#i slept. terribly.
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go to bed full of hope wake up full of dread and so on and so on
#i slept. terribly.#i have been. sleeping terribly for a while#maybe got three hours and i laid down to sleep at 10pm#i worry so much and i feel so scared constantly#and i can do what i can but ive realized that so much is out of my control#and all i can do is feel a lot of love. but i can’t do much else
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guess whose outfit is whose
#the anatomy said no#but i don’t care#shitty art is still art#also i haven’t slept in forever#and i drew this during a statistics lecture that was knocking me out#so that might excuse the terrible anatomy#anyways they are idiots#shitpost#bsd#art#bungou stray dogs#skk#soukoku#dazai osamu#digital art#chuuya nakahara#teen skk
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What if Wally has a squeaker in his pompadour and that's partially why Barnaby bites his head
squeaky toy (slight noise warning)
#this vine popped into my head Instantly#forgive the terrible quality i did this Very Quickly & also its 1 am <3#not that that matters since i slept basically all day anyway <3#rambles from the bog#scribble salad
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Throwback to the first quilt I made for myself! Now, years later and having made a lot more quilts, there are some things I’d change but I still love it
#sewing#handmade#rainbow quilt#quilt#honestly the biggest change is that I’d put the purple by the red and pink instead of by the blue#I still love this quilt I think it turned out fantastic#and it honestly might be the reason why I really like simple quilt patterns that show off the fabric#not that complex quilt patterns can’t show off the fabric! they absolutely can!#this quilt is currently spread out all pretty because I slept in the living room last night#so that it wouldn’t be terribly hot while I was sleeping#it’s only like mid 80s upstairs not THAT hot but I am like one of those reptiles that requires a very specific temperature range#is it reptiles? or is it fish I’m thinking of#very specific husbandry requirements I guess but there’s gotta be a better word for that than husbandry
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la llorona
#i had a mapleshade design vision at 3am last night and slept terribly because i couldn’t stop thinking about drawing her#love you girl ❤️#mapleshade#warriors#warrior cats#wc#warrior cats designs
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One time I made myself cum as I was literally falling asleep so I dozed off right after then woke up a couple minutes later, hand still on my pussy, no clear memory I'd just cum so I started playing again and was all over sensitive and realised what had happened and I'd missed that comfy come down feeling after cumming 😔
#terrible#would have been the perfect opportunity for someone else to use me while i slept though just saying#Ns/fw post#ns/fw blog#ns/fw#ns/ft blog#ns/ft#fdom#bd/sm blog#bd/sm kink#bd/sm community#k!nk blog#k!nk community#petpl@y#puppy sub#subby puppy#soft fem dom#pet pl4y#cvm wh0re#br33d1ng#cvmaddict#fr33use#cnc k!nk#bd/sm daddy#free use slvt#rough cnc#kidnap roleplay#corruption k!nk#cumslave#cnc freeuse
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What I love about this fandom is how we are all in love with Ferdinand despite him being the most unlikeable person ever. Like he is an anti-social, rude, cold-hearted, know it all snob and we love him all the more for it.
When he enters the story this is what we immediately learn about him, but he was kind to Myne. So we know there is more to him, but we have to wait till to get it. Until that moment in the Trombe subjugation we weren’t sure how to fell about Ferdinand nor how’d he react because he is always the first person to remind Myne of her place. She’s a commoner and despite guiding her he also doesn’t let her forget that. So when he backs Myne we finally know we can trust him like really trust him. And that he is someone to lean on.
And even before we learn his sad backstory(which again takes VOLUMES hell PARTS). We already love and trust him. His backstory doesn’t endear us to him, because we have long since had love for him. He doesn’t need a sad woobie backstory for us to feel for him and feel positively about him because like Myne he has long since proven himself to us. And while many people in story would liken spending time with him to torture, we know that despite all of that he is a good person, and loyal to a fault.
And honestly, he doesn’t really grow in that aspect, I mean he learns a little but the things I listed earlier are still very much his character flaws. He doesn’t grow past them, learn to be kinder, socialize more, or anything like that.
They’re still apart of his personality, they’re flaws but they are his.
And in keeping these flaws we retain the part of him the is undeniably Ferdinand.
We love Ferdinand despite the fact that if we met him in person many of us wouldn’t like him, and I think that’s one of the most fantastic things about AoaB
#ascendance of a bookworm#honzuki no gekokujou#ferdinand aob#but daddy I love him#he’s so funny#and so terrible#like undeniably the most annoying man#like Magdalena I get it#but also HOW CAN YOU NOT LOVE HIM#HES LITERALLY PERFECT??????#*Ferdinand comes out of his hidden room reeking of potions having not slept in a week nor has he eaten real food in 2*#This is your man?#yes that is my man 🥰#sadly he's too conventionally attractive to be a tumblr sexy man
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from concerning the book that is the body of the beloved by gregory orr
#i hope those words are in the right order i feel so groggy#slept TERRIBLY#woke up at 3am and managed to doze off lightly until 4:30 but it didn't feel particularly Restful#but at least i hope this means i won't end up napping during the day#Ardbert#warrior of light#fanart#speedpaint#i draw sometimes#Final Fantasy XIV#i kinda wanna have a tag for the fake retro stuff so they're all in one place but i need like 7 months of pondering time#if i Need a tag
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I am thinking about. The blood n knife n alcohol in Boone's room. And the broken mirror.
#nova transmits#fallout new vegas#craig boone#tw self harm#implications in the tags n such. anyways#is it from when carla was kidnapped? has henot cleaned up since it happened?#can he not bare to clear away the last thing he has of her no matter what a terrible reminder it is#or is it his. what does boone do when hes drunk and cant look at himself in the mirror he punched out a week ago#i think six slept in there once in the early days bc she was worried for boone and it continues to haunt her into adulthood#six vc. i was a child i shouldnt have been exposed to that. whatever it was. but also nobody should have left him in there.#why was that my job.
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i'm so ambivalent about frigga! on one had i think the MCU treated her very poorly and so fandom should build her up and give her some more 'oomph,' on the other hand what fandom has done with her also annoys me because it apparently decided she's the good parent to be contrasted with her husband even when they did the exact same things.
so i always have the urge to "support" her by making her problematic in one way or another. and strange. she deserves to be strange.
#if we go with the 'unreliable narrator' take on the thor movies perhaps that narrator is frigga?#who else has motive to blame the poor parenting on odin and make it clear she did not cause either son to go A Bit Wrong#but she also supports them in a Proper Womanly Way being the most Motherly Mother of all time AND also a dutiful wife.#it's like one of those 'life of queen so-and-so's that monks used to write after queen so-and-so gave money to their monastery!#i also think fandom has almost entirely slept on how glaringly loki in particular has placed her on a pedestal#(i mean... other than by just agreeing with him on that)#so i like to make their relationship a little bit fucked up. i like to make her a bit terrible. i like to make him like that terribleness.#Oh Frigga No!#mcu tag
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Hi everyone! Hope you've had a good week and that the weather's been treating you well. It's been one hell of a hot summer for me. 😅
Next Update (Chapter 3? Quite Possibly!):
Intro Scene (if not on music fest route): 100%
Music Fest Routes (Solo, V, and Amara): 100%
Club Pyre Path: 100%
Editing: 40%
Coding: 55?% (Possibly even more!)
Bug Testing: 0%
Gotten a solid chuck of editing done this last week! At the rate things are going, I'm (tentatively) estimating the next demo update may be ready by the end of August to beginning of September. 🤞
As for the coding, I've started porting some of what I've already edited into Twine, hence actually having a percentage this week. I've also axed a small scene that I decided was unnecessary for the plot which has speed things up a tad. All in all, things are going good!
#redo; rewind if#interactive fiction#if game#progress report#the only thing i have to complain about is how tired i am today#i slept fine and yet my brain refuses to cooperate#absolutely terrible brain fog that with my luck will clear up right as i go to sleep tonight#and then i'll get a sudden burst of inspiration for my writing and have to jot down all my ideas in my notes app at 3 am#which will (as is tradition) only be somewhat coherent when i read them in the morning
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It came to me in a vision:
The Lae'ddel
#i havent slept in over 24 hours#i'm beginning to see things not meant for mortal eyes#she speaks to me#lae'ddel#whispers terrible secrets#lae'zel#yaddle#bg3#baldurs gate 3#gith#githyanki#yoda#we have baldurs gate at home#baldurs gate 3 meme#bae'zel#do you think god stays in heaven because he too lives in fear of what he's created
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Some days being autistic feels like you're playing a video game on the hardest possible difficulty settings, with no instructions and your health down to 1%, while everyone else gets to play in easy mode with directions (so they always know what to do next) and unlimited health cheats.
Sure, being late-diagnosed means you're aware that you're playing on hard mode. Now you know you will struggle and you can give yourself grace and accommodations.
But some days it all feels so unfair...
Why do I have to constantly struggle at things that seem to come so naturally to others?
#i'm just tired man#autism#actually autistic#just autism things#i don't even know if this makes any sense but i hope it does#i slept terribly and then had a driving lesson which i hated every second of because my spatial awareness is absolutely atrocious#life is just hard i don't know how i'm ever meant to not struggle and even WANT to do half the things that are expected of me#spud rants#:( din djarin not being real and therefore not being able to wrap me in his arms feels particularly cruel today
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Minutetech design sketch
#minutetech#lssmp#lifesteal smp#lifesteal fanart#I need to start drawing all of them more angry and disheveled Lifesteal is a hellhole#More psychotic and like they haven’t slept for a week and have constant plot of revenge#I hated that bow tie but I just instead went with it and now minute looks like a rich asshole that just got out of bed#It’s perfect and I need to make the rest of them just as terrible
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frothing at the fucking mouth over the lil Howdy Approved teaser. what does it mean!!!! im gonna need to make sure im awake for the drop!! that will be tough!
#pingponging Off The Walls-#is it a new puppet? is it howdy? is it merch?#if its merch then i Definitely need to make sure im awake for the drop just in case its limited#i mean! its definitely something Physical!!!#a shoe behind the curtain!!! someone is back there!#i cant tell if theyre saddle shoes or not... if so then HI WALLY <3#the caption also points to it being some sorta wally merch... the capitalization of Darling the 'howdys place' branding#absolutely unprompted#im gonna have to set an alarm or somethn...#ive been sleeping too much! i feel Terrible!#today i slept for 10 hours then was awake for a whopping 30 minutes before passing back out for another 3#so! three days to fix my nonexistent schedule! FRIDAY!!!!#friday friday friday whatever it is IM EXCITED!!!#finally! something to look forward to!!
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.
#i have the growing suspicion that our head of finances does not want to let me have my phone unlocked from the network#it's my workphone and it's a dual sim one so i could be able to put in my private sim which some of my collagues still use#and it would let me carry only one phone not two so it's simply a convenience thing#and if there is a fee to do it i'd gladly pay but somehow she thinks it's unnecessery and i don't know#just why#i have slept 5 hours since sunday and i'm already not doing great and like#this is such a stupid trivial thing#why does it bother her so much#i'm usually not terribly bad at understanding shit but i don't understand this scenario#anyway#i'm just misdirecting my stress and anxiety again because otherwise i'd cease to function#levynn tries to think
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