#i sketched this but idk if i’ll ever actually draw it so i’m calling anyone to do with this whatever they want

[cable-salamder]

In drs2p2 someone should say the word “host” or “game-show” in Jay’s earshot in a completely different context but he ends up remembering nothing but that like one year or so where for some reason that was his profession.

[shoyouth]

Hey you’re writing is really cute and I saw your hcs for a mc with a girlfriend and I really loved it! Do you think you can do a ikevamp suitors react to a transgender mc? One who was born female but identifies as a man? Lgbqt otome fans don’t get enough love so I’d be super awesome if you could write something ❤️

Hello darling!! I’m so sorry this took me a month or so to get to, but I’m glad to be doing it now! I also had an ask for a non-binary!mc but since I feel like all the suitors would treat the two similarly, I’ll be trying my best to fit it into one/accommodate both here :) hope you enjoy, love! Please lmk if anything sounds sketchy/offensive, since I don’t have experience with this myself!

napoleon ; okay. You stare at him dumbstruck bc he’s not taken aback for a moment, he just shrugs and then asks if you want to spar. I feel like he’d treat you v similarly to issac and jean even if you are his lover, bc there’s a v specific respect and care he treats those two with, a way he looks out for them. Would never falter with your pronouns, and if anyone makes a comment he’s like?? Your point?? They’re obv a man/non-binary, idk how you’re seeing a woman. He would also never hesitate to draw out his sword if anyone dared to grow a little too bold/rude.

arthur ; handsome ol’ chap! absolutely slathers you in compliments to validate your identity and make you feel confident, you almost wonder if he likes the way calling you by your pronouns rolls off his tongue. Though he normally was into women, I don’t think he would be opposed to dating you at all, and would grow icy with others who made comments about your relationship. He’s be very vocally supportive, but his teasing compliments will take a softer, more sincere turn if you ever need him to remind you that you’re valid.

mozart ; I see him helping you fix up your appearance ngl? Like not spending a bunch like comte, but silently aiding you in how to appear/act manly/non-binary for the 1800s, such as fixing/trimming your hair into a more “fashionable” look for the times, or nonchalantly informing you that your sleeves should be a little longer. He doesn’t do this to invalidate you at all! He thinks it’s a more subtle way of helping you feel confident navigating their world in your own way. Never hesitates to inform you that you look rather dashing that evening, or to run his finger along your chin with a proud/loving gaze in his eyes.

leonardo ; he’s immortal, he’s heard many a things that haven’t been considered ‘the norm’ for the times. He just kind of nods and takes a step back to admire your face, saying that your features are beautifully androgynous/masculine. If you bind your chest, he’ll frown if you suggest using a kind of corset, and will instead get to work tinkering a more comfortable and safe binding for you to use. Always refers to you as your desires pronouns, and corrects anyone who uses incorrect ones nonchalantly. He likes that he can get away with certain things with you that normal het couples wouldn’t be able to.

vincent ; I think he’d be intrigued and easily adapt to your pronouns; he’d treat you with respect regardless. He’s probably heard of transgender/non-binary before, but I think he, like leo, would spend a lot of time admiring your face and the way you present yourself. Will constantly compliment you, but unlike arthur, it’s not to fluster you or subtly make you feel confident, but bc he keeps finding things about you to be in awe of. You’ll be a very common subject in his sketches and paintings because of the way you hold yourself.

theo ; His brows raise a bit, but they lower just as quickly and he accepts it. You almost think he doesn’t care/remember bc he always calls you a dog instead of your name/pronoun, but he instantly corrects anyone who uses the wrong one, and glares at anyone who gives you shit. If you ever get down on yourself for your appearance not matching your identity, he sternly sits you down and firmly lists everything about you he finds beautiful and fitting to what you want to be. And though it wasn’t his intention, you never fail to grow flustered bc of the little details he’s picked up on, due to the nature of his job rubbing off on his own perceptiveness.

issac ; A little flustered boy. Similar to jean, I think he’d have the right attitude but be a bit clumsy about it. He doesn’t want to offend you! Ofc being trans/a man/non-binary doesn’t matter, he just loves you, but he’s anxious and overthinks how he address you, how he acts around you. Should he not call you petnames? Are those considered feminine? Am I invalidating them by using them?? He just grows stiff and nervous and you have to remind him to breath: just use the correct pronouns and respect you, there’s not much else to it. After a while he relaxes and it comes easier, but he just doesn’t want to lose someone else he loves of his own doing.

dazai ; I will admit he’s a little hard to grasp for me, but I believe that elusiveness is a part of his character anyways lol. Nothing about how he perceives you changes. You’re still you, aren’t you? Doesn’t matter what gender you are, what name you go by, what appearance you have. Maybe his nickname for you will change, but that’s it. I feel like with him you may not even be aware of your gender/it’s impact, bc when you’re with him it doesn’t matter, so you feel light and free from having to think about/act like your identity. You’re just you.

jean ; I think he would be open-minded to it, albeit confused. If you took the time to explain to him what you identify as and what it means, he’ll accept it, not one for many questions. I personally believe he’d be awkward about it a bit?? But would never treat you wrong! I mean in the sense of those clumsy lgbtq+ supporters with the right attitude, if that makes sense lol? So unsurely asking if you’d like to spar...? Or constantly looking to you for confirmation on things you like, what you do, etc etc. Ik jean is supposed to be silent and intimidating, but I imagine him as a clumsy man whose seen too much and doesn’t know how to act bc he was robbed of a childhood, so yeah hopefully this makes sense!

comte ; he’s seen even more than leonardo bc he’s immortal and timetravels; it doesn’t phase him. Tbh he just beckons you to come shopping with him so he can find you the latest male/androgynous fashion, with charming suits and coats and hats. For binding, he’ll try his best to buy you a safe kind, or he may enlist Leonardo’s help or even go to the future to find you one—nothing is too much/expensive when it comes to you. Will always treat you right/like royalty, and remind you that you’re valid and anything you need to feel that way, he will make it so. Gets a v dangerous look in his eye if someone disrespects you.

sebastian ; he’s from the future, so nothing new. Honestly he may even be relieved?? Idk he’s just so formal and polite that I think he’d feel more relaxed with another masculine/non-binary individual from the future, bc he would be able to talk in a certain way he would feel wasn’t as “proper” with a woman, if I’m making sense? He’d have no problem refering to you as your identity, and will always find a way to make you feel comfortable/valid, even if he needs to try and sew his own version of a binder for you.

shakespeare ; okay I’m sorry for those who like shakespeare but I feel like he’d lowkey fetishize it oof. Just like how I think he’d use unrequited love of a lesbian!mc to fuel his plays, he’d think of you as interesting inspiration—at first, at least. He’d run his hand through your hair, down your lapels as he admires you, amused, and it’s only if you grew cross and forced him to see you as your identity/a person, that he may fix his unhealthy perception. After reading Vincent’s route, I’ve come to think that you really need to push against him to reach his actual feelings/past his unstable/dangerous side. Once he’s over that, he would love to cast you as male roles in his plays, bc you have even more conviction than the regular men tbh.

[sword-of-summer]

hey hey hey, loki breakdown coming up,

so uhhh basically, I'll begine with a recap-

The Avengers of Earth 199999 travelled back in time to get the Infinity Stones to reverse the snap and they returned the Stones back to their original timelines just to ensure that there are no split Dark Dimensions where the above said reality is, as The Ancient One said, "their chief weapon against the forces of darkness".

Now, your beloved Captain America did return the Stones, yes, but because of the clumsy Avengers, yes, Stark, Nebula and Scott Lang to be exact, there were a few alternate Dark/weird timelines that evolved and remained unsolved as by the end of the movie.

Now, chief examples of these are -

The timeline where Loki used the Tesseract to escape, i.e., the upcoming Loki series,

The timeline where in 2014, there is no Thanos cause he travelled in time to Earth-199999 and got himself snapped,

And the timeline that Cap created just to have a normal life-

Now, The Loki series focuses on the first point I made, so yeah, let's begin.

The Marvel Multiverse has a section of Time Cops called The TVA, aka The Time Variance Authority, that is, these people oversee all the worlds and make sure no one screws up the future, the past, or the present and life continues as it is. Now, a background history from the trailer - The man in the lift is Mobius M Mobius, the director of TVA, and he controls everything, so he can blabber and tease Loki with no one to stop him - anyway, the TVA has an arch nemesis in the comics, ofcourse, cause we need supervillian duhh, and his name is Kang The Conqueror/Nathaniel Richards. This man, with the Collector, brought about the Contest of Champions, so we know he's no joke. Anyway, Kang is a time travelling warlord who brings his own self back from alternate timelines to work for him, this creating infinite Kangs, all ruled by a Kang Supreme at the end of Time. Now, what he desires is Chaos- he wants Time to be dissolved so that the only aura that exists is of Kang himself, aka The Conqueror- also, Judge Ravonna Renslayer, seen in the promos, is Kang's love interest- so, yeah, Kang is our best bet as a bigger villain-

So that was the comic part- now for the trailer. Apparently, the Avengers meddled in the timelines, but the TVA saw the other small broken timelines and needed someone to blame, and of course, it's Loki. Interesting fact is, they appear to be extracting some sort of timeline-setting-right work from him, cause someone is still messing with the Times, idk who but someone. Now, funny story - in the TVA conference room, they show Loki the iconic Avengers 2012 pose where Hawkeye draws an arrow and the other drama queens pose, but the second visual that is shown is of Loki rescuing Asgardian people during Ragnarok, which is fishy, because this Loki was just defeated by The Avengers in 2012, and he does not know about the 2017 events of Ragnarok.

So obviously, the TVA is showing him his future and will maybe show him his inevitable death at the hands of Thanos to get him to do their dirty work. So, as evident in the trailer, Loki visits alternate timelines, sets things right [somewhat]- So we see alternate worlds, mixed timelines, beautiful scenes, planets, it's just- hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh--

There has been footage of a fire sword- ARSON, hehehehehe, so, that's Lævateinn, Loki's sword from Norse mythology- another sword was seen strapped to his back? and I'm guessing that's Gram, Bane Of Asgard, his Truth Sword- it can force anyone to tell the truth- kinda ironic, as Loki lies all the time and HE gets a truth sword?????? apart from that, he has his knives- hhhhhh, his knives

Now, there's a hooded figure that appears and also there's been some speculation that Black Widow was the woman sitting on the bench in the trailer- but that's Lady Loki, guys, cause as we know, Loki is a gender fluid god, so he can and he does, so there's a "she" too, yay... now for the ending flight of the trailer - that is the legend of D.B. Cooper- he hijacked an American flight and stole money and parachuted, but the funny thing is even though the passengers gave a sketch and he wore typical rounded shades just like Loki does, in real life no one ever found him, just a couple of bills in the river where he parachuted- now that's where the series connects to this modern mystery, cause Loki looked just like the man, he parachuted, and when the Bifrost came, he left some bills, so yup that's another cool detail. Also the last reel is from the Loki Runs For President comic book, where Loki actually runs as a President for the USA- all of these are Variants of Loki, a manifestation of his Chaos as he navigates through timelines and realities and spreads his own brand of Mischief Magik- the new shot shows him being a diva in ancient Rome- so he caused Pompeii?!?!?!?!! we'll see- it was not a wise decision to give a god of mischief the power to time travel, sigh, bad move from TVA-

Now, my continuity opinion is that it will connect to Ant Man 3, aka Ant Man And The Wasp - Quantumania. Kang the Conqueror has been confirmed for Ant Man 3, and we know he connects to the TVA. Now, he bears an importance to the Quantum Realm - back in Ant Man and The Wasp, when Hank rescues Janet from the Quantum Realm, just before they go back to normal size, a brief glimpse of a miniature city is seen - a Quantum city - now this is most probably Kang's city, Chronopolis, inhabited by all Kangs and ruled by Kang, so he is the villian. Maybe Janet knows him, she survived all these years, and maybe she plans to thwart his plans of time domination using Quantum Energy. So maybe the Stopping Of Kang is started by Loki, but he being Mischief personified does little, so it continues in Ant Man 3.

Hoping for a Kang/Heimdall/Frigga cameo!!

thanks for reading, this got a bit too long--

[mcrmadness]

Gosh I have a TERRIBLE urge to post some die ärzte fanart content or other creations here RIGHT NOW but the thing is: I should create that before I can post it!!!

I just spent some time editing a few art behind-the-scenes posts and idk if those interest that many people so it’s not really the same as posting actual art - all of those drawings or comics I have already posted here before anyway. And my comics are not really that liked here anyway so I guess I’ll keep drawing for myself and those... idk, 5? 6? people who seem to find them even relatively interesting. I still have 3 more comics waiting to be drawn out there. I mean, I did the lines for the panels and I should just get to sketching whenever I just get on that mood again.

I also have this other drawing process I’m very excited over and want to start working on asap BUT. There’s this one big but. My current pencil WIP. I usually never start a new project if I haven’t finished with the previous one because that reduces the chances for ever getting motivated for continuing the WIP in the future.

And I figured that I really love the part where I am drawing, blending and erasing and seeing the drawing to come alive and turn into 3D image BUT I hate the fact I can never get the lines perfect at one go and I then spend days on polishing some fine details and I still don’t get anywhere. I just feel that I’m trying to run in deep snow and all I do is to either walk backwards or simply just be stuck in that snow without being able to move forward at all.

With the current WIP I’m at that phase where I’m stuck to snow but just can’t get forward. There’s things to do and fix but I just absolutely hate it because no matter how hard I try, I cannot achieve what I try to achieve. Sometimes I don’t see what’s wrong (90% of the time), sometimes I do but I feel almost helpless because no line I draw will be the way it should. It’s like I can’t control my hand and I don’t understand why. I think I’m drawing the correct looking line but then I compare it to the image and it’s like from a different world and I wonder if I have even been looking at the same photo as what my hand is trying to copy.

So I really want to start the next project because it involves lots of drawing and blending and erasing - but I have the WIP, too. And I don’t want it to be WIP any longer. I want it to be finished. But I am too stubborn to call it a day because it will bother me forever if I now leave it like it is because it CLEARLY ISN’T FINISHED.

I still look at the previous pencil drawing I did and altho I really like what the technique looks like, it still bugs the heck out of me because it isn’t perfect. There’s so many things wrong with so many things, mainly the eyes, but there’s nothing I can do now because I already used fixative on it. Partially just to prevent mysef from ever touching the drawings again! But now I’m already having trouble looking even at my icon because I drew it but I feel more like I would have butchered that image instead and now seeing my icon will remind me of the bad decision I made and how much I hate the little mistakes in that drawing. Even when I told myself that it’s over now, we’re not gonna touch the drawing anymore, time to move on.

I always get the most angry and frustrated at this part when I try to get everything to look good. Like, I don’t mind if it doesn’t look exactly like the photo, as long as the people in the drawing are recognizable. But the longer I stare at my drawing, the less I recognize anyone from them anymore. I think my partial face blindness really steps out when I see a face for so long I stop... seeing it. Like, I see details but I can’t connect the details to a big picture any longer.

This whole “I can’t see” thing is my biggest flaw in arts. When I say that I can’t see, I really mean it. It’s not that I’m blind or even partially blind, it’s more like I mentally can’t see? It’s not aphantasia, I think I actually have the opposite aka hyperphantasia, but it just feels like my eyes are not connected to my brain correctly. The information that comes in gets partially lost on its way to my brain and my hand only gets half of that information it needs and it can only draw from what I can SEE instead if what is actually there TO BE SEEN.

That’s why I can’t do perfect drawings and that’s why it makes me sad that the comics, that are perfect or almost perfect in my eyes, because I can see them fully in my mind and draw from there what I see; are not appreciated anywhere. Be it fanart or self-comics but especially self-comics are not appreciated here at all. Those might be simple but I like doing them that way. There’s a reason for them to be so simple: my old perfectionism. I needed to invent something very simple to draw so that I don’t need to drive myself crazy with all unnecessary details in everything that eventually always led to me abandoning a comic because it was just way too much work for me to do every time and I was worn out. By my own comics.

Anyway, I try to find that energy and motivation for the current WIP at some point so that I can finally start with the next project sooner or later. Preferably sooner because I really am looking forward to that and can’t wait to get to work on that one! But it might be a good decision to do some or at least one of the comics first. It’s always a bit different process and much more free and easier to make “perfect”, but at the same also challenging and super fascinating learning process.

[serendipitous-magic]

What do you do in your spare time when you’ re not writing

Uuuhhh let’s see. (Whenever anyone asks me a question like this I forget literally everything about myself. Like, someone can be like “What’s your favorite food?” and I’m like “I don’t know suddenly. I don’t think I exist actually. I’ve never eaten a food ever.”)

So in no particular order...

-I’m trying to read more (I really got out of the habit during college because I had so much textbook reading to do that it a) took up all my reading time and b) actually kind of turned me off reading books, which is sad)

-I listen to music constantly (like, constantly - if I’m conscious I have earbuds in)

-Daydream (again: constantly)

-Journal

-Occasionally write poetry

-I’m studying filmmaking (independently, for the moment - once I go to grad school I’ll study “for real”) which means a lot of watching (and taking notes on) behind the scenes and Making Of... stuff, director and cast commentary, MasterClasses, youtube tutorials on cameras and framing and stuff, etc. Plus sketching out storyboards of scenes frame-by-frame to study how they’re composed; taking notes on the structure of how a show/movie is written (plants and payoffs, embedded exposition, groundwork and worldbuilding, scene transitions, dialogue, pacing, etc.). And reading books on the subject. (I have all the Insufferable First Year Film Student Basics, like Save the Cat! and Directing Actors.)

-Speaking of, I do some filmmaking projects, like the short film that we were supposed to film in March but then COVID happened (but actually that turned out great for the project because a 6-month preproduction period means that project is gonna be SO MUCH BETTER than it ever would have been if we filmed earlier)

-Make Pinterest boards

-I’ve been learning guitar for a couple years and I used to practice every day and I really should get back into that habbit

-Sometimes I paint or make art 

-I was gonna try to do yoga or run every day during the pandemic (I used to jog, kind of) but uuuhhhh that hasn’t been happening

-I spend an inordinate amount of time making Escape Plans (i.e. obsessively scanning neighborhoods on Zillow, researching cost of living in various cities, taking Google Maps tours of cities and falling in love with them and being sad about it, researching grad school programs and prices, deciding what I’ll have in my room in my shared apartment with 6 roommates, calculating how much money I’ll need to save up before I can move, drawing out budget after budget after budget after budget trying to see how I could possibly afford rent while attending school, crying over Chicago and NYC and LA some more, etc. etc.)

-I own a longboard which, for about two years, I’ve sworn I’m going to learn to ride “next month”

-I try to watch “must watch” movies when I can (I have a looooooong list I’m chipping away at) but it’s slow going, because a lot of the time I’m like “but what if instead I watched Buzzfeed Unsolved, or perhaps this shitty but heartfelt horror movie”

-Before the world ended, I used to hike. But I don’t trust people to wear masks because people in my state (coughcountrycough) are stupid AF and I don’t want to get put on a ventilator because some dumb fuck decided it was totally cool to go hiking and cough into the wind five feet in front of me

-I buy books and then don’t read them

-I absolutely fucking love going on trips and I wish I had the money and time to do it more often

-Sometimes I see people in the same room as me and we talk to each other. Apparently it’s called “socializing”? IDK I’m a recluse, I don’t understand these things.

-Oh, yeah I guess I have a job. That counts as something I do, I suppose.

-_-_-_-

So, yup. Lots of creative stuff that involves Sitting At A Desk, which would explain why I’m pretty Thicc this year lol

[clevercatchphrase]

2019 year in review

So… The 2010’s are almost over. Huh. What a decade it’s been. Hard to comprehend how much has changed in 10 years. I can barely believe that I was in high school at the beginning of this decade, and now I’m a college graduate with 2 degrees who’s been working at the same job for the last 3 years. But trying to summarize the past 10 years in a single post is a good way to give myself an existential crisis, so let’s not do that! Instead, let’s just focus on 2019 because there has been more than enough shit that’s happened to me in this year to talk about.

PART 1 OF 2: 2019 AND 2020 GOALS AND RESOLUTIONS

Huh, looking back through my archives, I apparently didn’t make a tumblr post about my goals this year. I definitely had some, though. Lemme list ‘em off real quick, and then we’ll go through them point by point.

1)      Pay off all my student loans 2)      Finish some song comics 3)      Make art for my Redbubble account 4)      Finish the first rough draft/script of a game I wanted to make 5)      Practice ASL 6)      Sew some stuffed animals 7)      Finish some fan fictions 8)      Work on Ghost Switch 9)      AMVs 10)   Do some original writing 11)   Make illustrations for my fan fictions

Okay, first off, the student loans. I was actually SO CLOSE to successfully completing this one bUT THEN MY CAR HAD TO BE A WHINEY PISS BABY AND HAVE ITS ALTERNATOR DIE ON ME WHILE I WAS ON THE HIGHWAY AND THEN A BLOW OUT THREE WEEKS LATER.

GOD, if I had to summarize this year in two words, for me it would be “Car troubles”. I swear I spent more on auto repair in the first third of this year than I ever have just freakin’ OWNING a car. All four of my tires had to be replaced, my alternator failed and my car literally just SHUT OFF while I was driving, and I was barely able to coast into a gas station. Both my front breaks and rear breaks were worn down the metal and I only learned this when my car was barely able to stop after I had to slam the petal down full force!  I went in for an oil change, and they found some problems and then I didn’t get my car back for three days! I don’t even like owning a car! I hate driving! I hate my country’s refusal to provide universal, free public transportation! I NEVER ASKED FOR THIS!

Oh-kay… number 2. Finish some song comics. I didn’t finish any. But that doesn’t mean I didn’t work on them. I have made tiny progress, but that’s certainly better than no progress. One of these song comics I hope to be realizes is going to be a collab with one of my friends. It’ll be a long-time coming as it’s pretty low priority for the both of us, but if anyone else out there was disappointed with KH3’s ending, we’re gonna have ya’ covered… With SONG!

3. Make some redbubble art. I actually did this one! Not in the way I expected, but I added (technically) 3 new designs to my redbubble in the middle of the year. If you like butterflies and dragons, I got some product for you~!

Number 4, finish a script for a game I want to make. I… thought about this. I thought about this a lot, but I never put pen to paper, so… oops. It almost happened! I debated making this my main writing project for NaNoWriMo this year, but ended up having more inspiration for another story. Maybe next year? (god, I hope not. I don’t want to wait a full year just to write something)

Number 5, practice ASL. I just straight up didn’t do this and I only have myself to blame. Still keepin’ up that Danish Duolingo streak, though. 4 years going strong and not a day missed yet.

Number 6, sew some stuffed animals. Again, another one I just straight up didn’t do, but I have an excuse of trying to save money while my car crashed and burned in every other sense except literal this year. Hopefully 2020 will be different. I’ll definitely be able to pay off this last loan within the first half of 2020, and then I can start saving for whatever I want to buy.

Finish some fan fictions was number 7, and I did this! Well, I only finished, 1, but it was a story I’ve been working on for over 3 years, and it came out to over 200 THOUSAND words long, which is the longest thing I’ve ever written, and I’m quite proud of myself. Now that the big story is out of the way, and I’ve gotten into a good rhythm of working on Ghost Switch, maybe I can squeeze in some short writing sessions more frequently. (either that, or just wait for my car to break down again and then go on a writing spree in a pepboys. The lord and the fan fic discord know that’s solely why I finished my other fic this year)

Speaking of Ghost Switch, working on it was a goal this year too, and I did that! I kept it up all year and took a vacation in November and it was wonderful. While the major plot points have been in place since before I started drawing, I still need to script each arc beyond Snowdin, but hey, by the time we get there, it’ll be 2022 so I got time. (Note, don’t do this, kids. Script your stories and comics thoroughly before publishing. The road I’m on is paved with misery and pain and it will only end in tears unless I change lanes soon)

Number 9, amvs. Do people make AMVs anymore? Idk… the last one I made was... Jesus, 5 years ago? (it was a gravity falls/fall out boy crossover, if you were curious) I’ve been wanting to do 2 more for just as long, but in order for me to do that, I’d have to spend time re-watching the shows to find the footage, and then actually edit them together, and I just don’t…. feel like it. Maybe someday, but not any day soon.

10; do some original writing. I did this! For nanowrimo! I wrote the first draft of some original fiction I’ve been planning for a year or two now and it completely sucks! But it’s on paper now and I’m happy. Will I revise and edit it? Sure, but not for a while. I want to let it sit and forget about it and look at it with new eyes months from now so I can be sure I can make it better when time comes to rewrite.

11, make illustrations for my fan fics. Now that You Monster is done, I want to go back and add pictures to it. I didn’t do any this year, but I did keep a list of scenes I wanted to draw, so I have plenty of ideas to do as warm up sketches next year~ I kinda want to stream them~

So, that was 11 goals, and I successfully fulfilled 4 of them! That’s! Not a very good ratio… QmQ So, goals for 2020. Some I’m gonna keep from this year, some I’m gonna drop and some I’m gonna add. In short I would like to,

1)      Finish paying off that last student loan 2)      Put more stuff on my redbubble 3)      Illustrate my own fan fics 4)      Sew at least one stuffed animal 5)      Make an enamel pin 6)      Read one new book a month 7)      Write one page a day/Complete at least one new fan fic 8)      Learn Python or C# for the game I want to make 9)      Finish fully scripting Ghost Switch 10)   Boost my patreon

Most of these I think are pretty self-explanitory, but I’ll go into detail just a bit because I’m on a roll and typing my thoughts helps me feel less alone in the middle of the night when you’re super tired and you know you should probably go to sleep, but the toddler in you is throwing a tantrum and doesn’t wanna go to sleep just yet, but you can’t fight the progression of time either way.

Number 1- I should be able to reach this goal by the end of March. End of June at the absolute latest. Once that goal is met, my secret new year’s resolution will be unlocked as well!

Number 2- I want to put more art of my OCs on redbubble. These OCs are tied to the game I want to make. There’s already some art of them up there, but I want at least one piece for each character.

Number 3- Mostly for You Monster. Embrace the cardinal rule of fan fic and apply it to fan art. If you want to read about see art about certain ideas, scenarios, or what-ifs, you gotta make it yourself.

Number 4- I have 3 potential ideas to sew. One is definitely leagues easier than the other two and will probably be chosen if/when I have the time and materials.

Number 5- This year I got really, REALLY into the idea of making enamel pins. Unfortunately it’s a pretty big investment (like, $350 to make 100 pins you  might not even sell). If this happens, it’ll probably be towards the end of the year, and if I get enough interest. I’m currently torn between making an original enamel pin and one based off Undertale. We’ll just have to see where this goes.

Number 6- Back in 2018 when I paid off one of my many student loans, I rewarded myself by spending over 200 dollars in used books. All these books had a theme; they were focused on dragons because I have a problem. I have not yet read a single one of these books I have bought, and I would like to fix that. I have, like, 20 unread dragon books, and even if I only read 12 out of 20, I would consider that an amazing accomplishment and money well spent.

Number 7- I currently have about 8 different WIPs I could work on. (well, I don’t know if I can even call them wips. More like, a general idea and a title written down.) I want to build good writing habits, and if I can write just 200 words a day, hell, even 200 words a week and just one of my 8 stories done, I would consider this goal met.

Number 8- I’m torn between making my game in unity or ren’py. I know jack shit about both. Ren’py is more user friendly, but unity will allow me more customization. (Lol, can you guess what kind of game I want to make yet?)

Number  9- I really just want the full story to be done and written incase anything goes horribly terribly wrong in my life and I find myself unable to continue making ghost switch in comic form. Then at least I can finish the story by other means, you know?

Number 10- It always surprises me every month when I get that patreon email saying I got paid. Sure, I don’t even make double digits on it, but it still awes me enough to know that people out there like my work enough to throw me a tip. I can’t thank my patrons enough for supporting me and I hope to one day be in such a good place I can update my comic/song comics/writing frequently enough without need for goals or milestones. But until that magical day arrives, money is always a great incentive for anything, I suppose. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

 ALRIGHT. PART 2 OF 2: SHIT THAT HAPPENED TO ME IN 2019

Cheesus crust what a year. This year started off great! Back in late January Kingdom Hearts 3 FINALLY released, and let me tell you a little story. Back in the summer of 2006 I was a 13 year old middle schooler with no way of making money other than by doing house hold chores at a rate of 25 cents a task. A few weeks ago, I had a sleep over at a friend’s house and they let me play this weird game called “Kingdom Hearts” and god, I was instantly hooked on it. That summer, I did over 800 chores, enough to earn myself 200$ and buy myself a playstation 2 (just in time for the ps3 to come out, gg me) The only games I had for the ps2 were KH1, 2, Re:CoM and Okami, and I beat them all… except Okami. Miffed that the PS3 wouldn’t allow for backwards compatibility, little 13-year-old me made a promise. I looked myself in the mirror and said “I will not buy the next playstation console until KH3 comes out, AND BOY that was probably a good choice for me to make with my level of gaming. I’m even less of a casual gamer than the average casual gamer, but I have been waiting 13 years for this piece of closure, and I even told my friends and family that “the day Kingdom Hearts 3 comes out is the day I will buy a playstation 4”. My dad apparently thought this was the funniest shit, because he literally took the day off from work that Friday to drive me on base to get the game and console (he thought it would be less crowded than a regular walmart, I suppose). I paid $400 on a ps4 pro while he bought me the game. Again, I have an impecible sense of timing seeing as the PS5 is now right on the horrizion, but just like before, I’m not buying a new console until the next KH game is released. See you in 2045, sony~. While I was at the gamestop on base, I also picked up Okami HD and The Last Guardian. For all of February and even early March, I took my time playing through KH3. And…! It was the best disappointment I’ve ever played. After a month away from gaming, I started The Last Guardian and finished it in a couple weeks. I love trico and would die for him, but trying to get 100% completion on that game is udder insanity. Okami, HD, however… again after a month break after finishing TLG, I started replaying Okami. I think I had only managed to get about halfway through the game before I just… stopped playing it on my ps2 version. I am currently SO CLOSE to getting a 100% on the ps4 version. In fact, I’ve beaten the game. I only (techinically) need 2 more trophies to be done; 1st, escape the water dragon without being eaten, 2nd, I need to beat that dumb stupid race with Kai, in order to get the last bead on my rosary, as well as the top dog trophy. I hate her so much. I hate this race so much. It’s awful and bad.

Flash forward to December! Earlier this month I was at Barnes and Noble, buying myself a planner for 2020. I exit the store and notice that there’s a gamestop across the street. For shits and giggles I go inside to look at their game selection, and I find KH 1.5 and 2.5. Now, my PS2 died a few years back (it just won’t read my discs anymore, I don’t know why) and I haven’t been able to replay any of my other kingdom hearts games since. If you had seen me the day I finished kingdom hearts 3, after the ending credits rolled, you would have heard me say “Man…. I wish I could play kingdom hearts 2 again”. AND NOW I CAN, ALONG WITH BBS which I had never even played yet, but knew the story of. I’ve restarted playing kh1, and I was so happy to hear that familiar music when I booted the game up for the first time. While at the game stop, I also picked up Rime and Tearaway, two games that had looked interesting to me. At the time of writing, I’ve finished Rime and am 25% done with tearaway. Rime was…. An interesting experience. I learned about it through Jacksepticeye’s channel a couple years back and thought the art style was enticing. For a super casual gamer like me, I found the puzzles just the right level of challenging and exploring was a blast! The music gave me VERY strong Princes Mononoke vibes, but the overall story left something to be desired. Overall I had fun, and enjoyed completing this game to 100%. Now for tearaway. Can I just say this game is super fucking adorable? I know the original was on the ps vita and the gameplay there was arguably more diverse and imaginative, but this game is just so fucking cute I don’t care?? ALSO, this game’s sound track is ABSOLUTELY incredible and I’ve only heard the first fourth of it! Listen to The Orchards, Pig Riding, and Gibbet Hill Pilgrimage for a taste of their wonderful beats and fantastic use of string and woodwinds! God, I’m so excited to get some more games in 2020. I’m proud to say I currently own more ps4 games than I ever did with my ps2 (and now the majority AREN’T Kingdom Hearts titles!), and I’m still hoping to play Journey, The Witness, and Abzu before everything becomes ps5.

What else happened to me this year. Oh, I went to a doctor for, like, the first time in seven years. I also had my blood drawn for the first time ever, and the nurse said the most disturbing thing to me while she did it. Now, whenever I get shots, I refuse to look. I did that here. So she thought it would be appropriate to say to me “Can you feel your blood leaving your body?” Lady… You can clearly see I am uncomfortable with what is happening here. Why, of all the things you could say, did you choose to say that. Unfortunately, while my doctor is nice, she keeps wanting to run tests on me, that I just cannot afford with my current salary, and my monthly insurance is about to go up to 200$ a month, so I’ve cancelled my next appointment with them, and don’t plan to go back until it’s absolutely necessary. Capitalism is fun, guys. Preventative healthcare is for wusses.

I started going to a chiropractor on a monthly basis. Story time- I don’t know when it started, but sometime late last November I began to notice that I had a headache that just... wasn’t... going away? And each day it was starting to get a little worse. It made it hard for me to find a comfortable position to sleep, it made it hard for me to be in bright areas or move fast. So I said to myself “Okay, if this headache persist through the month of december, then something is proooobably wrong and I should go see someone about it. And hoo-boy were thing wrong with me. By the time this January rolled around, I couldn’t even stay on my feet for more than a few hours without it physically hurting to just BREATHE. So I started going to this chain called The Joint (A+ name, I know). THey aksed me “How are you doing?” I said “I’m in pain” and they said “We can help fix that!”. I’ve only been to a chiropractor once before in my life a few years back after my freshmen year of college because I began to notice my hips weren’t able to support me? LIke, I would lie on my back, and I couldn’t push my hips up when my feet were flat on the floor. I also couldn’t climb anything steep, because my legs just couldn’t push me up if my knee had to bend more than 90 degrees when I lifted my leg up. (Turned out both my hips were apparently out of place). This time only one of my hips were out of place (which they fixed. they said one of my legs was an inch “longer” than the other because I had been leaning all my weight on one leg when I stand). But two of my ribs were apparently “Stuck” which was why it was hurting for me to just breathe, and one of my shoulders was missaligned too, causing one of my trap muscles to constantly be streched, which was pulling on my skull, and causing the headache. Anyway, after they popped all my bones back into place, I still felt terrible, but by god, that night was the first time in weeks I was able to sleep without a migrane. A chiropractor can’t magically heal your arthritis, or fibro, but I definately think they have merit to keeping your posture good and helping your body with things like circulation. 10 outa 10, would recomend. It’s all the fun of getting your neck snapped without the dying!

Earlier this month I got together with two of my friends and we baked Christmas cookies. It was a lot of fun, as well as a great learning experience. A member of my family has a gluten allergy, so we used rice flour for most of the cookies. We learned this is a bad idea! The cookies will just fall apart! A few member’s in one of the friend’s family have nut allergies. Other friend and I knew this and were careful to avoid cookie recipes with nuts, bUT THEN COMPLETELY FORGOT THAT ALMOND MILK AND ALMOND EXTRACT COUNT AS NUT. IN FACT, ALMOND EXTRACT IS PURE CONCENTRATED NUT JUICE AND WE FELT SO BAD FOR ALMOST ACCIDENTALLY POISONING THE FAMILY.

Earlier this year me and these same friends took a field trip to Hobby Lobby and just dicked around the store for a couple of hours. It was super fun, 11 outa 10, would recommend, a great date idea for your artsy S.O.

Back in May I went to a wedding for the first time in my life. (well, not true, but the first one I could remember) we left at 5am, drove 5 hours to get there, hung out at a zoo and spent the night in a la quinta before the wedding day. I slept on the bathroom floor because my mom was snoring too loud in the main room and keeping me awake, and the rest of the day was just spent me trying to keep myself together because I was pissed off and tired.

Other than all of that, nothing really major happened to me this year. I guess one more thing I’ve tried to do this year is started the process of breaking certain internet addictions so I can use my free time for more personal projects. Seriously, I found myself watching way too much youtube and following blogs that didn’t even make me happy. I had a personal intervention with myself where I sat down and asked myself, “why do you watch these videos and youtubers? Why do you follow these blogs? Do you really enjoy their content? Do you really care? If you stopped watching/following them, would you even notice?” After critically thinking it over, I’ve found myself unfollowing several channels and blogs and suddenly I feel so much happier. I thought I would miss it, but I realized I didn’t really care if I saw their content or not. I wasn’t missing much. And now I feel like I have more time to draw, read and write. If you think you spend too much time consuming and not enough time creating, I suggest you try and de-clutter your internet habits as well. It’s done wonders to un-fuck my headspace.

And… well, that about sums up my year. How are your holidays going? Anything fun, exciting, dramatic happen to you this year? I hope your new year is warm and safe! Good night, everybody!

[fanfic-scribbles]

Lunch Buddy: Chapter One

Masterlist

Next Chapter>>

Overall Story Facts:

Fandom: MCU Captain America/Avengers

Summary: Steve Rogers makes a friend. A prickly, generally people-averse friend, but they'll both take what they can get.

Quick Facts: Friendship (/Eventual Romance) – Steve Rogers & Reader (leading to Steve Rogers/Reader) – Female Reader

Story Warnings: Reader-insert that verges on OFC, written in 1st person past tense

Chapter One: Oblivious

Chapter Word Count: 2612

Tldr A/N: I don’t do tags (sorry!), this is a ‘slice of life’ I write when the mood strikes so updates will come when they come, this is set shortly after the first “Avengers” movie and any canon that pops up will likely be different so keep an open mind, Reader (or OFC, depending on your preference) is female/bisexual/plus-sized because it’s important to parts of the story but otherwise remains undefined.

(Long) A/N: This is weird(ish), but I'm posting it, because I've been writing bits and pieces for this thing for over a year now and I keep chickening out of posting it. So I'm doing it! First off, a few general warnings: this (to me) still counts as reader-insert since I haven't ascribed a detailed physical look or name to the POV character but I do know some extra things about her. Those being: female, bisexual, plus-sized, asocial. That's it for actual set details and I mention them because they will come up in the story. Also, this is written in first-person past tense. I'm sorry if any of that bugs anybody (I know some people are very 1st person averse) but it's just the way I wanted to write it. I can't honestly say it's self-insert but I can (and should) say it's pretty self-indulgent.

Secondly: this is a 'slice of life' type thing that I write bits and bobs for on occasion. Since I've been adding to it for over a year I have kind of a meandering story and a lot of little pieces that add up to something I enjoy. I'm just trying to finish this first arc so I'll just say for the time being it is Reader(or OFC) & Steve friendship but it's eventually going to be Steve/Reader (or OFC) and we'll see how it goes from there. I aim to update every other week but, again, this is the one thing I have that is for pure relaxing so we shall see. I will not be tagging for this fic. Sorry! I’m way too forgetful and this doesn’t have a planned schedule, so there’s no way I can trust myself to be an actual Adult and do something that responsible.

Thirdly: This is after the first Avengers movie but I have already altered parts of CA:TWS to fit in with what I'm doing. I'll explain it as I go, just keep an open mind.

Stupidly: I have a thing for Oblivious!Reader. It never fails to amuse me to think of different ways for a character to go 'wait, *that* guy?!' Idk why, but sorry not sorry.

  I had a routine.

I actually had several, but one of my most sacred involved my lunch break. After half a day of staring at papers and screens, I took an hour to fortify myself for another half day of staring at papers and screens. By…staring at paper and screens. But this was by my choice, at least, and done in a nice, airy café, with a good drink (and sometimes snack) nearby.

I’d been coming to the same shop for almost two years, ever since I got my job just a block or so over, and I rarely missed visiting it on a weekday. Even a fucking alien invasion didn’t chase me off for long– people still had to eat and businesses still had to run. As soon as the infrastructure was back to (mostly) functioning, I was back to doing what I did in every way.

I had noticed when some of the other regulars stopped coming around (I really hoped they had just decided to go somewhere else and that they hadn’t gotten caught up in that nightmare) and I also started to notice some new regulars. One of them was a jerk and I only noticed her as much as it took to avoid her. There were a few people who just came in to get drinks and left right away. Then there was one guy who ended up causing a bit of a stir.

I really only noticed him the first time because he was attractive enough to literally turn heads. Even some of the guys I had assumed were straight took a peek and whispered to themselves. And he wasn’t unaware– his cheeks flushed and he ducked his head and I was pretty sure three people fell in love with him on the spot.

It was funny, but aside from noticing he was attractive and was very nice to the cashiers, I went back to ignoring him. I only had so long in a lunch break and I wasn’t the type to introduce myself to strangers, no matter how cute they were.

So, we simply existed in the same general space at the same general time for a couple of months. He became a regular and also found ways to disguise himself– hats and glasses, and jackets with the lapels turned up. It was funny to me because it seemed like such a movie star thing to do, but even funnier was that, when he remembered to do it, it worked. He drew eyes from strangers less and less the more he figured out how to hide himself, and the other regulars got used to him being around. Just from basic interactions I knew his name was Steve, he tipped well, he was always very polite to the people working, and he liked to sit down with a sketchbook and a cup of coffee. That was about all the ‘interaction’ we had and it was fine.

Until one day.

My headphones were in and I didn’t notice him standing nearby until he leaned closer. I yanked out one of the earbuds and straightened up to see what it was he wanted. He went from concerned to contrite in what could have been a new record. “Oh I’m sorry; I didn’t see–”

“It’s okay,” I said and pulled out the other one so I could give him my full attention. “What do you need?” I surreptitiously checked myself to make sure he wasn’t coming over to tell me about an unfortunate wardrobe malfunction.

“I was just wondering…” He extended an arm to the (very full, I just realized) shop. “There’s nowhere else to sit and your table is so large, could I sit here? I promise I’ll be quiet.”

“It’s not like I’d hear you anyway,” I said and he smiled. I quickly pulled my bag off the chair next to him and pushed it out.

“Thank you,” he said, I nodded, and we went back to our solitary activities.

After that, though, if he ever saw me in the shop he would give me a friendly nod or say hi if I didn’t have any headphones in. I responded in kind, but we otherwise left each other alone. Except that busy periods hit and, given that one interaction, I seemed to be his go-to. We left each other alone and he seemed just as fine with that as I felt about it. It was nice– technically could it count as socializing? It sort of felt like it, but it was my favorite kind of socializing: respecting each others’ boundaries.

AKA: Leaving each other the fuck alone.

It was great.

Except he eventually started to get a little more friendly; subtly, and slowly. Like the day he asked for my name.

“I just feel like I should know who I’m apologizing to every time I take over your space,” he said.

“You’re a big guy, but you’re not that big,” I said. But I told him my name. Then, weirdly, he just…went back to his sketchbook.

I stared at him for a second. “Sorry,” I said. “I don’t really do this ‘meeting people’ thing that often, but don’t you normally give your name when someone else gives you theirs?”

He blinked and stared at me. “You don’t–” He stopped himself. “I didn’t tell you?”

“No,” I said. “I’d remember if you told me. And I’d remember if you told me and I forgot, because I would never, ever bring up your name or anyone else’s name ever again.”

He laughed, and looked startled by it. I was a little startled too, but he recovered pretty quick. “How do I know you’re not just covering for the fact that you forgot?” he teased.

“I am excellent at remembering when I should know someone’s name and deftly avoiding any chance at using it,” I said.

He chuckled, but he did say, “It’s Steve. Steve Rogers.”

I wrote ‘Steve’ in the front cover of my notebook, and expected to forget all about it.

~

I didn’t. Steve was friendly in an unobtrusive way. His greetings were warm and genuine and he was honestly pleasant to be around. I knew nothing of him but his name, that he liked to draw, and that people liked to gawk at him.

“Looks like you’ve made a friend,” one of the employees commented as she cleaned a nearby table.

“Uh…I guess so?” I pulled out a headphone just in case and sure enough, she stood and faced me and looked me up and down.

“How is he?” she asked.

I flinched, because seriously, what the fuck? “Um, he’s just some guy I sometimes share a table with. I don’t– I’m not– I don’t ever see him outside of here.”

“Oh I know; I didn’t mean it like that,” she said and grimaced. “And I didn’t mean that like– I just mean…is he nice?”

“Yeah. I wouldn’t sit anywhere near him if he wasn’t,” I said. “I have no patience for douchebags.”

She smiled. “Nobody should,” she agreed. “Just, a guy like him…you sort of hope he’s nice, you know?”

“I…guess,” I said. I didn’t really know what to say to that. “I’m definitely not into him, if that’s what you were worried about?” She stared at me blankly so I tried to figure out a non-awkward way to say ‘fucking go for it.’ “He’s a nice guy and you seem nice, so don’t worry about me, just ask him. Even if he’s not into you he’s the sort of guy who wouldn’t be a dick about it.”

“Oh. Oh, no!” She laughed and waved. “I have a boyfriend, so I’m not– no, but, uh, thanks.”

“Oh.” Then why was she so– well, maybe she just liked seeing a pretty guy like that also be a good guy. God only knew the world needed more men who weren't jerks. I didn’t get to find out though, because she got called away by her co-worker and I went back to my notebook and my headphones. Why was everyone suddenly so social?

~

“What are you listening to?”

I shrugged. “Just my library on shuffle; nothing really cohesive.”

He chuckled and went back to doing what he did. Today it was fitting in stealing bites of his two strawberry croissants while he sketched.

It was a little strange for me, but I was getting used to Steve asking questions out of the blue. He was a nice guy and I didn’t want to be a jerk, that was part of it, but he also seemed to know when it was okay to talk to me and how far he could go. If I ever really didn’t want human interaction he somehow clued into it and would sit quietly. If I was open to it, he kept the conversations light and just something we both did in the background. Several weeks into this strange lunchtime camaraderie I accepted that some days he was there, some days he wasn’t, but it was just a nice easy thing we both slipped in and out of as time went on.

I was realizing I never really asked a lot of questions though. I cleared my throat. “Do you work around here?” I asked.

“No,” he said, smiling at his drawing as he worked on it. “I work…well, I’m sort of ‘on call’ I guess you could say,” he said. “My schedule is really irregular. I like to come here just to get out of my apartment from time to time.”

“That sounds nice,” I said.

“And you?” he asked.

“Yeah, I work in the area,” I said. “I like to get away from my desk and out of the office for at least a little bit. So I come here and just relax for an hour before I finish out the day.”

“That sounds healthy,” he commented. Before I could figure out if he was being sarcastic, he snapped his head up and waved his hand. “I didn’t mean– shit; I’m sorry,” he said and put his pen down. “That sounded bad. I meant it sincerely though. I have a lot of friends who are…workaholics, I guess you’d say.”

“Yeah, I do my fair share of overtime, but I definitely prefer not to,” I said. I thought about asking him what he did, but then he’d probably ask what I did, and I didn’t want to talk about it. It was fine– paid the bills and that was always a good thing, I just hated watching people feel like they had to feign interest in my bullshit. So we settled back into silence. And it was good.

~

“Um…excuse me?”

I looked up and so did Steve. The kid was looking right at him though, and I went back to looking at my book. I did keep an ear open, though, because I was nosy. Steve asked the kid’s name and I heard nothing, but when I glanced, Steve was scribbling something on a piece of paper.

His name.

I squinted, because he was signing an autograph, really?

Suddenly the woman’s comments, about hoping that ‘a guy like him’ was nice, made a lot more sense. Also the ‘movie star disguise’ thing. Was he actually a movie star? He hung out here way too much for that to be true, but I was baffled. Steve went back to his sketchbook like nothing was wrong or weird and I tried to figure out how to Google a tall blond buff guy named ‘Steve’ while somehow not getting stuck with a bunch of porn. Ugh; what was his last name again…

“You know you can just ask me.”

I looked up from my fruitless search. He smiled patiently, but he looked…tired.

Well then.

“Where’s the fun in that?” I asked, but I didn’t have all day. When I looked at my phone again, I realized I barely had five minutes. “We’ll see how many lunch breaks it takes me to figure it out.”

He let out a surprised little laugh, and then he smiled for real. “How many do you think it’ll take?”

“Hmm.” I tapped my chin. “If it takes more than three, I’ll buy your coffee.”

“If it takes less, I’ll buy yours,” he said, we shook on it, and I packed up to leave.

“By the way– this one doesn’t count,” I said and skipped out to his protests.

~

There were a lot of blond buff guys who did porn.

So I maybe got a little distracted.

“Jesus.”

I leaned my head back and shut off the screen at the same time. “You’re blond and your name is Steve; I don’t have a whole lot to go on. Also, he had most of his clothes on.”

“He wasn’t going to,” Steve chuckled and sat back in his seat. “Should I try a latte? I also heard mochas were good.”

“If you really wanted to take advantage you’d go for the frozen drinks.”

He made a face like a five-year-old. It was so ridiculous I had to laugh. “I’m not sure about cold coffee,” he said.

“Ah, not even iced coffee?” I waved my sadly-not-iced drink around and took a long sip. “You’re missing out.”

“I’ll just take your word for it.” He glanced at the menu, and then back at me. “Next time then?”

I stared him down. “This is only lunch break number one.”

“Two.”

“One.”

He was grinning and I stuck my tongue out at him. “I’m gonna add ‘stubborn brat’ to my search parameters,” I said. And I did. He laughed at me.

~

There was only so much internet searching I could do before I got a little bored.

“Do you want to just give up now?”

“Never,” I said and swiped at my game. “I just need a little downtime. This is my lunch break after all; I’d rather have fun and relax before getting back to work.” I cleared the stage and looked up at him. “I’ll figure it out next time.”

“You are so strange,” he said, somehow sounding like he was laughing without actually laughing.

Search: “steve” “blond” “famous” “-porn” “douchebag”

“Hey.”

~

I didn’t get the full lunch break to try to figure it out one last time.

“Oh my god is that Captain America?”

I perked up and saw a flabbergasted gaggle of teenagers looking right at…Steve.

Steve.

Steve…

Steve Rogers.

Oh.

Holy shit.

He kept at his sketchbook, as he usually did, and I sat there and digested that information. The teenagers were too shy to approach (and as friendly as Steve was whenever people did come up to him, he never really encouraged that behavior) and so I got to sit quietly and take that in.

“Well?” he asked and looked up. At me. Like he was awaiting my judgment or something.

“Uhhh…” Whatever I thought I was going to say fled my brain and I was left with nothing. I scrambled for something. “Um…thank you for your service?” I said, eventually. He blinked and I let out a sigh. Why did I ever open my mouth nothing good ever happened. “Help me out, what do people normally say?”

He stared for a second longer and then he laughed. And laughed. And laughed. Once he settled down his eyes were bright with humor and it didn’t feel like he was being mean. It took me a little bit to realize he sounded relieved. And, like that, I felt a little more relaxed. Enough to go completely deadpan when I said, “Wow. So ungrateful.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.” He grinned like a total jerk. “Thanks.”

Yep, total jerk.

No wonder we got along.

Next Chapter>>

[moldy-mold]

Diary Post: My Thoughts and Processes on Making “Silent Strength” It’s lengthy, taking place over long period of time. Mainly written for my future-self to remember what I went through, but also for anyone who is curious. Now that the project is over, I can post without reservations. There are certain things I need to keep secret though, so if I’m vague I do so intentionally!

Basically, a lot of number-crunching, physical labor, and psychological labor.

It started off as kind of a joke tweet I made. I had enough content to make a Tales Of art book and people were receptive to it. So… I thought maybe I could go somewhere with this. A few weeks later, I suddenly had a lot of Kratos art. Like. 80% of all my Tales art was Kratos. It didn’t make sense to make a broad Tales Of book when really most of it was Kratos.

I hadn’t made a book since I was in college despite it being one of my favorite things to do. They were never art books, just some editorial design projects that totally didn’t count. This book… would be my first-ever art book.

Several times, I came close to having enough art to print a book - the last time was my large collection of Yusuke Kitagawa, but the quality wasn’t where I wanted.  At that time, I was still experimenting with my iPad Pro and figuring out Procreate, so that was what I used him for.

NGL, I was pretty afraid of looking like a clown. After doing all this work, what if no one actually buys it? I was talking to some friends and they said they would buy it. It was enough for me. In the end, I’m creating something that I love. - The first thing I really wanted to work on was the cover. It needed to be epic but also mysterious (lol)… It was a good time to practice lighting and backgrounds. The cover had to be freaking Fantastic. I spent 3 days drawing nonstop. I was on vacation so I could spend full days just drawing. It was really intense. I would stop in the evenings to go for a run or else my legs would never get circulation again.

The hardest part was keeping it secret. I wanted to share it with the world right away bc I was so proud of it. Well, all I could do was show it to my parents and some close friends. They didn’t know who Kratos is, but it was obvious I was crazy about him.

Initially, I was doing some hand-lettering for the zine title instead of using a typeface. Tbh, I was so sure I was naming this zine “Blame Your Fate!” bc that is such an iconic line. But it just didn’t work with my cover, which looked… a little too serene for that. So… Silent Strength or Divine Strength? I asked around and got my answer.

But what size? All of my art has been on letter canvases. I wanted it to be large so you could see the details in the art. I’ll just start with that. - Luckily, I had all my Kratos-related art in one place. I started my InDesign file and threw everything in there just to see what it looked like. Man, I draw a lot of boxes… But I didn’t want them all next to each other. I also wanted to kinda organize it by the people Kratos hangs out with. There’s a Yuan section LOL… and a Lloyd section… and an Anna section. Idk, I tried to get some kind of order in there with a sprinkling of full spreads here and there to keep it fresh and interesting for the eyes.

I hadn’t worked with InDesign on such an intense level since college. I forgot all of the tips and tricks we learned in class. Spent some time reading on how to do things again… like adding page numbers. - I started drafting my pre-order form. It’s my first time making a google form like this. It’s kind of fun? I spent a long time on it, despite how simple it was. This was going to be my “Store” so it had to look and sound good. - My friend introduced me to charm-making. It seemed easy enough, and I wanted to give my zine more oomph. Besides, I’ve always wanted to make a charm.

I remember someone saying they’d buy a book of just the 4 Seraphim if it existed. I like them too and they lack art imo. In the end, I decided to do a polaroid charm. It’s not really that unique but I wanted Kratos to have actual friends to hang out with for once LOL.

She was going to do a group order to try to reduce the costs. I thought maybe 4 weeks would give me enough time. In the end she said I only have 2. I work well under pressure, so needless to say, I did make that deadline. I actually sketched the whole thing on the plane headed home. - After playing the game the second time, watching the OVA again, and reading “Offerings to a Star,” I have gained a real soft spot for Yuan.  My friend once said, “If you weren’t stolen away by Kratos, you would be in love with Yuan.” Lol. I’ve been in a “Kratos and Yuan hanging out” mood lately, so of course I needed something good for the zine. They’re so cute together! Now… what is the bro-est thing I can draw?

I was currently in Florida for my friend’s wedding. I was friends with the groom and his best man since high school, so that makes it 10 years now. Seeing how they’re still friends after all this time, despite living in opposite sides of the country, was really moving to me. Of course, me being me, I could see Kratos and Yuan’s long friendship being similar to this, if they had gone to school together. I just had to draw it. - When I got back from vacation, I did some research on zine sizes. Mine was HUGE compared to others. I just didn’t quite realize it until I held a magazine in my hands. It really is huge…

I settled for a medium size. 7x9. I really liked how it looked. Petite but not too petite. Unfortunately resizing my book had messed up my artwork placement so I spent hours rearranging all the text and resizing my images. I found out afterwards that there’s a way to retain the format while changing the document size. Gee, that would have been helpful 4 hours ago.

Sadly, choosing a custom size booklet makes printing more expensive. But I wanted it badly enough that I’d be willing to pay for it. Letter size is just too large… - I decided to stop dragging my feet and post a promo. I just really needed a deadline for myself to get this all done before July ended. I’m happy it was well-received. A lot of people like Kratos huh…

Anyway, the pre-order is due in a week and I still don’t know what all the costs are yet. I need a physical proof ASAP to weigh at the post office! - Something possessed me one day to do another drawing. I don’t usually do painterly style (mainly because it’s really difficult and takes 10x longer) but I just REALLY wanted to push myself on this Final Piece to the zine. I wanted it to be… radiant. Almost religious. I worked on it obsessively. From breakfast to sundown. The only time I would stop was at 7pm to go running or else my legs would give out on me.

Call me crazy, but I would save my progress on my phone so I could examine it for errors during my warmup. I also spend an hour examining it for errors before going to bed. It’s a miracle I hadn’t dreamt of the painting. - I sent my files in on Sunday in hopes that they start working on it first thing on Monday…. and it HAPPENED! They finished before I even woke up. I think they start work at like 6am…

Of course, I drove over there as soon as I heard so I can get a look. “Please… please let the colors be okay,” I prayed as I was driving. I barely remember driving there, I was so lost in thought. It would be another long ordeal if I had to fix all the colors.

Thank the stars. The press proof looked BEAUTIFUL!! I was screaming to the client coordinator how much I loved it. I mean, I worried for a looooong time that everything would turn out too dark (it usually does) but it was PERFECT. I was especially worried about the cover, which contained a lot of yellow and I def did not want it to come out mustardy… But it was great in the end!

The press operator is a quiet man. He’s got a scary face and never smiles but I think he’s secretly nice. He has done a lot of favors for me in the past without my asking. He was the one to print, bind, and trim the book for me. Obviously he had to have seen what I was drawing. I wonder what he thought of it…? He walked away before I could express how happy and thankful was. He didn’t need to hear it. It was like he already knew. So cool…

I immediately took it to the post office to weigh it. I needed as much info as I could get and plus, I was dying to know for myself. This is the week I was supposed to open pre-orders and there was still a lot I needed to do. Take pictures, create mockups, pricing, etc.

NGL, all of these costs were building up fast. It was so darn expensive to make a zine while also keeping prices down. But I wanted so much more for my baby. Extra glossy cover, perfect binding!! I knew by the end of this, I probably wouldn’t make much money. It hurt a little, but I tried to think that it was for the greater good. Learning experience and all that. And creating something beautiful. Especially something beautiful of Kratos. - Pricing was really the hardest part. I pretty much threw profit out the window. However, I definitely did not want to be losing money. My dad and I had worked together to create a spreadsheet of expenses to make sure my head was above water. I followed it… loosely.

My friend came to talk to me at the right moment. I was sort of panicking at the prices. She made me realize I was thinking way too hard about it and gave me some tips based on her own experience. It really put my mind at ease talking to someone who understands my woes.

The truth of the matter is, the book is wonderfully made and has a lot of pages - countless hours of drawing. There is only so much I can do about pricing. It is what it is… I just needed to come to terms with my own worth. - Boy, what am I going to do once the zine is done? My friend says that I’ll be so over Kratos that I’ll stop drawing him (but the love remains). It’s like… all of the intense planning, working, struggling nonstop will just suddenly… stop. TBH, I’m running out of ideas. I spent it all on the zine. - Photoshoot today. I had to paint my nails purple for this occasion. Unfortunately, I couldn’t get the look I wanted in the apartment. It’s just so naked without props. I think I’ll take it to a cafe for some nicer backgrounds. I talked it over with my friend and decided to do a quick flip-through of the zine as a promotional video. I used the most professional video program I had on hand… Snapchat. It actually turned out pretty legit and of course I slapped stickers on there because it’s Snapchat.

I had to tape/hide some of the pages for the video because I wasn’t actually done with the drawings. I had the printers print it anyway so I could examine it for color accuracy.

I’m really stressed about pricing now. It turns out I had a lot more international fans than I anticipated. I wish I took notes on interest earlier in the game to cater to them. I had a list of “possible buyers” and I only just now decided to check where they live? Foolish.

I did another cost analysis on paper to figure out what my goal was to make up for the charms. Right now they’ve cost me a fortune for something that was supposed to be giveaway. Other things that rack up are packaging costs, PayPal fees, and some other supplies I needed for this project.

Maybe I shouldn’t have made it 40 pages. It is an impressive number, but no one is really paying for quantity. I think 25 is a better number lol. If I had done that, I could have had my super-gloss cover like I wanted. :’(

There is hope though. And I’ve placed it in the hands of my followers to come through for me. I think I’ll open pre-orders on Saturday or Sunday, depending on what I finish. - “Losing your cool will only lead to poor decisions.” 
Thanks, Kratos twitter bot. You always know what to say.

I read this post today on what makes people buy zines. Very interesting!
 https://twitter.com/andythelemon_/status/1141469048653398019 - Photoshoot part 2 today. My friend and I went to a cafe nearby that had some nice atmosphere in hopes of finding the right shots. I brought all of my Kratos merch just in case. I’m glad I did though, since the tables were pretty sparse and it was difficult to capture the backgrounds without getting a bunch of random people in it too.

I would have been the photographer, but I definitely wanted my hands in the shots. In a way, it was meaningful - to show that this was made by my own two hands. Plus, I wanted to depict natural interaction with the product. It made it feel real.

The photos were cute! I feared it would look a little amateurish with all the merch in there, but I think fun was what I was really going for, not “professional.” And plus the flip-through was a Snap anyway LOL. As long as the photos have good lighting and tasteful composition, you really can’t go wrong with “fun.”

Now that I’ve finished editing my photos, there really isn’t anything holding me back from opening pre-orders. I’ve pretty much come to terms with my pricing. If I fail to break even, I’ll just have to open commissions to try to make up for it. I was telling my friend on the way home, “I gave this zine EVERYTHING I had to give. So at the very least, I won’t be disappointed in myself.” No stone left unturned, no detail left unchecked. It was perfect according to my standards. I really love my zine okay?!

I thought I was crazy for not only choosing a small fandom, I narrowed it down even further by picking ONE GUY to make this zine about. She replied, “Even if it’s small, those people who love him now must be EXTREMELY LOYAL to still be in love with a character from a 15-year-old game. All of them will want your zine.” - I went to bed that night with the intention of making the pre-order post live in the morning. I was so nervous I couldn’t sleep. I was wide awake until at least 5 or 6 am. Luckily, I was able to doze off for a an hour or two before I would shake myself awake again. It was a mixture of anxiety and excitement. It was the moment of truth - to see if all my effort made a difference. Was it going to sell? - The pre-order post looked really freaking good. I’ll give it that. I even made a YT account just to post that darn preview video on tumblr lol. It was definitely fun seeing everyone’s excitement and we all just freaked out together.

I broke even! That’s what really matters. Honestly at this point, I couldn’t care less if I made profit or not. I now know how much people really like the zine and that alone made me so happy I could die.

I was particularly fascinated at Google Form’s ability to transfer all the data collected into a spreadsheet. That is extremely helpful. I spent hours organizing the data. It was really fun…?! Now I can tell who gets invoiced and who paid and separate them into categories. IT’S FANTASTIC!

Stayed up late researching how much adding tracking could be. I had a slight panic attack thinking “what if my books got lost in transit?” It would really hurt me to have to reprint books and ship them again. And then I realized I will need to fill out customs forms for all international orders. Yikes, I’m gonna be living at the post office lol. You can print them out at home if you fill out the form online but there are still some things I’m uncertain about. I may visit the post office later this week to ask all my questions. - This morning I sent out everyone’s invoices. I gave the international people the option to purchase tracking. It’s expensive… but I need to provide that option just in case.

I received a nice message from someone who offered to advertise for me on Instagram. Of course, I gave them the OK! I’m really so shocked they would do that… They said the liked the zine so much it deserved more exposure. My dude… I love you… T_T

I thought about advertising on insta myself earlier in the week. For some reason I felt it was going to be fruitless since I don’t have an art account on there with a following. So, I gave up on the idea. Hey it worked out in the end.

I’ve never been so organized in my entire life. I want this zine experience to be perfect. The people have placed their trust in me, so I cannot mess up. - Edited some pages in the zine. The typography must be perfect… It made me think back to undergrad days in graphic design school. Man, if only I can present this as a project - photos, videos, matching accessories and all. I’d probably get an A lol. - Orders slow down after the first day. The rest is just about getting new people to see the post and giving other people more time to decide.

I finished my Kratos stationery today. It’s going to be so cute. My friend said people would want to buy it but I don’t have it in me to do more products at this time. Plus, I want it to be a surprise.

Why make stationery? Well my real job (no, I don’t draw Kratos all day for a living) is a stationery designer! It would feel really wrong not to put into practice what etiquette I’ve learned in this business. Plus, I felt that it was necessary to properly thank all those who ordered. And it’s fun?

I started designing the shipping labels for the domestic orders since I don’t need to fill out a customs form for those. I wish I had sticker labels but… it’s okay. It will still look good in the end. - Every so often, I would get nervous at the amount of money I’m responsible for. Perhaps, if I had a store with existing products I wouldn’t feel this way, but the fact that the books haven’t been printed yet made me scared. I know, I need this money to even print the books in the first place, but I’m just baffled at my customers’ trust in almost a total stranger. I felt pressured that I could not let them down and lose that trust. It probably didn’t help that I watched a documentary on Elizabeth Holmes (Theranos) that day.

So, I prayed every single day that nothing would go wrong. I’d check my spreadsheet constantly for any mistakes. It was a little obsessive, but I would rather be that than overlook something.

I began collecting cardboard boxes. My plan was to cut them up to protect the books during transit. I would have preferred hard envelopes but they were a bit pricey. If I have to do more work myself, so be it.

I’ve been getting nice DMs from some buyers. I think my invoice due date scared them… I really did not intend to be strict, but I wanted people to pay now if they can rather than forget about it. This happens at work all the time, so the best thing to do is have it due immediately. It would not look good to have to wait on stragglers when I close pre-orders, so I’ll probably reach out when there is one week left. - My Kratos stationery arrived! Aww it is SO CUTE!!! My babies… I have a lot of notes to write so I got started right away. It’s going to be a lot of work trying to come up with creative ways to say “thank you,” but I don’t mind. I said I was going to put my all into the zine experience so I will.

At long last, the charm order has been put in motion. My friend said it could take a while… I hope it won’t be longer than 3 weeks. I really do not want to keep everyone waiting. I may ship out the ones who did not win a charm first. I mean, there is no reason to make those guys wait. I should ask the charm winners if they still want to wait and see if anyone wants to give it up for someone else who is more patient. Hm. - I finally stopped by the post office today to collect customs forms. I have my work cut out for me since I’m filling all of them in by hand. D:

I’m not used to international addresses so I think I’ll ask for help in checking them for spelling errors and typos. Heaven forbid I mess up on the very last part of the zine experience.

In my nervousness, I decided to reach out about invoices early on. If someone wanted to cancel, I would rather find out sooner rather than later. Everyone was really nice about paying and thank goodness they’re still excited.

Feeling kind of overwhelmed by all the things I need to do, but it’s a good thing. If I don’t know what to do, I can either: cut cardboard, write letters, type shipping labels, draw more Kratos for a… possible volume 2? Someone I talked to today already said they’ll pre-order a second book if I make one. Omg I think I’ll die. But we’ll see. It’s just a joke right now haha… - Preorders end today. I had another nightmare last night that the books could not be printed properly and there was nothing I could do. Why do I keep getting nightmares about the zine! I had one a few days before about people canceling their orders when I asked them about the invoices. I’ll take these dreams with a grain of salt. I’m probably just stressed/worried but everything is going to be okay. When I open my eyes, nothing is on fire.

I received my final proof a few days ago. With all of the artwork completed and changes applied. The book looks good, no doubt about it. There was only one thing I was nit-picky about but it can be fixed. The press operator offered to print another book for me to inspect. I’ll go see it on Monday and then submit the rest of the orders. I also asked to to have a meeting with the press operator so we are on the same page. It would be beneficial to have an understanding of how my book is made so that I may be more helpful to him.

I spent the day preparing shipping labels. I hate to admit, I am not too familiar with the format international addresses so I had an address validator open as I was typing them in. For the most part, everyone was helpful in already formatting their addresses in the preorder form! - My parents called me the day after preorders were closed. They wanted to say congratulations on my success. No one thought it would do this well. I couldn’t be offended by that since I was also guilty of it. I’m happy though. It feels like my love spread across the world and was contagious.

I tried to think of what advice I would give to others. Obviously, genuine love for the subject and hard work were a necessity. But it would be good to consider value. If I were selling it at this price, I had to make sure my pieces and presentation looked the part. I ask myself, if someone else sold it, would I buy it?

I sent out messages to all the charm winners in the morning. I wanted to apologize profusely at the ridiculous amount of time it has taken to get them made. But no, I’ve got to stop apologizing. I stated the facts and left it at that. Everyone was really kind and patient⁠—to which I was thankful for. I don’t usually get that when I’m working customer service. - All the books were done printing in one day. Wow! I went to pick it up immediately of course. I can’t believe all of this is coming to an end. I finished preparing the mailers. All that was left was to stuff and seal the domestic orders. They were the easiest to do so I’m going to ship those first. The rest will need customs forms, which I haven’t filled out just yet. It’s going to be a while for those…

The mailers were quite sturdy with the cardboard cutouts I slipped in them. I have nothing to worry about. I’m sure my babies will be okay! - I took a whole box of domestic orders to the post office today. Wasn’t sure what to expect. But my clerk had to input every single address one at a time while I checked for errors. Omg, why are the post office shipping labels SO HUGE. I thought it was going to be half the size. And they’re ruining my designer labels! Slight panic but oh well…

I had a long long line behind me. I’m so sorry, people. Luckily there were two clerks or I would be really sweating. Despite my intimidating box of zines, the clerk and I had Synergy and we managed to ship all of these in about 15 minutes. I received a very long receipt and quite the bill lol. - Shipped the international orders today. I was kind of a mess since I had no idea what to do. I keep wondering if I can help speed up the process in any way but I don’t think I have the option to ship first-class at home.

When shipping international, keep the post office copy of the customs forms together with the package since they use that to type the address info into the system. Also, we get free tracking, which I did not know about. The other clerk told me that we did not get tracking for international first-class but I guess he was misinformed. It’s good to know for next time. - The charms finally arrived!! And THEY’RE HOLOGRAPHIC?! It was pretty awesome, but it makes picture-taking kind of difficult!! Anyway, I was a tiny bit disgruntled that they got my order incorrect, and I even asked for a reprint. But they said no, so I left it at that. Besides, it seems the holographic effect was well-received.

I like this size that I made. It’s really cute! Larger than your normal charm but not too huge. It’s almost like an Instax photo! - There was one customer who I found lives near me! I asked her if she wanted me to hand-deliver it to her in a public setting and she agreed (to my amazement). We finally met a few days ago and talked for hours and hours lol! I’m glad to have finally made a new friend here in this town but of course she’s moving away in two weeks. <:’3

We’re going to meet again to make the most of her time left. - I shipped the rest of the orders on the following Monday. I HAD to get these out. The poor guys have been waiting over a month! I think I picked a bad time to go because I had a huge line behind me and only one guy working. People in line were getting antsy or mad. The clerk at the other post office was super fast but not this guy…

For some reason shipping to the UK and Japan nearly doubled in price since the last time I checked. RIP. T_T - Omg I finally made a mistake. I wrote a letter to the wrong person. And the contents of that letter are too personalized!!! I am dying of embarrassment!!!!! Screams!! Had to apologize to both customers too!!! Luckily they were good sports about it but I’m seriously kicking myself AAAAAAAA!!!! - The most rewarding part after sending all my babies away is seeing the commentary on my project. It is so so nice to receive positive feedback. People are happy! Happy with something I created out of thin air. Everything was worth it 1000 times over. I can die happy!

I’m especially thankful to those who show understanding for how much effort went into it. It definitely wasn’t easy and I poured way too many hours into it… not that I regret that.

I don’t want to jump the gun but I would really love to make a volume 2. Because I know I can do better than last time. New and improved art and comics! But we’ll see if I make enough pieces for another book. I was against printing 40 pages before but now I kind of like it. It feels more worth it than a 25-page zine. If i’m going though so much effort, might as well bring in the entire package.

I’ll be printing more of this volume for Aselia Con 2020. Now I know people will appreciate it.

[komatsunana]

Chronicles of Exandria: The Legend of Vox Machina II

I did this for the first volume, so I bought this artbook right away just to do it again. <3 My Winter’s Crest gift to all the critters.

The art. Once again I cannot overstate the stunning artwork of the critter community. I know some fans balk at the price, but all the artists are paid to have their art in the book - and I think the big price tag is well worth artist getting some compensation for their work (do correct me if I’m wrong). I won’t be sharing any photos of of the art, but most of it is available online already.

However, I will share this photo of the print on the box the book came in:

Excerpt of the Foreward:

“The memories in this book are real. They were created with love and laughter around a table with friends, and let loose on the wind to find what ears would listen.  The joys and pains of every winding turn still occupy our minds daily and if you are reading this, I suspect they live on in yours as well.  We were there.  We witnessed it unfold.” 

Vox Machina was only able to scry on Scanlan once, as seen in the episode Jugs and Rods, but some time after Scanlan warded himself against arcane sight.

The Mantle of the Tempest is described as “eternal autumn leaves.”

Keyleth goes on to rule with wisdom and grace.

Usually the Cobalt Soul has problems researching historical figures for whom there is little written word about...... With Taryon they had the opposite problem: there was too much! lmao. And 90% of it is believed to be embellished or flat out lies.

Nicknames that Taryon gave himself and were never used by anyone ever: “The Winsome Winner of Wildemount,” “Talented Tary,” “Golden-Maned Guardian of Good,” and “The Vindicator.”

Uvenda, the gnome in Vesrah, is still alive!! She’s stepped down as leader now and is the tale-teller of Vesrah.

The Ashari call the kraken that VM fought for Keyleth’s Aremente “Ulugrah the Requisite.”

Uvenda claims that Ulugrah, upon learning that the creatures it had trounced were legendary heroes (I’m assuming they mean Vox Machina), it boasts about it’s victory against them to anyone who will listen any who come to its lair in the Plane of Water.

Tova went by different epithets including: “The Bear,” “Little Half-Ear,” “The Bloody-Handed,” and “The Skin Changer.” After surviving the Hells thanks to Vax’s ring of invisibility, she gained the name “The Unseen Death.”  Little else can be verified about Tova, but none of her friends she went to with Dis survived.

Grey Hunt Lore

Lord Wolf de Rolo and Lady Melanie van Musel de Rolo were the leaders of the 4th reign of Whitestone. It was a political marriage and Melanie was particularly unhappy. She had a garden filled with flora and fauna from her home in Wildemont. The garden is now known as the Widow’s Garden and many of the plants were poisons that she used to slowly assassinate Lord Wolf with.  

After being injured in the Great Whitestone Fire, he couldn’t recover because of the poison and he died leaving Melanie the ruler. She decided to redraw the lines of the city walls, pushing into the Parchwood Timberlands which didn’t go well. Construction was plagued by accidents, animal attacks, and phantoms were reported (such as of Lord Wolf) - though the construction of a Temple of the Dawnfather went unhindered.  

Lady Melanie’s cousin was Ivan van Musel, a cleric, and he declared that Melanie had pissed off the Dawnfather by expanding without showing reverence. Ivan went into the forest after much mediation and was later found battered but alive atop a felled Direwolf.  Ivan had a vision in which the Lawbearer agreed to the expansion no further than where Ivan had felled the Direwolf and that from here on, a citizen of Whitestone must venture into the Parchwood when called to do so and be tested. 

Melanie created the title Grand Master of the Grey Hunt, the third ruling house of Whitestone, for Ivan.  The third house has since forth been in change of the Grey Hunt and managing the city’s relationship with the world beyond the city walls.

Hundreds of gold in property damage during Vox Machina’s stay at Dalen’s Closet while VM “relentlessly pranked” each other.

Whitestone became a thriving metropolis during VM’s year off - in part because of Allura keeping it safe during Thordak’s reign while everywhere else was ravaged.

K’yrrn - the dark elf that kidnapped Taryon - is from Xhorhas!

Though Tary could be called a fool, a braggart, a coward... in the moment he stood against his father’s selfishness and bigotry and forgave and reconciled with him is described as being more valiant than slaying.

Lionel Gayheart had “an unusual case of amnesia.”

JB Trickfoot continued to work in Whitestone’s library and it’s thanks to many of her notes that the Cobalt Soul has as much as they do on Vox Machina.

“Uh, yes, the very first thing I remember about meeting Vox Machina was when the red-haired lady jumped off a mountain.  It was grisly.  But what I’ll remember forever is what happened afterward.  The coin that Lady Vex’ahlia used, the glow of light, the power.  It brought her back to life.  They really were like gods.”

Taryon’s autobiography’s dedication:  “This book is dedicated to Lawrence.  But it is for my family.”

Taryon thinks his father was actually proud of Tary’s Darrington Brigade.

Tary never liked his father, but after returning home Tary began to love him.

Mariya, Tary’s mom, was part of the Brigade and took care of the injured warriors.

Maryanne, Tary’s sister, became the driving force behind the Darrington Fund charity and even gave up her home for those less fortunate than herself.  When she called Tary “brother” it was no longer an insult.

Tary is most proud that his mother finally has a united family, one to be proud of.

Kaylie Shorthalt talks a bit about Lionel - says he was a goofy son of a bitch. He kept talking to her about ducks though.  He once tried to show her his house, but he just took her to an oasis in the middle of desert that was full of ducks.

The Cobalt Soul doesn’t like to spread rumors but they do have theories of Lionel’s Marquesian mallard heritage.

Aes Adan, aka the Meat Man, rise to power coincided with the disappearance of several low to mid level criminals.

A scholar once went to visit Scanlan to interview him to see if the rumors were true that Scanlan had been the Meat Man.  The Scribe returned, unable to remember anything from his visit.  In his notebook were only crude drawings of ducks.  Scanlan still using that Modify Memory...

The fucking Cobalt Soul knows that Scanlan sacrificed the 9th level spell he was saving for Vax to stop Vecna from leaving.  It’s history folks.

For the folks out there who love the Briarwoods’ love for each other, some of an excerpt of Delilah’s journal:  “No matter the cost, my love, I will do it.  I care not how many must die, or how grave the sins must be that I commit.  I broke the world once for you, Sylas.  I shall do it again, and again, and again, for you.  For us.  Forever.”

Vecna envied the Raven Queen, as her followers did so not just because they feared her, but because they loved and respected her too.

Vecna threatened the assembled protectors of Vasselheim, saying that it would be the perfect place for ambush, but that’s no fun when there are many less-protected loved ones.  People he threatened include Earthbreaker Groon’s daughter (Desir), Vord’s family, J’mon’s concubines, all of Whitestone and particularly Cassandra.  And Young Velora Vessar, “playing alone in her room.”

The Everlight: Redeemer of All

“Comprehension is the only true measure of dominion.”

Pelor, The Dawnfather: The Primordial Light

“Faith is defined by the darkness we have not conquered.”

Ethrid Brokenbranch AKA Sprigg the Obnoxious gets his own book of history by the Cobalt Soul.  Autobiographical writings were found in the wreckage of his house

The Goddess Ioun: Our Knowing Mistress

“Comprehension is the only true measure of dominion.” (This is the same quote as for the Everlight - idk which one is the error.)

The Raven Queen: The Matron of Ravens

“By my grace, all are rendered equal.”

It is forbidden to study Arkhan the Cruel.

Vox Machina lived out the rest of their days in relative happiness and peace.

Percy’s magnum opus is the Clock Tower of Whitestone - a national treasure of Tal’Dorei.

Vex continued to rule as Baroness for a time after Percy’s passing.  Vex saw her bother’s spirit after the birth of her first child.  She reconciled somewhat with her father and showered Velora with love and blessings.

Kaylie went to school at the Alabaster Lyceum in Emon on Scanlan’s dime.

Pike and Scanlan had a lengthy courtship.

Tary’s book The Daring Trials and Tribulations of Ser Taryon Darrington contained an accurate account of his time with Vox Machina, even if nothing else is accurate.

Grog helped Earthbreaker Groon restore the Temple to the Stormlord while staying Vasselheim, defending his title in the Crucible.

The final, actual words of the book that aren’t a dedication or part of an image:  “And as the story is told: ‘Everyday that raven comes to visit.��” ;’(

There is a stunning four page fold-out page of Percy’s clock tower. I cannot emphasize enough how lovely it is.  The end of it dedicates it to Vex and is quoted with, “I couldn’t have asked for a better dream.”

On the other side of the fold-out are some... sketches of Percy’s notes? It seems that Diplomacy is now powered up by Cabal’s Ruin.

 As part of “Cobalt Souls” thank you page: “Within a book, a story can only sleep. It requires a reader to give it life.”

[franeridart]

Do you care for any of the dekusquad?

I care for most if not all hero-related characters in bnha! But if with care you mean if any dekusquad member is between my favorite characters/if I care enough about any of them to draw them more than once every blue moon, then my Todoroki tag might tip you off, there lol

Anon said:Will you ever draw Bakukamikiri again? I rlly loved how you did them!!

Thank you!!! And I think I will, though I don’t have any project to do so in the near future, sorry!

Anon said:Soo KyouHaba day (6/16) is coming up and was wondering if you could do some seijoh next gen stuff. Yahaba is often forgot about a and Kyoutani isn’t really included in a lot of Aoba Johsai stuff. Feel free to not do anything just suggesting something

Aw sorry anon but I don’t have the time to do day-themed stuff right now! KyoHaba is currently the hq ship I’m most likely to draw for, though, since they’re the only ones I’m still reading fics for! So I don’t think any will come around 6/16, but I don’t exclude I might draw them anyway in the near future! :D

Anon said:Omg your taking part in a zine!! I’m so excited! And it’s a BakuSquad one too! Ik I’m definitely going to be buying it when pre-orders open up!

I’m taking part in TWO zines, actually!! Both the @takemyhandzine and the @sixthwheelzine !!!!! I’ll be making comics for both, and if you do decide to buy either I really hope you’ll like them!!!!

Anon said:whats a zine?

In general, a zine is an amatorially published magazine! Specifically tho here we’re talking about fanzines, so magazines put together and published by fans for other fans! The ones I’m taking part in are both about kiribaku, and will include both fanart (fancomics included) and fanfics! Depending on how much you wish to spend on it, you can also buy a bundle with fanmade merch too, and the Sixth Wheel zine is gonna have a pdf version too, in case you’d prefer to buy it like that! They’re super cool projects I’m insanely happy I got invited to take part in!!!!

Anon said:Your art style is so pretty and I love to see your amazing bnha drawing on my dash

There is literally no way I could ever stop being into d gray man ever and I’m also still following hq’s manga, yes! I dunno if and when I’ll draw for either fandom next, tho, sorry! ;^;

Anon said:Everytime you draw kiribaku I gain 1 life,,,,, tysm I love ur art SM ur such an inspiration,,,💖💖💖

Oh my g o d s thank you so much ;^;

Anon said:Your Kiridragon is the cutest, I love him and want Katsuki to protect him forever. Thank you for sharing that last story with us!!! (Ps. Can we expect more Kiridragon adventures in the future? *puppy eyes*)

Thank you for liking him!!!!!! And if you’re talking about the fantasy AU in general, I’ll 100% for sure draw more for it! If you’re talking about them as kids tho I can’t say for sure - I definitely want to, tho, right now!! ;^;

Anon said:As a suggestion, could you maybe do Kiri*Deku, whether it be romantic, platonic, or misinterpreted by Bakugou and he takes Kirishima because that’s his sunshine boy thank you very much, get your own

Aw anon sorry but krdk is…………. really not my thing, so I don’t take suggestions for it ;-; I might end up doodling them in the future anyway since I have in the past, but that’s only gonna be if I find an idea I really really really wanna draw, I’m sorry

Anon said:Just wanted to say that I love your art and I just went through a majority of your blog. But I noticed you used to draw erasermic but haven’t recently and I was wondering if you still ship it??? It’s okay if you don’t or if you just haven’t gotten the inspiration recently, I’m just curious. Anyways, keep doing what you do and being amazing

Thank youuuu!!!!! And I’ve actually always drawn erasermic super sporadically! They’re one of my main ships in the fandom honestly, but since they’re sorta hard to draw for me I rarely end up drawing them? I do still love them with all my heart tho! You can expect to see more of them in the future, for sure ;u;

Anon said:I came for my kiribaku fix (it HAD to be him I’m dying all over again) but. God ur art always blows me tf away ur so good and skilled and ur improvement in like… everything inspires me SO much so bless u and I hope u have a WONDERFUL day

I’m so glad I can inspire anyone, oh my g o o o o o o d ;O; thank you so so much!!!!

Anon said:Wow your dragon kiribaku art is so cute! Will there be a sequel!

Not for the immediately after, for now! Since Horikoshi is yet to give me the official design for Kiri’s mom //sob - but as I said up there I do want to draw more with them as kids in the fantasy AU, so maybe, yeah!!!

Anon said:I absolutely love EVERY SINGLE facial expression that Bakugou makes in your Fantasy Babies comic strip. He’s such an unapologetic little shit.

THANK YOU!!!!! I was mostly trying to convey the fact that he’s too young to think about the consequences of his actions before doing stuff like calling the rage of a dragon mom upon his city l m a o glad you liked him!!! :D

Anon said:The way you draw the baby bois has me weak 💖💕❤️💗💞💓💝 That baby dragon Kiri 💯💯💯💖💖💖😊😊😊

Thank you so muuuuuucccchhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anon said:EYYYYY! Love your art, the newest comic made me laugh so hard that I almost chocked to death :D (Jk, I just couldn’t breathe normally) God bless youuuuuuuuuu

I’m SUPER HAPPY it made you laugh!!!!!! heck!!!!!!!!!!!!! ;^;

Anon said:You content makes my heart go doki doki doki doki doki

THANK!!!! YOU!!!!! SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!

Anon said:the way you draw wings is so cool, i love it. your art is just amazing in ggeneral to be honest, like akjdjkhdlkdl

AAAAHHHHHHHH I’M HAPPY YOU LIKE THEM I have so much fun drawing them, honestly!!!

Anon said:I love the fact that mina and kiri are cannonically childhood friends (middle school counts as childhood right??) Like I love their friendship so much and they both deserve the world.

Real, they’re adorable and I wish Horikoshi would actually have them interact a bit more in the manga, since as for now their scenes together are pretty much non-existent aside from their backstory ;^;

Anon said:THEY ANIMATED IT!!! THE HAND GRAB!!! IT’S IN MOVING COLOUR!!!

HELL YES I DIED IT’S BEEN NEARLY A WEEK AND I’M STILL DYING WHAT A BEAUTIFUL TIME TO BE ALIVE

Anon said:You with your beautiful beautiful art and Chonideno with her beautiful beautiful writing about Kiri and Bakugou makes my heart so happy and warm and just… Thank you for existing and love Kiribaku! I don’t know, your art makes me so happy

Ohhhhhhhhhhh boy what an honor to be put at the same level as mag ;^; I love her and her writing so much, honestly !!!!!! thank you so so much for the compliment, anon!!!!!!!!!!!

Anon said:Kirishima braiding his hair while he talks is both adorable and relatable. Thank you for that.

I’m!!!! mostly happy you caught it hahahaha thank you !!!!!!

Anon said:Hey. You seem insecure but your art is great. What kind of color scheme do you see for Hawks?

Hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm I honestly don’t like thinking about stuff I think Hori will give me in canon soon enough? But out of instincts I mostly imagined him in shades of brown, I think - typical birds of prey and/or aviator colors, you know!

Anon said:I love ur drawings but i also love reading ur tag. They re so funny sometimes

lmao that’s good too!! As long as I can make people enjoy a couple of moments of their time I don’t really mind how I do it hahaha

Anon said:your art is beautiful anfndfnd

AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you so much!!!!!!!!!!!

Anon said:Hello fran, just wanted to say i’ve been here for a long long time (since the h/q times :‘o) and today i was thinking about some of your old art and if you remember, you had a soulmates au for b/n/h/a that was super good and i really loved so i wanted to tell you!! You as an artist have such an impact on me and that au is my fave of yours!! ;0; have the nicest day ever!! -soulmates anon (4 future ref!!!)

OH MAN I’m so happy to hear you still remember that one?? It was such a fun experiment to play around with, I’m glad you liked it this much!!!! Thank you for telling me omg !!!!! ;^;

Anon said:Hi, so where did you go to watch Haikyuu (I’m assuming probably Crunchyroll but ya never know) and where might I find the dubbed version?

Aw anon sorry I don’t watch the dubbed version! Since I’m Italian, I don’t really have much use for the English dubs haha I’m pretty sure you can find it on kissanime, tho!

Anon said:could you briefly go through the process of making and completing one of your comics? I wanted to start some short bnha comics but idk where to start, thank you!

Sorry this took me an age to answer - I have answered this question a while back, I think it might be in my art tips tag! But to go through it fast, my process is something like

find a line or an exchange I want to deliver, or a topic I want discussed (usually happens randomly as I’m doing other things)

spend a million years just staring at a wall or at my ceiling or anything else as I build a whole scene in my mind to have the lines or topic take the form of an actual comic (might take two minutes, might take a month)

draw a rough sketch of the whole comic - I do this with all panels (and pages, when I separate a comic in pages) on the same canvas, so that I can look at the whole scene all together and get a good sense of the general flow of the storytelling. This process includes cutting panels, moving panels around, reshaping panels, trying different poses and angles for the same panels to find the right one, writing and deleting and re-writing lines till I’m sure the wording is what I’m going for*

line the panels - I mean the actual panels, the straight lines delimitating the panel, I line them all first and put them on a separate layer

line the people!! All the characters in every panel are lined in this stage

line the backgrounds! In case there are backgrounds and the comic is meant to stay in black and white, if not then color the backgrounds! (I always start coloring from the backgrounds cause they’re the boring parts and if I leave them for last I never do them ever #rip)

in case of black and white comics, we fill in flat, gray-scale colors at this point (or, as I’ve lately started doing, I only put down shadows and leave it at that). If it’s in colors, we color the people!

Write down the dialogue!! *at this point we change a lot of the dialogue again because enough time has passed since I sketched it that I changed my mind on everything, don’t be like me

you’re done!

All of it is done on one single canvas, unless it’s a comic with separate paneled pages in which case they’re all done on their own canvas but still drawn all together. That’s about it, hope it was at least a little bit useful!

Anon said:Hi! I just wanted to thank you for your art, especially your KiriBaku. I was exactly in the same situation than Bakugou in the post tagged “bakugou being blunt about his feelings” (except we are 2 girls) , so I used it to confess to her. She said yes! X3

OH MY GOD I’m so super happy to hear that!!!!! Congrats on your gf, anon!!!!!! *throws hearts at u*

[thelittlestspider]

get to know the writer tag

tagged by @the-color-of-roseblood, @ghost-possum, and @thevajunglebook. thank you for tagging me and i’m sorry it took this long.

i’m bad at coming up with questions so i’m not going to do the 10 questions. but i am going to answer the questions that were listed. also this is an open tag, so anyone who wants to do it can do it.

rules: answer 10 questions, create 10 new questions, and then tag 10 people

from the-color-of-roseblood:

1) We always talk about favorites. What’s your least favorite book?

hmmm. one book i’ve always hated is the scarlett letter. we read it in school and it was awful.

2) Do you have a favorite place to write? What’s it like there?

i didn’t really have a favorite place to write until recently. a few months ago i finally got a desk and i’ve been in love with it ever since. 

very, very cluttered. there’s all kinds of stuff piled on it. on one side i’ve got soda cans, plastic bottles, my phone; the other side is junk food, my glasses case, a couple of necklaces. i have an old sugar plum fairie barbie on the top shelf that i tried to sell, that nobody wanted even though i had it for like $5 (i might post a picture of it later bc it’s super pretty).

3) Do you have any artistic endeavors other than writing? If not, what else would you most like to learn to do?

back before the writing bug really bit me, i used to draw all the time. now i barely ever draw unless i get really inspired. 

hmmm, i don’t know. maybe sign up for duolingo and learn other languages?? other than that i don’t know.

4) What’s your favorite holiday? Why? Have you ever written a story involving that holiday?

halloween is my favorite, followed closely by christmas just bc i love the tacky decorations and the music and the movies and pretty much everything about it. 

looool i have tried to write fics involving these holidays, but they never come out how i want them to and i’ve kind of given up on it. 

5) How do you fight writer’s block?

silly answer: drink so much caffeine i ascend to the astral plane to get advice from the writing gods.

actual answer: there’s not really an easy way to answer this. sometimes i see writing posts that are like, “you have to write every day!!” and i’m thinking y’know that’s not always possible. whether i’m out of inspiration/ideas, or i’m in a depression spiral, or i’m tired from work, or maybe i’m just not feeling that particular project. it’s not a sin to need a break from your wips, bc even though it’s happy work it’s still work. and there’s no shame in needing to take a breather to get yourself sorted out. 

on days when i’m ready to write, i do different things to get myself pumped up for my wips. i’ll make playlists, make aesthetic boards, sometimes i torture my mutuals with rambles about my ocs or tag them with little excerpts from the project. i really like making an aesthetic tag so i can go and look at all the pretty stuff that makes me think of the wip, so i can remind myself why i want to write it in the first place.

6) At what point in a WIP do you decide to send it to your first beta readers/reviewers?

probably not until i’m at least done with a second draft. the first draft needs to have all those plot holes filled, all those loose threads woven back together, characters need developing. showing a beta reader my first draft would be like taking a person to a room filled with beginning sketches of people where they’re still just shapes instead of having any defining features. 

7) What’s your greatest inspiration?

i don’t think i have one lol.

8) A lot of writers have certain things they like to describe - food, clothes, fights, party scenes. What’s your favorite thing to describe?

emotional scenes where characters talk about their problems and they hug and maybe even cry. i’m a terrible person.

9) What’s your approximate ratio of reading to writing? How do you find time for both? Do you do both on the same day, or split it up?

you’re going to judge me for this, but i haven’t been reading actual books lol. the last few months i’ve just been reading fanfic oneshots with like the occasional multichapter fic thrown in. my attention span has been terrible.

10) What books would you recommend to someone to get them into reading?

i think it depends on the person. what i might find compelling, someone else might find super boring. 

from ghost-possum:

1. What is your favorite book in a genre that you don’t tend to write? If you do fantasy/sci-fi, what’s your favorite romance? If you write literary, what’s your favorite paranormal YA?

i don’t really like writing stuff that doesn’t have some kind of paranormal element. so i guess i’d say my writing enemy that i like reading is real world drama. 

my favorite books that are like idk period pieces i guess?? are Anne of Green Gables and Pride and Prejudice. 

as for stuff that’s based in more recent times, there’s a ya series i really like called tiny pretty things that’s about a group of ballerinas competing against each other for spots for prima ballerina?? and there’s a lot of drama and backstabbing. it’s kind of a dark series. 

2. What book would you love to see turned into a movie or tv show? Any particular reasons why?

i can’t think of anything right now. maybe green angel by alice hoffman?

3. Have you ever written a character with a certain real-life person in mind. Was it someone you know in real life or someone famous?

some of my ocs were originally based off acquaintances, but as i kept writing them the characters changed so much that they became pretty much unrecognizable. 

4. If your latest WIP had a color scheme, what would it be?

paper heart would be red, orange, pink, and purple. the colors of a sunset with the threat of darkness falling over everything. 

5. What do you eat or drink while writing (if anything)?

s’mores poptarts if i’m too lazy to get up and fix myself something. chips. different sodas: cherry coke, sunkist, grape fanta. 

6. What do you do to restore your inspiration when you’re not writing?

watch movies/tv shows. listen to podcasts or music. look at cool pictures. 

7. Coffee, Tea, Booze, or ALL THREE?

coffee and booze. i’m not a big fan of tea. 

8. Who is your favorite visual artist?

uhhhh, does studio ghibli count? their artwork is so appealing to look at.

9. Do you have any other creative pursuits outside of writing? What are they?

maybe learning other languages??

10. What is your favorite trope, the one you will always fall for and never get enough of?

AAAAAAAAAAA, ENEMIES TO FRIENDS TO LOVERS. 

from thevajunglebook: 

1. Describe your WIP as a cross between two movies.

i’m trying to think of what paper heart would be, but i’m drawing a blank. this needs to be its own game where someone else guesses what movies your wip is the lovechild of.

2. What’s your favorite part of writing communities?

cheering on and also being cheered on during the writing process. getting to read all these wonderful stories written by wonderful people. knowing other people are suffering just as much as i am lol. 

3. If you could collaborate with any writer (whether friend or idol), who would it be and what would you work on together?

i am terrible at collaborating with other people lol. 

4. Do you prefer reading/writing standalones or series? 

i love reading series, but i’m not good at writing them lol. yet somehow i always end up writing series.

5. Who is your ultimate OC otp(+)?

canon: for the next three days verse it’s between leana/yvonne and jason/bella for otp status. my ot5 is carter/matteo/violet/tiffany/nina. 

for defect i’d say my otp is joe/alec. also ethan/noah later on down the line.

ot3: ned/alec/sage 

ot4: ned/alec/joe/ray.

au: joe/ned/carter

.

for the graveyard of the forgotten it’s definitely orrinaz/eliya/amnayel. 

6. If your OC(s) joined tumblr, what type of blog would they run?

i wish i could answer this question with the dedication it deserves. i feel like their blogs would have a lot of memes and shitposts with some aesthetic stuff thrown in. 

7. If you could write an adaptation of any story, which would it be?   

while i have zero desire to write an adaptation for a story, i’ve always liked the idea of a movie version of Green Angel by Alice Hoffman. mostly bc it’s surreal, a little weird, post apocalyptic, and it would just look really cool.

8. What common writing tips never work for you? And/or what uncommon advice do you swear by? 

anything that’s like, “if you don’t write everyday, you’re not a real writer!!” like chill dude. just bc i’m not cranking out 1,000 words a day like some lean, mean, writing machine doesn’t mean i’m not dedicated to what i’m doing. 

9. Do you research before, during, or after writing sessions? 

it depends. sometimes i get to a point in a fic where i’m like, “uh oh” and i go into a research spiral trying to find this one specific thing. thinking ah yes, this is the specific thing i need at this very moment that i probably could do without.

10. Have you had a writing epiphany that totally revamped your WIP?

if only. there were a few game changers in the next three days series that changed things for the better:

- the way carter and matteo first met lmao. 

- violet’s existence. 

- sage rescuing and then leaving violet and carter. 

- carter and nina’s bromance. 

- alec and carter, and also joe and matteo being siblings.

- tiffany seeing ghosts.

[adventuresofgameo7]

Not Dead Part 2

Hey. it's been nearly a year and a half since I last updated everyone here (idk if anyone is here I'm just making this to feel better about myself lol). Just wanted to let everyone know what's been going on.

To start, I have increasingly become very unmotivated. The current world situation has been chaotic with COVID, and I'm struggling with my mental. I've been streaming a lot because it's just easier to press a button and talk to others who are watching. When it comes to things like YouTube, however, I haven't been able to do as much as I used to. It's been so hard to consistently work on videos and I honestly have no idea how I can get back into things. It's been a lot harder because of this second thing.

I'm an adult now. It's weird to think about, but ever since I became an adult my life has gone more uphill and downhill than it used to. I started working and I have been all over the place with college. It's a huge mess and it doesn't really help my situation with content creation. I don't plan on stopping any time soon, but it is a problem and I need to figure it out before that happens.

So, about the comics. Originally it was gonna be more simple, in black and white, and drawn traditionally. While some things haven't changed like making it in B/W and the current story creation progress (lol), obviously much time has passed and a lot has changed, including my art style. I discovered this thing called "digital art" and I've been having a lot of fun making art for myself and others. I'm slowly improving on my art because of that and it makes me happy knowing I can do so much more that I used to. As it may be easier sometimes to draw digitally, I may wanna stick to traditional for this one. I'll have to research how to professionally ink and print my comics, because even though I'm just gonna be posting them here, I kind of wanna have a physical collection people can get? But that's for the far future.

To be completely honest, I don't have too much experience with comics. I started looking into how Manga is written and drawn, and I realized that it's WAY different than what I was originally planning. I kind of wanna make something along those lines, so I guess I'll have to make new sketches of the 5 pages I have lmao.

Oh, I also made my first OC!! Her name is Aika and she will be a side character in the middle part of the series. I commissioned my art friend Pansetta to design her and she did such an amazing job!! I'm so excited to bring her to life because this is technically my first real OC that isn't gameo, and this is the first time I put so much detail into a character's personality and traits and such. I'll make another post about her once I actually draw her lol.

Anyway, that's what's been going on with me. Hopefully at some point I will feel better about making my comics and I'll have more time as a whole to do that and content creation. I hope everyone is doing well <3

-gameo

[hooman-trash-can-blog]

Fanders Fanfic: Patton is allergic to cats

Idk what this is. If anyone reads it, I hope you enjoy.... /////////////////////////////////////////////////// Roman is confused. It’s weird that Patton would be the only one allergic to cats right? Well he’s going to try to get to the bottom of all this! /////////////////////////////////////////////////// It was after the nostalgia video part two and Logan was sitting in his room finishing a crossword puzzle to calm himself after the emotionally charged day when suddenly there was a knock on the door. “Come in,” he replied calmly as he placed down his puzzle. He was surprised to look up and see a rather puzzled looking Roman. “Hey Logan. I just have a quick question and then I’ll be out of your hair.” Logan motioned towards his bed for Roman to sit. “Ask away Roman.” “Okay, I was just wondering how Patton is allergic to cats but none of the other sides are. Unless someone else is.” Logan pondered this moment, “no I don’t think any of us besides Patton have that allergy and as to why that is, I sadly have no clue.” Roman stood up thoroughly disappointed. “Wow way to go nerd. That was utterly disappointing.” Logan frowned, “like you could do any better.” Roman closed the door to Logan’s room and headed to his own room, a plan already formulating in his mind. Time skip “Patton could you come out to the studio,” Roman called as he checked his set up. “Sure Roman just give me a second.” Roman smiled and placed the final item in of his plan. He looked up and saw Patton in his normal blue shirt and boring grey cardigan. “Hey Roman. What’s up?” “Oh I just had a quick something I wanted to test.” Roman turned around and pulled out a small notepad. “So you say you’re allergic to cats right?” Patton was extremely confused, “I CAT believe you missed that I literally told you in the last video.” Roman took down a note, “and you do realize we are the same person right?” Patton nodded, but he was still confused as to why Roman was stating the obvious. “Okay, I am not allergic to cats.” Patton smiled widely, “Awww. You’re so lucky!” Roman smiled, “you are adorable but since we’re the same person doesn’t that mean you don’t ACTUALLY have a cat allergy?” Patton was taken aback by this question. It would make sense that since Roman and him were the same person cats wouldn’t be a problem for him if Roman didn’t have a problem with them. “Okay then. Would you like to do a small experiment?” Patton nodded his head, his smile returned. “Okay do you are going to be with a cat for the rest of today and then we’re going to try to figure out what in the name of all things Disney is going on here.” Patton backed away from Roman a little, changing his mind. “I don’t know Roman. That doesn’t sound like a very good idea.” Roman frowned and gave Patton the puppy eyes, “please Pat? Just one day?” Patton didn’t want to take the cat, but he didn’t want to hurt Roman even more. “Okay what harm could one day do?” “Great!” Roman conjured up a small grey tabby cat and handed it to Patton whose eyes immediately started to itch. “Have fun with your new friend Patton!” And with that, both of the sides returned to their rooms. Time skip “Umm a name. You need a name.” Patton sniffled as he stroked the cat. “How about-about-“ Patton paused and tilted his head towards the light on the ceiling. He inhaled deeply and sneezed loudly. Patton heard Virgil let out a sudden gasp, “please don’t be loud.” Patton blushed. “S-sorry Virgil.” Patton heard Virgil muttering and rubbed his nose. “How about Muffins?” Muffins had gotten off of Patton’s lap when he had sneezed and was now parked comfortably on Patton’s pillow. “Do you like that name?” Patton sneezed again, but quieter so he didn’t give Virgil an anxiety attack. Muffins meowed and walked back over to Patton who pulled out his phone. “Hey Roman texted me Muffins.” Patton read a text that said hey are you having fun with the cat, hope it’s going well. Anyways we’re doing a video tonight, so be ready for Thomas to pull you out of your room. Patton sighed and rubbed his nose again. When he heard a knock on his door. “Umm just a sec!” Patton opened his large closet door and put muffin and the pillow inside carefully. “Come in!” Virgil opened the door and removed his oversized headphones. “Oh hey buddy what’s happening,” Patton said as he grabbed a tissue off of his nightstand. “Oh I was just wondering if you were okay. I heard you sneezing, and uh just ummm not that I care or anything but I do so I wanted to check on you.” Patton laughed and pushed his glasses further up his nose, “well thank you for not caring, but I’m fine really just a little ummm-“ Patton’s nose tickled again and he sneezed. Virgil flinched a little bit regained his hostile demeanor. “Sorry Kiddo. It’s just a little dusty in here I guess.” Virgil looked at Patton and cocked his eyebrow. “Dusty?” Patton smiled, “yup.” He felt awful for lying to Virgil , but he didn’t want him to get mad or be stressed. “Well then maybe you should get a breath of fresh air or something in the in between.” Patton chuckled, “I’m fine. I should probably dust anyways.” Virgil smirked, “well just knock on my door if you need any help with that.” Patton smiled, “sure thing.” And with that Virgil put on his headphones again and closed the door. “Whew. He almost caught us. I hope he isn’t to stressed about it.” Patton said to himself as he opened the closet door. Muffins rubbed herself against Patton’s leg. “You know what-“ Patton sneezed and grabbed another tissue as he sat down on his bed. “Maybe I was over reacting. This isn’t that bad.” Patton was so happy about the cat that he let deceit blind him without putting up a fight. And with that, Muffins crawled up next to him and they both took a little cat nap. Time skip “But why would it be wrong for us to not help Talon move? I mean if we’re busy we’re busy!“ “I’ll take redundant statements for 200.” Patton sat up abruptly and remembered that they were recording. He moved over to his closet and changed into a fresh pair of clothes before rising into the living room. “Now Logan. Talon is a good friend and would do the same for us. How much time would it take to re-remove,” Patton sneezed and Logan sighed with irritation and Patton continued, “Anyways as I was saying, how much time would it take to remove something else from that day to help out a friend?” Logan pondered for a moment and made eye contact with Patton. “Okay time-out Patton, your eyes.” “What about them? EYE can’t SEE what you’re taking about?” Virgil leaned in a little and gave a low toned whistle, “they’re more bloodshot than mine, and that’s saying something.” Logan nodded in agreement. “Did someone say prince?!?” Roman rose up and smiled a dashing smile. “Hey Roman, how are you?” “Handsome as alway- Patton are you okay you don’t look to....ummm how to put it.....presentable.” Thomas motioned for Roman to calm down. “Oh I feel handy dandy.” Roman looked down at the ground suddenly feeling guilty for the cat. What if he is actually allergic to cats, Roman thought as he zoned out. “Roman, are you good,” Thomas asked. “Yeah-you-don’t-look-to-good-yourself-right-now,” Patton managed to rush the sentence out before sneezing again. “Hey let’s record another day. I think you’re getting sick Patton and the best thing for sickness is rest,” Logan declared as he powered off the camera. Oh good so it isn’t the cat, it’s because he’s sick Roman thought as he turned off his camera. Virgil and Thomas did the same. “Guys I’m fine let’s just,” Patton coughed, “let’s finish the video.” “No Patton, rest...please,” Virgil begged. “Okay. But tomorrow we record no matter what.” Patton replied as he shut down his camera. Time skip “Patton? How are you,” Roman asked as he brushed his teeth. Patton was washing his face with cold water. “Good. I’m glad this is because I’m sick and not because of the cat. She’s actually really sweet. I named her Muffins.” Roman smiled. “See I told you, nothing to fear. You can keep her if you would like.” Patton’s face lit up. “Ya mean it Roman?” Roman nodded and spit his water into the sink. Patton coughed aggressively, his face flushing a dark red. “Just try to get lots of rest okay?” “Will do buck-“ Patton sneezed, “buckaroo.” Time skip Virgil sat up in his bed drawing a sketch of Talon when he heard Patton cough again. He started counting in his head. It was 15 seconds before Patton’s breathing become normal again. Virgil closed his art book and stood up, walking towards Logan’s room. He knocked on the door softly and was soon answered by a disheveled looking Logan. “Virgil?” Logan slipped his glasses onto his face and frowned. “It’s 3 in the morning what are you doing?” “It’s Patton, I’m worried about him and I was wondering if you would check on him for me.” Logan nodded and closed his door. As they walked towards Patton’s, they heard an aggressively loud sneeze and Virgil flinched. “If he keeps doing that I might have to leave.” Logan rolled his eyes. Dumb emotions, he thought as he opened the door to Patton’s room and was shocked when he heard a soft purring noise. “Has Patton ever purred in his sleep?” Virgil shook his head and followed Logan into the room. “Patton? Patton I’m going to turn on the light real fast okay?” Patton sat up, “no please,” he replied his voice hoarse. Logan flipped on the light switch and saw muffins sitting at the end of Patton’s bed. “Explain, now.” Logan said as he picked up the cat and handed it to Virgil. “Well Roman was convinced I wasn’t allergic so he asked me to test it and I did and I’m fine, like you said I’m just sick.” Logan sighed, “Patton you have rashes up your arms and your neck is swollen. We need to use some Benadryl.” Virgil scowled, “Roman gave you this cat?” Patton nodded slowly. “We will talk to Roman tomorrow Virgil, for now, there’s some Benadryl in the top left drawer in the bathroom, can you retrieve it for me?” Virgil placed mittens on the floor and retrieved the Benadryl. Logan poured the liquid medicine and gave it to Patton. The swelling reduced almost immediately. “God Patton what were you thinking?” Patton frowned. “I just wanted to make Roman happy.” Together the three sides helped move Patton to the in between for the night so that he could sleep semi-comfortably. They also moved Muffins to Virgil’s room and soon enough all three had fallen asleep to the sound of an occasional sneeze or cough. Time skip “Roman! What the hell were you thinking giving Patton a cat?!?!” Virgil was starting to panic again as he thought of what could’ve happened to Patton. “Virgil I’m fine please don’t be mad at each other.” Patton sneezed and chuckled a little, “it was a SNEEZY fix and it’s okay now, we know not to do that in the future.” Roman looked up at the other three sides. “I’m sorry guys. But I’m especially sorry to you Patton. I shouldn’t have used my emotions to get you to do that.” Patton smiled, “well shucks. I forgive ya Roman. Despite all,” Patton sneezed again, “yeah all that, I enjoyed Mmmmmuffins company.” Roman smiled. “Are we all good verge and Logan?” Roman asked as he moved closer to the other 3 sides. “Don’t do it again,” Logan and Virgil declared at the same time. Patton chuckled and pulled them all closer together, “group-group-“ Patton started, but he felt a tickle in the back of his nose. “Hug,” Virgil finished as Patton sneezed loudly. The whole group flinched, including Patton. And soon enough all of them were laughing again while Mmmmmuffins relaxed in Virgil’s dark room

[juggie-imagines]

My Messy Artist

Jughead x Reader

MASTERLIST

Requested: Anonymous-  Can you do an imagine where jughead is fond of a art student?? And he's kinda shy about it?

A/N: okay so I’m thinking of posting twice a week now because I liked posting on Wednesday idk, what do you guys think?

Words: 3027

Warnings: N/A 

I sat alone in the art class swirling one of my paint brushes in a clean glass of water trying to think of something to paint for my last portfolio piece. I had to come back after school to paint and draw for my portfolio because it was considered an outside project by the school because I was only a sophmore so most days I stayed after school and spent my afternoons painting and drawing.

 Usually I start right away but today I had run out of ideas so I sat in front of my easel mixing paint colors and stirring the water in my glass, trying to think of something to paint. I suddenly jumped at the sound of the door slamming open, "Geez," I said before turning in my seat to see who had caused the huge commotion, "Want to pick up the door there buddy?" I chuckled as the boy stood there looking quite sheepish.

 "Sorry, I didn't think anyone would be in here." He chuckled nervously, "Do you know if I can find tape in here?" He said quickly before I could answer his first sentence.

 "Depends, you're not going to use it for anything kinky are you?" I smirked and hopped off my seat in search for tape.

 "Oh with who?" He smirked and followed behind me, "You and I are the only ones here, everyone has left." He said watching me pull boxes off the shelves and rummage through them.

"So what do you need it for?" I said after a few moments of silence as I concentrated on trying to find the tape so he could leave and I could start my painting.

 "Don't freak out," he pulled a box out and peered into it, "but it's for a murder board in the school's newspaper room."

 I looked up slowly and eyed him carefully, "So you're the guy that is constantly writing about that Jason kid and not actually addressing the tragic shortage of tater tots in the cafeteria!"

 "Yes and yes." He said nervously then started to smile when looked up and saw me smiling.

 "I don't think there's tape," I huffed and put my box back on the shelf, "it honestly doesn't surprise me, it's end of term, we barely have pencils left. I can bring you tape tomorrow if you're really desperate?" I watched as he slid the box he was busy with back on the shelf.

 "No it's fine, I'll get some from home." He sighed, "Sorry about earlier..." he grimaced as he looked over at the door remembering the embarrassing moment, "Didn't mean to distract you from your..."

 "Painting." I finished his sentence as he chuckled and made to leave, "Wait, don't go, please. It gets really boring and lonely in here." I said just before he got to the door.

 He turned and smiled "I thought you'd never ask." He took a stool from one of the other easels and pulled it next to mine, "Well aren't you going to join me?" He chuckled and motioned for me to sit in my seat.

 A huge smile broke onto my face as an idea sparked in my head, "Actually, no." I said with a wide grin which made him cock an eyebrow at me. I walked over to the easel and moved it slightly to the side. Once I finished adjusting the easel I held out a hand for him which he took almost too willingly, I pulled him into the centre of the room and smiled, liking how my plan was working so far. "Where's you stool?" I frowned suddenly then looked behind me and sighed as I turned to fetch it for him.

 "Thought you wanted me to keep you company?" He said with a frown as I walked back to him and passed over his seat, he sat down and watched me at I examined how the light fell on him.

 "Yes, but then I decided you can be my first model for a portrait in my portfolio." I smiled and put my finger under his chin making him look up slightly which made the light from the window catch every fine detail. "I know it's intimidating," I chuckled and walked to the light switch and flipped it so the window provided the only light in the room, "but try keep that position, you can move but when I look at you, sit exactly like that." He nodded then chuckled once I had sat down. "What?" I said with another smile breaking onto my face.

 "I just thought all my life that I would be the guy staring at the naked woman laying there as I pretended to paint," He laughed as he spoke, "this is very different from my expectations."

 Well, wait, what's your name?" I said at I looked back at him as I sketched a rough outline.

 "Uh, Jughead." He said and went back to his position as I studied him further.

 "Well Jughead, can I enlighten you on how art really is?" I said with amusement lacing my words.

 "If you have to," he groaned playfully and rolled his eyes, "I mean you've already in prisoned me in here, so why don't you ruin my art room fantasies too." I looked at him again to see if he was being serious but he had a huge smirk playing on his face.

 I chuckled and shook my head before carrying on, “The only reason all the guys are staring at the model’s boobs is because they are trying to get their shading right, the model is probably wondering when she can take another bathroom break and some weirdo is staring her right in the face because they’ve done one eye and now the pressure on.” I finished off sketching the basic shapes and leant to the side grabbing a thick brush to start off the background. “I also have nude painting is not that common in high schools, as you could probably guess.” I said trying to stifle a giggle causing Jughead to laugh.

 “Well I guess that’s a good thing because I can barely draw a stickman.” He chuckled which made the corners of his eyes crease and his smile grow even wider.

 I spent the next hour explaining different techniques and styles to him and teaching hi the names of different shades of colours in exchange for his never ending knowledge of old movies and comics. I had finished the background and started painting his shirt and jacket by the time the sun started moving behind the building. I finished painting his collar before sitting back and examining my work as Jug fiddled with one of the screws on a nearby easel while he kept jabbering about his favourite film. I looked up at him and sighed in satisfaction causing a curiosity to spark in him, he climbed off his high stool and rushed eagerly to my side to see the work for himself.

 His brows furrowed together when he stood next to me but they soon relaxed “You didn’t finish?” I looked at him and chuckled, “No Jug, it’s going to take more than one afternoon to finish.”

 He pouted playfully, “I wanted to see my gorgeous face in art form!” he whined and pretended to throw a tantrum.

 "Well I guess you'll have to keep me company tomorrow afternoon then." I said with a smirk which made a bright smile grow on his face.

 He chuckled and watched me pack my paints away "Okay, see you tomorrow..."

 "Y/N," I giggled as I walked to the sink to tip out the jar of now dark grey water.

 "Y/N." he said with a wink and waved while he slipped out the door as I washed of my pallets shaking my head at his shenanigans.

 JUGHEAD

 I hadn’tseen Y/N the next day until lunch, she sat next to a girl a few tables down, straight in front of me. I couldn't stop staring, she was the most gorgeous girl I had ever met and holy fuck was she cute.  

 Betty and I were brainstorming new ideas for the paper when she sat down, I had watched her enter the room and effortlessly make her way to a table next to a few of the other cheerleaders and some kids from my English and Maths class. Her vibrant presence radiated through the cafeteria making the air feel a lot less suppressive.

 Betty looked behind her when she saw I had stopped listening to her and my concentration was elsewhere. A small smirk was plastered on her face when she turned back to me, “Checking out the cheerleaders Jug?" I shook my head slowly as I kept my eyes locked on her watching her every move. Betty frowned and watched me for a second, "Are you looking at Rachel?" She hushed not wanting tables near us to hear because Rachel had been rumors going around.

 “God no.” I groaned and looked down at my food, she watched me and raised her eyebrows questionably indicating me to carry on. “It’s Y/N…” I mumbled and brushed my hair back.

 “Y/N Y/L/N!” She squealed making Veronica look over at us suddenly very interested.

 “What’s happening?” Veronica chuckled and turned her attention to Betty and I.

 “Juggie’s got a crush!” Betty squealed, “Y/N!”

 “The art kid?” Veronica questioned and turned in her seat to see her.

 “If you two tell a soul.” I warned making Veronica cheer as she realized she was right, “Guys, I’m being serious.” I said when they wouldn’t stop giggling.

 “Oh my word! This is adorable!” Betty exclamation to Veronica who was agreeing to anything she said at that point.

 “Girls keep it down!” I hushed and glared at them in fear someone would hear.

 “Aw, Jug, are you embarrassed?” Veronica smirked and nudged Betty making her join in on her giggles.

 “You two are the definition of evil.” I groaned and carried on eating, glancing over at her every now and then.

 “Hey Y/N.” I huffed as I dropped my backpack at my feet once I had entered.

 “Hi!” She called from the sink across the room, “Are you ready?” She said with a smirk plastered on her face, “Today should be fun, a lot of sitting still.”

 “Oh, my favorite.” I said sarcastically as I pulled one of the stools over to the spot making sure it was positioned properly, “At least I have my art room fantasy to think about.” I said with a chuckle before looking up to see her shaking her head. I walked over to see her washing brushes and palettes.”

 “I just had a lesson,” She said answering my thoughts, “I need to clean all this before I start the other painting.” She was dipping the brushes into a jar and swirling them until most of the colour had dissolved into the liquid and then she rinsed them under the tap.

 “Why don’t you just use the tap?” I grabbed a handful of brushes and walking to the other side of her so I could help.

 As I went to dip a brush in the jar she put her hand on mine, pulling it back in a panic, “Careful, that’s paint thinners, it’ll burn you.” She scolded as if I was too important to be burnt.

 “Oh,” I said and pulled my hand away before pulling my sleeve up then going ahead and cleaning the brush, “why do you use paint thinners then?”

 “Well I used oil paint in class earlier and it’s easier to use paint thinners to clean the brushes, it also ensures the paint doesn’t dry in the bristles.” She explained as she cleaned each brush with a great care in every stage of her system. “Jug, please be careful. I know you’re not eight but I really don’t want you to burn yourself.” She whined as she watched me swirling a brush in the jar of thinners.

 “Y/N I’m a strapping young man, I can handle some burns if something happens. I should be the one worrying about you anyways!” I fought back and watched as she rinsed off the last few brushes. She rolled her eyes and took the brush I had just cleaned and placed it on the side so it could dry with the rest.

 “I’m fine! I just don’t want you getting hurt.” She insisted as she wiped her hands off on a towel, finally done washing brushes. She took the jar of thinners screwing the lid on and placing it on a high shelf above the sink before making her way to the easel she had used yesterday and adjusting it slightly. “You can do whatever for now, I just need to set up.” She told me as she walked over to a table grabbing tubes of paint and a new set of brushes, she placed them on a side table by her easel then walked to the sink and filled a old pickle jar with water and took it back to her spot.

 I sat on my assigned stool watching her walk up and down the room retrieving all her things so she could start working on her painting. As my eyes followed her they caught two figures standing by the door, Betty and Veronica. My eyes widened once I had recognized them, they were giggling and making faces at me as they watched through the window in the door. “I’ll be right back Y/N/N.” I said slipping of my seat and stumbling for the door as she called out and okay. “What the hell are you two doing.” I whisper shouted and pulled them to the side so Y/N wouldn’t see us.

 “Aww Juggie, you’re so cute.” Ronnie commented, not even answering my question, “You’re going to ask her out right?” She said with hopeful eyes.

 “Please ask her to dinner at Pop’s!” Betty whined and pouted her bottom lip.

“Guys, it’s not like that.” I huffed and pulled a hand through my fringe.

 “Juggie you two look like lovesick puppies!” Ronnie argued back as Betty nodded along agreeing with her.

 “But what if she says no?” I asked quietly not wanting people around us to hear, “I mean it’s Y/N and I’m Jughead?”

 “She wouldn’t say no, she clearly enjoys having Jughead around” Ronnie said softly then paused and watched me, “Just give it a go.” I sighed and answered an okay before I made my way to the door and looked back at both of them.

 “Good luck Jug.” Betty chuckled as Veronica gave me a smile, I just shook my head and pushed the door open and slipped inside.

 “Everything okay?” Y/N said without turning to face me as she sat in front of the canvas.

 “Yeah, just checking up on my math homework.” I said quickly not having a better excuse come to mind, “Are we going to start?” I added on wanting to change the topic of conversation.

 “Yep! Just hop onto your stool there.” She pointed to the stool with the brush in her hand. “Jug today I really need you to stay in your position as much as possible because I need to get the right shades and stuff and then Monday  afternoon we can do the face detail and then we’re basically done.” She clapped at the end of her sentence with a huge smile forming on her lips.

 “No problem, I’d sit here all day if you told me to.” I chuckled and smugly grinned while watching her laugh and shake her head.

 She got of her seat bringing a pallet and brush along with her, “I need to try match your skin tone.” She informed me, “I’m really bad at trying to guess.” She giggled and mixed a bit of blue with a dull peach.

 “I can assure you I’m not blue.” I said matter of factly making her roll her eyes.

 She painted a streak of the colour she had just mixed onto the back of her and and held it next to my cheek, “It’s your undertone you idiot.” She chuckled and furrowed her eyebrows as she pulled her hand away from my cheek and added more yellow to the mix and painted another streak and comparing it to my cheek again. She compared a few streaks of paint before she walked back, satisfied with her decision.

 “So Y/N,” I said after she had sat down and started painting for a minute or two.

 “Mhm?” She hummed as she concentrated, her tongue sticking out slightly as she leaned closer to the canvas to do the edges of my face.

 “It’s Friday, do you have any plans for this weekend.” I said hoping she wouldn’t get the wrong idea but she kept concentrating on her painting.

 “No not really.” She said looking at me as she rinsed a brush off and picked up one of the thicker ones. “Why?” She said furrowing her eyebrows as she leant in again making sure she didn’t mess up.

 “Was kind of wondering if you maybe wanted to have dinner with me tonight?” I said and twirled a piece of my fringe nervously.

 She looked up and saw that I wasn’t joking, a huge smile grew on her face, “Of course!” She exclaimed and hopped off her stool and rushed over to me hugging me before I could even think about doing something. “You’re so cute.” She mumbled into my shoulder as she hugged me further, I chuckled and draped my arms around her watching the smile never leave her face. I looked up, a movement catching my attention, it was Veronica and Betty cheering and giving each other high fives from outside the class, I scolded them making them scurry off down the hallway.

 “How’s about we pack up for today so you can wash up before dinner?” I said pointing to the splotches of paint marking her arms and hands.

 She giggled then looked at me, “I’m a messy artist.”

 “You’re my messy artist.” I said pulling her in for another hug before helping her pack up all the paints and brushes.

[clevercatchphrase]

2017 in review, and goals for 2018

If I had to describe 2017 in one word it would be... monotonous. Sure, there were plenty of ups and downs, but for the most part, especially the latter 6 months, I just felt like I was going through the motions, holding my nose to the grind stone, doing work and paying off student loans. 2017 blew by me, and I remember thinking each month passed by with unusal quickness. There's a strange sense of disociation with that, like I wasn't really connected to reality for most of the year, and instead watched it pass me by from a seperate temporal window. In a weird way it may have been a bit of a godsend as well. I hear 2017 was hard for a lot of people, but feeling so disonnected from the year may have protected me and cushioned the blow in a sense.

I lost a family member this year in early june. I knew it was coming ever since january as I hated having to watch them deteriorate and get worse and worse until they finally passed. The three months leading up to it and the three months after were particularly hard and left me feeling unable to write or draw or do anything productive. I still miss them terribly. I always will. But I hope I won't let it immobilize me as much this year as it did last year.

Anyway, Let's review my goals for last year and see what I've accomplished. I’ve a lot to say, so for brevity’s sake I’ve put it all under the cut.

GOALS FOR 2017 1) Finish my 50 billion fan fictions so I can get back to drawing Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha. HAHAHAHAHA. The depression I got halfway through the year throughly put a halt on this. I haven't even finished one of the fics I've started in 2016. I got close, seeing as i participated in NaNoWriMo this year to try and force myself to finish, but I still need to revise and edit all that I've written and the motivation is non existant. GOD, I have so many stories too, all of them still undertale fan fiction because I'm still not over that game. I'll list them all when I share my goals for this year later below. 2)Draw in 2 pages of my sketch book each week so I'll finish a sketch book in a year. I was SO CLOSE with this one! I filled out 95 pages! But you know what i discovered in august? I realized that my 100 page sketch book.... was actually 150 pages! Oh well! I drew more this year than I thought i would! Just because i didn't hit 100 pages, doesn't mean I didn't accomplish something! 3) Finish 14 out of the remaining 27 lessons on my duolingo course I went fucking above and beyond with this one. I hit this goal back in may, and then I completely finished up the danish duolingo course by november. I also passed my 1095 day streak which translates to doing duolingo daily for OVER 3 YEARS STRAIGHT. I still practice daily to build my vocabulary, and I know I can't speak it for the life of me, or follow along with fast speakers, but give me a few minutes and I can probably read it for you. Funny how that works, where I can understand danish if it's written out, but ask me to translate from english to danish and I struggle like a butterfly in a tumble dryer. 4) Become passibly fluent in ASL I have this box of 600 ASL flash cards, and this year I practiced two of them a day until I got through the entire box. I certainly learned a bunch of new words but I wouldn't say I was fluent yet. I certainly don't know all the grammar rules yet. I HAVE been able to sign with people at my job, though I do rely heavily on fingerspelling still. Most everyone I talked with seemed to know I was trying and they seemed really excited that I could understand them if they were patient with me. I put more of my focus on Danish last year, but now that I'm done with Danish, maybe I can focust more on ASL. My sister told me about this site similar to duolingo called "memrise" that actually has an ASL course, so you can bet I'll be looking into that. 5) Read the entire dictionary I did this! I kept two spiral note books and wrote down any words I thought were cool or interesting! I haven't gone back and re-read the words I wrote down, but maybe I will this year! It was exhausting. It was weird. I still can't believe I spent about 200 hours last year doing this. 6) Read one new book every month Much like my sketch book goal, I almost completed this one. I kept it up every month until October, and then I just... stopped. I read more than I thought this year, though I ended up usually waiting until the last week of each month to read, and I also cheated by counting the dictionary as one of the things I read (hey, it's a book, ain't it?) I also re-read old books that I know I like, so not entirely 10 new books were read this year. Reading 1 new book a month isn't one of my goals this year, but I hope to read more new stuff reguardless, 7) Actually use the tutorials and references I reblog Seeing as I barely did any digitial art this year, I can't say I did this one. 8) Do more art streams I think my goal was to stream once a month. I clearly didn't do this. I DID stream in 2017, I just didn't tell anyone. Idk why, I just... went live for people to see but didn't let anyone know I did. I also only streamed like... twice? sigh... So... out of the 8 goals I set, I would say I accomplished close to half. I read the dictionary, I finished my danish language course (which I'm counting as two completed goals) and combining the "read 1 new book a month" and "draw 100 pages in a sketch book" I'll count that as one completed goal. I went through all my ASL cards, though I'm not fluent, OH! I also wanted to pay off 6k loan that I had. I want to count this one as a success because I DID FUCKING PAY OVER 6 THOUSAND DOLLARS IN LOANS THIS YEAR. I got a surprise loan I had no idea about in june that was 1500 dollars, which threw me off. I managed to pay it off in 2 months, BUT IF THAT LOAN HAD NEVER EXISTED I TOTALLY WOULD HAVE FINISHED PAYING OFF THE 6K ONE. I've got a little over a thousand left to pay on the 6k loan now, which I will complete by the end of January. I'm so close to being under 10k in debt... GOALS FOR 2018 1)Go from being 5 figures in student loan debt down to 4 figures in debt (pay off 2 out of 4 loans) If everything goes according to Keikaku I'll achieve this by the end of June. This has to factor in things like updating my car registration in april, oil changes, tune ups, tire rotation, gas and food expenses, but as long as I don't get fired I should be fine! 2) Stretch Daily Not exercise. I never exercise. But it would be nice to increase my flexibility. 3) STOP TOUCHING YOUR GODDAMN FACE/ find an effective acne treatment I also want to try washing my face daily. Im fucking 25. I shouldn't have this many pimples. 4) Do another song comic I made A lyrictale for Undertale at the end of 2015 in ten days. I want to make another. I already have it scripted, now I just need to do it. 5) Do at least one art stream a month. Hey, maybe I can stream the next song comic I do. Sure, it'd spoil the song and story for everyone, but doesn't that sound fun? 6)Practice ASL I just started looking into Memrise and their ASL courses. They actually have A LOT, AND! THEY HAVE SIGN LANGUAGE COURSES FOR OTHER COUNTRIES! This year is gonna be fun. (Also, the only reason I want to learn ASL because of Undertale. I'll let you figure out how they are connected) 7) Sew 4 stuffed animals I started sewwing a Hobbes plush in the middle of last year. His body is finished. I just never did the head. The other three stuffed animals I want to make I will keep a secret because I love to keep people guessing. 8) Make two AMVs There are two songs I want to put to Avatar; The Last Airbender, and Avatar; The Legend of Korra. I have about half the footage... I just... need to rewatch the shows and put the clips together. Hey, maybe after I find all the clips I can do a stream of that as well. 9) Last but not least, finish my many, MANY Undertale Fan Fics. a. You Monster (34 out of 37 chapters are written, but only 29 are posted) b. Finish the "Of Two Minds" series (it's explicit don't look) c. Color Theory (A chasriel one shot) d. Something Left Behind (Terrible AU Idea #647) e. Let's Get Real (Self insert, joke, parody thing that will also be explicit) f. Game Day! (something about soccer games with Mettaton along the same vain as Field Trip!) g. Would You Like Fries With That (Nicepants because there's not enough of it in the world) h. Science Fair! (something with Undyne and school projects along the same vain as Field Trip!) i. One that is so horribly dark and fucked that I won't even describe it here. Welp! Those are my goals for 2018! What are your goals for 2018? Whatever they are, I wish you success and improvement, health and wealth! Stay safe this year! I love you all~

[griffinxwoods]

pose for me: clexa oneshot

Clarke is an art student taking a sketching course, but she’s having trouble drawing portraits for her assignment. She hangs up flyers around campus for a model and Lexa responds. 

disclaimer: sup kids, this is my first venture into fic writing, probably writing in general i guess. i’ve only ever written like 3 or 4 scripts for class so ,,,hope this is decent. i’m kinda used to just writing action and dialogue (in my small handful of works lol) as it happens so like backstory is weird to me idk. anyway, if it seems rushed and rough, it probably is. i definitely didn’t reread it! but uh, let me know what ya think i guess. maybe any tips, things i can change in my writing.  

______________________________

“Please stop.”

“Come on, he’s pretty hot.”

“He’s not.”

“Really great in bed, though.”

“Raven.”

“He did this one move the other night I’ve never done before and it felt amazing.”

“I swear to God, I will throw up on you.”

Clarke laughed at her friends’ antics as she sipped on her latte, not at all phased by the conversation taking place next to her. Raven released a laugh and sat back in her chair. Octavia just tried to keep her lunch from resurfacing.  

The three of them sat for lunch at the Ark Cafe, a hotspot on campus. Every Tuesday since the semester began, they’d meet here and catch up on anything they’d miss during the week. Granted they did all live together, seeing entirely too much of one another in ways you would never want to see your closest friends. But between going to class, homework, jobs, and a variety of other events, it’s difficult to really check in on each other. Therefore, weekly lunch dates at the Ark.

“Raven, ease up a bit,” Clarke says.

“Aw, why, come on. It’s fun seeing her squirm,” Raven grinned.

“I could go the rest of my life without hearing about my brothers sexual encounters and it would still be too soon,” Octavia shivered. She faced Clarke, ready to wipe the mental image of Raven and Bellamy doing, well, anything at this point really.

“So, moving on to a safer topic. How’s that assignment going, Griff?”

“It’s… real shit right now, thanks for asking.” She sighs.

Being an art major, Clarke liked to think she had some talent. Growing up, she always had some writing instrument in her hand, a brush, a crayon. She’d grab something to write with and drew on anything she could find. Sometimes that might just be the walls in her home. Her mother would be furious, but Jake, he never bothered much. Always encouraging Clarke to draw, to practice. So she did. And she got pretty damn good at it. One thing she couldn’t seem to fully grasp were portraits. So she decided to hone in on that part of her craft this past year. Currently in an advanced drawing course, one of her assignments was head shots.

Raven lowered her head and looked at Clarke through her lashes. She ran a finger up Clarke’s arm and said, “I’m always down to pose for you, Griff.”

“Tempting, but I’ll pass.”

“I’ll make it worth your while, ya know?” It came out huskier than she intended but Raven wasn’t one to back down from some good old teasing fun.

“Rae, you’ve posed for me before and, hate to break to you babe but, not really jonesing for round two any time soon.”

Octavia snapped her head towards Clarke, biting her lip to keep a smile from bursting, while Raven sat back and nursed her bruised ego.

“That was just uncalled for.” Raven whispered.

Clarke laughed and shook her head, looking down at her latte. “Seriously though, I’ve drawn you guys so many times it honestly does nothing for me creatively now.” Clarke wiggles in her chair, adjusting her position and sighs. “I don’t know, I think I need something new… fresh, maybe. I feel like I’m in a rut.” Clarke always felt a less confident about her skills in portraits.

Octavia and Raven both hummed knowingly. Raven snapped her fingers, bolted forward, Clarke’s sure she has a terrible idea on the tip of her tongue.

“I know!” Raven exclaimed, “You could post an ad for a model on Craigslist. A girl in my English Lit class did that once - don’t look at me like that - she’s fine! She needed a new roommate!”

Yup, definitely a bad idea.

“Yeah, fine,” Octavia huffed, using air quotes around ‘fine’. “She’s probably being held captive somehow without a way out. Next time you see her in class, ask her to blink twice if she needs help.” Raven rolled her eyes and sat back once again. She pushed up the sleeves of her red henley and snatched up her fork, stabbing her lunch.  

Clarke glared at Raven, “No way in hell, Rae, and you know that.”

Octavia watched Raven as she played with her pasta, “Why don’t you just, post a flyer on campus?” She turned to Clarke and took a sip of her water. “You’re bound to get a few chumps call you up to pose for you.”

Raven’s face lit up, “Griff, imagine the nude paintings you could do. The possibilities…”

Clarke let out a breathy laugh. Never one for letting an opportunity turn remotely sexual, Clarke was half expecting Raven to come to that conclusion for her. She knows Clarke would never ask a stranger to pose nude, but of course, it wouldn’t be Raven if she doesn’t at least suggest the idea.

“Thanks, Raven. I’ll throw in a nude just for you.” Clarke runs a hand through her hair and exhales a breathy laugh. She closes her eyes for a moment, thinking about it. “You know, O, I’ll do that. I mean, why the fuck not, right?”

Octavia and Raven cheered; Raven pumped her fists over her head, quietly chanting Clarke’s name.

Octavia looked to Clarke, leaned forward and spoke softly, “You know that you’re gonna do so good on this assignment, right Clarke? You’re incredible.”

Clarke gazed at Octavia fondly and grasped her hand on the table. She really did love her friends.

___________________________________

Aristotle, Plato, Kant, Bentham. Every single student sat in this classroom could not care less about these dead men and their supposed ideas. They fidgeted with their pens, shuffled in their seats, eager to run out of the room, out into the modern world filled with snapchat filters and ridiculous memes.

But the woman at the front of the classroom, walking from one end to the other while lecturing? This was her one of her favorite places. Commanding a room, discussing one of her favorite subjects in the world, engaging young minds (granted they’re probably just as old as she is). Here, she was comfortable. She was at ease, and she loved it.  

“Immanuel Kant’s most notable contribution to moral philosophy is the categorical imperative. I hope you all read up on it. The first formulation of the imperative, also considered the formulation of a universal law of nature, is ‘act only according to a maxim whereby you can, at the same time, will that it should become a universal law.’”

She paces the front of the room, hands clasped behind her back. Sleeves rolled up to her elbow of her otherwise pristine shirt, slim slacks and brown oxfords ironed and shined to perfection. Glasses perched up the bridge of her nose, the picture of professionalism. She surveyed the room. A handful of poor souls watched her as she spoke, mostly indifferent.

Lexa sighed and straightened herself at the center of the classroom. She leaned against her desk and brought her hands forward, crossing her arms across her chest. She decided to switch gears for a moment, hoping to revive her students and engage them in, really, anything.

“Okay, take the case of the murderer at the door.” A few students sat up straighter. One boy in the middle had his head down, resting on his extended arm on the desk. He rolled his head around and looked at Lexa, intrigued. She hitched an eyebrow up. Of course, it had to be murderers.

“Let’s say, for example, Max here,” Lexa pointed at the boy with his head rested sideways on his arm, “excused himself from the class to use the restroom. We all know where he went, right?”

Scattered nods around the room.

“We can assume he went down the hall, the closest restroom. After a few minutes, we hear a knock on the door.” Lexa walks to the side of the room, knocks on the door. “There’s a gentlemen behind the door asking where Max is.”

Lexa clears her throat and her voice booms. “'Hello, I’m looking for Max, I’ve come here to kill him. Do you know where he is?’” She’s turned to them, holds a hand up and forms a finger gun at Max.

Lexa glances around the room at her students. Some laughed at her antics, but thankfully, most of them were paying attention, thank God. Life has been reignited in her classroom.

“How many of you will lie and say that Max is actually in a classroom in a different building?” The boy in question has sat up a while ago, now looking around the room to see who would inevitably betray him, as if anyone in college is loyal to some kid they only see twice a week and never speak to. Most of those speaking agree, muttered yes’, not ratting out Max. He releases a breath, nodding. The class has allowed the kid to live another day, safe from Lexa’s finger gun.

Lexa purses her lips, nodding, crossing her arms. She chuckles, knowing the response she’ll receive, “Kant would argue that you all just did the wrong thing.“ 

An uproar among everyone, Max is now lamenting the hypothetical loss of his life because he just had to use the bathroom.

But how could that possibly be the wrong move? The entire classroom just saved Max’s sad life. He can go home and play Call of Duty in his underwear while shoveling Doritos and wiping the dust residue off his fingers on his chest, if the boy pleases. They did the right thing.

"Professor, that’s fucked,” was heard, a delinquent in the back of the classroom. Lexa internally groaned.

“Mind your language.” she said.

He sank back in his seat and crossed his arms. “There’s no way that can be the wrong answer to this. We probably saved his life so kudos to us,” he smirked.

“According to Kant, it’s wrong,” Lexa says, curt and final. She paces the front of the room again, “he believes if you know where Max is, you have to tell this man at the door that Max is, in fact, in the bathroom down the hall. Solely because lying is wrong. It’s always wrong, no matter the situation you’re put in.”

Lexa stops by her desk and glances at her watch. Five minutes to spare. Not bad. “Alright class, seems like a good place to end so that’s it for today. Please don’t forget your next test is soon. I hope you’re all well prepared by then. Have a good weekend.”

The students quickly pack up their bags and bolt out of the classroom. Lexa walks around her desk and begins packing her laptop and lecture notes into her leather messenger bag. A few students wave goodbye and throw small smiles at Lexa as they leave. Some of them blushing when Lexa returns the gesture.

A woman clad in black - black leather jacket, black ripped jeans, black combat boots, the only thing that isn’t black is the plain white shirt under the jacket - props herself against the doorway, watching as Lexa finishes gathering her things. Lexa drapes the bag over her and moves towards the door.

“You know, if I were you, I’d definitely take advantage of the amount of students fawning over you.”

Lexa gasped, her emerald eyes wide, “Anya,” she breathed, “that’s illegal - don’t say that so loud.”

Anya raised her arms in defense, “I’m just saying. There’s some pretty hot chicks in your class. I’m always here to encourage my little sister to get some action.”

“Thank you, Anya. Much appreciated. Will definitely take that under consideration. Wonderful to see you anyway,” Lexa rolled her eyes.

Anya smirked. She loved teasing her little sister. It was too easy.

“Alright so, where to, hotshot college professor?” Anya clapped her hands together.

“There’s a good place near campus, amazing tacos,” Lexa responded.

“Sold.”

The two sisters walked through campus. Anya was just relieved of the longest shift of her life at the station, and before heading back home, she decided to check on her little sister.

“Anything new and exciting happen within the last maybe 37 hours since I’ve seen you?” Anya asked.

Lexa sighed and adjusted her glasses slightly. “Not really. Class was alright today. I like my students when they actually participate in discussion. They’re smart, they just need a little push sometimes so I did the whole ‘murder at the door’ scenario.” Anya hummed and nodded, familiar with that story. “I got ‘em talking. But otherwise, you know, same old.”

“How about you switch it up from the usual same old to something, I don’t know, different?” Anya suggested. Lexa has been doing just about the same things for the past few years. She knows that going through what Lexa did was difficult - she wouldn’t wish it on anyone. But Anya just wants Lexa to enjoy herself, live a full life like she deserves.

“What do you mean, I have fun,” Lexa scoffed.

“Reading articles on the space program isn’t what most people consider to be fun, Lexa. Neither are documentaries”

“Sending people to Mars is so incredible. I mean can you imagine being able to step foot on a planet? The moon is one thing, but another planet?” Lexa said, arms waving around as she spoke. Once you get her going on anything space related, she can really run with it. “And lots of people watch documentaries, okay. It’s like in style now or whatever.”

“Yeah, that’s really cool, Lex. But I mean more along the lines of this crazy thing called socializing.” She chanced a look at her sister. Lexa sighed. “Going out. Meeting someone new, sharing a couple drinks and talking. It wouldn’t hurt you.”

As they walked past the campus cafe, Anya slowed, looking at the cafe’s storefront. A neon sign flashing above the door, letting the world know they’re open for business. A list of specials for the day, and a few flyers hung up by students. One of them is for math tutoring, triggering some flashbacks to high school pre-calc and Anya shivers. Math is an abomination and ultimately impossible to understand. Another flyer - an advertisement for a band playing near campus at a bar Anya frequents. She won’t attend that night, thank you flyer. The last one mentions needing a model to pose for an art student, a brief description of a meeting beforehand, along with a phone number.

Anya yanks Lexa back by her bags strap and points at the flyer, “Look, this person needs someone to pose for them for an art project. Why not start there? It seems like it’ll be a one on one meeting, and then they’ll draw you.”

Lexa huffs and crosses her arms. She doesn’t need this. “It’s fine, Anya. I’ve met people, I socialize.”

“Lexa, if you even think about telling me the people you socialize with are the teachers in your department, where you talk about old dead philosophers, I swear on my own grave that I will throw you onto the back of my bike, ride out of town to the highest cliff I could find and throw you off of it into the black depths of that valley.”

Lexa opened her mouth to refute that claim, but closed it and scrunched her face up instead.

Anya nodded, “Yeah, I thought so.” Lexa glanced down and shoved her hands in her pocket.

Anya stepped towards her, she spoke softly, “Look, just meet with them, feel it out, and if you’re really not into going forward with it then fine. But I just want to know that you tried. You left behind your comfort in your routine and you did something new and unexpected.”

Anya looked at Lexa, pleading, hoping Lexa would agree to at least meet her halfway on this one. Anya has tried repeatedly for Lexa to try something different. After the incident, she let Lexa heal, take as much time as she needed. But it’s been so long, and she’s worried Lexa’s going to stay stuck in this rut Lexa’s put herself in.

“Okay. Yeah, okay. Fine. I’ll call them. But if I’m not feelin’ it, I’m leaving.”

Anya’s smile was so wide it reached her ears. "Good. That’s all I ask.”

Lexa huffed and pulled her phone out of her back pocket. She took a picture of the flyer, deciding to call them later after lunch. A part of Lexa knew that Anya was right. She had a point, after all, it had been too long since Lexa genuinely did anything of her own volition. There’s no harm in trying new things, is there?

___________________________________________________________

The Brew is a quaint coffee shop on the edge of campus where most students pop in on their way to class. Not entirely too large, it housed a few couches for its customers to lounge on, some scattered tables and booths, a handful of paintings and photographs done by some of the students lined the walls while today’s hits played softly throughout the shop. The employees scattered around behind the counter, taking orders and preparing drinks. It was cozy.

Clarke walks in and heads up to the counter. She orders a small caramel frappucino, hands the barista a bill and picks up her drink at the other end of the counter once it’s been called out.

Clarke picks out a booth in the corner up front. She still has a few minutes to spare before meeting with her potential model. She shifts in the booth, fidgets with her drink and pulls out her phone to occupy herself. Clarke’s nervous about this chick. They spoke on the phone briefly, set up a meeting before Clarke makes a final decision. But the last thing she needs is to draw a student in her apartment and end up on the floor, gutted like a fish - although as normal as they probably seem here, that could very well still happen. Shit. Am I even sure this is a good idea? What if I just use Instagram models as reference instead? Could that work?

Just as Clarke was pulling up Raven’s contact, the door to the Brew chimed open. Clarke looked up as a woman walked into the coffee shop and her jaw dropped. Donned in brown chelsea boots, ripped jeans, a leather jacket over a dark blue button up, wearing a pair of Ray-Ban glasses with frameless bottoms, the woman took a moment to look around and Clarke held her breath. She’s praying this is the girl she’s set up a meeting with.

The woman spots Clarke in her booth, tilts her head to the side like a puppy and strides over to her hastily. It seems like this woman’s out of breath.

“You’re the art student, right?” Clarke nods.

Lexa sighs in relief and drops down in front of Clarke, situating herself in the booth.

“I’m so sorry, I hope I made it on time. I don’t even know honestly, I just bolted from my classroom over here. I got a little held up by a student who -”

“Wait, you’re a teacher?”

“TA actually,” Lexa beamed. “I’m the TA for Professor Gonzalez - ethics and critical thinking. He lectures for the most part and I jump in half the time, when needed, but I definitely grade everything.”

Clarke was impressed. This woman looked about her age, and she’s teaching ethics to her peers? Honestly, that’s hot.

“That’s amazing,” Clarke sighed.

“It’s pretty rewarding. Nothing as amazing as being an artist, though.”

Clarke blushes and waves her off, “Please. I’d barely call myself an artist. That’s a long shot. A pipe dream, really,” Clarke says wistfully.

Lexa’s features soften, gazing at Clarke warmly, her emerald gaze locked onto Clarke’s cerulean eyes. They’ve literally only been in each other’s presence for all of six minutes and all Lexa wants to do is wipe clean any doubt from Clarke and make her believe she can be the greatest artist of their time.

“I haven’t seen any of your work but I’m sure it’s nothing short of phenomenal,” Lexa assured. She got so caught up just having a casual conversation with this stranger, she completely forgot the sole purpose for their meeting.

Clarke smiled and fiddled with the sleeve on her drink. She makes a mental note to thank her friends for pushing her into doing this.

“Speaking of, we should probably talk about what I’ll be doing. Probably where, too,” Lexa said.

Clarke’s eyebrows lift up in surprise and she smirks, “You’re awfully confident that you’d be my model. And that I’d take you anywhere, in fact.” A little savage, Clarke.

It was Lexa’s turn to blush. “I didn’t - I mean, I don’t want to presume anything. You didn’t - the flyer didn’t really have any specifics and I just want to know what I’m in for. I - that is, if I’m -” Lexa rambles, hands waving around as she talks. Completely avoiding eye contact with Clarke.

Clarke lets out a deep laugh and sits back. Arms outstretched on the table, hands cupping her drink still, amused at how quickly she was able to fluster Lexa.

“Don’t worry, you’re fine. I’ve heard way worse from this,” a wry smile on her face.

“Well, now I’ve gotta know what you’ve been told,” Lexa leaned forward, arms resting on the table.

“I’ll save you the specifics but I’ve had a few guys call to ask if this was a nude model position, and whether or not I’d join afterwards.”

Lexa laughed, “Oh Lord, gotta love college boys.”

“I really should’ve expected it, honestly,” Clarke quipped.

“Yeah, definitely part of why men aren’t really in my wheelhouse,” she looked down and shook her head, amused. It took Lexa a moment to realize exactly what she said, and when she did, she looked like a deer caught in headlights.

Clarke perked up at that, leaning forward again and grinned. Oh, if she didn’t want to ask this girl out before, she definitely did now that she can guess she has a chance. Wait, that’s not what we’re here for. Focus, Griff.

“Agreed.” Lexa smiled wryly. “But, anyway, back on topic,” Clarke narrowed her eyes at Lexa, “the model thing.”

“Yeah, alright, yes, of course. So, what exactly are you looking for?” Lexa cleared her throat, and sighed deeply, relieved to be on a safe topic for a moment. She’s never revealed any kind of information about herself so quickly to a stranger before. She’s not used to fumbling with her words. She’s definitely not used to any blushing around a girl. It’s a little unnerving for Lexa.

“It’s pretty simple, I’d hope,” Clarke said. “Here’s the whole situation, really. I have this assignment for one of my art classes where I need to draw a portrait of someone. Not my strong suit honestly, and I’ve drawn my friends so many times I’ve, kind of, gotten used to it? I guess.” She sighs, exasperated at the thought.

Lexa nods, listening intently. “Anyway, I just need someone to sit still for a while, couple hours maybe. Hopefully gather up some fresh inspiration.” Clarke cringed, “that sounds really boring for you, I’m sorry. I didn’t totally think that through but I promise to keep you entertained.”

“Oh, so I’ve got the job then, huh?” Lexa teased.

Clarke rolled her eyes playfully, “Yeah, well, it was a tough one - came down to you or some frat guy who’d, undoubtedly, try to feel me up at some point. So you’re a decent choice, I guess.”

“Glad to know I’m at the same high standards as some fuckboy,” Lexa joked.

Clarke gasped, “What kind of language is that from a college professor, ma’am?” She placed one hand over her chest, faux appalled, the other rested on Lexa’s forearm.

“I’m a cool professor, don’t you know?” Lexa shot back. She was hyper aware of Clarke’s touch, making her stomach flutter. Oh, fuck.

Clarke smiled brightly at her, “Alright hotshot, whatever helps you sleep at night.” She had the urge to rub Lexa’s arm gently, but let go before her body decided on it’s own.

Lexa already missed Clarke’s touch, her arm tingling where her hand has been, craving the warmth, wanting to know how it’d feel to slip her hand into Clarke’s. She shook the thought away.

“Are you free for today?” Clarke asked. Blue eyes gazing into deep green.

“I have absolutely nothing else planned, so, yeah. I’m free,” Lexa responded, barely above a whisper.

“My apartment’s not too far from here so, uh, we can go back there and I can get started, if you don’t mind? If it’s okay with you for today, I mean.” Clarke’s lips twitched up in a hopeful smile.

“Yeah, of course. I’d love to.” Lexa murmured.

Clarke beamed. The two gathered their belongings and headed out. Both of them a bundle of nerves. Stealing glances at each other as they walked down the street, hearts fluttering, yet trying to ignore it.

______________________________________________________

The walk to Clarke’s apartment was fairly quick. The two talked about silly things along the way; Clarke told Lexa about her favorite bands, Lexa told her about being on the soccer team in high school. They got to Clarke’s building and lead the way up the stairs to her apartment.

They reached the third floor and Clarke stopped in front of one of the apartments. 3C in large, faded gold on the outside of her door. Lexa shoves her hands in her pockets as Clarke unlocks the door and steps inside.

“It might be a mess in here, I share it with my two best friends so I never know how it’s gonna look sometimes,” Clarke chuckled. She placed her keys on the table next to the door and placed her bag on the couch.

Lexa still stood in the doorway, hands in her pockets, rocking back and forth on her heels.

Clarke glances over her shoulder at Lexa, looking nervous as her eyes dart around the room. “Do you need an invitation inside, like a vampire? You can come in, Lexa,” Clarke teases.

Lexa shakes her head and steps inside, smiling at how her name sounds rolling off Clarke’s tongue. Smooth and soft, like Clarke is the only one meant to say it. 

“I am, actually,” Lexa places her bag on the counter and starts taking off her jacket. “So, thank you for the unlimited access to your apartment so I can suck your neck to live.”

Clarke snorted and watches as Lexa hangs her jacket on the highchair in the kitchen, blissfully unaware of what she just said. As soon as hit her, Lexa stopped cold in her tracks, ears burning, eyes wide.

“I didn’t - I was just - I mean, vampires do drink blood and they - they bite necks so -” Lexa rambled, hands flying as she spoke.

Clarke pressed her lips together, trying to hold back a laugh as she watched Lexa stumble. Lexa seems so easy to fluster, and that’s just too adorable. I wouldn’t mind if she did, honestly.

“Before we really go into vampire mythology, how I set up my supplies and you can make yourself at home in the meantime?” Clarke asked.

“Yeah! Yes, no problem,” Lexa clapped her hands together. “I’ll just, uh, be over here.” She hooked her thumb over her shoulder at the living room and nodded. Clarke giggled to herself and walked over to the corner of her living room where she had some art supplies laying around. Lexa clasped her hands behind her back and looked around the room.

The apartment’s fairly small, quaint but comfortable. An island counter in the kitchen, a few schedules stuck up on the fridge, a sectional couch in the living room along with a recliner both facing a coffee table and a flat screen. The floors were hardwood, the wall behind the television was red brick, photos scattered around. There was a gym bag thrown in one corner, some scrap metal on the coffee table. She looked over at Clarke’s little art corner, sketchbooks stacked in a small pile, a box of pencils, an easel pushed against the wall next to a window. Lexa loved it. It felt full of life and love. It felt like home.

Lexa walks over to a collage of photos on the wall, examining most of them, really just the ones with Clarke. Clarke and a group of friends drinking at a party, Clarke with two brunettes dressed up as supervillains for Halloween, Clarke getting a piggyback ride from an older man with similar stunning blue eyes. That photo’s a bit bigger than the rest of them.

Clarke snatches one of her larger sketchbooks and finally grabs a pack of graphite pencils when she notices Lexa. She inhales a deep breath and strides over, stands next to Lexa.

“That’s my dad,” Clarke says, barely above a whisper. Lexa chances a glance at Clarke, whose eyes are trained on the photo in question. Lexa’s all too familiar with the look in Clarke’s eyes. She turns back to the photo as well.

“A striking resemblance.”

“I got my good looks from him, I’ll give ‘em that much.”

“Eh, you’re alright, I guess.”

“I’ll have you know I won a beauty pageant once because of those good looks.” 

Lexa chuckles, “Oh, yeah?”

Clarke smiles and turns to look at Lexa, “Okay, I was like six. Either way, it was a beauty pageant so…”

“So, the age kind of invalidates it, don’t ya think?” Lexa teased. She turns her body towards Clarke, smirking. Her emerald gaze meeting Clarke’s deep cerulean. Clarke’s smile is threatening to spill as she holds Lexa’s gaze. Lexa’s never felt so at ease with someone else, so quickly, before. Her eyes dart down to Clarke’s pink lips and licks her own. Her heart’s racing. Calm down, you gay mess.

Clarke watches as Lexa’s eyes dart down for a moment, just a second, and she locks eyes with Lexa again. A heat pools down in Clarke’s belly as she looks at Lexa’s plump lips. Clarke looks back up at Lexa. Both of them wrapped in the rising intensity of the moment. Neither of them wanting to move from here.

Clarke huffs and closes her eyes for a moment, “Anyway!” she exclaims. She walks around Lexa and waves her arm in direction of the couch. “Pick anywhere. Make yourself comfy. It won’t take entirely too long but, still, sit.”

Lexa takes a deep breath and closes her eyes, tilts her head back to look up. She presses her lips together, licks them, and nods to herself. I’m already so fucking screwed.

She turns and walks over to Clarke, clears her throat, “He was a handsome guy. You have his eyes.”

A shy, bashful smile on Clarke’s face. She loves being told all the things she has in common with her father, physical or otherwise. He was her favorite person, her confidant, her partner in crime. And she really misses him.

“Thank you,” she said softly.

“What was he like?” Lexa was hesitant, but she wanted to know as much about this girl as she could get. “I mean, if you’re okay with that”

Clarke nods, “Yeah, no, it’s fine. It was a while ago so I’ve worked through it,” she chuckles. She looks up at Lexa, sees her smiling sweetly. She looks down at her blank sketchbook. She should probably start on that.

“Try not to move too much, by the way.” Lexa nodded, sat back and crossed one leg over the other, her attention completely on Clarke.

She starts sketching Lexa’s face as she speaks, “Well, my dad… he has my best friend. I mean, I love both my parents - my mom’s great too, we just… fight more often. I guess.” A beat. “But my dad was the peacekeeper. Definitely my biggest fan in every way,” she laughs. “I don’t know how long it took me to understand you can’t draw on the walls at home and paper is a perfectly acceptable option but, he never got angry, even though Mom did. He always backed me up.”

Clarke absentmindedly sketched while she spoke. An outline of Lexa’s face, her beautiful curls, her blue button-up. She chanced a look at Lexa through her lashes. Lexa’s expression is as soft as ever, her eyes glossy and understanding. Clarke can tell she gets it. She hates that this is something they have in common; a loss.

The two lock eyes and Lexa inhales, “He sounds like an amazing father.”

Clarke smiles sadly and responds, “Yeah. He was.” They hold each others gaze briefly, and Clarke looks back down to continue her work.

“I lost someone special to me, too,” Lexa sighs. “Her name was Costia.”

Blue meets green again, Clarke feels so much for this complete stranger, it’s scary. The moment’s briefly intense, the silence a little thick.

“Long story short, she was in a car accident. It was pretty late, some guy had too much to drink, ran a red light,” Lexa fiddled with the hem of her shirt and shrugged. “You know the rest.”

“Lexa, that’s… terrible,” Clarke says.

“Yeah.” She folds into herself for a moment, rubs her hands over her thighs repeatedly, ready to switch gears. It’s been a few years but, every time she thinks about it, it aches a little more.

“Anyway, that got dark,” Lexa laughs an empty laugh, attempting to change the subject. “I uh - wanna hear about this one time in high school, I was on the soccer team and I wrongly got detention for a week because I accidentally hit my coach in the face with a soccer ball?”

Clarke bursts out laughing, “Oh my god, how did that happen?”

Lexa smiles, she tells Clarke all about her rivalry with one of her teammates, Ontari, how everything was made into a competition, how they ended up liking the same girl and their little competition spiraled and Lexa claims she was framed for the missed shot that smacked their coach in the face. To this day, she wholeheartedly believes she was set up. Clarke couldn’t stop smiling at Lexa, stealing glances at her, away from her sketch, as often as she could. She was just about finished but Clarke tried to take as much time as possible on it.

“Lexa, I’m sure you weren’t framed,” Clarke teased.

“I was! Clarke,” Lexa leans forward, serious as ever, hands clasped together, “That girl is satan reincarnate. She, no doubt in my mind, framed me.”

Clarke shook her head at Lexa’s antics. “Okay, okay. I’ll take your word for it. I had something similar happen in high school. Well, gym class, at least.”

“Ooh, an embarrassing story, is it? I’m intrigued.”

“Relax, nerd. I just witnessed it, it wasn’t me. Trust me, I barely participated in any sport, besides volleyball.”

“Volleyball? Oh man, wish I could’ve seen that.”

“Why’s that?” Clarke looks up from her sketchbook.

“You probably looked really good serving up shots during games.” Lexa smirked. Part of her can’t believe she just let that slip, but the more she talked to Clarke, she figured, why not? Anya pushed her into doing something new and it led her to a beautiful, amazing girl. If that’s not some cosmic sign then, Lexa doesn’t know what is.

Clarke’s cheeks turned bright red. She wasn’t expecting that.

“So, how’s the sketch coming? How terrible are you making me look?” Lexa asked.

Clarke huffed, “Are you saying I’m a bad artist?”

“No. I’m probably just a bad model,” Lexa replied amused.

Clarke scoffed, “How can you be bad at sitting still?”

Lexa rolled her eyes, “Just - can I see it?” she asked gently.

Clarke rose and walked over to Lexa, who stood as well. Clarke bit her lip hesitantly and shoved her sketchbook in Lexa’s hands.

“It’s probably really rough and definitely not my best work, so i’m just apologizing in advance and -” Clarke stopped rambling when she saw Lexa running her finger over the sketch. She was speechless. The slope of her nose, the hard lines of her jaw, the absolute softness and light in her eyes, her full smile and wild hair. She looks full of life. She looks beautiful in a way that Lexa’s never seen herself as. And she’s speechless.

“Clarke,” she whispered, “this is amazing. You’re so talented.” Lexa breathed.

Clarke smiled bashfully, heart beating wildly at the compliment. She can tell Lexa means it and it makes her heart soar.

Lexa clears her throat and hands Clarke the sketchbook. Clarke closes it, places it on the coffee table.

“I should uh, get going. Professor Gonzalez got called up for jury duty this week so I should probably go over the lecture for next class,” Lexa said as she gathered her things.

Clarke rung her hands together and nodded, “Yeah, of course, no worries. I’ll walk you out.”

Lexa pulled her jacket on and slung her bag over her shoulder. They walked together to the door of Clarke’s apartment.

“Thank you so much for doing this, Lexa. It was a huge help,” Clarke said.

“Of course. Let me know how the assignment turns out, yeah?” Lexa asked, hopefully.

“Definitely,” Clarke responded. She knows her eyes are blown and she can tell Lexa’s are too. They stand by the door, Clarke rocking on her feet and Lexa fiddling with her bag strap.

“Fuck it,” Lexa sighs.

Lexa reaches up, grabs the back of Clarke’s neck and kisses her. Clarke’s a little surprised, but she quickly melts right into the kiss. It’s soft, Lexa’s lips are soft and full. And Clarke’s lips taste like her lip gloss, strawberry flavored. Lexa’s lips parts beneath Clarke’s and the softness is gone. At the feel of Clarke’s tongue, Lexa releases a pleased sound, deep in her throat, and it leaves Clarke wanting to make Lexa do that again, wanting more.

Clarke digs her hands into Lexa’s jacket and Lexa cups her hands over Clarke’s cheeks, a thumb brushing over the curve of her jaw as Clarke’s tongue presses against Lexa. This time, it’s Clarke who groans.

Lexa comes up for air, moves back slowly, eyes still closed. She rubs her nose against Clarke’s and sighs.

Clarke’s eyes are still closed, too, and she smirks, “Been wanting to do that since I saw you walk through the cafe.”

Lexa laughs, “Wanna keep doing that, maybe, over dinner this Friday?”

“I’d love to, hotshot.”