#i should just stick to queer books instead

[sabulana]

I feel like this would be an 'ice cream for breakfast' kind of day but my husband brought me curry and chips on his way home from a night out and that was my breakfast at 4am this morning.

So ice cream for lunch I guess

I need some kind of comfort food while I comfort watch one of my fave shows ever and write fanfic on my phone

[dekusleftsock]

People claim to be tired of the "Power of friendship" trope bc they more often than not severely underestimate how much a person's vulnerability and social upbringing can impact their points of view and actions, and specifically what happens when they are shown the opposite of them, or had to be put in a situation that would challenge it somehow.

Or how people will just not pay attention to a character's story or the theme of the narrative around them, so anything out of the "Basic" is put of no where 🙃

I will say, another reason people probably feel it’s “out of nowhere” is BECAUSE it’s queer.

Queerness doesn’t belong in shonen. It’s about cool hot dudes being the shit out of cool hot villains. Deku is a “baddass” now but was he when the first few episodes came out? The first season? The first book? No, of course he wasn’t. That was when Izuku was his most crybaby self, and most of all when he didn’t HAVE a pretty woman to kill the possibility of his queerness.

He was fatherless, he was androgynous, he had a suspicious relationship to his mean rival, why did he care so much about him?

And what’s especially interesting is to see the reactions to the subversions Horikoshi has been making for a very, very long time.

Bakugou is never beat, he’s befriended in a complex relationship between him and his childhood friend.

Izuku’s mentor allmight doesn’t die in some tragic way, he survives. I think people forget that allmight is a subversion of the dead mentor trope. But instead, allmight lives, weak as he is, after a fight that by every angle you look at he should have died.

Toga isn’t jealous of Ochako over Izuku, she’s in love with her. They denied that one along with her bisexuality for a while.

Izuku isn’t saved and brought back by his love interest, but rather his oldest friend at his lowest point.

Endeavor isn’t just “abusive dad” for the rest of the series that Shoto must overcome and “stick it to the man”, he actually has an atonement arc, one where he realizes his mistakes and his son is waiting to forgive him.

None of these subversions were out of nowhere. It was always clear that allmight would survive, bakugou would be befriended, toga was bisexual and in love with ochako, bakugou would save Izuku, and that endeavor wouldn’t stay the abusive figure he was forever.

So why is it that the queer subversions are “out of nowhere”?

Why are they suddenly “the power of friendship”?

[itsclydebitches]

ted's, "it's not about me. it never was"

and all I felt from trent was, "oh, but it was"

I thought trent was going to stick to his word and tell ted why he was wrong...

but I guess ted just summed up his outlook and something trent so loves him for, so trent couldn't deny ted's wish. but there's got to be a future out there where, while still published as "the richmond way," trent still goes on and tells ted why, for trent, ted was entirely wrong about that.

I feel like in the show I want Ted Lasso to be -- and, crucially, the show I thought it was; the show it arguably should have been based on every other episode that came before this -- Trent would have corrected him. Because this is not an acknowledgement that Richmond doesn't belong to Ted, or even Rebecca, which is a reminder that I like. Ted allowing the fans to sit in on the practices and Rebecca selling portions of the club to people like Mae highlights the heart of the team, that this club "means something" to the community, to quote Trent. However, the book is explicitly, specifically about this particular season of football and how Richmond came to have their Cinderella moment... which is all due to Ted. I get why "Believe" is framed as the fourth factor in Total Football (and frankly I think it would have been a better title for Trent's book if he had to reject The Lasso Way), but belief is only the end result of the work Ted has done. Anyone could have waltzed into Richmond and said, "Believe in yourself!" but it wouldn't have done a damn thing because it was the unique approach of The Lasso Way that taught everyone what belief really means. Ted is the fourth aspect because it is only through his methods that generic concepts like Belief, Friendship, Trust, Compassion, etc. become understood well enough to be implemented despite the obstacles.

So yes, I think Ted is wrong. Trent isn't arguing that Richmond belongs to him, he's arguing that Ted irrevocably changed Richmond for the better... which is true. But the finale doesn't commit to that argument because, frankly, the finale commits to VERY little that the rest of the show lays out.

Ted Lasso spent its whole runtime arguing for Roy/Keeley and then dodged it at the last moment.

The finale argues strongly that Rebecca is already a metaphorical mom to the team and the fans, but then throws in a literal, blonde-haired blue-eyed daughter in at the last second.

The show has consistently framed Beard/Jane as an abusive relationship -- from Higgins intervention to Beard talking to God about his addiction to "pain" -- but the finale irrevocably fames this as true love instead.

Our wonderful queer plot-line made it clear that Colin was too scared to kiss his fellow after a game because that would out him as the only pro, queer footballer... and then he just does it anyway. Which I'm not upset about on its own, to be clear, rather I'm upset that there was no setup for why Colin's feelings changed; why he's suddenly willing to shoulder an understandable, HUGE downside.

The finale argues VERY strongly that Ted should not go back to Kansas. In fact, I plan to write a whole damn essay on that. He's clearly not himself, Rebecca is begging him to stay, Beard is staying and is in tears over the idea of betraying him, they haven't won the whole thing yet which provides a practical reason for him to stick around, Ted literally questions whether he's making a foolish, horrible choice as he's sitting on the plane... and then he does it anyway.

This finale is chock-full of choices that don't match up with what the rest of Ted Lasso has written, or even something from earlier in the finale itself. When Trent says that he's going to push back against any criticisms and explain why they're wrong, outside of the jokey "I'm a passionate writer, an ~artist, who is a little on the arrogant side," it sets up a moment for Trent to indeed correct one of them about their view of the book. After all, he's been the observer all season and arguably has a more objective understanding of what's been happening around him than they do. We've already seen it! Trent stops Ted and (accurately) explains how no, he hasn't changed tactics. You've been doing this for three years. I can see that even when you can't.

The show sets up the moment where Trent will explain that Ted is the foundation of Richmond's success and, presumably, helping him come to terms with staying here.

... and then we never got that.

There were honestly so many parts of the finale that I loved, but most of them were details like the Sound of Music farewell, or putting the "Believe" sign back together. Structurally, one of the few things I really bought into was the team winning the West Ham match and losing the league... which was unfortunately soured after the fact because that now reads as the PERFECT excuse for Ted to stay another season, yet he doesn't. I'm trying so hard not to read the whole thing pessimistically given how many of those details I loved, but when the core plot of the episode has so many problems, damn is it difficult. Other than Rebecca, it felt like the whole cast, Trent included, just gave up on Ted and given my very strong feelings about Kansas I wanted to shake the episode by the shoulders and go, "Stop acting as if this is a good thing just because this is what the writers originally planned! Did you learn nothing from HIMYM??" There are these moments, like with the book note, where you get this sense that everyone is respecting Ted's wishes, but that they thoroughly disagree with them, and the show never hits the point where Ted's viewpoint is appropriately challenged in a way that would make him reconsider. Despite the fact that Ted is a character who frequently needs to be challenged due to limited, inaccurate perspectives brought on by his anxiety (this season gave us "Find out before you freak out" as a big example). I legit had hope for a moment when Sharon showed up, thinking that Ted's therapist of all people would be able to articulate why giving up his family/support system to play his mother's approved version of fatherhood might not be the best decision... but, like so many other aspects, her return didn't amount to anything other than a wholesome callback.

It's a tragedy, frankly. As in, the genre definition. Everyone in the Ted Lasso cast is living the Rom-Com ending of found family, new romantic relationships, and bright, happy, humorous moments... except for Ted himself, staring pensively into the camera as he comes full circle, back to where he began. Back in Kansas. Back (non-romantically) with a woman who doesn't like him very much. Back trying to be a perfect father because that's what's expected of him + that's what his trauma demands of him. And now he's dealing with Jack, no Beard, no American football, no professional soccer, no visits as the rest of his family undergoes major life changes. Just Henry and the reminders from Season One that you're allowed to be a goldfish. After all that growth Ted has gone backwards.

I said before that obviously they were setting up the Kansas ending -- I'm not saying it came out of nowhere, not at all -- but I really don't understand how anyone can watch that and not feel depressed as hell about it. Ted Lasso is a show that consistently left me feeling good and hopeful and nearly giddy with pleasure. It says something that after finishing yesterday I mostly just felt hollow.

[celestiamour]

‧₊˚✧ ❛[ queer headcanons - chronicles of narnia ]❜

ft. peter pevensie, susan pevensie, edmund pevensie, lucy pevensie, caspian x, eustace scrubb, tumnus, jadis, lilliandil

contains: caspeter (caspian x peter), peter's part is vague but he's definitely not straight despite what he's listed as, gay gay homosexual gay, mentioned transphobia & fights, pronouns match the ones used in the books/movies for writing consistency

➤ author's note: I saw some other people doing it, so i wanted to join in on the fun too!! remember that these are fictional characters with no set sexuality/gender, this is just for fun & for my to further procrastinate my wips

━━━ .°˖✧ peter pevensie - straight ally (unless??) ˚₊ ⊹

╰₊✧ he was more than supportive of all his siblings when they came out, but never thought it was for him. like he has no issue in saying that a guy was attractive but wasn't actually attracted to him for the most part. he never properly questioned his sexuality until arriving in narnia for a second time and refuses to admit (although it was painfully obvious) that his gay awakening was a certain telmarine prince who happened to be his rival and a pretty boy— let's just say he's fighting a lot of internal demons.

━━━ .°˖✧ susan pevensie - lesbian ˚₊ ⊹

╰₊✧ (it was actually more difficult for her to accept that she didn't like men than to accept that she did like women). she was never interested in marriage proposals, invitations to dance, and general flirtatious advancements from men, finding her heart failing to flutter for any of them and only feeling general annoyance by it more than anything. she always told herself that she just hadn't met the right one, but quickly realized that she held no hope nor care if it ever happened. it wasn't until she felt her heart pounding for the first girl who displayed romantic interest for her did she begin to see love from a new perspective.

━━━ .°˖✧ edmund pevensie - transmasc demiromantic pansexual ˚₊ ⊹

╰₊✧ grew up being a tomboy who fussed over his hair growing past his ears, refused to wear dressed to mass or skirts to class, wore all of peter's old clothes instead of susan's, and then realized that he wasn't a girl. being crowned as "king edmund" was the first time he was his true self publicly, and he remained like that even back in england where he wasn't accepted by everyone. although his older brother sometimes gets into fights for his sake, he considers it as filtering out who he should spend his time with and who he should ignore. as a result, he doesn't date around much, but if someone manages to stick with him through all of his insecurities and trauma, he'll find himself slowly falling in love.

━━━ .°˖✧ lucy pevensie - asexual polyamorous lesbian ˚₊ ⊹

╰₊✧ she's always been a girl's girl who was for the girls! the valiant queen has plenty of love to go around, often seen spending quality with her girlfriend(s, who are probably also dating each other): having picnics, horseback riding, hosting tea parties, dancing, and so much more when she isn't performing her royal duties. she doesn't mind being intimate if her partner desires it, but she much prefers bonding in the ways listed above instead.

━━━ .°˖✧ caspian x - bisexual ˚₊ ⊹

╰₊✧ a real lover boy, flirting with both men and women, always making them swoon and blush over his handsome smile to fill an emptiness in his heart. it seemed like no one was able to ignore his irresistible charm until a certain blonde royal showed up with his sword swinging and an arrogant front to hide his true fears. caspian can’t remember the last time he felt so infuriated with someone he was determined to make his, but that would only make the victory of an eventual confession so much sweeter.

━━━ .°˖✧ eustace scrubb - gay demiromantic asexual ˚₊ ⊹

╰₊✧ grew up thinking girls were icky or had cooties before realizing that he simply wasn't attracted to them and they weren't all that bad. he's not completely uninterested in romance, just struggles to find and form a bond with a guy who doesn't think he is weird or mean, and then he struggles to determine if he likes him as a friend or potential love interest. it makes him seem picky in the eyes of others, but maybe he has a unique "friendship" with a boy from his childhood whom he writes to daily and can't envision himself with anyone else. (oh, and he's repulsed by the idea of sex, dare he say disgusted by it)

━━━ .°˖✧ tumnus - non-binary pansexual ˚₊ ⊹

╰₊✧ he doesn't care about gender within himself or his partners as the inner qualities they both possess are much more important. he could be referred to as "he" "she" "they" or something else entirely, he doesn't mind and prefers others to use whichever one they feel like. after becoming both an advisor and uncle figure to the pevensies, he helped immensely in their journey of accepting themselves since they came from a time/place where they could be ostracised for it, and they carried his wisdom long after leaving narnia.

━━━ .°˖✧ jadis - aromantic lesbian ˚₊ ⊹

╰₊✧ she doesn’t care for love nor does she have time for it. romance has never been something she ever considered adding to her long list of priorities, and it honestly made her scoff whenever she heard of it. however, she doesn’t mind having fun with a beautiful dryad who managed to look her in the eyes with an emotion other than fear and then sending them on their way before she gets tempted to eternally preserve their beauty in her growing garden of statues.

━━━ .°˖✧ lilliandil - transfem pansexual ˚₊ ⊹

╰₊✧ I don't have an explanation for this one, she has like five minutes of screen time— it feels right. she's a star who shines for all and is admired by all.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIbta if I don't read an author's books for their opinion on book piracy?

Context: I live in a country where literary has plummeted, reading is a hobby for the privileged, bookstores are closing or dilapidated, libraries are worse off.

Bookstores here are not good at keeping up with new releases. Their bestsellers are local publishes, and things like Percy Jackson or the Hardy boys. Requesting them to bring books almost never works.

With libraries, schools and colleges have their private ones only open to students and staff but they're... Restrictive about what someone can check out. Librarians here totally pro-censorship. Public libraries are less than 10 in my metro city, they keep old books, academic texts, and in some cases specialize in one area. That includes one of the biggest libraries in the country. And it's like 6 hours to commute so that's not a sustainable option for me. Of course library apps straight up don't exist here.

We have a couple book box subscription services. One sends those bestsellers that everyone's read as kids. The other one is expensive and more of a privileged influencer orientated thing than for readers.

What I said so far might sound too bad to be true but it is the reality. Physical books have been getting expensive worldwide. On top of that if I can't be caught reading things our government doesn't like. I read a lot of classics, for which I use a legal free site. But for something like a queer fantasy book written by a foreigner my only options are buying on kindle or well.. downloading them. Kindle doesn't always have the books I want, but the download sites tend to bring in requested books.

So of course there's ethical dilemma. With my salary I can save up and buy 6-7 books a year, I only buy the ones I've read and thoroughly enjoyed, enough to want them on my shelf or because I want to support the author, even with the risk of kindle copies being taken away at an exec's whim in the future.

I found out a couple authors I really wanted to read from are anti-piracy, one of them put a message like "Whoever pirates this book I put a curse on you" in their ya fantasy book. And I don't read a lot of ya but that book sounded interesting, until I saw that. These author's tone while talking about readers in my kind of position put me off and I decided not to read their works.

My logic is that I'd rather download and see if I love a book before buying, if I love it I wouldn't want to support people like them and feel bad reading it too, if I buy first and hate it then it's a waste of my money while the authors get a few cents off that purchase.

So naturally I've been told to suck it up, read less, stop reading if I can't afford, stick to free classics and fanfics, make more money, bring revolution in my country etc.

I do feel bad about the authors, even though most of what I read are from dead people there's a good amount of living people too and not all of them are getting their coins whether I want to give it to them or not. And the reason for this ask: Someone said I'm overreacting to those authors, I should just read those books like a normal person and move on instead of viewing them as books not to be touched.

So?

What are these acronyms?

[wen-kexing-apologist]

Hello.....How are you? Thanks so much for sharing your analysis in your blog. I'm new to BL. I felt really helped in finding your blog. I lived in a country where LGBTQ+ is considered taboo and my own family saw it as something sinful. Until I found mlm fanfics (I know it's a ridicilous reason for why now I'm interested in BL & GL media).

Can I ask, what are your top 7 (or top 5) favorite BL media (can be books/ manga/ anime/movies/tv series) ? Why do you love them? And your top 5 (or top 3) favorite GL media? Sorry for asking similar question like from someone before (hope you don't mind).

Thanks again, @wen-kexing-apologist 💐🌻🌷

Hello! So sorry this took so long to respond to, I have been really busy and this write up took me a bit of time to get together. 

Thanks for reaching out, I’m sorry that your family sees queerness as sinful. I’m sure we come from different countries, and different cultures, but I hope I can give you some comfort by saying I am proud of who I am and I love being queer. I love my queer friends, they are without a doubt the kindest and most caring people I have ever met. And you do not need to apologize at all for asking a similar question to a previous ask. I also hope you know that it is not ridiculous at all to have your eyes opened by mlm fanfiction, I promise. 

So my list of (some) of my favorite BLs are:

ITSAY/IPYTM

180 Degree Longitude Passes Through Us 

Moonlight Chicken

—

The Eclipse 

Our Dining Table

La Pluie

He’s Coming to Me 

What Did You Eat Yesterday? (adding this as a special #8 because it is one of my favorites but may be hard to find)

You’re My Sky

Gameboys

Because this is a similar ask to one I recently got I am going to direct you to that for my explanations on 180 Degrees Longitude Passes Through Us (available on Gagaoolala), I Told Sunset About You and I Promise You The Moon (available on Viki), and Moonlight Chicken (available on YouTube) and add three other shows: What Did You Eat Yesterday?, You’re My Sky, and Gameboys.

If you stick around in this fandom long enough you will start to see that Bad Buddy (available on YouTube) is one of most beloved shows on tumblr. I love love love that show, but it is not in my favorites the way these other shows are. However, I would HIGHLY recommend you watch it if you haven’t already. It is incredible, and a very important piece of BL history both for the level of popularity it gained and the way it subverted BL as a genre. 

That said, let’s get in to my favorite BLs and why I love them, again in alphabetical order: 

Gameboys

(Pinoy BL- Season 1: Available on YouTube or Netflix, Season 2: Available on Gagaoolala in Asia or with a VPN that can make it seem like you are in Asia)

Contains Themes of: Quarantine, COVID, death, queer character being outed against their will

I literally just finished the first season of this show today, but have to thank @bengiyo for telling me this is what I should watch next because I absolutely loved it. It is the story of two boys, stuck in quarantine in the Phillipines during the COVID pandemic that meet over an online game and fall in love. I agree with Ben that this is an incredibly well handled pandemic story, the actors are fantastic, their chemistry is believable and natural, and I appreciate that they let these boys be horny for each other. I loved watching the highs and lows of their blossoming relationship and I am so looking forward to watching Season 2 when they are together in person and seeing if and how that changes their dynamic. 

He’s Coming to Me

(Thai BL- Available on YouTube) 

Contains Themes of: death of a teenager (related to heart problems), murder

I talked about this show in one of my tag games as my pick for most underrated series in Thai QL. Which I stand by because this show did not have the distribution it should have due to fan interference because they were upset about Singto being moved from a match up with Krist to instead star opposite Ohm. 

This is a show that I have labeled as By, For, and About Queer people. This is an Aof Noppharnach piece that is just absolutely beautiful in the way it explores the growing realization about your own queerness as Ohm’s character (Thun) starts to develop feelings for Singto’s character (Med). I love the additional layer to this show that comes with Med being a ghost who can only be seen by Thun, and how we don’t just get an explicitly queer character in an explicitly queer relationship, but that we also get a metaphor for queerness in the fact that Thun has to keep himself and his abilities private. When he hangs out with Med in public, no one can see him, and Thun often ends up talking to air, which results in people constantly staring at him in confusion, concern, or disgust. This show will remind you that Ohm has always been The Actor of All Time, the way his voice creaks in this show still haunts me to this day. I liked the mystery element in this show, I loved the rooftop confessions and the coming out scene. I loved all the ways this show was just so so so queer. Now that it has been released to the general public, I think every person who watches Thai BL should watch this show. 

La Pluie 

(Thai BL- Available on IQIYI) 

Contains Themes of: lying to a romantic partner

God this show is an incredible, brilliant, perfectly executed subversion of the soulmates trope. A theme I am generally sensing in the content I am sharing is that queer characters are allowed to be flawed human beings. Tai needs to learn how to use his words, Patts is perfect but does have a temper that he is managing extremely well, Tien is perfect but does constantly undermine and underplay his own emotions to support the other people in his life, Lomfon is rude. This show has a lot of very smart things to say, and allows its characters to both experience desire, and sexual frustration, it uses giving sexual pleasure as a way for a character to maintain control over new forms of intimacy. Myself and my fellow clowns on this website (especially @bengiyo and @lurkingshan) have fought for this show tooth and nail for weeks upon weeks to make sure that as many people as possible were watching this absolutely beautiful show. 

Our Dining Table

(Japanese BL- Available on Gagaoolala)

Contains Themes of: death, child neglect, grief

This is a very short, very sweet, wonderful spot of comfort and warmth. Its main themes are found family and navigating grief. It has the cutest little boy in the world who is just a bouncing ball of sunshine, and he and this show won my entire heart. I love this show for what it says about family, about care and love, sacrifice and healing. Even for the parts of the show that center around pain, this show is just so full of joy. I loved watching Yutaka open up, loved watching Minoru have a chance to relax, I loved Ueda-san getting to watch his son fall in love to become happier by way of existing around his sons’ happiness. I love that Minoru is very much an older brother to Tane, not a parent, despite how much care he gives him, and I love that Yutaka and Tane are genuinely friends. 

The Eclipse

(Thai BL- Available on YouTube)

Contains Themes of: threats against protestors (including cars rolling in to crowds), suicide, grief, internalized homophobia, homophobia, authoritarianism, emotional manipulation, thoughts of suicide, queer character being outed against their will

This is absolutely one of my favorite BLs, beyond the fact that the acting is incredible, the characters are allowed to be very flawed, very complex, and very morally gray the story itself is incredibly layered and is a huge social commentary on rebelling against authoritarianism, the ways in which identities and oppression are leveraged against marginalized people to get them to commit heinous acts against the people they should be standing with and not against. This show touches on so many different things: justice, hypocrisy, manipulation, love, fear, internalized homophobia, rebellion, activism. This show gave me both my favorite war criminal and his rat bastard boyfriend. It has some of my favorite kisses and favorite crying scenes. And it introduced me to the powerhouse duo of First and Khaotung. 

What Did You Eat Yesterday?

(I am honestly not sure where you can find this easily, outside of @kinounaniresource. there is one season, a special, and a movie. There is a Season 2 on the way, and I am also not sure when it is going to be released or if it is going to be released on any particular platform)

Contains Themes of: internalized homophobia, homophobia, character with history of child abuse

I am honestly not sure if this technically qualifies as a BL, but it is certainly a show that centers around an already established, older gay couple. This is a story about a couple staying together, and there is an undercurrent of long carried pain that is tucked so neatly between the layers of cooking, and eating, and love for one another. I do not really know how to explain this show beyond it just being one of the best things out there. We are so so lacking in elder queer content, honestly this is the only show I have seen out of 60+ QLs I have watched in the last year that has a main queer couple over the age of probably 25. I love the dynamic between Shiro and Kenji so much because who doesn’t love couples comprised of one puppy dog of a man and one man with the energy of a very annoyed cat? 

You’re My Sky

(Thai BL- available on Viki) 

Contains Themes of: betrayal, cheating, sports related injury

This show has some of the most beautiful, saturated coloring of any show I have ever seen, the influence of I Told Sunset About You is incredibly clear (which makes sense because a screenwriter and director on You’re My Sky was a Screenwriter on ITSAY/IPYTM). I am not a huge sports person, but I do love a sports drama, and this one does a stellar job with the way it shoots it’s basketball games. It has Suar, who I was first introduced to as Tien in La Pluie as the main character and he is just SO. GOOD. This dude has been in three shows TOTAL and he just absolutely DEMOLISHES this role, and his role in La Pluie. Seriously, even if you could not give two shits about basketball (as a sport I do not, in this show I care very much) you should watch this show just to see Suar run a masterclass in acting. 

Girl Loves 

Unfortunately, there are not a lot of girl love shows that exist, the only one I have even seen coming out of Asia is GAP the series (a handful more exist, but they either seem to not be popular and/or are hard to access). It is an unfortunate reality that we are still fighting for more WLW content, especially GL content where the romance is the main and central plot. So, I don’t have a strong list to give you, because what does exist is limited and often gets canceled, but I will give you what information I do have:

Carmilla 

GAP the Series 

Carmilla 

(Canada- Available on YouTube)

Contains Themes of: student disappearances, death, undeath 

This is an 8 year old Western webseries based on the book of the same name. I watched this around the time it came out and loved it a lot. There are a couple seasons and a movie, all of it is really really good, and was some of the earliest queer representation I had, including having the first non-binary character I had ever seen on screen (does not mean there weren’t others, this is just the first one that I found). This is a webseries so it takes place almost exclusively in one room. 

GAP the Series

(Thai GL- Available on YouTube) 

Contains Themes of: severe homophobia, suicide, emotional abuse, death of a sibling

GAP was fun, it started out really strong, but it did lose me a little bit at the end. But that is mostly because I am not the biggest fan of boss and employee stories where an equal power balance is not established. I think it s a really solid attempt at kickstarting GL into an industry rather than just an occasional one off. This is required viewing in my opinion because of how it was funded, and because it has some of the highest view rates out there for queer Thai shows, and really helped prove that GLs were stories that people really really wanted to see (read: production companies started to realize they could make a lot of money). 

I can offer you a suggestion from other people: 

She Loves to Cook, She Loves to Eat 

(Japanese GL- I have not seen this yet and I am not sure where you can find this show. But I do know that everyone who has seen it loves it, and I plan to watch it soon. A Season 2 was announced recently but is not out yet)

Non GL shows that either have a lesbian or bisexual character and/or have a GL pairing as a side plot: 

Bad Buddy (the second couple, but still has limited screen time)

Secret Crush on You (very minor couple, but has been in a relationship from the beginning)

La Pluie (A very small part of the story)

Lovely Writer (I have not seen this show, I do not know exactly what the plot is, or what purpose this character serves, but I know there is a bisexual character named Tiffy, who won the BL Bisexual Swag 

The Warp Effect (one of the shows with a pretty strong lesbian couple)

Gameboys and Pearl Next Door

A book I really love with a WLW couple in it and a gay character is The Priory of the Orange Tree

GMMTV has started filming their first GL, which we hope will air late this year (or maybe early next year), it’s called 23.5 Degrees and I am very much looking forward to it!

Queer Shows 

I’ll give you some bonus suggestions that are very queer shows, but aren’t defined as BL or GL

The Warp Effect

Gay OK Bangkok

3 Will Be Free

The Owl House 

Deadend Paranormal Park 

The Warp Effect

(Thai- available on YouTube) 

Contains Themes of: abortion, sexual assault, physical assault, internalized homophobia, transphobia, religious trauma, bodyshaming, slut shaming, kink shaming, workplace sexual harassment, homophobia

If it is queer and from Thailand and I love it, odds are extremely high that Jojo Tichakorn wrote and directed it. Despite some very heavy themes this was a very very fun watch, it is one of the most kink positive, sex positive, and queer shows that I have seen. I have a friend who is a sex educator and I want them to watch this show for it’s public speech announcements about getting HPV vaccines and how pelvic exams work. This is not a show I can explain super well, but it is one that I highly recommend, and if you are planning on watching Only Friends, then it is something I consider a required viewing. 

Gay OK Bangkok 

(Thai- available on YouTube)

Contains Themes of: cheating, HIV

This is a very real look at the existence of gay men in Bangkok, I love it so much. This is a pair up between Jojo and Aof, two of my favorite directors. It is not a feel good show, it is an honest one. I think everyone should watch it. 

3 Will Be Free

(Thai- available on YouTube)

Contains Themes of: cheating, manslaughter, murder, murder of a spouse, kidnapping, domestic abuse, sexual assault, strangulation, transphobia, death, gun violence

Once again, a Jojo show, and once again, despite the list of themes within the show, a very fun watch. This is one of, if not the only GMMTV show with a throuple, and is honestly very hilarious by way of three idiots on the run from the mafia, accidentally through mostly shit dumb luck and the fact that everyone is stupid, taking down a criminal empire. 

The Owl House 

(United States- available on Disney+, season 3 available on YouTube) 

Contains Themes of: white supremacy, child abuse, child neglect, heavy trauma, mind and body control, death, possible world destruction

This is an animated show that I love dearly and one I find incredibly important for the next generation of queer people to see. The main character is neurodivergent, she is bisexual and gets a girlfriend, there is a non-binary side character, and there is also just a lot of casual queer representation. This show has a lot to say, and says it well, it is adorable and heartbreaking and everything in between and the fact that it got canceled is honestly a tragedy. 

Dead End: Paranormal Park

(United States- available on Netflix) 

Contains Themes of: possession, murder, death, undeath, paranormal activity, religious infighting, amnesia, animal death, kidnapping, child death, implied transphobia

This is also an animated show that I love dearly and one I find incredibly important for the next generation of queer people to see. The main character is trans, the other main character is neurodivergent and bisexual, there is a lot of casual queer representation. Like The Owl House this show has a lot to say, and says it well, it is adorable and heartbreaking and everything in between and the fact that it got canceled is also a tragedy. 

[I realize for The Owl House and Deadend Paranormal Park that my descriptions are very similar, but I cannot stress enough that these two shows have very different premises and tell very different stories. They are just animated shows that are able to contain a lot more queer representation that the stories that came before them, because of the stories that came before them] 

[olderthannetfic]

Can I get a source or exact quote on what the author (Casey McQuiston) of Red, White, and Royal Blue said about eastern BL? Was it a tweet? I can’t find anything.

--

It's the author of Heartstopper who was a clown about Asian BL.

McQuiston's tweet that annoyed me was about debunking rumors about their book. I think their twitter is gone now, but people are welcome to go looking for the exact quote if they care. It was relatively subtle, but it's something I have a zero tolerance policy on.

They were talking about how it's New Adult rather than YA (which is fair, but also, fuck New Adult). In the process, they whined that they aren't a writer of "m/m romance" but a ~queer author of queer romance~ or some such thing. They were legitimately debunking some misunderstandings about how RW&RB was marketed, the fact that it wasn't fic, etc., but they basically called authors in the m/m romance sector not queer in the process, which just proves they know fucking nothing about who else is out there writing. Unclear whether they're just a jackass in general or whether they merely turn their nose up at the indiepub sector.

Either way, I have zero patience for little assholes who don't respect their fellow creators and fans of BL-ish stuff, both when they act like their own work is the first to ever exist and especially when they act like their writing is ownvoices and other people's is not.

Newsflash: literally nobody is going to take any of us seriously unless we're cis men, and that's why we should stick together instead of being cunty at each other.

The real reason a lot of other ~queer authors~ don't dabble in both f/f and m/m is that they need to make rent and m/m sells like ten times better. Anyone who sneers at their fellow authors of fandom-sounding m/m without grasping this is neither a professional nor a decent person.

[justabackroundcharacter]

Thoughts while watching Wish:

- base princess personality trope

- Never getting over the face that the goat is named Valentino

- 7 dwarfs vibes with the friends

- Hans type character

- Weird ass love song to wishes

- Evil Chris Pratt went from 1-100 really fast

- The wife was 1000000% the kings wish and he used magic to get it

- Angry guy is played by GIZMO MY BELOVED

- 100 year old man move like a 60 year old fr

- Asha also goes from 50-100 real fast

- My favorite song was a little disappointing:(

- What she’s singing and what the animation gives dosent match

- Wifey is CLUELESS

- We could’ve had A STAR BOY INSTEAD WE GET THIS THING

- Star is still cute

- When you are a Star and accidentally make a devils trap in the tree lol

- IM A STAR ⭐️

- thanks for not eating me John

- Throwing books like your cramming for a test

- King is bipolar like actually tho

- EVERYTHING IS FINE

- What are you five ?

- DANCING CHICKENS

- Best friends help each other commit crimes against the kingdom

- King really is evil he made everyone go to an assembly and they aren’t even in school

- WAIT WAS KING SUPPOSED TO BE AN ALIEN

- how old is the king ? Do we know at all ?

- Casually dooms yourself to an eternity of pain because you got insecure

- HE HAS A SECRET LAIR LIKE HAWKMOTH

- ok how do wishes work again ? Was gramps not free to still inspire people

- Not the mom pleading for her daughter to only get her wish trampled on (definitely don’t need to look at how accurate that is)

- Star said SQUARE TF UP

- He’s literally just your king hit him with your bookshelf

- Returns to your stable if anyone asks pLaY dUmB

- when you have to speed run the 5 stages of grief bc you are the main character damnit

- I know what your thinking- WELL I DONT girl that star doesn’t have an expression on his face

- I can not swim *proceeds to jump into the water with reckless abandon *

- You’ve been hit by, you’ve been stuck by LOSS OF YOUR WISH

- ‘AMYIA darling your just in time come meet my new TOY’ why would you WRITE IT LIKE THAT

- Hot take anyone who calls their partner darling is on THIN FUCKING ICE

- King man went insane that is fun

- HANS KNOCK OFF BETRAYED THEM I FUCKING KNEW IT

- Dont worry im a talking mouse but very clean

- When you only want to be a loyal knight but you end up betraying your friends- happens to the best of us dude

- Good find Valentino - my butt found it

- introverts deserve sanctuary— louder for the people in the back

- STRIKE, STRIKE newsies vibes

- YES fulfill your Sabos wish

- doc and dopey slayed

- They all did

- They are like any queer friend group fr

- the chase scene is cool

- YAZ QUEEN GET YOUR HUSBAND

- I was fooled by the love I felt- Its ok queen you were definitely manipulated not your fault

- Don’t destroy never land you bastard

- A stick ? What am I supposed to do with this ?

- The MUSHROOMS 🍄

- Poor gizmo can’t catch a break no matter what universe he’s in

- a dress on a tree more likely than you think

- Dude bro dear got into the mushrooms fr

- Sometimes a plan is just you and your six friends jumping from a high place

- FUCKING HANS GOT ME AGAIN

- thanks John

- Your so right bunnies are terrifying

- Nope nope nope nope nope

- StAr GeT aWaY fRoM tHeRe

- WAIT IS HE MAGIC MIRRIR GUY

- Yay singing again

- THE power of collective singing will always save the day

- GREEN SMOKE

- MyWiShEs dude get a grip

- Simon and queen should be besties now

- LONG LIVE THE QUEEN

- Peter Pan origin story 👀👀

- ZOOTOPIA ?!?

- bippty boppty boo the magic wand is fixed

- Give GIZMO THE WAND 😭he deserves it

- Fireworks yay

- 5/10 movie

[whilereadingandwalking]

Manhunt is beautiful, raw, and cruel, finally a speculative fiction novel that treats chromosome-based biological catastrophe in a way that's actually compelling. Gretchen Felker-Martin's writing is excellent and awful in its excellence, because this book is terrifying, visceral, and violent. In it, a disease (dubbed "t.rex") transforms people with the right amount of testosterone (primarily cis men) into rabid, murderous, sex-crazed zombies. Gangs of TERFs, cis women tattooed with XX, police gender and seek out and murder any person who they decide is 'secretly a man' or a gender traitor. Meanwhile, a few queer people try to survive in an apocalyptic world, hunted by everyone. It's been a minute since a book made me cry, but this one did, more than once. Felker-Martin's characters are compelling: crossbow-welding Beth, always-longing Fern, fat doctor Indi who refines their estrogen, and Robbie, a trans man who joins their squad to try and find safety. It's an excellent book about zombies and the power dynamics in apocalyptic worlds in general—but more than that, it's a horror story about the arguments that TERFs and other transphobes use to insist that there are "real women," on the violence of that point of view, of the endless damage of turning on our most vulnerable while there is a (in this case, extremely literal) seething crowd of patriarchy that we'd be better off fighting together. It goes hard, poking at the kind of women or queer people who still think there's a way to blend, to survive within the TERFs' world, instead of resisting against it. Manhunt is bold, and it is at turns grotesque, funny, extremely sexy, graphic, horrifying, and devastating. Warning: I think anyone who does not want to encounter scenes of graphic rape or violence should stay far away from this book, and it is questionable whether the rape scene was gratuitous. I don't think it needed to have not happened, but I question how graphic that scene needed to be. It's possible that within the zombie-apocalypse genre of blood and gore and guts, Felker-Martin felt that scene should also be 'honest' to the violence of what's happening. But I thought it was excessive. Other complaints: the timeline of the narrative got pretty intensely mixed up several times, which was confusing. The logistics were often suspect. (I'm not mad at "coincidences"—one character shows up in the nick of time, etc—for me those are a classic part of the zombie apocalypse genre so they didn't bother me. I'm referring to like, timelines, distances, that kind of thing.) One of the main characters is a TERF. Some people think she has a redemption arc. I personally don't think it is one. She is not exactly forgiven at the end. I think she's there more to reveal the rot at the very core of the TERFs' own ideologies. This idea that none of them truly believe what they spew, most of them just want the power the divisions would give them, want others not to have what they've been told is theirs to have. I think it was effective, but I'm willing to debate it. All around, I really enjoyed this book, but the parts I didn't like really stick in the seams. I wouldn't recommend this one to everybody, but I do hope we get more fiction that does as good of a job talking about TERFs and why their rhetoric is so dangerous for people of all genders. Content warnings: Extreme: body horror & violence, transphobia, rape (graphic) Also: suicide, gender dysphoria, deadnaming, fatphobia, anti-Semitism, self-harm.

[meadowlarkx]

Explore my bookshelf!

Tagged by @searchingforserendipity25 @jouissants and @swanmaids! Thank you so much 💕💕

An estimate of how many physical books I own: I really have no idea especially because they're not all in one place right now. Maybe 200-300? Hmm. A lot (to me)

Favorite author: Tolkien right now? Ursula Le Guin? I really like Sarah Waters and as a wee lass I really adored Patrick Rothfuss. Umm. I realize I usually tend to pick stuff to read from individual authors based on their premise instead of going through an author's repertoire. Sorry, authors. But it's genuinely hard for me to pick a favorite since they all strike different notes! Fandom writers I've known past and present also loom large here for me.

A popular book I've never read and never intend to read: Hmm maybe The Locked Tomb? The vibes just seem too ironic for me. But I might still read it sometime, it just hasn't grabbed me yet. Probably also Discworld. Sorry to everyone.

A popular book I thought was just meh: The Song of Achilles... Whoops. Anyway, I found some aspects of the writing style lovely, but as a story and a retelling it majorly fell flat for me.

Longest book I own: Les Misérables probably, or one of the big compiled editions of Shakespeare or Austen

Longest series I own all the books to: Hmm, I think A Song of Ice and Fire from my fan days in high school—but kinda by accident (I'd already read the last books on ebook when I was gifted them). Still surprises me to think I do actually own all of those tomes in hard copy

Prettiest book I own: Mariana and the Merchild... yes it's a children's picture book. And you've almost certainly heard me bring it up sometime. Lesbian-coded child-rearing of my heart. Look at the pictures!

A book or series I wish more people knew about: As Meat Loves Salt by Maria McCann—imagine a fictional microhistory that's also a darkly painted yet tender and gripping gay romance that's also about utopian experiments and the English Civil War. When Fox is a Thousand by Larissa Lai—this book is a dream, a messy and confusing dream, but I recommend it to everyone ever! Chinese folklore and mythology, queer and sapphic-ness, through time and space from ancient China to modern-day immigrant communities in Canada—so touching and really beautiful. Many moments from this one still stick in my brain.

Series: The Bartimaeus Trilogy by Jonathan Stroud—OK, it's been a while since I read this in full, and I just said I don't always like irony and these books are crammed full of silly little jokes and targeted towards a younger audience, BUT just thinking about them makes me tear up with emotion. Ages-old wry shapeshifting djinni, snotty-kid-becomes-politician, and hardened girl from the underclass navigate an alternate magical-spirits-powered British imperialism. It's queer and incisive TO ME.

Nonfiction: A Biography of No Place by Kate Brown, about borderland villages in Soviet Ukraine and the drastic changes in structures/social organization and identities that occurred from 1920-1950. Poorly said but I just think the perspective this book takes is unique and insightful and empathic and everyone should read it.

Book I'm reading now: The Bandit Queens and Lays of Beleriand. In theory I'm reading them hell yeahhh

Book that's been on my TBR list for a while but I still haven't got around to it: Invisible Cities by Italo Calvino and The Goblin Emperor by Katherine Addison. I checked both of these out to read over the summer and renewed them like 3 times and did I read them... no I did not. Also a bunch more are on the TBR but you know how it is

Do you have any books in a language other than English: La Reine Margot in French is the one I tried seriously to read in recent times, but I have some others in French and Spanish, mostly from high school. 1 in Czech (a copy of With Fire and Sword I have from @sparklingdali for the pictures ❤️). Polish With Fire and Sword & The Deluge pdfs & a couple of physical books ambitiously in Polish, emphasis on the ambition part.

Paperback, hardcover, or ebook? Ideally I check out whatever version the library has. I prefer physical copies and I guess paperbacks, but I'll do ebooks if I have to! At this point I try to only actually buy (hopefully secondhand) books I think I'm really going to want to keep, because I already have too many to move with

Tagging @themelodyofsilence @nibi-nix @tuulikki @sparklingdali @bachaboska if you'd like to do this, and anyone else who hasn't done it yet!

[lapsed-lys]

May 1st 2024

Entry #033

Helplines

I've passed the last week texting and calling Catholic helplines (I can't see a priest in person or attend church) about a friendship dilemma I've had:

Should I leave my Catholic friend, since she worries about encouraging my Catholic sin of being trans, or should I stick with her as we're both queer and want to follow God?

(TW: Catholic guilt, detransitioning, transitioning, queerphobia, intersexism, cynicism faced to hypocrisy.)

Given my current circumstances (not being able to seek a priest irl), I tried to seek priests and Catholics online. I wanted to get as many perspectives. What would anyone do in my shoes: leave the friend to let them walk with God as they need, or stay with them and continue cherishing our precious (and mutual) friendship?

People focused all on my genitalia and repentance.

Priests online didn't want to adress the friendship issue, because I "can't make a choice in my state of confusion". Catholics called me all kinds of slurs or took pity on my situation, instead of adressing what I really sought advice on: the friendship. And worst of all: when I spoke about my friend and I, they kept asking and asking about our genitalia and talking about us as "females".

When I called Catholic helplines, I was very tired and being on the brink of snapping from coming up with creative sentences to take the focus away from genitalias. So, to avoid anymore of that, I changed the layout of my situation, speaking of my inner situation as the two friends in question. I went in there with my birthname and claiming to be a woman to speak about me and my transidentity like the other friend.

At first, it went... unexpectedly well. The volunteer was very calm, explaining that if my friendship is so important than it's worth staying friends, despite the "differences". That, if I'm uncomfortable, I can back out, but that as I seem to speak now that I should stay with them and use the experience to strengthen my faith. And so, the volunteer asked my name, supposedly to close the call...

"O-Oh, you're a... You're a woman?"

And it all derailed there. No lore friendship talk, no more faith talk. Just assuming about my sexuality and experience with gender, assuming I was denying a love for my girl friend (a trans man) and SSA (same-sex attraction). Spreading bigotry on trans people, quoting outdated terms and research, giving me references to priests who wrote books about the "teen mutilation" (transitionners, no mention of intersex people's mutilation somehow 🙄) and "gender ideology"...

I confessed that I've been wondering if there wasn't some reading between-the-lines in the Bible considering that I'm a "cis woman who passed as a guy" and that I've been meeting many intersex people. Again, no engagement, just more "God made male and female!"

I know this is to be expected, but after a month of constantly seeking help and being exposed to so much nonsensical anti-trans media... I just stood there, thinking:

"That's just hypocritical."

[camp-counselor-life]

As a person who works with youth, how do you talk about sexuality (specifically realizing one's sexuality) with children in a way that is age appropriate? Could you maybe go through conversation guidelines for the different age groups?

Hi friend,

So, I will preface this with a caveat: you need to always follow your organization's policies, whatever they are. In theory, they are developed with your group of campers in mind, their demographics, the area's overall makeup. It sucks when they're restrictive, but it's better to follow them when doing things proactively (reactive is different). Here are my suggestions.

General do's and don't:

Don't talk about sex. You wouldn't talk about heterosexual sex at camp, so don't talk about queer sex either.

Do reassure campers.

Don't try to correct outdated language with younger kids, unless they are unsure of what to call themselves.

Do follow organizational policies.

Don't feel pressured to do it on your own. Use picture books, videos, and other media. Preview them before use.

Do use language that the campers are using and are familiar with.

Based on your question, let's say that a camper comes out to you as questioning or some flavor of queer. This conversation should be semi-private, keeping within youth protection of being within eyesight of another adult, but preferably having another adult in the conversation. Here's a basic outline:

"Thank you for telling me. That took courage."

Ask them if they want to talk about it. If they don't, just reinforce that they did a brave thing.

If they do want to talk, just listen. Nod, repeat phrases back to them using active listening, but ultimately let them steer the conversation.

Reassure them that they are valid, cared about, and safe at camp. Do not make promises that you can't keep about being safe elsewhere.

If they ask you questions, answer within your camp's guidelines. Like, if your camp says that you can't share your sexuality, I'd recommend following that. It's ok to not have all of the answers. If sharing about you, try to keep it minimal and focus on them instead.

At the end of the conversation, thank them again.

Throughout the remainder of the session, regularly check in with this camper, which you should do with all campers anyway. Doesn't have to be anything about sexuality, just a "how's it going?" on a regular basis.

With younger kids, you may need to phrase some things differently. Like with a teen, they might talk about dating, but with a younger child they might talk more about "liking" somebody. It's important to mirror the language they are using. If a teenager is talking like they are 10, use that language as that's what they know.

That's probably my biggest advice, using the language the camper is using. It this camper using queer instead of bi? Is this camper calling themselves gay instead of a lesbian? Is this camper using a microlabel you are unfamiliar with? Use reflective language, using terms they know and are familiar with.

Then I would suggest sticking with letting campers take the lead - answer their questions honestly and in a way that you would answer questions about heterosexual relationships and families at that age. You're not going to explain sex to anyone at camp. But it's ok to say something along the lines of, there are many different ways to love others, like friends or getting married, it's important to respect each other and yourself and be true to who you are. With teens you can use similar things with slightly more mature terms and more focus on dating, like a healthy relationship is more important than a straight one.

Please tread carefully given our current political climate with this. Don't put yourself or your camp in the position that you could be in danger of any kind.

I hope you find this helpful. Have a great summer!

[azure-clockwork]

Late Night Book Reviews with Bluejay — the Night and its Moon

Time: 1:43 pm

Regret: low. I was able to put this book down and finish it during the daytime

Summary: I’m honestly not sure why people like this. I’m not sold on the prose nor on the world building nor on the characters nor on the plot. If you’re one of the people who likes this novel, I’m glad you enjoyed it, but I really don’t understand why. Perhaps it will inspire me to create some stuff of my own.

Full thoughts:

I’m really sorry; I don’t want to be critical of this book, especially since I know people like it. I hope this doesn’t come off too mean spirited.

In theory I should have loved this thing. Two orphans, Nox and Amaris, experience trauma and then get shipped off to learn about their magic powers and become badass. Also, they’re gay for each other. Fantasy, magic, queer female leads, hell yeah!

The only problem was that it lowkey sucked.

One of my biggest problems with this book is its prose. It’s overly wordy, does not flow very well, and frequently is either redundant or confusing. The book will frequently spend two paragraphs hammering in a point that could be told in a sentence and then jump to another action so abruptly I keep thinking I’ve missed a detail. I was often left wondering where hands or weapons or people were located because it just wasn’t mentioned that character X picked up Y and then the next paragraph begins “Using the Y in her right hand, X began to…”.

I was also frequently bothered by the word choice. Most of the sex scenes have lines like “his stick of serotonin and dopamine entered her” and I gotta say, please just say “dick”. Please. Stop listing neurotransmitters. This is fantasy and also the bedroom. Why do these characters know what oxytocin is and why are they bringing it up now. I’m not kidding when I say that multiple sex scenes used specific neurotransmitter names. It doesn’t sound fancy, it just sounds strange. Also, ‘guise’ doesn’t mean that at all. Please get an editor.

I think a lot of other people have talked about how Nox being written as one of the only dark skinned characters and also being a succubus who kills/puppets men around after fucking then is A Choice, and I gotta say, I liked young Nox’s POV a lot, but once the book gets to the succubus section of her life I just fell off. It feels like the book is trying to be very ‘girl power’ and ‘look at this woman weaponizing her sexuality’ and it all falls very flat for me. “She’s so hot and can manipulate any man” ok please tell me something interesting. In general, I felt like both main characters were a bit like this, with Amaris being so badass and good with a sword and having powers and clearly being somewhat of a chosen one, but tbh, I have a lot more tolerance for montages about how Amaris knows lots of demon facts cuz she studies hard than I do for poorly written seduction.

One thing I really crave from stories like this, especially if I don’t love the characters, is a cool magic system. I’m a sucker for hard magic, but I also love soft, emotional magic that erupts at a dramatic moment. And I think that would work much better here in the story. Instead, this book delivers a magic system that I really can’t tell you about because it’s not really fleshed out, and what is told doesn’t seem to gel neatly into a single Thing. I feel like the magic (and more broadly, the world building in general) is just cobbled together from the leftovers of a few different other fantasy stories. Do people hate the fae or not? Is magic taboo or not? What gifts are possible? What the hell are demons? I’m really not sure. And more broadly, the map feels very empty and like it was concocted from tropes and not much else.

I just want this thing to be good. I really do. And it’s just. Not. I was at turns bored and annoyed by it and I still don’t get what I was supposed to love. I would honestly rather reread ACoTaR.

[wildcards1407]

Travel Documents 129: Bang Bang Bodhisattva

by Aubrey Wood

Genre:  sci-fi, near-future, cyberpunk, bio-punk

Publication Date: May 9 Pre-Order At This Link

The Dust Cover Copy

Someone wants trans girl hacker-for-hire Kiera Umehara in prison or dead—but for what? Failing to fix their smart toilet?

It’s 2032 and we live in the worst cyberpunk future. Kiera is gigging her ass off to keep the lights on, but her polycule’s social score is so dismal they’re about to lose their crib. That’s why she's out here chasing cheaters with Angel Herrera, a luddite P.I. who thinks this is The Big Sleep. Then the latest job cuts too deep—hired to locate Herrera’s ex-best friend (who’s also Kiera’s pro bono attorney), they find him murdered instead. Their only lead: a stick of Nag Champa incense dropped at the scene.

Next thing Kiera knows, her new crush turns up missing—sans a hand (the real one, not the cybernetic), and there’s the familiar stink of sandalwood across the apartment. Two crimes, two sticks of incense, Kiera framed for both. She told Herrera to lose her number, but now the old man might be her only way out of this bullshit...

A fast-talker with a heart of gold, Bang Bang Bodhisattva is both an odd-couple buddy comedy that never knows when to shut up, and an exploration of finding yourself and your people in an ever-mutable world.

Quick heads up: this book is in pre-release, so this is a spoiler-free review. There’s more depth I’d love to dig into, but I’m hands-off until more folks have read it!

The Scene

Worldbuilding

Hooooo BOY. Buckle up. Here we go.

A high-octane story in the cultural tradition of Snow Crash, Minority Report and Blade Runner, Bang Bang gives folks in the queer community what they’ve been waiting for: a look at the cyberpunk world through their eyes.

In worldbuilding, Wood has taken cues from all your favorite wouldn’t-live-there-if-you-paid-me futures: the tech that argues with you has shades of The Fifth Element, the use of bionics and implants is reminiscent of Repo Man. And the harsh reality of gigging for a living and running on ice? Well that, we’re living right now. Mixed together, they make for a world I really enjoyed reading, but definitely don’t want to visit.

The Crowd

Characterization

Wisecracking, fast-moving Kiera is the POV character we’ve been waiting for. She’s clever, quick-tongued, a little bit of a spaz and an absolute sweetheart. She’s the type of quick-thinking trans girl who’ll yell ‘I got a dick!’ when a skeez wolf-whistles, just to watch him walk into a wall. She’s thirty years old, sick of the grind, and sweet-natured under the armor her world impels her to wear. Her foil is Angel Hererra. No wait, sorry, he changed that name, and that face, to get the world to give him a bit less of a hard time. It sort of worked…sort of. But it cut him off from part of himself too. And that’s never a good thing. On their side are a clever assortment of allies: the android studying law, the classy dame with all the threads to the underworld in her hand, and the indentured servant who really just wanted a better life. Underpinning the story is the sweet support of Kiera’s polycule, waiting at home with snuggles and bingeable TV. Cueing up the ominous music for this piece are Detective Flynn, who gives new meaning to being a dick, and several other impressive baddies. The characters, even those who aren’t fleshed out, are well-written and interesting. The ones who get more time on the page are rounded into wonderfully whole people. Most of them don’t fit society’s definition of ‘people’ for some reason. And with every move, they prove why they should.

Writing Style

Fast paced and sometimes brutal, this work is full of bright one-liners and witty zings. Like it says on the dust cover, it definitely has echoes of The Big Sleep going on, along with Snow Crash and similar zany takes on a dark future. But the author pulls on this setting like a favorite coat and wears it with style, making it fresh. I particularly enjoyed the showcasing of authority using legalism as a weapon against people who don’t fit: it’s a nasty part of the LGBT and minority experience that needs to be addressed. But I enjoyed watching our characters find their way around it even more!

The Moves

Plot

I’ll say this up front: I was not expecting these twists and turns. And I bet you won’t see what’s coming either, not until it’s right on top of you! Or, in most cases, right on top of Kiera. Poor kid.

(cue Kiera shouting ‘I’m thirty, dammit!’ in the background) In the classic neo-noir style, you have your crime, you have your slueth, and you have your unknown criminal. But the twists and turns that take us from ‘oh crap a dead body’ to the last page are nothing like you expect, and everything you want to read.

Overall Rating

A high-octane race through Cyberpunk City, with pit stops for queer love and solidarity.

[mashithamel]

In high school I had to read “Ragtime” by E.L. Doctorow (and then write a comparison paper with another American novel—that I got an ‘A’ for somehow managing to find something to compare and contrast between this contemporary-style historial fiction book and the gothic ghost story “Turn of the Screw” should tell you that back in high school I was really good at writing a lot of BS).

The book itself was pretty good—really interesting, a mix of real historical figures and some archetypes (literally called ‘Mother,’ ‘Little Boy,’ etc) about the turn of the century, and racism, unions, immigration, women’s sufferage, and peaceful versus violent protests.

It also has…some really questionable moments (I’m looking you, Younger Brother, with your “ticket tape parade” ejeaculation while watching anarchist Emma Goldman give disgraced socialite Evelyn Nesbitt a sensual massage—that’s an image I’m never getting out of my brain, and now you all can share it with me).

There is a “Ragtime” movie, with the only good thing being Mandy Patinkin playing Tata. The movie really leaned into the sensational, silly parts of the book (there is a scene where Evelyn is topless for no reason other than they wanted an ‘R’ rating, I’m guessing?). They left out so many of the more interesting plolines, like Mother becoming independent.

And then they made a musical, and this was perfection. They took all the good parts of the novel, cut out the stupid bits that really didn’t add anything, changed a few things to keep the story going, and told essentially told the same story with amazing music, only better. They kept the focus on the theme “change is hard and can be scary,” without looking for sensationalizing moments. I really think theaters all over the US should have been playing it in 2016 because it is just so timely, and really hits on so many contemporary topics.

So, what does this have to do with the reason for this Tumblr account, The Wheel of Time? Book fans, I think, are generally in agreement that while the books are awesome, they can be problematic at times (so much spanking, a lot of male-gazy romance plotlines, domestic violence and male rape treated largely with humor, among some of the big things).

The show has a chance to change some of this (and they have already, by addressing the excessive puritanical virginity of many of the main characters [I can’t buy that Min was a virigin!], not having Nynaeve hit everyone with a stick, no one has even mentioned the word ‘breast’ so far, and so on), and update some of the problematic bits to make the story better (I have high hopes for Perrin/Faile to be less dysfunctional). Queer representation is much more explicit, and actors of color are killing it in roles that were viewed by white readers as white.

There are things I miss—Lan training the boys in weapon fighting, the Perrin/Egwene rescue from the Whitecloaks, Mat going to Fal Dara, the name a few. Some of those missing things are important, and I’m hoping later seasons will do them justice. But I think the key thing is to realize it could have been just awful, like the “Ragtime” movie. Anyone ever see “When the Dark Comes Rising”? That was such a disappointing adaptation. Or the recent “A Wrinkle in Time”? Ugh. I love the Harry Potter movies, but there are so many changes from the books, in some places feeling like a really different story.

Instead, we have amazing costumes, detailed sets, great actors, and so many delightful Easter eggs for the book fans that are bringing this epic to life. The team seems to really love the source and to respect it at every opportunity. For every change I don’t love, there are so many other things I adore. I think the fans are the winners here. (Except when it comes to merchandizing—how is Amazon not all over this??)

TL;DR: Book great, show a little different but also great, and I’m dying for Season 2.

[waitingforwinterwinds]

A Clash of Kings - 01 ARYA I (pages 27-33)

Arya begins her journey north with Yoren and his Night's Watch 'recruits' while trying to deal with the emotional fallout of her father's murder.

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She wished the Rush would rise up and wash the whole city away, Flea Bottom and the Red Keep and the Great Sept and everything, and everyone too, especially Prince Joffrey and his mother. But she knew it wouldn't, and anyhow Sansa was still in the city and would wash away too. When she remembered that, Arya wished for Winterfell instead.

Awwww. Sisterly forgiveness and affection is not "I'm sorry" and "I forgive you" it's "You aren't included in the intended victims of my plot or on the hit list I gave to God for his divine smiting."

They took five wagons out of King's Landing, laden with supplies for the Wall; hides and bolts of cloth, bars of pig iron, a cage of ravens, books and papers and ink, a bale of sourleaf, jars of oil, and chests of medicine and spices. Teams of plow horses pulled the wagons, and Yoren had bought two coursers and a half-dozen donkeys for the boys.

Again, this is one of my favourite details about GRRM's works, the details. I have read so many books that would have left it at "-laden with supplies for the Wall." IF they'd bothered to mention supply wagons at all. ehehe, spell of summon supply wagon. Can only be used at your destination.

Arya hated them making fun of Needle. "It's castle-forged steel, you stupid," she snapped, turning in the saddle to glare at them, "and you'd better shut your mouth." ... "He probably stole it." "I did not!" she shouted. Jon Snow had given her Needle. Maybe she had to let them call her Lumpyhead, but she wasn't going to let them call Jon a thief. ... Yes, I do, Arya could have said. I killed a boy, a fat boy like you, I stabbed him in the belly and he died, and I'll kill you too if you don't let me alone. Only she did not dare. Yoren didn't know about the stableboy, but she was afraid of what he might do if he found out.

Ah, there's the tricky bit. Arya has always been the kind of girl who speaks her mind, whether it's appropriate or not. She's doing well to keep her tongue and keep to herself, for the most part, despite the boys being Grade A asshats, but she does still have her lines that she can't quite keep from snapping. Like insults to Jon.

Arya slid her practice sword from her belt. "You can have this one," she told Hot Pie, not wanting to fight. "That's just some stick." He rode nearer and tried to reach over for Needle's Hilt. Arya made the stick whistle as she laid the wood across his donkey's hindquarters. The animal hawed and bucked, dumping Hot Pie on the ground.

Yes! Good attempt at de-escalating, solid negotiation attempt, and an excellent improvisation when it failed. Good, quick thinking and action!

Holy- that escalated very quickly, and violently! Hot Pie really should have just stayed down. Pride be damned.

Oh! Yoren with the stick. Ouch, ouch, ouch. I know this is the kind of world that still thinks that's an appropriate punishment, and he can't show Arya much of any favour or risk her cover, but damn. And yes, okay, she just brutally, and literally, beat the shit out of Hot Pie, but damn.

Calm as still water, she told herself, the way Syrio Forel had taught her. "Some." He spat. "The pie boy's hurting worse. It wasn't him as killed your father, girl, nor that thieving Lommy neither. Hitting them won't bring him back." "I know," Arya muttered sullenly. "Here's something you don't know. It wasn't supposed to happen like it did. I was set to leave, wagons bought and loaded, and a man comes with a boy for me, and a purse of coin, and a message, never mind who it's from. Lord Eddard's to take the black, he says to me, wait, he'll be going with you. Why d'you think I was there? Only something went queer." "Joffrey," Arya breathed. "Someone should kill him!" "Someone will, but it won't be me, nor you neither."

Still mad at Yoren for flogging her thighs, but he knows what's up. Decent talk down... mind you given this series, that actually a pretty high compliment.

Also happy to see Syrio mentioned. Too many series forget the dead mentor as soon as the body is off screen, and dredge it up when they need a quick 'hey remember your angsty backstory' moment. I like that what she's remembering is basically a meditation and calming technique. The show freaking robbed us. It was all swish-swish-stab, and none of the quieter things.

It did give us the 'what do we say to the god of death' meme, but that's just a variant on "Today is a Good Day To Die" "Yeah, but tomorrow's an even better one"/"A good day for you to die."

When Arya squinted the right way she could see a sword too, only it wasn't a new sword, it was Ice, her father's greatsword, all ripply Valyrian steel, and the red was Lord Eddard's blood on the blade after Ser Ilyn the King's Justice had cut off his head. Yoren had made her look away when it happened, yet it seemed to her that the comet looked like Ice must have, after.

Valyrian steel = 🥛