#i slept terribly last night
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It still amuses me that because I have both Halsin and Minthara in camp, Halsin just gets stuck out on the ground somewhere and doesn't have a tent anymore.
Anyway, Rakha takes a little while in camp with Wyll to settle down after the Shadowfell/sheep adventure. It takes her a bit, because she really is just feeling terrible from a lot of different things at this point and it's all kind of stacking up; in this case she also feels pretty humiliated, both by the embarrassingly juvenile transformation and her own response to it.
Luckily none of her party really pushes the issue - Minthara definitely found the whole thing amusing but is smart enough not to make a show of it, and Lae'zel I think also found it funny but was more concerned about Rakha's well-being. Wyll would have found it funny if it was anyone other than Rakha, but as it is, he just sits with her and holds her hand and lets her lean on him steadily.
After a while she does speak a bit. The first thing she says is that if Volo finds out from any of them what happened and starts making a song about it, that she won't be responsible for what she does after that. :P
Eventually, though, she goes to check in with Halsin about the curse situation.
"Thaniel is resting," he says, "but it's no easy slumber. I discovered what's wrong with him. The shadows rended him in two when they bore him away to the Shadowfell. Half of his essence remained here amidst the curse. What stayed behind would have been the strongest part of him, but after all these years left in darkness, corruption must have taken hold."
Rakha listens quietly to this. She feels like she is waiting for the handing down of a verdict. Life or death. Will the curse be cleansed or will it remain, burning on her skin, forever?
"Can it be undone?" she prompts sharply.
"Perhaps," Halsin says, which is a much less certain answer than she would have liked. "If we can find Thaniel's lost half and make him whole again. Only...the missing half may not come willingly. The curse will have sunk its tendrils deep, twisting Thaniel's essence into something... else."
It's not really much to go on. But Rakha squints thoughtfully, tying these words to another moment out in the shadows - the strange boy laced in green luminescence. "I met a sort of shadow child before," she says slowly. "A little boy named Oliver. Around Thaniel's age."
Halsin's eyes widen. "And you saw this boy yourself?" At once he is energized again, hope back in his expression. "That can't be a coincidence, but we need to be sure..." He hesitates, draws his head back slightly. "And I truly mean *we*, if you wish," he adds, with an odd caution that she can't quite account for. "Every moment counts, and I've asked much of you already without being at your side."
Rakha grunts wearily. She had really hoped that this might finally be a day ending in good news - that they would strike a blow against the terrible broken magic in this wasteland. But why should things start being simple now? At least there is a possible next step to follow - if she can manage to find Oliver again out there in the dark.
"All right," she says with a slight shrug. "Leave it to me."
#bjk plays bg3 durge#rakha the dark urge#gonna leave it there for tonight#i was gonna try to go get oliver tonight as well to clear the decks to go to the mausoleum on saturday#but i'm honestly zonked#i slept terribly last night#so on sat i will finish out the business with oliver and THEN go to the mausoleum :D#brace yourself rakha#the clown makeup and the sheep were actually only the tip of the iceberg XD
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i am so full of food. i hope to sleep really well tonight
#bean's random thoughts#my appetite returned real abruptly today#and im so happy about it#but it meant that. i was REALLY hungry during class#because i cant have lunch until like 2 pm despite getting up at 7#i wish so bad that there was a dedicated lunch time on campus#like no classes during this specific time because people need to EAT. at a reasonable time.#i COULD technically eat in class. like theres no rules for that. but like. my anxiety makes me prefer starving over eating around people#without a friend around#no idea why but its very inconvenient#anyways. i will sleep well#i hope#i slept terribly last night
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I read a Batman comic before bed last night and then I kept dreaming about fighting villains in my hometown like it was Gotham. Do not recommend!
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Throwback to the first quilt I made for myself! Now, years later and having made a lot more quilts, there are some things I’d change but I still love it
#sewing#handmade#rainbow quilt#quilt#honestly the biggest change is that I’d put the purple by the red and pink instead of by the blue#I still love this quilt I think it turned out fantastic#and it honestly might be the reason why I really like simple quilt patterns that show off the fabric#not that complex quilt patterns can’t show off the fabric! they absolutely can!#this quilt is currently spread out all pretty because I slept in the living room last night#so that it wouldn’t be terribly hot while I was sleeping#it’s only like mid 80s upstairs not THAT hot but I am like one of those reptiles that requires a very specific temperature range#is it reptiles? or is it fish I’m thinking of#very specific husbandry requirements I guess but there’s gotta be a better word for that than husbandry
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😵💫
#been sick all week#woke up on monday with the worst sore throat i've had in ages#over the course of the week the symptoms have gradually shifted...my throat has gradually been improving and isn't too bad right now#but my sinuses took a nosedive...slept terribly last night cuz i kept tossing and turning trying to find a position in which i could breath#and as of today I have a weird symptom that I've never had with a cold before: my right ear is all ringy#it's messing up the sounds#not really muffled like you'd get with a clogged ear from like an airplane#more like there's a tinny audio distortion filter on my eardrum#everything sounds off-key and slightly echoey in that ear#very weird very annoying and disorienting#i mean....i suppose it could be worse....at least i'm not nauseous or anything#still got to enjoy christmas dinner and such#but man. definitely not at my peak#i hope it all clears up soon i'd really like to properly enjoy some of my days off before I have to go back to work next week....
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I very much enjoy booping, but tumblr is running like ass today and I'm already low on spoons so I'm not returning boops as well as I'd like :(
#I'm not sure if it's because I didn't sleep well last night or something else#last night was my first night in like 3 months I've been off of my sleep meds#my doctor's trying something that's safer for long-term use but my insurance is taking#its sweet time approving the new stuff and I can't get a refill on my old stuff unless the new stuff doesn't work XD;;;;#I'm impressed I actually made it out of bed before noon today tbh#I'm not sure if I just got really lucky of if I actually fixed my sleep schedule this time#I tried once before 2yrs ago and it kind of worked but then I got covid and everything went to hell so I didn't try again#then a few months ago I got sucked into relying on my meds because I have addictive tendencies and it's REALLY nice being able to sleep#regularly after a lifetime of bad sleep#I really hope last night wasn't a fluke because I'd love to not be reliant on meds to sleep#like I slept terribly compared to on the meds but normally the rebound insomnia from coming off is like 10x's worse than last night#like I normally just don't sleep for a day after going off the meds#but I got like 4-5hrs during the night and actually woke up in the morning. That's HUGE for me unmedicated#I'm very tired#emmy ramblings
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Maybe you're more attracted to him now because of the kink. You saw him sick, and he saw you sick. Those wires might have crossed somewhere!
Ahskaksjkas you know what, maybe that is it lmaooo
#not snz#I'm literally just so 🥺#and I'm at work rn so I'm even more like 👀🥺 lmao#i swear I'm gonna end up with another migraine tho 😭 i barely slept last night and I'm exhausted#me and all the coworkers hugging and consoling each other bc none of us wanted this 😭#i swear I'm not leaving the house for the next four years 😭#I'm just hoping now that it ends up not being as terrible as we're expecting it to be 😔#also my fire coworkers texting me like 'sorry about your rights' 😭#anyway#vibing at work rn pretending that everything is fine ahskakks#at least there's food trucks 😔#partner posting
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i've been staying up until 2 or 3 for most of this week (not on PURPOSE but it has been happening) and man i am going to regret this later
#my mom was telling me about how for her entire last semester of college her grandmother had to wake her up bc she slept through every alarm#and like. i'm not there right now. not there YET. but uh. soon!#sb and l rambles#essbie does college#had an AMAZINGLY fun night tonight though. stayed up for fun reasons and not terrible reasons!!! i love my friends#i love my friends i love my friends i love my friends#okay sleep time now goodnight everyone
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harry the type to get asian flush from his forehead down to his neck, hermione the type to have all her joints inflame by next morning and hurting harder than period cramps, and ron the type to pass tf out and wake up needing to guzzle a jug of water in the middle of the night
#theyre all me#suffering the consequences of last nights actions rn#i dont usually get hungover like this but omg its terrible and so not worth it😭😭#harry potter#hp#ron weasley#hermione granger#golden trio era#golden trio#hp golden era#they wake up and all three of them are in the same queen size bed having slept through the worst night of their lives 💀💀#ron cant even talk because hes so parched#hermione too disoriented to know where she is#and harry is only in his underwear because he got too hot in the middle of the night and drunkenly stripped and crawled back into bed 🙏#rewriting
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I can’t tell if I want to read some thing new or reread an old comfort book
#Rachel in real life#cramps have been terrible all day and I barely slept last night#but yes I am hugging my hardback copy of modern divination to my chest
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sorry i just. need to rant for a second
#cause dude the whole joost situation is SO fucking upsetting#he's mentioned over and over again how overwhelming this whole overnight success thing has been for him and to respect his boundaries#and instead of yk respecting his wishes “fans” go and make things worse by constantly overstepping and being creepy and weird like hello???#like why can't we all just be normal and take a step back and enjoy things#these people are gonna end up driving him off the internet and i wouldn't blame him one bit#and the worst part is the people who should get the memo obviously don't (or refuse to) bc this isn't an isolated instance#like its been going on for a while now#idk man i just think about how hard it must be for him rn#one of the things that turned me into a joost fan (besides his music) was his personality#like i obviously dont know him on a personal basis#but from the little bits ive seen he comes across as a really genuine and sweet and kind dude#super thoughtful as well. like i just love the way he thinks and his take on things#like i remember watching his eurovision interviews and just thinking oh man this dude's a ray of sunshine LMFAO#also the literal definition of resilience like dude's been through so much stuff and hes always managed to come out on top despite of it#and thats something i really admire about him too. like the way he put it as not letting your traumas be just that#but also something that can drive you forward#but yeah dude's had more than enough like he deserves to be happy and have some peace and ppl keep ruining it for him and it makes me upset#like i actually slept like shit last night and woke up feeling terrible and i wonder if what went down yesterday w the whole live thing#has anything to do with it lmfao#and you may be like ok well youre taking it too personally and letting it affect you#and yeah maybe youre right LOL but i cant help it i care about the guy and i want him to be okay#he seems to have a really good support system though so i hope things blow over soon and he can finally have some peace#anyway. rant over! 💋#raquel speaks
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Hi
I hope my message finds you well 🍉❤️
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#once again. you all know what to do. donate if you can. share if you dont have any bucks!#comet answers#free palenstine#sorry if i talk like this by the way. i havent slept last night.#i cant donate because were saving money on important family stuff. but im always willing to share your fundraisers!#also this one goes out to all the palestinian families out there who asked me to donate. Im terribly sorry... I really hope you all get the#help you all need.#everyone. GO DONATE AND SHARE. IF YOU CANT DONATE. JUST SHARE! THESE PEOPLE NEED OUR HELP. AND WE HAVE#MORE POWER THAN WE THINK!
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worried that I will enjoy the upcoming Swedish Roxette musical more than a normal amount
#just almost started crying when watching the sitzprobe clips that's all#oh man. maybe it's just because I slept terribly last night#but I'll be taking the ferry so I'll sleep terribly before seeing the musical too. so maybe it's an accurate reaction actually#ihmisraunio.#Nordic musical theatre
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having a physical form sucks so bad literally every action (and inaction) has consequences & ramifications
#slept terribly bc apparently according to my body i didn't eat enough last night. thanks body. could you not have notified me of this#yesterday? when i could do something about it? but noooo we just have to suffer until breakfast-time -_-
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i got hit with like. nauseating anxiety a couple hours ago and i dont know how to make it stop
#wind howls#i have this horrible scary feeling that something terrible and world shattering is about to happen#and that really makes me feel horrible bc my sister and her boyfriend are abt to travel#and my parents and my baby sister are going on a mini trip this weekend. my sibling is dog sitting for my sister.#and my brother may or may not stay home ? he talks about throwing a party for his birthday but thats next month.#i used to love being home alone as a child. i used to feel like it brought me peace and calm like nothing else.#but nowadays its so rare (what with covid and my parents mostly working from home) that being home alone pivoted to making me scared#which really sucks ! my paranoia spikes up so bad and the dread makes me feel sick to my core !#my mom is going on a work trip to quebec city tomorrow and im also scared abt that because i cant be normal about anyone else travelling#im fine when i travel like on a plane. im okay with buses and train. cars scare me but i tolerate them#but when its other people suddenly i get so paranoid its debilitating.#the sense of dread i feel rarely is justified. i know this. i know this is not rational. i cant make it stop.#why are you so scared ! why am i so scared ! what happened ! i used to be so good at being alone ! i used to be so good !#i loved being alone ! why cant i be that way anymore !#i will try to sleep. please wish me luck. maybe im this way bc i slept like dogshit last night. i dont know. i dont feel good.
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Awake but I don’t wanna get out of bed I’ve just been visualizing a glass of water for the past twenty minutes
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