#i should force myself asleep so i dont get put to bed like a fucking toddler

[flamingo--ing]

truly. i dont feel well.

[velvetporcelain]

Why do I live life so detailed? 🤔

does our pace in life determine what details we pay attention too and what ones we do not?

is our mental health crisis due to the lack of knowledge one has about oneself?

or is it due to the complete lack of understanding we have for the human mind. is everything just a really good observation by trained human eyes?

what about spiritual details? is it hard for some people to believe that the spirit is what keeps us alive? more so than anything? I can see my spirit and it looks very much like the higher image that I have created of myself in my mind. Put together by random life experiences and feelings, thoughts all glued with ideology.

how do we pick and choose what is real? who studies how we behave? who watches our habits? do you think it is odd that the government regulates everything that kills humans? like tobacco and alcohol mostly. but I find it can present a number of rabbit holes for me to drop down. I love me some rabbit holes. It's like using your imagination all over again. I love improving in my rants. Really eccentric thinking.

I dont ever think I could write a movie though. My bits are short and impromptu. if I forced myself to think of an entire movie script I think I would die. Wow talk about writers deserve more money. LOL what stress they have. Nah, I want to remain free writing and free thinking while I can.

I consider a tray full of cookies and some weed foreplay and maybe this is why I live life so detailed. so wild. so deeply. I'm having flashbacks of my past life as a delicate, renaissance woman, one with very pale skin, and I hated the king. I hid in the spiraling brick stairs, wondering if I were to ever find something that could match me if life would zero out on me?

and you see-

that's a problem with me. well, because-

I always want to think of myself as someone impossible to match, because that is my go to comfort thought when I am feeling rejected. And I really believe this now that I have been carving it in the caves of my mind like hieroglyphics.

what if I'm actually abusing my feelings? what if I have never experienced anything truly detrimental to my psyche or emotions? these are the things I am terrified of. I don't want to feel spoiled in my emotions. I am afraid to love sometimes.

I was always confused how people could believe so deeply in go and in heaven, yet they are almost always afraid to die. Me? I am afraid of life. And it is something in my mind I rarely speak of. I can easily look at the enduring side of things. It makes me angry because I have learned enough of life to understand, or compute the questions I still have, or fears that hide within me. No one wants to learn the hard way.

--- so who is making it hard for us? anything that doesn't kill us, kills us slowly. you can see it in our thought patterns and the way we hold onto something so unimportant. we hold onto things and let it kill us, because it makes us feel something in a world that is numb.

we always did seemed to be most awake after death is involved. in any aspect. war is a good example. civilians have no fucking clue or give the slightest fuck what the military does to the mind. they are just asleep in their beds peacefully. sick. we didnt care about the severity year genocide in Israel until death was plastered all over the news. fuck dude. why is the media death hungry?

I bet any seasoned news watcher would tell my seven year old he shouldn't be playing games that involve death, but be perfectly okay to counteroffer with watching the news. but what about the modern day news watchers? do you think that they are faired that we will lose faith in the news? The newer the generation, the less the faith? how did we get here? LOL

I have been regulating the information my boys are receiving on their devices. As I think it should be. But then again, if we hid the information, how would they react to seeing it casually night after night on the evening news as they age? does there brain act in disgust and astonishment? Or if they were aware of death early, would it act in a more "shoulder shrugging" passive way? Now? death is completely normal. They fucking made a five nights at Freddie's and they made it PG 13. Kids are playing with murderous, animatronics and it's seems to be completely acceptable by society. I realized this when they started coming out with cool tees and stuffed animal pals of the killing machines. is this how capitalism works? haha- no seriously---

where is this invisible playbook for humans?

do you think our constitution is interpreted the same way we interpret the Bible because of it's age and word choices and meaning, and their ideology at the time it was written? Has anyone ever thought of this? like I'm impressed by this question, and I would consider it a very honest question. it's two thousand and twenty three. can it be misinterpreted with the modern advances in our ideology as an existing race? How could they have possibly planned or accounted for our intellectual advancements?

does it really stay the same? is this why history keeps repeating itself too?

My last cigarette of the night has been well enjoyed. I thought about a lot today. I look forward to thanksgiving and the break that comes with it.

You know-

Where I get to teach them the death of all the Indians and how we gathered together and killed a big turkey and wiped the blood off our hands and hand shook the terror away.

Okay I’m done. 🤘✨🕊️😆

-x

[bloodycassian]

** PT 2 Azriel x reader - enemies to acquaintances PT 2. ** - reader gets a backstory, they clear another enemy camp together and bond more. Azriel apologizes. 

Slight TW for violence/domestic abuse mention. Trying to keep reader as genderless as possible but sometimes I inherently switch to using woman POVs- asks still very open ;)

+++++++++++++++++++++++++

"It seems I owe you an apology." Rhys began, pacing at the end of the makeshift bed the healers had set up for you. Your stomach rolled with nerves. His tone was not genuine, and you could feel the tension rolling off him in waves. The healers buzzing nearby suddenly found different things to do.

 Azriel and Cassian stood at the edge of the canopy, the drizzle of rain making their armor shine. "Azriel informed me of your injury- I'm impressed with your bravery." He smiled, his dark eyes making him look like a snake. 

You glanced to the shadowmaster, who nodded the slightest amount. "Did you receive my message from him?" You asked, and when he had a genuine wide grin - showing almost too many teeth - it gave you chills.

"I did in fact. I wish the same to you." He said with that deadly calm. Cassian tried to hide his laugh, Azriel remained stonefaced. "Let's take this to the war tent. Whenever you are...suitable." he glanced to your wing, still stained with crusted dry blood. 

You felt your cheeks heat slightly, and nodded. He strode out from the healers canopy and into the rain without a look back. The generals followed him, Azriel glancing back to you only for a second. 

+

Once you had mustered the strength to get out of the cot, you thanked your healers. They insisted on giving you healing potions before you departed. And tried to get you to promise to come back for a check in daily. Mobility tests, stretches and strength building. You gave them loose affirmations and took the potions without putting up too much of a fight, given that the wing still ached slightly. Two days of rest had done a lot for the healing process, but it would take at least a week before it was fully healed. 

The short walk to the war tent was cold as the mist of rain poured down. Many of the soldiers were inside or drunkenly asleep in the mud. Sitting around and waiting was not an ideal situation with a thousand males ready to fight all around. 

You pushed open the tent, shaking out your jacket on the pelt rug. Earning a scowl from the high lord, seated at the head of the table again. "This one tells me you were a sight to see in the skirmish." He said, gesturing to the shadow master. 

You glanced to Azriel, his face was blank but his cheeks had gone a duskier shade of brown. "But maybe I took that the wrong way, and what he meant was that you were a disaster, considering someone managed to put a hole in to your wing." He laced his fingers together in front of him. You curled your lip at him, ready to tell him to get his ass out there and do it himself then. 

Before you could, Azriel turned to the high lord, opening his mouth to protest but he was quickly silenced by Rhysand's dagger like eyes. The shadowmaster pressed his full lips together tightly. Looked to his feet, as if in shame. It made your head thrum with adrenaline filled rage. Rhysand - the most powerful high lord in history - coudlnt get off his ass to take care of some second class Attors himself? Perfect. Just your luck. Being hired out like the hundreds of your kind before you, only it was worse because you weren’t even getting any gold from it.

"We now have a bigger force than originally planned coming directly at us." He said softly, a dark wind organizing enemy pawns on the table to show where they spread out. how they had your forces stuck against a wall of mountains.

 "Because you were brave enough to somehow miss the group of Attors flying away..." He glared those snake eyes at Azriel again, then Rhys let out a bitter laugh. He was upset, understandably so. You could admit that. But it wasn't your fault he decided not to believe you in the first place. 

You glanced to Azriel. His face was grave as his high lord tore into both of you with a tone of a disappointed parent. Like your parent. The thought of your father made your jaw clench, your teeth grind together as you fought to not begin screaming at Rhysand.

"The two of you will see to it that this is taken care of." He took a breath, gesturing to the pawns on the table. "There is a ravine to the west of here-" His dark gifts had the pawns lifting in the air. A fist of fear clenched your stomach. You had forgotten just HOW powerful he was.

"If you cut off the bridges their advancement will be paralyzed. We then may be able to regroup and massacre our way through this group here-" He pointed to the north, a smaller force lay there. Without the flanking force able to be a threat behind you it would work. Your strategist mind flushed out the plan.

 "I expect you both to fix this - as you both caused this issue. I want it done before dawn comes." The pawns he held in the air turned to dust on the table, making a neat pile before the dark lines that indicated the ravine. Hitting his point home, in a non subtle way you supposed. Arrogant cock of a high lord.

"It will work, Rhys." Cassian said softly. He glanced to Azriel. His eyes were pinned to your wing. Your stomach flipped, you glared at Rhys. Before you could call out his plans' faults - or how terribly he was treating you and your considerable 200 units in his army- you saw Cassian shaking his head slightly at you. He rested a hand on Rhys' shoulder. The gesture stood out. The cocky high lord had a sensitive side, perhaps. Your lip curled at the thought.

As if sensing your disgust with him, Rhysand's lip curled "Now get out." He said, voice low and gravely. Cassian gestured for you and Azriel to follow him out. Rhysand reminded you so much of your own father it made you want to spit. A territorial, abusive cock without enough dignity to spare your family name.

You took a deep breath of cold air, hoping to clear your mind. It did little to shake the tension in your shoulders, or the stiffness in your jaw. Making a mental checklist of the weapons you needed to bring, you noticed Azriel following you. Or seeming to.

The shadow singer stalked past your tent, going to the west where the bridges were. "What are you doing?" You asked, jogging to catch up with him. He was already fording through the tall shrubs and grasses by the time you caught up. 

"Taking care of it. I can fix it myself." He growled. You tried to keep up with him, but the jostling was upsetting your injury. 

You put a hand on his shoulder, "Wait, hey." He shrugged you off, scoffing to himself. "I should have gone alone in the first place. I dont understand why he had to send you." He muttered, stalking deeper into the forest. The rain didn't reach you here, under the darkening shadows and mist.

Rage erupted inside you at his words - and you called out the only thing you could think of that might stop him. If he wanted to fight he could damn well stop and have an actual fight with you. "I guess you are just like all the other Illyrians after all." Your blood rushed in your ears, seeming to dampen the sound of everything. The dull hiss of the rain hitting the trees above was barely audible. 

He stood rigid, wings flaring over his shoulders, growing larger with the shadows writing around them. "Do you even have a clue what real Illyrians would do to you right now if you were talking to them like this? What a normal male would do?" He was close. Too close for comfort. Too close to not be fighting or fucking. 

"Considering my father was a very real Illyrian, yes" He stuttered at that. You'd never seen him do such a thing. It would have been funny if that angry set of his features didnt come back. You were ready for more fighting, more yelling but his face went slack, and his eyes met yours finally. They were no longer the cold dark color like in the tent with Rhysand. They were a hazel that matches the warm colors of pine bark in summer. Your heart clenched at the sight of it.

"You're like the Peacemakers, then." He muttered, referencing the old tales of mighty warriors with mixed breeding. Unfortunately a lot of that breeding was not willing. It usually never was, and it had ruined two generations of Illyrian and Peregyn pairings. "Axios was always my favorite." He smiled at the memory. You bit your lip, remembering the true stories of each hero. Not the bastardized verisons peddled throughout the realm.

The offspring became ostracized and cast out of most communities. On Prythian and on the continent. The ones who survived long enough to become trainable though were given the name Peacemakers for a reason. Known for hired bloodletting, no questions asked. 

"I hope your end is not met like theirs." He seemed to shudder at the thought. All the anger boiled out of you at his concern. 

You felt the shame begin to creep up around you. You had sold your services to make ends meet at times. It always left you with a sickening feeling in your gut after. As if the Mother herself was disappointed. "You can help that not happen." You said softly, voice barely audible. If you weren't so deep into the forest you doubted even his shadows could have heard you. "I need.. I need to find my father." Your voice trembled, he approached you slowly. Like he was approaching a wild animal. 

"It might seem-" He began coaxing, holding a hand out to you. Just like he had the other night. A question, a temptation. 

"I know your pain, shadowsinger." You took his hand, letting him lead you to a fallen tree. The soft moss growing on it was a welcome seat after walking for so long following him into the woods. "He would beat my mother and would pluck her feathers." You were grateful for your mother every second she put into resisting his influence for you. For keeping him at bay until you grew enough to be sent to the Peregryn camps for training. She never revealed your cross breeding, only that you had your wings and could use them well. Only because she had taught you. 

Azriel was quiet for a long moment, his shadows moving slowly like waves around your ankles together. "I'm - sorry.. .about your mother. I didn't know." He whispered, pausing and cursing to himself. "I can help you find him. We can look, but we need to get through those enemy lines first. I need you to help me do that." He grasped your hand lightly, as if asking.

 "Lets slice some attor, I guess." You sniffed, the cold making your nose run. At least, you blamed it on that.

+

The camp was mostly asleep by the time you got there. Under the cover of nightfall you were able to silently end most of the Fae that lurked in the camp. With everything going so smoothly, your heart lurched at the sight of Azriel falling backwards, a calling horn in his hand. His siphons flared, and it shattered. But left his siphons dull. He winced as he rolled out of the winging range of a fellow Illyrian with a flail in one hand and a mace in the other.

"Traitorous bastard." Azriel grappled with the Illyrian commander, but they were evenly matched. They knew all the same moves, sparring and sword wise. You launched yourself through the scattered bodies lining the clearing, dodging over puddles of blood and forgotten weapons. The commander had Azriel in a hold that had his wings flipped outward, and the male took the opportunity. He pressed his boot against Az's back and pulled them backward, bending them father than was natural. You roared, not bothering to waste the time to draw your weapon. 

You barreled into him, Azriels hands still reaching backwards to claw at his hands. He toppled over a stack of bodies, yanking you down with him. You scrambled away from him, hands clambering for any weapon. By the time you turned back around to face him, Azriel had already put him on his knees before you. Bending the males wings back just as he had done to the shadow singer.

Your borrowed blade went through his throat, pinning him to the ground as he kneeled. He looked like a statue in the position.  

You spat on the body. "Dont touch wings, asshole." You muttered. Azriel stared at you, as if in shock. You picked up a better looking sword from the ground nearby, wiping it on the cloth inside of your armor sleeve. "What?" You asked. Azriel seemed stunned silent. He seemed shocked in place. After you were sure there were no rogues readying to flee or informants spying, You took a breath, returning to him where he still stood beside the body of the commander.

You pointed back at the winged body speared to the ground behind him. Smiling, you titled the pose. "A prayer to the mother." His eyes went somehow even wider. 

Then he broke out in laughter. You couldnt help but join him, the high of battle making you both delirious. You laughed at his laugh, the stupid face he made laughing back at you. Laughed at the half spoken words that were cut off by more breathless giggles. 

Your sides ached by the time you both sat around the enemy fire, enjoying their spoils of war from a nearby town. The roasted duck smelled particularly good. Azriel heated a pot of tea over the coals, throwing in fresh pine needles from a tree nearby. 

"You know-" He handed you your cup of tea. It was warm in your palm, but his hands were still somehow hotter than the boiling water. He blew on his cup, the steam not going much farther than what his shadows allowed. They seemed to almost play in it. "I am sorry about your mother. I understand why you regard some of us with such...distaste." He put the lid back on the pot and took it off the fire. He looked so natural doing...normal things. Not just posturing for his court and killing. 

You nodded in thanks, not needing too many words with him. "She fled the week after I was formally invited to train in the Peregryn ranks. He found her, and killed her for leaving him. My court holds no rules against such things. He hasn't suffered for it." Your voice shook at the end. "Yet, that is. This.." You gestured to the battlefield, the bodies behind you. "This is just along the way. Killing him will be my destiny. My retribution for my mother." You sipped your tea, letting the burn of it sink in. You hoped it would warm your insides.

"I miss my mother as well." He said, taking a gingerly sip of his tea. He stretched his wings, you could tell by the hesitant way he folded them back in that they pained him. You made a mental note to give him one of your healing potions when you returned to camp.

You sat in silence with him until that fire burned out, and only dull coals were left.

+

"I'm glad you both seemed to have fun. Is the camp clear?" Cassian hissed, following you to the war tent. You sipped your mead, nodding. "Yes, oh strategic one. The bridges are cut too, courtesy of yours truly." You winked at him, making him stop in his tracks. Azriel patted him on the shoulder without a word, then followed you into the tent where Rhys waited. Wrathful or not, you knew he had no rights to tell you off this time. 

Azriel's hazel eyes met your own as you entered the tent together.

[jjmaybankxpogue]

ʀᴏᴤᴇ ᴘᴇᴛᴀʟᴤ || ᴊᴊ ᴍᴀʏʙᴀɴᴋ ᴥ ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ ||

Happy Valentines day ♡

Word Count: 1.6k+

Genre: Fluff and Smut

Warnings: SMUT, gun, unprotected sex, kinky reader & kinky JJ, not proofread

Inspo: “Taking a bath with JJ... can be both fluffy and smutty” -Anon (v-day req)

I walk into my room seeing a bouquet of Roses laying on my bed and JJ walking out of my bathroom...

Just as I'm leaving work I get a text from JJ “are you home soon princess” “yea im getting in my car right now” I replied. 

I walked through the walkway, jiggled my keys into the lock and made my way up to my room. A pretty bouquet of red roses laid on my bed and my blonde boyfriend walked out of my bathroom and came to hug me. His muscular arms wrapped around my lower back loosely, whispering sweet little nothings in my ear as I buried my head in his chest smiling and blushing non stop. He slowly peeled himself off of me and said “the bath is ready”. “Okayyy” I said, dragging the ‘y’ as I was intrigued. He showed me to the bathroom, I walked in and saw a couple candles on the counter and red rose petals floating in the bath. “You gonna come in with me?” i said whispering softly “of course” JJ smiled. JJ got in first and opened his legs, letting me sit between them and lay back on his chest. The warmth and comfort he gave me was incomparable. “Your hair is so soft” JJ said as he gently played with it. I smiled “I didn't think you’d do something romantic” I laughed “dont say im not romantic” JJ said attempting to hold in his laugh “pfft” i rolled my eyes. “Fuck, its valentines day i want you to handcuff me and overstimulate me and do anything you can imagine” i said biting my lip breathlessly after the sentence. JJ began to get hard beneath me, “wow” “yeah uh we can have a bath another night” JJ said rushing me out of the bathtub “Yes, that’d be better” I smirked, drying off and running to my bed.

 “Why your bed when we have this whole house to ourselves all weekend” JJ walked up to me “then follow me” I started towards the door with JJ following closely behind. I later opened the door to my fathers office, turned around and smirked at him. He looks deeply into my eyes “remember how innocent you used to be'' JJ smirks walking into the office “yeah I don't miss it” I say lifting myself up to sit on the desk. JJ places both of his hands on either side of my thighs. I grabbed his shark tooth necklace and pulled him in for a kiss. “My dad would kill me if he found out” I muttered “but he wont'' JJ then silenced me with a kiss. Coaxing me to open my mouth with his tongue teasingly slowly licking my lower lip. I finally gave in, deepening the kiss as I pulled and played with JJs hair. His right hand slithered onto my thigh then slowly traveled up to my neck, choking me in the most perfect way. I let out a soft moan in JJs mouth, he pulled away with a string of saliva connecting to our lips for a split second. “You dirty, dirty girl” he said in a low tone smirking.

“You want it rough you said” I gulped and nodded at him with my eyes silently begging for any form of touch. JJ grabbed my thigh and started massaging it, “Im going to fuck you so good you wont be able to see straight after” “fuck” i moaned in a whispering tone. Without warning the blonde went straight for my neck, kissing, biting, and leaving hickeys all over, I tilted my head back in pleasure as he slowly moved to my collarbone doing the same. “You sound so good,” he praised. He began peppering my bare chest with kisses. He took both my boobs into his rough hands, manipulating them as he sucked on one of my nipples. “oh JJ” I moaned.

Shortly after he dropped to his knees and licked a stripe through the folds of my dripping pussy. His thumb rubbed circles around my clit leaving me a moaning mess already, He never ran short of the ability to please me. JJ inserted two fingers into me and began pumping instantly. I gripped the desk harder prompted by the intense pleasure. “You enjoying it princess?” “Fuck, yes, mhm” I managed to get out, with every pump in and out he went faster, rougher, and harder. “Maybank!” I squealed, squirting onto his fingers as he finally started to penetrate my g-spot. “Ple-ase JJ i n-need you” I moaned “not yet” he said in the most teasing voice I've ever heard. The orgasm that had been crawling up to me finally attacked, becoming invasive over everything, leaving me with no control whatsoever. JJ slowed his movements until they came to a stop alongside my orgasm.

“Lets go to your bed so i can tie you up exactly how you wanted” JJ smirked giving me a hand to hop off the desk. We went straight up to my room, JJ got out the box of things he had hidden in my closet and pulled out the handcuffs. I laid flat on my bed and put my hands above me head for JJ to handcuff me there. “Comfortable?” JJ questioned “yea” “guess what else i brought?” JJ said getting excited “what?” I asked with a slight smirk. He pulled his gun out of his backpack that rested on the floor. I bit  my lip watching JJ walk closer and closer to me with the gun in hand. He got on top of me, hovering over me, caressing my body with the ice cold gun. I looked deeply into his eyes that were bouncing from place to place on my body, soon meeting with mine. “You're so pretty” He admired, I smiled. He aligned himself with my entrance and began to thrust, holding the gun against my temple. “Oh my god you feel so good!” I exclaimed. “You take my cock so well babygirl” JJ said seductively, thrusting faster and faster. Every minute the sex went on he got more verbal, easily pulling more throaty moans from me. My walls clenched around him in the process of my high. “Harder JJ please!” moaned “you gotta beg for it princess” JJ said followed with a groan “I need to feel you destroy m-my insides” I begged. JJ finally gave me what i asked for, i watched as his blonde hair swung back and forth during every thrust.

“JJ right there!” I moaned nearly screaming. JJ’s near orgasm brought him to thrust as fast as he could, pleasing both of us. The room filled with our moans and other noises “Daddy! Oh my god” I said releasing on his dick, a surge of pleasure left me shaking. Although JJ hadn't cum yet he forced himself not to, he loved to see me over stimulated and he couldn't deny it. “JJ f-fuck” I groaned with my eyes rolling back. JJ brought the gun to my mouth so I began to suck on the barrel, enough to send JJ over the edge “fuck Y/n, youre so fucking hot”. JJ’s warm cum shot into me while he was moaning like crazy, I loved the feeling of JJ’s cum coating all my walls and filling me up entirely. Once he finished he pulled out and got a vibrator from the box. He placed it over my swollen clit. With no mercy he turned it to the highest setting, needing to see me lose my mind.

I squirmed around a ton. “JJ p-please its t-too much” I said, tears forming in my eyes “C’mon i know you can take it, you kinky slut” Not long until the over stimulation turned into sheer lust. “JJ fucking Maybank” I let out a loud throaty moan “look at the noises you make from me” JJ teased. He decided to grab my throat, I could feel the cold rings move around until his hand found its perfect place. “JJ I’m gonna cum!” I moaned. I released myself, being overtaken by ecstasy and the shivers of pleasure. “Good girl” JJ praised me. “Now get on your knees”. I was still in my hand cuffs so I got down off the bed with my hands behind my back. JJ grasped my hair and used it to force my head on him. He started bucking his hips making me gag but not enough to be choked. “Fffuck” He moaned in a groggy voice. I pulled back for a breath of air then taking the tip of his cock and going from there but agonizingly slow. He got tired of me teasing him pretty quickly and forced my head on him again.

“Mhm babygirl” JJ groaned sinfully. I looked up at him seeing that he was close to the finish line so I sucked him off even harder. “Fuck you feel so good” He praised moaning once again. “Im gonna c-cum” JJ stuttered in a moan. His white ropes let loose in my mouth, he watched as I swallowed all of it. “You did so good baby” JJ praised. "daddy?” JJ asked recalling what i said earlier “yes uh” I stopped my sentence “you should say that more often” JJ winked. 

“Can we cuddle now?” I asked getting into my bed “of course, and we can watch a movie too” JJ smiled. “Netflix?” I asked “yup” he said. We turned on netflix and picked a random movie but i fell asleep on JJ’s chest 10 minutes through.

Taglist: @tovvaa @freddymaybank @rudypankowswife @jjpouggues @disagreeable_pink  @multisimpinghoe @heysimps

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[brelione]

Henry Bowers (Rafe,Topper,Kelce X Reader)

Warnings:Smut,mentions of bulimia,laxatives,IT 2017 spoilers.

Series Masterlist

Heavy footsteps walked up to your door,turning the knob with a glove covered hand.The footsteps trailed through your house,hearing the screams,laughed and splashing from outside.A large yellow envelope was placed on the kitchen countertop,likcing their lips and taking in a big nervous breath fro they had never been inside your house before.

They knew a lot about you from a certain brunette that spoke so fondly of you,not having anything other to talk about besides how fantastic you were.They should’ve ran out once the task was completed,instead finding themselves jogging up the stairs and ending up in your bedroom.Brown eyes looked around,falling onto a boxed action figure on your dresser,a small smile coming across their soft features.

They saw a bedside table with drawers in it,pouting as they walked over to open the drawers and look through them.A stack of photos,a box of laxatives,colored pencils,spare phone chargers and a handful of tampons.They picked up the stack of photos,looking over to the door every couple of moments as they flipped through them,smiling at the memories that were trapped on the polaroids.There were dates across the bottom of each photo.

In the older ones you appeared empty on the inside,eyes struggling to stay open and a forced smile on your face.The more recent ones were completely different though.Smiling so wide that your eyes squinted,seeming to be more healthy,your eyes holding nothing but joy.Most of the photos didn't even have you in them.Topper appeared in a lot of them,a big goofy grin on his face.In others he looked surprised,not knowing that you were photographing him.

They noticed one thing that really stood out.No parents in the photos,literally nobody outside of the teenage boys.In all of the photos of Kelce he was cooking,smiling or holding you on his shoulders or had you in his lap.The ones with you and Rafe were different though.The one that made them laugh was of Rafe on the floor,your legs on his shoulders to keep him still as you braided his hair,his eyes focused on the tv and not even caring what you were doing.

There were tons of photos from beach days,Rafe wearing sunglasses as he stared down at a triple decker sandwich.The most recent one at the back of the pile was dated a few days ago and was a photo of Topper,asleep on the couch with a bit of drool on his chin,a pillow held tight to his chest in nothing but pajama pants.

They put the photos back where they had originally been,standing up carefully.Thats when they heard the slider door open,cursing under their breath.Water dripped from your hair as you stepped inside your kitchen,Topper close behind you with a towel wrapped around his waist. “I'm cold as hell.”You sighed,pulling the towel over your shoulders,the air conditioning making goosebumps form on your legs.

Rafe closed the slider door,a few water drops falling from his hair and dripping down his nose. “I'm gonna go change,i'll be back.”You told them,going up the stairs slowly,the towel slipping off of you.When you got into the bedroom you sighed,looking at the mess you had made.You looked over the scattered clothes,your eyes finding one of Topper’s sweatshirts that you had taken a few months back when he had slept over.

You peeled the wet t shirt off along with the bathing suit under it,wrapping the wet clothes in the towel before pulling the hoodie over your cold body,sighing at the warm feeling before pulling on a pair of underwear.Little did you know that someone was under your bed,their hand covering their mouth as they hoped you wouldn't hear them.You didnt,leaving your room and shutting the door behind you,going back downstairs.

Your wet hair was making the back of the hoodie wet,you couldn't really feel it through the thick material though. “Hey,(Y/N)?”Topper called out to you as you were about to sit on the couch.You sighed,grabbing your phone and putting it in the pocket of your hoodie.You went into the kitchen,confused as to why they were staring at your countertop.

 “What?”You asked,taking a seat opposite from them,frowning as you saw the envelope. “This wasn't here before.”You looked at your name in sharpie,not sure where it had come from. “I know it wasn't,so why is it here now?”Topper asked.You shrugged,just as clueless as the boys.You opened it,seeing two stacks of twenty dollar bills and a piece of notebook paper. “What the fuck?”Kelce picked up one of the stacks,flicking the green paper.

You pulled out the notebook paper,the message written in blue pen. “Do what you want just dont be mad.You have to live your life and i have to live mine.I can't live my life with you and clearly you don't need me to live yours.I still love you so dont lie and say I don't.I'll pay the bills and shit til you're 23,then you're on your own.You use this money to cover groceries and clothes and whatever,just don't drag me into this.This’ll be the last time you hear from me.Please don't try and talk to me and I won't try and talk to you.”It was rushed,written in big letters to make the page seem more full.

It didn't need a signature for you to know who it came from.At least you didn't have to worry about paying bills and losing your house now.You couldnt believe how fast things were falling apart. “What?What does it say?”Topper asked,coming up behind you to read it over your shoulder.

 “Oh,you’ve gotta be kidding.I hope she gets fucked in the ass with a sword.”You slammed the note down,looking at the stacks of money. “But how’d this get inside the house?Shouldn't it be out in the mailbox?”Rafe asked,going over to your living room window and looking out,eyes widening when he saw the silver car. “Were you expecting someone else?”Rafe asked,gaining your attention.You went over next to him,heart dropping when you saw the car.

 “No-shit!Was the front door unlocked?”You asked Rafe,the last person to come inside.His eyes widened,going over and twisting the doorknob. “Fuck.”He whispered,looking up at the staircase. “Is someone in the house?”Topper asked,his hand immediately going onto your shoulder,almost like a way to protect you. “I dont fucking know?What do we do?Call the cops?”You whispered,looking over to Kelce.Rafe’s eyes widened.

 “Fuck no!Do you know how much shit we have here that we could get in trouble for?”He asked,going back into the kitchen to grab a knife. He was probably talking about the fact that he had hard drugs on him.Either that or he was also hiding a gun in your house.

You wouldnt really be surprised if that were ture at this point.“Hey,hey-the car is backing out!”Topper told you,pulling you back over to the window,seeing the car speed off. “Fucking shit-what if they put cameras in the house?”You asked,locking the door.Rafe licked his lips,putting the knife away and jogging upstairs.He looked into your room,not seeing anything changed.

Topper hugged you tight,telling you to stay calm. “Clearly whoever it was wasn't trying to kill you,they just wanted to leave that here.”As scary as it was he was probably right.But you couldn't help the fear that whoever it was might come back.Clearly they had ties to your mother,maybe even worked for her or something.

Rafe went through your drawers,seeing the stack of polaroids,seeing the box of laxatives next to it. “What the fuck?”He whispered,picking it up to see that it was half empty.He remembered you keeping laxative pills with you all the time during freshman year.

The four of you had gone to the beach and they all wanted to get ice cream and peer pressured you into getting some as well.You had eaten it quickly,excusing yourself to go to the bathroom and sticking three fingers to the back of your throat.You gagged a few times,nothing coming up which caused you to begin to panic.

Your breathing got quick,trying to figure out what to do when you remembered the pills in your pocket,popping five out and swallowing them,sitting on the toilet,tears running down your face as you cursed and hoped that it would come out.

Once the job was done you had let out a loud sigh,wiping yourself clean,your thighs hurting from how long you had been on the uncomfortable toilet seat.You put the bag of pills back into your pocket,leaving the bathroom to see the boys still sitting at a picnic table,waiting for you.

You had went to go back and sit down next to Topper,unaware that the bag was partially hanging out of your pocket.He had noticed it,deciding to pull it out,frowning at the tablets. “What the hell are these?”He asked,shaking the bag back and forth.

Rafe and Kelce looked up,Rafe became intrigued and pulled the bag away,holding the clear material to his palm.He knew that it wasn't xanax or some strange type of pain killer. “Um….those are laxatives...for stomach aches.”You answered,tugging the bag back and putting it back into your pocket.

He stomped down the stairs,box in hand. “Why do you have this?”He asked,holding up the box.Your heart beat sped up at his furious tone,seeing the box,feeling sick.You didnt know why you felt that way,you didn't even have them for a bad reason.Now all eyes were on you and waiting for an explanation,Topper’s arms not so tight.

 “You see….sometimes when i'm on my period I get really constipated so I use those to help myself out.”You explained,feeling yourself getting hot.Rafe bit his lip,nodding while Kelce scoffed. “You use those!Those are so bad for you-you’ll actually shit your pants if you take too much at once.You should drink hot lemon water instead,it's natural and so much better.”He huffed,running a hand through his wet hair.

You just nodded,licking your lips. “You guys will stay here tonight,right?”You asked,hoping that at least Rafe would be able to stay.As much as you loved Top and Kelce they were both pussies most of the time.But then again you were too,you couldn't really be mad at them.Topper frowned,realising that he’d have to head home at some point tonight so that is mom didn't think that he died.Rafe would probably be in deep shit for leaving the party and taking the jetski but he was more worried about you than what his father was going to do to him.

Kelce bit the inside of his cheek,nodding. “I think I can,I have to leave in the morning though.Rafe?”He asked,looking over to the tall boy.Rafe sighed,crossing his arms. “Yeah,I can stay over.”He answered,glancing at the door to make sure that it was locked one more time.

His muscles were flexed,the vein in his forehead sticking out slightly as it always did when he was stressed. “I’m going to go change,you pick a movie.”He picked up the box of laxatives again,going back upstairs.He went into the bathroom,putting on his shirt and boxers,pulling the bag of white powder out of the shorts,staring at it.

He had gotten pissed about the laxatives because you used them to hurt yourself and hurt your health yet he was doing the exact same thing.He stared at it for a while,becoming angry at how bad he was fucking up not only his own life but the lives of everyone else around him.

He jumped when a soft knock came from the otherside of the door,standing up carefully and dropping the little bag onto his shorts,opening the door a crack to see you standing there. “Dude,hurry the fuck up you take like ten years to change.”You huffed,looking up at him.He let out a low,nervous chuckle. “Yeah,sorry.”He muttered,still staring at you.

 “I’ll be down in a minute.”He went to shut the door,only for you to speak again. “You have sweatpants here if you want.”You remembered the loose,soft gray pants in your closet that he had left in your bathroom at the beginning of May.

He licked his lips,slipping out of the bathroom and closing the door behind him.You went into your room,going to open your closet when a thought came to mind. “rafe.”You whispered,making him look up from his boxers,hoping you wouldn't notice his obvious boner.

 “Did you check the closet?”You whispered to him,making his heart drop.Fuck.He grabbed you by the wrist,pushing you behind him,his hand on the closet door knob. “Shit-fuck-okay-okay-3-2-1.”He swung the door open,stepping back quickly,standing in front of you like a human shield. “Oh-oh there’s no one in there.”He calmed down,letting go of you and letting out a loud sigh.

You still gripped his arm,fingernails scratching against his skin,not helping with his boner that you were so close to him.You let out a sigh of relief,stepping forward and reaching up onto the shelves,grabbing the pants that you wore when you were alone sometimes.

THose pants with Topper’s hoodie was probably the best combination ever.You turned to hand them to him,only to find that he was practically pushed up against you. “Did you pick a movie?”He asked,taking the pants that he hadnt seen in a while.You nodded,pushing him back with your pointer finger so you could close your closet door,trying not to watch as he pulled the gray pants up his legs. 

“What movie?”He asked,tying the drawstrings to keep them in place but that didnt help you take your eyes oof of him,able to see the outline in the light material. “IT.”You answered,hopping over your bed and opening your drawer,checking for your polaroids.Thank god whoever had come into your house hadnt taken them.

He chuckled,shaking his head. “Yeah,no.You’re not gonna survive through that,pussy.”He answered,walking out of the room quickly before you could register what he had said to you.You grinned,running down the stairs and chasing after him,eventually getting a grip of his shirt. “Dont run on the stairs,guys!”Kelce shouted,hearing the pounding of footsteps.

Your hand was still tight on Rafe’s shirt,not letting go of him. “You’re giving me those pants back,right?”You asked quietly,letting go of him. “Uhh...these are my pants.”He answered,hands in the pockets.You shook your head. “No,not anymore.”You ended the conversation,slipping past him and going to sit on the couch,stopping to close the living room blinds.

Kelce was sipping a ginger ale in the kitchen,Topper had gone into the guest room,changing back into his clothes.You sat on the couch,holding a pillow to your chest,the movie already prepared and all you needed to do was press the ‘ok’ button for the horror that would probably haunt your mind for the next three months to begin playing.

 “Im fucking serious,you’re gonna cry in the first five minutes.”Rafe grinned,laying down on the couch with his legs across your lap.Topper walked out of the guest room,immediately agreeing. “Like,I love you and all but you’re gonna start screaming and crying and then you’re gonna wake us up at three in the morning freaking out.”Topper plopped down next to you,Kelce taking his spot on the floor with a blanket under him. 

“Im going to bet that she’s gonna scream in the first fifteen minutes.”He grinned,deciding to wrap the blanket around his shoulders and lean against the couch.You rolled your eyes,poking at Rafe’s legs through his pants,playing the movie. “Im gonna say the first five.”Topper placed his bet,earning a smack on the arm from you. “It’s not gonna be that bad.”You told him,rolling your eyes. “Whatever you say.”Topper grinned,watching the movie. 

“Shit….dont fucking chase after-what the fuck?Why?Why is he-OH MY GOD HIS ARM!”You cringed,squeezing Rafe’s shin,grabbing onto Topper’s arm.Kelce was laughing so hard that he was wheezing,watching as you clenched your eyes shut,holding onto Topper for dear life. 

“He’s-oh my god what the hell-I hate it here!”You were screeching,literally about to cry as you gripped Topper’s arm.Kelce laughed,a memory coming to his mind.You two were sitting on your couch,watching Infinity War.You squeezed his bicep,literally sobbing into his hoodie. “Fuck-I hate this movie!”You squeaked,hugging him tightly.He was trying not to cry,sniffling.

 “No-why Peter?Why him?”He sniffled,hugging you tightly,sobbing into your hoodie. “God-Endgame is so much worse.”You gulped,taking in a big breath. “NO!No-not tonight-I cant handle that much pain in one night.”He shook his head,rubbing your sides under your t shirt. “Imagine how tired I am!Imagine how tired I am!”You tried to laugh off the pain,your voice cracking.

As the Losers club walked through the hall,the camera focusing on the Bowers Gang you felt heat rush to your face. “Ooh-he do be kind of cute though.”You grinned,looking at Henry Bowers.Topper and Rafe groaned,Kelce smacking his head off the couch dramatically,pausing the TV. “Is evil brunette the standard?Is that whats happening?”He asked,looking up at you.

 “Wait-are you talking about the creepy one,Draco Malfoy or the mullet guy?”Rafe asked,squinting at the TV screen.You shrugged,biting your lip. “Ummm...yes.”You replied,making Topper roll his eyes. “They’re literally bullies!Why is brunette asshole the standard?”He asked,earning a small laugh from Rafe. “Bucky isnt an asshole!And neither is Peter or Spencer!And Draco Malfoy is blonde!”You exclaimed,bringing the pillow back to your chest.

Topper sighed,dragging you up next to him so he could stretch out his legs. “No,but seriously.Why are your standards so low?Like the bar is on the ground.”Kelce laughed,reaching for the remote and beginning to play the movie again. “Nice frisbee,Flamer!Fuckin losers.”Patrick spoke,your eyes glued on him. “Wait a damn minute-hold on.”You stretched your arm over Kelce’s head,grabbing your phone to search for the cast.

 “Are you seriously doing that right now?”Topper asked,watching as you scrolled through,looking for Henry Bowers.  “Yes,yes I am.”You grinned when you found the name of the actor,searching him on instagram. “Bingo.”You smiled,scrolling through his page. “And you did this for what?”Topper attempted to take away your phone,hissing when you bit at his finger. “Why not?”You shrugged,deciding you could look at his account another time,letting your phone sit on Topper’s chest.

 “Can I play the movie now?”Kelce asked,not waiting for your answer as he started playing it again.For a good amount of the movie you were screaming,holding onto Topper while Rafe laughed at you.After he kept laughing at you while you were freaking out about the painting coming to life and trying to murder Stan you had shifted across the couch,deciding to make Rafe suffer with your screams. 

As Henry began to carve into Ben’s stomach you found yourself giggling. “Wait,why is Henry literally Rafe?”You asked,earning a gasp from Topper,unable to believe that you went there.Rafe’s eyes widened,smacking your arm. “Dont be fucking rude!”He exclaimed,using the iconic line from Keeping Up With The Kardashian. “Are you kidding me?”You asked,smiling.It only took a few minutes for your good mood to go away.

“Oh my god-NO!NOT PATRICK!FUCK-I HATE THIS MOVIE!”You exclaimed,twisting Rafe’s shirt in your fingers. “Do you want to watch something else?”Kelce offered,becoming scared himself.You shook your head,determined to get through the movie. “He cant be actually dead,right?Like he’s gonna show up and it was all a dream,right?”You asked,hoping he’d get more scenes. 

“Can we take a food break?”Topper asked,moving to stand up,nearly kicking Kelce in the head.Kelce smacked his kneecap,rolling across the carpet to let the blonde stand.You glared at him.Clearly he didn't understand your attraction to the brunette sociopath or even care that he was dead.

Rafe moved you off of him,kissing your forehead before getting up as well but you stayed glued to the couch. “Are you coming?”Topper asked,standing in the doorway where the living room met the dark kitchen. “Turn on the light first.”you told him,grabbing your phone off the couch,trying not to look over to the dark staircase.

Topper nodded,getting nervous as he realized just how dark the kitchen was,getting even more nervous when he remembered the light switch was a good eight feet away.Rafe grew impatient,walking across the kitchen with his fingertips grazing the wall until he found the switch,flicking the yellowish lights on.You let out a sigh of relief,sitting at your kitchen table as they raided your fridge and cabinets. 

“This is trash,you don't have shit!Can we get McDonalds or something?”Rafe asked,looking over to you for permission.You huffed,scrolling through Nicolas Hamilton’s instagram. “I'm not driving-Rafe you’re not driving either and don't you dare give me that look!”You squinted at him as he made puppy dog eyes at you,trying to persuade you.

 “I can drive.”Kelce reached into his pocket for his keys only to be stopped by you. “At night?You hit a stop sign last time.”You reminded him,trying to think if you had any snacks hidden anywhere.Topper took the keys from Kelce,offering to drive.He was pretty okay at driving at night except for that one time that he almost hit a small child. 

“Okay,you and Kelce go and Rafe and I will stay here.”You agreed,glancing over to the slider door,seeing the pool lights were on.They came on automatically after sundown because swimming in a pitch black pool is only for dumb bitches in horror movies. 

“Alright,text me your orders.”Kelce told you,unlocking your front door,Topper behind him. “Don't watch the movie without us!”He shouted,shutting the door behind him,pressing the lock button on the key pad.Rafe sighed,sitting down at the table,his elbows resting on the wood.An awkward,tense silence filled the room,neither of you knowing what to say. 

“So….how have you been,besides,you know?”He asked,trying not to sound rude.He couldnt flat out ask “oh so like,are you having a relapse and thoughts of purging?’.You kind of understood what he was getting at,shrugging. “Its just a bad day,my stomach fuckin hurts now.”You touched the skin through the fabric of the hoodie,bruises on your flesh from where you had punched yourself.

He looked down at the floor,pulling the chair across the tile so he was in front of you,going to pull up the hoodie and see how bad they were.He let out a sigh,frowning as he noticed the darker purple parts,yellow and red spots from how hard you had hit yourself. “What happened to healthy coping mechanisms?”He asked,hands on your thighs,looking up at you.

Your hand went to pet his hair as it always did,his blue eyes staring up at you with admiration that you had never noticed. “I'm trying my best,okay?Don't act like you’re not fucked up too.”You mumbled,hearing your phone ding but deciding to ignore it.He sighed,his forehead against your stomach,careful not to touch the bruises.

 “Spencer Reid would want you to have healthy coping mechanisms.”He muttered,pressing feather-like kisses over your bruises,staring up at you.You rolled your eyes,leaning back in the chair. “(Y/N).”He mumbled,somehow ending up on his knees on the floor,elbows on your thighs looking up at you.You hummed,looking down at him.

He moved upwards,forehead against yours,the memory from your bathroom coming back to him.Your heart sped up,not even knowing what you wanted.He waited a moment before pressing his lips against yours,kissing you gently.You didn't pull away this time,letting it happen,your hand going to his jaw as he kissed you.His hands were under the hoodie that had once belonged to Topper but you had kidnapped it,claiming it as yours.He pulled away for a moment,letting you catch your breath.You leaned down to kiss him again,the feeling was addicting.

Your phone dinged again but you didn't care,too focused on Rafe.He began to place messy kisses down your neck,sucking on your collarbone,your hands tugging at his hair.He smiled,kissing your lips again,biting at your bottom lip lightly and earning a quiet moan from you.He felt himself becoming hard in his sweatpants upon hearing the noise,his hands squeezing your hips.

He pressed one more gentle kiss to your lips,moving down to your underwear,looking at you for consent before peeling them off.You gave him a slight nod to give him permission,making him grin,tugging the light material down your legs.You didnt know how to feel about the current situation.It felt good but at the same time felt wrong like you were betraying Kelce and Topper.

Rafe pressed kisses to your thighs,not wanting to rush into anything. “Rafe.”You mumbled,making him pull away from you immediately,giving you a look of concern. “Be gentle.”You requested,earning a small smile from him. “Of course.”He replied,pressing a kiss to your forehead. “I’ll stop whenever you want,I promise.”He whispered,going back down between your thighs.

A shiver ran up your spine when he licked a stripe through your folds,testing you.He glanced up at you,watching your reactions as the tip of his tongue rolled over your sensitive bud,a smirk on his face when you let out a moan.He started to pick up the pace,not going too fast or too slow,his tongue lapping at your core,your hands tugging at his hair,fingernails grazing his scalp. “God,you’re so fucking stunning.”He whispered.

He put a finger inside of you,moving it in and out quickly.Your phone ringed,scaring you a bit.Rafe just smirked,putting another finger inside of you,a moan ripping through your throat. “You should answer that.”He told you,looking over to your vibrating phone on the table.

You licked your lips,gaining the strength to move,grabbing your phone and seeing that Kelce was calling you,cursing. “Shit-Hello?”You answered,trying to keep your voice steady as Rafe sped up. “Dude!I’ve been trying to call you for like three minutes!Didnt you get my texts?”He asked.You bit your lip,trying to contain your moans. “Shit,sorry.”You mumbled,your hand covering your mouth,eyes rolling back in your head as Rafe began to suck on your clit,adding a third finger.

 “I didn't know what you wanted so I got you two happy meals,a McFlurry,a McChicken and like,four sauces.Is that okay?”He asked,waiting for your answer. “Yeah,that's fine.Where are you guys now?”You asked,feeling Rafe’s fingers quicken,going deep inside you to places you had never been able to reach on your own.

 “Umm...like five minutes away.Im gonna need you to unlock the door though,our hands will be full.”He noticed something was wrong with your voice,figuring that you were just paranoid. “Yeah,okay.I’ll see you when you get here.”You hung up the phone,letting out a moan when Rafe began to go hard,biting his lip as he listened to you. “Shit,Rafe.”You whimpered,clenching around his fingers as you climaxed,your head falling back as your liquids got onto Rafe’s fingers and all over the chair,a satisfied smile on his face.

 “Five minutes until they get here?”He asked,sucking your taste off of his fingers with a slight blush on his cheeks,grabbing some napkins to wipe you and the chair off. You were still recovering,a panting and sweating mess,your underwear on the floor. “You okay?”He asked,helping you get your underwear back on,pushing a few fallen locks of hair back,kissing the top of your head.

 “Yeah.”You answered,feeling heavy,your legs tingling.He grabbed you a pepsi from your fridge,opening it and handing it to you.You sipped it,the hoodie making you feel even more hot,wanting to take it off. “I’ll be more gentle,next time...if you want.”He mumbled,leaning down to kiss you again.Next time?

You just had to hope that he wouldn't tell Kelce or Topper about this,it wasn't an innocent kiss or a deep conversation.It was something that could easily tear apart the friend group if they ever found out. “Rafe.”You spoke,even though he was already paying attention to you. “Can we keep this a secret?”You asked.You saw a flash of something in his blue eyes,not sure if it was hurt or disappointment.He nodded though,agreeing.

 “Yeah,of course.”He sighed,trying his best to fix his hair,trying not to look too messy.Your eyes trailed down to the obvious boner that was barely concealed by the sweatpants,eyes becoming wide. “I can help you with that later...if you want.”You offered,making his cheeks and neck become red. “Okay.”He nodded,taking the can of pepsi and stealing a sip of the soda.You heard what sounded like either a head or an elbow hit your door repeatedly,along with a “FBI OPEN THE FUCK UP!”.

Rafe opened the door for you,figuring you were probably too weak to get up at the moment.Kelce almost dropped the ice cream,putting it in front of you. “For the princess.”He placed the two happy meal boxes in front of you,Topper putting paper grease stained bags down in the center of the table.Rafe sat next to you,a small smirk on his face,his hand on your knee as he grabbed a burger from a large bag with the other,squeezing your leg lightly before letting go,eating as he normally would.

Topper kept glancing between the two of you,noticing that something was different.His eyes widened,noticing a tiny mark on your neck,putting two and two together.When he noticed Rafe finishing his first burger he put a smile on his face,hands on the table. “Rafe,could I talk to you for a minute?”He asked.

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[zuffer-weird-girl]

May I request a cute and fluffy scenario where Kai gets turned into a actual Chibi and Angel and to take care of him and he's just so small and he can still talk and stuff. Sorry if I'm bothering you!

Oh how you knew he was going to beat Rappa and Chrono's ass for laughing at his... current condition.

Quirks were unique and validates from person to other. Adults, elders and childs have quirks which matched with their personality sometimes.

Yet, a quirk that transformed others into... Chibis? That was odd.

And Chisaki was less than happy about being hit by one.

"S-Sorry Overhaul-" Chrono snickered as Rappa howled in laughter and rolled in the floor. If it wasn't for his mask, it would show the boiling red on his face from anger at his subbordinates and for his lover just wanting and cooing at how... cute... he was.

He even shivered in disgust at referring himself as such a stupid word.

Enough was enough when Rappa tries to poke him, and he quickly used the overhaul on it. Ever bit of comedy vanished from the room when Rappa's body exploded.

"Huh... gladly this works still." He said stoically while looking at his own hand. Chrono gulping the air stuck on his throat as Kai put Rappa back on his place...

"Err... maybe you guys should do some search to revert him back to normal?" You quickly piped up as Chrono nodded and Rappa followed behind him, ocasionally muttering curses and insults towards Overhaul.

Kai chuffed, catching your attention as he jumped from the table. You trailed after him, and it was impressive that even despite his stature and appearance of a chibi, your boyfriend still walked normally, thinking he was still the king of the word...

Damn his arrogance, really.

"Kai, maybe is not safe for you to walk around like-" you stopped talking for a bit as he looked over his shoulder and gave you a dirty look "...that."

"And what could it happen? I still have my quirk and no one in this house dares to aproach me." He sighed and started to walk with his eyes closed "So, there is noth-"

You yelped when a romba appeared and just sucked Kai in one switch motion. You kneeled desperately on the ground before jumping with a scream at when the romba exploded... A very dirty and with open arms Chisaki soon was pitted and you would have laughed from the look on his face.

Kai had seemed to had just come back from a bloody war as his eye twitched and hives appeared on his skin.

"You were saying?" You kneeled with a smug look down at him as he only glared at you.

"Take me. To the bathroom. NOW." He growled between teeth as you couldn't help but to snicker at his situation.

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.

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Your boyfriend immediatly demanded you to get out as soon as you let him step on the sink. You only rolled your eyes as you heard the sink starting to work as you went to do something...

Making clothes wasn't a difficult task when it comes to the size Chisaki was currently in. You've done before so it was honestly some sorta of easy...

You knocked on the door after finishing your work and found Kai rubbing his now clean skin. Turning out pink and even red on some spots from how much brute force he was using on it.

"You're going to tear your skin apart this way hun." He glared at you from his spot before you dropped the new made clothes near him "Wear this, I know you wouldn't even dare to use even the same jacket without washing it first."

He arched one of his eyebrows up as you closed the door. Respecting his privacy. Soon enough he grabbed the soft material on his hands as he hummed in apreciation... not ever letting you hear it.

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"You.. realy dont need help with that book Kai?" Yoh asked with a smile at seing the dark brow haired man running back and forth each time he finished a page from his book.

"As if." He scoffed from his spot, sitting cross legged while starting to read the new page. Looking up at hearing and feeling you get out of the bed "Were you're going?"

"Grab some goodies!" You smiled from the door frame "You want some?"

"...fruits." he mumbled, hiding his embarrassment behind his looks and mask at not even being able to get up to grab some fucking food "It would be... apreciated."

"Got it! Brb!"

"Dont use pronouns of texts while talking." He scolded as you closed the door shut as he sighed.

Strange how he felt extremely small and... lonely on his own room. He always spended time in here ever si ce Pops took him in, yet he only felt this lonely when he was a mere child.

He sighed, fisting the clothes you made for him as he stared numbly at the words, now huge, in front of him.

How grateful he was for you couldn't be described as words... he cherished you more than oxygen. Despite him being... well, him. You were still there. No matter how humiliating or bad the situation is.

The door creaked open and he looked up to see you, munching on your favorite snack while bringing him some fruits and some snacks he proclaimed he despise it but knew he had a soft spot for it.

"Back now I see." He spoke with a hidden smile as you nodded vigorously. Mumbling some words as he frowned "Dont talk with your mouth full-"

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.

.

You had falled asleep. His book no more interested as he admired your face. Being this small he could see each detail of you, mesmerizing everything with his eyes, smiling at himself at when you mumbled something in your sleep.

"Such an angel..." he murmured, caressing part of your face before groaning at a pain on his stomach.

"What the-" he felt his vision blurring as you snapped one lazy eye open at hearing him groaning as he walked back and worth, tripping and falling from the bed "sHIT-!"

You woke up immediately and the huge "BLAM", crawling and almost screaming if Kai was okay before you flushed and gripped on the sheets tighter.

Chisaki Kai was all in his glory back to normal... completely nude and groaning...

"I think I need another shower." He greated as he got at least on a sitting position before noticing the clothes were ripped and was nude right in front of you.

He blushed only for a bit as his wide eyes interlocked with yours before you covered them with a nervous laugh.

"Good you're back to normal Capo!" You were starting to get nervous before you gasped at feeling him top you, brushing your hands away from your eyes as you stared wide eyed up at him...

"... Since I am going to shower I wouldn't mind getting dirty a bit to show my gratitude towards you my dear." He growled seductively as you gulped, heat starting to show and grow in your deepest areas.

"L-Let me prepare myself mentally for this first." You manage to squeal as he rolled his eyes with a chuckle before starting his own plan.

[planetjisungie]

pain but make it beautiful- p.js

characters: quidditch player! jisung, hufflepuff! jisung, ravenclaw! reader ft. hufflepuff! jeno, hufflepuff! mark

an; uh this is the first of the nct dream hogwarts au series and mark doesnt have a hogwarts au so i gotta get him into all of them somehow

"come on y/n you have to talk to him at some point, im sick and tired of you staring at him like a lost puppy" jeno drawled, commenting on the way you were currently staring at park jisung, the star player for hufflepuff. he was currently sat on the hufflepuff table- where jeno should be- talking to his own friends. "i am not staring at him i am merely observing him" you replied back with a slight scowl on your face. the tall boy had caught your attention since the time he messed up in Slughorns potions class 3 years ago. the slight infatuation then developed into feelings after you started watching him during matches and practice from the window of the medical room where you were madam Pomfreys assistant, mainly for extra credit. "yeah sure you were. you know if youd just talk to him then maybe youd find out he is always staring at you in potions when you arent looking. youre both so oblivious it pains me" jeno let out an exasperated sigh, slouching in his seat and laying his cheek on the arm resting against the ravenclaw table. "excuse you, hes probably staring at sienna. theres no way he would even notice me" you muttered, discarding your half eaten toast slathered in nutella back onto your plate before standing up. "now, i have to get to the medical room to wait for the quidditch match to begin"

jisung watched as you left the hall, hair slightly blowing behind you along with your robe as you took quick steps. his eyes followed your figure, tuning out the conversation of the rest of his fellow hufflepuff players until you disappeared from his sight. "hey, park, are you listening or just staring at your girlfriend?" his captain elbowed him making him jolt before whipping his head to face him. "huh?" but before the captain could tease him any further, a disheartened and slightly irritated lee jeno flopped down on his seat at the hufflepuff table. "if one of you doesnt fucking confess in a week im grabbing your necks and forcing you to kiss" he seethed, glaring at jisung whos eyes had widened. "no way! shes y/n l/n, princess of the ravenclaws and practically untouchable, im just park jisung who likes to play quidditch" he quickly turned down even the thought of confessing. at his total obliviousness, the whole table groaned, slamming their heads onto the table.

later that week, you were sat in the medical room, jotting down extra notes for your potions and herbology classes. hearing the door to the room creak open, you turn your attention from the words neatly written in your notebook to the entrance. masking your shock and worry with a smile, you stood up and walked towards the captain of the hufflepuff quidditch team who was supporting an ill looking jisung. "you two okay?" you asked, your stare on jisung lingering a little longer before looking towards the captain who had a frown on his face. "jisungs got the flu, conveniently before our match against slytherin next week" he explained, watching as you cleared up a bed for jisung. "oh, im so sorry you must be feeling awful" you said softly to jisung who wanted to say something in return, but his throat was too sore to even swallow. wincing at the painful sounding cough he let out, you nodded towards the captain. "i’ll take care of him mark, dont worry" you sent him a smile to try and ease any nerves he had about this. after all, a match against slytherin with their star player either benched or feeling sick and unfocused throughout the game would not end well. "thank you so much y/n, youre really a god send" mark sent you a final smile before jogging away, leaving you to tend to the poorly boy. you got jisung to lay down, specifically in the bed that was next to the window so he wouldn’t get too bored. not that he could get bored with your pretty face to stare at, that is. "jisung just get some rest, when you wake up i’ll still be here so if you need anything, please don’t hesitate to ask" you said gently, already filling up a cup of water and placing it on the table next to him. "t-thank you" jisungs deep raspy voice attempted to show how grateful he was, but he was utterly horrified at how weak and feeble he sounded. you couldnt help but feel sorry for the boy as it definitely sounded hoarse and painful. sending him a nod, you went back to your work, where you spent a lot of the time glancing back at the asleep boy across from you.

when jisung had woken up, you were in fact still there. it was apparently the morning, so he had slept all night. seeing the boy sit up in your peripheral, you got up from your work and headed to him. you had actually gotten sleep last night, hoping he didnt wake up before you got back and apparently the gods were on your side that day. "how do you feel?" you asked him, already grabbing the Pepper-Up potion from the cabinet. "a little better. my throat doesnt hurt as bad" his voice wasn’t exactly ill-sounding anymore, but he did sound kind of croaky which was mosh likely from not talking for so long. nodding in response, you handed him the Pepper-Up with a small smile on your face. "well then, if you take this you should be good to go by tomorrow," then you pouted, "but it was nice having some company here rather than just me" you sighed. jisung chuckled, and you seriously felt like your heart was going to beat out of your chest. it wouldn’t surprise you if he could hear it to be honest. "i’ll miss being here too. the view is nice and its relaxing to not be surrounded by loud boys" he said, trying to avoid your eyes as eye contact was something he wasnt ready for yet. thinking he meant the view from the window, you turned to look out it with a smile. "it is rather beautiful" you uttered breathily. jisung stared at the side profile of your face, softened and smiling as you looked out onto the forest and mountains. "gorgeous" he quietly agreed.

the rest of the day you had spent just talking with jisung as you wrote even more notes. you and him were both glad that you could finally talk to eachother, first without any of your friends teasing you, and second because the situation kind of forced you together so it would be awkward if you didnt talk. he had found out little things about you that made his heart melt, such as your cat that was called mr snuggles, your pet sugar glider that you kept at home which was called mr cuddles and how you had a love for all animals, leading to your dream of becoming a veterinarian. he had also found out your undying love for small things and how you always looked so cute talking about them, your eyes sparkling. similarly, you had found out about his little sister that he would do anything for, his owl that was just called hoot which you found both adorable and hilarious, and how it was his sister that basically made him start playing quidditch, just wanting to make her proud. you had also found out about how clumsy he was, after immediately tripping on air after getting out of bed to sit closer to your desk, sending you both into a fit of giggles as he had pink dusted on his cheeks. it was safe to say the two of you had become closer during his stay in the infirmary, and when he had to leave, you had immediately missed his presence.

during the days before the slytherin match, you and jisung would greet eachother in the halls, and you switched deskmates so he sat besides you in potions now. his team and jeno couldnt believe their eyes when they saw you two walking to the hall together for dinner after you had had potions last period. so naturally, when you waved and smiled at jisung from the ravenclaw table, and he winked in response, jenos jaw dropped. "since fucking when did you two get close?! my prayers have finally been answered, about bloody time!"he very animatedly said, waving his arms around for exaggeration. "he was like the only person in the infirmary, so he became my friend i guess" you had shrugged to jeno, but you couldnt stop the wide smile pulling at your lips.

when the match had finally arrived, you firmly put away your books and sat in the stands, as madam Pomfrey had told you to watch from outside incase any players would fall. bounding towards the hufflepuff stands, you slid in next to jeno, ignoring the looks you were getting from the other hufflepuffs considering you were literally on the wrong stand. "you come to watch your boyfriend?" jeno smirked, nudging you with his elbow. cupping your hands to your cheeks to hide the bright red glow from the comment, you stamped on his toes harshly, smiling at his screech of pain. "shut up and lets watch" you glared at him before cooling down and removing your palms, turning to face the field as the players all filed onto it. jisung searched the audience for you, finally finding you waving at him like crazy making him grin happily. mark patted the boys shoulder. "lets have a good match so you can show off to your fiancée but make it girlfriend" he joked, jisungs cheeks turning a similar colour to yours previously as he shoved marks back.

the game started, and you grew increasingly worried at the violent plays of the slytherins, though it was to be expected. the hufflepuff team however, had managed to easily come back into play after every brutal shove, or chase, giving them both an equal shot at winning. "well this is an interesting match" jeno lifted a brow, leaning forwards slightly so he could get a better view. "on god if they hurt jisung im putting them all in the infirmary myself" you said, leaning back and looking at the slytherin team, very unimpressed by their dirty plays.

"you won!" you giggled, jisungs own laugh reverberating around you, his chest pressed against yours sending vibrations into your own. grabbing his cheeks, you stared him in the eyes before smashing your lips onto his. the crowd only seemed to cheer louder, jisungs frozen arms slowly wrapping around your waist, tilting his face and kissing back. jeno and the quidditch team let out whistles, reminding you that you were in public. a wave of embarrassment hit you, and you buried your face into jisungs chest, the sound of his rapid heartbeat matching your own.

[bakugoubabygirl]

           okay before I start she going to choose one. Don't worry if its not the one you wanted her to choose bc its going to be  a Roller coaster  of emotions and a lot of back and forth for awhile  BC I FUCKING LOVE BOTH  OF THESES BOYS. also  there will be smut soon and it wont be vanilla .  

                                                        YOUR POV

          "Lets go before they find us" I whispered tugging on Bakugou arm.  He didn't say a word and followed me.  " Lets get some food at the stand" I gave him smile. Bakugou followed me he seem kind of moody though more moody then usual .           " Are you going to say yes?" Was he asking about tododroki. I didn't give much thought to that . I like him  a lot but if I was being honest with myself i had feelings for someone else.       " I dont know I like him a lot and i think it would be amazing. But i also think I have feelings for someone else. To be fair they haven't shown no sign of returning this feeling. Maybe I ought to say yes and forget about the other guy like that" I admitted.        " Who is this other guy" He asked. Why was he so damn interested and how can i tell him its him.         "Not telling" I felt my face getting red. Next thing I Knew I was getting pinned against a wall.           " Tell me" He growled. Why was this bothering him so much. If only he knew that telling him would ruin our friend ship . He would never look at me the way I look at him. because I was made to  be the villan.  Bakugou strive to be perfect at everything and I was not perfect.           " Bakugou Its you stupid" Then I broke free from his grasp . I didn't want t o know his reaction or have him mocked me. I hurried and disappear into the crowd.    Still haven't found any thing to eat my tummy started growl. When I heard my name being called out, The next thing I knew someone dragged me off  somewhere quite. I'm so sick of being pulled around today. It was my dad, Honestly I was relived that it  wasn't Bakugou .        " Hey  I know you and how your going to give it all but You need to make sure your head is clear. Ive been studying and your powers  feed off you emotions.  I want to make sure you have a clear head" he said worriedly .  OH god I'm screwed my head is far  from clear.         "  Yeah I'm not focusing on anything right now except for winning" I said and I fake smiled.          " that's Great I Know your going to make me proud. I may be rooting midoryia but Your my number one and I hope you win more." He smiled. Pulled me and for a hug.           " Thank you dad and don't worry Ill cut all there throats open" I laughed.      Then it was time to to go back to the arena.  Time  to face bakugou mental and physical . I think mentally would be harder to do.  Midnight call me and bakugou to fight first.  I try not to think about what had conspire between us earlier. I need to focus to keep my head cleared.              We both step into the ring. Bakugou goes to attack me and I dodge it just in time. Then I Blast one of my purple fire balls at him and he dodge to . This was really upsetting, and I  Take one of my shadow hands out and it wraps around his body. I started to think about how he never loses. He was perfect and every way and would make a fine super hero one day.   something you'll never be  the voice was back again.  

                                                 Bakugou  POV

She had her hand wrapped around me. I  had to escape and then I saw  Her starting to levitate off the ground. Her eyes flash purple there was a gasp from the crowd.  She slam hard into the ground  with the shadow hand. She was Going to kill me.        I jump up and fired another explosion at her this time using more force.  She shield it and then made a big shadowy fist at the ground causing it to erupt . I almost fell but then I caught my balance.  This time I used my full force now that I knew it wouldn't hurt her too bad.       The explosion was so big she couldn't shield it. She was on the ground and lay there for several of seconds.  I walked over her to see if I have won and if she was okay. She started to get back up again and she grabbed a whole of me again.      She grabbed me so tight with the shadow arm I couldn't breath.  My face started to turn purple I was pretty sure I was going to die.  The crowed was screaming to let me go But she wouldn't listen.   " Y/n Please let me go I cant breathe" I try to say but she didn't hear or listen. She wouldn't do this on purpose.  Something was seriously wrong . this was not her. " Y/n Please I love you" at that point I didn't fucking care if the whole crowed thought I was a simp . I love her and I need her to came back. Her eyes turn back to e/c when I said that.    " Bakugou" she gasps and then dropped me. I could barley move I'm pretty sure she won but she just stared at me. Her eyes started to tear up. " I give up" she yelled. Then ran out of the arena . They announced me winner and The nursing girl came to heal up my minor wounds.  I was livid that I won that way. She threw the fight.

                                                                   Y/N POV

     I Brought shame on my dad and my school. I brought shame on myself. The whole world watch it happen too. They watch me turn into a monster. I almost killed bakugou and He never going to want anything to do with me again. I sat outside the stadium on the ground.  I'm no hero I cant even go and face what I done.       I must of sat there for hours and hours. It was finally dark and everyone left. it started  to  pour down rain.   I decided to go back into the arena to pick up my bag and stuff.  It was dark except for a couple security lights. I found my bag when I heard a familiar voice.       " Tch where did you go?" Bakugou asked. Was he still talking to me.        " heard you won congratulation"  I gave him a smile. The air was so cold I could see my own breath. 

                                            BAKUGOU POV 

 " THATS NOT HOW I WANTED TO WIN" he yelled. " YOU GAVE UP THAT FIGHT WAS YOURS"        " I almost killed you .  I was created for one reason and one reason only. The whole now know so to. I let you guys down and I let my dad down. How can I be the princess of peace when I cant even find peace in my own head.  I'm done," I said  tears started to pour out my eyes.        " IF i was the bad guy you would of won. Your powerful and just because its hard your going to pack up then Your not who I thought you were " he scoffed.         " I almost kill you and maybe next time I will. I care about you too much for that to happen" I cried. I started to turn away.  He grabbed my wrist and pulled me agaisnt him.        " I know you wont. You stop because your good and you over came it. we just have to work on it. Please stay if not for yourself then the million you could save with that power.         " I dont know how I stopped myself. All I remeber is blacking out and then waking to see me almost killing youself." I explain.             " I said something to you and then you just snapped out of it" He said nervously .              " Oh well what did you say" I asked.  This could help me find the answer.      " I told you I Love you"  He blushed. This was a side of him I never seen before. I think im falling to. Todoroki was important to me but in the end bakugou been here.  I wasnt sure if I was ready to say it back. I grabbed his face and kiss him. He started kissing back first it was soft but then its starts to get more rough and passionate. He grabbed my ass and pulled me agaisnt him. despite the freezing rain , I felt warm.               He pulled away but remain eye contact with me as he pulled something out of his of his jacket. It was a small box and he handed it to me. " I wanted to give this to you when I ask you out after I won the festival correctly . That didn't go as I plan but I still want to win your heart. please accept this and be my girl. I never done this soft shit and I'm sorry if it not something I'm going to show everyday. Your worth taking my pride down a little I guess" His face was red.       I open it up and it was a sliver bracelet with his name on it and diamonds. It was beautiful and way too much. I had no idea what to say. " Yes Ill be yours" he pulled me into a tight  hug.      " lets go to my place you need to get out of the rain and getting late" he said gently. It almost scared me the way he was being so kind.                                                                      Bakugou POV         We arrived at my place. She look like she was about to past out. Today was a lot on all of us. I didn't really won the sports festival but at least I won the girl. I just got to keep that damn icy hot away from her. I wanted to rip the necklace off of her that he gave her. She mine now.        " Hey you stupid bitch your late" my mom bitch. No good job bakugou or nothing.         " Fuck you too hoe" I said back flipping her off. She was about to really yell, until she saw Y/n  come in after me.             " Hey Y/n nice to see you again. I saw you tonight you should of just kill him and not worry about it' she laugh. The fucking old hag meant as a joke. Y/n face turn white though.  I grabbed her hand and lead her up to my bedroom. She seem like she was still half in a daze.        " Lets get out of these wet clothes. You can wear anything of mine for now." I said awkwardly. I knew we were dating but I didn't know her boundaries . There so much I want to do with her. She needed sleep tonight though. we both did.   she started to strip off in my room.  Oh, she wasn't paying attention to anything really. I couldn't help but to watch in amazement though. She took  off her clothes and strip down till she was naked. I had to use all my self control to not do anything. then she put on one of my T-shirts that looked like a dress on her and then a pair of my boxers.  I strip down to nothing and but my boxers and laid on my bed.     " come here princess" I yawned. She crawled into bed and laid on top of me. She feel asleep instantly but then here phone started going off. I  Pick it up and looks at it.  Deku: hey are you alright. Me and your dad are really worried.    Damn deku fucking worrying about my girl. I didn't want to give her a dad the pro hero a reason to hate me though. Me: yeah I'm fine just staying at a friend house. I'm really sleepy so I'm going to go to bed.   Then there was other messages on the screen so I looked. Todo: hey  Y/n I'm so worried about you. When you see this please answer and I was wondering if we could meet up tomorrow to talk about today and I have something I wanna ask you. I hope your safe and sleeping well beautiful. Oh hell  no. She mine and he going to back the fuck off.  I took a pictures of her sleeping on my chest and I sent it. Me: she mine and she sleeping fine thank you. Back the fuck off  she mine now!!!!!! Todo: I see for now that may be it. I don't give up and I especially wont stop until she mine. You well slip and when you do ill be there for her. Your impulsive and abusive and don't deserve her. Me: You come any where near her your dead I blocked his number from her phone.  I wrapped my arms tight around her and I pass out.    The sun filled the room waking me up. She was still asleep. She was so beautiful and peaceful when she sleep.  Her phone started buzzing causing her to wake.   " Where my phone" she sat up straight looking for it. I handed it to her. The number didn't have a caller id. She scrunch her nose in confusion.     " Hello who is this " she answered.      " Todoroki, are you alright?" I heard him answered.  Great rich boy has more then one phone.     " Yes, what happen to your old phone number?"      " Long story, where are you at?"     " Bakugou house, why whats wrong?" she asked worriedly     " Ill be there In 20" he said and then hung up.  " Do you have anything else I can where by chance?" she asked   " I think you look fine in that Idiot" I snorted grabbing her wait.   " I cant go out like this" she said digging though the bag of mina and kiri clothes that they leave here.      " Your not going anywhere with him and no way in hell wearing that" She hold up a short pink dress of mina. Mina was shorter then Y/n so this dress was gonna not cover anything. She took off my shirt and put on the dress anyways not listening to me at all.    She grabbed my hair brush and tied it back out her face. she look stunning even though she didn't try and its for him.  " I fucking mean it your not going anywhere with him" I yelled.   " Chill out you have to trust me. He one of my friends and I'm yours so don't worry" she said try reassuring me. I almost lost her to him though. He going to try all Kinds of flirty shit. I cant be okay with this but I have too. She will leave if I'm too controlling.   " One hour then come back" I grumbled.  " I have to go home afterwards and talk to my dad" She sigh. She was right even though I wanted some time with her. The door bell ring and I hurried up to open it. IT was half and half baster.   " Leave your hands off of her and no flirty shit or I will Murder you" I screamed and then Y/n push me put of the way. I grabbed her and kiss her so fucking hard in front of him. She push me away and laughed.     " I'm sorry about him" she said. Walking out of the door with him. I kept trying to talk myself out of following them. I decided to invite shitty hair over to distract me.

IM open up to ideas and or request for my one shot books I'm doing. Thank you for read part 7 will be here Thursday at the latest

[horansqueen]

You & Me : chapter 22

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

Sequel to AM CONVERSATIONS

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15 || CHAPTER 16 || CHAPTER 17 || CHAPTER 18 || CHAPTER 19 || CHAPTER 20 || CHAPTER 21

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his. -4.5 - 4.8k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

- notes: i havent even written half of what I wanted to be written in this chapter so they will have an other discussion in the next chapter, and they’ll spend an other day together. i feel like the song thing wasnt as good as it should have been. so i feel like it really sucks. i just hope it doesnt.

if you want to be on the list of blogs i notify when this is updated, just message me :)

requests! : heres the few requests i used. i suggest you dont read them before reading the chapters tho!

Chapter 22 : Her chapter

OLIVIA

Just as I opened the door to leave, I came face to face with Louis who rolled his eyes and laughed. I knew I should have left a while ago but the truth was, I hadn't shaved in 4 days and my hair was a mess. I was pretty sure it wouldn't bother Niall but it bothered me and I had to do something about it.

After trying out too many dresses, Julie, Eleanor and I gave up for the day and ended up at the restaurant with a few glasses of wine. We talked, we laughed, and I tried to keep the conversation as far from Niall as I could. I was still trying to sort out how I felt, or mostly, what I wanted, and I felt like it was something I had to do alone. I could lie and pretend I didn't love Niall but it was too late. In fact, I have never stopped loving him and I was not sure I ever would. Possibly, if we stopped talking and seeing each other, I could live with someone else, get married with someone else and be happy to a certain extent, but being around him without being with him would be impossible. I've done that for so many years before we started dating and it made me miserable. If there was one thing I was sure, it's that if I ended up with someone else than Niall, I would cut him out of my life for good. That thought made me want to throw up but I just breathed in, trying to calm myself. I hadn't taken that decision yet and I was not ready to, anyway.

"Five more minutes and you'll be late."

"I'm already late, Louis." I just said, shaking my head.

"Yea no, I told him half an hour, not 15 minutes like you had said. I know you and he does too. Don't lie to yourself, Olivia. You're always late."

"Well, i'm an artist!" I tried to defend myself with a small amused smile.

"Yea yea, use that excuse if you want." Louis chuckled, walking in. "Niall's waiting for you. Hurry or he'll already be asleep!"

"That drunk huh?" I raised my nose up. I sort of hoped we could have a discussion, or maybe I just wanted to feel myself beneath him. I was not sure. Either way, my plan was gonna have to change.

"No he seemed a bit better when we came back."

"Came back from where?" I frowned, tilting my head.

Louis' lips curled and he put his hands in his pockets before looking down and chuckling. He looked up at me again and laughed some more before shaking his head.

"No, no way, he'll tell you himself." he finally said, making me grimace. "He's got a surprise for you."

"Whatever, I don't have time to insist." I smiled and rolled my eyes, walking past him and bringing his face closer to kiss his cheek. "Thanks for calling me, Lou."

He turned around to look at me as I walked to my car and raised his voice to make sure I hear him.

"You take care on the road yea? Call me if you need anything!"

I smiled and nodded. "Don't worry. Now call your girlfriend!"

I quickly hopped in my car and drove to Niall's, feeling suddenly a lot more nervous than I probably should. I didn't know why, it was definitely not the first time I was seeing him, and everything was going so well between us, almost as well as it was before he broke up with me. Of course, we had many things to discuss again but we were on the right path, I could feel it. I shook my head, realizing I was talking about him as if we were dating, or at least, as if I was not supposed to marry someone else, and it made me feel guilty.

However, when he opened the door, all the emotions fighting inside of me suddenly disappeared, All I felt was love and my lips curled into a smile, just like his.

"Thanks so much for coming." he let out, moving a bit to let me in, and closed the door behind me. "I just want you to know that I was not jerking off to your nude. Louis just said that because-"

"He's an ass, I know." I chuckled before licking my lips. "Does that mean my nude was not good fapping material?"

His face changed into a few different expressions but finally, he raised his eyebrows and moved closer to me, bending down slightly to slip his arms around my waist and taking a step closer, forcing me to take a step back until my ass pressed against the couch.

"That nude is definitely great fapping material, I didn't say I wouldn't use it, I just meant that I was not doing it tonight, big difference."

My lips curled more and I chuckled as he bent down to kiss me. It was wrong, I knew it, but I couldn't help myself to let him kiss me and touch me again. I never had enough and I probably never would have.

"You're drunk." I let out before kissing him again.

"Mm, yea, a bit."

I laughed and shook my head. "Come on, let's go to bed yea?"

He groaned and his lips found my neck, making me laugh again. I loved how cuddly he became after drinking and I felt his mouth leaving small kisses on my skin, making goosebumps appear.

"Will you let me hold you and cuddle you?"

I smiled and nodded and with a low sigh, he pulled away. We walked to his room but kept the lights off and I helped him with his shirt and pants before getting undressed too, picking his shirt off the floor and putting it on. We both lied down in bed, facing each other, and I could see his drunk smile even in the darkness.

"Olivia, I love you. I think I always will."

I knew he was past the tipsy stage but I couldn't hide that his words made me smile. I moved closer and brought my hand to his cheek, letting my fingertips brush on it.

"You think?" I asked in a whisper, an amused smile reaching my lips.

"I know. I know I will always love you." he corrected himself, making me chuckle again. "And that nude, oh god, pet, just thinking about it makes me hard, look."

He grabbed my fingers before I could do anything and brought it over his boxers. As soon as I felt the shape of his cock on my palm, I moved my hand away. My heart had skipped a beat and I chuckled nervously before raising my eyebrows.

"Hey, don't do that!" I let out with a laugh, making him laugh too.

"You know I jerk off a lot thinking about you?" he mumbled. "That time you slept here, I walked to your room and saw you naked. Fuck, Liv, It got me so horny. It was the first time I saw you naked in over a year. I'm sorry, I swear it was an accident, but it made me so hard I had to jerk off in the shower."

My lips parted and my breath caught in my throat. I remembered that day very well... a bit too well. "You... wait, what?"

He groaned and moved his head before looking back at me again. "I know! I'm so sorry! I think I even moaned your name when I came."

I stared at him a few more seconds as his eyes moved quickly on my face. I pressed my lips together, feeling my heart thump hard in my chest as I tried to decide if I should tell him what I did or not.

"That day I... I sort of walked to your room to ask you for something and I saw you... in the shower." I admitted as he frowned.

"Really? How did you like it?" he asked, his lips curling into a smile. "You never told me."

I wanted to tell him that I actually touched myself next to him without him knowing but for some reasons, the words wouldn't come out and I stopped trying when he whimpered low and more closer, pulling me against him.

"Say you love me, petal. You love me right?"

I smiled a bit, leaving a soft kiss on his jaw. "I love you, Niall."

"I'm also the best fuck you ever had, I have to be." he added in a mutter, making me laugh this time. "I am, petal, tell me I am. I'm better than Louis, at least, yea?"

I moved back a bit to look at him again and frowned. I was a bit surprised by his request since he was never the type to be insecure and I just licked my lips.

"Does that really scare you?"

His face changed in a funny face and he shrugged. "Ha, no." he told me before his face changed slightly. "Okay maybe a bit."

I brought my hand back to his cheek and I suddenly got serious. I didn't want him to keep thinking about that, it was seriously useless to be scared of that.

"I love you more than I've ever loved anyone, and more than I'll ever love anyone else. And you're the best fuck I've ever had, and ever will have."

His lips curled into a smirk and he chuckled low. "I know. Now pretend I never asked."

I rolled my eyes and brought my lips to his, kissing him slowly as he answered my kiss. We didn't go further, we just kept kissing gently and deeply until we fell asleep and it was the very first time I had done something like that. When I woke up, the way I had fallen asleep came back to my mind and I felt a stupid grin draw itself on my lips. That was a bit embarrassing yet that was the most romantic thing we ever did together.

I got up slowly, making sure I wouldn't wake him up, and went to the bathroom before going to the kitchen with pills that I left on the counter. I finally made coffee and found eggs and bread, knowing he may not eat at all. I heard a groan behind me and I smiled despite myself until I felt his arms slip around my waist. His lips reached for my neck and I chuckled, moving my shoulder up.

"It tickles!" I admitted, turning to look at him with a smile. "Your stubble."

He laughed and moved away, grabbing a cup and filling it with coffee before literally swallowing the pills with the warm beverage. I remained silent and put the eggs in a plate, leaving it on the counter between us and grabbing the bread in the toaster.

"No thanks, just eggs is fine." he just shook his head as I handed him a toast.

He handed me a fork and we started eating together, still standing up and facing each other. I wanted it to be that way every single day of my life until I'd die. I wanted to wake up with him, eat breakfast with him, and spend the day with him. All my days. Every fucking day.

"What do you wanna do today?" I just asked, seeing him stop moving from the corner of my eyes.

"You're spending the day with me?"

I shrugged and pressed my lips together to make sure I wouldn't smile too big. "If you want me to."

"So many useless words coming from such a pretty mouth."

"Shut up!" I laughed. "You should have heard yourself last night!"

He grimaced and I laughed some more before shaking my head. I moved closer and wrapped both my arms around his neck, quickly pressing my lips against his. He closed his eyes and his arms slithered around my waist pulling me closer.

"What was that for?" he asked in a whisper, staring in my eyes with a smile when I pulled away.

"I was thinking of going for a walk at the park, and since we won't be able to do that there, I thought it was appropriated to do it here before we left."

His smile turned into a smirk and he raised his eyebrows. "You know what we could do before we leave?"

I laughed again and shook my head, taking a step back. God I loved him so much. How did I always feel so beautiful and desirable when I was with him was beyond me. At first, I thought it was just a way to see if he could still get me somehow, and then I thought maybe he just missed the time we were dating but now? Now I was starting to realize that perhaps it was just me. He wanted me, and he loved me. And that conclusion was exactly what I wanted.

"Maybe later." I proposed with a smile. "Let's go out. Fresh air will be good for your headache."

He groaned again and I laughed some more, walking back to his room to get my bag. I quickly got dressed, the smile on my face never faltering. Was that how it would be if I was with Niall? Would I always be happy, in love and excited to spend time with him? Realistically, I knew it was impossible to always be happy or always smile. Everyone had bad days and living with someone, or even just dating someone, was not perfect, but I felt like if I was with Niall, it would come very close to it.

He came back to the room just as I was done and started getting changed in front of me, making me roll my eyes but chuckle. It took him fifteen minutes to get ready as I waited for him next to the front door and when he appeared, my eyebrows raised.

"Wow, you look good." I pointed out.

"Those are just pants and a shirt. Why? Did you change your mind? We can spend the day in the bedroom if you want!"

I laughed again, perfectly aware that he wanted to go out as much as I did, and took a step closer before grabbing his hand in mine and staring at him. After about a minute, he frowned.

"What are we waiting for exactly?"

I squeezes his hand in mine and licked my lips. "Just trying to imagine what it would feel like to walk around with you while holding your hand."

"How does it feel?" he finally asked in a whisper.

I only send him a soft smile and let go of his hand before walking out of his house. He followed me to my car and I got behind the wheel as he took a seat on the passenger's side. He didn't comment but I knew he preferred when we used his car, perhaps it had something with keeping the control or something like that, but this time, I just wanted to choose the place. I brought him back to the park we had gone to meet last time and we walked around, enjoying the sun and the weather. It was quite a big and popular park but he had a cap on and I was clearly not famous enough to be recognized. I frowned a bit when he stepped out of the traced path to reach a part with a lot less people and sat in the grass as I did the same. We hadn't talked at all and it was not awkward. Silence was never awkward between us. After a while, I just lied down in the grass and crossed my ankles to stare at the sky. It took him a few seconds but he did the same and I noticed he had kept both his hands on his chest.

"That's a dragon." I let out, "A dragon who clearly doesn’t spit out fire. More like, bubbles or something."

I brought my arm up and traced the clouds with one of my fingers as he chuckled.

"That looks more like a snowman to me."

"A snowman? Do you have imagination at all?" I argued, raising my nose up before using a dumb voice. "Oh look, a cloud that's shaped like a cloud?"

He laughed too and I glanced at him right on time to see him lick his lips. "Okay, a few sheep then. And a fence." he paused. "Okay this one looks like two persons having sex."

"No, Niall, that's just projection."

This time, he let out a louder laughter and I smiled more. I turned back to the sky, feeling a cold breeze on my cheeks, and my eyes fluttered. My heart did exactly the same when I felt Niall's fingers grip my hand that was laying on the grass, between us.

"No PDA, remember?"

"Yea I'm re-thinking that rule."

I felt something jump in my chest as the surprise took over me but decided not to say anything. The more time I was spending with Niall, the more I realized that he had changed, and a lot. He was more mature, more balanced and clearly way more ready to settle than he used to be.

The day went by very well. We grabbed food on our way back, ate in the car and ended up at the movies. When we walked back inside his house, I felt tired and stretched with a yawn.

"Wine?" he asked, raising his eyebrows.

"Beer is fine."

I followed him to the kitchen and sat on the counter as I looked at him open a beer and throw the cap in the bin. He took a sip and once again I rolled my eyes as he handed it to me.

"When I open it, there's a tax." he explained as If I didn't already know that rule. It had been instituted when we were teens and he had never stopped doing it since then.

"The tax could be something else than a sip, you know." I proposed with a smirk.

"Okay, show me your tits, then."

"You already took a sip." I pointed out.

"Take a sip of my beer and we'll be even. And then, show me your tits."

I laughed but ignored his request before I licked my lips.

"Yesterday you told me you saw me naked a few weeks ago and jerked off thinking about me int he shower." I told him, suddenly a bit stressed. "Remember?"

"Clearly."

I looked down at my beer as he stood near me, his right side leaned against the counter.

"I saw you in the shower." I added.

"Yea I remember you telling me that last night too." he smiled.

"Mm, when I saw you it turned me on. I.. I touched myself, too. While you were jerking off in the shower. I literally masturbated with you but you never saw me."

His lips parted a bit and he put his beer away before letting out the air in his lungs quickly. His eyebrows raised again and he moved between my legs, grabbing the beer from my hands and putting it away with his as he spread his hands on my thighs. He didn't say anything else, he just reached for the hem of my pants and immediately, I held myself with my hands on the counter and moved my ass up. He pulled on my pants, bringing my panties with them and let them fall on the floor before taking a step back.

"Get your feet on the counter, spread those thighs, darling."

I felt my heart jump in my chest and bit my bottom lip before doing what he asked. His gaze immediately dropped between my legs and he grabbed a chair, placing it in front of me before sitting on it. He made a quick chin movement in my direction before looking up in my eyes.

"Show me what you did." he let out. "Do it like I'm not here."

It took me a few seconds to react but I brought two fingers to my mouth, leaving some spit on them before bringing them between my legs. I let my fingers brush on my clit and slip inside me for a few seconds before going back to my clit. I couldn't take my eyes off of him and the way he was looking at me with a stoic face was driving me insane.

"You know, last time was easier because you were touching yourself."

I had no idea what went through his head but he kept looking at my fingers rubbing against my clit and slipping inside me alternately for a few minutes and finally took his cock out and started stroking it very slowly. The sight made a whimper escape my lips and my thighs tensed as I reached for my clit again. He looked amazing and there was nothing I wanted more than to watch him touch himself until he'd reach an orgasm except maybe feeling him inside me. My eyes were stuck on his cock and when he started leaking precum, I took my hand away from my pussy.

"I think you should come here and fuck me."

"No, you come here and sit on me."

I nodded quickly and moved off the counter before straddling him, still holding myself with my feet on the floor. He watched his cock enter me as I sat on it and let out a curse word as I quickly took my shirt and bra off. Once again, I was naked and he was completely dressed but I didn't mind. I felt at ease to be vulnerable in front of him, and that thought brought me close to tears.

I started moving up and down on him and I felt his hands run on my breasts, stomach, back an ass. He spanked me gently and then a bit harder, making me ride him quicker. It felt too good and my whole body started throbbing as I came close to an orgasm. He groaned and I felt his hands on my hips, helping me up. It made me frown but I followed his lead as he took my hand and brought it between my legs. I started rubbing my clit again and whimpered as I saw him jerk or again. I could feel the tip of his cock brush between my legs with each stroke of his hand and when he came, he pushed my hand away and I felt myself start shaking, his cum spurting against my clit as the tip of his cock brushed against it, helping me reach my peak too. I quivered and moaned, hearing him groan and the whole sight was just too hot. I knew it would probably make a mess but I really didn't give a fuck. I was panting as I slowly got down from my high and reached between my legs with my hand, my fingers brushing on my sensitive clit as I spread his cum on my pussy.

"That was so hot." I confessed in a whisper, making him look up in my eyes.

He got up without answering and grabbing my face to kiss me hard. I felt his cock press against my stomach and moaned in his mouth as he smiled through the kiss.

"Stay naked." he murmured as I nodded before I followed him to his room.

I saw him take off his clothes too and went to the bathroom to clean a bit before getting back in bed. He turned the lights off and we stayed together in silence, just watching the ceiling.

"Heidi sent me a picture of you in a wedding dress." he finally just randomly said after a few minutes. "That's why I didn't answer your text message, I was just so... flabbergasted by how good you looked."

I felt a wave of hated for Heidi for half a second but when I realized what Niall had said, it quickly vanished. I knew I looked ridiculous, no matter which dress he had seen me in, but the fact that he thought I looked great made my whole body feel warm suddenly.

"I want a future with you, Olivia." he just admitted, leaving me speechless.

He turned to me and pulled me closer before I heard him start singing. I closed my eyes to focus on his words and besides his voice, all I could hear was the sound of my heartbeats.

"My mind is complicated Find it hard to rearrange it But I'll have to find a way somehow Overreacting lately Find it hard to say I'm sorry But I'll make it up to you somehow

And I just don't know why The stars won't shine at night

Tell me you want it A thousand miles away from the day that we started But I'm standing here with you just tryna be honest If honesty means telling you the truth Well, I'm still in love with you

Did I miscalculate this? Let's just go back to basics Forget about what's come and gone 'Cause I hate to see us like this Breaking up on nights just like this We should be shooting for them stars of gold

So tell me you want it A thousand miles away from the day that we started But I'm standing here with you just tryna be honest If honesty means telling you the truth Then I guess we lost our focus And it's killing me that we could go to war like this But I'm standing here with you just tryna be honest If honesty means telling you the truth Well I'm still in love with you

Oh, we'll be alright Oh, it'll be alright Oh, we'll be alright Oh, it'll be alright

So tell me you want it A thousand miles away from the day that we started But I'm standing here with you just tryna be honest If honesty means telling you the truth I guess we lost our focus And it's killing me that we could go to war like this But I'm standing here with you just tryna be honest If honesty means telling you the truth Well I'm still in love with you"

I held my breath for so long I thought I was just going to pass out but I inhaled again when I felt tears fall down my cheeks. He sniffed and my eyes fluttered open only to see him crying. We just stayed there, laying in the dark, looking at each other, both crying, overwhelmed by feelings we didn't really know how to handle. I moved closer and kissed his lips until he deepened the kiss. I tasted the saltiness of his tears and he probably tasted mine, but we didn't care. All that mattered was his warm naked body against mine and the words he had sang to me.

"I love you so much." he sobbed to me in a whisper. "I wrote this the first day I saw you again at the bakery."

I wanted to tell him that I wanted it, just like he asked. I wanted to tell him that I was ready to jump back into this, to be with him and give us an other chance, but I just couldn't. I breathed in deeply and took a decision though. I was going to break up with Dylan. Clearly, it was not working and whether I decided to be with Niall again or not, I couldn't just keep Dylan around and keep on hurting him for weeks.

"That's one of the most beautiful songs I ever heard, Niall." I murmured, feeling my lips brush against his. "All of your songs for me..."

I cried again, letting more tears fall on my cheeks.

"We did lose our focus it's true... but it's back. I focus on you Niall. And you're right, we'll be alright."

I heard him break down again and it broke my heart. I brought my mouth on his against and we kissed some more. I felt his hand on my back and his fingers holding me so tight that they sank in my skin. I wanted to tell him how much I loved him but there were no words. I wish we could have a longer conversation and I felt like there were so many things left unsaid that clearly needed to be heard, but there was no way I was going to ruin this moment.

"I love you, Niall. We'll be alright." I repeated low before I heard his voice crack slightly.

"We'll be alright."

[an-animagoose]

Abel info dump 2 me about ur ocs challenge

alright its 12am and i dont expect this to make sense, read at your own risk but heres a bullshit couple paragraphs on ashley underwood, 

this is mostly ash because i think about her the most and this will make no sense because i haven't talked about her in literal months. ash is very complicated to me because i messed a lot with her characterization for a while and i still do, and i constantly wonder if I'm just shoving her into something convenient and stereotypical and therefore lessening her value, and then i decided that shes not real and i can make characters that don't make sense to anyone else but myself and i no longer also have to watch someone else take away pieces from her while i sit silently confused and hurt like i did before. anyway, she's very special to me because i put myself in her in a lot of small ways because she was the first oc i properly created. i made her originally for a fantasy storyline i was doing with some friends, and i thought she was very cool because she could do magic (doctor strange-esque, im not original) and then i gave her some trauma because its the next logical step. now i mostly think of her in all the modern aus that were created, and a lot of its with her old love interest (they had a very cool dynamic, sometimes childhood best friends to lovers, both with no idea how to be functional members of society, but i dont know if I'm like legally allowed to discuss them anymore so if i mention it once or twice my bad i just like knowing how my ocs act in relationships).  i don't really know how I'm supposed to write things so I'm just going to put some general information and then ramble for a billion words cool sorry

general things!! shes a disaster bisexual whos 5′8″ and surviving on coffee and spite, she has freckles and tan skin (half Spanish on her mom's side- speaking of her parents died when she was 10 either in a car accident or a murder I didn't make my mind up) very curly brown hair and worrying bags under her eyes. she can look intimidating at first because she has one of those resting bitch faces and a dislike of being alive (there's a little bit of mental illness as a treat) also I'm really tired writing this I'm so sorry

she's an English major- she loves books, spent most her teenage years with her nose in one because it was easier than talking to people and also they're Fucking Good, she has shelves filled with them and two copies of her favourites so she can fill one with notes and annotations and she cries is she ever accidentally ruins one, she never sleeps when she should, staying up till the early morning and then napping at every chance she gets (she has fallen asleep on all of her friends so often, and never makes it through the second hour of the movie unless it's important), she starfishes when she sleeps and is a nightmare to wake up because she will tell you rather impolitely to “leave her the fuck alone” (getting out of bed means dealing with the world and it's so tiring to do it over and over), she’s constantly cold, wrapped up in sweaters and if she's comfortable enough, clings to the closets human heater. speaking of, it takes her a while to warm up to people, used to absolutely shut herself off from getting close to people in fear of them leaving before going to ~therapy~.  she gets top grades in school because she works until shes burnt out and puts an overwhelming amount of pressure on herself, breaks down when she cant understand something in the first few tries because it feels like a failure, she does debate and writes poems and lyrics in beat up notebooks, hides them when people come over and owns like 3 guitars, sings unreasonably well and has scarily specific playlists, has round glasses she only wears when she has to because she cant see shit far away, catches colds often, brushes them off till shes forced into a bed, she studies the stars because theyre beautiful and unattainable and reads psychology books and likes true crime but only when theres a satisfying ending, she shows love through acts of service and physical touch, likes receiving quality time and words of affirmation, she takes polaroids of all her friends and sticks a bunch to her wall so she can stare at them and know that things are worth it now, has posters and art to remind herself of the little joys in life, will fight you about the star wars movies, overly competitive in a lot of things (mario-kart is a dangerous fucking game), curses a lot, stress bakes and cries when something goes slightly wrong, accidentally collects a following on tiktok from shitposting at 4am and having a nice aesthetic (and being pretty), would be the mysterious girl who you see/works at the bookstore/coffee-shop and fall a little bit in love with, writes essays last minute due to chronic procrastination and still aces it, is a ravenclaw, would be a child of hades in the pjo universe, would play outside hitter in volleyball (yes there was a haikyuu au), would be bassist in a band. i think this is all i can think of tonight because my eyes hurt but feel free to ask questions/ say anything honestly i really missed talking about my ocs and i have: many more that i will also talk about if anyone wants me to, (please. my inbox is so open please tell me abt ur ocs too i think its so fun)

[voidselfshipp]

Revenge

Cw:violence angst but a nice ending.

Ok to rb

A/n :I let my frustration out on this one, it happends after the first New cómics where fuse is kidnapped And maggie tries to convince him to go back to salvo, he then scapes with lifeline and bloodhound.

--Do you mind explaining me how this happened?--Jerico said pointing at the now destroyed Kings cannion.

--Well,remember Maggie?-- fuse said putting at arm protectively around jeris neck pulling her closer-- yeah well shes out for vengance

--yikes-- octane says concentrated on his game.

Jer sighed pressing a kiss to fuses temple-- well ive got to go and check it out

--There might still be some balanced rocks 'round It--horizon added, fixing newt-- ye be carefull dearie

Jerico laughs and shakes her head-- y'all are babying me too much, ill be just fine-- she kisses Walter and walks to the dropships platform.

High heeled quick steps are heard as loba walks to jeri-- youre forgetting something

She rolls her eyes looking at loba-- you too?

She nodds, and jer playfully groans kissing her.

--Look at you two! So adorable-- wattson coos as lifeline raises a brow.

-- well it looks like old fuse here doesnt like it-- ajay added with a playfull smirk

Jer shakes her head saying her goodbyes and dropping into the destroyed Kings cannyon.

She wrote soundly on her iPad,looking at the damage done by maggies temper trantrum-- banners mostly destroyed, infrastracture of bunker Severly damaged...--she muttered under her breath.

**theres Someone watching**

A voice whispers to jerico as she turns around, knife to the throat of her assailant.

--Jesus christ hound! You scared me!

Bloodhound puts their hands up-- ah im sorry my dear-- they said-- fuse sent me to watch over you...

Jer sighs putting her dagger back in her pocket-- you need to stop sneaking up on me

Hound shrugs-- the gods Will tell me when its my time to go

--And to valhalla youll go if you Keep scaring me like that

They takes her arm and they walk togheter as she keeps doing her work.

--After what happened with maggie,hows fuse holding up?

The tracker pet their raven looking away-- well he seems to be shook, maggie had a bad Effect on him,even now hes still a bit quieter than usual

Jer nodded putting her iPad on her backpack.

Bloodhound tilts their head-- what is it that youre thinking?-- they asked.

--Maggie wont stop until she gets fuse back to salvo..--she trailed off looking at the Mark in her hand.

--You cannot intervene with fate, you know that fully well-- they said,putting a hand on her shoulder-- it is not our place to make that desicion for him, we'll Keep him safe.. one way or another...

Jer shook her head--hound I have to ask you a favor, hand this to crypto--she said handing them her bag-- he'll know what to do,I myself have a bitch to hunt down...

Before they can say anything jerico sprints, knocking over some rocks so they cant follow.

Hound is left there-- May the all father help us all--they whisper walking back to the dropship.

The transmition tower was still intact somehow, with savage Winds she climbs it, her hand presses against one of the cables.

Even bloodhound can feel the waves coming from it as they sit to Sharpen their Knife.

Its like a constant drumming , a war cry.

--Come on...you bitch show yourself-- she whispers to herself eyes tightly shut.

There, the signal is faint, but strong enough for her to follow.

What Will she do when they meet face to face? Shes not sure yet.

Jerico feels the blowing of air of a snout, she turns around and there she was-- oro, you followed me all the way here?-- the dragon grunts unfolding her wings letting jeri Sit on the mount-- its hunting season oro,lets go

The creature takes flight, following the energy signal.

--And you let her go?!-- fuse asked slamming his hands agains the table.

Bloodhound shrugged-- I know better than to get in her way, fitzroy, besides theres nothing I,or any of Us could have said to stop her

Wraith perked up-- I can try and find her, if you want to go after her, the voices should help

Crypto shrugged-- or I could just check her phone tracker

The woman scowls--yeah that can help too

Loba puts a hand on fuses shoulder-- im equally concerned with jerico, but even then, shes a forced to be reckoned with, what Will you say to her when you see her

Fuse just sighed uncrossing his arms-- whatever it takes to Keep her out of this Mess, maggie is vicious and im afraid that jerico May not stand a chance

Meanwhile, jerico grew closer and closer to maggies hideout.

--Okay oro-- she said-- its time for a dive

The dragon nodded flying high up to the clouds,falling rapidly into the water.

With a splash they dive in, swiming under the hideout into a underwater cave.

Jeris adrenaline levels rise, with a firm grip in the reigns she signals oro to come up to the surface.

Oro peeks her head out breathing the humid air.

--there we go girl,stay here--jer climbs up the walls to the underground entrance.

The Doors Open infront of her, somehow they knew she was here.

Walking aimlessly she gets to where maggie was, the energy feels tingly in her fingertips.

The door opens up.

--wally?!--jer exclained-- the fuck youre doing here?

Maggie interrupts him-- well ya little loverboy here came to hand himself in,as long as you Keep breathin'

--What?!

--babe...let me explain-- fuse said walking towards her holding her hands-- shes vicious..you Wont stand a chance and I dont want anything happenin to ya

--But the answer isnt handing yourself in!--jeri added grabbing him by the collar.

Hes about to answer when maggie breaks both up-- say your goodbyes, hes coming with me

Jers body heats up, fists clenched.

Fuse tries to stop her but to no avail -- you think you can just come in here, blow up this place and take my love away?! Youre severly mistaken !

--nice catch wally-- maggie said slightly amused-- kitties got claws, now lissen here--

--No!--Jerico said -- you listen here you bitch, youre not taking him because of your petty revenge!, youre staying here with the rest of your crew, and ill crush you with my own bare hands!, you dont get to walk here like you own the place, like you own me or him!

The walls of the cave start to crack, dust starts to fall--this mountain bends to my will! Youll learn how it feels to be squashed under someones command...

A rock falls onto maggie and her lackeys, jeri walks towards her lifting her face up by the chin,violently-- see how it is down there?, right below us theres some gigantic eels hungry for food, I can feel their energy and they are starving...maybe youll do a nice dinner...or maybe youll give them a bad tummy ache,you rotten sack of shit

--Jerico enough!-- fuse pushes her away with an angry expression.

She huffs looking away.

He turns to maggie, and sighs-- it doesnt have to come to this...drop this and make peace, I cant Keep her down for much longer

The woman scowls and spits at his feet-- ya bloody traitor! Ill have your other arm!, you shouldnt have left salvó! Ill have your and your girlfriends head on a pyke!

Jeri growls making a bigger rock fall ontop of the one maggies under-- you shut up!

Walter sighs looking away-- then this is it...jerico we are leaving...

--what?!-- she says following fuse-- and let her live?!

He looks at her sternly, and as they exit the cave the door to it collapsed.

Back at the dropship fuse entered leaving jerico to cool off on the shore.

--And whats up with those two?--octane asked wraith, fuse and jerico havent talked to eachother in days.

--hes still mad at her, and jerico is too pridefull-- wraith answered in a hushed whisper.

Its midnight now, jerico tosses around her bed,unable to fall asleep.

She then feels a pair of strong arms around her pulling her closer to someones chest.

--Cant sleep babe?--fuse whispered against her ear.

Jeri turns around and hugs him tightly, he strokes her hair and she nodds.

Fuse sighs-- look babe what happened with maggie...I understand...youre mad,and I am tired of her shit...but going lonewolf was dangerous, I... just dont want to loose you--his voice breaks.

Jer sniffes hugging him tightly-- I dont want her to take you away from me wally!--She breaks down crying-- I cant loose you

He hugs her tightly crying with her--you wont,I promise you wont.

Their broken sobs are barely audible, he puts his head on the crook of her neck, sniffing trying to recompose himself--but...I think that ass kicking of yours May help her re-think things.. May I add..ya looked bloody hot while doing it,maybe I need to get ya mad more often

Jeri laughs kissing him-- oh shut up!

He kisses her again, both playfully fighting and wrestling around the bed, finally tiring themselves out falling to the bed.

-- im never leaving ya-- he whispered kissing her.

She nodds kissing back-- yout better Keep that promise up

Both chuckle.

--Night sweetheart

--night wally

[trikxx]

Lookk so to mention this is not just any friends to lovers story my toxic side is screaming friends with benefits type beat so😉 there will be some heartbreaking and Shinsou talking to other girls and you talking to other boys❤️❗️this is also a poc reader sooo read if you want i dont own you🤷🏽‍♀️

Songs for this chapter ⬇️

• B***h dont kill my vibe by kendrick Lamar

• in control nba youngboy

⚠️❗️marijuana use in this chapter❗️⚠️

"Alright we have 569 orders to pack Toshi." You say to Shinsou "ok hold on." Shinsou said licking and blunt to finish rolling it. You grabbed a box of packages and put it in the living room the grabbing your computer to print out labels and receipts.

You light a candle and turn on some music (the song at the top) Shinsou puts the blunt to the side and starts labeling the packages and putting the orders together in this order costumers order, business card, thank you card, and receipt. You do final packaging and stamp for the mail marking each order off the list and putting it in the box of finished orders.

"Hey n/n wanna go get a tattoo tomorrow?"

"Sure but where?"

"You remember Sero and Denki from Highschool?"

"Yea."

"Well they opened a tattoo spot on 58th." Shinsou said "Bet we can go." You respond putting another order in the box.

*DING*

"Who is it?" You ask Shinsou cause he pick up you phone. "Armoni." "What did he say?" "He said can he come over?" Shinsou responded "Are you ok with him coming over?" You say "Yea." "Ok then tell him Its ok."

Armoni⛓💵: Is it ok if i come over?

Y/n🤍🌸| Yea. You spending the night and do you need a ride?

Y/n🤍🌸| Also do ma know?

Armoni⛓💵: yea she know and no dad dropping me off.

Armoni⛓💵: ouu i can spend the night bet. Yea if thats the case.

Y/n🤍🌸: i didn't-

Y/n🤍🌸: Aight.

You and Shinsou start back in the orders soon finishing them. "I'm tired as fuck." You say flopping down on the couch "Get untired sweetheart cause your brother is coming over and we have a blunt to smoke and food to order." Shinsou said while laying across your legs.

Y/n's pov

Shinsou lit the blunt and hit it a few times. I looked at him as he let the smoke move out his mouth softly blowing with his head back. "Like what you see?" Shinsou said looking at me with a cocky smirk thats when I noticed I was staring "shut up and pass the blunt." I say. Shinsou chuckled and gave me the blunt. I did the same thing as Shinsou but blew o's "stop trying to show out n/n." Shinsou said taking the blunt "boy ain't nobody 'showing out'." I say putting up quotation marks with your hands.

We pass the blunt back a forth a few more times until I got a notification from life 360 saying Armoni go to the apartment. Shinsou put out the blunt and put it with the spongebob rolling tray we had. I cracked the window and opened the balcony door a little bit and went in my room to put the orders away.

When I came out the room someone started knocking on the door kinda like the police (strong ass knock✋🏽💀) "Armoni Keith l/n how manys time do I have to tell you stop knocking on my fucking door like that." I say opening the door. " Dang Im sorry you aint gotta cuss at me n/n" Armoni said "Aye Shinsou where the hoes?"

I smack Armoni on the back if the head while walking past him to the living room "Ain't no hoes." I say coldly. "Yea Armoni ain't no hoes.... right now." Shinsou said smirking. "Nigga." I say with a straight face. "Im not finna do this with ya'll tonight." Shinsou and Armoni start laughing "ANYWHOO. Did you eat yet Armoni cause was finna order some food."

"Nah not yet." Armoni said. "What do ya'll want to eat?" I say walking into the kitchen with my phone to grab an water and then lean on the island.

"What about taco bell?"

"Armoni who the fuck."(sorry to the people who like taco bell) I say "ima have to agree with y/n Armoni. Who eats Taco bell?" "Uhh..obviously me." Armoni says.

"Awe naw you gotta go." I say "how about in and out? We can go out and get that." K said "im cool with that" Armoni says. "Ok." I say walking to my room. I got in to my room and pull out a pair of jogging pants and a oversized (fav anime) shirt and took off my bonnet and styled my faux locs

I grabbed my purse and house and car keys. "Yall ready?" I ask putting on my air force ones. "Been ready. We was waiting for you." Shinsou said.

Time skip

I start up my car using my remote start while we were walking to the car in the parking garage.

Everyone gets in the car. "LET ME PLAY THE MUSIC!" Armoni yells "STOP FUCKING YELLING." And it depends on what you finna play." I say turning around to look at Armoni. "Come on n/n let him play the music." Shinsou said looking at me tilting his head with puppy dog eyes. "I guess." I say rolling my eyes. "Just dont play no trash shit." I said looking at him through the rear view mirror. "Ok ok and i was going to say yall had to cause yall smoked with out me." He said making this face '😌' "boy.."

Play in control by nba youngboy

"shhhhhhhh" Shinsou said putting his finger up to your mouth and pointing to the steering wheel. "Food." I side eyed him and started backing out the parking spot and driving out the garage. Armoni start playing Nba youngboy. As much as I wanted to turn it off Shinsou wouldn't let me so we had to flow with it.

"Sk machine guns its two of us wit four nines!" Armoni rapped with the song (in control-nba young boy only song i can get down to🙌🏽 edit- i put the wrong song🙂 if you listen to yb just ignore that🧍🏽‍♀️) I turned down the radio. "What do yall want from here?" I asked they both said what they wanted and i went inside and ordered the food. As im waiting a guy comes up to me "Damn, what a fine girl like you doing out by yourself." He says "ahaha" I said sarcastically "getting food." I say still looking down at my phone. "You should me get your number." He says "you should let me get your name." I respond dodging the request. " My name is Shindo and you?" "Y/n" i say

"Order number (blah blah blah)!" The cashier says "welp thats me." I said not wanting to talk to him anymore. "Here you go ma'am." R/n says handing my bag "Thank you, have a good night" i say walking towards the door. "Hey! Uhh.. y/n you said it was!" I heard the guy from before right when I walked out the door "Hey" I said putting on a fake smile. "Can I get your number?" He asked "yea sure" I say pulling out my phone to put his number in.

Shinsou's pov

As me and Armoni are just chilling the car I see y/n coming out on in and out but she getting stopped by someone "who the fuck.." I say "what wron... oh shit" Armoni says. "You know who that is?" Armoni asks me. "Not at all." I tell him. Im not gonna lie i was jealous. But like fr who is that. I see y/n put her phone back the guy tried to hug her but she away "she dont want em" me and Armoni said at the same time and busted out laughing

"What are yall laughing at?" Y/n said opening the back door putting the food in the car. "You petty for doing that to that dude." Armoni said trying to stop laughing. "Awe well he was the on that didn't realize." Y/n said " But you still gave him your number though ." I said. "Yea Im finna block his number rn." Y/n said pulling her phone back out.

Y/n's pov

"Aye. Disconnect from my car now." I said to Armoni "whyyyy?" Armoni whined. " Disconnect or get out. Either way your still disconnecting just the second one your walking." I said smiling at him "ok ok"

I started playing my playlist.

~Time skip~

Shinsou's pov

We got back to the apartment and everybody got comfortable and we ate and watched movies Armoni went into his room and got in the bed around 3 am. Me and y/n were still in the living room. Y/n was laying on me and I was laying on the couch.

~30 minutes later~

"Hey y/n..." she fell asleep on me. 'How cute' I chuckled and just stayed there not wanting to wake her up to put her in her bed. I kept watching f/a that Y/n had put on after Armoni went to bed.

*DING*

Kami💀⚡️: Yoooo are yall coming through to the shop tmrw

Hitoshi☄️: yea why wouldn't we😃.

Kami💀⚡️: just asking cause you guys change up plans really quick if ya know what i mean😉

Hitoshi☄️: stfu. It was only once.

Kami💀⚡️: if you say soo Hitoshi😌

Hitoshi☄️: stop fucking texting me.

It was only once we only did it once. Me and Y/n were supposed to go to their shop the other day but thing between me and y/n go heated and we ended up in bed together but thats besides the point. "Yo Hitoshi your still woke?" Armoni said walking into the living room. "Just up to get som..."Armoni stopped and look at me then down. "Uhmmm..." Armoni went back to his room and got his phone.

"Moms is gonna love this." Armoni said taking a picture. "Why you take a.... fuck Armoni delete it now." I whisper yelled still trying not wake up y/n

"Why should I delete it? Why ya'll ain't tell nobody you guys were a 'thing'?" Armoni shot back. "Cause we're not. Bruh delete the pic and we stay safe. You know your sister is crazy and if she finds out thats the end of our lives." I say slightly sitting up causing y/n to move around a little bit. "Valid point I'll delete it on one case." I was over joyed til the last part.

"Let me drive the car tomorrow." Armoni said. I sighed knowing either way this might be my last week on earth. "Ok." "Anddd deleted thank you for your service." Armoni said taking his water and going back to his room.

I layed back down trying to comprehend what just happened.

*DING*

"What the fuckkkk." I say reaching over to y/n's phone.

*New message from (***)-***-****

(***)-***-****: Hey y/n this Shindo😉.

*read*

I looked at the phone for a little bit 'who is Shindo'

(***)-***-****: from In&out we met there just yesterday.

(***)-***-****: shit. My bad for blowing up your phone just realized how late it is. Text me back when you see this👋🏽.

'Wow' I think to myself bro really is blind. Would this be considered harassment. Maybe I'm tripping... im still high as fuck. Maybe I should go to sleep. I cut on another show to try and fall asleep on but I couldn't. I kept thinking what if she falls for him?

"Y/n." I say shaking her a little bit "come on" Motioning her to wrap her legs and arms around me so I can put her in her bed. "Can I sleep in here?" I ask "Bruh your room is down the hall go there." She said in a sleepy voice. "I dont feel like ittttt" i say.

Y/n slow turned over to face me. "I dont have the energy to argue with you." She said "I take that as a yes." I say getting into her bed.

I felt y/n snuggle under me trying to find warmth so I grabbed and held her close to me. "Goodnight." I say. No response so I start to let go "ok ok night." I heard y/n say. "Mhm thats what I thought." After a while I was able to fall asleep.

2062

This chapter took 5 ever to write but it was worth it I really hope you guys liked this chapter.

🌸L O V E  Y A  B E B E S🌸

[q-u-a-c-k]

rant that you can just skip over 😂 it's just detailed intrusive thoughts. and I'm continuing to rant about literally everything that goes through my brain so I am here writing this and not acting on thoughts or being stupid.

okay so this is a note from after I have written all that. and basically it's complaining and ranting about everything and hyperfixating on space and science in the end. in the middle I talk about my fears of love 😂 potentially triggering stuff? it's all nonsense you really dont have to read it. it was just to keep myself from doing something I shouldn't. so if you could be triggered by literally anything maybe dont? idk. I cant stop you but it's probably annoying and not interesting. if anyone does read it though let me know if I need to tag it anything.

So my brain has now decided that because there is no way I am sleeping tonight unless it's exhaustion, I get intrusive thoughts. fun! so rn it has been fixated on the fact that because I am closest to the outside. not hall door. that I could easily sneak out. which is very much not good idea, because 1) I dont live in this area, 2) it's still cold as fuck outside at night, 3) I would literally fucking get lost or caught immediately. So yeah :) I dont even know what I would do if I did go and I don't want to because I have an idea of what brain would say and that's a big no. it's especially big no because I'm too comfortable with the idea of it but I'm not allowed to. and I guess now it's kinda good because brain is thinking about how I miss my cat. I just wanna see my baby and be in my safe place with the people I'm actually comfortable with (cat and phone with online friends) like guys he's so fuckung adorable and what if he doesnt know why I'm not there right now. usually he sleeps in my room at night. so what if he's in my room waiting for me and I cant go see him. you're damn right that I'm crying about this. i just want my baby because he is my baby and an indicator of a safe place.

also I am so incredibly fucking uncomfortable. like I cannot sleep because 1) in a place I do not know 2) there are people (family) in the room that I am not comfortable letting my guard down around 3) there's so much noise from snoring (and from one sleep talking) 4) I am on the couch because when we go places I'm always the one who has to and it's a shitty pull out bed couch. it makes way too much noise that I have been in an uncomfortable position for over 3 hours because I dint want to disturb anyone else. and I can very easily feel like of the metal bars under the middle of my back 5) I am very cold. I forgot a blanket and I didnt get one because the room only gave us one extra one (I dont think we're supposed to have an extra person) ad my sister got it even though I'm the one by the outsid,door, window, and air conditioner which wont turn off. I at least have my flannel though to cover my legs 6) my head hurts so bad because it's the kind of headache that hurts to have eyes open, breath, or move around in general 7) my stomach hurts so bad because I had to eat because apparently people get hungry and are supposed to eat along with anxiety from literally all of this 8) I have not gotten to be alone for more than 10 minutes since the middle of Wednesday whereas usually I spend almsot all of my time alone (with cat and phone with online friends) in my safe place. 9) I have not stopped crying (not really like crying crying but like there has been tears or water from my eyes because for some reason they burn and some because of anxiety or missing cat. 10) I keep thinking that at any moment I close my eyes someone is going to break into the room or one of my family members are gonna do something (I literally dont know what, that's intrusive thoughts talking but I have previously freaked out because I thought they were gonna aliven't me for no reason) 11) When I'm somewhere I'm not used to I get really bad muscle cramps in my arms and legs and I am not having fun with that.

sorry that was a shit ton of complaining that nobody should have read or give a shit about. so sorry if anyone actually read that?

also Allison, if you actually do read this (istg you really dont have to. like I said this is just my train of thoughts written to prevent me from doing anything. I am not watching wandavision until later today 😂 and I am staying off the discord server I joined becuas of potential spoilers.

anyways continuation of rants and complaints. I really want to put the phone down and attempt to sleep even though I know I'm not gonna be able to and for that reason I have to write here because I do not trust myself with my brain being like this rn. but I wanna put phone down so bad because my eyes hurt and my head hurts from having eyes open.

and I really wanna just get my earbuds out and have controlled noise and potentially fall asleep but that would take noise louder than them to drown them out but any noise already is hurting my head and earbuds sound really uncomfortable right now.

also I'm starting to get really cold again because the flannel was working for a little but I think that was because I had to move a little bit to get it out and on my legs and I haven't been moving.

also my sister (sleep.talker) has been just making noises and mumbling all night except just now she went "eww" and rolled over and continued snoring and sleeping. so that's fun. totally didnt scare me.

oh my God it's fuckung almost 3:30 I just wanna sleep. at this rate I dont care in what way it happens, but I want sleep in the next 10 minutes so I cannot be aware of how uncomfortable or in pain I am.

my back (which usually already has back pain) connot stand to lay on the bar in this position anymore so I have to move but it's so loud and I dont wanna wake anyone up or move into a worse position but feel bad for moving.

I have now moved and I dont THINK I woken anyone up. back is better but head hurts so much more now because of movement and I am now laying on my knee which I have a lot of problems with and am not having a fun time.

idk what to talk about. I want sleep or to at least put phone down but like I said multiple times I do not trust my brain rn so I have to keep writing stuff. and I dont want to just keep complaining but idk what to talk about and complaining is easiest rn because I was out in an uncomfortable situation by coming with them and I didnt want to in the first place but would not be able to stay home.

I am now gonna talk about sleep and my thoughts about it. I like being asleep but I also dont. I like being not awake but most of the time do not like the dreams I have. but sleep itself is such an interesting concept. like the body forces itself to shut down and put you unconscious to like rest itself or repair before continuing to function. and it's like (supposed to be) on a specific or close to schedule. like youre supoosed to have a schedule for when you're unconscious. and this is completely normal. a part of our society is actually shaped around this too? like at certain times around the world it gets all dark and the world goes quiet for a while. idk I just think it's really interesting. maybe it's not idk lmao.

and now brain wants to talk about how and why I am afraid to love. :). brain is afraid to love because that means I have to be vulnerable to someone and that's just so terrifying to do, especially being someone who is different than a lot of the heteronormative society. like I absolutely love my friends. and once I'm comfortable around them, I'm gonna tell them that I love them as much as I can (but also dont want to make them uncomfortable). because if I finally feel comfortable enough around you to be vulnerable and accept that I love you despite brain's overwhelming urge to say I don't and be invulnerable and safe, I'm gonna tell you that as much as I can that I love you. because it literally happens so little in my life that I actually really trust someone. so if I tell you I love you I mean it (and it tells you I trust you). like seriously, I barely even say it to my mom because I'm so on guard and trying to watch my back around her. and I dont think I say it to the rest of my family. unless it's my grandparents I'm gonna tell them that because I think I do just in a different way of your my grandparent and you're family. and I occasionally say it to my irl best friend because there's still a lot I'm on guard about because I haven't told her a lot of things so we're not as close as you'd think. but if you're reading this I have probably told you i love you. and i know Allison i tell you as much as i can because I think yyou'rethe absolute top person that I trust and love, so i try to tell you a lot. because I love you!! you're like my entire found family 😂

but now we're gonna talk about reasons why I'm terrified to be in love romantically. Because I dont think i have actually liked someone romantically or really ever be romantically interested in anyone. I have thought about it because I felt like I had to tell myself I was ( I was not). like i thought I had a crush on someone once but I think it was because I was unable to be their friend at the time that I wanted to be their friend even more. and because I never really got to pick my friends I didnt know what it was like to actually want to be friends with someone. but thinking about someone romantically I just cant really do. because I don't want to get into a romantic relationship if I don't know if I'm gonna like them romantically at all. do people like people romantically when they first go out with someone? or do they just say I kinda like this person let's try it out? because that just doesnt make sense to me and idk. and it could very well be that I'm just to young to know yet. because I still dont even know what I would want from a romantic relationship. like... Idk what there is for me to want or what's different to loving your friends besides calling them something else? and the whole having to trust that this person likes you in a specific way that you might like them before you take it far enough and get hurt because they just don't feel the same? or you're the one that's not really sure and potentially hurt someone else? I know people say it's just a risk you're gonna have to take but I dont want to take a risk like that. I dont mind being hurt from it myself but in terrified at the thought that I could potentially hurt someone because I just dint feel a certain way. and I still dont know what the difference is between friend love or romantic love to be able to judge or risk that? like seriously what is different? because I mean, maybe affection like have someone to hug or cuddle? but you could do that with friends and it should be a normal thing to have with your friends. but ig this still is a fucked up society that thinks everything has to be more than what it really is. and it just leaves people touch starved because of it. idk. maybe one day I'll figure it out, but how it's just Greek and foreign to me. idfk.

well that was fun. now it's 4 and I need something else to talk about because even if I do potentially fall alseep soon, I do not want those to be my last thoughts and possibly have dream about it (dreams for me are typically not good).

I think I see the moon. it's either a moon or a parking lot light. and I know the moon is either full or very close to full (I'm pretty sure it's just very. close) but I wish all of those lights outside were off and possibly have a new moon so I could see the stars. I love the stars so much. i love the moon, too, but right now it's very bright. but I wish I was more into astronomy and knew more about it. because that's also something that's very interesting to me is space and the stars. I wanna be someone who knows about all of the constellations. but I have a horrible memory and absolutely would not be able to remember 88 different stories. although I'd want to. even though most of them or a bunch are just Zeus being a dick. but more to the science side of the stars is so interesting to me that they're soooooo far away. like they're literally incomprehensibly far away. like I cannot comprehend how big a football field is without see one, I'm agine being able to comprehend the distance of light years? like I know we know how far it is but I'm pretty sure human minds cannot comprehend how far that ACTUALLY is. even if we know it's a LOT. and isnt it cool how we're able to know there are other planets outside of the solar system? I believe it's 4 different planets that we know of that are MORE inhabitable than earth. like better to live on. and they have either older or stronger stars that wouldn't die out as fast as our sun. although there comes the debate of if we should be able to go to them. it's a very debatable question, but I think overall the answer would be no. because humans have fucked up an entire planet, why should we be allowed to do it to another? like it realize it's literally a percent of humans that fucked it up for the rest of the planet, but humans have an inner need to have power over everyone else and other things and would stop at nothing to get what they want. humans could so easily become corrupt and destroy other planets too. it's kind of a fucked up thing to say, but I feel like maybe humans should die out with our planet. like of course it's not fair to the ones who haven't had the chance to live a life yet. but it was never fair to the other creatures humans killed for their own needs. like we have caused extinction several times. karma will get you back in the end ig. and it would be cool to know but obviously we wouldnt be able to know, if a species even smarter than humans evolved and kept the peace on earth, even as the ruling species? ruling sounds wrong but idk what else to call it. whatever we are above everything else is what they would be. but it would be so amazing to know what smarter beings are alive or could eventually live. like that's so fucking cool.

anyways I should probably try to sleep or put phone down because now brian doesnt have time to let me do anything I shouldnt. it's 4:30 😂 someone is probably gonna wake up soon because idk.

[danganronpa-tng]

Chapter 5 - The Trial Of Kamron Naegi

*Trigger Warning; brief mention of hanging later in the trial. Read at your own discretion*

- - -

Kamron was found collapsed out in the hallway of the dormitory corridor. He had a couple of bruises on barely visible areas, such ad his stomach or legs. His sunglasses were missing. Due to the fact four people encountered the body at the same time, one out of the four could still be a suspect, hkwever this is not certain.

Cause of death was blood loss. He was found with his right hand severed, laying several feet away from him. The weapon used to sever the hand is unknown, but the cut makes it look like a sharp blade. There were clear signs of a struggle, including blood splatters in the middle of the hallway. It seems he was propped up against the wall rather than collapsing against it.

The victim was killed at approximately 1PM. He was discovered at approximately 9AM that day.

- - -

“So, he died at 1AM?”

“Yep... anything on your mind, Sara?”

“Huh? Oh, nothing really. I just find it odd he was still fully clothed at 1AM, that’s all. Well, bar his sunglasses, but you know.”

“That’s true, actually... thanks, Sara!”

“Anytime! Good luck.”

- - -

“I-I can’t believe this... Kamron... as s-soon as I learn we’re related...”

“Hey, hey Kass... it’s gonna be OK. We’re gonna find his killer, no matter what! Ok?”

“Yeah... yeah, I know you can. We all can. I just can’t let this slide. Someone’s- someone’s gonna pay!”

“Right.”

- - -

“Greetings, Hayden.”

“Oh, Katelyn! You ok? You look panicked.”

She’s smoothing out her clothes and panting.

“No, not panicked per say... more so, kind of nervous. I was chatting to Aspen last night, and we talked about how we were sure nobody else would be killed from now on... I suppose we were wrong.”

“Oh...”

“Anyways, I did my usual check to the weapons room, as I tend to do.”

“And?”

“I, surprisingly didn't see anything out of place. Nobody had moved anything since the masquerade.”

“Really? That’s odd... anyways, thanks Katelyn.”

“Anytime. Now, if you’ll excuse me.”

- - -

“M-morning, Aeja...”

“Hello, Hayden. Apologies for my message earlier, please disregard it.”

“Huh? I mean, we can still talk if you want-”

“No, it’s quite alright. Now, what did you come over here for?”

“Ah, well, I just wanted to see what evidence you had.”

“Is that it? Hm. Well then, all I’ve found so far isn’t properly solid evidence, but I noticed that almost everyone came out of their room in their pyjamas, as you can see. However, three people didn’t. Aspen, Katelyn and Estrella. Not proper evidence.”

“Well, it’s still worth noting! Thanks, Aeja.”

“You’re welcome. Now, please leave me be. I’m thinking.”

“Ah. Ok.”

- - -

“Estrella-?”

“Hm? Hmm? Is that a voice? No, must have been the wind.”

“Estrella-”

“Oh, there it is again! It sure is drafty in here.”

“Estrella please, I just wanna talk about evi-”

“Ugh, a leader as supreme as me shouldn't be putting up with a cold room. I’ll be taking my leave now.”

“Wait-! Aaaaaaaand she’s gone.”

- - -

“Hm? Vera? Oh, you can write it down. Cool.”

Yes. Well, I was just wondering, has anyone checked the kitchen to see if all the knives are still there? It might be a worthy idea.

“Oh, no actually! I didn’t even think of that. Thanks, Vera!”

- - -

The Trial

- - -

“So, does anyone have a solid alibi?”

“For 1AM?”

“Ah... fair point. So let me rephrase that; was anybody in someone else’s dorm last night? As in, sleeping over?”

Yes, I was staying in Sara’s room last night.

“Ah, ok! So, we can pretty safely assume those two are clear then.”

“Nice! Thanks, Vera!”

“Was anyone else with another person? For any amount of time?”

I looked over at Estrella and Aeja. They were looking anywhere but at each other, avoiding eye contact like it was the Black Plague. I pitied the two. I debated whether or not I should admit I saw them. But before I could, the conversation topic changed.

- - -

“So, I don’t suppose anyone checked the weaponry room, did they?”

“Yes, I did, in fact.”

“Oh! See anything, Katelyn?”

“No, actually. Nothing was out of place, so it seems nothing has moved since our last investigation.”

“Oh, that’s odd...”

“...hey, Vera? Didn't you say you thought about checking the kitchen?”

She nods.

“Did you get a chance to?”

She nodded again, starting to write. I suppose writing is easier then having everything translated.

Yes. One knife was in the rack still, but bloodied, so we can assume a kitchen knife is what severed his hand. And I also noticed a glass while I was there, one that still had ice in it. Which means...

“Someone only put it back this morning?”

She nods.

- - -

“Estrella, you’ve been pretty quiet.”

“Hm? Oh, sorry. I just didn’t feel like wasting my breath on you.”

“Wow, rude.”

“Really? Quite honestly Sara, I hadn’t cared to notice.”

“What’s up with you? You’ve been in a pretty good mood since the whole-”

“Yeah, well, things change, People change. Or rather, they don’t. See, I was trying to be a but nicer, but after a certain incident I realised that- well, who am I kidding? I’ve built this role for myself, and I’m never gonna be able to shake it off, so might as well live up to it.”

She folds her arms.

“I’m the evil leader that’s only here to confuse and irritate people. I’m the walking embodiment of a bad joke! So, if you plan on figuring out who stabbed Spy Kid over there, I suggest you shut the fuck up and keep going with the trial.”

Sara just looked away, slightly disheartened.

“I thought we’d become friends now... Aren’t we friends?”

“Do you really want to be friends with someone like me?”

- - -

“Well, let’s get back to alibis, since we don’t have much to go off. Where was everyone? Alone, or with someone else?”

“I- like I said earlier, I was with Vera.”

“Right. Karma?”

“I was alone. I stayed up a bit late though, so I only woke up when the body announcement went off.”

“Ok. Kassidy?”

“I-I said goodbye to Kamron and then went back to my room... I went asleep pretty quickly.”

“Alright. Katelyn?”

“Unlike almost everyone here, I have an alibi. I stayed in Aspen’s room last night, then went back to mine and got changed. I was up before the announcement, so-”

“Wait a sec.”

“Hm? Something wrong, Aspen?”

“Katelyn... you never came to my room last night.”

- - -

“Katelyn..? Care to defend yourself?”

“Wh- oh, shut up, copycat. Have you not even considered your dear girlfriend over there? You should have seen her face when we saw the body! She didn’t even look surprised, she looked like she already knew! She-”

“That’s because I did.”

“...what?”

“Estrella, what do you mean by-?”

“Isn't it obvious, Mr No Talent? I saw the murder happen. I was on my way back to my room when I heard a fight, so I went to check it out, and... well, I simply decided to not give him a hand, haha!”

“Really?! You're serious?”

“Most likely.”

“Well, who did it?”

“I thought that was obvious, too. I decided not to tell you because I’m pissed off! I’m a petty bitch, as you know, and as such I decided to let this play out.”

“Estrella, stop being childish-”

“DON’T talk to me about childish, Aeja! I’m not the one who tried to hang them self when they got scared!”

The room fell horribly silent. Aeja looked away, and Estrella reached up to her own cheek, where her cut was. Something started to click into place.

“Wait, Aeja tried to-”

“Fine then, Estrella. If you're going to be like that, shut up and dont disrupt this trial. This isn't about our business, it’s about finding Kamron’s killer. So, now that we’re back on topic and abandoning that last conversation... Katelyn? Aspen?”

Aspen looked at Katelyn, who didn’t meet his eyes.

“K-Katelyn? Kate? Please, please tell me you just got mixed up. You got mixed up, right? Yeah. Yeah!”

“...Aspen.”

“...no. No, no, no, please don’t say it.”

- - -

“Why? Why did you do it, Katelyn?”

“I- Hayden. You have to understand, I hold my parents in... very high regard. He was insulting them, insulting me! I-I couldn’t just let that stand. I got mad, so I- I got a knife from the kitchen and went back, just to threaten him! I never planned on actually hurting him... but I guess he panicked, and he lunged at me. So I panicked, and- I accidentally-”

“...chopped his hand off.”

“...If I could go back in time, I would change what I did. But, it’s in the past now. I... this shouldn't have happened, I know.”

“...you can’t be serious, right Katelyn? Right?! It was Estrella. Yeah, it was! You’re just covering for her because- because- you don't wanna watch the same execution again!”

���...no.”

“...this doesn’t compute. There’s something wrong here, right? RIGHT?!”

- - -

“Well, Hayden, I do not wish to put up a fight. Care to unravel this case?”

That quickly? Hm...

“Ok. This- *sigh*.”

This all starts... Last night, I believe. The killer was out in the corridor with Kamron, with whom they hadn't interacted, until the killer made some off-handed comment about their parents, which caught Kamron’s attention. He started talking about the parents of the other participants, including the killer’s. They seemed to have a particular distaste for their parents, particularly their deceased father, for reasons unknown, as they started to slander them, insulting them and the killer. The killer, enraged by this, leaves Kamron there and goes to the kitchen. They grab a knife, which they must have thought was blunt, to threaten him. However, when they got there, Kamron saw the weapon in their hand and panicked. They tried to lunge for the killer, but was swiftly cut off- literally- as the killer also panics and swings the knife with unusual force. This blow, to their dismay, manages to cut off Kamron’s hand. He stumbles backwards and collapsed, bleeding out. The killer, panicking, returns to their room. They stash the weapon and go straight to bed, trying to act natural. 

They wake up slightly earlier than everyone else to hide the evidence. They wake up a bit too late though, and don't have as much time as they thought to clean the weapon. They simply slip it back into the knife rack and grab a quick drink, before heading back to their room. Five minutes later, they hear me scream and run outside, ‘finding’ the body along with me and two others.

That’s what happened, and our killer is...

Katelyn Momota, the Ultimate Psychiatrist!

“...it sounds so horrible when it’s repeated back to me. But, I must face the facts. I’m-”

- - -

*mumbling*

“Aspen? Did you say somethi-”

“WHAT DID YOU DO?!”

“ ! ”

“I told you not to get mad! I told you not to hurt anyone, and look what you did! You’ve... you’ve gone and killed someone, and now I’m going to lose you. I’m gonna lose you, Katelyn!”

“Aspen... Aspen, no. You can’t be upset over me, ok? I’m a killer now. I’m a bad person here.”

“No you’re not! I don’t care what you’ve done, you’re still special to me! I-I can’t lose you! Please don’t go... please...”

Aspen was doubled over on himself, and... I think he was crying oil? 

“I didn’t know the robot could cry-”

“Shut up, Estrella.”

Katelyn looked genuinely confused and concerned. She shook her head.

“No, you... you’re not supposed to be upset over me. You... you shouldn’t be upset over me. You can’t.”

Aspen and Katelyn finally locked eyes. Neither said anything for a moment. Eventually, Katelyn sighed.

“I... I know there is no escaping my fate. But... I wish to do one more thing before I am killed. Monokuma, may I? I will make no attempt to escape.”

Monokuma shrugged.

“Sure, knock yourself out. ...wait, what are you doing?”

And suddenly, Katelyn was running. Not to the exit, not to Aspen, but to...

“...Eh-?! GAH-!”

Katelyn was on her knees either side of a now toppled over Estrella, with her hands around Estrella’s neck. Estrella was grabbing at Katelyn’s Arms, trying to free herself. She was being strangled.

“You BITCH! I should have wasted my damn murder on you!”

“KATELYN!”

“ESTRELLA!”

Two people ran over; Aspen and Aeja. Aeja reached them first, full on jumping at Katelyn and pushing her off Estrella. Aspen helped Estrella sit up, the girl in question being purple in the face and gasping for air. Aeja had Katelyn pinned by her wrists.

“Hah... hah...” 

Estrella looked over at the girls, panting. She looked between them, and I couldn't tell which person confused her more. She nodded at Aspen, trying to stand herself up.

“Katelyn... the fuck?!”

“You... you know what you did to me, you bitch!”

After a moment, Estrella took a deep breath and grinned, placing her arms behind her head.

“Of course I do! And I don’t regret it either, you know. I’m glad I did!”

Katelyn literally growled, and suddenly she shoved Aeja off her, standing up. Estrella jumped a bit, backing up. Aeja looked at Monokuma.

“Monokuma- MONOKUMA!”

Even Monokuma looked surprised at the whole outburst, but he quickly resumed normal behaviour.

“I have a very special punishment for Katelyn Momota, Ultimate Psychiatr- SHIT-!”

With Katelyn quickly approaching Aspen, Monokuma slammed his hammer down on his button.

“Wait- Katelyn!”

[tomanytwstotype]

My abortion

I would like to start this with a disclaimer. This is my personal experience with abortion, my personal feelings, my personal reasons. This will contain descriptions of medical procedures and surgical abortions. Please do not read if you are not okay with this. This may not be copied and pasted anywhere without my explicit consent, nor is it allowed to be used as Pro Life propaganda. I always have been and remain Pro Choice.

I was 19 years old, and had just moved into my new apartment with my boyfriend and two roommates. Life was going pretty damn good and I was planning my first ever vacation! What I didn’t know at the time was, I was about four weeks pregnant.

I had a very irregular period, so when it was a few days late, I didn’t pay much attention. It would show up eventually and ruin another pair of underwear. Another week and a half went by, and I started to worry. Was I sick? Did I have another ovarian cyst? It didn’t cross my mind I might be pregnant, I always used protection. It was my boyfriend who suggested the test. I decided to humor him the next morning and take it. I had taken a test before, so it wasn’t a big deal to me. What can I say, I was an idiot in 12th grade.

Anyway, pee on the stick and wait three minutes with the test on a flat surface. The floor worked for me, not like I really cared. Except it didn’t take three minutes, the second line showed up seconds after the first. I just kind of sat there, I didn’t even get off the toilet. You know in all those shitty writing pieces when they talk about your mouth going dry, that actually happens. When  I finally stopped be completely immobile, I stood up and took the test back to the room where my boyfriend was, half asleep.

I sat down, quiet for a few seconds. “I’m Pregnant”. I wish I could explain the look he gave me. Sort of a “Are you joking holy fuck what if she isnt joking jesus christ” kind of look. “I’m serious”. Like all the movies, on the dot, he asks me what I’m going to do. The fuck if I know dude. So I message my roommate and ask her to come to the living room. I don’t break it to her lightly. “I’m pregnant”. Again, another, what are you going to do. Again, fuck if I know.

We decide calling my local women’s center is the go, the plan. Bad Plan. Hindsite is 20/20 though right? Anyway my boyfriend went back to bed because as you can see he takes this whole thing really seriously. My friend and I hop in the Uber and head to the clinic. I fill out forms, and pee in a cup. Hey surprise, I’m pregnant, who would have guessed it. They schedule me a week out for an ultrasound and send me on my merry way with a bag containing hard candy for morning sickness, and a baby hat.

Fast forward a few days, and “Morning” sickness is keeping me in bed all day. Go me. My boyfriend hasn’t wanted to talk about it, so yay men for the win again. Oh and the best part, he’s leaving in a day to got to Michigan for 9 days. He takes me shopping for things I’ll need while he’s gone. To bad they don’t sell supportive men there. The morning he has to leave comes and I break down. I sob for the last two hours I got to spend with him, knowing that I will be alone all week. It is hard to be alone and pregnant. He will miss the first ultrasound, he promises to stay in touch. He does not. He does not call me after the ultrasound and he does not show excitement when I tell him the baby is healthy. Seeing the baby makes me feel a sort of way I can’t put into words. Am I A mother? The kind women around me praise me. “You will be a great mother” “you are so amazing”. I cry at their kindness, one tells me she thinks the baby will be a girl.

I spend the week alone, writing notes to my baby and fighting with her father on the phone. It hurts my heart. My roommates pile into my boyfriends new car and drive two hours to go get him from the airport. I don’t puke, somehow. I hug him so tightly when I see him. We go out to dinner, I show him my ultrasound. He does not seem interested. We get home, I finally make him talk to me. If you have ever had an unplanned pregnancy you may know the routine. It is my choice (I’m not ready to be a dad) i will support you no matter what (you should get an abortion) “What do you want me to do” He doesn’t answer me. I know what his silence means.

I make it till September, till I am no longer strong enough to fight the feeling that he will no longer love me  if I keep this baby. That I will be left alone, and I can not do alone. Except I do alone anyway. I shut down and go into defense mode, I lie to myself. i cannot be a mother, I don’t want children. I force us to an appointment with an OBGYN I could not bring myself to cancel. He does not smile when they find a heartbeat. I cry that night. I harm myself that night.

The night before the procedure I end up in the hospital. I am dehydrated. I cannot tell them what I am going to do tomorrow. I am on the list for appointments to get a sonogram. I sit silently while she looks for the fetus. I have stopped calling it a baby. It moves and I try not to cry. I leave and go home. While my friend who is to drive me sleeps and my boyfriend sleeps, I consider running away. I wake the next morning and force myself into the car.

Skipping the boring details, I start to cry when I reach the room that I will become unpregnant in. I strip down and cry. I tell my boyfriend mean things and I tell him I hate him. Two women calm me down. The shot doesn’t hurt  that much. They hand me my stuffed snow leopard. It hurts and I cry more. It doesn’t take long, but the pain is killing me inside. I am taken to a room full of chairs, I drink and eat and a nurse measures my vitals. I go home, and I bleed for weeks.

I regret my abortion. I wish I had never had it, I wish I would have had my baby. I hold anger and resentment towards my boyfriend. Her name would have been rosalie. I write to her sometimes. I am still pro choice but I believe I made the wrong choice. I am empty and I dont know how to make it hurt less. I am empty.

[theyrealllegends]

Careful (Roger Taylor x Reader)

Chapter Summary: You’re not the only one who’s developing feelings but Roger is too, trying to have you close to him at first, but then he’s trying to forget you over way too much scotch. This is how both of you get sick and he takes care of you again. 

Author’s Note: It’s Roger’s POV in this chapter, yeeet! (Please don’t @ me I can’t tell you why and if you don’t like it I’ll never attempt it again, I promise)

Words: ~2k

Warnings: I’d rate this mature because (and this is a spoiler) someone’s masturbating aaand there’s drinking again and eventually someone has to throw up

Chapter 4

Previous Parts: Ch. 1, Ch. 2, Ch. 3

I couldn’t fall asleep that night because Tiffany never left my head: her reddish-blonde curls, her incredibly green eyes, her lips for fucks sake - I needed that. I craved being close to her, to feel her, to hear her breath like I’d never wanted anything else. The boys had noticed that I was hitting my drums harder than I usually did while messing up their rhythms and I knew that they knew that something was off but they wouldn’t mention it if I got myself under control before our next gig tomorrow night. I just didn’t see how that was possible, when I was now here, lying awake and only the thought of Tiffany’s voice made my whole stomach feel light, in the best way possible. I had no idea how long I’d been staring in the dark but I was seriously contemplating to go out and either get drunk or find some girl to do whatever it took to distract myself. I just couldn’t let myself think about what I’d do to her if she hadn’t been this innocent little princess I saw, every time I looked at her. Even though only my refusal to think of that was enough to give me a hard one, already. I swallowed hard as I carefully touched myself and I stopped trying to shake the thought of her because I knew I couldn’t while I was masturbating - what would it feel like to bury myself in her body, feel her skinny, yet strong legs wrap around me and see her losing herself in my thrusts. God, I just wanted her to feel as good as she made me feel when I got into the kitchen to a prepared breakfast, when I didn’t feel like a dumbass because she’d make me study and when I managed to make her laugh. I gripped on my own hair at the thought of her laugh, trying to imagine it were her tiny hand and her skinny fingers pulling on the strands while I held back a moan. Tiffany Abberforth was the most precious human being on this planet and I’d have to protect her with my whole life, I knew that for a fact. 

*-*-*-*-*-*-*

“You wanna join me tonight?”, I asked her, when I met her in the kitchen the next morning. Probably I was being selfish to try and get her out of the comfort of our flat, but I wanted her to be closer to me anytime. She was reading some book like the smart girl she was but she put it away as soon as I tried to talk to her. 

“Where are you going?”

“The boys and I have a gig and I thought - since you’re freed now - you might like…?”

“Are you trying to make me drunk two out of three nights in a row?”, she called me out in a joking tune and it made me smile to see her that relaxed. 

“Of course not, but I’d like you around me two out of three nights in a row.” Damn, she had no idea what she did to me when she blushed. She looked down at her hands, seemingly battling herself to a decision. “No pressure, Tiffy, if you’re there, you’re there and if not I’ll still play for you.”

“You know it’s not because I don’t want to hear you play, right, Rog?”

“Do I?”, I asked and leaned my head to the side a little too let her know I wasn’t completely serious. 

“I can’t see myself enjoying your show in a huge crowd at all, it scares me, especially since I wouldn’t know anyone watching you, too and I - “

“You can join us for our rehearsal on Friday, if you prefer that.”

“That’s perfect”, she immediately agreed and I felt great about it. It relieved the thought of being rejected, at least. 

“We can have dinner after, if you’d like.”

“We always have dinner, Rog.”

“No, I mean, you and me - and the boys if we can’t get rid of them - having dinner in a restaurant, if you’d like.” Now I was the one blushing, I feared, as she looked at me in surprise. 

“Yeah, I think I’d like that”, she said after a moment and I smiled at her. 

“Me too, Tiffy.”

*-*-*-*-*-*-*

I knew I shouldn’t really - even though there wasn’t anything exclusive about Tiffany and me, there wasn’t a “we” if it came to anything else than talking about our shared flat situation, but I still felt guilty and like I wasn’t supposed to let all the girls approach me after our gig. 

“Hey there, sweet boy”, one of them purred, “How you doing, love?”, the other one said and “You did so amazing!”, I heard a third one while they really gave me a hard time to move forward, just trying to get to the bar behind Brian. Their hands were all over me and I was glad I didn’t wear something too showing or open, even, and it wasn’t that I didn’t like it, I just felt like it wasn’t fair. I wasn’t looking for anything they had to give me, instead I was trying to figure out which of them reminded me the most of Tiffany, really, and I knew that was just wrong. 

“Thanks, girls, but let me have a drink first, would you?”

Of course I ended up buying the three of them drinks and I hated to admit it, but it was kind of a given that I went outside “to smoke”, only to make out with one of them, finally letting go of the thought of Tiffany’s emerald green eyes. I didn’t enjoy the night at the girl’s place - as if the universe wanted to punish me, really, for drinking myself into a state where I didn’t only forget about the girl’s - or Tiffany’s - name but also about my own, to a state where I didn’t care about anything anymore, trying to find relieve in it. I couldn’t even remember the sex for the love of god, only assuming it was good, by how the girl was cuddled against me, how our clothes were all over the floor. But the mattress woke me up, squeaking and poking into my back, which didn’t make the pain in my head any better. I just stumbled to grab my clothes and left, unable to look back at the girl or respond when she called for me, only heading for the door. I didn’t know if it was the alcohol or the hole situation getting the best of me, but I didn’t make it really far without throwing up and horribly cursing myself. I’d done dumb things but they didn’t really compare to last night. 

Also, when I got home, there was light in the kitchen. It was an early morning and I knew, Tiffany was one to get up before sunrise but couldn’t that girl let herself get some rest once? She was reaching for the medicine cabinet, when I stepped into the kitchen, feeling her eyes on me and suddenly realising that I could easily be covered in my own vomit, if I was as unlucky as I felt that moment. 

“You need help?”, I asked nonetheless and the worry in her eyes got wilder as she heard my hoarse voice. 

“Where have you been?”

“I couldn’t tell you her name, even if I wanted to and I really shouldn’t have gone”, I tried to explain, unable to lie to her, or stand her quizzing look another second. “I feel sick, man, I had way too much scotch last night.” What would I do next, call her “mate”? This is really a great way to safe your ass out of this situation, seriously, keep going, Taylor, you’re doing great. 

“Makes two of us, though”, Tiffany murmured and stepped away, acknowledging that she was a bit too tiny to reach the pain killers. I reached up, to hand them to her, unable to look her way - mostly because I was really aware of the bad taste in my mouth and I didn’t want her to smell me in the end. 

“What’s wrong, love?”, I still asked, scared that she wasn’t alright. 

“I get sick after every exam period, really and here I am, coming down with a fever.”

“Then, hush, to bed!”, I said, grabbing her to make her move and tug her in, before I could escape into the bathroom. “I’ll make you tea and get you soup, you just stay there, you hear me?”, I rambled in the process of getting her into her bed. I started brushing my teeth, while I went into the kitchen to put some tea water to a boil and looked through the cabinets for soup, realising I’d have to pick some up at the store. That wasn’t half bad in the end, because it forced to make myself look somewhat decent and I could get new cigarettes, cheese and toast at the store too, so I could at least eat some terrible breakfast when I came back to find Tiffany asleep. 

I prepared the soup as it said on the pack and carefully carried it to her night stand, before I sat down next to Tiffany and softly ran my fingers over her face to make her wake up. Her skin was really clean and soft, but it felt hot to a point that I wished I knew a doctor, a better one than myself, for sure. 

“Wake up, sweet girl, you need to get your soup down, so you’ll get better.” She smiled at me weakly and tried to move to a sitting position, so she could cuddle against her bed’s headboard and slowly eat the soup I held for her. I watched her eat in silence while I sat next to her, my legs crossed on her mattress, realising I should turn her heater up for a start. The tea water had gotten cold while I was gone so I reheated it, to finally make the tea she needed and I looked at her in her bed critically, while she sipped it. “Tiffy, do you want me to get you more pillows?”, I asked because it was kind of impossible that I had more pillows than she did, right? She giggled at me and moved her head for me to come closer. 

“Rog, you’re acting like my mom - worse, actually, because she doesn’t consider you sick as long as your bones aren’t broken.”

“But -“

“I just need to rest, don’t worry”, she didn’t let me interrupt her. “You should go, so I don’t infect you.”

“I won’t leave you alone, unless that was your attempt to kick me out.”

“No, it wasn’t”, she explained and I felt relieved. She didn’t seem to be angry at me or the way I’d spent my night and that made me feel a little less sick. 

“Good, then”, I said and slipped under her covers. Her eyes were on me, looking a little shocked, otherwise just intensely focused on me, as I moved towards her to rest her head on one of my arms and spoon her. “You fine, love?”

“Yes, but you don’t have to -“

“But I want to”, I whispered into the back of her neck. 

“Thank you”, she murmured, shifting around a little to get the most comfortable.

“I was worried, when you didn’t come home.”

“I’m so sorry, Tiff”, I told her again, honestly. “I really shouldn’t have gone.”

“Glad you realised that”, she mumbled and it made me chuckle a little. Her breathing became slower and deeper when she feel asleep and I hummed one of the songs, the boys and I were working on, to fasten up the process, until I eventually fell asleep as well. 

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