#i shouldnt think after 1am

[a-preferable-alternative]

Its 2am and I want someone to think abt me :(

[idontshitpostbuttheolympicpark]

hang on a second...

wait...

Antonelli isn't just younger than Fernando's career, he's younger than his first world championship. In fact he's only younger than his second by just under 2 months.

and Bearman is only 4 months younger.

[m0e-ru]

one million thousand spoilers not complete nor comprehensive 1am au diagram from yours truly !!!! i will um. try to put more context below for the love of gods im so tired now

Why Nami?: Like an official name. Mimi was always my own nickname for them!

Izy (Izanami-no-Mikoto): technically an oc. My interpretation of who and what Marie and Nami were before they split from the same whole. "Izy" is a nickname i have for her lol

Kagutsuchi (Izanami-no-Okami); Why's he labeled like this? What suicidal tendencies?: Also interpretation of mine of his origin and how I try to make it more cohesive for this AU. Nami had already separated themself from their past personality (Izy) and was now wondering who or what they were at that point. As they struggled to define their godly and mortal identities, a new entity was subsequently being split from a godly whole once again. Nami managed to truly separate a godly self and their true self from each other, and now independent, it called itself Izanami-no-Okami. With "Myriad Truths," Izanami-no-Okami was defeated. Yet, the remnant not expunged by truths and now powered by the desire of solitude came to be "Hi-no-Kagutsushi."

mim also had a Marie moment where they thought if they destroyed themself everything in Inaba would be fine again, because they think theyre the problem (and one thousand other things). Kagu was also a continuation of this desire from them and promised to end their ass (yknow. like the myth). FURTHER. extending this. mim is also pretty selfless and when theres an option to sacrifice themself as an individual for the good of many they'll run towards that direction as fast as possible. making them awfully selfish in a way because others do want their ass alive.

Izy and Sho and Minazuki?: Kind of like a baby animal imprinting on the first thing they see. They met her after waking up from their coma, and with her maternal nature, she took them under her care. When she "split," to which essentially was her death, Sho bore a grudge towards her offspring, that employee thing and the punk girl walking around, after being able to recognize her scent. While Minazuki himself understands that this shouldnt be tunnel visioned, he assists Sho in finding a way to "put her back together," which leads them to make a deal with Kagutsuchi.

Kirijo related; Kurogamis: From the light novel spinoff Persona X Detective Naoto. During the events of PXDN, Nami gives errands to Sho and Kagu to simultaneously investigate Yagokoro about the "Midnight Site" and watch over Naoto Shirogane. They report back about the lack of a deity nor an unstable collective unconscious, yet they mention a secret Kirijo model android who, along with Naoto, can summon the power of Persona within the human world itself. Nami is particularly happy to hear how Naoto has matured with their new Persona they have awakened to.

Deity Rehabilitation Initiative (DRI) (IM WORKING ON A TITLE OKAY): After Nami's personal experience of godhood and wanting to protect mortals before they give birth to an otherworldly power they may not be able to control in the coming days after its birth, they begin their own initiative to travel around the world (Japan, at least) and meet deities fallen from power to help them see the beauty of life itself, hopefully letting them continue to exist and occupy their biological collective's unconscious before these gods die and newborn heartless entities come to existence.

Mira (Mikuratana-no-Kami): The second helped by the DRI (first was kagu lol i think). Was picked up after the defeat by the Kizuna Dancers. Is now back as a guardian for the city it was born from, also working as costume designer and prodigy talent among Takura Productions, and is close with the girls of Kanamin Kitchen.

Yaldabaoth: Was recovered in the middle of the False Reality, later made to apologize to Lavenza within the Velvet Room and is now under Kurusu's care (i havent decided which name i want for pego actually). Acts as some sort of guardian as he shapeshifts into different mechanical instruments for Akira to be able to pocket.

Azathoth: Parasitic deity assumed to be born mostly out of Takuto Maruki's individual will. The most problematic out of the bunch. Many have formed grudges around it (and Maruki) from its actions taken during the False Reality epidemic: trespassing collective unconscious borders and trying to influence them forcefully, putting many guardian deties at risk of possession, sickness, or even death.

Ema (EMMA, Demiurge): God born from avid users of the AI EMMA, as instructed by Kuon Ichinose. After being defeated by the Phantom Thieves, she was saved to go live a life to help humans. She would be able to meet her sister again and share her own definition of what it means to help humans, finally free of resorting to the "optimal solution." She is made to stay in Inaba, a collective that lacked influence from herself when she was once an AI. Often confused for being related to Sho.

Zen (Chronos formerly): Once a good friend to Izanami-no-Mikoto. She herself did not remember much about him, but he remembered a lot of what she taught him. He guides Marie to her memories, cautioning her still, yet providing the help he can. He is not able to reunite with Nami, but they are well aware he has moved on happily.

Nagi (Enlil): The most cooperative of those assisted by the DRI. She is able to share experiences and sentiments with Nami and other deities. She has her own wishes to find Hikari and be able to see her in the eye. She is now a real movie theatre curator based in Japan during the 20XX timeline and shows Hikari's and many other independent works. She feels rather unsatisfied with the relationship she has with Nami, as they see her as their late mother (AWKWARD)

[mydisneymoment]

on june 1, the love of my life was diagnosed with acute promyelocytic leukemia cancer. but believe it or not- it was a relief to find out. lemme rewind a bit, on may 20th, he showed me some crazy big bruises and his gums were bleeding continously after he flossed. we decided to give it a week and see if the bruises would naturally go away- at this point i didnt really think anything of it, he's a biker and hella active so i thought that he may have gotten the bruises from biking and maybe didnt realize. the gums were weird but again- i didnt think too much of it. a week later, a few more bruises popped up and earlier in the week he had told me this walking heart rate had gotten up to like 150.. which was quite alarming cos like i said, this guys an athlete. i told him he should make an appointment asap and he said the next appointment was in august. he had done some research and he thought it was his liver, panic started to settle in but it was my sisters grad weekend so i knew we'd be seeing family who are in healthcare. regardless, i told him that he shouldnt drink this weekend and til we knew what was up. we shared what he was experiencing with close family and friends and they're expressions had us really worried. after his cousins bday dinner, we went to the ER the evening of may 28. the er was filled will bottle rock attendees and that was a time in itself. we got in at 9pm and didnt get seen til 1am. they checked his blood and the results were crazy low. we got checked into the er, they took some more blood and then after waiting a couple hours were notified that those numbers were critical and he was being checked into the hospital. the next day he received two blood transfusions and a bone marrow biopsy. the day after was a ct scan and we were just sitting ducks waiting for the bone marrow results. on the morning of wednesday may 31st, we found out it was leukemia. now we were informed that our local hospital didnt have the right specialists for his disease and that we would be transferring to ucsf that evening and we were checked in that night. at queen we were told that it was forsure apl so naturally i was in shock and another wave of fear hit when we got to ucsf when the nurse told me that they were running tests to see if it was apl or aml. my world started spinning again but i tried to hold my composure and stay strong for my guy. naturally- i took a walk for "water" and broke down in the hallway. note- i actually brought our water cups out and asked one of the nurses to give it directly to me- but she freakin dropped them in the room!! those were my cover girl cant you see im fucked up lol. they took 13 blood vials from him and gave him a potassium transfusion- the first time i heard him in pain. pain immediately enveloped me, to see my guy hurting. i did my best to massage him and distract him from the pain. when the nurse came in to change out the bag- i had completely lost it and told her it was hurting him, she was able to slow the drip down and it was better. safe to say no sleep was had that night. when we woke up- they had given him a full body ekg where we saw his heart and liver, he opted for a pick line that connected straight to his chest so they could directly connect the ivs and take blood from that instead of them picking him with a new needle everytime. he got another bone marrow biopsy- they wanted to do their own research- i was able to sit in n watch and after they confirmed to me that it was apl and then his main doctor came in that day as well and confirmed his diagnosis, gave the game plan and set the ground rules. i wasnt in the room during this time but his parents were and recorded a video of the doctors for me. the three of us were in the family room together where i plugged in and listened to the diagnosis. i didnt really have time to breathe before his dad started game planning. i had a full blown panic attack and could not think and the self doubt settled in. looking back on june 1st, it feels like it was a whole week in one day.

[birdsong-warriors]

Just a tired old man. <33 Though they don't seem like much, these are the closest photos I've ever taken of Cloud! He was less then six inches from my hands, and even closed his eyes to them! This is a significant sign of trust for him.

[akaashisbabygirl]

the sweet smell of old books

pairings: akaashi keiji x female!reader

warnings: NSFW (18+) vaginal penetration, riding, somewhat guided mastication, oral (male receiving)

a/n: i’ve been spending my time binging moriarty lately when i haven’t had anything to do. and one of the things that’s happened to me is that i fell absolutely in love with louis. i get major louis vibes whenever i see libraries and manors which is the reason why this fic came to me :) so i tried to write one. i really hope you enjoy. it has been such a pleasure to write this. please let me know what you think<3

reblogs and likes are highly appreciated !!

keiji’s fingers slowly turned the page of the book. since picking up a random book that sat on the shelves, one that looked appealing to him, he couldn’t get his mind off of it. and before he knew it, the sun had gone down, letting time pass by until the early hours of the morning.

the time stood at about sometime near 1am. keiji was just so lost in this book that nothing else mattered to him anymore. sleep wasn’t important, food wasn’t important, all he cared about was finding out what happens next in this novel.

his back was facing the large window which elicited enough moonlight for him to see the old tan pages of the novel quite clearly. his body faced the large brown, chocolate coloured doors which led to one of the large entertainment rooms of the manor.

this home was passed on to keiji from a deceased family family. soon after, keiji called you, his loving wife in with him, and the two of you were to call this manor home. it was a large estate, several ponds and trees, room and all. keiji’s favourite part about the manor was the large library, the one where he would stay in all day and never come out of unless you, his loving wife had called him for something, such as food or bed, or even simply just wanting to be around him. he became determined to finish every single one of the books in the library, only so that when it was his final days, he could pass the home over to his future child and they could make it their goal to finish every book in the manor’s library.

another one of keiji’s favourite parts about the manors library was the large window which elicited moonlight every single night. the glass produced such a soft, loving and warm blue colour which filled up the room. he loved it.

the moonlight continued to elicit the room at this time of night. keiji heard the sound of doors creaking open. his head slowly moved up to watch the doors to the library open wide. your small figure walked in. body wrapped with a thin layer of silk blanket which you wrapped around your shoulders. under that, you were completely naked.

you slowly shut the door behind you, a smile lighting up your face as keiji folded the corner of the page, setting the book down on the table beside him. he welcomed you with open arms as you made your way to sit on his lap, blanket hiding you most intimate parts.

“what are you doing still awake, darling? shouldnt you be in bed by now?” he asked softly, warm fingertips grazing your cheek softly.

“i was waiting for you to come to bed,” you responded softly.

“sweetheart, you know that when i read these books i cannot control myself. you need some rest.”

“darling, i want to be with you,” you pouted softly, hands holding at keiji’s suit blazer, “i want to stay here with you.”

the silk cloth began to fall from your body, revealing your naked body to your husband. his fingers only toyed with the ends of the silk, pulling you closer to him as you moved to straddle his lap.

“darling, we’re you planning on sleeping naked tonight?” he asked so causally.

“the weather is too warm, my love. i felt too hot in my pyjama dress.”

you could feel the small tent growing in keiji’s pants. slowly, you moved your hips back and forth, rubbing your growing wetness on his crotch. keiji knew what you were doing - he knew how wet you were getting from these simple movements.

“oh dear, you’re going to make a mess of my pants. why don’t you be a good girl and remove my clothes for me?”

you nodded. getting off keiji’s lap, your eager hands moved his blazer from his body. you secretly hated how these many layers of clothing hid keiji’s perfect figure from your beautiful eyes, yet you understood that being a rich man, keiji had to dress the part too.

you practically ripped open keiji’s white shirt, revealing his tone chest. slowly, your hands made their way down to his belt, removing the brown band and tugging his pants down his legs, his boxers following suit. his hard cock was now in eye level with your mouth.

keiji smiled, “go ahead sweetheart, take me into that pretty mouth of yours. i want to see your pretty pink lips around my cock.”

you nodded your head, placing a soft kiss on the tip of keiji’s cock. slowly, you took a little bit of him into your mouth, taking only a few inches at a time. keiji’s hand moved to rest in your delicate, soft hair. the hair he loves to pull from time to time. he watched as you bobbed your head up and down, pretty mouth sliding up and down his shaft. groans mixed with his moans elicited from keiji’s mouth as he watched the sinful sight that sat quietly in front of him. he watched how your small hands went to pump whatever you couldn’t fit into your mouth. his breath became shaky, but he didn’t want to cum inside your mouth.

“play with that pretty clit of yours for me,” keiji mumbled.

he watched as one of your hands snaked down to in between your legs, fingers finding your clit almost instantly. your soft, cold fingertips ran circles on your hardened bud, letting out soft moans around keiji’s cock.

he watched in adoration as you played with your clit, your hips grinding into the wooden floorboards below.

slowly, keiji held onto your shoulders, pulling you away from his cock. you looked up at him with such adoration in your eyes, bearing that soft innocent look which you always made whenever you were desperate for him to fill you up.

“come sit back on my lap again, love.”

you followed his orders, your pussy entrance lining up with his erect cock. keiji held his hands on your hips, slowly guiding you down onto his cock. he watched as you took him fully, hands wrapping around his neck, head resting on his shoulders as he began to guide you up and down his length.

he was so big - you swear you could feel him in your stomach. keiji was so desperate to fill you up with his seed, get you pregnant, fuck a baby into you. he wanted a mini you and him, and more, eventually to have several other children that could take on the akaashi family name.

his hands on your hips dug into your skin. moans and pleads fell from your lips as your eyes rolled to the back of your head. you were so lost in the pleasure of feeling keiji fill you up, fucking you in his favourite room of the manor where the moonlight lights up the room with an blue colour thanks to the large window which had a sweet view of the garden.

you love every moment with keiji - you love him. everything about him you love, everything. all his flaws and imperfections. you hated people who couldn’t see the true value of your love for him - the fact that you loved his soul and didn’t want to be with him just for the money. you wanted him and him only. and keiji felt the same way about you.

he felt your pussy clamp down tightly on his cock, a smirk appearing on his loving face, “are you going to cum dear? cum all over my cock.”

and you did - with every thrust, you climaxed around his cock. keiji kept fucking you whilst chasing his own climax. his seed poured into you. his chest heaved up and down with every breath, a smile decorating both your faces as you fell into keiji’s embrace.

he chuckled, pulling himself out of you before scooping you up in his arms, “come now darling, let’s get you to bed.”

© all content belongs to akaashisbabygirl 2021, do not repost or change

[littlx-songbxrd]

43: What is the DND alignment?

50: How does your sleep at night? Are they a heavy or light sleeper? Do they dream or have nightmares? Do they find it easy to sleep or are they more a night owl?

For the ocs ask game?

Im not sure about all these and im not actually sure cause i googled it 10 minutes ago but

43.

Callie: chaotic good

Elizabeth: true neutral

Manuel: Lawful good

Aishah: neutral good

Nairne: chaotic neutral

50.

Callie: JAJAJAJA HAS NOT HAD A GOODNIGHTS SLEEP IN YEARS. I dont think she even believes it possible that she can sleep correctly. She dreams, a lot, hasnt been able to fall asleep without dreaming since she was a kid. Callie doesnt recall ever not going to sleep without seeing some kind of very vivid dream, almost as if it were a memory. Some are nice, some are horrifying and have made her not wanna close her eyes for weeks. But the point is Callie doesnt sleep, she rest dreaming. Shes a heavy sleeper only because its hard to pull her out of dreams. Night owl because of this. Has been extremly sleep deprived the past few months get her a sleeping schedule pls.

Eliza: Shes a book nerd, she invented staying up late with a good book and a flashlight so your parents dont notice you were reading at late hours. Doesnt go to the extremes if shes tired, mostly will go to sleep around 11:00-12:00am. Will never go past 12:00am unless shes like, doing smth important. A resonable person when it comes to sleeping decisions, wakes up at an appropriate hour. Has she pulled all nighters? Sure, but its not a constant thing. She used to be a decent sleeper but after a certain event, very light sleeper. You can wake her up and shes able to keep going in less than a second. Its almost magic. Rarely dreams, hasnt had an actual dream in years. Althought nightmares are another case entirely

Manuel: you can text him at 1am and he is gonna reply, you can text him at 5am and he will reply. Is he just waking up? Is he just going asleep now??? No one knows. Emmanuel is a magical being. His sleeping schedule varies between the day. There are moments he stays awake for 48 hours and then collapses and sleeps for an entire day. 8 hours of sleep?? Nah he either sleep 2 or 24 NOTHING in between. Hes extremly productive during those hours thought I'll give it to him. Doesnt have a sleep schedule, his sister scolds him for it while staying up with him. Running on café yaucono and a lot of unhinged energy he shouldnt be having at 6 in the fucking morning. The time he sleeps hes a heavy sleeper, there is NO waking him up. Also doesmt have many dreams or nightmared in general unless hes really stressed

He just *sleeps*

Also snores

A lot

Aishah: the only resonable human here, she needs her sleep. Aishahs buisness hours run from 9am-10pm anything after that you have to solve on your own she is gonna go rest and have a good nights sleep. Latest shes up at would be 11pm, she values herself and her rest. Wouldnt call her a light sleeper, but definetly not a heavy sleeper. If smth were to happen shed be easy enough to wake up and get in relative action. The reason she goes to sleep so early is cause she likes waking up early, so many people value the night its become much to crowded, but the mornings are hers alone. Most people sleep through the hours she wakes up and gets to have her alone time, and she values that a lot. She also loves sunrises so sometimes she wakes up earlier than needed just to see them. Has a regular amount of dreams, most of them are just nonesense really

Nairne: time is a social construct i sleep when my body screams at me to do it. Has lost the sense of time, doesnt understand how time works so simply when her eyes shut THATS the time she sleeps. Sleeping schedule???? We dont know her. We never knew her. I think she survives more through naps than through actual sleep. Algebra class?? Quick power nap cause at 2am she has an appintment with a 5 hour video on youtube about top ten creepiest things in the sea. When she does sleep she does have a lot of heavy dreams, almost like shes living things again thought shes not sure how to describe it. Isnt a very heavy sleeper.

Thank you for the ask!

[ganondoodle]

I recently just found your art (im loving and drowning in all of it)

Wanted to ask have you ever thought about the seal in which demise was kept in durring SS. I been replaying it and kind of thinking about, well, if Hylia created the seal, she made that sealscape/spiritprison(?) a very peaceful environment. Calming clear skys reflected in still waters. This only changes once the battle w Demise starts (makes me think the space is just very reflective/responsive of prisoners mind/emotions)

Anyhow! If Hylia was the one to make the seal what do you think she had in mind, how she was feeling ? W ur ship art of them in mind, I kinda get mercy vibes despite what she'd eventually have to do to him, but not wanting to put him through anymore pain? A sad goodbye moment. A sort of final resting place, maybe this space was an origin point of their first encounter w one another and its a recreationof it? Id love to see your ideas/character feels interpretations. Also sorry if this was asked or talked about previously im v new here ;v;

that is a very interesting thought, and not far actually from my plan for “destiny”, im really glad people seem to enjoy my art, even when its shippy or not fanart at all :D tho i am not sure how to answer this since, well, its a bit difficult, even knowing how everything in the story will go, i cant decide really. is it an intentionally “nice” place for a prison ? is in reality much more of a torture having to be there all alone ? was he even conscious in it ? was his very being scattered into a thousand pieces within it ? was he even able to feel any pain ? or was he in constant pain trying to recollect himself ? how does one know what happens to someone that gets sealed ? it always seems like whenever someone is sealed, they come back more ful of anger and hatred ? in what kind of hell does one get send when they get sealed away ? it might seem silly thinking so much about a game and its lore but i cant help it, i always wonder what must have happened to make the villains a villain ? people arent born evil ... and i just cant accept the answer of someone just “being” evil without an explanation ?? well im writing a story about that. in some part at least, i know its taking me a long time but this fancomic has taken me a lot of thought and work already even if you haven seen much of it yet, i will both explore the relationship between hylia demise and others, but a big part will be demises origin, i really hope you guys are going to like it sinceim very invested into everything SO i am not sure how much you know so ill talk a bit about the end of “destiny”, so SPOILERS FOR DESTINY AHEAD: i had made a post about demises origin/backstory a while back, crudely summarized bc i just typed it out to remember it properly, im not sure if you have seen it but it shouldnt be too far back somewhere on my blog if you want to take a look, tho things will still change, its base will stay the same, im leaving out pretty the whole story, so maybe, i hope, you will still be interested in reading it once i get it all drawn out, or maybe not, im not the one to decide that .. ANYWAY at the end of it, hylia will be ordered one last time to finally do her duty and seal demise away, she will try to talk to her gods that there is another way to solve everything, but they will not listen. hylia then refuses to do as she was ordered, even tho demise had warned her not to do that and that she instead should just go and kill him; if hes dead he at least wont have to get to know whatever happens to someone that gets sealed, hed much prefer never finding out; but she is too determined to give up the thought of another possibillity and thus the gods have to take things into their own hands and take control over her, forcing her to watch as her body acts on their will and not hers anymore. there will be a brief moment where demise gets to free her of them, since in that last fight hes much less fighting for his own survival, which he knows is impossible, but for hylia not to die from being in the gods control for too long. besides, he very much wants to fight the gods themselves, but he wants to do that with only him involved and them, and not someone else; thus he regains his previous, pure form from back when he was just like her, only for a short moment tho and in the end he will be sealed away by the gods acting through hylia. while she dies after the deed is done, hes sealed away yes, but although shattered, not quite dead yet, and his hatred towards the gods will burn much stronger now than it ever had before, not just because of what they did to him and his world but to her now as well.

WELL THEN that was alot and probably not even a glimpse as interesting as i hope it will be in the finished comic, with all the context in all regards.  i apologize for the length of this, and this possibly unwated and uninteresting spoiler part about this damn story that i cant get out of my head anymore. (also for .. the typos .. im writing this at 1am and it took me like an hour bc i just didnt know how to write it out) sorry, i just care alot about this.... too much probablyヾ(*′○`)ﾟ.+:｡ﾟ☆

[skamiverse]

Guys its almost 1am where i am and i was getting ready for bed thinking its almost 10 am in france shouldnt there be a clip by now and then the clip dropped right after and i just gotta say god bless and thank you that i was actually awake for the first clip of the season 🙌

[fuck-customers]

Stingy boomer alert & other fuck you moments.

This is a mix of tmshit that has happened at my job. (I'm the one who works in a rural casino in the PNW. Hey all)

So as I stated before my casino is in the middle of like phase 2 remodels, because some spaces desperately need it & others had to be reworked from phase 1. Ok fine.

On 3/30/19 I am told that myself & 2 volunteers have to clear out a bar area for renovation & that I am to continue that action on 3/31. Which is a Sunday (the day I am supposed to get the extra work done from doing 2 other peoples jobs done) AND an inventory day! AND we are open & somewhat busy & short staffed! Fun!

We get a good start 3/30, but then we are told on 3/31 that we moved things to a wrong area. So we had to move all that shit again & finish the project. All the while, I came in at 4pm and still had to put in our alcohol order for the week. AND finish inventory (5 restaurants worth, between 3 people ON TOP OF tearing down and moving a bar).

We got it done, but my ass was still there at 8am the next day (yes. Yes. 16. Fucking. Hours) when 2 of my bosses came in for their shifts. & I had a 3pm shift later that day. (4/1. And no: this is not a joke). And I get snarked at for not having inventory done sooner. My boss kindly overlooked the fact that I cussed at her as I was leaving. But I was still expected to be there at 3. (I asked the AM relief supervisor if she could cover til 4 and she was like "oh but...I have plans..." ME TOO LINDA* LIKE SLEEP SO I DON'T MURDER ANYONE YOU WAFFLE IRON!!) I make it in at 3pm by the skin of mybteeth to find: we still jad to inventory the bar we tore apart. I talked to the inventory queen & was like "that isn't happening but all the alcohol is in the other bar that we *did* inventory so its just paper products & those are now X place want me to just count that off?" And she agrees but Mondays are Hella busy so I don't leave(again) until nearly 1am. Cue 2 days off, half spent just recuperating and being in general physical pain. FUCK my BoH director he was the one who INSISTED that we start the bar remodel now GRR.

So this weekend! (4/7) I come in at 1pm on Sunday to do orders & run one of our restaurants. Someone mentions that one of our renovated areas is to open the following day and I laugh thinking its a joke as it opens on 4/16.

Not a joke! They decided to soft open for the tribe! No one has stocked it except for soda! A fridge, a low boy & a freezer arent working! No one but me knows how to work the smoothie machine! There is no water connected! And best of all: THERE IS NO UPPER MANAGEMENT ON SITE TODAY.

The other supervisors/chefs who have been here for YEARS are like "hurr durr what do?" And I am like OMG GET MAINTENANCE R U KIDDING ME? Omg we have to stock it! OMG ITS EMPTY.

Thankfully AM supervisor #2 (lets call her Rachel) is like

Meanwhile my ass is like

And the 2 veteran chefs are like:

Agdjdkalkdyuejalkdhsyifh

I did have to connect w/ department director (.gif chosen very specifically cause she is kind and a badass but can absolutely challenge you)

& she gave me an attaboy b/c I Handled It & didn't panic & got my important shit done but!

GDI! I SHOULDN'T HAVE HAD TO MAKE UNILATERAL DECISIONS LIKE I DID. THIS IS LITERALLY ABOVE MY PAY GRADE.

My ass left at fucking 2am I worked a 13 hr day & I was STILL FIELDING CALLS THE NEXT DAY.

I WANNA KNOW WHO DECIDED TO OPEN UP A WEEK EARLY AND NOT FUCKING SCHEDULE ANYONE TO STOCK OR PREP? Cause it wasn't Director! UGH CAN WE STOP PLEASE ASSHATS??

And now! The title cunt of this long ass post: THE BOOMER.

So! Our buffet (all the rvcs really) has an 18% gratuity in parties of 8 or more policy. Have had it since I started. This SAME DAY that we are having to scramble to get this rvc stocked and opening ready, an 8top comes in and is charged gratuity. I have been to exactly nowhere in this state that does NOT do this when faced w/ a large party. 8 is the normal cutoff point.

I get a call from my host saying I may wanna talk to the table b/c they said it was forced (if you say no we can't add it, but most people don't say no, they ask 'why') and are being really shitty to the server.

So I ask cashiers: did they day no? No? Ok.

Get to table & one lady is like " this girl is getting 40 dollars of a tip this is ridiculous! Its not like she is BRINGING me my food! I shouldnt have to tip! At ALL." And stuff like "entitled little girl! We are BIG TIPPERS we don't need to be Forced to tip!" And other bullshit like that.

And I exolain its a standard industry policy & if she goes to other local buffet itd haooen there too, amd also clarify that the server is getting 18 something and then ask "Do you have your receipts? *she shoves all 4 at me* OK I can refund your tip, oh hhey who had the credit card & who had x? I can fix all of these..." And everyone else at her table glared at her & were like "No no its fine! We don't need a refund on the tip!"

SHE still insisted though, so I told her I would take care of it & I did. I made sure to ask if everyone else was surr but they declined firmly.

As I walk away I hear them start to argue w/ her & shes just being nasty a.f. & she was nasty when I returned her 3.21 (taxes incl) to her table too & made a point to put all of it but 2 pennies in her purse.

Her entire table kinda stopped talking to her & I assigned a busser to finish out that particular ladies service (drinks, bussing plates etc) b/c even after it was over and done she was making my server uncomfortable.

Tell you what though, every table near hers in my servers section was *appalled* and my server still walked out well compensated but seriously: FUCK that lady. She had no cause to be rude a.f. the server in question is a sweetheart & one of the best.

I hope that bitter twat chokes on a prune.

When it comes down to it: can't or won't tip? Don't eat out!!! Jfc.

[indigopurple]

Episode review! Oh no.

Its almost 1am on a school night in finals week and I've decided hey let's do a "quick" review! I might regret this but I have zero hope or belief that I'll do well either way so whatever. LETS GET STARTED ON THIS SHITSHOW NOW SHALL WE?

Ok I must say, as someone who hasnt rlly seen any of the manga besides some panels here on Tumblr, episode 914 kinda surprised me (which was just the icing on top of the huge cake that is fucking hype and stuff obviously). We some uh, behaviour we don't rlly ever get from Luffy. Not much of it anyways. This episode was kindof a mix of impel down and dressrosa. Exhibit A.

Ok so we see hes horrified. The castle was fucking obliverated along with possibly his and Law's crew and their allies. And so he gets mad and punches the tree (which BTW that was rlly cool, he just hit it without any haki and it fucking split in half. Laws just watching him throw a tantrum like holy fuck how strong is this kid honestly)

Also! Note that I said horrified. That's not anger at first. Gee I wonder what else it could be.

Exhibit B. A few times luffy used conquorers haki, and

Whoa. Holy shit like this was so fucking cool. Hes so mad, and the art and the colors and I cant even show how fucking great this was in these few screenshots. So, so fucking cool.

Anyways! He's using conquorers haki WAY MORE than he ever has before in a fight. Like, dude he just mindlessly used it to shit up those guys standing by Horselina (speed) without caring. He's never, ever done that before, he always thinks of who is surrounding him first like 'oh i shouldnt knock out the innocent bystanders'. He did that like one time ever, in fishman island, and apologized while doing so. And entering the city, AFTER learning that the guys surrounding them were all bad guys, he used haki on them. Im not sure why he cares so much (maybe ill write abt that later) but he does. ANYWAYS...

Exhibit C. *sobs*

He (tries to) convince himself that his crew is okay. Hes really not sure tho; he NEVER QUESTIONS STUFF LIKE THIS, EVER. HES ALWAYS SURE. THIS IS COMPLETELY NEW. MORE FEUL TO WHAT ILL SAY LATER, BUT...FINALLY.

Exhibit D. Finale. More crying.

He's mad at himself. He blames himself. Has he ever done this before? Maybe. He never rlly said it out loud but I high key believe he does blame himself for stuff like this, with bon kurei and ace n etc.

Which means a lot of whats happening and how he reacts is at least mildly influenced by the war. Now.... I can finally say what I've been building up to. If its not obvious enough.....

Hes scared. Okay? Hes terrified. And hes so good at hiding it behind anger (and it USED TO BE CONFIDENCE BUT THAT WAS KINDA RUINED POST-WAR). He doesnt know if his crew is alive, his friend(s) might be dead, hes supposedly all alone (law isnt rlly on his side rn, he just wants to run away which is perfectly logical and good lord Luffy needs to calm down but he fUCKING CANT-), everything is out of his control. And he doesn't know how to beat kaido.

Which currently doesnt matter to him because all luffy can feel is rage (fear that oh my god everyones dead i couldnt protect them its happening again).

I cant add any more pictures sadly, but theres the thing where luffys like 'he got our friends. They might be dead. If I beat kaido right now, it'll be over, right?' To which law doesnt actually answer, he just gets this look like 'fucking dont oh my god we're so fucked stop it u rubber ball of anger issue's and then Luffy gets this whole cool scene of announcing his presence, jumping across the rooftops, gear third as he leaps like 200 feet into the air (could he do that before? I think he did it on accident in the fight against karakuri. Strong thighs.) and falls back down, screaming and anger as he costs his arm which is 10 times his entire body's size in haki. And he punches as hard as he fucking can. And it seems to work. God that scene was SO fucking COOL. Also throught this I think he's got conquorers haki coursing through him cuz it seems to have just been, constant. I wouldn't be surprised if it was a mindless self defense mechanism. Again, He's scared, and mad, and going all fucking out. Of course he would.

Ok im done rambling. I rlly need to sleep. Think I'll just wake up and cry til im at school and then I'll just feel nothing for the rest of the week. Ah, finals.

[kickassviv]

i need your opinion. so my older sister, she’s 34 & i’m 23, lives about 4 hours away from me & decided to pop up out of nowhere and ask me to babysit her 1 year old for the night but i was at work all day and helped my other sister clean her apartment right after and i’m just getting home and i’m exhausted so i said no i can’t & she said now they’re going to have to sleep in the car and she’s basically putting all the blame on me saying i’m the aunt blah blah blah but like am i wrong

like i’m just getting home after being at work since 2 then going straight to my other sisters house to clean because she’s moving and i’m just getting home at 1am, i have to wake up early tomorrow to do laundry and have work again tomorrow... i’m fucking tired dude but she’s making me feel bad and calling me a bad aunt

i think you shouldnt feel guilty about someone elses poor planning lol, also its a 4 hour drive thats really unreasonable

[thatrandomvlog0428]

1AM Thoughts

Im so tired. Like mentally tired. Im exhausted. I'm not enjoying a lot of things that i used to. My confidence is below the floor. It's hard to get up in the morning when sometimes i dont even sleep. I feel like I suck at my job. And i have so much shit i carry around my shoulders. Things i shouldnt even have to worry about. And most days i can barely breathe. I dont even have motivation to shower sometimes. I dont want to die contrary to what i say most times. I just want to be able to breathe and enjoy life. The only time i can breathe and not worry is when I'm with my boyfriend. And yesterday i got officially diagnosed diabetic type two at the emergency room and even though i look calm on the outside i am not calm on the inside. To me having to hear those words is basically someone calling me fat and disgusting like i have heard my entire life. I want to stop eating but i cant so I'm going to go vegan to see if i can lose weight. i got a gym membership but i might cancel it because with my depression i dont think I'll be able to get out of bed to workout though im planning to start going after work since its close to my work but idk. And my mom told her uncle about me being in the hospital and her uncle told my dad because they're friends and he didn't care. When my mom told me i was fine but now im breaking down because i was always such a huge dad's girl but just like everyone else he left me alone when i needed him the most. And honestly i just want to move out of this house and cut ties with everyone in my family because they have made me go through so much my whole life. Im planning on calling tomorrow to my clinic to get an appointment with my psychiatrist and psychologist because i havent gone since like May...

[tangyss]

do you mayhaps have any,,,, fic recs,,,,,,,,

mayhaps i do.......... this week’s theme is.....:

🔥💪🤩 lance centric fics written better than the actual gd show with a side helping of klance 💪🤩🔥

back with a madness (champion) by mytay

lance gets roped into a weeks worth of illegal underground cage fighting in order to protect some alien kids and their wounded mother, while trying to do this behind his suspcious teammates backsOH MAN OH FUCKIE DUDE...... ive wanted to rec this fic for SO FUCKING LONG bc when i started reading this i genuinely got so hooked...... bamf lance who is written SO WELL??? we STAN??? like idk but the fact that lance’s drive throughout the whole thing is to keep the family safe, like he could totally back out, he could totally get someone else to help, yet he keeps going with pride and determination bc he wants to make sure this lil family of alien gets to the end of this safely makes my heart MELT...... if u like badass lance w the team being supportive as well as extremely concerned for him then u should 10000% read this fic(tw: injuries and fighting, tho if u can watch the rocky movies u’ll be fine w this, pining keith more than actual klance, matt/shiro, tho for the most part it’s somewhat easy to view as platonic)

lance’s guide to picking up hitchhikers by bwyn

modern au where lance gets a new car, and first thing he thinks of doing with it is going on five day long roadtrip while picking up hitchhikers and befriending them

wow i cant believe people online who create fics for fun can write lance and the team as really good, really close friends who care for and genuinely love lance PROPERLY, unlike some “professional” show i know!!!! wild!!!!!! this fic is basically lance becoming friends w the team, it’s super cheerful and heartwarming to read and this fic’ll make u want to take an impromptu roadtrip bc it’s SO FUN!!! everything about it is so good man...... also everyone is GAY and im p sure lance has adhd which made my heart SOAR

(tw: allura/shiro.... like im not 100% but i remember there being more sh/al than there was actual kl and i didnt dig that, but the fic does mainly focus on the friendship elements than the romances..... also (spoiler) the kl is open ended in this fic too but if u want team bonding and fun times u should read this!!)

5 + 1 times: lance and the search for keith’s boyfriend by haikquu

lance and keith are really..... really close friends, yet somehow lance starts finding clues that keith might have a boyfriend, which is weird, bc keith never told him that he had boyfriend, yet everyone else seems to know.... HUH.....

man i was giggling the whole way through this fic just read it please sdiguhsdiugsjguisjgsidugj it’s hhhhhhhhhh HEARTWARMING AND DORKY

+ an extra one if ur feeling a lil angsty......... and by lil i mean this fic feels like a horror action thriller which i read at 1am when only the first chapter was out and ended up not sleeping that night bc i was too busy not crying

echo a spark by usernicole

a s4 rewrite...... and tbh if voltron wasnt a kids show, this is how it SHOULD have gone.... shiro is not his usual supportive and open self around lance and is acting a lot colder to lance than he normally would. after coming to the conclusion that that’s not shiro, lance makes a plan to find the real shiro

also, it’s part 2 of this long distant s4 klance fic but basically if u dont read that one first, the context is that keith and lance are dating, keith’s still w the bom, and shiro is a fucken CLONE.. also broganes yay! and a lil bit of established klance conflict but it’s all good they cuddle uwu

(tw: lance has an anxiety attack in ch1, there’s a FUCK TON of fighting in ch2 and like seriously..... the descriptions for stuff that happens in ch2 shouldnt be read by someone who isnt good w body horror/gore n shit like that... it’s an intense fic, but im a fan of horror thrillers so i enjoyed this when i wasnt on the verge of tears lol)

[capnmarvell]

I’m frustrated, so I’m going to thought dump here. If anyone is interested, feel free to read on. I also don’t bite, so if you have any words of wisdom, or want to chime in, feel free to message me, comment on this, whatever.

I’ve been a pretty confident person for a good chunk of time. For a fat girl being raised in a family that constantly likes to talk about me losing weight, that’s a big accomplishment lol Along with that, I have a pretty good idea of my own self worth and what I deserve, etc etc

8 months ago I got dumped. And that shit? hurted. Like a lot. I took a HUGE chance on this guy, because he broke my heart before. He kept me from meeting his friends and family, he never said he loved me, it was basically just fucking and going out on nice dates. We had been going out for a year and half and I broke up with him because I had it! I was tried of feeling like he was ashamed of me, like I was still some “secret” bs. I knew I deserved more.

I tried dating again, was single for like 3 months, and then he wanted to talk. He said he realized he was in love with me, and he wanted what I wanted. He would introduce me to his family, and bring me to his friends wedding, and we would be serious. And so BAM. I gave him another chance.

Not even a year goes by. He still hasn’t introduced me to his family, despite all the major “family meeting” holidays passing. We’d argued about it and he basically admitted to lying about meeting his family, as he thinks I “can’t handle” meeting them.

Then he tells me he doesn’t love me anymore. and he breaks up with me.

Like...not even a year after he tells me he’s in love with me, and wants what I want. and I just feel so stupid. I was so in love with this guy, planning our futures together, when we would move in together, budgeting to take that dream trip to Europe in 2 years, envisioning wedding plans and when would be appropriate to start trying for a baby.

and it’s just gone. All done.

So I start moving on again. It was harder this time. I think I cried to every single one of my friends. and my entire family, including brothers-in-laws, and nieces and nephews, all heard me sobbing my eyes out after it happened (he broke up with me outside of my house during my nephew’s 12th birthday party). But eventually it got better.

I’ve been on dating apps, gone on a few dates too, got sexually harassed/assaulted by one dude on a dating app (that was horribly scarring but i digress) and now all those feelings for this guy are kind of like a dull numbness of the memory of love, like with my first boyfriend when I was 15.

and like...I’m hella a whore. Like I am 100000% pro hookups and 1 night stands, because I’ve always been really great at separating sex from emotions. So when my ex made it clear he would be down for sex, and I don’t have a problem with it. So we hook up. No big deal for me.

and that’s kind of on and off for the last few months. I don’t really care much. Apparently, he cared?

He texted me - TEXTED ME - drunk at 1am “I’m still in love with you. You’re the only girl for me. I’m so sorry.”

and I LAUGH. I call him, LAUGHING, and I ask “How drunk are you that you’re saying this bullshit?”

and he’s OFFENDED. He goes “I’m not that drunk. I just wanted to say it.” and he asks me to come over. I tell him absolutely not. He begs me to come over the next night to talk. I tell him fine.

So I stop by after work and I ask him what is going on and he just shrugs and said he doesn’t know what to say.

and I stormed out. TWICE. I kept coming back to yell at him for wasting my time. and the third time I ask him why the hell he told me that.

and he shrugs and says yes, he was drunk when he said it and he shouldnt have said but it when drunk but that doesnt make what he said a lie. He said he really does feel like that.

and I just shrugged and asked what he wants to do about that.

And he said he was aware he hasn’t been fair to me (but also to be fair, I’ve been using him for meaningless sex for 5 months) and he has a lot of issues he needs help with, and he’s made arrangements to start seeing a therapist.

and I told him that was great, because when we dated I wanted to talk to him about seeing a therapist.

But like I said...my feelings for him are like...a dull numbness. If anything, he’s like a friend at this point. I’m glad he’s getting help, but do I really want to entertain this idea of getting back with him? I don’t even think I could trust him after he lied about me meeting his family and then 10 months go by and nothing. and I don’t even have an explanation as to what his “falling out of love” thing from back in January was about, so how the fuck do I just “believe” he loves me? Like???? You understand, right? He woke up and just said “oh i don’t love you anymore, this is over.” and now he’s like “I love you. I was wrong.” ????? IT MAKES NO SENSE. and he’s given me no explanation.

Like I know what I deserve. I deserve someone who doesn’t break my heart multiple times, and who I trust wholeheartedly. I get it relationships have ups and downs, and you stick by the person you love “no matter what” but this?? I mean, he’s unpredictable and I’m not really on board with that.

Like I hate the idea of being like “Hey, dude, I’m honored you love me, but you burned the shit out of me. I can’t just go back. But still friends?” cuz I just haaaaaaaate being the one to do that stuff.

This girl at work was talking to me, and said it would be different if he had reached out after he had been in therapy for a good chunk of time. and you know, I agree. If he already began working on himself, with some therapy sessions under his belt to help with his demons, then it might be different. I might be okay with a date or two.

But he hasn’t even gone yet. He’s just made the appointment. I have no idea if he’ll keep going.

and also, he didn’t ask to get back together. He just told me he loves me, and he’s gonna see a therapist, and that’s it.

So this is just me, thinking over if I would want to get back with him after he’s gone to therapy to figure this out.

and overall, I don’t think I want to. Not yet. I need change. Not saying something, and that’s it. At this point, his words are meaningless.

It’s like that quote facebook moms always like to share. “The best apology is changed behavior.”

Like he can tell me he loves me as much as he wants. It’s like...he’s barely changed. That’s not gonna win me back.

I’m a prize, damn it. Like...literally every guy I’ve dated have all said I’m an incredible girlfriend. Even my abusive ex from when I was 19. I know my worth. It’s like a report card and all my teachers keep putting the “pleasure to have in class” comment over and over lol BUT ANYWAY

I know my worth. and I just feel like I’m worth way more than a guy who’s broken my heart multiple times.

[xz017]

.

oof. okay so imma do the latest tea???

got out of shower to hear my mum talkin to Agnes spillin the tea abt their friend/coworker

the one with that Kid my mum wanted to have a playdate with or whatever the annoyingly studious and clearskinned halfasian lookin girl i really envied.

her mum has a live in boyfriend who is basically like...an alcoholic mental case rip god i hate alcohol and i hate people who drink it like i only do it so i hate myself more and die but like this guy basically playin with knives n guns in the house and the kid who is like 19 idk why im callin her kid is so Over it like apparently she hasn’t been coming home and like

basically me in 2016 era when my mum was too generous n Helpful lettin ppl back into our lives and our House so i spent christmas morning 5am walkin in the cold n watchin 3 films until it got dark and stuff like that

girl be actin homeless---mood

so it came to a head today so Agnes is spillin the tea n her husband in the bg(omg it weird hearin him rip he was my military hs instructor wild) n my mUM is so selfrighteous n mad like

‘blablahblah well rosalie is being dumb she should put her daughter first she being sick in the head it her Choice’

n im like eavesdroppin havin warflashbacks of the dumb hypocrisy she has DOne lmao

‘has she no thought like what if Tyler gets raped/sexually abused by that man she’d let her daughter be in that environment???’

i mean it wouldnt be fair of me to be like...eyemoji on this cos she technically doesn’t know? but 19 may 2018 never4get lmao

anyway so my mum’s like our room is for rent and it’ll be far cheaper they dont even have to pay rn!!!

cue me being like...um...Money...generosity...i dont...LIke

i was conflicted here like idk i met the girl like 3-5 times im envious of her work ethic n her better asian disposition than mine cos she obviously prettier but she has better prospects and that’d suck if her life be like that

but also??? like...life be like that it was like that to me like who saved me????????????????????? 

um...no one

like why is that on me or US TO BE NICE n helpful im so tired like damn which is relevant to the next point anyway

cos earlier had a convo with my mum i was eyemojing healthcare profs i was like ‘pls stop bein on ye phone pls tell me info on ye opinion on respiratory therapists...what abt PA’

n deadass she be eyemojing me like STICK TO YOUR COURSE

n i was like...-ugly pleadin emoji eyes- n i was tryin to explain that i didn’t want to be so focused on one thing that if i decide this medical thing is what i want to pursue i’d need 1-2 years just for the PREREQS which is like 5 classes and 1000 clinical hours or minimum 6 month healthcare paid job. like if i decide i want to go to school for that i already have the Stuff and just Apply.

n she was like...you had your chance i bothered you to be a nurse a few years ago you were stubborn if you did as i said you’d be earning good money now but you wasted time

n i was like...oof i can’t say anything to that it’s tru. it real life tea it fax i wasted time n im old n im ruunnin out of time i hate myself alot i hate hate hate

and idk we got to talkin abt money n life cos she was like you have to find something you can learn to LOve

n i was like??? WHY I GOTTA SETTLE N FOOL MYSELF TO DO SO im super annoyed abt that mindset

cos the thing about a bloody Arts degree is there’s too fuckin many broad possibilities n they all aint even that good. like deadass if i was a STEM major ugh like if i was a Bio major prospects are so clear: forensics, research, premed,labtech. Meanwhile polsci for example: uhhh teacher? prelaw? politician? uhhh government work? n there’s like 111 different subdivisions of that n it’s like??? wat the fuck

deadass what am i gonna do with international security is that even gonna pay well like...the fuck do i know is it relevant ??? Doubts

n she was all like...PEOPLE JUST GOTTA DO WHAT THEY HAVE TO TO SURVIVE YOU GOTTA FIND YOURS N STICK WITH IT

n i was lowkey panique n frustrated cos i really REALLY hate being stuck in 1 ting n im like i HAD ACTING YOU SAID NO

n she was like pFF i wanted you to have something REAL cos if you dont make it in acting you’d be on the STREETS

n i was like...lmao lil did she know imma be on the streets next year smh this year actually

n she was like talkin abt the harsh reality of the workforce and how you gotta make do at how ppl treat you (patients) n how you might not even like your coworkers but you gotta deal with it because that’s what ppl do to survive

n she was talkin abt undeserving patients with no healthcare n i was like did you just hear yourself so you want them to die cos they dont got money and she was like 

no??? why get hooked up in the ICU when you’re braindead wasting government money taxes we payed for you don’t understand cos you dont have a job and dont get your salary cut cos of taxes and these people come in acting like they got something to give when they yell at your face acting like they know what they’re talking about they act entitled when they have nothing homeless ppl getting money and illegal immigrants are selfish bringing their kids to be hurt here

n im like...theyre life is ...shitty what are you talkin about n she was like so? why dont they stay and make it better??? one of my very first patients asked me why i was in america and i said i come from a poor country and they said why didn’t you stay and try to make it better? and i couldn’t say anything cos u know what they were right why dont illegal immigrants do that??? n im like...

cos theyre literally...RUNNIN and they want ppl they care abt i.e. children to be far away from that as soon as possible bruh ye think imma wait for change deadass there a reason why we suffer duterte he actually get shit done??? we dont have to wait for change the same way ppl who speak nice n are polite do but is stuck with bureaucracy and lowkey bein corrupt deadass stay in ye lane

n she’s like well i hope you’re right im done bein an idealist im a realist now i believed in good i wanted to help the world now no more

n im like...no you’re not a realist, you’ve just been hangin out with a republican

and she gave me a sideeye 

but deadass im ...scared like i really hate the empathy because when she was being serious n talkin n being honest abt things for once i started to unwillingly see things from her point of view i really felt it n i was scared i’ll be like that im scared she’s right

im scared i’ll end up Real n selfish like...i already am ? n bitter? like i care about so very few Personally and am willin to let others suffer to keep it safe n prioritised?

im scared.

like especially with racism all these years my mum’s been telling me it’s not that im racist just wait til you work with them they act so entitles and loud and make everything about race

n i almost told Her abt it earlier i skyped w her earlier we had a tea spillin moment about our ethnic relations bein racist but then idk we talked alot i guess the text got buried or unseen

like i said i was scared n didn’t get to unpack it like im scared because ive been livin with my roomate and like...ive been excusing it as a personality thing and that if it were anyone else different skin colour id still hate them just the same which i still maintain is true but like?

my RM is loud n she makes everything abt race like deadass me n my FM be just eating dinner and she passes by us and goes on a rant about harvard asians being a Blok to black ppl from getting There n im like...im tryna have dinner so i can get energy to deal with this stressful ass school

n she always talks like she knows what she’s talking about like ‘jewish ppl control the federal bank’ n im like...it 1am in the dark quiet of our shared room deadass i dont wanna tell the binch thats antisemitism cos she gonna be like im black how can i be racist smh

im!!! scared alright like i hate my roomate for proving my mum right when i try so hard to set things right like maybe that’s why i dont tell anyone about my situation other than Her. i never told my parents about the berkeley livin situation they already warn me enough to be careful n i just keep tellin them thats racist

i have so much........THOUGHTS n........DILEMMAS...n FEARS but like i just have this blog i cant trust anyone else to talk abt it n the only person i am willing to talk to abt it will be busy and im so ashamed abt these things but she was so sweet about givin me the heads up about her schedule 

like i hated that i had to get an ugly ass haircut today cos she came back to me n we couldve talked so i guess rip she was complacent n did stuff cos she replied late from then on like that dumbass haircut was 15 minutes ugh. our talkin pattern today was like...dashed lines timereply wise? i asked her if she packed earlier (pre haircut)n she said yes but rip a few hours later she was like...I need to pack 

wat is the truth rip

the tablet bein emo like...mood but my child rip.

my love be packin n spendin time with fam before leavin for london tomorrow

n even after that she doin...Stuff. rip.

which is ye know good for her rip.

i just hope she dont go iceskatin deadass one slip n she can crack her head open or break her neck or paralyse her spine like...??? why do humans wanna do dumb activities

like omg she admitted to me today she a serial jaywalker and WORSE with music n headphones like

binch thats why i didnt wanna enable you further by gettin ye airpods deadass bye

n she was like??? tryna equate it with my risky risk like ummm

mine is for science n validity

hers is just carelessness n chosin lazy convenience over idk...the responsibility of self vigilance like...

bruh ppl shouldnt promise someone 91 years if they be continuin to do dumb stuff consciously oof rip

but other than that like...im...really proud of this resolution she be undertakin officially on the 14th?

im nervous abt it cos i really want it for her too. i want her to get the proper sleep n i always hated her givin excuses like ‘IM FINE ON 4 HOURS OF SLEEP’ ‘I NAPPED 3 HOURS 38293820 HOURS AGO IM FINE I MADE UP FOR IT’ um...blokt. get proper sleep binch i love you tf???

prioritise work cos ye gonna regret not givin it yer all??? n ye payin for this???

what fun??? we capitalists now we want that money rip.

i see that shift you know rip i saw it comin a year ago.

that dont mean we republicans rip we still care about others n the inequality? but like i foresaw us getting acquainted with the harsh reality of the world n how difficult it is to get a job--which she experienced along the way.

n rip she wants many things bookmarkin them n honestly same rip

i want a stable warm home for this family n a shiny diamond to get disassociated by extra im a simple man

meanin im selfish n im ready to prioritise meanin im ready to make the choice for others to fall apart/behind if it means puttin This first rip

god pls dont make me a republican this so ugly

# 1 she’d hate me #2 i’d hate me

now im sad

im dead.

omg rip earlier too as she said goodbye i told her i loved her and she was like ‘i love you more’

DEADASS I WAS LIKE LMAO!!! girL i dont think you understand im literally Ready to put you and our possible future First like...im not messin around what skitrips with rich ppl what friends my love is potent n extreme n COncentrated like im sorry ik you feel love for me but you cant top This rip she not ready 

like the um ‘partially wanna make my life’s work abt knowin what might hurt n kill ye so i can kill it first or blok it well’ kinda love

the ‘im already savin for at least HALF a first month deposit in an overpriced london in case you wanna settle down wit me Mayhaps n im not touching it for ANYTHING’ kinda love

the ‘im thinking of a winter home in the tropics so you suffer less n im plannin the floorplans already rip just in case’ kinda extraness

but anyways the gall of this cute lovely human rip ‘i love you more’ ummm try Again smh

bruh i love her too much i bet that’s scary for her rip it might be a Burden tbh she so young rip 

meanwhile im old n ready to rot but like...

i wanna be mortal wit ye before i do

but ye know wat lads i saw myself in the mirror today like 5 times OOF. this meatform...keepin me...Humble. 

bitter but like...humble

‘like of course sHe not ready not only is my personality like dis but also...my outward form how could she introduce me as a Spouse’

‘wow i look like that oof it good i remembered i am undeservin of full intense love like in the films n fanfiction they always between attractive ppl after all it only 1/2 it not Equal’

‘wow bruh ye really upset she spendin time n resources elsewhere when you be lookin like That? ye dont have much to offer bro take the L’

oof so that’s the personal tea i can think of?

had a meghan marke talk rip i can’t believe i was right??? i had twin vibes!!! but i was hoping for like a variety situation rip im worried a lil abt the whole birthin Late ting but she can afford the highest care rip it fine she rich.

my love was talkin abt how pretty MM was n i was like rip is she triggerin Her a lil rip worrirooni

rip speakin of babies like she was showin me this smol gummybear n im like same das me heart n she was like :( n i was like it only fits you

n she was like so no children then:(

n i was like!!! rip if it Ours of course that Counts n i was a lil shook like rip she said she didn’t want them Really so i always get guilty when i talk abt the future or realise i mentioned kids or carelessly name drop Hyaline n Benzion like...im dead rn just typin that like what if she read this big shame bro

but ye know what this is already long n she gonna be busy maybe that’s the key. TOo Much puts ppl OFF so ye mayhaps we sneaky ! ?

anyway i was tryin to get her thoughts on it rip but like she was all iDK ASK ME IN 13 Yrs n i was like...

sighemoji + sandemoji + resignedemoji

rip we talked FAaC a lil. cos she Dared!!! to liken me to her brother just cos i showed her my cheap youth boy shoes smh

At first i was super offended n disgusted but then i was like rip eyemoji if ye into that

then she was like ew nO

then i was like um ye already play the ‘daddy u like me young huh’ card

which is like idk is like technically? joking but it’s like that post ye know abt ppl bein ‘whether or not im actually jokin or flirtin depends if you into it’ but also like schrodingers racism like ‘it was a joke bro!!!’ but they actually bigots.

so it DIFFICULT for my brain to Confirm rip like...eyemoji what is the truth

but like??? im rip. willin. rip. to. rip. Try. rip.?

really i am rip. it Her. bruh. im only hopin she dont have a golden shower kink but. trust i...Will follow thru.

nO IM REMEMBERIN THE DOO DOO POST DESPAIR

rip anyway that whole thing reminded me of FAaC origins which was porn n then somehow sHe was like imagine if egggsy was a singer he’d sing like ‘age is just a number’ shit n i SPILLED THE TEA ABOUT A TING IN PT 3 im so weak sand

i miss the gays

i wanna give them justice n happiness but the 2027 excuse is rl nice for my ugly procrastination issues oof but i wish them well

add: rip had another talk with my mum i really wanted her to understand my thought process about wanting to get the prereqs for medtraining done beforehand

n she was like...I UNderstand but Normal people--

n i was like ‘IM NOT NORMAL I DONT KNOW HOW TO CHOOSE I HAVE NO IDENTITY’

n she’s just like SHOOKE n mad n clearly dont understand that im fukt up in the head ‘...IC AN’T BELIEVE YOU!!! iF YOU’RE ABNORMAL YOU WONT GET HIRED N YOU WONT HAVE A NICE JOB’

n im like...well i mean what can i say to that it’s not like it’s not tru rip

Big sand honestly.

it gonna be a long few days imma do my best to leave her alone she needs her time rip i love her so much rip sand

i feel like a dumb ugly dog god fljækadfkøad h8