t want you” you explain. “eeehhh, they all say that at first” he laughs. “annoying ass bitch” you mumble.

you grab a random hairbrush and before you can touch your hair, Shawn immediately grabs it out of your hand. you groan, “give that back! why do you always take my stuff, man?!” you try to swat it away from him, but fail.

“I wanna brush my hair!” he laughs, “you just did your hair!” you pull on his arms, “Shawn give it back!”

he grabs one of your arms and pulls it behind your back, “Michaels, I swear to god-” you begin, he chuckled. “what are you gonna do, hm?” you wriggle in his hold.

“just give me the fucking brush back” you push against him, “or what?” he asks. you roll your eyes,

“Shawn” you warn, “pretty girl” he taunts.

you manage to break away from him and hit with a half assed upper cut. he quickly lets go of the brush and you grab it away from him. “stop with this highschool jock shit, I will break your fucking nose” you threaten.

“I’d love if you do that” he smirks, you stare at his stupidly punchable face, you raise your finger to say some smart shit but stay quite.

“you’re really fucking annoying” you mutter, he steps closer to you and pushes some hair behind your ear, “and you’re really fucking pretty” he says.

pushing him away, you roll your eyes again.

10:28 pm, RAW <Live>

you were in the main event tonight, the last half hour is all yours. the segment tonight was to determine you and Taker’s groups. simple.

you were rightfully very excited, this was your first feud and you were going up against the big leagues, this was going to be fun. everyone was crammed in gorilla, you look back at the men and women and you slightly cringe. get nice and cozy in there guys and pray that each one of you showered, because they’re about to be here for a long time.

you felt giddy, the type of happiness that had you giggling to yourself. Taker clearly noticed, your energy was quite infectious and he couldn’t help but crack a smile himself. “well, someone’s happy” he crossed his arms. “dude, this is gonna be cool as fuck” you smile, there’s a sudden tug on your arm and you’re yanked to side.

“y/n listen” it was Vince, he startled the hell out of you. “fuckin’ hell, Vince” you place a hand over your chest. “the promo we gave you earlier? forget about it” he said, and you look at him wide eyed, “what?” you ask. he nods, “I want you to improvise” he explains.

your mind immediately felt like that fuzzy, black and white screen that a t.v displays when he it’s disconnected. you had came up with some lines when were still going to improvise earlier in the day but you threw out most of them, not thinking much of what will happen.

“and you’re telling me this now?!” you ask, “I know, I know, but pass it off for tonight. I’ll pay you back” he apologetically says. you sigh.

and just like a switch had been turned, and of your excitement suddenly fizzled out.

this was your first feud and you were going up against the big leagues, hopefully this is fun.

you stood by the ramp and a staff member counted you down until your music hit, you fixed your hat and threw your championship over your shoulder as the crowd popped for you. you get in between the ropes and into the middle of the ring, holding your championship up high. a ring side staff member handed you microphone and the crowd settled down quietly.

“so everyone knows about my little situation with The Undertaker. we’re both backstage, he thinks i’m being rude, we almost fight, and all that, you know what happened, whatever, right?” you begin, “but me personally, I really wanna fight that guy, like what’s not good enough about this?” you ask pointing to yourself and the crowds cheers.

“exactly!” you smile fixing your hat, “okay, now everyone listen” and the crowd quite down again. “I wanna issue a challenge to The Undertaker, Taker, I know you’re back there and I know you can hear me. I want you to listen, so listen carefully - actually, why don’t you come out here?” you ask and the crowds pops.

you wait, everyone waits - and waits, you begin getting nervous, yeah you’ve been trying your best to keep the crowd invested in what you were saying, but this wasn’t supposed to happen. scripted or not, he was supposed to come out immediately.

everyone is waiting, still waiting and commentary are starting to question whether or not The Undertaker is coming out.

“look man, I get you walk slowly but hurry up now.” you say. you lean against the ropes and begin chatting with the people at the front row, damn where is he?

“he’s scared of you!” the girl you were talking to yells, “yeah! he sold out!” they guy next to her agrees.

they both begin chanting ‘YOU SOLD OUT!” and those around them follow suit. it took away the nervous smile you had one and replaced it with a genuine one.

the lights dimmed down and first dong in Taker’s theme song was heard. however, he didn’t get the cheers he usually got, instead, he was drowned in the “YOU SOLD OUT!” chants.

one couldn’t tell by the Deadman’s face but he was raging on the inside, not only were management backstage siding with you, but now the fans were too.

he steps into the ring and is handed a microphone as well, “whatever it is that you want to say, or challenge me for, do it now. you’re wasting my time” he said, and the boos he was met by were unimaginable.

“oh, i’m the one wasting your time?” you spat, “so I was the one who took one hundred years to get to the ring?” and crowd cheers so for you. “don’t get smart with me now, little girl” he orders and you shrug.

“just stating the obvious” you say, “now, as I was saying. my challenge for you is that we form our individual teams, people to fight each other. obviously because we can’t wrestle since that’s banned or .. something like that, but our teams can go through something like a tournament to see who comes out on top” you were immediately getting into the details of it all, this segment was already dragging.

the crowd listened closely to every word you said, interested in your offer. Taker raises the microphone to his mouth, “go on” he says.

“we’ll pick out our teams, men and women in both so that it’s fair, and we’ll go at it” you explain. “and what does the winner get?” Taker asks.

“the winner will be in Survivor Series as the main event!” Randy exclaims.

everyone’s attention and cheers are now diverted to the announcer’s desk, Randy tips his hat at both of you and you smile. “you heard the Macho man, is that a deal for you?” you ask.

Taker doesn’t answer you. he’s silent for a while and once again, the crowd is annoyed at his slowness. “oh brother” you groan.

you heard it when it began, the “YOU’RE SCARED OF Y/N!” chants. they almost make you break character, but you tilt your hat and pretend to admire your championship to hide the grin on your face.

“is that what you think?!” Taker yells at the crowd, “yes, you have a deal, Y/l/n!” he bellows and you push your hat back with a smile. the crowds pops.

“how about we pick our teams now?” you ask looking the crowd who cheer again. “Randy?”, Randy pulls out what looks like a bowl from under the table and jumps into the ring with you two.

“the bowl has papers that have wrestlers names in them, each of you gets to pick four. Y/n, you get two women and two men. Undertaker, you get two women and two men, both teams will consist of five members, are we clear?” Randy asks and you both nod.

the crowd didn’t even question how Randy knew about your challenge, they didn’t even care that he knew that there will teams and that he prepared. they wanted to know who was in the teams.

you dig in the bowl, mixing the paper around a bit before picking one out and unfolding it.

“Chyna” you smile, and the crowd cheers, they cheer even louder when she comes out to stand with you in the ring.

Taker picks out a paper and quickly unfolds it, “Luna Vachon” he reads and the crowd cheers again.

you pick, “Sensational Sherri”.

Taker picks, “Lita”

you pick, “Owen Hart”

Taker picks, “Shawn Michaels”

you pick, “Bret Hart”

last pick goes to Taker, “Steve Austin”.

the ring was now filled with wrestlers, Chyna, Sherri, Owen and Bret on your side, while Luna, Lita, Shawn and Steve were on Taker’s side.

“all is fair in love and war, including this one if that’s what we’re calling it.” Randy began, “now I’m gonna ask you two to shake hands. to vow on professionalism in the name of wrestling, no tricks, no lying, no cheating, no stealing. can you?”

you and Taker glare at each other, an intense stare down. you stick your hand out, he stares at it then takes it in his.

“call it wrestling war one then” he says.

little did he know that the reason your team was giggling among themselves and why crowd behind you were chanting your name was because you had crossed your fingers behind your back.

it’s on.

still there was one thing left.

the bowl had one last paper in it, you noticed it. Taker noticed, the crowd did to.

“who’s remaining in there?” Taker asks as he points to the bowl. you grab the paper and unfold it, your brows furrowed with confusion.

“Macho Man Randy Savage” you read and the crowd goes wild, while everyone in the ring looks at each other confused.

“now hold on, hold on, hold on. who’s side are you on?” you ask, and Randy laughs as he begins to exit the ring.

“can’t spoil the fun now, can I?” he smiles.

[veiledmeolody]

my name is [ DILAN ŞAHIN ] … and i am from [ MANHATTAN NY ] and i’m a [ PROFESSIONAL BALLERINA ]. i lived in helltown for [ 6 MONTHS ] because [ I CAN’T GO HOME ]. i am [ 28 ] my pronouns are [ SHE/HER ] and i am [ METICULOUS, DISCREET, CREATIVE ] though some may say i’m [ STUBBORN, RECKLESS , SLY ]. i also hear i look a lot like [ ASLIHAN MALBORA] but, i don’t know if i see it. i’m here because [ I’M LOOKING FOR MY EX-BOYFRIEND TO GET HIM TO LEAVE ME ALONE ] but, maybe there’s more to it than that. you never know with helltown.

ABOUT DILAN: Every night I try my best to dream.

CHARACTER BASICS

FULL NAME: Dilan Esra Şahin

NICKNAME(S): Dil, Dee

AGE: Twenty-Eight

GENDER & PRONOUNS: Cis Woman, She/Her

FACE CLAIM: Aslihan Malbora

EYE COLOR: Brown

HAIR COLOR: Brown

HEIGHT: 5′6″

DATE OF BIRTH: February 18th

ZODIAC SIGN: Aquarius

HOGWARTS HOUSE: Slytherin

OCCUPATION: Ballerina

HOMETOWN: Manhattan, NY

FAMILY

mother: Dilara Sehin father: Adem Sahin older brother: tbd middle brother: tbd

CHARACTER HISTORY

Growing up in a noteworthy family within New York, Dilan didn’t have a need for a lot of things — her parents made sure of that. Her father inherited a multi million dollar chain of hotels from her grandfather and somehow a small town waitress (now) socialite landed him. 

Her older brother is first in line to take over and her father has been practically raising him for the role since he was born. 

She fell into the role of the background child, getting away with everything that didn’t affect the family publicly. 

Her parents drilled the importance of image and reputation into all of their children, informing them that something small could blow up in their faces and cost them everything. 

She figured being the baby of the family would help lighten their ideals, especially having two sons before she was born but Dilan was left living a double life — one where she wanted her name to mean something beyond the hospitality business. 

Her childhood love was ballet, from the age of 3 to now she’d found herself within the walls of a studio. She’d train during the week and left the weekend (Friday nights included) to secretly take on the nightlife with her friends. 

Dilan met her now ex boyfriend in a club, a man who didn’t know her as anything more than plain old Dilan. She felt like she could really be herself around him and he was the person that was always there when she needed someone. 

A few years ago she was there on center stage, playing Juliet in a small Broadway theater and her ankle went to give out on her. Her ex watched everything from the front row, her family didn’t catch it, but he saw the resilience in her eyes as she refused to let her body fall to the ground in front of a crowd. Once she got off the stage she could barely put pressure on her left ankle, still she didn’t let herself fall until she was alone with him in her dressing room. 

There was more than meets the eye to her boyfriend, he had a connection to someone who would allow her to keep her injury in the shadows. Sure under the table pain medicine wasn’t the most trustworthy thing, but it kept the public from seeing she had a weakness to prey on. 

Soon she didn’t need the pills at all, the injury healed, but that wasn’t enough for her to stop taking them. Though she never blamed her ex for the addiction, he was there with her every step of the way (also getting high) This made their relationship slightly unhealthy, but it was clear that the feelings between the two of them were real.

Her parents found out about the relationship and the ties he had to addictive substances and demanded she cut ties. The plan was to send her abroad and pay him to leave town — once he fled they found out the other side to their relationship and kicked Dilan out of her childhood home.

The girl did some digging and found out her parents had paid him to stay away and now he was demanding more or he’d go to the media and tell them everything he knew about the Sahin’s.

His trail led her to Helltown, Ohio. and she’s hoping she’ll be able to track him down and convince him to leave her alone.

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

I mentioned the other day that I was considering going to a comedy night I hadn’t tried before, but then thought I might just stay home since I got home so late from work due to trains breaking down and everything sucked. I made myself go out anyway, and this is a post to say: Sometimes, when you just want to stay home and make yourself go out anyway, you end up very glad you did and it’s a great time and then you try to remember how this felt so you can hold onto that for the next time you want to just stay home because it’s worth it to push through that! And it’s good to remember that until the time you go out and spend the entire time thinking “Oh God this is miserable and I have a nice bedroom with all my stuff in it and no people around in my house, next time I’m tempted to go out I must remember how terrible this is.” So it’s a balancing act. But this time it paid off.

It was a night that’s a little bit farther than the other local nights I’ve been to a bunch of times, but still walking distance if you’re willing to walk about 45 minutes, which I was. I hadn’t tried it before because my brother told me it’s not a good one, but actually, it was my third week in a row of going to one comedy night a week, and this was by far my favourite. Though one of the others is a normally good one that I caught on a bad day. I definitely want to go back to this one, though.

Anyway. So, I get there, and the guy at the door asks me if I have a reservation. I say no, and begin to worry, because these things don’t usually require booking in advance, but it’s Valentine’s Day, so maybe lots of people have made reservations to do date night here or something and it’ll turn out I walked 45 minutes in the cold for nothing. But then, the woman who runs the night saw me and told the guy at the door, “She’s a comic.” Which I’m definitely not. Before that night, I’d performed comedy six times in my life, five times on open spots in pub nights and once the local comedy club’s amateur night, across about six months, the most recent time being three months ago. I’m not even at a point where I can say “I perform comedy” – I go with “I have performed comedy.” I am definitely not a comic.

But this woman said “She’s a comic,” and the guy at the door apologized for questioning me, and directed me to the comics’ table. The woman who runs the night motioned for me to sit down with her, so I did, feeling quite awkward because I’m not a comic. These nights always have some area where the comics sit, and it’s not restricted to people on the bill, other comedians who’ve come by will also sit there. I’ve sat there when I’ve gone to comedy nights where I was actually booked on the bill, but otherwise I sit with the rest of the audience, because like I said, not a comic.

These nights have a host (MC, compere, they go by many titles), usually 6-10 people booked to do 6 or 7 minutes each, and one or two lotto spots where any comedians who weren’t booked can put their name in a pitcher and whatever name gets drawn can take the lotto spot. I didn’t go to the night with the intention of putting my name in the lotto. I hadn’t performed since mid-November, I wanted to go to a few comedy nights just to watch and get used to it again before I tried that, and I wanted to practice some of my stuff before signing up again.

However, once I was actually there I got a bit of adrenaline going, and also I felt awkward sitting at the comics’ table while not being a comic, and I figured if my name’s in the lotto, then I’ll count as enough of a comedian to justify my place at the table. So I put my name in. And then I sat and made awkward small talk with the other comedians. The woman who ran the night was very nice to me and told me she was glad I’d come out and put in my name to perform. Did I mention that I’ve seen her perform several times, she’s very funny, also she’s been on TV so I’ve watched some of her stuff online, also my brother texted me months ago to say she’d asked him if I was single? Just mildly relevant detail.

Anyway. The comedians at the Comics’ Table were all discussing what Valentine’s Day-themed jokes they were going to do at this Valentine’s Day-themed show, and I said I might actually just pop my name out of the lotto because I haven’t got any of those, and the woman who runs the night said it’s fine and it’s not like every joke has to be about romance or whatever, it’s just an idea.

The show starts, and it’s immediately clear that every single joke is about romance or whatever. Sex life, dating life, married life, long-term relationship life, sexual orientation. Everyone has gone through their repertoire and grabbed whatever jokes they can tie to that. I do not have a repertoire. I have a serviceable six to seven minutes, and a few new ideas that I’d wanted to try at some point, though I’d planned to do some practising at home before I actually tried them. None of those are related to my love life, because I do not have one. Also, normally there are 10 or 11 names in the lotto at nights like this, but for some reason on this night there were only like 3 names in there, so it seemed likely that I would need to come up with something.

This made me anxious about potentially getting picked, as did the fact that all the other comedians were great. It’s one of the best nights I’ve seen, in terms of these local open nights. I saw a couple of comedians whom I’d seen before they were funnier than usual on that night. And a few comedians I’d never seen before who were really funny. They were also mostly people who play professional spots at the local clubs. Which would have been great, if I’d been there to just to watch. To perform, I’d rather it be a shit night. My brother tells me that if the crowd laughs a lot at the people before me then that’s good, it means it’s a good crowd so I can get laughs too. But to me, laughter at the people before me just feels like pressure. I’d rather everyone before me absolutely died, so if I get any laughs then that’s great and if I don’t then it’s fine because neither did anyone else.

So, I got pretty fucking nervous as we got through all the spots on before the lotto. Which was apparently visible to the people around me, as the woman who runs the night told me to relax and take a deep breath, which was very kind of her, but might have been less about kindness and more about not wanting me to fuck up her event if I go up there and have a panic attack. They get to the lotto spot, and call my name, obviously. Of course they do.

It didn’t go amazingly well. I think the best set I’ve done by far was the last one I did for several months, in mid-November, when I did the amateur night at the actual comedy club. I timed it perfectly, I felt like I got every detail right of both the routines I’d been working on (there are only two that I’ve really tested in those six-minute spots, one of about two minutes and one of about four minutes), it worked exactly as I’d practised it so I didn’t come away thinking “Oh shit I forgot this bit” or worded something wrong, and they laughed at almost everything I said. That happened in November, because I’d actually carefully prepared for that. It did not happen on the Valentine’s night, as I had not prepared at all. However, given that I had not prepared at all, I think it went as well as it could have. It went pretty well. They laughed at most things that were supposed to be funny. I definitely didn’t perform it all perfectly, I was nervous and stuttery especially at first, and I forgot a few pieces, but overall it wasn’t bad.

I think this might be the first time that I’ve got to a point where I can say I have those initial two routines down as a thing to fall back on, and then try other stuff around it. Like, the first few sets were just trying to figure out if those routines I’ve done before work. I’ve now done them a few times, and can be somewhat confident that I know them even without obsessively rehearsing them, and they do make most crowds laugh, so I could try some stuff I’d just come up with and know that if it doesn’t work, I’ll just go into the other stuff that does. This was the first time I’ve done that, that I’ve done a set where not every single word was meticulously planned beforehand.

I did a couple of minutes of that at the beginning, nervously tried some stuff that I’d pretty much made up earlier in the night, about how I can’t do what the other comics did and go through my repertoire to find material about my love life, because I do not have a comedy repertoire, and I also do not have a love life. That got, to be honest, more laughs than it deserved. I then did some fairly weak comments about being approximately as gay as I look, which also got more laughs than it deserved, and then I mentally congratulated myself on successfully riffing before doing and abridged version of my two established routines and getting the fuck out of the (metaphorical) spotlight.

Then the woman who runs the night went up next, and she did a bunch of new material about love, mainly about being sick of love and just wanting to have sex with people. Including, at point, saying something fairly vulgar about what she’d like to do to me (after a routine about how she’s attracted to people who are shy and nervous, and then she just threw my name in as an example because I’d been so visibly nervous before my set). And I would like to say, I generally have a policy of thinking people on the internet can go way too far with forgetting that when comedians make jokes about wanting to have sex with each other, they are just joking, it doesn’t mean anything, there’s a fine line between fans also joking about it and fans thinking they’re serious, and the latter is weird and shouldn’t happen. I’m thinking of revising that policy, maybe we should all assume that comedians genuinely want to have sex with everyone they’ve claimed on stage that they want to have sex with. Maybe David Mitchell and Lee Mack really are fucking in the WILTY dressing rooms, and the very attractive butch woman who runs a comedy night really does want to [I’m genuinely not going to write down what she said because it really was quite vulgar]. (Also if a male comedian who barely knew me had said that about me on stage I’d have found it creepy and gross, and I feel only slightly guilty about the double standard of being just fine with it from a woman I find attractive, if I tried really hard I could probably find a way to justify that double standard but I don’t really feel like putting in those mental gymnastics, I’ll just accept the hypocrisy on this one.)

Anyway, then a few other comedians performed, they were also funny, it was a good night. It ended, several people congratulated me on my set. The woman who runs the night congratulated me on my set and also apologized for referencing me in her set, said she’d realized while I was performing that she could add my name to that bit and it would be funny, and she hoped I didn’t mind. I said yeah, no, cool, it was funny. And then I walked home.

Sometimes it’s worth going out. I’m going to actually practise my material before performing it again though. Also, I've spent the last few days working on minute aspects of wording and trying to figure out specific things like whether I should talk directly to the audience a bit more, and now every time I get into that I feel exactly like Elis James' in Elis' gig diaries, which also makes me laugh:

Oh, and the next day several of the comedians who were there that night added me on Facebook. Including the very attractive butch woman. Happy Valentine's Day, everyone.

[pbandjesse]

I had a good day. I feel like for a day I was trying to be restful I got a lot done but I don't feel completely worn out. I just feel regular tired.

I slept alright last night. James had to wake up early to go to work and they took an Uber because for some reason on Sundays the light rail doesn't run until almost 10?? Wild.

I slept until 9 and stayed in bed for a long time just scrolling on my phone. But I would get up and start my day.

I got dressed and felt real cute. My hair was excellent today. And I was in a good mood.

I had crackers for breakfast and did some work on my knitting. I had 6 rows to do and I did the first half before I decided to take a break.

I would go for a drive. I went to chipotle and had chips. It was rainy. But not horrible. I felt good. I ate my chips in the car and then went in the grocery store in that shopping center.

I was there for baking things. I got chocolate cake mix and cream cheese frosting. But most important I got a chocolate orange and orange flavoring.

I got eggs and went to pay. When I found $12! Amazing. So I got myself an angle good cake. It did not have a price on it so the nice cashier went to get a barcode and so I had to wait a moment but I mostly felt annoying to the people around me.

But once I paid I got out of there. And headed home.

I had to spend a few minutes cleaning the car. Last night when I went back out to go get James I found that a ketchup packet got stuck in the center console and exploded ketchup on everything. And I was super distressed about it last night. And was still distressed today. But I think I got all of the grossness off. I might like ketchup but I absolutely hate how it smells. So hopefully the smell goes away.

I would get to work on my cupcakes. And it went well!! I put a little more orange flavor then it recommended but it tasted perfect. And while I think the cake could have turned out a little better, I am still really happy and I think they are really pretty.

While they were cooling I kept working on my knitting. But I only got one more row done. Then I ran the dishwasher while I decorated my cupcakes. I used the Ziploc bag pipping method and it worked really well. I'm very pleased. And I got enough stuff to make another two dozen. Maybe for puhtok's party next week.

Soon I went to get James. And we would head over to AVAM to go to the gift shop.

I found some great stuff for presents. And just generally enjoyed walking around. James got a lot of stuff but I tried not to peak. They did have a miniature accordion and I know it's for Dante but I may go back because I kind of want one too. Maybe. We will see.

I got a discount because I worked there! I probably should have spoken up because then maybe James would have gotten the discount too but I wasn't thinking. I will apologize after I post this.

James's energy was dipping and their back hurt. So we went home after that. We got a little turned around but we got back here. I almost got us in an accident but it was okay in the end. I pulled out of the spot almost into a car I didn't see but they saw me and swerved. I wish I could apologize to them.

When we got inside I went to change and James started sorting laundry. They teased me for how much black I've been wearing and how it's messing up our laundry loads.

I went to work on quilt stuff. And James would head me up dinner. Fake fish sticks and green beans. And we would chill.

When the clothes were done I went and got a shower and then helped hang things up. I also took some pictures for ideas for packing for our Alaska trip. Which is hard to conceptualize because its in may. But I had fun anyway.

I am going to go get ready for bed now. I hope you all have a great night. Tomorrow James had a dentist appointment and we have the BMI holiday party. I am just hoping for a really nice day.

Goodnight everyone!

[queenofvengeance]

Long train journey ahead so here's the rundown of the exhaustion

Dad dropped gma at care home

Dad goes back to Nbank

Fridge and freezer turned off in may due to fuse trip

Kitchen floor is now covered in melted rancid food that has leaked out of rancid rotten fridge and freezer

Dad has to stay and clean this, misses first night in lake district

We head to Lake District and have first night there

Dad turns up late on second day

We settle in, finally a break.

I wake at 8am to missed calls from Somerset ranging from 2am to 6am

Phone rings again

It's the care home

Gma fell in the night around 2am, they think she's broken her hip, still waiting for ambulance

Go tell dad

Realise there is nothing we can do

Try and have nice day while still checking in

Gma still on floor

Kept company but not allowed food or drink because of suspected injuries

Ambulance takes FOURTEEN HOURS to turn up

Ambulance crew ring us and apologise

Gma into hospital

Xray, confirmed hip fracture

Surgery planned for next morning

Dad heads off early next morning

Gma survives surgery

We try to enjoy rest of holiday

Dad goes in to see Gma two days in a row

Father in law starts feeling ill, doesn't have a good birthday

Feels more ill, when we get home after 4 hour drive in car he takes a test

Positive for covid.

I call dad and hospital as many times as I can until I get response

Dad picks up before he goes in

I say don't go in, go test

Dad also positive

Scott and mother in law also start feeling ill and test positive

We call Gma to try and keep in touch

She's loopy and confused, making no sense, generally mentally a mess

I'm still negative, no symptoms

Fuck it, it's on me

I book Airbnb next to hospital and go to Somerset

Spend most of Saturday and all of Sunday in with Gma

Work days are up at 8, work to 4ish, go into hospital, spend time with Gma, leave at 7 45, buy ready meal, eat, shower, bed, then go again next day

Gma grateful I am there

But never remembers I was there yesterday

Her memory is now on 2 minute loop of about 10 observations that she will make over and over again

I make friends with the other ladies on the hip break ward

ALSO sewer at home backs up

Days at work interrupted by phone calls to hospital, Dad, and engineers

Gma then told she is medically fit for discharge (lol what)

Given pathway where she could be sent anywhere in Somerset

Thursday dad finally tests negative

Given care home for rehab, it's close by to hospital

Friday we wait 6 hours for ambulance transport to move her from hospital to care home

Move into care home Friday evening

Friday night I spend in pub as bed at Gmas not built

Saturday spent in care home getting gma settled

Sunday finally go home

Now I'm back to work

Bitch I am so fucking tired, and resentful, and scared, and angry, and devastated, and grateful, and all things at all times.

[la-principessa-nuova]

My weekly schedule I’ve been stuck in:

Monday: I’m so tired from staying up late doing homework yesterday. I need to just relax after work and watch TV or something.

Tuesday: I want to do something, but by the time work’s over I’m too tired. I’ll do a relaxing activity after work while listening to a podcast or something until it’s time for bed.

Wednesday: OK. I really need to start doing something today after work. But D20 is today. I should watch it. Oh look it’s 3 AM and I’ve done… NOTHING??? I really need to figure out this whole therapy thing. Let me continue compiling a list of potential therapists. This one seems good except for the multiple 1 star reviews alleging very serious breaches of trust and they have no website and I’m not sure if they’re still in business. Well, now it’s too late to send an email anyways, so I’ll table this until morning.

Thursday: At least I can watch D20 and Adventuring Party right in a row after work. Oh, I zoned out and missed the last 20 minutes of the Adventuring Party because I’m so tired from not sleeping enough last night. Now I’ll just get ready for bed early. Wait, HOW IS IT 4AM AGAIN???

Friday: OK, last work day. I need to get to sleep on time tonight even though it’s Friday night. Oh, but I’m falling asleep now at like 7. Just need to push through for another couple hours, then I can go to bed. Oh, it’s now 11 and I’m wide awake. I guess it’s Friday night, so I could go play a game for an hour or two. Oh look, it’s 4 AM again.

Saturday: OK, I woke up still technically in the morning. Time to go do my homework before it’s the last minute again and leave tomorrow for my personal projects. Oh wait, I’m still in bed on my phone and it’s 5 PM. How did that happen? Well, time to go have… lunch? dinner? What is time? Well, it’s now midnight and I’ve not been awake long enough to sleep, so time to stare at the ceiling until… yup, it’s 4 AM. Probably going to fall asleep finally soon.

Sunday: OK. I really need to do my homework now. No excuses. Going to get started now. Wait, what’s this? A text? My mom needs something? What a welcome distraction! Oh look I’ve just gotten home and it’s 11 PM. Time to do homework? Nope! First I need to have a snack and pace around for a couple hours. Now that it’s 2 AM, I can start my homework that’s due at 8 AM. Cool, I’m finally done now at 6 AM. Time to go to sleep and be online for work in 3 hours.

Repeat.

[asterlizard]

UK Trip October 2023 (Part 1)

(oh boy I have missed doing one of these!)

This was the first time travelling since the pandemic began, so of course there was a bit of stress while prepping for this trip. But because we were careful throughout the trip, we avoided anything that could have hindered us.

This felt like a part two to our trip back in 2019, with some unfinished business finally feeling finished. And yet, with only two weeks of travel time, even more unfinished business was made!

Like our previous trip, our flight would leave in the middle of the day, so we had to wake up pretty early in order to get to SFO, check-in, and board the plane on time.

Unfortunately for us, we didn't get much sleep that night. We also used a different ride-share service this time, rather than taking the bus, because our schedules would have conflicted.

We met up at 7:15, and had a good chat with our driver for almost the entire trip, who was from a small town in the Balkans of Bulgaria. When he brought this up, I brought up what I knew about the culture, mainly roses and yogurt (cultural knowledge is a really good ice-breaker!) While chatting, we'd deviate to other topics, including computer science and the rise of A.I. As we drove through San Francisco, he even recommended a restaurant to us! (Kevin's Noodle House)

We arrived at the airport after 9 AM, and checked our bags in pretty quickly. Our flight wasn't until 12:30, so we had plenty of time to kill. I did have a little something to eat before going through customs, but alas I wasn't hungry enough didn't have anything else until the flight.

The flight itself wasn't packed at all! I'm so used to flying during busy seasons, and this flight was like half full! We even got to move to an empty row so we could have a space to ourselves! (Thanks Shawn!)

While we wanted to be careful and were prepared to wear our masks during the flight, because we had plenty of space (There was someone in the row ahead of us, but they slept almost the entire flight, and an empty row in front of them) we didn't really need to! There was also plenty of hand sanitizer on board which I used multiple times to keep my mind at ease. And there were no screaming babies! It was a very pleasant flight!

Wildfire over Idaho?

Entertainment-wise, I got to watch two films on the flight:

'6/45': a funny Korean film about soldiers from the North and South fighting over a winning lottery ticket across the DMZ

'Lost Love': a bittersweet Hong Kong film about a couple who recently lost their young child to an illness, eventually trying out fostering children

Also got to listen to some 80s and 90s music (no 60s or 70s anymore it seems, RIP)

During the night portion of our trip, I saw the stars so clearly (alas I couldn't take good photos) It's also been a while since I've arrived in LHR during the dark. Day just started to break as we were landing.

Once we got to LHR, we travelled by rail to stay at a friend of mum's for a couple of nights (first time taking the Elizabeth Line! Though there were some delays)

When we got there, mum's friend drove us to Hastings and gave us a bit of a tour along the beachside.

Note: I'm using an old camera that has a few cracks in the lens that is unfortunately visible in some photos like the one above. I won't be sharing much of these.

They had a cute working mini railway! With a proper mini crossing!

>:U

Stopped to have a sample of some fudge (it was really really good, mum commented it was how her mum used to make it, I wish I had more!)

This place is so charming!

Tumblr is now limiting how many photos I can add to a post, and I don't have the heart to remove photos I want to share, so this journal will be split into multiple parts.

Here is part 2: [link]

[halfwayanywhere]

Alta Via 2 Day 6: The worse weather yesterday turned into worser weather today. The forecast called for rain, and the idea of staying put in Rifugio Volpi al Mulaz was considered. Still, ultimately, the boredom of a day in the hut lost out to the possibility of a rain-soaked adventure of uncertainty. Surprisingly, the gung-ho Dutchman from last night has decided not to risk a stint in the rain and will be staying put today. I put in a little effort to try to push him out the door, but I don’t want to end up feeling responsible for his having a terrible time if that’s what it comes to. Farewell, fellow AV2 hiker acquaintance. It’s not raining for the first climb (just foggy), and the day’s via ferrata section goes down without a hitch. All of the AV2’s via ferrata sections until now have been easily passable, and I am glad (so far) I’m not carrying any extra gear for these sections. Through the pass and what I expect will be the spiciest part of the day, the trail descends as the mist turns to drizzle and the breeze turns into whatever the opposite of a blasting furnace is. The weather may have robbed the day of views, but it has turned the surrounding mountainsides into cascading waterfalls - freezing, cascading waterfalls. According to the internets, the next hut, Rifugio Rosetta, isn’t the most welcoming. Pushing to the following (more highly reviewed) hut, Rifugio Pradidali, would be nice. But that’s not going to happen today. Fortunately, the internet appears to have lied (who even knew this was possible?), and the staff at Rifugio Rosetta are great - and the two owners (at least the two I assume are the owners because their photos are all over the walls) are total BAs who have summited mountains all over the world. Typically, this hut is busy due to its proximity to a cable car, but it’s not running today because of the weather. They may not have wifi (for guests), but they play Free Solo three times in a row, followed by some old-school bouldering videos. And, of course, there’s wines. Distance: 13.56 mi / 21.82 km Elevation gain: 3,625 ft / 1,105 m #altavia2 #dolomites

[azems-familiar]

Am straight up still thinking about that cassus / mandalore the ultimate fic you wrote, help??

You're welcome😌 my job here is done

In all seriousness though, thank you so much! It was very emotions to write and now I unfortunately have AU concepts in my head that are demanding to be written. They are not allowed to be written yet, because I have other things to work on, but I'm probably going to be writing some kind of "Cassus survives Dxun" oneshot in the future. He won't shut up now that I let him start talking😔

[sinfulseashell]

Meet Your Yandere Pt.4 (TR)

A/N: Hello everyone! Sorry for the wait! Here is Part 4 of 6! Enjoy 💖

Content Warning: Yandere Theme, Stalker, Manipulative, Clingy & Sadistic behavior. Mentions of murder, blood, use of weapons. Injury to MC.

Rindou Haitani: Stalker/Manipulative (5)

The first time Rin saw you was in the International Business course, raising a brow as you walked in taking your seat in the front row all he could do was watch you from that point on. Everything you did piqued his interest from the way you watched the Professor intently, down to your body language. He watched you so well that he could tell your emotion just by how you moved, being the TA had its perks especially since he had a front row seat to always be looking over at you. A part of him liked the fact that you were naive but that darker part of him wanted to ruin your so called innocence, consume it and mold it to be perfect just for him. After awhile however seeing you just in class wasn’t enough for him the need to see more of you began to slowly overtake him, it’s as if you began to flood his mind 25/8 nonstop thoughts of poured into his brain, from becoming the thoughts from class to every waking moment, and every dream he had.

The want, need all of it…he needed you to be his, not being able to bear another moment without seeing you. That's when he started to watch you from the moment you wake up to the moment you fell asleep everyday for months he would follow you. After awhile he knew your entire routine all of your classes, friends, hell he even knew when your mother would come into town it was quite adorable to watch you it truly entertained him throughout the day to see you get so excited over the small things. Everything was going so well until HE showed up, how could he not see this happening Rin was around you nearly every waking moment, but it seems that your so called “male friend” was something way more than what you lead on it was clear from the kiss you gave him. “Well this won’t do…” he scoffed while glaring at the two of you sitting at the cafe on campus.

From that day he had a plan to make you his and take you away from the idiot you called your “friend”. Since he was the TA for your major in business this was going to be simple, manipulating the Professor into letting him grade the work since he seemed to be “overwhelmed” with the other classes. “It would only be fair Professor, besides I am capable of grading the work and presenting it to you once I’m done, and whenever a student needs tutoring well then I’ll be happy to provide my services.” He smiled brightly. The Professor ultimately fell for his cunning words as he nodded, “Of course Rindou, I completely trust you to help me. As a matter of fact you can grade the essays that are due today, I just hope I don’t overwhelm you.” He sighed giving Rin a solemn look. “Oh not at all Professor, just leave it to me.” That night as he was grading the papers he came across yours smirking all the while as he worked his skills to manipulate your documents making it look as though you didn’t understand the assignment at all, “Let’s see how long you last with this failing grade…my pretty girl.” He chuckled and sent the documents back to the Professor.

A few days had past before you were asked to stay after class to speak with the Professor one on one, heading to his office where both he and Rin sat waiting for you. “Ah. I’m so happy you came, please have a seat. I actually wanted to discuss your grades.” He sighed and grabbed the documents he printed out. “It appears your grade has been dropping in my class, I’m truly becoming worried.” He frowned and handed you all of your assignments. “Is everything ok at the moment? It seems there are…other things that may be getting in the way of your learning.” You frowned and looked at your assignments with a confused expression written on your soft features. “I…I don’t understand? I mean, yes there are times where I am confused, but…” you were at a loss for words, the proof of there in front of you most of the assignments had “Failed” written in red ink causing you to slump in your chair and run your fingers through your hair.

“Don't be so upset. I am willing to give you another chance with Rindou here, he will be able to assist you with understanding the course.” The Professor smiled and looked over at Rin. “Yes. I will be happy to tutor you, but I will let you know my sessions are usually held one on one. I hope you don’t mind?” He questioned suddenly seeing you stand up. “No! Please! I…I need to pass the class, I’m willing to try anything. I’ll even pay for your service!” Your worried expression made his heart nearly stop as he cleared his throat and shook his head. “That won’t be necessary, I am doing this because I genuinely care, very well that settles it. Starting tomorrow we will have one on one sessions during your free hour.” He smiled and watched you nod happily. Slowly standing up he fixed his shirt and smiled while taking a step closer toward you, “Good. We need to get used to each other, especially since we will be spending a lot of time together.” He cooed while brushing some hair behind your ear. With those words slowly but surely you were claimed by Rindou solely, becoming his obedient princess.

Haruchiyo Sanzu: Clingy/Sadistic (10)

Your boyfriend was what some people would call it a psychopath. At first you would defend him telling people off and cutting them out of your life, but defending him became harder and harder once Sanzu began to take his “medicines” at least that’s what he liked to call them. You knew he was into popping pills along with other drugs, but because you truly loved him and wanted to stay…well you ignored it. Letting him take as much “medicine” as he wanted soon once or twice a month of binging his pills became a one to two times a week, then once a day and finally all day, everyday. At the end…you had enough, when he went on one of his many errands for his “friend” who you didn’t know of yet alone see, you took that opportunity to run for it.

Only packing items you could carry from your shared apartment and taking the small iron box filled with money you hid from Sanzu to start over somewhere else…somewhere far away from him. When Sanzu returned home that day he came home to an empty apartment, the feeling of unease filled his body as he quickly rushed through your once shared home and seeing all of your belongings gone. “THAT BITCH!” He yelled while punching the mirror and panting aggressively, but anger was soon replaced with grief as he fell to his knees, tears streaming down his face, “No….no…she can’t leave me…” after his brief moment of denial, maniacal laughter filled the apartment. “You think…you can leave! Leave ME! No…haha…no I’ll find you…and I’ll kill you..” he laughed again as he stood up taking a deep breath before popping yet another pill, his eyes dilated and he laid back on the bed staring up at the ceiling. “Poor naive little girl…my stupid baby…your mine.” He whispered before drifting off to sleep.

It's a miracle that you got away when you did, feeling that luck was on your side. It took a while as you got back on your feet and eventually you felt your confidence return, you finally stopped looking over your shoulder at every waking moment, finally feeling free…over time you healed. Meeting someone new who treated you way better than Sanzu ever could, you were utterly and incandescently happy. It’s been almost two years since you and your boyfriend had gotten together, already moved in and ready to take the next step, the love that the two of you shared hit you hard and it felt amazing to have someone love you and treat you with the respect you deserved. Not having to constantly tell someone what needed to be done, and honestly you didn’t feel embarrassed to show him off to your family and friends, everything was perfect…that was…until your anniversary came up.

The night was spent with the love of your life spoiling you rotten, and ending with him proposing to you. This was it, your happily ever after, and you were excited to take this step into your new life with the ease and strain of the past now a distant memory. After finally making it home from the long night the two of you had, it was time to cuddle and make sweet love until the morning sun came up watching as your now fiancé walked towards the room to prepare his little surprise, you made your way to the kitchen grabbing two glasses and a bottle of your favorite wine. The ring on your hand glistened with every movement you made as you turned to grab the corkscrew from the drawer when you heard a thump coming from your bedroom. “Babe! Are you ok?” Silence. “Babe?” You called out once more and walked towards the hall to suddenly see a familiar face adorned with scars, and your fiancé’s bloodied, lifeless body being dragged behind him.

“S-sanzu…” you whispered, suddenly falling back onto the floor. “W-what…wha-…WHAT DID YOU DO!” You screamed as tears fell down your cheeks. His maniacal smile only widened as he watched the tears streak your delicate cheeks. “Sanzu…Sanzu oh what did you do?” He mocked and let out a boisterous laugh. “You’re a fucking idiot if you think I’m going to let you get away from me. Stupid cunt.” He hissed the expression he held was empty showing now signs of remorse for the murder he just committed. Dropping your fiancé’s head to the floor it clacked against the wood blood spilling from the wound on his head, Sanzu walked towards you kneeling down and grabbing your head roughly. “Two years baby…TWO FUCKING YEARS AND HERE YOU ARE WITH THIS PIECE OF SHIT!” He laughed before grabbing his gun and pointing it to your head. “Question is…should I just kill you and be done?” A sudden tear escaped from his eye as he smiled widely stretching the scars on the corner of his mouth. “No…i'm going to make you suffer…just like you made me suffer.”

You let out a choked sob “S-Sanzu please…I’m sorry…” you managed to whisper. “Oh? Are you sorry now? Well…” he stood up and glared down at you. “FUCK YOUR SORRY!” He yelled suddenly using his foot to stomp harshly on your leg, easily breaking it. A painful scream slipped past your lips and filled the room as he laughed before shoving the gun into your mouth and yanking your head back, his eyes trailed from your terrified eyes to your lips that wrapped around the barrel of his gun. “Fuck…why you have to make me horny now? You look so good like this…I love it.” He growled and yanked at your hair again, now removing the gun and replacing it with his lips roughly pressed against yours. When he pulled away a chuckle filled the empty space between the two of you, “Let’s go home, my stupid girl. We have a lot of catching up to do.” He winked and lifted you into his arms, from that day on you were never out of his sight shackled to him…forever.

Taglist: @brownsugarmoonie @islascafe @sano-obsessed @rxmera @blkladyelle @rome-alone @bontens-cum-slut @miyuaditt @reiners-milkbiddies