#i see this headcanon all the time and have done for years and it grinds on me

[noxexistant]

hi your local real life disabled person is here to critique wider crutchie writing and headcanons again, re: “crutchie hits people with his crutch”

crutches are not strong, especially not modern metal ones. they’re hollow tubes of thin metal with significant weak points all down them where one tube of metal slides into another, and where they bend to accommodate the forearm.

trying to use them as a weapon — applying any force along them rather than down against the tops and handles, ie using them like a bat to hit someone or something — will risk snapping them or bending the thin metal. they’re unwieldy too, they’re heavy and awkward, and pretty much no hit with them is going to cause any genuine damage, especially not broken bones. more likely: the hit will be ineffective, and whoever you’re up against will then have easy access to grab the end of your crutch and wrench it off of you, and then you’re fucked if you, y’know, need it to walk. this also applies if you break it.

crutches are also expensive. they’re about $30 at the absolute cheapest for ones that hurt the most and can cause the most damage, and can go up to $100+ for the more comfortable models intended for daily lifetime use. even the old fashioned wooden crutch that crutchie uses in canon would be very much breakable — it’s a stick of wood — and would be pretty much priceless to him without any resources to get another.

crutchie would almost definitely not use his crutch as a genuine weapon. practically no disabled character would (see also: canes, unless specifically designed for that and reinforced). your mobility aids are an extension of yourself, and you’re not going to put them in any sort of danger when you need them, and that holds even more weight when you know you can’t afford to replace them.

[bg-brainrot]

Sorry to bring the horny but what are your spicy headcanons for Astarion? (Ascended and spawn version)

No need to apologize anon-- this is a safe space for horny 🫰🏽

And ooo I haven't done any spicy headcanons before! I've only done the rogue!Tav ones before, but let me take a crack at it since I definitely have thoughts 🧐

Let's see... Spicy Astarion Headcanons w/GN!Tav (18+ Explicit warning ⚠️ all are set post-personal quest ⚠️ TW: Astarion's trauma)

Spawn Astarion

While he's not wholly comfortable engaging in intimacy for a while, he does enjoy exploring, testing out new ways to touch each other, figuring out what he likes/dislikes. There are stumbles along the way, and his healing journey is naturally not linear, but when he finds a few things he does like, the two of you are all too eager to capitalize on them.

One of those things is how much he enjoys looking into your face as you come. Whether you're in his lap, standing in front of him, laying before him-- he's finds it so much easier to stay connected and in the moment when he's looking directly into your eyes, watching you come undone to his touch.

Always a playful man, he also relishes taking his time with foreplay. Long, lingering touches, deep, kneading massages, soft, brushing lips... it's almost painful how slowly he enjoys taking his time to work you up, enjoys the same in return. But, gods, is it just as lovely.

Once he realizes how much you enjoy the sound of his voice, whispered right into your ear-- he can't stop murmuring loving little things to you. At first, you worry it's an act. After all, so were his initial sweet, honeyed words. But when he's losing all control, moaning a stuttering 'I love you' into your ear as his movements falter, you know that none of this is an act.

Despite maintaining a lot of his composure with you initially-- again, an act-- once he feels safe, comfortable in your arms, his carefully crafted composure falls to something real and a lot more sloppy. His dexterity and control seems to plummet in the heat of the moment, his fingers stumble in his eagerness. More than a few times, the two of you are left laughing, breathless as he finishes quickly or your latest exploration fails.

While he's happy to pleasure you, it takes some experimentation before he's comfortable with you reciprocating. In part because it's what he was used to, seducing targets for Cazador, but also because he's just not sure what he likes. The first time he enjoys your pleasuring him, you do it over his clothing, slowly, grinding the full length of him as he directs your hand with his.

More than anything, he needs to feel you, warm and alive, pressed against him after the fact. Sweaty, hair askew, blood usually trickling from a bite wound, he loves you most post-climax. And whether or not you'll have another go is immaterial, because, in the moment, all he wants is to drown himself in your mortality.

He never says it, but many of his favorite things are things he was never able to do in the 200 years of cruelty under Cazador. Looking into your eyes, telling you he loves you genuinely, taking his time, messing up-- all of them are new for him, ways of reclaiming his body and his sexuality.

Since beginning to re-explore his boundaries, his favorite situation together is you seated in his lap, your foreheads pressed together, your hands clutching his shoulders for support while he rolls into you, his own hands gripping your ass. When he's close, he whispers onto your lips, "Gods, you feel so good. Love, I-I can never last with you like this, can I?" When he comes, his lips meet yours, his hands wrap around your back-- as if trying to meld you to him.

Ascended Astarion

After ascending, he is eager to try out all of the new things his power affords him-- this includes his new body heat. With your own new undead form, he feels all the more alive. The first time he realizes what a thrill it is to have your cold body pressed against his heat, he can't get enough. He spends an entire day directing you to touch him, shivering in the wake of your chill touches.

And now that he can taste, he also wants to taste you-- everywhere. Not just your blood, but your sweat, your tears as you come for him. He will lap at you like a man possessed, all the while telling you how good you taste, how he would tear the hells apart for a mere drop of your release. His mouth, already such a potent drug, is relentless in its exploration of your flavors.

When it comes to the other attributes of mortal men he's received, why, his sex drive is through the roof. Every time he sees you make someone grovel before you, witnesses you exert your power, he can feel himself growing hard at the sight. More than anything, he wants to take you right then and there -- but he stills his hand, waiting until the day you're both seated on his throne.

While he doesn't go so far (yet), he makes no move to hide how he feels about you, often demanding your attention afterward with no more than a look, a finger curl, and a lick of his lips. It's a silent claim as well, showing anyone brave enough to watch whose consort you are.

As his consort, he will do everything in his power to ensure that you're taken care of. This means that, even if you think you're satisfied, Astarion will continue to tend to you, bringing you to climax after climax. It's only when you're left an utter, blubbering mess that he knows he's done enough.

He loves feeling that control over your pleasure. Above all else, he loves knowing that you, a powerful adventurer, crumble before him like anyone else. That thought drives him-- it means he fucks you often, he fucks you hard, and hells does he fuck you at a pace the gods would balk at.

As far as his own satisfaction goes, he's quite vocal about it now. He tells you exactly what he wants and when he wants it. When you stray the course, try something new, his hand is at your head, your neck, your waist-- keeping you right where he wants you.

He's also quite liberal in his praise of you, always ready to tell his beautiful consort what a pretty little mess they are for him, how lovely they feel when they clench around him, how their body could bring the very world to ruin with its perfection.

Since ascending, his new favorite situation is you on your knees, cold mouth around his cock, eyes watering, hands desperately trying to pleasure yourself, all while he looks down at you with half-lidded eyes, holding your head in place, whispering down silky sweet words of encouragement, "That's it, my treasure. Yes, gods, you take me so well. More. More. Yes, just like that. Give me everything." After he spends himself into your mouth, he will always be quick to bend down for a kiss, eager to taste himself on your lips.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

I see you are open to Ms Spade/Lilia prompts. I am seeing a lot of speculation that Ms Spade might have been a delinquent in her youth like her son Deuce. It would be funny if Ms Spade and Lilia got to talking and the topic turned to the crazy things they've done in their pasts. Who has the crazier story: delinquent Ms Spade or former General Vanrouge?

Referencing this unofficial blog event!

adklbaboiyfyegea It might be hard for me to write stories in headcanon form, so instead I ended up doing general headcanons for delinquent!Dylla and Lilia sharing their experiences with each other!

Curiouser and Curiouser...

Dylla is very shy with sharing about her delinquent days. She holds a lot of shame and guilt about that era of her life, especially since she blamed herself for being a poor influence and a bad mother to Deuce when he went down the wrong path. It's only when Lilia talks about his own past as a veteran that Dylla gains the confidence to let him in on her secret.

She's still not that proud to talk about her delinquency, but Lilia lends her the encouragement and the kind ear she needs to truly open up. When things get to be too much and the feelings overwhelm her, Lilia stays with her and holds her until Dylla has stopped sobbing. "There, there," he murmurs soothingly, a hand rubbing her back. "Let it all out. A good cry will set you straight."

With time and practice, Dylla becomes accustomed to sharing her stories. It's hard to believe that she was ever insecure about them to begin with, not when Lilia grants her so much strength.

She's surprised that Lilia fought in a war before--and not only that, was served as a general--because he's so tiny. (Huh, that's odd. Dylla doesn't remember there being a war or major conflicts in recent years. She wonders which war Lilia is talking about, but he doesn't elaborate.) But Lilia reassures her that it's the cutest ones you have to look out for.

He demonstrates a few of his moves from back in the day, each of which Lilia has lovingly granted an overly embellished (almost magical girl-esque) attack name. Moving with lighting fast swiftness, he very adorably chants, "Ora, ora, ora 🎵 Watch out, I'll kill you dead 💞 Take this! Lilia-chan's Super Special Axe-Grinding Roundhouse Kick~!"

He casually talks about all the people he killed--"My, I was quite the reckless roughneck in my youth. If only I could go back now and properly mourn their losses."--while squirting ketchup all over the omurice she made for him. Dylla awkwardly laughs, but only because she thinks he's making a dark joke. (Lilia was, in fact, not making a dark joke.)

One day, Lilia brings his magearm with him to show Dylla. He even encourages her to try swinging it around! ... Which she does, and nearly chops off some of his bangs in the process--but he took it in stride and came out of it unscathed.

Dylla was a self-described speed demon. She loved riding fast on her bike--a hobby Deuce also picked up--but seldom rides anymore. After all, she has to keep her driving safe and smooth, especially when she's on the job! "Oh? I would love to go out on a romantic ride with you someday," Lilia tells her. "Let's do it--and no holds barred, okay? I want to see how fast you can truly take me."

Her fashion used to be a lot more daring. Leather jackets, combat boots, bold animal prints. Now all that remains of that era is the roots and strands of her bleached her. "You should consider experimenting more!" Lilia suggests, fingering his own hair. "I used to have this much longer, up in a ponytail--and I regularly dye my streaks different colors."

Compared to him, Dylla thinks her stories are much tamer. Sure, she committed minor crimes (shop lifting, skipping school, drinking while underage, being a public disturbance, etc.), but the worst she ever did was get into fights with peers. "I think I was just lost," she admits to Lilia. "Lost and mad at the world for not guiding me." He takes her hands and looks at her tenderly, whispering, "... And I as well."

Lilia mentions that he used to have a crush on the person he was sworn to protect. "That story," he admits with a sad smile, "is one that ends in tragedy." Dylla's heart aches--not with jealousy, but for him and the pain he feels. She takes his hands--like he has done for her--and lets him know she's there for him too.

At the end of the day, both Lilia and Dylla understand that they're changed people, and they're so proud of each other for that. They have new lives, new children, new identities--and each other. They aren't lost or mad or alone anymore.

[toobusyshrimping]

😺🛏️💌⛓️ for Tommy, Neil, and Robert

Link to asks sorry this took so long! Wanted to give it my best and work has been crazy

Tommy:

😺 how they eat the pussy:

Eats it like he'd love to drown in you. Makes out with it a little. If Tommy is in the mood, he'll eat you out until he's all but falling asleep with his mouth on you. Likes to have his shoulders under your thighs with his hands gripping your hips. He eats you out when he wants softness, wants to forget everything; loses himself in the taste of you, your gentle hands in his hair, the hitching of your breath.

🛏️ soft sex headcanon

Tommy doesn't know how to ask for kindness. It grates like sandpaper on a wound. You have to be the one to initiate it. Lamps/lights low and fire banked. Undress him in the dim light, fingers skimming his bared skin. Hush him if he tries to talk. Lay him down and wrap yourself around him, gently cup the back of his head when and ignore the dampness of his cheeks when his face presses into your neck. You're his anchor.

💌 sending/receiving nudes headcanon

I'm using modern Tommy for this answer, the rest are for him period.

Sending: doesn't. He'd text you that hes thinking about something you've done together or something he wants to do. "I want you as soon as you're home." "Are you thinking about last night? Can you still feel me, Love?"

Receiving: He checks his phone when he has time alone, no one needs to peek at who he's speaking to/what about. You're his girl. Responds in the same way he texts you. If you're naked in the photos he expects you to be nude when he gets home.

⛓️ kinky headcanon: we know the obvious one (choking). Likes to be slapped by his wife every now and then, have her grip his chin and force him to look at her. Accidentally finds out he has an oral fixation. You'd fucked his mouth with your fingers once just to see what happened and he came without being touched.

Neil:

😺 how they eat the pussy

Neil wants you to sit on his face and be directed verbally or with your hand in his hair. He wants to be surrounded by you. He wants you bossy.

🛏️ soft sex headcanon

Neil's a true lover boy. Sleepy lights-peeking-through-the-blinds morning sex. Most of the time you're the one initiating, grinding back on his morning wood until he's awake enough to slip inside. If he's the big spoon he's got a hand shoved up your shirt cupping a tit. If you're jetpacking kissing the back of his neck and sliding a hand into his pj pants is a sweet treat for him.

💌 sending/receiving nudes headcanon

(Few years post-canon because that boy deserves better quality nudes)

Sending: Since he's been established as someone who wouldn't take advantage of someone (the bare minimum) he wouldn't send unsolicited nudes. I think he'd want to send dick pics comparing his size to random things because you'd find it funny. I say this as someone who's seen a dick pic where it's compared to an x-box controller.

Receiving: Neil has to go into the bathroom or his office to immediately jerk off. Jeans barely pulled down and biting the palm of the hand not fisting his cock to keep quiet.

⛓️ kinky headcanon:

Loves to roleplay losing his virginity. Wants you to "teach him" what feels good, where to kiss, what to say, how to make you cum. Neil could roleplay his "first" with you forever and it'd never get old.

Robert:

😺 how they eat the pussy:

Kneeling for you. His favorite is when you sit on the couch with pillows behind you (he's sweet and doesn't want your back to hurt) and scoot towards the edge. He'll put/keep his hands wherever you want them. Everything he does is to please you.

🛏️ soft sex headcanon:

Robbie's favorite position is his partner straddling his lap with both of you sitting up. His back against the couch/headboard with you pressed up against his chest. Lots of eye contact, noses brushing, hands cupping his jaw/in his hair/arms around his neck. No position beats getting to see the minute shifts of your expression, sharing breath, feeling you smile as you press closer like you want to crawl into his body.

💌 sending/receiving nudes headcanon:

Robbie would only send them if he was explicitly asked. I headcanon that he's embarrassed even jerking off due to going to boarding school and living in a house full of maids/his nanny/the revolving door of his father's business associates. If he had established with his partner it's something they like he'd ask if he could send one in case they're in public. He keeps his face out of them and has to be encouraged to expose more than him barechested in boxers.

Robbie would be embarrassed about how much he likes receiving a nude from his partner. Home alone? Still pink cheeked and looking around as if someone was there to see him enjoying them. Thanks his partner and semi shamefully jerks off to them; like I mentioned above I think he has complicated feelings about enjoying things sexually.

⛓️ kinky headcanon:

I have something I'm in the process of writing (and it's a goal to write it and post it this year!) a professional Dom/service submissive Robbie story.

Dynamic wise - I think Robbie craves giving up control; he wants to be taken care of and devote his life to taking care of his partner. He hates being in charge, he hates the idea of running the company and he would love to be a homemaker.

Kink wise - Tie between impact play and praise. Robbie loves a firm hand (literally and figuratively) and has daily maintenance spankings. He prefers the intimacy of being laid over a lap and spanked bare handed. However, he also likes thuddy floggers or an occasional paddling. Robbie loves to be praised but wants to earn it. Being called a good/sweet boy has him warm all over. Being praised for making a good meal for his partner or told he took his spanking so well makes his day.

[wyrm-with-a-what-the-fuck]

your post about magnus gave me an idea and I apologize in advance. So magnus in tfp was alone on his ship for God knows how long without seeing another bot. And the ones he did meet or see fucking died. So I'm imagining that after all of the years being alone with no one else the second he's introduced to team prime he just like. Gets kinda clingy. He won't at all show it but if he follow around optimus more often or hangs around ratchet despite him doing nothing interesting who is going to judge him?

So he is able to get his fill of platonic attention and affection but then comes the main problem. He's really fucking horny. And of course because he's ultra magnus he can't just deal with it. Because according to one thing or another a commander can't do bla bla bla. He just essentially makes up reasons why he can't take care of himself. Like "Oh I can't be horny I'm in war" or "I can't be aroused I'm a commander" so he just gets more and more pent up until he essentially reaches a breaking point and finally gives in.

He hides away in his ship while trying to deal with these impure thoughts. Trying desperately to try and not think of what it'd be like if one of his teammates were to frag him senseless. Nope that's not allowed. As his restrain crumbles more he finally gives in and just promises to do a quick little session to get out all of the horniness in his system.

Now, this is just a personal headcanon of mine, but I like to think that with bots with larger chest plates or larger hands they have more trouble trying to self serve themselves. And magnus, being very inexperienced, large, and in general a nervous wreck as of now, can't use his hands to try and get himself off. He's humiliated but far to aroused so he finally results to using an item of sorts to assist him in his problem. The item of choice? The forge of course! I mean it's right there.

At this point the poor bots far too aroused to be embarrassed in using something a goddam prime had as a personal toy. But the second he rubs his anterior node against the handle (I think that's what it's called?? Listen I'm tired) he just melts. It feels good and he feels warm and it takes his mind off of everything so before long he is grinding against this handle as if his life depends on it. He is the second in command of the autobots and one of the Primes closest friends so he absolutely does not moan and whimper. Any other stories are lies and slanders.

Eventually he gets close to his peak and crumbles more. He can't help but plead to no one to touch him and love him and just stay by his side. He so desperately wants someone by his side whispering sweet nothings into his audials and telling him he's pretty.

Finally he's sent over the edge and cries out at the feeling of pleasure washing over him. He can't remember the last time he's done this so you bet he's awful sensitive. After he's able to think coherent thoughts again he realizes that he's on the floor on his ship on all fours rutting against a sacred artifact and immediately cleans up and feel absolutely horrified about what he did. Sure it felt astounding and he definitely needed it but he can't help but feel ashamed of himself. As he calls it a night he swears he won't do anything like it again. Spoiler alert he does. Many times.

And to end this off here's another headcanon of mine: some bots will rev their engine or honk when they overload. They bot will often be horribly embarrassed because that was not supposed to happen but the partner just falls deeper into love because they were the ones to get their partner into that state. What does this have to do with anything? I'm saying magnus definitely honks when he overloads and he's so ashamed of it that it's part of the reason he barely tends to his needs. Not sure if you've ever heard the honk of a semi truck but it's fucking loud. Magnus thinks that if he were to get a partner that they'd find it absolutely ridiculous and humiliate him so he tries to keep it to himself.

God OP I am so sorry for just word vomiting everywhere. I'm also so sorry if this is at all weird but I got inspired and I ran with it. It most definitely shows but I'm very shy when it comes to the sex so I'm sorry if this is awkward. Just in general I'm very sorry and I'm going to shup up now ok bye hope you have a nice day please don't behead me

I fucking love word vomit I love this idea and I always love the idea of cybertronians honking or whatever during interface because they have engines and bells and sirens and shit they need to be nosey when they overload. I love tfp magnus being inexperienced enough to be so shy and I love the headcanon that his kibble and first time aura gets in the way of self servicing without any tools

Ugh he’s fucking that hammer loudly in his little ship I love that he’s starved for release of anything oughhhhh I love itttt

And yes I’ve heard an accursed semi truck honking. Loudass bitches.

Anyways love ur idea sm omg this was so nice to see in my dusty ass askbox yayayayay

[eleventhhourfactor]

First day of 2025 has been good so far. So good, in fact, that I've decided to actually make a self-reflection/look to the future post, as much as I'm trying not to be vain.

Anyway...2024. There was a lot happening there.

If we're looking at Tumblr alone, it's pretty clear that this was the year that solidified Mario and Luigi as a hyperfixation for me. Helped along by the mutuals I made along the way, I turned out a lot of stories for AO3--moreso than I'd ever done for any other fandom prior to this. It's...mindblowing, honestly. Just the year before, I'd written and deleted my works after becoming convinced that it wouldn't amount to anything and ought as well not be out there. It was a pattern I longed to break, and I think I've finally cracked it, and I've never been happier to put myself out there and be cringe and free.

The rest of 2024 was a hell of a lot of change for me--mostly good. I moved across the country, started writing for another company, found another special interest in the form of Mario RPGs. I also realized that a load of my extended family have garbage takes, and that I alone can't fix that for them. My cat needed teeth taken out, my car got hit by a delivery truck in the parking lot, and I got holed up at my in-laws' house with the flu on Christmas Day. I'm still trying to make real-life friends, which seems to be an outstanding issue for little ol' me. Outside of college, I've never been great at making and keeping friends.

But I do have my network, without which I wouldn't have been able to publish a story, plan a big move, or even doodle on occasion. And you, dear mutuals and others, are a part of that, I've come to realize. It's stupid and corny, but there's something really neat about going to the internet and nerding out about things through headcanon posts, fabulous art, and wonderfully-written tales. What's even crazier is what fanwork can drive me to do in my original little things.

So, for 2025, along with some outstanding fics I need to wrap up and work on, I also want to put some work and effort into fleshing out a long-running project of mine: the world of Astrara, the worldhoppers moving throughout, and the threads of the universe tying it all together. There's characters I've been bouncing around in my skull for nearly a decade now, and it's about time I clear the sad lack of confidence from my space and actually draw them to the life they deserve. Might I make a comic? Who knows. For the next year, I just want to draw my little dudes until I run out of pencils, and then scan it in and color digitally. I want to make more art, and I want to write out the story of Lenora, Aylín, and their absolutely batshit journey to find their way home. Or at least, get the bullet points down and go from there.

It's crazy, but I thought turning out over a dozen fanfics was insane as well, and look where I'm at. Anything can happen. The spark has caught aflame. I want to keep creating. For the first time ever, I want to keep going with whatever the heck I've got going instead of letting it sit while I grind to live.

So, follow me as I get this going. See how far I go or fall short. Maybe ask me some more about what exactly I'm working on. I'd love to brainstorm and share and get others interested, too.

A bit of insurance in the form of doodles. Lenora on the left, Aylín on the right. One's being careful, the other wants to fight.

Kinda funny how much I project onto my own little stories.

Thank you all for sticking with me. Sorry this turned from reflection to a bit of narcissist goal-setting, but I've never felt so set on a creative goal before. This project means a lot to me and my growth over time, and without stepping out and meeting you all, I'd never be able to do this. So, thank you for being there, and I hope I've been able to do half as much for you.

Under the cut special! Sending love to all the people who keep me going on here. Like, y'all are so great. You are all great people.

So, mutuals and creators I admire (as well as my frens), this one's for you:

@giddlygoat @peaches2217 @snakeeyesdraws @bberetd @itsavee4117 @silenzahra @silksongmaiden @fyreburning @akiiame-blog @megamagimugi @supergay-64 @artizonka @rainbogen @loud-kid2 @@diamondempp @dooxliss @lu1g199 @laatgag @moriouchou-radio @thegravityshark @gustygardns @vulpixfairy1985 @vbnhuet

[lily-alphonse]

Alex/Shane rarepair sporty boys bromance🙏

OH IVE GOTTA MAKE THIS ONE ANGSTY. Implied past child abuse as well. If it was to become a full fic it would have a happy ending though.

I like that they are on opposite ends of fulfilling their dreams. Shane is kind of the ghost of Alex's future ain't he?

Oooo wait okay lets take the headcanon from the SamAlex fic and have Alex returning from college after being forced to drop out due to poor grades.

Alex has been away for two years, becoming an entirely different person. He was a star athlete with a hot (albeit on and off again) boyfriend. He felt more like himself than ever before... and then it all came crashing down.

When he comes back to town, its like stepping into old shoes that don't fit anymore. He doesn't feel safe to be himself and shuts down. He puts on an act of the person he used to be. Cocky. Macho. He pretends nothing affects him and he has it all figured out.

Shane looks even rougher than when he last saw him. Worse than reminding him of where his future might be headed, he reminds him of his dad. Drinking all the time. So angry. Who would put him in charge of a kid? He's kind of worried for Jas. He’s glad she has Marnie at least. Marnie’s always been nice.

It’s night. Shane is leaving the saloon, Alex is outside sitting with Dusty. He watches Shane with contempt in his eyes, and Shane won’t stand for it anymore. He feels him watching, spins around and snaps at him.

“You got a fucking problem or something?”

Alex stands up slowly, a silent reminder of the pure mass Shane is up against. Maybe a fight could be good for him. Let off some steam. But he gives Shane a chance to back down.

“Walk away, Shane.”

He, unsurprisingly, does the opposite. He comes closer. “No. I haven’t done anything to you, so what's your fucking issue?"

The alcohol on his breath causes a long-buried fear to spike in Alex and it has him clenching his fists at his sides. He wills himself not to tremble. Not now. Not now. He feels cornered, readying to swing at him when Shane's next words catch him off guard.

"Why are you here, Alex?" Shane sounds older. More tired. His bleary eyes don't miss the look in Alex's. There's something he recognizes there.

But now Alex is terrified for a different reason. He's so tired of keeping this wall up that he's actually tempted to be honest with him. His defenses are crumbling around him as part of him thinks that Shane would understand better than anyone...

His mind balks at the thought, since that would mean they were in any way similar. So he turns it around on him, throwing a mirror up between them as his last defense.

“What are YOU doing here Shane? What happened to you, you’re a fucking mess.”

Shane rolls his eyes, waving him off as he backs away again. “Yeah, yeah, piss on the town drunk. It’s all been said and done, asshole.”

“No,” Alex says firmly, following him, corralling him back against Dusty's fence, “you started this.” He won't let him back out of this now. For some reason he can't let this conversation die. It's real and it's painful and he craves it.

Shane folds his arms and scoffs. “Technically you started it by glaring at me all the time.”

Alex grinds his teeth. "It'll get even worse for you if you even think about harming Jas."

Shane's eyes widen with fire, arms slowly moving to his sides again. "What the fuck did you just say?"

Alex steps closer, looking down on Shane now. "You heard me."

"I would NEVER hurt her you fucking--"

Shane moves to push him but Alex pushes him back harder, but the show of protectiveness for Jas seems to flip a switch in him because he doesn't want to hurt Shane.

He kisses him.

Eeeehehehe I hope this one gets enough reblogs to be included in the poll bc it'd be interesting

Send me any Stardew Valley rarepair and I will tell you how I would make them work! (Even non-marriage npcs) If youre lucky you may get a mini fic out of it. Check the list below to see if Ive already answered yours

Rarepair Masterlist

[togrowoldinv]

Firefighter!Nat NSFW Alphabet

I was asked to do this and I absolutely loved writing it. Warnings: Definitely 18+ talks. I hope you enjoy this and catch up on firefighter!Nat here!

All of the goods about beefy!Firefighter!Nat below the cut!

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Nat definitely enjoys snuggling after sex. She takes the quiet moments after sex seriously. Even if the sex is intense, she at least kisses you on the forehead and pulls you into her arms. A lot of times she likes to shower afterwards and she loves when you wash her body for her.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Natasha’s favorite part of her body is definitely her abdomen area. Especially because of her tattoos on her rib cage that dips into her stomach just right. She’s confident in her entire body though.

Her favorite part of you is definitely your boobs. She’s a simple girl at heart. You always tend to focus on her body being perfect, but Natasha thinks that there’s nothing better than worshipping you from head to toe.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Natasha very much loves to make you come and make you come hard. She’s confident in her sex skills. She particularly loves to taste your cum on her tongue when you ride her face or see your cum dripping onto her thighs or abs as you grind against her. Nat is also a fan of when she wears a strap and you come onto it.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Natasha’s dirty secret is that she often wonders if you’d be into a threesome with one of her coworkers. It’s not that you’re not enough for her (you definitely are), but she’s always wondered if you’d want anyone to join you. Probably Carol or Valkyrie as she knows you’d love their beefy bodies like you love hers.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Natasha is 100% experienced. In her early training years, Natasha would spend a lot of weekends on dates. She’s hot and she knows it. But the best thing about her is that she is extremely quick on her feet. As a firefighter, she makes split second decisions and she uses that training with you. She adapts quickly and can you off by fixating on what she finds you love.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Natasha LOVES when you ask her to ride your face. The feeling of your hands on her ass as she moves her hips makes her feel so good. She also loves when you ride her thigh. She can suck on your nipples and watch your face as you come for her.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous?)

Natasha is usually pretty serious during sex. She makes the occasional joke, usually in the form of a tease, but stays relatively serious about getting the job done. She is likely to make a comment before sex about how much you simp for her.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Natasha is well groomed. She’s, as you expect her to be, very put together as a person and that relays into her hair. Her red hair does in fact match the rest of her body.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Nat is very intimate during sex. Even if she’s being possessive or a but more aggressive, Nat always makes sure you’re okay. She knows your limits well and she’d never push you beyond them.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Nat used to masturbate more than she does now that she’s with you. On occasion though, she’ll do it. She thinks of you and looks at photos you’ve sent her. If you’re awake, she’ll call you and get off with you. You love when she calls.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Natasha leans into you calling her daddy, but she doesn’t ever call you mommy. She just likes the way it makes her feel when she’s in control and you can’t help but call her the term. Since you got married, Natasha does love it when you call her your wife though. She also has a slight kink for having semi-public sex, which gets you in trouble from time to time.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

As mentioned above, Nat likes semi-public sex. You often have sex at the firehouse. That’s where you had your first time, so it makes Natasha happy. Outside of that, Natasha enjoys having sex in the shower with you.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Natasha gets extremely turned on when you touch her. Even innocently. She gets going a lot when you take off her shirt and run your hands over her tattoos. Nat also gets turned on when you tell her you love her. It’s cheesy, she knows, but it fills with a desire to make you feel so good.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Natasha would never use any weapons or physically hurt you in any manner. She took a vow to always protect and rescue people, so it makes her feel odd to hurt someone even for their pleasure.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Natasha is obsessed with the way you eat her out. Whether she’s straddling your face in the bed, you’re on your knees in the shower, or in the front seat of the car, Natasha loves it. She also loves to eat you out and she’s damn good at it.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Nat switches up her pace as she sees fit for the situation. But her favorite is to keep things fast but sensual. She wants you to have multiple orgasms, but she also wants to spend time just kissing you and feeling your body on hers.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Oh, Nat is such a fan of quickies. She knows she can get you off in no time. Natasha will take you off to another room or interrupt you cooking dinner to have a quick fuck. Rarely, she even wants you to get her off in return. She just wants the pleasure of making you feel good.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Natasha only experiments on certain occasions. Most of the time she likes to remain in control, but when she’s really exhausted she lets you take control. That’s when she finds out some different things she likes. She mostly keeps her risk-taking on the heroic day job she has though.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Natasha is used to working long shifts. Her stamina basically has no end. Usually you’re the one to say you need a break or are sensitive to touch.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Well, Natasha definitely owns a strap that she wears under her gray sweats. You wear one on occasion but it’s usually Nat that does. She owns a vibrator but only uses it on the rare occasions you’re not around and she can’t just call you up to help her get off.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Natasha’s form of teasing is when she gets caught up in kissing you. She loves to kiss your thighs before she dives in. Nat also gets caught up in sucking your nipples. She is also very unfair when she walks around your home with only gray sweatpants (with a strap you can see) and a sports bra but doesn’t let you touch her.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Once Nat got comfortable with you, she got very loud. You pulled her out of her comfort zone and she is really happy you did. Natasha moans a lot and she sings your praises as you make her feel good.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Natasha is soft hearted. She sees such horrible things on her shifts that sometimes she comes home and cries to you. You’re the only one who knows that side of her. Natasha has the urge to save the world and she never stops trying to do it.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Do I even have to say it? Toned toned toned. Natasha is muscular, she’s smooth, and she rocks her tattoos. Her breasts are perfect and her ass is a dream.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Nat wants to and could have sex almost every day, but she doesn’t need to. Sometimes you’ll go weeks without it due to your busy schedules, but Nat never complains. She’s ramped and ready to go when you are.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Natasha always makes sure you fall asleep before she does. It’s an old habit from growing up in a home where she was always looking out for her sister. Once she can tell you’re happily asleep, she falls into her own slumber.

[fallstreakfeathers]

Urogi Headcanons (The Really Fun Kind)

Minors DNI! This is an 18+ post. Y'all asked for it and enabled me so here. Take it. Take it all. Not proofread.

General:

Not a virgin. Obviously.

Dom/switch. Kind of a dominant brat, if that makes sense. He’s incredibly versatile in sex.

Doesn’t have a preference for positions for HIMSELF but prefers to be able to see his partners face.

Doesn’t care what speed- he likes anything.

Grows hornier at certain times of the year and will build a large ‘nest’ out of things he finds. He WILL convince you to fuck in the nest.

Will get so bloody horny during ‘rut’ that Sekido actually kicks him out of the hideout You can also find him a drooling, whimpering, whiny mess as he humps and grinds against whatever he can to get off during this time. Maybe it's your pillow. Maybe it’s your leg. Poor guy is uncontrollably horny when in rut. This is, thankfully, a situation exclusive to Urogi due to both his feral instincts and also partly due to his lack of impulse control. The other clones don’t go through a rut.

Cock is a grower, not show-er. 4.5" soft, which lets it stay hidden in the long, thick fur covering his legs and below his navel. 6'1" hard. Has a subtle upward curve, large head.

Very vocal… ! However, he whimpers and begs the closer he gets to cumming.

If you stroke between his wings, he will cum immediately. It’s a tossup whether this annoys him, though

He’s used to women in particular being afraid of him because of his appearance or treating him like a monster, so he genuinely appreciates compliments about his inhuman bits and will get excited rather quickly if you do so

Kiss his knuckles to make the sweet prince melt into a pile of goo

Usually takes the lead (but LOVES when his partner does it instead, especially women)

Likes hand jobs a lot since he has a hard time masturbating with his own because of his talons

Prefers if his partner starts slow with their hands and then speeds up once he’s close to cumming

Would fuck in the air if he was capable of it but unfortunately it’s not possible even for him :(

HAS masturbated in the sky before, using the his palms and also the wind to get off

Please make sure you guys take a bath after you’re done so his fur doesnt get matted

He does enjoy pet-names, for himself AND his partner

Kink ListUrogi has a lot more Yes than No’s, because he finds joy and arousal in far more things than what turns him off lmao Also includes specific scenarios I think he enjoys or dislikes.

YES:

Praise (giving and receiving, loves being called a good/pretty boy)

Blood

Breeding kink. Like, HUGE breeding kink. He will beg you to let him knock you up as he’s balls deep in you (even if he can’t). Tell him you want his offspring and he goes feral, holding you down and whimpering until he cums as deep inside as he possibly can with the most angelic sound you’ve ever heard

Biting (neck especially. Also enjoys biting neck/shoulder of his partner as he rails them from behind)

mild pet play (receiving)

Nest sex. Fuck him in the nests he makes ;v;

receiving degradation (PLEASE call him your needy slut/whore/pet, bring down his ego as much as you build it)

Exhibitionism. Will fuck anywhere, any time, no matter who or what is watching. Would fuck you in front of Muzan.

wings (as stated, stroking where they connect between his shoulders will make him cum immediately)

primal/predator/prey play

pegging (receiving)

Begging (receiving and giving)

please tug his hair- knot your hands in it

likes when his horns are used to control him

edging/orgasm denial

physical fights/battle as foreplay

corruption kink

doggy style

cuddly sex

Has an oral fixation so he loves going down on his partner. Good luck getting him to stop.

Scent AND taste kink

Cockwarming

Loves when his cum is plugged in his partner so it can’t escape

Marking. Loves leaving marks on his partner- especially by carving his name on your skin. By the end of the night, there will be no doubt who you belong to.

Get yourself off on his thighs

69

Adores seeing his partner swallowing his cum, especially if they used their hands to make sure he cant pull away and cums in their mouth

Also loves seeing the outline of his cock pulsing in their throat as they swallow around him

Reunion sex

Overstimulation. Hips will go wild if you use a vibrator on him after the first round. 

Marathon sex

Will spit in your mouth. Swallow it.

Will use loose feathers to drag up your sensitive bits.

MAYBE:

has a light virgin kink

Dacryphilia 

forced orgasm (usually fine, sometimes might make him a bit annoyed- then he'll just get rough)

has a secret fantasy about Muzan finding him being pegged by a human

Weapons. They don’t really do anything for him, considering he’s a demon and even a nichirin blade isn't a real threat to his body. Might use them on his partner but would rather just use his talons if you want to be hurt so badly

Toys. Will use if asked but would rather just use what he already has. He isn’t too argumentative about trying them on himself, however, especially if you’re pegging him.

Co-masturbating (likes it but prefers his hands on his partner)

Doctor roleplay/examination

Body worship, giving and receiving- Loves it but gets impatient/twitchy easily But please tell him how pretty he is. Tell him how soft the pads of his fingers are, how sweet the scales on his arm feel. Tell him how good he smells, how comforting his feathers are, how-

Cumming on command

Humiliation/extreme physical domination, giving- particularly if you are RPing as a Slayer or ARE a slayer Will hiss in your ear about your betrayal and how dishonored you are, how corrupt, how pathetic. How weak. Will ask you how your slayer companions feel about you fucking/being fucked by the enemy. Will ask what would happen if your hashira friends walked in on you being bred like a slut by Upper Moon 4, what would happen if he sent you back to base with his cum leaking from every hole, if you smelled so strongly of him that the very crows called in alarm

Muzzles- he hates being muzzled because it prevents him from using his mouth, but it DOES get him off

NO: 

Cuckolding. Urogi is a very possessive lover. The idea of another person fucking his partner pisses him off (the exception is with the other clones. Because they are all the same person, so he doesn’t think it counts as having more than one partner, but he still won’t release his dominance to them. Even to Sekido.)

Age-play (creeps him out)

Restraints (on him), except for muzzles. He can’t handle being restrained even in nonsexual encounters. It’s one of the few things that causes him to panic.

Blindfolds- he wants to see his partner :(

Scat/Piss. He’s not a fan of extremely unsanitary kinks and the smell turns him off.

''CNC''. The closest he gets is predator/prey. Despite his faults and other kinks, and how rough he can be, he can’t get hard if he feels like he’s genuinely forcing his partner or scaring them, even if you asked him to or haven’t used a safe word. Regardless of his kinks, he wants all his sex consensual.

[rotating-hyperfixations]

Yellowjackets Rewatch Thoughts - 01x04

Back from my vacation and am returning to my rewatch grind, join me through the ramblings of my brain;

Nat centric episode!

I forgot they threw you right into the deep end with Nat’s dad

LottieNat crumbs!

Misty immediately fumbling her attempt to comfort Nat after Travis’ death is so on brand, I love adult Misty.

Watching the opening sequence after knowing what happens, it’s an insane how many scenes are highlighted

Also do we think they gave the young cast a camera and told them to just go around Canada being little delinquents and used that footage?

I fear Ben’s season 1 crash out is so valid, Misty was doing too much lol

Jackie and Van being Travis’ biggest ops, I know that’s right

Also, nice to Coach Ben being useful again

Baby Nat didn’t deserve that shit, all she wanted to do was hang out with Kevyn!

Sammy is such a cryptic ass child, I love that kid. Also Simone, while I love TaiVan, I miss you.

Jackie’s fit is immediately showing why she should not be trusted to handle firearms

Van immediately jumping to Nat’s defense, feeding my VanNat childhood besties headcanon

Shauna, you are about to do so much worse without the use of a firearm

Shauna is so sweet with Javi, I’m gonna kill myself. Her stupid, emotional caring ass died with Jackie

Adult Shauna bad decision counter: 3 (I feel like I forgot one)

Travis was such a hater this episode, I have no choice but to respect it (until he points a loaded gun at Nat, then it’s on sight)

Also does Mari being included in the shooting contest mean that she was 3rd best with the gun?!?!

Misty bringing a patient to spy on Nat is peak

Ben sending Nat and Travis into the woods together apparently hours after he pointed a loaded gun at her was certainly a choice, I get that circumstances were dire but I feel like there had to be better options

So far we know that Shauna still eats meat and Tai is a vegetarian, I’m curious where the other survivors stand

Ohh Shauna, trying to relive your teenage years is not going to make the pain go away; but it is sweet to see you try. Also, Shauna does a lot of dumb things this episode, so we’ll leave the counter at 5

Throughout Tai’s politician arc, I’m always surprised she went this route. Partially because of the whole plane crash thing that would clearly come up and be the center of any campaign of hers. But also, she seems like she hates nearly all aspects of politics and sucks in most of the situations she’s in where she’s supposed to be diplomatic.

Jessica Robert’s confused the shit out of me the first time around

Melanie Lynskey is just so charming with Adam it’s almost impossible to believe that she’s the same person who committed atrocities and likely war crimes both as a teenager and adult

Background TaiVan my beloved!

Not Jackie trying to atone for leaving Van on the plane

God, they just had Lottie being cryptic as fuck in all her scenes

I actually think Tai should’ve done a lot worse to that fake ass politician whose name is escaping me

Nat taking the ring off coach Martinez’s finger for Travis, she’s a far better person then me

The beginning of TravNat bonding over their shitty dads is kind of sweet, even if I don’t really ship them

First appearance of slutty lesbian ghost Jackie!

The Adam plot line is kind of intriguing, but I also do not care about this man one bit. Like stop putting straight men in my lesbian media!

Sophie Thatcher acted her ass off this episode, the scene before she kills the dear, her facial expressions are so good

Not Misty raising her hand when Ben asks if anyone wants to try and be the butcher

Whatever’s left of Shauna’s innocence remains, goes out the window when she bleeds out the deer. I know blood lust when I see it

Misty sociopath arc commencing

Also, I see Christina Ricci’s mannerisms have bled into Misty a little bit

[lilysaus]

time for lilys rare, once-every-five-months hot take on current general opinions, and this one has to do with j k rowling and harry potter.

ive seen some really harsh things said about her, and ive done my own research, and you know what? youre all right. shes a horrible, awful, nasty excuse for a human being. she is. im not going to deny it and i never will. you wanna know something else? harry potter, despite some of the horrible things that j k rowling included within it, is still a great work of fiction.

there. ive said it. harry potter is a great work of fiction. now, that might just be my ignorant little two-year-old brain who grew up reading that series saying that, it might be that im just desperately clinging to my precious past that means so much to me, but still.

consider this: a person can be a terrible, awful person that no one likes and still create fairly good things. someone, such as j k rowling, can be awful and horrible and completely unlikeable and still be a fairly good author.

i mean, just look at the things that the harry potter fandom has created. the darker, more j-k-rowling-esque things included in the series havent stopped the fandom from finding things within the books to justify their silly little headcanons. there are so many things about the harry potter series that are actually so cool and amazing that i dont think we should just completely ignore it.

instead of never reading harry potter again, just dont buy new books. if youve never read it but really want to, borrow the books from someone. find some free pdf online. find them somewhere where you wont have to pay for j k rowlings sexist, racist, and homophobic agenda.

instead of buying the movies, go hang out with someone who already has them. ask your friends if they already have the harry potter movies and either borrow them or watch the movies together. go onto piracy websites, for crying out loud! thats right! im condoning piracy for this one! go watch them illegally! as long as you arent paying for it, i dont care!

and another thing! keep creating fan content for it! and not just any fan content! make the kind of content that will make j k rowling see red. make the kind of stuff thatll just grind her gears. make the kind of stuff thatll make her scream in anger at her phone when she sees it. fanfics, fanart, if you think of it, you should make it.

please, dont let the creator of the content decide who enjoys the content and how. just dont support the creator while you enjoy the content. do the kind of stuff thatll make her mad, but she cant do jack-shit about it. just dont bash on the content.

you shouldnt feel guilty for liking harry potter just because the author is a little shit. you shouldnt feel guilty for liking something you grew up on. because again, you dont have to like the author to like the book. you dont have to like the director to like the movie. you dont have to like the creator to like the content.

thank you for coming to my hot take. have a wonderful rest of your day.

[neoaya]

Hot take!!! (Nuclear tbh)

People are way too shitty to the LW devs, especially Yumeno Rote.

This guy is responsible for every single piece of non-story card character art in the game, that includes units, costumes, alts, expressions, Music Video CGs, etc. Seeing as a new unit is released per week, along with 2/4 event costumes and 2/3 rebirth costumes at the end of the month, this guy is at MINIMUM drawing 8 fully detailed illustrations and backgrounds per month, for three and a half years straight.

The only other gacha to my knowledge that has one artist doing all the character art like this is Limbus Company, which even then has a significantly longer period between new art being added to the game. (I'm aware there are likely a lot more, but most to my knowledge have multiple artists)

So when I see a post criticising Lost Word, what do you think is being criticised 90% of the time?

Is it:

The fact it's a gacha game

Genuine criticism of the game itself and its mechanics or story

Hell, even criticism of the questionable work practice of having one guy do all the game's art

If you guessed 4, "near insignificant nitpick of Rote's art, AUs shown, or a VA (in a game where you can pick from 3 for every character) because it doesn't fit within their headcanon in a game about multiple different universes" you'd be correct!

Don't get me wrong, I have seen the first two plenty of times, but they're always either fair critiques or people who just don't want anything to do with gacha games and don't care which is understandable.

But for 4? The sheer amount of hatred and seething vitriol people express for details most people wouldn't think twice about is insane to me. It never seems to come from a sincere place of disappointment but rather fear to fit in, like "Oh this relates to me, I better lay in to it as much as possible since everyone else shits on it, wouldn't want to give people the impression I'm weird for liking it after all". It just seems depressing to me that people feel the need to act miserable out of peer pressure and not wanting to stray from the popular opinion.

As someone's who played the game since launch at this point I feel more than qualified to tell you it's FAR from perfect, hell I wouldn't even call it all that good. Gameplay fluctuates from playing the game for you to forcing you to have a full understanding of the meta, grinding is a chore, drop rates are far too low, the nature of the game forcing normally evil aligned characters to act more reasonably, and I unironically think the lack of representation and downright bad writing for Aya until now is singlehandedly responsible for making her drop by one place 3 years in a row in the THVote popularity poll.

So why do I still play it after all this time? Because I genuinely just want to see what they do next. I like seeing what new takes on characters they come up with, I like seeing where the story goes, what the next event will be and I love Rote's art and all the other art contributed by the JP community, I even think the Hifuu and RoM section of the story is genuinely good. It's nice to have a constant and reliable stream of Touhou media to read through in-between the wait for actual new games.

Somehow I don't feel that guy in the middle would want to come on livestreams 3 and a half years after launch if he didn't find it fun, same goes for all the artists and doujin circles that have contributed their art and music, especially those with more than one card or song.

If you want anyone to blame, blame GoodSmile for publishing this game and making this the complete extent they're willing to promote it and Touhou as a whole. (Last new character from them was a Reisen nendo from six years ago btw!)

In conclusion, I think LW has objectively done more good for the series than harm. You can not understate the fact that this game is responsible for introducing Touhou to so many new people and giving the spotlight to characters that are otherwise overlooked. Inaccurate character portrayals are rarely an issue when the series embraces differentiating itself from the source material, that's the nature of doujin culture. That and it seems silly to try and gatekeep people who got into the series through Lost Word, telling them they're experincing it wrong only serves to turn them away and I don't blame newcomers when official touhou media is still hard to come across in the west and the three most popular games in the series still don't have a digital release.

As a tangent, I used to have a problem with how Aya was depicted in a lot of fan media, even from people here, but a friend taught me I shouldn't let those alternate interpretations ruin my enjoyment of her and that I shouldn't fault them for seeing her that way. I feel others should be able to learn from that.

(I definitely forgot some stuff but this is ranty enough as is, I just wanted to get it out of my system)

[minheelovelee]

Heya, can I request the nsfw a-z for Yuma/&team, Heeseung and Sunoo both Enhypen? Ty 💖

Can I be the ❄️ anon

hi anon! ofc you can be snowflake! welcome to my little anon family :))) thanks for requesting, doing yuma today :P he's so interesting and very naughty. also i’m doing this wiff an edible in my system. wish me luck.

yuma nsfw a-z

warnings: nsfw :) slight cnc. slight noncon.

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

- he's so lazy. he'll fuck you stupid for hours. after he cums for the last time, he’s done done. you’re better off cleaning up in the morning, because he’s already hanging off your neck and snoring in your ear.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

-i wouldn't say this is his favorite part, but his mouth. he's always leaving trails of marks in hidden areas. he's moved past the desire for leaving hickies. you'll find his signature bite marks in places no one else can see.

- bewbs. anything he can do concerning your rack, he’s so down for.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

- inside. he’ll beg for it if you ask. any hole will do.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

- yuma is so naughty. that’s the best word to describe him. he’s very sneaky with his exhibitionism. most of the time, people won’t catch on to whatever foul acts he’s engaging in right under their noses. like how he fucks you in the same room as euijoo. or when he grinds on you while they talk about important subjects. how about every time he’s made you cum on his leg during a movie night.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

- he’s watched so much porn oh my god. everything under the sun. he’s new to the whole sex thing, but he’ll tell you he’s got year of experience under his belt. you’ll be able to tell he’s lying, when he cums after seven thrusts.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

- spooning. reaching around to feel your tits is his fav thing. he likes when you spoon him too. jerking him off or fucking him deep.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

- he’s a silly boy. when he’s feeling softer, he’s always smilin’ at you and giggling about something. definitely the type to giggle into kisses. or while he’s giving head. xoxo

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

- probably doesn’t shave. he doesn’t care to. if you tell him he doesn’t have to, he won’t.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

- he can be romantic, i’m sure. but he’s not really a romantic guy. he’s very intimate, though. getting as close as possible, and dedicating himself to his partner.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

- like every other day. multiple days in a row if he’s bored. he’s got a lot of extra, unspent energy that he channels into horniness.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

- somnophilia: oh he’s obsessed. him sneaking into the room after work. getting his partners little hole nice and wet with spit. bullying his cock past the tight rim. wiping away tears as his baby starts to cry. love it.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

- bathroom/bedroom. he likes to leave the doors unlocked/ajar and give you a false sense of safety. he thinks it’s funny when people walk in. the blush it leaves on your face fuels his humiliation kink.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

- the word “no”. he’s just going to sweet talk you into changing your mind. the word means nothing to him. it’s just a trigger word that makes him hard.

- desperation. he loves when you’re too desperate to make calculated movements. when the kissing is all tongue and teeth, the clothes don’t even need to come off. he loves it.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

- can’t say that i have an idea for this.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

- baby loves getting head :( he wants you gagging on his cock whenever possible. fucking your mouth >

- he’s really good at giving head. all positions. all holes. and eye contact.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

- he’s quite fast. he doesn’t hold back with his pace. his movements are rough too. but he’s a dancer, when he applies himself, his movements are so fluid and perfect.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

- so down. when the urge presents itself, he acts on it. sex isn’t just for home.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

- he’s willing to take risks, even when it’s deemed as inappropriate to do so. public sex, but he’s choking you until you’re dizzy. bath sex, but he’s making you suck his cock under the water.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

- unreasonably long. his needs are high.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

- oh of course. he has a fleshlight to fuck when he needs a hole. he probably has some vibrator to fuck himself with. he’s likes blindfolds too.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

-he’s super naughty and a big tease. he only gives you enough please to feel a little nice. then he takes whatever he wants. you have to beg to feel good.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

- whiny and annoying. it’s impossible to have sex without his roommates hearing. he got over the teasing after the first few times. they’ve been catching him getting off for years. he doesn’t keep his mouth shut. he makes really cute throaty sounds. you can’t blame him for letting everyone hear.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

- this friend is so kind. he’s used you as a model to show his friends what sex looks like. he knows they’re inexperienced and lacking skill. he’ll teach them a thing or two while using your body. that time he let nico practice his oral technique on you. or when he had jo fuck your ass to practice lasting longer.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

- like 4-5 inches. if he had 5.5 i’d be pleasantly surprised.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

- if you’re here, you know.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

- 7 minutes maximum. 3 minutes minimum. he’s a tired boy let him sleep. when he fucked you until he buried his cum deep inside you, then went to eat you out… then fell asleep on your pussy. whoops.

[temtamtom]

Any thoughts on Seborga?

Ohhh I love love love him. He's my little guy. My rotten soldier. My sweet cheese. My good-time boy.

I didn't care about him all that much until I visited the town of Seborga last year (I was in the area and wanted to drop by). I started thinking about him a lot more after that, and here we are now. I can't have modern Itabros or Itafam content without Sebby, it just wouldn't be the same 😔

This post might get a lil' lengthy as usual, so I'll put my headcanons and thoughts under "read more":

I feel like he's under-utilized in the brother/family dynamic, which is a shame. He's an interesting contrast to his brothers, who've been around for thousands of years and experienced so many hardships. He's very young and still a little naive to the reality of nationhood. His brothers kept him sheltered throughout his upbringing so he could have an easy, happy childhood. Lord knows it was messy for Romano and Feliciano. They didn't want that for Sebastiano.

Since Seborga is in the region of Liguria, I think he was given to Genova(/Liguria) first as a baby. Genova, who isn't very good at caring for others and knows it, immediately called up Feliciano. One thing led to another, and Seborga soon became part of their family. Sebby and Genova have a relationship but not as brothers. Maybe Sebby sees him more as a close family friend/"zio" type of person. Someone he can turn to for advice when he doesn't want his brothers to get involved in his problems.

The first few years of his life were very nerve-wracking. I have a headcanon that he aged scarily fast for a nation, on par with a human. They weren't sure if he would keep aging and eventually die off, and they didn't calm down until the late 70s/early 80s when his growing slowed to a halt. There was also a lot of debate about what sort of relationship they should have with Seborga. They were raising him from infancy, so were they his parents? Is one technically more of a "parent" than the other? What about just being brothers? Yeah, brothers sound better. Brothers but with more Nuance(TM).

Romano and Feli received an extensive education as children, so it felt obvious that Sebby should attend school as much as possible. Due to their living and working arrangements, Seborga went to school in Rome and consequently picked up a lot of Roman mannerisms. Something that didn't go unnoticed by Genova every time he saw the kid ("Look at what you've done to this Ligurian boy! He's Roman!")

Onto one of my favourite dynamics within the family- Romano and Sebby's dynamic. Grumpy boomer big brother and his baby brother who likes getting on his nerves at every opportunity but, goddamnit, that's his weird baby brother and he still loves him to pieces. I'm a big softie for some loving-big-bro-'mano content. That man will look out for his family I just know it. His doors are always open for Seborga and there will always be food on the table for him, no matter what. Even if Seborga likes to grind his gears.

Seborga grew up reading a lot of comics! He started with the more kid-friendly ones like Disney comics (Paperino, Topolino, etc.) and soon graduated to things like TEX (one of Romano's favourites) and Dylan Dog. As a child, he'd draw his own little comic strips and characters- a hobby that Feliciano actively encouraged.

One of his closest friends is Monaco. Seborga is very close to the French border, and while I was in the area, I got the chance to visit Monaco for a day. The drive was quite easy and relatively quick, so it's not hard to imagine that they would've struck up a friendship since they're quite close! One thing that I enjoy about this friendship is the Uptown Girl/Downtown Boy dynamic they'd have ❤️ I don't know, I just think they're lovely

I'll stop here, but. Yeah. I just think he's neat! A lovely fella

[bunnimew]

Which of the spirits in rotg do you think could do menial stuff without magical powers? Like, driving a car, doing taxes, etc? I like to think it was Jack that stopped the Guardians by the laundry place so they could get coins to exchange teeth with.

Hello anon! 

Life has been kicking our asses once again, so we know this is a huge delay but we WILL answer your asks eventually. Please be patient with us while we deal with this crazy time of year. 😭 

As for your question! 

Jack definitely seems the most ‘in touch’ with the modern world. I think he would know how the human daily grind works after observing them for so long. Although I don’t know if he’d be able to drive a car. 🤣 Use a video game controller? Sure. Steer a bumper car or go kart? Absolutely. Maybe he’d know the gist of it because there are plenty of teens who think driving is fun, but I think he’d be just as clumsy if he actually got behind the wheel. Additionally, I don’t think there’s any magical force on the planet that could get Jack to touch anything related to taxes. 🤣

I think North could drive a car though. He’s at least mechanically inclined to know how an engine would work. Man could probably conduct a whole train if he wanted. I could also see North being able to figure out taxes. He runs toy production. He deals with lists. Taxes wouldn’t be a huge leap. 

It’s a personal headcanon of ours that Pitch likes tea and knows how to cook, so, ignoring the logistics of how the lair has plumbing, Pitch would know how to do dishes. He ALSO probably knows a thing or two about taxes because people are so afraid of them, but I couldn’t see him actually sitting down and doing them. 🤣 He’d find a loophole like the villain he is. 🖤 

I could see Tooth also having some basic cleaning skills. Don’t know if I could picture her with a vacuum, but a mop and broom maybe. Look. Birds MOULT. That’s a lot of feathers piling up. And since she’s all about clean teeth, I think she’d also enjoy a clean home and work space. 🤣

On that note, bunnies ALSO shed, so Bunny probably knows some basic cleaning too. 

Sandy’s got it easy. Everything can be done and made with magic, baby. He’s just here to snooze and weave some funky dreams. 😎 

Thanks for the fun ask, anon! 

[samwiseism]

Are there any headcannons for Peter or other characters that are heavily adopted by the fandom that you love or hate in fanfics, artwork,etc?

this got very long so i’m sorry in advance! also i’m more talking about behaviours in headcanons rather than any specific headcanons people have cause I don’t want to put random people on blast <3

i think my main problems in fanon are ones that were perpetuated in *~*canon*~* (as far as comics have a canon, pffft) after the movies came out. i can’t say i engage too heavily in fan stuff outside of my tiny mutual bubble on here but i’m aware of how the gang is viewed outside and it’s not always great. intended with love, maybe so. but people are so guilty of taking the guardians at face value.

headcanons that run into the ‘peter is a stupid manchild’ characterisation is my biggest ever pet peeve. because he’s not stupid! he’s not a manchild! he’s very clever, and quick-witted and he plays dumb PURPOSELY to get the upper hand! he WANTS to be underestimated. that’s how he wins! his brain is working at a thousand miles an hour! and sure, he puts his foot in his mouth sometimes (okay, maybe a lot of times) but if you think Pete is stupid, honestly, you just haven’t been paying attention.

i think chris pratt being cast in the mcu is what started this characterisation because people were just like oh! andy dwyer in space. the legendary star-lord comic that came out after the movie is my villain origin story for making him an actual clown. after that in the comics they always made him stupid. which is bizarre in itself actually because despite the Andy Dwyer In Space jokes, I don’t think peter is portrayed as stupid in the guardians movies (infinity war and endgame don’t interact xxx). maybe not as quick on his feet as he is in the comics, maybe a little goofier, but certainly not an aggressively stupid 14 year old boy.

so the fact that casual fandom enjoys portraying Peter as an idiot or a child in a man’s body really grinds my gears. it’s so widely accepted too. or making him a pop culture quip machine. just stop 💀🔫

other things too are often just. accepted. rocket is mean. always mean. he hates everyone. drax is stupid (the mcu is guilty here). mantis is there to be cute. gamora is just the mum friend (???) like she’s not arguably the most unhinged person on the entire team. more recently, with the release of vol3, that adam is a himbo. as if the whole point wasn’t clearly explained in the movie: that he has all of this knowledge and these amazing skills but he’s very clumsy because he’s never done ANYTHING before! he’s learning!

so basically, any headcanons that have the team engaging in behaviours that perpetuates these things! it’s so annoying! and about loving? well things that don’t constantly do this.

in terms of LOVE: day to day domestic things. rich needs glasses to read despite his nova powers. groot sprouts flowers for birthdays. gamora is happy to teach people to meditate should they want to (she tries with Peter, it goes awfully, he’s bored and he also downed like 10 shots of coffee so he’s just fully vibrating). sam visits sometimes with rich and rocket is secretly always thrilled to see him. i love thinking about a boring day on knowhere <3