#i sorta figured that he would have just gone on and lived his own life after his father died - but then Nyx took over and decided that since

[shelbgrey]

HEY HEY HEY

Dear author, I would like to know if you are taking requests for Twilight? Do you write to Carlisle Cullen? If yes, please I request something for Carlisle Cullen!Wife (in this universe, Esme does not exist). Where others treat her like a mother and she has a certain affinity with wolves (even though she is a vampire). So just a mommy to my vampire clan a best friend/mother figure to my shapeshifter clan 🫶🏻🫶🏻.

I hope I wasn't rude!!!

Carlisle as your husband HCs

Paring: Carlisle Cullen x Wife!Reader

Summary: life as a motherly figure to the wolves and Carlisle being your man.

🩵MasterList 🩵marriage mood board

Carlisle and you:

So I think Carlisle would want you to stay human as long as possible. You knew he'd never turn someone who had a choice, it annoyed you but you weren't gonna push it like Bella did to Edward.

To say the least he was nervous to talk to you at first, you had just gotten a job a pediatric surgeon at the Forks hospital. He was smitten from the moment he saw you. He would say he's a calm and collected man, but when he saw you he lost all confidence.

It would probably take him a bit for him to talk to you rather your mates or not, this was the first time he actually felt shy around a woman. He would steal glances at you all the time at work and admire you from a far.

You would always smile at him and be so kind and gentle. That being said you actually asked him out, that pissed off the whole femal staff of the hospital. You so confidently asked him to see a movie with you and he immediately said yes.

“Yes! I mean I w-would love too, thank you for the offer... I-it's a date”

You guys get married before you changed. From the day you started to dating up until your weddings you guys just sorta lived in the moment.

There was times he would be nervous or scared that he'd hurt you but he wasn't a big baby about like your dear son Eddie. You trusted him with your life and being around you for so long the fear was gone quickly.

So, I said he'd never turn someone who had a choice, well unfortunately you got sick around the time you turned the same age as him. There's no amount of words that explain the sadness Carlisle felt when he heard you had cancer, but on the bright side he could turn you and you wouldn't be in any more pain.

The family welcomed you with open arms and the kids got attached quickly. They all love you and you treat them like they were your own children.

Carlisle is and will always be husband meteral. He treats you like a queen and you guys even sorta acted like a married couple even before you actually tied the knot.

He's very affectionate person with you. Always kissing your forehead or hugging you.

If you want attention you'll seek it, it doesn't matter if he's reading or doing paperwork you'll cuddle up to his chest and he'll continue working.

He loves having you in his lap while he's doing God knows what in his office. He'll have you against his chest and he'll his rest his chin on your shoulder and continue working.

“Doc, you almost done?” you asked, playing with the buttons on his shirt.

Yeah, you call him Doc. You use that more than his actual name, that and Carr. If he hears his actual names he thinks he's in trouble.

“Hey, Carlisle can you come here please!” you shouted from another room.

His eyes widened and he raced into the living room where you were. “What did I do?”

You raised an eyebrow confused. “nothing that I know of, what's wrong with you?”

“why did you call me that?” he asked with puppy eyes, yeah he's been around Emmett for too long.

You chuckled a bit. “Can you please get that book for me” you said pointing to the high shelf. “of course” he nodded relived he didn't do anything wrong.

If he dose something wrong Emmett will rat him out, trust me.

His kisses are always full of passion and love. He makes sure you know your the only girl he wants and since your a vampire he isn't afraid to hurt you, but that doesn't mean he's rough with you or just doesn't care.

You guys dance alot too, at night when the right song is playing you guys just sway around in your room without a care in the world.

He loves leaving love notes for you, sometimes he'll just put them around the house for you to find. Sometimes it'll be on the bathroom mirror other times it'll be on your nightstand. They're always so sweet and loving

'If I were to kiss you and then go to hell I would, so then I can brag with the devils I saw heaven without even entering it.'

And the sex... 😏

You make him watch a lot of medical shows and vampire movies with you.

If your watching greys anatomy be prepared for him to correct EVERYTHING.

“that's not how that surgery works” he said rolling his eyes, the show actually aggravates him sometimes and it's not because of the drama and their bad decisions is because they get medical stuff wrong.

“it's just a show dear”

“Derek Shepard doesn't know shit” he mumbles.

I don't think you relize this man would do anything for you. He'll kill for you and he's not a violent man.

Your relationship with the Cullen kids:

You've always had this motherly personality and you love being around kids, this would probably lead you to baby the Cullens a lot. This would drive Carlisle crazy a bit especially when you start doing things they are well capable of doing.

“Emmett she shouldn't have to do your laundry”

You shrugged carring a basket of everyones clothes. “I was washing stuff anyway”

But that doesn't mean you don't know when to put your foot down. You can be very stern when you need to be, something it even makes Carlisle nervous.

You made a rule that the boys aren't allowed to wrestle in the house not, not after Emmett accidentally pushed Edward threw the wall and completely destroying the living room wall. You and carlisle came home from work and a deer had wondered into the house. You grounded them both.

“well I hope you guys don't have anything planed this weekend beacuse you're spending it fixing the wall.” you said.

There are times your the mean parent and carlisle is the gentle parent. Not in a bad way of corse it only happens when needed but then you immediately feel bad for yelling at them.

“Emmett your grounded, no video games till the garage is fixed”

“you can't ground me, I'm a grown ass man” all the kids and even Carlisle went wide eyed at how Emmett talked to you. He said in a playful manner in his defense, you guys have that type of teasing relationship. The others missed thst.

“can she do that!?” he quickly asked Carlisle, Rosalie quickly butted in. “she's queen of the castle she can do whatever she wants” carlisle smiled and agreed with a nod.

You and Rosalie have a strong bond, she goes to with anything and everything having full confidence you can help her.

Sometimes you guys will just ditch Carlisle and Emmett so you can just sit and talk.

Alice is very attached to you, almost like a young kid would be to their parent. Holding you hand sometimes or having her head on your shoulder while you're watching a movie.

You pick each other's outfits and sometimes intentionally match.

Emmett, Jasper, Edward... They are all mama's boys and you can't change my mind. Emmett is the trouble maker but honestly he's babbied the most. Edward treats well and loves you and so dose Jasper.

You love Edward but you don't like Bella, you'd never tee him that, but she's just a headache to be around.

Your not a hateful person and you believe everyone deserves a chance, but when's he's consently putting your husband and the other kids in danger you don't take that lightly. Especially when Edward decided he couldn't love without her and tried to get the vulturi to kill him.

You weres so angry you started to cry when you weres scolding him.

Your the only one who understands why Rosalie doesn't like being around her.

“We're stuck with her Rose, let's try and stay civil”

You and the wolf pack:

You've known both the Uleys and the Black's for a long time. You Became friends with them long before the Cullens showed up.

You and Sam grew up together, naturally you helped him with every single pack member when they phased.

You treat them all like little brothers, you'd take a bullet for them but at the same time you want to knock their heads together.

At the beginning you understood, but the pack wasn't too keen on Carlisle and the whole situation. The young ones like Jacob and Seth who at the time didn't know the truth was there to cheer you on though.

Your very protective of both Seth and Jacob. You jokingly call them your sons.

The pack has huge respect for it which is why they all willingly help you and the Cullens, they know if they want to keep you safe then they have to help the vampires.

You guys take care of each other.

After a while they grow to like Carlisle, Sam respects him and he's just happy that your happy. And of course Carlisle treating you like a queen helps too.

Seth liked him right off the bat and carlisle even became a father figure to him.

You help keep the peace for both sides and in the end your the glue and the reason that keeps them together.

[lotuspeacock]

what the fuck even happened episode 8????

like, plotwise i know what happened but like there’s so much new info i’m processing.

rei dresses like that not for the professionalism of the job, but because his father expects him to look high-class even when he’s murdering people

anna’s musical talents literally traumatize children.

rei’s father has a god complex about his bloodline

the “organization” is more or less run by rei’s father. this is why kyutaro said that rei should know best what happens when you betray the organization, because every childish rebellion was treason on the organization.

rei doesn’t get too close to kazuki because the consequence if he does are dire.

side note: when rei says he has something to protect, he’s not just talking about miri. there is no mistaking that kazuki is precious to rei.

when rei is asked “did you find true belonging on the outside” he denies it. this is probably because he wants to protect kazuki and miri but it could also be because rei genuinely believes that he doesn’t truly belong in their little family. i believe this changes by the end when rei sees that kazuki and miri were waiting for him just to see him smile.

this is from a few other posts i saw, but rei’s mission was a warning. a peek into the consequences of forming attachments.

a continuation of point six, we see rei standing in his family home, feeling completely estranged while he’s on the phone with kazuki and miri being told to be back by dinner.

rei never seemed to be affected by his job before. but in the car with ogino he expresses shock at the picture of his mentors murdered wife. and the picture seems to be taken in the goriest way. rei is opening his heart to his family and as a consequence, he has to face the reality that he is not just killing, but taking lives.

“for the concept” WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN???? this man makes me so uncomfortable he is so goddamn psychotic. he definitely kills for fun even though he pretends its some big philosophical thing. essentially he was saying people exist to die. also his fucking blue eyed stare 🧿👄🧿

WAIT WAIT WAIT THEYRE TOTAL FOILS OF EACH OTHER. rei and his mentor that is. they both have that single slut strand.

miri is extremely insightful. she notices when someone close to her is hiding their dissatisfaction with life - what she calls “sadness”. her mom was dissatisfied with her life as a single mother and rei is dissatisfied with living under his father’s boot.

rei didn’t tell ogino his mentor’s last words because they weren’t meant for him (but probably also cuz ogino is a creep sob). rei “didn’t hear” anything because the words were directed to someone already gone.

this is less a plot point but more a personal analysis - i was sorta hoping that kazuki would show up during the fight and save rei, and he does! he saves rei, but not during the fight because that’s not really where rei was struggling. rei needed to be saved from his own belief that he was irredeemable, and kazuki did that perfectly bu showing rei that no matter what, he’ll be there. unconditionally. i mean, the man didn’t even ask about all the blood on his suit. (another i won’t ask i wouldn’t tell moment)

kazuki cut rei’s hair and decorated the apartment. when rei said “but then you suddenly started cleaning”, he’s saying that he didn’t care about kazuki until kazuki taught him how to care. when kazuki barged into rei’s apartment and cleaned the blood stained hands of a child assassin, he also cleared a space for himself in rei’s life. (side note: of course the undercut was kazuki’s idea)

“you think we can change?” god this was such a good quote. and the way kazuki doesn’t put up a front and say “of course” because he’s trying to figure out if he can change too, so he just says “dunno” but its so sincere and hopeful. i love the dichotomy of kazuki not knowing if he can change because he’s spent the past 4 years trying not to and rei not knowing if he can change because he doesn’t know how to. at the root, it’s because they both see themselves as unforgivable.

continuation of points six and eight, rei smiles when he’s home with his family.

oh my god the angst just doesn’t stop.

[not-xpr-art]

Len and Tommy's life told through nine photos ~

A fanart based on the Inside no 9 episode 'Bernie Clifton's Dressing Room' because I loved it so much!

(09/2024)

See below for close ups and unnecessarily detailed explanations of each individual artwork lol

First wanna say that I spent wayy too long on these (like 25+ hours), especially trying to make them look like actual old photos lol... also trying to get their likeness right for the various ages was really bloody hard lol, but hopefully each photo has the essence of each character even if it might not look 100% right pfft...

Second thing is that the dates & locations are very much my own subjective thoughts on their life and not particularly rooted in the canon of the show lol

Also I did go really heavy with the colour symbolism lol...

Ravenhill School, 1965.

The year they met, both are around the age of 10 (give or take). Len is 3 from the left in the top row, Tommy 2 in from the left on the bottom row (also I tried to include references to the other 2 League Of Gentlemen guys... Though I think the only vaguely recognisable one is Jeremy pfft)

Also shout out to @lapis-lazuliie for the idea that they met at school!

(side note, this is the least detailed of all the paintings not just because I was too lazy to render all those children's faces pfft but ALSO because of the significance of them being less recognisable or prominent in each other's lives in this point...)

I was planning on making another childhood/early teen photo but couldn't really think of any good subject matter that could also fit thematically with the episode (also the fact both are coming from poor families who would have had limited access to cameras in this era means we can just pretend that there are just no photos that really exist of them at these ages pfft...)

Photo booth in Leeds, 1974.

Both in their late teens, they'd (well, mainly Tommy) gone to a photo booth in Leeds with the intention of getting some professional looking photos only for Len to immediately make Tommy laugh once they got in there lol

The middle photo is covered in lines as Tommy had planned on throwing it away, only to find he couldn't bring himself to do it in the end... Is it platonic? Romantic? Both? Who knows, you decide lol! I mainly wanted it to be a candid moment between two people that love each other lol

(final one is them play fighting because that's kinda just what 19 year olds are like pfft... also I think photo booths technically gave you 4 photos? so let's pretend there was another photo that they did throw away for whatever reason lol...)

Rehearsals, 1979.

Deep in the midst of practising their routine for some of their first performances!

I'll admit this photo was mainly me wanting to include something more episode specific lol and also to get in some much needed heavy handed symbolism (the crease in the photo separating them, the bottle in front of Len's face, etc)

Polaroids taken at Tommy's flat, 1985.

In-between shows the two often spent a lot of time at Tommy's place (featuring that god awful sofa the previous home owner had left). I did originally plan to have them in the sofa shot together, but was finding it hard to figure out who would have been taking that kind of photo so figured it made more sense to make it shots they took of each other.

Also marks the beginnings of Tommy's weariness (& Len's over drinking...)

Outside the Glasgow Pavilion, 1988.

The morning of that fateful performance...

Ok not much else I wanna say about this other than the reference I used for the pose had Reece sorta awkwardly clasping his hands in front of him which I really liked but unfortunately in my art it just looked like he was trying to cover his crotch so I had to change it pfft...

Tommy standing at Len's grave, 2024.

The sixth anniversary of Len's death, and the sixth time Tommy has travelled across from France to lay flowers at his grave. Photo taken by Leanne from the inside of a taxi (I'd like to have had more references to her in these photos but was unsure of dates/ages where it would have fitted...)

She couldn't get her phone to not focus on the raindrops on the window as she tried to take a picture of Tommy at her father's grave but then realised that she actually liked the pathetic fallacy and had it made into a print anyway lol (look I'll be the first to admit that this is the least 'realistic' in terms of a photo that people would take, but I couldn't resist the symbolism of it lol...)

There were a lot more ideas for photos I wanted to do but for obvious reasons had to keep it to just 9 lol

Also will be posting these on my ao3 with snippets of stories to go with each photo so keep an eye out for when I share that link!

[whateverisbeautiful]

♥️Reveling in Richonne - TOWL

#31: The Heart Rip (1.04)

gif cred: @kimwexlersponytail

Rick has convinced himself that Michonne leaving without him is the only way and yet when she does leave, it quickly becomes clear that going their separate ways is extremely painful for them both. It's in every way heart-ripping. And so while their figurative distance will remain a bit longer in this episode, we see that of course these magnets can't help but close the literal distance as Rick runs after her...

At first, when Michonne leaves the apartment she’s all stubbornly walking trying to seem like she feels resolved over leaving Rick. But then she stops and I know there’s a part of her so eagerly hoping she’ll hear that door open and Rick will have come to his senses. But that moment doesn't come just yet 😢.

They cut to Rick inside the apartment still frozen in place. And this is a big moment where the breathing tells the story because he has this labored breath as he starts to panic.

Michonne stays standing in the hallway as she fights back tears. But her tear can’t help but fall. And I just 😭. She cries, I cry. It’s the rules. Richonne going seperate ways like this when they're magnets is no easy thing and I know it makes them both feel horrible. ☹️

gif cred: @figmentof

Michonne turns around toward the door and her standing alone in that hallway is such a sad confirmation that it really isn’t her Rick in that apartment, because her Rick would have most definitely gone after her by now. Really Michonne wouldn't have even made it to the doorknob with her Rick.

gif cred: @perryabbott

I like that we get to see both Rick and Michonne’s responses to this pivotal and painful moment of potentially walking out of each other's lives for good. It sorta reminds me of the beautiful season 4 moment when Michonne sees Rick and Carl in that house in After.

That’s another moment where Rick and Michonne are on opposite sides of a wall and reacting to each other both with a similar shade of elation over being back together.

gif cred: notabadday

And now in TOWL, Richonne are on opposite sides of a wall with a similar shade of devastation over being apart. Both of them are experiencing that heart-being-ripped-out-of-their-chest moment that Rick will detail a bit later. 

gif cred: @ricksmarlene

I love that Michonne stands there for a good while just breathing and waiting. It feels like another act of belief in him that maybe just maybe he’ll still pull through. And it shows that while she’s walking away, every part of her doesn’t want to give up on him.

Meanwhile, the magnets in Rick have him already at the door knob as he hesitantly touches it but then refrains.

gif cred: @riickgrimes

And then this breathing moment from him by the door is very notable to me because it’s very similar to the breathing moment he’ll have during a certain panic attack later in the episode.

And the way he’s panicking in both moments really hammered home the point to me that Rick is both terrified of losing Michonne and terrified of having her. He’s convinced himself he’s a poison thanks to the target Jadis and the CRM have on his back. And so even here as he hesitates by the door I always get the sense that he genuinely thinks it would be selfish of him to go after her because he knows that being with her can put her in harm's way.

gif cred: @riickgrimes

What’s interesting about Rick’s struggle in ep3/4 is it has to be so extra jarring internally because he’s lived his life the last 7 or 8 years not feeling almost any emotion and now here he is reunited with the person who literally makes his heart burst with emotion more than anyone else. And he’s wrestling with how he feels like turning his heart back on could be dangerous for her and him.

But I also appreciate how when Michonne leaves the apartment it’s not all just to get Rick to open his eyes, she’s also feeling the fullness of her own feelings and acting out of that. And again, I was glad that she gets to go through this not solely as someone aiding Rick along his own journey but as someone really dealing with a lot herself and it stirs up emotions for her too that she has to navigate through.

So Michonne waits a little while longer in the hall, decides she can’t wait anymore, and starts to head out. I like that she didn’t go back inside the apartment because at this point Rick needed to be the one to chase after her and show that he absolutely does not want the two of them to part ways. 

gif cred: @taiturner

I’ve seen debate on whether Michonne really was gonna leave or would she have ultimately come back. In my opinion, she really is leaving, just not hastily. Like I think she would be walking real slow to that car lol and might even wait a little after that just hoping he’d make his way to her. But if it became clear that Rick really wasn’t coming, she’d know he’d made his choice and she’d head home. (for the time being at least, because the way she's an A and the way she and Rick are soulmates I feel like at some Michonne might come back with a little army of her own to break him out of there) 

Rick struggles to collect himself as he breathes heavily by the door and Michonne is halfway down the stairs, so he will need to make a decision fast. Rick finally takes one deep breath and then he rushes out the door.

gif cred: @riickgrimes

His face when he opens the door looks like he feels like he’s making a decision against his better judgment since he thinks the best thing for the two of them is to part. But I was like Rick, going after your wife is the best possible decision you could have made. 👏🏽 Just like how more figuratively going after her all those years ago was the best decision he made. I’m glad he let his heart and those magnets in him lead the way here. 😌

gif cred: @nerd4music

When he leaves they pan over to the window where a CRM helicopter comes to destroy evidence of the crash. And just gotta say that window with the scenery is so pretty. TOWL’s cinematography in every episode is so aesthetically pleasing. 😍

So then Michonne stands at the entrance and stares at the walkers out front with just a clenched kitchen knife in hand. And I honestly think one of the few reasons she waits is because she still wants to give Rick a chance, cuz I know she’s not hesitant about these walkers outside. Like sis was about to go through a biblical-sized horde in ep 2 so these walkers can’t be giving her pause like that. Even if all she has is a lamp stick and a kitchen knife.

And sure enough, Rick is running to the rescue and I love to see him booking it to get to her.

gif cred: @riickgrimes

This running moment was giving epic love story. 😊 And I always say all versions of Rick love Michonne, including Dead Rick so of course he can’t let her leave. Been true since season 3. 💯

Just when Michonne is about to be affected by the blast from the CRM, Rick arrives just in time to throw himself on her and shield her with his body. I love how he does this act of protection without question. And the way they make eye contact and linger a little bit while he’s on top of her. Again, straight out of a love story and I’m here for it. 😊 Like it’s 0.5 seconds and still hot.

gif cred: @coolpartytimefan

And never have two people needed to get it on after shutting off that sexual side of themselves for almost 8 years. Similar to the episode 3 kiss, this moment just lets you know…they’re ready. 👌🏽

But that time is not now, even tho they do nearly get lost in their Richonne bubble with him on top of her like that for the first time in years.

gif cred: @nat111love

The glass doors have shattered and walkers are coming inside in droves so Rick looks back and then helps Michonne up so they can run upstairs. I can never exactly tell if they’re holding hands when they run upstairs but in my eyes they are. 😌

The scene ends with them in the background as we see Michonne has lost her kitchen knife...and not having her weapon will soon lead to some comedy between these two. 🤭

gif cred: @taiturner

I love that this episode all takes place in one location and what’s extra smart is that it takes place in one location without having to take place in just one room. So this is where we get to see Rick and Michonne explore the rest of the building as they try and figure out their next moves to get out safely. 

They try different doors and then one of my favorite moments is this moment under the red light when Michonne starts coughing and Rick immediately checks on her. Ooh it’s so good. 😍

gif cred: @machonnes

I appreciate that her coughing gives some continuity to the fact that Michonne had her lungs burned from the CRM attack. I’m glad that’s not just a forgotten major thing that she went through. And it’s such a small detail but I always like that she seems to turn to Rick just before she starts coughing almost like instinctually needing him and Rick is instantly right there reaching for her instinctually too. 🥰

I love the way the music gets all soft and the framing of it with her against the wall and him so close to her as he gently and lovingly asks, “Are you okay?” Michonne says yeah and then even more gently Rick asks, “Are you sure?” cuz you know he wants to be absolutely sure she’s good.

It will forever make me happy to see Michonne be treated with care and consideration by her man. You know the Grimes family care to check on each other even if it's just a cough. 🥰

gif cred: @machonnes

Michonne says, “Yeah. You?” And my heart will also always melt seeing Richonne take care of each other. They’re the sweetest. 🥹 Like even after all that fighting and nearly walking away from each other, it’s moments like this one where they check on each other that always make it clear that Richonne loves each other with everything in them. That’s their baby fr. 🥲

Then I really love the weightedness of this wordless moment when Rick hears her ask “You?” And he has this moment of just silently staring at her and then ever so subtly nodding. It’s so sweet and layered to me. 🥺

gif cred: @machonnes

Because one; Rick knows that on a larger scale, he’s not okay but he’s trying to be for them. Two; while he’s not mentally okay, he is more okay now that he’s back with her and I think in this moment he knows that being with her is what most feels right. It sorta reminds me of the ep 1 dream when she asks if he’s where he wants to be and he assuredly says yeah.

Three; it’s been years since someone cared about Rick like this and you can just see it be so foreign but appreciated that she also wants to know that he’s okay. 🥲 And four; I love how it feels like he gets lost in her for moment. That’s the Rick I know. 😌 And I love the way they’re swaying and holding onto each other. It’s a romantic visual.

gif cred: @machonnes

But y’all, Danai then demonstrated that she doesn’t just know how to write drama and romance cuz she's got a great grasp on comedy too. And she proves it in this next moment. 😋

Richonne is yanked out of their bubble yet again by approaching walkers so they run and have two different ideas of what they need to do next.

gif cred: @nat111love

Rick thinks they need to find a way out but Michonne thinks right now they need to hunker down somewhere til the numbers thin out.

Rick disagrees and he goes full CRM saying, “We do that we get trapped. We can’t breach from this high up. Even if it’s a defensible position.”

gif cred: @figmentof

Michonne is fed the hell up with this CRM-lingo and so she’s quick to respond telling Rick, “I don’t even have a weapon, Commando, so how are we supposed to get past all those walkers?” 😂

gif cred: @figmentof

And then she expresses clear disdain for his solider terminology with 'the defensible position' and it cracks me all the way up. 🤣

gif cred: @figmentof

Rick notes the shady nickname saying, “Commando, really?” Which cracks me up too. 😂 It was giving husband and wife who know exactly how to push each other's buttons lol.

And this testy marital banter is gold. I like how one moment they’re being so incredibly sweet and soft with each other and the next they’re ribbing each other. We got us a versatile couple, y’all. 😋

gif cred: @figmentof

And they know this fight ain’t over yet so until it’s fully resolved these little moments of opposition are gonna keep popping up. 

The building's walls start cracking so Michonne tells Rick to come into the gym area to hunker down.

gif cred: @taiturner

And y’all, as you know, this next superbly acted scene is where things get very very interesting and emotions rise even higher.

This gym scene is also where Michonne says my absolute favorite thing she’s ever told Rick. 🤩

And then Rick...well…

The Richonne hallway moment gave us a bit of love and levity, but in this next gym scene, we see Richonne hit their lowest point. 😥👌🏽

[malrie]

for: @jasipereo, who told me i should what: in the burning maze, apparently they fly off together after jason dies and nothing happens at all. this is the nothing. wc: 1700

-

Piper had grown out her hair since Leo saw her last. He touched the ends of it, feeling the familiar softness between his fingers.

“Did you get taller?” she asked, voice strained from having cried so much. He didn’t see her expression; she was sitting in front of him on Festus, facing only the white sky. 

“I dunno,” he said, because he didn’t. Time was strange in that other place. To him, he’d been gone for only a moment. As if he hadn’t been lost at all.

She leaned backwards. Without having to ask, Leo let the internal heat from his body migrate to her. They were just below plane altitude, maybe four or five miles in the air. It was cold, but he wouldn’t let her be.

Had Piper not been there, Leo would have pried the casket open and crawled inside to lie beside him. He was sure of it. The instinct was nonsensical, even desperate, and still it pulled him like water down a drain. He wanted to see him again. He wanted to see him with his eyes closed, as though he were only asleep. And Jason had always been a peaceful sleeper. 

Back then, Piper’s iron grip on his forearm had anchored him. Maybe she felt the urge, too. Maybe they could have all fit inside. There, they could have dreamt as one, having found peace in a place where nothing could tear them apart. Together again.

“You did,” she replied. “Get taller, I mean. Just a little.”

*

Piper had a room in her grandpa’s ranch house that she hadn’t used since she was eleven. Leo inspected the off-white lace curtains, the stuffed animals on the bookshelves. She had a pink CD player and a Hello Kitty pillowcase. It was strange to be confronted with the idea that she had lived a life before him.

He helped her unpack what little she brought with her. Downstairs, Leo heard Coach’s booming timbre, comforting in its own way. He and Mellie would stay in the guest room with Chuck, leaving Leo to fend for himself in the den.

“What’re you gonna do now?” asked Piper, folding shirts and sorting them in a dresser.

Leo laid on her carpet, eyeing the glow-in-the-dark stars stuck on the ceiling. “Calypso wants to enroll in school. I tried telling her secondary education was a shithole, but she wanted to experience it herself. As for me, I’m never going back. S’one of the conditions I made for living at the Waystation.”

Piper paused in her folding. Then she started up again on a pile of sweaters. She lingered on a blue one that read: Edgarton Day and Boarding School. 

“I’m starting Tahlequah High next week,” she said. 

“I’ll be sure to make your grad party, beauty queen.”

He figured. Piper liked school enough; he knew she never missed an assignment at Wilderness. Meanwhile, Leo turned every packet he got into paper planes, letting them ride the Nevada gust out his dormitory window.

“If you’re not finishing school,” she continued, “what’ll you do? Help Hemithea and Josephine?”

“That’s sorta the plan.” Leo rubbed his eyes. The stars were too old to hold any glow. “I guess… I guess I just want something to keep busy. Maybe teach shop for the kids for however long. After that, I don’t know. Being in one place too long… I’m not real good at that.”

“So no camp?”

He couldn’t help but laugh. “No, no camp. You?”

“No,” Piper said, then laughed along with him.

He knew she didn’t mean she hated either camp, their friends, or their community—they only needed distance, measured and in moderation. Jason was everywhere, after all. His lifeblood was camp legacy. In a way, that was what had taken him from them. The gods had owed Jason ten times over and this was how he was repaid. There was nothing for Leo there, least of all loyalty. It seemed Piper felt the same, even if only mirroring an inch of his resentment. 

They ate dinner. Tristan still had some lost pallor, but his charisma was hard to chip at, especially when his daughter needed him. Toothless Chuck gummed around a piece of squash while the rest of them ate a meal cooked by a friend of the family. People had been in and out of the house all day; their fridge was stocked for the entire week. The McLeans had roots here. They were loved and welcomed. Leo and Piper had stayed inside her room like homebodies until the visitors had all left.

While Mellie put Chuck down for bed, Tristan and Coach cleared the table and washed the dishes. Piper told Leo that they’d probably go out on the porch and smoke some of her grandad’s tobacco pipes once they were done, a vice her dad failed to keep secret from her.

Snickering, they imagined Coach hacking a lung while ambling upstairs to her grandpa’s study. Her grandfather kept books on topics that ranged from Indigenous history to psychology to science fiction. Aside from the collection, there was a desk with a swivel chair and a large claw-footed single-seater sofa in the corner of the room, just by the window.

Leo grabbed a book off the shelf just for the fun of it and plopped down on the sofa. The words swam around on the pages. Even if he could read it, he doubted he could parse analytical biochemistry jargon.

“I used to come up here when Grandpa was doing his lesson plans,” said Piper. Tom McLean was a structural biology professor. “I’d beg for him to play with me, but he’d just say, ‘My love, you cannot have what you want the instant you desire it.’ I liked that. Not even then was it easy for people to say no to me. He was the only one.”

Looking out the window, Leo saw the shine of Festus’s wings in the darkness. The dragon was hunkered down in the yard, closest to sleep as automatons could get.

“I’ll leave in the morning,” Leo said. He rested his gaze on the horizon, which bled into the night. “Calypso’s waiting for me.”

“I know.” Piper came over to him, gently pulling the textbook away from his grasp. It forced him to look at her.

A beat passed. “I’m sorry, Piper. About Jason.”

She smiled wryly, placing Clinical Biochemistry: Techniques and Instrumentation onto the side table. She asked, “Why are you saying sorry to me?”

He wasn’t sure what she meant by that. She stood over him, the moonlight from outside overlaying her skin like a filter, the image of an aching spector. Her face was unreadable, but tonight her eyes were one color. It was borrowed, and it was the color of his own heart: Electric blue, as vibrant as the sky once a storm had cleared. Jason.

Still standing, she raised a hand, placing it over his arm in an innocuous touch. “You loved him, too,” she said. Leo’s hackles rose, but it was true and—now that Jason was dead—harmless. “Leo, we weren’t together anymore. I broke up with him. After you died, I couldn’t… I couldn’t work it out. Work us out. Because without you, it was like… Like the lights had gone out.”

His hand grabbed her wrist, wanting to rip it away, but he couldn’t. “Wait. I-I don’t want to hear this,” he said.

If only she had never brought it up. Mellie had told him earlier in the day, with Chuck on her hip and wearing a worried frown. Piper and Jason had split some months ago. They never explained further than what they had told everyone.

“I thought,” she kept going, “that if you had come back, maybe Jason and I could have—with you… But we never got a chance.”

“Piper,” he said firmly, getting up from the seat to grab her shoulders. “You have to stop.”

“It isn’t fair. Don’t you think it isn’t fair?” Jason’s eyes watched him shake.

“I’m leaving tomorrow, at dawn. I’m moving to Indiana. I’ll come for birthdays, special days. We’ll see each other at reunions. I’ll Iris you—every day if you want! It’ll be good. Like we always were. Like we were before everything. Don’t do this, Piper.”

“You can’t stay,” she whispered. “I know because it happened to me, too. It hurt to be with him because you weren’t there. And I know what you see when you look at me. What color are my eyes, Leo? Whose are they? He used to see yours.”

It had to happen, just once, even if never again for the rest of their lives. It wasn’t even their first kiss, which had happened a lifetime ago, on some forgettable rooftop in a place that never loved them. He shivered a little as her hands came up to his neck. There was salt in his mouth from her tears. Piper made small noises, gasping in increments when they could bear parting. They tumbled back to a bookshelf, hard edges jutting against Leo’s spine.

It was important that he was the one to speak first. Not because he didn’t trust her not to compel him, but to prove that he knew she wouldn’t. Not for this.

“I’ll leave in the morning,” repeated Leo, thumb rolling down her jaw. “That’s hours away.”

*

Leo got up before the sun did. Oklahoma mornings were crisp and new, almost impossibly so. The fog in the distance cleared around the McLean property, grass dewing with small beads of fresh water. Standing on the porch now, Leo knew this could be a good home, one filled with love.

Tristan McLean saw him come out of Piper’s room. He didn’t react much, only telling him to be safe on his journey back. He’d also shaken his hand like a real man and said, “She’s stronger than I’d ever hoped.”

“Stronger than me,” Leo replied, smiling.

Seeing him, Festus crooned in happy creaks, shaking out his stiffness. As Leo took off, he saw the curtains in Piper’s window move, almost nothing. Just in case, he brought up his hand to wave goodbye.

[isa-ghost]

Birds of a Feather AU

General Concept

Somehow someway, following the events of QSMP, hc!Phil and o!Phil cross paths while o!Phil is in a minor crisis. Surviving on his own while searching for his parents is going,,, not well. But luckily, this "old fuck" he's encountered has seemingly infinite wisdom about life and survival, which is-- whether he wants to admit it or not --exactly what he needs.

Little do either of them know, they have strangely similar yet distinctly unique traumas, and the longer they spend time together, the more they'll start to heal each other as a sort of Mentor And Apprentice dynamic develops.

hc!Phil

Is also SMPEarth!Phil, c!Phil, and q!Phil. All lore from those SMPs apply to him. All of my qPhil headcanons also apply to him.

Typical vaguely slutty /j fanon Phil outfit. Also has his Antarctic Empire outfit, and his Quesadilla Island "vacation" outfit (a beach coverup like his robe, a sunhat like his normal hat, and a green print Hawaiian shirt.) (Hopefully I'll eventually draw that)

Trust and attachments are complicated for him. He can't help but develop them, it's only natural, but with losing Chay & Lullah so recent in his mind, the wound is raw and he's once again gone back to keeping everyone he meets at arm's length or further away. He is NOT going to be happy stumbling across o!Phil, especially when they just,, kinda become stuck with each other.

o!Phil

Obviously the cameo from Rats SMP applies to him. I might also apply Phil's cameo in ASMP to o!Phil even though that wasn't o!Phil just because they were sorta similar in personality.

Goes by Crowfather. Phil has, in Crowfather's words: annoyingly, nicknamed him "Crowley"

Basically 1:1 with his skin but like. The hot brooding fanart versions people make. Basically looks like a bougie goth aristocrat but bird. Has more actual bird traits whereas Phil is more just,, a dude with wings and bird mannerisms (perching, collecting shiny things, etc)

Is this weird equilibrium between being cold as fuck and sociable. Is an entitled snot at the worst of times and a clearly clueless, golden spoon-fed tory who doesn't know a damn thing about the real world at best. He's been forced into this position by Circumstances (his parents being MIA) and is still working through figuring out how to be an independent and actually likeable person.

Phil is teaching him the above, at least the independence part. Unlike Crowley, Phil has lived for god knows how long and that's given him tons of life experience and wisdom to pass on.

Deep inside, he's just severely hurt and traumatized. Still not a good person outside as a result, but much of the outside would change if the inside healed.

Misc Plot & Lore Stuff

Vague Plot

Phil & Crowley's Dynamic

Crowley's Character Development

[cannotgiveafuck]

I don’t tend to age Billy passed like 12, or even young teenagerhood for some snippets, just as a personal preference thing, but I have another Billy Batson concept - where Billy, now entering adulthood is a grown man and closer to Marvel’s supposed age and looks. No longer is Marvel some child fantasy of being Grown Up, because now he IS a grown up. And how would that conscious inner awareness go, with those streams crossing.

Like, he gets mistaken as Marvel by someone. Maybe it’s the black hair and blue eyes or maybe it’s the way he smiles with his whole face and laughs with his whole body. But it’s obvious that he’s NOT, ya know. Billy isn’t as big and strong, doesn’t have the height or muscle or radiating magical aura that draws others in. But still it’s the first time as BILLY that a stranger has seen / thought of him as Captain Marvel.

And it gets to him.

In a way that has him staring at his own reflection. Because he always thought Marvel looked like his dad - C.C. Batson. He’s thought that the moment he turned into Marvel. And he knows that it is reasonable for him to grow and look like his father. But he never thought about the next step of him, Billy Batson, looking like Marvel when he grew up. And now he’s staring at this face that sorta looks like his dad and sorta looks like Marvel and is all Billy, and it hits him that he’s there at that point of existence he never thought he’d live long enough to reach.

Like a Lost Boy all grown up.

And he doesn’t know if he’s disappointed or elated that he doesn’t look exactly like Marvel. That he looks close enough sometimes, at certain angles or when he does something reminiscent. Wonders if maybe he should work out more or instead dye his hair a completely different color. 

Then he wonders what changes to himself he could do that would transfer onto Marvel. Because Marvel is more an avatar than an actual body, but it’s the ideal Mighty Mortal body taken from the blueprint of Billy Batson, so why wouldn’t different hair or a tattoo show up? Thats all different from the scars he has, the Lichtenburg figures and the evidence of a hard life at a young age permanently marring his skin. 

And how eerie that must be, now so close to Marvel’s build and physique, to look upon the proof of his mortality and life, and see them gone from the other body that no longer feels like he’s a kid wearing an adult suit. Left wondering if he’s going to keep aging, if he’ll keep living, and one day look older than Marvel, or if this is where it stops. If there was ever a Champion that lived long enough to see that, too.

[moonlight-sonata99]

The Matchmakers

The Bad Batch x Reader

In which the batch tries to set you two up but you two are secretly dating~

Hunter

All of you were walking in a city getting food,so your looking at stalls.

I imagine you two wanna hold hands but just side eye each other

It's just one of those days where your just so in love with someone

"Don't wander off omega..!" you call after her as she runs to a stall holds souvenir's and colorful goodies

"What is that?!" Wrecker says following omega echo and tech following after them as you and hunter gaze at them,

"So much for wandering off..." Hunter trails off walking next to you,

"Yea..well!on the bright side,you're stuck with me now"you say slowly walking ahead of him and he smiles softly chuckling as well. "You would like that wouldn't you?" he questions rushing up to you as you smile and look at him "Mhm!and..especially because there gone." you state bluntly as you nod your head towards the stall omega and boys where only to see no one there. Hunter's eyes widened and surveyed the other stalls "Hey hey...She's with the boys,she's okay." you reassure, softly taking his hand and holding them in your own. Hunters shoulder lower as he looks at you and and lets out a breathe

"Alright...where were we?"

"hm...ah that you're stuck with me" you reply, bringing yourself closer to him. As he lets out a airy chuckle and shakes his head.

Echo

Honestly y'all BARELY got together

And these guys just got the hint that you two "Like" each other

Its cute, Mainly omegas idea when she when to the fresher one night and she saw the two of you hip to hip Just talking

well that what it sounded like anyways,

How this girl didn't figure out then is so surprising-

"Hunter wa-" You callout exiting cids office as omega drags him out of the bar and he goes out of sight

"Alright..." you sigh looking around the bar seeing echo on the counter with a smile you walk over,

"Why hello there stranger," you say sitting down in the stool next to his as he turns around

"Oh [name]" he gives you a gentle smile and looks behind you

"wheres hunter and omega?"

"you didn't notice?They rushed out of here" you chuckled looking the surface of the counter, "I had to ask him about this new run were going on but i guess it can wait." You say as you lay down your head on the counter and look at echo, who looked worried.

"Hey what's wrong?" you ask, placing a hand on his arm.as he glances at you and back at his mechanical hand.

"Im....I guess i didn't wake up well today." he states still looking down,as your eyebrows furrow in worry

"Is it the dreams again?" you ask softly laying your hand on his back as he nods, and you let out a soft oh letting silence fill the air

"Hey, wrecker and tech are off doing the errands today so,lets take it easy hmm?" you say wrapping your arm around his and placing your head on his shoulder closing your eyes as he lays his head on yours softly the both of you enjoying the comforting silence.

Tech

You two have been dating for a long while now!

But I see tech as someone who doesn't really reveal or make it obvious that you two are together,together.

Butttt that doesn't stop you two from being adorable

Or you flirting with him any time your alone with him XD

There was this one time when you and tech were fixing a panel in the ship,helping him turned Into heavy flirting,on your end of course.

Imagine that scene where leia and han finally have their first kiss

It sorta ended up like that

But tech is fidgeting out of nervousness

Omg I'm getting carried away-

Anyways- omega barges in and the two of literally separate so quickly XD

After this ordeal Cue omega telling echo "I think...i think they like each other!"

"She scared the living life out me" you sigh out with a hand placed on your chest as you head back in the marauder tech following close behind. Lifting up his goggles, he begins

"Yes,however next time we take on a romantic endeavor it will be when we are alone." Tech states looking at you as you rub your neck sheepishly and then look around the marauder.

"Speaking of alone.."you trail off you eyes grazing the ship and look back at tech, eyes sparkling with hope

"No"

"But i-"

"No"

Wrecker

Wrecker would be SOOo obvious

I mean really obvious,

Man's already followed you like a puppy and finally getting together he just had heart eyes whenever you entered a room

Honestly,I'm pretty sure the boys and omega know you two were together already

"Wait-where was this thing again wrecker??" you huff out as wrecker drags you out of the ship and he looks at you and then returns his gaze to his destination,

"Me and omega found this place earlier! i wanna show it to ya" he exclaims grinning as he keeps dragging you,

"Okay okay... stop dragging me though" you say laughing as he lets go

"Oh!sorry" he laughs, scratching his head while walking ahead.

"Hmm.....tell you what why don't we run there?winner buys the next box of mantell mix" he says grinning widely as you look at him with widened eyes

"Well that wouldn't be very fair would it?your the one who knows where this place is" you say placing your hands on your hips as you look at him smiling your smile falters as you look around

"Wait wasn't the gang supposed to come?" you ask looking around

"Meh,they'll be alright" wrecker shrugs as you look at the marauder.

"But,i thought we needed.." you trail off as you heard the footsteps near you get further. and you turn around quickly to see wrecker already running before you.

"Wha- Oh no you dont im am not paying for another box of mantell mix!!" You shout as you run after him

Crosshair

No one

And i mean no one,Would have a clue that you two were already seeing each other

At first you two just seemed like you really hated the hell out of each other

Eventually the hostility stopped

The gang was so happy they didn't hear as much bickering anymore

They honestly just thought you two made amends

The back and forth that did happen was...flirty?

At least to Hunter to accidentally overheard you two engaging in small talk

Honestly tho they don't even need to leave the both of you alone,you two will leave before anyone notices XDD

"You don't think they'll get mad..? you say as you follow crosshair across the barren landscape.

"They'll be fine,Now..how about that rematch you promised me?" he turns back to you as you look at him placing hand on your hip and you grin,

"tch tch,i thought we were over this crosshair.." You sigh dramatically as you two continue to keep walking and finally arrive at the destination. Crosshair letting out a airy laugh

"Not quite...i want a rematch." he states stopping ahead of you and grabbing his blaster from his back.

"And..here i thought we were headed out for something romantic" you say looking at the handmade targets ahead of you and you look back at crosshair. As you cross your arms and your smile grows bigger

"I suppose i can teach you a little bit of tricks this time around." You laugh as you pull out your blaster, and crosshair looks at you intrigued

"I was thinking,i would be the one teaching you" he says with his eyes closed as he fiddles with the toothpick between his lips.

"you've got it all wrong my friend..there's a reason i scored more than you last time" you say shaking your pointer finger as crosshair lets out a small "Hm" as he positions himself with his blaster and glancing back at you

"Well,let see about that then." with smug in his voice he begin to concentrate with his yes on the target

"Oh just you see..." you mumble readying yourself for target practice.

[askthatoneanacondraikaiguy]

Do you have any headcanon about Kai?

I'm assuming you mean the show version of Kai and not Permanent Anacondrai Kai. And honestly not a whole lot of solid ones rn, but I do have enough to share here;

He definitely likes spice. That boy loves it when his food is spicy.

A little bit of projection; Kai is not good at emotional regulation when he's younger. Idk if I HC him with ADHD (which is what I have and is the biggest cause of my emotional disregulation) but the stuff he went through when he was young and the fact he wasn't really taught how to regulate his emotions would've resulted in that.

Wu giving him the opportunity to express his anger and other feelings in physical training was the healthiest outlet Kai had really ever been shown by someone else when he was young. Living with Zane and Cole also definitely helped.

I like the idea that Kai and Nya were supported by the village they grew up in. A lot of people like the headcanons that Kai had to work really hard to keep him and Nya housed and fed. While I do like those HCs, I personally like the idea that the village kind of collectively helped out, bringing the children meals or babysitting/teaching the kids. They probably didn't worry too hard about Kai and Nya covering the costs to keep their parents' shop or house around.

In my HC, Maya and Ray were important members of the community and their disappearance was concerning and upsetting. They were elemental masters and war heroes. They provided the village a sense of security just by being there along with providing weaponry. With them gone so suddenly and without explanation, that sense of security was gone.

There was a period where the entire village was waiting for them to come back somehow. None of them wanted to tell Kai and Nya their parents were never coming back. But Kai figured that out on his own as he grew older. Once Kai was old enough to do chore work but not man his dad's shop, the villagers would've offered to pay him for that, because Kai would've begun to feel like he needed to 'grow up' and be responsible. I personally follow my friend's HC that Kai was around 14 or 15 (Nya being around 12-13 and Jay being about 13; youngest of the Ninja before Lloyd) at the time of the pilots. He definitely worked really hard before becoming a ninja but I don't think he had, like, five jobs at the time to support them both. He likely did odd jobs around the village and then the blacksmith shop once he was tall enough to use the forge.

Kai didn't make as many friends in the village as he probably would have otherwise, because between the abandonment anxiety and grief that came from losing his parents so suddenly, taking care of his sister, and also being just generally more stand-offish because everyone treats him differently (not cruelly; just differently, and kids are very good at noticing those things), he just had a hard time developing new relationships on his own. Especially in the shadow left behind by his parents' disappearance.

He wanted Nya to enjoy being a kid and that meant he wasn't super willing to let her help him in the more dangerous part of the shop, which definitely annoyed her. Kai was well-meaning there, but he didn't exactly convey that super well to Nya all the time cause he was a young teenager and she was a 12 year old who wanted to be seen as just as capable as her older brother.

The above bit is definitely inspired by that one exchange in the pilot; "I can handle this myself!" "No, you can't, stupid!"

I have a little brother who's 14, but in my brain he's still 12, and I definitely HC that Kai sorta sees Nya the same way. Not that she's incapable, just that she's also baby and it's his responsibility to provide helpful life advice to her, which is kinda funny when she has shit more figured out than he does.

[givehimthemedicine]

not to get the morbs on main but do you ever just sit with how incredibly sad "Goodbye, Mike" is? that little El is that ready to sacrifice herself?

the fact that she paused to say goodbye means she expected to die, or at least to get incapacitated and recaptured, which is also extremely sad. I lean towards thinking she didn't know she'd disappear to the UD.

I still don't get what exactly is happening when she does That to Henry and the demogorgon, but regardless, she seems to think it's killing ("if you touch her again I will kill you again") so I don't get the impression that she's aware getting transported is a possible outcome (she doesn't remember '79 in '83). she's already drained from killing the agents and doesn't have the option to recharge, and I think she accepts that the exertion necessary to kill the demogorgon will be more than she can survive.

El has spent a week hearing that Will is important, finding Will is what really matters. and of course she gets the idea Will is more important than she is. he is loved. this is El's first lesson in what that even looks like. this boy is sorta like her real-world counterpart - she's occupying his space in his world, and she's getting a glimpse at what it looks like for a kid her age to be a person, loved and missed, and not just a thing with a serial number on it that its owner wants back.

for that week, El is important because Will is important.

nobody has ever valued anything about El except what she can do with her powers, so she thinks her only value to the party and Joyce is in her usefulness in finding Will, or protecting them. tbh they didn't do a ton to challenge that assumption in season 1 in ways that would be clear to her (not that they had any idea of her experience).

"but the hug at the quarry!" yeah I love it, but she had just saved their lives. even though hugs are nice and she never got them at the lab, she still could think it's because she did something for them. "Joyce hugs her at the end of the bath!" one of the best moments in the series, but again, El had just done something for Joyce. that may be the only motive she sees for it. maybe it's all just lab taffy. what affection has anyone given El that doesn't look to her like part of an exchange or a reward for performance?

El's willingness to sacrifice herself isn't just about loving her new friends and wanting to protect them but like. by that time, she'd done all she could on the Will mission. he's Schrodinger'd at this point, it doesn't even matter the outcome. he's either irretrievable or being retrieved, either way, now that she's served her purpose she's of no further value to them.

if that's her impression, is she proven wrong? while she's still vulnerable from submitting herself to a triggering, exhausting experience to help them, Hopper betrays her location to Brenner in exchange for a longshot chance at finding Will.

(Yeah I know his options were limited and of course he's gonna be more committed to helping Will because he has a longtime relationship with Joyce. but. an authority figure handing a horribly abused child back to her abusers after she trusted him for help does not make me a big Hopper fan, even if he planned to try to doublecross them later. "I'll tell you where your little science experiment is" please.)

but as hurtful as Hopper's trade is, the saddest part is that El is willing to make a very similar one herself. it's more important for Will and these people to have each other back than for her to try to have her freedom. she wouldn't want what's been stolen from her to be stolen from anyone else. it's better for her to be the one that goes away, to make it safe for all of them. she has no one to miss her, not how Will does.

I have to wonder if the way she killed the demogorgon ("killed" "the demogorgon") was the only way she could've gone about it. like, she didn't try to snap its neck first or anything. her Plan A is a method that jeopardizes her own life.

does she see a future for herself in the outside world? one where she isn't forever hunted, and a constant danger to her friends? one that doesn't dead end back in the lab, under crueler conditions than ever before? is that a life she hopes to survive for?

imagine if ST really ended up being an anthology, and all she went out with was one resigned little "Goodbye, Mike" and we never found out any more about it. I would be in an institution

[missbabyjay]

What Is This? - Joel Miller x F Reader

TLOU SPOILERS!

MASTERLIST - CHECK OUT MY PAGE FOR MORE!

HI! This takes place in my own made up dimension lol. I followed parts of the actual show, and then completely disregarded other parts. I plan on leaving Bill and Frank in, but I wasn't sure about Tess (no hate to her character). This is sorta self-indulgent so I hope you enjoy anyway! I think I might make a part two but I need to know what y'all think :)

I'd also like to point out that I am just becoming familiar with Joel. I would like to keep him rough around the edge, but I think there's truly a sweet person under there and I need some fluffier stuff with him. I'm seeing way too many pieces where Joel is next level crazy. So this is for my fluff lovers.

Warnings/Content: Mature, Swearing, Angst, injury, the tiniest bit of fluff

Summary: You and Joel don't particularly enjoy each other, but with the shared responsibility of Ellie you're stuck together - being forced to address whatever weird thing there is between you two.

Word Count: 2K

. . .

You had been working alongside Joel for the past two years. You had met through Tess, doing odd jobs for her. Joel never seemed to trust you, although he never really trusted anyone. He didn’t enjoy your attitude, and found you to be sloppy at your job. The two of you were similar in one way; you had enough of the corrupt shit occurring in the QZ. You wanted to get away, you craved freedom - even if that meant living among the infected. You craved life outside of the walls… away from FEDRA.

Besides that, you and Joel butt heads like two mountain goats; fighting for dominance in the partnership you shared. You both had cold, yet overpowering personalities. Your morals were long gone. You both had an incredible amount of trauma constantly sitting on your shoulders, making the linger of tension much stronger between you two.

You insisted that you’d be able to handle yourself outside of the walls. You had experienced life among the ruined world before making it to Boston… how did he figure you ended up there anyway? The only reason you agreed to transporting Ellie was in hopes of finding new life, somewhere far away from the Boston QZ. With or without Joel, you didn’t care. In fact, you could say you were using him as leverage to get out of here - he knew the secret ways out, where to go when you reached the open world outside of the large, consuming and towering walls that encapsulated you within the fucked up corrupt society you lived in.

It had been a tense few days since you left the QZ. Plans changed and you were left with the responsibility of Ellie; something neither you or Joel really wanted. You trudged your feet forward, following behind the two. You knew there were a few places that Joel stashed extra items, making you hopeful for a pit stop. Your legs ached, sending shooting pains to your feet. Each step you took forward made you wince with pain… this sort of trek was easier before you got comfortable with your sedentary life within the QZ.

“We’re gonna stop right up here, stay back… I’m gonna check inside,” Joel instructed you and Ellie. 

You sighed, sending a gentle smile to Ellie who reciprocated. You appreciated Ellie’s attitude. She didn’t really have much of a filter and she stood up for herself; respectable for a fourteen year old, you thought to yourself. You wished you were the same way when you were fourteen. You will never forget being that age; that was the year the outbreak began.

As always, you didn’t listen to Joel. You proceeded forward causing him to let out a low, powerful, “No.” To which you responded by rolling your eyes.

The two of you followed behind Joel, and when you entered the building you were met with a run down gas station. Yet the ravaged sight was genuinely nostalgic to you. You couldn’t remember the last time you were in a gas station. Your brain flooded back to pre-apocalyptic life, a time where life was enjoyable; renting a movie, grabbing a slushy, indulging in some candy. Your hands glided along the dust covered shelves as you walked down the aisle. Ellie wandered off while Joel searched for his stash.

“So what’s your plan, old man?” You muttered to Joel as he continued trying to retrace his steps.

“Why’s it matter to you? Thought you could handle this on your own,” he grunted.

You continued tracing shapes and drawing in the dust, dragging your feet along. “You’d like that. Wouldn’t you?”

Joel stopped, “What the fuck is wrong with you?”

You continued stalking the aisles, but now you were staring into Joel’s eyes. He looked angry, a look that was quite familiar to you.

“I know you don’t even want me here. I don’t even want to be here with you. I’m sure there’s better people out there anyway,” you scoffed, rolling your eyes sarcastically.

Joel stopped his scattered movements to face you, quickly removing the space between the two of you.

His hand forcefully made its way to your delicate neck, pushing you against the end cap of the aisle. Your eyes widened as you gasped for air, “Look girl, you know you wouldn’t survive out there without me. And after losing Tess? I’m not losing you either.”

Joel stared into your eyes, into your soul. Your neck gulped under the strong grip of his hand - you struggled to gasp, your lungs were begging for air. He finally let go, causing you to intake a deep breath, trying to find the words, but instead tears began to well and you hurried out of the busted gas station.

Joel knew he fucked up. He didn’t know what came over him, but he couldn’t lose you or Ellie. Not necessarily out of love, but for the sake of his own ego, and guilt. Joel couldn’t handle anymore of that.

“Ellie!” He yelled out, searching for her in the building.

She slowly slid around the corner of the small office space, “What the fuck was that dude?”

Joel shook his head, “Let’s go. Now.” He demanded.

To Ellie’s surprise Joel ran out of the building. She quickly followed behind.

. . .

Your heart was racing as your chest expanded and closed in at a rapid pace. You tripped on a large tree chunk, leaving you sprawled on the ground. You pushed yourself to stand with the limited energy you had left. Your hands held you up as you used your knees for support, trying to not put too much pressure on your weak and injured foot. You attempted to get ahold of your breathing; the tears still falling down your dirtied face like a waterfall.

You didn’t understand… he cared about you?

The way he treated you since the beginning just didn’t match up with his words. What kind of game was he playing? He would throw cold, intimidating bitterness towards you for any small mistake. He didn't hesitate to put you in your place, and never paid you any attention that wasn't direly necessary.

You didn’t remember what it felt like to be cared about. You always ran from affection… even before the apocalypse.

You heard your name being called from afar, awakening your fight or flight to kick in - you wanted to run, as far as you could, but your body couldn’t withstand anymore; your legs continued to ache, your ankle was agonizing and your lungs felt like they were filled with blood. You were far more out of shape than you thought, leaving your inner weakness to overtake you. 

You decided to let the universe decide your destiny - you laid on the ground and waited, like bait. Either for Joel to find you, or an infected.

Your eyes wandered above you. You soaked in the leafy green trees towering over you. The sounds of nature filling your ears. The warm wind blowing against your rough skin. The earth below you felt cool and comforting. Your breathing began to slow and you found your eyes becoming heavy. As much as you wanted to fight it, you let them close and soon you were met with a hazy half-ass slumber - the best you could get in an apocalypse.

. . .

Joel felt panic wash over him. He just told you he couldn’t lose you, and yet here he was searching for you. “Where could she be?” he questioned as he began to feel that all too familiar feeling - guilt.

Ellie joined him in calling your name. She felt nervous too. She wasn’t sure if she could handle Joel after losing another person. His bitterness made this journey much harder, a journey she didn’t choose to be on.

Joel stopped dead in his tracks, and reached his arm out to stop Ellie from proceeding. He slowly raised his gun, and cautiously began walking forward, taking small, quiet steps in order to avoid creating too much noise. He didn’t have much ammo left and he had to make the most of it.

He saw a body laying in the middle of the path, could it be an infected? Or just a dead body? His heart dropped when he noticed it was you; eyes closed, body limp. His mind wandered to the worst possible place.

“Y/N!” He shook you lightly, cautiously, unsure of the situation. Just hopeful that you were okay. He saw your chest rising, indicating you were well alive. He soaked in the view of your face; your parted chapped lips, the delicate crows feet nestled beside your eyes, the dirt that laid on your face - that still looked so soft to him.

. . .

Your peaceful slumber was broken as your body was gently shook. You bolted up - defencive being the first thing you felt anytime you woke from sleep. “Y/N, woah girl it’s just me, Joel” his voice cooed, bringing you back to reality as he rubbed your arm.

“Oh, you,” fell out of your lips sarcastically, brushing Joel off as quickly as you could. You didn’t want to feel his touch - you didn’t know how to process his touch. Joel made you want to feel cared for again, maybe.

“I’m just uh- gonna go like 10 feet over there and let you two figure out whatever this is…” Ellie announced, awkwardly making her way over to a nearby tree where she could prop herself against, somewhat comfortably, while being able to protect her back.

You both eyed Ellie as she walked, both knowing she was your responsibility to protect, but also knowing the two of you had to figure out whatever fucked up situation this was.

You began to massage your ankle, wincing in pain. Fuck, what did I do. Joel looked down over you, concern and anger were plastered on his face.

“Why the fuck did you run Y/N? What is wrong with you? I said you couldn’t handle being alone and here I fucking find you… asleep in the middle of a forest… so vulnerable,” he exclaimed, aggressively grabbing your arm to pull you to your feet.

You resisted, but his power was all too much for you to fight against. The weight of yourself bearing on your ankle made it difficult for you to stand. You shrugged your shoulders. You weren’t sure exactly why you ran. Joel’s words made you feel something that you didn’t want to feel. You didn’t want a connection to anyone. You knew this sort of life meant relying on yourself and only yourself, and Joel was making that difficult.

You looked up to meet Joel's brown eyes. His dusted face looked concerned, not angry, for once. “Look, what you said… I'm not used to people saying that kinda shit to me. It’s hard to hear that someone doesn’t want me dead, I usually assume the opposite considering no one really cares about other people in this world,” you muttered out, struggling to keep contact with Joel's gaze.

Your body tensed as you were suddenly pulled into Joel's embrace. It wasn’t necessarily loving, but it felt protective. “Well I do care. I’m not gonna lose you. You may annoy the shit out of me but my world would be too quiet without your bitching,” he whispered into your ear. Sure, the words weren’t romantic or anything, but you knew Joel was being genuine. 

You pushed Joel away, “Okay,” you grunted, sending him a feeble smile through your pursed lips. “I’m gonna need you to tape me up. I fucked up my ankle earlier,” you lamented. 

Joel shook his head, “Of course you did. Here, sit back down,” he glowered. He called over Ellie to assist him and the two managed to tape your ankle making you able to lazily follow behind them as you continued your journey. 

“Where to?” you questioned, not sure what kind of answer you’d receive.

“Bill and Franks,” Joel muttered, waving you over to come closer to him. “Get on my back, you shouldn’t walk on that ankle of yours,” he insisted. You obliged, you’d be crazy to turn down his offer. Your ankle was throbbing and you could use a break considering you still had a few hours of your hike to get through.

As Joel readjusted you on his back your body became quite comfortable. You nuzzled your chin in between his shoulder and neck, embracing his warmth and surprisingly nodding off into a light snooze. 

[invinciblerodent]

hhh a part of me (a small, but tbh rather significant part) is really hoping that the Inquisitor swearing to stop Solas no matter what means that over the years, their desire to do so morphed and mutated into a single-minded obsession with tracking him down.

as in, into a pursuit to the detriment of all other thoughts and relationships, and that's why they're never seen accompanying Varric in the other additional materials.

like I kind of want to make that sorta-canon for me (since we have 8 years to work with) that after the self-destructive period of him pointedly not dealing with his plot-induced PTSD that I had already figured he'd have, Ray gained temporary purpose by throwing his whole entire ass into pursuing (and attempting to skewer) Solas.

I've not yet really gone into the specifics of thinking about the in-between period too much (because I don't want to be overwritten by canon too badly), but I've been thinking today, and it would.... actually make sense, for the kind of character he is.

I'm thinking that after spending close to one miserable year in Kirkwall while trying his best to deal with the loss of his arm, his inner circle scattering to the wind, and the responsibility of the Inquisition disintegrating at the same time, Ray would be desperate for a purpose, a cause, a mission to throw his weight behind. And not only is Varric (the only friend of his that remained accessible to him) not a therapist, he's also not a great influence. So, when Varric began his own pursuit and invited his good friend Shiny to join, it... kind of ended up consuming Ray again, but in a whole other direction from the previous time.

With his clear guilt (for inadvertently aiding the rise of Solas), his anger (from being betrayed by Solas), and his intense sort of personality, I like the thought of him exchanging one cause that became his identity for another, for a while.

It would make his relationships all suffer of course (being unavailable a lot of the time, not being able to write or receive letters, needing to keep more and more secrets in fear of anything getting out threatening the mission), but... ngl, it does tickle me, to think of how that would also change the reunion with Dorian in Minrathous.

Like I want them to end up where I always figured they would, "venturing into mutual domesticity" in Tevinter, but now I'm entertaining the thought of the distance and their respective missions creating a bit of bitterness between them, some detachment.

I mean, they would both be doing important shit they can't exactly share with the other (who knows what letter is caught, who knows who could be listening to a conversation over the crystal), so their parts in each other's lives would steadily shrink, for a time. There would be some hurt, some resentment of course, but the Missions would take priority, and it would take... maybe a close call (something of another near-death experience?) for Ray to come to his senses, and realize that this just can't go on like this. That there are, in fact, things that matter far more than the grudge, the risk, that there are things (or one thing, specifically) that he would not hesitate to let the world burn for.

He needs something, a catalyst, to make him come to terms that he's not just not the person he used to be anymore, but also totally conspicuous, not really an asset to the hunt (more of a hindrance, if anything), and his wild goose chase was not only dead on arrival, but also damaging more than just his own physical- and mental health- and what better catalyst is there than getting absolutely fucking screamed at through a crystal by a panicked and fucking furious Dorian for almost dying in a really stupid way.

I don't know if there's anything but the threat of losing the love of his life for good that could jostle ~Mr. Horrible Abandonment Issues~ out of that kind of "dog with a bone" mindset, but I feel like there being that additional rough patch would make their reunion all the more interesting. Instead of just simply heaping the task of being the gentle hand that heals Ray onto Dorian's head, it'd create this fun, more equal dynamic of rediscovering each other, and kind of... reconciling, feeling each other out again, healing each other's bruised feelings.

...... so anyway after a year of wallowing in self-pity and pickling himself from the inside, I figure Ray could spend another one, maybe two years chasing the ghost of Solas through Thedas, before one day stopping, asking himself "what the FUCK am I even doing anymore", and taking off to Tevinter instead.

that still gives him and Dorian at least 5 generous years to lick each other's wounds (among other things), and grow together into a scandalously normal couple who just so happen to also be changing the world, lol.

[andiwriteordie]

prompts um . um ! may i suggest a little piece with one of the boys having bird/angel wings

wibble!!!! ok i was a little nervous for this one at first because i've never done any wing fics, but this was such a fun prompt! so thank you for indulging my two current loves: 1) fantasy-esque byler aus and 2) some good ole fashioned mike angst :)

—

take these broken wings 

People always say that right before you die, your life will flash before your eyes—memories and images of the moments you lived, your worst failures and greatest successes, the highest highs and lowest lows, and every moment in between. Some people who have had brushes with death and lived to tell the tale claim that life flashes before your eyes in the same way that lightning strikes—there, one moment, and full of crackling energy which calls all of your attention, then gone the next. 

Mike’s had a lot of close calls with near-death experiences. After all, it just comes with the territory of knowing about the Upside Down and all its monsters, what with their faces literally made out of teeth and their creepily evocation of actual, less terrifying animals. Death’s not exactly something new to him, which is sorta sad, as a seventeen year old.

But in the five years since this shit all started, he’s never, ever had a “lightning strike, life flash before his eyes” kinda moment.

At least not for himself.

It’s funny, in like the world’s least funny and most morbid kinda way. Is it possible to have someone else’s life flash before your eyes? Only if you know them well enough, Mike would venture to guess. Only if you’ve been part of so many key moments in their life, only if your life is so deeply intertwined with theirs, and only if they are the one brushing hands with death and preparing to meet their end. 

Yeah. That would be Mike’s guess.

Except that it isn’t a guess anymore. It’s actually something that’s happening, right here, right now in front of him, playing out like the world’s worst movie written by a screenwriter with a personal vendetta against Mike Wheeler himself. Lightning strikes—figuratively and literally—and Will’s life flashes before Mike’s eyes, right as his best friend pushes him out of the way and puts his own body in between Mike and a rabid, snarling demodog.

We killed it, a voice in the back of Mike’s mind protests, and that voice isn’t wrong. Mike could have sworn that thing was already dead, that its snarls had been reduced to mere whimpers, that the threat had already been neutralized by a stroke of sheer luck and some unfortunate How To Fight In the Apocalypse 101 training they’ve picked up on over the last few years.

Clearly, the thing’s not dead though. Clearly, it’s alive, and in the slow motion moment when it lunges at Mike and Will pushes Mike out of the way and the demodog makes contact with Will’s back, Will Byers’ entire life as Mike Wheeler knows it flashes before his eyes.

Kindergarten and the swing set. Becoming best friends.

First grade and meeting Lucas. Their party of two becomes a party of three.

Second, third, fourth grade and running around on the playground together. Late nights spent talking back and forth about their favorite comic books. Dreaming of worlds together.

Fifth, sixth, seventh grade. Dustin joins their party. DnD is discovered by the four of them, and Will the Wise, as well as all their other characters, is born. Mike’s basement is the safest place in the world.

November 6, 1983. The nightmare begins.

Halloween 1984. It continues.

Summer 1985. It keeps on going and going and going.

Fall 1985. The Byers move away, far, far, far from Mike, and Mike doesn’t know what happens after that—in the in-between months, because he wasn’t part of Will’s life back then. He did that to himself.

Spring 1986. The worst fucking road trip ever and the start of the literal fucking apocalypse.

1986, 1987, 1988. 

Every. Single. Moment. 

And now.

Thunder rumbles above them, and with it echoes Will’s cry of pain as the demodog sinks its teeth into his back—into his wings, Mike thinks, vaguely, somewhere in the haze of his mind. He hasn’t heard Will scream like that in years. Not since the Mind Flayer incident, that night at the lab. 

The scream’s enough to kick him back into action. 

Well-thought out action? 

… 

Not exactly. 

See, there are actually no logical thoughts running through Mike’s mind when he throws—quite literally throws—his entire body weight against the snarling demodog. The sheer impact does succeed in his intended, vague plan of getting the dog off Will, but it does, unfortunately, come with the unintended (and very obvious, now that Mike thinks of it) consequence of having said demodog on top of him now. 

That’s a lot of teeth, Mike thinks. That thought is quickly followed by a barrage of curse words, Shit, fuck, shit, shit shit, holy fuck, fuck, fuck, FUCK, as pure survival instincts kick in, and Mike tousles with the demodog. The thing’s growling at him, its entire face full of teeth and spit and blood—Will’s blood and honestly probably some of Mike’s too—snapping at him and trying its best to maul his arm, and holy fucking shit, there’s no lightning strike, but Mike’s going to die, Mike’s going to die, Mike is going to die—

A single gunshot rings out above the silence. Mike’s pretty sure his own heart stops.

Then, barely a split second later, a pained yelp follows the gunshot, and suddenly, sixty something pounds of pure monstrous muscle and evil collapses onto Mike, complete deadweight. Something warm and sticky presses against Mike’s old jacket, and he winces, doing his best to squirm away from the now dead demodog. 

Once upon a time, he remembers Mrs. Blackburn from across the street used to complain about how difficult it was to get up when the family’s golden retriever used to make a bed out of her lap. Growing up, Mike had never really understood that, having never owned a dog in his life.

He gets it now.

“Jesus,” Mike breathes, right as he manages to pull himself out from under the dog. His heart somehow must’ve restarted, because now it’s beating faster than it ever has before, and adrenaline courses through his veins, making him feel jittery and out of breath. There’s blood on his clothes and on his arms, so God knows he’ll wake up feeling like hell tomorrow.

But he’s alive. He’s alive. That’s all that matters. Mike’s alive, and so is Will, and—

Suddenly, a pained groan interrupts Mike’s thoughts, and he whips his head around, eyes widening as he catches sight of his best friend. 

Lightning strikes above the two of them. Will looks pale in the dim light, his eyes drooping and his legs swaying. He opens his mouth, like he’s going to say something, but he never quite gets to. 

Will’s body hits the ground before either of them are able to say or do anything.

“Will!” 

The strangled cry tears itself from Mike’s throat, and once again, his body moves on pure instinct as Mike throws himself down onto the pavement beside Will. Up close, it’s easier to see just how bad Will has been hurt—the ever darkening color of his fabric as the blood continues to flow, staining his shirt and the jacket he’s wearing over it, the open gashes and bite marks underneath torn pieces of fabric, the unsteady rise and fall of his best friend’s chest as Will tries desperately to stay conscious, and—

Bile rises, burning the back of Mike’s throat. His hands, which had been moving with a mind of their own, panicked and full of a desperation and need to help Will, save him, make sure he’s okay, oh God, he has to be okay, now freeze. His heart damn near comes to a stop, and it’s probably a miracle Mike’s still alive with how much his heart has been pounding, then suddenly stopping, then pounding again this evening. 

And worst of all, his eyes… his eyes take in a sight Mike had never wanted to see—the familiar, white feathers of his best friend’s wings, now mauled and stained with red. With Will’s wings still folded under his shirt, kept close to himself, it’s difficult to see the full extent of the damage, but Mike knows it’s bad. 

This is your fault, the harsh, critical voice in the back of Mike’s mind whispers. This is your fault.

Those words feel like a knife in the heart, and Mike falters, his hands still lingered on Will’s broken and mangled wings. Your fault, that voice taunts again. This is all your—

“M-Mike,” Will wheezes, and Mike can’t help but flinch, looking down to see Will straining to look at him. His face is still pale; his eyes are still barely open. But worst of all, there’s a fear in his eyes—one that Mike has only seen a few other times. 

It’s that fear that kicks Mike back into action. His trembling hands, now covered in blood that’s probably Will’s but also Mike’s but also the demodog’s, reach for Will, and Mike squeezes his best friend’s hand as tightly as he can.

“You’re going to be okay,” Mike reassures, even though he has no business saying that. “Just stay with me, Will, okay? Just stay with me; please don’t leave me, okay? Okay, just hold on, just hold on—”

Those words continue to tumble out of Mike’s mouth, mixed in with desperate, snotty sobs, even after Will’s eyes flutter close. He’s still breathing in small shallow gasps, and his hand is slack in Mike’s own, and he’s hurt, Will’s hurt, it’s your fault, your fault, YOUR FAULT—

Please don’t go, Mike thinks. The thought feels far away, lost somewhere in the loud cacophony of anxious thoughts. Please, please, please don’t go; stay with me, please, Will; please don’t go; please.

And then:

I love you.

Truthfully, Mike doesn’t really know what happens after that. He doesn’t know how much time passes or how the others manage to find them or how his body becomes unfrozen from its place, keeping watch over Will. Everything else becomes a blur of rainwater and blood—so much blood—staining the ground and Mike’s hands and Will’s clothes and Will’s wings that awful scarlet red. 

This is your fault, that voice whispers to him, the entire ride back to their makeshift home. This is all your fault.

**

It takes a scary amount of time for Will to wake up.

Time’s a really fucking strange thing, you know? Mike still remembers being six or seven years old and how the weeks between the first day of school and picture day in the first week of October always felt so long. That month stretched on for forever and ever to his little six year old brain, but slowly, as he got older, the month seemed to become a little bit shorter. Then, even shorter the next year and shorter again the next. Growing up, it was as if the older he’d get, the faster time would fly right past him.

But apparently, time has decided it wants to do a complete one-eighty on Mike while he’s down for the count. Apparently, time no longer wants to fly; no, it wants to move at a fucking snail’s speed, dragging on until every second that passes by feels like a minute and each minute feels like an hour and each hour feels like a day.

Time’s really fucking strange. 

And so, by the time Will wakes up, Mike honestly doesn’t know how long it’s been since the two of them were attacked. He knows a few things though—some that are helpful and some that aren’t.

Mike knows he hasn’t slept since then, choosing instead to sit by Will’s bedside and watch over him, as if that might do any good. 

He knows practically everyone in their little group of Upside Down survivors has tried to convince him to leave, and he knows that, in response, he’d turned into a creature about as vicious as the one who did this to Will. 

He knows that the fucking demodog that had attacked Will deserved a far crueler ending than a well-aimed bullet in the heart. He knows that it’s maybe a little sick and twisted for thinking that, and he knows he doesn’t really care right now.

He knows that Will’s wings are broken and torn, feathers brutally ripped off, bones broken underneath, damage near irreparable. He knows that Joyce cried when she saw her son, and he knows that she then picked herself back up and did everything she, with Hopper and Jonathan’s help, did everything she possibly could to mend Will’s broken wings and ease his pain.

And Mike knows that all of this is his fault.

So, when Will wakes up, eyes fluttering open and searching the dimly lit room, relief and guilt go to war inside Mike’s heart and mind. Relief wins out the initial battle, because Will is finally awake, and Mike doesn’t even care that Joyce and Hopper are in the room and can see him cry. But it’s guilt that ultimately wins the war, taking its place as the victor when Will sits up and immediately cries out, instinctively curling his wings around himself and only making things worse.

Bile rises in the back of Mike’s throat, and he feels frozen—just as frozen as he did in that moment when Will had stared up at him, terrified and bleeding out on the pavement. Joyce and Hopper are quick to jump to action, and Joyce’s soothing words fill the quietness in the room, “It’s okay, baby; you’re okay. Just relax, okay? Just breathe for me; that’s good; you’re doing so good, baby.” 

Mike can barely hear the words over the sound of his own blood rushing through his ears. 

Get out, something in the back of his mind pleads. Get out, get out, get out— 

He would get out, if he could. But instead, Mike’s stuck here. Completely frozen in place, unable to do anything but watch in horror and try not to throw up as Joyce and Hopper slowly unwrap the bandages around Will’s wings. 

Red is the first color Mike sees as the bandages come off. Blood, sticky and dark red, has stained the bandages, and Mike’s eyes wander from that gauze to the wounded appendages. Massive gashes, still a bright, painful shade of maroon, marr Will’s normally white wings, and there are chunks of feathers missing from where the demodog had attacked him. More than that, with Will now awake and able to stretch his wings out more, it’s easier to see the awkward, painful angles his wings are twisted at. 

Every single moment and every single touch seems to hurt Will, even if he doesn’t say it.

And all Mike can do is watch. He’s breathing. He has to be. But at the same time, it doesn’t feel like it. His chest is burning; his lungs don’t feel like they’re getting any oxygen. Will’s bandages are discarded to the side—red, red, red replacing white, blooming, spreading, overtaking, and—

“Mike, sweetie?” 

Mike flinches sharply, and finally, his body feels unfrozen. He’s able to look somewhere other than the blood-stained bandages and the bloody gashes on Will’s wings, and instead, he turns his attention to Joyce, who’d just called his name. 

“S-sorry.” Mike swallows the lump in his throat and tries to remember how to breathe. “Did you, um… did you say something?”

A sad smile forms on Joyce’s face. “I didn’t,” she reassures gently. “But I, ah… I think maybe it would be best if you stepped outside for a bit. Maybe… go get some rest now that Will’s awake.”

Mike’s gut reaction is to protest, but the words die in the back of his throat as Joyce’s gaze flickers to Will’s face. Mike follows her line of sight, and—

Oh.

Red colors Will’s cheeks too, and he’s hiding his face from Mike, like he’s ashamed to be seen crying. It’s hard to see, but Mike can feel the heartbreak and the pain his best friend is experiencing right now. All he wants to do is make it better—to help Will, to somehow make this up to him, to let Will know that he’s here and that he’s not going anywhere anytime soon. 

Protest rises again, clawing its way up Mike’s throat, but he manages to bite his tongue and stop himself from yelling, It’s okay; please, it’s okay; you don’t have to hide, not from me. Please don’t hide. It’s okay; I’m here. I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere, and you’re my best friend, and I love you—

Warmth rushes to Mike’s face, and for just a moment, he feels frozen again. There it is again—that thought that keeps sneaking up on him, more and more with each passing day. It’s the confession that Mike’s too much of a coward to say out loud, but he’s no idiot. There’s no denying the implications of those three words.

Not when he couldn’t even write the damn words in a letter to his own girlfriend.

Not when the words sneak up on him, in the most mundane and the most insane moments of his life, like they’re something as natural as breathing.

Not when it’s Will.

I love you, Mike lets himself think again. 

Unfreeze.

Mike takes a step forward, ignoring the way his heart pounds inside his chest and the skeptical looks both Hopper and Joyce give him. Instead, he just sits down as carefully as possible as he can onto the bed, and he reaches for Will’s hands, pulling them away from his face so the two of them are looking at one another again.

This is your fault, that voice in the back of Mike’s mind whispers as Will tentatively looks at him, eyes full of grief and shame and embarrassment. It’s all your fault.

Maybe, Mike thinks. But Will needs me. 

So, without giving it another thought, Mike scoots close, and he wraps his arms around his best friend, being careful to not exacerbate Will’s injuries. Like two puzzle pieces slotting into place, Will falls easily into his arms, and Mike hugs him close, running his hand up and down Will’s bare arm. 

“You’re okay,” Mike whispers. It’s a reassurance and a reminder wrapped up all in two simple words and meant for both of them. “You’re going to be okay. We’ll get through this. I promise. I promise.”

Maybe that’s not a promise he should be making, but it’s one that Mike is going to try and do everything to keep.

**

Eventually, Will begins to get better.

His wings will never be the same again. That much is clear. Wings are already sensitive appendages—something that both Will and El can attest to—but it doesn’t help that they’re in the middle of the apocalypse with limited medical supplies. Hopper and Joyce do their best, and Will does slowly begin to heal from his injuries.

But his wings will never be the same again.

He doesn’t like talking about it, and that’s fine. Mike doesn’t like thinking about it, much less talking about it, so instead, he pours all of his energy into making sure Will knows he isn’t alone and also into keeping Will’s mind off the current reality of their situation. It’s no easy task, but if there’s one thing Mike’s gotten good at over the last twelve years of their friendship, it’s making Will Byers smile.

It’s… strange, actually. These past couple of months have objectively been some of the worst months of Will’s life—and Mike’s too, if he’s being completely honest. Will has spent these months recovering from a severely traumatic ordeal, both physically and emotionally. They’re living in the middle of the apocalypse, and One could literally return any day now to try and… destroy everything or whatever the fuck he wants to do.

And yet somehow, even in spite of how shitty things have been, the two of them have been able to find a little bit of light in the middle of the darkness. 

It’s different, and it’s maybe too soon to say this, but also not soon enough. They’ve been walking down this path for years now, and only in these past couple months has that walk turned into a sprint towards… something – something remarkable and exhilarating and terrifying all at once. Something Mike doesn’t dare name yet, but that he wants to name, every single time those three words, I love you, come to mind.

It’s an ordinary day when he finally finds the courage to.

“Okay, so I was thinking,” Mike announces as the door to Will’s room flings open, and he walks in, the way he’s done dozens of times, “we should—” 

He doesn’t get the chance to finish his sentence. Before he can, Will turns around quickly, arms wrapped around himself, and he yelps, “Mike! Jesus, knock next time!” 

His face is bright red, his eyes are wide, and his expression is caught somewhere between embarrassed and actually mortified. Part of Mike wants to point out the fact that he’s done this multiple times and Will’s never seemed to care, but the words die in the back of his throat as he takes in the sight of his best friend.

For starters, Will is shirtless, and that – that’s totally fine. That’s fine. Mike doesn’t feel like his face is on fire or anything. Pfft, no. He’s seen Will shirtless hundreds of times, so this situation? Right here? Totally normal. Completely.

…

Anyways.

Beyond that, Will is… clearly trying to hide his wings. Despite the fact that Mike knows it hurts him to not stretch his wings out, he’s folded them down, so that Mike can just barely see the tips of his wings not hidden behind Will’s back. His eyes dart back and forth around the room anxiously, and a pang of hurt and guilt forms in Mike’s heart.

“Will,” Mike whispers, and he takes a step towards his best friend, unable to help himself. “Hey, it – it’s just me. It’s okay.”

Those words, apparently, aren’t the right ones to say, because Will’s face falls. He looks away quickly, wraps his arms around himself, and mutters, “It’s not okay. Just… please… can you go?”

His voice breaks on those last few words, and though he doesn’t say it aloud, Mike hears Will regardless. There’s no one in the world he knows better than Will, just like there’s no one in the world who knows Mike better than Will does. The two of them get each other.

“If you really want me to go, I will,” Mike says quietly and takes another step, holding out his hand for Will to take. “But if not…” 

He lets his voice trail off, waiting for Will’s reaction. It takes a few moments, but then finally, Will looks up, eyes watery and heartbroken. He doesn’t say anything; instead, he just slowly unfolds his wings and takes a step backwards, sitting down onto his bed and keeping his arms wrapped around himself. 

The invitation goes unspoken but not unsaid, so Mike takes another few steps forward, sitting down beside his best friend. Not a moment later, Will rests his head on Mike’s shoulder, and Mike responds by wrapping his arms around his best friend and holding him close. Neither one of them says a word, but Mike can feel the way the tension dissolves from the room, the way Will’s walls begin to crumble, the way both of them walk hand in hand back towards who they used to be. 

There was a point in their lives when things were too confusing. Too messy and too big to figure out. There was a time when this didn’t feel right, even though all Mike wanted to do was keep Will as close to him as possible. He didn’t understand it back then, but he gets it now. 

It’s pretty simple, actually. Mike is in love with Will, and he has been for a long, long time. Maybe since before he even met El, but definitely during the extent of their relationship. And while the feelings for El were there, they were never as strong as the ones he felt for Will.

…

The ones he still feels for Will.

So, it’s easy. It’s the most natural thing in the world for Mike to hold his best friend close, to let the rest of the world fall away, to think back to the very same thoughts that had flooded his mind on the rainy night all of this first began. Please don’t leave me, and You’ve gotta be okay; you’re gonna be okay, and even I love you, I love you, I love you. Please don’t go. 

Eventually, the tears stop falling, and the room grows quiet once more. The two of them sit there, arms still wrapped around each other, with Will’s head resting against Mike’s chest lightly. He’s shifted a little bit now, wings wrapped around the two of them as best as he can, and it reminds Mike of when they were little, back when Will’s wings were the secret Mike was lucky enough to know and back when the world seemed just a little bit smaller and less overwhelming.

As carefully as he can, Mike adjusts ever so slightly, and he lifts one of his hands, running it across one of the long, jagged scars on Will’s wings. He feels his best friend shiver under the touch, and hesitantly, both of them turn their gazes towards one another. 

There’s hesitancy written all over Will’s face, and his gaze flickers to Mike’s hand for just a brief moment, before returning back to Mike’s eyes once more. He looks like he wants to say a million different things, but finally, he settles on quietly saying, “They’ll never be the same again.”

He doesn’t say it aloud, but the words don’t go unsaid. 

I’ll never be the same again.

And there – there is the root of all of this, the grief that Mike knows Will has been feeling this whole time. Hell, it’s the same old grief and confusion and pain that’s been around since Will was first rescued from the Upside Down. It’s the same grief that appeared again the year after, and it’s the same grief that keeps on coming back, manifesting itself in new ways, and always posing the same question. 

Will I ever be the same person again?

Will any of us?

“Maybe not,” Mike says quietly. The words don’t feel nearly big enough to even begin to say what he truly means and how he truly feels. All he can do is hope that Will understands what he’s trying to say—that the words he can manage right now are enough until he musters up enough courage to truly tell Will everything Mike needs to say to him. “But they’re still beautiful.”

You’re still beautiful, he thinks but doesn’t say. Instead, Mike just runs his hand delicately down the broken, scarred wing, never once taking his eyes off Will. And I love you.

Will takes a shuddered breath, and despite the watery look still in his eyes, he manages to smile. “You really mean that?” 

“Yeah,” Mike whispers back, and he scoots closer, one arm still wrapped around Will and the other still gently stroking the patches of white feathers on Will’s wings. In return, Will wraps his wings around the two of them even tighter, and the smile on his face grows. He seems more relaxed. More at home. “I really do.”

The words still aren’t everything that Mike wants to say, but Will gets it. He always does. And one day, hopefully soon, the two of them will be able to talk about this, and Mike will be able to speak the words that have been echoing through his mind and that he’s kept close to his heart ever since the moment he came to this realization. 

Someday.

[restlessreveries]

Okay I'm gonna ramble a bit about that silly fairytale-ish NemxSym AU that's been living in my head for... A Lot of months. Because I've been awake long enough to not worry about it and I will probably worry about it later but that's a future Lini problem.

So basically this is kind of a fairytale AU, fey and kingdoms with knights and princesses and stuff like that. Originally it was SolxSym because I'm pretty sure it sprouted from one of Hirokiyuu's three sentence writes, but as all things goes it eventually turned to NemxSym in my head.

It started off with Sol being the only royal heir of the kingdom they're living in, and them needing to strike an alliance with the sorta-close fey kingdom because idk reasons, outside human enemies and they can't afford the fey getting on their bad side too? It's not exactly fleshed out but I haven't planned on writing anything serious about it anyway so -shrug-. Whatever, the alliance is very important.

Sooo yeah, in the original, it was Sol x Sym, but as time moved on, I figured "Nem would do that if Sol was in love with someone else because she's protective like that." Which is really just an excuse to further my NemxSym agenda. but it works (She's high up enough on the nobility ladder that it works in universe).

The start is, rough. In a way? Nem is scared because marriage wasn't exactly on her to-do list and nobody really knows much about the fey and how they work? Like everyone is wary, but they do need this. And of course this silly fey prince is Sym who is very excited to be staying in the human kingdom and learning more about them, because he's very bored with how stagnant are among the fey. (the fun of long lived races and all that).

But... surprising her, he's also very respectful and understanding of her situation. He keeps his distance, puts a hand up in pretense of holding her but it's just to fake a kiss during the wedding. Happily spends the wedding night sleeping on the couch (after having been confused about her being nervous about it because he really had no plans on intimacy) and probably keeps sleeping there until they get separate rooms after a few weeks.

So her life continues mostly the same. Unexpectedly. She kind of does keep her distance though, because she doesn't really like the thought of being married and he is a bit odd and she really has no idea what to expect there so... it's just easier not to engage? Which Sym is perfectly fine with, he's all smiles and friendliness towards any human he meets, even though most of them takes Nem's lead and avoids interacting as much as possible. Which, really, doesn't seem to trouble him...

Except it does. Only, he's so adamant on respecting people's boundaries that he refuses to show that over the course of like two years, he becomes very lonely. Having gone from being surrounded by his own kind to living alone among humans who spare him as few words as possible and often finds excuses to leave the room he's entered (this displacement and loneliness is a bit of a nod towards "Disable the Array"). Until one day his sister Constellation comes to visit which has him suddenly a lot happier than people have seen him in a long time.

Only problem is that she sees right through his charade and calls him out on it. That she's never seen him so miserable before and how does he imagine this will go over if their Queen finds out how the humans are treating him? If Constellation can see through him so easily there's no way he can hide how he's doing, should the others come by, and then the alliance is pretty much garantueed to be broken. And yeah, she's going to have some words with his wife, because he really should at least have some support there.

And of course, he's instantly all up in arms about it, protesting because he genunely doesn't want Nem to be burdened by this. She's already dealing with enough, having been forced into this situation in the first place. He'll sort this out. Definitely, just don't put this on her.

So Constellation relents, but comments that he'd better up his theatre game before the fey queen finds out, or actually find a way to sort this out. So that's a fun little bit of pressure 'cause you know, it's not like he was dealing with enough already.

And as if we haven't invoked enough silly tropes already, this is where we add accidentally spying on a conversation somehow. With Nem (and maybe Sol?) overhearing the entire thing and having a bit of a realization that things aren't going so well after all and they do need to fix this somehow. (and also, he's been keeping this to himself to protect her? That won't 'cause difficult feelings at all.)

So later that night Nem's just, suggesting to Sym do something together the next day, to which he is surprised and delighted at first, but then she kinda nervously keeps going? Just listing a bunch of different things and parties and stuff they could attend and Sym gradually goes from happy to a sinking realization and that fake happy mask gradually dropping.

"... You overheard me speaking to Constellation?"

"No! I mean- maybe a little bit, but-"

"I see..." -the most forced attempt at his usual soft smile ever- "Please don't concern yourself with it. The last thing I wish for is to burden you further, I'll get this sorted out."

And then he absconds to have his own little breakdown because she knows now, and she's going to feel bad no matter what he does and he can't just fix this? And meanwhile Nem is having her own little moment of "Wtf why didn't I realize this sooner? He's been notihng but kind and I've just been avoiding him? Two years and I haven't even tried to make friends?"

It may or may not end with Nem kicking down the door to his room to actually sit him down and have a long chat about all of this because yeah, neither of them went into this with the intention of love, but they can at least try to be civil and upfront with each other.

After that it kinda settles into a standard slowburn of gradually realizing that they actually do enjoy hanging out with each other, and with Nem (and Sol contributing) being more openly friendly with him, other humans starts to feel more at ease chatting with the odd fey and... yeah, it sorts itself out eventually. Slowburn romance and all.

(Also I feel like the first thing Nem suggests for their real activity together after their proper talk is that they go for a ride around the area together. Sym agrees because he's happy to be included. Sym has never ridden a horse before. Nem finds it hilarious when this thousands-year old fey turns out to be terrified of even a light trot around the castle grounds. It's a good ice breaker.)

...Okay, now I'm gonna crawl back in under my rock and let future Lini deal with the regrets.

[cozypancakes]

I'm the lengthy anon from yesterday. I'm so glad you didn't mind me rambling in your inbox. I have no one to talk to about this show. There is no real fandom, and my friends haven't watched it yet. :/

But yeah, if I think too much about Peter's and Jim's relationship, I want to cry. Obviously, from Peter's point of view, Jim writing the article was utter betrayal. Peter idolized his dad, and Jim was so right when he said Peter hasn't even gotten to know his dad or see his flaws. I would personally also cut ends with him. He was the only adult figure left in Peter's life, and just like his dad, he betrayed him, not even privately, but he dragged his family in public.

But I can't fault Jim too much for it, his best friend did something terrible and he tried to cope with that in the only way he knew, by writing this article. I don't think he regretted it in the beginning. He probably thought Peter would come around later, but after years passed by, I do believe he would have done it differently. I think he also reached out to Peter after the Metro Bombing. He wouldn't have his number, but he would have sent a card at least.

What I find the saddest part is that both of them believe Peter Sr dying in a car crash that could have been a suicide attempt. I don't doubt Jim was angry at his best friend taking the easy way out. He was already convinced Pete was guilty. And now his best friend's son was all alone. They only had each other in that time, and then bam, the rift happened because both of them are too stubborn to see the situation from the other's perspective.

When Travers revealed that it was an assassination, you could see it on Peter's face that he had a moment where he was relieved, I guess. Despite strongly believing in his fathers innocence, there was probably doubt in his mind, and that doubt got louder and louder over the years. Him getting the closure his dad didn't just leave him alone because he was guilty. It must have been such a relief. I know Travers told him that the fate of his father will never reach the public, but with Jim back in his life, sorta, I want to believe he told him about it. Jim deserves this closure as well, despite him telling Peter his father's actions don't matter when it comes to Peter, but that was his best friend.

I also think Peter's blind idolization is the reason he became a night agent in the end, despite not really wanting to. After getting the confirmation his dad wasn't the bad guy, Peter felt like he had to continue his legacy. Making his dad proud, continue what he started. His dad was the reason he joined the FBI, and he's the reason he's a night agent. I just hope he won't face the same fate as him. (Sorry, this was even longer than yesterday)

OH MY GOD! I love you and all these night agent thoughts anon!!! I feel the exact same way about not having anyone to nerd out about this show with. Please, either keep the anon messages coming or reach out in DMs. I'd love to discuss more.

You are so right about Jim having a lot to process. I'd need to go back in the show, but it sounds like Jim became Peter's guardian after his father died. And if the article came out when Peter was about to go off to college, that would put them at 2-3 years of having lived together when Jim published that article. Like, yeah, I'd be a pretty pissed at Pete too, especially if he suspected it was a suicide. Not only is your best friend gone but now you're solely responsible for taking care of this teenager who had already lost his mom. I'm sure Jim started off investigating with the desperate hope that he would find proof that Pete was innocent, as much for Peter as for himself. But then he found the exact opposite and felt duty bound to report it. Like, hello Peter, you're both so honor/duty bound to your profession or your own idea of justice and don't even realize it!

(oh god, oh god, super sad, random thought but...no one was there to see Peter graduate college...I mean, Jim probably went and watched from afar but for all Peter knew, he was all alone that day).

I agree that Peter must have felt a little relief knowing it at least wasn't a suicide. Even knowing that it wasn't a random chance accident. Like there's a clear bad guy in this story now. Someone Peter can channel all his anger towards and take down.

I know the show will probably go down the patriotic, propaganda line of "no, it's just a few corrupt people. The institution is great. USA rules!" But, realistically imo, being a full night agent would just bring Peter face to face with more of the US's shady business and inhumane actions across the world. I really hope at the least S2 makes Peter confront his instinct to obey orders blindly with his need to do good and be good.

[eyeknowmayhem]

💘 and ❤️ for Ray, wingnut and mondo?

❤️ - How did your muse come to realize their romantic and sexual orientations? Was it difficult to accept? Are they proud of who they are?

Wingnut: they may watch a lotta tv as their main information in the outside world, but I think Wingnut did realize she liked girls because of one thing; not at all relating to the idea that girls are super boy crazy - because like, girls are just better. She assumed this was universal and very quickly realized this was not. I think it did kinda click when she used the interwebs to see other ppl’s cosplays of her favorite characters and was very much hit over the head with “holy shit, women!” Beam.

All jokes aside she’s fine with it! Her family accepts her as she is, there’s some teasing here and there about her complete lack of rizz when it comes to girls but that’s more to do with wingnut’s skill issue than her being gay. She’s not exactly a casonva.

Ray: he never really figured out he was gay specifically until a bit later. He knew he liked dudes he just didn’t really know there was a word for it. He would tend to gravitate towards more monstrous men- stuff like werewolves, sea creatures, some kinds of demons. Cuz, he’s not gonna pretend tht he’ll ever have a chance with human men. He says it’s pragmatism, it’s mostly just not feeling adequate enough. He won’t lie- he was a little jealous seeing how well Scumbug and splinter worked out.

Mondo: He loves everyone, and that translates to romantic love too. Mondo never really had a big realization, just as a fact of life and has gone through it knowing that’s just who he was. Honestly it may be a case where all of his siblings knew before he did LMAO. Probably the most likely to own a big ass tyedye bi flag. It’s one of the best qualities in his opinion- the flag colors are awesome.

💘 - What is your muse like when they're in love? What does your muse find attractive in someone else? What are their love languages? How do they show affection? Do they show any distinct signs that they're in love?

Wingnut: if she gets a crush she’s just over. Thats it. She’s done. I feel like- she does like women who- take up space. Loud outfits, loud personality’s, big women, even bigger hearts, enough tattoos to consider yourself a subway wall, the kind of confidence that feels contagious. Though, even with that type I think she’s way too nervous and shy and would make a fool outta herself somehow.

Give it time and she’ll mellow out a little more, offer to spend time doing things they both like. Most likely to end up word vomiting some kind of confession after awhile of simmering on it. In the end though, she’s got a lot of love to give and isn’t afraid to show it- most of the time.

Her love language is that she’s going to binge watch anime with you and talk the whole time (/JOKES) - but real talk. She loves spending time with the one she loves, even if it does mean she’ll have to sit through something she may not enjoy. The company is enough. She’s no stranger to weird, and if they love her weirdness, she’ll love it too.

Ray: unlike the nervous sorta deal Wingnut has his knowledge of having a crush would be - well, apprehension mostly. Especially if it’s a human. Cuz- ok, he can find plenty of men who like other men, they live in New York, but like. The whole “mutant” thing may be a a bit of a hard sell. Though not as much as it was before the humans had more knowledge of mutants. He’s still unsure about it all. Still, it doesn’t stop him thinking about it.

I answered most of the attraction part already in the other ask. As far as like, showing it. He would make a mixtape, then think about how stupid and corny it is to make a mixtape, sends it anyway. He has his own playlist of love songs that he has- he’d rather eat his own tail, stinger attached than ever tell anyone. This also applies to the crush - he’d never be the type to tell them directly; he’s more than content with the companionship. Because sure he’ll never say it with words but would be like- would use one of the “wings” to shield with rain, knows who their favorite musicians are, stuff like that.

Mondo: oddly enough I think he never gets crushes. Not- capital C crushes very often. He’s an affectionate guy and has a lot of love to share but it’s never really relevant if he’s romantically attracted to someone. For him it’s less like, any sorta qualities of someone it’s more a matter of like. It’s weird to describe but like almost like a soulmate sorta deal, where someone just- Gets You on a level few people can.

He doesn’t take love seriously, which isn’t to say he doesn’t care about it, or even hates it. just means it’s another part of life. So if he does like someone, it just means he’ll do what he always does! Invite someone to go to a rave with him, get frozen yogurt afterward, help practice skateboarding tricks at the park- and somewhere in the middle if he confesses or not, but it doesn’t make much difference to him.