#i should really be doing my school work
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the thing about art is that it was always supposed to be about us, about the human-ness of us, the impossible and beautiful reality that we (for centuries) have stood still, transfixed by music. that we can close our eyes and cry about the same book passage; the events of which aren't real and never happened. theatre in shakespeare's time was as real as it is now; we all laugh at the same cue (pursued by bear), separated hundreds of years apart.
three years ago my housemates were jamming outdoors, just messing around with their instruments, mostly just making noise. our neighbors - shy, cautious, a little sheepish - sat down and started playing. i don't really know how it happened; i was somehow in charge of dancing, barefoot and laughing - but i looked up, and our yard was full of people. kids stacked on the shoulders of parents. old couples holding hands. someone had brought sidewalk chalk; our front walk became a riot of color. someone ran in with a flute and played the most astounding solo i've ever heard in my life, upright and wiggling, skipping as she did so. she only paused because the violin player was kicking his heels up and she was laughing too hard to continue.
two weeks ago my friend and i met in the basement of her apartment complex so she could work out a piece of choreography. we have a language barrier - i'm not as good at ASL as i'd like to be (i'm still learning!) so we communicate mostly through the notes app and this strange secret language of dancers - we have the same movement vocabulary. the two of us cracking jokes at each other, giggling. there were kids in the basement too, who had been playing soccer until we took up the far corner of the room. one by one they made their slow way over like feral cats - they laid down, belly-flat against the floor, just watching. my friend and i were not in tutus - we were in slouchy shirts and leggings and socks. nothing fancy. but when i asked the kids would you like to dance too? they were immediately on their feet and spinning. i love when people dance with abandon, the wild and leggy fervor of childhood. i think it is gorgeous.
their adults showed up eventually, and a few of them said hey, let's not bother the nice ladies. but they weren't bothering us, they were just having fun - so. a few of the adults started dancing awkwardly along, and then most of the adults. someone brought down a better sound system. someone opened a watermelon and started handing out slices. it was 8 PM on a tuesday and nothing about that day was particularly special; we might as well party.
one time i hosted a free "paint along party" and about 20 adults worked quietly while i taught them how to paint nessie. one time i taught community dance classes and so many people showed up we had to move the whole thing outside. we used chairs and coatracks to balance. one time i showed up to a random band playing in a random location, and the whole thing got packed so quickly we had to open every door and window in the place.
i don't think i can tell you how much people want to be making art and engaging with art. they want to, desperately. so many people would be stunning artists, but they are lied to and told from a very young age that art only matters if it is planned, purposeful, beautiful. that if you have an idea, you need to be able to express it perfectly. this is not true. you don't get only 1 chance to communicate. you can spend a lifetime trying to display exactly 1 thing you can never quite language. you can just express the "!!??!!!"-ing-ness of being alive; that is something none of us really have a full grasp on creating. and even when we can't make what we want - god, it feels fucking good to try. and even just enjoying other artists - art inherently rewards the act of participating.
i wasn't raised wealthy. whenever i make a post about art, someone inevitably says something along the lines of well some of us aren't that lucky. i am not lucky; i am dedicated. i have a chronic condition, my hands are constantly in pain. i am not neurotypical, nor was i raised safe. i worked 5-7 jobs while some of these memories happened. i chose art because it mattered to me more than anything on this fucking planet - i would work 80 hours a week just so i could afford to write in 3 of them.
and i am still telling you - if you are called to make art, you are called to the part of you that is human. you do not have to be good at it. you do not have to have enormous amounts of privilege. you can just... give yourself permission. you can just say i'm going to make something now and then - go out and make it. raquel it won't be good though that is okay, i don't make good things every time either. besides. who decides what good even is?
you weren't called to make something because you wanted it to be good, you were called to make something because it is a basic instinct. you were taught to judge its worth and over-value perfection. you are doing something impossible. a god's ability: from nothing springs creation.
a few months ago i found a piece of sidewalk chalk and started drawing. within an hour i had somehow collected a small classroom of young children. their adults often brought their own chalk. i looked up and about fifteen families had joined me from around the block. we drew scrangly unicorns and messed up flowers and one girl asked me to draw charizard. i am not good at drawing. i basically drew an orb with wings. you would have thought i drew her the mona lisa. she dragged her mother over and pointed and said look! look what she drew for me and, in the moment, i admit i flinched (sorry, i don't -). but the mother just grinned at me. he's beautiful. and then she sat down and started drawing.
someone took a picture of it. it was in the local newspaper. the summary underneath said joyful and spontaneous artwork from local artists springs up in public gallery. in the picture, a little girl covered in chalk dust has her head thrown back, delighted. laughing.
#writeblr#warm up#this is longer than i wanted i really considered removing that part about myself and what i went thru#but i think it really fucking bothers me that EVERY time i talk about being an artist#ppl assume i just like. had the skill and ability to drop everything and pay for grad school.#like sir i grew up poor. my house wasn't a safe space. i gave up a FREE RIDE TO LAW SCHOOL. for THIS. bc i chose it.#was it fucking hard? was i choosing the hard thing?? yes.#but we need to stop seeing artists as lazy layabouts that can ''afford'' to just ''sit around and create''#when MANY - if not MOST - of us are NOT like that. we have to work our fucking ASSES off. hard work. long and hard work#part of valuing artists is recognizing the amount we sacrifice to make our art. bc it doesn't just#like HAPPEN to us. also btw it rarely has anything to do with true talent.#speaking as someone with a chronic condition i hate when ppl are like u have it easy. like actively as i'm writing this my hands r#ACTIVELY hurting me. i haven't been posting bc my left hand was curled in a claw for the last week#this isn't fucking luck. after a certain point it's not even TALENT. it's dedication & sacrifice.#''u get to flounce around and do nothing with ur life'' is a narrative that is a direct result of capitalism#imagine if we said that about literally any other profession.#''oh so u give up 10 yrs of ur life to be a doctor? u sacrifice having a social life and u get SUPER in debt?#u need to work countless hours and it will often be thankless? well i wish i was that lucky''#we should be applying that logic to landlords ONLY#''oh ur mom and dad gave u the money to buy a house? and all u did was paint it white and rent it? huh.''
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the crossover nobody asked for
#especially not me cause my xmen knowledge is base at best#ive absorbed a lot thru flor but not a lot#anywyas i read spiderman and the xmen and didnt really like it#hes barely doing any teacher like help me god i want a funny miniseriessssss#peter parker#pete#my art#i think i should draw more but ill be just projecting my experience teaching onto pete. which is fine#hes happiest when hes bullied by 13yr olds#and in my heart i like to think hes like me. working as a TA to get school experience . before embarking on possibly#the worlds most thankless job ❤️
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shoutout to agent stone for being the prettiest man alive
#i was supposed to be working on my school work#but oh well#um. um. yeah. whatever.#my ipad is almost dead again omfg#k im gonna go pretend to do work now - is gonna go read fanfics#my art#stobotnik#idk what to tag this#dr robotnik#agent stone#(btw i really like stones fandom name ive seen on ao3. aban is such a pretty name)#(its canon to me)#also fun fact i couldnt care less about sonic im here just for these two.#as ive said before: theyre like the most dysfunctional functional qpr ever#k i should go sleep actually
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dreaming abt sophomore year class swap bard!riz
#fantasy high#fantasy high sophomore year#fhsy#riz gukgak#ft. kalina#fh class quangle#tbh Im not suuuper happy with the bones of these designs yet#but also its just a bit hard to measure up to how strong ''kid who wears suit to school'' is#I kiinda gear the sophomore year design specifically towards like. cameraman-esque aesthetics#kind of dude who's working the light rig And the audio at the same time. dude who's running inbetween two huge tripods#theres also a thing with the freshman year arcade scene that I wanted to draw but just do not have the energy today#maybe in the future! if I can be bothered to draw biz lmao#I wanna draw something for cleric!gorgug first anyway... specifically his death in freshman year#man I'm so glad I tossed bard!riz into investigative journalism that is SO annoying. exactly what I set out to do with my classswaps#can you imagine going to school with that guy. can you imagine going to school with tintin#this also makes kipperlilly vs riz even funnier like influencer vs journalist? it'd be the Worst#man thinking of it I should rework gorgug's design too. currently his sophomore design is really zac core lmao#and zac can pull it off but character design wise its. really nothing. laughs#his junior year design is full aerith at least so that one Im very happy with. what if I tell u cassandra is the deity of#the inbetween spaces in this class swap thingy. and gorgug offers her domain as a stop for folks fresh out of a faith to gather themselves#that being transgender as fuck is kinda coincidental lmao. but well I stand by it I like that#nobody's design has jumped out to me like riz and gorgug yet. adaine I have a prreeetty good idea for#mostly bc shes the hoodie kid this time round lmao. gamer adaine true believers rise up#we take it easy! we take it easy as we go. these comics-lite were real fun to do. I should do that more
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2023 Brazilian Grand Prix - Sprint - Fernando Alonso
#yknow i thought maybe id get immune to his insane level of attractiveness from this weekend after posting so much#but these had me going: 'WHAT THE FUCCCCKKKKKK' super hoarse LMAO#im so confused at him. he was very cute and angelic in the earlier interview and now he looks like this???? unfair.#theres something about a man trapped by the sleeves of his racesuit....#okay anyways this should be my last work of the day actually#i have to go do a school thing so i shant be online...probably#BUT AH NO SERIOUSLY ITS BEEN SSO FUN YESTERDAY AND TODAY!!!#like it really is a reward after suffering thru all his races since zandvoort basically#but mostly cota and mexico killed me but this wknd has reminded me how fun racing and f1 can be#thank you everyone for being so fun hehehe#fernando alonso#f1#formula 1#2023 brazilian gp#we do a little bit of f1
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growing up is like, every single thing you thought would be so complicated and unmanageable and unthinkably difficult turns out to be, actually, pretty simple. and every single thing you thought was so simple and easy to understand and how come adults don’t get this turns out to be painfully hard to deal with, to actually understand and internalize.
the thing you thought you had all figured out—somehow, you forget the right way to handle it. the thing you thought would dictate the course of your entire life, the thing you thought would ruin you forever—you move on in 2 months. the worst thing to ever happen to you hasn’t caught up yet. maybe it never will. maybe life shouldn’t be based on which worst thing happens when.
a hobby you thought would be a silly one-off becomes an all-time favorite. a genre you could never see yourself getting into can offer you the best story you’ve ever experienced. an inherent belief you thought you’d never budge on starts getting cracks. a person you’ve only ever seen in passing and had short conversations with can become your closest three, five, seven years later.
everything you thought about yourself can turn out to be wrong. you’ll get better in ways you didn’t know you could. you’ll slip and fall just as much, get new scrapes along the way as you survive yet another mess of a job, a situation, a relationship. it might be fear, or it might be happiness when you’ll look at yourself in the mirror and not recognize who it is.
so yeah, i guess, if i had to describe what growing up feels like, i could say i’m closer to figuring my life out, or i’m even more lost than before, or that it’s like a rebirth, i’m becoming a new person, i’m finally getting to know myself, or the many, many other things people say when you ask them.
and they’re all right, of course—the future you dreamed for yourself at age 12 is no longer there to guide you anymore, but sometimes it does feel like you see things clearer, like the pieces occasionally click in your head even if you can never comprehend the puzzle. you’re still who you were at your core, but you’re also starting to peel back the layers, to find such things that you never even imagined could be you.
so yeah, i guess, growing up is all of those things and more. it never stops to wait for you to realize it’s happening. it’s changing, changing in a way you can never anticipate, changing in a way that will simultaneously ache deeply and make you the happiest you’ve ever been. it’s the most complex, most intricate experience a human could have.
but, like most complicated things, it’s also actually pretty simple.
i mean—it’s just plain fun, isn’t it?
#at the risk of sounding trite—i used to think i had relationships and mental health down to a T when i was a kid. i could seeeee it allllll#and i mean i very much might’ve had it all figured out! because middle school relationships are famously not that complex (most of the time)#so i guess back then i really could see it all. i handled all the conflicts and navigated what i could and just went with the flow#then you grow up and people change and *you* change and it’s like ohhhh. My world was so small#my world was so small and now with each day i expand it inch by inch and it’s just *exciting*. it’s just fun.#with each day i feel more and more like a person. like i’m taking up more space in this world and so are the people around me. i love it#crammerposting#so yes here is some random poetic late night writing for u. doing this shit instead of what i should Actually be writing#but i’ve been having these thoughts for a while. growing up is sooo (trails off forever)#looking over this again and it just reads like Such an inkskinned post#can u tell i am a huge fan of their work yet
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it has always baffled me that ASL isn't taught as a second language in American schooling. or as a requirement for certain jobs that work with, well, people. the HLAA says that around 48 million Americans have hearing loss!! 1 in 5 teenagers!! 1 in 3 people over the age of 60!!! it's crazy to me that sign isn't more widely taught and used considering that you probably DO or WILL know someone who has hearing loss at some point in their life
#i know this is definitely not a new topic of conversation but i just think about it so often#obviously ableism and ageism is just rampant in america and thats why asl isnt more widely taught#because the thought in america is why would we help out the minority#or people think to themselves 'whats the chance ill ever need it'#and im like ???? probably higher than you think dude!!#i have friends with hearing loss and i have deteriorating hearing in my left ear as well (enough to notice in school but nothing crazy)#and thinking of that makes me think wow. i should really learn ASL#working in food service makes me think wow!!! i should really learn asl!!!#which i AM going to do mark my fucking words#anyway. i dont even know where this rant came from#motivation to learn!! and communicate with people different than me because i CAN#i guess i just wish it was more accessible to learn in schools or even mandatory!#westy's shit#rambling#i need to educate myself more on this topic and this is serving as my reminder
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#ruffled feathers#sometimes work is so fucking frustrating#like i had this one kid hit another kid and then when i told him off he just mocked me and then the entire class laughed#and like. there's nothing i can do. i can't send him out of the classroom bc i'm not allowed (there's nowhere to send him)#i can't call his parents bc i'm not allowed (and my japanese wouldn't be good enough to speak to them anyway)#i told him he couldn't join in the game and he just didn't care. spent the game throwing stuff at other kids + ruined it for everyone#then he shoved some crayons up his nose/in his ears and started running around#which is. y'know. REALLY FUCKING DANGEROUS so i can't just ignore it#when i spoke to the japanese teacher she was like 'ohh he has adhd' and i'm like ??? he assaults others. that's NOT bc of adhd#i don't work at a school i work at an eikaiwa. i'm the only staff member on location (no assistant no receptionist etc)#i have 11 kids in that class. most of them are 6-7 years old#and the japanese teacher just lets them do what they want most of the time so it's basically impossible to control them#i just. i fucking hate this classroom honestly. the kids are so disrespectful#i know it's not just me like everyone i've spoken to says it's a Problem Classroom#but also. it makes me feel like i'm a bad teacher bc i can't control the kids#it makes me feel like i should just quit my job bc obviously i'm bad at it#anyway i'm really not looking for advice here i'm just venting so please spare me the 'have you tried' messages#i've already asked my supervisor and senpais for advice and the general consensus is we need more staff#and also for the jt to not actually tolerate 7-year-olds behaving like 2-year-olds#delete later
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I just realized I accidentally predicted Bakugou sacrificing himself for Deku when making up an AU fic in my head last year 😭
#I think i actually killed him off tho#it was a villain deku au#tho it wasnt my usual version i made up#it was its own thing based on this weird idea I had where class 1-A and Mirio were making a movie for school for some reason#it ended up becoming its own au#it was 100% a bldk au too#Izuku was living a double life as a villain and as Katsuki's innovent fiancé#katsuki was Mirio's side kick and Mirio was the hero (it was a kinda weird pairing looking back)#they were trying to find out the identify of the villain and katsuki figured out that it was izuku#he ends up purposely messing up the investigation to protect izuku#he learns the hero society had decided to kill the villain#he sacrifices himself and deku holds him as he dies#then he gets revenge and i cant remebrr if i bring katsuki back or use that as a reason for izuku to commit#im not really feeling rhat last option tho#should i write this?#i would write my other villain deku au but thats too underdeveloped for me to do it the way i want to#tho ido have a good scene i would do#oh i forgot that random members of class 1-A played different roles#like denki shinso momo and i think jirou were working for izuku for some reason (#which genuinely doesnt have anything to with the fact i ship denki and shinso and also jirou and momo#mha#mha ships#mha bakugou#mha spoilers#deku#izuku midoriya#izuku#mha izuku#bnha izuku#bakugou katsuki
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i find it just a smidge comical my unofficial break from pjo stuff happened right as i was working on an oc comic that had big lore in it. oops
#half finished bomb in my csp files#ok recently (like as of yesterday) i’ve once again been debating what medium i want to share oc stuff in#because i still really like the story i’ve made and it’s good for me to work on it#i want to do so much like i want to write out scenes in prose/like a book but i also love making comics#but yknow how it is. adhd and fluctuating interests and life and blah blah#school is starting for me and considering i’m now working on getting a whole ass degree in comic making i should get back to it LOL#simon says
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thinkin abt redesigning the if set cuz im not a big fan of the outfits.. i already thought of one for haruka actually-
#project sekai#pjsk#proseka#prsk#the art in artical gets used#i think grey fits better with the vibe of the song more than black ngl#i get where they were doing with the painful hope = soldier thing but it really clashes with the song...#i dont plan on changing the hairstyles bc i dont see anything wrong with them#kiritani haruka#haruka kiritani#fuck i should finish my knight haruka drawing#i will get to it#eventually#i feel the soldier thing couldve worked better if they didnt like#school-uniformized it#if that makes any sense#haruka deserves a trench coat#ive rambled for too long ill shut up
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Me, episode 1: Oh, a relatable protag! And a relatable female protag, at that. Sweet! That never happens.
Me, a few episodes in: Wait, the protag really is going to be my character? The one I identify with the most? Seriously? It's not going to be a strange, at least somewhat sinister, seemingly hostile male side character? It's gonna be a female character and the protagonist? That's insane, that literally never happens... what's the catch??
Me, more than halfway through the season: ... huh, I guess Maomao really is it. Okay, then ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Me to myself, after episodes 22/23:
#i let my guard down#i should have known#like really i should know better by now lmao#that's probably the best depiction of prosopagnosia i've seen in fiction ngl#also luo//men's suggestion re: using other attributes to tell people apart??#A++ approach what a guy#mine isn't nearly as severe but i totally use footsteps/gait/mannerisms as my primary means of distinguishing people#the very few people i care about i can definitely recognize by facial features#and people i see frequently; though i do have trouble recognizing them if they appear in a context i'm not used to#like. if i were to see one of my sword classmates at my workplace for instance i would have trouble recognizing them#but anyone else? forget it#the most difficult part of working veterinary front desk was returning animals to their owners#bc even though i could have /just/ spoken with the owners like. ten minutes ago#i couldn't tell you which animal belonged to which owner#faces just don't register with me#dogs were easier in that i'd just let them lead me to their owners#but if it was a cat in a carrier i was fucked lmaooo#it's why if there was another receptionist working i'd let them handle any hand offs XDD#i don't remember most of my childhood but i have some very vivid impressions of moments like#my mother asking me to go give a cash tip to the hairdresser who did her hair and me being unable to pick who it was out#of everyone that was working even though i'd been there with them for two plus hours.#or like. taking the school bus home and being unable to recognize my bus monitor and so getting on the wrong bus#and also getting ridiculed about this by my parents lol. ah good times.#on the other hand i can easily recognize a dog i've met once or twice even years later. and remember their name.#i think it all mostly comes down to disinterest for me. i've tried to change this but it's just how i am#so. he's very relatable. painfully so#also the pragmatism and rationality and hyperfixating on things.#i've never hyperfixated on another person tho and i am so grateful for that every single day#i know in my bones it would be an absolute disaster XD#withoutwords
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horror's about to get his shit rocked i guess but its ok he got to say a cool line. anyways i had this silly little idea :3 horror deserves to be the one inflicting pain onto killer sometimes anyways it can't ALWAYS be killer being sadistic 😒😒😒
#killer got a bit too silly and horror had to put him in line#and by a bit too silly i mean do the wrong thing at the wrong time (when horrors in a bad mood)#i had this idea all throughout school broooo BROOOOO they hate eachother so much why do they stick around#if it were dust doing it he'd do it in silence or maybe rambling a lot of stuff really quietly to himself#but nooo horror likes to rub it in killer's face and oh shiiiit stage 3 RUUUUN#its ok its ok horror dont worry ill protect you with my totally awesome creator powers!#and then they made up and kissed dont worry this was all consensual#dust's bitches get a bit freaky sometimes dont worry it was ALL planned totally not spontaneous#i think this is one of (if not the only) times ive ever DRAWN out my short little ideas#usually i just like. imagine it and then type it out and have to figure out how to make it a hc or rant or wtvr#but i really didn't think i could capture this idea in anything but art. see this is why i dont particularly like my artstyle#this looks SO silly and goofyUGH!!!! if only my art didn't look like an 11 yro drew it#this is totally horrorkiller btw this is ship art :3#thinking about that five finger filet draft i have again about hrkl FUCK i need to actually edit that one#horror's new design looks so cool here UGH THE CLOAK!!! ITS SO SIMPLE BUT ADDS SO MUCH!!!!#mtt are one big echo chamber of negative reinforcement and improvement#they all learn to not piss eachother off but not because they respect eachother#but just because none of them wanna deal with the fighting or the insults#hey i mean...... if it works it works i guess! don't fix what's broken!#besides it's better like this anyways. what's that? actually be vulnerable and learn to accept eachother? you sound mad#they can get their therapy and positive influences ELSEWHERE!!!! TOGETHER THEY SUCK ‼️‼️‼️‼️#alright time to make some progress on swapinverse :3 i've actually been doing a lot lately!!!!#if i dont finish crash's extra facts section today let's just say that you wont be hearing from me. forever. becaus ill be killing myse#tricule art#maybe i should start the comic now...... :3333 mayhaps#NEED TO FINISH CHARACTER LORE AND THEN ACTUAL STORY AND THEN CAN MAKE COMIC
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lmaoooo maffhew wanting the knot immediately and having to wait for sasha to catch up with that is so deeply funny like. this omega is not subtle and you’re not a stupid alpha babe! can only imagine what benny has to say to maffhew about it once he catches on and stops banging his head against a wall
idiots to lovers is always great but especially when its two people who would be hitched with 10 kids by now if they stopped being dumb for a single second like its that easy and yet...
to me they very much fall around the same time (infatuation at first scent if you will) just that sasha takes some time to get there not because he's dumb (okay he's a little dumb) but in the sense that its like "this person is very interested in me, i can see and recognise that but theres so much cognitive dissonance in my brain right now between knowing that intrinsically and finding that hard to believe so i unintentionally play dumb because obviously i'm reading too much into things it cant be me they're interested in haha that'd crazy but they're being awfully touchy and flirty with me wow"
but also it takes two to tango and we have to acknowledge that and this is when i would love to bring up the ways in which this man decides is the best way to go about that because he is a catholic school girlie... there's so much hilarity to be had here especially because his flirting is very uh how you say... a little ass backwards if you will especially considering dynamics
"I make it a point to keep the door closed when we're alone in a room together! That's basically a clear invitation that I'm down to fuck!!! Im basically asking to be ragdolled on his knot!!!"
and Benny just pinches the bridge of his nose like "I don't know how to explain to you in a way you'll understand that not everyone went to Catholic school."
But saying that Sasha does side-eye the door knob heavily when Maffhew goes over to close it the first time and he starts sweating like he just got dragged into a game of 7 Minutes in Heaven he did not sign up for and he's 13 again and oh god he got paired with a really cute girl, and he hasn't even had his first real kiss yet and-
And then absolutely nothing happens because Maffhew is just waiting with a polite expectant smile (because his work here is done, he did the heavy lifting know it's Sasha's turn) and this is when Sasha's dynamic classes training kicks in and he basically scolds himself for even assuming in the first place because this is clearly a show of trust (correct) not an invitation for extra circular activities (incorrect buzzer noise) and it basically becomes "This Omega really trusts me, I'm honoured especially as Pack Leader that I'm able to be so accepted into such a private space with the inherent knowledge that I will not encroach their boundaries whatsoever because consent is verbal, this is not in any way an invitation to take advantage of them this is deep platonic trust I will guard with my life :]"
and if you listen closely you can hear the lovely sounds of Maffhew bashing his head into a wall about how much of a gentleman Sasha is but also COME ONNNNNN... you know... once Maffhew realises what's happening which (looks at my watch) is not due for another few months really
Battle of wills: unstoppable force (maffhews catholic school understanding of dynamic interactions) vs immovable object (overseas alpha cotillion classes)
And if you think it's an Oh! An overseas dynamic thing! It's not. The Euros are watching the horrible car crash in front of them and doing absolutely nothing about it because it's none of their business, but they will stare at it... maybe judge it a bit but definitely are observing from the tall grass.
and I'm also not saying that luosty lundy forsy and bobby have a current running bet of how long it'll take for maffhew to break sasha in but i'm also not not saying that... luosty goaded lundy in the midst of a gossip session ("It has to be 3 months, right?) forsy happened to be around so lundy turned to him for advice ("7 months.") and maybeeee bobby overheard from all the way over from his stall and puts in his two cents for what it's worth ("6. Captain nice but not that nice. Very impatient." "So 3!" "No. Impatience makes him double the time, and wait longer. 6 months.") (lundy finally settles on a good 5 months because he's indecisive)
And Sasha does eventually pick up everything maffhew is throwing down... eventually... and when he does it becomes more so I want to court this omega the way they deserve I will take this slow and romance them sweetly :) *smash cut to maffhew caterwauling like a cat in heat*
but also once again its not like maffhew is helping sasha in any way this is idiot4idiot and benny would like to enjoy the car crash with the euros but unfortunately that's his soulmate, thats his bestie, his littermate from birth who has been weaned on the same teat as they climbed over each other to get to it, the first girl you kissed in your childhood bedroom because somehow you started play fighting on the bed because she was like i could totally pin you down easy and then she does and you always noticed how beautiful she was but shes even more gorgeous when she's pinning your wrists to your hannnah montana duvet you promised yourself youd changed out before she came over but you forget and well she teased you about it and you cant help but giggle about how perfect this all is and it seems that the natural conclusion to this is to taste the strawberry lipgloss of her lips because whats a kiss between besties huh its tacky and sticky and it tastes like summer and just other apt metaphors to put here about the inherent -isms of their relationship that i nearly cant put to words properly other than girls having fun (they are fucking)
and well anyways benny is watching and he has a lot of things to say about how its been proceeding so far
"You should really use your words."
"I am!"
"Right because smelling like a fucking perfume shop in the middle of October is using your words."
"This usually works with most Alphas okay!"
"Sasha isn't most Alphas."
"Tell me about it." Matthew grouses before he peeks over to Sam, looking up from beneath his eyelashes—the exact way he knows both endears him to Sam but also absolutely miffs him all the same, "Worked on you, didn't it?"
"Oh, is that what we're doing right now? We're calling getting a lapful of a preening O in preheat in the middle of a roadie a normal way to go about these things."
"It worked didn't it?" Matthew reiterates.
"It would work better if you use—"
"Okay! Alright!! I get it!!!" He does not.
like benny here is unfortunately an active listening participant in the going ons of the fuckery if not because hes involved by proxy because of maffhew because who else will hold his hair back as he calls him a dumb bitch you know
#ask#i dont think we nearly take enough advantage of maffhew going to a catholic prepatory school#my friend who went to catholic schooling his whole life until highschool (where we met) dropped the bombshell of the door thing on me#to which i went you have to be fucking with me that cant be real and then i was like well i guess its good we're both boys then-#and then he goes oh my mom knows im queer the rule applies to boys too#and i just nervously looked over to the door knob like well uh maybe we should open the door? i dont want your mom to be mad-#and he was like oh shes convinced we've been fucking since we met so this is allowed youre the only boy she lets do this (the door thing)#a couple of years later when he moved out i found out friends weren't allowed over if he was alone in the house but i was the only exceptio#and i felt like the equivalent of a roving tomcat who keeps wandering into the gardens and got the neighbours cat daisy pregnant#i dont think i could ever look that woman in the eye after all that#this is all to say catholic schooling does things to you man#anyways i do have to reiterate every kitty is fucking each other on a normal basis and in an abo au it gets even worse#making our whorehouse a whorehome#ive always said this but flirting with a virgo is like flirting with a brickwall#actually thatd be an insult to the brickwall because at least the brickwall would give you something to work with#the humble virgo looks you in the eyes before they crush your ego with a single word and youre like thank you mistress may i have another#i feel for maffhew i really do#theres just so many funny ways this just goes terribly wrong because both maffhew and sasha are inherently messy people#matthew and sasha on a team outing sat next to each other in a booth and matthew gets a little tipsy and starts rubbing his cheek#on sashas shoulder and sasha is just looking over to benny like please. help. and benny just snorts and blatantly ignores#him as he continues to sip on his beer and sasha just turns to ekky and silently pleads with his eyes. PLEASE. HELP.#ekky huffs and looks away very much not thrilled about being involved in any form whatsoever and hes not gonna change his mind about this#*5 minutes later* and ekky finds himself switching spots with sasha with a cuddly maffhew on his arm and he's a little disgruntled about it#but its very hard to stay upset when maffhew keeps mumbling about how nice he smells and keeps trying to scent him#all over like he has any right to lay a claim when hes been in the pack for such a short time#and yeah okay maybe he preens a little bit at the compliment like just a little#and maybe he does like being treated like a glorified scratching post but matthew doesnt need to know that (matthew knows that)#well anyways
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Hiiii I made a core picrew if u wanna check that out I think that would be super cool <3
#i spent way longer than i thought i would on this#turns out making your picrew lineless brings up a lot more problems than you'd think#i am open to suggestions on this btw!!! if u make anything with this i would love to see it if u want also : )#the color palette may be a bit wack bc its my first time making something like this but!! it was fun!!#its been in my drafts for a few months and then suddenly motivation showed up at my door and i finished the rest of it in two days#thanks adhd very cool can you do this for my school work instead actually please (I'm literally procrastinating while writing this)#<- (its not happening)#portal#portal 2#picrew#im gonna finally let myself make a self reblog sometime later#i should probably reblog this onto my reblog account maybe#can u tell i really want people to see it bc im very happy with the result :3!!!!!
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if escape rooms as team building exercises became popular im not sure if id be more excited or terrified
#if it isnt already anyway.. i can see it happening as a school frosh thing. idk if it would catch on as a workplace thing#i kind of find the concept of being locked in with strangers and working to find a way out weirdly exhilarating though#at least compared to icebreakers cause i dont have to spend 10 minutes racking my brain for something to blurt out abt myself#as a bonus u could like. put people into groups and give prizes to whoever escapes first second third etc. apparently they also do themed#escape rooms.. maybe let people pick a theme? or voluntary sign up? actually this would be really fun for smth like a blind friend date#although if i found out i was locked in a room with an online friend id be too excited to actually escape LOL#ive never done an escape room before so sadly i cant speak from experience. its like up there on things i want to try next to rug tufting#workshop and visiting new art exhibits or conventions. i seriously need to get out more if it wasnt for the horrors <- school and anxiety#i was planning to invite cass to a drop-in art workshop in town but neither of us could go bc typography is making us go thru hell and back#AND THEY HAD A BUTTON MACHINE TOO#im nostalgic bc i miss working in groups and not being awkward abt it or worrying abt schedule conflicts#i realized that i learn best in groups and its a little corny but i like sharing ideas and talking through a problem#in elementary i could just sit down with friends for review and come out of it energized *and* more familiar with the material#and i could technically still do it now. but as adults we're more picky abt who we work with on top of being way more busy outside school#maybe im lonely. im shy and grew up not talking to ppl unless i absolutely have to so its hard to make friends on my own i guess#only thing getting me thru it is telling myself that humans like helping and that my cringe is overblown in my head. but its hard#hence the escape rooms. i have been able to talk to 2(!!) people though!! mostly abt school stuff but im glad to be on friendly terms#i dont really know how to be happy these days cause im constantly scaring myself abt my portfolio and finding places to work#not being ambitious is part of not wanting to put energy into something that wont work out while also not having the passion to do literall#anything else.. i should probably talk to my counsellor ugh#yapping
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