#i spent too long on this chapter idk if i like it anymore just take it

[thevegandarkelf]

Finding Myself, Finding You: Chapter Thirty-Six: Epilogue

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Thank you to everyone who has come along on Lydia's journey with me. Looking back on all the late nights and hours upon hours I poured into this makes me emotional. Thank you for every single note. They all mean the world to me. The fact that people were interested enough in my work to interact with it is still mind-blowing to me. Writing this healed something in me, and I hope, if you needed it, that it healed something in you too. Just because this story is over doesn't mean I'm done writing with these two. I have more planned for them.

I’ve had several people tell me they cried after reading this so maybe have a box of tissues nearby idk.

Story is 18+ for mature content/themes, minors do not interact please

TW/CWs for this story--implied/referenced past rape, canonical violence, non-canonical violence, blood, gore, referenced past suicide, swearing, surgery, excessive drinking, nightmares, panic attacks, mention of scars, vomiting, amputation, medical procedures, non-con medical procedures, referenced past medical torture, referenced past drugging, attempted sexual assault, panic attacks, mental health struggles, referenced sibling death, referenced parent death, PTSD

Each chapter will have its own TW/CWs listed

This story, Lydia Vector, her family & bestie (c) me, TheVeganDarkElf

TWD & its characters (c) AMC & Robert Kirkman, the writer of the comic series

Legolas & Lord of the Rings (c) J.R.R. Tolkien, Sleeping Beauty (c) Disney

TW/CWs for this chapter--swearing, mention of nightmares, mention of past rape, mentions of major character death (Glenn, Eric, Carl), mention of panic attacks, vomiting, there’s a dead body and a decapitated head in this one, mention of: scars, grief, blood, gun violence, maybe a little gore

Word count: 10k

Life in Alexandria was going pretty smoothly. We'd become friendly with some of the surrounding communities—Hilltop and the Kingdom, primarily—and our own community continued to grow stronger. Our food supply was steady, weapons were on hand, and more people had joined us. We were successfully preparing for the coming winter months, where getting food from the garden wouldn't be possible. I made new friends and became closer with the ones I had before. And I had the most handsome man on the planet all to myself.

Eventually, I had my first nightmare-free night of sleep.

I woke up the following morning feeling more rested than I had in a long time. I rolled over to see that Daryl was already awake, and he immediately told me I'd slept through the night without stirring even once. It came out almost like word vomit, like it was an exciting secret that he couldn't hold in anymore. He scooped me up in his arms and held me tight, telling me over and over again how damn proud of me he was. I cried a lot of happy tears.

Mine and Daryl's relationship continued to blossom. We spent a lot of time together, practically joined at the hip, as Aaron had put it. Wherever one of us was, you could typically find the other close by. It was a dream to come home to him each night and cozy up before falling asleep. I woke up every morning somehow more in love with him than I was the day before. I'd even written hypothetical wedding vows. I hoped to be able to read them one day, whether that was at the end of an aisle in front of our friends and family or across from each other alone at the kitchen island. And I learned that all of those Rick-ordered runs we went on back before officially getting together were orchestrated by Daryl, hence why I never heard about them from the mouth of our fearless cowboy leader. He had gone to Rick shortly after I arrived and asked if he could take me on a couple of runs under the guise of "she's a doctor, she knows what medical supplies to look for." And it snowballed from there.

I still worried about him every time he went out on the road for more than a day, maybe even more so now, but I knew he'd always come back. Daryl was tough, and the life he'd lived prior to the apocalypse had prepared him for it. If anyone was going to be the last man standing, it was him.

Our relationship wasn't perfect, of course. No one's was. We had our arguments, just like any other couple, but we prioritized never going to bed angry and staying up as late as we needed to to work it out. Sometimes we'd need space, but we'd always come together after and talk through things.

That took some getting used to for Daryl. Given the environment he grew up in, where people got in each other's faces and screamed until their throats were raw, I understood that he was used to handling conflict very differently than I was. It took a lot of practice and a lot of patience on my part, but over time, we cultivated an open line of communication, and it was a beautiful thing. It allowed us to become closer and get to know each other even better.

One aspect of becoming closer was continuing to learn new things about each other. The most surprising thing I learned about Daryl was that he was a virgin.

Part of my healing journey was getting comfortable discussing sex again. I was talking about my history before the world fell, sharing past experiences and being candid about how many partners I'd had, some of the things I was into, etc. When I asked Daryl about his, he danced around the question, dodging it every time I tried to circle back. Someone as gorgeous as he was had to have been very sexually experienced, I thought, so I didn't understand why he wouldn't even just share how many partners he'd had. Eventually, he came clean, saying he was worried I might think he wouldn't be able to satisfy me if I knew how inexperienced he was. Not only was he a virgin, but it had been quite a long time since he kissed someone before me.

"So when you said it'd been a while since you kissed someone..."

"Had a first kiss when I's a kid, if ya could even call it that. Was worried what ya might think if I told ya earlier."

Like any of that would change how I felt about him.

After lots of time working through my shit, a lot of talking, and a lot of tears, I was able to...give him what I never thought I could.

It was a long, slow process, and there were times when I didn't think I would get there. I beat myself up a lot, especially if we started and had to stop. I wanted so badly to experience him in that way, but my body and mind wouldn't allow it. I felt like a broken toy that would never work again, and I hated myself for robbing him of that level of intimacy and pleasure. Regardless of how frustrated I was with myself about it, Daryl was nothing but a saint. He never made a big deal out of it, never made me feel anything less than safe and cared for. He told me again and again not to push myself "just so's he could get his rocks off." Anything I needed, he was on it, never putting up a fight or making me think, even for a second, that I was burdensome in any way. He didn't care about having to wait or stop. All that mattered to him was that I was alright. His support was one of the main reasons I was able to make it through my healing journey in the first place.

Daryl even developed a plan for when I would get triggered. If I needed to stop mid-act, he'd ask if I wanted to climb under the covers or get dressed first, then ask if I wanted to cuddle or take a minute alone. If I wanted to get dressed first, he'd step out and give me space to do so. If I wanted to cuddle, he'd climb into bed with me and wrap us up in the covers, pulling me as close to him as physically possible. He'd either rub my back or massage my scalp, all the while reminding me that I was safe, he was there, and there was nothing to be afraid of. Since I found his voice so comforting, sometimes he'd tell me a story or bring up one of his favorite memories with me, anything to keep himself talking. If I was so overwhelmed that I wasn't sure what I wanted, he'd get me my blanket and some water, leave for a couple of minutes, then come back and check in with me again. He hadn't needed to step out and come back more than once a session, but I knew he would do it as many times as I needed.

It was a journey for him too. Everything we tried was a first for him, and I got to teach him how to do it all. And he learned quickly. One of the perks of teaching him was not having to work against some silly notions planted in his head by other men who thought they knew what women liked. Learn what women like from a woman, what a novel concept. It was beautiful to bond with him like that, to get to learn each other's bodies in the most intimate way and experience each other at our most vulnerable.

The first time we made it all the way through, I cried afterward. Not because I was triggered or anything bad happened, but because I was so proud of myself and, truthfully, just how amazing it was. Poor Daryl thought he'd done something wrong, only reassured once I was giggling and kissing him all over his face.

Unfortunately, life wasn't all sunshine and rainbows forever.

When the Saviors came, we lost a lot of good people...including Glenn. Maggie's cries haunted my dreams for weeks after, her screams permeating my most peaceful moments. My heart ached for her. I couldn't even begin to fathom the pain she was experiencing.

As we all waited with bated breath in those dark, eerie woods, the man called Negan snapped at one of the men on the sidelines, gesturing for him to hand something to him. The man stepped away and came back, handing something off to Negan. Negan held the thing up, asking "which one of us creatives was responsible for this little art piece." Upon seeing what he was holding, I involuntarily began vomiting, doubling over and spitting out chunks, some of it catching in my hair.

It was a head. Adam's head, with the vibrator still in his eye socket and his flesh so decayed, his jaw was almost falling off. Turns out Adam had been a Savior.

Negan took my reaction as confirmation that I was the responsible party, a sick smirk stretching across his lips as he snapped at another few men to bring out something else. "You do this too?" he asked as two men brought out Adam's body, the sleeves of his shirt and the majority of his pants cut off to expose his surgical scars. I continued to vomit, absolutely humiliated, both from having to see Adam's body again and from everyone having to see the word ‘rapist’ carved into his forehead and knowing I was the one that put it there.

He approached me, lifting my chin with the cap of his bat to look him in the eyes. He was...impressed. Really impressed. He saw what I could do, and he wanted me to join them. I would never join him, and despite him asking me to, I think he knew that. I was lucky my face didn't become closely acquainted with Lucille.

After Daryl punched Negan in the face and Glenn was killed, he was taken and thrown into their van. I screamed as I watched him get pulled away, falling forward as my body gave out and landing in my own vomit. My chest was on fire, and my eyes were so clouded with tears that everything in front of me was a blur. Had my body not felt gelatinous, I would've leaped off the ground and punched Negan myself.

"Thanks for getting rid of this one," Negan said, tossing the head behind him blindly somewhere in the dark.

After Daryl was abducted, I was a complete wreck, hardly able to eat or sleep, terrified that I would never see him again. I slept on the couch, as looking at the empty space in our bed next to me was too much to bear. Maggie and I spent a lot of time together, leaning on each other for support during our time of grief. There was one afternoon when I cracked a joke, not thinking I would get any type of reaction, but it pulled a small smile from her, and that warmed my heart to see.

When Daryl and I were reunited, we clung to each other and cried, afraid that if we let go, the other would slip away again. That was the first time I'd ever seen Daryl cry. It broke me to see him crumble like that, knowing how much pain he was in. I wanted Negan to pay, not only for the trauma he and his men had inflicted on my little Georgia peach, but for ripping my friend from this world in such a violent manner, and in front of his wife no less. I wanted Negan to suffer.

The Scavengers were a force to be reckoned with. Rick convinced their leader, Jadis, to ally with us to fight the Saviors, but they eventually went behind our backs and ratted us out to Negan and his men. We allied with the nearby communities, Oceanside being the most recent addition, and even some former Saviors, to form The Militia, joining forces with only one thing in mind—destroy the Saviors.

There was an all-out war, and with war comes blood. Lots of blood. Lots of lives lost, lots of damage done. Alexandria would have to be rebuilt, but our people were strong and I knew, ultimately, we would be ok.

Eric's death shattered Aaron. He'd caught a bullet and eventually succumbed to his injury. and poor Aaron had to come across him as a walker. I knew that pain all too well, and I tried my best to be there for him as much as I could. My friends were being taken out one-by-one. It wasn't fair.

Carl's death was another moment that tore everyone to shreds. He'd hidden his bite until he couldn't hide it anymore, and knowing that another precious, kind soul was taken from us was heartbreaking, though heartbreaking didn't seem like a strong enough word. Carl had written letters to some people before his death, and I was one of the lucky individuals who received one. He thanked me for everything I'd done, all the time I spent answering his questions, and for caring for his sister and making sure she was healthy. I added the letter to the collection at the back of my notebook, and Daryl held me while I cried hysterically all night.

Being a trauma surgeon, I'd treated many of the types of injuries people were dealing with. I beat myself up whenever we lost someone in a way that I could've prevented. Daryl always assured me it wasn't my fault, telling me not to blame myself for not being able to save everyone. I was only one person, I couldn't do it all.

And then, there was Rick's disappearance.

The silence that followed the bridge explosion was almost more deafening than the explosion itself. Michonne's screams and everyone's crying still haunt me, and it makes me emotional if I think about it for too long. We explored the area around the bridge, expecting to find his body, whether whole or in pieces, or maybe some of his belongings, but we didn't find anything. There was no sign that he had been there. I don't know how he could've made it out of there alive, but that was the only explanation.

After he went missing, Daryl made it his mission to find him. He tried to convince me to stay behind, wanting me to be safe by staying within the walls, but I wasn't going to let him look for his best friend by himself. Plus, Rick had become like a father figure to me. If he was out there, I wanted to help find him.

Six years. A total of six years we spent looking for him and found...nothing. The one thing we did find was Dog, a friendly German Shepard who joined us on our journey. He was a wonderful companion, making me smile whenever things seemed hopeless. Sometimes, when Daryl would actually sleep, which wasn't often as he preferred to stay awake to keep me safe, I'd sit and talk to Dog. I'd vent my frustrations and ask for advice, even though I knew he couldn't answer. Having a dog around was wonderful. However, he wasn't the only dog we acquired.

While out on the road, we came across a sweet little French bulldog. She was black as night with a small white patch on her chest. She was digging through a pile of something, probably scrounging for food. Upon hearing us, she poked his head up, intrigued when she laid eyes on Dog. Daryl held him back as he began barking at the bulldog, trying to calm him down as he only continued to get more excited. I knelt down, and she came bounding over to me, the tags on her collar jingling as she laid on her back and rolled around, demanding belly rubs. I flipped the top tag over, and my face lit up when I read her name.

"Daryl...her name's Delilah."

"Ain't that your childhood dog's name?"

"Yes! It's a sign, we have to keep her."

"Thought ya didn't believe in none o' that."

"Normally I don't. C'mon Daryl, please? Look at that face. How can you say no to that sweet little face?"

"Ya talkin' 'bout yours or hers?"

He was hesitant at first, as having one dog had proven to be a lot, but he had a hard time saying no to me. The way she and Dog were bonding so effortlessly, and how happy she was already making me in just the few minutes since finding her, he couldn't strip that joy away from me. So Delilah joined us, bringing our family to a total of four.

Amongst all the death, we were gifted with new life. Maggie had her baby, naming him Hershel Jr, after her father. He looked so much like his dad. It was like having a little piece of Glenn back with us. Michonne also gave birth to a little boy, giving Judith another brother and naming him RJ, Rick Grimes Jr. Aaron took on the task of caring for a baby girl named Gracie, treating her as if she were his own. Even Rosita had a baby, and precious Socorro joined the family as well. More kids that I got to be an auntie to. I had no complaints about that.

After returning to Alexandria, we discovered Negan had been captured, living in that tiny little cell I'd woken up in all those years ago. Good. Let the man rot in there for all I cared. Judith convinced Michonne to search for Rick, and she and RJ were put in mine & Daryl's care. They'd both grown so much in the time we'd spent away, and it was a pleasure to get to know these blossoming humans. There were curious things, Judith especially. She asked a lot of questions, and her curiosity knew no bounds. She asked medical questions, asked about my life before this, and even about my family.

"I know my mom's gonna find my dad. I hope you find your dad too," she'd told me.

One of my favorite memories was from an afternoon I spent with her and RJ. RJ was playing with some of the other kids, running around and playing tag or God knows what, and Judith wanted to stay on the sidelines with me while I picked flowers. I was surprised, as she was a feisty little thing and wasn't afraid to get down and dirty playing games with the boys. I learned later that she had an ulterior motive.

All these years later, everyone still only knew me as Vec or Vector, and Daryl still called me Vec in front of others. But there were a few nights where she overheard Daryl call me by my name, and being the speculative kid she was, she had to know why.

"Why does Daryl call you Lydia?" she asked, twirling one of the small flowers in her fingers.

"Because that's my name," I explained. She peered up at me from under the brim of her father's hat, and I could practically see the smoke pouring from her ears as the gears of her inquisitive mind shifted around.

"Why does everyone else call you Vec?" I looked up for a moment to make sure RJ was still in my line of sight before bringing my gaze back to hers.

"That's the nickname I like to go by," I answered. I could feel the series of questions that were coming.

"Why does he get to call you by your name?" she inquired, a hint of jealousy in her voice. I sighed and half-jokingly rolled my eyes. Kids sure ask a lot of questions, don't they?

"Because I love him." I could feel my cheeks turning a faint pink. Even after years of being with him, I still gushed and blushed when talking about him.

"Don't you love me too?" She hung her head slightly, sadness beginning to slip into her voice.

I laughed softly under my breath and squatted down to her level, picking a flower and handing it to her. "Of course I do, my angel. But there's different types of love." I picked a flower for myself, stroking the soft petals. "I love you the way your parents do, the way Maggie loves Herschel Jr. & Aaron loves Gracie. I love Daryl the way your parents love each other."

Her face lit up, and there was a curiosity in her eye. "How did you meet him?"

"Well, my dear," I said, sitting down next to her and crossing my legs, "you were just a wee baby when I showed up at Alexandria for the first time..."

The Whisperers might've been the most terrifying. "Skin jobs," as some had taken to calling them. They showed up around the time we returned to Alexandria, wearing walker skin and creeping around with the nasty things. Their horde was insane. They'd gathered thousands of walkers, keeping them on standby like some sick weapon. They terrorized us, one of them infiltrating our community and poisoning our water supply. Daryl took on a leadership role in Rick's absence. I was proud of him for stepping up and bringing people back together after Rick's disappearance tore everyone apart.

The war with the Whisperers was long and catastrophic. We lost Hilltop and the Kingdom, and ultimately, Alexandria. We would rebuild, just like we always did, but I would be lying if I said I didn't miss the peaceful days we had back when I first arrived there. Negan was even let out of his cell to infiltrate the Whisperers and take them down from the inside. I hated Negan, but he was a charismatic guy, I had to give him that. I could see why people might like him despite everything he'd done & everything, and everyone, his previous group had taken from us. And he was incredibly manipulative, so he was able to get close to them easily enough. The one good thing Negan did was kill Alpha, bringing her head to Carol once the task was completed. Alpha's daughter, Lydia, joined us, helping to take down her mother's horde once and for all.

It took a while for Lydia to get comfortable around everyone. She was most comfortable around Daryl, as they had similar childhoods & he could understand what she'd gone through in a way the rest of us couldn't. She didn't talk to me much at first, avoiding me as much as possible and hardly looking at me. I assumed she didn't like me, but when I told Daryl that, he laughed.

"She thinks you're super cool," he told me, "talks 'bout wantin' to be a badass like ya."

I racked my brain for ideas and came to the conclusion that finding a way to relate to Lydia, even a little, might help her. I didn't tell her exactly what happened to me before arriving at Alexandria, but I did explain that it was something awful. I assured her I wasn't perfect, I had my flaws and my history, but that didn't make me any less of a badass. I had one other idea up my sleeve that might make her smile and help her bring out the badass I knew she had lying within herself.

"Can I tell you a secret? You have to promise not to tell anyone."

"Umm, ok. I promise."

"My name's Lydia too."

Then, there was our arrival at the Commonwealth.

It was strange being back in my home state after so many years. We were interrogated by different people, asking about our history, where we came from, what we did before the outbreak, etc. Eventually, Daryl and I were pulled into an office together where we met the infamous Lance Hornsby.

Lance was the Deputy Governor, second-in-command to Pamela Milton. He was a charismatic guy, and for the most part, people seemed to like him. He had a sense of ambition about him, and he seemed to want the best for the Commonwealth and everyone in it, but I wasn't buying it. Something about him made my stomach queasy, but I couldn't put my finger on it. He gave me uncanny valley vibes.

"One of you is a doctor?" he asked. I hesitantly raised my hand and bit my lip, like there was somehow a correct answer and I was worried about getting it wrong, despite the fact that I was the doctor in the room. "What kind of doctor are you?"

"I'm a trauma surgeon," I replied, lowering my hand and steadying my voice to appear more confident than I was feeling, "amputations, bullet wounds, skin grafts, I've done it all."

Lance laughed. "What are you, 35? You're a little young to be a surgeon, aren't you?"

"That's flattering, but I'm 42. Smart of you to guess younger," I chuckled, "I had almost completed my residency when the world went to shit. I was a couple of months from board certification. You met Aaron, right? The guy with the fake foot and arm?" He nodded. "I did both of those with no medical equipment."

"She's done a hell of a lot more than just that," Daryl interjected.

"Get Tomi in here," Lance ordered, waving to a man by the door, "now!"

A few minutes later, another man was brought in, who I guessed was Tomi. He was wearing plain clothes, but given that it was so important he be retrieved, he had to be a fellow doctor, I presumed. My presumptions were quickly confirmed.

"Dr. Okumura, this woman is claiming to be a surgeon," Lance explained, gesturing to me, "test her."

"Test her?" he inquired, "ok, umm...Dr. Okumura, fellow surgeon. Thoracic. What kind of surgeon are you?"

"Well first, hi. I go by Vec," I introduced, offering him a handshake, to which he reciprocated, "would you prefer I call you Dr. Okumura, or is Tomi ok?"

"For a fellow doctor, Tomi's fine," he replied, a small smile crossing his face.

"Trauma surgery. Was almost finished with my residency at Johns Hopkins ER before all this."

He turned to Lance, seemingly impressed by my credentials. "Lance, that alone is amazing. She got into Johns—"

"I said test her," Lance demanded. Tomi rolled his eyes and sighed, turning back to me.

"You have a patient that shows up on your table. Bullet wound to the abdomen. How do you proceed?"

"Well, what's their history? Is the patient diabetic?" I wondered.

"Why does that matter?" Lance butt in, his impatience becoming ever present in his voice.

"It matters," I corrected. I held my hand up in his direction and closed it, indicating for him to shut his mouth. "Their sugar levels would need to be checked first to ensure they aren't hyper- or hypoglycemic. That would also need to be monitored throughout surgery. And they might need to take antibiotics for longer as they're at a higher risk of infection."

"She's right," Tomi confirmed, "as much of the patient's history as possible needs to be reviewed first before deciding how to proceed." I looked over Tomi's shoulder at Lance, who was pouting in his chair with his arms crossed. I raised my eyebrow and smirked at him.

"So when do I start?"

Everyone was assigned their jobs based on what they did prior to the outbreak. Daryl didn't have much in the way of a career prior to the world falling, but given his combat and survival skills, he was recruited to join the Commonwealth Army. Seeing as doctors were in high demand, I was quickly employed at the hospital, and we were given a cushier apartment. I could tell Daryl was already feeling out of place in such a, what he would deem, 'classy' environment.

"Hey," I assured, "you belong here. You deserve this. Just as much as anyone else."

"All I know's I belong wherever you are," he replied.

We settled into our new home and got the kids set up in school. I was excited that they were getting the opportunity to receive an education, something that I was sure would never be a possibility for them. I got to wear cute little sundresses nearly every day, a simple pleasure that I was grateful to partake in once again. And let's be real, Daryl enjoyed it as well. Many of our friends also made a home in the Commonwealth. It existed in its own bubble, like a little slice of the world that hadn't gone to complete shit. I got to wake up next to Daryl every morning, knowing that he, the kids, and our friends were safe. And after everything we'd been through, that was more than I could ever ask for.

*Third person perspective*

The autumn sun beamed down through the clouds, casting a beautiful glow on the red, orange, and yellow leaves that decorated the surrounding trees. There was a chill in the air, but given that he was always warm, Daryl wasn't concerned about being cold. As a gentle breeze came through, he looked at one of the trees, a small smile breaking out on his lips as he watched the branches sway to and fro. Lydia may have been his ray of sunshine, but this weather reminded him of her most. She's often talked about missing being able to go apple picking, spend an afternoon in a pumpkin patch, and drink warm cider by a campfire. "The most basic bitch thing about me," she would joke, but Daryl never thought it was silly. Lydia found joy in the small pleasures of life, and it was one of his favorite things about her.

Daryl was in his first week of basic training, preparing to join the Commonwealth Army. Not that he needed any training, though. His life out on the road, both pre- and post-apocalypse, had given him all the skills he needed to be successful in his duties. Today, they were out in an abandoned, desolate corner of the Commonwealth, filled with empty, run-down apartment buildings crawling with walkers. They were going to be teaming up and tackling the empty buildings with a single weapon like some sick obstacle course, the walkers being the obstacles.

A man in white armor approached him, giving him a wave before removing his helmet. He set it on the ground next to him, shaking out his hair. He looked familiar, but Daryl knew he'd never seen this man before. Still, there was something about him that he couldn't put his finger on. When he introduced himself, that was when it clicked.

"'Sup man?" he greeted, extending his hand to Daryl, "the name's Jay. Jay Vector."

Daryl froze. There was only one Jay Vector he knew of. This couldn't have been him, could it? But he kind of looked like her...it had to be him.

"Ya got a sister?" Daryl asked, the shock preventing him from returning the handshake. Jay looked stunned and coughed repeatedly, clearing his throat after having choked on his saliva.

"...yeah," he answered cautiously, like he was trying not to get his hopes up, "well, I did. Did you know her?"

"I know her," Daryl corrected. Jay's eyes looked like they were about to burst out of his skull, and he picked his jaw up off the ground. Tears were already beginning to well up in his eyes.

"Know her? Is she here? I—is she alive?" he asked, his voice beginning to quiver. His emotions were fluctuating between the relief that could come from hearing she was safe and alive and preparing for the heartbreak of hearing that she was dead.

"Wait—," Daryl instructed. Before he could finish, Jay took off running for the city center, the sound of his feet pounding the sidewalk drowning out the groans from the walkers in the abandoned buildings.

"Vector!" Mercer called out, but that didn't slow Jay down for even a second.

"I said wait!" Daryl shouted.

"I can't!" Jay shouted over his shoulder, raising his volume the further away he got, "our dad's here! I have to go get him!"

Not only was her brother alive, but her father was too. Lydia was about to be on cloud nine.

"Dixon!" Mercer yelled as Daryl took off toward home. Since he was still in basic training, he knew this stunt could get him in trouble, but he didn't care. At that moment, his only priority was to get to Lydia as fast as possible, to tell her that her family, whom she thought had been dead all this time, was alive.

*end of third-person, back to Lydia's POV*

Today was a day off for me, so I'd taken the opportunity to do some cleaning around the apartment and run some errands. Daryl was at basic training, and Judith and RJ had been asking for days now for a sleepover at Uncle Aaron's, so they were with him for the evening, which gave me the opportunity to work uninterrupted. I loved having them around, but I also needed my alone time now and then.

After returning from the grocery store, I took Dog and Delilah out for their afternoon walk. It was wonderful to have some semblance of a normal routine again after so many years of unpredictability and being out on the road. Being able to regularly go to work, go to the store, see friends, and come home to the love of my life and the kids and our dogs...after everything fell, I never thought I would live life like this again.

We returned from our afternoon walk, and I unclipped them from their leashes. They immediately ran to their respective water bowls, which Judith had decorated to have their names on them. As I hung their leashes by the front door, the sound of the lock clicking caught me by surprise, and in came Daryl, a subtle sheen of sweat on his face and lightly panting as he tried to catch his breath.

"Hey baby," I cooed, pulling him toward me by the collar of his shirt and kissing his jawline, "you're back early."

'Baby' had become a special pet name for us. We only used it in two contexts: one, to indicate to the other that we were in the mood. And two, in bed. Outside of that, Daryl preferred being called 'my little Georgia peach' or 'my love,' and I liked being called 'sunshine' and 'buttercup.' But in a sexual context, 'baby' just rolled off the tongue so naturally. Plus, there was something sexy about having a pet name reserved for the bedroom.

"Later." He picked me up by the waist and set me down in the hallway, eliciting a small, surprised yelp from me. "Someone ya gotta see first."

"What do you mean? The hospital didn't call," I asked as he locked the door behind us. He began ushering me down the hall, an urgency in his step that I'd only seen in true emergency situations. Which of course, admittedly, had me worried.

"Ain't a medical emergency," he said.

"Then where are we going?" I asked, nearly tripping over my feet as we began descending the stairs.

He ignored my question and coaxed me down the steps and out the front door of our building onto the busy street. It was the middle of the day, and everyone was hustling and bustling about, going to and coming from work and gathering their kids from school. The farther we got from our building, the less familiar everything became. I'd hardly had any time to explore all the nooks and crannies of the Commonwealth, so I didn't have a clue as to where we were going.

"Daryl, you're worrying me." I gently tugged on his shirt sleeve to get him to stop, and he turned and looked at me. "Can you tell me what's going on?"

He took my arm and pulled me to the side of the walking path, taking us around the corner of the nearest building so we were secluded in its shadow. Whatever he was going to respond with, he wanted privacy for. Whether it was for the nature of the topic or my potential reaction, I wasn't sure.

"I think ya brother's alive."

The ringing in my ears began before my brain fully processed what he said. My heart rate was escalating quickly, and my skyrocketing blood pressure caused my head to spin. I was almost certain I would pass out. My knees caved in, and I would've collapsed had Daryl not already had his arms around my waist to catch me.

Guess the privacy was for my reaction.

"My what?" My voice was shaking, and tears were already beginning to well up in my eyes and pour over onto my face. I was certain I must've misheard him. "A—a—are you sure?"

"Any other Jay Vector's ya know?" he asked as he helped me steady myself back on my feet. He wiped a few tears off my cheeks and kissed my forehead. "C'mon."

We went back to the walking path, his hand on my lower back as he guided me through the crowded street. I had no idea where to go, but had my legs not felt like jelly, I would've taken off running.

We ended up in a desolate area of the community filled with abandoned buildings, their windows broken open and doors pulled off their hinges. Vines crept up the sides of some of the brick structures, creating beautiful patterns as they worked up and around the textured surface, and the overgrown grass tickled my ankles.

There was a crowd of people up ahead, most of them dressed in casual clothes like Daryl. There were a couple of people in white armor and one man in bright orange armor, who I guessed was the one in charge. I figured this must've been where Daryl was doing his basic training, and everyone, minus those in armor, were his fellow recruits. As we made our way toward the group, some of them turned to us, ignoring the orders of the man in the orange armor. One particularly tall man in white armor caught my attention, and his familiar features immediately sent comfort washing over me. My sharp inhale caught in my throat. and my eyes quickly welled up with tears and clouded my vision. Daryl was right.

There he was, my big brother, in the flesh. Despite seeing him with my own eyes, I almost couldn't believe it.

He was in his mid-40s now, and his usual dark hair had taken on a salt & pepper appearance as he aged. He'd grown a beard, which had the same salt & pepper look as his hair, and he looked well-fed, well-rested, and happy. He clearly had been here for some time. He towered over nearly everyone in the group, aside from the man in the orange armor. Jay was the tallest in our family, even outgrowing his twin. No one knew where his gigantic stature came from.

And next to him was our dad.

He had gone fully gray, the wrinkles on his face telling a story of someone who'd been to hell and back. He was in his mid-60s, but he didn't look frail or fragile by any means. He'd been able to take care of himself. My father wasn't often a man who cried. Not because he thought it wasn't masculine to do so, it just wasn't how he processed his emotions. But upon laying eyes on me, he burst into tears.

I sprinted for them, first nearly tripping over my own feet, then some sidewalk cracks and God knows what else. At the speed I was moving, I was sure I had started floating, no longer feeling my feet as they pounded the sidewalk. I didn't care if I face-planted and ate shit in front of all of these strangers. My brother was alive. My dad was alive. I had already grieved them both years ago, accepted the fact that they were both dead, or if they weren't dead, that I would never see either of them again. But here they were, safe and sound and alive.

"Jay!" I cried out, tears flying off my face as I ran and soaking my hair, "Dad!" Jay ran toward me, arms open and ready to catch me like he'd always done growing up.

I nearly toppled him to the ground as I ran straight into his arms, squeezing him tighter than I ever thought I'd be capable of. Overwhelmed by the familiar comfort of his hug, my legs gave out, and we both fell to the ground. We buried our faces in each other's shoulders and sobbed openly. The cries that came out of me were almost heart-wrenching, but they were cries of joy. Of happiness. Of relief.

"You're alive," Jay whispered, unable to speak louder without his voice breaking, "I can't believe my baby sister's alive."

Another person came and knelt next to us, wrapping their arms around us both. "Lydia, sweetheart," the voice said, "we've missed you." I knew that deep, soothing voice to be that of my dad's, and hearing that nickname he'd only ever used just for me sent me careening into more fits of sobs.

I released one of my arms from around Jay and wrapped it around my father, bringing him in for a group hug. "I thought you were dead," I sobbed, "I thought you were both dead."

In the time we sat there, huddled in a group hug and sobbing into each other, the world outside of us didn't exist. All that existed was our familial bond, the love we had for each other, and the grief that was washing away being replaced with relief and joy and excitement. Years ago, I had accepted that I would never see them again, but that didn't mean I ever lost hope that maybe, just maybe, we would cross paths again. And damn, I was grateful I never gave up that hope.

Jay was the first to pick his head up, wiping tears off his cheeks. He got onto his knees and helped our dad to his feet before doing the same. I followed suit, slowly rising to my feet and steadying myself on my dad's shoulder. The adrenaline pumping through my system was beginning to wear off, and my muscles felt like jelly.

"When did you get here?" Jay asked, rubbing his eyes with his fists, "where have you been?"

I ran my hands through my hair and cleared my throat. "I only got here recently. I was in Virginia for a long time. I wandered around looking for this safe zone and eventually found it. I was hoping maybe I'd find you there, Jay, if you had come out to Maryland looking for me."

"Did you have people with you?" he asked.

"I found...some of the best people I've ever met," I explained, "a lot of them are here now or in other nearby communities." I dropped my eyes to the ground and smiled. "I don't know if I would've made it this long without them."

"Leave it to you to find the best of the best, even in a fallen world," my dad complimented, laughing softly under his breath. He had always admired my ability to surround myself with good people, regardless of the circumstances I found them in.

"Dad, how did you even get back? What happened up there?" I asked. He wiped a tear from my cheek, then his own.

"When we didn't hear anything from our command station for several hours, we knew something was wrong. We reached out again and again and got nothing. It took a lot of effort and thinking on our feet, but we were able to land successfully back in Florida. By that point, everything had fallen, and we had no idea what was going on." He patted Jay on the back. "I was hunkered down at the base with my crew until Jay showed up."

"God, that's scary. I'm so sorry." I couldn't help but think back to the story Rick had told me, how he woke from being in a coma after everything fell & trying to find help in an empty hospital. Being up in space, having no communication with anyone down on Earth, all while knowing something seriously wrong had to be happening...I couldn't imagine the fear he'd experienced.

"We've been here at the Commonwealth since its formation," Jay cut in, "I went to Florida, hoping I could find him, then we made our way back home, hoping we'd find you and Eli."

Upon mentioning home, my father's face lit up, looking hopeful. He grabbed me by the shoulders and shook me gently. "Eli! What about Eli, is he with you?"

The smile on my face quickly dropped, overtaken by a somber expression. I locked eyes with my father and shook my head, my heart breaking at having to crush his hope and deliver the news that Eli didn't make it.

"No," I choked out, reaching into my jacket pocket, "he, uh...he never made it out of the house that day." I turned my gaze to Jay, my eyes clouded with tears. "I went home to look for you both. He'd...already succumbed to a bite when I found him." I decided to spare them the details of the axe in his shoulder and me having to finish him off.

I pulled a folded-up piece of paper from my pocket, handing it to Jay. "He wrote this before he died. Guess now we can say we fulfilled his last wish." The end of my sentence came out through broken sobs, the words barely coherent. They read over Eli's note, the one I'd kept in the back of my notebook all these years and had recently started carrying on my person.

Jay, Dad, Lydia,

Do what you need to stay alive

Find each other

I love you

Eli

The paper shook in Jay's hands as they scanned over Eli's last words, tears falling from their faces and soaking the letter. My father buried his face in his hands, taking a few deep, shaky breaths. He had a brief moment of hope that his youngest son was alive, and it was crushing to have to destroy that hope. Jay folded the note and handed it back to me.

"I had a feeling he was gone," Jay sighed before a small smile broke out on his face, "y'know, twin telepathy and all that." Jay was the master of comedic relief in tense moments in our family.

I looked back over my shoulder and waved for Daryl to come over. He hadn't moved an inch from his spot, giving me space to reunite with my family, waiting for me to give him permission to join us. He came over, approaching slowly, and stood beside me, placing a hand on my lower back. Daryl was clingy with me, but it wasn't just because of how much he loved me and loved touching me—it was also a comfort thing for him, a grounding activity that helped him when he was feeling hesitant, overwhelmed, or anxious.

"Two of my children are alive," my dad cried, his voice trembling still as he tried to regain his composure. He wrapped one arm around Jay's back and the other one around my shoulders. "In this world, that's more than I could ever ask for." Jay was the first of them to acknowledge Daryl's presence.

"Hey Lydia?" he asked, using his head to gesture to Daryl, "how do you know this guy?"

When Daryl told me Jay was alive, I hadn't even thought about how I would introduce him to my brother. We hadn't gotten married, as up until arriving at the Commonwealth, marriage wasn't a thing, not in the way it used to be at least. There was never a need to refer to each other with titles, as we normally spent our time around people who knew we were together, so introductions weren't necessary. Anytime they were, Daryl had only ever referred to me as his woman, and his introduction of me didn't require any introductions of him on my part. But now it was necessary, and I had to make a split-second decision.

"This is Daryl," I introduced, "he's my—"

"I'm her husband," Daryl interjected.

My what?

I bit the inside of my lower lip to keep my jaw from unhinging onto the ground. I blinked repeatedly, hoping it would stop my eyes from bugging out of my skull. Both my brother and father's faces lit up, and Jay looked like he was about to start jumping for joy.

"Took the words right out of my mouth," I said, gently nudging Daryl with my elbow and smiling to conceal the utter shock coursing through me.

"Oh sweetheart," my dad gushed, bringing me in for another hug. He tilted his head up and spoke to Daryl as he hugged me. "It's wonderful to meet you, Daryl. Thank you for caring for my daughter."

"The honor's all mine, Mr. Vector," he replied.

"Please, call me John. Mr.—"

"Mr. Vector was my father," I mocked in a deep voice. He laughed and playfully elbowed my arm. That was the response my dad always gave any time someone called him Mr. Vector. If I had a dollar for every time I'd heard him say it, I could pay off my, now non-existent, medical school debt.

"How did you two meet?" Jay asked. He was giving Daryl a look-over with his eyes, scanning over him from head to toe. While he was happy for me, I could already feel the protective big-brother energy radiating off of him.

"I cut a guy's foot off," I replied. Daryl chuckled softly under his breath, and Jay and my father each cocked an eyebrow at me. I realized I sounded a little too elated for what I was talking about. "Not Daryl's foot. My friend Aaron's. He got bit. I didn't do it for no reason." I rested my head on Daryl's shoulder and smiled big, reflecting on the happy memories of my early days at Alexandria. "Aaron and Daryl lived in the same community. That's how we met."

"Daryl, do you mind if I take a moment with my daughter?" my father asked, and Daryl shook his head. My dad coaxed me a few steps away, just out of earshot of the others. I knew exactly what was coming.

There was a series of questions my father had made a habit of asking my siblings and me when we started dating someone knew. He started doing it with Preston when he got his first girlfriend in middle school, and it'd been a staple since. He looked at me and smiled, knowing full well that I knew exactly what he was going to ask & there was no need to preface anything.

"Does he treat you well?"

"The best any man ever has."

"Does he make you happy?"

"More than I thought I ever could be."

"Is he good to other people?"

"Yes, unless they don't deserve it."

"I can't wait to get to know him," he replied as we stepped back to join Jay and Daryl. That was the response we always hoped to receive from Dad after he asked his questions. It was his way of giving his blessing, and even as a grown, hyper-independent woman, the little girl in me was still pleased to have my father's approval.

"You two are very similar," I said to Jay, "you're gonna be calling him your new best friend in no time."

"Aww hell yeah!" Jay beamed, holding his hand up for a high-five, which Daryl reciprocated.

"Well, we need to get together. Got a whole decade of life we need to catch up on. Are you two free for dinner tonight?" my dad asked.

"What do you think, Daryl? Can we do tonight?" I inquired, "the kids will be with Aaron." I was immediately kicking myself for my wording choice, my cheeks turning beet red and nearly stumbling over my words as I tried to correct where I imagine their trains of thought were going. "They're not our kids. Well kind of. Not biologically. I didn't birth them."

"Tonight works," Daryl confirmed.

"I can tell you about the girl I'm seeing," Jay said confidently, running a hand through his hair.

"Jay William Vector," I gasped, placing a hand over my chest to feign shock, "a girl?"

"I know, a girl that's into me. Crazy, right?" he laughed, "her name's Rosie. I know you'll love her."

"Dixon! Vector!" the man in the orange armor bellowed.

"Surprised Mercer ain't said shit 'til now," Daryl commented. Ah, so this is the infamous Mercer, I thought.

"Should get back." Jay pulled me in for another hug, this one tighter than the last. "I missed you so much. I'm so glad one of my siblings is alive."

"I missed you too," I echoed.

"I should get back too," my dad said, "I've been helping the science teachers with their curriculums. You should see how the kids' faces light up when I tell them I've been to space."

I chuckled and pulled my father in for another hug. "We'll see you tonight. I can't wait to hear all about it."

"I love you, sweetheart."

"I love you too, dad."

"I look forward to getting to know you, Daryl." My dad extended his hand to Daryl for a handshake, which Daryl reciprocated. "My daughter's always been a great judge of character. If she chose you, you must be a good one." With a nod, my dad was off, headed back to his scholarly duties.

"Hey, guys! I have a brother-in-law!" Jay called out as he ran back to the group. He was the goofball of the family, the class clown if you will, and oh, how I'd missed having that energy around.

Once they were both out of earshot, I turned to Daryl, locking eyes with him and folding my arms across my chest. "My husband, huh? When were you planning on telling me this?"

"We'll talk when I get back," he replied, his fingers tracing down my arm to my hand and taking it in his. I could sense he was feeling a bit anxious. I'm sure meeting my family impromptu like that was a little overwhelming, so I didn't press the issue further.

"Well don't be too long now, handsome," I said, giving him a flirtatious smirk and gently squeezing his hand, "your wife's gonna be waiting for you."

Once I was home, I tossed my jacket onto the back of the nearest chair and went to the bathroom. I took my glasses off and set them on the bathroom counter, rubbing my eyes with my fists. I splashed some water on my face and used my dress to clean my glasses before putting them back on. I ran my hands through my hair, fluffing it and brushing the flyaways back in their place.

"Maybe I'm gonna get to read those wedding vows after all," I said to myself.

Daryl returned sometime later, immediately greeted by Dog and Delilah. They bounded over to him, Dog jumping onto his hind legs and Delilah dancing around his feet. He scratched behind Dog's ears as he licked his face. Delilah sat on Daryl's foot, a little habit she had picked up whenever she wanted someone's attention. She'd pop a squat on their foot and stay there until she received the attention she was looking for. He coaxed Dog back on all fours and knelt down to give Delilah some pets. She rolled over onto her back, demanding belly rubs, which were her favorite. I chuckled softly as I watched him play with her, thinking back to how hesitant he was for us to take her on when we first found her. Now, they were the best of friends. After a minute, she rolled over, walking away now that she was satisfied.

"Hey handsome," I greeted, leaning back against the wall and crossing my arms over my chest, "did you get in trouble with your commander?"

"He cooled off once he realized what was happening. Jay didn't get in trouble neither," he replied. He came over to me and closed the space between us, pressing his body to mine and kissing me with such fervor that you'd think we were reuniting after several years rather than just a couple of hours.

"So, that talk we need to have...you've never called yourself my husband before." His hands wandered down my back and around to my hips, his thumbs drawing circles on my hip bones over my dress. I was already beginning to turn red. Even after all these years, Daryl still managed to make me blush the same way he did over a decade ago.

"Once my job got settled, wanted to ask you proper," he explained, kissing my cheek and then my jawline, "save up to get ya a ring 'n whatnot. Ya deserve it." My heart was singing so loud, I was certain Daryl could hear it.

"My love, you could've asked me to marry you with a twig fashioned into a ring and I would've said yes," I smiled, snaking my arms around his neck.

"Get to call ya my wife...kinda hot." One hand remained on my hip, the other traveling down and into the slit of my dress to caress my thigh. He continued to plant sweet, sultry kisses on my jawline before working down my neck, and had Daryl's body weight not been holding me to the wall, I would've crumbled. The man knew my weaknesses.

"Should I start going by Dr. Dixon now?" I asked, biting my lip to contain my fits of giggles.

"Dr....Lydia...Rae...Dixon," he said between planting soft, open-mouthed kisses on my neck, "has a nice ring to it, don't ya think baby?"

"Yeah," I gushed, "I like it." He abruptly stopped the series of kisses and wrapped his arms around my waist, lifting me and coaxing me to wrap my legs around him. I ran my fingers up into his hair and buried my face in the crook of his neck. "Daryl, where are we going?"

Like I didn't know the answer.

"Gotta consummate the marriage, right? Ain't that how it works?" he teased.

I leaned back and looked deep into his eyes, my signature big, silly grin spreading from ear to ear. I continued to twirl his chocolate locks in my fingers, playing with them as he carried me to our bedroom.

Way back when everything first went to shit, I thought I would be lucky to find a community of half-decent people. Hell, I thought I'd be lucky to just survive. But I did find a community, one made of the best people I could've asked for to go through this hell with. The best of the best, of course, was the man in front of me holding me around his waist. I wasn't looking for romance after the world fell. Truthfully, I'd given up on that being a possibility. Given all the shit I'd dealt with before walking through the gates of Alexandria for the first time, I was hesitant to even consider it. But then Daryl came into the picture, and everything changed. He'd sat with me while I cried, comforted me after my nightmares, listened to me yap on about the same things over and over again, and was beyond patient with me on all fronts. He'd been there through it all. He'd loved me through it all. I'd found myself again, and in that journey, I found Daryl as well.

"I love you."

"I love ya too."

Taglist: @raddydaddydude @lovenormandixon @angeldemoncrowley

[haleigh-sloth]

Do you think if Shigaraki does come back, do you think Hori will be able to retcon the stuff with Deku and Shigaraki? Like Deku never truly understood him and spent the whole story focusing solely on the crying child inside of him rather than saving adult Shigaraki.

Also, there's the conversation between Deku and All Might in the last chapter about Shigaraki, where All Might already told Deku that he is the greatest hero and that he saved Shigaraki even if he didn't save him physically.

So, if Shigaraki does come back, I am not sure how All Might and Deku are going to approach it. Or I guess what I'm trying to say is I'm not sure what Horikoshi will be able to do with the dynamic between Deku/Shigaraki and Shigaraki/All Might. I am just not sure how he will end their storyline anymore.

I do feel like there are signs that Shigaraki is coming back, but I also feel very unsure too.

See....this is where I feel like Hori shot himself in the foot in a few spots.

Deku failed to save his life, and to be honest I don't think we actually know why. Because from what I understand, the second AFO took the body back over, that body was done for. In retrospect, that body may have been done for a long time ago given what we know now.

The conversation they had before he died ("died") is still questionable because we already saw snippets of it afterward that weren't a part of the first time we saw it. So did we actually see all of it? Idk. Deku says he died because he "wouldn't stop being a leader to the LOV" but that...isn't why he died. He died because his body got punched into a million pieces. And his body got punched into a million pieces because AFO was the one in charge of the body. Nothing here really ties together in a sensible way imo.

I also have hang ups on the whole "Deku didn't understand him" piece. While I agree Tomura didn't want to let go of wanting to be a hero the LOV, I don't think it makes sense to let that be the pinnacle of failure on Deku's part. I also don't think Tomura wanting to be their hero was framed negatively, so it still doesn't make sense for that to be what his downfall was and use that to make the protag fail at his challenge. Also, if the way Toga and Touya were handled had gone differently and say, actually leaned into the whole "Tomura saved us" idea, I'd say maybe it could work.

But what we have right now is something where Tomura wanted to be their hero, and he was in a way, but they still needed heroes who would actually save them. Not just save them by accepting them, but save them by pushing them to change and pulling them out of the ruts they were in. And as far as Toga and Touya are concerned, that's what the story went with. It's already happened. They needed someone to save them in every way, which is what Ochacko and the Todorokis did (still a work in progress I'm sure tho). So yeah I get that Deku didn't quite meet him where he was at on that front, I think, but it doesn't make sense to have that be the failing point if that sentiment isn't being shown to be the answer for the other side of things yk? It'd be weird to let Tomura die on an unfulfilled wish? Or like a half-met wish? This is backed up even further by Tomura ending his story with "Tell Spinner Tomura Shigaraki fought to destroy until the very end". Like....the entire point of saving him was to help him realize that he didn't need to destroy everything. That he didn't WANT to destroy everything. AND! Destroying everything isn't what his friends wanted either. For me, it's very unfinished on the Deku/Tenko front. Do I think everything about Deku can be salvaged unless Hori pulls a "Tenko is revealed to be alive and Deku knew he was alive all along but had to play it off like he killed him"? Nope. Unless he does that, well, there's a lot about Izuku that's just kind of...washed away. And I'll take the L on that. Sucks. Idk how he'd come back from that for Izuku's sake tbh. But we'll see. I am still remaining on the hopeful side for everything. I'm not writing everything off yet. I am expecting to have criticisms and complaints by the end, but if a few basic expectations are met then I'll be happy enough and call it a win.

As far as All Might goes....I'm sorry but All Might never once showed any kind of....anything toward Tomura. I know people want to act like he has the same thinking as Izuku but I've never once seen All Might give a shit about Tenko. Sorry. I really have nothing to offer on that front. As far as I'm concerned, he's been written to be more like Gran Torino, just less callous about it.

I have little to no expectations on the Tenko/All Might front. I'm really just putting my eggs in the Deku/Tenko front. I'm at a point where I don't even care if it's done badly....as long as the ending is happy for everyone idgaf anymore. Damn.

[driftingvoid-155]

Do you have any good fnaf Fan fiction recommendations?

Oh lord, where do I even begin lol. There’s so many good ones out there.

His Empire of Dirt by pearlandpine. One of my favorites. Made me feel emotions I didn’t even know I had. 10/10. Basically, time travel Michael fic who goes back in time and tries to change the path that his father is on.

Eye of the Hurricane by ghostlychances ( @gh0stlychances ). If you like jeremike, I cannot recommend this one enough. Another one of my favs and don’t let the large word count scare you. Everyone of those chapters is an absolute banger that will leave you wanting more. Really dives into the lives of Mike and Jeremy and their relationship together as Mike tries and hunts down his dad. I also recommend this authors other fnaf fics too. They’re all so good.

Literally all of Lucius01 ( @panaramic-art ) fics. Idk how they do it but every single one of their aus is amazing and immediately draws me in and every chapter they post has me running to ao3. I think my favorite of theirs tho is Life of a Living Corpse as it’s the fic that actually got me hooked on jeremike as a couple.

Caught to the Bone, the Rise of Foxtrap by Shadow_Joker ( @shadowjokerao3 ). AU where when working in fazbear frights, William actually manages to get the better of Mike and traps him in an old springlock Foxy suit which he then possesses. I absolutely love the concept and the author does such an amazing job writing it. I also recommend their other fics as well, they have plenty more fnaf ones and they’re all must reads in my eyes.

Yes, We Take Walk-Ins by IDs_Fantasy & LizardsInTheGarden. I love the concept of Mike being like ‘huh, what can I do to fix what Ennard did to me’ and deciding going to a taxidermist was his best option. Every chapter of that fic is an absolute treat and I await anymore that the authors decide to write.

PSA: Don’t Let Stupid Dead People Run Pizzerias by Quetzal1553. Literally one of the funniest crack aus I’ve ever read. Plot is basically Michael fucking up running the pizzeria in fnaf 6 in every way possible. Leaves my dying laughing every time I reread it.

Left Undone by PetePepsi. Fic that focuses on Mike and a crew, which includes Phone Dude, building and running Fazbear Frights. It’s not too far along but I’m already hooked on the concept and eagerly await any updates.

You Won’t Die (You Never Have Before) by PrinceJakeFireCake. Another half crack fic that I love to pieces. Immortal Mike who just dies constantly and gets up and walks away from it each time, completely unbothered.

Lights! Camera! Action! by AshstoAshs. Fic that was recently recommended to me that I absolutely tore through reading. After being scooped, Mike possesses Funtime Chica and from there escapes and runs into Jeremy who decides to try and help him out.

Breaking and Reentering by biteof22. Just some Jeremike shenanigans of them breaking back into sister location.

William D’Afton: A Less Terrible Father (Than His Contemporaries) by PrinceJakeFireCake. Chaotic Michael, clueless Will, ‘would help his bff hide a body if that body is the neighbor he hates’ Henry. Everything is chaos here and it is great. I would literally read a million more words of this AU if the author decided to write it.

People Like Him by WTFGayLittleZooid. Fic where the night shift workers of fnaf Mike, Jeremy, and Fritz all meet up to talk about their time spent surviving five nights at Freddy’s. One of the first fnaf fics I ever read and one I go back to reread ever so often.

Sorry this got long. There’s just so many that I love and so many I didn’t even get to add here seeing as my bookmarked fnaf fics total over a hundred lol. I do hope that if you’re looking for something to read, one of these manages to catch your eye :)

[kissesandsuch]

It just doesn’t make ANY SENSE. NONE AT ALL. Gojo was absolutely slaughtering Sukuna. There is absolutely no reason why Sukuna would still be “underestimating him” and “holding back” like 20 chapters into the Damn fight. SUKUNA pulled out his entire fucking catalog he was throwing Pokémon at my king and was STILL LOSING. There is genuinely no way this fucking happened. Not only did Gege ruin the most hyped up fight in the show with only like 5 panels, but he ruined Gojos arc and story. This genuinely RUINS the story. I’m saying this as a JJK fan, not a Gojo fan. He couldn’t even have the decency to think of a way for SUKUNA to have a comeback, HE LITERALLY JUST APPARENTLY HEALED EVERYTHING AND BECAME A POWERHOUSE OFF SCREEN AND CUT GOJO IN HALF?? Now that I’ve seen the whole chapter I see how fucking terrible and rushed it is. He said that he learned to cut through space and time so infinity doesn’t matter???? WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN???? And Gojo could’ve def beaten him without infinity too. My gears are actually fucking grinding rn. They gave my king a fucking off screen death and HUMILIATED HIM by making him say sukuna was always stronger than him. Idk what Gege is on but I need some of it because no fucking way he actually thought this was a good idea. Gojo and Getos reunion was BARELT ANYTHING. Are you meaning to tell me after Gojo spent his whole life loving him got betrayed by him killed hik had to bury him had his body used against him to seal him in another dimension he would’ve just been like “oh hey Geto” NOOOOOO!!!!! He literally fucking started to smile when he saw Kenjaku using Getos body for a second because he thought it was Geto. You’re meaning to tell me his team reaction to seeing Geto again was just FUCKING NOTHING???? GOJO WOULDVE LITERALLY BROKEN DOWN AND AFTER THAT LONG HARD ASS FIGHT WE DONT WVEN GET TO SEE GOJO CRY???? FOR ALL HES BEEN THROUGH????? HE COULDNT JUST SAY HE LOVED GETO AND HE WISHED HE COULD TAKE IT ALL BACK??? He said he didn’t have any regrets. ITS SO FUCKING OUT OF CHARACTER??????? He regretted EVERRYYYTTHHIIINNGGG!!!!! His life was literally ass. It’s been confirmed like 20 times over that Gojos biggest regret was not following Geto when he left. Did he not regret having to hurt Megumi? Did he not regret not saving Riko? Did he not regret not being able to save Itadori? Did he not regret having to die infront of all his students? Does he not regret not being there to save Nanami? He doesn’t regret not trying to live his life for himself? HE DOESNT REGRET ANYTHHIIINNNGGG?????? Oh so we’re lying now. I’m so fucking mad I’m FUMING. And now we have Kamishido fighting SUKUNA??? IF THE STRONGEST CANR BEAT HIM WHO THE FUCK CAN???? It’s not even a situation where it’s like it was neck and neck the whole time but Gojo eventually lost barely so now someone else has to finish Sukuna off. Because now apparently Sukuna is FUCKING ALL POWERFUL????? His death was barely even focused on HIS FEELINGS. All we got was that he regrets nothing (wrong) and that Highschool was the best part of his life (which we already knew). I’m not over his lack luster reaction to seeing Geto. Gojo literally froze for a full fucking minute when he saw Kenjaku, so when he sees the real Geto he’s just like “aw man this sucks!!😝😝” SHUT THE FUCK UP I HSTE YOU GEGE I HATE YOU. I’ve been genuinely mourning him. I can’t even look at his sexy edits anymore without wanting to bawl my eyes out again. I’ve never felt so much sadness for the death of a character. Fuck you Sukuna fuck you Toji fuck you Kenjaku and fuck anyone who’s not dick riding my king. I refuse to see him off like this. FUCK YOU GEGE WHEN I FIND YOU DONT JUST LOCK YOUR DOORS BLOCK ALL YOUR PIPES BECAUSE I WILL PULL AN OCTOPUS AND CRAWL THROUGH YOUR PIPES LIKE A LIQIUD

[liliansun]

Relationship investigator anon here! 😃 allow me to dive into (you) why JENO is terrible for sal. I know what you're thinking - i'm CRAZY. And i am 😭 i'm reading too much into this. I genuinely like their little interactions so far but DAMN boy. Okay so what i glean from these girls' personalities, first of all, is that sal is honestly quite sweet and takes care of the others. So do the others but idk i think you showed that side of sal more?? Like neowa and mal are the savage little devils and we love them for that (sad girl hours for neowa and mal??? GOD PLEASE DONT LET HEM BE SAD) but like sal is sweet and i feel like her having him as a lockscreen is proof that she is falling too fast??,, and she's gonna get hurt bc jeno is quiet and silent and maybe he just don't know what he's feeling until she's sad :((

MAL on the other hand. Like that girl is gonna get so soft for jaemin and then it'll be a push and pull until she gives in and lets him in. Love how he flirts with her tbh and her reactions are everything?? I can't waot fkr their storyy, and I know jaemin will treat her well.

Joy and mark,, do i have tk say anymore?? Like they're already a thing and it's gonna be super sad seeing joy be upset and lonely without her man around BUT THEN SHE and MARK find a way thrpugh it bc mark is a man who solves issues and he wouldn't want his girl to be suffering alone ykwim

And then neowa and renjun. Theirs is gonna be such a finale?? You got renjun who's in love with yn and then neowa who's been pining fkr him for a while and they're both going to hurt esp when he has to face yns rejection to get over it and realize that neowa was right there for him?? Short king stand UP

And haechan and yn , tbh atp i think yn just needs tk have a talk w him and she'll realize she likea him and he does too and that it was all bc he was afraid of letting her know about the personality his frienda knew about. Renjun might be the little bastard causing little uncertainties i think but the love is there.

Jeno though 🤨 he's a dark horse and i KNOW he's gonna hurt sal 😤

I am so psyched for your new stories?? Like actually excites bouncing off my seat and the walls and you're def gonna deliver as always FR i LOVE YOU (im so sorry for the long ass post wtf is wrong with me)

baby. lemme start off with this was so long and i was at work like 😧 well i still am at work but anyways😭

okay i get where you’re coming from w jeno BUT PLEASE TRUST HIM. they’re all gonna get hurt, both parties and it’s gonna suck and you (and i) might cry but it’s gonna be worth it in the end :( and i think i said it in another ask or something but jeno is gonna show how he feels more in jaemin’s story bc they’re like this 🤞(i spent too long looking for his emoji HELP)

omg jaemin’s story i’m too excited to write like y’all thought i was excited to write hyucks but DEAR LORD AM I READY FOR YALL TO SEE HOW THEY PLAY OUT.

joy and mark are already so cute but i just wanna be the first to say they gonna be going THROUGH IT. like y’all thought y/n and hyuck were going through it..just wait 😁😭

AND JUN AND NEOWA,, there is a reason theirs is last and you’ll know the more we progress through the others stories bc like rn we’re (me) hinting at it but they are gonna be so lowkey about it until BAM their story comes to light and it’ll all be like OOO AHH GASP

hyuck and y/n,, i can’t say anything bc it’s still wip rn 👀 but as these chapters i’m writing rn,, it’ll get better for them. y’all just don’t know what i know and it’s kipling me bc i’m like on ch 29? about to write 30? and i think y’all are on 25 😭

and jeno will or will not hurt sal (unintentionally) but it’s gonna be vice versa and i’m already saying too much y’all got me talking about things i’m NOT SUPPOSED TO BE TALKINF ABOJT

AND IM EXCITED FOR YOU TO READ THEM,, you and the other anons and everyone just make my heart so full y’all don’t even know and i love y’all’s feedback and seeing how y’all react it just brings me happiness AND I LOVEYOU 😁😚🫶🤭

[knivestothroats]

Red Blood, Black Heart pt 7

Previous, Masterlist

Content warnings: Discussion of previous grisly injuries, discussion of murder, knives, guns, broken bones, general violence, minor fangirling. 

~

“You like the band Serpents Teeth, right?” Barnes asked, glancing down at the file on his desk.

“Yeah,” Red smiled.

“How much do you like them?”

“Oh, I mean, they’re, like, one of my favorite bands. I have all their albums.”

“Hm,” was Barnes’ only response. He pursed his lips as he looked down at the files again.

“Are you asking if I can be professional around them?” Red asked. “Because I totally can. I’ll be chill.”

“I was actually hoping to find a certain level of… devotion.”

“Oh! Well I was totally downplaying my response because I thought you wanted me to, you know, not freak out,” Red said. “Their music got me through the worst of my teen angst and totally hating my life in high school. I know all the words to all of their songs. I would fucking die for them. Or kill for them, which is probably more of what you’re looking for.

“Great, I’m putting you on their case,” Barnes said, handing a folder across the desk to Red. “In addition to your aptitude, if you like the band, you’re already invested in their wellbeing. Of course, your ability comes first, but being willing to kill or die for the band, as you said, narrows it down from our other agents. Please do not die, though.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Red grinned, flipping through the files excitedly. “Um, just me?”

“That was the plan,” Barnes said. “Do you have reservations? You’ve done solo missions before.”

“Oh, no, I believe I can do it. I’m just… I thought if the pack was larger than three people it required two agents? And I’ve been doing a lot of missions with Simon, so…”

“The limit is three until the agent reaches a certain skill level. It does not go above four for anyone, though. As for Simon, he’s a valuable asset. Putting you both on this mission would likely be overkill, and we can use his skills elsewhere.” Barnes folded his hands on the desk. “Do you feel comfortable with that?”

“Yeah, sure,” Red said in a bad attempt at being casual. In truth, her nerves came far more from the prospect of being around Serpents Teeth than any risk to her physical wellbeing. Her hands were nearly shaking as she tried to focus on reading the files.

“You know, they were here that day you jumped into the med bay without your shoulder. I thought that might have scared them off, but I was able to frame it in terms of, you know, you got your pack out unharmed and we were able to fix you up. Would have been worse if you weren’t there for your pack, or if we weren’t there for you.”

“Oh, glad I could help,” Red deadpanned.

Barnes tapped his copy of the case file. “We’re looking at long term protection duty,” he said. “Basically, you would remain in close proximity to the band on a regular basis. There will be shifts, of course, so you can sleep and have days off. But it’s mostly you and them, all day every day.”

Red nodded. “Cool, cool, cool. Sounds good.”

“If we decide you need a partner, one will be assigned,” Barnes continued. “You can request one if you feel this job is better suited to two or more agents. As always, you can call in the standby team at any point if you need backup or an evacuation. Understand?”

“Yep.”

“That all sound good?”

“Yep.”

“Any questions?”

“Nope.”

“Great, let’s go,” Barnes said, standing up. He walked around the desk and put his hand out to Red.

“Right now?” Red asked, rising clumsily to her feet. “We’re going to the band right now?”

“Yes,” Barnes said. “Is that a problem?”

“Uh, no, no,” Red said, trying to think if there was anything she needed to do or get or plan to say before she met the band, but her head was empty. “Let’s do it,” she said, putting her hand in Barnes’.

Without any further hesitation, Barnes jumped them both directly into Serpent Teeth’s recording studio, causing the members of the band to jump with a start.

“Jesus, man,” It was the singer, Benji Mikes, who spoke; Red recognized him instantly. He put a hand over his chest. “I thought you said the whole… interdimensional travel thing was supposed to be on the DL? What if our producer had been in here?”

Barnes more or less ignored this comment. “I would like to introduce you to your new protection agent, Red. Red, this is Benji, Kimi, Jimi, and Harley, but you already know that. Red is a big fan. This will most likely be long term, so just imagine her as your fifth member of the band who doesn’t play any instruments.” Barnes turned to Red. “You’ve got it from here, I just wanted to introduce you to the band. Don’t hesitate to call for backup if you need it.”  

With that, Barnes disappeared. Red feigned a casual confidence as she turned to the band.

“Uh, yeah, so, just do what you would normally do. You can just ignore me, or whatever. I’ll just, like, hang out over here.”

“So you’re a fan?” Benji asked.

“Yeah! Yeah, I’m, um, really into your music, yeah. But I’m not gonna be weird, I promise.”

“That’s awesome,” Benji said. “It would suck if you hated our band. So, we’re working on new music right now, and it’s really important that everything we do here, stays in here. You can’t, like, record anything, or…”

“Oh! I’m not an asshole.” Red waved him off. “You don’t need to worry about me leaking anything. Seriously, I don’t even listen to leaks when they happen. Sometimes a band will leak their own material on purpose and I won’t even listen to it.”

With that assurance, the band got back to work. Red sat off to the side. For as much time as she spent scrolling through her phone, she subtly watched the band work. Often she had her phone up with the screen off, just so it didn’t look like she was staring.

At one point, Benji and Jimi got hung up trying to work out a bridge on guitar, and Kimi set down her bass and wandered over to where Red was sitting.

“Hey, so…” Kimi sat down on an amp. “Just you, huh?”

“Uh, yeah,” Red said, somewhat uncertainly.

“It’s just that… your people always had two, um, agents… on us, before.”

“Yeah, that’s normally the case, but I’m as good as two people,” Red shrugged. “So they just put me on.”

Kimi stared at her for a moment, trying to tell if Red was being serious. She then shifted uncomfortably and leaned forward a bit, as if sharing sensitive information.

“We, uh… saw you in the hospital. Or, whatever it was. The infirmary. You…” Kimi trailed off, unsure of how to get to her point without being insensitive.

“Looked pretty gross?” Red offered.

“You looked like you lost the fight pretty badly.”

Red sat back in her chair, resisting the urge to fold her arms across her chest. “I didn’t – I didn’t – I mean… My pack survived. The – the people I was in charge of protecting. I got them out alive, so I didn’t lose.”

“Okay, well, that’s good, but… look, there’s four of us and one of you. Plus, these – these… hostiles? That’s what you guys call them? When they showed up before with the other agents, they were always in groups. So–”

“Groups of how many?” Red cut her off.

“Um,” Kimi thought about it. “Like, three or four?”

Red shrugged. “Easy.”

Benji and Jimi were still riffing, but Harley had walked over and set their drum seat down beside Kimi.

“You sound pretty confident for someone who almost got got,” Harley said.

“I already said that,” Kimi mumbled to them. “But I phrased it nicer.”

Red couldn’t help but roll their eyes. “Look, I got those people out alive, okay? Plus I got fancy weapons upgrades since then. And if shit really goes sideways, there’s a team on standby who can be here instantly. I’m just the main person who’s going to be on your guard all the time. And I can handle a few Reapers.”

“Yeah, what exactly are those?” Harley asked. “No one’s done a very good job of explaining it. Besides, like, guys with big knives who want to stab us and steal our souls.”

Red rocked her head from side to side. “Well, that’s pretty accurate.”

“Yeah, but like…” Harley folded their arms, looked at Kimi and then back at Red. “What the fuck is that?”

“That guy Barnes said we have, um, strong souls or something?” Kimi added.

“Well,” Red took a deep breath. “Everyone has a life force energy. Whether or not you want to call them souls… is a separate issue. But we’ve all got something, right, that’s like a battery. And some people’s are, uh, stronger, like you said. And that can attract unwanted attention. Apparently you all have, I guess, above average levels, and with all of you in one place all the time… it’s a big score.”

“A big score?” Harley echoed.

“Yeah, the Reapers sell the, uh, souls, or whatever you want to call them,” Red explained. “They can be used like a power source. I mean, it’s illegal basically everywhere, but… multiverse black market, I guess. Lucrative business. But X-Caliber extradites them so they can go to space jail. That’s a joke; these are alternate dimensions, not alien planets.”

“So you guys are cops?” Harley asked, a hint of disdain just below the surface in their voice.

“Oh, fuck no,” Red scoffed. “I’m exactly as advertised – personal security.”

Kimi leaned back and folded her arms. She and Harley exchanged a look. At the same time, the door opened. Three men walked into the room, glancing around, trying to look like they belonged. Red watched them as Kimi spoke up again.

“I don’t know. It’s just, why don’t they just have another agent on our case? I mean–”

“Hey, do you know those guys?” Red interrupted.

Kimi and Harley looked over for the first time.

“Mm, no,” Kimi said. She glanced and Harley, who shook their head.

“Okay, well, I’m probably about to prove myself then,” Red said as she stood up. She walked up to the men with a smile on her face. “Hi! Can I help you guys?”

The man in front looked at her for a second, then reached behind him and pulled out a large knife. There was a glass orb where the blade met the hilt, surrounded by curved spikes protruding forward. As the man thrust forward, Red caught his wrist and twisted his arm, wrenching it with enough force for the man to bend forward and lose his grip on the knife. Red kicked it out of the way, and the blade skittered across the floor to be lost between amps and equipment. She sent a strong kick to the side of the man’s knee and it bent sideways with a crack. The man screamed and dropped to the ground. Red jumped and spun in the air, ending with a kick to the man’s head.

The other two men had drawn their knives and were moving on Red. One of them stabbed forward, but Red caught his arm. The other was closing in, so Red flicked her fingers on her left hand. A translucent pink dome appeared around the third man. He pushed against it, but couldn’t break through.

Red’s attention was brought back to the opponent in front of her when he drove his fist into her ribs. She let out a gasp of pain, but immediately threw her elbow into the side of his head before he could get another hit in. Red swept his leg, knocking him to the ground, while keeping her hold on his wrist. She pulled his arm down and drove her knee up. The man yelled and dropped the knife. Red slammed her boot down on it and shattered the glass. She then brought her boot down on the man’s sternum, knocking the wind out of him.

“Don’t get up,” she growled as she dropped his arm. The man curled up on his side.

Red turned to the last hostile. He looked ready to fight as soon as the forcefield came down. Red focused on her right hand, hanging slightly open at her side, until she felt the cool metal of a gun in her palm. She raised it, steadying her stance, and pointed it at the man.

“Get on your knees,” Red commanded.

The man hesitated.

“Get. On your knees. Now. When that shield comes down, you’re not going to be faster than I am.”

The man lowered himself to one knee, then the other.

“Good,” Red said. “When I take the shield down, I want you to throw the knife away, and then put your hands behind your head. Understand?”

The man nodded once.

“Okay. If you try anything, you will get shot.”

With a flex of her hand, the forcefield disappeared.

“Toss the knife,” Red ordered.

The man tossed the knife across the room and slowly put his hands behind his head. The whole time, he had Red fixed with a cold stare.

Red kept the gun trained on the man with one hand and reached for her walkie talkie with the other.

“Barnes,” she spoke into it, “we’ve got one unconscious and two disarmed.”

Red only lowered her gun when Barnes arrived with the clean-up team and someone moved to put the man in handcuffs. The weapon returned to a default ring on her finger.

“His knife’s over there,” Red gestured. She watched the other conscious man be put in handcuffs as well. That left the first one she had fought – the one she had kicked in the head. Red walked over to him. Nervously, she pressed her fingers to his throat. Finding a pulse, she breathed a sigh of relief. She really did not want to make a bad first impression with Serpents Teeth by murdering someone in front of them.

Red gave Barnes a brief rundown of the events, knowing she would have to fill out a report later. He and the team left with the hostiles while Red was still searching for the knife she had kicked away. When she found it, she brought it over to the band.

“This is a reaper’s knife,” she explained. “When a person gets stabbed with this, their soul – or, whatever you want to call it – is extracted into this orb here. You know in Harry Potter when they say that a dementor’s kiss doesn’t kill you, but it’s a fate worse than death? We don’t know if that’s true because the extraction process is fatal.”

The band stared at the knife, then at her.

“Because you get stabbed in the chest with a big-ass knife,” Red elaborated.

“And that just almost happened to us?” Jimi asked.

“Well, I wouldn’t say almost,” Red said. “Because I was here. So. I wasn’t going to let it happen.”

“You just took out three guys!” Benji exclaimed like he was suddenly coming to his senses. “On your own! Three grown-ass men! What the fuck! That was… that was amazing!”

A smile spread across Red’s face, and she could feel her cheeks beginning to match her name.

“Uh, ha, yeah, like I was saying,” Red nodded to Kimi and Harley. “I’m a goddamn superhero.”

[next]

[insxghtt]

the rage of a mother III — aemond targaryen x reader

When the whole kingdom believed you were mad, Aemond was there. And he would do anything to defend you.

warnings: grieve, violence, angst, blood, death, ptsd, this is some sad shit.

my masterlist.

previous chapter in here. ya’ll asked for part 3 so here it is! idk how many parts this will have but i like it and i hope you do too. again, english is not my first language so i’m sorry if you find any mistakes here.

It’s been two days since your child was taken from you. Aemond tried his best to convince you to get some sleep, but you just couldn’t. Every time you closed your eyes, you saw the black smoke on the form of a woman in front of you.

You tried to run to your baby before the witch, but it was too late. She took your little girl’s soul away. Now, you felt like she took yours too in the process, the only difference was that she left you to live without it.

Aemond took a look at you from the corner of his eye. You were across the room, sitting on a chair in front of the fireplace. He stood from the bed and walked to you, ready to say the same words he has been saying for the last couple days. ‘Please, y/n, come to bed. You need to sleep.’ All that effort only for you to ignore him.

But this time, when he got closer, he heard the sound of your voice.

“Aemma, Aemma, Aemma...”, you repeated the name of your daughter over and over again. “I’m here, my girl. Mommy’s here.”

Your gaze was on the fire. It was like the flames were calling you.

Aemond called your name once, but you didn’t answer.

“Aemma, Aemma...”

He took his hand to your shoulder and that simple touch was enough for you to flinch. You looked at him with wide eyes, filled with tears. Your dark circles made your tiredness very clear. You seemed so... broken.

He tried to say something, but you took your finger to your lips, telling him to be quiet. With the other hand, you held his wrist tight. “Can you hear it?”, you whispered. “Aemma is crying.”

Aemond gulped. The only sound in the room was your own voice. He remembered the rumors that ran around the castle. ‘She is insane.’

“My love, look at me”, he said and kneeled in front of you to look you in the eyes. “Aemma is not here anymore.”

To say it out loud was as painful as a stab on the heart, but he couldn’t stand to see the love of his life like that. You had to understand. Losing you would be too much for him to handle.

“Listen to me, y/n, she is gone now”, he repeated and let a tear fall. “I know you want her here, but we need to let her go.”

“Why do I hear her then?”, you cried, finally staring at him. “Am I cursed too? Have the gods not taken enough from me?”

He had no words. There were no words to make you feel better. All he did was wrap his arms around your fragile body and let you cry.

After that night, you never talked about your daughter again. In fact, you spent three days without saying anything at all. Aemond was there, just like he promised.

Some nights were difficult. You’d wake up sweating and scared. The first time it happened he asked you about the nightmares, but soon he realized how much you hated to talk about it.

You tapped his shoulder once again in the middle of the night with tears streaming down your cheeks. It didn’t take more than a minute for him to wake up. “Again?”, he asked.

You nodded without saying a word. Aemond wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you close, putting his face in the crook of your neck and you snuggled into his warm arms.

“Will it pass?”, you whispered, not even knowing if he was still awake.

He didn’t know the answer. How could he? It was hurting him just as much. The worst part was that he didn’t even know how to feel that kind of pain. Aemond never liked to feel things. For a long time, all he felt was anger. And when you met him and gave him a daughter, the two of you became his world. For the first time, he had lost someone he loved. It was way more painful than losing an eye.

“It will get better”, he answered. At least that was what he hoped for.

When the morning came, you prayed that he wouldn’t have to leave the bed. You knew that as soon as he did, both of you would have to deal with the reality. But your prayers were not enough and the sun reached your face. The birds were singing so beautifully that it didn’t even seem like there was a war going on.

Except that this time, you were the first to get up. Aemond grumbled something when he felt your warm body leaving his arms, but still, it was not enough to wake him up.

After everything you heard people saying about you, avoiding the maids became part of your routine. So, you got dressed by yourself. The last thing you needed was for them to create more rumors about your mental state.

You left your chambers after putting your gown on, without even bothering to braid your hair. For the first time since the loss of your daughter, you decided to walk a little around the garden outside the castle. It was still early and not many people were there. The weight on your shoulder begged you to go back to bed, but you were trying. Aemond needed you to be alright.

Hours went by and you didn’t even notice. The white daisies were doing a good job by making you forget about the pain inside of you. They were as beautiful as always. You wondered if Aemma would love them just as much as you did.

The sound of steps in your direction made you look away from the flowers. Ser Criston Cole was standing there, holding his helmet in one of his hands.

“My princess”, he said.

You never liked him. He might’ve been a good teacher to Aemond and a friend to Alicent, but you saw him as who he really was. An insecure and selfish man. You kept it to yourself, but it was inevitable not to feel uncomfortable in his presence.

“What do you want?”, you didn’t care to be polite. You were too exhausted to be polite, especially to someone like Ser Criston.

“There is someone who wishes to see you, my princess.”

“What? Are you a messenger now?”, you rolled your eyes and began to walk away. “Tell them I'm busy.”

“I was told that it’s really important.”

You stopped walking and turned to him once again. “Maybe you should call someone else then. I am sure you don’t want a mad woman like me to get involved in something so important.”

“I was sent to call only you, princess. Your presence is required.”

Ser Criston Cole did not seem happy to say those words. It was obvious for you to see how much he despised you, though you never quite understood why.  But he knew very well why you bothered him so much. You were not weak like an ideal princess should be. You never cared about what others said about you. You were ambitious. You reminded him of someone.

Without a word, you followed him around the caste until you got to the Iron Throne. Aegon was not there, but Alicent, Otto Hightower and Aemond were. The absence of the King’s presence did not surprise you. Aegon was usually excluded from the family’s reunions. Otto Hightower was the one who made the important choices, no matter how unfair it was to Aegon.

“I’m surprised you bothered to summon me to a family meeting", you said to Alicent.

Aemond sighed. He knew that you and his mother never loved each other. Your marriage was only accepted because King Viserys still lived to allow it. If it was up to her, you would’ve never stepped a foot in King’s Landing. But it seemed to him that things were just getting worse every day.

“If it were up to me, I would have let you rest. I know how hard these last few days have been for you, my lady”, she faked a sympathetic smile. “But a... friend from Dragonstone has arrived with news I believe you should hear.”

The guards opened the doors behind you and you turned around to see a man walking in, carried by two more guards. He looked terrible, to say the least. His eye was so swollen that you couldn’t even stand to look at it for too long. His lip was cut and blood dripped down his chin, staining his torn, old shirt. He fell to the ground as soon as the men dropped him, so week and scared that it made you look away. Your gaze turned to your husband. He stared at the poor man with no pity.

“Can you repeat to the princess what you told prince Aemond, traitor?”, Otto asked the man.

The traitor looked at the prince scared. And right then, you knew that Aemond was responsible for that man’s torture.

“Rhaenyra Targaryen...”, the man spoke with a low voice.

“Louder. And look at your princess when you speak, bastard”, Aemond said with anger in his voice.

The man did as he was told, trying his best not to stutter. “Rhaenyra Targaryen has been working with the shadows, my princess.”

Suddenly, your eyes were filled with tears from anger and hate. You told them. You told everyone and nobody but your husband believed your words.

“How?”, you asked.

“The witch of the woods, my princess...”

“Her name. I want her name.”

“Please, my princess... I was cursed...”, he begged, but you did not have a single drop of mercy in your heart now. “I cannot say her name... her gods will come for me”

You surprised everyone by stealing Ser Criston’s sword. He tried to stop you, but you were quicker and walked to the traitor, pointing the sword to his neck. “You will give me her name or I'll kill you so slowly that you will beg for her gods to take you.”

He continued to look at you quietly, crying and sobbing. You did not feel anything. Because of the witch those gods, whoever they were, took your daughter.

You could hear her crying. Was she scared?

You lowered the sword and the man breathed relieved. That was, until he heard your next words. “Take him to the dungeon.”

He looked at the guards terrified while they took him by the arms, raising him from the ground. He begged again for your mercy, but you didn’t even look at him.

“I will speak to him”, you said and looked at your husband. “Alone.”

part IV

taglist (dm me or send me an ask to be added): @hydrationqueensworld​ 

[bangtanficsforyou]

Crushed- Ch (02)

Pairing: Jimin x Reader

Au: Friends to idk what

Genre: Angst, some fluff.

Ratings: 18+

Words: 2.3K

Warnings: mentioned in each chapter

Summary: Your coworker and best friend Jimin is everyone's favourite and for good reason. He's sweet, charming, caring, kind, humble, polite, ha– well shit. There you go making it obvious yet once again, that you're in love with him. But it's all good as long as he remains oblivious right? Wrong. After overthinking for a whole month, you decide to confess and things take an unexpected turn.

Main Masterlist | Previous

Dear Diary,

I don't know what to do. Tomorrow, I'll be meeting Jimin again and I just don't know how to behave around him, anymore. I thought three days of not seeing him would help me figure out what to do about the situation but unfortunately, that's not the case.

In the three days' time, all I have done is to stalk Jimin's Instagram but when staring at him became too painful, I moved to Rachel's insta. Another stupid move, might I say. Her recent insta updates let me know that she and Jimin spent their Sunday with each other. I assume it was their first date but even then, one could see how bright her smile was, and how happy she looked around him. If that wasn't enough, Jimin was laughing and giggling with his eyes crinkling in the corners.

Those pictures and clips made me wonder what it would feel like to be in her place, to be on the receiving end of Jimin's fond giggle, for him to smile like that because of me and at me because even though he has no idea, he makes me smile like that, like a fool, as if nothing else matters but him.

Perhaps, I was too much of a fool. That's exactly why I feel so pathetic now. I feel so stupid for ever entertaining the thought of him liking me back. It possibly wouldn't hurt so much had I not expected him to return my feelings. But it is what is. It's no one's fault. Jimin can like whoever he wishes to and the same goes for me. I chose him. He chose someone else. That's the difference.

Despite that, I need to keep my emotions at bay. I can't let him know of the pain I have been in, in recent days. I need to be the Y/N he knows, the one who is his best friend, which would admittedly require a whole lot of acting. Because every time I think of him, I just feel this longing and heartbreak. I can only imagine, what it would be like to be seeing him and to be in his presence. Nevertheless, thank you for being my safe place where I can rant without any worry because the other person who used to be my safe space, is the one I'm currently ranting about lol.

"You have not replied to my texts and have not answered my calls." Monday is here and so is Jimin. After your failed attempt at confessing, you had taken a few days off so that you don't have to face him. But alas, your day-offs were gone and here you are.

You do not bother looking up from your computer. To anyone, it would seem like you're being nonchalant but that's far from the truth. Only you can tell the way your heart shrinks and your stomach churns having Jimin sit right next to you but feeling as if he's far, far away.

"I'm sorry, I haven't had the time, was busy with work." You chew on your lower lip to give the faux impression that you're concentrating really hard on the numbers on your screen.

Jimin, either is just plain rude or doesn't buy your act, for he places a hand under your seat and swirls the chair such that you're now facing him.

Fucking wheels. You curse in your brain not even caring about how absurd it is to get mad at wheels and that to of those of a chair's.

When your eyes meet Jimin's, you immediately notice the seriousness in his orbs. Well, shit.

"Care to explain?" He asks again, his brows furrowed in a stern expression.

"I told you, I was–"

"I don't buy that bullshit." He cuts you off, vehemently shaking his head. "You've never done this before, you've always replied to my texts no matter how busy work has gotten. Do you even know how worried I was?"

It sure didn't seem so. The petty voice in your head mutters.

"Nothing, I was just tired, trust me." Trying to make him believe that you're being genuine, you also smile at him, hoping he somehow buys it.

Jimin does not buy it.

After you had left lunch abruptly, he had his suspicions about something being wrong. However, he had not paid much attention to it, for he entertained the thought that it might really have been some important duty call. You had an important meeting that day, which although you were done with, there can always be extra documents that one needs to go through or sometimes needs to mail them to some higher authorities. Jimin had shrugged off his concerns for he thought he was just overthinking or over observing.

His concerns however returned, when you did not answer his calls and texts. Because heck, in the span of three years that he has known you, you had never done that before. To say that he was worried would be an understatement.

On the second day that you had gone without any contact, he was ready to go to your place. He however didn't, when he found that you had checked his stories. That was some sort of reassurance that you are okay and probably haven't fainted in your apartment or any of the terrible scenarios that his mind had come up with.

Which had finally made him come to the conclusion that there was something up with you. Even if he had any doubts about it, they were now gone because your whole body language is stiff and closed off. Why, he has no idea.

The side of your face burns from how intensely Jimin keeps staring. Feeling your hands get clammy, you blurt out the first thing that comes to your mind, in hopes of getting rid of the awkward silence. "How did your date with Rach go?"

You instantly regret the question. It must be because of how a sadistic part of you wanted to know the details. A sadistic part, which wants to know it from him, in his words.

Your question however, has the desired effect as it seems to deflect his attention. The frown on his features soften and his lips quirk up. "It was great, might as well have been the best date I have been on."

You shoot him another smile, another attempt at making him believe that you are being genuine. "You were not nervous?"

This time, Jimin does buy it. "I was surprisingly not, because it wasn't supposed to be a date." Noticing the questioning look on your face, he elaborates further. "I was just telling her about how you have not been replying to my texts and how worried I was. I had probably ranted so much that she ended up advising that I needed to be out and breathe in some fresh air. Which somehow ended up with us going out and having dinner together."

You hum, biting the inside of your cheek as you look at him and try your best to maintain your smile.

"You know the best part? There was no awkward silence." Jimin continues and you can sense that this is going to turn into a ramble.

You can only imagine, how long Jimin has been waiting, to tell you all this. A part of you thinks it would have been better had you been in touch with him via texts, because you know for sure, that he would have hit you with long texts describing every single detail and in that way, you at least wouldn't have to force yourself to smile even when you feel your heart silently break for the nth time in the span of five days.

"There's something very soothing about her. Her company just makes you kind of forget all about your worries. Unlike, how most first dates are, it was very relaxing and chill."

"So, it made you forget about me?" You chuckle but when you notice Jimin's smile fade, you realise that it might not have been the right thing to say. "I was joking, relax."

Jimin's frown remains in place and you feel scared of him easily reading you. Thankfully, a voice calling for Jimin's name is what makes him move his eyes from you.

"Can you update these numbers? I've checked them and they just need to be uploaded." Taehyung, says as he approaches where the two of you're sitting.

Jimin nods absentmindedly. "Yeah, sure." With that, he steals one last glance at you and leaves.

The moment he leaves, you feel like you can finally breathe. Fuck, acting is kind of difficult.

You look up to meet eyes with Tae only to find him winking at you and he mutters a small thank me later before he leaves as well.

The interaction has you contemplating if you were being that obvious with how uncomfortable and congested you were feeling. If that's the case then you think Jimin also might have noticed it. Which can explain his reaction to those stupid words that you had muttered.

So, it made you forget about me.

What were you thinking before you made that comment?

You'd be honest, you had not given much thought before you had said those words but now that you think of it, you wished for Jimin to have not enjoyed his date. It's selfish you know. Despite that, a part of you desperately wanted for the scenario to be different. You wished that even in her soothing presence, Jimin was worrying about you. That he did not just forget about you because he was with her.

You know he did not exactly mean that but the cynical part of you believes that the amount of fondness he feels for her is greater than the amount of worry he has for you.

It's pathetic to think that way, you know but maybe you just needed some sort of reassurance from Jimin. You know he does not owe it to you but his words did more damage than good.

"That was intense." A voice quips, causing you to blink back to reality.

"Huh?" You ask, the words not registering in your brain.

"I said, that was intense." Yoongi repeats from where he stands on the other side of your cubicle with his head resting on top of the partition.

"What was?" Genuinely confused, you frown.

He scoffs. "You and Jimin. I could feel the tension through the partition."

Your eyes go wide. "You were eavesdropping?"

He shrugs casually. "More like it was unavoidable."

You were being obvious.

"Damn, I made it obvious didn't I?" Hating the idea of it, you hope Jimin does not come to conclusions.

"Just as obvious as the day."

"You don't even try to sugarcoat it." Grumbling, you lean back into your chair.

"I don't sugarcoat it but I can sugacoat it." He retorts with a serious expression.

"You're hanging too much with Jin aren't you?" You squint your eyes and move the mouse cursor haphazardly all over the screen.

"I'd have you know my jokes are way better than Jin's, so, in case you're implying that his company has affected my humour, you're very wrong." He huffs, clearly offended by your words.

"Debatable." You reply in a beat.

"Yesterday, he went to the grocery store and asked the counter lady why eggs don't make jokes." He begins in order to prove his point.

"Because they'll crack?" You ask in a questioning tone.

"The lady did not bat an eyelash." He deadpans.

".....and Jin was too busy laughing to notice that?"

Yoongi sighs, as if concerned but not surprised by his beloved friend, Jin's behaviour. "The lady looked at me as if asking whether he's okay or not."

The whole scene plays inside your head and you laugh for the first time in what seems like ages. This has happened far too many times for you to find it funny but somehow it never gets old.

Yoongi's lips quirk up when he sees you laugh.

Anyone with eyes could see the love you had for Jimin. Thus, today, when he saw Jimin chatting with this one girl (he has no idea what her name is) while he was coming back from the tea room, he knew something was wrong. It wasn't the chatting, in particular, it was the shy glances, the fond smiles and the subtle touches. His very first thought was that of you and his immediate reaction was that of worry. He wondered if you knew about it or if it would be a heartbreaking surprise for you when you come to work.

The conversation he overhead between you and Jimin answered a few of his queries for sure but it also only caused him to worry more.

Nevertheless, seeing you laugh puts him slightly at ease.

From across the aisle, another pair of eyes watch you. Jimin notices you laugh and sees that your body language is no longer stiff, no longer guarded.

Did Yoongi say something funny? Is that what had gotten you to ease up? Because it can't be that you're all guarded and stiff around him in particular, right? He did not do anything to make you mad. At least nothing that he can think of.

But whatever it is, he needs to figure it out.

Permenent taglist:

@mwitsmejk @hopestastic

[normally-o-a-k]

Hey look a fanfiction

Scam/Jodie

Friends to lovers, multi chapter, barely hurt comfort anymore, no beta we die like Glenn, idk what to tag this I’ve never written fic before lmao, some body horror this chapter (descriptions of a creature that looks like the library)

Rating: it’s still pretty teen.

Chapter 4/?

Previous Chapter:

Absolutely delighted by the suggestion Scam sits back up on the couch. “Truth or dare hmm? Thats a bold choice~ Wouldn’t that be more fun with …. Let’s say one or two more players?” As he counts a blue and pink version of Scam appear on the couch on either side of him.

All three versions of Scam grin and eye Jodie like he’s on the menu.

“Or is it too overwhelming to be… let’s call it ‘outnumbered’ for now~”

Jodie figured he’d have some way of giving himself the advantage, But now faced with three versions of Chaos incarnate his confidence was starting to waver. “It’s fine. I can handle it”

“Oooh! Delightful! Tell me since you’re so brave, are we placing a wager? Perhaps the first to back out owes the other one favor~?” The grin that was spreading across Scam’s face had Jodie’s mouth feeling a bit too dry.

“I’ll take that bet… But one rule, no dares that magically change my life…. Deal?” Like hell he was going to play if he was going to pull something like he did to Ron again.

“Deal~ this is a friendly game, I’m not looking to avenge anyone this time so you can relax~ “ he holds out a slightly too long hand to shake on it and Jodie, who’s starting to think he made a mistake, shakes before he can change his mind. “ Go ahead then you brave boy~ start the game~”

Jodie sits back on the couch trying to feign confidence. “Ok. Truth or dare?”

The original Scam laughs “I believe it was Ron who said dare was the sexier option~ so go ahead! Hit me with your best dare~”

Shit. He’d been hoping for truth so he could get him to admit he’s been messing with him. “I dare you not to use any magic for the rest of the night” Jodie grins right back at Scam.

“Ohhh? Interesting! cut me off then~ These two will disappear on their own anyway~” Scam was enjoying this probably more than Jodie knew. It was rare that someone else initiated anything like this with him.

The pink Scam temples his fingers, smirking at Jodie “Truth or Dare Jodie?”

Jodie weighs his options. He was sure all versions of Scam would target him so he was about to get asked the same thing two more times… “truth.”

“I’ll make it a juicy one then~” Scam Pink laughs, absolutely tickled by the fact that he gets to ask something he’d been curious about “Do you miss being human?”

Jodie frowns Scam would be able to tell if he lied, that much he was sure of… So he’d give him the honest truth “It was me but it wasn’t… I lived in that reality for most of Nickolas’ life… every last memory I have of his childhood is back there in that life… so its natural for me to miss it sometimes isn’t it? I suppose I could just go back to earth if I really wanted to… I could look human again… but Nicky…. He’s not who he used to be either…. So it wouldn’t be the same…it wouldn’t be that peaceful easy life we had as a family no matter what I did… I don’t know that I fully want it to be either… Nicky has both Glenn and I and He likes the freedom of going back and forth… so I’ll just keep working, and spend the time with him that I can…So yeah sometimes I miss it… but I don’t want to go back…”

The expression on every version of Scam sitting across from him softens slightly. The pink one speaks up again, suddenly next to him. “It’s normal to mourn parts of your life that are gone~ you went through big changes after all~” He traces a finger over one of Jodie’s horns as if to make his point in the most flirtatious way possible.

“Yeah well it’s not like I miss the time I spent as the battle axe of hatred and that was a big part of my life too…” he doesn’t pull away when the pink version of Scam wraps an arm around him “you’re probably right though…. wait! you lose, you teleported to this couch!”

A chorus of Scam’s laughter drowns out the jazz music for a moment before they settle back down “That wasn’t magic~ I’m just that fast!”

Any victorious feeling that briefly flashed up inside of Jodie just as quickly fizzled out. “You just get more impressive with everything I learn about you…”

The original Scam just smiles, two of his hands clasping over his heart, another hand fanning himself. “Ohh what a flatterer you are! ‘be still my heart’ and all that~” Though he was sure it was unintentional Scam was enjoying the positive attention he was getting. “It’s my turn! Truth or Dare…. Hmm… I choose Jodie~”

He wasn’t surprised, he’d expected to be chosen every turn. What he hadn’t accounted for was losing half his focus to the Pink Scam who was leaning against him. He figured it was Scam trying to comfort him so he just lets it happen. “Truth”

“Hmm~ I can’t help but feel like you’re trying to take the easy way out~” He laughs and leans back on the couch, crossing his legs. It didn’t matter really to him what Jodie chose, he was having fun playing, but truth afforded him some opportunities he wouldn’t otherwise have. “Are you interested in someone~?”

Shit well, at least he hadn’t asked Jodie to name names. “Yes…. There’s someone that’s got me interested”

“Ohhh? Tell me, is it someone we know?~” Both the blue and purple versions of Scam lean closer. The pink version seemed perfectly comfortable where it was, several hands curled around the arm he was leaning on.

Jodie grins at Scam “one question at a time” and there it was, the last time he could choose truth without being in danger of admitting something. He relaxes a bit knowing what was going to come next.

The blue version of Scam folds his arms “truth or dare! I choose… Scam!”

“What?” Jodie’s mind was racing with a million questions, he had thought these were just copies of Scam, but were they thinking independently? Why would he choose himself? What was he playing at?

“Truth~” he swings one of his legs a bit, all four hands folded in his lap as he keeps his eyes firmly locked on Jodie.

The blue Scam smirks as though he’s got one up on himself “has anyone caught your eye?”

“Ohhh yes~ very much so~! I find him incredibly interesting and it doesn’t hurt at all that he’s so ridiculously good looking~ if only he’d get the hint~!” He doesn’t break eye contact with Jodie, staring him down with intent.

He frowns, everything seemed to suggest it was part of the bit directed at him. But…Scam seemed to take games pretty seriously so he didn’t doubt he was actually just confessing to liking someone. He wonders briefly if any of the other Daddies fit that description. There’s a flash of jealousy when he tries to picture it.

“If he’s not picking up on hints why don’t you just be direct?”

Scam shouldn’t be surprised Jodie was still being so stubbornly oblivious, but really that was as close to an actual confession as he’d gone and it’d still failed. “It might surprise you to hear, but I’m not fond of rejection either~”

“Do… you want help?” Jodie knew realistically that he’d probably have a hard time doing it but he honestly wanted to see Scam happy.

“That’s nice of you to offer but the act of seduction is a game in of itself~ it’s not exactly one you play in teams, though if it was, I would love nothing more to be on your team~” Scam’s smile softens even more.

“Maybe that’s exactly why it isn’t working…? You keep thinking of things in terms of games… but relationships don’t work like that… you are supposed to be a team. You can’t build something long lasting if you both aren’t working together… maybe treat it like that and see if it makes a difference?”

Scam goes quiet biting back the want to insist that he’s actually right, sitting back again on the couch a bit rigidly “I think you might be right~ maybe I’m wrong after all… isn’t that concept a novelty?~ It’s your turn again Jodie!”

“Yeah, uh okay Truth or Dare?” He smiles, this was pretty fun after all.

“Who? Me, me or the other me?” Scam visibly relaxes, laughing.

“You” Jodie laughs too.

“Oh of course~ I choose dare! Give me your worst, handsome~ I can handle it!”

He claps his hands excitedly.

“I dare you to…” shit, he was drawing a blank. Everything his brain was supplying was so juvenile. “Oh! This isn’t it right? So show me what you really look like.”

His eyes widen in surprise. “Oh what an interesting dare! Are you absolutely sure that’s what you want~? It’s not going to be very fun for you”

He shrugs, giving him a smug smile “I thought you said you could handle it. I guess you chicken out then ?”

“Oh no, Not at all! I just don’t want you to have any regrets~” he supposes it was a just matter of time before Jodie saw it and any budding interest he could have had in him fades to nothing. He didn’t actually want to do this, but it was a dare and he wasn’t about to lose. “Will it count against the dare forbidding me from magic? I can’t do both~”

“It’s an exception, come on, don’t try to get out of it with excuses” Jodie had been curious since they’d met and now that he’d dared him he was intent on seeing it.

“If you insist~” his skin starts to bubble, his bones cracking and creaking as his limbs and spine lengthen. His skin pulls tight across the changing bones in his face, several more eyes open below and above the three he’d had already, his jaw spitting into a grin that was wider than his elongated face could accommodate.

Jodie stares up at him, dwarfed by Scam in this form. If he was being honest with himself, this didn’t hinder his attraction to Scam in the least.

The other two versions of Scam are pulled into him, disappearing into the skin of his massively long arms. He moves forward, meter long fingers curling around Jodie’s chest, pinning him against the couch with just one hand. He leans in, face inches from Jodie’s, more then a half dozen eyes locked on him .

Jodie’s heart was pounding in his ears. He could feel a blush spreading over his face “shit…”

Scam could feel his heart racing.

He quickly changes back “Oops~ I guess that was probably a bit much for you huh? It’s been a while since I’ve gotten to let loose like that~! But it’s fine~ Really, who doesn’t prefer a more compact and sexy Scam~?” He laughs, uncomfortable with how quiet Jodie had gotten, leaning close, a significantly smaller hand still planted on the center of Jodie’s chest. His heart rate wasn’t slowing. He must have terrified him.

“You… wow….” Jodie smiles, no hint of fear in his voice, there was however an edge of excitement to his voice that was the last thing he expected out of the demon “damn you’re tall…”

Scam makes no effort to move from his position, Jodie’s genuine smile throwing him for a loop. This, he was sure, was not going to be the last time Jodie would absolutely fascinate him. This was enough to tip the scales for him, no more skirting around what he wanted. His voice practically a purr “Truth or Dare Jodie~”

“Dare…” Jodie’s smile widens a bit.

“Kiss me~ if you’re not a cowar—“

Jodie doesn’t wait for him to finish, closing the distance between them, lips crashing against Scam’s in a desperate open mouth kiss. He reaches up, sliding a hand into Scam’s hair and pulling him closer.

Scam moans into the kiss, closing his eyes and losing himself in it. He’d wanted this for a while and it was everything he’d imagined and more… it wasn’t by any means a good kiss… it was sloppy and desperate… but it was the desperation he found so appealing. The way they both held each other tightly pressed against the other, wanting to somehow kiss harder, to kiss more, a crescendo of feelings they’d both been holding back. Any doubts he had about Jodie feeling something back were gone, no one kisses like this and doesn’t mean it.

[visbabylily]

Violets and Vendettas | Vi x Reader

𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝙾𝚗𝚎 

𝚅𝚒 𝚡 𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛 | 𝙼𝚘𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚗 𝙰𝚞

𝕊𝕦𝕞𝕞𝕒𝕣𝕪 : Stars shine brighter before they die, she should’ve known they will end up with the same tragedy...

𝕎𝕒𝕣𝕟𝕚𝕟𝕘𝕤 : Smoking(I dont condone smoking, but I needed it for the plot, but please dont smoke! it’s not good for ur health!), degrading words?(it’s not really as bad but I feel people might be uncomfortable cause they talked and called the reader being just a “pair of legs to get into”please don’t get too mad), making out, abuse, talks of murder, matured themes, smut if ur young please get off, you won’t like it it’s dirty dirty bad bad, um and what else idk i feel like it’s just really bad Im so sorry 😭

Word count : 2.5k ish, I edited it on my phone so much idk even know anymore

Chapters : {One}, Two, Three, Four,

A/N: I want to thank this really good writer (idk if I can tag her, she’s so nice she probably won’t mind but I don’t wanna trouble her😖) that I have been following, for bending me over the table and spanking my bootycheeks giving me kind words to push myself to even post this😇, she’s a really good writer and I was a fan of her fics so her words alone really had a huge impact on me and was able to give me courage and inspiration to write and post it, so if she ever sees this i hope she doesn’t tho im so shy, Thank you so much ☺️

A/Npt2: Im not a good writer, but I really hope you’ll like it 😭, this isn’t just a one shot btw, there’s going to be more chapters to come, Im also really sorry if it gets too confusing or if I didn’t deliver my words or messages correctly, but Im always open to constructive criticism and will take any advice ☺️thank you! I hope you enjoy! 🥰

═══════════════════════════

Everyone has something they fear, even the strongest ones like herself have something they’re scared of, and when you were young, your parents will tell you stories about the boogeyman, the creature that will haunt you at night if you misbehave, it’s scary, isn’t it?

But see, fear keeps us alive, You’re scared of the boogeyman? Hide under your blanket. It will protect you, but protection comes with a price...weakness, if you keep hiding and running for too long without facing your fears, it’ll never go away and it will make you weak, after all, fear has two meanings...

Will you…Forget everything and run ? or Face everything and rise ?

But she was never scared of the boogeyman tho, she knows she can easily knockdown a coward who only shows himself when it turns dark, but there is something...something she believes is scarier than the boogeyman...she calls him The Spider lily

The man who ruined not just hers but many others life and took everything away from her, the one who put her in prison, a literal hell where she spent every second of her life in a never ending suffering, where she gets hurt and beaten everyday, bruised and bloodied, left to starve in a corner of an isolated cell with nothing but the pain of broken bones keeping her from the sweet escape of sleep

But today arises a chance for her to make everything right, to face her fears, and to put a stop to the Spider lily’s reign of terror over her mind...

The whoots and whistles of inmates as she’s walking out the long hallway annoyed her, it was like a bunch of loud cicadas stuck to the trees like flies, during the annoying summer seasons

“We’ll see you again, sweetheart” The man in uniform towered over her with his big and burly figure, sneering at her face, to which she return with no hesitation

“Next time, I’ll make sure it’s you behind those bars” She tsked at him, glaring, to which he only laughed at, loud ugly laugh and snorts coming out of his mouth, her lips frowning in disgust

“We’ll see about that” The guy replied back, roughly shoving her items in her chest, she grunted a little because of the box hitting her sore and bruised ribs, she didnt say anything and left

“Thank you for staying in Lemmein Prison, we hoped you enjoyed your stay, Vi” The guy yelled at her with a mocking tone as she’s walking out, welcoming the heavy drops of water that the dark looming sky provided, she looked up and embraced the rain, letting it soak her clothing, the cold seeping through her bones, she gave the guy her middle finger as reply

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

She likes to party, the feeling of vibrations coming out of the booming speakers, traveling through her legs and shaking her chest from the inside, the loud music, the crowd, it all drowns out her thoughts, and she feels the most free during it

The pretty boys and girls and the drinks were just a bonus…

Her eyes stung as the heavy smoke of cigarettes wafting through the air assaults her eyes, she surveyed the area some more, despite the heavy pouring of the rain, the small club was packed with people, ranging from young to old, to men and women

“Out of all the people here today, no one interesting bothered to show up?” She mumbled to some of her friends, her eyes catching the sight of a group of college frat boys looking at her, lightly shoving each other and pointing at her direction

“...gross” she mumbled rolling her eyes and turning away from them, not wanting to give them even a second of her time, her friend slap her arm lightly to which she yelped at and held the attacked arm, turning her attention to her attacker

“Y/N Oh my lord, You’re such a party-pooper, come on everyone here is literally looking at you, why be so picky ?” her friend Judy, said, her dark skin glistening under the spinning disco ball, beautiful tight braids bouncing on every sway of her body, the tips ghosting over her curves

“Im not being picky” She pouted to which one of her friends, Olivia laughed at, sweeping her ironed bleach blonde hair off her shoulders, mesmerizing blue eyes on Y/N, who was now rubbing her arm

“Oh come on, what’s new?” Olivia chuckled before pausing and taking a sip of her alcoholic drink, “she’s like, allergic to men” she finished

“Im not allergic to men, they’re just...not my type” she said, the last part coming out as a mumble, Olivia scoffed at her

“Why tho? they’re like totally hot” She said, turning to look at the boys and giving them a tiny wave to which they returned, Y/N just shook her head and went back to looking around the busy club, not at all interested at the ‘totally hot’ boys Olivia was now getting accustomed to

Her eyes danced around the mingling people some more, and just like the time when Moses parted the red sea, the people around suddenly parted away from each other, giving her eyes passage to land her gaze on the lone person sitting at the bar stool, a glass of straight whiskey in her bandaged right hand the left patting and searching the pockets of her red jacket looking for something to light the stick in between her lips 

Smiling to herself, she walked out the little table her friends was sat in “Hey where are you going?” Judy called out to her

But it all fell onto deaf ears as her heel clad legs walked towards the hooded girl, a guy walked towards her, trying to meet her in the middle but her peripherals were slowly closing in and forming a tunnel vision directly towards at the red jacket girl, she easily dodged the guy with a swerve to her left, to which she almost bump into a guy, and without even sparing him a glance, she grabbed the guy’s lighter out of his hands, in the middle of lighting his cigarette

“Hey!” he exclaimed, surprise written on his face as he stared longingly at the beautiful girl walking in sync with the beat of the song…and his stolen lighter 

The hooded girl was still searching her pocket, a frown now on her face, Y/N swiftly sat on the stool next to the girl, outstretching her arms, and clicking the lighter open, small fire coming out of the opening 

“Need a light hottie?” Y/N asked, smirking slightly, making sure to show off her barely covered shoulders, hips slightly jutted out, enhancing her curves even more, the troubled girl abruptly turned towards her, cold blue-gray eyes looking at her cheeky face and her offered hand...

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

Vi was thankful that even after all the time she was gone, her friend has never forgotten about her, nor change his number, but out of all the places they could’ve met up, she didnt expect for his friend to led her to a club, reluctantly she sighed and went in 

The old classic, Dangerous by Kardinal Offishall featuring Akon was the first thing that greet her when she walked in, the booming music ringing in her ears, making her wince, she walked towards the bar stool, pushing people out of the way and bumping into them as she weaved her way through the packed crowd 

“Whiskey. Straight” She nodded to the bartender, who immediately started making her ordered drink, after mere seconds, a glass of whiskey and an ashtray was left in front of her 

She grabbed the glass and took a sip, leaving the bitter and strong taste of alcohol as she gulped it down her throat, she then reached for her jacket, taking out the mushed pack of cigarettes 

Menthols really? she thought to herself as she remembered the guy she had to put to sleep, maybe even a hospital, just to get ahold of the red jacket, she shook her head and searched inside the pockets for a lighter 

And no lighter too are you serious? she thought once again, getting grumpy the longer she searched inside, she was lost in her own thoughts and adventures of finding something to ignite the death stick hanging from her lips that she didnt see the girl walking straight towards her

“Need a light hottie?” A voice called out to her, surprising her and making her turn around to face the sweet call, her eyebrow raised at the sight she was blessed with, a beautiful girl, hips jutted out, bare shoulders in full display for her, and manicured hands offering her a lighter, the fire slightly swaying from the soft wind, threatening to die out, the girl was simply beautiful and Vi didnt need her eyes to see that, Vi never really had that much of a sweet tooth but right now, she cant help but crave for one the longer the girl stood in front of her, like a piece of candy waiting to be enveloped by her tongue

Slowly, she leaned her face in the girl’s direction, getting the cigarette close to the fire, never taking her eyes off of the girl, who subtly bit her bottom lip, Vi stared at her for a few moments, studying the way she seemed to be in some sort of a trance, she took a puff of the cigarette and blew the remaining smoke she couldnt inhale into her lungs, out in the open air

“So, you come here often?” The girl asked, Vi watching her shove the lighter in a guy’s chest without even looking at him, who seemed to grumble at the fact that the beautiful girl wasnt paying him attention any time soon 

She took another puff before speaking “No, I just got out of prison” Vi replied, the girl’s eyes squint a little bit, a small smirk forming on her red painted lips

“Oh? what for?” The girl asked, mistaking Vi’s honesty as a flirting method, she tucked her (H/C) colored hair behind her ears, before leaning in close towards Vi, who returned the gesture, hovering her lips just above the girl’s and whispered sensually “Murder” 

The girl pulled back a little, eyes a little wide and wary, glass of (E/C) looking over her, studying her 

“Do you introduce yourself to people like that often, or ?” She chuckled nervously, Vi noticed the fiery confident woman flickering away, slowly molding into a more flustered and cautious one the longer Vi let the the silence linger, she smirked, watching the girl visibly gulp

She didnt know what happened, in a span of mere seconds, they were in an alleyway, outside the club, under someone’s small balcony, acting as a roof and shielding the from the heavy downpour, shoving her lips onto the girl’s mouth, who returned it with much fervor, it surprised Vi, she couldnt believe that the girl was willingly letting a possible murderer’s tongue wander around her mouth like this, maybe the girl finds the fact that she might’ve killed someone hot or whatnot, but Vi couldnt think straight as she delved in deeper, loosing herself in the warm embrace of her plump and painted lips

Vi broke away from the kiss, sinking her lips onto the girl’s neck, licking and leaving bite marks on it, the intoxicating aroma of her sweet floral perfume rushing through her nostrils, infecting her mind and sending her to an overdrive as her hands slowly slid the strap of her dress off of her shoulders, not enough to fully get her chest naked but enough to have her shoulders exposed to Vi’s indelicate attacks, greedy hands now wandering and groping her body, smaller hands then comb through her wet pink hair as the girl released an enticing moan when Vi nipped at her collarbone drowning out the noisy bustling of the streets and Paul Anka’s Put your head on my shoulders softly playing in the background 

Vi kept kissing the girl, switching from her lips to her neck, she didnt know what she was doing, maybe being in prison for long years made her so touch starved that she was ready to jump and devour the first woman she lays her eyes on, but she wasnt ready to stop just yet, she’ll regret it later but for now she decided to bless herself with the woman’s grace

It wasnt until a someone softly bumped into her that she managed to get out of the girl’s hypnotizing hold over her, all of her actions stopped and the girl seemed to have noticed 

“What’s wrong?” The girl asked, trying to look into Vi’s eyes, who has her face buried in the girl’s shoulder

“I-I have to go” She mumbled into her shoulder, giving it one last peck before pushing herself off of her and into the pouring rain

“What? wait!” The girl chased after her, pushing her straps back in place before taking ahold of her stolen jacket making Vi stopped in her tracks to face her, both of them now standing under the rain 

“so that’s it? you just…cop a feel then leave when you feel like it?” The girl asked, lipstick-smothered lips now pulled into a frown 

“Maybe next time, if we meet again” Vi replied, big hands gently grasping her chin, her thumb playing with her bottom lip, the girl didnt take kindly to this and snatched her face away from Vi’s gentle hold, mumbling “...asshole” as she walked away, hailing a cab and driving off into the dark and rainy night…

“You definitely would’ve fucked the girl if I didnt stop you” Vi heard a voice grumbled from behind her

“Yes I would, thanks for ruining my night” Vi said, turning around to face the guy, light hair contrasting against his dark skin, exchanging stare with his warm brown eyes which now glints with mischief

“Wow what a horndog, you get out of prison and the first thing you looked for is a pair of legs to dive into” The guy said, smirking at her to which Vi rolled her eyes at, she walked closer towards him, arms outstretched, pulling him into a hug 

“I missed you, little man” 

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

“What an asshole, urgh! God, this is why you dont trust pretty faces, especially those attached to a hot bod” Y/N mumbled to herself as she got inside the cab, wet bodycon dress sticking uncomfortably to her skin, the cold of the rain making her shiver as the air conditioning of the cab touch her goose-bumped skin

“Where to Ma’am?” the driver asked 

“Sunrise Avenue please, Hurricane Street, Katrina building” She mumbled and the cab took off, she leaned against the window of the cab as it drives into the seemingly never-ending rain 

The drive back to her house didnt take long, before she lost herself to her thoughts too much the bright lights coming out from her building’s windows greeted her, she got off the car and paid the driver

Y/N walked inside and felt the warmth from the heater rushed to hug her cold shaking body, she walked towards the elevator, the operator opening the doors for her 

“Which floor ma’am?” He asked, smiling politely at her 

“top floor, please” she said and the operator pushed the button for the penthouse-apartment located at the very top of the 24 story building 

They arrived at a short moment, the operator held the door open for her, “here we are, Ma’am” he said to which she replied a quiet “thanks” she walked out the elevator and was immediately greeted by her giant front doors, the big looming doors intimidating her, she sighed and pushed the door open, getting inside and heading straight for the shower 

She sighed to herself once again as she washed her body, fingers hovering over where the red-jacket girl’s lips have been, caressing the red marks forming on her neck and collarbones, the evidence of her unfortunate night

“What were you thinking?” She asked herself, looking at her own (E/C) staring back at her in the mirror as she continued to wash away, “...stupid, stupid Y/N” she let out a heavy sigh, letting the water softly ran through her body, the droplets rolling in between her cleavage, reminding her of the feeling of the rain as she stood and stared at the cold gaze of the hooded girl…

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

After getting out of her very self-reflective moment in the shower, she walked towards her living room area, hands drying her locks with a towel, trying to rid as much water as possible, the tall glass pane preventing her from falling to her death as she looked upon the shining city lights, looking like stars beneath her feet, she stayed gazing at the faux stars until she heard the soft sound of her mail slot rattling open and closing immediately afterwards, then a light fluttering sound of paper falling on her cold tiled floors

She walked towards the entrance of her dark home, the only light guiding her path was the lights seeping through her tall tempered windows, the outline of her shadows coming to a stop as she did, she walked slowly towards the paper now on the floor

It was a jet black envelope, with a cursive “Y/N” written on the back in gold ink, the glitter in the ink glisten every time it catches a ray of light, she opened the envelope and was greeted by a white and gold marbled piece of paper, the paper was beautiful the intricate and careful swirls of gold mixing with the stark white paper brought a smile to her face

“Lovely…” She whispered to the paper, bringing it close to her nose to smell the unmistakable aroma of roses and jasmines on the paper, she then observed the paper and in it written in black ink, the dark letters contrasting with the light colored paper said

“Lady Y/N L/N, it will be our utmost pleasure to have your presence grace our upcoming white and gold party that will be held in

Sunrise Avenue, PB street, Babyah Building

On Friday, Quarter to midnight

We will be expecting your arrival, thank you and good day

Sincerely, The Lockhart Family”

Y/N sighed as she threw away the paper somewhere, mixing in with all her other college reports scattered around the place

She walked into her dressing room, to take out a long white tube top silk dress, with a slit on the left side, and only a long thin strip of gold chain laced with diamonds serving as a strap and supporting the wide opened back of the beautiful dress

She hanged the fabric onto the coat rack just beside it, and got herself a pair of white opened toe heels, the same piece of diamond-laced gold chain serving as an ankle strap, putting it under the hanged dress

Hmm, maybe a leg chain too ? she thought as she walked up to her vanity table, opening a drawer to pull out a gold chain once again laced with shining diamonds, she nodded to herself and left the diamond on the table

With her outfit ready, she walked to her giant California king sized canopy bed, laying herself against the soft mattress, and amidst the many soft pillow, in her cold and dark house, she has never felt more alone…

═══════════════════════════

A/N : that’s the end of first chapter, I like re-read it for like 10 times before I even posted this, I feel like it’s so bad😭, but please let me know what you think☺️, also I feel like it was a little too short, but I wanted to leave some sort of like cliffhangers, ig? but please let me know if you want longer chapters ☺️

P.S did you get some of the meme reference? 🌝

-🎶

[griffsursparker]

re: traditional publishing

someone asked me to tell them what I knew about traditional publishing, and I decided it was way too much to put in their ask box, so I guess I'm making a post lmao

fair warning, I have spent so long in publishing circles that I no longer have any concept of what normal levels of knowledge about publishing are. if something doesn't make sense because I left out something thinking it was common knowledge, just ask and I can clarify! if I explain something really obvious, I'm not trying to be condescending, I just genuinely have literally no concept what is or isn't obvious anymore. im sorta just trying to cover some basics here so they may be too basic I have no idea hgdsghds

also disclaimer: publishing industries are generally fairlyyyy similar world-wide I think, but idk where you live/if you write in english, so if you're writing in a different language your mileage may vary with these a bit more (because like . . . I pay attention to all the publishing stuff I possibly can, but if conversations about certain aspects are happening in a language I can't speak, I'm going to miss them lmao)(but I think the general gist will still hold true)

I apologize if this is an information overload hgsdghds I am a nerd about this stuff and this is me trying to,,, hold back lmao

anyways because this seems like the easiest way to cover the basics, here is, to my understanding, a basic publishing timeline for trad pub:

first, of course, you get the book as good as you can make it yourself

next up, generally speaking you want to try to get a literary agent. there are occasional opportunities to submit to publishers directly, but they're going to take you more seriously if you have an agent (agents are also great because they'll help you advocate for yourself in contracts!)

to get an agent, you generally have to submit some combination of the following—it should say on their website which ones:

-- a query letter (think of this as similar to what you'd read on the back of a book)

-- a synopsis (a longer description, covering the whole plot)(a query letter will be focused on hooking attention; a synopsis is about proving you follow through on it)

-- the first ten pages/three chapters/etc. again, it should say

if an agent likes your query materials, they'll reach out and ask you for the rest of your manuscript, or in publishing lingo, you'll get a "full request"

if you get a full request, you'll send your manuscript over, and generally get one of three answers. (1) a rejection. (2) a request to revise and resubmit. or (3) an offer

#1, an unfortunate part of publishing is there are generally a lot of rejections. they hurt, but it's not personal—it might not be the right genre/style/etc for the person you submitted to, or maybe they just don't have time for a new project right now, or any number of reasons. they suck, but they're pretty much unavoidable. every single author you look up to has gotten them

#2, an R&R is generally a good thing, although if you don't like their feedback, you don't have to take them up on it. basically, it means they like your book a lot, but they're not ready to commit to it until you make some changes. sometimes, this means they aren't the right fit for you, but a lot of the time they'll have really good feedback, and it means they're genuinely seriously considering signing with you

#3, an offer, is of course the end goal, so we're going to carry on from here

if you get an offer, the first thing you're generally going to do is nudge any other agents who have your full manuscript. generally you'll have about ten days to two weeks to decide whether you want to accept the offer, so you want to let the other agents know that they're about to lose their chance to sign you—they're going to move looking at your book higher on their to-do list, and you may very well get more offers

so you have an offer (or offers! but even just one is enough and something to be hugely proud of). now you have to decide if the agent is the right fit for you/which agent is the best fit if you have multiple offers. one thing to note is you never have to sign with someone even if they're your only offer. if you talk to them, and realize you aren't going to work well with this person, it's okay to say no and keep querying other agents instead

once you have an agent, they might have edits for you. depends on the agent. if so, you'll do a round of edits here

next, the agent will submit to publishers for you. how involved you are in this process will depend on the agent (and also on you)

this process, or "going on sub", generally means a lot of waiting. it's slow. everything in this industry is slow. it sort of sucks, but the best thing to do is just . . . write something else. do your best not to worry about it. there ultimately isn't much you can do here—you sort of just have to wait and hope a publisher bites

I don't actually know much about the process of signing with a publisher, so I won't try to speak to it too much, but I do know bits and pieces about standard contracts and stuff if that interests you

once you've signed with a publisher, the next big step is going to be more edits

a lot of edits, actually

to my understanding you're going to do at least one round of structural edits (plot, character, etc. big picture stuff), at least one round of line edits (smaller stuff, tone, voice, etc), and at least one round of copy edits (grammar, etc). generally it'll be more than just three rounds though

it's up to you what edits you accept, but you are going to have to make a lot of edits if you want to pursue traditional publishing

then comes pass pages (proofreading proofreading proofreading!!)

and somewhere in there, likely before at least one round of pass pages, ARCs are generally going to come out!

ARCs are advanced readers copies, and they're a marketing thing. depending on the book, you might get a lot of ARCs, or you might just get some digital ones on NetGalley. this is the first time people in the general public will actually get to read your book (for the sake of reviewing it)

then: release day!

a few other things to note:

titles and covers:

if you want control over these . . . don't trad pub. you'll get some say, but at the end of the day, they're a marketing decision, so especially if you're a smaller author, you don't get ultimate say over these

payment:

first of all, you never ever pay a traditional publisher anything as an author. same goes for an agent. if they ask you to pay them, they're a scammer

an agent gets paid when you get paid. I'm unsure on the exact percentage, but they take a cut of what you get paid (I know, it doesn't sound great to give up some of your hard-earned money, but they're worth it, trust me)

a publisher pays you

most authors only ever see their advance, so this is a big one. when you sign with the publisher, they'll offer you xyz amount of money. this is your advance. you get this, no matter how many copies of your book sell

an advance is generally paid in instalments—how many depends on the publisher, but usually 2–5. one upon signing, and then generally the later ones will be upon turning in a revised book, upon publication, and then sometimes a year after publication, etc

then comes royalties. but an advance is essentially their estimate of how much you'll earn in royalties—it's them paying you royalties in advance. they cannot take this away if you don't earn that much in royalties, but you won't see any actual royalties until you "earn out", aka until your book sells enough copies to make up the advance

this is still all very simplified, but it's way too long already, so I'll leave it here lmaoooo

if you're considering trad pub vs self pub, the big things to keep in mind are how much control you want vs how much work you want to do. the publisher does a lot of the hard shit for you, but they do also have a lot of control over certain things. if you want your book published exactly the way you want it, self pub might be a better fit, and that's okay!

also: time. I know people who have self pubbed sheerly because they didn't want to wait years for their book to come out, and that is an entirely valid reason to do it. trad pub is slow as shit

@hahaha-darn-it (I know you're the only one who'll read this, but for the record didn't write this like,,, solely to you in terms of how I wrote it, so most of my stuff in here is general not like. aimed specifically and pointedly at you or anything lmaooo)

[donutloverxo]

Yes daddy

Gif source

Corrupting a good boy - Chapter 4

Please note that my stories are not to be stolen or reposted on any other site. Reblogs are welcome. This blog and this story is 18+. Do not read, follow or interact if you are not 18+.

Note - This is the last chapter. Idk if I'll write an epilogue because it took me a long time to just get this done😂😂 I'm sorta sad to say goodbye to this story but so grateful for everyone who supported me. Thank you all and I hope you like this. Dividers are by @whimsicalrogers

Summary - You finally make Steve your daddy.

Warnings - smut (m/f), spanking, punishment, daddy kink, angst, jealousy, Steve is mean a lil🥺, butt stuff?, desi reader.

Pairing - Steve Rogers x reader

Word count - 5.2k

“Sweetheart, are you gonna stare at me all night long? I’m not that pretty,” he looked up at you from the book he was reading, his smile disappearing when he took in your grim face. “What happened?” he asked.

What happened was - you had spent the past hour in the bathroom, crying your eyes out, while you lied and told Steve you were taking a long relaxing bath.

“Nothing really... but I was hoping we could talk,” you told him.

You were on your knees, trying to keep your sobs in as you questioned your life choices. How you left your country for him, your family for him to start a whole new life. How you fought your parents and went against them for your love, they didn’t want you marrying someone of a different race and a different religion. Wouldn’t they be fucking happy to hear about this.

How you adopted his family and friends as your own. How you didn’t have a job anymore and were completely dependent on him.

“What do you wanna talk about?” he asked he closed his book, putting it away.

“You know what I wanna talk about,” you kept your voice from wavering too much. You needed to be strong. You can’t have anyone walk over you.

“I... I’m not sure I do. You’re scaring me, sweetheart.”

You finally looked away from him, pacing around the room because confronting wasn’t really your thing.

“I wanna talk about your ex girlfriend,” too hurt to even say her same, “You dated for like I don’t know five years, that’s five times more than the time we’ve been together. And you were broken up for two years before we started dating...”

“Yeah that’s true.” He was still confused but he had an idea as to where this was going, running his hands through his hair because he was already done with this conversation.

“I don’t know if two years is enough time to get over someone. I know if we broke up today, I probably would never be able to love again.”

“What?” he frowned. “That’s... I...” he trailed off, not sure how to react to a strange statement like that.

“How long would it take you to date again?” you looked straight at him.

“I’m not sure,” he shook his head. “Why are we having this conversation?”

“I don’t think you’re over Peggy, Steve.” You sighed, completely dejected as you sat down on the edge of the bed with your back to him.

“Steve, it’s so good to see you, I’m so glad you could make it,” she kissed his cheek, before giving him a once over, “You have gotten more beefy. Now, how is that even possible?” she shook her head, holding his hands in hers.

What you didn’t think was out of the realm of possibility, and so absurd, was how someone could so blatantly flirt with your husband while you stood right next to him.

He only laughed, his cheeks a little flushed at the praise, “Sam has been working me kinda hard lately.”

“Darling,” she finally turned to you, her red lips smiling at your misery and mocking you so cruelly, “I missed you the most,” she said as she kissed your cheek.

“I think I’m just gonna go to the ladies room,” you said as you pulled away from her as quickly as you could.

“Oh, I’ll join you!” she chirped up as you grumbled under your breath.

“So, how did the plug work out for you both?” she asked as you stopped on your tracks. “It was a butt plug right?”

“H - how did you know about that?” Because you had clearly told her that it was a dildo for your friend.

“Just a lucky guess,” she shrugged. “Did you show it to Steve?”

“As a matter of fact I did,” you smiled proudly. “You were wrong after all. He actually liked it. And has been giving my backdoor special attention ever since,” you looked around you, to make sure that no one at this classy fundraiser heard you talking about your ass and your sex life.

“Oh, it seems that I was...”

You felt like you could literally do your happy dance in the moment. For the first time ever, she actually looked defeated.

“Steven has really never been like that. He’s kind of a square and boring really, totally not your type,” she scoffed.

“Well, you know, people change,” you shrugged.

“I don’t think anyone can change THAT much, darling. Especially not Steve, he hates change and letting things go, you see? He’s always been so stubborn. I was so surprised that he married someone like you.”

You huffed at that. Any other day you would've cried but you were in fight mode. “Why? What’s so wrong with me?”

“No!” she immediately explained. “No, darling, there’s nothing wrong with you. You’re amazing, so free and curious and beautiful” as she touched your face, “You’re just not suited for him.”

You pulled away from her, to get a champagne flute off a tray, “Well, he married me so I'd say that I am.”

“Steve, he is, well I’ve known him for over a decade and, no offense but you’ve only known him for a year.” To which you rolled your eyes. “Steve’s type is more...”

“What? Accomplished? Amazing? Able to throw a lavish party like this?” You waved your hand around the room, spilling some of the champagne from your glass.

“Well, yes... but there’s more to it...”

“No, I think I’ve heard about enough from you.” You said as you left for the bathroom by yourself to collect yourself.

When you came back you saw Peggy dancing with Steve. It seemed as though everybody was looking at them.

“I’m sorry, but you don’t get to decide how I do or don’t feel,” he said, getting off the bed before walking over to you, in front of you.

“You didn’t notice her fluttering her lashes and giving you a once over, Steve?”

“From Peggy? we are not at all like that.”

“You are so blind,” you shook your head, “I think... you looked really good dancing with her, Steve. And you seemed so happy and vibrant, it’s like you were both in love.”

She was throwing her head back, laughing, her curls bouncing when he twirled her around, he looked down at her with so much love in his eyes. They looked like such a picture perfect couple. She was beautiful. If you didn’t hate her so much you’d think she was the most beautiful woman you had ever met. And she always had a certain brilliant aura to her.

When you saw them together like that, you realised that you would never be her, no matter how hard you tried. You would never be that beautiful, people would always look at you and Steve and wonder how you managed to get with someone like him.

“I don’t know how many times I can say this. I’m getting pretty tired of it all,” he shook his head. “It’s like you’re creating problems just for the sake of it!”

You finally looked up at him, “I’m the one creating problems? Wow. I don’t work with my ex, Steve. I’m not still best friends with someone I loved for five years. I don’t dance with a woman my mother wishes was my wife.”

“What? What the hell are you talking about? Mom doesn’t want Peggy to be my wife!”

“She does. She so clearly does. Why wouldn’t she, Peggy is just so freaking amazing.”

“I think you’re just projecting.” He said as he took a deep breath, pinching his nose. “And we need to take a breather to calm our heads.” Because he needed some space, he didn’t want either of you to say something you couldn’t take back or for things to go too far.

“I think... I should just go back home. At least for a while. It’s not like I have much to do here,” you shrugged.

Most of the time you just watched Netflix or wandered around Steve’s brownstone cleaning things, waiting for him to get back home. You weren’t sure if he would miss you if you did go back to your parents.

He shook his head at that. “I’m gonna go down to the gym.” He told you.

***

“I’m here to see Peggy,” you said. Your head tall and proud as you looked at her housekeeper.

“Of course, Mrs Rogers,” she gave you a warm smile as she welcomed you into the apartment. “Ms Carter will be so happy to see you.”

“She won’t be,” you grumbled under your breath. Not with the amount of rage you were in right now.

“She’s always happy to see you,” she said before calling out for Peggy. “Why don’t you go straight into her room?” she told you.

You frowned. Maybe battling the enemy on their territory wasn’t the best idea but it was all you had right now.

“Fine, I will,” you said as you straightened your dress before making a beelike for her bedroom.

After your explosive fight with Steve, you had decided you would put an end to all of this by establishing your dominance and telling Peggy to piss off.

“Margaret,” you yelled as you entered her room.

“Oh my gosh,” she beamed as she came out of her closet. Dressed in a silky black gown, with a robe pulled over it. “What’re you doing here?” she asked as she came over to you, engulfing you in a hug. “It’s been so long since you’ve been here... I thought you were cross with me or something.” She pulled away as she smiled at you.

She was much less intimidating without her heels, since there wasn’t that significant of a height difference between you. But even without her makeup on, she looked beautiful, you could never compete with.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” You pulled away to out some distance between the two for you, ignoring the hurt look on her face when you cursed. “Why ever would I be cross with you? You’re an angel who does no wrong!”

“Now. I really don’t recall ever doing anything to make you mad... but if I did, even if it was a mistake. I am so so sorry. I would never want to hurt you.”

“Oh my god.... do you even hear yourself?! How can you lie so well to my face. You honestly deserve an Oscar or something for that.”

“I’m not.... lying...” her brunette brows furrowed.

“Really? You’ve been trying to break me and Steve up for months! Ever since I came here, you’ve been putting me down, telling me how Steve deserves so much more than me, flirting with him right in front of me. You are devious.” You couldn’t help it as tears escaped your eyes.

“No,” she shook her head. “No, I didn’t mean to say that he deserves better or anything like that. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you, that’s the last thing I would ever want.”

“Bullshit.”

“It’s true! What I meant to say was... Steve is not the right one for you.” Her chest heaving as she took a step closer to you, to touch you again but you stepped back.

“What do you mean?”

“Steve could never give you the things you want. You want... whips and butt plugs and kinks. Steve is as vanilla as they come. He may indulge you for a while but he would never like it and be a good dom for you.”

“You don’t know anything about Steve - “

“I know enough,” she interrupted you. “He’s not the one for you, love. He can’t give you the things I can,” she said as she held onto her chest.

“Wh – what?”

“I’ve been in love with you since the moment I met you, Y/N. I’m sure Steve loves you as well. But he could never love you as much as I do, he is not the right one for you.”

“I... am so confused right now...” You eyed her sceptically. Was this another one of her games? This was the first time you were seeing her panicked and out of breath and control.

“It’s true. I tried to... forget about you. I thought it was just infatuation or something. But the more I got to know you the more I fell for you. You’re everything I’ve wanted and more,” she gushed with glassy eyes.

“Oh...”

“You’re so sweet and innocent and just cute - ”

“You love me because I’m cute?” Still stir shocked.

“And sweet and good and compassionate. You remind me of Steve when he was younger. Before the world changed him. I don’t want that to happen to you. I want to protect you.”

“You are so weird you know that,” was all you said. Because you were stunned and speechless.

“Love makes people do crazy things. And I’ve never had a love like this before.”

“So... you are not still in love with Steve?” you asked.

“I... I haven’t been in love with him for years. I never loved him the way I loved you. I don’t think he loved me the way he loves you either.”

“I don’t know what to say...”

You were so prepared to fight for your husband and your marriage. But now... you didn’t even really need to? Did you get worked up over nothing? You wasted so many months comparing yourself to her, trying to achieve this unattainable goal and setting this high standard for yourself. Just to find out that someone as smart, beautiful and classy as her was in love with you.

Is this a fever dream?

“Just say yes.” She stated.

“To what?”

She left to poke around in her dressing drawer without saying anything to you, you just swayed back and forth in place not knowing what to say or do. You were kinda... flattered but also upset with her for causing you so much anguish.

She came back with a box. She opened it to you, revealing a baby pink collar with diamonds studs spelling out your name.

“I had this made for you. They’re real diamonds,” she smiled nervously, “I want you to be mine.”

“So you are crazy,” you finally looked away from the collar and to her. It was a beautiful collar though. Something you would’ve loved, had it been Steve giving it to you.

“I’m not. I just love you. And I don’t share, I want you to leave Steve for me. I can feel it - we’re soulmates.”

“I... if you knew me you’d know that I would never leave my husband. I would never even think of such a thing.”

“Really?” she scoffed as she shut the box, “So I guess you can prepare yourself for boring sex for the rest of your life as you throw away something amazing and perfect you can have with me.”

“It’s not boring,” you shook your head, “No part of Steve is boring. When we make love, it’s so special and intimate, it’s never boring, even if I don’t get to call him daddy or have him whip me. I could easily go my whole life without all that.”

She took a deep breath, “It doesn’t matter. Our souls are bound together. I can feel it. If not now, we’ll be together in the future, or in another life.”

“Keep dreaming,” you gritted your teeth. “Just leave me and my husband alone from now on.”

“I’m here for my WIFE,” you heard the very familiar voice. A certain kind of authoritativeness that often made you shiver - that drew you towards him in the first place. Both you and Peggy looking towards her door expectedly.

“Sir, she’s having a private conversation with Ms Carter, if you can just wait outside...”

“She’s my wife,” he said as he pushes past the housekeeper, “there is nothing private between us.” His jaw clenching as soon as he set his eyes on you. He was right in front of you in two long strides.

“Wh – what are you doing here? Are you here to see Peggy?” you frowned. Just because she wasn’t in love with him doesn’t mean he still didn’t have feelings for her.

“No,” he bit the inside of his cheek to keep his anger in check, “I’m here for you. I’ve been calling everyone, going around town to find you because you didn’t even bother taking your phone with you.”

“Well, you were the one who walked away first,” you puffed out your cheeks.

“Seriously?” He gave you a look of utter disbelief. You had seen Steve angry a handful of times, but it was never really directed at you. It made you shiver in fear, adrenaline pumping in your veins. Somehow, for some strange reason, you wanted to egg him on. To piss him off a little more.

“You literally left without your phone or your wallet in the middle of the night! Do you have any idea how worried I was?” he said before sighing, counting down to ten to keep calm.

“I was... maybe I was a little impulsive. But I didn’t know what else to do! How to make it better, how to fix us!”

He nodded as he listened to you, still frustrated with you but he tried to put himself in your shoes, that’s what his Ma always taught him. He was about ready to get out of here and have a proper conversation with you.

But that’s when he saw that.

“What the fuck is that?!” he yelled, when he saw some sort of collar with your name on it.

“I had this made for Y/N,” Peggy stood tall, as if she had literally nothing to be ashamed of. “It’s a collar.”

“A what?” he frowned.

“It’s like a sex toy, Steve,” you rolled your eyes. You wish he knew what-the-fuck that was and that HE was the one who had made it for you. “It’s like an ownership thing. If I wear it I belong to her.”

“Why would you belong to her?” Your poor sweet, innocent husband was genuinely confused.

“She’s like.... obsessed with me for some reason,” you shrugged.

“What?” he asked as he stared at her. “Is this a joke?”

“No, it’s not,” she said. “I am in love with your wife.”

He looked at her for a minute straight, pin drop silence in the room, tension as thick as Steve’s biceps, he looked into Peggy’s eyes to try to gauge if she was serious or if this was just a prank you and her were playing on him, to punish him for being so cruel to you earlier that evening, “Alright,” he finally said. I’ve had about enough of this,” finally looking towards you, he took a hold of your wrist which was folded on your front, “We’re leaving,” he told you.

“Like hell we are!” you tried to shake his grip off you but he was much much stronger than you. You wanted nothing more than leave this nauseatingly beautiful home and just get away from Peggy, to try and reassess and make sense of things.

But you would not have your husband, or any man (or woman) telling you what to do.

“We’re leaving,” he reiterated. “We can talk about this when we get home.”

“If she wants to stay, you can’t make her leave, Steven,” Peggy interjected as she rolled her eyes. “You’ve always been so controlling.... and in all the wrong ways.”

“This is none of your business,” he retorted before you could say anything to her. “She’s my wife and this is our own personal business.”

“Oh my god!” you stomped your foot to get their attention, “Whatever! I am so over this. I am leaving but not because you told me to,” you exasperated, giving Steve a pointed look, “but because I want to.”

“Darling, how much longer do you think you will take?” you heard Steve ask you through the door.

You had locked yourself in the bathroom as soon as you got home, giving Steve the excuse of wanting to get ready for bed. “You’re just gonna have to be a little patient, Steve.”

Finally after you were done with your skin care routine you stepped out of the bathroom only to see your husband standing right before you, his shirt was stretching the muscles of his biceps out, really testing the clothing material, his hands over his chest as he looked at you as if he was your dad, disappointed in your behavior.

“I didn’t do anything wrong,” you took a deep breath, “I –”

“Yes, you did, doll,” he interrupted.

“What?”

“You left in the middle of the night, do you have any idea how scared I was when I couldn’t get a hold of you? The least you could have done was take your phone with you.”

“You were the one who left in the middle of a fight, not me.”

He held up a hand, as if to non verbally shush you, “You need to be taught a lesson.”

Before you could say anything he had turned his back to you, walking over to your bed and then sitting on the edge of it, he patted his lap, “Over my lap,” he instructed.

“Excuse me?!”

“You heard me. Get over here now, you know I don’t like repeating myself.”

“What? Is this because of the choker?”

“Over my lap right now, sweetheart. You don’t want to make me anymore angry than I already am.”

You stared at him for a few moments, but then couldn’t keep up with the intensity of his emotions, his disappointment in you and his anger, you nodded meekly before making your way over to him, hesitantly laying stomach down over his lap.

“Are you… going to spank me?” you asked as you tried to keep your breathing under control, this was all too overwhelming for you, being spanked by your husband was probably one of your biggest fantasies, but right now, you weren’t even sure whether Steve was being serious or if he was just pulling your leg.

“Don’t you think you need to be punished for your indiscretions, doll? For doubting my love for you, for giving me that scare. You need to learn a lesson and not do it again.”

“Um…. Is that a trick question?” Because you didn’t need or deserve to be punished, you hadn’t done anything wrong, you would however like a nice hard spanking.

“I think you deserve ten for leaving without telling me,” he ignored you, pulling your nightgown over your behind, exposing your bare ass to him, he started kneading the flesh in his palm, “five for making me worry. So that’s fifteen in total, but I’ll knock five off since this is your first time.”

Since he got nothing but silence from you, he swatted at your butt, “I need an answer.”

You gasped, although you had always imagined this, it was quite different, Steve’s hand was so big and strong, it left you tingling, burning and wanting more. “Yes,” you replied.

“Yes what?” he asked again as he prepared your other cheek for a spanking by massaging it.

“Yes... Sir?” he spanked you again, this time much harsher, making you yelp and then moan.

“Try again.”

“I...”

You were so confused.

There wasn’t anything left.

Except...

“Daddy....?” you whispered. It was your deepest, darkest secret.

“You don’t sound so sure, sweetheart.”

“Um,” you cleared your throat, “Yes, daddy.”

“That’s right,” he said and he spanked you again.

He, thankfully, didn’t make you count the spanks as he went to town on your ass, because if he had you wouldn’t be able to. You weren’t sure if you could remember your numbers, or your alphabets.

You couldn’t stop from drooling, or making the filthiest noises, you honestly didn’t care what Steve or your neighbors thought of you. You couldn’t stop from rubbing your thighs together, trying to grind on his thigh to relieve some of the pressure.

“Steve... Daddy.... no more...”

It was too much, you weren’t sure that you would be able to handle it.

“Just one left, sweetheart. Are you sure?” he asked.

You looked back at him over your shoulder, it was just one and you didn’t want to disappoint him.

“Okie, just the one then.”

You whimpered as he delivered one last slap to your bruised asscheek.

“It’s all done, baby. You were so good. Took it all so well.” He praised you as he rubbed your ass.

“Really?” you looked at him with your big doe eyes.

He nodded, gathering your limp body in his arms and cuddling you close to his chest. He kissed your hair, “I promise. You were the best. Did you learn your lesson?”

You wrapped your arms around his neck, nuzzling the crook of his neck, “Yes. I’m sorry...”

“I’m sorry too.” He smiled at you. “I think... I should’ve done this a long time ago. Spanking you. It’s easier for you to learn this way.”

“Better late than never,” you giggled. Sucking on his collar bone as you felt his erection pressing against the inside of your thigh.

“Sweetheart?”

“Hm?”

“Let me make love to you.”

Although it was phrased like a question, or a polite request, it didn’t seem that way at all. It was almost a statement or an order. He didn’t even wait for an answer for you as he snaked a hand up your nightgown, between your legs, he teased your drenched lips.

“Let me make love to my pussy. It’s only mine. Isn’t it?” He propped your chin up with his other hand, waiting on an answer from you as his fingers teased your entrance.

“It’s... yours. Just like how your cock is only mine.” You told him, whimpering as his fingers entered you, stretching you out for aforementioned big cock which belonged only to you, pressing your lips against his jaw, kissing him all over his cheeks and his lips.

He chuckled at that, “Of course it’s yours, sweetheart. I’m glad you got it through your head. That punishment really worked, huh? Did that get you this wet?” he curled his fingers inside you, making you twist his tank top in your hand.

“That... and you, daddy.”

“Hm. Why don’t you touch it, sweetheart?”

“Touch what?” you looked up at him.

“What belongs to you.”

“Oh,” you smiled, feeling silly as you realised what he was talking about.

“Matter of fact,” he removed his fingers, making you whine, but then sucking them clean in his mouth as if you were the tastiest thing in the whole world. “Get on your knees, honey.”

“Okay.”

You nodded meekly, your cheeks heating up as you kneeled on the carpet before him, getting him out of his sweat pants with shaky hands, he was big, angry, red and leaking precum, “What do I do now?” you looked up at him for guidance and directions.

“Just... take it in your mouth,” he said as he pushed the tip of his cock against your tips, smearing his cum onto you, you opened your mouth up and wide for him as he gently pushed your head down on him.

You couldn’t really swallow much of him, maybe half, before he hit the back of your throat, you suckled around him, hollowing your cheeks and pumping the rest of his length with your hand. You finally pulled him out of your mouth to get some much needed oxygen.

“Was that okay, daddy?”

“More than okay, sweetheart,” he replied. He had always thought about doing this with you - to fulfil all your dreams and fantasies. But he was too afraid to actually go through with it. Always feeling that it would be too awkward or that he just wasn’t cut out for it.

But now, when he was actually here, telling you what to do, having you give yourself to him completely, it all seemed so natural, as if it was all always meant to be.

You pumped his cock, watching cummies drip out of his tip in awe, “It’s mine,” you said, more to his (and your) cock than to him.

“All yours, honey. I’ve never felt what you make me feel, ever before. I never came inside anyone but you, sweetheart. It’s reserved just for you.”

He never even masturbates, because only you are worthy of his cum, it solely belongs in your or on you.

“In fact, I need to cum in your pussy, right now,” he said as he held onto your wrist to stop you. “Come on, climb on top of me.”

Like the good doll that you were, you stood up, ready to do as you were told but then Steve stood up as well. Pulling up the helm of your nighgown before tossing it aside so that you were completely bare before him, followed by his tank top and sweats.

“I need to feel you, sweetheart.”

He told you, holding onto your hips as you threw a leg over him, holding onto the base of his cock, rubbing his tip against your pussy, looking into his deep blue eyes as he cupped your cheeks, his hand massaging your breasts, pinching and pulling on your peaked nipples.

“What are you waiting for, sweetheart?” he asked you as you had paused, holding onto him.

You didn’t answer him, only hummed.

Throwing your head back as he wrapped his mouth around your nipple, sucking it harshly before grazing his teeth over it.

“I just,” you tried to talk while also trying to catch your breath, “Want to take it all in, to just remember this.”

He released your nipple with a loud and crude pop, “That’s nice, sweetheart. But this is all yours. I’m yours, you can have me anytime you want.”

“I know, but...” You had a feeling that you were going to remember this moment, this night forever, and you wanted to make sure that you had committed all the filthy parts in your memory.

You sighed, holding your breath as you slowly and steadily sink down on his cock, “Feels so full...” you had never felt this filled up and stuffed before.

“You’re so tight,” Even though he had spent a good amount of time stretching you out.

He groaned as you slowly start to bounce on top of him. Digging his fingers into your hips, he hugged you close to him, so that he could feel all of you, driving his hips up and into you.

“That feel good?” he asked you, trying to hold you steady as his balls smacked against your freshly spanked ass.

You held onto his shoulders, only nodding because you were too far gone to actually answer him. Biting his neck as your climax washed all over you. It didn’t take long for him to fill you up with his seed, and the fact that you were the only one to ever receive it made you proud.

So much so that you stopped him from pulling out of you, because you wanted him and his cummies to stay in you as long as possible.

“Just for a while, please?” you requested, making sure to use your puppy eyes on him as you felt him softening inside you.

“Alright sweetheart,” he gave in, because he could never say no to you.

[lemonluvgirl]

Delicious (3/4)

Ok, so I know it was supposed to be a 2-shot but well, the plot kind of got away from me. Also I was going to have this be a super long chapter and decided against it. I’m just going to break the story up into 4 parts. So here’s part 3. Part 4 coming soon. IDK when exactly because my day off ended up not being a day off and I’m behind on my writing as it is. But hopefully this tides ya’ll over for a bit! Also this thing is SO not beta read. Any errors are all mine. Parts 1-3 can now be read in Ao3. 

Katniss’ phone pinged with the sound of another notification. 

She glanced at the screen and saw it was a text from Peeta. 

That had to be the fourth one today. 

She rolled her eyes and ignored it, refocusing on her computer and the numbers she was reviewing. She had brought some extra work home with her this weekend. Not because she was behind but because she needed a distraction. Peeta had been texting and calling since their last class. It was always apologies and requests for her to talk to him. Katniss just rolled her eyes at his gall. 

She had done a good job of not responding so far, but had to stop listening to the voicemails he left because he sounded so sad and sorrowful she almost caved. 

He certainly was good at faking remorse. She almost believed he was sorry, and regretted the way he had acted when he flirted with her even though he was already dating another woman. 

The key word being almost. 

She knew she was going to have to end the silent treatment sometime soon. 

Tuesday was going to be coming up soon, and that was the day they usually had their class. 

She hadn’t decided what to do about it. 

On the one hand she never wanted to see Peeta Mellark again. 

On the other hand she had spent quite a bit of money on those private cooking classes and she either needed a refund for the rest of the classes, or maybe even a full refund considering she hadn’t really learned how to cook a proper meal from scratch yet. 

It sure would be nice to get all her money back, considering it was mainly Peeta’s fault she needed to discontinue their classes. (Well actually, Katniss hadn’t been making much progress in cooking even before the infamous flirting incident, but she considered that to be mostly his fault as well. He was just too damn distracting) 

She knows if she doesn’t make arrangements soon, she won’t get any sleep tonight. 

With a sigh, Katniss picked up her phone, intending to send him a text saying she wants to cancel the rest of their scheduled classes, and would like some sort of refund. But just as she opens her messenger app, another text comes in from him. 

Katniss, I guess you’ve decided you’re not going to respond to my attempts to contact you. That’s ok. I just want to let you know I’ve arranged for another chef to take over this Tuesday’s cooking lesson, and all future lessons if that’s what you’d prefer. I know you’re paid through until next month, and it's only fair you get to finish your lessons, even if you’ve decided you don’t want me to teach you anymore. So I’m including the contact info for the substitute chef, in case you want to research his credentials or contact him before class. He’s a total professional and is a really great teacher. If this arrangement isn’t to your liking I’m also willing to offer you a full refund. Although I’d hate to end your classes without you achieving your cooking goals. Cinna is great though and I wish you’d give his class a chance.  Even if you just do a trial run on Tuesday to see if you guys can work together. Still, it's your call. I will abide by whatever you decide. 

Katniss stares at his text for a full minute after she’s done. She reads it over again, trying to decode his message for any hidden meaning. She sees the contact file but doesn't open it immediately. 

She can’t decide whether she should give this a chance or not. 

Peeta’s message practically reeked of contrition, but she didn’t know whether she trusted him enough to be taught by one of his friends. 

Although she couldn’t be certain his friends were misleading cretins like him. For all she knew this other chef was a perfectly normal person, and she was being judgmental before she even met the guy. So why was she afraid to give it a try? 

Katniss searched deeper inside herself, and made an annoyed noise when she came up with the answer. 

The truth was, Katniss was still pissed at Peeta, and the anger she felt, not to mention the humiliation of asking him to dinner while he was unavailable, was still fresh. She didn’t feel comfortable accepting anything from him right now, even if it was just an alternative to having to cook with him. 

Just as she was about to type out a ‘No thank you, I just want a refund.’ as her response, another text came in. 

I know what happened last Tuesday was unprofessional and irresponsible of me. For what it's worth I want to apologize again to you. It was completely my fault. I should never have allowed myself to get carried away like that. I just want to stress this is not something I am in the habit of doing. I’ve never done anything like that with a student of mine or while I was dating someone. I messed up, and even though nothing physical happened between us I know you have a right to be upset because I wasn’t upfront with you. I’m really sorry Kantiss. I never meant to lead you on. I just underestimated how much I felt for you, and to my lasting shame I didn’t put a stop to things until I’d already made an ass of myself. I can’t tell you how much I regret screwing things up. You deserve so much better than the way I treated you, as a student, a friend, and as a person in general. I just had to tell you that one last time before I stopped trying to contact you. If you don’t respond to this text I’ll just arrange for a full refund to be sent back to the card you used to pay for the classes and I’ll never bother you again. 

Katniss bit her lip as she read over the last few words of the second message. 

Damn him for knowing exactly what to say, and exactly how to say it to convince her he was telling the truth. Peeta sure had a way with words. She kind of hated him for being so perfect at everything, including apologizing. 

He was a nice guy after all, just as she had initially thought. The only mistake he had ever made was flirting with her, and that just made her feel conflicted about everything. It proved he wasn’t infallible but it also made her stomach knot uncomfortably when she thought about how he had said he underestimated his feelings for her. 

She wondered what that meant. Did he like her? Would he have wanted to date her if he had been single and free to do so? Or was he just attracted to her physically and wanted to fuck her? 

Katniss groaned, rubbing the heels of her palms into her eyes as she tried to stop from going down the rabbit hole of deducting Peeta’s motivations. She wasn’t about to ask him for the details. She’d rather die than discuss their near miss. (Even if she had dreamed a couple times about the way he smelled and the way his arms felt when he had caged her in to help her knead the dough)

In the end she just couldn’t put herself through that much torture. Whatever he felt for her, Katniss was determined to let it go. He had a girlfriend. It would be inappropriate to discuss that sort of thing now. 

But she supposed she could at least take him up on his offer to continue her cooking classes with a different chef. She had never been one to give up on something after she had decided she wanted it. 

And she had already relegated herself to giving up on having Peeta. So mastering how to cook would have to be achievement enough. 

Maybe this time she’d actually learn something, since there was no way the universe could orchestrate for her to get stuck with another impossibly hot instructor. 

Katniss picked up her phone and sent off a quick reply, telling him she was willing to do a trial run with Cinna on Tuesday. She didn’t comment on his apology, or anything else he had said. 

What was the point? 

It would just make things uncomfortable for both of them. 

So Katniss just left it alone. 

~

A few days later Katniss was pleasantly surprised to learn after showing up for class on Tuesday that Cinna was indeed as good as Peeta had said. He was an amazing chef and a great teacher. He was handsome, with rich smooth cocoa complete skin and an amazing pair of greenish/hazel eyes, but it was not on the same level of distraction Peeta had been. 

They got along right off that bat, and just as she expected, since she wasn’t attracted to Cinna (despite his good looks) in the same way she had been to Peeta, it made it infinitely easier for her to pay attention and learn. 

At the end of the lesson Katniss didn’t surprise either of them when she answered in the affirmative to Cinna’s question if she wanted to continue classes with him as her instructor. She didn’t even have to question it, it just felt right. 

~

Before she knew it it had been a month and her last couple of classes were drawing near. 

Katniss had made great progress with her lessons. She now knew the 12 basics of cooking that Cinna swore would get her through just about anything. 

She knew how to make soup stocks, sauces, roast vegetables, poach an egg, prepare and cook meat in a variety of ways, she could even make a dessert or two. 

Katniss was really proud of herself. Cinna was even prouder. When he asked if he could invite his wife Portia, (who was also a chef and was in the building to meet her husband for drinks after his class) to taste the chili Katniss whipped up, Katniss was hesitant. 

But Portia’s calm and affable demeanor swayed her. 

“Mmmn, this is really good.” Portia exclaimed as she dipped her spoon back into Cinna’s bowl for a second taste. 

Katniss blushed, beyond thrilled that two chefs had deemed her cooking good enough to actually eat. 

“And to think when we started with her about a month ago she could barely bake bread.” Cinna commented, while he beamed at Katniss. 

Katniss chuckled in remembrance, when at their first meeting Cinna had asked what she had learned so far with Peeta and Katniss had admitted she only knew how to make bread and Cinna had been struck speechless for a second and then he’d rolled up his sleeves and declared they had better get to work. 

That’s when she had decided she was going to be ok working with Cinna. 

“Oh, this is so savory, and with just the right amount of heat! But the avocado adds to the creaminess in a way I hadn’t expected.” Portia exclaimed again, walking forward to examine the leftover ingredients and spices on the counter. 

“It was Katniss’ idea to add the avocado cubes.” Cinna replied. 

Katniss pursed her lips, debating whether to admit she had remembered that particular tip from one of Peeta’s classes when he was trying to teach her substitutions for dairy products. She had asked him for tips because Katniss’ sister Prim was lactose intolerant. Peeta had told her that in a chili recipe you could substitute avocado for sour cream for that hint of creaminess. 

“It reminds me of something….” Portia said, trailing off in thought. 

Katniss raised her eyebrows, waiting for Portia to finish her sentence, when all of a sudden Portia snapped her fingers loudly and said, “I know! Peeta’s vegan chili recipe! Remember? He made it once for one of his exam pieces and he asked us to taste it before he submitted it to the review board?” Portia said excitedly. 

Katniss breathed out a sigh. It wasn’t that she wanted credit for thinking of using avocado in the dish, it was simply because she didn’t like bringing up Peeta. 

Kantiss knew he and Cinna were good friends, and she had tried her best to steer clear of the subject of her former instructor. Katniss had no idea what Peeta had told Cinna, or if he knew the reason why she had stopped taking lessons from him. 

She didn’t want to be tempted into a conversation about her former teacher because deep down she desperately wanted to know how he was doing, and her level of interest was still inappropriate. 

“Such a shame what happened to him.” Portia said, off hand. 

Katniss' eyes snapped up to Portia, suddenly keyed into the conversation completely. 

Cinna ‘uh huh-ed’ delicately, not moving his lips because he had just eaten another spoonful of chili. 

“What? What happened to him? Is he ok?!” Katniss exclaimed, worried suddenly to an almost desperate point. 

All she could think of was Peeta, the sweet, kind, and handsome chef who had barely managed to teach her how to boil water, lying somewhere in a ditch, or worse. 

“Are you alright dear?” Portia asked, her expression concerned. 

“Peeta was Katniss’ original instructor, honey, remember? She knows him.” Cinna explained, before reaching out a hand to steady Katniss who hadn’t realized she had started shaking. 

“He’s fine Katniss. He just went through a bad break up recently.” Cinna said in a careful, reassuring tone. Katniss met his hazel green eyes and realized he knew about her and Peeta. Maybe not everything, but it was apparent by the way Cinna was looking at her that he was aware something had happened between them. 

“Breakup? That boy got steamrolled and shattered. I never would have expected it of sweet little Madge Undersee. Pulling the wool over Peeta’s eyes and two-timing him with a serviceman for half a year while Peeta was back in the States here waiting for her. It’s a travesty, is what it is.” Portia elaborated and Katniss gasped. 

Peeta had gotten cheated on? What? Katniss was at a loss for words trying to think of what to say. 

“Portia, let’s not go airing Peeta’s laundry.” Cinna told his wife gently. 

“I’m sorry dear, I just get so upset every time I think of poor Peeta. He could have met a nice girl by now. Someone like Peeta deserves to be happy and appreciated. Instead he spent the last year lonely and miserable for nothing.” Portia vented angrily. Katniss examined her face and in it she saw genuine concern and indignation on behalf of Peeta. Katniss could see that she cared for Peeta a lot. 

“You’ll have to excuse my wife. She was Peeta’s sponsor and mentor when he was at Escoffier. The culinary school he graduated from.” Cinna said, gently taking Portia’s hand. 

Katniss remembered Peeta saying his family had not supported his decision to go culinary school over a traditional university. She had wondered how he had financed his schooling. Now she knew the answer. Portia it seemed, had known Peeta for years, had sponsored him in college, and was still a close friend of his. 

Portia apologized, and excused herself. She complimented Katniss one last time on her chili and all the progress she made, before telling Cinna she was going to wait for him down in the lobby. 

Kantiss nodded in understanding, and smiled at Portia’s kind words. She waved goodbye to the woman but was still inwardly troubled by the news she had received. She knew Peeta was seeing someone, but she had no idea his girlfriend was out of the country, and had been for a year. It cast Katniss and his encounter in the kitchen a few weeks ago in a slightly different light. Adding to the fact that Peeta was the one who got cheated on, not the one who did the cheating. 

Katniss felt that same old urge to travel down the rabbit hole and try to dissect Peeta’s motivations and the periphery circumstances. Had he really been miserable in his relationship for that long? Is that why he sought out another woman’s attention? 

Katniss, now more than ever, wanted answers about what that night meant to Peeta, and most of all, she wanted answers about the words he used in their last communication. 

I just underestimated how much I felt for you. 

Those words, more than anything, haunted Katniss. They always left her with an unsettled feeling whenever her mind wandered back to the subject of Peeta Mellark. 

Unfortunately though, Katniss had already burned her bridges with Peeta. 

She had not contacted him since his last text message, and had never even replied to let him know she had accepted his apology. 

Katniss reasoned with herself that if she opened the door to Peeta again, even just to speak to him, she’d be tempted to want more from him. 

She had known from their very first class together that she was in dangerous territory with Peeta. She had been attracted to him from the first, and spending time with him only made it worse. It was an overwhelming feeling, and Katniss hated giving over her control. She had never felt the desire to get closer to someone come on as strongly, or as quickly as it had with the blond chef who made her smile more easily than any man she ever dated in the past. 

But none of that had mattered while he had a girlfriend. Katniss wasn’t a homewrecker. And Peeta had obviously manned up and put a stop to their flirtation before things got out of hand. Even though she was still upset with him for not telling her right off the bat he was unavailable, she had been letting go of her anger more and more. 

What she hadn’t been able to shake was the disappointment in losing Peeta as a friend. She regretted that more than anything. Now hearing that Peeta had been going through a rough time, and had gotten his heart broken just made Katniss want to reach out to him again. 

But she was pretty sure her attempts to contact him would be unappreciated. Katniss had made it clear she wanted nothing to do with him after what happened between them. She left things in a bad place and had waited too long to fix it. 

Katniss blew out a dejected sigh and moved to begin cleaning up her cooking station. 

It was almost time for class to be over. 

“Penny for your thoughts.” Cinna’s voice startled Katniss out of her reverie.

His perceptive but kind green eyes seemed to see everything. Katniss blinked up at him, startled but also relieved in a way. 

She had always felt Cinna was the kind of person one could share one’s deepest secrets with. He had the look of a human vault, who would store things away but would never give away information unwarranted. 

“I guess I’m just a little worried about Peeta.” Katniss admitted. It was the truth, at least the biggest part of the truth. And she had to start somewhere that felt safe. 

“Peeta’s a big boy, Katniss. He’ll be alright.” Cinna said as he helped her rinse off the used cooking utensils after she was done washing them with soap. 

“I know that. I just….I mean this girl he was seeing, did she even realize how much Peeta sacrificed for her before she just-” Katniss trailed off, scowling deeply. 

“Some people don’t know a good thing when they have it.” Cinna said, arching his eyebrow at her in a slightly pointed manner. 

Katniss stopped scrubbing the cutting board. 

“I don’t know what Peeta told you, but I never ‘had’ him, you know. He was just my teacher.” She said slowly. 

“You two were friends weren’t you?” Cinna asked. 

“Yeah…I guess we were.” 

“And now?” 

“It's not that simple….” 

“It often isn’t that complicated either. What’s stopping you from reconciling your friendship?” 

“Me, I guess.” 

“Are you still angry at Peeta?” 

“Not angry, not anymore, just….” 

“Just what?” 

“Reluctant? Terrified? Unworthy? Take your pick.” 

“Katniss, those are some pretty strong adjectives, and I think it would take some time to unpack the emotions behind them.” Cinna said. 

“And I only pay you to teach me to cook, not psychoanalyze me.” Katniss said, with a dry laugh. 

“Hey, I earned every penny teaching you the difference between a Chiffonade and a Julienne cut. But friends don’t need to exchange money for something as simple as listening. So, come out with me and Portia for drinks tonight and explain it to me.” 

“Oh, no Cinna I couldn't intrude on your time with your wife.” 

“Portia and I have the rest of our lives to spend time together. That’s what being married means, Kantiss.” Cinna said with such surety, such an easy-going smile that Katniss’ heart ached painfully for a second to see the blatant love in his eyes and the confidence with which he planned his future. 

“No way Cinna. You’re probably dog tired right now and frankly so am I. You don’t need to hear me bitch about how I screw up every relationship I start for the next two hours. Let’s just call it night ok? And maybe I’ll let you pick my brain another time.” 

“I’ll let you off the hook for tonight Katniss, but this conversation isn’t over. In fact, I’m inviting you to the grand opening of my wife’s new gourmet bar and grill.” Cinna said in a stern voice. 

Katniss raised her eyebrows in surprise. 

“A gourmet bar and grill?” She asked, very interested to know more. 

“It's this new thing she’s trying. We have no idea if it’ll work, but with her skills in the kitchen and her business partner Haymitch’s acumen when it comes to mixology and bartending, we’re hoping to make a go of it.” Cinna said with a wry smile. 

“Haymitch? As in Abernathy? The guy who used to own the old hole in the wall called The Revolution?” Katniss asked, flabbergasted to learn the old man was still alive and kicking despite his drinking habit and his bar burning down a few years ago. 

“Haymitch and The Revolution are old friends of ours. It was a shame when he had to take a much reduced payout when the insurance adjusters found out he had been informed the wiring in his old bar was faulty. He was all set to close down for a week and have it replaced when the fire broke out. He’s been saving up since then to reopen his bar, but it was slow going. Portia always wanted to try her hand as a bar and grill type endeavor, so we decided to partner with him. We’re hoping the mix of good food, modern aesthetics, and quality liquor will endear us to the good people of this city.” Cinna told her, a hopeful note in his voice. 

 “Well, The Rev had a lot of loyal customers. I used to go occasionally and it was a great place.” Katniss replied, putting away the last of the utensils on the drying rack. 

“Yes! Haymitch’s old patrons plus the loyal customers Portia and I have accumulated with our bistro should make for a good foundation, but we always need more people to help us get the word out.” Cinna said, nudging her side in a friendly manner. 

“You want me to put up fliers or something at my work?” Katniss asked, seriously. She had been to Cinna and Portia’s restaurant, and she knew their food was delicious. She also missed the laid back, homey atmosphere of The Rev.

“That won’t be necessary, but I would like you to come to the opening and after you try out the food and drinks and find yourself completely enchanted, then I would appreciate it if you went back to work on Monday and gushed about it to everyone.” Cinna told her with a laugh. 

Katniss rolled her eyes, certain she’d never ‘gushed’ about anything before. But for Cinna she would try. 

“Alright, when and where, and also what’s the dress code?” Katniss asked. Cinna grinned at her as she grabbed her purse and he took out his keys to lock the classroom up. 

“I’ll text you the details dear, but since its cocktails and the grand opening, it's going to be slightly posh. I’d advise you to get out your little black dress for the evening.” He said before opening the door to the classroom to allow her to go ahead of him. 

“Does that mean heels too?” Katniss asked in dismay. 

“Afraid so. But don’t worry. I’m betting you’ll survive, Katniss.” Cinna said with a chuckle. 

“And how do you know that for sure?” Katniss asked him in an annoyed tone. 

“Because Peeta will be there.” Cinna said as he locked the door. Kantiss gasped but before she could complain or say anything he continued, “And something tells me the two of you together in the same room might just spark something incredible.” 

“Or burn the whole place down.” Katniss muttered and added a scoff for good measure. 

Cinna just laughed. 

“I’m doing you a favor, Girl on Fire. You do not want to leave things unresolved with a guy like Peeta, or you might just look back and kick yourself.” Her cooking instructor told her in a sagelike voice. 

Katniss stuck her tongue out at him in a childish manner, but it only made Cinna guffaw. 

“Don’t you wanna see Peeta in a nice pair of slacks?” Cinna asked her as he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. 

Kantiss felt her cheeks heat with a blush. The truth was, yes, she very much wanted to see Peeta’s deliciously sculpted ass in a pair of tight fitting dress pants. She also wanted to see him in a lot less than that, but the notion was neither here nor there. 

“If I go it's only for the free appetizers and drinks.” Katniss groussed. 

“Whatever you say, dear!” Cinna called as Katniss walked off in the direction where her car was parked. 

And even though Katniss knew it was probably a very bad idea, she couldn’t deny that she was already planning on going to the grand opening. She had to find out once and for all what there was between her and Peeta Mellark. 

[askamnesiamoonjumper]

Hey guys! Gonna give a lil update (both a mini life update and a update for the au stuff):

Tumblr is still messed up for me (currently posting this from pc) so I’m guessing it has to do with the bells they added to the dash considering that’s when it happened, so I’m assuming it’ll be back once they take them away, but if not I might have to go to staff or something we’ll see 

Anyway I got hat game on my pc for Christmas! but it sets my laptop on fire and runs very badly lmao so I’m probably gonna see if I can get a gaming computer for my birthday so I can play it properly 

Also sorry for not being very active lately, we went on vacation but I got sick afterwards and then a big snow storm hit, so just got a bit overwhelmed from all that happening one after another lol, I’m not sick anymore thankfully but the snow is still around 

In au related news as y’all know I’ve hit some art/writing block lately, so I’ve not started on the next prologue chapter just yet but thankfully I did get the plot of it figured out in a discord call, as I had been struggling to think of how it would play out bc it’s gonna be a A B plot situation, but I finally got a way for it to work out nicely ^^ so I got a little outline of the events jotted down, just haven’t started on the actual thing yet 

So after that chapter the prologue will be finished and so things can flow into the main fic, speaking of the main fic you’d assume I’d start working on chapter 2 after finishing the prologue and you WOULD be right, but I recently decided I want to go back and edit/rewrite chapter 1 just bc my writing improved so I wanna add extra scenes or better descriptions etc etc so it’s getting a revamp but not an outright rewrite just bc that thing is way too long to redo it entirely 💀

Also on the topic of writing i kept having the issue of thinking all the chapters outside of snatchers prologue chapter (heartburn) where all not the best writing, especially compared to aforementioned snatcher chapter that had way higher writing quality, I originally just chalked it up to being in the zone™️ when writing that one, but I realized I think it MIGHT be because it’s the only one not being adapted from a comic, all the others had comic or tumblr related things tied to them, but the snatcher fic was all it had going for itself, thus it had more descriptive words or spent longer on events etc because it didn’t have anything to go off of, where as the other fics ended up accidentally feeling more akin to scripts to me in how they did descriptions, ESPECIALLY forget me not because it’s literally just word for word event for event the same as it’s comic form, not sure if I’m making sense but what I’m getting at is that I’m glad that after this next chapter we are in completely new territory! No comics or ask blog stuff is tied to any of the chapters to come, so perhaps this will mean their writing will improve because they’ll only have the words to rely on, like I said idk if this little rant was necessary I just enjoy talking about my writing process is all 

But uh yeah tldr: next fic chapter will happen eventually, after that I’m going back to redo the first main fic chapter, and sorry I didn’t get to do any holiday art but maybe I will last minute do some doodles I dunno lol, OH, and I still gotta figure out a follower milestone event bc I’m super excited about it!^^ like I said of anyone has suggestions I’d love any ideas! 

Happy holidays! :3

[tngrace]

Letting Go  Ch. 1 Recalled

TGM has wrecked me and taken ahold of me like no movie ever has. I can't stop watching it or thinking about it. I haven't written a multi-chapter fic in so long, IDK what I'm doing anymore. But this has gotten too out of control to be one-shot. I can't promise a regular posing schedule or how long this will be, but I'm going to keep writing until the muse can't anymore. Please leave me your thoughts or anything you'd like to see happen and I'll see what I can do. Happy Reading :)

Rooster is recalled to Top Gun for special mission. He has to face Maverick for the first time since his papers got pulled. He promised his Uncle Ice he would try with Mav, but things are messy and complicated. The mission still happens, they still almost die, but they get their conversation once back on the carrier.

Read on AO3; Letting Go Masterlist

Being Commander of the Pacific Fleet meant he knew all, heard all, saw all. So when the details of the mission came in, he knew what he was going to have to do. He’d spent his career protecting his wingman and his pseudo nephew, even if said nephew didn’t know it. Now that his cancer diagnosis was back, it was time to force their hands for reconciliation. He’d heard both sides of the story; Rooster calling him in a fit of anger demanding he do something to reverse the damage Mav had done, and Mav had called to tell him it was done. He didn’t exactly agree with the way Mav went about doing things, but there was nothing new there either. He let out a sigh as he read over the Pentagon’s request from his Fleet. He knew what he had to do, he just hoped it worked.

Rooster was back stateside within two days of the request being made. It wasn’t until he landed at the Naval base, did he know why he was called back. He saw the message from Uncle Ice on his phone requesting he come by the house and he sighed. It wasn’t that he didn’t love his uncle or that he didn’t want to see him; things had just been different since Uncle Mav did what he did. He’d thought Uncle Ice would help him, but he didn’t, so Bradley set out on his own. But he knew Uncle Ice was still technically his boss, and Bradley was hard pressed to defy orders. He was not his Uncle Maverick no matter what anyone said.

He left from base and went to the house he’d spent a lot of time in growing up. He paused in the driveway watching kids running around playing. He knew Ice and Sarah had grandkids, he’d just never met them; he barely knew their kids if he was being honest with himself. He slowly stepped out of the Bronco he’d picked up from his storage unit and let out a deep sigh. “Here goes nothing,” he sighs as he tucks his aviators into the front of his uniform and closes the door. He knocks on the door and only has to wait just a few minutes before it’s being opened by Aunt Sarah. She pulls him into a tight hug telling him how wonderful it is to see him and it’d been too long.

She takes in his uniform and gives him a knowing look. “He’s in his office. Same room as when you were running wild around here,” she grins, making Rooster chuckle.

“It’s good to see you Aunt Sarah.”

“You too Bradley. Don’t be such a stranger,” she grins to downplay the reprimand, before shooing him off up the stairs to see his uncle. He can’t help but admire the pictures up and down the stairs and hallway as he goes. It’s been a little over ten years since he’s been to this house, and he sees everything he missed out on, everything Mav ruined. He lets out another deep breath before he knocks on the door. He doesn’t want to bring his anger into this when Uncle Ice really didn’t have anything to do with it. He was just here to see what his boss wanted, why he was recalled stateside from his carrier, and he would go from there.

He hears Ice coughing through the door, and he foregoes knocking for cracking the door open. “Sir?” he calls out.

“Bradley, come in.” It’s quiet and sounds labored, making Bradley worried. He knew Ice had cancer a few years ago; it got around base and he wanted to reach out then, but he was deployed shortly after hearing it, and didn’t get a chance. But he thought he’d heard that Ice was in remission and doing better.

“Don’t look at me like that,” Ice sighs. “I’ll be fine.” His uncle looked the same, just older. But Rooster could see the last years have been hard. He regrets not coming around more. “Sir. It’s back isn’t it?” Rooster asks, taking Ice in fully. It’s the only thought circling around his head as he stares at his uncle.

“You knew?” He takes sips of water to keep his throat wet as he watches his nephew just standing in the doorway. He wasn’t sure Bradley had kept up with him or Mav after the disastrous blow up over his Naval Academy admission. It’s nice to know Bradley had kept up some. He motions to the chair across from him, and Rooster nods before pulling it closer. “It got around base. I got deployed before I could call but I knew. I…” he breaks off swallowing down his emotions.

“It’s ok.” Ice reaches out squeezing Bradley’s hand hearing everything he can’t say. He’s not sure if it would be welcomed, but he can’t not comfort him. Rooster looks at his uncle’s hand before looking up at him, a man he admired and respected more than anyone knew. “I should’ve called, written, anything. I shouldn’t have just cut you and Aunt Sarah off.”

Ice motions to the laptop in front of him and Bradley gives him a confused look, but he nods. Sometimes it’s easier to type when I have a lot to say. It saves my voice . Rooster reads it and swallows down more emotion. His uncle is worse off than he expected. “Of course Sir. Whatever you need.”

Ice gives him another sad smile before turning back to type more. First, you can drop the formalities. I made it an official request you come so you would actually come. But you’re not only here for business.

Bradley gives him a half smirk but nods, so Ice continues typing. How are you?

They catch up on Bradley’s life since he joined the Navy. Ice knew the majority of it, but he wanted to hear it from his nephew’s perspective and not a report coming across his desk. When Bradley asks him once more about his diagnosis, Ice lets out a soft sigh, but is honest with him. Yes, it’s back. Not much else they can do. This will be my last mission to oversea formally. The “I don’t know how long I have left,” is left unsaid, but Bradley hears it all the same.

Bradley reads the words over and over. He missed out on so much, let his anger keep him from his family, and he’s seeing now how stupid that was. He has to blink back tears as he lets the words keep sinking in. “Mission sir?” he whispers, not sure he can trust his voice to be strong.

Ice turns back to face him, and Bradley knows it must be serious. “Bradley, I know you’re one of the best; I know you were top of your class at Top Gun.” Bradley gives him a nod; he’s really not surprised Ice kept up with him. He'd be more shocked if he hadn’t. “This mission is requiring me to recall twelve of the best fighter pilots from recent Top Gun classes.” He turns back to the laptop; I need to know you’re ok. I need to know, you can forgive him.

Bradley freezes as he reads that; he knows exactly who Ice is talking about without him spelling it out. Ice turns back to him with sad eyes. He has no idea what his uncles would’ve talked about in the years since he last talked to them, but he knows they’ve talked, and he knows they would’ve talked about him. “Sir? What does that have to do with anything?” he finally grits out.

Ice’s head drops just a fraction, and Bradley knows that’s not the answer he was looking for.

“Everything.”

Bradley gets up and paces the room; he doesn’t think he can ever forgive Mav without a proper explanation. He knows the one he got when he confronted Mav about pulling his papers was bullshit, but Uncle Ice hadn’t been willing to tell him the truth either; he backed his wingman all the way, and it cost their relationship too. Ice’s whispered words skate across every nerve ending in his body. He knew now his uncle only spoke when it was important and for him to say “everything,” Bradley knew he meant it.

“Get him to tell me the truth,” Bradley finally gets out, staring at the picture behind Ice’s desk of his two uncles. They were his favorite people growing up. They were there for everything important and especially when his mom got sick. He doesn’t realize how much he’s missed them until this moment, not just Ice, but Mav too. Mav was everything to Bradley growing up, and he doesn’t understand why Mav threw it all away.  

Ice is quiet watching him. “Bradley,” he whispers and the boy’s eyes snap back to him from the picture.

“I’ll try. But you know your uncle is stubborn.”

Bradley huffs a laugh, but nods. “I just want to know the truth, Uncle Ice.” Ice gives him another nod, not revealing his emotions at having the privilege of being called uncle once more. He’s an adult now, he’s not some teenager running strictly on hormones and feelings. He knows the kid could handle it, but he’s not sure Mav can. He motions to the seat once more; he doesn’t want Bradley to go to Top Gun and be blindsided, even though that’s exactly what he’s planning on doing to Maverick. He explains the mission, explains that half the ones recalled will end up staying on the ship in reserve during the mission. And as he watches Bradley take it all in, digest the seriousness of it, he drops the final bomb when Bradley asks who’s teaching them. Because there’s only two people he knows that could pull off a mission this crazy, and he’s looking at one of them. He knows there’s no way Ice is up for teaching again.

Ice just looks at him and Bradley feels his body tensing once more. “No! Ice no. I can’t. There’s no way. He didn’t even make it two months teaching with you before he pissed off Aunt Penny’s dad again.”

Ice snorted at that because it was true; Maverick was excellent at pissing off Admirals and if it wasn't for Ice swooping in and saving the day more than once, Mav would already have been dishonorably discharged. He was fixing to do it again, since he’d just heard how Mav had disobeyed Admiral Cain on the testing project before Bradley arrived, but he knew Mav was the only one for this job.

He’s the only one. You’re one of the twelve being recalled. I need to know this will work.

Bradley read the words over and over. He knew Ice was right, but it didn’t mean he liked it. “I don’t know that I can forgive him, that I can trust him,” Rooster finally grits out.

Ice gives him a sad look, but he understands. “I’ll talk to him. Just promise me you’ll try.”

Rooster gives him another nod after several long moments of silence. “I promise,” he whispers. Aunt Sarah chooses that moment to knock on the door and inform them Bradley was staying for supper and she would hear no arguments. “Yes mam,” he smiles. He turns back to his uncle who stands with him. “I’m not making any promises, but I’ll try. I know you’ll get all the reports. I won’t disrespect him openly. He outranks me anyway, but I want to know the truth. I want to know why he destroyed our family.” He gets it out without crying, which he is rather proud of himself for, and then he pulls his uncle into a hug and tells him how glad he is that Ice requested this meeting. He’s not sure how the coming weeks will go, but he’s grateful Ice gave him the time stateside before everyone else and gave him a chance to prepare for seeing his long lost uncle-pseudo dad.

[aforrestofstuff]

Chapter 149 Expert Review Time

Hey gamers what’s up time for another CHAPTER 👏 REVIEW 👏

It was looking kinda bleak last time for pretty much everyone so I’m hoping things improved this time around, but it seems Murata and ONE are kinda going through their “I’m going to put my characters through the MOST” phase so… that feels unlikely. But nevertheless… still excited to see my favorite boys.

The 10000th Psychic Sister cover. Murata, I’m begging you. There’s literally like 30 other characters to choose from. I know you like drawing boobs but imma need you to put the pencil down for a minute and take a walk because this just ain’t IT.

“Summer is coming” it is July. Summer has been here for ten years. I’m so fucking hot all the time. Everything has been evaporated out of me and I’m literally a raisin.

The Psychic Sisters covers are just so devoid of life a lot of the time… I wouldn’t mind if it was them fighting or engaging in everyday activities but when they’re posed for the camera and deliberately placed there to look sexy it just sucks all the human out of them. The cover/splash page is a great chance to show characters in a new light!!! It’s mostly set away from the story so you can do whatever you want! Choosing to make 80 fanservice covers is just wasted opportunity for what could be additional character development. It’s gotten to a point where even the smegma-slinging bitchboys on Reddit are complaining about the excessive sexy covers…. When PussySlayer384756 complains that there’s too much tittage being shown, that’s how you KNOW we’ve got a problem. Now, idk how the fan climate is in Japan but I can’t imagine they’re feeling much different over there either.

Also, her anatomy is… janky. Her tit is bigger than her head, her belly is too long, and she’s got like 4 spare ribs. Like, I’m by no means an art expert but it doesn’t take a chef to know the soup is shit, you know what I mean? I feel like page after page of Murata drawing obscene muscle men has made him rusty on what should be (somewhat) normal-looking people.

Darkshine learns what TRUE peak male performance looks like.

You’ve gotta wonder how Darkshine even got to the S-Class to begin with when he pussies out of nearly every single fight… except the one where the opponent was literal water. Everyone says that he just joined the association for additional validation, and I believe it… this boy is not cut out for actual hero-ing. 99% Of the time HE’S the one who needs a hero.

It kinda bothers me how useless he’s been post-Garou fight, especially when we spent like an entire chapter trying to console his ass. I get that’s part of his character and development… but it’s begun to slow things down. We get it. We don’t need to see him be insecure every time a new enemy pops up. One was enough. We would’ve gotten the same effect if he just sat out the entire time post-consolation, because everything that’s happened to him on the surface has been kinda redundant.

Here comes the boooyyy 🎶🎶

Nice callback. I’m glad Metal Bat is finally here. Bitch runs slow as fuck.

It’s nice to see him act on his own agency instead of orders from the hero association. He’s clearly much happier when helping out on his own accord, and has a ton of initiative too. The chapter he got with just he and King meeting up and slingshotting themselves to the fight was really a breath of fresh air from all of the fighting. It’s moments like these where ONE remembers that people like OPM for the characters, and not necessarily the pretty action sequences. I really like this duo. I like Metal Bat. I like it when they’re given time to be themselves and not just vessels for the next fight scene.

I know I said I wanted the heroes to die but Murata I’m begging you please don’t kill the child. You can kill Puri, though. I hate that fucker.

Child Emperor regularly visiting and eating with Bofoi even despite being his lab assistant would be a lot cuter if Bofoi wasn’t the human equivalent to a dog turd. I might’ve overstated that… seems like Bofoi is just using him as an errand boy. The clear lack of respect he has for CE is very indicative of his character and is not necessarily a bad thing plot-wise, but I would still like to beat him with a cane. Additionally, it’s clear that he’s not going to help the heroes here. At least, I don’t think so. His “fuck them kids” attitude seems to be a pretty big pillar in the building of his character and I doubt ONE would jeopardize that just because he’s written himself into a corner. Oh, well. We’ll see.

It’s very sweet that even when near death, CE still thinks of Zombieman. Aaaaghh it’s so GOOD when the characters actually LIKE each other. I know realistically not everyone is gonna be friends but man… it would be a lot cooler if we got more insight on their chemistry. Pleaz have more Metal Bat-and-King-esque chapters. I wanna see how everyone gets along.

Also, the concept of Puri just manifesting drilling powers and carving through solid rock with nothing else but pure strength and determination is so funny. A little convenient, sure, but I really don’t care because it’s actually done well. Their reunion scene is hilarious. More stuff like this pleaz….

I don’t even know what to say about Genos here. Dude, I know you made an oath to protect Tatsumaki or whatever, but there’s no shame in a good bail. You can’t even bail anymore because your damn legs are gone. See, this is what happens when you make promises. The secret to keeping your legs intact is doing the bare minimum. Hope this helps ❤️

He’s making a valiant effort but… I’m afraid he just ain’t gonna do much while roleplaying as a worm. Maybe he’ll make a chrysalis and come out as a butterfly. Wait, that’s caterpillars. Fuck. TATSUMAKI IS A GONER, BRO. WE NEED YOU TO BE THE DEUTERAGONIST!! IF YOU DIE WE LOSE 70% OF MERCH SALES NOOOOOOOO

Local man has a heart attack in front of thousands of little monsters and somehow saves the world, more at 5.

King I’m begging you please get that shit checked out that’s not NORMAL.

Yeah, I like this conclusion. Very tasteful cliffhanger. I mean we know King ain’t gonna do shit but SOMEHOW black sperm is gonna get punted like the little cumstain he is. Can’t wait to see the events that unfold next chapter… it seems like every scene that involves King turns out to be really funny and I’m super looking forward to black sperm seeing Jesus.

Also, a little off-topic but I just really like the way Murata inked his pants. Got a real comic book feel to it. I mean, he’s just really good at drawing clothes overall (save for Fubuki’s body-tight dress that is 100% not how women’s clothing works but I digress). Fucker understands fabric physics like I understand how to make a bomb ass chicken parm. I respect it.

In conclusion, lower everyone’s expectations of you and you might get to keep your arms and legs. This has been Life Lessons from Forrest. You now owe me 50$.