#i shant say what im thinking
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PAC photographed by Beyond Gorilla +
#pac#aew#aewedit#*edits#GOD#i shant say what im thinking#beyond gorilla posts a new pac photo#and i feel my mind body and soul instantly rejuvenate#q
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making my own season salt with paprika and garam masala
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the priest guy from midnight mass is so...
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Do u do animations?
on rare occasion yes! normally they're too much effort and i end up only thinking really hard about making one instead of actually doing it, but right now i'm working on a scene with the @back-to-the-bttf crew to reanimate the whole first movie! it's very fun. i get to do what i want
#not to toot my own horn but i think people are going to really like this scene im working on. reasons i shant say#guys in the bttbttf discord you know what's up (;#if you know the basic gist of animating and there's a scene in the movie you wish to impart your visions on i highly recommend joining!#everyone's own segments are so cool the finished product will be so baller#kit yap session#bttf
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SYNTHESIS.
{You’re intimately familiar with all the gears that work together to form you.}
#torn fabric / OTiF#isat#in stars and time#isat isabeau#um. i shant say#artistic nudity#ns.tiff#ok anyways. hi have i made it obvious lisa doesn't feel like a human being anymore#that's the theme i'm playing with with him :)#because i'm also inhuman and i think it's a fun theme!#becoming so devoted to a task that you become the task itself#not a fighter no longer a defender. you protect. it's what you do; what you are#a well oiled machine and nothing more nothing less#rational has the actual meat of the explanation but im not done writing it!#for fun details tho: isabeau/the protector. he/it#ok thats my autism expect an alt piece to go along with the song
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I have crawled out of my "only doing art studies pit" to craft a piece so full of love, and I shall now post that piece before once again disappearing to cry over anatomy
#simon says#i shit you not I dont think I've loved a piece so much before#it's like#i hand crafted this piece out of love for myself and no one else and it brings me such joy#and it's gonna be weird as fuck#i shit you not you're gonna think im joking after I do the alt text and post this one#you're gonna think 'haha what a funny joke they made' NO#this is SERIOUS#I made this piece with every single bone in my body and every ounce of love I possess to make myself happy#in the span of two days#forcing myself out of my comfort zone multiple times in the process#and learning so much#and I guarantee people will think it is a joke and that all of this is ironic#it is not#none of what my next post will be is ironic#i am just putting that out there now#i know as an artist one will interpret my art in their own unique way based off their experiences#and I have no control over that#nor do I want to#but I do want to put my own personal intentions loud and clear here#the meaning of the piece is very personal and I shant share it lest it ruin the viewer's experience with it#but I do want to make it clear that none of this is going to be ironic
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one day i'll get the courage to say the words i want
#sage's diary#010#11/22/2024#(currently a bit high while making this so forgive me)#hate being so scatterbrained like this. makes it hard to formulate thoughts and say the right things#this is what i get for having unmedicated ADHD i guess#while sometimes i wanna say whats on my mind. its also best if i just didn't say anything at all i think#“i want to be mysterious so bad but i just cannot shut the fuck up”-type beat#i always wanna say certain things towards certain people but constantly hesitate so i don't risk discomfort or even just embarrassing mysel#i think its just. wanting to be my TRUE self around people but feelign like i have to hold back lest i drive people away? idk#or maybe im just overthinking things cause im high and its late#regardless. i wish i could really say whats on my mind alot of the time but i shant.....#in actual news WE FINALLY GOT OUR LIGHTS TO WORK :DDDDD so now we're not just relying on lamps for light sources!!! yippee!!!!!#also hoping to actually get more owed art done tomorrow. its only 2 pieces but it feels like so much more to meeee :[#i think i'll be fine. we'll see
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loveee when a character is crushed under the weight of someone elses expectations for them love when a character dedicates their entire life to something they never even wanted for themself love when the only reason a character keeps going is because theyre Supposed to and bc theyre supposed to make another person happy/proud. YES !!! CLAPPING !!! YES !!!!!!!!
#this isnt rly related to any character in particular i just thought abt this and it made me scream.#flirting at a bar Damn girl you look like youre trapped in a life you built to please someone else. and then i kneel down and pull out a 💍#sry i ran out of space for the full word ring. also why when i type 💍 Ohh theyre hiding it. bc now the emoji is 💍 Oh they changed it again#pox on their home..originally it was 🔐 sughested emoji#but then the second time it was 😭.... very anti marriage. well ig maybe the sob could be like OMG... YES!!!!! I WILL MARRY YOU!!!!!!#ngl getting proposed to is such a big fear of mine like. i dont think id ever be able to propose to someone so id have to be proposed to i#suppose but it makes me quite nervous not bc im like ohh nooo dont propose i just rly worry ill react the wrong way and theyll change their#mind. like its a very high emotion moment so ik i would be supposed to be emotional And i would be but idk if id do it in the right way . y#idk. what if my autism looms and i end up just being like 😐 on accident. fuckkk. what if i say somethinf dumb. like i try to be like YES !#but instead im like YEP! god. can you imagine. id have to just bury myself at that point. so embarassing. or like what if i get excited and#flap my hands but it was supposed to be more of a like. joyful crying type of thing... or what if im supposed to just be shocked and like .#Oh my god ....#and am I supposed to run at them and sweep them into a hug or do they do thst to me. UGH. ITS SO STRESSFUL. i suppose ill just remain alone#forever so I never have to confront any difficult situations ever again . Joke .#idk it just makes me nervous. but i suppose hopefully the person proposing to me will love me . that would be nice so hopefully they wont#mind if i dont respond the right way . and they wont be upset with me bc they love me eversomuch. a girl can dream i suppose... my head lik#is pounding sry. i need to sleep probably.. stayed up too late again -_- 8am -_- and im sposed to do laundry today But i dont want to . and#since im gonna fall asleep i fear it shant happen. UGHHH#wtvr. idk what my ideal proposal would be likeee. i don't want to be blindsided ig#i like surprises but Obviously im too worried abt like. my immediate reaction#+ i think its important to talk abt marriage Before proposing just so everybodys like#on the same page and such. Obvs... but ya. i dont think id want a super public proposal like. id like it to be somewhere nice with maybs#significance to our relationship and such. and its fine if theres like Some passersby but id hate for it 2 be like. somewhere crowded. or i#a restaurant or something#Altho if it was in a restaurant maybe we could get free food..#but maybe that can be just fake proposals later on. and our real proposal can be somewhere else. YIPPEEE. me and my imaginary future spouse#who is To be honest rather bare minimum#normal girl will be like Wistful sigh maybe my future spouse will even love me and wont scream at me and will like to listen to me speak 😍#but anywyas. my beddybye time. SURPRISE GN POST#woahhthis got off topic i forgot what the original post was this always happens. i do love characters like that
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WHY IS EVERYUONE LOOKING AT ME .
#ramblings#^ /lhj#beef ys dynamic save me. beef ys dynamic fix me#beef feeling hes broken beyond repair and that everyone actually hates him but proven wrong by how much patience ys shows him#i think if ys's protective instincts kicked in while he was breaking down thatd do something to him. something good but itd#also give him a headache (to actually finally start to grasp that he doesnt hate him)#<- WHEN I SAID I HAD MEANIES IDEAS THAT ENDED IN COMFORT THIS IS IT THIS WAS WHAT I WAS ROTATING#this is also why im about to cry over him because. actually i shant say but the idea of ys having so much of his own shit going on#but still gives beef patience and care. its an idea that means a lot to me#okay now stop looking at me /j
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okso am i close & did inmiss anyone & are any if these wrong ?
ermmm waell theres one more U forgot….. (hint it’s YOU!!!!!!!!!😊😊😊🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️😊😊😊😊😊😊😊)
#pizza man is more due 2 osmosis i dont know him but all my mutuals loved him so i loved him 2#and reigen YES YES UES YES YES . i shant say whats in my heart But yet i would smooch him sooooo much#im tryna think if theres any more .. u know me sao well baby girl …..#WILLIAM AFTON but specifically bunnycat version… if u dunno wha that is search on youtube hehehehe🤭🤭 shes my Bee eff eff bunnycat#OH AND VEX from sackboy a big adventure his designs awesome#i never flly talk about those last 2 though smooching them is more like a hobby#whereas everyone else Well ahem hem … hehe#my asks#my beautiful wife
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i think asepsis could make lyke so much worse
#fwiw i also dont think brnine would handle aterika'kaal well. aterika'kaal just cant be handled that well -#- unless youre willing to actually feed it#hmmm. (thinking of ways to satiate atertika'kaal without having it straight-up kill people)#. god i just want lyke to have a second shot with aterika'kaal it would be so stupid of him but i want him to go for it so so so bad#and it works either way if he does still have amnesia coming back in sangfielle 2 or if he doesnt#(im still not sure on this i have it in memory as being somewhat vague at the end of his epilogue)#i think id like it better if he didnt because everyone would be sooo mad at him. then again if he did everyone would be soo mad at him stil#hed just be like what come on. im not gonna make the same mistakes as that other guy(me who i dont remember)#i shant have expectations that can be disappointed but its so fun to think about it just is#thinking about lyke always has me smiling serenely.i like that guy i enjoy him#i also got offtrack and actually forgot what i had to say about asepsis.sorry#i still think im right though.#rosa talk
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looking back on all my y7 comics is so funny but now im compelled to organize them 'chronologically' and see what that looks like
#snap chats#i also wanna stick em in a book... nay.. i shant...#Point Is LOL#sorry just saw my fave masada| comic of mine and was like#'oh this is before arakawa gets necked isnt it thats hilarious'#but then i realized before THAT wouldve been aoki asking jo to kill arakawa#all things ive done comics of#so now im just sitting here thinking 'how many y7 comics HAVE i done and how many of them can i organize in order'#sounds like it could be funny....#ok my tummy hurt by. i have one more comm to do and then uhhh#idk the demons are whispering to me to play SADX </3#'snap what happened to shadow' i am taking a BREAK i love my son but i also have to play Relatively The Same Route#like 28 times ok. i need to look at something else for a hot minute#ALSO I MISS MY CHAOS I WANNA SAY HI TO THEM#awful so for the past couple days my dads been calling me Every Day#i called him like Twice this past two weeks which is a LOT more than usual#and every time i did i was always crying or whatever so ig he was finally like 'lmao wait.... we should call more often....'#and now we do so im happier now :) i forget why this is relATE DI REMEMMERB#ITS BECAUSE EVERY TIME HE GOES TO HANG UP HE'LL BE LIKE 'laters :) One More Thing--'#LIKE OLD MAN YOU SAID BYE ALREADY but then i realize... of course.. im doing the exact same thing...#ok bye fr this time BYE
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IM FREE FROM SPLATFEST
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@ful-crum
Nightwing #122 variant cover by Babs Tarr
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cmartyn
#i cant say what im thinking esp cuz the cc is on here but know im thinking it. i need to . clenches fist. i shant. i sh#huri.txt
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i wish i could like garak more than i do when im not seeing him on my television screen because i do think he is actually an interesting and compelling character however i hate his fanbase actually no more than anything i hate gar.as.hir fanbase where then all he becomes is ship fodder and is just. the way they talk about him is so annoying and boring and stupid and shippy that i'm truly convinced i just hate garak until i see him on my screen and go fuuuuuuck he's really neat and i'm fascinated by who he is. but his fans especially those who are like mostly his fan only for shipping and refuse to separate him from julian (i also hate the julian fan side of this too and i think it definitely turned me away from loving julian as much as i did initially which is very sad because he was one of my favorites on the show and now i barely think about him ever when or feel little when i see him on screen) are just so. infuriating. anyways the reason i wrote this out was because i was going to say it is with a heavy heart i must say i think matt would be quite compelled by garak (due to his enjoyment of spy stories as has been mentioned before). and then i got sad about going why do i have to lead up to that with a heavy heart. because see im not doing it with the annoying fondness im doing it with a disappointed shame. which isnt fair bc garak is funny as fuck. anyways
#static.soundz#but truly. so fucking truly. i do not like g.ar.ash.ir fans i think that ship could be a bit more compelling if i didnt totally resent#its fanbase. because like when i do actually watch i get it and can see it and understand why people like it. but its fans. are so shit.#and i cant look at either of those characters like on their own as their own fucking characters. or even their relationship to one another#without it going into like. a too fandom shippy brain moment instead of like. a fun analysis that can still be about shipping them but is#like... not that. i hope everyone knows what i mean when i say that. you can do fun and interesting posts and analyses on a ship without#being fandom shippy brain about it. like some of you dont actually even care about their ship you just are annoying i think.#SORRY. IM MEAN ABOUT THIS ONE it's bc as i said. julian used to be my FAVORITE. character on the show. but i could look at almost nothing#in his tag of just him. or him with his other friends on the crew. because it was just so saturated by ship stuff. and it pissed me offffff#it also made me annoying on the very silly stupid basis of My Main Blog Reasons but i shant elaborate further on that#but suffice it to say. ohhhh i hate when my enjoyment of characters is ruined by shit like this i really do.
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