#i see dan and phil in 11 days though

[moonsaurora]

i’m mad about the election i’m mad about outer banks i’m still sad about liam and seunghan i’m stressed for the menendez brothers like nothing good is going on over here

[dnpbeats]

(Almost Solid) Proof That Dan Ran PhilsLion

I'm convinced that Dan was the person who ran the PhilsLion twit and I have receipts.  For anyone who doesn't know, PhilsLion is a twitter account that tweeted from the POV of Lion. It's commonly thought that this account was run by Phil. Besides the fact that he would interact with the account, there are multiple tweets that seem to be about him and dan. Unfortunately there's good reason to believe it wasn't Phil running it. HOWEVER there are many reasons that lead me to believe it was Dan who was tweeting from it, some of which is evidence based and some of which makes logical sense.

DISCLAIMER: All tweets I've included that are ostensibly about dan and phil's relationship are in reference to things that are confirmed by d&p themselves (e.g. the fact that d&p were romantically involved when they first met). I will not discuss anything that is not supposed to be public knowledge.

First let's look at when the Twitter was created. (Note: I am in UTC-8 so all screenshots will be in that time zone. I will say what time it would've been in UTC+0 (d&p's time zone) for clarity.)

Dan’s twitter account was created in May 2009. The first tweet from him (assuming he did not delete any older ones) was May 15 at 1:18pm. Presumably this is the day he got twitter.

On May 16 2009 at 3:19am Phil tweeted that he uploaded “I was kidnapped.” 

In this video he mentions his own personal twitter account, and there is an annotation of Lion saying “i want a twitter” (20sec into the video)

About 3 hours after the video was posted (6:26am UTC+0), we get the first tweet from PhilsLion (presumably this was right after the account was created)

May 16th 2009 was a Saturday. We know from Dan’s video “THE POWER NAP” that he worked at ASDA on Saturdays and Sundays from 5am-10am. So he would’ve been awake shortly after Phil posted the video. Also note that Dan presumably had an iPhone at the time (he tweeted something about iPhones in June 2009 and had no previous tweets before that about getting a new phone). He specifically tweeted in Sep 2009 about tweeting from his iPhone. Based on the fact that Dan literally showed up to work drunk and took a nap, I don’t think he is above going on twitter at work.

While this is not proof that Dan created the account, we can see that it’s definitely possible for him to have created the account. We know he would’ve been awake at the time the account was created, and it was approx. a day after he created his own twitter account, so making a twitter account would've been fresh in his mind.

We do have proof that Phil did not create the account. First, he edited the description of “I was kidnapped.” to say that someone [else] created PhilsLion:

He also tweeted May 16th (10:35am UTC+0 if that matters to anyone) basically saying the same thing as the video desc, implying that someone else made the account:

Finally in “AmazingJason” (posted May 26th) he mentions, again, “someone [else]” creating the Twitter account (about 20seconds in, the timestamp is linked). He encourages everyone to follow it and links it in the description of the video:

So unless Phil was really pushing that someone else created it even though he himself made it, it wasn’t him.

If you want to skip to Proof™ scroll down to the next photo of Phil. Before that, I’d like to debunk the 11:11/different time zone thing–I think this is the biggest reason people have claimed that the account was not run by Phil or Dan but rather some other random fan. On May 30th at 4:12pm UTC+0 and June 3rd at 4:19am UTC+0, PhilsLion tweeted about making wishes at 11:11. In order for these tweets to be made at ~11:11 local time, they would need to have been made in either UTC-5 or UTC+7. UTC-5 is US Eastern Time. UTC+7 is a time zone mainly consisting of Southeast Asia. This includes parts of Indonesia, Cambodia, Laos, Thailand, and Vietnam. I have an explanation for this, which is certainly the biggest reach of this whole thing, but it is a plausible explanation :p

It’s very possible that it was Dan who tweeted this if he was on vacation with his family at the time. We know Dan and his family have vacationed in Asia many times (at the very least they went to Thailand in 2006, India in 2010 and 2013, and Sri Lanka in 2016). So while there’s no proof (that I know of) that Dan was on vacation at this time, it’s certainly possible that he was. The location of the tweets would fit with where we know his family likes to go on holiday. Additionally, the second tweet talks about water skiing, which tends to be a fun vacation thing rather than something people do regularly (note this tweet would be at 11:19am in UTC+7)

There’s further proof that PhilsLion was not always in UTC+7. On Christmas 2009, PhilsLion tweeted “goodmorning” at 6:21am UTC+0. This would be 1:21pm in UTC+7. It makes a lot more sense for this to have been tweeted in England.

Then fast forward to January 8th 2011. PhilsLion tweets “I was up all night” at 8:05am UTC+0. This would be 3pm in UTC+7. So again, it seems that PhilsLion was not in UTC+7 at this time.

Okay, now onto much more solid evidence. First, the handwriting of PhilsLion. This is the most tangible piece of proof. On June 25th 2009 Phil posted “AmazingAlex,” where Lion can be seen behind him in one of Phil’s shoes:

Lion tweeted a photo the next day, saying “I’m on a boat :)” in reference to being in Phil’s shoe

Note that the drawing/writing does not appear in the video and therefore was done by whoever runs PhilsLion. Here is some of Dan’s writing (found in TABINOF) for comparison:

This is from the “how to draw cat whiskers” page. Notice how the As all have the crossbar quite high up, just like in the twitter picture. Additionally, the top loops in the Bs are all very skinny compared to the bottom loop. Here’s another one of Dan’s capital Bs from the blindfolded portrait page, which is similar to Lion's writing:

I’m not a handwriting analysis expert, and yes it’s different drawing on MSPaint vs. a piece of paper, but the handwriting certainly has similarities.

And now, the more circumstantial evidence, but things that seem (imo) to be too big of a coincidence to not have been written by Dan (FYI these are going to be added in order of how much of a reach they are, not chronological order, lol). First we have “I month you”:

This tweet is proposing an alternate word for “love” and ends with “I month you” (i.e. is replacing the word love with month), and was tweeted on November 19th 2009. AKA exactly a month after dan and phil met IRL for the first time.

Another one that seems very related to Dan and what we know of his situation is this tweet about “Lion’s” dad:

In Dan’s own words in BIG: “I didn’t think I could ask my family for help or share my feelings about this, mainly due to my dad. Funny guy, kind of a woke hippie who did and said a lot of things I did respect but at the same time used to walk around the house saying how he hoped someone he had a problem with at work would 'die of bum cancer.' Yep, so picked the one area to be a bigot that would further traumatize your child. Nice! This experience coming from a childhood hearing the word gay meaninglessly thrown around as an insult at home[.]” 

Note that Dan was still living at home at the time, so if this tweet was made by him, it wouldn't have meant literally “getting away.” Also, Dan was at home when this was tweeted but it was 3 days before he was going to see Phil.

Next there’s this tweet:

The “admirers” thing could be referring to anything really, but was tweeted during the time that Dan (and Phil) were in the Clipstar video contest. Also, Dan posted this dailybooth two days before this tweet, and most of the comments are just gassing him up, so lol (the pic doesn’t load but based on the comments I think it was a screenshot from his clipstar vid).

This tweet from Christmas Eve 2009. Dan and Phil were together and filming the interactive Christmas adventure:

Proof they were together if anyone needs it:

This tweet (tweeted November 26 5:45am UTC+0)

Many things to note here. The song linked is called “When I See You Again.” It’s by Dave Bullas (one of the founders of SiTC), whom d&p were/are friends with. (They had other friends who were friends with him as well. PJ has the top comment on the video.) The lyrics of the song are not really happy as they insinuate a breakup. But it’s interesting to think about them in the context of wanting to see someone who you are not able to. This tweet was 3/4 days after the “I wonder how biology…” tweet and 3 days before Dan went to see Phil.

Also, Dan just LOVES recommending music to people. He does it a lot.

(^ Proof Dan was seeing Phil on the 29th if anyone needs it)

Now a tweet exchange which doesn't technically prove anything, but I thought was curious. Phil tweeted December 29 2010 about getting a new camera:

Lion tweeted in reference to this 20 minutes later:

I find this interesting because Phil made no comment anywhere about manuals or ignoring them. So it could just be PhilsLion making schput, but a lot of the other Lion tweets are in direct reference to something Phil said/did. It would make sense if Dan ran the twitter acc and he was talking about something that he witnessed Phil do that we don’t know about. Also note “my new camera is here” vs. “phil picked up his new camera” (Lion giving more specific detail than Phil in terms of the manner in which he obtained the camera).

Some Tweets (1, 2, 3) which aren’t proof of anything but just sound like things Dan would say:

For context, this is about floods that happened in Queensland. Again, I have no way to prove Dan said this. But if you’ve ever read, like, anything Dan has said in a print interview ever or watched any of his liveshows, you know that he often tries to say stuff with superfluous/pretentious language and then ends up not making a whole lot of sense. Things that he’s said have been misconstrued so many times, or just outright don’t make sense to anyone but him. So this series of tweets checks out, if it is Dan who ran the account.

This Twitter exchange which doesn’t actually prove anything but is very sweet if it is dan who tweeted it:

The photo is a screenshot from “AmazingJason”:

Note that two weeks later (October 23) in “Life without the internet!?” Phil says the internet led to him “meeting the best friend of [his] life.” The comments all assume he is referencing Dan, but in the video he holds up Lion, so presumably that’s actually who he’s talking about. That is, unless Lion represents Dan :p

Lastly, this tweet which is a Fall Out Boy lyric, but again would be cute if it was Dan:

There's a few more tweets that are interesting to think about being from Dan but don't actually prove anything so I won't put them here lol.

So, at the end of the day, could it be some random fan* who made the twitter account? Yes. But in my opinion there isn’t really anything proving it’s not Dan. On top of that, there are enough things that fit with what we know factually about d&p now, but were not well known at the time, that make it seem much more likely that Dan ran this account vs. a random person.

*technically when the account was started, Dan himself was a random fan. So there’s that too ;)

P.S. best practice is to not interact with old tweets, so pls don't go on a retweet spree

[dajphantrash]

Day 11 of Phinktober: Your Favourite AU

I don't really read AU's but I am a heartstopper fan and it's common knowledge that heartstopper is based off Dan And Phil. And that Alice went to see Dan during WAD.

I only have thing to say though. How is Nick based off Dan. Dan is heavily like Charlie to me. But that is just my opinion.

Also, yes, I drew this one in the classic heartstopper style, but their 2024 looks and style.

Original art credit goes to @chronicintrovert

[phanfictioncatalogue]

AO3 Fics (11) Masterlist

part one, part two, part three, part four, part five, part six, part seven, part eight, part nine, part ten

a night to remember (ao3) - grievingwarwidow

Summary: roxie, who prefers the label exotic performer over stripper, is a star amongst people who are out when the sun goes down. who better for a close-minded phil who has despised what he labels as lowlifes to suddenly obsess over than Roxie himself?

aka the one where phil gets pathetically hung up on dan, better known as roxie and is desperate to get to know him better.

cat bells (ao3) - N_Chu4Ever

Summary: The catboy photoshoot, except it all goes weirdly wrong because Phil accidentally bought Dan a magic cat costume off the internet. Oops.

Chips (ao3) - philsmeatylegss

Summary: Dan struggling with the concept that all healthy couples should fight.

Charmed (ao3) - hygge

Summary: Dan doesn’t understand Valentine’s Day. That is until he’s given an anonymous card with someone’s phone number in it. It takes months of talking with this anonymous person to learn who they are, and it ends up being the person that Dan least expects.

Come Over (ao3) - Mysticallykai

Summary: Dan and Phil's relationship is beginning to bloom, but Dan is terrified to let Phil into his home so he keeps pushing him away. He however, slowly learns that Phil is someone who will make his house a home.

Based loosely off of "Come Over" By Noah Kahan

dan and philly's wet moments (ao3) - heartsopenminds

Summary: Phil loathes hiring people to come and fix stuff around the house - he never imagined that watching someone power washing a patio could be so much fun though.

Daniel Howell: The Man Behind the Clown Mask (ao3) - danhoweiis

Summary: Rising to fame in the mid-2010’s, YouTube star and self proclaimed professional internet clown, Daniel Howell has had quite the repertoire of careers, from BBC Radio 1 DJ, to author of 3 best selling books. After the success of his last two global tours, Dan is taking to the stage yet again. In an exclusive interview with GQ magazine, I was given the opportunity to follow Dan on the UK leg of his tour and see what it takes to produce a sell out show and maybe find out the key to his success.

Danisnotadom (ao3) - Sinninghowlter

Summary: Dan's not a dom. Everyone swears up and down that he is, insists he is domming his boyfriend and is too good to take it in the ass.

Phil's not a sub. Everyone thinks he is, everyone thinks his baby is in charge. What they don't know is his hardcore boyfriend is actually a princess.

domino’s pizza (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: dan can’t stop thinking about calling phil ‘daddy’ again, but his anxiety makes it feel impossible to communicate his desires with phil. but phil always knows when something’s up, and dan can’t bear to keep things from him.

Electronics and the Phil’s that break them (ao3) - Fictropes

Summary: The first time’s an accident, a proper accident— a Phil forgot how to hold his cup and now he’s watching his coffee seep into his keyboard type accident.

Guilty Pleasure (ao3) - ThoughtaThought

Summary: Dan and Phil meet at a BDSM club and decide to play. Dan is a rigger and a masochist. Phil is a sadist and a rope bunny. It’s perfect.

hard launch at last (ao3) - calvinahobbes

Summary: “Maybe the exact right moment won’t ever present itself.” Dan can feel himself hurtling towards some cosmic revelation as they stand here on a sandy beach in Portugal, the ocean bringing out the blue in Phil’s eyes.

hard times, baby (ao3) - queerofcups

Summary: For some people, their jumps came with a task. Figure it out, finish it and your past self would just fade away. That's not Dan. He's not sure why his past self is here. But he's got some theories.

I Don't Love You (ao3) - Raspberrysaxophone

Summary: Dan and Phil work in an office and are (unfortunately) sharing a desk. Phil is often away on business or working from home so they are never there at the same time. They both get frustrated with how the other one organises the shared space and tell each other that through notes

- or -

Dan and Phil hate each other, but soon Dan realises that he is developing a crush on him. What will a New York business trip (where they are sharing a room xxx) do to their relationship?

Knight of Wands (ao3) - dapg_otmebytheballs

Summary: Dan does not believe in fate and destiny and fortune-telling. Dan finds the idea of fortune-telling at the same time exciting and terrifying. He definitely doesn’t believe in it though. But he’s starting to have doubts.

OR

Dan watches Phil do tarot readings and learns something about fate.

knight of wands (ao3) - dizzy

Summary: Some days are just boring.

(And some aren't.)

Neighbourly Nook (ao3) - wednesday_ukiru

Summary: The stranger had a dimple on his cheek that appeared when he laughed.

“I’m Dan,” he said, extending his hand. Phil reached for it with extreme eagerness, their knuckles knocking together in a particularly painful way, and they both winced, but Dan immediately broke into a smile. “I don’t know why I offered you a handshake, I never know how to do them.”

nylon is for delicate work (ao3) - Anonymous

Summary: A forensic linguist meets a lawyer in Rawtenstall.

Sunshine on the street at the parade (ao3) - ForeverJustAnEmoKidAtHeart

Summary: Dan and Phil meet at a Pride Parade.

The Philver Scream (ao3) - UnorthodoxSavvy

Summary: While Dan's career in the FBI is taking off, Phil is left behind to pick up the pieces of his life after his brother's death. However, he finds himself plagued by strange nightmares that he can't explain. Soon, people around him start dying. Can Dan and Phil's partnership survive the mounting body count?

'tis the damn season (ao3) - pasteldanhowells

Summary: Dan is the coffee shop regular at the shop Phil just started working at. Phil quickly learns that Dan is a bit of a Grinch who refuses to try the shops' holiday drinks, or anything new really. Phil's determined to change Dan's mind about the holiday drinks.

to let the light in (ao3) - cityofphanchester

Summary: Searching for a fresh start after a decade of dead ends in London, Dan becomes obsessed with a storytelling show on Rossendale Radio and a voice that hasn't been broadcast in years.

Two Man Team (ao3) - Nefertiti1052 (Succubusphan)

Summary: This is the story of two struggling friends who after many trials and tribulations find their way back to each other and build the life they've always dreamed of.

Or how Phil changed his life by talking to random strangers on the internet.

Wagon Wheel (ao3) - SylvesterLester

Summary: Is there enough room in Wagon Wheel for Phil's saloon and Sheriff Howell's city-slickin' ways?

when it feels like nothing else matter, will you put your arms around me? (ao3) - commonemergency

Summary: “Sorry.” Phil says.

His father wraps his arms around him, and the embrace feels warm. It’s an embrace that he hasn’t felt in a long time. It’s like when he was a kid and something scary happened and his father just held him like nothing could ever hurt him because his father was there protecting him.

“It’s okay.” His father quietly whispers into his hairline. “It’s okay.”

He didn’t know how to tell him all the things that he wanted to say, like: I don’t know how to stop my thoughts from spiralling out of control. What if the medicine makes it worse? What do we do if things don’t get better? How do I live in a world that doesn’t have my dad in it?

“Let’s just enjoy right now.” His father says, and he doesn’t let go of him.

"You look at my face a lot" (ao3) - natigail

Summary: Phil has a pretty new eyebrow slit but Dan decides that he could use a little make-up to highlight it. They end up in bed with Dan hovering close to Phil's face trying to do a good job while he's also trying not to ravish him or get (too) sappy.

your love is my drug (ao3) - antiadvil

Summary: Phil wakes up with a migraine.

[wanderingblindly]

20 questions for fic writers - from the ever incredible @like-pilot-lights!!!!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

12! Although I've purged this account multiple times, so god only knows how many there used to be.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

84,147!

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Currently just Formula 1, but my history is... questionable. (Dan and Phil, The Amazing Spiderman, Visual Kei)

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? -

Is It Gay to Watch Your Teammate on Tiktok? (Landoscar) - genuinely had no idea this would garner so much interest?????

Middle Child Syndrome (Lestappen) - with love, this fic is the bane of my existence. Pacing whomst? Embarrassing to read tbh.

Rules of Engagement (Lestappen) - domestic fluff, my beloved!

Second Time's the Charm (Lestappen) - idiots in love, my beloved!

All The Stars We Cannot See (Lestappen) - this holds a fond place in my heart

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Always! The neglected youngest child in me craves validation like no other lol. Plus, I like the feeling of community it gives, especially when I see the same people in multiple works ^^

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I am a spineless worm and cannot write angst :)))))

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

uhhhhhh I'd say they're all similar? Ish? Love a "getting together" trope, man.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

No, and I've never seen hate on any F1 fic I've read! Thank god

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

No, but -- according to my old fic archives -- FIFTEEN YEAR OLD LIQUID THOUGHT SHE COULD???? WHY????

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I haven't! Though my gf and I have a running joke of a Yuri on Ice!!! x F1 crossover

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

No one's had bad enough taste to claim mine as theirs lol

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes!!! It's still on my AO3 lol, but someone translated one of my Amazing Spiderman fics into Mandarin (it haunts me)

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? no, although

Not formally, but @like-pilot-lights and I basically spam each other in chat until we find the plot so... she's basically my co-author on everything lmao

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

Sebchal was my first F1 love, and therefore will always have a special place in my heart. That said, I think it would be a tie between sebson and sewis? Sebastian is the common denominator, as always, and there's something about... them seeing him grow from red bull to ferrari, the trust and respect? I can't articulate it but god I love them.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

oop the sequel to Second Time's the Charm has been in my drafts for.... ages.... and for some reason just won't come to me. I'll never say I won't finish it though, the idea could hit at any time!

I've also had a lestappen twitch streamer AU in my drafts for ages, but I can't seem to nail down the tone? The characterization, maybe.

16. What are your writing strengths?

If I'm honest, I'm not entirely sure? I don't think I'm consistent enough in my writing to have any strengths. I guess my writing occasionally has a pretty specific style to it, so maybe 'stylizing'? If that's a strength?

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I :) cannot :) shut :) up :)

Probably pacing as a result of my obsessive exposition dumping. I also frequently get arrested by the "he wouldn't fucking say that" police tbh.

Oh, and I'm trying to break the habit of writing in a way that sounds good in my very specific mental inflection, which often doesn't translate well when someone else reads it. That's a hard habit to break.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I don't mind it if it has a thematic purpose, but just for funsies? I don't see the value add

19. First fandom you wrote for?

... Visual Kei ... the GazettE had content on livejournal back in the day

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

Although I don't think it's my best fic, I have a soft spot for The Sum of Our Parts (sebchal). It was my second fic in the fandom, and it was the piece where I felt like I found my personal tone.

It was also the moment where I proved to myself that I could write more than one fic, that I could still come up with ideas like when I was younger. It was a very... solidifying experience, if that makes sense?

I'm thankful to that fic, despite all its flaws.

I think everyone I know has been tagged? Throwing a few people out there though, zero stress if you don't wanna do it <333 @felixsaysstuff @jennarations @f1-giuki @lattesqueeze

[philsmeatylegss]

aaa sorry hopefully you're okay with people responding to your rambles (your most recent one that talks about suicide). just wanted to say i'm very very proud of you for healing and i can relate to your post.

hopefully you are okay with me sharing this story but im a young phannie, im 15, and i found them when i was 11 which was a few months before quarantine hit. extremely long story short, for me 11-13 years old were the scariest years of my life and i don't think anything will ever come close to that again (thank god). that's when i used to rely heavily on dan and phil videos (mostly phil). like i just have so many memories of like i don't know, being on a road trip with my family and being completely out of my mind but i would turn on an amazingphil video or a song that amazingphil mentioned and desperately try to immerse myself into that rather than my thoughts. now that i'm 15 (which is like. unbelievable honestly) i see their content on my feed but i rarely ever engage anymore, and when i do it feels like making my inner child happy. it's weird to think that something i held very close to me and that kept me above water for so long belongs in the past now along with really deep trauma. even if i ever get back into binging phil's videos (i probably will because man he is so nostalgic to watch and i just love him) i'm sure i will never engage with them the way i used to, because i'm simply not the same person. it's sad and also really euphoric and healing at the same time to watch yourself let go. anyways that's my 3am rant lol (i have yet to lose younger me's sleep schedule) thank you for listening and please have a wonderful day/night ❤️

I literally relate so hard to this and it’s really comforting to hear similar stories to mine. I fucking hate when people dismiss mental illness if the person is <14. Ages 12-14 were truly the most terrifying years of my life where I truly believed I would not be able to keep living. I’m very thankful I was surrounded by people who took it seriously so I was able to get help early on. But it’s so important to recognize the little things that also got us through. I know there’s a lot of people who roll their eyes when you say this musician or content creator or actor or whatever saved my life and that’s because people take it too literal. I do credit dan and phil and twenty one pilots with saving my life. Obviously, it wasn’t just that. It was years of therapy and medication and healing, but their content, what they brought into my life, was something I needed to hold on to. It gave me motivation. It was a distraction from pain that wasn’t harmful to myself. I connected with people who I truly felt understood me. And that’s something I needed during that period of my life. Now that I’m older and developed a personality and I’m so far from where I was, I don’t need to be obsessive because I don’t need a constant healthy distraction to get me through life. I can just be a regular fan. And still enjoy that little rush of joy I get when they upload. It’s such a unique experience that, though I am so sad people can relate to, is so important and interesting to discuss. I often joke about being suicidal and really mentally ill at a really young age and I know a lot of others do too. And that’s okay, but it truly is important to congratulate yourself for still sticking around. Even if you are still depressed or unhealthy. And it’s okay to have motivations like being a fan to keep you happy and to keep you going. It’s also okay if you’re getting older and you want to let go a little bit. You don’t have to completely abandon it. I know I’m so fucking far from abandoning dnp and 21p. But it’s okay to not be as obsessive as you were. It’s a sign you’ve grown up. You’ve healed. I appreciate so much what dnp and 21p did for me and I still remain a loyal fan, but it’s okay for me to let go because I can live without needing them. Being suicidal at such a young age is a very specific, tragic experience that you can only understand if you went through it. That’s why it’s hard to discuss topics like this without sounding batshit crazy. But I’m glad some of us are here talking about it.

[yesitssam]

Time for me to infodump about my fanon sons. (OP Hope you're okay with all this information I have had this for MONTHS I must share I'm so sorry I have so much information)

SO. In total there are about 18/19 JseEgos - with some being a tad more sketchy than others in canonity, however, I'm pulling this from my 'database' which is running on the logic of: 'An ego is a character played by the Youtuber [JSE] WITH the added or pre-establishment of community involvement - NO MATTER HOW SMALL'.

The Egos for JSE are all here (besides one of The Twins & 'Greg' who may be their brother or just their cameraman?)

Obviously Marvin, Henrik, JBM, JJ, Anti, Chase and Robbie are well known, however the others apparently aren't???

Anyways.

Shawn Flynn is originally the Bendy & The Ink Machine videogame in which he is in a short voice note [Video on it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HGF5BuAaXGc]

Angus the Survival Hunter is from a video series Jack did 11 years ago where he went through different videogames like minecraft & Man Vs Wild. I've also seen people referring to his last name as 'Irwin', but idk the canonity of that. [Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oYBfZDSMvmw&list=PLMBYlcH3smRwX3IB-XWXxgD_8TBWeWzOT]

S34N was created when Jack met Bryan Dechart & his wife and they dressed him up as Connor from Detroit Become Human

Bingsepticeye was created in a response to Googleiplier - he was never played by Jack, but I did see some epic fanart of him back in the day and I love him so he counts. Nowadays there's not much, but I feel a few of us are dragging him back to life lmao

Jaques Septique is the artist character that Jack plays for the entire run of the game 'Passpartout' [Link:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HI2axaacGEI&list=PLMBYlcH3smRz3VVhfwbN4IWlzWcUJo4-R]

The Twins (& Greg) are the characters used often for Jack's kinda 'advertisement' videos. They're weird ones, and I never really considered them as Egos, however apparently they count. Greg is their cameraman who shoots the videos.

C!Jacksepticeye is....Jacksepticeye. He is the 'canon' version of Jack who is 'killed' by anti during KILL JACKSEPTICEYE - And though he has stated to be dead and not in the canon anymore by Jack, the community has kinda refuted that.

Marcus Brickly is the same as Sean, as in he is a cameo in the game Poppy Playtime - however with Marcus we get more of a design as he is seen in video, instead of just a voice as Shawn is

'The Priest' is the character played by Sean in Dan and Phil's 'Saying Goodbye Forever' video on their games channel. He also may have SOME connection to jack's playthrough of the Faith games, but I'm unsure on the decision on this. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sYO30KpiVEo]

Sam Septiceye is the channel mascot - the little eye you see!!

There's also a few others I'm researching to try see the 'canonity' of (Dr. Jacksepticeye, the robot from the Monster Dating game, ect) but these are the ones I'm sure of

jasegos wild west au

i think they deserve to be rootin' and tootin'

most of them would live in a tiny drifter town in the middle of no where

namely jackie, jameson, henrik, and robbie

jackie would obviously be the sheriff. he was kinda just... assigned by the couple regulars in the town cuz he actually bothered to stand up to anyone trying to cause trouble

jameson runs the local bar/motel (bar downstairs, rooms to stay in for a couple nights upstairs), having come from britain to the us for... y'know, he never said. but everyone who regularly stays in the town loves him and actually bothered to learn bsl to understand what he says. and while fights aren't allowed in his bar, he will happily punch and toss out any patrons trying to start something

henrik's the town doctor. he came to the us after earning his doctorate in the hopes of becoming a well known doctor up north. but after getting on the entirely wrong train because the person selling him his ticket couldn't understand him due to his accent, he was kinda just forced to settle down in town. the hardest part was getting used to the dirt and dust everywhere after living in a city for so long

robbie's the local undertaker. he's mute like jameson (although he primarily speaks asl), though never really communicates that much, preferring to just keep to himself and the graves

marvin's a travelling merchant that likes to stop in town every couple of months. he claims it's because going through town is the quickest way to get home, but most everyone who's seen him knows he just sleeps in his wagon. and besides, they've seen the looks he gives towards their sheriff...

chase is an outlaw who comes to town one day after running from the law for so long. he was found in his home where his wife and child were found dead and he had blood on his hands, as well as a just fired pistol laying on the floor. he swears he didn't kill them, but also remembers nothing from during the time where the murders would've taken place. apparently him and his family were perfectly fine one second, and the next he's staring at his wife and child's bodies. of course the police didn't buy that, and he's been running ever since. but he can never shake the feeling that something really, really bad has been following him since

[feelingofcontent]

DNP Rewatch: Something we want to tell you!

Date video was published: 01/04/2021 (X)

DNP Main Channel Rewatch: 434

The first true joint video since PINOF 10. When Phil announced Dan as the final Stereo guest (1, 2), it really shouldn’t have been that much of a shock, but I didn’t actually believe he would be until it happened.

0:06 - just seeing Dan’s huge smile in the preview bit... 😭

0:30 -  the ‘afterparty’ show! that one was really fun too. they must have made bank from the first one to do this additional one so quickly, and then to end up planning even more with Stereo

0:38 - the classic Phil hide-the-guest thing

0:43 - Phil immediately looks so happy to have Dan there

1:18 - and Dan has sweater paws right away

1:26 - Phil forgets about looking at the camera a lot in this video and looks more comfortable then in any of the other Stereo shows, even the one with Martyn

1:53 - why did Dan think ‘penis’ was a swear?! Phil does not bleep that usually

2:09 - Phil left in a lot more full-frame clips without the Stereo sidebar in this one than in the other Stereo shows

2:32 - less than ideal circumstances for sure, but this was the first time DNP had ever spent Christmas Day together. and Dan had shared a couple of photos (1, 2) 😭

2:37 - still not over Phil getting Dan this bear jumper. that also goes with the branding of YWGTTN

3:07 - Phil liked the long hair!

3:41 - I had missed Dan’s facial expression reactions so much

3:48 - “Danny” the first of a couple just in this

3:52 - “this is how well I know Phil” Dan is still so proud that he knows Phil the best...Phil trash #1 indeed

4:28 - I remember having bath pearls as a child!

4:40 - why did Dan lick his lips and raise an eyebrow there

5:00 -  Dan is trying so hard to not be amused but failing. it was indeed one of Phil’s draft tweets

5:45 - that does sound exactly like something Phil would do...to be fair, I was wiping down packages with disinfectant too. although not fresh fruit...

6:11 - Phil has no idea where this is going. Dan must have been saving up this story for YEARS

6:16 - ...and then Phil realizes 😂 and the Dan eyebrow raise

6:44 - sees the look on Dan’s face and can’t hold it together

6:50 - oh Phil 😂 I bet when this happened Phil immediately came from getting the delivery at the door and told Dan this story

7:08 - the zoom in on the editing so we can’t miss the “top that...literally” from Dan

8:04 - “lick me” alrighty there Dan...I’m not sure Phil’s made it any better with the goose thing

8:34 - Dan’s exaggerated sad face but then his real one right after...this must have been so hard for Phil

8:48 - even back in April 2020, Dan’s projects were already being shuffled around 😕

9:04 - Phil is so excited for Dan! he wants to spoil things so bad

9:21 - it really seemed like Dan could not wait to get to this announcement. they were so excited!

9:36 - Phil’s smile is so big! 🥺

9:46 - hmmm, Phil talked about this story in The Scary Reason I Didn’t Buy A House, but he made it sound like they were thinking of buying a house to flip, not live in

10:01 - SO long working on the house. but now they’re in it and they seem so happy and any talk of the forever home still just makes me 😭

10:12 - and the first new house picture they showed!

10:34 - still can’t believe their original plan was to both move and come out in the middle of the tour. though I wonder if those two things were somewhat tied together for them, and when they found out they weren’t moving that year, it took off some of the pressure to come out then

10:46 - that is a lot of boxes and not a lot of space to live with for what ended up being 6-ish months

10:52 - ah, candid Dan photo!

11:13 - I’m glad they want their privacy, but I would still love love love to know some of the design decisions they made. I’m with Dan on the reasons for liking house tours

12:17 - Dan’s mind has gone...somewhere 👀

12:22 - Dan had talked about this D&D game in a live show in 2017, actually. minus the gay bit

13:18 - Phil pulling his sleeves down into sweater paws too

13:28 - we still haven’t seen much of the green wall! a bit in some Phil shorts and this picture shortly after they moved in

13:34 - “a desk” way to share something exciting Dan 😂

13:50 - of course Dan was attached to Steve and Scraggy too

14:03 - and apparently they are getting updates from the person who lives there now!

14:23 - they’re not seeing Steve at this point even though they haven’t fully moved, since they were just living in the ‘filming’ flat

14:39 - still don’t know exactly where Dan was going here but it was a lot. pretty sure his general point may have been ‘don’t expect our lives to move that fast’

15:19 - they didn’t announce that Norman had died until later in January, but it’s hard to tell if he was still alive at this point or not

15:44 - “you can’t be afraid to live and love” Dan 😭

15:57 - I can’t believe they almost did this and got a dog! Dog when?! they mentioned dogs so much in 2021, especially towards the end of the year

16:30 - clips from the last moving video 🥺 god every time I think about how many times they’ve moved together and everything I can’t handle it

17:07 - they really were giving all the updates at once here

17:29 - Phil does not want to share his plans! also he definitely almost said “everyone’s more worried about you” but switched it to “wondering”

17:56 - Phil just watching Dan fondly as he talks about all this

18:30 - unplanned segment! good on Phil for coming up with that one

18:40 - I am still obsessed with this clip of Dan dabbing on their balcony. just...why?! neither of them are normal (fond)

19:01 - Dan is just so nice and appreciative in this video

19:20 - Phil editing the “sexy” music over the picture...what even. and then saying “it’s a very sexy pose” 👀

19:29 - still cannot believe they discussed this photo. and Phil cut out some of the discussion for the video! it was even longer in the live show.  I mean, they succeeded with the nipple coverage I guess

19:39 - “this was not a sexy moment” jesus christ this whole bit

20:29 - laughing at them using separate bathrooms in that flat and wondering who had to climb over the boxes down the hallway of the gaming room to get to that one

21:05 - Dan’s reaction to Phil starting a sentence with “we tried to...” right after the pee discussion...WHAT did he think Phil was going to say?! 😳

21:40 - love that Phil included art for this!

21:48 - Dan did not have to do that look there

22:05 - “I like playing video games with you” and the eye contact, help 🥺

22:37 - little did we know we would get two months of “this” very soon!

23:33 - love Phil’s gentle teasing of Dan for this

23:49 - little punches from Phil. he’s excited about this story

24:33 - “Dan ass reveal” is really not a sentence I was expecting 

24:44 - both of them HATE not having full control of things. but Dan looks great with the pink background...do wish we had gotten to see the full jumpsuit though

25:14 - the contradiction of that to literally less than a minute ago when he wanted horny DMs...

25:44 - I can’t believe Phil was there because of pandemic restrictions and everything, but he’s telling this bit of the story as if he was

26:44 - that was hilarious that the had to take off the logo in that photo

27:03 - I’m so sad for Dan and for us that we still haven’t gotten this content, whatever it is

27:36 - oh Phil 🙁 he looks so disappointed talking about this. I want to see a creative solo Phil project so much!

28:20 - I’m so glad Dan at least fixed it a bit after that disaster. I would have loved to have seen Dan’s reaction to seeing it after that

28:53 - “crisis twink” Phil era when?!

29:29 - “in the Dan and Phil house” is so casual but so much

29:32 - Phil’s face as Dan puts his arm behind him...Phil definitely thought he was doing something other than fixing the cushion

30:00 - “it’s not suitable for YouTube” christ, Phil

30:10 - YouTube content, tour?, book!

30:42 - the seem to have such fond memoires of TABINOF and TATINOF

31:10 - Dan smiling so fondly at Phil doing promo for him...and the start of the majority of Dan’s 2021 promo of things being in videos on Phil’s channel 😂

31:14 - and a “this guy”

32:29 - Phil is so excited about that too! him saying “I’m the first person to read it” has the same proud energy of Dan saying “this is how well I know Phil” towards the start of this video

33:36 - “I’m hyped for you Danny” 🥺

34:13 - the full audio version is also available on YouTube thanks to In Depth Bants! (they did have some audio issues at the start since they were sitting right next to each other, but they fixed it fairly quickly)

It was just so nice to see them on camera together again. And for them to want to tell us this big news about their lives. 🥺 I don’t rewatch this video as much as the other joint videos from 2021, but it still makes me so happy.

The live show was on December 29, but it took Phil a bit of time to edit and post this one (likely because of the audio issues at the beginning). In between there, for New Year’s, they had a quiet evening at home, apparently including texting memes to each other.

[paigenoelchas-blog]

Feels Like Home

11: Punch

Warnings: language, blood.

The night was unusually warm. The late summer rain covers the pavement. The air is thick with humidity. Aurora's neon lights are inviting and I would have thought it quaint if I wasn't hearing the screams from outside.

The door is made of heavy iron, the rust showing its age. I open it jus as Jessy's auburn hair flies past me.

"Dan, what the h..." her voice breaks as she surveys the surroundings.

The bar is filled with people, yet the only voices that I can hear are Dan's and the gorgeous blonde that is holding Jake's head. I see a couple of people with their phones out recording the chaos. All eyes are on Dan as he is clearly drunk and the aggressor.

Dan may be a teddy bear but when he is drunk, he is a loose canon. He also really doesn't like Jake and always seems to try and find an excuse to pummel him. It is a good thing Jessy is here. She is the only one that he will listen to in times like these.

"She has been at home crying about you for two days and you are here with this..." Dan is screaming at Jake, his eyes full of rage. His cheeks are red and he is shaking his hand. I can't tell if he hurt himself or if he is preparing for battle.

The blonde's voice interrupts, "Watch what you say about me, you piece of shit. What the hell is your problem?"

Jessy's face was covered with tears. She had been so worried since we got the phone call. She gets close to him, "Dan, please," she begs. "Take a deep breath. Let's go outside and get some fresh air."

I meet Phil's eyes. He looks angry, but he is keeping his emotions in check. He is the boss after all. I nod at him, letting him know we can handle this.

Dan ignores Jessy for the first time. "My problem, Doll, is that your boy here was professing his love to her two days ago and now, he is hanging out with you. Don't believe anything he says. Or did you know he was screwing you both?" Jessy tugs on Dan's arm trying to convince him to go outside. He is three times her size, so this has no effect.

In the midst of the chaos, I make the mistake of actually looking at Jake. His eye is swelling and his nose is crooked and still bleeding. He looks as if he is in a state of shock. I want to be the one holding his head and comforting him. Heck, I wasn't even the one to be there when it happened. She is there, however, and she is beautiful. Her blonde hair is in pristine condition and her full lips are perfectly accentuated by the lipstick that she wears while I am wearing an "I heart the A-Team" t-shirt and a pair of fuzzy slippers and I had absolutely no time or concern for makeup. She is also clearly comfortable with him. Does he have real feelings for her, ones that he felt while we were together? Damn you, Dan, for making me doubt his character. It can't be, but it sure seems that way.

I have to stop this train of thought and focus on the issue at hand. Jake looks as though he will survive, as long as we can stop Dan from continuing to attack him.

"What did Jake do to you?" she screams with a voice that is alluring even at this moment. "He never does anything harmful to anyone." She gently helps Jake to his feet and moves closer to Dan. I am honestly worried that I may have to hold her back. She is up to Dan's chin, but she feels bigger than him somehow.

"Bullshit," Dan says. "If you don't care that he is lying to you both, fine, but he will NOT fuck around with her heart," Dan says, pointing at me. "Screwing you both is a surefire way for him to get his ass kicked." Dan is still fuming. The blonde begins rolling up her sleeves as she slips out of her heels. She is beautiful and feminine, but she looks like she can handle herself in a fight.

"He has done nothing to you or to anyone else. If you knew him..." She tries to speak calmly, but her voice is hard and tense. As I look closer I see the confidence she carries. I begin to be afraid for Dan.

Dan interrupts. " I know all that I need to know. He is an asshole that needs to be dealt with."

Finally finding my voice, I speak to him calmly, trying to diffuse the situation. "Dan, shut the hell up. He wasn't screwing me and you are out of line." I try to push him out the door with no luck. If we don't get him outside soon, things will end up even worse than they are now. Dan's eyes are still full of fire.

"Dan, please," I hear Jessy beg, there are tears in her eyes, and in her movements I can see how nervous she really is. "Phil will call the police. Come outside, we can talk." He shoves her off of him pushing her so hard she almost falls. This angers Jessy. Instead of backing off, she puffs herself up. "Daniel Theodore." she screams. "You WILL come outside now if you ever want me to speak to you again."

Dan huffs, finally looking at Jessy. He still isn't ready to talk, but his breathing has slowed. I walk between the beautiful blonde with Jake's blood still on her shirt and hold out my hand asking her to stop.

Something in her face calms when she returns to Jake's side. He has made his way to the bar where he now sits. Phil hands him a drink and ice wrapped in a towel. I am sure his eye will be black and blue by tomorrow. His nose has stopped bleeding, but there is blood on his face and on his clothes. He won't look me in the eye. I'm not sure if it is this situation or the one between the two of us.

"There is no way that I am letting that guy near you again." Dan continues looking at me this time. "You deserve better. I can't leave until I have taught him a lesson." He is calming down, and his speech is slowing, but his anger is still on the surface.

I put my hand on his chest, pushing him toward the door as I speak in the calmest voice that I can gather. Jessy is pulling his other arm. I had no idea he is this strong. "You are in the wrong here," I say to him, hoping my words sink in. "You hit him and you humiliated me in the process. Let Jessy take you home."

The woman yells as we are heading out the door. "None of this is your fucking business."

"Shut up, shut up, shut up" I mutter under my breath and give her the side eye, hoping that he didn't hear her.

"The hell it isn't, Mahri is my business." He screams back, we are almost out the door but he is slowing down, threatening to pick up the fight.

From the back of the bar, I hear Jake's voice for the first time. It is commanding and solid. "ENOUGH! Both of you!" Dan paused and backed out the door. The blonde kept silent.

I was impressed and wanted to kiss him. I wanted to kiss him and never stop.I didn't know if I would have that pleasure again. Why was he so damn hot right now?

Then I look back at the face of the beautiful woman. It softens as a knowing smile crosses her face. Jake turns around on the barstool as her arm lands on his back. I wish I knew what he was thinking or if he got my message or if he really still loved me.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

We force Dan to sit at one of the chairs outside and try to talk him down.

Jessy is mad, her temper taking over. "You are one mean drunk. You better thank the Lord that I have known you forever or I would have punched you in the face myself."

I chuckle at the thought and then remember that I am mad.

"Dan, You can't fight all of my battles for me. I appreciate your desire to protect me, but she was right..." I say and point toward the bar. My arms are somewhat frantic. All of the emotions I had to suppress earlier are taking over. "This isn't any of your business." I put my hands together and place them in my lap. They are shaking.

"Boo, I was just...:

"Don't you dare try to call me Boo right now. Jake is bleeding and hurt and I never wanted that. Stay away from him, and for now, stay away from me. I mean it." My words are confident, leaving no room for argument.

Dan hangs his head as though realizing what had actually transpired for the first time. "I'm so..." I hold my hand up telling him to stop.

"Jessy, can you take him home? Dan, do you have keys to your car?"

She nods and takes the keys, "But I am not babysitting his idiot ass all night. He is on his own."

She walks away holding her arm around his waist just in case he changes his mind and tries to go back inside.

I take in a deep breath, the fresh air clearing my mind. It has cooled down a bit, but the air is still thick and smells of rain and asphalt. The lights from the cars reflect off of the road and remind me of the night I ran to Jake.

Drifting off into memories, I sit down at the table that Dan had vacated and put my head in my hands.

After a while, my mind comes back to the real world. I know that I have to go back in there. I have to make sure things with Phil are good and I need to make sure that everything was back to normal. I also need to check in on Jake. I feel like this is my fault and I can't leave until things are settled.

I don't want to walk in and face the possibility that Jake is in there with someone else that he has feelings for.

I don't want to go in there only to realize how big of a mistake it was to let Jake go. But I must.

Head still in my hands, I feel someone tap me on the shoulder.

I look up and am surprised to see the person that is standing next to me.

[dramaphan]

Dan goes on a 12-week tour here's how it goes:

Week 1: Phil is with him yay!! See they can't be apart.

Week 2: Phil... went home?? It's fine. Time apart is healthy.

Week 3: Dan was at a subway with a cute man :/... maybe he works for Dan?? whatever.

Week 4: cute guy is named Eric... we know this because he uploaded a selfie of him and Dan and we found his Instagram page. This is fine. They keep getting lunch together though...

Week 5: Eric and Dan were at a gay club in LA...he can have friends but Dan didn't even acknowledge Phil's newest upload...

Week 6: oh cool Phil is having dinner with a friend. Good!! if Dan can have friends so can Phil.

Week 7: Bitch ass Eric has old problematic tweets. Maybe Dan doesn't know about Eric being problematic? We should tweet at him a hundred times.

Week 8: Phil posts that he's face timing Dan. Reclaim your man!!!

Week 9: omg now Phil showed up on tour he posted a selfie with Dan!! I never doubted their love!! And Eric followed him. Maybe they're all friends?? And we just learned that Eric IS an employee!!

Week 10: Phil is back home. Oh my God Eric unfollowed Phil... and he uploaded another selfie with Dan wait fuck he privated his page

Week 11: I'm not saying that Dan and Phil can't be with other people I'm just saying that you shouldn't post fanfiction of Eric and Dan in the Dan's tag when you know it's phannie's that check it!!

Week 12: Dan gave a speech about his last day on tour and he thanked his partner for supporting him. Did he mean Eric or phil?

4 months later Dan announces that he proposed to phil on Christmas and we act like we didn't have the stupidest summer of our lives months before

This is… too possible

[digital-corruption]

Eeeeep, this is long. I couldn’t figure out where to cut it in half. lol You'll just have to have a double length today.

Haunted by the Past Part 15

I groaned waking up the next morning and turned to look at the clock. 11:30. I hadn’t slept in this late in years. My body ached and it took me a while to remember why. I noticed a glass of water on the table next to the bed, which I was appreciative of. I drank it in one go.

I got up and shuffled around. I peeked through the gap of the bedroom door and saw Jake at his desk. He had pulled out three of his monitors and set them up for more intense work. He was completely absorbed in his work so I left him to it while I went to shower.

After the shower I looked over my torso half expecting to see love marks everywhere, but to my surprise I could not find any. The sudden cool draft drew my attention to Jake standing in the doorway. I turned to him as he stepped closer to me. His eyes were full of concern, but I reassured him with a tender kiss. We had reached the point in our relationship where we could communicate non-verbally.

He pulled out a phone and placed it in my hands, whispering “You’re not caged" in my ear. I looked at the new phone. I tried my old PIN. It didn’t work. I looked up at Jake then tried my birthday. No go. Jake smiled and whispered his birthday in my ear.

“When did you...?” I was puzzled.

“Someone nearby owed me a favor so I had them pick one up for me,” Jake smiled. “You did sleep in quite a bit.”

Jake had already set my new phone up to look exactly how my old one looked before the factory reset. All of the apps were back.

Jake kissed my forehead then before leaving the bathroom, he pinched my butt. I had to contort my body so I could see in the half-length mirror, but sure enough, there was the mark.

Jake spent most of the day working on his plan of attack against our pursuers. He apologetically asked me to let him work today as he felt he was falling behind on the operation. So while he worked in the main room, I lounged around in the bedroom, trying to catch up on all of the messages I had missed.

My parents were both equal parts worried as they were furious. There were a lot of accusations that they had raised me better than to knowingly get involved with an enemy of the state, followed by pleading for me to come home. So the same usual mixed messages from them.

My brother begged me to go to his place in the capital and he would accompany me in going to the police. He said his friend knew a good lawyer particularly with those charged with accessory, and aiding and abetting. He was confident that this lawyer would be able to get charges dropped against me.

Meanwhile there were countless messages from my friends in Duskwood. Even Phil was asking why my face was on a wanted poster in his bar. He said if go to Aurora he'd hide me, no questions asked. Good to know.

One thing stuck out to me though. I could suddenly see Jake’s chats as well? Did he intend for that?

Group Chat

Jake, Lilly, Hannah

Jake is online.

Jake: Whose idea was it to send Dan to us?

Hannah is online.

Hannah: Geez, you’re welcome for the food.

Lilly is online.

Lilly: Sorry, it was Dan’s. I shouldn’t have told everyone that I had helped you find accommodation.

Jake: And you told him where to find us?

Hannah: Hey, leave her alone! She was against the idea.

Jake: So he forced you? Is that what you are telling me?

Lilly: Argh, no.

Hannah: We had a vote.

Jake: YOU HAD A VOTE??? Lilly, I thought we were past that childish behavior.

Lilly: I didn’t start this one!

Hannah: No one had heard from either one of you and Lilly’s friend said you still hadn’t shown up when they closed the reception! Lilly was the only one who objected so leave her alone.

Jake: You did not need to acknowledge the vote.

Hannah: You know what, Cleo and I are NEVER baking anything for you again!

Lilly: Jake… I heard about the argument.

Hannah: What argument?

Lilly: It’s not my place to tell.

Jake: It is not.

Jake is offline.

Jake is online.

Jake: NO ONE IS TO VISIT US AGAIN LEST YOU LEAD A PSYCHOPATH TO US.

Jake is offline.

Hannah: What. Argument.

Lilly: Let’s just say Dan and Jake don’t see eye-to-eye on anything.

Lilly is offline.

Hannah: Well duh.

Hannah is offline.

The one person I didn’t expect messages from was Dan.

Dan: I know you didn’t mean what you said. Look that date with Jessy is in the past.

Dan: But I’m serious, that freak is controlling you. Get out of that relationship before he starts physically abusing you! I’ve seen it before!

Dan: If you need help, I will be there in a flash.

Dan: …

Dan: So your “boyfriend” just changed my profile picture to the Proud Boys logo. Is that the best he can do?

Dan: And now he’s locked me out of my email!

Dan: Fuck you, Jake!

I couldn’t help but laugh, so I sent a quick message to Jake.

MC: Could you let Dan back in his email?

Jake is online.

Jake: I already have. ;)

MC: What have you done?

Jake: ;)

MC: Jake…

Jake is online (hidden).

MC: What does that mean?

Jake: I forgot you can see that now.

MC: Wait, you mean to say you weren’t always offline!?

Jake: :)

Jake is offline.

MC: Argh!

Jake is online.

Jake: *kiss*

Jake is offline.

I sighed and decided to should try repairing the situation with Dan.

MC: Hi

Dan: He gave you your phone back?

MC: He got me a new one. This one is better protected to hide my presence on the internet.

Dan: Sure it is.

MC: He’s unlocked your email.

Dan: I know, I have spent the entire morning unsubscribing from newsletters and websites I had never signed up for.

Dan: Look, here’s an email update from the “Over 60s Swingers Club”.

MC: You do keep insulting him when all he’s ever done is try to help. And you have basically declared him a sex fiend.

Dan: And he isn’t? You two were at it the second I left.

MC: You eavesdropped!?

Dan: The whole motel eavesdropped.

Dan: I was pissed and I hate driving pissed. It is worse than driving drunk. So no, I didn’t leave right away.

Dan: WTF! He’s changed the menus to Russian!

MC: Jake, please stop.

Dan: So mature! If you’ve got something to say you can say it to my face.

Jake: You do not want that.

Dan: CHRIST! Don’t do that!

Jake: You just said you want me to say it to your face. I am not wasting my time making a threatening video for you.

MC: Aren’t you meant to be working?

Jake: I am. Why are you talking to him?

MC: I can handle myself.

Jake: Fine. Remember, this conversation is recorded.

Dan: Yada yada yada. Get lost!

Dan: How can you live with that? He monitors everything you do like it needs to meet his approval!

MC: Um, no it doesn’t. Jake may monitor what I do, but he never passes judgement on it. Not once.

Dan: Have you tried doing something that doesn’t meet his approval yet?

MC: Why does my relationship have to meet your approval?

Dan: Ugh, fine. I won’t be holding back on the I-told-you-so later. Go reproduce like rabbits.

Dan is offline.

Jake started messaging in our private chat.

Jake: Was that meant to be an insult?

MC: Yeah, it was.

Jake: How? Are they not doing what is natural to them?

MC: They are.

Jake: Are they not happy?

MC: Well they tend to overpopulate, which causes them to starve.

Jake: Put the female on the pill. Are they not happy?

MC: I suppose they are.

Jake: How is this an insult?

MC: I don’t know.

Jake: Exactly. Do not let it bother you. Do not let him make you feel what you are doing is wrong.

MC: Jake...

Jake: Yes, beautiful?

MC: You knew last night.

Jake: That there was an animal problem outside our room? I didn’t at first, but then it made it’s presence known by expressing it’s distaste for what we were doing.

MC: Then you threw salt in the wound.

Jake: No, I decided to show that animal that you wanted it just as much as I did so it would stop thinking I was forcing you. You reacted exactly how I intended.

Jake: If it offended the animal then the animal should not have been lingering outside our private room.

MC: I'm not sure how I feel about this.

Jake: Why? Nothing we did was wrong, nor was any of it his business.

MC: Still, I feel humiliated.

Jake: I am sorry that he makes you feel that way. My intention was to get him to move on without further confrontation. He is the one who decided to take it personally.

MC: He was not the one who used me for a show.

Jake: I did nothing that I wouldn’t have otherwise done last night. I just changed the order of events.

Jake: How do you think I feel? You keep letting his opinion on our relationship matter. You know how he has always casted doubt on me. He will never approve of me or of us.

Jake: You act as if I did it for a show and then stopped. We both know we didn’t end things there.

Jake: Should I join you?

MC: No, keep working.

MC: Just...

MC: Don’t do it again.

Jake: Fine, next time I will interrupt our night to shout at the animal to move on thereby ruining the mood. He will then have won.

MC: Maybe you should just ignore him. Let him be responsible for his own decisions.

Jake: You would rather I knowingly let him eavesdrop on our affairs. I fail to see how this is different.

MC: It does not involve using me for a display of testosterone.

Jake: I didn’t...

Jake: Fine. I will ignore the rodent.

Meanwhile, Jake had initiated another chat.

Jake: I swear if you even think about hurting her self-esteem one more time I will end your social life.

Dan is online.

Dan: How? Of course you found those. MC's livelihood is way more important than my social standing.

Jake: And yet you try to drag her self-confidence through the mud.

Dan: I'm not the one deluding her.

Jake: I have done no such thing.

Dan: What? So she knew you have the call recorded? The very call that would clear her name?

Dan: You could have her cleared of all charges today. If you truly cared about her, you would’ve released it to the feds already rather continuing to risk her life.

Dan: But no, instead you're keeping her bound to you.

Jake: Doing that would separate us.

Dan: No shit.

Jake: I would not be able to protect her from the psychopath hunting her.

Dan: The rest of us could do that. Hell, I’ve got three times the muscle than you.

Jake: No, you could not even find Hannah without our help. You would not be able to stop the psychopath. You are not even prepared to do what it takes to stop him.

Dan: And when you do stop him? She deserves a normal life, not a life in a cave.

Jake is offline.

I got up and peeked through the door. Jake had his head on the desk with his hands clawing at his head. I walked over and wrapped my arms around him.

“Losing you would be the opposite of freedom,” I whispered. “I accept this life.”

Jake sighed, “I want to give you a normal life. Let you live in a normal home. See you work a normal job. Maybe even have normal kids.”

“I’m not doing any of those unless you’re there with me, and we're living it together,” I insisted.

After a while Jake lifted his head, “Then I need to get back to work so I have a chance of joining you.”

[alittledizzy]

29 Things I Love About Dan

1. That he came out to his family via email. Aspirational.

2. Dude really, really loves his grandma.

3. That one time at a book signing when the bookstore overpromised tickets and there was a dad that was really upset because his daughter had been waiting in line so long and didn't get to meet them. The dad was just shouting at Dan and Phil and everyone else was trying to just quickly walk on but Dan stopped, turned around, and talked to the dad.

4. That he's the first person to defend someone he loves in any situation where he even perceives they're being shit upon, but in the same breath will make fun of them himself. He's the epitome of older brother attitude.

5. He spends a lot of money on clothes but then he wears what he buys every single day for a span of at least a year so he does at least get his money's worth.

6. That time on vyou when someone asked him what he looks for in a girl and his answer was the ring that fell off his hand last time that he really wants back.

7. His reaction to the Phil's wife story. I still laugh thinking about Sabrina and Lola. In the process of answering that he made a remark about how Phil leaves to go with his 'real' family and sometimes that just latches itself onto my brain. There was a similar comment during the blue/gold dress debate where Phil referenced Dan in with family and it's just... like, yeah, they're in love, they're in a relationship. But they're not just partners, they are full on out and out family to each other and that Dan found that at a time when he was so scared and felt so isolated with his own family is worth everything.

8. The depth of feeling in his voice during that one "Katie, Katie, Katie... Katie, Katie, Katie. No." liveshow answer. You know the one. He was having none of that and if Katie got verbally incinerated in the process of his answering, so be it.

9. When he'd be doing a liveshow and get on a tangent and end up talking about condiments or dips for like four minutes straight.

10. The way he never minded putting someone on blast that pissed him off but knew that it bothered Phil so he would consult with Phil first sometimes but then if the situation actually involved Phil being hurt in some way all bets were off he Was naming that trainer that made Phil puke he did not Care if Phil gave him an alias for the video Kai deserved what he got for pushing Phil too far.

11. That after a decade he still wants to impress Phil's family by doing things like cleaning before they come and making them all coffee.

12. And yet still made a cake to give to Phil in front of them that talked about wanting to see Phil's ass. The duality of man is real, indeed.

13. Nicer Internet. Young Minds. Make-a-Wish. Mermaids. He only just came into his own with being charity-minded in the last few years and I don't for a second doubt he does more privately than publicly and probably has some mental spirals about using his platform vs being accused of virtue signaling. But this is just one way I love watching him find his footing in the world as an adult with privilege.

14. He introduced an important word to my personal lexicon with Haru and I'd like the rest of the world to catch on because it's just a very specific action of lying while obviously lying and pretending you aren't lying and I love it.

15. When he was fifteen he was so in his emo kid feelings that he wanted black angel wings tattooed on his back.

16. That little tune he'd hum when he was trying to space out thoughts during liveshows.

17. That somehow he beat all the odds and is best friends with the first person he subscribed to (Bryony) and in a relationship with his teenage self's favorite youtuber (Phil, obviously). Teenage Dan had a really shit time of almost everything but in that one specific 'meet your idols' area he was truly blessed with all of the luck.

18. "All I can taste is cherry, all I can smell is cherry, all I can hear is cherry and all I can feel is cherry. Can't really see much though."

19. The fact that he owned up to previous bad takes and opinions and deleted old videos and tweets.

20. Litralee.

21. They originally wanted Phil to run the board at the radio show but he did such a bad job of it after the first episode that they gave it to Dan instead, and I think for someone with zero radio work experience or training Dan did an amazing job. He may spend a lot of time doubting himself but when a spotlight is on him he's clever and confident and adapts quickly.

22. The way when he says 'at all' he still sounds like his five year old self.

23.  That he tried to run the marathon last year, and didn't, and tried again this year. When you're someone that fears judgement for your failures and knows everything you do is scrutinized by a very large audience - not just fans but people waiting for you to fail so they can report on that, too - sharing in that way seems like it would be really hard. It was shit luck that he couldn't run it this year either but I have faith he's gonna cross that finish line because the man Dan Howell has turned into goes after what he wants and fuck what anyone else thinks or expects of him.

24. That one liveshow they did without pants. You know that was Dan's idea. Phil is a respectable young man who does not go live on the internet to thousands of people in just his underwear. But Dan? Dan would. Dan does. And Dan is a terrible blerson.

25. That in a video to ten million people he said with his whole chest that his relationship with Phil made him feel safe for the first time since he was a small child. And like, yeah, sure, I'm infatuated with their relationship so it made me happy on a personal level. But beyond that; putting words to things is clearly not easy for Dan. It took him decades to acknowledge he was gay to himself. It took decades plus a little to tell his family. Sometimes it doesn't matter how much people know things, giving it a label is fucking scary and I think his fear of labeling his relationship with Phil (to the public) felt like a different kind of exposure than just his sexuality and he still faced them both.

26. He clearly has a very complicated relationship with his parents and family in general but that one story he told about being young and on holiday to Disneyland Paris and his mum is terrified of roller coasters but went on one with him like six times because she didn't want him to be alone. I'm glad through all the badness and doubt and fear he's had at how conditional his parents' love might be, that he had those good memories as well.

27. It was Dan that coined the phrase 'post-baking universe.' He's very aware of the stages of their life and his growth and he shares that self-awareness with the viewers even if he doesn't share all the depth of reasoning behind them. (He also coined the term 'phan' but in that instance I think uhh he didn't know what he was doing so.)

28. That he's learned better coping mechanisms than lashing out online. That he's got therapy now and the option for medication when he needs it. That depression doesn't go away but he knows he has options and support now.

29. He's given us almost a decade of content to watch and rewatch and enjoy and view through the different lights of his growth and our own growth, and who knows what the future will hold.

Okay, last minute addition - we'll call it one to grow on:

30. That Starcourt selfie.

[fictropes]

oh boy i sure did write many words in 2020

Hi! I am copying people due to i want to.  This is a lil (well... 63) round up of all the fics I wrote this year! Cos i’m very evil @ myself and writing fic and think i’m either not doing enough, or not doing it good enough, so i wanna full list of what I actually did so I can see my own accomplishments and can maybe... clap 4 myself for once. And honestly writing has helped MASSIVELY with my depression so.. that’s a bonus. 

ALSO. this is a big huge thankyou to everyone! I only joined here + started writing in august and you’ve all been so so nice and welcoming and supportive  <333 ;_; and I know they say write for yourself... but honestly peoples comments and excitement about my stuff has just been really, really lovely and I would never have written this much without all of you cheering me on<3. 

so here is a list of everything i’ve written, organised by length and everything, so if you find yourself bored over the holidays... have a lil browse. (Sorry if u are on mobile and this doesn’t show as a read more) 

Chaptered:

Can we try again? series (M) Complete - 35k  - “Yeah, Phil. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Dan answers, softer than he’d wanted because he already knows what he’s about to do next.(or Dan doesn't turn up in 2009 and bumps into Phil 11 years later at a youtube convention 2. I like cupcakes, especially the gay variety (M) Complete - 30k - Firstly, Dan was 29. How was that a mature student?Secondly, his actual book was on the university fucking syllabus.(or the one in which Dan tries university again in a desperate attempt to prolong his procrastination, and his lecturer Phil is apparently something of a fan) 3. 7 Letters series (M) Complete - 9k - Your penpal can be the person you live with, actually. 4. There's Beans in Here (T) Complete - 2k - Phil has his wisdom teeth removed; Phil says many questionable things. 5. Roadtrip (E) Complete - 8k - “Exactly. I am right, as always.”“As always.” Dan agrees.Series 6. night shift, please (E) Wip - 27k I PROMISE THIS WILL COME BACK IN 2021 - Ten years and he’ll never get over how early he has to get up sometimes. In all honesty he prefers the night shift. 7. Still Not Calling it Fate (M) Wip - 14k - It’s become a bit of a thing, a bit of a thing that everyone he crosses paths with takes the piss out of him for 8. when i met you, a blue rush began (M) Complete - 5k - They end up in a small restaurant overlooking the sea, everything here is so blue. The sky, the sea, Phil’s eyes, the shirt he’s wearing buttoned up all the way to the top. 9. Luggage Tags (E) Complete - 2.5k - Just because it looks like your suitcase, it doesn't necessarily mean that it is. 10. Demon in the sack (E) Complete - 2.5k - Dan’s leg jiggles beneath his desk, knee hitting the table as he tries to force himself to hang up and ring the number he was supposed to ring— he doesn’t, he can’t. Long ( for me) oneshots (3k+) 11. Electronics and the Phil's who break them (M) Complete - 9k - The first time’s an accident, a proper accident— a Phil forgot how to hold his cup and now he’s watching his coffee seep into his keyboard type accident. 12. A Letter of Specifics (T) Complete - 4k - You'll know it's your soulmate because no one else on earth could be doing what they're doing. 13. The Benefits of A Weak Floor (M) Complete - 4k - He quite literally falls through Dan’s ceiling. 14. 10:35 on a Thursday (E) Complete -  3.7k - He’s tapping his pen against the paper, acting as though he isn’t asking Phil to take a sex quiz at 10:35am on a Thursday morning. 15. 2009, catboys (T) Complete - 3.2k - “You have your own ears, can’t have four.”“Why?” 16. Wrong Room (T) Complete - 3k - “Congratulations!’’ And he was expecting to hear a cry, or at least his mother telling him to be quiet because a certain baby was sleeping. Instead he heard the deep clear of a throat, a rustling of sheets. 2k-3k oneshots 17. Dinner with a stranger (T) Complete - 2.5k - @amazingphl hi! second year of doing this, sooo if anyone has nowhere to go for Christmas dinner I am once again offering..my flat (and by extension me) ;oSeries 18. Easy Lover (M) Complete - 2.4k - ''Yeah. We're always fine.'' It was always fine. It was always easy, despite always behind hard. 19. Cold Season (M) Complete - 2k - Dan is ill, insatiable and another word beginning with I. 1k-2k oneshots 20. Morose men on rooftops (T) Complete - 1.9k - “Dunno, maybe chatting up morose men on roofs is my thing.” He laughs, and it’s a nice noise. 21. Love with tongues of fire (T) Complete - 1.7k - So when Dan waltzed into the room, declaring his hunger Phil thought nothing of it. Just another night for another takeaway. 22. Your Rocks are my Rocks (T) Complete - 1.7k - Phil wants a new rock for Norman, Dan wants a peaceful life. 23. Joint Content (M) Complete - 1.6k - It started of a as a joke— a Joint Content joke. 24. 24/7 Fantasies (M) Complete - 1.5k - He thinks about Dan 24/7, constantly in two separate fantasies 25. A Conversation in Multiple Hallways (T) Complete - 1.5k - You're still here then? 26. Sharing Space (T) Complete - 1.5k - It's 2010 and dan has had a day. 27. The Obvious (T) Complete - 1.5k - "Can I use that?” He doesn’t wait for an answer, already scrawling it beneath the only three words he currently has— I love you. 28. I'm Thinking of Ending Things (T) Complete - 1.5k - Dan hears half a conversation, jumps to one whole conclusion. 29. Love Language of the Tactile (T) Complete - 1.4k - “I’m just— that’s a hypothetical.” Dan leans in this time, takes the touches that Phil always so freely gives away. “Can’t kiss in secret rooms if I leave.” 30. Don't Let the Self-Doubt Ruin You (T) Complete - 1.3k - “I’m here.” “Yeah, you’re here.” 31. Conflict Resolution (T) Complete - 1.3k - Following recent events we’ve decided it best we take a combative approach to your current workplace issues, we have booked you into a conflict resolution class this Thursday afternoon - we will not be paying you to attend. 32. when it comes to love (i want a slow hand) (E) Complete - 1.2k - And there it is, the refusal of anything in return. This is just for Dan and it always will be. 33. You're Still The one (T) Complete - 1.1k - “What’re you thinking about?” “You.” 34. Teach Me, Dad. (T) Complete - 1k - "Do you think I could be the next Mozart?” 35. The Logistics of a Clone (M) Complete - 1k - “I don’t think that’s a clone, though, like maybe more of a Doppelgänger.” Dan doesn’t know why they’re delving so deep into this, why he’s so damn bothered about being right. “It’s just literally you.” 36. All's fair in Love and Monopoly (T) Complete - 1k - Phil does not play by the rules, Dan lets him win anyway. Under 1k oneshots 37. Hide out in your heart (E)  Complete - 0.9k - The second time Dan comes to visit it’s different. 38. Oh, there you are. (G) Complete - 0.9k - So after all this, after everything, he doesn’t think anything of it when someone else slips into his dms. 39. The Boy has Attitude (T) Complete - 0.9k - “You didn’t tell me you looked like this.”“Like what?”“This!” Phil’s waving a physical copy of the magazine in his face— so that’s where he’d been. 40. Hairties (and how not to use them) (M) Complete - 0.8k - “Why would you do that? Let us settle in, nice and slow and— gently does it.” 41. The Second Apartment. (T) Complete - 0.8k - It’s a stop-gap apartment, a we’re going to get our forever home after this. 42. Japan, 2019. (G) Complete - 0.8k - NO summary, just an obviously I was going to write this after phil's post 43. Doting Man (T) Complete - 0.7k - They’re both drunk, Phil more so— definitely more so.Series 44.  Imposter (T) Complete - 0.7k - Among us is.. a bastard. 45. Ratemyprofessors.com (M) Complete - 0.7k - ‘Maybe if that Phil bloke from the English dep he’s always staring at fucked him he’d stop being so uptight’ 46. Failed Attempts (T) Complete - 0.7k - Dan enlists the help of Phil for his latest Instagram. 47. Bonus Prize (M) Complete - 0.7k - Phil Trash Number One 48. Feels like home (G) Complete - 0.7k - Home is where the Phil is. 49. We can make Forever work (T) Complete - 0.7k - It’s a moment of realising forever may sound too much to people, but we’ll get through everything together— we don’t have any other choice. 50. Scene in the Kitchen (T) Complete - 0.7k - New place 51. 4'11 (T) Complete - 0.6k - Dan is baby 52. Pillow Imprints (T) Complete - 0.6k - Dan is a menace, and Phil loves him anyway. 53. Parachute Jacket (T) Complete - 0.5k - Dan thinks Phil is obsessed with them Those few times I thougt I was goddamn Ri**ard S*ken 54. Home (G) Complete - 0.7k - It’s their forever home, because their actual forever lives inside of it. 55. secrets spoken in empty rooms (T) Complete - 1k - So he wants to be the same, but he wants Dan more. 56. Separately Together  (T) Complete - 0.9k - Phil’s soft hands and even softer words. It gets harder to leave. Gets to the point where Dan turns off an alarm just so he misses the train. 57. It's not hard to fall (T) Complete - 0.7k - Still a little bit of your words I long to hear Some more Epistolary (apart from 7 letters)  58. A Play in One Act (T) Complete - 1.1k - [Manchester Piccadilly train-station, midday, October 19th, 2009.] 59. R/AITA (T) Complete - 0.8k - AM I THE ASSHOLE FOR MAKING MY BOYFRIEND BE A WORM?Series 60. Lonely Hearts (T) Complete - 1.8k - I will not say you were crying on the tube (out of politeness) 61. Conversations of the Lazy Kind (T) Complete - 1k - eggs? wot? Smells like eggs

[sinkix]

《What your fav Haikyuu!! Character says about you│Nekoma Edition》

Yo-hoo! Here’s another part to this potential(?) series! I hope you enjoy the possible call-outs in some of these lmao. Writers block been kicking my ass recently but I had a lot of fun writing these. Enjoy <3

You can find the Karasuno ver. here 

✧✧✧✧✧ ✧✧✧✧✧ ✧✧✧✧✧ ✧✧✧✧✧

Kuroo:

Have a hand fetish and will not say no to choking.

Daddy kink™

Will not accept anything below 6 inches.

More of a dog person but would love to own a black cat.

You drool over tattoos.

Your grades are mostly B’s but you know in your heart you deserve that A, and tbh you probably do. Chase ur goals bby.

Halloween is likely your favourite holiday.

You have to resist not to carve a dick into the pumpkin EvEry GodDAmN YeAr.

You either study for 6 hours consecutively or cannot study at all and you get very frustrated at this.

Have the potential to be a good leader and command the room but probably don’t put it to use as much as you should.

Your playlist parkours from sad 3am crying into your pillow songs to aggressive punk music you could rob a store to.

You like bad boys who hang around bars and look like they would put out a cigarette on your forearm and call you a slut. Just stating facts sweaty xoxo.

Either dress very feminine and girly with a ‘smol girl uwu’ aesthetic or a hardass punk who would kick your ass for a can of beer no in between and tbh both are equally hot.

You’re a big softie at heart either way and just want to be held and told everything will be okay.

Ur a hoe for when people stroke your hair or caress your chin it’s your ultimate weakness.

Watched Rick & Morty.

Twice.

Sleeves rolled up veiny forearms and donning a silver watch are your muse and something you fantasise about frequently.

Most of your memes are shitty top text bottom texts that are somehow funny and I don’t understand why lmao.

You call someone ‘bro’ even if it’s someone you’re immensely attracted to.

Did someone say ties? No it’s just ur dirty ass thoughts thinking about that hot business dudes attire from across the street and how you wish they were tied around ur wrists.

Probably had a crush on Jeff the Killer as a tween and are relentlessly haunted by your old Wattpad library. 

Tbh any dark-haired dude with bedhead that screams rugged and probably not good for you is something that draws you like a moth to a flame.

You often question why every person you’ve fallen for has been a Scorpio and curse that tendency of yours.

Dw man they’re hot so I feel u.

Kenma:

Went through a ‘I’m not like other __’ phase and it’s something that you think about a lot and wish you didn’t.

Watched dan & phil as a kid.

Any mention of Pokemon has you turning into a rabid beast you get way too excited.

It’s cute though dw bby.

Pretty antisocial but interesting to talk to.

Your family often question how you’re able to sleep in till 3pm and judge you heavily for it.

Nocturnal night owl gang rise up.

Frequently have bags under your eyes but somehow manage to pull it off.

Listen to ASMR on the down-low and will never admit it to a single soul.

Frequently go on BL binges and have many related book marks.

You pray that someone will never find your laptop bc holy fuck the amount of smut on that.

You wear scarves & beanies even when it isn’t that cold outside.

100% went through a scene hair phase/attempted to.

You dye your hair a lot or REALLY want to.

You have a voice kink low-key so anyone with a pleasant/soothing sounding voice just gets u goin’.

Cats are your favourite animal and you either do or want to own several.

Would name them after video game/anime characters u fuckin nerd lol.

Speaking of cats ,you fantasise heavily about cat-boys and have a folder dedicated to them.

Oversized hoodies are your vibe and always ball the sleeve hems in your fist as a comfort mechanism.

Shopping centres are your worst nightmare and trigger your claustrophobia or social anxiety and honestly I feel that spiritually.

Have a cute sticky note collection.

You like a lot of music consisting of guitar and slow/soothing beats.

You also fw EDM/ techno on occasions.

Honestly wouldn’t wanna anger you since you have a seething temper when pushed far enough.

It’s the kinda temper that’s eerily quiet but no less terrifying, like the other person can tell you are graphically plotting their demise.

You love sleeping to the sound of rainfall and often play those nature ambience videos while you sleep.

Never tidy your sheets and it’s just a big scrunched up heap of fabric in the centre of your mattress most of the time.

Make your fucking bed.

Lev:

Your ships are chaotic and shamelessly controversial.

Would do something just for the sake of creating mayhem lmao.

You were the fucker who stuck their chewing gum under the desk, I see you.

Your brain never stops whirring it’s a constant hurricane of crackhead energy and you have no idea how to turn it off. 

Would eat a stick of pencil lead for $2

You don’t help your situation with the amount of coffee/energy drinks you consume.

The class clown who cries themselves to sleep.

Such a wholesome dumbass but somehow kinda intimidating??? 

Even if you’re not confident you can do something you’ll try anyway and honestly I respect that about you.

You !! use!!! a lot??!! of!! random punctuation!!! so you always??!?!? seem!!111!! excited!!!!!11!?

Every time you’ve ever tried to make a sandcastle it has failed.

You tried to eat the sand once but we don’t talk bout that.

You would  also pick up slugs and snails and chase your friends around with them.

Can never tell whether people are laughing with you or at you and while you don’t let it show it high-key bothers you when you’re laying alone in your room at night.

Not one to hold grudges, you carry a ‘shit happens’ mentality which is v good but it sometimes leads to people taking advantage of it or walking all over you.

Your meme collection is both questionable and horrifying.

Like how many cursed images and heavily distorted pictures does one person need.

Never organise the files on your PC/laptop so it looks like a complete dumpster fire.

The one at sleepovers who persistently woke everyone else up with their snickering and refusal to sleep till dawn.

For the love of Asahi charge your damn phone.

I see that red bar and ‘12%’

Charge it now.

Bought a plant one time, gave it a name and talked to it frequently.

It died not long after bc u forgot to fucking water it.

No one better ever make you responsible for a pet.

Type of person that when someone asks you to tag along on an endeavour no matter how stupid it is you will agree.

2am skydiving in france? hell yeah.

Midnight shopping spree and spending over half your pay check? count you in.

Exploring an abandoned hospital and performing an Ouija board to summon the demons of hell? you’re damn right you’ll be there.

I hope you have a mum friend by your side bc if not how are you still alive.

You sometimes put the milk in before the cereal and it’s something I’ll never forgive you for.

Yaku:

Very responsible and usually make the right decisions.

You do have moments where you act like a complete dumbass though.

Like u go from 50 year old to 5 year old in the blink of an eye.

A hopeless romantic but it’s a side you don’t often reveal.

Prefer strawberry milk over any other flavour.

You’re the type of person to shower twice a day w/o fail.

Where that stank smell coming from? Not you clearly bc your skin is basically 90% The Body Shop’s rose scented soap at this point.

You get stomach aches a lot and you can’t figure out why.

Probably an allergy to everyone’s bs.

Really good at dirty talk even though you don’t seem the type so people are always taken aback.

You have to be really in the mood though otherwise it falls flatter than Oikawa’s ass, use your skill wisely.

You often call people clowns when you know you’re secretly the biggest one going.

Honk honk, hoe.

You send messages in one paragraph rather than multiple texts unless you are REALLY excited.

People underestimate you at times then are shocked when they realise you are capable of being a fire-breathing dragon from the flaming pits of hell.

You like spicy chicken wings.

Such a petty little shit at times lmao.

Enjoy the view from the top of mountains so you either hike a lot or really want to.

Way more of a cat person since it’s just much more convenient for you.

Usually pretty cheerful or calm and people are drawn to your stable/friendly aura.

Went through a phase of drinking mountain dew and your body still feels the awful effects

Fav element is probably air.

You’re 5′6″ or shorter.

Box dyed your hair brunette several times and can never get the pigment out to this day.

Yamamoto:

Whenever you smell something weird in the room you always internally freak out and think it’s you.

Head-butting walls is your hobby.

You fell off your bike as a kid and still have the scar on your knee.

Probably have tons of ear piercings.

Would tame a pigeon and call it Larry.

You get frequent nosebleeds and can never tell if it’s a medical issue or your extreme simping for fictional men/women.

Hopefully the latter.

You constantly chew your pen/pencil in class so you never lend them to anyone out of embarrassment.

I really hope no one ever lends you stationery bc 30 minutes later it’ll look like it was mauled by a rabid rottweiler.

You really want to own a dog and would call it something intimidating like Banshee or Diablo.

You bleached your hair that one time and it almost fell out so now you’re forced to stay at least 10 metres away from all at-home hair dye products.

You tried your best though bby so A for effort, even if it did look like dehydrated ramen afterwards.

Your grades are mostly C’s and you’re barely passing bc you just don’t care about your classes lol.

Still though you’re actually pretty smart so put it to good use you lazy oaf, channel that crackhead energy into something good.

Your phone screen has several cracks in it from when you dropped it on the bathroom floor while shitting and you’ll always be angry at yourself for that.

You have some really weird quirks but you make it work.

Actually a v chill person but you just kinda attract chaos/trouble wherever you go.

Carry a lighter with you even when you don’t need one.

Shy texter but once people see you irl you are the complete opposite, you just dk how to text without coming across as awkward.

One of those people that’s unintentionally funny and always get confused when you make someone laugh but it makes you feel good regardless.

Have a cool necklace collection and own at least one dog-tag/army style pendant.

Should really consider buying a rabbit you would look so cute w/ one.

You have really nice legs and people should compliment them more.

Either severely dehydrated or overly hydrated to the point you are peeing pure tap water so for the love of god please learn moderation, your kidneys and bladder will thank you for it.

Inuoka:

Your favourite character would be Hinata but you like people taller than you so your love for Inuoka spawned.

You really enjoy using the double spiderman meme.

Cannot correctly verbalise your feelings without creating a minimum of 10 misunderstandings but once people are used to it it’s kinda endearing.

You usually wake up in a good mood and people can never fathom how or why.

You either stay up till 5am or you wake up at that time no in between.

A morning person bc you love the sunrise.

Change your lock-screen very regularly bc you get bored.

Your humour consists solely of poop jokes.

When you don’t understand a joke you laugh anyway and hope they don’t ask you if you actually get it.

Happened once and you’re still traumatised from the cricket silence that fell upon the room.

Really like the taste of lemonade and drink it more often than you should.

Often think about what you would look like with a shaved head.

More of an extrovert but def have occasional introvert tendencies where you wanna be left tf alone.

Never allowed to pick up anything in stores bc the last time you did you sniffed a scented candle and it shattered to the floor.

Constantly have spontaneous ideas of what to change about your appearance.

You use a lot of hand gestures like thumbs up and peace signs.

‘Dude’ and ‘lmao’ is 90% of your vernacular.

Your nails are a disaster, some are down to the nub while others are pretty grown out bc you only bite a select few please sort it out.

Look really good in red.

Your laptop has way too many tabs open from random google searches of words you didn’t know the meaning to.

You read a lot of books but for like 10 minutes at a time bc you have the attention span of a walnut.

You are the type of person to nuke your AO3 tags with things that aren’t even relevant purely bc you found them funny.

Your Tumblr drafts are a nightmare, you have like 100+ in the works yet keep starting new projects why do you do this.

Happy sunshine but you have a LOT of mood swings like that shit comes out of nowhere.

Cry pretty often but no one ever sees and it’s usually because of said mood swings.

You always smile and pick yourself up again though which I commend you for.

TYPES IN CAPITALS IN SITUATIONS THAT DO NOT REQUIRE SAID PUNCTUATION SO YOU SEEM LIKE YOU’RE YELLING ALL THE TIME.

[silentdescant]

20 fic tag meme

I was tagged by @succubusphan :) gracias!

Rules: List the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20, just list them all!). See if there are any patterns. Choose your favourite opening line. Then tag 10 of your favourite authors!

I feel like this meme has made the rounds in dnp fandom already so I'll tag a few capri people: @thickenmyblood @marrieddorks @deripmaver @veretianstarburst and seriously anyone else who wants to do it, please do!

My four most recent fics are all part of the same series, so if they have similar vibes, I'm claiming it's intentional. :P Scroll down for my entirely too wordy analysis at the end.

1. hellslide: (pop star au) “I won’t be going with you this time.”

2. stuck in traffic: (pop star au) Laurent’s life is a monotony of performances. Fake smiles that feel routine. Every week and a half or so, there’s a gap in the schedule, a single day off, or maybe an entire weekend. Those days are worse, because Laurent doesn’t know what to expect, can’t prepare himself.

3. welcome to the show: (pop star au) The first time Damen meets Laurent, he nearly chokes on his own tongue. He’s seen Laurent perform; he’s been lucky enough to catch him at small venues, where Laurent played a stripped-down set without all the lights and instruments, where it was just Laurent and his voice and a three-piece band backing him. But he’s only ever seen Laurent’s stage persona, or seen him in interviews on television.

4. in the past: (pop star au) Laurent stirs cream into his tea and wishes, as he often does on cold mornings, for something stronger. There’s no alcohol in the house, though, and he’s glad that decision is out of his hands. There’s not even any coffee, but it’s okay; caffeine just makes him panic. The tea is too hot to drink, so he carries it into the bathroom, where his pills are laid out on the counter in a neat, even row.

5. Learning Truths: “Do you remember Nicaise?”

6. Summer Reunion: Laurent turns around slowly, drawing out their reunion. It’s fun to see how long Damen can go without speaking, in these moments. And sure enough, when he turns far enough to see Damen’s face, he’s a man utterly transfixed.

7. Bright Star: Laurent is too young to spar with his brother at less than half his age. He sits with his uncle and a few ladies of the court on a balcony, watching a training session below. There are soldiers down there in the sawdust, kicking up clouds of it with their rough footwork, but Laurent only has eyes for Auguste and his easy side-steps, his nimble moves around his opponent’s sword.

8. The Same Page: Stiles’s eyes are drawn to movement across the courtyard, where Scott is waving both arms frantically to get his attention. It worked, so Stiles supposes that makes up for how ridiculous he looks with his backpack hanging off one arm and a sweatshirt tossed across his shoulder. Stiles gathers his notebook and laptop bag and jogs over to him.

9. prickly: (nano 2020) Phil leans around him right when he’s in the middle of a battle and his fingers are starting to cramp up, he’s so tense on the keyboard. Phil peers closely and pretends he understands what Dan’s avatar is doing, and then turns to the side to give Dan a peck on the cheek.

10. believe it or not: (nano 2020) The rapid heartbeat Peter hears outside the door of his apartment belongs to a boy he’s never seen before, but there’s relief and recognition on his face. Peter knows a few of Derek’s friends, and even fewer of Cora’s, but he doesn’t make a habit of befriending children, so he’s mildly confused about how this kid knows him.

11. Bespoke: (nano 2020) Stiles explains awkwardly to the shop assistant at the counter that he has an appointment. She nods like this is completely normal, and Stiles supposes for this particular shop, it is normal. He’s never had clothes that required a fitting before, and it’s already clear that he’s stumbling.

12. our names on a cloud: (nano 2020) “You ever get high and read fanfiction about your characters? Superman or, or Derek or anything?”

13. pack texts from last night: (nano 2020) Is there anything worse than a broken arm?

14. Triskelion: (nano 2020) “Are you sure about this?” Derek asks skeptically.

15. temperamental: (nano 2020) He doesn’t notice at first, because he’s crying. His cheeks are wet with tears, his nose runny. He sniffs hard and wipes the back of his hand over his face, and only catches the long smear of red stretching to his wrist in his periphery.

16. Peace: (nano 2020) When Dean wakes up to John’s eyes sparkling in the morning light, it’s hard to remember that this isn’t a dream. He takes in the lines furrowed in John��s forehead, the grey in his mustache and beard. This isn’t his dad how he remembers him from twenty years ago; this is new and beautiful and so comforting.

17. isn't it lovely: (nano 2020) They’ve just passed the peak of their ride when the wheel shudders to a halt. Dan catches himself on a rail but Phil stumbles forward a few steps in surprise.

18. Unforgettable: (nano 2020) Stiles clambers onto the tiny stage to a chorus of jeers and whoops from Scott and Allison and Jackson and Lydia, and even some of the people who aren’t here with him too. He recognizes Erica and Boyd and Isaac from school, and they’re sitting at a table near the back with a guy Stiles doesn’t know but really wants to, because he’s hotter than literally everyone else here.

19. Lasting Impression: (nano 2020) Stiles doesn’t come around much in the weeks following his possession. Derek understands, of course he does. It was a traumatic experience. But Stiles still hangs out with his other friends, even after school when they’re no longer forced to be in the same room. Derek can smell Stiles on Scott’s clothes, and Isaac’s too.

20. Indefinite: (nano 2020) “Put the gun down, snookums, I have news,” Peter says smugly, stepping into Chris’s workshop and slamming the door behind him.

I feel like this isn't a "fair" look at my fics because more than half are my nano project where I was writing a fic per day, sometimes from a prompt list, always very rushed and intentionally short. Having said that, though, maybe this is a very accurate look at my first paragraph style, considering this is my go-to for when I just need to get it moving.

I think my favorites are when I start with dialogue (except for #20, that was one of the dialogue prompts I used and I didn't even like it when I wrote it, but whatever, it got me through that day of writing). But I do think you need a specific sort of scenario for that, like you need a first line of dialogue that'll set the scene and still feel natural to the characters, and I also feel like this really wouldn't work as well for original characters.

It looks like I also start kind of in the middle of things, or right as things start happening. Not always what I would classify as "in media res" but pretty close. Fuck the build-up, that's what I always say. (That's not what I always say.) (I do say it sometimes, though.) I love reading slow burn and I like when things have a steady build, but I do not write that way myself at all. I find it very boring to write and I just get bogged down if I try to do a lot of worldbuilding or setting the stage before anything actually happens.

This is kinda interesting, though! I'd actually be curious to take a look at my last lines of fics, because I think that is another thing that's sometimes very unique to an author's style.

[succubusphan]

A Balancing Act

Summary: Phil is trying to balance work with life and love. Maybe it’s time for a change of pace.

Rating: G

Tags: Introspection, Slice of life, fluff, Established relationship.

Word count: 649

A/n: This was written for the Im-PROMPT-u phandom creator challenge hosted by the @phandomreversebang. Day 12: Balance. If you can figure out what he was scripting I’ll give you a kiss... jk, there’s a pandemic and you could be very young and that wouldn’t be cool, but I’ll give you pics of my cats.

Read on ao3

Phil turns on the kettle and goes about making some coffee. He hums a song to himself although he is not sure what songs it is, he can’t really remember. He sets his favourite mug on the counter, adds the coffee, the sugar and walks up to the window. The wind is blowing fast, rustling the leaves that are already turning orange in preparation for their imminent death. 

He smiles. 

The way time changes used to drive him mad but he’s grown to like it. He knows that Every year the cycle will start over again, a full cycle of life and death. His cycle still has a long way to go though. He is tired of working himself sick over and over, constantly promising both himself and Dan that he’ll be more careful now, only to let it turn into an empty promise.

He remembers how easy it was when they started their careers and everything was so new to just say yes to everything, always relegating life for a later date. It happened naturally. What they wanted was to be able to support themselves with their internet careers and to spend their time together, the fact that people enjoyed them both more as the “Dan and Phil” that Dan or Phil came as a happy coincidence. So they worked and worked and spent their time together and laughed and loved… but they didn’t really live - not for the biggest part of the last few years.

The kettle beeps, pulling him from his musings. He pours the hot water into his mug and adds the milk before sitting at the kitchen table in silence. He takes the first sip and it warms his throat and his heart. The sense of comfort makes him sigh in content. 

Phil opens his scripting notebook and clicks the pen open, taking a moment to collect his thoughts for a moment before writing down some key words into a list. He taps the pen against the pages as he thinks about what he’s going to say.

Ever since they decided to step away from their joint  branding it has been a bit of a trial and error. They shut the curtains into their privacy a bit while opening them a bit more into other aspects of their lives. He decides that it’s only fair to give some sort of warning to his followers about the upcoming changes. Having come out recently, they both have things to explore in their life. Dan being new to the community, wants to express his support and join the activism, Phil will do so in a more quiet way, for him it’s about living. 

They don’t have to work themselves silly to pay rent anymore, they don’t have to worry as much about what tomorrow will bring, they have earned some time off, they have earned to have a healthy relationship with work. Phil wants to see the world, he wants to reconnect with friends, he wants to go out and to stay in and he wants it all with Dan. 

They are trying to form a sort of balance between their free time, their relationship and work and even though it won’t always be perfect, Phil can’t wait to try new things, old things and everything in between with his love.

He looks up and finds Dan leaning against the counter, smiling like a fool in love, it causes Phil to mirror his expression. Dan walks up to Phil and leans down for a kiss, burning his fingers on Phil’s hair. 

He pulls. “Come back to bed, it’s too early,” Dan whispers with a little smile on his lips.

“It’s 11,” Phil notes with a smile of his own. 

Dan chuckles. “Like I said, too early. Come on.” He pulls Phil in the direction of their bedroom. 

Phil lets himself be dragged along, working can wait anyway.