#i should be back saturday/sunday
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smashed it with my demo at work 💪
I'll be sparse this week, but i want to write when i can.
grandpa also hurt his back, so i'll be spending time with him. Refused to take an ambulance last night or go see a doctor today.
#ooc#so happy the demo went well#just have to hand it over to another dev to use now#I've something happening each day this week#including a friendo's wedding on friday#i should be back saturday/sunday#and things should calm down a lot too
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Fuck It Friday ☔️
I was tagged by @daffi-990 @jamespearce9-1-1 @eddiebabygirldiaz @wikiangela and @jeeyuns thank youuu 💛
Aside from some editing, my Christmas fics are all done and now I can slowly return to my main wips, so I thought I'll post a snippet from Eddie's pov in the mudslide fic (most of that part is just too spoilery and I rarely share from it, but this bit was waiting to come out for a while now, so here 🫶).
He mostly thought about Christopher; imagined him waking up in the morning, pestering Buck for breakfast and news he couldn't give, going to school and coming home, sitting at the dining table, doing his homework… Just normal things.
He would’ve given anything to be with them right now. To walk out of his room in the morning and see Buck’s sleep-rumpled face, his curls flat on top of his head, his smile lazy and crooked and his bare feet on Eddie’s living room carpet.
To watch the tattoos shift on Buck’s naked shoulders as he stretched and to hear his hoarse voice as he mumbled out a quiet “morning” on his way to the bathroom. To smell the scent of his overnight sweat still lingering on his skin while making their coffees side by side, waiting for Christopher to finally shuffle out of his room for breakfast.
To hear the sleepy mumble stifled in his own ribs as Chris gave him his good morning hug and see the toothy grin tugging at his lips as Buck entertained him throughout breakfast, making him giggle with his silly facts and jokes.
To yell “come on, we're gonna be late” at the front door as Chris ran back inside for a book he forgot and then to yell again after Chris was back but Buck just realised he had left his phone on the kitchen counter.
To sit in the car and talk about after-school plans and listen to the radio on a low volume before dropping Chris off with a hug each and then to bundle back into the truck and head to work together, barely just having enough time to stop for one of those creamy coffee monstrosities Buck liked so much — that somehow Eddie learned to like too, only if to indulge in the fantasy of what Buck’s lips would taste like on his own.
✨no pressure tagging: @malewifediaz @spagheddiediaz @hippolotamus @disasterbuckdiaz @nmcggg @thewolvesof1998 @watchyourbuck @theotherbuckley @fortheloveofbuddie @ladydorian05 @rainbow-nerdss
#this is gonna be so domestic you just wait#gonna get back to this asap but I slept 3.5 hours last night and didn't really have any writing mojo today#but there is still saturday and sunday!#and then from next thursday I'm gonna be home for 12 days#which SHOULD be enough to finish the mudslide fic and the breeding fic#and then hopefully I could get closer with the jealous eddie fic too#gah I know I'm rambling but I'm so excited to have all this free time to write about my boys#🥹#I'll shut up now#buddie#911#wip#the mudslide fic
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she's beauty she's grace she's Miss Eevee Cosplay 3.0
#personal#pls don't ask me why i'm up at 2am i don't wanna talk about it#anyway i think she's mostly done maybe#i did some more work on the bangs on the wig after i took these pictures so they look better#and i might try to find some flowery earrings when i go to the store for some other stuff tomorrow#but all the major things are done. i think.#honestly i'm all over the place rn so i could be forgetting something#i keep bouncing back and forth between the one million things i have to do (con and not con-related)#anyway i usually try to do a different cosplay every day of con but idk i think i'll just wear flower eevee both saturday and sunday#bc i've put so much work into it and tbh i don't think i can handle trying to get another cosplay ready rn#the only exception would be maybe doing eevee 1.0 or 2.0 bc have everything except the wigs for those ready bc of eevee 3.0#totoro is friday bc my friends and i are doing a ghibli group!!#i wish i had a different ghibli cosplay just bc i've done totoro so much but i do love totoro and she's easy and comfy so that'll be nice#sorry shutting up now i need to go to bed i have WORK TOMORROW#cries#i should start taking off the whole week of convention lol#(no i shouldn't i should just get back in the habit of getting my cosplays done early and not con crunching -.-)
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The nice thing about this house is that it has a laundry room.
The not-so-nice thing about this house is that the only way to access the laundry room most of the time is via the landlady's room, and she will sometimes randomly come home in the middle of me doing laundry and ofc shuts the door (as one does). And goes to bed. And I'm just sitting there like ma'am I need my laundry back
(it can be accessed, in theory, from the outside of the house as well, but she never remembers to undo the deadbolt and screen door latch when she comes back, so...useless, essentially)
#personal#thank goodness I now have an extra set of bedsheets#should have moved things before I ate dinner since she went out#but I figured that I had more than a half-hour window???#normally it's not an issue that things sit overnight since I have two assigned laundry days and always go on the first one#buuut one of my roommates traded Saturday for Sunday with me this week because she had a back injury#so she'll want to go tomorrow#and unfortunately I like sleeping in on weekends#this would be less of an issue if I had gotten things to the dryer
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sometimes when a con is coming up my coworkers and hang out after work at some space at our workplace making our cosplays which is great and chill bc i love doing my crafts in an environment where i feel at ease. anyways. one of them needs to look after her cat and she suggested that we do our thing at her place. which. yeah ofc! but also day instantly ruined from slight deviation to plans. i was supposed to go home. grab my materials. eat. grab an energy drink to go and drink it while sitting on the floor of a meeting room doing stuff to foam clay. but now i have to go to someone's house. i havent been there before. i am not at ease at anyone's house almost ever. i will be too anxious to get shit done. i will not be able to enjoy my energy drink as i dont want to be sipping it at someones House yknow. and i'm also terrified of being in the way or in someone's turf when im not at all familiar with the place. i cant sit on the floor at someones fancy home idk if i can manage working under conditions that aren't shrimp pose.
#i will be SO brave tonight at the cost of my social battery#which is fine ig since i dont have work tomorrow. just fun things.#but friday and saturday will b suuper busy as there's a music festival i actually enjoy and im going there with 2 friends 2nd year in a row#which will also be fun#but draining#but not so draining that it would require anything more than sleeping in on sunday#anyways do you guys think i should finally do something about my social anxiety#i mean i should and i could bc of work healthcare but idk how to do that#i need a step by step#and i cant get one bc ill just get a ''just call there''#which. i can do phonecalls nowadays. but i will not be able to say anything i want to so i will need to prepare#anyways welcome to my anxiety rant i will now go back to editing on the clock lmao#leevi talks
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kissing the person who wrote this article on the mouth so sweetly
#it also talks about one of the things I actually walked back on mentally w/nick calling her by her family name rather than her given name#bc early on I was like well it’s probably just the writers navigating it oddly since I don’t think they were involved w/ro laren episodes#and maybe it was that I can’t say for sure yknow#but eventually i realized whether it’s a deliberate choice or not there’s something really interesting in the fact that like.#I do believe nick genuinely cares about her. but that doesn’t mean he took the time to consider whether his world view was universal#or to ask presumably the only nonhuman team member if there was anything he should know about referring to her#and ro laren says a lot of bajorans accept the distortion of their names in order to assimilate and I could see that being her#idk anyway sito saturday on a sunday#sito#tng
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really torn because i have the opportunity to go east for the sheltie club's main show at the end of the month. and i would like to, and it will be easier now mentally to do it while im still in my doing terrifying things phase. but it doesn't really make sense going without showing Troja, but i don't want it to seem like we had one good weekend and now I'm coming out thinking we'll sweep, you know. i still know her faults and i know her CQ was from a very generous judge that specifically looks for the one thing Troja has in buckets. she'll also be out of coat by then.
i think it'd be good for all three of us, because we're *all* deeply undersocialized. and it's not like *i* have anything to lose, really. and i've never had the opportunity to just go do things before, and i only just now have the chance to be active in my breed, and and. but i still feel idk. conflicted.
#im afraid it'll seem idk what the english term is#råflott#excessive? presumptuous?#it's a double/triple show friday-sunday#with a complete show friday for a minor CAC#and a two-day show (males saturday females sunday) for a grand CAC#(takes two minors and a grand to make CH and there are only 11(?) grand-awarding shows in a year)#(so yknow)#(ugh)#my logic is that we can be list fillers and the bigger the class the more fun it is for whoever places to place#but im also. you know. scared of people.#my sib says enter for both - show on friday - feel it out for sunday#which is def an option#if we DID go and show both days + go back to sunnmøre for the autumn show that'd make six shows this year#because i'm already entered for our local one - breeder says both judges listed for that are good sheltie judges#i also feel like i should Show Up With Something for the prizes which i probably should because i am. somehow?#a working goldsmith but also 'would you like me to make something? 🥰' is just. a ridiculous phrase#deeply presumptuous#a terrible thing#just horrible#but if i were to go anywhere anytime it would be easier to do it now when maybe 2 or 3 ppl maybe remember my face#vs having to start all over next year#i want to be a part of this breed i really do im just#scared of people :)
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okay, hopefully the sleep reset means my sleeping schedule will be back to mostly diurnal for now
#ever since getting back from vacation my brain has been like 'no yeah we should stay up until at least one in the morning'#and that is not so helpful for waking up at six am for work#but i stayed up from saturday afternoon until sunday evening and then slept until this morning#so hopefully we should be back on track
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tomorrow is my first day back at school since early last year!! and if i actually attend for at least the next 3 weeks then it will be the longest continuous attendace i've had since halfway through 2021
#i'm very excited to go back but also nervous as hell#which i would be regardless of how long it's been since it's a new school#spooky stuff but i should be fine i'm sure it will be great and help a lot :D#i'm a litle worried it'll be too much with work on top of school tho i don't want to quit my job (i mean i do but i want to save up money)#but ah we'll see i might just take myself off saturdays#which i also don't want to do. but if it gets too stressful then that's less drastic then quitting altogether#and sunday is paid much higher than sat#eh anyway we'll just see. one day at a time etc etc
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I’ve come to the conclusion in the last few weeks that working full time and studying full time leaves me little to no a) time b) energy to do what really matters the most to me which is to read my silly little stories about the same two (2) goddamn characters falling for each other again and again and it makes me real fucking sad
#should i quit work or should i quit school or should i quit both and become a hermit#rot away on my couch with my ereader#im pulling 60 hour weeks rn with work and school combined and im ready to yeet myself into oblivion#i know it could be worse but jfc im just a baby i shouldnt suffer like this#saturday is my first day off after a 12 day work/school streak#i have the day planned by MINUTE of what im going to read watch from tv and eat for maximum relaxation#and back to work on sunday for that double pay 🤑🤑🤑#stuff about my sorry excuse of a life
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i actually think today is going to be really good for me. and tomorrow i'm going to go to boxing and if my coach is mad at me then ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm i'll die 4ever but also it'll be okay. and then SATURDAY. i don't know. but i'll be okay. i'll be Alright. Is! The! Thing! god i need to start writing again........ sunday might be a shitshow but next week !!!!! will also quite likely be a shitshow but i think in a kind of glorious hysteric maybe a bit hypermanic way
#the thing is i AM going to get this essay done before work today even if i have to make a deal with the literal devil for it#and then work today will be good for me i genuinely think just to sort my fucking head out#i don't think i'm going to get the chance to make the soup i wanted to make but that's fine#and boxing tomorrow morning will be excellent and i'll get back to going 3x a week next week !!!!!!!#work Tomorrow should also be good <3 and i'll submit my OTHER essay#and saturday i'll try get out and do something because i think it's important that i remember how to interact with people#sunday . well . we'll hope for the best . i think i need to buy my friend a birthday present on sunday .#guys can you tell i'm terrified out of my mind for how the rest of this week is going to go.........
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Currently at that absolutely worse stage of packing, where most of what's left is stuff you actually use, so either you can't pack it and have to just let it sit there still needing to be done, or pack it up and then are constantly getting back into it 😑
Also since my move in date is Saturday I will be moving most of the weekend and so have had to do all my homework ahead of time, meaning I spent the entirety of yesterday and the day before packing, running errands, and doing homework.
I had also hoped to go see Killers of the Flower Moon on Friday night, but will probably have to wait until Sunday instead oy vey
#cannot WAIT until this move is over#I hate moving soooo much#I'm very excited to be IN my new apartment but at what cost??#at least unpacking should be pretty quick and dirty#I'm moving as much as I can in my mom's car on Saturday and maybe Sunday#and leaving the furniture and heavy stuff until lenore gets back and we can use the truck#not sure if I'll be staying in their apartment or mine until then it'll depend on how quickly we get the other stuff moved
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I have an absolute perfect storm of a shift coming up in April and I can’t decide whether I should cancel it
#i’ll set the scene for you: 9th april. easter sunday. the cafe is going to be absolutely Mental that day i just know it#i am on shift with: my manager (who’s lovely but she will be in the office all day doing managerial shit unless it gets so busy we literally#can’t cope); another new girl (who’s fairly nice); and my most hated coworker (who made me cry last week)#and to cap it off: i’m probably going to get my period that day!!!!! or maybe the day before which would be even worse since it’s a saturday#and i’m also working that day#why did i so cavalierly say ‘yeah weekends work really well; give me weekend shifts’#i’ve gone ahead and figured out when all my future periods are and put a ‘DO NOT ACCEPT A SHIFT ON THIS DAY OR DAY BEFORE OR AFTER’#on my calendar on the expected day 1 of my period#i just don’t know what to do. because what if i cancel it (offer up my shift in the rota app) and then my period is late anyway#i would feel so stupid. and if i get it on the saturday there’s not much point cancelling sunday because yeah day 2 is still bad#but if i survive a day 1 at work i can survive a day 2#the demon on my shoulder is like ‘quit’ but i LIKE this job and more importantly i don’t want to go back to job hunting#i’ve spent the whole morning searching up like ‘how to survive your period at work’ and gotten Nothing Of Use lmao#it’s all aimed at people with desk jobs and girl if i was allowed to sit down that’d be like 90% of my problems gone immediately#should i just go on birth control. should i call the doctor while mabel has lunch and see if i can get in on friday#that might be the cheat code honestly. just straight up skip that period and get it the next week#BC does give me absolutely wild mood swings which is why i’m not on it but like.. surely there’s One out there that won’t mess me up#like i was on loestrin for about 4 years i think. rigevidon messed me up but surely it’s not the only one that’s appropriate for me??#i’ll try to call them soon. gotta feed mabel first#personal
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so I’m back home and I’ve got about 4 days until I go to uni
#I’m kind of sad I’m back home since I had a great time in Tenerife#the food was AMAZING 🥰#but anyways#I’ve got 3 shifts left#ive got a morning shift#opening shift and then an evening shift#so pretty nice and easy#my last shift is on the thursday this week#I’m not like leaving - I’m transferring#but if all goes well I won’t start working at my new place until like October ish#but this whole transferring process has been a nightmare#I could probably write a seperate post about it 😭😭#so on the agenda aside from work I need to get my uni stuff sorted#like I think I’ve bought everything I need it’s just sorting#I also need to tidy my room and pack the stuff I’m going to take with me#my move in process should be quite smooth since majority of people moved in yesterday#so I don’t think there will be loads of people moving in on the Saturday#my accom has a groupchat which is really nice#I was super jealous because there were a ton of free snacks yesterday and I love a good freebie :(#I’m also in another groupchat for people in my accom that go to the same uni as me#so basically with the accommodation I’ve got it has students from different unis#so that will also be an exciting experience I think#but everyone on the groupchat seems really sweet and nice#I think there’s a meet up we are planning this Sunday so I can’t wait to meet everyone#gatherrambles#thegapyeardiaries#g/theunidiaries#<- :D
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OPEN HEART SURGERY... 2!!!!!!!
#it happened yesterday lol#i waa supposed to leave the hospital on like saturday or sunday but they noticed smth when they got my x-rays#so i had to go back and let them cut me open again to fix it:) yippee.#on the bright side it was way less intense than the first one and like i said it happendd yesterday so i'm already feeling better.#but yknow. still annoying.#but it's over now so i should be able to go home in the next couple days (possibly tomorrow yippee!!)
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you are literally streaming rn
#whatever they arent even being paid#that aside i think its so cool that earlier that day the episode where they start working at the ryokan was released#i think megumi said its three days two nights? presumably over the weekend. and this was streamed on the saturday#so the friday was covered in the main story the saturday was the with×meets and the sunday will be the other half of the main story episode#gemitus#hmhm the way sayaka's talking makes it seem like their first day was saturday. so maybe the monday they were off school#tsuzuri had a stream on the monday lets see#omg sayaka and megumi conflict?#sayaka: it seems megumi-senpai has been planning this. but it isnt really going to plan... tsuzuri: megu will fix it#sayaka: oh? tsuzuri: mhm. megu is nice. sayaka: its weird that youre siding with megumi-senpai all of a sudden!#tsuzuri is feeling weird bc shes never had both megumi and sayaka at the same time#and that she talked to megumi during her break but wasnt able to bring her back like ruri was#tsuzuri called sayaka useful for beinh able to put her feelings into words and rhen said that thanks to saya kaho and ruri#they were able to bring megu back and she says 'megu is my friend. shes always nice'#sayaka gets annoyed that tsuzuri calls megumi nice but sayaka is only 'useful'. so tsuzuri tries to correct herself by saying shes both#which. doesnt help. she says sayaka understands her. and that this year shes been able to breathe#ok tsuzuri's stream: she said saya was mad at her after the last one so she asked why and saya told her its rude to call someone useful#(i think i should have translated it as Convenient) so now shes asking chat what she should call her instead lmao#'hm.. saya was making a big fuss over megu. i wonder if she wants to be friends. ah! if my friend makes friends with my friend..#thats a triangle! キンキンキン (triangle noises)#she was playing daruma-san ga koronda with chat (comments are movement) and the comments she sees when she turns around are out#but she read out peoples names when she saw them so people wanted to be out lmao#'everyone? you dont understand the rules? maybe im bad at explaining...'
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