#i should've answered this ages ago :')

[seariii]

I told them.... I did....

[sainns]

I'll GO AS LONG AS IT'S WITH YOU.

𝓢. ㅤㅤlate (2:58AM late) night confession.

NRKㅤ✶ ㅤ (⠀gnreader⠀) . . . f2l, riki is kinda cocky help, suicide joke, dialogue heavy, i had no idea how to end this so sorry for the awkward ending, not proofread.ㅤ1241 words

it's almost three in the morning when you hear something hit your window along with the buzzing of your phone. you turn over, groaning in annoyance; you know exactly who it is.

nishimura riki, the absolute bane of your existence. the boy you've lived next to since you were five years old, the boy who has unfortunately forced his way into becoming your best friend.

he's not as bad as you make him out to be, not really, he just has an annoying habit of wanting to take you to random abandoned places he's found with his friends. places he insists are better in the middle of the night, when there's no noise nor light in your small town.

you hit answer after the third ring, holding your phone up to your ear, "what?"

"you have bad manners," he replies. you can hear his stupidly endearing smile through the phone, "anyways, get up, i'm taking you somewhere,"

"i don't remember you asking," still, you push the covers away from your body, slipping out of bed.

"i don't have to ask, you'll go," he hums. you hate that he's right.

you hold back a sigh, grabbing a hoodie off of your floor. you don't bother trying to make yourself look decent, pulling the hoodie over your head and leaving on your worn out pajama pants. you slip a random pair of shoes on—you thought about wearing slides but god only knows where he's taking you. the first time he did this you ended up with wet and muddy socks because of your tired decision.

“it's late,” you walk over to your window, pulling it open. you smile when you see riki wave.

“it's late,” he makes his voice an annoyingly high pitch mocking you, “like you haven't been up later,”

you roll your eyes, “whatever. where's the ladder so i can get down?”

it's dark but you can see him shrug, throwing his hands up comically, “don't know. just jump,”

“i'm not jumping out of my window,”

“why not? i'll catch you and it'll be like we're romeo and juliet,”

“juliet doesn't jump out of her window, riki,”

“she should've. maybe then she would still be alive,”

you let out a laugh of disbelief, covering your mouth with your free hand, “you're dumb. go get the ladder, please?”

“i make better grades than you do, but sure. i’ll go look for it, be back as soon as i find where your parents hid it,” he salutes you, hanging up the phone as he walks off.

you watch him for as long as you can see him, losing his figure when he walks the the side of your house. 

he's only gone for a minute or two before you see him again, this time carrying the metal ladder in his hands. you watch as he sets it up, licking his lips in concentration. then he gives you a thumbs up, signaling you to climb down.

you climb out your window, careful not to hit your head and begin your descent down. you've done this a million times at this point, you're practically an expert at sneaking out—if you ignore the one time you were caught but that was ages ago. no matter how much you claim to be an expert, though, once you're in his reach, riki continues to grab your waist to keep you steady for the last few steps.

when you place your foot on the grass, his hands leave your body. sometimes you find yourself missing his touch but you don't acknowledge that feeling.

“so, where are we going?”

he grins, “my backyard,”

you blink at him in astonishment. he woke you up at—you check your phone—2:58AM just to take you into his backyard?

“i'm going back to bed,” you attempt to turn around but riki's hand on your wrist stops you.

“yn,” he drags out the last syllable of your name, “don’t go, please. you're gonna like it,”

you frown at him, “how much?”

“so much. swear on my life,” his hand slips from your wrist into yours, lacing your fingers together.

you look down at your hands, “if i don't like it, you'll kill yourself then?”

“sure. you're gonna have to explain to my mom why i did it, though,”

“i'm think she'll understand,”

“you're annoying,” he tugs on your hand, pulling you towards his house, “come on,”

you let him pull you to his backyard and you let him cover your eyes with his hands as he walks you into his backyard. 

“okay, keep your eyes closed,” he pulls his hands away, making sure your eyes are in fact closed.

“this is scary,”

“it's just my backyard, you dork,”

“what if i open my eyes to a bunch of bodies?” you feel him kick your leg, “what the hell?”

“i don't kill people. shut up, you're ruining the moment,”

“what moment?”

“be quiet and you'll see, yeah?” 

you hum, listening to his steps get farther away from you. you have no clue as to what he's doing or why he's doing it. you figure he could've waited until the morning to show you whatever it is that's in his backyard, but that's how he is. he does whatever he wants and you follow along, even if you probably shouldn't. you can't help it.

“okay, you can open your eyes,” you hear his voice in your ear, sending shivers down your back. you open your eyes, not even bothering to be slow about it.

his backyard is lit up by fairylights, hanging up on the fence and next to the tree is a large blanket laid out with even more blankets on tops of it and pillows against the tree's trunk. you notice a basket of snacks and a laptop sitting in the middle, you smile, “what's this?”

he wraps his arm around your shoulder, “date night. we're gonna watch a movie,”

“date night?”

“uh, yeah,” he clears his throat awkwardly, “like.. a date. a couple thing,”

you look up at him, “are we a couple?”

he frowns, “okay, quit making fun of me. hold on, i need a second,”

you smile at him expectantly, a teasing glint in your eyes as you wait for him to speak.

“i like you,” he grabs your face in between his hands, bringing you closer to him, “i had a way better confession but, like, i’m way too nervous to think right now,”

you push up on feet, rising so that you can press your lips against his. it's a short kiss, nothing too extravagant, but apparently it was enough for him because when you pull away his face is a bright red and he's staring at you as if you grew a second head.

“oh. oh okay,”

“that's the worst thing you can say after kissing someone,”

“sorry! sorry—i'm nervous, i told you,” he presses his hand against your eyes stop you from looking at him so intensely.

“okay,” you hum, “you can be nervous while we're watching a movie,”

you remove his hand from over your eyes and drag him over to the mess of blankets he set up, pulling him down to sit down with you.

he groans, leaning his head against yours, “how are you being normal right now?”

“’cos i'm gonna go home and scream into my pillow then call all my friends about this,”

“you just reminded me that i need to call jake.”

[gardenofnoah]

the last part of all the times i told you. i am still ~not here~ but i started writing this ages ago and am ready to put this sweet little series to rest. talk soon love u

to watch you flit around the room makes his fingers ache. katsuki has no idea how many times you've gone back and forth between floors and from inside to back out, but to watch you makes him tired. for the first time in his life, all he wants is stillness. he wants you on this couch with him.

“c’mere.”

it's less of a command and more of a warning that comes too late, his mouth moving only after he's reached an arm out to catch you as you passed by his spot on the couch.

he pulls you until your back is pressed against his chest. you huff, squirming a little, and he doesn’t let up an inch. refuses to, now that he's got you where you should've been all afternoon.

“take your shirt off,” he mutters into the nape of your neck.

“what? it's been a long day, kat—“

“i’m not fucking you,” he groans, pressing his forehead into your warmth, “just... wanna feel you.”

he feels you go soft at his admission. you tap at his forearm to get him to let you up, and he's reluctant to but he does, electing to keep one arm around your waist as you sit up and pull the material over your head. his eyes follow the movement of it, committing the shape of you to memory like it could be ripped from him in the next second. you settle back down, facing him this time. he pulls you until there's not an inch between his chest and yours. he feels your heart kick against his own.

“missed you today.” years ago Katsuki would've rather died than admit something so vulnerable out loud, but things change. he takes a deep breath in at your hairline, soaking tissue deep in you and all that you've done today. he likes you best like this—soft, maybe a little sweaty. alive and in love.

“yeah?”

“mm.”

your lips quirk up softly, and you reach to trace the outline of his collar bone with the pads of your fingers. he cracks an eye open, glaring at you without an ounce of heat just to hear you giggle at his petulance. you tilt your head up to press a kiss to his jaw, and he feels like he's won something.

“i miss you all the time, kat.”

“maybe i want to hear it.”

“do you?”

“from you? no fuckin' way.”

you snort and roll your eyes. tucked under his chin, you don't see the smile that tugs at the corner of his mouth, always thrilled at the way his brashness doesn’t phase you. he leans forward to press it into the crown of your head. sometimes he feels so lucky it makes him a little queasy.

“i miss you all the time,” you say again. quieter, with a little more weight to it.

and he knows—he knows you do, because he does too. that feeling sits like a rock in his chest—it's there every time he wakes up too early and has to rip himself from the bed you share, all to make sure someone else can roll over to their love in the morning and not let go too soon.

it felt selfless, in the beginning. the right thing to do, a call that he answered willing. now it only hurts.

he smooths a palm up the curve of your spine to rest at the nape of your neck, and you press closer to him. sometimes he can’t believe you still do. he’s left so many times and missed so many things and somehow you still let him cling to you like it doesn’t shred your insides every time he pulls away. he thinks about how brave you’ve been—about how all the times he’s been praised for his strength or his commitment to peace, he'd deserved only a fraction of it compared to you.

he doesn’t want you to have to be brave anymore. if he’s honest with himself, he’s not sure he wants to be brave anymore, either.

“…asked Aizawa if there were any openings at the school.”

your fingers pause over his heart, and he thinks he can hear the gears in your brain turning. you lean back to look at him and he can’t read the expression on your face.

“why did you do that?”

“well if anymore of those old bastards quit those brats will be fuckin’ teaching themselves—”

“no,” you tap his chest with your fingertip to shut him up and he has to fight to suppress the smile, “no. why did you do that?”

he sighs softly, sliding his thumb down the length of your neck.

“don’t want to leave you anymore.”

“...oh,” you breathe, blinking at him like you’re still trying to catch up. he gives you time—pressing into the sides of your neck to try to will away the tension that still hasn’t left. thinking about the dimly lit moments he'll spend tracing the slope of it, just because he can—because he'll have them, now.

“you want to teach?”

“i want to come home to you in one piece,” he says, with more honesty than he thinks he's ever been capable of, “but hangin’ out with those brats shouldn’t be too bad either.”

you snort. “you think Aizawa felt that way when he taught you?”

“fuck off,” he says through a grin, “i was a damn great student.”

you smile and shake your head, and then you go quiet.

“i don’t want you to do this for me,” you whisper, like you don’t fully believe what you’re saying but think you should say it anyway. it makes him ache—it’s just like you to sacrifice for him, even now.

“not for you,” he murmurs just as gently, leaning forward to tap his forehead to yours. “because of you, a little bit, but i—“ he pauses, inhaling deeply and trying to be brave. “i want to be around. don’t like missin’ out on so much.”

and that is the truth. Katsuki thinks about the way you shuffle over the creaks in the old wooden steps every morning and he regrets that he’s not there to greet you at the bottom of them when you do. he hates the way you make breakfast alone, the way you sit at the dock without him. the way your families visit the house you bought together and he’s never in it to see them. he doesn’t know what it would be like to lean into that domesticity—into intimacy without urgency, without the tick of a clock that neither of you can see but are painfully aware of—but at this point in his life, he desperately wants to learn.

you let out a shaky exhale, wiggling closer to him. he lets you hide your face in his neck, arms coming around your back to keep you there. he thinks of how many times this has been reversed—of how many times his mind has run away from him and the only tether has been the weight of your arms around him.

“what’s the world going to do without Dynamight?”

he snorts. “they can start thanking him for beating some brains into their little shit gremlins.”

he feels your smile against his skin and it warms him. it’s another truth—and really, he does want to teach. he wants another reality for the next generation—one where they’re kept safe as long as possible. where they learn to be heroes the right way—the long way.

“love you.”

he feels it more than he hears it, rumbling from your chest to his. he pulls you closer still, leaning down to press his lips to the curve of your bare shoulder. he closes his eyes and breathes you in again.

“i love you, angel.”

[liveontelevision]

Suffer Pt. 5 | Lucifer x Reader

Hoof this one was a doozy. I struggled with it a little, there's a lot going on so :') Apologies in advance if there's any confusion. BUT EITHER WAY, it's here! 🎉

(This series is complete! All parts are listed on my master list and are linked below!)

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6

No CW! Just angst and plot!

♡♡♡

Things didn't feel out of place at first. Sure, Alastor's little stunt definitely left you shaken, but afterward it seemed that everything returned to normal. While the hotel was refurbished and had made a name for itself, it was still a struggle to get any more residents in. So things eventually went back to how they were. The only difference was Lucifer deciding to stay in the hotel, but even that.. seemed unimportant? Was that the word?

It was the strangest thing, any time you'd step outside and see the sparkling, apple ornamented tower, you'd mentally remind yourself to go say hi. Or those occasions where you'd pass Lucifer in the hallway, you'd say something about catching up or even trying to see eachother again.

Just call me!

You never got any calls, though. Any texts you sent weren't replied to. And for some strange reason, you'd rarely see Lucifer. You never really considered how much work he'd have to do, but it must be a lot for him to not even answer your calls. Or maybe he was avoiding you? You hoped that wasn't the case. You did your best to not think about it, or else you'd spiral into everything that you might've done wrong. That being said, in these brief passages, he still seemed so kind to you. Maybe you were overthinking things..

When he was comfortable enough, he would come down to the lobby and become the life of the party. He'd join everyone for drinks, crack ridiculous jokes, and generally just show off to appease his audience. You noticed he was never really looking at you, on these nights. And when you'd say something to him, respond to some joke he made, he'd look your way but wouldn't respond or he'd outright ignore you. And for everyone else, it seemed to go completely noticed. No one thought it strange for Lucifer to completely overlook you.

Your romantic dalliances weren't spoken of, but it was clear that you two were essentially inseparable at some point. Before the hotel reopened. It hurt. You tried so hard to convince yourself it was just him being busy, but fuck it still hurt.

Maybe I should confront him.

You thought about that ages ago, and no matter how easy that sounds, he really was nowhere to be found. Even at the dead of night when everyone's asleep and your nightmares, which have come back in full force, are keeping you awake; You'd go to him, but even his bedroom seemed vacant.

Thank god you weren't alone. You had your truest friend, Alastor, ready to comfort you whenever you needed it. He suggested you start listening to his nighttime broadcasts again, and as usual, he was right. It became a comforting sensation when your bed was feeling empty. He knew that Lucifer would hurt you again and he warned you multiple times. You should've just listened.

"Fuck, I'm sorry Al, I just.. I feel so stupid. I should've listened to you in the first place. I don't know what I did wrong, I thought I - that maybe we were.." After an especially long night, your willpower to hold back any tears had been exhausted. A puffy-eyed, sniffling, mess, Alastor lets you lean into his side as he embraces your entirety quite easily with his lengthy limbs. You both sat at the edge of your bed, him brushing hair from your face and occasionally cooing you and hushing you.

"No need to apologize, darling, I'm only worried for your wellbeing. But it was probably for the best, I'm glad it came to an end before it got too serious, hm?" As he went on, it only left you bursting into tears again. Things had become serious. If only he knew.. maybe he should know. You can trust him, it's just Alastor after all. You were so restless and drunk, you were desperate for comfort. You told him everything.

"Well! Isn't that..! Something.. " He clears his throat once he sees your expectant, tearful eyes. "Oh, my poor thing. You've been through it all, haven't you?" He pulled you even closer as he spoke, you shifted to your side and leaned into his chest. He fully comforted you in an embrace that was very needed.

"I just don't understand-" He shushes you before you can go on.

"Don't you worry. I'll be here for you, right to the end." You were too exhausted to question his phrase, suddenly feeling the weight of your eyelids pulling your eyes closed.

"Stay- please.. stay..." Your voice was hardly a whisper, as you gripped onto his coat that was already stained with your tears. He nodded, and before you knew it, you were curled up in his arms. Your head resting against his chest felt softer than your own pillows at that moment. He draped your beloved sweater over your shoulders as you muffled more depressing thoughts into his chest. He began to hum some song, one you recognized from the radio. The tone was low and comfortable, the vibrations from his chest, forced a shaky yet relaxed sigh from your lips. He continued to comb through your hair, and maybe if you were sober and alert, you could recognize the sensation of a subtle kiss on the top of your head.

-

The next morning, Lucifer finds himself sitting at his fancy new desk, a small amenity in the upgrade of a workshop he had received. He moved to the hotel for one reason only; to be closer to Charlie, and help her no matter what's in store. And maybe, another perk is being closer to you.. That’s just a plus, though. Focus on your priorities, Lucifer.

Letting out a frustrated groan, he tossed whatever papers he was holding to the side and leaned back in his chair. Resting his eyes on the ceiling with his head tilted back, the quiet of the room seemed to help clear his mind. For a minute. Then, all he could think of was your sweet voice, scolding him for leaving any marks on you during your little "meet-ups". He would do it on purpose, just to see you flustered. With a nervous hand around his neck, he feels himself gulp at the thought. He had gone centuries without being touched like that and seemed content. But remembering the feeling of your hands running across his chest.. How could just the thought work him up?

"Maybe, I should.. ugh, no! Who am I kidding?” With a flustered curse, he kicked his chair out and began to circle his room.

"Maybe I should go talk to her! Yeah! But.. she's not answering your calls.. so, maybe.. she wants to talk in person..? That's it! Or.. no... Maybe I should wait.. I shouldn't wake her up so early in the morning.. or should I even be going to her? What if she needs space? What if I don't give her that and then I-I ruin it? Again??" He continues this panicked conversation with himself for a while, battling the decision to just go and profess an undying love that even he might be overthinking.

Fuck it.

He fills his lungs with air before walking straight up to your door, fist ready in the air to knock. Sure it was early, he knew you liked to sleep in a little longer than this. It even made him question again whether or not he should just wait for -

The door swings open, with Lucifer's fist still in the air.

Of course. Of, fucking, course.

"Ahh! Another visit from Our Majesty! I'm afraid she's rather exhausted after all the drinks- and crying- from our previous night together, so I would suggest you go elsewhere." Alastor stood in the door frame, blocking the entirety of your room from Lucifer. Even peeking to the side, trying to catch a glimpse of you, Alastor stepped in his way.

"Don't do this, Alastor. I only want to- wh- did you say crying? " He had a whole rant he was about to read off about how inappropriate Alastor was, toying with your feelings somehow, and how he didn't trust him one bit.

"This was good timing, actually! I'm assuming this belongs to you? I found it in the parlor room a while ago. Since it was the same night as your little.. visit.. with our friend- I assumed that it was your doing." Alastor interrupts any other thoughts that Lucifer might have and raises a.. corset. With silky ribbons for laces.

"It's certainly not your style, but to each their own, I suppose!" The belt hangs off one of his fingers as he speaks, swinging it back and forth playfully. Lucifer reaches forward and takes it with both hands, squeezing and turning it in a tight grip.

"I don't know what twisted game you're playing, you slimy prick." Lucifer hovers off his feet, his wings flapping out and keeping him at a height tall enough for him to pull Alastor up by his collar. They share an intimidating set of snarling, pointed teeth at each other. "But if you're doing anything to hurt her, I swear -" 

Alastor holds up a finger to his mouth and shushes him. Did he really just shush the king of hell? Before Lucifer had a chance to raise a flaming fist at Alastor's infuriating smile, a muffled groan came from inside your room. With a blink, his previously reddened glowing eyes returned to their usual hue. He made no effort to comfortably drop Alastor, forcing him to land on the ground with a thud.

His other demonic features disappeared as he reached for the entrance of your room, already seeing you sit up and rub the sleep from your eyes. But something stopped him. Something ominous. Something.. forbidding. It felt like a barrier that weighed heavy on him just by looking in your general direction.

Lucifer stumbled backward at the overwhelming sensation. Catching his breath, he blinked his eyes to their inverted ruby hue, again. He didn't use this often, but on occasion, there were some evils in the world that even he couldn't comprehend without thorough examination. He stood in awe at what he saw. Your room was fumed with some glowing green haze, it was impossible to see anything inside. And good lord, it smelled awful. Covering his mouth and nose, he looked over at Alastor, who was still recovering from being thrown to the ground.

"What did you do..?" His voice was layered with growls, an inhuman filter that forced flames from his lips as he spoke. Alastor's only response was a casual chuckle, he stood and brushed his coat off.

"It's simply a precaution. Just taking care of my dear friend."

"Aaal- shut the door it's too bright..!" You called out, pulling the sweater over your head with a groan.

"Speaking of - it’s best you keep your distance, your highness. I'd hope you have her best interest in mind." You shout Alastor's name one more time, the sound of your voice making Lucifer's heart drop. Even when it was some bastard's name, he missed hearing your voice. 

"Coming! My love-" With a final sinister grin, Alastor carefully shuts himself inside your room. Doing who knows what. Twisting and turning the returned corset in his hands, he let his head droop to examine the accessory. He recalled how it looked on you, in that pretty little dress, how it hugged your curves. Then the actions that led to you removing it.

With a flustered groan, Lucifer finally gave up. He returned to his quarters without another word. He would've torn Alastor to shreds right then. But so many things told him not to. He was helping Charlie, and he had no idea how he would explain to his daughter why he was torn piece by piece and fed to some sinners in Cannibal Town; a plan he considered in the heat of the moment. He hated to remind himself of another factor; he was close to you, as well. That made things much worse.

"What was all that noise?" You grumbled, sitting up and clawing at your aching head. Letting out a pathetic groan, you fall back against your bed and lift the sweater to cover your still-straining eyes. Pulling the collar to your nose, you took in another intoxicating breath.

"Nothing to worry your pretty little head about, dear. Are you feeling well enough to finally attend that 'lunch date' you've been avoiding?" You sigh in response to his question, shrugging your shoulders.

"Yeah, I haven't seen Rosie in a while. That could be nice.. and shut up, I haven't been avoiding it.. just been busy.." your voice was muffled by the knit over your nose. With a sweet sigh, Alastor hovers over you, lightly tugging your face free.

"I'm so sure. I'll come find you once you're ready." He said it so gently, fiddling with your hair and staring deeply into your eyes. He reveled in the sight of you turning red by his words. You nod your head, watching him fade into the inky shadows in the corner of your room.

You finally started to wake up, yawning, stretching, doing anything to ease your tired mind. You looked through your phone again, still no new messages. That didn't seem to bug you as much as it would've a few days prior. You focused on the fun activities you had planned for the day. Rosie never failed to cheer you up.

You just had to keep going. You couldn't let some silly fling stop you from enjoying your eternal damnation. Or from trying to be redeemed. Alastor's voice was constantly in your head. Any doubts you’d have, you'd recall his words: It was probably for the best.

-

You did your best to move on, but what especially helped you through these trying times? Drinks. You were drinking almost every night at this point. It would be a real problem if you were actually able to die. It wasn't so bad when you had some of the other demons join you, it was easier to keep your mind off of.. certain things when you would hear Angel talking about how shitty his day was and going into painful detail, or when Charlie was going on about some passion project. She somehow manages to talk more after a few drinks.. you didn't realize that was possible. But you still loved her either way. You owed her so much, after everything you've put her through. That's what you were thinking when you weren't drinking at least. All those thoughts went away after a few shots.

A golden drink slid into your hand with a sudden stop, causing some of its contents to spill over your fingers. With a quiet curse, you run your tongue across your knuckles. Clearly not noticing the pair of eyes that have been on you the whole night, you down yet another round of drinks from Husk. It was you, Charlie, and Vaggie just having a little nightcap after you had gone out with Alastor to see Rosie. It was a nice little catch-up, even if it consisted of Charlie droning on about something you didn't have the strength to listen to.

Oh, and not that you would have noticed, but Lucifer sat across the bar from you. He couldn't keep his damn eyes off of you. For some reason, that strange barrier was weaker and he’s finally getting the chance to see you, really see you, for the first time in weeks.

You rest your cheek on the counter, listening to Charlie get into a passionate rant about something that would help the hotel. Every now and then, Lucifer would have to break his eye line from you to nod and smile at whatever Charlie could be going on about. He could care less right now.

"Dad. Dad!" A sudden shaking of his shoulder forced his attention to Charlie. An immediate guilt washed over him, as he clasped his hands together in front of him.

"Were you even listening..? Doesn't matter.. I guess.. but, Alastor’s gonna join us, so can you.. play nice? Pleease? I'd love for you guys to get along.." She whispered in his direction, her questioning finally bringing his attention to a casually seated radio demon who appeared at the barstool just next to yours. He looked back to Charlie, with an agitated expression.

"I-I don't know, sweetie, maybe I should just head back-" Ready to drop everything, he watched Alastor run a hand down your back, you let out a little groan in response. You sat up, stretching your arms upward then turning to Alastor.

You smile exhaustedly, greeting him with a quiet hum. You then attempted to beckon another drink from Husk. As the bartender slid it your direction, a hand came up and quickly stopped the glass before it could reach you. Alastor held the drink upward, just out of your grasp. 

"I'm sure you're having fun, dear, but I believe it's about time you head to bed." Alastor says. He lifts the drink farther away from you, watching you lean forward in a sad attempt to take it back. With a sigh of defeat, you nod, taking hold of his now extended arm to stumble off the barstool without falling flat on your face.

"No, wait!" Lucifer practically shouts, he pushes himself away from the bar, ready to sweep you off your feet. To save you. That dreaded smog had reappeared with Alastor's presence. But assessing the newfound silence in the room, everyone turning to him for some kind of explanation of his actions, he caught Charlie's eyes. They were confused and worried. He quickly clears his throat, straightening his posture.

"Alastor, buddy! You just got here, why don't you stick around and chat or talk about your feelings or something? I can take her to bed no problem!" He says smoothly, nudging Charlie with his elbow at the mention of talking about feelings. That seemed to work. She agreed, clarifying that as long as you got to bed safe then, she'd love to have Alastor stay and chat.

"Ahahah, I do believe she'd be more comfortable with me taking her away. We've become rather close, truly a relationship I cherish!" That also seemed to work. Charlie was a sucker for the idea of Alastor developing any sort of positive relationship.

"Are you sure about that, pal? Maybe she just needs -" Lucifer is determined, he speaks with clenched teeth, struggling to ever consider him a “pal”.

"With all due respect, Your Highness, I doubt she'd want your help. After everything you've done to her." He hissed out his words, willing to say anything to get a rise out of Lucifer. Oh, and that definitely did it. How much could he possibly know? Lucifer had no problem with you confiding in a friend about.. everything.. But him? And for him to have the audacity to mention anything in front of Charlie? Lucifer was ready to put him six more feet under the ground.

"Dad..? Is- uhh.. everything okay? What's Alastor talking about?" Charlie was quiet, almost nervous to ask any questions. Luckily, before she could worry about that, she got distracted by something else. A little tune you were singing. It wasn't a hum like it's been all these years. You slurred out a recognizable song, as Alastor continued to take you up the stairs. A tune that immediately made Charlie go quiet.

"I-I know.. I know that song...Holy shit, Vaggie!" Charlie frantically grabs her partner’s arms and shakes her vigorously, a pent-up excitement forcing a smile from her.

"Ah, it was so long ago, but - she.. kind of raised me, didn't she?" Charlie forgot who she was with for a moment, quickly swiveling her chair to face Lucifer.

"Dad! What was her job? At home, I mean- I can't believe I've never asked that.. what did she do?" Lucifer caved to her questions, Charlie's pure adrenaline shocking him.

"W-Well, I uh.. she was.. " He finally let out a sigh. "You're right, she did raise you. I mean.. for a few years, at least. Then- uhm! That's it! Then she left for some reason." This was no place for big confessions. Everyone had something to drink, and you weren't even sober enough to stand on your own two feet. We'll get to it later.

-

Alastor was near your room, still treating you with as much tender love and care as usual. You continued your familiar tune, giggling and hiccuping as you struggled to walk. He eventually swept you off your feet, causing your flushed face to turn even redder. Finally entering the safety of your room, you were carefully tossed into your bed. Sweet Alastor took the time to conjure up your coat from wherever you had left it, draping it over your shoulders yet again. You held onto it, gripping the sleeves and smoothing the plush material through your fingers, then smiled at Alastor.

“Come here, please.” You said softly, moving over to have him sit at the side of your bed. He did so without a complaint, propping himself up with his hand against your blankets and leaning towards you with his usual smile. “You're always so sweet to me, Al.” You slur your words, placing your hand overtop of his and leaning in with a content hum.

“Anything for you, love. I've enjoyed your company just as much.” His voice didn't hold its usual static filter, allowing you to appreciate his natural tone. You've never heard it before. The idea of him trusting you with this side of him caused an ache in your stomach. You sat up, the sweater hanging loosely off your shoulders as you climbed towards him with a glazed-over look in your eyes.

Alastor had a suspicion that you felt some sort of romantic attraction to him. Even with his charm and wits, he wasn't prepared to feel your lips meeting his. He could taste the drinks you had been downing all night and made the slightest effort to lean away from you. It went unnoticed, as you hummed into the kiss, moving even closer to him to cup his cheeks and keep his attention on you.

You were aching for this sort of attention. And unfortunately, your strength to suppress this underlying feeling for him just wasn't there at that moment. He reached forward, brushing your hair away from your neck and placing his hand on your shoulder. He couldn't let this go on. For several reasons. He shifted his hand from your shoulder to pull your sweater back up, then gently pushed you away. 

“I-I’m sorry..” You were hot to the touch, your heated skin becoming worse just from sheer embarrassment. You leaned back, quickly wiping some tears that had welled in the moment.

“It’s.. alright, dear. No need to be embarrassed. I simply haven’t felt.. that way, in quite a long-” A loud crackle interrupted the awkward moment, coming from the radio on your nightstand, and just quietly from his own lips. The sound had you reeling away, your hands pressed against your ears in shock. His own ears shot back, a twitch in his eye showing his own pained reaction.

“A-Alastor? Are you okay? Did I do something?” You stammered out your concerns, seeing a line of his blackened blood drip from the corner of his mouth. He wiped it free before examining it on his thumb and letting out a scoff. He sighed, keeping his eyes off of you as he left your bed.

“Al, you're bleeding..! Maybe you should lay down, or.. or, I-I don't know-” You scrambled off your bed to follow him, taking a hold of the back of his coat to keep him from leaving. He spun on his heels, placing a hand on your shoulder.

“I'll be just fine. If you want my honesty, I seem to have made a minor error is all.” His voice was laced with static again, he ran his hand up your shoulder to your neck, then delicately kept your head lifted towards him by your jaw.

“W-What do you mean? Will you be okay?” You asked nervously. He seemed to be examining you, his eyes scanning over your entirety.

“I'll be fine. How are you feeling, love?” He sounded nervous, a shock to you.

Alastor did in fact make a mistake. In his attempt to rile Lucifer up just moments ago, he indirectly disclosed some information about your past. Charlie now knew what you were.

The deal was that Charlie wouldn't find out about your previous job and Alastor would do anything in his power to keep that from happening. In exchange, you owed him a favor. He doomed himself, really. The mention of your history with Lucifer and coaxing the lullaby from your drunken rambles, made Charlie connect the dots. With a poorly made deal, no written contacts, or souls on the line, some loopholes can cause the whole thing to fall through. But, Alastor's never had issues before, he's incredibly careful, even with the smallest exchanges.

The idea of him losing any composure and having it cost him, forced labored breaths from him. Now that Charlie knows, your owed favor is no longer valid. Your favor of staying away from the king. But now, that sickening barrier that had been surrounding you all this time was broken.

You didn't realize what it was, but you did feel that something was off. Like a headache that's been ignored for too long suddenly hitting you. You groan, running a hand through your hair and slipping away from Alastor's grasp. And you're not the only one who felt the deal break at that moment.

-

Lucifer could feel the environment in the hotel change. It was like a cool, refreshing breeze hit his face, finally clearing out a pesky scent that had been lingering since the hotel was refurbished. He assumed it was just due to the new renovations.. But after connecting this newfound clarity to the musk that's surrounded Alastor - surrounded you - since the extermination day battle, he was anxious to find you. He quietly muttered your name under his breath with wide eyes. Finally slipping from his seat, he rushed to your room immediately.

“Dad!” Charlie was one step ahead, standing up and blocking Lucifer who wasn't even trying to conceal his eager pursuit. He shrunk in front of her, finally realizing his wings had sprouted from his back and had swept a few bottles off the shelves. “What's going on? You've been acting strange ever since you moved in, and I'm-” Charlie was nervously fiddling with her hands, looking over to Vaggie for a reassuring smile. “-I'm worried. About you. And.. our guest..?” His eyes widened, fear running through his veins.

Charlie was smart. She may have the princess bleeding-heart thing going for her, but seeing you and him get along so well always made her the slightest bit uneasy in the back of her mind. After you started drinking more, going out on the town with Alastor again, and generally seeing Lucifer less, she realized something had happened. And this strange behavior from him wasn't helping your case.

“Charlie, don't worry! We’re friends! And I'm worried about her because of all the drinking and the.. uhh.. Anyway, no need to worry about that! I bet she’s fine now..! But I better head to bed, long night, just uh- really tired, yeeah.” He stammered through his words, throwing in a fake yawn, then leaping with the assistance of his wings to pat the crown of Charlie's head. He started off again, making sure to take his time and not cause another scene.

“Dad, wait!” With a frustrated groan, Charlie is left clutching her face in his hands. With a deep breath, she smooths her hair back and puts on a wry smile to face Vaggie. “I think he loves her, Vaggie.”

-

Spreading his wings as soon as he's out of view, he rushes to your room. It was so much easier to sense where you are now. How could he not notice? It felt like hundreds of memories were flooding back into his mind. Memories of passing you in the hallway while he ignored you, writing texts but never sending them, hearing you talk to him but never responding. He went from constantly longing for your presence, to just.. nothing. But now, it's all back. All the pining had finally erupted And he needed you- to see you- immediately.

“I'm sure you just drank a bit too much tonight, go on and rest and I'll be sure to-” Alastor couldn't even finish his sentence before your door was sprung open. You were sure the force broke your lock with its intensity. 

Alastor panicked. You've never seen him panic before. He attempted to fade into his slimy shadows and slip through the darkest corner of the room, but Lucifer quickly put a stop to it, stomping his heel into the black trail before it could disappear. An ear-piercing screech came from all corners of the room. You gasped at the sight, watching Alastor materialize back to his usual self. He laid on your floor, clutching onto the almost forgotten wound on his chest that had been stressed by Lucifer's heel.

“Al!” You stumble off the bed and onto your knees, hovering your hands over him but not quite touching him, like you were nervous he’d break. You watched blood pool and stain his shirt as he hisses at the reopened slash. “Hey, hey, it's okay..! It's um- you'll be okay..!” Your shaky reassurance did little to ease his pain. If anything, he felt ridiculed. Another embarrassing defeat. You helped him at least sit up and lean his back against your dresser.

“Lucifer, what the fuck! what are you even doing in here?” You scolded, still seated at Alastor's side. You looked up at his demonic figure, your anger suddenly replaced with a suppressed and unwanted attraction. You shake your head of any longing thoughts. “He's hurt. You have to help him.” You say, finally breaking your strained eye contact.

Lucifer is cringing at the sight. You were seated close to Alastor's injured form, an arm around his back and a hand resting on his own, helping to compress the wound. You were wearing his sweater, your eyes brimming with tears at the sudden intrusion. Lucifer hated the way you were looking at Alastor, with concern and genuine worry. Lucifer looked into his hands as if he had blood on them. And if you weren't there, that certainly would've been the case.

With a deep breath, his horns, halo, wings, and tail all subdued, leaving a very disheveled Lucifer avoiding eye contact out of shame. He kneeled down, still slightly disgusted by the smell that lingered around the radio demon. Moving Alastor’s coat aside, he presses his clawed hands against the blood stain. He admittedly put more pressure than he needed to, but if he could cause him even the slightest discomfort right now, that would keep his bloodlust at bay. A golden light glistened from beneath his hand, forcing a hiss from Alastor's forced smile.

“Jeez, this wound is from an angelic attack.. a strong one too. What have you been up to, Bambi?” Lucifer tried his hardest to keep a light tone, but despite his casual words, his unenthused frown was very apparent.

“It was Adam. before you came to the battle, Al got hurt. Bad. I.. we all thought he was dead.” You explained softly. You seemed much more put together than before, the fear from this whole ordeal clearly sobered you up. Your lip quivered and you held in a shaky breath, that was only released when you felt Alastor hold your hand and squeeze it gently.

Was he doing this just to piss Lucifer off? Because it was working. Lucifer did his best to focus on his healing. It took a while to even stop the bleeding, but maybe he was doing that on purpose as well. Admittedly, he could have healed him with a snap of his fingers, even cleared that nasty scar, but he didn't. Alastor didn't deserve that in Lucifer's mind.

After just a few minutes, you were helping Alastor to sit up, and then eventually to his feet.

“Do you need to lay down? You can stay here tonight, I'll find somewhere else to sleep- or I can help you to your room if you need it..” you were shushed by his hand waving any assistance away.

“I'll be alright, love, no need to worry. I am a bit tired, though.. I wouldn't mind resting here for-” A whirring sound interrupts Alastor's words and draws both of your attention to a portal that leads into his room.

“..Right. Very helpful.” Alastor muttered, still using you as a brace as he approached the portal. He didn't need the help, he felt fantastic, actually. But he’s still having his fun, enjoying the pure jealousy coming from Lucifer. He lifts your hand and presses his usual subtle kiss onto your knuckles.

“You sure you'll be okay?” You ask softly, helping him step over the boundaries of the portal. He hums, then gives a quick nod. “And?” You add. He looks at you confused, before noticing your subtle nudging towards Lucifer. Alastor lets out a quiet groan and rolls his eyes. 

“I suppose I owe you a thanks, your highness. Just watch your step in the future.” Alastor says smugly. Having seen more than enough of him tonight, Lucifer shuts the portal without another word. 

The room is silent, but the air is clear. Lucifer breathes in, only catching the faintest musk of the sweater you were wrapping yourself in. It was still a relief. Reality hits him and he finally rushes towards you, his hands placed on your shoulders with a worried expression.

“Are you okay? Good golly, I missed you.. did he do anything to hurt you? How do you feel?” He questioned you frantically, scanning your entire body with his darting eyes, but you reeled away from his touch.

“What do you mean miss? We live under the same roof. You could have talked to me at any time if you just-” You let out a sigh, relieving some of the agitation in your tone. 

“Thanks for helping Al.. And I guess I missed you, too. Wherever you’ve been.” You muster a smile that's more genuine than you were expecting. You didn't have the same ability to sense the deal or the repellent that Alastor had drenched you in all these months. So to you, Lucifer had gone from your closest friend to ignoring you, then suddenly attacking the only other demon who was comforting you. It was all so confusing. And he was about to make it worse.

With a quick motion, Lucifer had you pulled into an embrace. It was tight and comfortable. You could feel his hands flexing and tightening on your back and waist, his breath just grazing the base of your neck. You didn't pull away. Not yet. You would never admit how good this felt, how much you missed his arms around you. Lucifer shifted his position to cradle the back of your head, hastily and thoughtlessly pressing a kiss to your lips. With a surprised yelp, you shove him backward.

“No! This is too much! You can’t just waltz in here and save the day, and expect things to go back to how they were! If this was all just a fling, finishing off the mistake we made years ago, then you should've made that clear from the beginning!” Your voice started cracking with each statement, tears falling as you spoke. “You've done enough, Lucifer. Don't make this harder for me.” You look away, still avoiding his touch when he goes to swipe your tear-stained cheek.

“No! That's not what's happening at all! That prick did something to you, I'm just trying to-” He stops himself midsentence, seeing the startled look on your face from the sudden outburst. He steps away, clutching his hands in front of him. “I'm sorry, I-” 

“No. You have to go, now. Before I change my mind.” You interrupt. He looks at you, slightly red in the face. With a final nod, he snaps a portal to his workshop and leaves your room silently. Falling to your knees, finally alone, your body only responded with quiet sobs. Too much had gone on for you to process the entire evening and you were in pain even attempting to do so. Before curling up in your bed, your radio was turned back on. Playing its usual tunes, you were at least calmed enough to drift to sleep.

-

Looking vacantly at his office, Lucifer sat down at his desk. He brushed his fingers against his lips, the inappropriately timed kiss from earlier suddenly hitting his consciousness. He let out an embarrassed groan into his hands. As he composed himself with a sigh, he noticed something strange. Smacking his lips together he finally recognized a foul taste in his mouth. It was his doing, Alastor’s scent, coming from your lips. The indirect sensation made it clear that Alastor had his hands on you in more ways than Lucifer had considered.

-

Another restless night went by, filled with its usual nightmares. You were woken up with your usual hangover and struggled to get ready for the day. As you dressed up, and went through your usual routine to prepare for the day, your memories of the previous night flooded your mind. You got drunk, then Alastor took you to your room, you kissed him, then Lucifer came and- 

You kissed Alastor.

“Fuck!” You shouted to yourself, letting your head fall onto your vanity at the realization. You have got to stop doing that. The rest of the night came through afterward, Lucifer's sudden appearance and affection causing you even more distress. You swear, one more nuisance and you'll have a breakdown. A knock on your door, followed by it opening a crack, and forcing you to greet your intruder.

“Hey! Morning! Your lock is busted for some reason, buuut we can fix it, don't worry!” a cheerful Charlie enters your room, smiling nervously at you. You muster up your best smile and turn towards her.

“Morning, Charlie. What's got you all worked up today?” You ask casually, running your fingers through your hair, too lazy to thoroughly brush it. You could tell she was nervous, it was obvious to you.

“Well! About that.. I actually wanted to talk to you about.. my dad.” She spoke softly, you did your best to hide your sudden nerves, and nodded. “Right! Well- I can't believe I never realized or even asked where you used to work, but.. I remember you. When I was kid? I remember you were there with me, taking care of me-” She began to explain quickly and nervously, pacing your room. Your mind was racing with a relief that she finally knew, but also a fear of what was coming next. “I don't know, I was so young and it was so long ago, but I felt like we had fun, right? What.. What made you leave..? Did I do something wrong?”

It was so much more complicated than that. How do you explain to her what you've done? The very act that cost you a dream job, that haunts you with nightmares almost every night? She could see your mind swimming for answers, she watched you struggle for longer than she needed to.

“Was it my dad? Did he do something?” She sounded so serious. But clearly she was on the right path with your wide eyed reaction. “I'm so sorry if he did anything to upset you, you know how he can be… What did he-”

“Charlie, no.. You’re right, we all had so much fun together, and.. he was my best friend! And I-I made a mistake and I kissed him, and.. and Lillith saw and-” you finally let the floodgates down, making sure to leave out any reciprocated feelings that Lucifer may have had for you. That was his discussion to have. Charlie was silent. Even though you didn't tell her that things were mutual at some point, things started piecing together. She could tell you two had rekindled some sort of feelings for each other recently. “It's all my fault, Charlie, I never meant to hurt anyone. I loved him. It was a mistake..”

A sudden hand on your shoulder forced your eyes to meet hers. She was smiling. whether that meant she understood you or forgave you, it was one of your favorite sights. It always has been.

-

Lucifer paced around his workshop, figuring out how to keep that deer demon away from you, while also avoiding the conjured images of his lips against yours. Before he could react, he noticed the floor underneath him disappear. Falling directly into a suddenly conjured portal, he looked around, before realizing he was suddenly in the lobby. He was greeted by you and Charlie seated on the couch, a confrontation he’s been afraid of for years. 

“Hi, dad..! I hope you weren’t doing anything important, I just needed to.. Talk to you..” With a snap of her fingers, the portal above his head vanished. She takes Lucifer by the shoulders and plops him down next to you on the couch. Can't have him running off again.

She’s struggling to get past her initial greeting. You take hold of her fidgeting hand and she seems startled at first, but your smile seems to calm her nerves for the moment. With a large inhale, everything that had been troubling Charlie finally erupted.

“I know you two have.. Some kind of history- Well, actually, I know exactly what kind of history- I know that you kissed her when she was my nanny and then she came to the hotel and didn’t tell me who she was! Still not super happy about that-” She interrupts her rambling to point out your mistakes, making you wince. “-Then! All of a sudden you two are friends? Again? Or.. something more, I guess! Then I noticed you haven’t been wearing your ring, you’re hauled up in your workshop all day, and whenever she’s around, you can’t keep your eyes off of her! And.. and that you’re more focused on her than this hotel! Than me!” The silence that followed her words were filled with nothing but her shaky breathing.

You and Lucifer were too stunned to speak. You took the time to examine Lucifer’s shriveling body language, seeing that he had in fact taken his wedding band off at some point. Charlie practiced this whole speech with you, but she seemed to run off the rails near the end there. Her words were harsh, but.. true. A relaxed sigh finally brings your attention back to Charlie.

“Dad, I know things weren’t great between you and Mom, I’m not a little kid anymore.. And… all I want is for you to be happy, but-” Lucifer has her wrapped in a tight hug before she can continue on.

“Charlie.. I am.. So sorry.” He waited for her to wrap her own arms around him, needing the comfort as much as she did. “You’re right. I haven’t had my priorities straight. I told you that i’ll support your dream, no matter what lies in store and I meant that.” He pulled her away, but only to wipe the absurd amount of tears that had fallen from her eyes. “I’m sorry things got so out of control. Think you can forgive me, sweetheart?” Charlie sniffled, with a small nod. They both turn to face you.

"Can you forgive me?" He asked. His eyes were so soft, still glistening with a few tears that had welled during his confrontation with his daughter. You couldn't help but get lost in them. Finally realizing he was waiting for an answer, you opened your mouth to speak, but nothing wanted to come out.

“I.. I don't know." Before either of the Morningstars could react accordingly, a familiar face interrupts the conversation.

“Now, now, don’t corner her! This is quite the dilemma, isn’t it, dear?” As he stands behind the couch reaching forward, you feel Alastor’s hand on your shoulder, yet he seems to be keeping his eyes on Charlie. “Oh, but how touching! What a great example of forgiveness! Quite commendable, Charlie!” Alastor slowly made his way around the couch as he spoke, trailing his talons across your shoulders before he went on to praise Charlie in this off-putting tone. Lucifer had his arms crossed over his chest. Despite his only annoyed demeanor, he was ready to snap at the slightest misstep.

“But- I don’t know if it’s that simple.. Would you really be able to consider redemption with your ties to the king?” Alastor adds. The three of you went silent, considering the possibility. You became nervous at the thought.

“I mean, m-maybe it doesn’t matter, I’ve still been doing all the exercises and-” Why were you trying to reason with him? Lucifer has done nothing but hurt you. He’s only shown you kindness just recently and even then, he had to confuse you with a damned kiss. Your reasoning didn’t last long, though.

“True! You’ve been making excellent progress, darling! You’ve just been an absolute pleasure to have around the hotel. You’re very.. Important to us here.” Alastor dares to lay another hand on you, bringing your pondering mind to his attention with the lightest tug of your chin to face him.

“Uh.. Thank you, I guess…” You respond, his grasp on your face causing your words to muffle. Lucifer was fuming. As soon as Alastor caught sight of his reaction, he tightened his grip for just a moment, before finally releasing your face.

“But! Your successful redemption could give us what we need to get those pesky angels' attention. Wouldn’t you agree?” He acted out a determined facade, now approaching Charlie and wrapping a hand around her shoulder.

“Sure, but..” Charlie nods along with what he’s saying, laughing nervously at the tension that’s accumulated.

“And you! I thought you, of all people, would know what has to be done to get their attention, your highness.” All eyes shot to Lucifer as soon as Alastor spoke out of turn.

“Watch it.” Lucifer growled under his breath, stepping away from the group.

“Haha.. Let’s just relax! Redemption is about saving souls, remember? The important thing is-” Charlie attempts to chime in, sensing that things are about to go very wrong.

“Do you want Charlie to succeed with her dreams? Or are you assuming she’ll simply give up? Like you did?” Alastor approached Lucifer, bending at his hips to meet his eyes and emphasize the insult he had just made.

“That’s it-” With a quick rolling of his sleeves, Lucifer lunged towards the radio demon, taking him down with ease. It's like he wasn't even trying to dodge the attack.. A crash into the nearest surface left a crack trailing up the wall, his hands rung around Alastor’s neck. Using his usual shadow tricks, he phased from underneath him, silking away. Lucifer quickly rose from the ground, his wings now encasing most of the room, he scanned the room for any sight of the shadowy being. 

“What's wrong, your majesty? Worried about your little nanny? Will you miss her once she's redeemed?” His questioning came from all corners of the room, only enraging Lucifer more.

“Shut up!” With a growl, Lucifer surrounded the room in a white light. In that fit of rage, he succeeded in forcing Alastor out of the shadows, but momentarily lost his vision. Blinking and rubbing his eyes, Alastor was fast approaching, his own demonic form growing behind the fallen angel.

You covered your ears at the shouting, only to have your eyes blinded by the light. With all of your senses overwhelmed, and your heart racing, you scramble off the couch to avoid some debris coming your way. All you comprehend is Alastor lifting his arm, ready to essentially slash Lucifer into pieces before the room goes silent. Now only hearing the blood pumping in your ears, you lifted your head up to witness the end of this useless fight.

Charlie had put it all to an end. Her powerful arm had broken through her sleeve, and in its grasp.. something you’ve seen before, out on the streets of Hell. You’ve heard about these sorts of situations, but never witnessed anything like this. A glowing chain was fastened around Alastor’s neck, effectively yanking him away from the fight. The other end was held tightly in Charlie’s demonic fist. The silence was deafening. With Alastor on the ground, essentially leashed by Charlie, you instinctively slid behind Lucifer’s still-powerful appearance. He held his arm out to keep you behind him. Alastor coughed, gripping at the illuminated collar he wore.

“W-Well.. I should’ve known better, I have to admit. Maybe I've lost my touch... But I’m proud of you, Charlie. You’re finally showing some authority around here.” Alastor speaks up. His crumbling voice was weak, his static filter flickering with every other word. But the severity of his tone still sent a shiver down her spine.

“Charlie?” She looked over to her father, more concerned for her than anything. But seeing your face not far behind, seeing your fear, the realization hit her. She let out a weak gasp, her arm returning to normal and the chain fading into nothing but a reminder of a binding contract.

“Charlie.. What did you do?”

♡♡♡

I hope it was worth the wait! ;)

Part 5 is in the works 🙏

!Taglist!

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[leclucklerc]

Check Point MV1 - 01. Product of Glory

Pairings: Max Verstappen x Actress!Reader

Summary: She should've realized that coming back to Formula One after quitting the sport years ago is a bad idea. Especially considering that most of your childhood friends and rivals from your karting days are now in the paddock.

Word Count: 4.2k

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Weekends had always been her favorite part of the week.

Besides the fact that it's a time when there's no school, weekends had always been more special. When she was younger, weekends means that she’s going to watch her dad race. To feel the thrill of Formula One as she cheered for the man on the red car. Weekend means going to a dinner with her parents, still high from her dad win and spending the night laughing and spending time together.

When her dad decided to retire from motorsport, weekends mean another thing.

Weekend means racing.

Though this time it’s not her dad in a red car who race. This time it’s her who’s racing. It’s her who goes on top of kart and race against people her age. It’s her who got cheered on. It’s her, who will bring a smile on her dad face as he saw her with pride clear on his eyes.

Y/n loves weekends.

“Hi,” greeted the girl, smile wide and eyes crinkling. “Good race, huh?”

The blue-eyed boy furrowed his eyebrows at her while the other one, a dark haired one, let out a small smile at that. She could feel the stare that they directed towards the trophy on her hand. No doubt jealous at the number one engraved on it.

It only made her giggle, as she proudly showed it towards the two boys.

The three of them are now huddled in a corner somewhere in the karting track, adrenaline still high from the race earlier and hair still wet from all the sweat under their helmet. They still could hear the hustle and bustle from the crowd that had attended the race this weekend. The distant sound of chatters and karting engine.

It had been a tough race, a race where the three of them shoved each other on the track. Each trying to gain better position from the others. Each, trying to become the winner of the race.

Though, despite all of that, in this small corner, they felt that there’s only the three of them in this world. There is no strict parents, heavy expectations, or uncertain futures. In this little corner, there are only the three of them. The three champions with too much talent and boundless possibilities for their future.

“You’re only saying that cause you beat us,” said the dark haired one in a heavily accented English. Well, to be fair, all of them are speaking in a heavily accented English, considering y/n too mainly talked in French with her parents. "If you had lost you would've been crying right now."

"Psh, I'm not a crybaby like you guys," she laughed it off.

"I'm not a crybaby!"

Said girl grin only widened before she sat in front of the two boys. The trophy still clutched tightly as she adjusted it on her lap, not wanting to break it.

“Sore loser,” teased the girl. “You look like you want to fight me when I passed you in the last lap,” this part was directly directed towards the blue-eyed boy who had been moodily staring at her since the start.

“I did not” muttered the boy, also answering in a heavily accented English. Though, the accent is different from the previous boy and hers. He began leaning back towards the stack of wheels behind them. “I just don’t like losing.”

“Who likes losing?” asked back the dark haired one as he fiddled with his helmet on his hand. “I don’t.”

“No one,” agreed on the girl with a nod of her head. Inside of her head, she could already imagine all of the headlines and news if she ever performed badly in a race. Accusations of her being untalented to the blatant questioning if she’s her father daughter.

She can’t lose.

There is no way she can allow herself to lose.

“If we want to make it to Formula 1, we have to hate losing,” continue the girl as she sat in front of the two boys. "It's all about the mentality y'know?"

“Y/n is right,” said the dark-haired boy, nodding. “Also, my dad is not that happy if I got second place, so I really should win.”

“What Charles said,” said the girl. “Pretty sure my dad will also be disappointed if I don’t win a race.”

The other boy, Max, nodded his head sulkily. He doesn’t need to say how upset his father would be if he ever loses because both y/n and Charles knew that already.

Jos Verstappen, after all, is a terrifying figure.

While of course both Charles’s dad and y/n’s dad would be disappointed if they had a bad race, they would never throw a literal temper tantrum to them. They would console the both of them because they know, no matter how disappointed they are, the one that is the most disappointed is the children themselves. Instead of anger, they would offer them ice cream and advice. They would offer a shoulder to cry to and ears to ramble to. Max dad on the other hand-

(“Why did you lose?” asked Jos Verstappen, tone grave and eyes glaring daggers at the boy in fronf of him. He looks terrifying. Like a giant ready to stomp on those under him.

Max trembled, not daring to stare at the older man. “I-“ he started. “I-“ he desperately tried to get the words out. To force his throat to talk and explain and yet, no matter how much he tried, he just cant. As if, his body is refusing to even defy the man in front of him.

Y/n watched, heart trembling as she hid behind a building near them. Too scared to help and yet, at the same time she desperately wants to help her best friend.

But her feet just won’t move. Rooted on her spot as she silently watches the conftoration unfolds.

Coward.)

He’s terrifying. From the way he would yell at Max or the glare that he would throw to everyone in the room. From his large stature to the way he never looked that happy to see Max hanging out with y/n or Charles.

The three of them had basically grow up together with racing. Y/n doesn’t even remember when was the first time was the three of them had ended up in the same race, all she knows, one way or another, they had been racing against each other for the longest time.

It has always been the three of them on the podium. The three of them against the world. Sometimes y/n wins, sometimes Max wins, sometimes Charles wins. Her father had once said that the three of them is taking turn for the first place.

Before she knew it, she had become close with her two rivals.

(A lot of time, y/n would feel a bit guilty if she won first place. Because she knew what would happen to Max. She knew that his dad doesn’t like to see him in second place.

Though alas, the drug called winning is an addicting one. Moreso when you’re not mature enough to realize the consequences of your actions. Moreso, when you still watched the world through a rose-tinted glass.)

They’re her closest friends. The very first people that she talked to and confide to. It’s them against the world. It’s their dream against everything in the world.

Even though they live in three different countries – Max in the Netherlands, Charles in Monaco, and y/n in France – she felt as if they’re always with each other. Maybe it’s the frequent phone calls or maybe it’s the holidays that their family often arranged together.

No matter what it is, she can always say confidently that both max and Charles is her best friends. 

“Do you think we’re going to make it to formula one?” asked Max after a while, a thoughtful frown tugging his lips down. The silence between the three of them had been a bit unusual, though it’s not an uncomfortable one.

Both Charles and y/n exchanged a glance. “What? Are you doubting yourself?” said y/n, raising her eyebrows.

Max shook his head. “No, I’m doubting the both of you.”

Y/n and Charles hit his arm playfully. 

“Rude,” huffed out y/n. “As if you’re going to enter Formula One before me.”

“You will never enter Formula One if you still have that kind of sloppy overtake- ouch! Stop hitting me!” complained Max as the girl continue to hit his shoulder playfully.

The girl rolled her eyes. “That’s what you get for doubting my skill.”

"I won't be doubting your skill if you can actually kart properly-"

"You're so mean!"

Immediately after that, a laugh rang out. Both y/n and Max turned their head towards Charles who was laughing at them. Oddly, the both of them too started to laugh soon. The previously tense atmosphere from the earlier conversation gone as they enjoyed the moment together.

Truly, they looked like children their age here. Not someone who has a too heavy expectations and fame that’s threatening to consume her. Not someone with uncertain future and the desperation to show the world his talent. Not someone, with a father who doesn’t know to be a dad.

In this moment, the three of them are just children playing around. Something that they hardly did with all of the burdens that they have to bear despite their young age.

After a while, the laughter ceased, and the atmosphere had lightened up considerably. They looked relaxed, as they shared smiles with each other.

“We’re going to formula one, obviously,” said Charles, grinning. “We’re so good at karting!”

The way he said it was full of conviction without a hint of doubt. It made Max and y/n believed in him. As if, the case of them being a formula one driver is not a matter of if, but a when. That it’s only a matter of time before all three of them would drive for the top teams in Formula One.

It made her believe an almost impossible possibility.

Of her, still racing with her friends. Of her, making her dad proud with it. Of her, still sharing the camera with her mother.

A future with endless possibilities that she looked forward to.

“For sure,” grinned y/n. “We’ll make it to Formula one and we’ll race in Monaco!”

“Yeah!”

Though, back then, the three of them doesn’t know that yes. That dream will only stay as a simple childish dream.

Y/n l/n is many things.

She’s one of the most famous celebrities in Hollywood, the highest paid actress for the last few years. She has won Oscars, many times. Emmys, also many times, and other acting awards that could possibly exist in the planet. She's a fashion icon, an ambassador of many fashion houses and jewelries. She's a charming woman, someone that can get everybody's attention by just entering the room.

Y/n l/n is the talk of the town now.

Well, it’s not like that she’s not the talk of the town before. As one of most recognizable celebrity on earth, it’s normal for people to gossips and talked about her. Every now and then, her name would sit at the top of the trending topic. So, being the talk of the town is not something new to her. Now though, the reason why she’s even mentioned so much lately is the now viral video of her in her Jimmy Kimmel interview.

Y/N L/N ALMOST BECOMES A FORMULA ONE DRIVER? 

2,5 million views. Posted 1d ago.

She whistled at the number.

“It really is a good promotion,” said Andrew, her manager as he scrolled past his iPad. “We can cut the marketing budget for Product of Glory a bit,” he continued., sounding a bit pleased at that. “The producer is really thankful for that.”

The two of them is sitting on y/n’s living room, monitoring the public response from her appearance in Jimmy Kimmel. Besides Andrew, she could also see her private assistant walking around the house, no doubt doing an errand that she had asked beforehand. Though besides that, the mansion is quiet.

“Pay me more then,” laughed the female as she looked up from her phone. “I revealed my dark past for everyone to enjoy after all.”

“Well, I thank you for revealing your dark past or whatever," muttered the male, not even looking up from his iPad. "It will bring a lot of buzz to the movie considering well-“

“Considering it’s a movie about my parents?” asked y/n, raising her eyebrow.

“Well yeah,” agreed the man. "And it's also about Formula One, so it's related."

In hindsight, y/n really do think that there is no way her newest movie – Product of Glory – will be a failure. After all, it’s a high budgeted movie with star studded cast and an experienced director. The reason why she’s even taking the role was because it has an amazing script, something that will bring some kind of Oscar buzz surely.

Besides that, the movie is about Formula One. Mainly, the love story between a Formula One legend and Hollywood icon back in the 80’s and 90’s. The turbulence romance between a high-profile athlete and a high-profile actress. Both were at the top of their respective fields, making their relationship basically the power couple of the entertainment and the sport industry.

Before David and Victoria Beckham were even a thing, Reynold and Nicole l/n were the couple. The wet dream of every tabloid back in the day. With that kind of history, it has enough noise to make people anticipates the movie.

And then, the main actress of the movie and the daughter of Nicole l/n went into the Jimmy Kimmel show and shocked the world. 

It didn’t take a lot of time for people to verify that information and confirm that yes, y/n l/n is telling the truth and yes, y/n l/n got a really successful karting career back then. So successful that she was part of the Ferrari driver’s academy back in the day. So successful that she actually raced with so many famous names. Names that is now currently racing at the pinnacle of motorsport.

Without her now viral clip, many had put high expectation for the movie. Now, after revealing her almost career choice, people practically salivate at the thought of watching the movie.

“Is this good for my image?” she asked, finger thumbing around the video and yet she didn’t click on it. Should she watch it?

Truthfully, revealing her karting past is not something that she had planned before. The Jimmy Fallon team didn't even told her that it's a topic that they will brought up during the interview. Imagine her shock when said host brought out a photo from her karting days.

Memories of that time had resurfaced almost immediately. Things that she wants to bury and forget.

It had made her nervous, heels clicking on the carpeted floor as she tried to think on what she should do. Her exit from the world of motorsport had been really abrupt after all. There are so many things left unsaid, so many things that she should've brought closure to.

And yet she didn't.

So she had retell the tale of her karting journey. Of how she had decided that acting is more of her thing compared to racing. That in the end, her heart lies on playing a character in front of a camera. Like a mindless puppet.

“An amazing one,” said Andrew. “People really like the contrast of being an actress and a racing driver,” continue the man. “And Formula One is really popular right now, almost rivaling soccer, so it’s a huge boost for your image.”

“My dad will love it,” said y/n, letting out a dry chuckle. “I swear he’s a bit bitter when I chose acting years ago.”

Andrew raised an eyebrow. “The great Reynold l/n being bitter? Hard to imagine,” said the man. “He always seems friendly and easygoing.”

“It’s cause you know him after he retired from his racing career,” answered the female. “Mom likes to say that dad used to be a huge asshole when he was still active. Well, an asshole that she really likes so she just thought it was hot.”

The male let out laugh at that, amused. “Anyway, because of the interview, people are expecting you to be in the Miami GP this year,” he said. “A lot of people had thought that you were attending last year.”

“I was filming in Switzerland,” answered the female in order to defend herself. Truthfully, it’s not a good defense, considering the filming is not something mandatory. Y/n was just searching for a reason to skip Miami GP last year. She knows it and Andrew too knows it.

“Right,” said Andrew, not sounding convinced the slightest. “Mercedes and Red Bull had actually asked you to join them as a guest,” he continue as he showed her an email that he had received from both teams. “They seem pretty enthusiastic about that.”

Mercedes and Red Bull.

Bad idea.

Y/n sighed, “I’m attending with my dad, so it’s obvious that I’m going to go to the Ferrari garage.” Well, it’s not like Ferrari is a better option. But at least she will have a shield there, namely her dad.

Andrew hummed. “Well, I just thought that you maybe want to avoid both Red Bull and Ferrari garage.”

And isn’t that another can of worms that she has to open?

Tapping her feet – a nervous tick of hers – she let her mind wander to all the possibilities that she could encounter during the Grand Prix. She knows that attending a race is a bad idea. A really bad one considering she knows almost everyone on the grid. 

It’s a bad idea and y/n knows it.

She really really knows it.

An image of a blond- and dark-haired boy appeared inside of her head. Of them racing together, of them spending their holidays together. Of them, laughing and enjoying each other company.

“Ugh,” groaned the female. “I don’t fucking know, okay?”

“Well, you better think about it,” said Andrew, closing his iPad as he stared at her. “Because the Miami GP is happening soon, and I really need to confirm your attendance to the teams.”

Y/n gave him a thumbs up, mulling about her decision.

Maybe y/n had regretted her decision to choose acting over racing, once upon a time. 

But that was during a hard time of her life, during the weird period where she’s oftentimes considered too old for a child role but too young for an adult role. It was during the time where the phrase nepo-baby were stuck into her like a parasite, sucking her life force more and more as she continues to live in the hustle and bustle of Los Angeles with rows and rows of failed auditions behind her. 

Her mother had told her once that you will be happy if you excel at your job. That you will find happiness only when you managed to find success at the thing that you do.

She agrees on that, considering that she had never looked back on racing the moment she won her first Oscar as a lead actress at the tender age of 18.

Now, seven years after that, y/n never even thought about formula one besides when she’s watching the race with her father.

“So close-!” Exclaimed her father as he leaned forward, eyes trained towards the heated race between Max Verstappen and Charles Leclerc. “Ah, he really needs to brake here or-!”

Y/n almost winced as she watched how the Red bull and Ferrari almost crashed with each other. 

“Dad,” she called out, reaching towards the older man who will certainly fall from the sofa with how he leaned forward. “Relax dad, you’ll fall at this rate,” said the female as she tugged the man back.

Her dad let out a huff. “Seriously!” he let out. “Ferrari really need to get the world champion this year! Charles is leading the driver championship but they’re only at the second place in the constructor and Mattia really need to get their shittogether at this point!”

“I know, I know,” she said. “You can tell Mattia directly during the Miami GP, no?”

“Obviously I will.”

The female let out an amused snort at that.

Formula One had been going into a new direction as of late, something that her father had been really excited about. Last year, during the 2021 season, Max Verstappen managed to place first in the World’s Driver Championship. Ending Lewis Hamilton seven consecutive title. While Mercedes managed to still win the Constructor Championship, y/n really can’t help but thought that this was the beginning of a new era in the sport. 

When last year Miami GP had come around, her father had practically jumped around in excitement. Y/n gets it though, after moving to LA after his retirement in order to fully support his wife career and help raising y/n, the man had never really had many chances to go back to his racing roots.

That’s why every time a new Formula One season came around; her father would always make sure that he’ll watch almost every race.

The current grid of Formula One is a bit different, in her humble opinion. After all, there is so much young and talented drivers racing right now.

From Red Bull’s newest golden boy to Ferrari’s ‘Il Predestinato’.

Her father had thought that the nickname was fitting for the Monegasque, had praised Ferrari’s decision to put him in the team with Sebastian Vettel back in 2019. He had praised when Max debuted in Toro Rosso back in 2015, just one year after his admittance to Red Bull Junior Program and y/n’s retirement from the world of racing.

He had praised them more considering that both had also been her childhood best friends.

Had been.

“Max and Charles were asking for you,” said the man as they watched Charles’s red Ferrari won the Australian Grand Prix. Y/n really can’t help the proud feeling that’s settling inside of her chest. Something similar to what she had felt almost one year ago as she watched the race in Abu Dhabi. “Back in Bahrain.”

“Well,” started the female. “It’s not like I never talked to them anymore.”

“Max said you replied to his messages once a week,” continue the man. “And you always refused their holiday invitations every off season or summer break.”

“Well,” started the female again, readying to defend herself. “I just think it’s a bit awkward, I don’t even know their friends.”

“How about that time when they visited me here? Why did you leave as soon as they arrived?” proved her father further, referring to last year when both Max and Charles had visited him just before Miami GP.

“Back then I was-“ Though, she came short. “Uh- I really don’t have anything to say about that.”

She remembered all the countless invitations and messages that was left on read. All of the missed calls, or even the dry group chat that they had between the three of them.

It’s a bit painful to look at. To see what their relationship had become. To see, the relationship crumbled and destroyed under her hand.

Because that’s the truth, isn’t it? She really doesn’t have any reason to ignore her childhood friends one-sidedly for years.

Her father stared at her. “You know, it’s not fair to you, and to the both of them,” continue the man as he turned his attention back on the television. “I think the last time you met either of them was back in 2018, when Charles was about to debut in Formula One.”

She really doesn’t have any excuse for that.

After all, the three of them had been inseparable since their karting days. With how often they had raced against each other, it’s only normal for them to eventually bond and make friends with each other. Charles or Max had once said that there’s no way both would even be friends if there’s no y/n to be the middleman amidst their fierce rivalry.

They had spent summers and holidays together, their parents knew each other, they had supported each other racing career.

Regarding their fallout, y/n likes to think that it’s only normal for childhood friends to not become friends with each other over the years. That it’s normal for them to find better friends or better environments compared to their restricted childhood.

Though, y/n is also painfully aware that their fallout was not because of that.

They’re still each other closest confidants. They’re still each other biggest supporters. They’re still each other best friends.

The reason why they became like this, was because, y/n decided to back away.

Maybe it was regret or maybe it was the guilt that’s eating her away. Maybe it’s because what happened back in 2014 in Monaco or maybe it’s because what happened in the 2015 Australian Grand Prix. There are a lot of things that she must unpack regarding her past in Formula One and instead to do all of that, she decided to run away.

A bit embarrassing, but that’s what she did best. Always running away. Always, avoiding her problems one way or another.

Max used to call her out about that. This ugly habit of hers that absolutely refuses conflict and choose the easiest way out. 

“Are you going to attend this year GP?” asked her father after a few minutes of silence. “I know you had mentioned that you’re going to attend it, but are you sure?”

“I want to talk to you about that actually,” said the girl. “Because well, I know you will watch from Ferrari and I actually got invited to both Mercedes and Red Bull, but like you know how I will always try to avoid Ferrari and Red Bull-“

“Breath, darling,” said her dad, stopping her rant. “Breath.”

She took a deep breath. “I know,” said the woman. “I was panicking. A bit.”

Her father hummed at that; amusement clear on his face. “Well, I must say, that I’m glad that the time finally came.”

“What time?”

“For you to talk to Max and Charles again,” replied the older man. “I’m a bit tired to become the messenger bird for the three of you again.”

“Funny,” she lets out. “It’s going to be so awkward when it’s been years since is stared avoiding them.”

“Completely your fault.”

“I know.”

Silence fell between the two of them. On the television, the post-race interview began playing. Charles’s face appeared first as he began narrating today’s race and singing praises to the car this weekend.

“Do you think we can be friends again?” asked y/n finally in a small voice.

His dad turned towards her. “Darling, I don’t think the three of you ever stopped being friends.”

It’s the 2022 Miami Grand Prix.

It’s the 2022 Miami Grand Prix and y/n l/n is staring at Max Verstappen who also seemed shocked at her presence.

“Uh-“ she started. “Hi?”

taglist!

@mynameisangeloflife @dl-yum @hockeyboysarehot @stopeatread @cha-hot @ironmaiden1313 @unlikelythingbasement @sofs16

[koolades-world]

Your Umbrella (solomon x reader)

It'd been a long day. The rain poured down like the heavens weeping. He had forgotten to bring his umbrella from home. Resolved to the only good part of his day being getting to get to bed, he set off to Purgatory Hall through the onslaught of rain.

As he walked, he contemplated his life, staring down at the sidewalk. Simeon and Luke had headed back at the end of the school day, but he had to stay behind to help out with setting up for tomorrow's lesson in potions since he'd agreed to help since he knew a thing or two. At the time, he was all for it, but now that he was actually there, he couldn't be dreading it more. The last thing he wanted was to help teach a lesson.

Maybe his social battery was just finally drained, after all these years. Maybe RAD had finally been the thing to wear him down. Or, maybe he just needed to power through it. He had no clue what he needed. But, he had to figure it out, or it he wouldn't find the answer he was searching for. That's that way it'd always been.

Despite always seeming chipper, he wasn't sure how much of that he had left in him. He'd honestly lost track of how old he was at this point. He vaguely remembered his birthday, but for a while, it stopped mattering to him because despite the passage of time, his physical body showed no signs of aging. Most of the demons around him knew this, and it felt like common knowledge. But something none of them had considered was the state of his psyche. The human brain wasn't meant to function for an indefinite amount of time like his. He wasn't sure what it felt like to be normal anymore. Was he even human anymore? Even if he was, he wasn't sure he really enjoyed it anymore. Anything that was joyful about being human he felt like he lost long ago.

Being surrounded by demons who were hundreds of thousands of years older than him was troubling at times like this. Sure he was young by comparison, but that thought didn’t comfort him. He should've died a long time ago. Yet he was still here, and it felt as if he was rotting away from the inside out. They didn't stop to consider the toll of spending so much time with them was taking on. And, it wasn't even like it was anything they did on purpose. He wasn't trying to discredit their efforts of course, but they just didn't know what it was like to be human. If he didn't understand himself, how could they?

At this point, it just felt like he was dragging himself through the days. He honestly wasn't sure how he'd made it this far, or how he'd done this in the past. He felt like a dead man walking. He felt like he was wasting away.

But that's when he met you.

Mc made him feel young again, like he finally had a place to belong. Someone that kind of understood him and the struggles of being human. He didn't know what he'd do without you. You breathed the life back into his daily routine, by doing all sorts of little things you probably didn't even think twice about. You actually understood his struggles, and he felt as if turning to you was embracing the sun's rays. He smiled to himself as he continued to shuffle through the rain. He found himself thinking of you more and more as of late. You were nothing but the sparkle of joy in his day.

Behind him, he heard someone splashing through puddles through the din of rain. As he turned around, with the echo of the smile still on his face, he saw the very person he was thinking about. You had a cute pink umbrella in hand that was proabaly a gift from Asmo, blocking the rain from directly hitting you. However, you were still pretty soaked and water was practically dripping from your RAD uniform.

"Ah! You caught me. I was hoping I could sneak up on you and jump on your back." You walked over to him and immediately pulled him under your umbrella.

"You're so interesting." Solomon found himself laughing a little at your antics.

"What're you doing out here all by yourself? I went looking for you and was told you left in this awful weather." You immediately reached up and brushed his bangs out of his face so you could see his eyes. He reeled for a second, his heart thumping, before remembering he had to respond.

"Oh, I just wanted to get back to Purgatory Hall. Simeon took my bag home with him when he left at normal dismissal, and the rain didn't seem too bad when I left. Clearly, I was wrong." He tried to smile and brush it off, but you saw through him.

"Are you upset again? You don't have to tell me why, but let me just be with you and try to cheer you up, if you'll let me." The smile faded from your face a little, and he saw the concern shine through.

He didn't have it in him to speak, so he just nodded. You grabbed one of his hands with one of yours unoccupied with the umbrella. The way you quickly pulled him close and covered him with your umbrella felt oddly fitting to him. You were quick to grow close to him, for whatever reason, and he felt as if when he was around you, it was alright to feel how he was feeling. "Let's go do something crazy! We're both already wet, so what'd you say to dancing in the rain somewhere, then heading to Purgatory Hall to enjoy a movie together? Your favorite, of course. We might get sick, and while magic could solve that, that just means we could take a few sick days together." You leant into his side, placing your chin on his shoulder.

"I'm following you, Mc." He felt himself begin to smile again. He couldn't lie about how enamored he was with you. He couldn't say no to you. You made him happier, like he didn't just have to let the days bleed together. Not everything was going to go his way, but that's alright. At least he knew you'd be by his side.

Maybe being human wasn't so bad after all.

[oracle-of-dream]

Love 119

Summary: Your best friend Anton has been working on a song project and is dying to share it with you!

Warnings: Male POV, SFW, Kissing, Fluff

Wordcount: 2.1k

It was early, like really, when you woke up. The sun wasn't even up yet, but your desk vibrated rhythmically. It was the third time it had done this. You were okay ignoring it at first, but it didn't seem like it would stop. You looked over at your phone on the desk, lighting up as it shook.

You sighed, rolled out of bed, and answered the phone, "Hello?"

"Y/n! Thank god you answered!" You heard Anton's voice and immediately hung up.

A few seconds later, he called again. "Don't hang up on me!"

"Don't call me at four in the morning! You have ten seconds before I hang up and block you," You yelled into the phone.

"You remember that song I've been working on? I think the song is ready!"

"So?"

"So!? So, you've gotta hear it!"

You rubbed your eyes," Why can't you just post it or send it, and I'll listen to it in the morning?"

"No way, you've gotta come here and listen to it in person. I want to see your face for an honest reaction."

"The trains aren't even running this early..."

"You can drive!"

"Nope."

"Uber?"

"No."

"Bike?"

"You must want me to hang up–"

"Please don't..."

"This will wait until the morning. I promise. I'll come see you first thing in the morning," You started walking back to your bed.

Anton seemed hesitant but sighed, "Okay, but I mean it. First thing! It's super important."

"Yeah, yeah, goodnight," You hung up the phone as you flopped back into bed. You drifted off to sleep, your phone still in hand.

In the daylight, you started getting dressed. A beanie and coat for the cold weather, headphones for the train, and a snack. For your tummy.

You were surprised Anton wasn't blowing up your phone like usual. Almost every morning, Anton would blow your phone up as he waited for you to meet him to go to school together. Since it was a weekend– Anton usually worked on music during the day but must've stayed up all night working on his song. He'd mentioned a project ages ago about a song, but that didn't tell you much about it. He was getting super in the dumps recently, almost depressed. Staying in, skipping class, and not hanging out with you as much. He wasn't usually so secretive and distant, so the song must've meant something special to him. 

The train was cold but less crowded than usual– you could sit today. The ride to Anton's house took about 45 minutes. You set an alarm on your phone for 43 minutes, put on your headphones, and close your eyes. You couldn't help but wonder what the song was about.

A ballad? But Anton liked hip-hop styles, especially from his time traveling, so maybe that. About what thought?

Most hip-hop was about sex, drugs, or money. Anything else has some deep meaning hidden in the lyrics. Anton was the kind of guy to think of deep lyrics like that, so that makes sense for him to go for that. But what kind of message would he aim for?

You wracked your brain the whole time, not sleeping like planned. 

The train stopped at its fourth stop, and you got off. The platform was almost empty in the cold morning. You could see your breath as you texted Anton.

YN: Did you not come to get me?

YN: Hello? 

YN: No way you're still sleeping! After you woke me up so early!?

You started calling him as you walked away from the train platform, headed to his house. Anton had the nerve to wake you up in the middle of the night and demand you see him but not get you from the train station in the morning. He always came to meet you. You started getting nervous. You should've driven over when he called. Why could he not be answering?

You called him several times, but there was no answer, no text.

The nerves in your feet stung as you walked– more like fast-walked to Anton's house. 

He had to be okay, right? He said he was fine seeing you in the morning– there's no way he'd be upset at you for this. Did the song matter that much?

Before you realized it, you were running toward his place. Your coat was open, and your beanie was in your hand. The cold bit at your ears and messed with your hair, and your eyes were dry, but tears were still at the edge of your eyes.

Anton had to be okay.

Finally, you reached his home. You knew the passcode to his door, so you opened it yourself. The house was warm inside, with light spilling in from the windows. It was quiet and still. Anton's house slippers were by the door.

Did he leave home? Where the hell could he go!?

You turned and ran back out the door, phone to your ear, as you called him again.

Fuck! No response.

You turned down the street and moved toward the cafe. Anton loved going there when he needed to get out of his room. You thought about the hours you'd spent there with him.

I should've been there for him.

Inside the cafe, it was quietly playing R&B. It was one of the songs Anton had shown you, Snooze by SZA.

The owner noticed you come in and the expression on your face, "Y/n? Something wrong?" 

"I'm looking for Anton. He's not at home," You approached the counter.

"He stopped by here earlier for coffee. He’d been by a lot recently for double espressos. It doesn't look like he'd been sleeping recently, with the amount of dark circles he had."

Your eyes widened, "Do you know where he headed?"

"No, he mentioned something about the music shop," The owner nodded.

"I'll keep looking!" You ran out the door. Your legs were tired, and your lungs were working overtime, but you just had a feeling Anton needed you.

Where did you go, Anton?

You walked around town, lost and in a daze. You checked all of Anton’s favorite spots, and each place gave an idea that he was somewhere else. You barely missed him every time.

At the convenience store, the owner said, "He mentioned he'd left something at school. Maybe he's taking the train to go there. It should be around real soon."

Your chest heaved, and it hurt to breathe, but you kept running. The train was your best bet since it was on a schedule. When you reached the platform, a train was already waiting.

You ran onboard, looking around, just as you looked out the window.

Standing on the platform in a black coat, Anton looked around as people got off the train. His stupid brown hair blew in his face.

You jumped out of your seat and slipped between the doors as they were closing. One of the train officials yelled out to you, but you ignored them as you ran to Anton.

Anton turned to see you with an awkward smile—a cup of coffee in his hands.

You almost tackled him with how hard you slammed into him. "Jesus, you idiot, don't worry me like that," You hugged him.

"I-I worried you?"

"Yeah! Do you ever check your phone!?"

Anton checked his pockets, "I– where's my phone!?" He patted his pockets before realizing he didn't have it, "I'm so sorry, y/n."

"Whatever!" You pushed past him, storming toward his house.

Anton hurried after you, "Please don't be mad."

"It's too late! I ran all around the area looking for you! This song better be worth it!"

"It is. I know you'll like it," Anton smiled awkwardly at you.

"I don't know. Maybe I'll hate it, and you've wasted all your time."

"Don't say that! You haven't heard it."

"I hate it already– my ears hurt just thinking about it."

Anton suddenly got quiet. He was usually fine when you jabbed at him, but his silence spoke volumes.

"Hey– I'm kidding. I don't hate it. I was just worried, okay?"

Anton nodded softly, focusing on his coffee as you walked the rest of the way silently.

Anton led the way into the house, "can you wait downstairs for a second?"

"Is your room messy?" You raised an eyebrow, "I've seen it messy."

"Please," Anton said with a hard-to-read expression.

Your jaw locked up at his serious tone. You nodded, "Yeah, I'll stay put."

Anton went upstairs to his room, leaving you downstairs with your thoughts.

Is he the one who's mad here? I should be the mad one, not him!

Anton came downstairs, missing his coat, which revealed a white turtleneck, "Come on, it's ready."

You slipped off your coat and followed him slowly up the stairs. The mood was tense, but you couldn't get why. 

Right before entering his room, Anton stopped you. "Put this on," He presented a blindfold.

"Really?"

"Trust me, please."

You decided not to argue and let him tie it around your head. He took you by the hand and led you into the room. He sat you down on the bed, and you could hear him moving some things around the room. There was a faint smell of smoke.

"What's going on, Anton?"

Anton touched your hand, "I made this song to show my feelings. I want you to listen to it fully. I named it, Love 119."

He played the song. It wasn't exactly what you expected from a love song, but the lyrics were deep. You could tell her put in a lot of effort, and he must've had his friends help him with the vocals.

In the end, Anton let go of you and moved, "Take off your blindfold."

You slipped it off to see Anton kneeling with a cake with candles. His face was pinkish as he looked up at you, "Y/n, will you be my boyfriend?"

The words echoed in the room just once. Time froze. You were looking into his eyes as he nervously smiled at you.

He'd prepared the song for you. All those sleepless nights, missing school, the distance. All to find a way to make this song for you without you finding out.

Tears ran down your face, "Is this where you went?"

Anton nodded, "I asked everyone for help to keep you busy so I could set up."

You took a better look around the room. There were records wrapped with bows, a mug with your name on it– with coffee in it, and decorations all over.

"This is all for me?" 

Anton nodded, "You're the most special person in the world to me, and I want to spend it with you. Together. If you want that..." He put the cake up to you.

You leaned down and blew out the candles, "I will be your boyfriend!"

Anton set down the cake and pulled a small box out of his pocket.

"Are you about to propose at the same time?" You joked.

But Anton opened the box, presenting two silver rings.

You jumped to your feet, "Anton! I– We– Marriage!?"

He stood up, "No, no! It's just a promise ring!" 

You smiled, "Why in the world would we need those?"

"To show you I'm serious about you? My Dad said that's what he and my mom had."

You sighed, laughing more, "You're ridiculous. Give me a ring."

"But, I want to put it on you."

"It's for me to put yours on your finger, silly. There's two rings, aren't there?"

Anton handed you one of the rings as he took the other one. You presented a hand to each other and slipped on the rings.

Anton held your hand, admiring the ring on you, "And now, you're mine."

"And you're mine," You giggled, leaning close to him.

Anton looked briefly at your lips, thinking for a moment before getting anxious. "W-We should have cake!" He moved to grab a slice.

"Anton?"

He turned to see you closer than before, making him lean away from you, "Y-Yes?"

"Most couples start with a kiss, right?"

"A kiss!?" Anton's eyes were wide, but he was too nervous to take the first step.

You leaned into him, making him back up until he fell back-first onto the bed. You leaped onto him, pinning him there, "I've got you."

Anton closed his eyes, "I-I wanted to be the one to kiss you."

Your boyfriend was adorable, even when being childish. You rolled over, pulling him on top of you, pinned under his weight, "Then kiss me."

Anton nervously licked his lips before gently bringing them down to yours. The kiss was warm and soft, tasting faintly of coffee. Anton pressed his lips into yours passionately as his hands locked with yours.

Anton’s lips were red, and he blushed more, "I hope I'm not too bad at this. You're my first kiss."

"It's fine, now we can eat cake," You pecked his lips as he slid off you. You enjoyed the day together, eating cake and listening to his song.

[quietzap]

how do you navigate your feelings towards ziam and cheryl/bear/kate/maya on top of this immense grief? i don't mean to be insensitive but i haven't found an answer for myself yet, i can't believe we'll never get answers now

(To anyone seeing this, read until the end before saying anything thank you.) Well. I'm gonna ramble a bit but bear with me. Spotify played Let Me and Common on shuffle the other day and I cried a bit. It's unfair. It should've never ended this way. But I had already accepted ages ago that we might never know the truth. I still have my beliefs. That Zayn and Liam were together. Maybe they had broken up who knows but if they did then I still truly believe their bond was a once-in-a-lifetime thing. I've gone through so many emotions this past week. But seeing the posts of cheryl etcetc or people mentioning bear (Zayn was the only one who didn't fwiw), it didn't make me feel anything. Maybe bc I had already accepted we couldn't do anything about the stunts, and/or maybe bc it's still difficult for me to accept he's really gone or bc it doesn't matter to me at this moment. Or bc I haven't actually sat down to think about what it means that he's gone. I've just been thinking of the pain all of Liam's loved ones are in right now and will be in for the foreseeable future. And I include Zayn in this. I also don't really want to think about it bc I think I might get angry. We've all seen Liam's video on snapchat from last month, where he said he was stunting and forced to do things he didn't want to do and to send help. I often used to say that I didn't understand why the boys accepted this situation instead of just getting out, consequences be damned. Ofc it's easier said than done. But I thought maybe they thought it was worth it in some way. But then, Louis got out. Zayn got out. (In some way, I mean they have privacy and a real career, like Niall and Harry). I guess I will never understand why Liam was still the only one so stuck in this shitty situation. Why couldn't he live his life in peace like Zayn and only appear when he released music? Why couldn't he find a better team or why did he even accept to go along for so long? Why did people let him? Why?! That's what I want to know. Fucking why. And I want Liam's image/reputation to be redeemed. Anyway I digressed I'm sorry.

I just sincerely hope Zayn will be ok. Jaymi who was in Union J lost his soon-to-be-husband a couple months ago (Olly was buried the day they were supposed to get married last month). They'd been together for 14 years. And Olly died in similar circumstances (a fall from the 3rd floor of a hotel). And as incredibly awful as this is, knowing that other people are going through similar grief helps a bit, and I hope it will help Zayn and Liam's loved ones know they're not alone.

Idek if I've answered your question. I guess basically the stunts don't cross my mind coz it's not important to me. These past few years when Liam was alive it wasn't important (tho I hated it) bc I accepted the boys made their own choices. And now it's not important bc it won't bring Liam back and bc his loved ones matter more to me. Now, if I'm actually wrong about my beliefs then it is what it is and I feel for his exes/gf/child, and if the maya thing is true I still think addiction made him act that way and that if he'd got a chance to really get better this wouldn't have happened again. If I'm not wrong tho, I truly feel for Zayn who doesn't get to grieve the way he deserves to. Tho I'm glad he has loved ones who know the truth and who can support him the right way.

I hope this helps. Feel free to tell me if you want to discuss this further or anything ❤️

(Link to the videos of Liam from snapchat: x)

[starandcloud]

Birthday Cake

I'm feeling angsty right now, so have this lmao-

CW: Loss of mother, Bruce calling reader sweetheart as an affectionate fatherly nickname

TW: Reader almost has a panic attack

DC Mainlist

Mainlist

You understood fully what it was like to lose a mother, and you remembered the agonizing months after losing her. How you'd cry until your throat hurt and how your eyes would burn the morning after, you'd remember how the survivors guilt would eat you alive for years. Every now and then you still get the feeling that it was your fault. That you could've prevented her death, despite being five and your mother having a stroke. You felt like you couldn't done something to save her. But now, at the ripe age of sixteen, you realized you couldn't have. You couldn't save her, and you were fine with that. You were fine with knowing you couldn't have prevented that, and you thought you had gotten over it. Even when your father killed himself and you were put into foster care before being adopted by Bruce, you were okay with it. You knew you couldn't have stopped either death, you were a kid. What could you have possibly done? You were damn certain you were over it all, that it was just something that happened at this point. It was over a decade ago, so why would it still bother you? You answer came in the form of a small boy, only eleven, who looked so... broken down, yet angry. He looked so angry, and you knew the look all too well. When your father called you down, you thought dinner was just early. Nothing could've prepared you for this, for the guilt of your parents to rise up your spine and make you physically sick. Your eyes stayed locked on the boy as he looked up at you with eyes that should've belonged to a fully grown adult. An adult who had a job, who had kids and a home. Not an eleven-year-old child. You could feel the bile rise up your throat and you crossed your arms over your stomach, as if to hold your lunch down as you and the boy stared at each other. As if having a silent, yet mutual, understanding of what had happened to him. What he had lost.

"This is Jason, be gentle with him sweetheart. He's a similar case to you..." Your father whispered to you as he gently put a hand on your back and suddenly your sweater felt like fire and your pants were squeezing your body to tight and your feet were both on fire yet freezing as you nodded slowly. Feeling sick to your stomach yet you slowly walked forward and put your hand on his shoulder. "Come on little one," you urged, "lets get you into a room alright? Get your bed set up how you'd like and then we'll have dinner alright..?"

You softly asked as you led him towards the stairs, one hand on his back and the other holding his hand. Which he had taken it upon himself to take, gripping it in a bone crushing grasp as he silently followed you. Even through his worn-out clothes, you could feel how tense he was as you led him towards the room across from yours. You could see how his other hand gripped something in his pocket and his eyes, as emotionally worn down and sad as they were, kept looking up at you. As if he was expecting you to do something to harm him, which only made the guilt in your stomach bubble again and you gripped his hand a bit tighter. As soon as you opened the door you gently let him go and turned on the light, smiling gently as the light flooded the room. Revealing a very basic bedroom. Just a bed, nightstand, and dresser. But it was also a guest room, so there obviously wasn't going to be much in there.

"I'll be right back kiddo, alright? Gonna go see if I have any old clothes in my room. Promise I won't put you in bubblegum pink and hello kitty."

You joked with a small laugh as you looked at Jason as he wandered into the room and just stared around at everything, like he had never seen something this grand. When you left him, he was standing in the middle of the room but when you returned, he had settled onto the floor. His back pressed against the wall and his eyes observantly watching the room around him, like he was expecting danger.

"Jason," you softly called out as you knocked on the door, "I brough you some clothes. I couldn't find much, I'm sorry bud, but I found a good pair of jeans and an old t-shirt if you want it buddy?" You offered gently as you slowly stepped in, taking note of how his eyes followed you and your movements. Almost like he was scared something was going to happen. You gently shut the door before, with careful and slow movements, sitting down in front of him. Crossing your legs as you smiled gently, pushing down your own tears and panic, before setting the clothes down on the floor beside you.

"Stupid question Jason but are... are you okay..? I know that look you gave me a bit ago, I know it all too well actually, if you want to talk I'm he-" "Shut up."

He cut you off, glaring at you with icy eyes as he gritted his teeth and pushed himself against the wall more. His reactions to your closeness made you frown gently as you slowly nodded and, stood up and headed towards your door. You turned your back to him, showing a silent trust, as you walked. Just as you were about to open the door you looked back at him. "I mean it kid, I'm here, just across the hall, alright? I'll see you at dinner? Alfred is making spaghetti tonight, a request, he's really nice. Dinner is at six, in an hour." You said quietly before heading out the door, gently clicking it shut behind you, before seeking out the butler. Knowing you needed to cry your eyes dry right now.

You wandered until you found him, diligently cooking in the kitchen, and you gently knocked on the door.

"Alfred," you called out; your voice shaking slightly, "can... can I talk to you..?"

You quietly asked, your tone making him stop cooking and looking at you. A concerned look in his eyes as he wiped his hands dry and stepped towards you.

"Of course," he reassured, "what's bothering you?"

He questioned with a soft tone as you shuffled towards him and wrapped your arms tight around him, burying your face from view as your shoulders started to shake and you started to cry.

"That kid! H-He had the same look I did! I-I-I-I don't even think he's thirteen Alfred!" You sobbed out as you clung to him tighter, making him slowly hug you and wrap his arms tight around you. Pulling you into, what would typically be, a bone crushing hug as he let you sob. You weren't sure how long you cried for, but you knew dinner was late and even as you sat at the table you still looked like you were on the verge of crying again. You gently pushed your food around, not really having an appetite before small footsteps made you look up. Jason stood at the end of the table, dressed in your old t-shirt and pants as his eyes anxiously flicked around from you, to Bruce, to Alfred, then back to you. Making you slowly pull the chair next to you out and smiling softly, a silent offer for him to sit next to you. Which he hesitantly took, letting himself sink into the chair and watched as you pushed your plate towards him.

"Eat," you whispered, "you look starving kiddo."

Even with your hushed tone, honest concern and warmth seeped into your voice as you smiled warmly before you gingerly ruffled his hair and put your cup in front of him. Making him look up at you with eyes of questions and confusion, which only made you slowly shake your head. Another silent understanding between the two of you, which Bruce didn't quite seem to understand but Alfred did. He understood every look you gave and every small movement you made with the little boy beside you. Taking on a role of support for the young boy, which you had needed so desperately when you first came. Alfred had taken it upon himself to be that role for you and was relatively proud of how well he had done.

After dinner you cleaned up, not being able to sit still any longer, and found that you had a little shadow. Not that you minded, knowing you had done the same to Alfred for years, so you just let Jason follow you as you washed, dried, and put the dishes away. You let him be your shadow until you headed towards your room. To which you stopped and turned to look at him.

"Do you want me to tuck you in buddy? I'll leave the lamp on and my door open, alright?"

You offered with a strange warmth in your voice, making Jason stare up at you with furrowed eyebrows before he nodded and just stood there as you offered your hand. A soft gesture Alfred had done to you many times when Bruce had first adopted you. The butler really had rubbed off you, hadn't he? You gently led Jason into the room across from yours and gently picked him up, making him jolt and tense up as your hands went under his armpits and didn't quite relax when you put him on the bed. He just... stared up at you, as if he was experiencing this for the first time, as you tucked him in before ruffling his hair and turning the lamp on the bedside table on the lowest setting before smiling.

"I'm right across the hall, alright little man? Just come over and wake me up if you need me. It won't be a bother."

You promised as you gently gave his hand a squeeze before heading towards the door and shutting the overhead light off before leaving. Making sure you leave his door open just enough you could hear him if he got up, maybe it was just your natural instinct to protect the little ones around you. But you felt like you needed to be the support beam in his life.

The next morning, you woke up to the sun assaulting your eyes. Making you groan and pull the blanket over your face. You laid there for about ten more minutes before you forced yourself up, changing out of the clothes you slept in and into a sweatshirt and jeans. Which was really all you wore anymore, not feeling confident enough to pull off the latest fashion. You spent your morning in the library, enjoying silence and solitude when you heard a crash. Making you jolt and get up, as quickly as your body would let you that early, and headed towards the reason of the crash. When you rounded the corner, you saw Jason the ground. Books scattered about him as he glared at the bookshelf, as if it had been the reason he had fallen. It took him a moment to notice you, but when he did his glare turned to you. A scowl on his lips and his brows furrowed.

"I fell..."

He muttered, making you slowly nod.

"I can see that buddy," you said gently and slowly made your way towards him, "are you hurt?"

You softly asked, making him scoff as his gaze fell to the floor where you knelt, "no," he murmured out as you gently ran your fingers over the back of his skull. Checking for a bump before pushing hair from his face, making sure there was no gash on his face. With every touch, he flinched away and almost jolted as you checked him for any wounds. With each flinch, your concern grew. What had his life been like before this? Was he beaten or something?

"Good news little dude, I can't find any battle wounds."

You said as you smiled warmly. Your words brought a snort from him as he tried to force back a smile as he looked away from you, trying to conceal his smile. Your smile only grew as you stood up, your knees popping as you did, before you grabbed a book down and held it out to him.

"Here," you gently spoke, "it's a good book and a quick read. I think you'll like it."

You said, a soft tone in your voice as he gently reached up before snatching the book from you. Making you jump slightly as his eyes danced over the cover, a flicker of familiarity in his eyes before he forced himself up and darted away from you. Into a different corner of the library, far away from you, before you rolled your eyes gently and bent down.

"Guess I'm picking this up then."

You said, a slight fondness for the boy in your voice as you collected the books before putting them back onto the shelves, all in the respective places before you slowly made your way back to your reading spot. You plucked your book up before gently settling back into your window bench, letting the sun warm your body as you read.

It took a long while, but Jason slowly opened up to you. Spending more and more time with you, out of his room, as he stuck close to you. It had been late at night, just as you were drifting off to sleep, when he walked in. Jason stood by your bed before reaching up with a shaking hand.

"He-ey... are... are you awa-ake..?"

His voice was shaky and his words were broken up, making it hard to ignore it. You sat up and turned your lamp on, the warm glow of the light illuminated the tears in his eyes as he looked down. As if he was ashamed for coming to you.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm awake buddy. What- What's the matter?"

You asked, panic clear in your voice as you looked at him and moved over in your bed. Gently patting your sheets, inviting him to climb into bed with you. Which he took without a second thought. Jason sat on the bed before thumping against you, he curled into you and gripped your sleep shirt tightly as a quiet sob left his lips. Making you hold him tight and press a tender kiss to his head.

"It's okay," you softly promised, "you can cry darling. You're safe here, you're safe with me..."

You whispered out, holding him a bit tighter as you gently rocked the both of you. A slight British accent laced your words, most likely from Alfred, as you gently placed your chin on his head and closed your eyes. Just letting him cry, you knew he needed it. So you didn't speak again, just held him tightly as he sobbed against you. His cries shattered your heart as you squeezed your eyes shut, remembering when you sounded like that. So, broken down and sad. It brought you years back and you just held him tighter as you kissed his head again as you tried not to cry yourself.

You weren't exactly sure how long he cried, but you just kept holding him tight and rocking gently until his cries dwindled down into whimpers and soft sniffles.

"Do... Do you think she even loved me..? Like... what would she even say right now..?"

Jason's question caught you off guard, and you just sat in a stunned silence before you pulled away and stood up as you headed towards your dresser. Looking for a sweatshirt for him in the dim light.

"Well," you started as you plucked a sweatshirt from your closet and headed back to him, "it's hard to say exactly. I'm not sure what she'd say..."

Your words trailed off as you gently slipped the sweatshirt onto him and settled back onto your bed, a bit away from him as you smiled gently and took his hand.

"I didn't know your mom, but I'll let you in on a little bit of advice someone told me once."

You spoke so gently as you held his smaller hand in yours and rubbed your thumb over his knuckles, preparing yourself to bring up something that Alfred had said years ago.

"An old friend told me that things will happen, sometimes we don't like it. Sometimes we hate it, or it makes us feel like we're drowning in our own body. Or like apart of us died with them," you said with a bittersweet tone as you glanced away from Jason, "but," you said softly as you looked back at him with a warm smile, "I think she'd want you to live like the worlds on fire, and love like your heart could never break, never look down on yourself when you're feeling like it's your fault. I don't think she'd want you to regret what you could or couldn't do, I think she'd want you to pretend she made it to thirty eight and made the birthday cake she promised... I want to think she didn't want you to think that you're the only one on your team, but I'll always be on your team Jason. I'll root for you no matter what, I will back you up if you're right or wrong. Because I will always, always, be here for you little man. Alright..?"

You gently asked, softly gripping his hand, as you accidentally let your own mother's death seep into your words as you leaned forward and kissed his forehead warmly. When he wasn't crying, he usually shoved you away when you kissed his head. But this time he leaned into you, curling into your chest and stomach as you held him tight and let your eyes close as you let him be a little kid. The two of you sat in silence for a long time, you wanted to say around ten or fifteen minutes, before Jason spoke up.

"I... I love you..."

His little confession made your body tense up and your head lift, making him look up at you with terrified eyes. As if he had just said something to push you away, but instead of pulling away like he expected. You smiled gently and let one of your hands ruffle his hair affectionately.

"I love you too buddy, I love you too."

[jacaeryslover]

the betrothal, a jacaerys velaryon one-shot.

summary: reader father (stark) accepts to make the betrothal between jace & reader official, jace misunderstands. angst (not really) & fluff!

Back in the old days, when you and Jacaerys were still little kids, Princess Rhaenyra proposed a betrothal between you two, having a Targaryen & Stark union would benefit the realm once she became Queen.

But your father denied it, you were both kids, so he told the Targaryen Princess to wait for them to grow to make it official. Both of you knew back then, the Queen spoke about it with Jacaerys, and he decided you deserved to know who you were going to marry.

—Hello, princess— You hear a shy voice coming from the back, it has to be one of the Velaryon boys, you thought, none of Queen Alicent's sons would speak so softly to a Northerner.

You were right, Jacaerys Velaryon was standing behind you, Princess Rhaenyra's oldest son and the next heir to The Iron Throne. You found a very good friend in him the weekends you stayed in King's Landing. The Velaryon boys felt like a breath of fresh air in these foreign and tense lands.

—Hello, my prince. Is everything alright?—Her voice was soothing, comforting, even for her age. Jacaerys thought he could listen her talk for hours. —Yeah princess, I'm quite alright. Actually, I wanted to talk to you about our betrothal.

—Our betrothal?— She asked, clearly confused. Maybe he should've said it differently.

—Yes, my mother talked about it with your father, he said he would agreed once we were of age. I'm sorry if you didn't want this. But I promise you I will take care of you, and you will be my one and only Queen.

Jacaerys was kind, and she knew that. None of the boys in King´s Landing were as nice as him and his little brother, so the thought of marrying him instead of Aemond sounded amazing. Besides, she knew her dad would never allow her only daughter to marry a monster.

—I have to say I did not expected this, nevertheless, my feelings for you are not those of hate, I will be the luckiest girl if I get to marry you in the future, my prince.

Jacaerys could not be happier, hearing those words from the girl he liked so much made him feel sick to his stomach, a feeling he did not hate at all, so he said the words he´d been keeping the last few weekends.

—Since this moment, I am loyal to you, with heart, body & soul, I am solemnly yours.

He knew she had to leave King´s Landing tomorrow, he didn´t want this, he wanted her to stay. But she also had dutties as Princess in Winterfell. So he waited, he waited days, weeks, months, years.

°°°

—Jace, did you hear about it? Your little wolf's father finally agreed to a betrothal.

His pacific temple crumbled, you didn't mention anything about betrothal proposals in your letters. But your father just accepted to marry you to someone that isn't him, he couldn't allow that. Not when he spend all of his life loving you.

—Are you sure?— He asked Aegon, he was known for being constantly drunk, so he wasn't a reliable source of information, and he wasn't the nicest person, so he could easily be just annoying him.

—Yeah, pretty sure I heard father talking about it, I guess you weren't the best option after all.

Maybe he was right, he wasn't good enough, maybe he heard the whispers, the whispers about his birth. He had to do something, he would fight for her once she arrives to King's Landing.

Later that day, she's finally here, in the same room with him, so he talks first.—Is it true? That your father accepted a betrothal?— His face clearly tensed, he felt like he was being stabbed in the chest, directly in the heart, waiting for your answer was agony.

—Yeah, he did. He made it official a day ago. I thought you knew.—

—How could I know? You didn't mentioned it in your letters, I don't know what happens in Winterfell. Tell me honestly, was it because of me? Was it my fault? Did I do something wrong? Is it because i'm a bastard?

—Jacaerys!—She would rarely use his full name, she was mad, or hurt, Jace could not read her right now, he's full with his emotions already.—Don't ever say that again. None of this is your fault. My father made official our betrothal.—Jace could feel her hands caressing his cheeks, he could feel her trying to make him feel better. He was hurt, but he already felt better, how could he forgot that their betrothal was not official yet? He was blind with his loyalness.

—You should´ve known that I wouldn´t agree to marry someone that it isn´t you. You are my only love. I sweared loyalty to you when I was a child and I did not regretted my decision a single time.

The wedding was set in 3 weeks.

She was the most beautiful woman he ever laid his eyes on, she walked to him by her fathers arm. Her dress had beautiful embroidery in honor to her house, but he couldnt wait for her to use the Targaryen colors instead.

—With this kiss, I pledge my love—.

[heartfullofleeches]

Practice

College Yan + Older Neighbor Reader [M + G.N]

Summary: A friend requests a favor from you after a rough night

Warning: Legal age gap, mentions of alcohol and drugs, emotional manipulation, groping

-

12 missed calls....

"..Hey, Y/n. Just realized you're probably still at work right now....l I just wanted to say thanks for everything. Without you - I don't think I'd be out here tonight.."

"Y/n - hey! Oh... just missed you I guess. I just arrived, and... honestly I'm really nervous. There's more people than I thought there'd be and I don't know anyone. You mind if I call again? Even if you don't answer - it's nice not being alone."

"Y/n... things are going pretty good so far. Someone just came up to me and handed me a cup. I've never drank before, but I have too many regrets already to have another. This goes out to you."

"Are you afraid of dying alone?.... it never crossed my mind until my grandad died a few years back. Nobody liked the guy so he just.... wasted away alone in his house. I don't want that to happen to me. I wish you were here."

"Y/n?.... fuck... please don't listen to that last message. Can you come pick me up? I sent the address to you earlier, but I forgot to tell you. I think I drank too much and I know it's late but... fuck."

"You're coming to pick me up...aren't you? You wouldn't leave me behind like everyone has... I'm so happy I-"

Message Saved.

You didn't need to hear the rest. Teddi was the sweetest guy you've met in recent years. A little rough around the edges, sure, but it's a given with everything he's been through. Once you cracked that shell, he revealed that dorky, loveable self of his who still cried when animals died in movies yet gushed for hours about his fascination with horror media as a whole. You thought you were doing the right thing by trying to get him out of his comfort zone - keep him from turning out like you.

Breathing through your teeth, you toss your phone into the passenger seat as you exit the vehicle. Beer glasses and someone's glasses left out in the field crunch beneath your feet as you cross the lawn up to the house and adjacent door. Poking your head through the crack; a sea of young adults and their peers overcrowd the living space - egging each other into boisterous acts and having the time of their new lives. Realistically you couldn't be a few years older than the older face in the crowd, but this wasn't your click. You walk up to the nearest, unattended person and tap them on the shoulder.

"Excuse me, looking for someone. Thick glasses, nose ring, blue...ish hair? Should've brought my phone out-"

"Oh!! You must be Ted's partner. Y/n - right?."

"We aren't dating. I'm their neighbor."

"My bad - he's just been talking about you all night so I thought - anyway, he's up on the roof. Said he needed the fresh air. Just head upstairs, the ladder to the attic should be right there.

"Alright. Thanks." You push past them and up the stairs - bracing your foot on the ladder rails that creek under your weight as you climb up into the attic. The room is foggy, musty fog filtered out the open door leading to the patio. You reject an offer for its source as politely as you could as you brush by the individuals occupying the space, pulling your shirt over your nose as you step out into the chilly night. Laying on a blanket made of someone else's coat, Teddi sits beneath the stars wearing the jacket you lent him about a week ago. He takes the blunt offered by a peer, breaking off its tip as he pulls it to his lips. You knock on the door frame twice - smoke violent exhausted from his nose and lungs as he turns around to see you.

"Y/n." Teddi staggers to his feet, legs tangled in his makeshift blanket as he trips and stumbles his way towards you. He sports a dopey grin, fixing your jacket to his shoulder. "Hey, we were just talking about you - this is.. uh.." He snapped his fingers. "Fuck."

"Trudy."

"Trudy! Right, haha - they're great, but not as great as you."

"That's great." You wrap an arm around their shoulder, turning them towards the door. "We're leaving."

Teddi slurs out a whine, leaning back - trying to pull you with him. "What? But you just got here. I wanna introduce you to everyone first."

"Maybe later. I need to get you home." Your right hand finds the small of his back, locking around his waist. "Car - now."

His pink face flushes further. "Okay...."

-

Loading Teddi into the car, his head slumps against the passenger window as you shut the door. The ride home is mostly quiet - his hand glued to your lap no matter how many times you nudge him away. His head rolls over to your shoulder and the alcohol on his breath fans your face as he speaks.

"Do you think somebody will ever love me, Y/n?"

"Why are you asking me?"

"I meant someone tonight."

He studies your face. No twinge of jealousy or sadness. You almost looked relieved. He swallows, buring the ache as he continues. "I meant someone and.... I know they're way out of my league. Kind....smart....when they smile it's like the whole room lights up. We hadn't known each other for long, but they've always been there and... I can't imagine life without them now that they're here. Despite our differences I know we are meant for each other."

You ease your foot off the gas. "....Ted. You're a good kid. If I had known a guy like you back when I was your age I would have loved to get to know him."

Teddi sits upright, looking down as he rubs his face. "Quit talking like you're so much older than me..."

"We're here."

Teddi glances outside. Always when he works up the courage to talk to you.. You park outside your house and round the car to help him get to his. Teddi clutches your arm as you face his yard.

"Please don't make me go home tonight, Y/n."

His nails dig into your shirt. "Please."

You sigh. Helping him up the driveway and into your home, you guide Teddi into your bedroom- afraid of what's happen if you give him the couch. Teddi relaxes as you cross the threshold into your living room. The familiarity of your home, just the two of you in this vast space - he wouldn't give it up for anything. The lingering stress melts from his face as you lower him into your bed, resting on the pillow you lay your head on every night. You set his glasses on the dresser and bring him a glass of water - wishing him good night as you turn off the lights. Hovering over the bed, he grabs your wrist as you turn to leave.

"Y/n..... please stay with me tonight."

He brings a hand up to your face, stroking your jaw as he pulls you closer. "Kiss me, Y/n."

".... how much did you drink, Teddi."

"Alot, but - I need you... to help me I mean. I've never kissed anyone before, and I need the practice if I'm ever going to tell them how I feel. You're the only person I can turn to for this. You promised that you would always be there for me."

You knew that would come back to haunt eventually. "Ted, when I said I'd help you with anything, I meant like teaching you how to do your taxes or change a tire. This isn't something we should be doing."

His cheek presses against your neck, fresh tears staining your skin. "We can forget about it in the morning.... They're all I have. You're all I have... Please don't leave me too."

"....show me."

"Huh?"

"How you would confess. Show me."

You sit on the edge of the bed. Teddi props back against the frame, tucking his hair behind one ear and fixing his shirt. He chews on his bottom lip - the moonlight reflecting off your skin basking you in that heavenly shine he always saw. He looks down. "I'm gonna use your name just to make it easier - okay?"

Teddi takes a deep breath. "Y/n - you... you're the most amazing person I've ever met. When I'm with you, it's like opening my eyes for the first time. You're someone I know I can trust through thick and thin... you've always been there for me, and I want to be here for you... forever."

He scoots closer, placing a hand on your lap as he cups your cheek - leaning in til his forehead rests against yours. "I like you...I love you. Please, stay with me."

Teddi slowly closes the distance; fingers restricted round your thigh as his lips fall flush against yours. It feels like a crime - your soft skin beneath his chapped, bitten lips. He presses deeper, engraving every each of you into his memory and being that his mind would allow. His tongue ghosts your lower lip, snaking against your teeth. His hand clasps the base of your neck as he adds his weight to your chest, pulling you up on the bed as he brings your hanging leg up to his side.

"y/n....."

He cards his fingers through at your hair - the taste of whiskey and desperation hot on your tongue as you wince from the abrupt tug at the back of your skull. The depth of your mouth is more indicating than any substance he had all night. His fingers sink into the flesh of your leg, working towards the curve of your ass as a moan vibrates through your teeth centered from throaty whine he makes as they close around his tongue. His lip ram yours as he tilts his head for a better angle with enough force to bruise, and by god he hopes it does. Biting down doesn't stop his tongue from barreling down your throat - ball piercing sucked to the roof of your mouth. He gives pause only when he finally accepts the stars dancing in view are from the lack of oxygen rather the magic of the eve- falling to your chest with a few links and kisses between greedy intakes of air and your scent. He giggles, hiccuping as his arms shoot around your waist.

"My first kiss...... I made sure to tear off the end when I smoked with that girl so I wouldn't lose it even indirectly. Was I your first too? Can you by my first in other ways too?"

You pull from under him as he nips at your shoulder. "You're not into Trudy?"

"Trudy?" The name rolls off his tongue with such disgust and confusion. "Heck no. The person I like is so much more special than her. I'm lucky to even be in their presence. I wanna give them the world. My heart. I love you.... them- so much."

You fall silent as he nuzzles his face against your torso, eyes growing heavy. "It's late, Teddi. Go to bed."

"Will you sleep with me?.... Stay with me until the morning?..."

".....Always."

Teddi cuddles up to your side as you join him in bed - fighting exhaustion to treasure your sleeping face beside him.

[lucy90712]

Can you please make a hector fort fic where he spends all his time with his friends and spends barely time with her. Then they were supposed to go on a date together and she waits for him to pick her up, she waits for 2 hours and goes to social media to see if he has posted anything and sees on his story a picture of him and her girl bestfriend having fun playing games. So she leaves the house with her stuff. When hector comes home he realises what he has done and tries to get back in contact with her but he fails. They don't see each other for a while but he notices her walking on a busy street and tries to talk to her. (ending with fluff please)

You: good morning amor hope training goes well don't forget about our plans tonight I'll be waiting for you 

Hector: have fun in class and don't worry I'll be there at 7 as promised 

You: love you 

That was the last I heard from Hector and now it's 8:32pm and he's still not here to pick me up. He promised he promised me he'd be here and that he'd make up for us not spending any time together. I should've seen it coming as he's been doing this for weeks he's promised time and time again that he will come over or we'll go on a date and then he never shows up. When I can finally get hold of him he always has an excuse either he was busy or with friends and lost track of time but whatever it is it hurts. I've done so much for Hector I've been there for him since we were kids and I've been there for every good and bad moment of his football career but he can't even manage to show up for one day or just to see me for an hour. 

We made the jump from being friends to being a couple just over a year ago and for the longest time he was the best boyfriend ever he treated me so well was super attentive and really made an effort to be romantic and take me on dates. I don't remember exactly when it changed I think it happened slowly over time but ever since he's started playing with the first team more he's been busier with training and matches which I understand but what I don't understand is spending every evening with his teammates who he sees all day when he could see me. It might sound selfish but I just miss my boyfriend he's already missed so much like he wasn't here when I was stressed over my big exams and he wasn't here when I got the results and he wasn't here when I needed him most when my mum went into hospital and I was scared and panicking. Just a few months ago he'd never dream of leaving my side during any of those times but now he barely knows they even happened. 

I text him once then twice then three times then I called multiple times but they all went unanswered. My last resort was to message him on Instagram as I know he won't have turned the notifications off for that but I didn't need to message him Instagram gave me my answer straight away. He had posted on his story showing him out with his friends and my best friend was with them too which was a whole other level of pain. My best friend knows all about my troubles with Hector yet she went out with him and his friends anyway and didn't even bother to tell me. That was the final straw I'm not dealing with this anymore I deserve better I deserve someone who will be there for me, not break promises and definitely not someone who makes me feel like this. 

My mind was racing but I quickly worked out what I wanted to do so I grabbed my keys and got in my car. Seeing as Hector wasn't in I decided now is the perfect time to go and get all the things I have at his place and leave the spare key I have that he gave me ages ago because I won't be needing it anymore. When I opened the door I immediately saw all the little things of mine there are that makes Hector's place feel just like my own some of my books are on his coffee table and my hair ties on the sideboard by the door. I spent some time grabbing all my things while trying not to cry that I was losing my boyfriend who I thought was the love of my life. Before I left I found a piece of paper and a pen and wrote Hector a note to tell him his I felt and why I was leaving and then put my key with it. Closing the door I felt like I was closing a chapter in my life a chapter I never wanted to close and one that's going to stay with me for a long time but it has to be done. 

Hector's POV

As soon as I opened the door to my apartment it felt weirdly empty like was something wrong but the door was locked and nothing looked like it has been stolen. Still I had a quick look around and then I noticed a piece of paper on the kitchen counter. Next to it was a key and that's when I realised what was wrong all of y/n's things were gone her books, her hair ties and all of the little things she leaves here were gone and this is her key that's now in my hand not with her like it should be. I knew the note would be from her but I didn't need to read it to know what was going on and what I'd done. I had promised to see her tonight as I've forgotten about the last few dates we've planned but I did it again my friends dragged me out after training and then I got carried away and forgot about the most important part of my day proving to y/n that I will do better. I really didn't want to read the note but I knew I had to I owe her that at the very least.

Dear Hector, 

I have left my key and taken my things because I'm done. I'm done because tonight we were supposed to go out you promised you'd pick me up at 7 and you promised you wouldn't forget like you have been for the last few months but you did. Instead of trying to prove to me that you love me and that the last few months have just been an anomaly you went out with your friends and my best friend leaving me waiting for you, calling and texting you until I saw your story. I can't do this anymore I love you but I can't let you treat me like this so I'm calling it here. I've really enjoyed the last year or so we've spent together but it's time for us to move on as clearly we aren't meant to be. 

I love you and probably will for the rest of my life but this is goodbye. 

Y/n xx

Those words hurt to read. I already knew I fucked up but to see the words written in front of me made it truly hit me how much I'd hurt her. She was the best thing that ever happened to me she was always there for everything no matter what she's been by my side through every up and down and I truly thought she'd be there for everything for the rest of our lives. I wanted her there for every achievement in my career and I wanted to be there for all of her achievements too. She was the one I didn't need anyone else I didn't want anyone else but now she's left me and I don't have my person anymore and I may never have her again. 

After the initial shock I tried to text her to see if I could apologise but she had already blocked me so I tried Instagram but she had blocked me on there too. I should've seen it coming but it upset me that I wouldn't be able to reach out to her and try and make things right or at least tell her how sorry I am for fucking this all up so badly. She's gone and it's all my fault that's what hurts the most if I hadn't been such an idiot then we'd still be together but no I had to go and ruin things with the best woman in the world. 

A few weeks later

Life has been hell for the last few weeks I've really missed y/n I've missed having her sat in the stands during matches and I've definitely missed seeing her. She's been in my life for the longest time not just as my girlfriend but as my friend so not having her in my life anymore and so suddenly as well has been really hard. I've definitely not been myself all of the guys keep asking if I'm ok and I tell them I am but we all know it's a lie they know how much I love y/n and they can see how it's destroyed me to lose her. I've tried time and time again to reach out to her but of course I'm still blocked I even text her best friend to get her to talk to y/n but she says she hasn't seen her or had any of her texts answered either so I have no way of telling her that I'm sorry. 

Everyone keeps telling me I need to try and move on and they're right it's just hard everything reminds me of y/n whenever I go anywhere I see places that we've been on dates to or just places we have memories at. Today I'm going to stop myself from moping about and go for a walk to clear my head as that's what I think I need to be able to move on or at least start to. I decided to go to the nearest park and walk around as it's relaxing and it should be quiet there which is what I need. 

The park was pretty empty there was a few people around; one couple with their baby an older couple feeding the birds and a girl who was sat on a bench with a book. The girl reminded me of y/n her hair was the same colour and reading in the park is something she loved to do. As I walked closer I realised that it actually was y/n she had headphones in and the book she'd been reading in her hands like she so often did when I went to see her. Seeing her made me stop in my tracks I didn't know whether to go and talk to her or just leave her be but then I realised this is my chance to talk to her and get closure at the very least. 

Your POV

Being without Hector has been hard I've missed feeling his touch and having him next to me when I sleep. So many times I've wanted to take it all back and run back to him but I know I can't or he'll think he can treat me like that again or someone else and I can't let that happen. Today is Wednesday which is the day that I had free from classes and usually I would spend all day with Hector so I've been sat at home all day thinking about him but I can't keep doing that so I needed to get outside. To give me something to do I walked to the park with my book. I found a bench with a nice view of the trees and the little pond with a few ducks and let myself forget about the real world. 

I was so in my own world that I didn't notice when someone sat next to me to start with until they sighed which brought me out of my trance. When I looked to my side I think I turned as white as a ghost because Hector was sat next to me with a look of pure sadness on his face. It took a few seconds for my brain to begin functioning again but when it did I leapt up and tried to run away. I'm not ready to face him again not when I've been trying so hard to forget about him and move on I blocked him and separated myself from him so I wouldn't have to do this. Before I could get more than a few steps away Hector placed a hand on my arm he didn't pull me back he didn't even hold my arm tightly but having his hand on me stopped me dead in my tracks. He encouraged me to sit back down so I did and I watched as his hand moved off my arm down to my hand which he held tightly in his grasp so I couldn't run again. 

"Hector" I started to say 

"No please let me talk" he interrupted 

"Ok but you have five minutes then I'm leaving" I said

"I'm sorry and I know move said that a lot recently but I really mean it when I got home and saw the note you left it broke me having all of your stuff gone from my apartment made it feel empty and not being able to see or talk to you has killed me I've missed you so much and I'll do anything to make it up to you" he said 

"How do I know that you actually mean it and that you'll actually change I told you how disappointed I was a million times and every time you told me you wouldn't forget the next time and then you always did it's like I wasn't important to you anymore how do I know that'll change" I said 

"I know I was an awful boyfriend but losing you has taught me a lot I know I can't treat you like that and I'd never dream of doing it again this might seem to much but you are truly the one for me I don't want to ever be with anyone else so please give me a another chance and I promise I'll do better and if I don't I'll let you go" he said 

"Ok but this is your last chance if you miss any date or anything without telling me and giving me a valid reason we're done" I said 

"I'll never miss a date ever again don't worry" he said 

"I can't lie I'm glad to have you back I've missed you so much it really hurt to walk away" I said

"And you'll never have to walk away again I'm here to stay" he said 

He pulled me into his side and leant down to kiss my lips which felt so good as I've missed having him by my side and I've definitely missed kissing him. He let me sit and finish the chapter I was reading before we left the park and went back to his place as he wanted to make things up to me straight away by having a movie date at home which he knows are my favourite. He's definitely off to a good start at making things up to me but honestly I'm just happy to have him back by my side. 

[eras-mus]

HIII I HAD A THOIGHT THAT HAS BEEN KILLING MY MIND AND I NEED TO TELL IT TO SOMEONE OTHERWISE IM GNA EXPLODE

get this . everyone chilling at ramshackle dorm doing their own thing, yuu (and grimm by extension), ace and deuce sitting by the table talking about whatever crosses their mind

Eventually the conversation escalates to birthdays and holidays and ace asks how old Yuu is. Azul interjects with saying Yuu's age from the contract they signed a few months ago, but then Yuu pipes up and tells them that they're one year older than that.

Theres a small moment of confusion until it dawns onto Deuce that Yuy's birthday was a month or two ago and they never spoke a peep about it. Not even to grimm!! And when asked, Yuy makes an excuse like "that was when __ was kind of close to overblotting and I didn't want to make it about me because that'd be so nitpicky—"

It was based off an audio i heard and idk if i want to write it into a short drabble for myself i probably cant since im only on book 2 ueue). But like. its a fun prompt methinks. what would all of them do when they find out Yuu deliberately didn't say a thing about their birthday

🎉

THAT WAS YOUR BIRTHDAY???

★Reader is Yuu and is 17 years old

★gender neutral

★takes place after the third book

Sorry it's short, hope you like it!

-

"Can we start yet!" Ace complained, head slamming onto the table.

"I told you we're waiting on a couple more people." The perfect told him "I invited Kalim and Azul to join us since Sebek and Jack couldn't make it"

Tonight was the Ramshackle dorms weekly game night, normally it was just the freshmen but Sebek said that Malleus 'needs' his protection and Jack was just to tired from Spell Drive practice.

"They outta hurry up" Epel started, country accent slightly showing through "don't they know it's rude to be late."

A awkward silence fell over the dorm for a moment before a knock echoes through the dorm.

When y/n opened the dorm they were greeted with a cheerful smile and a hug.

"Thank you so much for inviting me!" Kalim smiled "I hope you don't mind that I brought Jamil, I also brought food, well Jamil did, he made it!"

Y/n blinked for a moment, taking in all the words one guy manged to say so fast. They looked over Kalim's shoulder just in time to see Jamil face plant.

"Thank you for the food Jamil" They smiled, giving him a wave.

"If was the least I could do perfect" he stated, not returning the wave.

Luckily Azul showed up before y/n could shut the door.

Just a few minutes later the group was playing some sort of trivia card game where they would either have to answer a question about someone else playing, a question about themselves, or just a random fact. If they got it wrong the next person would answer the same card, whoever got the most questions right won.

"Who is the most followed person in Magi Cam?" Epel read, "That's easy, Neige"

He revealed the answer to show it was correct.

"Of course you would get that one right" Ace complained "Vil never stops going on about it"

Every one just ignoring him looked over at Deuce, who was next to pick a card.

"How old is the person sitting to your right?" He looked over at y/n. "I'm not sure...18?"

They just shook their head.

"I know this one" Azul butted in, ready to take another point "Our contract from a while ago said that they were 16."

One again y/n shook their head. "I just turn 17 last month"

The room went silent for what seemed like forever.

"WE MISSED YOUR BIRTHDAY!" They all shouted in union.

"Riddle is going to have a heart attack when he finds out" Deuce commented, Ace nodding in agreement.

"You should've said something, we could've had a huge party" Kalim whined.

Y/n scratch the back of their head, "It's not big deal, it was right after one of the overblots, plus where I'm from birthdays aren't that big of a deal."

"Jamil we need to plan a party right now" Kalim said, getting up from his seat.

"We have to too" Ace said "Or get Trey and Riddle to do it for us"

Soon everyone had said something similar and got up and left leaving a confused Ramshackle perfect.

[apomaro-mellow]

Mafia Part 1

For the occasion, Eddie was given one of his dad's old suits. It didn't quite fit as well but it would have to do for now. He tied his hair up in a bun and put a hat on top of it. Wayne was dressed similarly and it was like this that they entered the Marini home. Eddie couldn't remember the entire reason everyone was gathering. Could've been a birthday party for all he knew. But being in the main house meant good drinks and a chance to rub elbows with the folks up top. Which obviously meant more money.

Wayne finally let the leash off to go and talk with some of the older guys and Eddie got to go off on his own. He sat with Tonio, a man shorter than him despite being ten years older and Swirly, who looked like a breeze could knock him over.

"Why do they call you Swirly?", Eddie asked.

"'Cause when I stab guys I like to flick my blade around. It's my own personal touch."

"'Personal touch'", Tonio laughed. "You're just a classic narcissist."

"It's art."

"It's ghoulish."

"You wanna talk narcissism...", Swirly trailed off as he took a sip of his drink.

Tonio whistled like a rock falling down a well. He must know who Swirly was talking about.

"Who?", Eddie asked, preferring to stay in the loop.

"The little prince", Tonio sneered.

"Steve Harrington. The boss' son", Swirly provided a better answer.

"Harrington, huh?", Eddie said, just meaning to get a feel for the name but the others must have thought he was asking another question.

"The last boss had a daughter, just an absolute peach of a dame", Tonio said. "But she went and fell for this outsider, Harrington."

"He'd done some deals with us, but he wasn't family", Swirly said. "Until he married into it."

Eddie nodded, getting the picture. "So Steve Harrington should've been Steve Marini?"

"He could've been Giuseppe Alessandro Italiano-Magnifico. Won't change him", Toni nearly snarled, starting to spoil the air with a bitter scent before reining himself in. Eddie was eager to find out how someone so high on this world's food chain had earned the disdain of one of his underlings.

Eddie moved around a bit. Tonio and Swirly were basically footmen. Always in the streets, rarely in the room where the big decisions were made. Eventually Eddie came to a circle of young men closer to his age. Young bucks who were also looking to rise up. Some of them were already related by blood, cousins and nephews. Others were like Eddie, boys down on their luck, doing little jobs here and there for the money. But when you gave to the family, there was always the chance that you could be brought into the fold.

You could be sponsored.

Eddie had heard of it. Heard it could be a grueling process depending on who was vouching for you and for what. Wayne had been sponsored a few years ago. It had been an odd time when he didn't see his uncle as much as he'd been used to. But by the end of it, Wayne was able to invoke the Marini name if need be.

It was power. It was respect. It was everything Eddie wanted. They were seated at a table outside in the backyard where they could be louder. As they were wont to do. Sometimes the conversation switched to Italian, which left Eddie in the dark, but before too long it was back to a tongue he knew.

They started talking about what they'd do to be sponsored and then it turned to what they wouldn't do.

"What if they ask you to be celibate?"

"They're not gonna ask that."

"I heard they made a guy cut off his knot."

"Get outta here!"

"Nah, it wasn't just the knot, it was his balls too."

"They don't want eunuchs!"

"An alpha's only good for his knot anyway."

"What's a beta good for then?"

"Fuck if I know."

That caused both raucous laughter and jeers from the betas in the crowed. And just because Eddie had to be a pot stirrer, he spoke up.

"What about omegas?", he smirked.

"They got holes, don't they?", one alpha said.

"Everybody needs a warm body", a beta answered.

"If they're the right omega they can set you on easy street", another alpha, answered. He'd introduced himself as Tommy. Hagan, not to be confused with Tommy Corns who got caught holding up a pharmacy last year.

"The 'right omega' meaning your omega?", another guy piped up.

"He ain't Tommy's yet. He's still gotta woo him", a different one cackled.

"Aww, you sweet on someone Tommy-boy?", Eddie jabbed.

"I'm not sweet on anyone. Just got my target locked."

"On?", Eddie pressed.

"Who else but the best? Pretty soon, you'll all be calling me 'boss'", Tommy looked so sure of himself.

Ah, so he was after the cream of the crop. Eddie wondered how many of these guys were after Steve. Probably not many if Tommy was openly gunning for him.

Wayne found him and put an arm around his shoulders as he brought him back into the house. "There's someone I want you to meet. Mind yourself and don't get any ideas."

“What? Me? Ideas?”, he grinned cheekily.

“I mean it. We’re here to do our jobs and keep our heads down.”

Wayne brought him before a man in his late forties, thick, dark hair, graying around the edges. Next to him was a young man. Both were dressed in perfectly tailored suits. For a second, Eddie thought that he was being brought before a fellow associate. But he quickly realized these two were far above that. Especially with the way Wayne deferred to them.

Eddie was so caught by a scent that he almost missed what was happening. Lavendar and pine, wafting around him in a way that reminded him of freshly laundered linens.

It was during introductions that he realized. This was the omega everyone was talking about. Steve Harrington.

And he was looking at Eddie like he was a stray dog.

Steve looked him up and down. “You’re the Munson boy?”

“Sweetheart, I think I’ve got a few years on you to be called ‘boy’.” Eddie hissed when that remark earned him a pop on the head from Wayne.

“Please forgive my nephew. He’s not around polite company often.”

“If he’s yours Wayne, I’m not worried”, Harrington Sr. said. “I know in time he’ll prove himself to be loyal and a worthy addition to the business.”

While the older men talked, Eddie’s eyes were glued to Steve’s, who in turn hadn’t looked away from him yet. There was something behind those eyes and Eddie wanted to find out what it was. Eddie knew what it was like when people looked down at you. Steve was doing that, sure, but it was more than that.

It was almost like he expected something to happen. If Eddie were more bold, he would have made another comment. But he wouldn't dare do so in front of such a powerful man. Steve's father, James, could have had him killed with just an order. He wasn't about to antagonize his only shot at a not-shit life.

Eddie would have done so if he could've gotten to Steve one-on-one. But after that little meet and greet, Eddie was taken to talk to other men. And every glimpse of Steve he got, he was glued to his father's side.

Little prince indeed.

Part 3

[recreationalfanfics]

Loki + Jack The Ripper with a Muerte the Wolf! S/o:

LIKE THE READER HAS THE SAME MANNERISMS AND JUST IS DEATH, NOT A DEATH GOD, THEY JUST ARE DEATH. Also Handsome is used in a gender neutral term here btw!"

Loki:

You always had a certain distaste when it came to Gods. They were, if not just as bad, as humans when it came to appreciating their lives because you knew already that even God's could bleed. When Ragnarok started, you essentially became a janitor as you took the souls of dead mortals to Niflhiem, and were confused when you had to escort two God's souls but it made you slightly proud, knowing that these humans were willing to fight for their entire survival and for their future generations...they may not have been as hopeless as you thought.

"Hello, (tall/small), dark, and handsome!" A voice called out to you.

Unlike some people.

"Loki. Leave me be, I have work to attend too." You brush him off, not bothering to look back at the green-haired God.

However that did not stop him from being as annoying as ever and floating in front of you, his face upside down as he gave you one of his signature creepy little smiles. You scoffed and ducked down under him but he immediately stood upright, his feet landing on the ground.

As of late, the God of Deciet started hanging around you more. You couldn't really fathom as to WHY, maybe because he thought you were interesting or maybe because he knew you wanted to be left alone and just wanted to bother you anyways. Regardless, you've been pestered by him non stop for ages.

"Aw, but you always have work!" He whines, grabbing your cloak and pulling you towards him.

You make no reaction as you fall into his arms and you let out an animalistic growl as he hugs you tightly and nuzzles his cheek with yours.

"If I didn't know any better, (Y/n), it's almost like you don't like me!"

You harshly shove him off of you and try to walk off but he catches up to you rather quickly. He was oddly more determined than usual to get in your way, "So, what did you think of the fight just now? Aren't the humans exciting!?"

You smiled at him, "I'll agree with you on that. I'm gonna be honest, I'm quite proud of them."

"Oh, is that so?"

"Yes." Then your eyes go from (e/c) to red as you step in front of him with a wolfish grin, "I wonder if they'll finally make you Gods realize that one day, I'll come for you all, too."

Loki blinks but then laughs at your words, causing you to become stone-faced once more seeing how your intimidation didn't work on him, either because he was too arrogant or too out of his mind.

"Believe me, if I could die a thousand deaths just so you would come to me just once, I would," He sighs dreamily, making you roll your eyes and turn away from him, "But, alas, it seems you're too insistent on playing hard to get!"

It feels very noteworthy to mention that you've been playing "hard to get" with him for a good portion of your existence and considering how death was neverending, it has been a very long time. You learned long ago you shouldn't bother to get attached to people because you knew that you couldn't keep them, you'd have to take them and give them up at some point, and this tournament only proved that not even the God of Deceit would be any different if the humans could kill gods. Not that you'd be super upset if he were to die, regardless of how managed to rile up all your emotion, it would still be all the same.

"...Answer me this, God, would you still smile at me the way you do now if I had to escort you to Niflhiem?"

Loki seemed taken aback by your question and tapped his chin, pretending to think about your inquiry before giving you a sly smile.

"Only if you send me off with a kiss~"

You narrow your eyes at him but begin to walk away from him. You should've known better than to ask a serious question to a foolish God.

Jack the Ripper:

Jack wondered if he was able to die a second time in the afterlife, well...he knew he was able too considering he just killed a God, but he wonders what would happen if he just dropped to the ground, laying down and succumbing to the injuries bestowed into him by Hercules and the crowd. Would he go to Niflhiem? Or would he just go to Hell?

He didn't get the chance to find out because once he fell to his knees, he felt another person grab one of his arms and put it around their shoulder. He feels their hand on his back supporting him as they both stood up together and then walked down the hall.

"I truly do believe that you're cursed, Jack." You sigh softly, shaking your head. He looks up at you, you can see him doing so from your peripheral vision and you chuckle to yourself softly, "Honestly, it amazes me how you're capable of such cruelty and yet, you still have such innocent eyes."

You speak to him like you are an old friend to him, in fact, you feel awfully familiar to him. He's certain that he's never met you before in his life, however, he would've remembered someone with such a beautiful color. You...you embodied it, you embodied his favorite color of life fleeting from a person, but there was more to your color than just that. You were a macabre work of art, so if you had met...surely he would've remembered you!

"D...Do I know you?" He asked, trying his best not to cough up blood. You shake your head, "No...but I do know you. After all, we have worked with each other quite a few times in the past. Five times to be exact."

He narrowed his eyes, now he surely felt like he would've remembered you, especially if he met you five times. You chuckle at his furrowed brows as he tries to think about what you were talking about.

"You might not have seen me, but you have felt me." You tease, finding the look on his face quite endearing.

He wonders what on Earth you could've possibly meant by that, thinking long and hard. Yes, you did feel familiar. You felt calm to be around, perhaps slightly bit ominous, but you felt like...like the silence after a tragedy occurs. Solemn, causing slight anxiety to those around you, but then...quiet. Calm yet suspenseful.

Ah, he knows who you are now.

And you can see it in his eyes that he recognizes you.

"(Y/n)." He says, making it your turn to be shocked,

He was supposed to know you, but the fact he calls you...that name instead of your generally well-known one surprises you. He notices your expression change and smiles, "I do apologize if that was improper of me, but something inside me was telling me to call you that."

He was an odd one indeed.

"Don't apologize, I also feel as though we can drop the formalities, Jack." You chuckle.

You bring him the medical wing of the stadium and as you lay him down on the gurney, he grabs your arm before you pull it away.

"Thank you...for being with me all my life, (Y/n)." He grins.

If you had a heart, you were sure it would break from how true his words are. You had followed him along for quite a long time until you caught up to him, and now here you were, this time, he was able to finally see you.

"You truly are a cursed man." You sigh sadly, squeezing his hand reassuringly before standing up and leaving.

[itstheendofthegoddamnworld]

Swallowed Whole by The Flame (Messmer the Impaler x Tarnished! Reader) 12

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Summary: Avoiding Messmer in his Keep comes with some difficulties, however, the Tarnished finds more answers that she was not ready to hear.

A/N: Ah, so Tarnished fucked up… I wonder if Messmer will ever forgive her? On with this chapter! Enjoy!

A03 link

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Chapter 12: Insurrections

Your bedchambers have become familiar to you for some days now: a mess of what you once were. It is uncertain how long you've stayed in your one spot, staring idly out your window, wondering if one day you may gain the courage to apologise to Messmer.

You knew that it would never happen. His Lord had not come to see you, and you had not gone to face him. By the third day in your confinement, tiredness stings at your eyes. Your lack of awareness of time gives you no indication of what time of day it is. You stay up most of the night, starve and sometimes sleep, all the while looking like the mess you see yourself as.

Staying in your bedchambers felt as familiar as when the Impaler had imprisoned you, but this time, you knew you deserved it.

You don't wish to think of confronting Messmer, for he would not accept or listen to your endless apologies. You're worried he would burn you in the very spot if you dared even look his way. You're, however, thankful he didn't kick you out of his keep and burn his allegiance and protection away like cinders in your face.

It was perhaps wrong of you to lash out at him, for you had a guilt that you knew somewhat more than he.

Queen Marika was imprisoned in the Erdtree and you didn't have the heart to tell him.

Sitting up from your spot by the window, you brush your hands along a rigid object, looking to find a hairbrush, golden as Queen Marika's grace. It takes some effort to brush through your locks to untangle the knots and control the frizz, but you think you look presentable.

I must redeem myself in his honour. You tell yourself as you try to dress: simple trousers, boots and a shirt, one with red thread that loops through the buttons. 

You think back to his challenge: to bring Redmane Freya's head as an offering. To wish to return to that time, to be the feral Tarnished he thought you were.

If there was a way... you think to yourself, and the idea that springs to mind is one that only you can conjure. To meet face-to-face with someone you should've confronted ages ago.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"Lady Tarnished, it has been some time since we last spoke."

Sir Ansbach looked up from his book to greet you, though you're certain he is inspecting you of your drab attire, your dour look and the sunken skin that seems to make your face look sallow and worn with age.

"Ansbach, I must tell you of something. You mustn't tell a soul." Not even Messmer. To think if he found out, what he'd think of you for seeing hallucinations of his half-brother.

"You can tell me anything, Tarnished." He says, but you're certain your next words to come from your mouth will deem you in his eyes as one marked with insanity. Maybe pledging a deal to the Frenzy Flame would've been a better idea than this. "What troubles your mind?"

"I..." you swallow a thickness in your throat, and your heart hammers, "What would you do if you were seeing the ghost of someone?"

"It depends who it was," he strokes his grey beard, "A loved one? A close friend perhaps? Who is it you see?"

"The long-dead form of Prince Godwyn."

Ansbach takes a long pause, though it seems, he's not surprised by your words. "You too, are plagued by a long-forgotten Lord?"

You try to dismiss your feelings about it all, the confusion still plagues your fragmented memories of the past. "It seems so. But I do not know what he wants of me, why he's coming to me to give me vague and cryptic words." You laugh to yourself wryly, "Forgive me, you must think I've lost my mind."

"Not at all, Tarnished." Ansbach's warmth in his voice does show some concern for you. "Dreams make most of us think of our realities differently. Some dream of greatness, others madness. It is what makes us. St. Trina traverses in our minds, giving us the path ahead."

St. Trina is not who we think she is. You scoff. She appears as a girl, and sometimes a little boy. It brings something to click in your mind. "St. Trina is seen as a little boy in dreams, a little boy who was cursed with eternal youth."

Ansbach peers at you quietly. "You think this is Miquella's doing?"

"He is oddly quiet in all of this. His followers, walk his path and we hear nothing of it. Why did Leda ask me to find Messmer? If not from her, it was from Miquella." You think. She asked that you had to deal with him, which could mean they needed something from his corpse. Could it have to do with his curse?

Ansbach sighs whilst you think, endless mutterings are ceased as you turn back to him. For the first time since meeting him, he looks... terrified. "Tarnished, I ask this of you carefully. Miquella is not what you think he is."

"I'm aware. If not for his loyal devotees and changing identities, Miquella is more cunning than we think."

"Are you aware that he had been Mohg's consort?"

Did he have a choice? You question. "Mohg desired him for greatness."

"No, he did not," Ansbach's voice is gravely low, "he did not even need Mohg in the long run. It was his body he needed."

You squint your eyes at his words, "What do you mean his body?"

Ansbach gives a weary sigh, resuming, "The Lord of Blood was merely a diversion to Miquella's schemes. It was not Mohg who needed Miquella but Miquella in search of a vessel, a consort to call his own."

"It was Mohg who stole Miquella though? He was his consort."

"That is what is known and what is falsehood, Tarnished. It is Kindly Miquella who twists and warps our reality, our bonds, our love." That's impossible. You tell yourself: another ploy for Miquella's allies, but what if they too, had been swayed by his twisted games?

"What of Mohg?" He was another of the Demigods who felled by my hands. "He has been... dealt with."

"Aye, but do you recall where his body lies?"

Your heart thunders deeply, your skin feels as if it's sticking to your clothes. "Last time I checked, still where I remember."

"His body was missing from the Mohgwyn Palace."

No, this can't be. "You're saying-"

"Miquella is using it for a greater purpose, even better than his mother's."

Your thoughts are racing but you only have one person on your mind. "So, when Leda asked that I dealt with Messmer-"

"She meant for you to bring back his flame, his kindling."

It feels as if the ground tilts you, your world seems to be spinning with questions that are screaming over the others to be answered. There is no way of knowing if they can be, but all you can think of is Messmer; who broods in his Keep unaware of the danger he's in.

"Tarnished," Ansbach grabs you by the arm to pull you back. You don't realise you've turned away from him, walking with a purpose to find the Lord of the Keep and set things right. To tell him everything. "Miquella is a monster, who must be stopped."

"I know," you whisper so low that you don't recognise your own voice, "but what I am if I cannot get Messmer to heed my warnings?"

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The door to your bedchambers shudder as it collides with the stone-brick wall, groaning as you barge through. You're keen on finding weapons, armour, anything to help you in this fight. It was enough playing coy and hiding in the Keep, it was time you had to face Miquella and whatever vestige he had made of Mohg's body.

The wind is dead as you rush around the apartments, with no luck finding anything useful to you. You felt useless: running around without decent clothing, no food packed or no idea how you'd find what you were looking for.

You're so wrapped up in your little mind, that you don't seem to spot that the room has grown cold spots, and the outside world diminishes into darkness. Candles blow out themselves as you scramble to the wardrobe when you notice. You know something is in the room with you: the air is so silent that you cannot concentrate on your breathing. 

You wring your eyes shut before a ghostly hand plays with your curls from behind you.

"Show yourself, Godwyn."

You spin around on your heel to face the monster head-on, coming face to face with the golden eyes you had grown to despise, to fear. "Now, where are thee running off to?" He toys with you as if you're his plaything, coyly smiling down on you as if nothing is the matter.

You clench your jaw as well as your fists. "I will not play your games, Godwyn," you dryly laugh, "or shall I say St. Trina? Or how about Miquella?"

The golden prince plays docile with your confrontation, a victim in your outburst. He keeps some distance between you two for now. "Always playing the knight, aren't thee?" 

"I am stopping Miquella." You don't have a weapon, but you're not afraid to fight him -or whatever this thing was- dirty. "Step aside. I will not ask you again."

"He hates thee. For speaking ill of his mother." Godwyn says, his voice is honeyed and sweet but his words are sinister. You know exactly who he's talking about and it frightens you to your core how he knows. "Why would he wish to be with thee?"

"He shouldn't," you answer, though you try to hide the pain in your voice, "he does not need to forgive me at all. All I want is to set things right. Not be seen as a lowly Tarnished that no one can trust."

"But that's all thee art," Godwyn says as he circles you, "A lightless creature, devoid of love, and compassion, afraid to even seek simple friendships without knowing it will end in heartache."

You shut your eyes, but even still, you can feel his presence. "You are not here. Get out of my head." You hiss.

"Spat out over and over again to live and die." His words echo like the chiming of bells in your head.

"You are dead. You are not here to torment me."

"I died the day thee didst." You feel his hand ghost over the nape of your neck, gracing your jawline as you feel his cold breath on your skin. You grimace from the deathly touch. "T'is why thee feel such guilt. Thee wished thee hadst stayed."

You blink back the tears when you open your eyes, finally facing him. "It never would've happened. Not then, and not now." You begin to bend your knees slightly, positioning yourself as if ready to fight. "Will I have to get through you?"

It seems his mask finally slips. No longer playing the charismatic eldest son that you could remember, nor the one who could win anyone over, he stares down at you with the coldest eyes, unfeeling and detached. He is quiet for once, and what feels like forever, neither of you speak, his soulless eyes bore into your soul, with no warmth, no love. 

Finally, he answers you, but it is not his voice anymore, no, it's the voice of many. "No," he sighs, before he catches you off guard, by grabbing your face, pain erupting from the contact. "Let me aid thee."

Your scream seems to be cut off, your body is pushed through complete darkness, flying like a ragdoll through matter of space with no stopping. Your head hurts from where his hand came into contact with you, similar to thousands of tiny needles piercing your skin all at once.

The spinning finally stops, you think, and when you blink, you're not in the apartments of the Shadow Keep, but rather in the middle of a field, surrounded by bodies of millions. You look down at your clothing, surprised to find yourself once again in Leyndell armour. The armour feels heavy on you as if trying to weigh you down.

You squint over the horizon of corpses to see what stares back at you: Godwyn in his full glory and what would've been him in his prime. Dressed decadently in the finery of golds and blues. He carries his infamous halberd as he stalks his way towards you. His face has morphed into something you don't recognise as being him anymore, gone is his fine flaxen hair, now a dull faded hue. His face is half covered by his hair, but you can only see one eye staring back at you: white with black sclera.

"I will not fight you, Godwyn!" You scream, but your words fall quiet with the roaring of his armour clanking as he charges, weapons clashing with a force that you're almost knocked to the ground.

Godwyn fights with the strength of his father, weaving to knock you back as you can only dodge his swings and stabs. Some get you in the joints, but you're not expecting the pain that comes from them. They burn with a far greater pain than should come from a stab or slice. You grimace, and a wave of weakness takes over you, sudden that you almost fall to the ground. You try to compose yourself, pulling back the layers of protection to stare down in horror. Your skin protrudes with black veins, spreading further across your flesh. 

Death blight. You have experienced it before, but not to this strength. More stabs from him and it will be an instant end. You would rather not be stuck in an endless life-death cycle with the Golden-haired prince, not when you needed to get out of this dream-like state.

You dodge another swing, narrowly missing as he strikes a corpse instead. Think, think! This simply is all an illusion! Remain calm! You tell yourself, avoiding more hits as you try to concentrate on where you should be. My chambers, the Shadow Keep. 

From behind Godwyn, like a mist in the air, it dissolves to reveal that you're surrounded by a veil of delusions. Now! You roll out the way, running as fast as you can to reach the broken part of the veil. Your body feels weakened from the death blight, but it's enough for you to reach for your escape.

You crash through darkness once again, with no Godwyn to be seen. You look around yourself for his sudden appearance, finding no sight of him. Feeling some relief, you think how will you escape this next illusion. Your breathing echoes as you're standing in a large chamber, your footsteps the sounds you hear.

You're ready to call out when something catches your peripheral: a small dim light, glowing softly. An escape! You draw in close to it, like a moth to the flame, and you follow until you come across a room you recognise. There are candles dimly glowing in the room, giving a dark blue-ish hue to the room. It's cold, colder than you think it would be. You look around yourself when it dawns on you.

This is where you first fought Messmer. Everything looks exactly how you remember it to look, and you swear you must've traversed the entire keep to reach here under some spell. You're about to call out for someone, hoping that this was all some way of testing your patience when something else catches your gaze. Marika's statue stares down at you, coddling the clothed babe of Messmer in her arms. However, it is the figure that lies just by the statue's feet.

Walking cautiously closer, you hear the softest of whimpers, sobbing. It is when this figure at closer inspection seems familiar. You see a little boy, with hair so red that it looks so similar to burning flames. Serpents curl around him as he lies beneath Queen Marika's intense stony gaze. He looks up at her with an innocent look, his eye glassy and golden as the seal that holds the twisted one inside glows. "O prithee," you hear his tiny voice, "let me see mine mother again."

"Messmer." You call out to him, running to reach him. The boy does not seem to spot you, still, he watches his mother's statue like a loyal hound, hoping for her return. "Messmer!" You don't seem to be getting any closer to him, seeingingly, the room grows larger and darker, and his small body seems to grow smaller and smaller the closer you move.

It's when you hear the many voices again, all burning in your mind with a screech that you collapse to the ground. Bastard born. Corrupted one of ill-making. You push to stand, looking around you to find no sight of anyone but young Messmer. He has still not spotted you, so intently focused on his mother that he does not hear your screams of agony and your shouts to gain his attention.

The voices grow in numbers until you think your head will explode. No, I must save him. You tell yourself, pushing forth as you take painful steps towards the red-haired child. 

"It wasn't your fault she left!" You shout into the void, and it's only with that, Messmer's little head perks up, his golden eye wide in fear. Looking around him, you know you must try again. "You are not the monster you think you are. You are far greater than any of her wishes, her goals. All-- all you wanted was your family, your life, and you got sent away."

Messmer is still scanning the room, his fearful look is slowly melting with some semblance of hope. You try reaching for him, despite the screams, the agony and the death blight. "Messmer." You call to him softly. "Messmer, please." You call again, and it's with this clearer call that his eye locks with yours. They don't look at you with fear or hatred, no shock.

You wonder if this is your sin, replaying to you over and over again your mistakes. Dying to relive it all.

A tear slips down your face as you smile over to him. "Forgive me."

It is with those two words that you realise the ringing has stopped, the screaming and voices have ceased. You think you know of peace, as you blink and find yourself back where you were before. In the comfort of your chambers, pressed into a wall with the confusion of everything melting away from your mind.

You think you can finally breathe a sense of relief when you notice that there is no silence in the Keep. There is a distant sound of something, constant and growing larger in sound and numbers.

You move to the window, surprised to see nothing, but only when you hear more that joins with the sounds of what sounds like a stampede. The ringing of a bell. The shouts of soldiers from afar. The sound of burning wood.

"Messmer." Your heart leaps from your chest. You have no idea where he could be, nor do you know how long you've been stuck in that spell. You look down at your simple clothing: you cannot change in time to reach him, and you don't want to imagine what carnage awaits.

They knew to distract me. How did they know to find me here? You wish to answer, but you don't know yourself. You look back from the door to the window, and an idea comes to mind. I do hope Messmer isn't too angry about what I must do.

Bypassing the idea of using the door, you find the heaviest item you can: a candle holder, a book, the vanity if you can muster to pick it up, smashing each thing against the window, until it causes the vanity to show some signs of cracks. A small opening is all you need as you use your elbow to smash through the rest, glass sticks into your skin as you bleed, but you continue until the opening is large enough to slip a hand through.

You crack the window open, and you hurry to climb through. A gust of wind greets you and reality hits you with how high your chambers were above the Keep. The barren wasteland greets you below, and you contemplate if you have lost your mind.

No time to think. You tell yourself, as you shuffle your way along the thin edge. Jump.

With no time for cold feet, you release yourself from the wall you're holding, pushing yourself as far away from the rooftops as you begin to plummet. You know where you will end up, and where you will find yourself when you wake up.

The sky grows smaller the quicker you fall, but the noise surrounding the Keep grows, a commotion festers, a siege. 

You shut your eyes as you brace for what waits, hoping you're not too late to find him.

-

A/N: I do like to imagine Tarnished is a "ask questions later, got to leap off this building first, see where I land" type of gal. I do love writing feral, himbo women, and I can only imagine Messmer may have a type growing when he sees her again.