#i shant say what im thinking
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PAC photographed by Beyond Gorilla +
#pac#aew#aewedit#*edits#GOD#i shant say what im thinking#beyond gorilla posts a new pac photo#and i feel my mind body and soul instantly rejuvenate#q
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making my own season salt with paprika and garam masala
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the priest guy from midnight mass is so...
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Do u do animations?
on rare occasion yes! normally they're too much effort and i end up only thinking really hard about making one instead of actually doing it, but right now i'm working on a scene with the @back-to-the-bttf crew to reanimate the whole first movie! it's very fun. i get to do what i want
#not to toot my own horn but i think people are going to really like this scene im working on. reasons i shant say#guys in the bttbttf discord you know what's up (;#if you know the basic gist of animating and there's a scene in the movie you wish to impart your visions on i highly recommend joining!#everyone's own segments are so cool the finished product will be so baller#kit yap session#bttf
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SYNTHESIS.
{You’re intimately familiar with all the gears that work together to form you.}
#torn fabric / OTiF#isat#in stars and time#isat isabeau#um. i shant say#artistic nudity#ns.tiff#ok anyways. hi have i made it obvious lisa doesn't feel like a human being anymore#that's the theme i'm playing with with him :)#because i'm also inhuman and i think it's a fun theme!#becoming so devoted to a task that you become the task itself#not a fighter no longer a defender. you protect. it's what you do; what you are#a well oiled machine and nothing more nothing less#rational has the actual meat of the explanation but im not done writing it!#for fun details tho: isabeau/the protector. he/it#ok thats my autism expect an alt piece to go along with the song
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watching pope movie fun. the Vatican should be redacted to the redacted
#mincing my words#you better believe i had a pope candle growing up. trust the duchess#you better believe we had holy water in the house in one of those. virgin Mary... bowls#its not a bowl but ykwim. the catholics would know#weihwasserbehälter idk girl like for eigengebrauch on the wall#and every time we left my mother would dunk her finger in and draw a weihwasser cross on our foreheads. gott schütze dich#i had a. guy who is. the holy guy for travel. no no let me guess actually#antonius#does that ring true#i think antonius is the guy my grandma prays to when she loses sth#anyway so i had a ring depicting catholic hermes for on my bike#ah und das weihwasser war original aus Lourdes#now#what im trying to say is#i grew up catholic#idk where i was going with this#anyway having a major party called CHRIIIIIISSTTTLICHEEEE#demokratische union#it feels like#ein Widerspruch in sich#i do support Religionsfreiheit but let me be vulnerable here#organized religion is....#no i shant say#pers
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i do love that i went "ok lets be so simple with this v-day fic. we have another longer fic to finish and bingo ideas so keep it simple." and then proceeded to not do that. and i keep adding stuff. not mad about it & it gives me a lot of motivation to like be on myself with work-life-fun balance etc (& the fact i see my companion soon yippee!) but. christ. i combined two prompts. it was super super simple but like what's even going on. well a lot but. it's fine. i also think i feel like if id just known myself my plot could be better vs. my aim of short and sweet which is now. longer. but whatever we stay balling
#does one not bring habits#whatthenesmith#idk what my system is anymore#got distracted by reading my own writing#oh tozer i dont know if ur in character and we are already just#accepting that this edward little is my edward little and it is what it is#we are still learning and thinking thoughts#i miss when i just had to hone in one character oh jamie mccrimmon days#im chosing to do this tho i have many thoughts i think itd like to write about#i also want to finish my original work i think if i like#no i shant say it actually nevermind#killconey i miss you girl
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been unspeakably horny for like 3 weeks straight im starting to get scared. well anyway. happy year
#scared bc for some reason my brain keeps forcing images of one of my coworker's into my periphery and i do NOT like him like that !!!!!#for once i can confidently say i am not into this man at all in the slightest so i need this to cease before i drive myself insane 🙏#one time like many many months ago idek how long ago me and him and someone else were talking in the office and#idk what it was the angle we were standing or the lighting idk what but he fluttered his little eyelashes and i got instantly wet#it was so weird and sudden and most of all unconscious that i had to walk away#usually i'd have to establish To Myself . In My Brain that im attracted to someone before i have a bodily reaction to them if thatmakessense#ever since then i have been. concerned#but anyway hes a 30-something receding hairline doomer libertarian former army guy. so NO !!!!!!!!#on the other hand he's got rich lesbian moms who already like me 🤔 on the other hand they are old republican white ladies.#on the one hand he's always pretty nice to me even when i dont deserve it and he says yes ma'am when i ask him to do things 👀#on the other hand he will adjust his balls no matter the situation or setting it pisses me off every time.#AND HE STINKS sometimes which is probably the worst of all#but above all else he is the spitting image (and personality) of charlie kelly . truly a mixed bag#anyway i think the scary part is i do think that if i really truly wanted to i could fuck him at a moment's notice i get the feeling he'd be#down. but with all the negatives ik i dont actually want to im just lonely and want some validation more than anything else#so i shant do a thing about it. but tell that to my pussy!#2025: i am mature now. but i be knowing things.
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I have crawled out of my "only doing art studies pit" to craft a piece so full of love, and I shall now post that piece before once again disappearing to cry over anatomy
#simon says#i shit you not I dont think I've loved a piece so much before#it's like#i hand crafted this piece out of love for myself and no one else and it brings me such joy#and it's gonna be weird as fuck#i shit you not you're gonna think im joking after I do the alt text and post this one#you're gonna think 'haha what a funny joke they made' NO#this is SERIOUS#I made this piece with every single bone in my body and every ounce of love I possess to make myself happy#in the span of two days#forcing myself out of my comfort zone multiple times in the process#and learning so much#and I guarantee people will think it is a joke and that all of this is ironic#it is not#none of what my next post will be is ironic#i am just putting that out there now#i know as an artist one will interpret my art in their own unique way based off their experiences#and I have no control over that#nor do I want to#but I do want to put my own personal intentions loud and clear here#the meaning of the piece is very personal and I shant share it lest it ruin the viewer's experience with it#but I do want to make it clear that none of this is going to be ironic
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one day i'll get the courage to say the words i want
#sage's diary#011#11/22/2024#(currently a bit high while making this so forgive me)#hate being so scatterbrained like this. makes it hard to formulate thoughts and say the right things#this is what i get for having unmedicated ADHD i guess#while sometimes i wanna say whats on my mind. its also best if i just didn't say anything at all i think#“i want to be mysterious so bad but i just cannot shut the fuck up”-type beat#i always wanna say certain things towards certain people but constantly hesitate so i don't risk discomfort or even just embarrassing mysel#i think its just. wanting to be my TRUE self around people but feelign like i have to hold back lest i drive people away? idk#or maybe im just overthinking things cause im high and its late#regardless. i wish i could really say whats on my mind alot of the time but i shant.....#in actual news WE FINALLY GOT OUR LIGHTS TO WORK :DDDDD so now we're not just relying on lamps for light sources!!! yippee!!!!!#also hoping to actually get more owed art done tomorrow. its only 2 pieces but it feels like so much more to meeee :[#i think i'll be fine. we'll see
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loveee when a character is crushed under the weight of someone elses expectations for them love when a character dedicates their entire life to something they never even wanted for themself love when the only reason a character keeps going is because theyre Supposed to and bc theyre supposed to make another person happy/proud. YES !!! CLAPPING !!! YES !!!!!!!!
#this isnt rly related to any character in particular i just thought abt this and it made me scream.#flirting at a bar Damn girl you look like youre trapped in a life you built to please someone else. and then i kneel down and pull out a 💍#sry i ran out of space for the full word ring. also why when i type 💍 Ohh theyre hiding it. bc now the emoji is 💍 Oh they changed it again#pox on their home..originally it was 🔐 sughested emoji#but then the second time it was 😭.... very anti marriage. well ig maybe the sob could be like OMG... YES!!!!! I WILL MARRY YOU!!!!!!#ngl getting proposed to is such a big fear of mine like. i dont think id ever be able to propose to someone so id have to be proposed to i#suppose but it makes me quite nervous not bc im like ohh nooo dont propose i just rly worry ill react the wrong way and theyll change their#mind. like its a very high emotion moment so ik i would be supposed to be emotional And i would be but idk if id do it in the right way . y#idk. what if my autism looms and i end up just being like 😐 on accident. fuckkk. what if i say somethinf dumb. like i try to be like YES !#but instead im like YEP! god. can you imagine. id have to just bury myself at that point. so embarassing. or like what if i get excited and#flap my hands but it was supposed to be more of a like. joyful crying type of thing... or what if im supposed to just be shocked and like .#Oh my god ....#and am I supposed to run at them and sweep them into a hug or do they do thst to me. UGH. ITS SO STRESSFUL. i suppose ill just remain alone#forever so I never have to confront any difficult situations ever again . Joke .#idk it just makes me nervous. but i suppose hopefully the person proposing to me will love me . that would be nice so hopefully they wont#mind if i dont respond the right way . and they wont be upset with me bc they love me eversomuch. a girl can dream i suppose... my head lik#is pounding sry. i need to sleep probably.. stayed up too late again -_- 8am -_- and im sposed to do laundry today But i dont want to . and#since im gonna fall asleep i fear it shant happen. UGHHH#wtvr. idk what my ideal proposal would be likeee. i don't want to be blindsided ig#i like surprises but Obviously im too worried abt like. my immediate reaction#+ i think its important to talk abt marriage Before proposing just so everybodys like#on the same page and such. Obvs... but ya. i dont think id want a super public proposal like. id like it to be somewhere nice with maybs#significance to our relationship and such. and its fine if theres like Some passersby but id hate for it 2 be like. somewhere crowded. or i#a restaurant or something#Altho if it was in a restaurant maybe we could get free food..#but maybe that can be just fake proposals later on. and our real proposal can be somewhere else. YIPPEEE. me and my imaginary future spouse#who is To be honest rather bare minimum#normal girl will be like Wistful sigh maybe my future spouse will even love me and wont scream at me and will like to listen to me speak 😍#but anywyas. my beddybye time. SURPRISE GN POST#woahhthis got off topic i forgot what the original post was this always happens. i do love characters like that
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WHY IS EVERYUONE LOOKING AT ME .
#ramblings#^ /lhj#beef ys dynamic save me. beef ys dynamic fix me#beef feeling hes broken beyond repair and that everyone actually hates him but proven wrong by how much patience ys shows him#i think if ys's protective instincts kicked in while he was breaking down thatd do something to him. something good but itd#also give him a headache (to actually finally start to grasp that he doesnt hate him)#<- WHEN I SAID I HAD MEANIES IDEAS THAT ENDED IN COMFORT THIS IS IT THIS WAS WHAT I WAS ROTATING#this is also why im about to cry over him because. actually i shant say but the idea of ys having so much of his own shit going on#but still gives beef patience and care. its an idea that means a lot to me#okay now stop looking at me /j
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okso am i close & did inmiss anyone & are any if these wrong ?
ermmm waell theres one more U forgot….. (hint it’s YOU!!!!!!!!!😊😊😊🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️😊😊😊😊😊😊😊)
#pizza man is more due 2 osmosis i dont know him but all my mutuals loved him so i loved him 2#and reigen YES YES UES YES YES . i shant say whats in my heart But yet i would smooch him sooooo much#im tryna think if theres any more .. u know me sao well baby girl …..#WILLIAM AFTON but specifically bunnycat version… if u dunno wha that is search on youtube hehehehe🤭🤭 shes my Bee eff eff bunnycat#OH AND VEX from sackboy a big adventure his designs awesome#i never flly talk about those last 2 though smooching them is more like a hobby#whereas everyone else Well ahem hem … hehe#my asks#my beautiful wife
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i think asepsis could make lyke so much worse
#fwiw i also dont think brnine would handle aterika'kaal well. aterika'kaal just cant be handled that well -#- unless youre willing to actually feed it#hmmm. (thinking of ways to satiate atertika'kaal without having it straight-up kill people)#. god i just want lyke to have a second shot with aterika'kaal it would be so stupid of him but i want him to go for it so so so bad#and it works either way if he does still have amnesia coming back in sangfielle 2 or if he doesnt#(im still not sure on this i have it in memory as being somewhat vague at the end of his epilogue)#i think id like it better if he didnt because everyone would be sooo mad at him. then again if he did everyone would be soo mad at him stil#hed just be like what come on. im not gonna make the same mistakes as that other guy(me who i dont remember)#i shant have expectations that can be disappointed but its so fun to think about it just is#thinking about lyke always has me smiling serenely.i like that guy i enjoy him#i also got offtrack and actually forgot what i had to say about asepsis.sorry#i still think im right though.#rosa talk
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looking back on all my y7 comics is so funny but now im compelled to organize them 'chronologically' and see what that looks like
#snap chats#i also wanna stick em in a book... nay.. i shant...#Point Is LOL#sorry just saw my fave masada| comic of mine and was like#'oh this is before arakawa gets necked isnt it thats hilarious'#but then i realized before THAT wouldve been aoki asking jo to kill arakawa#all things ive done comics of#so now im just sitting here thinking 'how many y7 comics HAVE i done and how many of them can i organize in order'#sounds like it could be funny....#ok my tummy hurt by. i have one more comm to do and then uhhh#idk the demons are whispering to me to play SADX </3#'snap what happened to shadow' i am taking a BREAK i love my son but i also have to play Relatively The Same Route#like 28 times ok. i need to look at something else for a hot minute#ALSO I MISS MY CHAOS I WANNA SAY HI TO THEM#awful so for the past couple days my dads been calling me Every Day#i called him like Twice this past two weeks which is a LOT more than usual#and every time i did i was always crying or whatever so ig he was finally like 'lmao wait.... we should call more often....'#and now we do so im happier now :) i forget why this is relATE DI REMEMMERB#ITS BECAUSE EVERY TIME HE GOES TO HANG UP HE'LL BE LIKE 'laters :) One More Thing--'#LIKE OLD MAN YOU SAID BYE ALREADY but then i realize... of course.. im doing the exact same thing...#ok bye fr this time BYE
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IM FREE FROM SPLATFEST
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