#i spent way too much time on this little shitpost anyways

[lycorisicecream]

[monimccoythings]

Tiny and cute!

Here I come with a new one! Thanks to all the shitposts that give me life and inspiration to write this! I think this might be the last one I write of this series for now, because I’m literally out of ideas lol. But it has been really really fun. I really enjoyed it. But don’t worry, I’ll keep posting if I get more ideas.

Ayyy lmao when I get a better quality of the angery boi in a pickle jar I update it. This contains spoilers!!! If you haven’t watched the movie yet, go and watch it now! It’s worth it!

Previous parts: 1 and 2

Next parts: 4 and 5

tags: @loveforfandomsstuff @harpy-space​

After so many tiring weeks working your ass off for the minimum wage, you finally got a very well deserved vacation. Which you were totally planning to spend with your friends and your little pal.

He was such a grumpy pants, he cussed you whenever you came close, but deep down inside his little black heart you knew he craved the attention. If only he didn’t try to bite your fingers with his hampter teef.

So, you, Peach, Mario, Luigi and Toad set off on a journey to the Kong Kingdom, a tropical paradise, for a week of unashamedly lazing off. Since nobody trusted Bowser to be left on his own without causing a ruckus (throwing the piano over and over again against the bars of the cage), you so kindly offered to bring him along in a pet carrier. Oh he was big mad now.

Didn’t help that you kept feeding him apple slices through the bars saying “does the Big Boy want his appy slices?” and it certainly didn’t help either that the Big Boy really wanted his appy slices. To make up for the embarrasment, maybe you’d let him take a sip of your Caipiranha plant cocktail.

The Kong Kingdom was something you wouldn’t have even imagined in a thousand years, and you came from the Mushroom Kingdom. Throw tropical paradise, with Aztec aesthetic and Nash Car in a blender, mix it, and that’s what you get.

One of the Kongs kindly took you all to your huts and very wisely ignored all the Traffic regulations and laws of safe driving, which moved you so much, you spent the entire journey with tears in your eyes and your mouth open in a never ending scream of pure terror.  Yeah, next time you were walking.

One of the most peculiar traditions of the Kongs that you experienced there was some kind of tournament in a stage that was literally floating on air. You had to say it was a bit awkward when the kinda handsome? and cocky prince of the Kongs invited you all over to ‘smash’. Oh well, it would be way too difficult and weird to explain it to them anyways, and quoting Mario, ‘that was a pipe that wasn’t worth exploring’.

The tournament was like watching a real gladiator battle, but the gladiators had superpowers, and they were monkeys. Of course DK won, since, until Mario, he was the undefeated champion. He was a show off, you were truly impressed and cheering for him. He sent a flirtatious wink your way. And a loud thump was heard from inside the carrier. Awww, potato man didn’t want anybody else catching your attention. That was so sweet of him, actually.

The truth was, that despite this being a bit of a holiday, the real reason you all were there was because the turtle had to answer for his crimes against the Kong Kingdom. Godzilla v. Kong. It was jury duty for your friends, yaaayy.

Apparently Bowser didn’t get the memo. He was absolutely angery, screaming, raging, fighting. There was no way to handle him. To try an coerce him out of the carrier and into a proper cage was a task no Kong was patient enough to endure.

Would have it been easier to handle if he had remained in his temporary enclosure? Yeah, it would, but Kongs were monkeys with deeply rooted traditions, and if the teeny mutant ninja toitle had to be in a cage on the witness stand, then he would be in it, conscious or not. Looks like they had very little regard for the rules of the courtroom, but he had tried to kill them, so they were even.

Nobody took into account the possibility that he would manage to break free and make a run for the entrance. Tbh, it was kinda sad to watch him give the effort of his life trying to get to a door that was like ten feet away from where you all were. Still, no Kong was able to lay a hand on him, given how slow he was and how eager he seemed in getting hit, it was as if they were avoiding him on purpose. Peach would later explain you that given the nature of the power up, if he got hit in any way the mushroom would loose its effect and would turn him back to his original size, which was a big nope.

While the jury was debating wheter let him enjoy what little freedom he would have before he was tricked back into the pet carrier or just pick him and finish it, you had a moment of enlightment. That was it, the moment you had been waiting for for the last months, what you had unconsciously been training for your entire life. This was your moment to shine, your moment to be the hero, your moment to-

“Look at you so tiny and cute!” You gushed, picking him up, mindful of the spikes in his shell. He wiggled, trying to be set free and demanding you to put him down that instant or throw him as hard as you could against the wall. But the only thing you wanted to do was...

* smooch * You kissed the tip of his nose. You had been wanting to boop it since day one, and its scales were as soft as you had imagined. Your life dream had been achieved.

Bowser went very still in your hold. His eyes were wide and his pupils had shrunk with shock. The Kongs looked horrified at you so casually holding a narcissistic and psychotic tyrant like a pet, Peach was awkardly smiling at the eldest Kong, Cranky, while Mario and DK were trying as hard as they could to not burst out laughing. Luigi quietly snapped a pic and quickly hid the phone in his overalls, when the guards shot him dirty looks.

It were a couple of uncomfortable minutes that felt like years for all of you, until someone decided to clear their throat, snapping all out of their stupor. Bowser was still frozen so putting him inside the cage was easy. And so, the trial went on without any more disturbances. Whetever the sentence was, he didn’t hear it, nor did he care. Because his mind was occupied by something else. The kiss.

BONUS SCENE

You didn’t know how it had all started but suddenly there was a loud explosion and the entire castle was on flames. Tumbling, you made your way through a bunch of screaming toads towards the source of the blast. Because you perfectly knew where it had started.

The thick smoke made your eyes watery and you blinked several times, trying to clear your vision through the tears. You coughed several times, your lungs ached and you felt like you were going to pass out at any given moment. But you had to keep going fowards, make sure everyone got out safe. And by everyone you meant every single one of the creatures inhabiting this castle.

Finally, you reached the giantic doors. Exhausted, you tripped and desperately clinged onto the golden knobs, burnng your palms in the process due to the overheated metal. Thankfully, your weight was enough to pull the doorknob and push the door open.

You fell against the cracked marble floor, the only things in front of you were the dark columns of smoke that clouded your vision and the burning roar of the flames in your ears. Until, you saw it.

A gigantic dark shadow with glowing red eyes pulled out from the darkest of nightmarish Hells. The eyes burned with a flaming passion and seemed to be piercing your soul. For the first time in a long time, you felt true fear running through your veins. Still, you were too stunned to move.

A low rumble came out of that disturbing sight. It started to approach you, with every step it took the ground shook, and the less time you had to make a run for it. A shiver ran down your spine at the thought that were you brave enough to run, this monster would catch you in a matter of seconds despite its size.

A sob got caught in your throat when the smoke cleared and you got to see the owner of those eyes.

Your little fella. Your beloved tiny musical tot that played piano. Literally everyone’s warnings against him suddenly came to mind. He was not so little now.

Bowser extended one hulking arm, and with one of his meaty fingers, he dragged a claw through your collarbone without breaking the skin, like some twisted version of a caress. He let out a low purr, certainly deepest than it had sounded merely days ago. “Look at you...So tiny and cute...”

[lethesbeastie]

My betta fish, Achilles, passed this morning.

I haven't talked about my fish here much, aside from the occasional shitpost or silly doodle, but they've done a lot for me, especially Achilles.

See, Achilles was the very first fish I bought. I got him back in January of 2023, and as of today I'd had him for almost two years. I know that might not seem like much, but Achilles was a petstore betta— their lives tend to be short due to shitty breeding and terrible keeping in corporate locations. I knew going in that, as hardy as betta can be, there was a chance I'd fuck things up and lose him if I wasn't careful.

I've had a lot of experience losing pets. Like a lot of kids who get into exotic animal keeping, I started with lizards I caught in my backyard as a child and worked my way upwards through various "beginner" pets that I usually took in from family after their care became too burdensome for them. I loved those animals, but I'm not going to lie and say that I didn't fail them more often then not. I had mental health issues and school and grew negligent with cleaning tanks. After I lost my leopard gecko Lillian back in 2020, I decided I wasn't going to keep anything until I had the mental capacity to care for it properly. I didn't have the time to anyway; I was going to college and couldn't exactly keep a pet in the dorms.

I tried other things in the meantime. Threw myself into art even more, got into dnd, tried (and failed) at making terrariums with moss. I got better mentally, then had to live at home after freshman year of college and got worse.

Eventually, I realized I was getting a lot worse, and that I needed something to focus on to drag me out of it. I needed something I could care for, but that I could set up in a way that it would be able to sustain itself if I fell off mentally again. I started getting into terrariums once more, then isopods. I came across Serpadesign on YouTube, fell in love with the notion of building vivariums. And through that, I discovered a newfound desire to keep fish.

I do not want to prop up stereotypes: fish are not "easy" pets, no matter what petstores tell you. I did not go into fishkeeping because I wanted to put an animal in a bowl. I got into fishkeeping because I saw that it was possible to create a self sustaining ecosystem at an accessible size if I was willing put in the proper work. And god, I was willing to put in the work. I spent months scouring the aquascaping community on YouTube for tutorials and process videos, did research into the best types of fish for small tanks and the most ethical ways to keep them. I had spare tanks from my old reptile keeping days that I could easily repurpose for fishkeeping, and I spent every spare penny from Christmas and birthdays on buying up hardscape and natural decor.

And one day, while browsing my local petsmart, I saw Achilles.

I loved him the second I saw him, the moment I picked up his little cup and was greeted with the most indignant stare. He flared at me, which I'd never seen a betta do in a cup before. I was enamored, decided that I had to take him home.

I bought him on impulse, which wasn't the smartest thing to do. I didn't have a tank set up yet. I just knew I had the supplies and that I could make an early setup safer by dosing beneficial bacteria to jumpstart the nitrogen cycle. My first tank wasn't as naturalistic as I'd hoped, but it was functional, and I knew I could add more plants as time went on and Achilles settled.

Like I said, it's been almost two years. I've gone from keeping an underwhelming five gallon with gravel to several fully furnished naturalistic tanks with riparium plants for additional biological filtration. I still make mistakes now and then, since fishkeeping is a continuous learning process, but I've been able to provide my fish a home that sustains them naturally, and I have aspirations to build more tanks when finances and time allow.

None of this would've happened without Achilles. I would never have had the courage to do this if I hadn't fallen in love with the silly betta I found that day in 2023. He's been a constant friend, a source of joy, and a reason for me to keep going.

I'm going to miss him very, very much. But I can take heart in the fact that he brought me into a hobby I loved. Sparked a passion that will stay with me for life. Feel proud of the fact that I gave him an enjoyable life for the time in which he shared my home.

Achilles inspired one of my favorite creative writing pieces I did last year, so I'll share that here in his honor. It's called Betta Splendens, it's about fish, petstores, and the existential dread of living in late-stage capitalism as a disabled person.

[rah-nee-yah]

i literally planned to post this like two weeks ago but i was scared people would think im delusional (i am, actually)

BUT im on a high rn after that vi clip and im just bouncing off the walls and im actually so excited and after linkin park was finally announced to be part of the ost i really wanted to post this…

but what if chappell roan is the mystery artist on the ost…

I KNOW WHAT UR PROBABLY THINKING BUT JUST HEAR ME OUT DUDE (this is a joke pls dont take this seriously 🙏🙏)

HERE IS MY EVIDENCE:

i made a post of how chappell and jinx have a joan of arc inspired getup

this one is obviously a very big stretch because anyone can reference joan of arc, so i would like to turn your attention to her vma performance.

first off, the obvious reference is she has two braids for jinx. but lets observe the prop she has in her hands. a crossbow headed for a castle…almost a parallel to an ultra mega death rocket hitting a certain council building…

when she shoots the crossbow, spark effects form an X and the lighting turns BLUE, not an expected red or orange, again another reference to jinx.

i think what really made me start developing this theory is this pose chappell does. she does it twice during the performance. i think it might be a reference to jinx’s obsession with guns and this little moment. also why tf would she go out of her way to make this pose?? when she’s singing in this part, she isn’t saying the lyric “shoot another shot” (which is when u would expect her to make this pose).

this may also explain why track ten has been hidden. around a year ago, when someone from arcane said they were in contact with a big artist, which im assuming is linkin park (theyre ranked like 34 on spotify), chappell wasnt a huge celebrity yet. it wasnt until around april that she really started to gain popularity, and i mean A LOT of popularity, probably to almost the same degree as linkin park. at this point, the team prolly just decided to hide her song for shits and giggles like they did with the linkin park song.

anyways this is the part where my theory is based off pure no evidence speculation and personal indulgence, but if this ends up coming true, i hope her song ‘subway’ is the one for arcane cuz it fits caitvi so well and i need that banger released NEOW. not to mention, if it is track ten, it would be played in the middle of the season, which is during the speculated caitvi divorce arc. (also, im pretty sure chappell started performing the song in early june and yk what else came out early june?? THE ARCANE S2 TEASER)

either way, it probably isnt chappell roan (EVEN THOUGH I WOULD LOVE IF IT WAS). im dying to know who the track ten song belongs to. why is it still hidden?? is it somehow an artist bigger than linkin park?? someone mentioned rihanna since fenty worked with riot on mel’s design, and i really like that idea (although it is DEF not happening rihanna is too big of an artist). now that i think about it, i would love a song about mel…

anyways this is a complete shitpost (that i spent WAY too much time on) if ur reading this and somehow put up with me yapping about my delusions, thank you ur a real one 🫡🫡

[kaleidoscope1967eyes]

Okay so I’m basically at the end of Hard Days Night and omg-

I keep expecting the bloopers parts to play during certain songs (Like I want John’s voice to crack a

I like how everyone knows them and also doesn’t give a shit about who they are at the same time

I. Am. A. George. Harrison. Lad.

I mean seriously he is so fucking sassy and quick omg

John’s comedic timing also. I like to believe he didn’t follow the script and screwed around with that stuff

Back to George- I’m Happy Just To Dance With You? Top tier song. My favorite from the movie followed up by This Boy acoustic

God the way they treat Ringo

I have a whole new page of George pictures.

Anyway 9/10 experience

That's honestly one of my favorite things about Beatles movies--they never take themselves too seriously, and the humor is just impeccable! (aka timeless in the sense that to this day, it still feels like a shitpost and is funny by modern standards of humor)

For real!!! They really are Just Guys™ and I'm glad this movie acknowledges that :p

GEORGE!!! GEORGE FOREVER!!!

I like how he subverted the expectations regarding the whole "quiet Beatle" stereotype, and that makes his delivery even funnier

John is a little shit and he's so ridiculous here--he understood the assignment and just. took off.

I LOVE THAT SONG SO MUCH??? IT'S SO GOOD!!!

RINGOOOOO ;3;

Yes you do. One time I spent over an hour staring at the montage of the photographer taking pictures of George Harrison's face

[doyouknowthemossinman]

So, pack up your car, put a hand on your heart Say whatever you feel, be wherever you are We ain't angry at you, love You're the greatest thing we've lost

Danny's memory of Mike being at his graduation in LW ch. 16 was so transformative for me for NO reason.... ANYWAY

Context for the first image is Danny packing for college and saying bye to the Fazgang... I realize that cutting the rest of the images left that out. And by proxy the second one is Mike's appearance at his graduation!

These were supposed to be the ending parts to a longer comic-looking part that included the rest of the chorus of the song, but I hated it so much!!! You can literally tell that I spent so much more time on the second part but it's the one that's more emotional anyway??? So I'm ok with it lol

On a wayyyy more personal note my little journey drawing and writing for these two has been so so so healing for me. I just moved up to University and dealing with that has been as tough as it probably is for everyone else, but this has become my outlet for it I guess! Mike just being The Way He Is helps a lot!! Especially the way he treats Danny and Max in canon. I guess I imprinted on Danny because he's technically the series' everyman, but his anxiety and gentleness is something I relate to. I, too, was once a sixteen-year-old trying to hold down a job in food service... I'm really glad I came back to this series when I did. I would re-read Devil's Spine every few months as a pick-me-up bc I love Mike in that fic, but coming back and re-reading the series as a whole (and as an adult with a better reading comprehension lmao) gave me a new appreciation for the rest of the cast, too, and especially Danny obviously. My appreciation for the whole series and for its wonderful author knows no bounds!!!!! I can't put into words how much love I have in my (albeit small) being that is directed at KGA and @charlieslowartsies; I have to stim it all out but you can't see that, so I have to try words anyway 😭

HEY. Just because I wrote this big-ass confession or whatever doesn't mean I'm done with making content for the KGA!!!! I have a to-do list and by god I will do maybe at least half of it!! I just wanted to put my personal shit on the Really Good artwork instead of the shitposts that are coming down the pipeline ;P

[Seriously, the LOML]

[lotus-pear]

Your thoughts on the best robot duo?✨

I have a list, actually✨

[ayy-junipei]

Juni Update

Warning this post contains feelings

So I kind of just want to give you guys an update for what's been happening this past year and why things I said would happen haven't. I'll put it in the simplest possible words:

Me Juni own home now. Not working class any more.

(Shoutout to grandma for forgetting to write me out the will love ya)

Like I never thought this would happen and it fucking did my dudes. I vividly remember when I was writing Missing Perspective that it'd basically be my little Polyhedron. Like I wasn't going to last much longer than that and it'd be my legacy on the internet so my memory would live on.

It's been difficult writing Missing Perspective Director's Cut when basically it's even more difficult for me to read it now. Like all these feelings by me are in this and I remember it all like it was yesterday. Shit feels bad man.

And all the comics I started and never continued feels bad too. Like the imposter amogus sequel comic or my original countryside adventures comic. Just never really got round to finishing those off and now it's way too late to do something about it even though they're both how I got "popular" on this "social media" website.

(Oh and restarting Mirror Gate, ancient 2010 Code Geass fanfic after going through a mid-life anime crisis but shutup about that I'll get to it when I get to it)

Like I'm still going to be having a few mental breakdowns every hour or so on account that I have spent more money than I ever owned in my entire life, the UK is still a pile of hot garbage, I do not have a shower or hot water, and I am a sad lonely person deep down.

I'm halfway through my working life guys. I'm getting old and need to figure out what the hell I want to do now.

Anyway time to find where the fuck I packed my tablet so I can shitpost about Code Geass and Wobbledogs again so stay tuned.

[clanoffelidae]

Please please PLEASE be the sooner end

Story as to what this is and why I'm spending way too much money on it under the cut

SO. I haven't been super active in the Doctor Who fandom like, ever really, but rest assured I've been watching the show and have consumed fan content for it for well over a decade now. I've just never really gotten into the hang of interacting with other members of the fandom much myself. (To be fair being an active member of any fandom is still pretty new to me)

So, naturally, as a result, I wouldn't expect anyone to know this about me, but I am a HUGE fan of The Master. I'm a huge fan of villains in general honestly, any of my followers who followed me for Trinity Blood shitposts can attest to that since I literally never shut up about Cain. (shaped like a son <3)

But, like many other fans who got started with nuwho, my first introduction to The Master was with good ol' John Simm and the Harold Saxon plot. So, naturally, this plot holds a very special place in my heart. Even if Simm!Master isn't my favorite anymore, that doesn't mean I don't still love the round-faced rat man very much and have great nostalgic affection for his first two stories.

So, be me a few months ago, refreshing myself on the contents of that scheme on the wiki, mostly just because I was on the Master's page looking for something I can't even remember at this point and because I have about as reliable an attention span as a wet potato chip has structural integrity I was clicking around on links and going on a rabbithole through the pages. And while I was skimming through the Saxon plot I saw mention of something I certainly didn't remember in the episode. Apparently The Master had given a speech at the school Harold Saxon claimed to have gone to?? And hypnotized a bunch of people and manually implanted memories in some teacher who didn't respond to the hypnosis?? I didn't remember anything about that.

Turns out, it's extended universe content. But while I haven't actually consumed much extended universe content directly (I'm still catching up on NuWho and my ADHD brain won't let me delve into the old series or any EU content until I'm done with that. Brain just said no.), I know a fair few things from it, especially in relation to my boy. Like come on, what kind of Master fan would I be if I didn't even know about him being the Champion of Death, being from house Oakdown, having the school nickname Koschei, like come on. I even know about Mestizer! But I've NEVER heard of this little tidbit before. What speech??? What is this???

Turns out, it's from a short story that was released in 2009. Appropriately titled 'Speech Day'. It was released in a collection of Doctor Who related short stories. But the reason I'd never heard about it before is that while all those other stories have been reprinted in 2015, Speech Day was NOT. The ONLY place to find it is at the back of this short story collection (titled 'The Doctor Who Stories').

Anyway I spent way too much money on this considering the fact that I ONLY want it for Speech Day and don't care about any of the other stories (though I'm sure I'll read them eventually) but my brain made an exception for this piece of EU content based on the sole fact that it seems like it's only gonna get harder to get ahold of as time goes on since it hasn't been reprinted and likely won't be. But it is now en route. :)

Anyone else have Speech Day? Did you like it?

And also just the short story collection in general lol. I mean I bought it solely for The Master content but if I have the book I'm sure I'll read the others too, anyone who's read it have any favorites?

(It's intended to be more of a children's book from the looks of things so that's probably also why I haven't heard much about it. But I'm hardly going to be picky when a whole new piece of content about the plot that first introduced me to The Master drops into my lap lol.)

So yeah this is one of my christmas presents to myself. <3 Merry belated crisis.

[radramblog]

Some thoughts on Deltarune Chapter 2

I’m going to try to avoid being effusively praising of this game…demo…chapter. I’m sure there’s plenty of people doing that already, and I am more than cognizant of the platform I am presenting this post on. That’s going to be tough, yeah, but I’ll make it work.

I’m also going to try to avoid spoiling the thing too hard, even though there are spoilers everywhere and certain supposed-to-be obscure things are widespread at this point. But, someone could still end up reading this before they play it, so I’m going to hold my tongue a fair bit as a result.

With that in mind: new chapter is obviously out, so how does it stack up?

…I think it might be better than the first one. In my opinion.

Undertale 22 over here is a continuation of the first chapter, released about 3 years ago, taking place literally the next day in-universe. Chapter 1 coming out was a Huge Deal, not in the least a result of how it was announced. Despite the distance since the release, the Undertale fandom was still simmering along, and with an announcement that appears tied to one of that game’s biggest mysteries, it was no wonder that it was going to make some waves.

Chapter 2’s release was a surprise for different reasons. I believe at the time of the first demo, Toby stated that the remaining chapters would release as one, but that it would take a long time on account of the game being so much more complex than Undertale and not playing as much to his strengths. Of course, a lot happens in 3 years, especially with the last couple being as they have been, so Chapter 2 got its own release about a week ago.

I suppose I should stop beating around the bush and explain why I think Ch.2 is better than Ch.1, huh? I think there’s three main factors that swayed me.

Prologues and introductions always have to do one thing, and that is to familiarise the audience with the setting and characters. Despite sharing many side characters with its pseudo-prequel, Deltarune Chapter 1’s main cast are all completely fresh, and those side characters are in an unfamiliar form, and so much of the game is spent establishing cast dynamics. We have to learn who Susie, Kris, and Lancer are, and how the dynamics between them will be working for the stories to come.

However, there is the slight difference that Deltarune Chapter 1 is kind of a complete story. It’s like the pilot to a tv series- you have to establish characters, yeah, but you still have to get the plot spinning, and those characters still need to have small arcs over the course of the story. Susie and Lancer are kind of the only ones to go through actual arcs across the first chapter, given Ralsei’s currently kind of static character and Kris being a blank slate entirely.

By contrast, Chapter 2 has these dynamics in play from the get-go, and we get to more deeply explore them as a result, making the character work overall stronger. And while there are new characters at play, two of the three (arguably four) new players are already established in Chapter 1, and so we don’t need to spend as much time getting to know them. Character interactions are at the core of many styles of storytelling, and with the quirky characters we have to work with, getting more time seeing them do that is great!

The second of why I like Chapter Two better is just the gameplay. A fair few little tweaks have been made to make the whole thing cleaner- enemies now have a parallel meter to their HP bar to show how close to sparable they are, so pacifistic players have a better idea of their progress in longer fights. For those players, actually having Susie and Ralsei get ACT options is great, seeing as it makes them substantially more useful (especially Susie). When I replayed Chapter 1 in preparation for playing Chapter 2, I found myself just Guarding with them over and over while Kris did most of the work.

And the creativity with the fights is ramped up a whole bunch. This is another Not Being The First Part thing, but now that the player is used to how fights in this game are going to go, the complexity gets to increase to match, and the characterisation of the bosses and even generic enemies can better be expressed in the gameplay. I remember being genuinely shocked at how much was going on with the Ambyu-Lance enemy’s highway bullet pattern, especially when combined with other enemies in the fray.

I very much enjoyed the secret boss. Oh come on, that’s not a spoiler, everyone knows about Jevil at this point, and you get hinted at it super early on! And it’s way easier to find than Jevil was!

Anyway. My final point is just that I do like the characters in Chapter 2 better- particularly the antagonists. As fun as Lancer is, the sort of annoying whacky child characters are never something I’m particularly fond is. Even though he’s written really well, it took a lot to sell me on him. As well, as sicknasty as the King’s boss fight was, as well as the scenes surrounding it being an excellent summation of the point of the game as a whole, he’s not an especially interesting character.

And while I suppose Queen isn’t particularly deep either, everything about her is so unbelievably fun. I was pretty much sold on her immediately, with that regal “ohohoho” laugh followed by just absolutely shitposting for the entire length of the game. Her presence makes so much of this game an utter blast. Her presence reminds me a lot of the characters in Undertale who were mostly just there for one area, Alphys in Hotland and the skeletons in Snowdin, constantly popping in to keep things moving, giving each area its own little arc, and generally be fun and amusing along the way. And since each chapter of Deltarune is a lot longer than one arc of Undertale, it’s for the best that Queen manages to make this much of a good impression about the whole thing.

As I’ve stated, I think most of the reasons why Deltarune Chapter 2 are a simple result of being a Chapter 2 rather than a Chapter 1, rather than being any fault of Chapter 1’s (and the last point is basically personal preference). Both are obviously still excellent, and I’m happy to wait patiently for the series to continue if it keeps up this level of quality. At the end of the day, like, this game is currently free. And it provides a better and longer experience than a lot of actually paid games I’ve played. Toby Fox has managed to be a big shot after literally releasing one and two sevenths of a game, and it doesn’t seem like he’s going to be slowing down anytime soon. Here’s hoping that the assistance he’s apparently getting for future chapters works out such that it doesn’t end up sacrificing quality, but I don’t see this happening quite yet. I suppose only time will tell, but I’m optimistic. Filled with determination, as some would say.

no that’s cringy cut that one sheesh okay let me out of here im done

[demetriandelibinaryboyfriends]

Hi,

I love your blog. I just wanted to share a couple of Hawk X Demetri thoughts that keep reverberating in my head.

1) During the home invasion, when Kyler is pounding Miguel on his back, you can see in the corner out-of-focus Binary Brothers still fighting together and giving each other handshakes, which made me think, "Man, now that they reunited, those two can't stay away from each other even a bit!" Speaking of which, the way they are forced to snap back from their new-found love friendship bubble to fight the Cobra Kais around them always makes me laugh. They are caught so off guard that Hawk leverages on Demetri's hand to throw a kick.

2) After the arm breaking, when Demetri is screaming in pain, I sometimes wish he had yelled "ELIII!!" in the most heart-breaking tone, as if to say "HOW COULD YOU DO IT?!?", sending Hawk on a MASSIVE guilt trip. (If you think about it, that scene makes the line "You'd actually hurt me?" even sadder) Also, on a side note, I'm pretty sure Eli cried at home that night.

3) I have pictured a training scenario for S4. Each Eagle Fang is trying the moves partnering with his Miyagi Do counterpart, and obviously Demetri is with Hawk. Everything is going well, until Hawk puts him in an arm lock position, which triggers in Demetri the memory of the laser tag incident. Time stops and Demetri starts to panic, his body feeling like jelly. Hawk notices and eases his grip on him, asking him if everything's alright. But Demetri apologizes and runs outside Miyagi Do trying to ease his anxiety, because, as much as he wants to forgive his friend and trust him again, that memory is too painful. So Hawk chases him and places his hand upon Demetri's shoulder, causing him to flinch. But then he goes: "It's me, Eli" in a soft tone to reassure him, and Demetri goes all starry-eyed.

That's all, folks. I don't know what I'm doing with my life.

Anon, these are great and I had to share them with the world!!!

1) YES, THEY DO!!! They literally cannot stop fighting together once they start, it’s great!!!! It IS pretty funny when they’re Having A Moment and the Cobras come up behind them, and they’re like “ah shit, guess it’s battle time now”...and instead of going into Battle Mode or something, they decide to use the handshake thing they were doing anyways as leverage. Lowkey Ingenious. No one talks about Hawk and Demetri’s improvising skills, but they’re ON POINT. Like our boys fucking KILLED it and I’m so proud of them!!!

2) Oh shit...if Demetri HAD screamed out Eli’s name after getting his arm broken, that scene would have MURDERED me even more than it already did ;___;  “If you think about it, that scene makes the line "You'd actually hurt me?" even sadder” Bruh yeah, I think about that all the time and it BREAKS me. Like Demetri didn’t even sound scornful or mocking when he asks “You’d actually hurt me?” he just sounds...genuinely confused and heartbroken at the prospect his best friend would EVER lay a finger on him, when they’d spent YEARS basically being each other’s only rock when they endured beatings together, probably. Even when everyone else was picking on and hurting Demetri, at least he had Eli. And now that ELI’S the one hurting him...poor Demetri has probably never felt more alone and abandoned. But yeah, Eli for SURE cried himself to sleep that night. I mean...it’s written ALL over his face afterwards, he’s just like “Oh god, what the FUCK is wrong with me???” Dun best believe Hawk’s never going to stop feeling awful about letting himself get pressured into that. Even though Demetri forgives Hawk, he’ll probably never forgive himself. My poor disaster son and his terrible life choices ;___;

3) OOF OUCH IT HURTS ME BUT I LOVE IT Yes, I can definitely see Demetri having some PTSD-type trauma from the laser tag arm incident! Eli too, although his is a very different kind of trauma. I do think the general arm-break position could be triggering for Demetri, which, as in this little scenario here...Hawk might end up learning the hard way D: Even after everything, it’ll take a lot for Demetri to not be like...instinctually scared of Hawk. Which is sad as all hell :( But if there’s one thing that I think would reassure Dem and pull him out of it would be Hawk emphasizing that he’s still the Eli Dem knows and loves (at least in part, anyways). Demetri just...always needs that reassurance Eli isn’t going anywhere, after Dem lost him entirely to “Hawk” for so long. As long as he’s got his Eli back--at least in part--he can work with whatever else gets thrown his way.

AHAHAHA I DON’T KNOW WHAT I’M DOING WITH MY LIFE EITHER I’M SHITPOSTING ABOUT NERDY GAYS FROM A KARATE SOAP OPERA AT 4 AM

[plasticflowering]

ONEUS Fancall Writeup

In summary: aldjalskdjdkfjkdj I should have thought of more to say, but it was enough just to meet them and they were so kind and amazing, 10/10 group, will stan forever as long as they behave themselves, which I trust they will.

(sorry for potato quality on the gifs. That’s the unfortunate reality of Wi-Fi video calls. I tried my best to at least color them a bit)

FIRST OF ALL, MMT get your queue in order. I got the message that said “your call’s coming up very soon, be on standby” and literally ONE SECOND LATER Skype was ringing, ahhhhhhhhh

The thing with fancalls is that it’s always disorienting to see the member order. Like you can’t prepare for that. You never know which person is next until the phone is passed. 

Also, I got too caught up in past fansigns with asking questions so I just focused on what I wanted to tell each member here, and... well, that was a mistake. I should have indeed prepared some questions. I just feel like everything’s been asked at this point, you know?? More on that later. Anyway I felt like the time limits per member in this call stretched on for AGES, and I was not prepared to fill the space well aaaskdjhaskjdhsa I’m sorry everyone.

🐥LEEDO

First up was Leedo, and tbqh the boy looked checked out, but he was still so wonderful. They’re probably so tired and working so hard, so I felt a little bad. And, honestly, Leedo was the one I had the least to say to because idk I love him but I have kind of a silent respect for him. I’d let Leedo do his own thing and just nod at him in acknowledgement if we ever met irl

I told him that he’d looked really happy lately, and that I hoped he was taking care of himself and doing well. I also told him I hoped he was eating his vegetables (shoutout to @highponyleedo​ - admittedly I panicked 😂).

🐥: I’ll think about that.

I told him that he’s inspiring and that I think about him when I work out (which is true! Gotta get buff like Leedo!) It was a nice little convo, and I was still VERY nervous at this point having been thrust DIRECTLY into the call. In every fansign I’ve been in (four at this point), the first member is always unfortunately sort of a throwaway for my mind because I’m still scrambling 😖

He was beautiful and gracious nonetheless.

🐱RAVN

He has never done anything wrong, ever in his life. 

OKAY SO 

YOUNGJO TRIED TO DO OUR WHOLE CONVO IN ENGLISH??? 

I WAS SO IMPRESSED

HE’S SO WONDERFUL 

🐱: Your hair is green? 

✌🏻: Yes!

🐱: Like my hair for Easily song 

lksdjsalkjdaksdj ❤️

I also gave him a cheesy personal message of encouragement, and in the process I mentioned that I’m so much older than him (I AM) but I find him to be kind of a role model (I DO), and that I hope he gets to be his true self and make art that makes him happy. 

🐱, aka this bitch: Age is not important. 

✌🏻, knowing he has a noona problem: For some things, yes, you’re right!

I also showed him a fanart I drew of him, and immediately he was like “Oh, Procreate?” Yeah, boooiiii. Also he said my art was good but I’m sure he wouldn’t have said anything negative to a fan so... I just wanted him to see it lmao. 

Youngjo spent almost the entire call like this, so there aren’t many great gif opportunities, but I’m glad he got to practice his English with me! How special!

As the phone was passed to the next member, Youngjo calls out: “You are very young!” 

I love he. I’d fight him in a Denny’s parking lot, but I love he. For what purpose, that smile??

🐶XION

My son.

***Hey. Self. Note for the future: next time prepare a little more to say to your Ult.***

Okay, like, Xion looked RADIANT what the hell. See proof below

I gave him a very cheesy personal message about how I’ve watched him grow and improve and it makes me so happy, he makes me so happy with his music and his kindness. Also I mentioned that his makeup skills are always on point and look so, so good. 

🐶, like immediately, proudly: Oh, thank you!!

I’ve lived a long and good life. But now I have expired. I have deceased. My ult smiled at me like this, and I have ascended to the next plane of existence. 

However I’m coming back from the dead to finish this writeup and also to keep shitposting. 

Anyway I would and did die for him. 

BONUS: his reaction when I was like “I swear I thought I had more written out, I was like ‘oh I have so much to say to Xion’ and now here I am just staring at you.”

🐯HWANWOONG

Best! 👏🏻Boy! 👏🏻

(they’re all best boy, but Hwanwoong was just so on. He’s really just so welcoming and kind, ahhhhh)

I told him I’ve really been enjoying the 1theK choreography videos, then I mentioned the Cardi B choreo specifically and did a chef’s kiss motion, and this was his reaction (along with “thank you for watching that!”: 

Then I asked him if there was a song he really wanted make some choreography for, but he hadn’t had the chance yet. 

He thought, and then he swerved me by saying it was a SECRET and I’d have to stay tuned. 👀👀👀👀 You know I will, ya tricky lil’ bean.

Also hey who gave him the right??? To be so cute?? Like, stop. (don’t stop.) 

🐰KEONHEE

 So there’s this thing I’ve noticed with fansigns, where there’s always one member who just knocks the fansign experience out of the park so thoroughly that they steal a piece of my heart I never expected to give. For this fansign, that was Keonhee. 

At this point I was also realizing I didn’t have much prepared to say, and I was just kind of riffing. But I did want to tell him that we had two things in common: we both studied ballet, and we both sang opera. I thanked him for the recent VLive where that was A Whole Thing, and then: 

🐰, in English no less: Can you show me?

I don’t know what I expected. But I did show him. I sang a couple of operatic scales for him because I was like “what the hell, why not? Lee Keonhee’s gonna hear me sing opera. This is what my training was for.”

So that happened even though I was definitely nervous and forgot to open my throat up as much as I should have. It’s been a while, okay?

He also pointed out the LED moon lamp I keep on my side desk, which I’d forgotten to turn on before the call. So luckily Lee Keonhee was there to remind, at 5/6 of the way through my call!

🐿SEOHO

Firstly, I was taken in by the cool retro style jacket, so I mentioned that. 

What’s with this little dance he did when I was gearing up to tell him what I wanted to say? Anyway he’s cute. 

Then, I told him that Dizzy is one of my favorite ONEUS songs, and that he should definitely try to do more songwriting in the future if he wants. 

He agreed. 😂

Then, he sang a little bit of Dizzy for me, but the sound was really not doing me any favors at this point in the call so it came through a little choppy ahhh. 

So there you have it! All in all an amazing experience, would definitely do it again but would definitely prepare more to say/do/ask! I just don’t want to go in like an interviewer, but I also don’t know what else to do when there’s The Language Barrier, even with an interpreter. I’m definitely not in this for the boyfriend wish fulfillment or aegyo (Xion can’t help it), but since there is SO MUCH I could conceivably ask about, I’ve got fodder for future fansigns. 

I hope you enjoyed!!!

[sinkix]

Bakugou Imagines │ With Calm & Indifferent S/O

I thought this dynamic would be hella interesting and fun to write about in a lil piece. I may make it into an entire fic?? Who knows, my ass is literally numb from sitting in one spot through the entirety of typing this - Anyway, enjoy this 2AM shitpost of mine!  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I feel like this GIF would sum up the dynamic perfectly.

Bakugou: Angrily yelling during a porcupine rampage

S/O: Continues sipping their tea and minding their business while riding through their inner turmoil “Do fish get thirsty?” “I wonder what I should have for breakfast tomorrow.” “Do spiders pee? Have I ever sat in spider pee?” “I should really check my mail.”

This initially frustrated Bakugou to no end, he felt as though you were treating him as some insignificant extra. Yet the more he observed you, the more he found himself grossly fascinated by your existence. It seemed as though you were that way with everyone, but why? 

Surely there was more to you than that unreadable persona, right? Did you feel more than you let on? Think more than you spoke?

The more he found himself thinking about you, the more frustrated he became.

Until one day he slammed you against a wall in the hallway, Izuku stumbling upon the scene and debating whether to step in and diffuse the situation, but he was shocked to find that judging by the look on your face, you literally could not give a rats ass about the close proximity with his snarling face inches from yours, staring at him as though he was chatting about the weather.

“Yeah?” You spoke, gazing up at him with typical aloof glaze over your eyes that made him almost short circuit as badly as Denki.

“The hell do you mean YEAH? Why you always looking at me with that damn face, don’t I scare you?”

Bakugou was used to people cowering in fear or becoming prickly with edge from his volatile nature, tip toeing around him in hopes he wouldn’t blow a gasket, so why the hell weren’t they? He was inches from your face and towering over you in the corner of an empty hallway, yet you didn’t even bat an eye. Was he that unintimidating? THAT insignificant to the point you didn’t even register his presence? Was he--

“No, you don’t. Why would you? You have a temper, but you mean well.”

Bakugou stood there stunned, scanning your face for a hint of expression along the deadpan painting your features. 

“Plus, you’re cute, even when you’re in a fit of rage like a toddler.”

Bakugou could have sworn he choked on his own saliva in that moment, cheeks burning ablaze as he tries to register what had come out of your mouth. Hold on... toddler?!

“The HELL DID YOU SAY TO ME?”

“Look Bakugou I gotta go, I have assignments to do. Join me if you want, I’ll be in the library. You usually study alone, right?”

He tsk’s and kicks his feet idly against the ground, just how much attention did you pay toward him? The thought of it left a disgustingly giddy feeling in his chest that he attempted to shove into the sand.

“...fine.” He mutters, sauntering alongside like a petulant child, unable to get the word out of his brain.

...Cute. She thinks I’m cute.

2 months pass by and you notice Bakugou becoming increasingly more docile in your presence, what was once a heated and one sided clash, arose a peaceful atmosphere in it’s place. Where normally he’d be in a fit of rage, Bakugou was acting far more tamed, dare I say rational, and unusually quiet whenever he was around you.

The other 1-A classmates suspected it has something to do with you, also becoming aware at how he seems to hover around you after class until you were ready to walk back to the dorms together, hell he even started to mumble a “Good morning” In the dormitory kitchen to you.

You didn’t mind Bakugou’s company, you enjoyed it even.  And the feeling seemed to be mutual.

It was as though you balanced one another out. Bakugou encouraged you to be more passionate and fiery with your opinions and feelings, which everyone began to pick up on at your recent abnormally out-spoken nature. 

And you encouraged Bakugou to reign in his temper, seeing things from a point of view that he wouldn’t even normally give a second glance to, teaching him to think before he makes decisions and the consequences of such.

One thing that you both had in common was your blunt honesty and disdain for sugar-coating, it meant that while Bakugou is normally a pain in the ass to talk to, let alone understand emotionally, you did with relative ease. You didn’t see the point in lying about how you felt toward something or someone, and this effect benefited you two greatly.

Bakugou gradually became more accepting of his feelings, thanks to you.

After around 5 months of this dynamic gradually bringing out the best in each other, Bakugou finally decided to acknowledge the one feeling he couldn’t seem to accept.

It happened when you were in the common room chatting to Todoroki, and Bakugou just happened to pass by after his training session toward the showers. He paused for a moment, observing you and smiling idly to himself like an idiot. 

However, something didn’t sit quite right.

No, not right at all.

Todoroki was WAY too close for comfort. 

It made Bakugou seethe with rage, reeling it in at the reminder of you and your example. 

Gritting his teeth, he observed your interaction with you two being none the wiser. 

What Bakugou didn’t expect was for Todoroki to lean forward, hand extended as though he was about to cup your cheek.

That was it.

Bakugou marched over and barked at the pair of you, demanding what it was all about.

Secretly he had always felt jealous of you and Todoroki. While you spent most of your time in his company, he had always felt that maybe Todoroki was better company for you instead, since his personality was much similar to yours in comparison. As if he felt inferior.

Whipping your head around to face him, he noticed the specks of chocolate cake dusting the outskirts of your lips haphazardly, lowering his eyes down to the now cleaned plate. Looking up and glaring daggers at Todoroki, he also clocks the napkin folded neatly into his hand. The gears turning in his head finally clicking as he looks well and truly embarrassed for misreading the situation. Tutting to himself and wordlessly stomping toward his room.

10 minutes pass of him slumped onto the crumpled bed covers feeling like a total fool. A single question running rampant in his mind that he simply can’t ignore.

Why did he react that way back there? Surely it’s none of his business, right?

Bakugou dwells, then dwells some more. Until once again, the dots finally connect.

He wasn’t in love with you, was he?

Surely not.

There was no way-

Knock knock.

He hauls himself up and grumbles, moping toward the door and swinging it open.

The sight nearly sends his knees buckling then and there.

You were stood, wide-eyed and flooding full of concern, head cocked to the side in a manner of question. Only Bakugou saw this level of expression from you, and it made him feel special. You were his.

Wait what.

“Are you okay?” Your voice was even, but you couldn’t help faltering at the end.

“Yeah.” Bakugou rubbed the back of his head in annoyance.

“...Well, No. But that doesn’t matter dumbass.”

“It matters to me.” You stand your ground, folding your arms in protest and narrowing your eyes in a refusal to break contact. 

So damn stubborn. He thought, grinning internally.

“Fine, come in.” He mutters, extending his arm out toward his room as you nonchalantly walk inside.

“I was going to anyway.” You state, Bakugou scoffing at your ‘matter of fact’ tone, it was something he couldn’t get enough of.

Stop.

You plop yourself down on the edge of his bed in a lackadaisical fashion, patting the seat beside you, coaxing him to sit.

He complies, parking himself beside you but finds his body beginning to sweat from the minuscule proximity between you two.

Since when the hell was he ever bothered by that?

Keep it together, Katsuki.

It felt as though the entire world as he knew it was crumbling beneath his feet. 

But little did he know, you felt the exact same way, thoroughly shaken with the level of anxiety and anticipation that flooded your body at the realisation your shoulders were brushing.

Since when did he have this effect on you?

“So, mind telling me what that was about?” Surprisingly, you were able to retain a level of composure, though Bakugou now looked well and truly distraught, not that he would admit it, not over his dead body.

Bakugou stayed silent for a moment, before shifting himself to meet your gaze, something shining in his eyes that you couldn’t quite pinpoint, his body language suggested he was fighting some serious conflict right now. About what? You didn’t know.

You stared at each other once again, either of you in total refusal to look the other way. The air was hot, thick, and dense - it sent the nerves in your body standing on alert, but not for the reason it should.

What you didn’t expect was for him to press his palm against the comforter, leaning forward with that same glint of battle in his eyes.

“You know I’m not good with words, right?”

“You’ve improved a lot Bakug--”

“Katsuki.”

“What?” You stare at him dumbfounded, as though he had sprouted horns and learned to fly, which wouldn’t be far fetched in this society in all honesty. 

“I said call me Katsuki.” He huffed, biting the inner corner of his mouth in an act of unknown self restraint. No one called him Katsuki except his parents.

“...Katsuki.” The name rolled off your tongue like music to his ears, and it was in that moment Katsuki knew he couldn’t control himself anymore.

Using his extended palm to push you down on to the bed, your lips connect before you could even utter a yelp, his hand snaking round to the back of your head in offer of gentle support. Despite the aggression in his kiss and expressions he wore moments earlier, his touch was surprisingly gentle.

He parts away before you can even register the current events sprung on you seconds earlier, a small string of saliva connecting the two of you as proof that you did in fact just kiss.

Your heart flutters and thuds rapidly against your rib cage, cheeks flushed and mind whirring with questions. But before you can get a single one out he speaks again.

“I’m gonna take a leaf from your book this time.” Bakugou states, his tone now firm and serious

“I love you, so fucking much that it hurt me to see you so close to him. Your mine-- I mean I want you to be mine. I know we aren’t even technically friends yet but--

Before he can finish you cut him off with an equally impassioned kiss, threading your fingers through his spiked and dishevelled locks, earning a low grunt of approval, pulling away as reluctantly as he had.

“I love you too Katsuki... I- uh... I want you to be mine too.”

“Wow, now look who’s the one finding it hard to communicate.”

“Shut up you dork.” Punching his arm playfully, he bears the shit-eating grin you’d grown accustomed to loving, pulling him in for another kiss as if it would be your last, intending to prolong this moment as long as possible. “You really are cute.”

Who knew such opposites would attract?

[inspector2ndclass]

The Mechanisms as Random Birds I Found on the Internet

Did anyone want this? No. Do I know anything about birds? Also no. Anyways, here’s a shitpost I spent way too long on.

Jonny d’Ville: Northern Mockingbird

First and foremost, here’s Jonny! An asshole! A bastard! An all around terrible person! He shall be a northern mockingbird. This fucking bird has no redeemable qualities other than that it is pretty and a GREAT singer. This is a very aggressive bird. Very territorial. If it had opposable thumbs, it would probably shoot you in like the foot or something. I don’t think these birds are very smart. Just like a certain “captain” that we know. The state bird of Texas, among all places. Never trust a texas. In true Texas fashion, the 1927 legislation declaring the Northern Mockingbird the state’s official bird stated that the species is “a fighter for the protection of his home, falling, if need be, in its defence, like any true texan.” Now Jonny burned down a Texas - maybe not this Texas but whatever. I read somewhere that a mockingbird could peck someone’s dick off, and honestly? Valid.

Gunpowder Tim: Southern Cassowary

Okay, hear me out. This bird is a little bitch - or rather a b i g bitch. In a good way. Look at this fucking bird. It’s majestic. Doesn’t it look just SO trustworthy. What a trustworthy man. And very pretty. Pretty, pretty bird. Who could squash you like a fucking ant. This is one Violent bird. Tim is one Violent person. The cassowary makes a low roaring sound like a fucking dinosaur. I love dinosaurs. DID I MENTION IT LAYS GREEN EGGS. Now you might say, well Tim is a human and humans don’t lay green eggs. Fuck you. It’s never explicitly stated that our very own Gunpowder Tim doesn’t lay green eggs. Also comes with a built-in helmet. As everyone except Tim and the southern cassowary says, safety first! Strikes me as a very egotistical bird. If the cassowary weren’t a bird, I don’t think it would wear a seatbelt.

Ashes O’Reilly: California Condor

Okay, so. This is a cool fucking bird. Just look at it. M a j e s t i c. Do you know who else is really fucking cool? Ashes. They have so much power. Also condors are beautiful birds. Oh my god. California condors are very graceful fliers. For Ashes, I almost went with the brown falcon - one of “Nature’s arsonists”, but other than arson, it’s a rather boring bird. Just brown. And a falcon. BUT THE CALIFORNIA CONDOR. Now that’s a cool bird. The god of the sky. Actually, in the “research” for this post I found a blog post in 2011 from someone who has genuinely worshipped condors as gods since they were a teenager and honestly? Valid. (disclaimer; I am aware that many native cultures worship animals and nature, however I don’t feel qualified to talk about that. I don’t mean any harm by this post.)

DrumBot Brian: Shoebill Stork

Well. I did have a rather difficult time finding a bird that has a complex set of moral values. Who would’ve thought?? I did almost use a praying mantis, just for a little variety. I’ve never met someone who wouldn’t rip off the head of their lover. BUT ANYWAYS. Here we have Brian the Shoebill Stork. He looks so nice. But he will not hesitate to decapitate your baby crocodile. Also very patient!! Like a dinosaur! This bird has the most complex set of moral values of any bird I could find in about thirty seconds. If Brian didn’t decapitate so many young crocodiles there would be much too many! Too many crocodiles! The horror! I’ve also seen a gif of Boring Brian delicately picking up a duckling and placing it back down. Dunno what happened after, though. Don’t ask. Apparently the shoebill stork makes “machine-gun noises” which I think Jonny would enjoy fucking around with. A place that I forgot to write down reportedly called the bird “Abu-Markhub” meaning “father of the slipper” which,,,, yeah.

Raphaella la Cognizi: Kea

Also known as the “clown of the alps”, the Kea resides in the mountains, as the only alpine parrot. Pretty cool. I want to be a clown. But like, a cool clown - not one that hides in a sewer and eats children… Anyways, I’m getting off topic. The kea is the smartest bird I could find. Raphaella is the science officer of the Aurora so it seemed fitting. Look at this photo. That’s science at work! Kea can use basic tools! And reportedly have the intelligence of a four-year-old child! That’s pretty smart! Also it has wings! Raph has wings! Apparently kea enjoy attacking sheep, dogs, horses, etc. and just generally fuck around with people. Imagine what this bird could do with opposable thumbs…

Marius von Raum: Victoria Crowned Pigeon

My criteria for Bird Marius was essentially a stupid looking bird with a ridiculously long name. I was originally going to go with the King of Saxony Bird of Paradise solely for the name (just look at it! It’s so dumb! Who the fuck is the king of saxony!) however it bored me. So! Here we have Doctor Baron Marius von Raum as the Victoria Crowned Pigeon (also sometimes referred to as the Blue Crowned Pigeon). Genuinely, this was my favourite bird as a child. I fucking love this funky little bastard. Apparently, it’s the largest pigeon species in the world and can grow to be the size of a turkey. A turkey! What the fuck! This bird thinks it’s all that. (I mean, it’s not wrong). It was named after Queen Victoria but like,,,,, Fuck The Monarchy. Also eats a lot of figs. The bird - not the queen. Or maybe the queen I dunno. Marius seems like the kind of person who hates figs but eats them anyways so he doesn’t feel inferior to the Fig Lord. How the fuck is this bird not extinct yet.

Ivy Alexandria: Common Raven

Ivy Alexandria, the Common Raven. Ravens are extremely smart! Like seriously - near where I live, there’s an animal shelter with a raven and you can hold a conversation with it. It’s amazing! They also have great memories and hold grudges - so don’t mess with them. Oh! They can also use hand gestures, which for birds is insanely cool! They are the literal “birdbrain”. Sometimes they collect little trinkets, which I think is really sweet. Now, I don’t believe ravens can read but like,,,,, I dunno. I read an article recently about ravens doing “weird things with ants”. Apparently they like to play with them. Ravens have been known to sit in an anthill and let ants crawl all over their feathers for no apparent reason. Now, while nothing has been canonically stated involving Ivy and ants, you can’t prove Ivy doesn’t go sit and hang out with a bunch of ants.

Nastya Rasputina: Andean Potoo

The Andean Potoo is the most mysterious breed of the seven or so potoo species; almost nothing is known other than their vague appearance and their stomach contents (large insects like beetles and grasshoppers, if you were interested). While we do know quite a bit about Nastya, I thought this bird fit her pretty well. In answer to the question “Are potoos friendly?” a website said: “The short answer is ‘no’. The slightly longer answer is ‘it depends’.” This sounds like Nastya and her lesbian spaceship girlfriend. Potoos are VERY good at camouflage; like Nastya in Aurora’s veins?? I dunno, might be a bit of a stretch. They are shy, secretive birds. Sounds fun. Potoos are also VERY good at catching insects and shit. This point might not be relevant, but whatever. Andean potoos might mate for life; scientists don’t know. Let’s say that they do. If Nastya were this bird, she could be eaten by a weasel. Weasels said fuck Nastya rights. Fuck weasels.

The Toy Soldier: Atlantic Puffin

OH MY GOD. I love the Toy Soldier. The Atlantic Puffin. I don’t have many reasons for this one other that IT’S ADORABLE. This is my favourite bird. Just look at it!!! Hnnnnnnn. Baby puffins are called pufflingssssss. Oh my god. Also look up the bird call of the atlantic puffin; it is the best thing ever. Puffins are very sociable birds and live in like giant flocks or something. They’re very neat birds and also waterproof! Like wood! They shed the outer layer of their beaks once a year! Like wood! They live in burrows! Like wood! They can hold a fuck ton of fish in their beaks! Like wood! They have a really fucking wierd tongue! Like wood!

BONUS: Dr. Carmilla: Lammergier (Bearded Vulture)

Do I know anything about Dr. Carmilla? Nope! I think she’s a vampire but like???? Anyways, just look at this bird. It’s pretty self-explanatory. The Lammergeier is one Badass Bird. It is one of the largest old-world vultures. I don’t know what that means. It can grow up to four feet tall, though! And has a wingspan between seven and nine feet. That’s a big fucking bird! They have no natural predators, much like a certain immortal vampire (maybe???). It eats primarily bone and bone marrow and has a nasty habit of carrying off lambs, calves, and dead children. Remind you of the Good Doctor and her Band? Probably not. I bet Jonny has eaten at least one dead child, though. The lammergeier can also live up to the ripe old age of 45 (old in bird years?). Supposedly a lammergeier killed the greek playwright Aeschelus by mistaking his large bald head for a rock and dropping a turtle on it. Sounds very Carmilla. BUT WAIT I HAVEN’T GOTTEN TO THE BEST PART. This bird dies it’s fur the colour of blood to look more intimidating! Supposedly this is a mark of status, as well. That’s one badass bird!!!

WELL THAT WAS AN ADVENTURE. A useless adventure, sure. Fuck you. I had fun.

[missbecky]

Guess who’s back, back again

(Be advised of CW further down the post)

So, yeah, haven’t been sharing in a long ass time. I just have felt the need to practice on my own and just kind of keep it to myself for a while. That’s one explanation, anyway. Another, possibly more accurate one, is that i am still practicing but the spells and the readings have been pretty vanilla. Nothing fun or exciting to share.

So, Becky, what’s changed? Why share now? I’m glad you asked! So I was scrolling through my favorite witchy shitposting group when someone mentioned a haunted reading. I’m like wtf is a haunted reading? And like every other time i stumble across something i don’t know, i go straight to Google and search it up. Still don’t know what a haunted reading is, but whatever, it was more of a side note for how i got to my reading. Anyway, the first thing i click on was the haunted tarot spread. And let me tell you, things got spooky, and definitely not in a fun way. But like a necessary way.

Ok here’s the spread i found:

So i figure this sounds fun, I’m still dealing with my anxiety and depression and maybe giving names to the shit bogging me down could help? I figured it would go much like all my readings have been doing lately, asking questions i already know the answers to, getting the answers i already expected. Yeah, no, didn’t go like that at all.

So i used my literary witches Oracle deck because it was my haunted reading and this deck seems spooky to me. Honestly, the deck is really hit or miss, so I had next to no expectations. However, the reading kind of freaked me out because the answers were all true, and not one of them had i thought of.

So what follows me and how to leave it behind are the top left 2 cards. Tbh i had to think about it because i couldn’t make the connection. At first I thought the flowers represented youth/spring something along those lines but it didn’t fit. So i moved on to the the skull, which seemed pretty obvious, let it die. Then i realized the flowers were for a grave, my grandma’s death, over 8 years later, still is a heavy one. How to leave it behind, stop trying to resurrect her in everything i do, let her Rest In Peace.

Ok, 3 & 4 what troubles me and how to resolve it? This one came quick, growing old troubles me, how to resolve it? Slow down. Easy, thanks!

5&6 what keeps me up at night, and how to rest easy. So to me this is calling out my late night thoughts, as frogs are most vocal at night, so too are my thoughts loudest as I’m lying in bed. And the teacup made me laugh as i have been using tea to relax my mind enough for bed at night.

7&8 this one actually freaked me out. Like legit gave me goosebumps and scared the shit out of me. Honestly, it’s not a topic i even allow myself to think about. What frightened me, love, that’s totally and completely true. How to face it is the doll, it’s calling me out to finally figure out a way to come to terms with whatever happened to me as a kid.

CW: child abuse, loss of memories

So I can’t remember anything prior to the age of 11, but it’s spotty until maybe my freshman year of high school. Obviously something happened to me to make me repress that many memories. Part of me has always wondered if i was abused as a child. To see those cards together gave a voice to something i have spent a lot of time burying very deep.

Maybe it is time to try to figure it all out. I had this nightmare once that still hurts to think about. My daughter and i are at a mall or something, it’s the holidays i think, and she’s running around in her pajamas. She finally gets where i can’t find her, and yet i know where she is at the same time. So i frantically begin making my way up to what looks like an attic door, like a half door looking thing in a wall the shape of a roof. Idk but a man comes out of the door, and i feel sick to my stomach because i know my daughter is in there. I open the door and it’s me as a little girl in Christmas jammies and I’m crushed, I’m sickened, I’m devastated, and i start screaming at the man and running at him. I want to kill him but i can’t and i can just scream in anguish.

It was one of the most upsetting dreams I’ve ever had. And maybe the closest I’ll ever get to figuring out what happened to me.

So anyway, it was a super creepy and upsetting tarot card reading that i needed to share because it was way too much to keep to myself. None of the answers were what i was expecting, and yeah, gave me loads to think about.

[amratsu]

alright these girls have haunted me for about a whole month now time to break it all down for anyone vaguely interested in them

hololive/vtuber 101 below the read more

THE FUCK IS HOLOLIVE?: An idol agency except all of its roughly 20 or so girls are youtube streamers who have their identity protected by a live2d avatar. They recently had a very fun live concert and all of them have or will have 3d models, but the majority of content is just them streaming whatever's their fancy at the time. (As of 2/17/2020 a lot of them play a lot of ARK, thank Coco for that) Therefore, they're part of the new form of niche culture called Vtuber.

THE FUCK IS A VTUBER?: Virtual youtubers. Like a normal streamer but, again, live2d portrait instead of their actual face. That's basically it. Content is about as varied as any other youtuber.

ALRIGHT, WHO WE GOT?: Hololive's split into OG Tokino Sora, the girls alongside her who are also primarily 3d, and then 'generations'. Just plug in their names and you'll find their channel easy. Again, variety differs between all the girls, but expect a lot of Nintendo games, chat streams, karaoke, and Minecraft across the board.

-Tokino Sora OG mom slash idol, debuted all the way back in 2017. Probably the only proper idol in all of Hololive. Warm, friendly, relaxing. She mostly does 3d variety streams and song debuts so she's hard to follow without advanced japanese.

-Roboco(-san) Pose happy killer robo with a notably smokey voice and calming demeanor. Plays a large amount of minecraft and first-person games in general; recent streams include ARK, Pokemon Mystery Dungeon remaster, Apex, and Fortnite.

-Sakura Miko ELIIIITE MLG miko idol with a tendency to swear a bit. High energy, fully embraced 'press f', gives herself sunglasses during streams, great friends with Pekora. Also notably into eroge. Did a full playthrough of Papers Please lately and is one of the most addicted to ARK (21 streams at around 4-5 hours each.)

1st Generation -Yozora Mel Sleepy vampire with the occasional killer instinct. Soothing, gentle, kind of lewd. Very much into nintendo games with Smash, Ring Fit, SwoSh, and Mario Kart being her latest content, but she's a little slower with the output. Part of the lewd blonde club with Aki, Haato, and Choco, who were demonetized until recently.

-Aki Rosenthal Cyber elf with detachable twin tails. Pretty similar to Mel in disposition, though less sleepy and more...I want to say 'fantastical'. Recently gained popularity due to her buck naked superhuman beefcake character in ARK, with Kerbal, Go Home, and some ASMR rounding out the rest of her content.

-Natsuiro Matsuri Eternal 17 year old cheerleader from the class next door, Matsuri is a high energy raging lesbian who's also a complete sweetie. Her infamous bandaid clip is what got a lot of western fans into Hololive. Plays a wide variety of games but also twitcasts at random times of the day like when she's in bed or in the bath, just to chat with her viewers about what's on her mind. Well loved.

-Akai Haato The ESL transfer student, girl next door, Haato is, well, exactly that. Commonly traveling for studies, Haato is a bubbly girl with a fine sense for aesthetics; you'll catch her making elaborate builds in Minecraft or playing visual novels during streams, along with a smattering of other games. Notable in that she's the only girl that'll do purely English streams, likely to help with her own education. Also kind of a baka.

2nd Generation -Minato Aqua Disaster masochist maid who's actually stupidly good at video games sometimes. She's both mischievous and hard working, massively popular in China, and, again, stupidly good at games. Soulsborne speedruns, PUBG, ARK (also one of the most addicted), Minecraft (seeing a pattern?), League if you catch her bilibili streams...but she's also the one who will spend a stream calling the other girls and asking them to bully her. Wild card gremlin.

-Murasaki Shion Genius mage who doesn't do a lot with her magic. Pretty well known for her 'neeeeeee', with a distinctly smug avatar/voice. Pretty good at games too, with a variety of Pokemon, retro games, Minecraft, Smash, horror, Mario Kart, etc. Excellent singing voice too, would recommend her covers.

-Yuzuki Choco The totally-not-a-succubus demon nurse at your highschool, Choco embodies :sweating:. Obviously she's lewd, but there's also a silly and petulant side to her that's fun to watch too. ASMR is her specialty. She's also, surprisingly, really into Dead By Daylight, so if that combination sounds fun to you hit her up.

-Oozora Subaru If Haato is the girl next door, Subaru's the bro next door. A very down to earth but energetic and sporty tomgirl, she recently spent three streams and sixteen hours on trying to take down Sans. Other recent things include Live A Live, The Witch's House, and GTA. Refreshingly easy to relate to compared to the other girls sometimes.

-Nakiri Ayame Hello, honored humans~ Hololive's millenium old oni. Has a peculiar way of speaking, especially in her pronouns, which lends a certain charm if you can got on board with it; happy go lucky, easy to like, and really cute on top of all that. Recently recovered from sickness (as of 2/26) so was the last to get on the Ark craze, she's actually very fond of multiplayer games as a way of 'getting to know mortals'. Apex Legends, Mario Kart, Splatoon, etc.

GAMERS: A sort of generation on its own, and also a kind of weird designation when all the girls game so frequently. Oh well!

-Shirakami Fubuki Fox. Not a cat. Super cheerful, makes a lot of weird noises that people turn into youtube poops (that she encourages), and also a helluva gamer. Plays plenty of battle royales, ARK, and of course Nintendo/Minecraft stuff. Infamous for her absolute feral hunter instincts in Project Winter, where she commonly massacres the entire map on her lonesome when she's the traitor.

-Ookami Mio Mom wolf who has to play tsukkomi (straightman) to basically all of Hololive sometimes. Which makes it all the more hilarious during her semi-common charisma breaks, like during Haato's recent English Exam stream. Has been into EDF, Pokemon, Ghost Trick, and Splatoon lately.

-Nekomata Okayu The sleepy smug cat with the most chill personality. Notably very, VERY close with Korone, and in general kind of a playboy in general. Never denies it or any of her myriad transgressions though. Her Mother 2 run has been fun recently, but really you could just tune into her frequent chat streams and relax that way.

-Inugami Korone Dog. An oddball who kind of just goes at her own pace, playing all sorts of weird games like Nyanpo (the pokemon prototype) and weird PS1 retro games. Shows a disturbingly violent side sometimes; her ongoing Blasphemous run and recent RE4 runs have shown how much she's into that kind of stuff. But also she's still a dog, so really don't worry.

Inonaka Music: -AZKi AZKi is closely associated with Hololive but is really more of her own thing, being even more idol than Sora is. Doesn't stream much if at all, has her own album out, does music collabs more than anything else, etc. Helluva singer though.

-Hoshimachi Suisei The vtuber idol who's totally not a psychopath, and totally a goddess at tetris. Like Fubuki, made a name for herself with her psychotic rampages in Project Winter, and also very much unfazed by horror games. Really fucking good at tetris too, doing 98v1 streams lately in Tetris 99, and a godly songstress too. Her karaoke streams are to die for.

3rd Generation: Also known as Hololive Fantasy. These girls are particularly close to each other. If you can find translated clips, I definitely recommend their host club streams where they compete in seducing other Vtubers. (Yes. That's serious)

-Usada Pekora AH^HA^HA^. You'd think she was a cute rabbit, but no! It's a Tewi level shitposter combined with some legit video game skills. She likes playing the heel deliberately just for shits and giggles, like when she nearly walked off with Miko's Nether Star. She's in fact very close to Miko, their relationship being both great friends and great rivals. Definitely one of the most addicted to ARK too; she's been making headway in conquering the ocean.

-Shiranui Flare Handsome half-elf archer, Flare's the designated tsukkomi of the third generation. She's definitely the most down to earth of them, charismatic to boot, and does as she pleases with a relaxed personality and husky, smokey voice. Very very VERY close to Noel. You'll find some really fun playthroughs of various action games like Dark Souls, Bayonetta, and Sekiro on her channel, and thanks to her picking up game mechanics fast they're fun to watch for anyone.

-Shirogane Noel Knight Captain of the Shirogane Knights, Noel's...kind of an airhead, actually. But she's definitely a pleasant, softspoken sort of person who's incredibly relaxing to listen to. Also a big eater, you'll hear her talk about beef bowls and muscles a lot. Just try not to stare too much at her 'pectorals.' As mentioned, VERY close to Flare (they just had a two day long date to a ryokan). Plays whatever with no focus in particular.

-Uruha Rushia The cute, soft, innocent apprentice necromancer, Rushia occasionally comes out of the gates roaring with rage filled screams before chilling out. An absolute cutie though, who loves her fans very much (though really every Hololive member does), her attempts to be cool and reliable lend to some great comedy. She's got a great singing voice if you can find one of her bilibili streams, and otherwise plays a wide variety of things.

-Houshou Marine A~hoy~. The completely safe for work, modern, not-cosplay eternal 17 pirate...and everything I just said was a lie. Most of it anyways. Marine's a riot of a lady with an incredibly dirty mind and dirtier motor mouth, great voice acting ability, and knack for art that she'll happily show off (among other things). Definitely one of my favorites, you'll find plenty of chat and art content on her channel, along with some of the most Ark addiction and a full array of Touhou game playthroughs.

4th Generation: Hololive's newest five girls, it's been a month and change since they debuted. They're notable for working together on some of the most wild content Hololive's put out so far, all helmed by a certain dragon. But we'll get to that.

-Tokoyami Towa The little devil that does whatever she wants, Towa's known for a couple of other things at this point: refreshingly honest personality, Pokemon playthroughs with an eclectic choice in team comp, and her charmingly atypical tomboy voice (though her mic's not amazing). Great singer, super funny if you can find the rare translated clip of her, and was an absolute menace at the recent Hololive werewolf/mafia game. How she managed to fake being a Seer from day one and nearly win, I'll never know.

-Tsunomaki Watame Hololive's bouncy sheep. Ram? Something like that. A very girly, friendly, lightly ara-ara personality, she's an honest and open with her feelings sort of girl. Earnest laughter at chat and games, real emotional tears while watching the live concert with her generation mates, Watame's a total sweetheart who streams a bit of music everyday as the pre-show to Coco's Morning Shitposts (official name). She's also gotten very close to her senpais in some regards...but above all she likes singing, chilling out in Minecraft, and recently playing through a couple Kirby games.

-Himemori Luna If you want to see a completely innocent cinnamon roll looking character say things like 'ass' and 'don't f*cking take crystal m*th', Luna's your gal. Her high pitched, almost childlike voice takes a bit of getting used to but she's a sweetheart that just has fun no matter what she's doing. But she'll also say a bunch of really funny shit while doing it just from sheer juxtaposition of her voice/appearance and the vocabulary. Surprisingly good at video games too.

-Amane Kanata PP Tenshi. Perfect Pitch, Powerpoint...Kanata's a bit of a sheltered honor student sort of girl who has an incredible vocal range, so much you'd be forgiven for thinking she was a professional voice actor or singer. She loves playing along with jokes even if she doesn't get them some times, and is really close with Coco. If not for said dragon she'd be the biggest memelord in the 4th generation, but alas; her channel has lots of collabs with fellow members and a series of cute 'research' videos on the various generations of Hololive. Unfortunately untranslated though.

-Kiryuu Coco The one, the only, the President of Nishinari herself, Coco has been a force of nature since she debuted. Her vulgar sense of humor, rapid fire jokester nature, fluent English speaking, and complete conversion of Hololive to the wonders of dinosaur taming in Ark has made her one of the most subscribed girls in a matter of weeks. Every day at 6am JST or 1pm PST, she does a quick 20 minute gig called Coco News (officially translated as Coco's Morning Shitpost) where she reports on the various ongoings in Hololive. This ingeniously brings attention to the silly crap everyone's been up to, really fostering a sense of community between the girls you don't see elsewhere, while also being a riot to watch as she roasts everyone for their silliness (with full permission). Other notable memes include her stalwart boycotting of Nintendo Switches, her desire to fund a Hololive house, and her recent Hitman 2 run.