#i should just steal these two for myself lmao

[snoozel]

mida+muja redeisgns 💌

[sanguineterrain]

your most recent jason fic has me in a bit of a chokehold and its bc you do so well with the dialogue and the banter!!

HONEYLOVE???#?*×& i need to be physically restrained (i appreciate your fics respectfully)

anyways, the fic has me thinking: imagine it's the same reader, but they know Jason's alive and they're back to being friends again (skipping over the drama of "YOU'RE ALIVE?!?" "yea lmao sorry ily tho") but there's this tension now. and since Jason's not working with a mask anymore (and he's slightly more vulnerable with r), it's him who gets flustered and it's r who does the flirting playful banter. maybe it ends with a kiss (˘ ³˘) ?

i'm such a sucker for a flustered Jason and there's something that tells me he gets really weak in the knees for someone he adores >:) anyways, you can always choose to write this or not but a very big, fat thank you if you do

the reaction pics are SO FUNNY i'm glad you enjoy this au <3

jason todd x gn!nocturne!reader. pt 3 of vigilante reader. this is basically reader just being feral over jason :> they speak for all of us, really. love confessions, tension, somewhat flustered jason, more sparring lols.

pt 1 / pt 2

****

Jason Todd is alive. Jason Todd is sitting two feet away, talking about a case.

You can't quite believe it. You went home two days ago and expected to wake up to the whole thing being a dream or the result of a Poison Ivy hallucinogen.

You can't stop staring at him. It's weird. You're being weird. But you can't help it.

Every time you see Jason, you want to look at him for as long as possible. You don't want to forget his face. This new face. Scarred and hardened, but still good. Still loved.

And, well. It's not like Jason's bad looking. Sure, you thought he was cute when you were teenagers. Resurrection makes the heart grow fonder, et cetera.

But now? Now, Jason makes your heart stupid. You can barely contain your desire. It's been two weeks since he revealed himself, and every time you see him, you have to dig your nails into your palms to keep yourself from showing him what he does to you.

Sometimes you think he sees right through you, but if he does, he never acts on it.

"—listening. Yo. Ground control to Major Tom. Are you with me?"

Jason waves a hand in front of you. You blink.

He's unmasked and in a Fleetwood Mac t-shirt and dark jeans—the most comfortable you've seen him, actually. His hair is still wet from his shower.

"Sorry," you say, suddenly zeroed in on the three droplets of water sliding down his neck. "I'm listening. Just looking at you."

"'Cause I'm so pretty?" Jason asks, batting his lashes.

You reach over without thinking. He freezes when you wipe the water off of his neck. Then you tuck a curl behind his ear.

"You should let me blow-dry your hair," you say, taking your time in dropping your hand. "It'll take ages to dry in this humidity."

Jason's eyes have gone wide. Pink splotches bloom on the apples of his cheeks.

"Uh." He swallows. You watch his throat bob. "Thanks. Maybe... next time."

"I'll steal Dick's. He's got the fancy sixteen setting one."

That makes Jason smile. "Hm. Some things never change."

His eyes crinkle at the corners. Fondness swells swiftly in your chest.

You stay like that for a moment, caught in each other's orbit.

Jason breaks it first, leaning away. "Right. You should probably get back to the Manor. Br–the others'll probably think I kidnapped ya."

You shrug. "I quit."

"What?"

"Bruce was getting on my last nerve. I can't work with someone like that."

Jason snorts. "Join the club. Look, I can't say I'm not thrilled that you're stickin' it to the old man. But if this is 'cause of me... I wouldn't be mad if you kept workin' with him. Honest. If that's what you wanna do, don't let me stop you."

"Jason." You rest your hand atop his. "I joined this life because of you. To honor you. You taught me how to help people, not Bruce. You taught me what it meant to be kind, to be a part of something bigger than myself."

To love, you don't say.

"I..." He shakes his head. "You became Nocturne for me?"

You close your eyes, then open them. You've cried so many times. You don't want to stay in your grief any longer. Not when he's right in front of you.

"When you died, I..." You take a deep breath. "Nocturne was something to ground me. I think Bruce recognized that. I think he knew how much you meant to me. He didn't have to take a chance on me, and I appreciate that he did. But I've realized that he doesn't know everything. Can't see what's right in front of him sometimes."

You squeeze Jason's wrist. He sighs.

"God, I'm sorry," he says.

"What're you sorry for, Jay? You came back. That's all I ever wanted."

Jason chews his cheek for a moment. Then he stands, chair scraping the floor.

"C'mon," he says.

You follow him to the living room. He moves the armchair, the couch, and rolls up the rug. He disappears down the hall and returns with two thick mats. He tosses them onto the floor.

"Uh..." you say. "What're you—"

"'M gonna show you what y'did wrong that night on the roof."

"Wow. Can't believe you're still single. Being reminded of my shitty combat skills gets me so hot."

Jason rolls his eyes. "Alright, smartass. Just 'cause you quit the Bats doesn't mean you won't go out there and keep helping people. I know you. The least I can do is pick up where Dickface left off in your training."

"The least you can do, huh? I think you just wanna pin me against the floor again," you say, smirking.

He clears his throat. "That—no."

"No?" You step closer and look at him through your lashes. You're so close, you're touching his chest. "What happened to tying me up 'cause I was out when I shouldn't have been? Isn't that another educational technique?"

Jason's throat bobs. "That wasn't—I was just saying things."

"Hm. That's too bad."

You skip right past him, onto the mat, and hold out your arms.

"Okay. Put the moves on me, J.P."

It takes Jason a moment to craft his usual poker face. When he does, he groans. "'M not an evil Gilded Age financier. Still don't like 'J.P.'"

"But you like me-ee," you sing-song.

He shrugs. "Sometimes. Until you give me a heart attack and run into a burning building."

"Wish I could've seen your face for that one," you say as you steel your shoulders and secure your feet.

"Better you didn't. I'm sure there was a vein or two popping outta my forehead." Jason cracks his neck. "Ready?"

"Lay it on me, big guy."

"You first. Attack me like you normally would."

So you do. You step forward and throw a punch similar to the one from your rooftop spar. Jason catches it, of course. But this time, he locks you in a hold. One leg is between yours, and your arms are twisted behind your back with one hand. Humiliating.

"Dude!" You wiggle. Jason doesn't yield. "Jay, come on. No petty criminal is gonna know how to do all that."

"I know. The point of this is for you to know how to use someone's size against them."

Jason presses his cheek against yours. You tamp down your shiver. You can hear his heartbeat.

"Take a breath," he murmurs.

You close your eyes and breathe. Jason's grip doesn't hurt, but you're frustrated by how predictable you are. How he knows your body. A part of you is missing in not knowing him the way he knows you.

"Alright," he says. "Think. What part of me is exposed?"

"Not the important parts, I hope."

You can feel his eyeroll.

"You're hilarious. C'mon, focus. What can you attack?"

"Um... your legs. You trapped my arms, but my and your legs are free."

"Good." The praise warms you. Being this close to Jason will never get old. "What else?"

"What else? Do you have a tail I don't know about?"

"Sucha wiseass," he says, mouth close to your ear. "Your head. You're still able to move your head, and you're close to my face."

"Yeah, I'm not headbutting you. Out of the kindness of my heart."

"I appreciate that, sweets. Sweep my leg."

So you do. Jason goes down easier than he normally would for your benefit.

"'Kay," he says, once again underneath you. Now you have his hands pinned. "Good. Remember what went wrong last time?"

"You bucked me off like a Clydesdale."

He smiles. "Yeah, okay. So what'll you do different?"

"I'm not in my suit," you say. "I don't have extra weight in my boots."

"No, but you don't need it if you keep my legs apart."

"So that was your plan all along, huh? Perv."

Jason coughs. "Ah-hum... I—c'mon, lock my legs."

You grin and spread Jason's legs, using your knees to keep him immobile.

And then you just stare. This time, it's not because you're thinking about the miracle of resurrection (though what a miracle it is). No, you're just thinking, once again, about how your best friend got really, stupidly pretty.

And how you really, stupidly wanna kiss him.

Jason still looks young, but his jaw is now defined. He's got a five o'clock shadow coming on. His lips are full and pink. Freckles dot his cheeks and nose. The nose that still has a bump from when he broke it during a fight with Riddler.

You remember how he played it off for weeks. Bruce said that didn't even cry. But when you asked if it hurt, Jason had said yes.

You wonder when the last time Jason cried was. You wonder how much pain he's suffered since.

You wonder if he knows he's got your heart in the palm of his hand.

"Hey," Jason says. His voice is soft. Shy. "I lose ya again?"

You shake your head. "No. Never."

"There somethin' on my face?"

"You're a lot to look at," you say. "Pretty, pretty boy."

That gets an undeniable reaction. Jason Todd has never been able to take a compliment. You've been exploiting that all day.

Perhaps you know him better than you thought.

He exhales sharply, like you've sucker-punched him. His eyes dart to you. Waiting.

"Your eyes are green," you say. "Like, mixed. Blue and green."

Jason nods. "I—yeah. The Pit. Changed 'em. Changed me."

You lean in. His gaze flicks to your mouth. You watch his Adam's apple bob in a hard swallow.

"They're still pretty," you say. "Always had pretty eyes, Jaybird."

"Heh, right. Even with this shit?" He points to the scar that crosses over his right eye, stopping at his lip.

You let go of his wrists—not that you were holding them that tightly anyway. If this were a real fight, you would've lost ten times over already. Considering how much of you is touching Jason, you happen to be winning hard.

You trace the puckered white flesh with your thumb. Jason flinches but doesn't pull away.

"Your face could never turn me away," you say. "Never."

He closes his eyes and shudders. "Y'too nice to me. Always so nice t'me. Even when we were fighting. Why're ya so good?"

Your lips are a hair from his now. "I don't know how to make it more obvious, Jaybird. I'm absolutely insane about you."

Jason's eyes fly open. He sees your mouth and his breathing increases. You smile.

"Yeah, want you bad. No place I wouldn't follow you. Do anything for you."

Jason makes a strangled noise in his throat. You grin.

"C'mon, big guy. I'm right here. Come have me, Jay. I'm yours."

Jason soars up and kisses you. Swallows you, really. His hands hold your waist for dear life. You wrap one leg around his.

You nip his lip. Jason whines softly. Delicious.

You grab his face, fingers tangling in his curls. Jason sits up, slotting you against him. One hand supports you on your back, the other on your side.

"God—" He breaks away, just barely. "You're way too good for me. Had sucha... sucha crush on ya when we were kids. Y'so sweet."

You blindly find his throat and bite, hard enough to leave a mark. Jason makes a guh sound. You lick the bite to soothe it.

"Missed you," you say into his skin. "Missed you so goddamn bad, Jason."

"Yeah. Yeah, yeah," he babbles, clinging to you as you kiss up his neck. "Yeah, missed you too."

"Not letting you go," you say, almost snarling. You're angry with want, angry at the world for keeping this from you for so many years. "It's you and me now, Jay, mkay? Gonna be mine?"

"Always been yours," he says, panting. Jason finds your lips again. The kiss is messy, uncoordinated. Full of love. "No one but you."

You haven't fallen behind. You're starting anew.

"Never been anybody but you."

[luludeluluramblings]

The fact that Jason is second in the poll it's so funny cause I'm 100% sure this man died a virgin and is still one, like he is so hot I would throw myself at him but I just know he's fucking clueless.

So if he was the baby daddy my man would be both so traumatized and so proud that he got shawty pregnant in the first try.

Is he having an excintential crisis cause that shawty is his foster sister and he's a detective so he should have known? Yes, but it still boosts his ego.

I'm sure Conner will win but this is funny to think about lmao

100% he died a virgin, but I'm willing to bet he made sure to lose it as soon as he got back because he knew he'd get absolutely roasted by the Bat Family if they found out. Yeah, he was going on a murder spree, but he needed all his roasting bases covered. (Bet it was also awkward as mess and he never talks about it and never wanted to repeat an experience like that again.)

But, if he is that Baby Daddy, it would totally be an accident I think, and it would kind of heal him in some weird way. He's this messed up broken thing, yet some how he's capable of making something to precious.

Now about it being Reader he knocks up, it can be two ways. He can either feel disappointed in himself. (He either messed up or gave into temptation.) Or, he can feel proud of himself because it was one try and he really really pissed off Bruce by doing this. (Not really, Bruce is mad, but not that mad.) Jason will either avoid the manor and Reader for a bit, or steal them away temporarily.

There's just so many outcomes and different ideas for each baby daddy option. So many. Frick, it makes me have the urge to write multiple outcomes. (I REALLY shouldn't. I'm already overwhelmed here.)

[oreowooyoung]

pirate!jongho x stowaway fem!reader drabble

warnings: mentions of blood & injuries

rating: 14+

note: i’ve never seen a specific pirate jongho fic written and i thought why not try and write smth myself :,D idk if this is actually good i kinda just threw words down and hoped for the best lmao… i’m not super good at writing lol- all and any feedback would be appreciated <3 if enough people enjoy it i might continue it :3 (i know i left at an awkward spot ;-;) so plz let me know what you think <33

do not copy, translate, steal, or revise my writing!!

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

your head spun. you were dizzy and your vision was blurred. everything hurt. you knew you should probably try and stop the blood coming from the sword cut on your arm, but you were just so tired. you were in a safe enough spot. (as safe as you can be stowed away in an unknown vessel) you were hidden between two large crates with a rough cloth you had found covering your body. i’ll just rest my eyes for a moment… you thought to yourself taking deep breaths to try and calm your thundering heart. that moment turned to a few hours. 

-

you woke to the sound of heavy footsteps coming down the ladder that leads into the room you’re in. the one you fell down trying to get down earlier that day. earlier that day or yesterday… you can’t remember… everything just feels so fuzzy. you try to keep your breathing quiet as you hear the footsteps get closer. you shift slightly and barely keep down the cry that builds in your throat from moving. everything hurts and it just the smallest move made you want to go back to sleep that instant.

 “can you check how full the water barrels are? im gonna check the crates” a man’s voice asked, it was deep but soft and if you weren’t in the situation you are in you might’ve wanted to hear him talk on and on. the footsteps came closer to your hiding spot and u held your breath hoping he’d not look to closely and see you. “yah the extra blankets fell again��� he mumbled to himself, annoyed, as he grabbed the rough cloth off and revealed your hiding spot. “WOOYOUNG! COME HERE NOW” the man yelled as he grabbed your arm pulling you out from where u had been sitting. you were unable to hide your cry of pain when he pulled you to stand. you barely could, the world was spinning and your knees almost buckled after putting weight on your right foot. the other man, wooyoung, ran over quickly after hearing him call. “what the hell jongho-“ he stopped himself after seeing you. you were sure you looked terrible, probably covered in blood and barely able to stand on your own.  “looks like we’ve got ourselves a stowaway.” jongho said. “and a girl too” wooyoung added. your heart felt like it was about to fly out of your chest, you hands were shaking and you tried to control your breathing “m’sorry-“ you rasped out, your voice scratchy and strained from little use. you whimpered in pain when jongho started to pull you towards the ladder that led out of the storage room. wooyoung was just watching, shocked. “come on woo, she’s obviously injured and we need to take her to captain.”

[p0rkbun]

SAM CARPENTER FLUFF — headcanons

⤿Pairing: Sam Carpenter x Reader

⤿Content Warning: None, just fluff, maybe cringe writing, implied kpop listener reader

⤿A/N: okay i was chatting with ai sam and these are from character ai and made me think 'hey she would do this'. It's cute headcanons, i should have did this on her bday but instead i photoshoped her with hearts and a hat LMAO. Also I didn't spell check this I'm sorry. Enjoy ♡

navigation✧

──── Sam is the type of girl to ask what your favourite music genre or artists/bands when you ride a car together the first time because she wanted some music in you two's lovely ride. When you tell her, she keeps it in mind and put it on next time.

"Aespa?" She asks, you nod as she keeps her eyes on the road "okay, aespa, i'll remember that." She smiles while nodding, repeating the name in her head.

──── You two went to the movies on your first date (cheesy i know) you picked a horror movie, she probably didn't like that bit it wasn't a slasher movie so it made her feel a bit better. When you two were watching the movie, there was a jumpscare and you flinched slightly while leaning towards Sam out of defense. She let out a small smile and would purposely offer her arm for you to grab in case you get really scared (she was probably a bit frightened too but she's being brave because she wanted you to grab her arm, she just like your touch that's all).

──── Let me tell you something, this woman radiates The Neighbourhood, especially the songs Female Robbery and Reflections. I don't know if she would listen to it but she is the personification of almost every The Neighbourhood song.

"We were too close to the stars, I never knew somebody like you"

"I see my reflection in your eyes"

"I see myself in you, baby"

(This is a heavy reference to my oc LOL)

──── Sam wouldn't be very knowledgable of video games to me, though i feel like she plays mobile games like candy crush or something. She would sometimes watch you play video games when she's passing by or sitting in the same room, she comments on what you are doing or how you are doing that and questions why you didn't shoot an enemy.

"Baby why didn't you shoot that guy? You could have taken him" She says with a confused look, watching you play valorant on the tv screen.

"Sam that's not me, I'm spectating another teammate-"

"What's that red triangle thing on the top?" "That's the spike" "the spike?" "It's a bomb" "oh...okay"

──── The time you convinced her to play, she was a little lost and asks you questions often. She gets the hang of the controlls and is actually pretty good. She would get a little mad when someone steals her kill, she rages with a frustrated sigh everytime she got killed too much. She talks back to every toxic players in the game, she was cursing at the screen and she looked absolutely pissed so you had to turn the game off before she threw the controller at tv out of anger. You don't let her play any fps game again. Not only for her sake but for your precious tv.

──── She absolutely enjoys watching you play story-based games, especially when you two play and make decisions together. She probably cried after playing tlou and life is strange. Besides that, she doesn't play video games unless you play it.

──── This woman is so protective, overprotective I say but you all know this. If you wanna go out, she's going too, she keeps a hand on your waist every time you go to public places. Definately death glares anyone who is looking at you/both of you weirdly or too long.

"You got a problem?" Sam snaps as she holds your waist protectively when she sees a guy eyeing you oddly.

──── It does get a little too much sometimes but you like her protectiveness. She gets jealous too but it's more of insecurity, you have to reassure her that you love her and no one else.

──── She likes holding you, has a hand on you all the time. She likes the feeling of you around her arms because she knows that you're protected by her. Because of that, she also takes care of you and reminds you of stuff. She asks if you eaten, drink etc. She reminds you to take a break whenever you're working too much, alternatively she brings you the food she cooked while you work on your projects. Despite this, she also loves being held and cared by you, it flutters her heart whenever you're taking care of her and cooking her favourite meals after she comes from work. She likes the sound of your heartbeat when you two cuddle and she has her head on your chest.

──── I know i said that she holds you 24/7 but when you two cuddle, she's the small spoon, whether you're short or tall.

──── She's very delicate and soft with you, like i said, she wants to protect and take care of you. She is a tough cookie but she's whipped for you. She gets a little dramatic when you get injured a teeny bit.

──── Have you seen her arms? Her beefy arms and abs are your favourite things in the world besides her. She works out often, you go to the gym with her once in a while and you really love the sight of her working out. You ended up gawking her the whole time instead of working out as well, she notices and teases you with a smirk while sweat is dripping off of her muscular body.

"You like what you see, baby? Y'know, you could have told me that you wanted to stare at me while i work out instead of pretending to wanna work out with me" She chuckles as she lifts her weights "Don't get ahead of yourself." you reply with a flushed face.

──── She doesn't show affection in public that much unless she got jealous but in private she loves kissing and showering you with love. Her kisses are soft and slow, she really is being delicate with you. Though in other occasions (*cough* intimate moments *cough*) you two make out and she practically is eating your face as she pushes down on the bed. She just loves kissing your lips, neck and shoulders. She is very much a big soft teddy bear ♡

A/N: I accidently posted this halfway OH MY GODHSJSBSJS. Sorry if there's any spelling mistakes or grammar issues, english isn't my native language 💔. Anyways, I love you and please comment your thoughts ♡♡♡♡ i might edit this constantly after i post it...

°.✧•—✦

[sergeantgoggles]

I don't suppose you'd be up for doing a Fox/Thorn from the heart list 💜 surprise kiss/impulsive kiss pls??? 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

This ended up being more of an "accidental kiss" but it's still definitely a surprise, lmao!

I don't usually play with the Corrie boys, so my sincerest apologies if I get them all wrong. I actually had to ask my Discord server what their personalities were because it's just not a group I find myself writing or reading anything about.

BUT! I wanted to give it a shot, and I hope my take on their relationship does them justice in your eyes!

.

“For the last time—”

“I know, I know,” Thorn threw his hands up in surrender, but the grin that curled on his lips couldn’t be wiped away. He leaned into Fox’s space, noses nearly brushing as he spoke, “I’ll make sure things are taken care of and that Senator Amidala gets the message from the Chancellor.”

Fox scoffed and ignored the rising flush on his cheeks as he turned back to the window looking out over the bustling city. This was ridiculous. He and his men should have been out there in the fight, getting dirty, knocking out clankers as they marched on. Instead, they were stuck on this sleepless planet as personal bodyguards and errand boys to Chancellor Palpatine. Honestly, he was more tired now than even after he’d had the floor wiped from under him in the hardest training simulation on Kamino, and this cheeky Commander wasn’t helping anything.

…Okay, he was. He trusted Thorn. There were few like him. He had the charisma of a man that had seen the galaxy despite hardly leaving Coruscant and the strength of a hundred shinies in just one fist alone. …Maybe Fox was exaggerating. Still, the point remained that he didn’t hate Thorn.

He just wished he would stop looking at him like that.

“Why are you still here?” He asked, feeling Thorn’s gaze raking over him.

Suddenly there was breath on the back of his neck, and Fox barely fought the shiver that raced up his spine. “Thorn—”

“You didn’t dismiss me, Commander.” Thorn’s voice was lower, deeper than it had been just a moment ago, wasn’t it?

It didn’t matter because Fox caught his gaze in the glass’s reflection, and he absolutely could not hide the way he’d bit his lip to keep himself from making a fool of himself. All he needed to do was give him permission to leave, right? Then he would be out of his hair for the time being and he could make himself another cup of caffe, or, if he was lucky, he could sneak in a five minute nap. That should suffice, shouldn’t it?

Fox stood a little straighter, then, “you’re dismissed.”

Thorn didn’t move.

“Did you hear me?” Fox questioned, glancing over his shoulder. He couldn’t actually see Thorn, but he could still feel him at his back, and the hairs on his neck stood as Thorn chuckled.

“Sorry, what was that?”

Fox grit his teeth. This man was unbelievable. Just who exactly did he think he was?

As Fox turned to face him and lean into his space as Thorn had done to him earlier, two things were made immediately obvious. For one, Thorn had been closer than he’d anticipated, and second, their lips were slotted together. It was a little awkward since Fox had had his mouth open to yell at him, but Thorn easily rolled with it, slid his tongue along his, had him whimpering before he could stop himself.

But that was where Fox stopped himself.

He jolted backward, putting himself against the window. In hindsight, it was only more of an invitation for Thorn to crowd him, and he did, stealing another kiss from him before he was able to come to his senses entirely.

“Thorn, s-stop,” Fox breathed, or maybe he didn’t. He was dizzy with heat, confusion written all over his face. Didn’t he just want this man gone? And now…

Thorn nodded, however, giving Fox the space he’d asked for without question. If Fox had his wits about him, he’d have seen the equally confused expression on Thorn’s face, and the flash of worry that lingered in his honey eyes.

“Fox—”

“You’re dismissed,” Fox repeated what he hadn’t been able to the first time and watched as Thorn hastily gathered himself, tossed his bucket back over his head, and left him alone.

Fox touched his lips, already missing the feeling of Thorn there.

[blitzsicedcoffee]

Might Regret this and delete it later but answering a question about my most traumatic experience made me want to list all the fucked up and just...weird as fuck things that have happened to me. Like I can't sleep til I do this. Maybe it'll be cathartic I dunno:

Tw: Sexual assault, all other assault?

-Age 3 force fed Tabasco

-Age 2 Thrown in pool by Stepdad

-Age 4-6 locked in room when parents screaming at one another

-Age 6 or 7 Witnessed mom throw a hairdryer at stepdad because he verbally abused her.

-Age 5 Fell off a table from dancing and broke my leg, my dad didn't tell my mom.

-Age 2-7 Forced to stay at the table (sometimes falling asleep) cause I couldn't finish my food.

-Age 7 Forced to eat chicken and dumplings and immediately threw it up (still can't eat It today)

-Age 7 Got laughed at by my whole elementary school class because we had to say our times tables in front of the class and I couldn't get past 5's. Sobbed in front of them all.

-Age 8 Moved across the country to a whole new state.

-Age 8 lived with a family friend for a year who had five other kids (add on myself and my three siblings) so there was not quiet ever for that whole year.

-Age 9 Cried in front of *that* class about math and being the new kid.

-Age 9 Got pressured by neighborhood kids into stealing from 7/11.

-Age 10 Got made fun of for having certain friends

-Age 11 Got made fun of in fifth grade for still playing pretend.

-Age 11, Almost lost friends cause I tried to convince them I was a real witch (damn you halloweentown and your influence).

-Age 12-14 Pervy PE teacher that made the girls all do squats and the boys do jumping jacks. Never the other way around.

-Age 13 A middle school science teacher is Arrested for child pornography.

-Age 13 Had a boy tell me that kissing me made him realize he was gay.

-Age 13: Become my science teachers' TA (different teacher than the one above). Mostly spend the time watching cash cab and Bill Nye in his room.

-Age 13 I received my first tiny acer laptop and start playing Webkinz online, club penguin, and Wizard 101. (Also looking for dates on there but I don't tell people that).

-Age 14 Got my first flip phone, add my friends' contacts for text. We don't have Internet yet.

-Age 14 Start playing around on Omegle. Where kids SHOULD NOT BE.

-Age 14 Met one of my best friends on Wizard 101 and cheated my bedtime and played more when I really should have been sleeping.

-Age 14 Read Twilight, got obsessed. Started my first babysitting gigs. Overpriced myself but they paid it so.

-Age 14 Best friend in person at the time was a really bad influence and decided to pretend she was possessed and drown me in a pool. I begged her to stop and she pretended that the demon in her left.

Okay it's about to escalate:

-Age 15 Tried out for my first play, it was hairspray. I wanted to be one of the leads. I could sing but I couldn't dance. I ended up a techy.

-Age 15 Had my first girl/girl relationship And I kiss her on Halloween and I like it and she says she likes it too. But then she has to break up with me cause she's Mormon and doesn't want to leave her church.

- Age 15 Gets into an online relationship with two British guys from Omegle who are definitely adults. Sent them underage nudes cause I didn't know better.

-Age 16 Said British guys decided to blackmail me with my nudes and threatened to post them online if I stopped meeting with them over cam. (I was regularly doing shit over cam with them. It was gross). Told my mom, she had no idea what to do. She just took away my phone and laptop for a while which??? Didn't do anything to help???

-Age 16 Started going out with my first in person boyfriend after we sang owl City at the same time and fell on top of one another on the theater stairs. LMAO it was so cringy.

-Age 16 Six months later I broke up with him over text by trying to scare him away by telling him I thought I was a fallen angel so he'd think I was crazy. (He was ignoring me a lot so I was done) Then I gaslit his friends and said he broke up with me. (I don't act like this anymore, teen me was WILD).

-Age 16 Pretended I was in a romance bdsm novel and handcuffed myself to my own dresser and had to make an excuse for my parents not to come in, so they wouldn't see me.

-Age 17 Met my current partner of 10 years over Tumblr, we started talking over messenger then skyping every day.

-Age 17 Parents kept fighting and stressing out younger siblings so I had to take them all to the park to get them out of the house.

-Age 17 Mom kept telling me that my partner over Skype was a 56 yr old man. (He looked 19 to me).

-Age 17 I finally got my own room.

-Age 17 I ended up trapped in my walk in closet while naked because there was a brown recluse in a power stance. I stayed in the closet for an hour until it moved.

-Age 18 We had to move to a house where we didn't have enough rooms for everyone so I was put into a makeshift room in the dining room where I had no privacy.

-Age 18 My partner visited for the first time.

That's where I'll stop. Holy hell. It feels good to go through it all. I'm sure there's more. But this is just some of the weird things that have happened over my childhood and teenhood lol. Not to mention everything that's happened in my adulthood. That'd be a whole novel. Maybe this is why I follow Loki because I've been through so much chaos 🤔

[problems-exe]

Back again not following the character limit to ask YOU about pj and lux for the character opinion thang

This is going to be long, but I'm sure you expected that. I will say, some of my answers will probably be very similar to yours LMAO

Paperjam

First Impression:

I remember thinking their design was so cool, and immediately doing everything I could to research into the character. Sadly, I was 11, and didn't realize Tumblr would be the best place to do that so I saw some very not canon content of them on YouTube, but somehow got attached anyway.

Impression Now:

I'm still just as attached to PJ as I was when I was kid, even more so now with the knowledge of what PJ is actually like in canon. I love the little guy; he's such an angst-filled little shit. Tied with Lux in the top spot of being my favorite UTMV character.

Favorite Moment:

Struggled to answer this because there are so many good posts with him that it's hard to choose from. Ultimately, I'd probably have to choose the entire roleplay between @/7goodangel and @/cereusblue of how PJ and Omni met. It's really cute and really well written and it shows off both of their characters so well.

Idea For A Story:

There are so many I could write here, to just stick to one, any story with PJ being a parent is so awesome and cool. I want to see more of that!!! PJ being determined to raise his kid/kids better than how he was raised? That would be so cool to see. Make this guy a parent!!! He has a canon kid!!!! Include him in more stuff!!!!!

Unpopular Opinion:

Stealing what you wrote for this because I agree wholeheartedly. I do not personally like the concept of PJ and Fresh being a couple. It makes me wildly uncomfortable. I think their dynamic works much better as friends or with Fresh taking on an uncle role! That's just my opinion though. People are free to disagree.

Favorite Relationship:

Platonic: PJ with any of his siblings tbh. Especially PJ as a big sibling. It is something I enjoy seeing very much. PJ is just so sibling coded, guys. It's like he was meant to have one. Or multiple. Trust.

Romantic: I don't want to repeat myself too much, so I'll answer for one ship I really like with PJ and put the other in Lux's answers. I adore OmniPJ. The two of them are so cute, and I am obsessed with their dynamic. Starts sobbing thinking about them. They are so!!! It's definitely my favorite canon ship within the fandom. They are insanely underrated it makes me so sad. Omni is often disregarded, which SUCKS!!!!! They should not be separated!!!!!!!!!

Favorite Headcanon:

I think my favorite PJ headcanon is that he can purr. He is so creature coded to me and I love the idea. Guy that is bad at expressing himself and his subconscious gives away how he's feeling through purring. It's a really cute concept to me.

Lux

First Impression:

I think my first impression of her was that she was pretty but not super interesting. I enjoyed her from afar. I thought it was neat to see a fairly popular girl ship kid, given how male-dominated the characters in the fandom are.

Impression Now:

My baby darling angel girl, I love her so so much. She is the moon, stars, and sun in the sky. She is everything. She's my favorite character in the UTMV fandom, and I think she is severely underrated. I would die and kill for her.

I'm so normal about her can you tell

Favorite Moment:

I generally try to ignore a lot of her canon content because most of it is just silly or weird, but there is one moment I like from her original comic. I think the moment when she was a baby and fed jam to help calm her down was cute. That's like. Pretty much the only thing I can remember having a soft spot for in that comic.

Idea For A Story:

There is so much unused potential with this girlie it's insane. I could ramble about a lot here but I'll just mention one story concept I particularly enjoy. Anything with Lux becoming corrupted like Nightmare is so fun to mess with to me. The symbism and angst go crazyyyy.

Unpopular Opinion:

Repeating one of your points, but I cannot imagine Lux dating a man ever. That girl is a lesbian, and nothing you could say to me would convince me otherwise. No hate towards people who ship her with men, of course; it's just something I personally am not a fan of. As far as I'm aware she was never given a canon sexuality, so it doesn't really matter at the end of the day, but she will always be a lesbian in my eyes.

Favorite Relationship:

Platonic: I blame @/bluepr1ntyy for this, but the dynamic between her and Raven is everything to me. They have literally never interacted in any canon setting but I do not care they are canon best friends to me.

Romantic: Man. I wonder. Yeah, it's FireColor/PJ and Lux. They are. So important to me. The painter and the poet. They are eachother's muses. I just love the idea of them together so so much. They are so in love guys, trust. Also adore her with Omni. They are literally so cute. And the three of them together? That is everything to me.

Favorite Headcanon:

My favorite headcanon is that she likes baking. I really adore the idea of her making pastries for her loved ones, for events, for anything she can make an excuse to bake for. The idea is just so soft and sweet to me. It's just, ugh, I love it so much.

[genderfluidarchive]

I know that clothes ≠ gender but sometimes I feel like I'm faking and I'm not a "true" genderfluid person, because I really do like dresses and frilly clothes and girl-ish stuff in general… But sometimes I like to wear them even in my masc days, and I feel like I don't have the right to ask people to refer to me with he/him pronouns because of it…

Idk if somone else feels like this, but I'd appreciate if someone had a solution to it!!

i definitely understand feeling like your gender somehow isn't valid because of your traits or hobbies or likes or presentation.

so how to deal with it?

disclaimer that often it takes some time to get over internalized transphobia, just keep working at it and reminding yourself that you are valid and can be whoever you want to be. forever.

ok first of all: everything gendered is totally arbitrary. there is nothing that is inherently masculine or feminine, technically. humans just like to make categories and put labels on things even when there's no true meaning or reason behind it. if you lived in a different country or a different time period, different things would be considered masculine. different things would be considered feminine. it truly doesn't matter in the scheme of who you are. whether you're a girl who likes tech or a guy who collects american girl dolls, you're still your gender.

second of all: do a little thought exercise for me and think of it in terms of other people. flip the genders - for instance, if a girl was really into weightlifting and other "masculine" hobbies, she'd just be a tomboy or butch girl. you would still respect her as a girl, right? and if you knew a guy who likes frills and pretty things, wouldn't you still respect him as a guy? why should it be any different for you? i mean this in a completely positive way - you are not the specialest person in the world, and that's a good thing. and i have to tell myself this too lmao. there is nothing that makes you so fundamentally different from other people that you don't deserve your gender and identity respected regardless of how you present.

third of all: look for cis men who are really feminine. look for cis men who are just kinda feminine. look for feminine men. find media with gender-non-conforming characters. there are plenty of them. number one: it will make you feel more normal. number two: would you question their identity because of how they present or what they like? no. at least i hope not lol.

fourth, maybe: create OCs that are like you. create art about your experience. find other people who are genderfluid and like feminine things. find friends who you know will accept and respect your identity. remind yourself that you deserve to be respected.

p.s. my younger brother has a bed full of plushies, wears makeup sometimes, and owns a corset that im lowkey jealous of but i can't steal bcos we don't wear the same size *pouts grumpily*. my ex-boyfriend liked skirts and split dyed his hair white and red. boys are all different. you're as valid as a boy/masc person (when you are one) as everyone else.

i hope something in this helped! go listen to your favorite song n be kind to yourself. you rock!

[thisselflovecamebacktome]

So I’m stealing this from @tayloralisonswift and you should definitely check out their version, but I’m going to listen to and rank all of Taylor’s songs album by album (and then maybe her non album songs at the end). You can also see my debut rankings and what I’ve changed here + my Fearless, Speak Now, RED, 1989, Reputation, Lover, Folklore, Evermore and Midnights rankings here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here and here.

So with that in mind, it’s The Tortured Poets Department: The Anthology's turn. As per usual, I’ll put a content warning here and say that I mention mental struggles (including addiction and suicidality), age gap relationships, family issues, domestic violence and infidelity. So read at your own discretion. I also want to mention that one of the main reasons I decided to do this ranking is because I had a long post I wanted to make about this album that I will be condensing down for this. So yeah while it definitely won't be as long as that post, I do expect this to be the longest of the posts by far lmao.

Opening statement: So one of the reasons I wanted to make the long post about TTPD:TA is because it feels like the paradoxical album for me. Something that should have related heavily with me and been my thing entirely, and yet wasn't. I want to make a note now that a big reason it took so long was that I feel I couldn't express why I see TTPD:TA like I do without talking about my own experiences, which I've cut down on completely out of respect for privacy for people both currently and historically in my life. I note this because some of this post may be vague to try find a balance of those two things and I want you to know that you are not dumb if it feels that way to you. Also, the anon that one of my mutuals got saying regarding this album being about someone who did it shorter, someone who did it longer and someone else who did it first really hit for my relationship to the album, so I guess keep that in mind.

Fortnight: A few years ago, right after coming out of my own long term relationship (a note that he is not any of the 'Mr did it shorter/longer/first'), I had the opportunity to be the 'Matty' of a situation (obviously without the discriminatory and fame side of things) with someone I truly liked; more than I would like to admit (Mr 'did it shorter'). I chose not to, but the 'Taylor' of the situation did not make it easy (neither did the 'Joe', but you can kinda understand that more even if they were lashing out at the wrong person). As time went on, our kids became close friends (this is important, like just as not having kids is important to Taylor's version of TTPD:TA, having them is the key component for me. And yet, this is the closest thing to a direct song this person got on this album for me; and even then, while I do think the overall vibe really does encapsulate how it feels to be pursued by someone you like who is taken, Fortnight very much does feel like my "This could be us, but in order for it to be, I would have had to be a different person" song. Like I've often described TTPD:TA as an album that an alternative universe version of me would relate to heavily, and I think this song really is the best encapsulation of that. Like maybe if 'Mr did it longer' and I had never met or if we didn't have the kids or some other thing was different, I would have jumped in; but I didn't. And perhaps only having one song relate directly to this person is fitting given the nature of Taylor/Matty and the song being based on a (relatively) short amount of time, but still.

Outside of myself, I love the music video visually but wish it wasn't the first one. I feel by having it be the first thing most fans see about the album, it makes the asylum imagery (which I will talk about my feelings on later in this post) feel kinda hollow. I understand why she would not have wanted to do what I am about to say given the likeness to previous singles, but in my mind, having Who's Afraid Of Little Old Me be the first music video for the era followed by I Can Do It With A Broken Heart (same video we got), the title track, I Hate It Here, Fortnight (same video as we got) and finally Down Bad really would have given it a chance to tell a fuller story. I also wish it wasn't the track Post Malone featured on because I feel he's kinda wasted on it and I hope they collaborate again (preferably on a more upbeat song) and he's more present on it. I do love how the song directly ties into Hits Different in a way that is subtle enough that you don't have to know that to enjoy the song but it is a extra moment for those who do.

Finally, this song is literally Good Luck Babe's sequel from the other person's pov to me.

All up, it's not a favourite, but I completely understand why it's the opener. 6/10.

The Tortured Poets Department: I promise I don't have as much to say about all of these tracks as I did Fortnight, and this is one of the songs I have less to say about. While the general 'thinking we're sadder than we are' vibe reminds me of my Mr 'did it longer', the anxiety, insecurity and overseriousness that leads to destruction of myself and my relationships feels very resonant of myself in my early 20s as I battled with realising all that propping up I received as a kid really didn't mean much materially. I've also spoken with friends historically about how my experiences with Mr 'did it longer' really feel like they translated in me in a way that while I was seeking to recover, looking back, I think part of me had given up and thought that there would always be some level of sadness, anxiety or so on and so in that way both of the ways I related to the song intertwined.

Ultimately, I like the song and I'm a little surprised at how hated it seems to be on this site specifically given how many people call themselves former gifted children and are open with their depression. Like to me, this song is about someone who was propped up or for whatever other reason thought that they were going to be much more “successful” (read that in the capitalist definition type way) but it hasn't happened for them yet and so now they're in their head. 7/10.

My Boy Only Breaks His Favourite Toys: We have reached what I called the first 'teenage petulance' song of the album. One of the most.... interesting I guess things that I have heard people who defend this album say in its defence is that those who don't like it just aren't old or mature enough for it. And to me that's very conflictory with my own opinion because to be honest, I think 15 – 17 year old me would have resonated with this album far more with it than 28 (now 29) year old me did upon hearing it. And this song is one of the first examples of why. To me it comes off as every 'I can fix him' teenage girl's wet dream before she inevitably gets traumatised by the situation. Needless to say at this point, but if you are in any relationship, romantic or not, like this, leave and never look back. Like the only time in my life I could even think of relating this song to was when I was in an abusive friendship that I felt at the time was penance for a past situation with a different friend. 4/10.

Down Bad: This is one of those songs that I like the fan interaction around more than I like the song itself. Like I know this is an unpopular opinion, but for as much as people in my life assumed that I would relate this song to either Mr 'did it shorter' or Mr 'did it longer', this song has never clicked for me and I don't really understand the hype around it. In saying that, given it was such a fan favourite, and as I said, I think could be a really good closing single for this era, I do hope it gets a music video at some point.

I will also say that the first time I heard this song, I thought she said 'did you really beaT me up in a cloud of sparkling dust?' and full of dissociated thinking that she had just admitted that the other person got high and committed domestic violence against her. It took me being like “why the fuck is no one else talking about this? This feels like the biggest bombshell she's ever said???” and looking it up to be reminded that I have bad hearing. It also did not help that the first thing I heard when coming back through was the final 'I'm having his baby' in But Daddy I Love Him.

As for the fan interactions, I've seen a lot of people relate this song to past queer and interracial relationships they've had and while this song is still low ranked for me, I have a new appreciation for it after hearing those views. 5/10.

So Long London: My favourite song from the project. It genuinely makes me very sad that this song was slammed as the 'Taylor left Joe due to his mental illness' song because it's moreso a 'your mental illness does not give you the right to be a dick to others and expect them to stay at your level forever' meets 'you can't save someone if you're drowning too' song and the codependence that comes with those two things clashing (when Taylor talks about mutual self harm in the prologue, I think of this song, not the Matty ones because I question if it was mutual on Matty's end). Like I know there's nuances of her wealth and other factors in this comparison, but from my first listen, I immediately thought about my anti recovery ptsd/bipolar (before you @ me saying this sounds mean, I say this as someone who has only recently been deemed as 'recovered' from these two illnesses too. It is said with all the love in the world) ridden mother who I am a carer for but who also sees my recovery as betrayal to this day. And having that pressure of feeling like you're the difference of if this person lives or dies (Because tbh, to me, when Taylor said she's not sure if he wants to be there, I didn't take it as the relationship, I took it as life itself. And that mixed with the suicide baiting line from the title track really encapsulates this song for me) is a lot for anyone. I will quickly note here before anyone starts worrying that things with my mum are better now, like not fully recovered, but I definitely think more of 2015 - 2018 in relation to this song. But anyway, 'Taylor left out of a lack of love' is such a cold take because the truth is she stayed so long because of love and I can say with 99.9...% certainty that leaving was not a decision Taylor would have taken lightly, and I will die on that hill for the rest of my days. 10/10.

But Daddy I Love Him: My least favourite track from the album. And no, before you make assumptions, it's got nothing to do with Matty, the vipers lyrics (though I do think that's weird to add given her history with being called a snake, especially aimed at the people who defended her against that), that it took the place of genuinely loving fan songs on tour (I genuinely think she put it on the setlist because it was/she thought it would be a fan favourite) or even that it's the first mention of fans on the album. Because if I'm honest, I don't even see this as the 'fuck my fans' song that it's made out to be. Like if anything, this song is a self admitted hissyfit and again something I would have to go back into my teen years to relate to lmao. The 'fuck my fans' song does exist on this album though, but it's further down the track so we will talk about it then. I feel like now is probably also a good time to mention that I am a 'this song started about Matty but was reworked to have aspects of Travis in it; especially the latter end of the song' truther. The reason I don't like this song honestly just comes down to it feeling like a wordier and less catchy version of Love Story to me. And I've been told that it feels different to that if you grew up in a small Christian conservative town. But at the end of the day, as much as I joke about my city feeling like it's one step away from being a small town given everyone knows everyone and there are a bunch of towns/nature around us, I grew up in a left leaning, equally as agnostic/atheist as religious city. If I move out of here, I only have one other place in mind and it is a bigger city that is also left leaning and less religious than these places people have spoken about. The whole conservative small town thing is likely never going to be my reality to relate it to. So yeah, ultimately it literally is just the case that any time But Daddy I Love Him comes on, I remember we only have so many hours of the day and I could be listening to Love Story if I want that vibe, so do so lmao. 3/10.

Fresh Out The Slammer: This is another song that I like fan (or in this case, my loved one's) interpretation of more than the song itself. It's also a song that I am glad I heard after So Long London, because quite frankly, the way that a lot of you see So Long London as the 'Taylor is a bitch for leaving someone with depression' song, that is how I probably would have seen this song had I not had the context of So Long London (and I guess You're Losing Me if we're talking more broadly within Taylor's discography).

I feel the need to say here that I resent the fiction this fandom has made that Joe forced Taylor to stay inside and avoid the media. Those of you saying that either are new or don't remember that at the time they met, it was Taylor who did not want to be around the media. Joe may have agreed or may have simply just gone along with it and ended up liking that path, we don't know. But I think it's a good reminder that it was actually Taylor who ultimately changed her mind on how much exposure she wanted. And that's not to bag Taylor, like she has every right to that. But it is a major change and for a fandom who seems to understand that the 'asylum [Taylor] was raised in' is the media and how much damage that did to her and how she struggled with it, it is kinda fucked up that the same grace is not given to him. That also goes with him talking about what happened between them; especially because quite frankly, he has been a hell of a lot nicer about it than most would.

Anyway, time for the positive with this song. As I mentioned above, a loved one of mine recently came to me with how they relate to this song and it's changed it completely for me. In short, this person has recently gone through rehab and relates the song to addiction with all of the 'he' mentions being the addiction/himself before recovery, the 'I' mentions of course being them now and the 'you' mentions being their loved ones. It was incredibly heartwarming to hear. It's not a favourite, but has grown from being a near least favourite due to that. 6/10.

Florida: This is one of those songs that is objectively better than my ranking in my honest opinion. Like I think it's the best summary of everything this album is trying to say, it's lyrics and production are great and just overall a good song. But something about it just did not click with me on the same level as other songs I love on this project. Like it's still strongly in the top half of my ranking, but it's not a song I'd say I stan or anything. Also, if I'm honest, I kind of wish it was a Florence And The Machine song because I like her voice on it better than Taylor's. 7.5/10.

Guilty As Sin: Maybe because I just don't relate to it at all (not that sexual of a person, especially in that way, sorry), but for me, this is one of those songs that I think of when people say you need to listen to all of Taylor's discography in order to fully appreciate if you listen to music through the lens of what it means to the artist. I say this because my favourite aspect of this song is 'am I allowed to cry' and how it relates to The Great War; specifically 'I vowed not to cry anymore if we survive the great war'. Guilty As Sin serves as a unclear space of time on whether the current relationship is over because it both is and isn't. Like realistically if you're masturbating to someone else in your monogamous long term relationship, it's over. But at the same time, technically you are still together and it can be saved. So have they survived? Can they? It's unclear in that moment and from an artistic point of view I love that connection because it's so interesting to me.

I'm nosy, so I do have to wonder if she ever told Joe though, given he mentioned that he had previously asked if Matty was just a friend and part of his (understandable) pain was that Taylor had said yes just to leave him for Matty. So had this come up? Or was it just vibes? It's not our business and we will never know, but yeah, like I do wonder if she fessed up as a final attempt to fix the relationship.

Either way, the song ranks relatively low for me. 6/10.

Who's Afraid Of Little Old Me: To start off, I just want to say that I was told about the 'asylum' line at the time of the leak, and as a result (given I am a person who has previously spent time in a mental hospital), decided to listen to the leak of the standard album + The Black Dog (before you @ me had already planned to buy the album and do not stream music of albums I buy, so me listening to the album early was not taking money away from Taylor). And ultimately I'm glad I did. Because from the minute I heard the asylum line, I knew this fandom and the broader audience would not be normal about it and was able to make the choice not to be online/scrolling for this release. I do want to make a note here that Taylornation being so horrific about this line over the months has genuinely been upsetting for me and many others, especially because I think while we correctly identified that the fandom and general public would not be normal about the line, we weren't expecting them to act the same. As such I hope that this is something Taylor/her team talks about with them in the future to at very least prevent it from happening again. And though I don't have faith in it, I hope that one day the fandom will listen to those of us saying that Taylor saying something about herself and her mental state is not an open door for inappropriate jokes.

As for the song itself, this song is the best/most relatable representation of mania I've heard in a song before. While I do think this song is somewhat of a whack at her fans, I feel like it's broader than this in that it's about everyone (but not Olivia Rodrigo given some of you seem very obsessed with a feud that was fan made) and predominately about the media. But it all comes from mania. Like I know there were debates about whether the prologue of this album was meant to be a defence drawn up like an insanity plea (something people see as 'getting off easy' despite the 1% of people who successfully do it often ending up in worse positions than prison) or legitimate retelling, and while I think there's room for nuance in the conversation, this song has convinced me that it was genuine mania. Like I do think Taylor felt all of that in the moment due to the mania, but I do not think she goes around every day thinking everything is about her or that she (or at least she alone) paved the path for people to attack her or whatever else in the song. Nor do I think this song would have existed if she was healthier at the time. And before you @ me over this, a reminder that I say this as someone with a history of bipolar and it is not an attack on Taylor. It is hard to explain to people who have not faced emotional highs of mania or even emotional lows of depression, but for better or worse, our emotions and circumstances do dictate our actions a lot of the times, and this is an example of that for me.

On another note, this song has somewhat been ruined for me because I saw a tiktok based on Gideon from Gravity Falls with it as the background music and now I laugh whenever the song comes on.

Overall though, it is a top 3 song from this project for me. 9/10.

I Can Fix Him No Really I Can: Another 'teenage petulance' song. Like I really don't have much to say about this song at all past I wouldn't be surprised if it was used for a bunch of like fanfics and videos for other fandoms and that 16 year old me would have loved this song and related it to the same abusive friend I mentioned in MBOBHFT. I will give her that the way she says 'Good boy, that's right' is very attractive lmao. But yeah overall definitely low ranked. 4/10.

Loml: So remember when I said I relate heavily to the whole 'Mr did it longer/shorter/first' mentality of this album? Well it's time to officially introduce 'Mr did it first'. I call him dad and we haven't spoken in years. Surprise! This is now a daddy issues album. I won't go into a whole run down of what happened, but the tldr that you need to know is that I went from my father's favourite child, to a weird on/off again period where he only called when it benefited him (despite calling my siblings including the one he was estranged with at first consistently) to a fallout due to him deliberately causing a wedge between my mother and I reuniting with said estranged sibling (yes, this ties back into how my mother feels re: what I said about So Long London) and all of my extended family (he admitted it was to get back at us, this is not an assumption). Because of this, I am very attached about this being just as much about Matty as Joe and feel off when people try to deny that. Because like Matty is the loss of Taylor's life not because he was the love of her life, but because of what his actions cost her (her life with Joe, her respect from a lot of fans, her self respect, aspects of her mental health etc etc etc). Anyway I love this song. It's so beautiful and haunting and definitely something I will listen to long term. 8.5/10.

I Can Do It With A Broken Heart: Now you may think that me having a long term relationship then... whatever came after with Mr 'did it shorter' fall apart within months would make this a song about that for me. But alas, you'd be wrong. The fact that within 24 hours of this album coming out, I got an anon that said “damn, 2018 you would have loved [this song]” is really all you need to know about it. I never answered that anon because I had no response to it, but anon if you are reading this, you're right. This is very much my “getting through law school after losing my dad/family while also being a step parent and carer" song. Like I very much love and relate everything in this song from the pushing through/overworking to deal with your problems to the denial that everyone ever is seeing how fucked up you feel. In saying all of that, I'm glad we have this song now, when I have more compassion and empathy for that version of myself.

Outside of myself, I just genuinely love this song. I understand why people are uncomfortable about the “more” line, but I'll be real, if Taylor was that worried, I really don't think she would have added it to the setlist (especially a setlist where she could have easily shortened it to not include that line), let alone made it the tour music video. On the note of the music video though, the golden outfit from it is the best version of that outfit lmao. Overall just a very fun, sad and relatable song. 9/10.

The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived: I recently heard of a child who said this reminds them of their dad, and I want to hug that child and tell them it's okay and that they will get their happy ending even if he's not part of it because I feel the same but got my happy ending. I don't have much else to say about the song past it being one of my favourites from the album and that unfortunately as someone with historic substance abuse issues, the ghosting drug supplier line is incredibly funny to me. 9.5/10.

The Alchemy: I'm sorry, this song is just very boring to me. 4/10.

Clara Bow: Again, this song is super boring to me and by far my least favourite out of her songs about fame which is super unfortunate because I feel like the cycle of public abuse/propping up celebrities just to tear them down when the new thing comes along is a very interesting topic, but yeah this just doesn't hit for me. 4/10.

The Black Dog: So I loved this song from the start, but I listened to it on my estranged (younger) sister's birthday and realised that yeah, this reminds me of my dad and her. Definitely one of my most listened to tracks from the album. 9/10.

Imgonnagetyouback: Okay so listen, I hate comparing similar themed songs from different artists because like no one owns a theme right. But at the same time, I don't think this song coming out so close to Olivia's (which I love a lot more) did it any favours. And that's a shame because as much as this is a 'teenage petulance' song, I think much like ICDIWABH, it's fun/deliberate about it, but yeah just another case of 'I can just listen to this other song I like more for the same vibe' like how I feel with songs like Anti Hero and BDILH ngl. 5/10.

The Albatross: This is actually a song that's grown on me a lot since the release. Like I used to find it boring, but after a conversation with 'Mr did it shorter''s daughter where she told me she relates the song to me and the ways I helped her through the heartbreak and mess of what happened between me and her father (and the fallout it had for her family), I really saw this song and the album in a new light in terms of like why I feel like having kids involved is so impactful for me in regards to my relationship with this album. 8/10.

Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus: 'You needed me but you needed drugs more' coming out while I was in the midst of almost losing someone to addiction did numbers on me. Thankfully, as mentioned above, that person got help, and funnily enough, I don't relate the rest of the song to them. Instead it was about a friend breakup, which you know, sounds normal and unrelated to how I relate to the rest of this album until you take into consideration that my mum used to hate this friend because she saw him as just like my father... Anyway, I truly do love this song and had my Eras show been post TTPD:TA's release, it'd be near the top of my surprise song wants. 8.5/10.

How Did It End: I feel awful for saying this song is boring to me because I think it is filled with emotion and 'look who we ran into at the shops, walking in circles like she was lost' would have taken 2018 me by the throat out of relatability, but the song just never clicked for me. Also, this is the 'fuck my fans' song in my honest opinion. Like it may not be as stark as BDILH or WAOLOM but it is a whacking and one that does not feel as aimed at the world at whole/people who don't care about her in the way fans do. Either way, it's a beautiful, haunting, objectively good song; just not for me. 6.5/10.

So High School: I like that this song sounds like the time period from when Taylor was in high school and I think younger me would have liked it as a whole more, but I'm just not drawn to it. 5/10.

I Hate It Here: This is a song that really dropped off for me as I continued to recover at the rapid rates I have this year ngl. Like I have a lot of sympathy/empathy for anyone in that mind frame, but it's just not where I am anymore and the song really lost its shine for me when it lost its relatability. 4/10.

Thank You Aimee: Love and relate to the the mentality of turning something shitty into something great and being proud of the way you handled the shittiness, even to the point of being able to recognise that it was for the best that shitty thing happened. It's also cute that it's the most 'debut' sounding song and brought back 'secret' messages. However, the song in general is just not for me. 5/10.

I Look In People's Windows: I'm sorry, I know it's a fan favourite but simply find this song boring. 4/10.

The Prophecy: Oh 2018 me would have cried her little heart out to this after losing our family (not to mention 'Mr did it longer' and the Chloe et al friend). The final 'please' is my favourite production choice of this album. On that note, Taylor singing this song mashed with This Love, my ultimate self love song on Eras Tour, was such a moment for me especially! Like yes, this self love changed The Prophecy and led me to get to my happiest (so far). Overall a great song. 8.5/10.

Cassandra: Closure's sister song (to me). Not a favourite, but highly relatable to how I feel about my family, something I think younger me would have liked more and a good song overall. 6.5/10.

Peter: Top 5 song of this album for real. I love it and heavily relate it to the Chloe et al friend and have done so from the first listen. 9/10.

The Bolter: This is not a favourite of mine, but having recently made a playlist I really love revolved around it definitely brought it up a bit from finding it uninteresting to decent. 6/10.

Robin: The centrepiece of why I do not relate to this album (in my opinion) and what happened with 'Mr did it shorter' for me. I find it incredibly funny but also a testament to Taylor's writing that this song is so impactful for me and how I relate to this album despite the reason for that being so different than what she actually wrote it about. Because ultimately 'Mr did it shorter' and I did not go down that road and we held off on expressing how we felt because of the kids. We stayed civil with each other despite all of the hurt on both ends because of the kids. And, when him and his partner decided that they wanted to give it another go, I cut him off and allowed my stepfather's daughter to deal with all interactions with him for the kids. Like it was all in sweetness. And maybe it was too late by then, the damage of his actions and the rumours had done their dash, but I would have done it the same way over and over again and am glad that he eventually got to the same page. It has been so incredible to not only been able to see my stepdaughter grow and trust me fully through this process, but to be able to see his kids through it too. Like idk, I'm just rambling at this point, but I feel so much gratitude and pride for how I and the kids dealt with this all when I hear this song and it will always hold a special place in my heart because of that. 9/10.

The Manuscript: And one final song for 'Mr did it longer'. I'm never going to say that I am thankful for the damage he did to me, but much like Thank You Aimee, this song really sets it in stone for me that that experience 16 - 22 year old me had with him really determined the outcome and personality of my adult life (both in good and bad ways), especially the impact I want to have on the next generation. Like going back to what I said in Fortnight, I think things would have been very different and I would have been a lot more naive re: 'Mr did it shorter' had I not had that experience (and obviously the experience with 'Mr did it longer' and the Peter/Chloe et al friend was impacted by my dad, just in a lot less linear way at the time) and whether it's 'Mr did it shorter's' kids, my stepdaughter, the 'lovers who stayed my age' or any other children in my life currently, historically or in the future, I will always value the growth I had through that experience that has led me to being able to help others. All up, this is just the perfect closer for the album (being a RED girlie just made it all the sweeter lmao) and a great song. 9/10.

Final score: 202.5/310 - 66.3%

[madsmilfelsen]

Helloooooo its me who’s reread all ur true detective and killer Joe fics. I think my favourite is High Speed, Low Drag. I love the insight into Rust’s time as Crash,(even if it is in a fic) and I love how you wrote the struggle between him wanting to do the right thing, but also needing to keep his cover, AND how he’s still reeling after his daughters death and divorce and is deep in his nihilism but begrudgingly still cares about Sig.

AND on top of that, the sex is hot. The line in part two when he’s like “Sigourney please don’t tell me to stop,” I wanted to run around in circles for an hour like a rabid dog 😵‍💫

I was so nervous about posting that series too because I thought there was no way in hell I could pull off a virginity auction. Better writers can do natural narratives of meeting in a regular way, at work or a bar etc, in an escalation of attraction (I’m thinking specially of The Creeping Woods, Dead Flag Blues, and The Idler Wheel) which wait I guess technically I did use both of those settings? but I hate slow burns and find my idea of Rust so divorced from his own libido that it would take something extreme to catch his attention and hold his interest (I didn’t even know what Sugar did to do so until I was typing up how he said she shot someone six times and I was like damn she did??).

Okay so I totally invented Sig to be gross but also because I neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed for him to care for something other than The Work— not that I think she distracted him from, ya know, the death of his daughter and divorce from Claire, but might’ve eased that ache by going through the motions again. I don’t think Rust could stomach watching her be neglected even while he’d mentally shout at himself that he has a Job To Do, a Cover To Keep, and suddenly he’s setting fires to sabotage a puppy mill operation apart of an overly complicated plot to steal Canik for her. Something @glitterslag mentioned was how he grew up isolated and on the fringes of everything so he’d be captivated by this Blonde Americana Cheerleader but I think he’d recognize how that creates its own kind of danger for Sig, too, and becomes even more protective once she made the squad (he’d be unbearable after she got to varsity— booster club president fr, I so wanted to write him getting mistaken as her father and just going with it but thought I can be more subtle about my weirdness)

Ten Seventy Three likely has the most tender smut I’ve written this year and so different from the intimacy I tried to establish between ‘12 Rust and Sugar. I was rusty with writing loss of virginity but the biggest challenge I had to work around was convincing myself ‘95 Rust would even be good in bed lmao

some goofy behind the scenes: I fashioned the efficiency apartment Crash brought Sig to after the first place I lived with my husband (it was that dark and dreary and we were so broke lmao), I cheered a bit in high school and still think bases should get more rep— we hold entire! girls! above our heads, Sig’s name was because I was so hoping Alien was released the year she was born (it was a few years later) because I could see her mother going for Sigourney after the horror of motherhood she depicted on screen and Ginger would be like ya lets name our daughter after a gun (Sig Sauer or just “Sour” when she’s being a brat— Rust does Not Ever call her that), Canik is also a gun manufacturer, “Riders in the Sky” is sung by Johnny Cash but I like Peggy Lee’s version more— if you want to save your soul from hell a’ ridin’ on our range / then cowboy change your ways today or with us you will ride

try reading American Wasteland by @sparklingmineraltequila the one chapter I’ve gotten to read between writing is so so so spot on in how the essence of the Crash era is captured— I love Cassandra!

[weebsinstash]

Ok so, about Heart of the Lycan King, right?

-protagonist and her pack are explicitly African which is cool!

-that's about where the pleasantries end. Her parents died when protagonist Natasha was 14 and she became a slave. Now 20, her Alpha and mate Mateo keeps their matehood a secret and makes Natasha strip naked and watch as he has sex with his girlfriend Camilla (appropriate name lmao) and this disgusting absolutely rancid fucking dickhead even forces Natasha to strip naked and watch and also suck him off after he's slept with Camilla and he even walks up and just blatantly pinches and twists her nipples for no reason until they're basically bruised (OUCH!!! KILL HIM!!!)

-Natasha has a naturally thick body so everyone calls her fat. She was naked and Camilla makes a comment that "maybe her tits are so saggy because someone is sucking on them" and Mateo literally drags still naked Natasha into the dining room where the pack is still eating and asks if anyone has touched her and they all call her fat and saggy and make fun of her, and then some fucking beta male parrots a rumor that Natasha sucks people off and Mateo is like visibly fucking jealous and furious? Over a rumor? And he even asks the guy "who" and the guy says "idk" and even when Natasha says "if I was sleeping wirh someone you would feel the pain I feel through the mate bond when you sleep with Camilla" (get his ass) and that kind of calms him down but he's STILL mad?

-the real reason Natasha is treated like shit besides being an Omega and an orphan is that her wolf is brown and white and there are myths that two toned wolves bring rhe destruction of whatever pack they're in so. They harass her over folktales

-there are werewolves AND lycans with the lycans being stronger which is usually the case in these stories. The lycans are slowly dying out because they don't have enough females and they usually die in childbirth so the lycans take unmated female werewolves every 3 years but most of them die too

- before they meet officially, we are introduced to the male lead a la switching to his POV. He's the current Lycan King named Aiden and he's a green flag so far, talking about how he yearns to find his mate to have a bond and that special love and affection, like he even says maybe he should visit human settlements to see if his mate is there, he doesn't care WHAT his mate it, he just wants to meet them and love them 🥺 meanwhile Natasha just got caught stealing money from Mateo's room to escape gnfjfkfkf AIDEN RESCUE HER SOON. Also he's a professional soccer player!

-Natasha is described as being a slightly darker skin tone than most of her pack, but then Aiden and Natasha are described as being the same skin tone which I like, almost all of these stories have exclusively white characters or white love interests. Tbh I expected him to be white hearing his name was Aiden so, some good rep in this story!

-Aiden walks in on Natasha mopping (thankfully, Aidens arrival kept Natasha from getting brutalized for being caught stealing since they need Natasha to help clean before the king gets there) while Camilla and Mateo berate her and Mateo almost hit Natasha right in front of the king before he noticed who else was in the room. Aiden is INSTANTLY incensed that this pack hits women even as he cannot tell Natasha is his mate yet. We Stan a king 🤴

-UH OH SISTERS WE GOT A TROPE REVERSAL! Aiden, walking up to Natasha, slips in one of the puddles of water, quote "making some weird sounds as i try to steady myself, flailing my arms, positive im about to kiss the floor" (DWEEB lmao) when Natasha catches him from falling (and it's emphasized her hands are rough and calloused from years of work)

-THEY BOTH FALL AND SLIP N SLIDE ACROSS THE FLOOR TOGETHER AND HE HUGS HER SO SHE DOESN'T HIT HER HEAD 🥺

-it's touching and meeting her eyes for the first time that finally jolts the mate bond. Hearing him describe the mate bond is such a huge green flag all around. "It's like I've been asleep all this time and I just woke up, experiencing the greatest joy I've ever felt in my life" like he loves the bond and he loves her so much and he doesn't know her name. I know sometimes the mate bonds can be creepy but there's also something so pure about the love you know 🥺 when everything goes right anyways

-"I knew that I would absolutely die for this woman. In seconds, this woman became essential to my entire being. I was existing but I wasn't alive, now im living, finally I'm whole" 😭❤️😭❤️😭❤️😭❤️ and then he notices she's crying in fear and she has bruises and instantly asks who did it to her. NOW KILL HER PACK BRO DO IT DO IT DO IT--

-BRUH no hate but the female narrator, the voice she uses for Aidens wolf, Leo, way too deep, she just sounds like she's about to try and make the Grudge a-a-a-a broken neck sound. Listening to Leo speak is literally cracking me tf up

-Dumbass fucking Camilla steps forward, "oh your eminence, she's just so clumsy :) she trips and falls all the time, isn't that right Natasha" and Aiden lets Natasha walk away as he vows he's going to find out what's going on and take her away

-yall uh Natashas wolf is actually fucking useless. Natasha herself says her wolf barely ever even speaks to her and Natasha is like "do you think we can trust him as our mate" and this depressed fucking mutt deadass responds "no one has ever loved us and no one ever will" YOURE SUPPOSED TO BE HER FRIEND AND PROTECTOR? Honestly Natasha is a better person than me bc I would've started hating this wolf already. Its your fault Natasha gets treated like this you cowardly fucking oreo

-Aiden starts calling her '"Nala" which is Swahili for present/gift because "you are my gift, my everything"

-maaaaan so usually you guys know depending on the circumstances that I'm not a real big fan of the removal of consent in some of these stories but we got a green flag kidnapper right here. Aiden is outside with Natasha about to take her away and she's like "can't you just reject me here? You don't have to take me somewhere" and starts TELLING HIM "no you don't want me, I'm cursed, I am not worthy of love" and Aiden is just like "ok well, im really sorry but you're really not going to like this" and just. Scoops her up and prepares to kidnap her (GOOD) but they keep talking and she agrees to give him a chance (but he can tell she doesn't trust him and has some kind of plan and is probably going to run away when his backbis turned)

-Aiden is about to drive off with Natasha when Mateo, fucking cuck runs up "actually I lied, Natasha is still my mate, I didn't reject her" you absolute fucking liar. This absolute fucking moron has the gall to tell Aiden to his face "I already have a woman as my Luna but I didn't reject Natasha so she could have a place to stay, a cursed wolf isn't good enough for you, you dont deserve that BITCH" TRANSITION INTO AN INSTANT ASS BEATING

-except Natasha is too much of a good woman and saves Mateo from getting hurt before Aiden hurts him that badly :/ gdi girl. He's literally been sexually assaulting and beating you. Idiot. Idiot. Absolute idiot. Nevermind, Mateo is correct Aiden IS too good for her. This dumb bitch actually starts up this "you're just the same as them, solving things with violence. This is MY fight" like obviously no it is not, you literally had a perfect escape plan put right in front of your face coupled with the opportunity to teach your abusers a lesson and you went "🥺 no I can't trust anyone I'll just flee into the night with no food or money or place to go" like obviously you were never intending to fight anything you were just going to run. Like I'm actually getting fucking furious she has the gall to talk to Aiden like this when she's literally been paraded around naked

-"no one has ever helped me or looked out for me so why would I trust you" idk maybe because it's literally your fucking destiny and within 5 seconds of meeting you he very quite literally said "I don't care if this pack bring in the most money in the country, I WILL burn it to the ground for whats been done to her" like you actual fucking moron Natasha, you are bringing me physical fucking pain like girl he's literally being morw supportive of you than your wolf

I'm at work right now and my earbuds died so I can't listen to any more while they're charging but, it's a pretty interesting story so far! I dunno if I'll listen to the end since it's over 100 chapters and that very easily gets expensive but, I'll stay tuned for now and share any juicy details with you guys :) I still have to finish my post about The Silent Alpha because oh my god guys that shit is getting WILD

[tarsomere]

Heya say your latest post about the sunstone fics and just wanted too say you shouldnt worry so much about accidently 'copying' others! Creating is about having fun and if you get inspiration from others than so what you still made something different and unique even if it doesnt feel like it. Because anything you make is unique too you and therefor already worthwhile! And you def shouldnt let that stop you from reading fics if thats something you enjoy!

Plus its really a 'holy shit two cakes' situation cuz ppl are going to like the fics purely cuz holy shit more Sunstone! lol

(Also I would volunteer to read them but uh I dont read fics as often as I should so idk how much id be able to help with the accidental dialouge concern woops)

Thank you for reaching out; this is a good reminder. It’s funny, because I fully believe in “steal like an artist” in the sense that every new idea humans come up with is going to be a mashup of other, preexisting ideas because we’re always building on what came before. And fics from any given fandom will inherently share even more commonalities. I guess I’m just self-conscious because the imposter syndrome is real and I don’t want to step on any toes, even if by accident.

I am still looking for a beta reader, but at this point it’s more for characterization and the overall story/plot for me. Dialogue at least can be checked with find and scrolling, but I just got really worked up about it after I created a scenario entirely in my own head and convinced myself it was true so I got stuck on my anxiety scary-go-round for a minute. Yay fun times with mental illness

But yeah I have 3 Sunstone WIPS that are aaalmost there. One of them isn’t even smut! But the one closest to done is a 7,000+ word(why am i like this) PWP darkfic lmao

[honeybear-yammy]

Under The Mistletoe

Warnings: cursing, drinking, oral sex, sex, soft!JJ

Pairings: JJ Maybank x Female Reader

Summary: In which Y/N and JJ have their first kiss under the mistletoe which leads to Y/N having soft sex with JJ.

Author's Note: I know it's not Christmas anymore but, I'm still re-posting some of my old fics so lmao.

© Honeybear-Yammy, please do not steal, translate, copy, or transfer my work.

You sipped your drink scanning the room. You were at a Christmas eve party but you were alone. Well, you did come with your friends but all of your friends seemed to have their lover with them kissing or dancing or snuggling.

You were usually ok with being single. You did enjoy just being able to have hook ups when you felt like it but, when the holidays came around it did make it harder sometimes. It just seemed like everyone has someone special to spend the holidays with.

Sarah had John B, Pope had Kiara, and JJ.. well he was single too but he always had a hook up. You and JJ were the only single ones in your group and you couldn’t lie… you had liked him for so long.

For one JJ Maybank is the hottest guy in Outer Banks and every girl agreed with you on that, he was just… so fucking gorgeous. He also had a great sense of humor and he was super sweet and he always had your back and protected you.

He had every quality you were looking for in a boyfriend. He is the perfect boy. None of your relationships had worked out in the past, then again, none of your boyfriends were JJ Maybank. That’s why you just stuck to hook ups now until you found that special someone.

And you swore that the special someone you were looking for was JJ but, you didn’t think he liked you back. He could literally get any girl he wanted no problem. Girls practically threw themselves at JJ Maybank.

You continued to scan the room. You were looking for JJ. He was your best friend out of everyone you knew. He has been since the 3rd grade. After you and JJ met, the two of you have been inseparable since.

You spotted JJ getting a drink on the other side of the room. You smiled and walked over to him. You figured since you were single and didn’t have a special someone to spend the holidays with, why not spend them with your best friend.

“Oh hey y/n.” JJ said with a smile when he saw you.

“Hey J.” You chuckled. “What are you up to?” You asked.

“Not much. Debating on whether I should get a hook up or not.” He said. Of course that was what he was thinking about, sex.

“I see.” You said with a chuckle. “I have been thinking about that myself too.” You said.

“You have?” He asked corking a brow. You were confused on why he sounded instantly jealous when you said what you said.

“Yeah.” You chuckled.

“Oh, ok.. actually come here.” JJ said. He took your hand and led you somewhere. You followed him confused. He stopped in a random spot in the room. It didn’t seem like there was anything special around so you were not sure why he brought you here.

“Why are we here JJ?” You asked.

“Well.. we are now under a mistletoe.” JJ said with a smirk. You looked up to see the mistletoe right above your heads.

“I- oh.” You said with a chuckle.

“And it is a Christmas law to kiss under the mistletoe.” He said.

“Since when have you been a law abiding citizen?” You laughed.

“Well if it means I get to kiss you then… I would follow that law.” He said.

“I- you want to kiss me?” You asked shocked.

“Of course I want to kiss you. Why wouldn’t I want to?” He asked.

“I just- does this mean you have some type of feelings for me?” You asked.

“Well yeah.. honestly I’ve had a crush on you since the 3rd grade.” He admitted.

“Really?” You asked, a smile started to spread across your face.

“Yeah.. but I understand if you don’t like me ba-” Before he could finish, you cut him off by pulling him in for a kiss. The two of you kissed under the mistletoe for a few minutes before you pulled back.

“So.. I am guessing you feel the same way?” He asked with a smirk.

“Of course I feel the same way JJ.” You giggled. JJ smiled and kissed you again then when he pulled back you looked into his eyes to see that they had darkened with lust.

“I want to show you how much I like you, if that’s ok with you of course.” He said.

“I- that’s perfect.” You stuttered a little, feeling yourself getting wet already. JJ smirked and picked you up carrying you upstairs away from the party. You giggled as he gently tossed you onto the bed before closing the door.

He walked to the end of the bed and immediately started to pull your dress off your body. You giggled as he threw your dress on the floor somewhere. You helped him pull his top off. He tugged off his pants so now he was just in his boxers and you were just in a matching lacy red set.

“Fuck you’re so sexy.” He said. You giggled as he got on top of you and began to kiss you passionately. You smiled into the kiss as he unclipped your bra. He only pulled away from the kiss for a moment to throw your bra on the floor then kissed you again.

You whimpered as he began to kiss your neck, gently biting your skin sometimes. He kissed down your neck to your chest. He began to suck on your left nipples while he massaged your right breast. Then after a few minutes he switched from left to right.

He trailed wet kisses down your stomach then tugged off your panties. He tossed your panties somewhere then spread your legs. You whimpered as he slowly kissed up your inner thighs. You whined and tried to pull him closer to your core.

“Be patient baby.” JJ said.

“Please.. stop teasing.” You whined. “I want you so badly.” You said.

“I know.. I can tell by how wet you are.” He said with a smirk as he licked a strip up your folds making you whimper. He smirked and then dived in. He began to suck on your bud making you moan out.

You put your hands threw his hair and rested your head back on the pillow. He then unexpectedly bit your clit gently making you gasp and jump a little. He smirked seeing what he touch was doing to you.

He kept eating you out and you kept getting louder as you slowly got closer to your high. JJ then shoved two fingers into you’re core making you gasp. He thrusted into you and sucked on your clit at the same time. He was so fucking good at eating you out.

After a few minutes you felt a knot start to grow in your stomach and you clenched around his fingers.

“You gonna cum baby?” He asked. You nodded and whimpered as your response. He smirked and kept going. “Then cum for me.” He said. With that your legs began to tremble as you came on his fingers and tongue.

He pulled his fingers out of you and took his mouth away from your clit. You whimpered from loss of contact.

“You’re so fucking needy for me.” He said with a smirk. You bit your lip as you watched him pull his boxers off, his cock slapped against his stomach as he pulled them off. He pulled on a condom. He hovered over you and aligned his dick with your entrance before pushing into you gently.

You gasped and moaned out as he thrusted in and out of you. He was gentle with you. The soft sex he was giving you was giving you euphoria. You wrapped your arms around his neck and locked your legs around his waist.

You moaned out and threw your head back. He took the opportunity to start kissing your neck again now that he had full access to your neck. He left hickies all over the soft skin on your neck, just making you moan out louder.

You felt that familiar knot bubbling in your stomach again. You clenched around his cock, signaling to him that you were close.

“You gonna cum again pretty girl?” He asked.

“Fuck yes I’m gonna cum!” You moaned out. He smirked and reached down to rub your clit, rubbing it at the same pace he was fucking you at.

“Come on, cum for me baby.” He groaned out. With that your legs began to tremble and you saw stars as you came on his cock. He kept thrusting into you for a few more minutes until he came as well. He pulled out of you and took the condom off throwing it in the trash.

You were laying there catching your breath. He laid down beside you and you snuggled into his side. He smiled and held you close.

“We can’t lay up here forever. John B, Kiara, Pope, and Sarah are going to start to wonder where we went, they might already be wondering actually.” You said.

“Well then let them find us.” He said with a smirk.

“I- JJ!” You chuckled and playfully hit his shoulder. “You really want our friends to find out that you just fucked me?” You asked with a chuckle.

“Why not.” He smirked. You chuckled and shook your head.

“JJ Maybank, what am I going to do with you?” You laughed.

“The question you should be asking is, what am I going to do with you.” He smirked. Right then you knew he was hinting for a round two, and you were 100% down for that.

Author's Note: tysm for reading!

[soupbabe]

Silver Lining: Part 3

Carolyn and Maggie argue.

Didn't think I'd actually continue the series but hehe it's happening 👁️👁️ I love coming back to Silver Lining sm I hope y'all like this as much as I do <3

Warnings: Angsty, has some comfort tho so it's not that bad, Maggie is very kinda stupid this chapter lmao

Parts: One, Two

Tagging: @rottent33th, @slaasherslut, @the-pinstriped-hood, @devil-doll13

For a week Maggie has been watching over Carolyn. Her arrival has been all that she could think about. From Bo telling her that they'd be sharing a room to Carolyn throwing insults at the twins at every chance she got, Maggie's been there for all of it. Everyday the blonde will see the goth quietly seethe on her bed. Sometimes Maggie would gaze at her and wonder what she's thinking about.

Another escape plan? How long her scrapes and bruises will heal? Maybe her family is on her mind. What if she's not thinking about anything at all? Just completely dissociated from the world.

Sighing, Maggie knocks on the door to her own room. "Carolyn? It's me Maggie. I got some food for you." After a muffled "come in," Magnolia shuffled in with a salad and a bag of chips. Handing it off to her, Carolyn set the bowl on her bedside table and opted for the chips instead. "I made it all myself, thought you'd be sick of eating chips and granola bars every day." Maggie laughed half-heartedly, trying to lighten the mood. The other woman just avoided eye contact and didn't respond, choosing to open up her food instead.

At her silence, Maggie responds with a tight lipped smile. Sitting down next to Carolyn, the blonde talks once more. "Are you alright? I know it's rough adjusting here, but I promise you it gets easier." Carolyn visibly stiffens as the words hit her ears. Scowling, she spoke up. "I'm not here to get comfortable. I need to get home."

"As much as I'd like for that to happen, I don't think it will. Vince and Bo would kill you before that happens." Carolyn noticed her tone getting darker, more sorrowful. It made her raise her brow, "Why were you so adamant about letting me live, but you're giving up once I actually need to leave?" She inquired. Maggie was taken aback at what Carolyn was implying. "I'm just being realistic. I see people come in and not making it out all the time. No one here dies a peaceful death, you should still be greatful."

The goth scoffs and gets off of the bed. "Greatful for what? Basic human decency? You don't get a pat on the back for saying that killing is wrong. I thought I could trust you, I thought I found someone normal. But you're fucking sick like everyone else around here." She raises her voice and spits the last words out like venom. Maggie stands up and sizes up Carolyn, looking her up in the eye. "I ain't sick. I ain't like my brothers. Don't compare me to them!" Her fists are clenched by her sides as she takes in a deep breath.

"Are you fucking kidding me?! If you swear you're sooo much better than them then why am I still fucking here?" Carolyn narrows her eyes, fuming as she continues. "Instead of pretending to be nice and playing hero, why can't you actually be useful. Call 911, steal a car- fucking do something, Magnolia." Maggie sneered, "I consider myself plenty useful because you're not on Vincent's table right now. I've been nothing but nice to you. I keep giving you food even when you refuse to eat everything I give you, I've given you clothes, hell, I've been sleeping on the floor for days so you can be comfortable..Now I know my brothers better than you ever will, and if you try anything of that sort, I know they will try to put a bullet in through your head."

A brief silence falls between the girls and Carolyn backs away from her slowly, her brown eyes wide and looking away from Magnolia. The other's tone shifts to something more sympathetic, but stern. "I do what I can. If I do more for you then I risk losing everything I have. I never got out of here, what makes you think you can too." Carolyn takes in a deep breath, holding back tears. "I have nothing to lose. No one knows where I am and frankly I don't think they care I'm here either. All I needed was time away from other people, to be alone and at peace. And I'm not getting that here."

Blue eye's follow Carolyn's lanky figure back to her bed. Her hands stay in her lap as she avoids eye contact. Maggie's face relaxes and her tone softens fully. "...I'm sorry for lashing out like that. I understand what it's like, but I mean what I said. Leaving ain't easy. I said it all because I'm concerned about you. You don't deserve all of this." There's another moment of silence before Carolyn finally responds. She chokes out a sob as more tears begin to fall. "You can't be serious.."

Hesitantly, Maggie sits down beside her once more. The softness of her palm gently caresses her back. "If I could find a way to get us out of here, I would do it in a heartbeat. It took a good while for me to adapt to this lifestyle too. You're not alone in this." Carolyn soon leans into her touch and soon her whole body. Maggie takes her other hand and her fingers links with the other woman's deep sepia-toned fingers.

The two sit together, the only noise filling up the room was Carolyn's sobs. Maggie gazes upon her in pity, what overcomes her is an odd sense of deja vu. She's been through this before, but it's different this time around. Lester and Vincent never stayed around her for too long during her ugly moments. She frowns and holds Carolyn closely, resting her head on top of hers for as long as she needs it.

[crushed-starlight]

welcome back to me stealing ideas from @about-the-two-of-us !!

todays episode: i might turn this into a more general digital diary about my social life, rather than focusing so much on crushes. ysee this is what happens when i have to spend a whole half-day without meadow lmao

anyway !! here’s updates :D

meadow went away for the weekend to visit a friend :(( so we couldn't hang out BUT before their train we still went to class together and made jokes about the place they’re visiting and they left their snacks in my bag so i got to see them briefly again to give them back right before they left n we hugged goodbye at the place we first hung out aaaa

that was last weekend, n since then a ton of wild lore has happened !! its been literally 4 days how is any of this real.

monday evening jiji and odie hung out in my dorm and watched some youtube videos from a channel that odie and i rly like that we're trying to introduce jiji to !! those two r always so kind to me im rly glad i have them as friends rn. otherwise the stuff w meadow would be way more taxing i think

tuesday evening i went over to meadow's place after class !! i played a game they introduced me to (they like backseat gaming for this one hehe) and he gave me tons of tips on how to get a good build n i ended up getting further than i ever have before on my last run of the evening !!

and on wednesday (yesterday) meadow and i went on a mini shopping trip after class, then went back to their dorm again for a mini movie marathon !! we got through the first 2 hunger games movies since i hadn't seen them before and meadow is hype to watch the new one that just came out. i rly enjoyed them !! not my favorites ever but i can totally see what the hype is about. and for bonus points, one of my 2 best friends from before uni ,, we'll call them fish (new character alert !!) watched them too super recently so i can talk to them abt it !! fish is the coolest and im gonna be around them more this winter since i'm goin back to their town for a while :D but fr meadow and i watched the first 2 movies in his bed under the covers :,D not quite cuddling bc im a COWARD but squished up next to each other sharing snacks :3 thats still a win in my book !!

aaaaaaaaaaand then came earlier today >< i had a class with goose which was fun but she dipped after that to go study and i walked home alone. when i got back meadow started messaging me that someone they met on their weekend away (a friend of a friend) was messaging them n theyre DOWN BAD. they were GUSHING TO ME AND ITWAS TORTURE i am in actual hell !!!!!!!! turns out hearing ur crush gush about their crush ,, kinda hurts your soul in a way that you feel !! the conversation ended but now im thinkin i should rly confess soon just to save myself the trouble ;; idk how long its healthy to stay in friendship limbo like this.