#i seriously cannot get enough of this guy specifically help

[shocolae]

Ttthank you for!!!

All the epic hearts in my previous posts wowza I’m really really surprised that just by not posting for more than a week I’d get this much hearts lols

Dunno how to send a thank you gift but I hope this quick sketch suffices, have a good day/evening!

[titaswrld]

deadpool!

….as your boyfriend.

description: deadpool as your boyfriend!

pairing: deadpool x you!

contains: 18+, mentions of sex!

|an: just saw deadpool & wolverine.. couldn’t help myself.

- awful with emotions but always finds a way to make up for things whether through humor or sex.

- speaking of humor you’re never not laughing with him, or bickering, or fucking

- you’re the only person he can actually feel vulnerable and comfortable with, he cherishes that and he loves you so much for that.

- you’re his person, he would genuinely kill for you if it meant he would lose someone so important in his life.

- if someone makes you sad, mad or uncomfortable ooo…not his babygirl.

- he usually doesn’t keep people or friends in his loop often, they could find him annoying or over the top but not you.

- you love absolutely everything about him, his outlandish humor, his extroverted personality, his big ol’ mouth. you think it’s so hot.

- so hot when he’s mean to you so hot when he’s soft with you

- you literally bicker like two teenage girls all the time and he always somehow clocks your tea it’s ridiculous but you also find it impressive that he always has something to say that you cannot come back from😭

- god you need to pray that no man ever even has the thought of coming on to you… he’ll experience some banter with your boyfriend before it’s lights out.

- not only are you his but he’s yours! he’s super loyal and if he can’t get someone to back off , you sure will!

- you’re always having fun with him date nights are some of the best times of your life, he always finds a way to entertain you no matter what you’re doing.

- always gotta hand somewhere, your ass, a singular cheek, a titty, somewhere. how could you expect him not to! you’re all his.

- you literally have him wrapped around your finger, he’d do absolutely anything for you.

- also always bullying you he is so straightforward😭

“hon that has got to be the ugliest shirt i’ve ever seen on you”

“wade-“

“i know you got better in that closet that i snoop through and try on all your clothes when you aren’t home now go!”

- he’s so tall so if you’re short oh wow…you’re never catching a break

“soooo how’s the weather down there.” wade said, placing his elbow on the crown of your head.

“prick…”

…

“yeah that’s enough of that dirty mouth!” your boyfriend had announced before bending down and wrapping an arm around your behind, throwing you over his shoulder and positioning his palm on your ass.

“god, wade put me down!” you’d laughed playfully hitting his back.

“don’t make me have to spank you!” he said, lighting pinching your ass.

- do not get an animal bc it will quickly become his center of attention and he will defend it over you.

“wade, we’re having my mom over please put it in the room”

“ugh…she’s so mean isn’t she sugar?” he’d said stroking your pet, followed by a “yes she is yes she is!” as the animal licked his face.

sigh.

- good lord we got a cuddle monster on our hands!

- absolutely adores any type of affection and practically begs you for it 24/7. he loves being little spoon specifically. also loves it when u scratch or message his back, bc that also gets him going..

- speaking of, you got this guy rock solid 24/7

“hungry for seconds?” he joked, hugging you from behind and pressing his hardened cock against your ass.

“we literally jus-“ you’d started just to be interrupted mid sentence.

“so! cmon baby throw a dog a bone.” he muttered, hand already gripping your inner thigh.

you’d sighed, god you can’t resist him.

- it doesn’t matter what you’re doing he finds anything you do hot i stg

- a M-U-N-C-H! for life, literally came in his pants from eating you out once! he loves making you feel good.

- a goofball during sex he cannot do shit seriously😭 he be talking you and your pussy thru it!

- again, if you’re petite god help you bc he is large.

- babe, you better match his freak because yall doing anything.

- trying a new thing every night multiple times bc that sex is never vanilla and that dick is never tired! at some point he’s just making positions up😭

[mysterystarz]

just keep falling for

pairing: kuroo tetsurou x g!n reader

genre: fluff, best friends to lovers, mutual pining, boatload of an oblivious but perceptive reader, kuroo really doesn’t know how to get the obvious out and reader cannot really tell him they know what he means

notes: rewatching hq and i literally fell in love w everyone again — dedicated to all kuroo fans, not proofread at all

also i haven’t written in so long so my style is all over the place so pls critique me and also my hand slipped

reblogs and opinions are appreciated <3

kuroo was taking an awfully long time in the locker room.

standing in the gym, you watched as the first years helped with deconstructing the volleyball nets for the day. while you offered your help, they politely declined, suggesting you wait to accompany their captain out to advertise their great work.

normally, kuroo was quick. any jokes that happened inside the locker room were quick to reach your ears, and you knew how much he tried to include you in everything.

you leaned against the wall, watching the clock tick for a whole minute before opting to pace around the gym.

little did you know, kuroo was having a meltdown inside the locker room.

“kuroo!” yaku yelled, brandishing his towel. “you need to get a grip. stop freaking out. you’re supposed to be the composed one!”

“seriously kuroo,” kenma agreed, “why are you acting so surprised. it’s not like this is new news.”

“guys,” kuroo began, raking a finger through his hair, “this messes up everything.”

“is this about y/n?” lev asked, finally entering the locker room. “did kuroo finally do something about that crush?”

“enough!” kuroo sighed, sitting down at one of the benches. in the span of the last ten minutes, kuroo had one of the most dramatic realizations of his life.

he liked you.

you, his best friend and his other half. you, who cheered for him at every game and even lended him cool analogies to use in captains speeches. you, who stole his jacket and ran away from him, leaving him to chase you as far as the two of you could run.

he wasn’t sure what had changed. somehow, you’d entered his head, and with every pump of his heart, you sunk deeper and deeper into his bloodstream.

“did you seriously not know?” yaku asked gently, “because if you ask us, it was obvious from the very start. you hold them in such high regard.”

“i didn’t,” he admitted, turning to meet yaku’s eyes. “i didn’t know and now, i don’t know what to do. we’ve been friends for ages….i don’t even think they see me that way.”

“just tell them kuroo,” kenma said, not looking up from his console. “they like you a lot, they’re not going to say no.”

the team voiced their agreement, and began to file out of the locker room at last.

“sorry to keep you waiting,” he smiled, meeting your gaze as he walked out of the locker room.

“no problem,” you said, returning a grin of your own. “was there something going on in there?”

“nahhhhh,” he laughed, “someone was just having a meltdown about how to do a proper confession.”

“confession?” you rose a brow, and kuroo silently cursed himself for letting such a specific detail slip.

for a moment, you were stunned. as you walked, you considered all the possibilities.

you knew lev had been racking up quite the fanbase through his games, and you also knew how yaku was starting to branch out a bit more. if kenma had a prospective partner, you would’ve already heard of it by now.

unless…unless it was kuroo having the meltdown.

you pondered this detail as you walked out of the school doors, holding them open for your lanky best friend.

“hey dork,” you began, “who are you planning on confessing to? it was your meltdown, right?”

kuroo felt his heart drop in his chest. curse you and your quick connections.

“what makes you think the meltdown was mine?”

“because i would’ve known about everyone else,” you smiled confidently. “you would’ve told me.”

kuroo simply looked at you, distracted by your smile and the way it lit up your eyes. if only he could put it into words.

you had a way of making him nervous.

“i’d tell you details if you stopped smiling at me like that. too bright — it’s hurting my eyes.” he teased.

what he didn’t expect was for you to laugh and immediately drop your smile, transitioning to a serious face.

“tell me now,” you huffed, “i deserve to know who’s on your mind these days.”

he sighed.

if there was one thing worse than your uncanny ability to read his mind, it was the lack of that ability to tell that you were the only person he ever thought about.

kuroo got home, resting his bag on the floor of his room and immediately dialing kenma. he picked up in an instant, and kuroo couldn’t help but be thankful for his setter.

“kenma,” he sighed, “this is like one of your games. impossible.”

“let me guess. y/n didn’t catch a hint?”

“they know it’s me” he groaned, “they know i had the meltdown. they know there’s someone in my head. they keep trying to ask me who it is, but i can’t just say ‘it’s you’ can i?”

“being direct is actually a good idea.” kenma suggested, “go retry that level kuroo. maybe you’ll have some luck this time.”

with that, kenma hung up, leaving kuroo frenzied with an emotion that felt a lot like hope.

sitting and staring out the window, you wondered if now was a good time to acknowledge your growing crush on nekoma’s middle blocker.

he was everything you could ever ask for. thoughtful, sweet, laughably charming, and with a nerdy twist that made him a dork and undeniably your other half.

it didn’t help how handsome he’d become over the years either. he’d gotten taller and taller, his eyes golden and his hair endearingly messy. he was solid from all the days spent practicing, and after every embrace, you were left craving more.

as much as you didn’t want to admit your discomfort, the sensation hovered over you like a fog.

the idea of kuroo having feelings for someone else was bittersweet. you adored him — you really did, and his happiness was yours.

but….you couldn’t help but wish that you could both be happy. that he’d see you the way you’d always seen him.

someone to just keep falling for.

the next morning, kuroo came to grab you from your house for the daily walk to school. he’d made an effort to make sure his tie was on incorrectly in the hopes that you’d fix it for him.

you greeted him at the door, breaking into a grin upon seeing his disheveled state.

“come inside,” you sighed, dragging him by the hand into the foyer. he stood patiently as you reached for his tie, straightening out the edges and meticulously smoothing out the wrinkles of his shirt.

“it’s almost like we’re married.” he teased, happy at the flustered expression that shot onto your features. “what? cat got your tongue?”

“shut up tetsu.”

“i don’t want to.” he said, looking into your eyes. he hoped that there was something conveyed in the silent space between you. the tenseness was all but palpable.

“oh.” you whispered, cupping his cheek. “so this is your confession? a messy tie and a lot of cheek.”

“of course,” he smirked, “you’re the only person i’d do that for.”

©mysterystarz all rights reserved, please do not plagiarize, translate, or modify my fics in any way even if credited

[hotcat37]

Do you have any NSFW headcanons for the JO guys?👀 Like kinks, turnoffs etc

oooh interesting question 👀 I haven't written much JO smut but I do have some headcanons/things I like to see in fics :)

Nace:

-I honestly think he's pretty vanilla, he is open to trying new things but he'd be happy with even just dry humping as long as he's with someone he loves :]

-likes being told how strong he is and being complimented on his muscles and tattoos

-has a little fantasy of being a house husband and having sex while he's doing chores like cleaning or washing dishes

-being degraded in bed is his biggest turn off and completely takes him out of the mood, even if it's done jokingly it'll just make him feel bad (doesn't like degrading his partner either but might feel okay to use demeaning names in a playful setting)

-loves to cuddle his partner after <33

Jure:

-very horny, can and will initiate multiple rounds a day if his partner is up for it

-likes trying new things, especially weird positions, but cannot stay serious for too long during role playing and will get turned off if there's any too high expectations, he just wants to have fun

-has a kink for semi public sex (ex: in a supply closet after a gig, he enjoys the thrill but not enough to do anything riskier than that lol)

-ass guy, will just face plant straight into his partner's butt and be in heaven (good matchup for Kris then?)

-will make his partner food after first having a smoke ^_^

Kris:

-somewhat bratty during sex but he's actually just nervous and tries to hide it with sarcastic quips, hesitant to try new things

-bit of a pillow princess, likes to take things slow and relaxed whether he's on top or bottoming

-enjoys having his hair pulled and his thighs and ass being massaged

-feminization is either a big hit or a big miss, likes being called princess and wearing lacy stuff and feeling pretty but if his partner takes the feminizing too far it quickly becomes uncomfortable for him and he'll start feeling self-conscious

-is completely focused on hygiene afterwards, will make his partner shower with him

Jan:

-will probably put on some sexy low instrumentals during foreplay, speaking of which, he tends to enjoy foreplay more than the actual sex itself lol

-doesn't really have any specific kinks but does really get off on hearing his partner moaning and other sensory triggers, is definitely down to be blindfolded to enhance the experience

-does get fatigued pretty easily, he tries to make the foreplay and sex last as long as possible but will most likely be too sleepy for a round 2

-doesn't like heavy dom/sub dynamics, power imbalance makes him uncomfortable even if it's just for a temporary fantasy, can't help but cringe when daddy kink is involved in any way

-barely has energy to do clean up before dozing off so there might be a little mess to clean up after his nap

Bojan:

-big praise kink, likes to be told he's a good boy/doing a good job (is ok with some light degradation like being called an attention whore or something)

-very good partner if you're into roleplaying, he'll take it (too) seriously, will come up with random lore to enhance the scenario on a whim

-loves to give oral, likes having his neck and ears kissed, enjoys gentle squeezes to his body

-he does have performance anxiety and his partner being quiet during sex or not visibly showing their enjoyment will quickly send him into a panic, needs reassurance and occasional check-ins to feel good during sex

-very cuddly afterwards and likes to be a clingy big spoon 🥄

[banshatheblademaster]

g-ghost swap...? (i don't need to explain to you guys who morro's gonna swap with)

Bansha: - Master of fire. hotheaded, eager to fight, prideful and kinda ruthless, much like her canon counterpart. - does care deeply about her fellow ninja though. feels a bit of a need to appoint herself as the leader and prove she is worth becoming the green ninja. takes missions incredibly seriously, would do anything to succeed - born and raised in a smithery like kai, but starts out with more battle training being the sole overseer of her home by the time shes found and brought to the monastery. likely abandoned by her parents. has the golden blades bc blade master and all. something something 1000° knives - NO idea who nya would be i nthis swap maybe you gyus cna figure something out. - has a soft spot for ghoultar, likes causing mischief with wrayth occasionally and harbours respect (and a bit of jealousy) for soul archer

Ghoultar: - Master of earth. kind-hearted, a bit naive but incredibly loyal. mess with his friends and youre done for. - youngest of the crew. definitely has puppy privileges, but wants to be treated equal to the rest and thus trains harder than he needs to - his family owns a restaurant. his strength came in pretty handy when helping around the place, theyre unsure if his father or mother passed down their powers onto him since he lives mostly with his aunt and uncle. - the sunshine of the monastery. can even make bansha and ghoultar smile once in a while - golden scythe all the way but he is a bit clumsy with it

Wrayth: - Master of lightning. reckless thrill-seeker, kind of an asshole even to his friends. expressing onesself in a healthy and direct manner? dont know her - street kid, probably busted out of the orphanage and got kicked out eventually. wouldnt be surprised if he knew ronin. growing up like this gave him edge and a lot of skills but made it hard for him to trust others. - loves getting into trouble, and specifically getting his fellow ninja into trouble too. its fun for him to pester them, but god forbid they get annoyed, he cant deal with being alone for too long. - golden chains through which he channels lightning. almost as clumsy as ghoultar at first, he only knows how to throw hands. - bandaged face because of a lightning-induced injury on the back of his head

Soul Archer: - Master of Ice. reserved and cold much like his element, only intervenes verbally when he thinks its of upmost importance or when he is asked his opinion on a matter. speaks in a highly proper manner that could even rival their master. - born and raised in a family of high standing, roots able to be traced back to way back before the serpentine war. his mannerisms are a direct result of this environment and only being allowed to speak when necessary - already an archery master when he receives the golden bow. much like zane, he at first prefers to train solo rather than with his team (though its how everyone sans ghoultar handles the first few days aswell) - oldest of the bunch. seems very uninvolved with the others and whats on their mind, but once a connection is formed, he is able to open up a little about his life and his family.

(Bonus) Morro: - a little shit! secretly the green ninja though unbeknownst to anyone. - wu may be swapped with like a creepy gijinka of preeminent, but regardless, morro joins the team much like lloyd did. - him and bansha are pretty much exactly like kai and lloyd but. worse. she cannot stand his guts, as it seems (we know she does care bc hey, abandoned by those who were meant to care? sounds familiar enough) and he plays pranks on her a lot. makes the volcano scene all the more impactful, and they have a sister-brother bond later on - the prank playing means he gets to bond with wrayth first though. neat. until he pulls a prank on him too and its all back to hating the little guy - does this make lloyd the ghost of their masters past? yes! sure why not!

[rc-imagines]

Hellooo, Could I request some Ada Wong content? I Love your writing!!! Perhaps some headcanons on relationship style or being paired with her in a mission?

A/n: I'll do you one better and do both! They're done in seperate sections but they can absolutely go hand in hand (as in you're in a relationship with her and are her partner for missions as well) I have been having immense RE4r brainrot so I watched the cutscenes for Seperate ways recently- Thought they were good, and I could tell Wesker was a bad guy because he had no pores. Fight me.

Relationship:

Ada took "One of us has to wear the pants and it's me" joke seriously

She takes care of you in every sense of the word

I also feel like she's a bit on the softer affection side…As in like she'd like to just lay with you on the couch or in bed and just enjoy being with you. (Either with a movie playing in the background or she's reading)

She would also try to allow PDA, but I really feel like with her line of work, she'd have some paranoia about being watched so she's always careful

She'd ease into PDA over time, because it just happened naturally She can cook- She just looks like the type that can absolutely make a gourmet meal and say, "Ah, no biggie. It was easy." as if it didn't take two hours to make

Speaking of cooking, you're always put on cutting veggies duty. She taught you how to perfectly dice the vegetables purely for that purpose

Loves gives you kisses. Especially on the lips or forehead. Just the most tender, soft kisses

Would get you a promise ring, 1000%

Now, I don't mean this in a sugar mommy way, I mean this in a financially secure (and probably rich) way, but Ada would absolutely not hesitate to buy you whatever you wanted or needed

Her love languages are acts of service and gift giving, change my mind- Plot twist: You can't

Ada would definitely crave a quiet, domestic life, so she'd really cherish every moment with you.

I feel like she really likes baking? She loves the smell of sweets in the oven whether it be a pie or a cake

So you can expect her to always have some sort of treat made for you

Cat and dog mom, you can pick, but she gives me like orange cat and yorkie vibes and I cannot explain why

Overall, a relationship with her would be fairly peaceful whenever peace decides to pay a visit

On a Mission:

100000000% acts like the boss of you nonstop

"Don't get too ahead of yourself." and other slightly playful warnings are a constant

Would try to stick with you as much as possible to ensure that nothing went awry

Isn't the type to really act that she cares outwardly, but it definitely shows (accidentally on purpose)

She's only able to relax once she know the end of the mission is near

Definitely surprises you a bit by using that specific tone of voice (you know the one- "Very smooth.") and asks if you'd like to go out for drinks after everything is said and done

Of course you say yes because who would ever say no to Ada? So you know how she put tracks on Leon and Luis? You're getting the same thing done to you (without you knowing)

You can't help but chuckle once you notice it- You'd even make a light, joking conversation about it

"Next time, don't put a bright, red light on it."

"Fair enough."

Ada would also share resources with you, and only you, no matter how scarce or limited her supply might be

If you get hurt, even the tiniest amount, Ada swears that there will be Hell to pay

[pommunist]

I’m sorry but the fact your trying to say Quackity is a CEO of a corporate company is sooo fucked. QSMP is funded by only one man. QSMP’s team was made by one man. The project was put together by one man. QSMP does even fit the qualifications to a corporate company and it is Quackity’s very first project. Is there problems yes I’m not denying that but Quackity has made it clear he is trying and you seriously cannot be comparing him to fucking Amazon. Like the two arnt remotely similar. I think people hold QSMP to a higher standard because it’s so public but the difference between Amazon and Quackity is that Amazon has been running their company with a huge team of multiple people to make decisions for 30 years Quackity is a man who put together a team but is still largely making the decisions and has been doing it for a year. The man has a lot to learn I admit that but you can’t expect the same amount of perfection you get from a corporate company. Before you demonize Quackity we should let him try to actually learn get better and improve.

hey anon ! I don’t remember having referred to Q as the ceo of a corporate company but if I did and it’s inaccurate I’m sorry ! I’ll admit that I’m not super familiar with business-related english terms and what each of them specifically encapsulates, maybe owner of the company/face of the brand is more accurate ?

I agree that Qstudios isn’t Amazon however I don’t think QSMP is being held to an higher standard because it’s public. In fact I think that everyone, be it a huge corporation, a small business or someone on the Internet launching a project, from the point they start hiring people and having workers under their care, should be held to the standard of treating these workers fairly. And it’s not just my personal opinion, it’s also the legal standard in many countries.

A lot of businesses start with just one or a few people, and when it grows, it’s up to them to make sure everything they’re doing is in accordance with the law and that their workers aren’t being mistreated in the workplace/work environment. Obviously this is a lot of work in itself, especially in a international project because with each new country you hire someone from you basically double the number of norms to abide to, and would be overwhelming for just one person. That’s when it also becomes your responsibility to hire or at least contact lawyers, HR people, to help you navigate through this.

To me, this isn’t expecting perfection, it’s expecting the bare minimum.

Also please don’t assume I’m trying to demonise Quackity, I don’t have any intention to paint him as this big evil guy who woke up every morning thinking "hehe another good day of exploiting young people and make money off of them" as that is not how I view him and I hope my posts so far have not conveyed that idea.

My own take is that he had a great idea for a project but severely underestimated the amount of work and research that would actually have to be done to achieve it, didn’t take the necessary steps to help avoid this whole mess, wasn’t mindful enough of people working for him and on top of that, hired some bad people who enforced their toxic idea of what management should be.

[world0fmadness]

TORN APART

bård “ faust ” eithun x reader

♡ nsfw headcanons for faust!

୨୧ anon didn’t request anything specific so i just made general, assorted nsfw headcanon for him hehe! i don’t know why or how this turned out to be so long, guess i was just horny for some bård lolol <3

♡ requested by anon | view my metal masterlist here

reading music recommendations: torn apart by blood tsunami - der goldene schnitt by vobiscum

* 18 + content, please do not read if you’re a minor *

୨୧♡୨୧♡୨୧♡୨୧♡୨୧♡୨୧♡୨୧♡୨୧♡୨୧♡୨୧♡୨୧♡୨୧♡୨୧

୨୧♡୨୧♡୨୧♡୨୧♡୨୧♡୨୧♡୨୧♡୨୧♡୨୧♡୨୧♡୨୧♡୨୧♡୨୧

♡ as mentioned in supersoaker, bård just cannot get enough of making you squirt!

୨୧ after he discovers your vibrator in the drawer next to your bed and finds out just how easily this piece of plastic makes you desperate and overstimulated? it very quickly becomes his new best friend…

♡ he rarely fucks you without making you cum at least once with the vibrator first and even after that, when his cock is slamming into you at a brutal pace, he still uses the vibrator on your clit, gently running it up and down as your cunt spasms around his cock

୨୧ seriously, he loves when you squirt around his cock, the feeling of your soaking cunt gushing and spasming around his unprotected cock as your arch your back, he moans so loudly as he reaches his high that was brought on by your own orgasm and only continues to hold the plastic against your clit as more liquid gushes out onto the bedsheets

♡ bård just really likes overstimulating you… he really really really likes it… it makes him feel so good to give you pleasure, to make you cry out and call his name

୨୧ this kind of only goes for older bård, specifically how he looked on the cover of horde of the eclipse, but he loves taking you from behind and wrapping his bicep around your throat as he slams into you, tightening his bicep around your wind pipe just slightly as he leans your head back to shove his tongue into your mouth, mumbling into your mouth in between grunts and deep moans

“ ‘m so deep in you, baby… can you feel me? yeah, you can feel me, can’t you? fuck! so fucking tight… ” ( he always buries his head into the crook of your neck when dirty talking or moaning, he is still just that little bit shy when saying such filthy things to you )

♡ listen, that picture of him just seriously does things to me… i adore skinny twig bård but big and beefy bård just makes me feel something crazy in my cunt, i’ll tell you that straight up…

୨୧ and i mean, we know he got like that from boxing and stuff in prison, taking his anger and violence out, whatever! but you are telling me slightly older and beefy bård would not love to manhandle you a bit with that newfound strength? shut up… the tattoo on his bicep too? argh, it kills me, it really does! if you ever kissed it as he had his bicep wrapped around your throat? he would just completely melt, looking down at you with soft eyes before smirking and leaning down to slam his lips against yours, thrusting his cock into you harsher and faster as you whine into his mouth… slightly older and beefy bård is just different and i mourn the insanely short era everyday…

♡ you and bård probably have little quickies in his resting spot at helvete quite a bit, usually it starts off innocent with the two of you cuddling and watching some obscure horror movie on the tv pushed up against the wall but it doesn’t remain innocent for all that long before one of you makes a move

୨୧ usually, you! well, usually you after being a little spurred on by his hand drifting down to your ass and groping at the fat and maybe it was meant in an innocent way but you just cannot help getting a little hot and bothered by it so you take the lead of looking up at him, watching as his eyes remain glued to the tv in front of you guys before you sit up and swing your leg over him, straddling his lap as his eyes widen slightly and his hands go to steady your hips

♡ bård might be a little nervous and shy as you slam your lips down onto his, your hands going to unbutton his leather pants, mumbling against your lips as you laugh slightly, moving away from his mouth to kiss his dusty pink cheek as he breaths heavily

“ baby… here? are you sure? what if… shit… what if someone comes in? or euronymous? ” ( but really all it takes is you whispering softly into his ear that you guys will be fine for him to nod and bring his hands down to help you pull his hard cock out of his leather pants )

୨୧ after sliding your panties to the side and slipping his hard cock into you, bård brings his hand up to grab at your hair before bringing your face down to slam his soft lips against yours, muffling your shared desperate moans as he helps you bounce atop of him, the loud sound of faux screams and cries still coming from the old tv helping to silence your moans from øystein who sits blissfully unaware in the office just next door

♡ it never takes bård long to cum during these quickies, the risk and desperation getting to him as he brings his hands to your hips, slamming you down onto him harder and faster as the wood beneath the thin mattress begins to creak, both of you moaning louder into each others mouthes as you reach your awaited highs, his hands holding you down on his cock as he empties himself into you and your cum coats his cock, pulling away from your mouth to bury his head into your neck and breathing heavy, hot breaths against your own heated skin

୨୧ neither of you make any attempt to move as you brush your fingers through his brown hair and only when both of you have finally caught your breath is when you slowly slide off of him, his tired eyes coming down to watch his now softening cock slide out of your velvety cunt as you ooze his warm cum

♡ have you guys been caught having sex like this before? kind of… i mean, not entirely but also yes… usually by øystein who walks out of his office and sets his eyes on you sitting atop of faust, though you remain completely still as you look over at øystein whose eyes are now slanted as he stares at the two of you suspiciously, asking just what exactly you two are doing because whilst you are both still fully clothed… he can just kind of sense there is something more happening here… bård usually goes to stutter out a sudden panicked response but you spit one out before he can accidentally spill the beans, telling øystein that you guys were just making out, definitely nothing more!

୨୧ does øystein believe it? no, not really! but he kind of just cannot be fucked to fight the two of you, simply sighing heavily before shaking his head and walking back into his office or down to the basement, leaving you and bård to laugh quietly before you grind your hips down onto his cock which is still seethed deep inside of you, covered and hidden by the fabric of your skirt

♡ when it comes to knife play with bård, he is very careful with how he goes about it! he is likely the most nervous person i write for because he is just terrified of actually hurting you and possibly even killing you…

୨୧ so whilst bård absolutely loves the feeling of strength and power that overcomes him whilst holding a knife to your throat whilst fucking into you from behind, he always uses a pretty dull knife and holds his thumb down on the blade to make sure he has no chance of actually slitting your throat! he probably does not like to do knife play too often, he sees it as something special to do once a week or for special occasions, he is definitely not always in the mood for it and he just does not particularly want the novelty to wear off

♡ bård has a major thing for filming you! not even just during sex, he likes filming you as you undress, chuckling softly from behind the camera as you purposely remove your pretty underwear slower than usual and throw him a cheeky wink over your shoulder, bending over to give him and the camera the perfect view of your naked, wet and glistening cunt as you pick your underwear up off the floor, placing them atop your shared wooden dresser before kneeling on the bed and crawling towards him

୨୧ he seriously loves when you put on little shows like this for him, it makes him feel like the only man in the world, the only man you have ever and will ever love… it makes him feel so beyond special and he cannot get enough of it, always zooming the lens in on the sultry look in your hooded eyes as you unbutton his pants for him, smirking down at you as a blush paints his cheeks

♡ bård literally keeps a camera in the drawer beside your shared bed just for filming your strip teased and sex together, he wants it to be as easy access as it can be for whenever he wants to pull it out and capture your gorgeous essence to watch back later

୨୧ one night, you had vegard and tomas over, only really planning to hang out and watch a movie together since you were all pretty close friends with them being your boyfriends band mates and all

♡ and you guys would definitely end up watching a movie together… just not the one that was originally planned

୨୧ it is very likely vegard who finds the special tape, sitting atop a stack of others, all being some gory and grisly title labelled with black marker on the white striped sides, as soon as he sets eyes on one though, the name being hastily scribbled and almost unintelligible, he decides he wants to watch that one! it is most likely just some super obscure horror or nasty snuff he has never seen before, right?

♡ as soon as he pushes the homemade tape into the vcr player, he is quickly sitting himself back down on the plush couch next to you, bård and tomas! looking over at you and bård as you cuddle into each other and cooing over dramatically before yelling loudly as tomas pinches his arm

୨୧ the quiet conversation and laughs you guys were sharing together on the small couch is very quickly broken up by a grainy and fuzzy sound emanating from the tv, causing all of you to look towards the tv in confusion before your eyes widen and your mouths drop open slightly

♡ on the screen was certainly no horror nor snuff, just the sight of you, stark naked and crawling towards the camera which is being held in a slightly shaky and obviously excited hand before a familiar voice rings out from the tv

“ so beautiful, baby… mhm… look up at the camera again, that’s it… fuck, you’re so beautiful ” ( the breathy and shaky words only reveal more about your sex life together, only reveal more about how excited bård gets )

୨୧ all of you are so in shock and surprised that only after the video tape shows you straddling bård and sliding down onto his rock hard cock, only after your shared moans loudly echo through the small room, only after your nude tits bounce softly in front of the camera and only after your boyfriends band mates have gotten much more than they were planning on seeing tonight is when bård breaks out of his shock and quickly jumps from his spot beside you on the couch and roughly rips the tape out, effectively destroying it in the process

♡ the silence in the room is astounding, none of you really knowing what to say as you all look back and forth at each other, bård awkwardly picking at the loose threads of his black sweater before vegard clears his throat and speaks up

“ well… that was nice! worse has happened, right? and i mean, it’s not like i haven’t fucked you before… forgot how great your tits are though, fuck! ” ( vegard forgets for a second that tomas is in the room too but oh well, he will explain to him later if he did not already know anyways )

୨୧ yeah, like i’ve previously mentioned, bård is super into threesomes with you and vegard and being cucked by him!

♡ vegard is just about the only person he will ever share you with on the regular, simply because he’s the only person bård thinks could ever treat you anywhere near as well as he does

୨୧ the two of you are always inviting vegard back to your apartment after a concert, sloppily making out and getting handsy right in front of him, knowing exactly what it will lead to… and vegard can really never say no to you and your hazy puppy dog eyes

♡ they both love spit roasting you or doing double penetration and whilst bård may let himself nail you raw, he does make vegard wear a condom because no matter how much he loves vegard and sees him as damn near a brother, he will absolutely not raise his kid

୨୧ and i mean, the two of them fuck you into the early hours of the morning! it is non stop with them, both of them just have so much pent up energy and other emotions that they get out of their system through sex with you, when doing double penetration? good luck to your cunt and asshole because they are like jackhammers and you absolutely will be noticeably limping for a few days…

♡ when it comes to being cucked, bård cannot exactly explain why he likes it! he probably tried to explain himself a lot when first bringing it up to you but just always fell short of an actual explanation and ended up landing on why it just gets him off for reasons unknown

୨୧ bård will usually sit at the end of the bed or on a chair in the corner of the room as he watches his best friend fuck you on your shared bed, his own cock rock hard in his pants as he rubs himself through the leather but does not take himself out, wanting to save himself for you

♡ bård especially likes watching you take it doggy style, watching with glazed over eyes as vegard gently pushes your head down into the soft blankets and makes you look your boyfriend right in the eyes as you take his best friends cock, making you whimper out how much you love his best friends cock, how much you love their cocks

୨୧ and once vegard has finished with you, leaning over your back to press a gentle kiss to your head before pulling out slowly and walking off to the bathroom to clean himself up, that’s when bård will come over to you and stroke your hair as you pant, looking up at him with a freshly fucked out expression on your heated face before bringing your shaky hands up to unbutton his pants for him, freeing his beyond hard and leaking cock and taking it into your warm mouth as he throws his head back with a deep groan, his hands coming to hold the back of your head and help you take his cock deeper into your throat, only moaning louder when you hum around his long since sensitive cock

♡ it will not be long before vegard is re-emerging from your bathroom, now fully clothed and leaning against the doorframe as he watches you suck bård off with a sly smirk on his face, waiting for bård to finish in your mouth, watching as he holds your head down on his cock as you swallow, before he speaks up

“ well… thank you for having me once again, ‘s always a pleasure, you know that, hm? anyways, faust, remember we have practice tomorrow, don’t miss it, yeah? ” ( vegard will come over to plant a gentle kiss on your head before he leaves, fist bumping bård on the way out too, throwing you a smirk as you laugh quietly at the exchange )

୨୧ bård is dirty and kinky but he loves watching you get spoiled, watching you be loved up on so much by someone you both think so highly of and bård himself loves spoiling you, it’s one of the reasons he overstimulates you so much! he just wants you to have the most pleasure possible…

♡ after all, you took his virginity and remain to be the only person he’s ever done anything sexual with and he always wants to repay you for that, repay you for giving him a chance after he spend so long fawning over you, wanting you… and now he finally has you <3

[wardencommanderrodimiss]

Hold on, in the Brennan is a companion canon. Does Ena have to a) help him do Dorian's romance quest b) then help Dorian do something for him? Dorian just like "my toxic codependent bestie I know you helped my boyfriend get me my amulet back, what do I get him?" "A new last name." "Let's start smaller."

Ena: If I hadn't already gotten him a horse for Inquisition business, I'd say a horse. But there's only so much room in the stables, and I suspect he'd worry about whether he had enough time to take care of both of them.

Dorian: The first problem could be solved if you would relinquish the stall of the dead one.

Ena: The Bog Unicorn is - Dorian, it is the first possessed animal and possessed corpse I've ever met that has not immediately tried to kill me! I'm not just going to throw it out in the snow!

Dorian: It could hardly die any more than it already has. What are you, a Mortalitassi?

Ena: Dorian, you're a necromancer! Don't act like - (pause, sighs deeply) Right. Brennan. So if not a horse - it's not like horses are particularly - a book about them wouldn't tell him much he doesn't already know--

Dorian: I fear you are forgetting the reason why I asked you for your assistance. This is a gift for my - my - romantic partner, and you cannot seriously be suggesting that - oh, hello, Solas, do you need something?

Solas: Pay me no mind. I merely have a delivery for Ena. (he hands her a book)

Ena: What - where did you find this?! I searched the library top to bottom, twice, for any draconology texts that would have even half the detail of this--

Solas: Lady Montilyet has a number of contacts across various universities. I asked her if any of them would be capable of getting you a copy of this volume.

Dorian: I take back what I was saying to you, Ena. You would find an encyclopedia to be a suitably romantic gift, because you both are intolerable.

Ena: (opening the book) Look at the detail on these diagrams, Dorian! I - you're wrong, but we need to focus. Hey, Solas, if you were going to get Brennan a gift, what would it be?

Solas: (at length, clearly considering and discarding numerous options) ...a horse?

Dorian: Can't, Ena won't make room by getting rid of her dead one.

Solas: Ah, the Bog Unicorn.

-

Then after this conversation appeared fully-formed in my head, I was mulling it over some more, I remembered, once again, the Thedas Superman random encounter from Origins. Specifically, that you collect meteor metal and can forge a sword from it at Soldier's Peak. Brennan likes stars, likes astronomy. It doesn't have to be a meteor metal sword, you could give him a rock and he'd probably think it's cool because it's a space rock from a fallen star. Give the guy who's always looking up at the stars something from one of them to hold in his hands.

Which means eventually when someone remembers such a thing exists, the quest is for Ena and Dorian to try to get their hands on a meteor to make something out of it without bankrupting the Inquisition.

[kattythingz]

Attack attack attack 🕯️🥤🥐🥝🐝

Literally every one of these questions was a targeted attack, what the FUCK Jinx. But fine.

🕯️ - on a scale from 1 to 10, how much do you enjoy editing? Why is that?

Unless I'm in a bad mood and/or the premise doesn't interest me, it's actually most often a 9. Sometimes even a 10. It took me a long time to realize this (hello fiction workshop), but it turns out my passion for editing is its own beast. Something about helping others' writing. Pointing out their mistakes not to laugh at them, but to further their writing because I want to see that!!! I want my friends to see their best writing and I want to help them get there! It's the greatest honor! And, when I really get into it, it's honestly just a fun process!

(Usually. We don't talk about the fucking blood that went into editing ch4 of Crown.)

🥤 - recommend an author or fanfic you love.

MAY I INTRODUCE THE FINE PEOPLE TO @asthmaticbee's BRILLIANT HP X FMA AU "of elder, stone and cloth (of death, rebirth and closure)". THE SURPRISE RAREPAIR IS AMAZING AND I AM SO UPSET I DON'T HAVE OTHER CONTENT FOR THEM AND THE CHARACTER WRITING IS PHENOMENAL. THIS AUTHOR GETS ED ON SUCH A DEEP LEVEL. It quite literally had me high for the three or so days I spent bingeing the fic. I CANNOT recommend it enough.

🥐 - name one internet reference that will always make you laugh.

SONIC FANDUBS LMAO. My little brother and I recite them at each other all the time (I suspect it's a verbal stim at this point?), and I can't. It's so fucking funny each time.

🥝 - do you lie a lot? What's the most recent lie you told?

Jinx, seriously. What have I done to insult you lately? /j

I do actually lie a lot lmao. That's kinda a necessity in a controlling household like mine, so it uh. Kinda happens like breathing. Which is mayhaps not a good thing, but. You know. Gotta do what you gotta do. I can't remember my most recent lie, aha. (Another shining endorsement for me, ik.)

🐝 - tag your biggest supporter(s) and say one nice thing about them.

I am honestly so blessed to say—it's so many people? I can't even tag them all off the top of my head. The recent support I received on ch5 of Crown was so fucking huge, I'll forever be unwell over how nice all my readers are?? I'm so grateful to everyone.

Off the top of my head, however, I MUST specifically tag @ilovepannacotta @sirchenchen @hijinks-n-lowjinks @crystalizedirongoblin and @thewitchqueen281

Panna, you brilliant fucking bitch, you've been struggling with your art lately but you are genuinely my favorite edling artist out there. You never fail to blow my expectations out of the water, and I hope you'll agree with me on that one day. Chen, your mind is so brilliant, and your aus are so thoughtful and deep and you ask questions I never considered before that then get ME thinking. Jinx, your understanding of Greed as a character, and Al too, have quite literally saved my ass several times. Citrine, I... can't think of sth specific cuz we don't actually talk often, but your support for my yj x fma crossover motivated me so much more than you think, esp since I was in a dry spell with Crown at the time. And Avi, you've literally been my ground support since ch1 of Crown. Your early asks gave me so much hope that this revamp might actually stand a chance, and then you further devastated me by writing me a goddamn 8k fic.

I'm grateful to all my readers, but you guys esp... you did sth deep to me. And I don't think I'll be normal again cuz of it. I love y'all <3

[yourgamemasterthewhiterabbit]

I do think Hugh Jackman had the right idea though. If I was assigned to play a role and that character, as an adult, allowed themselves to be that closely aligned with the concept of an animal, I would research that animal too, and incorporate a quirk or too [or a 100 blink and miss it subtle ones]. Listen, I have not known an adult who would allow for something like that -consistent animal nickname/call-sign] who isn't a furry or at least autistic about that animal, no matter how stealth, and who wouldn't at least know all about the little guys themselves. Like yes, Hugh has been mocked for not realizing Wolverines were real animals, but he was just so fucking close to getting the assignment better than most people.

[Let's address the clear signs of undiagnosed autism in Logan in another post, but really consider his mood and temperament issues under the lens of someone autistic, overwhelmed, burned out, and taught by toxic masculinity that anger is the only emotion allowed him, who cannot catch a break and is constantly dealing with sensory overload and then accused of "abandoning" people any time he tries to withdraw or take time away, and then has been convinced that any violent meltdown he has in the face of real or perceived threats, including fighting for his life, is a sign he's a bad person and makes him like an animal or worse... Tell me autistic adults do you not relate? Seriously watch the old series that 97 was continuing off of and tell me I do not have a point... But I digress...]

If I was writing/drawing the character [because I would never be cast to act him] I'd be pulling all sorts of cute shit... Like wisdom teeth.

You know how sometimes human wisdom teeth come in turned in or out 90 degrees? I have one like that. Did you know wolverines have back molars that are turned 90 degrees inwards because it helps them strip frozen meat off of bone? Logan was born and grew up way before modern dentistry and has that healing factor so it's plausible or even likely he'd have all his wisdom teeth, that they'd have cut in, and that they'd be turned 90 degrees inward. In my continuity, if you ever saw the character's dental scans -and you actually see bone scans of his often enough- you would notice his wisdom teeth turned in 90 degrees like a wolverine's. Almost no one would get the reference and it would materially impact nothing, but I'd put it in there just to be cute.

Just any innocuous and un-obvious thing a person has ever been known to do that would remind you of wolverines if you knew about them. Nothing super campy or overt, because someone put up on that kind of masculinity pedestal doesn't get away with overt campy shit, no matter how committed to the bit. But like, tossing any and all uneaten food in the freezer for later, because wolverines bury meat in snow to save it for later, and 100 little quirks like that. 100 little things that would have had someone initially look at him and go "you know what you remind me of?" and land on wolverines specifically and have it not seem forced. Maybe enough that everyone around him if they knew animals at all would all reach the same conclusion so maintaining the call-sign makes sense across memory loss and without him doing anything to enforce it himself.

it's not that they don't do this, it's that they stick to the overblown simple overview, like slightly exaggerated rumours of aggression, willingness to stand up to bigger threats, and the loner tendencies and leave out anything that isn't "badass" seeming enough.

Hugh's makeup artist also had it right, those little teddy ears and the round face shape of his facial hair are perfectly on the nose.

Incidentally, I think a suit with inverted colours and brown in place of blue and some more modern lines that pulled heavy inspiration from an actual wolverine's coat markings would actually be a great way to come up with something that's dark, modern, plausibly stealthy, but doesn't sacrifice the comic book camp for something grimdark. If you aren't going full yellow comic book, let me design the next battle suit. Like he is based on an animal that is rich black and browns with honey coloured stripes and you are not taking advantage of that creatively? If I can get a good cord for my phone I'll sketch something and upload it.

[kimbleefucker]

I've been amuzed with Kimblee's character since first seeing the series, but I rarely see people discuss his life philosophy seriously, even though it was quite important to the plot. I wanted to ask you, as someone who cares about him, to perhaps help me understand him better

Why is he so obsessed with killing people of Ishvar? Not even during the war, since I get it more or less, but afterward, during canon events, he talks about them as if they were his prey. It feels overly cruel, and I can't grasp what exactly motivates him to be so fixated. I feel like I am missing something. Sorry for bothering you, I hope I didn't make you uncomfortable in any way. Your blog is nice 👍

Hi! It's no worries, it's not uncomfortable.

I think part of the key to understanding that motivation is that Kimblee is a perfectionist and a workaholic. In the manga specifically he says even more blatantly that he sees it as a job and he believes all jobs must be done to perfection. He cannot accept failure and he cannot accept anything less than perfect.

In the manga, when we see Kimblee's squad, they compliment how efficient he is and how powerful of an alchemist he is, and he brushes it off and says it's not good enough for him.

Kimblee's obsession with it is significantly in part from his obsession with perfection and rejection of failure.

Kimblee believes in committing yourself 100% to any and everything you do, and never cutting corners or accepting a result that simply isn't good enough. So for him, the idea of letting any go is only getting the job, which he takes seriously, half done.

Make no mistake, a part of that is also because Kimblee is indeed racist, specifically against Ishvallans. He completely views their humanity as expendable for the sake of his ego. He also routinely refers to Ishvallans as "mongrels" and "savages", because he's that kind of white guy.

[purpurussy]

Saw you asking about ywgttn - it's probably above your pay grade yeah I thought it was a bit MH 101, it's probably helpful for someone who deals with anxiety or depression but not anything else. But I do think the tone of it is pretty good, personally I cannot fucking stand those trite saccharine "you deserve to be gentle with yourself!" type books, and ywgttn is very much in dans usual voice. like typical Dan "turns out making a joke out of your poor mental health is actually a terrible coping mechanism, don't do what I did!" Sort of voice. I do actually think he did a pretty good job with the tone, not making it too heavy or deep while also taking everything seriously. But yeah if you're experienced in dealing with poor mental health it's probably not something you'd find useful.

Because it's so clearly his voice I do remember thinking I wanted more of his personal anecdotes from it, but it makes more sense that it's not about him, tbh. Plus that would be quite personal. Theres some stuff about his life in there but not much that we as fans of his YouTube channel wouldn't have already learned.

I'm really glad people are sharing their thoughts on ywgttn! I was looking up reviews a while ago when I was trying to decide whether to buy the new paperback version, and I found a reddit thread where people had a very different opinion which put me off a bit, but it also seems from what I can tell that dnp reddit became a bit toxic a couple of years ago (someone in the comments on the post I found said that it had become a "dan hating zone" during the hiatus), so I think that might be why.

The reddit phannies had a big issue with the tone (calling it "condescending" mainly), and claimed that he was giving dangerous/unhealthy advice, although yeah I think this was due to a specific kind of mysterious brain rot which seemed to take over phan reddit a few years ago. I just found the thread again and someone claimed that he was telling his "13-17-year old audience" (which firstly is like. are the 13 year olds in the room with us now) to rely on sex/masturbation as an unhealthy coping mechanism. But I saw the page about sex/masturbation posted earlier today, and what he said was "doing something relaxing, for example having an orgasm and putting your phone away, can help you sleep better" which is like fair enough, I think a lot of people would agree. But this person seemed to think he said "hey kids, did you know that the ONLY way to achieve good mental health is by JORKIN THAT THANG 24/7" so yeah I decided I'm gonna take the reddit opinions with a big old grain of salt lmfaooo. Your assessment of the tone seems a lot more appealing.

Your last paragraph did get me wondering if there was a bit of a marketing dilemma with ywgttn. I assume they had a market segment in mind of people who are already fans and are familiar with Dan and his humor and vibes, and I wonder if it was tricky to strike a balance between appealing to phannies who want more comedy and juicy personal anecdotes from him, while at the same time also appealing to a wider audience who might not know anything about him (or care about his life/get his comedy like we do) and are genuinely reading it as a self-help book. There's a risk of appealing to nobody if you're trying to make something that appeals to everyone, but it seems like he pulled it off!

Sorry I yapped a bit here lmao. Thanks for sharing your thoughts, I think I'll give it a go based on what you guys have said! (if nothing else I'm curious now, also someone said in the tags earlier today that it helps to parasocially listen to Dan specifically telling you to take care of your mental health, even if you've heard it before, and I think that might be the case for me too dshlsgkhlg)

[vonkarma2]

why I don't like pokemon rocketshipping

james pokemon is gay whereas jessie pokemon is bisexual to this day i think shipping them sucks. it's like this ↓

this post was meant to be the above minus the title and nothing else but then I went insane. so now i will articulate my feelings, which i have had in mind since i got really into team rocket for a few months in 2020 because of lockdown induced susceptibility.

i can also see straight or lesbian for jessie and james can be bisexual so long as you acknowledge they are both theater people. which ordinarily i dislike as a hc because i dislike theater people usually but in this case it is objective fact. this brief clip here will help demonstrate my vision

for example in sun and moon anime they crashed a group of children's school play because jessie was jealous of not being in the spot light. which brings me to my next point that due to being a cartoon for young children this material is obviously very silly, to the point where mapping any of it onto anything based in reality or taking it remotely seriously is very ridiculous. which is why i am moving into just make an oc territory at this point. but I think the huge part of the charm is that these characters are preexisting, and came into the world naturally, because some childrens cartoon execs thought it would be funny for one of the recurring villains to be kind of gay. the crossdressing, the moltres outfit.. we lost so much when they turned the homophobia down over time 😔. that's a joke.

(and don't get me wrong, it is kind of homophobic, given these are the villains and the characters you're supposed to laugh at and think are ridiculous, including because of the gay shit. i don't want to not take it seriously at all like even vague homophobia (and transphobia of course) in a kids' cartoon is insane. but they aren't evil per se and are more silly and sympathetic than anything, and iirc correctly they don't draw attention to the cross dressing? it just kinda happens rather than like ash and misty are like ewww a guy in a dress or whatever. but I could be wrong about this. there's also a discussion to be had about japanese vs american attitudes to this kind of thing especially in the 90s but we are getting off track enough as it is. did you know meowth was originally voiced by a trans woman isn't that cool :))

anyone can make a flamboyant guy and girl pair of ocs, and many have, but there isn't the same sense of unexpectedness or sincerity that makes the pleasantly surprisingly plausible gay jokes as fun to make. there is external, light hearted validation for this kind of hc in pop culture because of pokeani, and these specific characters' popularity.

similarly, i also think the ridiculousness of the source material makes adding even a little more grounding in reality very charming. highlighted in yellow is some evidence for this point. (the orange is highlighted because it's relevant to my next point and the blue is highlighted because it's hilarious).

in my opinion, the yellow text here is pretty funny, notably with regards to how it considers age as a legitimate factor. as a cartoon character in a long running show, james emphatically cannot age, and yet this writing proposes that he does, and attributes changing writing decisions to this process. the author paints a somewhat stereotypical image of someone exhausted by a dead end job. that person being a saturday morning cartoon villain. it's cute. i think this kind of portrayal whether in fan art, fan fics, or just posts like this, that treats an exaggerated fictional world with not serious emotional gravitas but mere realism, is very charming. especially when you consider he's also being portrayed as a gay man specifically, and yet still meant to be sympathized with by a presumably heterosexual audience. i know it's stereotypical, but i think the inclusion of those details makes the ties to reality more endearing through being more culturally specific and sympathetic to an outgroup.

like the writers of pokeani, the author of this 2006-looking neocities page was likely not gay themself, which makes it interesting they were such a fervent james is gay truther, dedicated enough to the point where they probably see it as a positive more interesting than ignoring the subtext. definitely not saying they went about it in the best way (this excerpt is pretty harmless , but some other parts of their page haven't aged as well, and it's clear they aren't actively trying to be progressive), but it's an interesting perspective thinking about internet culture at that time. predating broader movements of both progressivism and homophobia, and the formation of internet-based subcultures we know today. that was mostly a tangent but i included the link to my source yayyy <3

so now we have seen that adding reality, including specific cultural details that one can relate to or appreciate in some way, is fun, and i think it can be pretty charming as well. and in this case i think we have the potential to compare the characters to dynamics underrepresented in popular media. ok stay with me on this part. remember how the orange said jessie is a huge bitch.

here i am disrespecting this completely serious and kind of beautiful substack essay by comparing it to pokemon characters. but we can clearly see this exact kind of relationship depicted between the jessie and james in their lifelong, codependent friendship. (we can also compare these figures' status as outsiders to jessie and james being career criminals in universe and perenially misfortunate saturday morning cartoon villains on a meta level).

i am not saying this because i take team rocket seriously as characters in the fandom angst sense, or the sense that the show has good writing. i mean it in the sense that it's fun when there is something in pop culture that you have the ability to claim as part of your/a subculture, even if that wasn't the intention. an unintentional reflection of reality in something that was meant to be purely mainstream, and is clearly a joke, but you can joke about it as someone who is genuinely familiar with that kind of relationship in reality, or at least more respectful of it than before. unlike the essay, but much like the chris fleming clip above.

i really want to draw attention to the gender roles here as well. as stated in the essay, this is what the gay guy/hag (sorry. i feel kinda bad saying it myself on here lol) relationship can be predicated on.

many people have pointed out that in couples' disguises, james dresses as a girl and jessie dresses as a man, with james tending to cross dress significantly more often. this, as well as jessie's bullying personality vs james' relatively much more laid back nature. but I think it's interesting how it's taken for granted and not drawn attention to; or rather, not an incidental situation, but rather part of the fundamental nature of their characters. low key kind of feminist. I think it's also important to note that jessie and james are close friends, so he is clearly drawn to her in some way, but james hates her kind of personality in the context of romantic relationships, evidenced both here in this joking scenario, and in the episode where he has to escape an arranged marriage to a girl who looks and acts exactly like jessie, except she is in love with him. we can see the jessebelle episode as emblematic of the rejection of the heterosexual life paths and the pursuit of an existence outside the mainstream [i get shot in the head by a sniper]

i included this picture of mac and dennis move to the suburbs because i think the sitcom structures make them similar. they can't leave because of the concept of the show. metanarratively doomed to be together. an eternal relationship between people who make each other miserable but can never bear to leave, and can also both be compared to and is fundamentally incompatible with a stable, married, heterosexual relationship. one who is aggressive and one who is usually powerless. and is this all portrayed in the show? absolutely not LOL. but we are talking about fan culture here overall, which for better and worse (much worse) is oftentimes about seeing the potential in a source material and iterating on it in some way. it's there for those with eyes to see. i think the codependent friends + gay/hag relationship both has more canon evidence, is truer to the heart and soul of the source material (as seen through its endless cyclical structure), and is more unique and interesting.

This quote is here because jessie is definitely NOT "fully-actualized" as this describes. as stated earlier she is frequently insecure and childish, especially with regards to femininity. (perhaps we can trace this back to her backstory of an unstable childhood with her mom dying and her almost straight up starving to death as a result.) she wants to find love and be percieved as beautiful, but due to her mean and evil personality she can't, and is stuck being an outsider with this cat and this gay man. there is an obvious insecurity at the heart of these characters, and within the show's narrative they are cursed to remain as they are. if we as fans are trying to take this a step further and create some kind of tension or arc, we can say it's because of their mutual failure to self actualize (especially factoring in the gender/lgbt stuff) that they are drawn together.

i don't think people shipping these two is like, remotely a serious societal issue. it's literally fine. i don't care that much these are differing interpretations of a mediocre anime meant to sell toys cards and video games. but i dislike it personally because i feel like in both practice and inherently, it means ignoring a lot of what makes the relationship itself unique, fun to interpret, and grounded in some nonserious form of reality. people are always like wow.. 2 gnc bisexuals that commit crimes together and also kiss.. but i think that's at best a way of resolving or explaining an underlying tension that's better left existent and at worst based on purely surface level observations. big city greens didn't even let them have meowth they are nothing without meowth

overall thesis if you're a fan reinrerpreting kids show characters for fun do it in style

disclaimers:

i'm not a cis gay man or transfem and so i dont have that perspective

joke portrayals of super flamboyant feminine and cross dressing gay men can contribute a lot to transmisogyny as well as homophobia, and the two are often conflated, especially in older media

i can see why someone would dislike this kind of character and view the portrayal as more mean spirited than i did, like even though the character of james himself is meant to be likeable you can see this aspect itself as demeaning

you know that thing where it's like the tme nb or trans masc is like omg theyre so gender but it's just transmisogyny. I obviously don't want to repeat that myself. there is some gray area of course and generally I think this specific example has room for interpretation, but I'm not the expert on this topic over all

I also haven't seen the whole show. there's like 600 episodes plus movies and it's not even good

there are like 40 separate essays you could write about that in general (gay coded villains in childrens' media and overlap of homophobia/transmisogyny therein in both the media itself and audiences' reactions). and i'm not doing that. but just know i'm aware it's a nuanced topic at least

[webbedphantom]

Shout-out to @caramialunaestelle for putting up with my stupidity for five years!

I'm a weirdo who likes to write down the anniversaries for ships that I have in my calendar so I can do like a small celebration, but this day specifically I have memorized because not only was the way Aaron got with her Makoto super cute, not only was this my first ship ever, but it's kind of the reason I still even do RP to this day.

See, back then I was still new to writing in general, and even newer to social media as a whole, so I wanted to get some practice on the former so that I could make my fanfic as good as it could be.

But Twitter is a lot harsher to bizarre concepts like Aaron, so I was struggling to get any replies with any of the people I reached out to. Worse yet, I didn't really know anyone in this space, so it was all I could do to just... make random posts and hope someone saw it. Which after a while got really demotivating, and I was honestly thinking about quitting.

But Kate gave my weird little guy a chance, and while we wrote together for like a month prior, we didn't really start talking until after we got shipped. How long after? That I don't remember as well-

I know this is mushy and sentimental, but I seriously can't thank them enough for this. There's so many friends I'd never have met, so many games and anime and just... THINGS that I'd never have experienced without them, a lot of it being things and people I can't imagine my life without.

And that's not even considering how much support they themselves have provided over the years, from proofreading, to helping me out with ideas for my AUs, to explaining very simple concepts like YouTube tutorials multiple times because my dumb autistic ass cannot comprehend it otherwise, to giving me feedback on my art, to being a patient, understanding and supportive friend who's always there when I need them and... Honestly, I could go on for hours and I probably still couldn't cover it all

Thank you for everything, Kate! You're the best!!

[I was going to re-edit this 👆 to say "Thank you" instead of Happy Birthday, and maybe add more of your current muses, but I'm currently mobile bound and I wanted to post this before I forgot, so I'll fix it later]

For anyone else seeing this, if you've read all of this and still aren't following them, you should do that. Right now. This is a threat

[sunsetsoft]

🕊️ ooc. gonna keep it super fuckin real w/ folks, i'm a man on a ledge, (mental and physical health rant under the cut)

while my sleep has been getting marginally better, its still getting to three months of sleep debt, but i know that hasn't been helping me get through anything else. on top of that, i've been being pushed down the road for mental health appointments to get any help, and the place i live in doesn't even have a department for autism and adhd for adults, so when i do get to my appointment (on the 3rd, finally), it will still only be for some of the problems, not the whole situation, which is better than nothing, i'll take it, but historically, that still doesn't help the bigger picture. its also an initial assessment, and any treatment they do decide to go with, if any, will still take time because the nhs has been systemically worn down and destroyed since 2010.

on top of that, my GP is not taking my chronic pain seriously, i'm getting no help on that, barely getting pain management let alone any earnest investigation to whats wrong and how to help.

i live out in the sticks, so i need to travel for everything. Everything. public transport is terrible, the local taxi company is one (1) guy for the whole area, i cannot drive, not for lack of trying, but i'm a disabled man who's parents never thought it would be important to help me invest in that.

everything is expensive, and right now i have half a loaf of bread, a large box of tea and 3 days worth of heating (including hot water) to make last until payday, which is the end of next week.

all of this is not great for the mental and social sphere, where it feels like everything is falling apart. i feel like i'm losing everything. the specific things i have w my autism means i always feel like i'm doing everything wrong, and everything happening right now is starting to feel like a conflict, an argument, that any boundary i have is unreasonable to ask for, everything that hurts me is unreasonable for me to be upset about. i am seconds away from throwing away everything i've spent building my life to be, which. i have a historical pattern doing, the last time i did that was 2018, and until last month i had been feeling like i'd been doing a good job with, but right now i just want to run away, disconnect from Everything and disappear, because i'm going to lose it all anyway.

i cannot look after myself to the ability i need to, i am pushing away the people who help with that, or losing them in some other way for other, complicated reasons, and the friends i do feel comfortable talking to support me, but the minute we aren't on call anymore, every support and reassurance doesn't stick and i'm back to square one. i feel so incredibly alone despite not being alone, i know i'm not alone !!!!!!! and i'm scared.

i do wanna say i'm so self aware. i'm so self aware, i know exactly what is going on, but ultimately self awareness doesn't help because i can't get any help on a larger, institutional level, and also the sun sets at 4pm. and to top it all off, i'm going to be alone for the holidays, which really really fucking sucks (christmas is bad enough for me as it is)