#i slept. terribly.
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go to bed full of hope wake up full of dread and so on and so on
#i slept. terribly.#i have been. sleeping terribly for a while#maybe got three hours and i laid down to sleep at 10pm#i worry so much and i feel so scared constantly#and i can do what i can but ive realized that so much is out of my control#and all i can do is feel a lot of love. but i can’t do much else
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guess whose outfit is whose
#the anatomy said no#but i don’t care#shitty art is still art#also i haven’t slept in forever#and i drew this during a statistics lecture that was knocking me out#so that might excuse the terrible anatomy#anyways they are idiots#shitpost#bsd#art#bungou stray dogs#skk#soukoku#dazai osamu#digital art#chuuya nakahara#teen skk
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I’m with you, my love The lights shining through on you Yes, I’m with you, my love It’s the morning and just we two
#spike btvs#spuffy#spuffyedit#btvs#btvsedit#buffy the vampire slayer#it's terribly simple#you know you want to dance#injuries cw#bites and chews and gnaws on anyone who says buffy didnt love spike. BITES and CHEWS and GNAWS on them.#like is that not the whole point? of him? of his entire character arc? of his burning to ash as he breaks the sunnydale high school#(AKA buffy's personal cage within the slayer's cage that was sunnydale itself AKA the place where he and buffy first ever fought#and he nearly killed her for the very first time but was foiled by the immense love someone felt for her) as he breaks that place to rubble#in a way also very reminiscent of the first time they slept together and Literally Fucked A Building Down. anyway as he's doing ALL OF THAT#like sure she doesnt HAVE to love him she doesnt owe him anything and even if she did love isnt about obligation. but when buffy says#that she loves him in that scene. theres nothing to indicate that she doesnt feel it. that she isnt telling the truth.#idk man. people take a man who is dying telling someone not to love him as the gospel truth when i feel like its more ... like maybe he's#making a misguided effort to be kind? he's telling her ''dont get too hung up on the vampire thats about to catch on fire#and get your pretty ass out of here while you still can please.''#whatever. WHATEVER. in the perfect btvs that lives in my head most of ats isnt canon but esp the part where spike comes back and doesnt#immediately 1. ASK IF DAWN WAS OKAY 2. upon being told by angel that he cant be put in touch with buffy because [mumbles] misogyny?#go ahead and engage in a flirt campaign at harmony until she breaks down and calls buffy for him. those would be like the FIRST TWO THINGS#that spike did after he came back to unlife. first two things frfr#i'm gonna end the tag rant there. hmm
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bayek, doing some exploring :)
#assassin's creed#assassin's creed origins#bayek of siwa#SHRHSERHGHGHHhhhGHHGHH#manifesting a 2025 where i can achieve some kind of financial stability that lets me periodically justify taking a weekend off#to just draw some stuff and not feel some kind of awful chest crushing anxiety doom spiral about time wasted#anyway ive been chipping away at this one bc it took a million years to figure out how to achieve the sense of scale#i was imagining. also i read a book about akhenaten and it made my brain feel like it was turned to mush BUT it was extremely#interesting and now im deeply invested in a handful of egyptian dynasties#and somewhere in all of that i outlined two ac origins fan comics. after Acquiring Information on things#@ 2025 please PLEASE. give me a weekend where i can spend it all doing bayek fan comics#also i wish to acquire a new spine. i think. i slept on a much softer pillow than im used to and my entire body has been fucked for a week#like. my neck feels like a jenga tower where everything is out of place. and somehow. my hip feels TERRIBLE#i want to give my body some kind of deus ex upgrade. ehghhh
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Throwback to the first quilt I made for myself! Now, years later and having made a lot more quilts, there are some things I’d change but I still love it
#sewing#handmade#rainbow quilt#quilt#honestly the biggest change is that I’d put the purple by the red and pink instead of by the blue#I still love this quilt I think it turned out fantastic#and it honestly might be the reason why I really like simple quilt patterns that show off the fabric#not that complex quilt patterns can’t show off the fabric! they absolutely can!#this quilt is currently spread out all pretty because I slept in the living room last night#so that it wouldn’t be terribly hot while I was sleeping#it’s only like mid 80s upstairs not THAT hot but I am like one of those reptiles that requires a very specific temperature range#is it reptiles? or is it fish I’m thinking of#very specific husbandry requirements I guess but there’s gotta be a better word for that than husbandry
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One time I made myself cum as I was literally falling asleep so I dozed off right after then woke up a couple minutes later, hand still on my pussy, no clear memory I'd just cum so I started playing again and was all over sensitive and realised what had happened and I'd missed that comfy come down feeling after cumming 😔
#terrible#would have been the perfect opportunity for someone else to use me while i slept though just saying#Ns/fw post#ns/fw blog#ns/fw#ns/ft blog#ns/ft#fdom#bd/sm blog#bd/sm kink#bd/sm community#k!nk blog#k!nk community#petpl@y#puppy sub#subby puppy#soft fem dom#pet pl4y#cvm wh0re#br33d1ng#cvmaddict#fr33use#cnc k!nk#bd/sm daddy#free use slvt#rough cnc#kidnap roleplay#corruption k!nk#cumslave#cnc freeuse
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Calling out of work will never not feel terrible terrible bad terrible but I have to remind myself that I work for a corporate company so :/
#granted it feels terrible in the context of our individual atore#cause my manager is really nice#and i hate to call out but im sp exhausted#like cannot fathom getting out of bed rn tired#idk how long i slept but could have only been like an hour#smthn occured to me today about my 'sudden' health issues#is thag theyre not sudden#and i have a ballpark of when they started#but i have to make a timeline#i just didn't notice them the way i am now cause mental illness tends to distract me#and i also tend to just go go go until i cant anymore#i didnt notice them as much when i lived in the city cause i walked EVERYWHERE and couldn't afford to#pay attention to my body#so yeah#symptoms have been there since January 2022 at least#prob before that but i dont remember much of that
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What I love about this fandom is how we are all in love with Ferdinand despite him being the most unlikeable person ever. Like he is an anti-social, rude, cold-hearted, know it all snob and we love him all the more for it.
When he enters the story this is what we immediately learn about him, but he was kind to Myne. So we know there is more to him, but we have to wait till to get it. Until that moment in the Trombe subjugation we weren’t sure how to fell about Ferdinand nor how’d he react because he is always the first person to remind Myne of her place. She’s a commoner and despite guiding her he also doesn’t let her forget that. So when he backs Myne we finally know we can trust him like really trust him. And that he is someone to lean on.
And even before we learn his sad backstory(which again takes VOLUMES hell PARTS). We already love and trust him. His backstory doesn’t endear us to him, because we have long since had love for him. He doesn’t need a sad woobie backstory for us to feel for him and feel positively about him because like Myne he has long since proven himself to us. And while many people in story would liken spending time with him to torture, we know that despite all of that he is a good person, and loyal to a fault.
And honestly, he doesn’t really grow in that aspect, I mean he learns a little but the things I listed earlier are still very much his character flaws. He doesn’t grow past them, learn to be kinder, socialize more, or anything like that.
They’re still apart of his personality, they’re flaws but they are his.
And in keeping these flaws we retain the part of him the is undeniably Ferdinand.
We love Ferdinand despite the fact that if we met him in person many of us wouldn’t like him, and I think that’s one of the most fantastic things about AoaB
#ascendance of a bookworm#honzuki no gekokujou#ferdinand aob#but daddy I love him#he’s so funny#and so terrible#like undeniably the most annoying man#like Magdalena I get it#but also HOW CAN YOU NOT LOVE HIM#HES LITERALLY PERFECT??????#*Ferdinand comes out of his hidden room reeking of potions having not slept in a week nor has he eaten real food in 2*#This is your man?#yes that is my man 🥰#sadly he's too conventionally attractive to be a tumblr sexy man
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look at these losers they look like they stink
#beatles fanart#beatles#george harrison#john lennon#paul mccartney#ringo starr#the beatles#click for quality :)#redraw of a redraw of a redraw of a terrible drawing I made in 2018 that i’ve done to commiserate the fact that PAUL IS IN MY CITY RIGHT NOW#AND DESPITE MY BEST EFFORT I DID NOT GET TICKETS OR EVEN RESALE TICKETS AND IM SO MAD#anyway#every year without fail since I was 11 my winter arc has been me going insane over these fuckers again i fear it is over for me#q if you could spend a day with John how would you spend it ??#a: in bed#🫵🤨#they slept together ‘a lot’ guys don’t blame me im simply illustrating historical fact#this isn’t actually meant to be a ship post I just love how all 4 of them r little freaks about each other <3#beatle sandwich :3#4 headed monster#i would say non toxic masculinity male friendship goals but absolutely not they were none of those things#weirdos (/affectionate)#paul is mewing <33#j + p + g + r
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from concerning the book that is the body of the beloved by gregory orr
#i hope those words are in the right order i feel so groggy#slept TERRIBLY#woke up at 3am and managed to doze off lightly until 4:30 but it didn't feel particularly Restful#but at least i hope this means i won't end up napping during the day#Ardbert#warrior of light#fanart#speedpaint#i draw sometimes#Final Fantasy XIV#i kinda wanna have a tag for the fake retro stuff so they're all in one place but i need like 7 months of pondering time#if i Need a tag
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I am thinking about. The blood n knife n alcohol in Boone's room. And the broken mirror.
#nova transmits#fallout new vegas#craig boone#tw self harm#implications in the tags n such. anyways#is it from when carla was kidnapped? has henot cleaned up since it happened?#can he not bare to clear away the last thing he has of her no matter what a terrible reminder it is#or is it his. what does boone do when hes drunk and cant look at himself in the mirror he punched out a week ago#i think six slept in there once in the early days bc she was worried for boone and it continues to haunt her into adulthood#six vc. i was a child i shouldnt have been exposed to that. whatever it was. but also nobody should have left him in there.#why was that my job.#fallout
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im a sucker for redemption arc burningcheese dont get me wrong but mutually toxic burningcheese is now taking over 50% of my brain because how fun it is to play around with the dymanic
golden cheese cookie being the type of girl that goes “i can fix him” while burning spice cookie is like “i fucking ruin her lmao” the relationship being rocky and mildly codependent (gc gotta make sure the guy doesnt destroy a city in a post-breakup rampage ig, while for bs this is literally the only thing thats keeping him motivated enough to live) this is the best i could explain my view on this :’) i would love to have more fics/art of this concept because its so intresting ughh
#naynkitten#i had to yap this out before i slept so i wouldnt forget it bleugh#and another thing i wanna add im not talking about full on abusive type of thing#but yk it is rocky and mutually toxic theyre terrible for eachother but uh thug it out king/queen!!!#i imagine it not being like that alll the time theres still some fluff moments here and there#i might draw this someday idk#burning spice cookie#golden cheese cookie#golden cheese crk#burning spice crk#burningcheese#goldenspice
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Here, you're getting Fiddlestan Angst because I said so
The couple started fighting about something and Fidds wanted to try and bring Stan out of the Episode that started it
Fidds, holding the piglet: Stanley? Can I just... make a bit of an observation?
Stan: Why not? Isn't like I have anyone else to nag at me.
Fidds: *Cringes Slightly Before Sitting on the Floor with Stan* Honey, look at our daughter. And not just a glance, but get a good look at 'er.
Stan: *Looks at the Piglet* What about her?
Fidds, setting the piglet down: Think o' her as a chance.
Stan: A chance?
Fidds: Mhm. We're both in similar boats, ain't we? Two old men, bidin' their time the best way they can an' hoping nothin' their brains cook up will someday hurt someone they love. We've already lost people we care about, got 'em back in one way or another, and on top o' that, we're coverin' up part o' our pain with... *Looks at Their Wedding Bands*
Stan, following Fidds' gaze: *Hesitantly* You sayin' what I think you're sayin'?
Fidds, hurriedly: No! No, o' course not. I love ya, so much. Nothin' could change that... but... nothin' else is really gonna change, is it?
Stan: What do you mean?
Fidds: Human bein's are creatures o' habit. Anythin' that changes on a dime, intentional or not, could send a person into a spiral. That's why we don't like change. And the changes we need are bigger than th' two o' us care to even slightly admit.
Stan: So? Change isn't always better. Sometimes it's okay to stay the same. It's okay to pull the same con twice on the same person if it works! We're not hurting anyone or breaking anything!
Fidds: We're hurtin' ourselves, Stanley. Lettin' our minds do this t' us, not tryin' t' talk or work through it-
Stan: I DON'T TALK, FIDDS! YOU KNOW THAT!
The Piglet: *Squeals with Fear and Scrambles Behind Fidds*
Stan, instantly feeling guilty: Wait, no! I didn't mean to-
Fidds: I know, sweetie. It's okay. Let's just... go and get some sleep.
Stan, quietly: Okay...
Fidds: I love ya, sweetie. Never forget that.
Stan: I won't. I promise.
#Gravity Falls#Fiddlestan#And Then They Slept and Had Good Dreams and Everyone was Okay The End#But in All Seriousness Stan Would be Fucked Up#He and Fidds are Both Perfect and Terrible for Each Other#Don't Get Me Wrong#I Love Fiddlestan#But the Amount of Pain They'd Realistically Go Through is Insane
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It came to me in a vision:
The Lae'ddel
#i havent slept in over 24 hours#i'm beginning to see things not meant for mortal eyes#she speaks to me#lae'ddel#whispers terrible secrets#lae'zel#yaddle#bg3#baldurs gate 3#gith#githyanki#yoda#we have baldurs gate at home#baldurs gate 3 meme#bae'zel#do you think god stays in heaven because he too lives in fear of what he's created
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i'm so ambivalent about frigga! on one had i think the MCU treated her very poorly and so fandom should build her up and give her some more 'oomph,' on the other hand what fandom has done with her also annoys me because it apparently decided she's the good parent to be contrasted with her husband even when they did the exact same things.
so i always have the urge to "support" her by making her problematic in one way or another. and strange. she deserves to be strange.
#if we go with the 'unreliable narrator' take on the thor movies perhaps that narrator is frigga?#who else has motive to blame the poor parenting on odin and make it clear she did not cause either son to go A Bit Wrong#but she also supports them in a Proper Womanly Way being the most Motherly Mother of all time AND also a dutiful wife.#it's like one of those 'life of queen so-and-so's that monks used to write after queen so-and-so gave money to their monastery!#i also think fandom has almost entirely slept on how glaringly loki in particular has placed her on a pedestal#(i mean... other than by just agreeing with him on that)#so i like to make their relationship a little bit fucked up. i like to make her a bit terrible. i like to make him like that terribleness.#Oh Frigga No!#mcu tag
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watching death note for the first time and I’m obsessed with this little freak
#greasy little goblin who hasn’t slept in 75 yrs and looks extremely dehydrated#also probably stinky#I love him anyway#i like that autistic man#hope nothing terrible happens to him!#…#ALSO his gripers just always being out is KILLING ME#also my mom saw this scene on my screen and said he was scary looking lmao#and that his eye bags are terrible xsxsxs#l death note#death note#l#light yagami#anime
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