#i shouldn’t be posting about this much I’ll leave people alone

[bereft-of-frogs]

I’m super sorry, I’m going to start tagging this with a negativity tag so if anyone following me is really into it they can block it out but I feel like I got whiplash from the sudden romance subplot. Episode 6 was one thing, episode 8 had a lot more that I’m struggling with how to make sense of. It’s just such a sudden turn. Like trying to think back 2 weeks is insane to me. Like 2-3 weeks ago if someone asked ‘hey do you think Osha and either the masked Sith/Mae’s assistant friend should kiss’ it would have been absurd, not something that was apparently floated for the finale. It was not a thought that crossed my mind until episode 6 of 8. Whiplash. Truly. I feel like we just speed-ran the way these ships take over, I feel a little insane.

I feel like I didn’t have time to properly grieve for Jecki, Yord, and the Jedi redshirts, let alone wrap my head around Sol. I need some time lol

[frankenkyle19]

Kinktober Day 3: Toy Experimenting With Kyle Spencer

posting this before I head to bed because I have a very busy day tomorrow. Enjoy! :)

word count: 4.3k

warnings/description: Smut, porn with very little plot, anal stuff, unprotected sex, sex shops, dildos, vibrators, handjobs, whiny Kyle, cuteness. Very briefly proofread. Definitely at least a few errors.

Kyle was a bit different. Of course everyone was different in their own way, but he was…. A bit more than most. Maybe it was just his personality, but it also could easily be the fact that he had been quite literally pieced back together and reanimated by two witches that really had no idea what they were doing. 

If you had to guess, you’d figure it was almost no doubt the second option. 

Still, you loved him no matter how hard he was to take care of sometimes. He so badly wanted to take care of himself and do things by himself, but he was clumsy and sometimes (most times) he needed help, despite how much he hated asking for it. You tried to respect that and only intervened when he really really needed the help. 

Well maybe, just maybe this was one of those times…

You had gone out with the rest of the girls to do some much needed shopping and decided it’d be best to leave Kyle behind. He had high anxiety in crowded places with lots of people, and you didn’t want to drag him around town while he was scared. Not when he could become a danger to himself and others in the blink of an eye. It just seemed cruel. You decided to come back to the academy a bit earlier than the rest of the girls, slightly worried about leaving Kyle alone for so long. You didn’t want him to get into something dangerous that could potentially hurt him or cause one of the other witches to be upset with him.

What you had not expected was opening the door to the bedroom you shared with Kyle to see him completely naked on your bed, hair a mess, body covered in a sheen of sweat as he tried pathetically to press a pretty pink dildo into his ass. 

Your dildo-

You and Kyle had messed around before. You’d helped him find his release and let him stay deep inside you. He slept the best when his cock was buried deep in your warmth. It was comforting in a way to him, beyond  anything sexual, a way he showed his love.

What you had never done was use your toys with Kyle, or even showed them to him. So he must have been snooping around the room while you were gone.. Jesus Christ. This is exactly why you shouldn’t have left him alone.

Kyle looked up quickly when he heard you walk in. His eyes were filled with a desperation that immediately made you melt. He was squirming on the silicone cock and whining pathetically.

“H-hurt. H-help pleaseee?” He asked, pulling the cock from his hole, wincing a bit. It was obvious he had done no prep and hadn’t even lubed up the toy. Poor boy…

He obviously had a very clear idea of what he wanted, but wasn’t quite sure how to achieve it.

You made your way towards him, stopping to grab your small bottle of lube from your bedside drawer. You sat on the bed and rubbed Kyle’s back gently, trying to calm him. He seemed so riled up and you needed him calm before you tried anything with him. 

“I’ll help you baby, but next time you gotta be careful okay? You could have hurt yourself and we don’t want that, right?” You wondered how he even knew how to do this and realized at some point in his life, while he was still alive, he’d done something like this to be able to remember it even now.

Your presence immediately calmed him as he leaned against you, holding the dildo out for you to take.

“H-help please?” He said gently, his words more clear and thought through. You were always worried that maybe he didn’t exactly understand this, and could he really consent in such a state? But it was moments like this where he initiated it, that you realized he understood just fine.

You pressed a kiss to his temple and he chased your lips with his own before he kissed you. He was a bit sloppy and the kiss was definitely a bit wetter than you enjoyed, but because it was Kyle, it wasn’t as horrible as it could be. He leaned practically his whole body weight on you as he moaned against your lips, his clumsy hands coming to grasp onto your shoulders and squeeze gently. Well… as gently as he could. It was still a bit rough.

You pulled away, much to Kyle’s dismay until he heard the pop of the cap on the bottle, seeing you squirt some of the clear substance onto your hand and rubbing it around with your fingers.

Kyle, as curious as ever, and now having some idea what to do, reached out and coated his own fingers in the lube, watching as his fingers glistened.

You smiled softly, watching as he seemed to remember what this was and what it did. Many people thought Kyle knew nothing, but it was more like he needed to be re-taught, because when he was faced with something familiar, it was obvious that his brain started to remember what he’d used it for when he was still alive.

Once his fingers were coated he brought them back to his sore hole, rubbing across it gently as he let out a quiet whine, watching you the whole time. He wasn’t the least bit embarrassed to have been walked in on doing something so private. He just loved you and always wanted you close.

One of his fingers breached his tight ring of muscles and he arched into it, letting it slip in fully as he moaned rather loudly. You were glad you were the only two in the academy at the moment, otherwise he would definitely be heard by the others.

“Mmm- g-good.” He groaned out, slipping a second finger easily into his hole, curling them a bit. It was hard for him to reach at the angle he was in, and soon he looked back at you, reaching with his free hand for the dildo still in your hand.

You placed it in Kyle’s hand and he slipped his fingers out of himself, holding the silicone with both hands. He leaned back to once again try to insert it into himself before you paused him.

“Wait, remember we have to make it nice and wet so it feels good.” You reminded gently, pouring a generous amount of lube onto the cock and rubbing it around before nodding at Kyle.

“Okay. Go ahead baby.”

It was obvious he enjoyed your help but wanted to do this himself. Maybe it was some way of getting control of himself back? Maybe he wanted to feel accomplished for something? You weren’t sure. All you knew was he was a sweaty, sticky mess in front of you and it was absolutely beautiful.

You watched as he slowly inserted the pink cock into his tight hole, his whole body arching into the feeling. God, this was beyond anything you’d ever fantasized about and you almost wanted to walk out and leave him to pleasure himself, but the second you stood up and walked to the door, Kyle let out a worried sound, eyes wide as he watched you helplessly.

“Nooo! Stay! T-touch K-Kyle-“ he spoke, gesturing to his hard, leaking cock. It was obvious he wanted to fuck himseld on the dildo, but it seemed he wanted your help in jerking off. 

You were all too happy to oblige. You made your way back to the bed where Kyle was arched like a cat, thrusting the dildo in and out of himself, his free hand clenching the bed sheets so tightly his knuckles turned white. 

You carefully wrapped your hand around his cock, still covered in lube which made it easier for you to jerk him, letting his heavy cock slide between your fingers.

Kyle was so overwhelmed. He was unsure if he should push back against the toy or arch into your touch to his cock. So he did both, rocking back and forth he moaned the loudest he had yet, eyes closed tightly as he threw his head back, his dirty blonde hair a mess.

You slid your thumb across the tip of his cock and he mewled, arching into the feeling as his breath shuddered. With the way he was breathing and the way his stomach tensed, you knew he was close.  

With a few more strokes over his cock he came hard, a lot all over your hand. He seemed to cum a lot more than a normal human, and you didn’t really have an explanation for that other then he just… did. 

He collapsed onto you, burying his face in the crook of your neck as he panted hard, his hot breath and drool smearing against your shirt and through it onto your skin as he came down from his high.

You gently reached behind him and helped him pull the toy out, causing a small cry to leave his lips at the loss of fullness. You set the toy down on the bed to be cleaned off later and just held your boy for several moments as he calmed down.

“T-thank you.” He spoke, voice still trembling a bit. He hadn’t came that hard since he’d been brought back to life, maybe even before that, but he couldn’t remember.

—————————————————————————

It was a few days after that that you had decided to take Kyle to go get his very own dildo. One just for him. Once you told him, he was all too excited, nearly bouncing off the walls as the two of you got your shoes and coats on. 

You got a taxi that delivered you into town before taking Kyle’s hand and walking around for a while.  You looked through some shop windows before finally arriving at your intended destination. A small, inconspicuous sex shop right on the edge of town. 

Kyle squeezed your hand tighter as he pulled you towards the door, urging you to walk in with him. 

A little bell above the door dinged announcing your arrival to anyone in the store. There was a young lady behind the counter who gave you a friendly smile before going back to flipping through a magazine.

The store was dimly lit but filled with all sorts of things. Vibrators, lube, dildos, literally any sex toy that ever existed. Several huge dildo’s lined the wall that had you questioning if they’d even feel good inside. We’re talking like 10+ inches. Ouch. 

Kyle's dark eyes widened as he looked around the store, taking in every detail before a certain wall of dildo’s caught his eye. He looked back at you before making his way there, clumsy hands reaching out to grab the first one that caught his eye. It was pale and not super girthy or long, but he knew it was perfect and he wanted that one. He was so proud and happy that he was finally getting his very own special toy.

You chuckled softly at seeing he found what he wanted so quickly. He held it up triumphantly to you, showing it off as he grinned, dimples popping. Why was he so adorable even in times like these? 

“T-try-“ he said, looking at you with a sort of desperation that told you you should pay quickly and get out of there before he ended up trying to take his pants off right in the damn store. You really never knew what would happen when Kyle was around. 

You nodded and waved him over, grabbing a few things that caught your eye. A small vibrator and a new bottle of lube for the two of you to share. 

You brought the items to the front and set them on the counter, the girl once again looking up from her magazine for a split second before closing it entirely and beginning to scan the items you set down.

“Find everything alright?” She asked, not looking up from what she was scanning as Kyle set the dildo down on the counter along with the things you had grabbed. 

“Yup! Thanks.” You gave a gentle smile, though she didn’t see it nor return it because her head was still bowed low. Good, the last thing you needed was for her to somehow recognize Kyle. He had been all over the news when he passed and surely she’d seen it. 

The total showed on the screen and you pulled out your cash from your wallet, handing it over to the woman as Kyle began to wander off in the store again, no doubt curious about everything there.

She bagged up your items and gave you your change, still never once looking up before she just went right back to her magazine. Odd, but you couldn’t really be bothered to care much. You were set on getting Kyle back home and settled.

He was waiting for you by the door, hand outstretched for the bag as he smiled. He was in a very good mood and no doubt excited to try his new toy the second you got home.

You handed the bag to him before opening the door, taking Kyle’s free hand in your own as you called for another Taxi that soon drove you back to the academy.

The drive back was almost completely silent, with Kyle looking out the window and seeing the passing places and people.

Thanking the cab driver, you paid and got out, Kyle following at your heels, bag still gripped in his hands as he hummed excitedly, fidgeting a bit as he followed after you. As luck would have it, you two were alone at the academy again, which meant that Kyle could be as loud as he wanted, which he would no doubt take full advantage of.

He set the bag down on the bed before beginning to undo his belt and the button on his jeans, trying to wriggle them off.

“Woah- eager are we?” You chuckled, looking at him as he stuck his tongue out in concentration before sliding the pants off his body, quickly followed by his boxers. 

To no one’s surprise, Kyle was already hard, cock jumping out from the confines of his boxers as he took it in his large hand and began to stroke over it as carefully as he could.

His other hand reached for the bag and dumped out the contents onto the bed. He furrowed his brows and looked curiously at the small bullet vibrator you’d gotten. He hadn’t been paying much attention to what you’d grabbed in the store.

Taking it in your hand, you took it out of the packaging and turned it on, a faint buzzing sound emanating from it as it shook lightly in your hand.

Kyle tilted his head curiously as he watched it buzz in your hand. He didn’t seem very familiar with it.

Moving slowly, you carefully placed the buzzing vibrator against his thigh first  to show him how it worked and how it felt. He jumped in surprise, glancing down at his lap curiously before looking back up at you. 

“T-touch. Hereee” he said, pulling your hand along with the vibrator onto the head of his leaking cock. The feeling was instant and Kyle bucked his hips, yelping in surprise as he watched it buzz against his cock. 

“Mmm- good- l-likeee.” He groaned softly, arching into the feeling to get more pressure on his cock. You grinned, pressing it down a bit more against him. 

He gripped onto your shoulder tightly, hard enough to leave bruises as he leaned on you for support, the feeling making his whole body shiver. Why hadn’t he tried this sooner was all he could think in the moment besides how good it felt.

He laid his head against your shoulder and watched as you dragged the vibrator across his cock, down to his balls. He giggled softly, the feeling pleasurable but ticklish, before you went back up. It went on like that for a while, up and down, up and down. The only sounds in the room were the faint buzzing sounds of the vibrator and Kyle’s pathetic whines of pleasure. 

Before you knew it, he was pushing the vibrator away with an almost panicked cry, pushing away from you as he settled himself. He was close, and it was obvious that he didn’t want the fun to end just yet.

You switched the vibrator off and set it down on the bed, reaching instead for the dildo that he’d bought, opening it and showing it to him.

Much to your surprise he took the tip of it into his mouth, suckling gently as he arched his hips up into nothing, and part of you wondered how many times he’d done this in life to be so familiar with it even now. 

Kyle pressed a few sloppy kisses to the tip before pulling away, looking back at you. “Y-you nowww.” He said, pushing the dildo away from his face. You found it a bit odd but thought he meant he wanted you to suck on it now, so you brought it up to your lips and was about to take the tip into your mouth before he stopped you.

“Nooooo! T-to Kyleeee” he huffed, glancing down at his hard cock. Oh. That made more sense.

You hadn’t actually blown him before. You’d given him a handful of handjobs and he’d fucked you maybe twice, so this was all still new territory for the two of you, and you wanted to go slow as to not trigger Kyle in any way. 

You brought your hand down to give him a few firm strokes before pressing a kiss to the tip of his cock. This drove Kyle wild by the way he groaned out, head falling back as he panted, hard.

You continued on, seeing this as a good sign as you suckled just the tip into your mouth, letting your tongue glide along the slit, ever so slightly dipping into it to collect the pre-cum forming.

Kyle whimpered this time, a much more pathetic sound then the ones he’d previously made as he arched his hips into the touch, urging you to take him deeper.

So, you did. It was obvious Kyle needed this and you wanted so badly to make him feel good. And also, you’d be lying if you said this didn’t turn you on just the tiniest bit. Maybe more than that…

Your lips slid down his cock, stretching as you went, the whole time Kyle’s moans urged you on as he gripped onto the bed, watching you as you swallowed him down before pulling off to take a breath.

Kyle watched you for a while, making quiet noises of pleasure that let you know you were doing it right, before his moans began to get increasingly louder and more desperate in tone. You popped off of him and wiped your mouth with the back of your hand, checking to make sure he was still doing okay.

He pulled you into a kiss without any warning, his large hands pawing at your clothes in what appeared to be a desperate attempt to get them off.

“M-moreeee” he whined, actually ripping your shirt on accident (probably not so much of an accident) before he continued to rip at the fabric, sliding it off of you and leaving your bra exposed to him. 

You took the hint and began to remove the rest of your clothing, slipping off your now nearly soaked panties as well as your bra.

Kyle let out a near animalistic groan at seeing your bare body, his hands coming up to rip his shirt off his body as well, tossing it onto the floor. He really needed to stop ripping all his clothing or he wouldn’t have anything to wear soon. 

He pulled you into a sloppy kiss, the two of you now fully nude. He ground against you a bit, moaning as his cock brushed between your thighs. He was beginning to grow impatient and wanted to try out his new toy, but also wanted to play around with you.

He grabbed the dildo and the bottle of lube and with your help, he lubed it up. He groaned impatiently as you took it away from him, lubing up your own fingers to help stretch him out. He was always so impatient that he just wanted to fuck himself on it immediately, even though he knew it’d be uncomfortable.

He stopped his protests the second your finger circled his hole before breaching it, the stretch a welcome pleasure to Kyle as he moaned out, arching into the feeling.

When you were three fingers deep in him he began to wriggle around impatiently before he pinned you to the bed, kissing and nipping at your shoulder as he positioned himself at your entrance.

“Oh we wanna do that now baby? Okay we can do that.” 

Kyle’s hands blindly reached around the bed, obviously looking for something before he found it, holding the dildo up for you to see as he urged you to take it.

“B-bothhh” he said, gesturing to the silicone cock before his own. You weren’t exactly sure what he meant, but you figured you had a pretty good idea.

Kyle positioned himself back over you as he clumsily placed his tip at your entrance before pushing in, burying his face in the crook of your neck as your warm, tight walls enveloped his cock completely, like a snug blanket.

You looked at the dildo in your hands, arching your back a bit as he began to thrust into you with no warning. 

Making sure it was still decently lubed up, you reached behind him until it was positioned as his hole, causing him to freeze and arch back into the feeling.

“Is this what you want, Kyle?” You asked, teasing him with the dildo, not pushing it into him just yet.

“Yessss- p-pleaseee” he groaned out, back arching further to try and get it inside his needy hole. 

You slowly slowly slipped it inside him. Well, as slowly as you could with the way that his hole sucked it in, wanting more more more until it was fully inside him. 

He stayed still for several moments, the overwhelming feeling of his cock being buried deep inside your warmth and the dildo being buried inside him was almost too much.

Slowly but surely he began to rock back and forth, thrusting his cock into you before pulling back and leaning into the silicone cock.

This was heaven for him, he’d never felt anything better and never wanted it to end, although he already felt close so it would unfortunately come to an end sooner rather than later for the boy.

His thrusts were rough and bordering on painful, but the slap of his pelvis against your clit was just enough to make the experience pleasurable. He was using you for his own pleasure and it was honestly one of the hottest things you’d seen. He was definitely coming into his body more as time went on, and in times like this it was very obvious. 

“MmmGahH… Good.” He groaned out, dirty blonde hairs falling in front of his cute eyes as he rocked back and forth against you.

You tried your best to thrust the dildo in and out of his hole, but with the way he was pounding into you, it made it a bit difficult. No matter for Kyle though, he was finding his pleasure just fine by rocking back against it. 

His body began to shake subtly and you knew he was close by the way his hands held your shoulders tight enough to leave bruises. No matter, you enjoyed it too much to tell him to stop.

His thrusts became more erratic as he lost his rhythm, chasing his pleasure in an attempt to feel the sweet release his body so badly craved.

You weren’t far behind. The rough stimulation to your clit causing surges of pleasure to rush through your body and you would no doubt fall over the edge the second he did, if not sooner.

“C-closeee” Kyle groaned out, words barely intelligible as he lost himself to the pleasure. He gave a few more weak thrusts before stilling inside you. You felt the warmth of his release coat your walls thickly and you came as well, your own body arching up against his.

It took the both of you a few moments to gain back your composure but when you did you slid the toy out of his hole, gently setting it down to be cleaned and put away later. Kyle stayed inside you, putting almost all his body weight on you as he caught his breath. You let out a soft laugh, all the air in your lungs getting squeezed out the more weight Kyle put on you.

“Kyle- you’re squishing me-“ you choked out, and Kyle, despite how tired he was, slipped out of you and collapsed next to you on the bed before wrapping you in his arms.

He peppered kisses to the top of your head and clumsily played with your hair, smiling like the big dope he was as his eyelids began to flutter slowly.

“S-sleep nowww” he spoke, closing his eyes and pulling you impossibly closer as a yawn escaped his mouth. He felt asleep not a minute later, his soft snores music to your ears. Once you were sure he was really asleep you slipped out of his grip to get up and use the bathroom as well as clean yourself up. You looked at the boy sleeping on your bed. Sweaty, naked, hair all in his face and smiling in his sleep. He was so precious and as time went on you were sure he’d get even better at communicating his needs and wants but for now, this was a good start. 

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

In Bloom 4

No tag lists. Do not send asks or DMs about updates. Review my pinned post for guidelines, masterlist, etc.

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as noncon/dubcon, allusions to trauma, and possible untagged elements. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: After wasting much of your youth in a toxic situation, things are starting to look up. That’s until you meet a certain flower seller.

Characters: Cole Turner, short!reader

Note: It's deluluday.

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me.

Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!) Please do not just put ‘more’. I will block you.

I love you all immensely. Take care. 💖

You sit on the floor in the corner, your arms across your knees, your head on top of them. That’s how you used to be. Cowering, waiting for things to go quiet again. 

Aunt Bev finds you after dinner. She knocks on the door but you don’t answer. You can’t. She lets herself in, “honey, I’m just checking on you.” Her tone is cautious as you listen to her soft steps. She nears and squats down before you. “You okay?” 

You nod but don’t raise your head. You don’t have the strength to lie out loud. 

“Well, everyone’s gone now. Doing their own thing.” She lowers herself to sit down across from you. You tilt your head up at her, peeking out from behind your arms. “Do you want the rest of your dessert?” 

You shake your head. 

“It’s in the fridge if you change your mind. Are you embarrassed?” She asks. 

You push your lower lip out and furrow your brows, “embarrassed?” 

“Why did you run away?” She coaxes gently. She’s not like your mom, she doesn’t accuse you. 

“I was...” you think. You’re not entirely sure why. In the moment, you just felt the need to get away. To be alone. “Afraid, maybe...” 

“Afraid? Of us?” 

“No,” you sniff. 

“Of Cole?” She sounds even more stunned. 

“Not really,” you hunch further down. 

“Then what was so scary, honey? Too many people?” She offers a sympathetic smile. 

“Mhmm,” you nod. “That must’ve been it.” 

“Well, that’s okay. I’m glad you could separate yourself from an overwhelming situation.” She considers you. “But... you shouldn’t be on the floor like this. Come on,” she stands with a grown and rubs her lowers back. “You should get your pajamas on and lay down.” She offers her hand and you accept it. She helps you up and takes you to the bed. “Why don’t you get changed and I’ll bring you some chamomile?” 

“Sure,” you squeak as she lets you go. 

Before she leaves, she takes out a pair of striped pajama pants and a loose camisole for you. You wait until the door shuts. You switch out the skirt and blouse for the plain cotton. You fold the borrowed clothes up nicely and put them on the dresser. 

She knocks again before she enters. She sets a mug down on a coaster she brought with her. You thank her and hang your head as you sit on the edge of the mattress. 

“Sure you’re alright? You wanna talk?” She offers. 

You stare at your arm and shift it. You examine the scars across your skin, most of them faded, and you touch them with your thumb. You shudder and sit up a bit straighter. 

“Yes. Aunt Bev...” you gulp. You don’t know how to say what you’re thinking. 

She turns and sits next to you. 

“Am I messed up?” You ask at last. 

“Honey...” she reproaches gently. “Don’t say that.” 

“I am. I know it. My mom always said so.” 

“Yes, well she was wrong about a lot of things,” she says more firmly. 

“Other people... don’t have scars. They don’t do this to themselves.” You exhale and hide your face, “other people have parents who love them. They’re normal. Like Lena and Mason... and Cole.” 

She shifts closer but doesn’t touch you. She’s careful of that since you screamed at her for tapping your shoulder. It wasn’t meant to hurt you but it did. 

“You are not messed up,” she insists. “Do you hear me? You are tough. You’re strong. Resilient. Not everyone’s been through what you’ve been through, that doesn’t mean you’re wrong or bad or anything. It means you survived.” 

Your eyes tingle and you swallow again. “You’re just saying that.” 

“No, I mean it. I know it. It’s okay to be you, honey. It’s okay to need time, to need space, but you also can’t hide forever.” 

“Yeah...” 

“But you can have your moments. You’re allowed to do that. So, you’re going to have your tea and get a good night’s sleep, and tomorrow you’re going to take it easy. I don’t want you to do a thing but relax. No chore. If I come home to a full dishwasher, I swear...” 

You chuckle at her false threat. She can be funny. If it was your mom, she would be screaming at you for the opposite. Then she would raise her arm and—No, don’t think about that. 

“And next weekend, when you’re feeling better, we’ll go to Cole’s to see all his flowers. Just you and me.” 

“Cole’s?” You utter. 

“Yeah. It’ll be okay. You’ll have lots of time between now and then and I’m sure you’ll want some new stuff to put in the garden. It’ll be a lot less busy than the market.” She explains. 

You think about it. She’s right. The market is always crowded and loud. And you can’t really say no. You feel bad making her go alone when she’s asking. 

“You’re not going to ditch your aunt, are ya? I know I’m old and boring.” She chuckles. 

“I’ve never been to a farm,” you say at last. 

“Really? Oh, honey, well, it’ll be lots of fun. And if you like it, there’s a place down the highway and they do berry picking. We can make another afternoon of that some time.” She leans in and gently brushes against you. “You know, I just like getting to spend time with my niece.” 

You smile and look at her. Your eyes glaze over and you blink away the hot swell. You sit up straight and nod, “thank you, Aunt Bev.” 

“No, thank you! You’re great company. I’m so lucky to have you, honey.” She stands up slowly and stretches. “You enjoy your tea. I’ve got to go get your uncle to take that trash out. I swear, I’ve told him six times today.” 

“Okay, thanks, er... good night.” 

“Good night, honey,” she returns as she rounds the foot of the bed.  

The door shuts behind you and you heave out a breath. The bittersweet moment dulls to melancholy. Why couldn’t Aunt Bev have been your mother? Why did you have to survive? Why couldn’t you have just been like your cousins? As nice as she is, you know you’re different. Not just in how you act but how she treats you. 

💮

The days flow like water, rippling steadily on. You spend the sunlight out in the garden or reading in your bedroom, coming out only to help your aunt or have a meal. You don’t like to feel in the way and with not much else to do with yourself, it’s hard not to think you are. 

You try not to think about the weekend. As it looms closer, you hope that Aunt Bev forgot, or pray that something comes up. It doesn’t and time goes by as it always has.  

Saturday arrives and you wake earlier. It’s not excitement, more anxiety. You think about that night Cole came over and that question rings in your head. Are you embarrassed? Should you have been? Running away isn’t exactly admirable, is it? 

You don’t put much thought into what you wear. You only really care if it’s clean. Before, most of your wardrobe was wrinkly and musty. Clean laundry is another luxury in your bright new life. Another simplicity that seems so much more than it should. 

A floral tee shirt and a pair of loose capris. As you try to get your hair under control, Aunt Bev calls through your door. You heard her wake up about an hour ago, then you smelled the coffee. 

You cross the room and open the door. She smiles, “you remembered?” 

You nod and gnaw on your dread. 

“That’s a cute shirt,” she says. “It’s going to be a hot day, sure you don’t wanna put on a skirt or some shorts?” 

“I’m okay.” you insist. “What time are we leaving?” 

“Give me about an hour to get myself straight,” she says. “You take your time, hon.” 

She goes and you retreat behind the door. You take out a loosely crocheted sweater and pull it on. It’s thin enough it won’t suffocate, and the sleeves will distract from your arms. 

You sit and try to read. It’s hard to focus. You end up rocking in place until Bev returns. You follow her to the front door and put on your sneakers. You sit in the passenger’s seat with a basket of muffins in your lap. You helped bake them last night but you didn’t know they were a gift. 

The drive is long. You slump in the seat and watch the city buildings turn sparse and the fields of tall grass and wheat rise in their stead. Between the crops stretch wide plateaus of tilled soil. Bev stops and tuts as she idles along the apron of the dirt road. 

“I think I’m going the right way but we’re in a dead zone. No signal.” She frowns at the GPS in the dashboard. “He said left... then...” she mutters to herself. “Ah, right. I think I got it.” 

She pulls back onto the empty road and you fidget. Maybe she’ll get lost and you’ll have to turn back. Maybe, maybe, maybe. 

She turns onto a gravel offshoot and your chest goes heavy. No turning back now. A farmhouse appears, a large barn as well, and further back, another roof, though you can’t make out much of the building. The fields are lush and a wooden fence marks the property line. 

Aunt Bev drives up behind a truck and shuts off the engine. She undoes her belt and you do the same. She gets out and you do your best not to spill the muffins as you mirror her. You hear a clatter and look over as Cole emerges from the front door of the two-storey house. 

“Ah, you’re here! Ma’s been waiting,” he tramps down the steps. He wears a plain white tea with some dirt along the left side and a pair of blue jeans, his tan work boots clomping on the wood. He approaches Bev and hugs her. You hover around the other side of the car. 

He turns to you and smiles. “Hey.” 

You nod and hug the basket in one arm and give a small wave. 

“Anyway--” 

You stalk forward and push the basket towards him, “Aunt Bev made these.” 

You sound stupid. You don’t know why you blurted it out like that. His brows pop up and he reaches to take the basket. His hands brush yours and you wince. The basket bobbles but he gets a hold of it as you recoil. 

“Oh, don’t be so humble. She did most of the work,” Bev beams. “I can’t wait to meet your ma.” 

“Dad will be back soon. He agreed to man the stall today. We’ll see how that goes,” he says and backs up. He beckons you both forward as he angles to the side. “Come on, no use sweating out here in this heat.” 

Bev leads the way. You’re happy she does. You always feel awkward in other peoples’ houses. Even hers. 

Cole follows you and quickly flits around Bev to open the door for her. He grins as you trail behind her, passing him closely. You step inside and he girds you to keep your shoes on. 

“No use, all the dirty blows in anyway.” He says, “just straight down. She’s in the kitchen I think.” 

Bev continues on, slowly, pausing to admire the decor. The framed photos and the cross-stitched pictures. You feel Cole lurking behind you. 

“Ah, you must be Beverly?” A woman screeches as you aunt passes through the doorway. 

“Jill, is it?” Bev replies, “I’ve heard so much.” 

“Oh, me too. Cole told me all about you.” The women embrace each other like old friends. As the part, Cole’s mom, you assume, spots you standing in the doorframe. “Oh and this must be your niece? That’s it, right?” 

Cole introduces you by name and his timbre tickles your spine. Something about the way he says it tingles. His mother storms you with her arms wide open. Bev stutters and watches with wide eyes as she turns around and Cole swiftly shields you with a hand, stopping his mother with a touch of her shoulder. 

“Ma, she’s not much of a hugger. Remember? We talked about this.” 

“I’m so sorry. It’s habit,” she wrings her hands. “I just... I was excited. You just tell me when I’m too much, honey pie.” 

“It’s-- it’s okay.” You assure her. A knot of guilt ties inside your stomach. You wish you weren’t this way. That people didn’t have to tread as if the floor were covered in glass. 

“They brought muffins,” Cole says and offers up the basket. “Carrot?” 

“Some carrot, some apple,” Bev explains proudly. 

Jill accepts the basket and takes a whiff. 

“Delicious. I bet they are fabulous with a bit of warming and butter. You like tea, Bevvy?” Jill trills. 

“Oh, that sound wonderful,” your aunt agrees and hesitates, glancing back at you. 

“Well, I promised I'd show her the gardens, so if you two wanna chat?” Cole suggests, “unless you’d like us to wait and you can come along, Bev?” 

“No, no, please. She’s so excited to see the flowers. Go on, honey,” Bev smiles and flutters her fingers.  

You stare at her, helpless. You tuck your chin down and turn to Cole. He shifts his weight, “or did you want to stay and have tea?” 

You shake your head. You don’t want to spoil this for Aunt Bev. She deserves a friend her own age. A real friend, not her sad niece. 

“I’ll come see the flowers,” you murmur. 

[snowy-vee]

ALL MINE: Hidden Scene (2)

CHECK MY PINNED POST!

DAILY CLICK!!!!

Chapter 3: Abby vs Ellie Fight Scene

(…)“It’s pretty much her name and physic description, yeah,” Ellie licked her lips, nodding slowly.

“Does anyone know where Abby is right now?”

Ellie was furious, she was not going to let her ruin your reputation, she did not cared if you were unbothered by it. She was and that was enough to make her storm in the gym lockers where there was the team around Abby and her phone.

“Everybody out!” She screamed slamming her palm in one of the lockers to make noise, the girls that were there quickly grabbed their things and ran for their lives. Yes, Ellie was a loser socially but she also was know for beating up people who wronged you and she never lost. “Except you”

“I was not going to” Abby chuckled getting up from the bench “She sent you here to beat me up or you just like to act like her guardian dog? You shouldn’t waist your breath in a bitch like her”

Ellie’s punch connected with Abby’s face. No hesitation. Just punched her right in the face, that hurt, but she was so angry of she badmouthing you that she barely felt anything. Abby, caught off guard, raised her arms to shield her face from barrage of punches kept throwing and the moment she saw an opening, aimed a precise kick Ellie’s stomach and pushed her making her trip on the bench.

She did not waist time tackling Ellie putting her leg on top of her back pressing her onto the bench, grabbed her arm and twisted it behind her back with her leg. Ellie screamed and shaked trying to break to free.

“You’re truly pathetic, this is the second time I steal something from you and a girl too! You don’t know how to protect was yours, huh?”

“You’re a liar! She told me nothing happened between you too”

“And you believed her? She’s a whore, here! Tell me that’s not her” With her right hand she grabbed Ellie’s hair and pulled her hair up and with her left hand she showed her some compromising pictures that YOU sent to her, that was your user, your face, your body… you lied to her and now she looked like a clown fighting to defend you.

She was so furious but more disappointed that you, one of her most important people on her world, would do this and then she had the memory of that day years ago when she was so excited to go see her first girlfriend, Cat, at her house and Cat “butt-dialed” her

“Cat! I am on my way, well, I am in my house now, I left early, I was going to call you-”

“…¿And what about your girlfriend? I don’t think little Els would like this”

“She doesn’t have to know, anyway I was planning on leave her soon”

“Is that so?”

“Because you like me, right? I’ve been seeing how you check out Ellie’s best friend time to time, I don’t like that”

“Can you blame me? She’s hot”

“Don’t.”

“Why not? You’re still with Ellie, I want to be part of the group too, hell, Imagine I get with the girlfriend and best friend.

“Don’t even joke about it, I will leave Ellie, in fact I’ll do it today, we are going to hang out later… I used to like her a lot at the start but she’s so clingy and there’s the bestie who’s clearly in love with her and Ellie seems to not see that”

“…Are you on a call or something? Your phone is on”

“No… Omg, Ellie?-” Ellie hanged up as soon as she was discovered, her phone fell from her hands, she went to the bathroom to look at herself. Eyes ready to shed tears, she punched the mirror and the scream because of the pain of her hand and her heart.

She punched again, more pain but not as she was feeling on her chest, she couldn’t breath well, she was hyperventilating. She didn’t know what to do, she wanted to hide, she wanted to beat up Abby, she wanted to… She needed you, she needed someone that she could feel safe.

She ran out of her house and kept running until she got to your house, knocking hard, you ran downstairs opening the door kind of scared because who was knocking like a maniac when you were alone at home, but soon that feel became worry as you saw that was Ellie with blood on her.

She threw herself on you, hugging you hard sobbing, you closed the door as you asked hee what happend but it wasn’t until she relaxed a little bit that you could take her to your room and make her sit on your bed while you wen search a first aid kit on the bathroom.

You could hear her mumbles but nothing clear, you couldn’t make something out of it, you had to clean her wounds first. You sighed returning on the room, she was still crying but less than before, you did your job in silence sat in the bed besides her, not making eye contact with her, only saying “sorry” as she winced or made sounds of pain.

“Can you explain to me what happened really?”

“Abby stole something important from me…”

“What Abby? Anderson? That fucking loser? Ellie, I will beat her ass and make her return to you whatever she took ¡Let’s fucking go, rigth now!” You got up from the bed ready to go outside in your pajamas bu Ellie grabbed your hand shooking her head.

“I don’t want it anymore…”

“What else happened? You’re not telling me everything, rght?”

“Please, I just want to rest…” Her broken voice made you roll eyes and sit again caressing her hair. It broke your heart to see her like this.

“Let’s have a sleepover! I’ll call Joel to let him know and I’ll lend you some pajamas… I think you left one the last time, my mom must have cleaned it, let me search first on my drawers” You went to your drawer searching for the pajama. “Maybe it’s downstairs with the clean clothes, wait here! I’ll make popcorn, call Joel, bring the pajama and come back!”

As you went downstars, Ellie’s eyes followed you with Cat’s words passing briefly on her mind ¿Were you in love with her? No way… Ellie knew you were loyal to her as her bestfriend, that you would be there for her no matter what, that you would love her forever and that she would so the same but what if you two ended up as a couple and Abby steal you from her? Abby said to have interest in you, no, she couldn’t take that, she wasn’t that strong.

So, even if you were, Ellie was going to play dumb. If you tried to make advances on her or flirt outside of the friendly kind, she was going to act oblivious, dismissing you everytime you tried to confess changing topics, being clear that her type was the opposite of you and more because as a best friend you couldn’t betray another.

You came back with everything you said and later you two started watching a movie on your laptop. “You don’t like Abby, right? In any way I mean”

She interrupted the silence, you looked at her shooking your head. “Nope and I dislike her more for making you cry”

“You would never have anything with her, right? promise me, promise me, promise me” There it was again her hurt voice.

“Ellie, don’t cry anymore, I promise on our friendship that I will never ever ever do that to you”

You kissed her forehead and kept watching the movie, ellie was satisfied and she finally could feel in peace.

All that memory made her more overwhelmed by anger, with her head she hit Abby on the head and broke free and the fight continued until some teacher stepped in between them two , attempting to diffuse the situation and send them both home.

Ellie didn’t know if she trust herself to drive back home but she did anyways trying to control her breathing, you broke your promise, you broke her friendship, he trust and mostly her heart.

taglist;; @boobdrug @lovelyxbaby @pedropascalsbbg@cherryimaa @yumimak @amberputh @cattjull @carylinflors @ghostlyfangs @teawithnosugar @azxulaa @elliesexual @gato-chino @divinesdior @yumimak @abbystoy @gosomewjere @isitadinosaur

for people who asked me to be tag but it's not, sorry, it's not letting me tag you, I'll try later or next chapter <3

[just-wrting]

Definitely a Little Jealous

Title: Definitely a Little Jealous

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x Reader

Summary: During a case, you can’t seem to be left alone by one officer. Hotch takes matters into his own hands and shows that you’re not available.

Word Count: 2109

Master List

A/N: This was finished on Friday but I had no laptop to put the post together with over the weekend so here it is! A part 2/companion piece to my first Hotch piece!

Part 1

Yesterday marked six months into your relationship with Aaron Hotchner. After the case, you had gotten breakfast with him and it had quickly gone from there. Within only a few weeks, you had made yourselves official between the two of you. Neither of you said anything to the team. It wasn’t that either of you necessarily cared, but more if there was no need to announce it. They could figure it out on their own.

There were times that Hotch did his best to make sure that other people knew you were off limits. Standing behind you when people are looking at your ass, putting himself between you and others when they stand just a little too close, and even pressing his lips to your forehead when someone won’t stop pestering you. It was always the subtle things that kept people from hitting on you. Aaron’s an intimidating man as best and a scary one at worst.

You aren’t really scared of what he would do to the guys hitting on you. Scare them off, intimidate them, maybe threaten them a little but you figure that he’s just being overly worried. After all, you know about what’s happened to him, and you’re sure he doesn’t want to go through that again. Even if it’s just some other guy managing to whisk you away.

“So, agent, if we’re going to work on this case together, maybe we should know each other a little better. There’s this place I know that’s small and local, not to mention it’s amazing.”

You look up at the officer leaning on the table. His hand is spread all over the file you are reading. You wish he would leave you alone already, considering this was the third time he’d tried to ask you out.

“I’m actually super busy right now. Given that there is a serial killer out there and all, I think you should be busy too.”

Hotch walks in. The officer doesn’t even look up at him, instead choosing to give you an expectant look. You can tell that Hotch isn’t very happy with what’s going on. There’s a man trying to prove himself as an “alpha male” by harassing you and ignoring Hotch. Not only is the man impeding the investigation, he’s trying to get with you.

“What’s going on here?” Hotch’s voice makes sure that the officer looks at him.

Before the officer can speak, you answer him. “Nothing. Officer Jones was just leaving.”

The officer's hand crumples the paper it’s on before he stalks off. He certainly wasn’t happy about being interrupted. Not that you cared. You shouldn’t need to flaunt being in a relationship to be left alone.

“Was he bothering you?” Aaron asks mainly to be polite. He already knows the answer.

You lean back in the chair and rub your temples. This officer is pissing you off with his insistence. No matter how many times you say no, he doesn’t listen.

“We both know he is. I wish he’d leave me alone already but it’s not like I can just tell him I have a boyfriend without him asking for proof. I know cause he’s already asked for a picture of him.”

Aaron makes his way over to you and stands behind the chair. His hands run up your arms and grab onto your shoulders. He starts to slowly rub your shoulders and you lean your head into his stomach.

You’ve spent this whole case craving his touch. It’s not that he has been avoiding you, you’ve just been so busy. So much to look into with so little time.

“Aaron?” You ask and he hums in response. “God, I’ve missed just having you touch me.”

He chuckles and gives the top of your head a kiss. “I’ve missed you too. And don’t worry about Officer Jones. I’ll be taking care of him.”

As he says that, you hear the ice in his voice. He’s not pleased about this guy and you know he’s got a million ideas about taking care of him. This most likely ranges from giving him a lecture to the more extreme of giving this man a whole new job that wouldn’t be anything near a woman.

“I know you will, Aaron. If you had your way, you’d make sure that man probably never sees a woman again in his life.”

He doesn’t say anything, but gives your shoulders one last squeeze. You know he’d do a lot for you and yet, you want to ask him to stay just a moment longer. He would, and that’s the thing that would give it all away.

Rossi sticks his head through the door before you can ask anything of Aaron. “I’ll meet you in the car, Hotch. Don’t take too much longer bossing (Y/N) around.”

After Rossi’s head vanishes, you finally ask, “Can I sleep in your room tonight? I don’t think I can keep sleeping by myself.”

Aaron gives you a peck on the cheek as he answers, “You don’t even have to ask.”

With that, your boyfriend walks out the door to join the rest of the team while you sit and look at files. Well most of the team is off poking around various sites and talking to various people, one of them isn’t. You know just what to do to, hopefully, keep officer creepy away.

“Speak and you shall be heard.”

You give a smile as Garcia’s voice comes from the speaker of your phone. She was always there for whatever you needed and you were so happy to hear her voice.

“Garcia, honey, thank you so much for picking up,” you say with relief.

You can hear her smile through the phone, “This isn’t Agent Morgan’s phone number. Did he make you say such sweet things to me, (Y/N)?”

“Oh my technological goddess, can you please just keep me company?” You hear her giggle. “There’s this officer who won’t leave me alone so I figured if there’s another voice maybe he’ll leave me alone.”

You can picture her sitting up straighter and giving a frown. “Which one would this be?”

“Oh Garcia, you don’t have to look into this guy. Hotch already said he’d take care of it.”

You hear her scribble on a pad, no doubt to tell Hotch about making sure you don’t get left behind to be around creeps. “I’ll just ask Hotch later then. Speaking of the devil himself, did you hear the news? Hotch has a mystery lover.”

You pause. So everyone had figured out that Aaron Hotchner was in a new relationship. The only question you had is how many of the team had figured out it was you.

“Oh really? Do spill your reasoning, gossip queen.”

You kept your focus on the files as Garcia talked. You couldn’t let her distract you, even if you wanted to hear everything she was saying. The case came first, the gossip came second.

“Well, he’s been smiling a lot more. At first I didn’t think he was capable of smiling and then I thought maybe he was losing it. But the key thing is, it would usually be at his phone. As if someone was telling him funny things. He never really laughed though so I figured it had to be he was in love.”

“Uh huh. So Hotch has the ability to smile. A fascinating concept.”

Her little ‘hmph’ comes through the phone. “Okay how about this. I was late leaving the office one night and went to leave something on his desk. He’s always there so it wasn’t a surprise when his light was on, but the surprise is that I heard a voice come through his phone. A voice that he said ‘I love you’ to. And I know it wasn’t Jack’s voice.”

She got you there. Aaron is a man who doesn’t say that to many people. It was actually just over a week ago and it was the first time he had told you that.

“Okay, okay. You win. Hotch has a mystery lover that he’s hiding.”

You hear her phone ring and she puts you on hold. You want to spill the beans but you opt to carefully consider what you’ll say next. Maybe having her give an idea of the sort of person he’d now be with would be fun.

A voice behind you spoke up. “Talking about your boss like that, agent?”

You turn the chair around and look at Office Jones. “Actually I was just having a member of my team keep me company. I’ve found three possible suspects. What have you managed to do?”

“How about this, you go out with me. And I don’t tell your boss about this.”

You see Hotch enter the room. “Office Jones, we need to stop meeting like this. What information are you blackmailing my agent about?”

You hear Garcia start to say something but you cut her off. “I called Garcia in an effort to have Officer Jones leave me alone. The topic turned to work gossip about you having a new relationship.”

Garcia profusely apologizes through the phone. “I’m so sorry sir. I was just trying to keep her company and know that your personal life is not for any of us to speculate on. I shouldn’t have taken up a half hour of Agent (Y/N)’s time.”

With that, Garcia disconnects. You know it’s not her fault and you feel bad. Aaron might scold her about it later, but you plan on doing your best to make sure that he doesn’t.

“Officer Jones, I’m going to tell you this only once. If you come near my agent ever again, it will be your last action as an officer. Do I make myself clear?” Aaron’s face is set and his gaze is cold.

You’re hoping Officer Jones will back down but he doesn’t seem keen on doing so. You know you should be bothered by Aaron trying to not fight this guy over his disrespect but you can’t help but get flustered. Hotch being jealous, even a little possessive, is hot.

“Here.” Hotch hands you a little box. “Originally I was going to give it to you yesterday but then we got the case. My next plan was to wait until we got home but I suppose now is a better time.”

The box is a little fuzzy and you immediately know it’s jewelry. It must be a gift for your six month anniversary, but Aaron must have brought it with him on the case.

“You didn’t have to bring it with you,” you protested. “The gift I got you is still sitting at my apartment. And this better not be expensive or I’ll have you hold onto to it for a more special time.”

You open the box anyway. Inside sits a simple gold necklace. The simple gold chain holds a round locket that when you pop open, contains a picture of Aaron and Jack together. When you twist it in your fingers, you feel Aaron’s and your own initials.

“Oh my god. This had to have been expensive,” you whisper. “Aaron, how could you? We agreed on a maximum price.”

Officer Jones looks between the two of you and scoffs. “This is your little boyfriend you won’t show me pictures of?”

Aaron takes the necklace out of the box and clasps it around your neck. You can feel your face get warm and you really wish that it hadn’t come to him being so open about what you were to him. Not that you could’ve stopped him.

“Now if you don’t mind,” Aaron gives Jones a harsh look, “if you even think about disrupting any of my agents while we work on this case, I will be having a word with your superior. Is that understood?”

Jones glances at you before turning and walking out of the room. Rossi walks in to take his place and gives a glance over his shoulder at the officer. The three of you stand in silence for a moment.

“Well glad that got sorted out without a fight. I was worried you might hit him, Hotch. You haven’t been too subtle about your feelings,” Rossi comments with a grin. “I’m not gonna tell the others but I know I will be a little bit richer once you do.”

You put your hands over your face while Rossi’s grin gets even bigger. Aaron sighs and gives him a pointed look that has no effect on the older man. The three of you only start moving once the others start to walk in and wonder what’s going on.

[thehottiesknoweren]

Keep that toxic ass love

“If that’s the way you love then i don’t want any of that shit”

Choso x reader

Tw: toxic relationship, breaking in and entering, smut (poorly written sorry), choso breaking shit/destroying stuff and overall needing therapy, mentions of pregnancy ( barely even there dw)

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

It was a regular Saturday for you.

Cleaning,

Cooking,

And fighting with choso.

You sighed as he kept blowing up your phone, he was cursing your out one minute and professing his love the next and honestly it was exhausting,

Last night you went to a party with your friend and posted you having fun on your story, drinking, smoking and just being a vibe.

You and Choso hadn’t been speaking to each other for at least a week, you guys were on a break, Or more like he was on a break and you were just done with his ass completely.

After viewing your story he spammed your phone with a bunch of nonsense which you didn’t reply to and simply just blocked him.

That was a mistake.

Ten minutes later he was at your house slashing your tires, and then he quickly drove away when he was done.

He then messaged you from a different number rambling again which you also blocked but that didn’t stop him.

No.

He just kept getting new numbers and you decided to feed into him a little because why wouldn’t you if he wasn’t going to leave you alone?

Choso: people who love each other don’t go out with other people while they’re just taking a break from the one they love.

Y/n: you used the wrong “they’re” it’s *their* 💀

Y/n: someone who loved you wouldn’t care about that yet I do doesn’t that tell you something goofy?

After sending that message you blocked his number again and put down your phone but who would’ve guessed this man got a new damn number.

“Text now need to take away his damn subscription or some shit damn” you yelled to yourself.

Choso: you don’t love me yet that’s all you could say when you were creaming on my dick huh? Lying ass bitch.

Y/n: never creamed on your dick. The orgasms you gave me were so weak they wouldn’t have been enough to cover the tip. All that dick yet you don’t know how to use that shit…. And how you love me but ima bitch? I see why your mother didn’t want your bipolar ass. Leave me alone don’t you got better things to do?

Y/n: And another thing, yes I don’t love you. That left last month when you thought it was okay to buss out my windows and made me cut up my thighs piece of shit. I wish you were swallowed.

Choso: I paid for the window and kissed every scar I left on your body. I didn’t mean for it to go that far, I just blacked out,

Choso: I know I’m acting crazy but I need you baby, I need my baby give me another chance I’ll get help I’ll make it right,

Y/n: Every time I do you hurt me. Do you know how much shit you’ve done to me? Choso I’ll probably never be with another man and I know that makes you happy but it shouldn’t, you’ve hurt me so bad, physically, emotionally and verbally I can’t even want a relationship. Just stop coming around I don’t need you.

He stopped texting you after this and you went to go lay down in your bedroom, sobbing in the process.

You knew deep down you loved him and wanted to be with him, he’s all you knew.

He’s the first person to explore your body and teach you what feeling good in bed meant, he was the first person to take you on dates, shopping sprees and wouldn’t let you lift a finger when you didn’t feel good, he always took care of you, did you lie earlier to hurt his ego? Yes but you had to.

Because he was also the person who slut shamed you, insulted you, broke into your house, broke everything you owned, just a few weeks ago he cut up most of your clothes that he didn’t like and burnt them, he also never knew when he was wrong and would blow the smallest thing out of proportion when you proved him wrong saying you were ungrateful.

And do you know how he solved all of this?

Sex and shopping spree’s

but to be honest you were pretty sure the sex was for him. He would destroy your health in every possible way and then he would only opt to take you shopping and then after that he would get you into the bedroom and fuck you until you were crying his name and spewing affirmations of love.

And you couldn’t take that anymore. Everyone told you that you deserved more than a man who only offered you sex and money, and although you didn’t really believe them and wanted to be with Choso you noticed that being around him only hurt you

As you were deep in thought you weren’t aware that your breathing was heavy and you were sobbing, you were having a panic attack.

The bed sunk down and a pair of hands wrapped around your stomach, you knew exactly who it was

“it’s okay” he whispered in your ear trying to calm you down.

“Choso I can’t do this with you anymore” you said. Your breathing got a little calmer, “I-I’ve been going to therapy and-“

He cut you off, “you know how I feel about that shit, why would you go?” he was getting mad so you got up out of the bed,

“That’s why. Look at the way you act” you said, also getting a bit mad and confused because he just said he would go to be with you but at last it was probably another meaningless lie spewing from his lips.

“I’m sorry that I act that way but it’s because I love you, I get mad because I love you and don’t want to lose you, it’s like when I see you doing things I don’t like I get angry and black out because I’m scared of losing you but I’m not realizing the things I do are causing me to lose you” he got up and tried to hold your waist but you pulled away.

“If that’s the way you love then i don’t want any of that shit” you looked him dead in the face letting him know you meant what you said, “if your love is you hurting me any time we argue then keep it choso” you broke eye contact because you could feel yourself starting to cry.

You felt him wrap his arms around you but you didn’t stop him, he begin to place kisses on your forehead while holding you in his arms, “I’m sorry baby, please don’t cry my love” you could hear him sniffing and looked into his eyes to see tears there too,

Suddenly he picked you up and laid you on the bed quickly getting on top of you and laying down. He kissed your chin and kept saying how sorry he was while keeping his arms wrapped around your body.

You didn’t respond but you didn’t stop him and after a while you two just laid there in silence, not a word from either of you until he decided to speak again, “I’d do anything for moments like this, moments I get to hold you” he started kissing your neck,

“Choso we can’t keep doing this, if you say you’re gonna change than do it. I can’t wait for you much longer”

He stopped kissing your neck and looked at you with a smile, he knew you were giving him a second chance, “I will baby I promise.” He kissed you passionately amd you couldn’t help but be happy,

His kiss begin to go lower and he slowly made his way back to your neck, he took his time sucking on every area his lips touched,

And his lips kept getting lower and lower until he made it to the end of the bed, he was quick to take off the skimpy satin nightgown you had on, underneath it was just you in panties no bra,

He quickly stood up and started to take off his belt and as soon as he was done he wasted no time taking off your panties and spreading your pretty legs,

He dragged one of his fingers through your folds picking up some of your juices and making you moan and arch your back in the process he put his finger in his mouth. “Just how I like it. Good girl” he said positioning his head in between your legs.

He quickly put his tongue to work and showed your touch deprived pussy just what it missed.

You never touched yourself when you and Choso were arguing, because you knew he would be right back. You felt as though only letting him touch you made you crave him more and although you would never admit it to him you never saw yourself giving up on him and not touching yourself was basically a guarantee that you wouldn’t lose fillings.

Choso on the other hand would touch himself to the thought of you everyday or sometimes just the control he had on you, he would think about how he was the only person to ever have you and only person you ever allowed to touch you. Shit like that turned him on.

Your legs started to shake intensely as he ate you out and just as you were about to cum he stopped,

He got off his knees and stood right in front of you, he put his body in between your legs and aligned his cock with your entrance, “you ready?” He looked at you but you only gave him a moan in response.

As he entered you, he could here the wet sound pussy made and that was music to his ears only making him speed up his pace to hear it more

“Fuck” he said under his breath,

You were a moaning mess for this man

He felt himself get closer to his orgasm so he came closer to your face and placed kisses all over it, you wrapped your arms around his neck as he continued to thrust inside you,

Soon you could feel him leaking inside you making you arch your back, you knew he was trying to hold his orgasm so that you could cum with him because his thrust were sloppy but firm enough so that you could feel good.

As soon as he felt your nails dig into his back he knew you were cumming.

As you painted his cock he painted your insides, “I love you” he kisses you one more time before exiting your pussy,

You could feel him getting off the bed and then you saw him entering the bathroom, you heard running water and was about to doze off but Choso came and picked you up bridal style.

He made sure you peed and cleaned you both up, “you made a mess in the bed now I have to change the sheets” he chuckled while you sat in your vanity chair wrapped in a towel, you watched him change the sheets and take the other ones to the washing machine. You couldn’t help but smile at him, he was so cute.

He came back into the room this time he didn’t have that same cute look though, he seemed mad and as he looked directly at me I couldn’t help but wonder why,

“What the fuck is this?” He held up something pink and white and as I looked closely I saw it was a test.

The test.

[cloudcountry]

i'll never be sick of you.

Genre/Tropes: Sick fic!!

Summary: Cater Diamond is sick and doesn't want anyone to worry about him, least of all you.

Author's Comments: So I read his Lab Wear vignettes and I wanted to explore the side of Cater that's very much "I want to make everyone happy." I might write something less angsty for him someday but for now this is where my brain took me!!

~~~~~

Cater hated this. Whatever force had given him a nasty stomach bug was totally blocked and reported. This was so unfair. He couldn’t move an inch from his bed, leaving his poor underclassmen to paint the roses for today’s unbirthday party without him. Ugh, what a fail. He even had plans to sit next to you during the party, and despite his dislike of sweets, all he wanted to do was see you enjoying yourself. It wasn’t a date or anything, because thinking about a date planned by Riddle was not something Cater wanted to subscribe to, but it’d be time spent with you. That was valuable no matter what.

Right now, though...Cater really hoped nobody told you about his current condition. You shouldn’t have to see him like this—if he wasn’t making you happy then he shouldn’t be around you at all, and Cater was content with that.

Humming, Cater reached for his phone again to scroll through Magicam. He posted a selfie he’d taken the day before to cover up his lack of presence on the app. There was no need to make his followers concerned because he was failing at the moment!

He sighed, setting his phone down on his nightstand again. The bright light was making his head pound, but he was so bored. Being sick wasn’t fun or making anyone happy, so why did it have to hit him first?

Cater turned over on his side, shutting his eyes in an attempt to get some sleep. Sleeping meant less boredom and that meant—

A knock brought him back to reality and he groaned. You and Trey should have been at the unbirthday, so who could possibly be bothering him?

He decided to stay silent. It’s not like anyone would want to see him in this state anyway.

The door opened.

Cater jumped, his head whipping towards the now open door and your face poking through the doorway. A relieved smile found its way onto your lips as Cater panicked, diving under the sheets.

Why did it have to be you of all people? You were going to find him gross and be disappointed and what was he supposed to do if he wasn’t happy and beautiful?

“Cater?” your voice called out to him, the door shutting behind you.

He didn’t respond. His heart pounded in his ears.

“Trey told me about your illness. I brought you some soup. It’s not spicy like you like it, but I didn’t want to leave you up here alone.”

Silence.

“Cater, is everything alright? I know you’re not feeling the best so if you want me to leave I can.”

He couldn’t bring himself to speak.

“Honey...”

He heard you pull a chair up to his bedside as you set the soup down on his nightstand. Your hand pressed into the blanket where his shoulder was, rubbing gentle circles into the fabric.

“Why aren’t you at the unbirthday party?” he whispered, not trusting his voice enough to speak at his normal volume.

“You weren’t there.” you answered immediately, “I only go to those things for you, dummy.”

“You’d have more fun down there, don’t you think?” he forced a laugh, “I don’t want to keep you up here. I probably stink and I doubt—”

“Cater. I’m here because I want to take care of you.” you felt around for his head, beginning to pet his hair once you found it, “I would like you to come out from those blankets so I can feed you, but I won’t make you. I want to be with you even if you aren’t feeling your best. I’ll stay here until you tell me to get out, but I can’t bear leaving you up here alone.”

Cater swallowed.

He couldn’t bring himself to believe that you’d still think of him the same if he showed you how he looked when he wasn’t smiling. There was an idealistic part of him that whispered that he didn’t need to be carefree all the time, especially with you. There was a more serious side of him that told him your relationship was still relatively brand new, and that you could leave at any minute if he showed you that side of him.

What was he supposed to do?

“Cater...do you not want me to see you? Is that what it is?” you murmured.

How did you see through him so easily?

“I don’t think anyone would want to see me like this.” he laughed again, hoping you’d laugh too.

You didn’t.

“Sweetheart.” you leaned back, moving your hand back down to his shoulder, “I think you’re the prettiest boy on campus. You being sick isn’t going to bother me. I know that might be hard to believe, but I want to see you from every angle, you know? I want to know you. And I’m gathering that this is deeper than just you not liking how you look when you’re sick.”

Cater swallowed, his dry throat screaming at him. It was scary how convincingly you talked, making him almost believe that you wouldn’t care if he wasn’t as shiny as he was on his Magicam profile. You were making him think about the facade he’d perfected. You were making him seriously consider taking it down.

He poked his head out of the blankets.

Your expression was soft as you smiled, reaching out to brush a stray hair away from his eyes.

“Hello, pretty boy.” you hummed, rising from your seat.

Cater could only watch as you descended upon him, pressing a single kiss to his forehead. He was feverish and sweaty and hot and his hair was greasy and he probably smelled really bad—but you let it linger, smoothing back his hair as you pulled away.

You sat back down and grabbed the container of soup, the insides fogged up from the contained heat. Cater pulled the blankets a little lower, allowing you to see his nose and lips. You weren’t paying attention to him anymore, your attention focused on the plastic lid on the container and the soup you brought with you.

“Do you think you could sit up? I probably should have asked before I brought you soup, but...” you looked up, making eye contact with him.

Cater’s heart leapt into his throat as you eyes examined him, the corners of your lips once again twitching into a soft smile.

“Don’t look so scared, honey. You’re really pretty. It’s sort of charming, seeing your hair all messed up and your eyes all bleary.” you teased, reaching out to cup his cheek, “You look cute.”

He had to say something back, something to make you laugh. Something to make you smile. Something that would make you stay a bit longer.

“Cay-Cay is always cute!” he teased back, coughing at the end of his sentence.

“Yes you are. But really, thank you. We can work through whatever was bothering you whenever you’re ready. Whatever it was, I can assure you, it won’t change the way I look at you.” you pinched his cheek gently, stirring the spoon with the spoon, “I’ll only like you more.”

“Pinky promise?” Cater joked again, secretly hoping you’d see through him like you always did.

“Pinky promise, my pretty diamond. I’ll never get sick of you.” you snickered.

Ugh, you were so cute. Maybe someday, he’d find the strength to open up to you. Maybe someday he could believe he was worthy of you, and maybe he’d be able to let everything out with you.

But for now, he’d take baby steps.

Maybe being more Cater for a while...wouldn’t be so bad.

[sweet-drmzzz]

wowowowow I’m finally doing a pinned post

DO NOT SENT ME DONATION REQUESTS THEY WILL BE DELETED

i have my reasons for this, among them being that i am just not comfortable with it.

(also we're working on updating this lmao ^^)

Hiya!! My names are Z-Fey, and Faele (pronounced fey-elle)!! I am the host of a median collective, and this is my/our main blog. You can find our plural side blog here: @treehousearchive

I go by Fae/Zi/It/They pronouns, and idrc how the grammar around them works (so you could say “fae are a person with adhd” or “fae is a person with adhd.” Please use my neopronouns as much as, if not more than you use they/it

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tone tag key:

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if I don’t like u I’ll block u.

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Foxkin euphoria and just generally happy foxkin related stuff

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Second verse, same as the first but w fae stuff this time.

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text posts and me ranting

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(userbox by @/plural-userboxes)

[mariaofdoranelle]

Look at Us Now - ch. 18

Fic masterlist

A/N: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Warnings: very light nsfw?

Words: 2,6k

“Do my boobs look too big in this?”

Aelin snapped her head back to Lysandra, that question unexpected given the birthday party they were in. She was pretty sure her friend was only being that vocal because they were alone at the table, the kids letting loose nearby with the entertainer. “What?”

Lys showed her phone—the photoshop app, to be more precise—and insisted, “Do my boobs still look freakish?”

She rolled her eyes and analyzed the picture, zooming in Lys’ boobs. Lysandra Ennar, the only person Aelin knew that made her breasts look smaller with photoshop. “They look amazing, just as they do in person. Remind me why you use those apps again?”

“Aelin Galathynius, this is a judgment-free zone,” she chastised in a low tone, the poorly-concealed crinkle in her eyes giving away that her offense was nothing but a joke. “This is an illusion, just like that pink bikini you bought with me.”

She took a sip of her milkshake, squinting her eyes at Lys. That bikini did work as a real-life photoshop, pushing up what needed to be pushed up and hugging her body like it had been made exclusively for her body. Too bad Rowan was too busy ignoring her to notice.

“Leave the pink bikini out of it.”

“Fine.” Lysandra blocked her phone and left it with the screen facing the table. “But will you ever tell me what happened on that trip?”

“Nothing happened on the trip,” Aelin lied.

“I don’t believe you.”

“You shouldn’t,” Aelin said before busying her mouth with chocolate milkshake.

Lysandra gasped. “Did you guys do it?”

Aelin wrinkled her nose, disappointed with herself. “No.”

“Boo!” Her friend leaned back on her chair, wearing a vacant stare. “Don’t you miss it when people were just like, ‘Hey, wanna do it or not?’ and that was it?“

Aelin choked on her milkshake. “Are you talking about college?”

“What? No!” Lys chuckled, her eyes filled with mirth. “Like, thousands of years ago when everyone was gay and poly, and people drew themselves having big orgies in vases or something.”

Aelin threw her head back, laughing. “I think they were drawing because they didn’t have cameras, Lys.”

“Still.” Her friend’s eyes narrowed, not happy to have her theory debunked. “I doubt that Ancient Aelin would be in the same situation you’re now.”

She waved Lysandra off, mostly because a godsend server approached their table with more fries and mini hot-dogs. The amount of food at children’s parties made her resent adult ones a little. When did people decide that a bunch of different cheese is proper food?

She posted the picture after Lysandra edited it completely, but her mind was going a mile a minute.

Maybe Aelin should channel Ancient Aelin.

Not literally, but after so much talking and waiting and looking for clues, maybe she should just drop a blunt question and see how much of her relationship with Rowan was salvageable. If all that waiting was leaving them somewhere or not.

And after Aelin decided to put an end to this blind anticipation, it was like nothing existed besides her goal. Every person there wasn’t Rowan, the one she needed to talk to. Every stretch of time was too long before she found him. The space between this venue and his house felt twice as long.

“You’re antsy,” Lysandra said without taking her eyes off the phone.

“I’m watching the kids.”

“Liar, liar, pants on fire.”

Aelin frowned, her food tapping. “There’s this thing I have to do. Do you mind watching Maisie? I can pick her up at your place. Or you drop her at mine. I’ll owe you this one.”

Lysandra raised an eyebrow, skeptical. “Are you making me babysit to get laid?”

“No.” Aelin felt her cheeks heating. It wasn’t a lie because she had no guarantee of getting laid, but it was part of her intention.

“Pity.” Lys picked on her nails, a nonchalant expression on her face. “Because Maisie’s a little terror, I’m only watching her for a good reason.”

“Fine,” she said through clenched teeth, resigned. “I need to see Rowan, but I’m not sure what’s gonna happen. Happy?”

“Very.” Her smile was nothing short of devilish. “Auntie Lys is happy to take over.”

˜˜

Turns out Maisie wasn’t excited about that. Instead, she decided to come with Aelin.

“We should play freeze tag,” her little girl said at the same time her phone pinged.

Aedion: who’s the chick you posted a pic with

“Not now, honey. What about some TV, and we play freeze tag later?” She suggested while typing.

Aelin: wouldn’t you like to know

Aedion: tell me

“No!” Maisie shouted inside the car. “The TV is there forever, I want to play with you and Daddy.”

Aelin held back a flinch. Even if their family was a lot closer these days, they still had separate lives. Playing all three together was a frequent occurrence now, but not enough for Maisie to discard the opportunity.

This was one of the things she was hoping to change today.

“What about the drums, Mais?”

She typed while waiting for her daughter’s response.

Aelin: she’s my soccer mom bestie

Aelin: we bond over motherhood and my cursed love life

“I do like my drums,” Maisie agreed in that stubborn way of hers, making Aelin fist pump inside her mind when her phone pinged again.

Aedion: can her husband fight

She snorted, affectionately rolling her eyes before opening Rowan’s garden gate. She wouldn’t give Aedion the satisfaction of knowing that her friend’s a single mom, especially since Lys is too good for her manwhore cousin.

After setting Maisie in the garage and making sure she was safe there, Aelin rounded the house towards the backyard and knocked on the kitchen’s back door.

It was an odd sight. Rowan’s kitchen was a mess, his sink overflowing with dirty dishes while the utensils were scrambled over the counter, looking no better than Maisie’s play kitchen. He was already leaving through the other door when he turned around and let her in.

“Hey.“ Rowan gave her a small smile. ”I heard Maisie’s drums and thought it was a ghost. The party’s over already?”

Indeed, the kid’s drums were loud and clear two rooms over. She wondered why Rowan’s parents bought the chaotic ones instead of the ones with headphones.

Aelin shook her head. Not the time to think about drums.

She took a step deeper inside the kitchen heart thrumming as his expectant eyes watched her.

“We need to talk.”

“We do,” he said before taking off his apron and hanging it near him, his movements stiff. “Do you want me to start?”

“I’ll do it.” She tapped the side of her head. “I’m ready.”

When she said it, Aelin didn’t know she was, in fact, not ready.

She watched his open—if not a little uneasy—face, recalling some rules of non-violent communication inside her head. They hadn’t needed to strictly follow it in a while, but Aelin didn’t want to risk it. She wasn’t above making a scandal, but she wanted to show Rowan that he didn’t need to hide. No matter what happened, they could still be civil. No need to run away from her or shout.

She opened her mouth, but the words didn’t come. Step 1: communicate everything that happened without blaming your partner. Since this conversation was a last-minute decision, she didn’t know how to explain everything that was happening, or even what part of the last six years to explain. She didn’t want to say a huge monologue and overwhelm his brain either.

Then she thought of step two. Telling how she felt.

Ever since they met? That whole bloody emotion wheel.

Rowan hadn’t said a word while she struggled to articulate hers, and the way he was struggling to not let her know he was struggling made her mind race even more. His face would look neutral, if it wasn’t for that mildly-veiled worry in his eyes, his lips pinched. His body would look composed, if it wasn’t for that tension in his shoulders, or the way he discreetly fiddled with his fingers, his feet silently jiggling.

Aelin cleared her throat. “I know this goes against what we learned in therapy about healthy relationships, and respecting your partner’s autonomy, and…” she trailed, then stopped and squared her shoulders. Her eyes were determined and intent on him. “I know you can do whatever you want. But, in this conversation, I’m not giving you an option where you don’t end up with me. Together. Romantically, to be loud and clear.”

Rowan blinked. One, two, too many times for her poor, agitated heart. Then he took a step back while letting out something that was between a shaky smile and a wheezy puff of breath… and gave his back to her.

Aelin’s limbs slackened as she watched him open an oven and retrieve a cake. Without even properly rejecting her.

She felt a sinking feeling in her stomach, her heart aching from the weight of his rejection. All that effort, her blunt declaration. It was all in vain.

After placing the half-decorated chocolate cake—he never baked those. What’s going on?—in the counter, he ran to the living room and came back with a bouquet so big Aelin could barely see his face behind it. Kingsflower was the main feature of the bouquet.

Aelin took a step back, feeling like she's lost control of her own jaw. Her favorite cake and her favorite flowers.

Rowan tried to fix some edges of the unfinished chocolate frosting with a butter knife. Frowning at his incomplete work, he asked, “Have you ever felt like it’d be easier to die for someone than to hire a band and perform a cheesy love song for them?”

Her chuckle was watery, a little confused. “Why would you do that?”

“The whole story is a bit long, but I brainstormed a very extensive list with ways to convince you to be with me. Together. Romantically, to be loud and clear,” he replicated the last part of her inarticulate speech around a sheepish smile.

Aelin flung herself at him, her arms squeezing his middle and her forehead leaning against his collarbone when she whispered, “You never lost me, Rowan.”

“Yes, I did, and it was my fault.” His tone was just as low as he caressed Aelin’s hair against him. “I hurt you. I wasn’t there for you. I lost you.” His voice broke in the last sentence, his eyes glossy. ”I lost half of Maisie’s days too.”

“It’s on me, too.” Aelin stroked his cheek, small but reassuring. “There’s so many things I wish I’d done differently back then, but—“

“You can’t do the right choices when you’re not in the right state of mind,” Rowan quoted their therapist.

She gave him a weak smile. “Exactly.” She whispered, “I’m so sorry. For the delay, for every angry phone call, for—“

“Shh.” Rowan tangled his fingers on the back of her head, tilting her face to his as his gaze roamed over her face, searching. “I’m sorry too.”

Aelin licked her parted lips, eyes intent on Rowan’s as she felt her body temperature rise. He dipped his head, closing the distance—

“MOMMY!” Maisie screamed, shooting through the hallway as fast as a bullet. “GOTTA POO.”

Aelin startled, detangling herself from Rowan on instinct.

“Okay, honey,” she shouted, despite her breathlessness, after her daughter went to the bathroom that was right next to the kitchen. “Tell me when you’re done,”

Aelin laid her eyes on Rowan’s lips, distracted with the way his tongue licked them, and mumbled, “We must have from two to five minutes until she finishes.”

His lips closed to accommodate his snort. “Are you sure you want more kids?”

She swapped his chest, then left her hands there. God, those were nice to grope. “You’re not funny.”

“Not my strong suit, indeed.”

Without warning, Rowan pulled her face toward his, stopping for a second when the tip of their noses brushed to give her time to pull back. None of that. Aelin slid her hand to the back of his hair and pressed their lips together.

It was absolute heaven.

She opened up for him, letting his tongue in as he touched her face and hair with tender caresses. Aelin was already melting into his touch, but when she pushed her full body against his and grabbed a chunk of his hair, the mood shifted. Now, the way Rowan’s tongue massaged Aelin’s was as sinful as the way she pressed her full body against his.

Tasting her mouth like it was his, Rowan held her waist and hips like they were his lifeline. She took it was a cue to press herself against him until she left his cock bulging behind his pants, the friction making him hiss.

Rowan nipped her neck in retaliation, until it became a full ministration against her pulse point. Her moan against his ear was low, but enough to make him squeeze her waist harder. Aelin squirmed against him—

“Mom?” Maisie called from the bathroom.

Aelin took a step back, thanking Mala that Rowan looked a little amused by it, instead of annoyed like any other man would. “You done?” she shouted in Maisie’s direction.

“No.” A pause. “Have you ever had a clogged butt?”

Aelin grimaced. Not her favorite conversation topic while making out with her baby daddy for the first time in years. “Every now and then, Mais. Must run in the family, huh?”

“This sucks!”

“It never happens to me!” Rowan cut in. “My poop moves like my stomach’s a water slide because I eat green stuff that aren’t M&M’s.”

Her dad’s snark made Maisie groan. Loudly. Like a tiny teenager. “MOM! I need to unclog my butt.”

Aelin’s sigh against Rowan’s chest quickly became a chuckle. “I’ll be right back.”

He gave her a small kiss. “Go.”

~~

“And when she left the house to meet the prince—“

“No!” Maisie shouted, interrupting her bedtime story. She was dragging her eyelids open, clearly struggling to stay awake. “She’ll meet with the witch.”

Aelin frowned. “Honey, the witch is evil. We have to run away from her, remember?”

She leaned on her elbow. “But the evil witch deserves love, too.”

“Fine,” Aelin said while Rowan put Maisie back into a sleeping position. He was never good at coming up with stories, so he just sat by their daughter’s bed while Aelin struggled to think of a tale Maisie liked. “And when she left the house to—“

“But why does she want to live with the prince? Her dad is nice.”

Aelin gave a strained smile, her patience wearing thin. “Because that’s what happens when you grow up, love. At some point, you’ll want to move out—“

“No.” Maisie crossed her arms, pouting. “We’ll live together forever, and travel together to all the places, because we’re friends and we love each other.”

That was enough to melt Aelin’s impatience. She grinned, pecking all over Maisie’s face and laying next to her in her bed. Rowan’s eyes were crinkled with joy next to them, but Aelin’s only focus was on making Maisie sleep.

“Okay, Maisy Daisy. You’re right about that.” Aelin caressed the girl’s pale blonde hair, not caring to explain that her opinion would change the second she became a teenager. Maisie started to let herself drift because of Aelin’s cuddles, they hugged until it was sure the little girl wouldn’t wake up anymore.

Aelin got up and rounded the bed until she was next to Rowan. She lightly scraped her nails against his shoulders and neck, making him shiver, and whispered, “Come on.”

Their day consisted of freeze tag, family meals, and clandestine kisses when Maisie couldn’t see. They would tell her when it felt right.

Rowan took a last peak at Maisie and adjusted her night lights, before sending Aelin a heated look that told her it was time to move to another bedroom.

When they stepped out of Maisie’s room and were out of earshot, Rowan threw Aelin against the hallway wall and captured her lips with his.

A/N: my main plot line ends here and now I’m just stretching things with lots of fluff and minor conflict just to keep things going. I’m emotional.

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[killmymind]

ever since liam passed i have lost friends and mutuals i loved and i can’t stop thinking about it. so i want to say something.

i became a fan of 1d when i was 13, and i am 25 now. so much has changed since then, but i wanna make one thing clear: i never wanted this. why would i? my teenage years belong to one direction. i joined this fandom because of liam. i probably wouldn’t be where i am right now if it weren’t for them.

so when maya opened up about her experience with him, i was angry. i was upset, and hurt for her, and selfishly for me, who had to accept that the person i loved wasn’t the one i had made up in my head.

and then, unexpectedly, this happens. and i find myself grieving and mourning but also having all these mixed feelings of guilt, sadness, anger and confusion. how am i supposed to feel? am i even allowed to grieve?

so from the bottom of my heart, i really am sorry if i said the wrong thing and brought up stuff i should have kept to myself when the wound is still fresh. i am not sure if mentioning his abusive behavior during this time was the right thing to do. i thought it shouldn’t be something to straight up ignore and pretend it didn’t happen, but maybe under these circumstances i could have been quiet. or maybe i’m wrong about this as well. because my head is a mess, and i am confused, hurt and in pain.

so forgive me if i haven’t been able to express myself properly. i never expected this to happen, and i don’t know how to navigate this grief.

but one thing i am not gonna let people do is tell me i can’t talk about liam, reblog posts about him, feel sad about his passing, and mourn him. at one point in my life, i loved that man with everything that i was. i am going to let myself feel these complicated emotions and try to make sense of these feelings, whether you like it or not.

it’s such a shame everything ended the way it did. i loved you. i hope one day we can meet again, but for now, i’ll leave you alone.

take care and stay safe x

[kikufuku01]

I Love You Always

Sukuna x Reader

Part 10 Dancing on Your Own ♡ ♡ ♡ Part 11 Toxic in You series m. list

Reblogs likes and comments are appreciated!

Taglist is open, just message me if you'd like to be tagged in upcoming posts! Must be 18+!

It hasn’t been the same since. Sukuna acts like he’s fine with you when you’re around the others, but now his eyes don’t linger on you. He barely starts a conversation with you, shit, he talks to Kazuya more than he does with you. Kaede thought it was weird but you told her it was nothing. Just friends outgrowing each other due to hanging out too much in the past. They don’t seem exclusive yet either, so it’s safe to say that they’re still talking? You don’t know, but you’ve been trying to drown yourself in Kazuya as much as possible. You’ve been ditching Kaede’s group invites, saying that you and Kazuya were already busy, and when he’d try to join them, you would tell him to give them some space.

Another thing is, you’re completely dreading today. It just feels like it’s gonna be a bad day. You’re pushing the cart around the store with an empty mind while your mom adds things in. She’s on the phone with your dad, talking about work or whatever, so you’re just left alone to follow aimlessly.

“Did you want this, sweetheart?”

She’s holding a pack of Himemaru rice crackers in the air to get your attention. You barely look at them, “sure.”

Just like that, she drops them in the cart and continues her conversation on the phone. Nothing in particular catches your attention since you don’t seem to have much of an appetite lately. You wouldn’t call it depression either, that’d be going overboard. You just miss how things were before.

Your mom taps your arm, “are you alright these days? You’re not grabbing all the snacks you usually eat.”

“I’m on a diet,” you lie, turning into the next aisle.

She stops you right there and crosses her arms, a worried look in her eyes. They search you for answers before she opens her mouth again, “you know, before I was afraid you were eating too much and now…”

Her nervous smile quivers, “you’re not eating and it’s a drastic change. These are also signs of pregnancy, sweetheart. You’ve been going out a lot and staying out during late hours, I’m afraid of what you’ve been doing.”

“Mom–”

“I’m not stupid. I was your age once too, you know. I know that you’re having fun, but I just wish for you to be safe. Your father hasn’t caught on, but I am concerned. How about after we shop, I take you to the clinic to get a checkup?”

“I haven’t done those things yet, so there’s nothing to be scared of. We’ll just waste our time going over there.”

The attitude in your tone takes your mom by surprise but she nods in defeat, “you sound like you’re telling the truth, then.”

You stick your tongue out at her to lighten the mood, “let’s just finish this up and go back home.”

♡ ♡ ♡

Your dad has been walking on eggshells around you as well over the last few months. He doesn’t speak to you any different, but maybe he too can pick up on your shift in mood. Is it really that drastic? Surely you’ve always been a grump, so what’s the big difference?

“I’ll take those,” he says as he takes the groceries from your hands.

You allow him to take them and follow him into the kitchen to help sort out the items. Your mom also comes in to help, leaving out what she’ll make for dinner.

“Will you be joining us?”

You look at your dad with a shrug, “I think I have plans with someone, so I’m not sure.”

He juts his lips but nods understandably, “you are going out with a female friend or male?”

“It’s a mix of both genders. We’re a group of people.”

“Shouldn’t you introduce us so that we know who you’re with?”

“It’s not necessary, so no.”

You give him stern eyes and head towards your bedroom. You’re annoyed by people constantly prying into your life. You don’t want them to meet Kazuya because they’ll misunderstand what he is to you, and you most certainly do not want them to meet someone like Sukuna. They’ll only judge, because that’s all they do. Especially your mom.

Since you’re bored, you decide to change out of what you’re currently wearing and put something else on. “I’ll be back later,” you shout as you close the door behind you.

Your feet guide you through the area you first saw Sukuna. He’s not there anymore, obviously. The spot is now taken over by a guitarist, playing his heart out to make some extra cash. The tune sounds nice to your ears, but it does strike a couple of heartstrings. A grin appears on your lips as you dig into your wallet, grabbing a single twenty. You diligently place the bill in his guitar case and back up into the rest of the crowd again to listen.

The man sends you a gracious smile and tips his head at you, “thank you~”

Your hands come out in front of you and wave, “don’t mention it.”

The man leans towards a smaller build, with soft fluffy hair and delicate looking hands. He’s pretty, but you can tell he’s fairly young, possibly mid-teens. He’s completely different from Sukuna– why are you even comparing the two? You snap out of your own thoughts and turn around to leave the crowd. Probably wasn’t a wise choice to revisit such a nostalgic area.

You shove your airpods in and blast music to drown out the real world while you walk to the next destination. It doesn’t take you too long, but you push through the doors and approach the hostess, “hi, I’m sorry, do you know if Mastuyama Kazuya is working today?”

She beams brightly and bows a bit, “oh yes, his shift should be over in a few hours. Let me get him for you, he’s in the back.”

“Thank you.”

“I didn’t know you were coming,” he greets, coming out from the back.

“Just thought I’d visit you for a bit,” you reason, “sorry, is it rush hour for you?”

Kazuya titters softly, “you’re fine, the kitchen can handle it.”

You push your hair behind your ear as you speak, “I’ll just be a second. I know you’re busy, so are we still going to the movies later tonight?”

“About that…” he trails off.

He wipes the sweat from his forehead with his forearms and pouts a bit, “I must be famous today. Sukuna and Kaede came to visit not too long ago.”

“Did they?”

You’re not sure as to why he’d bring them up, but you listen anyway.

Kazuya gestures towards a table, “yeah, they finished their meal like half an hour ago.”

“What do they have to do with our plans later?”

“Matsuyama, we need you back on the stove,” an employee says as he pokes his head out.

Kazuya nods hurriedly at him, “I’ll be right there.” He gently pinches your cheek, “they invited us to the club tonight and I kind of agreed without thinking. Don’t be too mad, okay? I gotta go, so I’ll see you tonight. See ya!”

“But–”

A fat sigh blows past your lips at the sight of him rushing back into the kitchen. Damn, you knew today felt shitty for a reason. Clubbing? With Sukuna? In a place where alcohol is involved? Not that you have to drink, but the environment is giving you flashbacks of that night, and it’s not bright. You will admit, there are times when you have dreams of that night and it drives you crazy! It’s that guilty conscience of yours…

Maybe you can find a way out of this, right?

♡ ♡ ♡

Kaede keeps blowing up your phone about tonight’s plan. She wants to know what you’ll wear, how you’ll do your hair etc. You’re not answering her much, just giving her short responses. Do you sound like a bitch? Probably. Do you care? Not really. Everything in your closet seems too bland and stupid but you managed to figure something out. It wasn’t anything too flashy, since you still have to see your parents, but enough to get you into the club.

You’re outside the gate, waiting for Sukuna’s car. He decided it’d be cheaper and safest to just use his chauffeur and who are you to argue against that? There’s a mix of emotions that you’re feeling as you wait, but the most defined one is anger and irritation. You don’t want to see Sukuna and Kaede flirt, mainly because you’ve been getting those flashbacks. Shit, you can barely look them in the eyes.

Right as you’re thinking this, you see the familiar black car pull up. It stops right in front of you and the passenger window rolls down.

“Get in,” he spits out coldly.

You barely catch it. That’s how low it is. Loud enough just for you to hear. He’s not even looking at you, he’s just staring straight ahead, and you want to smack that big ol’ head of his. You want to shove your hand through the window and fuck up his stupid, gelled back hair. Does he realize how stupid he looks? Okay, he doesn’t look stupid at all, you’re just being petty, but that’s okay!

You groan and open the back door to see both Kazuya and Kaede. They smile at you and shower you in compliments, ones that go in your ear and out the other. You’re only focusing on the back of his stupid pink hair. He got his roots retouched, how conceited. Ugh, and his cologne is too overwhelming. It makes your stomach churn.

“You doing okay?”

Kazuya’s eyebrows are pointed upwards in a worried way as he examines your sour face. Upon realization, you fix your face and hum, “peachy.”

You look at what Kaede is wearing and you instantly feel insecure. The feelings you feel, it’s the same as when you introduced Kaede to Sukuna. Why do you keep feeling this way? It’s annoying. Her hair is loosely curled, her makeup is done smokey, complimenting the dress she has on and her heels are sexy and strappy. Her charisma is even crazier tonight.

“You look sexy,” you compliment, sending a wink her way, regardless of the bad feelings inside.

Kaede giggles and shies away, “stop~ you’re teasing me.”

Your focus then turns towards Kazuya and your fingers land on the sleeves of his shirt, “you look great too, Kazuya.”

No one sees the red hues that glare through the rearview mirror, you’re all much too focused on your own little conversations, blabbing about this and that. Sukuna’s jaw tightens at the sight of you and he ignores the way your laugh sends shivers down his spine. You’re a fucking ungrateful bitch, that’s what you are.

Thankfully the ride isn’t too long. You’re all dropped off in the middle of the street and left to wait in line for the club. Kazuya is walking in front with Sukuna while Kaede holds your arms for support. It wasn’t too wise of you guys to pregame in the car, but it already happened, so.

“Where are you going?”

You call out with a glare and Sukuna barely looks back at you, “to the front.”

Kazuya spits out short apologies to the people you’re all cutting and taps Sukuna, “shouldn’t we be waiting in the back?”

“I work here,” Sukuna says, smiling his best.

Oh, that’s right. Sukuna works as a bartender at a club. This must be the place. Why didn’t it click in your head sooner?

Kaede’s grip on your arm is so tight that you feel like your arm will snap off. You’re about to say something to her, but Sukuna reaches out for her and takes her from you, “come here.”

He greets the bouncer and whispers something in their ear. They don’t even hesitate to let you all through, and as crazy as it is, you smile at Kazuya with excitement and raise your eyebrows, “I guess we don’t gotta pay.”

“Does that mean we get free drinks too?” Kazuya jokes, pulling you closer to him as the music begins to blare louder.

Sukuna chuckles, “that, you gotta pay for.”

You promised yourself not to drink too much, in fear you might slip up. Kaede and Sukuna, however, have been taking shots left and right. Their tab must be huge. Kazuya is the only one completely sober, but he’s having fun regardless, dancing with no shame. He’s fun to be with, at a time like this. You’re trying too, you are.

In order to distract yourself, you continue to dance with Kazuya, but not in a sensual way. Just goofy moves and whatnot. You’re not too sure how long it’s been, but maybe you guys have been here for two hours already. You’ve lost the other two in the crowd, so it helps to keep you distracted.

There’s just one thing… luck is never on your fucking side!

Kazuya reaches into his back pocket and leans towards your ear, shouting, “I gotta take this!”

You follow him towards the bathroom area and wait for him there to avoid separation. You pray that it’s a useless phone call, but something in your gut tells you otherwise. Approximately six minutes pass and Kazuya comes back out with a sorry smile.

There’s dread in your eyes.

“No, what’s wrong?”

He thins out his lips and gives you a soft caress before leaning towards your ear to shout, “sorry, y/n, but I just got a call from work. Someone had to go home suddenly and no one else could cover their shift.”

“But it’s almost eleven–”

His eyes shut, “I know, I know, but our restaurant stays open until 1am and they don’t have another chef. I’m sorry, y/n.”

You bite your tongue and huff, “it can’t be helped.”

Kazuya frowns too, since he feels sorry for having to suddenly abandon you, “I can help you search for the others before I leave–”

“Just go,” you blurt, your chest swelling with the action.

When you see the hurt in his face, you apologize, “sorry, it’s not your fault. It’d be better if you arrived over there quickly. I’ll look for them myself.”

You’re both shouting over the music, but you can hear each other clearly. He looks around the club once more before pulling you into a hug, “I’ll see you later, y/n.”

“Yeah,” you mutter against his chest.

♡ ♡ ♡

So, you might’ve had a few more shots. Just three more. Your vision isn’t fucked up, but your anger has subsided. Oh, you’re also dancing way more, now that you’re here by yourself, but it’s still fun. You get a couple of guys and girls here and there, but they know the drill, they don’t stay too long. In all honesty, you’ve kind of forgotten all about the other two people you came with.

That was, until… You’re shouting over the music with a random group of people you’ve found. It’s a mix of both women and men, mainly consisting of women. They know how to party, how to have fun. You watched them take body shots off of each other and when they offered you, you quickly denied, “it’s okay, I can’t get too drunk!”

“Awh, maybe next time then,” one of the men suggests, giving you a cute pout.

Though he suggests it, neither of you bother to exchange socials; his words nothing but empty. You sway to the loud music and look around, your eyes scanning over hundreds of faces but… you see him. You see him anywhere. You see him in the midst of the crowd, no one but him. It’s not because of his bright pink hair, it’s not because of his tattoos. You see him because he is Ryomen Sukuna.

All of your movements still instantly as you watch what’s in front of you. He’s stuck in the middle of a crowd with rowdy people, but in his arms is a very drunk Kaede. Her eyes are closed as she grinds her hips against his, her arms lifted and wrapped around his neck as a way to help support herself, even though he’s got both palms planted on her hips. Their faces are so close that it’s almost like they’ll kiss, and it sparks a fire in your chest. You feel it all at once while your head spins at the sight. Your chest stings, your heart falls, your face feels heated, and your heart is pounding so hard against you that it hurts. There’s a stupid, fat lump in your throat as you continue to watch them dance with each other.

His expensive silk shirt is unbuttoned, like always, and you see the way Kaede’s nose dips closer to his bare skin. Will she lick him? Sniff him? They’re dancing so sensually. Are they both drunk? Is he taking advantage of her? Are they together? Have they done more than this? A million questions race through your head as you stomp through the crowd, not caring that you rudely bump into people.

With hate filled eyes, you march over and shove a random girl out of your way. You’re so focused on your own heightened emotions that you don’t care if you get into a fight. She glares at you, “what the fuck is your problem?!”

You ignore her and continue to push through. Without thinking, you grab Sukuna’s wrist and yank him away from Kaede, making them both stumble.

“What the fuck are you two doing?! Are you fucking out of your minds?!”

The poor girl is much too intoxicated to understand the situation, only reaching out to grab Sukuna’s hand while her head leans on his back for support. He looks down at you coldly, “what?”

Fuck, you’re too stunned to speak now. Where did all that anger go? It seems to have disappeared the moment he laid eyes on you. His eyes pierce through you so harshly. His nostrils flare as his patience runs out and he steps back to grab Kaede by her waist. He then proceeds to use his other hand to grab at your forearm harshly, choosing to drag you guys to the bar. He quickly waves over one of the bartenders, “this girl is with me. Make sure to have someone watch over her in the back room.”

“Don’t take too long, can’t guarantee that boss will let her stay.”

Sukuna sighs in annoyance, “tell him she’s with me. He won’t care.”

He doesn’t wait for the other guy’s response and continues to drag you. You’re a bit scared with how shady the door looks, but he drags you out and you realize that you guys are in an alleyway. Sukuna’s chin rises, “what the fuck was that all about?”

You glare up at him as he continues, “I was hitting it off with Kaede. Why’d you do all of that?”

“I’m worried,” you stupidly admit.

You hate how weak you sound. You hate how unconfident you’re feeling from just his gaze.

Sukuna scoffs out loud at you, “worried about what? Isn’t this what you wanted?”

He steps closer to you, “for you to be with Kazuya without needing to worry about me? You set me up with Kaede and now you’re concerned?”

His face leans down, hovering over yours as a petty smirk draws itself on his lips. Your heart feels like it’s about to explode. You raise your chin pridefully, scoffing at his attitude, even though you had one first, “jeez, you must really like her. I didn’t think you’d be that upset about it.”

“Well, I am,” he quickly replies. There’s spite laced in his voice.

You blink a few times at his confirmation, and it seems to calm your sudden burst of anger. What used to be irritation morphs into something of shame and you lower your face a bit, “sorry for acting out then. Go back to her.”

You want to leave. You want to go home and cry. You want to be anywhere but here. You’re already turning around to walk away from him but he calls out angrily, “we’re not done talking, y/n.”

You hate the way he says your name.

“I think we are,” You’re only a few steps away from him, “you can go back to being touchy with her.”

Sukuna groans to himself, his voice becoming more stern, “I said we weren’t done talking. Stay still and look me in the eyes.”

You turn around to face him, “it’s fine, it was a spur of the moment.”

You motion towards the heavy door, “let’s just go back, she’s probably worried about you.”

With heavy footsteps, you try to get past him. Sukuna has other plans. He stops you and steps in front of you again, “y/n, I’m serious. Tell me what that shit was about. You had no fucking right to do that, to her or me.”

“I–”

Why are you getting choked up? It fucking sucks. This shit fucking sucks! What the fuck are you even doing? Why were you so mad in the first place?

Sukuna’s expression mocks you, a sneer on his face, “what, you can’t talk now? All of a sudden, the words can’t come out of your throat?”

He brings his hand up to your face and his thumb grazes your bottom lip gently, “you seemed to do just fine earlier when you were telling us off.”

There’s a stinging sensation in the corner of your eyes. Ah shit, don’t tell me it’s tears. What are they? Angry tears? Sad? Hurt?

Sukuna chuckles deeply, his thumb still on your lip, “don’t tell me you’re gonna cry now.”

“You’re a fucking asshole,” you say as you swat his hand away from you.

You quickly spin around to walk, hoping that you get to the end of the alley quickly. Sukuna’s heavy feet only take two steps forward before stopping, “get back here, right now.”

When you don’t listen, he raises his voice, “Ichihara y/n, I’m not playing with you.”

The seriousness in his tone has you stilling. Your mind is yelling at you to keep going, so why did you stop? Again, you turn around to face him, “I don’t know, Sukuna. I don’t know why I did that.”

Sukuna’s long strides get him close to you again and there’s a heavy frown on his lips, “yes, you do. I know you do.”

He heaves a sigh, mostly for himself, and then stares into your eyes. For a brief second, there’s worry in them.

“Look, let’s just take a deep breath together, okay?” he suggests, raising a brow.

Without needing to countdown, you both inhale and exhale together. He hums expectantly, “now tell me what’s wrong.”

The reason why you were so angry? Well, you don’t want to believe it.

“Sukuna, I–” the tears fall past your eyes, cascading down your cheeks, “I’m really jealous.”

His eyes widened. They widened and then his gaze turned into something bitter, “why are you saying this to me?”

He backs away from you, “why are you telling me this? Why now?”

More tears fall as you struggle to swallow the lump in your throat, “I’m really jealous when you’re with Kaede, Sukuna.”

“Don’t say that shit to me,” he spits out, “what about Kazuya, hm? Weren’t you so sure you liked him? Why are you saying this all of a sudden?”

Your eyes turn cold as well, looking at him with hate, “I didn’t realize I liked you this much!”

Sukuna’s jaw clenches at your confession, his fists balling so tight that his knuckles turn white.

You continue with a shaky voice, “I wasn’t sure if what we had was platonic or not–” your voice breaks, “so I chose Kazuya because he was the safest option.”

He shakes his head at you, seething as he does so, “you had months to figure it out, y/n. Months.”

Your heart throbs.

“Okay, I get it! You’re mad and I feel stupid and embarrassed, so just go back to Kaede already.”

You turn around and begin to speed walk, not caring if you just ruined your entire relationship with Sukuna. He, however, has other plans, choosing to chase after you. He spins you around violently, “no, don’t try to pull this shit on me. You’re fucking manipulating me.”

“I’m not!”

You try to pry his hands off of you with your own but you’re too weak. He won’t budge no matter how much you try.

You weakly shove him away, only moving yourself with the action, “I told you why I made a scene and now you’re just upset! I’m embarrassed, and I would just like to go home.”

Sukuna’s phone makes a notification sound and he quickly pulls his phone out to look at the text. He releases you with a glare, “Kaede texted me, I’m going back.”

It takes everything in him to not hug you, to not comfort you and kiss you. He’s so angry with you. You’re hurt? Well so is he. His chest heaves heavily while he tries to calm his heart, “get home safe.”

“I don’t need to hear that from you,” you spit out, looking away from him.

Sukuna clicks his tongue, “and I didn’t need to hear that shit from you either but look what happened.”

He shoves his phone back into his pocket, “whether you choose to text me when you get home or not is on you, I don’t care.” He turns around, “see ya.”

♡ ♡ ♡

You don’t remember how you got home. All you know is that you turned your phone off after catching a cab. Gosh, you’re so stupid. All of this shit is your fault. If you weren’t so stupid, indecisive and moody then none of this would’ve happened. You were too embarrassed to show yourself in front of your parents, so you crawled through your window.

After lazily locking it, you plopped down onto the bed and curled up into a ball. All of these raw emotions make you feel ugly inside and it hurts a lot. You see flashes of the look in his eyes and yours close immediately, refusing to relive the moment.

You knew about your feelings. You knew this whole time; you just didn’t want to believe it. Now that you’ve told him, you feel much smaller in the world. Your heart feels like it’s been smashed to bits and pieces and don’t even get started on Kaede. How will you ever look her in the eyes again? No, what will you say to Kazuya? He’s not the one your heart yearns for, he’s far from it, no matter how much you try. He’s such a sweet man, but he’s not who you want.

After lying in bed for a few hours, you pushed yourself up and gathered fresh clothes. You heard your parents go to bed hours ago but you were too drained to move earlier. You strip and wait for the water to turn hot, getting in once you’re satisfied with the heat. The thing that sucks is the fact that you can’t focus on anything. All you see is the disgust and hatred in his eyes.

You feel dirty.

A soft whimper falls from your lips as you begin to scrub your body harshly, hoping to get rid of the feeling. No matter how much you scrub and scratch, you can’t get the dirty feeling off. If Kaede found out about your feelings, would she hate you too? This is exactly why you refused to believe in your feelings for Sukuna. She’s always shown her interest in him; she was never discreet. You let yourself sink and hug your knees while the water pelts you.

You’re the worst kind of friend. Who in the fucking world begs the man that their friend is interested in to take them to a party, proceeds to get drunk together and then fucking makes out, almost leading to sex? Only bad friends. The worst part is you begging him to keep quiet about it, because you knew it was wrong. How dare you continue to hang out with her and act as if nothing ever happened. But, you’re a coward. You can’t fess up. You don’t want to lose another friend. You let yourself cry for a few more minutes before sucking it up and ending your shower.

The bed feels colder than usual. You feel like the loneliest person in the world. It’s funny though, since you did this to yourself. You’ll continue to talk to Kaede until she eventually finds out, because you’re a coward like that. Yeah, that’s what you are.

♡ ♡ ♡

You wake up with a headache. It must be from all the stupid crying but you push yourself up and force yourself to get through the day. You still haven’t turned your phone on, as you’re afraid of what you’ll see. Your everyday morning routine is done with ease, even with a blank mind. When you roam into the dining area, your mom jumps up.

“I thought you weren’t home. We waited all night for you,” she says while adding breakfast to a plate that’s now meant for you.

“I came home quietly.”

You take the plate from her and place it at the table, moving to help her set up everything else. She squints her judgy eyes at you, “your eyes are red and puffy.”

“Oh, she might’ve just had fun last night.”

Your dad’s voice interferes and he pops into the room with a smile. He’s obviously trying to get her off of your back, but she continues to poke at you, “or she was crying. What happened?”

“I drank a lot.”

Your unfiltered comment has your parents at a loss for words and you laugh, “I’m being responsible so please stop treating me like I’m some child.”

The breakfast that your mom cooked might’ve been really tasty but you can’t seem to taste a single thing. It’s all bland to you, sadly. You feel their eyes on you. It’s annoying. With wavering patience, you place your utensils down and stand, “I’m done.”

Their whispered argument goes on deaf ears as you walk back into your room to get ready. You do your makeup as quickly as possible and then turn your phone on. There’s a message or two from Kaede and she’s apologizing for getting too drunk. Does she even know what happened last night? You don’t have the heart to respond, so you turn off your read notifications and leave her unanswered. Kazuya’s messages are just him apologizing for leaving early. You give him a short response but that’s all. Sukuna hasn’t messaged you at all, and that’s something you should probably get used to.

Anyways, you need to end things with Kazuya. You can’t continue to lead him on like this, and you should probably tell him the truth. It’s the least you can do for him. You asked to meet up with him after work and he agreed in an instance. Now all that’s left is the waiting game.

It’s not as easy to distract yourself when you’re panicking over what to say and how you’ll say it. He’s such a sweetheart that you might break and cry while telling him everything. He’d probably even question why you’re the one crying when it should be him… Oh god, you seriously need to pull yourself together before you make any situation worse.

For hours, you practiced what you would say to Kazuya so you wouldn’t stutter for words. You looked into a mirror and trained your facial expressions so that you’d be less tense in front of him. You even imagined the pained expression that he would hold when you broke the news to him, but you still felt horrible when doing so. Kazuya truly is a soft soul and a great friend. You’d hate to lose him, but you know he’ll be gone. You’ll be left alone for a long time too, since Kaede and Sukuna won’t stay by you after this either.

It’s already a little past 6pm and you’re on your way to meet Kazuya. He chose a small coffee shop since he wanted some caffeine. You stop in front of the door and take a deep breath, preparing yourself for the last time. Just like before, you force a smile and pull the door open, the little bell dinging above your head.

“Welcome in,” you hear the employee greet. You suck in a breath and lock eyes with Kazuya who waves you down. He looks different today, almost as if he knows something. Yes, he’s smiling, but it’s forlorn. You walk to him and sit down, nervously accepting the warm drink he offers you.

“I went ahead and ordered for you too,” he says while retracting his hand.

“Thanks.”

It’s a dry reply. Oh god, you feel terrible. Kazuya taps the table with the pads of his fingers, “listen, about last night, I’m so sorry.”

You shake your head, maybe a little too fast, “it’s fine, seriously. I–”

He cuts you off, “you wanted to talk to me, I know. So, what is it?”

“Uh…”

Shit! All those hours of practicing went to fucking waste! Why can’t you speak up? Are you just stupid and useless? Is that it? He deserves to know the truth, so why can’t you stop being a coward and speak up? You called him to talk, so talk.

Kazuya’s hand slides across the table and he gently holds your index finger. Only that finger. You appreciate how he still respects your space and boundaries, even after all those months of you basically leading him on. He rubs his finger over your smooth nail polish and he shoots you a kind smile, “you have pretty hands.”

“You always say that.”

A grin stretches as you recall the many times he’s complimented them. No matter what color or length, he’d always comment on it. The memories are bittersweet as well, and you’re a bit upset at yourself for even smiling at a time like this. Kazuya’s other hand brushes through his hair, revealing his forehead as he does so.

“It’s about time you smile at me, timid girl.”

Your face turns red, mainly from embarrassment, “I’m sorry, Kazuya.”

He lets go of your finger and grabs his cup, drinking the warm beverage. When he’s done, he looks back at you, “It’s alright, y/n. I think I know what this is about.”

“You do?”

Your voice is small. You hate it. How can Kazuya keep smiling at you?

“I’ve been trying for months, y/n. I’m not clueless.”

Your head falls, “I’m sorry.”

The fact that you don’t deny him only proves his theory. Kazuya didn’t know for sure, but now his questions and doubts are confirmed. He tries not to let it show and instead keeps smiling at you, “I told you that I noticed how you changed here and there over time, but I didn’t want to bother you about it in case you were also figuring yourself out.”

Kazuya becomes quiet for a short while but then continues, “I didn’t want to believe it at first, but after I saw Sukuna’s wallpaper, everything just kind of clicked. You’re not a good liar either, y/n, but I like that about you. It makes you kind of cute.”

You laugh again, because you don’t know what to say. All you know how to say is ‘sorry’ and you’re sure that Kazuya doesn’t want to keep hearing that from you.

Everything about him is calm, from the way he looks at you, to the way he speaks. He seems completely fine on the outside, but he’s screaming at himself internally. He wants to break down and cry because he does truly like you, but what good is it if the person you’re interested in just can’t find it within themselves to like you back. His right leg bounces quickly under the table, but you don’t know that.

Kazuya suddenly leans over the table to tap your hand, mainly to get your attention, “I really liked you and I hoped that we could work out, but I understand. Thank you for trying anyway, y/n.”

There’s a small, teeny tiny weight that lifts from your chest, “is this really okay with you, Kazuya?”

“Mmm… no hard feelings, promise.”

Poor guy… he’s flashing you such a pretty smile but you can see the tears welling in his eyes. You only have yourself to blame for this. If you were honest from the beginning then he wouldn’t have gotten hurt like this. You tilt your head up at Kazuya when he pulls on your finger.

“It’s always been him, huh?”

Does he seriously want an answer to that? It would only hurt him more… You see the expectant expression though, so you nod with shame, “I didn’t want it to be him, I swear. He just snuck his way in.”

Kazuya lets your finger go and slowly slides his hand back towards himself, “but does he like you?”

He already knows the answer. Even a blind man can see just how much you two pine for each other; he just wishes you were more honest with yourselves.

You clench the cup a bit tighter, “I’m sorry.”

His expression softens quickly, “for what?”

“I’m sorry for not seeing you in a romantic way, Kazuya.”

Oh my god. That’s the worst kind of thing to say. Please, shut the fuck up.

You’re expecting him to cry, but he bursts out laughing, a hand flying over his mouth to try and hide it. When you furrow your brows at him, he dips his head and takes a minute to collect himself.

“Don’t say things like that, you’ll make me feel small both emotionally and physically. Anyhow,” he snickers one last time to mask his sadness, “I’m rooting for you. I don’t know what’ll happen to you guys, since Kaede is also in the picture, but I’ll always be cheering you on. I hope you get your happy ending, timid girl.”

It’s odd. You hate Sukuna’s ‘halfie’ but you don’t seem to mind Kazuya’s ‘timid girl’. Is that weird?

Your lip quivers, “I’m sorry that I can’t love you in the same way.”

“Stop,” he teases, “you’ll make me cry. I’m trying to seem tough here.”

Kazuya stands from the table first and waits for you to get up. Like a gentleman, he assists you out of the cafe and holds the door for you.

“I guess we should stop our frequent meetups from here on out.”

He holds his arms open and you rush in to return his hug, holding him as tightly as you can. This is supposed to make you feel better, but you only feel like shit. Well, you are kind of shit, but there’s no need to continue berating yourself.

Ugh, fucking bitch. You’re crying. Kazuya’s soft chuckle vibrates against you while his hands rub your back soothingly, “this must’ve been a tough decision for you, y/n. I know it’s not easy, you did good.”

“I–” you get a bit choked up, but keep going, “I am truly sorry towards you, for not being able to feel the same way.”

Kazuya pulls his face back to look directly in your eyes, a tiny grin on his lips, “I told you that it was all okay. I understand completely, alright? Friends?”

Another fat tear rolls down your cheek, “yeah, friends.”

He rests his face against the side of your head before giving it a quick kiss, “talk it out with Sukuna, alright? He’s a cool guy.”

“He’s an ass, but I will.”

♡ ♡ ♡

Welp! That’s one problem gone. Now you’ve got another storm of problems to get over. How will you confront Sukuna and how will you tell Kaede without causing any more problems? She’s going to be upset, that’s unavoidable. The problem is how upset she’ll be. You’re not sure how far she and Sukuna have gone, but based on how they acted in the club, they might’ve gotten pretty far with each other. Afterall, Sukuna isn’t exactly an in-your-face type of guy, so if they are together then it’s on the downlow, and if that’s the case then it’s no wonder he got so upset with you. You curse under your breath at yourself. You should’ve just asked Kaede a month ago if she and Sukuna were exclusive. You remember the way he held her hips and how they grinded against each other. A shudder runs down your spine at the fact that they might be sleeping together already.

Shit. Whether you say something or not, you’re gonna lose. It’s a lose-lose situation for you regardless of what you do, and that fucking sucks!

“I’m fucking stupid,” you mutter to yourself.

When you’re back in reality, you recognize the area. Your stupid feet have led you to the train tracks you used to hang out at. All those memories of you arguing with Sukuna over little things come flying by and you laugh to yourself while the rocks crunch beneath you. You also remember throwing salt at him all the time. Oh yeah. You haven’t done that in a long while. You keep going, choosing to walk on the actual tracks instead but as you get further, your heart seems to pulse faster. Your intuition tells you to turn and run, far away, but your feet won’t listen.

And, shit. What are the odds that you’d run into him here, today? Well, that’s exactly what the fuck just happened! Why is he here? Why is he sitting on the tracks with his back turned to you? His intoxicating scent fills your nostrils and you switch to breathing through your mouth, refusing to allow him in. His hair isn’t styled today, it’s left soft and untouched, blowing gently with the light breeze. You stand still and hold your breath, trying not to make too much sound but it’s too late.

“You’re always late, Kaede. Next time I’m ditching–”

Sukuna’s words are cut short when he turns around and finds you instead. Why the fuck are you here? Who the hell invited you? He hates that you still look beautiful.

All you can do is stare at him. He looks so different from before; it’s the way his eyes no longer hold any warmth for you. You should’ve taken advantage of those eyes back then, but who would’ve known that you two would end up like this so quickly. It’s just barely 7pm and the orange sky behind him suits him so well. It complements the pigment of his skin and blends in prettily with his artificial pink hair. If you were a bigger fool, you’d think that you were in hell with the devil himself. His aura and glare are enough to burn through your skin and you’re foolish, because you can’t seem to run away.

“You should probably get outta here, Kaede will be here soon,” he spits out, turning away so that he can no longer see you.

“Sukuna, about–”

He cuts you off, “you should also stop coming here, to all the areas we’ve hung out before. It wouldn’t be good for either of us to keep on running into each other.”

So what the fuck does that mean? Is he confirming that he and Kaede are together? Are they cutting you off? You’re really sick and tired of crying, but you can’t stop.

You’re quiet, so he goes on, “I’ll still be around when Kaede wants to hang out with you, but don’t expect too much. I’ll talk to you here and there so it doesn’t come off as weird, but I won’t get in yours or Kazuya’s way.”

You’re not ready for either of this. You were not expecting to run into Sukuna so soon and you don’t know what to say to him. You haven’t had the time to try and sort this shit out, so for it to come flying at you like this all at once has you overwhelmed. Right now, you wish a train would just come and run you over, but that’s not happening. Not anytime soon, at least.

You’re too quiet. Sukuna lazily tilts his head towards you and clicks his tongue at what he sees.

“Seriously? You’re crying now?” He snickers dryly, “you’re really fucking crying right now?”

A short sob falls from your lips, “can I not cry when my feelings are hurt?”

“No, you don’t get to cry.”

He closes the distance between you, “and don’t even think about trying to cry about this later. I won’t fall for it.”

Your mouth falls agape and you think about how none of this would’ve been a problem if he had just left you alone the second time you guys talked. You try to blink away the rest of your tears, “I never asked for this. I didn’t ask for you to stay by my side and cling to me.”

Sukuna thinks it’s funny, so he laughs in a spiteful manner. Weren’t you the one who came to bother him? Asking about his name and shit? Talking about always seeing him linger on the fucking streets?

“Oh, so now you’re ungrateful too, bitch.”

You shove him away on instinct, “would you stop that?”

His tongue comes out to poke at the corner of his mouth while he chuckles, “stop what? My sarcasm?” he steps closer again, towering over you, “why? Does it hurt you?”

“Yeah, it fucking hurts me, Sukuna,” you quietly admit, a new stream of tears slipping past your eyes.

When you think about your argument last night, your heart aches and you don’t want to feel this way anymore. You just want to get it over with. When you think about how he’s waiting for Kaede right now, your heart falls to pieces.

“Seeing you with her hurts my feelings. I’m jealous, really jealous.”

Everything cunning about Sukuna drops and he backs away from you, pushing his hair back in frustration, “you don’t get to feel that way! Not now, not ever.” His chest heaves heavily as he speaks to you, “what gives you the right to, hm? That you realized you liked me too late?”

He comes to you again but you don’t move, you don’t wince at his aggression. His red hues bore into yours, “what’re you gonna do about Kazuya, huh? Tell me.”

Just tell him. That’s all you need to do. Tell him that you ended things with Kazuya. As easy as it sounds like to do so, you can’t. You just ended things with him and even that hurt. You can still see just how much he was holding back, how hard he was trying to not cry in front of you. You remember how when you both parted ways, you turned around and saw his arms raise towards his face. He broke down when he was sure you were already walking away from him, and it made you feel like the shittiest person alive because he didn’t deserve that. And even if you could tell Sukuna, you’re more worried now than ever about the fact that he and Kaede might be dating. Everything he’s doing, all of this anger, it’s possible that he’s angry with you because you’re too late and they’re already together.

Sukuna’s irises flick back and forth all over your face as he waits for you to speak up. Why aren’t you saying anything? Why can’t you ever say anything?

“Stop fucking crying, y/n,” he says in a softer tone, more so to help himself calm down.

“This is stupid,” you say weakly, “I’m being stupid.”

You quickly wipe your eyes and turn around to leave. That’s better anyway because Kaede could show up at any moment.

“Don’t walk away from me,” he chases after you with long strides, “we aren’t done talking about this.”

“Well, I am.”

“Well I’m not, so get your ass back here before I lift you over my shoulder and drag you away myself.”

You still haven’t turned around, “that’s kidnapping.”

He stands right behind you, “I don’t give a shit, y/n. I’ll do it, you know I will.”

He’s not bluffing. You hate that you know. You take a deep breath and turn back to face him.

“That’s what I thought.”

“You’re a fucking dick.”

“Says the one causing problems.”

“Says the one causing problems.”

“That’s what I thought.”

“You’re a fucking dick.”

@lucyrocks86 @mykyoon @hxlalokidottir @wo-ming-bai @yourusernames @adoraspace

[sandinthemachine]

Can I get the "I'm not scared but if you are you can hold my hand" with könig I need more of this ball of anxiety. Maybe watching a scary movie or everyone going through a haunted trail? Maybe he's scared of the anamatronic shows that are in the malls and doesn't wanna walk past them cause he saw 1 (one) FNAF video and thought it was real. Idk what one you use but I just need him being a big baby lmaoo

I have been trying to write this for a month so I kinda decided fuck it let's polish it best I can and post it now

The camel idea came from a farmer I know (sorry, buddy, it was too good not to steal), and the jello idea...uhh, congratulations, you know one (1) weird fact about me :/

enjoy!

Words: 1159ish

-

��I don’t get it, it’s just a ton of water.”

You gasp melodramatically, shaking your head. “König, you did not just call the ocean ‘a ton of water.’” You hold your fingers up to make exaggerated air quotes.

“That is what it is.”

You make a frustrated sound, flinging your arms up, only to be met by a chuckle. “You’re terrible, you know that?”

He bursts into a full-on laugh. “You should see your face when you get frustrated, it gets so cute and scrunchy.”

You squeeze your shoulders up, glowering, but he sees right through it, swinging an arm around them and pulling you into his side to kiss your hair. You bite your lips, trying to hide the growing smile, but he knows it’s there.

“Alright them,” he straightens up, clearing his throat and trying to school his face into something serious. “Let us go see what is so special about your ocean in particular.”

You smile. “Trust me, your mind will be blown. But you have to wait a bit. I need to swing by the barn first, I promised I’d check in on the calves this morning while the farm hands are busy with planting.”

You were overjoyed that König was finally getting to visit your hometown, but with his busy schedule the only time he could come see you was smack dab in the middle of planting season. Luckily you did mostly barn work, so with a healthy amount of convincing and only a little promised overtime your manager had decided to let you have your afternoons off. It was still early in the season, so there weren’t too many calves yet, and it shouldn’t take long at all before you could enjoy your first day of adventures with your partner.

“I could come help, you know. It would go much faster.”

“You would do that?”

He snorts. “Of course I would.”

You beam at him, wrapping him into a tight hug. “You’re the best,” you mumble into his chest.

“I know.”

You scoff, shoving him away with a laugh.

-

As you swing the barn door open, you’re greeted by a rumbling bellow that has you leaping backwards. “Holy shit, I completely forgot.” You turn to König, blushing a bit. “So it turns out we’re babysitting a camel right now for the next farm over. He’s really loud but he’s not that bad, I promise.”

König freezes. “No. No way.”

“What?”

“I don’t do camels.”

“What do you mean you don’t-”

“They are tall and weird.”

“So you two should get along perfectly.”

“This is no time for jokes!” König throws his forearms over his head and turns around.

You snort. “Is it the neck thing? Are you afraid of alpacas, too?”

“I am…” he pauses, letting out a rushed breath. “I am not afraid of camels.”

“Of course, of course. You’re not afraid of anything, big guy. But…you know, we could get this done faster if we split up, I’ll muck out the camel while you do the calves next door.”

“Uh-uh, no way I’m leaving you alone with a camel.”

You shake your head at him, breathing an exasperated sigh. “So what, then? You think you can go near him without having a heart attack?”

He glares at you, and you throw your hands up in surrender before turning and heading back into the barn. You hear his stomping footsteps follow you, but as soon as you go up to the camel’s stall, they freeze.

You pause, turning around to take in the sight of König. Tall and broad, a soldier through and through, easily one of the scariest people you know. And here he stands, arms crossed tightly over his chest, bottom lip puffed out. Pouting like a teenager.

You can’t help but giggle at that. “Come on, then.” You hold out your hand. “I’ll guard you with my life, I promise.”

He scoffs, turning to glare at the wall. “I don’t get scared,” he grumbles. “But…if you are, I’ll hold your hand.”

“Oh, I’m terrified.”

“Fine, then.”

-

Luckily it’s a day where the camel decides to be well-behaved. So an hour later the two of you recline on the beach, sweaty and smelling like the barn, laughing over ice cream. Well, you are. König finished his in two bites.

You glance up, eyes finding his. “So what gave you such strong feelings about camels anyway?”

He sighs, leaning back on his forearms. “It was a…what’s the word, those places where you go to touch all the animals and…”

“Oh! Petting zoo.”

“Yeah, that’s the one.”

“Sooo…what happened at the petting zoo?”

He chews his lip, glancing down. “I was small…well, smaller, and I was feeding the animals. And I kept holding out the food to the camel, and then…” he chuckles, swiping a hand over his mouth, “every time it would try to eat I would jump back and laugh at it, and it made the silliest sounds.” He trails off, face going deadly serious. “And then it…spat…all over me, and my entire family laughed.”

You nod, chewing on your tongue. “Yeah, that’s…” you swallow, staring at your ice cream, “that sucks.” Your voice cracks and you bite your tongue, trying not to smile. “How old were you?”

“12.”

“WHAT?!” You cackle, slapping your palm over your mouth and falling back into the sand, shaking. “You…when you...when you said really little I thought you meant,” you guffaw, burying your face in your hands, “I thought you meant actually…”

“It’s not funny,” he says flatly, staring out to the ocean. “I am traumatized for life.”

You snort. “That’s what you get for being an asshole.”

His head snaps back towards you, but the side of his mouth is curling up slightly.

“Hey, it’s okay.” You sit up, patting his shoulder in mock camaraderie. “I’m afraid of jello.”

“The…food?” His eyebrows scrunch as you nod and he gives you a weird look.

“I mean it!” You grin. “When I was a kid I’d always have nightmares about drowning in jello, my mom couldn’t even take me through the jello aisle at the grocery store because I’d start crying.”

He stares at his knees, rubbing a hand over his mouth.

“I know you’re smiling.”

“I’m not.” He shakes his head emphatically, only for his shoulders to immediately shake with laughter.

You chuckle, joining him.

“You know,” he leans back again, grinning. “I’m gonna make you jello someday.”

“Please don’t.”

“I will.”

“I’ll bring a camel into the house if you do.”

He giggles. “Yes, go to the grocery store and buy a camel.”

“I have my ways.”

“I’m sure you do,” he scoffs, pulling you into his side. “I’ll make sure to watch out for stray camels.”

You snuggle into his shoulder. “Yeah, you’d better,” you yawn. “Better watch your back.”

“Always do.” He kisses your forehead, smiling as your eyes start to drift closed.

[iwriteasfotini]

Jegulus Excerpt

My third Jegulus days celebration post. I know it was yesterday, but is there really such a thing as too much Jegulus? Nope. Another excerpt from Book 3, written from James’ POV. It stands alone from the excerpts I shared for day one and day two and is from Chapter XXI. More budding Starchaser for your entertainment. 

Showered and changed, the team left the locker room arm in arm. There were still many people milling about the lawn, as it was such a lovely day. And soon the team was scattered among friends who wanted to recap the match. James looked to the lake, where he thought his mates were most likely to be. All three were there, Remus skimming stones while Sirius and Peter lay in the grass. But they hadn’t spotted James yet, so he took another sweeping look around the grounds and saw what he was looking for, a shadow shifting near the locker room entrances. 

He doubled back, if anyone asked he’d say he had left something behind. He hustled back to the locker room, and slipped through the door. And James should have been surprised, but he wasn’t to find Regulus standing in the middle of the room, hands in his pockets. He was decked out in Slytherin colors, and the emerald green contrasted wonderfully with his pale complexion and dark hair. 

Before James could say so much as “hey” Regulus began speaking very fast, “I know I shouldn’t be here. I know you are my brother’s best friend. I know you hate me and the rest of my house. I just wanted to say I’ve enjoyed watching you fly this season. You are really good James. And you are a team player.” 

James could tell Regulus was rambling out of nerves. So James cut him off, “well I train really hard. You should come fly with me. Not like you need the practice.”

Regulus bit his lip and smiled sheepishly. James had rarely seen Regulus show an emotion that wasn’t disdain or aloofness. He had a really nice smile, and it reached all the way to his eyes, just like Sirius’ did. James’ stomach did a little flip and he felt some color creep into his cheeks. Thank goodness his dark skin didn’t show blushes as easily, what would Regulus think of him?

“You had better enjoy the Quidditch Cup while you have it, because next year we are going to be wiping the floor with you.”

“Oh really,” James took two steps forward. “I don’t know, the Slytherin’s looked pretty tame this year. Maybe you all have lost your touch. And for as little as I’ve seen you training, who’s to say you are even as good as I remember.”

“I’m excellent,” Regulus replied, eyes narrowing. But James shrugged. 

“I’ll believe it when I see it.”

Regulus pursed his lips, which were slightly less full than Sirius’.

“Fine, Wednesday morning. I’ll come fly with you, as long as -”

“Regulus,” James held up his hand, “I’m taking your secrets to the grave. You can trust me, yeah?” They stared at each other, then James watched a smile creep across Regulus’ face. James smirked back, and to keep the situation from getting any more awkward, he spit into his right hand and held it out to Regulus, who did not hesitate to mimic the gesture. They shook with a squelch. 

And when neither of them had let go after a solid ten seconds of shaking, James looked at their hands and said, “so, um, we gonna stand here all day or…”

Regulus went crimson, and he dropped James’ hand. 

“Wednesday,” James called after him as Regulus made to leave out the back door of the locker room. Regulus nodded and gave him a small smile. James stood in the empty locker room and then put his hands into his pockets, palm still slick with spit he didn’t feel the urge to wipe off. 

…

You can find more info on this series in my pinned post. Unfortunately, this is from Book 3, which is fully written but doesn’t have an announced posting date as of yet. But it’s coming to AO3, I promise! On Sunday I'm announcing the title, POV, and posting date for Book 2 in my Weekly Update.

[5and3nevermind]

Have you heard about the recent hate directed towards jm’s dad from solos and delusional taekookers? It was so bad to the point that the cafe’s instagram had to turn off their comments.

The hate towards jm seems to be endless and is so frustrating especially when it comes from shippers who hate him based on their own made up fantasies.

Hi anon. Yes, I have. I’ve been thinking about what to say about it. In fact, I have a post sitting in my drafts that I saved so that I could think it over. I edited it and toned it way down, but then I wondered what the point would even be of posting in its current milder form.

Not to make this about me, but when someone says something that hurts me, my instinct is to back away and not argue about it. I know that’s not ideal.

I really care about Jm, and when I see everything that’s going on lately, I end up reporting/blocking people and logging off. I’m not sure if the people who are harassing him and his family can be reasoned with. So what’s the point? I don’t know what the answer is.

Anyway, regarding this situation…

I want to preface this by saying that we shouldn’t make blanket statements about people. There are kind, reasonable taekookers and there there are cruel, unreasonable ones. Same with jikookers, solos, ot7, etc.

That said, I think the situation with the cafe is out of control and a lot of it is born out of information being taken out of context.

There is no “jkk shrine” at the cafe. The table that we often see in pictures is filled with items, the vast majority of which have to do with Jm and only Jm. These items were gifts from fans. They were not hand-picked by Jm’s dad or anyone else at the cafe. A friend of mine visited the cafe about six months ago, and sent me pics because she knew I’d be curious. (They aren’t my pics to post, so I can’t share them here, unfortunately.) I spotted maybe two “jikook” items in her pics and they weren’t even shippy. It was, like, a pic of Jm and Jk standing next to each other. Not a big deal and totally platonic if you ask me.

There have been other little things: bt21 characters and whatnot, for instance on the Christmas tree, but this is not some grand declaration that “jkk is real” like some people want to believe. So, taekookers and solos need to calm the hell down. He can display whatever he wants in his own cafe. If it bothered jm or jk or anyone else in the group, or the company, I’m pretty damn sure they’d just approach his dad and discuss it. People act as if the guys lack the ability to handle things themselves.

In this situation, there is plenty of blame to go around: the jikooker who sent the “jikook is real” card or whatever that was needs to have some class. I talk about shipping here in my weird little corner of tumblr, but sending something to the cafe? That’s not right. Meanwhile, other shippers, solos, etc need to leave Jm and his family alone. Why do they assume the worst intentions of others? Maybe he read the note and didn’t think it was a big deal? Maybe he didn’t translate the note from Spanish to Korean and wasn’t aware of what it said? Maybe his dad didn’t even see it himself and it was placed there by cafe staff? Either way, WHO CARES.

And then of course, after all of this mess there was retaliation toward Jk via Bam’s account. Which is equally unhinged. What on earth does that accomplish?

I’m Jm biased and often can’t stand the way some people in this fandom talk about him. I have loads of theories about why this is, why he is assigned attributes that aren’t in-line with reality. But I don’t want to discuss that and put those negative thoughts out into the universe.

I’ll just finish by saying that I understand a lot of people lump all of us shippers into one category. But I think for the most part yoonminers do a good job of staying in our lane and not causing drama. There have been plenty of rumors of yoonmin sightings, a paparazzi video, etc and we never say a word about it thank you very much! Because we know our place, and we understand that the guys’ safety and privacy is way more important than winning some online argument. I’ve written about…I don’t know…70% of my yoonmin thoughts/opinions on this blog because the other 30% is none of our business and I don’t need to be shouting it from the rooftops.

(I tried to take Jm’s name out of this post so it wouldn’t be searchable in that way, but I probably missed at least one. I’m happy to discuss this a little more but otherwise I think it’s best to move on to more positive matters. 💜)

[hogans-heroes]

https://www.tumblr.com/hogans-heroes/745106785450459136/with-my-background-in-hogans-heroes-i-dont-know

this is so heartbreaking. i could see bucky landing himself in there more and more often when he starts to spiral, until maybe one day something happens in there that goes further than the typical beating they’d normally give him. he’s different when he comes out probably more withdrawn and stops talking to the other guys. i think bucky’s reckless behaviour could cause issues with him and buck, buck gets frustrated that bucky keeps getting himself thrown in the cooler for many reasons. it’s frustrating to him that he loves bucky so much and he’s careless with his life, and that he keeps leaving him alone in the stalag. but when bucky comes out that time i think he’d notice something is different and crawl into his bunk for the first time in a while that night and maybe bucky would safe enough to tell him ❤️

also! this got long but i could see them putting other guys in there to punish certain people😭

GodDAMMIT I TYPED A WHOLE LONG ANSWER TO THIS AND TUMBLR ATE IT IM SO PISSED NOOO

first of all this is perfect and angsty and horrible and it floored me for days with too many thoughts, secondly I’m actually writing a drabble for this thanks to your ideas so I’ll keep this shorter and I’m so sorry and mad that my long answer got ate and I don’t even remember what I said 😭

I guess it’s a sign that I shouldn’t spoil what the drabble is going to be about because that’s what I typed before (mostly) so keep a lookout for that.

You are so right with all of this, it would be a spiral for both of them, Gale because Bucky keeps leaving him and doesn’t know how bad he gets when Bucky isn’t there, and Bucky is spiraling because of what’s happening to him in the cooler. At some point it would come to a head and the others are going to have to act fast so they don’t loose both their majors…

Ok no more spoilers…planning to post later today ❤️

[kumoriyami-xiuzhen]

Hakuoki Drama CD - Shimabara Disturbance Track 5 English translation

It probably says something about my interests when I saw the You Can Call Me Bill documentary in theatres that I was probably the youngest person in the audience. Also, I was able to post this right away since I translated this way back in January 2021... as I have a tendency to do shorter things first lol.

Hakuoki Drama CD - Shimabara Disturbance Track 5 - What I wanted to convey

Translation by KumoriYami

Hijikat: Damn it, where the hell did that guy go?

Okita: What should we do? Hijikata-san, it's already dark.

Hijikata: No way around it. We're going back to headquarters.

Toudou: Eh? We're not going search anymore?

Hijikata: We'll go back and talk about how to deal with the situation. Isn't it useless if we keep looking around here?

Sen: We'll keep looking. As soon as I know where she is, I'll contact you.

Hijikata: Why? Don't you disapprove of Chizuru staying with us?

Sen: Although that's what I originally thought, it's a bit different now.

Hijikata: Different? What does that mean/What do you mean?

Sen: Since I first heard about you guys wanting to see her in a beautiful kimono, I've been thinking that, perhaps you might not be simply using Chizuru-chan.

Hijikata: Mhm...

Sen: Chizuru-chan is still missing, and you're all doing everything you can to find her. If you were just taking advantage of/using Chizuru, you could have other people look for her, and there would be no need to inconvenience yourselves. I finally understand why she's happy when she's with all of you.

Hijikata: I don't understand what you're saying, we're going/let's go!

(everyone leaves)

Toudou: Where the hell did Chizuru go?

Saito: A girl doesn't have that much stamina, so she shouldn't have gone far.

Toudou: That guy, she suddenly taken away [kidnapped], and wasn't even wearing straw sandals [zōri]. Are her feet are hurting right now?

Okita: That won't matter, will it? Maybe she's hiding with someone/someone's hiding her?

Toudou: Someone? Who do you mean?

Okita:Who knows? She looked so pretty, so who knows how many men would help hide her?

Toudou: Uh... No...no way! That definitely won't happen!

Saito: Souji! Don't make careless speculations without any evidence!

harada: Hm?

Okita: Oh? What's wrong, Sano-san? Why did you suddenly stop?

harada: No.... wait a second.

Nagakura: What? Did you forget something?

Harada: No, I'm not you. Over there, isn't someone in front of headquarters?

Toudou: Eh? Co-Could that be.... hey~!

(runs)

Toudou: Chizuru! It's really Chizuru!

Harada: Ah? Really?!

(everyone else runs over)

Hijikata: Hah.... Chizuru! You're okay!

Toudou: That's great! We were all worried about you!

Harada: I didn't expect you to come back to headquarters.

Okita: Indeed. Why did you come back? This was obviously a good chance for you to escape.

HIjikata: Oh...? You couldn't help but come back here? Haha, you....

Okita: Haha. Truly, you're such a strange kid.

Harada: Well, whatever. Anyway, it's good that you're okay.

Saito: Hah...

Nagakura: What's wrong, Saito? Why do you looked so dazed?

Saito: Ah... it's nothing.

Hijikata: It's useless just to stand here. Chizuru's come back, and Sen needs to be told.... At any rate, let's go back to headquarters.

Harada: But, Chizuru can't come in while she's dressed like this. Anyway, I'll go get you a change of clothes, so wait for a bit.

Saito: What's wrong, Yukimura? Why are you staring at my face?

Saito:...I'll stay with you until you have a change of clothes. I can't leave you here alone by yourself.

Saito: Don't mention it. This is also part of my official duties.

Saito: Oh... hah.... Today Kazama caused quite the commotion, I'm sorry. The next time we hold a banquet, I will talk to Osen about borrowing another kimono from her for you.

Saito: Yukimura.... I haven't been able to say this to you today... your kimono... it looked perfect on you.

---to be concluded---