#i see the occasional memes but i have no idea what anyone is talking about

[babygirlpoll]

i feel like you shouldn't submit reigen anyway even if he was an anime u recognized it's just a meme to call him babygirl and submit him into polls, along with like sans undertale and saul goodman i think he would just skew the poll

so what you're telling me is i shouldn't put saul goodman in this? sans i knew and reigen i figured out on my own. but saul goodman being a skew the poll kind of babygirl is not what i was thinking.

[tallochar]

Just got hit real hard by a drive-by idea where Flashpoint doesn't happen and Dick just takes a few months off to chill (read: Donna shows up and drags him off to have adventures now that Bruce is back in town and everything seems status quo again)

And when he comes back it initially looks like that set up so many fandom fics have where Tim has been isolating himself / been left to his own means and only works with the others out of politeness.

And the moment Dick clocks that that's what the others think is happening, he can straight up feel the grey hairs trying to show up, because while he had phone calls with Tim (who seemed to be coping better with everything that went wrong in his life) and Damian (with whom Dick did not talk about anyone outside of Damian and, occasionally, Bruce, which was already hard enough on Dick without bringing the others in) he had also thought that things had sort of started settling back into what Dick used to think as normal before Bruce "died" on them.

Except Damian and Jason don't know how to pick up on that sort of thing, Cass is still doing her Hong Kong / Journey of Self Discovery Thing as far as anyone seems to know / Bruce is CLEARLY (to Dick and Alfred and absolutely no one else) still communicating with Tim because he's on an even keel but also he must have done something to piss off Tim because Tim is doing the Politely Co-Workers Thing at Bruce (with Alfred's approval and support so Bruce must have fucked up REAL BAD) and it's stressing Bruce out so much that Dick can practically see the tension lines heading to a breaking point in the man why is no one else seeing the tension lines.

Plus Barbara and Dick were still on not-so-great terms when Dick split from Gotham, so he's not had much luck talking to her and some desire to call her but not enough to actually call her a lot, just some, which hasn't made Babs less pissed at him, so he's not getting information on that side and of course if Barbara is pissed at him and Tim is pissed at Bruce and Dick wasn't around for Tim to bitch about Bruce in person (and Tim would NEVER on a phone line, not even a secure one) then Dick is 1000% sure that Tim and Barbara have been having a shared and supportive bitch fest for however many weeks / months Dick was away that has just solidified them in a block of their own.

All of which means that Dick's little brother has been left unbothered, unnoogied and unsupervised for all the time Dick was away and like, sure, some people would think Dick would feel horrible for that and want to octopus-grab him and cuddle him but those people would be wrong because Dick is now honestly terrified to find out WHAT Tim has been up to without supervision and limits.

Between YJ, his civilian friends, his other friends in the superhero community, whatever new people Tim for sure rustled up, the lack of supervision on who Tim teams up with and for what, all the villain-frenemies he might have decided it was worth cooperating with, Tim being pissed at Bruce enough to keep a physical distance if not a communication distance...

And then, just as it is hitting Dick that, of course just keeping track on the phone was a bad idea to begin with why did he think that was a good idea and that what with Barbara and Tim in agreement and both Tim and Barbara at odds with Bruce and Alfred firmly entrenched in his usual If-Tim-Is-Handling-Master-Bruce-I-Will-Not-Hear-A-Thing-Against-The-Lad british politeness artillery position, this means that no one who would not enable him in the Wrong And Not Dick Approved Ways has been actually keeping as close track of Tim as he should have been kept track of (because *will smith hands memes* TIM!) ...

... Red Robin swings by, Azrael in tow, clearly going after Lynx.

And it's not that new Azrael that they had, which was still an Azrael but wasn't the Worst of the Azraels.

It's fucking Jean Paul Valley, who is supposed to be dead and clearly did not have the goddamn grace to decide to stay dead.

Dick, internally while outwardly having a BSOD moment: Tim. Tim you had just told Dick you were going to check out a couple of leads tonight. Tim why are you swinging from rooftops with JPV in tow. Tim why is JPV ALIVE. Why did you NOT tell Dick about it, TIM. TIM.

[peachie-kittie]

GROUP AU

I cannot stop thinking about TPTM. So, in honor of that, I made those old fandom like - flow charts with the colored lines. 9 images, I'll be explaining below the cut

So! Quick run down on what the lines mean:

Pink: crushing. Explains itself, romantic attraction.

Yellow: close friends. Also explains itself, they consider themselves close confidants.

Cyan: like/friends. Not super close, but they'd hang around each other outside the group in big groups or every so often one-on-one.

Gray: neutral-friendly. Probably wouldn't hang out outside the group, but there's respect there and they usually get on fine.

Purple: calibers personal MOM line lmao. Not biologically obvs but she sees these girls as smth akin to her kids/nieces.

Got it? Sick.

-----

Disposable Girl (Jordyn-Mae Thomas):

Notes (in order for each girl):

-It and Irreverent have a cordial relationship but aren't close. They're personalities just don't really click.

-cluster b mfs who don't wash their hair stick together!! You can't tell me disposable doesn't drag splitter to the skate park after dark where they fuck around and eat stolen gas station snacks.

-wants to be closer to fainéant but doesn't wanna bother them. They're so sleepy all the time and also a smidge intimidating with how sarcastic they can be. Faineant finds Disposable girl really funny though and relates to the feeling of being sidelined.

-Looks up to Caliber as a cool aunt kinda figure but is too shy to ever express it. Caliber worries about Disposable hurting itself while skateboarding and enjoys talking Pokémon with it.

-Do I even need to say it. The Instagram story bro. Chocobo and Diaposable are GAY.

-Similar case to Irreverent with the added bonus of being slightly intimidated. I mean, Taxidermy's cool as fuck - wearing leather and other kink gear pretty openly. But also she's pretty stoic AND 21 and it makes Disposable self aware. Taxidermy, on the other hand, has a thing with anyone under 20 - that being, he thinks of them as BABIES (/silly). Aka he doesn't want to make them feel weird at all, mixed with the canonical shyness, makes her very reserved around Diaposable.

-originally it was pretty intimidated by chemical bc she's strong and atheletic as fuck but then chemical complimented Disposables outfit ONCE and it WOULD NOT let chemical go. They ended up bonding over shit like music tastes, anime, and even exercise a bit! Turns out disposable has a talent for ddr.

-it's admiration from disposable that makes her line blue and ignorance on refractions end. Disposable doesn't approach them often so they are clueless to the fact disposable finds her very ethereal and very cool.

------

Irreverent Girl (Kairi Herring):

Notes:

-Irreverent thinks Splitter is clever and brave but a little too reckless for co's tastes. One is aware of the fact, however, that Splitter thinks she looks cool and certainly doesn't mind the little debates they occasionally get into.

-Faineant and Irreverent are laid back buds who love to chill together. One is more than happy to just spend time in silence with Faineant and send each other memes. When faineant has the energy, they like to go online shopping together and discuss things like what happens post-mortem. Also, Irreverent is thankful that Faineant doesn't mind the flat affect of her tone.

-Appreciates Caliber's concern, but is fine with the casualty of their friendship. They don't have much in common anyway, but appreciates knowing another person in the group also struggles with emotional suppression the way co does.

-I said it in my headcanon post and I'll say it here; UNLIKELY DUO OF CHOCOBO AND IRREVERENT!! I love love love the idea that chocobo forced himself in irreverent's life and actually ended up bonding well with one!! It caught Irreverent off guard, too, but she realized that Chocobo's willingness to engage with many topics and do anything as long as the person he's with is genuinely happy was not only pleasant, but something co admires. It's also just funny to imagine Irreverent with her flat affect ass and Chocobo explaining how excited it's friend is, that's just co's face. Also they share accessories every so often bc Irreverent has more than just the cute bunny hood.

-Irreverent and Taxidermy are both flat affect motherfuckers. I'm not wrong. The only reason taxidermy's line isn't yellow is because Irreverent is 19. But once co turns 20, Taxidermy will probably be more willing to hang out around her.

-I don't have as many thoughts here; I see this as a slightly similar-ish situation to Splitter though. Chemical is really gentle and generally friendly, but not so affectionate that she'll just cling to people like Chocobo. And since friendship with Irreverent often requires initiation from the other party, they just never really bonded. Co has no qualms being around Chemical, though, and they've had a few fun interactions.

-Refraction's talk of metamorphosis and life after death intrigued Irreverent. She doesn't feel like many of the others would be as okay with such dark topics (save for Faineant, who deals with severe medical issue already), so she finds it nice to have someone co can talk to freely with. They don't talk much in person, however - lots of texting. They've probably gotten stoned together tbh.

-----

Splitter Girl (Tahira Rashid):

-Something I've read that I kinda wanna incorporate is this thing that some people with NPD experience is thinking you're closer to someone than you actually are.

-I say this bc it's her relation to faineant jdjdbsnsn splitter thinks they're besties and faineant is like "yeh she's cool but very loud n I'm gonna need her to tone it down before we consistently hang out." Splitter is trying her best to do so, she's just VERY hyperactive. They're working on it, essentially.

-Now, with Caliber, this is the closest pairing out of every single one that is at risk for conflict; and even then, it's not likely. It's because Splitter has like - issues with authority, prone to some envy, and seeing Caliber complain about things like how stressed she is from working her job and balancing all the (admittedly impressive) aspects of her life occasionally causes Splitter anger-jealousy. Caliber does their best to be patient with it and understand Splitter's side, and Splitter (while she'll never probably consider herself a friend to Caliber), is willing to see her a mentor of sorts.

-Chocobo and Splitter get along well! They know each other thru Disposable and while they don't hang out as much one-on-one, they have a very fun trio energy whenever they're around each other. Main issue is that Splitter can be a bit violent, gory, generally abrasive for Chocobo's tastes - Disposable mediates and the two are working on cooling it with the sensitive topics (Splitter) and getting a bit thicker skin to handle them (chocobo).

-SPLITTER THINKS TAXIDERMY IS METAL AS FUCK. She wishes Taxidermy was less worried about the teenager thing, but considering Splitter is the BABYEST-BABY of the group, it applies to her. However, Taxidermy has complimented her before, so she believes that once she's 20 it'll be fine and she'll TRULY get to impress this metal as fuck deer person. She also experiences mild envy towards Chemical and Irreverent for being exceptions lmao.

-Again!! Cluster b friends stick together! Not as close as she is with Disposable, but that's just because they vastly different interests so it's hard for them to find hobbies they can mutually enjoy. BUT!! They enjoy playing ddr together (despite splitters two left feet) and gush about figmas, gundhams, and garage kits together. And on days where Chemical is willing to stay in, anime binge days. Another thing is, again, Chemical is more gentle than Splitter - and her severe moods can influence Chemical's bpd poorly. They've both agreed to try and get closer as they manage their symptoms, though.

-Just not fond of Refraction, and it's mutual. Not in an antagonistic way, they're just kinda...parallel. Though Splitter will always admit it's pretty sick how openly Refraction is willing to talk about death, and Refraction will admit Splitters antics can be pretty funny.

-----

Fainéant Girl (Freyja Maria Mendoza):

Notes:

-You know I didn't intend to make Faineant one of the top three most social fucking girls but here we are. Idk why I just see her as getting on with everyone pretty well bc she's chill as shit and willing to do literally anything bc she likes going out (when they have energy!) But also know how to enjoy themselves inside so it's like. They ball dude.

-ANYWAY the rlly appreciate Caliber bc they care and express a lot of worry but sometimes she feels a tinge smothered. Caliber ofc does her best to avoid doing it bur Caliber is a perfectionist and sometimes not overdoing it feels like failure to help. But as a highly independent woman herself, Caliber respects Fainéant's deep need for independence.

-Similar to above with Chocobo. Chocobo is sweet and usually is good with not infantilizing Faineant, but can occasionally overdo it EMOTIONALLY. A lot of the time Faineant needs a little extra time to process their emotions bc of daily brain fog and sometimes Chocobo can go overboard in trying to help. Not to mention, Chocobo isn't really one for staying in unless it's a party, baking, or crafting - but they're still on pretty good terms!

-Taxidermy and Faineant are parallel but like. Not in the disinterest way. They're very much the type of duo to parallel play and send each other memes over discord. They also do girl talk about sex, honestly - talking about weird body shit, they're favorite sex toys (not in a flirty way!) and their gripes about it. But bc they're both quiet and Taxidermy is more reserved than Faineant, they aren't besties.

-Chemical girl!! Helps!! They met online in a forum where Faineant was asking about exercising when extremely disabled and although Chemical herself isn't she works in a gym and has helped people like her!! So she responded, they did a video call, and now Chemical is her personal trainer. The funniest part is that I imagine that happened before the hospital incident so just. I'm imagining a scene of them leaving the hospital at the same time and they run into each other and they're just pogging at each other. Then a few weeks later Faineant rolls into the first group session and just

"Why is my workout buddy at my therapy session???"

-And as for Refraction, they share similar struggles and have similar personalities; sarcastic, a little fatigued all the time, friendly, maybe a lil pessimistic on their outlooks in life. Faineant feels a huge sisterly bond with Refraction and they keep each other motivated to stay alive.

-----

Caliber Girl (Nora Qu):

Notes:

-MOM??

-anyway Chocobo adores Caliber!! Caliber was a little surprised at first, but ended up really appreciating Chocobo in a rich aunt-loving niece kinda way. They go out shopping together, Caliber gives her advice about red flags in people, and they honestly love gossiping (harmlessly!!) together. Caliber is the first significantly older person in Chocobo's life (other than his parents) he actually trusts again, feeling like Caliber is a mentor, aunt, and sister all in one. Also chocobo makes SURE caliber eats. Oh also before group therapy Caliber actually knew Chocobo through a coffee shop it worked at so when Caliber first saw him she thought the coffee shop was catering. No your favorite batista is just severely mentally ill sorry Caliber.

-Taxidermy is vvv shy and while she thinks Caliber looks sick ("the leather boots...where did you got those, ma'am" -taxidermy) he feels a little bit intimidated by Caliber's impressive record and social grace. Caliber is friendly nonetheless, and is trying to slowly get Taxidermy to open up.

-If chocobo is making sure Caliber is eating right then Chemical is making sure she isn't overworking herself! I hc'd they went to the same gym and I stand by it!! Before Chemical would just be on her ass for drinking water but now that she's heard her struggles with anorexia Chemical keeps a closer eye on Caliber. Also, similar aunt-niece relationship. Honestly, since I made all three close I've decided the three will go out and have shopping days. They're interests are all different but they've got alternative fashion and high energy to spare so it's chill.

-Refraction and Caliber have a similar dynamic to Rafraction and Splitter; parallel but in the way where they just don't touch. They look out for each other in therapy and occasionally talk, but nothing too close. They are fine like this.

-----

Chocobo Girl (Morgan Moretti):

-If Caliber wasn't required to have purple lines and I didn't need to indicate the crushes Chocobo would have 5 best friends. There are no gray lines. Everyone likes it.

-Anyway!! Just like with Irreverent it might seem unlikely but they have a nat 20 charisma stat and roll 15+ on 8/10 rolls for charisma so yeah. Taxidermy is shy and a bit aphasic BUT Chocobo is so patient and better at explaining their feelings once given a thread. They help Taxidermy open up and...being serious for a second. They did bond over sexual trauma. A lot of the girls have little bits of sexual trauma interspersed (Disposable not seeing itself as sexy, Irreverents line about being sinful, Caliber experiencing societal pressures) but these two are the most effected by sexuality related traumas.

-Anyway...moving on. Chemical girl and Chocobo both love going out. They're also both extremely gentle so they're very nice and fragile with each other. And like I said with the disposable + splitter combo: CLUSTER B BADDIES STICK TOGETHER!! They both experience rage-sadness a lot and know what the other needs to calm down; Chemical often does exercise and vents. Chocobo also vents BUT can get stuck in a thought loop so it's also helpful to have him watching Disney movies. Chocobo AGE REGERESSES and it's THERAPEUTIC for it be NICE.

-Receaction enjoys Chocobo's company! But similar to Faineant, he can be...a lot. It takes a lot of restraint on Chocobo's end not to try and force Refraction to "cheer up" - she's still getting used to not just jumping in to help. On the upside, Refraction is starting to sew more positives even with the chronic depression - and Chocobo is getting better at sitting with negative feelings :)

-----

Taxidermy Girl (Mayra Tikuna)

-Okay so after going through the faux-medixal records I realized Irreverent, Faineant, and Taxidermy all deal with schizospec disorders. With that said - these three hang out in silence texting each other and talking about literally anything. It's a great time.

-Anyway, Taxidermy and Chemical are decently close! Taxidermy appreciates how gentle Chemical is and they both have similar tastes in music. But, just like with Irreverent, Chemical isn't 20 yet so Taxidermy does her best not to interact much. Chemical is chill about it and is currently planning to invite Taxidermy to her 20th birthday. The other thing is that sometimes her mood swings prove to be too much for the gentle Taxidermy, and then need time away from each other.

-Quiet, reflective, and unintrusive? Great friend! Taxidermy and Refraction don't even talk much. They just really enjoy each other's vibes mutually.

-----

Chemical Girl (Joy Sinclair):

-Last pairing! Chemical and Rafractiom are friendly with each other, and get along well in groups. However, one-on-one, they don't have much in common. Still though, Refraction is like an anchor for Chemical, and gives good advice in regards to emotional regulation.

-----

Refraction Girl (Nataana Nchoko):

And that's my hcs for the au! I know it's a lot but I am genuinely so in love with this series it's unreal. Anyway.

I'll probably be back with more but I worked on this entire project in one day for at least 3 hours so. Yeah. Bye.

[siyzuii]

  ✦    ⤹    점점 더 난 네게 빠져가    ⊹    ❍

    ⟢    ₊    ↷ 𝒴ou attack my heart!

⠀   ͡ ׅ ۟  kassiadreams/siyzuii  ָ֢  ֹ  ֹ ۪ 𝟥 new layout? do we fw it?

✦   ⁔⁔ ۪   my first moodboard ever idek what they're used for but i love making them (not dr related like i said it would be.. but oh well i'm obsessed with chuu in the underwater mv anyway) i hope it looks decent?? might put one for every post if i feel like it heheheh ⊹  ֗  

☆⠀⠀𓈒⠀⠀ׁ⠀⠀this song is truly the cutest thing ever and a literal masterpiece at that, dare i say my fav kpop song!! ok now back to the actual post sorry LOL⠀ ׅ⠀⠀ ͡

── NEW INTRO POST 🔔

◌⠀ׁ₊   ˚  hiii!!! this is my shifting blog (and also my main blog)!! my username used to be siyzuii and i used to go by xylia or léa so u might know me from there but i go by kassia now! (close friends can still call me stella ofc)

i shift.. obviously anyway i've shifted to my dr 3 times now and shifted to parallel realities (on accident too) like a whole lot of times i can't even count

i have discord, tiktok, and instagram but i pretty much only use discord & tiktok, i exclusively use insta if there's someone i'm friends with that genuinely doesn't have any other socials.

note that i also only post shifting content on here. but i'm also 10x more active on discord & tiktok (mostly discord) than i am on tumblr, so feel free to add me (pls ask for my user first bc i have anti shifter friends and i don't want them finding this lol)

i also write and make edits (like every 2 months) yay!!!!

── INTERACT NEOW!!!

other shifters (specifically kpop shifters i need my spotify premium back. hi yes lets yap about our drs together pls) (honestly i'll yap with anyone about each others drs) (this is a silent invitation)

i don't care if you don't believe in shifting, if you respect people who do believe in it (and aren’t gonna force your beliefs on them) feel free to interact! i don't know why you would but whatever

cool people!!!

── GO!!!!

anti shifters (bye)

basic dni criteria

people who actively hate on everything (do you have a life?)

── WHAT TO EXPECT FROM MY PAGE

shifting content (mostly storytimes & yapping and whatever with the occasional sprinkle of memes)

shitty & messy blog layouts because idk how this app works

rants

yapping

probably me going inactive for either 2 days or 2 weeks straight (school keeps me busy and i already skipped my homework for this)

i might call u slurs if we get close!! (THAT I CAN RECLAIM)

me NOT talking about my favs (i cant openly talk about them idk why it's so embarrassing bye)

potentially horrid english because english is not my first language (i pull this excuse every time)

slow replies on here bc i forget about this app 24/7

── MY CARRD

kassiadreams.carrd.co

literally this whole thing summarized

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ♡ ͟ ׂ 𓂂 THANKS FOR 400+ FOLLOWERS I LOVE YOU GUYS MWAH !! should i do anything special?? if u have any ideas lmk and i'll see what i can do LOL

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ⊹ ׂ ok i know a while ago i said to drop some stuff in my ask box bc i'm bored but i havent answered any of them yet BECAUSE I DIDN'T KNOW WHERE TO FIND THEM UNTIL I GOT ON MY PC AGAIN so i'm gonna restart this time i SWEAR ill actually go over them from now on everything you ask i WILL see. thx guys!!!!

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ⋆ ۫ ໒ give me post suggestions i beg..

[strawbrygashez]

Andre hcs bc he’s underrated 🗣

•While he will listen to Cals grunge & borderline emo music and finds himself enjoying it here and there, he loves aggressive music a lot more. Anything u could mosh too really. His favorite genres are industrial metal & nu-metal.

•If he was a little more confident in himself and wasn’t worried about being picked on for yet another thing, he’d dress a lot more metalhead-y if he could. I imagine his style would be a mix between mallgoth, metalhead, and some military aesthetics thrown in there. (I shared a hc that cal was talking about working at hot topic before and this kinda ties into that lol. I think andre really wanted him to get the job so he could have a excuse as to why his wardrobe was getting more alternative. Yknow? Like since Cals working there and he goes to visit him when he can, why not browse around a little?)

•He self harms mostly when he’s angry. He’ll hit himself/his head when frustrated, punches stuff, picks his skin, and burns himself occasionally. He also cuts too but not as much as Cal does. He makes sure his cuts actually look like cat scratches that Mel could have gave him.

•(somewhat not really a hc/basically canon) He has a couple mental disorders but his parents kinda have no idea. He keeps things going on in his head to himself. Even Cal didn’t realize how bad off Andre was until Andre began to really trust him. Seeing that Cal obviously had his own issues (the sh scars) made it a lot easier for Andre to share his problems. As emo/stereotypical as it sounds, he really didn’t think anyone would ever get him in the same way Cal does.

•Andre is just full on GAY. He kept that note that girl gave him ages ago because it just made him feel happy and flattered. When he burns it, he only does so because he feels like he needs to fully rid himself of anyone but Cal. (Bc let’s be honest, there really wasn’t any point of him burning it otherwise? They wanted to get rid of things like CDs, books, and games so the media couldn’t blame what they did on stuff like that. I don’t get how the media could have tied the little love note to what they did.)

•He really thought he’d be a dog person until he met a actual dog as a kid. He didn’t like how hyper the dog was & that it kept jumping on him. That’s why when his parents saw it seemed like Andre was becoming lonely sometime in middle school, they got Mel. He bonded super quickly with her.

That’s not to say he won’t give a dog attention & play around with it. He just prefers cats over dogs any day of the week.

•He likes going on walks a lot. Especially if cal comes with. He likes finding places that seems like no one else knows about. I think he’d be SO thrilled if they found a abandoned old tree house. He repairs it up a little bit, adds some things inside and then declares it the army of twos meeting place. (even if they actually rarely meet there lol. They r more likely to be at each others houses but they spend some nights, share secrets, plan things and whatnot up there.)

•He’s not shy really when speaking but words do get caught in his throat and he can be kinda awkward & can’t really read the room when he’s with a big group of people.

Yknow that “he asked for no pickles” meme? That’s Cal saying that with Andre behind him to me.. Andre just prefers not to speak unless it’s absolutely necessary (with people other than Cal) or if someone pissing him off.

•He can take just about anything apart and put it back together again. He fixes Cals siblings toys all the time. He even fixes their bikes too. But he can do more complex things like taking apart a computer and all that.

•He doesn’t have many memories from when he was in Germany. He remembers some relatives and just random odd things here and there but he mostly only has childhood memories from his time in the US.

•He cusses, shit talks under his breath, calls Cal both sweet and mean names all in german.

-He doesn’t do it as much as a older teen but when he would forget the word for something in English he’d say it in German.

-The first time he said I love you to Cal was in German since he knew Cal probably didn’t know what he was saying. Like I said he also calls him names too which Cal and Rachel would try to figure the translation for later online. If it’s something romantic, Cal always would go “Haha yeah this definitely wasn’t what he said.”

•He looks up to Cal so much and is jealous of him. He loves that Cal lets himself be more vulnerable & all cheeky/boyish. Andre for some reason or another feels the need to come off as the strong, more masculine and mature one of the two around others. He likes that Cal expresses himself through sappy shit like poems & music. Andre has it in his head that he always needs to bottle everything up which results in him being quick to get angry and lash out.

That last part is why he was always so annoyed by Rachel. He couldn’t find it in himself to even tell Cal that he doesn’t want him spending time with anyone else though it’s honestly pretty obvious lol.

[microwave-core]

A Handful of Headcanons

These are, uh, kinda unhinged.

I love Nemona with my whole heart and soul, but I almost always write her (and you, dear reader) as being insanely oblivious because I just can't help myself. Every time I saw her in my Scarlet playthrough all I could think was “You wanna kiss me so bad you look stupid” because that is exactly what she’s like.

Her friends have been telling her for the past Arceus knows how long about her crush, but she never understood where they were coming from. Her obliviousness is completely impenetrable, it’s insane. They’re all pulling their hair out by her inability to recognize her own damn feelings.

Like, it’s to the point that her friends think she’s worried about people’s reaction to her being gay. Penny will casually tell Nemona that everyone was fine with her being gay or bi or whatever but Nemona’s just genuinely a dumbass when it comes to romantic feelings. 

(It’s funny, really, because anyone that would have a problem with her sexuality would never voice it lest they get their ass kicked but I digress.)

But when she realizes it? It’s fucking over. Her entire perspective has changed and she is now a new person. She now spends her nights staring at the ceiling plagued by thoughts of you. She could never fall asleep when thinking about holding your soft hand, or playing with your hair, or feeling your lips against her own. Occasionally, her thoughts become unsavory, and it never fails to make her feel like a complete creep because she shouldn’t be thinking of you like that.

When around you, she manages to act pretty normal. She’s too distracted by you to be overthinking her own feelings. The most she’ll do is just… look at you, but kinda intensely.

She’s just in so much awe at your existence, how you could look so beautiful, so elegant, just sitting there. Your every action sets her heart ablaze. Please give her affection, she deserves it even if she can be inexplicably stupid at times.

Cynthia would be such a wife-guy, it’s unreal. I have given this much thought. Sometimes I think about those alignment chart memes and everytime I do I think about the champions in regards to how they would treat their partner and, without fail, Cynthia and Leon fall into the wife-guy section and I will not elaborate further (that is a lie I will elaborate if asked). 

People across the world look up to Cynthia as a pillar of strength, as a serious badass who could curb stomp you with a single look. These people have no idea how much of a nerd she is, but they sure as hell know how much she loves her wife. 

Every interview she’s ever in, she will bring you up. No matter how much you might beg or plead her to, to avoid the embarrassment of her unabashed declarations of love, she will not stop. She cannot stop herself even if she wanted to.

She is the definition of relationship goals. All of her interviews have comments like “get you a girl who will talk about you like how Champion Cynthia talks about her wife” under them. 

And she absolutely adores your embarrassed reaction to them, too. You just look so adorable when you’re flustered. Don’t worry, she won’t tease you that much, that’s not really her style. She’ll always make it up with hugs and kisses and chocolate and anything else your heart may desire. She loves you more than anything else, after all.

Geeta is lowkey a sugar mommy, no matter what. Certified Girlboss™ over here is so busy, which she’s not inherently against as a workaholic, but it does prevent her from seeing you.

And so whenever she does get time for you, she will spoil you. Gift giving is her way of showing affection, at least when it comes to you. She’s practically made of money, please spend as much as you want. It’s her treat and you deserve it. Don’t even think about pulling out your purse or wallet, she will not let you pay. 

During quiet moments in her day, she’ll pull up a store on her phone and scroll until she finds something you’d like. She’ll be scrolling through fancy-smancy stores during an important meeting or when talking to someone like Nemona or Clavell because she just thought of the most darling thing to get you and she needs to find something suitable this instant. And she’s not slacking off or not paying attention, either, she knows exactly what is being said around her.

She’s also shameless. On more than one occasion, someone’s seen her looking for fancy, incredibly expensive lingerie. They’re incredibly embarrassed about it, but Geeta doesn’t care. She is in no way flustered or worried, just amused by their reaction.

If you don’t live together, she’ll totally send packages to your house or apartment. She’ll usually tell you, but sometimes she just doesn’t and suddenly you're opening your door in the morning only to be greeted by several packages. 

Not so much of a headcanon as much as it is a concept, but Courtney and Shelly pining for the same person. That’s it, that is the thought,

These two are their own brands of unhinged, and they would absolutely rip the other to shreds if it meant winning your heart. Courtney is just batshit insane. She’s feral. She’s completely unhinged and would go to any lengths necessary to get you by her side, no matter how much she has to dirty her hands to do so.

Shelly is also unhinged, but she’s far more calculated. She’s part of the brains behind Team Aqua, and so she’s not going to take action without considering all her possibilities first. She’ll go to the same lengths Courntey will go to, but she'll consider all her actions before making a commitment.

There is very little you can even do in this scenario. They would choke each other out with their bare hands if it meant having you. Don’t think this can end in dating both, they would never tolerate the other. They’re just going to continuously fight each other, try to one up each other, until one of them snaps. 

Drasna is severely slept on. I don’t even have a grand vision to put here. There is no idea, there is no headcanon, and there is no scenario. All you get is the concept of Drasna.

Just like… look at her. She borders on milf and gilf, she is decorated in dragon bones, she is sweet and kind and could kick your ass. She is gentle and loving but changes into cold and savage when in the midst of battle. 

She could curb stomp your ass any day of the week, and you (by which I mean me) would thank her. Not that she ever would. She cares about you too much! If you did battle her, she would attempt to go a bit easier on you, toning down the intensity a bit, but it slips out every now and then.

Also, do you think she’d have fangs? That’s how all the dragon tamers are in my head, so it’s not really Drasna specific. Actually, don’t answer that, she totally does because it’s my fanfic and I get to make the rules.

Anyways, Drasna would totally live in a cute little cottage. She’s from Celestic Town (apparently), so she likely prefers a quieter, humbler lifestyle. That is to say, you get to live with her in a cute little house that’s surrounded by nature and is also covered in dragons. You get to unwind at the end of the day by sitting in your cute little garden with her, and isn’t that just the dream?

…. How do we feel about gilfs? Like, in general. Milfs are pretty unanimous, I think. We all love a hot mom, but what about hot grandmas? I say that like the Pokemon grandmas are hot which I don’t think they are (except Cogita, obviously) but like… is there a consensus on this?

I don’t know man, when I look at Agatha and Bertha and Opal it’s just like… that’s a grandma. She’d bake you cookies and ask you about school or work. Agatha has an implicit risk, as you will be jumpscared by her ghosts. She’s also a little bitter and would totally just bitch about the people that get on her nerves. She’s old, she doesn’t care about anything anymore.

Bertha is the kind grandma who always asks if you want to help her make the cookies (she will not be offended if you decline). She’ll ask how your life is and will give you so much useful advice. She’ll also tell stories from her youth, and she looks so happy when she does it. She’s just nice, that's all I have to say.

Opal. Oh Opal. This specimen already has the cookies baked when you show up at her door unannounced. She knew you would be coming. Come sit down and complain about your life. She wants all of the gossip. Tell her everything, especially about your love life. Be careful about what you tell her, though, because she will not hold back when giving you her opinion.

Sorry I couldn't help myself. I had to write this out. I’ll go back to the regular headcanons.

Regular is a strong word. I desire Sada carnally. She is broken and I can fix her, okay? I have thought about this a lot, and I would subject you to all of those thoughts in incredible detail if I was strong enough to truly capture her image.

Real talk though. Sada is hesitant to fall in love again. She’s gone through a messy divorce before, and doesn't want to go through that kind of thing ever again. But she couldn’t help but fall in love with you, which leads to one of two things happening.

There’s the realistic option, that her love for you will make her work even harder towards finding paradise, which basically just leads to how the game plays out. She spends more and more time in the crater until she decides to move into it and eventually gets got by Koraidon, but you don’t know that. It would suck, but you would not be totally alone as you would have Arven there, going through the same thing. At the very least, he’ll turn out slightly better (until he has to tell you that Sada’s been dead for Arceus knows how long). 

But that’s sad, so I present to you the ideal option, that her love for you makes her realize how damaging her workaholic nature has been. She’ll be able to take a step back from her work, from the time machine and Area Zero, and just be able to live in the moment with you and Arven, like a normal family. She starts working as a regular professor. Hell, she might even start teaching at Naranja, where she’ll get to tease Arven everyday.

Anyways, regardless of what happens you get to be Arven’s stepmom, and that makes it worth it because he deserves a good parental figure in his life. I love him, he is my son, and he deserves the world.

Speaking of milfs: Lusamine. Hear me out. Technically, there are three types of Lusamine. There’s Sun and Moon Lusamine who is completely unhinged and selfish and will stop at nothing to get her way. There’s Ultra Sun and Ultra Moon Lusamine who is also slightly less unhinged and will stop at nothing to get her way, but she’s doing it for a greater cause (although it’s still kinda selfish but sometimes it’s the thought that counts). Then there's the anime Lusamine, who is actually pretty normal. Not unhinged or feral or incredibly selfish, just a mother trying her best for her two kids. 

All three of them are near and dear to my heart, but, to me, Ultra Sun and Ultra Moon Lusamine reigns supreme. She’s the best of the other two, where she’s both unhinged and trying to be a good mom (after the Ultra Necrozma business goes down, anyways).

When she becomes more adjusted, not worrying about saving Alola from an unworldly entity, she’s incredibly supportive, both to you and to her kids. Speaking of kids, if you don’t support Lillie and Gladion with your whole heart, she will cut you off. Her family is important to her, especially after losing Mohn.

Writing this, I realize that I might just be invested in giving these kids better lives, but whatever. Lillie will open up to you pretty quickly. She wants to do all kinds of mother-daughter activities. Please just spend time with her, she will love you forever. Gladion takes a bit longer, but he’ll cave to your kindness in time. He won’t admit it, though, he has an edgy persona to upkeep.

Or maybe you're into an evil bitch and you want selfish and crazy Lusamine, which is also understandable. She’ll do anything for you, and I mean anything. She would be pretty controlling though, and she might love the Ultra Beasts more than you, but that’s the price you’ve gotta pay if you want her unhinged.

Oh and also, please don’t look into Ultra Wormholes or Ultra Beasts. No matter what version of Lusamine you’re into, just don’t. Lusamine would never recover if you disappeared like Mohn did.

I’ll end this with Marnie, because I like her. She’s kinda quiet and maybe even a little shy, but she’s adorable and loves you with her whole heart and soul. Her quiet nature, though, is lost when you start doing… basically anything. Whether you’re battling or studying, she’ll be your number one cheerleader.

When you’re battling other people, she’ll be hyping up your every move. You're her girlfriend, you're obviously up to snuff, and she’ll remind you of that fact constantly. She’ll even bring in Team Yell to help out. She wants the entirety of Galar to know how strong you are. 

But she’ll cheer you on quietly, too. When she senses you're overworked or stressed, she’ll be bringing you blankets and hot tea before you can even complain about your problems. And when you’re settled in, she’ll bring you curry and huddle into your side. She’ll even get Morpeko to cuddle up to you. Feel special, Morpeko won’t even do that to Marnie, and she would complain if it wasn’t making you feel better.

If you’re battling against her, she won’t openly cheer you on like normal. She’s a gym leader, she can’t just go throwing a match because she loves you! But she’ll compliment your strategy when you're doing well. Team Yell won’t be cheering for you, though. 

Also, Piers would be totally chill with you. He couldn’t be intimidating even if he tried, he is a literal twig. He just wants his sister to be happy and safe, and mans knows you would never do anything to hurt her. Besides, someone has to tell you Marnie’s embarrassing childhood stories and baby photos.

[billowingangel]

Welcome ✧

I've been into hetalia since 2016 and for a while I tried to pretend I didn't like it....And I'm tired of living that lie! So I'm back to thinking, loving, obsessing, and writing about Hetalia.

I also block very freely and I'd rather people be 18+ to interact (since occasionally I may post nsfw/nsft which I will always tag)

I'm currently working on a few fanfictions which you can find on AO3 and FF.net

My favorite character is Canada 🍁 And I ship him with pretty much anyone...and I mean anyone...If that makes you uncomfortable please feel free to block this blog or the tags associated with ships you are uncomfortable with. I may at times reblog problematic ships, I'll add tags for the ship and a cw for the problematic element of the ship. Please take care of your mental health and curate your online space to what is best for you ♡ ˎˊ˗

more information below the canada picture

Wow, you clicked continue reading so here's more annoying stuff about me and this blog (^_^)

I spam reblog, mostly fanart (so many in this fandom are so talented!) and miscellaneous things (memes, random shit, writing tips, etc).

I'll occasionally post some of my own fanfictions (drabbles or links to them)

I also will post my rambling silly thoughts. I have decided to let myself loose and be as annoying authentic as possible here.

Also I will do my best to tag content/trigger warnings but I may forget (memory of a goldfish) so if I do please let me know

Here are some tags I use on this blog to organize (still working on what tags to use) ᯓ★

#art reblog ( ˘͈ ᵕ ˘͈♡): self explanatory

#hetalia fanart ✨: reblogs of hetalia fanart

#canon tbh: posts that I see as accurate to character's personalities, how I perceive them, and how I think they'd act

#hetalia fanfiction:

#hetalia meme:

#positivity: posts and reblogs that are positiive

#misc: posts that are surprisingly not related to hetalia

#me core: reblogs that I really relate to

#fanfic imagine: imagining a fanfiction and maybe i'll write or finish the idea

#fanfic in progress: my thoughts during the process of writing fanfiction, debating whether I should do this or that, talking about what I plan to do, blah blah

#my fanfic: fanfiction that I have written, usually a link to ao3 but may also be to ff.net

I also mostly tag hetalia characters as hws so if you look up hws canada (for example) you'll be able to see all posts about that character

Some of my favorite posts of mine ┈─★

Now more about me which is why you're reading this (I'm just kidding)

Call me angel or anything really I don't care what I'm called (ᐢ. ̫ .ᐢ)

Also please feel free to message me!! I love talking to people but I get a bit hestitant about initiating. My discord is billowingangel if you want to talk there!

I'm 20 years old and I go by she/her pronouns and I'm a lesbian I love me some boobs what can I say ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I may be a raging homosexual but I'm also a raging hetaliansexual (joke), I am attracted to so many fictional male characters and shockingly a ton of them are from hetalia (shoot me dead)

I love hetalia if that isn't obvious, it's on my brain a probably disturbing amount what can I say I'm mentally ill. I also like other anime (demon slayer <333, jujutsu kaisen, the witch and the beast, parasyte, etc), doctor who (so happy there's a new season), yuri manga!!, and other shit. I love horrors and thrillers! I rarely watch romantic comedies but I love reading romance in fanfiction ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I'm working on my own book (probably my 20th book) but I'm hoping to actually finish this one.

I am also working on multiple fanfictions: red means it's completed

off the grid: canada slightly snaps and goes on vacation lol

???:idk what to call it, america, england, and france are all fighting for canada's love and he's oblivious

unhealthy obsession: another country becomes obsessed with canada

Falling for Canada: multiple rarepair oneshots with Canada

My first omegaverse 0.0

a really stupid horror drabble that I posted

amecan week 2024

And I believe that's it~ Maybe I'll add my favorite ships

[lyrical-fanfics]

Comforting a depressed partner

So I've been having a bit of a depressive episode, and I've been having a hard time, so I decided to make a quick HC of what the TWST boys would do if you were in the same situation.

✨Heartslaybul✨ | Savanaclaw | Octavinelle | Scarabia | Pomefiore | Ignihyde | Diasomnia

❤️Heartslabyul Boys❤️

Riddle

Would immediately begin piecing things together. He would see self-isolation, oversleeping, and low appetite as red flags, and would start by making a checklist for you.

He would check on you daily to make sure you're doing things to make you feel better.

he would also encourage that you go and do things with him instead of him getting up and doing it by himself.

He serves you tea as a way to get you to sit up instead of just laying down, all while still following the queen's rules.

He also knows your medicine schedule to a T, and will remind you to journal how you're feeling.

He'll do his homework with you in arms reach, just in case you need him, and if you're feeling up to it, you can lean on him. his hand will either rest on yours or on your thigh, occasionally squeezing it to remind you silently that he's there.

"Do you need anything? ... I'll find a stopping point and we can go grab it together. A little walk would do well for you. "

Ace

He's very gentle in private right now. He'll still give you some sass to make you laugh, but he's very careful around you right now

He's highly protective of you right now too. He's either got a hand on you at all times, or he's texting you. Anyone that might give you shit right now is getting a stare-down from him.

He'd deliberately text you and check in on you around mealtime, and chastise you for not eating

He's also spending nights at your place to keep an extra close eye on you, usually after begging Trey for the sleepover permit (not that you'll ever know)

during sleepovers, he's wrapped around you like a weighted blanket, squeezing you to let you know how much he cares.

"You haven't eaten? the last time you ate was 14 hours ago, come on, let's go! can't have you starving on me! what are we having tonight for dinner by the way? I'm sleeping here"

Deuce

He has absolutely no idea what to do

He'd be worrying up a storm, asking constantly what he can do for you.

He'd be like a lost puppy at your side, whimpering and trying to come up with things to do. He's giving plenty of forehead kisses hoping that helps, but they aren't instant cures, so he continues to worry

When there is even an inkling of something you need, he's already on his feet. He wants nothing more than to be there for you,

He hates feeling this useless and wants to do something for you

He finds that when he doesn't know what to do, he just holds you, partially for his own sanity as well

"Huh? Do you have a craving for something? NO! Let me get it! I'll run and get it! I'm fast, I'll promise I'll be right back!"

Cater

Cater's very observant, and would notice signs even before you might piece it together for yourself

Cater's the type to get you walking around with him, whether it's to class or to nowhere

If you can't walk as much as you would like, he's sending you memes and face-timing you while he's away,

He's showing you everything he sees, talking about anything and everything

He wants to make sure you aren't ever lonely right now, and will even be on call with you until you fall asleep

when he's with you, he'll spoon you and scroll through social media with you, occasionally giving you kisses on the crown of your head.

He also has your medicine schedule memorized, and his phone will ping with an alarm to help both of you remember

"You can't go any further? that's okay, you did really well with today's walk! don't worry about anything else, Cay Cay's got you."

Trey

He's immediately making sweets and baked goods for you when you're starting to not feel well,

but when it's clear that it's an episode, he spends less time baking and more time sitting on the edge of your bed keeping you company.

If you're someone who apologizes a lot, he'll make you turn it into things you're thankful about instead of things you're sorry about (Ex. instead of "I'm sorry you have to take care of me" it's "I'm grateful for taking care of me")

He'll rub his thumb over your hands, give you gentle kisses, comforting you through this time.

He's here for you, making sure you aren't alone

"Hey, how are you doing today? any better?... No no, don't apologize, I'm gonna be here for you regardless. Here, I brought you something."

[nokingsonlyfooles]

Updates?

CPA exams for spouse are over, for now. He'll get the results in August and if he failed any part, he needs to pay to take that part again. Fingers crossed we're done with school.

And I feel like the internet is over too. I am seeing the wheels turning and I don't like how it works now or where it's going. I have 50 people who seem to enjoy reading a stream of other people's content that I curate for this soulless corporation that will be doing increasingly stupid things trying to turn a profit on what shouldn't be a for-profit enterprise, human connection. Only the people who were interested in my work before this are interested in it now. I don't want to be an unpaid meme editor.

I'm looking into another desperate reformat of my work, groping around for an audience and a community for the few people who read. And the corporate advice for getting started includes a reminder not to bug people who are more established than me for interaction. Why not start something with your friends and interact with each other?

Yes. What I need to do is show up with a ready-made network of creators, dump a bunch of free content on the platform, and maybe the algorithm will reward us if we're good. And please, do not get ideas above your station and ask your betters for a boost. They hate that.

I know they do, and I guess I know why. Saying, "I like what you made, I also make things" just isn't done anymore. That's something a robot, plagiarist scam artist says. Free content? That's just bait. And it's probably garbage. DMs and direct interaction are for porn bots or people you already know IRL. Connecting with strangers on a human level is not on offer anymore. You need to interact with the whole room, keeping as many profitable attention spans on the platform for as long as possible with your "content." Free stuff on my own website that I pay for isn't profitable enough for anyone else. Short takes that get likes and AI-generated garbage are much better.

I didn't want money, I just wanted to break even and get seen. I've had to accept that if I don't look profitable, I won't get seen. But I don't know how to make myself look profitable when the corporate interests running this place have no interest in human beings who want to say something. Endless regurgitation of the latest popular thing is much better for everyone.

Maybe it is, but it won't keep me here. I'll see about the brave new format, but it'll take a lot of effort on my end. And as for Tumblr... I'm not all that invested in yelling "I like this!" into the void when something interesting goes by. I'll still do it sometimes, I guess. I don't mind putting up an occasional essay, either, but let's get real. I'm basically talking to myself when I do that.

If you're one of a few following because you read, I'm sorry, I'm about to get even quieter. If you were walking by and liked the latest popular thing I reblogged... There are a lot of people here who have way more fun doing that. Go follow them.

[marley-manson]

4, 17, 20, 24

Thank you 💖

4. Where do you find inspiration for new ideas?

lol honestly probably mostly from reading other stuff (or reading/watching the canon) and thinking about what I'd like to see instead, how I can take a general concept and make it more tailored to me. I've noticed that when I read less fic I also have less motivation to write.

17. What do you do when writing becomes difficult? (maybe a lack of inspiration or writers block)

I stop writing lol 😔 Occasionally I'll try to brute force something, usually if I'm stalled out on a fic, but it's usually doomed to failure. To try to reinspire myself I'll often re-read a wip and edit what I have, and hope more ideas come to me. Sometimes that works.

20. Have you noticed any patterns in your fics? Words/expressions that appear a lot, themes, common settings, etc?

Lots of stuff that I generally find appealing: characters who know they're not straight, confident bottoms, very flawed relationships, fucking first and talking later/never, miserable people. I have to work to avoid conversations that feel like two people floating in a void together lol.

24. Worst writing advice anyone ever gave you?

lol I honestly don't recall ever being given writing advice, except on like very specific things by betas, and those are all good suggestions. I'm sure I got some in school, but idr specifics. In terms of like general writing advice I've seen going around social media, I've seen the terrible advice to minimize the use of 'said' with a list of possible dialogue tags to choose from, when a much better and less silly way to avoid sounding repetitive is to vary your sentence construction.

OH and also there was a post that went around a while ago about how paragraphs in fic shouldn't be longer than a sentence or two or else it feels too slow or dense or smthn???? Not even exaggerating. Bizarro world take, but it had a lot of notes. Personally I dislike when a fic has a paragraph break every sentence or two lol, it reads like someone pausing for dramatic emphasis constantly.

ask meme

[lastoneout]

wait whats your follower count?? are you like a tumblr celebrity

a tumbrity

a..

actually idk how to put it

just curious tho

I am of the opinion that I am not a tumblr celebrity, but everyone has a different idea about what a tumblr celebrity even is so like who knows. To me a tumblr celeb is someone who you can like mention to the average tumblr user and they will know who they are, which are typically people in the like 60-80k+ range from what I can tell, and I haven't even broken 10k yet(9,458 if you want the exact number). Also I've had the same blog since I joined in early 2012 so I feel confident in saying that a good portion of those blogs are abandoned or bots or something like that. I don't really vet my followers for bots that much because I am chronically ill and tired a lot and it's annoying so yeah, probably a lot of bots.

Anyway I def don't have enough followers for it to like, do anything for me(aside from like, having my posts get reposted to reddit and instagram and read in youtube videos, but that does next to nothing for me so whatever) but that's also probably bcs I don't really market myself I guess? Like I post about my twitch streams and art occasionally and I make funny posts but I don't really like....have a thing people can expect from me consistently, you know? I don't write essays or run an etsy shop or have any Noteworthy Pets or make interesting art that I post about. I'm sure if I like actually buckled down and actually started Making Something all the time I'd get more followers...but every time I've tried I just get bored or have a Certified Kiki's Delivery Service Moment and stop making anything for a while(the last time I tried to open commissions I had a breakdown and stopped drawing for like half a year), plus I have a lot of chronic health issues and ADHD so that makes it hard for me to be consistent with anything at all, and I also like don't really care about having a lot of followers anyway? I am imperfect and impulsive and not always the best at articulating myself and even when I try I tend to get more people angry at me based on misunderstanding than anything else, so like being "famous" genuinely sounds exhausting even if I could potentially make money or whatever. I'm very happy to be a weird little furry twitch streamer who makes art and posts funny memes sometimes, and if people wanna stick around for that they are welcome to, and if they aren't oh well, that's fine too.

Anyway yeah sorry for rambling I am also verbose to a fault. Also to anyone else who sees this pls don't think I'm like talking myself down, I know I'm funny and I'm happy to make friends and know that people like actually enjoy having me around lol but yeah TL;DR from my perspective I'm not tumblr famous and tbh I don't mind it staying that way. Other people might feel differently, so it's really up to you to decide.

[enruiinas]

What is something you want people to know right away about yourself?

        Anxious Munday Meme! // accepting!

     Okay, since I've already talked about how I want to help my RP partners as much as I can, and how I understand that the brain is messy and a lot of us are... really freaking anxious, I'm going to do something that's really difficult for me. I'm going to be upfront about something that would be helpful for me.

     At the end of the day, most of my excessive anxiety comes from not knowing where I stand with people. I operate under the assumption that if you're following me, you've read and understood my rules & have that no pressure mindset I'm most comfortable with - but. There is a particular anxiety-soothing magic in being told outright "Hey, I read these things, and I want you to know I 100% get it." Or even "this is all really great, but one request for me personally - I'm not big on meme spam". It's okay if we're not 100% on everything! There's no bigger comfort to me than being explicitly told what kind of interaction you're looking for/would like to have out of our mutual status.

     This is why I feel so strongly about interest trackers. To me, a mun filling out my interest tracker is the most outright way you can say "Hey, I see you, I know these things, I still want to write with you, here are the things I'm okay with." You are giving me permission to be myself and letting me know that I am someone you want to talk to. That said, I no longer have an interest tracker, because I know they annoy a lot of people (I don't think that's personal, I just think people don't think to SEE interest trackers that way) and I set myself up for being discouraged every single time I post it. I don't say that to guilt people - I think it's more my fault, because I'm not great at outright saying, "This would really help my anxiety and let me be the best RP partner I can be". In my head it becomes "nobody filled it out because I am exhausting and not worth a couple of minutes" - and I know that's not true, but again. Brains. Rude.

     Knowing how I get in my head and hurt my own feelings, it's probably in my best interest not to bring it back/set myself up for that. What I will do instead is list some questions I generally have/would like to know about people that could help me be a slightly less anxious mun - in case anyone ever does feel like something is off and wants to give me that explicit permission to interact. You don't have to answer all of them. Hell, you don't have to answer any of them. But if you feel like we could have a better connection or I could be a better writing partner to you, I think these could help any anxiety issues I'M having to make it that way.

Do you want to write with me? (I know it seems silly and should be obvious, but yes, sometimes if we've had a shy start or haven't found our footing yet or just whatever, just being told someone wants to write with me, well - there's not a lot of issues that can't solve.)

Do you want to talk OOC (either about RP stuff, or real life stuff, or both.)?

Do you prefer one ongoing interaction, a "few" (like, up to 5?) or many? (5+ - BRING THEM ALL).

What kind of dynamic are you interested in exploring between our muses? What kind of threads (genre, canon or AU, etc) do you enjoy or not enjoy?

Is who I am as a roleplayer going to hurt or upset you? Things like: Being slow with replies (I don't put a timeline on them. Sometimes I reply to stuff instantly, sometimes it takes me 6 months to get an idea for something - this is why I like lots of interactions/options.) Replying out of order. The fact that I struggle with silly/lighthearted stuff and have to be in just the right rare mindset to do them because I don't have a funny bone in my body. Occasional hyperfixations on certain threads. A tendency to favor replies for my affiliates when my time is limited, because those are the ones I know best OOC and I know they understand me, so yeah. They're easier to reply to - they've given me that permission to be Saro. Sometimes posting memes, meme calls, or starter calls even if I'm already behind on things. Liking meme or starter calls even if I'm already behind on things. Enjoying receiving and sending meme spam. Some of these are not things I can or will change. I will never commit to being a fast replier, responding within a certain time frame, or replying in order. I can't. So it may turn out that one or some of these things are deal breakers for us and that's okay. I'd just rather be upfront about it both ways. Some of these things are not dealbreakers, and just useful for me to know. If you don't like meme spam, okay. I won't meme spam you. If you don't want me to like your inbox calls if I owe you stuff already, totally get that. I just need to know what I should or should not overthink with someone to truly get to know and be comfortable with them!

[tennythemany]

The Talk

Alright I've been dodging the topic for months now, and I did make this tumblr account to vent it out, but let's talk about why I've stopped posting on the tenpenny account

• Burnout, Identity, Elves vs Ducks

The slow but insidious reason. I've been gposing for about 2 years when I stopped in Feb, and I've been rummaging through my glam dresser everyday to make new outfits for my Elezen. It's what I started gposing for (making cute elf glams), and why I continue to play the game.

But sometime in 2022, that changed. Tried anam for the first time. Started making my own poses. Then I got a hit post. I saw more likes and views. I saw growth, and then I got ambitious. I tried making bigger posts, I read tutorials, I leveraged on my years of knowledge on memes, and I. Made. Memes. That's when things really took off.

That's also around the time I started noticing something. If I put the duck in my posts, I'd get more likes on that post. The duck became a recurring character in my posts. But then people started caring more about the duck than the elf, replies became more about the duck, and that was something I *really* didn't want. People wanted to see the duck. I put it in when I was having a hard time coming up with new ideas. Watch the duck post get more likes than the elf posts. Watch my heart sink.

While gposing would never not be fun for me, at some point I felt like I was posting more for likes than for myself. That feeling never really went away, and so it stayed long past Feb 2023

• The GShade incident

Y'all may remember a little incident at the start of 2023 that got the ffxiv community very plus not-good mad. Not going into details, but a small outcome of that incident resulted in some tangentially related creators to be lumped into that mess.

People wanted blood, and the creators basically got cancelled out of existence along with GShade's creator. Somewhere in that firing line, someone I supported and admired was targeted, and through some *very* shallow accusations, they were hit too.

(And no, I won't be naming anyone)

That event made me realize two very important things:

Years of goodwill and hard work can be undone in a single week if people believe you to be evil

I fucking hate X (formerly twitter)

So that was it. I didn't want to continuing doing something that can forever undermine my work in the heat of the moment, and I've developed a newfound hate for twitter and the mob justice the site perpetuated.

So I left.

(But just the main account, I do whatever I want on Tenny)

• Making a joke is hard when you're sad

So most of you might know me for my memes. A large part of me is driven by the positive reception you've given me, and I'll be eternally grateful for all your support, but that changed when all the above happened.

I've been agonizing over how I feel about all this, and scrolling through X (formerly twitter) just made me feel worse. I couldn't wring a good joke out of me. I couldn't make other people laugh when I couldn't make myself laugh. I didn't *want* to make when some of the people involved were my followers either.

So I stopped.

• The ever creeping shadow of age

I'm 34 this year. I've spent a lot of time on FFXIV, and to be honest, not much else. I don't have a significant other, and I don't do anything but play video games and occasionally hang out with friends for tabletop games. I've got a few projects outside of gposing, but they've been dead in the water for years.

Gposing and making memes take time. It's about 2-3 hours on average to make one, and that's if I already have a set piece ready. It's another hour to look around locations in-game, or who knows how many hours if I'm building my own. Because of work, that sometimes means I have to gpose late at night. Because of gaming, that means I *always* have to gpose late at night. I've been gposing late till 1-3am consistently in 2022, and my sleep schedule is all out of whack because of it.

I *really* don't want gposing to be my legacy.

Gposing comes to me at an opportunity cost. I've still got a few good years left in me, but at some point I need to start thinking about what I want to do, be it saving for retirement, pursuing a passion I've been putting off, or just any plan for the future at all. Maybe I'll finally put my gamedev knowledge to use, maybe I'll delve into the VR scene, maybe I'll learn how to make videos like the young me always wanted to.

But that meant I need to put less time into gposing.

So, the events of the points above was a good opportunity for me to suspend my activities and give myself some time to think about what I want to do in the future. It was clear I needed a break, and I needed a clear head to think things through. Come up with my five-year plan, so to speak. I'm thinking hard about what I want to do in the future.

I'm thinking real hard.

*Real* hard.

(Don't look at my playtime for Armored Core 6)

• Wow, video games are becoming really fun

I don't doubt ffxiv will be my forever game, and I'm glad YoshiP and team have made it so you don't have to play everyday, but holy hell have you seen how many good games have come out over the last 6 years I can't be playing ffxiv all the time you can't make me

Ehem.

Before gposing, video games will always be my main hobby. I have a vested interest in where video games are going, and ho boy are they getting interesting. I can't keep up with all the new terms we're coming up for them, from systemic games to survivor-likes, to Genshin clones being a thing. It's just an ever-changing landscape.

VR gaming is real, we're actually getting a full game from full-priced games, you don't even need to buy individual games anymore, you can play them on a game streaming service, and it's easier to make your own games now more than ever.

Just, wow.

I'd really like to experience all that for myself, so for the past 7 months, I've been playing other games.

A *lot* of other games.

And the biggest thing I've learned through all that is there's a vast and much wider world out there than just the ffxiv community and oh my god what the fuck is the gaming community outside of ffxiv why is it so toxic i can't even-

I'll still be playing ffxiv. Just a lot less. Some things are just irreplacable, y'know?

So there, if you've been wondering where I've been (or where all the memes are), that's the long and long of it. Thanks for reading, and I hope that gives you a sense of where I'm at. Hopefully that covers everything, so-

• CRIPPLING IMPOSTOR SYNDROME

Oh yeah, that.

Wow, I don't know how to tell you guys this, but I am inside a self-deprecating piece of shit who when exposed to other people's work would inadvertently compare myself to them and conclude that "wow, I'm garbage".

It's no secret that I have had no formal art training, or even photography training, or even gposing training if that's a thing, a lot of what I do is self-taught. Just years of trial and error, and mimicking scenes from shows or comic panels I've seen, but I don't have any technical knowledge to know if a picture is 'right' or not. Color theory is completely alien to me before I started learning about them, I was gposing with a blue light filter so everything looked yellow on my end. I don't use mods, so I had to rely on the default models for everything I do. Let's not even talk about photoshop.

And over the years, I've been looking for gpose communities to share my work and see what other people are cooking up. I see it all. Better composition, better colors, better post processing, better poses, better backgrounds, better editing, better...everything. In my mind, everything just looks better than anything I could have done. I know I shouldn't let that get to me, but, y'know

So part of me wanted a smaller audience, somewhere I could curl up in without needing to think to myself 'oh god 3000 people are going to see this post' and think insane things like 'this isn't a 100-likes post' or whatnot. Creator thoughts. Insane thoughts. It was driving me insane.

Some part of me just wanted to post elves. The other part wouldn't 'just' let me post elves. It had to live up to what I've done before, it had to be perfect.

Now I just want to post elves.

• Final (fantasy) thoughts

So barring that last point, that's the thick and thin of it. If you read this far, then wow maybe my composition skills haven't fallen off a cliff just yet. Thank you for reading my jumbled stream of consciousness, and while Tenpenny might not be around anymore, Tenny's always around to talk about elves.

This is me, this post is about why Tenpenny is dead, and this is why I've stepped away from making memes regularly, and content creation in general.

Elezen cute.

.

.

.

Also FUCK the X (formerly Twitter) word limit, I've always hated it omg

[doctordonovan]

important psa about how this blog runs; I know I say this a lot but ! lots of new people here. I try very hard to send memes whenever I see them, but I also have a terrible memory... so occasionally I anxiety-talk myself out of sending things bc I can't remember if I have recently and I don't want to annoy anyone. if I follow you? I'm eager to write.

I very very rarely write starters, but I answer all memes as if they're starters and I try to match the vibe of what's sent, which is easier for me. anyone who fills in my interest tracker will be messaged to chat ( no pressure for anyone to already have ideas, but I find knowing what people's initial thoughts on verses / dynamics massively helpful ).

aka. yes I seem to only exist here via queue, but if I'm quiet to begin ooc it's only because I know some people don't like my chaotic chihuahua energy.

[dragonologist-phd]

For the meme! Eros 4, Storge 5, and Pragma 2 for Piper, and Philia 3, Agape 3, and Philautia 4 for Lilith?

thank you! I'll put these under a cut because they get wordy lol:

Piper

Eros 4: Do they believe in love at first sight? Have they ever developed a crush or romantic (or erotic) fixation upon a stranger based on their appearance alone?

Hmm, that's a tricky one! I think if asked, Piper would say she believes in true love- she's a bard, after all, and who doesn't love a good love song or classic romantic tale? Plus she does love the idea of it, and the whole romantic notion.

But she doesn't actually believe in it. Attraction at first sight, sure- she's experienced that plenty of times. But actual love is a lot tougher than that, and she doesn't actually trust "at first sight" feelings to last all that long

Storge 5: Is your OC able to love without necessarily needing or expecting reciprocation or reward? Or are all their relationships to some extent transactional? Have they ever loved another person unconditionally, whether a child or another adult?

As far as loving someone unconditionally, she never had anyone like that- at least, not before events of the game. She came close once, but that relationship was pretty unbalanced, and it reached the point where it was just too much and she had to end it. To that point, she does need some amount of reciprocation in her relationships; she could never bring herself to love someone who doesn't love her back.

She does eventually reach something close to unconditional love for Arueshalae, and for Woljif (platonically) as well. And when she and Arueshalae eventually have their daughters, Piper loves them unconditionally from the moment they're born.

Pragma 2: What is the biggest challenge that your OC has had to overcome in a long-term relationship or friendship? What helped them get through this?

Piper's biggest flaw with relationships is that she views them all as temporary- she's always watching for the sign that the other person is ready to move on, so that she predict it and be the one to leave first. Since she's always ready for things to end, she's able to prevent herself from getting too lost in feelings

Part of the reason she and Arue work so well is that Arue is extremely upfront in her feelings and open about her own vulnerabilities. She's earnest in her desires, and Piper is never in doubt about what Arue is thinking. It prompts Piper into slowing down and considering her own feelings with more thoughtfulness, until she acknowledges that Arue is someone she wants to stay with

Lilith

Philia 3: What qualities does your OC most value in a friend? Loyalty? Shared sense of humour? Or something else?

Lilith values sharp intelligence and capability above almost anything else. She respects people that can handle themselves, and she likes spending time with people who can keep up with her and even challenge her. It's pretty easy to see why she and regill get along so well.

Agape 3: To what extent does your OC believe in the value (or even existence) of true altruism? Do they see an unselfish concern for the welfare of others as being naïve or foolish? Or as a moral quality to which people should aspire?

Lilith doesn't put much stock in altruism. She's very much a "the ends justify means", "greater good" type of person, and she never sees much point in focusing on the plight of specific people when bigger things are happening. She has a harsh view of the world, and she doesn't allow much space for compassion without a higher motive

That said, she's not completely heartless- she has the occasional moment of wanting to help people, especially if Ember is around to talk her into it. She just always has an explanation for why that was actually the logical, pragmatic thing to do afterwards lol

Philautia 4: Which of your OC’s qualities makes them the most proud? Do they think more people should be like them in this regard? Or do they quite like being rare in possessing it?

Lilith takes a lot of pride in her mind and her resolve. She does wish more people had her intelligence, especially people she works with (and she doesn't make much secret of that). As far as resolve goes, that depends on whether people agree with her or not. People on her side should have iron resolve of course, and people against her should be easily swayed

love questions

[liskantope]

Do you every criticize the kinds of things republicans say on Facebook? Or is it a think where you never see them, therefore they must not exist, and anyone who talks about the power conservatives wield in American life must clearly be exaggerating or just lying?

Okay, so you're upset that (at least when I talk about social media posts, but also arguably on this blog in general) I clearly spend more time criticizing progressive viewpoints than conservative ones. But I feel this tone is pretty uncalled for in how aggressive and presumptive you're being by assuming I'm unaware or don't care that conservative views exist and have power.

I post from time to time about things I see on social media that annoy me. Why are they 100% of the time progressive viewpoints? Because (as you've clearly guessed), something like 99% of my Facebook newsfeed is politically liberal and progressive friends. There is no further sinister explanation required for the skew in my complaining-about-Facebook-posts posting.

I've had occasional Facebook friends over my many years there who are ultra-conservative and post conservative commentary or memes, which I start to see in maybe one- or two-year periods before I unfollow them out of irritation or they fade from my radar. Usually I just find these posts and memes completely idiotic, contrary to basic facts, and boring to engage with (e.g. one I recall is from someone upset with the move to replace Andrew Jackson with Harriet Tubman on money and justifying with "Andrew Jackson was a Founding Father"). I actually have occasionally bothered arguing with some of them on Facebook, at a higher rate than I have with liberal posts (which I feel the need to be much more cautious around, lest I get dogpiled into an exhausting debate and/or create awkwardness/risks for me professionally -- no, this is not a way of implying that only progressivism has power in the country as a whole, just that I belong to a bubble where progressivism clearly has the cultural upper hand!). The most memorable time that I did this -- in which I argued that the Democratic party's support of affirmative action is not in fact just a continuation of it being the Southern white racist party in the first half of the 20th century -- I wound up getting told repeatedly to go kill myself, so that was fun. (Not to mention I felt silly to have wasted time trying to have a reasonable, nuanced discussion with someone who, unlike many of my friends, was visibly intellectually incapable of this.) I unfollowed my Facebook friend who had posted the meme that instigated the comment thread, mainly because I resented the fact that he didn't step in when his friend suicide-baited me. Unfollowing that one guy cut my conservative Facebook post content down by like 50% or so.

I have openly admitted (more than just ultra-briefly in this link) in the context of serious, broad-reaching political discussions on here that I probably have a tendency to underestimate the power of Christian conservatism in the US because I no longer am exposed to much of it.

But that is different from holding myself to apportioning my blog content according to which ideology in the broad picture has more power or is more harmful/dangerous. That is not what my blog is for, and I resent implications that my blog (or anyone's blog) should obligatorily be calculated to reflect that. If I'm making sweeping general statements that make it sound as if I think the bad ideas floating around are mainly from progressives or implying that the greatest danger to society is progressivism or something, then you have the right to suggest that I may be deluded into thinking conservatism doesn't exist because I don't see it. If I'm just complaining about two Facebook posts that I happened to see on the same day with blue-tribe-ish outlooks that I object to, then you do not.