#i should try actually writing out a script instead of writing all the ideas i get in a google doc

[pika-blur]

every year my art gets sexier and sexier

[pixiesfz]

Omg I love your recent Kerstin fic. Would you consider doing a part 2 where we actually see Kerstin get jealous due to Courtney? Maybe some smut?

yes, yes, yes yes yes.!

jealousy k.c

plot: you and courtney become friends after being ex's for so long and kerstin gets a little jelly about it.

warnings: smut, public, part 2 of teammates

You were healing.

With the help of Kerstin of course.

You didn’t realize until the recent international camp where Australia would vs Uzbekistan when Courtney walked in and instead of a feeling of heartbreak washing over you, you finally saw her as a normal teammate, a friend almost.

“Media duties!” Macca called out with a grin as she held her phone and the tiny microphone which had some of the girls groaning.

“Partner up!” Allanna yelled from behind her she yelled and you were at the food table putting spaghetti in your bowl, meaning that when you went back to your table everyone was partnered up except for Courtney whom you both made awkward eye contact with another and Kyra coughed to save you both from it.

“I could switch” she offered to you but you shrugged your shoulders “It should be fine” you smiled and made your way over to her “Hey,” she said softly “Hi” you smiled, excited that you were finally feeling like her teammate again and not her ex.

“Excited for the games coming up, going to your homeland soon” she pointed out and you smiled “I haven’t seen my family since the break so I’m pretty excited, I’m giving my mum about 10 seconds before she starts to cry” you laughed and she joined you.

After a few seconds Courtney turned towards you “This is nice” was all she said and you nodded “Yeah” you breathed out and the two tall girls from your team walked over to you both with whiteboards “You have been chosen” Macca said in a weird voice you could only hear in star wars and you tilted your head “sorry I don’t speak Chewbacca”.

“C'mon” Allanna sighed and grabbed your hand, walking a bit faster so you were out of earshot of the other two “Are you okay?” she asked and you nodded “I’m okay” You smiled “Yeah?” Allana asked with a smile “Yeah” you confirmed and hugged into her side where she left a chaff kiss on your head.

“You know I didn’t like the idea of Kerstin taking you after what happened at the World Cup but you and her are really good together, even on the field,” she said to you and you blushed “C'mon let's just do this interview”.

You and Courtney both sat down together in the media room as a camera guy cleaned the camera Mackenzie held a script behind it and Allana held the mic. “Why did we need to clean the camera?” Courtney asked “Raso and Ellie did a try not to laugh challenge” the guy piped up and you laughed at the idea “oh that is chaos”.

“So you’re just gonna do like a ‘who’s most likely to’ kind of thing yeah?” Kenzie asked and you nodded and the camera started rolling.

“All right, who’s most likely to forget a teammate's birthday?” she asked and you wrote down Kyra’s name and turned it around at the same time as Courtney as the room erupted in laughter “Y/n” Courtney nudged your shoulder “what” you turned to her as your faces were close.

“It’s only out of us two”

Mackenzie and Allanna’s laughter filled the room again as your eyes bulged “Sorry Kyra!”.

“Who did you write anyway?” you asked as you rubbed Kyra’s name out “Me, you were always good with dates” She shrugged, and you nodded with a smile.

“Most likely to end up on Broadway?”

You both turned around your whiteboards to reveal your name “Me” you smiled “Fun fact: before I went into footy full time, I was always in my school musicals and local ones”

“And was even good at them” Courtney chimed as she remembered going to them.

“Most likely to go on Love Island?”

You thought about it for a second and then wrote down Courtney’s name, not sure if she would take it offensively but when you turned it around she laughed and you saw your name on hers “What?” you asked “Pretty people do well on Love island” Courtney pointed out with laughter and the comment went straight over your head “no you would do well in all like the challenges they do, you and your partner would dominate” you pointed out as everyone in the room was now laughing.

You both waved to the camera still laughing at each other as the cameraman turned it off.

“Well, at least I didn’t get water all over me this time”.

That night after dinner you laid on your bed with the phone in hand where Kerstin was “So how was tonight?" she asked after having a conversation all about her first couple of days "Good we did some media shots and I was with Courtney" you explained

You were too busy explaining your story that you didn’t see Kerstin's eyes when you mentioned your ex-girlfriend. “I miss you,” she told you with a smirk “Babe it’s been a week” you laughed but her stare didn’t change “I miss you too” you admitted with a smile.

“You getting a tan up in Spain?” you teased, and the girl smiled “Actually I was thinking we could come up here next break” she admitted and your smile widened “I’d love that”.

When you both hung up the phone for the night you saw that the admin had posted the video of you and Courtney, but you paid no mind to it, knowing what had happened in real life.

Kerstin sat in her bed and watched it, her eyes traveling to Courtney when her arm grabbed you and swivelled you around and told you that you were playing the game wrong. Then it went to her staring at you for a reaction whenever she turned her whiteboard around.

“Pretty people do well on Love Island”

Kerstin's eyebrows shot up at the blonde girl's (her words to her girl) words, she tried not to but her finer swiped up to see all the comments that had already flooded the video.

‘did they get back together?”

↪ we don’t even know if they ever broke up.

↪ isn’t she dating Kerstin

↪ just a rumour, just friends I think

↪ y/n and Courtney is an Australian power couple

↪ Kerstin and y/n are slow launching

↪ how many girfriends does this woman have?

Kerstin shut off her phone and put it on her bedside table with a groan.

She trusts you with every bone in her body and she knows you would never ever cheat, especially with Courtney but right now all she wanted was to push the blonde Australian away so people would know you were hers.

And hers only.

Tony took you off after 60 minutes, scoring two goals and assisting Mary for hers, you had the win in for sure and you helped your team make your way into the Olympics, jumping in joy from the sidelines when Caitlin scored her hattrick.

The game finished 7-1 and the Matilda’s team were singing random songs in the change rooms to celebrate. “Congrats” Courtney said as you walked in “thanks for the assistance” you smiled as you thought back to the first goal of the match.

You were on the wing, free as your defender got slightly confused and ran onto Raso. Courtney caught your eye as she dribbled and kicked with her right foot from their square to you where you hit it from your chest back down to your foot, giving you a clear way for a boot, which you did and thankfully the ball went in.

You jumped around in excitement as the team jumped on you, Courtney as well who lent her hand out to pick you up.

You walked away back to your cubby as Courtney watched you.

Allanna picked you up as you walked over “Can’t believe Tony took you off right before you got a hattrick” she groaned “It’s fine, he told me he wanted me fit and healthy for the Melbourne game cause he’s keeping me on for the full 90” you smirked and she gasped and smiled “Chicken!” Caitlin cheered over and sat down next to you “Got good news for you”

“What may that be?”

“Viv and I figured out that we and the Netherlands are gonna be at the same airport at the same time!” she told you quickly and you jumped up “fuck yes!” you cheered, ecstatic that you get to see your girlfriend.

“Alrighty girls!” Tony walked in “pack your bags cause we’re leaving bright and early in the morning!”

You weren’t usually a morning person but the idea of you seeing Kerstin again had you waking everyone else up to be quick, you even bought mini a coffee as Harper may have kept her up.

“Thanks, darl” she complimented you with a thankful smile as you walked together, Harper deciding to jump into your arms as you all walked onto the bus.

“Want y/n” she turned to her mum who shrugged “Take her,” she told you with a smile as you and the little one both cheered.

“You are happy,” Harper told you as you both sat down and you smiled “I get to see Kerstin” You smiled and the girl put her mouth in an ‘o’ shape letting out a little sound “I like Kerstin She gave me lollies” she smiled as she remembered when you took Kerstin to a ‘Tillies’ night out.

“That did not make your mummies happy,” you told her as you remember Kerstin apologizing as she didn’t know that the lollies she gave her had so much sugar in them.

The two of you fell asleep on the bus till you were shaken awake by her mother “I can still hold her” you promised her as you all walked in, quickly going through security with the little one stuck on your shoulder.

She didn’t wake until we all put our bags down “Kerstin” she mumbled and pointed before you turned around and indeed saw your girlfriend in all orange walking towards you, a slight sense of dominance as she locked eyes with you.

“You ruined my surprise little one,” she told Harper before wrapping her arms around you, squeezing you tight before pulling back and looking at you holding a child. “I look like a mum don’t I” you laughed

“milf”

“Kerstin” you scolded and grabbed her arm “C’mon let’s take her to her real mum” you smiled.

Although you loved the little girl, you just wanted to be with your girlfriend for the little time you had.

Dropping off Harper to Mini was easy but it was as you walked by your team members that Kerstin looked around for the blonde who was already watching you pass Mini the child, Kerstin didn’t like that.

“I have to go to the toilet come,” she told you, dragging you off.

You lightly scoffed “You need to learn how to control your bladder”.

You watched as Kerstin held you tight, turning from the regular girl's toilet last second to the disabled, throwing you in and quickly closing the doors behind her.

“Kerstin this is the-“ You were cut off by her lips on hers, moaning into her right away from the impact “Kirsten” you breathed out in between kisses, she simply shooshed you and travelled her lips down your neck, pushing you onto the sink “jump” she told you her hands grabbing your ass as you did and lowered you onto the bench top.

“we’re in public” you breathed out as she sucked onto your neck. She took her head away, looking at you with lust “I just want people to know what’s mine” she told you with a shrug as if it was the easiest thing to say in the world but you felt hot at the words, or maybe because it was the way her hands travelled up your legs as she said so.

“I am yours,” you told her and she crossed her head and tutted “Not everybody knows that,” she said and you thought back….Courtney.

“Are you jealous?” you ask as the woman's fingers played with your waistband “I don’t want anyone thinking they have a chance with you” She smiled and started pulling your shorts down, your underwear along with it, throwing it on the floor before her hands went under your thighs, pulling you towards her “so wet” she smiled, kissing up your legs.

“Did she ever make you this wet?”

You gasped at the words of your girlfriend, a new side that you had never seen of her, and you loved it.

“no” you mumbled as her kiss grew closer to where you needed her.

“Good girl”

Kerstin started slowly with a slow lick through your folds, moaning at the sight of her before she went in again, faster

“Oh fuck” you stuttered, your hand now tangled in her hair that she wore out, biting down on your lip to stop yourself from moaning.

But a buzzing sound interrupted your bliss.

Courtney.

“Answer it,” Kerstin told you before entering a finger into you.

“I-“ “Answer it or I won’t go any further” Kerstin looked into your eyes, silently telling you that she meant it.

“fuck” you cursed before pressing answer and lifting it to your ear as Kerstin eagerly watched you from underneath.

“hey” Courtney said on the phone “hi” you responded and Kersten started moving her finger slowly, you bit onto your free finger to stop yourself from any noise.

“Called cause you’ve been gone for a bit and we have to board in like twenty minutes” she said through the line “Lani said you could be with Kerstin but I just wanted to make sure”

At Kerstins name being dropped you looked down to the girl who was pumping her fingers into you, entering a second finger that made you gasp.

“Are you okay?” Courtneys voice rang out

“yep” you answered quickly, maybe a bit too quickly.

“okay uhm I could find you”

At the words Kerstin sped up and you moaned out into your hand so it was muffled “That’s-“ you started but stopped “That’s okay I’m good, be there in five-ten! minutes” you said but the squeeze of Kerstin's hands on your ass told you that you were going to be a bit longer.

“oh okay, well tell me if anything changes” Courtney offered and you nodded your head frantically, trying so hard not to scream out your lover's name “Yep okay bye” you said quickly before smashing the decline bottom and placing the phone on the table.

You took your hands in Kirstens hair again as you finally were able to release “oh fuck yes Kerstin” you breathed out as she let you ride out your high. When done you pulled her up by the front of her top and kissed her, lips molding together as you could taste yourself on her lips.

“You are so jealous”.

[nqmonarch]

Valentines Day w/ HSR Characters!

Doing Calc homework and am very stressed, i can feel it everywhere in my body. the math is just not mathing mentally today (i looked at trigonometric identities today so maybe thats why)

Just writing out some messy ideas to take a break

Btw if u sent in a request and I haven't answered it yet I am working on it thank you for your uh question ask thingy i appreciate it, i like to know what people like to read bcus tbh i like to write anything altho jingyuan gets like +10 points cus he fluffy

Valentines Day With Some HSR Characters (Jing Yuan, Blade, Dan Heng, Stelle)

Jing Yuan

Jing Yuan is old school romantic. You cannot tell me he wouldn't arrive home with a big bouquet of roses (does HSR even have roses?) and 20 other gifts, including but not limiting to boxes of chocolate, teddy bears, and at least one gag gift. There's gotta be at least one, he'd make a dad joke out of it too.

Then he'd reserve one of the best restaurants on the Luofu and bring you there. He'd probably have booked a private room, thank goodness because no one wants to hear the general continuously compliment you until you're a puddle on the floor. What he is best at is attacks. But if he gets a compliment in return he'll freeze up for a moment before playfully returning it.

Jing Yuan doesn't put on his normal coy facade today, instead he just embraces how much he loves you because he's happy to still have you in his life.

Blade

Blade does not know it's Valentine's Day. It's not his fault, cut him some slack. Anyway Kafka probably reminds him that it's Valentine's Day about half way through the day to which he goes into a silent panic. You can't tell he's panicking he's just staring at the wall with a blank face, he actually looks like he wants to murder someone.

The two of you end up celebrating though! He... pulls something together, it really is something. Sure he smells like blood and the waiters are scared, and taking over this restaurant for a Valentine's Day dinner was definitely not in the script but... It could be worse. He's trying his best, really.

Afterwards you and Blade share lots of cuddles! Something he's pretty good at! Holding you just tight enough, and keeping you close to his side-- you just won't be able to get up if you want to get water or anything. He doesn't say too much but you can feel the love in each caress.

Dan Heng

Dan Heng doesn't really like going out, why would he when all he needs is right by his side? So the two of you stay on the express in the archives. What matters isn't where you are but the company. He'd probably get you a few trinkets from different places he's collected over the years, a necklace, a sick looking compass, whatever fits your vibe.

Dan Heng would probably also write you a love poem, and make you read it or awkwardly recite it in front of you. If you read it out loud though he will get unbelievably embarrassed and snatch it away from you. He'd give it back but he'd take some coaxing, be nice okay? His face is already red.

Then when the night draws to a close the two of you would curl up together on that sorry excuse of what he calls a bed. The majority of your body would be on Dan Heng's using him as a pillow, and his arms would be wrapped around your body keeping you still and warm.

Dan Heng's bed is not it man. Personally, I'd get back problems.

Stelle

"You are the one who deserves the golden trash the most," Truly romantic words from Stelle as she hands you a golden trashbag. That is just the first of the gifts she gives you tonight, and the one that's most valuable to her. It's the thought that counts right? You still have no idea what she's talking about when she mentions fighting Sampo as a trashcan...

The two of you spend a romantic night together, walking down the quiet streets of Belobog, and-- did Stelle just investigate a trashcan again? You should be used to this. On the bright side, every time she gets something cool she comes up to you with the biggest smile on her face, it's beyond adorable. Sometimes the trashcans even have good stuff, like a scarf Stelle lets you wear that thankfully doesn't smell like trash.

It's just good to spend time with the person you love. She spends her time catching you up on everything new from her adventures, and when it's too cold to stay out any longer the two of you head to the Astral Express. Where you shower together and then doze off on one of the Express' couch cushions while playing games. Your head rests against Stelle's reminding you, you're never alone.

Okay I need to get back to homework, fun break thanks guys. Imagine being alone on Valentines Day couldn't be me, I have my Calc Homework. It told me I was integral to it <3 legit peak partner material.

[dreamlifebunny]

bunny's ✨digital detox✨ + manifestation challenge!

hi friends! i've decided to do a little "dopamine detox" so that i can become more present in my day-to-day, connect with myself and my passions, and apply the law. instead of leaving you without any posts, i thought i would turn this short absence of mine into a challenge so that you can join me if you're interested! this is going to be a very simple challenge that mostly focuses on regaining joy in your life, but i hope it can bring you inspiration and peace.

purpose of challenge: to help your brain enjoy simple things again and fill your life with more joy, to get off of social media and apply the law, and to manifest anything you desire. as you can see, this is mostly a challenge to reconnect with ourselves and what brings us joy, but manifestation is the added bonus of this challenge!

step one:

delete or hide apps on your phone or laptop that involve mindless stimulation. for me, this includes tumblr, social media, checking things that give me notifications like my email, etc. normally, tumblr wouldn't be included in this because i use it for learning about the law, but part of this challenge is about getting offline and actually applying the law, so for now i will be deleting it.

step two:

make a list of activities that bring you joy that don't involve mindless stimulation. here are some ideas of things that i like to do if you're having trouble coming up with your own list:

scripting my dream life and coming up with cute scenarios in my head

writing a letter to a friend and decorating it with my own art or stickers

reading a fiction book and getting lost in the story

reading a non-fiction book to learn things about my passions and interests

singing and playing instruments

journaling or filling out writing prompts

going for bike rides or long walks with music

playing fun video games, but not for hours on end like i normally would heh

step three:

decide what you are going to manifest and choose your favourite methods to fulfill yourself! remember, this challenge is about connecting with yourself and what you love, so pick the methods that make you smile. i really enjoy daydreaming about my desires and feeling every emotion in my body that comes up and knowing that my desire is real.

REMEMBER: this challenge is primarily about doing a digital detox to give our brains more happiness. the main goal isn't to manifest, but it is SO much easier to manifest when our brains aren't constantly stimulated and consuming information. our desires manifesting is an added bonus for this challenge!

step four:

as you engage with your life and connect with awareness (who you are at your core) and as you enjoy activities that bring you joy, remind yourself in whatever way feels best to you that you have all of your desires, and that this extra space you're giving your brain is allowing more space for your lovely desires to show up in your life

step five:

report back during the end of any three-day period from when you start this challenge with your results! results could include how you feel, what you learned about yourself, what you manifested or realized about your manifestation, how your days looked without constantly stimulation, or anything you wish to share!

important note:

detoxing from constant stimulation is a HARD THING TO DO! they design apps to make us addicted, and your need for constant stimulation is not your fault. if at any point this challenge brings up feelings of shame or struggle due to the addiction of constant stimulation, make sure you are compassionate and loving to yourself; you're doing a wonderful thing as a gift to yourself and are a good person who is doing something very tricky, and you should be proud that you are even giving it a try. you are strong and badass and deserve the world and all of your desires! if at any point you need to dip out of this challenge, make sure to pat yourself on the back and thank yourself for trying it and know that you can always do it again in the future if you want to c:

love you friends! i am so excited to see the results of this challenge. i am proud of you, i am inspired by you, and i can't wait to see you all soon! 🥰

lots of love, bunny 💕

[doodlinge]

my writing tips, that i think people will find useful:

- write dialogue first and THEN make a scene around it.

i like to do this sometimes for multiple reasons. first, if you’re in a flow of good ideas, getting dialogue done will be a future GAME CHANGER. you don’t have to be stuck fussing over little word choices because you just do it when you have a good idea, and it works! fuss over it now, save time for descriptions later. second, the characters you’re writing usuuallly wont be able to read eachother’s minds. we people do everything by communication and talking! so, map out what you want your scene to look like through dialogue! i like to do mine as a screenplay or movie script, so that way i can ensure that the characters are speaking Like Real People (tm). and THEN I READ IT OUTLOUD >:)

- map out your chapters before you start to write. seriously, do it.

so, personally, my favorite part of fanfiction and writing is the planning stage. and i like doing it on paper, but we’ll get into that after this. first, you get the idea, the spark in your brain that could make an AMAZING story, comic, or au. that’s the general premise to work off of! write that down, if you need. next, do a VERY rough draft of what you want to happen—specifically, the 3 main points of your story: the beginning event, the middle event or climax, and the ending event, or your point A, B, and C. work off of and build up (or build down) from each of these core events of your story, planning the small events that lead up to The Big Guy (or B). these ideas or premises for each leading event can and probably will be VERY, VERY rough, but once you’ve got the rough idea of what will probably happen done, you can get to work on MORE PLANNING (sorry guys. learn to enjoy it)

- PLANNING PART TWO BABY WOOO (plan out your chapters. and if it doesnt work when you’re writing it, that’s okay!)

this is what you will do before you write your chapters, that works for me way better than just going in with no plan. personally, when i started to write the fic i’m currently writing, i mapped out all the rough details that i want to happen in the climax chapter of my story, because most people find the middle the hardest part. since i already had an rough idea of what would have happened before the climax with my previous planning stage, i already was able to connect how all of the buildup would lead into the climax of the story pretty easily. every action in your story will have a consequence, big or small, and that all will lead up to your protagonist bursting into tears or the main couple confessing their love or the final, epic battle between the protagonist and antagonist! if, when you’re writing, the rough idea you had just isn’t working out, you can either a: redo it completely if it’s a huge problem, or b (my favorite): work around it in the moment and improvise. i ended up making my fic’s climax way better just because of the extra scenes i added in while writing, but since i had my original plan to work off of, everything was a lot easier.

- make every scene with a motive to accomplish

most people know this one, but i thought it was good to add in. whether it’s to flesh out the world around your characters with fun and shenanigans or to give the audience a little more insight into a character who will be useful in the future, every scene and every chapter should have a purpose. when people act, they also like to give their characters motivations, and for a while, i wasn’t sure how that could connect. however, now i understand. let’s say a character is trying to motivate another one to be brave and face their fears, but character a is actually only interested in their own interests. character a’s motivation is to be self-serving—they’re not as concerned with helping character b, but instead, they want to help themself. this shows a lot about character a! when you have a purpose for every story beat and a motive for each character, it can help you flesh out the character much better.

- show don’t tell (and what i interpret that as)

okay, so for a while, i had NO idea what show don’t tell even meant. i LOVE writing about my character’s thoughts, their interests, their perspectives on what’s going on around them. character analysis is one of the best parts, for me! but there are ways to show what a character is thinking without the use of heavy description. for example, take this part from the fic i’m currently working on right now:

the character i’m writing for had not mentioned her mom the entire chapter, but when you go back and analyze her character throughout it, you can see major hints that part of why she who she is stems from her trauma with her mother. when she connects to an older adult female figure and feels understood, the issues she has are shown and not told, clear as day. by using dialogue and trusting your audience to connect the dots about your characters, you can make a better-written story! remember motivations; sometimes, characters don’t even know they have the motivations that they do, and the audience has to figure it out based on context clues. leave room for intrigue and mystery! think; if you were this character in this situation feeling the way they felt, what would you do? what would you say? why would you say it, and what would that reveal about you?

- write one story beat per day and WRITE ON PAPER

the word count, for me, doesn’t matter. if the quality of your writing is good, and the pacing gives audiences room to breathe, then that’s enough! quality over quantity, in my opinion. if you’re not up for writing, PLAN CHAPTERS! plan scenes, plan events! plan dialogue, make it fun! that is writing too. for me, when i have the planning done, i go with the One Story Beat Per Day Rule. if you get one small event done each time you write, you’ll be finishing The Big Event you wanted to accomplish in no time. and if you’re in the middle of a big story beat and you just need a break, i’d say to take one…. and later, come back with a notebook and a pen and think. paper has helped me write better because the flow of thought just keeps going when i’m focused, and i think it might work for a lot of people.

- remember, YOU CAN DO THIS! MAKE IT FUN!

writing and finishing stuff is really, really hard. but if you get one small thing done for the characters in your story, comic or au each day… you’ll eventually have an amazing, finished story. make it fun for yourself. listen to music, act out the scripts, use color theory, analyze your characters and don’t make it a chore! every small step contributes to getting to the top. make something you will love to write, and that you will love to read. make something for yourself, because in the end, if you enjoy it, the audiences will enjoy it.

[eriyu]

my thoughts about zoraal ja

originally this was meant to be tags on a reblog of another post, but it ended up getting really long and being pretty negative and i don't want to inflict that on OP lmao.

one of the biggest criticisms i have of Dawntrail (maybe THE biggest) is that Zoraal Ja's heel turn felt completely senseless. i genuinely like the points OP made in the post this was responding to, but i think the execution was SO lacking. it needed to be foreshadowed better, or it needed more exploration before we get to Heritage Found, or just... treated with more care. there's so much that's just lacking for a major antagonist, and one with deep personal ties to Wuk Lamat no less.

we don't get to see him fail the rite. we're told he attacked an elector after the fact, but there's no chance to show off his thoughts or emotions in that moment. that could easily have been the point at which we see the weight of expectations come crashing down on him.

we then don't get to see how he got from storming off to knocking out Ketenramm for his keystones... i guess that's sort of a separate issue, actually, but how he even found out about about the keystones feels like a very odd omission to me.

we don't discuss any of that??? Zoraal Ja goes MIA, and we mostly just forget about him until he returns with an interdimensional army. there's like a casual one-off comment about him not showing up for Wuk Lamat's ascension. during that intervening time would have been a great opportunity to dig into his motivations, or his childhood, to understand how the family grew up with views him snapping like that.

he keeps repeating his aim of "uniting the world through war" and then the whole idea is just dropped hard. obviously plans change when you become king of another reflection, but there's no acknowledgement of it at all. not even a disdainful "so all that talk about unity was just a pretext for conquest after all."

then we just get people speculating about his motivations after his death. Gulool Ja, the Wandering Minstrel, they're just like "well maybe he felt this way..." but that's something we should have gotten earlier! show his motivations through his actions; don't just tell me what i'm supposed to get from the story after it's over.

the other post made a point about Gulool Ja Ja not being the father he needed, but it's not a point the narrative acknowledges: from beginning to end we just see Wuk Lamat's view of him as the best dad ever. i think it would have benefited not just Zoraal Ja's, but even Gulool Ja Ja himself's characterization (adding nuance!) for the script to have been more critical of his parenting?

overall, Wuk Lamat decries Zoraal Ja from the beginning as a warmonger, and Krile sees that he's full of darkness and malice... and after the attack on Tuliyollal, Wuk Lamat (whose entire thing is reasoning with people) declares that there's no reasoning with him; he just has to die. i guess the intention there was to emphasize just how serious this situation is, that not even Wuk Lamat is willing to reach out to him, but it really does not work for me. if you can reason with hundreds of years of bloodshed driven by entrenched cultural values, don't tell me you can't reason with your brother. that you won't even try. or at least show that you've tried and failed in the past! that would work too! but instead, we just write Zoraal Ja off as irredeemable and call it a day.

i just... see people calling Zoraal Ja's characterization "subtle" when it feels to me like it's not the writers being crafty so much as it's players patching the holes they left behind. i just find the writing frustrating. o|--<

[auraworkshop]

Hello Aura!! Aaaa, okay. I’m not here to write a success story yet! But to ask if I’m as close as I felt just a couple of moments ago.

So, I found about the void, the I AM, the golden state, aaaall of it a couple of months ago and I went through probably all the stages of someone trying to get the life of their dreams.

Overconsumption, doubt, and spurts of obsessive motivation that honestly took me nowhere. I have ADHD so the methods where I had to close my eyes, stay still and affirm never did a thing for me. I’d do them, six minutes at most would pass and I’d feel like a failure.

Procrastination got a hold of me and I’d feel more motivated to script and write what I wanted than actually go and try to get it because part of me knew I’d last very little. I tried yoga nidra, hypnosis and subliminals with very little progress and most likely because of my own laziness because in my mind if I was so powerful then why did I have to try so much. I have to mention I’ve used subliminals in the past and I’ve gotten little to no results so at night I’d cry and ask what is wrong with me. Since I know they work and the law is real.

Yesterday I came across a couple of posts with ADHD friendly methods where they say to let your mind wander and to let it do its thing. Plus others saying to mentally listen to music? But that’s not what I did.

I made a playlist of songs that wouldn’t bore me and I wouldn’t feel inclined to change the song. in total an hour or so. I knew if stayed still enough my body would be numb, I wouldn’t feel my fingers, my toes, etc.

If I concentrated in the songs instead of how tedious it is to stay still then it’d be easier for me.

I didn’t know if this was the floaty feeling everyone talks about until I decided to look into the black of my eyelids and try to see beyond that while affirming. my void is full of stars so I started to affirm they were slowly appearing and suddenly I did feel like my body was lifting up from my bed and numbness extended through my whole body including my face. Pins and needles like when your arm falls asleep, some of my muscles tensed and my heart started pounding for a second, I kept affirming but the song playing plus the excitement of feeling something overwhelmed me and I started to go back.

I paused the playlist and went to listen to epsilon waves and affirm but the idea of waiting for everything to happen again overwhelmed and frustrated me.

Was I close? How should I go forward? I sorta need advice directed at my situation because I can’t relate to most void posts.

Thank you for your time!!

I can relate to this so much. Trying various methods for so long with no result yet people were out there telling me that I must keep persisting. But I just didn't understand how to persist through the frustration of getting no result. It was only when I let go of this desire and I stopped caring about anything that anything and everything happened in the best way. I cannot even think of a single method that I followed to enter the void. I just stopped caring and let my mind wander.

You've already experienced a shift within your state of consciousness if you have reached a stage where you were listening to music and letting your body go numb. You need to let yourself flow without overthinking or overloading yourself. That is why it is important to start small because the feeling of going to the void state will come in fragments at first. That's just how the state of consciousness manifests itself. Let your mind wander and flow. Do not limit yourself with doubts of why it is taking so much time or why it's not working because that is exactly what it is, trust the process.

Everything you just experienced is a confirmation that you are exactly where you need to be. It is not a coincidence that you suddenly felt pins and needles throughout your whole body. This means exactly that your consciousness has started expanding, you've gone beyond your ordinary state.

You do not have to wait for it to happen again because you are already experiencing it. What you should be doing right now is continue with the process but you are going to be more patient. Be mindful and observe that which has changed in your perception, be aware of the subtle shifts ! 🤍

[vanmarkus]

This has been on my mind (obviously with everything that's been happening) and I'm curious if I'm alone in it. Do you sometimes think maybe they missed the window with buddie? That it should have happened in season 4 and maybe now they're trying to tell us it's too late? They keep digging the hole deeper for eddie, with shannon being the "the love of his life" he'll never get over and I just wonder if it'll ever make sense again in a way that's not a "consolation" because that would be unfair

so much to unpack here and I doubt you'll like my answer but I'm behind on asks anyway so why the hell not.

so here's the thing.

I am so SO happy that they didn't do buddie in season 4. a rushed season affected by covid with literally one episode lead-up? if we lean into the idea that the shooting/will arc was supposed to be that, that is.

(but mind you that has never been said or confirmed, they floated a bi Buck storyline that got shut down, at which stage we don't even know, could possibly have been before even having a script written for it and way before they even came up with the shooting arc itself.)

but if we lean into that then I would've found it lackluster, personally. I know not everyone holds the same opinions and that's totally fine.

but having two characters who have previously only ever dated and talked about women* suddenly kiss and start dating, without coming out, self-realisation, any other preamble aside from "you almost died/I almost died" which isn't exactly a new predicament for either of these characters...

(*in Buck's case the bi crumbs were huge and I always felt that it could've been a pretty natural progression if they just let us know that actually, Buck was out this whole time it just didn't come up on screen lmao but in all seriousness from a general audience standpoint? having both of them suddenly be together? even though, we had a lot of subtext, I just doubt it would've worked as well as it could work now.)

I mean sure, it might've been just the start and then they could've done a bit more background work for it in season 5, but even if Fox didn't shut it down (again, just a simple bi Buck storyline, not even two main characters on the show suddenly being in a queer relationship or leading up to it at the very least) the risk of not getting renewed for season 5 would've been higher than ever, so for them to leave it hanging at the end of the season would've been unlikely imo.

just to reiterate before moving on: all of the above is based on speculation and what ifs.

and about buddie in this current climate, well... I talked about this extensively so just to keep it short; though I'm more than content if not, I still believe that buddie will become canon eventually.

and ngl I find it kinda frustrating how little faith some of you have in the writing of the show when this season proved more than anything that they are finally back on focusing on the characters and actually have ideas about where to take them instead of having every single one of them running around in circles.

sure, some of the storylines are more than bonkers, but this is 911 and that trend started in season 1, so if you don't like that, then maybe this isn't the show for you. because this season with all the insanity and heartbreak was and is so far, quintessential 911.

both Buck and Eddie are well established, complex characters and they deserve to be taken on a narrative journey separately and together if buddie should happen. yeah, clearly neither character is in a place right now, but what's the rush?

we have at least one more full season ahead of us, that could be more than enough time to take them there.

and I know that anytime I say this there are at least ten people in the notes saying that we had 6 years of lead-up, so it wouldn't be rushed, but I can't help but disagree.

Eddie still has no idea how to be in a relationship and actually be in it. yeah, sure, he and Buck have been playing house for years, but the fact that neither of them seem to recognise that is a big issue on its own. and Buck, for the first time since Abby, is in a good place romantically. like the ship or not, it's canon that he's more content and happy than ever and everyone around him thinks so too.

now, we don't know how long this relationship will last and if/when it'll end and why. but if Buck got the chance to discover this part of himself without trauma and significant pain, with the people around him being supportive and patient, then I don't want Eddie thrown in there with a halfhearted realisation-to-kiss-or-confession within one episode either.

I have trust that if buddie is about to happen, it'll be handled well and in no way, shape or form would it be a consolation prize — especially because Tim is no longer bending over for the bullying of the fans and just goes by his own rules and only gives as much as he wants to. as he should.

honestly, this whole "gimme and gimme now" attitude is so stupid. and frankly, the notion that a popular queer ship would actually have a real chance to go canon has just relatively recently became a thing and now so many people almost feel entitled to it, which then spoils their experience with what's actually going on as a whole.

if your enjoyment of the show is solely dependent on a ship becoming canon? then maybe watch something else, because you're just setting yourself up for heartache, one way or another.

[silverolivia-upsidedown]

Hello! Just me back and being a huge nerd about the Eliksni So, while we don't have an actual official conlang for them we do have a VIBE for how their language might be written out by the design team. And it's been under my nose this whole time!!! Join me for this journey and exploration <3

First off let's take a look at what I've been seeing most places.. like, 99% of all the language we see is basically given to us like this...

(Yes, I might have obsessively taken a screenshot every time I see the in-game language DONTJUDGEMEOKAYTHISISASAFEPLACEFORSPECIALINTERESTS >.< But what we see here are probably something like a single word, or a word/symbol that has a meaning like the way that the Chinese alphabet has meanings for each letter. It could also be a tagger's name, but then that brings up all sorts of wonderful questions like WHO IS TAGGING THIS SHIT xD which is really just a nothing burger as much as it's a wonderful idea. It could also very much be a sort of... Like... you know how when you get a rubbermaid bin and you write like... "Christmas ornaments" on it, but then end up get rid of what's in it and just write the new contents next to the old contents? I feel like that might be what a lot of these are. Like the OFFICIAL, clean looking one says like, "Ether Tanks: Medium". And then the new spray paint next to it says something like, "Short Term Produce" or whatever. Or maybe it's like, the shortform name of the crew that this belongs too for shipping and redistribution, ala a quarter master trying to keep track of everything. 🤷

But I'm digressing. Here are those formal script and then the messy next to it.

Anyway. So the other way we see the language in very small snippets is like below, where we see there is a strong (but with notable variance) inclination towards a horizontal writing style instead of vertical. We can also see the general vibe or, um.... flow of the text and individual letters and how they deferrer when they are basically typed out and printed nicely instead of freehanded on the side of a wall.

Okay.

We have our baseline. Let's get into the weeds.

First of all we should not take into consideration a few of these for the rule of vertical vs horizontal because many of these are actually just turned on their side. And in general (and really what this whole post is about) right now I am focusing on the way the design team has decided the language should feel when it's written out. So very briefly, I am going to go over some not in-game official bungie material with Eliksni script on it, since I feel like this I have too, even though I kinda feel like, unless they specifically say "this is how it looks", the in-game art design is always going to be more... official? I don't know. We press forward!

There's more, but I think you get the idea. And yes, I included the Cayde comic because I feel like there's some interesting things in there.

Anyway, moving right along. I want to bring attention to two thing in particular. The first is that I don't think we should dismiss certain small lines in the spray paint versions as drips. I think they are part of the form.

I think they have meaning like in Japanese or other languages where each character has a story or a meaning and changes the way a word is said and also how that word might be used or changed when interacting with other letters/symbols.

The second thing is that there is a lot of repeating/flipping of the decals and in-game assets. But even with that, that I think there is a definite flow with the way the letters are allowed to smoosh into one another, but on a design level, while I think there are some basic rules, I feel very strongly those rules went into making the original script/decals/assets that the devs now use, and that when they go to write something like this...

they are literally just copy/pasting or going "qwertyuiop[]\';lkjhgfdsa" on the keyboard. Now, on to the exceptions of which there are three (as far as I've seen). For this next part I humbly request that you forgive my waxing poetically and also indulge my theories, I promise they are actually based in reality xD The first, and most exciting, and the reason I even posted this, is that I finally noticed the flags on the skiffs! And they.... have a FONT... And actual in-game font... and I think it was a happy accident the devs rolled into some fun lore.

This...

is house of dusk... but the FONT that whateverthissays is in is ABOSLUTELY in the style of House of Winter.

Now, I have two thoughts about this. The first is the happy accident I was talking about before which is that the original skiffs were all done in the design for House of Devils... and House of Winter in D1. But then they needed House of Dusk, who are mostly all the house of winter peeps who scattered after The Final Attempt (battle of six fronts). So they just recolored the House of Winter stuff and BOOM, they can keep the old assets and just recolor them.

The second idea, and one that is a DEEP LORE thought, that I don't think bungie actually cares enough about their lore to connect the dots for: is that as mentioned in a lore tab where Variks and I believe Fikrul are talking, there is a mention of a second "High Speech". And to me, it would make a LOT of sense for there to be a written version of that High Speech that would be a bit more flowery and have different characters. I think it would also make a lot of sense for that more special text be what things like House symbols are made out of, and also what one might put on their flags... like on that skiff.

The second is this little guy... he's very new and I only saw it recently, and I'm nearly 99.99% sure it's eliksni, only because there is a break in the "C" in the center and that's VERY eliksni.

That and it's on a crashed ketch that was in a mission we played within the last year lol

But this is.... totally different from everything else we've seen, and I honestly am totally stumped. It might actually be a representation of the influence that humanity has on the Eliksni. And that many eliksni (especially those in house of dusk) feel disconnected from their heritage, and more connected to the ruminants of humanity's golden age, and earth in general.

The other interesting little thing is something I found on a ketch that I managed to get on top of before it despawned. (at least that's what the file name makes me think I was trying to convey >.< past me is a dumbass and says "Oh, I'll know what this means later" spoilers, I never ever know lol)

Again, this is... just completely different from what we've seen before. Even the letters are different. The way they are grouped is new. I just wish I had more of stuff like this.

But theory crafting aside, we can really get an impression for how one could replicate or imitate the flow of the language. That's it! Thank you for coming on this little meandering exploration of the in-game text ^^..^^

[eldaryasharbinger]

MCL New Gen Ep. 6 Review!

I'm writing this today so I honestly don't know how much of what I wanted to say I still remember, but since I'm behind with my usual reviews, I think it's about time I catch up so that I can release the one for the controversial episode 8 as soon as I get the time to play it

As per usual, everything is below the cut!

As many might already know, I've had to play this episode THREE times since I struggled finding Jason so much,, That's also why with the following episodes I waited a couple of days before playing, so that I could find guides online to help me save AP,,

I remember really enjoying this episode despite having to play it so many times, but I also feel like I got to explore it a lot since I was trying to do things differently each time.

The first time I went and did everything with Amanda (I think...) and it was so sweet! Second time I went with Thomas, and this was the episode that really made me interested in him as a LI, so much that I kept hanging out with him during my third replay, and he was also the one who came "to my rescue" after Jason's scene

I think that as of now, having played episode 7 as well, this is still my favorite episode, due to all the activities, how the events aren't following a specific script and can be played randomly (haunted house/fortune teller and so on, they aren't in a particular order)

It was also really nice seeing our coworkers in different clothing, I only wish that Elenda and Brune had different outfits too, but I suppose that since they aren't LI's, they didn't bother (maybe after a certain number of episodes we can get different looks for everyone? Like updated sprites? I think it would be nice, it would also show the story and time progression)

I absolutely LOVED Amanda with her hair down, I sincerely can't get enough of her!! I also really loved her outfit and the orange compliments her well, I even made a joke about her resembling the Lesbian flag... I also kinda liked her outfit better than our own haha,, Maybe one day we'll get something similar... One can only dream about that "cardigan"</3

THIS HAD ME GOING CRAZY I SWEAR, because the possibility for an angst one-sided plot for my candy and Thomas is SOOOOOO appealing to me, so much that it inspired me a lot and I added it in her character bio... We can't be sure if the one the fortune teller was referring to is actually our candy or not, but I kind of hope so... If not, I'm sure it'll have a play in future episodes. When I went with Amanda it said something about her having a secret, which basically translates to = her being in the closet, so that's why I'm sure this is something we should keep it mind, wether the fortune teller was right or not (referring to what she tells Thomas!!)

"Boyfriend behaviour" That's what I wrote to remind me what I wanted to say about these screenshots HAHA, and even though I had to watch this scene three times, it still made me giggle each time,, I do also like the idea of them being just friends or a bromance, but I also started loving the idea of Devon x Roy after this episode so much, I highly doubt it'll be real but It would be so cool if characters could progress with each other if you're not on their route, again, very unlikely for Beemoov to do this since I was rooting for Mathieu and Koori SO HARD (still am, idc😭) but it never really happened (I never finished ANE so idrk if it does happen but I'm sure I would've known... I'm currently saving maana so that maybe I can finish the last episodes I miss all at once, I'm currently at 21k maana and I think I was on episode 10/11, so I need about 30k,,)

This was from the second or third replay, instead of going with Amanda I got curious and went with Thomas... I mean you all already know about this by now

I've said this plenty of times in many occasions but I'm genuinely so happy that the way Candy acts is well aligned with how I imagined Petronilla, it's so cute and probably the main reason as why I enjoy the story so much, the only ooc (out of character) moment with her was having to say that pets aren't like actual children 🥲 Neither Petronilla nor I, who has one 10 y.o. dog and two cats, would ever say such thing, but it was required for Jason's LOM so I had to endure 😭🙏🏻

The things I have to do for that British Cigarette...

I wish I had taken more screenshots of this but I was tired from replaying the stupid episode over and over again,, Still this was so unexpected to me, since I really didn't expect Thomas and Amanda to argue about it, maybe I could see Amanda being like this since so far Petronilla was hanging out and doing her work projects with her (whenever Jason wasn't an option) so I viewed them as being rather friendly with each other/close, and also because before this episode Petronilla barely interacted with Thomas, but the way he is suddenly interested... Maybe he got surprised to see her in more "darker" clothing (I started New Gen with a more demure look for Petronilla and slowly but surely made her into the alt y2k princess she is now... so to justify that I decided that she went to work in more simole clothing because she wasn't sure about dress codes etc, so that must've been one of the first times she felt comfortable and wanted to go in a more "her" outfit) and got impressed by how she was down to do every kind of ride... Just thinking about it makes me giggle and wiggle my legs 😭😭🙏🏻 (me, a grown adult, acting like this... well in my defense I'm 1) autistic and 2) I don't think my frontal lobe has fully developed anyways, I'm only turning 21 in November so I'll use that as an excuse...) (Also I'm sorry if it's getting confusing with all these parentheses,,)

The Illustration with Thomas and the scene playing before it was really good and I loved it! Again, this was the episode that made me fall for him,,

This was hilarious 😭 It also gave me the idea of making Petronilla a little gluttonous... I'm a little conflicted about this since she's diabetic and should probably check her values and stuff, but from having a diabetic best friend, I've learned to always have snacks with me for everytime he's got low values and asks me "so... you got anything super sweet to eat?" so I guess it could've been something similar, she had her values a little all over the place so she had to eat to balance it out, but ended up overdoing it because she really liked the food there... I'm also a bit uncertain since I'm still trying to learn more about this disability, both because so I can keep an eye on my friend and because I can make Petronilla as accurate as possible, I did decide to make her diabetic for the first reason and because I HAVE to know about diabetes to make a diabetic oc (I told my friend I made her like this in his honor too haha)

Although some people said that it was disgusting, I thought it was pretty funny how despite her being sick, Jason didn't get turned off or anything, he must really like her to also lend her his napkin (I can't spell the proper word lol) and even give her a bottle of water

Like, sure, say that "it's disgusting" but also stay there and help her out... He must be really into her if the gReAt Jason stays after "una figura di merda" like that one😭🙏🏻

And last but not least... This damned Jason illustration and moment 😭😭😭🙏🏻🙏🏻

I have to admit that he's looking rather unflattering (just to not call him ugly but it's now pointless since I did anyway) Like idk there's just something off with his face, but aside that it's very pretty! I still liked the idea of the Illustration, I'm also happy that the outfit for him was a "cute" pink dress, instead of something "sexy" or idk, I think it's much cuter if the "womanizer" is actually fascinated by a girl that isn't wearing things that are considered "hot" or whatever (my personal preference, not trying to imply anything, I just like pretty things over sexy things, might be because I'm ace, might not, idk)

And I think that's all I want to say,, I'm sorry if this review isn't "good" like the others, but it's been a couple of months now and I don't really know what else to say, I also did like the special scene because it fit once again with my idea of Petronilla, her doing whatever Jason wanted although she didn't really know why she was doing it when she could've refused... Denial is a river in Egypt typa thing...

But yeah, I hope this was still interesting to someone although it's very late and kind of all over the place,, So sorry,,

That being said, thanks for reading, I'll try to finish the one for ep 7 tonight so that hopefully I'll finally play Episode 8 tomorrow and be ready for it's review! Sorry for dragging things so much but I started writing this an hour ago,, I'm also too tired to get my pc and play it today, I'd rather go take the nap I wanted to one hour ago and maybe read a book later😭🙏🏻

[sarucane]

OMFD Spiral Parallels 2: Stede's Grand Entrance

Intro: What I love most about how season 2 builds on season 1 of OFMD is the spiral narrative structure. Ground is repeatedly and explicitly re-trod from season 1 to season 2, but in season 2 everything goes deeper than season 1. Meanings are shuffled, emotions are stronger and truer, and transformation is showcased above everything. The first season plucks certain notes, then the second season plucks the same ones--but louder, and then it weaves them together to create a symphony.

---

In Season 1 episode 3, Stede enters Jackie's bar in this overwhelmingly cringe scene. He's storming into a situation he doesn't understand, carrying with him fantasies of what piracy means and a frankly mad and somewhat gross attempt to maintain his class status. He's accompanied by a terrified subordinate who had to be strongarmed here and an actual prisoner.

He's totally going to get killed.

In Season 2 episode 8, Stede shows up in the bar again, and is totally going to get killed, again. He even says an entirely different and also deeply cringeworthy fantasy-pirate line.

But this time, everything that matters is different, and everything shows how Stede's grown.

Let's start with the fact of the entrance. Stede literally scripts the first one, writing terrible lines which he pressures Lucius into delivering. Lucius himself is clearly terrified, having been basically forced out in front (and he's about to get bled on again, emphasizing how physically dangerous this situation is for him). Stede is trying to impose his idea of how this world "should" work on the Republic of Pirates, reveling in the fantasy of piracy while also clinging to his lily-white social and racial status.

Then there's his entrance in season 2. He charges in headfirst to take on the very people who created that social and racial world he clung to in season 1. His situational awareness has rocketed up: instead of plowing onward as he does in season 1, he hesitates and pulls back a bit. His position in the world of pirates and the world high-class world of the Brits has changed completely, and he's no longer clinging to the very thing that suffocated him, washed him out (like white linen).

Then there's the people Stede enters with. In the first scene, Stede holds back at first and makes Lucius go first. When he comes out, he stands over to the side: even here in this attempt to enact his fantasy, he's not in the middle. The person in the middle is the tied-up prisoner, a British officer who was captured on a social call: another product of Stede's Anglo world, and a man who Stede himself complains about having a rapport with not long afterwards. It's three white men, and though two of the men are coded gay neither has acted on that at this point in the show. The costumes draw the parallel among the three: all white in varying degrees of cleanliness.

And now there's season 2. Stede enters first, comes out in front, and stands in the middle. Wise? Hell no, but it's a radical shift from when he was forcing other people to take the dangerous job. And this time Stede's flanked by Ed and Zheng Yi Sao, a man and a woman, both people of color wearing highly individualized costumes. The gay man Stede arrives with isn't a put-upon subordinate, it's Stede's boyfriend. They're all armed, they're all in this together.

And finally there's the reason Stede's here. In the first season, he's arrived almost by accident. He wound up with a hostage and didn't know what to do with him, so he wandered around until he got to Jackie's. He's trying to sell a person, which given the parallels between the British prisoner and Stede is a bit like trying to get rid of a part of himself. Boiled down to brass tacks, Stede's arrival here is a selfish act of trying to make the world around him as well as his own personality conform to a fantasy.

In the second season, he's here to save his friends. His crew, the people who trusted him.

Not bad for a Pinocchio.

[merelymatt]

To get my upcoming audio drama I Need A Miracle off the page and into the airwaves, I decided against the indie production scramble where everyone donates their time, and against crowdfunding – and instead I basically sent the scripts to @wirelesstheatre and said "What'll it cost to make this happen?", then compared that number to my savings and said "Ok, let's do this".

(It was obviously more businesslike than that, but that was the basic maths of it on my side.)

Here's why I didn't do it those other ways this time:

Why not the indie production scramble?

Scraping it together on a shoestring. Buttonholing friends to perform, using whatever recording equipment I already have to hand, doing as much of the production as possible myself and begging favours for the parts I can't.

In some ways this would have been the easiest option. It doesn't rely on anyone else's approval, or involve putting any new infrastructure together.

But! For me, for I Need A Miracle specifically, this was the option of absolute last resort, for various reasons.

First and foremost, I already have one podcast (@merelyroleplayers) that I run on this basis. I already ask a lot of my friends to perform on that show for nothing, on the promise it'll be fun and I'll buy everyone a pint afterwards. I think you only get one of those, or you should only get one. If you run every project like this, especially if you're calling on the same people each time, it starts getting exploitative.

Second, I'm trying not to exploit myself either, by which I mean, I've put work into writing this series (admittedly on spec), I think it's worthwhile, and I'd like to see if I can make some money in return for that work. And if one person involved in a project is getting paid, everyone should be getting paid.

Why not crowdfund?

There are sub-options within this option: subscriptions and patronage-style funding (like Patreon, Ko-Fi or Gumroad) and up-front project-based funding (like Kickstarter, Indiegogo or Seed & Spark).

I actually have been weighing up the idea of a Patreon or Ko-Fi for a while, not for I Need A Miracle specifically, but for @foggyoutline in general. At the beginning it would effectively be a Merely Roleplayers subscription, because that's currently the only Foggy Outline show. But if enough people pay a bit a month for bonuses like uncut episodes, that could help fund new projects like I Need A Miracle, which could bring in more listeners and more patrons, whose contributions could help fund the next thing, and so on.

But the problem I would have with any kind of crowdfunding model is, right now I'm only pulling a small crowd! I'm an unknown writer, Foggy Outline is an unknown player at least in audio drama. And it seems like to succeed with a crowdfunding campaign, you really need your audience already built and poised to give you money.

If I Need A Miracle takes off and finds its audience, the kudos off that might make crowdfunding an option for the next thing. But I just wasn't confident it would succeed for this show, at least without a load of spend on a consultant and advertising (which then eats into the campaign proceeds).

So go on then, where is the money actually coming from

Me! Supplemented by my Foggy Outline business partners, who are also my Mum and Dad. But the majority of the production costs for I Need A Miracle are coming out of my savings.

This is one of the reasons I prioritised I Need A Miracle over other audio drama projects I'm working on: because it's simple enough that I felt confident I could cover the costs myself if I needed to. There's no dialogue (only monologues), so it's not a complex edit. Most of the episodes take place in one location, with little action beyond the character speaking, so it doesn't call for elaborate sound design. All the episodes are under 20 minutes. For a more complicated production, I would have had to bring in some funding from somewhere, or convinced a producer to take on the production costs themselves. This one was, to some extent, designed (by me) to be more affordable.

It's worth saying that getting started wasn't just a case of getting a quote from Wireless and agreeing to pay it. Producer Sarah Golding read the scripts and wouldn't have taken on the project if she didn't think it was worthwhile. So it's not pure pay-for-play.

So the plan now is:

Sell ads and subscriptions and see how much of the production cost I can get back that way after the fact (I expect not all of it, but that's ok, because...)

Also think of that money I've spent as an investment in both this and future projects – by spending money on an amazing production company that's making the show brilliant, I'm getting something that's hopefully going to make this whole process easier next time. Because next time I can point to Wireless' confidence in my writing, and the quality of I Need A Miracle, (and hopefully its success and acclaim and awards and all its fans), to get someone else to put their hand in their pocket instead, whether that's listeners, producers or sponsors.

[marzipanilla]

Back at you for the writer asks! (*^^*) ♡♡♡ 12, 17, 19, and 7!

7 - Your preferred writing fonts

I'm pretty bad about this and honestly just tend to use whatever default is for whatever I'm writing in. I think I've divested myself of having a preference because I am instilling the habit in myself of writing when I have the idea instead of insisting I'll remember it later, which means with my garbage hand writing I actually write A LOT in the notes app on my phone. Not really a lot of font options there. I mentioned before that I used to write in 10 pt times new roman a lot, but I don't have much of a preference now. I think it comes down to font size and not too much style. I do not like writing with large letters. To the point that since I'm checking out how the new ellipsus program works and the fact that their (very useful) outline options makes a specific word MUCH LARGER than other words and it bothers me. If there is a way to change this I have not found it yet.

I guess I do have a fondness for Courier/New though I don't actually write in it all that much because I own typewriters and have done script writing in the past, and that is the standard font for that.

12 - A trope you're really into right now

Whump. Character studies. Hurt no comfort/little comfort. That category lol Look, the two most recent WIPs I've posted have been pretty lighthearted but what I've really been working on lately is not that vibe. I smashed out 3k of some very rough conversation between take-a-guess and I'm pretty excited for it, though I still need to get all the connecting tissue to that moment in.

17- talk about your writing and editing process

Chaotic mess. I write down snippets of dialogue and conversation mostly. Which depending on where I am when I get A Thought can mean it will be scattered across several docs. Or notes on my phone. And then I have to go digging for it later and hope I remember what story I meant it for if I didn't label it. I am trying to get so much better at labeling.

Which means I have the note 'leggy teeth out of prison' and know exactly what it means, but have the sentence 'He was an honest man, and he could be gentle, but I do not think I would ever call him kind.' and have no idea what I had originally intended with it and now I just scroll by it on my phone sometimes.

When it comes to new stories I tend to start either with A Very Specific Conversation, or just a specific description for an emotional moment a character is going to have in the story. A lot of times I am just working off of A Vibe because I write so many AUs. I generally don't outline, but I do write insanely out of order and will jump around between 'oh this should definitely make this happen!' or 'this scenario means THIS needs to be said but I don't know the context in which the characters are going to say it yet' or 'wouldn't it be fucked up if this happens?'. And sometimes that means I end up deleting a lot when I finally move on to that story moment because things have changed drastically, or I end up going back to the beginning and completely rewriting something in order to give that story beat better set up.

I mostly edit as I go, while I am writing I tend to re-read everything up to that point of the story to make sure it's fresh in my brain, and if I was smart and didn't post all of those chapters yet (I rarely am..) I'll do little tweaks along the way. I generally try to convince myself to at least get one sleep in before another edit before posting, but since I don't have someone around to wrap a blanket around me and force me to stop generally I'll do a typo pass and just post something if I feel it is good enough. Or if I'm mad enough at a story idea and just want it not stuck with me anymore.

19 - The most interesting topic you've researched for a fic

Okay hmm maybe the interesting physics rabbit hole I went down recently. Where I found out once you go fast enough your weight starts to not really matter. At least, there seems to reach a point where the pressure exerted on you doesn't make you any denser or something. I was trying to find if there were any layman discussions I could peak into about what would theoretically happen if two objects moving at the speed of light crashed into each other. Did not quite find what I was looking for. The scenario I am thinking of for the fic is just somehow worse and less worse than what I was hoping would happen? Anyway, Viltrumites are a fucking problem and I will never be over the 'mundane' things that have to be true about specific heroes in any media that is overlooked in favor of trying to fit them into a framework that makes it possible to fight them.

[weclassybouquetfun]

I'm seeing all of these headlines from critics about how ridiculous FAST X as if they are just learning what the Fast and Furious films are. They are ridiculous. And? So? Your point being? Are you going to write that Looney Toons cartoons are silly?

22 years, 10 films, countless implausible moments.

You're going to say the franchise is stupid because you have people driving through skyscrapers or parachuting with cars or even surfing on a car but you say nothing about how we're supposed to believe Paul Walker as an LAPD cop when no LAPD cop in the history of the force has ever looked like that?!

This is the real stretch of imagination.

FAST X. The X stands for X-TREME SPOILERS

THE GOOD -I like a bit of fan service and the franchise keeps doling out heaping helpings of it. We got Letty back, Han back, Owen Shaw, Deckard Shaw, Elena back (briefly), whoever the hell Lucas Black and Bow Wow played in TOKYO DRIFT, Hobbs back and now the gal - Gisele.

Their babies are no longer babies.

At this pace I can't even feel bad that John Cena's Jakob died because we didn't see his body. For all we know he could have jumped out the car when it exploded! We see Han's body and he still returned from the dead so...I'm just saying don't count your dead characters before they hatch.

-I loved that they tied this story into Fast Five because that film was my entry into the Fast and Furious films so I remember that one distinctly enough that I could appreciate how they re-did scenes to add the idea that Dante was in their orbit then.

-Following THE SUICIDE SQUAD's lead and relegating Scott Eastwood to bit player. This feels like they were just trying to help him retain his SAG-AFTRA health insurance.

-The twist with Alan Ritchson's character. They intro him giving a wall of exposition about how the "cult with cars" win everyone over and then we see him won over and I think, "Exactly. As it should be." But no! Mans was luring Dom into a false sense of security. Dom was probably too blinded by that tan Ritchson was sporting for some reason.

-Paul Walker's daughter Meadow having a small role. Wouldn't be la familia without her.

-Jason Momoa was having so much fun and he certainly made for an entertaining villain. I'm all in for a villain who wears nail polish and space buns. And I liked how they actually used his photos from his BAYWATCH: HAWAII and STARGATE ATLANTIS years instead of photoshopping it.

THE BAD -Momoa IMO didn't find a good balance between unhinged lunacy and camp. I wish he was able to blend the menacing aspects of the character into his character when he was being more flamboyant. I think an actor who pulled that balance off perfectly was Chris Pine in SMOKIN' ACES.

-I can turn my brain off, I want to be entertained. If I wanted to logic police these films I'd just tweet Neil DeGrasse Tyson and ask his opinion. That said, bad writing is bad writing and this film had some awful writing. The script was written by Justin Lin, Dan Mazeau (Wrath of Titans) and Zach Dean (The Tomorrow War). I like to think Justin Lin knew some parts of the script was absolute dog piss and quit because he didn't want to have to massage a performance out of his actors using those words.

Justin Lin when handing in the final draft to Universal.

-The CGI was so bad! Regressively so. It was like they were using 2001 technology in some of the big scenes.

THE REST A cliffhanger? Editors exist for a reason. You're telling me I am going to have to sit through another 2 hours watching Letty, Cipher and Gisele on their sub adventure through Antarctica, Deckard saving his mum, Dante acting like he's on RuPaul's Drag Race, Roman with the weak jokes (Tyrese isn't as funny as he thinks he is), then a race to hurriedly find a way to give Brie Larson something substantive to do and because everyone comes back, we will see the return of Mr. Nobody (Kurt Russell) and then shoehorn back in Rita Moreno to close out the film with another speech about family?

[my-castles-crumbling]

Hi Cas i wanted to ask for your advice because you give really great ones🥹

So we have this roleplay presentation and we only have one day to prepare and I'm one of the script writers, so obviously I was going around asking my friends what role they wanna play and stuff .

I got to this friend and tried to ask her questions but she was dancing and playing music so I snapped at her and told her to do those things later and listen to me properly, so ofc she got mad (cries) and stormed off.

I don't think I should've snapped at her, i just had so much in mind and the noises were really loud in the room and I was stressing so much. I wanted to apologize for it but I suck at words so decided to message her (ik it's a shitty way to apologize but I did try to talk to her face to face a few times but she kept glaring at me and running away.)

And before I could even come up with words to apologize she said something like it's not good trying to be a know-it-all and she wants to punch me. Maybe she's right but I'm not trying to be a know-it-all, I just want things to go smoothly. But those words really hurt cuz she was my first friend at my new school. I've been home schooled for four years so It's uh.. yeah.

I gave her advices (that are probably not listened) and helped her when she needed them but she said that instead of pointing out my mistakes and telling me what's right. That's what friends are supposed to do isn't it?

if I were to apologize I don't know how to approach text or face to face anymore

Sooo yeahhh, I'm so sorry if this is too long I tried shorten it🥹 I don't know what to do anymore, if you have any thoughts or advices please share🥹

Hi!

I totally understand where you're coming from because I've dealt with very similar difficulties, actually!

I think the thing is...some people just don't want to hear advice or opinions. When they cry or complain to you, they want you to empathize and tell them it'll be okay, but they don't want you to tell them anything more than that. And the thing is...everyone's different. It's okay for people to be like that. You get to decide how to respond to it! Do you decide that she's not worth keeping as a friend? Do you try to remind yourself what she needs in the situation?

When it comes to group work, it's a bit different, of course. If someone isn't doing something right, it's harder to keep quiet. But also, the way you deliver your suggestion is really important. Instead of saying "You should" or "I think you should" you could say "What do you think about if we do it this way?" or "I feel like we need to make this part better. Do you have any ideas about how we could do that?" By asking their opinion, it still gives them a feeling of independence and control.

As far as apologizing, I think you should definitely give her a few days. Then, if you can't talk to her in person, write her a note. Be clear that you never meant to offend her or imply that she wasn't capable. You were just anxious about the project and got over excited. Ask her if she has idea about how you can communicate better in the future (again, give her a say).

Hopefully, that'll help!

<3 <3 <3

[severeweatheralert]

Things I learned while writing two novel-length fics in the space of nine months

Or, advice I hope might be of someone use to someone out there, but all brains are different so YMMV. Ironically, this is probably the longest tumblr post I've ever written. Do let me know if you got something out of it!

Planning

You don't need to know every single plot detail at the start. It DOES really help to know roughly where you're going, plotwise and thematically, so it feels less like you're running straight into the great unknown and more like you're headed to some destination. Even if you don't quite know how you're going to get there, yet.

You don't need to know every single character detail, either. Favourite song? Favourite food? I couldn't name my own, let alone my characters'. What is important is a general idea of what makes them tick. What do they want? Why are they here? How do they think? (and if you do introduce details, save them in a notes file someplace, so you can easily find them later).

Outlines are great. Outlines are not the law. If you come up with something that works better than the thing you'd originally planned? Change it.

Scene setting

Remember that you're writing fic, not a movie script. That means you don't have an effects team to pay and you can make the entire environment do whatever you want. Forest fire on the horizon to match your characters' mood? Do it.

Trust that your readers' imagination works. You don't need to describe every single detail to set a scene effectively. Just pick out a few that give off the mood you want, and leave it at that. (Setting dependent, of course- a scifi setting will need more description than a classroom or a hospital room, where most people will have been in their life at least once). This goes for character descriptions too.

Sprinkle scene descriptors through the dialogue/action instead of starting with a whole paragraph of exposition. You'll pull people in quicker.

Research: if you're setting your fic in an existing place, it helps to do (some) research and incorporate that in the work. Simple things like incorporating the name of an existing retail chain or a highway makes your setting feel a lot more real. Google Maps is great if you're writing in a country you've never been to. Just hop on streetview.

Drafting

If you're trying and failing (multiple times) to write a scene, ask yourself if there might be a pacing reason for that. Is the scene necessary at all? Are you trying to start too early in the scene? What are you trying to establish with it, and could that maybe happen elsewhere in the story?

If you get stuck on a phrase/name you haven't picked/word you can't think of/detail you haven't yet researched: put something like [NAME] in brackets. Then keep going. You can come back to it later and you don't need to disrupt your writing flow.

Turn grammar and spell check off. Run a spell check when editing but don't get haunted by the little red line while drafting. A lot of the time its suggestions are bad anyway.

When writing dialogue-heavy scenes, it's sometimes nice to get the actual dialogue out of the way first, then come back later and add actions or descriptions in between to pace the dialogue.

Sometimes you'll have to draft a scene multiple times before it feels right. This is painful, but ultimately okay.

Feel like you should write but don't really want to? I like to set a timer for like 20-30 minutes, give it a go, and if I'm not into it by the time it goes off I'll go do something else.

Editing

Let a section sit for at least a day before going back in to edit. Give your brain some time to forget some of it. You can still draft the next bit in this time!

Sometimes it helps to set the text to a different font or to paste it into a different text editor. Trick your brain into thinking you haven't seen it before, basically. If you're brave, you can even use the editor of whatever website you're posting to.

This is when you run the spell check. But remember: you're allowed to mess with grammar and use words that the spell check says don't exist. "He deadpanned" is a perfectly understandable dialogue tag, for example.

Use a thesaurus! I like powerthesaurus.org because it has a dark mode. The main thing to remember is that you're using it to find synonyms that may fit your meaning/the mood better, not to find more complex words. Especially useful if you find yourself using the same word over and over in a section.

Practical things

Brainstorming on paper works WAY better for my brain than brainstorming digitally, for reasons unknown. Plus you get the fullfillment of using up a notebook.

Have a scraps folder for deleted scenes. Don't actually delete them! You can scrap them for good lines later.

Especially for longform work, keep notes. Things like repeated lines, relevant plot details, things you want to incorporate in future chapters: keep them somewhere where you can find them.

For writer's block: sometimes you need to let a story simmer for a bit. I like going for hikes or chewing on my plot in the shower.

I like having two WIPs with vastly different moods at the same time. One in posting stages, one in drafting stages. That way if I don't want to work on a very moody WIP, I can switch to the other and still get something done.

If you're writing longform work: you'll improve over time. Try to resist the urge to go back and edit the first chapters once they start grating at your perfectionism. Especially if you've already posted them.

Don't write the whole thing in one document if it's longer than ~10k. I like SmartEdit Writer to organize my fics. It's free.

Uploading

I'd recommend having a few chapters' backlog before you start posting. This way you a) know you like the fic enough to keep working on it for more than one chapter; b) have some backlog in case writer's block strikes or life gets in the way of writing; c) can go back and edit in foreshadowing or edit out plotholes as you discover them.

If you have (and want to give) a lot of content warnings, keep a list while you're writing the chapter, so you don't have to figure it out last minute before uploading.

Your works' stats (kudos/hits/subs/comments) say nothing about the quality of your work. This one is hard to internalize.