#Jason Todd x reader angst

[baguettesandbows]

4

tw!! talk and show of pill addiction.

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https://docs.google.com/document/d/1-A756u-0PdmBkb7qv8wzsCYWRKwdeICoUvSlrfOYzW4/edit

You stared at the bag of pills Anna’s friend had given you.

Nightmares had started to haunt you. Worse than before Arkham. Your evidence, having not seen it physically in years, suddenly filled your mind at every turn.

Nightly, you’d throw up into a pail that they had given you. Obviously, seeing a nurse wasn’t an option in Arkham, especially with the low staff count. And you wouldn’t even try to meet with your new physiatrist.

You realized that after more of the guards were fired, breakouts happened more often. Of course, they were more on the lower levels. Villains that had already escaped before.

You didn’t attempt to break out because one, you were not strong enough. Whether that was the point or not, Arkhams food didn’t supply you a great deal of protein.

Two, because you didn’t know where you’d go. You couldn’t leave Gotham, not if Jason came back. But you also knew Bruce would find you instantly, so it wasn’t an option.

Plus, with the fear has supposedly breaking out in places, you didn’t want to be in the streets of Gotham exactly.

Fuck, where were you? Right, the pills.

You think you’ve gotten addicted. You cant sleep without them, cant go through Arkhams day without them, and you classify that as maybe addiction.

You’d have to get off of them before Jason comes back. If he knew..

You didn’t want to disappoint him the moment he steps back into Gotham.

A loud bang of metal on metal makes you grab your baggie and shove them in your sweatsuit. Anna had slid your door open, grinning ear to ear.

“Me and Steph are gettin’ out.” She said, showing her baton she had stolen, waving it around. “You comin?”

You shook your head. You had gotten invitations like this all week.

“I’m waiting for someone.” You mumble. Anna scrunches her nose and points the baton at you.

“No man is worth stayin’ here, Reader.” She says. Noticing you staying on your bed, she sighs and lowers the baton. “Thanks for the baked goods, neighbor.”

She’s off down the hallway before you can even look.

An explosion sounding noise wakes you up.

The ground thumped under you. Your bare feet could feel the vibrations of many footsteps. Suddenly, your pills look more and more appetizing.

You walk to your window, before looking for something to stand on. You quickly grab the bottom of your night table and pull it over to the window with a grunt.

You step up onto the nightstand, and balancing on it, you peer over the stone bricks and look through the metal bars.

Prisoners left and right are practically rushing out of Arkham. You assume a large hole had been blown in, since you don’t remember an exit being there.

In the middle of the rushing crowd of patients, you notice red wearing men directing them. Most of the patients don’t listen, but some follow the orders.

That’s when you see him.

The iron man. The metal man. Robotic man? No, Knight man.

Fuck, these pills were making you crazy.

All you could think of is Anna telling you something about the new villain in Gotham.

You peer closer, trying to get a better view, but the metal bars stop you from looking out too much.

Whoever the man was, clearly held power over the red wearing men. He directed them angrily, and if you weren’t drugged out of your mind, you’d question why he’s at Arkham.

Until the man, without warning- looks up at your window, his mask staring directly at you.

“What the fu-“

Your ass hits the floor as you fall backwards, having lost your balance by the man’s contact.

You scramble to your feet and quickly try to move the nightstand back in the spot, before climbing onto it and looking out the window again.

The man’s gone- yet the red wearing men are still adamantly ordering around the patients.

You sigh of relief, telling yourself the man didn’t actually see you staring directly at him. You get off the nightstand, shivering when you feel your feet touch the cold floor. You grab a baguette to arm yourself, and walk over to the door, sliding it open.

It was left unlocked the day before, when Anna had broken out it seems.

You scrunch your nose and slide it back closed, trying to lock it, when a much stronger hand rips the door open.

You practically stumble back from the strength, your arm sore from being pulled along with the door. You take a couple steps back before remembering what you were holding and aiming it at the doorway.

“Don’t- don’t come in! I have a weapon.. and.. i’m not afraid to lose it!”

Jeez, did you slur that much yesterday?

You wince when loud, incredibly loud footsteps walk in, and you close your eyes, bracing for impact- or for something.

“Jesus-“ A click, and a hissing is heard. A loud slam of metal against your floor makes you flinch, your body jolting at the noise and vibration. You open your eyes, ready to threaten the stranger-

“Jason?”

[messenger-of-babel]

Home is Where the Heart is

Summary: You could never tell what Jason was thinking, and this particular night he has a lot on his mind. (Jason Todd x reader)

Word Count: 2.0K

Notes: Mini vent- had a bad day and this week has been really tough so I’m changing up the layout of today as well so I could put out a fic that was a little easier on my mind (I always need to have more pep in my step when I write for my lanterns idk why haha. So sorry Kyle my baby I want to do you justice so you're on backburner). It was indeed written to Ed Sheeran on loop cause I needed to lock in fr. ❤️❤️

Enjoy Lovelies~! xx

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When Jason looked at you, you often wondered what he was thinking.

What was passing through his mind that made his irises gleam that brilliant shade of emerald or let the natural curve of his smile adored his face. However, every time that you asked he just blew his hair from his eyes gruffly, but let the smile stay. "That's a secret," he'd say before his hand would pull you to kiss side and he'd press a soft kiss on your forehead.

It was a little known fact that the Red Hood was in fact Jason Todd, but it was known to even less that Jason Todd was actually a romantic at heart. Sure, he had a mouth on him, and he was on the receiving end of your hand up the back of his head more often than he wasn't. But he was also the quiet kind of clingy, the kind that would never ask to hug you or initiate contact, but would stay up so he could have your back pressed against his chest the second you slipped into bed. He'd laugh when you brushed the hair out of his eyes, the scar on the corner of his mouth unable to stop his boyish grin. It was those moments in your kitchen that made you think that maybe, just maybe, your life was all normal.

You knew it wasn't.

When your fingers brush against his forehead you know that the white tuft in his hair was a painful reminder of his death, the scar on his lips you so lovingly kissed caused by the very man who had killed him. His hands were littered with small scars from blocking knives and protecting his head from glass instead of childhood memories of climbing trees. His back was a canvas of white slashes that intersected in a map-like pattern, a surface already so touched that the symmetrical red lines you left seemed less stunning in comparison. Legs sporting burn marks, bruises permanent along his ribs; that was the Jason that you knew. So even if some days you pretended that he was some ordinary civilian like yourself, you still loved Jason with all your heart.

On this particular night he had come home from patrol, sitting on the kitchen counter while you patched him up. You had been a pretty awful field doctor the first time you offered, but he braved through your prods and pokes with a wince. He didn't say anything about the way you wrapped the bandages too loosely or that you had forgotten some antiseptic and had given the wrong type of topical painkiller. Jason could see the worry on your face, so he leant forward and kissed your forehead tiredly, thanking you with a soft murmur.

You didn't need to know when he slunk off the bathroom to rewrap the bandages, or when he reapplied ointment in the right area. He picked glass out of his own skin when you missed some, letting the shards clatter down the sink. All that consumed him was the thought of how soft you were when you handled him, when you passed the bandage around his middle, or when you tried to clean the wound with as little antiseptic as possible to try and prevent the stinging. He normally hated having to doctor himself up, meaning that even the smallest of injuries tended to scar under his negligence. Yet with you he had been ashamed of the scars, hyper aware of how your eyes lingered on them. More so, how other people stared at them when you were out together. So, for months he spent nights in the bathroom redoing the handiwork you insisted so passionately on learning, just so that there wouldn't be a scar you could blame yourself for later.

You were absolutely perfect, so there was no reason that he couldn't be for you too.

You had become better though, and that was through the help of Alfred. Now you had patched him up efficiently and tightly, patting his hip affectionately when you pull the bandage tight. "Almost done," you smile up at him, fingers pulling the end of the bandage tight and reaching for a bandage clip. "Just got to secure it and you'll be good to go."

He smiles and drops a tired kiss to your skin as usual, pulling your fingers away when you’re done so he can raise them to his lips. "Thanks, darl." he grins, eyes tired but grin still lively as ever. He slides off the counter to wrap his hands around your waist, kissing your nose. You just huff and give him a side glance, arms circling his neck without hesitation.

"What's got you all worked up?" you ask with a light laugh when he’s overly affectionate with you, making Jason groan and drop his head into your hair.

"Just tired." he mumbles. "Bruce pissed me off again today, started lecturing me on the way home."

"Bruce pisses you off most days." you chide. "How did you ever escape the lecture?" you chuckle, moving with him as he begins to sway.

"I turned the commlink off and came up through Southside Gotham so he couldn't follow me." he grins.

There it was.

"There's always something with you, isn't there?" you shake your head, beginning to spin around with him softly in the candlelight. He laughs, and you imagine it’s the sound of a young boy finally getting to live life normally again.

"Always is, babe. you know me." he chuckles, and his eyes flutter over to the candles you have on the counter. It was always dark when he came home normally, and in his tired state he hadn't questioned it. After all, his family worked best in the dark.

"Power outage at the moment?" he asks.

"Power got cut off." you murmur back with a sigh. "We missed last payment. Only a few days, but you know how quick they jump on those these in Gotham. It's all paid up now, but it'll take a day or two to get back. Cold things from the freezer are in the washing machine with the ice blocks."

He hums, stroking a hand up and down your back. "You're well prepared. Sorry for making you deal with them, I'll handle it next time, I promise."

Jason hated using Bruce's money.

Not only was it something that sat bitter in his mouth ever since he had come back, but he didn’t need it. Dick had also rejected it and moved to Bludhaven, and even though he'd never admit it, Jason respected the way he managed to build a home for himself there. He wanted to do that too, and he could do it damn well by himself. He still took some money, but it was no more than a wage from Bruce. He considered protecting Gotham his job, and he wasn't stupid. He wasn’t going to let his pride get in the way of helping you both live. He hated to see you stress about finances, but you never asked him. You never asked him to reach out to Bruce for more or reach out to Bruce yourself.

The first time rent had gone up it had nearly priced the both of you out of the cozy apartment you lived in, and you had been in tears for days trying to find a second job to cover the expenses. Yet you didn’t come begging for Bruce's assistance, no. You looked at him with those teary eyes and asked him to help make a budget with you so you could figure a way out, and you did. You were the most resilient person he knew, the most resilient person he loved.

He held you closer as he spun you softly around the kitchen.

You were going to need to be resilient.

He inhaled the scent of your shampoo and let his arms bask in the warmth of you. Your skin against his made the thrumming in his side ease and the headache blistering behind his eyes subside. As you relaxed against him, his head raced of all the ways that he could tell you. Tell the most perfect being that had ever walked into your life that he was leaving, and not only that, he was going to have to break your heart on the way out.

He cursed Bruce. He cursed Bruce for making enemies that had cunning greater than his own, for dragging him into the mess he had created. He had yelled and spat and screamed at the older man until his voice resonated off the cave walls, storming from the cave after tonight's fight. Bruce had asked the impossible of him, after they both got their asses handed to them in a surprise attack. They had taunted Bruce, not the Batman, and had enough evidence to bring Bruce's world and carefully hidden persona crumbling down around him. It just so happened that they had enough to bring Jason's down as well.

They knew about you.

Pictures of you had fluttered down towards him, filling him with an indescribable sense of fear. As hard as they fought, they had let the new visitor of Gotham's nightlife slip through their fingers and Bruce had asked him to break up with you not a second later. There was no empathy, there was no kindness or waiting for it to sink in for him.

But there never was.

In that moment Bruce was Batman, but Red Hood had been the scared Jason Todd.

How did he tell you that he wanted to break up when that was the furthest thing from the truth? That he would walk through hell barefoot and dunk himself in the Lazarus pit again if that mean that you were still there to warm his bed at night? How could he tell you that he didn't love you when his heart ached to tell you it every time he got the courage? He could play the tears, play the part of a sad breakup. That part was easy, considering how this was shaping to be one of the hardest things he'd ever had to do. It was the rage that he couldn't muster, for once. Rage was something that he saved for the streets, a place already so crime ridden and scummy that his bitterness and anger were practically masked under the filth. It wasn't a place for your home, the little shelter the both of you had carved out of Gotham with your own two hands.

So, he spun you around the room, eyes watering with tears yet to shed as he thought about how to let you go. He knew you wanted to stay, and that made his heart ache in return. It was like losing a part of him that hadn't even been lost yet, a void already forming in his chest. He sniffled lightly and thankfully you didn’t hear or notice his arms squeezing tighter, as if to imprint the feeling of you against his body. He tried to tell himself it was only a temporary thing, that he could explain it all to you later when the threat was done. That thought often lost against the conjured image of your heartbroken eyes his mind created to torture him, and the persistent thought that you'd probably never want to see him again when he was about to break your heart so violently.

You don't notice something is wrong until the first tear hits your hair, silently giving way to more. You notice the slight shake in his arms and the tension still wound in his body. Normally the stiffness in his muscles flowed out of him like water when he stepped over the threshold of the house, but not tonight.

"What are you thinking about?" you ask softly, pressing into him to try and comfort him, your heart panging in confusion at his strange behaviour.

Jason would never tell you, but when he looked at you he wondered what the rest of your life together would look like, and if you'd ever considering changing your name to 'Todd'.

[fcthots]

Can I request 27. "I'm going to carry you, okay?" with an angsty dash of 5. "You don't have anything to be sorry for." please?

You shouldn't have been out.

You should have never left your apartment, especially not in the middle of the night, especially when Jason didn't know you left, but you just wanted to go on a short walk, but one wrong turn turned your short walk into a very long one.

You could hear a few things: the beating of your heart, the sound of your feet hitting the ground as you ran, the sound of their feet running after you, shouting from behind you.

"Get your ass back here or I swear to God, we're gonna fucking kill you!"

Fuck. You just had to go on a walk to clear your head. You just had to get lost. You just had to forget your phone. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

You were running so hard you could barely breathe. You were faster than them, but not by much, and you couldn't keep it up. You were terrified, shaking, slightly crying. You tried screaming, but no one came. You were lost, alone, scared, and being chased. You wished more than anything that you never left your apartment. You wished you just called Jason to calm down, but you didn’t want to bother him. Regret. Regret. Regret.

You've basically run in one big circle, trying to get anywhere near your apartment, but you were so lost. That street sign, though was familiar, but more than that you had passed it before; something else.

Oh.

Oh no.

You knew the name on that street sign because Jason was telling you about it earlier

...in reference to a trafficking case.

Your heart sank. Their footfalls match the erratic beating of your heart. You were tired. You couldn't keep this up forever and they knew the territory. It seemed you were at every disadvantage.

You turned a corner. You had this one chance to lose them. You use all of your remaining energy to run into the gap between the closed down corner store and apartment complex,

and promptly trip on the uneven concrete. Yeah, you pulled something.

And with your absolutely stellar luck, you picked the one alley that was a dead end.

"Fucking finally. Nowhere to run now. I think we should take our time with this one. She made us waste all that time chasing her, what's a little more?"

You open your mouth to beg for your life, but the words won't come out. You try to get up but you collapse again. You use your good leg to move yourself against the wall.

The three men laugh as they slowly approach you, taunting you. They smile and joke at the tears you didn’t notice were falling. You try to think of any possible escape route, but come up empty. One pulls out a gun and you try not to look at it.

"You really thought you could just run away, huh?"

"You can scream as loud as you want. No one is coming."

The third man laughs. "Don't say that. The screaming is fucking annoying."

They get closer to you and you feel the sweat trickle from your hairline.

Everyone's heads turn when there's a loud thud outside the alley.

You aren't exactly focused on it, but it makes them temporarily stop, so you're thankful for it.

"Marcus, go check it out."

"Fuck you. Why do I have to it?"

"Be louder, why don’t you? Quit being a bitch and go."

'Marcus' leaves with a string of curses. The attention is turned back to you again, with impatient smiles and twisted laughter, but not for long.

They make it about two more steps before Marcus yells and there's a crunch and thud.

The two men stop dead in their tracks. Communicating as if with eye contact, one nods, and the other begins to walk slowly along the wall of the alley with his gun raised until he turns the corner. While the first man tries to split his attention between you and his friend, his friend screams.

The last man turns towards you. He rushes forward in an attempt to grab your arm, presumably to drag you, but he never gets that chance.

There is a loud thunk to the back of the man's head before he's on the floor. You look up and see a red helmet.

You don’t think you've ever been happier to see that shiny red.

"Hey, it's ok. It's just me. I wasn't gonna let anything happen to you, I promise. You're safe now."

You try to say his name as he rushes over to you but it comes out as more of a pathetic and terrified whimper.

"Are you hurt?"

You nod your head and watch him freeze.

"Where?"

You drag your leg out from underneath you. He sighs in relief. His shoulders hunch forward, his forehead knocking against yours. He lands a helmet kiss there.

"C'mon. Let's get you home. I'm going to carry you, okay?"

Before you could even think about attempting to reply, he has you scooped up in his arms. He takes a deep breath in and out and locks eyes with you.

"You ok?"

"no fatal injuries"

He hums in acknowledgement. The walk is quiet. Too quiet. You don’t remember most of the walk. The adrenaline wearing off was making you tired, but Jason's silence concerned you. You shouldn't have gone out alone, it was dumb, but you couldn't handle a fight with Jason right now. That's probably why he was being quiet, he’s mad at you, but knows you don’t wanna fight. He was being so sweet, but to be honest all you wanted was comfort. You can't take him being distant right now.

Fuck it. You can't take it anymore.

"I'm sorry."

He stops on the outside of you apartment complex's elevator, moving to look at you.

You open your mouth to speak again but he cuts you off. "You don't have anything to be sorry for."

"Aren't you mad?"

"I could never be mad at you."

"But you're being all silent."

"I thought you'd want space. Do you not?"

"...no... I want comfort..."

"Alright. And I'm not mad at you. Never mad at you. That wasn't your fault, ok? I was brooding just now because I was scared at the thought of losing you. I love you. So much."

"I love you too."

[lunasfics]

Ghost of You - Jason Todd

summary: In which Jason Todd does what he thinks is best, and you’re left to pick up the pieces he left behind.

pairings: Jason Todd x f!reader

warnings: mention of canon typical violence, angst, cursing

word count: 1k

a/n: i would like to apologize in advance for this one 😭😭 i was in an angst type of mood, i hope you like it!! - luna <3

reblogs are appreciated!!

You didn’t sleep most nights. 

Sometimes you felt the ghost of his fingers trailing lazy patterns on your arm the way he used to love to do. Sometimes you’d dream that you were in bed and he was there sleeping next to you. In those dreams you took the opportunity to watch him, memorizing every detail of his face. Every scar. The small movements of his nostrils as he breathed peacefully. You’d remember the feeling of his rough hands holding you so gently. Like he was terrified of breaking you. 

But then you’d wake up to the cold empty space beside you, nothing but unwashed linen sheets filling the space because you didn’t want to wash away the scent that remained. The scent of him. 

Sometimes, when you’d first wake up, still groggy from your slumber, you’d think Jason was in the kitchen fixing up your favorite breakfast. Like he always did on lazy mornings. Only he was never there. Not anymore.

It was stupid. It was so stupid. The way you still thought about him. The way he just gave up. The way he thought he had control over what was best for you. 

And you were heartbroken. But you were also angry. 

So, so angry. 

You’d told him. You’d told him over and over that being with him was your decision, that risking your safety was never even a question for you when it came to being with him. You knew you’d always turn out okay, as long as you had him by your side. 

Yet he never seemed to listen. 

It’s been two weeks. Two weeks of replaying that night over and over in your head. It was torture. 

“Jason-” 

“No. Do not even try to justify anything that just happened Y/n.” 

You paused. He never called you by your first name. Never.  You tried not to focus on it. “I’m not. But you need to know that it wasn’t your fault-” 

“Are you fucking kidding me? Of course it was my fault, do you honestly think Black Mask would just kidnap you for fun? Are you that naive to think that you were not put at risk today because your boyfriend is the fucking Red Hood?” He dragged a hand over his face, he was pacing. His hands were shaky. You could have died. It would have been his fault had he not arrived when he did. 

“I am not naive, Jason. I am a grown woman and I knew damn well what I signed up for when I fell in love with you. I’m not afraid of this. I’m not afraid of anything as long as I’m with you.” 

He laughed dryly, “Bravery and the power of love won't keep you alive, Y/n. I can’t lose you. I can’t be the reason you get hurt.” 

“You never have been and you never will be. Just– Please. I need you to understand that.” Your voice cracked, your eyes welling with tears, what he didn’t understand is it hurt you so, so much to see him in pain. You couldn’t lose him either. And he was constantly risking his life, you’d almost lost him far too many times. 

He turned away from you. He couldn’t see you cry right now. He needed the shred of strength he had left to protect you. For good. 

He turned to you, “I’ve been a selfish piece of shit my whole life. And I can’t– Fuck. I can’t keep putting how I feel first at the expense of your safety. You deserve a normal life. Not whatever the fuck I dragged you into.” 

“Jason. What the fuck are you saying right now.” You didn’t want to believe it. 

He didn’t look at you. He knew the moment he looked into your tear-filled eyes he’d take it back instantly. He’d apologize, bring you you to bed and hold you, peppering your face with sweet, gentle kisses. He’d drag you right back into the cycle he’d trapped you in.

You wished he would. 

“Jason.” 

“I’m leaving, Y/n. You need someone who can take care of you. Who can give you what you deserve. I have to let you go.” 

“Are you shitting me? I want you. No one else. This is not your decision to make.” 

He started walking towards the door. “I’m sorry.”  He refused to turn around, his eyes filling up with tears as he walked further towards the door, his hand on the doorknob. 

“I want you to know that right now, you, Jason Todd, are hurting me more than anyone else ever could.” 

There was a pause before he turned the doorknob, opening it and stepping out. “You’ll survive.” 

That was the last time you spoke to him. 

Over and over. The memory replayed in your mind. Every night you dreamed of him, you dreamed he never left, that he had put aside his own pride and just listened to you. That he had just let you be there for him. 

You had no idea where he was. You were constantly looking at your phone. Constantly. Waiting, hoping that you’d get a call from him, telling you he was sorry. That he wanted to come back to you. That you’d make it work.

But it never came. And deep down, you knew it wouldn’t. 

So every day you tormented yourself with dreams of him. Thoughts of him. Remembering the feeling of his arms snaking around your waist as you made your morning coffee. The feeling of him plopping his tired body onto yours after a long day, running your fingers through his hair as he laid his head on your chest. 

No thermal or weighted blanket provided the warmth and the security that he did. No pillow you hugged felt as comforting as hugging him did. No comedy you watched was as funny as when you watched it with him. No jacket you owned was as warm as the one he would drape over your shoulders while you were out together and it started to get cold. 

You lived with constant reminders that he was gone. Constant echoes of his previous presence. 

You could only hold on to the ghost of him that remained in your cold apartment. 

[n0cturn4]

Restlessness

Character: Jason Todd x Reader Summary:Despite several attempts—on a rooftop, in a secret base, and in the car—their fear always holds them back. Word Count:1039 Music: falling for u (feat. mxmtoon)

“Jason, I…” The words were a whisper in the night air, light, almost swallowed by the wind.

The first time you tried to confess was on a quiet night, with the cold wind cutting through Gotham’s streets, but Jason’s presence beside you warming everything. The two of you were standing atop a building, watching the city below, while the moon hung lonely in the sky. You looked at him, his profile traced by the silver light, and your heart raced, pounding hard, like a storm about to break.

He turned to you, his expression concerned but gentle. “What is it?”

For a moment, you were sure it was the right time. Everything seemed to align — the silence, the city, his gaze. But the fear... the fear was like an invisible hand squeezing your chest, stealing the breath from your lungs. And then, what should have been a confession turned into an empty sigh.

“I… nothing,” you lied, diverting your gaze to the city lights. “I was just thinking how things never change around here.”

And once again, you swallowed the truth, suffocated by the fear of losing what you already had.

The second attempt was even harder. At the secret base, you were taking a break, Jason cleaning his weapons with an almost meticulous focus. The soft sound of the cloth sliding over the metal echoed in the room, while you watched him from a distance. The words were there, so close to the surface, ready to explode.

You took a deep breath, walking towards him. “Jason, I… I need to tell you something.”

He looked up, surprised by your sudden seriousness. “Tell me.”

You wanted to say he was everything. That every look from him disarmed you, that every smile, as rare as it was, lit up your world. But the fear of losing everything you already had was like a constant shadow.

“I… was thinking of ordering pizza. Do you want some?”

Jason shrugged, and you felt the crushing weight of another missed opportunity, once again. The silence that followed was no longer comfortable; it was a bitter reminder of what you didn’t have the courage to say.

The third time was during a training session. You were both exhausted, sweat dripping down your faces, breathing heavily. But in the middle of that physical exhaustion, there was a closeness that made your heart beat even faster. Jason always had an overwhelming presence, but in the moments when he looked at you, unguarded and sincere, you could almost feel the world stop.

Between laughs and exchanged blows, you saw the opportunity. “Jason, I think that…”

He raised an eyebrow, the playful smile he rarely showed lighting up his face. “Are you going to tell me you’re in love with me?” he teased, not knowing how close the joke was to the truth.

Your laugh came out forced, almost painful. “Of course not.” You hid what you felt with another laugh.

Once again, the chance slipped away, like sand through your fingers.

The fourth attempt came on a quiet night, on the way back from patrol. Jason’s car cut through Gotham’s empty streets, the lights flashing quickly past the window, but your mind was racing, thinking of how to say what your heart had been screaming for so long. The sound of the tires on the asphalt, the low hum of the engine, everything seemed to conspire for a perfect moment.

“Jason, I…” The words came, hesitant but with a quiet urgency.

He glanced at you, his eyes attentive but relaxed. “Hm? You hungry? Want to stop for food?”

You closed your eyes for a moment, fighting the sense of impending failure. Once again, fear spoke louder. “No, just… I’m tired.”

And the rest of the ride was made in silence, as you wondered if you would ever have the courage.

The fifth time was the most painful. Jason was lying in a hospital bed, still recovering from a battle that had almost taken him away from you forever. You were by his side, holding his hand, and at that moment, with him so vulnerable, you knew you couldn’t wait any longer. The fear of losing him had become too real, and the weight of everything you felt was about to explode.

When he opened his eyes, weak but conscious, your heart almost stopped. “You stayed here the whole time?” he asked, his voice hoarse but full of gratitude.

“Yes,” you said, without hesitation. “Jason, I… I need to tell you something I’ve been trying for so long. And after all this… I can’t hide anymore.”

You felt tears threatening to fall, but before you could continue, the doctor entered the room, interrupting the moment. You let go of his hand, and all that remained was the heavy silence, like a door closing in slow motion.

 .

.

.

It was a strange night, after another mission. There was something in the air, something you couldn’t explain. Jason was quieter than usual, as if carrying an invisible burden. You were walking together down a deserted street, the silence between you different, almost charged with something unsaid.

Suddenly, he stopped, removed his mask, and ran a hand through his hair, seeming unsure for the first time in a long time. His gaze, usually so firm and confident, was lost.

“I… need to tell you something,” he began, his voice lower than usual, as if each word was a struggle.

Your heart leaped in your chest, but you stayed silent, waiting, the fear present once again, but now mixed with expectation.

“I’m not good at talking about this,” he continued, looking away to the ground. “But… I can’t keep pretending I don’t feel it. I… I think I’m in love with you.”

His words were like a shock, a truth you had wanted to hear for so long, but that still took you by surprise. He was vulnerable, more than you had ever seen him. Jason Todd, the man who never showed weakness, was standing there, unarmed before you.

“I know I’m not the right guy for you,” he murmured, almost as if he were apologizing. “But I can’t hide it anymore.”

You felt the world stop, the words you had rehearsed so many times disappearing from your mind. And there, in the charged silence of that unexpected confession, the two of you stood, two broken hearts trying to find a way to fit together.

[mistymisfit]

Hounds of love

Summary: Jason wakes up from a bad dream, lucky for him he's got you to make him feel better. Based on the song Hounds of love by Kate Bush (and that post I made in april)

warnings: hurt/comfort, established relationship ,I think it's gender neutral but lmk if I missed anything.

wc: 1,5k

a/n: sorry for the --summarized-- psychoanalysis class lol (this has been in my drafts since april idk why I didn't post sooner)

Jason had always yearned for love, any type of love he could get. Ever since he was a child, afraid and hiding in the dark cold streets of Gotham, he's always wanted to be loved- to be so full of love he wouldn't be able to take it anymore. But he's always been a coward, every time someone would get close enough he'd start fighting it, self-sabotaging as if he subconsciously knew he did not deserve it. His own father, his mom, his stepmother, Bruce, he'd been let down time and time again by the adults in his life supposed to protect him. If they couldn't give him what he wanted, love him, who could?

The dread, or rather the certainty he had over being unlovable shadowed over him, as much as he tried to push it down and pretend he didn't need it. His own biological parents left him, they never wanted him. The very people who were supposed to love him, he was their son. They brought him into this world, it was their responsibility. Then he'd say he didn't even like Bruce to begin with, who cares if he chose to adopt him? Who cared if he looked up to him so dearly once as a child? He had died under his care, Jason had almost everything he wanted and went ahead and ruined it-- all because he was too afraid to accept it, because he was too stubborn. You just had to go after him on your own, he'd blame himself.

Now he keeps having this recurring dream; he's being chased by something in some woods, and he keeps running. He wants to ask for help, he really does but his mouth won't open. Then he gets to a lake, takes his shoes off, throws them in the lake and takes two steps on the water. Some days that does it, he feels like the thing is no longer chasing him. But most days he wakes up before he can feel he's lost the thing chasing him.

Tonight he's holding a wounded fox in his hands, attacked by bigger animals, in the midst of escaping. The poor thing looks at him with kind, almost human, eyes. He feels its little heart pounding fast on its chest, the little animal feels familiar. He knows this fox from somewhere else. How else would it let him hold it? Why else would he stop running, too guilty to leave it alone? He feels ashamed of running away, but he has to. He's too scared to be there, he doesn't know what makes him so afraid to leave the poor animal on its own. None of this was real, there was nothing following him, he's never seen what's after him. So why couldn't he stay with the fox?

This night he wakes up sweating, agitated and with his heart kicking his ribs. He immediately kicks off the covers, and takes off his shirt when he feels the cotton starts to itch and stick to his skin. He knows he should try to calm himself down before he wakes you up, you had to be up in a few hours.

"Jay?" You slur, barely a whisper.

"Sorry my love," He apologizes, looking back to you rubbing your eyes "I'll go sleep on the couch"

"mmm, stay" you hum, still groggy with sleep but a hand of yours reaches out for him "bed's too cold"

He takes your hand in his before cuddling back next to you under the covers, limbs getting tangled together once again. And before he knows it he's got his head on your chest as you wrap your legs around him to keep him close.

"Where'd your shirt go?" You mumble, hands softly going across the expanse of his back.

"You complaining?" He teases to distract you and it works because you shake your head no with blushed cheeks. His hands sneaked under your clothes to hold you in a way that was almost a tradition now. He'd reach for your skin just to feel you there, to make sure you're safe and next to him and you weren't some hallucination he'd made up in his loneliness. If Jason had to he'd die and come again, crawling out of his coffin if it only meant he'd get to hold you like this one more time.

"Do you want to talk about it?" You ask

"About what?" He hums, too comfortable in your embrace to even be bothered with remembering what he was so stressed about.

"Why you are awake" There's a beat of silence after the sentence has come out of your mouth. The only thing that can be heard is the city's never-sleeping traffic in the distance. He doesn't want to burden you with something as measly as a dream, so what if it made him wake up in a sweat? It made no sense so he had no reason to be upset.

"Had a bad dream, wasn't really a nightmare..." He confesses after the silence." 's stupid go back to sleep"

"It's not stupid, tell me about it"

"Baby" He sighs, hoping he sounds pissed off enough for you to drop the subject.

"What? A dream can be your subconscious trying to get something you can't when you're awake"

"Mine must hate me"

"It doesn't, but it may want something youre not aware of"

"Since when do you know so much about dreams? Nerd" He teases, nuzzling his head to you. Realizing you're just as stubborn as him, he accepts defeat and tells you about his dream, "There's a thing chasing me and I'm running through some woods"

"What's the thing?" You ask

"I don't know" He scoffs, quick to dismiss it.

"Just think about it," You hike your leg higher up his waist and squeeze him closer to you if it was possible. "how did it feel?"

Tangling himself with you to the point where he can't tell where you end is where he feels like he can be vulnerable. Only when it feels like he might just become one with you he can let his guard completely down. So he sighs and takes a moment to do what you ask. He knows damn well what is after him, he's always known.

"Me, I think," He hides his face even further into your chest."my feelings"

You only hum in response, so he asks "Is it hard to love me?"

Now you understand where the dream came from. The moment he connected the thing chasing him with its meaning awoke an insecurity, something he was trying to keep buried down. So you waste no time in your reply.

"Loving someone has never come easier to me"

He finally lifts his head up, big blue eyes swelling up with tears. He looked so helpless but at the same time so full of devotion for you. He's loved, you love him, so it must mean that he can be. If he's deserving of your love, your selfless and pure love, then he's not unlovable. He kisses your jaw, and then your neck hearing a soft sigh of his name coming out of your lips. Knowing he's handed you his own heart in a silver platter, that he is yours to do as you please, Jason can rest at ease that you'd never harm him.

"Why do you ask?" You don't let yourself get distracted by his kisses.

"It's just that-" He sighs, maybe he can be vulnerable one more time with you. So he fights against the need to push you away and tries to find the right words "Don't think anyone's ever felt that with me, ever"

"Jay, your father became a henchman to provide for you," you point out, holding his face with both of your hands "Catherine raised you like her own, and believe it or not Bruce loves you, even if he's too emotionally constipated to show it"

He scoffs at that last part, blinking away the tears brimming his eyes, which, in your opinion, made them look shiny like a tainted glass panel in a church.

"Your older brother, loves you too, he calls me to see how you're doing every other week 'cause you won't answer him" You continue, "So does Alfred"

"Let's go back to sleep, okay?" He stops you; the sudden reality check is much more than what he could process at the moment. He's been so deep into his own thoughts, what he believed to be truth, that he didn't even bother to see it from a different perspective.

"You didn't even tell me what happened in your dream" You insist with a pout.

"I'll tell you tomorrow, I'm sorry I kept you up"

"I'm not" You smile, giving him a quick peck on the lips. A hand cups your cheek, making the kiss longer. You know that if he was on a better mood he would've said something along the lines of it not being a proper kiss. You giggle against his lips, and Jason just wonders how was he ever able to function without you.

[frankensteins-poet]

Ok I know that not a lot of people are gonna see this but I don't care i need help

I was reading this Jason Todd fic where the reader is friends with dick and needs a place to stay so she moves in with Jason and he always doing little things for her because he like to and reader is thanking him with little touches that have him blushing and the WORST thing happened while I was reading I ACCIDENTALLY REFRESHED MY FEED AND NOW I CANT FIND IT AND MY EYES HURT AND I NEED TO GO TO SLEEP AND I WAS JUST GETTING TO THE GOOD PART WHERE THEY WERE PROBABLY ABOUT TO CONFESS I DONT KNOW I DIDN'T FINISH IT AND I NEED HELP PLEASEEEEEEEE😭😭😭

If you see anything like this please tag me in it I'm desperate 🥺

Edit: I found it guys thank you so much🥹🥰

[starandcloud]

Birthday Cake

I'm feeling angsty right now, so have this lmao-

CW: Loss of mother, Bruce calling reader sweetheart as an affectionate fatherly nickname

TW: Reader almost has a panic attack

DC Mainlist

Mainlist

You understood fully what it was like to lose a mother, and you remembered the agonizing months after losing her. How you'd cry until your throat hurt and how your eyes would burn the morning after, you'd remember how the survivors guilt would eat you alive for years. Every now and then you still get the feeling that it was your fault. That you could've prevented her death, despite being five and your mother having a stroke. You felt like you couldn't done something to save her. But now, at the ripe age of sixteen, you realized you couldn't have. You couldn't save her, and you were fine with that. You were fine with knowing you couldn't have prevented that, and you thought you had gotten over it. Even when your father killed himself and you were put into foster care before being adopted by Bruce, you were okay with it. You knew you couldn't have stopped either death, you were a kid. What could you have possibly done? You were damn certain you were over it all, that it was just something that happened at this point. It was over a decade ago, so why would it still bother you? You answer came in the form of a small boy, only eleven, who looked so... broken down, yet angry. He looked so angry, and you knew the look all too well. When your father called you down, you thought dinner was just early. Nothing could've prepared you for this, for the guilt of your parents to rise up your spine and make you physically sick. Your eyes stayed locked on the boy as he looked up at you with eyes that should've belonged to a fully grown adult. An adult who had a job, who had kids and a home. Not an eleven-year-old child. You could feel the bile rise up your throat and you crossed your arms over your stomach, as if to hold your lunch down as you and the boy stared at each other. As if having a silent, yet mutual, understanding of what had happened to him. What he had lost.

"This is Jason, be gentle with him sweetheart. He's a similar case to you..." Your father whispered to you as he gently put a hand on your back and suddenly your sweater felt like fire and your pants were squeezing your body to tight and your feet were both on fire yet freezing as you nodded slowly. Feeling sick to your stomach yet you slowly walked forward and put your hand on his shoulder. "Come on little one," you urged, "lets get you into a room alright? Get your bed set up how you'd like and then we'll have dinner alright..?"

You softly asked as you led him towards the stairs, one hand on his back and the other holding his hand. Which he had taken it upon himself to take, gripping it in a bone crushing grasp as he silently followed you. Even through his worn-out clothes, you could feel how tense he was as you led him towards the room across from yours. You could see how his other hand gripped something in his pocket and his eyes, as emotionally worn down and sad as they were, kept looking up at you. As if he was expecting you to do something to harm him, which only made the guilt in your stomach bubble again and you gripped his hand a bit tighter. As soon as you opened the door you gently let him go and turned on the light, smiling gently as the light flooded the room. Revealing a very basic bedroom. Just a bed, nightstand, and dresser. But it was also a guest room, so there obviously wasn't going to be much in there.

"I'll be right back kiddo, alright? Gonna go see if I have any old clothes in my room. Promise I won't put you in bubblegum pink and hello kitty."

You joked with a small laugh as you looked at Jason as he wandered into the room and just stared around at everything, like he had never seen something this grand. When you left him, he was standing in the middle of the room but when you returned, he had settled onto the floor. His back pressed against the wall and his eyes observantly watching the room around him, like he was expecting danger.

"Jason," you softly called out as you knocked on the door, "I brough you some clothes. I couldn't find much, I'm sorry bud, but I found a good pair of jeans and an old t-shirt if you want it buddy?" You offered gently as you slowly stepped in, taking note of how his eyes followed you and your movements. Almost like he was scared something was going to happen. You gently shut the door before, with careful and slow movements, sitting down in front of him. Crossing your legs as you smiled gently, pushing down your own tears and panic, before setting the clothes down on the floor beside you.

"Stupid question Jason but are... are you okay..? I know that look you gave me a bit ago, I know it all too well actually, if you want to talk I'm he-" "Shut up."

He cut you off, glaring at you with icy eyes as he gritted his teeth and pushed himself against the wall more. His reactions to your closeness made you frown gently as you slowly nodded and, stood up and headed towards your door. You turned your back to him, showing a silent trust, as you walked. Just as you were about to open the door you looked back at him. "I mean it kid, I'm here, just across the hall, alright? I'll see you at dinner? Alfred is making spaghetti tonight, a request, he's really nice. Dinner is at six, in an hour." You said quietly before heading out the door, gently clicking it shut behind you, before seeking out the butler. Knowing you needed to cry your eyes dry right now.

You wandered until you found him, diligently cooking in the kitchen, and you gently knocked on the door.

"Alfred," you called out; your voice shaking slightly, "can... can I talk to you..?"

You quietly asked, your tone making him stop cooking and looking at you. A concerned look in his eyes as he wiped his hands dry and stepped towards you.

"Of course," he reassured, "what's bothering you?"

He questioned with a soft tone as you shuffled towards him and wrapped your arms tight around him, burying your face from view as your shoulders started to shake and you started to cry.

"That kid! H-He had the same look I did! I-I-I-I don't even think he's thirteen Alfred!" You sobbed out as you clung to him tighter, making him slowly hug you and wrap his arms tight around you. Pulling you into, what would typically be, a bone crushing hug as he let you sob. You weren't sure how long you cried for, but you knew dinner was late and even as you sat at the table you still looked like you were on the verge of crying again. You gently pushed your food around, not really having an appetite before small footsteps made you look up. Jason stood at the end of the table, dressed in your old t-shirt and pants as his eyes anxiously flicked around from you, to Bruce, to Alfred, then back to you. Making you slowly pull the chair next to you out and smiling softly, a silent offer for him to sit next to you. Which he hesitantly took, letting himself sink into the chair and watched as you pushed your plate towards him.

"Eat," you whispered, "you look starving kiddo."

Even with your hushed tone, honest concern and warmth seeped into your voice as you smiled warmly before you gingerly ruffled his hair and put your cup in front of him. Making him look up at you with eyes of questions and confusion, which only made you slowly shake your head. Another silent understanding between the two of you, which Bruce didn't quite seem to understand but Alfred did. He understood every look you gave and every small movement you made with the little boy beside you. Taking on a role of support for the young boy, which you had needed so desperately when you first came. Alfred had taken it upon himself to be that role for you and was relatively proud of how well he had done.

After dinner you cleaned up, not being able to sit still any longer, and found that you had a little shadow. Not that you minded, knowing you had done the same to Alfred for years, so you just let Jason follow you as you washed, dried, and put the dishes away. You let him be your shadow until you headed towards your room. To which you stopped and turned to look at him.

"Do you want me to tuck you in buddy? I'll leave the lamp on and my door open, alright?"

You offered with a strange warmth in your voice, making Jason stare up at you with furrowed eyebrows before he nodded and just stood there as you offered your hand. A soft gesture Alfred had done to you many times when Bruce had first adopted you. The butler really had rubbed off you, hadn't he? You gently led Jason into the room across from yours and gently picked him up, making him jolt and tense up as your hands went under his armpits and didn't quite relax when you put him on the bed. He just... stared up at you, as if he was experiencing this for the first time, as you tucked him in before ruffling his hair and turning the lamp on the bedside table on the lowest setting before smiling.

"I'm right across the hall, alright little man? Just come over and wake me up if you need me. It won't be a bother."

You promised as you gently gave his hand a squeeze before heading towards the door and shutting the overhead light off before leaving. Making sure you leave his door open just enough you could hear him if he got up, maybe it was just your natural instinct to protect the little ones around you. But you felt like you needed to be the support beam in his life.

The next morning, you woke up to the sun assaulting your eyes. Making you groan and pull the blanket over your face. You laid there for about ten more minutes before you forced yourself up, changing out of the clothes you slept in and into a sweatshirt and jeans. Which was really all you wore anymore, not feeling confident enough to pull off the latest fashion. You spent your morning in the library, enjoying silence and solitude when you heard a crash. Making you jolt and get up, as quickly as your body would let you that early, and headed towards the reason of the crash. When you rounded the corner, you saw Jason the ground. Books scattered about him as he glared at the bookshelf, as if it had been the reason he had fallen. It took him a moment to notice you, but when he did his glare turned to you. A scowl on his lips and his brows furrowed.

"I fell..."

He muttered, making you slowly nod.

"I can see that buddy," you said gently and slowly made your way towards him, "are you hurt?"

You softly asked, making him scoff as his gaze fell to the floor where you knelt, "no," he murmured out as you gently ran your fingers over the back of his skull. Checking for a bump before pushing hair from his face, making sure there was no gash on his face. With every touch, he flinched away and almost jolted as you checked him for any wounds. With each flinch, your concern grew. What had his life been like before this? Was he beaten or something?

"Good news little dude, I can't find any battle wounds."

You said as you smiled warmly. Your words brought a snort from him as he tried to force back a smile as he looked away from you, trying to conceal his smile. Your smile only grew as you stood up, your knees popping as you did, before you grabbed a book down and held it out to him.

"Here," you gently spoke, "it's a good book and a quick read. I think you'll like it."

You said, a soft tone in your voice as he gently reached up before snatching the book from you. Making you jump slightly as his eyes danced over the cover, a flicker of familiarity in his eyes before he forced himself up and darted away from you. Into a different corner of the library, far away from you, before you rolled your eyes gently and bent down.

"Guess I'm picking this up then."

You said, a slight fondness for the boy in your voice as you collected the books before putting them back onto the shelves, all in the respective places before you slowly made your way back to your reading spot. You plucked your book up before gently settling back into your window bench, letting the sun warm your body as you read.

It took a long while, but Jason slowly opened up to you. Spending more and more time with you, out of his room, as he stuck close to you. It had been late at night, just as you were drifting off to sleep, when he walked in. Jason stood by your bed before reaching up with a shaking hand.

"He-ey... are... are you awa-ake..?"

His voice was shaky and his words were broken up, making it hard to ignore it. You sat up and turned your lamp on, the warm glow of the light illuminated the tears in his eyes as he looked down. As if he was ashamed for coming to you.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm awake buddy. What- What's the matter?"

You asked, panic clear in your voice as you looked at him and moved over in your bed. Gently patting your sheets, inviting him to climb into bed with you. Which he took without a second thought. Jason sat on the bed before thumping against you, he curled into you and gripped your sleep shirt tightly as a quiet sob left his lips. Making you hold him tight and press a tender kiss to his head.

"It's okay," you softly promised, "you can cry darling. You're safe here, you're safe with me..."

You whispered out, holding him a bit tighter as you gently rocked the both of you. A slight British accent laced your words, most likely from Alfred, as you gently placed your chin on his head and closed your eyes. Just letting him cry, you knew he needed it. So you didn't speak again, just held him tightly as he sobbed against you. His cries shattered your heart as you squeezed your eyes shut, remembering when you sounded like that. So, broken down and sad. It brought you years back and you just held him tighter as you kissed his head again as you tried not to cry yourself.

You weren't exactly sure how long he cried, but you just kept holding him tight and rocking gently until his cries dwindled down into whimpers and soft sniffles.

"Do... Do you think she even loved me..? Like... what would she even say right now..?"

Jason's question caught you off guard, and you just sat in a stunned silence before you pulled away and stood up as you headed towards your dresser. Looking for a sweatshirt for him in the dim light.

"Well," you started as you plucked a sweatshirt from your closet and headed back to him, "it's hard to say exactly. I'm not sure what she'd say..."

Your words trailed off as you gently slipped the sweatshirt onto him and settled back onto your bed, a bit away from him as you smiled gently and took his hand.

"I didn't know your mom, but I'll let you in on a little bit of advice someone told me once."

You spoke so gently as you held his smaller hand in yours and rubbed your thumb over his knuckles, preparing yourself to bring up something that Alfred had said years ago.

"An old friend told me that things will happen, sometimes we don't like it. Sometimes we hate it, or it makes us feel like we're drowning in our own body. Or like apart of us died with them," you said with a bittersweet tone as you glanced away from Jason, "but," you said softly as you looked back at him with a warm smile, "I think she'd want you to live like the worlds on fire, and love like your heart could never break, never look down on yourself when you're feeling like it's your fault. I don't think she'd want you to regret what you could or couldn't do, I think she'd want you to pretend she made it to thirty eight and made the birthday cake she promised... I want to think she didn't want you to think that you're the only one on your team, but I'll always be on your team Jason. I'll root for you no matter what, I will back you up if you're right or wrong. Because I will always, always, be here for you little man. Alright..?"

You gently asked, softly gripping his hand, as you accidentally let your own mother's death seep into your words as you leaned forward and kissed his forehead warmly. When he wasn't crying, he usually shoved you away when you kissed his head. But this time he leaned into you, curling into your chest and stomach as you held him tight and let your eyes close as you let him be a little kid. The two of you sat in silence for a long time, you wanted to say around ten or fifteen minutes, before Jason spoke up.

"I... I love you..."

His little confession made your body tense up and your head lift, making him look up at you with terrified eyes. As if he had just said something to push you away, but instead of pulling away like he expected. You smiled gently and let one of your hands ruffle his hair affectionately.

"I love you too buddy, I love you too."

[whydoyoucare866]

The Night We Met

PAIRINGS:

Titans! Jason todd x reader

SUMMARY:

Bruce has taken in Jason Todd as his youngest son and the new robin some months ago, Bruce's goddaughter also came back to Gotham after being away for a year.

Some months after meeting Jason she starts a friends with benefits relationship with him, suddenly Jason has to move to the Titans tower and two weeks later Bruce sends her too, but, why is Jason ignoring her and acting like he doesn't know her and why does it get worse when Rose Wilson arrives to the tower??

A/N: I finally figured out a song to base this chapter off, I’m sorry I went so off with their conversation and didn’t really get anywhere with it, I just really want them to bond and I don’t think ahead of writing I just start and see where it takes me, I know this can be really boring but I want this to be a LONG fic and a slow burn and that can’t happen if the whole plot happens in two chapters so bare with me please!

TWS: slow burn, angst, blood, canon violence, mentions of death, anxiety, jealousy, friends to friends with benefits to enemies to lovers?, maybe death of a main character (haven't decided yet) change of plot

Keep in mind that English is not my first language, I also know nothing about guns, human anatomy or fighting in the language so I'm sorry if I make a lot of mistakes

Gif credits to Titanstv on Pinterest

Story Masterlist / Main Masterlist

You felt a throbbing pain in your head and started slowly opening your eyes and becoming aware of your surroundings, you were trying to figure out how long you had slept for since according to the sky it was night now and you didn't know if it was the next day now or if you had just slept some hours, now that you think of it, you didn't actually remember falling asleep either, well thats what happens when you cry too much after not sleeping for two days i guess, you decided that you would really love a glass of water right now and started making your way to the kitchen, you hoped no one was awake or at home, after your whole emotional moment with Bruce and Alfred you realized how embarrassing it had been to cry your heart out in front of someone who did not even know you and how much of a big deal you had made things that seriously were not that deep, then you cried more of embarrassment, and then you realized how much of a baby you were being, and realized you were really sleep deprived and really needed some sleep.

You arrived to the kitchen and just as luck would have it, there was no other than Jason Todd, the guy who had to awkwardly witness a girl he didn't know sob her eyes out but while thinking about it you realized that making it a bigger deal than it was would only make it actually embarrassing and would probably ruin any chance of friendship with that guy so you decided that you would let it go and it had never happened.

Jason didn't acknowledge you at all, he was too concentrated on eating what he had cooked for himself earlier and honestly he didn't seem like a very social guy so you just let him be.

You reached for a glass but then decided that maybe you should grab a thermos so you could bring it to your room and not have to make your way over to the kitchen every time you were thirsty, the noise made Jason acknowledge you but he just gave you a nod while he looked at you and you just returned it, you went to fill the water and you could still feel Jason staring at you, the environment was really awkward and Jason looked like he wanted to say something, or maybe he just wanted you to leave, well, this was your chance to talk to him, if he didn't want to talk to you back then you would just let him be, no harm in trying to make friends in your own home.

"Aren't you supposed to be out there with Bruce?" you asked him

He shook his head and pointed to his ribcage "got stabbed, Bruce wouldn't allow me to go back out there"

"Huh, how'd you get stabbed?" you asked not being bothered by it, you were used to these kind of things

"Harley" he said nonchalantly

"Oh" you said and nodded at him

"Mhm"

"I thought she hadn't been active in a while?" I said, Dick had told me before he left Bruce that Harley hadn't made an appearance in almost a year and it looked like she might want redemption.

"Yeah but Joker was put back in Arkham some months ago, we thought they had broken up but turns out it was just an act and she was just plotting something to try and get him out or get revenge or something like that, and well i may be skilled but Harley is Harley" he said taking bites of his food.

"Yeah I get you, even I am scared of going against Harley"

"You are? haven't you beaten her like a lot of times?"

"Yeah but miss girl is not just crazy and skilled but she's also in LOVE like not cutesy love, but maniac love that's a dangerous combination" you said in an exaggerated way to get your point across.

"I wouldn't call that love" he said while shaking his head before taking another bite of his food which you had no idea what it was.

"Then what would you call it?"

"Obsession I guess, she's like obsessed with him, she would throw herself against chemicals that will probably kill her if he asked for it... oh wait she already did"

"Yeah, poor girl would give her life for someone who just manipulates her and uses her”

"I mean yeah, but I wouldn't call her poor she's still a psycho" he shrugged.

"Maybe, but she's in love, even if you wouldn't call it that i think i would, its not a healthy love but she just loves him in a really obsessive unhealthy way, also if you see it in a way, we are psychos as well" i say before taking a sip of my water.

"What do you mean?" he asked as he sipped what must be coffee from a mug and looked at me curiously.

"Well, what kind of people just beats up other people every night?"

"Well yeah, but we only beat criminals and people who deserve it, they actually kill" he said trying to defend his point.

"I mean, yeah they may kill and we don't, but what's worse? dying or being paralyzed and basically tortured for life?"

"What do you mean?" he frowned and tilted his head a bit, he was intrigued in the conversation now.

"Well do you honestly think everyone will just be fine after being thrown around and beaten up until the point where you know if you give one more punch they'll die? I mean even professional fighters get brain paralysis or quadriplegic or like vegetative state from a bad blow and they have like precautions in those fights, now imagine in a fight where there's no precautions and the only stop sign is either them going unconscious or them not being able to move or them being a step away from death keep in mind that the criminals that you beat sometimes aren't trained or don't even know how to fight like regular thieves and shit, im obviously not talking about criminals like Ivy or Harley and stuff and a lot of the vigilantes have actually killed at least one person, maybe not intentionally but yeah" I explained to him.

"Huh, I guess if you think about it like that you're right" he nodded and took one last bite out of his plate

"Of course I am, I"m always right" I smiled at him

"Sure you are" he rolled his eyes in a playful way and stood up to wash his dirty dishes.

"I am!" I say pretending to be offended

"Uh huh, whatever you say" he smiled at me, "well, uhm its pretty late and I guess I should try to get some sleep, so see you tomorrow, I guess" he said before starting to head out of the kitchen.

"Sure, goodnight" I said to him.

"Night" He replied before finally leaving the kitchen.

taglist:

@fairyeoll @singitoutgirl26 @mad-die45 @just-lost-inbetween-worlds @pariahsparadise

[xergoxponderx]

"I can fix him" type beat (literally) Jason Todd x You Playlist angst and sadness and emotional messes and such

Risk - Deftones "I'll find a way, I'll confuse them. But I think I can try...I will save your life..."

No matter what happens you always stood by Jason. When Bruce took him in, you assured him he'd be a great Robin. When he died part of you did too, as you mourned him. After his resurrection, you treated him like a person and not a monster that would snap. Why? The rest of the family felt wary, alienating him. You ran to his arms, and thought of ways to let him know he's loved and accepted...by you...

Is It Really You? - Loathe Face away. Deal with the pain. Your own way, how could they deal with the pain? I knew...it was mine too...and you? Is it really you?

When you saw him you didn't know what to think. One second you were helping Bruce hunt down the Red Hood. The next...you saw your best friend before you, smirking. As if he never died...as if the Joker never took him from you. You walked closer, placing a hand on his cheek. Even with the domino mask you knew it was him. He let you caress his face, uncertain as to if he should push you back or hold you.

"Jason...I missed you...is it really you?", you ask, just wanting to hear him say yes. That this isn't a dream.

You didn't need words...not when he pulled you close and hugged you with all of his heart and its broken pieces.

Covet - Basement "White hair and a hopeful smile, your inside is on its outside. I need a pleasant surprise. Good heart, and desire to please. I want a fatal disease, with you. I don't wanna be with you. When I'm with you, I don't wanna be with you"

Despite the heartfelt reunion, Jason found it hard to go back to the way it was. He wanted to hold you like he did that first night. It's so hard. He's also scared...scared he'll take his anger for Bruce out on you. He avoids you, making sure to not cross paths with you.

But he yearns for you. He sees it in your eyes. How badly you want to help him. To hold him. To make him feel loved. You were his own personal symbol of hope. When he's near you, he shuts you out to pretend he doesn't need you. But when you're gone he misses you...God how he misses you.

Bloodhail - Have a Nice Life "I see the top of the roof come off, kill everybody there. I'm watching all the stars burn out, trying to pretend that I care. But I didn't, no one ever does. And I wouldn't, no one ever will. Can't you see it's flown all out of my hands?"

When Jason kills, he thinks about you. Dark, I know. But he wonders how much you'd change your view of him because of it. Would you love him less? He has his reasons. These people harm others, they're scum. They made their beds and must lay in it.

Part of him feel a tug in his heart. He doesn't want you to see him as a monster...like everyone else does. But part of him doesn't care. He's off the deep end. When Red Hood decides it's so...these people shall die. Little does he know how deep your love runs, to the point where his murders can't stop you loving him. As he takes another life you sit in the night, doing tasks on your own.

You know what he does, the blood on his hands...and still you love him anyways. Whether it's right or wrong...

All They Wanted - Pachinko "Girl with the Fuck Me eyes. Girl who has to lie. The feelings and they wanna die, and when it's all over she cries. All she ever wanted is to feel like she's wanted. All she ever needed is to feel like she's needed."

Let's talk about you darling. You. With that heart full of love that runs deep. You who viciously loves and cares for others. You. So loyal and fierce yet soft and comforting.

When Jason was gone, others tried to help you cope. Dick tried to comfort you. He saw how deep your loyalty for Jason ran. How you admire him, what he did as Robin. How smart, snappy, and yet talented he was.

Someone as charming as Dick could swoon any girl...all but the girl with those mesmerizing eyes. How he wanted them to look into his own with the same love and affection you did when you merely thought about Jason. You tried to lie, you know. You tried to lie and say you were over Jason. Just so you didn't come off as even more of the sad longing person who lost the only one she ever loved.

"I just wanted him to love me...I wish he was here so I knew if he loved me...I wanna be loved...", you admit to Dick as you tear up.

How he wishes he could tell you that he loves you. That he's right here. That he could grant you that wish. But he knew there was no use. You wanna be loved, sure. But not by him or anyone else but Jason. And so...he watches from afar. The girl who he can never have. And when Jason came back, it hurt Dick in many ways. You're the glass shard in his heart that he couldn't ever take out, even if it hurts, at least a part of you is still in his heart.

Starting Over - LSD and the Search for God "Be careful what you wish for, cause it might come true. These wise words you once said, 'It only takes a moment to fall in love again'"

When he came back it felt like a gift to you. But it felt like such a curse to him. This turmoil caused a rift between the two of you. Your hopeful eyes spited him. He was so sure everyone would hate him, yet here you are. Loving him. But doesn't it come with a price? Bruce seemed to have loved Jason, but under these new circumstances, whether or not that fatherly love still existed wasn't quite clear. This taught Jason that love has expectations...standards.

But what Jason didn't know was unconditional love. He thought that you'd stop loving him if he let you close enough to see his flaws. But God was he wrong. He would rather try to forget you than try to hold you, just to mess up and have you pull away from him. No. He can't handle that.

But when you were patrolling and saw him, seconds before shooting the head of a mob boss.

You didn't run. You didn't stop him. You saw it happen. This is the life of a vigilante who shows no mercy.

Red Hood looked back, realizing you were there. His eyes widened under the helmet. Fuck. Did he mess up, mere feet away from you? Did he just scare off the one person who loved him? He never cared about the scum he killed...but this time he cried and wished he didn't do it. Not for the sake of the mob boss, but for you.

He teared up under the mask, mentally preparing for the one girl who looked at him with hope and love to call Batman as backup to send him to Arkham, or even Black Gate. He stood and waited for his best friend to fight him.

He stood still as you walked up and hugged him. You get it. You understand...you get him.

"I'm not angry. I'm not scared...I'm not turning away from you...not ever..." you whisper.

That cracked the armor he held up so desperately around his heart. He hugged you back. He clung to you like you were the only thing keeping him from falling into that dark dark place.

"I'm so sorry..."

All I Think About Now - Pixies "I try to think about tomorrow. But I always think about the past. About the things that didn't last. If I could go to the beginning. Then for sure there would be another way. Make it better for today...

Jason finally took to spending time with you, one on one. Of course this had to be kept a secret from Bruce...who would find out eventually on his own. But whatever, the two of you decided to enjoy it while you could. However long that may be.

"I try not to think about it. But so much time was taken. I died. I died and he didn't even do anything.", Jason says as he sits next to you. You lean against him and look down, soft music from your personal playlist ringing in the silence.

"I know...the more I think about it the more I don't understand him or why he can't just kill the Joker...", you admit.

Jason's eyes widen as he looks down at you. He didn't expect you to see it that way...his way. Even if you seemed a bit unsure about it. "Nothing matters to him but his mission, and his stupid moral code.", Jason hisses with clear distain.

"Shhh...", You say calmly as you clutch him just slightly tighter. "Don't think about him Jason. Right now it's us. I just...I'll do anything to make you happy. I can't change the past but if I can be your rock for the future...if you'd let me care for you like that...", you trail off, drunk off of just being around him.

"You're so positive all the time...", Jason says, his voice low as he tries to feign judgement...yet his eyes are soft. "I love you..." he says in a hushed wisp of a sentence. Too bad you couldn't hear.

Black Hair - Alex G "It's not what you are. It's just what you did. Don't hang up the phone. I love you to death."

{3 Jokers Storyline}

You feel the tears fall as Jason tells you about the note he left Barbara. How he promised he would drop being Red Hood and murdering if she promised to be his. Thank god you're on the phone and not in person.

"(Y/N), are you crying?", Jason asks on the other end.

"No. Jesus Jason are you that dense?", you say with pain and poison on your lips.

"What? What do you mean? I just-", Jason doesn't get to talk as you speak.

"Why are you acting like Barbara was the only one who cares when I was always there? Who held you while everyone thought you were a monster? Who held you after you took a life in front of them?", you cry as you speak, "I did! Without hesitation!"

"(Y/N), I'm sorry but I don't fucking get it. Why are you so pissed? I had to fight of hundreds of Joker clones today and you yelling at me-", Jason states.

"I'm sorry you went through that. But why did you kiss Barbara? Why did you give her a proposition to drop being Red Hood just to be with her when I would be with you no matter what!", you ask as you tear up.

"I...(Y/N)...I didn't think-"

"No. You didn't think. Jason, Barbara cares about you just as much as Bruce does. Can't you see that? They both think you're wrong for being a killer. They both want you to give up your ideas and be like them. They both want you to live and live their way. The only reason you clung to Barbara like that was because she was there and you were in need of care. You clung to the closest thing you could find when I was just a phone call away...", you state, your heart breaking in each word, "Your hatred for Bruce blinds you. Barbara doesn't love you like I love you. You just needed someone and she was there....in your physical proximity..."

You never called him out like this before. But now that he's hearing it he realizes. How much you think about him and his actions. How much you care. How much you love him. He's a fool. A fucking fool. All this time he spent running away so you didn't hate him and think he's a monster...just to mess it up later down the line.

"Please...don't hate me...I know that was a jerk move when you're right here...waiting for me...", Jason pleads.

"You're not a bad person Jason and I don't hate you. I just...didn't think you'd choose someone else over me when I always chose you..." You say softly, "I gotta go..."

"Please don't hang up...please...(Y/N) don't!", Jason beggs, his voice getting louder as he realizes his mistake.

"I gotta go...bye Jason..."

"(Y/N), please! I love you to death!"

[baguettesandbows]

2

tw! sa undertones

P3

If you thought you felt crazy thinking that Jason was alive before, you felt ten times crazier in Arkham.

The place wasn’t built for crazy people, it was built to keep them inside. Away from the high end galas and family members who were ashamed of them. A place where Batman could put villains that were too much trouble for the GCPD.

You fit into those catagories perfectly.

Dick wasn’t lying, Bruce had gotten you the suite. The suite in Arkham. You had assumed your room might be better than the ones the Joker would’ve had. Or any other villain that’s escaped from here.

Escaped. Maybe that’s why Bruce put you in a suite.

Through unpacking, they didn’t slow you to bring in any of Jason’s items. His sweatshirt, his favorite books, even the paper band from your first concert together.

Because it would trigger your attacks.

You had punched the guards nose as they carried you out from holding.

What you had to give to Arkham, was they kept to a schedule. The point of it seemed to make everyone more crazy. Therapy was interrogating, Lunch was slop, and visiting hours… was just Dick.

You’re least favorite time of Arkham was Rec. They’d put you and the other high class young women in the same room, and expected no fights to happen. Sometimes, they’d mix the genders so there would be fights.

You learned quickly to keep to yourself and not tell anyone anything. You could practically hear Jason saying “Snitches don’t get stitches. They go missin’ in Gotham.”

Jason. Jason Todd. The boy who called you birdie. Your first everything. His red tank tops and his boyish smirk, his arm covered in friendship bracelets you’d make while he was on patrol-

“Reader?”

You look up from the table and avoid looking at the couple practically shagging in the corner, to focus on the man with a clipboard, looking around the room.

You were new, but he seemed newer.

“Here.” You mumble, getting up and walking past a small group of men who eye you in your sweatsuit.

You meet the man at the gate locking in the rec room, and meet his gaze blankly.

“You’re Reader? Right, I’m Jefferson, the new assistant to Doctor Jane.” The man says softly, yet clearly trying to be.. intimidating? “I’m taking over her clients while she’s on break after the.. incident.”

The incident. A woman had snuck a metal pipe into her meeting last week.

“Right.”

Jefferson clears his throat and smiles warmly at you, an expression not hardened yet by Arkham. “Follow me, please.”

Jefferson met with you two times a week. The first weeks were rough, since you had expected Jefferson to be the same as everyone else. To instantly deny your truth.

But he listened. He listened to your ideas, and your proof. You think he would’ve even looked at your evidence, if you were allowed to bring it in.

Sometimes, although it wasn’t allowed, he’d bring you a coffee. One from a diner on his way to Arkham.

You had questioned another woman in your cell block about if Jefferson bought everyone coffee on tuesdays. That question earned you a right hook, due to being a favorite.

You were laying in your room, staring at the top of your bed frame, fidgeting with your hands. Every night, you’d memorize Jason’s face. Especially when you weren’t allowed to have pictures of him here, you couldn’t forget his features.

You didn’t want to forget his face, in case he walked right by you.

With as much money Arkham gets from supporters and investors, the walls were paper thin. You could hear the rustling of your next door neighbor, as her secret escapades with one of the guards weren’t secret to you.

Below, you could hear pounding, most likely one of the women who was given a punching bad to ease her anger.

Your body trembled from the cold, but it wasn’t just from Arkhams shivering tempature. You had gotten used to Jason sneaking in, warming you up after his patrol. His ego boosting from his smirk as he told you about the goons he had taken down during the night.

He was so proud to be Robin. More people should’ve been proud of him for it.

You don’t realize your sobbing until the thumping next door stops, and your use of their white noise draws you out of it.

What, did your crying turn them off?

You hear rustling, before the guard walks out of her cell and up to yours. Unlocking the door, she peers in at you.

“You miss your dose of somethin’?”

You furrow your eyebrows. You knew most patients here took doses of things, but naively you assumed it was for their mental illnesses.

“For what?”

“For sleepin’. Almost everyone here gets some.” The guard says. “Leaves us less to deal with at night.”

At least she was honest.

You think for a moment, or not at all, before replying.

“Yeah. I take those.”

The pills make time in Arkham fly by.

You realize it’s why most of the patients take then. If you didn’t look at Jeffersons calendar every meeting, you’d understand why most of these people go crazy.

Jason would knee you in the vagina if he knew what you were doing. But he’s understand. Atleast, that’s what you tell yourself.

You’ve noticed one thing about Arkham, the prosedures.

Shock therapy. You wouldnt beleive it still existed, if you hadn’t seen the marks on the women at your lunch table. You had realized they hadn’t done it to you, because Dick or Bruce must be too involved with your care. Plus, Bruce could figure out anything that happened to you, as long as he was interested.

You hope that being his sons girlfriend will be enough for him to care about you for as long as your in here.

Jefferson’s office smelled good. Different than usual. You realized why when you saw a candle on his desk.

“Reader, come on in.” Jefferson says from his desk, scrubbing on his papers. “Sorry for the mess, some of the patients here have no knowledge for manners.”

He looked at you and gestures for you to sit in the chair across his desk like usual. You did as he said, and he seemed to always relax at your obedience.

“I heard we had a setback earlier this week.” Jefferson starts. “Randy told me she heard you talking to..” He checks his papers. “Jason, in your room.”

“I wasn’t talking to him.” You mutter. “I was talking about him. To myself.”

Jefferson clears his throat and nods. “Right. Well, we do know that a main reason your here is for your.. obsession to this case.”

He slides over a cup of coffee for you, which you take, tkaing a sip.

“Reader, you know that I am supportive of your ideas about this Jason. Regardless, any way out of Arkham is proving the fact that you aren’t, focused on what happened to him.”

Jefferson gets up from his desk and walks around it, sitting on the edge and looking down at you as you sip your coffee.

His lips twitch. “Good, right?” He says quietly, watching you. You nod, and he starts. “I don’t think you should be here. You aren’t like these other women. They have tarnished themselves. But you..” He draws off, reaching out to gently take the coffee from you.

Your lips were practically still on the container as he pulls it back to himself, making you look up at him in confusion. He brings the cup to his lips and takes a sip. He makes a noise as the coffee hits his tongue before looking at you. “I’m the only one that listens to you in here.” He says quietly. “I think you know that. And if what your saying is true, I want you to be able to get out of here and prove everyone wrong.”

He leans in, meeting your gaze. “I can sign you off and have you out of here after evaluation, but after all those treats i’ve given you, I think I deserve some of my own. Don’t you?”

[simpforfandoms]

Born To Die

I’m listening to dangerously yours again. It’s unhealthy. Probably plagiarized it, my bad.

pairing: Jason Todd x reader

summary: part 2 to this though could probably be read as a stand alone. Jason and reader reunite after his death

genre: hurt/comfort

word count: 2.5k

warning: death, language, a lot of rambling it adds character deal with it, Jason has green eyes, isn’t really proof read

masterlist

When Bruce Wayne of all people called you last night, you were hesitant to answer.

A million thoughts flooded your brain. How did you even have his number in your contacts? How did he have your number? When you moved to California you tried to put as must distance as could from Gotham. The memories being too painful. But why the hell was Bruce Wayne calling you? On a Thursday night of all times. Not that it matters but he didn’t even have the decency to call you during the day. No, he had to barge in on your self-appointed sulking time. You sighed and were about to answer it when a bird hit your window. Obviously, you took this as a sign from whatever entity there was not to answer the call. You’ve read enough books to know dead birds are never good. But then Bruce called again. and again. and again. On the fifth call, you answered. No one would call five times if it wasn’t important.

“What?” You snapped

“Jason’s alive.”

What. The. Actual. Fuck. You knew Bruce was crazy but you didn’t know he was that crazy. Jason was dead. You held his cold body in your own arms, for crying out loud. It had to be some sick joke. Just when you hadn’t cried over Jason in almost a day (a new personal record) Bruce just had to say that shit. A part of you wondered what Jason ever saw in him. Why Jason ever became his partner. Oh god. Jason. Your mind flashed back to all the memories you had with him. Every kiss. Every laugh. Every touch. Everything. You missed him. A part of you hoped that that was true. But the more reasonable part of you knew it wasn’t, no matter how much you wished. It’s funny, you remember crying out to the heavens above to bring him back to life. Jason, your soulmate. But at last, you got no answer. So why now? Why now would he be alive? Why not when you were kicking the earth where he laid hoping that maybe that would wake him from his eternal sleep? Why not when you stopped talking to anyone, isolating yourself in fear that you would attached then they would die again? Why not then? What makes now so different?

Bruce heard your sharp breaths and a quiet “what?”.

“I know this is a lot to take in, but right now I need you to get to Gotham City as soon as possible. I’ll explain everything when you get here. I emailed you your plane ticket information, please pack accordingly” then he hung up.

Rude. You don’t know what’s ruder, Bruce telling you that the love of your life is alive or that he just expects you to unroot your life and go to Gotham at the flick of a finger.

Ultimately, Jason was and will always be your weak spot, so of course you got on the flight and went to Gotham. It's embarrassing but you would do anything for Jason, dead or not.

So that’s how you ended up walking through Gotham city. Sure Bruce offered you a ride to get to the manor but you enjoy the solditary that comes with walking alone. However, you did put your suitcase in the cab to be taken to Manor. You aren’t a manic.

On the plane ride over you had researched Gotham, as you did not want to go in blindly. What if there was an insane serial killer running around. But what you had found was a new mysterious villain was taking control of Gotham from the inside out. The villain or “Red Hood” as the articles dubbed him seemed to only be targeting other criminals and as far as you can tell you aren’t a criminal. So by all means, for the most part, you were safe to walk around Gotham at night alone.

You’ve lived in Gotham long enough to know which parts to avoid. Thanks to Jason, you also know a little bit of self defense. As you walk the lonely streets, you find your self reminiscing on your time spent with him. There was the park bench you two craved your initials in. Down a little ways is a garbage can you bet Jason he couldn’t fit in. He did. You lost five bucks that day. Even further down was the apartment complex you and Jason lived in.

You stop for a moment to stare at it. It looks like complete and utter shit, but it always did. Maybe that’s what you loved about it. People were so quick to judge the outside that no one ever even bothered look inside. It was abandoned. Left in the same state that you had left it in. It almost makes you happy in a weird way. Your memories that took place in there would never be touched. Forever preserved. You’re tempted to go inside but you know you must continue on your journey. To Wayne manor. To see Jason. No. Maybe. To possibly see Jason. Through very likely you won’t.

You continue walking, even though your legs feel like shit. A couple buildings down is the little run down diner you and Jason would hang out. The owners were quite nice and always gave you two free food. A simple gesture that probably didn’t mean much to them but to you and Jason it meant the world. You think if you ever got to thank them for their kindness and told them what it really meant. You suppose you haven’t, so you walk into the diner. The smell brings you back a different time. A simpler time. Back when Jason was still alive. You look over to the booth where you and Jason you used to sit. No one’s there. You’re tempted to go sit down and try to find every inscripture you and Jason ever craved into the both.

“fuck it” you mumble as you walk over to the booth.

You sit and a waitress immediately comes to get your order.

“Anything I can get started up for you hon” the waitresses says with a strong southern accent.

A southern belle you presume. She’s young. And has the kind of voice that instantly comforts you. Like a mother’s touch. It’s sad to see her here. In a run down diner in Gotham. Arguably the worst city in America. This city will drain the life from her and before she even knows it she’s heartbroken and stuck. Or dead. Death is probably the more likely outcome, from your experience.

“Just a chocolate milkshake” you say remembering that it was what you and Jason would always share.

“That’s unusual for this time of hour” She chuckles as she writes it down. “What brings you to Gotham, you don’t look like a regular”

“Visiting an old friend I guess” you shrug

“Oh well I hope you enjoy your stay” she smiles

“Thank you” you smile back as she walks away.

Ironic. You would not enjoy your stay. Nothing good ever comes from Gotham. As soon as she is out of sight your hands quickly move to feeling the table and searching for the carvings. You find yours and Jason’s initials. An occasional “Jason was here” or “y/n and Jason were here”. But something strikes you. It is a simple date. Something you don’t remember doing yourself. It is the date of when you and Jason shared your first kiss. He must’ve carved it. Your eyes well with tears. It is the simplest of things that will bring you back to all the heartbreak and loss. You presume that that is how grief works. It comes and goes in mysterious ways. Sometimes even a color reminds you of him and your back to the day when you were told he died.

You’re brought out of your thoughts by a milkshake being placed on the table. You thank the waitress and take the straw she gave you. Mixing the whip cream with the chocolate slush. Something that Jason always did and now you can’t drink a milkshake without doing it. It’s the littlest things that he did that stuck with you. You always wear mismatched socks because he did. He insisted that “matching socks were unnatural”z You hear the diner door bell jingle, signifying another costumer has entered, but pay it no mind. Until the new customer sits at your booth. Then you look up from your milkshake, raising your eye to find the culprit. You are meant with green eyes. The very same eyes you see when you close your eyes at night. The very same eyes that haunt your every move.

No. This can’t be happening. He’s supposed to be dead. You’re almost paralyzed, but you will not show weakness. For all you know this is clay face trying to get a jab out of you. Your widen eyes now harden. You take a sip of your milkshake just to be sure you aren’t dreaming. All while Jason stares at you. No not Jason. It. He. Whatever stares at you. Yep not dreaming. You are reassured that by the sweet milkshake filling your taste buds.

“Soooooo….” He starts

You stop drinking, “what the fuck is going on? Whatever sick joke is happening needs to end. I’m not in the mood“ you close your eyes and sigh, “God I should’ve just stayed in nice little apartment and not listen to fucking stupid Bruce Wayne.” You rant

He just raises his eyebrows as if he is stunned for a moment

“Well answer the god damn question!” You demand

“Ummm I don’t know it’s kinda hard to explain. I just woke up one day and was alive?” He says, hoping you don’t snap again.

“Yeah like that’s totally possible. I’m done here.” You say as you grab a ten dollar bill from your bag and tuck it under your milkshake and get up to walk away.

“Y/n! Please just-“

“No! I’m done with whatever fucked up bull shit this is. You’re-Jason Todd is dead.” You say as you walk out the door.

The stranger follows you. You quicken your pace. He does to.

“I said to fuck off” you turn to yell at him.

“February 2nd. I came into your bedroom through your window all bloody and bruised. You patched me up and made sure I was okay. In some miracle of a moment I got you to kiss me. If I was dead how could I know that?”

The possibility of him being alive crosses your mind. No. You are better than that. You are not delusional.

“Lucky guess.” You turn to walk away but he grabs your arm.

”when my mom-Catherine, was dying you were holding my hand as I held hers. You hugged me and made sure that I didn’t see as she took her final breathes.”

No. It really is him. Oh my god. A million thoughts rush through your head. How? Should you hug him? Kiss him? Your eyes well up with tears, on the brink of falling. Not of happiness but of frustration. Why now? Just when you finally are starting to move on. the universe has other plans. You guess you probably should’ve mentally prepared yourself for this before you came. Him being alive was always a possibility, but come on who would believe that?

You can only mutter a response, a unimportant response, “how long?”

“What?”

“How long have you’ve been alive Jason?” You question, now fully committed to the question.

“Why?”

“I want to know.” You’re hoping that he will reply to something so you can be mad, a emotion that you recognize, instead of dealing with whatever emotion your feeling.

“Five years.”

five years. five fucking years. Five years you were grieving. Five years in which you’ve tried to move on. Five years

“Why didn’t come to me?” A heartbreaking question that had to be asked. Did he not trust you? Did he not remember you? Did he not love you anymore?

“I thought you moved on. Bruce replaced me. You moved away. You forgot about me. It would be selfish of me to come back hoping you would still want me.”

“How dare you say that? Each and every fucking day I am reminded of you. I couldn’t get away from you even if I tried and believe me I have fucking tried. From the moment I found out about your death I have been consumed by this inexplicable sorrow Jason. I loved you. I love you. I could never just forget that.” You explain

You and Jason stare at each other for a moment. You hate yourself for getting mad at him. This should be a moment of celebrating, not an argument.

“I’m sorry.” He sighs and runs his hand through his hair. “I was just so angry. At the world. At joker. At Bruce.”

“At me?”

“No never you.”

You sigh. Suddenly being brought back to earth by him.

“You probably should have been. Y’know? I couldn’t stop you.”

Your tears are about to fall. No. He will not see you cry. You turn to walk away again, not wanting him to see the tears fall. No, no, let him think you’re fine. So that he might be able to move on.

Until you hear, “Don’t do that. Please don’t do that.”

To this you turn back around.

“Don’t do what Jason?”

“Don’t blame yourself for my death. There was nothing you could’ve done.” He says.

“Jay.” The nickname rolls off your tongue, sending shockwaves through him.

He stares at you with those piercing green eyes. It’s like you’ve been transported back to when you were telling him to stay. To not go. But yet he wouldn’t listen. A million thought going through his beautiful head. A million thoughts that you wished you could read, or even just glimpse into.

At last, after what feels like an lifetime, he speaks, “Do you know what you are to me?” He pauses, taking in your features, “You’re something to believe in again. After all these years I’m still yours. I never once stopped loving you. If there were to be a person for me, it would be you. It would be you above anyone else in the world. I love you. And I don’t want you to feel like it was your fault. It wasn’t.”

When he says things like that it makes you want to run into his arms and kiss him under the moon light. Maybe you will. Yeah you probably will. Fuck it. You only live once, a phrase you have adopted since his passing.

You run the mere ten feet you were from him to him. His arms immediately encapsulate you. Oh how you missed being in his arms. It’s like his arms were designed for you and no one else.

“I missed you.” you murmur into his chest

“I missed you too”

Still, a million words left unsaid, but for now, you in his arms will do.

…

Sorry this took me a hot minute I had a depressive episode #yolo. Any who here’s a tag list though I didn’t really have one because I didn’t think people liked my work that much but some things change lol. Also I really do not know how to respond to comments, I promise I’m trying. I do read them and I appreciate them!

Dc Characters Taglist

@venomsvl

[fcthots]

“I swear to you, that as long as I’m alive I won’t let a single soul ever harm you.” with protective upset and slightly unhinged jason would be so so good oh my god. like if something bad happens to reader and he has to get violent to defend her… yeah.

-🧸

You were on you way home, out later than you should have been, but your friend needed moral support after a breakup and you lost track of time.

Unfortunately while both you & Jason's apartment and your friend's were just off the edge of crime alley, your friend's apartment was on the opposite end of you and Jason. All of this is to say, unless you wanted to be out after midnight, you had to pass through crime alley after dark. It was just a five minute walk there, when daylight spared you of most of the dangers of Gotham, but it was pitch black now. You should have driven, but at the time it didn’t seem necessary.

Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck.

You walked as fast as possible.

You didn’t even have a purse on you. Your phone was in the leather jacket Jason had bought you as a present and you had 20 dollars stuffed somewhere in your pant pockets.

Were you supposed to turn left here? Yeah, you recognize that streetlamp.

You would call Jason, but your phone is fucking dead and it's not like you were gonna ask your crying friend for a charger. And you didn’t realize how late it had gotten until you stepped outside with no way to get back into your friends apartment.

You were in the home stretch, just in the outskirts of crime alley. Almost freedom.

Never let it be said that you were lucky. All of your luck was used getting your hot ass boyfriend. Luck gone.

The man had a knife and was screaming for your wallet. Your wallet that you did not bring with you.

"Give me the wallet or I'm gonna spill your guts on the fucking ground!"

Just because your boyfriend was scary looking, did not mean you were used to scary men, especially ones that yelled at you. Your hands shook and you weren't sure what to do.

"I don’t have it. All I have is 20 dollars, please."

"That's a fucking lie. I see your jacket. I know that shit is expensive. Lie to me again and I'll slit your throat."

Fuck. If you had to guess, it would be Jason that would find your body. You didn’t want it to be Jason. He wouldn't be able to handle seeing your lifeless eyes. You know what it's like to look into your soulmates lifeless eyes and realize they're gone forever; you were hoping Jason would never have to experience that.

"It's-"

"Tough luck... I guess I could accept other forms of payment."

He bares his teeth in a grin as he sees the look on your face.

"Unless you'd prefer that no one ever finds your body?"

You're really glad you told Jason you loved him before he left for patrol.

The man starts getting closer to you. You can't talk, can't scream, can't think. You were gonna die alone.

You think you mumble out a 'please' before your back hits the wall. His knife was to your throat, but all you could think about was Jason.

There was a bang that you didn’t fully register. Before you could think twice about it, your mugger was on the ground. You didn’t move. You stayed, frozen, silent tears running down your cheeks.

"Shh, it's ok. You're ok. It's me."

You finally focused your eyes and saw the white lenses staring at you, his arms in the air.

You babbled nonsense. You couldn't breathe.

You tried to back away from the man on the floor, but you almost fell. You swore your legs were going to give out. Jason was at your side in less than a second. He lifted you over the bleeding body on the ground, supported your weight as your knees buckled.

He tucked your face into the crook of his neck and you choked on air.

"I've got you. Match my breaths, ok? Good. You're doing great. You're ok, I promise."

All you could manage to get out was his name.

"'M right here. Just breathe. Focus on that for me." His hand cradled the base of your neck.

Eventually you stopped crying. Eventually you could breathe again. Eventually Jason led your face away from his neck to look at you. Your whole body shook. You watched as he drew his hand up to his helmet and heard this hiss and click and he took it off. He took your jaw in one of his hands.

He wiped the splattered blood and tears off your cheeks with a gloved hand, traced the trail of fresh blood and broken skin on your neck from where the knife was pressed against you. “I swear to you, that as long as I’m alive I won’t let a single soul ever harm you.”

You looked into his eyes as they flashed an inhuman green, and you believed him.

Bonus:

"Wait, Jay. Did you just happen to stumble across me?"

"There...may or may not be a tracker in the jacket I bought you... You were in one place for too long."

"I hate that that makes me feel safer."

He smiles apologetically. "I love you."

"I love you too."

[stellasworks]

Opening my requests!!

Send in any x reader fics you wanna see with the characters listed on my pinned post!!

[n0cturn4]

Character: Jason Todd x Reader Summary: “I don’t want to hurt you,” he confessed, vulnerability shaping his words. “But I can’t ignore what I am.” Word Count: 535 Music: The bird song - Noah Floersch

In the pulsating heart of the city, where shadows dance and secrets whisper, Jason Todd, the vigilante marked by a tumultuous past, carried the weight of his scars on his shoulders. Life as Robin taught him about struggle, loss, and the fragile line that separates light from darkness. But then you appeared, a ray of hope, illuminating the darkest corners of his soul.

In the early encounters, Jason was a mystery, wrapped in an almost sacred silence. His eyes, deep as the night, revealed a whirlwind of unspoken emotions. Together, you shared laughter beneath the stars, navigating forgotten streets, as if the world around you was merely a canvas for the love story you were painting.

Yet, even in the happiest moments, the shadow of his pain loomed over him. The scars of a vigilante’s life were persistent shadows, whispering fears and insecurities. He feared that by allowing himself to love, you would become yet another victim of the storms that haunted him. One night, after a violent confrontation, he withdrew, the silence between you becoming an insurmountable chasm.

“Jason, you don’t have to do this,” you pleaded, your voice choked with sadness. “I’m here. You can trust me.”

He shook his head, his eyes heavy with an anguish that seemed insatiable. “I’m a monster. I can’t give you the life you deserve.” The declaration echoed in your heart like an arrow, embedding itself deep within your soul.

The emptiness he left was an incessant echo; the nights stretched on in his absence, transforming into a silent lament. But you refused to give up. Determined, you decided that you needed to find him, that your love was a flame that would not be extinguished by the darkness.

On that moonlit night, you finally spotted him, leaning against a wall, his gaze lost on the horizon. Upon seeing you, his heart raced, but he remained still, like a stone statue. You approached, a hesitant step forward, knowing you had to break the barrier between you.

“Jason,” you began, your voice soft as a breeze, “don’t let your fears stop you from living. I’m not perfect, but I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere.”

His eyes met yours, and for the first time, the light of hope reflected in his deep gaze. The words he longed to say were caught in his throat, but the expression on his face spoke of an internal struggle, a burning desire for change.

“I don’t want to hurt you,” he confessed, vulnerability shaping his words. “But I can’t ignore what I am.”

“Neither can I,” you replied, your voice steady as a beacon. “But together, we can face our demons. We will be each other’s shelter in the storm.”

The words hung in the air, a thread of hope weaving between you. Jason hesitated, but the love he felt for you burned brighter than his fear. He took a step forward, and in a simple gesture, he took your hand, feeling the connection that had always bound you together.

With time, you became masters at navigating between light and darkness, discovering the beauty hidden in wounds and the joy in life’s little moments. And so, beneath the moon’s embrace, you became more than lovers; you became allies, ready to face life’s storms together.

[mistymisfit]

So long, Marianne IV

Summary: Reader is a spy working undercover in Gotham when she meets Jason Todd, who despite her better judgement she forms a very close friendship with. This story follows their escape from Arkham asylum, their fall out and the times they run into each other as they get older.

Warnings: mentions of sex (but nothing smutty happens), mentions of past torture and sa!!, also one mention of Jason pushing reader's hair back but that's all that's said, no texture or anything specified.

Word Count: 4,1K

a/n: told myself i'd stop posting this series on tumblr and keep it only on ao3 but whatever, i'm having writer's block so idc

Read on ao3

Masterlist - Mobile masterlist

Your first thought is "what are we even doing anymore?" It's great to have him back in your life, but what the fuck is going on? Ever since you worked things out with him after what happened in Gotham, you started to sneak and meet him in secret. First, it was random hotels until he bought a few safe houses in the city. You never went to the same place twice. The safe houses would always switch after a while, he'd sell them and replace them. Out of the current ones, there was one of them uptown, then the other was downtown, and the third one was near the harbors.

You've been doing this for months, secretly meeting him in the dead of night every once in a while, and it'd always end up the same way. You see him, you get overwhelmed with how much you missed him and cry, then he'd wipe your tears off, and you'd sleep with him and leave. Frankly, you were growing a bit tired of it. He wasn't honest to you most of the time, wouldn't even tell you what he did when he was not with you. It didn't matter how great he was, it was exhausting being pushed away this much.

The first time you met him like this you cried, telling him all about how sorry you were for yelling at him like that, for saying all those things to him and leaving so cruelly. And he'd say he was sorry about locking you up and that he was a jerk- you agreed on that. To be fair, you were both wrong; you put yourself in danger going to Gotham that day, but it didn't give him the right to behave like that.

"Let go of me!" You had screamed when he picked you up, carrying you over his shoulder. "I swear to God, Ja-"

He cuts you off with a grunt before you can say his name. You trashed and kicked, but it was no match against his strength. Using your powers was out of the question, freezing him would only make it harder to escape his grasp. In between you cursing and yelling at him, he managed to walk to the military car so he could throw you into the backseat.

"Is this your fucking plan?" You were yelling as he opened the door "Have you lost your mind? You are giving him exactly what he wanted!"

"Shut the fuck up," He whispered angrily, putting a gloved hand over your mouth and hovering over you as you laid on your back. You looked around to see his men on the front seats quickly averting their gaze from you two. Of course, it was all about questioning his authority in front of them, it was fragile like that. "I don't want you to get hurt, so they're going to take you somewhere safe"

You took his hand off your face before saying "And I thought you were making decisions for yourself. Can't you see you're still his puppet? Just stop-"

"Enough, you are leaving. Now" You watched as one of his hands searched something in his pockets, handcuffs. It almost made you want to roll your eyes.

"Ja- Wait, what are you- stop it" You kicked him, trying to get out of his grasp "you're a fucking idiot, you're so brainwashed you can't see you're playing right into his trap"

"Quit it"

"Quit it? Let go of me!" You shrieked as he managed to bound your wrists behind your back. Then the anger got to you and you lowered your voice before you could say the meaner things you could come up with "You never left Arkham, huh? Figured I forgot a part of you there, left your humanity behind"

"Yeah, I'm a real monster sweetheart" He scoffs, and even over the modulated voice, you can tell the hurt in his voice, how much your words were affecting him. It made you feel bad for a second until you remembered how he was treating you.

"Clearly, you're not the person I thought you were." That's the last thing you say to him before he knocks his helmet against your head, rendering you unconscious so you wouldn't escape and ruin his plans.

You woke up with a killer headache and no idea how long you've been out or where you were. What you do know is that you're laying down on a mattress on the floor, no longer handcuffed and with an ice pack on your forehead right were Jason hit you. As you gradually regained consciousness, you started to check your whereabouts before you could move again. The room was dark, had no windows, and looking at the walls, you realized you were at some old, run down abandoned place. Panic quickly washed over you as you checked the state of your clothing; nothing was wrong with it, and you left out a sigh of relief.

You could hear voices outside, not outside the door but a bit further away. Moving as silently as you could, you walked towards the voices, going down a set of stairs and hiding behind a pile of wooden boxes as you tuned into the conversation a few meters away from you. It seemed to be some sort of weapon exchange, as most of you could make out of what they were saying was about either guns or ammo. You could only see the backs of some of Jason's men and not who they were talking to, but you recognized that voice as soon as you heard it. You took a step back, unknowingly knocking over some things and not being able to react and freeze them on time due to the shock. You'd drawn their attention to you now; neither Jason's nor Harley's goons were as fast as her to react.

"You!" She exclaimed in that high-pitched voice of hers, your heart felt heavy in your chest as it felt tighter and tighter and harder to get the air in and out of your lungs. You could feel the acid traveling from your stomach to your mouth and had to swallow down the need to puke."All grownup, Arkham's little princess!"

She kept talking as she walked closer to you, you shook your head saying no, unable to get any word out of pure fear; it had been years since you had felt that helpless. "Ah, you always healed so fast, not a scar on your pretty face, besides you know...that" Her cold fingers traced the tiny scar on the apple of your right cheek before you weakly pushed her hand off.

Your fingers went to your cheekbone, covering over the area you healed all those years ago, Jason didn't know about it. He didn't need to know about the acid burn scar you would have on your face had it not been for your powers.

"You used to be my cutesy dress up doll!"She laughed, grabbing a strand of your hair and twirling it "Remember when you wore my outfits? You looked so adorable!"

Then you remembered you were no longer tied up or keeping a cover or that you haven't been Marianne for a while. So with any and all the strength you could find, you raised your fist and delivered a swift and highly trained blow to her face. The silence that followed was deafening; the militia men were well instructed and had orders not to let anything happen to you, so they were ready to stop the situation from escalating. Stopping Harley's company from getting involved. She spat out blood and smiled, her twisted smile made your stomach turn once more. But you were free, or at least freer, so you grabbed one of her ponytails and smashed her head to the concrete wall. No longer putting up with the torture she put you through.

"What's wrong?" She teased, laughing through it "Didn't cha' miss me too? Cause I sure did! How much fun was it when I nailed your hand to-"

You let go of her hair only to push her away, making her stumble a few steps from you "Shut up, shut the fuck up!"

Then it's her laugh, that wicked, overly exaggerated high laugh that made you launch yourself again at her to fight her before you're stopped, dragged back by someone. You look up to see his expressionless helmet. He's been here this whole time? Didn't matter as you immediately started wriggling, trying to get out of his hold.

"Heal her" He ordered you, you jerk your arm out of his hand and take a few steps back, almost tripping. What? You looked up at him with eyes brimmed with tears begging to be shed and scared at how much he reminded you of him at that moment. It was like you went straight back to your captors, forcing you to heal and slow down his disease.

"No." your voice came out so low and shaky that you almost cringed at yourself.

"Stop causing me so much trouble and fix her face"

"You will not speak to me like that"

"I'll speak however I want, now do as you're told" He grabbed your face harshly; he didn't like the look in your eyes at all, or the fact that he successfully scared you into doing something you didn't want to. A whine escaped your lips as he gripped your jaw tighter, and only eased up once your eyes lit up. He could already feel the guilt eating him up, but his mind was dead set on carrying on with his revenge.

"Harley get you and your people the fuck outta here" He orders, before giving his men the same command. To leave you two alone.

"Gladly," She scoffs, holding her no longer broken nose "it was good to see ya' again"

"You're working with her?" you recriminated, shoving him and getting out of his grip once she left

"She works for me."

"Don't you dare touch me," you stepped back, raising your arms defensively when he tried to reach out for you "you heard her, you know what she did-"

"I'm using her, it's part of a plan"

"Did this big plan of yours really need her?" You sighed, wiping the tears that fell down your face; again, you found yourself crying over the same thing. Something you thought you had pushed down years ago. His silence gave you all the answers you needed

"Fine, I'm leaving"

"Wait a-" His hand caught your wrist.

"Let go of me," You struggled out of his hold "I don't even know who the fuck you are anymore. Working with her, all of them, you really are just one of the people you used to chase"

He opened his mouth to say something, not that you would know under the mask, but stopped when you added one last thing before you left. "You're just like him, and killing Batman won't fix the shell of a man you are"

Jason regretted what he did, his revenge plan didn't seem as important when he broke down after being unable to kill Bruce. He had him, but he didn't manage to pull it off. He lamented it especially when he needed you so badly to tell him it'd be okay and he wasn't a failure but you wouldn't, and now he'd probably lost that comfort forever due to his own doing.

He thought very differently. From his point of view, he was coming to you whenever he needed a decent sleep. It seemed this was the only way he could get at least an hour of useful rest, he thought fucking you was a way of making you hate him less. Maybe if he made you feel good, then you'd let him get close. It was his very fucked up way of saying he was sorry. This was the routine until tonight when he showed up incredibly injured, talking about some black mask character-- whoever that was. He had broken a few ribs and his nose; his body was poorly stitched in multiple places, and you were sure he had more wounds than those he admitted. It was a miracle he managed to leave Gotham to see you. Despite his insistence on being okay and that he was not in pain, you got to healing him.

"You have-"He whispers, wiping the blood off your nose.

"Oh it happens sometimes," You brush it off, taking the tissue from him. "do you feel better?"

"Mhm, thanks" He nods, cupping the back of your head with his hand and pushing you into a kiss.

"Wait, you should rest" You sighed "I haven't healed you completely "

"I know-" He smirks, kissing you again.

"Jay, I don't want to" You put your hand on his chest, trying to get some distance.

He sighs getting away from you and sitting as far as he could on the couch. Even if he was pissing you off, you've grown to appreciate seeing him in casual clothes. Right now, he was wearing a (way too tight) black shirt, his cargo pants as well as his boots were also black. He'd lost the leather jacket the second he walked through the door of the safe house, the safe house he'd bought to be able to meet you. You knew that with Jason you had to take what you could get, so you cherished seeing him dress like a normal person for the actual weather and not being covered from head to toe. You sigh back, rolling your eyes, and crawling to his side.

"Can't we just talk?" You whisper, tracing circles on his chest and hoping he wouldn't just get up and leave.

"Talk? " He chuckles in disbelief "What do you want to talk about?"

"I don't know, anything" You shrug, but a smile creeps up your lips when he turns to see you.

"How was your day at work?" He teases, knowing you wouldn't tell him about that.

"Ugh," You complain, but when you try to get away from him he is fast to grab you and pull you flush to his chest "Jason, is this all that you want from me?"

"What do you mean?" He lets go of you enough so you can put your arms on him to prop yourself up to look him in the eye.

"Sex, Jay" You sigh exasperated "Do you visit me just 'cause you want to get laid?"

He's taken aback by your question; you wanted more from him? Also, is that what you think of him? And on your side, you can't decipher his expression. Sometimes you miss being 16 and knowing exactly what went through his mind. He used to be so easy to read, now it's like he's purposely closing off any and all information he didn't want to give to you willingly. You had your suspicions that he'd come see you just because it was easier for him than letting some random girl see his scars, you even doubted he went out at all for the very same reason. You figured maybe it was easier to let his guard down with you since you had already seen the worst of him and been through the same. Maybe it was just convenient that he was still in touch with his high school sweetheart.

He shakes his head no, regretting giving you that impression. His cheeks blushed thinking he was to blame for it, remembering how he broke into your apartment that night. He intended to apologize, in between his new activity as Red Hood, he'd found the time to search for you in Bludhaven like he was originally meant to before you found him first. He stood on the roof of a building in front of yours for weeks before he actually tried to contact you, going over and over again if you'd even want to know anything from him. Eventually, he grew a pair, missing you far outweighed the shame he felt.

"Shit," You cursed when you saw him standing on your apartment "you can't be here"

He was disappointed by your reaction, yet he knew he should be grateful you weren't greeting him with a punch to his face. He opened his mouth to speak, but you immediately signaled him to stop. You looked around for a pen and paper and wrote down: meet me at the Harborview plaza 3 streets down. I'll get a room and leave the window open for you.

He agreed with a silent nod and left through your window, he made his way to where you told him to meet you. Jason knew he was in no position to question you and ask why wouldn't you want him in your apartment. He clearly knew where you lived, so keeping that a secret wasn't an issue. He expected yelling, cursing; Jason knew you never held back any words when mad at him. While overthinking your skittish behavior, he finally sees you open the window on a seventh floor. Of course, you couldn't have made it easy and asked for a room on the first floor, but then again he was the one taking you to the top of Gotham's skyscrapers so you could marvel at the view when you were 16.

"You shouldn't have gone there, we don't know if they're listening" You explained as soon as he came in through the window.

"I-uh,sorry" He's had months to think about what to say to you, but now that you're in front of him he's at a loss for words. No speech he had prepared came to his aid. "I didn't think about that"

He reaches for his bike helmet, undoing the buckle under his chin so he could drop it and see you. Or mainly so you could see him, maybe it was selfish of him, but he wanted someone to see him, look him in the eye and not be scared of him. Jason wanted to know if he could still count on you for that.

"I'm so sorry," You started to sniff as soon as you saw his face, wiping the tears with the sleeves of your sweater "I never should've said those things to you"

"No, I'm sorry"He finally took a step closer to you, pulling you in for a hug "I'd never forgive me if I were you"

"I don't think you're like him at all, I'm sorry I told you that" Your cries turned into sobbing, and suddenly you couldn't hold back any emotion anymore as you set the waterfalls of your eyes free. It was like a dam broke when you saw him, and everything you've been pushing down was now out in the open and you couldn't control it. He let you cry into his chest, wrapping his arms around you and rubbing your back to comfort you. After a while, when the sobbing didn't seem to calm down, he guided you to sit on the bed. Wiping the tears from your face with his thumbs. Kneeling down in front of you, he told you to take deep breaths, helping you relax.

"Baby," he whispered, kissing your knee over the jeans you wore "I keep fucking everything up with you, can you forgive me?"

You nodded, still tearing up and opening up your arms, so he'd come up and hug you. He does so, pushing your back to the bed and laying on top of you in the process. You're about to say you're sorry again when he kisses you. He stops, giving you a second to tell him to fuck off and looking for a response in your eyes. Lucky for him, you understood his silent question and nodded as your fingers ran through the back of his hair, and he lowered himself once more to kiss you saying, "I'm sorry, I'll never do that again to you"

So with Jason finding himself sleeping and waking up with more energy, your little rendezvous started. He's only realizing now that he has been giving you a wrong impression all this time. He sighs before, in a rare flash of vulnerability, he tells you what he thinks.

"I've been trying to make it up to you," his eyes dart to the floor, he's got every right to still be embarrassed about kidnapping you and what he made you do "make you hate me less"

The closest he's been to opening up like this was that one time when he had you wrapped under his arms, your skin touching his, and the question slipped from his overworked mind through his lips: "Are you scared of me?" You shook your head no, pressing a kiss to his scarred chest as you drifted off asleep. "No, no I'm not. We're okay," you had mumbled in response.

"I don't hate you, Jay" Music to his ears, he even contemplates asking you to say it again

"But you cry every time we meet"

"I-" You don't want to admit he has a great point, besides now that you think about it, this is the first time you ever said no to him "I have my reasons, besides you cry too, does that mean you hate me?"

"No" He defends himself, damn it, he thought he was hiding it well "I could never hate you, I love you no what ifs"

You smiled sweetly; that was what you said to him once. Many many years ago, when he was still Robin, it felt you were both completely different people from that distant memory where you told him "I love no what ifs, Jay". He had laughed then, now you doubted he would ever be that joyful again.

"Come on, you used to tell me everything," You encourage him "tell me something, anything"

"Anything?" He pushes your hair back, and you nod eagerly "You don't look like a Marianne, or a Penny, or any of your other aliases"

"Really?" You raise an eyebrow in fake disbelief, you never felt those names suited you anyways"Does my real name fit me better?"

"Yes," He whispers with his hand cupping your cheek. Even if your situation is not the best or what he'd hoped for when you first met, he's still glad to have you around. Sometimes, he remembers all the dreams and plans he had and holds back from scoffing when he recalls how he already made his world spin around you before you even kissed.

"You know," Now your hand caresses his scarred cheek "my offer still stands, I can try to get rid of your scar if you want to"

He blinks, not knowing how to take your words. Did it bother you? Did it make you like him less? He takes your hand off his face, and with that, he withdraws the hand in yours. Your expressions turns sadder, he can tell, so instead, he opts to deflect the conversation as he usually does.

"Can I ask you something?" He changes the subject, and you nod, allowing him to do so even if it's exhausting at this point "Would you ever want to get out?"

"Jay-" you sigh, knowing where this conversation is headed. You couldn't leave with him, no matter how badly you wanted to. "You know I can't"

"I asked if you wanted, not if you could" He insists, secretly hoping you give him the answer he expects. Give him a sign of how important he is to you, he'd drop his Red Hood persona in a second if you asked. He's learned his lesson after being the knight, and he's been trying to redeem himself by taking out the bad guys in Gotham instead of working with them.

"Of course I want to but-"

"We could find a way out, I-" he doubts but decides to push through "want more than this"

"Hm, you want me to be your real girlfriend?" you hum, your expression softening and your shoulders relaxing as you played with his hair, him leaning into your touch which he finally learned to enjoy. "You'll finally take me out on a real date?"

"Yes, everything," He closed his eyes, relaxing even more. His tone also weakened, becoming almost a pathetic whimper as he made promises to you "whatever you want"

"You'll be honest with me?" You question, your free hand going to the other side of his face, making him look at you.

"Yes, I promise" He replies, holding your gaze "We'll work something out"

"Okay, I'll get you as much information as I can." You nodded, maybe you could hold onto the hope that he'd put his brain and abilities to good use and he could find the way out that you couldn't. Maybe two heads can think better than one alone.