#i should be like them+i can’t be like them and i’m terrified of them+i would let them keep me in that corner and shove food in their mouth
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ttodorokiii · 3 days ago
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aaa soft yan!shouto with a yaoyorozu!reader ‼️ reader likes him back but tries to stop him from courting them because they knew momo liked him ;(
warnings: yándèrè, guílt, mánípùlátíòn, íntènsè.
note. LOLLL HI GUYS. Enjoy this if you can I’ll try to be more active here!!!!
•••
You have always known how much your older sister, Momo, cares for Shouto.
You love your sister so much and you could never come between him and her…
But now, as you stand in the quiet corner of the living room, watching Shouto talk to Momohis attention never fully on her, but drawn toward you with an intensity you’ve never seen before the weight of what’s happening presses down on you like a crushing weight.
You like him too. You feel it in the way your heart races when he’s near, the flutter in your chest when his monochromatic eyes catch yours. It’s always been subtle at first, just a passing thought that you pushed aside, thinking it was nothing. But it’s undeniable now. He looks at you like he sees no one else. Like you’re the only one that matters.
And it terrifies you.
Because you know. You know that Momo has feelings for him,
feelings that have never been confessed but are still there, hidden beneath the surface. You know what it would do to her if she found out. And you can’t—no, you won’t—be the one to destroy her heart.
So, you try. You try with every ounce of willpower you have to push Shouto away. When he gets too close,
you step back. When he smiles at you, you turn your gaze elsewhere. You refuse to let your feelings show, afraid that the moment they do, it will ruin everything.
“YN,” he says your name with such quiet affection that your breath hitches. You look up at him, and your heart does a strange, painful twist. He’s standing too close again. “I’ve been thinking… about us.”
Your stomach churns at the thought of what he might say. But it’s more than just that.
It’s his presence, his gaze, the way he watches you like you’re the only thing in the world that matters. It’s suffocating. It makes you feel trapped, like there’s nowhere to hide.
“I don’t want to make you uncomfortable, but…” He pauses, his expression softening, a rare vulnerability in his eyes. “I can’t stop thinking about you.”
Your heart skips, but your mind races. “Shouto…” You bite your lip, your thoughts frantic. You can’t let this go any further. Momo can’t know.
“I’m sorry,” you say quickly, trying to steady your voice. “I can’t—It’s not right. You… you shouldn’t be thinking like that. Momo she, she likes you, Shouto. You should be with her.”
He watches you, and for a long moment, you swear his eyes darken,
like the cool blue has melted into something dangerous. But when he speaks again, his voice is gentle, almost soothing.
“Momo’s feelings don’t matter,” he says, his voice low, a hint of something darker behind it. “Not compared to what I feel for you.”
How dare he say that?
You feel a chill run down your spine as he takes a slow step closer. There’s a possessiveness in his tone now, something you hadn’t heard before. It’s like a whisper in the back of your mind, a warning. He doesn’t care about Momo. He cares about you.
“I know you’re trying to protect her,” he continues, his voice almost too soft. “But I’m not going to stop, YN. I won’t let you push me away. You’re mine.”
The words hit you like a shockwave, and your breath catches in your throat. There’s something in his eyes, something that has shifted—he’s not just the quiet, kind Shouto you once admired from afar. He’s something darker now. Something possessive.
“I know you’re scared. But I’ll make sure you’re never alone again,” he adds, the promise in his tone unsettling, like it’s something he’s determined to fulfill no matter the cost.
You take a step back, your heart pounding in your chest. “No, Shouto. You don’t understand. Momo, she’s my sister. She loves you. You can’t just—”
“I don’t care about that,” he interrupts, stepping closer again, his presence suffocating. “You’re the one I want. And I’ll make sure you know that, YN.”
He cuts you off, you don’t know how to make him understand someone like him could never understand…
You can barely breathe as he stands in front of you now, his body close enough that you can feel the heat of him,
Your mind is racing, torn between the love you feel for Shouto and the guilt that gnaws at you for betraying Momo. You can’t do this to her. You can’t.
But his eyes—those eyes—are burning into you now, and the way he looks at you makes it feel like there’s no way out. It’s like he’s inside your mind, pulling at all your insecurities, your fears, your desires, until there’s nothing left but him.
“I’m not going to stop, YN. Don’t fight me,” he says softly, his voice almost a whisper, and you shiver. The way he says your name, it’s a declaration. A promise.
You want to push him away. You want to scream at him to stop. You want to protect Momo, to keep the fragile peace between the two of you intact. But you can’t.
You can’t fight him, not when he’s looking at you like this. Not when he’s making it clear that he won’t let you go.
“I don’t want to hurt her,” you whisper, your voice breaking. “I can’t be the reason she’s in pain.”
But Shouto just looks at you, his expression unreadable, and says one thing, his voice as cold as ice yet burning with something else.
“She’ll get over it. You’re mine now.”
And it’s in that moment you realize,
the longer you resist, the deeper his obsession grows. He’s not going to let you go. No matter what you do, no matter how hard you try to protect Momo, Shouto’s not going to stop.
And you wonder, with a sinking heart, if you’ve already lost.
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fanfictionstuff · 1 day ago
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Amaimon and The Exorcist 4
So, I'm going to write two versions of a Lewin x reader fic, one a bit more sensual but SFW, and the other more comical. They should be out by Monday. - If you have any Blue Exorcist requests, feel free to send them my way. Male character x fem reader.
“He’s becoming attached to you. You need to nip it in the bud now.” Seti warns, jumping onto your bed. You turn your back to him, annoyed. “I’m exhausted; I know you are too. Let’s just sleep. It can wait until tomorrow.” You complain, moving to the side of the bed to leave the fox a bit of space. It’s too early to fall asleep, but you're exhausted after being woken so early. You don’t want to wait another few hours.
“Every minute you take brushing it off, he’ll grow more attached. Call Mephisto.”
“You’re exaggerating; I’ll call him tomorrow.”
“_____.” Seti warns, but you’re too exhausted. “Come on, Seti, let’s just go to sleep. I promise it’ll be fine until tomorrow.”
You’re jolted awake the next day by a knock at the door. Checking the time, you see it’s just before seven. With a groan, you drag yourself out of bed. Though you’ve managed to get twelve hours of sleep, you still feel utterly exhausted. As you enter the living room to answer the door, something interesting catches your eye on the sofa. You take a couple of steps back. “Hey, hot Seti is back," you remark. Seti snarls at you in response. “Shut up, idiot.” Your fox familiar is perched on the sofa, appearing as a man with tanned skin and shaggy blond hair that matches the large fox ears atop his head. You know there’s a fluffy fox tail behind him as well. He’s dressed in an old t-shirt and your oversized basketball shorts. “Are those my clothes?”
“Would you rather I walk around naked?”
“Why are you even like this?” You motion to his form.
“You’re about to see—it’s your boyfriend at the door.” Just then, there’s another knock as Seti speaks. You nod and open the door. “Amaimon, could you please wait until at least nine before coming over?” You stifle a yawn.
Amaimon doesn’t even respond to you; his attention is instantly on the fox sitting on your sofa. A terrifying snarl appears on his face at the sight of Seti. “Amaimon?” You question nervously.
Seti rolls his eyes at the king’s reaction. “I told you, idiot.” Your gaze shifts from Amaimon to Seti; Seti remains relaxed on the sofa despite the angry Earth King. “Kill me, and you’ll never have a chance with her,” he comments casually, scrolling through various movie options on the TV. “He’s too attached _____.”
“Uh, Amaimon, please calm down. Seti is like my brother.”
“I feel more like a parent since I always have to look after you. You behave like an annoying teenager who won’t listen.” You frown at the fox. “I’m not a teenager.”
“Then stop acting like one. Amaimon, _____ is weak; she isn’t worth the trouble. Just leave and find someone who is worth your time.” He glanced back at Amaimon over his shoulder. “I promise you, she’s not worth it.”
As you begin to speak, a piercing glare from Seti silences you. I can’t believe he said that. While he isn’t wrong—compared to Amaimon, you’re extremely weak. You can’t even dream of being on his level, as that would be pointless. But did he really have to express it that way?
Amaimon pauses, his anger fading as he turns to meet you with a strangely blank stare. “You’re weak?” you frown and nod. “Compared to you? Absolutely.”
He tilts his head, appearing to contemplate the situation, and you brace yourself for his departure, thinking that a demon king like him wouldn’t be interested in someone so much weaker. You suppress the sting of disappointment—not because you’re necessarily falling for him, but because the notion that someone might discard you for lacking power is genuinely painful.
Seti turns on the sofa, propping his head on his hand against the backrest, prepared to watch the demon king depart.
Both of you wait calmly, though you feel a slight worry that he might decide to kill you just for being weak.
He speaks in an emotionless tone. “You’re weak, so you need someone to protect you.”
“...Huh?"
Seti narrows his eyes. "That’s what I’m here for, King of Earth.”
Amaimon blinks, his face remaining expressionless. "But I’m her boyfriend, so it should be my responsibility to protect her, right?”
Your head snaps to Seti, but he appears just as shocked as you. He recovers more quickly than you do.  He glares at you. “This is what happens when you ignore me, idiot.” He then snaps something in his long-forgotten native language. Although you can't understand his words, you are sure he's saying something regarding how stupid you are. Possibly worse going off his expression.
Seti stands up and quickly makes his way toward the front door. “Uh, Seti, where are you going?”
“He hasn’t even been here five minutes, and I’ve already got a headache.” He then addresses Amaimon. “You want to be the weak human’s boyfriend? Be my guest.” Then the asshole walks out the open door.
In disbelief, you shift your gaze from the door Seti exited to Amaimon, then back again. That asshole. How could he insult you like that and then abandon you alone with the demon king?
“______, kiss me.”
“At least take me on a date first, damn.”
“…okay. Where?”
“…I don’t know.”
“So, you can kiss me until you think of something?”
“You know what? Sure. Let me go brush my teeth and change my clothes.”
You quickly step into the bathroom to brush your teeth and make yourself look a bit more put together. You wash your face, brush your hair, and take care of a couple of other tasks to feel more presentable. Finishing up in the bathroom, you head to your bedroom to get something comfortable.
Amaimon waits patiently for you in the living room. As you enter, he steps closer, but you raise your hand to push him back gently. “I’ve thought of something," you say. Amaimon frowns. "I want a kiss," Sensing that the demon king might become a bit of an asshole if he doesn’t get his way, you quickly press your lips against his cheek. “There you go,” you say, and as you pull away, your eyes widen. Gently, you lift your hand to brush against his left cheek. “Even a kiss on the cheek, huh?” A faint blush spreads across his face once again.  “I’m surprised by how sensitive your vessel is. How old is it?” Amaimon glances to the side like he’s trying to remember. “Nineteen or twenty, I think.” Your eyes widen at this new information, but then it makes sense. His body is essentially an eighteen-year-old virgin. “That’s why you’re so sensitive; you’ve never been touched in this vessel.” You share with him since he seems confused by the reaction.
“Does that mean you’ve never been touched?”
“Huh?”
A clawed finger pokes your cheek. “You are blushing, too.”
Seti was right when he said he’s more like a parent than a brother to you. When you first came to True Cross, you were initially excited about the freedom it offered. However, you quickly realized there was no freedom to be had; Seti was much stricter than your parents. You rarely had time to spend with friends, let alone a boyfriend. It wasn’t until the last couple of years that he eased up enough for you to have a social life. Unfortunately, thanks to him, you became too socially awkward to start being social. So yes, you’re in the same boat as Amaimon’s vessel.
“No, I’m not.” You deny; if you can’t see it, you can easily deny it.
“Really?”
You nod.
Amaimon steps forward and presses his lips against yours, reminiscent of last night. He kisses you with curiosity and intensity, his warm lips exploring yours. It's not a passionate kiss; instead, it feels like an investigation, as if he's trying to gauge your reactions through this simple act. As he pulls away, a rush of conflicting emotions washes over you. His touch lingers on your cheek for a moment before he steps back. 
"You're lying," Amaimon's tone is blunt. "Your body doesn't lie, _____." 
You try to keep your composure, crossing your arms defensively. "I'm not... affected by your kisses at all." 
Amaimon raises a brow. “We should test it."
He leans in closer, his lips almost touching yours once again. This time, the kiss lingers, a gentle pressure that sends a delightful shiver down your spine. His touch is light as a feather against your skin, prompting you to close your eyes, unable to resist the overwhelming sensation. When he pulls back slightly, his gaze remains locked on you, searching for any sign of your reaction.
"You're enjoying this," Amaimon bluntly states. 
You groan, pushing him away. “It would be weird if I didn’t enjoy kisses from my boyfriend.” 
Amaimon nods. “Yes. That’s true.” 
As he steps forward to draw you into another kiss, you extend your hand, halting him. “I thought I told you to at least take me on a date.”
---------------------------------------------- 
“Did you tell that damned earth king he can have ______?” Seti snarls, stepping into Mephisto’s office. 
The King of Time lifts his head, slightly surprised to see the humid fox. “Of course not. I simply instructed him to leave her alone after she finishes introducing him to the customs of Assiah during this time period, primarily in Japan. Much has changed since his last visit.” 
“So, tell me why he’s claimed her as his.”  
“He what?”  
“Amaimon bluntly stated, ‘_____ is my girlfriend,’ and added, ‘Big Brother said I can have you.’”  
“Well, as long as Miss ____ turned him down, it shouldn’t be a problem.” 
“She didn’t.”  
Mephisto’s eyes widened. “Oh dear, and why wouldn’t Miss ____ turn him down? It’s odd she accepted; you didn’t warn her otherwise?” 
“Someone told her Amaimon has a short attention span and that he’ll move on within a few days.” 
Mephisto lets out an exaggerated sigh. “I didn’t instruct Miss _____ to agree to any requests he might make beyond learning about Assiah. My only request was for her to introduce him to the modern world. Knowing Amaimon, he will most likely get bored and move on within a month.” 
“You can’t be certain of that.” 
"Indeed, regrettably, Miss _____ has restricted herself to only two potential outcomes concerning her relationship with Amaimon. While we hope for the best, should he develop an obsession with her, we can only wish that she reciprocates his feelings. If not, this could lead to a toxic yandere dynamic."
Seti’s face twisted in disgust. "Must you use such ridiculous terms when discussing something so important?” 
Mephisto smirks. "Alright, let’s hope Amaimon doesn’t become a clingy, delusional, and manipulative sadist.”
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imagionationstation · 11 hours ago
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51 💉 with 2003 Don and Leo! :)
💉 -> I know you hate needles but you need this!
“RAPH!”
When Leo had seen that briefcase under Leatherhead’s arm, he hadn’t gotten the chance to ask him about it. He barely gave it any notice, a meaningless glint of silver in Leatherhead’s claw when his brother was standing beside him, confused and smiling and normal.
He should have asked. He should have questioned him immediately.
What’s that saying? Hindsight is twenty-twenty?
“MIKEY!”
Leatherhead hadn’t said a word about it. Not until Donnie changed. Not until they got to see first-hand how a turtle turns into a beast.
They’d called Leatherhead to the lair in their panic.
And watched as it took three injections to bring their brother back.
“OVER HERE!”
“It don’t understand,” He’d whispered weakly, tired and sore. Four hours of fighting. Two hours of calming his family. More unending nightmares of raising a weapon to a brother, “He was better.”
“Bishop feared it would not be permanent,” Leatherhead admitted as he laid the vials on the table. “I did not want to scare you.”
But he did. They’d been scared. They were still scared. They were…
Leo was scared, every time his brother’s eyes took a demonizing tint.
“WATCH OUT!”
Leo tackles his brother to the floor, ignoring the animalistic snarls as he jabs the needle into his neck. The pitch shoots up into a screech, muscles quivering and bones cracking as the body contorts beneath him. The pain transforms into a wail that only trails off once the job is done, and Leo’s brother is now in his arms.
He’s sobbing as he squirms in his embrace, trying to get distance between them. Leo doesn’t blame him. He doesn’t release either.
“I can’t do it.” He’d whispered when Leo’d caught him trying to sneak out with the vials. “I can’t do this anymore.”
“I know you hate needles but you need this.”
“It’s not that. It’s not. It’s- It’s like acid. Like I’m pumping lava directly into my blood.” Donnie’d shuddered. “It’s like dying.”
“It’s supposed to help you.”
“It feels like it’s killing me.”
“You’re not going to die.”
“I almost wish I was.” He stared blankly at the vials in Leo’s hand, but he wouldn’t look at him. “Then it’d be over.”
“Please.” He gasps, “Please, please, please.”
“You’ll be okay.” Leo keeps the hold firm. “Be still. It’ll pass. It’ll pass.”
“No, no, no,” Donnie’s eyes are full of life again, desperate and glazed and looking at Leo like a brother should when he raised a blade or a tranquilizer gun to him. When he puts him through pain that he doesn’t deserve. And even now, he complies and stops the battle as tears stream down. “Just let me go. Please. Please.”
“I’m sorry.” Leo whispers. “I’m so sorry.”
And suddenly, the trap turns into a hug as a little brother seeks comfortable and relief against agony, and Leo squeezes like he’ll never let go. Donnie made him promise that he wouldn’t let go after he came home from a world without him.
He can’t let him go. He won’t let go.
Leo promised.
Thanks! I have literally never wrote- no, that’s a lie. Quite possibly have never posted anything about the 2003 boys before this short. So, neat! New experiences! /is terrified
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theswedishpajas · 1 year ago
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💙🌌💀🌌💙
#my art stuff#digital art#undertale#sans#human#humanization#gajinka#finally drew a human sans I’m happy with without copying someone else’s#I wanna do mars as well soon but I’m still figuring out how to deal with the sharp features#I can’t believe I forgot to post this the other day#I should draw a papyrus soon#I am gonna be completely honest and say that I’m terrified of drawing people of colour because I don’t know many personally#and looking things up can only take you so far. especially with mixxed info everywhere#and I’m prolly the most “woke” person in my family and I have a racist dad so it’s not like anyone of them would know any better#I just drew some hair that looked nice to me and picked a skintone that looked nice and gave him hazel eyes literally just cus I think they#’re pretty (and heterochromia on top of that but that’s just a sans vibe)#I know nothing about textured hair care so I couldn’t pic a style based on ease or anything etc etc#so if anybody has any thoughts on how to improve him. I’d love to hear feedback on it#I am literally the most white cracker you can find with straight blonde hair and blue eyes and all that shit so I know NOTHING about#anything else and I want to learn more from other perspectives in general#I know I could and maybe should have just kept this post as-is without adding all my hyper-worry (which really isn’t helping anybody)#but this is very outside of my comfort zone for character design and I’m terrified of designing anything without some kind of experience#TL;DR if this sucks in some way from a cultural standpoint please let me know#and… I shouldn’t apologize for the long ramble cus it’s my own post etc etc but I still want to apologize#and thank you. people often don’t read tags especially when they go on like mine do
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takeyourcyanide · 1 day ago
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asking for help always makes things worse
#I need to just accept that I’m never going to be given any understanding or actual help#I may never escape these worlds it seems it doesn’t matter how hard I try I can’t get anyone to listen to me#this feels traumatizing I feel entirely beaten and ground down into something small and helpless#I have no control at all I keep trying and trying and trying and trying and for what#I need somebody to just listen to me atp not being dismissed is better than nothing but everyone’s a curation anyway no real thoughts or#feelings but it doesn’t matter I don’t even care please just listen to me somebody listen to me I’m so confused do curations have some#autonomy I don’t think so maybe I don’t fucking know they said yes on the clock so perhaps yes so please just listen please pls pls pls pls#I can’t be traumatized I’m not human right but I’m having everything stripped from me every last ounce of control the shadow ppl have all#the control which is funny I’m fairly certain I’m one of them but they still can strip me of control I was bred for this#please somebody help me I keep begging like it’ll do anything can you at least help with the ppl and cameras in the vents#are ppl from the real world watching through them I believe so can anything be done something has to be done escape the impostors something#just something please just listening would help actual listening not dismissal you can think whatever you want about me but listen#maybe some have autonomy and some don’t ?#please understand that I’ve tried very hard I’ve tried very very hard suicidality and homicidality have dug their claws into me even further#I don’t know what else to do I’m at a loss and no one will listen to me at all I’ve tried asking offline I’ve tried asking online it doesn’t#matter what I do where I ask no one will listen even the ones who do somewhat say they don’t know what to do I’m suspicious do they really#not know what to do or are they lying that may be more an impostor thing but everyone and everything is suspicious to me uh uh uh just#listen and help please idk what to do it’s all in the mirrors and clocks and such but I need to find a way to enter the mirrors but I’m#scared what I’ll find who is looking back I’m scared what world I’ll end up in it may be their world I’ll be punished they said yes I’m#terrified can someone go in with me if I manage to find out how that’s pathetic but damn I don’t think I can anyway they’ve been crawling on#the ceilings today hahah doing some weird and wacky shit sometimes they’re a little funky and just there and other times I’m having a heart#attack no in between I know pleading with curations is likely going to be classified as annoying but for the love of god do you know what#else I am supposed to do ??? at the very least just listen to me please it is 02:14:46 how synchronous ! I can’t stop having what I think#are dreams about the mental hospital too haha they send me to dreamworlds sometimes trap me in them waking dreamworlds see I’ve been reduced#down into something tiny I’ve resorted to begging once again do I even want to beg am I lying to myself my words aren’t my own my thoughts#aren’t my own so is this not my own can’t ever speak none of it’s my own it feels unsafe especially to speak of anything that isn’t this#it isn’t safe it isn’t my own it’s not the focus idk idk idk should I ask to talk to someone again I wonder I want understanding for my#situation please listen to me the joints hurt aaaa#my life is a playyy is a playyy is a playyyyyy anyone like marina that song appeared in the head I wonder where that spider went it better#not be inside of the body ok ok ok anyone yes help wanted help needed 02:22:22
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teethbomb · 4 months ago
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mob psycho(logical horror) 100
#Chatterbomb#There are some terrifying concepts in there they should be stretched more#That comic reminded me of junji itos The Long Dream#I’ll have to do a rewatch and write some stuff down#The mental prison stuff? Terrifying 10/10#Shigeo in fabricated world for six months is terrifying but I feel like being trapped in a static environment that only gets longer even#Though real world time has barely passed and you are all alone and you can’t escape and you can’t change the environment besides clawing at#The walls#day and night don’t pass with the sun and moon but your body is aging anyway#Nothing changes and you are running out of resources.#How long until you accept no one will come and save you? How much are you willing to starve while waiting for someone who left?#What if the world that trapped you won’t let you die? Starving for centuries without a sign of life#Thinking at some point you must have escaped. Or was it a dream within a dream? Can that happen? How many times have you fallen asleep?#How many dreams deep are you already in?#WHAT IF HE STARTED ROTTING#what if he was living in his own dead body!!!!! Would that be fucked up or what!!!!!#Something about reigen sparks a desire to see him experience pain disconnected with reality#The dreams in train hell are only getting longer. None of them are peaceful. He can’t tell if his hair is greying from aging or how much th#Dreams take a toll on him. How much time has really passed? Can he even rely on how his body is changing? Is it truly time who is#Responsible? Or is it him? Or the train itself?#What if all they found of him was a dryed up body with a beating heart and pulsating brain. Laying limp and clothing scattered#If I really indulge myself the scratched out days. When looked at from farther away. Still marking the potential days reads#Abandon all hope#ye who enter here#Which yeah that’s stretching into being ridiculous but it would be cool TO ME#Dante’s inferno you are so silly and special to me#I got really autistic here but <3 big fan of horror huge fan of suffering <333#ALSO!! taking inspiration from “heck” short film but the days might be counted by “sleeps” as time cannot accurately be measured in a place#That defies universal law#Ok I think I’m done now ok I’m normal probably
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pissfizz · 8 months ago
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I’m going to lose my mind oh my god I am so scared for this quincenera wtf
#NOT MINE BTW I MISSED MY CHANCE LMAO#but Jesus Christ family I’ve never met before flying in from Panama…. god I’m so scared#I’ve already been dealing with some wack ass imposter syndrome ass shit cuz of how I was raised this is gonna make it SO MUCH worse#I DIDNT EVEN KNOW PANAMANIANS GOT QUINCES#i was raised with almost zero influence from any culture whatsoever I wasn’t even raised close to that side of the family#and like I’m mixed with white but I can’t even use that as an excuse cuz the cousin who’s quince it is is also mixed#and that side of the family is super tied to the culture and they speak Spanish and shit#i don’t even speak Spanish even if the family from Panama doesn’t think ima. total embarrassment what if most of them don’t speak english#when I’m surrounded by white people 24/7 I feel like a total outlier but the second I’m around anyone else latine I feel like that but WORSE#i don’t speak Spanish I don’t know anything about the culture I’m from the fucking pacific northwest and do digital art and watch anime#i am so far completely removed from everything I’m gonna be sick#my grandma is already so judgy about stuff my uncle was even WORSE and made fun of the stuff that was too white or too American about me#my cousins throwing the party are the least of my worries cuz at least their mixed and second/third Gen too#but oh my god the family I’ve never met before I’m so scared I’m so scared#i was already thinking like. can I even call myself latine bc of how I was raised and how far removed I am from everything. I’m mixed so -#-should I just associate myself more with the white side of my family. am I being fraudulent by identifying with that term just bc I have -#-the blood is that even enough maybe that kid had a point when he said I shouldn’t count as hispanic if I don’t know spanish#and thinking about showing up to my cousins quince as. me. it’s terrifying it’s awful I want to go I want to meet these people I want to -#-celebrate my cousin and be happy for her but GOD what if everyone hates us and just tolerates us cuz we’re related to them#i would say we’re the black sheep of the family but I feel like white is more fitting cuz I feel like we’re just slightly brown white people#god god god I’m so stresssd out by this#is this a weird thing to be worried about is this stupid is this selfish#and to make matters worse I DONT KNOW WHAT TO GET HER FOR A GIRT#vent
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priestfrommidnightmass · 5 months ago
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in unrelated news. i’ve mentioned on here before that my friends have been begging me for literal months to go and see challengers with me after discovering i’m obsessed with it and from the beginning i was like dead fucking seriously i don’t know if i want you to see me like that because i do not PLAY! they’re finally showing it for the last time at my theatre this week and due to my current circumstances especially i KNEW i needed to see it in theatres one last time no matter fucking WHAT. but ngl i was kinda dreading it bc likeeee it’s at night after work and i hate doing shit after workkk and all of that shit. however let me TELL YA i just turned on challengers: match point for the first time in a few weeks and i am so fucking BACK. it all hit me so hard bro it’s like i’m THERE AGAIN. and now i’m so fucking excited i don’t know how i’m even going to go to bed.
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woovalin · 3 months ago
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i’m in such disbelief right now and beyond disgusted.
i really hope y’all are choosing your morals over kpop; because we do not know these men at all. i will never side with or defend a predator and a criminal, even with little to no proof. even if there is the smallest chance he may be innocent, i will always believe the victim first.
some of you, as fans of the boys for years and him in general, i know you must be feeling disappointed and betrayed. you’re not dumb for previously supporting him, as we couldn’t have possibly known. but now is the time for a reality check and it’s time to wake up and take a step back. this just goes to show that we know absolutely nothing about them.
for sm to just outright put out a statement on their own before any rumors even surfaced and immediately kick him out? this has to be insanely serious and i’m terrified of what he could’ve done. the crazy thing is with everything currently happening in korea with the telegram situation, and korean women constantly being in danger in general because of the men there, i’m not at all surprised that celebrities are being exposed. sm has protected criminals before, and held onto lucas when his scandal came out as well as other artists who have been exposed for similar crimes. i can’t even imagine the severity of the current situation. we’ve seen what happened with the burning sun, and these men are not immune to being misogynistic, vile human beings.
members have already unfollowed him and deleted posts with him in them; his best friend of 17yrs has unfollowed him. the company taking the initiative and him getting kicked out of the group in less than a second before anything even came out, no denying the claims or even trying to defend him. that should be enough to tell you and understand how serious this actually is. i am beyond disgusted with him and this whole situation.
i sincerely hope the victim is doing okay and praying for them to heal and get the justice they deserve. and remember that your love for these celebrities should always be conditional, because we do not know them. it’s their job to put on a show and show you their public persona, but behind closed doors? we don’t know what they’re actually like. we put them on a pedestal and yet we don’t know what they’re really capable of. they are still men after all. i hope the police are taking this seriously. there needs to be consequences and these women need to be protected.
let this be a lesson to all of us. they don’t know us, and we don’t know them, not really, not at all.
ALWAYS choose morals over these strangers you idolize. and as women, we should be standing with the victims.
maybe not all men, but enough of them. and maybe not all men, but somehow always a man. and going forward, i will continue to support nct as a whole with the remaining members. however, keeping the situation in mind, i will be supporting from afar for a little while. if the situation escalates and other members are investigated and new information comes to light about the rest of them either knowing or possibly being involved, it would be best to step away for good. i will do my best to stay updated. but i do hope the rest of the members are doing okay, and hopefully no other members were involved; but this, just shows that they can always surprise us. you never think it’ll be your fave, until it is.
let’s hope this causes a domino effect and more of these people are exposed and charged for the crimes they’re committing.
sending love to anyone who has ever experienced sexual violence or has been targeted and been in a similar situation. it is not your fault and it never was!
love you all and my dms are always open if you need to vent. <3
❗️EDIT: also i wanna add that we need to not praise the rest of the members or any other celebrity for simply unfollowing him on social media. that is the least of anyone’s worries.
we don’t know if they were aware, we don’t know if they knew and were protecting him or turning a blind eye. it could be them trying to save themselves and clear their guilty conscience. maybe they didn’t know and are just as shocked as we are, we don’t know that either.
we blindly trust these people and believe they have good intentions but look at where that can lead to. fans being upset is valid, yes; but remember people with money and power will do whatever it takes to sweep things under the rug and make it go away in order to save face and keep their image and reputation.
follow-up post here.
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exopelagic · 1 year ago
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I’m kinda glad I spent so much time looking at crop science this term bc turns out it’s unbearable and I couldn’t actually do this like I was considering. Progress!!
#it’s like FINE I can deal with it but long term??? I would fucking diw#crop people are so like. angry too. this is about you Sinclair#idk what it could be abt this topic specifically like. I’m guessing bc it’s high stakes largely expensive science with limited resources.#and goddamn nobody agrees on what you should be doing#there’s also the whole commercialisation thing bc the state of farming is pretty fucking bleak on all fronts#but especially on crop improvement. you patent your thing immediately and hope a seed company buys it up and funds the expensive trials#bc otherwise there’s no way in hell your thing’s even getting made let alone actually being Used in any practical way#this is a group of people who are trying rlly hard to help people in a real tangible way in the face of smth genuinely terrifying#(crop yields haven’t significantly accelerated in decades and soon they won’t be able to keep up)#but the process to Doing Anything Abt It involves not only the typical hell of academia but the combined challenges of#stubborn farmers. uninformed public. late stage capitalism. the whole regulatory mess of GMOs#so it seems like everyone’s at each others throats all the time bc there’s this sense of urgency#bc hey dude we haven’t made much progress since artificial fertilisers but maybe if you FUCKING LISTENED TO ME#:/#im exaggerating not all of them are like this I’ve read some very nice very cool papers but goddamn some of them are Pissed#in a way I haven’t seen too much so far#as always I’m the annoying idealist what if we did All Of It Anyway#like come on what’s the harm in working C4 rice if we can get it that’d be incredible#we can’t we still figure out loads abt how leaf anatomy works and how C4 photosynthesis works is that not still a win. that shit has uses#ANYWAY THIS HAS BEEN MY CROPS RANT FUCK SINCLAIR ALL THE HOMIES HATE SINCLAIR#im sure he’s done some very important work on water use but the guy is so condescending I didn’t know you could do that in a paper#luke.txt
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thewispsings · 5 months ago
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Hello, can please request something Charles Leclerc and dating a very successful actress like an Emmy winner kind of actress, and him being the perfect trophy husband, and everyone's obsessed with them
trophy husband | charles leclerc
pairing: charles leclerc x horror actress!reader
summary: charles leclerc is the perfect trophy husband, even if he can’t quite bring himself to watch your movies.
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liked by maxverstappen1, lewishamilton, landonorris, and 693,928 others!
charles_leclerc: some of my favorite posters so far 😍 make sure to go watch MaXXXine July 3rd, staring my beautiful wife!! ❤️
view comments below!
user1: i still can’t believe they are married 😭
user2: HERE BEFORE MAX!! I MADE IT 😫😫
maxverstappen1: are you going to be able to make it through the whole movie this time?
charles_leclerc: probably not!
user3: LMAO CHARLES JUST ACCEPTED IT 😭😭
user4: i remember there was a time when charles used to swear up and down that he could sit through yns movies..he’s grown 🥹
user5: to be FAIR; i can’t really sit through a y/n movie either. they are always so fucking terrifying, i have to take like 30 minute breaks each minute 
user6: the queen of horror will do that to you 😭
user7: charles supporting y/n even though he’s too scared to watch any of her movies is so funny
user8: i just looked at my bf and sighed
pierregasly: so excited 😁
user9: do you think they’ll do another y/n movie, movie night without charles 😂
user10: don’t make it sound like they didn’t invite him?? he CHOSE not to go because he was too scared to watch the movie 😭
yourusername: thank you for the support love 💚
charles_lecerc: HEHEHE ☺️ of course my love anything for you!! ❤️
user11: did this mf just giggle through comments
user12: sometimes i question my high standards, but then i see charles acting like this with y/n and i remind myself i should NEVER settle for less
landonorris: i stand with you Charles. her movies are way to scary. i will be streaming without watching tho 👏
charles_leclerc: thank you Lando 😁
yourusername: my two favorite scaredy cats 🫶
charles_leclerc: i should be your ONLY favorite scaredy cat 😕
landonorris: don’t be jealous Charles, we all know you two only want each other 🙄
user13: HELP LANDO 😭😭
user14: get yourself a man who supports you as much as charles support y/n 👏👏
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liked by charles_leclerc, and 53,829 others!
ynupdates: y/n at the MaXXXine premiere today! she had on a total of three different dresses tonight and she looks gorgeous!
view comments below!
charles_leclerc: 😍😍
charles_leclerc: WOW 🤩
charles_leclerc: 🤤🤤🤤🤤
charles_leclerc: beautiful☺️☺️
charles_leclerc: 👏👏
charles_leclerc: holy 😘😘
charles_leclerc: obsessed 🥰🥰
charles_leclerc: MY wife 😻😻😻
charles_leclerc: gorgeous😘
charles_leclerc: stunning ☺️
user15: oh this? nothing just charles showing everyone that he is IN FACT the standard!
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liked by charles_leclerc, lewishamilton, maxverstappen1, and 729,038 others!
yourusername: so excited for you all to see MaXXXine, i’m really proud of it 🥹
view comments below!
charles_leclerc: you should be proud gorgeous ❤️ it was an amazing movie!
maxverstappen1: you didn’t even watch it?
charles_leclerc: I HAD HER DESCRIBE IT TO ME.
charles_leclerc: you looks stunning! 😍
yourusername: thank you cutie ☺️
charles_leclerc: you think i’m cute? ☺️☺️☺️☺️
user16: is charles aware y/n is already his wife??
charles_leclerc: of course i’m aware! i would never forget the day y/n said yes 😡
user17: bad move think just because they’re married charles would stop acting like he’s trying to get at her
user18: i think it’s so crazy to see a man ACTUALLY love and appreciate his partner; like it’s shouldn’t BE crazy. it should be the standard, but yet.,.
lewishamilton: great movie as always! 🔥
yourusername: thank you lew 🫶
user19: “lew” 🥹🥹
landonorris: someone put y/n in a romcom please.
user20: lando does NOT fuck with the horror
user21: NO BUT PLS YNS AMAZING IN HORROR BUT IS IT A CRIME TO WANT TO SEE HER HAPPY IN A MOVIE FOR ONCE
user22: charles x y/n romcom when??
oscarpiastri: amazing movie! 10/10 loved it 🤩
landonorris: if course you like horror you muppet.
oscarpiastri: not everyone sticks to comedy’s because their scared of a little blood…
user23: READ HIM TO FILTH
user24: i’m so excited to shit my pants watching this movie!! (i hate horror but will watch anything yns in)
. . .
notes: can i just say how much i hate summary’s?? like i hate WRITING THEM, love when fics have them tho, but i feel like my summaries never make sense and they take me FOREVERRR
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starkeyisthelastname · 5 months ago
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okay y’all, we are jumping into this. pornstar!rafe makes a big decision. ⭐️ (thank you to my bae @oceandriveab for her request and being so patient! 💖 )
He had quite literally fucked you to sleep after storming off set all because he couldn’t get his dick up because he had you on his mind. He knew the decision he had to make and that was one he never thought he would ever do and that quit filming professionally. Even if he hadn’t opened up to you much at all, and he was terrified of confessing his feelings to someone he only had ever fucked, he couldn’t continue on with this career because his addiction was now you.
You should have known better than to answer the door because as you woke up the next morning with a sore body, an empty bed and no sign or explanation from Rafe. You should have expected this and him telling you he couldn’t work anymore because he couldn’t get you off his mind was a bunch of bullshit. He told you from the start he loved pussy too much to ever quit, and you should have stopped falling for him right there. You may been acting on high emotions, but you picked up your phone and began texting him.
Rafe’s phone had been on silent when he had met with his agent and manager. He flat out told them that he was done and they laughed, an amused look on both of their faces. The ‘pussy slayer’ was retiring at 30? There was no way. Everyone knew how much he loved pussy, I mean.. what else was he gonna do? Even if he hadn’t told you much about him, or knew much about you, he knew what he felt for you was enough for him to find a new purpose in life. He knew he said he needed to take baby steps because this was all new to him, but he was tired of the jealousy he constantly felt, the way he couldn’t get you off his fucking mind. He had to show you how he felt and then would let everything fall into place after, it could have been a reckless decision but he didn’t care.
‘I don’t expect a relationship with you, but when you come to my house and tell me that I’m yours just to dip off without any explanation is bullshit Rafe. I can’t do these games with you anymore. You wanna focus on work so bad. Fine. So will I.’
You had blocked him after you sent it, whether it was right or wrong. You didn’t want to, in fact it hurt you to think about Rafe not being in your life. What hurt worse though was how this man had ruined you to the point he never left your mind, that every time he shot a scene with someone else you were filled with nothing but jealousy, and that you couldn’t continue on knowing he would constantly feed you this shit so that he could get a nut in a few times a week. Your insecurities were becoming overshadowed by fear, because you had no idea what Rafe had just done.
You had a feeling you knew who it was by the heavy knocks on your door. You didn’t want to answer and you wanted to tell him to go away. Your own body betrayed you as you began walking over to the door to answer it. He better have a damn good reason on why he was here after his little Houdini act he pulled.
“You wanna block me now?” Rafe asked, stepping through the door without another thought.
You shrugged, arms crossed over your chest as you challenged him. “Why does it matter Rafe? I should have never got my feelings involved with someone who only cares about fucking on camera and getting money from it.” You told him, avoiding his gaze. Maybe it was your own fault because he didn’t know exactly how you felt, but he certainly didn’t make it easy for you. When he whispered sweet shit in your ear it made you feel like you could tell him that you were falling for him. It would then reel back to you being afraid of rejection because he would disappear, or talk about how he loved his career too much to ever quit.
“Do you even know what I was doing? I was firing my agent and my manager because I told them I was done fucking doing porn.” He said, causing your eyes to meet his.
You didn’t believe him. There was no way the man who was obsessed with sex and couldn’t even give you a real reason on why he became a pornstar in the first place had really quit. You laughed, did he really think you were that dumb? “You are lying. You’ve hit an all time low if you think that you can tell me something like that just to fuck me again.” You said with a scoff.
Rafe did a lot of punk shit to try and hide his feelings from you, but this wasn’t something he would joke about. He laughed, shaking his head. “You think I’m lying? I fuckin quit because I love you!” He said, blurting it out before he stopped himself. It was like once he said it, he couldn’t stop the rest from flowing as he continued on. “You don’t understand how hard this is for me! This career is the only thing I have had that has made me feel worth something because I fucked everything else up in my life. This is what made me feel invincible and that I could be somebody. I don’t have anyone else because everyone pushed me away due to my choices. Then I meet you and I don’t even fucking know you, but I feel this insane connection that absolutely terrifies me. It scares me the way I feel about you, and that I really should be taking baby steps. I.. I just can’t though. I don’t want to fuck this up like I did everything else, but… I am fucking in love with you and fucking random girls on camera just to get money isn’t worth losing you over.” He told you.
This was the first time Rafe had ever truly been honest with you and you could read it all over his face. You swallowed the lump in your throat as he stepped closer, taking you by the hands as he pulled you closer. “Let me show you.” He whispered in the softest voice you had ever heard him use. You didn’t know what he meant by that, but there was no way you were turning him away.
No matter how much you loved the brutal sex the two of you shared and we’re sure there was more of that to come, this was an entirely new feeling you both were experiencing. He was being gentle with you for the first time, pouring every ounce of confusing emotions and feelings he had into you. He had you in a deep missionary position, his toned hips grinding into yours as he buried his head in your neck. “You are so goddamn beautiful.” He whispered in a breathy groan.
His cock somehow felt 10 times bigger when he went slow and it was throwing you off at how good this fucking felt. Tears streamed down your face much like the first time he had ever fucked you, but for an entirely different reason. You overwhelmed by love, clinging onto him life a lifeline as you were afraid to let him go. He had ruined you for any other man and right now you were perfectly fine with that. “Rafe… you feel so fucking good..” You whimpered, your eyes rolling back at a little as his tip kept brushing over your g-spot.
Rafe groaned into your smooth skin, his lips traveling across your collarbone and across your jaw line until he met your eyes. He knew he must have really been in love with you because he had never made love and didn’t know he was capable of such a thing. He knew his nasty side was inevitable but he really was determined to show you that he was serious about this.
“Yeah baby, say my fuckin name. That’s yours to say. All yours… my sweet angel.” His words firm but genuine as his lips ghosted over yours. The way you made him feel was better than any drug or any career, and he knew no matter how scary this was for him, you were his girl without a doubt.
The tears flowed even more as he said that, your eyes falling into his ocean ones as his cock explored every inch of you. Your lower tummy fluttered and head spun as you felt an insane orgasm approaching. “Rafe… you’re gonna make me cum. Please don’t stop.. please.” You nearly begged him, manicured nails digging into the skin of his back.
Rafe had always prided himself for being able to go many rounds before cumming. He was so overwhelmed with love, that he knew he was wasn’t going to last long. “I’m not baby, I fuckin got you. Yeah? Cum all over my cock.” He whispered against your lips before pulling you in for a deep kiss.
You couldn’t help but sob at his words, trying your best to focus on the kiss as your orgasm started to take over. You screamed his name, not caring who heard, as this moment was way too important. You shuddered against him, wrapping your legs around his waist to trap him in as his thrusts started to get sloppy. He didn’t know what you had done to him, but he found himself going back to whisper in your ear as he started slowly coming undone. “I’m gonna fuckin fill you up baby, this is all for you..” He breathed out, voice rugged as his nuts tightened and eyes rolled back at your cunt still squeezing him in.
Rafe’s groans were sweet music to your ears as his seed warmed your insides, this time followed by a gentle raspy voice whispering against your skin. “I love you..” He told you, the butterflies hitting your belly and your face breaking out into a beautiful smile.
“I love you.” You whispered back.
Rafe hadn’t said that to someone or heard it back since before he had lost his family. This was the first girl he had ever felt this way about and while the two of you may have been jumping into something that was unclear and had a lot of questions that needed to be answered, he knew this was all worth it.
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deadsetobsessions · 5 months ago
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Fae adjacent! Danny, pt. 3
Jason returns to consciousness with a scream trapped before it could come to life. He twisted his neck back and forth and back and forth.
It was the last thing he did before he died. When the Joker left and told him to say hello to the big guy, Jason could not muster up the energy to make a single sound.
But Bruce… Bruce was here this time, heavy head making the mattress by his leg dip.
The scars that ran over his face stretched as he blinked.
“…B?”
Bruce’s head shot up, eyes bloodshot and bags heavier than a Gotham socialite’s solid gold Dior purse.
“Jaylad.”
Jason- Jason was alive now. Bruce’s hug felt warm, the tear spot on his shoulder was damp as his dad cried while hugging him.
And Jason should be happy. He’s alive again. His dad loved him.
But all he could think about was the cold of the coffin, the squelch of mud and dirt, and the unerringly wrong feeling of knowing he came back but he came back wrong.
——
Tim had wandered Gotham in the weeks following Jason’s reawakening. He wasn’t avoiding Bruce Wayne. He wasn’t. But Tim knows he’ll have to answer questions soon. He just wasn’t ready.
Tim looked up at the den of pixies- pixies were real!- and squared his shoulders. He did his research. Tim Drake walks into the den with nothing but foolish hope and Gotham-brand audacity. He’ll get answers about Danny today. He will.
——
Soul-Plucker, they called him. Danny Fenton, the proprietor of Fenton Artifacts. The High King.
“I thought King Oberon was the High King?”
The pixies chittered at the little human that could have been kin. Their wings fluttered at their backs, muffled by cloth. It’s not often they find kindred. It really is too bad that Fenton had his mark on the child. How they would have loved to whisk him away. He would have made entertainment that would last a millennia! Or until the court decided to cut of his tongue, at least. How well he had tricked them!
“Of course! Of course! King Oberon is our king, see?” A younger pixie swirled her drink, a shining red and blue thing. “But he’s the High King of another court!”
“The High King of the Infinite Realms, encompassing far more than King Oberon and Queen Tatianna could ever reach.”
Another pixie chimed in, on their fourth glass of amber colored nectar. “The Soul-Plucker!”
“The Beginning of the End.”
“Afterlife IRS department!”
“He who wanders.”
“Death-Caller.” Another one said, grave and serious.
“The Arbiter.”
“So, he’s like, the boss of bosses?” Tim asked. What kind of entity did he make a deal with? Why was he kind to Tim? What motives did Danny have?
“Uh huh!”
“Then what’s he’s doing here?”
“Who knows? The whims of the most powerful are unknown to us.” The pixies clustered around Tim. “Won’t you play another game with us, Alvin? You’re so good at it! Oh, how about a drink?”
“Can’t. I gotta get home. Also, I’m a minor.” Tim slipped passed their fluttering wings and manic smiles. They move to let him past, waving drinks at him in a tantalizing manner.
“And where is that, sweet one?”
“Somewhere, Liltri. Somewhere.”
Tim Drake was a child of pure will, pure hard headed foolishness, a mind sharper than any blade, and luck more terrifying than the creatures he now dealt with. And so, he stepped out of the Pixie Bar with more questions than answers but he stepped out unharmed.
——
“Who are you?” The shadows shift as Lady Gotham unveiled her knight.
Danny felt his eyes cool, glinting green and blue. Lady Gotham forgets who her liege is.
“Haven’t you done your research? You who walks along the edge of shadows, my shop is not a place to dismiss decorum.”
“You brought… you brought him back. How. Why?”
“You want answers? Then give me something in return.”
Danny gestured to the circle his clients have come to know as the deal-maker. Danny doesn’t ask for much in return. Just… something equal to the request.
“Ah,” Danny pointed up at the sign. “I am legally able to deny you my service, so don’t get any ideas.”
Batman was studied up on myths. But he was not a believer, and that both hindered and helped him. What was a god, in front of the faithless? What was the faithless in front of power?
The vigilante stepped into the circle, unable to see the subtle shimmering of magic but remained unbound by the virtue of his disbelief.
“What do you want for answers?”
“You do not often deal with the occult, do you?” Danny tapped the counter. Batman remained silent.
“I have a soft spot for vigilantes,” Danny continued. “And so I won’t ask for much. Just… your cape.”
“Not my hair? A body part?”
“If you were dealing with the fae, you’d probably would lose something of that value, yes.”
“You aren’t fae.”
Danny merely smiled. “Do we have a deal?”
“My cape in exchange for honest answers to my questions.”
Danny huffed, approval glinting in his eyes.
“Your cape for honest answers to three questions,” Danny pointed at the sign, still hanging above them. “Three questions or nothing.”
Batman grimaced. “Deal.”
“Ask your questions, protector.”
“Why did you bring Jason back to life?”
“I didn’t.” Danny grinned. The Bat should have stipulated that he must answer elaborately. He looked like he realized that. Oh well. His mistake. Well, not like there was actual magic binding Danny, so technically, Danny could lie off his ass.
“…Will Jason stay alive?” Danny had a heart and this man was a much better father than Jack ever was.
“Yes. Barring unnatural causes, his soul is firmly attached to his body and will not shuffle off the mortal coil without warning.”
The lines of Batman’s shoulders slumped. Relief. He paused.
“What are your intentions in this city?”
“To run my shop… and to enjoy retirement.”
Danny laughed at Batman’s stoic face. “Disappointed I am not up to nefarious deeds, little knight?”
“No.”
Danny tapped the table. “My payment?”
Batman shucked off his cape and handed it to Danny.
“Why my cape?”
Danny smiled a fanged little thing. “Because your costume looks stupid without it and I could use a laugh.”
Batman grumbled and turned to leave. Ha paused, eyes catching on the glint of camera lenses.
“How much for that?”
“For the little sparrow’s camera?” Danny sighed, eyes fixed on the form of a vigilante who was more kind than angry for once. “Two thousand dollars.”
“That’s a huge markup.”
“That’s how much it means to me, compared to the rest.” Danny slid beyond the counter, a ghostly air about him. He pinned his newly earned cape up. “My shop, my prices, little knight.”
Batman silently handed him two thousand dollars and left with the little sparrow’s camera.
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osarina · 8 months ago
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ᡣ𐭩 HE'S THE SERPENTINE, HE'S MY COLLAR!
FEATURING: dazai osamu
SUMMARY: you're finally back in yokohama after spending three years abroad dealing with mori's foreign business. the last person you want is to see dazai osamu, the wounds of his abrupt betrayal still too fresh for comfort. unfortunately, he decides to take matters into his own hands by showing up at your office in the middle of the night.
(wordcount: 7.1k; ņsfw; fem!reader; port mafia executive!reader, f!receiving oral, gunplay, knife play (ish), spitting, pussy drunk!dazai (as always), light choking, overstim, office sex, semi-public/public sex, unprotected sex, switch!dazai, switch!reader, undertones of angst (happy ending). lmk if anything is missing!)
AUTHOR'S NOTES: guys. GUYS. i had so much fun writing this, this is finally usurping in paper rings and picture frames as my fav fic that i've written. HAHAHH. i hope you guys like it too!!
You hear the door to your office swing open, and you press your lips together tightly, irritation swimming through your head as your grip tightens on the pen you’re using to fill out your paperwork. It’s already late—you’re tired and your head hurts, but you can’t leave the building until Akutagawa comes to hand you the report for his failed mission so you can pass it up to the boss. And you know that whichever subordinate this is, it’s definitely not Akutagawa because the boy would rather claw his own throat out than walk into your office without knocking. 
Which means it’s some upstart new recruit who has no manners and is likely going to make your night worse. You think being away for so long did some real damage to your reputation—three years ago, the lower ranked mafiosos avoided your floor like the plague, they didn’t barge in like they owned the place, but then again, you also had a certain dark-haired executive (ex-executive now, you remind yourself bitterly) lurking around your floor constantly trying to get your attention, and if people weren’t nervous enough about you, they were definitely terrified of him.
“Five seconds to explain why you came into my office without knocking or I’m putting a bullet through your fucking skull,” you say, voice acerbic, not even bothering to look up, the fingers of your free hand closing around the gun you have holstered at your side. 
“There’s a few too many cameras in the hall for my liking to stand out there and wait for you to open the door.”
The fact that he manages to dodge the bullet shot in his direction is testament to his skill, but you’ve known Dazai Osamu long enough to know that when he dodges to the side, nine times out of ten, he dodges left, so you drop your pen as soon as you pull the trigger and swipe the knife laying haphazardly on your desk, launching it in his direction. You watch as his eyes widen just a bit when it impales the wall right next to his ear, just barely nicking his skin—both a warning and a threat.
“My, my, bella, you’ve gotten faster the past few years,” Dazai grins, unperturbed, smile as reckless and lazy as the day he left four years ago as he plucks the knife from the wall. “I’ve missed you too.”
“What the hell are you doing here, Dazai?” you ask, voice cold and sharp as your finger rests against the trigger of your gun. “How did you get up here?”
“Security’s gotten lax since I’ve been gone, I guess,” Dazai shrugs, but his eyes dance with mirth as he makes his way over to your desk. “You should probably do something about that.”
“Dazai,” you say, keeping your voice low and trying to reign in your temper. There are no cameras in your office, but the hall leading here is littered with them, hidden ones that were recently installed that he wouldn’t know about, if any one of them caught his face and it’s reported to Mori… “You think I won’t drag your ass to Mori myself? What the fuck are you doing?”
You’d have to, or it would be your head on the line for betraying the Port Mafia—you know better than anyone the treatment that traitors get, considering you were the one that dealt with them up until you were sent abroad three years ago to handle Mori’s foreign politics. 
“I don’t know, will you?” Dazai counters, head tilted to the side as he takes a seat on top of your desk next to you, a smile on his face that makes you think he knows something that you don’t.
“Maybe,” you answer, finger twitching on the trigger as you keep your gun pointed in his direction. 
Dazai is completely unbothered, leaning down until his nose is nearly brushing yours, lips tugged up in an unbearable smirk. 
“Then do it,” he challenges, and you glare at him, jaw tight and eyes hard. He reaches out, fingertips brushing your skin, and you feel like you’re on fire beneath his touch. You hate that your body still betrays you to him. “Don’t look at me like that, bella. I won’t even resist, I promise, as long as you promise to be the one to put a bullet through my skull, so your face can be the last thing I see. Ah, that would be a lovely death, wouldn’t it?” 
“You’re a fucking freak, Dazai,” you spit out, but make no move to get up or grab your phone. “What is wrong with you?”
Dazai doesn’t respond, only winking at you. Instead, his gaze shifts to the side and his hand drops from your face to his lap again. You hate even more that you miss his touch immediately. 
“You still have my couch,” Dazai notes to himself quietly, an odd tone to his voice as he stares at the dark couch in the far corner of your office, where he’d bundle himself up under blankets to avoid Chuuya, because Chuuya used to avoid your office like the plague when the three of you were younger.
“It’s my couch,” you say tightly, even though you know no one has touched it since Dazai left, and the ugly orange blanket he liked so much is still draped over the back of it, and it probably still smells like him. Your throat feels swollen, and you steel away your emotions and continue with, “I’ve hardly been back here since you left, anyway. What do you want, Dazai?”
“I heard you were finally back in Yokohama,” he says. “I wanted to see you.”
“Fuck off,” you say roughly. “So you decide to break into the main base of the Port Mafia and come all the way up to my office? You know where my apartment is, you could’ve shown up there. What do you really want?” 
“It’s the truth,” Dazai says easily, and his dark eyes meet yours—both of them, you note, and wonder when he decided to shed the bandages that covered his right eye. “I was at your apartment for a bit, I got impatient and came here instead.”
He’s telling the truth.
Oh, you realize—the clogged feeling in your throat is coming back, you force it away again and lean back in your chair, looking away from him to turn your gaze to the window. It’s well past midnight already, the moon is high in the sky and the stars are glittering above. In the distance, you can see the Ferris Wheel of Cosmo World glowing a bright purple color and a string of flashing red and blue lights as the police chase after someone.
“Why?” you ask finally, breaking the heavy silence that had settled over the two of you. 
“I told you,” Dazai says quietly, and your eyes turn back to him. He looks… happier, you can’t help but note. A sick part of you feels jealous—you’re not sure if you’re jealous because he’s free and you’re still stuck in this place, or if you’re jealous because he’s happier and he’s happier in a life without you. You think it might be the latter. “I miss you.”
“Don’t give me bullshit, Dazai,” you snap, still trying to push away all of the feelings you’ve repressed for so long. “Get out of here before you find yourself killed. I’m not going to turn you in, but I’m not saving you if you get caught.”
“It’s not bullshit,” Dazai tells you, voice sharp in a way that it only ever is when he’s starting to get annoyed. “I-”
A knock at your door cuts Dazai off mid-sentence. Both of you freeze, Dazai looks at you as if waiting to see what you’re going to do, and you can so easily finish this now, let whoever is at your door in and drag Dazai back down to the torture room where he belongs, but instead you find yourself reaching for him. Your hand intertwines with his hair roughly, and you revel a bit in the hiss that escapes his lips as you yank him off the desk and roll your chair backward, kicking the back of his knee so that he crumples to the ground and you can push him beneath your desk. 
You lower your gun to your lap so you can keep it pointed at him and then glance down at him—he looks caught off-guard and disgruntled at being manhandled, but you think it's a bit funny how cramped he looks under there. 
“Not a single word,” you warn before fixing your chair and raising your voice. “Come in.”
Akutagawa wastes no time stepping into your office, nodding his head in respect as he makes his way over to the chair on the opposite side of your desk, a bundle of papers in hand. He doesn’t hand you the pile right away and he looks uncharacteristically nervous, and you raise your eyebrows, wondering what the issue is. 
“I am… unsure how to fill out some of the report,” Akutagawa says, unable to meet your eyes as he stares at the windows behind you. “The operation was… not a failure but not a success. The whole mission was in disarray, I do not know who was doing what at certain points.”
You stare at Akutagawa. “What do you want me to say to that?” you ask him, leaning back in your chair. “It’s your job to know that as the field officer for the mission. If you can’t handle that, Hirotsu will take back the position on the next major operation.”
Akutagawa bristles. “I can handle it,” he says, voice clipped. “This mission was just more chaotic than-”
“Than usual?” you ask idly, watching as he stiffens as your interruption. “This was child’s play, it’s unlike you to make excuses, Akutagawa.’
“I’m not making excuses,” he says immediately, “but…”
Akutagawa continues talking, but your attention is ripped away when you feel Dazai shift beneath the desk. You press your lips together tightly, stiffening as his hands rise to your thighs, spreading them a bit so he can settle between them. You glance down, he’s already peeking up at you, dark eyes glittering in a way that has you on edge. 
Don’t you dare, you warn silently, but Dazai only takes it as further encouragement, pressing his lips to your clothed inner thigh, you can feel the warmth and wetness through your slacks. It takes all of your self-control to not inhale sharply when he starts trailing open-mouthed kisses up your thigh until his mouth is hovering right above your cunt. 
You press the muzzle of your gun against his temple. 
He smiles. 
Your jaw clenches as he licks a long stripe between your legs through your slacks, making sure to press his tongue down hard over where your clit is hidden through your clothes. Akutagawa is still talking, oblivious to what’s happening beneath your desk as he airs his complaints about the mission. You could stop Dazai, place your foot on his shoulder and push him off of you, but you don’t, notably—you don’t want to acknowledge that though. You only vaguely hear Akutagawa’s issues, something about interference from a third party—the SDUP? What the hell were they doing there?— and Kajii blowing up an escape route. 
“Give me the report,” you say, cutting him off mid-sentence, and holding out your hand. You’re grateful that your voice comes out steadier than you feel with Dazai trying to tongue fuck your through your pants. 
As you lean forward to rip the papers from Akutagawa, you tense, feeling something sharp press against your inner thigh. Sitting back in your seat and glancing down, your eyes cut down to Dazai, who still has the knife you’d thrown at him and is using it to cut open your very expensive slacks.
You have half a mind to drive your foot into his face, but you refrain. If only barely.
It’s a miracle that you can keep your breath steady, because as Dazai cuts your pants, he kisses every inch of open skin that’s revealed to him. His lips are warm, wet, familiar—so familiar that your legs are instinctively spreading for him, giving him more room to work.
Your eyes scan the report but the words are just jumbled letters and not making any sense. Every time you try to understand, you feel Dazai’s teeth graze your thigh as he marks up your skin. You tense when you feel him bring the knife much closer to your cunt, to finish cutting off the material—you press the muzzle of your gun harder into the side of his head, warning him to be careful. You glance down only to see a hazy smile on his lips as he winks up at you, as if he’s drunk just off of the idea of what’s about to happen.
He works efficiently as always, freeing your lower body of your slacks and panties as quickly as possible, and he wastes no time burying his face between your legs. Your lashes flutter and the grip you have on your pen tightens dangerously, you think it might snap. Dazai’s tongue slides between your folds, lapping up the slick that had begun to pool—you know that if Akutagawa wasn’t sitting a few feet away, Dazai would be making a snide comment about how he knew you wanted him.
Dazai’s tongue flicks over your clit—you can feel him staring up at you, watching for every little reaction, the way your lip tightens as you bite back moans, the way your eyelids unconsciously start to slide shut, the way your breath is just a bit heavier than it usually is. 
This is so dangerous, you think to yourself desperately. If Akutagawa of all people figures out that Dazai is here-
You nearly choke when Dazai shifts a bit underneath the desk to kneel at a better angle, grateful that Akutagawa seems to be too busy wallowing in his own mistakes to notice your struggle. Your gaze  snaps down again, his eyes have fluttered shut as he buries his face deep into your cunt, nose pressed to your clit as he pushes his tongue into your hole and you can feel the way he lets out a silent, but shaky breath, barely holding back a moan.
You notice his free hand slide from where it was propped on your thigh down to his beige pants, fingers fumbling with the button as he desperately tries to slip his hand beneath his waistband to touch himself. You kick his wrist hard, using your foot to pin it against the side of your desk, watching him wince and withdraw his hand, looking up at you with those big brown eyes you can never say no to. 
God, he’s pathetic, his lashes are wet and his cheeks are flushed, eyes glossed over with pleasure as he looks up at you and you know you’ll let go of his wrist if he looks at you like that any longer, so you turn your gaze back up to Akutagawa, who’s staring at his lap and waiting for you to finish the report.
“Get out,” you tell him, voice sharper than you intended. Akutagawa’s eyes snap up to you, brows furrowed in confusion. “Go, I’ll handle this.”
“But-”
“Your job is to take orders, not question them,” you bite out, watching frustration flash across the boy’s face as he rises to his feet. You’re not usually this harsh with the kid, but you’re not sure how much longer you’re going to last and Akutagawa cannot be in here when you cum. You can feel the heat pooling in your stomach and that familiar hazy feeling clouding your mind. “Out, Akutagawa.”
Akutagawa inhales sharply but nods, turning stiffly on his heel to leave your office. As soon as the door to your office clicks shut, Dazai is pushing the chair backwards until the back of it hits the windows behind you, shifting into a more comfortable position as he resumes fucking you with his tongue in earnest. 
He moans into you, wanton and shameless, any restraint he had because of Akutagawa’s presence is long gone. While he was careful to not make noise before, now the sloppy sound of his tongue dragging in and out of your cunt drowns out any other noise in your office, he sucks and slurps, he’s so disgusting, like he can’t get enough of the taste of you, a man who’s been starved for years.
The knife clatters to the ground as he reaches up with both hands to grab your thighs, sliding them over his shoulders so he can push his tongue even deeper inside of you. Only sheer pride drives you to push away the creeping fog as Dazai’s tongue slides back up between your folds to draw figure eights around your clit.
“I should pull the fucking trigger, pulling this shit when he was in here,” you spit out, head falling back as a breathy noise escapes your parted lips when Dazai sucks gently at your clit. He moans again, as if the idea itself turns him on—it probably does, he’s always talked about wanting to die between your thighs. “You’re a fucking freak, Dazai.” 
He lets out a puff of air, you can’t tell if it's a laugh or another moan, maybe a mixture of both, but he’s too focused on drowning in your cunt to respond. Four years without him and you’ve forgotten just how good Dazai is with his tongue, working your body as easily as he did when the two of you were eighteen and seeking each other out before meetings and between missions for a quick fuck. You hate it—you hate that he’s treating you as if nothing has changed and you hate even more that your body is this responsive to him. 
Betrayal, you think, your own body betrays you for him. Again.
“Fuck,” you gasp the word out when Dazai rolls your clit between his teeth gently, sending a jolt through your body that throws you off just enough for that fog you’ve been fighting off to finally win. You choke over a moan, head pressed back against your desk chair, forearm coming up to press against your forehead as your eyes slide shut. Your free hand finally finds its place in his hair, tightening around his dark locks, he lets out a whimper against you, tongue flicking over your clit. “Like that. Just like that.”
You can hardly keep your head on straight as he traces letters around the sensitive bud, you try to figure out what he’s spelling but you’re too far gone. Your head is light and your chest is heaving. You’re barely able to bite back moans as your thighs tighten around his head, hips rocking against his face. You don’t even know if he can breathe, you don’t think you care, so close to the edge that your entire body is tingling and trembling; you don’t think he cares either from the way he’s moaning into you.
It takes one last suck, one last swirl around your clit, and you’re crying out his name, spots dotting your vision as your grip on his hair tightens, pushing his face impossibly deeper into you as you grind your hips against his face. God, it feels never-ending, a noise too close to a sob nearly escapes your lips as Dazai ardently laps up all of your cum, not letting a single drop go to waste. You can’t remember the last time you’ve cum this hard—with him, probably, you realize bitterly. None of the one-night stands you’ve had over the past few years have ever compared to him.
You’re still reeling even as you force yourself to straighten in your seat, not willing to let him know just how badly you’re thrown off by how intense your orgasm was. Your head is still spinning, vision still blurring, but you lift your leg and press your foot to Dazai’s shoulder, kicking him back and forcing him out from his position between your thighs. 
He grunts, looking thoroughly disgruntled as he falls back on his ass, pouting up at you as he tries to catch his breath. He looks debauched, lips swollen and wet, your cum smeared on the lower half of his face. His cock is straining against his beige pants and his eyes are still glazed over; he’s looking up at you with an expression that’s nothing short of reverent. 
God, he’s gorgeous. 
You hate him. 
You’ve missed him. 
You shift in your seat and Dazai is lifting himself to his knees, immediately leaning closer, a hazy smile on his lips as he angles his face up and pointedly parts his lips, sticking his tongue out. You know what he wants and the heat that had been slowly dissipating returns with a vengeance, breath catching as you look down at him.
“You’re gross,” you tell him, watching the corner of his lips quirk up even as he keeps his tongue out and waiting.
You don’t deny him. You never can. 
You shift forward, rising to your feet and reaching out to grab his chin, angling your face down. Your grip is too tight, it’ll leave bruises behind and you think that’s the least he deserves so you only tighten it a bit more as you lean over him. You don’t give him what he wants, not right away, letting the saliva gather on your tongue as you observe him, the way his pupils are blown wide and his chest is hardly rising and falling, as if he can’t even let himself breathe in anticipation.
Disgusting, you think again, but it’s fond this time, much to your displeasure.
You decide to put him out of his misery, letting the spit dribble from your mouth down to his. His eyes roll back as soon as it hits his tongue, and your hand slides from his chin to curl around his neck—not tight, just firm enough to feel the way his throat bobs as he swallows.
He lets out a shaky breath, eyes fluttering back open as he looks up at you, entirely blissed out. Your hand slides down more, curling around the ugly bolo tie he’s wearing in place of the black one you’re used to. You tug it hard, beckoning him to his feet; he acquiesces, albeit on shaky legs. 
Immediately, his hands find your hips as he pushes you against your desk, spinning you around to face it before his hand presses between your shoulder blades, pushing you down to bend you over it. Your eyes widen at the sudden change in demeanor, something you’ll never be able to get used to no matter how many times you fuck him; it always caught you off guard back then, it still catches you off guard now. He pulls off the remnants of your destroyed slacks and immediately is grinding his bulge against your ass, a low moan spilling from his lips. 
“How many people have you been with?” he suddenly asks, and you can hear him fumbling to unbutton his own pants. There’s an edge to his voice that you don’t like—something caught between jealousy and possessiveness, and you nearly want to scoff at it.
“What the fuck, Dazai?” you spit out, appalled and not expecting the question. “None of your damn business.” 
You turn your head to the side to rest your cheek on the desk, looking back at him from the corner of your eye. His eyes are still a bit hazy but there’s a tight expression on his face, reminiscent of the one that would be directed toward you whenever he stumbled in on you entertaining anyone other than him years ago. 
“Humor me,” he says, voice cold and eerily familiar. If you weren’t looking at him and if you couldn’t see the tan coat and bolo tie, you’d think you were talking to Dazai Osamu, Port Mafia Executive, and not Dazai Osamu, Detective. 
“A lot,” you finally tell him, feeling the way he stiffens behind you. “I don’t keep count. You?” 
You think he has some nerve asking when he’s probably slept around t-
“None.”
“Bullshit,” you snarl immediately. “How many? Don’t fucking lie to me, Dazai.”
“None,” he says again, gaze lifting from your back to meet yours, his eyes are dark—too dark, too still. Maybe he hasn’t changed as much as you assumed, because the way your chest swells with a confusing mixture of fear and arousal is far too familiar. “You’re the only one allowed to touch me.”
His gaze drags back down, with his pants unbuttoned, he lifts his free hand to caress the swell of your ass, a contemplative expression on his face as he stares down at you, his other hand still pinning you down to your desk. If your heart wasn’t thudding in your ears from sheer anticipation, you’d be irate over the fact that you were letting Dazai Osamu fuck you over your own desk in your own office, but you can’t bring yourself to care now.
“They never made you feel like this.” It’s a statement, not a question, and you want to scoff at his arrogance, but you can’t because he’s right. “They don’t know your body like I do.”
This time you do scoff. “You don’t know shit, Dazai. It’s been four years.”
Dazai’s eyes flicker back up to you, the way his lips curve up into a smile is dangerous.
“No?” he questions. 
A challenge. You never back down from one, not from him. 
“No.”
His smile sharpens.
“I know that after you cum for the first time,” he murmurs, rolling his hips forward. You bite back a moan when you feel the tip of his cock slip between your folds. “The second time comes right after.”
True to his words, your jaw falls slack and your entire body seizes as Dazai thrusts into you, splitting you right open on his cock. The moan he lets out is pornographic, and you wish you could see the way his head falls back and his eyes roll into his skull, but your own vision is white and you’re choking over a sob as you feel the familiar stretch of his cock against your walls.
“There you are.” Dazai has the nerve to let out a breathless laugh and another groan as he stills with his hips flush to your ass, feeling your walls spasm around him as you cum just from the feeling of him pushing inside of you. The hand he has placed between your shoulder blades slides up to curl around your throat. With a firm grip, he pulls you up so only your thighs are pressed against the edge of your desk, back flush to his chest as you gasp, reeling from the suddenness of your second orgasm. You can feel him smile as he nudges his nose against the side of your head, lips pressed to your ear. “The third time takes a bit after the second, but I’ll fuck you through it. Maybe a fourth too.”
“Dazai,” you gasp, eyes blown wide as your head falls back against his shoulder. You don’t know what you’re trying to say, maybe hold on, or wait, because you know you’ll embarrass yourself if he doesn’t give you a second to recover.
He hums in response, and the slow rolls of his hips, the drag of his cock against your walls, it has your head in the clouds, body trembling. Your lips part to speak but no words leave them, and right when you think you can finally force the words out, Dazai draws his hips back and snaps them back against yours hard. Your lips part in a silent moan, only the hand around your throat and the one pressed to your lower belly holds you up as Dazai fucks you at a brutal pace. 
His face drops to the crook of your neck, he moans into your skin, teeth scraping hard as he kisses recklessly up and down every available inch. He’s going to leave marks, you realize, and that’s dangerous now that you’re back in Yokohama because you don’t need any of the other executives to get suspicious, but even if you wanted to tell him not to, you don’t think you’d be able to. Whatever little coherency you had left in your thought process does not translate when you try to speak, the only things leaving your lips being shaky moans and gasps of Dazai’s name.
“Made for me,” Dazai groans. His grip on your throat tightens just enough to make the air you breathe in shallow, your head feels light and you’re not sure if it’s because of his grip or if it’s the feeling of his cock bullying so deep into you that you can feel his tip pressing up against your cervix. “Waited so many years for this, feels even better than I remember, pussy’s made for me, isn’t it?”
Dazai babbles into your ear as he fucks you, tongue just as filthy and unbridled as the day he left. Shameless. He’s so shameless. Doesn’t even care that anyone could walk into your office and catch the two of you; doesn’t care that if anyone does, he’ll end up executed. He’s fucking you in a building full of people that want him dead and all he cares about is how your cunt feels wrapped around his cock.
Your breath hitches as Dazai shifts you to bend over just a little more, still keeping your back flush to his chest but fucking you at a new angle—one that nearly sends you spiraling over the edge for a third time. 
“Gonna give me your third now?” he pants. His hand on your lower stomach slips down, lithe fingers dipping between your folds to search for your clit—your back arches against him when he finds it, a sob spilling from your lips, vision swimming with tears. Dazai laughs again, this one is strained, catching over a moan as your walls convulse around him. “Oh, fuck. Fuck, you’re so tight.” 
Unconsciously, his grip on your throat tightens, cutting off even more air. You can hardly breathe, you can hardly think—each thrust of his hips has your head spinning, ripping the little air you can inhale right out of your lungs. The tip of his cock rubs against that spongy spot inside of you every time he snaps his hips against yours, the quick circles he rubs on your clit are electrifying. 
Your cheeks are wet, breath ragged, vision spotty. One last thrust, one last circle, and you’re wrecked, sobbing out his name as your legs give out, only held up by the way he has your thighs pinned to your desk and his hand on your neck. You cum all over his cock so hard that you think you black out for a second, your mind fuzzy and pins and needles pricking all over your body.
Dazai doesn’t stop. He fucks you through your third orgasm, relishing in the way your body twitches and trembles, too sensitive for his touch. 
“Your fourth will come quick,” he gasps. His pace is erratic now, chasing his own release. Your ears are ringing, heartbeat thudding in your ears, the wet, sloppy sound of his cock driving in and out of you resounding through your office. “I don’t think I’ll last for five. Shit, shit, I’m close.”
You have to force yourself to move. You want to see him when he finishes. Your hand wraps around his wrist, nails digging into his skin to try to get his attention. It takes all of your will power to push the two words from your lips: “Flip me.”
He does. Without any sort of hesitation, his hand drops from your throat to your waist. His cock slips out of you for a split second and your cunt aches at the loss, but Dazai is immediately pushing himself back into you as he hoists you up by the thighs, sitting you down on your desk and wrapping your legs around his waist. 
Even through your blurry vision, Dazai is a fucking sight. His dark hair is matted to his forehead, pink lips swollen and wet, cheeks flushed. His eyes glazed over and half rolled back as he chases his high. God, he’s stunning. You’ve missed him. You’ve missed him.
You’re not thinking as you lift your hand to cup his cheek, sliding around to the back of his head to pull his face down to yours, moving on pure instinct. You drag him down to press your lips against his and Dazai is gone. The moment your lips touch his, he’s moaning into your mouth, hips stuttering against you as he spills his cum deep inside of you, and he’s right, because the moment you feel his cum filling you up, warm and thick, so much of it that you can feel it dribbling around his cock, the stickiness smearing against your thighs and ruining your desk, you’re pushed over the edge for the fourth time.
This one is weaker than the rest, not a single noise escapes you but your jaw goes slack and Dazai whimpers into your mouth when he feels your walls tightening around him again. But he takes advantage of your pliancy, pushing you back gently so that your back is flush to your desk. He follows you down, keeping his chest pressed to yours as he maps out your mouth with his tongue. He rolls his hips against yours, slow and deep, fucking his cum deeper into you as the two of you slowly come down from your highs. He slants his lips against yours to deepen the kiss, hand coming up to cup your cheek, his other sliding up and down one of your thighs. 
It’s too intimate. You tell yourself that you only let it happen because you’re reeling from overstimulation but you know it's a lie.
You don’t even know how long you stay in that position with him. It could only be a few seconds, a few minutes, it could’ve been an hour for all you know, laying on your desk with him pressed on top of you, kissing you so passionately that it makes your head spin as much as the orgasms did. 
Finally, you press your hand against his shoulder, signaling for him to get off of you. He does, albeit with a reluctant sigh. You stare up at the ceiling as Dazai shakily rebuttons his pants, making his way over to the closet where you still keep your spare clothes from when you have to stay over at the office to work. 
What did you do?
You’re hyper aware of how swollen your lips are, of the marks littering your neck, of the cum dribbling out of your cunt, staining your desk. 
If anyone finds out about this-
You don’t get to finish the thought, because Dazai comes back over to you. Neither of you speak as he takes a tissue to clean up his cum from your thighs and as it dribbles out of you, nor do you speak when he shifts you into a sitting position, helping you pull on a new pair of panties and a new pair of slacks.
He stands in front of you, dozens of indecipherable emotions rocketing across his face as his dark eyes search your expression for something. You don’t know what, and you don’t even want to look at him but you can’t draw your gaze away from him.
After what feels like forever, he finally speaks.
“I missed you,” he says, voice hoarse as he lifts a hand to cup your cheek. 
You turn away from his touch, ignoring the hurt that flashes through his eyes. 
“Why don’t you believe me? You think four years has changed how I feel about you? I thought you knew me better than that.”
“It’s been four years,” you say, and you hate that your voice wavers a bit. You blame it on still being hazy after your orgasm but you know it’s a weak excuse. You hate that he still has this effect on you after all these years. You hate that you always give into him, and you hate that you know you’ll never get enough of him. You want to hate him, but you can’t. “Knowing how to fuck me isn’t the same as knowing me as a person. I barely know you anymore. You barely know me. And it’s not like you were open with how you felt four years ago. So, forgive me if it’s a bit hard to believe, Dazai.”
“You wear the same perfume. You still shoot with your non-dominant hand for some god forsaken reason. Your lips still twitch whenever you get annoyed even though you do your best to stop it. You-”
“Stop.”
“You still talk to me like you hate me even though your eyes are all soft and you’re leaning in toward me.” Dazai doesn’t stop, and to your horror, he’s right—you had begun to lean in to him instinctively as he spoke. You try to shift away from him, but he follows, fingers grazing your cheek, chest brushing yours. You don’t pull away this time. “I still wear the same cologne you bought me for Christmas because it reminds me of you—I spent two months trying to figure out where you bought it when it first ran out. I don’t carry a gun around as often, but when I do, I still try to do that stupid flipping trick you tried to teach me when we were seventeen—I still can’t do it, almost shot myself in the knee last time I tried.”
The laugh he lets out at the last sentence is hollow. He hesitates, as if he wants to continue but isn’t sure if he should. You can feel his blunt nails scraping gently against your skin, his palm warm against your cheek. You want to pull away but you’ve missed him, no matter how much you try to convince yourself otherwise, and you find yourself sinking into his touch. You’ve always questioned why Mori sent you away for so long, angry because you figured he thought you were weak when it comes to Dazai and he didn’t want to risk anything. 
Only a few days back in Yokohama, and you’re already proving him right.
“I’m not the same person,” you tell him, something desperate edges at your tone. Desperate to convince him, or yourself, you’re not sure.
“I still love you,” he rasps, voice quiet as if he’s scared to admit it even to himself, and your heart is suddenly lodged in your throat as you stare up at him with wide eyes, the words he refused to tell you back when you were teens ringing through your head over and over again. “I’ve always loved you. Thought about you every day. I missed you so much.”
“I should hate you,” you say, swallowing thickly, unshed tears blurring your vision. “You didn’t even say goodbye. When Mori said you defected in the middle of a mission, I laughed in his face. Not because I didn’t think you’d never betray the Port Mafia, but because I didn’t think you’d ever leave me without saying anything.”
“If I said goodbye to you, I never would have left,” Dazai tells you quietly, the admission echoing in your years. “And I had to leave. I had to.”
“I should hate you,” you repeat, voice a bit weaker now, and you feel pathetic for falling apart like this in front of him. But it’s Dazai, he’s always had this effect over you. You suppose some things haven’t changed, because that certainly hasn’t. 
“I know,” he murmurs. 
You inhale deeply, shaking your head as you push yourself off your desk and straighten out your clothes, trying to get your head back on straight. You should’ve known better than to think you’d be able to come back to Yokohama and pretend that Dazai Osamu didn’t exist, for better or for worse, the two of you would always find your way back to each other. Mori was right to send you away, although you suppose the man is rarely wrong anyway.
Dazai doesn’t say anything, watching you with an unreadable expression as you search through the ruined piles of paper on your desk for the report that Akutagawa had handed you. Your eye twitches when you realize that it’s stained, realizing that you’re going to have to rewrite the whole thing because you can’t submit a cum-stained report to Mori.
Dazai snorts behind you, as if realizing your predicament. The look you give him is lethal, he silences himself quickly. 
“Don’t get yourself killed on the way out,” you tell him, grabbing your black jacket off your chair and swinging it over your shoulders as you look back at him. “If you make it out of here alive, I’ll see you at my apartment later. Then we can talk.”
His face twists. “What? Wait, don’t leave me here,” he panics, nearly tripping over his feet and your desk chair to follow after you. “Help me sneak out.”
“You got in here yourself,” you say dismissively. “Get out yourself.”
The noise he lets out is pathetic. “You do hate me,” he accuses. 
“No, I could never,” you admit quietly. His expression softens a bit, but you give him a sharp smile. “But I’m definitely not going to make things easy for you. Akutagawa is still out here prowling around. So is Chuuya, actually. Said he’d be at the office all night today. Good luck, you’re gonna need it.”
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cameronsprincess · 5 months ago
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been thinking about your boyfriend owing rafe and he takes you as payment when your man can’t pay up…
CW: male receiving oral, praise, degradation, hair pulling, rafe forces your boyfriend to watch him throat fuck you.
daydreams 𓆩♡𓆪 main masterlist 𓆩♡𓆪 taglist form
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you’d known your boyfriend fucked up the moment he came home two weeks ago. he’d looked terrified, and his all around vibe was just off.
but when you’d ask him what was wrong, he’d brush you off and say “nothing, all’s good.”
of course, you should’ve pressed harder, but you trusted him, you didn’t think he’d actually gotten himself into real trouble.
but oh how wrong you’d been.
you knew trouble was brewing when rafe cameron had arrived at you and your boyfriends shared apartment, demanding to see jake.
“he’s not home!” you’d lie, hoping rafe would leave and just deal with it later.
rafe would glare at you, his blue eyes dark, and void of any light at all.
“now sweetheart, why would you lie to me like that, huh?”
“i-i’m not lying… he isn’t here.”
rafe would push his way past you and into your apartment like he owned the place. “jake! i know you’re here, bud. come on out.”
you stand by the front door, frozen in fear and unsure of what to do in this situation. you should call the cops, tell them rafe broke in, but that wouldn’t work, he had pretty much the entire police force in his back pocket. you could try and catch him by surprise, find something that would easily take him down, but then there’s thoughts of how badly he’d harm you if you failed at knocking him out..
jake emerges from the bedroom, hands held up in surrender.
“i don’t have the money… yet. i swear, i’ll have it in two-”
rafe tsks, shaking his head at your boyfriend. “i told you, jake. you had two weeks, or i’d take something else from you.” he pauses, his head turning and cold blue eyes landing on your face before he faces jake once more, “didn’t i?”
you hear your boyfriend’s sharp intake of air, your eyes finding his from across the room. you tilt your head to the side, silently asking him what rafe means by “i’d take something else from you.”
“j-jake? what.. what does he mean by that?”
rafe breathes out a laugh, “oh, you didn’t tell her our deal? i don’t know why that doesn’t surprise me, you always were a fucking coward.”
once more, you eye your boyfriend suspiciously while shouting, “what the fuck does he mean, jake! what the fuck do you owe him?”
jake opens his mouth to speak, but rafe quickly cuts him off.
“he owes me two grand. but, he agreed to let me have… something else if he didn’t have my money in that time frame.”
your eyes find rafe’s, “what… what does he owe you?” you ask, though you’re sure you already know.. and you don’t like the thought.
rafe smiles, and you swear it’s the first real smile you’d ever seen on the cameron boy’s face.
“you.” he replies calmly.
your eyes nearly pop out of your skull, your mouth hangs open as you try and take in what’s been said. your boyfriend offered you up as payment if he couldn’t scrape together the two grand. why the fuck did he owe rafe two grand? what the fuck was happening?
“m-me?”
rafe takes two long strides toward you, his right hand reaching out to caress your cheek, “yes, you. and now, it’s time he pays up.”
rafe gently pushes the front door shut, locking it before he places his large hands on your hips. natural instinct has you backing away from his touch, but the look in his eyes has you crushing that thought quickly.
“jake here is gonna watch while his pretty girlfriend chokes on my cock,” he pauses, turning his head to look at your boyfriend who stands fuming across the room. “isn’t that right, jake?”
you barely hear it over the harsh sounds of his breathing, but jake mumbles a low and angry “yes.”
“good boy, see you’re learning.”
rafe turns to face you again, his eyes softening slightly. “now, you’re gonna be a good girl and get on your knees for me, right? no fighting?”
you glance at jake and then rafe again. jake had fucking offered you up like a fucking object, and as much as you didn’t want to do this, you wanted to see jake suffer the way he was making you suffer. though, was sucking rafe cameron’s cock really suffering? he was gorgeous.. he had this aura that drew women in, and even though he was a complete fucking dick, you wouldn’t mind doing this, right?
without giving it another thought, you slowly lower yourself to your knees, your eyes never leaving rafe’s in the process.
“such a good girl, aren’t you?” rafe praises, his large hands working his belt before working his zipper and button of his jeans next.
he drops his jeans, letting them pool around his ankles before he pulls his boxers down next. you eyes go wide at the sight in front of you. long, hard and thick, already dripping with precum, just waiting to have your lips wrapped around it. he was the biggest dick you’d ever seen in your life, and thoughts of him shoving it down your throat or into your pussy had your thighs slick with need, your clit throbbing.
rafe grips his thick shaft in his right hand, his left finding home on the back of your head. he slaps the swollen, dripping tip against the seam of your lips, prompting you to open up for him. you quickly obey, opening your mouth and allowing him to slowly push the tip inside.
the taste of his precum coats your tongue, a low hum of appreciation pulled from your throat. rafe smiles down at you, “your girl gets turned on by sucking dick, that’s hot, jake. why’ve you been hiding her from everyone else? didn’t you know sharing is caring?”
you hear a low growl come from your boyfriend, and you risk taking a peek at him from behind rafe’s tall frame. jake’s fists are balled by his sides, his chest heaving up and down as he keep his eyes on the back of rafe’s head.
rafe’s hand tightens in your hair, pulling your focus back on him. “don’t pay attention to him, pay attention to me. be a good girl, and suck my cock like the good little slut i know you are.”
you nod your head the best you can, placing your hands in your lap as you begin to push your head down, taking his long, thick length down your throat. his tip kisses the back of your throat, pulling a small gag from you before you slowly pull back, strings of spit now coating his dick and pulling with your lips.
you suck in a sharp breath through your nose before you begin bobbing your head up and down, licking and sucking every last inch of him. rafe groans, his hand tightening in your hair again and pushing himself all the way down your throat and holding you there.
tears blur your vision and you shift on your knees. rafe slowly drags your head back before ramming himself back down your throat.
the room is filled with your gurgling sounds and rafe’s grunts of pleasure and praises.
“taking my cock so well, i might just have to keep you for myself.”
rafe’s harsh thrusts grow sloppier, his dick twitching in your mouth before his salty, warm cum coats your tongue and throat.
he slowly slips himself from your mouth, his thumb rubbing your cheek softly as he says, “good girl.”
he quickly tucks himself back into his boxers, working his jeans up his legs and fastening his belt while he turns to face your boyfriend who is now red with anger. “next time you owe me money, i suggest you pay up, or else i’m taking that sweet cunt next.”
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i really had no clue how to end that? lmaoooo. but rafe motherfucking cameron. what a man. tbh, i woulda left with him, fuck my sorry broke ass bf who offered me as payment. is that wrong of me to say? oh well.😌 it’s rafe cameron, its allowed.🖤 alsooooo, this came out a lot longer than i originally expected but oh well🫠
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myballsyourballs · 8 months ago
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OKAY IVE BEEN IMAGINING A HAWKS X BAKUGOUS OLDER BROTHER READER?? okay but here me out bro, reader has been dating hawks for a while now, occasional family dinners at readers house with his parents, not brother, due to the fact that he’s training.
reader never brought up the fact that his younger brother goes to ua, and hawks never said anything about teaching 1a gym time-to-time, one day, reader goes to pick up katsuki early from school, and he realizes hawks is teaching, basically how everyone would react to one, finding out bakugou has a brother, and two he’s dating hawks??
(ps, hawks knew of readers last name, but never thought anything of it,)
big bro
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keigo takami x male! older bakugou brother! reader
genre: fluff and slight crack oneshot (1,300ish words)
notes: i’m not a massive fan of how i wrote this (i don’t think it’s very good) but it’s been sitting in my drafts for months so here you go
synopsis: reader is katsuki's older brother who is dating hawks -- katsuki doesn't know reader is dating hawks, and hawks doesn't know katsuki is reader's brother. it stays that way until reader has to pick up katsuki from school early while hawks is teaching.
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Principal Nezu is shorter than you expect.
You expected him to be a man-sized rat, not a rat-sized man; though you suppose that isn’t an apt description either, given that he’s at least 2 feet tall and most rats aren’t 2 feet tall.
Regardless, he's still pretty intimidating when you run into him in the hall and he starts to ask you what you're doing.
"I'm looking for Bakugou Katsuki -- uh, my little brother. My parents wanted me to pick him up early since we're leaving today to go on a trip." Nezu seriously makes you nervous.
“Bakugou Katsuki is in Hero Training as of right now. You’ll be able to find him in the gym!” He smiles at you, teeth surprisingly white for a rodent. “Make sure to alert his teacher before you leave,” Nezu continues, an unnerving glint in his abyss-like eyes. You decide not to ask why he knows Katsuki’s timetable by heart.
“Sure. Thanks, Principal Nezu,” you smile, offering him a handshake kindly.
“Anytime, Bakugou-san.”
As you step into the gym, the first thing you notice is the smell of sweat. That, and the temperature. Despite the amount of heat emanating from the fire quirks of a select few and the body heat of everyone in the gym, it’s — surprisingly — rather cool. UA's unflinching ability to invest copious amounts of money into air conditioning was impressive. Your eyes trail across the sweeping ceilings and expensive equipment, whistling lowly. I should come here more often.
1-A looks to be split into pairs — sparring, maybe? — each student difficult to view clearly under the thin blanket of steam and smoke that surrounds them. Katsuki, however, is easy to spot among them. His explosions light up the room, the sound of the loud booms only rivalled by his rage-fuelled yelling. You watch, amused. Glad he’s… letting that out.
As much as you didn’t want to interrupt class (the idea of 20 different teenagers having their undivided attention on you was a terrifying thought), the teacher was nowhere in sight and you were running out of time. “Katsuki!” you call, waving at the angry red glare that lands on you. The boy, in response, rolls his eyes snidely and stays rooted on the spot.
You sigh. Little brothers are so goddamn annoying. “Let’s go, dude,” you urge, emphasising your words with a vague ‘hurry up’ gesture. He scowls, but obliges nonetheless, walking slowly over with his hands shoved into his pockets. Once he's in front of you, he stops.
“My teacher isn’t here. I can’t leave yet.”
“Isn’t it their job to, you know, teach? Where the fuck did they go?” You furrow your brows.
“Fuck if I know,” Katsuki responds, matching your curses with equal indifference. “He went with Deku to go and get something.”
“Izuku’s here?”
“Why wouldn’t he be, dumbass? He’s in my class.”
And that’s when you notice the rest of 1-A. 18 pairs of eyes stare at you in utter shock and confusion, burning with questions. Your body stills, awkward under their gazes.
“Is that… your brother?” a red-haired boy with sharp teeth asks, looking between you and Katsuki slowly.
“Yeah,” Katsuki replies nonchalantly.
You take in the other boy's appearance: the insane amount of gel in his weirdly-styled hair, pointed teeth and the fact that he was sparring with Katsuki. Close friend, bad hair?
“You must be Shitty Hair.” you say, prompting half of the class to erupt into giggles. Vaguely, you recall his name is Kirishima, but Katsuki says it so rarely that you barely even associate it with him. ‘Shitty Hair’ blushes at the attention, nodding bashfully with an awkward smile. He rubs the nape of his neck, glancing once again between Katsuki and you.
“I can see how you’re related,” he laughs uncertainly.
“I can see who got the good genes,” a pink-haired girl with horns calls, “clearly not Bakugou.”
“YOU WANNA SAY THAT AGA—”
The doors slam open. You first see Izuku, who pauses at the commotion, and behind him you see… your boyfriend? What the fuck?
“Keigo?”
“[Y/N]?”
“[Y/N]-nii?” Izuku adds.
“Nii?” someone whispers in confusion.
“Hey, Izuku,” you respond weakly.
Silence falls. You take a moment to appreciate Keigo in his hero costume before the dots connect and you turn to Katsuki accusingly.
“He’s your teacher!?”
“He’s your brother!?” Keigo counters.
You turn to your boyfriend. “I told you I have a brother. You know my last name. You’ve literally met my mother and she’s the carbon-copy of Katsuki. Keigo, what even?”
“Er, well, in hindsight, maybe you’re right— but... you’re so nice,” he says, disbelief evident in his wide eyes and confused brows. “And he’s so… not—”
“The fuck did you just say—!?”
“Young man, I will give you a detention if you swear at me again,” Keigo says sternly, schooling his face into something unnaturally serious and crossing his toned arms over his chest. You can see the humour dancing his eyes, prompting you to chuckle quietly.
Katsuki rolls his eyes. “Yes, Hawks-sensei,” he mutters, face contorted into a scowl. He angrily taps his shoe on the ground.
“Stop being a shit,” you chide, grabbing Katsuki by the shoulder roughly and rubbing your knuckles into his skull. The rest of 1-A watches on in absolute disbelief. (Except Izuku. He’s used to this.)
Katsuki groans exasperatedly, “You stop being a shit.”
“Hey!” Hawks gasps dramatically, “don’t call my boyfriend a shit!”
Silence.
You rub a hand over your temple in an attempt to ease your oncoming headache.
“YOUR FUCKING WHAT?!”
“Katsuki—”
The rest of 1-A is left in shock. (Including Izuku, this time). Some start yelling, some look like they’ve turned to stone, the usual. You’re too busy trying to hold back your feral little brother from attacking Keigo — you know he won’t actually, you’re just hoping Keigo knows that too.
“Wait, you’re gay?” A boy who you can recall as Kaminari splutters. Your face crinkles into confusion, nose scrunching like you’ve smelt a bad odour. You can see why Katsuki calls him Dunce Face.
“It runs in the family,” you say, with a pointed look to Katsuki.
His exhaustion must’ve caught up to him since he only offers a middle finger in response. Kaminari bursts into startled and slightly scared laughter.
A warm arm makes its way around your waist and it takes an embarrassing amount of effort for you to suppress a smile. You don’t even have to look at Keigo to know that he’s grinning.
Neither of you are big fans of PDA, but the urge to hug him right now is particularly strong; especially since he’s right there, but there’s also 20 kids right there which sucks and you have to go—
Right. You and Katsuki need to go. That was the point of this whole ordeal.
“Keigo,” you murmur, quiet enough for only him to hear. The rest of the class has ignored the two of you in favour of chatting amongst themselves or questioning Katsuki. Keigo hums, meeting your eyes. He smiles, his golden irises pooling with affection and his arm squeezing gently around your waist, seemingly in a trance. You chuckle, “I need to go.”
He startles. “Right! Right,” he says, clearing his throat. You pretend not to notice the faint tinge of red high on his cheekbones.
“Okay, 1-A. I’m gonna go sort this out quickly,” Keigo says to the class, his voice raised slightly in order to drown out the talking. “So please continue sparring — without quirks — until I’m back. I won’t be long.”
The class answers an affirmative, and then the two of you (plus Katsuki) are out the door. You turn to face Keigo, placing a quick peck on his lips. “I thought I just needed to tell you Katsuki was leaving and then you’d sort it?”
“That’s true… but I missed you,” Keigo sighs wearily, acting like he hadn’t seen you in years. (You spent the night with him literally yesterday.)
“Stop before I tear my fucking eyes out,” Katsuki interrupts. Keigo lifts his head to glare unhappily at him.
“Piss off, Katsuki,” you grumble, placing a slightly longer kiss on Keigo’s lips. You pull away at the realisation that you’re probably late, which means you’ll probably have to face the wrath of Mitsuki Bakugo. “I should— we should go. I’ve stayed way longer than I needed to.”
“Thank fuck,” Katsuki grumbles, occupying himself with his phone. Teenagers.
Keigo groans dejectedly but lets you go nonetheless. He watches you walk away, waving. “Bye, honeybear!”
“Don’t call me that!”
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