#i should make a tag 4 this too
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do you guys like digital circusified lightbrush i think they kinda funny
#inanimate insanity#the amazing digital circus#ii lightbulb#ii paintbrush#ii trophy#lightbrush#arent they hilarious#ARE YOU LAUGHING GUYS#CUZ I AM#i just think itd be funny for her to be a mime#i should make a tag 4 this too#bcuz i know im gonna draw even more of it#the amazing inanimate circus au#tryinh to be mor organised on this blog#but not like organised enough to tag everything i do#yk what i mean
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anyone else have multiple traumatic memories associated specifically with holidays/family vacations? because that is a topic I never see discussed in all the So You Had A Shitty Childhood, Now What? self-help books i've been reading. but for me, it was a significant thing. and the more i think about it the more it seems like this would be an (unfortunately) common experience. would be grateful to hear if this matches other peoples' experiences...
#not a shitpost#serious post#ask to tag#tw trauma#cptsd#c-ptsd#and if so we should TALK about it#because it means there are a whole group of survivors out there whose mental health regularly worsens during holidays#like i know i am most certainly not the only person who feels an undefined Dread hanging over christmas/my birthday/july 4 etc#bc too many shitty things happened during those times and now my brain is hypervigilant bc traditionally these are the Danger Times#and this seems like it would be particularly common for survivors of abusive/dysfunctional households (aka most people with c-ptsd)#because holidays/vacations typically mean 1) the whole family is together/being forced to interact#2) and undergoing external stressors e.g. travel/relatives aka 'outsiders' visiting/routines & coping mechanisms being interrupted etc#3) there is social pressure for this to be a Fun Family Bonding Experience which only highlights the cracks in the foundation#and exposes the common Everything Is Fine/We Are A Happy Family lie#4) the cognitive dissonance of feeling tired/anxious/stressed/afraid during a time when you are 'supposed' to be Making Good Memories#and then everyone is angry/tired/anxious/triggered and things boil over and something or someone goes Very Wrong#weird that i'm posting this in october when halloween is...sort of the ONLY holiday i have only good and happy feelings towards#i got lucky there#also i have positive feelings towards Labor Day but that's for socialist reasons
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this is basically what happened, right?
(these guys are very lucky that everyone at NRC 1) has the combined intelligence of a sack of bricks, and 2) is easily distracted by shiny things.)
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#stage in playful land#stage in playfulland#these two are SO sleazy and i am utterly delighted by them#can't wait to find out their tragic backstory in approximately 3-4 weeks!#fortunately i have like a month to figure out how the heck to draw their hair (spoiler: i will never figure it out)#also. god. i love it whenever leona accidentally reveals his Mom Side.#he doesn't care about any of this but he WILL be tagging along to make sure no one else gets into trouble#once again he has to be the Responsible Adult and he hates it. the whimsical hat weighs heavy upon his head.#anyway this is me so excuse me while i now talk about diasomnia for three hours#but lilia being all 'kids gotta have some adventure in their lives!' is hilarious#specifically because you know silver would NEVER.#100% silver not only never snuck out but he always went to bed on time AND brushed his teeth AND flossed even when nobody made him.#lilia: aww but you should be enjoying your youth! >:c#silver: i am. i enjoy being respectful and disciplined and honoring you as my father.#lilia:#lilia: maybe i'm TOO good at raising kids#you know i was going to say none of his kids would be involved in this but i actually think malleus definitely would#he would not see it as a moral quandry though. he would just be excited to be invited along.#(the only reason he isn't there is because he was busy admiring a termite-infested beam somewhere and yuu didn't get a chance to ask him)#i mean MAYBE if lilia as his single authority figure told him no then he would have some reservations#but lilia's the one who's screaming HELL YEAH LET'S SNEAK OUT AND DEFY AUTHORITY while dabbing so moot point there#sebek would never and he would rat on everyone else. unless malleus is going in which case he's already there.#and i guess if everyone else is going silver probably would too#but he'd. y'know. feel conflicted about it.
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A continuation of this post
You thought it was just rise and 2012?
Im thinking Iāll make more of these crossover shenanigans Iāve got a lot of ideas silly smirk emoji
NEXT
#rottmnt#tmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#teenage mutant ninja turtles#rise of the tmnt#art#rise tmnt#tmnt leonardo#2012 tmnt#2003 tmnt#tmnt crossover#itās 4:44 am at the time of writing this lol#hyperfixated too much and I hear my familyās alarm clocks chiming#2003 leo#2003 teenage mutant ninja turtles#tmnt 2003#gonna tag it crossover prank war or something idk#crossover prank war#ok thatās a lame tag what should I actually make it#tw eyetrain#cw eyestrain#eyestrian#eyestrain#can you tell I canāt to backgrounds#tmnt donatello
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![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/c406ed72b964beb3e031d8983ea83dbc/494e5bb51e979b13-21/s640x960/f6976381d6976a5239bb3b318a389639fe3814d2.jpg)
post-mission shenanigans
#caused quite a stir on twitter so figured I should post here too :0#happy to announce i am extremely annoying about resident evil <3 yes i love the sexies <3#i hope i make more painterly pieces soon ahh š„¹#art tag#resident evil#resident evil 4#re4make#re4#ada wong#leon kennedy#aeon#ada wong x leon kennedy#leon kennedy x ada wong#nya that should be all#oh also this whole thing i hc was leonās idea#both needed a lil time to be silly off work teehee
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![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/3832204bf25c2ab43903753112ed567d/225b3bbddc4afb31-32/s540x810/16dc4248a95917076f01a9036ebb868e02a39e0e.jpg)
Thinking about vampires, death, life, and the space they occupy in between
#to be or not to be. that is the question#ty adam for being my model for dramatic vampire moment#musings on the thinkings about:#when to live you are required to hurt others. you must repeatedly ask yourself what the value of your life is#To sleep... perchance to dream...#ah. THERES THE RUB.#ok I actually couldnt come up with too many thoughts. I had a lot more while I was drawing this but I guess I put them in the painting LOL#reading that soliloquy and being like damn this is just like vampires#the reality of course is that the soliloquy is a debate over suicide and ultimately making the choice to live#even if just out of fear of the unknown#and vampires are about dying and then in undeath choosing to continue to live#despite the fear of eternity and loneliness and hurting others#theyre not the same. but like let me thiiink come onnnn I'm allowed to thiiink and have incomplete thoughts#I would have to write like a proper essay about this to organize my thoughts. this is the tags on a tumblr post.#anyways finished episode 79#working on patreon stickers for this month (and next month soon)#and working on book 4. taking a pause from episodes cause I've got 3 weeks of buffer now... UGH#I'm so mad that they changed it. it would have been 5 weeks before but it's fine it's whatever#anyways yeah taking a break from episodes to make my book now!#its good stuff.#and this painting is good stuff#banger after banger from me tbh#this was a little relaxing giving myself a couple hours to muse#it's necessary for my health and I always forget that til I do a painting...#I loved doing the little landscape in the background too I should do that more! I love how plants are just like whatever shape you want#like you can make up any plant you want and not only does that plant PROBABLY exist somewhere#a weirder plant exists somewhere too. so. literally whatever you want#ok bye again for a few days while I get back to work
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tlm lottery au except minus everything about the lottery and skip to the stoning part. bye bye construction Boy.
#the lego movie#lego movie#benny the spaceman#benny tlm#unikitty#princess unikitty#lego batman#batman#general mayhem#sweet mayhem#emmet brickowski#emmet tlm#you can tell i started giving up halfway through#never ask azalea to draw a comic digitally she'll explode and die#my goofy ass was like loll ikilledtvguy put a funny comment too i should make a bonus thing for that#as if i was ever not finishing this as 4 am#ok enough tag ramblings go have lunch person reading this thankss bye
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damocles ; sword perspective
uncropped + detail closeups
#supernatural#sam winchester#hey. i wrote a page of concept notes before i started painting this. with the thought 'i should make a painting about dean :)' ...#so it is inevitably of sam LOL. i was gonna paint deans face reflected in the blade but it seemed too on the nose. and confusing. and work.#anyway. my non-descriptive explanation notes read:#this is about the tension present in season 5 with the voicemail in mind.#how with what sam knows; the only way it could end is :#to die a monster at the hands of his brother - whether they win or not. (either in the big fight or he gets put down for being a bloodsucki#or to die a martyr - proving his humanity by saving the world and slaying the beast (himself and the devil. 2 birds 1 stone)#ghostart#i got my hands stuck doing the pose ref for the rosary. i truly suffer for my art ... oh and the 18 hours of painting too i guess#hm. 'bloodsucking freak' got cut off 4 tags up. whatever
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itās like baby gorl thereās no way I, the author who wrote the fic youāre commenting on and who is the intended audience for this comment, am gonna agree with you šæš some things can just stay on your chest š
#thereās a threshold I think of what I accept in comments about characters#and their actions or about who is in the wrong or what should happen#because I do like reading peopleās opinions#and sometimes when someone is like I didnāt like obi-wan in this fic#Iām like makes sense! maybe you werenāt supposed to or maybe the argument they had was supposed to not be clear cut on who is right#because arguments in real life donāt always have a clear cut winner or morally superior person lmao#Iām ok with that Iām ok with comments saying boo this character is annoying#because sometimes they just are (eg the amount of people who just donāt like obiwan in pbatmb like?? yeah of course heās not gonna be nice#but I digress lol#anyway but thereās a threshold of when comments about not liking a character go too far and youāre just like.#saying mean things about the writing itself and thatās not something lm gonna allow to be normalized#no matter the intention behind it#you do not type a comment like this knowing it wil be send to an author#who will get an email notification about a comment#click on it and go oooo long comment :D and then go oh.#you donāt do that itās rude itās being a jerk#Iāve been here for like 3 almost 4 years I feel ancient in this fandom sometimes#and Iāve gotten so much feedback on my work through that time and so many nice comments and community#but mean comments can really hurt especially new writers#and they can make people who maybe would write fic for a fandom decide to not#like this isnāt even that mean I can almost see the writer just wanting to say how they feel#but sometimes you do not have to š#also I just think this understanding of the characterizations in the fic and probably their understanding of the characters in the films#is a wee bit trash but thatās for me to say in the long tags of my own blog post and not for me to comment on their fics for the fandom#(they donāt have any but I did check because 3am kit felt nosy)
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fallout oc #1 is here!! raised by raiders, slightly rotten, and very stinky. he found his guitar buried under some old rubble and talks to it like his best friend.
#fallout#fallout 4#oc: rip#my art tag#the guitars name is bloody mary. i tried to make it look 1950s :shrug:#high charisma low intelligence on too many chems. definitely thriving.#i should mention he can't actually play the guitar very well and its got a broken string but hes doing his best
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hotel wip???
#idk i havent built in a while but i renovated a hotel build off the gallery and the synapses started firing so i started to build my own#i stopped building bc i suck ass at exteriors its embarassing i just dk how to make things symetrical and then rooms end up too small BUT#im doing ok so far there's 4 two bed rooms nd 2 single bed rooms and then two āpenthouseā suites#also i havent playtested yet so dont get too attatched but also im kinda excited to play w/ this!#idk what mod it's from but the rental (shared) lot type works so well w/ hotels i will say it is laggy tho so be wary of that#also umm i hv w*ckedwhms now um that mod is... a lot esp w/ hotels but i guess it's kinda accurate?? it's fun to snoop on sims#s#wip#not tagging this bc i dont wanna let ppl down if i end up not finishing im unemployed so i really should be doing more productive things#but oh well :p
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inspo post / ref credit
#yagami takayuki#takayuki yagami#lost judgment#judgment#judge eyes#jichanart#jichan'shandslipped#sketched directly over the ref just for convenience#this one was just for funsies. maybe i should have been more thirsty about it#(shows up several months late to the post) hey guys what's up#i was uh. digging too deep on the kuwagami tag on passthroughtime's blog. that's the context#between 1. the scans 2. the tags 3. the tags being pointed out and 4. me making the art -- we can consider this a group effort i think
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#monogatari series#monogatari#monogatari oms#nademonogatari#nadeko draw#yotsugi ononoki#ononoki yotsugi#nadekodraw:tv#monogatariseries:gif#nadekkogif#ok i MUST go nuts about this somewhere so (cracks knuckles) tumblr tags let's go#first gif yotsugi is doing an attitude pirouette en dedans#second gif yotsugi is doing a demi rond de jambe Ć” terre from fifth position#technically sheās dancing on pointe w/ her boot acting as a pointe shoe which is clever!!! her boots must have crazy foot articulation LOL#for context these are ballet moves which I LOVE!!! i am being catered to shaft looked at ME & said NADEKO DRAW HAS BALLET MOVES 4 U!!!#SO the real neat thing about this imo is the way that it is animated. probably done this way by the limitations of the animators timewise#for context in ballet a key thing when you dance is that your body should be constantly moving outwards from yourself e.g.#your arms reach as far as they can and your legs reach as far as they can etc. your back too! up and out like you are being pulled!!!#the point of this is bc dance is alive & humans who dance are alive! even when you hold a position you are thinking about moving outward#doing this breathes SO MUCH life into the dance! it is literally so important visually it makes a HUGE impact#but yotsugi doesn't do this! she doesn't breathe life into the dance bc she's not extending her body outward she simply holds a position#yotsugi is obviously very skilled to do what she's doing here like a pirouette is hard af you need crazy strength to go on pointe too#so imo she performs the moves in the correct way! she is turned out! she knows what she is doing! this is not due to lack of training!#my personal theory is that she moves this way because she is a reanimated corpse!!! she literally CANNOT dance like somebody who is alive!!#corpse baby is dancing her best and imo she's very good!!! š„ŗ#as a ballet enthusiast i just think it's a really neat lil touch and works well (despite the fact that it is probably accidental LOL)#anyway hi i'm noisy please enjoy my ballet ramblings lmfao! i will regif this when the BD comes out bc i want it to be extra pretty!!!#regarding the gifs. both first and second are loops!!! please enjoy ballet dancer yotsugi š©°
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Some of you fuckers: EsuPuri are so overhyped and there's a clear bias for EsuYume over the others and they all just kinda suck
EsuPuri:
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/d47ac8b455eed69638d008c8a43df388/698f127811d102c4-c9/s540x810/747bc8727001b951e86c81b8a0f17cbc3b649f5c.jpg)
(Also for my more in depth opinions read this post before saying anything)
#shay speaks#enstars#esupuri#i will be their strongest defender idc#you guys are too mean to them. theyve had one unit event together#like. idk#you wouldnt say the same thing about crazyb and hot limit and rinniki would you#no bc we have had 4+ years to get to know these characters#the esupuri characters were announced like 8 months ago#and only just debuted as a unit.#the other characters will get their time in the spotlight#but they cant do it all at once man#kanna got his fs1 4* and the story was good for him as a character#they arent ignoring everyone else you just dont like their release schedule#and you dont like that they introduced new characters and dares take an event slot#from everyone else#which is so dumb they make sure to have enough slots adding two units if ibuki is indeed#a solo unit collabing w akatsuki w we still have more than enough time to cover all of them#you guys are just too mean#nobody who follows me btw afaik this is about a few specific users in the tag#i already blocked one of them though bc it annoyed me too much#anyway i should go shower
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anyone else feeling fundamentally incapable of adjusting to society. also just discovered there's a 30 tag limit which i can't believe i've never hit before
#like it was one thing when i was in high school and college like wasn't socialized as a child due to not receiving schooling and growing up#sda blah blah whatever but like i'm almost 27 and i am barely functioning lol like i feel like i'm struggling to have a normal conversation#even more than i used to and i think my speech cadence is noticably off which i don't think it always has been#some of it is definitely from chronic exhaustion from having to get up too early and the stress of having a frequently panic inducing boss#but like. come on now. i can't even drive despite finally having a license because i'm too scared/distractible/poor reaction time#over a dozen antidepressants have not worked. adderall is not working great either#i'm SO much dumber than i used to be and it's driving me quite literally insane#i don't even think it's from getting covid in july because i was noticing it before although it definitely became way more noticeable after#i got this job. i've never been this bad at a job in my life and it's something anyone who knows me would assume i'd be good at#it's embarrassing. i cannot fucking remember anything i struggle to do the most basic of arithmetic to fill prescriptions i make the same#silly mistakes multiple times i am constantly asking stupid questions and still somehow fucking up all the time#it's not as bad as it was a couple months ago and frankly i'm shocked i haven't gotten fired i keep thinking that's going to happen#of course i wanted to quit this job four months ago but now i'm at like a sunk cost fallacy point unfortunately#this is obviously not like any kind of career position for many reasons but i don't know what else to do unless i move across the country#again. i'm not even qualified for anything besides animal related things and summer camp which are fine obviously but not great if you want#things like benefits or paid leave or not to get burned out as hell lmao#i don't even feel like i could do any customer service jobs because i literally struggle to put a coherent sentence together on the spot#everything is so slow. soooo slow i'm literally losing my mind which is catastrophic because my mind is all i've ever had going for me#and i'm having kind of a horrible existence lately which is exacerbating all my problems except the problems make it mostly impossible to d#anything to fix it. ok going out and doing some fun stuff for a day makes me feel better that's great. except then i need a day after that#to recover from doing things the previous day. so the only feasible day for doing things would be saturday. except on saturdays i'm#recovering from working. i literally only work 4 days and barely over 30 hours it's Not that crazy. i mean the boss is crazy and the job ca#also be crazy obviously but 30 hours a week is minimal compared to other work schedules i've maintained before#anyway but the most i can do after work is go to the store if i need to but i almost never have energy for anything fun#and the fucking bus doesn't run on sundays and walking miles to get literally anywhere takes a lot of energy i don't have#i'm about to move next weekend and i'm dreading it because it's going to be so much work and i'm so fucking tired#and i don't have any friends to help me with cleaning i might be able to get help moving my stuff but i'm not even confident about that#i might have to rent a uhaul but i would honestly rather pay somebody to help because i'm that scared of driving even for one 30 min trip#whatever....sorry i had to feel bad for myself in the tumblr dot edu tags again i'm not in therapy rn#(<- guy who should be in therapy)
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the fact that j.oongi doesn't show up until the second to last chapter of y.akuza 8.............. how else am I gonna be motivated to play? /j
#ash rambles š#actually.. s.ugiura shows up in that game-#but seriously ajdhwjej#i love how the director legit said 'yeah i wasnt gonna put j.oongi in the game but he has so many fans so may as well stick him in lol'#I'm glad since him and ash can finally reunite and FINALLY FUCKING DATE#it took them 3 years to say something..#y'all are pushing 40 and can't even confess??? oh come on man#on that note. i always forget that j.oongi is around that age- i kinda lump him in with my y.akuza f/os that are mid-20s#but nope#he's got a decade on them#he's born in the 80s shockingly enough#anyways#speaking of y.akuza 8... there's another character i have my eyes on. i wont say much since I've still gotta beat 7 but#the sapphic yearning... i love girls so much... she's so gorgeous.. wonder if she likes girls too..#unrelated but thank you to y.8 for making it canon that S.eonhee likes girls. we knew anyway but thank you so much anyway šš½šš½šš½#this post is all over the place... there's been a lot going on as of late irl qjdhajdhs but I'm doing my best and hanging in there#this other crush i have is taking over my brain though. havent been into the series for 3-4 years so it's pretty nuts to randomly go#'WAIT ISNT THAT ONE GUY FROM THAT OLD ASS MOVIE SERIES KINDA...'#i wont post about him too much here because i'm honestly embarrassed about it but maybe a few gifs wont hurt#oh fucking hell why does his theme always come on when I'm thinking about him- it's really good and always on my on repeat but ugh#anyways back to j.oongi#I'm so excited to see him in 8 <3 even if i have to wait a whole game to do it. ALSO HE HAS A COWBOY OUTFIT IN THAT GAME.... HIIIII-#I'm so glad they took him out of his trash bag jacket fit#like a flowing wind š³#chain breaker āļø#<- gonna have that be the tag for the other guy from that movie series#but yeah.. i do need to get to 8 to see whats the deal with that pretty girl.. theres this scene at a casino#where she wears a low cut backless dress and i just. fuck. fuuuccck. you single?? you like girls??? i don't even know her but WOW.#anyways i love j.oongi so much#i should get ready for class now.. think I'm almost at tag limit anyway... see ya!
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