#i should take the meds for that but if i do then i'll be sleepy. and i still have to practice do a rehearsal and do a lesson.

[dianetastesmetal]

Me

[you-are-constance]

the smell of coffee is making me sick

[omi-boshi]

period cramps and a little bit of pining

your best friend omi comes over to take care of you during your period

tags: no plot just gratuitous fluff and yearning word count: 2.2k

through the haziness that comes from just waking up, you hear the muffled sound of knocking, followed by the click of the door unlocking. you poke your head out from under the covers, curious. the sound of footsteps and rustling just outside your bedroom door fill the space and truthfully, you should be more worried that a stranger has seemingly broken into your apartment. however, the lack of angry growling from your sweet great pyrenees and screams of bloody murder from the stranger soothe the concern that tries its damnest to rise above your grogginess. you stay quiet, curled up on your side, head still peeking out. the continuing muffled sounds almost lulling you to sleep, your eyes falling close. that's how kiyoomi finds you.

he pushes the bedroom door open. quietly, he pads over to the bed and crouches just beside where he can see your face. the concerned furrow between his brows softens slightly as he takes in your sleepy form. he debates waking you up, not wanting to disturb the sleep you're finally getting after a night dealing with cramps of the worst kind. he wishes nothing more than to indulge you as he always does but as your closest friend, he knows you have yet to get up and eat. and that takes priority. cautiously, he runs his fingers through your hair and down your cheek which you turn into, seeking the warmth radiating from his skin. the subconscious action disarms kiyoomi. he has to fight through the thumping in his heart to call your name until you finally start waking up. he watches as you rouse from your sleep, grumbling through the whole motion. it tugs a small smile up his lips. your eyes flutter open and the seconds that follow are punctuated by the stillness of the air as you stare up at him, slowly processing his presence. your eyes travel up his figure. the mask dangling from his right ear. the hoodie he wears — the one you usually steal from him. the fuzzy socks you got him for Christmas. the worn sweatpants you've told him many times to replace and yet he never does because it looks fine, you remember him arguing at some point. the memory of it makes you smile. your gaze trails to the soft curve of his lips, the moles partially covered by his damp messy hair — he must have showered before he came from practice — before finally landing on his eyes that quietly watch you. "hi," you finally whisper in what feels like eons. voice scratchy from disuse. "hey, sleepy head," he says just as softly, mirth coloring his tone. "what are you doing here?" "you texted me last night. did you forget?" you hum in confusion, sitting up slowly and pulling your arm from under the covers to look for your phone.

to omi!!! :] Yesterday 10:43 PM

omiii com e over tmrw :((( - from omi!!! :] Yesterday 10:44 PM

You okay? - from omi!!! :] Yesterday 10:44 PM

I have practice in the morning but I can come over after. Is that alright?

- to omi!!! :] Yesterday 11:07 PM

that work s yes!!! and im okya, just kinda in pain and loopy from the meds and sticky ;-; - to omi!!! :] Yesterday 11:07 PM

everything hurts n i cant sleep on my back but it's ok see u tmrw! - from omi!!! :] Yesterday 11:08 PM

It's that time, huh? - from omi!!! :] Yesterday 11:08 PM

Get some rest. I'll be there as soon as I can.

"oh," you mumble, as you scroll through your messages. "i thought I was dreaming." you put your phone down to look kiyoomi in the eyes, a tilt to your head. "i'm glad you actually came though." kiyoomi breathes in deeply, heart thumping so loud — at this point he's sure you can hear it. but of course, you are none the wiser as you continue peering down at him, sleepy smile on your face.

"of course, i would." he returns the smile. “anyway, i didn’t know what you wanted since you didn’t reply to me all morning.” he pulls out a paper bag that was sitting behind him. “so, i just got a bit of everything.” in your curiosity, you sit up straighter to look at the bag kiyoomi has brought. he starts pulling out its contents and showing them off to you with a dorky grin that grows the more items he shows you. there were donuts, churros, chocolates, cookies, mochi, bread of all variations, and a singular bottle of the tea drink you've been raving to him about the past month. "kiyoomi!" you yell, doubling over in laughter. "i can't eat all of this!" "well, good thing there's two of us," he rolls his eyes, grin still on his face. "in my defense, i didn't know what to get." which is a lie. sort of. because everything he got were things you mentioned craving the days leading up to this week. not that you needed to know that of course. "you'd ruin your diet for me, omi?" you pout, eye glimmering in amusement. "that's so sweet! come here!" you reach out to pinch his cheeks, cooing how your omi is the sweetest and kindest person there is and that people would know that more if you stop looking so grumpy, you idiot.he feels his ears flush and he pushes you — nudges, really — to the side, grumbling something about ungrateful spoiled brats. but he can't bring himself to actually chide you for it, not when you're high in spirits right now and he knows how the littlest things could set you off. he wants you happy for as long as your period lets you which isn't long; fickle as your moods are at these times. "alright, alright." he chuckles. "go freshen up and let's get some real food in you first before we eat the sweets," he stands up from his kneeling position on the floor, hand on your arm to pull you up, grunting as he does so. you groan as if remembering why he was here in the first place. you flop helplessly on the bed, boneless, unwilling to leave the inviting warmth of the blankets. "nooo," you whine, purposely obnoxious just to irk him enough to let you go. "i know what you're doing." he tugs again. "it's not gonna work." it's a losing battle, one that you fought valiantly 'til the end. your whining doesn't work and only ends with you thrown over his shoulder. you yelp, thumping his back with your fists in protest as he makes his way through the living room where your dog sees you both and follows you to the bathroom.

kiyoomi gently puts you down, righting your crumpled shirt. he chuckles at the look you send him. to him, you look about as threatening as a baby chick but he rightfully stays quiet. not taking any chances with your knees so close to his crotch. "there are some pads in the cabinet that i bought," he pauses to fix your hair that got messy from being upside down. "it's the kind you always have." you grumble out a thanks, still a bit peeved from being carried out of bed. kiyoomi was right, of course — you do need to freshen up — but you can still give him trouble for it. you're bleeding out and you feel all weird, sue you, right? "while you're here, i'll go heat up the food i got you — it's korean, by the way — and feed snowball too then we can do whatever you want after. sound good?" kiyoomi tilts his head towards you to see your face.

you don't answer immediately, still stubbornly holding on to the frustration of being forcefully pulled out of bed. but just like most things are with kiyoomi, it's a losing battle. again.

it doesn't take you long before you drop the pretenses and meet his gaze. what you see makes the fight in you leave all in one go. his gaze is warm with mirth and... something else. you don't know what it is but it makes you feel shy being at the receiving end of it. you are suddenly conscious of how sloppy you must look right now even though you know kiyoomi would not mind. in your rising embarrassment, you usher kiyoomi out of the bathroom, eyes not meeting his. snowball, who's just so happy to be there, follows kiyoomi out the door. a muffled boof! sounding through the door once you get it shut. you get your wits together and freshen up, taking extra time to deal with the flush on your cheeks that just won't disappear. kiyoomi is taking out the last of the food from the microwave as you come out of the bathroom, livelier now that you've washed your face. he greets you with a smile and calls you to the dining table. lunch is far calmer, a nice change of pace after the hectic ordeal of getting you out of bed. the strange shyness from earlier is forgotten temporarily as you both talk about nothing and everything; how volleyball practice went, how his courses are going, about the new show you wanted to watch with him. once you start feeling the cramps come up again, kiyoomi catches the change in your expression and decides it's time to go back to bed. he hands you the pill you take to treat the cramps and a glass of water. you give him a grateful smile and he ruffles your hair in return.

"go back to bed. i'll be there in a sec," he says, no room for argument. you feel a bit guilty not helping with the cleanup and you tell him as much. he only snorts and tells you it's fine and that it's what i'm here for.

it doesn't do much to abate your guilt but with the cramps only getting worse, there's not much of a choice to be made.

when kiyoomi comes back, he sees you curled up under the covers, eyes shut in pain. he grabs the rechargeable heating pad from across the room and nudges your hand with it. it's only then that you open your eyes.

"hi," you mutter, attempting to smile. "the medicine hasn't kicked in yet." you grab the offered heating pad. "hey, guess we're not watching that show then?" kiyoomi murmurs, knowing full well that you would want to sleep the ache away. you give him an apologetic smile which he only waves off. "i really wanted to watch it too," you mourn. "it's fine. we can watch it another time." he smiles kindly. the silence that follows is somewhat cautious, neither one sure where to go from here. usually, you would have invited kiyoomi into bed by now and he would groan his protest before reluctantly joining you, all the while you would be teasing him about it. but the shyness from before overtakes you and kiyoomi is unusually hesitant as well, eyes darting and feet shuffling in place.

he is the first to break the silence. "i'll head to the living room so you can sleep, okay?" he begins turning away from you. at his words, you hastily sit up. "omi," you call out. he looks to you, head tilted to let you know he's listening. you can barely hold eye contact as the next words stumble through your lips. "um, the-the heating pad falls off when i sleep on my side and, and you know how i can't sleep on my back because the bleeding would leak," you look away from his gaze. "do you... do you mind helping me?"

kiyoomi turns around, regarding you curiously. "and what do you want me to do?" knowing that words will fail you, you silently flip the covers and pat the space beside you. kiyoomi exhales and cautiously takes his spot on the bed, as if this is the first time he's done this. it makes you snort; your shyness and his hesitance, it's ridiculous. and yet you're unable to soothe your increasing heartbeat.

"and then?" kiyoomi asks, quietly.

shaking off the anxiety that's starting to take hold of you, you nudge his shoulder, urging him to lie down beside you. you turn your back towards him, reaching for his hand and slowly guiding it down to lay flat on the heating pad pressing to your lower abdomen. you swear you hear the sharp intake of breath over your shoulder; whether from the temperature of the heating pad or the action itself, you don't know.

kiyoomi is quick on the uptake and lays his palm fully on the pad. it takes you by surprise when he pulls you towards his chest that you can't help the little gasp you let out. "like this?" he asks, almost teasingly. the hesitance from before melting away from his tone. unfortunately for you, it does menacing things to your heart.

with your heart seizing in your chest, you hum your affirmative and relax in his hold. kiyoomi pulls up the covers on both of you and adjusts so that your head rests on his other arm. with the soft thump-thump of his heartbeat combined with the warmth from the heating pad and his body, you are slowly lulled to sleep. "we should talk about this, you know?" you hear just as you are on the brink of sleep and you only hum in response. you hear him chuckle, or rather feel the vibrations of it. And then lastly, a kiss to your hair. "another time then."

what comes after will be dealt with another time. for now, you will enjoy each other's warmth.

i wrote this on a whim because im currently bleeding out and everything hurts so bad and i wish i had an omi to take care of me ;;;;; I've got a more planned out fic that i can't wait to get out there i swear ;;;; pls take this crappy peace offering for now

[bellysoupset]

Sick Max + Caretaker Vince - Part 2

-----------------------------

Wendy was a Tylenol and a cup of chamomile tea into sleep when her phone started ringing, from across the room.

It was the age old technique of leaving her phone out of reach so she'd be forced to get up to turn off the alarm and not risk falling back asleep in the process. Normally she was such a heavy sleeper than even this didn't stop her from sleeping past at least two alarms.

So it was much to her annoyance when she pushed her sleeping mask off and it wasn't 8 AM as it should be, but instead dark out. For a second Wendy considered not getting up, however the ringing was insistent and she was too curious to just go back to sleep.

P.Magnt - flashed across the screen, over a picture of Vince all sweaty, cheeks ablaze and curls a mess, in his football uniform. Wendy's heart plummeted to her stomach.

"Vin? What's wrong? It's the middle of the night-"

"Hey, hey, hey-" His voice was steady and soothing and Wendy let out a sigh, settling back against the pillows, still upright, but not as straight, "easy, honey. I'm fine."

"Uhm," she yawned, "the why are you calling me at-" Wendy squinted at her too bright screen, "two forty five AM?"

"I'm really sorry to wake you up, Wen," Vince sounded tired, but not sleepy in the least, "I just need your expertise for a minute, because Google is telling me fuck-all."

"...What is it?" Wendy yawned, sliding down on the bed and pulling sleeping mask down once more.

She heard shuffling around, then Vince cursing and faintly, far in the background, the noise of someone coughing, "when should I be worried about dehydration if someone is throwing up non stop...?"

"God," she groaned, "please don't say you're sick, Vin-"

"No! No, not me, I'm fine," he hurried to soothe her, "Daniels, my coworker."

"Oh, I know who Daniels is," Wendy couldn't help but tease him, "how long he's been sick for?"

"I don't know, uhm- Since around ten... I think ten, yeah."

She tried to do the count, landed in a vague four hours and left it at that, "he's got diarrhea as well?"

"Nope, don't think so. Not on my watch, at least."

Wendy smiled, wrinkling her nose. In another life, he should've been a health professional, "he's dizzy? Lost consciousness?"

"Dizzy, yeah, but very conscious. Pain in my ass," Vince's voice got louder, clearly meaning for the other guy to hear it. In the background, Wendy heard a door opening and a loud groan, "we got a medic at the resort, but he doesn't want me to take him there."

"It's embarrassing," Wendy heard Max say, voice all husky, "humiliating."

"So is dying during the kid's field trip," Vince pointed out, but Wendy interrupted before he decided to elaborate in the bickering.

"Vin, I think he's out of trouble. Give him an hour before trying liquids again, then try ice chips every other 15 minutes, and only after you empty two cups he's allowed to have sips of water. Just sips!"

"Yes, ma'am," Vince answered cheekily, voice thickening up with a yawn, "alright, so I don't have to worry he's dying? It's been non-stop."

"Not unless he starts losing consciousness or you notice a very dry mouth, if he still has liquid to bring up its generally a good sign," Wendy turned on her side, snuggling up her phone, "take him-" she yawned, "take him to the med bay if the puking doesn't taper off in 4 hours."

"Alright," Vince let out a sigh, "thank you, honey. And I'm sorry for waking you up-"

"No," Wendy smiled, "it was nice hearing your voice, I was sad you didn't call before bed. Now I know why."

"Yeah, sorry, it's been a mess," Vince sounded wounded, "I'll call you tomorrow, I promise."

"You better," Wendy yawned once more, "I'm going back to sleep, text me in the morning about your patient, nurse Monacelli. Love you."

"Love you too and thank you again," she heard a noise like Vince sending her a kiss and Wendy grinned to herself, letting her phone fall between her pillows, not bothering to hang up.

-----------

Max was curled up on his side, shivering non stop and Vince didn't like it one bit. The puking he could handle, the fever...

"Hey, let's try the ice chips," Vince crouched down, sitting on the side of his coworker's bed and the blonde simply curled up more at the jostling of the bed.

"Won't stay down," he croaked, causing Vin to roll his eyes.

"Nothing to stay down," he pointed out how small the ice chips were, holding a spoonful up to Max' cracked lips, "c'mon, man, otherwise I'll have no choice but take you to the med bay here."

"Noo-URGHP-" his whine morphed into a burp and Max scrambled to sit up, but he was long empty and didn't bring anything up despite the heaving. He let out a groan, pressing the heel of his hand to his forehead, "my head is killing me."

"Because you need to drink something," Vince pushed the spoon closer to the other man's mouth and he fully expected Max to slap his hand away, but instead the blonde opened his mouth obediently and took the ice.

His grimace melted away at the sensation of the cold melting ice and he took in another spoonful, letting out a unsatisfied noise when Vince put the paper cup away.

"Sorry, we'll try in fifteen minutes," Vince winced in sympathy and Max nodded, falling back against the pillows and curling up, wrapping both arms around his stomach.

It was unnerving to see the guy so down for the count, it made Vince want to shake him like a rattle toy. Instead, he fixed the room, washing the trashbin in the bathroom and setting it back down next to Max's head, covering the guy with a thin blanket and finally falling into bed.

It was around 5 AM when Vince woke up with stirring. He was an incredibly light sleeper, so this wasn't surprising. For a minute he just lied there, trying to figure out what was happening, only to hear a choked up sob and the noise of liquid hitting plastic.

"Aw, man," Vince yawned, stumbling out of his bed and crossing the dark room, "there's no way you got anything to bring up..."

Max hiccupped, then let out a pitiful moan, "kill me, Vince."

"In Canada? I'll get in too much trouble for it to be worth it," Vince teased, planting a hand on the man's trembling back. Sleepy as he was, he couldn't hold back from how touchy he was.

Max let out a little shaky chuckle, moving on the bed in order to muffle a sick burp against the pillow, "my eyes hurt..." he mumbled, sounding more than a little drowsy.

"Hold on," Vince yawned, walking to the bathroom. He grabbed the little hand towel, then folded it in half and ran it under the water tap, before returning to the room. It wasn't as dark anymore, the sun just starting to appear in the cloudy horizon, bathing the room in dark grey color.

He crouched next to bed, wrinkling nose as he got a clearer view of the bin, with only some cloudy water sitting inside of it, "c'mere-" Vince instructed softly, grabbing the blonde's bicep and forcing him to uncurl, so he facing up instead of having his face buried in the pillow, then he planted the humid washcloth over the man's forehead and eyes.

The effect was immediate, Max's whole body melted against the mattress, tension leaving him, "whoa... Thanks..."

"No problem," Vince shrugged, grabbing the bin, "try to sleep."

Daniels nodded and Vince went back to the bathroom to clean out the bin. Once he was back, Max was snoring softly, seemingly not in pain, his face slack.

Vince yawned in his fist, stumbling back to bed and rolling on his side, hoping to get a couple more hours to sleep before their alarm went off at 8 AM.

As soon as he was up once again, he was checking on his co-worker-rival-friend. Max was curled up, the washcloth had fallen from his forehead, but the head had diminished considerably, to the point Vince let out a relieved sigh.

The blonde stirred slightly with the touch, frowning and opening his eyes, "what...?"

"Nothing," Vince shook his head, "just checking your fever, go back to sleep."

"Uhm-" his eyes slipped close once more, but he frowned, "what time is it? Do I have to get up? The stude-"

"I got them," Vince ruffled Max's hair without thinking, then pulled back his hand, cringing to himself. Thankfully Daniels was too out of it to think about the gesture.

"You sure?"

"Yeah, get some rest." Vince stepped away from the bed, but not before he heard Max's little:

"Thank you, Vin..."

[small-sinclair]

Hello, I'm new to your blog but absolutely loved your Bo x Sleepy S/O headcanons. Was wondering how you think Bo would handle a very independent stubborn reader that doesn't know how to ask for help; getting far too ill to be going around the house. Maybe with a sprinkle of bashfulness? Hope this ask happens to be your cup of tea, I'm new to the blog and honestly haven't sent an ask to anyone in ages XD Thanks in advance, sending you best wishes ^u^

Welcome to my blog, new friend! This is just my cup of tea, too. I wrote this a while back when I was sick that has all three brothers! (pst, @fluffy-little-demon and @leewalkin, thought of y'all when I made this)

Enjoy!

Bo with a sick s/o

Bo is like a weed: He'll thrive under any condition.

You, on the other hand, have an HP of 3 plus 10 fall damage.

But you're one determine motherfucker.

You crowed out of bed, swaying side to side. You feel the world weighing you down and you just want to sleep... but you have work to do around the house.

Besides, you don't want to quit now. You're so close to proving to everyone you belong in Ambrose, so why is your body betraying you.

Then you fall down the stairs...

Bo nearly drops the coffee pt on his hand, but he caught himself and placed it back on the burn. He set his mug down on the kitchen counter as he leaves the kitchen. Sometimes, Vincent would miss a step if he go too little sleep. As much as he doesn't say it, he hates it when his twin over does it (thought they are almost done with their mother's dream).

"Vincent?" He asked coming to the steps. "Hey! Get your Vincent van Gogh waxed ass back to," he stops at the bottom of the steps and sees you with your face in the wooden floor, "...bed." He kneels down and slowly lifts you into his arms, resting your head in his shoulder. He's not in a rush or sure if he should be worried about you. "Darlin'? Y/n?" He asked, shaking you slightly. "Sweet heart?"

"I'm good, Bo," you murmur, pushing yourself weakly against him. You tried to get up, but you felt your knees buckle and you slouched against his arms. "I need to get work done."

"Honey, words are slurrin'," Bo raises a brow at you. "Bed. Sleep. Now."

You shake your head as you tried to move again. "I can handle it."

"Ya can't even stand."

"I don't need no man to tell me shit," you playfully smack his chest, but your hand felt too heavy. You leaned against his chest and hummed at his warmth. "Warm... you're so warm."

You felt the back of his hand, and he clicks his tongue. "Sweetheart, yer burnin' faster than heart burn on a Sunday." You felt his arms under your legs as he lifts you up. He carries you upstairs back to your room.

"No, no," you whined. "Don't..."

"Yes," he replies. He places you back in bed and tucks you in. Again, his hand went to your forehead. He holds a still face as he looks back at your personal bathroom you two share. "I reckon I'll hav' Les go t'town for fever meds an' oranges."

You giggle as you felt your brain melt fast. "You talk funny, Bo."

He doesn't smile or smirk like he normally does. He leans down and kisses your head. "Sleep, honeydew, 'n I'll be back."

*****************

By the time you wake up again, it's in the afternoon and you smell soup. Bo came up the steps with a bowl of soup and a glass of orange juice. It's hard fro you to keep your eyes open, but he caught you in time.

He placed the food and glass down and takes out a bottle of medicine from his pants pocket. "Keep yer eyes open, love," he says, his voice softer than normal. "Ya need to eat an' move around some."

He sits on the side of the bed and helps you sit up. Your bones ache and grind together, and you sigh in relief as soon as your back is against the bed frame. You felt his hand against your forehead and he shakes his head, sighing disappointingly. His hand moves and brushes your back.

"Can you feed yourself?" He asked, his voice teetering on annoyance.

"Yes" you lied, your voice close to a whisper. It's getting harder to keep your eyes open. You hate that you're stuck here. Hate that you're weak in front of him. Your hand grips the spoon but your fingers can't move it. You try again but it doesn't work.

Bo's calloused hand pushes your hand away gently and takes the bowl. He scouts closer... then a spoon comes up. "Open an' blow, darlin'," he warns at the end. "Hot." You do as your told and you allow him to feed you. "There ya go, y/n. Goin' so good," he praises lightly, his voice heavy in his southern drawl. "Doin' real good now. After 'is, o.j. an' medicine."

You blushed at his words and looked away. "You think I'm good?" You asked bashfully.

"T'best, darlin'," he reassured, flashing you a charming smile. "Doin' real good." He put the soup down and held the glass to your lips. "Slow sips." He tilts the glass as you do what you're told as you drunk slow and steady. You motioned your hand to him to show you're done and he sets the barely half glass down. "Almost done. Look at ya," his hand rubs your knee, "ya such a star."

"A star?"

"A star," he gives you a smile.

He gives you your medicine and lays you back down.

As he leaves, he stops at the door and looks back at you. His heart falls a bit when he sees you breathing slowly, too slow for his liking.

He leaves for what felt like minutes and he's right back in your room. He takes off his work clothing and keeps his black boxers and white tank-top on. Bo comes on the other side of the bed and pulls you close. You rest on his shoulder and he brushes your hair.

"Yer sick," he whispers. "Fever ain't breakin', sweatin' lik' a sinner in church, sleepy and in need of help." His voice echoes in his chest, making you feel like you hear him in a cave. "Closed the shop, finished t'kill, Vincent's got a new project... hav'ta be a hen over a sick little chick." Bo's hand racks through your hair as you started to feel sleep take you again. "Sleep, y/n. There'll be monsters to fight t'morrow."

"You're not a monster," you hummed. Lazily, you lifted your hand and caress his check. "You're not a monster."

He lifts a brow and looks at you. He doesn't stop rubbing your back. "What am I then?" He asked curiously.

You snuggle up against his side and flutter your eyes close. You feel as safe and snuggled against him, his warmth lulling you to sleep. "A helper," you babble sleepily. "Best... helper..."

As you sleep, he kept an eye on you as a smile crept over his lips. He takes your hand and kisses your knuckles. "Sleep well, birdie," he whispers against your skin. "Sleep well. Dream of a better place than here."

Bo pulls you a little closer and kisses your forehead and ends up sleeping with you in his grasp.

[toomuchracket]

girly is home sick one day before they’re together and he just keeps like making a point to walk past her desk waiting for her to come in, when one of her work besties clocks it and goes. oh she called in sick today. to which 1- he tries to back peddle being like “i was just on a stroll of the office stretching my legs, not looking for anyone” (not fooling anyone either). and 2 stops for way too many sick person supplies on the way home and brings her a little care package with like meds, sweets and soup or something.

i'm seeing this as being like at the point where you're fairly good friends but still trying to remain cool in front of each other lmao. you weren't getting the train in together this morning anyway because matty had breakfast radio press to do in central london already, so when you don't show up in the office at your usual time he's a little bit concerned - whatever, though, maybe a train's delayed, or you had an appointment, or some other trivial thing he doesn't know about. an hour passes, he wanders past your desk again, and you're still not there. same again forty-five minutes later, so he texts to ask if you're alright. there's no reply - maybe you're on the train? but no, as evidenced when he walks past your desk half an hour after the last time he did and the radio promotion girl at the next desk down is like "yo, matty, she's not here"; he's scrambling to sound nonchalant like "who's not here", and the girl smirks like "the person whose desk you've been walking back and forth to the whole morning", and he's like "have i? i've just been having a wander. knee keeps seizing. gotta keep it moving and all!", and the girl is like "uh huh. well, anyway, i answered her phone call earlier to say she wouldn't be in, and she sounded awful, bless her. she thinks it's sinusitis. doesn't know when she'll be back". matty's internally both distraught at the concept of not seeing you and extremely worried, and he's like "oh, that's terrible. should we send flowers?", and the girl is like "i mean... she's only been off less than a day", and he's like "yeah ok good point. well, thanks" and trudges back to his office quite glumly. he perks up a bit on his lunch break, though - nipping into the tesco express to buy cigs, he has the genius idea of getting you a little care package and dropping it off to you on his way home, so he grabs some chicken soup, and cold and flu meds, and nice tea, and honey, and chocolate, and a cute little bunch of tulips (and has to run back in to buy a gift bag lol). it takes you ages to answer the intercom and buzz him up when he rings the doorbell to your flat that evening, but you open the door so quickly matty suspects you were waiting by it for him, and he kinda loves that. you don't look well, your face sadder and more wan than usual, but he thinks you're adorable, all messy-haired and sleepy and cosy in your massive hoodie; your face lights up when you see him, and then goes all 🥺 when he hands you the little care package. you're like "thank you. this is really sweet, you didn't have to. but i appreciate it", and matty's like "just wanted to see how you were. missed you today" - you smile shyly like "yeah, i saw you texted, but my headache was too bad to look at my phone and reply. missed you too. was looking forward to hearing about the radio show at work today", and matty's like "it was good. you think you'll be back in a couple of days? we can listen to it together on the drive in". you smile and say "hopefully. m'feeling better after seeing you, so maybe if i keep thinking about you i'll be cured by then", and matty can do nothing but giggle like a lovesick teenage girl; he's like "darling i think the meds you've had are making you loopy", and you're like "nah, i'm lucid" and wink, and he teases like "well maybe you're more ill than we thought. i'd better go home and let you recuperate". but that's so difficult for him when you sigh and say "shame. but yeah, go and have your tea. and if you're not busy... call me later? talking to you is the most exciting thing that's happened to me all day", and matty's like "omg of course yeah i'll call you in a couple of hours. take it easy, darling. i'll see you soon", and he SKIPS to his car after you say goodbye and blow him a kiss. cute <3

[riverz-pawz]

Who wants to know the gruesome story I made up todayyyy? Welp. Here it is! (Takes place before they had numbing and stuff. For some reason it takes place in a morgue. Don't ask.) TW: GRUESOME DEATH, SHITTY DOCTORS, UNSETTLING STORY, DEREALIZATION, PROBABLY SOME ETC.

-I get a stabbing pain in my eyelid to my brain... Probably a lobotomy... They didn't numb anything... Didn't put me asleep. They didn't have the technology at the time... It's like I'm in shock... I know what's happening, but I can't fight it... Like I'm tied down... Ropes on my waist and arms and legs... But I'm not struggling... The ropes are like buckles... They're attached to the table... I'm not trying to struggle... This isn't making anything better... It hurts... They're cutting the nerve in my brain... It's a lobotomy...They left me here... Tied down afterwards... They're gonna go get psych meds... I should've tried to struggle at first... They don't know why I didn't... I know I should have... But I didn't... It still hurts... The nurse walked in... She said that she's sorry about what they're gonna do when they come back. She asked if I'd rather die after because she knows I'm in pain... She knows that they aren't doing this because it's good for me... They're doing it as an experiment... They wanna know if I'll stay still for another procedure... She keeps saying sorry... She's crying... The nurse tried to tell them no. They told her to leave. She's still crying and telling me she's sorry about what they're about to do...? They forced her out... They let her back in but forced her to not try to stop the procedure... She hugged me... She's sitting on the floor and holding my hand... My abdomen hurts...I lifted my head up and saw what they were doing. I put it back down and stayed still... I look down at the nurse. She kisses my head and holds my hand tighter... Those sick fucks... No, no, no... They took my baby... That's what they did... They took my baby and ripped out my uterus... After the lobotomy, they wanted to see if I'd stay still... I'm crying but I'm not struggling or being hysterical... I'm just softly talking and asking them to leave my baby alone and asking why they took my baby... They cremated my baby... It's gone... The nurse is crying harder and telling me that she's sorry... They stitched me back up... They covered me back up... I'm still cold... I'm just laying there in a hospital gown... The nurse didn't leave she's crying and holding my hand still... She got me a blanket... It's warm and softly weighted... Fluffy... She gave me a stuffie... It's a fluffy cat.. Basically the size of my baby that was cremated... She said sorry and told me to just try to pretend... That it was gonna be okay... That I won't hurt anymore after a little while... She's softly running her hands through my hair and tracing my face... Wiping away the tears that keep falling... I'm tired... So tired... It hurts... The nurse is crying and telling me it's okay... That I can hold onto the stuffed cat and sleep... All warm and comfy... She even softly moved me just a bit so she could put a warm blanket under me too...It's getting dark... She shut the light off and put on a soft glowing lamp... Comfy and an orange- yellow color... She's playing with my hair while one of her hands is on top of the blanket... Softly rubbing where my wound is... It feels good... I'm comfy and warm... With my baby... But wait, it isn't my baby. My baby is gone, it's a stuffed cat... But that's okay... It's warm and soft... I'm sleepy but I don't wanna sleep... I don't want to... I'm scared. She's singing my favorite song... Humming and speaking... I look around one more time and she shows me a picture of my husband and son... My daughter... The nurse tells me that it'll be okay.... They'll know what happened. She doesn't care if she loses her job... She'll tell them...I'm crying and so is the nurse... She tells me to try to rest... That it's okay and I can sleep now... I close my eyes... I breathe and fall asleep... I'm gone... I'm dead... But at least it was warm...Little Ghost's story, please don't steal. Tag me if you repost. :]

[heartshattering]

Sleep got a little messed up, I couldn't fall asleep last night even after winding down... then a med I took in the afternoon made me drowsy and I accidentally slept until 9 PM. At least I slept through my parents' friend's visit so I didn't have to interact with them but now I'm awake and having to deal with nighttime anxiety. I feel like I won't feel sleepy until much later and idk what to do with all the hours until then because my motivation is so low and I still feel tired even though I'm not sleepy. I'm not in the mood to do anything, not a bad mood but just a lazy mood where even things like talking to people feel like they'll take too much effort.

I just wish I could be a healthy person who could stick to a healthy schedule and live life in a normal, healthy way... I'm sure I'll bounce back eventually but it still discourages me when my schedule gets thrown off by something. Stuff that comes so easy to other people feels like it's too hard for me, again I'm sure it's just a bump in the road and that I'll bounce back again once I get a few nights in a row of "normal" sleep, maybe I do need to develop more of a schedule for myself. But I also hate getting frustrated with myself and not knowing how I "should" live. The days just blur together from being inside all the time.

I've also been a little worried about things like my stomach symptoms and other health issues, and feeling frustrated that there's no answers yet since my third bacteria test was negative. I already know I'm not really going to go anywhere or do anything with my life but it's still depressing. Like if some miracle happened and I could somehow get away from home, I'd still be stuck with my shitty health issues. Idk, I'm just feeling like everything is always going to take way more effort for me than for normal people... not like I didn't know that already but it still sucks.

[onyxedskies]

Why are you limping for m!ashez for the injury prompts? You can't expect me to request anything else lmao

If not ashez, then maybe Ashelix?

you can't present me with the option of ashelix and expect me not to take it but also i want to adhere to your request and so i raise you: ashezlix

also im sleepy so this is either gonna be utterly incomprehensible, disgustingly soft, or both

word count: 654

Felix had never been one to openly admit when he was hurt. He tried his best to hide it from his comrades, tried his best to go to his tent and tend to it himself. His friends attempted to catch on to any of his injuries before he did so - the potential of him hurting himself further was too high for anyone to be at ease with his plan, especially to Mercedes - but it didn't work as often as they would like. Felix had plenty of practice hiding his injuries, and he only got better by the day.

So when Ashe saw Felix struggling to hide his limp, he knew something was very, very wrong.

"Felix, why are you limping?" Ashe tried not to let the panic seep into his voice, but he doubted it worked.

Felix looked up at him with wide eyes and grunted. "I'm fine."

Wordlessly, Ashe looped his arm around Felix's waist, trying to support him. His frown only deepened when Felix didn't protest.

"We're going to the med tent," Ashe said, gently turning Felix in the intended direction.

"I'm fine," Felix said. "I don't need-"

"Yes, you do," Ashe said, firm but still gentle. "I'll carry you there if I have to."

Felix was silent for a moment, but nodded stiffly. They walked in silence, Felix clearly struggling despite Ashe taking more and more of his weight with every step.

The moment they got into the tent, Ashe helped Felix sit down on one of the beds and went to get a damp cloth and a vulnerary. Felix shook his head when he saw the cloth, wincing.

"The cloth won't be necessary," he said, voice strained. "It's internal."

Ashe inhaled sharply through his nose but nodded. He heard footsteps approaching, relief flooding through him when he realized it was Shez, frowning as he saw Felix sitting on the bed.

"What happened?" He didn't bother concealing his worry, immediately taking Felix's hand. Usually, Felix would have blushed or looked away in such a public setting. Here, he just gripped Shez's hand tightly.

Shez looked up at Ashe, clearly thinking the same thing. Whatever happened, it was bad.

"Do you know where Mercedes is?" Ashe asked.

"She should be coming here now," Shez said.

"Alright. I don't want to do anything without her guidance," Ashe said. "If it's a break, a vulnerary could only damage it more if it's not set correctly."

"Good call," Shez said.

Ashe sat beside Felix, grabbing his other hand and letting his head fall on his shoulder. "Do you want to tell us what happened?"

"Not important," Felix said, closing his eyes against the pain. "It'll be fine."

Seemingly right on cue, Mercedes walked in, eyebrows immediately furrowing at the sight of Felix sitting on an infirmary bed without putting up a fight.

"Do you want us to leave?" Ashe asked quietly. Felix squeezed his hand but didn't let go. Ashe smiled lightly, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. "Okay. We'll stay."

Mercedes was able to troubleshoot the problem fairly quickly - a fractured femur, however Felix had managed that - and healing it was somewhat trivial. She drew curtains around the bed to give the trio some privacy when she was done, smiling at them.

"Better?" Shez asked quietly, still rubbing circles into Felix's hand. Felix nodded, energy drained from the healing magic.

"Do you want to take a nap?" Ashe murmured. Felix hesitated before shifting, going to lay down. He pulled Shez and Ashe with him, and the two shared a smile before lying next to him.

It was slightly cramped in such a small bed, but as he watched Felix relax enough to fall asleep quickly, sandwiched between the two of them, Ashe knew it was worth it. And as he glanced up at Shez and saw how soft his eyes were as he looked down at Felix, he knew he agreed.

[doseofglyyycine]

It's been 6 years since I graduated college. 6 long years and still, I questioned myself if this is the right path for me.

I am still a procastinator and a sleepy head, but many things have change. I still suck on interviews but I gain a little bit of confidence than the fresh grad girl. Thanks to my job as an accountant, I live a comfortable life right now. I'm still faraway from rich but I'm more capable to do the things that I wanted when I was student. I can travel now. I watch music gigs and concerts. I can buy things I need and want without the help of my parents, in fact, I can also provide for them.

So why do I still questioned myself if this is the right path for me?

I don't want an 8-hour routine job. I don't want to be stagnant. I don't want to be just a mere employee who keeps on repeating her tasks everyday.

But that is where I am today.

I want something better. I want to be better. I want something that will push me to be better. I want to excel. I want people to recognize that I am great too.

But don't know where to go.

I don't know which path to take to get what I want. Should I pursue law? But I feel like i'm not good enough to be a lawyer. Should I go to med school? But I have unsteady hands, not good for a doctor. Should I fulfill a childhood dream and be a Pilot? But I now have fear of heights.

I'm not even sure if I'm willing to risk the comfort I have right now just to feel the rush and excitement. For 6 long years I just ended up thinking about the what ifs.

Most times I wonder if this is all I'll ever be.

[dabihawksluvr]

And THIS is what I wish people understood when I talk about Trump vs Biden.

Biden may be a sleepy old man, but at least he's still TRYING to keep the current system going (and implementing things all presidents should be caring about instead of taking it all away from us for his own twisted benefit). And we DO make fun of him for being old and needing meds to keep himself coherent, but we don't worship him in any way, shape, or form. We just see him as the better option of the two.

Trump literally wants to be a king, to have everything he wants while the country suffers under those he employs. He wants to squash all our rights, to sell our government secrets to places like Russia and Is*eal and China for a profit. And it just boggles my mind how ANYONE can trust a word this swindler says about anything, Project 2025 is literally his manifesto that was created to appeal to the easily manipulated who already worship him as the second coming of Christ.

If you vote for Trump, f*ck you. There is no other way to say it, just f*ck you and your beliefs. It's already hard enough out here, they're already enacting a lot of Project 2025 and I am peeved that this is only NOW getting news coverage (in my state at least the news is talking about it and actually saying it's a bad thing if it actually passes). I honestly wish I could take all these Trump Humpers and make them experience REAL issues, but if they already are I'll just throe them in a wood chipper and use the remains to feed the community garden so at least then they'd be useful for the pieces of s**t they really are.

Me, too! And you can't convince me otherwise.

[bellysoupset]

Dialogue starter:

"Well... you don't look fine."

"Well... you don't look fine."

"But I am," Wendy repeated, causing Bella to roll her eyes in an amused manner and lean against the car door.

"I'm not driving you anywhere in this state, Tinkerbell," Bella said, looking her friend up and down. At first glance Wendy did look pretty okay, clad in pink overalls with a white blouse poking out from underneath. However... The tip of her nose was red, her green eyes overly shiny by how teary they were and she kept sniffling.

"Aw c'mon, don't be a mother hen, I really wanted to visit the new store..."

"The only place I'm driving you to is a pharmacy," Bella said, stepping closer and inspecting the other woman, "did you run out of claritin?"

"It makes me sleepy!" Wendy groaned, but turned around, walking back in the building, a silent invitation for Bells to follow, "it's really no big deal, just pollen..."

"It's a bit of a big deal, Wen, you're wheezing," Bella hit 6 on the elevator and entered with, "isn't there any other allergy medication that doesn't make you sleepy?"

Wendy shook her head, pouting and sniffling again. Despite really wanting to go to the new decor store that had opened, she couldn't deny that she was feeling pretty awful. Today was a particularly windy day and it was stirring up dust everywhere, she had woken up at 6 AM whacking up her lungs and it had only been flip flopping between terrible coughs and non stop sneezes since.

"Not really," she groaned, hugging herself, "today's my day off, this isn't fair."

"I'm sorry," Bella grimaced in a sympathetic way, reaching in and pushing a strand of her hair behind her ear, "maybe you do need some rest, though, Wen. Let's just watch a movie or something."

"Let's?" Wendy frowned, looking up, "you're sticking around?"

The elevator came to a stop with a soft ding and Bella followed her out, frowning right back at her.

"Well, duh? You're not feeling well and I had already planned to spend the day with you, did you think I'd leave?"

Wendy's frown melted a little bit, although she still looked confused, "no, I just... I'll take the meds and be drooling in no time, Bells."

"Then I'll stay until you're asleep," Bella shrugged, waiting for her to unlock the door, "we should watch the new Evil Dead that's out."

"Absolutely not," Wendy scoffed, "no horror movies."

[elizabethplaid]

daily notes - jan 18, 2025

Took zzzquil last night and managed to be sleepy by 9pm. Woke at 3 for a bathroom break, then again at 5 but was able to fall back asleep. At 8:30, I was ready for breakfast, meds, and more time with the hot compress. Just before 10am, I went back upstairs, then used a handheld massager on my leg muscles. Also used it on my face and scalp, though I had to be careful. (I need a different one, because my hair kept catching on the attachment-head.)

Spent the next few hours lounging in bed, trying to keep my leg muscles calm. My sister texted me, and we ended up having a quick phone call. She asked me to make something for my niece's birthday (in Sept), and I had to explain how badly I'm doing.

I have my weekly phone call with phone-friend in a few hours. I'm just going to lay in bed quietly until that time. I took more advil, as my eye is hurting again. It feels more like a sinus headache behind my eye and my cheek bone, rather than pressure from the swollen eyelid. Still putting lotion on my forehead. Red patches of skin look angry, but the pain is getting better.

I'll probably take zzzquil again tonight, as I've had good results with it lately. Each time I woke up, I had been drooling. There were dreams that seemed vivid upon waking, but I can't remember them now. Nothing unpleasant; I'm always on-edge about potentially having bad nightmares.

Ugh ASMR videos are making my brain jumpy, like hypnic jerks. That's a sign to rest. I should probably do another hot compress later, but I'd rather lay in bed.

[mysticdreamcafe]

Been Busy trying new things

I've been MIA for a while, partly because I'm ill again and going through medication changes, and partly because I'm trying new things.

I still do my tarot cards, but it's hit or miss. As for new things I finally got around to making a scented candle that didn't turn out perfect but ended up better than I thought.

I've also dug out an old artist set full of high end supplies that has been hidden in the basement cupboard for a couple years. Surprisingly, the acrylic paints (except white which looks like cottage cheese) are all in good shape.

I'm still writing, but not as much and had the idea yesterday that since I'm about half way through my first draft of my first book I should be able to whip out the last of it this month. That's my goal...finish draft this month.

Doesn't help I'm still fighting a respiratory infection and withdraws from a psych med I asked to be taken off of. I've been dealing with depression and anxiety for 25 years and finally the Dr. is listening to me that my meds aren't working. I'm sleepy for the most part but with this last dosage reduction I'm a bit pissy. Better than the 24/7 anger my friends and family have had to deal with for the last couple years.

Increase in seizure meds is helping and I'm not having small seizures daily now. So, overall I am improving by taking control of my medications, diet, exercise, and using creative outlets.

That's it for me. Hope you all are well and I'll try to post more tarot pulls in the mix of everything else. It feels good to be busy again vs sitting like a lump all day.

[p1nkshield]

It was a horrible sight really. The league had found another metahuman experimentation ring. After a few dead ends and empty leads they managed to just happen upon it. The discovery was made by the Superman after hearing a suspicious amount of heartbeats in a seemingly abandoned facility.

Back up was called.

Threats were neutralized.

People were recovered and returned to their families.

They were lucky. The operation had barely begun. They were very lucky. No one had any serious physical injuries that couldn't be treated. They were almost extremely lucky. Almost everyone had someone to tearfully reunite with. Everyone but one individual.

And this individual was very upset.

Superman looked with desperation between his fellow league members as a baby wailed in his arms.

"Shh Shh Shh, uh you're okay? It's alright!" Superman attempted to soothe and continued to look for help, this time looking directly at Green Arrow.

Both of his efforts were to no avail.

The baby only cried louder in response and Oliver suddenly found the most interesting piece of paneling in the watch tower.

The need to find this kid's parents. His super hearing was taking a beating, Flash had run out of silly faces an hour ago and anyone who would have known what to do was not in today.

"Give them to me."

Everyone froze.

Batman stood in front of Superman with his arms outstretched.

Was this a good idea? Batman? Should he give Batman the baby? He scares everyone else in the league wouldn't he scare the baby?

Batman looked expectantly at him.

Superman handed the baby over.

He cradled the baby in the crook of his arm, gently bouncing them as he took out a packet of baby formula, and a bottle. He then addressed the gobsmacked league in front of him.

"Flash. Fill a heat safe bowl with potable water."

"Uh... Okay."

After Flash returned it with the water it was superman's turn to be addressed.

"Superman. Use your heat vision to boil this water."

The water was boiled, cooled and mixed with the inexplicable utility belt formula.

Then the justice league had to grapple with the sight of Batman giving a baby a bottle.

"Green Arrow. Current status of parents or any other family?" Batman asked quietly as the baby was drifting off to sleep.

"Uhh... Oh! We put a bulletin out on the found baby, we are currently going through police databases. We do need to take a DNA sample to help with the search."

Flash zipped over far too quickly for The Dark Night's liking.

"I can zip them to med bay real quick."

"That is unnecessary."

Batman then proceeded to produce a bat themed sterile swab, waited for the baby to yawn and carefully swabbed the inside of their cheek. All the while quietly apologizing in response to sleepy protests.

"Here."

"Oh. I guess that works too?"

Over the course of the rest of the debriefing it became clear that this baby loved Batman. For the short amounts of time when they were awake they were all smiles and happy coos.

It wasn't until after the debrief that things went askew. Nightwing had arrived, apparently because "B doesn't stick around after meetings unless something is wrong".

"Are you sure he's not injured? He usually only stays if he can't leave- No! NO!"

"What!?" Superman scanned the room for danger but found none. Only Batman sitting in the same spot he was in when he was first handed the baby.

"Code not another one! I repeat! Code not another one!"

There was a code for this situation?

"Oracle when was the most recent visit to the adoption papers document?"

Superman couldn't help but over hear through the coms.

"This is bad, it was viewed a few minutes ago!"

The urgency of Nightwing's voice heightened.

"Try to find the Parents and soon! Were looking for someone who could have a kid with black hair...and blue eyes. Raise the code to a level 10 just for that. I'll try to get them from B."

Batman had yet to move. Whether in an act of defiance or in an effort to get the baby back to sleep.

"B."

"Nightwing?"

"Can you give me the baby please?"

"I don't see a reason to."

"I do!"

"And what is that reason?"

"You cannot adopt another kid."

"I wasn't planning on it and even if I did, I have the means."

"Not planning on it? The adoption papers doc was visited six times in the last ten minutes."

"That was not necessarily me."

"Oh really? It was half filled out. Who else in the family is adopting a six month old?"

"Perhaps Redhood."

"Very funny. Give me the baby."

"No."

"Oracle i'm going to need the location of family expedited... Its already top priority? Can you go any faster? Please go faster!"

Superman watched as Nightwing tried his hardest to get Batman to hand over the baby. It was not working. Superman was pulled into a neighboring hall to the room they were in.

"How long has B been holding this baby?"

"Ever since we got back from the mission. None of us could get them to calm down until Batman took over."

Nightwing looked ashen for a moment. The a look of resignation washed over him.

"He calmed the baby down?"

"He was the first to deduce that the poor thing was probably hungry." Superman joked bashfully.

"He fed the baby?"

"I didn't even know he had formula in his utility belt!"

"... Okay."

Nightwing slowly raised his hand to the com in defeat.

"Its a lost cause everybody. Tell agent A we need to break out the batssinet."

Can someone write a fic where Bruce is on a JL mission and they somehow get a baby that they need to take care of until they find their parents. And all the JL members just cannot stop this baby from crying (this is before Clark has Jon so he’s pretty clueless with babies still) and eventually Bruce is like, “give them to me.”

And the JL is like “uhh, we don’t know if we should trust BATMAN with a baby, but at this point… fuck it.” And hand the baby over to him.

And Batman tucks the baby into his chest and softly bounces them, talking to them gently in a deep rumbly voice. “It’s okay sweetheart. Shhh, you’re safe.” And eventually, the baby doesn’t just stop crying, but falls asleep.

And the JL just stand there, gobsmacked. Because what the fuck??? Why is the Batman so good with babies??? And the rest of the mission Batman just has the baby because a) they don’t want them to wake up and start fussing again. And b) because Batman looks genuinely happy (as happy as Batman can be without deeply horrifying the JL).

[hollownoire]

I love insomnia. Sleepy? Yes. Tired? Very. Exhausted? Extremely.

Though no matter how I fuckin' time taking my sleeping med, or if I say fuck you to screens before bed, it just doesn't work. I need a hard reset, man, sleeping fucking sucks.

But I don't want it to! That's when I should be having dreams, that's when I should be fluttering off to dreamland on a chariot made of clouds and joy. I wanna close my eyes and fall asleep in minutes, seconds, not....HOURS?!?! I DONT KNOW ANYONE ELSE WHO JUST LIKE CANT SLEEP WHAT THE FUCK

ALL NIGHT BRO. ITS 5 FUCKING 30. HOW DO I TAKE MY SLEEP BACK?

Roll over, not comfy. Change positions, not comfy. Roll over. Roll over. Roll over. Curl up into the fetal position and pray to God my body realizes its time to shut the fuck up and go to bed, not comfy.

Melatonin? MelaNonin. Nothing. Nada. One. Two. Three, nothing. Take none, nothing. Nothing. Nothing.

Weighted blanket? Nothing. Peaceful as a babe? Almost never, but still nothing.

Talking to my damn doctor, I'm losing my goddamn mind. My insomnia has never been this bad, hell, I thought it was normal to flip around fucking over and over again until morning. No! It's not! I'm just a goddamn skyrim draugr dissolving into dust with all my fuckin' bones hurting.

I'm fucking sleep deprived and I STILL CANT FALL ASLEEP? What kind of bullshit is this?

ALSO SOME MOTHERFUCKING TRICKSTER DEITY THOUGHT IT WOULD BE FUNNY TO GIVE ME THE WORST HICCUPS RIGHT AS I LAID DOWN

Well! No sleep for me I guess! I'll just stay up until I fold over like a melted fucking peep in the microwave.

My friend, the other day, after I got like four hours of sleep, was fucking with me saying that friend 2 was never there. Like in the call. I was talking to friend 2 for like 5 minutes straight, realized he wasn't there, and asked friend 1 where he went

He fucking said he was getting his doctorate in college, AND I JUST BELIEVED HIM.

Oh, yes, that makes sense. Friend 2 IS in COLLEGE afterall! Of course he'd be doing that right now!

BUUUUT then he asked if i was talking to him for the past five minutes, and he fucking gaslit me into thinking he was never there and I about had a goddamn panic attack thinking I was hallucinating. (It's a bit he does, it's funny, normally, this was just like too real to be funny in the moment, but it is pretty funny now despite it being like my biggest fear)

So....yeah. Shit myself goddamn sideways and now yet again sleep evades me expertly, and I'm pissed, uncomfortable, I just wanna sleep but the sun is peaking it's stupid fucking mug over the goddamn treeline and I want to go fucking throw hands with it and teach it a fucking lesson. I need like, TWO or THREE hours more of TOTAL DARKNESS or I'm gonna fucking scream!

I WOULD go to bed earlier but should this SHIT repeat itself I'd just be speedrunning Misery and Dissapointment.

Oh, what's that, you wanna toss and turn starting at 9 instead of 12 or 1? Be my guest! NONONO.

I'm gonna fucking flip through YouTube now. So fucking pissed. I have shit to do!!! My music! Art! I don't have time to nap, man, naps SUCK. Everyone fuckin' applauds sleepy-cozy time like it's a bag of chips WITH A SANDWICH but it's NOT. Its NOT!!!

It's like a fucking dark ritual you do when you failed to do the proper arcane invocation, and you close your eyes and it's shitty cause you don't fall asleep! It's just staring at my goddamn eyelids for thirty minutes until I give the fuck up.

OR, I COMMIT TO THE NAP, AND I WAKE UP IN DARKNESS AND HAVE TO SCOOP MY BRAIN BACK TOGETHER

Somebody, please, I need sleep Master's (or Mistresses I guess but that's...whatever) to fucking tell me how to sleep. Absurd. Yes. I've tried TURKEY, I've tried MILK, I've tried STRETCHING, I've tried GETTING UP AND COMING BACK LATER and NONE OF IT WORKSSSSS

PLEASEEEEEE